#i celebrate yule dudes

[casimircrane]

i get to open one present on christmas eve and the rest on christmas. my father knows this and likes to fuck with me. he wrapped one boot in a bag and the other in another bag.

i love to fuck with him too tho, so of course i prodded at the presents this morning and i figured it out. so i picked that one to open :]

✨️the singular boot, primed to be painted ✨️

[korppipoika]

You better not cry, you better not shout...

So back in the day the Finnish Joulupukki/Santa wasn’t really a hoped guest... But anyways; Happy holidays! Hyvää joulua! 

[toournextadventure]

a novel life pt.2

Summary: You're trying to make nice with Sam's little sister, for everyone's sake. Maybe it leads to an interrogation. Maybe it leads to more. And maybe you end up sucked into the unusual events that follow Legacies

Word Count: 4.3k Warnings: swearing, distrust, mentions of past trauma, mentions of blood, mentions of Scream typical violence Pairing: Samantha Carpenter x GN!Reader A/N: Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Yule, and whatever holidays y'all all celebrate 🫶 (pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3) (pt.4) (pt.5)

“Are you sure this is okay?” You asked as you nearly tripped over your feet.

Sam gave you a look that was both sweet and condescending. “Yes, because I said so.”

“That doesn’t seem like solid reasoning,” you mumbled, but nonetheless continued following her up the steps to her apartment.

It was nearing Halloween, with the cooling air finally allowing for the use of jackets. Which you had few of, since Sam had decided to keep them for herself. Not that there was anyone to blame but yourself; it was what you deserved for offering her jackets every time she forgot one. She had simply decided it was rather nice to have an unlimited selection of jackets, both too-large and just right.

In all her wisdom, Sam had suggested the two of you, and Tara and her partner have a movie night. Tara got to choose the movie, and no one could object. All in all it should have been a win for the younger Carpenter; she could make you suffer if she truly wanted, and you couldn’t say a word about it. Which was going to cause the night to be very, very long.

Oh, the things you would do for her.

“Is she going to pick something scary?” You asked before you both approached the door. “Because I don’t like scary.”

“I have no doubt it will be scary,” Sam said with a barely-concealed smile. “I’ll hold your hand to keep you safe.”

“You’re my hero,” you said as you leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to her lips. She tasted strongly of the cigarette she had smoked on the way from your apartment to hers.

You tried to pull away, but she quickly followed, keeping her lips pressed against yours. Every sense was enveloped by her. Her smell, her taste, the feel of her body pressed against yours so tightly it was as if you would float away without her. There was nothing you could have ever wanted more than your Sam.

“We shouldn’t give Tara something to be upset about,” you mumbled against Sam’s lips when she finally pulled back just the slightest distance.

“Tara’s always upset,” she answered before sighing, “but you’re right.”

“Baby steps,” you said with a smile.

“For the big baby.”

“Samantha.”

“I’m kidding,” she tried to argue as she grabbed your hand and started finally moving into the apartment.

You both knew she wasn’t kidding.

“My dude!”

You had barely walked through the door when Tara’s partner called out to you, a genuine, toothy grin visible on their face. They had asked you to call them J, which you had happily agreed to. Sam teased that it was short for Joker - you assumed because of the scars - but the look on Tara’s face told you not to ever bring it up. Ever.

It was a rule you could oblige by.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again,” you said as you hung your coat on the back of one of the chairs at the dining table. It had only taken you dropping your coat once before you realised the Carpenters saw no need for a coat rack.

How utterly uncivilised.

“They think it’s a pleasure to see me,” J said to Tara, who rolled her eyes almost instantly. 

You would never say it aloud, but you noticed the small smile she sent their way. So, she wasn’t as heartless as she wanted you to believe. Exactly like her older sister. It would be simple enough to chalk it down to their past experiences with the world; it had taught them nothing but hardness. But maybe they both just needed a safe space to let those walls come down.

“What did you choose?” Sam asked. She very quickly made her way to the couch opposite Tara and J.

“Depends,” they said.

“On?” Sam asked.

J turned to look at you and held something up to their mouth. “What’s your favourite scary movie?” The voice came out almost robotic, sounding similar to… something you possibly recognised? Vaguely?

“That’s not funny,” Sam said quickly.

“Lighten up, Sam,” Tara said even though she pushed J’s hand - and the voice changer - into their lap. “We’re watching Hellraiser.”

“Thought you didn’t like that one,” Sam said. She reached over and grabbed your hand the moment you sat down beside her on the couch.

Tara’s eyes darted to where your hands were joined and lingered. “I don’t.” She looked back up at you with a hard gaze. “I picked it out just for you.”

“Oh,” you said, perking up instantly. “Thank you.”

You turned to look at Sam with a stupid smile on your face, missing the look J sent Tara. Well, this was turning into a lovely evening! Tara had picked out a movie just for you! Surely that was progress to the finest degree, was it not? If all it took was watching a movie with them every month, you were more than happy to do so. This was turning out to be a rather lovely evening.

At least you thought so until the movie started and you realised just exactly why Tara had picked the movie out just for you.

It was… well, it was a movie. Filled with hooks and needles and… blood. Oh gosh, so much blood. There was a singular blessing amongst it all; you hadn’t eaten before coming over. Thankfully the popcorn sat untouched between you and Sam as your stomach twisted and turned and tried its best to embarrass you.

Sam squeezed your hand as you did your best to keep your cool. Not that it was such an easy thing with all the… you couldn’t even think the word without feeling queasy. Surely there was no way they all enjoyed this kind of thing, right? It was grotesque! The creatures on the screen, the inhumanity of it all, how was it an enjoyable movie?

The room started to shrink around you. Oh, that wasn’t good, you didn’t want to feel claustrophobic, you were trying to be tough. You couldn’t let anyone know that you had an, um, aversion to blood. What would they say? They were all horror fans, how could you ever possibly mention that you just… didn’t enjoy it? Quite frankly, it made you sick to your stomach, like all those science experiments you had to do back in grade school.

The credits couldn’t have rolled a moment too soon. If anyone were to ask you what you thought, you wouldn’t have been able to answer. The only thing you were aware of was your heart beating loudly in your ear and the saliva that continued to fill your mouth. Maybe it would actually be better if you didn’t try to answer anyone for a few more moments.

“So, Professor,” Tara asked all too soon. “What did you think?”

“I-”

-You cut yourself short. There was a part, a rather significant part of your mind that said you should lie. Tell Tara it was a wonderful movie, and you would love to see more if it existed. But lying had never gotten you anywhere in the past, had it? It certainly wasn’t going to assist you in winning over Tara, not when she was already sceptical of you. How was a lie going to assist you?

It wasn’t. 

“It’s not my cup of tea,” you finally said before swallowing the remaining saliva in your mouth. “I don’t really enjoy scary movies.” You nodded to yourself. “Or blood.”

“Oh my god,” Tara huffed, “why can’t you just lose your shit about something?”

“Tara,” Sam warned.

“No, this is ridiculous,” she continued as she stood up from the couch, ignoring J reaching for her hand. “Why can’t you lose your shit?” She pointed at you. “Nobody is this level-headed about everything.”

“That’s enough,” Sam said as she followed suit, standing up from the couch. Similarly, you reached out for her hand but she moved just far enough away.

“Get out,” Tara said before promptly looking Sam dead in the eyes.

“Excuse me?” Sam asked.

“Get out,” she repeated.

“Hey, T-”

“-You too,” Tara interrupted J, who froze with a comically shocked expression on their face. “Both of you get out so I can talk to them-” she pointed at you “-alone.”

“Absolutely not-”

“-Sounds reasonable,” you interrupted Sam. She looked at you like you had grown a second head. “I would love to talk.”

“Come on, Baby Ghost,” J said as they stood up. You were starting to feel left out by being the only one still sitting. “I’ll buy you a new pack of cigs.”

Sam looked like she wanted to argue, but both you and Tara gave her a look. Differing looks, of course, but still. While Tara seemed to get her a death stare that was almost permanently etched onto her face, you tried to go the more convincing route. If Tara wanted to talk, who were you to tell her no? Talking was key, that’s what your family had always done and it had never ended poorly.

“Fine,” Sam finally said. She seemed resigned. “But you have 15 minutes and that’s it.”

“Deal,” Tara said. “Now get out.”

You stayed as still as a statue when Sam leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips. A little more forceful than usual, but you wouldn’t complain. Any kiss from her was perfect. A sigh came from behind her, and you both knew who it was from, but she took her time before pulling away and standing back up.

“Don’t let her bully you,” she said.

“Sam,” Tara said forcefully. “Get out.”

“Fine,” Sam said, throwing her hands up. “But I mean it,” she said as she and J walked to the door together. “15 minutes.”

You and Tara both watched your partners leave the apartment, practically abandoning you to the force of nature that was the youngest Carpenter sister. It shamed you to admit you were a little afraid of her. You knew there was something going on deep down that she either wouldn’t or couldn’t accept, and you wouldn’t dare fault her for it. But she let her internal frustrations out in a very external way.

“What’s wrong with you?” Tara asked the moment the door shut behind the two. You stayed silent. “You don’t yell, you don’t scream, you don’t even freak out when I put on a movie I knew you would hate.”

You waited a moment to make sure she was finished. “I was raised by two very… pacifistic parents,” you said, gesturing for her to sit on the couch opposite you. “We talked through our issues, we didn’t yell about them.”

Tara opened her mouth as if she was about to argue, or complain, or something. Slowly, her mouth closed and she pursed her lips. She kept looking at you, but slowly took a seat opposite you. There was something going on behind her eyes, you could see it, but you knew better than to question her just yet. Just like your mom had taught you; let them lead the conversation.

“I don’t trust you,” she said slowly. Her eyes stayed locked with yours. “You’re too understanding and too kind.” You stayed silent. “Sam only ever falls for freaks.”

“Didn’t she date an FBI agent?” You asked. You could vaguely remember what Sam had said about her, but she had seemed nice enough.

“Kirby is cool, I’ve always liked her,” Tara said with a dismissive shake of her head. “But she was attacked by Ghostface twice,” she said, “so she’s a freak by proxy.” She looked back at you. “So what’s your deal?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know,” you said, “ask your questions and maybe you can find out.”

It had initially been your idea, but before Tara could even open her mouth you started to second guess yourself. Perhaps allowing her to ask whatever questions she wanted without any repercussions was… not the smartest idea on your part. You had nothing to hide, but what if she really started to ask unusual questions? What if your answers weren’t what she wanted to hear?

But when you thought of Sam, and being with her, you felt that, without question, it was worth the gamble.

“Have you ever used a knife?” Tara asked quickly. It seemed she wasn’t going to wait.

“Not outside of cooking,” you answered just as quickly.

“How about a gun?” So, it would be a rapid fire interrogation. Game on.

“Never.”

“Ever hurt anybody before?” A tilt of her head.

“Not on purpose.”

“What about animals?”

“No.”

“Not even in science class?”

“I-” you attempted to clear your throat to buy a bit of time “-I fell ill that day.”

Tara paused and narrowed her eyes. “Because of blood.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” you said anyway. “It makes me sick to my stomach.”

“You’re pretty pathetic,” Tara said as she leaned back on the couch. For the first time in… well, ever, you thought you almost saw her smile at you. “That’s exactly Sam’s type.”

“I thought you said it was freaks,” you pointed out.

“Pathetic freaks,” she corrected quickly. That quirk near the corner of her mouth rapidly disappeared. “Why did you choose Sam?”

You paused. It was uncertain what exactly Sam had told Tara about you both meeting. Surely she wouldn’t have overdramatised it, but had she told her the truth? The truth was… well, it was pathetic as well, but you weren’t entirely convinced Tara would approve. Not that it was entirely her place, but the two were the only family each other had. They both had a right to be cautious of anyone new coming into their lives.

But perhaps you could answer the question a little differently.

“She’s kind,” you said with a subconscious nod of your head. “And bold, and intelligent - god she’s intelligent - and brave.” You averted Tara’s eyes. “And she’s really pretty too.”

Tara nodded once. “What are your intentions with her?”

Another question that you believed was potentially a trick. You couldn’t very well say you loved Sam just yet; you hadn’t even told Sam that little piece of information. But there were other intentions with her even if you didn’t necessarily use the word “love.” There were other things that were just as important.

“I don’t want to sound overly self-important,” you started off, looking back up to meet Tara’s eyes. “But I would very much like to be the one by Sam’s side as she continues on this path she’s created for herself.”

Tara looked at you; really looked at you. She was so very difficult for you to read. Unlike Sam, Tara did a better job at hiding her emotions. While Sam would give it away with her facial expressions, Tara did not. No, her feelings came out differently, whether in the slight twitch of her fingers or the impatient tapping of her foot on the rug. You hadn’t been around her long enough to know what exactly those feelings were, you simply acknowledged they were feelings.

“I’ll give you a chance,” Tara finally said, her voice far softer than you had ever heard. At least when it was directed at you. “But if you do anything to hurt her, or upset her, or lie to her, I won’t hesitate to kill you.” You gulped. “I’m not afraid to kill again.”

“I forgot you’ve both killed someone before,” you mumbled to yourself before speaking up louder. “Those are acceptable terms.”

“Good,” she said with a single nod of her head. “But don’t think this means I’ll go easy on you.”

You could both hear the other two finally approaching the door, bickering in a way that mimicked biological siblings.

“I would expect nothing less,” you told Tara as the door opened and the moment ended.

—---

The rest of the semester went by without incident. Tara had stayed true to her word and gave you a fair chance to prove that you could be trusted with her sister’s heart, and it wasn’t something you had taken lightly. You knew how important the both of them were to each other, and you had done your best to prove that not only did you care for Sam, but you cared for Tara too.

She had finally eased up during classes, allowing you to properly teach without an ounce of disdain for you personally. In fact, she had even dared to come to office hours on more than one occasion to discuss certain pieces you had offered as optional readings. The Carpenters were immensely intelligent, no matter what the subject matter was.

You and Sam had fallen into a rather comfortable routine, always going for a date night on Thursdays to whatever new place your colleagues had recommended, and movies with Tara and J on Saturdays. You would spend the night at her place Thursday through Monday morning, and she would stay at yours Monday through Thursday morning. It was comfortable, and you were more than content.

But with school finally over for the semester, you could focus on the real gem; Christmas.

Both Carpenters - and J, for that matter - had been nonchalant with their decorations. A minimal Charlie Brown tree that had, at most, four ornaments on it. It was awfully quaint, and if they hadn’t been so blase about it you would have been content to leave it standing. Nevertheless, they had made it clear they didn’t care if there were any decorations, and you had taken that as a cry for help.

Your own apartment had, of course, been decorated since the day after Thanksgiving. It was a wonderful gift from your mother, learning how to decorate for the holidays, and you weren’t keen on squandering the skills and letting them fall off the wagon, so to speak. Sam had made a few comments, though you hadn’t taken her for a non-believer.

“It’s okay, really,” Sam tried to say when you and J finished bringing in what had to have been the seventh box of decorations from your apartment.

“Oh no, I insist,” you said with a smile. “Besides, my mother would be downright dismayed if she knew the decorations were sitting in my apartment unused.”

“Great,” Tara mumbled as she walked by without even offering to help, “we get to live at the North Pole.”

“Isn’t it exciting?” You said with a smile. “These are more neutral, so you shouldn’t feel too out of place, but they still embody the holiday spirit.”

“Well I think it’ll be fun,” J said with their own smile. “Do I get to hang the ornaments?”

“Why-”

“-the ornaments won’t be the only thing hanging this Christmas,” Tara said, tossing a mini marshmallow into the air and catching it in her mouth. “Especially with those blinding lights.”

You looked down at the ones in your hand and frowned. “I thought they were rather tame.”

“And they’re lovely,” Sam tried to cover, even though you could see the fake smile she had on her face. “You’re doing great,” she continued as she left a simple kiss on your cheek.

The decorating ended up being a one person job, you quickly realised when you discovered J could not, for the life of them, listen to instructions. More than once, the lights had been blown and you had to find the faulty one to fix it. Normally you would chalk it down to bad luck, but when it was only the ones that they were installing? You became a little suspicious.

At least they were all eager to help with the snacks and desserts, and that was something you could live with. Surprisingly, Tara was the one who had the most ideas. You knew you weren’t the best cook; you could follow instructions but that didn’t necessarily mean they would turn out nice. But with Tara at the helm? They were almost as good as your mother’s! Though obviously you would never dare to tell her that.

You also rather quickly discovered that they were not gift giving people. Understandable, you supposed, they had much more important things to worry about in life. It was still unacceptable. The moment you had found out, you had called your parents and told them the tragic news.

Gifts for all three of them - plus a gift each for Mindy, Chad, and Anika - had been delivered to your house within the week. Express shipping to be certain they would arrive before Christmas.

Which led to yet another tragedy; they had no stockings.

“It’s really not worth buying,” Sam attempted to persuade you over the phone on one of the rare nights you two weren’t spending together. “Just stay home tonight.”

“It’s no trouble, Sam,” you argued. “I’m heading out for a bit anyway.”

You didn’t admit you were already at the store, trying to decide which one would fit each person best.

“Just stay safe,” she said. You could hear car horns in the background but thought nothing of it. “I mean it.”

“I’ll be safe,” you insisted, “I always am.”

“Call me when you’re back home,” she said.

“Yes ma’am,” you said with a smile that she couldn’t see.

She hung up first, and you continued your search without any second thoughts. In the end, you had decided on a Santa stocking for J, a reindeer for Tara, and a snowman for Sam. They would look lovely hanging underneath the mounted television in their living room. But with the stockings, you needed things to fill them with.

Santa’s work was never finished.

It was dark by the time you finished buying everything you believed you needed. Stockings, fillers, and some snacks to make for a lovely evening. That should surely be enough to give the three of them a very merry Christmas, would it not? Your mother had already sent their Santa presents, and their other presents were underneath the tree, so as far as you were aware of at the moment, everything was taken care of.

You were still going over your mental checklist when you heard a commotion down one of the alleys on the way home. Every cell in your body told you not to bother looking; people got desperate around the holidays and it would do you no good to go poking your head where it didn’t belong. But if someone was getting hurt, then you needed to attempt to help.

Or at least make enough of a scene that someone else would come help.

“Excuse me?” You called out foolishly as you started down the dark alleyway. “Is everyone alright out there?”

You pulled your coat tighter around you as you continued walking. It hadn’t been raining or snowing recently, and yet something started to soak through your shoes and socks. The shocking cold that normally came from liquids in December wasn’t present; it was warm.

There was another noise. It almost sounded like something solid, but it was overshadowed by something metallic. You did your best to see something in the dark, even as your body continued to tell you to move along. But something didn’t feel right; you were feeling queasy again.

Something hissed in front of you, but it wasn’t a snake. No, you knew what those sounded like and this wasn’t even close. This sounded much more human, though that sound would only ever really happen in dire circumstances like if-

-a large white mask faced you. It was the only thing you could see in the dark, thanks to the lights behind you causing just enough radiance to make the mask almost seem luminescent. You weren’t a movie buff, especially not scary movies, but you weren’t stupid. Everyone knew what that mask was.

Ghostface.

All those cells that had been telling you to run? They were silent. Frozen in fear, just like your mind. The killer wasn’t moving toward you, simply facing you, almost as if it was the very reason you were stationary. Which, it was, but not in the typical way that most would be privy to. You felt like a deer in headlights, and if you moved then you died.

You supposed that was how all the movies went.

“Aren’t you going to run?” Ghostface asked, in that same voicebox that J had had during the movie night.

You swallowed the saliva filling your mouth. “No,” you said in a trembling voice.

“Why not?” He continued. “I like when they run.”

“I’m not very fast,” you said. “You’ll catch me before I get to the street.”

He still didn’t move, and your eyes finally adjusted enough to see the silhouette of a body slumped at his feet. Your throat constricted at the sight; you were going to be sick. The very image started to worm its way into your brain; there was a very simple explanation for what was still soaking through your socks. It wasn’t snow.

���You should get home, Professor,” Ghostface said.

You nodded, even though you weren’t sure if he could see you. “Yes I should.”

“Stay on the sidewalk next time,” he said.

“I- I believe that’s sound advice,” you said with more frantic nods of your head. Your palms were starting to get clammy.

Ghostface lifted up a hand - holding a knife - and waved. “Good night, Professor.”

“Good night,” you said with your own shaky wave.

You walked backwards out of the alley, keeping an eye on the figure until it was completely out of sight. Your feet were frozen on the ground once you were under a street light. There were no more sounds coming from the alley, not even the sound of someone leaving. Wherever Ghostface had gone, he hadn’t followed you.

In an incredibly brave moment, you leaned over and vomited directly into a storm grate before going back home. You called Sam the moment you got back into your apartment.

You couldn’t find the courage to inform her of the night’s mystery encounter.

[chalksoul]

As someone that celebrated christmas/yule in Gävle most my life I always cheer for both the defence and crime teams. But this year the Goat must go down for a simple reason.

Boring as fuck defence. Nothing new. No armoured knights. Nothing fun. They could at least give the guards silly hats or something.

(fun fact, if you spend a lot of time as a teen in Gävle you can't fathom how many dudes are implying that they *might* be one of the arsonists that got away when hitting on you)

[traegorn]

Hey-o! Tis the season for people to talk about how the holidays were "actually pagan" and I'm on the hunt for sources about how that's really not the case, if you have any you'd recommend!

Okay, so the problem is there are so many weird "Christmas is stolen!" bullshit memes going around, it's so hard to just give you a comprehensive list of sources. Christmas celebrations have evolved as the religion has spread, and different things come from different times...

The key here is to go for academic sources. This is a question of history, and a well supported historical research is going to tell you whether they're operating from primary, secondary or tertiary sources.

So while I can't give you a simple list, let me give you a couple of examples off the top of my head and give you tips on how to investigate any the dumb claims that get passed around.

Christmas being in December: So a lot of people go for the "Christmas is in December so it can steal from [INSERT SOLSTICE CELBRATION]" is ahistorical... because we know exactly why Christmas is in December. Because the guys who made the decision argued with each other and left behind written documentation. The two big names you need to look up are  Clement of Alexandria (who pitched January 6th) and Hippolytus of Rome (who proposed December 25th). This is around the turn of the third century, and you can find both of their writings. Some folks have questioned the authenticity of some of Hippolytus of Rome's writings, but Clement of Alexandria's seem well supported. These were internal arguments about when the birth of Christ took place within the early church, and when they settled on late December. There are reasons for this, and you can read their arguments (it largely has to do with the importance of when Jesus was conceived -- they wanted that to be an important date and then added nine months to it). Importantly though, because linear time is a thing, this means Christmas was set in December before the Christianization of the Germanic and Norse tribes... so anyone who says Christmas was set to December to correspond with Yule doesn't understand the concept of "coincidences."

The Christmas Tree: The Christmas tree was invented in 16th century Germany. That's... that's just written down all over the place. Now, there are legends about Martin Luther being the first who did it -- but I'm pretty certain that's just an embellishment that got added on. There are preceding traditions where part of an evergreen was brought into the home as a part of solstice traditions (though some will claim the Egyptians did this? Which is wild -- likely misinterpreting their use of palm fronds as the same thing), but the act of taking a whole ass tree, cutting it down, putting it in your house, and decorating it? That's 16th century Germany all the way. You can rabbit hole so many sources on that one, but honestly just pick apart the citations on the Wikipedia page. Putting a branch in your house and dragging a whole tree in are very different acts.

Jesus's story is copied from [INSERT RANDOM GOD]: There are so many of these, and some are just downright disrespectful to major world religions (the Krishna version of the meme especially). The answer is... just see if what the meme is saying about the god is supported by the mythology. Like I've seen ones that says Dionysus was "born of a virgin." If you know anything about the Greek gods, you're probably already laughing on the floor. Horus gets dragged into this too, because Gerald Massey was trying to pull a "White Goddess but with Dudes." But any serious research on Horus will tell you the supposed parallels aren't supported by the mythology.

So sorry, this wasn't so much sources you can use as it is how to look for them to begin with. Because there's just so, so much. This isn't even covering cases of syncretism, where pre-existing cultural traditions got continued post-Christianization. Because it's almost always the case that if a pre-Christian practice endured post Christianization, it's because people decided to keep doing it -- not because the church was trying to "steal" it. The latter means there was some mustache twirling plan behind it, when the former means (usually) the church went "Well, they're paying their tithes and saying it's for Jesus, so who gives a shit?"

I'm just going to finish this off with linking to my podcast episode on this, along with Ocean Keltoi's great Yule video on the topic. Hopefully that helps.

[greenerteacups]

I'm on my nth re-read of books 1-4, and I keep finding new things to be delighted by, on top of the old reliable lines that make me giggle every time. Like in book 4:

“Yeah,” said Harry, whose success had overdosed him with optimism. “Hey, think about this: you reckon I can just Banish the water and walk down?”

“Oh, bless, he thinks he’s Moses.”

How does (presumably pagan-ish or non-religious based on holiday celebrations) Draco know about Moses? Does he think Moses is a wizard??? I mean... he DID accomplish several miracles with a big stick. Any of the implications here make me cackle

Oh this is awesome, I've been wanting to talk about this for ages: I think wizards know what the Bible is! And Christianity, and Judaism and Islam, and I think there are practicing members of all of those religions (and more!) in the Wizarding World. Here's why.

The Bible (Old Testament specifically — Draco's references lean towards the OT because that's the broader cultural referent, it's the common glue of the Bible/Quran/Torah and if wizards know any Abrahamic text, it's that) is a huge, ubiquitous, world-shaping cultural text that was thousands of years old before the International Statute of Secrecy. The date of 1692 for the SOS means that any muggle culture before the 17th century is fair game, even if it's not accepted by wizards. So that's why I think atheist/agnostic/pagan wizards should still have at least referential familiarity with it.

The fact that wizards celebrate Christmas (NOT Yule, although obviously in Lionheart they do both) tells me that there is at least vestigial religious belief in the population. Expressions like "Merlin" in place of "God" tells me that wizards probably have a different relationship with it — Merlin's generally treated as a kind of prophet? — which is giving "splinter sect of Christianity defined by the emergence of Merlin as a separate prophet for wizards," but I'm not gonna spiral too far into that headcanon, because this is a lore analysis post. But that's my working idea, here.

The first-order response to the "what about magic?" problem is: Not everything that happens in the Bible can be explained by the Harry Potter magic system. Water into wine, sure. Resurrection? Impossible, as far as 99% of wizards know. Harry Potter is the only person we know of to be fully resurrected, and even he's never technically full-dead. Moses parting the Red Sea? I mean, we can imagine spells that would do it, but think about how much water is in the fucking sea! We don't see anything of nearly that scope happen in the series. And what about manna? We know for a fact that you can't use magic to make food!

But let's sidebar that, and drill down on what you can explain. Water into wine. Curing the sick. Okay, cool. There's still a big difference between "established in-universe ability that has been ritualized and turned into technology" and "literal miracles." Walk on water? Sure, you could probably perform a spell for that. But does Jesus? Do we know, for a fact, that he had a wand, or that he cast a spell? Had the spell for that been invented yet? Are you even sure he was a wizard? Can we prove it? Moreover, would it matter?

This leads me to my bigger point about the nature of religious belief: if you believe the dude's divine, having magic doesn't change anything, right? Because he's still the son of God. Christians don't believe Jesus was divine because he performed the miracles; they believe he was divine and so performed the miracles. There are many different IRL-theological stances on how much of the supernatural stuff in the Bible "actually happened," and you can be a skeptic about the scientific facets while still subscribing to its broader philosophical and religious claims about God.

Even if you take Jesus and other Abrahamic characters out of the question, there's still a place for religion in wizarding society, because of the afterlife. With the exception of ghosts (who by their account have never been fully "dead," and so don't know it) and inferi, the relation between the wizarding world and the afterlife is a one-way conduit. That means there's still plenty of room for wizards to adopt religious beliefs specifically about the afterlife, and religion would still play a social role in defining how people approached those topics.

Finally, the pagan elements of the Harry Potter series read less to me as an espousal of sincere religious conviction and more as a ritualistic vestige of prehistorical magical practices. Since the universe's magic draws heavily on pagan ceremonies — especially in the realm of potions/herbology/magical creatures — ironically, I can't imagine paganism as a religion in the universe of Harry Potter. Like, it's just straight-up true! It would be like starting a religion around meteorology, or chemistry. There's no element of mystery or divinity involved for faith and belief to fill in the gaps; you know how magic works, and you can be good at it.

What JKR did with the magic system — apparently on accident — was to textually validate huge volumes of pagan practice without invoking any of the associated spiritual or religious beliefs. And since we live for seven years in the mind of a competent, practicing wizard who does tons of magic without seeming to believe in any particular god at all, I have to infer that you don't need to. Rowling has, again, likely not on purpose, built a universe whose central conceit is: "what if the pagans were just straight-up right?" and revealed the answer to be: "well, then it wouldn't be paganism anymore."

[swankifyed]

🔥🐐IMPORTANT NEWS EVERYONE: the 2022 inauguration of Gävlebocken will take place on November 27th, 16.00 Swedish time, and the construction will begin 12.00 on October 15th. Barring any outside interference he will stand in his place until the end of New Year's Day. Plan your betting pools accordingly.

The location has changed to Rådhustorget this year due to construction work, which will be the first time ever where he won't be at Slottstorget. The goat will stand in a 25m x 25m area adjacent to a 2.5m x 2.5m booth for the security guards. There will be a double gärdsgård fence, but no specifics beyond that are made public "due to security reasons". We can also assume that there will be video surveillance.

The longest survival streak (4 years) was broken last year when Gävlebocken burned down in the early morning of December 17th, 19 days after his inauguration:

For those new to this, Gävlebocken ("The Gävle Goat") is a 13m tall Yule goat made of straw in Gävle, Sweden, that is built as part of the city's annual Christmas celebrations. He is famous for repeatedly being destroyed, to the point of some considering the destruction an integral part of the tradition. Gävlebocken has been completely destroyed 38 out of his 56 years, despite increased security measures and it being a crime punishable with jail time (the conviction for the 2021 arson was six months in jail and a fine).

Gävlebocken also has a little brother, built by Vasaskolan's Science Club, called Lillbocken ("The Little Goat") who is smaller (1.5m tall) and not as well known but also very often sabotaged.

I really recommend reading the entire timeline section of the wiki page, its pure gold, but some of my personal favourites are: some dude stole the enormous goat and put it in his backyard (1973), an American burned the goat thinking it was legal due to how often it happened and spent 18 days in jail (2001), two people dressed as Santa and a gingerbread man burned the goat either by firing flaming arrows or throwing torches (2005), someone tried to bribe a guard with 50k SEK to leave his post early so they could steal the goat with a helicopter and fly him to Stureplan in Stockholm the same year as other guards reported being approached by a "mysterious German-speaking man that was perversely interested in the goat" who told them of his detailed ideas of how to make the goat burn down quickly (2010).

Webcam (comes online after the inauguration): https://visitgavle.se/en/gavlebocken

Official twitter account: https://twitter.com/gavlebocken

Official instagram account: https://instagram.com/gavlebocken

Youtube channel of Gävle city (will stream the inauguration): https://youtube.com/user/sharegavle

[one-coming-is-enough]

I wanna hear about your beef with Mr. Claus, if you don't mind.

I've been sleeping on this ask for a minute, and it's time, honestly. I've had such a busy holiday season already, it's crazy! I mean, this year in addition to all the zombies, I'm trying to get through the training videos for taking over Hell, and they're meandering, awkward, and full of incoherent jargon. It's just a lot!

But the 6th was St. Nicholas's Day, and tonight it's Hanukkah, so I should definitely answer this one.

St. Nicholas is a decent guy, if a little stiff-necked. His thing is giving dowries to poor women so they don't have to go into sex work. And also bringing poor children back to life after they're sold for stew meat.

(Also, he was the one who proposed at the Council of Nicea that Easter be celebrated on the first full moon after the spring equinox, which tied it to the solar calendar instead of the lunar calendar. Granted, this was to reduce the Jewish influence on the religion, but it also made it easier for Me to celebrate Passover, and I really like Passover.)

So St. Nicholas Day ends up being a day where, instead of finding the nearest whore and offering to fund her marriage (sex work is work), you give money and presents to children. You can see the connection, yeah? Make sure kids have what they need growing up and they won't go hoing to make ends meet. Or have to be made into stew.

Meanwhile, we have this spirit over in the East called Ded Moroz, or Grandpa Frost. He's just, like, an old guy who freezes stuff. He'll take your kids if they wander out in the cold like you told the little bastards not to do.

And because of cultural drift, the duties of Ded Moroz get shifted over to Odin, another dude from the East. Originated somewhere between the steppes of Mongolia and Turkey, as far as anyone knows, finally made his way to Sweden and even the British Isles. Odin is now the Yulefather, the freezer of water and collector of the dead in the dying part of the year. Makes sense, because He's a wind god, since air is the element connected with Spirit at this time. (This is true for Hebrew and Latin, too! Pneuma and ru'ach.)

Well, the church doesn't like that Ded Moroz is a spooky guy who takes souls, decides he's a demon. But people like their Ded Moroz a lot. So now, instead of being a demon who takes souls, he's... Well, who do we have that's also from the East, Turkey specifically, and who is associated with giving or taking something, especially regarding children?

We have St. Nicholas! Who gives children presents instead of taking their souls, and coincidentally can calm the storm (of wind) that so often takes the souls of those lost outside in the cold. And his holiday is just under 20 days before Yule Xmas it's Christmas now. (Or, Yuletide. You know, whatever. Sheol is Hades now, who gives a shit.)

So it all gets kinda muddled up. Odin, St. Nick, Ded Moroz. Father Frost, Father Solstice, Father Christmas.

Well, I'm hanging out in the Holy Roman Empire, and I hear about this guy known as Sinterklaas. I think it's my old buddy and trusted employee Nicholas of Myra, who as far as I know has been buying, freeing, and funding the education and/or startups of slaves for as long as that's been possible. (He has six to eight African guys he ended up hiring on as assistants.) And I hear he's giving out not just coins and oranges, which prevent scurvy, but also toys and candy. And Nicholas of Myra is a good man, but he had zero sense of humor or fun and would never give a kid candy ("it rots your teeth, at least have an orange").

So I track down this Klaus, whom the kids also call Kris Kringle. I hear the kids have been doing all sorts of weird rituals to him, like the Spanish Yule log that shits candy, or the little pooping guy they hide in the Nativity scene (also Spanish, now that I think about it. What the fuck did the Inquisition do to people's brains over there?). And that he has a creepy BDSM goat called the Krampus for an assistant, who's in charge of dealing out the punishment to bad kids (that one's German and I thought it was just, like, the nation's id or something).

And he's smol. I mean, this guy is fucking Thumbelina sized. Roughly round, jolly as fuck, red fur trimmed in white, pointy toque beanie to match, and a miniature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer. Telltale pointed ears. Sparkling all over like they do.

Eight transmuted beings. Sleipnir (Dasher), Shiva and Baal Marquad (Dancer, Prancer), a kitsune (Vixen), a fallen star (Comet), Eros Himself (Cupid), and Thunder and Lightning -- Thor and Loki. Donner and Blitzen.

It's an entire Neil Gaiman novella of folks who've, I dunno, lost some kind of bet to him.

Okay. So he's one of The Neighbors. Gotta be careful.

I greet him like he's my old buddy Nicholas. I ask him how the soul collection is going and ask to see his inventory. He demurs, but I remind him that I'm his boss and they'll all come to Me eventually anyway. I just want to see if I think he ought to put any back. Oh, and can I just scan your company badge so I can establish that you made your check-in?

Well, I'm bluffing really hard, but he doesn't know that. He says he lost it. I tell him I'll wait with the souls until he gets back -- actually, whoa, looks like he's got a full load there. I'll take them in Myself.

That's when he laughs and says, "Well, Jesus, looks like You caught Me fair and square tonight. But how's about you and I make a deal? I'll spread Your Word and tell children to be good. And I will tell them to give to others all year round, because that's the spirit of Christmas. If they are good all year round, doing what their parents say, I will give them presents. If they are not good all year round -- which is to say, they don't do what their parents tell them to earn Christmas presents -- I will not give them presents. Fair?"

Note the wording carefully. Note where there's an and, and where there's not an and.

This works for a while. And then this song comes out.

Something seems wrong if kids are getting Santa presents according to the wealth of their parents, not their goodness over the year.

Then I find out that the primary metric by which Santa distributes presents is no longer behavior, but belief.

Not in Me.

In SANTA CLAUS.

I storm into his North Pole office yelling idolatry and he's got a fucking elven lawyer underlining shit. He didn't convert. He only promised to encourage charity. He didn't promise presents for charity, it's just for kids doing what their parents say they need to in order to get gifts, and right now that's belief in him.

I'm fucking steamed and he points out that I do exactly the same thing. Instead of doing good works or seeing the Divine in others regardless of social status or even fighting for equality here on Earth, Heaven has gotten twisted around to the point where believing in Me alone -- not what I stand for, which at this point can be nearly anything, but just the idea that I existed and did the Thing -- is considered sufficient acceptance criteria.

And I can't argue with that but I hate it. I hate that it's come to that. I hate what My section of Heaven looks like these days. I personally have been pleading for them to enact stringent, clearer, and above all objective metrics of entry, but I'm outnumbered in My own 5D connected consciousness in that opinion!!!

So. Fuck that guy. I'd literally rather you just worship Odin for Yule flat-out than fuck with Santa Claus, because at least He has solid advice for living and a comprehensive afterlife system.

I don't know what Santa Claus is doing with all that belief except get bigger, and it really scares Me.

[pumibii]

hey guys happy yule (dec. 21 - jan. 1)

uhhh if there’s any pagans or wiccans or general witches or anyone else who celebrates yule, i hope you have a wonderful solstice and remember to thank nature for all you have taken from it this year!

that is all

blessed be, my dudes

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Ok SO I'm still not over my brainrot about a Vikings modern au about the Lothbrok fam inviting an unsuspecting Athelstan to their cabin in the mountains for the winter holidays and all kinds of antics ensue, BUT I want to kind of base it off the storyline of season 1, only in a much more lighthearted modernized way if that makes sense?? So nobody dies etc, but it's got these easter eggs that are sort of tongue in cheek references to what happens in the show idk i thought that would be fun.

It's in super early stages I haven't even started to draft yet, and it probably will take a while because I am Slow, but so far here are my ideas:

-Harraldson is Ragnar's boss, but in whatever place he works it looks like he'll probably end up in that position bc H is Losing Favour - Athelstan is Bjorn and Gyda's babysitter, but he's been slowly getting closer to the family - They have a cabin in Norway that belonged to Ragnar's parents (and it's REALLY cozy) -Athelstan has been obsessively studying Norwegian in practice for visiting them, but they all just speak English around him so he ends up not having to use it (and this stresses him out because they Shouldn't Be Doing Anything For Him) -He's a former foster kid who's now in university, he has a variety of Traumas that he never talks about -Yes, Ragnar and Lagertha invite him into their bed on his first night visiting them -They celebrate "Christmas" but like in a secular way and the longer Athelstan stays with him the more he realizes it's actually pretty much a modernized version of pagan Yule -First time trying alcohol is at the cabin and entirely Ragnar's fault -At New Year's they have a big party with a bunch of side characters and *somebody* slips Athelstan shrooms -Ragnar is obsessed with the idea of cutting down a tree out in the woods to use as a Christmas tree & makes Athelstan go along with him -(this leads to a tree almost falling on Ragnar and Athelstan panicking. Ragnar thinks it's hilarious.) -Ragnar and Lagertha go into town at one point and think it'll be fine to leave him with the kids. It is, but he tries to make a pie to get them involved in something and almost burns down the kitchen (almost) -Floki is a dude who lives permanently out in the mountains with his hippie girlfriend, nobody knows what he does for a living or how he ended up there, and nobody asks

Anyway. I'm slowly building this up and slowly losing my mind along the way. And hey, if anyone has ideas for this au feel free to add & I might just throw them in

[marshmallow--3]

Can I make holiday shortbread cookies in the shape of jumpers and decorate em up for each handsome Marvel dude depending on what it is they're celebrating

Moon Boys, Hanukkah

Thor, Yule

Matt Murdock, Christmas

Sigh, just gonna make one in the shape of mistletoe and hold it above Yelena's head 🥰 oh boy this post got sidetracked quickly, fuck me she's so gorgeous

Please, mommy

...

...

Kink unlocked

[radioromantic-moved]

drabblecember: decorating

welcome to the‏‏‎ ‎Stellar‏‏‎ ‎Firma‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎Holiday‏‏‎ ‎Episode :) this one is not suuuper romantic until the very very end it's mostly about the found family of it all. and of course the autism (cyril). set relatively soon after the end of season 3

‏‏‎

The‏‏‎ ‎Galactonium‏‏‎ ‎palace entrance hall is decked in lights of every color. Tinsel adorns the staircases, candles are placed on every surface, and a giant ice sculpture of a pine tree stands majestically in a corner. Smaller sculptures are scattered around the room. A bowl of tangerines and a bowl of chestnuts sit on top of a chest of drawers, and behind them is a cylindrical chocolate cake and a plate of potato pancakes.

Cyril‏‏‎ ‎spins around. “Here it is!” they announce, exhausted--looking but positively beaming with pride. “This is my first real winter season on a planet with real temperature changes and actual weather, so I‘ve made an attempt to recreate the traditions and decorations of as many old Earth holidays as I could find! To celebrate! The tree isn’t supposed to be made of ice, but I, um, couldn’t cut down a real tree. And all of them were the wrong kind anyway.‏‏‎ ‎Bathin helped source the sculptures.”

David blinks. “Wow. This is…wow. Did you make that cake yourself?”

Cyril laughs almost violently, before clearing their throat. “No. No, I…tried. But that cake was made by a professional chef. It’s called a yule log, but there’s no wood in that one. Sawdust is not edible.”

“Says you,” mutters‏‏‎ ‎Trexel.

 “A lot of old Earth holidays prioritized light, warmth and family in the winter months,” says Cyril as words scroll past their vision on the screen of their glasses. “It’s understandable. Winter was also the most common season for a mental health condition known as seasonal affective disorder, which would naturally increase feelings of loneliness and depression. I imagine celebrating a light-based holiday with family could lessen those feelings to some degree. Though this is all mostly hypothetical.”

“I do like the lights,” David offers. “They’re…well, they are artificial, but not in a harsh way.”

“Right? That’s exactly what I thought!” says Cyril excitedly.

“It’s very you, Cyril,” says‏‏‎ ‎Hartro, in a tone of voice that sounds genuine but still makes Cyril pause to puzzle out if it’s an insult.

‏‏‎ ‎Trexel looks at a sculpture of a large, goat-like person with twisted horns and a devious expression. “This guy looks fun.”

“That’s Krampus,” Cyril explains. “He’s like the enemy of this other guy, Santa Claus, and every year they have a battle to see if Krampus gets banished to the underworld again or if he gets to wreak havoc on the living world and kidnap bad children to take to his lair.” They clear their throat. “That might not be entirely accurate, but it was the plot of a really cool movie I saw.”

Trexel‏‏‎ ‎cocks his head to the side. “You said this is a holiday about family. What about people who don’t…have those? Because their parents died or went missing or were philistines who didn’t understand their child’s tortured genius? Or…something.”

“Well, yeah, not everyone celebrates with family,” says Cyril. They look a little flustered all of a sudden. “It can be a celebration of friendship, too. Kind of like, um…kind of like how I wanted to celebrate our friendship.”

“Wait, you did this all for us?” David asks, caught off guard.

“I mean, I did it to pay homage to a group of historically significant cultures, but y--yes, I also did it for you guys. Pfft. Obviously.” Cyril rolls their eyes. They’re smiling, though.

“Awwwww,” cooes‏‏‎ ‎Hartro. “You big softie.” 

She sweeps Cyril up in a hug, which Trexel immediately barrels into the middle of. After a second of hesitation, David joins in.

“Holiday intimacy detected,” chimes in Imogen, from a handheld port David has set up for her. “Sappiness levels nearly critical.”

“Come on, dude, I’m being vulnerable here,” protests Cyril.

“I should go get‏‏‎ ‎Bathin,” David says, disentangling themself from the hug. “I’m sure he’ll want to see the final product of all this!”

“Also, you two can’t go more than fifteen minutes without gazing into each other’s eyes,”‏‏‎ ‎Hartro deadpans.

David sputters. “Wh--I--you’re just jealous.”

Hartro‏‏‎ ‎scoffs (but doesn’t deny it).

“Cyril! What’s this thing?” calls‏‏‎ ‎Trexel.

“What thing?” they ask, wandering over.

“That spiky plant up there,”‏‏‎ ‎Trexel‏‏‎ ‎says, pointing upwards to a spring of something tied above a doorway.

“Oh! That’s mistletoe. It represents…hold on, let me check.” Cyril switches on their glasses and reads a few lines before stopping dead. They look at the plant again, and then look at who they are standing under it with.

“It’s! Just decoration! Nothing else. That’s it.” They rub their glasses on their jacket furiously. 

“Your face looks red.”

“IT’S HOT IN HERE ALL OF A SUDDEN, I GUESS.”

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

🌲 👪 💫 for Tyler

🌲  : Does your muse celebrate Christmas? If they don’t, what and how else do they celebrate during the holidays?

"It’s ingrained in me despite being such a horrible appropriation of ancient Pagan rites. The fam, may their conservative hearts suffer, really goes ham on Christmas. They go to the big mega church and everything. They’re super doomsday preppers and shit but then they go and hang out with the homies at the concert mega-church. I’d rather blast my brains out than go to another one of those fucking god concerts. So I just... ignore all their calls on Christmas. They deadname me lol, they don’t want to accept me as their son, so! I’m not their son anymore. It really pisses them off, but they pissed ME off.”

👪 : Do they spend the holiday alone or with others?

“I have no real life friends. But! I hang out with the guys on my Discord server and we watch shitty Christmas movies until four am, it’s great. Wish I had someone I could just... you know... spend time with in real life... a wolf gets lonely without a pack, man!”

💫  : If your muse has powers, do they utilize these abilities into the festive season? How?

“Man i WISH i had powers dude. When I shift into my true form, I like to commune with nature and really get in touch with the natural world. Yule is about feasting and spending time with family... so I spend time with the natural world! Since they are more of a family than my real family will ever be.”

[lord-of-the-weird]

(2/2) My favorite color would probably be coral. I don't like Christmas, but I'll celebrate with my family some years. My friends and I always get together to celebrate Yule, which is much better, I think! Both of those same questions back at you! And if you have songs from the Kinks or Mott the Hopple, I would love them. I don't know a single song from either.

oh that’s a nice color

this is my favorite color!!! i also love black,red and green

yea christmas isn’t my favorite either but i do celebrate

the kinks: waterloo sunset is my favorite, lola and sunny afternoon are really good

mott the hoople: thunderbuck ram, the golden age of rock n roll and all the young dudes

(all the young dudes was written by bowie!)

i meant to tell you in the last set of asks you can start a new paragraph you can send it all in ask!

i don’t mind answering multiple ask just thought i’d let you know!

do you like movies? or shows? if so what’s your favorites?

[freeoftheground]

Well folks, after making it through 4 Christmas seasons without incident, the odds were no longer in the Gavle Goat's favour. On Friday evening, after more than one attempt by drunk holiday goers trying to set it on fire, Gävlebocken had it's chestnuts roasted for the 38th time. Despite the fuss by the local and international media, a grand total of nobody was surprised to see it go.

As per usual, various officials from Gavle and elsewhere in Sweden made official statements about how sad and angry they are about their beautiful Yule Goat getting burned down. However, one Journalist isn't exactly buying what they had to say:

But come on. At this point in time, the Gävle Goat is more famous for being burned down than it is for being left intact. And the authorities certainly aren’t afraid of, shall we say, playing with fire. An official Twitter account for the goat has been practically goading would-be arsonists, tweeting on Wednesday, “Half way through and this goat is still standing and looking so good!” and then again last night, quoting Chesney Hawkes, “I’m the one and only...” Those sound like fighting words, and I know that if I lived in Gävle, the only topic of conversation in the pub would be “who’s going to get that bastard goat this year.”

Now don't get me wrong here, I am in no way in favour of breaking the law. I look forward to hearing about the dude who has to go up in front of a Judge and try to explain his moronic drunken behaviour, even though he has absolutely no chance of any kind of leniency. I'm looking forward to it as much as I'm looking forward to hearing a bunch of city officials try to explain to their constituents how they let a $100,000+ straw goat go up in flames for the 38th time, and why it's so important to repeat the whole ordeal again next year.

How does that saying go?

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."

Which brings us to the age old question: Is the entire population of Gävle, Sweden insane, or are they actually content with this odd and infamous tradition that entertains the masses and brings people from all over the world to their little quiet town to celebrate the holiday season with them?

I'll leave that for you to decide...

Anyway, let's all raise a glass to Gävlebocken 2021. It's time was short, but very memorable. May it rest in peace.

[traegorn]

After pointing out that there is no record of Christmas Trees existing in Germanic Yule celebrations (cuz, y'know, they weren't invented until the 16th century), this dude in a TikTok comment section just tried to tell me that Christmas trees are Celtic.

I just... wanna both laugh and cry sometimes.