#i could write a thesis or something rn

[theficblog]

kim doyoung. that’s the thought. 

[kimtaegis]

🌧️

[marciliedonato]

Thinking abt how last night on the heavn Hayley shoot post someone commented 'blink twice if gerard's next' and they liked it.... Maybe there's a pie in that bush after all...

[binniesbooks]

hi my fayebae~ since u said u loved the car clip of soobin, here’s one for u to write ur heart away!! (U can of course choose whether u wanna do it or not no pressure!! Im just sending since its at the top of my mind rn, ahh n im sorry for so many request i usually dont send anyt in but🥹i didnt think it would be this fun to see my request coming to life uk but i digress)

idk whether u would like this but:

bf!soobin x gf!brat!reader

they got into an argument and stuff but soobin who still loves his gf comes n picks her up after (cheerleading?prac of some sorts)

Otw home… reader gives the cold shoulder to soob, not talking thru out the entire journey? So soob decides to take a detour n drives to somewhere that doesnt have many ppl looking in the night.

They start talking n tried to resolve whatever their fighting abt, one thing led to another, well reader is giving him a bj!!(the rest of the smut is up to u!!)

inspired by that soob clip of course~ have fun love💗

REVVED UP EMOTIONS

SB 000 .F23 2024

wc 3.7k

pairings bf!Soobin x bratgf!reader

warnings oral sex, semi-public, unprotected sex, slight brat taming, being almost caught, pet names (+ anything that I missed)

faye's note this clip was on my mind 24/7. And after receiving it I got excited making this one out but I'm not sure if it turned out good because my mind was kinda occupied with thesis shit. Omfg. Anyways, I hope it isn't dry tho 😔

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, be it familial, platonic, or romantic. Arguments can arise from misunderstandings, unmet expectations, or simply the simple things from daily life. Recently, you found yourself in a heated disagreement with Soobin, your boyfriend.

The sun hung low one afternoon, casting golden lights through the window. You were sprawled on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone. Soobin on the other hand, who had just come home from a busy day at university, was busy, again, in the kitchen, occasional noises of clicks and clangs of utensils on pots and pans plus the opening and closing of the faucet can be heard.

You overheard him murmur "Yeah, dinner for two," as he clicked his tongue. You felt a strange pang of irritation swell within you. It wasn't about him or the meal he was preparing, it was you. You actually promised him you would help out, maybe even cook together, but here you were, scrolling on your phone.

You stood up as you trudged to the kitchen, arms crossed as you leaned on the sink. "You didn't have to do all this," you stood feigning nonchalance as you bit your cheek to not show the guilt you were feeling. "You could have asked me for help."

"Oh?" He looked at you with disappointment, "I thought you were busy checking social media," his blunt reply and harsh tone made your ears hot out of irritation. "I didn't want to interrupt your 'important' scrolling."

The sarcasm was too emphasized and it stung more than you expected. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Your eyebrows furrowed as you met with his gaze. "Nothing! I just thought maybe you'd care enough to have some initiative or something. We both agreed to share the chores. I was tired the whole day only to come back home without even eating a single thing." His voice raised with frustration as he threw down the spatula.

"I was going to help!" Your voice was quite high as you tried to cover how you abandoned your promise. "Oh yeah? I was out all day to finish my projects. And there you were scrolling through your phone." He said as he crumpled the apron he was wearing and threw it also on the table.

"You know what, Soobin? Maybe I don't always want to help! Maybe I want a day off too!" You felt the tension suffocating the air around you. Your heart raced but you're too afraid you're wrong.

"That's fucking selfish!" His voice rose, echoing in the confines of the kitchen. "You can't just say you want a break when we agreed to support each other!" He even added. "Fine! I guess we don't need any support then!" You turned on your heel as if fleeing away would help erase the hurtful things that had been said.

"Hey, y/n! Where are you going!" He called but you did not even take a glance. He called you multiple times but his voice just faded out as you were stomping your way to the bedroom.

That night, you didn't come out for dinner. Your mind was in a whirlwind of regret and stubborn pride. Soobin had a point, you were just lazing around that time, however, you don't want to accept that it was your fault. That same night, he didn't come into the room. Your shared bed feels so empty, but you can't just bring yourself to ask for an apology.

Later that morning, you tiptoed your way out. Still too early that your boyfriend was still sleeping, uncomfortably by the way, on the couch. You just grabbed bread and water and went out.

You two always ride his car to go to school. But this time you were determined not to ask for a simple apology and went out by yourself instead. And yes, you were planning to walk to school for your practice. However, some guy passed by and let you ride their car. Since you know the one who offered you a ride, you accepted the offer. It was Kai anyway, aside from being in Soobin's circle of friends, he was part of your cheerleading team.

"Why are you walking so early in the morning? Where's Soobin?" He asked out of curiosity.

"I don't know, maybe somewhere." You answered as you rolled your eyes, still being stubborn. "Are you two fighting?" Kai chuckled as he watched your actions while the traffic light was still red.

"We broke up." You nonchalantly remarked. Well, that was supposed to be a joke, and you never thought that Kai would actually believe those words.

"Woah shit! You what?" He was really startled at what you said as he covered his mouth while keeping the other on the wheel. You just laughed at him as you took the last bite of the bread.

Your whole Saturday went on like the usual cheerleading practice days. But since your mind is still in a whirlwind of pride, you couldn't focus. Causing you to crash multiple times while practicing. You were even scolded by your coach and instructors telling you that you looked like your mind flying or some sort. You just rolled your eyes at them whenever they turn their backs to you.

For that reason, you got hurt, earning yourself a few scratches here and there. You didn't even bother at all. Kai on the other hand, took the chance to treat your scratches. You're still not aware that he actually took your words this morning to heart and mind.

"It's just a scratch, Kai. No need to create a big fuss." You chuckled as he handed you a few bandages.

"Still, scratches can cause infection." He defended himself.

"Fine fine, you win." You sighed in defeat.

You two shared each other's company during lunch that day. You could even tell that many eyes are watching you -- no, most probably judging you at this point. Nonetheless, you just shrugged it off and enjoyed Kai's company instead. Not knowing that this could fuel some bigger fire. Fire that Kai holds, and fire that your boyfriend holds.

Since Soobin was not on the campus that day, he just stayed at home. He can't even contact you since you purposely left your phone. He was just cleaning all day. Just decluttering everything at home. He knows you're practicing today anyway. The only difference is that he usually accompanies you to school and waits for you until practice is done and brings you home, but now, he's just at home busying himself with the chores. He just planned to fetch you later this afternoon and treat you to some restaurant to make it up to you since he feels sorry about raising his voice at you.

"Let's wrap up here today." Your coach shouts as he reminds the assigned cleaners to clean the gymnasium before going home.

"Ugh! Cleaning this whole gymnasium sucks!" You complained, picking up the materials your team has used.

"Anyway, why are you still here? You're not on the list to clean today, right?" You were pertaining to the young boy tailing you. He smiled as he scratched the back of his head, "I want to offer you a ride home." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Don't you have like, any other things to do?" You asked, counting the pompoms before storing them in the box.

"Don't have any." Kai shook his hand as he took the box from your hand and headed to the facility room.

As soon as you and the other were done cleaning, you immediately headed out, Kai insisted on carrying your cheerleading bag. Once again, eyes were gawking at the two of you. You can hear a few of them mumbling but you still ignored it.

Kai opened his car door to let you in. But before you could even step foot inside, someone spoke which made you stop in your tracks. "Where are you headed to?" You turn around to see Soobin as he brings his window down.

"O-oh Soobin hyung." Soobin nods at the younger boy to notice his existence, his elbow hanging at the open window.

You quickly retreat as you grab your bag from Kai. "I-i thought..." Kai stammered as he looked at you. "I was just messing with you Kai, it's not real." You sighed. "What did she say?" Soobin interrupted as he turned to you. You're just a millisecond late to cover Kai's mouth as the words slip out. "She said that you two broke up." Soobin snapped his head towards the younger, a smirk forming on his lips. "Did she?" Kai just nods, still clueless. "Get in," Soobin commanded over you. "I'll take her home, be safe, Kai," Soobin says as he closes the window, whistling.

The whole drive is deafening in silence. You can't hear anything except the faint music playing on the car radio.

"Wow, did we actually break up?" Soobin states with unbelief as he taps his fingers on the wheels.

You were still saying nothing. "Y/n, seriously, are you still mad at me? You didn't even eat last night." He sighed as he continuously threw you glances. Both of your hands were properly curled up in a ball above your thighs clutching your short skirt as you stared outside the window. Looking at whatever unpleasant view outside that seems interesting to you.

The once bright clouds turned darker. "Is it gonna rain? I thought I checked the weather news before I went out." Soobin whispers, changing the stations to listen to the news.

The raindrops started to fall on the car window, drizzling softly as it made the glass cold. "Grab my jacket in the backseat." Soobin talks to you again, but you're not even giving him a single glance.

Soobin messages his temple, "I wanted to take you to a restaurant tonight to make it up to you, but it looks like it's pouring really hard. I'm sorry y/n, just please talk to me." He's totally losing his patience at this point as if he's gonna burst again but tried his very best not to go over the top. He regretted raising his voice yesterday so much.

The once-familiar view of the road becomes foreign to your eyes. You turned to Soobin, looking at his unusual demeanor. If he'd been talking so much earlier, his lips were totally shut now. You wanted to speak and ask him where he was bringing you or what was wrong but you stopped yourself. Whatever will be, will be, you thought to yourself.

The rain started pouring harder, and the once busy road you were on looked empty now. Thunder clasps from far away making a rumbling sound. You try to rub your shoulder to create friction to keep your body warm. You're starting to feel cold and Soobin hasn't thrown you a glance nor commented anything at you.

He suddenly pulled up on the roadside, and the light from the lamp post dimly flickered inside the car.

"Not gonna lie, I felt like a dumb ass talking to a wall earlier." His eyes met yours for a while before you averted your gaze. He grabs his jacket and hands it to you, "Wear this, you must be cold. I just realized, your skirt is too short, and your tank top is too thin, at that." He eyes you up and down as you wear his jacket.

"This is fucking crazy." He mumbled as he pulled his hair.

"Y/n, baby, look, I'm really sorry for raising my voice at you, hm? I was just really tired last night." He gently placed his hand above yours on your thighs.

Your eyes were following a few cars passing by as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. You felt Soobin hold your face gently. "Baby, please look at me. I'm not used to this. You know me." Soobin's eyes were practically begging. He couldn't stand you giving him the cold shoulder.

The truth is you were just afraid. You're afraid to admit you had acted selfishly. Afraid of facing him after a petty argument over something so trivial.

"I just want you to talk to me," he caresses your cheeks, words so gentle and comforting, "I can't fix this if you won't talk to me."

Soobin pulls you in for a hug, warming up your heart. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, surrendering to him and putting down your stubborn pride. You mumbled a soft sorry as he gently rubbed your back. You let your arms move freely, as you return the hug to Soobin.

"Please don't do this again to me." He kissed your forehead. "I'm sorry for raising my voice, baby. I'm sorry for making you feel upset at me." Soobin's probably the sweetest guy you could ever ask for. He can make you feel loved and appreciated, but of course, you're just stubborn and bratty at times, which makes him wanna lose his temper.

Soobin pulls away, showering your face with a hundreds of kisses. You can't help but giggle at his actions."I didn't mean to shut you out." You mumbled with a pout. "You don't look sincere." Soobin commented which made you pout more. He chuckled as he pulled you in for a kiss.

The kiss felt soft and gentle. That's why you had no idea, why he was shoving his tongue inside your mouth. He bit your lip with a little harshness making you push him away. "Oww! What was that!" You complained. Soobin simply smirked at you. "I'm asking for an apology and forgiving you for one, but not the other issue." His smirk turns to a frown. "Soobin I can explain that..." Your heart began to race, thumping so hard you could feel it in your throat.

"Why don't we use that pretty little mouth of yours on something else good, yeah? Instead of giving people an opening to pounce on you." His eyes scream anger and lust at the same time.

"What do you mean?" You asked clueless. "What do I mean? You really want to hear the exact words?" Soobin taunted. "I don't get what you are saying." You shook your head. "I'm telling you that you just made an opening to let Kai pounce on you. Are you that dense, that you don't even know he likes you?" You were shocked at what Soobin just revealed to you. You opened your mouth to answer only for him to cut you off.

"Or don't tell me you wanted it all along?" He scoffs. "Soobin don't talk like that --" "Don't talk like what, doll? Aren't you the one who told him we're over?"

That's it, those words pushed you over the edge, switching your bratty side once more. "Okay, so what? What if I wanted it all along?" Your voice raised once more. "Kai is a good guy, plus he knows how to take care of someone he likes." You pushed Soobin's chest away from you. Soobin scoffed again, brushing his tongue inside his cheek.

"And I can tell --"

"Backseat. Or else --"

"Or else what? Huh? Are you gonna order me around again? Raise your voice over me again?" You taunt.

"I said backseat, you brat." He fixed his gaze on you and held your wrist.

His words are firm and strong which makes the hair on your neck stand up. He unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted the gear to park, leaving the car idle and the headlights on. You have no choice. You crawled your way to the backseat. you squeezed yourself to fit and pass by the center console. Soobin followed quickly, making his way through the front and back doors. As soon as he settled in the backseat, he ruffled his hair to whisk away some water from the rain.

Your eyes waver as you avert your gaze from him. His hand squeezed both your cheeks, "My patience is running low from your actions, doll. You're making it worse."

Soobin pulled you on his lap. You were almost covering him with how big his jacket you were wearing. His surname is written in big fonts.

He hiked up your skirt only to find out you had nothing underneath other than thin panties. Soobin scoffs, "Don't tell me you were gonna ride Kai's car with just this?" You bit your lip as you placed your hands on his shoulder when he started to rub you with your panties still on.

Soobin clearly knows how to make your knees weak. With just a simple touch and you're back to square one from being a brat. He pulled your panties off slowly without breaking the eye contact. His brows are still furrowed and you can still feel his anger.

"Let's see if you'd still want to ride his car after getting out of mine." He clicked his tongue and licked his finger, pushing two at the same time. Your mouth hung open as you squirm. "S-soob..." You can't talk straight, no, you don't wanna talk actually, but he has his ways to make you open your mouth. "How is it? Still wanna ride his car?" A sly smirk tugging on his lips. In which you replied with just a shake of your head.

"I'm close..." You whispered, biting your lips, watching how his fingers disappears and appears in your cunt. You shudder with the sensation, your high coming to you. But Soobin pulled his fingers out. You whined, hiding your face on his neck as you grind yourself above him.

Soobin's too focused on making you say the word sorry for the said issue. He did not even expect you'll act bratty once again after just apologizing for what happened yesterday.

He gripped your waist. "Stop moving or you'll not gonna cum for 1 week." Hearing this, you whine once more. You can't stand that punishment at least. But instead of getting the words out of your mouth, Soobin wasn't prepared for your action of apology.

You unzip his pants and slowly stroke him. Your face is still hidden in the crook of his neck. Planting soft kisses on his shoulder blade to his neck.

"Doll." His voice is warning yet you didn't budge, with only a small "please let me" coming out of your mouth.

His hand rubbed your back up and down, slipping them inside your top. Your skin is burning to his palm.

"What's with you, huh?" He asked, but he clearly knows you'd rather act like his little slut than let the five-letter word out of your pretty mouth.

You pulled back, squeezing your body once again on the small space between his legs. "Fuck-- just stop giving him signs -- ohh shit!" Soobin clearly shows his frustration at how he grips on the door. You gave him a few kitten licks and swirled your tongue on the tip of his cock making him jolt.

He looks down at you, meeting your eyes, "Fuck, is the word too much for you to say?" You took him whole the moment he spit those words making him thrust up a bit and lean back his head on the headrest.

"Ahh!" His breathy moans filled the car, making the glass foggy despite the rain and cold atmosphere outside. His hands tangled in your hair as you bobbed your head slowly.

You whimpered at how his cock pulsated on your tongue and how his tip kissed your throat. He gently caresses your cheeks as he holds them. You automatically leaned on his hand as you let him fuck your mouth.

His eyes were tightly closed. Lower lip trapped between his teeth. One hand on your cheek to hold you and the other firmly gripping the door to keep himself grounded.

"Baby fuck!" With one last thrust, he's cumming in your mouth. Draining himself on your wet and hot lips.

His heavy pants were the only thing that could be heard inside the car. Not until you hear a knock on the window. You quickly scrambled up your way to the seat as you sat properly, Soobin shoving his shirt down to cover his exposed length.

He opened the window slowly. "Is everything fine? You're hazard is switched on." A police officer said with an umbrella in hand, roaming his eyes inside the car. He even added that he was just passing by and noticed the car had switched on the hazard.

"I'm sure I didn't put the car on hazard though., must be when I got out.." Soobin mumbles, "But everything is fine, we just need to talk something out."

"Take care then, it's pouring hard." The officer apologized before going back to his car.

You looked at Soobin, fear evident on your face. You were doing things in a semi-public place but here you are, totally scared of getting caught. Soobin chuckled at you.

"Can you turn off the hazard light?" He appealed. You propped yourself on top of the center console to reach for the hazard button. But seems like some other button is getting pressed instead, as your hands retreat back to cover your mouth.

Soobin's tongue is licking your exposed cunt. Eating you out while you're still on the center console.

"S-soob, wait.." you tried your best to appeal to him but he did not budge. He continued shoving his tongue inside you. He then gently pulled you back to his lap, slowly sinking you down on his cock.

One of his hands lightly squeezes your neck, the other one pulling one of your hands back. He stopped you from covering your mouth as he continuously thrusts upward.

"Tight.. so tight..." He mumbles at your nape. "Pussy so good for me."

"M-more please." You quietly pleaded as you tried moving your hips. "Someone's eager to be filled." He commented back. "W-wanna be full of you, Soobin." You're feeling lightheaded at how he's squeezing your neck. He can't help but leave hickeys on your shoulder as he thrusts harder.

"I'm gonna get you pregnant at this point," he huffed. "D-don't care, w-want you," your words are slurred as you lean back on his chest.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" No other words just curses, was coming out of his mouth as he felt his cum being released.

You were totally breathless, your body slumped on him, his cock still twitching and pulsating inside your cunt. Soobin is totally worn out, dipping his head down on your shoulder.

"Let's stay like this for five minutes then we'll go home." He mumbled.

@binniesbooks 2024

[licorice-tea]

Could I Be Loved By You?

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x reader, Roronoa Zoro x reader, Trafalgar Law x reader (separate)

Content: pure fluff<3

Word Count: 0.7k (total)

A/N: short head cannons are something i haven’t really written before, so i hope these are still good! im in class rn but i got bored so i just finished writing sanji’s lmao- please enjoy! :)

Part 2

What happens when you ask them; “Do you think we’re together in every universe?”

Vinsmoke Sanji - 0.2k

“Sanji, sweetheart-“

“Yes, love?”

You smile softly at him before continuing. “Do you think we’d be together in every universe?”

Sanji doesn't even take a moment to consider his answer- he simply blurts out; “Yes. Always.”

A giggle escapes your lips, which come to press a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t know what other answer I could have expected from you.”

“I have more to say, if you'd like to hear it of course.”

“Mhm.” You nod.

Sanji clears his throat with a flourish, as if he's about to present some grandeur speech. “You are the love of my life- and of all my lives. Without getting to love you and be loved by you, I don’t think I’d be able to go on. So, naturally, we would be together in every universe. If not; it must be a world where I don’t exist.” Then, he takes your hands in his. “My love, I’d be yours in any universe you’d have me in.”

Your gentle smile grows into a full blown grin and, naturally, your lips are drawn to his.

Roronoa Zoro - 0.2k

“Do you think we’re together in every universe, Zoro?”

He shrugs, and starts fiddling with his swords. They lean against the same wall that the two of you are sitting on, his legs crossed around the spot where they hit the floor and yours pressed up against your chest.

“Doesn’t really matter, does it? We’re together here.”

You simply hum in response. It was unreasonable to except something poetic from him in the first place.

“But I hope we are.”

At this, your ears perk up. You turn to face him with wide eyes.

“I just mean… I hope I’ve done enough to deserve you in other lifetimes.”

The corners of your lips quirk up in a smile, and your arms encircle his much larger and more solid one. “You do more than enough in this one. Don’t worry about that.”

Zoro smiles too- not only at your words, but the tickle of your breath against his neck when you speak.

He really doesn’t care to imagine other universes- not when a mere moment with you is enough to take up all the space in his mind for hours on end- but Zoro will still always indulge your whims.

Trafalgar Law - 0.3k

“Law.”

He looks up from his book at your urgent tone. “Yes?”

“Do you think we’re together in every universe?”

He scoffs. “Yeah, of course.”

You tilt your head, silently urging him to continue. He doesn’t though- and he won’t indulge your curiosity without verbal reassurance. So, you give in.

“Why? I was expecting a full thesis with supporting evidence from you, smartass.”

Law shuts his book. “Ahem; Then, I believe that we would be together in every universe because… well, we’re together now. It’s the natural order of things, so why would that change in a supposed parallel universe?”

He’s such a nerd. You want to kiss him.

But instead, you just shrug. “Things happen.”

“Then I’d like to think that our relationship is still a constant.” He finishes off the topic with that. What reason could you have for wondering if you would still love each other in other universes, anyway? The answer is so glaringly obvious- to him, at least. He continues, this time teasing you. “Now, did you have a genuine question, or are we just proposing hypotheticals tonight?” Law smirks at you, but his cheeks are growing pinker by the second. It’s a futile attempt to cover how endearing he finds the thought.

With a satisfied shake of your head, you turn on your heel. “Nope! That was all.” And when you reach the hall outside his office, you poke your head back in. “Love you!”

Law pulls his hat down further, props his book up higher, and sinks into his chair. His voice is a quiet mumble as he returns the sentiment. “Love you too.” Which, he really does; he’s just a little shy.

[lokischocolatefountain]

Comfort || Taken Care of

Based on this request

Series Masterlist

Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO)

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Rating: 18+. Like extremely 18+. I’d make it 20+ if that was a thing. Serious filth.

Warnings: Chonky age gap (Joel: early 50s and Reader: early 20s), extremely naïve reader, praise kink, innocence kink, non con, face-fucking, oral sex (make receiving), name calling, daddy kink, slapping, mentions of past abuse, mentions of FEDRA school abuse, dacryphilia, moneyshot, dbf!Joel (as friendly as that grump can be). Joel is a lying liar and the creepiest creep. Proceed with extreme caution.

Word count: 1.8k words

Summary: You are as sheltered as can be in a world that has fallen apart. Realizing the errors of his ways, your father has his friend Joel take you outside the QZ to teach you how to survive in the real world. Unfortunately for you, Joel is interested in teaching you more than basic survival skills.

A/N: I finally understand all the AO3 writers who are like ‘sorry for the late upload. My husband died, I gave birth, I was called upon by the US army to stop an alien invasion, my roommate stole all my things and I’m homeless. But here’s chapter 43 of my fic’ cause I am really really going through it rn. I submitted my thesis, I am defending it in a couple hours, I have to move my things to a new place immediately, I have to go to work and yet I wrote this. Who knew writing the absolute filthiest porn could make a girl feel slightly better while being in a dumpster fire…

“It’s okay, it’s okay…” he comforts you, his large hand cupping your face as he uses his thumb to wipe your tears. Shame he had to wipe them ‘cause they made you look so much prettier, got his cock so much harder.

“Oh, you poor thing,” he cooed as he unzipped his jeans. Life on the road was hard, especially for a sheltered girl like you. Your dad did everything he could to give you the best he could within the tall walls of the QZ. You knew no pain, no suffering, and definitely knew nothing of the outside world. So here he was, on your dad’s request, taking you out into the real world. The QZ could collapse anytime as QZs often did. So when it eventually did, your dad wanted to prepare you for a harder life.

Thankfully, Joel was a kind man. He held you at night when you were feeling cold, taught you how to hunt and carried your pack for you when you were feeling tired. He also comforted you when you felt lonely.

“Daddy…” you whined, too embarrassed to ask. Calling him Daddy always did the job too. You used to call him Joel, but it changed from when he started comforting you. He told you to call him Daddy, said it was more respectful, so you obeyed.

He never made you feel ashamed for wanting comfort, but something about it made you shy.

“Yes, pretty girl. What do you need?”

You put your hand on his lap and stroked him through his jeans though he was already unzipped and ready to give you the comfort you craved.

It started just a couple kilometers from the QZ. He found you sniffling in the corner of the abandoned building you’d both found shelter in for the night. He was so sweet about it too, asking you multiple times if it was okay for him to comfort you this way. He said your dad wouldn’t like it and that was true— your dad had coddled you too much and now he’d begun overcompensating for it. He yelled at you for crying, made you take up the worst shifts in the QZ and sent you off with his friend Joel— a man feared by all of the QZ— to go out and learn the world.

So you begged him to not tell your dad and put your mouth around his cock. From then, it was the only way you could find comfort.

“I need you to say it, darlin’… What do you want?”

“Please take care of me, daddy.”

“I’m taking care of ya already, aren’t I? Make you food, give you blankets, make sure the infected don’t get to ya… What do you want now?”

“Your cock. Please.”

He nodded and took himself out for you. He sat back on the rickety chair and placed a hand on your head, guiding you down to his cock. You took his tip first and sucked on it. He hissed, so maybe it hurt. But let you keep going. You opened your mouth wider and took him in, inch by inch. It hurt sometimes, but he reassured you that you will get better. You wanted to get better.

The taste was also strange. It needed getting used to. But now that you’d had his cock a few times, you were beginning to like it, to get used to it. It was salty from his sweat and it also tasted just like the skin on your arm. But there was something distinctly Joel about it.

“Just like that, darlin’. Good girl, aren’t you? Look so damn pretty like this,” he said, pushing you gently to take more of him. You gagged a little, but went on anyway. You looked up at him, wanting to smile at his compliment but too full of him to do so. More tears rolled down your cheeks at the compliment. He hummed at the sight and twitched inside you.

“Don’t forget to use your tongue,” he reminded and you felt embarrassed for forgetting already. You wanted to be good, wanted to learn everything he taught you quickly so you didn’t trouble him with the same thing twice. But here you were, having forgotten one of the important lessons already.

You did as you were told and moved your tongue along his cock, feeling his veins and ridges. He was hard, so hard but he was also smooth. He moaned as you did, making you shiver. It felt good to hear him moan, made you feel you were doing something right even though none of this was for his own benefit.

He did it just so he could make you feel better, feel less lonely. Sometimes you weren’t even crying when you got a craving for comfort again. You asked him on random nights to fall asleep with his cock in your mouth. It was becoming a kind of an addiction, like how your dad bought those pills from Joel to keep his nightmares out and now he couldn’t go without them.

You weren’t any help with other things either, even though you’d become a better shot and were more alert when it was your turn to keep watch. Suddenly, you were reminded of the time you missed a shot at a deer and made it run off, leaving both you and Joel hungry for days. You sobbed at the reminder, feeling the sharp sting on your cheek when he slapped you.

“Useless fucking whore!” He’d called you right after slapping you. You’d cried then and you cried again at the reminder, forcing yourself to take in the last of his length to prove to yourself that you would do better. He groaned and tightened his grip on your hair before pushing himself inside your mouth forcefully.

“Look so pretty like this, darlin’. Ain’t seen a prettier sight than my whore crying on my cock.” He said, pulling back before pushing into your mouth again. He hit the back of your throat and it hurt, god it hurt so bad. But he kept a firm grip on you, kept you in your place so you didn’t make mistakes again.

“Sorry, darlin’. Daddy’s gotta do this. ‘s too much,” he said, before grabbing your head in both hands. He hammered into you repeatedly, handling your face like it was something he hated. You didn’t know why, but that didn’t make you feel bad. It did the opposite.

You felt good. Like you weren’t a ‘useless fucking whore’ like he had said you were a few times. You were learning like he expected you to. The first time he did this, you forced him to stop and crouched over a bush and threw up the little food you’d eaten. It still hurt to be this way, but you were getting better. You didn’t have to throw up anymore.

He grunted and groaned, let out a few expletives that would’ve made you embarrassed if you were still back in the QZ. They were words you weren’t allowed to use back there. You’d come back from FEDRA school one day, using a bad word and it set him off. He slapped you, much like Joel would slap you later for missing the shot. When you did it again a couple of months later, he slapped you more times.

It was Joel then who came to your rescue. Promising your dad that you would behave better from now, he carried you off to his apartment and tended to your wounds.

“Ohh, of fuck. F-fuuuck… Mmm, such a pretty hole. Such a good hole for me,” he praised before pulling out of you. You inched closer to him, but he pulled you back by your hair, putting you back in place. You gasped softly when something warm hit your face. You tried to move away from it, away from him. It was wrong. How ungrateful did you have to be to jerk away from him like that when he was taking care of you.

“Fuckin’— fuck. Fuckin’ take it, bitch. Take my cum,” he struggled between pants as he continued doing— doing that. The warm sticky thing came out of his cock. You didn’t know what it was, didn’t know if he was okay. It had never happened before. You panicked and held on to his legs, afraid you did something wrong to cause this.

His jaw was clenched and his eyes were screwed shut. He grunted and moaned like he was in pain.

“Daddy…” you called for him gently. When he didn’t respond, you touched his thigh and began caressing it. Slowly, gently like he sometimes did to comfort you.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, afraid of what you’d done to him. He leaned back on his chair, his hand still in your hair. His breathing slowed down and his fingers massaged your scalp, making you feel good.

“Why’re you apologizing, pretty girl?” He asked, making you sigh in relief.

“I— I don’t— this,” you said, pointing to your face that held the white thing that came out of him. “And you looked like you were in pain.”

He chuckled and looked down at you, before cupping the cheek that didn’t have any of the white thing on it. “You really are so dumb.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” you blurted out, not even knowing what you’d done this time.

“I wasn’t in pain. I was feeling good.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm… I know your dad did a lot for ya; you’re his whole world. So it only matters to you when you feel good. But sometimes I need to feel good, too.”

“What makes you feel good?” You asked, desperate to learn, desperate to do for him what he did for you.

“It really helps to have a pretty girl. And you’re a pretty girl, ain’t you?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good, good. ‘s long as ya know. Pretty girls like you, you have three holes. It’ll make a man feel good. Just like when I put my cock in your face hole to make you feel good.”

“M-my mouth?” You asked, looking up at him with curiosity. You’ve never heard of it being called that… It felt strange, but you weren’t going to protest. He knew best. Just as your dad told you before sending you out. Joel knows best. Do what he says, no objections.

“Yeah. This pretty mouth,” he said, brushing his thumb over your lips. “When I make you feel good with my cock, I feel good too. But only if you’re a good girl. Only if you do as I say. You did good today, darlin’. You thought of me too instead of being the selfish bitch you always are.”

You surged at the praise, happy that you’d finally learned. Finally did something good for him instead of taking and taking and taking like a selfish bitch.

“And I know you wanna learn. So keep being good like this, okay?”

You nodded.

“Keep being good and I’ll teach you about your other holes.”

“Thank you, Daddy…”

[buzzybee26]

I've seen people saying that this season marks a transition from serious with silly elements to silly with serious elements (particularly after the 1st 2 eps) but now that we've had a lot more of the season, I think this is wrong. This season isn't silly with serious elements, it's a serious season wearing the mask of a silly season.

Spoilers under cut

Space Babies looks like it's just "lol babies running space station, lol snot monster, lol farting space ship" at face value, but there's a lot more to unpack from how The Doctor relates the Bogeyman and being the only one of his kind to the underlying themes of abortion legislation and honestly a lot more to unpack than I don't have the brain power to write rn.

Devil's Chord keeps the silly tone, but destroys the world and does some important foreshadowing about Ruby and The One Who Waits. This is the one that leans most into the silliness, but it has the stakes to work with this analysis.

The plot of Boom is "The Doctor steps on a glowy land mine" which is a hilarious sentence and the next time preview for it was absolutely left us with a lot of questions pertaining to how that was going to be a full episode, but it ended up being a thesis on how organised religion, capitalism and war are some of greatest threats to humanity and they all make each other worse. Boom is played straight for pretty much the whole episode, but it looks like a pretty silly premise before you watch it.

The 73 Yards next time preview, whilst creepy, made the episode look a lot cheesier than it ended up being and they ran with this until the reveal that the pub goers were just messing with Ruby, after which we don't get any more stuff like uncomfortable close ups or characters expositing about local folk lore. The horror b-movie is a lie.

And now Dot and Bubble. The brightest episode of the season has the darkest ending so far. At first glance it certainly looks a lot sillier than it is with its bug-eyed monsters and "phone bad" aesthetic. This episode is all about deception. Ricky lies about the home world, Lindy lies about Ricky being alive, but there's more. The residents of Fine Time get the lie of Fine Time. The whole thing is about them looking past a vale to see what's really going on around them. The Doctor and Ruby get the lie that they will save these people. They go in, they try to help and the get cooperation for a bit, but the rich kids' pride and prejudice stops them. We as the audience receive the lie that these characters could be saved in the first place. The episode sets itself up to have a hopeful ending where the rich kids start learning to improve themselves as people in a new home that the Doctor brought them to. We get so focused on that narrative structure that we don't step back and look at the bigger picture. These people think they're so amazing because they don't waste resources with their consumerism and they have followers and they're stuck in a n environment that affirms their egos yet they can't even walk without their bubbles and they mostly get annoyed when the disappearances get brought up. Their egos are so overinflated and they're so used to being in an environment where they can only talk to other people who think and act like them, of course they're not going with the Doctor. They'll use him as long as they think they need him but they refuse to accept that they can't do anything by themselves if they're not in absolute immediate danger because they think they're so amazing. This feels like it should have a somber ending where we mourn the losses and look to a brighter future in the moment because of the tone and structure, but take a step back from it and there was no other way it was going to end.

This whole season has been a tonal lie that's been breaking down as we go and I really hope they do something cool with that idea.

[judasgot-it]

Ello o/, may i request again (dk if i can tho, don't feel pressured if not maken), really love the post you made for the request my heart literally- aawkwkw, i have so many things to say to that post but really busy asfck like if i wnated to, i could literally write a essay or thesis statement, */ahem anyway

BSD boys, while having a fighting/argument with s/o they suddenly grip they're s/o's wrist too hard and ended up leaving a mark (they didn't mean to tho ;-;) that reminded the reader's past child abuse/not used to this type of conflict which lead to angst to comfort or just angst hehe. Idk this is just a random 2am thought(my time rn) I have classes later waking up at 4am too…

AHHHHHH omg yes I'm so sorry I haven't like set up any request rules yet which I should do lol, but I'm so shehejwj but I don't have limits on requests! I just try to get to them when I can &lt;3 Also I'm so sorry about the late response! College is hard x[

But also, I wanna do some scenarios for this, so I'm gonna have to only pick a few that I feel I can write the best for this if that's ok cause ngl I feel the mercury retrograde rn,,,

Scenario: Accidentally triggering past abuse/trauma during an argument (Ranpo, Dazai)

Ranpo

Ranpo was a rather loud guy. That's not his fault, since he's only loud whenever he has a reason to be - he's confident because he knows he can get away with it. He's smart enough to survive some of the most dangerous killers, and is bold enough to laugh in their face about it too.

But god is it aggravating as hell whenever you want to truly talk to the man one on one. Sometimes, you just want to have a normal date with him - like a normal couple and do normal couple stuff.

Like right now, you just want to walk down this busy street and not have to listen to him boast about how stupid people were. It was embarrassing how loud he was about it, how the person who got hit with a car could have easily avoided it had they just checked both sides of the street.

A normal conversation to have after witnesses a horrible event, but you could feel the stares from across the street from the mans wife. Especially towards Ranpo, who seemed to have no social boundaries as everyone else in the area seemed to instead be occupied with the normal human behavior of freaking out after witnessing a man flying in the air and being hit by a car.

To save face, you dragged him away, with him still talking about it as if it were a normal everyday thing. In his world, it probably was - but not to you. Not to normal people, who didn't think about death everyday.

"Ranpo, you need to quiet down."

"What? I'm just saying. It was pretty avoidable you know?"

You turned around to glare at him, gripping your enclasped hands tightly. He thought nothing of it, swirling his ramune bottle rather casually. The ball clinked around with each step the both of you took together.

"I know that. But you do know that it's pretty insensitive to say that in front of him and the wife who saw her husband get hit with a car."

"Y/n."

You were forced back as Ranpo stopped on the sidewalk. It was apart of a narrow stretch of road, empty and away from the commotion, which forced you to look at him. He was staring at you with his eyes, as if trying to puzzle something.

"You don't actually care about them."

There was a pause. You blinked once. Then twice.

"What do you mean by that?"

He held your hand tighter, almost painfully so.

"You don't really care about them that much. So why are you defending them?"

His viridian eyes bore into yours, which deeply unsettled you. He meant nothing by it, especially with the iron grip he had on your hand which kept you in your spot.

"Because not everyone is a superfreak like you Ranpo!"

But it made you incredibly uncomfortable.

You felt the need to defend yourself, somehow.

"Some people have 'empathy' which I know is a foreign concept to people like you."

It was as he cocked his head to the side, like a crow trying to understand what you had just told him. It was as if what you just said had gone right through him, like the wind.

"You don't mean that."

He pulled you towards him. You tried to step back, but you only found yourself stepping around and trying to find your balance again.

You flinched when Ranpo reached to balance you, but you still felt the energy from your sudden bout of frustration pumping through your body. It was embarrassing, but your mind and body were reacting all on their own.

Ranpo kept staring at you, looking past your angry scowl and into something deeper.

"I'm not your enemy Y/n, I know you're upset but there's something more."

He left you feeling naked there.

"It's not that deep. You don't need to defend yourself against me."

You looked down, avoiding his eyes. The sidewalk underneath you was rather cracked and abandoned - there was a dandelion growing just underneath your feet, a rather resilient flower.

"I'm not defending myself, I'm just..."

Ranpo lifted your chin up so you could meet his eyes again, which were now softer, as they had quickly figured out the puzzle that he's struggled with.

You looked back at him. A part of you wanted to keep arguing - it was in your nature, to keep fighting. Unfortunately, it was something you've done for a long time, which Ranpo has figured out by now.

Another thing that made you feel a little uncomfortable.

He met you with a cheeky smile, like a little rat. He closed his eyes, his cheeks raising to meet his eyes.

"I know. You're a good person Y/n."

Dazai

"I just don't think you understand. I can't expect you to, but it's not your problem, so why are you so upset about it?"

Dazai was looking at you from the couch, watching as you were once again picking up bottles he had left from one of his drinking binges. He still smelled of last night, wearing the same clothes and smelling of the various drinks he had lost himself in.

"It clearly is my problem. I'm the one cleaning up your mess right now, so how could I not be involved? Dear god, do you ever look at yourself and want to even try to be better?"

Dazai looked at you, sitting up from his previous lounging position. He stared up, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared at you - his eyebags prominent in the early morning sunlight.

"What do you mean 'try' to be better? Have you ever even known what it's like to be like this?"

You rolled your eyes, dragging the bag to the front door so you could later bring it to the dumpster of your apartments. In your eyes, he was clearly being dramatic - sitting like some sort of mafioso, needing only a cigarette to seal the deal.

"Everyone has had it hard at one point Dazai. Losing yourself to alcohol every night and weekend doesn't justify it. You have a life to live you know? It's worth living."

You heard footsteps approach behind you, and looked up to see Dazai standing a little too close for comfort. His body was warm, and you could see the sweat and stains on his bandages. His hair was usually fluffy hair was greasy, but his eyes - they were dark, simply staring down at you.

"What do you know about living?"

"What?"

He had backed you into the wall, his hands now on either side of you, blocking you from exiting the danger that had become him and whatever emotional rage he had thrown himself into.

"You act like you know so much about life but you know nothing! You don't know anything about death or life - I don't think you know anything at all really. You feel all too comfortable making these assumptions about me when you don't know who I am, do you?"

He was smiling but it didn't reach his eyes at all.

You pushed at him, trying to find space to escape from his hold. His clothes and warmth made you want to burn your skin and run at that moment, and you closed your eyes in order to avoid the worst of your fears as you knew he was staring at you with those eyes that seemed to hold nothing but contempt in that very moment.

When you couldn't break free, instead feeling him pressing himself more against you, you felt your eyes begin to tear up.

"Dazai get the fuck away me."

"Or what? What will you do, oh sweet belladonna?"

You could feel tears build up in your eyes as your pushing did nothing against him - so you resorted to what you knew would work.

You raised your knee as hard as you could, and watched as Dazai fell hard on the ground, falling like a sack of potatoes. He writhed around, clutching his pearls while you gripped your pants, trying to soothe your nerves.

"Dazai I'm..."

You looked around your apartment, looking at the mess that it had become because of him. You looked back down at him, who was still on the ground and wasn't saying anything.

"Dazai I'm going to leave for a bit. Sorry."

I'm so sorry this took so long waaaaahh I'm a slow writer I'm working on it tho ;( also I was thinking about doing Jouno but I felt that it would've been super harsh so maybe I'll do him another time

[filmnoirsbian]

im writing my thesis abt internet and social media poetry rn and i just wanted to weigh in on the rupi kaur tags. while an argument can be made for the accessibility of her (and other instapoets) poetry, that argument centers around instagram as a platform and not the poetrys difficulty or aesthetic quality. in fact, i'd argue that the ease of accessibility is in fact harmful simply bc of the topics discussed in her poetry. rupi kaur & many instapoets like her mostly gained popularity bc of their feminism and while their poetry may seem that way at a glance, it's all just smoke and mirrors taking the form of feminist buzzwords. the actual text not only fails to undermine but in fact often enforces and perpetuates harmful patriarchal and very often racist powerbalances.

i can give some sources if needed but i cant remember if i only got access to those through uni or if theyre free to read. im sure i could fine something if needed to though. im off anon so people can just come directly to me if they want to

You don't need to give sources but I'd be interested in reading them if you want to share

[lillified]

Hi, so I'm in the process of writing my own transformers au, and I was wondering how you organized your lore, since I've been having some trouble with that (rn I just have a bunch of ideas floating around)

hey!! im probably not the best person to ask since I'm not very organized (alot of my ideas are just scattered about across art and conversations with other people), but i can tell you how i orchestrated my planning process :)

the very first things I came up with were the themes and the basic plot outline. while it was very tempting to flesh out random lore stuff I was interested in first, the overarching thesis was important for limiting my scope. think of it like a pitch for a TV show or something like that :) having an underlying story helps you think of things from the perspective of a completed work instead of just characters floating around in metaphorical space, and you can use that understanding to tie the character arcs together and keep everything consistent! in my case, I split everything into phases, so I've got a first, second, and third act, with any additional material separated into pre-story and post-story. most of the asks I do feature the characters as they exist in pre-story, with a few exceptions, like Hotrod.

After that, you can start thinking in terms of story beats instead of just concepts. Whenever I get a lore idea I try to figure out if i could make an "episode" or "issue" around that, and if I can't it gets scrapped or delegated to throwaway line/pitch bible purgatory. you can brainstorm ideas endlessly, but a big part of writing is deciding which of those ideas are good enough to make it into production, and which ones aren't!

another thing that helps me out is picking a main cast and sticking with it. It's normal to add or remove characters over time, but realistically speaking, not every background character needs their own feature--and not every background character deserves one! you'll be helping yourself out alot if you limit yourself, even in hypothetical "this will probably never happen" project ideas like this. in a similar vein, if you've got a cast of primary characters, be very careful about picking favorites. it's normal to HAVE favorites (and you're obviously allowed to indulge in what you want to see) but if one of your primary characters only exists to cheer on or play accessory to another, then that isn't a compelling character. your main cast shouldn't be third wheeling eachother :)

that's all!! again, this is all coming from my kinda scatterbrained hobbyist perspective, but you asked, so I hope this is helpful!

[fatuismooches]

hi :) i see your responses to my asks :) i see your reblogs :) i am absolutely not about to add sodium to the tea i am having rn :)

in all seriousness though oh my goodness smooches ;; i am glad i decided to take a little break from writing for now and be greeted with an influx of notifications alongside your responses to my asks and reblogs to the little thingies i published, just the perfect obliteration my heart needed to perfect my night <3

in response to your excitement about my kabuki series, ME TOO !! good god you don't know how over the damn moon i am just thinking about tomorrow like .. i should probably get a breather because this much excitement, while not new to me because i'm always excited, is about to annihilate my heart lmao

and now in response to your reblog of my fatui kuni drabble, yes. fucking yes. sorry excuse my language BUT. I GET IT. dearest when i tell you it's something i think about a lot — that drabble is actually what i wrote back when i was taking a walk near the seashore about i believe two weeks ago! but that aside, walks around snezhnaya with scara are like everything to me. like imagine him accompanying you to town or along the outskirts — very and i mean very attentively listens to you musings about everything and nothing because he doesn't have much to offer in comparison to what he wholeheartedly believes to be heaven in your eyes as you talk about very simple things ( i shall cut my rambling there because i have a whole series for fatui kuni that is primarily themed around that concept hehe ).

as for the 'nushi thesis...............

oops ~

no but this bitch had me on a chokehold for SO LONG, that i ended up writing not only lore but many, many other things as well from the small to the big deadass ended up being a presentation because i have arranged a design sheet and even chose a fucking theme for him. but king deserves it so (⁠~⁠￣⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠~

there is so much i could say right now, so much i can express but bloody hell i like, can't because i have successfully melted into a puddle out of sheer joy :')

YOUR HCS FOR KABUKI BTW ARE SO SO REAL !! SPEAK YOUR TRUTH QUEEN !!

goodness .. dear smooches, dear mutual, dear fellow tea addict /lh lover, to say that your responses have made my night would be one of the biggest understatements i've ever made in life :') like omg i am thinking of a way i could respond to every little thing you mentioned in your responses to my asks and in your reblogs, but i think the bright smile painting my puffy face rn is more than indicative of how genuinely thankful and happy i am 🤍

thank you and incredible lot. i hope mundanities with kabukimono hits in all the right ways and you get to enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing for it. i cannot wait to walk this journey with you and many others <3

— signed with much ( platonic ) love, ayame.

( don't tell kuni that i almost cried because tumblr ate the ask i previously sent you, please and thank you :') ).

the way i am actually about to cry because tumblr keeps having the ask i sent you just a minute ago as a meal............. i swear to god if this one gets sent unlike the other i am going to swallow a biscuit whole /j /nsrs

AYAME NOOOO IM SO SO SORRY TUMBLR CAN BE AN ASS LIKE THAT SOMETIMES 😭😭 But i am so glad to have received this ask from you omg, i love it sm ❤️ And you don't even need to thank me, I'm always happy to support and gush over your writing :)) I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND ABOUT BEING EXCITED TO POST there have been a bunch of times when i wanted to just post something at that instant instead of waiting (kabukimono series was an example when i literally posted back to back instead of spacing it out, i was SO READY 😭)

AND NGL YOU LITERALLY OPENED MY MIND TO SNEZHNAYAN WALKS WITH KUNI... i never thought about it before but. MWAH. i love the idea because i love walks and the cold especially if Kuni will be there to keep me warm hehe. Him being a silent listener is so so cute and real because you think he doesn't listen but then he brings up something random you said weeks ago and your heart just goes boom. (I propose to you now, you and Wanderer visiting Mondstadt/ Dragonspine and walking along the snowy path there too! Wanderer just has so much overflowing memories of the two of you doing the same thing in Snezhnaya, but you don't remember :( but at least he has a second chance with you to make new memories)

OH MY GOSH THE KURONUSHI STUFF EBWDBEWF bro. i so understand because when i saw him there i was excited beyond words. like FINALLY we were getting some Scara lore after like a year or something?? i also remember being sad that the furniture for the teapot wouldn't change to his picture :( but omg i love your dedication to him sm ITS SO SWEET I CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS ON KURO BC IM SO INTERESTED.

AGAIN IM REALLY GLAD MY SILLY RAMBLES MADE YOU SMILE!! *HUGS YOU* AND I TOO CANT WAIT TO EXPERIENCE YOUR KABUKI SERIES!! ILY TOO!! ❤️❤️

[sam-loves-seb]

weekly tag wednesday

thanks for the tag @deedala @energievie @metalheadmickey @mmmichyyy !!

🔤 Name: sam

🎶 Last song you listened to: october by happy landing

🎵 Artist on Spotify giving you the feels right now: niall horan is having a moment in my spotify stats rn bc i've never really listened to his music before but i'm watching The Voice this season and he's adorable as a coach so i figured i'd give him a shot and i'm vibing hard with a couple of his songs rn

👯‍♂️ Fave Blorbo Moment: fav blorbo moment is when mickey turns down ian's bullshit promise ring stunt in 10x09, like i know it's a sad scene but i could write a thesis on how that moment is the pinnacle of mickey's character development so. yeah.

🍟 Your guilty pleasure snack: nachos

🌮 What food are you craving today: chicken quesadillas

📖 Last fanfic tab you opened: 'take a breath, pull me close' by simmazeing -- a very lovely husbands era fluff piece that i thoroughly enjoyed

🖌️ Favorite fic project you've created: for the shameless fandom i think it's gotta be my whumptober series because some of my new favorite pieces have come out of that project. but it did just finish yesterday, so ask me this again in a month and see where i'm at

👩🏼‍🎤 Next tattoo you want (or would consider if you're not a tattoo person): idk i think like, wildflowers or something? i like the idea of them on my ribs. or the inner upper arm. i don't know. i have one tattoo rn (a small heart on my hip, my sister has a matching one on her wrist) but i want more at some point

🧐🆓 What's living in your head rent free this week: funny if you think i have any working braincells left after finishing whumptober. (jk it's daily pictures of my week old baby nephew)

tagging: @suchagallabitch @callivich @lingy910y @mickeysgaymom @sickness-health-all-that-shit @michellemisfit @gallawitchxx @rereadanon and anyone else who wants to play !

[3416]

re: mitchy/scapegoat stuff. ive never been someone who ever used the ask/submit button despite being here for like more than 12 years asjjdjfkf - but wanted to say that i love the more nuanced discussion you bring about sports/TML/ideology and frameworks etc surrounding fandom and sport culture. I roam around reddit a lot and am obviously subbed to all the hockey subs, and the bigger IG pages and ...good lord above. like, for the sake of optimism, maybe some of the comments about Mitch are just chirps and half-hearted jabs (shambles in his brain, tiny hands, and then like shitting on goalies as a tactic from auston (lmfao) etc.) --- but the ones on Mitch are so gendered, demeaning, and seem more personal. he's small, he's popular, he's playful and kind, quirky, bubbly and friendly and called 'mouse', whatever. and guys pick that "femininity" apart and go for the jugular where if he isn't a roided out, snagged a blonde haired gf with 2 kids and stoic, quiet and physical - he's a failure. tbh I have a broken ankle rn and housebound, i could go on and on about how Mitch is in the limelight as a vector to that gendered/ideological debate of masculinity in hockey but then I'd be writing a thesis on tumblr dot com LMFAO. tldr Mitch is an easy target because there's an outside pressure for players to fit a mold, regardless of on ice skill (imo)

oh yeah, i totally agree with you, and i think anyone who's taken any kind of interest in mitch marner has seen the way he's talked about on the whole by the typical masculine sports fan online and been like... what the fuck is that lol. right now the shitstorm with him is so fucking frustrating bc it's not valid critique of his play, it's SOOOO character based. it's people making up rumors about him. it's people wanting to run him out of town for fucking breathing. and then within that, you KNOW the men spewing all this shit or the ones primed to hate him ARE using that kind of language about him in private circles and it drives me fucking nuts. it's pretty transparent when people Pretend to be neutral about him, and then the SECOND something goes awry for the whole team, it's 100% placed on him and moving him is the ONLY option to change up anything about this roster. like no bro. i know that's not what your ask is primarily about, sorryufhjdskl... i get heated, but i'm just so ....... he really does represent what a bunch of old men ass hockey watchers hate about hockey nowadays but also what is ultimately making hockey more of a marketable sport: skill, lmao. and he's 'smaller' than the normal guy.. and he's genuinely pretty to look at... he doesn't play a gritty or hit-heavy game (and the game itself will continue to trend away from that style of play.. or SHOULD lmao considering the lasting injuries that come out of this sport but i digress. theyre behind the other leagues for a reason) and he sometimes has had an attitude with the media after being dragged through the fucking mud for many things out of his control. it's just so........ frustrating. and it's evil. and sorry if i don't take all the men who say that kind of shit's opinions in good faith or seriously when it comes to what the future of this team looks like bc if they had their way, it'd be a team i'm not even a fan of.

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

STICKING A MICROPHONE IN UR FACE RN:: DIRECTORS COMMENTARY ON THE LOML, FAMILY ROAD TRIP? SPECIFICALLY HOW THE DYNAMICS CAME TO BE AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU WISH TO SPEAK ABOUT

MY GIRLS!!! MY PERFECT GIRLS!!!! @normal-cactus1221 omg let me delve back into my neibolt gals mind palace---

(Family Road Trip Link!!)

GALS

Tbh they mostly Exist in the first place because I wanted to draw the neibolt kids as Gals and then my brain rotted into a million tiny maggots that still refuse to leave because they became the Peak of what I like to write when gender swapping (which is delving college thesis level deep into how a character would change when they were raised with the pre-existing bullshit of Being A Woman and Being A Dyke)

So, honestly?? It kind of started exclusively with Richie?? Which is insane because it’s truly so Eddies centric,,, but the whole scene in the Goodwill when Eddie realizes WHY neibolt!richie is Like That was the ENTIRE precursor to the fic 

((EX. “She was a doll, no free will, always forced to do as she’s told (too timid to disobey even when she was sentient). Her mouth was stitched shut, always seen and not heard because her trashmouth is permanently closed. She was just pretty and perfect from the neat little pink bow in her hair to the pair of shiny black buckle shoes real Richie had shoved in the back of her closet, shoe box still unopened from when she claimed she had ‘lost them’.

(But she was rotting, she was abandoned, she was everything people wanted her to be and they still left her alone to break and rot and fill with maggots, because no one cared. She was the problem).”))

like… N!Eddie is p straight forward in terms of Gross and Sick and Rude and Very Opposite Of Real Eddie While Being Similar Enough To Piss Each Other Off, which was very fun, but Neibolt!Richie makes me SO SAD!! And I HAD to explore that IMMEDIATLEY!! 

(Also, fun fact! I had a very specific and unnecessary map of their route and going through Connecticut instead of New York would take longer, so I specifically wrote in the whole part of Eddie not wanting to go into New York SO they could go to a Connecticut goodwill,,,, as I,,,, at the time,,,, worked at a Connecticut goodwill)

DYNAMICS

The dynamics of specifically Neibolt!Reddie was very fun for the sole reason of There Is Nothing On This Planet I Love More Than Feral Eddie Kaspbrak Being Aggressively Down Bad For Richie Tozier-- and it’s ALWAYS the case in ALL iterations of reddie but based on the nature of Neddie never having interacted with ANYONE but n!richie and pennywise, n!richie is ONLY person she really knows positively or cares about which is so fucked up and I’m obsessed with it.

And then, on the flip side, you have n!richie is who is EQUALLY down bad and codependent, but she’s a lot more polite about it and less blatant then neddie who is objectively very mean!! love her but neddie is MEAN!!

((Like,, for example ,,, a couple protective N!Richie moments:

'Richie is signing something, looking terribly hopeless despite how angrily her brows furrow and how pointed her hands clink together, Eddie just wishes she knew sign language.' .... '“She said that we haven’t...She also called you a bitch.”'

'“You know that’s probably why she doesn’t want to cut them right? Because the last time she did you got hurt?”'

VS

only a few, there are so many more, Protective neddie moments:

'Short girl yelps, shoulders squaring up to her ears as she shoves the tall one behind her'

'“She’s not your Richie. She doesn’t like looking like a fucking idiot.”'

'“We need to go after her!” ... “You’re just fucking leaving? You fucking ASSHOLE!”'))

So my three sort of key points for writing their vibe was:

They both care about each other DEEPLY and AGGRESSIVELY more than ANYONE ELSE and at ENTIRELY EQUAL LEVELS

Neddie shows it more outwardly aggressively and constantly vs n!richie dealing with it in a subtle sort of way that’s only blatant when it really needs to be

They’re still KIDS they’re just little GUYS

And then the dynamic between Eddie and the neibolt gals was tricky because Eddie is so fucked up at the start of chapter 2?? She’s SO repressed and also Eddie so I sort of just started with the fact that she’s unfortunately got an Aggressive soft spot of all iterations of Richie Tozier (including a fucked up sad little monster version) and would FUCKING HATE evil baby Eddie and evil baby Eddie would hate her RIGHT back and it devolved from there??

Eddie is physically incapable of Not Caring Too Hard, so what starts as general annoyance devolves rapidly into actual care for these kids (because they’re still KIDS!!! They’re traumatized KIDS!!!!) that she’s DESPERATELY trying to hide (and, because they are technically the same exact person, that’s also exactly what n!Eddie ends up doing)

And n!richie just loves her girlfriend and is generally uncomfortable but okay with this weird, bigger, cleaner version of her girlfriend and would like slightly less yelling please,,,, rip girlie,,,

OTHER RANDOM STUFF

The first scene I actually wrote was the one where the neibolt gals realize Eddie is married to a man because I still think that’s ABSURDLY funny in concept for these two girls to be the Physical Existence Of These Grown Ass Woman’s Internalized Homophobia

((“We’re the embodiment of everything you guys were terrified of when you were kids, we’re lesbians dipshit.” -- that’s it that’s the entire fic))

Also the scene at the big gnome is one of my favorites but DID almost kill me like objectively I almost passed away writing it I DID NOT know how to write it it took FAR TOO LONG

Also also I AM gonna take this opportunity to say that I am WELL AWARE that NONE OF THIS IS HOW CAR SELLING AND GETTING GAS WORKS I promise I KNOW!!! But theres simply NO OTHER WAY FOR EDDIE KASPBRAK AND TWO CHILDREN TO GET FROM MAINE TO LA REASONABLY but I do know that I doesn’t make ANY ACTUAL SENSE

Okay and here’s a fun little bonus very broke, only a couple disconnected scenes of a one shot I was trying to write a whileeeee ago about N!richie finding out about the two years she was unconscious,,, because that’s still one of THE most fucked up things I’ve ever done to two characters (both having N!Eddie be alone for that long and having n!richie NEVER FIND OUT LIKE…):

(N!Eddie POV)

Richie was never supposed to find out. She didn’t need to know about the two years that Eddie was alone and she was just a doll, it’d only upset her and Eddie tried to avoid that when possible because that’s when she would shut down and that really would have just made things worse for both parties involved.

But sometimes, especially in the Kaspbrak-Tozier household, things don’t go how they're supposed to. Actually, very, very rarely do they go as they’re supposed to.

---

2 years?

Human Eddie swallows, thickly. Thicker than she should, considering the lack of fucking slime, “Richie–” 

She snaps her head to Human Eddie so fast her neck makes a grinding noise where it connects to the bottom of her head. Ever since they cut her stitches (it’d taken weeks of building up to it and they’d needed to stop halfway through because she’d had such a bad panic attack she’d almost gone entirely unresponsive-- and after they’d had to painstaking explain that, while they had hurt her sometimes, they were entirely preformative and she literally had no vocal chords which seemed to upset their human counterparts more than it had ever upset them) she’d been more expressive, but now her face is impossibly hard to read. 

You know? Her signing had always been a little stilted, sort of like watching particularly well made stop motion, but she’s moving her hands just as choppily as she needs to after she’s dolled out and needs to reorient her mind to her body. 

“I–”

You. Know. How long.

It’s not a question. 

(N!richie POV)

Running had always come easy, in terms of fight or flight she’d always been the flier while Eddie had preferred to stand her ground, useless fists and loud, angry words that more often than not ended with one of them hurt. But she’d always wished she’d been able to do the same, maybe if she’d been stronger the two of them could have won more of the fights Eddie had lost. 

But there was the particular issue of how easily Richie shattered and how easily Pennywise could knot invisible strings around her wrists and use her against her girlfriend; sometimes she wonders if he made her quite so not-human on purpose. 

So, she got good at running. There was something reassuring about having a place to hide, knowing, trapped inside a house made up of broken floorboards and four walled rooms, that you’ve crammed yourself in the furthest corner, you’ve done everything you can to get away and now it's out of your hands. It’s nothing substantial, not when, more often than not, she’d wake up still tilted around her knees inside a kitchen cabinet or with Eddie kneeling over her in an upstairs closet and know she’d lost time and Eddie’d lost the fight, but it was something. 

The real world, as it turns out, is much much bigger than four walls. It’s something she’d known, in the abstract way you know that there is blood pumping through people you care about, it’s always there, drifting in the back of your mind, but once you actually see a substantial amount of it you wish you had never known about it at all. 

It’s a dodgy metaphor at best, especially for Richie, whose favorite person in the world does not, in fact, have blood pumping inside of her but instead a lot of fucking black slime, but all that to say, her world is bigger now and sometimes, even though all of this is much better than before had ever been, she sometimes finds herself wishing it was small again.

All that living in a big, wide world really does is make her feel like she can’t possibly run far enough when she needed to escape something.

---

Ben and Mike had fixed her cheeks, flushed out the maggots and sealed the cracks with something that dried slightly chalky when she prodded it with her tongue, thicker than glass but close enough in color and consistency that she thinks she’s the only one who could really notice. It was, overall, a good thing; she could go out without the dumb fucking masks, she hated the masks, the way the ear straps clung itchy inside the small crack segmenting her ears from the rest of her head, how it felt like a second barrier, a second line of stitches, keeping her out of conversations. Without the cracks more people looked her in the eyes, which was nice in its own way, even though Human Eddie had seemed incredibly upset that they hadn’t in the first place when she’d told her that.

All the perks of not having cheek holes were great, but she missed the maggots sometimes. She didn’t have any sentimental connection to them, not like her Eddie who’d said her cheeks were much less fun to kiss now, but having something wriggling and alive inside of her she could focus on helped reassure her that she’s alive. They helped reassure her that she’s awake. 

(Woah, random Stan POV)

Stan loves her friends, really, getting the Losers back in her life had been one of the best things that had ever happened to her, and Richie and Eddie’s kids just made everything that much better. That being said, when she had exactly zero friends with exactly zero children she had to drive half an hour out at three in the morning far less often.

AND BONUS here's the first Gals Sighting on my tumblr with my silly lil pandemic art:

AND!! My most recent them!! (or welllll most recent n!richie, I need to draw neddie again desperately)

That's all for now but I am SURE I will have more thoughts on it later!! I care about these kids SO MUCH!!!! I LOVE them!!! If you've got any specific scenes you've got questions on too I would LOVE to elaborate!! but my brain has become soup!!

[illwynd]

Tag people you want to catch up with/get to know better

Tagged by @gorgeousgalatea :DDDD! Ty!!

Last song: uhh the last one I was specifically intending to listen to, rather than just happened to hear in passing, was all of Dwarrowdelf's album Of Dying Lights, because I spotted it at the metal swap meet yesterday and was tempted to blind-buy it on a hunch but I always hesitate to do that with black metal (gotta at least do a cursory search for shadiness). However, nothing unsavory turned up and I liked the sound, and also I really appreciate when a band that has named themselves after something from Tolkien actually uses those themes in their music. Amon amarth I love you but why is a viking-themed melodeath band named that. Anyway, Dwarrowdelf. Pretty nice.

Last film: Last one i actually paid attention to was the rewatch of Pontypool the other night. I do really like that flick. I've watched a metric fuckton of horror movies in the last month or two and really good horror stands out all the more.

Current/last read: I bought JMS's Becoming a Writer, Staying a Writer a while back and hadn't had time to get to it, but I threw it in my bag today and I'm really enjoying it so far. I despise most writing advice books, and there are only a handful of writers who I might trust enough to give it a chance. But his perspective feels actually helpful to me. I also have recognized a few anecdotes and thesis points from when i went to his panels last sdcc lol.

Currently watching: the moon outside the train as we roll into the desert. If you ever have a chance to get your own room on a multi-day train trip, it's so worth it. Even the tiny little budget room... so cozy. Imagine lying sprawled out on an actual bed, closed off by curtains in your own private nook, being lulled by the rocking of the rails. The romance of the train is still alive. I wonder how far we'll get before morning.

Current obsessions: I have a few things sort of orbiting in my head, sparking off each other. I've been studying some old interests again, historical linguistics, human prehistory, etc., and it's getting to be acorn season, and I picked up my bow for the first time in ages and found that I could shoot better than i remembered, somehow, and i acquired a bunch of old books on carding and spinning and dyeing wool, and I've also been realizing some parts of me that got worn away by tough times in my life, some of which I'd like to get back, and some things i never picked up on before, and... I don't know what it's all going to form, in the end, but I feel like something is going to arise and I'm just trying to leave it space to do so. I feel like Delirium: "what's the word for things not being the same always?"

Tagging (if you feel like it!): @rynfinity @hechizero-emplumado @morganeashton @philosopherking1887 @pyrebomb @actuallyvady @rabidfirefoxfan @rollychan @obligate-rebel @seamayweed and uhhh anyone else who wants to do a meme rn :]

[xx-vergil-xx]

verg i really just have to ask you if it gets better

if you mean hounds: yes i swear!! i really truly do

look i’m all for media that makes u cry trust me i love a truly tragic narrative as much as the next guy but also — i think the sandman universe and its characters deserve stories that have hope! and things that end well!

the greatest tragedy in the comics to me is that like, morpheus really could’ve had a different life. he wanted something else, he wanted to y’know break his staff throw his books in the well be the magician who becomes a man, and these things were maybe accessible to him at one time! but ultimately the pressures of the narrative deny him even the simple things that would really make him happy. my god he just wanted to be loved tenderly and to have a good long rest and yet the change or die narrative he’s not only generated for himself but the actual nature of his assigned cosmic role has generated ultimately make him depressed and send him down a path he believes is inevitable and just. it breaks my heart. because he could’ve had better! he really could’ve!!

and so y’know as a fic writer who is able to enter the themes of the story and do some remixes and go wild, i’ve got quite a lot of liberty to see what happens when “change or die” is met with, slowly but surely, “change”. and i really do want to write stories that end with joy! with reunions and rightness and a sense that yes my god sometimes we will be hopeless but hope is still there, waiting to be felt! and though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death we need not be afraid!

and i know hounds is a story about grief right now but it won’t end that way, because i really truly believe that it shouldn’t. there is. a lot to be revealed. that speaks to a broader thing i feel about canon, a broader thesis if you will. a lot of what’s happening now is work to support that later thesis, which i’ll ramble about more when we get there since i don’t wanna spoil anything. hounds honestly represents like the most i’ve ever thought thematically in a large scale, so a whole bunch of what we’re in right now is context and backing for future developments, and is, by necessity, about grieving and loss and looking back wishing you could see things again, try again, start over.

to be honest, part II is me trying to write a middle state of a larger thing that will be revealed towards the end and that i’m loosely hinting at now (though it’s very very faint implication rn it’ll y’know get more obvious later), a thing that in my mind copes with the canon of the fates/blood oath thing plus the ramifications of dream being rescued, because i wanted to see if it could be done, if the narrative could be escaped. i hope that what i’ve got in store will feel right and true (and of course i hope y’all will enjoy it), but know that no matter what i believe that dream and hob deserve a happy ending. above all things.

(and also heaven knows i’m far too much of a sap to ever write anything that doesn’t end happy, i love these guys and the cosmic scale wildness of their narrative too much to see them end in tragedy)

so, y’know, tl;dr, on my highest honor it does get better. slowly but surely. thanks for sticking through it, friend, and you have my word that things will get better