#i create separate blogs for each hobby e.g art

[uqb]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i have been going thru all my tumblr blogs & trying to remember the logins for them akakakakakakaaaa it would be great if some of blogs were my sideblogs on this account but then idk man...

[hd-learns-korean]

MUSICAL MONDAYS WEEK 2!

Happy Monday everyone! I hope you all had a beautiful weekend and are all well rested.

It's that time of the week where I'm back with another study post! Whoop whoop.

The song this week absolutely slaps! I can't stop singing it. @tell-tale-taeil Thank you so much for recommending this for my Musical Monday's. Your taste in music is 10/10!

Song: Boat 보트

Artist: George 죠지

My thoughts on the song: If you're looking for a fun and light hearted little number I strongly recommend this. I can't stop singing the lyrics. The other day I was making a cup of tea, and out of nowhere I scream sung 'I'M ON A BOAT' much to the surprise of my mum, who rightly looked at me with concern. Sorry mum. The lyrics are stuck in my head and need an outlet. Great song. Go give it a listen when you have a few moments to spare. I warn you though, you will end up shouting "I'm on a boat" at random and sporadic moments throughout the day after hearing this! 😄

Notes: As I am still not 100% fluent in Korean, my study sentences are for me to practise writing in Korean. So there might be a few mistakes. If you spot any or a better way to translate a sentence, please let me know so I can correct it!

Translation Notes: I have included a mixture of my own sample sentences, Papago translation and Naver Dictionary. Where sentences are not my own I have labelled them.

Let's get this study show on the road!

VOCABULARY:

사방에 on every side/ on all sides/ all around/ everywhere

산지사방 all directions (Naver) Can also mean ‘Mountainous area’

사방에서 from every direction

사방에 벌들이 날고 있었어요! Bees were flying everywhere! (Nuance: Surrounded by bees on all sides)

사방을 살펴보다 look all around (Naver)

새 카페들이 사방에 생겨나고 있죠? New cafes are popping up everywhere, right?

사방을 살피다 Keep a sharp lookout (Naver)

산지사방으로 흩어지다 scatter/ be dispersed in all directions (Naver) (Scatter all over the country)

사방으로 싸다니다 bustle in and out/ hang about (Naver)

사방으로 비산하다 fly in all directions (Naver)

벌들은 사방으로 비산해고 있어요! Bees are flying everywhere!

새들은 사방으로 비산했어요. The birds scattered in all directions.

올리다 raise/ lift up/ achieve/ gain

Present Tense: 올려요

Past Tense: 올렸어요

Future Tense: 올릴 거예요

Nominal: 올림

Contrast: 올리지만

이자율을 올리다 raise/ drive up the interest rates (Naver)

기름 값을 올리다 raise the gas rates

이번년에서 가스회사는 기름값을 30%로 올렸어요. This year, the gas company raised the price of oil by 30%. (Mine + Papago)

저는 연간 3천만 원의 소득을 올리고 싶어요. I want to make a yearly profit of 30 million won a year. (Roughly £18,738.69) I want to earn 30 million won a year.

오른팔을 올릴 때 아픈가요? Does it hurt when you raise your right arm?

쏘아 올리다 launch/ shoot up/ send off (Naver)

로켓을 쏘아 올리다 Launch a rocket (Naver)

선취 득점을 올리다 score the first point on a game/ get on the score board first (Naver)

블로그에 글을 올리다 write on a blog (Naver) Post something on a blog.

오늘은 뮤지컬 월요에 대한 글을 블로그에 올리려고 해요. Today, I am going to blog about musical Mondays.//Today, I'm going to post a blog about musical Mondays.

페널티킥으로 득점을 올리다 score on a penalty kick (Naver)

머리를 올리다 put one’s hair up (Naver)

멀어지다 recede/ die away/ drift apart/ grow apart

Present Tense: 멀어져요

Past Tense: 멀어졌어요

Future Tense: 멀어질 거예요

Contrast: 멀어지지만

사이가 서로 멀어지다 Become estranged from each other

윤아 씨는 친구들과 사이가 멀어졌어요. Yoona has become estranged from her friends.

원하다 want/ wish/ hope/ desire

Present Tense: 원해요

Past Tense: 원했어요

Future Tense: 원할 거예요

Contrast: 원하지만

미나는 미래에 파리 미대에서 공부하기를 원해요. Mina wants to study at the Paris Academy of Fine Arts in the future. Mina hopes to study at the Paris Academy of Fine arts in the future.

다 사람들은 많이 돈을 원해요. Everyone wants a lot of money.

저는 천체물리학자가 되기를 원했어요. I wanted to be an astrophysicist.

탐욕스럽게 명예를 원하다 to be greedy/ hungry for fame/ honour. (Naver)

한심하다 pathetic/ pitiful

Present Tense: 한심해요

Past Tense: 한심했어요

Future Tense: 한심할 거예요 // 한심할 것이에요

Nominal: 한심함

한심하기 짝이 없다 To be extremely deplorable (Naver)

넌 한심하지 마! Don’t be pathetic!

다르다 different from/ different to

Present Tense: 달라요

Past Tense: 달랐어요

Future Tense: 다를 거예요

Contrast: 다르지만

질적으로 다르다 to differ in quality (Naver)

거리에 따라 다르다 vary with distance (Naver)

차원이 다르다 be entirely different/ belong to a different level (Naver)

생각이 다르다 have a different way of thinking (Naver)

취미가 서로 다르다 have quite different tastes (Naver)

내 친구와 나는 취미가 서로 달라요. My friend and I have different hobbies.

하루가 다르다 change from one day to the next/ rapidly change (Naver)

그는 기분이 하루가 달라요. His mood changes from one day to the next.

Another way to say this is: 그의 기분은 하루하루 변한다.

날씨는 하루가 다르다. The weather is different from day to day.

앞뒤가 다르다 to be inconstant/ to not add up. (Lit: One’s front and back are different)

���들의 이야기는 앞뒤가 달라요. 거짓말인 것 같아요. Their stories are different. I think it’s a lie.

정돈하다 tidy up/ straighten up/ arrange/ clear/ put sth in order

Present Tense: 정돈해요

Past Tense: 정돈했어요

Future Tense: 정돈할 거예요

오늘은 저의 집을 정돈했어요. I cleaned my house today. Lit: I put my house in order today. E.g I tidied my house today.

저의 주위를 정돈할 필요가 있어요. I need to organize my surroundings.

창고에 장비들이 잘 못 정돈되어 있었어요. The equipment was not well organized in the warehouse. (Modified Naver)

뜻밖의 unexpected/ unanticipated

저는 뜻밖의 희소식을 듣고 싶어요! I want to hear some unexpected good news!

어제밤에 우리는 뜻밖의 희소식을 들었어요! Last night we heard some unexpected good news! Last night we got some unexpected good news!

뜻밖의 손님이 들어왔는 것 같아요. I think we have an unexpected guest.

It seems that an unexpected guest has arrived.

뜻밖 unexpectedness/ a surprise

향하다 look/ face/ head towards

Present Tense: 향해요

Past Tense: 향했어요

Future Tense: 향할 거예요

Contrast: 향하지만

창문은 남쪽을 향해 나 있다 The window faces/ looks south. (Naver Example)

배는 바다를 향해 나아갔다 The boat headed out to sea. (Naver Example)

어선는 대서양를 향해 나아갔어요. The fishing boat headed for the Atlantic Ocean.

미나와 그녀의 가족은 도쿄을 향해 출발했어요. Mina and her family set off for Tokyo. Mina and her family departed for Tokyo.

내의 침실 창문은 숲을 향해 있어요. My bedroom window faces the forest.

마음이 고향을 향하다 To yearn for home. (Naver) Literally: My heart is heading towards my hometown.

우려하다 concern/ worry/ fear/ worry about/ fear that

Present Tense: 우려해요

Past Tense: 우려했어요

Future Tense: 우려할 거예요

많이 사람들은 경제 위기를 우려해요. Many people are concerned about the economic crisis.

우려 Concern

우려를 표명하다 Express concern over (Naver)

우려할 만한 worrying/ alarming/ serious (Naver)

Miscellaneous things I found interesting in this song!

회치다 slice raw fish/ prepared slice raw fish

회(를) 치다 prepare a raw fish dish

회 Sashimi

참치회 slices of raw tuna

모듬회 a plate of assorted raw fish

이 맥주는 회에 잘 어울리다. This beer goes well with sashimi.

GRAMMAR:

The grammar point that I have chosen from this song is an interesting one because it combines 2 grammar points into one.

ㄹ 수도 있지만: ...may happen, but....

The first grammar point in this is:

(을) ㄹ 수도 있다 – Talking about possibilities. May/ Might

It is a mixture of 을/ㄹ 수 있다 = Can/ expressing ability to do something and 도 meaning 'also'. When combined it means ‘Can also…’ = May or might.

The second grammar point is:

지만 – Even though/ but/ however

Shows a contrast between the two clauses.

Can also be used to connect two clauses together.

I will be creating separate grammar posts for each of these points listed above, otherwise this post will get real long!

When (을) ㄹ 수도 있다 and 지만 are combined it gives the impression of '....may happen but…'

Examples from the song:

큰 파도가 날 덮칠 수도 있지만A big wave might hit me,

뜻밖의 사과가 날 수도 있지만 There may be an unexpected apology/ accident.

There we go everyone! Study list complete! I hope you enjoyed studying with Musical Mondays, and that you liked listening to this amazing song too!

As always everyone,

Stay safe, have a beautiful day, and happy studying! x

Sources: Naver dictionary, Papago translation, Verbix.com, Unsplash.com.

[notbecauseofvictories]

oh I'm interested in the tag novel on how fan spaces becoming more meat spacey benefits the producers!! also happy Halloween! 🖤🧡🖤🧡

It’s not a particularly academic argument---I don’t have sources to back this up, I haven’t done research. I’m also wary of painting a picture of “fandom” as anything more than a lot of weasels in a trenchcoat, because that word means a lot of things to a lot of different people, some of whom hate each other. But as long as everybody understands that this is the ethnographical equivalent of drunkenly throwing darts at a copy of the AJS...sure.

[under a cut because it’s long and baseless, and also I had a lot of thoughts and feelings. Sorry.]

My basic premise is that fandom occupies “fanspace.” Fanspace is not solely online, since fanzines and conventions are fanspace too, but since the 90s it has become increasingly and primarily internet based. While some websites are designated fanspace (e.g., AO3, ff.net, stand-alone fansites) fanspace is not necessarily contiguous with a hosting site (e.g., there is fanspace on tumblr, but tumblr is not a fanspace). Fanspace is really just those urls, message boards, threads, blogs, accounts, etc. designated for fandom and/or where fannish activity takes place.

Its deeply-rooted internet presence has allowed fanspace and what I call “meatspace” to operate on different rules. Meatspace has always informed fan spaces, of course---disclaimers on fic to ward off accusations of copyright infringement, for example, or asking readers to attest that they’re over 13 before reading an R-rated fic. But traditionally, fandom has accepted as norm things that don’t apply to meatspace: fake names and anonymous posts, pictures of someone else’s characters, lengthy self-published stories featuring violence, explicit sex, sometimes even gay people. Fanspace is in many ways an artificial carve out from meatspace, where fewer of its rules apply; fanspace supplements these with its own norms.

The division between fanspace and meatspace is not and has never been a clear, settled line, however. Debates on how much meatspace should inform fan spaces have been raging for as long as I’ve been on the internet, and to be fair to meatspace, it has made good points. (I’m not sure if “don’t be racist,” counts as a meatspace rule given...racism, but fandom frequently reacts to it like a meatspace intrusion so I think it should count.)

However, what used to be intra-fandom conversations have become increasingly more public, for a few reasons:

Part of this is just the natural development of the internet---it’s not like fanspace was ever hidden, but there just weren’t as many people online, and stuff was harder to find in a pre-google, pre-algorithmic promotion world.

Part of it is the changing architecture of fanspace---websites shutting down, Strikethrough, and the tumblr porn ban have all, in their own ways, served to alter fanspace and move towards more and more public-facing sites.

But part of it---and this is the biggest factor, I think---is that over the last two decades, we’ve seen content-producers** increasingly willing to engage with fandom. 

On its face, this sounds good! After all, fans like people who make things, people who make things want fans. What could possibly be wrong about both sides recognizing their mutualism?

I think this works when the most interaction you could expect with a creator was showing up a bookstore to ask Tamora Pierce a question, or writing fanmail to Paul Gross. But it falls apart when you consider just how public-facing fanspaces have become, and just how much interest content-producers have taken in cultivating the fannish audience. Content-producers engaging directly with fandom are a thumb on the scales of mutualism, and a heavy one. After all, one side of the relationship is a loosely collected anarchic cult, migrating along a series of websites they mostly don’t control, making do with nothing but ongoing wank and general obsessive tendencies. 

The other side has D*sney, Harper Collins, and Comcast.

That thumb on the scale has paid off, more than I think even the content-producers could have anticipated. Fandom is good at loving what it loves and talking loudly about it, but capitalism is way better at doing what it does---turning everything into profit. So now people pay $100 a pop to go to Harry Potter World. Conventions are well-produced extensions of their parent companies, raking in money and providing a blitz of publicity---directly to the source most likely to take your messaging and amplify it. Make a superhero movie and the minute the trailer drops you conjure up thousands of online fans will be your de facto, unpaid publicists---generating interest via fan art, fic, and controversy with minimal corporate effort.  Of course fic writers who have established online presence are the darlings of the publishing world---what publisher wouldn’t want a built-in hype machine for a new author? 

And, just coincidentally, of course, fanspace and meatspace are drawn closer together, that line further blurred by this new and very, very interested third party.

I’m not saying this is some big conspiracy. No tv exec is out there rubbing their hands together and cackling evilly about how they’re going ruin fandom. But in exchange for meatspace validation and an endless stream of new content, I think fandom has ceded important ground. And I think it’s changing fanspaces, even now:

One of the founding rules of fanspace is that it does not generate money---you risk real copyright infringement that way. (This isn’t to say that money hasn’t been involved in a few massive fandom scandals, but it’s not typical.) Increasingly, however, the grumblings about getting paid for fan art and fic have gotten louder, probably due to meatspace’s general emphasis on the side-hustle, and seeing content-producers churn out more and more fan-like things for a profit.

(It seems unimaginable now, but once upon a time the HP Lexicon was an invaluable resource, a rare unicorn in a pre-wikipedia age. Now, D*sney wouldn’t even think of releasing a tentpole movie without a novelization, a picture dictionary, and a tie-in novel.)

Also, those calls for fan art that “might be featured” by a content-producer are (rightfully) scorned for asking for work pro bono. But the takeaway seems to be “we deserve to be paid for our fan art!” rather than “how dare the content-producer intrude on our fanspace and its activities!”

Fanspaces have never expected or required legal ID, permitting anonymous or pseudonymous activity in order to protect individual privacy. And while there’s still no expectation you link your legal ID with your online/fan ID, the norm has shifted---it’s no longer considered gauche to go by your legal ID, even necessary when turning mutuals and followers into an “audience.” We’re not anonymous fans, engaged in our mutual hobby anymore---some people are doing that, and others are potential content-creators.

I’d argue that even purity wank if an example of this new blurring, classic “don’t like don’t read” arguments taking on new life now that meatspace is so nearby---we wouldn’t want to offend the neighbors!

Even these things benefit the content-producers: the more fan-like stuff they churn out, the less fanspaces will create on their own; the more fanspaces that emphasize linking legal ID to online ID, the less people will be able to engage in fan activities privately; the more meatspace rules assert themselves on fanspaces, the less fanspace we’ll have.

Now, maybe this is just...evolution. As I said before, there is a porous and shifting border between fanspace and meatspace. I remember angry threads about whether m/m fics should be rated higher than a het equivalent; I remember the tagging debates, the incredible resistance to accurately describing what happens in your fic. Maybe in a few years, my longing to return to a more separate fanspace will seem equally as embarrassing, incorrect, and unnecessary. 

But right now, it feels more like an erosion---one fandom is about as willing or able to resist as the tide.

.

** “Content maker” is a term that’s come to mean “anyone who makes something” which is sheer nonsense. There’s a difference between publishers/television producers/movie studios and someone recording a podcast in their bathroom. There’s even a difference between D*sney, a vast undead creative monopoly animated by copyright protections, and someone like James Patterson, who uses a stable of ghostwriters to churn out “his” works. We shouldn’t be scrutinizing all these things them the same way, it’s lazy, and intellectually dishonest.

[astrology-with-charu]

Aquarius Season Focus & Source Of Our Next Growth Cycle - For each sign

This Aquarius season (20.1-19.2) with the 24 January New Moon, we are sowing seeds for next 20 years of material gains through the Aquarius part of our chart as the Saturn Jupiter will start new 20 year cycle of our material growth in December 2020 in Aquarius as well. A new age will start of gainfulness & prominence of Aquarius nature! Now this season we take a few bold steps towards it! Walk surely & uniquely towards abundance.

(FYI I am typing this on my very shattered iPad screen & it was in cover when it fell - take care of your devices during this week)

Check where Aquarius sits in your birth chart that’s where you would be initiating in a new bold way & that’s what you would be leveraging to create next 20 year of growth cycle & gainfulness starting December 2020. This year with Saturn briefly touching this area of your life between 21 May-1 Jul you would find initial foundations being laid down. This season you will see yourself planting seeds in this direction.

Link to overview video - https://youtu.be/-F-O2hGFE1g

Check for your rising / sun / moon sign your suggested paths to abundance & social contribution -

Bookmark this article here for future reference

http://emailabuddy.com/blog/?p=875

#Aries - Network, Being an influencer, having a tribe of people working together towards a common cause of humanitarian, social & economic impact, being the nerve center of an influential network, your ability to bring people together in an inspiring way for a common worthy cause, public events or a platform launch or spreading innovative thoughts ideas to a common set of like minded people through a platform that leverages on high tech, AI, big data etc, big wealth through stand alone businesses where you leverage online presence to create a network or bring together talented people in some ways, bringing a great idea or innovation to the world which helps socially & brings gains to you, unique vision & dream which comes suddenly & progresses suddenly like something unlocks after thinking through for a while, friends / elder brother/ sibling / mentor / spouse’s children / nieces / nephews working & supporting in some ways in your unique vision of the world where you contribute significantly to the society

#Taurus - Career in innovation, new progressive technical fields, network head or distribution head or using your networking skills to lead, your career position or title & style of leadership, being a mentor / coach / inspiring head of a firm or group who brings people together through social ideals, Career growth by playing an important social role through your position, sudden opportunities & shifts, rebel against old form of authority or structure of doing business leading to new unique career path, following through on your ideals using your position, professing through career groups or leadership groups, creating a unique reputation & place in the world, unique style of parenthood, progressive parent, being like a friend or father figure as a leader, fame as a leader or General popularity in your profession

#Gemini - Media, publishing, travel, connecting people sharing higher progressive knowledge, always growing expanding learning, education, using technology or recent progressive innovations in education or publications of impact, promoting diversity, shift in religion & belief system - spreading higher knowledge of a religion or belief system, sharing your higher mind, traveling globally to spread information or for a humanitarian cause working with multi cultural multi national teams or networks or using technology to reach out globally, being mentor or getting Teachers & mentors together to enhance awareness, practical progressive philosophy - speaking your radical progressive thoughts & ideals challenging old thinking changing it in gainful manner, making information knowledge globally available rather than being property of a few elite

#Cancer - merging talents & resources to be more, financial mergers, sexual freedom, creating innovative ways of healing, unique ways of handling crisis, learning to handle your upheavals practically objectively through your spiritual awakening & using that to heal others, for social humanitarian benefit, using your depth or loss or fears or addictions or shadow side as your power or learnings - channeling the same into research, solutions, healing, occult topics, metaphysics, astrology that benefits others, psychology, knowledge & objective understanding of death, breaking free from outdated patterns or addictions blocking your power, money from other sources -debt /taxation /insurance /spouse’s money /inheritance. Getting sponsorship or loans for unique ventures possibly involving sexuality / spirituality / metaphysics / oil industry / investment / finance. Death of old self & rebirth of a powerful phenomenon which comes suddenly & swiftly and changes everything!

#Leo - marriage, partnership, client management, mentoring, organising events culturally, socially or for humanitarian causes, coaching, counselling, having an audience, group shows, group contracts, working in partnership with like minded, creative, progressive people with unique ideas & technically adept who are preferably your friends or your spouse or cohabitating with you, doing events to promote creative progressive ideas, your ability to handle & connect with others intellectually while staying emotionally separate or while staying objective, keeping personal emotions a bit at bay when partnering with clients or business partner, staying practical & objective in partnerships & while when counselling

#Virgo - health routines & work environment, innovative progressive solution to health issues & physical well being, serving humanitarian causes through practical means, creating technical services or progressive scientific ways to help those in need or those abused or suffering, creating a network of innovative progressive workers or skilled teams, creating a team of technical SMEs who can innovate or create a platform to help many socially or service people in health / diet industry through tech platforms & AI, progressive alternative medical healing methods especially involving body’s circulatory system (heart, blood, veins, body electric wiring), setting up innovative franchises with unique employee program - creating a unique & fair franchise in terms of people management or union benefits or employee benefits, volunteering or humanitarian work or project, acupuncture, homeopathy

#Libra - your passions & creativity - your hobbies involving gadgets, technology, computer games, fun social networking, festivals, fun, enjoyment, bringing people together for fun, arts (possibly digital), humanitarian efforts done out of love or with the one you love, your creative kids or you catering to your child’s creativity or creativity of child within you, karmic gains enlightenment, luck in game of chance - lottery / stock market but please go with a plan & don’t bet the farm - Aquarius energy is best leveraged with a plan & use of technology and analytical skills well (trading through algos etc). Offbeat lovers, insights on love and sharing them with others through a platform. Knowing, understanding children and sharing ideas the same using social network or innovative concepts on how to promote creativity in children, daring to do things differently involving love, arts or children

#Scorpio - home, property, real estate, country of origin, your soul, your emotional foundations, roots, heritage, parents, home based business or real estate business or green city projects or Creative gardening, socially responsible building, innovative real estate, innovative ways to feel emotionally secure & comfortable or ability to help people feel secure in themselves by understanding their pain & insecurity, having practical innovative ways to handle emotional life, parental heritage or property, parenthood, your solid emotional strength & EQ. Potential sudden relocation, using home as base for social causes or for business or group work, living in a progressive community, installing new technology at home & use of most recent gadgets for home based networking, investing in high tech or progressive fixed assets which contribute to your ability to network like electronics or conferencing facilities at home etc, leveraging your ability to see through security needs of people to create innovate solutions around it - emotionally, psychologically or physically through real estate business or home solutions

#Sagittarius - Media ,marketing, Communication & commercial negotiation skills creating self made wealth based on your ability to quickly learning new information or skills and then conveying tangible ideas, selling, convincing people on unique & progressive ideas leveraging your brilliant & unconventional mind. Immense courage to build something on basis of your communication skills and power of your mind, leveraging all resources available to you in your immediate environment e.g. your coworkers, acquaintances, friends giving them fair share but not clinging with it too much - needing own space & time, reading & learning about future trends & progressive topics, using devices which are state of art especially for communication, interesting short trips, intellectual & fast comprehension of subject at hand, radically free thinking leading to original ideas / writing / media work / sales process. Very busy, lots of calls conferences - create ways to release mental overload though you thrive in action

#Capricorn - Creating resources & assets of material value leveraging networks and causes or common theme of social of humanitarian impact, innovation in monetary ideas, Innovation in diets, philanthropy, financial abundance through network, technology & revolutionary new ideas, investing in new technology or through new technology, spending on the next big idea - futuristic scheme like a space program or new innovation or a social platform or digital currency after careful thinking and analysis, investing in or reaping benefits from stocks, investing in a friend or social cause or philanthropy. Sudden swings in earnings as they come from unique sources. Being part of large cooperative funds. More you network, more assets in shape of monetary gains & valuable skills you would accumulate

#Aquarius - Your external identity, how and as what you show up to the world as, your leadership style, your career & external image including appearance, your social contribution as a leader of a network of people, following your intuition to a new path where you know you will make an impact socially and would be gainful, basing your life path on your innate talents of innovation / unique ideas / networking / ability to bring people together & becoming more by uplifting the whole platform of people and not just yourself, progressive thinking on lines of new technology, being open to the world about who you are & not hiding your contributions anymore, desire to follow your hearts desire, very stimulating time with imagination of mind revved up throwing sudden new ideas, keeping your heart free not getting bogged by negative emotions, staying objective & rational as you normally are, not exhausting vitality by going in alone taking your group & tapping into your network of friends / supporters / mentors / influencers, making impact - standing out for the causes that are true to who you are

#Pisces - Spiritual awakening / journey, contributing spiritually to a society, alternative healing methods, breaking old structure suddenly due to a download or sudden awakening, sudden development while you are travelling or in a foreign country or sleeping or relaxing away from the crowd, meditation, psychic work, charity work without attaching your name to it - in hospitals, in field of healing, for mental health, in prisons or for those in need, doing it like your karmic duty & helping humanity in ways not previously seen or understood by others, being a blessing to others, discovering your hidden take to & knowledge suddenly in a moment of peace or in meditation and using it for helping larger set of people, past life memory, karmic times, experiences guided by your guides & angels, enabling group of people to connect with their own inner wisdoms, confronting their demons or fears, connecting with their angels & guides through innovative healing methods

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[alifeleadsimply]

Single mama? Then self-care is even more important to your welfare!

Do you prioritise yourself? Do you remember that you have to take care of yourself? Have you ever thought about this?

I know. You are busy, the days are too short, the workload too heavy, the kids too demanding. Finding the time and space to take care of yourself can be challenging. Sometimes it can even feel impossible, especially if you have to do it alone. But for your own sake, as well as those around you, you need to make it a priority. If you do not, you cannot be surprised by burnout, exhaustion, foul moods, anxiety, and trying to exist, all in a mental fog.

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Society puts so much pressure on us to succeed. Add to that obsessive, competitive personalities and additional pressure to be the best mother/daughter/ /businesswoman/friend/etc. and you have a recipe for disaster. For single mamas, the pressure is even more intense – we have the special edition mom-guilt that keeps us going even long after we should have stopped to rest. So often we don’t even notice that we are running at full steam, without ever taking a break to recharge. From the outside, it looks as if we have it all together – a thriving career, obedient well-rounded kids (who we most probably are homeschooling), a clean house. But on the inside, we are slowly dying of exhaustion. Of course, most of the goals that we are killing ourselves to meet were set by us ourselves, and only we will know if we do not reach them. But still, we allow the pressure to steal our time. The time that is also meant to be enough to take care of ourselves.

I have now officially been a single mom for 5 months. 5 long months. Not only have I had to deal with severe separation anxiety (my kids’, not mine) as well as grief, I have also had to weather the Corona storm. So we have been on this up-and-down rollercoaster of emotions, locked in our home, where we now have to learn and play and clean and live. Just us.

During this time, I have realised again that if I allow myself to slide, if I stop prioritising myself, my kids are the first to pay. I become short-tempered, irrational, and just plain mean. When I allow myself to refuel and find the joy in taking care of myself, I am a much better mom – a much better human being. And that is what my kids deserve. So self-care has now become a huge priority, and almost first on the weekly to-do list.

What is self-care?

Self-care is knowing who you are, and what you need to ensure your own tank is full. That tank includes your emotional, physical, intellectual, spiritual and social sides. All of these aspects must be balanced and fed, often, to ensure that you live instead of merely exist, that you thrive instead of just survive.

I found this beautiful definition when I did the research for this post. I cannot remember where it was from, so if you recognize it or it is your own, please let me know so that I can reference you! The author said something along the lines of:

"Self-care is not a one-time thing that you can tick off a bucket list. It’s the constant repetition of many tiny habits, which together soothe you and make sure you’re at your optimum—emotionally, physically, and mentally"

Do you want to be at your best – emotionally, physically, and mentally? I would dare to guess that your answer will be “of course”. Then focus on yourself for a bit. Self-care doesn’t have to take time, it can be small things that you do on a daily basis, which fits in in your busy schedule. And it also doesn’t have to cost a thing.

Self-care rests on 5 pillars:

Intellectual

Spiritual

Emotional

Physical

Social

Do something that supports and feeds each of these pillars as part of your self-care routine and you’ll nourish every aspect of your life.

Why?

If the promise of a better you were too vague to convince you, here are 5 benefits of practicing self-care that might make you see this differently:

1. Looking after yourself can actually improve your productivity

Saying “no” to things that would otherwise over-extend you simplifies your life in a wonderful way. When you do not have these mindless activities filling up your day you actually have time to spend on things that matter, allowing you to spend your energy on worthwhile activities.

2. It can increase your resistance to disease (boosts your immune system)

When you take care of yourself you activate your parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), allowing your body to rest, rejuvenate, and recharge. This feeds your system, giving it the energy and strength to fight off those nasties that would otherwise make you sick.

3. Self-care improves your self-esteem

Knowing that you are worth looking after immediately makes you value yourself more. Being good to yourself decreases negative self-talk, making you a more positive person in the long run. And positivity has many benefits!

4. It gives you the space to get to know yourself

When last did you take the time to figure out what you love, what you hate, what you don’t mind, and what you wish? Practicing self-care requires thinking about what you really love to do. The exercise of figuring out what makes you feel passionate and inspired can help you understand yourself a lot better.

5. If your own tank is full, you have more to give others

Self-care gives you the resources you need to be compassionate to others. Giving compassion is a bit like filling a bucket from another, bigger bucket; you can’t fill someone else’s bucket if you don’t have enough in your own bucket!

Little and often wins the day

Here are tiny ways to exercise self-care and take better care of yourself. I have grouped them together according to the 5 pillars of self-care. Pick one exercise or activity from each group and incorporate it into your life somewhere during the week.

Tiny self-care ideas for the mind (intellect)

1. Read a book on something that interests you. Not a magazine, an actual book.

2. Look at your to-do list. Scratch of the things that are not necessary, as well as those items that are transferred from list to list. If you are never going to do it, take it off the list.

3. Go cloud-watching. Lie on your back, relax, and watch the sky. Use your imagination to see shapes and scenes.

4. Change a routine in your life. Take another route to work, order a different coffee, or change your ringtone. Mixing up your routine in small ways creates new neural pathways in the brain, helping to keep it healthy.

5. Enjoy a big belly laugh. Find something that gives you joy, and that is absurdly funny. Enjoy!

6. Learn something new that challenges you, but that is fun at the same time, e.g. take a dance class, learn how to knit, do a crossword.

7. Be selfish. Do one thing today just because it makes you happy.

8. Do a mini-declutter.

9. Recycle three things from your wardrobe that you don’t love or regularly wear.

Capsule wardrobe: Minimise your wardrobe without minimising your style

My winter capsule

10. Get out of your comfort zone, even if it’s just talking to a stranger at the bus stop.

11. Edit your social media feeds, and delete or unfollow any negative people.

Tiny self-care ideas for the body (physical)

1. Run, jog or walk for a few minutes. Exercise of any kind is a great mood booster and de-stressor.

2. Make one small positive change to your diet for the week. Drink an extra glass of water each day, or have an extra portion of vegetables with each meal. This can also include eliminating something from your diet for the week – no chocolate, no milk, no coffee. Just remember this is not to punish yourself, rather reward yourself with better, healthier habits.

3. Be still. Sit somewhere outside, preferably in the sun, and be quiet for a few minutes. This is a stepping stone to meditation.

Essential oils for meditation: Using nature to improve your life

4. Use essential oils in a diffuser, to calm you, give you focus, energise, etc. Try peppermint to suppress food cravings and boost mood and motivation.

5. Listen to music. Explore different genres and new artists.

6. Do yoga. Even if you’ve never tried it. Doing a mindful practice has many more benefits than just giving you a good stretch.

7. Nap when you need to. Just 20 minutes can make you feel mentally and physically refreshed.

8. Say “no” to invitations when you’re simply too tired to enjoy them, or if the gathering will just drain you mentally.

9. Take a long bath, with bath salts and oil, candles, and soft music. Read or just lie there and dream.

10. Commit to enough hours of sleep per night, barring exceptional circumstances (figure out how much sleep you need to function optimally)

Essential oils for sleep: Using nature to improve your life

Tiny self-care ideas for the soul (spiritual)

1. Read the Bible, and be still with God.

2. Choose who you spend your time with today. This includes social media. Cut out people who only drain you.

3. Stroke a pet. If you don’t have one, go to the park and find one. (Ask first!)

4. Make a small connection. Have a few sentences of conversation with someone in customer services such as a sales assistant or barista.

5. Have a self-date. Spend an hour alone doing something that nourishes you (reading, your hobby, visiting a museum or gallery, etc.)

6. Identify one of your strengths. Think about what you’re good at, and find an opportunity to use it.

7. Ask for help—big or small, just reach out and allow someone else to be there for you.

8. Go to church.

9. Be creative, whether through art, music, writing, or something else entirely.

10. Go on a trip with the sole purpose of photographing things that inspire you.

Tiny self-care activities for your moods (emotional)

1. Keep a daily journal, and be totally honest about your feelings. Start a gratitude practice

2. Write a list of “feeling words” to expand your emotional vocabulary.

3. Make time to be with a friend or family member who understands you.

4. Let yourself cry when you need to. Allow yourself to experience your emotions.

5. Sing along to happy music.

6. Cuddle up under a soft blanket. It is ok to allow yourself to feel comforted and comfortable.

7. Watch the flames of a candle or a fire.

8. Have crazy good chocolate. Or a glass of wine.

9. Walk barefoot on the grass.

10. Volunteer to help a cause that means something to you.

Tiny self-care activities for your social life (social)

1. Make a date to have lunch or dinner with a good friend.

2. Write an email to someone who lives far away, but whom you miss.

3. Reach out to someone you like but haven’t seen in a while.

4. Consider joining a group of people who share your interests.

5. Stop socializing with those who undermine or disempower you.

6. Strike up a conversation with someone interesting.

7. Sign up for a class to learn something and meet new people at the same time.

8. Spend time with a parent or mentor—someone who makes you feel protected and inspired.

9. Look into local retreats where you can meet like-minded people and escape from society.

10. Hug someone you love (friend, family member, or your child) for 12-15 seconds—studies show this boost immune system function and prompt the release of calming hormones. Just make sure it is someone you know and like, 12 seconds can be very long!

I am convinced that you should be able to find at least one activity in the above lists that speaks to you, and that is easily added to your weekly routine (tip: if you don’t have a weekly routine, start your self-care journey by working out a weekly routine). Once you can comfortably get to that one thing, add another. Continue until you are satisfied. And while you are busy, teach your kids the importance of self-care – let us all do our part in raising a generation who knows how to value themselves.