#i can smell the whoppers

[just-a-drawing-bean]

We’re in the final stretches I should be done by Friday 👁👁

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

analyzing some images (for fun)

so i found this pair of promotion images for good omens season 1 on the good omens reference library server and it’s hooked me so so bad im having feelings about it. we’re analyzing them now. not really for meta purposes just fun to see the parallels and differences :)

everything under the cut !

unique traits

aziraphale:

1) his plank background. its older, its crisp, it smells like wood from the screen. mmmm

2) the pencil shavings at the bottom. he does a lot of writing honestly, so i like this. also adds a messy and cozy vibe he always seems to have in that shop…. i like that blessed shop fr

3) his SUSHI. little soy sauce drops near it too—just the right amount of deliberate mess. our first formal introduction to aziraphale in the present day and beginning the Tomfoolery just happens to have sushi... i watch that scene and i go “yeah, that sums up aziraphale i suppose” very nicely. (they dont have sushi Up There) (im literally never gonna forget that)

4) the ray of light shining on the scene. tiny thing, but a bit of the heaven is peeking through..it also sort of blurs the whole image but i think thats just me.

5) and we’ve saved the best for last: the big whopper. the nice and accurate prophecies of agnes nutter, witch. I LOVE THAT BOOK!!!!!!! i cant remember if that ring stain was there but if it isnt in the show on the actual book i’d assume thats to add that ‘thy cocoa doth grow cold’ thing. ALSO. you know what’s being used as a bookmark in the pages?? a check for the ritz. he bookmarked their one chance for living . with a ritz check . MMMMMM. my GOD. that means so much to me even if i cant convey it in words. he KEEPS THE CHECKS 😭😭😭😭😭😭

crowley:

1) let me get my favorite out of the way. crowley’s glasses have fire in their reflection. we’ll talk about the glasses themselves later but the REFLECTION IN THEM. fucking FIRE, BOOKSHOP fire, PAIN, SRIVING THROUGH THE M-25, HELL, I DONT KNOWIM HAVING FEELINGS!!! i do believe this is a bookshop fire reference though, the flames feel too Familiar. the lengths people will go to to attack others 🤧

2) the leather seat background!!!!!!! probably meant to look similar to the bentley’s seats but i cant recall their texture, exactly. maybe just meant to convey modernness—unsure. still, its there <3

3) the tiny little crisp plant </3 its trying his damned best to stay perfect. it might a specific plant that means something, but i cant tell at thsi angle, so i’ll assume its a mini version of the ficus he keeps in the flat. its so SMALL and sitting in ANOTHER POT i CANT

4) the snake slithering!! black and red (in this image it looks orange lol) bellied scales!!!! slithering there, chilling, being crowley, showing hints. love it

5) QUEEN RECORD!!!!! TRYING TO OVERRIDE IT WITH TCHAIKOVSKY!!!!!! the tape over it does a reminisence to crowley’s handwriting, but in a clean ‘this made made to be a font’ way. not exactly just yet. ive become a fan of tchaikovsky recently. amazing darling wonderful crowley, trying to push the rock up the hill for eternity 😞

6) HIS LITTLE DEMON KEY THING. HOLDING A TINY LITTLE BENTLEY CAR KEY OHHH. thats how he doesnt lose the tiny key despite probably not needing one of those. and he CHOSE that intentionally probably. little wings and red circle….URGHHHHHHH

similarities

mmmmm now here’s the good shit. similarities! i’ll bullet point most of them but ohhhhh. ohhhh these. i’ll go from top to bottom as best i can….

1) one of their shoes, obviously. crowley has them iconic snakeskin shoes while aziraphale has his old loafers like the old loafer he is /pos

2) chateauneuf de pape wine bottle labels! (crowley’s is under his glasses, aziraphale’s is next to his shoe). oh my fucking god theyre MATCHING. the labels are old, battered, of course labeling the drink’s age, but mmmmm its these tiny details that get me going….

3) their respective drinks in their mugs—crowley’s a black mug coffee (or what looks to be coffee) and aziraphale’s angel mug tea (or what looks to be tea). i think about that mug sometimes. where did he get that from?? mystery for the ages….

4) their glasses, of course. crowley’s iconic sunglasses and aziraphale’s reading spectacles. i cant really tell the reflections in this pair, but if its supposed to be fucking fire, im done with this. im giving up forever

5) their own watches! aziraphale’s is visibily older while crowley’s is visibly modern, but they function just the same. also, crowley’s is set to 2:56:59 (presumably PM), which is around the time we see when crowley starts checking his watch at warlock’s birthday party. its almost time for disaster to strike!! 😃

6) and finally….their ties!! they have their own ties!!! or more accurately, neck accessories, but i digress. i mesn i assume its crowley’s neck tie, because the fabric looks… different. either way, crowley’s neck thingie is very whispy and aziraphale has his funky little bowtie i love so much,,,

okay thats it. there’s no canonical implications, any fantheories, none of the sort. just saw a pair of images and my mind went GOD DAMN!!!!!! theyre very important to me. i need to look at more promo material 😔

[passivenovember]

Billy knows he's pregnant because he has a double whopper with no cheese on the way home from Loch Nora.

Billy hates the Burger King. It tastes like cardboard and the cheese burns noxious holes in his stomach, probably, but things change when you're gonna be a mom.

A dad. Whatever.

Steve Harrington shoots his wad and, like magic, like Steve Harrington's spunk has turned everything inside him into stardust, Billy can't get enough of the shit. He'd buy cologne made of BK's burger fat, if he could, and spend all day sucking on his wrist like a dog.

So. Billy's pregnant. It's obvious. Among other things.

And no one ever said Steve Harrington was smart, not in any way that matters, and Billy can't learn his lesson. They fuck on Thursday night because apparently this is a middle-of-the-week kind of arrangement, now, and Harrington comes apart inside of Billy because you're on the pill, Malibu, it's okay.

Billy likes it. Lets him. Thinks, there's probably no harm in it now that he's no longer the Virgin Mary. It feels immaculate, anyhow, that this could happen.

Steve fucks into him sloppy, losing his rhythm until he spills, and tears swamp Billy's vision so he misses the whole fuckin' thing. The main show.

He wants to keep the baby. No one ever said Billy was smart, either.

But there are things in this life he'll keep to himself. He's allowed that. He shares so much with Max and Steve, and by association all the other fucking people that love Steve, and it gets old.

He can have this.

Billy thinks that this could be just for him.

"Fuck, Billy," Steve pulls out, but not before peppering Billy's face with soft butterfly kisses. His breath smells like them. Like blueberry seeds, underneath it all, "Goddamn, your pussy's magic."

Billy's hole runs sloppy. Too fucked out to hold anything in.

Billy almost laughs out loud, because. It's magic. It's a joke, right, his pussy swallowed and now there's--

"Love that thing you do with your hips. Love the sounds you make when my shaft rubs--"

"You're a fucking pervert."

"I was normal, before you let me hit," Steve trails damp, sticky fingers through Billy's chest hair. "You hungry?"

I'm pregnant. "No."

"Sure?" Steve rolls closer on the mattress, nosing Billy's damp, pillow-squashed curls out of the way, "You smell like you could eat a fucking village."

"I'm fine."

"Orphans and all, baby."

"So fucking weird."

Steve hums. Pulls on Billy's earring with his teeth and then licks a wet, fat stripe over his bonding patch. Teasing. "If you're hungry I could get us food."

"I'm fine."

"Really, I just need to put some shorts on and I'm outta here, fuckin'. Pedal to the metal--"

"Jesus Christ, I said I'm not hungry so fucking drop it, asshole," Billy shoves away, sitting on the edge of the mattress. He feels around on the carpet for his jeans, his t-shirt, his converse.

Steve runs out of him, gluing him to 500 count Egyptian Cotton. Pisses him off.

"Billy," Steve says.

Billy tugs his socks on. He was freezing, apparently. Never realized it. His teeth chatter so he stoops, reaching for the closest hoodie shaped thing in their heap of discarded clothes, and then.

"You don't have to go, baby," Steve pokes him between the shoulder blades, gentle as a falling leaf. "Please stay."

"You're pissing me off."

"What else is new."

"I'm gonna--"

Steve wraps around Billy like a blanket, cock soft and sticky against Billy's tailbone. His legs are lean and strong, all muscle and good intentions, just like the rest of him.

Billy hates it.

He melts back against Steve's chest, anyway, vision swamped again.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong, or do I gotta beg?"

"Little manners might be nice."

"Billy Hargrove. Please tell me what's got you smelling like a sugar factory caught fire." Steve pets through his hair. Knows how it turns Billy to putty. Has to. "Omega troubles?"

Billy bites down on the inside of his cheek. Tastes blood. "You wouldn't get it."

"I could try," Steve tells him. His lips are soft against he back of Billy's neck, at his ear lobe, on the tense knob of his shoulder. "Please. Tell me so I can fix it."

"You can't," Billy says, traitor voice cracking open, raw, "You can't fix it. It's mine."

My life. My baby.

"Okay," Steve says easily. Kind and good and sweeter than anything Billy could ever deserve, "Stay the night, so I can cook for you before you fall asleep, and again in the morning."

Billy swallows, throat clicking like a dead lighter. Can't breathe, can't--

"It's alright," Steve kisses his neck, "Everything will feel better in the morning."

"We never should've started this bullshit," Billy sits up, heart lurching at the soft, pained noise Steve lets out into the air between them. He can't handle this shit. He can't do this, he can't--

"Billy--

"I'm pregnant," Billy says to Steve's Duran-Duran poster. Can't believe how young he feels, in this moment. Can't begin to wrap his head around the fact that he's twenty years old, and he's in Hawkins, Indiana, and he's going to have a fucking baby with someone who's got such a shitty taste in music, and--

He wants it.

More than he's ever wanted anything. Billy opens his mouth to say it, to scream it at the popcorn stucco, watching like a trillion angel eyes overhead.

But Steve breathes, like an old car trying to start. "You're sure?" He asks.

Billy's shaking even though Steve is a warm, solid weight against his back, burning them up. "Yes."

"How?" Steve asks, full of wonder, and Billy has to get away.

The carpet is heaven under his feet. "I've been. Eating a lot of Burger King."

"Burger King."

"Yeah. Cravings for shit I never liked before. Double whoppers with no cheese," Billy wrings his hands, "And. I didn't have a heat this month, so Joyce took me to the clinic. They said I'm only a few weeks along, but everything is good with her."

Steve makes a wet, heavy sound.

"I dunno. It kinda. Feels like one," Billy rubs a palm over his belly, quick as lightning, "I think it's a girl."

"Billy, please look at me."

Billy does, horrified but swallowing it, one bitter mouthful at a time. He plants his feet and everything bubbles up inside him. This is his life, his body, his baby, and he's going to to this for himself. Steve doesn't have to worry or fork out any cash or put his life on hold just because he knocked up some desperate omega--

Steve's crying. "We're having a baby."

Billy didn't expect this. He falters, mouth working in shocked silence.

But then Steve moves.

He pulls Billy to him, chest heaving as he laughs, high and bright. "Holy, shit we're gonna be parents," Steve twirls them, hooping and hollering like they just won the NBA championship. "Goddamn, your pussy really is magic!"

Billy giggles, in spite of himself. All the other shit melts away, for now, shadows receding under the blinding light of Steve Harrington.

"I can't fucking believe this," Steve says, pulling back to hunt over Billy's face, full of wonder. "Do you think she's gonna have your eyes?"

"I. I don't--"

"I feel like in high school science class we learned something about the brown eyes gene kicking the blue eyes gene's ass? But I would fucking die if our baby comes out looking like you."

"You're not," Billy swallows, choking on tears. "You're not mad at me? Or disappointed?"

"Disappointed?" Steve repeats, his face falling. "Billy, are you serious? No. No, I've fucking. Ever since I met you I've been sitting in this room every night twirling my hair around one finger and kicking my feet because, I--"

Steve's thumb rubs soft, soothing circles against Billy's cheek.

"Billy, I love you," He says gently, "I love everything about you. You're smart and you're hilarious and you're so beautiful--"

"--Steve--"

"--You make my heart feel like it's gonna beat out of my chest. I can't believe you let a loser like me climb on top of you, much less--"

Billy kisses him, eating up Steve's next words.

They don't matter, when Steve leads them back to the mattress. He eats every soft, gooey whimper out of Billy's lungs, swallowing them down and tasting the damp running between Billy's legs.

Makes love to him, while they talk about the future.

Steve only makes one joke about his dick hurting the baby's head, and Billy thinks they should sign up for a class or two.

[yelena-bellova]

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - One Shot #1

The Little Things

Plot: Joel and Y/n reminisce on life before Cordyceps

Word Count: 913

Warnings: language, loss of a child (16+)

A/N: Welcome back, folks! I feel like I’m stretching my Rosebud/Joel muscles after a long break, but hopefully this is a good way to dive back in 🏊🏻‍♀️ I’ve always thought that in an apocalyptic setting, eventually your mind would have to drift to wondering what things in the world you’d missed out on!

These one shots/chapter will vary in length, but the majority of them will be set in Jackson. I’m planning a few flashbacks (where to, I’m keeping a secret 🤫) but it will mostly be Rose, Joel and Ellie adjusting to life together. I’m excited to keep this lil’ world going 💜 Enjoy, my loves!

——————

“Big Macs.”

“Ugh.”

“Why ‘ugh?’”

“Because Big Macs were disgusting.”

“Says you.”

Joel and Y/n were laid in their bed, one elbow bent towards the ceiling, their hands intertwined. It was late, they both knew they should have been asleep an hour ago.

“Whoppers were better,” Y/n mused, sticking to her fast food opinions long after the chains were gone.

Joel scoffed, “Okay…”

“What was the name of that place by the fire station?” Y/n asked, lightly slapping her flattened palm against Joel’s.

“Mmm,” he thought for a second, “Mimi’s?”

“Yeah,” Y/n nodded, “That place was good too.”

“It was,” Joel smoothed his hand against Y/n’s before threading his fingers through the gaps between hers.

In the two weeks since they’d been married, both officially and unofficially, Joel and Y/n’s excitement to share a bed hadn’t wavered. Neither one of them could get home fast enough to one another after their mutual shifts in various parts of Jackson. Retiring to each other’s arms at the end of a long day of work was the sweetest reward to be earned.

“I’ve got a stupid one,” Y/n spoke up.

“There’s no stupid ones,” Joel offered back, his eyes were closed in relaxation.

“No, you’ll definitely think this one’s stupid.”

Joel smiled, “Hit me.”

Y/n inhaled deeply, sighing as she released the breath, “We never found out how Star Wars ended.”

To his credit, Joel tried to contain the laughter bubbling in his throat. But the pressure became too great to suppress and he snorted, rolling on his side and pressing his face to Y/n’s shoulder.

“You asshole,” Y/n joined in on her husband’s laughter.

“It’s not stupid,” Joel said with a contradicting smile, “It’s just that we already knew how it ended.”

“But we didn’t know how we got there,” Y/n gestured with her free hand to the ceiling, “We’ll also never know how Friends ended or if there would have been another Pirates of the Caribbean movie…”

Joel snickered into Y/n’s shoulder once more. Where Y/n would have once jokingly pushed him away, she let him stay. After two decades apart, no intimacy between them was ever rejected.

“I miss music shops,” Joel added once his laughter had ceased, “Can still remember the smell of all the guitars and the polishes.”

Y/n hummed, nudging her head closer to Joel’s till the tips of his curls were tickling her face.

“Maybe it’s just the playin’ I miss,” Joel continued, getting settled in Jackson was their top priority, but he was itching to find a guitar.

“I miss that perfume I used to wear,” Y/n added another entry to their game.

Joel’s head tilted in attention, “The lilac one?”

“How do you even remember that?” Y/n chuckled, their hands had separated and she was absentmindedly combing her fingers through Joel’s hair.

“I bought it for you for Christmas,” Joel replied, the heat of his breath fanning Y/n’s shoulder, “‘Member?”

The memories came flooding back from the dusty attic she’d hidden them in. “Right,” Y/n recalled.

“You said it was too expensive,” Joel added to the memory.

“Because it was.”

“You said you only bought yourself a bottle every few years,” Joel continued.

“I did.”

Just like every other time they talked about the little parts of life they missed, the conversation would inevitably hit a stopping point. A space where the memories of what once was began to press down on their chests, sometimes out of sadness, sometimes out of anger.

Joel could distinctly remember the scent of the perfume Y/n wore, how it would linger on his sheets long after she rose in the morning. All of Y/n’s memories of getting ready for date night involved spritzing the floral spray on her neck and wrists. It was the trivial things like it that represented a chapter of their lives they could never go back to.

The silence took over and Y/n’s fingers stopped their soothing motions. Joel craned his neck to look up at her, his emotions mirroring hers perfectly. Melancholia mixed with nostalgia and resignation.

This was the part of the night where they settled into each other’s arms and drew comfort from their mutual presence. It was all still so new, despite their history, and the simple act of holding one another was something for muscle memory to recall. But it was better to have the sting of what was lost soothed than to yearn in solitude.

Y/n dug her nose into Joel’s chest. Reminiscing on the past had once been a choking stab, now it was more like an ache. Ever present and ever painful, but bearable. Joel was making everything feel decent again.

Joel settled his chin on top of Y/n’s head, inhaling the scent of the simple soap they both used. Only upon Y/n and Ellie’s entrance into his life had Joel began to truly remember his past, both consciously and unconsciously. It was a whole new world to navigate, balancing his memories and building the future he thought he’d lost. But, much like Sarah’s memory, they were beginning to morph into something he could handle. He could even smile at most of them. And the ones that left him feeling hollow were filled by the embrace of his wife.

They were learning, Joel and Y/n, learning how to function as one again. If one stumbled, the other was there to pick them up. If one broke, the other was there to put them back together. It was beautiful and battle-scarred and above all else…it was safe.

————

TYL Taglist: @bachiracore @stolenxkissess @kayleezra @the-wistful-reader @allthesesonsofbitches @goth-detectives365 @trippovert @rh1nestonecowg1rl @emiliaserpe @khaleesihavilliard @frietiemeloen @gracie7209 @dorck26 @thegirlnextdoorssister @alanis-altair @mariwinns16 @whosscruffylooking @endofthexline @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @pedrosmexicangf @scarlettequinn @ao-sleepy @toinfinityandbeyonce2 @deanlovescassie @turmoil-ash @sorrowjunky @kpopslur @xxlilyxx90 @midgetpottermills @presidential-facts @scoopsnini @tubble-wubble @jamesdeerest @burninggracesandbridges @star-wars-lover @lucyhotchner @cococola-cocaine @witheringhqarts @fall-writes @alwaysdjarin @xxmoonn @emilia-the-artist @wand-erer5 @boneyarrd @lizard-zombie @themultifandomofmadness @cassidylea123 @paleepeaches @mxltifxnd0m @kettlekatie @ultimate-cinephile @gloryekaterina @caramelkatsukis-bitch @whovianayesha @memeorydotcom @deadunicorn159 @get0ut0fmyr00m @siriuslymooned @emmyeed @superbreadsoul @hellu-people1 @ourautumn86 @inas-thing @noraapple05 @givemylovetoall @luvwanda (tags cont. in comments)

[turtle-paced]

@gatorgenny asked (edited for length):

Generally speaking Donal Noye seems to be placed as a trustworthy voice by the author, and his role mainly seems to be giving Jon good advice (and yet more fuel for his whopper of a father figure complex) But... Isn't he just wrong on like 2/3? Even if you ignore the fact that he's passing lifelong judgements on people who he hasn't seen for almost half their life (or more since Renly was like 5!) Robert's basically a bro-y jackass before then too. Charismatic? Yes! Strong? Yes! Smells good enough that Ned's still thinking about it more than a dozen years later? Yes! But Renly's got most of those strengths too, and is only a little more hollow, and as far as morality, Robert's tacit encouragement of the murder of children is already on the books. [...] I'm just having trouble squaring this circle. Donal is presented so strongly as a wise mentor, and Jon doesn't have a later moment of reconsidering that advice or anything else Donal meant to him (that I can remember)

I agree that Donal Noye is placed as a trustworthy voice by the author, even allowing for the usual Westerosi biases (patriarchy etc).

But I do disagree that he got Robert wrong. I think a large point of Robert's character is that he did have the potential to be a great king. That charisma is not something that can be written off. Robert used that in wars to get people to side with him. Robert appears to have far better martial chops than Renly ever did, not just in personal combat, but also at least reasonably capable in command himself. Robert had everything going for him...and he went to rust. Fast.

Plus there's the usual thing that the author wants us to think about: is a good king in a bad social system really good?

As for Stannis, Donal Noye is talking ACoK!Stannis. As you say, he's got no way of knowing the character development Stannis has been through over ASoS. While it might be a good idea for Jon to form his own opinions, it doesn't make Donal Noye wrong - and even if Jon concludes that Stannis is more flexible than initially thought, 'more flexible than cast iron' is not exactly a ringing endorsement. Jon can also see that there are things Stannis doesn't bend on. It can still be a useful character assessment even if it's outdated.

[staceymcgillicuddy]

#12. "Just do it."

Thank you for letting me indulge yet another one of my "fifty different ways they could have met that didn't involve anyone dying" daydreams. Mwah!

“Just do it,” Eddie says to his reflection in the cracked bathroom mirror. “Today. Today’s the fucking day, yeah? Just do it.” 

How can he do it, though, with a zit on his nose? Eddie doesn’t spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about his face or anything, but like… that dude’s a whopper. Red with a white center, and he should probably squeeze it, but if he does that, it might bleed, and he can’t decide if it’s better or worse to ask Chrissy Cunningham out with a zit or the bloody scab of where a zit used to be. 

Probably he should just pop it at home and wait until tomorrow. That’s the solid course of action. Besides, he has Hellfire after school, and if he asks her out today, he’ll be distracted, and the sheepies deserve his full and undivided attention.

Plus—plus!—he and Chrissy have been partnered up for a month on this stupid English project, and it’s due on Friday and today’s Wednesday, so if he asks her out and she says no, that’ll throw off the whole vibe of their presentation. Which, if he says so himself, is a pretty badass show. Funny what happens when you actually make an effort in school, even if it’s just to impress the pretty blonde who initially didn’t seem thrilled to be partnered with you but now laughs every time you make a dumb joke.

It’s a lot easier for Eddie to concentrate on a task when he knows Chrissy’s gonna smile and say something like, “Eddie, that’s so good!” or “I never would have thought of that!” when he’s done. 

“Friday,” he says to his reflection just as the door to the bathroom opens and some bespectacled freshman stumbles in, sees Eddie, and beats a hasty retreat. 

Yeah, that feels about right.

It’s his free period, and he was originally gonna meet Chrissy in the library to work on their poster, but she put a note in his locker this morning saying it was a lovely day and could they please work in the quad instead? 

She’s got the girliest handwriting, and he definitely sniffed the paper to see if it smelled like her perfume. 

(One time, she left her scrunchie on the table, and Eddie stole it while she was in the bathroom. It’s uh… seen some things. He’s a dick. But, whatever. She has eighty of them.) 

When he arrives, Chrissy’s already sitting at one of the four painted-green picnic tables that decorate the quad. Her hair’s in a ponytail, which he pulls to announce his arrival because he’s five and she’s cute, and he wants to shove her down a slide on the playground to tell her he likes her, or whatever.

Jesus Christ, life would be easier if she hadn’t dumped Jason Carver two weeks ago, thus opening herself up as an actual option rather than a fantasy. And, sure, Eddie gets that he’s not even remotely close to her league, but whatever. Even a first date would be more than he deserves.

Chrissy twists at the tug on her hair, and her mouth’s painted with his favorite shade of peachy-pink, lips twisting into a smile. “Hi, Eddie.” 

“Hey, sunshine. I finished those drawings.” 

“Oh, let me see!”

Their presentation is on A Tale of Two Cities, which Eddie actually read (because he really is determined to fucking graduate this time), and also sort of dug because there was a lot of war and intrigue. It’s not Asimov, but he can see the appeal. For the presentation, he and Chrissy are doing a poster depicting the major plot points, and when she found out he wasn’t the world’s worst artist, she asked him to draw and…

Yeah, he’s been making an effort. Not just because he wants to get in her pants, either, but because he likes her as, you know. A person. She’s kind of weird, and he likes how her brain works.

Sitting across from her, he tugs out some loose printer paper from the ream Wayne stole from the plant a year ago. Management would be furious, Eddie’s sure.

Fuck management. Every time he rips the edging off a fresh piece of paper, it makes him smile.

“Oh, wow, Eddie,” Chrissy says when she sees the final piece, which is Carton approaching the platform with the guillotine. “This is amazing.” 

“Ah, thanks,” he says. “It’s no big deal.”

“No, it’s perfect. And I lettered the quote.” That had been Chrissy’s job—picking out the appropriate sentences and hand-lettering them on paper she soaked in tea to make it look old. “Once we have them pasted on, we’re done.” 

“So… cool, yeah. Done.” 

Chrissy carefully places his final drawings in her folder and shrugs. “We don’t have to meet tomorrow, I guess.” 

Shit. Eddie leans forward, fingers digging into the edge of the table. “Uh. Oh. I guess not?” 

“Maybe just Friday, before we present?” 

“Totally.” 

“Cool. We'll kick butt, and then hang out Friday night.”

Eddie's brain stutters to a halt. "We're hanging out Friday night?"  

"Yes. You're taking me out to the movies."

[finnglas]

So today the Menstrual Demons are the worst so I took the afternoon off work, popped a cocktail of pain meds, and passed out in my bed for roughly 3.5 hours. I feel better now. But I did just wake up from the funniest goddamn dream. Hang in there with me.

So to begin with I was in a Burger King in Alabama and they were filming a commercial for their new product. They had created a new burger called the Thwopper for a Batman movie tie in (no I don't know why Thwopper I will leave a note for my subconscious) and there was general social media outcry about it because apparently men felt emasculated pronouncing the lisp when ordering. Which I thought was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. This will be relevant at the end.

Anyway, there's this guy in a polo with some brand embroidered on it standing by the window and talking to this blonde PTA Karen looking lady that I can tell he's sort of just barely met, like maybe they're on a date, because they're doing the get to know you conversation. And I'm eavesdropping as you do, and he starts talking about he just bought this football team and it's full of delinquents and bad apples, etc., and listen, you don't have a football team in Alabama (not Lebanon, autocorrect, jeez) without 80% of them being Black, so my hackles were up because I smelled racism. Anyway, Polo Pete over here is very smug and a little gleeful when he starts talking about the disciplinary actions he's already implemented and more he's thinking about, and I'm watching her face as he's talking, and I lost it.

I matched up to the two of them, grabbed him by the collar to get him to stop talking, and pointed my finger in her face like I was scolding a dog and said, "We do NOT marry men to fix them." She opened her mouth to argue and I just repeated, "No, we DO NOT marry men to fix them. You cannot fix him."

And then I turned back to him and said, "And you be nice to those boys. You have NO IDEA the kind of trauma they're going through growing up in this kind of world, and they don't deserve an asshole like you playing out your Boss Hogg fantasies with their lives."

And then I turned and left the restaurant, but paused where they were setting up for another pass at filming the commercial, and said, "I'm not defending the assholes on social media, but for fuck's sake, 'Bat-Whopper' was right there."

And then I woke up.

[steverodgerslater]

My First Post

Mmmh…so this is my first confession here and it’s a long one. I’ve been at this cheating thing for a while but never really thought of sharing my stories until recently. I really get a high out of doing the most fucked up things and the thought of sharing it publicly turned me on so much I decided to give it a go today. At this moment, my hand is resting against my throbbing clit this morning just thinking about one of the sexiest moments last night that I had in my cheating life. The past couple days, my bf has been out of town and I’ve been waiting to fuck any guy I can get my pussy on. Late last night, my bf was scheduled to come back to town and I was feeling especially filthy and wanted to do something that, if he knew about it, would not only hurt him but would really mentally fuck with him if he had any suspicions.

In the evening, my clit was throbbing badly so I called two of my guy friends who had tagteamed me before and asked them if they wanted to get drinks and then hookup. Ofc they said yes so we agreed on a time and I got ready. I put on the tightest black leggings I owned without any panties, the kind that has a bit of a butt scrunch and gives a whopper cameltoe. And also a tight tee without a bra. I then got out my vibrator and began playing with myself through the leggings because I wanted to actually soak my crotch in pussy juices before meeting the guys. I like to be wet and smell of sex when any guy first touches me down there - it really turns us both on.

After about 20 mins of rubbing and vibrating myself, I finally got out the door, and as I was walking to meet them, I could feel thick soppy wetness just soaking my crotch and it was making my clit throb even more. We met at the bar, had a couple drinks, and then one of my guys began touching my thigh as we sat at the bar. I took my cue and parted my legs a bit and he slipped his hand down to my crotch and his eyes widened as he felt that I was actually so wet, that as he pressed my leggings into my pussy, some of the wetness actually squeezed out and made a soft squelching sound. My other guy on the other side of me began touching me too and I was a literal waterfall.

We paid our bill and as soon as we stepped outside, guy 1 pulled me around a corner into a side street that was a bit poorly lit, and began desperately groping at my body before dropping to his knees and burying his face in my crotch. The other guy and I passionately made out, sliding our tongues in and out each other as he groped my tits and also kissed and licked my neck. Fast forward a bit and we agreed that the night was perfect for a bit of public fun, so we went to a small park nearby with a lot of trees that is usually very quiet at night, and here is where we fucked like never before.

They tagteamed me standing up, with one guy behind me shoving his cock into my ass and a guy in front of me, lifting my leg and thrusting into my pussy. No condoms, no BC, nothing. Just raw, wet, sloppy sex. I blew them both, I was facefucked, and both my holes were used and dp’ed. I especially loved it when the guys used my ass…I never let my bf use it bc I like to make him think I just don’t like anal, but in reality I just like it when other guy’s bareback me. We passionately made out and fucked for a long time before some park rangers came in to do their periodic check so we quickly left.

I checked the time and knew my bf had probably just got home (I told him earlier that I was out drinking with some girlfriends) so I told the guys to come with me to my apartment building, and right outside the building, in another dimly lit area, I told them again pull my now sex-covered leggings down and fuck me and spill their cum inside my ass and pussy. So that’s what they did, one guy released a massive hot load inside my asshole and the other pushed it deep into my pussy.

Then I did the sluttiest thing I’ve ever done - I told them I had a dirty idea, and they got so excited about it. I pulled my leggings up and began rubbing their cocks all over my crotch, smearing both their precum and cum remnants all over my cameltoe and ass area before dropping to my knees and taking them both in my mouth deeply. I made sure that my tongue had some cum on it and that their cock flavor was thoroughly in my mouth. I immediately brushed my hair back, made myself look mildly groomed, and went into my apartment and my unsuspecting bf was back home lying in bed with the lights dimmed. He was so excited to see me he jumped up and came to give me a kiss - and boy did I kiss him! I french kissed my lovers’ cock juices into my bf, making sure I rubbed the flavor of their dicks onto his tongue and throat. My bf looked at me and said “oh babe you seem hot and bothered, you must’ve missed me so much!” I winked at him, pushed him onto the bed, and then sat on his face with my leggings still on and grinded my lovers’ cock juices into his face, relishing the squelching sound of my pussy against the cloth. When I let him gasp for air he commented that I smelled so good and tasted a bit salty but that was okay. Then I told him to lick my pussy so he tugged my leggings down and as he ate me out, all the cum in my ass and pussy dripped into his mouth and I loved smearing myself all over his face. He said something about me dripping like never before and tasting salty-sweet but he never thought that what he was eating was cum from other men. I spent a lot of time facesitting him until I pushed out all their cum and I knew he had swallowed it. We fucked after that, raw also so he got their cock juices on his cock and then we both washed up, cuddled and went to sleep.

Now it’s the morning and he’s knocked out still while my cunt is so wet reminiscing about last night. I can’t wait to do more things like this again - cheating on him gives me so much pleasure and there’s nothing I love than taking my innocent bf, exploiting his trust, and breaking my commitment to him over and over. Ive already gotten other guys to sleep with me in our shared bed, cum on his clothes, piss in his drinks. I’ve even gotten guys to cum on his leftover food so much that my bf wondered if it had gotten a little moldy bc it was a bit strange tasting but he ate it anyway. I never use condoms, and maybe one day I wanna get pregnant from some guy and pass it off as my bf’s. I’ve taken so much inspiration from you cheating women on this sub, and all I can hope is to do you proud and ruin my bf more than anything else in the world. I’m so bad that if he ever found out the things I did, it would probably fuck up his brain so much he might go crazy, and that thought just makes me throb harder.

Anyway, that’s my LONGass story for y’all 😂 DM me if you have any questions or suggestions or just wanna hear me share how I fuck up my bf’s life - like I said I’m new here so I might be slow in responding but I’m excited to share!

(1) My First Post : sluttycheaters (reddit.com)

[burger-king-unofficial]

Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Alexander, if you still even remember that name, But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for burgers has driven you in endless circles, chasing the smell of whoppers in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach, but you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend. My daughter, Kyle, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours, and then, what became of you. I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest - for you, and for those you have carried in your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.

[clericofshadows]

you got me in a chokehold

I posted this on AO3 already, but I never put the whole thing on my blog since it was a 10K whopper.

so I'm doing it now so that all my fics are in one place.

Description: Sequel to take me back to eden. Kaidan and Zaeed meet up on Earth to reconcile and to grieve over the loss of Regis Shepard. Rating: E Paring: Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko, Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani, Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani/Regis Shepard (past)

Kaidan stepped out of the Alliance transport hub, his bag slung over his shoulder, taking in a deep breath.  Always good to be back on Earth, and to be back home in the cool air of Vancouver.

He wished he wasn’t taking this trip alone.  

He walked down the street for a few minutes until he reached a small little cafe.  Quaint, locally owned, and a favorite of his and Regis’s that always had the best damn cookies and brownies.

The day Regis managed to get the recipe to their triple chocolate brownies was quite a victory.

Kaidan stepped inside, smelling the sugar in the air.  He waved at the owner of the cafe before sitting down at the bar against the windows, taking a seat next to Zaeed.  

“You should’ve gone into spec ops,” Zaeed laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.  “Too damn quiet.”

“That actually might be in my future,” Kaidan replied, leaning into his touch.  “Got a lot to think about.” “I’m sure you do.  Crazy times we live in.”

“No shit.  God, it’s only been like two months.”

“Feels like a damn eternity.  I keep expecting to get a ping from him, a check in message or some new hack he wants me to download.”

Kaidan nodded, staring out the window.  “I keep asking myself what I could’ve done differently, if I could’ve forced him to come with me, to abandon ship early.  But that wasn’t who Regis was.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Zaeed agreed.  “Not when it came to his crew I heard so much about.”

The owner came over and brought out his usual order, a small green tea with their triple chocolate brownie.  Something was different, however.

A folded piece of paper laid next to a wrapped stack of sugar cookies. Regis’s favorite order.

“This is on the house, Kaidan,” she said.  “I heard the news.  I’m so sorry.  I know he always loved these things, so I decided to give up my recipe.  I think he would like you to try and copy them yourself.”

Blinking away tears, Kaidan took the tray from her hands with a watery smile.  “Thank you, Lucy.  He definitely would.  I can hear him now, bitching about how I was the one who got the prize.”

“And he would be saying he can make them oh-so-better than me.  Bastard,” she laughed.  “If you don’t mind me asking, would you mind if I made a new menu item for him?  Something he liked but we don’t have.”

“Chocolate squares,” Kaidan immediately replied, thankful for her thoughtfulness.  “I’ll send you his recipe.”

“Thank you.  King’s Chocolate Squares, I like it!” she smiled.  “Enjoy your tea and snacks, Kaidan.”

“I definitely will.”

Kaidan took a sip of his tea as she walked back to the counter.  “She’s owned this place for years and has been a friend of my family.  Sort of a tradition to come here first if we’ve been off planet for a while.”

“I can see why.” Zaeed motioned to his cup.  “This is the best goddamn hot chocolate I’ve had in years.”

Kaidan split his brownie into two and passed it over to him.  “Try this.”

Zaeed took a bite and widened his eyes.  “Holy shit.”

“I know, right?”

Zaeed quickly finished the rest of the treat off. Kaidan pushed his plate towards him with a grin, but he held up his hand.  “It’s yours.”

“Let me be a gentleman.”

“Nah, I won’t be greedy this time.  I’ll save that for later.”

Why was it so easy to talk to him?  Even after everything that has happened?

“So confident there’s going to be a later,” Kaidan teased, taking a bite out of his brownie.  

“I don’t think you would’ve come all this way just for a goddamn brownie.”

“I don’t know, you just found out how good these were.”

“Fair point.” Zaeed shrugged, finishing off his drink.  “I got some interesting news to tell you as well, but that can wait until we’re back at the apartment.”

“Mine’s closer,” Kaidan replied, immediately intrigued.  “Unless you would prefer your accommodations?”

“Nah.  I brought my essentials with me.  I travel light.  It’s in a locked bag with my motorcycle,” Zaeed said.  "We can always go back to my place if needed."

“Sounds good.” Kaidan finished off his tea and carefully packed the recipe and the cookies in his bag.  “Lead the way.”

Kaidan followed Zaeed out the door after saying goodbye to Lucy.  They walked a short distance, hands brushing against each other the whole way, neither of them making a move.

Not yet.  Kaidan wanted it, but part of it still felt too soon, even if Zaeed’s offer was tantalizing.

Regis would want him to go for it.  He fell first and hard for the man back on their Omega adventures, Kaidan quickly joining him with his own infatuation after a few battles together.

Unafraid to work with biotics and unashamed of his abilities, Kaidan was drawn to Zaeed’s manner.  He meshed well with them, following up with strikes on carefully lifted and pulled targets without a second thought.

Perhaps he had worked with biotics before in his career as a merc, but there was something special there.

And Regis and Kaidan had yearned for more after it was time to go back to being Alliance soldiers.

“Do it,” he could almost hear Regis say in his ear, “make yourself happy.”

Ten years of a relationship and even more of a friendship taken away in an instant.  Over ten years of knowing each other, of becoming one on the battlefield, of surviving impossible odds and feeling each other’s biotic field when close together.

Kaidan missed the comforting press of Regis’s biotics.  Regis always claimed he wasn’t as strong as Kaidan when it came to pure control and precision, but Regis figured out how to reign in his field in such a way it would take a lot of concentration from another biotic to sense him.  Something he perfected during N training.  

Something he later taught Kaidan as an in-case measure.

Kaidan now kept his field in close.

There’s no longer another biotic by his side to sense it.

Kaidan snapped out of his thoughts once Zaeed came to a stop.  Zaeed perched himself on the motorcycle, holding out his hand and a spare helmet.  Kaidan took his hand and put on the motorcycle helmet, noticing that it was painted a grey camo pattern with blue stripes, just like his armor.

“You made this just for me?” He asked, wrapping his arms around Zaeed.

“I had one made for Regis as well,” he admitted, “N7 stripes and all.  Kept them stored here on Earth, and I was going to give them to you after your mission as a surprise.”

Fuck.  Was Zaeed hoping that one day their relationship could resume beyond just messages and vid calls?

“He would’ve loved it,” Kaidan replied, trying to keep his voice steady.  “Hell, did I ever tell you about the motorcycle he stores on my family’s property?”

“No, I don’t think you did,” Zaeed said, and Kaidan could hear the strain in his voice as well.  “Tell me more.”

The motorcycle roared to life as they activated the comms in their helmets, damping the sound some and allowing them to better talk on the drive.  Kaidan sent Zaeed the address to his apartment, and then they were off.

“Regis was obsessed with pre-eezo bikes, and somehow, he managed to get his hands on one in decent condition.  Hell if I know what he paid for it, but he loved taking that thing down all the roads in the country and tinkering with it.  We had a lot of good times riding together.” Like this, he wanted to say, arms wrapped around someone I love.  Someone I trust to never crash and to keep me safe.

“I’m sure you two had lots of fun riding together.” Zaeed laughed.

“That too,” Kaidan replied with a grin, knowing that Zaeed couldn’t see it.  “Remember, despite all Regis’s confidence, he’s the one that always paused with those kinds of comments.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t forget.  Did you rile him up during your mission?”

“A few times.  We had to keep it somewhat professional.”

“Surprised you were able to stay together.  Regis mentioned that he leveraged the Alliance’s want for him to be on that ship by making sure you were on board.”

“Some of the Admirals were aware at the time, but the ones that did didn’t care.”

Hackett. Ahern. Hannah. 

“Sounds like it could’ve been the perfect posting for you two.”

“It really was.”

They fell silent after that.  

The traffic was light, and soon Zaeed was parked at Kaidan’s apartment building, and they were heading inside.

Kaidan unlocked the door with a wave of his omnitool, the lights turning on the moment they walked in.  He quickly showed Zaeed where everything was, stopping at his bedroom to drop off his bag.

Kaidan sat down on the bed, noticing a long black coat still thrown over the edge of the bed.  

One of Regis’s favorite coats.

Zaeed joined him on the bed a moment later.  “Want me to get that for you?”

Kaidan shook his head, unable to speak, tears starting to roll down his face.  He reached out and grabbed the coat, breathing in deep.  Citrus and eezo and vanilla.  

Zaeed wordlessly pulled him in close.  Kaidan rested his head on his shoulder, the coat squashed between him, finally allowing himself to let it all out.

Nothing about this was fair.

None of this should’ve happened.

Regis should be here with them.

Instead, all he has is a fucking jacket.

Shaking with sobs, Kaidan held onto Zaeed tightly. Zaeed rubbed his back, a comforting touch that grounded Kaidan. 

Like Regis, Kaidan rarely allowed himself to lose control or show weakness. The two of them fed off of each other, only letting go in the comfort of the other.  

If Kaidan didn't have Zaeed here, he may not have ever allowed himself to let go, needing the comfort of somebody else to ground him. 

His parents had been great through all of this, expecting a visit while he's here on Earth.  He’s glad he has them, but it’s not enough right now.

But one day, it will be.

He wondered if Zaeed had lost someone close to him before in his long life as a merc. He understood what Kaidan needed in the moment, never questioning, just being a strong presence and a soft place to land. 

Like what Kaidan wanted to be for Regis when he didn't want to be Commander Shepard.

Perhaps only a few minutes passed, but it felt like a damn eternity once he calmed down, face wet with tears and body filled with exhaustion. 

He pulled away as Zaeed eased up on his embrace. 

Zaeed cupped his face with a gentle grip, wiping away some of the wetness. "What do you need, Kaidan?" He asked, his voice strained, and Kaidan noticed that his eyes were red and damp with tears as well. 

God, they were a mess. 

"I need you, Zaeed," Kaidan said, letting go of Regis's coat, feeling like he's letting go of a chapter of his life. 

But that's what Regis would've wanted, never one to dwell much in the past and always focusing on the future and moving forward. He would want Kaidan to move on and allow himself to love someone he can trust, and Zaeed is right there. 

And perhaps that's all they needed to finally act on the feelings that's been brewing between them starting all the way back in Omega, starting the moment the three of them shared a bed together in the midst of a crazy battle against an angry vorcha mafia.  Zaeed leaned in and Kaidan met him halfway, kissing him slowly and softly and sweetly, letting out a content sigh as Zaeed ran a hand into his hair. 

Zaeed was the first to pull apart, placing his hands on Kaidan's leather jacket collar. "Why don't we wash up a bit?  I saw that the shower and bath was large enough for the two of us."

Kaidan nodded, letting Zaeed take off his jacket. "But we really do need to talk. Not just about us."

"I know. That old friend I mentioned?  I'm sure you're well aware of Steven Hackett."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow, stopping in the midst of taking off his sleeveless mock neck. "I'd like to know that story."

"We go way back," Zaeed waved it off. "But my point is, he wanted me to keep an ear close to the ground, and for me to be aware of the truth of the goddamn battle at the Citadel that you participated in."

"Meaning the Reaper threat."

He nodded. "Exactly, even if I don't fully understand it myself. Hackett's gathering allies unofficially, but there's still too much damn uncertainty.”

"Regis's mother gave me a heads up about Hackett wanting to meet with me."

"And is that going to include whatever the hell you're going to be getting up to next in the Alliance?"

"I'm going to become an N and be the first biotic in Regis's accelerated training program," he replied. "Finally doing the damn thing he's always wanted me to do." Kaidan couldn't quite keep the bitterness out of his voice. 

"Listen, I know he wanted the both of you to wear the red stripe together, but don't blame yourself for not wanting to go for it until now.  Would you have ever done it unless your hand was forced?" 

Kaidan looked away. "Probably not. I knew I could handle it, but it wasn't something I felt like I needed to do."

"But is it something you want to do now?  Or are you being forced into it?” Zaeed sounded concerned. 

“A bit of both.  They want me to finish what he started in the new biotic programs he was creating, while also being a trial run for his new programs,” Kaidan admitted.  

"As long as you show those bastards what you can do while staying true to yourself, that's all that matters." Zaeed threw his jacket and sweater over the bed. 

"I had a very similar conversation with Hannah."

"Then we might've gotten along," Zaeed mused. 

Kaidan shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. She and I've never been close, but that's mostly due to Regis."

"He was very tight-lipped about his childhood. Not great?"

"He never wanted to be a spacer kid."

"And he joined the Alliance anyway?"

"He did, but he did it on his own terms."

Zaeed chuckled. "I can see that." He crossed his arms against his bare chest, giving Kaidan a calculated look. "What is it you aren't telling me about him and space?"

Shit. 

Kaidan tossed his shirt on the bed, mingling with Zaeed's clothing. "The last thing Regis wanted was to die in space."

Zaeed widened his eyes. "Fuck."

"And I listened to it," Kaidan admitted, sitting back down on the bed. "I heard every last word, every breath he struggled to take, every plea he had for him to somehow not die in space."

“Wait, you heard him get spaced?  What really happened?”  Zaeed sat down next to him.

“We were hit by an attack from some kind of unknown ship.  Ripped us to shreds damn near instantly.  He ordered me to get off the ship while he grabbed our pilot.  He was able to get our pilot out, but not himself,” Kaidan summarized.  “Regis wasn’t going to leave anyone behind, but I knew all the details of his ‘disaster’ plans, and our pilot disobeyed his orders.”

“How so?”

“Regis was a bit of a pilot himself, at least, when it came to smaller ships and shuttles.  There’s a story I should tell you about the time when he was a teenager and stole a shuttle off his mother’s ship to get to Earth.” Kaidan cleared his throat.  “Anyway, Regis recognized when a situation couldn’t be helped, and wanted our pilot to get himself out alive because there were moments that no good piloting could save a ship.”

And the space above Alchera was one of them.

“Feel free to blast me across the room for even asking this, but do you blame ‘the pilot’ for not abandoning the goddamn ship when he had the chance?” Zaeed asked.

Kaidan laughed mirthlessly. "You read me too well."

"Part of the job. You don't have to answer." That's answer enough, was left unsaid. 

"No, I might as well tell someone else," Kaidan sighed. "We exchanged some heated words after the fact and we were all 'settled' back on the nearest Alliance station."

"What the hell happened, Joker? Why wasn't he with you?"

"There was another blast right when he got me in the shuttle."

"Did Regis have to drag your ass in the pod?  You knew he was going to come for you!"

Ashley came up behind him. "Kaidan—"

"Don't 'Kaidan' me!  He knew what the fucking plans were and still stayed put!  I don't care what you have to say Joker, Regis—"

"My piloting ensured as many of you could get the hell off the ship!  I know that Regis died while saving me, but don't go blaming me for something that I couldn't have controlled!"

"Couldn't have controlled?  No, you just couldn't stand being wrong about anything involving the Normandy!  But it doesn't matter anymore, now does it?  You might've saved the ship a few precious seconds, but Regis didn't get any!"

Ashley stepped between them, interrupting whatever Joker was going to say next. "This is not the time to be fighting!  God, it's a terrible day when I'm the fucking mediator. Joker, you knew what the orders were. Both of you, walk away before things get more ruined than they already are."

"You aren't going to call out Alenko for prioritizing his boyfriend over the rest of the crew?" 

Kaidan felt his biotic corona roar to life. "Go fuck yourself Joker and remember that Regis died for you!  He was never going to leave anyone behind!  And he chose you."

Zaeed listened to the story, never betraying anything with his expression about his own thoughts and feelings on the matter. 

"We haven't talked since, not even during the damn funeral.  All I've heard is that he's grounded now, and with his record, I'm not sure if he'll fly anything like the Normandy ever again," Kaidan finished. "I'm not proud of how I reacted, but I'm not yet ready to apologize for anything that I said."

"No need to defend yourself to me, but it sounds like you at least have a good friend there in that Ashley."

He nodded. "She tore me a new one, and I don't blame her for it. But I had to know."

"Regis once told me he felt like he finally found himself a home on that ship," Zaeed said after a short moment of silence. "Even if he did bitch about some of the crew."

"Like who?"

"That pilot you were talking about. Some of the younger Marines.  The asari you rescued," Zaeed listed off. "But he seemed to like everyone for the most part. Would've loved to see him in his element.  God, I should've brought out the goddamn whiskey for this talk."

Same group Regis would always complain to him about. Kaidan hadn't thought about T'Soni since the Saren mission, not really caring where she went after the battle of the Citadel. 

Regis prioritized her mission last, and he never really formed a bond with her in the same way with all the other crew members and ground teams on the ship. He saw her as a liability, and openly refused to let her meld with him. 

Honestly, Kaidan wouldn't have allowed it either if it were him in that situation. It still shocked him that Regis let Shiala in, but that was far more dire in comparison.  Especially since Regis was able to supply enough detail for T'soni to figure out where the Conduit lied purely from his descriptions. 

"There's still time."

"Nah, even I can admit that would've made things worse right now. It's too damn fragile right now."

To hell with it.

Kaidan leaned in and claimed Zaeed's mouth with his own, pressing in against him and making him fall back on the bed. Warm skin rubbing against each other, feeling every inch of the man underneath. 

A feeling he's yearned for again for too long. 

Zaeed made a pleased noise, one hand grasped in Kaidan's curls, the other slowly teasing down his front.  Kaidan joined his hand on top of Zaeed's, guiding him down to his zipper as he started to kiss down his neck. 

"Anything changed since our last encounter?" Zaeed asked, pressing lightly against his hardening cock. 

"No, not really," Kaidan said, hovering next to his ear. "But I've taken to an even greater liking to being in charge."

"That doesn't surprise me.  Want to order me around, be in control?" Zaeed chuckled, but his expression was serious. 

Kaidan pulled back slightly so he could face him. "No, not today." He maneuvered himself so that he was leaning against the pillows, switching their positions for the moment. 

It would be so easy to say yes, to claim and that semblance of control he so desperately wanted to have right now. 

But not yet. Not when things felt so delicate between them. 

Not when the ghost of Regis still lingered. 

Zaeed winked and pulled down Kaidan's zipper, yanking down his pants and boxers in one quick movement.  Kaidan gasped as Zaeed lightly took his dick in his hand before swallowing it down in one go.  

"Goddammit, Zaeed!" Kaidan moaned, barely keeping his hips from thrusting into his mouth. "Give me a warning next time."

Zaeed pulled off for a moment, kissing the tip before saying, "You like it that way."

He does, but he's not about to admit it. 

"Bastard," Kaidan said, moving his grip to tangle in Zaeed's hair, his biotic field coming to life in a bright blue.

Zaeed took him in, his cock hitting the back of his throat.  Kaidan let himself relax into the bed, gasping and letting out small noises as Zaeed worked him closer and closer to the brink. Oh, how he missed this.  Missed having this man in his bed. 

His corona stuttered, his hips starting to move with Zaeed's clever tongue and talented mouth. He made a pleased sound as he swallowed Kaidan down once more, pulling off right when Kaidan made a high-pitched whine, nearly about to come down his throat. 

"Not yet," Zaeed rasped. "I want you to come in me."

With a quick twitch of his fingers, Kaidan pulled the bottle of lube that sat on his nightstand. He sat it down on the sheets, raising an eyebrow at Zaeed and motioning down at his pants at his knees. 

"Use your words, Kaidan," Zaeed said, a grin tugging at his lips. 

Oh, he wants to play it that way?

"Finish what you started," Kaidan ordered, clasping his hands together behind his head. 

Zaeed pulled down his pants, tossing them on the floor.  “You look good in ink,” he observed, lightly tracing the branches that were inked on Kaidan's left thigh. The tattoo he got to mirror Regis's own tree on his right arm. 

Kaidan shuddered at the light touch. "I've been meaning to get more but never found the right piece."

“Let me know when you do.  I want to see it.”  I want to be part of it, Kaidan heard.

Zaeed then slowly ran his hand down his chest, lightly squeezing his nipples, palming his covered bulge, letting out a groan before he tugged down his pants, tossing them on the floor with the rest of the clothing.

Kaidan took a moment to stare at the man in front of him. Beautiful tanned and scarred skin, dark, thick line work covering his arm and his chest. The expression of pure pleasure gracing his face as Zaeed slowly stroked his cock, giving Kaidan one hell of a show. 

"Gorgeous," Kaidan murmured, crawling towards the man to claim his mouth, kissing him slowly, sliding their lips and tongues together, skin against skin. 

"No, you're the gorgeous one. How lucky am I to have you here with me?" Zaeed breathed against his mouth. 

"We can play this game all day, love," Kaidan replied, the endearment flowing out of him like water. "Because I can't believe you're here with me."

Zaeed started kissing down his neck, nibbling at the skin, leaving little marks down to his chest. 

It should feel too soon with everything that has happened, but it doesn't.  He felt nearly at home with Zaeed, a feeling he had with Regis. 

"I wanted to commit with him, I really did." Regis admitted, snuggled in Kaidan's arms a few days after they returned from Omega, resting in Kaidan's childhood home. Can't have extended shore leave without visiting the Alenko's. 

"Me too.  I always thought you were it for me, and I've never wanted for more. He was different," Kaidan said, pressing a kiss against the skull tattoo on the back of Regis's neck. 

"He felt like coming home, just like how you feel to me."

"That's exactly how I felt."

Regis laughed. "And that's how I know we are meant for each other. At least he gave us a way to keep in contact.  A private number of all things.”

"Maybe one day things will change, love."

"I imagine it won't as long as we're Alliance soldiers. It's not easy."

"No, it's not, but I didn't take him as the type that wanted 'easy.'"

Zaeed leaned back in the bed and slid his thighs apart, his erection flushed against his stomach.  Before grabbing the bottle, Kaidan waved his fingers, gathering dark energy to trail down Zaeed's chest, teasing at his nipples before jolting at his cock. 

Zaeed gasped in surprise, squeezing his eyes shut. "Fuck, Kaidan!  How the hell can you do that?"

"Lots of practice and my own high levels of control," Kaidan said with a smirk. "I can take you apart with just a wave of my hand." He flared out his corona to illustrate his point. 

Zaeed’s eyes darkened.  “Enough teasing.”

“Thought that was what you wanted?” Kaidan asked lightly, hitching Zaeed’s legs up and coating his fingers.  He reached down to tease at his hole, waiting for a response.

“Get on with it already, goddamnit!” Zaeed groaned.

“All you have to do is ask.”  He pressed one finger into his hole, and then another, taking his time to work open the tight, hot body.  Only meeting a little resistance, Zaeed must’ve been with other partners recently, but he implied he wanted it bare.

Kaidan trusted him, and he continued to work in a third finger, spurred on by Zaeed's heavy breathing and fists grabbing at his expensive sheets.  They’ve only fucked once, while Regis watched, tied up and desperate to be touched, only able to watch as the man he loved pleasured another.

It was a quick, hard, and fast thing, Kaidan pulling all the stops to press deeply into Zaeed, taking the merc down a few notches in the process.  Kaidan thought they would be two dominant personalities tangling and fighting against each other, united in their desire to make Regis feel good, but Zaeed surprised him with his occasional versatile taste.

That was a night Kaidan never wanted to forget.  Seeing Zaeed take care of Regis so readily after they finally turned their attention to him, and ensuring he got all the tactile love he needed once they were done with their scene.

A stark contrast to the hard-ass merc he portrayed on the outside.

Kaidan twisted his fingers once more, feeling Zaeed seize up with a deep groan. There it is. "You ready for me?" Kaidan asked, wiping his fingers on the sheet.

"Yes, Kaidan!" Zaeed groaned, voice full of gravel and lined with pleasure. 

Kaidan leaned in to cup his face and gave him a sweet, soft kiss that had Zaeed rolling his eyes but going pliant anyway. 

He slicked himself up and hitched Zaeed's legs over his shoulders, finally pressing into his hole.  Zaeed let out a long, deep groan, sighing as Kaidan bottomed out and bended Zaeed nearly in half, his flexibility nearly rivaling his own. 

They breathed together for a moment. Zaeed moved to grip onto Kaidan's arms.  His face broke out into a grin, and Kaidan took that a sign to move.

Kaidan fucked him in long, slow strokes, drawing out the feeling, enjoying forcing out whines and moans from the older man. 

Kaidan loved taking his lovers apart, bit by bit, until they were lost in pleasure. 

He took his own pleasure in the tight heat, letting go of his own control, meaning with Zaeed as he brought himself closer and closer to release, his corona shining bright in the dark room. 

With a flick of his wrist, he extended his barrier to envelope both of them, a trick he and Regis perfected in the heat of battle to help protect their non-biotic squadmates. 

It had its uses even beyond the battlefield. 

He watched as Zaeed's eyes glazed over, his mouth caught in a wordless moan as Kaidan fucked into him deeper and deeper, the electricity of his biotics creating a heightened sensation. 

Kaidan took hold of his cock, stroking in time with his thrusts, grinning as Zaeed got even louder. "I'm almost there," he grunted. "Come for me, Zaeed."

"Ah, fuck," Zaeed cried out as he finally had his own release, and Kaidan followed moments later, spilling deep in his hole with one last thrust, his biotics flaring out in a bright pulse, moaning Zaeed's name like a damn prayer. 

Still inside him, Kaidan lifted up his come covered hand and licked it clean, watching as Zaeed stared at him. "Fuck, you're unbelievable," Zaeed said, satiated, falling back against the pillows with a groan. 

Kaidan slowly pulled out of him, reaching for the box of tissues to clean themselves up, but Zaeed stopped him. "Not yet."

Kaidan shrugged and settled himself next to him, letting Zaeed wrap a tattooed arm around him. "Fine by me, but I'm getting up in a few to take the damn shower we were talking about earlier."

"I'll join you," he murmured. "I haven't been fucked that hard in a long while."

"You're welcome."  Kaidan grinned.

Zaeed grinned back, letting out a sigh.  “What’s next?”

“What do you mean?” Kaidan knew what he meant, but he wanted to hear it. No implications. Real communication instead. 

“What’s next for us?”

Kaidan turned on his side to face Zaeed.  “We—I always wanted more, whatever that may be.”

Zaeed closed his eyes.  “I wanted it too, but now with you going off to N training and me keeping an ear to the ground… it’ll be hard to make it work.”

“But doesn’t that mean it’s worth trying, however we define it?”

The words they should’ve said three years ago.  But it’s not too late.

“Friends with benefits ain’t enough.  That’s not what we are.”

“What are we, then?”

“You called me ‘love’ earlier.  And I liked it.  So…” Zaeed trailed off.

“Lovers, then,” Kaidan said.  “Whatever and wherever that may take us.”

Saying that felt like coming home.

But a small part of him still felt like it was a betrayal to Regis.  It shouldn’t, knowing what the man’s thoughts were on this kind of thing.

“I finally updated my will and put it on my omnitool.  It’s also stored on my private server, y’know,” Regis said before their mission, before they were stationed on the Normandy.  

Kaidan nodded.  “I remember, and I won’t forget.  Mine’s also been updated, just in case.” “And I hope nothing ever fucking happens.  I added something new for you.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Regis waved it off.  “Just a personal message.  I’ve always had one for you, but I’ve added a few things to it.”

“I’m not worried, just curious.  I’ve left a few messages for you and the family but haven’t updated them in a while.  You reminded me I should.”

“Nothing wrong with being a little curious.  Just hope you never have to listen to them.”

“And I hope the same for you.”

“Obviously,” Regis laughed, always able to make light of a situation like this, especially one that had felt so foreign and so impossible.  His expression suddenly grew serious, his red eyes staring Kaidan down.  “But I want you to know this: Don’t you dare prevent yourself from moving on.  I don’t give a shit when you do it, but don’t let your happiness die with me.”

Kaidan didn’t think it would be that easy but agreed anyway.  “I promise.”

“And that’s all I ask."

Kaidan had already dealt with the damn will with Hannah, not that there was much to it.  Regis was straightforward with that kind of thing.  Most of his assets went to Kaidan, leaving a few various things and monetary amounts going to his mother, his uncle, and some even to Kaidan’s family.  A few weapons and other items he kept stored planetside went to Zaeed, and they had already handled that as soon as they could.

He hasn’t yet listened to the message.

“Getting lost in your thoughts?” Zaeed asked, pulling Kaidan closer in.

“Thinking about something Regis said to me,” he admitted.  “He wanted me to find happiness, if something happened.  I kept wrestling with myself about this whole thing, but…”

“It’s what he would’ve wanted,” he finished for him.

“Or something,” Kaidan said, still not fully convinced, but here he was, enjoying the post-orgasmic glow with another man.  “There’s also a recorded video Regis left for me, but I can’t bring myself to watch it.”

“I can watch it with you?” He offered.  “Let’s wash up and take it one goddamn step at a time.

Kaidan nodded, and they untangled themselves from each other.  Kaidan offered a hand and guided Zaeed to the bathroom.

The water was warm and soothing, just what they needed.  Taking comfort in each other’s presence, touching and brushing against one another, but nothing more than a tease.  Just appreciating the intimacy in the moment, already satisfied with how their evening has gone.

Now in a warm pair of joggers and a sweater—Zaeed borrowing a pair from Kaidan despite them being a little too short for him—they curled themselves up on the couch in the living room, underneath a warm blanket.  Kaidan’s omnitool sat on the coffee table.

He took a deep breath and grabbed it, accessing their private server and entering in the information to access the video.

Regis appeared on the screen, clothed in his favorite black turtleneck, his dog tags hanging proudly around his neck, his father's ring gleaming in the light.  He looked at peace, despite the content of the video.  Kaidan wanted to look away from the perfect picture of his beloved, but he gathered enough strength to play the video.

“Kaidan, if you’re watching this, then I’m so fucking sorry that you’re in this situation.  That somehow I was able to get you out alive without covering my own ass, too.  Or something along those lines.” He laughed, and then cleared his throat.  “Not the damn time, Regis.” He muttered.

Kaidan thought he had nothing left, tears already dried up, but more threatened to fall.  

“I wanted you to know that I loved you so much, and I hope you are keeping Dad’s ring safe, whatever it is you decided to do with it.  Wear it, store it, whatever.  My mother kept vigil over it, then it was me, and now it has come to you.  I only wish I was able to give it to you myself, underneath that big appletree that you and I loved to sit under back home."

Regis considered Kaidan's family home. 

And that goddamn ring. He never even thought about the possibility of it being lost along with his fucking body. 

It haunted him nearly as much as Regis’s memory.

“I also hope you remember our conversation.  Take the time you need to grieve, but also remember to find happiness in whatever that may be.  Hell, we both know someone that I hope will be there for you.  So don’t worry about me haunting your ass for claiming what we both wanted, if that’s where that goes.” Regis shook his head, a small smile gracing his face.  “Shit, tell Massani directly that I will haunt his ass if he doesn’t keep an eye on you for me.”

They were all such idiots, weren't they?

They could've made it work, but none of them wanted to be the one to make that brave first step. 

Kaidan paused the video, wiping his eyes and reaching for the box of tissues on the table, setting it between them. Zaeed yanked a few out of the box, tossing him some whole keeping some for himself. "We were such fucking idiots."

"No shit," Kaidan wetly laughed, pressing play again.

"Just… live for yourself Kaidan, and not for me. Hell, I've probably given you some impossible promises already, but all I ask is for you to be able to move on.  If that means leaving the Alliance or following in my footsteps or whatever, then so be it. I want you to live. That's all I've ever wanted, even since the day I met you back at BAaT. I never thought I would find something so good and so precious there, despite everything." Regis laughed, and it was like music to his ears. 

"All this to say, I love you. And this video is asking you to let me go.  This is Regis Lucian Shepard, signing off.” He touched the screen with his hand, as if he was caressing a face, before it went dark.

Regis knew him too goddamn well.  Of course he did.  Ten years of a relationship… becoming friends at BAaT… a long history.

He knew Kaidan would struggle with his own feelings and gave him an out.  No questions asked. 

Kaidan turned off his omnitool and let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. 

They laid together on the couch, in each other's arms, in the silence of the apartment, letting the message sink in. Zaeed laced his fingers with Kaidan's, squeezing with reassurance. 

A message pinged on his omnitool before he could fully gather his thoughts.

Kaidan activated his tool once more to see that it was a message from his mother.  He checked the time and realized it was close to the time he promised to call. 

"It's from Mom," Kaidan said, clearing his throat. "I was supposed to call her, but I got, uh, distracted."

"Need me to get up for a bit?" Zaeed asked, not making any sort of move to get up.

Kaidan shook his head. "No, unless you'd be more comfortable not being in the vid call.  I don't want to hide what we have."

"Sure, I'll stay.  It's been a while since I've met the parents," Zaeed replied but sounding hesitant. 

Kaidan glanced up at him.  "Uh huh. You have nothing to worry about. Mom will understand."

"I am not worried."

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Massani."

He hovered over the call button, studying Zaeed's expression. When he smiled slightly, Kaidan took that as consent and started the vid call. 

He should probably move to where he wasn't lying on his chest, arms still wrapped around him, but he didn't want to leave his comfort just yet.

His mother's face appeared on the screen, all warm smiles and a positive presence. "Kaidan!  I was beginning to worry that you forgot!  Am I interrupting something?" She greeted, her expression turning concerned. 

"No, not really.  It's just been a rough day, Mom, and there's someone I want you to meet." He transferred the call to the larger screen in the living room. "Mom, meet Zaeed Massani."

"Well, it's nice to meet a friend of Kaidan's, or shall I say something more?  You might want to adjust your turtleneck some, sweetheart, you got a little something…" she motioned with her hand to a spot underneath his chin, and Kaidan immediately felt his face warm up. "I'm just teasing. Now, tell me, how did you two meet?  There's a familiarity I see between you that reminds me of Kaidan and…" she trailed off, looking away. 

"You can mention him, Mrs. Alenko," Zaeed said before Kaidan could say anything. "The three of us go way back. I just happened to be in the area when Kaidan gave me a heads up that he was heading to Earth.  Sorry for interrupting your time."

"Ah, it's not a problem.  I'm happy he has someone to confide in during all this. It's still very soon, you see, Regis became a member of our family the day they returned after their biotic training.  And it's Aurelia, Zaeed. Such a gentleman," she gushed. "Way back, you say?  Tell me the details you're willing to share."

"Met them while they were on shore leave three years ago. We became quite close," he said, keeping the story simple, but not quite revealing how close they got.

Kaidan squeezed his hand. "And by close, he means that the three of us entered into a relationship for a short time.  We stayed friends after Regis and I had to get back to the Alliance."

He could tell his mother knew he wasn't telling her everything by the calculated look in her eye, but she seemed satisfied enough with the response. 

He looked up to see Zaeed's look of surprise, his mismatched eyes wide. "What, you didn't think I would admit it?  I'm not ashamed of what we shared, and it's the damn truth."

"Now I see why you told me I had nothing to worry about," Zaeed muttered, causing his mom to laugh in response.

"We're not scary, just a bit overwhelming, I'm sure.  If you're up to it, we'd be happy to host you as well Zaeed.  We were planning on eating good food, getting drunk on the Alenko reserve, and honoring the memory of a beloved member of our family.  What do you say?" She asked, a welcoming smile on her face. 

"I'd like that a lot," he said. "If you'll have me."

Mom had already accepted him into the family.  Kaidan had a feeling she would, but that didn't mean he was looking forward to whatever conversation they were going to have when they were alone. 

"Of course!  It's just going to be a small thing, you know. Oh, and Kaidan, Adrian is going to be there.  Said he had something for you he wanted to tell you in person."

Zaeed raised an eyebrow, not recognizing the name. Kaidan cleared the air. "Regis's uncle, who also happened to be his father's twin.  Anyway, did he say what it was?  He hasn't said anything to me about it."

They've chatted a few times since Regis's death as one of the few family members Regis was actually close to.  Adrian was Regis's tie to earth and learning about his father from another source, and he cherished that relationship. 

In some ways, he was the hardest person to deliver the news to, barring his mother. 

"Not at all, but it got me curious.  Seemed a bit cagey too. All the more reason to get your asses over here so I can get to know you properly." She grinned. 

"Yes ma'am," Kaidan replied, rubbing his face. "At some point I might be called back for another meeting with the brass, but at least that will be held here in Vancouver."

"It never stops, does it?  I won't keep you long, now that I know you have company.  Take care, sweetie, and get some much-needed rest.  Home is just a call away." She said, waving. Kaidan waved back. 

"It was nice meeting you, Zaeed.  I look forward to getting to know you more!  Take care of my son for me, he needs to stop relying on himself too damn much."

Kaidan protested as Zaeed laughed. "That's what I'm here for. We both need to take care of each other."

"I'm happy to hear it.  See you soon!  I love you, Kaidan."

"See you soon. Love you too, Mom."

She waved once more before ending the call. 

Kaidan felt a little better after talking to his mom, feeling a bit more at peace even during the short talk. Almost always able to cheer him up and unafraid to call him out on his bullshit, his mother was always an easy message away. 

Kaidan cherished the relationship he had with his family, sometimes wishing Regis had a similar one. 

He remembered how out of his element he was when they were still teenagers and not yet in a relationship the first few times he brought Regis by. 

And his family had accepted him immediately, despite knowing the full story at BAaT. 

"I'll be honest," Zaeed admitted, "she wasn't what I was expecting."

"What were you expecting?" Kaidan asked, pressing a kiss onto Zaeed's hand. 

So free with his affection, as that was what Regis always craved. Zaeed seemed to like it as well. 

"Hell, I don't know. More pushback on our whole… thing. Sorry about the marks," he replied, not looking sorry at all. 

Kaidan felt his face heat up again. "Mom's used to my shenanigans with Regis. He could be shameless sometimes."

"I'll behave."

"No, you won't."

"You're probably right." 

"I know I'm right."

"I'll let you win this one."

Kaidan rolled his eyes. "Anyway, what do you want for dinner?  I can arrange a grocery order, or we can order some takeout."

"Just order some goddamn takeout.  I know you're about to pass out on this couch." Zaeed said, loosening his embrace around Kaidan.  Kaidan rose up and sat down next to him, still bundled up in the blanket. 

"Will do."

They still hadn't addressed the video. 

"Even thinking about what Regis said in his video, it's still hard for me to just jump into something new," Kaidan admitted. "I want this, but I can't help but think about Regis nearly every step of the way."

"Shit, Kaid, I'd be worried if you weren't thinking about him. Hell, he keeps popping up in my head too," Zaeed said, his gravelly voice almost going soft. The nickname was new, and Kaidan let it roll around in his head, deciding that he liked it okay enough from him. 

"So, we'll take this one step at a time?" Kaidan said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"One step at a goddamn time," Zaeed echoed, pulling him into a hug. 

"I'd like that," Kaidan whispered. 

His omnitool pinged again. 

"You need to silence that damn thing," Zaeed said, grabbing off the table. Kaidan took it from him, pulling up the message. 

It wasn't from Alliance Command, but he recognized the writing style all the same. 

Lieutenant Alenko,

I hope your shore leave has served you well.  Give me a time you can meet and we'll discuss your future. 

Admiral Shepard has already warned you about this, I'm sure, but this is off the record, for now. 

Times are changing, and I want to be ahead of it. 

Admiral Hackett. 

Kaidan couldn't keep the incredulous expression off his face.  Never in a million years would he have expected an unofficial meeting with the man. 

He assumed from Hannah's warning that it was going to be the official version of the meeting he had with her. 

Not this. 

Zaeed was reading it over his shoulder. "You're welcome to mention me by name. Might throw the old bastard off."

"He's already got me at a disadvantage with this approach."

"Clearly it's something he doesn't want official channels to be completely aware of." Zaeed looked thoughtful, stroking his face and the stubble around his chin. "What kind of relationship would you say he had with Regis?  He's always been a ruthless bastard."

Takes one to know one.  Regis was never afraid to be ruthless.  Nor was Zaeed now that he thought about him. 

"Out of all the higher ups, Regis respected him the most and gave him the least amount of bullshit," Kaidan said, thinking back at all the requests he fulfilled for him.  

"I figured he would be someone Regis would get along with. He was never the type to trust easily."

"No, he wasn't." Kaidan agreed. "Which made gaining his trust and friendship a damn honor sometimes."

"Yeah, I know. Hell, Steven was the same.  What are you going to say to him?"

Kaidan will have to poke at the first name basis thing later. 

"I'll answer and say I can meet tomorrow morning, and let Mom know that I have Alliance business to take care of before we head down."

"Sounds good, but something tells me you should bug Regis's uncle and see what he wants to tell you.  Sounded too important for some reason," Zaeed said, tilting his head to the side. "Can't explain the feeling I have but you know how it is."

"Yeah, I'm well aware."

Kaidan typed up a reply. 

I can meet tomorrow morning.  What time and where?

A reply came in moments later. 

0800.  Meet me in my office. 

Huh. 

"Meeting's secure. Wants me to meet him at HQ," Kaidan said. 

"Technically I met him outside HQ, and we caught up over drinks at a local bar. It got serious after the fact," Zaeed said. "So, I can't help you there."

Kaidan really wanted to know more about that friendship. 

"At least drive me there. Chances are he'll have feelers out and it'll be a surprise," Kaidan laughed, mostly to shake off his nerves about the meeting. 

He didn't think it was going to be anything bad.  Hell, he had a feeling it was going to be about the N path all over again with a dash of Regis. 

But a small part of him has a feeling it was going to be something far more than that. 

And that worried him. 

"Sure. Always happy to be a meddler."

Kaidan looked back down at his omnitool, scrolling through his contacts until he stopped on Adrian's name. "Want to meet another family member?"

He shrugged, settling back down on the couch.  "Might as well."

Kaidan leaned against him and sent Adrian a vid call request.  A few moments later, he answered. 

He appeared on the screen, curly hair pulled into a bun with shaved sides.  Kaidan could see where Regis got his most striking features from.  The dark hair, the pale skin, and the hard-set jaw framed by a beard. 

Regis's smile and eyes were directly from Hannah herself, although he once admitted to Kaidan that he got gene mods to change his eyes to red so he wouldn't have his mother's eyes anymore. 

He had the most striking green eyes back at BAaT. Hell, it was one of the first things he noticed about him.  

The red suits him better.  Suited him better.

"Hey, Kaidan. Aurelia told me about your call. Guess you just couldn't wait to hear me out in person?" He chuckled. 

"Not exactly. I'm meeting with an admiral tomorrow and my partner told me I should go ahead and talk to you," Kaidan explained. "This is Zaeed, an old flame of Regis's and mine. We reconciled."

"As in Massani?" he whistled. "Damn, Regis was holding out on me."

"How did you know that?" Zaeed asked, narrowing his eyes. 

Adrian didn't even blink. "Don't think anything bad of it. My partner, Vikram, knows of you."

Zaeed instantly lightened up. "Good ol' Vikram, how's that old bastard doing?  I guess they're still doctoring in Omega?"

"Yeah, much to my displeasure.  They're in their matriarch years and I kept thinking they would settle down by now, but nope. They've only mentioned you by name a few times, so I recognized it. Don't worry, I've heard mostly good things." Adrian explained. "So, partners, eh?"

Kaidan blushed. "Yeah, uh, we decided to give it a chance."

"I'm happy for you, truly. Regis would've wanted you to move on, and since he's a mutual of yours… I guess that worked out well for you." He sighed, scratching at his beard. "So, I wanted to tell you something Vikram told me.  Vikram has quite a few ties in Omega, mostly because they're a damn good samaritan and people respect them and their services. But also because they have an in with Afterlife, and they hear things."

Kaidan sat up, resting his elbows on his legs and leaning forward. "What does this have to do with me?"

"I'm getting there.  They saw an asari you are quite familiar with, T'Soni, working with a known Shadow Broker agent."

"Fucking risky business," Zaeed spat. 

Kaidan shook his head, rubbing his temples. "Are you one-hundred percent sure?"

Why the hell would T'Soni be working with the Shadow Broker?  Hell, she was as green as a damn recruit fresh out of high school when it came to combat experience. He couldn't deny that she had biotic power, but it lacked the finesse of theirs.  Plus, Kaidan thought she was a bit naive about the world.

Regis argued she had no place on board the ship after they rescued her and got the information they needed.  His request was denied.

"Her markings aren't exactly common, and Vikram is well aware of current events, so I would say yes. Now, they have no idea what their meeting was about, but they told me about it anyway thinking that I could let Regis's crew know," Adrian said, clasping his hands together on the table. "I'll poke their brain again and see if they've learned anything new, but they did tell me they weren't afraid to leverage one of their favors with T'Loak if it meant getting to the bottom of this business."

Zaeed glanced over at Kaidan. "How serious do you think this situation is to warrant using something like that?"

"Regis was never close with her, but I always got the impression T'Soni had a bit of a crush or infatuation on him after our rescue. He shut her down hard as soon as he could when it came to her dealing with his visions," Kaidan explained. "She was never with us long enough to be a part of much of anything."

"Interesting to know. I'll pass it on to Vik and see what they think."

"Thanks, I don't want to be the one to decide something like that. I understand what those favors are," Kaidan said. 

"You would, being in bed with Massani," Adrian chuckled.  When Kaidan didn’t laugh, he held up his hands in surrender. "Sorry, too soon?"

Kaidan waved it off, even if the comment did bother him some. "We met Zaeed while on Omega. You can put two and two together, Adrian."

"I sure can… tell me that story one day over drinks.  Anyway, I won't keep you unless you have more questions?  It's a fucked situation either way, and I don't like it." 

"No, I think I'm good, for now. Let me know immediately when you hear back," Kaidan said. 

“Of course.  Something about this whole thing is giving me a bad feeling, and really, the least I could do is tell you directly to see if you shared similar thoughts.  I won’t keep you.” Adrian said, expression growing serious.  “Take care of Kaidan, you hear me, Massani?  He’s my damn son-in-law in everything but name.”

“I’d rather take another goddamn bullet to the head than hurt him,” Zaeed said sincerely, wrapping an arm around him.  “You have my word.”

Kaidan was sure he was looking at him with such a besotted expression despite everything.

“Good.  I look forward to seeing y’all on the Alenko property.  Be safe out there.” He waved and hung up the vid call.

Kaidan stared at the empty vid-screen, trying to take in everything that he had learned today.  Zaeed and Admiral Hackett had some kind of history.  T’Soni had gotten herself involved with the Shadow Broker, which presented itself as a possible security threat to the Alliance.  Hackett wanted to meet with him personally and in what appeared to be in an unofficial capacity to some extent. 

Regis wanted him to move on so earnestly. 

It was all too much to take in, and he didn’t have enough time or energy to handle everything at once.

Kaidan let out a yawn. "It's been a long day.  And honestly, I don't have much of an appetite." He said, thinking back at their earlier conversation. 

"Well, I'm hungry, and I'm going to order us a couple of pizzas and breadsticks, and you are going to enjoy it with me," Zaeed said with a tone that left no room for an argument. 

"Yes sir," Kaidan replied, enjoying the smirk that formed on his face. 

While Zaeed busied himself with ordering their food off of a suggestion from Kaidan, he took a moment to throw the bedding in the wash, changing it out for some fresh ones.  He also straightened up the guest room, just to have something to do, but he hoped it wouldn't get any use while they were here. 

The food came soon enough, and they settled back down on the couch, eating a few slices each and enjoying each other's company. 

After they were finished, Kaidan cleaned up after them and put the leftovers in the fridge. "I need to get my uniform ready for tomorrow, and then I'm getting some sleep," he said, leaning against the counter. 

"Have you decided what you're going to tell him?" Zaeed asked, leaning on the counter next to him. 

Kaidan shrugged. "I'll let him know that I know you. I'll give him a heads up on the T'Soni situation, and I'll read Hannah into it as well.  We'll see where it goes from there."

"He wants an edge on whatever the hell is going on."

"But he can only do it off the record.  With the new council dismissing any claims contrary to what they claimed happened at the Battle of the Citadel, there isn't much we can do.  Regis believed in the Reaper threat in the end, and after what I saw, I believe it too."

Zaeed shook his head. "Steven seemed to believe it as well if he was willing to tell me about it."

"Regis kept his visions tight-lipped. Hell, he was absolutely furious when Anderson brought them up in the first council hearing about Saren.  But once we saw Sovereign on Virmire, that solidified it for all of us," Kaidan explained. "You've heard the reports.  It, along with the geth, took out the Destiny Ascension with no trouble."

"And the Alliance saved the day.  I have to ask, who made that call knowing the council was on board?"

"Regis did.  Ash and I were by his side when we got the distress call from the Ascension, and the call for the Fifth Fleet. He held back the Alliance fleet so they could focus on Sovereign," Kaidan said. 

“Goddamn.” Zaeed whistled.  “One hell of a choice.”

“He’s had to make too many of those.” Kaidan muttered. 

"Won't disagree with you there." 

Kaidan yawned again, which prompted Zaeed to start heading towards the bedroom.  He followed him and stepped into the bathroom to do his usual nightly rituals. 

But it wasn't the same.  Not without Regis butting in to take over the mirror while Kaidan was in the middle of something or them sharing their favorite moisturizer and skin care products. 

There were even a few of Regis's piercings still inside their case on the bathroom counter.  

After Kaidan was done, leaving Regis’s things where they were for now, he left the bathroom to see Zaeed already stripped down to his boxers.  Zaeed squeezed his shoulder as he moved past him, and Kaidan leaned into the touch.

He took a moment to check his messages before going to bed.

Right at the top was one from Ashley, sent about an hour ago.

ASH: You said you were heading back to Earth, made it safely there?

KAIDAN: Yeah, been here for hours now.  Caught up with an old friend, and I’m going to visit my family later. 

ASH: Glad to hear it, LT.  Say, does that old friend happen to be the same one you and Regis were telling me all about? KAIDAN: Maybe.  What if it is?

ASH: Just want you to be happy.  I mean, I’m not into older men, but I can see why you two were so interested.  I’m sorry to hear that this was how you reunited.

KAIDAN: It’s alright.  We’re dealing.  And well… Zaeed’s different.  It’s been good seeing him again.

ASH: Oh, is he with you right now?

KAIDAN: Maybe… 

ASH: Hope I’m not interrupting anything ;)

KAIDAN: Nah, we’re just getting ready to get some sleep. Guess who has a meeting with Admiral Hackett in the morning.

ASH: Shit… Wonder what that’s going to be all about?  Your N training stuff?

KAIDAN: Probably, and then some.

ASH: Good luck.  Hopefully we can be N training buddies :D but something tells me they have bigger plans for you.

KAIDAN: Of course.  Regis more or less made sure of it with his biotic training plans.

ASH: Still looking out for you even in the afterlife.

KAIDAN: Yeah, I guess he is.  I’m going to finish what he started.

ASH: Good.  Well, I won’t keep you.  Get some sleep.

KAIDAN: I’ll try.

ASH: I guess that’s all I can ask.  Good night!  Don’t be a stranger.

KAIDAN: Night, Ash.  And same to you.  I’m always here.

ASH: And so am I.

“Must be something nice if it’s got you smiling like that,” Zaeed said as he walked into the bedroom.

“Just talking with Ashley.  We’ve been checking up on each other as best we can,” Kaidan replied.

“I’ll need to meet her at some point.  Get to know that soldier Regis was always telling me about.”

“Regis loved her, and you know I don’t say that lightly,” Kaidan said, pulling back the covers. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen him trust someone so easily after you.”

“A high honor, then.” Zaeed crawled into the bed, settling down next to him.  “Where do you want me?”

“Still trying to get me to order you around?”

“You know you love it.”

“Maybe I do.  I appreciate you checking in on me.”

“Of course, no goddamn thanks needed.  Only way we’ll make this work.”

Kaidan nodded.  “Well, if you insist on me putting you somewhere, I want you to hold me.”

Kaidan was almost always the big spoon when he and Regis were together.  Regis loved being held, even despite the small height difference between them.  

Regis enjoyed putting a lot of things in Kaidan’s hands.  Loved relinquishing control to someone he trusted.  Loved stepping down from his role as Commander to just Regis.

“Granted.” Zaeed said, kissing the back of his neck before wrapping arm around him, pulling him in close.  

Kaidan allowed himself to relax in his touch, taking slow, deep breaths, willing his active mind to slow down.

To stop thinking so damn much about Regis.

Kaidan doubted that would ever happen.  Those soft smiles, fierce red eyes… his judgemental attitude and confident aura… his sense of style and love for showing off.

No, Regis would always be with him.  BAaT ensured it.  The Alliance ensured it.

Their damn biotics ensured it.

Now, Kaidan needs to keep his memory safe and remember him as Regis Lucian Shepard.

Because the galaxy will remember him as Commander Shepard, Butcher of Torfan, first Human Spectre, and Savior of the Citadel.

Not as Regis.

[jamalgripperton46290]

A Juicy Big Mac, Please (Ronald McDonald x Kurger Bing)

Jamal Gripperton's Masterlist

A/N (if you haven't already read it go read it now then come back)

"Next!"

Ronald called. That was undeniably the word he had said the most in his life. He slouched behind this very counter every day taking hundreds of customer's orders waiting for the dreadfully slow clock to finally tick to his break or the end of his shift. His life was repetitive, boring, tedious, and basically every negative adjective you could think of, and he couldn't do anything about it. He had no clue how to change this fucked-up lifestyle, but every time he did try, he just couldn't bring himself to. Just the thought of changing an aspect of his life would send a cold shiver of dread down his spine. It was impossible for him to change if it were something big or small. However, after what felt like centuries of overthinking, today was the day that was going to change.

It was finally his lunch break, so he rapidly dashed outside to escape the overwhelming scent of grease, soda, and lingering piss from that damn ball pit, only to be greeted by smell of the sickeningly smokey air and diesel fuel of the gas station the McDonald's he worked at was located. The doors to the next-door Burger King jingled, signaling that he had entered. As the sound of the bell rang through his ears, thoughts of regret ran through his head at a million miles per hour.

I really shouldn't be doing this...

I can handle one more Big Mac before absolutely losing my sanity.... right?

I could just skip lunch and sit outside...?

I should go back

Everything would be great and the same if nothing changed

My life doesn't need to change... just one cheeseburger or happy meal.

No. Nope. Absolutely not. I need to dash back to McDonald's-

A mysterious figure caught his eye. Their hazel eyes looking out the open window taking a long drag of their cigarette, as their chocolate-brown hair flew in the light breeze of the wind. He looked ravishing, devine, scrumptious. Ronald's knees felt weak at the mere sight of him.

As if his body was on autopilot, he started walking towards him. "Hi" Ronald squeaked, a light blush crawling up his cheeks.

"Hi?" the mysterious dude answered, letting out a puff of smoke.

"What's your name?" Ronald managed to ask, although it felt as if he was drowning in the presence of this attractive male.

"My name's Kurger Bing, you?" Kurger replied with a slight smirk.

"Ronald. Ronald McDonald " He sputtered out, his cheeks warming even more.

"Well Ron, what brings you here this fine day?" Kurger inquired, motioning for him to continue.

"It's my first time here, and I was wondering what you'd recommend?" He asked, fiddling with his gloves.

"Whoppers are a must, although, if you'd like something lighter, Chicken Royales are just as great in my opinion" Kurger replied, a with a soft smile showing off his straight pearly whites.

Just before Ronald was going to order, he felt a slight tug on his trousers, and something slip into the back pocket of his pants. He didn't think anything of it and went to get a medium whopper meal with coke but noticed that the guy had left. Dammit.

It had come to the end of Ronald's shift, and as he was walking home, he put his hand in his pocket and felt something. Pulling it out and inspecting it, he realized it was a hand-written note?

'929-556-2746: Call me up, Ron ;) - Kurger '.

A ferocious blush invaded his cheeks stuffing the paper back into his pocket to use later.

Rushing back to his house, he leaped on his couch and punched the numbers into his poor phone screen as if it was the last thing he'd ever do.

"Hello? Who is this?" a deep, husky voice erupted from his mobile device.

"It's me Ron, um, this is Kurger right?" Ronald asked somewhat shyly.

"Yep this is him, the one and only" Kurger replied, his voice lightening significantly.

"Kay... Well I just wanted to ask if you'd be at the Burger King tomorrow so we can chat or something" Ronald suggested nervously.

"I'd love to" Kurger replied, and Ronald could practically hear his smirk though the phone. They talked some more and eventually exchanged shy goodbyes. Hanging up the phone and plugging it in, laying on his bed just thinking.

Did I seem too desperate? Was that too rushed? Should I slow things down? Is he only accepting because he pities me?

Ronalds eyes grew heavy, and his eyes finally shut for the last time that day.

*Next day*

"That'll be 4.85, sir" Ronald lazily informed, while the man rummaged through his bag and pulled out a 5 dollar bill. A couple more insufferable customers later, and it was FINALLY his lunch break. Ronald practically sprinted to Burger King ecstatic to finally see Kurger again.

You met the dude yesterday Ronald, chill.

Unsurprisingly, Kurger was sitting in the exact same spot and smoking a cigarette.

"Well hello Ron, for a second I thought you were gonna ditch me. But then I remembered you were the one who thought about this in the first place, so you're lucky I'm still here." He claimed in his usual deep voice, smugly with his signature smirk.

"I'm here now, so that counts for something, and if you've forgotten, I have a job which means I go to work and I don't sit around smoking all day, unlike you" Ronald replied, biting into his sandwich he packed earlier in the morning.

"Damn Ron, thought you were more on the soft side but okay" Kurger remarked, his smirk growing.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask if you'd like to come to a party which is gonna be held at my crib on Friday" he continued, staring deep into Ron's eyes. In that instant, Ron's mind went blank as he scavenged his brain trying really hard to find a simple response for that simple question.

Say yes you goddamn idiot, fucking say it you cunt.

"Uhh... Y-Yeah I'd love to go- Yes, I'm gonna be there" Ronlad replied sheepishly.

GODDAMMIT RON great job you fuckwad, literally couldn't have done a better job at accepting his invitation.

Shut up inner Ron.

Nah

"Great! Well, here's my address you can come at nine" Kurger informed with a full-blown smirk plastered on his face.

"Okay, um, I gotta go, my break's over, uh, bye." Ronald sputtered out as he stuffed the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth, and scrambled out of the Burger King as quick as he could, his face red and hot with embarassment.

*Fast Forward To Da Partay*

Blaring music and blinding lights invaded Ronald's senses as he stepped into Kurger's "crib". People were dancing, drinking or just talking with one another left and right and Kurger's house was really big, so that's a fuckton of people. Ronald pushed through the groups of people searching for the hazel-eyed brunette in the crowd.

"Hey Ron! Ya made it!" Kurger called from somewhere in the huddle of people.

"Yeah, quite the party you have here" Ronald replied, ogling at him discreetly, but how could he not? Kurger was out here sporting a white, button-down-shirt with all of the buttons undone giving wandering eyes a taste of his chiseled chest. A gold chain hanging from his neck, gathering attention to the tattoos on his neck and upper chest. Black slacks hugged his muscular legs, showing off his mouth-watering physique. But all Ronald was in, was a blue t- shirt and navy jeans which hugged his slim body.

"Wanna get some drinks? I got some fine Whiskey, Wine, Rum, Beer, Vodka. Basically whatever" Kurger suggested with a soft smile.

"Yeah, I'd like that" Ronald replied, heat traveling to his cheeks. Together they strolled towards the stools in front of the bar and ordered drinks. Enough drinks later, and the both of them had that satisfying buzzed feeling coursing through their veins.

"- And then I said to him: 'If your wanna dive in, you gotta go in prepared if you know what I'm sayin'." Kurger cackled, slapping the table, bending over with drunken laughter.

Ronald was just as amused and giddy even though he hadn't had nearly as much drinks as Kurger, because he was -and still is- a lightweight. Time passed by, and the duo drank more and more, to the point all of the nerves Ronald had at the beginning of the party, had vanished. His inner extrovert had knocked down the walls of his awkward and shy exterior. Here Ronald was: shirt off, hair messy, drenched in sweat and alcohol sensually swinging around the random pole in the middle of the room. Moving his hips to the deafening music as he felt eyes on him burning into his skin, he scanned the room to see who it was, and lo and behold, his eyes landed on Kurger.

While staring daggers at Ronald, Kurger had his legs spread across the loveseat, hair messy, shirt covering his impossibly large bulge. His stare was full of pure and animalistic lust, he was practically undressing Ronald with his eyes. Imagining every inch of pale skin that stretched across his body. A low growl escaped from him, as he stood up heading towards Ronald, who had just finished his slutty performance.

"Hey Kurgyyy, did ya like the show?" Ronald slurred, waltzing towards him.

"More than you'll know, Ron." Kurger replied, stepping closer to Ronald with the effects of his drinking altering his system dramatically. "Let's go somewhere more... private" Kurger remarked, slyly taking Ronald's pale and smaller hand in his. The closer they got to the room, the hornier they both got, the more hungry for each other they got.

Finally, they had reached Kurger's bedroom, Ronald softly closed the door behind him. As soon as the click had traveled to their ears Ronald had his hands pinned together to the door and Kurger's lips against his feverishly moving against his own. It felt as if fireworks had been set off on his entire body, especially his lips, it felt as if lights illuminated the once dark abode of Ronald's body.

Their lips danced against each other as if they had performed this very dance before. Hands traveling each other's body, familiarizing themselves with the curves and crevices. Tongues sliding against each other, sucking and invading the others mouth. In no time, the kiss had gone from soft to steamy, their hands becoming more desperate and gropey the dance with their tongues and lips becoming sluttier and more sensual.

Kurger pulled away from the kiss, his plump pink lips were now swollen, but that didn't stop them from attacking Ronlad's neck, licking, sucking, and biting leaving a trail of hickeys in their wake, Kurger looked up, continuing to leave marks and locked his eyes with Ronald's baby blues looking up innocently, but you couldn't say the same for his mouth, as it was already nearing the top of his jeans, while his hands started to unbuckle his belt.

More soft moans and whispers poured out of Ronald's mouth but then Kurger... stopped? In a split-second, Ronald was placed on the plush king bed (Ha, get it?) with Kurger slowly crawling toward him and dragging his trousers down at a frustratingly slow pace while untying his tie, then grabbing his wrists and tying them together over his head, tying him to the bed post. Ron squirmed in impatience, desperate to have him inside already.

"Patience, baby " Kurger mumbled, now pulling down his boxers.

Kurger's lips latched onto the tip of Ronalds chode ferociously sucking and swirling his tongue around his throbbing tip.

Ronald squirmed against the matte black tie letting out the softest whimpers and moans, afraid that someone might hear them. "Let em' out Ronny, no one will hear you up here" Kurger whispered breathlessly, his hot breath sensually tickled his tip when latching his mouth back on. With that, the knot in his stomach had become undone and Ronald's secret sauce had shot deliciously down Kurger's throat.

"Fuck Kurgy, that felt so good" Ronald moaned out still struggling against the restraints.

"Can you untie me now? Please Kurgy, my wrists are really sore" Ronald begged quietly trying to catch his breath. His baby blues gazed at him desperately.

"Not just yet" Kurger whispered seductively.

Now undressing himself slowly and torturously, letting Ronald devour his physique with his glassy eyes. Walking over to his bedside table, Kurger pulled out a blindfold and tied it around Ronalds eyes.

"What?" Ronald murmered confused as to why Kurger had blindfolded him.

That confusion very quickly turned into a lethal mix of pain and pleasure as Kurger plunged all of his un-naturally long and girthy length into Ron.

"Fuck!" Ronald moaned out at the satisfyingly full feeling of Kurgers schlong inside of him.

Picking up the pace, Kurger plowed into Ron with fast and deep thrusts hitting spots Ron didn't even know existed. Slurred curses and loud moans filled the room along with the obscene sound of their skin clapping against each other. They were both in complete ecstasy their lewd sweaty bodies moving against each other in movements that seemed rehearsed.

The familiar knot in his stomachs grew tighter and tighter the closer he got to his release. The grip around his neck tightened, the sounds in the room becoming more loud and explicit. It was pure ecstasy. They were both practically floating to cloud nine.

"I'm so close" Ronald managed to cry out in between moans.

"Not until I tell you to" Kurger groaned into his ear leaving more marks down his neck.

Kurger slowed his pace, deepening his thrusts and drawing out even more loud moans from Ronald. The familiar feeling in his stomach grew the more Kurger fucked him. Ronald grew breathless, a river of whimpers flowed out of him.

"Can I- Fuck- Please Kurgy, I need to" Ron begged.

His eyes closed tightly as he held back. Kurger groaned loudly, his cock twitching in between Ron's soft gummy walls.

"Let go, Ronny" Kurger moaned. Taking off his blindfold and releasing his load deep inside him.

Ron became a moaning mess coming all over Kurger's stomach, writhing from the intense pleasure he just experienced. He lay back on Kurger's pillows while sighing, his eyes fluttering shut. Kurger let out a chuckle, a deep rumble vibrated from deep inside his chest.

"It's not over just yet, baby, oh, we're just getting started." Kurger laughed staring at Ron with malicious, lustful intent.

Kurger reached his arm out to his bedside table, pulling out a ball gag and... nipple clamps? Ron whimpered once again in fear and excitement awaiting what was about to happen, too intimidated to say anything.

"Look at me, Ronny" Kurger whispered tilting his chin up, reinforcing eye contact.

"Our safe word is 'pickles', okay?" Kurger looked at him sincerely his rough side gone but for just a moment.

"Okay..." Ron mumbled, and just like that, Kurger's dominant and merciless self, had resurfaced again.

"Get on all fours" Kurger demanded smirking, watching Ronald struggle for a bit before successfully completing his command.

Kurger pushed a finger into Ron's tight hole, slowly inching it in. He grew impatient, hungry for more of Kurger or his thick, lengthy todger inside of him. He tried pushing his hips back but Kurger's strong grip held him in place.

"Kurgy... please" Ron begged, too breathless to say anything more.

"What do you want Ronny?" Kurger asked smirking, clearly knowing exactly what Ron was begging for.

"Fuck- You know exactly what I want..."

"No, I really don't Ronny, could you clarify?" Kurger grinned, amused at how worked up he could make Ron.

"Goddammit" Ron muttered, growing more desperately frustrated.

"I want you to stick your dick inside me and fuck me Kurger, God!" Ron commanded raising his voice, fed up with being teased.

Kurger's eyes darkened, boring into Ron as if he could see his soul right through him. A shiver ran down Ron's spine as he whimpered scared for what was about to happen. Kurger smirked at Ron, but in a malicious, intimidating way. He pulled his fingers out of Ron's hole. His grip on Ron's waist tightened, a definite bruise would appear there now. Ron felt a sharp sting on his asscheek.

"Don't.

*smack*

Raise.

*smack*

Your.

*smack*

Voice.

*smack*

At.

*smack*

Me."

*double smack*

Kurger growled, before biting on the soft, fleshy skin of his ass.

"Understand?" Kurger said caressing his hands over the two bulbous planets.

Ron moaned, feeling another smack to his ass as Kurger awaited for a response. He nodded his head feebly, unable to say anything. Kurger picked up the ball gag, fastening it around Ron's head and applied the nipple clamps. Giving Ron one last smack to the ass, he plunged in pushing all of his girth into Ron's ring of fat flesh. He slowly pulled out almost all of his length before slamming right back into Ron again. He let out muffled moans struggling against the ball gag as saliva dripped off it. The bed creaked and slammed against the wall joining the other lewd sounds in the room creating a harmonious symphony.

Ron was getting closer to the sweet release he craved for, closer to the edge, just leaning over the precipice that hovered over a couple thousand feet, he was driven closer and closer by the second, just a couple inches away from the deathly drop as he clenched around Kurger's girthy length just about to release his load.

Suddenly, Kurger pulled out completely, just as Ron was about to leap, edging him. He tried to push himself back on Kurger but it was of no use, his iron grip kept him still as he made unintelligible noises of complaint.

"Did you really think I'd let you come after disobeying me, Ronny? This is your punishment and you're gonna be a good boy and fuckin' take it" Kurger growled, leaving no room for him to protest, but it wasn't like Ron could anyway.

Ron stopped writhing and accepted his fate. Kurger grinned, tightening the nipple clamps then slamming into Ron once again. They both groaned at the euphoric feeling. Kurger sped up, his pace gave Ron an ethereal sensation, a tingly feeling spread across every inch and pore of his skin. Muffled sounds of pleasure leaked out of his puffy, pink lips. So many feelings at once, pulled him towards the edge, once again. Kurger kept his pace making sure to lead him to the finish line. Ron inched closer, desperate to feel.

Right before Ron released all the built-up emotions and feelings that stacked on top of each other that evening, bottled up tightly inside of him, Kurger pulled away once again. This time though Ron went slightly limp as his knees gave out on him, he rested his head on the soft, plush pillows, knees weak and head heavy. He was unable to hold himself up the weight of his body and mind too immense. Kurger paused for a moment before gently flipping Ron on his stomach, and as he did, tears welled up in Ron's eyes.

Warm tears spilled out of his eyes and rolled down his red, hot face. Ron couldn't help it, he was too overwhelmed and overstimulated, but he still tried his best to keep it together. This was his punishment, and he was determined to take it, desperate to feel good and to feel Kurger in any way possible. He was going to wait it out until he was deemed forgiven and driven towards the edge again.

Kurger was about to call it a night, afraid he'd taken it too far before he realised what it was that he was silently asking, begging him for. Kurger smirked before gently taking off the ball gag that was drenched in his slimy, warm saliva and removing the nipple clamps that imprisoned his rosy buds which were now a blazing red that seemingly glowed in the dim, dark lightning of the room. He placed both items on the bedside table.

"You want me so bad, don't you Ronny? You just love my fat, thick cock penetrating through your plush and warm walls, don't you?" Kurger slightly groaned out in a sultry and seductive voice as he pressed soft, sloppy and wet kisses all over his face and neck.

"Mhm~" Ron moaned as he slightly arched his back, whimpers trailing out of his mouth. He pressed more kisses over his chest and thighs.

"You love my touch, hmm~?" Kurger whispered as his lips inched closer to Ron's nether regions.

"Mhm" Ron whined, desperate for him to latch his warm lips around his width, bobbing his head up and down. Ron watched him with hooded eyes, orbs filled with lust and hunger.

Kurger smirked, licking up the prominent vein of his cock to the tip, taking it into his mouth his soft, plump lips sliding up and down his length.

Ron moaned out, his eyes shut tight in pleasure. Kurger gripped his hips pulling him closer, his head and back now flush against the mattress. Kurger spread Ron's legs as far as they could go. He bobbed his head up and down, dragging his spit down Ron's length then pushed two digits into his plush, warm hole pumping them rapidly. He bucked his hips in delight, pleasure radiating off his sweaty, rosy body. Kurger sped up, his bobbing and pumping becoming more and more frantic as more slurred words of praise and pleasure slipped off of Ron's tongue.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head in pleasure then shut tight as he got closer to the looming edge. The precipice that would leading him to the heavenly feelings that would make him feel on top of the world. Obscenities leaked out of his mouth, words and phrases that if he said outside of the hot and steamy room they were in- the room they've spent for what felt like forever- would get him weird or offended looks, it would make parents cover their children's ears to not make them think its okay to say such lewd and unholy things. Ron was practically on heaven, his cock twitched repeatedly in Kurger's mouth, his walls tightened around his thick, long fingers.

"Don't stop~" Ron managed to choke out between the groans and whimpers bubbling out of his mouth, desperate for his release.

Ron finally got to release his load which shot down Kurgers throat. A wave of ethereal pleasure washed over him, euphoria coursed through his veins which caused pins and pricks of relief tickling over his skin. At the same time, that most earth-shattering, soul splitting, mind-blowing orgasm hit him like a truck and sprinkled pleasure all over his body. Ron was in heaven and he finally got to let go.He rode out his orgasm and Kurger made sure to stretch it out for as long as he could as Ron squirmed and whimpered under his touch.

He then soon pulled his fingers out of his ring of muscle, taking his mouth away from Ron's todger with a small pop.

Ron lay breathless on the bed, the sweat beads that lingered on his skin rolled down on the sweaty and liquid-damp sheets. Both their hair was messy and damp, face, skin red and hot. Ron's eyes were shut as he grasped on the lasting sensations of the best orgasm he's ever had and the hardest he's ever cum. Kurger layed next to him as the room started to cool down, pulling their bare bodies close together, settling the covers over both of them. Ron snuggled up to him, the activities over the night and the energy it stripped from both of them getting to them, eyes heavy, breathing slowed, head on chest. It was the perfect ending to an even more perfect night.

They silently held eachother just soaking eachothers presence. The past moments replayed in both of their minds, the euphoric pleasure, the heat of the moment, the love, the chemistry they have lingered on their minds and sleep slowly overtook them both.

Maybe changing from time to time isn't all that bad.

....

A/N

God DAMN. That was 100% the longest we've took to write a chapter and the longest chapter we've written too. I cannot tell you how many times I've gotten writers block while writing this or how many times I've wrote and re-written like the first half of the fic but overall very worth the end results. This chapter was written solely by Jamal Gripperton but the grammar, spelling, edits and shit was all Beezy Bee. However, we cannot express the gratitude we have towards our readers. Thank you all for reading (especially the people who read the authors notes🤌✝️🙏) Not to forget, but October and Christmas are both cummin round the corner soo.... get ready for the absurd things we have planned. Also we might not post as much till then but we'll try.

-Jamal Gripperton and Beezy Bee <3

[misterroo2000]

Let's talk about food

It all started with bread. I was a normal kid up until that point, and photographic evidence exists that shows me eating it. I don't know the date of the event, or what triggered it, but I knew that I no longer liked the stuff.

Over the years, it went from "no longer like" to "really don't like" to "can't stand it" to "don't want to be near it" to "OMG it touched me". What is it about this seemingly simple substance that is so foul, that the mere thought of it can make me lose my otherwise substantial appetite? Good question, let's explore it.

We're never going to be able to go back to the 70's and witness the event, so let's stay in the present and figure out what's going on here. Let's suppose there is a regular old piece of white bread on a counter. Let me also interject for a moment and say that this medium is perfect for this analysis, because the number of times I have to stop typing and suppress the gag reflex is hidden from my readers. Back to the counter. The bread is sitting there. Maybe you just put it there, because I sure as hell didn't. You know what? It's already starting to leave it's mark on the counter - crumbs, condensation, quasi-liquid ingredients from the food itself? If you pick it up, you'll see its mark. You know what else is going on there? It's starting to mold. I don't know how old it is. "But I just bought it" nah, there's no chain of custody here. "There's a date on the bag" You trust that? You know how many times I see dates on things from the future? We've already established we can't time travel, so let's agree we don't know old this stuff is. Even if it came right from the factory, this stuff is programmed to mold. It's just a matter of time. What is going on at the molecular level? Maybe I was sleeping that day in science class, but do we know if this mold disease is contagious? Do we know for certain that by touching it, we will be immune to becoming mold ourselves? I know life is about risks, but why not just let it sit there and heat up some dino nuggs for lunch instead? What you see is what you get there.

"But who can deny the joy of smelling fresh bread?" ME, that's who. We all know that smells are just airborne particles of what you're smelling. That means bread is airborne. Touching it is out of the question, and you think I'm going to invite it into my nose and lungs? Might as well just eat it at that point. You are what you eat and I don’t want to be this garbage.

So now we know we can't touch it and can't smell it. Your nose and taste buds are linked, so right away we've dismissed three of the five senses. Let's call it cosmic fate that this nasty stuff doesn't emit sounds, because I might have to find another universe to live in if that were the case. It's bad enough that I agreed to look at it a couple of paragraphs above, but at least one of my five senses are spared the agony of moldy apocalypse.

Something as inherently evil as this doesn't leave itself alone, and I'm afraid it is a gateway food. Before we explore the offshoots, let's look at the rules of engagement for dealing with this yeast-beast that's here to stay. I'm putting these rules in first person form just because I choose to live bread-free doesn't mean I expect everyone to.

Obviously I can't touch it, that's easy.

Going back to the counter scenario, any surface that has directly contacted the material is now contaminated. Moving it elsewhere does not cure the original spot of contamination. It must be cleaned thoroughly by any chemical means necessary.

Any object or body part that touches it is also contaminated. Do not expect me to shake your hand if you've been holding a $5 Super Arby's Whopper Mac Deluxe. Use some 200% alcohol hand sanitizer first and gargle some mouthwash, please.

If the bread was spawned from a factory, then the bag it comes in is safe as long as it factory sealed. Machines do not make mistakes and ensure the contagions are kept within the plastic.

If the bread comes from a bakery and placed in a bag by a non-robot, then the bag is irradiated and not to be touched or handled.

The only correct way to handle such a bag, like if someone is foolish enough to give me a shopping list with this grossness on it, is to use a disposable item to serve as a germ barrier to lift, yeet or otherwise transfer to the shopping cart and transport bag.

Food items that touch bread are no longer food. "Just take the burger off the bun and eat it." Basically the same logic as "So what if there were 50 flies on your burrito, they didn't eat much and left you plenty." Nope with a capital ope.

Okay, we've beaten bread to death. Let's look at its relatives.

Buns, biscuits, rolls - no matter how you slice it, it's bread in disguise.

Butter - Bread and butter, they're practically brothers. Butter is okay as long as it is hidden as an ingredient, and ignorance is bliss.

Ketchup - This is a horrible thing to do to an innocent tomato, and it makes sense that it can go to the electric chair with bread.

Peanut butter, jelly - Also horrible things to do to perfectly good natural items and turn them into abominations. Enjoy the underworld along with the rest of this list.

Let's take a summary break to see where we're at. All these things are definitively gross:

Hamburgers

Hot dogs

Sliders

PB&J

Any kind of sandwich

Croutons - come on, who are you fooling here?

French toast (admittedly, it took me several years after the original awakening to realize this, and I'm not afraid to admit my mistakes)

French bread pizza - what a joke, knock this off immediately

I'm not a monster and I have exceptions, because of reasons.

Pizza - "But it's bread" - No it is not. If it were, it would be called Pepperoni Cheese Pizza Sauce Sandwich, but it's not is it?

Donuts - These are fried, and frankly adorable. I'll never hate you, donut.

Cinnamon rolls - I do not want to know how close these are to actual rolls, and over the decades I managed to keep this one filed under plausible deniability. I'm probably lucky no one has spilled the beans here, and don't let yourself become the one to take this from me.

Pancakes and waffles. I've made these before, and they are perfectly innocent. To put these in the same category is bread is an assault on logic.

There is something about the word bread. I know corn bread exists, but I also know you can tell the Cracker Barrel server to bring out corn muffins and that's what they bring. Bread does not come in muffin form.

Someone seriously proposed : "So if I brought you a sandwich and called it Bobby Pasta, would you eat it?" Look, Steve, I know this whole thing may seem weird to you, but look who just made up a new food called Bobby Pasta. I can suspend disbelief to a point, but let's stay in the realm of reason.

So those are the severe food issues. Let's cover the rest of things and I'll let you get back to your day or evening.

Fish - I remember eating fish as a kid and being told to "chew it thoroughly, there could be bones in there". AND THERE WERE. Bendable little needle bones that would probably shred my digestive system into hamburger meat. Which, I must say, is preferable to eating any of the things in the bulleted list above. I've tried fish, but mostly just don't like it. I can touch it and it does not have all of the nasty mold spore qualities, so once elected Supreme Chancellor, I will allow this to continue to exist as food. This includes lobster, shrimp and sushi. I really don't know who decided to eat things from the fish tank, but hey I have stuffed animals I keep by the bed so let's not judge.

Foods with hidden ingredients. I don't mean things like butter. I mean like jelly donuts. WTF? "Hey let's make a treat but let's hide something in it that squirts out when you bite in it, wouldn't that be great?" I don't know about you, but I like my food NOT to bleed red goo when I have at it. If you want jelly on your donut, be honest and put it on the outside. Don't be hiding it and think you deserve to win a cooking contest. "Don't you eat Ding-Dongs?" Sorry Pam, there's a picture of what's happening right on the box. If you don't read it, there's not much I can do to help. Jelly donuts can't say that. For the record, this includes Cassata cake

Fig newtons - I don't know what pervert classified these as cookies, but these should be banned by the Geneva Convention. "Who wants Fig Newtons??" NO ONE CHERYL, THROW THEM AWAY OUT BACK WHERE WE CAN'T SMELL THEM.

Cheese - this is weird. It is perfectly okay on pizza in moderation, but it's hard to handle in most other settings. Like lasagna. Anyone ever say, "Oh you can hardly even taste it." Oh yeah??? Well then why is it in there? Can't even be honest about the cheese, how will I believe anything you say ever again?

Eggs - I don't even know what these are. I realize they are a critical ingredient for important things, but I don't see anyone eating flour out of a bag so why people eat eggs is a mystery to me. I will not be offended by your egg-eating as long as you don't brag about how runny that yellow liquid is and how good it tastes.

Ham - I eat this, but it's clearly the weakest of the meats. What makes ham not a pork chop? That is a rhetorical question because I do not want to risk losing pork chops to this list.

Let's end on a high note. I've obviously well-fed, so how did this come to be?

Maraschino cherries - the most perfect substance on Earth. So is the juice. Top of the list every time.

Pasta - What an awesome thing this is. Just bland little sticks that become the ultimate edible toy. You slurp them, throw them, put a lot of sauce, a little sauce, it doesn't matter. It comes in all shapes and sizes, because why not. There must be a whole science to knowing the names for all the shapes.

Rice - It's like they took the little sticks and chopped them up into 1cm line segments. Great as a side, and fantastic as a breakfast item with milk and sugar.

Normal meat - steak, pork, chicken, venison. Can't go wrong with any of these. Just don't try to pickle it or do anything weird like pot it.

Mexican food. Leave off the cheese and I can eat just about anything on a Mexican restaurant menu. Tortillas are amazing, too. They're edible napkins, and who doesn't want that? You can fill them with anything.

Chinese food. I love how there's nothing with cheese on a Chinese food menu. Except for the fish, I can eat just about anything here. I would come back from a trip to China much larger for sure.

I think that's about it. Good talk, I hope you got to know me a little better and if you ever invite me over for a meal, think of all the awkward conversations we can now avoid!

[serenity-bitty]

THIS IS A MOMENTOUS OCCASION HOLY SHIT.

Okay. As an autistic person, I have had texture issues my ENTIRE LIFE. And I have mourned for so many foods that TASTE and SMELL absolutely fantastic, but my body refused to swallow. Mourned. Grieved these foods. I can't eat mashed potatoes, I can't eat applesauce, I can't even have a French fry too thick because the texture of mashed potato happens inside the fries.

And I certainly can't eat ground meat.

That's right. Be it beef, chicken, turkey or any other meat, I cannot eat ground meat. No sloppy joes, no hamburger, cheeseburger, big Mac, whopper. NONE OF IT.

Barbeques and cookouts are a special kind of hell for me, to say the least.

And don't get me wrong, sometimes there are moments that give me a small sliver of hope.

On rare occasion, I will outgrow my issues with one type of texture.

I couldn't stand avocados until I was 25 years old. But now? I LOVE them.

After so many years, though, I had given up hoping.

But tonight.

Tonight I was blessed.

My roommate, Maddie, has a good amount of money. Not like rich, but enough to be considered stable and she has the help of her family as well. She can afford nice things.

And one of those nice things was a package of on-sale wagyu ground beef.

And if you don't know what that is, come back to this post after you've gone down a YouTube/Googling rabbit hole about it, and you will understand.

Even if it is discounted, frozen grocery store brand beef, you do NOT disrespect the fucking wagyu. Don't even risk it.

So my roommate is lying on the couch and she isn't feeling well, there's a shortage of her blood pressure medication, so she's having a bit of trouble doing things.

So she asks me to do her a favor and check if the meat she was gonna cook was defrosted yet.

I checked, it was upside down in the bowl, and it was defrosted, but when I turned the package around to see what it was (plastic was too foggy to see) I nearly screamed.

"YOU GOT FUCKING WAGYU BEEF!?!?! HOW MUCH DID THIS COST YOU?!?!"

She seemed a little sheepish for a second, and I kinda felt bad for blurting that out, so I quickly moved on to offering to help her cook it. Because I can't eat ground beef, however, I never really cooked a burger before, so she has to teach me a bit.

I helped her off the couch and we decided it would be less labor-intensive on Maddie if we broiled it in the air fryer.

So she seasoned it and got it started, splitting it up into two halves. I cut up the ingredients and put away the other half of the meat while the patty cooked and she rested in the office. She didn't even ask me to do all of those things, I just did it to help. I flipped it and double checked with her to make sure it was properly cooked.

It came out medium.

I was honestly excited to see her try it, like it is NOT every day you get to see this kind of delicacy.

I'm so broke even seeing someone eat fancy food is an event for me 🙃

(but in my defense, I was pretty fucken high when this happened.)

Anyway, so she eats it and I'm asking her how it is, give us the juicy (pun intended) DEETS.

And she is thorough in her description. And even MY mouth starts to wonder at the thought of tasting it.

And then. I had a thought.

If she lets me try a bite, I can do a bit of an experiment.

If even the texture of a WAGYU. FUCKING. BURGER. Makes me gag.

I would give up on ever enjoying the texture of a burger.

But if not, ohohoho.... I would never stop searching, never stop struggling, never stop trying to find a burger with a texture and budget I could stand.

So I start to work up the courage to ask if I could try a bite.

But she actually offered it to me before I could even get the chance!

I explained what I was thinking to her, and she was a bit interested in my little experiment.

So she hands me the burger.

It's on a bakery bun, with Mediterranean Cheddar (FANCY AS FUCK BOII), Whataburger ketchup, mustard, and some good ole Texas Pickles.

I let the smell hit my nose, and almost audibly gulped.

I took the bite.

Oh. My. God.

It was the best damn thing I'd ever eaten, let alone the first burger I could ever truly enjoy. Holy hell.

I felt like Squidward after his first Krabby Patty.

I had to break into a vault. I needed more. I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes out of both pure joy and deep despair.

I wasn't about to eat more than the one bite I was given. That would be incredibly rude and also just plain mean.

I handed it back to her, desperately hiding my urge to eat it.

I don't know if she noticed, or if she's literally just that fucking nice (and believe me she has shown me nothing but kindness) but she literally offered me the other half of the meat to make my own burger.

I could have cried.

"A-are you sure?"

"Yes, my mom gets me this kind of stuff all the time! Go ahead!"

Bruh.

Avocado, bakery bun, onions, ketchup, and that Mediterranean Cheddar.

Hooo boy. The only thing that would have made this better would be if I had toasted the bun.

Even the grease tasted good. THE. GREASE. Autistic people and grease don't exactly tend to mix!!!! And usually, I don't like too much grease. But this was amazing, an explosion of grease mingling in with the juice of the meat. And the way it interacted with the toppings and the bun.... Oh fuck.

I now understand what Gabriel Iglesias meant when he talked about food. I sounded like I was making love to that burger, and I didn't care.

I may as well have been a judge in shokugeki no soma.

It was glorious. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth. I could die happy.

Also it makes me more like Sans Undertale and that makes me happy.

[chaotic-super]

False Memories

Prompt: Based on something I saw on twitter about Kara losing her memory and assuming that Lena and her must have gotten together because of the way Lena treats her.

Is she underwater? Kara isn’t sure.

All of her senses are blocked, like she has cotton wool stiffed into her ears, nose, mouth, everything. Even the prospect of trying to move seems impossible, a distant lingering desire that is unattainable.

The first of her senses to clear is her sense of smell. Whatever scent is invading her nostrils, it needs to stop it because it makes her need to flinch away and to squeeze her nostrils shut with a pincer grip of her forefinger and her thumb. It’s awful, maybe a mix of bleach and some other citrus wannabe.

It’s familiar in a way she can’t place. In her mind, she can reach out and find the answer but with every inch her fingertips gain, the answer is tugged away from her, just out of reach.

Then, her eardrums are assaulted by a rhythmic beeping that cuts right through her forehead and blossoms into a cloud of raw pain. She’s had headaches before, but this is an absolute whopper that has no signs of dissipating any time soon.

With a lot of effort and force, she manages to open her eyes the tiniest amount and immediately regrets it when she is blinded by an obnoxiously bright light. Her beautiful blue eyes combat the bright attacker for a second before admitting defeat.

The movement has gained the attention of someone sitting vigilantly at her bedside. Kara can tell because the scrape of the chair against the floor cuts through the room sharply and her name is echoed out. It hurts but she just doesn’t have it in her to care.

“Kara!” She recognises that voice. Alex.

She tries to open her eyes again and this time, Alex’s form looming over her bedside blocks the light from blinding her. It takes a moment, but she can see the relief in Alex’s eyes before anything else.

“Can you hear me? Kara?” It clicks in her head that Alex has been talking to her when her brow furrows deeply and worry lines spread across her face like a wildfire.

Kara turns her head to the side with the grace of a new born giraffe and groans. “Uhhh.”

“Good afternoon, sunshine.” Alex is willing to take that as a sign of life. Hell, it is more than she used to get when they were teenagers and Eliza tasked her with waking Kara up for school.

Her eyelids are peeled open with practiced hands and a little torch shone right into her poor, exposed eyeballs. That gives Kara the strength she needs to lift an arm so she can push Alex away from her. “Stop.”

To Read 'False Memories' early click here!

[grantmeawish]

So I met a girl...

And she's kind of crazy...

She eats everything and anything without complaining.

She loves to laugh.

She always puts your happiness before hers.

She likes hugs.

She loves Disney movies.

She always needs an ice coffee.

She blushes when you compliment her.

She is strong and independent.

She loves to eat.

She can speak multiple languages.

She is the least pickiest person I've ever met.

She doesn't like scary movies, but she'll watch them with you.

She is fiercely loyal to her friends and family.

She can't drive yet, but she's taking lessons.

She loves costco.

She can eat double whoppers and double quarter pounders.

She likes to watch The Big Bang Theory.

She is into great music.

She makes the cutest facial expressions when she's slightly upset.

She loves mcdonald's french fries.

She looks great in dress shirts.

She knows how to bake.

She loves to travel.

She hates injustice.

She loves dogs!

She is willing to try anything at least once.

She is a great listener.

She loves to eat.

She is willing to watch livestreams.

She likes games and anime.

She loves romantic comedies.

She uses an iphone.

She has a mac... even if it is kind of old.

She wears these Korean grandma pants.

She gets kinda sweaty.

She often smells like citrus.

She knows what she likes.

She loves to have dinners with friends.

She eats and loves white chocolate.

She likes bbq potato chips.

She is willing to move to another state.

She's kind of funny.

She gets me.

She's beautiful, pretty, cute, and stunning.

But most of all, she loves this strange me... sometimes I don't get it. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve her. Sometimes I wish I could have met her earlier in life, so that she doesn't feel I'm rushing her into marriage. When really, I just love her so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with her... even if it's just one more day.

So what DO I like about her?

Easy... everything.