#i cannot believe they've done this to me

[willow404]

Artists: just a sketch :) didn’t really put much effort into it

Also Artists: *posts the most refined, detailed and gorgeous piece of art I have ever seen in my life*

[mobius-m-mobius]

#the Nowhere Man who waits and the God of Stories who watches

[caluette]

the truth

[bookwyrminspiration]

Shattered Upside Down

A kotlc wings au: masterpost here

Chapter 45: Epilogue (One Year Later)

word count: 10.6k

chapter summary: After freeing Olivia from Phoenix's clutches and (mostly) successfully defeating them and the Neverseen, what have the winged kotlcrew been up to in the past year?

warnings: death (non-violent, not mc)

taglist: @axels-corner @cadence-talle @ahecktonoffandomsinoneblog @loverofallthingssmart @cowboypossume @shellyseashell @imaramennoodle @dragonwinnie-kotlc @solreefs @fintan-pyren @jazzanddaydreams @xanadaus @valentinerose529

-> ao3 link here or read below one last time :)

The light had begun to turn a warm honey orange by the time Sophie Foster glitched into the grass fields of New Havenfield. All her friends should be inside by now, ready to enjoy the feast her parents had promised to prepare--partly in celebration of one year free, partly for personal reasons.

And this time they truly were free.

No more secret defeats or enemies crawling to the shadows to regroup. They’d actually done it this time--well, as far as they knew. If there turned out to be another resurgence they had to defeat again…Sophie was going to have some choice words with whoever was in charge of the universe.

Sophie’s wings buzzed lightly at her back as she surveyed the pastures, her vigilance a new habit she’d never break.

Grass shifted ever so slightly beneath the meandering air, and everywhere she looked she saw evidence of life bouncing back.

The gates had been reattached to their fences, new trees planted where they’d been torn that fateful day what felt like a lifetime ago. All the disturbed earth and rubble had been smoothed away, leaving clear paths to the house and pastures.

And there were animals in them.

Not as many as there’d once been, but anything at all was a huge improvement from the complete desolation that’d lasted months. Until, in a burst of inspiration, Sophie had dragged a dragon here.

It’d moved out long before Grady and Edaline had moved back in--it’d taken a while to rebuild the house, after all. Their faces had been grim when she’d first brought them for a brief visit and they’d seen the damage for the first time--the destroyed stairs, crumbling walls, the empty fields that’d once been teeming with life.

But even so, determination had steadily broken through.

Edaline’d even said she’d wanted to replace the stairs for years, but hadn’t had a good enough reason.

Sophie’d wanted to strangle her with a hug right then and there, but had settled for squeezing her hand as they’d continued along.

Sophie was mostly useless when it came to construction, and she had so many other new responsibilities to learn to balance, but she’d tried to check in on the house’s progress as much as she could.

Even though she didn’t have a bedroom there anymore.

It’d stung at first, even though it’d been her idea; and it wasn’t like there wasn’t space for her to visit--she still stayed over all the time.

It’d been bittersweet, a finality to all the rapid changes in her life. One more chapter of it closed.

Because as much as she loved her parents, it didn’t feel the same; something in her itched to keep moving, her mind desperate for the thoughts and colors and sounds it’d grown used to in the forest.

The monsters.

Even before their mission-gone-awry, Sophie’d already known what it was like to be different--and not in the way people liked. So now that she’d--mostly--gotten past her fears, she couldn’t help sympathizing with the things.

That didn’t mean there weren’t occasionally close calls, but they’d become fewer and farther between since Sophie had started working closer with Echo. Ever since the glitching not-cat had trusted her enough to show her the different pockets of monsters and things living in a sort-of-truce, she’d been spending more and more of her time with them, just like she used to wander the pastures at Havenfield.

Her parents weren’t necessarily happy about that--and a few of her friends had some reservations, even as far as they’d all come. But she had to. She couldn’t explain the feeling--plenty of her friends were successfully not spending ridiculous amounts of time around wild, potentially dangerous animals as they all worked to right the world. And yet.

Grass swished as Sophie started up the path towards the house, hoisting her spoils beneath her arm to get a better grip.

She’d known she had incredibly talented friends, but they’d somehow risen above and beyond even that in the past year.

Wylie and Fitz had formed a duo of sorts, Tam occasionally a third member, serving as valiant ambassadors between the surface and the Underground. The elves couldn’t stay down there forever, afterall--the dwarves’ patience could only tolerate so much.

But they also couldn’t jump right back into their old lives, even with the Neverseen and Phoenix gone--at least as gone as they could be. There were still…complications, of course.

Several elven houses had actually survived the apocalypse intact, given how isolated they’d been--and the fact they weren’t animal preserves. That really hadn’t worked in the Ruewen’s favor.

Biana and Maruca were helping coordinate moving those who still had houses back into them--their charming personalities were a huge help when dealing with so many haughty elves, but both of their abilities to detect and understand monsters made them invaluable when scouting out the surrounding areas to determine if they actually were safe to live in again.

Of course there were still thousands of displaced elves--those who had lived in Atlantis, or who hadn’t been so lucky with their homes--who needed a place to live. Last she’d heard of that, Dex had been deep in conversation with some dwarves, goblins, and council members about the logistics behind building temporary housing. Their plan sounded a lot like what she’d known as apartments back when she’d lived with humans.

She was sure people would have a lot to say about the smaller quarters and having to live near each other--but they’d also been doing that for over a year already, and underground at that. They’d be ridiculous not to recognize just how much of an improvement it would be to actually get some sunshine again. She was no physician, but everyone’s vitamin D levels had to be seriously hurting.

She could ask Elwin the next time she saw him. He’d probably tease her, again, about when she’d first come back.

~

“You know, it’s a miracle this flimsy piece of crystal was enough of a defense to keep this place safe,” Fitz observed, screwing the thing back in place after everyone had filed inside. He had one leg hooked over a new, stronger ladder--Sophie had broken the original--and the shiny new prototype of his knee brace clanked against the metal.

“I think Ro mentioned a couple times that she rigged it up with some bacteria, so anything that tried to get close learned the hard way that that was a bad idea,” Sophie offered as Olivia slipped her hand back into hers--they’d had to let go for the brief climb.

The little girl’s other arm was resolutely wrapped around Bee, holding the black and blue stuffed bumblebee tight to her chest; when she’d seen Sophie’s house last night after the campfire, she’d gasped so loud Sophie’d feared something had broken in, but she’d just rushed to the bed and grabbed the thing from where it’d been left next to Ella.

And Sophie suddenly remembered a note in the back of a diary and the hasty doodle next to it--a doodle Olivia had drawn. Of a little bee.

“Is that yours?” she’d asked, but the way she’d held it tight and trembling was all the answer she needed; maybe it was only a small toy in the grand scheme of things, but with what Olivia had been through? Any comfort was monumental.

She hadn’t set it down since, not even as they got ready to visit the Underground--all of them. And no one had said a thing about it.

Her friends, so far, had mostly been leaving Olivia to her. They weren’t ignoring her, but what were you supposed to do when someone added a very traumatized 8 or 9-ish year old to the group who had spent the last several months of her life witnessing and perpetuating horrific violence and mind games? And who had just witnessed two very influential people in her life die right in front of her--after watching her parents die not even a year before that?

Keefe kept making jokes and Fitz kept smiling encouragingly, and Linh was always so gentle, but some things just needed time.

She didn’t know why Olivia had chosen to stick to her side over everyone else’s, but she was going to do everything she could to be supportive and helpful…whatever that actually meant.

For now, it meant holding her hand as they climbed down the stairs into the Underground full of so many eagerly waiting people Sophie thought her brain might explode trying to list them all, even with her photographic memory.

All the parents who hadn’t seen their monstrous kids since they’d run away desperate to get their hands on them, bodyguards, Black Swan members, and maybe more; Sophie fell to the back of the group with Olivia so that when they finally crested the bottom, they wouldn’t be in the center of the chaos.

Just because she’d said she’d come didn’t mean she was ready for something as emotionally intense as this--especially with strangers. Sophie was barely more than a stranger herself.

“Dex!” Juline cried as she could only assume he reached the bottom, followed by what sounded a lot like him getting tackled.

She could hear Alden sobbing as he held tight to Fitz and Biana, and Tiergan’s soft voice as he spoke with Wylie under his breath--he was trying to keep it between the two of them, but unfortunately for him, all ten of them could hear it.

“Sophie?” Edaline’s voice called, nervous. Sophie still hadn’t shown her face; she and Olivia were a spiral up.

Tam reassured her mom. “Don’t worry, she’s here. She just…needs a minute.”

“Why?” Grady asked, and she smiled as she imagined the furrow in his brow.

Sophie looked down at Olivia. “Are you ready? I promise everyone will be very nice.” Well, Ro might make some stupid jokes, but we can deal with that when we get to it.

“Miss Foster truly has a knack for suspense,” Mr. Forkle said, a voice she hadn’t heard in so long she couldn’t help the way her eyes widened as she glanced toward the edge.

When she looked back at Olivia, something inscrutable had changed in her face. “Okay.”

Sophie took a breath and led the way down the stairs.

~

“You’d think erasing them would be the hardest part, not giving them back,” Fitz groaned from where he lay sprawled on the ground. There were plenty of chairs he could’ve chosen, but apparently the siren call of the hard earth was irresistible.

Elwin had chosen a chair, and now rubbed at his temples with his eyes firmly shut.

Adjusting to the influx of memories they’d poured back into his head.

Well, they’d already been in his head, just wildly out of place. They’d put everything back properly--and while some of the memories had found their place on their own, several had wandered aimless.

Meaning Sophie and Fitz had had to manually find where they went.

It’d be too soon if she never had to do anything so meticulous ever again.

“That’s the consequence of improper washing technique,” Tiergan told them, but his stern demeanor had been unusually softened since they’d come back--she suspected Wylie and the twins had something to do with that.

Sophie made a noise from where she’d collapsed in another chair, Olivia crossed legged on the floor beside her. “I’ll make sure to consult you next time we run away and need to hide our location from you and the Council.”

“Better idea,” Grady jumped in. “What if you don’t run away at all?”

Even though they were in one of the biggest rooms in the Underground, it still didn’t feel like nearly enough space for the number of people crammed into it.

All of her friends, all of their parents, Mr. Forkle, plus Sandor, Grizel, and Ro, Livvy to check up on Elwin, and Elwin himself. And there was little Olivia in the corner, but she was making herself so small she might as well not have counted.

Everyone had been incredibly nice to her, just as Sophie had promised, but it was still a lot of people.

And there had been a lot of confusion.

~

“Soph--oh?” Edaline had paused midway to her, head tilting to the side as her mouth dropped open. But she shook herself off as Sophie kept moving forward.

Edaline carefully closed the space between them, wrapping her arms around her.

“Hi, Mom,” she whispered into her ear, wrapping her free arm around her tight in response. She felt Grady’s join a moment later.

“It sounds like you have quite the story to tell us,” her mom said with a meaningful look as she pulled back, hands resting on Sophie’s shoulders.

Olivia’s face went carefully blank and tense, aware they were talking about her.

“Are you going to introduce us?” Grady asked, and Sophie realized it was more than just her parents Olivia was worried about. The whole room had gone silent, waiting in anticipation as they caught sight of her fiery red hair. Of someone new.

“Everyone, this is Olivia,” she said. “Olivia, this is everyone. She was…well, it’s a long story, but let’s just say she needed some better role models.”

Mr. Forkle raised a brow at that. “I do hope you plan to tell it, Miss Foster.” He watched Olivia with curiosity, a far-away look creeping around the edges like he was remembering something long past.

“Hang on, are you saying you think you all are role models?” Ro snorted, shaking her head and making the vivid purple of her pigtails sway.

“Hey, we may not be perfect--well, most of us, since I clearly am--but we’re definitely better than Murad and his creepy half-elf Phoenix people,” Keefe shot back.

Did you have to use every single buzzword possible? Sophie asked him, sighing as questions broke out; overlapping each other and rising in volume, she couldn’t even make out one question from another.

What? he asked, grinning and totally aware of what he was doing. It’s easier this way! Now everything’s out there.

Now I can’t even hear myself think, Tam put in, reaching up to tug on his bangs where he leaned against a wall near Linh, Wylie, and Tiergan, who was pinching the bridge of his nose and contributing to the noise.

“Don’t worry,” Sophie told Olivia, who had drawn back even further. “They do this all the time. It’s normal--and no one’s mad, I promise. And definitely not mad at you,” she said, guessing at where her reaction came from. “They’re just really confused…we kind of ran away from home a while ago, and everything has been chaos ever since. If they’re mad at anyone, it’s as us.” She gestured to herself and her friends. “We do stupid things a lot, and they’re kind of fed up with it.”

“Are you alright?” Edaline asked Olivia, brow crinkled. “I know you don’t know me, but we can fix that. I’m Edaline--Sophie’s mom. And if Sophie likes you, I’m sure I’m going to, too. She has great taste--don’t you agree, Grady?” she elbowed her husband lightly, drawing his attention away from the insistent inquisition her friends were undergoing.

Mostly it was them being asked any number of questions and going “you should ask Sophie about that” and “you’ll understand once Sophie tells the story” and “Sophie will explain.” Great. Really supportive of them.

“Hmm? Well, she does have some good friends, but there is that b--hey!” Edaline had elbowed him harder, and he seemed to actually be paying attention this time. And to realize there was a very overwhelmed little girl right in front of him. “Oh. Oh. Yes--Olivia, was it, kiddo? I like your little bee friend; it looks very soft. How’d you get wrapped up in all this mess?”

Olivia looked wide eyed between Grady and Sophie, and she wasn’t sure where this was heading or what she should do about it when Olivia opened her mouth.

The room had quieted by then, the adults getting nowhere with their questions and resorting to hugging their children again.

They’d overheard Grady’s question, however, and now watched with curious anticipation.

Olivia hesitated for a moment, then said. “You should ask Sophie about that, she’ll explain.”

Keefe cracked up.

~

“I think they’re going to explode if you make them wait any longer for that story,” Elwin said as he slipped his spectacles on and picked up her wrists. The leftover salve back at the village had helped some, but not enough. “So how about I take care of these while you start talking.”

Sure enough, when Sophie glanced back, it was to a room full of very tense, very expectant faces.

They’d sat patiently through Fitz and Sophie returning Elwin’s memories--and she couldn’t explain just how profoundly the relief had washed over her when she’d first seen him. Standing, full of color, wearing a ridiculous shirt covered in unicorns. Just himself.

She knew Livvy was good, but she hadn’t really believed he was okay until she’d seen the grin that’d split his face and he’d said, “There’s my thief!”, wrapping her up in an enormous hug.

But they’d stalled as long as they could.

Olivia was still curled up beside the chair, intensely aware of the attention she’d drawn as she nibbled on a puffed dessert. Kesler had offered it, promising there was nothing slipped into it to turn her green or anything--though she didn’t really understand the joke.

“Fine--but can you guys promise not to interrupt us with a million questions? We’ll be up all night if we do that.”

“I seem to recall you kids made a similar promise once--and were terrible at it.” Mr. Forkle smiled, silently settling into a nearby chair anyway.

“Hang on--us?” Keefe cut in. “You’re making us help, too?”

“Well obviously. Did you really think that ‘let’s make Sophie do all the talking’ thing was gonna fly?”

“Well…” Dex said, with a pointed look at her wings.

They buzzed under the intention--and from the tickle of Elwin’s fingers as he spread something over her burns. “That’s not what I--maybe I will tell the whole story myself then, if you’re all going to be so ridiculous.”

“I can help,” Linh offered, raising her hand ever so slightly.

“I told you, this is why she’s my favorite of you two,” Sophie directed at Tam, who only rolled his eyes.

“I’m beginning to wonder how we ever accomplished anything,” Tiergan rubbed at his temples.

“Simple. We’re the best!” Biana chimed in, appearing next to Sophie and startling her so hard she shrieked.

“You are,” Della agreed with a smile, but she continued. “Now about that story? Grady and Edaline already shared what you, Linh, and Sophie told them on your earlier visit. But it seems there’s been…some developments?”

Olivia sat very still as several people glanced at her again.

Fortunately for her, Fitz chose that moment to fluff his wings, knocking a glass off the table behind him with a loud clatter--he jumped at the sound as all eyes turned to him, but she could’ve sworn a hint of satisfaction flashed through the mindbubble as Olivia blinked.

“If everyone’s done, I’d be happy to tell you what’s going on--it’s great news,” she saw a few shoulders relax--even though everyone had seemed to pick up on their light, playful moods already. “But if you’d rather mess around…”

Biana appeared at her brother’s side to clamp a hand over his mouth as he opened it to protest, smiling sweetly.

“Alright,” she said as the room fell silent, expectant. “You already know some of the story, but there’s a lot we haven’t shared. Do you remember how Dex found that tag on the mushroom that broke into the Underground forever ago? The one that had a broken chain on it?”

~

“There has got to be a better way to carry that,” Maruca shook her head, re-securing her locs back as she watched Keefe stumble by.

Sophie followed her line of sight, a snort-like laugh bursting painfully from her nose as she saw what Maruca was talking about.

Keefe had a beanbag chair in his arms, but had apparently decided that the best way to hold it was to pile it atop himself in such a way his head was nearly completely covered, holding desperately tight for purchase as he walked unsteadily onward. She was seriously concerned he’d walk right out of the village and plummet to his death, even with the new railings.

Strung with vine-braided rope and peppered with flower buds waiting to bloom, they were a recent restoration project. There’d been railings when the village had first been built, evidenced by Olivia’s account and the leftover remnants they could sometimes find around the place.

But with time, storms, and tragedy they’d almost all fallen apart. None of her friends had bothered making railings when they’d started restringing some bridges and clearing out rubble, but that was because none of them needed them. If they fell--though it would take an idiot to fall in the first place--they could just fly back up.

That wasn’t true for everyone here anymore, though.

There was Olivia to think of, who had chosen to temporarily stay in the village with them because she couldn’t bear to be underground again--and because her monster wouldn’t be able to come underground with her.

Their parents hadn’t been thrilled at the thought of leaving several impulsive teenagers in charge of a young child, so they hadn’t.

On top of Olivia’s safety, their parents were frequent visitors; Grady and Edaline had already been to the surface before, and apparently so had Della and Mr. Forkle, so they were adamant that they should come over as often as they could to…she wasn’t actually sure.

Just to be there and start making up for the several months they’d been torn apart.

“AAH!” Keefe shouted, cutting her musings short as he nearly lost his balance on one of the rope bridges.

“You have telekinesis!” Fitz admonished from somewhere far in the distance--so far Sophie couldn’t even see where he was. “Use it, you idiot!”

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER HOW AWESOMELY THIS IS WORKING!” Keefe called back, though it was muffled since half of his face was pressed into the beanbag as he continued his stagger.

“What are you even doing?” Sophie called after him, barely containing her laughter, broom in her hand long forgotten.

“OLIVIA NEEDS SOMEPLACE COMFY TO READ HER NERD BOOKS!” he called back, and she realized that was, in fact, the direction he was heading.

With Olivia in the village--frequently visited by much more qualified role models than the ten of them--she’d chosen her own house.

She’d picked one nearby Sophie’s, though she hadn’t explained why. She couldn’t help suspecting it didn’t actually have anything to do with her; sure, Sophie had been the one to promise to get her out, but they’d all helped with that.

And they’d only spoken briefly when she’d been kidnapped, not long enough for them to form a strong connection. At first Sophie had just been the most familiar face, that was all.

Living in the village for the past month, she’d inevitably gotten to know the rest of Sophie’s friends, too. She’d taken a shining to Linh, both for the Hydrokinetic’s kindness and her dragons. Olivia had also started spending more and more time with Maruca, though she wasn’t sure what drew the two of them together.

Maruca sighed as they watched Keefe go, turning back around to get back to work; they were all having another cleaning day--and this time there wasn’t any horrible news burning the back of Sophie’s throat ready to throw it all to a halt.

They actually had even more help this time.

“Is he trying to fall?” Grady asked, returning from his trip to get more rope from the storage shed. He was helping Maruca with that--and originally Sophie had been part of it, but after a few too many close-calls, they decided she should sweep instead to preserve her fingers.

“AW, I THINK GRADY-O’S ACTUALLY WORRIED ABOUT ME!” Keefe yelled, even louder since he was further away and had a death wish.

Grady ruffled Sophie hair as he stood beside her, shaking his head. “Are you sure you don’t want to leave him in that creepy abandoned facility?”

None of them were willing to bring anyone else to the facility, since they didn’t know how it would respond to someone non-monstrous, but they’d told them all about it. And Keefe and Dex had been going back multiple times a week after Marella had showed them how to get there. They claimed it was because the Black Swan wanted to know what other valuable intel was hidden there--Dex’s first visit had been brief and under significant stress, after all--but Sophie was certain Keefe would’ve been there just as often even without the excuse. Dex was just covering for him.

Just because their families knew they had wings and some…interesting side effects from their first mission gone wrong didn’t mean they knew the whole story yet.

Even with minimal interruptions and half of the story already told, Sophie had spent practically the whole day recounting the last few months when they’d all gone back. Her friends had, of course, helped; they hadn’t really meant to make her do it all, but there still were some parts of the story only she could tell.

Like how she’d been kidnapped, and what she’d found in different monster’s minds.

There were other parts of the story only others’ could tell, but that didn’t mean they did.

Keefe had chosen not to tell anyone about what the being was to him, and none of the rest of them were quite sure either.

Biana hadn’t talked about the colors she saw with anyone but the ten of them--eleven if Olivia overhearing counted.

Maruca hadn’t mentioned what she’d done to keep them all safe.

Marella hadn’t talked about how she’d met her dragons.

Linh, however, was more than happy to share details about her own.

They’d been relegated to the forest floor when they had visitors--Elwin may have been fine getting jumped by a baby dragon, but they were starting to get bigger, and she didn’t think many others would take it as well as he did.

Even though Grady and Edaline used to work with animals. And even though they were slowly getting Olivia to open up more about her monster, Goldie.

They were taking it much better than she would’ve expected, given what had happened at Havenfield when the apocalypse first started and everything since.

She didn’t know if it was a testament to the strength of their natural courage, or if the need to comfort a traumatized little kid was enough to overpower any reservations they may have had, but she was grateful either way.

“You still with me, kiddo?”

Sophie shook herself off and smiled. “Always.”

~

Standing before Havenfield’s new door of crystalline wood, she hesitated before raising her hand to knock.

The gesture made her feel ridiculous and hope no one was watching, but she didn’t live here anymore. It didn’t seem right to just barge on in, even if she visited all the time.

Her knuckles were still against the wood when the door swung open and Tam’s face peeked out.

“Took your sweet time getting here.” He stepped back to let her pass, eyes reflecting the waning light. “I should’ve guessed,” he snorted as he saw what she carried.

“Am I the last one?” she asked, though she already knew the answer was yes.

“Sophie? Is that you?” Edaline’s voice called from the dining room, raising it to be heard over the lively chatter from dozens of people all in one space.

Sophie trailed behind Tam as she joined the group. “Sorry I’m late, Mom.” She used her free arm to wrap it around her mother, who had rushed her the moment she’d seen her to press her close; her wings gave a fond buzz.

“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming at all! What kept you?” Edaline pulled back, brushing a stray strand of hair off Sophie’s forehead; it was constantly sticking out every which way since she’d cut it, but it was infinitely better than all the tangles she’d dealt with from flying. Now she didn’t even have to think about tying it back before taking off, and she’d gotten all that weight off her neck.

“Is that for me?” Olivia asked, appearing beside them and pointing to Sophie’s arms.

“Sophie!” Fitz admonished from across the table where he sat between Keefe and Alden, wings relaxed and draping to the floor. “I thought we agreed stealing was wrong!”

“Stealing is great, actually, Golden Boy,” Marella answered for her, leaning back in her chair at a dangerous tilt that had Wylie frowning next to her.

“You’ve never even stolen anything before!” Tam protested, re-taking his seat between Linh and Maruca.

Sophie turned away from the debate that broke out to refocus on Olivia, who still looked expectantly at her with those wide bright eyes, arms folded over her chest. Her hair had been braided back, though a few curls were escaping and frazzled, matching the dirt stains on the knees of her overalls. She must’ve spent the day running through Havenfields pastures--maybe chasing Goldie.

“Yes, these are for you,” she answered her earlier question, and handed over her spoils.

A DVD of Labyrinth and a chapter book she’d swiped on a quick visit to the Forbidden Cities.

When she wasn’t with Goldie, Olivia liked to spend her down time reading or obsessively rewatching the same human movies over and over again, listening to the languages of her childhood.

Labyrinth had been one of Sophie’s childhood staples, and when she’d seen it she couldn’t help grabbing it to pass the classic on.

“You’re going to run out of space to keep all those at this rate,” Grady teased as he emerged from the adjoined kitchen with platters of pastries in each hand. His apron said “KISS THE COOK”, which Sophie had grabbed for him on a different Forbidden Cities run; it was becoming quite the habit of hers.

“I’ll keep them in your office when that happens,” Olivia decided, darting off with her goods; footsteps pounded up the stairs as she raced to her room to deposit them.

A bittersweet pang coursed through Sophie.

She’d worried about leaving her parents alone when she’d decided she preferred to stay in the village; she couldn’t bear to be so far from Echo and all the creatures, and visits weren’t enough.

Even going back every single day, the distance grew as she stayed at Havenfield to help with the rebuilding efforts. Even though the most she could do was carry things sometimes. Construction really wasn’t her thing.

But they weren’t the same people she’d moved in with who were lost and grieving and needed someone to guide them back to living, and they weren’t the same parents she’d left in the Underground who needed reassurance she was still alive.

Grady’d definitely shed a few tears, but all his arguments had been half-hearted when she’d told them.

And she wasn’t leaving them alone.

There was Olivia now.

Sophie didn’t have a bedroom here anymore, but Olivia did.

There wasn’t a single moment she could pinpoint where Olivia had started melding into the family. No one had meant for it to happen; it’d simply been the result of a series of decisions trying to make the best out of a bad situation.

Grady and Edaline weren’t the only ones who had been kind to Olivia, who had visited the village and brought her gifts and been willing to put in the time to get past the thick shell Murad had put around her.

Not that that could be resolved in just a year--or ever; she’d bear the scars for the rest of her life, but they’d made significant progress in earning her trust.

But even with so many people offering her a peace she’d nearly forgotten, Sophie’s own parents had stood out above the rest.

Olivia trusted Goldie, her giant gold-threaded midnight bear, more than she trusted herself.

And Grady and Edaline had a way with animals.

As soon as they’d earned Goldie’s trust, it was like this arrangement was inevitable.

Of course she’d stay with the elves who literally worked an animal preserve; of course they’d look after an experimental little girl thrust into a new world without any family left to remember her--they already had experience with that, after all.

The only blip in the process had been the rest of the half-elves.

There was no simple solution to what to do about or with them, and they still didn’t have everything worked out.

With the help of information Dex had retrieved from the abandoned facility, the bits of intel recoverable from the burnt husk of the main facility, and the scraps of knowledge Olivia had from experience, they’d started searching for survivors of the facility fire.

And, with time, they’d found some.

There was no way to anticipate how any one person would react.

Some of them vehemently believed in Murad’s cause and had been indoctrinated by his revenge since birth, spewing vitriol against anyone who came near.

Some hadn’t even been a part of the experiments and plots, they’d just lived there because there was nowhere else in the world they could find a population of people like themselves. They’d been born into it and didn’t know anything else.

Some didn’t know what to think when Sophie found them and asked to talk.

And neither did the elves.

Originally the councillors had wanted to keep this knowledge to themselves, but there was no way Sophie was going to let them stay quiet about it; she’d understood why they’d kept quiet about Lady Vespera’s Nightfall--but she wasn’t going to sit by a second time.

They must’ve seen something in her expression that made them realize there was no keeping this quiet, so they’d elected to spread the news gradually themselves, and their world had never been the same.

Especially not after the Council had asked to meet with any half-elves willing.

The burden of arranging that meeting had fallen to Sophie and her friends, since they were the ones actually going out to find former Phoenix members.

It’d taken months, but with their combined efforts they got a dozen of the half-elves they’d found to agree to represent their people before the Council.

That wasn’t to say everyone was happy with the arrangement--the half-elves they’d found had only been the tip of the iceberg, hundreds more having survived, escaped, and reconvened around the globe.

And they were just as divided about the issue as the elven world.

Their main advantage had been surprise, as virtually no-one had been aware of their existence--not even the few elves who’d been alive when the banishing decree had been issued. It was too long ago; their ancient minds hadn’t held onto the memories, especially with the washers deployed throughout the Lost Cities and the rewritten history books replacing the gaps.

But now they’d been discovered, and they were far fewer in number and power than the rest of the Lost Cities.

So despite intense debate, they agreed to the meeting.

A meeting that had grown to include all the intelligent species.

When the meeting had started, there were only six intelligent species.

When it ended, there were seven.

Of course Sophie’s attendance had been requested to represent her friends, given just how wrapped up they were in the whole mess--because describing it as anything less than was just wishful thinking.

There’d been arguments both ways--saying that half-elves should fall under the designation of elves and didn’t need their own classifications (of course with some arguments they should be classified with humans instead). Others that they were too different from both species to be anything but their own category.

Regardless of what everyone else thought of them, the half-elves refused to align themselves with the elves given their history. And with that solemn reminder, the Council voted in favor of their own classification and broke the tie.

It was the least they could do, a first step, though they were a long way from making up for the mistakes of the past. If they ever could be.

The other species had left that meeting concerned that if half-elf/half-humans--who referred to themselves with which word depended on the person--could be considered an intelligent species, what did that mean for humans? Was it the elven-half that made them eligible? Or if the title was something that they could hand out based on a vote, whose to say humans weren’t intelligent after all? The thought had darkened and perplexed many faces, but it wasn’t what had screwed up Sophie’s--she already knew humans deserved to be considered intelligent, she just also knew that battle would be a long one, and wasn’t quite ready to take it on.

She was more worried about Olivia.

If the half-elves were establishing themselves again, would Olivia want to go back to them? She’d lived her entire live with them, after all. Spoken their languages, participated in their traditions; their faces were far more familiar than Sophie and her friends’.

Would they want her back?

Surely they knew about her--she’d been Murad’s favorite project.

But they hadn’t asked about her at all. Not until she’d broached the subject herself, the worry unbearable until she ripped off the bandaid.

They’d gone still.

“She’s alive?”

One of the half-elves from the meeting had pulled her aside, grip tight on her arm and desperately searching her face, brown eyes meeting brown. “Olivia’s alive?”

She’d stammered out some sort of affirmative, too caught off guard by their intensity to do anything else.

“Take me to her, please.”

It had taken a few days for security purposes, but when she’d brought them--Saya, she’d learned--back to New Havenfield, she’d never seen anyone so nervous.

Saya kept pushing back their dark curls, fiddling with the edges in anxiety, so different from the collected calm they’d displayed in the meetings as they waited in the pastures.

And then Grady, Edaline, and Sandor had walked out with Olivia behind them, and the unease on their face turned to bittersweet heartache at her small gasp.

Saya hadn’t said a word as they’d dropped to their knees, arms holding Olivia tight as she crashed into them and gripped them tight.

They switched to a human language Sophie didn’t recognize but still understood, and her eyes burned badly enough she had to look away--so did her parents, even though they couldn’t understand what they said.

But the love in the words was unmistakable.

“You’re alright? They’ve treated you well? When I heard--”

Olivia nodded. “They’ve--they’re nice. Where did you go?”

“I never went anywhere, honey. But when you left, I never thought I’d see you again. I thought something horrible had happened. But you promise you’re okay?”

“It’s better now since…since…” she trailed off, glancing at Sophie. “You’re not going to leave again, right?”

“Never again. I promised your parents I’d look after you, remember? I’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to find you. I had no idea where to start looking--but now I’ve found you, and I intend to keep my promise.” Saya tucked a curl behind Olivia’s ear, searching her eyes before pulling her close again.

They steeled themself then, remembering they had an audience, and switched back to the Enlightened Language.

“Sophie tells me you’ve been looking after her. Thank you,” they said, carefully even.

Edaline blinked. “Of course--Saya, right?” Saya nodded. “It’s the least we can do; no one deserves what she’s been through.”

“How do you know Olivia?” Grady asked, tightening his hold on Edaline.

Saya stayed on the ground, eyes on Olivia as they spoke. “Her parents and I were close, though they were far more involved than I was.” They didn’t say with what, but they didn’t need to. Involved with Murad and his experiments. “I promised I’d look after her if anything happened to them--though I didn’t know until recently--” they inclined their head to Sophie “--that she was still alive. I thought she’d died with Murad and Fintan in the fire.”

Olivia flinched at the names--nearly imperceptible, but there; Sophie swore she could hear a growl from a distant pasture.

“What are your intentions now?” Sandor squeaked out, squinting suspiciously at Saya. He’d taken to guarding Olivia instead of Sophie, and seemed glad to have someone to protect again.

Saya’s expression hardened, and they stood, a hand on Olivia’s shoulder; she looked anxiously up between the two of them.

“I intend to keep my promise.”

“How?” Sophie cut in, acutely aware of the rising tension.

“Thank you for looking out for her, but she belongs with her people. How would you like to come home with me?” they asked, looking down at Olivia and softening their tone.

Olivia stayed quiet, frozen--and this time there was no mistaking Goldie’s agitation as the growl sounded again, heavy footsteps approaching.

Sophie tried again. “Where are you staying?”

Saya glanced at her, debating with themself for a moment before answering; they’d worked alongside Sophie long enough not to immediately write her off. Saya had been the first to agree to the meeting, after all. And they’d stayed near Sophie throughout the whole ordeal.

“Murad established a number of unmapped bunkers in the event something went seriously wrong.”

Olivia wrapped her arms around herself tight and Goldie’s thundering form crested around a corner with all its hair on end.

“Underground?” Olivia asked faintly.

“Hey, kiddo, remember the breathing exercises we went over?” Grady said before Saya had a chance to answer. “Slow and steady, that’s it. You’re okay. Everything’s okay.”

Olivia squeezed her eyes shut tight as she listened, body lightly swaying with the rhythm.

They stayed quiet as she regulated herself, only broken by Grady and Saya’s gentle encouragement.

Goldie stalked up beside Sophie, fur laying smooth over its body--but eyes fixed intently on Olivia.

Sophie reached a hand out to brush against it; she hoped the soft strokes would travel through whatever mental link the two shared and help calm Olivia down.

When Olivia opened her eyes again, it was to Saya crouched in front of her, seeing her with new eyes.

“You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you, honey? A lot I don’t know about. Yes, the bunkers are underground. Would that be a problem?”

Olivia didn’t answer, but turned anxious eyes towards Goldie, who stared back.

“She doesn’t like being underground,” Sophie explained quietly, wings buzzing. “It reminds her of…everything. Since your facilities were underground.”

Saya stayed quiet for a few moments, brow furrowed. “Well, that’s a problem.”

They looked around then, surveying the pastures and the peaceful animals they’d been slowly accumulating, Goldie at Sophie’s side, her parents and Sandor tensely watching over the exchange, the new house of crystal and wood.

“Do you like it here?” Saya asked, switching away from the Enlightened language; Edaline, Grady, and Sandor’s expressions pinched.

Slowly, Olivia nodded. “Everyone’s very nice, and Goldie likes it here. There’s lots of space for it. And I have my own room--I even have some of the movies we used to watch!” She pushed up a little in a bounce of excitement. “We could--we could watch them together.”

Saya smiled. “I’d love to watch a movie with you. Do you like the people?”

Olivia wasn’t blind to what was happening. “I miss you. It’s…scary, sometimes, meeting so many new people. But Sophie promised me they’d all be nice, and that I didn’t have to meet anyone I don’t want to. And she keeps her promises.” Goldie shifted. “You could…you could stay here with me.”

Sandor’s face screwed up with impatience as Sophie’s eyebrows lifted.

“I wish I could, honey. And before we watch that movie, I have a very important question for you.” They waited for Olivia to nod. “Do you want to stay here? I know I don’t have a place for us aboveground, but just say the word and I’ll figure something out.”

Olivia took a moment, looking around at the new Havenfield just like Saya had, really considering her answer. She met Goldie’s eye, looked and Grady and Edaline, at Sandor, at the fields she’d started to play in and help with. “I like it here.”

“But do you want to stay? I promise I won’t be upset if you do, I just want to know what you think, okay?”

Something loosened in Olivia’s face and she nodded. “I like it here. Are you sure you can’t stay with me?” Her voice was near pleading, holding tight to Saya.

Saya’s face softened, and they pressed a kiss to Olivia’s forehead. “I can’t, honey. But I promise I’ll visit as much as I can. Every single day, even.”

They switched back to the Enlightened language. “You understood all that, I presume?” That part was directed at Sophie, and she nodded.

“Care to fill the rest of us in?” Edaline asked--polite, but strained.

“If Olive doesn’t want to be underground, I don’t have anywhere I can take her right now. And with what she’s been through…I’m not going to force her to leave.” Saya appraised Grady, Edaline, and Sandor as though they’d never seen them before. “She likes you, and she likes it here. If she’s finally found some stability, I won’t take it from her.”

“But you’re not going, right?” Olivia cut in, even though Saya had already promised to visit.

“I told you I’d be here as much as possible, didn’t I?” they said, squeezing her shoulder. They turned back to Grady and Edaline. “And in that case, I believe a proper introduction is in order, since we’ll be seeing a lot of each other--assuming you have no problem with that?” They raised a brow expectantly, almost in a challenge.

A smile broke across Grady’s face. “Of course not--if that’s what Olivia wants, we have no problem with it. Grady, Grady Ruewen,” he said, stepping forward to offer Saya his hand for a firm shake.

Edaline bent over to wrap Olivia in a tight hug, whispering, “I’m so happy for you, sweetheart. I promise, Saya can stay over as much as they want, okay? Whatever you want. And if one day you want to leave and stay with them instead, that’s okay too. We just hope you’ll visit sometimes.”

Olivia’s answering smile could’ve lit the world on fire.

~

“Was that all you grabbed?” Saya asked from their seat in the corner; they sat alone. Just because they were at Havenfield even more than Sophie these days didn’t mean they knew or liked everyone the Ruewen’s had invited. Sophie wasn’t sure they’d even met Alden before.

“Almost everything,” Sophie shook her head, reaching into her pocket to pull out a pack of mints and tossing them to Saya, who caught it with ease.

“And that’s why you’re my favorite elf,” they grinned, tearing off the plastic and popping one into their mouth.

Marella made a noise of protest, and Fitz opened his mouth to respond to Marella, but Biana kicked both of them under the table. “We are not having this debate again! Not at the table at least! Go fight it out outside if you need to, you animals.”

Tam had to cover his mouth with his hand to smother his laughter, and he wasn’t the only one.

“If you’re handing out presents, please tell me you got something for the rest of us,” Keefe begged, making puppy-dog eyes at her. Even though he knew the answer. It’d become a small tradition for her to bring Olivia a little something back whenever she visited the Forbidden Cities, and occasionally she grabbed something for Saya, too.

But the three of their’s connection to the Forbidden Cities--raised by humans and half-humans--was something they mostly kept between the three of them.

That wouldn’t stop Keefe from asking for treats and favors, though.

“Unbelievable. You save the world and this is the thanks you get?” Keefe complained with a small smile, because he knew he was about to start even more debate and arguments.

Sure enough, Maruca snorted, “You saved the world? Were the rest of us on vacation or something?”

Sophie tuned them out as Olivia came racing back down the stairs, giving Sophie a quick nod before she skirted around the chairs and mingling bodies to find Saya.

They smiled at her, running a fond hand over her head and fingering the braids Grady had done that morning.

“Saya’s taken the news well,” Edaline murmured next to Sophie, and she realized they’d both been watching them.

“Well, they said they were more ambivalent about Murad and his revenge dreams. Some of the others are probably taking it harder.”

Even after all the months spent working together, re-establishing the elven and half-elven worlds--sitting through meetings, traveling the world, and learning more about construction coordination than she ever thought possible--and even after all the progress they’d made, there was still one detail that bothered her.

A desperate, scared, lonely boy with eyes that couldn’t decide if they wanted to be blue or green standing alone in an evacuating village as his elven mother turned from him, never to return.

The defining moment of Murad’s life, the one that had sparked him to form Phoenix and shaped his vitriol against elves into what it had been.

But why?

Why had she walked away?

Murad had raved about how she’d chosen elves over him, but…she’d looked so devastated in that memory.

Sophie had so many responsibilities to balance, but the image of Murad’s mother’s bracing face burned against her eyelids every time she closed them, and she couldn’t stop asking why why why why why?

So she’d found herself before Councillors Bronte and Oralie, asking if they had any idea where to start looking for a vanishing elf.

Because there wasn’t any record of her in the Registry Files; Sophie’d thought that if she’d renounced her half-elven son and human lover, she’d have rejoined polite elven society and there’d be something to find.

But it was like she’d never existed.

Bronte and Oralie couldn’t say much to help--but they reminded her that elves don’t die, at least not naturally.

The elves from that time were still alive, even if their memories had been altered.

And so on the side, Sophie’d began the long and tedious process of identifying the few Ancients who were ancient enough to remember, of visiting them, getting permission to search for their washed memories--some were more willing than others.

There were those who didn’t want anyone rooting around in their head ever again, even if it meant they never got their old memories back--they’d been fine this long without them, after all, so what did it matter?

There were those nervous and distrustful about the process--especially if she kept her wings out for the meeting, so she’d taken to keeping them under a cape during her visits just to make it easier to talk to them.

And then there were those who were her favorite to work with: the ones eager to have their memories returned, who practically begged the Moonlark to find what had been stolen and set things right. They were few and far between.

All that didn’t even take into account how temperamental Ancients could be with how old and crowded their minds had become, nor how isolated they generally liked to stay. The majority of Ancients old enough to remember never responded to her initial contact.

Suffice to say, she’d had her work cut out for her--though Fitz had been sweet enough to help as much as he possibly could, and given the wide range of reactions to their varying levels of success, she was immensely grateful she didn’t have to suffer it alone.

Especially when, against all odds, they’d actually found something.

She’d been nearly ready to call the search off that day; she’d been here before, the infinite darkness in the outskirts of a mind that meant whatever memories there’d once been had been swallowed and lost.

The few flickers of ancient, ancient memories they’d already found were better than the complete emptiness they found in most minds.

But this particular ancient seemed so eager--desperate--to find something, that she nearly couldn’t bear the thought of telling them there wasn’t anything left.

She’d opened her eyes and looked into their imploringly blue eyes, that she found herself transmitting to Fitz, One more try.

The tug of exhaustion pulled at his mind, but he didn’t complain. Just rallied the little energy he had left to pool between them and squeezed her hand tight.

“One more try,” she repeated out loud for their benefit, and they nodded and closed their eyes, bracing themself in the chair. Their fingers dug so deeply into the wood she worried it’d crack.

With a final shove, they sliced through the fudgy edges of their consciousness as they shouted MURAD again, and Sophie sent a tiny bit of the power stored beneath her ribs in an attempt to get something to happen.

Maybe they aimed in the right place. Maybe it was her stored power. Maybe it just finally clicked into place.

Whatever it was, Fitz whispered, Oh fuck, before his mind immediately recoiled from its own vulgarity as a crackled memory surged forward. It buoyed them out of the recesses of this ancient’s subconscious with a startling instancy as they watched.

Even through the distortion Sophie could make out her face, pretty dark curls to her waist and deep blue elven eyes, dark skin, and a pinched expression overflowing with tears.

~

She burst into the room, not bothering to knock and sending them jumping to their feet.

“Nai--” they started, but she wasn’t listening.

“They won’t listen. They can’t see reason--they’re too afraid, and I don’t know what else to do,” she whispered, gripping her hair tight and frazzling it as she paced the living room.

“Slow down--what are you talking about?”

Murad’s mother stopped, turning to face them. “The council. Y--said they’d talk to them to appeal the decision, but he couldn’t make it. He messaged me, begging me to take his place. Because someone has to make them see how--how--how stupid this is. They can’t erase them, I’m not letting them take my family from me.”

“You met with the council?”

“If you can even call it that. He told me I had to go immediately, since they were already preparing to wipe their barbaric decision from their memories! Can you believe it?” she whirled to face them. “They know, they know it’s wrong--that’s why they erased it. Because they’re a bunch of cowards who can’t face the fact they’re doing this because they’re afraid--ruining thousands of lives over it.”

They struggled to keep up with her, heart pounding as they watched her pace back and forth and back and forth.

“I showed up and half of them didn’t even know what I was talking about!” she burst out, hands curling into fists. “I left Murad in--” she cut out, tension riddling her body as horror flashed across her face.

They stilled. “With Hati?”

Murad’s mother whirled, punching the wall and sending photos crashing to the floor. “I’m an idiot. How could I--I need to go back. I left him alone because I thought--what was I thinking!”

“You left him alone?” They could only helplessly repeat back what she said, could only try and understand bits and pieces of this whirlwind.

She darted back to the door, still ajar from when she’d burst in; she fumbled a starstone from her pocket and held it up to the light, not even bothering to look.

Instead her eyes were on the ground, but far far away and furious as she held a hand to her mouth and tried to brush away the tears.

They’d never forget the terrified sorrow on her face as the light started to pull her away.

Or the soft, “No,” she breathed as she faded from sight, muscles going limp and eyes wide as she realized all too late her carelessness.

And all they could do was reach towards their sister and watch her disappear.

~

Sophie opened her eyes to tears streaming down their ancient face, and as she opened her mouth to say something--anything--she tasted salt on her own lips, too.

“I’m so sorry,” Fitz said, hollow and automatic as their hands dropped from their temples.

They’d seemed too stunned to say anything in response for a long minute, and then they turned away.

Their bright blue eyes fogged over, and they hugged their arms close.

“I have always felt,” they began, pressing a palm to their chest over their heart, “that I was missing something. When I still spoke to my old companions, they told me it was the product of an old mind. Things slip through the cracks. It’s only natural. And I tried to believe them, that this space in my life was nothing more than an Ancient mind collapsing on itself. But some part of me never did, and when I heard that the two of you were searching the minds of those willing, I couldn’t resist. I had to know.”

They paused and took a breath. “And now I do.”

Sophie blinked hard. “I’m sorry,” was all she could manage. What else could she possibly say?

They continued like she hadn’t spoken. “I remember now…she was so passionate. If anyone could’ve convinced the council to revoke their decision it would’ve been her. That must’ve been why she risked it.” Their eyes fixed on her. “The general population doesn’t know the specifics of what our world went through, and us recluses even less so. But we all heard of the meetings between the species, and that there were half-elves there. Murad…I know it’s unlikely, but did you ever learn anything of him?”

Sophie’s breath caught, and Fitz’s wings ruffled behind them in surprise.

Their brow furrowed, anxiously looking between them and reading their reaction.

“You have?”

She couldn’t get her mouth to work, couldn’t figure out how to tell them that Murad had been responsible for their world falling apart, couldn’t figure out how to soften the blow.

Fitz beat her to it. “We did. He…he didn’t make it out.”

Their minds still held hands from their probe, and she felt his thoughts racing frantically past as he tried to school his expression and give this Ancient any peace he could.

They closed their bright blue eyes, as though they’d been expecting it. “Thank you; now leave me, please.”

They’d complied, numb. Fitz’s hand tight in hers as she drew them through the void and back to the village.

Neither of them moved or even said a word, simply standing there, until Wylie crossed their paths.

One look at them and he was calling a family meeting and gently pushing them into chairs beside the campfire; their fingers were still intertwined.

It’d taken a little bit to gather everyone, as busy as they all were with their different projects these days. Linh’s dragon had finally woken, and she’d been helping re-acclimate it to being awake and taking care of its no-longer-so-little ones. Marella had moved hers out of Havenfield, though Sophie wasn’t up to date on where it was now. It took Tam some time to get away from wherever it was he kept slipping off to--she saw him with Fitz a lot, and heard them say something about “knocking some sense into everyone.”.

But everyone trickled in, one by one, until the ten of them were silent around faux purple, yellow, white, and black flames and the questions became more and more worried.

When they’d mentioned calling Elwin, Sophie and Fitz had sent the memory through the mindbubble and watched it ripple into their heads, whispers falling silent as they watched.

Wylie and Biana, their resident experts on light, confirmed what they’d already suspected.

Murad’s mother, who’s name they hadn’t fully caught, had been too distraught and distracted as she’d held up the starstone.

They couldn’t see the specifics of the light, but Wylie and Biana said there was an impassive hunger to it, visible in the patterns it pulled her body apart in.

Never to reform.

She’d faded.

Murad had been wrong. She hadn’t abandoned him in that village to choose pure-bred elves over her family, her son.

She’d left desperate to keep him, and had died trying to get back to him.

His hurt, his motivation, his entire cause was built on something that wasn’t even true.

Millennium of work in retribution, months of chaos and torment, and this entire time she had chosen him.

Chosen him so entirely that it had torn her apart.

~

None of them had known what to do with the information, so Sophie’d told Saya the next time they crossed paths at Havenfield; it hadn’t taken long, they both visited as often as they could.

They’d gone quiet, then sought out Olivia to hug her close and apologize because they couldn’t stay.

Amidst Olivia’s disappointment, they silently pulled a starstone from their pocket and faded into the light; Sophie couldn’t help a pang of worry, remembering Murad’s mother being pulled so gracefully, so silently into its eternal light.

Edaline and Grady had come out then, just in time to watch them twinkle away.

They’d looked at Sophie in confusion. Did something happen? We thought they were staying the night.

So Sophie had silently pulled them inside to tell them what she and Fitz had found; something that changed everything and nothing at all.

That had been a little under a week ago, and she hadn’t seen Saya since.

But they’d shown up today, grinning at Olivia and exchanging polite conversation with all the guests they didn’t know.

Edaline and Grady had decided it’d been entirely too long since everyone had gotten together, and they all deserved an evening of fun and relaxation with how hard they were all working. For months Sophie’s days had been so crammed she could barely tell them apart. Between all the meetings the council wanted her sitting in on, helping Echo manage the forests and creatures, her Murad project, the reconstruction efforts, visiting Havenfield, and helping her friends with their equally busy schedules, she wasn’t sure she’d been this busy when the Neverseen and Phoenix had been at large.

And, another reason to celebrate, it’d been almost an entire year since they’d finally won.

But she set all of that from her mind, wings buzzing with excitement in their loose tailored shirts as she slipped into a seat beside Dex, nudging him affectionately with her shoulder.

He grinned back at her from his animated conversation with Elwin about something she didn’t understand, passing her one of the pastries Grady had baked.

As she bit into it, a small Brrr echoed through the room.

When she looked down, she found herself staring directly into Echo’s eyes as it perched in her lap.

She swore she could hear Tam muttering something that sounded a lot like weirdo as she pet it, trying not to sprinkle powdered sugar over it.

Linh flicked water at her brother, giving Echo a longing look from across the table.

Tam grumbled under his breath, and Keefe laughed at him with wings flashing white. They ruffled, bumping into Fitz, who’s own wings shot out and hit Biana.

She shrieked in indignation, laughing as she pushed out of her chair--Maruca reaching out to pull her back down as Wylie shook his head. Sophie saw Dex’s hand slip into his pocket, and she feared what he’d pull out of it--but that wasn’t nearly as wicked as Marella’s expression; she only ever looked like that when she knew something good was about to go down.

“Everything alright over there?” Grady called from where he’d returned to the kitchen, and Sophie couldn’t help grinning as she finished off her pastry, watching her family. Her ridiculous, weirdo family.

“Never been better.”

[bobmckenzie]

ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!

so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️

[yuelun]

This young man displayed the true prowess of alchemy to all, bringing with him a massive corpus of wisdom that even the Sumeru Akademiya did not possess. "The universe is heaven reversed, and the earth is a dream lost to time. This is dust, the most basic form of complex life." As if to provide evidence for this claim, Albedo lifted the burnt ash of the flower that once grew atop a Dendro Slime's head. Seconds later, a Cecilia sprouted forth from the ash in his hand. "And this… is new birth." (Albedo: Character Story)

When I've been wrecking my brain over whether or not Genshin draws the correlation between dust and ashes, and I happen to look into Albedo because of his tie (we can... call it that) to alchemy, and even the art of Khemia specifically which is the much more ancient form of it, and there it is. Now excuse me as I go ramble in my tags a little incoherently...

[scoups4lyfe]

I only have one thing to say

WHORES

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐇𝐨𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 🔞 | Oneshot

"Does he even pay you?"

Tags/Warnings: Idol!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, friends with benefits situation, major angst, mentions of sex work, smoking, smut, god so much filth, Dom!Jungkook, big dick JK but what's new, did I mention angst?, protected sex, multiple rounds, multiple positions, a brief thighjob, so many feelings

Length: 7k+ words

There is no taglist for this fic. This is a Oneshot.

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"How does it feel to be a celebrity and ending up with me?" You wonder at him over the music, making him frown before he shakes his head, pulling you in by your hands he's holding.

"What're you talking about babe?" He argues softly, letting go of your hands to hold your waist now. "I've got the prettiest girl at my side, in my opinion. Can't complain whatsoever." He tells you into your ear, voice raised a bit and slightly raspy from his last smoking break.

You just shrug, enjoying the music when some people approach you, talking to Jungkook about something you don't listen in on, even though he's still holding you close. It's none of your business, you really don't want to get too involved with his work and everything around it, but it's clear that he likes to do exactly that.

Jungkook wants you around all the time. Doesn't matter if it fits the scene and situation, if he can invite you or bring you along, he will.

Fans don't know your connection to him. They constantly battle it out in comment sections that you're just a translator, nothing else, that you're staff so of course you have to travel alongside him. And just how they can seem to connect everything to dating if it fits their 'ship' they've got inside their minds, they're also talented in finding thousands of (sometimes frankly ridiculous) reasons as to why it cannot possibly be true either.

While before, someone wearing the same jewelry as Jungkook was a confirmation of a relationship, with you its just pure coincidence. You're an adult woman, you can choose whatever necklace or ring you want, that doesn't mean you're dating him. You're wearing the same t-shirt he wore just a day ago? Maybe you just own the same, or he was nice enough to lend it to you for one reason or the other. Seen near his hotel room? Well of course, you're staff!

The truth is, that you're not even staff at all- but you're also not dating him.

Jungkook has become awfully… comfortable in his trust that fans will brush off every rumor floating around. It's why he's shamelessly grabbing your tits from behind right now just for the fun of it, lips kissing your neck as you slap them off to hold your waist instead. "They'll call it AI-generated or something." He laughs, but you can't shake off the feeling of doubt about that. "And there's no one here filming anyways. It's a private VIP zone, so relax baby." He chuckles, swaying you with him to the beat.

He's right that this is a secluded zone- but that's never stopped anything ever before, did it. One random Instagram live where you're both seen in the background and it's over. For both of you.

"Let's go back to the hotel though. I'm horny as fuck." He laughs, making you roll your eyes with red cheeks to go with.

Jungkook is a shameless person- he doesn't see anything wrong with the things he says or does if they're not hurting anybody. He's got his own opinions and he stands by them, only ever shifting his stance if there's undeniable evidence of him being wrong shown to him. And he also enjoys the more physical aspects of love.

Jungkook enjoys sex to its fullest.

He used to sleep around quite often, his charm and also wealth and status enough to make the act of finding someone willing fairly easy. Most wouldn't be believed anyways if they openly said he'd slept with them- he made sure they never took pictures or god forbid videos, and he also never stayed the night, most of the time preferred the security of his own home where he could politely tell them to leave after the deed was done, his reasoning always having to do something with his work.

'I'm sorry, I got called up to the studio.'

'Fuck I forgot I had a flight early morning tomorrow.'

'I'm really sorry, ah this is awkward, but my manager just told me to a live now, and I can't have you being seen.'

You knew he did this. You were staff at some point, after all, even if not hired by his company but rather outsourced during a particularly demanding schedule and many other employees sick due to a viral infection going around in the office building.

You'd been just another victim of his. But somehow, he ended up biting down too hard- making him taste blood, Primal hunger awakened at the mind-blowing experience he'd had, an odd need to keep you just for himself having blossomed from it all. You were a keeper, you still are- and while it's not really love, it's good enough for him. Close enough.

He reminds you, regularly, that it's not love, with how he never claims to love you, avoids the topic altogether, always tells others you're just very close even when it's obvious just like tonight that you're a little too close to just be something casual. But he enjoys your presence nonetheless. Like a dear friend, just with some deeper layers to it.

Some staff call you his personal prostitute. And in a way, you do sometimes feel like that.

Jungkook is that kind of man who could have sex first thing in the morning. Doesn't even have to wake up fully- if you touch him just a bit, he'll come to life in an instant, if he's not sporting a boner already. He enjoys the exhaustion he feels afterwards, always pushes you past your first and second O, keeps his own saved up for the very last stretch all the time. He draws it out to high heavens, has trouble calling it quits.

Shower sex he's mastered, knows exactly where to step and what position to get into to make it as safe as possible. He loves having you on his large sofa, leather easy to clean after you're both done. Sixty-nine is his favorite dinner for two, though he has to admit that lately, he's been enjoying the more closer positions a lot more. Spooning from behind, lotus, you name it- you've become more than just an outlet for him.

He doesn't know what they call you behind his back. What your unofficial status is. They'd never admit that to him, because why would they? No one wants to get on his bad side if they don't have to.

He's on his phone, free hand on your thigh as you both sit in the back of the car that's driving him back to his hotel. He's gonna get out first, make his way inside, while you'll get in later from the back entrance to not raise any suspicion. It's normal. Routine. You've mastered it by now.

"I'll see you in ten." He winks before he makes his way out the car, rushing past some fans who've found out his location, bodyguards already there to guide him inside the lobby.

"Does he pay you?" The driver chuckles, and you shake your head. "Damn." The elderly man clicks his tongue. "Go find yourself an actual man, dear." He tells you as he parks behind the hotel, watching you move, your phone vibrating in your pocket, before it stops suddenly. "You know what they call you, right?"

"I know." You admit quietly.

"And you're okay with that? You're too sweet to let yourself be used like that. Have some self-worth." The man tells you with a kind tone. "I've seen you around long enough to know that you're kind, and a nice person. Trust me, you can and will find a proper man to love you right. But this?" He shakes his head. "You know he just wants you because you've become routine."

"I know." You repeat again, sighing a little.

"You're not what they say you are. You're just a little soft at heart, hm?" The old guy smiles over his shoulder, watching you unbundled your seatbelt. "Trust me, he won't be sad if you call it quits. I've worked for guys like this for more than thirty years- they'll just jump to the next." He explains, and you smile to yourself, before you nod towards the man. "Never mess with entertainers, sweetheart. They'll always break your heart." he offers.

"I know." You say once more, before you exit the car, and get on your way to Jungkook's hotel room.

You don't officially share one, but he still keeps you around for most of the night. You leave whenever he has to do a livestream or if he wants to go to bed, and you come back if he wants you to- but most nights you sleep alone, because he deems it too intimate for you to stay.

Apparently, sleeping in the same bed is more intimate than spitting on your cunt. Interesting.

When you knock on the door, Jungkook opens. Something's off, you notice it right away, but you don't dwell on it, don't answer. It's none of your business, and he won't tell you anyways, so what's the point in just further inducing his bad mood.

It's quiet as he moves around, since he doesn't talk to you, and you don't know what to say. You wait for him to make his move, and when he doesn't, you get up to grab your sweater you forgot in his room earlier, just to have him stand behind you, hands on your hips. "I didn't forget about you." He chuckles, and you let the fabric slip out of your fingers and back onto the floor as he kisses the crook of your neck.

Maybe jungkook is indeed using you. But you've started to use him just as much, if only to even out the odds, and make yourself feel more than just cheap company.

He slips out of his shirt. You raise your arms to help him take off yours, your naked skin at this point almost a requirement for him every time he takes you. He used to be satisfied with just fucking you somewhere quiet quick and simple to quench his thirst, but over the course of time now nearing an entire year, he's become more and more hungry. Like he wants to crawl underneath your skin at some point, the Idol constantly pushes himself more and more inside your body, not just in a sexual sense. He buys you clothes he thinks will look good on you, has a playlist just for when you're at his place filled with somber lovesongs more about heartbreak than anything else. He claims he didn't look up the lyrics, but you know he's lying. He knows a lot more english than he admits, just so he can pull the 'I don't understand' card whenever he's asked a question he doesn't want to answer.

He lets you wear his clothes without much comment by now, has gifted you jewelry he's worn and liked, laughs any mention of that being 'such a sweet gesture' off if anyone around him mentions it. He's not your boyfriend, but he surely is starting to act like it- maybe the lines are blurring for him just as much as they do for you?

People around you have started betting. On when he's gonna have another one, when you'll be 'swapped out' for something else, or at what point he's gonna make it official that you're indeed more than just nightly company. You don't await that day. It's never gonna come anyways.

"Turn around." He commands, and you do, because that's the easiest way to get where you want to be down the line. Head empty, no thoughts left, fucked stupid by a man who keeps you around for just your body and the familiarity you provide. You don't really mind any longer, long having stopped caring about emotions that are fruitless, bound to rot and die because Jungkook won't ever nurture anything you'd try and plant in his heart. He doesn't want it, and doesn't need it either- if he wants to feel loved, he just has to show his face to his millions of fans always on edge for more content. That's where he gets his love from. Maybe you're just there to feed other desires he can't have fulfilled like that.

He licks his lips as he gazes over your naked upper body, bra long undone by his hands on your back, fingers trained in the routine by now. You remember the surprise he'd shown you when you'd worn one with the clasp up front, face so soft and round for just a second that it felt like you'd just slipped into a dream- but his hunger had quickly returned, because Jungkook is a beast never satisfied. He craves more and more, constantly aims for absolute euphoria, never soft, never gentle.

Jungkook bites. He claims, grips, holds and pushes- he's aware over the physical strength he holds over you, and plays around with the fact almost every night. From tugging on your leg to pushing your head down whenever you decide to please him with your mouth instead for once. Something about the way you swallow around him and swirl your tongue always makes him feral, thighs trembling as the muscles spasm beneath the skin from the force of his orgasm. Maybe that's why he keeps you around. Because you can keep up.

His own shirt is shed, and his hands make quick work of his belt before he helps you out of your pants as well. He'd told you he didn't want to use the bed tonight, because asking for new sheets is always awkward, but he does it anyways- picks you up just to let you fall onto the bed, crawling over you. "What do you want?" You ask out of breath, but he just tilts his head in familiar habit, until it shakes no.

"Don't know yet." He answers. This is new.

Usually he always has a fixed scene set out, knows how he wants to take you right away, but this time he visibly seems unsure where to start. Almost like the first time.

He spits in his hand, doesn't bother taking off the rings, fingers working you up like it's second nature. He knows where to place them, how to move and what patterns to choose- and you don't bother thinking about the possible reason for it. Probably to get you wet and ready quick so he can get to the actual act itself, or maybe he just finds some sort of personal satisfaction from it. You're not sure- and neither do you really want to ask.

You're a little cold, but he'll warm you up soon. Hopefully you won't get sick like last time. Will he find someone else to fuck if you're unavailable?

Who knows. He surely has a lot to choose from, if he so much as asked.

He's got a question on his mind, but visibly contemplates on asking it. His teeth clamp down on his bottom lip, tongue playing with the twin piercings placed there for a second, before he leans in, kisses you. This is one of those things he does that are just outright cruel to you. His kisses full of fever and want feel so burning hot that you're sure you're marked by them for life. Like a signature he's inked underneath your skin almost he claims you again and again like this, with his tongue teasing yours, mouths open and ready to steal each other's breath.

He surely takes yours hostage, every time- and that's probably the smallest crime he commits.

"Have you eaten today?" He asks, and it catches you off guard, eyes opening again, painfully tugged back into reality where he lets his sticky hand run over your abdomen, just to settle on your hipbone. "Your stomach keeps growling." He teases, and you come crashing down. Of course. He'd never actually remember to ask that out of the blue if it wasn't for something reminding him about it.

"Not really." You respond, adjusting your position a little bit, legs trying to pull him closer. "Doesn't matter." You say, and he hums, leaning down again to mouth at your neck- probably marking his territory again, a joke made on a constant whenever you turn up with the blooming bruises on your skin, their origin more than obvious.

"Hm." He hums, almost dissatisfied, but you don't bother to think about it. He moves to lean off the side of the bed, pulling his suitcase closer to get himself a condom, opening the package easily before he rolls it over his length. He seems oddly soft tonight, in more ways than one. Is he still exhausted from the shooting? Could be. He never wants to admit himself that he has to take breaks, thinks that his body can just magically manifest strength from nothing but pure thought, and it used to irritate you, because you felt responsible, in a way. But that was when you still saw more in this than there actually was- nowadays, it's his business, not yours. He's got nutritionists and personal trainers who get paid for taking care of him. It's not your job.

What is your job, really?

Well, you're most certainly not working under his company any longer, and neither have you returned to your original agency either- simply because Jungkook's management deemed you too much of a danger in your position, after the idol had let it slip that you two were having sex on a regular basis. So you just signed an NDA, got paid for your silence, now earning a living by writing books. Modern fantasy novels, where the daydreams you once had can actually become reality, and your hopes and wishes can be dreamed of by other people who have the same.

It's good money. A hobby you cherish.

Jungkook has never asked you what you work as nowadays. He doesn't even visit your apartment, has never seen it before, and he doesn't know if you have family either. He just takes you as his, lets you live alongside him and entertains you whenever he's in the mood for it. And you let him, because these days, he's all you've got. There's not much else you can do than write all day at home or accompany him on his overseas schedules.

You're not sure why he always drags you along, when back home, he won't even call you for days. Maybe he doesn't have to? Maybe his bed at home is always warm. But if that's the case, why not take them on a trip once in a while? Does he have designated women for specific occasions?

Then who will the woman be he chooses to show to the public one day? Number three in his harem?

You can't even truly blame him. As someone he grew up in this industry, his view on the world is warped, shifted, not the same colors as yours. He doesn't feel the same worth in a simple banknote that you do, he can't understand the struggle of missing the bus or having to face an empty fridge.

"Sit up, baby." He tells you, chuckles when you struggle a little to do so- compared to him, flying around all the time actually does take a toll on you. And the petname doesn't make it any better in this moment, as his hands reach out to hold you steady, helping your legs over his thighs, before he guides the head of his cock into you. He wants you close tonight it seems like. Hopefully he keeps holding you, because you're not very energetic this time. "I've got you." He says, and you nod, resting your arms around his neck, hands faintly touching the skin of his back. "Are you cold?" He wonders.

"A bit." You respond. He's probably noticed your icy fingertips.

"I'll warm you up." He purrs, and you nod. You know he will. He always does- always hot hearted in everything he does, even in this. He holds you close, hands on your behind helping you move, your hips rolling a bit too slow for his liking, but he overlooks it for once. You're not sure what's up with him tonight. This isn't him. "You tired, baby?" He wonders, and you nod.

"Sorry." You tell him, but he shakes his head, moves to lay you down, knees pressed into the soft hotel bed mattress as he thrusts his hips forwards.

"It's alright." He brushes it off. "Flight was long as hell." He muses, lazily moving himself. You're enjoying this, even if it's odd for him to behave this way. "Wanna come over for breakfast tomorrow morning?" He asks, and you shake your head.

"Can't." You sigh, arms now moving to lay above your head, eyes closed in bliss. "I fly out back home at 8 tomorrow." You remind him, and you can't see the way his brows lower, face darkening as he realizes he didn't know that. You usually fly back after him. Why are you going home sooner this time?

"Why?" He huffs out, hands grabbing your legs as he pulls your thighs over his, pushing himself deeper now. "You always fly after me." He almost growls.

"I dunno.." You slur. "Management said." You just respond. Why does he seem so irritated by this? It's not a huge deal at all if you fly back sooner or later. He's not gonna call you up back home anyways, so why does it bother him so much.

"Management can go fuck themselves." He argues. "You fly after me. I'll book the flight myself if I have to." he demands practically, slight irritation causing him to have his energy boil up, position adjusted as he becomes more restless, balls smacking loudly against you cunt, pace a lot more ruthless now.

You're finally reaching it. Your head becomes fuzzy.

You don't notice Jungkook becoming almost.. satisfied from that sight of your tension finally leaving. You're nothing but whimpers of pleasure as he slips out of you, hands tugging and pushing your legs and body to have you on your side, the taller Idol now laying down on his side behind you to spoon you, dragging the head of his length through your soaked and slicked up folds. one hand holds up your thigh, helps in opening you up, though you're pretty much gaping from his girth stretching you out moments prior. His lips find your shoulder, your neck, as he pushes himself back inside with the help of your hands-

who suddenly do something new as well, tugging the condom from his cock, making him gasp out in sensitivity. "What're you doing?" He grows.

"IUD." You tell him. "Please-" You beg, and yet again he moves as if awakened from slumber, pushing you halfway on your stomach as he pushes the now bare head of his cock back inside you. This is most certainly new, and he knows for a fact, that he's never going back again.

"Fuck.." He almost laughs, leaning over you now, body covering yours as he just pushes himself in for a good moment, humming a sound of pleasure into your neck as he lets himself relish in the new sensation. "Ah-" He sighs out, before he clenches his jaw, thrusting hard as if to make sure your body will remember him for days to come.

It will. Sadly.

"God, fuck-!" He groans out, holding onto your body now, having turned you onto your side, hand reaching out adjust your arm so he can see your face. Your lips are parted, eyes closed in bliss, and he can't help but have his hand smack down onto your behind that's moving in a way that's way too inviting. He does it a second time, slap clearly heard as he smirks at the way you clench around his cock currently rearranging your insides. He moves your leg to rest over his shoulder, reaching even deeper, hand underneath your belly button pressing where he can faintly feel himself move.

No one can blame him for being absolutely obsessed with your body.

He can feel the way you begin to tighten, thighs shaking a little as you come undone, his hands moving your legs again to close them once more, holding them up, slipping out of your clenching cunt to push his cock right between your soft and wet thighs. it's enough for a moment, though you reach out to touch the tip poking through almost teasingly, making him laugh as he suddenly sighs out, groaning as he spills over your stomach and up your chest. You're breathing heavily, and don't notice you start to shiver, as he parts from you to turn on the light in the bathroom to clean up.

Aftercare is not really his thing- and you've come to accept that.

When you sit up, you stretch your arms in front of you, muscles slowly regaining strength as you wait for Jungkook to finish up, toilet flushing before he emerges again, shamelessly walking without underwear, gaze following you as you walk past him to use the bathroom yourself.

The moment you re-emerge to grab your clothes, he's sitting on the edge of the bed with his boxers back on, phone in his hand. "I booked the flight for you. Tomorrow at 12:30." He tells you as you slip back into your underwear, not bothering with the bra as you search for where he'd thrown your shirt. "Here." He offers- and you slip the garment on with a thanks, only noticing afterwards that that's not yours at all, oversized fabric reaching almost to your knees. "Cute." He comments way too quiet to be meant to be heard, so you don't mention it at all.

"Why is the flight-thing so important?" You wonder, slipping into your socks as he moves around to find the hotel room service menu.

"Because you always fly back after me." He repeats again, clearing his throat.

"…you already said that." You mumble to yourself, but he clearly hears you.

"Fuck alright, god damnit!" He whines in complaint, rolling his eyes. "If you were to fly back earlier, you'll run right into all the paparazzi and shit waiting for me. That's why you're meant to fly back later- so they're gone by the time you arrive." He explains, and you're stunned in the spot you're standing, watching him a bit confused.

So that's the reason?

"It's not like they know." You say, unsure why he's so adamant about it.

"Doesn't matter." He shakes his head. "I'm not having them jump you for whatever reason they might have." He denies, before he sits down in the seat near the window which blinds are shut. "Now what do you wanna eat?" He asks, and you shake your head.

"I'll eat something tomorrow morning." You deny, and he slumps back in his seat, eyes closed and tongue pushed against his cheek.

"What do you want to fucking eat, babe." He repeats, making sure to pronounce the petname before he looks at you with frustration.

"Nothing." You respond. "Are we done?" You ask him, and he shakes his head, setting the menu down before he crosses his arms.

"No." He denies. "What to they call you?" He asks, and you're not sure what he's getting at, shaking your head with brows furrowed in confusion.

"What're you talking about?" You ask, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"What do they call you?" He repeats. "I heard what you talked about in the car when I left."

"How?" You ask baffled.

"Telepathy." He jokes without humor, before he scoffs to himself. "I called you to actually ask you if you wanted to eat something- but you must've accidentally accepted the call without looking, because I clearly listened in on a convo I wasn't supposed to hear." He explains. "Either way, I want an answer. What. Do. They. Call. You." He demands, and you sigh.

"Why does it matter?" You argue, searching for your leggings in the room- finding them over the armrest of the chair he's currently sitting in. "I'm your personal prostitute, just without the pay." You tell him, and it takes him a second to realize that that's your answer.

Suddenly, he wants you out the room.

Not because he doesn't want you here any longer, but because the guilt is eating him alive with ever second he has to look at you. Because the more he think about it, the more it becomes obvious to him that this really must look like just that to everyone. After all, he's just taking you with him apparently for sex, and he's become so comfortable in it that he didn't think about it any longer. It's what you want too, right?

Jungkook has never really learned how to convey his emotions properly. He doesn't know what it's like to fall in love, has no idea what to look out for. He likes spending time with you, and enjoys the sex to the point that he's been monogamous with only you for the past year or so. It's nice to be in a relationship, even though he knows this one isn't normal. It's still okay, because down the line, you understand each other. He likes you, he just doesn't want people to use that against him or you at some point- so he keeps your status to himself. No one needs to know you're a couple. Only you and him. Because.. you know that, right?

"You know that's not what you are to me, right?" He asks, and you shrug.

"Does it matter?" You ask. "It's none of my business who I am to you, or whoever you screw apart from me." You say.

"What?" He asks, crossed arms unraveling. "I'm not fucking anyone but you." He says.

"Cool." You say.

"Cool? That's it?" He argues. "How can you be so calm about everyone else telling you I'm apparently cheating on you?" He worries, and you're yet again confused.

"What're you talking about?" You ask. "That's got nothing to do with cheating." You say.

"No no no no whoa there. Stop for a second." He holds his hands out as if to soothe a raging crowd of people, looking at the carpet. "You- you do know we're in a relationship, right?" He asks you, and your face tells him everything he needs to know. "Oh my fucking god are you kidding me…" He complains into his hands, covering his face in frustration.

"How the hell was I supposed to know?" You say, now with your own arms crossed. "Jungkook, you rarely even talk to me when we're back home. You only take me with you when you've got something up overseas, you constantly tell people we're just friends, you've never even asked me out in the first place!" You argue.

"We've been fucking each other for almost a year, I thought it was obvious I liked you?!" He whines, looking at you with what you realize are tears brimming on his waterline. Why is he so emotional now? "Have you- did you see anyone other than me?" He asks quietly, and you shake your head.

"No." You deny.

"Okay. Fuck- okay." He takes a deep breath, swallows down his panic. "I like you. I don't- I've got no clue if it's love or not because I don't know, alright? But I like you, a lot, to the point where I want us to be something permanent." He tries to explain. "Just us. You and me." He underlines, and you shrug.

"Jungkook, it's not that easy." You sigh. "If this has been what you think a relationship is like, then we won't work out."

"Alright, then what do you need me to do?" He argues, not letting go. "God- fuck, tell me what do I have to do to make you stay?" He asks, voice cracking.

"Jungkook, calm down-" You start, but he shakes his head, swallows thickly, bottom lip quivering for just a second before he licks over it, pulls it in between his teeth.

"I can't-! Not when it sounds like you're gonna leave me-" He worries.

"I'm not, don't worry. I'll stay. Just.. breathe for a second, alright?" You ask, getting up to walk closer, pushing his shoulders back to force him out of his slumped over position. "Hey- okay?" You ask, and he instead pulls you closer, sits you onto his lap, before he clings onto you, resting his forehead in your shoulder. "Why do you never reach out to me when we're home? You're confusing me." You gently tell him, and he shrugs.

"I'm scared they'll see you." He sniffles. "If they do- they'll tear you apart." He sighs. "When we're out here, like this- I can just.. claim you're staff, whatever. But at home- I can't.. I don't know how to protect you." He shakes his head.

"You should've told me." You sigh, leaning into him. "I was hurt, you know?" You tell him.

"I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry." He apologizes, pulls you just a bit closer. "I don't know what to do." He whines.

"What if you just visit me instead?" You offer. "They don't know where I live. And my windows are all mirrored so no one can look inside." You tell him.

"…since when?" he asks, leaning away from you a little so that you can finally see his face again, eyes red, a stray tear escaping him that you wipe off.

"Since a few months ago? Jungkook you don't even know my apartment in the first place. You've never visited me at all, ever!" You laugh, and he sighs.

"I know, and I.. always wanted to, you know, visit you.. spend time with you but.." He runs a hand over his face.

"You're okay. We talked about it now." You nod, an action he copies. "I'll come back tomorrow morning and we can have breakfast together, okay?" You ask, but he shakes his head.

"No, you gotta stay." He denies. "I don't care if you don't like that, but I need you close tonight." He says.

"Never said I don't." You say. "You just seemed uncomfortable with it." You wonder.

"Because I snore!" He whines, throwing his head back. "I snore, I move a lot, I might cling to you at night or I sweat, or whatever the fuck- I'm not as perfect as I'm made out to be." He complains.

"Jungkook sorry, but what the fuck." You laugh, and he can't help but smile at the sight and sound of you happy. "You can fart and burp like whatever, and I'd still stay. You're human, I'm not perfect either!" You explain, but he shakes his head, leaning forwards to kiss your already blossoming bruises on your neck.

"No, you are." He says. "You're absolutely perfect." He argues.

"Not really." You deny.

"Stop arguing." He complains, squeezes your waist a bit.

"What're you gonna do about it?" You tease, and he looks up at you with a heated gaze.

"Get me nice n' hard and I'll show you." He responds, making you giggle with eyes rolling, as you lean back to tug him out of his underwear, a hiss leaving him. "Fuck, baby your hands are icy!" He laughs, leaning back to hold your legs so you don't slip off of his thighs.

"That's cause it's cold in here!" You joke back, warming your hands up on his already heated length, skin already flushed and swelling as the blood rushes back. His hands travel beneath the shirt you wear, softly grabbing at the flesh of your chest, making you get up to shed your underwear and get back onto his lap.

"Think you can ride me on this thing?" He asks, talking about the seat he's sitting in. "Kinda tired right now, won't lie."

"Huh, making me do all the work now?" You raise your brows. "And here I thought you wanted to take us seriously.." You sigh, attempting to joke- but he clearly doesn't take it as such, face becoming serious again.

"Lift your hips a little." He demands, and you do so- unsure what he's trying to do, before he spits into his hand once more, feeling you up between your legs to check if you're ready. You are- quickly slicking up at the thought of him, and he guides his length inside of you again, stretching you out once more, but this time, it's not just sex.

He refuses to move. He just helps you settle on his lap, but holds onto your hips, keeping you from moving. "Jungkook-" You whine, but he shakes his head, and pulls your face closer to kiss you.

"No, I wanna stay like this for a bit." He denies.

"But I thought we wanted to eat something later?" You ask, making him roll his eyes.

"I'm trying to be romantic here." He complains.

"By putting your dick inside me?" You ask.

"Well I don't know what else to do!" He whines. "I.. I don't really know how else to properly express.." He falls deep into thought for a second or two, before he finally says it. "I don't know how else to make sure you can.."

"..feel how much I love you."

You're quiet for a good while, watching how he rather looks at your neck than at you in particular, avoiding eye contact as he continues to move his hands back to your sides underneath your shirt. "Jungkook…" You mumble, and he cringes.

"Don't-" He sighs, clicks his tongue in irritation. "-don't pity me or something-" He begins.

"No no no I'm not pitying you I just-" You cut him off, now your hands holding his cheeks to force him to look at you. Because you just realized something in the things he's said earlier. "Remember how you said.. you want me to fly back after you?" You ask, and he nods.

"Yeah." He answers, his way warmer palms now taking yours from his face, holding them in his. "Of course."

"That's.. something that also shows that you care about me." You say. "Because, you didn't say that you were worried about someone spotting me and putting your career on the line- but that you were worried about me being in danger." You remind him, and he nods. "Or how you noticed my stomach growling, and wondered if I ate today." You giggle.

"I already wondered if you didn't- cause I didn't see you eat anything." He shrugs.

"See?" You hum towards him, running your hand through his hair. "That shows you care, too." You say.

"But I want you to feel it." He complains stubbornly. "I want you to.. feel the same as I do when I'm around you." He offers.

"Horny?" You ask, and he rolls his eyes, throwing his head back.

"That too-" He laughs. "But mostly.. just, I don't know." He takes a deep breath. "It's hard to explain. It's like chest constricts when I'm not around you. Whenever I'm home, I miss you so bad that I sometimes go to sleep early just to avoid giving in and calling you. I have to distract myself just to not think about you- and yet I still do, almost all the time." He sighs, tucking your hair behind your ears. "When I wake up.." He hums, hands moving to your shoulders. "When I do my morning routine.." He explains, letting his fingers travel over the length of your arms. "When I work out.." He continues. "When I go to bed. It doesn't matter at all." He shakes his head.

"You know you don't have to make up something just to make me stay, right?" You ask him, and at that, his eyes immediately snap back up to you, panic returning.

"I'm not." He denies instantly. "I'm really not-" he urges. "-how can I prove it?" He worries.

"You.. listen, it's not something that you can just clear up in a moment." You sigh. "It's gonna take time. We're basically starting from scratch here." You explain, and he nods.

"Do you.. should we stop then?" He asks, glancing between your bodies for a second. "Until you believe me?" He wonders, and you shrug, before you shake your head.

"No." You deny. "I'd miss you too much-" You tell him, before you adjust your legs, arms around his neck. "-And you'd probably go insane without sex." You tease.

"Not without sex." He denies, watching how you begin to move your hips, letting him slip out until just the very tip remains inside you. "But without you." He clarifies. "It's not sex I want- that's a… I don't know. It's the closeness I feel, you know?" He sighs when you sink back down. "I just like touching you.. being inside you.." He hums, eyes fluttering closed as he leans back into the seat while your hands settle on his shoulders to keep you balanced, pace slow but fast enough to intensify the pleasure you both feel. "Just like that.." He sighs out in bliss.

"I have a really nice couch, you know?" You hum towards him, making him smile while his hands find your waist. "My bed is really big too.." You tell him, and he opens his eyes a little at that.

"Big enough for two?" He wonders, and you shrug.

"Guess we have to find out." You tease, and he nods, hands moving from your waist to your hips before one of them finds your heat between your legs where he can see his cock disappearing inside you.

"Is the couch sturdy?" He wonders, fingers playing with your clit now, making the muscles in your thighs twitch.

"Ah- yes!" You whine, picking up your pace.

"Hm, gonna fuck you on it then." He chuckles. "Stress-test it." He jokes, and you whimper as you come undone, your slick now coating his own legs, strings of the sticky fluid keeping you both connected, wet sounds echoing off the walls of the hotel room. "Break it." He growls, heels on the ground helping him in shifting his hips upwards into you, catching you off guard, your orgasm washing over you in a wave threatening to drown you.

You're shaking, but you still move, needing to feel him reach his high as well, and he does find his own release, spilling whatever he's got left to give, holding you close, kissing whatever skin he can reach from how you're hugging him now, breathing slowly easing again.

And he keeps you like this, uncaring of the food since it's by now too late to order any roomservice anyways.

And for the first time, he actually sleeps next to you, in the same bed-

promising himself to do everything he can to keep you this close, for now and as long as you'll have him.

[iruiji]

° just smol headcannons before I get swamped with work for the next week (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

Also, spoilers.

- Unknowingly, player has been given the title of 'Aeon of Guidance' (coined by wonderful @amimo3, thank you) and is generally known as the main driving force behind the Trailblazers' journey - (it was originally the Aeon of Akivili, which represents the Path of The Trailblaze, but they're dead last I checked, so for the sake of this AU we'll be the main force now but like in honor of the dead Aeon), to save planets from Stellarons.

- Naturally, as time progresses with you looking out for the team, they learned to trust your decisions more. Like, if there's a hard choice they have to make they kinda expect you to make the choice (and it is you making the choice from your screen), or like hinting at them what to do. Welt and Himeko seemd like untrusting at first, but after some time they warmed up a bit and consider you as the 3rd parent of these dolts (HUH).

- The Trailblazers now get more attention than they've ever had and it's a mix of pros and cons, really. People had been contacting them like crazy until Herta helped them from blocking some of the offending/nagging ones. And let's not even start at the countless gifts appearing like crazy at the places they've been into and the people that swarm them after saving their planet/ship (for now it's only the space station/belobog).

- At the Herta Space Station, Asta placed a small room dedicated for the new Aeon filled with offerings of food (which get cleaned everyday), trinkets and generally notes and books (it was mentioned by the Trailblazer that they like collecting books and other collectibles). Unlike the people from Belobog, however, the researches are not that deep in worshipping because they're still scientists (you know how in our world scientists don't believe in god rule because it may hamper in their research? kinda like that).

- At Belobog, which the Trailbalzers saved with the Aeon, people are much more open on focusing their worship on them. Bronya has built a small temple at the Administrative District and one at the Underworld (with the help of Wildfire and the Silvermane Guards). Due to the place being trapped in eternal winter, people mostly give small, metal trinkets akin to snowflake (guess who thought of making this a business? spoiler: it's sampo.), and the wealthier ones give books as offerings (books are pricey in Belobog, I'd assume?).

(Trailblazer collects all of these, don't worry. Gotta complete the inventory y'all.)

- Let's go at Xianzhou Luofu for a moment.

- I feel like at Xianzhou Luofu, people are not that.. open at worshipping a new Aeon, since they had an ugly past from the Aeon of Abundance, and now they mainly worship the Aeon of Hunt because it's the one who've helped them fight the Mara that plagues the population of said ship.

- But then the Trailblazers came, and they are aware of the new Aeon which saved Jarilo-VI, but again, new Aeon might just be a new danger for them that's why they initially rejected their request to help them from the Stellaron.

- Jing Yuan though, he's intrigued. First, the Divination Commission cannot get information about the new Aeon (Fu Xuan cannot see anything, like Mona trying to peek at Venti's constellation and her clothes got ripped instead). It's been millenia since the discovery of the last Aeon, and now, a new, young one? How? Why? And why only now they deigned to help the universe? Shouldn't they have done that a long time ago? He surmised that, given they've only appeared when the MC woke up, they must be connected with each other - and this influenced him to consider their offer.

- What he did not expect, however, was the Aeon's gaze lingering on him even the Trailblazers left the room.

MC and co. be like: What? Where their Grace?

Ppl inside the meeting room: *sweating bullets* What is happening? Why is an Aeon staring at us?

- THEY DIDN'T KNOW READER IS SIMPING FOR JING YUAN. SUE ME LOL

- And then POV switched to Dan Heng hurriedly leaving the express after learning Blade is at the Xianzhou, and then meeting Sushang and Luocha.

- Luocha, in his credit, easily masked his shock after feeling the intense gaze from this.. Aeon? Is this the new rumored Aeon of Guidance that is folowing the people from the Astral Express? (YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO DAN HENG REALLY IS.) Sushang at the other hand, almost fell on her knees, but wisely did not comment about it.

- Dan Heng has mixed feelings about the Aeon switching gaze to him and his current acquiantances, texting the MC but the message is still being unsent. For now, the three of them navigate the Mara-infested place towards the main city, hoping that Blade hasn't done anything to his *cough* found family *cough* yet.

- HE CAN ALSO FEEL THE AEON'S INTENSE GAZE AT LUOCHA LOL (re: simp re: re: le simp) he thought it was because of the coffin, lol, so naturally he's more inclined to be cautious of it. Sushang is busy guiding them, however, and seemed not aware of what's happening.

- After another fight his phone chimed, and he checked it hurriedly, sighing in relief when he learned they haven't met Blade. MC also checked if the Aeon was on him, because they lost them for quite some time now, and he told them he's with other people and he's on his way to them, and that yes, the gaze is directed at him right now.

PLS HOYO JUST LET MY BABIES MEET AGAIN

- Idk about y'all but I chose to drink the medicine that blind doctor from Xianzhou gave me - so I'll translate that as MC questioning the decision if they're really going to drink it, but like being 50/50 about it but it's you and there's no way you'd put them in danger, so they took the medicine at the end.

- For the Stellaron Hunters, you became some sort of.. an enigma, because Elio - for all his depiction of future this and destiny that, haven't really spoken even one thing about you. And that's, well, suspicious. I know, I know, they're not supposed to question Elio, but the thought lingers. Like, is Elio not talking about you because you're useless to their mission and for that, doesn't matter? Or there's some more deeper reason?

- While Kafka and Silver Wolf met the new Aeon, Blade was already at Xianzhou Luofo at that point, so he missed it. But then the cutscene of him talking with Jing Yuan and Yanqing was shown, and he felt it. That warm, comforting feeling Kafka explained to him at one point during their last talk. He took a quick glance at the General and his Lieutenant, smirking in sadistic glee at the brief expressions of confusion as they seem to feel the gaze too, albeit quick. (Because that scene happened before MC got to Xianzhou Luofo if I'm not mistaken).

Ah, man. Kinda hard to do HC during this time coz the game has barely any story about Xianzhou 🤣 This is sitting in my drafts for a week so better just post it before I dip to hibernate ig. Maybe I'll tackle about DragonHeng during the next story update 👌🏻 (AAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO DOWN BAD FOR HIM LORD PLS)

And I'm sorry for that user who tried to request something, but my feeble brain cannot connect it and still thinking of what to do 💀

[littlegreenfag-archive]

Regarding @littlegreenfag

Tldr: Adina, known by the Tumblr urls littlegreenfag and prksoda, has spent the past several years lying about many facets of their life. The list of lies includes, but is not limited to, being half manouche Romani, being Jewish, and being descended from Holocaust survivors.

I never wanted to have to do this. I’ve spent months trying my best to encourage Adina to come clean themself. My methods were not ideal. I should not have used anonymous messages. I used to be friends with them, I should've talked to them openly as their friend. I also should’ve attempted to be less aggressive at times, even though I think it is incredibly reasonable to have felt the way I felt when I was sending some of those messages. I understand and regret both of these things. Unfortunately, since Adina has deactivated @littlegreenfag, I cannot provide links or screenshots to every ask of mine that they responded to, only those I saved at the time. I will do this later, upon request. This post is already going to be enough of a monster without them.

Though the last day has been a complete nightmare, I am satisfied with one thing: Adina came clean about everything, even if not publicly. My worry was always with the though of having to reveal their personal information, as many of the things they’ve lied about would require me to, functionally, dox them. Though it's technically all public, I would much rather that no one who doesn't already have access to this information gain it.

So, why am I writing this post? For those of you who were on Adina’s blog last night, you may have seen this post. I was also able to save a capture of their blog on the Internet Archive. Here is a screenshot that I took around when the post was first published. Apologies for the formatting.

To summarize, Adina begins to by admitting to a small lie, that they were born in Chicago, before admitting that they had been lying about their race. Though it was not present at the time of the blog's deletion, I would like to note that Adina had the phrase "jewish and half-romani" in their blog's bio for a very long time. This phrase was quietly removed after I sent the first anon message telling them that I was aware of their lies, on March 16th 2024. This can be seen on the Wayback Machine, by looking at the capture taken on March 5th, 2024, in comparison to the capture taken on March 24th, 2024.

That is what you may have seen. However, it is not the only major lie Adina has told. After suggesting Adina should turn off anons, I sent them another ask with my blog name visible, telling them that I could tell everyone about the other lies for them, if they wished to log off and be done with it. They messaged me privately, and this is the resulting conversation.

I apologize for the block of images, but I figured it was necessary to include the entire conversation. Here, Adina openly admits to not being Jewish. Adina has spent months receiving social benefits for claiming to be Jewish, and they've even used this claim to support arguments. Truth be told, Adina has one Jewish great-grandfather. How Adina expected me to believe they would know about this without knowing his surname, I will never know. However, I should emphasize that Adina is not Jewish by the standards of any main movement of Judaism. Orthodox and Conservative look for an unbroken line of Jewish women, while Reform asks that you be raised Jewish by a Jewish parent. Adina is descended from a Jewish man who converted to Catholicism and raised his children Catholic.

Regarding the Holocaust claim, I understand hat Adina did not directly address this. I will say that I find it suspicious that they deactivated as soon as I mentioned it, but they technically never confirmed it was a lie. However, with the information that:

The ancestors they mention as being survivors or victims quite literally do not exist and

Their Jewish ancestor was born in the United States well before WWII

I believe it is quite safe to say this was also a lie. My screenshots of their claims come mostly from their Reddit account, which is now deleted.

It is absolutely ghoulish to me to create fake relatives so that you can pretend they were tortured and killed during the Holocaust. All to receive sympathy.

Though there are many, many other lies Adina has peddled, such as being a child of divorce and having a dead biological mother, I don't think any of them matter much in the grand scheme of things when these are the other lies that have been told.

It is also worth noting that this is a pattern of behavior from Adina. As some of you who followed them may know, back in 2019, a blog was created with the intent of calling them out for lies. Frankly, this blog, @prksodalies , is what put me on to Adina's trail in the first place. Though I believe that several of the things Adina was accused of on this blog are downright cruel to accuse someone of without evidence, the fact that there were so many smaller obvious lies made me very uneasy. What specifically made me curious was the post, here, where Adina claims that they are half Lebanese. Obviously, this did not make a ton of sense with the half Roma and half Ashkenazi Jewish Adina we all knew. As it turns out, this was one of the very few shreds of truth from Adina. They're a quarter Lebanese on their father's side, and other than that and a Jewish great-grandfather, are of mostly Polish and German descent.

This being a pattern of behavior, alongside the way Adina behaved in messages with me, tells me that this will likely unfortunately not be the last time this person creates a Tumblr blog with a fabricated life story. I feel immense guilt at the thought that they may continue to swindle and hurt people, and that I will never know or be able to help again.

To everyone who was friends with this person and has been hurt by their actions, I am truly, truly sorry. This has been an absolutely miserable experience for me and I can't imagine it's much different for any of you. If you have questions, I'll be available for a least a few hours. I do not want to share any of their personal information, but I will share what I need to (privately) if some of you need or want more information.

[felassan]

Notes on and quotes from today’s new DA:TV coverage content from Game Informer, the video “The Making of Dragon Age: The Veilguard | Cover Story Feature”. The rest of this post is under a cut due to DA:TV spoilers.

First I'll note that the Game Informer video contains spoilers for DA:TV, so bear that in mind before deciding to watch it or read further in this post.

There were no new images, screenshots or videos from the game in the Game Informer video. There was however a series of music pieces playing in the background of the devs talking throughout. I didn't recognize these music pieces (lmk if you did tho pls hh!), so I'm wondering if the music in this video was all-new DA music from DA:TV!! 👁️

Next I will say that there was not much in the way of new information in the video. The devs were chatting about topics, info segments and talking points that have been featured in previous articles & previous coverage on the game. however, the devs seemed really happy and excited, and proud of what they've made, excited to share about it, and that was rly nice to see. :)

For the rest of this post, it is not a 'cliff notes on everything said in the video'-type post. It's just a series of notes on and quotes from the video that particularly stood out to me and that I particularly liked. ^^

"You start DA:TV having chased Solas to Minrathous. You're there to stop his ritual, there to take him down. You're there to find this character, so you're chasing him, you're trying to stop this ritual that he has already said multiple times that he is going to perform before he performs it, because, if he does, the Veil will get torn down, the Fade and the world of the waking will merge, and demons will pour out, pretty much meaning the end of life as we know it".

John Epler: "Solas always feels that he is a tragic hero, but a hero [of the story] nonetheless. So he is coming into this believing firmly that what you stopped him from doing [Rook stopping the ritual the way they did in the gameplay reveal video] was the right thing, that you've made a mistake, but, because now he's trapped, now he can't reach out and actively affect, he needs to work with you. And that allows us to provide a lot of nuance to the relationship, because Solas sees a lot of himself in you, especially the parts of himself that he maybe doesn't like to face, so there is kinda that interesting push and pull between the two characters, Solas and the main protagonist Rook. And you can define what that relationship means. You can continue to be suspicious and hostile towards him. Or you can start to see him and find that common ground, find that connection between the two of you and really develop a different relationship over thee course of the story." Mark Darrah: "This is a good direction to take the Solas story. It allows us to hopefully give a good conclusion to all of the varied attitudes towards Solas that are gonna be coming into this game. People who love Solas, people who agree with Solas, people who hate Solas, people who want to kick Solas off of a building, I think that we give you the opportunity to bring that to a close, but then tell a greater story about The Veilguard and about the world as a whole."

BioWare wanted to tell a story this time where you literally cannot save the world without these characters

The companions have relationships with each other too. "They have friendships, they have rivalries, and lean into that concept, you're not just pulling together a bunch of people who will do whatever you say, you're assembling a family and that becomes the core of what The Veilguard is all about. It's about taking this group, this found family and saving the world side by side with them."

In the game, things and the storytelling are done towards a goal, towards a storytelling goal, "towards the future" [of the franchise it sounds like], not 'just because' or 'just to do them'

John: "The message of The Veilguard is, you’re not saving the world on your own. You need your companions but you also need these factions, these other groups in the world. You help them, they help you. Now, something we wanted to avoid, because, you know, there's always the trope of, 'oh yeah, I would help you save the world but I need you to go gather 200 wood', it's kind of a silly concept, so what we wanted to build is these factions that do want to help you but have realistic challenges, problems in front of them. So narratively, you help them with their problems, they will help you with yours when the time comes, but beyond that each faction has a follower, as well as an ancillary character we’re calling 'agents', who exist as these, face of the faction. We’re not gonna get too deep into those right now, but we didn’t wanna just say, 'here's the Wardens, go deal with the Wardens', we wanted to have characters within that faction who are sympathetic, who you can see and who become the face of that faction, so even if there's moments where the faction as a whole may be on the outs with you, these characters are still with you, they’ve still got your back. It’s a core with what we’ve done with the storytelling in this game. We wanted to make sure all the content you did felt relevant. Everything you do has a purpose and has a tie back into the critical path. Sometimes it's more explicit than others, but there is always a sense that you are moving towards the goal of stopping the elven gods, stopping the end of the world, and it's not just [like how some of the side content in DA:I was]. Helping these people, helping these groups, so that they can help you when the time comes."

In the story and tone of this game, it has the highest of highest and the lowest of lows. At the lowest of lows, "it gets gritty, it gets painful, it gets dark", but there are also nice positive moments in the game and a colorful, optimistic throughline. Corinne: "This identity is something special for the franchise now and for the franchise going forward"

"the depths of Arlathan Forest"

"In the case of Arlathan, what does it look like when you go to the place where the elves had their ancient empire that was run on and fuelled by magic? What does the aftermath of that look like, especially when the gods are out in the world and raw magic is seeping back out from the Fade."

DA has always been a series where in the world, the truth has multiple perspectives

We will journey out from the Lighthouse into the area of the Fade known as the Crossroads, "which is full of mysteries, exploration, branching paths". We will take eluvians to the far corners of northern Thedas

Some of the environments are more mission-focused, "with narrative beat after narrative beat"

"We know what's gonna happen, we know when it's gonna happen, but of course it's influenced by all the decisions you've made as the player along the way"

There are also more non-linear, more open areas in which we will be able to open up new sections of the map, find new pathways, "really leaning into solving mysteries and finding ancient treasures and some of our apex battles, there are some truly terrifying enemies that you're going to encounter when you're left to your own means to kind've explore these larger areas".

"Tevinter has always been a land where mages rule, they are in charge, they make the rules and run the show. So what does that look like? And, as we've gone through DA:O, DAII and DA:I, magic has become more and more present, and part of that is because Solas has been slowly preparing this ritual for longer than anyone in the DA universe is really aware of, but also just, going into these spaces where magic is, by definition, and by the lore, much much more present. It's been fun"

For the first time in DA BW are able to let the visuals speak for themselves (as in, the technology has caught up and they aren’t just saying 'trust us, this [magic thing] is really cool')

They took great care with how they introduce each companion and major story character

Corinne is really proud of what BW have built with the CC. "It is a game where everyone belongs"

A new to DA feature in CC: full body customization with pretty robust diversity. Body shape, body size, body proportions

They invested huge effort into their strand hair technology. There are numerous hairstyles in the game, they know how much the fans care about hair and Corinne is one of these people. They know that the range of hairstyles matters too and that it is not just about quantity. "Making sure we have diverse representation for all types of players."

They took a step back and asked, how are we going to incorporate things like your background in a meaningful way?

They call difficulty levels "playstyles". This is integrated into the CC process. You can select a number of preset experiences that your character will adopt and step into the game with, but you can also customize that playstyle e.g., if you're bad at parrying, you can ease this up

Some of the locations that we will visit are "bustling cityscapes." "We're gonna go right into the heart of the Tevinter empire. We're also going to a city in Antiva called Treviso"

Corinne Busche: "[those places] have a dense populace and we knew we needed to have the tools to support a wide range of NPCs. You will not find NPCs that look alike in this game. Each one is crafted using the same tools that we're giving to our players, with the exception of some of our custom-sculpted characters like the companions. So when you go up to that market vendor in Minrathous, you can make that character. When you see the guards patrolling the street, you can make that character too. You can therefore be inspired by the population around you and go and create that in CC."

The Lighthouse as we know is our HQ and base of operations. Each of the companions has their own sanctuary, their own room within it. These spaces become a reflection of who they are. The more time we spend with them as the game develops, as we work through their arc, their room and their personality will evolve and flourish and become more complete as they trust us and we understand them better

Corinne: "There are moments in the game where two of our companions fell in love with each other and I had to make some pretty challenging choices as it related to the quest we were on, and it broke my heart, it absolutely did"

The game tries to give the player as much agency as it can, and then reflect it back on us. Choice and consequence can be hard to show, but this is a game about agency and about giving us options

We can upgrade gear and enchant gear, this extends to the companions too

The 3 specs for each of the 3 classes are highly distinct

Every attack, every swing of a sword, when you connect you feel it, these have weight

Companion abilities can be queued up one after the other

The devs are really proud of this game and excited about it. Everything that's in the game is in there because someone cares about it. The game really reflects the dev team and it's coming together well, they are really excited for us to get our hands on it soon

[source]

[vanilleandclove]

the meadow in which you lay | 3

ser erryk cargyll x arryn!reader | chapter three: one for glory, another for honor

When Prince Lucerys's claim to Driftmark is question, your cousin seeks your support as a pillar of strength. It has now been a near six years since you've seen your lover, you are near strangers, but no different.

word count: 2.4k | warnings: criston cole is a bitch, alicent got ate up twice, sexual references, give the reader a damn s** t**, clear description of wounds and stitches | a/n: did i accidentally age down jeyne? yes. rip jeyne arryn you would have loved pride month. (i still believe jeyne would have been great friends with luke and jace in my always correct opinion). also, three posts back-to-back??

previous - next

taglist: @wolvestitches @holb32 @callsignwidow

"They mean to call Lucerys's claim to the Driftmark throne? What business do I have there?" you questioned your brother deeply, as Jeyne returned back from her walk with Jessamyn and greeted you both with kisses on your cheeks. "The Vale has Jeyne for it to be protected, I owe no business to defend the piss poor Hightowers" you continued.

"Rhaenyra, our cousin. If you can help her defend Luke's claim, they would not question defending her either" your brother reasoned, only leading your sinuses to burn and head to pound.

"Brother I know you mean well, but you know exactly what they think of our cousin and nephews" you responded, "And what treacheries Criston Cole rallies into Alicent's ear about me".

"And your paramour, Ser Erryk Cargyll" your brother quirked, only leading you to glare at him. "I believe it would strengthen your reputation and our cousin's".

"I or he would have to be married to be a paramour brother, watch your tongue".

"He is married to law Y/n, I only mean to protect you" your brother defended himself, "A Kingsguard is no-".

"No match for a husband, yes, I know and made acutely aware of said fact" you interrupted, "I do not need protection brother, I never needed protection" you continued, "I will go to court only if our cousin requests me to" getting up from your seat at the table and merely walking off until your brother spoke up.

"If you plan to avoid the knight, surely you can tell him by raven that you do not mean to continue your affections had you be in King's Landing" and with that suggestion came the fall of your heart, how deeply it shattered.

You simply nodded, not looking your brother in the eye after his suggestion, you could not. If you return to court, they will twist your words, they will make a spectacle about you just as they've done to your cousin. By proxy, they'll call into question the honor of your lover. He may have loved you, tasted you, and garnered your affections, by textbook, he broke no oath. By the conservative opinion of the Hightower's, he was a sinner, he had committed blasphemy.

That night you sat pondering on your vanity chair, cursing the gods for making you in love with a man you cannot have. As you toyed with the rings that laid on your fingers, you wondered if the world be different, if a wedding ring would be donned on them. A Kingsguard is no match for a husband, luckily you did not want to be matched to another. Who is to say you were a match to a wife, as the high lords sat like puppies to Otto Hightower, with the exception of the Vale, Riverlands, and the North. You once told Ser Erryk you loved him, you told a knight you loved him, words only a fool would utter.

You ended up returning to court as Rhaenyra summoned you, the journey more exhausting than last. Six years have passed, Rhaenyra's boys have grown into young men, Laena's daughters as beautiful as always. You had greeted them upon their arrival as they trailed just behind you.

"Forgive us for always meeting in the worst of circumstances cousin" Rhaenyra sighed, her stomach had homed another child, you hoped it'd be a girl, knowing Rhaenyra always wanted a daughter or sister, "You've seemed to be glowing".

"I believe it is the thick air cousin" you laughed, "Daemon" you nodded at the Prince.

"Have you seen him yet?" Daemon asked, only earning a confused look from you. "The King".

"They would not let me visit, though I am sure they would let the Heir and his brother see to his bedside" you answered Daemon, "You two visit, I will see to it that the children will be settled down". Both Rhaenyra and Daemon nodded to your kindness.

You signaled the children to follow you, it had been years since they step foot into the Castle. Lucerys and Jacaerys found their way to the Red Keep to evaluate the guards practice, you'd join them after showing Joffery to his quarters and Rhaena to her twin sister.

At the Red Keep you quickly saw Erryk and Arryk sparring one another, as well as the spectators flooding the floor to oversee Criston and Aemond sparring. The Prince disarmed the cocky bastard, you snickered only to be caught by the cocky bastard himself.

"Lady Arryn you seem to be fond of the Red Keep, would you like to spar with us men? We have heard of your fierceness in the fields, granted, we hope you are just as fierce in bed" Criston smiled smugly.

You smiled back before looking at your nephews "Fetch me a Morningstar boys, and a shield, for Ser Criston" you instigated, all eyes now landed on you, including the Cargyll twins.

"Morningstar? To a sword fight? Scared to be disarmed?".

"Oh no you wound me Ser" you laughed as Lucerys handed you the Morningstar and Criston the shield, "Only to prevent another bloody fight like you started at my cousin's wedding".

As you waved the Morningstar around, you blocked several hits from Criston, hitting his shield twice which resulted into breaking it in half. After which you disarmed yourself, handing the Morningstar back to Lucerys, you quickly tripped the knight with your legs and climbed on top of him, his hands situated at your waist before you violently dislocated his shoulder before putting it back into place. His screams shocked the spectators, but it was not until he pulled out a blade and stabbed into your thigh did they react.

"Enough!" Erryk quickly intervened, seeing the bloody mess that leaked from your thigh, the rage that coursed through your veins immediately translated to you removing the blade and stabbing into Criston's hand to pin him to the ground once and for all. Though Erryk must admit, your sheer violence to the knight was, well sexy, it did not discount your own injury and how that worried him.

"See to that the Lady Arryn is handled by the Maesters, Ser Criston as well" Arryk told several guards, you looked at your nephews with pride before speaking.

"Now that is how you get bloody revenge" they both laughed and beamed as Erryk carried you bridal style in order to maintain pressure to your wound, you caught a glimpse of Aemond as he had a look of shock. "Ser Arryk, please do not make a fuss of this to my cousin, granted Alicent might have my head for damaging her beloved whore".

Arryk only laughed at your words before Erryk swiftly walked through the halls, quick to enter your chambers and assess your wound that was bleeding profusely.

"You are mad at me" you spoke up as Erryk cleaned your wound, long minutes have passed since he undressed your bottom half of clothing, his hands were gentle but his gaze not, "Talk to me Erryk".

"Ser" he spoke up before cauterizing the wound in order to stitch, leading you to yelp out in pain and grip his free hand, "You could've gotten yourself killed Lady Arryn, you know well of Ser Criston's temper just as much as I".

"Well Ser, it was only a demonstration".

"You are a woman, a Lady no less, if one peeped to your brother, they would have his head on a spike in the Vale, granted the loves you gained in the North and the Riverlands would surely support his beheading" Erryk critiqued, before grabbing the needles and stitches, giving your legs another look.

"I know I am a woman, I know I am a Lady as well Ser Erryk" you fought back, "You want his head on a spike and hide behind the idea of my brother wanting to kill him, knowing fully my brother would not cause such hysterics unless he'd be backed by Rhaenyra and the bitch Hightowers were gone from court" you scoffed, only earning a small smile from the knight due to your obscenities. "Do not take your anger out on me Erryk, I know you better than anyone" you pleaded, the knight's quip to hurt you by not allowing you to refrain from politics and formalities.

He started the stitches before saying "Six years, I am near twice the man you left Lady Arryn" he started, one stitch fully weaved as you bit your lip to distract yourself from the pain, "Granted, I have never bedded a woman, nor have I sought the company of one seeing that I am bound to the King. I do not own lands and I know plenty of Prince Aegon's depravities. I know more of the histories of Westeros, better yet I know how to make the unmarried, fierce, who most claim to be barren, Lady Y/n Arryn, cum. I am a man, still the man you once loved" Erryk teased, weaving the second to last stitch.

"You take pride in the fact that you know how to get me off?" you chuckled, feeling the heat pool in between your legs.

"I take pride in the fact that you loved me" Erryk sighed, finishing the stitches before aiding you into dressing up and standing on your feet, "Though, I must say no food or sweet in the land can match the sweetness of you, Lady Arryn".

These past six years taught you more about restraint than you bargained for truly, if it were not for your wound and the oath being a vow of chastity, you'd wager that Ser Erryk would have already been spilling his seed in your womb, but, restraint.

"I still hold the same amount of love for you just as I did when we were younger" you told him, he shook his head once more as your confession rolled off your tongue, "I do not jest, I just know the repercussions that you can face. I can handle the great and smaller houses calling me a whore, I cannot handle you being exiled, perhaps beheaded for betraying an oath to the King".

Erryk stood there for a moment, afraid of his words betraying him and hurting you, "I'd give the King my neck if it meant you'd love me" he told you, his hand lightly grazing your knee, your pupils dilated as your eyes only focused on your lover. Emotions of love and pain in unison synchronized between the two of you, as if your energies converged with one another. Warmth and frost rushed through your blood.

"I love you, but that does not mean I am able to lose you like every wife who marries knows…" you started, when you marry one, the implication of death separating you when the gods take your lover is evident and prepared, "A life without you is not a life I want to live Erryk, you have taken my heart when I was barely a lady, now I am a woman and my loyalty to you never wavered- neither my pride".

A knock interrupted your conversation, causing you to jolt and Erryk to discard his hands from your body. "You may enter!" you cleared your throat, being met with Alicent.

Her eyes bore into your soul, she took notice to the knight in your chambers, "Back to your post Ser Erryk" she commanded, you took a glance at him, nodding for him to be eased into his dismissal. As he left, Alicent's lips pursed, you did not fear her no matter how much she wanted you to.

"You are excused from court Lady Y/n Arryn, may you begin your journ-".

"I did not come for you, Alicent" you interrupted, "I came to court for the likes and commitment to my dear cousin, not the Hightowers".

"Just your 'dear' cousin?" Alicent quirked a brow, "Or the lover you parade around who is clearly breaking an oath he made on his own, which should be punished as such".

"As such? What your father, the usurper, would have his head for simply being a trusted friend of mine?" you scoffed, staring back at her wildly, "Lay a finger on Ser Erryk or Arryk, you will be waging a war you and your father cannot fund or survive. You forget, we were never once sisters as you propagate everyone to believe, your victimization may work in the throne, but when it comes to one of the greatest houses, it falters".

Alicent smiled in fear as you were now face to face, "One day I hope we can be friends".

"I hope you find solace in the fact that we never will be. Your grace".

As you all gathered in the throne room to contest the ascension of Lucerys to the Driftmark seat, as Lord Corlys health was questionable, the tension was thick. You still wondered what Rhaenyra needed you for in the means of defending your nephew's claim. Vaemond's vile insults that led to Daemon slicing his head in half, bringing the arguments to a close as there was no one else to contest Lucerys parentage and claim.

"Will you join us all for supper cousin?" Rhaenyra asked as you walked towards the Godswood tree, "Please I would not be able to tolerate Otto and Alicent alone".

"Only for you cousin" you giggled, "I take she informed you of the incident in the Red Keep this morning?".

"How is your leg?" Rhaenyra implored, observing how your leg had a faint limp to it, "She also insinuated you and Ser Erryk were engaged in- rather sexual activities".

"I'd need more than a half hour with him Rhaenyra" you quipped, "Criston is a cunt, if you asked me, I would not let him take my maidenhead" you looked to her, she rolled her eyes at the remark.

"We all have our regrets; you chose the better knight".

[meowdejavu]

This isn't in reference to any specific fic/post/etc, but the idea that Aziraphale will need to profusely apologize and/or beg Crowley to forgive him lands really weird for me.

For one thing, Aziraphale also felt rejected and shattered when Crowley refused his offer to be angels together. But on a much more meta level, the beloved cottage ending of our dreams cannot materialize if Aziraphale gives up on Earth and runs away with Crowley now... Even if they didn't leave the planet, how could they get a real happy ending if they were still looking over their shoulders, waiting for the next supernatural crisis to hit? At this point in the story, Aziraphale has to still believe that a better ending is possible. He has to believe he can make a difference.

There's a great post going around that points out how they're both wrong in the breakup scene, but I think it's also true that they're both right: Aziraphale is right that they can't just stay where they are and pretend everything is fine OR run away, and Crowley is right that they'll be better off without Heaven or Hell.

I'm not saying that no apologies will be necessary in the future, because I think they will be! But I also think when everything is said and done, they'll understand and appreciate the other's perspective better. They'll look at where they've ended up and think, This is so much better than anything I ever imagined for us. And (I hope) they'll both be grateful to the other for seeing what they couldn't.

[pubbamoon]

Random Astrology Observation 3

Hi and welcome to my another random astrology observation. I like this series, 'cause I have a free will to choose any placement to discuss about and I hope you do like it too. This observation might be related to both Western and Vedic astrology. Take it as it resonates and leave what does not resonate with you. Cool, we can start now!

Whoever natives have aspect between Mercury and Neptune, I feel sorry for these people, especially if they still go to school. Mercury is about learning, while Neptune is about illusions, so these people may not see things clearly or they can't communicate effectively. They can have a hard time processing informations and they may interpret things way more different than other students/people. Because of that, they might seem stupid or blunt to others, which may not be the case. Believe me, I have Mercury conjunct Neptune in my natal chart and although I can be creative and intuitive with this placement, I also have a hard time with having a conversations with the people who are close to me, because I interpret informations differently, which makes it seem that I don't listen to them at all.

Transit Pluto has been placed in Aquarius since January this year and we already see its influence in this sign. Some people from the upper class and even celebrities are exposed for their shady things they have done in the past, since Pluto represents exposing the truth, while Aquarius is about collectives, revolutions, changes for a higher good etc. In Vedic astrology, this pattern can be seen by the transit Saturn in Shatabhisha nakshatra in Aquarius, 'cause Saturn represents punishment and Shatabhisha nakshatra is about the hidden things we don't see or we don't even know about. This transit was relevant at the beginning of this year.

Speaking of transit Pluto in Aquarius, since this planet has been placed in my natal 1st house, I started to experience many spiritual awakenings and transformations I don't think I've ever experienced before. I actually had the spiritual awakening somewhere in 2018/19, when transit Pluto was conjuncting my natal Venus in Capricorn and Venus is my 9th house ruler in my natal chart, which is the house of spirituality. I cannot imagine what would happen to me when the transit Pluto will tightly conjunct my natal Ascendant.

In the context of predictions through transit, it's always important to see if some transit planet is currently aspecting your natal planets, not just looking in which your natal house the transit planet is placed. For example, I'll use the transit Jupiter in Gemini. For Sagittarius Rising natives, they've mostly heard that this transit planet is going to be in their natal 7th house of long-term relationships and marriage, which might be the flourishing time for this native if they want to find a new partner. But if they have a Saturn in Gemini in their natal chart, forming a conjunction aspect with the transit Jupiter, it's not going to be very well, because Saturn is about restrictions and hardships. If some of these natives don't have any planets in their 7th house, it's crucial then to look for their 7th house ruler, Mercury. If Mercury, as their 7th house ruler, is placed in Libra and forms a trine aspect with the transit Jupiter, then they can expect some new love to come into their lives.

Overall, that would be everything for today. This will be one of the shortest observations I've ever made, but I hope you won't mind it. The reason why it took me so long to make another post is that I've become busy in my private life. Because I don't have much time for astrology, my personal paid readings will be closed on July 19, 2024 at 10:26 AM UTC, but I'll still be active and make astrology posts here on Tumblr. So, if someone wants to book a reading with me, you can do that until July 19 this year. I hope my readings will be open as soon as possible, but I can't promise you anything so far. Regardless, I wish you all had a beautiful day ahead.

Best regards,

Paky McGee

[calirph]

𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒.

all sentences were taken from various scenarios related to arranged marriages mostly in the historical, fantasy or medieval setting. you can use them as base for starters or change place, pronouns as you see fit.

1. Arranged Marriages:

"You’ll be wed to him by sunset, whether you like it or not. The banners are already being stitched."

"Your union will bring peace to the realms. That’s all that matters now."

"I don't know him, Father. How am I to trust a man I've never met?"

"This marriage is a treaty, not a love match. Smile and seal the fate of our kingdom."

"The King has decreed it, and his word is law. You will marry the lord from the north."

2. Civil Marriages:

"It’s been agreed that we will marry, but it doesn’t mean we have to care for one another."

"Our union will be one of duty, not affection. I expect you to know your role."

"There will be no grand feast. Let us sign the papers, exchange vows, and be done with it."

"Marriage is a bond of power, not of the heart. We shall be civil, nothing more."

"Our marriage may not be one of love, but it will be a prosperous one."

3. Animosity Marriages:

"You think this marriage will bring me to heel? You’ll find I am not so easily tamed."

"Marry you? I would sooner take a blade to the throat than suffer beside you."

"I hate you as much as you hate me, but if it secures the throne, I’ll say the vows."

"This is no marriage, it's a prison, and you're the jailer."

"Forced to marry my enemy? I'd rather fight him on the battlefield than share his bed."

4. Marriages of Convenience:

"We both know what this is—a transaction. I expect no less than what we agreed upon."

"Our marriage will benefit us both. We need not speak of love, only power."

"Convenience. That’s all it is. We’ll play our roles and nothing more."

"It may not be what either of us wanted, but it is what we both need."

"A marriage of convenience is still a marriage. We shall gain what we desire and go our separate ways."

5. Secret Marriages:

"No one must know of this union. We can’t afford to let our enemies find out."

"By dawn, we’ll be wed in secret, and none will suspect what we've done."

"The gods have witnessed our vows, but no one else must."

"This marriage must remain hidden until the time is right."

"Our love must be kept in shadows. We cannot risk the kingdom’s wrath."

1. Shock:

"You’re marrying who? Surely, this must be some jest."

"No, I refuse to believe it! They wouldn't force me into this!"

"They have announced our marriage without even consulting me?"

"You mean to tell me my life has been decided with a mere letter?"

"Marriage? To him? I would rather be banished."

2. Calm Acceptance:

"I knew this day would come. There is no use fighting it now."

"So, this is to be my fate? Very well, I shall prepare for the wedding."

"It seems the council has made their choice. I suppose I’ll have to make mine."

"I always knew I wouldn’t marry for love. I’ll wear the crown, if that is what they wish."

"The marriage has been decided? Then let us move forward."

3. Dread:

"This can’t be happening. How could they bind me to someone so cruel?"

"I cannot—will not—marry them. Not after everything they've done."

"Marriage? To him? He’ll ruin me. He’ll ruin everything."

"How could they arrange this without my consent? I can’t do this."

"They cannot force me into this union. I will find a way out."

4. Surprise:

"A marriage? But I wasn’t even aware there were negotiations!"

"Married? To him? I thought they would never agree to it."

"Well, that was… unexpected. When is the ceremony?"

"The marriage has been arranged? I didn’t think anyone would ever want to wed me."

"I hadn’t anticipated a proposal, much less a marriage contract. How long have they been planning this?"

5. Reluctant Acceptance:

"If this is what must be done to keep the peace, then so be it."

"I never wanted this, but I’ll do my duty for the sake of the realm."

"Marriage was never my choice, but I will fulfill my obligations."

"It seems I have no say in the matter. I’ll prepare for the wedding."

"This is not the life I wanted, but if it is what the kingdom demands, I will marry."

6. Demaning the Marriage:

"You will marry him, or you’ll have no place in this house any longer." "I demand you fulfill your duty and marry the prince. It is for the good of the realm." "Your father’s last wish was for you to marry. You will honor it." "You’ll marry me, or I’ll see you cast out of every noble house in this kingdom." "The treaty demands this marriage, and so do I. You will not defy the crown." "I expect you to stand beside him at the altar. There is no other option." "Your marriage to her is the only thing that can save this alliance. You will do as you’re told." "Marry him, or the war will continue. This is your chance to stop the bloodshed." "You’ve been betrothed since childhood. Now, it’s time to fulfill that promise." "I demand you take her hand in marriage, or you will lose everything." "Marry me, or your family’s lands will be forfeit to the crown." "You have no choice. This marriage will happen, with or without your blessing." "The fate of your house depends on this marriage. You will not refuse." "You’ll marry him, or your title will be stripped from you." "Marry her, or the crown will consider it an act of treason." "This marriage is not a request—it’s a command." "You owe it to the family to marry her. The survival of our name depends on it." "There will be no further debate. You will marry him." "The council has decided, and you will marry. There is no escaping this." "This marriage has been arranged, and you will see it through." "You will wed her, or your family’s debts will never be forgiven." "Marry him, or you’ll be cast out of every noble circle in this land." "The marriage is necessary for the alliance. You will go through with it." "You’ll marry, or the consequences will be dire for your entire family." "This marriage isn’t just for you. It’s for the realm. You will marry."

7. Refusing the Marriage.

"I refuse to marry him. You can send me to the gallows, but I won’t say the vows." "You may have my life, but you will never have my hand in marriage." "I will not marry her. Not today, not ever." "I will die before I am bound to a man I despise." "I refuse to be a pawn in this marriage game." "This marriage is a mistake, and I will not be a part of it." "I cannot marry him. My heart belongs to another." "I will not be forced into a marriage I did not choose." "The crown may demand it, but I will not be forced into this union." "I will not marry her, no matter the consequences." "I’ll run away before I let them marry me to him." "You can’t force me into this. I refuse to marry him!" "The answer is no. I will not marry someone I do not love." "I cannot and will not marry him. No one can make me." "I will not be sold into a marriage like a piece of livestock." "My answer is final—I will not marry her." "This is not the life I wanted, and I will not marry him." "No amount of persuasion will force me into this marriage." "I will not be tied to a man who sees me as nothing more than a prize." "I refuse to be part of this political game. I won’t marry her." "You can threaten me all you like, but I will not marry him." "I will not marry for duty. I will marry for love, or not at all." "The marriage contract is torn. I will not wed him." "No force on earth will make me stand before an altar with him." "I will not be bound by chains of a marriage I did not choose."

8. Accepting or Warming up to Marriage:

"Perhaps this marriage isn’t such a terrible idea after all. It could bring more than just peace." "I’ve had time to think, and maybe… just maybe, this could work." "I never thought I’d say this, but I’m beginning to see the value in our union." "At first, I resisted, but now… the idea of marriage doesn’t seem so unbearable." "It may not have been my choice, but I’m starting to understand why it has to be this way." "The more I think on it, the more I realize that this marriage might actually be good for both of us." "I can’t deny that there’s strength in unity. Perhaps marriage is the best path forward." "I didn’t expect to say this, but I’m willing to give this marriage a chance." "I’ve come to terms with it. This marriage could bring something more than I first imagined." "I’ve fought it for so long, but maybe… it’s time to accept my fate." "You know, I think we could make this marriage work, if we’re both willing." "Strange, isn’t it? How the idea of marriage once repelled me, but now… it feels like the right course." "I used to hate the thought of it, but now I see there might be a future in this marriage." "I’m starting to believe that we can find happiness in this arrangement, even if it wasn’t love at first." "At first, I feared this union, but now… now I think we could build something real." "It wasn’t my first choice, but I’ve realized we might find more than just duty in this marriage." "I never thought I’d come around to the idea, but this marriage could bring more than just titles and lands." "I’ve had my doubts, but perhaps we can make this more than just an alliance." "If we’re both committed to this marriage, I believe we could find peace—and maybe something more." "I once thought I’d be miserable, but now I see… perhaps there’s hope for us after all." "We might not have chosen each other, but I think there’s a way forward in this marriage." "I didn’t expect to ever feel this way, but I’m beginning to look forward to our wedding." "Maybe this marriage was meant to be. There’s potential for more here than either of us anticipated." "I used to dread the idea of being married, but with you… maybe it won’t be so bad." "It seems strange to say, but I’m actually beginning to warm to the idea of being your spouse."

9. The wedding night.

"So… this is it, then? Our wedding night. Are you as nervous as I am?" "I know we’re bound by duty, but tonight… let’s forget everything else and just be ourselves." "Do you think we’ll remember this night with fondness? Or as just another part of our duty?" "I won’t pretend this isn’t strange, but… we’ve made it this far. Let’s take the rest one step at a time." "You don’t need to worry. Tonight will be whatever we choose it to be." "This is the part of marriage no one really talks about, isn’t it?" "There’s no rush. We’ve just the night and the rest of our lives ahead of us." "Are you sure you're comfortable with this? We can go slow if that’s what you prefer." "I’ve waited for this moment for so long, but now that it’s here… I don’t know where to begin." "There’s no need for fear. We’re in this together now, for better or worse." "I know you didn’t choose this marriage, but tonight… I hope we can find some common ground." "I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually looking forward to this part of the wedding." "This night doesn’t have to be perfect. Just… ours." "I’ve been told what’s expected of us, but I’d rather we create our own expectations." "We’re alone now. No court, no family, just us. What do you want tonight to be?" "You look… beautiful. I know this isn’t easy, but I want you to know I’m here for you." "We’ve gone through the ceremony. Now comes the real challenge, doesn’t it?" "I hope you don’t expect too much from me tonight. I’ve never done this before." "No one ever told me how awkward a wedding night might be. Shall we just talk for a while?" "Tonight is about more than just obligation. I want this to mean something for both of us." "I’m not sure what happens next, but I’d like to figure it out together." "It’s just you and me now. No expectations, no pressure—just us." "Shall we make this night one to remember for something other than just duty?" "I know this is part of the marriage, but… I want you to know you have a choice in how it goes." "We can take our time. This night is ours, and no one else’s."

[sunsetonthewall]

Imposter Syndrome. The phenomenon no one seems to talk about. So let's talk about it.

~

Growing up, I was accustomed to age gaps in relationships.

In my family-oriented neighborhood, small children were always present, playing ignorantly of life's dangers while "slow: children playing" signs littering the sidewalks and gutters. Most often, one's best friends would be the other children somewhere along this neighborhood.

Mine were two little girls, five to six years younger than I was. I would come home from elementary school everyday and we would play until the sun set and we could hear my parents calling out from the other side of the wall which separated us. I would go home to my parents who were almost ten years apart in age. Everywhere I looked, one was always older than the other, and it always seemed to work out; in fact, they were happy.

So every Sunday during Christcare, a meeting in which family friends got together to talk about Christian faith, I was always confused when I would be shut out by the other three girls in the group.

I would often ask myself why this was happening as I rested my head against the closed door of one of the girl’s bedrooms. As the three pushed me out and locked the door, I would often hear excuses such as "go hang out with the younger kids," or, "this is the big kid room." I was confused, because they were only a year older. Why am I not big like them? Why are they suddenly the Goliath to my David? What have I done to make them think I was so little?

And suddenly, I was little no matter where I went. So little that in highschool, seven years later, I avoided my upperclassmen in hopes that they would remain uneducated with my certain inability to grow up. And when conversing with my peers could not be avoided, my hands would sweat, my knees would wobble, and my eyes would stay trained to the floor.

That emotion of feeling tiny when around others eventually evolved into feeling like everything I was doing was wrong. I felt like a fraud wherever I went. Imposter syndrome, as my therapist had called it. That name stuck with me for a long time.

Imposter.

The rough definition of imposter syndrome is believing that one will never be able to achieve success, as if success was never meant for them, nor will ever be. In terms of my life, success for me meant making meaningful relationships and being happy with those who I deemed “better” than I believed myself to be.

According to the American Psychological Association, "Up to 82% of people face feelings of impostor phenomenon, struggling with the sense they haven't earned what they've achieved and are a fraud." It's something that I still struggle with, and will struggle with for a while.

Eventually, two of the girls became friends to me, while one moved away many years ago, our broken relationship unresolved. They changed me, and while I cannot in good conscience say that it was in a good way, they taught me the importance of self acceptance and forgiveness, lessons I would not have considered if not for my past.

However, in the end this essay is not for me. Mental health is important, and awareness is even more vital.

Pauline Rose Clance, psychologist and professor at Georgia State University said, “It’s a phenomenon experienced by many, and remembering that can help normalize it."

It is almost effortless to forget our worth, and it can be hard to understand that our friends and family contribute a considerate amount to how we feel about ourselves.

I urge myself and anyone reading that we are worth it, and we deserve success.

written by sunsetonthewall