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uraandri · 2 years

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i was a woman in stem since elementary school cause i remember our religious education teacher telling us how when you boil the first red egg for easter in holy water, it will remain unchanged even a year later, or more precisly, he told us it wouldn’t have a bad smell or any changes in texture if you were to crack it, so when good friday came around i made my mother boil all of the red eggs in holy water, and on the next good friday, so exactly a year later i cracked the eggs (we kept 3 red eggs (the first one was marked with х.в. se we knew exactly which egg it was) and 2 green ones that were not boiled in holy water) and they all smelled so bad i got yelled at for stinking up the house

#i cracked them one by one #starting with the marked egg #and it started stinking whithin first 10 seconds #and then i cracked all other ones at the same time and just left them on the kitchen table lmao #i was a menace with my little experiments #my mother was often the unwilling participant and assistant #she forgot about it so when i left them in the kitchen she didn't know what i was doing #so the smell was like a propper stink bomb #she just opened the door and gagged and i herd her yell my name #also this was before i stopped beleiving in god #idk if this influenced me because i thought it was unplausable even tho i believed in god #i knew that things had to rot either way and that perserving them took more than just holy water #but i did not like the fact that the priest lied to us #ura.txt

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hinata-boke · 5 months

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why is his smile so radiant

#my art #one piece #luffy #nami #zoro #OKAY JUST ONE MORE OP ART (FOR NOW)#original is from nichijou chapter 177 #i thought it fit them well #zoros deranged smile always cracks me up when it appears

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payasita · 1 year

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being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

#personal #text #gonna miss these kids lol #theres more i cant remember rn but i swear to god some of them do it just to make me crack up when im the only one in charge #infinite sentences kid and bro what the fuck kid are the same kid #he could not give less of a shit about this job it's so fucking funny

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illusioncanthurtme--art · 6 days

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Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!

(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)

#HEALED FIDDLEFORD HAS ME BOUNCING OFF THE FUCKING WALLS!!!!!!! GIVE THE MAN A BRIGHT HAPPY FUTURE!!! FUCK!!!!!#I don't know how i'm coming off right now #when i say that i've been super manic about them for the past week I really mean it #guys Idk but I think I might be fiddlestans number one fan #I liked this pairing before book of bill and after reading it it only solidified things #IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN A CRACK SHIP TO ME!!!!!!!!#fiddlestan #gravity falls #anyway this is supposed to be them the next summer #stan is working the shack to tutor soos for tourist season #fiddleford has changed while the twins were on the stan o war #STAN DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL AT FIRST and they have a lot of shit to work through from their past before they can start making out dksjds #sketchbook #traditional art #pencil drawing #traditional drawing #stanley pines #fiddleford mcgucket #gravity falls fanart

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crystallizsch · 2 months

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do you shake the tweels to make them glow or do you crack them like a glowstick

thank you @comedydoctor18 😭

#one of the only times i ever draw the twins #and it's not even serious #and it’s a quick one #if i find an excuse i’ll draw them properly #i know that’s not how bioluminescence works LMAO #it’s just a really funny concept that cracked me up 😭#[—✦-#-✧ my art #twst art #twst #twisted wonderland #jade leech #floyd leech #-✦—]#we ignore this hard pivot from my previous posts #you didnt see anything

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spark-river · 1 month

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MC: Why are angels dressed sluttier than Asmo?

Simeon: Wha-?

Solomon: nudity was a form of purity too and in the end it's just a body.

Asmodeus: Michael definitely was the one to tell you that. He has his tits out.

Simeon: He doesn't?!

#This is cued to post in a week.#Didn't manage to make it funny but I like to imagine the horror on Simeon's face.#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me mc #om mc #omswd mc #obey me asmodeus #om asmodeus #omswd asmodeus #obey me simeon #om simeon #omswd simeon #obey me solomon #om solomon #omswd solomon #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me crack

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ninyard · 4 months

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fox tweets (pt.2)

#sorry the relationship I’ve created between Kevin and Allison in my head is fantastic #I love them #just laughing at my own jokes over here once again guys #I don’t know why I’m cracked up so bad at the last one it’s really not that good #but just the idea of it has me cackling #Neil josten #kevin day #Dan wilds #Renee walker #Allison Reynolds #Nicky hemmick #andrew minyard #Aaron minyard #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #jeremy Knox #mine

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ninjasmudge · 2 months

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maid au design doodles bc this au is all i think about. lamb keeps skipping maid classes to go bother goat at work and then they go cause a ruckus in the city

og goat design by @purrpurra !

#the one in the 3rd pic is lambs earlier design and the 4th pic is after they leave for a bit and come back #goats a mechanic shes hot i love them #the styles change cause these were weeks apart #cult of the lamb #cotl #cotl lamb #cotl goat #cotl narinder #my art #cotl the lamb #cotl the goat #crack maid au #narilamb #narigoatlamb #narilambgoat #oreo poly

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fizpup · 2 months

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resemblance (lol)

#my little pony #mlp g4 #zecora #queen chrysalis #chrysalcora #drew this over a year ago when my friend propegated her monstera and potted it for me #she said they were so hard to kill that even I would be able to keep it alive #and she was right! it's sitting happily by my window as we speak :)#(even if i forget it exists for months at a time)#anyway this is still my favorite crack ship. I would draw them more but one of them is much easier to draw than the other smh

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lesbiamano · 6 months

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FINEEE i'll draw your stupid greek mythology people

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hes-sunshine-im-midnight-rain · 6 months

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Which one's your favorite flavor?

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tsukii0002 · 6 months

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Lucifer: That is not how things work Mc...

Mc: Why not??!!

Lucifer: *sighs* I'm not going to consume your soul for something like this...

Mc: But demons always accept anything in exchange for a soul!!!

Lucifer: At this point Mc? You know us, we don't do those things... How desperate you are?

Mc: Please Luci!!! *almost crying* Let me make a deal with the devil (you).

Lucifer: For the last time Mc, I will not accept your soul in exchange for doing your thesis.

Mc: Luciiiii pleaseeeeee!!!!

.

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choccy-milky · 18 days

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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )

#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO #so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x oc #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian x mc #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #sebastian sallow fanfiction #hphl #choccyart #also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING #THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD #i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste #esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: “Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖

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darkmuffinstudios · 11 hours

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HAD THE MOST INSANE DREAM JUST NOW AND THESE TWO WERE IN IT AND I WAS JUST LIKE JSVFIJVFSJIVFSIKVSFIKSFV STEALING YOU GUYS

LIKE I LITERSLLY ROLLED OUT OF BED AND GRABBED MY TABLET AND SCRIBBLED THESE GUYS BEFORE I FORGOT

SO SO SO! THE IDEA IS THAT SOMETHING SOMETHING WHEN PPL DIE, THEY GET THESE HALOS ON THEIR HEADS WHICH TIE THEM TO THE LIVING WORLD AS A SORT OF LIKE “THEY CANT MOVE ON” SORT OF THING

AND WHEN KILLER GETS KILLED, HE HAS SO MANY DIFFERENT REGRETS AND SO MANY DIFFERENT WANTS THAT HIS SOUL ESSENTIALLY SPLITS INTO TWO—. UT THEYRE STILL VERY MUCH CONNECTED? LIKE THEY ARE DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF HIM BUT NEITHER CAN MOVE ON UNTIL THE OTHER IS SATIATED AND EISJCNDJSKCSKCMDLD

GOD THESE TWO ARE SO BADASS DISJCJCJC MY OWN BRAINROT IS GOING NUTS

MAYBE MORE TO COME SOON OK BYEEEEE