#i could rewrite but i cant be brothered to remember

[wearesociety]

summertime excursion

his arms tighten as she burrows deep into him. her head resting on his shoulder, she moves placing a delicate, long kiss just above his pulse, her nose brushes against his neck, the faint smell of salt air and sandalwood surrounding her.

[toastspirit]

doodled a little comic because i feel v bad in multiple ways. woohoo i love being diseased

my drawing tablet was dying and i do not currently have my sketchbook (which i deeply regret now) so it looks almost as shitty as i feel rn <3

ignore this it's bad and sad

life is a prison and existence is a cell!! whenever i start to enjoy it i am reminded that i am trapped i am trapped i am trapped and i cannot get out until i am dead and gone! :) and no one will understand or care about my problems, so i will draw them for myself and no one else. that's fine. i will love myself enough. (that is a lie).

i just want to be left ALONE i want to be able to choose when i am bothered i want to be so selfish and make my own choices and not be guilt tripped for prioritizing my health over someone else's happiness i dont CARE ANYMORE. I WISH I HAD BEEN REALLY REALLY SICK, THEN MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE FUCKING CARED. I WISH I HAD DIED THAT NIGHT OR EVEN THAT NIGHT IF IT WOULD MEAN I COULD HAVE SOME FUCKING PEACE.

i know that no one will read all that. im ok. i am not going to hurt myself. i am already hurt. i am too much of a wisher and not a doer. which is probably a good thing tbh i dont think id still be alive if i was

i wish i had drowned that time i got caught in a rip current

i wish i had spun into a tree that time my car skidded on ice

i wish i hadn't been too afraid to put the knife i was holding any lower

i wish i hadn't turned away from the garage door, keys in hand and a plan in mind

i wish i had really tested if i could clear those suicide nets.

i wish i had picked a nice pretty spot and really just leapt off.

i wish that that all those illnesses and new growths i had hidden turned out to be lethal.

i wish i had measured out the dosage correctly.

i wish i fell into a deep, deep sleep after puking my guts out instead of just WAKING UP to VOMIT MORE.

[sylwanin-was-right]

I'm currently answering an ask which asked how I would re-write AWOW and I got really involved in one part of it and decided it needed its own post:

I have many ideas for rewrites (that still somewhat sticks to the film's plotline) concerning The Omatikaya kids' and Metkayina kids' interactions. But I fleshed out a scene in particular involving Neteyam, Lo'ak, Aonung and his friends when they went to the cove to bait the akula.

Personally, as I'll reiterate in the ask, I think the racism/colorism/xenophobia of the Metkayina was never explored or explained, so the violently childish treatment of the Metkayina kids toward the Omatikaya kids didnt seem to stem from anywhere justified in-universe, and Aonung's cruelty was particularly outlandish. I think having elements of colorism and horizontal violence included in the film was important, but the majority of the writers being white, and Cameron being a white colonizer made a very poor execution of such racial themes as the dynamics of these hierarchies were portrayed as childish and simplistic as children fighting and bickering (which, perhaps was the point, since fundamentally, racism/colorism/xenophobia as ideologies are childish and illogical, but I couldnt take it seriously after another "little tail" epithet lol).

I think my rewrite of this scene would clarify Aonung's cruelty as more a personal flaw and abuse of authority/ethos than a Metkayina attitude, better flesh out Neteyam and Lo'aks sibling-rivalry, and also introduce more culturally immersive elements about Metkayina culture and the ocean biome:

Aonung and his male friends are spending guy time alone with Lo'ak and Neteyam learning how to gather shells or rocks or whatever to make tools and hunt small fish as part of their training and assimilation. This would come after the scenes where Lo'ak and Neteyam learn to ride their ilu.

Staying consistent with his character (his keeness and intuition) and the first-born "perfect son" standards set to him, Neteyam quickly learns the hunt but Lo'ak struggles. Lo'ak gets it eventually in determination and frustration from Aonung and his friends' taunting, and their negative comparisons of him to Neteyam.

After Lo'ak proves himself to them spectacularly, Aonung is suprised, but he taunts Lo'ak again, suggesting he would never catch up and be stuck with the children in learning fleets since he struggled with relatively easy training (paralleing when Neytiri told Jake he acted ignoant and stupid like a baby when they first met, and when Tsu'tey said a rock sees more than him when his first tsaheylu with a direhorse failed). Maybe Lo'ak would insult Aonung's face or something, saying it never look like he grew up and that he "knows" he struggled his first time too, which upsets Aonung cuz everybody is laughing at him (and this could imply that what Lo'ak is saying is true and the Metkayina boys know it). This would lead to Aonung suggesting that Lo'ak would never grow man enough to hunt "where the men hunt" at the cove, the "real" test of maturity. Lo'ak, still frustrated and determined to prove himself, gets inquisitive about the place Aonung mentioned, and suggests they go there for a "real hunt".

Aonung accepts, but his friends get concerned since going immediately to the Three Brothers cove (cant remember the exact name, so excuse me) would mean theyre risking their lives since they were taught as children in stories and their own initial training to never go at certain times and conditions and they shouldnt regardless without explicit permission; they are also not read themselves to take on anything they might attract since they dont know how to hunt big game and akula lurks there. Aonung silences them (still deciding if I'd want them to gather in a group huddle away from Lo'ak or Neteyam, or if they'd just make quick comments and facial expressions alluding to dangers). He then convinces them he has a plan for if they get in danger and they all go.

The Metkayina kids knowingly going to the cove at a bad time unbeknownst to Lo'ak and Neteyam would explain why they were the only ones out there and why they encountered no hunting parties despite it being "where the men hunt". It would also clarify Aonung's cruelty as a personal flaw rather than an attitude of the Metkayina toward outsiders, and make Aonung's cruelty an outlier among their group that makes him more realistically apologetic for the customs violations and near death experence he and his friends knowingly brought to the refugees when they get punished.

Anyway, this is where the scene when Lo'ak being tricked into baiting the akula happens in canon, but instead of Lo'ak calling underwater and the Metkayina kids immediately abandoning them afterward, I'd rewrite the character interactions in this scene to be more involved:

they arrive and all start out above water. The Metkayina kids teach Lo'ak and Neteyam (who reluctantly followed) things about the cove, including where it gets its name and why only men or seasoned warriors hunt there. This introduces the akula, but in a way that alludes the audience that Aonung is lying, and tricks the Omatikaya boys since they dont know any better and Aonung plans to abandon them there to fend for themselves. They quickly go underwater so they can not waste time talking, be more immersed in the hunt (where sign language is more useful), and so the next parts flow easier into what was already canon about their interactions being underwater.

Aonung's friends gradually go from "in" on the trick to uncomfortable when Aonung gets too bold in his lies and even demonstrates a call that would alert an akula to them. Similar to the Thanator, the akula is a formidable predator the Metkayina respect in fear and avoid, but Aonung describes it as a big yet harmless fish thats challeneging to catch. Neteyam, not being the one who came to prove anything to anyone, notices the body language of the other Metkayina boys (as it gets worse hearing the call underwater) and gets suspicious about the impending presence of danger. But his suspicions are not enough to convince Lo'ak because he's tired of hom acting like he knows everything, and he's not going to forfeit his chance to prove himself again, especially in front of his goody-two-shoes brother.

Soon, Aonung's plan backfires as theres less syncronization between his nervous self and his nervous friends. They arent attached to the ilu, but one Metkayina boy slowly and suspiciously makes his way to his in nervousness. The ilu, already sensing an akula coming close, gets extra spooked shortly after tsaheylu since the kid got so nervous the ilu felt it, too. As the kid and ilu flee in fear away from the cove, Aonung reassures everyone in a lie that its part of custom for someone in a hunting party to track an akula's scent. But Neteyam signs "alone?" which makes Lo'ak somewhat suspicious for the first time.

Aonung signs to his other friend that he should go along with the other guy, lying again about a "buddy system" that "trackers" use when trailing a close akula scent, and gestured to him to go after the other guy using sign that was a colloquial phrase expressing "get the fuck outta here too" unbeknownst to the Omatikaya boys. We see Neteyam and Lo'ak shrugging at what they said but evermore suspicious.

Aonung is stuck with his lies, and with Lo'ak and Neteyam, who are getting more suspicious from using the secret phrasing, and splitting up in the hunt. Lo'ak taunts Aonung for being visibly nervous, signing he isnt man enough to be out here and his ilu knows it, too, or some quip like that. Neteyam compliments that insult by signing a suggestion that they all leave since this is lame, the way the hunt doesnt make sense, and he thinks the ilu are scared because "theyre telling us something youre not". Aonung takes this as offensive because he's being called a liar and that outsiders seeking uturu have no place questioning their clan's customs. Their ilu get spooked when they notice an akula from a distance, and Aonung unable to get himself out of this one rhetorically, grabs his ilu and gets out of there literally, riding away in spite and fear.

Neteyam and Lo'ak look a little confused but somewhat amused. Lo'ak arrogantly confirms his theory that the Metkayina boys arent real men and Neteyam concludes the akula is not what Aonung made it out to be either. He also suggests they should be worried because they dont know what it really is since Aonung lied but its enough to spook the ilu so they wouldnt be enough for the two of them to handle. The akula suddenly makes a quick appearence and dashes to the boys, who, just in time, get to their ilu and scram. Id write that while escaping, they get a chance to resurface quickly, and while being chased, get a few more changes to resurface in mid air when they have to jump out the water for arial leverage from the akula's attacks.

I think where I'd fundamentally change the story here is that both Neteyam and Lo'ak struggle to get away from the akula together. Lo'ak cant keep up so Neteyam signs/gestures that they both have to seek a nearby reef for cover. They break tsaheylu with their ilu to bait the akula away and save time to get in the reef. We see a short shot of the akula swiming to get the ilu but specifically at an angle that shows the ilu being too fast and agile to foreshadow that it returns.

Neteyam and Lo'ak need to resurface for air and they try when they think the akula took the bait. They get to resurface and have a short word with each other that the cowards set them up and their ilu are gone. But Neteyam says they have to go back to the reef since he doesnt have a plan and the akula or other akula are about. They swim back down just in time as the akula returns. They struggle to get away from it as they hide in different parts of the reef. This is where they parallel the scene in A1 when Jake hid from with the Thanator in the tree.

I think I'd keep Lo'ak going out to face the akula to not stray from canon. Id write that Neteyam and Lo'ak hide in a part of the cove that partitions them but they can still see each other. Neteyam struggles to sign that he has no plan to escape. This scares Lo'ak because he can see Neteyam losing oxygen. But he becomes frustrayed with him, seeing him as a coward that knows he can be wrong after all and is abandoning them both to die. He takes matters into his own hands and leaves his side of the reef to challenge the akula head on and save them both while proving himself, even in death. Neteyam watches in disbelief and shock in the reef as hes too weak to swim to Lo'ak (or we see him trying to swim after Lo'ak in the reef but he gets stuck or something). This is when Payakan comes and kills the akula, which both Lo'ak and Neteyam witness.

Now of course ur prolly wondering, how would you write Neteyam since he saw Payakan save them both and would thus would both be protagonists with relationship with Payakan? I think I would write so that Lo'ak and Neteyam lose consciousness from not resurfacing at different times but when Pakayan saves the two, Neteyam remains unconscious on Payakan's one fin and Lo'ak wakes up on the opposide fin (youll have to suspend disbelief here on how Payakan got Neteyam from the reef lol). Lo'ak thanks Payakan for saving them and introduces himself, but then asks about his brother's whereabouts, which he sees and gets worried. Payakan reassures Lo'ak that he's still alive and he'll get them both near home safely in time. He does and their ilu find them to ride home (which will be briefly revealed later that they were sent out to scope certain areas for them in a searchy party).

I think this introductory scene between Lo'ak and Neteyam would be shorter as we're only meant to confirm Payakan as a character in the film than just in an in-universe story early on (I feel like Payakan would be introduced earlier in the cultural rites scenes, as someone, maybe Aonung, describes Lo'ak or Kiri as an "outcast" who's weird and doesnt follow rules similar to Payakan (in the contex of Metkayina culture, this is pejorative). Overtime, we see Lo'ak's scenes of trying to find Payakan and become his brother alone because Neteyam (being someone trying to prove his role to his parents, and be a better role model than Lo'ak) follows orders to treat Payakan as an outsider and respect Metkayina customs. This, imo, would make Lo'aks comment toward him later that he isnt his brother and Payakan is even more impactful.

Anyway these scenes would end by Lo'ak and Neteyam being found by the search parties in a safer area of water near the clans on their ilu. Payakan was near but not with them, as he's an outsider to the Metkayina Na'vi too. He told them told them theyd be safe and found there, and that hed not stray far before they were found just in case something happened again and he would hear them if it did.

When Lo'ak and Neteyam were leaving Payakan to mount their ilu, Neteyam was gaining consciousness and regained it by the time the search party showed up. Aonung and his friends were part of the party and they locked embarassed silent glances with Lo'ak and Neteyam, who met them with angry, cold stares. This then transitions to a scene where Tonowari, Ronal, Jake Neytiri scold the kids at home, and Aonung and Lo'ak try to take the heat for each other.

In that scene tho, I'd write that when the parents scold them all, Neteyam initially tries to blame himself for enabling the idea to go to the cove and disrespecting the people's customs, but Aonung takes blame and says hes the one who had the idea after he felt insecure and disrespected his own customs to embarass the boys, who were not to blame for breaking rules he lied about. Lo'ak takes the last blame to say he should have never entertained the idea to go to the cove even though his ego was bruised, too, and that its his fault they all got in that mess. They all exhange glances, silently noting how they all were willing to take the blame.

I guess I'd write next is that the parents make them all accountable in different ways but Aonung and his friends gets the worst punishment since theyre the hosts and they had the ultimate responsibility of their guests. They also dishonored customs, disrespcted the spirits and ancestors, disobeyed his parents, and was recklessly arrogant. Lo'ak I think tries to take blame again by saying it wasnt just him, but idk how id write that to not extend that scene and idk what else I'd write from here since I'd need to revist the film for how it played out in canon.

What do you all think of this? 👀

[artoutoftheblue]

If you dont mind me, I'm gonna skip some stuff so I dont loose my mind trying to draw what happens. I'll summarize it.

After Solar gave Eclipse his body, Eclipse started working on making something very similar to the star. Making sure it had its same power to rewrite code and restart the universe. Sun and Lunar realized that it was kinda their fault for neglecting Solar, but Moon believed he was right all along. It did cause some tension between the brothers, but they always resolved their arguments. When Moon got the nanomachines back, he managed to give Crimson a new body and reunited him with Lunar. Unfortunately this good news wouldnt last long, as Eclipse had started up the new star, and wiped out the world and everyone on it, except for the animatronics. He either brainwashed them and made them his guards (Solar, Vanny, Glitchtrap, Freddy, and Roxanne are all guards, Sun is his personal servent). While the others were left to fend for themselves. Crimson and Lunar were cuffed and thrown in prison cells from across each other, so they could see each other, but could not reach each other. Eclipse removed Crimsons second pair of arms like he did to Lunar, now they're all stuck in place, unable to escape. Moon was sane for at least a week, and tried helping the rebellion, the ones who were left, but the virus in him eventually took over him. Now he wanders around outdoors, he can no longer speak as well as he used to, and cant remember anything before Eclipse took over, now being referred to as "Lord Eclipse" by everyone.

Now that you're caught up, let's continue

"They took away the stars on my hands..my other arms..my freedom..and Eclipse put this stupid thing on my hand. Why does he have to put his face on everything that he thinks he owns."

[demxnscous]

hello, I Read Fics For Fandoms Im Not In anon back again uhhhhh i dont know how much of a part i had to play in Knives Going In Season but i am glad you are also having fun with it!! i just wanted to potentially offer these links on posts theorizing/brainstorming Plant Dicks. both are from the blog pinkanonwrites (who i am not, btw, i just like her same as i like you)

[insert the whole tumblr dot com slash bit here] pinkanonwrites/712909569595244544/giving-me-very-dangerous-smut-ideas-i-will-use-in

[same here] pinkanonwrites/712912734518476801/did-you-see-my-reblog

i just thought the variety of ideas here were v fun and i remember you saying something about liking the idea of a hidden dick, which one of these are. but yeah! theyre all very plant-based and the pinecone idea has some pseudo-knotting potential if youre into that. i like your idea about it being tentacle-like tho and wrapping around people, i think thats super fun too ♡ mainly, i just wanted to link you this bc i like the one tiktok video that is at the bottom-part-of-the-post of the first link; i just think thats a fun alien-variation of cumming/lubricating

anyway, i think i like your whole idea of the foreheads touches! i know theres a thing in the back of the Plants in the show called their "root" (its where Knives' knife tentacles come out and where he did that ReWriting Thingy to Vash's back. i saw a post talking about it earlier this month under the Million Knives tag, and id link you it -- except i cannot tell if the post was supporting plant-cest or what and that ambiguity squicked me out. like, it was talking a bit about how the existance of a root means Knives sexually assaulted Vash ontop of violating/attempting brainwashing?? what, ew, no, thats his brother??? but yeah one of the things i REALLY FUCKING LIKE about your forehead idea is that i can now say "i like the root thing. and it is not sexual bc the forehead thing didnt happen. thatd be like if somebody said they were going to steal your love and took away your PHYSICAL heart instead of doing a lobotomy to your brain, like. i get how you got confused, buddy, but no. also, again, ew, i dont like plant-cest; why are so many posts in the Knives tag about plant-cest". so. im just telling you the evidence from the post without linking you the post, okay? okay, to reiterate: the place where Knives tentacles come from, where Vash was "stabbed" and did that who plant-Rem-lady-thing, and where their wings pop out?? that part of their back is their "root". its clearly an important element of Plant anatomy and has the ability to Produce things (like knives or nails or one wing) so it makes sense for that part of their physical body to be connected with their brain and be a mkre vulnerable spot to Plants than it is to humans. so, since its already important otherwise, makes sense for it to be important and be the item that "releases" the chemicals needed for the bond youre talking about happening with the forehead touch) and i think that could potentially play an element in why in-season forehead touches are different since it seems the root is connected to the mind in some way? i still enjoy the idea of roofie cum but that can be an addition thing in my personal hc, you can ignore it if thats what ends up happening in your fic, i would never be offended. id be honored if it got in there, but, no, i would not offended if it didnt lmao

((btw i reread that klance fic, apparently i forgot at the very end keith finds out from another half-galra that galra/half-galra is cum actually a stimulant and helps with stamina but isnt a drug (and also there's a thing with Mates and Once Youve Bonded With Your Mate Then Youre Being Bonded Forever (but you can have multiple mates, its just forever with all of them) thing i forgot about. i cant believe i forgot since one of my favorite elements of the fic's sequels is "you are emotionally connected to your mate (only emotionally? only extreme emotions like Immense Distress or signaling to one another youre in heat. also works as like gps tracker. but theres no telepathy) and it helps you find them easier" being connected to "if your mate is killed, you will be sent into a blood fever due to grief and the empathy-psychic-gps-link being broken". and even lance has that link to keith, it isnt one-sided just bc hes human, something something phermones and replicating cells post-bond probably, but lance's bond to keith is weaker and he has the abilities but to a much lesser extent. i think something similar could work with Knives too with what youre thinking?? idk how you feel about mates, but i also dont know if you read the fics i sent you last time (pls do, (unless you hate the ships THAT much. which. fair. im not gonna defend ships for fandoms im not in) i feel like such a "uhhhh what do you mean you didnt do the homework?" know-it-all asshole smarty-pants show-off when i summarize lmao rip orz pls put me out my misery i beg) so i thought id mention it in case knowing THAT'S THERE gets you to read the fics as a type of "research" i guess? for lack of a better term?? i just like making spaghetti and throwing it at the wall to see what sticks, i dont care about the sphagetti itself if that makes sense. to over-extend the metaphor: ill "re-cook it" if i need to, i like the journey, the experimentation and throwing aspects, more than i do any bowl that didnt stick. anyway)

i also know another fic, i cant remember anything about it bc i read it when i was in high-school and i have chronic memory loss about a lot of stuff-- including fandom stuff-- so i dont remember the characters or anything. but this one detail did stick where it was like.. some kinda a/b/o fic (dont judge me. im queer. as cringey as a/b/o is, its also a dysphoria utopia where your genitalia doesnt impact your gender or exoected role in society -- but you can still talk about sex and weird "the role society expects of me" conflicts and "monstrosity as a metaphor for queerness bc of alienation and feeling like our desires are monstrous" nonsense just. you can do all that and not have genitalia play a part in it, which otherwise genitalia usually does. anyway, i was definitely an egg (to anyone who doesnt know that bit of slang: an egg is "not yet realizing you are trans, but you are"). anyway) and what i remember being interesting ABOUT this a/b/o fic was that it tackled the different things that could impact one's heat from starting, whether thats a late bloomer scenario or an infertility scenario. but in this fic, alphas' "heat" was reactive to their omega mates ACTUALLY going into heat and the omega's pheramones trigger the alpha's (alpha/beta pairs dont get a heat experience as a result. which some alphas prefer bc they dont like Being Like That. betas had a whole different reproduction process, but i forgot what it was bc the focus was on an alpha/omega pair). and, to the omegas having their heat come late/not come at all (not as in "my period is late by 2 weeks"-late but as in "im 23 and have never had a period"-late), it could be caused by a multitude of factors, there was a whole list that ive long-since forgotten. i remember the one the fic went into was that the omega had gone through periods of malnutrition. now, Knives doesnt need to eat food-- BUT this fic got me thinking

now. additional backstory: uhhhh my mom apologized to me recently bc she realized part of All My Wild Health Problems could be due to her having been SUPER FUCKING STRESSED at work while pregant with me. i mean, her hair was falling out, the doctor threatened my mom's workplace to be less sttessful otherwise the doctor was going to write a note saying my mom should have extended paid paternity leave due to pregnancy complications. so i was getting shot up with a SHIT BUNCH OF CORTISOL, aka the stress-hormone

now. im just saying. if malnutrition can cause problems in fertility, and we also know stress can also cause problems in fertility rather famously (its well-regarded that war-refuggees and/or impoverished children will have their periods later than their peers due to the amount of stress their body is under. same with adults, their periods will stop if theyre under too much stress), and Knives is Usually Rather Fucking Stressed The Fuck Out (i mean. look at that man's control issues. his hatred of humans and anxiety about progressing his plan. come the fuck on) so i think itd make sense for him to be similar to my mom in that, basically, his "work" is delaying his In Season periods. so like, maybe the last time he had a Season was like back when he was a kid?? like the age children are with their period??? (not that im suggesting a kid had sex. just that. thats when it started and he learned what it is and stuff. not that he had sex.) but after the ships all crashed and now, even tho thats what he wanted to happen, Knives is now in a more stressful enviroment what with the whole Desert and Lack Of Civilization And People Handing Him Food situation. i think it makes sense that his body prioritized other functions and he just get In Season for a while (same with Vash, of course). and then Knives meets his human (and Vash meets his polycule), and they relax him, they incidentally lower his stress-levels, and whaT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HIS SEASONS CAME BACK?? WHY IS IT SO MUCH WORSE NOW?? (bc you were a child back then, Knives, now youre an adult, periods change as kids get older, keep the fuck up (mine used to be painless and Lot Of Flow, and now its Migara Falls and im in so much pain that i will crumple to the floor and kick my leg involutarily and be incapable of screaming. and now i have that arm implant that is supposed to get rid of my period. like. no blood, no pain. a small percentage of people get daily spotting. i couldnt do the pills bc of other medical stuff happening to me concerning my blood, so i got the arm-plant and i have no pain and i get Niagara Falls often enough that im almost always wearing a pad. which, boo. but ill take "no fucking pain" happily. but fun fact, if Knives SOMEHOW tries to get a similar implant from Dr Conrad, is that you cant get the implant until youre off your period; so Knives would still have the rest of his season and THEN he could have the implant if he still wants it. but i digress), Knives, your body is always gonna constantly change as you age and Plants live for a long fucking time so it makes sense that At Your Peak health/age-wise that this would happen) but yes, Knives being attached to you and finding himself less stressed in your presence and constantly seeking you out-- yeah, shit backfired on him a bit (and having friends/a polycule would back-fire on Vash, whoops)

but yeah, anyway, i saw in your snippet that you have your own idea for Knives was doing before this Season, and i just wanted to throw in my two cents about it. not saying you gotta change it (i would feel so bad if you felt like you had to defend yourself. you dont. please, do whatever the fuck you want lmao), just going "Cool idea so far, can't wait to read more! Here's my idea since you were kind enough to share yours! Yay, two ideas!" a'la that lovely "creativity is like a cake and we love having multiple cakes to choose from" metaphor that goes around this hellsite every once in a while

also i wanted to share with you those two Plant Dick Discussion posts. bc those are fun lmao

anyway, hope this sends despite me including links! ill screenshot it just in case and send a tinier message so you can let me know if tumblr ate this or not. but thanks for your part in holding up such a fun discussion about Plants in regards to their mating cycles and stuff, this has been fun!! ♡

The root idea!!!! You're so right!!! That would make a perfect explanation for why the forehead touch during Season is different than a normal platonic/romantic touch that would otherwise occur. I'm definitely gonna use that in the fic for that "link" is created between Nai and reader

I am also a Big Fan of the whole "stress and work and lack of interest in reproducing has kept Nai from ever going in season" and I've actually already included it in the fic! (The fic itself will take place at the beginning of his season when it's not too bad, but just bad enough that it's causing issues)

I will also keep those plant dick ideas in mind <3

[milf-harrington]

THE WORLD DOESNT WANT THIS TO BE SAID I JUST FUCKING GLITCHED AND X-ED THE REWRITE BUT NO! It’s happening world! I’m gonna say it. I’ve found kinda? similar aus(which I loved MAWH so maybe it’s basically already out there, if so anyone the link please I’m begging) but it’s hard to find stuff with mourning because of all the different tags for it on ao3.

The au concept re-rewrite (salty.) it’s just a concept of my inner brain so it’s not very flushed out and I hate the tumblr spacing size so it’s a bit clunky I apologize!.

But Steve falls in love with Eddie after he dies; it’s the pain of living off “what could have been”s and stories. But before his realization, everyone’s moving on in their own ways, sometimes it’s with the help of steve listening, giving advise when he can, but most of the hellfire kids stories end up going to the same place, Eddie. All the fun they had with him the campaigns, the friendship and school with him so Steve just,, sometimes let’s it slip his mind that Eddies gone. the only time he really remembers what happened is because of dreams or the harsh reminder from dustins breakdowns, but its due to of all this that it just never truly and fully sinks in that he’s gone gone and he ends up mourning late, maybe it’s weeks or months but he finally realizes that he’s never gonna get it, the friendship the hanging out or his,, more and it breaks him in such a human way, a cruel way honestly. he grieves heavy but he doesn’t wanna bring it up himself, everyone is doing so much better; so it just festers within the confines of his home, he starts not being able to go into random rooms such as the kitchen or his room or maybe parts of outside, it’s like barbera but worse; he can’t go the weirdest places, ones that don’t even have anything to do with Eddie, whys it worse? he didn’t know Eddie or Barbera that well but he heard stories of barbera too, saw her probably more then he did eddie, whys it worse?. so he ignores and ignores until it gets bad enough everyone’s noticing. the “whys Steve’s like this” and the “hes basically a shell of himself, what’s going on?” Honestly make things worse because he doesn’t know yet either, until he does. It hits him like a train. he’s fallen bone-crushingly head-over-heels for that boy, the one his kid friend basically brother he babysits watched die, the one they left the body of in hell. he feels guilty. he’s still getting stupidly blamed for the murders even though he helped with the trying to take down the real killer who was not really human, his uncle still thinks he’s missing doesn’t know he’s dead and steve’s just here, falling for someone he hardly knew.

that’s all I’ve got for now! I’ve got a migraine so I cant quite think of anything else for this au maybe Eddie turns out to be a creature of the upside down or he’s still dead and it’s just a story of acceptance and moving on and family or something but I thought it was nice enough to throw up into the world. I’ve never fully watched stranger things though (can’t, Dont know if the graphics will mess with my reality issues so I’m stuck on complications, clips and non real-and-moving fan work) so I don’t know how accurate it is but I still hope you found some enjoyment reading! Have a wonderful week!

bruh.

[cupsmp]

wait omg i wanna know ur thoughts on dean winchester!! (character ask game)

Okay this is for you and @vvcantwrite (since you both asked)

[character ask game]

First impression

I think my first impression of Dean was that he was reckless, toxic masculine a bit, and really really bad a communicating with Sam.

Impression now

I do love Dean (though i didnt love his character's ending but thats another post...). I love how he grew, i love how he stuck to his own autonomy, i love how he'd protect his brother, i love how he wanted better for his team (as described in the last season or season 14 i cant remember). I love how he loves. I think he's funny.

Favorite moment

This is kind of a shitpost-y moment but i did find the episode where he and that german shepard could talk to each other funny especially that scene where that bird almost told him the big secret or whatever. In terms of legit favorite scene, it has to be Season 11 finale when he gave his speech to Sam. I really cried.

Idea for a story

I've always wanted to do some rewrites of the last season between him and Cas and also on top of the fact i didnt really like that the series ended with his death to a rusty nail. I think i'd rewrite the end.

Unpopular opinion

I think him dying at the end was a bad ending. I think when Dean's overall goal was to have a happy ending for them all, living on the beach, and he was actively applying for a normal job to achieve that, having him die and then not even see Cas in heaven (when Cas was alive) was a really shit move for the writing of his character.

Favorite relationship

Him and Cas!

Favorite headcanon

I dont really have any tbh i havent thought about spn hc's in a while.

[matoitech]

hollyleaf and/or hawkfrost for the warriors bingo thing!

hollyleaf is one of my fave charactersi have said much about her. shes one of the few characters w genuinely good writing tho how much of it was super intentional is debatable which is why i didnt check off my headcanons > the actual character for her, cuz like Yeah but also her writing is some of the best we get. shes great, i love her, crazy girl swag. i think its funny when the fans try to make her a girlboss when a big part of the reason she killed ashfur was just being Scared and angry. her panic and pain unraveling her and leading her to make these rly interesting choices. the fact that it was hollyleaf who killed ashfur, as the sibling who had grown up defending the code so furiously, understanding her place in the world and it all being uprooted and finding out her birth broke two codes... that she wasn’t even in the prophecy when her brothers were and this alienation from them is so painful and real... chefs kiss. i also rly love that after she came back she was much more chill and i think understanding to leafpool and squirrelflight than her brothers were and i cant remember exactly but i think she had a better relationship w them by the time she died than jayfeather and lionblaze did. i rly love her characterization and growth. by far one of the best characters in wc and she deserves all the attention she gets. she gets the bitch section marked off bcuz it was important to her character that she be kind of like an obnoxious rule follower that ends up going off the deep end, not like, shes a bitch >:( obv lol. those who have the strongest beliefs in the fucked up parts of their society going the farthest... she has wasted potential bcuz she died but at the same time..... she could be stuck in the nursery with her third litter of kits w some random tom rn, that wasprob her future otherwise knowing how much the series hates women

one of those characters made who he was bcuz of the fans more than the books themselves bcuz in the books hes rly boring but FAN content abt this guy is WAY more fun. ive said it b4 i think the fan designs for him is a big part of what makes him continue to be popular. i think fan interpretations and rewrites of his character and goals make him more fun than canon, i do like him bcuz of what he culd be more than what he is, like as he exists in my brain. i think the best versions of him r kind of just like a lame villain whose bad at being a villain more than like a cool manipulator or whatever. i think hes just kind of bad at it and wants to be Evil bcuz his dad was evil and he has like no personality outside of that, and thats funny to me, but also like he could be more than that rewritten lol. in canon he just exists to tempt brambleclaw off the beaten path or whatever. i like that oots hawkfrost just doesnt exist to ppl like we never talk about him we only talk abt arc 2 hawkfrost lol but thats fair

[rapspud]

Bittersweet

Bittersweet    A/N: Decided to rewrite this one. Please enjoy.

Yoongi looked at your friends as he sneered at your prone form sprawled out on the ground, your fingers scrambling to find your glasses.

“Aw what’s the matter? The poor baby can't see?” He purred as he picked up your glasses and dangled them in front of your face before throwing them into the dumpster. “Have fun diving!” He cackles as he slides past your prone figure, cruelly stepping on your hand as he passes.

You could hear the snickers of his friends behind you. You watched as his best friend, Seokjin clapped Yoongi on the shoulder, and whispered, “Oi, I get the whole I hate “y/n” thing but seriously—that was a bit much don’t you think?”

Yoongi  couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “She ratted us out! So I fixed it-and now she can’t see to snitch! And shouldn’t you be on my side? You’re in just as much trouble as I am!”

Seokjin could only look at Yoongi like he had a third head, “ Yeah I guess, but still...there is-” at Yoongi’s raised eyebrow he swallowed what he wanted to say, instead choosing to leave rather than to help Yoongi’s victim, “Hey I gotta go I’ll catch you later okay?”

Yoongi smiled and waved good-bye before walking away from the group. How could he possibly explain how much he hated Y/N? No one here knew the truth about your families-how he had to share a home with you,  your family serving his. He had no respite from you. Yeah, Y/N deserved everything she got, he thought as he got into his car. Plus it's not like you wouldn’t rat him out when you got home about what happened. This time as he drove past you and saw you hunched in on yourself, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt as he saw you clutching your injured hand, staring resolute at the dumpster, knowing full well that you would go in after the glasses. After all, he knew how hard your mother worked to buy them for you, he knew how you worked 2 jobs and also kept track of your younger brothers. Deep down, he really hoped that maybe this time you would finally explode and tell everyone about all the horrid acts he committed against you. 

Except that you never did tell on him. 

In fact, you avoid Yoongi like the plague.  After finally scrambling into the dumpster and reclaiming your glasses, you clambored back out, hand still screaming in pain. As you stand there wiping the garbage from the lenses and picking off random refuse from your clothes you honestly don’t think you can sink any lower than this. You swipe grimey hands at your cheeks as hot tears run down them, thankful that you are alone. And as you walk away you begin to make plans. You couldn’t keep doing this. And with renewed energy you begin walking home, not didn’t looking back choosing instead to forge ahead, putting one foot in front of another until finally you were in your mid=twenties, and had your own little place. You were happy with your life. But you should have known. All good things must come to an end eventually. You hadn’t thought about him in years, attending school, graduating, opening up a bakery with your best friend. Essentially you were hiding, but not really. 

And then by some ill stroke of luck, he found you.

You awaken to the blaring of your alarm with a groan. Was it really 8 am? The flashing numbers of your clock inform you that it was in fact 8:59. Shit you were late. Cursing your snooze butten, you scrambled out of your bed and grabbed the cleanest clothes you could find off the floor and stumble as you attempt a whole new balancing act: pulling up your pants while holding a hot cup of coffee and a piece of toast dangling precariously from your teeth. As you run down the street towards the bus, slinging your backpack over your shoulder while you scramble to tuck your shirt in you promptly run into a solid wall and fall on your ass. Your hair is covering your face as you look up at  what you had plowed into, an apology already leaving your mouth when you got to the face. “Um…hi, uh…sorry about that.”

“Y/N. From YHSN?”

“Yes?” you become wary, no one around here really knows you as you chose to keep to yourself…“Do I know you?”

The grin that spread across the man’s face could be described as nothing less than cruel and vicious. “Yeah, Y/N L/N right? I am here to inform you that you have 24 hours to vacate the premises. Good luck.” He stated before unceremoniously dropping an envelope onto your lap and turning on her heel to leave you in a stunned heap on the floor.

What the hell had just happened? Maybe you were still dreaming?

You were dazed for a moment as your brain tried to compute the absolute absurdity of what had just happened and then you were on your feet chasing the man, yelling at him to stop but he just kept on walking.

Finally catching up to the man, you grab her arm, “What the fuck man?” you yell, “this is illegal as hell! Thirty days is the minimum!” You shove the notice back at the man, hitting him in her (very solid) chest hard.

“Y/n, Y/n, I see you're still full of venom huh? It’s completely legal actually-you see I” he leaned forward, “own the building now. And to my delight, what do I learn? I find out that Y/N L/N happens to be a tenant! Guess how happy I was to finally find you again after all these years and then get to have you vacate your home.” he laughs as you gape at him like a fish.

“Min fucking Yoongi, I do not have time for your petty ass childish bullshit! ” you hers, voice laced with venom.

“Aw kitten you remembered! I am truly honored! But alas I cant stay and chit-chat, and well, neither can you. Tata chica!” With that he jerks her arm from your grasp, sending you back to the ground in shock for the second time that morning, before climbing into an expensive black car and driving away.

You scream curses to the sky, because after 8 peaceful years, the man you had spent so long  running from and then finally forgetting, had found you. But of course, the sky only decides to rain. And as you trudge back home to call into work, (because seriously fuck this day) you can’t help but wonder how everything came to this moment. After a shower and change of clothes, you fall into your bed, allowing yourself one moment of respite before you begin to tackle this new problem, closing your eyes.

You were back there again, trapped both in a small body and the cave that haunts you as you watch helplessly at the rising water. Your tiny voice is raised, tinted with fear, “I told you we shouldn’t come here! My mama said-“

The boy next to you cut you off, “Crying ain’t gonna fix it, I will save us”

“You can't even swim,” You yell, unable to remain calm. 

“I AM GONNA SAVE US!” the small boy shouted, “so don’t cry Y/N.” He gave you a small smile, one that made you feel slightly safer and he took hold of your hand. “Follow me and don’t let go no matter what.”

“Okay,” you say, for some reason feeling braver after placing your faith along with your hand into the boy’s hand. He said he would, so of course he would save both of you. After all, he was your best friend and you don’t pick losers.

It was a lot harder though, when all was said and done. Yes, the two of you made it out of the cave alive, but not without nearly drowning, and you had slipped and injured your ankle along the way. Luckily, you did make it out, and while the two of you spent a cold wet night huddled together on the beach, you were alive. In the morning, you were rescued further as the search teams found. And while your mother had you wrapped up in her warmth and was crying and thanking the people over and over that had saved you, the same welcoming was not happening to the young boy. You could hear screaming as a woman in a fine dress and her husband yelled at the boy, your tiny hero, before there was a loud smack. You watch as the boy falls, hand clenched to her face, tears streaming down her face as her mother continues to land hard blows upon her body until she is dragged away. You cried out for you friend and as the two of you met eyes, for the first time you saw hatred reflected back at you. That was the day Min Yoongi stopped being your friend and became your tormentor.

He followed you everywhere, taunting you, breaking your things, and ultimately breaking you. Your mother finally quit working for her house the day he’d thrown your glasses into the garbage and you had come home, broken glasses in hand, face streaked with tears and reeking of garbage -you had finally confessed what had happened, what all had been happening. You had moved away, your mom working several jobs and then as well as yourself working, then you working to  pay your way through chef school and finally moving out into your own place. And all of it had just been destroyed because he found you.

You sigh looking up at your ceiling letting your anger consume you as you curse Min Yoongi to a lifetime of diarrhea. And an itchy butt. And you hoped her eyebrows fell out, just for good measure.

You look around your apartment one last time before closing the door with finality. this asshole, you think to yourself. “Just wait” you say as you look down at the address your brother had just texted you.

An hour later you stand before a gated house and ring the doorbell. And ring it. And ring it. And continue ringing it (after all it was nearly 6 am, and as you had learned that morning, if you want to ruin someone's day, do it first thing in the morning) until a sleepy figure stumbles outside and smacks your hand away. You take this opportunity to dart inside the gate and into the house carrying your things with you.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” Yoongi yells at you from outside, beginning to stomp back to her front door. You could only grin as you take in the pajama bottoms and robe, while you stand there like a goddamn Amazonian queen, “You took my home. this is payback.” and then you dialed the police, “Yes? Officer? There’s a half naked man on my lawn, please send help! I’m so scared”

You couldn’t help the grin that covers your face as you smile at Yoongi, “Good luck asshole.” You say sweetly, before slamming the door in her face. Nothing had ever sounded so sweet as the sound of the lock turning over, followed a second later by desperate pounding at the door. And Yoongi could only pound on the door until the cops showed up and he explained that this was, in fact, her home, as well as that the intruder was actually you. The officers had asked him if he wanted you arrested and for once he let it go, telling them that you were having a lovers quarrel and apologizing that they had to come out over something so silly. As the cops pulled away, he went to the back of the house and slammed the sliding glass door open only to find the house seemingly empty. As he walked from room to room he couldn’t help but get angrier and angrier. But when he found you passed out on her bed, he paused, somehow her anger dissipating instantly. He stood there, looking at your sleeping body and wondered if you would ever know her real feelings for you. If he would ever be able to tell you. And the real question: could you forgive him? He knew it was asking a lot, but he could only hope. He sat and thought about how to express to you the things he needed to say. He wondered how exactly did one explain how guilty he felt about how he treated you, how he didn’t really understand why he went out of her way to make your life miserable back then…and then you had left him. How, when you left he realized just how broken he was inside. When he bought the building he couldn’t believe her luck when he saw your name as one of the tenants, but her old ways came back hard and for some ungodly childish reason he couldn’t control himself. That he should have been apologizing that morning and telling you how thankful he was that it had also brought you back to him. He guessed that it was far too late for him to ever have your forgiveness and he couldn’t help the smile that played on her mouth as he approached the bed. He reached out a hand to smooth back some hair that covered your face when you wherpered, “Yoongi...” he stilled, “…I’m sorry” you mumbled. What could you possibly be sorry for? He couldn’t help it, but it made him angry that you would apologize to him after everything he’d done and especially while in such a vulnerable state that the next thing he knew he was grabbing the blanket and ripping it away from your curled form. It’s momentum  sends you over the edge of the bed to land in a heap on the floor. You sit up cursing her very existence,

 “What the hell Y/N?!” He yells right back, while you could only manage to stare up at him from where you sat on the floor. But this time you weren’t having any of her bullshit. You jump up and get in her face “ What the hell? What do YOU mean what the hell? Who the hell buys a building solely to evict one person?! Are you that rich? Do you hate me that much?”

Yoongi yelled back, “Hell yeah I do!“ 

"You have issues, Min Yoongi! I did nothing to you except be born! Do you know how hard I worked to forget what you did to me? And you come just back,” you pause, swallowing thickly, you would not cry. Not here. Not now, “But not anymore! I won't let you break me again Yoongi. I am worth so much more than that!”

Exhausted, you  move to push around him but he grabs your wrists instead and pins you against the wall.

“Let me go you asshole!” you yell at him fighting back for once in your life, all while trying to hide your face and the tears that were no longer just threatening to spill over. “Can't you just hate me from a distance? I’m sorry your mom was a horrid cunt to you! I’m sorry, okay! But please, just let me go! Leave me alone” And then her hands were gone, and you were free. You couldn’t help it, you looked up and stared him in the eyes, for once determined to make him see how he wrecked you.

Yoongi could only stare at you, watching as the tears fell, tears once again caused by him, and then he heard the five words that ripped open her wounds, words he knew he deserved, said in a voice so broken he didn’t know where he should start to even attempt to repair it.

“I hate you Min Yoongi.“

He couldn’t stand it, he knew he deserved them but he just couldn’t stand there and just accept them. Accepting those words would be like giving up, and giving up probably the only pure thing he still had in her life. Had. And so he moved, not thinking about consequences, only a desire to cleanse those words from the air around him. He grabs you again, pushing you against the wall, capturing your face in one hand, forcing you to meet her eyes, while he brushes your hair away with the other, "Good. Never forget it.”

And then he crashes her mouth against yours.

You didn’t know how what was happening was happening and some stupid part of you was excited to have him pressed against you,  mouth was moving against yours and then you were responding and for some reason it felt so good–like coming home. It was like your body suddenly was against everything you wanted-you found yourself wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss, a giggle bubbling up when you nipped at her lip and he groaned. and then you both were tearing at each other's clothes in desperation. And then the world stops making sense. You and Min Yoongi, enemy of the state #1 were having sex. And it was good. It felt so right, like you two had been made to fit each other only. When it was over he lay behind you, placing gentle kisses along your neck and down your collar bone. The last thing you remember before falling asleep in your enemy’s arms was Yoongi gently wherpering a muffled “I’m sorry” into your ear over and over.

When you wake, you are surprised to find an arm wrapped around your waist and you freeze as the memories of the night before come rushing back and you begin to mentally beat yourself up as you carefully slide out of the bed and grab your clothes, making a mad dash out of the house, dressing yourself along the way.

No way had you slept with Yoongi and enjoyed it. You were an idiot of the highest order. You slept with the man who wanted you homeless because he hated you.

You let out a deep sigh as you did a very new special walk of shame to your job, where your boss, Mandi greeted you by yelling, “Oi ! What cat pissed in your cheerios?”

Causing the other workers to laugh until you pinned them with your patented Crazy-eye ™, at which point they scurried away except for that moron Seokjin who slung his arm around your shoulders jovially, “So why is my favorite girl doing the walk of shame?”

You glare and shrug his arm off, “None of your business.” 

“Dude its obs-you’re like a whole 4 hours late-and you are never late. So what happened? Anyone I know?”

“You’ll just call me an idiot if I tell you.”

“I swear on cake I won't.”

You raise an eyebrow before saying a name you never thought you’d say just to see him eat his words. “Min Yoongi.”

“Shut the front door! You’re an idiot”

“The cake is ashamed of you and asks that you keep your distance.” You say as you move to the back rooms to put away your belongings.

Not giving up, Seokjin follows you, even going so far as to hand you your apron, “Seriously? Didn’t he like-”

“Terrorize me to the point of moving? Then find me years later and evict me? Yep.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“You okay?” Seokjin asked worriedly, For the shit talking between the two of you, you smile to know he does really care.

“I have to be.”

“Did you at least use a condom?” He asks.

“Oh my god.”

“You really are an idiot. But don’t worry…you know I’ve got your back right? Well, we’ve got your back.”

You could only stare at Seokjin as your mind whirls through the consequences of last night, “It should be fine right?” you ask.

“Sure, cupcake. Keep telling yourself that”

There is a ding from the door and you see your brother Jungkook shuffles in with your other brother Namjoon, and giving Seokjin a look that clearly says “Keep your mouth shut if you want to live” you take a deep breath and head behind the counter to wash your hands, greeting them as you go.

“COFFEE. COFFEE NOW.” Namjoon grunts demandingly, taking a seat and burying her head in her hands,  while Jungkook adds a half-hearted “Please…and a raspberry jelly for me.”

“Rough night?” You ask as you pour the two men coffee and grab Jungkook her donut and slide it in front of them.

Jungkook grins, “Nah, Joon thought he could out drink me. He thought wrong.”

“Shhhhhhhhh!! You’re so loud,” hersed Namjoon, shoving a hand at Jungkook’s face and missing entirely.

You grin and speak extra loud, “Shouldn’t you know by now to let the kids drink and you go home and sleep?”

Namjoon just glares at you, “I have a gun.”

“I aint scared of you.”

The shop bursts into laughter as Namjoon buries her head in her arms on the counter, “Why do you hate me so much?” He whines.

“Mom likes you more, and I’m a petty bitch.”

Jungkook grins, “But she likes me most!”

Both you and Namjoon glare at him, “Shut up!”

Yoongi wakes up to an empty bed and he frowns, crawling out of bed and pulling on her boxers. He wanders around the house looking for you, hoping that you haven't run away and when he can’t find you, her heart sinks. Was he that awful that you would still run away from him even after what you had shared? And worse, what if he had gone too far this time?

He makes her way back to her room and grabs her phone, calling her secretary.

“Yo.” Answered Hoseok.

“Really that’s how you answer the phone? You do know that I am your boss right?”

“Debatable today.”

Yoongi rolls her eyes, “Anyways, I need you to find someone…”

“Well you know Imma need a little more…”

“Y/N. You remember her right?”

“You mean the girl you tortured in school because you didn’t have the balls to tell her how you lurrrrrrrved her.”

“I see you wish to die today.”

“No, not today. So you wish for me to find your wayward love?”

“Yeah.”

“Mandi’s shop.” Hoseok cheerfully replied, as if this should be common knowledge. 

“Oh yeah, great idea bring me some coffee please?”

“No, you idiot, Y/N works there. She is actually her partner” Hosoek irritatingly says matter of factly.

“The hell?! Why do you know this but I don’t?”

“Dude, seriously? You do know they were friends growing up and just because you made her run away by being a complete ass doesn’t mean they stopped being friends.”

“My best friend and my sister have been lying to me.” 

“It’s not lying when you never asked. But Yoongi…you should let her go. It’s been a long time and I know you had feelings but with how you treated her–“

"She was here.” Yoongi grunted, running a hand over her face as he stood in her closet trying to think of what to wear. What says “I come in peace”? Maybe he could get Hoseok to dress up as Spock and talk to Y/N before he does. 

“What? And you’re alive?”

“Yeah. We…um…she was gone this morning,” Yoongi sits down on her bed, running a hand through her hair.

"Oh…” and as realization hits, Hoseok intones sagely,” ...oh my god you’re fucking moron.”

“You know I can fire you.”

“Please bitch, I know all your deepest darkest secrets you ain’t gonna fire me.”

“Just…shit…what should I do?” Yoongi asks, finally letting go of her big bad boss act.

“Dude, I don’t know. You slept with her…maybe you should just…”

“I um…fucked up more than that…” He thinks about how you had felt, how he had felt...how absolutely perfect it had been for just one night, A flicker of fear strums through her heart at the thought that this was not salvageable at all. 

“No. no way. Our friendship is over.” Hoseok cracks from the other side of the phone.

“Just help me okay?” 

There was a long pause before he heard a heavy sigh, “Fine, but no games. She has a good thing going on and you-”

“I swear it's different this time!” Yoongi pleads. 

“Whatever. I should warn you though.”

“Warn me about what?”

“Her brothers.”

“Namjoon and Jungkook? We were old friends, what about them?”

“You were old friends until they found out how you treated her. And bonus points-they are both cops now. Partners even, so you should probably pray for your soul.”

With a groan, Yoongi finally gets up and begins to get dressed putting Hoseok on speakerphone. “I’m so dead.”  

“Yep,” affirms Hoseok, “So does that mean I can have your stuff?” 

Rolling her eyes and thinking he really needs a new assistant, Yoongi growls out“See you at the office.” only to hear Hoseok laughing before he hangs up the phone. 

Yoongi finishes getting dressed, and running a hand over her face as he contemplates this new information. You’d been right under her nose the entire time and everyone had kept it a secret. He guessed he deserved it though, he was a complete and utter ass to you. He also guesses it’s time to make it up to you and hopefully, you would forgive him and let him into your heart, where he belonged. After all, you’d always been in his.

2 months later

Yoongi stands outside her (former) sister’s shop watching as you serve your customers, and realizes sadly that it was the first time in a long time that  he’d really ever seen you smile. He wanted that smile for himself and himself alone, but he wasn’t sure how to get it. When he had remodeled your former apartment, expanding it through the two vacant units on either side of you, you just got mad at him for evicting you, when he was just redoing the apartment and you claimed it was far too large for you by yourself now. But that was the point wasn't it? He was hoping that somehow you would just...come back to him on your own and he wouldn’t really have to put any work in. Yoongi realizes then that he is an absolute dumbass.

After all, nothing he’d done so far had managed to make you smile at him or hell just give him the time of day and he was beyond frustrated. Couldn’t you see how hard he was trying for you?

Mandi pokes her head out of the shop interrupting his train of thought,

“What the hell are you doing here?” she snaps at him.

“Wow, do you greet all your customers like this?”

“Yoongi. Listen. Whatever it this is about now isn’t–”

Realization hits for the second time that morning, “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Mandi pauses, looking him up and down, “There’s nothing to tell if you already know.”

He could almost feel the metaphorical walls slamming down around him as Mandi went on guard. “Mandi!”

“No. Not about ther.”

“I’ve known for almost a month.”

“Then you should go know somewhere else.”  Mandi stepped outside, becoming a most effective blockade. If someone was to ever wage war against his sister, his money, hell, his entire fortune would be on Mandi.

“Listen, you’re my brother and I love you and I know you know what you did wrong, and really it's sweet you want to make amends but …Yoongi, sometimes things…”

“I slept with her.”

“Do you want a trophy?” Mandi snapped, her fists clenched, before she  shook her head, “you have five seconds or I’m opening ther door and I’m calling her brothers out here.”

“We didn’t use protection.”

“Well then I guess today you die you little fucking weasel.”

“I love her.”

That’s when he remembered his sister’s left hook and then the lights went out.

Mandi stomps into the store grabbing you by the arm and dragging you upstairs ignoring your protests, shoving you into the bedroom and giving you a look reserved for her son’s Taehyung and Jimin when they are acting up. “Stay.”

Mandi goes back downstairs and motions Namjoon and Kookie over, “Listen, I know you hate Min Yoongi with like the passion of 7 fiery suns but I need you to hold that rage in and help me get his ass inside.”

Namjoon was already up and out the door at the sound of Min Yoongi’s name, and seconds later was dragging a barely conscious Yoongi in by the collar. While Kookie held open the door, Namjoon made sure Yoongi purposely whacked his head on the door frame and when Mandi winced he gave her a look that clearly said “sorry not sorry” before dropping Yoongi on the shop floor like the sorry sack of shit he thought he was.

“I’m sorry folks,” Mandi announces, “due to my crazy family, the shop will be closing early.”

The patrons all scrambled out of the shop while Jungkook handcuffed Yoongi to a chair and dumped a cup of ice water on him.

Yoongi jerked back, fully awake now and met by 3 pairs of eyes. 3 very angry pairs of eyes. He shook his head and tried to move but found himself handcuffed to the chair and he gives Mandi a look that says “Really?”

“Kook uncuff him. Seriously. And you and Joon leave.”

“No.”

“Did I stutter?”

“Okay, but we get dibs if you decide to kill him.” Jungkook, grumbles as he undoes the handcuffs.

“I’m not going to kill him. Today.”

“Fine.”

Jungkook finishes unlocking the cuffs and Yoongi immediately rubs at his wrists and watches warily as Jungkook and Namjoon leaves the shop, rolling his eyes when Jungkook gives him the international sign for “I’m watching you” while Joon drew his thumb across his neck. They were dramatic as fuck, but then again he might just be dramatically fucked.

Mandi pulls up a chair and sits across from Yoongi and stares at him for several long moments until Yoongi breaks the silence, “Just say it.”

“Why?”

“It just happened like that.”

“Bullshit.”

Yoongi sighed, “I’ve grown up since then. I no longer want to pull her hair.”

“Clearly. And you didn’t just pull her hair, you did a lot worse.”

“Shouldn’t you be on my side?”

“I am fucking Switzerland.”

Yoongi couldn’t help the anger that swelled up and choked him, “Clearly not. You knew where she was all these years and you never said anything. This is why you never let me come to the shop then? You knew I was looking for her, that I wanted-”

“Of course,” interrupted Mandi. 

“Why?”

“Because you are an idiot who doesn’t know how to communicate. Look at what happened--when you did find her, your first action was to take her home. Who fucking does that shit?”

“You’re right, I was. I was cruel and spiteful. Keyword: was.”

“Bullshit. Taking away her home wasn’t because you were being spiteful. You wanted what she had. That’s called envy. She left because she wanted to live, and the only way she could was to leave. You made it like this. I almost lost my friend. So of course I kept it a secret.” Mandi sighed, rubbing her hand over her face. “Look I know. I know what y

our mom and dad did. How they treated us. We were mere points on a checklist of creating a picture perfect family. But you had no right-”

“I was stupid. You think I don’t know? That I don’t regret it? I love her. I always have.”

“Actions-”

“Speak louder than words I know. I’m trying to fix that now!”

Mandi closes her eyes, debating her next few words  "Can I trust you? That’s the-“ ”

“Yes. I swear I'll spend my life…”

“Doing what?” You interrupt, “Sorry, since you seem to be discussing me I couldn’t stay put,” you say to Mandi. “Yoongi I don’t want your money and if you are worried because we didn’t…,” you swallow before continuing with a brave face, “....I’ll be fine. but you really have to stop sending me presents. I don’t want them. Can’t you just stay…”

“Y/N I’m sorry. I was an ass.”

“Still an ass.” Mandi interrupts, “Look, you two clearly need to talk this out so I’m out. Come on Seokjin, let’s go see a movie.”

With that Seokjin and Mandi beat a hasty retreat leaving the two of you alone.

“Your jaw is swelling.” You say after noticing the blossoming bruise that marred his handsome face. Handsome? What the hell were you even thinking?

“Mandi hit me.”

“Why?”

“I told her what happened. She’s very protective of you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Y/N…that night…I shouldn’t have that.”

“I let you. It wasn’t just you alone.”

“Please, just listen. I’m sorry. For everything. And I’m sorry for not saying that when we met again. It's just…”

“It's just..what?” You questioned, meeting his eyes. 

“I don’t know. When I look at you I want you. You are so good and pure and you deserve the world. I wanted you to myself but I was scared…”

“Scared of?”

“You.”

“Me?” You scoff at the idea of anyone being afraid of you.

“Yeah,” Yoongi stood and walked over to you. “You had everything even though you had nothing. Brothers who worshiped you, a mother who did everything for you…what if I ruined that? What if my mother-”

“How would you ruin that?” You ask, finding patience from who knows where.

“I was messed up…and the older I got the worse…things got worse. You saw, you can’t pretend you didn’t. I took out my suffering on you because nothing good could possibly exist and you were just hiding your real nature. But you never retaliated. You kept reaching out to me over and over again. ”

“But I did retaliate.”

“By locking me out of my house after I took yours? Not really. I mean…I deserve far worse,” chucked Yoongi. He wanted so badly to touch you, to pull you into his arms and just...feel you. 

You stare at Yoongi. This broken version of Yoongi with tears in his eyes. Could you trust him? You wanted to give him a chance.

“Let’s….go on a date.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened, “What?”

“You like me right?”

“Well–I mean–I did when I was—I do”

“Take me on a date, final offer going in one–two..”

“Fine! I’ll take you on a damn date,” Yoongi smiles.

“No fancy shit tho. $100 limit.”

“I’ll take you on the best damn date of your life!”

“Good.”

Yoongi didn’t know why he was being snippy now, but as he left the shop he couldn’t help but do a little cheer when he got into his car. Hoseok rolled his eyes and politely ignored him.

Yoongi stood at the door of your apartment, and for the first time in his life he hesitated, hand poised to ring the doorbell, and then you swung open the door and suddenly the world stopped. You looked amazing. Your hair was curled, makeup accenting your eyes perfectly, wearing black skinny slacks, a hound’s-tooth patterned sweater over a white button down and pink heels. He took in the perfection that was you and thought, “She was made for me.”

And the fear was gone as he smiled at you and he took your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah let me grab my purse,” you say as you try to let go of his hand to grab the bag on the chair beside your front door but he wouldn’t let go. You couldn’t help the blush that blossomed over your cheeks as he stepped inside and grabbed the bag for you and waited for you to lock up so you both could leave.

He pulled you along, never letting go, until he reached his car and opened the door. It was only enough time for him to run around and get the car moving before he was locking fingers with you again.

“What’s up with you?” You smirk.

“Just…making up for lost time.”

“What?”

“I just…I should have been doing this for years now.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “So…are you always this cheesy?”

Yoongi’s eyes went wide, “I mean…I’m not…no…,” Yoongi stuttered and then stopped, “I guess I am cheesy it's just…I can tell you I’m sorry but…”

“Actions speak louder than words?”

“I see you have met my sister,” he joked softly, “And we’re here.”

“A movie? Really?”

“I always had wished to take you…”

Yoongi’s eyes stared into yours, “Yoongi…” you say timidly.

“Yeah?”

“I’m not her anymore you know? I grew up…you grew up…let’s leave it behind us and start fresh yeah?”

“What do you mean?”

You stick your hand out, “Hi, my name is Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

Yoongi stared at you you’d suddenly sprouted a third eye on your nose before awkwardly taking your hand and shaking it, “Min Yoongi…the pleasure is all mine.”

You can’t help but laugh at his stunned expression, not knowing he was just in shock from receiving your smile. To him, your smile in that moment could have powered a thousand suns. 

Yoongi was quiet but still took your hand and you entered the theater with a smile on your face, happy that things were getting better, that you could almost believe you had your first love back.

2 hours later.

“Yoongi,  why are you pouting?” You ask as you take his hand.

“Look no matter how I look at it, it's just not fair.”

“What’s not?”

“Mandi. Seokjin. They have spent years with you…years that should have been with me.”

“I thought we were moving forward.”

“But.”

You sighed. “Look. You want to know the truth?”

Yoongi stopped and stared at you, “yes.”

“Okay then.” You face him, “You crushed me in every way possible. You were my world. I followed you everywhere. I trusted you, and you were always there and then you weren’t. The night we got stuck in the cave I gave you my faith—but it also is and was the moment I gave my whole heart to you, willingly, without any doubt. And the next day when we were found…you stomped on it. And you continued to stomp on it. I cried so many tears everyday because I hoped that one day my hero would come back. But he never did. He became a villain.” You couldn’t help the tears that fell down your cheeks, “And even through all that I still…” you sighed. “I can't do this Yoongi. I can't. I’m sorry,  I was wrong to try.” You turned on your heel and ran away, ignoring him yelling after you, you just ran until you couldn’t hear him anymore. 

And then you found the alcohol.

You sat at the outside bar drinking as you thought about the past two months. All the things you had done with Yoongi , and how disgusted you were with yourself for letting your old feelings come back so easily. You knew it wasn’t the right choice, but it was the one you wanted. You had decided to drown yourself in alcohol,  and you were on your third bottle when the object of your conflicting emotions, sat down across from you.

“Y/N.”

“Mmm?”

“What are you doing?”

“Drinking!” Your giggle turns to a frown when you hear the heavy sigh come across from you, “Are you judging me? It’s not nice to judge you know! “

“Why are you drinking Y/N?”

“Because,” you leaned forward, whispering conspiratively, “I’ve been bad.”

“Bad? How so?”

You sigh dreamily, a wistful smile playing upon your lips, “There’s this guy…”

“There always is.”

“Shhh! This is my story!” You shout.

“Sorry.”

“Where was I?” 

“Something about a guy…”

“SHHHHHH! So rude interrupting me! Anyways…I’m supposed to hate him but…” you thump your chest hard as tears prick your eyes, “But…”

“But what?”

“I can't…I remember him before…and the him that I remember…he’s still there…and all the warning alarms are going off and I’m so scared to love him but I…I think…”

“You think?”

You lay your head on the table, mumbling, “Think it’s too late…think I love him. Think it has always been too late for me. Even after all the bullshit…you see…he’s still here” You thump your chest hard and sigh as you feel the tears slide down your cheek to land on the table, “ I love him and I don’t want to…I didn’t mean too…”

“Mean to what?” 

“To love him, but…”

“You do.”

“Yeah” you whisper softly.

“Yoongi…” you can feel the man smile, you don’t know how you know but you do, “why do I have to love you?”

“You love me?” He asks, the hope wrapped in fear in his voice twisting your heart even more than all the past crap that had happened. You wanted to let it go. You wanted to love him. You can only nod your head as your eyes slide close, and you struggle against the darkness when you hear him whisper, “I love you too Y/N…I’m just scared…I’m not good enough…I was such an ass…and I know you said to let it go…but God Y/N…I should have treated you like a princess…because the truth is…”

Those words cause you to sit up, eyes squinting hard as you try to make out his face, “Yoongi?”

“Yeah?”

You lean forward and his face comes into focus, a smile spreads on your face and you lean forward to press your lips to his, softly at first, and then he responds, a hand sliding up your arm to cup your neck as you express to him what you can’t say in words. This was so much better than petty arguments and revenge pranks.  

You pull away, breathing heavy as you rest your forehead against his, “Yoongi,” you whimper, keeping your eyes firmly on the buttons of his shirt, scared to look up, scared to see the fear in his eyes. Does he not know?  “Can I…can I be yours?“ You ask in a voice so quiet it is almost lost in the noise of the world that surrounds you. 

"Can you forgive me?” The pain in his voice was sharp. “I forgive you.” You whisper into his mouth as you make promises with your lips.

He pulls away for a moment, and you lock eyes finally. “Then believe me when I say, I was always yours, and you were always mine.” 

“I was?”

The amount of disbelief in your voice causes Yoongi to tear up as he pulls you into his arms, “Kitten?”

“Yeah,” you say as you rest your head into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

This time it was his turn to ask, “Am I yours?”

“You always were Yoongi. I was just waiting for you to remember where home was.”

Yoongi places the softest of kisses on each of your eyelids, and then he kisses away your tears and finally his mouth was on yours, and the kiss was full of yearning. “Y/N.”

“Yes?” You ask, sad he had pulled away. 

“Don’t leave me again…I love you too.”

“Okay.”

[princeofvelvet]

Who is in your Top 5 favorite MXTX characters and what is it about them that just *hits* you?

IT TOOK ME ALL DAY but i had FEELINGS. These are in no particular order

Lan Wangji - First one I fell in love with. LOve someone who’s protective (and a lil jelly) and also doesnt talk except when absolutely necessary bc thats meeee. LWJ is over here like *assumes people already know what he knows* like “yeah I bet he remembers the last thing i told him before he died”, meanwhile people (namely wwx) are misunderstanding his intentions and he’s misunderstanding WWX’s intentions and ahhh!!! too relatable!!!  He’s also gorgeous okay and powerful and rich but also just Very In Love I!!! Cry!! Especially in the extras. DOMESTIC WANGXIAN

Luo Binghe (you’ll notice a pattern here, my faves are the Overprotective Tops) AND also shoutout to LBH’s one and only husband SQQ, they’d be tied together at the number one spot but on their own only LBH makes the top 5 - God I just. Okay so first I fell in love with his babie self. Bunhe was wayy too adorable for his own good. Then LBH from the novel had me very frustrated and SCARED because how are they going to end up together!! This has a happy ending, right? RIGHT?? Because LBH did not feel like the type of character who’d get a happy ending, too possessive and emotionally immature (this is not to say I didnt like him. i just feared for him) BUT then, SQQ CHOOSES him, him!! Despite his flaws, he sees the potential for growth in him and says hey!! we’re not perfect but I think we can make this work AND THEY DOOO. The extras really solidified for me how much bingqiu loves each other (and with it my love for LBH). Friend said “theyre the most realistic couple” AND THEYRE RIGHT. [This is where I had a bighuge paragraph on why i love BQ but Ive omitted it bc this is about LBH] Ahem, but back to LBH, I love a character who loves Desperately. The scenes when SQQ “dies” and LBH cradles his lifeless body are OHHMAN, BUT ALSO when he sees him in his dreamscape and tries to wipe the blood on his face but only makes it worse aND ALSO when he’s just been reunited with SQQ after he got swallowed and the first thing LBH does is Kiss him!!!! AAHH head full, too many thoughts!!! Let’s move on!!!

Shi Wudu - The husband… Man where to even start… running away with his little brother, forgoing morality for his sibling, straight up rewriting fate for his sibling. The CONCERN, the WORRY, the LOVE, and yes, the Slight possessiveness!! 

All of Yi City gang - (am I cheating? Yes) I just cant put one above another… XXC was probably my second fave after LWJ buT ALSO Song Lan and his relationship with XXC is SO TRAGIC and XY is the one tying it all together and then A-QING, my girl, I didnt know I loved her so much until way after finishing the novel. Yi City would not be the same without her. THEY’RE A SET DO NOT SEPARATE 

EDIT because I realized I forgot 5. Wei Wuxian! I was going back and forth between him, Yin Yu, Shen Qingqiu, Mo Xuanyu and mmaybe Hua Cheng, and I have several reasons to like them all a lot! I think Shen Qingqiu and Wei Wuxian are eiher tied here or very close together. But Wei Wuxian is just. The most consistently likeable? I love SQQ a LOT and he’s completely different from any main character i could have expected and he had me in stitches laughing, BUT Wei Wuxian is just. Precious. He’s so motherly with the juniors, such a good friend, so loyal, so BRIGHT, and ofc his YP days are So. Amazing. Man, the contrast!!! It’s chilling, absolutely chilling. But my favorite side of him is him going full mama hen with the juniors. God he should be tied with his husband. Im so happy for him. Every time I remember his post-canon self, so happy and warm and well fed and loved and thoroughly fucked I just get so !!! yes!!! he deserves it so much!!! Wei Wuxian man, SO GOOD

But honestly you could say that about all of these characters and their respective partners (in SWD’s case, zam’s chosen partner for him, his brother). I truly feel like without their respective Others they would not appeal to me as much as they do. Except maybe LWJ and A-Qing. I can multiship them and do mean things to them and it makes me giddy instead of sad. 

[liamiya]

i love my jjk insert so much 🥲

SO! he’s a good boy! he’s a nice good boy!! he has green hair cuz i want green hair but no access to good dye ToT and brown eyes likes me! he also has glasses like mine, but wears contacts for missions so he doesn’t have to worry about them!!

his technique is actually kinda complicated so get settled: i call it judgement. it’s a shikigami technique, and it channels through his tattoos! the dragon tattoo on his right arm is named justice: when he calls her name, she comes out of the tattoo! the more cursed energy he pours into her, the bigger she is and the more damage she does! except justice doesn’t do damage, she judges a person solely on their character, and if they’re a good person, she’ll help and heal them, but if they’re a bad person, she’ll just leave them alone (but she can stop cursed spirits from regenerating!). the dragon tattoo on her left arm is redemption, and she does the damage. she’s incredibly vicious towards people with bad character, and incredibly affectionate to people with good character!! if dexter passes out or falls asleep, they’ll both be pulled back into the tattoos. whenever any of the dragons gets pulled back into their tattoo, any damage they took gets mirrored onto dexter. if they ‘die,’ they’ll be forced back into the tattoos, and it has the chance to put dexter into a coma. those usually last 2-4 days.

there’s only one more dragon, on dexter’s back: mercy. mercy is... tough to deal with. dexter tries to keep justice and redemption out in small forms as much as he can, so he gets used to the constant output and he’s always ready to fight. he tried to do so with mercy at first, but he got aggressive quickly. mercy doesn’t judge on character, mercy judges on what moves. the first time, he took a chunk out of justice’s back before dexter could stop him. the chunk never went away, and wasn’t mirrored on dexter, which leads him to believe that the dragons can hurt each other permanently. because of this, he never uses mercy. if he does, his options are to not let mercy get hurt, take the damage on himself, or possibly let justice and redemption die for good. mercy is a last resort: not like fushiguro’s elephant, more like sukuna. he will literally never use mercy unless it’s a life-or-death situation.

dexter’s parents are dead 💀 but he has a little brother! his baby bro can’t see curses, and dexter can’t really live with him, he has to stay at the college, so his younger brother stays with a foster family and dexter visits and makes sure they’re treating him well whenever he can.

honestly i haven’t really though ab his preferences much? obviously he dumps for everyone around him like me, but like who would he actually be with? idk

istg if todo asks dex what his type is dex is that bitch that’ll go “tall guys who would spit in my mouth” half because it’s true and half because it makes everyone else uncomfortable (yes i am talking about myself fuck off /j)

anyway. my boy. my baby. i love him. now tell me an yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs

me: BRO HE B LOOKING LIKE A CHARACTER THAT I DONT REMEMBER THE NAME RN BUT TRUST ME ITS SO COOL

I love dragons, so i REALLY liked the power!! i think that the addition (lets pretend i didnt rewrite this word 5 times) of mercy can lead to so much drama, so i love it, we all love it

ALSO HE IS SUCH A BAD BITCH THO, I MEAN, THE SMOL BRO ALREADY MEANS BAD BITCH ENERGY CUZ ALL OLDER SIBLINGS R BAD BITCHES, AND THE RESPONSE TO TODO LMAO AKLJKLJASJKLASKJDKLSA honestly i cant judge him AND i would even add a "my type is you if you spit in my mouth" cuz then it would b so much more uncomfortable and strange for everyone

imma just go pick up my sis at school and when i come back imma slide in ur inbox with my self-insert!!! (prepare for a lot of stuff cuz god....... i wrote so much stuff for her)

[paceywittergayboatman]

Pacey and Dawson  Gay Subtext at end of Dawson creek season 6

The last two episodes of Dawson's Creek don't make sense if you view without queer subtext. Meaning from a subtextual point of view it isn't what happened in Dawson's creek rather Dawson's tv show. And while that something worth explaining it's not what this meta is about. However, I am not here to talk about that rather the two episodes before that and two scenes of pacey and Dawson that directly address the gay subtext.

In the first scene I am gong to talk about which is in episode 6 21. Pacey has revealed that he lost Dawson’s money and gay chaos occurs.

Pacey: Actually, Jo, um... why don't you hang out for a second, 'cause you're gonna have to hear this sooner or later anyway. 

Dawson: What's goin' on? Are you ok?

 Pacey: Man, and we were just gettin' back to be friends, too. It's such a shame to ruin that. Dawson: What are you talking about? What would ruin it? 

Pacey: Money. Money would ruin it. 

Dawson: W-what happened?

 Pacey: It's gone. Your money's gone, my money's gone, some guy on long island's money is gone—

 Dawson: What--what do you mean gone? That was all the money that I had. 

Pacey: I know it was, Dawson, and I honestly thought Stepatech was gonna take off, I swear to you. 

Dawson: Right. Yeah, o-of course. Otherwise why would you blatantly ignore my request to sell the stock?

 Pacey: Man, I was just tryin' to do the right thing.

 Dawson: Ah, damn it, Pacey, this— [Joey is standing awkwardly in the middle of this looking back from one to the other with tears beginning to well up in her eyes] 

Dawson: [Dawson sighs] You're always tryin' to do the right thing. You're always so eager to be the hero, you never quite see all the pieces of the puzzle.

One of Pacey's character flaws is that he wants to save everyone because he never felt safe at home as a child and Dawson who has known him since he was ten knows this very well. Also, he referring to when Pacey dated Joey and broke his heart.

 Pacey: Dawson... you came to me with your dream because you thought I could help make something of it, and somehow this comes back yet again to the fact that I screwed you over? 

Joey: Ok, you know what, you two? Let's just stick to the topic at hand. Ok, so we can just solve this problem by going inside and trying to get calm... and we'll talk about it.

 Dawson: Joey, talking about this is not gonna solve anything. 

Joey hasn't quite figured out Dawson and Pacey are having a lovers quarrel and just wants them to get along.

Joey: What are you talking about? 

Pacey: He means it's not about money. So fine then, let's just talk about what's really goin' on here. 

Joey: You know what? I see no reason to drudge up baggage from the past just to fill in the moment, Pacey. I mean, let's remember something. This exchange between you and Dawson is purely a business exchange, and I think we need to remember to keep it at that. 

Dawson: She's right. It is business between us, 'cause god knows we haven't been best friends in a long time, have we? 

Pacey: No, we certainly have not. 

Dawson: You wanna know why we're not friends, pace? It's not because of what happened with Joey, even though that turned my world upside down. It's because from that day forward, I realized that you hadn't been my friend for... maybe quite some time, 'cause the second you made us competitors— 

The first, really important thing here is that Pacey dating Joey turned Dawson's world upside down. Dawson is kinda saying here that compulsory heterosexuality made them competitors. But also that they lived their lives trying to reach higher achievements than the other. Although I don't think this is true. I think Pacey thinks of Dawson as the man he's eternally trying to be better than so he doesn't have to admit he's in love with Dawson.

Pacey: That I made us competitors? No. No. Now--now you're rewriting history, Dawson. 

Dawson: I remember when my best friend had a choice and chose to turn his back on me. If you'd ever stopped settin' us up against each other, you woulda realized that you and I are not that far apart.

Pacey really broke his heart he betrayed Dawson in Dawson’s eyes. He just reiterating what I said early about being competitors.

 Pacey: Ah, spare me the speech. You are not gonna convince me that our world's... are anything alike. You're just upset because I broke outta mine. 

Dawson: Broke out of yours? How? By putting on a suit and slavin' away at something that doesn't even interest you? You made money. Congratulations. You impressed us all. 

The putting on a suit line is reference to the way Pacey’s job is referred to a costume as in performance of Heterosexuality specifically under a capitalist environment.

Pacey: How dare you. You know nothing about me, man. I was good at my job. 

Dawson: Then why am I broke?

 Pacey: Because that's life! I didn't make that choice! I have lost, literally, everything! What do you want from me, man? Does this make you happy, that you're back on top now? I mean, you always liked it better when you were in charge, so is this what you wanted? Does this make it all right? 

Dawson can be controling and self centered and Pacey knows that very well. Also you always liked it better when you were in charge has homoerotic undertones.

Dawson: You don't wanna know me, pace. You wrote me off a long time ago. 

Pacey: Really? Really? Back when we were the best of friends? When we were brothers? Was I just outta the house every time you tried to call me over the last 3 years? 

Again Pacey broke Dawson heart by dating joey

Joey: Ok, can you guys just stop it? I can't stand here and listen to you guys do this anymore

. Pacey: I didn't mean to lose your money. I didn't know that that would happen. I'm sorry. 

Dawson: Yeah, so am I. This-- this was just a big mistake from the beginning, I guess.

 Pacey: Heh. Ok.

One more very importamt scene from this episode. Joeys goes to talk to Pacey after the fight.

Joey: You ok, Pace? 

Pacey: You don't have to do this.

 Joey: Do what? 

Pacey: Sit out here with me. I know you'd rather be in the house with Dawson, so why do you just go and help him lick his wounds? 

Joey: Things never change here, do they?

 Pacey: No... because these are the roles we were destined to play. 

The roles he refering to our heterosexuality.

Joey: No, Pace, these are the roles we chose to play. I mean, look at us, sitting out here on this dock in front of the same house we've been haunting for years. We're practically ghosts of our former selves, and honestly, I don't think anyone really remembers what they're mad about anymore. 

Joey saying some very important things in here. One that the theses roles(heterosexuality) are things that they are choosing because then they don’t have to admit there gay. However I don’t quite she understood that Pacey broke Dawson’s heart.

Pacey: Mm, I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Pacey is still thinking like a straight man.

 Joey: Pacey, if I wanted to go back into that house, I would've gone a long time ago. Don't you know me at all by now?

 Pacey: Well, I don't want you sitting here feeling sorry for me. Joey: I don't feel sorry for you. I feel for you, Pacey. 

Pacey: [Sighs] Joey: God, can't you ever tell the difference? 

Pacey: I don't know. [Sighs] I don't know, because you and I have had a very confusing run of things. Especially lately. 

Joey: [Scoffs] Ok. You know, and no matter how much I love you or how long I stay with you, you're only gonna remember the moments when I leave.

 Pacey: Well, you gotta give me that much, because those are pretty much the most painful moments in my life. 

Joey: That's because you ask for them, Pacey. I'm sorry. You do. Your whole life, you spend so much time expecting the worst that you don't even notice the moments when people are loving you, and, Pacey, people spend a lot of time loving you. 

Pacey: Well... with all due respect, Jo, my best friend just walked away from me, but that's not even the worst of it. The worst thing is he hasn't even really known me for the last 3 years, so please, clarify that for me. How does that qualify me as a man with a support network? 

 Thing haven’t been the same since Dawson broke Paceys heart. Joey doesn’t even matter if he cant have Dawson.

Joey: Well, you have a person sitting right here, don't you? But of course, that's not enough. Not until you let it. 

She never be enough because he’s in love with Dawson

Pacey: In what world do I have you? Joey: Look, just because I don't fit into that... place you want me to doesn't mean there's not a place for me, Pacey. 

Pacey: [Sighs]

 Joey: Does it? 

Pacey: Joey, this isn't your fight, anyway. Joey: You're right. You're right. It's not my fight because it's been over for a really long time, Pacey, [Sighs] And it is up to you to make it right. 

She telling him to go fight for Dawson. He needs to repair his relatonship with Dawson.

Pacey: I don't know how to make it right. 

Joey: Well, you're gonna have to figure it out. You know, that's the thing about ghosts. They say that... they don't leave until they're at peace with what they left undone.

So now were on to the last scene of 621 in which Pacey and Dawson talk. Pacey has collected money for Dawson’s movie.

Scene: The ruins. Dawson is there waiting, when Pacey comes walking up and notices Dawson and knows that he has been duped. And goes to walk over to join Dawson.] 

Pacey: Hey. Dawson: Hey. What are you doin' here?

 Pacey: Uh, the same thing you are, I'd suppose.

 Dawson: Actually, I came here to meet— Pacey: Meet with Joey? Yeah, so did I. 

Dawson: I get it. [Sighs] Joey potter: Amateur peace broker. 

Pacey: [Sighs] Dawson: So where is she?

 Pacey: I don't know, but I'd say that she is probably not coming. I think she has this kooky notion that you and I are gonna work this out between ourselves. 

Dawson: Well, that's... not gonna happen. 

Pacey: Yeah, I know. That's what I told her, but we're talkin' about a girl who's never really listened to a single word that either you or I has ever told her, and I did, I said it to her, I said, "look, Jo, things will never be the same between Dawson and I." She doesn't listen to me. You know her, she's stubborn, that girl.

 Dawson: [Sighs] Well, if she's not comin', I'm gonna take off. I've got somewhere to be. 

Pacey: Hold on for one second. [Sighs] Look, you said some pretty crappy things the other day. 

Dawson: Yeah. So did you. 

Pacey: Yes, I did. And I meant them 100%.

 Dawson: I know, so did I, pace, and that's the thing, I don't know how we get past that. 

Pacey: Well, maybe we don't. Maybe that's the point that we just don't get past it, we realize that... we can't go back to the way things used to be, and there's nothing we can do about that 'cause the guys that we are now are worlds apart from the guys that we were back then. The only tie that really binds us together is the fact that we still love the same woman.

So the bottom line of what Pacey saying is that they aren’t the same kids who broke each other hearts. Also the line about the same woman is the compulsory heterosexaltiy talking.

 Dawson: [Sighs] It always comes back to that, doesn't it?

 Pacey: Yes, it does. Yes, it does, and you know what? I don't really regret a single second that I spent with her, and I'm guessing you don't either. In fact, I really consider us pretty lucky... that a--a woman like that would give either one of us the time of day.

They love her she there bestfriend. And there honored to love her and have her in there lives.

 Dawson: You know, it makes sense.

 Pacey: What does? 

Dawson: Why it never worked out for either one of us. All we wanted was her. So much so that we destroyed our friendship... and in the end, all she ever wanted was for us to be friends again. 

Joey is a lesbian and was never interested  in either of them romantically. They  were suffering do to comphet and convinced themselves they wanted her.  They were in love and Pacey broke Dawson’s heart by dating Joey.

Pacey: Ok, I'm gonna ask you this once, and then I promise you I'll never ask it again. Is it possible?

 Dawson: For us to be friends again? [he thinks then smiles] Anything's possible.

Everytime Dawson and Pacey get in a gay fight they do the interaction above. It’s cute but its also flirty and it reads as can we get back to together more than can we be friends. They love each other and even though they fight they never really give up on there love. Anything’s possible is kind of like there cute little make up thing they do when they fight.  The use of anything implys never ending and by extension an eternal love. It’s romantic and also in the actually scene they have eye sex and its very gay. This like them admiting that there in love, they removed Joey from the context of there own relationship and basically said there love is eternal its a great ending to there relationship.

 Pacey: Fair enough. Look, uh, this is for you. [Pacey hands Dawson the envelope with the money.] 

Dawson: What's this? Pacey: Well, I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of going to several local businessmen and asking them if they'd like to invest in a very promising young filmmaker, and, by and large, they were all very receptive, though there was this one dentist, and I don't know how she got this in her head, but she seems to think she's an actress, so you might have to give her a little role, like a cameo at most. Just warnin' ya. 

Dawson: Thank you. Pacey: Don't mention it.

So we end the story of Pacey and Dawson on three important points :Joey is a lesbian, Pacey and Dawson are forever in love and they don’t need have the relationship they had when they were kids they can just be boyfriends.

[bluesagedoesart]

finished writing a fanfic for a TSCP AU and I'm posting this before I decide to rewrite it 20 times

|| 1027 Words ||

|| Mind the tags ||

Marigold

Nix sat on the half melted asphalt of the Golden Gate Bridge. Her translucent green wings fluttered as she hugged her legs tight and cried. Bryan was dying, and Vio was with him, somewhere. Scarlet was nowhere to be seen.

Caliban still hung from bridge cables, despite his own attempts to escape and Peverell's attempts to free him. The cables were far too hot for anyone else to even go near, let alone touch. There was nothing Nix could do anymore. She was helpless. She could only sit there and cry, knowing one of her best friends was dying, if not already dead. The only thing left was the blinking lights of the city in the distance.

She was only disrupted by a chalkboard floating up next to her.

Try to stay hopeful, Nix.

Maybe Vio can heal him, we’ve seen him heal wounds like that before…

The words appeared one by one, the chalk floating gently in the air. The writing was scratchy and messy and Nix knew Peverell was just as distraught as her.

“I know, I just cant help but get the feeling that-" her voice was breaking and she could barely speak, but before she could even attempt to get the words out she was interrupted by the clicking of high heels on half melted asphalt. Nix looked up, startled, tears still rolling down her cheek.

Scarlet. Vio wasn’t back. And she was grinning, as if this were the best thing to ever happen to her. It took a while, too long even, for Nix to realize what this meant. But the moment she did she was thrown back in time.

It had been years. Twelve years. She watched the only person she had left be torn away and be taken to his death, only to forget he ever existed in the first place. Only to have him taken away from her again not a day after she remembered him. What had been a happy reunion earlier that day had turned into the worst pain she had felt in twelve years.

And then a spark at her fingertips. She want good at anything other than illusions but she could at least try. She couldn’t bare it, losing him twice, and not doing anything about it just made it hurt more. She stood, her hand raised, sparks flying off her fingertips.

Until a pair of invisible arms wrapped around her, holding her back. And it was silent. Too silent. Painfully silent. So she broke it, screaming, crying, trying to fight against Peverell, trying to avenge her brother.

But it was useless. And she knew it. But she kept trying anyway.

Until she couldn’t anymore, falling to her knees, Peverell following her to the ground. The invisible arms around her shoulders that had once meant so much to her just felt empty. What was the point? She had promised she would protect him. And she had failed, miserably.

A laugh comparable to a dying animal replaced her sorrow with rage once more. Scarlet just walked up to her, grinning even bigger than before, holding up one hand. But she wasn’t looking at Nix.

She was looking at Caliban.

And then she closed her fist, starting with her pinky and ending with her thumb, and following her lead the bridge cables tightened, starting at Caliban's legs.

The most agonizing scream anyone had ever heard.

A scream cut short when the bridge cables finished tightening around him.

And then he dropped to the ground, his wings bent and broken out of shape.

“No!” a piercing screech came from the crowd. Nix looked over, startled. It was Luther, and he was now running towards Caliban. Nix couldn’t bare to look at them. She just covered her eyes.

There was nothing but shocked silence, apart from the quiet sobbing of a vampire who was now completely and utterly broken. Nix sobbed too, for Bryan, for her brother, and now for Caliban. When would it end? When would the pain just stop?

How could they have ever expected a different outcome? How could they, for even a second, expect things to go well? There wasn’t any hope in the first place, not real hope. Just lies they told themselves in a useless attempt to find comfort. And this is how those lies end. This is how it was always going to end. They were stupid to have ever thought otherwise.

The invisible arms fell from Nix's shoulders. Even Amaryllis, who was indifferent to most things, had tears in her eyes. Yet Scarlet just stood there, a smile on her face. Nix wanted to be angry, but she didn’t have the energy anymore. She didn’t even have the energy to cry anymore. She could only sit on the ground, now staring, defeated.

Luther was sitting there, holding Caliban in his arms, still softly sobbing. Amaryllis slowly walked over to them and took a flower out from the braid in her hair. A blue flower, Nix recognized it as an iris. She crouched down and set it gently in Caliban’s hair, then went to sit next to Luther.

The flower immediately began to wilt. Nix looked back up at Scarlet, expecting to be angry, or sad, or anything, but instead she just felt hopeless. Scarlet waved her hand through the air and the flower wilted faster. Then she clenched her fist, the flower dying instantly. A single petal fell to the half melted asphalt below.

“Well have you all had enough?” Scarlet asked, scanning the crowd of people, her eyes meeting Nix's. “And you? Is losing your brother enough for you to finally give up?” She wanted to say no. She really did. But she couldn’t find even a single reason to do so.

“Yes.” She was quiet. Barely loud enough for anyone to hear her.

“Good, it would be a shame to have to kill you too.” Scarlet crouched down to meet Nix’s gaze.

“Why?" Nix leaned back. She wanted nothing to do with Scarlet. She just wanted this nightmare to end.

“We already have a fairy for the lab to dissect. We wouldn’t get much use out of another.”

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#5)

S3 e3: Trust Your Gut. From what I remember this is a big one. I just remember this episode title honestly but we’ll see what happens.

-look at that! ava’s just casually in this scene, minding her own business, doing her job! you would never guess that this is a character who would later have a psychotic break and commit suicide.

-that’s really the point i’m trying to make. I hate all those posts where they’re like ‘i hated ava before, but season 4 has finally shown her true colors’ like not even?? no??? we’re trying to prove that that was never even a thing. i want to eliminate the possibility of s4 happening from your minds. nothing from s3 should ever be used as foreshadowing. that’s what the rewrite is about, ava being a good character. ava was never going to commit suicide. she was never gonna go psychotic. that should be ingrained in everyone’s minds.

-anyways, back to the episode.

-connor takes everything like a personal attack. relax

- i never realized how fun stoll was. like obviously not in the story but as a character he’s hilarious. unattached by everyone else’s drama

-awww. this maggie interaction is amazing. tapping sarah on the shoulder (neck actually but whatever) just to say hi. adorable. and sarah is already super jumpy. come on. her anxiety is already setting in. they really gave sarah two huge storylines in the same season.

-maggie... no one else would ever slash sarah’s tires. i mean honestly

-WHY DOES CONNOR HAVE TO CONTROL OF EVERYTHING - honestly ava was just reading off the chart and he can’t even let her do that he has to take over just to say the same things.

-and the way ava just takes it with her smug smile

-she is such a strong character there is no reason she would have gone crazy over connor she literally needs nothing from him.he has not ever had anything that she needed. 

- SHE’S JUST ROLLING HER EYES, SMIRKING, AND SHAKING HER HEAD AT THIS INSECURE MAN ava I love you.

-okay there’s no way i can explain it but after rolling her eyes at connor Ava turns and looks at the patient and instantly her face changes and you can see such pure concern in her eyes?? s4 ava could never (can someone please rb with a picture of what i’m talking about? it’s uncanny and so so sincere.)

- she’s in control of her emotions. she cares so much for her patients so don’t even try to play that card. the only thing connor has done literally since she got here is get in her way.

-AND CONNOR LOOKS AT HER WITH SUCH DISTRUST AND CONTEMPT. TELL ME HOW. this is insane. exasperating.

-and the way she smiles and comforts the patient. i mean come on. she’s just so amazing. AND COMFORTING. if ava really was as heartless as people say, she wouldn’t take the effort to do that. connor didn’t even do that, he just scowls at ava.

-which just proves my point, ava is only ever mean to people who she thinks deserve it. and, the more that I think about it, she’s never really actually mean. sure, she’s blunt and rude, but never cutting. she’s nice to her patients (and I know what you’re going to say, it’s not because she has to be. she’s a doctor, she still wants to help people). but when her patients are dicks, she’s not nice to them. she’s as snarky with as she’s professionally allowed to be.

-like, take this guy. he seems nice enough. he’s funny, polite, comes across charming, so ava is nice and is polite back to him.

-let’s move on.

-why is connor always so suspicious of ava. come on. he’s the one who should be sus. she literally said ‘Don’t worry, Ray, we’ll take good care of you’ and he’s giving her this weird side eye.

-ethan and will being in this board meeting is really adorable to me. like, just, bros.

-oh godddd sarah please relax. sweetie. please.

-sarah fucking tranqed him oh my god

-oh my god noah asking people for help literally shut the fuck up

-straight people are gross. not to hate but how does anyone sit through manstead

-connor literally needs to chill. I know this bit (they’re arguing over menial things in surgery) plays more to them just picking on each other, pulling each other’s pigtails on the playground if you will (i didn’t like that analogy but I used it anyway), but if you look at it, ava was only trying to help connor (suggesting a wider possible target and an easier to handle stitch) and connor took it wayyy to personally. sure the second bit of advise is just poking at him, but she suggested a better spot on the base and he shut her down without any thought.

-and then latham points out that there is no point in arguing, to which ava defers, then connor snidely says ‘Thank you, Doctor, Now, how about from here on out we keep the background noise to a minimum’ and ava just shakes her head, scoffing.

-at this point ava just likes annoying connor because its fun. it’s entertaining. he gets so upset. everyone’s done that, just be annoying for fun (its bad to say but i mean come on everyones done it)

-another point, ava immediately deferring to latham might read to some as her being a suck up but that’s not what it is.

-ava really likes seeing how close to the line she can get. she goes right up to it, but she never crosses it. the same is true with her interactions with other people outside of surgery.

-I really like this story of the girl who passed out and hit her head, and her brother’s a wreck, and her parents obviously think the brother’s a disappointment. and it was finals week so of course she wasn’t taking care of herself. and the brother knew that, and you can tell he cares so much and feels so bad. it’s nice

-complication on the surgery they were working on. ava comes in with a solution (off of connor’s mistake during surgery after not following her advice) but I have a sneaking suspicion that by the end connor will be back on top

-the effort it took connor to say ‘it’s a good idea’ come on man just fucking let it go

-i’m glad we’ve all agreed that connor’s just a dick

-aw look at that she even held the door for him. connor would never

-i don’t want to overly push the ‘med is sexist’ thing but how is it that in a storyline between nat and ethan, characters who have never been romantically involved, they still pull the woman thinks one thing, man refuses to believe it and is right dynamic. i mean come on med seriously. what the fuck is wrong with you.

-the look of annoyance and disbelief on ava’s face that connor hadn’t actually messed up. comedic, but also i get your pain.

-glad that latham sides with ava, ava advocating for a riskier procedure so they could ensure the blockage is removed)

-(something could be said about ava’s high-risk, high-reward ideals. you could even draw the parallel to events in s4 and s5, even though I really don’t want to. it’s an interesting and notable character trait to say the least)

-YOOOO I FORGOT HOW METAL THE PSYCH STORY GETS

-dude straight up cuts his abdomen open and his intestines spill out

-the fear and shock and emotion on sarah’s face make me feel so bad for her

-WAIT IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE SHE LOSES THE END OF THE INSTRUMENT? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? i am not prepared to watch an ava bekker breakdown rn.

-the shock on ava’s face when connor said nice job.

-ava actually tried to apologize to connor. well, not apologize but she feels a little bit bad for just how abrasive she’s been to connor. (connor didn’t necessarily have to make it super competitive). Ava said “Look, I know i have the tendency to step on toes. it’s nothing personal”

-and now they’re not arguing and are this close to actually working like a team

-and i cannot believe connor’s big one-liner is ‘Murphy’s law’

-the emotion on april’s face when the girl’s parents won’t even let her brother grieve for her. I feel it. astounding. its so painful omg

-ava: “your optimism is enchanting.” when i was writing earlier I was worried I wasn’t being accurate with her dialogue and making it sound too overly formal but i guess I nailed it. also, this line reinforces how much I love her (so does every other line)

-connor just refusing to give ava anything, no credit, no nothing. doesn’t even give her credit for earning the surgery saying “you may have elbowed your way onto the case, but he is still my patient” (I JUST TRANSITIONED INTO A QUOTE SO SMOOTHLY WHY CANT I DO THAT IN MY LANG RHETORICAL ANALYSIS ESSAYS YOU’RE KIDDING)

-hey it’s joey!

- i can appreciate him so much more when he’s not chasing after reese

-do you remember their first meeting? bickering over who gets the last splenda? (real meet cute amirite)

-dr. charles remarking how all the scientific advances can’t beat human instinct, nice little tie in to the episode title

-ava just smiling while connor waits for her to apologize. she. takes. no. shit.

-i literally hate connor’s face so much. it fucking looks predatory like stop looking at her like that. it’s almost like you were planning her psychotic break

-ava’s cunning, saying ‘we’ instead of ‘i’ when talking about the decisions being made. she’s smart. she knows what to do. She knows how to present herself. (and yeah, a little hypocritical that she said to connor ‘when you fail, I will make sure that it is noted that it was your fault and not mine,’ but like I said, she just knows how to present herself)

-latham: “Dr. Bekker seems to enjoy this discordance.”

-rhodes’ face when changing his mind and saying ‘maybe I do’ when asked if he enjoyed it too - he literally makes the dumbest faces. please. stop. (is it a straight people thing?)

Alright. Another episode down. 17 to go. This was actually a pretty good episode all around. Ava took none of connor’s shit and you’d have to squint to find any sort of romantic subtext in their interactions, which is huge win in my book. reese’s storyline wasn’t too bad, she didn’t go through too much trauma, which, the bar for watching med is incredibly low i guess. This was a really good episode for ava. like I said before, very little romantic subtext, and she had a redeeming quality in the way she obviously cared for her patient at the beginning of the episode.

The main point is something I’ve been reiterating again and again. Ava cares about her patients. Ava is mean to connor because she knows someone needs to put him in his place, and she is glad that it is her.

All in all, this was a pretty good Ava episode. Very happy.

thanks for sticking with it.

-

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[cocastyle]

Wonderwall - Prologue

Pairing - Steve Harrington x reader

Word Count - 1,709

A/N - I’m so excited for this Stranger Things rewrite series! It and Stranger Things are like my favorite movie/show right now and I loved writing the In-Between so I cant wait to write this! I hope you all enjoy this and if you haven’t checked out my It rewrite or the In-Between (a stranger things x it crossover) go do that now and let me know what you think in the comments!

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

W O N D E R W A L L

Intro Prologue Season One 1 2

* - * - * - * - *

0 | Prologue

* - * - * - * - *

The first thing Y/N Hopper registered when she finally came to was that she was in a world of pain. It was as if her whole body was on fire, every inch of her burning at an agonizingly slow pace that only made it more painful as the seconds ticked by.

The next thing she noticed was that her muscles felt as if they were ten times heavier than usual making each movement slower than she would have liked. Even her eyelids felt heavy to the point where she could barely open them, only being able to get a sliver of light in before her head suddenly burst into agonizing pain while her eyelids screamed to be shut.

Y/N let out a low groan that vibrated against the rawness of her dry throat, instantly halting her in the middle of her actions. She tried to move her head slightly only resulting in her head rolling over limply until it slumped to one side.

But then it was like her senses all came back at once, hitting her in the face so hard that she couldn't stop herself from letting another groan escape her lips. She could hear the low rumbling of a car engine, feel the roughness of the worn out material that made up the backseat of her father's 1976 station wagon, and smell — that's when it hit her.

A strong smell of metallic with a very vague scent of gasoline lingering within. But the metallic, it was definitely there.

Y/N somehow managed to get her eyes to start slowly blinking open, each blink making her head hurt and her vision spin all around her. The first thing she did was glance down at her hands, a small whimper escaping her lips at the red that painted her fingers, staining the skin below.

Then she was looking up, her eyes fixating on the sight before her. Her parents who were limply leaning forward in their seats unconscious. She couldn't see her mother because of the fact that she was sitting in front of her, but the pool of blood that had begun to drop onto the middle console from that direction told Y/N all she needed to know.

She wanted to cry, but her eyes were already flickering over to her father who had a huge gash in his head from where the broken glass of the window shield had cut him. The air bag laid deflated in front of him and it was only then that she noticed the way her father's neck seemed to be hanging at an odd angle.

"Mom? Dad?" Y/N whispered, wanting nothing more than for them to answer her cries. But there was no response and that was enough to make the young girl's lip quiver as tears began to blind her vision.

The last thing Y/N wanted to do was look to her left, but she found herself doing it anyways and it was like her blood had run cold. She didn't know what she had been expecting when she turned to look in the spot where her brother had been sitting in minutes prior, but seeing the empty blood covered seat with the door of the car swaying gently in the wind was nothing that she could've dreamed of.

"Thomas?" Y/N whispered, her voice coming out so soft that it was almost brushed away by the wind. She was finally starting to snap out of the dizziness and weariness that had been clouding her vision and her voice came out louder this time, more panicked, as she cried out, "Thomas!"

The tears were falling by now and Y/N let out a small sob as she weakly fell back against her seat, her body hurting too much to put any more effort into moving. She tried to remember the events that had led up to that very moment, but it all was coming back in fragments that made her want to think it wasn't real.

The last clear memory she had was of them leaving her Uncle Jim's house. They had been on their way back from a family vacation on the outskirts of Indiana and had decided to stop by and visit her father's brother on their way home to Kentucky. Uncle Jim had never really known how to act around kids, so the whole reunion had been awkward and had felt like it lasted forever on both sides. The last thing she could picture was getting into the car while her Uncle Jim gave them a short wave in goodbye before disappearing back into his house.

From there, everything came back in fragments. The family driving through Hawkins, the town her Uncle Jim lives in. Her bickering with her twin about which of the Star Wars movies was better although she couldn't remember who had won. The family laughing about something before their laughs had fallen short.

Y/N looking out at the road ahead, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion at the sight of a dark figure standing in the middle of the road. Then after that, all she could hear was the crashing of the car as glass flew all around her. Then she heard the screams of her family, her mother's falling quiet real quick as a shard of glass broke off from the window and hit her in the throat. Y/N's own screams as she had attempted to reach out for her twin, Thomas looking back at her with wide eyes full of fright before the car finally stopped rolling and hit the ground, everything going black.

However, none of that explained what had happened to Thomas and Y/N began to cry as she looked to her brother's seat which had bloody handprints on it as if he had been struggling to stay in the car but something had pulled him out.

By the time the police arrived on the scene, Y/N was in complete shock, her body shaking so violently that if anyone didn't realize she was in shock they would've thought she were having a seizure. Jim Hopper was the one that managed to get to his niece first. His eyes vaguely scanning over the front row of the car before stopping on Y/N who was breathing frantically as she gasped for air.

Hopper was quick to grab onto Y/N’s shoulders, lightly shaking the girl as he tried to get her attention so he could help her. He ignored the amount of sweat that was making his hands stick to her wet shirt that was not only covered in sweat, but a mixture of her own blood from her wounds as well.

"Y/N. Hey, kid. Look at me. Look at me," Hopper pleaded, his eyes frantically flickering over the girl's face as he watched her stare into oblivion. When the girl didn't answer, Hopper carefully grabbed onto the girl’s face and turned her head so that her e/c eyes were forced to latch onto the man in front of her.

Upon recognizing just who was holding onto her, Y/N let out a whimper and whispered, "Uncle Jim?"

"It's me, kid. I'm here. You're okay now," he assured her as he tried his best to soothe the upset girl before he would have to hand her over to the medics.

"Mom. Dad," Y/N said, not able to get anything else out other than those two words. Hopper gave the girl a grim look that made her close her eyes as a few tears rolled down. She then blinked them open before her e/c eyes locked onto her uncle. "Thomas," she whispered. "Where's Thomas? Where's my brother?"

Before Hopper could so much as blink, the girl's eyes suddenly rolled into the back of her head and she passed out. Hopper's eyes widened and he gently shook the girl before yelling out, "We need a medic! Help! Medic!"

He looked down at Y/N and gently shook her as he muttered, "Come on, kid. Stay with me. Wake up." Then, frustrated that no one had come running over yet, the officer yelled out, "We need a goddamn medic!" Two men then came running over to the car with a stretcher and Hopper got out of the way while the two men got to work on getting the girl out of the car.

While this went on, Hopper quickly went over to the other side of the car, his heart racing as he came face to face with the empty seat where his nephew was supposed to be. He spun around for a moment, his eyes scanning around for any sight of Thomas who might've managed to crawl away from the car in an attempt to find help. But when he came up empty handed, Hopper didn't hesitate to pick up his walkie talkie and radio back to the station.

"This is Chief Hopper. We've got a 10-57. I repeat a 10-57. The person is a young boy around the age of seventeen. Short brown hair, green eyes, and was last seen wearing a white shirt and a red bomber jacket. Answers to the name Thomas Hopper," Hopper said, his voice getting softer once he mentioned his nephew's name.

Even with his nephew missing and his brother and his wife dead, Hopper still found himself looking after Y/N who had been strapped to a stretcher which was now being loaded onto the ambulance. He couldn't help but feel sorry for her as he realized the gravity of the situation. Y/N was going to wake up to a completely new world.

Not only would the death of her parents be weighing upon her, but her own injuries would mean she was going to be in a lot of pain. And with her parents now gone, that meant the guardianship of both Y/N and Thomas fell to Hopper meaning that she would have to pick up what was left of her life in Kentucky and move to Hawkins to start anew.

But the news that would break her would come with when she opened her eyes to find out that her brother still hadn't been found. And that pain, the pain of knowing that her twin was hurt and missing somewhere, that would be more painful than anything else.

* * *

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[myprayer1956]

thoughts on how i’d rewrite i, claudius (specifically the bbc miniseries. i havent read the actual book and have no interest in doing so) but most of them are about cali

make more of the women more sympathetic/more of the men less sympathetic. watching it feels like hearing the writers say “arent these bitches so evil, manipulating and killing these poor men” and its tiring

that scene where caligula has been summoned to capri and claudius is like “you’ll get tiberius to release your brothers and mother, right?”? change it so that instead of framing caligula as this apathetic and evil guy, he’s like “im 19. i dont want to die, too. why dont you help them?” so tht it questions claudius and his inaction.

no *nc*st shit. drusilla dies of a fever and the drama is instead based around caligula running off to the countryside and gambling and saying he’ll move there, then running off to another city and doing the same thing, coming back to rome and declaring he’s staying, running off to another city, etc and generally being inconsolable, while marcus lepidus (:eyes:) tries to comfort him and sends for claudius bc “you’re the only one who might be able to talk some sense into him”

related to above: include a scene (similar in tone to the “sometimes i think i’m going mad” scene in Hail Who?) where caligula asks claudius, “is what i do to you cruel, uncle?” and says “you’re still my uncle. i still care about you” (i will never let go of the concept of cali placing a lot of weight on the idea of family after losing so much of his)

caligula in general isnt Evil and just has his wires crossed from the trauma of capri. he’s used to treating the lives of others like tools to survive (deflecting tiberius’ anger onto others especially) so having to think of other people as People is disturbingly new to him, but he Wants to get better. his delivery of jokes is too straight, and he doesnt get jokes when other people tell them. when he’s upset (especially sad or scared), he Looks happy (another survival mechanism from capri). you can tie suetonius in here, too; suetonius claims cali would look in a mirror and make Scary faces, and here cali could practice expressions while thinking of the Proper emotions that go with them (ex. actually Looking Angry when he’s angry instead of defaulting to fawning)

have capri be explicitly traumatic, too. the scene in... what, Queen of Heaven? no, Reign of Terror, i think. after cali gives tiberius the p*rno scroll. you know the one. the way he gets low to the ground and sort of rests his head on the table (iirc) when tiberius sits down always came to me as a kind of self-defense mechanism (clearly making himself submissive to tiberius) and i’d like to see the consequences of that kind of behavior for years (plus im p sure suetonius, graves’ main source, says cali was a doormat while on capri)

get rid of the whole “baby cali killed his own father to prove he was a god” bullshit (and make him the proper age, too. germanicus died when cali was 7, not 10.) and replace it with the poisoner lady (cant remember her name oops) tricking him into stealing his father’s amulet by telling him the amulet is what’s hurting him. later on, the reason caligula doesnt want livia talking abt this is bc he blames himself for killing his own father and has guilt over it.

on that note, change the whole caligula-germanicus dynamic? please? instead of them “fighting like cat and dog” or whatever, cali is a total daddy’s boy who gets to come with to syria bc otherwise he’d throw a massive fit. i cant imagine germanicus dressing his son like a soldier if they hated each other (plus like... its terrible parenting to hate your child.)

more drusilla minor and milonia caesonia!!! they’re only in, what, two scenes? and i dont think we ever actually See drusilla minor, we just hear her baby sounds. actually seeing them (and seeing them with caligula) would give more weight to their eventual murder.

Get Rid Of The Fucking Dance. You Know The One.

that’s all that comes to mind at the moment but i guarantee you i’ll think of more later