#i can write at a much higher caliber

[pinnithin-writes]

i need to get my ass in another fiction workshop course next semester so im pressured to write something actually interesting

[no1frogfan]

Desire lines, part 1

Kuroo x afab reader

Series synopsis: Against his wishes, Kuroo must hire a personal assistant. You’re not exactly the right person for the job, but it’s a job, and you need the money. Inspired by Robert Macfarlane’s definition of desire lines in landscapes: “paths and tracks made over time by the wishes and feet of walkers, especially those paths that run contrary to design or planning.”

Chapter word count: ~1.4k

Chapter tags & warnings: some sexually suggestive language

Note: Since I’m throwing all my half-baked series ideas out there, here’s another one. I’ve literally already written 25k for this series but I’m completely dissatisfied with most of it. So fly free, dumb little thing, and bring me back some better ways of progressing this story. Side note: small celebration for this, my 20th piece of writing posted to tumblr! It’s especially fitting since this is the first series I attempted to write when I started this blog 5 months ago, and because Kei & Tetsu are my deepest, truest loves

Series masterlist part 2

1. Best-laid plans

“I don’t want to hear any more excuses, Kuroo. You will do it, and that’s final.” Nishida states forcefully, turning his attention back to the papers in front of him. A clear sign that the conversation is over.

“Yes sir, Nishida-san.” Kuroo bows stiffly as he backs out the door.

In the privacy of his own office, Kuroo collapses behind his desk with a string of quiet curses.

Being a director comes with a lot of perks. The promotional game he’d organized a few years ago had turned out to be a massive success, reinvigorating volleyball in Japan and bringing in scores of new fans. On the back of that and a few other creative and well-executed events, he finally landed that sought-after position 3 months ago — Director of the Sports Promotion Division at the Japan Volleyball Association.

At the age of 30, he’s the youngest director in the organization.

He’d earned it with the best pitch he’s ever made — a long-term partnership with FIVB, the Fédération Internationale de Volleyball, to train and support coaches and referees throughout Japan. “This partnership will require intensive investment of our time and existing resources, but the payoff will be exponentially greater. Think about how much of an impact this could have on our organization locally, nationally, and globally. On the local level, we’ll be able to improve and expand the existing leagues by increasing the caliber of current coaches and training new coaches who can build new teams and bring more young talent into the sport. On the national level, a higher quality of gameplay means more exciting games, more news coverage, and a higher profile for the sport as a whole, allowing the JVA to further build upon on the momentum of growing fan interest across Japan. Finally, on the international level, the partnership with the premier international volleyball organization would increase the visibility of the JVA and of Japan as a volleyball powerhouse around the world.” By the end of his spiel, Nishida and the other executives were practically eating out of the palm of his hand.

As Director, Kuroo’s life is not bad at all. He gets to design more impactful projects. He gets his own corner office on the 38th floor with a stunning view overlooking the city. Plus, he received a substantial raise, though he barely has time to spend any of that money. The one thing he did splurge on was a larger apartment in Kagurazaka, an eccentric neighborhood he’d always wanted to live in. The new place is closer to his grandparents and to Kenma too, not that he’s been able to squeeze in more than one brief visit a month over the past year.

Yes, there are certainly a lot of upsides to being Director. But there are a lot of downsides too.

There’s so much more administration than he ever imagined. Most of his time each week is spent in tedious managerial meetings when he'd much rather be running around, boots on the ground, meeting players and making deals. The paperwork, the departmental politicking, the boring pleasantries, the late hours almost every night… It’s all worth it to make his dream a reality, but it’s taking a toll. Even Kenma of all people chided him about it.

The thing is, getting the promotion was only the first big hurdle he had to clear on the way to his goal of expanding volleyball and truly lowering the net. He’s been working toward this FIVB partnership for almost a year now, and he’ll be reaching his second big hurdle in one month when representatives from FIVB will be visiting the JVA for the first time to officially begin talks on the details of the project.

Or at least, he thought that was his second big hurdle, but now it seems like Nishida-san has thrown a new one in front of him: find an assistant, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Kuroo tried his best to fight it. He really doesn’t need a babysitter. As long as he gets his work done and goes to his meetings, if he wants to leave early on a whim, he can do it, and he if wants to take a long lunch, he can do that too… And if Satoko needs to “double check the numbers” on the accounting sheets, or Aya wants to “talk over potential new hires,” well, nobody is the wiser. (Sure, maybe the stress is getting to him more than he wants to admit, and sure, maybe he’s not dealing with it in the best way, but he’s got needs too and this works out for everyone involved.) So why would he willingly give up that freedom and flexibility to have someone constantly watching over his shoulder, micromanaging his schedule, and reporting his whereabouts to everyone?

But that’s obviously not what he told Nishida. He informed Nishida he simply doesn’t need an assistant. That he’s handling things very well on his own and is perfectly capable of continuing to do so. Plus, think of how much money it would save the company to not have to pay an additional salary!

Unfortunately, his unfailing charisma finally failed him.

See, Nishida was concerned about optics, especially for their meetings with FIVB. How would it look to the FIVB representatives if the Director of Sports Promotion at JVA had to make his own coffee? Take his own notes? Schedule his own flights? “We can’t have one of our directors hashing out a meeting schedule with one of their interns! It would look like we’re not a serious organization. It would look like we lack the capital and leverage to hold up our end of any cooperative agreements. Listen, Kuroo, this isn’t just about what you want. It’s about the impression our entire organization makes when we negotiate with other entities.”

Nishida laid down the law: Be a team player. Find a personal assistant within two weeks or Nishida would find one for him.

So, right now, Kuroo is unquestionably more focused on the downsides of his position.

The conversation with Nishida plays over and over again in his head as he tries to figure a way out of this mess. Naturally, he dials his first port of call whenever he’s in trouble.

“Oi, I’ve got a problem.” Kuroo starts as soon as the ringing stops.

“What is it now, Kuro?” Kenma responds curtly, yells and bangs from whatever game he’s playing popping off in the background.

“It’s serious!”

“You say that every time.”

“Well it’s really serious this time.”

“Must be if you’re calling me.”

Kuroo’s voice softens. “Sorry I’ve been MIA. The prep for this FIVB meeting has been kicking my ass.”

“Good.”

“I really do need your help though.”

The game sounds stop. Kuroo knows it means fine, I’m listening.

He explains the situation with a sigh, equal parts frustrated and exhausted, “— and now I have to hire a personal assistant even though I don’t need or want one.”

The other end of the line remains silent as Kenma carefully considers the options.

Finally, landing on, “Why don’t you just hire someone?”

“Oi—” Kuroo yowls, “Were you listening? I said I don’t want an assistant!”

Kenma’s eye roll is almost audible. “I know that, but you still have to hire someone, right? Otherwise you’ll be stuck with whoever Nishida hires.”

“…Right…”

“Right. So take the initiative and hire someone. And then just have them do nothing.”

It’s Kuroo’s turn to be silent now.

“Hello?”

“I’m here.” Kuroo replies slowly, trying to decipher the plan. “What do you mean have them do nothing?”

“Exactly what it sounds like.” The sounds of his game start up again. “Whoever you hire will probably have to take notes at your meetings and do a bit of administrative work just to keep up appearances with Nishida and the others at the office, but then the rest of the time is theirs…as long as it looks like they’re working. It’s a win-win. You get to do keep doing what you’re doing and they get paid a full salary to do whatever they want.”

A sly cackle erupts from Kuroo, “As expected, another brilliant strategy from the Brain! But where am I going to find someone like that…”

[progmetol]

A redo of Tactician’s ref!! Good lord I didn’t realize how badly the old one needed an update until I did this.

This is actually just page 1. Page 2 is going to include all her weapons and is more of just me nerding out about guns but ya’know.

I had wrote a bunch of stuff about details while sleep deprived so it may not make complete sense but I’ll include it under the cut. My autism inhibitors basically completely disabled here so it gets very detailed in some parts but I figured, might as well include it if I took the time to write it up.

So I changed her primary revolver from the diamondback to the stock revolver because I’ve previously established that Tact is more into historical guns rather than modern ones (she loves both though). The diamondback looked a little too modern and didn’t make as much sense since it mechanically only benefits a spy and the reason I had before was dumb so. Stock revolver. Plus a lot of classes share stock weapons anyway.

She also has another revolver that is basically a custom ruger vaquero chambered in .44 (think cowboy big iron gun). Engineer modded it for her and gave it to her as a Christmas present. So she gets that thing at some point. The drawback to it being a higher caliber is that it’s a single loader meaning the cylinder doesn’t swing out and you can’t use a speed loader because of that. Which irl there are plenty of .44 magnums that have swing cylinders but this is a game logic moment. She also has some other guns, including a scoped magnum, a basic ass M1911 that she keeps concealed under her belt, a derringer like Pauling’s concealed in her right boot, and then a lot of other random weapons that I could nerd out about but I’ll save that talk for never since I’ve already dropped enough stupid gun lore (though I will say I gave her an anti materiel rifle because I thought it would be funny). She also has a ton of combat knives but I haven’t thought them out yet other than the main one on her boot. It’s a serrated (warcrime irl!) bowie knife, the holster is kind of lose and can rotate a lot based on gravity so it can be drawn very leniently.

Her belt can hold 24 rounds at once, so that’s 24+6=30 at a time for 90% of the revolvers she has. She doesn’t typically need spare ammo when doing everyday work coordinating the battlefield, in fact it’s rare she even needs to shoot something other than while practicing or demonstrating to another merc.

her headset is wireless but she also has a radio that she uses instead during solo work. The headset is mostly for announcing crap and screaming orders at people in the thick of battle. Basically which one she’s using is entirely contextual

As for her field kit, she wears a jacket + a little neck bandana mostly to prevent dust, gravel, sand from getting in, desert stuff. It can also get chilly at night so it’s nice to have. She’s very used to the heat and doesn’t usually break a sweat when walking around with a jacket in the heat. She has a harness as well that basically has any and all the extra crap she may need on a job, extra rounds, identification, extra glasses, snacks, things you’d keep in a purse or gun bag (similar I know /s). Her holster goes over it. She also has a small messenger bag that she keeps larger stuff in, and then has her contracker on the back left side of her belt for easy access (same place as normal uniform). She usually clips the mic for her radio to the messenger bag and her jacket at once to keep it in place. The radio, btw, is a copy of the cosmetic for engineer since I wanted to keep it consistent.

[psychicbergara]

Genuine answer about the overproduced shows question - It's not that fans were unhappy with how the shows were produced before the announcement, in fact most people were very happy with it! But, Watcher announced exactly how expensive this production is and how, in order to fund that production, they need to move to watcher.tv; this immediately creates backlash from these same fans who WERE happy with the production of the shows, but it still wasn't and will not be the REASON these shows do so well. People love Watcher because of the dynamics, the educational content, the clever writing, banter... The incredible production was just a beautiful bonus which ultimately means more to the creator than the consumer, given the kind of audience Watcher has curated on YouTube (mostly youngsters, students, young adults looking for comfort content from their favorite Internet personalities; people who consume their content with varying degrees of dedication and regularity. We can assume that these people can get TV-caliber content from, well, TV, when that's what they want to watch.)

It seems kind of weird to say that people don't deserve to be upset about paying for high-quality TV caliber content to be produced. Those very same people, that very same audience, didn't connect with Watcher because of its production quality in the first place. So people will be upset about having to fund something they don't consider a fundamental part of enjoying a Watcher video. People will want them to cut down on production costs instead of making them pay for something they don't necessarily want.

This is, of course, incredibly one-sided. Watcher feel proud of producing such high-quality and expensive products and I'm absolutely sure it fulfills them creatively. They want to make the best product they can. That's admirable and it should be commended. But it costs so much money, money that they do not have anymore. And there is now a disconnect between the audience's needs and wants, and their own, neither of which are wrong but they are simply not compatible. They cannot expect people to want to pay for their upward climb toward higher and higher-quality content. That's not what their fans see in Watcher and its future. It's a pretty sad situation.

hi anon! thank you for the genuine answer.

while i totally understand, and people have every right to be upset (you may not be talking abt me, and just in general, but to clarify- i have never said it's weird that people are upset. it's weird that people are attacking them, but not being upset. and i'm all for a potential middle ground that watcher may come up with), it's still overall odd people are saying it's overproduced. like yes, you can say you're for the dynamic, for the banter, and that the production was just a plus. i am in it for the dynamics and banter too. but, like you said, watcher wants to produce high-quality products that serve them because they like to create it.

to do this, they shouldn't have to downsize. they shouldn't have to let go of people at all (which was what buzzfeed did and im sure letting go of people wouldve created some backlash too). so they looked for an alternative, and while a bit hasty in terms of not soft launching it at all, they were looking for a better way to make money. i'm not saying people have to agree with it, i'm also ambivalent about it.

im gonna quote the wonderful @/littlekingbergara because they explained it better than me:

"i think people complaining about the production are so happy to see them stagnate. they started the company so they could make shows that creatively fulfilled them and so they wouldn't have to trim down or sanitize their work for a corporation that was at the time buzzfeed and now youtube is doing the same thing. forcing its creators to be advertiser-friendly at the cost of Literally Making No Money for one mistake that can't be undone because its appeals process is inconsistent and may as well be nonexistent. youtube started out as the best platform for them because of the income potential from their built-in audience from buzzfeed and it just isn't that anymore because it's working against its own creators."

but yea anon. it is a pretty sad situation for many. but people have to realize where watcher is coming from, and from the beginning, they have advertised their company as something they want to create tv-caliber content on, and the fact that many people are complaining that it's overproduced when it was always aiming for high production, is simply just odd to me imo 😭 it is okay for people to simply say 'i don't want to pay for this' and move on. they don't have to comment on production quality sdfshdf

[empressmcblondie]

Unpopular opinion, perhaps, but “Warrior Nun” had so much wasted potential. The idea of the show itself is compelling, unusual, and provocative. I actually really like the way that they handle organized religion, its internal hierarchies, and the corruption that goes hand in hand with any position of power. I also find the cinematography to surpass many shows that are out nowadays, to a point where the setting has life of its own and is such an integral part of the storytelling. Moreover, the fight scene choreographies are always impressive, and I particularly like the way in which each Sister has a unique style that shines through. The acting itself is not half bad, and I was even pleasantly surprised at some of the performances. I think Alba Baptista did a really good job in bringing forth this utterly irritating yet ridiculously loveable Ava. I know that it is not everyone’s cup of tea when it comes to female protagonists. Many would simply brush her off as annoying, but I don’t think that the issue is Ava’s characterization as much as it is the writing.  And here is where we reach the other side of this coin. Ava’s internal monologues are cringy. The desperate attempt to make her this quirky inexperienced teenager is so dumbed down that it is unrealistic, and even if I suspend my belief up on the moon, it will not help with how jarring whatever comes out of her dialogues is. It just pulls you out of the show because you are fully aware of the fact that you are witnessing an actress delivering a script, rather than a character that you feel like you could stumble across in your life. I sincerely do not think that most actors would be able to deliver these lines unironically and persuasively, unless you were going for the humorous tone like the Apple+ show “Dickinson,” which is not the case here. I do not know where this insistence of portraying sheltered young women as if they walked out of a poorly written YA novel comes from, but it is reductive and unnecessary.  The other main issue is the repetitive continuity errors. I think that nearly every single episode has a scene where a character turns its head in one angle, and then the camera switches angles, and the character turns its head again. For a production of this caliber, it is unclear to me why they did not put more emphasis on this? This too pulls you out of the show constantly, so between this and the writing, you are repeatedly forced to ignore so many issues in order to enjoy the show for what it is. I think every show is entitled to continuity errors here and there, but when it is so frequent, you cannot overlook its effects that easily, and the ultimate sense of reduced production value that it results in. This leads to an overall viewing experience of a 6/10 for me, when it could have easily been significantly higher. I cannot tell you whether this alone warrants the cancellation of the show, but I am certain that it factors into the opinions of many viewers, myself included.  The online discourse revolving the show nowadays tries to sell it as a show without flaws, that Netflix did not publicize enough, when this is clearly untrue. I think that instead of pointing fingers, the showrunners themselves, alongside the writing team, need to do some introspection, and then definitely pitch it to a different network. I truly hope it finds a home elsewhere, and that we get to continue experiencing Ava’s adventures, but in its current iteration, without any significant changes, I am not certain this can happen.  But here’s to hoping, in this life or the next.  EDIT: These are my opinions based off of season one, currently. If anything changes for me in season two, I will definitely write a new analysis. 

[efangamez]

So with the need to regulate guns both in the public and with police, I wanted to do a lil summary of what type of mechanisms weapons shoot with so that, when talking with others, you'll know what types of guns exist AND give a better reason for banning of assault style weapons.

Also, this will not be a perfect article, as I am not an educator not getting paid to write this. I'm simply giving my best shot to explain these differences so hyper pro-gun people won't call you out for terminology misuse.

TW // Gun talk, Harm

1. Muzzle Loader / Black Powder

These guns use the typical civil war / revolutionary war type of loading where people have to use raw gunpowder as the propellant. This type of weapon is solely used for hunting and recreation as of now because of its pitiful fire rate, which is about 3 shots in one minute (if you're, like, a marksman), but the bullet size is TREMENDOUS, leaving holes the size of fists in bodies. It does a lot of damage, but is slow, and lots of times can be inaccurate and fail often.

2. Bolt Action

Bolt action weapons cycle a bullet using a sort of lever on the side. It is MUCH faster than the previous type of gun, BUT it is painfully slow in today's world. These weapons typically only have at MAX 15 bullets per magazine, with most being around the 7-10 range. The rounds shot here are typically even more deadly than the assault style semi-autos, but they shoot much slower (yes you can have like .22 caliber bolt actions but those are usually only used for varmint hunting and/or youth firearms users)

3. Pump-Action / Break Action

These weapons are typically used in shotguns, but can be used for rifles as well. Pump action guns, well, pump bullets into the chamber for firing. It's the typical "chik-chik" gun loading that we all use for guns today, with someone pulling the pump backwards and then forwards. Now, pump action CAN be as quick as semi-auto with certain techniques, but is usually slower. Break Action is simple: it's when you snap the gun open and you can load or unload the weapon. Typically, this is used for side by side shotguns, like the typical double barrelled shotgun, or an over-under style where it's one barrel on the top and one barrel under. These are also mostly used for hunting and recreation, but they are also used for home defense because of their inexpensiveness and their simple make. They do a ton of damage, typically, but have low ammunition capacity.

4. Semi-Automatic / Automatic

So, here's where the fun begins. Semi-auto guns are complicated, and are the quickest-firing legal weapons to own without special licenses. These weapons work as simple as pressing the trigger and a bullet comes out, over and over and over until you press the trigger and the clip/magazine is empty. Now, semi-autos have the highest capacity for ammunition, MUCH higher than ANY of the ones listed previously. You can buy clips for handguns that allow for 30 bullets abled to be fired one after the other, and rifles that allow for 60+ bullets. Typically, handguns run about 7-12 bullets per clip, and rifles are 30. Automatic guns have the same capacity, but can simply be fired by holding down the trigger and spraying bullets everywhere. As said before, unless a bump stock is involved (which allows artificial automatic firing of semi auto guns), automatic weapons are NEVER used in mass shootings (in recent years) due to a ban on them for public use (thank fucking god). Semi-auto and auto weapons are used, and have been used, mainly to kill humans. Point blank. Their ammunition, for the most part, is designed for killing humans only, like the .223 AR-15 style guns use. These weapons, when given the SAME magazine size and the MILITARY, leads to these deadly, horrific shootings.

Last Point: What do I do with this info?

It's simple. Ban assault-style weapons, or have their ammunition capacity limited to 5 or less bullets. Also, more gun safety courses to teach the dangers of guns, how to defend against them (like knowing to attack the shooter when they are reloading) and so much more.

Gun ownership, especially in these tyrannical times, are a touchy subject, but one thing is certain: ammunition capacities for semi-auto weapons we have now kills kids. Nothing else.

[atrayo]

Channeled Angelic Wisdom of the Jewels of Truth Series on Conduct, Being, and Personal Character

Hello All,

Finally, I've set aside some time to blog some freshly minted for this month of May a trio of Jewels of Truth statements as channeled content from the Angels. For the last year or so I requested from the angels to receive this content usually as a theme of topics. So randomly without forethought on my part, the 3 topics of Conduct, Being, and Personal Character have been set aside for now. 

The topics and/or attributes are self-explanatory so not much background information is necessary. For those that are new readers of Atrayo's Oracle blog site of 18+ years online originally at Google's Blogger portal, and now at various satellite locations online such as LinkedIn, Tumblr, and Temple Illuminatus. 

I have been channeling the heavenly angelic host and assorted holy ones for now over 28+ plus years. Utilizing a writing technique that is considered as psychic Inspirational automatic writing. Not unlike the author of The Conversations With God book series of Neale Donald Walsch. I may actually have channeled more Inspired content than Mr. Walsch but not all of it is published publically. Lol, but who's counting? 

Without further adieu may you be blessedly informed and expand your spiritual horizons of grace. Amen.

Conduct:

3316) Many wonders occur without the cognizant realization of people in their common ordinary midst. Each to experience a solemn loving Omni-Presence of God universally. One must exude reverence for the great and small of this world simultaneously. In order to garner a situational or circumstantial awareness as a living blessing when what is perceived is well-meaning indeed by faith. 

Not all perceptions are equal, nor robust in the continuity of an honorable conduct. Thus it takes much practice and genuine sincere curiosity to experience the holiness of the divine in your everyday common midst. 

What do you notice spiritually? It depends usually on your cultural faith tradition in this world by devotional expectations. Is it an angel, a holy ghost, a natural fairy, a nature spirit, an ancestor, and so forth? Will you can you notice what is perpetually there spiritually noticing you by a beloved esteem? Intention follows adoration when the pure heart is stirred from within for what is holy is everlasting only through God(dess) alone. 

Shining as a spirit reborn upon the world permits you many graces as both wonders and responsibilities to hold a higher standard of conduct both humanely and spiritually. First, do no harm. Meaning do not condemn the foreigner or your neighbor for how they commune or not with the celestial divine upon the world. Paradise is an Inclusive metaphysical reality of the afterlife for all faiths. Each one is a sacred trust as religions, spiritual traditions, and philosophies of ancient bygone civilizations, contemporary ones, and ones yet to be invented. Not just by humanity on earth but by intelligent semi-sentient species out beyond in the cosmos. 

Like-kind spiritually as pulses or energetically will always attract each other where space and time aren't real to the metaphysical afterlife. A spiritual holy enshrined magnetism occurs by a person whose devout is akin to Being calibered or harmonized to the divine like a tuning fork at a specific frequency beyond what is audible alone dimensionally. 

So vibrating with benevolence in your heart, mind, and soul of God in you welcomes like kind of the holy ones. A circular loop of constant grace is enshrined through you as if you are a bead being strung on a loop of great affection to be adorned by God as if wearing you like a necklace of precious diamond-like jewels. 

However, if you hate with anger with toxic vibrations as pulses of ill-will both as a person and a spirit reborn you will stir up metaphysically not just poor conduct but Hell on Earth as well. Such disruptive outbursts that are sustained are the worst kind of danger wherever possible on a spiritual basis. 

Your world is awash with a Contrast of goodness, neutrality, and evil each with a native spectrum of metaphysical frequencies all its own kind. Humanity often calls them the Virtues and Vices each expression is an intonation much like the aforementioned tuning fork at a marked dedicated frequency. How you balance your decorum signifies your stature not just on earth with the maturity of personal character but also in the afterlife simultaneously. 

The divine is enmeshed with your mundane common ordinary world it is a layered stratified existence of the extraordinary wonders unto the plain and benign phenomena of all circular dynamical realities. What you pour of yourself personally out of you and into you from other sources spells the difference of health or disease upon you physically and spiritually in tandem. 

There are many avenues to commune with the benevolent spiritual realities whether by prayer, meditation, and contemplations as forms of worship. There are also devout songs, dances, and solitary exercises of the Intuitive mystical arts just to name a few. Do you have a pure open heart and mind without being jaded of what is divine and what is clearly not? 

Do you succumb easily to hardship complaining that your life is stressful without practicing self-improvement? What maladies of the human condition are beyond your control and which ones can you influence privately or with the help of other trusted souls? Do you practice Mercy and Forgiveness upon yourself and extend it to all others be they human, creature, and ecological? 

Heaven on Earth and Hell on Earth are two sides of the identical reality each sharing a spectrum of dimensional constants that can distinguish the weak from the strong in the world. Your attributes as your personal conduct signify this treatise between you and God personally and privately that no other person be they well-meaning or not should have any authority to interfere with truly. Please know which master you obey predominantly in the world and act accordingly by faith in God(dess) always and forever more. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.

Being:

3317) The Soft Stillness of Being Within feeds the doing moreso profoundly. The Deeper the Being, the Deeper the Mindfulness of your cherished wholeness which fulfills true Being. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.

Personal Character:

3318) To the one who feels much for his/her own behavior as an outlet of justified actions. Be not afraid to live a finely righteous demeanor given if the circumstances are in your favor or not. Sometimes difficult choices must be made with careful analysis as to the ramifications of the highest and best good that is possible for all concerned. Regardless, if the highest good is yours or not given the potential array of outcomes. 

There are moments where a personal sacrifice is called for as a form of practical character building for the upliftment of the spiritual self upon this world in terms of karma. This isn't to say to suffer needlessly at every possible turn as a martyr, masochist, and so forth. No tend to what is rational and behave with honour as to what is expected from you in that moment of time wherever possible. 

Then follow the trail of the sensible claim of following decisions based on reason, common sense, logic, and if necessary by sheer Intuition as required. Always moving at your pace and if not at what the moment dictates in an orderly fashion even if the pace can seem hectic at first blush. Do not be bullied into making rash decisions by peer pressure with an incomplete assessment of the facts at hand. 

Moreover please trust your Intuitive heart foremost when the decisions are serious. Silence the racing thoughts, take a deep breath or two, and release the anxiety. Listen emotionally to the Stillness within feel for the moments between moments and there you will have found your Intuitive Heart alive with your Guardian Spiritual Angel present in your Divine midst. 

Give yourself leeway to make mistakes without crucifying yourself too harshly to be a fallible person in the world. Humanity was never meant to be perfection, that is an irrational glitch of the human ego. Do celebrate your minor with larger successes in your life personally. Since so few well-meaning people will do so on your legitimate behalf as friends, loved ones, and even strangers. 

Sincerely welcome the plights that will challenge your mettle in order to rise to the occasion by living your convictions as best as you can even if you falter repeatedly. Courage requires stamina to continue despite the odds. Compassion spells the difference between the holy ones and the brutal animals of the world. Be dignified in a manner that best suits your personality, not the generic canned responses your elders may demand from you earnestly. 

Cherish responsibility in order to hold yourself to a better standard of living. Society will have expectations of you and not all of them are considerate. Sometimes being the misfit is better company than the dogma of the era that is politically and culturally hysterical and flawed in humane esteem. To know this difference takes personal Inner humility to truly understand your motivations and that of the illness of psychology of the societal masses. 

Not every aggressor is wrong so discern accordingly and not every victim is innocent either. Comprehension beyond the situational facts on the ground but truly the untold truth takes a practical understanding of the human condition. With a spiritual fortitude to do your best always without being lazy and cheating at another person's expense. 

Predicaments will occur that are chaotic as accidents and emergencies beyond the ordinary of the commoners day. Allow your Inner Stillness to guide your steps with sensible approaches that allow for minor confusion to be later clarified with reason and logic from trusted authority figures. Even if their personable values differ from your own in life and dogma. It is not the place to adjudicate the peace at that very instant of chaos that can come later when disaster strikes profusely. 

Do live with the strength of personal character and compassion for the stranger, foreigner, and your kinsfolk as your neighbors. This includes for yourself foremost and all other persons known and unknown in the world. For your thoughts, words, actions, and even your inactions do matter spiritually and moreover upon this reality of the Earth.

Whether there is earnest allowance of what must be earned, shared by privilege, and gifted as charity. The original sin is withholding your grace from the world when it is dearly needed and otherwise wanted by mutual fellows and the masses in question. To serve another sincerely with virtue is to serve God silently in the constant eternal stillness of what matters most can be unspoken with a cherished internal embrace by the divine. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.

Ivan "Atrayo" Pozo-Illas, has devoted 28 plus years of his life to the pursuit of clairaudient-inspired automatic writing channeling the Angelic Heavenly host. Ivan is the author of the spiritual wisdom series "Jewels of Truth" consisting of 3 volumes published to date. He also utilizes a unique channeled angelic divination method called the Multi-Deck Divination System. Numerous examples of his work are available at "Atrayo's Oracle" blog site of 18 years plus online. You're welcome to visit his website "Jewelsoftruth.us" for further information or to contact Atrayo directly.

[dovah-jpeg]

Idk like for a generation like mine, I definitely remember learning about Palestine years ago in school. The worst of it then (that I could see as a child, because there was FAR far worse occuring) was the complexity of the issue itself. How it was 'between them' and how there was 'no right answer' so I walked away with the understanding that they would have to figure it out between themselves some day and silently sympathized on my American high horse for them to 'shake hands and get it together' and behave like the rest of the western world.

Higher caliber classes in school would reveal to me an incredibly simple answer, however, which is that the conflict is simply a result of long standing practices of imperialism, colonization, and occupation that has a paper trail you can follow worldwide. We know what happened, why, who. Etc. And it became very evident even years ago that it wasn't a helpless crisis of unlucky religious discord, it was yet another result of the western world commencing humanitarian crises around the world. That made the issue simpler to my understanding, but not at all easier. And in my teens I would gather so much about the world and each iota gained would add to the long long list of things that would radicalize me, because you can't learn that and be okay. You can't learn that and be complicit.

The devastating reality I wasn't expecting as an adult was that this incredibly pressing humanitarian issue, which only vaguely appears in the American zeitgeist as '~one of those religious eastern conflicts,~' would be so. plainly evil. Directly from the mouths of the world leaders. I didn't know if I could ever expect to see something ever happen in Palestine in my lifetime, with the politicians of my era. And now I am, but it's. Sending weapons to the genociders. $14B aid to the occupation. It's primetime television making fun of it. It's American senators who are barely left (though VERY left in comparison to the rest of them) getting censured for even *saying* they support the ones being *occupied.*

I lost my faith in government long ago already. As far as I'm concerned anyone who participates is in it for themselves, and the few paultry exceptions ought to know better that you can't fix the system from inside the system. But despite how intense my disdain for has grown over the years, they've still managed to shock me. This is pure evil around the globe. This is writing 'bad guy' on your forehead as the news camera rolls and the world both ignoring and rewarding it.

[ecomomdoes]

New Construction Home Buyers Expect Healthier & Smarter Homes

by Melisa Camp, M.Ed. LEED AP-Homes

GREEN, ABR, PMN, PSA, e-PRO, AHWD

Associate Broker, HomeSmart Phoenix, AZ

Selling high-performance homes is an ongoing process of understanding the evolution of building science and technology and communicating that to prospective home buyers in a way that creates value. REALTORS® absolutely have to keep pace with our buyers and help them to prioritize and anticipate their needs. We also need to uphold fiduciary duties to sellers and ensure we are not leaving money on the table by undervaluing high-performance features.

New home buyers today are smarter than ever and paying attention to details. Buyers have much more information and knowledge than they did when I first started 15 years ago and knowledge is power. New home buyers definitely expect a higher caliber and quality built home- especially when we have the opportunity of building from the ground up. When buyers understand the benefits they are more likely to pay a premium price.

Buyers desire the benefits of a sustainable home whether it be cost savings, comfort, health, safety, social responsibility, or any combination of benefits. Cost savings remains the universal sales pitch but I see health catching up quickly on the list of priorities in the wake of the COVID 19 pandemic and increase in buyers working from home. 

Indoor airPLUS, LEED, NGBS and ZERH certifications and other searchable MLS fields like ‘fresh-air mechanical’ and ‘no VOC paint’ are a great place to start seeking healthier homes. REALTORS® representing home builders need to be aware of and use all available green fields when marketing or else it will be next to impossible for buyers needing specific home features to be found. Green MLS fields are an important yet completely underutilized marketing resource.

Utilities savings can easily be quantified into dollars however, it is more challenging to value intangible but important health benefits into dollars. Nevertheless, it is our job as competent advisors to understand how to take into consideration all green and sustainable features when suggesting market value to clients.

I cannot stress how important it is that REALTORS® know their listing details inside and out, forward and backward. You don't want the client knowing more than you do. It is imperative that salespersons educate themselves and builders educate their salespersons on the green features, sustainable design, and invisible but valuable investments. There are powerful tools like the Appraisal Institute’s Green and Energy Efficient Addendum and PVvalue.com to aid in the adjustment in value for high-performance home features and energy efficient assets.

Be addicted to learning and earn NAR’s GREEN designation; this is something I highly recommend as it is the best core knowledge upon which REALTORS® can build a strong foundation. Also, please keep learning and building competency with Intro to Sustainability and Resiliency: What REALTORS® Need to Know course at learning.realtor along with several micro-courses on the topic of sustainability that I helped write and produce as my pandemic passion project.

*This work is to be published by the National Association of REALTORS® as part of a practitioner perspective for the newest version of the New Home Construction course.

[shawnjacksonsbs]

My truth(s) 8-19-23

"The way you would draw a tree is different from the way some else would draw a tree - and that's the way it's supposed to be!" - Mr. Fred Rogers

So much of our lives is spent interacting with others. . .

It's hard to differentiate between not caring what some say or feel, while trying to listen to those we do care about.

"I don't care what they think!"

"I'll accept this person's criticism, but not yours."

All the while, everyone has an opinion for you.

~

Do you walk, or at least try to walk in such a way that Jesus would be proud. Like, do you treat others the way Jesus would want?

Then, we might actually have more in common than you think.

This is the part I want to focus on. . .when I write and in my walk on this side of life, the loving things we have in common.

The things we disagree on that present themselves as toxic or argumentative should be held for higher caliber form of loving that only certain people can handle.

I fall short here some times myself. I used to be way worse about it. But I can't let that keep me from the much needed progressive movements forward that I know I still need to make either, though.

We is it so hard for some people to accept that my truth works for me, the same way yours does for you?

There are issues that will have on us on opposite ends sometimes, but shouldn't the car we travel in be more important than who has more control of the steering wheel. I mean, at least we're riding together.

If I think you're trying to wreck us on purpose, I can just get in with some else, but I truly believe that almost all of us want good and have good hearts. Therefore riding with someone else that I don't see eye to eye with on several issues, can actually help educate me further.

Empathy is better served on the opposition than you think. Just sayin'.

~

My note-taking is a bargaining tool for my brain. It's the compromise I need, but at more current intervals and in moments of free time, which I sorely lack these days.

It is, still, how I stay healthy.

Sometimes I still wonder what life would look like if I could actually accept another's truth as a truth for me. Man, some of it would probably bring me so much peace. Lol But struggle, having and getting through struggle is where we find joy.

And although peace is important, I wish that I had even more of it, without joy sprinkled throughout, peace doesn't mean as much to me.

Grateful for everything, means grateful for everything. It's still a training exercise for me, for which I may never fully arrive, but I am trying, very much.

~

A couple pretty cool things happened to me today. It's Thursday by the way. Lol

May or may not be the last note I take, but. . .

First I got a phone call informing me that I was getting my deductible back. The one I paid on the renters insurance claim from the fire back in Sept. It didn't make us rich by any means, but still nice.

And 2nd, a call from the lawyer. As long as my oldest son continues to do good and stays in the program one of his charges will go bye bye at the end of the year. A completely unrelated issue.

Just goes to show ya, that if you do good, ya get good.

Both calls in the same hour. My smile never had a chance to leave my face. Lol

It was a good day.

~

I'll probably close with Happy birthday dad, R.I.P.

Tomorrow, I'll be reading a book on eagles for Pawpaw's story time in honor of the old man's birthday.

Remember to share your love and your laughter with the world, live your truth, and do human . . .better.

It's only slightly more abrasive than it's relative toxic opposites, and usually only in the beginning.

Until next week 2 quotes to end on;

"I did my homework, explored options and belief systems, and realized that there was no perspective I could consider it from where I actually could agree with it and honestly mean it. Honesty is important to me and it was important to me that I be honest with myself and those around me. Not saying there aren't nuggets of wisdom in many different religions. There are. But I can't get on board with any of them as a whole particularly when it comes to miracles and deities." - Melissa Myers (random Facebook commenter)

~

"Part of the problem with the word 'disabilities' is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who can't feel? Or talk about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways? What of people who aren't able to form close and strong relationships? And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives, or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love? These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities." - Mr Fred Rogers

[sportsminorityreport]

Did the commissioner of the Pac-12 blow his chance to save his conference?

I was deeply disturbed by the news coming out of the West Coast news outlets.  

3 months ago, the plan for the PAC-12 was plainly apparent to everyone reading the news.   The Pac was going to hold off expansion and make a media deal trading off the media exposure of having all of their games on the cable networks, making the calculated decision to put some of their games on a niche/emerging platform, Amazon, and THEN to expand to 11 schools with San Diego State.

I said at the time that this was a MAJOR strategic mistake.  I advocated adding SDSU and trying to add Texas Tech, TCU, and Kansas (as the Big 12 Grant of Rights extension did not appear to have been completed).  The logic was that:

1) You add the 3rd and last FBS program in Southern California.

2) You add 3 schools in the central timezones.

3) You take over the Dallas Market from the Big 12.

4) You dramatically upgrade the Pac-12 in Basketball, the second revenue sport --- making it a relevant conference ---one worth watching --- for national basketball purists for the first time in almost a decade.

That would dramatically reduce the appeal of the Big 12 while forcing ESPN and Fox to take a much harder look at whether they could afford to be sealed out of the Western US and the #5 Dallas/Fort Worth media market.

With the Big Ten taking away most of the Northern Media markets from ESPN, the loss of the DFW market could have been the lynchpin to forcing ESPN and Fox to the negotiation table with the PAC.

But the Pac decided to negotiate with the assets they had on hand --- the 10 remaining PAC schools --- despite the fact that the PAC 12 with USC and UCLA had already  been pidgeonholed by the broadcast networks as strictly late night TV fare.

It seemed an odd move, but the media reports suggested the PAC commissioner had done his homework and the PAC schools might pull about $40 Million per school by going with Amazon. 

 As the PAC schools had been sold on projections of higher media payouts by their last commissioner, almost all PAC schools outspent the actual money that was coming over the length of the last TV deal, leaving their programs showing annual losses for several years.  It is VERY believable that the PAC schools were willing to write off some exposure to pull an extra $10 Million a year vs. what the Big 12 schools received.

In a few weeks, the negotiations would be done and the PAC would have again snubbed expansion.

Well...Here we are. 

 No TV deal.  

The talk now is that taking Amazon’s money might have the PAC schools getting paid LESS than the Big 12 schools.  

Now ASU fans are being polled and 72% are saying they should jump to the Big 12.  

And now the PAC is looking at SMU, a school with half the displayed fan base of TCU, as an expansion  partner for SDSU.

Let’s be clear, the PAC member school’s individual leadership may appear to be HORRIBLE at hiring commissioners, but they at least see things clearly when it comes to the PAC vs. the Big 12.  

The PAC is an association of research powerhouse universities, just ones presently quite mediocre at both revenue sports.  The Big 12 is about as far being a collection of research powerhouse Universities as you can get at the supposed power tier of the FBS ranks.  

If a PAC school joins the Big 12 they can forget about appearing to be power conference caliber.  

It is a fatal move.

Why do I say that?  Because realignment can be seen most clearly as power schools sucking up more and more TV money at the expense of their former peers.  Jumping to a less prestigious conference is conceding you are not a power conference peer --- that you don’t deserve to be there.

For Utah it would be the equivilent of rejoining the MWC.  For Arizona and Arizona State, it would be acknowledging the University of Houston as their academic peers, not Cal and Stanford.  For Colorado, it would be conceding a fall back into mediocracy as today’s Big 12 is academically a shadow of the one they left years ago.  (Unlike the Big 12, The PAC12-2 may no longer be a power conference - for now - but it still has the trappings of one.)

And for the west coast schools, it would mean becoming even more of a regional conference with horrid TV windows and crap dollars.  For Cal, Stanford, Washington, and Oregon, it would mean seeing conference attendance deadwood Washington State and Oregon State eating a bigger portion of the conference revenue and more --- having to add more than just SDSU.   It would likely mean having a 9 team conference with Fresno State and UNLV joining as more underperforming, low fan draw members.

This is nothing the PAC member schools want.  

Stanford, Oregon, and Washington want no part of UNLV or Fresno State.  Utah doesn’t want to slide back into little brother status under BYU in a MWC part II.  People in the know at ASU and UA know that they are Kansas State in the Big 12 conference at best.  Colorado’s leadership doesn’t want to be in a pop warner version of the old Big 12.

Again...the PAC is a collection of research powerhouses.  They are down today, but the worm could easily turn for them in the next media cycle if their gamble with Amazon works out.  The media money could be there in 5-6 years.  And if it is, no one in the PAC is taking a second look at the Big 12.

Their best chance is to stick together even if the media money is disappointing for another media cycle.  Hence the vote of confidence for the commissioner and the league itself.

Jumping to the Big 12 for a few million bucks a year over the next 5 years is a truly ridiculous premise, but the longer this goes on, the more polls you will see of PAC schools’ fans panicking and wanting to get out. Colorado and ASU fans are apparently now both on a different page than their school leadership.  That is 2 of the 4 inland schools.

And as a realignment follower for 30 years, I can assure you this house of cards will fall soon if the PAC commissioner cannot either close a deal for more than the Bug 12 payouts or come up with a new more viable plan.  There is only so much of this that can happen before powerful donors start panicking and drag their schools into the abyss.

So...what should the PAC do?  Offer slots immediately to TCU, Texas Tech, and Kansas. Same thing they should have done 3 months ago.  Same thing I told their office reps 3 months ago.

Now the fact that it appears the PAC is openly looking at SMU as a candidate and their commissioner has apparently been out visiting SMU strongly suggests that the Big 12 has now renewed it’s Grant of Rights.

(Now if it hasn’t and those schools have been sitting there available this whole time, your next step would/should probably be to fire your commissioner for a lack of due dilligence and just promote his number 2.  Forget about exhaustive searches – you suck at them.  Hire someone who is cheap to fire and move on.)

If the Big 12 has renewed it, you look at your next options --- which all “suck” --- and you chose the best options.... Not the closest ones.

What would those be?

Well I am going to assume that the one hard never is that Stanford and Cal would not concede to add BYU.   It is a shame because even though they deserve banishment from PAC consideration for the LDS getting involved in that California gay marriage vote years ago, BYU would move the needle.  And BYU would likely jump at the offer if they could figure out a way out of the Big 12 GOR.  But the GORs are daunting so lets assume all Big 12 schools are off the table.

I think the PAC should do a very un-PAC-like thing.  The PAC has always been firm on every member getting an equal share. 

I think they should pay their new members a “new member” sized share for the length of the media deal.  Pay new full members a half share --- whatever that is --- ($15M per season?) until the PAC gets through this trying contract.

1)  Add San Diego State now.  They are an annual bowl team and an annual NCAA tourney team in a region of California with about 24M people that the PAC otherwise doesn’t have a presence in.  They bring enough value to be a positive in negotiations.

2) Add Gonzaga as an Olympic only member for the next 5 years to make your conference relevant in basketball again.  The Pac has kicked the tires on Gonzaga for several year. They need to just do it.  If a full PAC share is $30M, give Gonzaga $10 M per year --- the full normal 1/3 an Olympic-only member gets in a power conference..

3) Add UC-Davis as an Olympic-only member for this media cycle, with little disguising they will probably allowed to make the jump in football in the next media cycle.  Why Davis?  Because they are in the Sacramento DMA --- a top 30 DMA with no football.  And they are academic and research bluebloods. Davis can use their PAC money to play their football a few years in the MWC or even CUSA.  Adding Davis as an Olympic member gives you an optimal media position in inland California and makes adding Fresno State unnecessary.

4) Add SMU.  SMU isn’t without value, it is just CURRENTLY a far, far, far inferior move to adding TCU or Texas Tech.  SMU’s biggest problem is that they draw very few fans for football and that isn’t likely to change.  Now on the positive side they are in the DFW metroplex even if they are an after thought to the media. What is a positive is that SMU practically invented paying players.  Now that paying players is the rule of the land, SMU is likely to do a LOT better on the field. Keep in mind the metroplex is the state’s premiere talent hotbed in football and basketball. If SMU becomes a consistent top 25 team, I have to think they might pull maybe 28K a game…?  That still sucks and isn’t anywhere close to the 46K TCU pulls, but maybe that would be enough to make SMU truly media relevant in Dallas where I live. SMU is the best academic university based on academic ranking in the metroplex.

5) Add Rice.  Now I am sure many heads exploded with this one, but stay with me here. Rice is the best academic school in Texas and Houston is the second best recruiting market in Texas.  Houston is also a city with 3 FBS teams and the #10 DMA in the country.  Adding Rice technically raises Rice to a peer status with Houston again.  Now I think Rice should be STRONGLY encouraged to focus on basketball due to their tiny enrollment and become the Duke of this new PAC, but there are other options they could take. Mensa member and former UT and UH head coach Tom Herman would make a LOT of sense at Rice if they lose patience with coach Mike Bloomgren (who does seem to be making consistent incremental progress).   

6) Tulane. I know this makes a lot of people groan, but you aren’t looking at the big picture.  The Pac has died on the vine because college football has become a game of recruiting.  Adding Tulane gives the PAC access to arguably the best SEC recruiting ground. Tulane is additionally a very, VERY good AAU school. It is the best academic school in Lousiana.  Elevating Tulane is like the Rice move on steriods. Suddenly Tulane jumps way ahead of all of their competitors to a slot right behind LSU. They hurdle ULL, ULM, La Tech, Southern Miss…Tulane could actually be really good. And even if they aren’t, you have just opened Dallas, Houston, and the New Orleans/Jackson corridor --- Probably three of the best recruiting grounds in the county to Washington, Oregon, Colorado (cough - Deion Sanders - cough), Utah, and the Arizona schools.  And you have maintained your academic standards.

It will look ugly. 

The last three schools are likely to draw less than 30K a game. It will look like the disastrous “super WAC“ for a bit, but it is a solid long term move that will look a lot stronger when this media cycle is complete and the new schools have grown into solid PAC members.  And it has the chance to turn playoff bridesmaid schools Oregon, Washington, and Utah into legit playoff contenders.  That would be worth the price of admission.

[septembersghost]

the hbo spn thing bothers me to a point beyond description, it would not have been better.

on hbo they would’ve treated all the characters, and Dean in particular, far, far, worse than what they could ever get away with on the cw. or have you all never seen the way abuse victims are brutalized and demonized on hbo shows

[kalims]

hiya!! If you are taking requests rn, may I ask for kokomi relationship hcs with an affectionate s/o that really likes being around her and stuff? I'm so happy she's getting a rerun I LOVE HER😭 btw I love your blog<33

✉ ⋮ no no, I love YOU <33 and so true, us kokomrades shall get her on her rerun 👺

sangonomiya kokomi with an affectionate s/o.

established relationship, fluff, intimacy, unspecified gender. lmk if I accidentally gendered this post also this wasn't proof read, i don't proof read my posts cause I'm lazy lol </3

⁀ ✦ sangonomiya kokomi

sometimes kokomi wonders how much love you seem to hold for her. you never fail to make her turn quiet, admittedly embarrassed at the displays of affection you seemed to show. in a way you're like wearing your heart on your sleeves, not once afraid to hide away your true desires and instead gladly taking acting upon it.

she envies you for that quality just a smidge 🤏. you seem to be so carefree and honestly? as much as she grew to dislike attention (a thought she'd kept to herself and locked away) since it really drained herself. you were kind of a breath of fresh air?

It's refreshing just to have someone that would genuinely see your as yourself and not someone of higher caliber. the residents of watatsumi Island always looked up at her as some kind of savior and as much as she appreciates it, she also grew kind of lonely because of so.

what would kokomi do when you show her your love? give you love but in a way that is 'I'm copying you because I'm confused and don't know what to do so I'll just awkwardly hug you back' way.

she would stiffen when you randomly have an urge to leap and wrap your arms around the poor girl. and then she would take a few moments to comprehend what the hell just happened as you snuggled closer, cleadly unbothered.

+ 10000 energy.

if gorou wasn't even a definition of a puppy following her around then what the hell are you?! imagine the priestess just taking a walk and you see her s/o trailing behind looking like they're on heaven while sneaking peeks at kokomi.

when she's exhausted and is in really really REALLY dire need of more fuel to keep her going she just walks over to you, knowing you'd find a way to somehow latch yourself onto her and shower her in affection. but most times she's just too shy to approach and don't wanna bother you :(.

also I've probably referenced this to one of my posts but it'd be so hilarious if gorou, the general would be so protective and paranoid around you two. "must protect her excellency and her beloved!!" congrats, you have a guard doggie now!

speaking of gorou, please help him. whenever you openly display physical intimacy in front of him he maintains a straight face but you could swear that steam was coming out of his awfully red ears. BUT if kokomi welcomes your advances with open arms (can be taken literally) you could see him tear up dramatically and then look like he's having an inner crisis.

listen, she loves you but PLEASE have mercy even if it's just sometimes. you're gonna kill her with ✨love ✨ if you keep affirming your love with actions. *picture of kokomi looking like she's having a stroke* 😭

"I love being around you, that's all."

👁👄👁

you broke her >:o

mhm, oh yes. me and my s/o and her 6ft. body pillow of myself energy.

lawl imagine if you guys ever fight (which is rare since she's so patient and understanding) and she's just like 'this is the time where s/o would come in and hug me' and then is 'oh :((' when she remembers that you aren't exactly on speaking terms.

those are the times where she realizes that she really appreciates your efforts even though she rarely acts on hers due to her shyness and hard-core anxiety. and it prompts her to woman up and formally organize an apology.

well the strategist in her is rising because it's out of habit that she carefully picks out how to write the apology, the steps and the words. it looks like a mf essay and you're basically reduced to tears from how much effort she put into this piece of PAPER. 😭💔

In conclusion, this is basically the trope whereas person A is secretly touch starved and person B is the most affectionate person ever! person B will supply person A with love and affection 🥰

[laf-outloud]

Ok, as someone who watches an unhealthy amount of CW shows, genuinely I don't understand people who hate on Jensen, Jared, or Misha for being bad actors. Because they are ALL bad actors, THAT'S why they're on a CW show. I love Supernatural, I love all three of them, but their acting skills are mediocre at best. And that's okay! I enjoy watching CW shows because they're melodramatic and fun without taking themselves too seriously. CW shows are like higher budget soap operas, you know exactly what caliber of acting and writing you're getting. I've just been thinking about this for awhile and wanted to ask fans and antis from all sides about this. While in anon, of course, because I DO NOT need this fandom coming for me. But I looked through your blog and you seemed nice and respectful enough. So, why do you see Misha as a bad actor compared to Jensen and Jared? And let me be clear, I don't hate Jensen, Jared, or Misha. I love all three of them and want them all to have successful careers post-SPN. So this isn't me attacking you for being anti-Misha. You just seemed like someone who might have a polite response to this question.

First off, watching tv is only unhealthy if it interferes with your daily life! LOL! (And thank you for thinking I'm nice and respectful - I try - most days).

In regards to bad acting, I'm no expert (my acting experience consists of business voice-overs and one line in my Junior High Christmas play), so what I share will be based on how I perceive things, certainly not from how an acting coach or director would see things.

I have to disagree with calling television actors/soap actors straight up bad. I think acting is relative and quality can be based on our expectations. I don't expect network tv actors to wow me like movie actors, but I do expect them to tell me a story without pulling me out of it by bad acting. What do I mean by this? If I'm watching a scene for the first time and an actor does something that makes me think, "Ouch, that line fell flat," or "What kind of acting decision was that?" then I'm no longer thinking about the scene or the character, I'm thinking about the actor instead. That's what I think of as bad acting.

As for J2M - I've put that below the break.

Speaking of noticing acting choices in a scene, the reason I refer to Misha as a bad actor is because he's the one on SPN that pulled me out of the story the most, and it didn't happen right away. I feel like he did a goo job with Castiel S4-6 as well as Castiel's return to form in S14's Lebanon when he had to play S4 Castiel again. I especially appreciated his nuance when he started to understand humanity and felt more like a fish out of water. It's his acting in the later seasons, particularly when he would play a separate character that I would full on cringe while watching it.

Bad examples include Casifer, The Empty, and AU German Nazi Cas. With Casifer, he actually practiced doing Mark P.'s version of Lucifer, except he was basing it off of Hallucifer, which was Sam's mind's interpretation. The real Lucifer was much more subtle and felt like a truly powerful being. In fact, Jared's Lucifer in 5.04 and at the end of S5 (and S15 dream sequences) was understated. I could feel the malevolence behind this all-powerful being. Casifer came off as a parody of what Lucifer should be, simply because Misha tried too hard. He lost the subtlety required to create that commanding presence. I was no longer watching Sam and Lucifer, I was watching Sam and Misha playing Lucifer.

His other characters, mentioned above, also felt like over-the-top caricatures. Jared and Jensen have proven with Lucifer, Michael, Gadreel, Demon Dean, etc. that you don't need to ham it up to inhabit a different character.

As for Nazi Cas? That was just an offensive choice by Misha that the directors let him get away with. There was no reason for Cas, the angel, who only showed up in recent years for the apocalypse to be German. It perpetuated the stereotype all Germans are Nazis, and therefore the villains.

And finally, Castiel's goodbye scene. I understand it was Misha's last scene, and there's certain to be some character bleed, but there was so much bleeding, I thought he was going to need a transplant. Cas' voice was gone, his stoicism, his posture, Cas just disappeared, and in his place was the actor.

I know those are the extreme examples from Misha, and I think he did fine with his other scenes later in the series, but he certainly wasn't helped by writers who didn't know what to do with him and had him standing around a lot of the time.

Anyway, I hope what I've said made some sense. I appreciate that your willing to seek out different opinions. If you get responses from other fans, I'd be interested to see how we differ.

P.S. If it helps, I also don't like Jared's acting choice in Walker when Cordell gets nervous. He's getting better about it, but his speech pattern takes on a staccato style, which can be annoying once you notice it.

[after-witch]

Pinned [Yandere Shigaraki x Secretary!Reader]

Title: Pinned [Yandere Shigaraki x Secretary!Reader]

Synopsis: You’ve given him a kink and isn’t that your fault, really? Follow up to “Office Hours.”

For request:

-I can’t stop thinking about your secretary fic, I think it gave me a tickling kink that I never knew I had. I would absolutely love it if you wrote some more of creepy Shigaraki and his captive secretary!]

Word Count: 1334

notes: yandere, kidnapped reader, tickling, just some kink PWP

You’ve given him a kink. 

Okay. 

A few kinks. 

And maybe they were dormant inside him all along but seeing you in your stockings and heels and that fucking blouse when it gets translucent and sweat-soaked underneath his fingers--you complained about the sweat but shit, it can be thrown in a washer if you really care that much--has awakened something in him. An itch that only you can scratch--or rather, an itch that he only wants to scratch with you. And sometimes that scratch is literal, depending on his mood.

Which is why he’s staring at you now. You’re sitting at the desk he’d found on the street, a scratched up ratty thing with a bum leg that someone was throwing out. Your fingers are flying over the keys of the laptop--his laptop, but he’s nice enough to let you use it, WiFi disabled of course--and who knows what you’re typing but what you’re typing isn’t actually important.

As long as as he can focus on the way your back arches in the uncomfortable chair, the way you idly slip a heel off and flex your stockinged foot, the swishing sound your skirt keeps making when you shift against the tattered leather seat. You were trying to drive him crazy, weren’t you? You had to be. Every sound, every movement, designed to make him want you. Need you.

Fuck, you were perfect.

He’s glad more and more that he took you, rescued you, really, from that shitty hero you called a “boss.” Hypocritical asshole. If Tomura hadn’t acted first, that lowlife do-nothing (seriously, you could’ve aimed for a higher caliber of hero) was surely aiming to get you into bed. Maybe he was spiking the orange juice at your boring little brunches. Maybe he would have told you he’d help your career if you “helped him.” What a sicko.

You’ve slipped both of your black heels off entirely and fuck, fuck, fuck. He presses his knuckles to his mouth and groans and your eyes dart to him and away and that’s it, he can’t sit here, half-paying attention to a video game anymore. He sets the controller down and he sees right away that your body is tensing up, wondering what he’s up to; well, you’ll see, won’t you? You were practically begging him to come over there, so you shouldn’t be surprised.

“Tomura--”

Your voice is sweet and he knows you want him to go sit back down, so you can work--”work”--but he just can’t. You’re making it impossible for him to leave you alone. Can he help it if the way you keep glancing at him, pretending you don’t care (but you don’t) what he’s going to do sends a thrill down his stomach?

And you really tense up once he makes up his mind what to do, plopping down on the stained carpet and ducking his head under the desk. You make to tuck your legs behind the chair, but you’re too slow, and he gets a firm grip on one of your feet easily.

“Tomura,” you say again, urgency overpowering the sweetness.

“Quiet,” he tells you. “Just keep working.”

Your foot seems made to fit in his hand, and no matter how you try to pull away, his grip stays firm. He wonders if it ever dawns on you that his hands can do so much worse than tickle. Not to you, though, never to you. Not that he lets you know that--a little threat in the air is needed, particularly when you’re being stubborn. It’s not like he can threaten to dock your pay if you don’t fall in line, right?

“Come on,” you whine, when he brings up his other hand and begins to stroke your foot, up and down, deceptively patient on his part. Your foot curls as much as possible and he can hear your breath, hitching and huffing.

This is his favorite part. When you try to block it out--when you’re surely thinking that maybe this time you can hold out long enough, and he’ll get bored and go back to gaming.

You’re silly.

He’ll never get bored of you.

He also knows that you can never make it that long without giving in. All it takes is a bit of digging, itching into the nylon with a single finger, and there--like always--you break, and your bubbling, beautiful little laugh makes his stomach do flips. Whatever feeble typing you were doing before ceases entirely in favor of your hands banging on the desk, pounding helplessly on the wood.

Fuck.

Do you know what you do to him?

Fuck.

He’s chewing on his bottom lip before he knows it and there’s a bit of blood in his smile as he glances up, almost pensive, not wanting to look straight up your skirt like some kind of perv.

“T-T--Tomura,” you grind out, voice fizzy and light and breathy and laughing. “Please-stop-please-stop,” and he can’t see your face but he bets your eyes are squeezed shut, bets the eye makeup is running a bit, bets your mouth is stretched wide and he wishes he could be up there and down here at the same time so he could kiss you.

He’ll have to get you on the couch if he wants to do that.

A quick glance up, the sight of your nyloned thighs underneath the skirt rubbing together as you squirm on the chair, is all he needs to change positions.

Your sigh in relief when he lets your foot ago, and when he gets out from under the table he can see that he was right--your mouth is still slightly curved in a helpless smile and your makeup’s a bit runny and your breathing in and out, catching your breath underneath that slightly sweaty white blouse. How, how, how did that dipshit hero who hired you not bend you over his desk the first day you walked into the office?

Not that it matters. Not that your former employer matters. Not that anyone should matter to you anymore but Shigaraki Tomura, right?

He feels your muscle tense up, tight and wary, but decides to be gracious and ignore it as he looms behind you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and inhaling your scent. A glance at the laptop screen shows what you were writing--I’mboredI’mboredI’mboredI’mbored, how cute; but he wastes no more time before leaning forward to shut the laptop and pull the chair--and you-- backwards, until the back of the gaming chair rests solidly against his chest.

The sound you make as as gravity pulls you down can only be described (affectionately) as a squawk, and your throat looks smooth and exposed as you stare up at him, probably hoping the chair doesn’t fall out from under you. You’re so damn cute. Hot. Perfect. His.

“Couch or chair?” He asks, and your eyes dart around for a third option that doesn’t exist. You bite on your lip, cherry red smearing a bit on your tooth.

“Couch,” you practically sigh the words out of your mouth. You start to lift yourself out the chair and pause, tentative. “Tomura?”

He hmms, only half paying attention, instead focusing on the way your body looks as you finally slide out of the chair and perch yourself on the couch in anticipation.

“Keep your damn fingers out of my armpits this time.”

He won’t make any promises.

[spideyyroos]

are you kidding me - peter parker (soulmate!au) part 4

are you kidding me? - peter parker (soulmate!au) - part 4

pairing: peter parker x stark!female!reader summary: during your everlasting rivalry against peter parker, you’re unlucky enough to find out that not only is he spider-man (your dad’s new kid), but he is also your soulmate. god help us all. (soulmate au where you have a mark of where your soulmate first touches you) word count: 969 requested?: yes! warnings: pure teenage angst, a brief mention of smexy themes if u squint, y/n having major commitment issues, sad baby peter a/n: i apologize for the wait! this chapter is highkey garbage but i’m really trying to get back into writing :( shoutout to my girls for helping motivate me ;-; [part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

In the weeks following the patrolling incident, Y/N avoided Peter like the plague. To blame it on trust and abandonment issues, it would never be a fair fight when it comes to her justification. Although she would never admit it, witnessing Peter fall to pieces directly in front of her--half-expecting her to sew him back together--caused her to spiral. She figured, if she never allowed herself to show any vulnerability, Peter would never come to be disappointed with her. The last person she wanted any resentment from, aside from her own father, was Peter. Though this was to contradict their adversarial relationship, Y/N continuously held his opinions to a higher standard than anyone else. Although at this point of their complex relationship, there was truly nothing to hide. Whether it was against his, hers, or the universe’s will, either could hear each other’s thoughts, feel each other’s pain, and understand each other’s sentiments. Despite making it her life’s mission to prevent Peter from ever invading her mind palace, it was essentially impractical to avoid his presence at Midtown. As far as anyone knew, Y/N “Walters” and Peter Parker were “enemies attached at the hip.” Almost enrolled in every AP course possible, participating in the same extracurricular activities, even having the same lunch period made it damn near impossible. Making matters worse, Peter was constantly making an effort to make amends for their less-than-perfect past. Even if their insult guns were cocked and ready, neither party was ready for the cruel and empty words that were thrown at each other. As previously emphasized, the tension that the pair created in the atmosphere was almost overbearing at times. It came to a point in which their peers would create bets on when the “apparent sexual tension” would finally be released--the main perpetrator of such bets being Flash and (at her wit’s end) MJ. Desperately trying to push aside from their individual imperfections, Peter would corner her in the hallways, classrooms, and even her own bedroom to just simply apologize on his own behalf. But that goddamn Stark pride was a worldwide novelty. Y/N, keeping in mind that Peter had already torn into her massive ego, still held her head as high as she could. His criticism fell on deaf ears as she somehow wiggled her way out of every confrontation possible. In school, it was easy to play by the rules of their rivalry. She would always throw the same vicious cycle of signature Stark ™ remarks: “Oh, Pete-y baby, you wanna kiss?”; “Sorry Parker, I’m gonna have to give you blue balls--I have class right now!”; and other snarky comments of the same caliber. However, when it came to the complex--the visits that were few and far between--Peter genuinely had no clue as to exactly how Y/N could avoid him. Usually she would be more than prepared, calling out some sort of security protocol to FRIDAY that would usher him (rather aggressively) out of her room. Sometimes, out of the entire complex until Happy would unlock the door for him. Unfortunately for Peter, once was one too many times for Happy and soon Pepper became his doorwoman. Let it be noted that Peter is a fairly patient person, but when it came Y/N--she tested every nerve in his body. He was never sure why he always felt such animosity towards the Stark daughter, but he physically could not pull the reins on his competitive nature. Mind you, he purely disregarded looks and actual personality (which, trust, Y/N was overflowing in that department) to narrow in on her academic stance compared to his. Now, in the recent turn of events, Peter would take advantage of the rare moments where he could take in her beauty (natural or otherwise). Then, the sudden feeling of rejection would infiltrate any sort of daydream that could possibly gain traction when Y/N would rip herself from his mind. Demanding an obscene amount of space from him, Y/N locked herself away from him--deliberately eliminating any hopes of forgiveness and consolation in the near future. Peter currently sat in his small bedroom, spent from the day’s worth of school and patrolling. Thankful for the lack of crime within the day, he was sprawled on top of his twin-size mattress and still was attempting to catch his breath from the brief altercation he experienced before he finished patrolling for the afternoon. It was yet another attempted robbery, but it was somehow smaller than the encounter from a few weeks prior. Peter stared at his ceiling, trying to devise the best way to confront Y/N and otherwise figure out their soulmate connection.

Please don’t do this right now, Peter.

Wha--I wasn’t doing anything--

How do you repeatedly forget that I can hear you? Even if you think that you are dialing it down, it’s still loud and clear--constantly present in my mind.

Y/N continued as Peter did not respond.

Look, Peter, I want this to work out as much as the next person...but I honestly cannot find it in me to push aside everything that we’ve been through together. I don’t want to damage you, Peter. I don’t know how you are trying to go about this...I’ve always known you to be persistent with seeing the best in people, but I am, honest to God, the last person you should spare with optimism. So, if you really want to care about me, don’t try to talk to me, don’t look my way, and certainly don’t want to come to the compound. 

And, in one final sentence, Y/N shattered the last resort of their potential relationship.

I’m sorry, Peter, but I can’t do this.

Without a second to respond, Y/N cut herself out from Peter’s mind.

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