#i could've just pushed it back or even cancelled it but

[zhxngii]

Sometimes it's better to just be quiet and isolate

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

Magneto had a really great character arc in the 80s which just got completely chucked in the bin because the new editor taking over the title thought that he should always be a one-note maniacal villain, and I'm disappointed to see X-Men '97 doing the same because the ex-showrunner wanted to recreate his favourite issue.

[somelazyassartist]

.

[aquasarsstuff]

Endeavors with the General ft. General Lilia Vanrouge x reader

Tag: Long haired Lilia, fluff, he's the wife, he's pretty soft here guys, no gender mentioned

A/N: how tf do you write him? You can't tell me that no one is taking care of that beautiful hair let's forget silver who only uses soap. This is tribute for my hair that's getting cut. For context, I have a wavy hair that's more than 24 inches long. With a small estimation, I like to think that General Lilia and I have almost the same hair length. Thanks for reading my fics guys. I feel like my passion in writing is coming back just needed some validation

Masterlist

---

Being a general, your husband, most often than not, comes home looking unkempt. You don't chastise him for it. In fact it is one of the ways you get to bond with him and his busy schedule. With the way between humans and faes, you rarely got the chance to spend with Lilia as the kingdom's safety often calls for his attention. Most of the time, you are worried of his line of work, but you know his loyalty lies far deeper than just for the kingdom.

Now, you giddily opened the letter from Lilia. It seems that he will be coming home tonight. To prepare for his upcoming arrival, you canceled all your plans and used all the remaining time you have to plan a great dinner and sleep for him.

For hours, the servants around the house watch as you pace back and forth, waiting for Lilia's arrival

"Lilia!"

You jumped at him as soon as he opened the door. He effortlessly caught you as always, not even surprise at this entrance. "I've missed you." You push back the scarf on his head and slide off his mask. You were greeted by by his gentle face as soon as you did. Immediately, your lips that were magnetically attracted to his skin, latch on his cheek. You gave him plenty of kisses, yet purposely missing his twitching lips.

"It's only been 4 days." His hands fell on your waist. After you stopped from showering him with affection, you buried your head on his shoulder and hugged him back.

"4 days and 4 nights without you, to be exact. I was so worried when you didn't answer my first letter."

"I can't just be at your beck and call all the the time." He sighs before continuing, "It won't happen again."

You raised your head and look away from him, pretending that you are pondering of your verdict for him. You hum, "Well since you're here now, I forgive you." He huffed when you poke his nose and patted his head. You can see his cheeks darken after doing so.

"I'm not a child," he grumbled. You laughed at his bashful demeanor. He didn't exactly say that he didn't like it, and if he did, he could've pulled your hand away. Instead, you see the fearsome phantom general of Briar Valley act this cute.

"Yes yes, you are not love. Though there is nothing wrong with me desiring to be affectionate with my husband, no?" You wrapped your arms around his neck and finally gave his lips some love too. You broke the hug between you and gently took his hand, to dragged him to the dining room. As soon as you opened the room, he sees the array of servants carrying dishes. Even if the food were covered, his heightened senses immediately knew most what it was. He pulled one of the chairs for you to sit on before taking a seat for himself.

As the dishes were laid on the table, you turned towards Lilia. You noticed that he was just staring as the dishes were being served.

"Is it not to your liking?" you asked him, worried that there is something wrong.

"It's different back in the camp," he lied.

"You should eat a lot then!"

He winced as he realized that his excuse backfired on him. Truth to be told, he had a feast back in the princess castle, because someone insisted on keeping him stuffed for the journey back to you. Though seeing your enthusiastic demeanor, he could only groan internally as he is more apprehensive of seeing you sad than his stomach bursting.

Throughout the whole dinner, you kept rambling about what happened to you while he was away. Seeing how distracted you were, he opted to hand some of his portions from his plate to yours.

---

That was one of the ways you can bond with him: eating together. Another was through self-care.

You gently pulled the hair tie out of his locks, letting it flow freely. "Now what would I find here again?" You gently separated the hair strands and found a small twig stuck in Lilia's hair. A common find.

"You didn't have to do this. I've already dealt with this after I took a bath," he sighed when you shook your head.

"Tell it to this twig then." You enjoy his long locks too much to agree his earlier proposal. "You can't see your whole head, Lilia. Just let me do my work, hm?"

You softly brush his hair, admiring how the strands transition from black to red. "Besides, you have to thank me for keeping it this beautiful."

"It's no different than before," he retorts back.

You pouted, unable to find a counterattack. It was true that he was naturally gifted with his tresses. Even before your marriage, his hair albeit a little tangle at times, was still silky smooth to the touch. You speak from experience.

"What do you even do to have something like this? Do you have some secret routine you're not telling me?"

"Water and soap washes away dirt easily."

"That is true, but I was talking about your hair."

"And?"

"Wait what?"

Now in the present, we understand why Silver uses soap as his shampoo.

[steddieas-shegoes]

you'll be in my heart always

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'you'll be in my heart'

rated g | 777 words | no cw | tags: modern au, famous corroded coffin, married steddie, steddie dads

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

"Is she watching Tarzan again?" Eddie asks when he walks in the door.

Steve looks up from the grocery list he's writing and smiles. "I think she's got a crush on Tarzan."

"Steven, please. I can't think about her having a crush on anyone. She's only seven."

Steve laughs as he wraps his arms around Eddie's waist. "How was recording today?"

Eddie sighs before kissing the side of Steve's head. "Could've been better."

Steve hums in response, asking for him to explain without having to outright ask. That's how they've worked for years, understanding each other without explanations.

"Just got into it a little with one of the mixers. She wanted me to sing lead on a song Jeff wrote. That's not how we do things," Eddie explained, pulling back to kiss Steve on the lips before pulling away completely. "It'll be fine. Jeff got to sing it."

"Daddy! Watch Tarzan with me!" Riley yelled from the living room when she noticed he was home. "My favorite song is coming!"

Steve patted his hip and returned to his grocery list. "Good luck."

"Hey, little one. Tarzan again?" Eddie asked as he sat down on the couch next to their oldest daughter. She nodded, not looking away from the screen. "What's your favorite song?"

It changed almost every time she watched it, so it was a fair question.

"The heart one." She finally looked up at Eddie, grinning.

"Which one is-" Eddie got cut off when he heard exactly what song it was. Oh god, he was gonna start crying. He always cried during this song. "Oh."

He could hear Steve giggling from the kitchen counter. Fucker.

As Kala sings to Tarzan, Riley leans against Eddie's side, singing along under her breath. She was shy when it came to singing, which shocked both Steve and Eddie. She was good, already had pitch that Eddie was jealous of.

Eddie starts singing along softly, hoping to encourage her to sing louder.

She stops singing and looks up at Eddie.

"Am I always in your heart?" She asks, nearly making Eddie's heart burst.

"Of course, little one."

"Even when you go on the bus with my uncles?" She pushes.

When she was little, her and Steve came with him on tours. She got to see the world, and be spoiled by everyone. But when she started kindergarten, and the twins were born, Eddie took a year-long break to stay home and enjoy time with his family. The rest of the guys were happy to, appreciative of their time to settle. Jeff and Frankie both got married, and Gareth moved in with his boyfriend. But then they went back on tour, and this time, Riley couldn't come with them. She had school, and taking two toddlers on tour would've been chaotic and too much to ask of Steve. So when it came time for him to tour, he had to leave them home, and Riley had to adjust.

It wasn't easy at first. She cried every night on the phone, and Eddie considered just canceling the tour. Their fans would have to understand it wasn't the right time. Maybe they could reschedule for school breaks and summer.

But Steve, the voice of reason, insisted that she would never get used to it if he didn't stick to it, but that she would get used to it. She did, but it wasn't without the occasional bad days or nights.

"Especially when I go on the bus with your uncles. I hang up your art all over the bus so everyone can see how much you mean to me." Eddie kisses the top of her head. "You're always in my heart."

They stayed snuggled up on the couch while the movie played, only getting interrupted once when Steve came in the room to hug them both goodbye.

"Twins'll be up soon from their nap. I'll be quick," Steve said as he checked his pocket for his wallet. "Just grabbing some stuff for the weekend."

"Love you." Eddie and Riley said in unison, not looking away from the movie.

"Love you both."

"Wait!" Riley suddenly jumped up, running to Steve and hugging his waist. "I'm in your heart, too, right?"

"Of course, baby. Always." Steve leaned down to hug her again before she ran back to the couch and into Eddie's lap.

When Steve came back, the movie had finished, but Eddie was dancing with all three kids to Strangers Like Me, shouting more than singing along. He set the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and joined them, laughing as Riley once again requested You'll Be In My Heart.

[jaysgirlx]

Hey! First things first, I absolutely adore your writing. I though about something for Jason. Well, that request only makes sense if you've read Batam: Wayne Family Adventures on Webtoon (if you haven't, read it! It's awesome). In chapter 5, the Batboys have a push-up competition during the day and by dinnertime everyone is almost dead from tiredness and pain in their arms, they can't even eat, I thought of the reader feeding Jason while the others laugh or beg for it help too.

awww thank you for the compliment and I have read the Batfam comic!

❥ pairing: jason todd x batfam f!reader au

❥ warnings: just jason begging for help and attention (we need more of these)

❥ wc: 474

"Sweetheart pleaseeee"

"Jason Peter Todd, you are a grown man, figure it out"

"C'mon just feed me, it won't kill ya"

"Would you like for me to kill you?"

"No ma'am?" He said looking back at his dinner ate full of food. You then looked over at the rest of the brothers struggling to even move their arms and sighed. You looked around the room, reminding yourself how ridiculous all of this was. Then looked at who was shoving his face at his food like a toddler.

"Fine, I'll feed you"

The room went silent quickly and all eyes fell on you for a brief moment. Tim dropped the spoon that he had been holding up with his food and Dick looked like he was about to burst into laughter.

I'll never live this down, will I?

"Awww you're the best-" before Jason could finish you shoved a spoonful of his food into his mouth and repeated that act. By now everyone at the table was laughing and not necessarily at you but at Jason who seemed to almost be choking on his food.

"Wait, wait-"

"You wanted to be fed so I'm feeding you Jay,

"But-" another spoonful of rice.

"Now stop talking while your mouth is full!"

No matter how annoying this man was, you loved him endlessly.

-

After quite an eventful dinner, you were now lying in Jason's arms though it was just less than an hour ago that you had been shoving food down his through like a mad woman.

"m'sorry baby for annoying you," Jason said holding you close to his chest. He stroked your back, gently massaging some rigid or tense areas. He loved playing around with you but never when it upsets you. "I didn't mean to make you mad"

You giggle and cup his face into your hands, "It's okay Jaybird, plus it was fun shoving all that food down your mouth" you say, pinching his cheeks softly, which were now probably sore from all the food you had shoved in his mouth. C'mon you know he deserved it, even though you could've been a bit nicer.

You could never truly be mad with Jsson even when he did things that annoyed you all day. The feelings you had for him cancelled out any other feeling you got. You hadn't even been mad when he enacted that stupid contest with his brothers. You knew it was ridiculous but you liked that about him, you liked that Jason still loved to have fun and be competitive. It gave you a reason not to worry about him, not that you really had to.

The way the two of you just lay there in each other's arms always made you feel warm and fuzzy, there was no way for you to be mad at him at this point. You just wanted to enjoy the time you got to spend with Jason even if he was annoying for the majority of it.

"It was fun for your babe, not me for me"

"Then next time feed yourself!"

"Whatever say, pretty girl"

"Jason-"

"You still like me right?" Jason asked half seriously, half joking. He hoped that he hadn't upset you but he couldn't tell, he was really bad when it came to reading you. "Cause I get it if you really are angry" he said quietly.

You sigh with a soft smile painting your lips, "I could never be mad at you Jay"

[pinkynana]

gamer boys are the easiest target for you. they barely interact with any other woman so the moment you find out haechan was a gamer boy, you promised to sit on his lap any time he wanted to. 

warnings : cock sucking, boob job, fingering, finger sucking, pussy slapping (like, once)

taglist : @matchahyuck @jiminsfiilter @jaemjunie @babyjenono @woniebuns @thegracerammy @jyowui (couldn't tag the last two)

note: as the starter of this series, i would like to tell you guys that reader doesn't actually have sex with most of the boys except one. because the point is that she uses these men for their attention and doesn't want anything else from them. if you dont like that you can just stop reading from here. please do not complain to me after this. enjoy reading if you stay!

all the seats were taken at the diner when you entered it. even the high stools were all full. some couples, some friends, some families and of course there were people who sat alone. seems like you had to flirt with that guy over there sitting at one of the booth so you could sit with him. 

you pasted on a sweet smile, rolled your skirt up to make it shorter and approached the guy that had his headphones on, focusing on his phone. you knocked on his table to make him look at you. he pushed the left side of his headphone to hear you saying "can i sit here with you?" 

"oh, sure." the guy pulled his plate towards him so you could have more space on your side of the table. you took the seat across him. as you landed your ass on your seat, his focus went back to his phone. 

it annoyed you. 

so you tap on one of his hands lightly. he gave you the same look he did a minute ago when you asked to sit with him. 

"what are you doing?" you asked curiously. "watching a stream." he answered. 

"twitch?" he nodded. "i wanna see." you got up and sat next to him. your face was literally next to his, your cheek touching his headphones. you have no idea who the streamer was but you watched anyway so the guy would be bothered by your presence. 

"ooh, can i have an egg salad, fries and a banana milkshake please? thank you!" you called out to the waitress walking past you. you actually wanted to eat a burger but that plan was canceled. there's no way you'd let this hot man witness how sloppy you eat. 

"i can't hear him." you whined. no shit, sherlock. he had his headphones on. 

he didn't say anything but he did turn his headphones off, placed his phone against the salt and pepper shakers so you two could watch the stream together. he thought you'd sit away from him, now that you didn't have to lean against his headphones to listen to something. but you stayed close to him. you were practically hugging his arm there. this stranger you met not even ten minutes ago. 

"you're a gamer?" you asked him. 

"yeah." 

probably why he's not pushing you away. when else could he have the chance of getting a pretty girl like you to stick on him like glue? 

"really? that's so hot. i always wanted to sit on the lap of a gamer guy while he plays his game." you realized how stupid you sound at the moment. you've done that plenty of times. this guy isn't the first. but still, it's your favorite thing because you could feel the guy getting hard underneath you. 

"what's your name, by the way? i'm ___." you finally introduced yourself. 

"i'm hyuck. donghyuck. i like your stars."  he was referring to your hair clips that were star shaped. his compliment made you shriek in excitement. you knew men liked those sounds. 

"thank you!" you gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

 "my food's here!" you did some tiny claps with your fingers, looking at the food you ordered. 

"can i uh.. can i get your number, ___?" he suddenly said, scratching his neck awkwardly.

he fell right inside your trap. 

"of course!" you took out your lipstick and started writing digits on his arm. 

donghyuck was confused as to why you did that. you could've just typed it in his phone. 

-

"people actually still do that?" donghyuck's best friend, mark looked at him weird. and then donghyuck smirked. "i'm telling you. this is legit, bro. i had red numbers on my arm." 

"she's like so hot but she still has a little side of cute in her too." donghyuck described you. and just at that moment, he received a call from you. he displayed your name to mark, shaking the phone in front of his face. "she's into me." 

she's really not. 

"hello?" 

"hyuck!" you whined. "i'm so lonely. what are you doing? can i come over?" he couldn't see you but you still made a cute little face. 

"of course you can, baby. come here. i'm just about to start my gaming session." 

you giggled. "you called me baby." 

"and does baby like it?" 

"she likes it." 

"then hurry here. i'll let you sit on me if you come fast enough." he convinced you as if you wouldn't have some sly tricks down your sleeves to make him let you sit on him while he plays. 

not more than 20 minutes later, you arrived at donghyuck's shared apartment with mark. you still haven't met this mark yet and he wasn't there when you came. if you saw him, you'd probably try getting his attention too. 

"hyuckie!" you spread your arms up high, asking for a hug from this gamer boy you've met for only three times, fourth if you count the lunch time at the diner. 

he immediately gave you the hug and you snuggled against his chest. "i can feel your heartbeat." you said. he kissed the top of your head, catching the scent of your citrus shampoo. 

"what does my heartbeat tell you?" he rested his chin on your head. "it's telling me that you like having me here." he laughed at your answer, pulling out of the hug and guiding you to his gaming set. 

"i'm streaming today." he sat on his gaming chair, patting his thigh to invite you to sit on him. usually you'd sit facing the pc to see the game and how it's played. but today you felt too lazy to pretend to care about that. you sat facing him, hiding your face on his neck as you gave it lazy kisses. 

"hi guys." he started speaking to his viewers. you hoped that some guys you messed with some time in the past would see this and recognize you and feel jealous of hyuck for being the man that got you now. 

"is she your girlfriend?" he read a comment. 

"are you?" he looked at you and you just winked, making him laugh. he left the viewer's question unanswered. 

"flip her skirt." he read another comment which made you perk up. "guys, my channel isn't 18+. i'm not gonna make her flash you." you smiled, snuggling closer to him. you wouldn't mind it if he made you flash his viewers without even asking you.

soon enough, you got bored with just sitting on his lap and not doing anything. he isn't even getting hard underneath you, not to mention his attention that's fully towards his game. why were you even there? 

you pushed his headphones away a little so he could hear your whisper. "hyuck, let's make out." he didn't say anything, focus still on his game as his fingers clicked on his keyboard. 

so you started grinding on his lap, not caring about his viewers anymore. he turned off his microphone before talking to you. 

"baby, let me finish this round first then we can make out." you shook your head and whined. "i want you to kiss me now." you pout your lips. "baby, i-" 

you shut him up with your lips, finally getting what you wanted from him. you licked up his mouth, exploring it. your hands behind his neck so he can't pull away. 

you hear a faint sound from his headphones that indicated that he lost the game. 

but he pushed your arms and pulled away anyway. you had a feeling that he's mad at you. gamer boys' rage can be dramatic but if he got mad at you or yelled at you, you'd leave him that very moment. you hate men who yell at women. their attention wouldn't matter anymore at that point. 

"get on the bed." he said. and you smiled in victory, seeing him ending his live. you giggled when you landed your ass on his bed, can't wait for him to get on the bed too. 

you stuck your tongue out at him so he could immediately suck on it. "naughty girl." he chuckled. you didn't care about anything else when he finally landed his lips on yours, taking away each other's breath. you could feel him getting hard as it kept hitting your thighs. 

gamers are so easy.

"hyuck, wanna suck you off." you said when he pulled away to catch his breath. "what?" he thought he misheard it. 

"let me suck you off. i know you're hard and it's because of me. so let me help you." your fingers played with the strings of his sweatpants, waiting for his agreement. 

"fuck, yeah. go ahead, baby. take my dick out and suck it. on your knees now." he told and you find it hilarious how he's trying to dom you when you've got the upper hand from day one. but you followed his instructions anyway, getting down from the bed to get on your knees. you pulled his sweatpants and his underwear down, revealing his hard and throbbing cock. 

the thought that you caused this made you dizzy. you feel powerful. hyuck has no idea. he sat down on his bed, having your face in between his legs.

you started jerking it off while looking at him with round eyes. you even leaned your face on his thigh, moving your hand on his dick lazily. looking so innocent while doing something so unholy. you opened your mouth and let his cock rest on your tongue without actually sucking it. "baby, none of that please. just suck my cock like a good girl." he groaned and you giggled. 

deciding to be nice, you closed your mouth around his cock as you moved forward so your nose hits his tummy. you let your tongue out so it could reach for his balls underneath. then, you moved back and then forward again. you loved the sounds that he's making. you loved the feeling of his dick twitching in your mouth. and you know you will love the way he pours his cum into you. 

"you're so good at this." his eyes were closed and his head was thrown back. you suddenly had an idea of how to make this more pleasurable. 

you took off your shirt, leaving your bra on so your breasts were perked together. you started rubbing his cock with your boobs while you kissed the tip that's peaking out. "fuck, you're so sexy looking like that." he started caressing your hair, praising you. the way he moaned louder and louder convinced you that he was close. 

"wanna cum on your pretty face." even if you had different ideas, you're still fine with making his wish come true. so you moved your breasts on him faster as you started sucking on his tip. 

"gonna cum. gonna cum. gonna cum. fuck, baby. fuck. paint your face with my cum. close your eyes" 

and he did just that. his juice landed everywhere on your face. you're glad he reminded you to close your eyes. you could feel it dripping from your eyelashes to your cheeks. he moaned at the sight, loving his masterpiece. 

"you can take a picture, hyuck." 

"shit. stay still, okay?" he left the bed to look for his phone. 

"open your mouth and stick your tongue out, please." he started taking your pictures. once he's done, he swipes his cum away from your eyes. 

"you wanna continue?" he asked but you immediately stood up. "actually i have plans with my girl friends tonight. you can help me clean my face though." 

you washed your face in his bathroom and he helped you redo your makeup since he's the one who ruined it. you sat on his sink, facing him.  you had him standing in between your legs. "just stroke it up." you guided him to apply mascara on you. "what if i poke your eye?" he worried but you took his hand and showed him how it's done. 

"you can take it slow. i'm in no rush." you ensured him. 

"maybe you should just bail." he pulled the mascara wand away from your face. "awwh, but i haven't met my girls in so long." as if you actually cared about meeting them. convinced enough, hyuck continues to help you apply your make up. 

seeing him this close, with such a focused face made you count his moles and admired how beautiful he actually is. once he was done with your mascara, you pulled him into a kiss, softer than your make out session from before. then you started giving kisses on his moles. 

when you pulled away, hyuck had his fingers on your chin. "want me to eat you out, baby?" you bit your lip at his invitation. it was tempting, of course. but you want to keep kissing him too. 

you thought of a solution. "maybe fuck me with your fingers? i really like kissing you." you gave his lip a little lick. he chuckled at your suggestion. "and you said you didn't want to continue after swallowing my cum." 

he started kissing you again, this time with his fingers teasing your core. "hyuckie, want your fingers in me. don't you want to make me cum on your fingers?" you turned impatient. 

"of course, baby. want you to make a mess just from my fingers." you loved the fact that he kept kissing you after you told him that you liked it. your makeup was ruined again at this point but you didn't care. kissing hyuck felt so addicting to you. he looked so pretty like this. 

you feel his fingers pushing your panties aside to put it in. you smiled on his mouth. you thought you'd be cumming on your own tonight. you were thankful for making a last minute decision of letting him finger you like this. 

he started pumping them in and out if you. "messy baby." he's probably talking about how wet you were and the squelching sounds from both your lips. 

"nggh, hyuck. wanna cum." you bit his shoulder and started moving your hips on his fingers, desperate to chase your high. 

"fuck, you look so sexy." he fucked his fingers into you faster than before, wanting to see how messy you'd get once he makes you cum for him. "cum, baby. you're doing so well." his lips came back to yours so he'd have you moaning on his mouth. 

you started babbling nonsense when you let go and came on him. "fuck, baby. so fucking sexy for me." he slapped your cunt once before bringing his fingers to his mouth, tasting your juices. 

"you taste so good. i should really eat you out next time." 

next time, huh? as if. 

"we have to do my makeup again." you said. "i'm sorry, baby. i'll help you." 

you left his apartment after you're sure that you look presentable. but most of all, you left while being sure that all the next times donghyuck jerks off, he'll think of you. he'll use the picture he took and wish you were there to suck him off again. wished he could at least fucked you. but you won't. 

this is enough. you made him hard, made him cum, made sure that he thinks of you next time. he'll probably even compare other girls to you. 

you won in the game he didn't know he was playing. so who's the gamer now?

[kaciidubs]

NO BC BABY IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND PROFESSOR CHANGBIN FUCKING YOU RIGHT QUICK BEFORE CLASS STARTS JUST BENDING YOU OVER THE NEAREST DESK HOLY FUCK IM NOT FINE

Rip estee

HOLY FUCK- OH MY GOD- OH- OHHH-- ESTEE- DARLING- FUCK- FUCKING HELL-

❣ Warnings: College Professor! Changbin [mentioned to be a little older than reader], slight public sex, oral [Fem receiving], unprotected sex implied, Dom! Changbin, slightly bratty Reader, praise, slight spit play ❣ ❣ Word Count: 468 ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/n] You/Your pronouns ❣ ❣ Additional Tags: Changbin is referred to as Sir, Reader is referred to as bunny, good student, and slut

Two hours before class started.

Two hours before the large room would be filled with your fellow classmates, your friends who always made fun of you for your crush on Professor Seo - the one professor who wasn't even that much older than your entire class.

Oh, if they only knew.

If they could see the way he had you now, bent over the large desk at the front of the class, your skirt hastily flipped over your ass and your panties in a pool around your right ankle as he knelt behind you, ravishing your wet cunt as if it were his first meal of the day.

"S-Sir! Fuck-" His hands gripped your ass cheeks like they were stress balls, keeping you spread for his mouth to lap messily at your clit. "Please! I need- need your cock, please!"

Backing away from you with an unceremonious slurp, you felt his presence disappear from between your legs and you almost had half the mind to beg him to finish you off.

"I had an hour of my office hours booked for you, bunny - I've been dying for a taste of this sweet pussy but someone had to cancel." He scoffed, thumbs massaging your lower back as he observed your laid out form.

"I-I had a test, you knew this!" You hated the whine in your voice, but he had you bent over his desk the minute you snuck into the room, giving you nothing but his tongue, lips, and fingers without letting you even taste your orgasm.

Humming in understanding, he lifted his hands off of you to undo the belt around his hips, wasting no time in shoving his slacks down and tugging his boxer briefs low enough to pull his cock out, heavy and hot in his hand. "I know, you're such a good student, you know that?"

An annoyed groan vibrated in your throat, "I'd rather be a really good slut right about now, Changbin." Adding more incitement to your statement, you wiggled your hips, feeling your ass jiggle and hearing the deprived groan from the man behind you. "Come on, show me what I could've had during those office hours of yours."

Within an instant, his hands reclaimed their home on your ass, spreading them so he could notch the fat head of his cock at your fluttering hole. Slightly hunching over, a fat glob of spit fell from his lips and landed where your bodies were currently meeting, a chill running down your spine from the sensation.

"You wanna be my good slut? Alright." Pressing your lower half against the edge of the desk, he pushed his hips forward, forcing his tip past your tight walls and stretching your poor, needy cunt over his chubby cock. "From now on, it's Sir, slut."

[literarybard]

Cassiopeia Collab

I've finally found the time to post this little drabble from a bit ago. My hope is to eventually share more, but hopefully this can find its way to some NSR fans!

The excerpt is just a scene from the concept of DJSS and 1010 finally collaborating on a song.

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There was no question that the current array of people in the room was an unorthodox combination. At the very least, someone would've thought that a few months ago, yet now the only thing spinning in the room is the repeated pausing and playing of an out-of-this-world beat. 

"Right so! How's about something here with the line ending in? Aberration?" There came the tone and head tilt that easily cued Rin's next words. "No offense, but what does that even mean?" 

On the other hand, the opposing figure of the DJ found herself breathing in; the tenseness of having to explain words that seemed so simple was getting to them, and yet when it came to this one. To say she physically felt the thought poof out of existence was an understatement; whatever cog needed to turn had finally checked out, and he could only exhale in what seemed like a simple annoyance.

"Why do you even care about what all these things mean?" There were tons of reasons as to why Rin and the rest should care, but their actual work time was shrinking with each instance. 

It was Haym who spoke up this time: "Sir made it very known that we should be careful as to—" the sentence seemed to seamlessly pass onto Eloni now, "avoid forum—" the final pair of words, now sung by four members with a melody that, despite being perfect, felt foreboding. "cancel culture!"

Well, okay.

"Let's just change—" He'd only gotten a mere three words out before a sudden counter made its way into the air. "What!? Just tell me, you've done it with every other word!" 

They stifled a reaction, instead turning away in her seat before continuing, "It is not entirely my problem that your knowledge is so... finite." Another moment passed past that sentence before an almost brooding white robot spoke again. "Are you calling me stupid?" 

"...just ignorant." It was upon the administration of the last word that she jumped, a chorus of gasps now coming from both Rin and every other member of 1010. Her gaze locked onto the only other person in the room without distinct eyes, but one who instead held a distinct smile on his face.

It was obvious Purl-Hew knew what the word meant and felt self-assured by that, and he knew that Supernova knew. An unspoken conversation between them was all that was needed to affirm that, and yet that didn't mean the blue robot wouldn't still join in with his brothers antics. The grin now plastered on his face pushed that idea further.

It was Rin who broke the chorus with a scoff and a snap. "Oh yea? Well-" He turned to his fellow 1010 members, flipping his hair, before turning back to DJ Subatomic and sliding away. Whatever that was appeared to be a cue that led the five to line up before them, posing oddly familiarly just as she once had before speaking into song, a line that chased her down.

"Don't you know who we are?" A previously suppressed grumble finally escaped them as they slunk further into her seat. A moment later that'd be ammended, with 1010 shifting towards their patented salute while he could've sworn his posture realigned into another reality along with the yelp that came when a hand settled on her shoulder.

"Busy at work, I see. Tell me, is the collab faring well, Nova?" Neon J's voice rang out along with the slight cybernetic undertone of a man trying not to chuckle at the scene before him. A silent stare linked the two of them for a few moments before her voice hushed, "Yeah. Some boys you have here, J."

[anthemofgvf]

White Roses: Josh Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction

description: when invited to join josh on tour, you were elated with the idea and accepted almost immediately. although you had always pushed your feelings aside of wanting something more with your best friend, this trip had you believe there was a deeper, underlying reason that you were brought along.

word count: 8.5k+

trope: friends to lovers

taglist for future fics

warnings below cut…

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warnings: fluff, lots of angst, good amount of plot, smut, voyeurism, fingering, unprotected sex, swearing, usage of alcohol

a/n: just a tiny reminder that this takes place during DIG, and in an instance in which none of the shows got cancelled! that's all:)

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Sitting on the tour bus as it drove bumpily along the highway road, you had caught yourself examining the interior of the bus while the boys chatted about nonsense, and wondered how you were even able to get yourself in this position.

You had known Josh since high school, where you two met in drama club and performed a few shows together. You always had high hopes for him, whether it was with him pursing film, or taking the route of performing as the lead singer of Jake's band.

Watching him grow into his own person was entrancing to you. You always had underlying feelings for him that you buried in the back of your mind, as you always had the assumption that he would never reciprocate such feelings. Ever since you had known him, his charisma charmed you, and you found yourself hooked onto him like a fish on a line.

Seeing him truly become his own individual person was remarkable. He had newfound confidence, dazzling the stage and turning on a new persona that was utterly flamboyant. Yet, you always knew of him to be the dorky kid that could light up a room with only a smile.

Frankly, no one was Josh, not even his twin brother. No one compared to him, and that’s why after all these years you still had feelings for him. After finding yourself in love with your best friend, and not being able to see him as much as you used to, you reminded yourself of things about his face and vernacular that you never wanted erased from your brain. Like the light dimple on his face when he smiled, to the way he used big words that you never quite understood (he was known for being utterly intelligent). How his perfectly sculpted nose crinkled up when he laughed. The gravel in his voice, the way his eyes looked at you tentatively when you spoke. There was so much more you liked to think about pertaining to Josh, but there were no amount of words in the English language to allow you to express such gratitude for him and his presence.

Watching him pack up his things for Nashville and leaving you behind in Michigan was much more detrimental than you could've imagined. You had hoped your feelings for him would subdue overtime, but to no avail. But you know what they say, "distance makes the heart grow fonder".

While you were happy that he was able to travel the world and pursue his dream through music, you longed for his presence again. He would often visit to see his family and some other long-distance friends, but he ended up devoting most of his time to you. You had the usual routine of sitting on top of the hood of his car outside and admire the view of the stars above you in the summertime, but when it was winter, you two would glance up at the night sky from the comfort of your skylight in your home.

When he was back in town right before their “Dreams In Gold” tour was about to begin, lying down next to you on the floor as your guys' eyes were caught in the skylight window, he had asked you to join him on tour for their US leg.

"Are, are you sure, Josh?" You asked him, turning your cheek into the cool floor of your living room. You were lying flat on your back next to Josh when he posed the question.

"Of course, I'm sure. I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't 100% certain." He said to you with a smile. "The guys wouldn't mind it a bit, and it's a free vacation for you as well." His eyes walked back up to the stars that danced above him.

"How much do I have left to give you an answer?" You asked.

"As soon as possible." He shrugged as he kept his eyes on the night sky. "But I hope you'd say yes immediately."

"You're quite persuasive, I must say," you huffed a laugh, which he matched, "but don't get your hopes up. I still have to run it by work." You extended your finger to him.

And as soon as you were able to get the time off of work needed, you packed your bags, and set off on the road with them a bit after their shows in Michigan, which you attended.

Now, here you were, sat in the makeshift living room with the band inside of the tour bus after their previous show, on your way with the band to Omaha, Nebraska. You had been on the road with them for quite a bit of time, following their strict routine every single day. It was a bit hectic at first, but you eventually got into the habit of it all.

You had your fair share of drinks with the guys, chatting about various topics and different things that occurred at the show. They had different conversations about their own performances, along with some things they noticed on stage. You sat there mute, admiring the white roses Josh gave to you after every show, which sat in a small, clear vase in the middle of the table.

"Think you might need a reminder of the words to 'Safari Song', Josh." Jake poked at his brother.

"I can get it perfect during soundcheck, but of course, the words just slip my mind when performing. It's fucking annoying." He threw his hand up, setting it down on the table and drawing circles on the material with his fingers.

You turned your attention to Josh after his voice brought you back into the conversation. "I think you just need to articulate your words a bit more." You said to him.

"Are you saying that you can't understand what I say when I'm singing?" He looked to you with joking frustration.

"Just like most of our fan base." Sam snorted a laugh, which had Danny covering his mouth to hide his amusement.

"You guys are lucky I'm self-aware, or else I would be extremely hurt by the criticism." Josh pointed at each of the boys, and then let his eyes rest on you.

"I'm just surprised you're not sweating more in those jumpsuits with all of that pyro." You said to him.

"That's why I have detachable sleeves, my dear." He winked at you as he bumped his elbow into your arm.

"I'm surprised my hair hasn't caught on fire yet. Sometimes that shit seems a bit closer than you think." Danny said with a toss of his hair. He took another sip of his beer, looking towards Sam.

"Let's just hope there aren't any pyro accidents in the near future, or those luscious locks will be stripped from you." Sam chimed in, tugging on Danny's mane and eliciting a laugh from him.

The conversation grew into other sorts of different topics other than their performances, such as the new places they were bound to perform at, and even setting a few bets of what they predict the next shows would be like. You had thrown in a few laughs at different jokes, nodding along to the conversations, but your mind was somewhere else. Your mind was on the mere heat produced by Josh's body, which you could just barely feel with him sitting next to you.

The side of Josh's thigh, clothed by a pair of brown joggers was pressed against your own, with his hand just inches from your fingertips. He wasn’t out of reach, but you felt like he was. You had missed the proximity between the two of you, but sometimes, it had become a bit unbearable. Your lingering feelings had yet to float away from your mind, and although you had desperately tried to remind yourself that there was no way that a relationship with him was realistic, you held onto the hope of possibility.

With a loud, abrupt noise onto the table of Sam slamming his hand onto it to announce his departure off to his bunk, Danny followed closely behind to get some rest for the night.

"Has sleeping on the couch been comfortable for you?" Jake asked you, as the bus grew quieter while Sam and Danny settled in for the night.

"It's not too bad," you started, "it's actually more comfortable than you'd think. You should try it out sometime." You jokingly offered.

"Think I'll stick with my bed, thank you very much." He gave you a light smile.

"You know you can always join me, right?" Josh said to you in a whisper, yet loud enough for Jake to hear. "I don't mind at all, really." His eyes held your own in such a captivating way, with the light dimly showcasing the different hues of brown in his eyes.

"I don't want to be a bother. Besides, the couch does the trick." You gave him a small smile.

You had slept next to Josh on a multitude of occasions, but never curled up next to him in a bed. It was always falling asleep on one's shoulder after a late-night movie, with his arm draped over the back of the couch, and his hand finding its way into the back of your head to tussle your hair.

"Well, I think it's time for me to head to bed then. Got to get my beauty rest in." Josh said, squeezing you into the side of his body, then watching as Jake stood to allow him to get off from the couch and go into the quarters where the bunks resided.

Jake scooted in next to you, with his eyes wandering off to where Josh left, then looking to you with a light smile.

"You really did enjoy the show?" He asked you in a whisper.

"Yes, I always do. You guys are always amazing up there." You gave him a smile.

He matched your smile, nodding at you and looking over his shoulder before turning back to you.

You and Jake grew a good friendship, that was reminiscent to a brotherly love. Since you were often with his twin, you were bound to grow a relationship with him, and you never minded it. He was someone you considered, other than Josh, to be a close friend.

"Liking the tour so far? Not too hectic for you?" He said to you with his hands folded onto the table.

"It was a bit crazy at first, but I think I'm getting into the swing of things. Don't know how you guys keep up with this kind of shit, anyways." You giggled.

"I think we're just kind of used to it, now," he shrugged, "but it's nice to have company along the road. Thanks for coming with us, by the way." He elbowed you.

"I was a bit worried I would get in the way of things when Josh asked me to join, but-."

"I promise you you're not in the way at all," he cut you off quickly in reassurance, "it's nice to have you around - we all feel that way."

You gave him a light smile in appreciation, finding yourself fiddling with your thumbs and keeping your eyes locked on the movements.

"What are you thinking about?" He bumped his elbow into you, scooting closer to you and waiting for your eyes to flick to his.

"Deciding whether I'm tired or not." You said, which was an obvious lie. Jake could read you easily, and you knew that. But you had hopes that he wouldn't be able to decipher your false truth.

Your expectation of him not to push you further was shut down when he lightly scoffed. "Thinking about Josh, huh?"

Jake was well aware of your crush for his twin. You had accidentally told him after one too many drinks a few years ago when you were at a party in their childhood home, when you sat outside with Jake as Josh left to grab more drinks for the three of you. You were grateful Jake had yet to say anything to his brother.

"How'd you guess?" You sighed, finally choosing to look at him with a tired expression.

He lightly chuckled at your faux annoyance. "Why haven't you said anything to him yet?"

"Why do you think?" You scoffed at him. "We've always just been friends, Jake. He's too busy for a fucking relationship anyways, and I'd prefer to choose safety than an awkward rejection."

"I guess I'm a bystander in all of this, but you don't really realize the way someone looks at you when it's directed, well, at you." He began. "The whole 'just friends' thing is bullshit, in my opinion. I've always kind of thought things would work out with you two in the end." He gave you a light shrug.

"He's never hinted at anything more with me. I mean, God, I remember when we spent one last night together before you guys moved to Nashville. If something was supposed to happen between us, it would've happened then."

"What happened that night anyways? You guys kind of disappeared from the party, and Josh never really went into depth of what happened."

"Well," you flattened your hands on the table as you drummed the surface, "I told him that it was getting late and that it was best if I should head home, as I didn't see a point in me staying over at your guys' home because it would hurt more to watch you guys leave. But I guess knowing was much harder to accept then actually seeing it."

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"Wait, you're leaving?" Josh said, grabbing your arm as you grabbed onto your purse.

"It's late, and I should let you guys get your sleep because I know you have an early flight." You said with a light frown.

Josh's eyes fell, with his lips turning into a pout and glancing around the room at the slowly dying party.

"Can you stay for a few more minutes, with me?" He asked quietly, visibly showing how hurt he was by your departure. "Please?"

You looked at the clock, noticing it was nearing midnight. You didn't want to leave him like this, preferring a private goodbye with him instead of this being the final moment that you'd see him before he made his journey.

"Okay." You said with a nod, a light sigh lingering out of your mouth.

He gave you a wide smile, tugging on your arm and having you drag your feet quickly along with his quick movements out the front door.

"Josh-."

"Sit on the hood of my car." He motioned to his Jeep, watching as you stood idle. "Go on. That way, when you're ready to leave, you're already right next to your car."

Your car was parked outside of their home on the street, begging to stay there for as long as possible and never let Josh out of your sight.

You thought the sentiment was nice, so you hopped on top of it, and allowed him to sit himself next to you. You set your purse next to you and watched as he joined you on your other side. He immediately wrapped his arm around your back, tugging you into him and allowing your faces to be mere inches apart.

"I'm going to miss this, you know," he looked to you, "well, I'm going to miss doing all of this shit with you."

You nodded, feeling a knot tightening in your throat and finding words harder to utter than before.

"Why don't you just move to Nash with us and make this a bit easier on me?" He chuckled. You forced a light laugh out, masking your breaking heart that was crumbling to pieces as you spent your last moments with him.

"You know I can't do that," you looked to him, "as much as I'd like to, you guys have to do this on your own. You can't just have me around forever. I'll be fine here, I promise. As long as you come to visit every once in a while."

"It's not like we won't talk all the time either," he smiled at you, "I mean, we do it enough as is. I don’t plan on just leaving Michigan behind forever. I’ll come see you as much as I can, I promise."

Your cheeks began to burn, with your vision beginning to blur as tears formed in the waterline of your eyes. You didn't want Josh to see you cry, although he had plenty of times, but this was the one time in which it was because of him. You were upset because he was leaving you behind, by choice, although you knew it was the best for him. You wanted to tell him that you loved him, tell him that he can’t leave without knowing how you felt. But that would only make things worse on the both of you, and it didn’t feel right to speak up about your feelings for him now.

"Hey, hey," he brought his hand to your cheek, "don't cry. That's going to make me cry." He forced a laugh, but his lips faltered into a pout.

Your lips trembled as you tried to swallow your tears down and force a smile, to try and stay strong for your best friend. But you couldn't find it in yourself to do it.

"Fuck, Josh," you laughed, your voice whaling out into a whine, "I'm going to miss you like crazy."

Josh swiped a fallen tear off of your cheek with his thumb, giving you a nod as his face grew into a sympathetic look.

"This is just as hard for me as it is for you - trust me," he said gently, "but I'm going to miss you a lot, too. I meant it when I said I’d come back and see you when I can and talk to you every day. This isn't goodbye forever, y/n. This is a 'see you later', okay?"

You nodded at him, burrowing your face into his shoulder and allowing yourself to cry. To release all of your broken emotions onto him as he held you in his arms. You didn't care that this would be how he left you, because frankly, you couldn't fight it back. You began to hiccup into the sleeve of his shirt, and while he tried to console you by rubbing your back and humming a low tune, it only made your heart ache more. You didn't know when you'd see him again, or better yet, how long you'd have to wait for that time to arise.

"I can assure you that I won't forget about you." He pressed his chin into the top of your head.

That had you laughing through your tears. "I know that."

"Just wanted to make sure," he said with a smile, which you heard in his voice, "and maybe when we're settled into our homes in Nashville, you can fly down to see us. All of us enjoy your company."

You sniffled, running the back of your hand under your nose and lifting your head from his shoulder and trying to remember every detail in his face that your brain would allow you to obtain. Because through a Facetime call, you wouldn't be able to see every minute detail of his face. The curve of his jawline and nose, to the light freckles that lined his nose just barely when it became summertime.

"I'd love that." You gave him a light smile, continuing to try and push through your grief.

"It kills me to see you cry," he said, placing his hand on your face to allow any falling tears to soak into his skin, "it's taking everything in me not to cry. But it helps to know that this won't be the last time I see you. You have to remember that, too, okay?" He said with a light jerk of your face.

Your eyes glanced at his plush lips, noticing they rested parted as he finished talking to you. You met his eyes, noticing a light glisten in them of faint tears beginning to form. You had never seen him cry, and you definitely did not want to see it now; not with the state you were currently in.

"Yeah, we'll see each other again." You nodded, placing your hand around his wrist and forcing a smile onto your face, although your cheeks battled the expression.

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"Jeez," Jake hissed, "that must've been really hard to go through."

"Believe me, it was." You shook your head at him. "I think I cried myself to sleep for a week or two. Just kind of felt...empty, without him. Is that bad?"

Jake placed his hand on top of your fiddling ones, to stop your motions and keep your attention onto him.

"Not at all, y/n. I mean, it's hard watching someone you care about move away, and having unresolved feelings behind it, too. But, if I were you, I wouldn't waste another moment telling him how you felt." He said to you.

You nodded at him, noticing he had kept his hand on top of yours and seeing that his eyes rested upon you.

"Wait, you mean now?" You whispered harshly with wide eyes.

"Why wait? It’s been long enough, anyways. I'm sure he's just getting settled into bed. The other guys are most likely dead asleep, and I know for a fact as soon as I hit my bed, I'll be out like a light." He said with a huffed laugh, which you matched. "You'll get some privacy, don't worry."

He removed his hand from on top of yours, picking up the scattered beer cans and bottles and discarding them. He looked to you, waiting for you to stand, and follow through with his advice.

You stood with shaky hands, sweat accumulating on your palms and wiping them onto your grey shorts.

"You'll be okay, I promise." He placed his hand on your shoulder and allowing his hand to drop at his side.

"Thank you for talking with me about this, Jake." You gave him a small, tight-lipped smile, and brought him into a short embrace. He squeezed you into his body, then watched as you made your way to the bunks.

You knew Josh's was the one on the bottom right, with Jake's on top of his. Your hands trembled as you grabbed at the curtain, your blood pumping fear throughout your body from the anticipation of the situation. You tugged at your bottom lip and just barely parted the curtain, whispering Josh's name and waiting for a response. When he didn't stir, you finally opened it fully, to see his bare back turned to you. The sounds of the rings that held the white fabric onto the rod had you cower away from the noise, but you kept your eyes locked on the slow rise and fall of Josh's shoulders that signified his slumber.

You began to tug the curtain close, but something deep down told you that you shouldn't put this off any longer. That you should follow through with this and put your anxious feelings aside of confronting him about your feelings.

"Josh?" You whispered out again.

This time, he let out a quiet groan, turning his body over and facing you with squinted eyes. The bus was almost pitch-black, with dim lights illuminating the floor for safety purposes.

"Y/n? Everything okay?" He asked you with a groggy voice.

"I can't sleep," you lied, "mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." He said with a smile, opening the blanket up for you as an invitation. He appeared to be in his briefs, and although you had seen him in his underwear before, something about the sight in this moment had you growing a lump in your throat.

You crawled in next to him under the sheets, and although it was a bit cramped, you didn't mind it at all. You liked that you were forced to be pressed up against Josh, despite it not helping your nervousness about the situation.

You started with lying flat on your back, but Josh tucked his arm under your body, and turned you to face him with his head resting just above your own.

"So, the couch isn't as comfortable as you made it out to be, huh?" He whispered to you with a coy grin.

"Maybe I twisted the truth a bit, but I'm usually fine sleeping on it." You said back to him.

He hummed in response. "Well, I don't mind this new arrangement."

While he had one hand tucked under your side and placed on the middle of your back, the other rested at your waist. Your heart was nearly leaping out of your chest with its rapid pace, and you began to form different sentences in your head to try and keep the conversation going and lead it into the real reason why you were sleeping next to him this night.

"Thank you," you whispered to him, "for bringing me along on, and all the roses you've given me after each show. It really means a lot to me."

He scooted himself down a bit to meet your face, looking at you with half-lidded eyes and a sleepy grin. "Of course. I'm glad you decided to come with. The roses are just a gift of my gratitude for you." He said to you.

He always knew the right words to say to you. Your heart tugged at his own, begging for him to just kiss you. You had all this pent-up fear inside of your body, and the proximity between you two didn't help contain your nervousness.

"I've missed spending time with you, you know. This whole tour thing kind of helps make up for missed time." You continued to beat around the bush.

"I've missed you, too - believe me," he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "I'm just glad that you're here with me, y/n."

"I am, too." You said to him.

And once the conversation died down, Josh had told you, "Goodnight, sleep well," and shut his eyes to fall into his slumber. You watched as his eyes twitched lightly to rest, lightly tugging you closer to him as he tried to sleep.

You just watched him for a few moments, admiring his perfect features, and guiltily letting your eyes fall to his plush lips. Figuring that he was too tired to have a conversation with you, your body turned itself over, away from him.

You allowed him to spoon you, and due to the space being beyond cramped, he was willingly forced to be pressed into you. You could feel the softness of him through his briefs into your ass, and your body was nearly set on fire at the feeling. His arm that was draped over your side and rested near your stomach tightened you towards his body, and now you were done for. He seemed to have no issue with the closeness, and that had your heart ringing in your ears.

You could feel him, and it was almost too much for you. You had never slept in this position with Josh before, let alone with the lack of clothing by him. You weren't uncomfortable by this, but you knew you'd wake up in a sweat if you didn't just ask him the question that's been plaguing your mind and get you out of this position briefly.

"Why'd you ask me to come on tour with you?" You whispered out to him in a breath.

It took him a few moments to respond. "What do you mean?"

You turned over, meeting his face a bit closer than you had expected. His hand had rested at your waist now, lightly lying there as if it was normal for it to be resting there. At first, you stuttered from how close his lips were to brushing yours, but you cleared your throat, and tried your best to formulate a sentence.

"I'm just a bit confused on why you ask me now to come, when you could've asked me years ago to join you guys. I don't mind it all, but it was just a bit sudden, you know?"

He released a light sigh, averting his eyes from you for a second as he looked down, then flicking them back to you. He swallowed - hard, and you noticed that his touch had lightened on you.

"I enjoy your company, y/n." He shrugged to you.

You knew this game he was playing it. It was the same one you had been a master at all of these years: beating around the bush and running around the truth.

"That's not the whole truth and you know that." You said to him as you grew lightly agitated. Just spit it out, Josh.

"There's no amount of time that's just enough to spend with you," he began, "and frankly, I wanted to have you pack your shit and move to Nashville with me." He said with a hushed laugh, which you matched. "Distance is hard, tougher than I expected. I don't want to leave you again without you knowing that I've been in love you with all these years. I brought you on tour as a sort of stupid test, to see if you could handle the kind of life I live. And since you've been handling all this shit well, I know that we could make things work if we tried."

Your eyes were wide, your heart inside of your throat as you listened to him speak. He had been in love with you for as long as you have had the same feelings for him, and it was such a relief to hear him say the words you longed to hear. You were left a bit speechless, but your mind was certain that you wanted to close the gap between yours and Josh's lips and kiss him into oblivion.

"I never knew how to tell you, and I didn't expect me to share my feelings with you in a bed on a tour bus," he chuckled once more, "but it just feels right. Doesn't it for you?"

You nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes it does, Josh." You sounded a bit desperate with your words, but you didn't care. You had to make sure he knew you felt the same way. So, you continued. "I have had feelings for you the moment we met. I just figured none of this could work out with the kind of life you live, compared to mine. But I want to try, I really do."

"Okay," he said with a smile, "so then let's start now."

He placed his hand on your face, guiding you to his lips and pressing a tender kiss upon you. You took in a sharp inhale as the taste of his minty breath hit your tastebuds, and his lips began to move with yours in a fluid motion. You had yearned for the taste of his mouth, and now it had become an addictive drug to you. The pulse of your heart was set ablaze, and it felt as though it was about to explode out of your chest. You even let your eyes open just a bit to see that it was Josh who you were kissing, and not anyone else. To be reminded that his lips were upon your own, and that this wasn't just a dream.

His insistent mouth parted against yours, sliding his tongue along yours and tasting at your mouth. Your senses were sent into overdrive, and you felt like you were melting into him. You had a hand on his face, then bringing it to the back of his head to tug at his hair, to keep him locked on your lips as a plea to never stop.

His lips were softer than a feather, and he kissed ever so perfectly. All of this felt right; to kiss Josh and be in this moment with him. When you felt his hand move to your waist and tug you closer to his body, and the kiss growing harsher, you knew what you were in for. You were nervous that the sounds of your lips smacking into one another were echoing off the walls, but you were too addicted to the way his mouth tasted of mint to let that fear ruin this for you.

He snaked his hand between your bodies and allowed it to roam under your shirt. You threw your leg over his own and allowing him to move in closer to your body, to tell him silently that you wanted him to continue, and never falter the motions of his mouth on yours.

His hand massaged your breast, toying with your nipple, and you released a light whimper against his lips. He smiled into your mouth, squeezing lightly at the bud just to test his limits. You were practically moaning as quietly as you could into his mouth, but he wasn't denying you of it.

His lips trailed to the nape of your neck, and you pushed your hair off your shoulder and craned the body part to allow him easier access to the skin. He was tender with the nibbles he cursed upon your skin, sucking agonizingly slow and reaching your collarbone. He dragged his tongue along your pulse point to your jaw and turned your face into his to allow his lips back onto yours.

You felt the pads of his fingers slowly moving their way down your stomach, and the hand that once occupied your back had moved to the side of your face that was pressed against the pillow. The leg you had hooked over his was beginning to slowly spread more for him, while you adjusted your other leg to be in a better position for his hands.

As soon as he made contact with your clit, rubbing torturously slow circles on the sensitive bud, you released a light gasp and breaking the kiss. He chuckled lightly at your reaction, pecking your lips and tuning into your heavy breathing.

"You're going to have to be a bit quieter than that if we're going to do this here, mama." He said into your lips, then resting his forehead against your own.

You nodded against his head, pressing your lips together tightly and exhaling the lightest sound of a whimper. You had your teeth digging into your bottom lip, piercing at the skin and hoping to God that you wouldn't make another loud sound.

"This okay?" He asked, although he already has his hand on you. It was as if he was posing the question just to hear your gratitude for his touch.

"Yes, more than okay." You nodded vigorously, with your voice low to a whisper. "Feels so good."

His fingers slipped inside of you, and your mouth dropped open as your eyes rolled into the back of your head with euphoria. You could feel his length twitching against your stomach, and with the way his fingers were pumping into you and curling effortlessly, you were unsure how quiet you could be.

"Josh." You whimpered as his fingers found that singular sweet spot inside of you.

He stopped his motions almost immediately and pressed his pointer finger onto your lips. He captivated your attention with his eyes as he dragged his finger down your lips and causing your bottom one to recoil back to its original position.

He scooted closer to you, propping himself on his free arm and leaning into your ear. You were now on your back, and he continued the slow pumping motions of his fingers.

"Need help keeping quiet, mama?" He said to you with a lustful, deep voice. You nodded at him, waiting for him to finally look back to you.

He placed his hand flatly on your mouth to muffle your cries of ecstasy, testing your limits by speeding the pace of his fingers inside of you. You let your moans rumble against his palm, and to your ears, it was quiet enough. You looked to him with eyes of adoration, while his jaw was hung open as he kept his focus on watching his fingers move through your shorts.

"Should probably take these off." He offered to you by leaning into your ear as his fingers faltered into a steady, slower pace. You quickly obliged, struggling to throw your shorts and panties off of your body as he kept his fingers inside of you. Despite the awkward position, you were able to kick them both off of your ankles to rest at the end of the bed.

"Better?" He asked you, and you nodded against your hand. "Wanna try keeping quiet again, mama?" You grabbed his wrist and removed his hand slowly with a smile plastered on your face, which he matched, and pressed a feathery-light kiss onto your lips.

He watched his fingers disappear and reappear inside of you, entranced by the sight that he was touching and pleasuring you. The blanket had fallen just enough to allow the view to be put on full display, and curse anyone who would try and pull the curtain on the bunk to witness the sight. You had glanced down at the motions, letting your hand fall onto his bicep and digging your nails into the skin. You had found a way to keep your moans of pleasure down to a minimum, by tugging onto your bottom lip hard enough until it nearly hurt.

He slid his fingers from inside of you, taking them to his lips and shoving them into his mouth. He hummed delightfully and came to your lips again. He liked to speak to you that close, as it was teasing a kiss, yet denying you of it, although he wanted to.

"I'll get a better taste of you when we're not in this position." He said, to which you huffed a laugh and reached to peck at his lips. He in turn placed a kiss on your begging lips and looked down at you with a devilish grin.

He began tugging off his briefs while you tugged your shirt over your head and threw it to the end of the bed, capturing his lips by placing your hands on his cheeks. He crawled over you, motioning for you to lay on your back, and he had bumped his head on top of the bunk.

"Fuck," he chuckled, rubbing the top of his head.

"You okay?" You giggled at him, seeing him hunched over you in between your propped up legs.

"Yeah, I'll be okay. Minor bruising, I'm sure." He shrugged, placing a peck on your lips.

The curtain rings that hung onto the rod and encapsulated the sight of you two naked lightly rung with his extra movements, and he silently cursed at the sound, and watched his motions more carefully to decrease the noise.

You watched as he pursed his lips into the palm of his hand and allowed spit to dribble from his mouth and began pumping his length. Your eyes fell to his manhood, widening them at the sight of him. His tip leaked with pearl-white precum, visible enough to you when you squinted. His pink tip teased at your folds, sliding through them before he made contact with your entrance. His hands were propped on either side of your head, leaning into your body and closing the proximity with you as he slid into you.

His head fell onto the side of the pillow as he fully bottomed out, groaning into your ear a slur of a curse. You grabbed at the back of his head and tugged at his hair, mouth opening with a choked gasp. You remembered to keep yourself quiet to the best of your ability, but as he began to start a steady pace inside of you, you had to go back to pressing your mouth tightly shut.

"Fuck, mama," he said with a guttural groan, "think I'm going to have problems keeping quiet with how good you fucking feel."

You tilted your chin up as your eyes closed shut, feeling him with every fiber of your being sliding in and out of you. You clenched around his length, hearing the lightest of whimpers escape his mouth, and kept at your motions. You dug your fingernails into his toned back and allowed them to imprint themselves onto the skin.

"That feel good, Josh?" You lightly teased at him by leaning into his ear and pressing a kiss on the shell of it.

"Yes, just keep fucking doing that - please." He hissed through his gritted teeth.

The only thing you could say was his name, with tears brimming at the corners of your eyes in pleasure. It was exceedingly difficult to keep your moans to a minimum with the way Josh thrusted into you, and you were sure the entire band had heard their fair share of Josh's name by now.

He rocked his hips into you at a faster pace, chasing for his high, and hoping that you were finding yours. You had felt sweat accumulating on your hairline, and you were unsure if it was because of Josh's body heat radiating against you, or because of your intense attention to keeping quiet.

His head moved to be in front of you, and you saw that his jaw had hung open, with his eyes switching between staying shut and staying open halfway. He was so undeniably desirable in this moment, and you swore you've seen him look like this before when performing on stage. But this was because you were making him feel good, and no one else.

"I've wanted this for so long, Josh." You whispered to him through a whimper.

"So have I, mama," he pressed an open-mouthed kiss onto your lips, "been thinking about it for forever. Not letting you go again."

It was a relief to hear him say such a thing, as it made your feelings about him justified. Not only with him being inside of you, but with the fact that he continuously graced your ears with praises and words of affirmation.

You repeated the words in your head: "Not letting you go again." You couldn't comprehend in what way he meant that, but you could only assume that after this, you weren't going back to being friends. There was no way in hell you could forget how he felt inside of you, how he caressed your body, and how sweet he sounded saying your name.

You could feel his thrusts growing sloppy and desperately trying to keep the swift rhythm he had previously set. You forced your legs to wrap around his torso, although the nearly fallen blanket had battled that motion. With him brought in at a new angle, he had his forehead rested onto yours, thrusting himself deeper into you.

He snaked one of his hands through your connected bodies and found your clit, rubbing vigorously to try and meet him at his release. His face was full of anguish as he tried to hold himself back, wanting to savor this moment forever with you. But it was becoming increasingly hard, and he wanted you to reach your high with him.

Your eyebrows were tightly furrowed as your eyes softened, mouth hung without releasing a sound. Yet, you warned him of your release as you felt the pleasure was about to consume your entire body.

"Josh, Josh I'm so close. Just like that," you urged him to continue his circles on your clit, "don't fucking stop." You said in between breaths.

"I'm gonna cum, fuck." He said with his teeth clattered together, forehead digging into yours as his mouth hung open and released the softest of grunts that echoed off your lips. "Come on, mama, cum with me - please."

His words swirled in your head, and the appraisal was nearly too much for you. You were so close to ascending over the edge, with the way he was pumping himself into you, and the harsh circles on your clit. You swore you were piercing his skin too deeply, but you felt as though grasping onto him in such a manner was helping muffling your moans.

Your back arched with your head digging into the pillow beneath you, eyes shutting tightly as your orgasm overtook your body. Your legs shook around Josh's waist in an uncontrollable spasm as you came, surprisingly keeping yourself quiet through it all. You felt Josh twitch inside of you, his thrusts into you staggering as his own release consumed him. He was groaning deeply into your ear, louder than you figured he would, and your eyes widened at the abrupt noise he produced. Although he was stilled inside of you for a moment, he gave himself a few more pumps to fully drain his release and slowing his motions on your clit.

Your chest heaved against his that seemed to match your unsteady breathing, allowing his forehead to connect onto yours and press a harsh kiss on your lips. He removed his fingers from your sensitive bud, resting his hand onto your cheek as his mouth curled into a devilish grin. You brought your hands to his face to remove your death grip on his back, and hopefully alleviate any pain had caused him.

"Sorry if I was gripping too hard on your back." You apologized to him, hoping that no blood was drawn from the imprints of your nails.

"Don't apologize. I liked it, anyways." He pecked your lips. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," you said with a vigorous nod, "you?"

"Fantastic. Didn't think our first time would be on a fucking bus." He chuckled, causing you to giggle.

"Nor did I." An unamused voice from above said.

Josh turned his head up to the top of the bunk with wide eyes, whereas shock ran through your entire system. You had slapped a hand over your mouth, looking to Josh with terror. He only looked at you with an astonished, open-mouthed smile, looking back up to the top of the bunk and shaking his head.

"Sorry, Jake." He said lightly.

"I think we all deserve an apology, Josh." Sam said, and that had you throwing your hands in the air before covering your face in sheer embarrassment.

"Is Danny awake, too?" Josh asked.

There was silence for a moment.

"Unfortunately." He squeaked.

The three men chuckled, and Josh slipped from you and found your shorts and underwear for you. As you slipped them on, you scanned the dark area for your shirt, finding it at the edge of the bed, and snatching it to throw over your body.

"Well, then I apologize to everyone who endured any part of that." Josh rolled his eyes as he threw his hand into the air.

"Couldn't have just waited like a normal person for everyone to be off of the bus, or better yet, when we were stopped at a hotel for the night?" Sam said in an aggravated tone.

"In our defense, I thought we were being quiet." Josh said to them.

"That's what you consider quiet? God, Josh, I didn't need to know you call a woman 'mama' when you fuck her." Sam said with a hint of laughter in his voice. "You guys done now or what?"

"Yes, yes we're done! Could've just fucking plugged your ears if you didn't want to hear any of it." Josh rolled his eyes as he slipped his briefs onto his body to the best of his ability.

You were curled up in a ball, with your back turned to the curtain, entire body burning up with utter embarrassment. Josh tucked himself into the blankets and pulled you into his body, moving the strands of hair that rested on your cheek behind your ear in hopes of consoling you.

The conversation of your sexual encounter with Josh seemed to die down, so you finally felt comforted enough to rest your eyes.

Until...

"Josh, just like that!" Sam mocked you, causing the entire bus to abrupt in laughter.

You shook your head and buried your face into the crook of Josh's neck, clinging onto him helplessly.

"Alright Sam, you want me to bring up that time Danny and I walked in on you in your dressing room with your girlfriend?" Josh began to grow agitated with the immature teasing of his younger brother.

"I don't think we need to talk about that." Sam said.

"Glad I didn't have to burn that image from my mind." Jake chuckled.

"Aw man, I just forgot about that!" Danny groaned, which had Josh chuckling lightly.

"Wait, what happened?" You mouthed to Josh.

"I'll tell you the gruesome details another time." He mouthed back, pressing a kiss onto your head.

"So, y/n, I guess you told Josh how you felt then, huh?" Jake said.

"What do you think?" You rolled your eyes with a sigh.

"She speaks!" Jake gasped, causing Danny and Sam to chuckle at his snide comment. Your face was entirely red, fuming with utter mortification that they heard everything that happened between you and Josh, which was supposed to be a private, intimate moment.

"Alright, enough talking about it now. I'm fucking exhausted." Josh tried to shush them.

"Oh, I'm sure you are, Josh. How do you think we feel?" Danny said, pushing the conversation just a tad further.

"I know where you sleep, you know! Go the fuck to bed, shitheads." Josh said with a light chuckle. That had seemed to shut the band up and allow you a bit of peace before the morning came.

He tilted his chin down and looked to you. "Are you okay?" He said merely below a whisper.

You nodded at him. "I will be." He pecked your lips after your response, grateful that you weren't as upset as you appeared to be.

A grin curled his lips, and you had light confusion plastered on your face. "What?" You asked him.

"How long have you wanted to tell me how you felt? Seems as though Jake knew all along." He said to you.

"Well, I've always wanted to say something, but there's just always been those doubts about how you felt, and also never the right timing. I knew if I waited longer to speak up, I wouldn't have said anything to you, and I would've had to watch you leave again. Jake and I had a talk about it before this happened." You told him.

"I'm glad he convinced you to say something. I've been a bit nervous myself telling you, but something told me that I shouldn't be, and that it was the right time to finally fess up." He said to you.

You pressed a kiss onto his lips, soft and sweet, and pulled away from his lips with a smile plastered on your face. You couldn't stop smiling, as there was no reason not to. You had waited so long for Josh to finally secure his feelings for you, and now that you had it, you felt grateful for the way things had turned out.

"Probably best if we don't have any more bus sex." He chuckled, to which you matched.

"Private settings from now on." You said to him with a stern glare. "This is never happening again."

"Oh, I promise you my dear, that wherever we have sex at again, you'll be able to show me how loud you truly can be."

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

taglist: @ageofhearingloss @sacredjake @mountain-in-springtime @ignite-my-fire @gvfsstardust @jakesguitarsolo @tripthelightfatality @gold-mines-melting @digitalcalamity @demolitionndann @lipstickitty @bluee07 @lexii-nv-c @joopsworld @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye @writingcold @stardustcatcher @absolutely--mental @hippievanfleet @gretasfallingsky @dont-go-home-without-me @beckahvanfleet @threadthatssacred @indigofallingsky @bowievanfleet @sam-i-am-20 @laneygvf @malany-gvf @timid-little-fox @josh-iamyour-mama @starshine-wagner @lyndz2names @jjwasneverhere @iffypanic @mulberrimouse

[darylsfavoritegirl]

male reader & daryl getting real high (smokin lots of joints) off in a secluded area of alexandria? talking about really deep shit, like their equally horrible pasts, & bonding over how similar they are? idk i'd love to see that. :)

thank you for the request :)

A/N: this is poorly proof read and could've been a lot longer i just got really impatient and i had to post something. also the reason why their conversations are so vague is because 1- theyre high 2-theyre men

so there you go :)

"Took me damn forever to find ya." The archer huffed as he ambled towards you. His backpack was hanging on his left arm as his apperance hinted how he was very well ready and equipped.

Your eyes were semi-shut as you inhaled the joint between your fingers. The clammy tip of the marijuana kept easing your muscles, making them only become more lethargic with each passing second as contentment was all you could sense in your being.

A cunning smirk was bearing your features because you couldn't help it. The run had already gotten cancelled and seeing the tough archer this keen made you ridicule him inside though you knew it was wrong, you were getting lit.

Your eyes observed the area for a brief moment. You were close to the outer walls in Alexandria where no one took patrols owing to the fact that it was one of the strongest walls.

Wind carried a few kids' laughter as they hurried to catch a ball as your eyes shifted to Daryl.

"What'ca ya doin?" He inquired with squinted eyes and curiousity he couldn't conceal.

"Gettin' high." A smirk tugged the corner of your lips as you raised one brow softly.

He stood inches away from you as he eyed you down. He rested his body weight on his right leg and bit on his middle fingernail.

You squinted your eyes at him as the sun was shining behind his body.

"Ain't the time."

"C'mon." He spoke under his breath and turned his body to the side.

"The run got postponed." You confessed at the end.

A sense of being taken aback flashed his face.

"Wha' for?" He spoke low

You exhaled as smoke escaped your mouth and lowered your head. You leered at him through your brows for an insant.

"Some herd is moving towards the area or some shit." You sighed once again, lifting your gaze to see him.

He kept his hands on his pockets, eyes narrowed indicating he was lost in thought. You shielded your hand above your eyes as you got up, pushing your chest out. Your cockyness could be spotted ten miles away everytime you were up in the clouds due to being high.

"Have a smoke with me." You mouthed.

His hesitation radiated the perimeter as you looked at him and inquired

"No?"

You challenged him as he seemed as if being pulled back into the Earth. His brows raised, looking through your entire being.

You had only known him for a few months when your group ran into two people called Glenn and Tara. Your group was on a mission that seemed to be never ending, yet some idiotic scene broke out. That Eugene guy had you fooled in your entire journey.

You didn't really know Daryl, neither did he. He was the silent type, not talking much unless necessary or for the sake of so-called compulsory morality even in the events of a nettlesome apocalpyse.

You approached near your bag you had left next to the thorns alongside lawn that hadn't been mowed for atleast a couple months. You put one knee on the ground as you took out your stash.

You got up, throwing the pack of stash to the air and catching it.

"Let loose." You exasperatedly sighed and rolled your eyes enough to catch his attention.

"Runnin' off like dis helps ya with wha' ?" He geniuenly wondered as you could see him relaxing a bit more. His brows were still furrowed yet you sat on the step of a stair.

"You wouldn't believe it." You quipped as you tapped your hand on your next to the step.

You traced him through your lashes with squinted eyes. You could view his undecisive, reluctant-ish demanour.

" 'm in." He muttered vaguely and sat next to you as a grunt left his mouth.

You took out your lighter in your pocket and ignited his joint.

It wasn't until he burnt a few marijuanas that he finally uttered a few words. Until then, neither of you did anything besides inhaling the soothing drug between your lips. The more breeze grazed your faces, the more tranquil you both became. So out of touch with outer problems that were going on at the moment. So serene, so unruffled.

"Heard ya was a military guy." He explained. Your eyes shifted to his face lightly to observe his droppy eyes, god knows how sleep deprivated he was. His back was slouch, head barely lifted to the direction infront of his eyes.

"Did it for money." You confessed, sticking your piercing gaze to his greasy hair in hope to get him look at you.

"Mmhm." He clattered subtly as he chewed on his goatee beard.

"Were you?" You inquired, contemplating this might be one of the very few chances you had to get to know this group of people a bit better, people whom you had meet not so long ago.

"Nah."

"Mah brother, Merle, was." He got quiet, brows furrowed more than before. No matter how tranquil he became, you noticed how he couldn't get his teeth off his lips or beard.

"You got a brother?" You sung in a zealous way. You adored men like Daryl, men who grew up in the south. Men like you. Real Americans.

"Did." He uttered softly as he forced a harsher scowl.

Your eyes widened lightly, mouth ajar as your chopped lips throbbed at the breeze. This was the end of the world, it was never bright to ask such questions

"Fuck, man. I- I didn't know." You finally spoke low as he clapped his hand to get rid of the dust that had accumulated from the step in this unattended side of the town.

You were face to face as mortification swarmed all over your body. You had tonnes of questions, did he die before the fall? What was he like? Does he think about him occasionally?

"Relax." A forceful smile painted his lips as his eyes fixated on the wall infront of him.

"I ain't thinkin' 'bout him no more." His averted stare locked on a far distance.

His joint was between his chopped lips as he picked the skin on his calloused fingers.

"Left fer tha military not cuz he was ready ta be a martyr." He clenched his jaw, eyes spiritless more than ever. Narrowed as though he couldn't think of words to utter. Plain as it was, you didn't want him to close in his shell because of your anticipation in getting to know him more.

"Bleed fer America or sum' shit." He added.

"Did it to escape life." His lack of energy was evident.

"If a man's got his reasons." You muttered under your breath as your head sagged between your shoulders softly. You didn't mean what you said, that's why it came out so brittle, so weak. Even you didn't believe it, it was just some limp excuse you had created for yourself years ago so that you would stay sane.

"Nah, I knew his damn reasons."

He gave you an insightful glare, leaving you crumble inside.

You took a deep breath, fingers playing with the buttons of your flannel. Your eyes raised at your fingertips as you debated whether to speak up or not.

"You know, I grew up in Georgia."

"Countryside, very south." You shook your head as you let out a nervous chuckle. Your smile lines didn't shift as they started tremble slightly from how long you'd been holding a smile.

"Son to a rancher family. Fanatically religious."

You dared to eyeball him through your brows. Smoke hitting his face as breeze changed its direction, your hair fell infront of your eyes.

"I mean, I know I don't sound like a southerner."

"But I am."

"Worked damned hard to lose my accent 'cause of prissy boys." You let another uneasy chuckle, remembering the very first day your dad dropped you in some college you'd believed you were gonna succeed in, that you were gonna prove you can be better than your blood. That you could end the cycle and prove everyone else wrong.

It wasn't even a term in school that you decided to drop out. You couldn't go back home and bear hearing condescending comments from your family, how college was some capitalist trick, how you should be like them and not fill your head with delusional ideas. So you signed up for military.

You were getting way away from your point as he turned his head to you, grabbing another marijuana from your stash.

Your track of thought was interrupted by the sound of him going through your stash.

"Fuck it. Now I'm just ramblin' " You shook your head as you took a long drag.

"Ya ain't. Keep goin' "

You couldn't tell if he was just being polite -yet rational for you to assume he never had such worry. You glared at him with cautious eyes as he placed his palms on the frontstep of the back door of the whatever abandoned house's perimeter you were on. He placed his feet on the long, untamed lawn, crossing his next foot on the other and threw his head back. You could feel him getting lost due to marijuana, you lost count of how many he had had now.

"The way I see it," He grunted between drags and observed the sky with his dark eyes.

"Ain't nothin' there ta worry 'bout." He spoke as if he couldn't believe his ears to see someone being this self-conscious about their accent.

"Fer me, never did." He took another drag.

"Never had ta deal with no pansies from the city before."

"That was stupid, I know." You chuckled at his way of seeing things.

"Where'd ya say ya grew up in again?" He shifted his head to you after a couple of seconds

"Georgia."

"Uh-huh." He curled the tip of the marijuana with his thumb as he exclaimed softly.

"What is it?" You asked.

"Same 'ere." He raised a brow.

"Fact is, ain't never been outta Georgia 'fore al' dis." A smile between sorrow and misrepresented self-conceit coloured his features. He squinted eyes at you.

"Ain't no way." You huffed with a hint of astonishment in your eyes.

"Tha's right." He said.

" 'Lways had sum' shit ta keep ma' engaged."

"Nuthin' worth a damn." His eyes indicated a sense of inward melancholy.

"Just drifted behind ma brother 's all I done. Did whatever he'd told me to." His eyes spaced out as though he was remembering those days.

It got silent. You respected his privacy at the moment. You couldn't tell if he was gonna regret having you told these things next day. You didn't even know if it bothered you. You had more things in common than you'd ever guess.

"You got family before all this?" You asked, not hiding your interest.

"If ya can call it tha' " He chuckled loosely.

Your eyes observed his body head to toe as he lied down restlessly on the stairs with a curled marijuana that was to burn his fingertips.

"Old man was a jackass. Ain't never done shit for us." He kept speaking. He wasn't looking at you, in fact did it feel like he didn't acknowledge anyone's presence.

"And ma' mom.." He didn't finish his sentence. You didn't force him to.

"Well.." His adam's apple trembled lightly as he used the wooden floor as an ashtray.

He got quite more than ever, eyes glossy which put you in disbelief. You couldn't know men like him would cry infront of an another man. Nonetheless, after a few swift blinks, he put himself together. He shifted his position and sat on the corner of the stair, back leaning against the porch fence as he beheld you.

"Grew up surrounded by a whole bunch of people that knew nothin' 'bout them kids."

Your heart clenched at his words. You knew the feeling, you swallowed your spit as you wished you had brought something to drink.

He sat across you. You dropped your head between your shoulders as you restlessly controlled your shallow breaths.

You didn't know what was going on inside of you. Your stomach felt like tightening alongside with the feeling of your heart being flipped inside and out.

Blood rushing to your every cell only made you stimulated, hands getting sweaty as you kept being occupied with your flannel's buttons.

You pressed your lips together only to start biting on the skin a second later.

"Ya al'right over there?" He asked mindlessly.

You lifted your head as he started to scribble on the wooden floor with his knife. He eyeballed you through his brows. His body language suggested a subtle irritation as you didn't answer. You were thinking of right words to utter.

"It's just... Didn't think you'd be the person who..."

You cut it mid-sentence as you decided to not jump into a conclusion.

"Men like you are always so though and so..." Your eyes traced the sky and your lips kept shaking as you begged to utter the proper things.

"Stop." He shook his head and your eyes grazed his face.

"Ain't into tha' whole pep talk crap." The curls of his lips trembled. He went back to scribbling the floor as if not expecting a respond from you.

"It ain't a pep talk." You stuck your gaze upon his greasy bangs.

"My dad was a drunken 'sides the times he was done with his farm errands." Your eyes followed his scribbles on the floor as your mind travelled to that dreadful childhood, youth...

"Taking care of the animals or..."

"I don't fuckin' know, mending the field or some shit."

You knew it like the back of your hand that you didn't make any sense at the moment. Your body, brain, mind were just too numb.

"Just another asshole that had a problem with everyone else in the house..." You muttered.

"Sucks." He grunted.

"It does." You mumbled once again.

You spent the rest of the day either sitting in complete silence or talking about the world before everything had gone to shit as sun set over Alexandria.

[mysticficti0n]

All my Attention part 3

warnings- swearing, mentions of a dildo, sexual tension, kissing, quite fluffy

words- 3.1k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well, sorry this part has taken a while- I'm on holiday atm so I probably wont be posting till I'm home BUT I didn't want you to be without, also fucking thank you all so much for the response to the first and second part! I can't believe the response to it, I could've cried because im a baby , love you all 🤍

(also to the people who've sent requests they will be coming soon!)

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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

"exactly what I said- we can't keep doing the same thing at every show" Georg spoke shovelling eggs into his mouth, the band and our runners, managers, directors, and everyone else who I didn't know exactly what they did for us... were all sat on tables eating breakfast before rehearsal "because I'm sorry if we go on tour I wont wanna blow my brain out because i'm playing by your side for the millionth time"

"yeah but there's a thing called a set list, we have to stick with it otherwise" Bill leaned closer into the table facing all of us "otherwise we'd get shit and we all know how Felix will react- we all remember last time" he had a point, Felix as nice as he can act is a massive cock, once in a performance we decided to all go to the front of that stage to say goodnight- but Felix didn't like that and he ended up cancelling our next 3 shows to 'teach us a lesson'

"even so" the bassist grumbled, the conversation fell short as we all continued to eat, I had a bowl of granola, greek yogurt, raspberries and strawberries, soon the scrapping of a chair pulled me from eating my breakfast, I looked up to see Tom in a huge black shirt and basketball shorts "hungry?" Georg joked seeing the pile of food on his friends plate

"a bit" Tom laughed grabbing part of a waffle "whats that?" he spoke looking at me, that was the first time he spoke to me since what happened only an hour before, I think we were both in a shock state still, but I also couldn't deny how good it felt

"granola, yogurt and fruit" I spoke back digging my spoon into the mix and pulling it back so he could have a taste, he bent forward taking the food and hummed

"Tha actuwally gwood" he spoke mouth still full

"ew Thomas swallow for fucks sake!" I spat seeing him nearly choke the food back up "Tom!" I called pushing myself away from the table "whats wrong with you" I laughed I look to see the rest of the boys laughing as well at his stupidity

"we can't go anywhere nice with you two" Bill commented throwing a napkin to his brother who wiped his mouth and finished his laugh

"sorry- I don't know why that was so funny to hear you say" he snorted, I finally sat back in my place next to Gustav who was eating his food with a smile

"all I said was swallow your food" I argued back looking at the guitarist

"normally me saying that to girls-" I rolled my eyes at his words but everyone else chuckled along, after another half an hour (mostly so Tom could finish his monstrous plate) we were bringing our bags down from the hotel room to put in the bus, we all got in the lift which I don't think was made for 5 people, and 2 of those 5 being over six foot tall

"can you move over I can't fucking breath" I spoke shoving Bill back bit

"now I can't breath you cunt!" Bill called back pushing me back laughing, soon the intercom spoke and the doors opened and I made my way out but was soon tackled by the black haired singer

"BILL WHAT THE FUCK" I shouted with a laugh, I crawled from his grip and began running away seeing him get up to and following my movement "AHHH!" I screamed turning a corner and then slipping past a cleaner cart

"Y/N COME HERE!" I herd Tom voice shout as I sprinted to him with his twin hot on my tail, I watched him open his hotel room and I ran as quick as I could into it and slammed the door spitting out a chuckle hearing the boy hit the door

"BITCH!" Bill sang followed by his own laugh and steps faded away from the door, I sat on Tom's bed and lay my head back into the sheets catching my breath hearing the door open again

"you good now?" He asked smiling at me "I didn't realise you were that fast- I swear you weren't when we were kids"

"excuse me! people change" I answered kicking him slightly, he grabbed my ankle stopping me from moving anymore- I melted at his touch which wasn't a usual thing

"mhm, you changed in a good way babe don't worry about it" he flirted looking down at me the smile changing into a smirk

"you're in a very odd mood today mr Kaulitz" I spoke sitting myself as he let go of my ankle

"only for you-" he leant down, pressing his head on mine "and if I remember properly, who moaned when we kissed earlier? hum?" his hand was now resting on the base of my neck "who was it Y/n?"

"I don't know Tom" I answered seeing him bite his lip at my words "maybe you imagined it?" we always played around, flirting but this was different... very different

"I have a fucking good imagination then don't I?" Tom pulled away slightly, his his fingers brushed my skin as he let go and he held my chin, lifting my face to look up to him "....I prefer looking at you like this" I blushed at his words, they made me feel soft

"bet you say that to all the girls" he seethed rolling his eyes

"only the special ones...and you're really special!"

"way to ruin a mood" I huffed

"I'm joking Y/n/n, you just look hot below me ts'all" his hand held me tighter and he bent to reach my lips, he pressed hard humming into the feeling and sucked my bottom lip causing me to have to hold back any noise I threatened to make as I didn't want a repeat of earlier "I better get packing" he spoke pulling back creasing my cheek with his thumb leaving me with a unfulfilled feeling

"yeah.." I pouted, he looked back down at me and grinned

"god don't look at me like that... fuck- stop now, I've gotta pack" I stood with him as he turned to grab a tossed shirt from the floor, his hand glided down my thigh leaving a trail of goosebumps- he knew what he was doing, making me blush and shudder as his hand left me "oopsie"

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we all sat backstage kicking our heals as the crowd arrived, but we also knew the crowd was special- our families were watching us tonight, I decided I'd wear a more appropriate outfit (not like my family hadn't seen pictures of me in mini-skirts and tube tops saying 'pouty') I looked alot like Tom, my baggy jeans hanging around my hips with a matching tank top to him "5 minuets!" a runner called making us all rise from our places

"excited?" Georg smiled shoving me lightly

"I can't wait" I spoke pinning around to the music that began, Bill looked back at me with a smile followed by a wink

"3...2...1" Felix called and Tom, Bill entered the stage erring a eruption from the crowd "go!" Georg and I walked on and smiled seeing the sea of fans watching us with grins plastering their faces and finally Gustav entered

"GOOD EVENING TRIER" Bill called holding the mic close "ARE YOU EXCITED!" though the lights were blinding I could make out the shapes of bodies from my place "ugh we have a show n' a half for you all tonight, and this show is very special to us- one, this is our last show here in the lovely Trier and- most importantly our biggest fans are here tonight" the lights moved to the box above the crowd and for the first time in weeks I saw them: mom, dad, Stella, the Kaulitz, Listing and Schäfer family, I nearly cried waving to them and blowing them kisses "so tonight is going to be the best show we've ever done guys! ARE YOU READY" I watched as my family cheered and little Stella clapped her hands. Tom's guitar began the start of Scream followed by Gustav and Bill ran back to main stage, the crowd danced and jumped along "SCREAM" they called back to us at every chorus making me laugh.

The night carried on and everything was going amazingly, and it came time for me to take centre stage, I brought my mic and herd people call my name "so- this is our newest piece of music, I originally wrote when I was in a very bad place, and as you all know I'm back up singer so usually I don't perform up here- so close to everyone so I'm a little nervous but.. but it means a lot to me so.. this is 'please don't jump'" claps filled the room and Tom joined me giving me a nod as he plucked away followed by Gustav and Georg, Bill was in the corner sipping a water watching me like a proud dad

I let my self get lost in the music, stomping my feet and twirling around "don't let memories go! of me and you" I sang watching my family stare in awe, I began up stage onto the platform where I stood teetering on the edge, all lights went off besides the one on me "PLEASE DON'T JUMP! DON'T JUMP, AND IF ALL THAT CAN'T HOLD YOU BACK, THEN I'LL JUMP FOR YOU" I finished bowing to the crowd who burst out with claps, screams and calls making me jump at the sudden noise

"Y/N Y/N Y/N!" people began to chant making me well up, Gustav ran up the platform steps holding my hand gently so I could get down the steps as it was tricky in platforms, hand in hand we met with Tom who smiled widely mouthing 'they're proud' I looked to see my mom whistling, soon the five of us stood at the tip of that walkway, people reached for us, calling us all over

"THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!" we all shouted bowing once more as the light darkened, we all walked off and back to our room where there were drinks set out and towel "shit Im so thirsty" Georg spoke grabbing the bottle and cracking it open as we all took our first proper breath and relaxed

"erm- sorry I know you got off stage but someones hear" Gayle, my runner spoke holding the door open a little more

"BABA!" a small voice called, I looked down to see Stella dressed in a Tokio Hotel shirt and orange leggings running toward me, her blonde hair tied into piggy tails

"STELLA!" I cried falling to my knees pulling her into my arms "oh my god I missed you so much" I whispered into her neck, her bright eyes looked into mine and I couldn't let go of her, I pressed kisses to her chubby cheeks

"Oh my- Y/n dear! another voice came in and I snapped my head to see my mother, tear stained face reaching for me, I watched as Stella ran onto Gustav who picked her up hugging her tightly and I ran to my mom who was closely followed by the rest of our families "sunshine I missed you!"

"I missed you too mom" I cried as she stroked my hair away from my face, she let go and I turned to see my dad who had Tom in a bro-hug

"aww hello Poppy!" he spoke, I nearly fell apart hearing my nickname again, and he grabbed me into the hug "aw that was amazing kids" he spoke letting go of us, I stood speaking with them until I herd the voice of my sister

"Tommy!" she laughed and everyones faces snapped to her

"SHE SAID MY NAME!" The dreadheaded boy called lifting her into his arms and tickling her "ME BEFORE BILL!" he danced seeing her smile

"Hey! Stella I thought you liked me more!" Bill huffed squishing the cheeks of her face

"am I the better twin?...yeah! I know" Tom scoffed bouncing her on his hip, our families laughed and all began hugging each other

"darlings that show was fantastic and the crowd! I couldn't believe it" Simone, the twins mom smiled "I couldn't be more proud"

"thanks mom" Bill hugged pressing a kiss to her cheek "wait..erm hold on!" we all watched as the singer ran out calling for something, I turned to see Stella smiling and reaching for all the boys, Tom, Georg and Gustav were sat on the floor singing songs and twirling her around, the song finished and Stella did a bow making the boys laugh at her antics

"Baba!" the little blonde called reaching for me, Tom realised and quickly scooped her up so she was lying on her tummy with her arms out she began airplane sounds (but kept interrupting herself with her chuckles) "Brrrrrrrrr!" she grinned showing her two small teeth

"aww my baby airplane" I spoke reaching for her as Tom got closer, the two reached me and I took my sister from his arms spinning her while pressing a kiss to her cheek again "you're a very cute plane Stella"

"Plane!" she repeated getting a 'yeah a plane' from the guitarist who couldn't stop smiling

"Okay... everyone come stand over here were getting a photo!" Bill came back in grabbing his family, the line up was the Kaulitz' far left, then my family the Y/l/n's, then the Schäfer's and finally Listing's "We want a few!" Bill called to the person holding the camera

"1...2....3" everyone did a wide smile, even Stella knew what was going on "perfect, do you want another one of these then we can do different stuff like.. the point?" its like a lightbulb went off it the taller twins head

"okay yes... then the point, then serious faces, then one with us 5 a bit more infront of our families, then on chairs" he rambles while setting us all back out for the next 3000 photo's we'd be taking

I don't think I've ever herd the numbers 1,2 and 3 said so much in my life but after half an hour the pictures were finally done and in fairness they looked great "well we best get going" Christine, Georg's mom spoke grabbing her bag

"oh.." we began before Simone whispered something to her husband

"why don't you all come stay round ours? we can have a family night, drinks, games, food" me and the band cheered, quickly grabbing our stuff and getting ready to walk out- we knew that today being a day show, fans would be waiting for us- we decided the safest option was to give our families over to security along with our bags and walk out on our own

"okay Stella we'll see you in a little while okay?" I hugged her once more before giving her over to dad who was carrying her out, we waited till we knew they were in their cars and I came the time we'd be walking out, with one last check of the room we began outside, screams filled our ears, people threw flowers to us, cards, papers and... thongs- but we picked the flowers up. a few people grabbed at my clothing but besides that it was a safe 3 minuet walk from the building to the bus

"they were loud" Gustav spoke getting into his favourite seat, at the very back on the left "Georg come sit!" he called to the bassist who jumped through the seats, leaving Bill who liked sitting in the front then me and Tom sat in the middle two seats

"god I fucking loved that show" I spoke belting myself in, Tom did the same and our hands brushed- its not something that many would really worry about, it was an accident.. but I could help go hot at the feeling

"it was so good, I feel like we'll be in Felix's good books" the dreaded boy spoke getting a nod from the band, we finally began the drive home, it would only take around an hour and a half so I got myself comfy which meant me resting my legs over Tom- this was a normal thing as usually sometime around the trip we'd switch and I can accidentally put my cold drink on his legs while he's asleep definitely not making him yelp- no not at all...

"can you take my shoes off, you're closer" I spoke tapping his shoulder and with a huff he began unlacing the platforms, I sighed at the feeling of my feet going light and not having to lug those shoes around any more "thanks bab" I called leaning my head back, Tom got comfy to, scooting deeper into the seat and his hands lay on my legs drawing small shapes and humming a long to whatever song was on the radio

"wanna know something crazy?" He asked looking over at me to which I nodded "I haven't fucked a girl since Tuesday, and its Friday now" I pretend to be shocked, slapping my hands to my face

"holy shit! that is crazy!" he rolled his eyes "I can't even remember when I last fucked someone- probably around my birthday" I sighed slightly annoyed, not that I'm some sex freak who needs to be constantly fucked to live but... my birthday is in February and its now July

"damn... how do you go that long?" Georg spoke uncrossing his arms, being genuinely interested

"Notta clue... I-"

"Y/n I know whats in the back draw in your room" Bill turned showing a sinister smile

"Bill!" I called knowing exactly what he was on about

"ooo" the boys cooed making me go red, Bill laughed even harder pointing at my face "aww! she's embarrassed about her dil-"

"BILL SHUT IT!" I shouted flinging my empty water bottle at him making him cackle throwing his pillow at me

"IT'S BLACK!" He called and the 4 boys Burt out laughing again spluttering words and coughing at how much they were laughing

"oh my god you are all dicks!" I groaned trying to push myself as far back into my seat as I could, I even took my legs down from Tom who I could realised but I was way to embarrassed to give him a 'look'

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"he traffic isn't moving so were going to be a little later to the Kaulitz" Gregory our driver spoke facing us

"ugh" we all collectively sighed, its been over 30 minuets of just stand-still traffic, cars horns went off but nothing was moving and being a warm day in a quite packed van it was getting hot

we'd moved past the dildo conversation thanks to Tom who made a fool of himself by spilling water all down his shirt- I did wonder though, was it on purpose? to take away the attention from me... but anyways whatever it was, or even just it was an accident- my legs were back on his and he continued to draw little shapes

"I'm going to sleep" Bill spoke looking back to which we gave a nod, by we I mean me and Tom as the other two fell asleep a few minuets back, the van sound turned quiet as the radio was turned off

"wanna play a game?" Tom spoke quietly

"sure, which game?" I asked seeing a little grin appear to his face

"erm... eye spy?"

[goldenempyrean]

Nyquil After A Night Out

« Day 4: "We could've cancelled, I would've understood! »

« Pairing: Supercorp »

« Notes: Cute lil supercorp fic for everyone today :D How are we liking the co-written advent this year? Lmk! Also sorry if this is kinda unedited not really with it today :,) »

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙〘 Advent 2023 Masterlist! 〙

Lena pulled her sleek coat a little tighter around herself as she stepped out of her black car and into the bustling street as a sharp chill ran down her spine. She’d already started to notice the telltale signs she was starting to come down with something earlier in the week and truthfully Lena knew she probably should’ve slowed down a little to rest but not only had she been thoroughly swamped with work, her excitement for today’s date with Kara had kept her going.

She muffled a raspy cough into her elbow as she navigated down the streets toward

the cosy secluded restaurant where she and Kara had planned to meet. But Lena's steps were slower than usual, and she couldn't shake the feeling of fatigue settling in. Yet as she entered the warm ambiance of the restaurant and spotted Kara sitting at a corner table, she was helpless to fight back the bright smile forming on her face.

Kara looked up from the menu and her eyes immediately softened at the sight of Lena approaching the table, "Hi darling," she greeted her warmly but concern flickered across in her gaze when she noticed the unnaturally crimson flush sitting on Lena’s cheeks. "You okay?"

Lena managed a small nod, attempting to push through the weariness. "A little under the weather. I’m okay, don’t worry.” She stammered as Kara stood up to pull out her chair, thanking her kindly, “Just a little peaky.”

Truthfully Lena surprised herself a little with her own honesty but Kara always had a way of making her feel so safe in her presence that she couldn’t help but give in.

Kara’s infamous crinkle formed in her brow as she pouted a little, “We could’ve cancelled, I would’ve understood!” She exclaimed, a little too loudly causing some to glance over in their direction, “Look, I just don’t want you forcing yourself to be here if you’re not up to it. We can get dinner at a later time whenever you’re feeling better.”

“No, no. Please,” Lena began, “I want to be here Kara, I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all week, please.” She mirrored Kara’s same pout and the blonde was helpless to do anything except cave in. After-all, how could she deny that face?

Throughout their dinner the poor Luthor looked as if she was fighting to stay awake. Despite wanting to seem aware and engaged, her eyes keep dropping closed, as her dizzy head continually bobbed forwards.

Luckily their meal didn’t take long to arrive and the two delved into their food, Kara excitedly shoving the large pizza she’d order in her mouth. But as they shared their food, a little itch at the back of her sinuses caught Lena’s attention. She tried to ignore it, wanting to keep focused on their conversation. The CEO subtly rubbed her finger beneath her nose in an attempt to chase the tickle away, but ultimately she had no such luck. It only seemed to make things worse and she barely reached for a napkin in time to muffle a series of sneezes into it, her face blushing with embarrassment as she excused herself with a quiet apology.

“Bless you, hey, I think we should get you home, you look exhausted darling.” Kara purred as she sipped the last of her wine before placing her hand over Lena’s, gently using her thumb to rub small circles over her skin, “We could go back to my apartment if you’d like? I can take care of you a little.” She offered sweetly.

“But I dont- You dont- Look, you and I, we’re not even official yet.” Lena almost whispered, “I don’t want you to be put off by this.” She gestured to herself before muffling a cough into her napkin.

“Being ill, being taken care of. It’s not something I’m used.” She admitted, her eyes cast down to the table hiding from Kara’s sympathetic gaze.

But the Kryptonian only shook her head in reply, raising her hand to gently tilt Lena’s chin up so that the two locked eyes once again, “It’s okay, don’t worry. We can stop buying the store on the way home, pick you up some things that’ll help.” She smiled, taking the same hand and outstretching it to hold Lena’s, “It’ll be okay darling. We’ll figure this out together.”

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[sirenium]

I hate that there are still transmeds. Their whole ideology does nothing but hurt, and any self validation people get from this shit is very shallow and at the expense of EVERY trans person (including themselves!). I hate that there are still people who stand by such a damaging ideology, and I hate that it isn't all just a bunch of cis people. Because at its root, it's just transphobia, and trans transmeds are just transphobic. They are standing by transphobic cis people. It is a group that allows transphobic cis people to join; it gives cis transphobes an excuse to hate trans people.

I was one of many people who were hurt by this ideology. Even as I started to really identify with xenogenders, I was so worried about not being good enough as a trans person that I formed a middle ground where 'I think dysphoria is needed, but I don't police people's identities. I also think euphoria is a bigger indicator'. That was a message I sent to a server in the past. Even when I identified as 'tucute leaning' I still held on to the idea that dysphoria is at least somewhat needed to be transgender, and that isn't even the worst affect this shit has had on me.

trigger warning; Kalvin Garrah, suicide mention, t slur:

Around the time when Kalvin Garrah was big, I was starting to question my gender. I found one of his videos, and that ended up pushing me towards not realizing I was trans sooner. Luckily, though, I ended up coming out as nonbinary faster than I could've... it's just that I saw it as an alternative to being 'actually trans'. I fell back on nonbinary as a label to avoid the simple fact that I needed medical intervention for my 'nonexistent' dysphoria. As it turns out... my dysphoria was so bad, that it helped fuel my suicide attempt at 17. Regardless...

I have lingering biases towards 'tranny voice'; when first starting testosterone, I was afraid of ending up like Buck Angel for example, with his voice that didn't fit my idea of what would be a satisfactory transition outcome. I was horrified, and sometimes I still fight those thoughts as someone whose voice would be classified as 'tranny voice' as it is. Even as somebody who didn't really fall down the transmed hole, I still have struggled with views that are transmed-y. I still have scars.

I am very much someone who would have been targeted by people like Kalvin online as well, despite also being someone they would consider to be 'actually trans' in real life; online, I am the 'weird' queer, the one who uses neopronouns and is alterhuman and xenogender, whereas offline I am super stealth and dread the idea of being clocked as trans, have medically transitioned, have a 'normal' name, etc. Of course, the fact that I paint my nails would cancel all that out for some transmeds, I'm sure. It's funny too, the reason I started being more masculine is because I wasn't taken seriously, and started feeling like it's my fault because I wasn't 'putting enough effort' into things... a very transmed view.

I internalized what people said about nonbinary people, and that's what led to me thinking it was an alternative to being 'actually trans' and transitioning medically, something I surely didn't need because I 'wasn't dysphoric' in the way Kalvin, the 'actual trans person' described it, and I certainly didn't want to take resources from the real trans people. I watched people make fun of individuals who I saw myself in, and avoided acknowledging that I was really trans because of it. That's how transmedicalism harmed me.

And you know what, you don't need to have been personally harmed to see how bad transmedicalism is; take a moment to listen to trans people who have been harmed, look at how transmeds talk about being trans as something that is pure suffering and a mental illness. Listen to former transmeds who talk about how horrible transmed spaces were, and how much better they're doing now that they're in more inclusive spaces.

[xplrvibes]

some people on twitter are getting really mad at colby for apparently ‘ditching’ shea for his new girl saying shit like oh he led shea on and now he’s pushed her away lol

they’re fully acting like he’s committed an awful crime like why are they cancelling him 😭

(side note - i’m actually, whole heartedly convinced that half of the fandom genuinely hates colby and everything he does fills them with rage lmfao)

This is going to be a one and done, on this topic. I don't like Shea, don't like what she's doing. Never did like her, as you all know, because she has been an absolutely awful and manipulative bully and generally trash person over the years and I don't want her taking up too much space on my blog because of it.

But I felt the need to just put this out there before I move on, so here we go, behind a cut for anyone who doesn't want to hear it lol.

You know, I find this whole "taking Shea on her word all of a sudden" thing interesting.

According to Shea, they had a 10 year (even though he was still living in Kansas 10 years ago) "on-again, off-again thing" that was "mostly just talking" and was "never official," although it was "almost dating, but not official" for 2 years (even though there hasn't been a 2 year period where Colby hasn't been at least seeing someone, if not hooking up).

She doesn't seem to know any of his friends and not a single one of them follow her on socials - in fact, most of them unfollowed her several years back. Of particular note is the fact that Sam, after all these years of her being Colby's future wife, still hasn't followed her back...but has followed several of the other girls Colby's been linked to over the years, including M.

She never seems to have a clue about what is going on in his life and has been promising (and not delivering) fans content with Colby for years now - including her telling everyone that her and Colby were going somewhere to film a documentary in January of this year when Colby had already told everyone on xplrclub that he and Sam were going to be in Vegas or in Texas filming in all of Jan and then in Australia for most of Feb. She promised to have him on one her streams on a day when he was actually in Hawaii, then another day when he was actually in Kansas visiting family.

She hasn't been invited to a single party or group gathering of theirs since 2019, save for one time when she visited Colby and Sam in Las Vegas - which came across as very awkward, given the above.

She complained about never getting invited to snc's Halloween parties - you know, the ones that have 500-1,000 invitees and snc have claimed include an invite to every single person they know and are friends with? Yet Colby's soul mate gets left on the list somehow, 6 years running?? (One year he had four different past flings there at once. But the future Mrs. Shea Brock just didn't make the cut somehow)

Oh, bonus: she once told a gc full of her fans that Colby asked her out, but she turned him down because she valued the friendship too much. Funny how those turns tabled.

Colby meanwhile, has never hidden that he considers himself single, does not think he's met "the one," uses Raya to find dates, hooks up and has flings....he's not just pretending to be single, he IS single.

So. to recap: They have had a 10 year friendship and emotional bond that Shea deluded herself into thinking was more. Colby comes around her again after having had a cancer that could've easily rendered him unable to have children, and her grand idea is to tell this guy she freely admits she was never even dating that she wants to cash in on some vague promise he may or may not have actually made to her about getting married and having CHILDREN???

I'd have left her ass, too.

But sure. He's the bad guy. By the way, to hear Shea tell it, Colby did the same thing to her that Sam did to Kat. But all the people trashing Colby were the first ones in line to defend Sam from big bad mean Kat and her hurtful words because "he wasn't ready" and wah wah wah. Isn't that funny...and on par.

So yes, lol. Most of the people pissed about this are using any excuse put in front of them to trash Colby cause that is the only enjoyment they get out of life. Trust me when I say they are backing the wrong horse with Shea. She's not the hero victim y/n sainted good girl she pretends to be.

[simping4villains]

As requested, here’s the fourth chapter of my latest Shiggy fic, Losing Streak. I update more regularly on Wattpad and ao3, so check there for more chapters! I’m also happy to take requests so dm me if you’ve got one <3

~~~~~

Warning: Sexual content, non-con elements

   You decided to skip the rest of your classes that day. It wasn't like you could've actually focused anyway. You received a few concerned replies from your professors after your initial email letting them know you'd be absent. It wasn't like you to miss a lecture.

   You laid in bed for the rest of the afternoon. You didn't even bother getting up to turn a light on once the sun had set, instead letting your bedroom remain dimly lit by the blue light of your phone as you aimlessly scrolled through social media. It was a pathetic attempt to try and distract yourself from what you'd be doing later that night.

   No matter how many hair tutorials and life hack videos you watched, you still couldn't shake the questions that bounced around inside your head. How did those photos come into existence? How could you stop them from being spread? And, most importantly, was there a way to do it without having to fuck Shigaraki?

   You weren't sure what was worse: the thought of having sex with him or the very real possibility that you might've done it already. That was what the photos led you to believe, anyway.

   A knock sounded at your door. You didn't respond, but Hana let herself in anyway.

   "You're still in bed? You should be getting ready."

   She was right. You had to leave soon. Though it wasn't like Shigaraki struck you as the kind of guy who'd care if you put any effort into your appearance or not. He had demanded a blowjob from you while you were wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, after all.

   "The guys are going to be here soon."

   You looked up at her, confused. "The guys?"

   "Oh my god. Don't tell me you forgot?"

   "What?"

   "The party? The one we're hosting in like twenty minutes?"

   "Party? I thought it was just the two teams coming over."

   "It is, but you know how the guys can get."'

   You did, which is exactly why you hadn't wanted them in your home in the first place. At least this meant your time with Shigaraki would have a silver lining—that you would have an excuse to miss all the 'fun.'

   "I won't be around tonight," you told her.

   "What? But when I asked the other day you said you were free. What are you doing?"

   "I'm supposed to meet up with Shigaraki."

   You hoped you'd said it casually enough that she'd connect a different set of dots and think the two of you were just studying. She took the bait.

   "On a Friday night? Just cancel! We have so much time left for those stupid projects anyway."

   "I can't. It's important."

   "More important than bonding with your team? Don't you want to make captain next year?"

   You did. Hana was a year above you, and before she graduated she'd be giving the coach her recommendation for who she thought should take her place. You couldn't imagine she'd recommend anyone but you—she knew how strong your work ethic was—still, her frustration was palpable.

   You bit your cheek, wondering how lenient Shigaraki might be. "I mean, I can ask him if he's alright with rescheduling."

   "Let me know what he says," she called over her shoulder as she left, closing your door again.

   You pulled up your conversation with him on your phone.

You: "Hey, I forgot I have a team thing tonight. . ."

   His response was immediate.

Shigaraki: "Skip it."

You: "Can't we just reschedule?"

Shigaraki: "I don't like to be kept waiting."

You: "What's one more day?"

Shigaraki: "What's 5,000 people seeing your tits?"

You: "Fine."

Shigaraki: "Don't be late."

   You wanted to push back and write 'Or what?' but you worried he'd take it as a challenge to make your night hell. So instead, you rolled out of bed, grabbed your bag, and headed downstairs. Hana, Akiko, and your other roommate, Jin, were all in the living room, dressed in their usual party attire of ripped jeans and crop tops. They were pulling out packages of red solo cups and setting up a beer pong table.

   "That doesn't look like a party outfit," Jin joked as she saw you.

   You hadn't bothered changing or anything. You were still in the same hoodie and sweatpants you'd thrown on in a rush that morning.

   Hana looked up at you and frowned. "I'm guessing this means you couldn't get out of it?"

   You nodded.

   "Wait, what?" Akiko asked, looking between the two of you. "Are you skipping out on tonight?"

   "Yeah, sorry."

   Hana turned to her. "She's ditching us for a boy."

   Akiko gasped. "No way! Y/n never dates! Who is it?"

   You rolled your eyes. "It's not like that at all."

   "It's Shigaraki," Hana said.

   Akiko's expression fell, going from excited to horrified in seconds.

   "We're just doing homework," you assured her. "It's not like I want to hang out with him."

   Hana shrugged. "Then don't."

   "Come on, cut her some slack," Jin said. "You know how she is about grades. Besides, I'm sure she already feels bad enough just missing out on the party."

   Honestly, you were glad to miss the party, and you had a feeling that Jin could tell, but you appreciated her sticking up for you nonetheless.

   "Well, there's always the next one," Hana conceded. "Don't work too hard."

   "Thanks," you smiled. "Have fun tonight. Tell the team I said 'hey.'"

   "Will do," she smiled back.

   They waved you off and you began your funeral march across campus. You shrugged against the chill of the air, once again having forgotten to grab your jacket on your way out of the house. At least earlier the sun had been out to help a bit, but it had set hours ago. You hated how short the days were in the fall.

   The address Shigaraki had given you was for an apartment building kind of down the block from the pub you'd stopped at the night before. You were a bit worried you wouldn't make it in time, but you knocked on his door with seven minutes to spare. To your surprise, he wasn't the one to answer. It was another boy with acne-scarred skin and spiky pink hair that pointed every which way.

   "Oh, sorry. I think I must have the wrong address."

   He looked at you with disbelief. "Are you Y/n?"

   "Yes."

   "Shiggs, she's here!" He called over his shoulder before stepping aside and gesturing for you to come in. Hesitantly, you did. "He's gaming, but you can just go in. His room is down there on the right." He pointed toward the end of the hallway.

   "Thanks."

   You followed his directions to Shigaraki's door. No response came when you knocked. Feeling uncertain, you looked back at the other boy to find him nodding and gesturing for you to go in.

   Taking a deep breath to collect yourself, you turned the knob. Immediately, you were met with a distinct smell—it was that of a typical college boy's dorm, only ten times worse. The air in the room felt incredibly stale and almost muggy. Shigaraki didn't look up when you came in. Like the other boy had said, he was busy gaming.

   "Hey," you greeted, shutting the door behind you.

   "Hey," he mumbled in response, not bothering to peel his eyes from the screen. "Gonna be a sec."

   You frowned. It pissed you off that he'd made such a fuss about you being on time, but here he was making you wait around. You threw your bag down and moved to stand next to him, crossing your arms over your chest. "You know you picked the time I was supposed to get here, right?"

   "I wasn't sure you'd actually show."

   You scoffed. "As if you gave me a choice."

   "Just have a seat. I'm almost done."

   You looked around the room for a spot to sit while you waited for him to finish. The only source of light was his computer screen, but even that was enough for you to be able to tell that his bedroom was an absolute mess. There were empty cans and piles of dirty clothes strewn about. Not only was his bed unmade, but it didn't even seem to have a sheet on it from what you could tell. Unless you felt like clearing a spot on the floor, there was nowhere to sit.

   "Uh, do you have an extra chair?"

   He didn't answer, just wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into his lap. You yelped as you crashed into him.

   "Relax. You're fine. No need to be so dramatic."

   "This isn't what I meant when I asked for a chair, you know."

   "Yeah, I know," He replied casually, resting his head on your shoulder so that he could see the screen. "But isn't this more comfortable?"

   "No, it's not," you insisted, shifting to keep his knees from jabbing into your thighs.

   His breath hitched. "Mm maybe don't move around too much."

   You froze, panicking as you realized that it you could feel his cock getting harder beneath you.

   He couldn't help but smirk when he felt you stiffen. He loved getting to watch you squirm when you were uncomfortable. It was cute seeing you all flustered. To add to it, he leaned in and whispered, "Unless you're trying to start something. Which, in that case. . ."

   Pausing his game, he snaked one of his hands underneath your sweatshirt. When he reached your chest he snorted. "No bra? Damn, you really did want this, huh?"

   "No, I didn't!" you snapped. "I was just in a rush."

   The first time. Why hadn't you put one on before leaving that night though? You'd had all day. Maybe you figured there was no point. Deep down, you knew where the night was headed.

   He started kneading your chest. "This whole time I thought you were some uptight bitch, but really you love being treated like a little slut."

   "No, I do—ah!"

   He pinched one of your nipples.

   "Oh, you liked that?"

   You did, but you would absolutely never admit that to him. You shook your head.

   "Really? I don't believe you."

   He started rolling the sensitive bud between the tips of his fingers. You bit your tongue, trying to choke back a moan.

   "Come on, no need to hold back for me."

   His other hand reached up to your jaw, gripping it in a way that forced it open. You couldn't help the breathy moan that escaped as his fingers kept working your chest.

   He snickered. "I knew it."

   You hated him so much, but not as much as you hated your own body for actually enjoying what he was doing to you. Despite how much you tried to fight it, heat was quickly building between your legs as if you really did want him to be touching you like that. You couldn't let him think he was right about you.

   He shifted his legs so that one of them was wedged between yours. You knew what he wanted you to do before he even said it. "Ride."

   "W-What? No!"

   He yanked your head back by your hair so that he spoke directly in your ear. "I'm sorry, did it sound like a request? Fucking do it."

   Timidly, you rocked your hips. You couldn't stand the way your body welcomed the friction, taking pleasure in it.

   "Don't stop until you come," he said.

   It was meant to be humiliating. He wanted to break you down and make you feel worthless. So then why were you enjoying it so much? Each time your clothed cunt dragged against him felt like ecstasy—like your body was being given exactly what it needed.

   "That's it," he encouraged as another moan escaped you.

   His mouth found its way to your neck. The rough friction of his lips caused you to shiver. Of course, it didn't go unnoticed by Shigaraki. You could feel him smirking against your skin before he latched onto you, sucking a bruise just above your collar bone. He let go with a 'pop' and pulled away to admire his work, humming in satisfaction.

   "I'm going to mark you up so that everyone knows you're mine."

   "I'm n-not," you protested weakly, barely able to get the words past another moan.

   He only laughed at you. "Are you joking? Look at the way you're falling apart on my thigh. Are you telling me that you act like this for just anyone?"

   The truth was, he was right. The sex you'd had in the past was pretty vanilla. You wouldn't normally be taking orders and humiliating yourself the way you were now, and you'd never been this close to coming with someone else—So. Fucking. Close.—but it's not like it was because of him. You were the one doing all of the work, after all.

   "I asked you a question," he growled, grabbing your hair in a threat to pull again.

   "I—ngh—" You were seconds away from coming undone. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to pretend you were anywhere but in Shigaraki's bedroom, using him to get off.

   "Oh my god. Are you coming?" He asked, suddenly excited. "Are you actually fucking coming right now?"

   "Shut up."

   Even with your eyes closed, you could tell he didn't like that response. He grabbed your jaw, prying it open so he could shove his fingers in your mouth. You weren't sure if he wanted you to suck on them or if he just wanted to teach you a lesson for talking back, but either way, you bit them as you came. Surprisingly, he didn't complain.

   Before you had a chance to come back to earth, he told you to turn around. You didn't want to, but obeyed. He shifted so that you were straddling him. In this position, you could feel how hard he was. It made your stomach churn anxiously as you wondered how he'd make you deal with that.

   He moved his hand between the two of you, reaching to slide it under the waistband of your sweatpants. Your immediate reaction was to try to stop him. You grabbed his wrist, which only earned you a warning glare.

   You had to play by his rules if you wanted to save your reputation.

   You let go, feeling even more nauseous than before as his spindly fingers dipped under your panties, coming into contact with your clit. You drew in a sharp breath. You were still so sensitive.

   You hated the grin that spread across his face. "You really are a slut after all, huh? You're fucking soaked."

   You couldn't even respond because you were too busy proving his point, moaning as his fingers explored your folds, curling inside of you. Your hands found their way to his hair, lightly tugging as if begging for more. God, you'd never hated yourself so much in your life.

   His eyes watched your every reaction as his fingers explored deeper, dragging over that spot that made your brows knit together each time he pulled them out. He'd never really thought about kissing anyone until he met you—until you fell so perfectly into his lap. And here you were now, practically writhing from his every touch, not daring to refuse him. So why was he so nervous?

   You tugged at his hair again—god, he loved when you did that—and he decided that it meant you were trying to pull him closer. It meant that you wanted him. So, he closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss you.

   It was sloppy. He didn't really know what he was doing and you didn't seem particularly interested in kissing back. He decided you were probably too distracted by what his hands were doing to actually try. He'd started hitting that spot your liked more aggressively. He wanted to be the one to make you come, to watch as you unraveled at his touch, and he could tell it was working. He kissed you deeper as he felt your walls starting to clench, happily swallowing your moans as they entered his mouth. For a moment it felt like maybe you had kissed him back, but he could have been imagining it.

   He pulled away so he could look at you. Your eyes were still closed and your breathing was heavy. A sense of pride bubbled in his chest knowing he'd actually managed to make you feel good.

   Maybe he wasn't such a hopeless virgin after all.

   You opened your eyes again to find him staring at you with wonder, like you were the most incredible thing he'd ever seen. Like you were something to be had. You were worried he was going to try to kiss you again, but instead he opened his mouth, tugged at your waistband, and said the last thing you wanted to hear.

   "Take these off so I can fuck you already."