#i cant fcking blame him

[tiodolma]

Arthur: "What do you think Merlin, should magic have a place in Camelot?

Merlin, who has listened to Arthur make a valid case on how his life and kingdom are always threatened by magic; Merlin, who still keeps seeing sorcerers arrested and burned just for existing inside Camelot; Merlin, who's close friends who are all politically powerful regularly call sorcerers as "fanatics", "heretics", "deranged", "desperate" and "dangerous"; Merlin, who'd been told over and over again that his worries are "merely superstition" and "nonsense"; Merlin, who'd been mocked for having "funny feelings"; Merlin, who has seen Arthur steadfastly uphold his father's policies that All Magic is Evil; Merlin, who have been told repeatedly by major magic institutions that Mordred would murder the King; Merlin who has had first hand experience of prophetic visions always coming true; Merlin, who has chosen Arthur's safety over everything else, even over Merlin's freedom: "There can be no magic in Camelot."

[lildrabbles]

Chapter 7: Family Meeting

2007! Raphael x Female! Reader

Summary: Despite Raph's protests, hes made to bring you back to the lair to meet his family.

A/N: HELLO EVERYONE IM SO SORRY I HAVNT BEEN UPDATING, since school started i just kinda lost motivation to write BUT IVE CAME BACK. I cant say for sure how long youll have to wait in the future, cuz i have a problem with writers block. Also, this is a lot longer than most of my chapters, so enjoy!! But let me know if you like the longer chapters or shorter ones <3

Raph didn't want his brothers to meet her. They would embarrass the hell outta him! 'What do I care...' he told himself, but deep down inside he couldn't stop the dread. He stared at the stove while he ate his Corn Pops aggressively.

"Dude, what did those Corn Pops do to you?" Mikey said, laughing as he poked raphs side.

Raph quickly grabbed his finger and twisted it, causing Mikey to yelp and beg for mercy. Raph scoffed and let go, going back to eating his Corn Pops. When he was finished he stood up, making his way over to the sink to wash his bowl and spoon.

"So are you going to call her?" Donnie asked as he grabbed a poptart from the cabinet.

"I'm gonna text her to meet me." Raph said, not looking at him as he dried the bowl.

Donnie chuckled. "If only Leo were here to meet your girlfriend."

Raph was about to threaten him, but the mention of his eldest brother stopped him. He glared down at the spoon he held, not saying anything.

"Uh... sorry about bringing that up." Donnie cringed in on himself.

Raph scoffed. "Dont be. It's not like he's comin back anytime soon." He said dryly.

Donnie sighed. After a couple moments, Mikey piped up. "Dude, suddenly it got like, really tense in here."

Raph rolled his eyes as he turned around and leaned against the counter. "Blame Donnie."

"I apologised!" Don protested.

Raph sighed before placing the bowl back up in the cabinet. “I’m goin to the dojo to work out.” Before turning around and walking away, not waiting for any reply.

He was finishing beating the crap out of his punching bag before he felt light headed. He exhaled and collapsed onto the bench, grimacing at the sharp pain in his wound. When Donnie mentioned Leo it got his blood to boil. God, even thinking about him made him pissed. Who was Leo to think he could just leave his family, his own flesh and blood, just because he “didn’t feel good enough”? 

Didn’t he fcking know that he was the best fighter out of them all?! He was truly selfish. And before he left, Raph may have started an argument, which yes he shouldn't have done, but then Leo started going on about how Raph was selfish and that only his own opinion mattered! Can you believe the audacity of that turtle?!

He grunted as he took a swig from his water bottle, grabbing the cloth beside him to wipe all of the sweat off his forehead. Raph glanced down at his phone, looking at the time. It was currently 4 pm. He wanted to wait a bit longer until it got dark to meet up with her, but decided to text her sooner so she had some notice. 

He texted her to meet him in an alleyway where he knew wasn't far from her apartment and had a sewer entrance so they could easily get in and out without getting noticed. He also made sure to mention to come alone.

When she didn't respond right away, Raph decided to do some sit ups. After a couple of those, he heard his phone vibrate on the bench. He sat up and grabbed it, and read Y/N's message.

Y/N: ok what time? My shifts already over so I'm not worried

He chuckled at how she didn't even question it. Silly girl.

Raph: How about in half an hour?

Y/N: Sounds good to me! See you then

Raph sighs, then stands up, stretching and drinking the last of his water. Time to go make sure she gets there safely.

----------------------------------------------------------

You didn't have to wait that long in the alleyway for him. You stood and looked around, double checking this was the right alleyway. Yep, it was.

Since it was a bit chilly, every time you let out a breath a little cloud formed.

Before you could even call out, you heard a soft thump behind you. You jumped slightly, spinning around. A small smile erupted on your face as you saw Raph emerge from the shadows.

"Hey, Raph." You look back towards the sidewalk to make sure no one would see you both.

"Hey." He smiled. "Okay, so uh… you probably wanna know why I brought you here right?"

"Right." You agreed.

"My family wants to meet you. Sensei mostly wants to meet you because he wants to know if he can trust you with our secret."

"O-oh!" Your eyes widen slightly. "So I get to meet your family?"

"Yeah. But…"

You frowned slightly. "What is it?"

You then gasped when Raph leaned towards you and in a flash, your vision was dark. You felt him tying a piece of fabric around your eyes. 

"Raph, don't you think you're taking this too fast? I'm not into this kinda thing." Despite the shock of him doing this, you couldn't help making a cheeky joke while you giggled.

Even though you couldn't see him, his eyes widened as a blush erupted from his face. He frowned. "I-its not fcking like that!!" You could hear in his that he was flustered, causing you to giggle more.

You felt strong arms pick you up, but you weren't that alarmed because you recognised they were Raph's. You heard him grumbling to himself.

 You clinged onto his neck despite his firm grip on you.

"I'm only doin this cuz we can't risk you knowin our location yet." Raph blushed and grimaced slightly as your arms wrapped around his neck.

"Oh… well I guess I can understand that."

You suddenly felt the wind rush around you both and you let out a little squeal, feeling a little nauseous. You heard Raph's feet thump on the ground softly, meaning he had jumped down somewhere.

The more he walked, a disgusting smell assaulted your nose. You scrunched up your nose. "Are we in the sewers?"

"Yeah." Raph laughed watching your reaction.

You nod slightly, nose still scrunched up. After a couple more moments of walking, you felt him stop and he placed you on your feet.

You heard some shuffling and then a crash, followed by an "oof!". 

"Am I allowed to take this off now..?" You asked, directed towards Raphael.

 He grunted in response which you took as a yes, so you slipped it off, only to be met with another turtle with an orange bandana in your face. You jumped a little, bumping backwards nto Raph.

"Mikey, what did I tell ya before I left?!" He scolded the orange banded turtle.

The turtle named Mikey threw his hands up. "Sorry bro! I just wanted to get a good look." He offered his hand to you. "I'm Mikey!"

You smiled sheepishly, shaking his hand. "I'm y/n."

Another turtle with a purple bandana appeared. He did the same thing as Mikey and offered his hand to you. "It's nice to meet you y/n, i'm Donatello but just call me Donnie or Don." He smiled.

You smiled back and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you as well."

You awkwardly stood there while you heard Raph huff behind you, crossing his arms beside you. Then, you saw a rat, just a bit shorter than the turtles. You assumed this is the Sensei Raph had talked about.

You bowed your head slightly to him. "And you must be Sensei Splinter." You smiled a little up at him. He smiled back and stood in front of you, taking your hand in his and held it for a moment.

"And you must be y/n. Thank you for helping my idiot son." He shot a quick glare towards Raph.

"Of course. I wouldn't call him an idiot though, after all he was just trying to protect--"

Raph suddenly cleared his voice loudly. "Okay, you met her, now what?"

"Dude we should all watch a movie together!!" Mikey exclaimed.

Before Raph could protest, everyone else agreed. But you were hesitant. "I would love to but I don't want to become a problem for you guys."

Raph stared down at you. "The hell do you-" he couldn't finish before getting smacked in the head by Splinter. He winced before re-phrasing. "What do you think you'll be a problem for?" He said gruffly.

You shrugged a little. "I-i don't know, I just don't want to invade your guys' personal life."

Donnie spoke up. "Don't worry about that, we would love to have you. We haven't had company like this in… well, we've never met new people really. Except for April and Casey, but we've known them forever"

You nodded, remembering Raph telling you about them. Then you smiled. "Ok, then. I'll stay."

Mikey cheered and ran towards the kitchen to gather snacks. 

After a bit of setting up the movie (that apparently Donnie pirated) and setting up all the snacks, you settled down onto the couch beside Raph. You smiled up at him softly, making his heart clench. But he didn't show it, just smirking a little and huffing, taking a handful of popcorn from the bowl in your lap.

You chuckled, offering everyone popcorn before the movie began. Then Donnie turned on the movie, and you let out a deep exhale, sinking into the old, tattered couch.

After about halfway through the movie, while everyone else was asleep, Splinter left to go meditate in his room. So it was only you and Raph awake now.

"Your family seems really nice," you whispered to him.

He scoffed quietly. "Yeah but my brother's can get hella annoying."

You giggle a little and lean in closer. "I'm sure you'll seem annoying after a while of knowing you too."

Raph playfully glared down at you. "Oh yeah? Ditto. Except you're already gettin on my nerves." He joked.

You held your chest where your heart is dramatically. "Ouch. My heart."

You both laugh quietly. You looked down, then shuffled closer to him so your thighs were touching, and wrapped your arms around yourself, getting a little chilly.

He tensed a little, trying to even his breathing. He noticed your eyes starting to droop. "You know you can fall asleep, right?" He said softly. What has gotten into him lately?

"Are you sure?" You looked up towards him. He nodded, then grabbed a blanket from behind the couch, throwing it on you. You giggled a little and got snuggled up in the blanket. You then gently rested your head on his shoulder before whispering, "Is this okay..?"

"Y-yeah…" He whispered back. You smiled and got comfy against him, before closing your eyes to go to sleep.

After a couple moments, he relaxed. He let out a soft exhale. The way you cuddled into his side made his heart skip a beat. Shut the hell up, Raph. She's just cold. And you can't be goin soft for anyone!! He scolded himself. But despite his protests in his head, he let himself fall asleep, managing to fall into a slumber way easier than he's ever had.

[little-nugget-writes-stufff]

Elijah mikealson headcanons <3

Little thing i know little to nothing about this guy so please if something is not correct in terribly sorry (also if this is the first thing you see on my blog Elijah simps, i usually dont write for him srry. Anyways enjoy)

First of all i think this guy would be a fcking gentlemen. Like paying for your food, giving small gifts and such

Prob not big on pda but behind closed doors you will receive all the love and attention you deserve <3

Guys got confidence and will tease you. (No you can not change my mind)

Will try his hardest to protect you from any danger that comes along in life

Your hurt? It straight up kills him inside to see you like that and will try his best to comfort you

Plays with your hair when ur asleep (cute asf)

Can get prettyyyy jealous. (Doesnt show it that much tho)

If you guys would have kids i feel like he would be such a good father.

Would be so afraid to lose you.

Easily can tell when ur lying

Would take you to fancy places.

Would show you off to his fam (cant blame him for it, your gorgeous)

Likes independent people.

Protective but will let you have your freedom

Would be an amazing listener.

Would speak up if someone is bothering you

Would die for you and his kids

Would 100% sneak up on you

Overal 8/10 :)

Im so sorry if not everything is correct-

[akgaereporter]

nct: taeyong and haechan's silly ass "scandals" recently

tldr: a week or so ago taeyong posted a tiktok with chaewon's "dododok" mistake and got so much hate from knetz he deleted it + a few members were dancing during yuta's ment at nct nation and people were calling them disrespectful for that but only focused on haechan.

so im coming to tumblr to rant because twitter stans are getting on my fawking nerves and i know everything i say on that hellish app is pointless because dumb btches will always be dumb btches.

honestly being an nctzen on twitter has never been enjoyable for an extended period of time because this godforsaken fandom is literally a homeless shelter for so many deranged chronically online kpop heads to beg for their pennies of attention. if we're being fr a lot of it has to do with the fcked up management of the group itself.. sm entertainment when i catch you in the streets ..

but recently the way two members in particular have been treated.. i cant even blame the fckass company for this level of degeneracy. yall just bitter and have an average screentime of 10 hours because how can you get so bored of supporting your fav you just start hating on them??? for no reason at all???

a couple days ago ty posted a tiktok with a silly remix audio of chaewons "dododok" mistake she made at a le sserafim's show on tour. that mistake literally went viral and basically all of the kpop industry laughed and copied it and called it cute, because that's what it is, just a cute little mistake we can giggle at and move tf on. the audio ty used was funny and created a trend that is currently going viral in korea.

instead of laughing, calling it a cute interaction, and going about their lives, knetz decided to wake up and be horrible people. what else is new bruh. of course big bad ty had an evil plan to mock the poor defenseless kim chaewon for her terrible mistake that deeply affected her..

please i almost kilt myself when i saw he deleted the tiktok. this is how jesus fans felt when he died like ty is quite literally an angel, his eyes sparkle and he giggles instead of laughing, how can you take him in as a person and still decide to actually bully him for next to nothing. like.. maybe you need to die idk.

and what gets me is the way they were acting like she said her dad died and he used an audio of that. its not that fcking serious dawg. she laughed at the damn joke herself and if they dont stop and pray that he privated the vid instead of deleting i will actually place a generational curse upon the families of pannchoa girls who cant keep his name out their mouth and I STAND BY THAT

and my bias, my boyfriend actually, my snookie ookie pookie bear haechan, god give me strength before i type this bullsht : during the last nct nation concert yuta started giving his ment in japanese, and some members at the other end of the line began dancing and messing around. they immediately stopped when ty motions them to. again, it isnt that fcking serious, but jobless neo investigators created discourse out of it. they didn't interrupt yuta or cause a fuss, they were literally just fidgeting around to pass the time because 20 speeches is a whole lot to listen to in silence.

but of course, its way more serious for nctzens, and furthermore haechan is the main evil villain of princess yutas fairy story. literally half the line started doing the dance but the only tweets getting likes included haechan's name. what the fck is wrong w these hoes seriously when i saw those tweets i thought they punched yuta in the face or sum. when i watched it i had a damn jaw drop at the audacity of these folk. they just keep getting worse at masking the animosity they have for their own favs, haechan in particular. yall claim to be his fans but jump on a hate train that isn't even 2 seconds old like.. are you even trying to like him? the video clearly shows the other members moving too, but somehow their eyes can only see haechans pretty little face and they just cant stand seeing him babygirling the way he did on the 17th of september 2023. it was never that fcking serious bitch, keep your nasty sticky keyboard fingers away from husband 1 and wife 2, i actually cannot stand seeing yall harass them for the stupidest pettiest shit this far and this many hits into their career. you literally know none of them have any ill intent behind the actions they do publicly, unless they say or do something outright offensive or malicious. so until they tell chaewon she's a stuttering ass bitch or roundhouse kick yuta off the stage, shut it up and stop using them for hit tweets damn

all of this just ties back to the fact nctzens are constantly watching THEIR OWN FAVS waiting for them to slip up. knetz chose ty and intlzens chose haechan. yall need to choose yourselves and get the fcking help you need because its not normal to hate on people you have a fan account for. be careful who you call oomf cause these fawking hybrid bitches got split personality disorders, all it takes is alt account and a dream. this is what happens when you choose silly idol boys instead of therapy and i mean that in the most helpful way

going to sleep mad asf smh

-also i was looking for taehyuck pics to put as a header for this post and i realized there's literally almost none?? hello?? haechan taeyong do yall even know each other?? not even a photoshoot or anything just some 10p quality debut pictures like damn haeyong nation yall are dead as hell 😢

[blehblehbso]

i am going to fucking cry. i want to actually. but i cant even do that. i tired, but it didnt happen. im playing sad songs right now but i also wanna end the whole world. i just need a few days to digest everything but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. life or i should say this fucking college doesn't let us have that. i mean okay entire days are not depressing or anxiety creating but thats because i am consciously ignoring the duties and tasks that are constantly looming above my head. i have no fucking clue how the hell people joing frickin extra curriculars in class because I AM BURIED under work. just when you think ah now im free, BAM there's something else.

dammit im trying so hard, i still can't cry what the actual f. my hands and feet and feet are cold, ive been asking for the effing heater, and im just put aside every time. yes they're busy too. and thats how i take the blame on myself for not being tough. oh dammit it is cold and i need a fcking heater, what about it?!!!!!!

i want to cry in someones armss and take a gun or a knife nd stab a target a hundred times too. im angry at myself for using the phone in bed, messing up my sleep, not exercising, wasting time. this is a bad habit. i shouldnt blame myself. and now i wanna blame my company for giving me this trait. i want to frickin beat up everybody who says they haven't studied and then comes and starts chanting the entire fuking chapter.

i- i hate him so so much but i do not know why i want him to hold me at moments like now. just pat my head and tell my its gonna be fine. and now i feel weak for needing someone to calm myself.

okay atleast im finally crying. yay.

[bellthechick]

Truly and whole heartedly fck you all who blame Max Verstappen for someone elses fck up you fcking donkeys trying to justify your fcked up minds booing him and acting like oh i have a reason because he supports a racist person oh he is a bad guy oh he is racist F Ö C K Y O U if your idiot heads cant understand what he was saying than again truly fck you

you are just ugly hearted people who only see the wrong when it concerns your driver you put the world through hell and when its not you, you join and cause a true riot you twist the truths and oh wait, dont even act like your angel driver?

i have never supported and will never support people getting booed no matter what the recieving end says and if you are doing it than you dont love the sport truly you just love to hate on people…

[aenniesryu]

tsukikage middle school exes

tsukishima kei and kageyama tobio. both in their first year of high school and are also teammates since they played in the same vb team for their school

ofc everyone is well aware of the fact that these two kind of hated each other. not that it was an obvious fact to begin with since ever from the beginning the two would constantly bicker and throwing insults at one another

however, that was it. that was the only thing everyone knows about the two. the team even had to separate the two of them when things escalated quickly just to make sure none of them will started to throw fits

no one knows the actual reason as to why they would bicker every so often. the team just thought that the two have so different perceptions towards volleyball that makes them so hard to get along with

the team did tried to help them to get along but it just ended up with them constantly at each others throat arguing about whatever it is

what the team actually didnt know is that tsukishima and kageyama once dated back then in their middle school days.

so basically the entire thing going on between those two were just them being salty because of 1) the break up and also 2) their mindset when it comes to volleyball

tsukishima and kageyama once dated before despite them not attending the same school

but, both were living in the same neighbourhood and their houses were basically next to each other making it easier for them to constantly see each other

however, that was a year ago before kageyama's family decided to move to another neighbourhood

no, the break up was not because of them moving because they would still see each other if they put more efforts in it

the break up on the other hand was because of this one major thing. it was a silly reason but nevertheless it was the thing that made them broke up and that thing is volleyball

yes, volleyball. even tho both were playing for their respective teams back in middle school, their perspective when it comes to volleyball differs too much.

kageyama being the volleyball freak he is would just spent most of his times practicing his serve. even on the weekends. tsukishima, however didnt really took it seriously when it comes to volleyball ever since it was just a club anyway, right?

with kageyama spending more and more time with his practice, tsukishima was left alone. they barely even get to meet each other because of them being in different schools and then kageyama's free time was now full with volleyball alone

tsukishima might felt a lil bit jealous since kageyama, his boyfriend at that time would constantly talked about oikawa. it's always oikawa this and oikawa that. he knows kageyama only meant no harm and hes just looking up onto his senior who plays really well.

tsukishima was fine with that. yeah, he really does because never once did he ever tell kageyama to shut up whenever he talks about oikawa.

what was not fine was that kageyama spent the only free time they had on volleyball. it was the only time that they would be able to hang out and go outside but suddenly it stopped. no more seeing each other, no more dates and no more talking to each other

yes, kageyama did tell him over and over again that he feels sorry and that he just needs to prepare himself to be the best for their team

tsukishima did understand him but as time passed by, tsukishima became selfish. well that's what he thought. hes tired of waiting. he shouldn't be blamed when all he wanted was for his boyfriend attention

then 2 months before the very important match for kageyama, tsukishima went and break things off. and just like that they are no longer boyfriends or friends

kageyama moving to another neighbourhood just make things a lil bit easier since they wont be seeing each other anymore after the break up

"What the fck was that kageyama?" Tsukishima is now in rage with his once called boyfriend. They were in the middle of a practice match where they were divided into two different teams and just to make them work along together and maybe become friends, coach ukai and daichi thought it would be the best to put them into the same group. Oh how wrong they were because now they are fight again.

"I just did what's the best for the team. All you need to do is jump a lil bit higher than usual for that toss. you are already tall enough, make sure of it for once" kageyama was surprisingly calm when he said that but only god knows how scared he felt whenever tsukishima raised his voice at him because he got irritated. it wasnt a pleasant sight to see and get into especially when tsukishima is dmn mad. like the situation they are in now.

"yes my height alone is enough and that is why, you as the setter should take in mind that I would perfectly score if you just tossed me the ball right at where my hand can reach. making me go through all the hard work just to reach that fcking ball you threw is just wasting my energy" tsukishima is really not having it. not only did kageyama sent him a high ball, hes also pissed that kageyama made him wasted his energy in jumping higher than he normally do.

"excuse me? I'm just doing what's the best for the team. I'm taking out that fcking capability that you have in you that you decides to freaking hide and toss it away, just because you think putting an effort even the slightest of it into the match is a waste of your time" now kageyama started to boiled up. he knows that tsukishima has a lot of talent when it comes to volleyball, he knows that really well. perks of being his boyfriend throughout their middle school years. well honestly kageyama thinks tsukishima is just wasting his talent with his kind of mindset.

everyone at the gym are just staring and listening to them arguing. daichi was closed to tear them apart and continue with the practice match, but before he can do that sugawara stop him. daichi was not having it but sugawara had something else in mind. he thinks that maybe them arguing this time would make the rest of the team to get a grip on what making them argue in the first place. and maybe the truth would unfold without them needing to ask tsukishima and kageyama. coach ukai seems to have the same thoughts too since he make no moves in stopping them. so the team just understands and silently look at them and wait for more.

"I dont get your obsession with drawing the team's talent or whatsoever because you ended up getting more demanding. I thought you were a setter. didnt setter usually can already feel his teammates thoughts? im here just doing what I have to do during practice and waiting for it to end like it always did but you? you just have to screw up everything. im already tired but you clearly didnt see that! just what kind of a setter who acted like a dictator and yet hes not even the leader of the team? tell me!" tsukishima yelled his frustration out. he wants this to end just so he can go back to his house and do whatever he finds interesting. and basically volleyball is not one of them.

kageyama didnt said anything after that. he felt bad and all the memories from when his old team abandoned him during a play starter clouding his mind. to make it worse he's on the verge of breaking down. his eyes are filled with tears but he held them back. hearing those things from someone you love didnt really felt the greatest.

"what? now you decided to stayed silent? why? just realizing how my words are true and theres no point in denying it? did you ever just sit back and think about how your shitty your attitude is in court? about how tired your teammates felt trying to satisfy you? this is literally the reason why your old teammate decided to abandoned you in the middle of the match. because you are so demanding and it stresses them out more than the actual game is" just when he finished saying what he needed to say, kageyama slap him. when tsukishima turn to see him, kageyama is already crying.

"YOU! out of all people in this world should know how important volleyball is to me. you should've known that theres literally nothing I can do aside from volleyball. you shouldn't have said that if you know what I went through the entire year. and then at the end? what did I get? I get abandoned. not only by my teammates but I was also abandoned by my own family. just to make things even worse, you fcking break up with me at the times when I needed you the most kei. the one person i thought that would always stay by my side. but you didn't even listen to the shit I have to tell you because you completely shut me off. I went through every single thing alone. All by myself. I practice alone, think of the best strategies for my own team on my own because I was pressured AND threatened by the coach, I came back to an empty house and freaking live alone. theres no one I can even call and relied to!! I cant even call the person I love because hes sick of me. all I ever wanted was people to appreciate my efforts even tho it's only in volleyball. I wanted YOU to be proud of me above anything else because I cant reach your level when it comes to academic. I wanted to be perfect for you and all I ever wanted was for people around me to be proud of me for the one thing I'm capable of but all I get is people abandoning me!!"

silence. theres no sound can be heard in the gym aside from kageyama's heavy breathing. everyone is just stunned with the sudden confession. not only did they just heard kageyama's biggest fear but they also heard the part where he mentioned about their break up. tsukishima and kageyama were a thing before? they were dating? since when?"

"tobio-" tsukishima breaks the silence. hes panicking but he didn't know what do to because everything is just too sudden and all he can think of is how shitty of a boyfriend he was during the time that they were dating. thats what his brain has been saying. after all never once did he ever asked how kageyama was feeling. he was indeed selfish and everything is all his fault. if only he stayed-

kageyama seems to snapped back into reality when he heard tsukishima called him by his given name. he panicked. he just spilled everything in front of the team.

"i-im sorry. I should just go home. I'm really sorry you guys have to witness such a pity side of myself" kageyama chuckled and wipe his tears. "coach, i would like to take a break from the team for the time being. again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'll see you guys later" and with that kageyama walked out of the gym ignoring his teammates eyes and the calls.

"what the hell just happened" tanaka said as the argument really is tensed and they literally just heard something that is kept secret between tsukishima and kageyama.

"tsuki, you and kageyama-" yamaguchi said softly as to not add any more anger in tsukishima. after all tsukishima kind of had an anger issue.

"ugh fuck, yes we did." tsukishima sigh. theres really nothing he can do. everyone knows and they probably think its his fault anyways. but the team has the opposite thoughts than him

"I honestly dont know what to say" sugawara said to him. he really wanted to help but it's not in his power to do so. all he can do is give them advice.

"ha, no need. I already know it's my fault. you guys can blame me. I would gladly accept it"

"What? No" were the replies he get from his team members. he was clueless coz after all kageyama wouldnt turn into a tyrant if only he stayed and didnt leave.

"we didnt blame you. both of you were young that time it was just normal for you to feel he loved you less. but you two lack in communication which leads to this whole entire mess. idk what you two went through and how long you've been together, it's not my business. but, all I can say is that you two need some closure. and clearly none of you even moved on from the past. arguing with each other every other day isnt the healthiest way to cope with the break up. just please sort this out with him. hes in pain and so are you." enoshita who has been quite the entire time decided to speak up. he do got a point especially with that lack communication between tsukishima and kageyama. sooner or later he needed to settle this whole mess before it started to drag the entire team. kageyama is the regular player in their team, and even with sugawara who can replace him as a setter, kageyama really is needed in the team. hinata also needed kageyama.

"I know I'm the last person you want to hear this from.. but tsukishima please bring kageyama back to the team. I needed him. the team too. and I think you needed him too. so please, I will do whatever it takes to help get him back into the team" hinata cried out. after all they were the freaky duo. they relied more on one another.

"but didnt kageyama only asked to take a break? it's not like he would just quit" nishinoya chipped in. "indeed he said that, but we are not sure on how long would the break be. it can be days, weeks, months and even years." coach ukai reasoned.

"let's just stop here. you guys can go home now. I will cancel tomorrow's practice so please just take a good rest. We'll continue our practice on the day after that. And you tsukishima" coach ukai added and turn to look at tsukishima with a soft look. It was a rare sight to see but they know it's for the best

"yes?"

"idk what you are planning to do. whether you sort things out and talk to kageyama or you didnt do anything about it is up to you. just clear out your minds whenever you came intl practice. we already less in one member, we didnt need to lose another one"

"thank you coach!"

listen, idek what I'm doing but I'm just gonna post this even tho I know it was bad because honestly when I reread this I felt truly nothing lmao but my friend said it was good/okay idk dont really trust her but hey, the very least I can do is post this here so I can move on(?) welp, enjoy ig.

[transrightsjimin]

IDOL: The Coup spoilers!

thoughts on episode 10

1. the episode confirmed who copied the song whom i already suspected 2 eps ago which was kinda... anticlimatic? like was it meant to be such a shock it was him??

2. jenna pulled out of a plan AGAIN just when things were solved?! like she covered his ass, literally had the best outcome for cotton candy, and then decided to not go through w it?? i know jenna's role in the story has for the past few episodes has increasingly just been to reinforce the premise of the story (no.1 and then disband) but it makes no sense when stuff is offered to them on a plate and she still refuses even though her plan is not the most beneficial to the members and especially nothing abt the plan is appealing to the company owners. like i GET that she gets the plot going but it feels too forced and i cant believe im saying this but i almost sympathize a bit w CEO Cha of all ppl bc hes so sick of her anthics 😭 most sympathizing w the director though like that guy has no clue whats going on nd gets the blame for what the other characters do kgdgmmscn

3. on a similar note it made no sense that CARA would be fine with a Cotton Candy member creating the result where MARS pulled out of a comeback to give Cotton Candy room for theirs and THEN the latter even dropping their plan?? sorry but that's unrealistic bc anti-fans r unhinged nd this is all the reason for them to stalk nd attack the girls again

4. on another note VKSACJAFSCIFJ LIA KIM WAS IN THE EPISODE!!!! I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HER IN THE NEXT ONE ND ACTUALLY STILL MAKE THE CHOREO EVEN IF IT'S FOR A DIFFERENT SONG LIKE PLS

5. THE 'MOM'S TOUCH' RESTAURANT PRODUCT PLACEMENT WAS SOOO FCKING FUNYLNY OYDGSTOSIGS like there was earlier product placement in the show but i can imagine the sponsor wasnt happy w the way it was featured, as all deliverers of the restaurant were on a strike and jenna crossed the picket line, having to do the amount of work for multiple workers at once. and then theres just a whole scene in ep 10 of the mars guys going WOW MOM'S TOUCH I LOVE THIS FOOD YUM 😭KSGHDODSTO

6. I CAN'T STOP SEEING BONG AS YOONGI AND IT MAKES ME ALMOST FEEL SAD FOR HIM!! EVEN THOUGH HES EVIL! he is being set up though nd moreover that makes me afraid hes going to try to revenge on jenna through the reporter

7. im glad we'll learn more abt Stella!! im scared for her safety but hope the other members will know what's going on and that they can talk it out nd hopefully keep her safe

8. he's obviously the man who caused her anxiety and im guessing her dad? but def an abusive / creepy man who endangers her aargh

9. minkyu truly still is the only bad actor in this show and it sucks bc hes the other male lead but it's also funny bc it leads to unintentional comic relief for me nd my friend kdvdgksajfzjg

[bidaryl]

okay so u know those AUs where its like……rick wakes up from his coma and its the start of the apocalypse all over again after living through a fair chunk of it!! and its like him correcting mistakes and getting his second chance and shit OR the version where they ALL suddenly just wake up one day back in the modern world zombie free and it was all a dream but they all collectively had it so they find each other and meet up????? thats neat and all and i will read those fics till the day i die but u know what i have not seen and i rly wanna like. cry over?

daryl.

daryl waking up at the start of the end of the world. okay i haven’t put much thought into pre-rick era so like maybe just before rick comes in? maybe when merle and the crew leave for the city???? and its like a post-negan daryl thats waking up here. mayhaps the night glenn d*es and daryl gets taken? OR EVEN better maybe when jesus rescues daryl and its when daryl finally falls asleep for the first time in months on an actual pillow surrounded by certain members of his found family and then he just????? wakes up!!

he wakes up and he’s at the fcking quarry. his bitchass loudmouth brothers nowhere in sight cos as daryl figures out later, merle left the previous day. its the big reset button that everyone kinda wishes they had because they’ve all lost so much over the past 2-3 years but like… never though it could happen.

or! and i haven’t actually seen past carl dying so i’m not positive about things but hmmm what about a version when when rick ~dies. the bridge explodes. rick, for all intents and purposes of the show, /is DeAd/. and daryls a fucking mess becos that was on him and maggie and idk who else was involved in that plot or even if thats actually what happened. but from what ive gathered rick and daryl were kinda on the outs with the negan shit and that bridge scene could’ve been avoided. if things had just gone a bit differently. if they could go back in time just for a second! just one more chance! one more shot at things going differently and daryl could totally fix everything. then the next day daryls waking up at the quarry.

ugh cos THINK about it!! quarry era daryl and saviour/negan+ era daryl are so different? like the heart of him is the same but they all barely know each other at the start and daryls so angry and skittish and runs on fight or flight mode but alexandria/saviour/negan era daryl has like……bleed for these people? provided food and water for these people? led these people to safety? put his life on the line on several occasions for these people? made some of these people smile and laugh by just existing? stepped in as leader when rick has his moments? or like co leader with michonne & co.?

like would he tell anyone?? would he speak up more and try lead them to the farm cos that was a good move they did before? does he keep up pretences and chuck a tantrum over the crew not returning with merle or does he like. go ‘okay.’ and everyones like what the actual fuck. does he go into the prison and head for the cafeteria straight away to get the remaining prisoners out and kill that one bitch that fucks shit up for them??

he absofuckinglutely saves sophia. jumps that fucking guardrail before rick can even get out from under the car properly. carol literally not letting sophia out of her sight for days after daryl and rick and sophia all return like 2 hrs later, wet and covered in dirt and some blood but safe.

then!! if he did tell someone, who would it be?????? rick?? carol?? like how would that even go down. would he tell them maybe later on? prison era maybe. when michonne finally comes and they’re all debating whether to let her in or let her fuck off and stuff and daryls like wow i cant take this anymore rick that is ur future WIFE man. patch up her fucking leg.

or maybe carol. when they’re on watch together and carol casually mentions that daryl was over and into the woods, right on sophias heels, before people even realised which direction she went. how rick mentioned once to her that daryl seemed to know exactly where to find her. even picked up her doll without even seeming to stop. just seemed to know exactly what was happening. daryl just shrugging.

also side note. we, and daryl, do NOT know a butterfly effect. absolutely no ‘oh he saved xoxo and that means them and 2 others are gonna die!’ plots. nope. no way. this is the do-over of all do-overs. a one time fix it and fix it for the better.

THAT ALL BEING SAID this post is me being like hey what if daryl got a second chance whatever but no! what this post is truly about at its core is: IMAGINE a daryl thats lived….lets go with the ricks just died version. daryls lived that long and lost that many members of his family.

and then he hasn’t.

imagine daryl seeing beth for the first time again. the last time he saw her, he was carrying out her dead body to her sobbing sister. then they’re all at the farm again and she’s theres. alive and well and still young and bright and smiling. ‘you’re gonna miss me so bad when i’m gone’ he fucking did. he missed her so fucking much. he like. physically stops himself from like just going up and grabbing her and hugging the shit out of her.

daryl seeing sophia grow up? seeing carol become that mum. the mum that she always wanted to be and become still the strongest fucking women daryl had ever met but also like……..her and sophia. every time he sees them together he just wants to cry. carol deserves this so fucking bad. after everything, if he could save nothing else. he can make peace with himself knowing he gave carol this. this time with her daughter that she got robbed of.

daryl seeing glenn, alive, so so so young it seems compared to the the last glenn he saw. seeing him at camp at the quarry. seeing him talk to maggie for the first time. going from seeing him alive and so so so fucking real then his sleep being filled with nightmares of That night. how long after glenns death did daryl blame himself. would’ve put his head under the bat without hesitation if it meant that glenn could live and meet his son. him and maggie can run hilltop together. and now he’s real and he’s tangible and he’s funny and daryl spent so much of his time remembering glenn and feeling guilty that he never even really let himself miss him? but fuck he’s missed glenn so fucking much. missed having his back out on runs and glenn having his.

meeting aaron and eric again. going to that spag bowl dinner, eating the fuck out of it, just enjoying watching these two gays in love have dinner with each other at the end of the world. thinks about how they specifically invited him over for dinner. erics not gonna die this time round. they’re both gonna met gracie. bring her back number plates. help her put them on the wall, put them amongst all her drawings.

meeting merle again. knowing that merle died for him. them. the whole family. michone. idk if i want merle to live or die idk lets move on.

hershel lives!!!!!!!!! no beheading here!!!!!!!! fuck that!!!!!! fuck the governor!!!!! maggie and beth and glenn do not ever have to witness their father (in law) being killed in cold blood! no! hershel fits in v well with the alexandia community and thrives there. daryl makes damn sure of that.

daryl on that first day they meet jesus? him and rick getting in that car, rick singing that damn song, and daryl realising oh Shit! its that day already?? and then jesus, the fucker, does exactly what he does last time. and daryls just like.......so fucking happy that jesus is HERE and ALIVE and RIGHT THERE that he doesnt even get to outsmart him. show off. jesus pulls the firecracker stunt again and swipes ricks keys and when rick and him are stranded there and jesus has taken off with the truck, daryls just standing there like how the fuck did i let that happen. chases him around the field AGAIN! ‘duck!’ ‘thats my gun!’ AGAIN!!!!!! <3<3<3

the long road of the apocolypse is just as hard the second time as the first but everytime daryl looks around at his family and sees everyone they lost so tragically last time, alive, hes like..................a MESS. theyre alive! and safe! and hes so happy that his family is all together again. 

[movedthechangingman]

(1) I am watching atla for the first time and I know why zuko redemption worked while other’s (kylo, catara) failed, Zuko always has honor and was shown to care and make good decisions and be a good person even at his lowest points, like when he cared about his crew or tried to help and save a little kid even though the family and the kid ended up rejecting him, he never did something outrageous and he had time to learn and sort out his feelings before making a turn around and join the gang

putting this under a cut!

(2) azuko always acted upon what he believed was the right thing, once he was exposed to the outer world he learned how awful the fire nation was and the chain of abuse he was living in, he by himself made the decision and has 2 season in order to redeem himself while characters like Cassandra (tangled) and Catra had seasons of upping the stakes and acting more and more awful each time and only one season where the narrative are like “they were under someone else control and they were abused” (3) “so they nice blonde best friend who acts more like their sister and who they were abusing and victim blaming has to forgive them for everything bad they did because they were uwu abused too” and it seems many people like that which fine, if this was characterized as a delicate situation, where it could turns bad, which could turn to be even toxic, I wouldn’t have a problem with, but it is framed as beautiful and as good and as “true love!” (4) without the main aggressors Catra and Cassandra putting as much in their relationship as their blonde counterpart Adora and Raps who are forced to act as a matyr till they get fed up with their friends abuse and toxicity and put their foot down yet they always end up forgiving their abuser’s transgressions by the end somehow, it seems like the classic tale of “if he pulls your hair or means he likes you” which it’s most similar to (5) To the honeymoon or the reconciliation stage of an abusive relationship cycle’s, nothing assures you that the abuse won’t continue on but they sell it out as this wonderful and beautiful love story which it’s plain wrong, and I feel that it doesn’t receives as muy flack because it’s F/F but in reality in a relationship one has to be consistently good and reliable and as a bisexual women I feel like they are doing a disservice and it’s worse because it’s directed towards kids (5) and lastly both Wlw parings were being either outright mentioned or hinted at by the show or crew as this characters having a “sister bound” with Cassandra and Rapunzel Being outright being described as sisters in the show and Catara and Adora being described as that by the crew and with them growing having the same motherly figure and having a clear case of golden and scapegoat child, which coupled with the abuse they suffered at hands of their paternal figure and at each other hands makes the situation very gross

i have never seen ATLA outside of the first 3 eps but that is the general consensus ive heard. i have also never seen rapunzel TAS but i watched/read a bunch of spoiler stuff for it but i think my understanding is still loose. i also heard that he wasnt a villain very long idk how true that is though. but youre right from what im reading! i think it is important for your character to have an appropriate amount of time to make up for their actions... its also important with these redemption stories for the character to address the things they did, like not a “sorry for the things or whatever” but “i am sorry i did x , x, and x” etc IMO and there needs to be work put into making things right. and the victim should not necessarily be the one pushing them through that...

like i can say for certain if c*tra was a dude there would be a HUGE discourse about the fact that yeah, she really is that “mean because they have a crush on you” BS and whats most horrifying is that it seems like noelle saw NO problem with how she portrayed that relationship and all the guilt and suffering adra went through bc of ctra was really supposed to be romantic. fcking insane. like if it was just a fandom ship w.e.... ppl always gonna ship characters if they hate eachohter... but the actual creators saying its romantic is SO WTF abuse isnt negated by it being el gee bee tee rep and whats awful is i think people REALLY believe it is. not to mention uh your WLW love interest being an physically + emotionally volatile fascist who canonically does not care that she goes out to her way to aid violent takeover of innocents for a dictatorship is already like. huh.

(i mentioned also like even seagawk and mermista - her constant “uuuugh youre so annoying” about him is supposed to be cute apparently.... like noelle posted a pic of her in a shirt that says “im with stupid” pointing at seahawk and... like... that would be funny if they had healthy communication and she didnt seriously treat him like he was an idiot 24/7... but if this was reversed it would be a huge problem and everyone would flip out.)

i never thought catra and adora were written very sisterly since its undeniable that there was a clear attraction between them in the early part of the show but holy fck if the crew did say that.... ugh... although i agree it is really skeevy that their plot revolves around an abusive mother which i feel inforces the “adoptive siblings arent real siblings” pseudo incest trope as much as i think the interactions between catra and adora were not sisterly in how they were written. if that makes sense

i hate to bring up SU but i think it covers this topic really well w spinel - whos so toxic she literally poisoned people - while steven does set her on her path, he does not make himself responsible for her redemption. we get a snippet of that later ofc - where we see that she is trying to become better while also helping the other abusive characters through their change (which we also see is still ongoing - those behaviors havent been fully unlearned - nothing can be fixed that quickly). and most notably the victim (steven) while tolerating them through their attempts at change and encouraging them, does not forgive them and makes an open effort to distance himself even while his abusers still want him to help them 24/7.

whats bothering me the most is not that ppl enjoy these ships bc no matter what people will and you cant stop them but rather that ppl refuse to admit that something they like is abusive - either bc they want to save face as a unproblematic fandom blogger or bc they are 100% unwilling to take critique on something they like, to the point where now ppl wont accept any criticism on she ra at all as a show even if it has nothing to do w the awful excuse for romance.

[jj-ktae]

GOT7 In Paris Experience  !

First of all and before I start fangirling, let me tell you one thing : GOT7 LIVE IS DAMN LIT IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND.

Let me start with the beginning.

It all began when our plane landed. I was with my sister and we were supposed to meet @jaebeomsmullet at the airport, which was a day before the concert.

It was kind of crazy that our plane landed 2 hours before GOT7’s flight. We were on GATE 2D and GOT7 were supposed to arrive at GATE 2F which is like, super close. We initially had to go to our Airbnb but you know, people were waiting for them and I thought it would be cool to have just a tiny look. Never thought we’d actually see them this CLOSE later!

It was insane. Yes. Everyone was running around, yelling, pushing, and I was so shocked to see this. I was able to see them before they walked out of the airport.

Actually an old lady, who was waiting for her daughters to see GOT7, came to us and told us “hey, why are you waiting here, they are right there!” while pointing another direction. I was like “meh, she must be mistaken.” But still I told my sis and Jen to wait for me wait and followed her and BOOM, this old lady took me to GOT7. Like, she just pointed and they were there, and no one had seen them yet and I was like “WTH THIS IS GOT7” lol So I texted my sis so she could bring Jen because they were still waiting near the gates.

It was nice, I asked the security to move from in front of them so I could take pictures and they just went “oh, sorry, there you go.” And walked away lmao.  I mostly watched them after I took a couple of pictures, too ashamed to take more, especially when Jackson looked up and saw me haha (at this moment he instantly became a HUGE BIAS WRECKER, ASK JEN.)

So they walk to the Gate’s doors and this is when everyone runs and goes wild. We just walk away, thinking they will escape the opposite way but they lowkey just walk toward us as they were taking the same exit and I just remember watching Jinyoung in his “Parisien” outfit, in awe, while yelling to Jen ‘DON’T MOVE THEY WILL CRUSH YOU” lol I saw all the fangirls and fansites run toward us and I thought we were going to die lmao.

This is when I start realizing I just saw GOT7 and I barely landed in Paris lol. I have my luggage and pictures/videos of GOT7 (Bambam and Yugyeom waved at us before people noticed them but I was watching Jinyoung so I only saw when I watched the video I took with Jen on the way to the Airbnb lol). 

Then my friends tell us people are ALREADY queueing in front of Le Zenith and I’m like WTF I need to be front raw I didn’t come all the way here for that and Jen, who had CAT A tickets needed to be close IT WAS MY DUTY TO LET HER SEE HER MULLET OKAY, I PROMISED HER.

So, later that day, and after a lot of anxiety and panic, we end up in front of the concert hall AT 11PM THE DAY BEFORE THE CONCERT. It’s raining, everyone’s wild, the park around the venue is DANGEROUS AT NIGHT but who cares, we grab survival blankets (Jen falls asleep at some point while I cover her body from the cold lol) and we good for the night. It was honestly crazy, we ended up running around because we needed to pee in this dark place at 4am, full of drunken men (the French Fanbase had to call the police at some point as men were fighting) well, I’ll spare you the details but this night was wild but we had our numbers. I was number 32 in the VIP section and Jen was 39 (I guess ?) in the CAT A section. So far everything’s good and I know I’ll be front raw, Jen will be close, and everything will be alright.

At 7am, we get our last numbering and go back to the Airbnb BUT OH WELL I get a call at 9 telling us to come back because the venue’s security decided to do another numbering and we can lose our numbers? At this point we’re sleep deprived, starving, in need of energy but we have to run back there? Thank god our Airbnb is like 8 mins from the concert or else I would have gone NUTS.

So we go back, I tell Jen to survive and fight if needed (fangirls are MEAN. Let me tell you, everyone was fighting.) The VIP section was a mess and the CAT A was WORSE.

Around 12pm. THE GUY FROM MMT (JIN) SHOWS UP, FINALLY. AND HE TELLS US WE WILL KEEP OUR NUMBERS. Thumbs up to Jin-ssi, I also sent him hearts. My boi.

At some point, Jen is lost into the CAT A crowd and I have no way to find her because the sections are separated and CLOSED. My final number is 51 (they added the TOP 10 tastemakers who had TWO VIPS TICKETS + Two handicapped people who had to enter to before us). They tell us to come back at 3PM because they will start organizing people since the High Touch will be BEFORE THE CONCERT. Like we needed to die before they even start singing lol.

Jen is nowhere to be seen. The last message I get from her is “People are fighting” And I’m like Damn it will she die before she sees her mullet.

SPOILER : SHE SURVIVED.

I grab my bracelet with my official entrance number and go back to the Airbnb because I had slept outside and had to come back before I even took a shower. I literally feel like shit.

We had enough of the bullshit at some point lol. But when we come back and have to wait again,  Mark, Jaebum and Youngjae appear and run down the building’s stairs while laughing lol

SO NOW ON TO THE GOOD PART.

We wait for more than 2 HOURS. They made us come at 3pm but the High Touch starts around 6PM.

A guy comes numerous times with a camera and runs around, filming the VIP Section while we’re dying under the sun. YAY GOOD TIMES.

We enter and then they tell us “You’ll be doing the high five with your left hand so remove the rings and everything hanging on your hand. NO CAMERA, NO CELLPHONE, NOTHING.”

They give us water and the staff goes “NOW DRINK.” GOT7’s Staff is really cool and chill, they’re smiling and happy to see us but it’s already so hot inside we’re dying. They tell us to smile, to be happy, that everything’s going to be awesome and we know this, WE KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BE EXTRA.

Then they tell us to walk as it’s about to start and I slowly lose my mind. I’m thankful I saw them the day before at the airport as I won’t have the “I’m seeing them for the first time” moment, which could make me go blank lol

The order goes like: MARK, JINYOUNG, YOUNGJAE, JAEBUM, JACKSON, BAMBAM, YUGYEOM.

Mark is the first I see from afar, he is very smiley and GORGEOUS. They looked different from the no makeup at the airport and I went blind for a second. Or died. OR both. Mark is very gentle, he hits so slowly and smiles and his sweet voice goes “Hey~" and all I can say is “…Hi…”. He has an amazing smile and isn’t that TINY. I was expecting him to be smaller but no, NOPE. He takes time to look at everyone in the eyes and I thank him for that. 12/10 would recommend.

Jinyoung. JINYOUNG. I don’t even have the time to speak because he goes “HI!” and boom, hits my hand so hard it flies away and laughs. Like, I can see his wrinkles and dimples and his face is ART. ARRRRTTT. He looks so HAPPY and SOFT. Like he is ready to be fluffy and honestly I was expecting him to be cool and greet everyone calmly but he is so EXCITED. He can’t stop smiling! AGAIN, I just go “..Hi..”

Youngjae is a damn sunshine. He goes “HHHIIIIIIIIIII!!!!” super loudly and does a very energetic high five with his sunshine self. I don’t remember his face fully as I didn’t look at him in the eyes. Jinyoung’s face was still HAUNTING ME. I just remember saying “Hey..” with my traumatized voice. I probably look stupid at some point.

Jaebum. LOL I CANT. I CANNNT. HE IS AMAZING. I wasn’t going to talk to them or anything so I wasn’t expecting them to TALK lol. The girl before me says “You’re voice is beautiful” and walks away and as I arrive in front of him he is shyly saying “..ah..Gomawo…” AND HIS VOICE IS EXACTLY THE SAME. I look at him, he looks at me, and says “..Hi!.”, leans and gently taps his hand against mine. AND HE SMILES. I MEAN, WHEN I SAY GENTLY, IT MEANS, VERY SOFTLY. It’s not even a high five anymore tbh. WHERE THE HELL IS CHIC JAEBUM WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM WHY IS HE SO SOFT AND SMILING AND BEAUTIFUL WTF. As usual, I say “Hi..” and TRY not to FAINT.

Jackson. SO yep. YEP. Listen to me, Jackson has SUNGLASSES. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to see his eyes (I think it’s because he was wearing lenses and didn’t want us to see, which I didn’t know yet.) And yeah, so far everyone had their hands up, ready to high five us but Jackson has his hand down, palm up, and is waiting like the king he is. I am kinda confused, what should I do? Hit his hand? Shake it ? NO. I am SO WEIRD, I just stop, look at his face, grin, and molest his hand. For real, I run my fingers on his palm, lowkey smirking and I LITERALLY CARESS HIS DAMN HAND. I think I make a weird, smug noise because I’m enjoying myself a bit too much. Don’t ask me why. It just happened. Then I grab it and squeeze his hand and he is just standing, not moving, he lets me harass his hand and it ends up in a sort of weird handshake lol WE DON’T TALK. I DON’T EVEN GREET HIM, I JUST CLAIM HIS HAND. CAN YOU BELIEVE I DIDN’T EVEN SAY A WORD, CAN YOU BELIEVE I ACTED LIKE A CREEP? FML. By the way, His hand felt very small. EH EH EH.

AND THEN BAMBAM INTERRUPTS AND YELLS. HE FCKING YELLS “HEYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!” while leaning toward Jackson and I snap out of it lmao He lifts his hand and I say “ᴴᵉʸ ᴮᵃᵐᵐᵐᵐ” (My soul is gone at some point, do not blame me tyvm). Bambam is loud but very friendly. I don’t remember much from Bambam because I just can’t believe this is happening.

Yugyeom. That lil shit acts all shy. He is half bowing half embarrassed. I don’t even know why he just looks very shy and red and has a bright smile and mumbles “..H..HI.”  Like he doesn’t hump the floor regularly. Don’t believe this kid. DO NOT be fooled. HE KNOWS. He is also very gentle and then it’s time to enter the hall and I run for my life again.

I end up front raw. Bambam takes my friend’s crown “Bambam king of Dab”, bump his fist with us, does the Wakanda sign. We were a group of 15 and everyone had interactions. Youngjae bends to shake our hands, Jackson leans a lot and STARES. I don’t know why he stares at people all the time, but he always looks at someone. Yugyeom too. Overall, Jackson and Yugyeom stayed a lot in front of where I was, but everyone came and greeted us. I think they kinda have to stay around some specific parts of the stage thorough the concert.

Our fan projects were awesome, and we threw green balloons during the first chorus of You Are, and Jaebum looked SO HAPPY. Later he said “It was beautiful when you threw the green balloons. It makes me want to keep on being an artist.”

They were not expecting people in Paris to be so wild. Everyone was stomping the floor so hard that Mark said “It seems you’re having fun; I’m almost getting scared.”  

Jackson said he will never forget this moment, Bambam said if he could come secretly, he would like to come to Paris and stay for a couple of months lol.

Yugyeom was stomping the floor a lot because he wanted us to do it too and at some point even the screens on both sides of the stage were shaking.

Oh and two of my friends made a heart during Firework (If I remember well), Jinyoung saw them and lift his hand like it was a sword and CUT THEIR HEART lol. So many of these interactions happened, I could write a whole lot more about it but it’s long enough already haha.

I was right in front of one of the security staff and I would like to thank them for being there! He gave us water during the concert, was funny and respectful and even told us “If they bend to grab your phones, give it to me and I’ll give it to them.” But no one did, maybe because people from the previous concerts THREW THEIR PHONES AT THEM.

TO CONCLUDE : IT WAS THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE NOW LET ME CONTINUE WITH MY POST-CONCERT-BREAKDOWN. I have some videos and i’ll try to upload them because they’re very close to the stage but I suck at editing and I have to put credit and I have no idea how to do that  without messing with the video lol :/// You can find awesome fancams on youtube and all over twitter, though! 

Sorry for the typos!

ps : Every time Jackson looked at me he had the “you’re the hand fetishist girl” stare 😭😭😭 

[jinnielovebot]

whatever sick ass marketing strat jyp thinks he’s tryna pull, it’s not working

im not gonna rant about jyp in this post bc im sure PLENTY of you have alreayd done that and trust me, i have too. lets just think about how emotionally crushing this must have been on the boys :(((

chan had to not only be told that he had to get better at EVERYTHING (srsly tho jyp what ht e fuck) but he had to watch 2 of his members get eliminated. as if jyp couldnt spell it out any clearer that he thought chan’s effort and hard work was for nothing. i cant even begin to imagine how hard this must be for him, thinking that he probably failed his team and that it’s all his fault.

woojin ahsdASDJKAS okay listne here BITHC woojin hasn’t been practicing for years upon years just for jyp to say “lmao ur not main vocal material” suck my ASS jyp if youre fucking looking for main vocal material in your company then i think its safe to say that you need to remove yourself from the music career then :) woojin literally helped other members out with their vocals and jyp has the balls to say hes not good enough wha theh fu cfdjgksvhf it hurts sm to see woojin look so disappointed in himself when he really shouldnt be ajdkdlsls

changbin literally had to see the 2 members of his group get eliminated. he looked so broken when felix got eliminated it actually fucking hurt my heart just to hit the unpause button and see him torn up when he was hugging felix. when he kept saying he was sorry to felix i almost lost it there was so much desperation and regret in his voice it was so painful to see him so broken and blaming himself for losing his group members

hyunjin, oh my god where do i even start idc if im sounding biased rn but this kid had to go through TWO elimination scares, both in the first mission and after the busking like how the FUCK do you think he feels rn?? im so torn knowing that hes probably scared that he’ll be next or that he’s not cut out for the team with all the (STUPID ASS) criticism he’s gotten from jyp ahsdkjadajsk i srsly hope he’s not losing confidence in himself :(((

jisung now has seen both woojin and jeongin at risk of elimination i swear to the lord his heart must be absolutely crushed right now. can you even imagine how guilty he must be feeling right now that he couldn’t help those two even THOUGH HE REALLY DID A SHIT TON like asdjhkASDAHSKJ

minho suffered through SO much unjustified criticism from jyp it scares me to think about how much confidence he must have lost because of it ajkd he worked his ass off improving his rap, dance, and vocals in such a short amount of time but jyp just tossed that all out the window and u know all those memes on tumblr abt minho whooping jyp in the future? that better happen soon for realsies :’)

jeongin has srsly been in fear of that disgusting crusty ass old snake man jyp ever since the first mission bc jyp is a blind ass cuck who thinks its cool to scare the living daylights out of jeongin. this poor kid has had to go through so much criticism throughout the show bc apparently jyp cant see that he’s actually IMPROVINGA SHIT TON and is still young asf so he still has time to learn. dhaskdjas i hope he regains his confidence and stands up to that crusty old man soon >:(((

seungmin, i thank rvery star in the sky that jyp has for the most part kept his grimy hands off of seungmin but i remember this onenficcking part i just cant rememebe r WHERE but he looked so crushed and it was all bc of the one and only snake

felix, i needa take a breather. you can’t fcking tell me that felix isn’t a hard worker. this boy who’s not even 18 yet freaking left his home miles and miles away with little knowledge about the language nor korea itself, all just for a shot at debuting under jyp. he poured all his blood sweat and tears just to practice his dancing for hours and hours, and when he wasn’t dancing, he was practicing korean for the few months that he was in korea. you can even fking SEE HOW HE WAS PRACTICING HIS PRONUNCIATION AND RAP FOR THE PERFORMANCE and yet jyp doesnt see that he basically just threw away all of felixs hard work and boy oh boy i cannot begin to imagine how felix felt being told he just wasnt good enough. idk someone probably gonna argue that “if he wants to debut he shoulda gotten better at korean” but see the flaw in YA LOGIC IS THAT he’s been there for very VERY few months. a language can take upwards of years to learn, yet hes been doing it every minute of every day over the span of 2-3 months and it’s not always about how good you are at something, it’s about how HARD you work to get there. it doesnt matter if he’s not perfect at korean or if he made mistakes in the choreo, it matters that he actually works really fucking hard to improve and jyp overlooked all of that with his ugly ass sunglasses

rant over congrats if you made it this far

[notncl]

Hi. Lately ive been feeling demorivated and experiencing so much anxiety. Im so scared of everything thats about to happen in my life. Im so damn scared that i wont make it. I’ve been really trying my best to cope and simply trying to take everything one step at a time. Medicine is just so overwhelming and im just so fcking scared that ill fail :(((( I cant seem to tell anyone what I feel rn cos one idk where my bf is?? i keep telling him that im getting anxiety lately but it feels like he’s doing other sht. I dont blame him though cos he has his own life and has to deal with his own sht BUT sometimes it just feels good to have someone around. And rn i can only lean on myself. Im so damn scared BUT i just pray that everything will work out well. May I thrive and learn. May I stop being afraid. May I be strong and conquer each challenge.

I also believe that ive alread come a long way and there’s no need for me to be afraid!!!! :( I’ve prayed so hard for this!!!!!!! I know i wanted this from the beginning!!!! Pls God when the skies are to grey and dark and i already feel like quitting and giving up pls pls pls give me hope!!!! pls enlighten me even with the lighest one u can give just pls never let that light in me cease!!!! PLS GOD IM BEGGING YOU HELP ME FIRE UP THAT COLLEGE PASSION IN ME!! THAT PASSION THAT I KEEP BEGGING YOU TO BLESS ME WITH 🥺

[hotdadlicense]

hi i’m in walking dead mode right now so ignore this but u know how theres like quite a few AUs where like......rick wakes up and its the start of the apocalypse again after living through a fair chunk of it and its like him correcting mistakes or whatever OR the au where they all kinda wake up but theres no zombies and the end of the world was all a dream but they all collectively had it so they find each other in the modern world and meet up????? thats neat and all and i will read those fics till the day i die but u know what i have not seen and i rly wanna like. cry over? daryl. 

daryl waking up at the start of the end of the world? okay i haven't put much thought into pre-rick era so like maybe just before rick comes in? maybe when merle and the crew leave for the city???? and its like a post-negan daryl thats waking up here. mayhaps the night glenn d*es and daryl gets taken? OR EVEN better maybe when jesus rescues daryl and daryl finally falls asleep for the first time in months on an actual pillow surrounded by certain members of his found family and then he just????? 

wakes up and he’s at the fcking quarry. his bitchass loudmouth brothers nowhere in sight cos as daryl figures out later, merle left the previous day. its the highkey reset button that everyone kinda wishes they had because they’ve all lost so much over the past 2-3 years but like... it can not be real. okay i will readmore the rest of this so you can all stop suffering now

or! and i haven't actually seen past carl dying so i’m not positive about things but hmmm maybe when rick ~dies. the bridge explodes. rick, for all intents and purposes of the show, /DiEs/. and daryls a fucking mess becos that was on him and maggie and idk who else was involved in that plot or even if thats actually what happened. but from what ive gathered rick and daryl were kinda on the outs with the negan shit and that bridge scene could’ve been avoided. if things had just gone a bit differently. if they could go back in time just for a second! just one more chance! one more shot at things going differently and daryl could totally fix everything. then the next day daryls waking up at the quarry.

ugh quarry era daryl and saviour/negan+ era daryl are so different? like the heart of him is the same but they all barely know each other at the start and daryls so angry and skittish and runs on fight or flight mode but alexandria/saviour/negan era daryl has like......bleed for these people? provided food and water for these people? led these people to safety? put his life on the line on several occasions for these people? made some of these people smile and laugh by just existing? stepped in as leader when rick has his moments? or like co leader with michonne & co.?

like would he tell anyone?? would he speak up more and try lead them to the farm cos that was a good move they did before? does he keep up pretences and chuck a tantrum over the crew not returning with merle or does he like. go ‘okay.’ and everyones like what the actual fuck. does he go into the prison and head for the cafeteria straight away to get the remaining prisoners out and kill that one bitch that fucks shit up for them?? 

he absofuckinglutely saves sophia. jumps that fucking guardrail before rick can even get out from under the car properly. carol literally not letting sophia out of her sight for days after daryl and rick and sophia all return like 2 hrs later, wet and covered in dirt and some blood but safe.

if he did tell someone, who would it be?????? rick?? carol?? like how would that even go down. would he tell them maybe later on? prison era maybe. when michonne finally comes and they’re all debating whether to let her in or let her fuck off and stuff and daryls like wow i cant take this anymore rick that is ur future WIFE man. patch up her fucking leg. 

or maybe carol. when they’re on watch together and carol casually mentions that daryl was over and into the woods, right on sophias heels, before people even realised which direction she went. how rick mentioned once to her that daryl seemed to know exactly where to find her. even picked up her doll without even seeming to stop. just seemed to know exactly what was happening. daryl just shrugging.

also side note. we, and daryl, do NOT know a butterfly effect. absolutely no ‘oh he saved xoxo and that means them and 2 others are gonna die!’ plots. nope. no way. this is the do-over of all do-overs. a one time fix it and fix it for the better.

THAT ALL BEING SAID this post is me being like hey what if daryl got a second chance whatever but no! what this post is truly about at its core is: IMAGINE a daryl thats lived....lets go with the ricks just died version. daryls lived that long and lost that many members of his family. 

and then he hasn't.

imagine daryl seeing beth for the first time again. the last time he saw her, he was carrying out her dead body to her sobbing sister. then they’re all at the farm again and she’s theres. alive and well and still young and bright and smiling. ‘you’re gonna miss me so bad when i’m gone’ he fucking did. he missed her so fucking much. he like. physically stops himself from like just going up and grabbing her and hugging the shit out of her. 

daryl seeing sophia grow up? seeing carol become that mum. the mum that she always wanted to be and become still the strongest fucking women daryl had ever met but also like........her and sophia. every time he sees them together he just wants to cry. carol deserves this so fucking bad. after everything, if he could save nothing else. he can make peace with himself knowing he gave carol this. this time with her daughter that she got robbed of.

daryl seeing glenn, alive, so so so young it seems compared to the the last glenn he saw. seeing him at camp at the quarry. seeing him talk to maggie for the first time. going from seeing him alive and so so so fucking real then his sleep being filled with nightmares of That night. how long after glenns death did daryl blame himself. would’ve put his head under the bat without hesitation if it meant that glenn could live and meet his son. him and maggie can run hilltop together. and now he’s real and he’s tangible and he’s funny and daryl spent so much of his time remembering glenn and feeling guilty that he never even really let himself miss him? but fuck he’s missed glenn so fucking much. missed having his back out on runs and glenn having his. 

meeting aaron and eric again. going to that spag bowl dinner, eating the fuck out of it, just enjoying watching these two gays in love have dinner with each other at the end of the world. thinks about how they specifically invited him over for dinner. erics not gonna die this time round. they're both gonna met gracie. bring her back number plates. help her put them on the wall, put them amongst all her drawings.

meeting merle again. knowing that merle died for him. them. the whole family. michone. idk if i want merle to live or die idk lets move on.

hershel lives!!!!!!!!! no beheading here!!!!!!!! fuck that!!!!!! fuck the governor!!!!! maggie and beth and glenn do not ever have to witness their father (in law) being killed in cold blood! no! hershel fits in v well with the alexandia community and thrives there. daryl makes damn sure of that. 

the road is long and things look bleak at some stages but everyday daryl gets to look at this group of people, who fucking survived! against all odds!!!! and he can smile and breathe and it doesn't matter that food is scarce. it hasn't rained in a while. everyones exhausted. doesn't matter!!! they're all alive and okay and no where near as jaded as they could be right now. every single time in the past 3 yrs where hes thought ‘if i could just go back and fix this ONE thing’ and he got that chance and he fucking excelled at it. his whole families right here, having a bbq, theyre met new people, saved more people, gotten smarter quicker.  

[transrightsjimin]

im so fuckng annoyed AAAA ive been wanting to vacuum for months nd months nd months nd never got around to doing it bc i first had to push mysekf to clean the rest of my room nd now that ive done that, i finally have the willpower to vacuum but yesterday i was working nd i had no energy after that nor could i bc my friend was working from home nd today my friend is working from home again so i can only vacuum the house in his fucking 30 and 15 minute breaks nd i cant shower yet nor do fcking hang up my posters like i wanted nor hang up clothing etc bc EVERYTHING falls on the ground bc im clumsy nd the ground is so fcking dusty nd ive only been able to vacuum half the living room in 20 minutes thus far and my mom will visit here in front of the door to bring food and ive been wanting to just GET THE FUCKING VACUUMING DONE ND THEN GET A SHOWER ND GET DRESSED IN LOLITA FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ALMOST A YEAR BUT I CANT BC HES WORKING ND IS LIKE ‘OH WHY WONT U DO IT AFTER MY WORK‘ BUT THATS TOO LATE, MY ENERGY IS UP BY THEN ND I CANT GET SHIT DONE BEFORE THE FLOOR IS CLEAN BC IF IM BUSY W CLOTHES IT ALL FALLS ONTO THE GROSS FLOOR AGAIN!!!! ND ALSO I HAVE NO MORE FUCKING ENERGY BY THE TIME HES DONE!!! SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO ND IM JUST STRSSED ND LIGHT HEADED IN MY ROOM W/O ANYTHING USEFUL TO DO UNTIL THE DAY IS ALMOST OVER ND I FEEL GROSS ND ANNOYED ND WORST PART IS IM BLAMING HIM INSTEAD OF MYSELF FOR NOT HAVING VACUUMED MONTHS AGO

[tenseoyong]

Yes, you're married to all three. Good luck~

k so here’s how a day in my foursome marriage goes

morning

bed is too full. we’re all in the same bed. there’s no room. taeyong never goes a full night with a blanket. ten always steals the blanket. ten get’s a blanket. taeyong wakes up cold. i have massive tree jojo as a blanket. 

taeyong wakes up first every day. he cooks breakfast. then johnny wakes up. he eats literally everything while taeyong wakes ten and i up. i end up kicking someone bc when i’m touched while i sleep, i instinctively kick. hard. dunno why that happens. have 100% kick my grandpa across the room in my sleep. don’t touch me. tae get’s kicked. but i’m up. ten’s whiny in the morning so he’s the first to shower to shut him up. 

tae and i go to the kitchen.

johnny is nearly dead on the counter for eating food meant for 4 people

domestic cooking with liz+tae while johnny regrets his life decisions.

ten comes back. isn’t dressed. dude stays in his towel till noon.

johnny showers.

ten, tae, and i eat.

johnny ends up on the couch post shower. whining that his tummy hurts.

tae showers while i try and fix my rats nest hair that happens at night. i have straight have but my hair tries to curl then it just ends up…a mess….dunno why it does that. is a pain in the ass.

tae goes to give johnny medicine to make him stfu

i shower for 2 hours cuz bitch i got long hair, gotta wash my face, brush my teeth, and shave every inch of my body while winning imaginary arguments i need this time alone i have THREE(3) HUSBANDS LET ME HAVE THIS

ten, johnny, tae go do work

i spend the next 5 hours on the couch watching Arthur and Between the Lion eps I record to watch

Afternoon

i make lunch. small serving for tree jojo bc he ate so much breakfast. gonna get sick if he don’t stop doing that but tae’s cooking is so good i can’t blame him tbh.

i drop the food off.

say hi to my boys if i can, if not, i just leave. prob text em i love em or some mushy shit bc i love em.

gotta do the shopping since with our four dumb butts we run through all the food in one day. gotta restock for tomorrow. 

i find another cat to add to my collection. probs will get scolded by tae for getting another one but he wont take it from me. i win.

end up back home. put all the food away. back on the couch with my new floof. tumblr. more between the lions. i fcking love between the lions.

maybe some weird ass dancing

try and do cherry bomb.

attempts taeyongs drop thinging

end up hurting my dumb ass self

lay on the floor until the boys come home

evening/night

johnnys big butt has to carry me to bed

im milking it, im not hurt but like…carry me pls

cuddle me i hurt :(

honestly this is ur fault for having such fun and dangerous choreo

ten and tae cook dinner bc i wont let go of johnny

he kinda stinks from practice but hey i brought home a dirty cat so how can i talk about stinky things

ten doesnt rlly help

more like he hands taeyong the stuff taeyong asks for

he doesnt actually touch the food

dinner in bed

on tuesdays we watch ahs

just a giant ball of sweaty boys, a hidden cat, trying not to spill food on the bed messy people

i pass tf out after dinner and ahs

stinky boys have to shower

tae finally found my new cat

will def scold me in the morning

but its got a collar and name already you cant take the cat from me taetae pls ily

ten and tae crash after showers

johnny does clean up duty bc hes tol he can put the cups back on the shelf

my tol comes to bed and has to push ten and tae out the way to cuddle

also

i have 3 rings 

its pretty weird

really hard to explain to strangers

and why my name contains 3 last names now

this whole situation is weird

goodnight