#i cannot hype this game up enough

[nylarac]

hi play pokemon infinite fusion <3

[televenus]

youre so real for this

😭 like. yeah yeah fnaf is cringe but look man i was a kid when it came out. i was exactly the crowd and was fully immersed in all the hype and truly the early days feeling of community between the teasers and theories was like nothing else. probably the first time i was really Involved with something online and the in depth retrospective from somebody else who was lost in the sauce is just so compelling and nostalgic

[papil0nglegs]

Friday night night funkin dating hcs!!

Warnings: Some nsfw stuff but nothing too far, boob grabbing, bra stealing, nudes but not rlly

A/n: I HAVE ANOTHER OBSESSION UGHHH, anyways!! I’m so happy the fandom is reviving bc of the new update ahh. Also I didn’t rlly know what to put for bc so apologies if you wanted more of him :(

Keith (bf):

He’s such a flower sniffer istg

He’s like a rosy cheeked sweetheart who brings you heart chocolate every time he visits you

No but actually he’s wrapped around your fingers, it’s scary.

His fav dates are you and him alone at his house watching Godzilla movies and laying his head against your stomach while you play with his hair

AND YOU WEAR HIS HAT

Sometimes you’ll send a pic of you in his boxers that he left at your house just to tease him

But whenever he feels silly (which is all the time) he’ll send a picture of him in your bra for funsies

“I can do that too :D”

“0_•”

Keith is such a nerd, playing video games with him is your go to date

You guys would always match, like whenever you two play Mario kart he’d be toad and you’d be toadette

You hype him up sm, esp when playing Fortnite 😭

Y’all know that one Tik tok audio that goes

“Yeah get his ass FUCKING PUSSY TRY THE FUCK AGAIN BITCH, TRY THE FUCK AGAIII”

You do that, and it scares him.

His fav activity? Pot + cartoons.

You guys are the silliest couples ever. Laughing at SpongeBob with fog all over the room until your ribs start to hurt.

“Babes.. do you think that like-Starfires armpits are also pink?”

“…woah”

Pico:

Now when pico first starting dating you he thought you were just another chick to stuff his wiener in.

But soon enough, you guys were both wrapped around each others finger.

He’d kill for you tbh

Pico canonically has abs, so he likes it whenever he’s chilling with you and you just poke/rub them. He thinks it’s the cutest AND hottest shit ever

This man cannot get enough of your boobies, whenever he’s on his phone he’d have his arm around you and casually use your boob as a stress ball.

Sometimes he’ll just steal your bras whenever you’re showering or changing, just so that he can get a fresh look at ‘his girls’ (that’s what he calls them)

“Pico!! Have you seen my bra?”

“Hm? Na babe, I’m js here.”

This sly fuckin ginger

Most of his dates consist of going to his fav burger joint or sleeping over at each others houses

He esp loves the second one cuz he gets to makeout with you, prob his fav thing to do in this life.

Whenever you guys leave any function, like ever, he’ll yell out your ship name as he leaves the room 😭

“Pi-y/n, OUT”

“Babe you don’t have to do that every time we leave..”

Also his dad (Tankmen) loves embarrassing him in front of you.

(Tankmen) “Yeah so Pico kept pissing himself in the bed until 7th grade, shit had me concerned but turns out it was just normal puberty shit.”

(You)“Oh..”

“Dad I’m gonna kill you.”

Lmao he did eventually

Darnell

Darnell has such a big ego on being a ‘cool tough guy’, but when it comes to you it entirely washes away

It embarrasses him whenever he’s around his friends and you come over and start smooching him all over his face, getting lipgloss/lipstick all over him

“Mwah mwah mwah!!”

“B-baby. Babe, you’re ruining my aura.”

But he loves showing you off, you’re like his biggest flex. Whenever he hangs with his friends he always shows pictures of you like you’re his newborn

“Yeah so this is when we went to the skate park the other week and-“

“Dude. This is like the 5th picture you’ve shown me of them.”

Once for Valentine’s Day, he surprised you by spray painting an entire wall of you smooching him. (But like in the style of the fnf stickers they sell)

You were in such awe, you almost cried.

He was so embarrassed to show you at first, but when he saw how much you loved it he was so relieved

You and Nene are such besties

Like, squealing while talking about boys besties

“HII Y/N!!! :33”

“OMG HEY NENE!! ^^”

So when she found out you had a crush on Darnell, she was so excited

You guys became delusional abt him together, like

“NENE TODAY DARNELL LOOKED AT ME”

“STOPP HE WANTS YOU SO BADD”

“IKR”

O and your weapon (cuz everyone in picos friendgroup has one) is a broken glass bottle of whatever your fav drink is

Sometimes you’ll throw in a burning rag in there to make a Molotov cocktail

Also I hc that Darnell has thick silver rings and you love how they feel against your neck whenever you guys are smooching.

He lets you wear them at times but they always slip off because our boy has some THICK fingers.

[missterious-figure]

Peacock y/n + peacock bois

I cannot remember what i was going on about in previous ask.

Peacock Y/n would be aggressive towards peacock Sun, Moon and Eclipse at first. But gradually it would turn into a sweeter situation.

Have some doodles of the four of them being goobs!

You never really knew when it happened. When you had fallen so deeply in love. You had hated them... those celestial peacock brothers, Sun, Moon and Eclipse. Just looking at them used to bring out a feeling of disgust in your gut. Now all you gut could do was make butterflies when you were faced before them.

Everything had started out great for you. You had your own private room. A handler to abide to your every wish. Your appearance to the public was so hyped and anticipated people were begging for you to perform early. And when you did do your first performance at the Birds of Paradise casino was a big hit, so much so you were immediately reassigned to dance with the three bastards. That's when things become less ideal.

As soon as you met them your guard was up. You had heard enough about them to know they were the type to get under your skin. You didn't have to wait long to be proven right. During every dance they always tried to one up you. Afterwards they would tease and taunt you every second they got. They weren't outwardly mean or calling you names- besides pet names- they just relentless flirted with you and tried to get you flustered. You soon had enough and were determined to show them their place in the nonexistent pecking order. But they already knew their place. The top, as far as they were concerned.

You tried your best to knock them down a peg, but every time you did, every time you fought back, it only made things worse. They would only try harder to accommodate to your challenge. The brothers were getting more physical the more you resisted their teasing. Sun was leaving kisses on you forhead and cheek. Moon started bringing you treats and refusing to let you leave until he could feed them all to you. Eclipse groomed you and styled your feathers to his liking, telling you how handsome you looked.

Finally, after so long, you caved and stopped fighting so much. All their actions becoming less teasing. They were becoming much more sweet. It actually felt like they genuinely loved you. Maybe they had always loved you, but they just didn't know how to express it properly... but they did seem a bit sad. They missed the feisty you.

So you decide that if they wanted it, they would get it. You weren't as mean or indifferent as before. It was more of a friendly aggression. You began trying to find ways to fluster them back, which you found was quite easy. You hadn't thought of it before. You mostly retorted them or become mean. But flustering them was more rewarding. You loved seeing their feathers bristle when you planted a sneaky kiss on one of their cheeks and ran away. You came to love the games of chase that would ensue afterwards, the vengeful little kisses they would get back once they caught you. Your favorite thing of all was when you snuggled up with them at the end of the day in one of your private rooms. You would cuddle and coo to each other until you all fell asleep.

You didn't mind the butterflies in your stomach anymore. You loved your bastard boyfriends so much. But you had to admit, sometimes, you did still hate their guts.

[adhdtsukasa]

tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.

please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.

also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.

anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!

1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR

i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!

in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.

these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.

FORGETFULNESS

i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.

EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT

while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.

in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.

oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)

he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.

LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER

this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.

does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.

update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.

DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET

while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)

tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.

and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.

(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)

if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.

IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER

again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.

it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.

another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.

INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS

if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.

other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.

so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.

from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.

however, there is obviously one more thing...

HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST

obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.

is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.

i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.

2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).

of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.

won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)

THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET

besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).

other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.

TONDEMO-WONDERZ

since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.

from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.

88 SHOOTING STARS

another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.

aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.

you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.

tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.

MR SHOWTIME

mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff

there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.

also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.

from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.

i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.

oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.

to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.

i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.

3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

listen, i know how it sounds.

i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.

for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...

he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.

and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.

(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)

and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.

nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.

tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?

if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?

and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.

however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.

aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!

is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.

feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao

...i hate ending analyses.

[kteezy997]

NSFW ALPHABET

Elio Perlman

I will follow the template this time hehe

Aftercare: Elio will gladly find a t-shirt to clean you up with. Also, cuddles, lots of cuddles.

Body Part: His favorite part of his body is probably his torso. He loves for you to cover his slim tummy and chest in kisses. His favorite body part of yours is your lips. He could kiss them and caress them with his fingers all day long.

Cum: He loves for you to swallow his cum, and he also likes to see his cum on your body, anywhere on your body. He is fascinated by the fact he carries the substance that could impregnate a woman. He loves to taste your cum as well. He loves to try and get you to squirt so he can gulp it down.

Dirty Secret: He told you that he once fucked a peach. You didn't believe him at first, so after weeks of asking and asking him, he finally let you watch him do it again.

Experience: Elio is somewhat experienced with girls and with one guy. He is not an expert by any means, but he is very sexually curious and loves to explore.

Favorite Position: He likes doggy. He isn't a very big or imposing man, so he likes how powerful and in-control the position makes him feel.

Goofy: He tries to be serious and mature during sex, but sometimes afterwards he is able to giggle with you.

Hair: He is well groomed and shaves regularly.

Intimacy: Elio is a lover boy. He is quite romantic; he loves to look into your eyes and hold your hand during sex. He also loves making love outside under the moonlight and the stars.

Jack Off: He is a typical young male and masturbates often.

Kink: He likes to bring food into sex, especially fruit grown from the Perlman's backyard.

Location: His favorite place to have sex would probably be his hiding place in the house, the attic.

Motivation (turn ons): He is easily turned on. It could be something as simple as seeing you in a bikini or seeing melted ice cream dripping from your lip on a hot day.

No (Something he will NOT do): He will not hit or slap or inflict pain onto you, ever. He's a lover boy, remember?

Oral Sex: Of course he likes to receive, but he is much more of a giver. He gets better every time he does it. Perhaps he found tips on how to do it in one of his books?

Pace: Usually, he is slow and sensual. He doesn't want it to end too fast. Plus, it's more romantic that way.

Quickie: He's always down for a quickie, he enjoys sneaky sex.

Risk: He is game to experiment and take risks, to an extent. He wouldn't want his parents to know about his exploits and have them be disappointed in him.

Stamina: He can usually only go about two rounds at one time. But he can last a long time if he is pacing himself.

Toys: He doesn't use sex toys (besides a peach), but that is not to say he won't be interested in them in the future.

Unfair (teasing): Elio is such a tease. He will walk around half naked all the time, munching on juicy fruit and giving you a sensual look. He will take a drink from a water bottle and let the water drip onto his chest.

Volume: He is pretty quiet for the most part, as he lives with family. He is worried that you two will make noise and wake his parents or Mafalda in the night.

Wildcard (something random): Elio loves to go swimming; it is one of his favorite things to do to pass the time. So naturally, he has wanted to fuck in the water. But he realized that it is not as easy as he thought it would be. When you tried, all lubricant was lost, and his cock became far too sensitive to finish.

X-ray: Elio has a thin, beautiful body with very little scars or blemishes. His skin is like perfect porcelain and is baby soft to the touch. He definitely lives up to the hype of skinny man equals a big dick. His member is long and thick and very suckable.

Yearning (sex drive?): Elio has a very high sex drive. Any hour of the day or night, he is ready to go. He cannot get enough of you.

Zzz: He is able to fall asleep within about ten or fifteen minutes if you have sex late at night. He will cuddle you all night long. His favorite way to sleep is using your chest as a pillow.

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake

[sseastar]

✶ meet me at the net ; riize.

info. riize ot7 + reader. fluff. platonic mostly but can be interpreted as more. description. riize as the volleyball team you’re the team manager for. word count. 2.7k warnings. volleyball-sustained bruises (sohee be careful pls). listen to. orange by spyair.

as always, please leave feedback and reblog with feedback and tags as it’s the most important thing when it comes to motivating writers on here! without feedback, i have less motivation to keep writing so pls pls pls do not just like and empty reblog! it gets very draining and unmotivating to see when that happens!

쇼타로 、OSAKI SHOTARO !

position: setter, team captain.

the surprisingly powerful setter that many people usually look over. because of his pure personality, not many fear shotaro, an insanely quick witted player who seems to know the opponent’s weakness even at the last second. hits when people expect him to set someone up, dinks when people expect him to spike, because of this is such a powerful asset to their team. always does the unexpected even when players are already aware of his playing style and yet always has something up his sleeve. his bubbly personality disappears as soon as he steps onto the court. but he doesn’t turn into a huge, tall, intimidating opponent. instead, he’s quiet and swift and quick and somehow that’s even more terrifying to play against. despite being calm and stable on the court, when he’s on the sidelines with the others, he’s hyping everyone up with loud cheers - that’s when his bright personality shows and the opposing team is always so confused - especially since they’ve only ever seen him in the zone.

shotaro dotes on his teammates, always making sure they’re eating enough between matches and drinking enough water. “no wonbin, you cannot survive off of gatorade chews the whole day.” dotes on you as well, making sure you have enough space to sit on the bench if he ever gets subbed out and pushes the ball cart so you don’t have to when you move courts for a new match. will always find you between matches to help set up everyone’s lunches and folding chairs and helps you calm down the others if they’re being too rowdy and chaotic and just overall tries to make your job as the team manager easier. loves to braid your hair to calm himself down between matches, and asks if you can hold the earrings he always forgets he can’t wear during games.

은석 、SONG EUNSEOK !

position: opposite hitter

the most underrated hitter on the team just because of his position. because many focus on outside hitters, his skills are sometimes overlooked. yet when eunseok gets the chance to showcase them, he leaves everyone absolutely speechless with how well he is able to execute the quick back-sets shotaro sends him. sometimes, people don’t understand where he came from, seemingly popping out of nowhere on the court. people are further shocked at how good he is at line shots and cross shots, underestimating his quick thinking, especially with his high vertical that allows him the easily see the open gaps in their opponents’ set up. eunseok is quick on his feet, and never hesitates to dive to save the ball that nears the floor. has no problem with jousting up at the net and is always amazing at getting the ball out of it. he’s known for his powerful topspin jump serve as well, one that he’s definitely received aces for. he’s a quiet player, often only shouting when needed and quietly celebrating in the center while his teammates are the ones shouting. is not easily affected by intimidating players on the other team.

eunseok takes care of the team quietly. you’ve noticed that he’s the one picking up items that the others might forget, or quietly placing water bottles he had refilled back near the bench. he drapes towels on the others’ necks without a word, and yet he masks his caring ways under his quick retorts and unbothered personality. not that anyone never noticed - you along with everyone on the team knows of his considerate, caring nature. sure, he loves to tease you between or even during matches as he sees how much more stressed you are than the actual players and their coach, but that doesn’t nullify all his small acts of service for everyone. eunseok is often found standing at your side between matches, usually because he finds your presence calming before a big game. sometimes, you wake up with his warm up jacket covering you on the drive to the tournament venue in the early morning. seemingly the one to always let you borrow something of his and will have a knowing smug look on his face when he overhears someone compliment you for it, only to say “yeah, i agree,” without disclosing the fact that it’s his.

성찬 、JUNG SUNGCHAN !

position: middle blocker

with his height, sungchan was easily positioned as the middle blocker that would switch out for sohee, their libero. however, it is not only his height that catches people’s attention, nor his extremely handsome face that has onlookers' heads turning. sungchan is smart, and can easily read the opposing team’s next moves. hits rarely get past him, and when they do, he makes sure that instead of allowing the ball to drop straight through his hands to the floor, he makes sure to angle himself in a position that gives the defensive specialists a perfect angle to bump the ball back up. he knows how to turn a hard hit into an opportunity for their team. sungchan is a wall when it comes to blocking, and his height only adds to his wit and thinking as he plays in the front row. not only is sungchan and extremely powerfully blocker, but his long history of playing with shotaro allows him to hit the most unstoppable spikes. no one ever seems to know what these two have planned up their sleeve, not even their own team. but it always works.

sungchan is a ball of energy. he reminds you of a big puppy with the way he’s always hyping the team up, making sure to reassure them when the team happens to be stuck in a rut. he’s probably one of the loudest on the court. he refuses to let the others think badly about their plays, shutting down any possible thoughts of blaming themselves for losing a set or game. his bright energy catches everyone’s attention, and many people seem to fall for him. but sungchan sticks to your side between matches, making sure you always have everything you need and are eating enough while you make sure the team eats enough because “you need to take care of yourself too.” he always tries to gives up his seat for others, especially you, but you insist that he has to rest for their next match. insists on helping you make sure the air pressure in each ball at practice is full just because he likes to spend time with you. before each hit during warm-ups at matches, he turns and points to you, only to laugh when you shake your head after he shouts, “this is for you!” then proceeds to completely miss the quick set shotaro had sent him.

원빈 、PARK WONBIN !

position: defensive specialist, setter

he’s quiet. that’s for sure, though he always seems to get the job done and more. wonbin is a reliable silent threat, and not many people pay attention to him especially since he’s in the back row acting as one of the defensive specialists. he doesn’t mind that his role is underrated because it doesn’t matter to him. he knows how important his role is in the back row, backing up sohee (his fellow defensive player) to dig whatever spike comes at him. he’s especially good with overhead passes and can even act as a setter if shotaro happens to get the first touch. he may be silent, but when wonbin is playing, the ball never touches the ground. he’s quick on his feet and always seems to play scrappy - pulling out tricks that no one seems to even think about. he can hit back row spikes, for sure, but he prefers not to. one thing that makes people fear him are his floater serves. although his aren’t flashy jump serves, his floaters always seem to change direction in the most unrealistic way, swerving past the players on the other side of the net.

wonbin is very similar to haikyuu’s kenma, often not taking care of himself. he seems to take care of the team before himself, even if he’s about to collapse from exhaustion from back to back matches. that’s where you (and shotaro) come in, doting on him to make sure he eats. he’ll only refuse the first few times, so you shove a plate of food into his hands and sit down in front of him to make sure he eats. he’s shy as well, preferring to stick to you to hover his face over your shoulder as his teammates socialize with other teams. however wonbin has another side to him that only the team knows, one where he gets really crazy during practice and ends up busting out the most out of pocket sentences that have the whole team cracking up. it’s one of your favorite moments when wonbin seems to cut tension after losing a match, or mentioning something everyone noticed about something they saw during the day but never brought up because they were too embarrassed to. it has everyone laughing comfortably hysterically, because of course wonbin, the reserved one, is the one to bring it up unexpectedly.

승한 、HONG SEUNGHAN !

position: defensive specialist, opposite hitter, setter

the bright, positive player who seems to bring energy to a match on both sides of the court. he’s always talking despite his introverted personality, and he views it one of his strengths despite being an analytical defensive player on the court. he loves hitting back row, and kind of hates that he rarely gets to do it, but loves to fulfill any role that the team needs. seunghan has exceptional ball control, seemingly able to pass any serve that comes at him regardless of the skill level. he angles it so perfectly to shotaro, allowing the rest of the team to execute a perfectly-set up attack, and that alone has him satisfied. at first, he didn’t think he had an important role, but you had made him realize that defense is just as important if not more, than offense. seunghan can read dinks versus spikes very well, and his agility allows him to get to the ball quick, making him a valuable asset to the back row. seunghan also always encourages his teammates whether they earned a point or made a mistake, never allowing them to even think about blaming themselves.

the most excited, seunghan is the mood maker of the team. he’s the one to bring the most energy to matches, always extremely hyped up and bringing a portable speaker everywhere. seunghan loves to joke around and keeps up with a lot of the trends, being the one to convince you to create a team social media account. he practically runs it with the way he always seems to steal your phone to film the others and themselves between matches, goofing off and having fun. he’s the one to suggest filming one of those videos where the team crowds around the front camera from above, throwing balls, shoes, knee pads, whatever above their head and seeing who gets hit. he can get bummed out if he doesn’t do well, and at these times he finds you, clinging to you during lunch. you’ll be sitting on a bench with your plate out, and he’ll just be at your legs with his head in your lap or leaning against your knees. this is when his introverted personality shines through, and the team does everything to get their mood maker back to his best. after all, it’s what seunghan always does for them.

소희 、LEE SOHEE !

position: libero

even the slight angle of a setter’s wrist allows him to know who the setter is setting to, and sohee quickly adjusts himself to where that hitter had hit last. his brain is almost a computer with how much information he remembers: where the hitters tend to send their ball, how each player serves, which player on the other team seems to have a weakness they can use to their advantage. if sohee has a suggestion in a play, the others immediately follow because it always works. because of his cute aura and the reduced spotlight on back row players, no one expects him to be the mastermind behind the intense plays of the team. and that’s what makes it work. sohee is a secret weapon, because not only is he extremely meticulous, but he is not afraid to get on the floor to dig a hit. he refuses to let a ball drop without even trying for it, and if it does, punishes himself by diving post-play because he should’ve done it to get the ball in the first place. nevertheless, it’s rare for that to happen because sohee reads hitters and setters perfectly. sohee will not hesitate to run across the court to send the ball back over the net on the last touch if he needs to, and you can’t even count the amount of times you’d had to help him ice his shins after crashing into the bleachers to save a ball.

sohee is the team’s charger. everyone clings to him because just being around him is healing. and although he might not be used to the affection and all the skinship, he wills himself to get used to it because he knows how much it helps the team. he happily helps you with your managing duties, especially when you try to find recordings of the teams they’ll be playing against, helping you and their coach analyze it and relaying the information to shotaro. sometimes follows you like a duckling, both at tournaments or at practice, and is one to initiate dodgeball games with the volleyball at the end of practice, usually by throwing a ball in the air which “accidentally” hits anton while he sips on some water. always helps you set up the net for training too, making sure you don’t drop the heavy poles or fall from the post where the referees usually stand.

앤톤 、LEE CHANYOUNG !

position: outside hitter

if anything, he and sungchan are the most feared on the team, primarily due to their large stature. despite his soft spoken nature, anton is one of the physically strongest players on the team, having the hardest hits to pass. that makes him so qualified for being an outside hitter because his spikes often push past the blocks of the other team. he’s still a little new to jousting up at the top of the net, but sungchan’s been teaching him well - how to not feel bad for pushing against the opponents’ hands and how to make sure to be ready for the ball to drop back onto their side. anton was a newcomer to the team but advanced quickly, earning such an important offensive position early into his athletic career. he’s also a quiet player and had trouble calling for the ball at first, but as soon as he experienced the satisfaction of hitting such a perfectly executed spike that even sohee couldn’t pass during practice, he stopped hesitating to call shotaro to set him up. he’s still learning but he learns fast, much to the dismay of opposing teams, especially with his strong jump serve.

as the youngest, the team looks to dote on anton a lot. despite being used to being an older brother, he allows the team to cling to him as long as he can to you. he tries his best not to get in the way and just wants to make sure everything runs smoothly, refusing to let any disputes linger between the team by gently speaking up to try to clear the air. it’s rare that he has to do that, but the team usually calms down once they realize that anton’s the one who’s confronting the issue. anton is another to cling to you when socializing with other teams, though if he gets comfortable enough with the other players he’ll leave you with wonbin at your side. he also follows you around like a duckling, always asking if there’s anything he can do to help with your managing duties and always offering to help you set up for practice.

⌕. author’s note ; currently inspired by my long-lasting haikyuu hyperfixation and my disappointment when i found out they’re squeezing the rest of the manga into a movie instead of more seasons. this is coming from my experience playing volleyball for a good number of years (although keep in mind it’s been while!)

ꗃ. taglist ; @enhacolor @soobin-chois @koishua @chrysbibi

[violetsiren90]

The Light of Your Eyes

Pairing: best friend's younger brother!Changbin x f!Reader

Genre: one-shot; friends to lovers; smut and fluff; hurt/comfort

Summary: Can the gentle touch of an unexpected pair of hands on your body heal the wounds of your soul?

Drabbles: Arms Around Me

Content warnings: 18+ (minors, dni), age gap romance (consenting adults); mentions of break-up and unhealthy past relationship dynamics; depression and anxiety symptoms (mild); MC has self esteem struggles, some are body-image related; the ex was low-key emotionally abusive tbh 😒; depictions of alcohol consumption (no drunkenness); depictions of food and eating (MC has a moment of negative thought patterns in regards to food consumption); gaming/watching movies; emotional breakdowns; kissing (so much kissing, guys); Fluffy fluffy FLUFF 💕; making out; interrupted shenanigans; cuddling; shirtless Binnie 👀; strong and gentle Binnie 🥺💘 ; working through FEELINGS 😅 ; breast play; nudity; oral sex (f. receiving); feedbag position; confessions and new beginnings.

Word Count: ~9300

Author's Note: Well, here it is - my first Binnie fic! I wanted to make it as sweet and sexy as he is...which, I know, is impossible, so I gave it my best shot! Hopefully, it's something worthy of his face-claim. I'm not going to make any judgements as to whether I feel it fits the bill, but rather like the man himself, tell you to be the judge of your own opinions! Jutdae!! 😂💗 But in all seriousness, if you decide to read this story, thank you! I hope it brings you something warm and fuzzy!

*The poem at the beginning is an original, and is what inspired this story!

Acknowledgements: I cannot thank @moni-logues enough for beta reading this for me, and for all her hype and humor and general human decency - this story wouldn't be what it is without her! 💖

As always, if no one has told you today, please know that you're loved, and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

    

the

Bright color of my laughter and the

Melody of the curve of my hips and the

Soft velvet of my irises

     seemed

To have taken their first breath,

Opening gently - like flowers perfuming my soul

- When bathed in the light of your eyes.

"Changbin? What are you doing here?"

     "I could ask you the same question," he says with a little smirk, whipping a dish towel over his shoulder as he shuffles back to let you in.

     Fair enough, you suppose. You are showing up without notice. Not that you ever need to give his sister any notice - as your best friend, there's a key with all the others in your purse that unlocks the door you're closing behind you. You wouldn't have even knocked had his car not been parked in the driveway.

     "Where's Nari?" you ask, glancing at the gaming console hooked up to the massive flat-screen, and a bullet blender cup half filled with something thick, pale and probably protein-packed sitting on the coffee table.

     "She went out of town for the weekend," he calls, heading back toward the dining area. "Last minute work thing." 

     Damn. 

     Your apartment is boring and barren and lonely. You wanted to hang out. You've been coming around more than usual – almost as often as when you were in grad school together. But Nari had her own life, you understood. You had your own life too.

     And then three months ago, on New Years Eve, your long-term boyfriend called it quits. It wasn't as if you were heartbroken. Not really. The relationship had been sick and slowly dying. But returning to a life lived in solitude was proving a difficult adjustment – especially navigating the new and constant stillness which left you the mental space and dexterity to run up against the shadows of wounds unhealed. And you didn't feel like growing into your EQ. You felt like distracting yourself. So you ended up at your bestie's place more often than not, these days.

     You sigh, trailing toward the kitchen. You won't stay long - if her younger brother is house sitting, he'll probably have people coming over. It's Friday night, after all, and he's twenty-four years young.

    The sound of running water, and music from a little speaker playing a catchy beat laced with fast-paced rap draws you into the warmly-lit, open kitchen. You recognize the voice on the track.

     "This new?" you ask, dropping your bag on a barstool and rounding the island to where Changbin is up to his elbows in suds at the sink. He's in a black band tee and bright blue joggers, his curly dark hair unstyled.

    He looks over his shoulder and nods.

    "What do you think? Wait, no, lemme start it over..."

     You smile to yourself as he hastily dries his hands and whips out his phone, pulling the track back to the beginning. He braces himself against the edge of the sink, gnawing on his bottom lip as he bobs his head with the lyrical punches and runs. 

     You smile to yourself, leaning your back against the counter beside him.

     "This is good, Bin," you nod earnestly. 

     "Yeah?" he asks, returning to his soapy task.

     "It really is. Hyunjin's pretty damn fast. Not as fast as you, but who is?" 

You grin, bumping your hip into his side.

     He smirks down into the bubbles.

     He's wanted to make music for as long as you've known him, and even fifteen years ago he could spit out a diss track that would have you wetting yourself laughing. He and his buddy, Hyunjin, met in high school and started messing around with music senior year. They committed to the dream, and both worked full-time gigs - Hyunjin as a tattoo artist and Changbin as a personal trainer - while promoting their artistry in their spare time. Production was a tough road to take when they were counting on nothing but raw talent and guts, but you'd always been an unflinching supporter.

     "We've got a gig next Saturday...at The Eight Ball," he remarks, looking over at you as a proud smile presses a tiny dimple into his bread cheek.

     "What?!" you squeal, turning to smack him on the arm. "Dude, that's fantastic! Oh my god, congratulations!"

     "Thanks, and ouch!" he replies, rubbing his arm with a pout that you ignore. It couldn't possibly have hurt him, not with those biceps.

     He moves to the fridge, a grin still plastered on his face.

     "You should come!" he urges over his shoulder as he appraises his sister's stash before grabbing an energy drink. "I know the boyfriend isn't into rap, but you could come with Nari..."

     You scoff softly.

     "Doesn't really matter what he likes anymore," you mumble bitterly.

     Changbin freezes as he's about to crack open the beverage in his hand.

     "Wait, what? Did you guys...is that over?"

     You purse your lips and nod. Changbin looks completely taken off guard in a way that surprises you. 

“When did that happen?”

You reach back to clutch at the cold tile of the countertop.

“Beginning of the year.”

He scratches his head.

“Nari didn’t…why didn’t you say something?”

You shrug, your eyes falling. For reasons you'd never considered, you’d rarely brought your ex around or even brought him up to Changbin. 

He turns to the still open fridge and swaps out his energy drink for two beers, opening both and sliding one across the island between you.

     "How you holding up?" he asks in earnest concern, a little furrow appearing between his dark brows.

     You want to tell him that you're fine - it's what you've been telling everyone else - but from the way he holds your gaze before letting his eyes search your face, he's looking for a real answer. You pull your lip between your teeth. You're not ready to form the words that spell the truth. He sees it.

    "Ah," he waves dismissively, "Fuck that guy. You're too good for him anyway. What an idiot."

      You blink, a little smirk tugging at your lips.

     "You don't have to hate on him just because we're-"

     "I'm hating on him because I hate him," he stares at you unflinchingly, taking another swig of his beer. "He wasn't good to you, didn't make you happy. I'm glad he's gone. Seriously, fuck him."

     You didn't expect that sort of reaction out of Changbin. Not that you expected anything, but the strong, certain tone he took in regards to your ex's unworthiness has a tiny little warmth glowing in your chest. It was like him to feel strongly and take a stand, but to have his conviction aimed at you...

     "Thanks, Bin," you murmur softly, hiding your smile behind your beer.

     The young man nods, and his lips part as if to speak when his phone buzzes in his pocket. As he answers the call - clearly, from the nature of his greeting, one of his buddies - you're reminded that you’re trespassing on his Friday night. Draining your beer, you grab your bag and slip out of the kitchen. 

     You huff a little sigh as you pull on your shoes, lingering listlessly for a moment before pulling open the door. The thought of going home has your stomach churning. You can't go back and be alone there. 

You can't.

     You have to.

     How pathetic could you possibly get? you consider sickly, staring out into the darkness. Your self-loathing and mounting anxiety battle for dominance as you will yourself to take the step over the threshold that will carry you to your car…

     Click.

     The door swishes shut, and you blink in confusion before you note a bulky arm stretched over your shoulder, hand pressed to the wooden frame below the peephole.

     You turn into Changbin's frame and he jostles backwards, hand dropping to your shoulder.

     "Where do you think you're going?" he asks, a little smirk playing on his lips.

     You try to get your bearings as you resurface from the flash flood of inner turmoil, blinking up at him in confusion.

     "Uuhh...home?" you answer, jerking a thumb back toward your intended exit.

     Changbin shakes his head. 

     "You just got here."

     "Well...I came to see Nari but she's gone, so..." 

     When the faintest shadow of hurt seems to flicker over his features at your words, you stammer to clarify.

     "Bin, it's Friday, I- you've got plans, right? I don't want to be in the way...Like, it's really nice seeing you don't get me wrong, but, it would suck to have one of your sister's random friends underfoot if you're...if..."

     You trail off. He's watching you in amusement now, arms crossed and bottom lip pulled between his teeth, one eyebrow cocked just a little higher than the other.

     "What?" you press him, now a bit self-conscious at your rambling and still on edge from the surging anxiety of moments ago. 

     Damn, what was with you? You'd been a mess lately, and now you couldn't even get your words out with Nari's kid brother?

     "I do have plans."

     Changbin's words interrupt your muddled self-assessment. You glance up at him.

     What? Okay, that's what you had been trying to...

     "I plan to kick your ass at Super Smash Bros Brawl," he quips, turning to round the couch and settle in front of it before reaching for the blue controller discarded on the coffee table.

     Huh?

     You watch him start up the game and move through selections. Shuffling toward the back of the couch, you place your hands on it. He wants to hang out? Now that he found out you'd been dumped. Nari's away, so he's falling into stride, you think to yourself. You sigh. You should be grateful. Instead, you feel like a burden.

     "Um, Bin..." you murmur, "You don't have to do this..."

     "Do what?" he asks without looking back. "I'm not going easy on you, if that's what you mean. And I'm using Kirby - nonnegotiable."

     Your heart melts a little as your eyes rest on him. He's always been a good guy, and it was like him to do this sort of thing - look out for someone when they were feeling low. Leaving simply because you don't feel worthy of his care and attention risks hurting him more than you.

     You slowly slip out of your shoes and cross into the living room, retrieving a red controller from atop the console before sinking onto the carpet beside him. You toggle through your choices before landing on Link. Changbin glances over at you disparagingly. 

     "Link sucks."

     "Kirby sucks."

     "Hey!" Changbin, practically shouts in your ear, "Don't insult my widdle cutie guy..."

     You grimace theatrically at the baby talk.

     "Don't ever do that again."

     "Or what?" Changbin challenges as he immediately unleashes a combo move that has your character hurtling toward the edge of the battle stage.

     You hop around, avoiding him and trying out different button combos. It's been forever since you played this game. Your ex had been a Halo enthusiast. You were never big on first person shooters, but you tried to get into it for his sake. He hadn't the patience to help you learn, though, and after a couple of sessions of grimaces and apologies on your behalf mumbled into his headset, he'd stopped taking you up on your offers to join him. 

     Kirby darts back and forth across the screen after you on stubby pink legs. Eventually you get the hang of things and are returning his attacks, though he easily bests you in an embarrassingly short sequence of moves.

     "Sorry, I'm no good at video games," you mumble apologetically. 

     The smug look falls from Changbin's face.

     "Why are you sorry?" he raises a brow, dropping his controller into his lap, a little smile still playing on his lips.

     You shrug. His smile fades.

     "Who says you're no good?"

     Shit.

     You shift your focus to the screen and toggle for a new character.

     "Best two out of three."

     You can feel his eyes still on you as you opt for Princess Peach.  

     Two out of three turns into five out of eight, and around eleven out of twenty, the doorbell rings. When Changbin turns in surprise toward the sound, you take the opportunity to deliver a critical blow, winning your first match of the night. He rolls his eyes as you giggle wickedly and moves to answer the door.

     You pull your phone from your pocket reflexively to check the socials you've deleted, before sighing and tossing it across the room to land on the carpet with a thud.

     "Did you just throw your phone?" 

     Glancing over your shoulder, you catch him shooting you a quizzical look over a stack of pizza boxes tall enough to feed a small army. Clambering to your feet you trail after him into the kitchen.

     "You do have plans, you liar!" you elbow him as he opens the top box and pulls out a slice, hissing as the melted cheesy overflow burns the tips of his fingers.

     "Ow!" he snaps up a napkin and cradles it under the steaming piece of pizza, shaking his other hand before holding up his fingers in front of you.

     "Blow on 'em," he whines.

     You raise your eyebrows.

     "You're joking."

     He pouts and you want to laugh. This big, grown man is seriously going to give you the lip right now?

     "That's what you get for having no patience, Bin..." you tsk disapprovingly. 

     He lets out a little disappointed sigh.

     "Meanie..." he grumbles, and lets his hand fall.

     You return your focus to the obscene amount of food now stacked on Nari's kitchen table. 

     "So, I'm sure people are going to start showing up, so I'm just gonna..."

     Changbin hands you a paper plate with two slices of pizza and heads to the fridge where he fishes out two more beers. You stare at the plate in your hand.

     "I...Bin..." 

     "What, you don't like sweet potato?" he asks with a smirk, cracking open a can and handing it to you. 

     You blink at him in confusion. 

     "Please enjoy this meal compliments of Han Jisung, who never remembers to update the address on his delivery app. Now, load up on pizza and let’s get back to it because I'm not trying to let you act like you came out on top from winning that last match on a fluke."

     You scoff at his last remark. Watching him pile several slices onto his plate, you take a bite of yours. It tastes good, and you realize as it hits your stomach that you haven't eaten all day. When was the last time you ate a real meal? When was the last time you wanted one? 

     "Noona?" 

     Changbin's voice makes you realize you had zoned out and when you blink up at him, there's just nine inches of disposable dinnerware between you. His lips are pursed and his eyes trace your features, their gaze gentle but searching. 

    "You alright?" he asks.

     There it is again; the concern. He isn't just checking in. His voice is soft and low, like his eyes. As a rule, Changbin's voice is strong, resonant - saying everything from his chest without even trying. So when he's gentle, when he pulls himself back...

    "Do you miss that guy?" he murmurs.

     "No!" 

You say it so quickly.

     Changbin nods.

     "I'm just..." Fuck, why are you suddenly so emotional? "I think I'm...adjusting. Y'know?"

     He nods again slowly. Then he reaches up and touches your face, dragging his thumb over the side of your mouth and suddenly your brain waves flat-line. Your eyes widen and your lips part, but before you can even process what's happening, he drops his hand to swipe it on a napkin.

     "Had sauce on your face," he mumbles, and you can't read his.

     His mouth is tugged up in a small smile but somehow it looks sad, and his eyes look like they're still asking a question that was never really answered. Before you can consider any further, he picks up his plate and heads back toward the living room.

     You follow him, still half in your head.

     When you sit down next to him, there's something hanging unspoken in the foot and a half of space between your bodies. Something has shifted, gone taut. 

     Shit, had you made him uncomfortable? Why had you stared at him like a weirdo when he...wait, he touched you...

     Your eyes shift over to where he sits beside you. He runs a hand through the wavy hair over his ear. Has he always been so beautiful? He turns quick enough to catch you staring and you put your plate out of your lap. The pizza smells so good but suddenly you can't touch it.

     Changbin initiates another round, which you lose in record time. Your stomach grumbles.

     "You better eat if you're going to have any hope of beating me again," he goads, finishing off his third slice to abandon the crust with the others on his plate before launching another game.

     "I had enough," you deflect, pushing your plate toward him.

     "You took two bites."

     "I need to cut back."

     "Like...go on a diet?"

     "Yeah."

     His brows furrow and his tongue slips between his lips as he sends Kirby into a hammer flip that lands as a critical hit and you wince.

"What have you eaten today?"

"What?"

     "You heard me."

     "I...I don't know. I..."

     Your stomach twists. The hunger is there, but so is the anxiety. The fear of being judged for eating too much or too quickly or...

     The game pauses. Your plate slides back toward you over the carpet.

     "The rest of that piece. Or whatever else you want. But something." 

     His voice is gentle but firm. You sigh.

     "Fine," you murmur, grabbing the half-eaten slice.

     You take a bite, and slowly raise your eyes to his as they regard you patiently.

     "Sorry," you mumble, covering your mouth, shifting away from him.

     "Why now?"

     "I make gross noises when I eat."

     "What? No you d-" 

     A hand tugs at your elbow. When you look back toward him his handsome face holds so many things, and you watch as they take turns seizing his features. Horror...pity...anger.

     "Who told you that?" he asks lowly, but it doesn't sound like a question. "Noona..."

     He squeezes your elbow.

     You feel everything you've been shoving down in your chest begin to well up. 

Fuck, no! 

Your lip trembles.

He's shifting to face you.

You shake your head and press your eyes shut.

Your hand is encompassed in a larger one.

     "It's lies, all of it," Changbin whispers with desperate conviction...and your dam breaks.

     He pulls you into his arms as you sob with abandon. One of his hands encircles your waist tugging you against his broad, warm chest, and the other slips to brush tenderly over your nape as you tuck your face into his neck. 

     "He's a liar...shhhh...he's a lying piece of shit," he insists earnestly, into your hair. "You're perfect. He's the one who needs to fix himself. You're so, so perfect." 

     Perfect? You let your heart hold the word in its palm for one precious moment before pushing it away. Your heart had never been one to accept gifts it didn't think it deserved.

     You weep and weep in his strong arms until you run out of tears, and then he holds you while you breathe. As the catharsis of your breakdown begins to settle in, you wonder at the comedown - a softer, warmer one than you've ever known – and you consider the loveliness that has broken your fall.

     Soft and firm, everywhere he touches you. And warm. So warm. Not just the heat radiating from his body like a furnace – the velvet rasp of his voice, the absolute and unfaltering nature of his embrace.

     Your hands move tentatively against his back. Soft cotton stretches and bunches between your fingers over his sturdy frame. Where your face is pressed to his collar every breath draws in a comforting combination of detergent and cologne. When you close your eyes and sigh, letting your weight sink against him further, you feel his arms tighten in response. 

     "Sorry," you croak feebly.

     "Stop," he implores you, "Every time you apologize, I want to sock that guy in the face."

     "I...I'm so stupid, I didn't even really realize..."

     "No," his arms squeeze you again, "He had your trust. It was his job to protect you."

     Protected. That's how you feel right now. Safe. So, so safe. Letting him hold you and reassure you felt good...it felt right. But yet again, the voice in your mind that liked to remind you how much of a burden you always were speaks up in a sickly whisper.

     You pull yourself slowly from his arms and off his lap. Drawing yourself up to stand, you wipe your hot cheeks, puffy red eyes finding his like the needle of a compass. Unprepared for what awaits you in his gaze, your knees nearly give out beneath you.

     Changbin is looking up from where he kneels before you, the yearning in his eyes unchecked as they burn with  an unasked question and an unspoken promise.

     "I should go," you whisper, barely able to form the words.

     "Don't," he says, standing.

     "If I stay I'll just wreck your night," you mumble.

     "You could never," he insists, lips tugging into a little smile. His eyes are still pleading.

     "Changbin..." you breathe, suddenly drowning again in the fizzy serotonin his words ignite in your chest. "You don't want..."

     "You let me be the judge of what I want."

     His hands find your arms and he pulls you in. There are centimeters between you. His eyes rest on your lips. Your heart hammers in your ears as your brain begins to malfunction the way it had when he touched your face...

     "D-do I have something on my-"

     Mouth? His.

    The whole of your being floods with something beautiful and ineffable at the touch of his lips and no voice, no doubt, no force in the world could be stronger than the one that pulls you into him. Your arms fly up to wrap around his neck and tug yourself impossibly closer. His hands drop to your waist, pressing desperately in kind, and your bodies mold together. You flush with heat, sparks igniting in your belly and skittering through your veins as his lips move against yours. He stumbles back, pulling you with him as his knees buckle at the edge of the couch, and your body spills over his lap.

Your fingers card into his hair.

His hands drop to the back of your hips.

Your tongue brushes his bottom lip.

He moans.

     At the gorgeous, deep sound from his chest, you pull back, fighting the smile that pulls at the corners of your mouth. What the fuck is happening right now? You don't get much time to consider as his head falls against the backrest and his eyes flutter open.

     "Sorry," he grins bashfully. The tips of his ears burn pink.

     "Now who's apologizing for no reason?" you tease, pressing your hands to his chest.

     He smiles so sweetly in return you feel you might physically melt. And then the smile fades and the lids of his eyes grow heavy and he leans up to claim your mouth.

     His lips taste the same as a moment ago, but their press is slower, hungrier. His hands are powerful and assertive as they hook under your thighs and pull your hips flush against his own in a single tug. You gasp softly against his lips and you feel his smirk. You feel his smirk and something else - something beginning to press up into your ass through your jeans.

     Licking into his mouth, you push down, grinding your hips over his in a slow, deliberate undulation. The groan that falls from his lips unlocks something inside of you that needs to know every sound he makes and how to elicit them. Your mouth drops to his neck.

     Suddenly, he's gripping your waist and pivoting to lay you on the cushions, slotting himself between your legs. You're still dizzy from the sudden rush of movement, when your legs curl around his hips and over his ass and–

     A loud buzzing from the coffee table has you mourning the press of Changbin's lips to your throat as he glances at the caller ID. 

     "Shit!" he scrambles to sit up, hand still gripping your thigh above your knee when he presses the phone to his ear.

     "Hey," he runs a hand through his hair. "What? Nothing. No, I didn't forget. I will, I will."

     You recognize his tone of voice. There could only be one person on the other end of the line. You sit up, your head beginning to clear as the reality of the situation washes over you.

     "Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Be safe. Love you." 

Changbin presses the end-call button and tosses the phone onto the cushion beside him. He leans back against the couch and claps his hand against your leg with a sigh.

     "She really knows how to wreck a moment for me."

     You crack a wry smile.

     "I mean, it's probably for the best that we don't desecrate your sister's couch."

     His eyes widen as horror, disgust, and amusement wage war across his features. You burst into a fit of giggles. He feigns a gag. You laugh so hard that you snort.

     "S-sorry," you clap your hand over your mouth, still tittering while your ears heat in embarrassment.

     Changbin's face softens again. He reaches for your hand and pulls it from your face, threading his fingers through yours.

     "Cut it out."

     "What? I can't be embarrassed about snorting like a pig?"

     "No. It's cute," he smirks.

     "It is not!"

     "Mhm. Everything you do is cute."

     He glances over at you, a lopsided smirk on his perfect lips, his eyes sparkling. He means it.

     You fluster, gaze dropping to your enjoined hands, and concentrate on tracing little patterns on the back of his with your thumb. He sighs.

     "Wanna watch a movie?"

     The request takes you by surprise and your heart squeezes. If it was any other guy, the night would have been over. For the fourth time tonight, you had been about to head for the door, and for the fourth time, Changbin makes you feel wanted. So you stay.

     You grab a big, fluffy blanket from the basket in Nari's room, and when you return, Changbin has the lights dimmed and Your Name ready to go on the TV. You smile as you settle in beside him, tossing half the blanket over his widespread legs.

     "We don't have to watch this just because it's my favorite, you know," you insist, but he shakes his head.

     "Taki's ma' boy," he smirks, shooting you a glance as he presses play on the remote.

     You're not quite sure what it means, but you feel your heart skip a beat just the same.

You love this movie. You love that you've seen it enough times that you can talk through it. You love that Changbin is more than willing to talk over the film himself. You're not certain when it happened, but by halfway through the movie his arm is stretched out behind your shoulders and your head rests on his bicep.

     "Do you remember seeing this together in the theater?" he asks suddenly, tilting his head toward yours.

     You grin.

     "You cried and Nari gave you shit about it," you recall.

     "You bailed me out. Told her all the sniffling was you. Never even teased me about it either."

     Changbin smiles down at you, his eyes sentimental.

     Butterflies flutter their delicate wings in your ribcage. How does he make you feel this way?

Your eyes dip to his lips for a moment. Sighing, you nuzzle into his shoulder, hiding your face as much as seeking his warmth. His arm slips off the back of the couch to curl around your shoulders and pull you into his side. The movie plays on.

     When the credits roll, Changbin stretches and yawns, and watching him it dawns on you that, working at a fitness center, he's an especially early riser.

     "We should call it a night," you offer, standing and stretching yourself, but you're tugged back down into Changbin's lap, yelping as you topple onto him.

     His arms encircle your hips as he regards you with a sleepy grin.

     "What, do I live here now?" you tease.

     "Stay the night," he urges, tightening his arms around you. "You really want to drive back now?"

     You chew your lip, eyes tracing over his face. This is all more than a bit unreal, and you haven't given yourself even one second to process what's happening, lest you utterly panic. All you know right now is that your little ship had been sinking and he had hauled you into a lifeboat. Everything outside of him seems like a raging sea.

     You nod.

     "Okay," you whisper, combing his hair away from his forehead. “I’ll stay.” 

     His eyes dip shut at your touch and the butterflies flutter gently once more.

     A few minutes later, you take Nari's room and slip into a pair of her cotton shorts, which do basically nothing to contain your ass, and tug on a plain white tee that stretches snugly over your torso. How a big guy like Changbin could have emerged from the same genetic pool as his teeny tiny sister was beyond you. As you glance in the mirror, your heart sinks. You don't like how the tight fit is pressing you out everywhere you're most self-conscious. But, they are just pajamas, and they're all you have at your disposal.

     As you're about to head into the master bathroom to finish your nightly routine, you remember that the toothbrush and toiletries you keep on hand at Nari's are in the little half-bath attached to the guest room. You groan, glancing at yourself again in the mirror, and pull a blanket around yourself before crossing the hall.

     Hoping Changbin hasn’t yet fallen asleep, you knock hesitantly on the door. You hear the bed creak before the door opens to reveal a head of mussed hair and hands scrubbing over bleary eyes. But it's not what you notice. Your apology for rousing him dies on your lips as your eyes glue themselves to his bare chest. Blinking dumbly, your eyes climb from his soft stomach subtly rippling with the presence of strong abdominals up to a pair of impressive pecs with wide-set, dusky nipples. His flannel pajama pants settle at his hips, accentuating how his body broadens as it rises from his waist to his full chest and wide shoulders flanked by bulging biceps. Thick. He's so fucking thick you could bi-

     "...Noona?" he rumbles, his voice husky from sleep. "What's wrong?"

     "Nothing...sorry..." you rush out, ripping your gaze up to his. "My toothbrush is in your room – I mean! in your bathroom. That's where I usually stay, so...but I didn't think you'd be asleep. Sorry, I can just..." 

     He rubs over one of his eyes with his palm as he steps aside.

     "You can grab it."

     Right. You shuffle in awkwardly, trying not to step on the blanket dragging around your feet. As you cross the dark room, you try not to dwell on the rumpled sheets of the bed that speak of his body having lain between them, or the soft smell of his cologne hanging in the air. You quickly retrieve the little toiletry bag and, as you move to squeeze past Changbin at the door, he eyes the fluffy shroud you're clutching to your chest.

     He raises a sleepy eyebrow.

     "I'm sure Nari has pants you could..."

     "I'm wearing pants!" you bluster, "They just...don't fit."

      You move out of the doorway to make your way back to your room, but a hand cups the side of your face and turns it as soft lips meet your forehead. 

     "Good night, noona," he murmurs with a little smile before retreating back into his room.

     You stand in the hall, staring at his door, the butterflies absolutely aflurry.

     Despite your best efforts, you can't sleep. Your mind is full of the last five hours. Full of Changbin.

     He had kissed you. You had kissed him back. And it had felt...

     You roll from your side to your back, sighing up at the dark ceiling. You chew on your lip as you remember breaking down and his arms around you. You would usually feel regretful and ashamed after baring yourself like that to someone. You despised moments of weakness. But you couldn't bring yourself to hate the moments in his arms. You didn't regret them. In fact, you wanted him to hold you again. You wanted to feel vulnerable in his hands, and you wanted him to keep you safe.

     You feel heat rush up from your neck as you recognize these feelings.

     You must be absolutely shameless, you conclude in wonder. You should be freaking out right now - this was Changbin, for Christ's sake – Nari's brother! You should be wondering what happens next, and what all of it means...but even so you can’t bring yourself to care. All your mind can focus on is how his arms felt like waking up after a nightmare to song birds and soft sunlight.

     After an hour or so of tossing and turning, the salty pizza from dinner has you parched and slipping out to the kitchen for a drink. You pull a glass from the cupboard and fill it at the fridge, gulping down the contents to refill it again. Suddenly, you feel two strong arms snake around your waist and you start, sloshing your water and smacking the back of your head into the man holding you. You hastily set your glass down and turn in his arms as he lets out a groan, one of his hands releasing you as it flies up to cup the front of his face in pain.

     "Bin, oh my god! Are you okay? You scared me!" you chide with a chuckle as you reach up to push his hand away and brush the tips of your fingers across his nose. 

    He pouts down at you and you smile.

     "Did I wake you?"

     He huffs.

     "Yeah. To get your toothbrush. Then I couldn't go back to sleep."

     "Sorry," you groan, still stroking over where you had struck his face. "Does it hurt?" 

     He nods.

     "Kiss it better," he mumbles cutely.

     You roll your eyes, but lift your lips to comply when suddenly he interrupts the motion with the soft press of his mouth to yours. It's slow and sweet, and you're struck all over again with how quickly you melt at his touch - a sensation you cannot imagine ever growing accustomed to, but to which you are fairly certain you are in danger of growing entirely addicted.

     "Bin..." you whisper against his lips, "Bin, what are we-"

     "Liar," he murmurs, pulling back.

     Your mouth parts in confusion as you stare up at him, still drunk on his lips.

     "You said the clothes didn't fit. You should wear this all the time," he smirks as he squeezes low on your waist.

     Your cheeks heat as you remember what you're wearing, but you don't have long to be anxious over it as he presses his lips to your nose...the corner of your mouth...your jaw. You tremble as you lean into him, fingers splaying over his warm, bare chest.

     "Let me show you," he whispers against your skin.

     "Sh-show me...what...?"

     He draws back, pressing his forehead to yours.

     "How perfect you are."

     You still, eyes flicking up to his. They're dark and tender and pleading. You let out a little shuddering breath.

     "I...you don't have t-"

     His arms hold you closer, gentle but insistent.

     "Let me," he whispers, the tip of his handsome nose brushing over the dip of your cupid's bow. "Please. I want to."

     You swallow, eyes dropping to his lips. You want it too, you find. You want his hands and lips and eyes all over you, bringing warmth everywhere they meet your aching body. You nod and take his lips again with yours. 

     "Yeah?" he murmurs against them.

     "Yeah," you breathe, slipping a hand up the back of his neck and into his hair.

     He groans in response, deepening the kiss as he licks at your parted lips and when your tongues brush, sparks burst in your belly. You feel it all slipping, the masks, the walls - every barrier you hold up to shield yourself from not being enough. His arms are strong and his lips are tender and you can't focus on anything but the perfection of being so utterly held.

     His mouth moves to caress your jaw, under your ear, down the column of your neck, and suddenly you feel the edge of the counter pressing into the small of your back. His hands grip your waist and he hitches you onto the tiled surface with ease. It's cold against your bare legs, but you don't have more than a second to register the discomfort as Changbin nudges his way between your knees. He runs his hands over your thighs as his eyes trail from your panting lips to your lightly heaving chest.

     You feel your nipples pebble under his gaze and a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, his eyes glinting with mischief as he runs a hand up your side, over your shirt, to rest under the swell of your breast. He flicks a thumb over the hardened bud and you whimper and jump. He laughs softly, his smirk spreading into a full smile as he squeezes your breast and brings his eyes to yours.

     "Your pretty body likes me, noona," he puffs proudly, massaging you deftly through the soft cotton of the tee.

     You don't have a witty retort. Your body likes him so much that it frightens you. And with the deep affection you already feel, have long felt, for him...

     You reach to gently tangle your hand again in his coarse, dark curls. He glances up, a sweet little smirk tugging at his pretty lips again. 

     "Bin..." you sigh.

     "Hmm?" he hums as he slips his hands to your bottom and tugs you forward so that you're flush against him.

     You dip your head and your lips ghost his.

     "Nothing," you whisper, and you kiss him again. Again and again.

     His hands slide from your ass to slip beneath your shirt at your lower waist and he kneads the soft flesh above your hips.

     "So soft. Feels so good," he groans into your mouth.

     You moan as the walls of your pussy contract. You're beginning to ache, beginning to drip – and his words seem to affect you as intensely as his touch.

     He moves his lips to latch onto the soft skin of your neck and suck, his hands bunching your shirt up and up until his mouth pops free from your skin and he's pulling the thin garment over your head and tossing it aside. The cool air pricks your skin and you become keenly aware, for the briefest moment, that you are sitting on your best friend's kitchen counter, stripped down to her sleep shorts, with her brother between your thighs. As your brain races to decide whether to find that incredibly arousing or absolutely panic-inducing, Changbin's cherry lips rewire your neurological pathways in favor of the former when they close around your right nipple. Your head lolls back, colliding with the cabinet door and it clatters. 

     "Shit..." you hiss softly, threading your hands into his hair and gripping it by the roots.

     Your eyes slip shut and you focus on the sensation of his warm tongue slipping over the peaks of your breasts, his strong, smooth palms cupping and caressing. And then you feel his little puffs of breath and the nudge of his nose at the valley of your chest as he groans and smushes your tits up to meet his face. 

     "I fucking live here now," he mumbles into the globe of your breast, and despite the heat of the moment, you softly laugh. You laugh and you feel his smile pressed to your skin.

     Then suddenly he's pulling you into his arms in a bridal carry. You know he's strong, as you wrap your arms around his neck, but can't push away a pang of self-consciousness as he bears your weight. 

     "Bin, I'm so heavy..."

     "You're not."

     "I don't want you to..."

     "Stop it," comes his voice in a soft, deep command as he halts in his tracks to kiss you.

     He kisses you and kisses you until you believe that he could carry you until the end of time, and then he takes you into the guest bedroom and sits you gently on the bed. The bed with the mussed sheets that smell like him. The sheets that he's leaning you into as you push yourself to the middle of the bed while he hovers over the top of your body, his lips never leaving yours.

     As he sinks down over you, the weight of his body pressing you into the mattress has warmth licking through your veins. You move your hands to caress over his broad back, feeling his muscles ripple beneath your fingers as he shifts to prop himself up on his elbow. You use the free space to trace your hand down his chest and abdomen until you reach the waistband of his pants. If he'd just push himself a few inches up you could...

     He pulls away, just barely breathless, and his eyes find yours. He reaches down with his right hand to pull yours gently from between your bodies and to his lips, before threading his fingers through yours and pressing your joined hands into the sheets beside your head.

     "I want to eat you out."

     He says it so simply, so confidently, and you can feel more arousal gush to join what's already begun to paint your inner thighs. 

     "Fuck..." you breathe, your fingers trembling in his grasp.

     "Can I?" he asks, kissing your lips softly again.

     For a moment you're afraid of what saying yes will mean, of the intimacy of it all, of the possibility that you won't measure up, someway, somehow, or maybe...that you will - and what in the world you would do with that level of acceptance...

     You let out a shaky sigh, as you hold his gaze. It arrests you and washes over you. You remember his eyes as he knelt on the living room floor, and all they pleaded with you to disbelieve, to unlearn. 

     Yes. Yes...If it's him, you want it, whatever it means.

     You surge forward, pressing your lips to his, your hands weaving through his hair, pulling him in. He lets out a tiny whimper as you devour him, kissing him with determined abandon until you have to come up for air.

     "Yes, Bin, yes," you shudder into his mouth as he pants over you. “Yes I want you to.”

In answer, he presses one last tender kiss to your lips before moving to kiss down your body. He moves slowly, but with purpose, pressing an adoring mouth to every part of you that’s bared. He kisses your ear, your neck, your collarbones…he moves over your shoulders and down your right arm to the tip of each finger. He kisses your breasts and down your stomach. He kisses your belly button, and over your hips and down your left thigh. He kisses the inside of your knee, and bends your leg to kiss over your calf and down to your ankle. 

You can barely watch him, as he brushes his lips over you, but he flicks his eyes up to yours so often you don’t dare look away. There is something flickering in his gaze, something like a challenge - daring you to contradict, to doubt what he seeks to impress upon you - and you begin to feel something strange and new. Something you’d never found at the touch of a lover, blooming in your chest and unfurling like a proud little flower under the sun: the strong, heady beauty of esteeming yourself worthy of his desire. It terrifies you a bit, and the ugly voice that has heckled you so often tries to cast doubt, but Changbin’s lips and hands are too persistent and assured for the harbinger in your mind to linger long. And the tidal wave of lovely feelings crashing over you threatens to destroy the shabby prison your heart has lingered in for so long.

Changbin lays his head on your thigh as he brings his hand off the other to cup your pussy over the softness of your shorts. His groan is nearly as loud as yours when he rubs over your mound, and it makes you impossibly wetter. He’s so unabashed and liberal with reacting to what he enjoys, and he is clearly enjoying you as much as he ever has anything.

He moves to bring his face to your clothed cunt, hovering over you for a nanosecond to catch your eyes as he mouths down over you. Your jaw drops open, and when his teeth scrape dully over your clit, your hips jerk and you fist the sheets. Changbin pulls back with a smirk, and sits back on his knees between your legs. He pulls one of your legs up to lean against his shoulder as his hands instinctively knead over the muscles of your calf and thigh.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, with a little smile.

You nod with one of your own.

“I’m gonna lift you, okay? You can hold onto my legs, but I’ll have you, so don’t worry.”

You bite your lip and nod, suddenly a little shy. Look at him. Where did he get all this confidence?

He drops your leg briefly to tug off your shorts and panties, cursing at how wet you are, and gently slipping two fingers to brush between your glistening lips and over your clit. You gasp at the sensation - his fingers deft, his touch soft but firm where you ache for him. And then, suddenly, he is sliding your legs back up to rest against his chest and shoulders. His hands slip down to your hips and he effortlessly tugs your ass over the incline of his thighs and flush with his abdomen. Your heart starts to thrum in your chest. His body is warm and sturdy against the soft plush of your ass. Heat floods your cheeks when you sense a slickness against him where your arousal has begun to smear against his stomach. He, however, is far less bashful. Widening the gap between your thighs, he dips his head down, inhaling deeply.

"Fuck…" he murmurs, squeezing your legs where he holds them. 

When he raises his eyes to yours again, they’re unlike you’ve ever seen. They’re dark and hungry and hooded in a way that nearly intimidates you. His expression is full of heat, and manly in its sudden gravity. He watches you as he slips his thumbs under your waist and, slowly with strong hands, pulls your hips up beneath his chin. Your legs bend at the knees and drape around the crown of his head. Your spine curves where your upper back is flush with his thighs, your arm on either side of his kneeling form, and as he embraces you tightly around the hips and waist, you feel nearly every ounce of your weight suspended in his hold. The blood rushes to your head where it lays against the mattress, your neck curving just shy of his knees, offering a clear view of his gorgeous face as he wastes no time in pressing his open mouth to your labia. 

Your core muscles flex in response, hips pressing higher against him as you feel ripples of exquisite pleasure trickle through your body from above. The smooth muscle of his tongue slips past your entrance and begins fucking into you. Your head swims, the slightest dizzying restriction of oxygen dampening your ability to focus on anything but the bliss of his hot, wet mouth. Being tasted has never felt this intense. You whimper, your hands reaching around his body to find purchase on his muscular ass. You feel the press of his throbbing erection into your back as his tongue fucks unhurriedly into you. He’s rock hard, and all for you. From the sight of your naked body, the feel of you in his hands, the taste of you on his tongue. From the sounds pouring off of your lips as he worships your sex. 

Your legs begin to shake. You’re so totally in his hands. He holds you, lavishes you, consumes you. Nothing stands between you and ecstasy, and you can feel your climax fast approaching as pleasure ebbs and flows like a crashing tide on the rhythm of his firm, languid strokes.

"Ch-Changbin! Nhhh!" you mewl, you voice throaty and muffled from your position. 

He growls against you and you nearly cum then. One of his hands drops to squeeze the soft mound of your right breast. Your cheeks burn, sweat beginning to bead on your forehead and neck. You can feel your pussy throbbing - hot and sticky and swollen with stimulation - as he devours it like the flesh of ripened fruit. His lips encircle your clit and suckle as the tip of his tongue flicks over the erect peak of your bud.

And then it all goes white. You lose all sense but feeling as you rock your hips up to meet him, the tension in your abdominals adding sinfully to the fluttering pulsating of your pussy. There’s nothing but you and him and his arms around you and his mouth against the most intimate parts of you as your orgasm washes over you in electrifying slow-motion, pulling you under a tidal wave of bliss for what seems like an eternity. Your lips part in a silent scream of his name, your eyes pressed shut, as he works you through the longest and most intense climax your body has ever experienced.

You feel him place one last sweet, gentle kiss to your cunt before moving the hand on your breast to one of your thighs as he guides you back down onto the bed. You’re panting and boneless as you watch him draw an arm over his cum-slicked chin and cheeks. For a moment he simply looks down at you, a victorious air about him as his eyes trace your sated features and his gorgeous chest heaves with labored breath, then he crawls forward on the bed, stretching himself out on his side next to you, his body flush with your own. He slips his hand over the soft skin of your belly and rubs it soothingly as he watches you with a little grin.

“You good?” he asks in a raspy murmur.

You reach for his face, bringing it to yours as you kiss him with what wherewithal you have. You pull away, still breathless.

“Am I good? Seo Changbin, I think I could fly.”

His answering smile is so filled with joy and pride and affection that you think you truly may have sprouted wings. You roll to your side to press yourself against him, your hand tugging at the waistband of his pajamas, but he takes your hand again in his.

“Not tonight.”

“Why?”

“Tonight is yours.”

“Bin…”

“I’m yours.”

You blink up at him, his head resting on his hand, his eyes sparkling and soft.

“If you’ll have me,” he raises your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles. “You don’t have to answer right now. I know you’re going through a lot, and this is all…new.” 

He smiles again, glancing down as his features take on a boyish shyness.

  “But I care for you. And, however things work out,” his eyes lock with yours again, “I’ll always protect you.” 

Your heart stands still. There are things that are too deeply lovely for words to be wasted on them. Any words but three - three that are already deeply true, but which have begun to mean something beautiful and different tonight, burying themselves like a little seed in your heart that needs time to grow. So for now you let yourself cry tears that fall like raindrops in the sunlight, and drift to sleep with the steady beat of Changbin’s heart.

“Ay!” Nari’s voice cuts through the din of chatter as her hand shoots out to narrowly prevent a fellow patron from snagging the chair beside her. “Sorry, seats are taken.”

She takes a sip of her beer and stretches her short legs as far as they will reach across the two empty chairs beside her.

“The guys are gonna have to hustle if they’re gonna sit with us,” she says reproachfully, dark brows rising as her eyes scan the venue for the bodies that belong in the seats you have been desperately attempting to reserve for the last hour.

The Eight Ball is crowded to bursting, and you scan the stage for signs of the evening’s openers. Checking your phone, you find that it’s nearly eight. You also find a text that brings a smirk to your lips.

“What?”

You glance up at Nari, who’s staring at you suspiciously.

“Nothing…” you mumble, flipping your phone back over onto the table. You sip your cocktail through a straw.

“Are you texting him?”

You nearly choke on your drink.

“What? Who?”

“You know who,” Nari mocks, narrowing her eyes at you. “The jerkwad.”

“Oh my god, Nari, no!” you sigh, as your phone buzzes again. 

She glances at it.

“Then what was with the look? Who are you…”

“Are these for us?” a voice belonging to a smiling, dimpled young man in a black hoodie with a matching beanie pulled over his head saves you from further explanation.

“Jesus, Chris, finally,” Nari admonishes as he takes the seat next to you, pulling her legs off the remaining chairs to free them up for the other two men that follow behind him. 

The freckled blond pulls Nari into a side hug which she returns, booping his nose before leaning across him to peer menacingly at his friend.

“Yo, Jisung,” she barks, “If you’re gonna order several hundred pizzas, how about taking some with you next time? My fridge is still stuffed.”

The young man blinks wide, surprised eyes at her before his brain catches up with her scolding.

“Sorry, but it wasn’t my fault!” he insists poutingly. “I ordered them because Changbin asked me to and then he canceled gaming weekend ‘cause he had a girl over.” he grumbles, causing the other two to snicker.

“Nice,” Chris giggles.

This time you do choke.

Your eyes fly to your best friend, watching the barrage of questions bubbling up on her face when a voice cuts through the din, silencing the crowd and unknowingly saving himself for the time being.

“Good evening, Eight Ballers!” Changbin rasps into his mic as Hyunjin waves, as ridiculously beautiful as ever, beside him.

You look at Changbin’s eyes.

They’re bright and confident and determined. You smile and cheer when he finishes introductions. As the band hits the first few notes of the opening number, his gaze finds yours, and it’s full of so many things.

His eyes sparkle with seven days worth of secrets – of waking up to your eyes and arms, of a weekend of nothing but bare bodies and hearts, of weeknight phone calls until the wee hours of the morning…of a new way of caring for each other that you’ll eventually tell the others, but that is just yours for now.

As you look at him, so full of adoration, you hope you can offer him even a fraction of the new world he’s only just begun to share with you – and the reflection you see a little more beautifully each day in the light of his eyes.

-Fin-

[elliespeach]

no chances part four | ellie williams

˗ˏˋ"you still wanna ask me those questions?" ´ˎ˗

pairing: ellie williams x afab reader synopsis: you and ellie are on rival volleyball teams and after letting your competitive nature get the better of both of you, tensions are high on and off the court. warnings: 18+ we made it yall it's smut time. mentions of weed, foul language, explicit sexual descriptions, r! receiving fingering/head, thigh riding, scissoring, slight choking kink, fight then fuck kinda deal wordcount: 3.1k author note: hi hi lets pretend that the car ride actually took an hour they do it in minutes but lets just pretend ok? ok. i have been in a slump this week my brain is attacking me so i hope this is well enough for yall i didn't wanna leave u hanging!! i have plans i cannot share w you guys ab this series n i am hype asffff but anyway enjoy

when her car left the parking lot it was silent. the radio played softly but you or ellie didn’t utter a word. suddenly the reality of what she had offered sunk in, you two had an hour drive together. ellie focused on driving while you stared out into the window at the dark road. she had almost kissed you again and for the first time it didn’t raise any alarm bells in your head. everything was calm in those moments inches from her face, as if the world had been swept away from underneath the two of you. hearing the song on the radio dim out, your head turned to face her. ellie’s eyes were fixed on the road, one arm at the top of the wheel with the other resting on the gear knob. she caught you in her peripheral and her head turned slightly. 

“we don’t even know wh–” 

“i think you played–” 

you both spoke over each other, attempting to awkwardly break the silence that had enveloped you. ellie laughed lightly and it was probably the first time you had ever heard her laugh, “you go,” she said, turning the wheel to make a left and you caught a glimpse at her hands, gripped firmly around the wheel and a memory of them doing the same to your hips flashed in your mind before you cleared your throat to rid of it. 

“i was just gonna say we don’t even know who won the game,” you recalled, your hands placing themselves in your lap and pressing your legs together slightly. 

“oh, yeah–” she swiveled her head to catch a quick glance at you before focusing back on the road. “my money’s on my team.” she said cockily, again turning the wheel with only one hand. 

“only cause i wasn’t playing, right?” you banter, remembering her somewhat of a confession from your walk. she rolled her eyes but a small smile crept on the sides of her lips as she did. 

“oh my god, that is not what i fuckin’ said,” she laughed again, another quick glance at you, who was smiling proudly earning another eye roll from her. 

“what were you gonna say?” you asked her, peeling off your knee pads from your legs as they started to itch. 

ellie glanced down at your movement, quickly pulling her eyes back up to the road, “oh uhm–” she readjusted her grip on the steering wheel. “just that, your coach was stupid to pull you, you were doing fine.” 

your head snapped towards her, a dramatic shocked expression on your face. “a compliment? how did you not just implode spontaneously?” 

ellie shifted in her seat, bringing her hand that was previously on the gear shift to the bottom of the wheel and leaning on the window with her now free arm. “just say thank you like a normal person?” her tone had a hint of annoyance but the sly smile on her face gave her away, and instead of prying it out of her you just accepted it. 

“thanks–” your eyes darted back out to the road, out of the seclusion that was the community center and into a more urban area with street lamps and business on either side of the road. your eyes caught the highway sign right as you passed it and you sat up, your head turning to see it fade back into darkness as her car kept moving. “that was the highway,” you turned to her, her head snapping back as if to see the sign herself but her eyes returned to the road in front of her within seconds. 

“fuck,” she uttered under her breath. the car started to slow down, taking a quick look around the road. “one sec,” she turned her car to the left, placing it as close to the curb as she could, then shifted the car into reverse. her arm swung around to the back of your headrest and her body moved with it. you couldn’t help but stare as she did, her eyes fixed on the road behind you. because of her positioning, you could see the outline of her muscle filled arm, as if she was flexing them. the movement of her upper body made her shirt ride up in the front, exposing some of her toned stomach and before any thoughts could come to mind you darted your eyes away. 

ellie could feel as you watched and when she turned her head to meet your eyes they were already gone and she swiftly put the car back in drive before pulling away. the radio was the only thing audible in the car as she turned on the highway, picking up speed as she did and her car revved over the radio. you waited until she was comfortably cruising in the fast lane before speaking again, hating the words that came out of your mouth but not being able to do anything to stop yourself, “so can we talk about the big fat elephant that's in the car?” 

ellie sighed while checking her rearview mirror then looking at you briefly, “if you want to,” 

“why wouldn’t i?” 

“i dunno,” she shrugged, keeping her eyes on the highway in front of her. it was quiet again but only for a moment before she continued. “i can’t give you an explanation, if that's what you want.” she almost sounded disappointed in herself. 

“why not?” 

ellie rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath in. “why don’t you give me an explanation?” 

“because you kissed me, you cuddled with me, you almost kissed me again.” you listed off your reasons, using your fingers to count them off and she looked annoyed. 

“i didn’t do it alone–” her tone was harsh, as if the conversation was treading on thin ice. 

“yeah, but you started it.” you returned her attitude, feeling a familiar fight coming on. 

“do you want me to sit here and tell you that i did it for a reason? there was no reason–” ellie used her hand that was resting on the gears to emphasize her words, feeling agitated that you brought this up when the ride was going smoothly. the high was wearing off between the two of you and with it went the calm that had settled too. 

“why are you being so cagey?” your voice raised slightly. ellie switched lanes, seeing the exit she had to take in the distance. 

“why are you asking so many fucking questions?” she returned your raised voice, turning the wheel to take the exit. the ramp was long and curved and she slowed to a stop at the red light at the end of it. taking the time to turn to you, a grimace on her face.

you groaned, crossing your arms and leaning your knees against the car door away from her. “just thought we could have a legit conversation, but that seems out of your capabilities.” 

ellie pressed on the gas when the light turned green, making a turn towards your campus. the drive had felt like the longest and the shortest in your life, and now you kind of wished you took the bus. she remained quiet as you did, noticing your position in her passenger seat. “jesus fuckin’ christ,” she breathed out as the welcome sign to your campus came into view. 

you started again, “i just think its funny becau–” 

the car came to a halt on the deserted road sending you forward and you looked at her in disbelief. she quickly put the car in park and as you looked at her face only illuminated by the orange dashboard in front of her, you couldn’t read her. “what the hell, ellie?” you questioned, looking around and you thought she wanted you to walk the rest of the way. 

her hands came up to your face, redirecting your focus to her. she cupped your cheeks and brought your lips to hers. although the anger for her in you was still firmly in your chest, you didn’t fight her instead leaning further into the kiss. her tongue found yours like it had in the bathroom weeks ago, slipping it’s way over your tongue harshly sending shivers throughout your body. butterflies danced in your stomach as her hand left your face, wandering down your body to explore. 

you wanted to be closer, the middle console blocking any other physical contact you two could share. while still letting her tongue roam your mouth, you moved over the console and placed yourself in her lap. it was uncomfortable, but her hands instantly wrapped around your hips and slid down to grab your ass. you rocked your body against hers, liking the feeling of her underneath you and she squeezed your ass tightly. your lips disconnected from hers and instead found her neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses all over it. ellie’s breathing was barely recovering and as you kissed her neck, incoherent mumbles and short quick breaths filled your ears. 

her hands that had been running up and down your back found their way in between you two, groping your tits firmly and you hummed against her neck at the feeling. the pressure formed between your legs all the faster as she massaged them, keeping one hand placed on your breast, squeezing as much as she could, she used her other hand and traced it up your chest to your neck, wrapping her fingers lightly around it. this pulled you back from her neck, making eye contact with her green eyes. though the green had vanished, replaced with dilated eyes glossed over with every touch you placed on her. 

she studied your face, her hand still around your neck. her head tilted, taking you all in while you straddled her lap and a sly smile formed on her wet lips, “you still wanna ask me those questions?” her voice raspy, hoarse even and she tightened her grip on your neck ever so slightly. way different than it was before and it took everything in you not to melt in her lap. 

“shut up,” you groaned, bringing your face back down to kiss her again, rolling your body against her. you could feel her smirk against the kiss, retreating her hands back down to your hips to move with them against her. the smirk didn’t diminish and this time it was you who snuck your hand up to her neck, gripping with the same firmness she had, you broke the kiss but hovered over her lips as her eyes opened to meet yours separated by only millimeters, “you are insufferable.” 

a light chuckle came from her, sinking her fingers into your hips, “and yet here you are,” her neck extending to allow your grip to remain. there was a beat of silence, both of your heavy breathing over powering the radio that still played lightly in the background. you let go of her neck, sliding your hand down her torso and feeling her tits through the layers of clothing. she attached her mouth to your neck as you had done, sucking a little too hard and you worried about hickeys but it felt too good in the moment to tell her to stop. but she did and her words bounced off of your now sensitive skin, “do you have a roommate?” 

that’s how you ended up barging into your dorm with her hands all over you, slamming the door shut behind her without ever breaking the kiss. she pushed you against the closest wall, gripping your skin in her hands before trailing kisses down your neck to your stomach, getting on her knees as she slid off your shorts to reveal the very small underwear you had on. she kissed your pussy through your underwear and you had to stop your knees from buckling at the feeling. a wet spot was very obviously noticeable on your panties and it only intensified ellie’s efforts. using her teeth she bit down on the top of your underwear, pulling it down as much as she could before your dripping cunt was in front of her. she used her fingers to move your panties down further, running her hands back up your legs as she looked up at you with lustful eyes. 

she lifted one of your legs, slinging it over her shoulder before plunging her tongue into your folds. you bit down on your lip to keep from moaning and your fingers laced themselves in her auburn hair, her tongue already better than anything you could do to yourself. it traced circles on your clit and as she shoved herself deeper into your pussy, you couldn’t help the moans that slipped out of your mouth. with hearing this, ellie was brought back to the bathroom and her brain went into overdrive. she removed her tongue only to then suck on your clit, feeling your leg shake on her shoulder and she brought a finger up to run through your slick. 

she looked at you as she did, her mouth a wet mess and you were in shambles above her. her finger teasingly ran up and down your exposed cunt, giving you just enough but not nearly anything close to the feeling over her tongue. your head leaned back against the wall and your eyes shut tight and she tsk’d, still moving her finger lightly, “eyes on me–” she breathed out, waiting for you to look back at her. when you did, a small smile formed on her lips and she brought her slender finger down your cunt. she slid her finger in, never taking her eyes off of you and watching as you crumble before her. when your chest started to heave as she thrust her finger in and out of you, she brought her mouth back to your clit. 

you were a mess. dripping on her face and bucking your hips as she went to work, the sensation feeling too good and you felt the familiar twinge below your belly button. you were saying her name between breaths and it only made ellie go harder, pumping her fingers as quickly as she could and revolving her tongue through your slick. without warning she retreated, kissing your stomach while she stood back up. your hands found her face to drag her into a long kiss, she pulled you off of the wall and backed you into your own bed. your elbows propped you up as you watched her tower over you, you used this time to yank off your shirt and sports bra, leaving your chest bare for her.

ellie slipped off her own shorts, her underwear with it before climbing on top of you, reconnecting her lips to yours. you tugged on her shirt and it was off in seconds thrown god knows where. she sat up, tracing her fingers along your body as you laid beneath her and it looked like she wanted to say something but refrained herself. instead, lifting up one of your legs and placing herself so her own drenched pussy was atop of yours. she rocked her hips back and forth, feeling the wetness from both of you spread. mumbles left her mouth as she held your leg in the air, covering her own moans by placing soft and sweet kisses on your leg. ellie steadied herself by clutching onto one of your breasts. her pace began to be ragged, feeling herself come nearly undone. she looked down at you, mouth open and eyes in a haze as you gazed back up at her and despite nearing her finish she leaned down so that her thigh was now pressed against your cunt. you whined into her mouth as she kissed you, the tipping sensation leaving as quickly as it came. 

she shuffled off of you, leaning her back to the wall and patted her lap. while you sat down on her lap, she removed her sports bra. her hands fell to your figure and she gazed at you, that unreadable expression still plastered on her face. she looked down at you on her lap and shook her head lightly, “like this–” she moved your body, lifting your leg to move her own out of the way so you were just sitting on her thigh. she tucked your knee in between her legs and her green eyes focused back on you. 

moving your hips on her thigh, ellie kneaded on your tits. she enveloped them in her hands while your knee rubbed against her cunt. your hands rested on her legs behind you, back arching and tits out. ellie wasn’t able to conceal her moans at the sight of you and the feeling deep in her stomach. her hands dug into your thighs, pulling them with every thrust of your hips. “h-holy fuck,” she tossed her head back. the sound of her voice was enough for you to start moving faster, and as you did ellie straightened her posture. she wrapped her arms around your back, pulling you closer while you rocked desperately against her thigh. 

your foreheads crashed, heavy and hot breath spread across each of your faces. with this, you unraveled. cursing coming out of your mouth along with her name in pants while you shook around her thigh, feeling on top of the world. ellie’s hands moved to your tits, watching you cum on her and feeling your tits in her hands she tipped over the edge as well. her breathing was ragged against you and her forehead left yours while she tipped her head back, eyes rolling. you fell on her chest, while both of you tried to return your breathing back to normal. 

she sat with you for a few minutes in silence, you had moved off of her thigh and laid beside her, arm draped over her stomach. her arm was on your back, rubbing small circles. after a bit more of quiet, which seemed to be one of your specialities, you sat up and her eyes followed you. and again, you both spoke over each other. 

“i should go to bed–” 

“i should probably go–” 

without much less, ellie pulled herself off the bed and collected her clothes that had been scattered. you pulled on your own shirt and the awkward silence was heavy in the room. after she had dressed she moved towards the door, hand on the handle. “i’ll see you at the next game?” her eyes scanned your face. 

“yeah, i’ll see you then,” you said painfully and without so much of a second glance she left, the door swinging shut behind her. 

part five

[caitlinsgirl]

Locked Eyes

- summary: first person perspective of a sports journalist who is failing miserably at her job.

- warnings: implied d*rty thought, minors dni

- word count; 771

- songs

softly by clairo

i think he knows by taylor swift

- note: i don't know shit about sports, so please feel free to correct any technical details i got wrong. i hope you enjoy!

              

               God is playing a joke on me. God is playing a sick, cruel joke on me. I am going to get fired from my job for this. My amazing, dream, well-paying job with amazing PTO and retirement benefits.

            Just for a short, close glimpse of her… and it might be worth it.

            I have been sitting at this courtside seat for over an hour. The players have started to warm up, but the plastic under my legs feels cold. The pencil in my hand is covered in nail marks from my grip, as if it could provide the mercy that I desperately need right now. A writer with nothing to write. Nothing but, God she's so beautiful, and, Is she making eye contact with me? Fuck, no, that's crazy, wait, did she just do it again?

            Otherworldly is an understatement. Beautiful is an understatement. Hot is closer to the truth. Stunning, breathtaking, striking… I cannot seem to find the words to describe the way Caitlin Clark's magnetism binds me helpless, speechless, and spineless. Each glance from her feels like an attempt to stop my heart from performing its function. Against my will, but with my delight, my eyes follow her tall figure as she runs up and down the court. How long are basketball games, again? Did a sports journalist just forget that minor detail?

            It was one thing to attend her games in person from a further seat in the arena. Now, sitting this close to her, it feels like I could reach out my hand and run my fingers through her sweaty pin-straight hair.

            The noise of the cheering crowd drowns into muffled white noise with every charming move. How hot it is when she gets upset with an opposing team member. The upset look on her face is unapologetic and confident. My heart beats faster at the sight of it, and I cannot help but to wonder what it would be like to be protected by her the way she protects herself, her team. Just a few feet away.

            God, it is almost annoying. Her unwavering resilience, her iron focus, her muscular arms and shoulders… I did not even know it was possible for a woman in this cruel world to be that comfortable in her own skin. Come to think of it, comfortable would be an insulting understatement. She is demanding the room and the thousands of people in it. I want to get up from my seat and run into her strong arms.

            My haze is interrupted by the sudden flurry of extra-loud cheers from the crowd. One of the Indiana Fever's players scored, and I was too preoccupied with player 22 to notice. Caitlin was not the one to advance the scoreboard, but her infectious satisfaction and desire to win lights up the room. She moved her arms upwards, hyping up the crowd’s collective energy in the reveling of victory. Thank you, God, for allowing my eyes adjust the scene to slow motion; her strong shoulders, her long muscular arms, leading up to her pale long fingers… I watch her hands in the air and my lungs give up when I see the way that her middle two fingers stick to each other. Could that be muscle memory?

            Then, she remembers. I see it on her face the millisecond before she turns her head to look at me, again. Look at me, again. Look at me, look at me, no one else me. She remembers I exist, and it matters enough to break her concentration of the game onto me.

            I wonder what she sees when she catches my view. Does she see the way my cheeks have been flushed in amazement this entire game? How stupid I look with my lips slightly parted with desire? How my ankles cross over each other with school-girl hesitation? She holds our eye contact for a few seconds, and they feel like blissful eternity. It was like the crowd, players, and professionals melted into the floor. The roof sinks upwards to reveal a Paris starry night, and she is the angel standing across the street, manifested just for me.

            My girlish desire paints itself over my face and my lips melt into a smile, a smile that says I adore you. My writing hand, pencil still in hand, reaches up to my hair to fidget with the ends. In an instant, our moment is interrupted by her game. She focuses again, but with a lingering and flattered smile. Could it be the adrenaline, could it be all that running? Her cheeks are flushed the same color as her uniform.

[ponett]

Do you think the Sonic franchise should memory hole certain characters? Like, Chaos Gamma, Elise, Mephiles for example (I would’ve put Black Doom here but uh, he’s a bit more around now huh)

I mean, lots of one-off Sonic characters like these already ARE memory holed. They only really exist in the games they originate from. (Ian Flynn bringing up the thought of using them in a podcast does not count as them being relevant again)

I get the desire to play with all the toys in the toy box and give old ideas a second chance that fans (and Ian) have, and there are definitely a handful of currently unused or underused characters I'd like to see come back. (We REALLY need Sticks back, and the Classic comics desperately need more Honey.) And I'm glad we're in this era where the Sonic series is less ashamed of its weird history. But also, like. Some of those were genuine missteps, and we've moved on for a reason

It feels like every month I see more and more Gen Z Sonic fans who weren't even old enough to have played the games when they were new reminisce about how "cool" it was to give Shadow a gun, or how "awesome" 06's story was, and how we should go back to that "peak" era for Sonic, and I just cannot get on board with that. It was called the Dark Age of Sonic at the time for a reason. I had to actually play those games when they came out. I was hyped for them and really, REALLY wanted to love them. But they were janky, ugly, unfun games with terrible stories that abandoned so much of Sonic's identity in favor of chasing contemporary trends. They were Sonic games that wanted to be anything BUT a Sonic game. There may have been some stuff I liked in that era (the Rush games, and honestly I always liked Black Knight), but it was miserable not knowing if we'd ever get another truly good 3D Sonic platformer again

Maybe it's easier to look back on certain elements of those games fondly now that time has passed and we know we did, in fact, get more Sonic games after them that were actually good. But Sonic is in a WAAAAAYYYYY better place now than it was when I was in middle school. I do not yearn for Mephiles and Elise to come back. It would be funny if they did, but I don't think we need them

[guxciestone]

— WHY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❞

(pick a card reading)

🌷✧

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤㅤ༉‧₊˚.

i want to let you know that you are loved and cared for even if it doesn’t seem that way in your life right now. you are beautiful/handsome, capable, important, and worthy; and you are and will always be destined for great things because that’s the reason why we have been put here. i might not know you, but i just know i would adore you if i did 🤍😊

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pile one

I admire how witty and intelligent you are! Honestly, I feel you are always on top of things. You might get good grades in school, focused on your work/aspirations, or is an overachiever. You are truly someone who is meant for big things, and I pray and hope nothing or no one gets in your way. I literally look up to you; and If I ever met you, I would be so inspired because I need to step my game up, lol. You would be that one friend I would come to when I need to get things done. You might be someone who is brutally honest and always trying to improve yourself. You’re a warrior and you don’t play games! However, I would feel pity for you because you seem like a strong-minded and determined person, but you could struggle with perfectionism. You might get down on yourself from time to time for not doing much. You may be too focused on working on yourself to realize that people already love you for who you are and what you accomplish is just the cherry on top as to why we adore you. I just want to tell you right now that you most likely do more than enough. You are an excellent and already successful girl/boy, and I want you to remind yourself that. You don’t need to go above and beyond to prove yourself. I love you, and I hope you recognize that you deserve everything without doing everything :) On the positive note, I love that you have high standards for yourself, and you cannot accept nothing less because you want the best for yourself and your wellbeing. You might know how to walk away from toxic friendships/relationships, and you have outstanding self-worth (I really need you to be my hype man/woman please lol) I just want you to stop believing that everyone is coming out to get you and don’t have the best intentions. Because there are people out there who want to be your friend, lover, or someone who looks after you. You just need to stop holding up walls and let people in from time to time. It’s not a competition. You’ve proved yourself enough. I love the pride you hold and how you gain your confidence from your independence and handling your own. You are truly someone that people strive to be, whether you think that way or not.

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pile two

I just love how you never forget about the people who loved, cared, and changed for you the most and vice versa. You carry yourself in a meaningful way. I like how you always love giving gifts to people, whether it be handmade or bought—I love how gift giving is your love language. I might not like necessarily how you came from a childhood in where you didn’t have anyone to call “family”, but I adore how you understand the feeling to the point where you are always there for the people who have been through the same. I love how you created your home by finding your soul group, or you crave and strive to create that home. You work so hard for the people you care about, you almost tire yourself from doing so. I want you to know that it is okay to rest, and there is balance even in being productive. I love how you always strive to maintain peace and you try your best to avoid conflict. You are always willing to make friends and connections because that’s the very thing you are grateful for. I’m literally so enlightened and empowered by your pioneer and passionate personality, like I just know you are a ride-or-die type of person! You’re so supportive, you might even save up money for your loved ones if you can. I admire how you are building towards your future of security, warmth, and happiness because I know you will achieve it soon. I can’t wait to see you with your desired friend group, home, partner, or children. I wish nothing but the absolute best for you! You’re a delight to have as a loved one. Make sure you nurture yourself once in while though lovely. I swear your deserve it after all you’ve been through and done for others. And release your past so you can be ready for your amazing future. All love :)

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pile three

I love how you aren’t judgmental and critical of others. You’re the type to say “if you don’t have nothing nice to say, then don’t saying nothing at all.” You have enough empathy to understand that not everyone have it like everyone else, or you just don’t see the reason as to why you should judge someone for something they cannot control, and I literally adore you for that. Seriously. It’s so rare nowadays, especially in this generation, to have someone like you. You’re sensitive—you are aware of how powerful your words and actions are, and you make sure to not hurt anybody’s feelings in the process. I love how you are someone that loves “killing people with kindness”, you are a lover, not a fighter! (I’m trying to follow your mindset, for real) I feel you are this way because you might’ve been bullied, ostracized, or criticized a lot in school or in your childhood. You might have not recovered from that and you feel like a victim sometimes. I’m sorry you feel that way, and I want to let you know that it is okay to stand your ground. You are an angel on earth, and don’t let anything or ANYONE—especially anyone—make you feel you are too emotional or childish. Those people don’t deserve you if that’s the case. True people who care about you would savor your kindness and softness. I love how creative and imaginative you are, and I hope you go after your passions whether that be art, design, music, or anything else. Don’t let others influence you and how you feel about yourself because you are magnificent, and I love how you want to donate to charity and be a humanitarian! (For one or two of you: Let go of your toxic family or friends. They are only making you feel worse. You don’t deserve that type of energy, come on, you’re worth more. Know that, please.) Don’t be afraid to be assertive and stand up for yourself, you deserve to set boundaries and have needs/wants. Declare it, okay? I want you to feel great about yourself because you should.

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pile four

I love how radiant and extroverted you are! I feel like I would love being around you in social events because you are open to making friends with anybody and everybody and you don’t judge others off of their social status, personalities, hobbies, or whatever. You’re just here to have a good time. I feel like you would make me feel 10x more happier when I come around you. I admire how motivational and aspirational you are, always trying to shed light on people’s accomplishments and encourage others to do more for themselves (Oh yeah, I definitely need you around lol) You don’t like being around bad vibes and you’ll make this clear. I love your humor so much, like you always funnily try to gas people up and it’s hilarious. Always putting a smile on everyone’s face. I look up to how you aren’t afraid to express yourself and explore yourself in any way that may be. You’re unapologetically doing you, and you don’t mind being a lone wolf. You also seem very forgiving and you don’t have bad blood with anyone even if they have an issue with you (Unbothered king/queen) You’ve been in ruts before and you try to not take anything seriously to not get in that type of energy again. I love that about you and I aspire to be like you honestly lol. I also like how you seem in control of yourself. Like you know you are the creator of your own reality, so you are going to make your life into something. You know that everything is going to go your way either way it goes, and I really want that type of confidence haha <3 I hope you achieve your biggest of dreams :D

[impactedfates]

Yay requests are now open! So can I request a reader who is yanqing's sibling who plays sympathetic immersia (video game equivalent in Luofu) Genshin that Guinafein introduces them to it, even JY knew the game's hype and reader is immersed with the game's scenery, music and archon quests Reader also would blush every time they see genshin fanart of Wanderer or Xiao. Yanqing and JY would notice how they would look down and grin widely in their phone screen. Also the early AR shenanigans like unlocking dragonspine, trying to ice bridge to Inazuma and getting yeeted by a hilichurl and ofc the infamous dendro slime attacking when exploring Liyue. Overall, reader plays it and YQ is curious and JY is interested

★ A/N: If that were me they would hear me screaming at night when I get my various different characters (esp Kaveh and Zhongli) I hope you like this anon :>

☆ Genre/Trope: Platonic + Fluff

★ Format: Mini Scenarios (Separate)

☆ Warnings: None (I think?)

★ Extra: Reader is older then Yanqing // Readers job is whatever you want their job as // Father JY :D

Jing Yuan's heard of the game before however it wasn't until he heard you yelling in delight over a 5* you had gotten that he found out you were one of the many people that also has a delight in playing the game.

He's amused to see how much you like certain characters and how you, in your words, "simp" for others. In fact, I honestly think you probably did the "My parents rate Genshin Characters" trend with him. He ranked most of the characters very highly honestly. (He especially liked Cyno along with some of the sleepy characters like Lisa, Layla and Sayu)

Honestly he's very amused by all your reactions throughout the game, the audible gasps you may do when something surprises you, the loud cursing when you're fighting an enemy and the cries when you lose your 50/50 (maybe if you ask nice enough he'll give you his credit card)

I'd think he wishes to try out the game himself, however with the fact he's busy with General duties he doesn't get much time to really play. However he does get all the characters he wants with just a swipe of his card, however he's stuck at level 45 as a) no time to really continue and b) he honestly seems like the type to not bother with the ascension mission and in fact wants it to build up till he knows he's AR 60. THEN he'll actually do it.

Overall, he doesn't mind that you play it and enjoys it himself when he can. However don't expect him to be so willing to give you his card so you can get the Genesis Crystals to get the characters you want.

(Also I see his team consisting of off-field dps like Xiangling and Furina so he can just sit back and relax as they do the fighting and he doesn't need to lift a finger much)

I feel like Yanqing was already a player. Like he joined when it was first released but he didn't really play much. He'd log in once or twice a week then not log in for months. It's not that he isn't interested, he is. It's just he has things he enjoys more.

When he finds out you play it then he might be more inclined to try harder at it, so the two of you can do some sibling bonding time and play. Depending on AR levels between the two of you, he's either asking you to help defeat bosses when he still cannot after the nth time or you both can cry as you die to the electro hypostasis.

I feel like his luck is like, amazing as well. Like he got Keqing on the beginner banner and managed to get a good 5* weapon for her on the standard. And he's always won his 50/50s

However his luck cannot be transferred to how his artifact luck is. It takes his weeks upon weeks to get ONE decent artifact for his new 5* Ayaka.

He still doesn't play much but his game time has increased a lot more and he can understand why you like it so much...however he cannot understand why you seem to like certain characters and beg him to get you merch of them for your birthday.

He definitely struggled in DragonSpine and thought pyro and cryo characters were immune to sheer cold.

Overall, he understands a lot where you're coming from when it comes to gameplay and lore but when it comes to you simping over certain characters then he can't help but feel confused, and if he particularly dislikes a character you simp for. Perhaps disgusted (jokingly and lovingly of course)

(I'm unsure what his team would be, but he'd be a mono sword team imo)

Honestly, with my personal experiences with Genshin. I thankfully did not struggle with DragonSpine (not as much as other people did)

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.

However, I will say that I probably should've started building sooner. I only started once I hit about AR 56 and finished most of the Inazuma quest (don't ask me how I survived, idk either lmao)

[ellielatinagf]

Ellie Williams hc <3

I’m a new author. Might not update much but I will when I can! Sfw. Not proofread.Free Palestine 🇵🇸

Ellie would definitely be an iPad kid. She would also get mad when you interrupt her while she’s eating ramen and on part 36 of the Lorax movie on tik tok

She prefers silver jewlary over gold. She might have her ears pierced and put small earrings in them. Definitely has some simple black metal rings

The girl can skate. Not saying she’s the best but she can do some simple cruising. But she tried to do tricks to impress you and ends up with bruises and cuts

Cannot talk to women for the life of her. When you met Ellie you complimented her outfit. She got nervous and wanted to compliment you back but damn you were hot. She ended saying “oh thanks nice elbows!” The poor girl never lived that down

Is a Fortnite god. But one time she was so hyped for the game that when she died at 2nd place she flopped on the couch so hard she broke a couch leg. Jesse was laughing so hard you could hear him through the headset

When she was little she used to put on a hoodie and her hair on her forehead and used to pretend she was a boy. She would take pictures of herself on her little iPhone6. You somehow got the pictures and laugh at them every now and then

Ellie actually keeps her nails neat and clean. She’ll clean then and file them so they’re not too long. She’ll even put on a coat of clear nail hardener. And for some reason it’s actually really hot

Has drafts on tik tok of her trying to do the “one line” challenges and a bunch of other tik tok Games. However she also has some drafts of guitar playing and a couple thirst traps here and there

She’s your personal chauffeur and will call you her passenger princess. She will blast your shared playlist and have one hand on the wheel and the other in your hand. She likes to mess with people so at a red light she will look at the car next to her and go 🤨✌️

Your saved as “babe💋” on her phone and your contact photo is a cute picture of you in front of a statue or piece of art from a museum. Meanwhile her contact name is “smelly ellie” with a silly picture of her tripping or making a funny face

*Smelly Ellie calling*

You: Hey Smellie

Ellie: STAWP🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

As of her occupation, she might actually be a co owner of a guitar shop that Joel bought. Either that or she might work as a mechanic in Tommy’s shop

She follows NASA on Instagram and liked every picture they post of a new image of a star or planet. She’d also send it to you and spit fun facts about it

Her favorite character on SpongeBob is Patrick. She thinks he’s so underrated and a comedic masterpiece. She watches every episode of the new spinoff “The Patrick Show”

The girl has the weirdest conspiracy theories that sound so weird but she makes them make sense. Like you’ll both be out at a restaurant eating and she’ll start telling you how she thinks the world will end

I don’t know about this one but I think she’d also be interested in the ocean. Marine life is just as cool to her and loves aquarium dates (when she’s not hunting down Abby)

When someone says something dumb on Instagram or Tik tok comments she’ll report them and then forget about it. Then when they reply two weeks later saying the user didn’t violate guidelines she’ll get mad again

I feel like no one talks about high school Ellie enough!! The girl played sports like maybe lacrosse and basketball. Joel was in the stands with her uncle Tommy cheering her on and you were with Dina holding a poster and had made a jersey with her name and number on the back. She was a little embarrassed but loved it

She and Jesse tried to convince Dina to let JJ enter a toddler race for a cash prize of 100 dollars

Sorry if this is so bad omg I’m just starting out but thanks for reading!!! This was fun I’ll definitely do more! Don’t be shy drop some recs!

Free Palestine🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

18 + 79 for Astarion x Evie?

- @kittttycakes

Circus AU + Above the Influence

Send me 2 prompts + a pairing

Warning: Non-consensual consumption of an aphrodisiac

A/N: Keeping this in Faerun or otherwise partially magical universe for plot reasons. Not so heavy on the circus aspect, but big ideas for the "Above the Influence" part. Also shoutout to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble a bit to them about some of the stuff towards the end

Astarion x Evie (Ace!Tav) Masterlist

Obvious start, put these two crazy kids in a circus

Evie has been performing with them for a while, not the center act by any means, but more the in between musician to hype up the crowd for the next act while also doing any other odd jobs that need doing

Astarion is a comparative new comer who is really just here because he needs to lay low for a while after escaping Cazador

Astarion is tricky because I cannot see him performing at all, he's terrible with guests and will not perform manual labor

However he is a good thief and very pretty, so in a less than reputable circus he could find a place pick pocketing from the crowd or seducing his way in with the ring master so he can have a place to sleep

The question of what does Astarion *do* pops up more than once, but whenever anybody needs something, they go to Astarion and somehow he seems to get it

Obviously the circus is small so Astarion and Evie do know each other, but it takes them a while to *know* each other

Evie thinks she has Astarion figured out; well off run away who is just a passing face, slumming it for a few months before going back to whatever manor he came from

Astarion meanwhile initially thinks of Evie as just some bard who is endlessly fun to tease

They don't have a lot of crossover in their jobs, but they've gotten into the habit of shooting comments and banter back and forth in an oddly comfortable rhythm

Astarion starts realizing he looks forward to those moments more and more because at the end of the day, Evie doesn't expect anything out of him

He's not waiting for the other shoe to drop, he can just...be; it's a sensation he's not familiar with

Evie meanwhile starts keeping an eye out for him, for all his flirtatious comments there doesn't seem to be any serious intent behind it, it's just fun, they're having fun and...it's nice

Of course it's all fun and games until somebody decides to escalate

Evie habit of dodging serious flirtation with joking brush offs has quickly labeled her a tease by just about everyone and so somebody decides to play what can only strenuously be called a prank

At the group dinner they slip some incubus spittle into her food; not a lot, but enough enough to stoke the fires

Evie does still have a libido, but it is lower than others and when she gets an urge it’s not out of specific desire for a person

So when this hot feeling starts to rise in her body, she honestly things she's getting sick and starts to make her excuses

But her tormentor basically all but forces her to stay put, with the heat rising in her body

Astarion starts to put two and two together and all but hauls her away as the rest of the group wolf whistles

Evie can hardly bring herself to react as the pain and the heat rise as her fear along with it; this is *not* like her.

Astarion then makes the mistake of touching her bare skin and it crumbles

She then looks up at him, glazed over as if possessed as she launches herself into a kiss

Astarion immediately stiffens; he's let the thought of kissing Evie pass through his mind more than once, of feeling her close, but not whatever this is

This is absolutely *not* his Evie

He pulls back, but her hands slip under his shirt, clawing at his skin as she apologizes again and again, she doesn’t know what’s happening

Astarion has been in enough whore houses to know the effects of incubus spit when he sees it. He then kisses her, hauling her into his arms and tells her it’s alright, he’s going to help her through this.

Evie feels a different kind of sickness in her stomach, she knows what the solution is

As he carries her she tells herself that it will be alright; she trusts Astarion, he knows what he's doing, it's the fastest way for it all to go away, better him than somebody else

But rather than lead her to a bed, he drops her in a wash basin and pours cold water over her, fully clothed before slipping in behind her

As much as the spit is messing with her head, a relief fills her. She doesn’t have to. He’s not going to force her in order to “fix” her. There are other ways and he’s willing to be there as they figure out what that is.

Astarion stays with her, the spit isn't as powerful as others so time really is the measure here soothed by what touches he can give her decidedly over the clothes.

Whatever is inside her in a parasite that needs to be sweated out.

Eventually the fever does break, and Evie is able to slowly catch her breath. Her body still sensitive, but not nearly as bad as before.

Once Astarion is sure her heart rate is bad to normal, he asks her if she wants him to go. He can easily understand not wanting to be touched or seen after going through something like that against your will.

Evie shakes her head, feeling everything that might have happened pour over her all at once and she just starts crying.

Astarion holds onto her, really the only action keeping his anger in check.

He can't just leave her like this

So once she can stand, he makes sure to change her into clean dry clothes and wrap her up in a cocoon of blankets and pillows staying as watch dog until she’s asleep. It’s only then does he leave her.

Somebody apparently thought it would be a funny ,to drug his Evie. He’s going to find out exactly who it was and shake hands with their intestines.

[skaruresonic]

I actually found a fancomic based on ABT where apparently she had nightmares about her village being destroyed and she blamed Sonic (not Eggman) for that.

Sure, it's fanart, not ABT's vision... but what's with IDW and its fans and wanting to shoulder all the responsibilities on Sonic when he really always does his best? Now who's the one saying that Sonic should go Punisher on Eggman?

And why does it seem like they want Lanolin to snap and become a villain? ... also that's just Surge. She wouldn't even be special lol

Yeah I saw that one too lol.

Like not to play trauma Olympics, but uhhh. Lanolin. Did you not see how Sonic almost ran himself to death during the metal virus?

It's not like Sonic is oblivious to the shit Eggman puts people through; he also suffers alongside the rest of you. Like I said, sometimes he's the first and most direct recipient of the consequences of Eggman's schemes. Yet he continues on being the bulwark standing between Eggman and the world.

---

Sure, it's fanart, not ABT's vision... but what's with IDW and its fans and wanting to shoulder all the responsibilities on Sonic when he really always does his best?

Honestly, I'm finding it hard not to interpret this all as the result of cynicism with the games. IDW never established Sonic vs. Eggman as a thing, let alone something done enough times to warrant such a reaction. The book assumes you know Sonic vs. Eggman is old hat and agree with the notion that something needs to shake up the series' most core dynamic. "Sonic is too much of a happy Gary-Stu, he needs to reckon with the consequences of someone else's actions" certainly is A Take(tm) in that vein.

I've read fanfics like this before, where traumatized civilians emotionally unload on Sonic.

...Dude, yeah, I get it, Sonic's the nearest lightning rod to absorb all your frustrations because you can't exactly take a swing at Eggman. But it's not like Sonic is the cause of your pain, and it's unfair to expect him to shoulder that burden. Even he cannot be everywhere at once.

Also, requiring him to take Eggman's life lest the trolley veer onto the other track and murder everyone else feels... unfair? Meanspirited, even?

"You could end everyone's suffering right now if you cared" is such manipulative phrasing, especially considering how difficult it is to off Eggman with any permanence, and how often Sonic does save the world. He frequently puts himself out on the front line for no material gain.

Dude gets dealt a really shitty hand sometimes. Nobody else got struck with the arrow of judgment and had his life burned down to a wick. Nobody else got trapped inside a capsule about to explode into what Eggman calls "floating chunks in space." Nobody else had to suffer the Werehog's curse, which is implied to be a painful transformation that occurs every night regardless of whether Sonic is prepared for it or not - and even worse still, in Eggmanland, he had to force that change via the sundial switch in order to progress.

You're over here going "hmmm Sonic, real sus how you never acknowledged the deaths of the thousands who perished when the planet broke apart," meanwhile the poor bastard is lying unconscious from exhaustion, having traversed Eggmanland, grappled with Eggman in a no-holds-barred match during a plummet towards the Earth's core, and fought a god for like a week straight on no sleep.

...We don't deserve Sonic.

Besides, for as much as everyone hypes up non-Eggman villains, do you think things will be sunshine and rainbows even if Eggman remains dead? That other beings won't cast their evil eye upon the world in the power vacuum that will inevitably appear? Will Sonic be responsible for the Black Arms too? Metal Sonic? Idk, The End?

It gets even worse because the book's writing forced moral responsibility onto Sonic to by begging the question of "Why doesn't he just kill Eggman?" in the first place. As if A.) he doesn't already fucking try on a regular basis and B.) as if it's that easy. Except now people are like, assigning moral negligence to Sonic's happy-go-lucky demeanor. God forbid the guy wants to chill once in a while, lmao.

And if you believe that Eggman doesn't actually have a body count, then this entire argument becomes moot anyway. Therefore Lanolin is potentially planning on assassinating Sonic based on the fact that he's not footing the group chat's therapy bill.

This is not that difficult. Sonic doesn't care whether Eggman lives or dies. Sonic neglects Eggman's pleas for help. Sonic acts homicidally negligent towards Eggman.

The lid, Patrick! Put your hand on the lid!

---

Now who's the one saying that Sonic should go Punisher on Eggman?

I know, right? Wasn't offing Eggman supposed to be this awful no-no thing he should never do because Principles? Now he's an asshole for not pulling a Spock-esque "greater good" moral calculation?

I'm starting to lose the plot, in more ways than one. xP