#i can’t-

[marragurl]

I have this VISCERAL need for an AU where everyone’s perception of Ratiorine is completely skewed and they all think they hate each other when in reality they’re actually married.

They had a small ceremony years ago, fully live together, have matching pajama sets, cutely bicker and have inside jokes with each other, constantly use endearments when referring to one another in public, have a combined 20 step hygiene routine, are each other’s first choice if there’s a mission that require 2 people, AND NO ONE BELIEVES THEY’RE MARRIED! OR EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP!

AVENTURINE EVEN SIGNS HIMSELF AS AVENTURINE RATIO ON INVITES OR LETTERS OR PAPERWORK (Kakavasha Ratio on their marriage certificate, I like to think in this AU they’ve worked through their past trauma together already), BUT EVERYONE THINKS IT’S A TYPO AND HE MEANT TO WRITE THEM SEPARATELY SINCE THEY’RE ALWAYS ASSIGNED ON MISSIONS TOGETHER.

The only people who know are the Stonehearts, and that’s only due to Aventurine’s contract/work as IPC, so they were the ones who officiated/were witnesses to the wedding.

Everytime they all go out to get a drink or something, I need Topaz in the back looking insufferable as Ratiorine are in full lovey-dovey mode AND NO ONE NOTICES. I’d be the same girl, they could broadcast their honeymoon and STILL people would think it’s some weird powerplay hate thing, Topaz is later found crying to Jade about how she finally understands why Ratio calls everyone idiots, how are people so blind?! They’ve even started using the same motions and same phrases Jade, WHY CAN NO ONE ELSE SEE IT???

The only reason the Penacony plan goes off without a hitch is that everyone has the biggest preconceived notion that Aventurine and Ratio despise each other WHEN IT’S JUST THEIR USUAL MARRIED BICKERING. NO ONE CAN EVEN FATHOM THE TWO OF THEM LIKING EACH OTHER, LET ALONE MARRIED???

(In this AU, Aventurine gives up his room because the Reverie made the same mistake of not understanding the signature and assigned him and Ratio to different rooms, and now there’s a nice clean way of getting rid of the extra room, making a connection with the Astral Express, AND rooming with his dear husband, what great luck!)

I want it to get to a point where they could fully make out in front of Sunday and the man would STILL believe that Ratio would betray Aventurine. Aventurine during the entire interrogation scene is just constantly in the state of “my husband is such a good actor, I’m so proud of him” *heart eyes and winks to Ratio when Sunday isn’t looking* and Ratio is just straight up looking worried for Aventurine and immediately rushes after him when it’s all over AND NO ONE BATS AN EYE

Ratio just mentally apologizing to Aventurine after every little fake fight they have and dying on the inside and doubling down on every bit of affection he can in between (and even during) the fights, and Aventurine is just having fun having his husband’s attention all to himself no matter the form. (plus the rush of knowing just how much they trust each other always makes him warm)

Aventurine is fully ok with this weird perception people have of him and his husband since it always helps with his schemes and gambles paying off, and while Ratio wants to bash everyone in the head for even daring to think he hates his husband, he keeps quiet because he trusts that Aventurine will always come back to him and make it all work.

But that’s not enough to stop him with showering Aventurine with adoration and love in public. If the public are too much of idiots to realize something as obvious as their love, Ratio won’t stop it from showing his dear husband just how much he means to him.

This is fully AU of course, we all know canon Ratiorine is the longest softest pining game in history. Funny enough, Topaz is still suffering in the back due to their relationship shenanigans. She better be getting some financial compensation for this, I just know Aventurine complains to her about his crush. Ratio is fully at his own place writing out thesis after thesis about the meaning of love and psychoanalyzing his own feelings. He forwards them to Topaz for review because I like to think she’s somehow become a weird bouncing board for his frustrations about her coworker. Topaz is crying.

[dungbeatposse]

OH MY GOD??????????

[lesbianfirefightershow]

I've been part of many fandoms over the years—Heck, I have even been a fan of *Riverdale* and *Glee*. But I don't think I've ever been as shocked as I was when I saw people referring to *9-1-1* as 'finally the gay firefighter show' after the BuckTommy kiss. Actually, 'shocked' isn't the right word—'disgusted' is more accurate. That kind of comment is wrong and discriminatory on so many levels. It's truly baffling.

Just had to get that out there. I mean, it also gave me the idea for my thesis so thank you ignorant people of the internet, I guess. 🙃

[ajaxthewolfie]

“hey mom, can i get this hair style?” (it’s a calico hair dye job with orange and black and brown and bleach strips)

”no. your not a cat.”

“bro it’s just a hair colour….”

“no.”

"so much for ‘you can tell me anything’, bc obvi i can't… bc this happens"

"we listen, doesn't mean we agree"

"you don't listen to me either--"

"WHEN I SAY NO IT MEANS NO, DONT DISRESPECT ME"

"you said no because of something that isn't tru-"

"I. SAID. NO…………."

…

nice listening, mum.

[suffer-my-beloved-mutuals]

Shared this on the Narrative Declaration Discord and wanted to share it here

[agustdblues]

Mhok was the last image Day saw before complete darkness😭😭 He wanted to see his lover the last time. The person who helped him re enter into this world. Mhok is Day’s last twilight. crying

[scarecrowsliver]

God I can go on about my hatred of punchline forever. I do not like this character after reading comics of her in it. I’m sorry dc fandom I tried 🫡🪦

[lizablackthorn]

I suggest Charles to wear like this rest of his life

[queenpiranhadon]

I did a thing

So um I was stuck in a fire drill with @labaguetteisdabest and @iam1withthepeggy and we were like talking and stuff about Percy Jackson and then Ny (@labaguetteisdabest) referred to him as Pierre Johansson at some point and after a while the conversation ended with me making Mr D worthy nicknames for all the PJO characters

Your job is to reblog and guess the characters according heheh

Here we go:

Penguin Jeans

Applesauce Casserole

Greasy Underpants

Lethargic Chameleon

Cement Block

Sour Bison

Elephant Nuts

Consumed Salt

Trapped Slug

Captivating Lamp

Biscuit Danger

Normal Door

Rhino Education Department

Toe Grass

Zig Zag Neck

Weed Sauce

For the record, these are only for characters that have known last names, so you won’t see Juniper or Tyson in this :(

[rustycopper4use]

Yall-

(New obsession unlocked)

ima go melt away now

[younghurr1cane]

Is Doof a Tumblr sexyman

[katsumorning]

ANDJRBKDNEDKNGJANFJRNSHGJDNCNFJA-

I’m normal abt him, I swear…

[soars22]

NOT THE BATHROBE NO MAMES—

[rukia-writes]

Beyoncé: no phones at this performance.

The crowd: