#i could rant about their trollys

[randomwords247]

Today on things I have realised have been american-ised in Hilda that I didn't notice before: The walk signal.

Idk if I would've fully realised before going to the states on holiday but america does these bad boys way differently

Firstly, I've never heard anyone call them a walk signal. Pedestrian crossing or zebra crossing, or just "Green man".

Secondly: The signal's are different

Usually its a guy standing or even a bike coloured red, and when you can go? It's a green man walking - Hence, green man. Idk how common the bike is off the top of my head but its not always there

This is typically what they look like. The pole with the button you press has the green man, and sometimes there's also a traffic light (upper photo) with the green/red man.

Sometimes they look like this, but typically it looks like the photos above

It's not important or anything, but I think it's interesting how many little things are different, like them calling jumpers "sweaters" or the side Johanna drives being swapped. Small changes from the original british comic that add up to be a little odd to see at first, but are pretty darn nifty to notice and talk about. I don't know if I would've fully clocked it as american/canadian before I went there and experienced the different signals in person

I just think its Neat

(also these photos are taken from google images. Before anyone thinks they can dox me. Its very dark outside I couldn't take a photo of these if I tried)

[hydriad81194]

Trolly Problem - A Genloss Theory/Thoughts focused on Hetch

// This is kinda long, also genloss spoilers

Before I rant, I’m just saying that I feel silly and am just ranting. I saw 1 post about this and went haywire smile

Ok so i’ve been thinking about genloss, specifically, Hetch. Now I know a lot of us see him as villainous, seeing as he did manipulate Ranboo and in a way, killed them. But, as I’ve been thinking, Hetch as a character seemed a bit to simple. A villain, a killer, someone we shouldn’t trust. However, what if that in a way, he as a person was masked a bit. our view has been masked before and I don’t doubt we are free from it. So, my rant begins:

First off, titles. Hetch, apparently, was a name the Scottish used as a nickname for someone crooked. Which, with Hetchs character as we know goes, fits. But, nickname is what gets me. I could ask many questions about naming for some key characters, or a lack of naming. Examples include The Mastermind and The Founder. We are given titles that explain how they are relevant in a way. So, why wouldn’t the same go for Hetch? We know he works for The Founder, so maybe he was renamed to fit the role. The role he needed to serve.

That segway’s into my next point. A post talked about how people with masked in genloss are controllable, like the workers and Ran, as well as including Hetch. So what if Hetch is high in power, nearing The Founder, but still a puppet. Again, new point. It can be assumed that Hetch is a puppet for The Founder. But, what if that isn’t the case. Someone outside of Showfall trying to expose Showfall. But, evident by the 7-foot monster that killed multiple people, and upped security we know from Hetch telling us, simply walking in can’t happen. We know Showfall can’t stop hackers, evident by Hetch and Squiggles interactions, if you can call them that. 

I’ll stop building fluff around this and just say it, I think Hetch is a puppet being used to tear down Showfall Media. However, he works there and was quite high on the job scale. The person who is puppeteering him could be doing what we did to Ranboo in the Cabin. We told Ranboo to go somewhere, but didn’t control a lot of what they did or how they did it, aside from a one worded command. Explore. Could this person controlling Hetch be doing similar things, but with Hetch being aware of Showfall control on Ranboo or just Showfall being able to control people. Or they let him keep those memories, not relevant.

I said i’d stop the fluff then added more so here’s the good part. The person puppeteering Hetch wants us to see him as villainous as well as those working with The Founder, who we assume are well aware of everything, as people who need to be torn down. Making Hetch be the only person from The Founders direct team and our only representative of them it a great idea for the goal of tearing Showfall Media down. If we assume the Founder is the Founder of Showfall. Anyways, with how we view Hetch, maybe they want us to view the rest of them to be untrustworthy. Make us take very thing they say with a grain of salt. 

Ok that’s it, i’m not the best at explaining my theory but I hope it makes sense. A few more things though. If we believe that there is a separating party involved, that could make a neat ending. We have to make one final choice, which villain do we eliminate? Both could leave us with a feeling of dread. Ranboo seems to likes that. Adding on to that, Hetch could be neutral. Controlled by one side, but technically working for the other. Neat character idea. Bonus, stab wound was given to try and make him easier to control. Getting him both mentally and physically tired.

Also, I think you can somewhat ignore the thought of another person puppeteering Hetch or assume is just Hetch acting. But, I don’t think we know enough about Hetch and his true motives, or things threatening him. To finish this off, I pose a question to you:

You know the trolly question? The train going to hit one person or five, and we have to pick. Have you every thought of the person who was controlling the train, or the one who launched it? If they were trying to stop it, to make it better once aware. Would you blame them for the accident, a situation they might have not been able to control? Just some thoughts.

[moobloom-mention]

TommyInnit's First-Hand Guide on How to Say Goodbye

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Summary: The answer? You don't.

Content Warnings: Cursing. Mentions of death. Death. Grief. Violence. Alcoholism.

Word Count: 6021 words

----------

Out of all the inconveniences that could possibly arise being out on patrol, dealing with ambling crackheads had to be the worst.

Don't get him wrong, wondering the streets of New York is bound to expose a handful of drug-addicts, but holy Prime, it was as though someone had sprinkled cocaine around town.

Considering how low the temperature had dipped- which made sense, it was December -it was surprisingly to see so many addicts walking down the poorly paved streets instead of huddled along a lit fire.

Even Robert- the meth head Tommy had adopted 30 minutes ago -looks tired of it.

At least, he seems to be as far as the vigilante can tell. Sure, it's a little difficult to make out the short fellow's expression from atop a 6-story building, but Tommy doesn't mind squinting.

So long as Robert doesn't keel over and die, it's safe to say Tommy's found his patrol-buddy for the night.

A shrill noise from the vigilante's left ear slaps his focus away from Robert, fingers instinctively reaching to readjust his earpiece. He finds himself leaning against a vent atop the roof as he does so- what can he say? You stick around America for so long, you put up their tendency to lean.

It takes a well-aimed swat to the device for the shriek to grow quiet, making way for the continuous smack of gummy-worms being chewed.

"I'm just sayin'," Purpled's crackled voice pipes up from the earpiece. "If people truly cared about the environment, they wouldn't be consuming Trolli products."

Another gummy-worm is audibly popped within his best friend's mouth.

"Isn't Trolli's biggest product gummy-worms?"

"And?" Purpled snarks, unphased. "If I cared about the environment, I would've stopped making you earpieces after the back-up pair got destroyed."

Tommy playful banter dies on his tongue as his earpiece shrieks once more, words fumbling into a discontent grumble. He's painstakingly aware that the noise isn't some odd design flaw- it's intentionally, and it's his punishment.

He should've been suspicious the moment he'd pleaded for another earpiece and instead of the usual rant about being more careful, Purpled had given him a pat on the back and a genuine, "It's all good, Tommy."

"You don't see heroes struggling with getting a new fuckin' earpiece," Tommy grunts out.

"Yeah, maybe because those heroes don't go through twenty of them in the span of a month."

Tommy can't hide his abashed smile.

Alas, what can he say? The life of a vigilante is a dangerous one and earpieces were bound to get destroyed here and there.

…but maybe twenty is excessive.

"Anyway," Purpled excuses, shockingly eager to move on from the opportunity to taunt Tommy. "How's your buddy Robert doing?"

Tommy opens an eye to glance toward the streets below, scanning the lot for a dark green scarf. It's easy to pick Robert out, the man having hobbled into an alleyway between a condemned building and another working building that should've been condemned a decade ago.

"He's found himself a nice alley," the vigilante hums, disappointment striking his heart as he watches Robert nestle himself down for the night. "Seems our big-man won't be meeting his dealers tonight."

"Rough," Purpled sighs, the crumpling of a bag echoing through the speaker. "Guess it's one of those nights, huh?"

Tommy hums noncommittally. The streets are far too active for something to not happen, even if it's as simple as two addicts duking it out in the streets.

"You better hope somethin' happens," the vigilante begins, certain Purpled can hear the grin in his voice. "My dogs are itching to pick a fight."

"I swear to Prime, if your feet come anywhere near me you're getting scratched off the shipment list."

"Aw, c'mon. They aren't that bad."

"Mhm, tell that to the fungus culture growing inside your shoe," Purpled laughs.

How rude.

"My shoe does not host some shitty fungus culture! For your in-for-mat-ion, it's a-"

There's a flicker of movement from the street below.

In retrospect, he shouldn't have given it much of a thought. Crackheads were roaming the sidewalks left and right- the appearance of another silhouette is barely enough to gather his attention.

The only issue is the fact that there's nobody for the shadow to be imitating.

He faintly registers Purpled's concerned "Tommy?"

"Sorry, I just-"

The silhouette- no, he pauses, the silhouettes begin a steady pace forward.

"Something's going on?" is all the vigilante manages to sputter.

Static crackles through the earpiece.

"Wow, thank you for clarifying. I really got the picture," comes the dry response.

Tommy's mouth instinctively opens to hash out an insult, throat tightening as he watches the pair of silhouettes shuffle along the dimly-lit streets.

They seem to have a location in mind, beelining toward an old bar with a flickering "Open!" sign peering through the windows. It's a wonder how OSHA hasn't put a stop to the business already.

Two silhouettes disappear within the bar.

Prime, it sounds like a joke Phil would try to pull off.

Tommy jumps as the earpiece shrieks again.

"Tommy! For fuck's sake if I have to come get you-"

"Sorry, sorry," the vigilante rushes, unapologetic. "I just thought I saw somethin' weird."

"Goddamnit-" is the only word Tommy manages to catch before more curses pour through the device. Years of practice enables him to tune his best friend's anger out for the most part, eyes staring intently at the bar. The silhouettes don't bother to reappear- Prime knows the shit he's about to get himself into.

"Hey," Tommy interjects, Purpled's rant stilling at an instant. "I think I'm going to finish my patrol up and then head back, yeah? I guess it is one of those nights."

An irritated sigh crackles through. "Fine. Just-"

Tommy doesn't wait to sprint for the edge of the building, grasping the roof's edge as he lunges for a nearby pipeline connecting the complex to the ground.

At least, that'd been the plan.

His grip on the building disappears just in time for Purpled's, "-don't be an idiot. Wilbur would-" to crackle through, startling the vigilante as the sudden feeling of weightlessness and howl of wind greets him.

Fuck-!

Tommy reaches for his power and yanks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a flash of light and Tommy finds himself once again perched atop the apartment building, as though he hadn't just embarrassed himself to the Universe.

"-don't be an idiot," Purpled scolds, "Wilbur would kill me."

"...you got it, boss-man."

On second thought, maybe he'll take the stairs for this one.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't get him wrong, Tommy is far from the description of "saint". He's broken more than enough bones in his life- bones of other pricks, thank you, Wilbur might call him clumsy but he's not that clumsy -to know he's not going to heaven.

Sometimes illegal crimes have to be retaliated against with more illegal shit. It's just the way life goes.

But even in spite of his ongoing quest to complete his extensive bucket list of morally-excusable crimes, he'd never once stepped foot within a bar.

That sure as hell doesn't stop him from realizing that this...restaurant isn't much of a bar in the first place. "Sorry Excuse for a Shack(c)" would make a much better name, with elegant dining options like rotting carpet and an old granite countertop Tommy prays patrons aren't expected to drink at.

In spite of the neon "OPEN" sign hanging in the window, there isn't even a bartender slouched behind the bar in wait for customers.

It's just him, the stale smell of piss, and two very well-dressed gentlemen with nice looking hair.

At least, it looks nice from an aerial view.

Tommy's grasp on the beloved ceiling joist- isn't that just the funniest word, joist -he'd chosen to hide atop tightens, thanking Prime he hadn't worn his fiery red uniform out for patrol. As much as he can appreciate shining like a disco ball, the bright outfit had never been ideal for Tommy's iconic impulsive stealth-missions.

He forces himself to lean forward in spite of the beam's groan, taking note of the semi-queasy look on the taller man's face. His far shorter partner doesn't bare the same expression, looking more irritated than anything.

"We're finding a better form of transportation," Big Guy demands, a hand pressing at his temple.

"What, did you want to take the bus?" Shorty asks, voice clipped in spite of his mild amusement. "Besides, it's just like a hangover. You should be used to those by now."

Damn, not cool Shorty.

As if in total agreement, Big Guy- oh fuck this, he might as well be Wil's best mate if he's a drinker -settles a scalding glare atop Shorty's head, who in turn pretends not to notice.

Tommy's not sure if he should feel creeped out or curious at how closely they resemble Tommy's own dynamic with Purpled.

"It's shocking you've lived this long," Purpled's voice parrots within his mind.

Wil's Mate and Shorty are acquaintances friends (?).

Shorty:

- Can turn into a shadow and/or travel by them

- > Feels like a hangover

- Does NOT like buses

- > To be explored.

Wil's Mate:

- Devastating death-glares

- Alcoholic (L)

- Possibly linked to Wilbur (??)

A soft clink of glass draws Tommy back to the scene in front of him, Wil's Mate fiddling with a stray glass that Tommy is sure is meant to be a beer stein.

His eyebrows furrow as the glass slides down the old counter and off the edge, the bar's carpet doing little to cushion the crash of broken glass.

"I'd rather you not destroy the place," Shorty comments, very-much sounding unfazed.

"Oh please," Wil's Mate grins. "If Charlie gets worked up about it, I'll buy this shithole from him."

Fuck yeah, a new player enters the game.

Charlie:

- Owns bar

- > Kinda sucks at it, ngl

- Definitely should be looked into

Wil's Mate [REVISITED]:

- Rich.

Damn, call him Velma because he is crushing this mystery.

Tommy barely makes out the lift in Shorty's eyebrows.

"Yeah? What makes you think he'll take your offer?"

Wil's Mate only laughs, deep and hearty. "Anyone with common sense would take twenty bucks and then thank me for taking this place off their hands."

"Uh-huh."

This guy's a real convincer, isn't he?

It's only then that the conversation below grows quiet, voices prey beneath the clinking of alcoholic beverages being rummaged through.

Tommy leans forward yet again, straining to hear the actual conversation taking place.

A loud groan is the only warning he receives before the wooden joist beneath him splits, sending the teenager tumbling a good ten feet to the ground.

Tommy's lungs spasm as his back greets the molding carpet, a hand flying to instinctively still his spinning vision.

He blinks just in time to stare at the shocked expressions of both Shorty and Wil's Mate.

Holy shit, Wil's Mate should not be that tall.

But it's the sheer anger radiating off Shorty that shrieks of imminent danger.

"O-Oh, would you look at that?" Tommy smiles weakly, grasping desperately for his power. "This isn't the bus stop."

Shorty lunges.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy blinks away the blinding light from his vision, eyes wide as he stares down at the joist that'd failed him moments before. Wil's Mate and Shorty are still talking and rummaging through bottles as the vigilante carefully stands, desperately searching for a better spot to position himself.

Charlie [REVISITED]:

- Has unreliable support joists in his bar. Seriously, how the fuck is this place still running?

Shorty [REVISITED]:

- DEFINITELY does NOT like buses.

- > Do NOT explore

Only a hop away stands another joist, one directly connected to a pillar rooted at the bar's floor.

Well doll him up and call him Clementine, because it's perfect.

The conversation below grows quiet once more.

Please, please, please-Prime, PLEASE-

The sound of glass shattering does well to cover the soft groan of Tommy's newest joist supporting his weight, a quick glance proving that Wil's Mate had slammed a crystal cup a little too harshly on the bar's shitty counter.

Shorty only rolls his eyes, unamused by the other's antics.

"My fault," Wil's Mate sighs, unapologetic. "Duckie, be a dear and grab me a double Titos?"

Titos?

Oh, wait! He knows this one!

Shorty- Duckie? That's fuckin' weird, he's staying Shorty -looks natural as he makes his way behind the bar's counter, grabbing a short glass from a cabinet and a familiar clear bottle of Titos.

The bronze cap shines just as bright as it ever did beneath the lightbulb of Wilbur's room.

Tommy watches as the drink is poured with practiced ease, a splash of some red drink even added into the mix.

It must be some sort fruit-based juice; drunk Wilbur never failed to complain about the bitter warmth of straight vodka.

Prime, this guy might actually be Wil's best-mate.

"And you still remember," Wil's Mate smirks, almost looking fond. "I'm touched."

[REVISITED]: Shorty and Wil's Mate are acquaintances friends (?) definitely friends.

"Don't push it," Shorty grunts out as he moves to grab a different bottle of alcohol. The contents of the bottle is blurred by an off-shade of white, with a landscape and some odd-looking- swan? Duck? Goose? -bird on its label. Shorty's quick to pour himself a drink of it, Wil's Mate making an odd look of feigned disgust over his partner's choice. Shorty doesn't seem to mind though, taking a sip. "I didn't drag your sorry ass out here for a night of drinks."

Tommy winces as the joist beneath him squeaks.

Still, it holds firm.

"Punz's kid is cutting back on production rates."

Wil's Mate suddenly lurches forward, spitting out his snooty "~double Titos~" as Tommy silently chokes on his own saliva. "He's what?"

Tommy can't help but agree.

Cutting back on production rates? Purpled never brought something like that up- uh, not that being the guy's best friend meant he needed to know everything, it just would've been nice to be in the know before Shorty.

"I don't know," the shorter sighs, tugging angrily at his black hair. "I talked with Fundy and he insists that Purpled's shipments have stayed normal for him. If anything, it seems the kid's only interested in halting the products you want."

Wil's Mate's eyes widen. "You're saying he's-?"

"Yeah," Shorty affirms with a bitter laugh. "You've finally fucked up."

Ooo, now this is getting good.

Purpled holding grudges is nothing new, but Wil's Mate must've fucked up terribly to get booted off the shipment list.

Wil's Mate sits still, deathly quiet.

Then, "How?"

"Why are you asking me?" Shorty hisses. "Last time I checked, my orders never had Schlatt written all over them."

Okay, think think think.

Shorty and Schlatt are getting shipments, which means they have to be powerful people to be in touch with Punz's business. Purpled hasn't mentioned anything about them before, right? Just angrily ranted about gummy-worms?

It doesn't matter anyway, the most important issue the possibility of these dickheads becoming threats to his best friend.

And judging by how angry Schlatt looks-

Tommy's breath hitches.

Holy shit- holy shit! No fuckin' way.

Tommy forces his limbs to still, eyes widen as he squints toward Wil's Mate. There's no way in hell it could actually be Schlatt- one of the city's most privatized and dangerous villains of city -entirely unmasked and sitting in a dump with his supplier.

Then again, Wil's Mate does have some features that compare with what little of Schlatt's appearance has been leaked.

The same harsh, nearly-black eyes that could make a baby cry.

Similar length and style of dark brown hair.

His voice is...actually decently close to how Tommy always assumed the villain would sound. Gruff and elongated.

The alcoholism tracks pretty well too. Being a villain can't be an easy thing to think about while sober.

That only leaves Shorty's identify a mystery, then.

Mr. Duckie himself.

Oh, Tommy blinks, dumbly. It's Quackity.

It wasn't unheard of for the two villains to be stirring ruckus together, but ordering gadgets for one another? No wonder Purpled's missed, that's gotta be a new one for the books.

So is Quackity apparently hosting his own set of transportation powers.

Purpled is totally going to eat this shit up.

That is, if Tommy's stealthy enough to make it out of this goddamn rat nest.

His ever-faithful joist only bounces as the vigilante climbs to its neighbor, cautiously making his way toward the entrance wall of the bar. He'll have to drop down a few feet from the doors, Charlie apparently not having liked to keep the whole "open rafter" theme continuous throughout the building.

It also means potential contact with two notorious villains not above getting rid of some measly vigilante. Now if he was Dream, then maybe he could get away with a scratch.

But he's not Dream.

He's Tommy Danger Innit, the city's favorite vigilante goddamnit.

His eyes move rapidly as he tracks the movements of Schlatt and Quackity, rather thankful that the pair are seemingly far too engrossed within their arguments to care about him moving through the rafter.

Married couples, eugh.

He's quiet- for once, his mind laughs -as he reaches the end of the rafters and drops from the ceiling, gaze set on the doorway. It's only a couple steps if he sprints.

Easy enough, yeah?

The bar stills.

A floorboard creaks.

And Tommy chokes as something- a hand, his mind screams -grabs the backing of his uniform, yanking him with little regard to his attempts to fucking breathe.

Oh FUCK-!

"Quackity grab his-"

Hands- the aforementioned villain's, his mind helpfully supplies as well -entrap his wrists, panic flooding Tommy's system as he attempts to twist from the pair of villains.

It's all in vain, something cold entrapping his wrist with a sharp squeal of metal.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Tommy's tries not to pant audibly in spite of his struggles, eyes squeezing shut as he mentally reaches for his power. It was situations like this that made him thank Prime he'd spent plenty of years perfecting his timing and connection with his power.

Time was not an entity to be fucked with, and wouldn't it be Tommy's lucky day to be forced to poke the bear.

Lady Prime was not going to be a happy camper.

A soft beep tumbles into the air and the mental reach for his power suddenly freezes, as though his mind had been forced to back away from the thought of time traveling. Fear overtakes his previously cocky stance; of course his power chose the peachy time of now to flake on him.

"Holy shit."

Tommy snarls on instinct, throwing his head back toward the villain's voice. There's a grunt of pain that stirs pride within Tommy's stomach; he'd just head-butted one of the most feared people in the city.

Yeah, no. He's fucked.

"What the fuck did you do?" Tommy gasps, still struggling as he frantically makes a move for his powers.

Schlatt's grasp never loosens, the pair of villains seemingly too enthralled by the repetitive beeps filling the air.

The beeps signaling Tommy's failure.

Quackity moves in the corner of his eye, and the vigilante seizes the opportunity of his newly freed arms to make a swing. He only proves to jolt him and Schlatt forward, a glance amending that cuffs had been used to keep his hands occupied.

They're jagged against his skin, unrefined.

Tommy's breath hitches.

The design of it is far too familiar-

"Hey, Purpled..."

The hundreds of blueprints they'd scrolled through.

These aren't just a flimsy pair of cuffs.

It's a pair of Punz's power dampeners.

Prime, Tommy laughs humorlessly. These fuckwits were who Purpled had been searching for. The same pair who had killed the city's most notorious inventor; apparently just to get their hands on these cuffs.

But that meant Punz's design hadn't just been a hypothetical. It'd-

"-worked," Quackity finishes with an unguarded expression of shock. "Holy shit, it worked."

Tommy freezes.

He never thought there'd be a day when a dead man's invention would make his blood run cold.

"Don't tell me it's locked your joints too, kid," Schlatt laughs from above Tommy's head, giddily aware of the vigilante's plight. "Can't use your power to get out of this one, hm?"

Panicked beeping is the only response.

Tommy flinches as Quackity's hand swipes at his ear, his eyes wide once he feels his earpiece jostle. He forces his cuffed hands upward in a weak attempt to keep the device in place.

To keep his sole contact with Purpled intact.

But the earpiece lands all-the-same in the villain's grasp, before it's dumped uselessly to the floor.

"Fuck."

So long for a two-week survival streak.

Goodbye, device #21. We shall mourn you.

The villain's foot barely crunches down.

The device shrieks, loud and grating on the trio's ears.

Suddenly, the cuffs give way to Tommy's wrists.

He's free.

Schlatt barely has time to react before the vigilante spins around and lands a punch, the addicting taste of freedom on his tongue as he lunges for the bar's doors.

"Q, quick-!"

The thundering roar of blood in his ears does little to drown out the loud bang bouncing against the building's walls.

Pain flares in his knees, eyes blurring as the bar's moldy carpet floods his vision.

He faintly registers a hand ruffling through his unkempt hair, mind urging him to lean into the movement because fuck if he doesn't want Wilbur right now.

The hand pulls away.

"Nothing personal, kid. Just business."

And Tommy falls, prey to the warm embrace of unconsciousness.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing Tommy notes as he gains awareness is how quiet everything is.

There's no panicked shouting from Schlatt or Quackity, nor the distant buzz of wailing police sirens. The only continuous sound appears to be the dizzying echo of short, labored breaths.

Oh. That was him making that noise.

He almost regrets forcing his eyes open, vision swimming as he gulps desperately for air.

His teeth feel dry like his dentist had just sucked all the saliva outta them- he isn't waking up from a dentist procedure, right?

A glance proves he's just...laying down in the dingy bar.

His fingers squeeze at the moldy carpet below him.

How embarrassing.

He can feel something sluggish makings its way down his chest, sticking to his pale skin in a way that has Tommy wondering if the villains had found it funny to dump syrup on him.

Ha, that would be such a classic villain move.

There's a dull thud in his ears as he raises his head to glance toward his chest, almost laughing at the fact that the substance is a touch too dark to be the syrup Phil had always bought at the grocery store for him.

This was probably some Great Value shit, wasn't it?

Low budget villains were ridiculous, honestly. A guy can't even get good- oh.

Pain is an easy-enough concept to understand, innit?

He gets punched, his arm says "Ow-", and then his brain says "Ow-" for several days.

So he would just love to know why the fuck his eyes are very much saying "Ow, that gaping hole looks painful" whilst his brain only sits in silence.

Prime, maybe this was just some fucked up spectator mode that occurred after death, like on that Team Fortress game Techno had always been obsessed with, when it replays the shot that'd killed him.

Or shock.

Shock would be...better than death.

No worries, no pain; just him, this trusty floor, and Purpled's-

Oh Prime.

Purpled is going to kill him.

Fuck going into shock over the very real threat of death, Purpled's spite alone could resurrect him.

Tommy stares helplessly at the squashed earpiece sitting idle a few feet away. One that his best friend had worked so hard on, had modified for Tommy's sake- even if with ill-intent.

He can't even furiously scrub at the tears threatening to escape his eyes, arms far too heavy to think of moving.

But Purpled needs to know.

He needs to know that Tommy had fucked up yet again and that he needed to:

A.) Get patched up

and

B.) Be built a new earpiece.

Maybe they could even laugh about this whole thing later whilst going over plans to get revenge on those dick'eads.

His mind still can't comprehend the idea of having met Schlatt and Quackity.

What a crazy world.

Purpled is going to love this story.

Punz would've loved this story, or at least would've loved to know that Tommy had found the man's killers.

There's a gentle buzz and he winces, a bright light snarling to his left.

For a moment, he fears it's Schlatt returning to finish the job.

The light dims.

Oh.

It's just his phone.

His earpiece lies not far from it.

Well this was going to be a fun phone call.

Tommy's stomach rolls as he leans to his left, arm shaking far too violently as he grabs for it.

A click and the bright light returns.

His eyes burn.

Fuck whoever designed this stupid fucking thing.

At least Purpled's contact is easy enough to find, despite it being in the "P" category.

Ha.

That was kinda funny.

It rings once.

Twice.

Thrice.

[Click]

Oh good, he doesn't know what comes after thrice.

"Tommy?"

A sniffle escapes him. Fuck his throat hurts.

"Wha's up, big-man?"

"What-? You called me, man. Where are you, I thought you were on your way back?"

"I-" Tommy bites his lip, wincing at the current of pain his action elicits. "You'll never guess who I just met."

"Adam Levine?"

A heaved laugh warms his chest. "Schlatt! And Big Q! They were-"

Easy breaths.

Steady breaths.

"They were- out of costume."

"Please tell me you didn't engage."

His shoulders instinctively hike up in defense, uncaring for the hiss of pain the movement causes.

Purpled's voice turns soft, almost uncharacteristically so.

"How bad is it?"

That's funny.

"It's uh, i-it's not looking good, big-man."

"How not good?"

Prime, he's always loved Purpled's almost parental concern in times of need.

"Like shot and dying in a bar not good, dick'ead."

There's a beat of silence.

"Tommy. You need to time travel."

Tommy's arms shake at the idea. So much of his energy had already been squashed into keeping his mouth moving, had already been drained with every word he attempts to comprehend.

"I-I can't. Not before...not before this happened."

"No, no. You're- you're lying. This is a prank, isn't it? It's not funny asshole."

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

There's a soft sob over the speaker, muffled behind what Tommy can assume is Purpled's hand.

"Please," Purpled begs, "Please don't apologize."

There's a beat of silence, before the echoing twist of a doorknob spooks Tommy once more into awareness.

"Wha are you doin'?"

"I'm coming to get your ass."

Purpled's voice is nothing but a shaking metronome.

"Purpled, no."

"I can't lose you too, Tommy-"

Right. The whole Punz thing.

"I just- what is Phil going to say? Techno? Hell, Wilbur?"

Tommy's eyes squeeze.

Fuck, he needs to say goodbye to everyone.

A flash-drive isn't enough for them, it won't be.

He wasn't supposed to get shot.

He isn't supposed to die.

Where the fuck did his plot armor go?

"-Tommy? Tommy, answer me!"

His eyes flutter as he desperately makes another grab for his power. Surely it won't run from him this time, yeah? Whatever the fuck Schlatt and Quackity had done couldn't last forever.

"Please, I'll make you all the earpieces you want. Please just-"

There.

Tommy's fingers wrap delicately around his power's string, eyes blurring as warmth floods him.

"-say something-!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a soft flash of light.

Tommy seizes, gasping for air as he comes to consciousness. Panic surges him forward, barely able to conceal the whimper as he collapses to the ground, weak.

Shit shit shit-

So much for the initial benefit of shock.

At least the bar's moldly floor is still here to support him.

It's odd, to reach the revelation I'm dying at the prime age of sixteen.

He's meant to be lounging in Purpled's bean bag, toying with whatever gadget his best friend had lying around.

He's meant to be worrying about an Algebra test that's tomorrow.

School might be for nerds but Wilbur will give him that disappointed look if Tommy doesn't pass it.

His chest aches.

He supposes he doesn't have to worry about that Algebra test anymore.

There's a bullet nurturing his chest.

And Tommy isn't ready to die.

He doesn't attempt to withhold the sobs he'd been trapping within his throat during his phone call, mouth already dry once more as he lurches forward. The flash of pain that riots through him only encourages his heaves, bile splattering against the carpet.

Charlie better thank him later for decorating his bar.

Where he'd once wince at the acidic substance getting onto his hands, he only shakes violently. It'd always been this cold, right? And it was just the temperature making him shake, not the fear tickling at the back of his throat?

Prime, he's getting too distracted with how little time he has.

He has...a mission! A mission, yes!

A- uh, a family to call?

A family to grieve.

His finger trembles over Techno's caller ID.

The phone rings.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

[Click]

Tommy's heart burns.

"You've reached the Blade's inbox, I'm probably busy doing something cool right now-"

Or asleep, considering it's the middle of the night.

"-please leave a voice message after the beep. Beep."

"Uh, Techno. Hi. I'm-"

Not poggers? Wish you were here? Dying in an empty bar and you're too busy being asleep to pick up?

Tommy's lungs squeeze.

"Imma be honest Big Man, I can't do this."

His thumb taps at the call's red button.

Surely-

He coughs.

Surely if not Techno then Phil will be up, right?

His dad had always been a night owl.

Somehow, it's far easier to tap Phil's contact number than his older brother's.

The phone rings.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four

Fi-

[Click]

Oh.

"Thank you for trying to reach Phil Watson-"

Sent to voicemail.

"At the beep please record your message with your name and your-"

His thumb taps once more to end the call.

He wants to be angry.

He wants to be loud.

He feels numb.

Deep breaths.

I can do this.

You have one more person.

Just one more and this all goes away.

Tommy grabs at his power.

And yanks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a flash of light.

And a finger that hesitates over a contact ID.

"💙 Wilbur [NOT POG] 💙"

This...it won't be hard.

A tap.

One.

Two-

[Click]

It's 1 in the morning.

But Wilbur still picks up.

"Toms?"

His brother's voice is groggy before it turns panicked.

Fuck, Tommy must've made some pained sound.

"What's wrong? Do you need me to come get you? Hold on, let me get my keys-"

"No!" Tommy jolts, hissing in pain as the gunshot flares. "I'm- sorry, sorry. No, I'm okay."

He twists the phone in his hands, the phone app abandoned in favor of pulling up his text messages with Purpled.

There isn't a notification to indicate their prior phone call with one another.

Purpled won't remember their previous conversation.

There's only a blue message with the word "porter" and animated grey bubbles that follow it.

His phone buzzes.

It's easy to ignore.

"I'm just...texting Purpled."

"Oh," Wilbur hums, thankfully dropping his mother-hen voice. "You guys are supposed to hang out tomorrow night, yeah? I can go grab some pop for you in the morning."

Tommy smiles. It's something he does anytime he's on a phone call with his brother, even whilst they're faux arguing.

For once, Tommy's glad Wilbur can't see his broken smile and glassy eyes. "You'd do that for us?" he laughs, the sound a gentle wheeze. "He'd love that."

"Pepsi for you, right?" Wilbur asks, obviously attempting to get arise out of his younger brother.

"Y'know what?"

There's the gentle shift of fabric, as though Wilbur had properly sat up on his bed in anticipation for the big reveal. "What?"

"I think I've turned a new leaf," he confesses, "Get me Pepsi."

There's silence, and for a moment, fear stabs through his lungs. So help him, if his shitty cellular service had disconnected him-

The beginning of Tommy's sob is interrupted by the fading laughter of his older brother, Wilbur demanding, "No fuckin' way, what'd you do with the real Tommy?"

The question nestled itself close to the vigilante's heart.

"He's in an alleyway bleeding out," Tommy jokes. It's dark as hell, but hey, not like Wilbur would be able to tell the difference. It won't be important until the upcoming days, that is if Schlatt doesn't decide to come back and properly dispose of his body.

That Charlie guy is definitely going to be pissed.

The phone stutters with soft laughter again, as if the joyous sound is too much for the provider to handle.

"I do," Tommy pauses, gasping for breath. "I do have a request, though."

"Shoot for it, Toms."

"Remember Henry?"

"How could I forget?" Wilbur murmurs, voice terrifyingly soft.

Tommy bites a whimper as he adjusts, ass already sore from the odd slouch he'd been subjected to for Prime knows how long. "There should be some...some fuckin' flash drives inside his plush. Could you grab them for me later?"

There's a pause from the phone. Then, "...is it blackmail?"

Tommy chokes as he laughs. "No, it isn't blackmail. It's just important that you all watch what's in them tomorrow."

"Aww, Toms. Is it an early Christmas present you're too embarrassed to show us?"

It's far too easy for him to nod in agreement. That was a much better story than, "No, no, I'm just dying here in this stupid-ass alleyway."

"Yeah, that. Can I get another request too?"

"It'll cost you a night of peace-and-quiet."

Hmm, Tommy could afford that. Still, "You bastard- fine."

Wilbur then goes quiet, as if to urge Tommy to continue with his request.

"A story?" he tries, eyes wet with exhausted tears. "Like the old days?"

"That's an odd request," Wilbur notes. Tommy can almost imagine the bewildered expression on his brother's face.

"Please?"

"...okay?

"Once upon a time there lived the most handsome prince in the world- Your Most Royal Highness Prince Wilbur-"

It's easy to fall into the soft tone of Wilbur's voice, reminiscent of the time Tommy had just moved into the house. He'd been terrified of every little thing, rarely getting a wink of sleep.

It wasn't until Tommy stumbled upon Wilbur reading a story aloud that exhaustion had truly overwhelmed him. He'd fallen asleep at the other side of Wilbur's door before even the young eight-year-old knew what he was doing.

Wilbur makes a shrill voice, drawing Tommy back to attention.

Oh, he's doing an impression of some green goblin character that Tommy is sure is named after him.

An alert flashes on his screen.

5%

His eyelids feel heavy.

"Hey, Wil?"

Guilt gnaws for interrupting the story.

"What's up, Toms?"

"I think-" Tommy clasps a hand to his mouth, halting the sob that'd been threatening to spill from it. "I think you're breaking up."

"Oh."

"Yeah, it must be on my part," the mute button shouldn't be so easy to click as he coughs, not daring to take a second-glance at the thick substance he'd choked out.

It's blood. He knows it is.

"I must be going into a shitty area. Always told Dad to upgrade our providers," Tommy prays the tremble in his voice is disguised beneath the crackle of a speaker. "I love you, and you love me, yeah dick'ead?"

"Always, Toms."

"Good. Now go get that damn flash-drive."

"Alright, alright. See you soon?"

The blonde lurches forward as he laughs, vision already beginning to blur.

"See you soon. Hang up on me, will ya'?"

"Deal."

There's a soft beep to indicate the disconnect.

Please, Lady Prime, be kind to them.

[normalpeopleconfuseme]

Sexiness is over 9000!

You hummed a small tune as you placed the returned books back on the shelves. The morning had been busy since it's right around exams and students have been studying like crazy for the last few days but thankfully you've been able to keep up with the rush.

" Excuse me sensei do you have any books on the history of torture?' A small student covered in fur asked politely and you offered them a soft smile. "You're just in luck! I was just about to put one back on the shelves." You handed the small student their book, they couldn't help but sigh in relief at holding the book. " Thank you so much sensei! It's been so hard to grab this! I really need to cram on my history for the torture classes, it's my lowest grade."

A cloud of gloom hanged over the young students' head which caused you to chuckle a little. You pat their head in comfort " Always remember that I'm right here whenever you need help and theres always a chance or two I could sneak some reference material off of the teachers if you really need it, just do your best alright?"

You were able to cheer them up as you pat their head, an arua of confidence had started to surround them. They laughed slightly at the affection before thanking you again and going on their way. You wore a proud smile on your face as your returned back to your work.

"Such sweet kids I hope each of them will do their best on their exams." You talked to yourself as you place the books backs. One quick look away was quick enough for someone to sneak up on you. You were surprised to see Raim-sensei leaning over your trolly with a cheeky smile on her face while Momonoki stood behind her with a chart that was filled with treats and tea.

"Ready for your daily meeting?' Raim-sensei asked.

"The daily meeting" was really a small gathering in the middle of the school day between class breaks. They were normally held in your office since students and even some teachers rarely entered your office so it sort of became a hangout spot for the three of you. Raim and Momonoki let out a sigh after taking a drink from their hell grade tea.

Raim let out a groaned as she leaned back on her hands. "I had such bad luck last night I met a cutie, but I couldn't even get near him thanks to a certain annoying general." she said with some annoyance in her tone. You never understood why she kept going to that bar. You sighed with annoyance knowing very well who she's talking about.

"I still don't get why you keep going back to that bar in the first place, you know that its infested with vermin" You tried to hold back the growl that threatened to escape from your lips. "I don't know why either but its hard for a demon so leave their previous stomping grounds, but maybe I should find another place to use my charms other than that place the only one who was handsome enough was gerneral furfur."

Yes, the mighty general furfur and his men had arrogantly taken over Raim's favorite spot for a meal. Momonoki looked at her with sympathy "General furfur must've told his men not to flirt with any woman in the bar, that can't be good for a succubus to be denied their prey."

You agreed as you had learned that succubus had a tendency to roam around an area that they like for their meals "Well now I see why you're so annoyed with the change in the atmosphere at your stomping grounds" You had only ever met the general a few times before and those few times were more than enough for you to deal with the annoying red demon. You gritted your teeth at the thought of the man. "If I were you I would have clocked that idiot on the side of the head." You huffed and took a drink of your tea.

Raim looked at you before a teasing smile covered her face "I see what furfur meant last night-" "Please don't tell me you slept with that asshole, he smells like cheap cologne and cigarettes." You were about to go on a rant but Raim was quick to change the topic about the general.

"No no! of course not!"

Rage slightly defused and leaned over the table. "With the general there, none of the cuties will look my way without a little help from me, it was so boring, and they were all just a bunch of meatheads that didn't know the first thing of how to treat a lady like me!"

She groaned as she laid on the table, you chuckled a little while momonoki attempted to comfort her "I suppose everyone's love life has its' ups and downs at times Raim, you shouldn't worry too much."

You nodded in agreement with momonokis' wise words. Finding love in the netherworld was hard even more so with being a human, spending everyday making sure you and your sons identity wasn't exposed.

Raim let out a sob as a few crocodile tears escaped her eyes. " I supposed so Momo-chan but seriously where are the proper men?! The ones that can be sweet and gentle one moment but press you against the wall the next when you act like a brat!!"

You could only sweatdrop at her shout while Momonoki only laughed nervously at her comment.

"Come on Raim, you can always find some other place for your meals, anyone would be lucky to have your attention." You knew even with Raim being an succubus, the effect of losing ones self confidence in something they enjoy. Raim gave you a smile at your complement.

"Oh YN, you're so sweet but there are times where I wish you could give me some of your charm, it always seem like you have strong , handsome demons after you."

.....Say wha?

Question marks floated around your head at her remark, what in the world did she meant? was what you thought when she noticed your confused look.

"Come on Y/N, you can't tell me that you haven't noticed how Balam follows you around most of the time?" You and him go on rants about the human world a lot.

"And there's Dali-sensei who I never seen go out with a demon any longer than a week yet I've seen even him making heart eyes at you!"

....

You could only stare at her as the dial up noise sounded in your head...

Momonoki suddenly looked embarrassed and she started to fiddle with her tea cup.

"uuuh W-what about kalego-sensei?"

Record full stop! "Dear devi please don't say anything Raim! I don't want to get involved with a misunderstanding love triangle!'

You prayed to everything you could that Kalego isn't involved with this madness!

But the silence from Raim as she had a still look on her face was clear. she tried to lean and look away from the teary demon.

" I'm so sorry Momo-chan... but YN sexiness is over a limit that I have never seen before...even tall dark and angry Kalego isn't immune by them."

That deserved a quick wack on the back of the head as Momonoki cried.

[butterflymay]

the immediate switch from junkorexie to ortho is wild. (numbers below- slight vent)

how did i go from eating 700 of protein and junk food everyday to eating 1200 and buying like healthy food and avoiding junk is easy again.

its either this new strain or that i just got off my period.

i do feel sm better tho hopefully i can keep this up even when my period hits.

anyways gonna rant about the changes ive made rq

first off ive gotten lemon juice and started drinking lemon water again (like 2-3 liters a day). ive gotten really into tea lately and i think ill invest in some (i get free drinks at the cafe i work at. so many tea and coffee varieties) ive been taking supplements that actually help instead of just taking whatever im familiar with.

ive always had a thing for protein; eggs and protein powder are my favs. ive also branched out into other proteins like nuts, greek yogurt (finally found one i really like. the flavor is so bland lol) tofu, and greek yogurt. i rarely consume any meat which honestly i love it i wish i could, but the way its cooked and processed is so blah.

along with protein, ive also gotten really into fiber as well. i put unflavored fiber powder in my protein shakes and ive been eating more foods with fiber. greens and dates mostly (dates taste like vanilla ice cream if you havent eaten it in a few years lol) some nuts too but i have a peanut allergy and the brands that dont use peanut oil to roast their nuts get pricey. also hella apples lol its great when they taste like apple juice

ive also found lowcal snack foods i enjoy. ive always been avoidant of trying new candy, but trolli gummies and butterscotch hard candies are super yum and cheap too if you find them at the right places.

condiments. idk those are scary for me, but ive recently learned how to make my own with greek yogurt. i used to not like mustard, but ive found that i really do like it. idk i avoided it for a bit i think my tastebuds just evolved.

anyways wake and bake just did the zap thing to my brain so thats all for now lol

[imbumkyung]

I Saw It In A Movie One Time- Ch. 8

————

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7

The lights in Bella’s house stood dim. Tiny specks of light shone through the window carried by the moon. Riley didn’t need any lights, however. His vampire abilities perfectly capable of providing him sight through the dark. He picked up a red blouse, inhaling the scent like he’d never taken a breath before. Maybe it was just that— he didn’t have to breathe anymore.

Charlie lay asleep on the couch downstairs, unsuspecting to the “killer animal” who also happened to be the missing boy he had been working so hard to find.

Upon hearing the door open, Charlie stood to greet Bella, unhappy that Edward brought her home way past dinner time

“You know,” Charlie rounded the corner, “Edward could at least respect meal times,” He gruffed, despondent that he spent dinner by himself.

“I was just with Jake,” Bella refuted lightly.

Charlies face lit up approvingly, until he heard Edwards knock on the door, leaving them to have privacy.

Edward was worried for Bella’s safety, ranting to her that he had almost broken the treaty to make sure she was okay. Mid-sentence, he caught a scent unfamiliar to him.

-

“I didnt recognize his scent,” Edward explained. The Cullens stood attentive– shocked that an intruder of their kind roamed the spaces of Bella’s room.

Esme’s eyes stuck to the floor in concentration, “A nomad passing through.”

“A passerby wouldn’t have left Bella’s father alive,” Rosalie refuted

Jasper and Emmett entered the living space of the Cullen’s home, unsurprisingly composed considering they had just travelled about fifteen miles just to track the intruders scent.

“His scent disappeared about 5 miles south of Bella’s house,” Jasper informed.

The Cullens agreed that it had been orchestrated. Rosalie was correct— any other vampire wouldn’t have left Charlie alive. But somehow, he was important enough to let live by the intruder. It was clear that the intruder did not want to leave any traces of his visit behind. They just could not pinpoint who was behind it. Alice didn’t see Victoria in her visions, nor did she see Aro make any decisions regarding this issue. Carlisle’s only solution was to keep guard around Bella’s house at all times.

“Another protection detail?” Rosalie asked.

“Rosalie,” Carlisle warned.

“No— she’s right,“ Bella agreed, “You can’t protect me, my dad, and search for the intruder.”

“And for Victoria,” Rosalie pressed.

“And keep yourselves fed.” Bella finished.

Alice sighed, “We’ve also gotta watch Kai... I invited her over for dinner tomorrow.”

Rosalie let out a scoff, “Perfect.” She whispered under her breath

“I’m not gonna let you be here unprotected—,” said Edward.

“—and I’m not gonna let you starve,” Bella responded strongly, “And besides, I wouldn’t be unprotected. I have...”

“Who?” Edward asked.

-

“That’ll be $4.25” Kai said to the little boy who was currently scrambling his pocket for an extra dollar, though huffed when he could only muster $3.00.

The boy placed his $3.00 sheepishly on the counter while searching for change with his other hand. Kai smiled softly to herself, shook her head and handed him his bagged items anyway, “don’t worry about it,” she whispered to him with a soft grin. He thanked her gratefully and skipped out of the store to his friends waiting outside. She watched as they celebrated the snacks and candies with a fist bump, riding away happily on their bikes and scooters.

“That was nice of you,” said a voice behind the counter. Kai jumped, almost forgetting there was another customer, thought relaxed as she looked into the eyes of Seth.

She shrugged, “He’s young.”

Seth agreed with a soft “yeah,” as he placed his items on the counter.

“So uh...” he started, scratching the back of his neck nervously, “when are you off?”

Kai chuckled to herself softly, “Umm.. about 10 minutes from now... why? What’s up?” She asked

“Oh! Nothing I just— I mean— I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang for a little bit... that’s all,” Seth asked, prepared for rejection as he recalled the conversation they had just days before.

“Yeah uh...” she agreed, tucking a strand of hair behind her hair, eyes focused on the screen that calculated the total, “I can meet you outside in a little bit— that’s $12.76 by the way.”

“Okay! Yeah I’ll just be out there,” he said while swiping his card, eyes also focused on the machine in front of him. Their efforts to avoid eye contact were evident.

Kai nodded, lips pressed into a tight line awkwardly, “Alright... I’ll see you in a bit,” she said while swiftly bagging the receipt and handing him the bag. Their fingers touched upon the small exchange, but they both decided not to react as Seth left the store.

She heard a scoff from her co-worker who was restocking Trolli snacks in the aisle in front of her, “C’mon dude,” she shook her head, laughing at the cute yet awkward encounter.

“What?” Kai questioned astoundingly.

Her co-worker, Joanne smiled at her, “that was cute.”

Kai only shook her head, “no” while smiling softly to herself.

-

“Have you tried these?” Seth asked, holding up a brightly colored bag of orange chips, the Chinese characters bolded with cartoon pictures of little kids.

Kai shook her head, “Nah, what are they?”

“They’re like... cheese chips. Here try one they’re amazing,” he offered, opening the bag to her. Kai took a single cheese ring between her fingertips.

Her eyes widened, “Dude, they’re really good— what the heck!”

Seth laughed, “I told you!”

“It’s cheesy but like...” Kai’s brows furrowed, trying to find the words.

“Sweet too, huh?” Seth finished. Kai agreed enthusiastically.

They sat for a few moments just enjoying each others company, finishing lots and lots of snacks, and playing paper football with what used to be the receipt.

“So if you don’t mind me asking,” Seth began, his eyes concentrating on the goal created by Kai’s fingers, “where are you from?” He flicked the paper and watched it fly right in the middle of the goal.

Kai huffed. He’d made about a hundred goals while she made maybe six.

“Hawaii,” she answered simply, eyes much more focused on the goal now made by Seths’ fingers. She squinted intensely, trying her best to finally made the goal. She flicked and—

“What the heck man?!” Kai exclaimed, arms flailing in frustration as she looked at him incredulously. Seth let out the loudest laugh, “I’m sorry! I just wanted to see how you’d react,” he cackled. Kai would have definitely made it perfectly in the center, but Seth moved the goal right at the last moment, making it another miss for her.

Kai stood up, “Alright. You know what?” She threatened jokingly. Seth watched as she walked around the table, a mischievous yet playful smile on her face, and wrapped her arms around his neck in a lock and swung him side to side.

“Ahh! Ahh! I surrender! I’m sorry!” Seth feigned defeat. Kai’s not-so-tight grip loosened, as they laughed together. Her arms still were around him, only they lowered to sit above his shoulders. Seth enjoyed the feeling for just a moment, holding onto her arms still— and it was gone the second he realized.

“Sorry,” Kai sheepishly went to sit back down.

Seth smiled brightly at her, kicking her feet daringly, “Don’t be.”

“Are you trying to play footsies?” Kai asked, an uncontrollable smile adorned her face.

“Am I?” Seth challenged.

Their toes making a ruckus as they tried to see who could scuff who’s shoes more, until the game eventually wore. Kai’s phone buzzed and she slipped it out of her pocket, her head cocked back confusedly.

“What is it?” Seth asked.

“It’s Bella,” she answered, “she wants to know if I wanted to hang out with her and her friend Angela... but I don’t know how she got my number.”

Seth shrugged, “maybe Alice gave it to her,”

Kai nodded, “maybe.”

-

AAAAAAAND We’re back!! Yes, I am back to writing this and although this chapter is short, I will have more up soon! I apologize to all the people who were reading this because its been literally a year since the last update! I know it’s not a lot, but I still hope you will enjoy!

@coffees-and-constellations @rosalies-hale @sunflowerspectre @snazzydobrik @hvitserk-ragnarssons-slave @buckysjuicyplums @britty443

[poppibranchlover]

Nine Lives, One Fight - Part 24

The story: Deep in the forest of Troll Town, there lies a mysterious tiny purple mushroom that has a secret magical ability. King Peppy calls this mushroom forbidden for all Trolls to go near it. One day, while Branch is out in the woods doing his survival research studying, he encounters it and, not knowing it is a regular mushroom, decides to harvest it and bring it home. But in the next morning, its magic effects transform him into a small blue cat! After being sent to the animal pound, his girlfriend, Poppy, finds him and decides to adopt him, although not recognizing it is Branch. Desperate to finish his research project due for a special event invented by Poppy, Branch is forced to learn how to behave like a pet cat and must figure out what caused him to become one.

You already seen what had happened in Part 23. Now get ready for Part 24!:

The next morning, Poppy and Branch went for a morning stroll in Troll Village. After a few minutes of their time, they stop at a corner which lies an enormous green tree root. Poppy settled her backpack down and unpacked everything that she brought along; cans of cat food, a ball of yarn, lots of cat toys and tuna sandwiches. She spent her time taking care of Branch, giving him kibble for him to eat and toys for him to play.

Branch enjoyed most of his time with Poppy, even when he is now a cat. He wished he could even speak with her someday, but he just couldn’t feel like he wanted to. After all, he liked behaving like Poppy’s pet cat for the rest of his life because he gets to enjoy her daily routine of petting his soft and cuddly blue fur.

He hopped onto Poppy’s lap and took a nap, yawning and stretching before closing his eyes. Smiling, Poppy gently caresses his fur, making him purr. “PUUUUURRRRRR….. PURRRRRRRRRRR……PURRRR….”

Branch loved the way she usually pets his fur. It felt wonderful! He liked to see if this can last forever...until he and Poppy heard a trio of voices.

It was Biggie, Smidge and Guy Diamond!

The three Trolls approached them, chatting anxiously. It was when Poppy heard these news that she felt fear invading her, trying to keep her cool.

“Haven’t you heard what Peppy told us about what really happened to Branch?!” Biggie cried. “I can’t believe he had died after he touched the mushroom!”

Guy gasped in horror. “Oh no! What if Poppy knows about this? I’m afraid she’ll be grief-stricken to hear the terrible news!” he said as he panicked, pulling his hair.

Smidge tried to calm the two Trolls down. “Well, we’ll have to tell her truth,” she said in a grave voice. “I’m fairly disappointed how losing a friend would turn out.”

Poppy and Branch walked up to their friends, looking very disappointed at what they’ve been hearing.

“Guys?” Poppy asked, trying to get their attention. “What’s going on?”

Biggie stepped forward, feeling like it wasn’t easy to say the bad news to her. He simply tried to say “Poppy, are you feeling okay that…Branch is gone?”

Branch felt a wave of shock and sadness over his face as he listened.

“I think so, Biggie,” Poppy said, fiddling with her fingers nervously. Eventually, she moved on to the next subject. “But what’s more important now is that my dad is forming a larger investigation team that will eventually find more evidence of the missing Archaeo morphisis.”

Guy just shrugged. “I don’t think it was a good idea,” he replied. “It might be really hard for more Trolls to look for more clues related to the incident.”

“I guess so...” Poppy muttered, stroking Branch’s hair. “I bet any of us can try our luck finding it.”

Seeing the face she had been making right now, Biggie, Smidge and Guy stared at her. They knew she was hiding something from them, and understood perfectly if she did not want to talk about it. But it was obvious that she loved Branch!

Biggie looked down at Branch, who was now busy cleaning himself by licking his paw. “First of all, can I ask you a question regarding your pet cat?” he asked, pointing at him.

“Yes, why?” Poppy asked the big Troll. “What…what do you think about keeping a pet?”

The question had slightly surprised her friends. Silence had started between them, until Biggie put an end to it. “When I heard your cat meowing in the animal shelter during Mr. Dinkles’ vet checkup, he didn’t look very happy there. It looked like a child who wanted to play with you,” he explained.

Poppy felt somehow relieved. At least some could see what she had seen.

Smidge began to explain to her. “Second of all, why did his face look a lot like Branch’s?” She pointed at him, who was scratching himself intensely with his back paw, working a spot just behind his neck.

Poppy looked down at her cat, not daring to blurt something scary to her friends. She waved her hands back and forth with embarrassment. “Hehe…what’s the difference between Mr. Tickle or Branch?” she asked, giggling nervously. “They both look alike…a matter of factly.” She rubbed her chin, as though she might be crazy thinking that her cat might really be Branch, or maybe she was not so sure that the cat might be his identical twin.

Guy scratched his head as a new thought knocked around inside it. “If your cat and your friend really look the same, why don’t you tell us more about Branch’s mysterious disappearance?” he asked.

Branch shrank back with embarrassment. He nudged at Poppy’s side in order to make her think of something.

She took a deep breath and casually said “Don’t worry, guys! I’m sure Branch will be fine. I was just taking care of my pet cat, and that’s all.” He raised her hands up, showing her palms. Her right hand had a little cat scratch scar, the one Branch had accidentally made during their argument yesterday.

At the sight of the scar, the three Trolls gasped in horror! “Oh my gah!” Smidge cried. “What is that in your hand?”

“What?” Poppy asked, wanting to know what they’re worried about until she noticed her scar. Shrieking, she hid her hand, embarrassed. “That’s not what you’ve been thinking.”

“Poppy, I can sense that something’s wrong with your pet,” Guy said. “What did he do to you?”

“He didn’t do anything wrong to me!” Poppy protested. “It’s just a cute ordinary pet cat, like most cats!”

As Branch watched her talk with her friends, a wave of guilt came over him. But it wasn’t because he had scratched her hand, it was because he just wanted Poppy to recognize him. He’d been so distracted on the Show-and-Tell festival that he’d forgotten that cats are not signed in for this party, and now he had let everyone down.

As Biggie, Smidge and Guy continued to rant about Branch’s disappearance in front of her, hearing all these was all too much for Poppy. Slowly, she packed her things and walked away, with Branch trailing after her. Noticing this, the three Trolls stopped her.

“Hey, Poppy,” Biggie asked. “Where are you going?”

“Yeah, your dad was arranging you to lead your investigation team today,” Guy reminded her. “Don’t you have anything else planned?”

Poppy and Branch stopped in their tracks and turned back. “Uh, it’s just that I need to give Mr. Tickle some space for now,” Poppy said, happy to have an excuse. “Talk to you guys, later!”

Then she and Branch walk away. Biggie, Smidge and Guy watched them go, wondering how strange their queen has been acting lately.

“That went…quite well,” Smidge muttered grimly to herself.

Just then, Cooper burst from out of nowhere. “Hey, guys! What did I miss?!” he asked. Then he spotted a can of spilled cat kibble that Branch has been eating earlier and crowed “Ooh! Kibble!”

He lowered his head with his long neck and started eating the kibble in huge chomps. Biggie, Smidge and Guy watched him eat in great horror.

“Cooper, don’t eat that!” Guy screamed, his glittery auto-tune voice shimmering wildly in a panic.

“Oh god!” Biggie cried. “Mr. Dinkles, don’t watch!” He tried to cover his pet worm’s eyes from this epic abomination.

“Oh, completely disturbing!” Smidge shrieked.

After Cooper devoured some of the cat food, his tummy suddenly grumbled...loudly. URRRKK!!!

“Uh-oh!” With that, Cooper began to sweat, and an embarrassed expression spread over his face. He quickly ran off, yelling with his mouth full. “I’M OUTTA HERE!!!”

After he left in a flash, Smidge slapped her face and shook her head. “Sheesh!” she grumbled with frustration. “When are you gonna learn how to live in a healthy diet?!”

In another part of the village, Poppy laid out her scrapbooking materials on the ground and began to make a new scrapbook of her own. Cutting felt with scissors, she turned to see Branch, who was gnawing on her tuna sandwich he was trying to pull out of her backpack.

“This is the perfect spot for scrapbooking, Mr. Tickle!” she said, sighing happily as she cut a piece of blue felt, making a miniature scrapbook version of her cat.

While Poppy got busy, Branch pulled the sandwich out of her bag, chewing and gnawing hungrily at it. He loved the smell of tuna stuffed in this delicious treat that he kept gnashing on the bread and the stacked food slices, unaware of what Poppy is planning to put into her scrapbook.

When Poppy saw what he was doing, she displayed a teasing smile on her face. Branch looked back at her, still holding the tuna sandwich in his mouth.

“Mr. Tickle, what are you doing with my sandwich?” Poppy asked, giggling. “You’re hungry now?”

Branch shrugged, showing no sign of shame at all. He went back to eating the sandwich, and Poppy just laughed at him. Then she took the sandwich from his mouth and held it in her hands. Half of it had been chomped by Branch’s hungry little teeth!

Branch reached out a paw to the sandwich, but Poppy lifted her hand higher away from him, still holding on to it. “Oh, silly little kitty!” she said with a laugh. “You know there’s enough for both of us to share!”

Poppy took a bite on her sandwich, leaving out little Trolly tooth marks in it. She saved the rest for Branch, who bit into it when she handed it over to him.

“Awwww!!” Poppy said as she watched him eat. She would have thought that her pet cat also loved tuna, just like her boyfriend. But she remembered what her friends told her about why her cat looked a lot like Branch because of seeing his face for the first time, and she knew she doesn’t want to go further on the question why Branch and Mr. Tickle look the same.

Shaking off the bad memories, Poppy pulled the sandwich back so she can have some for herself, but Branch grabbed hold of it, wanting some more for himself. After a little struggle with their one single sandwich, they looked lovingly at each other for a moment. Both of their eyes shone with great love within their hearts.

After Poppy set the sandwich aside, Branch knew it might be the perfect time for them to kiss. He closed his eyes and brought his lips forward, but Poppy moved her fingers and brought her hands close to his chest, causing him to tumble on his back. He laughed as she tickled him in his belly, which is the most supremely ticklish part of his entire furry body.

“Nothing like a good tickle can keep you happy!” Poppy said happily as she kept running down her fingers to his little blue tummy. “Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy!”

“Hahaha! That tickles!” Branch said through his laughter, enjoying the feeling of being rubbed in the belly. “HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! HA HA HA!!”

As she continued tickling Branch, Poppy can clearly see that her cat seems to be making the same facial expressions as her boyfriend. She stopped for a moment to think why Branch and her cat look the same, and she kept wondering if there were some cats that look just like her own somewhere in the village. But could her friends really be right about that?

Poppy had no time to think some more because her dad showed up from just a few feet from her. “Hey, Poppy!” King Peppy called to her daughter. “Can I have a word with you, please?”

She stood up to hear his voice and said “Oh, sure! What is it you want to tell me, Dad?”

Then she walked up to the old king, leaving Branch still laying down on his back on the ground. He moved his paws around in a desperate attempt to get back on his legs and meowed for Poppy to come back to him, as if he wanted more tickles in his tummy. “Meow? Meeooww, meeeoooww!!”

Just then, a tiny blue butterfly fluttered by and made a gentle landing on Branch’s nose. It sat there, moving its little wings up and down. Branch stared at it for a second, and he tried reaching out a paw to his face to catch the butterfly, causing it to fly away.

Now having the sudden urge to catch it, Branch got up and chased after the flying little bug, pouncing towards it with his paws outstretched.

Meanwhile, Poppy approached her father, who was holding a confidential letter in his hands. “What is it, Dad?” she asked.

King Peppy handed the note to her. “The Troll Disappearance Investigation is arranging some leadership assignments for you,” he explained. “As Queen, you shall be able to lead them during their cases.”

“So it means I’ll find more clues related to this week’s incident?” asked Poppy as she read the contents of the paper written with bold handwriting.

“Not only that incident about the Archaeo morphisis, all of the TDI’s assignments,” said Peppy. “They’re looking forward to promoting you as head minister.”

Poppy couldn’t believe what she had heard so far. She sprang her arms wide with excitement. “That’s wonderful, Dad!” she said. “I’m being promoted for the investigation club! I can’t wait to lead everyone on during their cases!”

“And I know you will do well as a good leader,” King Peppy said, putting an arm on her shoulder.

As Poppy and her dad talked, Branch ran past them, chasing the little butterfly around the area. It landed on a rock, but he caught up to it and pounced for it, making it flutter away from him again.

Poppy giggled as she watched her cat play with the butterfly. She turned to King Peppy and asked “Do you think pets are allowed in the TDI department?”

Branch stopped chasing the butterfly to hear her sentence. Happy that he is no longer chasing it, the butterfly flew away to its freedom in the woods.

Poppy wanted her father to agree to the point if Branch will come along with her to the investigation agency, but instead, King Peppy just shook his head sadly. “Sorry, Poppy,” he said. “But the TDI has rules against pets.”

“Why not?” Poppy said anxiously. “I don’t want my cat to get lonely in my pod!” 

At the sound of that, Branch walked up to her side and looked up at her with his big pleading eyes, agreeing with her statement. “Meow!” he begged.

“Yes, but one of the agents was highly allergic to cats, so I suggest you put on a clean dress and go without your pet cat,” King Peppy explained.

“Meow...” Branch meowed sadly at those awful news. He just wanted to accompany Poppy during her job, but since the TDI won’t allow any animals, it was now forbidden for him to go there because he is a cat. He sat down and hung his head with disappointment.

Stroking Branch’s head, Poppy reluctantly agreed to the point at what’s best for her pet, and she certainly doesn’t want some Trolls who suffer some allergies to swell up from the presence of a furry animal. Branch thought about the same thing too, as he had been a big fan of keeping Trolls safe from danger, especially preventing them to consume allergy sickness.

Sighing, Poppy nodded to her father and said “Okay, fine.” She turned to Branch and told him “I’m sorry, bud. I guess you’re gonna have to stay at home.”

King Peppy held on to his cane with anticipation. “It’s good that you are listening, Poppy,” he said as he prepared to leave. “Meet you in the TDI’s conference office in a few minutes?”

“Sure,” Poppy replied in an unsure voice. “I…I will be there.”

“Very well,” King Peppy said kindly. Then he walked away, leaving Poppy and Branch alone in their spot in the woods.

“Meow?” Branch meowed with complete concern and worriedness, unable to believe that there will be no more quality time between him and Poppy. She petted his head to comfort him as he looked up at her anxiously.

“Sorry, Mr. Tickle. I’m afraid I have more queen duties to be done rather than spending time with you,” Poppy explained as she continued caressing his hair. “But you must understand that I’m now the Queen and I need to be more hardworking and busy, is that okay?”

She rubbed Branch’s chin, but he is still feeling very sad. It was the first time Branch could remember being unable to enjoy one of Poppy’s usual habit of petting him, and he knew he is going to miss everything he had spent with her, such as how she took such good care of him, how she fed him nicely and how she usually rubs his belly.

“I guess this was goodbye,” Branch said softly with a sigh, staring down at the ground. He wished to spend more time with Poppy, but she had other tasks to tend to because she’s the leader of Troll Village.

Poppy patted Branch’s forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back after a few minutes,” she said, kissing his cheek. “I love you so much, my sweet kitty.”

Branch turned away from her, refusing to see the look of her reassuring face. Deep down, he didn’t like how this is being planned.

                                             To Be Continued...

                                          Stay tuned for Part 25!

[serenagaywaterford]

Oops... I think I messed up, have no idea if I sent that ask or not... anyway, my question is if you’ve seen the play by play people posted on Reddit of episode 11. If so, what do you think? And then specifically going forward, how do you think the June/Serena relationship is gonna be, if at all.

Both came through :) 

Yeah, that play by play and the Aussie synopsis… synposes??? were what I was taking into consideration. (Not those other weird spoilers that may have just been trolly fakes?)

I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT PLAY BY PLAY TBH

But mostly, I hate 2 things: Everything they’ve written for Serena. And the fact apparently the Canadian border is….everywhere? Okay, this is just an really stupid ongoing problem with THT that is so nitpicky for me tbh. I just… I could literally rant about the border for like 40 pages rn but I won’t.

As for Winslow’s attempted rape of June… *sigh* I just… Really? Is that what I need to see? I knew that was coming cos the Israeli trailer shows it lol. WHAT THE FUCK IS SO GODDAMN SPECIAL ABOUT JUNE? I’m not saying that to be mean but seriously? This season every single man seemed hellbent on bending over backwards for her. Fred’s always been weirdly preoccupied and predatory. But wtf Stabler *insert Law & Order sound*? Like he wants what Fred wants??? And Fred wants what Lawrence has… and like, there’s Serena in this equation too. Everybody is so damn obsessed with June. Obviously Gay Stabler (can I even call him that anymore?) isn’t doing it out of lust. It’s power and control.

Anyway.

I am literally 28392309 times more interested in the Marthas’ plan than June’s. Sorry.

I still hang onto a tiny shred of hope about Serena’s Secret Master Plan For Revenge–but seriously, her fucking Fred is just… makes me pretty much call that as impossible. I know, I know you could go into a whole thing about the psychology of domestic abuse victims, and how they often do swing back into “love” or whatever with their abusers. And often it’s frustrating as FUCK to see from the outside. But it happens over and over, usually until either they escape the relationship or they are killed by it. So, Serena being manipulated into this fantasy romance again isn’t exactly unrealistic. It’s just unwanted. I don’t want to see that. And I REALLY FUCKING DESPISE THT for glorifying that and romanticising it, or I dunno, just ignoring the violent assault(s) AND the first 4 episodes of S3 entirely. 

I don’t think this show is making any sort of nuanced commentary on the psychology of domestic abuse. I think they’re literally just writing all the opposite things that most people want to see.

Cos, let’s break it down:

If you hate Serena, this romantic portrayal is boring AF and repulsive.

If you like Serena, this romantic portrayal is aggravating and offensive.

Who wants to see Serena fuck Fred in a tender way?

ABSOLUTELY ZERO PEOPLE EVER.

ZERO.

I hate Fiennes too btw. I’d just like to throw that unfair nugget out there. Cos I feel like if such a name actor wasn’t the one in that role, this may have been slightly different. Certainly less sympathetic to Fred at any rate. Fred is a low, pathetic, disgusting creature and I am just angry that I have to spend ANY time watching him say or do anything at all. I just want him dead and gone. But oh no, we can’t do that to Joseph Fiennes. 

-_-

They keep hinting that Serena has something going on… but I’ll believe it when I see it. And I won’t see it.

But like… Why would Serena say goodbye to Rita like that if she thought they were just going to some fucking farmhouse in rural Vermont or whatever? So… Yeah. Little hints. Can’t get any hopes up at all.

And, even if Serena is conning Fred and working with Tuello (best case scenario), WE DON’T NEED A SEX SCENE. WE DON’T. THERE IS NO REASON FOR IT. Other than to disgust and/or bore viewers.

Anyway

About June/Serena, I think that’s pretty dead in the water tbh. Especially if Serena is having romantic tender disgusting fucking sex with that abusive fungal pondscum. Even ignoring the non-canon romantic shippery aspects of June/Serena, I don’t think we’ll get to see much at all cos they’re 100 of miles apart again with totally different stories now. I actually don’t think they’ll have any more scenes together this season. So… yeah. I think this is where the fork happens.

Either Serena is working with the US/CDN gov’ts and is bringing in the bigger fish, and then staying in Canada–or she’s legit arrested for good and therefore in prison. Either way, she’s nowhere near June and doesn’t seem to be for the rest of the season according to the synopses. The finale: “Fred and Serena have to adapt to their new life” ?!!?! Excuse me while I hurl. Both vomit and sharp objects at the TV.

And…

I’m just really angry?

It feels like they’ve ripped the heart out of the show. I’m not saying just because June/Serena has been murdered, but because the stories are all over the place, are saying really creepy things, and the characters are like… I don’t even know anymore, and everybody is fractured all over the place. It doesn’t feel cohesive. It doesn’t feel like they know what they’re doing and the writers are just flinging a bunch of shit at a wall and seeing what sticks.

Not to mention whatever “tragedy” is gonna happen to Luke, Moira, and Emily.

So, basically, S4 may have been renewed but… meh. I think this is likely gonna be it for me tbh. I can’t see myself sticking around for another season of this fuckery. All it does is make me sad and angry and frustrated and offended, so yeah.

There’s still a chance I’ll change my mind, but to be frank, I can’t really see how they could possibly salvage my interest in this show anymore if this is the direction they’re going. And that makes me sad. It’s like when you know you need to break up with someone but can’t do it right away… We’ll just finish this vacation together and then I’m dumping you, sorta thing.

[thebibliomancer]

Dark Crystal Age of Resistance ep 5 liveblog

“She Knows All the Secrets”

Just a stream of thoughts.

I can’t believe I have to print a retraction on a liveblog but I’ve been apparently assuming that the General was just a younger, less fashionable SkekUng and this is not the case. The General is another Skeksis entirely so needs to go on the list of new Skeksis. I also made a lot of comments about the Chamberlain and the General fighting like ‘oh these two are always like that’ but the Chamberlain is just always like that with a lot of people apparently.

Anyway.

So Rian’s dad died and Rian was captured by the hunter. And now she’s been hung upside down like the Hunter is a Wampa but like a temperate zone Wampa.

The Hunter: 'Cool, you’re awake now I can skin you alive'

You’re creepy, Hunter.

And of all things, Chamberlain shows up to temporarily save Rian. Because he needs to drag Rian back to the castle to rub in the General’s face so the Emperor will like him again. And so he can get his chair back. Standing up at dinner time is so hard.

The Hunter: “Pathetic, you hunt a chair!”

Chamberlain: “No! I hunt power!”

Hunter begrudgingly lets Chamberlain take Rian but warns of pointy reckoning if he doesn’t get his trophy in the end.

And then Chamberlain frisks Rian and drinks his girlfriend in front of him. Very rude.

Its probably not supposed to be funny when Rian dramatically cries out NOOOOOO when Chamberlain smashes the empty bottle. But the bottle was empty. It was just a minor dick move compared to, y’know, drinking your dead girlfriend.

And the Chamberlain cackles like its the funniest dick move he ever done did.

Hey, Chamberlain is taking Rian to the castle where cool sister Tavra and Naia are heading possibly with Kylan. To rescue Gurjin. That will probably come into play.

So the All-Maudra now believes in the Blight because a Landstrider herd went crazy and busted out of its pen. Before she thought it was people lying to get away with a small tithe because she’s a jerk who didn’t follow up on that until now.

Wow Tavra, Naia, and Kylan got to the castle fast.

Cool Sister Tavra happens upon the Emperor….. I don’t know, freebasing the planet? Absorbing evil energy into his emperor staff?

DEET! I forget where in her quest she’s at at this point.

Oh, she’s heading to Vapran city Ha’ra but Hup, The First Podling Paladin, asks her not to go. He’s afraid for her and wants to protect her. Aww. And he’s feeling insecure because his sword is a spoon.

Hup is valid.

I guess Paladins are like the All-Maudra’s royal guard or something.

Deet: “You’re on your way to Ha’ra to become a paladin but if you ask me you already are.”

Aww. You have no power to grant that but lets go with it.

Pfft, I half knew it had to happen at some point but a Skeksis complaining about how low Gelfling ceilings are still cracked me up.

You bastards are just too tall, you tall bastards.

General: ‘Hey whats this?’

All-Maudra: “That’s a unomoth chrysalis, General. The sigil of the Vapra clan.”

General: -immediately eats it-

Skeksis really don’t have any impulse control…

He doesn’t even likes it and spits it out like its broccoli which makes the whole ‘let me eat something i was just told is symbolically important’ even worse.

Ritual Master: -shakes head, wonders if its too late to pretend he doesn’t know the General-

Geez, the General really is just a SkekUng stand in. He’s just doing Garthim-Master stuff and having the dynamics that Garthim-Master do. I don’t mind new Skeksis but why’d they make him so much like an existant one?

So the Arathim, those spider people, are apparently agitating and the Skeksis….. Require….. The seven strongest Gelfling from each clan?

Ritual Master: “Of course we cannot guarantee the volunteers’ safe return.”

Is this the best thing you could come up with to disappear the fifty Gelfing a trine you need to drink? I mean, its almost smart. War with spider people. Casualties are bound to happen and bodies are bound to disappear. Its a good cover. But this murder plan could be handled better.

Also what could be handled better is not sending the General to ever talk with people.

All-Maudra: ‘Maybe the spider people are pissed off by the Blight’

General: ‘THERE IS NO BLIGHT GIVE VOLUNTEERS’

And then when the All-Maudra leaves he goes and grabs another chrysalis and the Ritual Master pleads “Don’t” and then he cronches it anyway and the Ritual Master just shakes his head and sighs.

Oh I guess Chamberlain didn’t walk all the way into the woods to intercept the Hunter. He took a carriage. Wonder who’s driving.

But he needs Rian to ‘confess’ that he was ‘lying’ about the Skeksis

Rian: “I’ll make sure all of Thra knows what you are!”

Chamberlain: “And what are Skeksis, hmm?”

Rian: “Evil!”

Chamberlain: -giggles- “Delightful!”

Chamberlain: “How are Skeksis evil? Please, you tell”

Rian: “You killed Mira!”

Chamberlain: “All things kill”

Rian thought this was a carriage ride but its really Philosophy 101 with Professor Chamberlain. Moralllllll relativismmm.

Sometimes animals eat animals so therefore its okay to drink soul goo. Just the circle of life.

Rian: “There was nothing natural about what you did to Mira!”

Chamberlain: -pet peeved- “Death is unnatural! Death is cruel joke! Death mocks, life, mocks Skeksis!”

Rian touched a nerve there, huh?

Also Chamberlain: ‘Hey you’re as bad as us. You just watched as we drank your girlfriend. And left your friend behind. And let your dad die for you!’

Wow, I’ve never thought Chamberlain could break someone by talking because I figured that people would either go ‘you’re full of bullshit’ or literally just hit him. I guess with a captive audience he can talk long enough that he manages to say some pretty crushing Sounds Like Truth Bombs.

And now: Court Drama, Gelfling Style. Seladon is mad at Brea and Brea is mad at Seladon and there’s a giant animatronic rock monster who is also a part-time phonograph for Yodas.

Seladon: “What happens to the Gelflings if the Skeksis fall?”

About the same as now except the All-Maudra takes all the tithes instead of just skimming off the top? The Gelflings are very able to be fucked up on their own.

So now mom is maaaad.

If nothing else the All-Maudra should be incredibly curious that someone built a secret room under her throne. Like, logistically.

And then All-Momdra sends Seladon off to check on livestock for Blight. And Seladon is kind of Catraesque and pins all her emotional state on the positive reinforcement that mom just won’t give without immediately undercutting it. Poor Not Cool Sister.

So Chamberlain’s argument is that if Rian doesn’t silence the whisperings of rebellion, there’s going to be a rebellion and a bunch of Gelflings are going to die. Honestly, he’s just looking out for Gelflings’ best interests! He’s a friend, honest!

Chamberlain: “Is Gelfling slave if Gelfing not know it is slave?”

Slave is a bit much. Livestock maybe. BECAUSE THEY’RE DRINKING THEM.

But Chamberlain still being philosophy class.

At least, Chamberlain’s carriage ride of philosophical wonderment is very much like a philosophy class I had in college.

Rian: “We aren’t your pets”

Chamberlain: “False”

Based on difference in lifespan. “The choice is pets or enemies. Choose wisely.”

Rian: “And if I say what you want, will you stop draining Gelfling?”

Chamberlain: “Cannot promise.”

Heck of a time to be honest about things, SkekSil.

Rian: “Then I refuse.”

Chamberlain: “ALL GELFLING LOSE OR FEW GELFING LOSE ALL! WAR IS END!”

Its like the trolly problem, except with genocide. Yay?

Chamberlain is like that bad parent that catches a kid smoking and makes them smoke the whole pack or eat the whole cake. Rian defiantly says that war won’t be the end of the Gelfling if Gelfling win so Chamberlain cuts his bonds and goes ‘then do it bitch’

The Hunter is going to kick Chamberlain’s ass.

Oh, no. Chamberlain got into his head earlier and made him ashamed of running from his problems so now Rian won’t run out of the carriage. Damn, SkekSil, you actually managed to manipulate someone holy shit

Chamberlain: “Is difficult being voice of reason in such crazed world.”

You endearingly smug prick.

Aughra time.

Aughra: “Stones are no help, bah! Leaves have nothing to say! NO HELP! Bah! No help! Smoke is no help! Mystic ways don’t work! Aughra ways don’t work! Old ways don’t work!”

Thank goodness for this sequence of Aughra failing at augury.

Now she’s talking about her personal problems to an uncomprehending and uncaring animal. Aka the Thurma ways. (Which also don’t work)

And now she’s talking to a tree!

Thankfully trees do talk, even if only to dunk on people. And the tree heals the small animal she’s been ranting to.

I guess Sanctuary Trees can Just Do That. But only if you ask nicely?

SOCIAL LINK GO. Aughra is now friends with A Tree.

Little Deet in a Big City.

Time for more racisms!

So the Vapran gelflings of Ha’ra are kind of like the Hunger Games Capitol? They look like ambulatory cakes.

Deet: “I guess I could take a bath?”

Hup: -does crimes-

Deet: “How do I look?”

Hup: “Deet Always Beautiful.”

Hup, you’re too good for this sinful Thra.

Hup: -says things-

Vapran Guard: “.......... Yeah okay”

Persuasion roll 20

All-Maudra: ‘oh neat a giant rock man’

Annnd the General and Ritual Master doing an inspection of the war volunteers slash drinking victim candidates.

General: “This volunteer’s teeth are very disappointing.”

Ritual Master: “Weak haunches too”

General: “Whats wrong with that one’s face?”

Ritual Master: “I think it’s just old.”

General: “Well, I don’t like it. Get it out of here!”

Weirdly humorous scene about two lizard monsters deciding who to literally drink…

Gelfing: “I’m not that old…”

Oh cool I thought it couldn’t get creepier but the Ritual Master is literally licking his chops and talking about vigor.

Holy crap, Naia rescued Gurjin off-screen, somehow found out that Rian had been captured and then rescued him!

(Where the hell is Tavra then?)

But, like, Rian had decided not to run when he had that chance so why is he doing it now?

This is all very perplexing.

I guess it gives us an exciting action sequence on top of a racing pillbug carriage but. What's his motivation here??

Gurjin: “Join the guard they said! Nothing ever goes wrong in the Castle they said!”

Cool, Gurjin is ready to be a Warcraft unit.

EXCITING ACTION SCENE DISCONNECT PILLBUG WHEELS FROM CARRIAGE

Chamberlain: ‘Huh this sure is terrifying. I’d better speed up MORE’

-Carriage flips-

EXCITING NONSENSICAL ACTION SCENEEEEEEE

Lets whoop triumphantly even though nothing made any sense!

Oh, hey Kylan. God, he’s so forgettable. He was the first person willing to dreamfast with Rian but he’s had like nothing to do since then and no real interactions so he’s just kinda There in some scenes. Gurjin and Naia even left him at camp instead of bringing him to the EXCITING ACTION SCENE’

I have to scroll up and relearn his name every time he shows up.

Kylan: “Oh you’ve returned!”

Rian: -panicking internally thinking who dis guy-

Kylan: “AND I MADE BROTH!”

Seladon is going to have Deet and Hup thrown out for, y’know, blatant impersonation, but Deet mentions the Blight and the Darkening and hell, Seladon is supposed to be investigating that and its easier to have exposition come to you.

But even though she’ll listen to them doesn’t mean she won’t be incredibly racist.

Seladon: “You spin quite a tale, Grottan. But do you offer any proof?”

Deet: “Dreamfast with me!” You know, that thing that should solve roughly half the problems in this plot?

Seladon: “Ugh when was the last time you washed your hands?”

Deet: “Why would I ever wash my hands?”

Aughra is also just sitting and waiting for the plot to come to her. Its good protagonisting if you can get it.

Rian: -spilling his sad story about his dad dying-

Kylan: -nodding, yes I am part of this conversation I am-

Oh, after nobody wanting to dreamfast everyone is dreamfasting at the same time at the slightest provocation.

Rian’s group dreamfasting around the campfire. Brea dreamfasting with her mom to show how she found Lore, and Seladon getting over herself to dreamfast with Deet.

And Aughra like. Accidentally broke into the same dreamfast channel? Because Rian finds himself, Deet, and Aughra in Dream Space with the Dream Space Dark Crystal.

And Aughra starts dancing.

Oh, its not just them. Its all the protagonists.

Brea: “The crystal! Its cracked, its missing a shard”

Aughra: “QUIET I’M NOT DONE”

Geez, Brea. Advance the plot on your own time.

Aughra gives everyone adjectives. Mighty nice.

Clever Brea. Proud All-Maudra. Fierce Naia. Wise Kylan and Gurjin.

Wait, Gurjin doesn’t even get his own adjective? He has to share one with the guy who has done one (1) thing so far??

No, he doesn’t even get to share. Its just Gurjin. Wow, Aughra. Wow. Not even like… Loyal Gurjin? Trusting Gurjin? Pretty good bro Gurjin?

Can’t he get no respect?

Aughra: “Dream Space is a spirit realm. The source of magic and prophecy.”

I’m going to crap myself if Yusuke Urameshi shows up.

Kylan, wanting to contribute: “The world within our world”

Oh. So thats why Gujin doesn’t get to be Loyal Gurjin.

Seladon is Loyal Seladon. Except she’s getting annoyed about all these people talking shit about the Skeksis.

Seladon: “This isn’t the will of Thra. This is a sordid plot of a power-hungry witch!”

All this emotional neglect has finally come to bear.

So Aughra just catapults her out of the dream.

And now Seladon is having Hup and Deet arrested and is going to warn the Skeksis.

WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU LOVED HER UNCRITICALLY ALL-MAUDRA

Aughra is using Dream Recapping to share all the exposition with everyone so people don’t need to talk or whatever. I guess that IS what dreamfasting is for.

So Rian is being sent to Ha’ra to join up with Brea and Deet and follow Lore to the Circle of the Suns to find a Plot Coupon.

And everyone else has to go and unite the clans.

I was going to say that dreamfasting sure makes it easy to convince people to age of resistance but hey Seladon is staying Team Skeksis.

Maybe instead of ejecting her from the dream, you should have let her see the big shared dreamfast memory recap with everyone else so she’d have more information about what the Skeksis are up to?

I was kind of hoping that Bad Mom All-Maudra would remain unconvinced and lead to a kind of civil war within the Gelfling but dreamfasting just makes it so hard to do this plot. You have to work around it in so many ways.

Seladon: “My lords, pardon the interruption but I must speak with you!”

Ritual Master, smoothly: “You are always welcome, princess”

General: “Which princess is this?”

Ritual Master: “Haven’t got a clue. They all look the same to me.”

All-Maudra, make Hup an official paladin dammit

All-Maudra: “No time for ceremony right now, podling. Innocent lives are at risk. Stand and prove the strength of your spoon by my side.”

Wow. You’re pretty cool when you want to be, All-Maudra.

Annnnd the All-Maudra, Deet, Hup, and Brea walk in RIGHT AFTER Seladon spills the beans to the Skeksis.

All-Maudra: “I am All-Maudra”

General: “You are All-Maudra because we allow you to be All-Maudra.”

Oh daaaaang. Is the show going to be like this? Make the bad parents barely likeable right before killing them off so they don’t have to address that they were kinda bad parents?

All-Maudra: “I have allowed you to buy my loyalty with cheap trinkets!” Yeah. You kinda were just dipping your fingers into the greed pool weren’t you? Do you want to maybe give some of that back to your people? I mean, you’re probably dead now but what were your long term plans about this?

All-Maudra is good at authoritatively telling the Skeksis to gtfo when she’s like not even a third of their height.

I mean, talking shit to a giant lizard crocodile man with a short temper who is barely able to be diplomatic and has a vested interest in keeping you silent goes about as well as you’d expect.

What a sworded end for an All-Maudra…

YOU GOT YOUR MOM KILLED SELADON.

She must be dead, she’s so still and lifeless. Wait, thats just puppet stuff.

Seladon, who is totally at fault, to Brea: “This is all your fault!”

Oh god dammit, Seladon is swiveling her desperate need for affirmation onto the Skeksis and having Deet, Hup, and Brea arrested as traitors.

Who would have thought sibling rivalry could go so bad. And after Cool Sister Tavra tried so hard to ease things between them.

And now Seladon is All-Maudra. Cue Everything You Ever.

“Here lies everything

The world I wanted at my feet

My victorys complete

So hail to the All-Maudra” doesn’t rhyyyyme.

We’re halfway through Age of Resistance so I guess some Age of Resisty had to start. Feels a bit sudden. Dreamfasting really does take out some of the busy work. But I guess Seladon is a big enough wrench that its not going to be just the Gelflings sitting up and kicking the Skeksis.

Team Ha’ra is all caught. Team Rian’s Friends I Guess are still oot and aboot but the Hunter is going to be peeved about not getting to cut out his tongue. So he presumably be coming. All vaguely shitty parents are now off the board. Just some emotionally complicated teens and some lizard crocodile men left. Also Aughra.

So. Hey. Maybe its not the time. But if Seladon doesn’t want to be in the Resisty can Gurjin have her title? Loyal Gurjin?

[themoonlightspotlight]

Hospital Muck

Before I start this blog post I want to confirm that this is no hate towards the NHS and definitely none towards the doctors, nurses and other staff working long, hard shifts in the hospitals. This is more of a rant about the government funding or rather, lack there of to the NHS. So anyway, my best friend recently just came out of hospital after being stuck in there for over two weeks. I won’t delve too deep into the details about why she went however thankfully she is out now and on the mend. During the two week period I tried my best to visit her most days for a couple of hours. I was often there at a meal time, so I got to see what can only be described as slop, that would be served to the patients for either breakfast, lunch or dinner. 

Now, I know everyone complains about hospital food but I didn’t quite realise how bad it actually was. The pictures above are what we took of some of the meals served. I understand that at the end of the day, at least they are being given a free meal so we shouldn’t complain as there are more important things hospitals could spend their money on. However, I can’t help but feel like if a little more effort and money went into the meals it would considerably help for a number of reasons. For example, on the ward that my friend was on there were a number of people who were suffering with gallstones (including my friend Hannah). All of the people who were diagnosed would get told by the doctors that they need to considerably decrease their intake of fatty foods (good and bad fats). Then when the food trolly came around the two options were always high fatty foods like fish and chips, steak pie and the worst of all a creamy tuna and sweetcorn pasta. Not to mention that everyday the only desert option was cake and custard. Which sounds nice but did get repetitive and again not ideal for someone who has been medically advised to not eat fatty foods. As you can see from the images, there are a few vegetables however, do not be fooled. Each piece of veg was boiled to the point that it was essentially mush, so not only did it taste horrible but all of the vitamins and nutrients were probably lost too. 

Luckily for Hannah, she had a lot of friends and family visiting and bringing her healthy and enjoyable meals. Sadly though there were many other patients who weren’t so fortunate and would have to eat these meals, even though they tasted horrible and weren’t doing their bodies any good in the fragile state they were in. There are a lot of things the government could increase their funding for when it comes to the NHS. An increase in staff is definitely one of the main priorities. The food situation in my opinion, is also important though. Feed the people better and healthier foods and they will recover better and faster. Feed them fatty and low nutritional foods (especially ones who have been medically advised to avoid these things) and they will struggle to recover half as fast. Therefore increasing their stay at hospital and overall costing the NHS more money. Maybe if we didn’t have a conservative health secretary and instead, someone who cared more about free health care, then the hundreds of struggles NHS workers and patients have to deal with would significantly decrease. 

[theazkabandreamer]

Harry’s Kindness

I’ve been thinking a lot about Harry’s kindness and how little he recieved whilst growing up with the Dursleys but he still had room in his heart for kindness at Hogwarts. Befriending Ron and Hermione, giving Neville courage, giving Ginny his Lockhart books.

One day, Harry is out shopping with the Dursley’s and Dudley had been given £100 as a treat for his Birthday, courtesy of Aunt Marge who was currently recovering from a sprained wrist after tripping over one of her Bulldogs.

As Harry and the Dursleys were making their way into the shopping centre, they spot an old man with a little dog outside, sitting down on a blanket with a small tin between them. He seemed to be wearing a very tatty cloak which seemed to offend Aunt Petunia who pursed her lips and sniffed disapprovingly as they passed him, ushering Dudley along so that he didn’t get too close to the old man.

“Filthy beggars,” Uncle Vernon muttered a little too loudly so that a couple of passers-by could hear him. “Why aren’t the Police clearing the streets of layabouts like that?”

He shot a nasty look at Harry as if it was all his fault that the man was there, but Harry was used to it by now so he didn’t respond.

“Can you spare some change?” The old man asked Uncle Vernon as he passed him. Uncle Vernon threw him a cold look and said loudly, “I haven’t got anything to give you, sir. Kindly refrain from pestering me and my family and never speak to us again.”

The man’s dog started growling at Uncle Vernon and baring its teeth.

“Easy boy,” The man said warningly, pulling on the dog’s lead.

Harry felt sorry for the old man and his dog as they made their way into the Shopping Centre. Plenty of people seemed to be giving him a wide berth and were muttering about him.

Harry knew what it was like to be treated like dirt, day in and day out. He had hoped when he grew older, that people would start to treat him with respect. But it seemed that no matter how old you were, there were always going to be people like Uncle Vernon who would continue to walk over you.

The Toy shop that they were heading to was full of people. Screaming children, gossiping mothers and fathers who were showing off and trying out the toys. Uncle Vernon and Dudley both elbowed their way through the crowd as Aunt Petunia and Harry were bringing up the rear. Harry looked around at all the toys and felt his insides burn with jealousy. He had never, not in the seven miserable years that he had spent living with the Dursleys, been given a single toy to play with. Toys didn’t last long at Number Four Privet Drive as Dudley was always breaking them and Harry was often used as target practice, being pelted with foam bullets and having to dodge cricket bats and other objects that were the flavour of the month.

The Dursleys spent ages looking at toys and Harry felt bored to tears. Dudley had a tantrum because the toy shop didn’t have the particular type of Action Man that he wanted and Uncle Vernon had an angry rant at the very apologetic manager who promised Uncle Vernon a discount the next time he shopped there. Aunt Petunia then dragged the family to the Supermarket where Harry kept a wide berth from Dudley who was still in an extremely bad mood and had already punched Harry because he was bored.

After they finished shopping, Aunt Petunia forced Harry to push the trolley to the car which was quite hard, as it was packed with plenty of cans of fizzy drinks for Dudley. Aunt Petunia barked at Harry to return the trolley and that’s when he saw it; Dudley had dropped some of his pocket money. Looking back at the Dursley’s to make sure they weren’t looking, Harry stooped and picked the notes up before returning the trolley. On his way, he passed the old man and the dog who was growling at a policeman who seemed to be telling the old man off. He had been there all day asking for money and it seemed his tin was still empty.

After putting the trolley back, Harry saw that the old man was still there and the policeman had gone. Harry looked at Dudley’s pocket money in his hand. Dudley had spent all day whining and throwing tantrums because he couldn’t get what he wanted. Did he really deserve to have it all? He never showed any appreciation and Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia often bent over backwards to please him and he would just throw it all in their faces.

Harry knew what he was going to do. Taking a deep breath, he cautiously approached the old man and the little dog. The dog looked at Harry, but it didn’t growl.

“Excuse me,” He said hesitantly. “I’ve got something for you.”

“For me?” The old man asked in wonder as Harry held his hand out with the money. “But what about your Cousin?”

“He doesn’t deserve it,” Harry said. “Dudley’s selfish and cruel and he’s got plenty of money. My Aunt and Uncle will probably give him some more.”

The old man’s brown eyes shined bright with tears as he took the money from Harry.

“Thank you,” He choked. “You’re too kind.”

“I thought it was the right thing,” Harry said. “Dudley’s not grateful for what he’s got and a lot of people are more worse off than he is. Besides, a little bit of kindness in this world isn’t too much to ask.”

Harry suddenly thought of his parents. He had never knew that and he was only a baby when they died in that car crash. Would they be proud of him?

The man’s dog was sniffing Harry and he responded by scratching it behind the ears. Harry was surprised that it wasn’t growling at him.

“He likes you,” The old man said quietly, looking at the dog who had his eyes shut.

“Why isn’t he growling at me?” Harry asked.

“He seems to know that you’re kind,” The old man said wisely. “You’re a special person you know, Harry.”

Just then, Harry heard Uncle Vernon’s voice.

“Hurry up, boy!” He called and Harry looked back at him. “What’s keeping you so long? Sabotaging the trollies?” He laughed at his own joke.

“Hang on,” Harry frowned, still glaring at Uncle Vernon. “How did you know my name?”

He turned back to the old man, but found that both the old man and his dog were gone as well as their blanket and tin. It was as if they were never there.

Puzzled, Harry turned and walked back to the car, a gust of wind whipping around the corner and ruffling his hair. Uncle Vernon shouted at him for taking too long, but Harry didn’t care. It was worth it.

As he lay in his Cupboard that night listening to Dudley throw another tantrum, Harry thought about what he had done. Given the chance, he would’ve done it again. The Dursleys were always looking down on people who were not like them. Harry being their favourite target. It was about time that someone stood up to them.

Harry thought of the old man and how he had known Harry’s name. He had always thought that strangers knew who he was. Strange strangers. Harry remembered last week when a wild looking woman wearing brightly coloured, tight fitting clothes had waved to him across the road. Aunt Petunia had remarked tartly that the Sixties were over and dragged Harry and Dudley into the supermarket.  

Was he one of those strangers? He thought of the dog who had growled at everyone else but him. That was very odd. Harry turned onto his side and as he drifted off to sleep, couldn’t shake off the feeling that something about him wasn’t quite normal.

[hegemoneapple]

Basilisk Eyes: Chapter 26: 33 suns

Crossposted: Basilisk Eyes by Hegemone | Completed: Chapter 26 out of 157 | T | AO3 | FFN | WATT | HPFFHarry left the first-floor bathroom when he decided that the telly in the kitchen had been on long enough to have sucked in Dudley and before (he hoped) the Dursleys had a need to use the bathroom that he was currently locked in. His shoes and socks were still not dry and he needed to throw away the gunk from the drains in the bin in the garage.

Walking around barefoot felt good—he liked the feel of the carpet between his toes, the smooth (very clean) wood floors and now the cool concrete of the garage.

He had completed the Saturday chores that his Aunt had ordered him to do, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t come up with more if she saw that he was unoccupied.

He wanted to return to the garden to spend more time with Nio hus cherio kisa before he had to leave.

Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and, well, everyone would be on the Hogwarts Express right now, heading back to London. He could almost hear the train whistle in his head and feel the swaying of the cars as it zipped along the tracks. And the smell of the candy trolly as it made its way along the corridor. The apple he’d eaten in the bathroom seemed like a long time ago. He wished he had more food stockpiled in his staff.

Damn! I should have thought of that yesterday! He berated himself as his stomach rumbled in protest.

He used the staff to locate the bin and tossed out the gunk. Though he was tempted, he didn’t restore the staff to its normal size because he didn’t want Dudley to see him using it. 

Though he’s probably not sticking his head out the curtains like Aunt Petunia. He’s probably still glued to the telly.

It would have been a lot easier to use the staff as a cane to find the doorstep where he sat down and put on his damp socks and shoes. His toes squished in his shoes uncomfortably and their damp odor kept wafting up to his nose.

He went out into the garden and tried to come up with some chore that he could do to stay outside… something that wouldn’t send Aunt Petunia through the roof. 

Though that wouldn’t be so bad either… 

He walked along the fence that was bordered with roses and lavender. He steered clear of the roses, though he liked their scent; he had had too many close encounters with their thorns to want to cozy up to them. He picked a lavender leaf and crushed it between his fingers to breath in its pungent fragrance. It helped get the lingering wet shoe smell out of his nose.

Harry knelt on the earth when he heard a rustling in the grass and walked on his hands and knees for a bit. He found a spot to lay down, nose to nose with Nio who was as happy to see him as he was to see the little snake. As the snake twinned through his fingers and wisped his tongue against Harry’s nose, greeting him amicably, Harry felt as though he were seeing the snake, though with his other senses rather than just strictly his vision. He imagined that he was a greenish-brown color, but it occurred to him he didn’t actually know.

“What color are your scales, Nio?” Harry asked.

“Oh, they are like the leaves when they are growing in the spring, and decaying in the fall so that I can hide among them easily.” Nio explained. “They aren’t as brilliant as your eyes, which are like the ash leaves in the middle of summer when the sun shines through them.” 

The snake had poked his head under Harry’s glasses to look closely at his eyes which tickled and made Harry blink. He had opened them in the shade. He sighed as he wished he could just stay outside with Nio.

oO0OooO0OooO0OooO0Oo

Dudley was so engrossed with his telly and eating mounds of potato chips (the constant crunching that accompanied the jingles from the adverts was wearing on Harry’s nerves) that Dudley hadn’t seemed to notice that there was something different about Harry. And Harry wasn’t about to enlighten his cousin. 

His staff was brilliant at alerting him to his cousin’s constant attempts to trip him or hit him and as long as he was able to keep his fingers on the staff in his pocket when he was nearing Dudley, he was able to avoid the assaults. It was exhausting and he kept chanting to himself: Saturday-Sunday, Saturday-Sunday. He had put off asking his Aunt about the trip to London until Sunday. No need to send her into a spiral of hysteria a day early if it could be avoided. Harry was good at avoiding conflict. Well, as good as someone could be who was constantly being thrown under the train of conflict.

Harry had peeled and boiled potatoes, chopped more onions, and sauteed green beans in butter while Aunt Petunia managed the roast in the oven. He was pretty sure that Uncle Vernon had only left the living room twice to empty his bladder. Aunt Petunia had sent Harry in a few times with fresh pints of lager. Harry had walked very carefully and slowly trying not to spill or attract Uncle Vernon’s attention… he was pretty sure his Uncle didn’t even know he was in the room, even though he had grabbed the fresh pints from Harry’s hand. Harry had felt around on the end table by the sofa to find the empty glasses as quietly as he could manage. Each time, Harry started breathing again once he’d left the room.

Harry was so hungry by the time they sat down at the dinner table that he felt a little faint. Before the Basilisk, he’d been able to nibble on bits and pieces of dinner while he cooked it—a green bean here, a piece of potato there. But he didn’t want to risk it now—his staff didn’t tell him when people were looking at him or not, just where they were in the room.

He was still finding it challenging to scoop food from bowls onto his plate without spilling and only managed meagre helpings that he then chased around his plate with his knife and fork.

Dudley asked again about Harry’s sunglasses, but no one answered him. And Harry sure wasn’t going to fill him in if he was too dense to figure it out on his own.

Uncle Vernon spent a good portion of the meal ranting about disabled people taking more than their fair share of the country’s resources while not contributing to society and not having to pay fare for public transportation and getting parking places right up front. Harry thought that was pretty rich coming from a man who had spent the entire day in front of the telly while other people waited on him. The whole tirade seemed directed right at Harry, but still, Dudley didn’t catch on. Harry made a mental note to ask at the train station if that was true. 

Maybe I don’t need to buy a ticket!

Harry was relieved when finally the Dursleys had retired to the living room to watch their Saturday night telly leaving Harry to finish the dishes and sweep. He was glad for the relative peace and quiet of the kitchen and even more glad when he was able to creep upstairs to his room. He listened at the door, hoping to hear Hedwig, but she hadn’t returned yet.

He was sitting looking out at the light of the moon when Dudley came up the stairs to use the bathroom (it sounded like he had lost a bid to use the downstairs bathroom with Vernon).

“Why are you sitting in the dark?” his cousin barked from the doorway.

Harry shrugged and his cousin went on to the bathroom. Harry got up and closed his door, then got in his pajamas. He hadn’t thought about turning on lights in rooms for nearly a month now. 

It’s been four weeks since the Chamber of Secrets and Tom Riddle and the Basilisk and Ginny almost dying and my eyes… 

He actually preferred it when the lights were off since his eyes were so sensitive to light.

He drifted off to sleep listening to the crickets and the frogs wondering where Hedwig was and if Nio was intertwined with his family in a burrow under the ground.

oO0OooO0OooO0OooO0Oo

Sunday morning dawned and Harry woke with the sun as the light filled his room. He laid in bed listening… had Hedwig arrived? He didn’t hear her tattletale scratching or little grunts and growls.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! I just need to make it through the day! Tomorrow I can leave!

He had someplace he could go that was away from the Dursleys. He just had to figure out how to get there. He really, really hoped that Hermione would come through for him. 

Please, please, please, Hermione. I really need this.

He got up and dressed and put the rest of his belongings (a couple of T-shirts, jeans, socks, and pants) in his staff. In the bathroom, he worked on his hair (hopeless, really) and brushed his teeth. He thought about a shower, but decided he wasn’t that ripe—maybe he’d be able to take one in the evening while the Dursleys were watching telly after dinner.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, he chanted in his head.

Breakfast went pretty smoothly, all things considered. He and Aunt Petunia fixed another full English Breakfast for the Dursley boys who didn’t seem to even notice the amount of work entailed in the feast. Harry managed to eat a bit more than he’d been able to before because he made a sandwich with his egg and toast and no one said anything. He tucked a few scraps in his pocket for Hedwig when he was cleaning the plates.

Aunt Petunia had him whacking the area rugs from the kitchen, front door, back door, and toilets outside on the clothesline. It was a dusty job, but he liked being able to take his frustration out on the rugs… there was something satisfying about just hitting something until his arms ached. Nio didn’t like all the dust, so stayed away until Harry was done, but they did get to hang out for a bit until Aunt Petunia noticed that Harry wasn’t working.

Next was mowing the grass. Harry wasn’t sure how he was going to manage it, but he enlisted Nio who not only gave excellent directions for mowing in the neat lines that Aunt Petunia required (as far as Harry could tell), but also warned all his snake buddies to clear the area. Nio bemoaned the loss of the longer grass which was easier to hide in.

Harry was really looking forward to a shower after he hauled all the bags of cut grass to the bin, sweat dripping from his forehead.

Harry and Nio sat on the garden wall in the back by the lilies (they hadn’t started blooming yet—but Harry felt the long stems that were forming buds) and enjoyed the humming of the garden.

“Tomorrow I’m leaving, Little Friend. I wish you could go with me, but I don’t know if I could find bugs for you to eat and I think you’d miss this garden.”

“I would miss my family and the garden, Big Friend,” agreed the little snake. “But I’m also going to really miss you.”

“I’ll be back at the end of July,” reassured Harry.

“What’s July?” asked the snake.

“I’ll be back after the sun rises… ” Harry paused to count the days, “33 times.”

“That’s many suns,” said the snake sadly.

“Yes,” agreed Harry. He had never before been sad to leave Privet Drive.

[secretsofslytherin]

Cursed Child rant

Alright, Witches, Wizards, Muggles, and magical creatures big and small, hold onto your broomsticks because I’m about to tell you why I do not like Harry Potter and the Cursed Child nor accept it as canon. 

Spoilers ahead. Obviously. but c’mon who hasn’t read it or been spoiled by now Also, it got super long. 

Let’s start off by saying: it’s been months since I read it. If I get some things off a little, go ahead and tell me; I’ll edit the rant and correct it. If you just don’t agree with me... that’s great for you. Okay? We good? That’s all the disclaimer you’re getting. Moving on! 

Where do I begin? Um... Let’s recap shall we? 

It starts with Albus Severus Potter (who’s name I still cannot get over) meeting and becoming friends with Scorpius Malfoy. 

Okay. Great. We’ve all wanted that for years. No problem. 

We’ve also played with the idea of Albus in Slytherin for years. I have no problem with that either. 

What I do have problems with is the way Albus is treated after he is put in Slytherin. He’s the outcast of his family. He’s the “disappointing son”. After Harry’s canon “the bravest man I knew was Slytherin” speech (don’t get me started on Snape), I expected a bit better treatment of Slytherins. But Albus is Slytherin and looked at sideways by the entire cast, except Scorpius. This could easily become a rant about Slytherin’s and stereotypes and treatment, but I give enough of those already. 

My issues are mostly with Albus’ personality. Now, I didn’t write the character. He’s not mine. I don’t have the authority to tell anyone how he should be. All I can do is have headcanons. But “canon” Albus doesn’t exactly display a lot of Slytherin traits. Sure he sneaks around, but so does Harry, Ron, and Hermione and they’re all Gryffindor. If my memory serves me correctly, Albus goes to Slytherin because he basically thinks, “Well, the Gryffindors I know suck, let’s try Slytherin.”it’s been a while since I read it okay  

Albus is jaded by the time the plot picks up. He doesn’t like flying, isn’t that good at it or Quidditch (which honestly feels like they’re just trying to make him as unlike Harry as possible which I could handle if it wasn’t so badly written), and is basically convinced his life is horrible. (I’ll get into why a little later.) This kid shows no Slytherin traits that I remember. He hardly shows any traits really. I think it was the play format, but Albus becomes a stereotypical teenager who has daddy issues and doesn’t like his life. 

Scorpius I don’t really have a big problem with, besides it going against my personal headcanons. He at least shows a bit more Slytherin traits than jaded Albus. I feel like they were trying to break Slytherin stereotypes with him- which is great and all, but it almost makes me feel like that’s all Scorpius’ personality was. As if he was made to simply disrupt our preconceived ideas of what Slytherin is. I don’t like it. Stereotypes are something I can’t stand, but come on, people, don’t strip my house of what we actually are. 

Okay, moving on from Slytherin. 

Let’s take a step back from the new characters and visit the one’s we already know, we already love. Oh wait, they’ve been ripped to shreds. 

Hermione is Minister of Magic. Okay. First of all, we all knew she could have gotten that in canon if she’d wanted it. Except... She didn’t want it. The Hermione I remember didn’t like the Ministry. At all. Their treatment of creatures, muggleborns, and how easily they were corrupted all turned her away from it. I suppose there could have been a “I’m going to get in charge in order to fix everything” development. But really... It’s a stretch for me. But my biggest problem is the fact that she’s not the clever girl I remember. The Hermione I remember, the girl who scarred a girl’s face permanently for being a snitch, wouldn’t have been so easily robbed by two teenage boys. You’re saying she hid the most important item in the Ministry at the time in a bookshelf in her office? No. Sorry, but no. I don’t care if it was charmed. Also, with all her experience with Polyjuice Potion, you’d think she would have been able to tell that her husband and best friend weren’t acting like themselves. She’s not the girl I remember. I want my Hermione back.

I think somewhere in the writing process of the book someone got Ron and George mixed up. Seriously. I know that JK said that after a few years of being an Auror, Ron goes to help George in the shop, but c’mon. He’s not one of the twins. Ron, “let her go, take me” Ron, “are you a witch or not?!” Ron, ‘goes into a forest after a trail of spiders that he’s terrified of’ Ron, honestly a brave and amazing friend Ron, was reduced to a bland comic relief with bad pranks. Ronald Weasley was not in that book. I don’t know who was, but it wasn’t Ron. Hermione is a insane stretch, but Ron... Ron is unexplainable. There is nothing that could have happened to warp Ron’s character that severely. Nothing. 

Now, onto Harry. 

Oh, Salazar, Harry “I wish you weren’t my son” Potter. What the hell. What the actual hell? 

This boy was abused as a child. This boy lost not only his father, but his godfather, his mentor- literally every father figure in his life. Now, some would say “oh, then he had no example, he didn’t know better” and I call bull---- on that. No. No no no. It does not take an example to know that you don’t tell your son “I wish you weren’t my son.” Harry is a washed out, lackluster echo of who he was. After years of being ignored or not listened to by adults, you’d think he’d try to listen to his own son more. After social isolation and depending on his friends for his life at times, you expect me to believe that Harry would ever forbid his son from seeing his only friend? You expect me to believe after almost dying in school every year and dealing with bullies and house prejudices, that Harry would insist that Hogwarts is heaven on earth while his son is trying to tell him otherwise? That he would become this bitter employee? 

No. 

Again, there is nothing you can tell me that will convince me that this complex character whom I love became this bland person. Nope. 

But but but, you say, it was written as a play, not a novel. The writing is different. 

Okay. But, play or novel, we know these characters. Look me in the eye and tell me you can completely understand what could have made their personalities to change so drastically. Because, for me, the answer is nothing. Nothing could have done this. It’s just bad writing. 

That’s just the characters. 

Can we talk about all the other utterly ridiculous dung that was in this play? 

First off, the rumor about Scorpius. The “he’s Voldemort’s kid because time-turners” thing. What the hell? Where the hell does something like that come from? Even Rita Skeeter wouldn’t do that. It’s absurd and doesn’t even fit in the wizarding world we know. Why did Draco allow that even to manifest? How would that even start? I’ll tell you how- to give a terrible attempt at foreshadowing. Not only does it give the twist away if you stop and think about it, but it also goes against canon. Never are time-turners mentioned besides books three and five and they’re talked about with reverence. Rumors like that wouldn’t be allowed around the Malfoys. Draco, canon Draco, wouldn’t allow it. The whole thing annoys the crap out of me. 

The Trolly Lady thing. Hogwarts has been around how long? The lady has been there how long? After seven books of Harry just seeing an innocent lady- after so hundreds of years of the Hogwarts Express- you’re telling me that this lady has been an insane magic security guard for that long? On top of that, you’re telling me that no one before Albus and Scorpius have ever gotten off the train? Albus and Scorpius aren’t even that skilled! They’re normal kids! Come on!!! I just don’t buy it. Any of it. It’s ridiculous. 

Also: They made Theodore Nott a Death Eater and I have not forgiven them for doing that to my favorite Slytherin. 

Okay, before I continue, I should make this clear: If you write fanfiction, there is literally no wrong way to do it. There are no rules, and no one can tell you how to do it, what to do in it, or anything like that. I write fanfiction. I write OC fanfiction. I’ve written time travel fanfiction. If you want to do it. Do it. 

Now... 

Let’s talk about this. Some of the most popular fanfiction plots involve OCs, secret kids/siblings, time-travel, alternate realities, ignoring deaths that occur; if you read or write fanfiction, you know what I’m talking about. 

All of that is great. Honestly, some of the best stories I’ve read involve one or more of those things listed. 

Cursed Child includes all of them. 

There’s a reason we like fanfiction. It expands the world we love. It adds characters. It explores characterizations. It’s a place we can change things we want in canon. Where there is nothing stopping us from making Bellatrix and Voldemort have a kid. 

But this was not supposed to be fanfiction. This was supposed to line up with canon. It wasn’t supposed to contradict it. It wasn’t supposed to leave us with asking what the hell was that? 

Delphi. Voldemort’s daughter. I’m sorry, but first of all. Voldemort was practically soulless and bent on murder, immortality, and concurring the Wizarding World. I can’t really imagine him even wanting to get all steamy with Bellatrix. Also, it may not be worth much, but Bellatrix was married. Slytherins are traditional, remember? Also that means she would have to be pregnant durning Deathly Hallows. You know, the book where she tortures Hermione and fights in a war, not to mention dies. I don’t know about you, but I don’t see Bellatrix as the kind to really take care of a child. The timing doesn’t match. The actual act doesn’t make any sense at all. AND they gave us another prophecy? Who gave it? Why did no one know about Dephi? I mean come on! I just... I’ve read fanfictions with better explanations. 

Also, Voldemort having a kid is fun in fanfics. I’ve read a few I really enjoy. But in canon? No. No. NO. It doesn’t fit. It ruins so many things. His character, the timeline, the actual ending of Deathly Hallows. 

But besides all that- it wasn’t even delivered well. It was obvious Delphi was the villain. It wasn’t a shock that she was Voldemort’s kid after the whole rumor thing with Scorpius. As I said- I’ve read fanfics written better. 

Now, let’s move to Cedric Diggory. 

Why. Why would they strip all meaning from his death by trying to reverse it? Why did it even have to be that specific point in time? None of it made sense and all it did was make me mad because Cedric was one of those characters that you hated to see die, but you understood their death. It had meaning- however horrible. 

Also, you expect me to believe that this boy- this selfless, honest, just, determined, hard working Hufflepuff would become a Death Eater? I’m sorry. But no. Nope. No. 

Then we have Time Turners again. Ugh. This book goes against the rules set in Book Three. They don’t even really make sense anymore and it’s a lazy plot for canon. It’s badly written and not handled properly. 

Actually, that’s a summary of the entire book. 

It’s a lazy plot, badly written, and not handled properly at all. It contradicts canon; it warps the characters; it’s terrible. 

I don’t like Cursed Child and do not accept it as canon as it was not written solely by J. K. Rowling. 

[askshalvanic]

Yume Nikki rant/thoughts

Ahh, Yume Nikki, one of the most renowned RPG games in history. While certainly not as nearly as popular as Undertale, it does have its spot within the RPG community, and some people like the game, hell, there’s some who find it inspirational or even life changing. Now, the problem is… I don’t really share this opinion or thoughts on it. In fact I don’t like the game very much. I didn’t really enjoy it, and to be honest, I immediately uninstalled it and wanted to forget about it the moment I was done playing it. The reason for this was that it was mostly a negative experience. I did have a few moments that I enjoyed here and there, so it wasn’t all that negative, but about 80% or so of it did make me think “can’t wait for this piece of shit to be over”. Now, I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but I really, REALLY don’t like Yume Nikki.

I may draw some comparisons to Bioshock Infinite in the sense that this masterpiece of a game that almost everyone and their grandmother consider worthy of a TEN OUT OF FUCKING TEN doesn’t really bode well with me either (I say this mostly because I feel that I’m in the minority when it comes to the people that have played this game and not loved it), and I honestly consider these two the games that I am not willing to play ever again in my life. But this ain’t about Biocunt Integrate, it’s about the dreadful world of Yume Nikki.

Also, I guess as a fair warning, SPOILERS AHEAD IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED IT. This was more than anything meant to be a self reflection on what I thought was wrong with the game, and thus ended up mentioning a lot of spoilers, so if you want to play it blindly, go ahead before reading this, you might take a while though.

I’ll start with the things that personally I liked or made me have some form of respect for the game because it’s easier to list those reasons given there are very few positives, and because I want to get that out of the way first. I guess the positives would be that I liked the atmosphere the game had. It was unnerving, and scarier than most games that claim themselves to be horror games and only rely on cheap and predictable jumpscares and nothing else. And Yume Nikki literally just has some fucking sprites and dark rooms, and yet it’s one of the most disturbing and honestly creepy things I’ve seen. The soundtrack’s just a bunch of looped sounds that doesn’t last too long, but it still adds something to the feel of each world that makes it different from the others. The world designs too are amazing (except for Hell) and each of them looks interesting in their own way. The fact that each effect had its own little details whenever you used them was also pretty cool. The lack of a conventional way to tell a story and just leaving things for you to interpret was an interesting choice from the dev, and the fact that Gast- I mean, Uboa, which is one of the most interesting things about the game isn’t central to the story or you don’t even have to see it to beat the game is actually really cool. Overall I guess it is safe to say it is a pretty unique and well thought out game in general, and I respect it from an artistic point of view.

Now, for the obviously much bigger list of negatives. See, my first problem with the game is how overly complex some things in it are. Several of the events are RNG based, so you basically have to get lucky for some of the most intriguing or interesting moments in the game. Then there’s also the fact that not only events, which are completely optional so there’s not too much of a problem, but also one of the fucking effects that you need to get is tied to an RNG, meaning that you better get lucky and get it at the first try because otherwise it’s gonna be waking up, going to hell, go through the previous world before that one and then get to the actual world again, hoping you get the right one this time. I get it for events that you don’t even need to see to finish the game, BUT FOR ONE OF THE STEPS TO GET TO AN EFFECT TO BE RNG? I sincerely find that pretty bullshit and unnecessary. But that’s a minor issue I had.

The bigger issues are more or less tied to the existence of Hell itself. I mean, it does justice to its name, its a fucking torture to go through it, not only because if you take the wrong turn at any point or don’t have any reference of where you are going or are constantly looking at a fucking map you WILL get lost, but also because it’s so stupidly bright red that after a while of being there your eyes will scream for mercy, and you will more than likely spend a long time in that place, if not because you got lost, then because you essentially need to go through it more than once if you want to actually beat the game. Some people may think it adds to feeling of adventure and danger and excitement, but I simply find it annoying and a nuisance. Essentially, this game isn’t for overly impatient people. You complain about loading screens? Boy, get ready to meet HELL. Admittedly, you do get to do a lot more during the travel from point A to hell to point B, and there is danger there, but I would rather sit through a few moments of a loading screen than have to deal with the bright as the sun red tone in the background designed to either drive you insane or to completely fuck up your eyes, and once you get the stop light effect, the toriningen becomes kind of irrelevant at the price of walking at a normal pace. It can be fixed by just looking at a map but even then it’s still an eye sore and even with the map you can get lost, which happened to me a lot, and the fact that you NEED to go through hell in order to get to other worlds for their respective effects makes it all the more annoying and sigh inducing whenever you see the multi-shaped little shit portal that takes you there.

Another major issue is perhaps the fact that if it wasn’t because a wiki exists or because I had help through most of the game, I would have never figured out where to even get the effects, which ones I was missing, how did they look like or how to get to neat little events that were honestly quite interesting and well made. I know that’s what some people might find charming or the whole point of the game really, to find it out by yourself, but to be honest I would have given up eventually after being unable to find any more stuff because it is all so hidden. I can appreciate when a game goes out of its way to be mysterious, when there’s stuff to find, when it is challenging, but honestly, most of the stuff in this game is far too convoluted for me to give it a pass on that. Aside from the instructions, you are pretty much on your own and therefore entirely fucked. Hell, I would have thought the minigame with the console was somehow important or it would give me something interesting at the end, but reading “nah it’s just a jumpscare” made me realize a lot of this game would be confusing or I’d believe something would be important when really its not. And having somewhat of a trolly person as your guide doesn’t help much either.

Speaking of which, my guide and friend also took part in what makes me not want to play or hear anything about this game ever again. Because of the way he hyped up the ending, even when I started to hate the game a part of me thought “the ending will probably be worth it” to keep going on. The ending, do it for the ending. I’ll talk about the ending later, but needless to say that part of me was wrong, and the ending was somewhat overhyped  him. This was a minor inconvenience however when compared to the one thing that even made me stop mid stream and say “I’m done” and then close the game out of the blue. The god damn insistence on me having to play the game one way, as opposed to how I want to play it. Yes, I might have missed some events that were interesting, but given the fact that he tends to trick me into thinking something when really something else is going on already had me mistrust his guidance to a certain degree, and had me looking up shit on my own to confirm if he was saying the truth. I honestly felt after a while that I was being forced to do things one way instead of doing them by myself and the way I wanted to do it, that is why it was more of a chore than a game, I felt like I was doing some sort of homework that I had to finish at some point, I felt obligated to do it and that made me hate more than anything, the fact that I felt like I HAD to finish it as opposed to wanting to finish it. Feeling forced to do something makes you not want to do it, especially when someone keeps banging over your head “DO IT THIS WAY, DO THIS BECAUSE YES EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT IMPORTANT, DO IT MY WAY NOT YOURS” was a tad overwhelming and made me feel like I was being manipulated and like I needed to do it one single way. Feeling like that sincerely made me want to rush to game, to be done with it, to not have anything to do with it again, and so I did. I started regarding it less like a cool but fucked up game and more like one fucked up homework that I had to do because I had no choice in the matter (sorry if you see this, but you did influence my views in this game a lot).

And this takes me to my final point as to why I dislike this game so much, and this is where I start comparing it to Biodrug Ultimate and its the ending. See, both games have this feeling to me that for some reason if you miss anything or if you don’t do something in specific you will get a bad ending out of however many there could be, because being games that look so creative and unique they probably have more than one ending, right? Well, that is a lie for both of them, but unlike Bioterrorist Influence I didn’t have my expectations high for Yume Nikki. I was already expecting the worst, without much hope for anything because I had Hyoko to tell me at least that there was one and only one ending. And even then the ending still fucked me up, because I didn’t know what, out of all the horrible things that could happen, to expect. And while it was leagues better than the shit show Biodunked Ontimate had to offer for one of the most disappointing endings I’ve ever seen, it doesn’t make it any less depressing or empty. By the time I had finished the game I felt like absolutely nothing that I had done was worth it, like the journey to get here had been void and meaningless. This wasn’t disappointing because I was already expecting nothing from the start, but it did upset me because I had learned nothing and I left with nothing but a bitter taste. Yes some events were pretty cool, same with most of the worlds, it was an interesting concept of visiting a girl’s consciousness through her dreams, and since most dreams tend to be fucked up it would make sense for hers to be pretty bizarre as well. But what was about the effects and about her dreams that drove her to suicide? What did she feel like after exploring all over her own mind and dreams that would make her do that? Why? WHY?! To top it off, I actually felt like it was me the one that drove her to it. Digging so far deep into her consciousness that she felt the only way to deal with her problems was to end with her own life, and that I was the one that pushed her off. I don’t care that she doesn’t actually exist, I don’t care that this all a videogame that I ended up hating, it’s still all so fucked up and it feels awful that with the press of one key I was the one that made her jump into the abyss, never to return again or dream again. I felt empty, sad, upset, thinking about why did things have to turn this way. I hesitated for a while to even make her go up those stairs, but I feel like in the end my own desire to be done with it all, to close the loop, to never come back to this game again made me do it, because I know this is a game, I know many others before me and many more after will press that key to send Madotsuki crashing against the pavement down below, but that doesn’t make it any less horrifying or fucked up that I sent a little girl to her own death. I never did the Genocide Route in Undertale because I felt that after having establishing a bond with such lovable and interesting characters I’d be guilty of not only betraying their trust for my own amusement but that I would also take away that feeling of uniqueness and of having such well thought out and caring characters that sincerely made me cry at the end of the Pacifist Route and turning it all into dust, into void, only to get to that one boss battle that everyone keeps praising and that turned Sans into the actual joke that he’s become now within the Undertale Fandom. But that is a rant for another day. The point is, I didn’t do it because to me Undertale is much more than just an RPG, more than just a game, it meant a lot to me and I cared deeply about the characters, to the point of not wanting to murder them, even though I know its a game and it won’t matter either way in the real world, I feel like not caring would make me even more of a twat, and even though I didn’t enjoy Yume Nikki, that still doesn’t mean I wanted Madotsuki to die. Even when I sent her forward I had hoped for there to be something that saved her or for her to actually not jump out of the balcony even if I told her to. Fuck me for having nice thoughts I guess. Oh I also did make the choice to be a nice Madotsuki that didn’t murder anything even though my friend was insisting that I should be the exact opposite of that but whatever.

In the end, I guess the bad things do overweight the good things for me as far as this game goes, and I still feel this sense of emptiness when I think about it. If there is a message, I am unclear about what it is. The world of dreams is incomprehensible? If you dig too far into your unconscious you won’t like what you’ll find out? No matter what you do the outcome of things is inevitable? That death is the true ending for everything? Life and dreams are meaningless? The more I think about it the more it feels like I’m straying away from whatever meaning there is because it all felt so pointless and just not worth it that I can’t find a meaning to all of it. Like, what was the point of driving Madotsuki to suicide? What was the whole point of gathering the effects if she was going to end up dead anyway? Would anything have changed if I hadn’t looked for the things? Nothing changes no matter what you do in the game, so then what does it matter? Did it happen because she was on a quest to find herself and who she is within these dreams and was unable to find it so she then killed herself? I just don’t really know what the point of it all is, and this is exactly my problem with Bioshock 3: The Electric Boogaloo too, after all I did, and all I went through it seems as if thought it was pointless, like I shouldn’t even have bothered if I wasn’t going to be able to change anything for better or for worse.

[queennicoleinboots]

Fuck This House

Peter didn't get so much as a breath in before I said, "No! What's up with you?!" as I walked in the door.

He blinked at me before he answered, "Nothing."

"Nothing?!" I asked him. "You're so boring. When you ask me, I have two essays worth of stories to tell you. But when I ask you, it's nothing. You're so boring. You're the most boring person I've ever met! Ugh!"

"Oh all right, fine!!!! I spoke to Kendrick this morning before she went to work and talked about alcohol, drugs, and anything remotely against the system. Then I listened to Rage Against the Machine for a couple of hours while drinking my very-much spiked coffee. Oh, and I decided to *not* publish Artie Wonderbloom and the Red Dragons because fuck every publishing agency being taken over the Chinese. Now who's boring?" Peter asked.

"... Not me. The parking lot fucking disappeared on Tuesday, and my car went to another dimension. Joebear and I had to find our vehicles so that we could drive to exist. Mr. Thor returned to Athens, GA from New York and scheduled an emergency meeting tomorrow that everyone who even has any goat DNA has to attend. He said it was super beyond important," I said.

Mr. Thor had a top-secret meeting to attend that only members that were rank 20 or higher attended. Murphee and Gabby were both rank 20 and higher. (In other news, Gabby is rank 21.)

"Oh fuck not again. The last time we went, my dog was inducted, and a few weeks later, THE CHINESE SHADOW GOVERNMENT FUCKING POISONED HIM!!!!" Peter was now screaming at the top of his lungs.

"PETER!!!" Jamie screamed through the door of his side of the house.

"PETER! YOUR FATHER NEEDS YOU!!!!" Godiva also screamed.

"Yes, DAD! I'M COMING!!!" Peter said as he jumped up out of his seat and began his string of muttered swear words. Ever since Tug passed away, Peter has hated everything even more than usual.

I followed Peter to his parents' side of the house because I had nothing else better to do.

"Xara, can you vacuum the living room and our bedroom? We have company coming over," Godiva said.

"Yes. You always have company," I said.

Godiva went to fold the towels on her kitchen table. Jamie and Peter went to prepare for the guests to show up.

I went to vacuum. Everything was going peacefully until I heard a loud "FUCKKKK!!!" from Peter over the loud sound of the vacuum cleaner. I turned off the vacuum cleaner and chuckled.

"WHAT KIND OF IGNORANT BULLSHIT IS THIS TODAY!!!!" Peter yelled.

I went to laugh before my phone alerted me of a text from Mr. Thor.

"Has Peter been alerted of the important meeting tomorrow?" Mr. Thor's text message said.

I texted back, "Yes. And he is pissed."

I turned on the vacuum cleaner to finish up all while hearing Peter scream at the top of his lungs.

"EVERY TIME I HAVE A FUCKING DAY OFF SOMETHING GOES WRONG IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE!!!!" Peter screamed.

I about doubled over the vacuum cleaner and laughed my ass off.

"HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT THE SYSTEM WHEN I'M CONSTANTLY TRYING TO SAVE THIS HOUSE FROM BLOWING UP??!!! I DON'T GIVE A-" Peter continued his rant tantrum.

When I finished vacuuming, I rolled on the floor and laughed before my phone alerted me again.

"He's pissed?! I'm the one who has to lead an organization that the Chinese is taking over! Tell him to grow a pair and show up!!!!!11111" Mr. Thor texted.

I texted back, "What the fuck is going on?!!!!"

"FUCK THIS HOUSE!!! FUCK THE CHINESE!!! FUCK- OH HI JAMES! HOW ARE YOU?!" Peter screamed.

I went to continue cleaning up after the Parkers. A plump man with white short hair entered the house and was speaking with Jamie. "How are you holding up?"

Jamie had a giant smile on his face. "Oh man. I'm sick, but it's interesting. Peter makes me laugh. Every day he has a tantrum about something," he said as he was laughing wholeheartedly.

"That's why Dad decided on this place... so that he could watch me suffer even more with house repairs. The last house was bad enough and now this bullshit," Peter said as he went to his side of the house.

I chuckled at that remark and made myself present.

"Oh hey little lady. You should clean my house," James said with a chuckle.

"Sure. Where do you live?" I asked. I always was in need of more business.

"Texas," he answered with a guffaw.

"Sorry. I can't travel THAT far," I said as I continued to clean.

Mr. Thor texted me again, "I'm not a liberty to discuss over a non-secure line. You'll find out at the meeting."

I sighed. It was serious business if Mr. Thor couldn't text it. That man would text about everything and anything that was important in his life.

I finally made it over to Peter's side of the house and saw him trying to upload trolly memes of Donald Trump being anally raped by Kim Jong Yun and Vladimir Putin to 4-chan, SuperCopingMan.com, PeterAwkward8Wixsite.com, and to his E-mail.

I heard Jamie and James talk about the intracacies of drywalling and the Republican party. They even talked about pagan Christianity.

Peter grimaced at the door leading to his parents' side of the house. "Pagan Christianity and the Republican party ideology have definitely brainwashed me to the point of no return. It's the biggest lie ever told. Dad and my cousin, James talk about it as though it were true... They're so deluded, stuck in their old ways... I'm offended that they are here. They talk about drywall as though it weren't the one thing I detest even more than the Chinese... drywall has ruined my life," he said as he stared darkly at that damn door. I could have sworn he would have burned a hole in it with his green eyes that had puffy red circles around them.

"Be honest, Peter. Do you always want everyone to go away?" I asked as I patted his shoulder.

"YES!!! Except Kendrick. She can stay when she's here," Peter answered.

"Even me, right?" I asked with a chuckle.

"On occasion. Especially when you mock my existence," he said with a snarl.

"That's usually what I do. Can't help it. You're better at everything than I am," I said.

"Untrue. You are better at discernment, being female, AND BEING EXTREMELY ANNOYING TO THE POINT WHERE ANY SANE MAN WOULD BE DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF ABSOLUTE INSANITY," Peter said as he threw his hands in the air.

"Peter Parker! Can you show me the issue with your gutter?!" James called.

"Goddammit," Peter muttered before he rose and spoke in his normal loud voice, "YES!!!" Then he left.

Five minutes later, I heard Peter yelling outside. "WHAT?! The gutter is BENT! HOW?!!! Did the Chinese put a bomb in it Jesus Christ!!!!"

I looked up to see Peter using dramatic hand gestures toward the gutters.

"OH MY GOD THE FUCKING ROOF IS ROTTED!!!! COULDN'T WE FUCKING PAY SOMEONE...." Peter continued. ".... WHERE THE FUCK AM I GOING TO FIND A DRYWALL BUCKET?!!! THEY DON'T FUCKING-" Peter was jumping up and down.

I was rolling on the floor again. Peter stomped away and entered the house. He went straight for an end table and kicked the leg of it as hard as he could. As a result, he kicked over the table and broke a lamp in the process. I was crying laughing.

"Fuck this house! Fuck this house! I hated this goddamn place the fucking second I moved here!" Peter said before throwing the ceiling fan that was already on the floor across the room. "James is unreal! He wants me to fix the gutter. I don't know about gutters. I don't CARE about gutters. I'm a drywall guy AND I HATE THAT. I just want to mentally scar children and the Chinese. Why the fuck do I have to all these house repairs?"

I was doubled over and couldn't breathe.

Peter stared into space before he muttered, "Goddammit. I don't want to do this shit. No, James, I can't find a drywall bucket. We don't fucking use buckets anymore. Now we use goddamn boxes. We use boxes. Apparently, James doesn't understand that. Why can't I use a normal bucket?! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE A DRYWALL BUCKET?!" Peter was starting to foam at the mouth.

"Peter! Have you called Paul to ask about those buckets yet?" Jamie called.

"No. Not yet. Dad, we use boxes now. Did the concept escape James?" Peter yelled through the door.

"Well, Paul may have some. You never know," Jamie said. "Give him my regards! Call him now!!!"

Peter kicked the lamp that was on the floor and broke it into tiny pieces. "All right, Dad!" He went to get his cell phone to call Paul. For the sheer purpose of our entertainment, he put the phone on speaker.

"Hello, Peter. How are you?" Paul asked in a cheerful voice.

Peter made a growling noise. "Do you happen to have any drywall buckets on you?" he asked.

"No. Dude, are you retarded? We use boxes now. We've used boxes for like two years. What the fuck?" Paul asked.

"No, Paul. *I'm* not retarded. My IQ is 115. Fuck you. I was asking because my dad and JAMES wanted to know. I fucking told them we use boxes," Peter said as he glared at his phone. "My Dad says hello."

"Well, sorry. Why the hell would you need a drywall bucket?" Paul asked. "Tell your dad I say hi."

"Because my gutter has a bunch of shit in it, is bent to fuck and back, AND MIGHT HAVE A BOMB THE CHINESE PLANTED THERE!!!" Peter yelled.

"Oh for fuck's sake, not the Chinese again. We might have outsourced our buckets to China. Fucking call them and ask," Paul said.

Peter sneered at the phone. "Fuck on their buckets! I'll just leave the gutter trash on the ground I don't give a fuck!" Peter said harshly.

"Neither do I," Paul said with a laugh.

"Thanks anyway," Peter said with a fakeass smile.

"Haha. You're welcome. See you at work tomorrow," Paul said.

"No you won't. I have an important meeting to attend tomorrow," Peter said.

"Oh God. The Goat Boyscouts. Jesus Christ, Peter. Why are they so damn important?" Paul asked.

"Because they are the ones who really determine the direction of our society, politics, and even religious values!" Peter answered with dignity.

"Oh Lord. Fine. See you next Wednesday," Paul said with a sigh.

Peter sighed before he said, "See you next Wednesday."

They both hung up. Peter went to a spot on his drywall and kicked it repeatedly with his right foot for 16 seconds.

"Did he have the buckets?" Jamie called through the door.

"No DAD! He outsourced them to the Chinese!!!" Peter yelled. "He gives his regards!!!"

"Thank you. Fuck it. Just use a 33-gallon trash bag and be done with it. The hell with the Chinese," Jamie said.

Peter had had enough. He decided to turn on the video camera on his phone and start recording. "Fuck this house," he started to say as he was waving his phone around and showing the camera his office with the hole in the wall, ceiling fan blades sticking out of the walls, a ceiling fan tossed across the room, and the table that was knocked over with the broken lamp beside it.

He continued his video with a laugh. "Hey how are you this is Peter W. Parker not to be confused with Spiderman Peter Parker. And welcome to Fuck This House. That's right! Fuck this house. There's so much bullshit in this house. Too much fucking work. Everything's work. Been like that since I fuckin' moved here."

Peter walked outside and showed the camera his mother's extensive toilet garden. "You see this toilet garden. It's a monstrosity! It's an eye sore. It stares at me every fucking day! I hate it. I want to break every one of these goddamn toilets again and again until they don't have the NERVE to come back!!!"

I followed him to the backyard.

"And this goddamn backyard. More toilets. Grass grass grass everywhere. I'm allergic to grass. Fuck grass. I hate this green shit! I'm not fuckin' mowing it." Peter continued to rant before he threw his neck in the direction of the grass. "Fuck you, you green pieces of shit!!!"

I tried not to laugh in the background as he was filming.

"And another thing, my parents got a hot tub in the backyard. WHY?! They never use the goddamn thing!!! They used it once since we got it a month ago. It's a lot of work. Why?! I don't fucking use it because I hate being outside! I'm allergic to the goddamn water. GUESS WHO HAS TO CLEAN IT?! I DOOOOOO!!!!" Peter sung the "I DOOOOOO!!!!" part.

I chuckled and covered my mouth.

"It uses up the goddamn electricity, and they complain about the light bill. Jesus Christ my parents are illogical!!!!"

I shook my head and laughed for a second before stopping.

Peter sighed. "Then there's the bills! Jeez. Utility bills go up. Gotta pay property tax! Gotta deal with the Housekeeping Association," he said as he pointed the camera to me.

I waved. "Hi. I'm an extra bill you have to pay every month JUST SO YOU CAN CONTINUE TO EXIST IN YOUR HOUSE," I said enthusiastically.

"Oh fuck you!" Peter said before he moved the camera away from me and continued to show the house. "Haha. It's ridiculous. Let me show you the inside. I'm not ready to deal with my obliterated duct hose and beyond-fucked gutter yet."

I followed him into the house. I felt every urge to laugh at him.

"Here's my parents' side of the house. Very relaxing. Very presentable! Very pretty. As you can see, there's a lot of woodwork, crown moulding, my parents have very nice taste... If a termite came in here, he would have an erection in two seconds. In fact, that's what happened at our last house. A termite had an erection and ate my house. Mother fucker," Peter ranted as his face was contorting into several expressions of rage and disgust.

I chuckled again.

"As you can see, my parents have two skylights that THEY MAKE ME CLEAN BECAUSE OF THE BIRD SHIT AND THE TREE SAP... they hate me," Peter said with a defeated expression on his face.

I took a deep breath and ignored my phone's notification sound.

"I even FELL OFF THE GODDAMN ROOF AND THIS BITCH AND MY MOTHER'S VENUS FLYTRAP LAUGHED AT ME!!!" Peter said as he pointed the camera at me again.

I at this point started laughing to the fullest extent. He flicked me off in front of the camera.

"I was blowing leaves like a jackass. Fell off the fucking roof onto the wet muddy ground, and this bitch just continued to laugh at me," Peter continued.

I was laughing, falling on the ground, and beating the floor with my fist. He was filming me.

"I was screaming in pain. But they were laughing. Everything I do is a fucking joke!" Peter said loudly.

I was snickering, lying on my back, kicking my heels, and clutching my stomach. Scheudenfreude was real.

He pointed the camera to the woodburning stove his parents had in the corner. "Anyway, onto my parents' woodburning stove. Very nice, but I have to clean the thing. No one else cleans it so I have to clean it! I-I-I gotta get the brushes. Clean this shit out!!! All the fucking time because the creole builds up and it could cause a fire. Sigh. I gotta go on the roof again. I gotta live on the roof. Brush out the shit!" Peter was making dramatic faces at the camera.

He took a deep breath before continuing to rant. "Assemble the brush, go down the chimney, be Santa Claus!!!!" He was imitating using the brush with the hand that wasn't holding the phone camera. "I look like I'm jacking off or something Jesus Christ!!! It's a lot of work! Everything is work! It's nice it's nice but it's a lot of work!" Peter sounded like Smeagull from Lord of the Rings when he said "but it's a lot of work!"

I laughed again.

"MONEY AND LABOR AND BLOOD AND SWEAT AND TEARS AND AGGRAVATION AND STRESS AND IRRITATION!" Peter screamed into the camera.

I laughed and wondered how the fuck this guy didn't have laryngitis from all the yelling he was doing that day.

"Wanna see my parents' kitchen?!" Peter asked with a smile as he showed the camera his parents' kitchen. "Here's where we eat... when we actually DO eat. It's rare that I eat with my parents I have to work most of the goddamn time anyway. Ha! Ha! And my mom wants to redo the kitchen! Why?! I'm trying to fix the God-forsaken gutter outside! I-I can't win! It's-It's-It's always something!!!! You go from one project to another, especially in my goddamn house. This is my life when I'm not at work. I get to fuck around with this fucking place! I want to kick something right now!" Peter spoke loudly.

I really cracked up then.

"FUCK THIS HOUSE! REALLY!!!!" Peter screamed into the phone with eyes that couldn't get any wider if they tried. "I'd rather live in a cardboard box somewhere out in the middle of Atlanta!!! I hate the system! I don't want to pay into it, ANYMORE!!!! I don't give a shit! Give me a cardboard box and a glass of water and I'm happy!"

I was crying as I was laughing.

"Let's go in here! Let's go in here!" Peter screamed into the phone. I could tell Peter was having yet another daily mental breakdown. "Let's go in my part of the house where I broke all my ceiling fans and have blades coming out every which way because I was an ape!!!"

I was losing my voice from laughing at this deranged gentleman.

"You see this shit?! I hate this shit. I'm 7'4" and I get whacked by my fucking ceiling every goddamn day. I have to look at this bullshit every single day. I hate it. We just recently replaced my toilet because it somehow broke. Low flow bullshit toilet. Gotta flush the thing two times to get even a piece of toilet paper down. Low flow toilets don't save water. That's another bullshit lie they tell you. The water company saves money. You have to pay to fix the flusher from overuse. The PLUMBERS MAKE MONEY!!!! The Chinese invented these toilets. Again, fuck them. There is no water shortage anywhere. That's another bullshit lie they tell you so that they can charge more for your water bill. It's all bullshit," Peter continued to rant.

I was perpetually chuckling and agreeing with what he was saying.

"We had to go to three home depots to fix the several issues this piece of shit house has and has had since the nightmarish day I fucking moved here. And we all know what Home Depot is like. Let me get into that!!! My parents spent $15,000 on this furniture, repairs, and services. Jesus. My parents bought more furniture from Ikea. GUESS WHO HAD TO PUT IT TOGETHER?!" Peter said with a dramatic hand gesture. "MEEEEEEEE!!!!" Peter was singing through his big smile.

I was snickering hardcore in the background.

"Oh, and when I found my desk in Grayson, I kidnapped an old woman and made her refurbish it..." Peter explained before showing the camera the indentation of where he slams his fist on said desk every single solitary fucking morning, afternoon, and evening. "Only for me to do this to it." He laughed before he grinned at the camera. "I gave her $2, and of course I spill coffee all over it every chance I can."

Peter is a funny, mental mess. I couldn't help but continually chuckle.

"It's a nice desk, but it's a lot of work. A lot of time. I have a regular fireplace," he said as he showed the camera his normal fireplace. "But when you aren't using it. You have to make sure it's closed or a squirrel will come in like Christmas vacation."

It's true. He was one of my brethren who came to troll you that day, Peter," I said.

"Oh God. Yes. You were a squirrel in your previous life. Jesus," Peter said. "I had to throw him outside." Peter showed the camera the front of the house. "Sigh. More toilets. More grass. Ughhhhh!!! It just never ends!!! It's work! You never have a day to yourself. Every day my parents want me to do something just to keep up with the house!!!!! And I say YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK THIS HOUSE!!! FUCK THIS HOUSE!!! I can't take-YOU KNOW WHAT?!!! My parents are doing whatever! They need a yard person that's why I say fuck this house!!!! I'm leaving right now. Let them deal with it. I don't give a shit. They don't even thank me. Unappreciative old fucks. I hate them. I hate this house. I hate the Chinese."

Peter walked out of his house, and I followed him. "I'm just going to walk out of here. I'm going to walk until I don't feel like walking anymore. Fuck this house. Fuck everybody. Let them deal with it!!! Let the grass grow. Let the house explode. I don't give a shit. I'm just gonna walk."

He then stopped recording. And then he kept walking.

[seekeroftruthpromestein]

Alright. Lets check out Ladies Village. Going around first to see some things before hand. 

That’s actually incredibly comforting. Its nice to know that, and my Morales are consistent. 

Let’s check out Luddite real quick.

Interesting. So she’s the one who has been writing help messages. I really feel for this girl. I wanna pat her. 

Here at Lady’s village. It seems like we already know two things. A) That this place is filled with Monsters because Alice is more helpful.  And B) A group of adventures left after some incident with a bunch of dead humans. 

That’s good to know. 

Oooh? New continent! New Continent! 

....Southeast you say? 

Me and Me are on the same page about Me. 

Dammit VN Luka and Alice. Teaching your daughter how to be badass. Though,  I suppose this is good for us so. Good job?

So yeah. This place needs to die too. I get that they’ve stopped so, F+ I guess, but still. 

Setouchi Body! 

Horray! I can fulfill my dreams and destroy this place! 

Here’s something that i’m realizing. The game very rarely addresses Alice. Because her existence is shared with Ilias. She becomes unimportant to the plot because they both have to fill the same role. Its typically your “mass effect dialog” problem. Where any party member who gets addressed will always be addressed vaugly (with a few notable exceptions). It does well in making the illusion that they are there, which is good. But once you see past it, it feels disingenuous. 

Neris for example has said nothing to Alice the entire time and is instead interested in getting to know Luka. Now, this *COULD* be explained that Luka has died in her universe and she already clearly knows her, but its still rather awkward that she doens’t address it. 

So. Any time she is addressed is a treat.

This line however continues, and its clear it can go two ways. “Fufu the former Goddess looks like a total disgrace”. 

You know what? As I say that, it is unfair to look at the strings, especially when i’m only seeing one. Like I said, its so rare that Alice is part of the plot at all, I should just be happy she’s an entity at all. 

I’m reminded of a story with a stage play about a man going to assemble an old band of his with his girlfriend. His girlfriend in the play the entire time and it turns out at the end that she was dead the whole time. Hints being that none of the other band members ever looked at her or addressed her. 

I think, if you ever find yourself writing for something, you should avoid that at all times. Having the entire world revovle around your protagonist can be very empty. 

Which, this game avoids narrowly by having the characters talk to each other plenty often. While I am coming off this with the rant that Alice rarely gets addressed in the story proper despite being an important focal point, the rest of the game does a nice job trying to have your party talk to each other, and having enough conversations that it can really be interesting. Having them have their own lives and hobbies and such. 

Anyway! Let’s get back to the game. We’re playing Spider’s Parlor and the fly. 

I guess the fly eats the Spider in this story though.

You two are lucky to be alive. I’m sure if Ilias was here she’d flat out tell you you should be dead.

Considering how much else this game blatantly stole. I’m gonna go on a limb and say that this was inspired by Majin Buu. 

Sonya. Have you not been paying attention? That’s all we DO. Get involved with the power struggle of others. 

So join her then? 

Yeah. That’s a bit hard to forgive. 

Good. I’ll go inform the grieving mother of the son that you ate last year who still is pacing eagerly for her son to come home...

God I made that dark. But I just got off the coat tails of the game pushing a really serious topic, its a bit hard to get into the “lol eating people” mindset. Like. Those are two entirely diffrent tones that you can’t merge. 

Anyway. Yada yada. Beat up Majin Buu or whatever on the mountain. Got it. 

I love that it definitely feels like the writers just realized that they pretty well depicted the horrors of rape so they are now doing everything they can to remove the casual instances. Because yeah, between Luddite, Witch village, and Succubus Village plots. The game really pushed that the, what should be obvious lesson, that rape is bad.  A lesson I feel shouldn’t be needed, but considering who this game is for, definitely glad they are including it. 

In many ways, it feels like a disclaimer. “Listen. We know that you’re probably someone who actually wants this to happen to you, considering your playing the game. So here’s the deal. It’ll pretty much only happen to you. Which in some ways makes it consensual because you’re playing it.. And the POV is clearly male oriented.” (The Male Oriented POV does actually annoy me though, as a girl playing this game, I wanna see some ladies moan and have a good time dammit! Not just be there to satisfy the guy!). 

Anyway! I’m getting REALLY offtrack a lot. Let’s continue. 

You know what. Despite my rant earlier. This is actually a little better. I mean, its horrifying if you think about it. But it actually brushes against comedic sociopathy. 

There’s nothing funny about leading men and getting eaten. And i’m sure if you thought about this it is horrifying. But the casual way she says it, it makes it funny. Its still horrifying and because i’m still in a serious mood from earlier makes me cock an eyebrow. But its handled at least a little better.

So yeah. If this place was more of this it would be at least nicer. Though I still think these people should die. 

I hate these designs so much. Slapping a girls head on a monster isn’t sexy! It’s weird! look! just take off the head and it would be a lot better! As of now, do you know what it actually reminds me of? Do you! It reminds me of this game right here! 

Let me guess. “But wait! you have the wrong idea! I was doing good! They were bad! Here’s a complicated social trolly problem with no right answers! for you to pick!” 

Okay good. We’re going simple. 

Looking at her form. I can already guess what her “deal” is. God. Vore machine going on over here. 

You know... I don’t... NORMALLY much thought in capturing these fights. Because normally nothing happens. So. Okay. She devours Alice? Mkay. I’ll just have Promestein Reviv- wait. Where is she? Chrome came up and took her place! I didn’t even REALIZE that was a mechanic! She was just eaten! She’s gone! Like! What the hell! That’s weird! That’s horrifying! 

I guess now that we won she got spat out. 

SOMEONE has a De-aging fetish. 

You’ve successfully hooked me. 

Considering how late it is I better go to sleep. However. Next time...