#i did proof read this post once and should probably do it again but i actually need to go to bed

[hedgehog-moss]

Pampérigouste escaped today and I almost didn't make a post about it because it's just more of the same isn't it? do people who read this blog really want to hear about yet another Pampe escape? Then I thought, that's like asking if people who read detective novels really want to hear about yet another mysterious murder. Probably yes. Also Pampe would have been offended to have such a successful escape go unreported.

I would like to say that my new fence is still fully Pampe-proof. She has not escaped a single time through breaking or outsmarting the fence, so now she does it by outsmarting me. Which doesn't happen all that often, because we are intellectual equals. But I let my guard down this morning—I'd just peeled some greenhouse carrots to make purée and I went into the pasture to distribute the peelings even though it was raining (see how I got punished for my selflessness?), and I left the gate open because I was right in front of it, obstructing it with my body.

Pampe dropped her carrot peelings and acted like she couldn't find them even though they were right under her feet, so I took pity on her and crouched down to gather them and offer them to her again (see how I'm getting punished for my compassion??) and she took advantage of this diversion. In the span of 0.2 seconds she slithered around me and she was out. It was a little bit beautiful. I don't know if you remember this photo of Pampe & Pyrgus, but it's a perfect illustration of what happened:

I sighed and ignored her and finished distributing the peelings to the other animals, and then went to the barn to get muesli to lure my nuisance back to her pasture. After escaping she initially ran towards the woods, but since I ignored her the whole time, she emerged from the woods when I returned, like, wait, did you notice I escaped? Behind your back, just earlier? Did you notice how I won and you lost?

It shouldn't have been difficult to get her back into the pasture with the help of her favourite snack; unfortunately Pampoldine is still a big baby who was distraught that her mum had left her behind yet again (she should be used to it, honestly, it's been like this since she was an infant), she started making these little panicky noises that Pampe has never paid any attention to—

—so when I propped the gate open with a branch to get Pampe back inside, Poldine hurried out instead. I wasn't expecting this, I thought it was clear that I had the situation under control and her mum would be back in 5 seconds. You could have just waited 5 seconds, Poldine.

Pampelune had no interest in escaping, but she's the matriarch and where her herd goes, she goes, so once the other two were out she barrelled past me as well. I opened the gate to bring 1 llama in and instead 2 llamas went out. Pirlouit besides me was like

For some reason the llamas galloped towards the road, instead of just hanging out in the woods where there's stuff to eat. Maybe because Pampe hadn't gone out in a long time and she wanted to be admired for her feat. Her wish was granted—2 cars stopped to say hi as I was miserably trotting after my llamas on the road in the rain. One of them was the post office lady who once herded my animals out of a pasture with her car, and she was like hop in, it'll be like old times!!!

The two people who stopped their car were enchanted with the encounter and they both told me that they missed the days when Pampe Sightings on this road were a regular thing. No one sides with my fence in the Pampe v. Fence conflict. I love the post office lady though, she had a Niagara song playing in her car when I got in and a minute later I muttered "I'll sell her to the butcher" and she started singing "Pampe ♪ Je vais devoir te vendre au boucher ♫" to the tune of that song. It fit the tune really well, too.

After we managed to get the llamas off the main road and back in the woods, she was like, godspeed, I wish I could continue chasing them with you but I have to go make lunch for my kids. I told her that now that the llamas were no longer on the road I'd just let them roam, they'll come home before night, no way I'm going to chase after them in the woods in this dog weather. So I went home and grumpily resumed peeling carrots and potatoes for my mash.

I sat in front of the window to do it so I could keep an eye on Pirlouit, who was wandering around the pasture like a cursed soul, drenched with rain, lonely and llamaforsaken. Sometimes he brayed to try and guide his friends back home, wherever they were, but he never brayed while I was filming. His braying is a poignant display of emotion and is not for public consumption.

I figured, if the llamas come back Pirou will spot them and perk up his immense ears, and I'll know to go out and open the gate. Instead at some point I looked up from my potatoes and saw my donkey finally at peace, grazing rather than pacing restlessly, and I went to look outside and his friends were back! And so was his appetite.

I had new peelings + some muesli to offer, but of course Pampe could tell this offering was a crude and blatant trap and refused to fall for it. Meanwhile her innocent daughter was like yay, snacks :) and followed me in the pasture, a llama entirely devoid of wiles.

After I got Poldine back inside I went like WELL since NOBODY else wants that delicious MUESLI I guess these deserving chickens can have it—and Pampe was here in the blink of an eye to shoo the hens away from her muesli.

She was grudgingly smiling about it, too. Like, point for you.

I love this pic where my chicken looks like she's herding the animals back in their pasture all by herself.

Everyone is home! Pampe and Pandolf are walking away in search of new adventures, Poldine follows her mum because of her abandonment issues, and Pirlouit is also following everyone very closely, like, I'm not getting left behind again.

I finally managed to cook my mashed carrots & potatoes (+ herbs from the greenhouse) and it's so nice to make food with nothing but ingredients you grew yourself! (To be completely honest I only managed to grow 3 carrots in the past few months but that's because I neglected them in pursuit of more flashy summer vegetables)

I also had an apple-plum compote for dessert made with my own fruit <3 Okay, the cheese course in between was store-bought. One of my friends really wants me to get goats and be self-sufficient in cheese and when I told her I would be constantly chasing my goats over hill and dale because they have a reputation to be insufferable escape artists she was like, what difference will it make to your life...

[hyunjinsbelovedamericano]

Fights with skz

a little bit angsty but still fluffy

not proof read once again

Bangchan

i feel like he would be the first to apologize,you would fight over him overworking himself and not taking time to rest he would make some dumb excuses like,"It's my job"or"I'm doing what's right".You would get mad at him for not taking breaks like he should so you confronted him about it and it turned into a whole big fight.He would realise he was the one in the wrong not to long after and apologise and try to take breaks

Lee know

Fights with him would be so complicated,he would be so mad during the fights and probably say things he doesn't mean.If you wanted his attention because he was focusing on his work more,he would get mad and start to call you clingy and say you always want attention etc.You obviously got hurt by this because who wouldn't?Then he would realise he messed up when he's about to go to sleep and apologise

Changbin

You rarely get into fights with Changbin,the chance is extremely low,but when you do there never that heated or serious.There would still be anger though and you would storm off angry,he would feel so bad after and try to shower you in love and kisses,he just wants you to forgive him .You know he won't stop until you forgive him so you just give in and accept his love because you would be a fool not to

Hyunjin

This man would be so petty,you guys would go days without apologising because of the pettiness.You guys would do things like,slam the door,leave the door slightly or wide open,not cook when expected to etc.He would be so sick of this and just wants to go back to a normal relationship,You would find him crying in the bed and automatically feel bad.You guys would forgive each other and go back to a normal relationship(if you don't changbin might steal him jk)

Han

Fights with him would be so sad and tiring,i feel like he would do something unintentionally bad and that would piss you off,he wouldn't realise what he did wrong after the whole fight happened,he would ignore you unintentionally,you would try talk to him another time thinking he was just busy at the time but when you talk he still ignores you.This leads to a fight.But he realises he messed up and asks for your forgiveness

Felix

Fights with this man would be 0.02% likely to happen,i think he likes to avoid fights so if he does something that you don't like he would apologise right away,but when you do get into fights with him there would be alot of tears.When you storm off hw would lock himself in the bathroom and start crying feeling really bad,you can't stay mad at him for long so you apologise before he can because how can you stay mad at him for that long

Seungmin

I think fights with him would be really heated or mild,whenever you get into fights like lee know he would say things he does not mean,maybe he had a bad day and took it out on you.He might call you so annoying or frustrating out of anger and you know that,but it still hurt.So you walk away from the fight and sit in the bedroom.You start to cry in the pillows and seungmin overhears it.He would feel guilty for making you cry and start to comfort you,even if your still mad at him he will not go away

Jeongin

Fights with jeongin would either be simple and you would forgive each other easily or complicated and you would take forever to forgive each other.It's either you both realise it was a misunderstanding and start apologising to each other or you guys take days to forgive each other,it depends the reason your fighting.You would not talk to each other for days and the members would notice and make a plan to get you guys back to normal

Bro i am so sorry for not posting a fanfic in a while,i just had no energy to 😭,but i would love to hear your requests i only do fluff and angst <3

[evilbihan]

Bi-Han doesn't hate Tomas

I've talked about the relationship between these two in other posts of mine before, but I think a proper analysis of it is long overdue, especially with the ridiculous misconceptions still going around in the fandom.

Of course, someone had to comment this on my post about Bi-Han being a good brother.

Please, allow me to prove you wrong.

Bi-Han respects Tomas. Proof? He selected Tomas for an incredibly important mission, one where the stakes couldn't possibly be any higher, and assigned him the task of preventing the activation of the soul stealers. He trusted Tomas to be capable of doing that all by himself. He let Tomas join Kuai Liang and him for the mission when he could have picked any other Lin Kuei instead. He could have chosen Cyrax or Sektor, his two most loyal Lin Kuei, but no, he specifically chose Tomas. Because he knows Tomas is a capable fighter and because Tomas is his brother.

Need more proof? For most of the story mode, Bi-Han is the ONLY ONE talking to Tomas and addressing him directly, while Liu Kang, Kuai Liang and everyone else treat Tomas as if he's invisible. They don't acknowledge his presence and don't speak to him until after Bi-Han joins Shang Tsung. When Bi-Han snaps at Tomas, Kuai Liang doesn't even bother defending him. He only shows that he "cares" once he needs Tomas on his side.

I've elaborated on this in detail in another post, so I won't repeat it all here, but when Bi-Han scolds Tomas, he's only doing so out of frustration because both his brothers keep comparing him to their father and refuse to acknowledge his authority. Bi-Han can't even utter one word of complaint without these two immediately bringing up the old grandmaster. He was furious and Tomas looks shocked and confused at Bi-Han's outburst. What that tells us is that he did not expect Bi-Han to talk to him like that because he never saw his brother act like this before. It proves that Bi-Han didn't put Tomas down on the regular like people always claim. The fandom reads too much into that one short scene and they don't even take the characters' body language or any other subtext into account.

When Tomas asks Bi-Han if they will always be enemies, Bi-Han tells him they will be enemies unless he submits. He doesn't seem opposed to accepting Tomas back into the Lin Kuei or to at least have a truce between them.

Tomas used to admire Bi-Han. He wouldn't have idolized or admired a person who mistreated him. When Tomas poses as the "leader" of the Lin Kuei during the tea house fight, he adopts Bi-Han's body language and expressions. That is how much Tomas looked up to Bi-Han.

Again, I mentioned this before, but Tomas was Bi-Han's second in command in the Sub-Zero invasions mode timeline. While there's no actual evidence for it, I've also had the theory that Tomas might be Bi-Han's second in command in the main timeline too, should the ribbons they both wear around their bicep indicate rank. If the most ruthless and actually evil version of Bi-Han, dark!Titan Sub-Zero who destroyed entire timelines because their inhabitants were not Lin Kuei, regarded Tomas, whose blood is not Lin Kuei, so highly, what makes people think the main timeline's Bi-Han doesn't respect him just as much?

And to answer the final question, no, there were not "multiple intros" saying that, there was just one and yes, Bi-Han was cold towards Tomas because his blood is not Lin Kuei and that's perfectly reasonable if you actually consider the context. The Lin Kuei live secluded and isolated from the rest of the world. Their existence is supposed to be a secret. Of course, they would be wary of any outsiders. Judging by how easily Tomas left the Lin Kuei, I doubt that he had any other friends within the clan aside from his brothers. They were probably all hesitant to trust him, including Bi-Han, whose duty it is to protect his clan. Tomas's family was murdererd by Lin Kuei warriors. Naturally, Bi-Han would be suspicious of his true intentions and worry that he could try to seek vengeance for their deaths one day. It doesn't mean that Bi-Han hated Tomas or didn't consider him a brother.

Whenever Tomas refers to Bi-Han's and Kuai Liang's parents as his parents, Bi-Han does not comment on it or correct him. He doesn't disagree or tells Tomas that they are not his parents. Tomas is a brother to Bi-Han or at the very least, he used to be before their falling out. Bi-Han never calls Tomas adopted, he only tells him that he is not Lin Kuei. Bi-Han was also worried about Tomas when he fell after Nitara attacked him. And again, no, he did NOT kick the rock to try and kill Tomas and here's the proof.

( @trixievrbada tagging you because I know you'll want to read this )

[urperfectcinnamonroll07]

Dating Chishiya Headcanon's

requested?: no pairing(s): shuntarō chishiya x gn!reader, kuina x plationic!reader (mentioned), chishiya x platonic!kuina (mentioned) genre: headcanons warning(s): smutty themes in some parts (will be labeled), fluff, chishiya being whipped (again), mentions of pregnancy, chishiya smiling (:0), not proof read, mentions of alcohol summary: 𝘯/𝘢 word count: 2.1k a/n: had this in my mind for a while now, depending on how long this takes for me to right (edit:took 2 days, but i will try and do a mingyu fluff) i might not post the mingyu fluff tonight, but i will try. make sure you eat and drink something! stay safe, love yas, mwah

Pre Borderlands

oki dokes, i feel like this beautiful smexy ass man defo wouldn’t show a lot of love

especially if you both met through being doctors in training

he would try to act professional

but at home

jeesh

whole diff story there babes

i feel like he would also be quite smug with you

like the typical loving banter

definitely teases you aswell

study sessions together (if you work in the same field as him)

if not, you both do spend time together by studying (if you study for something)

but again, if not, you admire him while he studies

now

this man is a hard worker, so he will forget things, like eating properly and drinking

so you deliver food for him at work

or you eat together on break

you two also joke about the apple a day

an apple a day keeps the doctor away yk

not him tho, he’s locked in for life honey

also has a lot of stress, so if he opens up, you better listen

it takes him a while to open up to someone yk

but he also will need a lot of help with his stress

at first he doesn’t mind cuddles that much, if anything he finds them slightly worthless

“why would someone just want to… lie there, with their arms around someone?”

“because, shiya, it’s romantic, now cuddle me please”

after a while, he will get used to it, and just cuddles you to sleep every night

even if he comes home late after a shift

and he finds you already asleep, having tried to wait for him

he gets changed and cuddles into you

defo a case of you fell first but he fell harder

i don’t really think he would want kids at first

but as he falls more deeply into love, he would defo change his mind

definitely very passionate and loves you dearly

not into pda or physical touch at all, but will use acts of service and words of affirmation as a love language

you most likely have tried his doctor coat one more than once

he acts all annoyed, but really he had butterflies in his stomach

definitely thinking that he wants to put a ring on your finger

iF yOu LiKe It ThEn YoU sHoUlD pUt A rInG oN iT (see what i did there hehe)

definitely so in love with you

absolutely whipped may i say

NSFW

passionate with fucking

he definitely likes to look down where his cock splits you apart

praise, but also degrading

with his work comes a lot of stress, so he likes to take it out on you

maybe when you go to take him lunch sometimes he’ll fuck you over his desk in his office if it’s a particularly stressful day

bends you over a lot

i feel like missionary or having you bent over is his fav position

probably won’t be into quickies that much

but when he is in a rush to get to work, but you look extremely fuckable, expect him to be late

or have an extremely quick round

i feel like he can be really soft and sensual, but when he wants to be, really rough and degrading

body worship

i also feel like he won’t mind if you want to try something out

or if you want to be dom

is quite open to experimenting

nothing that he knows will hurt you tho

hes a doctor

he cares about you, so he will definitely have set up a safe word system

always makes sure what he is doing is ok

on the other hand, if he is rough

he will barely ask

he knows it’s okay though

he will ask for you permission

but as soon as he gets into it, he won’t ask

he’ll just fuck

he isn’t that vocal in bed

a few groans here and there

but nothing much

if you make more noise, he’ll probably smirk against your neck as he fucks you good

he knows what he’s doing is good when he makes you cum over and over again

aftercare is the best

running you a bath and bathing together

being warm with your naked bodies pressed together

probably leads to another round on some nights tbf

but will massage the shampoo and conditioner into your scalp

he knows how to treat you well after all

Borderlands

if you two went into the borderlands together, you would already know eachother

he would want to protect you as well as he can

he knows when you’re lying about being injured

so he will help treat your injuries

he’ll be even more protective now

especially when niragi is around

he doesn’t show much love for you around anyone

in that way it shows he doesn’t have a weakness

and then people won’t torture you in response to that

so you respect him in that case

he is weak for you

he really doesn’t like seeing you hurt or in pain

so he does try his hardest to help you

he doesn’t want to see his precious little baby suffer, y’know

on the other hand, if you met in the borderlands, he probably didn’t take much of a liking to you at first

probably met through kuina at the beach

being such good friends and all

if you’re more of a party animal, he would look out for you

if you become friends after a while

also the same kind of dynamic

you fell first he fell harder

he would be very protective over you

power couple

you probably have playful banter

still not much into pda

links into what i said about niragi using you as a weakness for him

will be very romantic inside the safety of his bedroom tho

if he sees a creep looking at you, he would probably use his doctor knowledge to scare them away

i feel like the love confession would’ve come from you

kuina was probably off somewhere drinking her weight in alcohol

and you would’ve probably been tipsy

and then it just kinda spilled from you as he was talking about his doctor stuff

“that’s so funny shiya… y’know what else is funny?”

“what sweets?”

“i’m in love with you”

one thing probably led to another and you were in his bed(room) for the rest of the night

if it were more a golden retriever black cat relationship, you would be the one making allies/friends

he probably just glares at the person in the background

i feel like in the jack of hearts game, he would be dead serious

if you joked about death at any point, he would just shake his head while standing there

he would also scold you a little bit and tell you not to joke around about that kinda stuff

you, kuina and him would be such an iconic trio, chishiya with his wits, kuina with her strength and you with your charm (you can chose if you don’t like that)

you would probably be the only one who knows about him before the borderlands

and you comforted him

you didn’t really care about what he had done

NSFW

again, i feel like he would be soft and sensual

although i feel like he would be more into quickies now

definitely missionary as his fav position

he just loves to watch where your bodies connect, yk

still a shit ton of praise from him

and if he saves you during a game, you would insist on giving him a blowjob

he would probably try to turn it down tho

but you insist, so he lets you

when you do have time though, he will fuck you senseless

making sure you can’t walk properly the day after

he also likes watching you ride him, being all cocky as he holds your hips while you bounce up and down onto his large cock

he would be so fucking cocky when he hears your moans for the first time

“is my cock so big baby? you think you can take it? huh”

“ngh, shiya, gonna cum”

he’s definitely got a big dick, never mind his height (i’m literally the same height as him lmao)

hes just our short king yk

but hes good in bed

yk that stereotype that doctors are really good at sex because they know all about the human body?

yeah, i thoroughly believe that that’s chishiya’s sex life in a few simple words

fight me

literally fight me

he defo likes degrading, but in his own personal chishiya way, yk

i also feel like he would like to eat you out icl (when he has time ofc)

and swallowing your cum

keeping on going and overstimulating you

just to get you worked up for his cock

he would also like to see you suck on his cock like his good little girl you are

i will write fics and drabbles about this, i swear on it

i also feel like he would be into jealous sex

like not letting you touch him while he sucks your clit

maybe tying your hands above your head

fucking you until your begging him to stop

but he won’t because you haven’t used your safe word yet

maybe he sees another guy flirting with you

so he drags you to his room and fucks you

and if the guy is in earshot he makes sure that he can hear your oh-so pretty moans

makes you scream while your impaled on his cock to get the guy to back off

at the end of the day he loves you and wants the best for you

even if the best thing for you is screaming and creaming all over his cock

Post-Borderlands

i fully believe in the theory that chishiya remembers the borderlands

so when he wakes up, his first thought will probably be you

even if you don’t remember him at all, he would enjoy falling in love with you all over again

but if you were like a sunshine person, he would love your energy fr

he would js wanna fall in love with you again (not that he ever fell out of it)

but if we believe in the fact that he doesn’t remember the borderlands

he would so fall in love with you all over again

if you two were in the same hospital room

you two would probably talk every day

and he would grow to love you

even if he didn’t at first

after a few months of being out of the borderlands (or out of hospital, you choose)

he would probably take you on a date

cute little restaurant

he has that doctor money ykyk

sugar daddy fr

would defo want to settle down and start a family with you

if you have been dating for a few months by then

he would ask you to move in with him

you would ofc say yes (who wouldn’t, its chishiya mate)

i feel like as a father, he would be such a good dad

girl dad fr

he wouldn’t care the gender tho

he would make sure with their upbringing, he was the best dad

made sure they were healthy and that

also during the pregnancy, he would do all of the stuff you needed to do (if you get pregnant)

like lift heavy things

cook

clean

wash the dishes

wash the clothes

etc etc

would have his hands all over your baby bump

kiss it

probably not talk to it (its still chishiya babes)

all that romantic shit fr

or if you adopt, he would love the kid all the same

even if he isn’t the bio dad

he would still love his kids (i will write smt with dad chishiya at some point, dw)

and you

he would love you more that the moon and stars combined

NSFW

i think you know what imma say here

soft and sensual

definitely has more time

so he would like to eat you out

overstim you

like looking down at you while you suck his cock

all that jazz (or should i say jizz😉)

loves fingering you

i stand by what i said with him being good at sex with his doctor abilities

still stands for jealous sex

i feel like he would try to memorise all the parts of your bodies that you love being touched and makes you feel the best

he just wants his baby to feel the best

i feel like he would really like to keep your hands above your head while he fucks you

he likes to hear your moans (if your children ain’t home, we don’t wanna traumatise em today)

but yeah

he loves you so much and would to anything for you at the end of the day

[lilacsareinbloomagain]

Ik you said you’re on break but that’s okay! I can wait lmao

I’m obsessed with your yandere lu writings. I would love a yandere Time x fem reader where he like extra creeps on reader? I’m talking like spying on them n shit and maybe stealing an article of clothing just bc it smells like them

Lord help me that sounds so weird

Why am I like this

Help

Thank you so much for requesting for my boy Time!

Notes: No no I like your way of thinking, give me your worst. Me, personally, I can be way worse than that lol

In fact, I may have accidentally made this creepier than I meant to, idk

By the way, when I said underpants in this I meant those white pants thing Link uses, which is probably called tights or something, but I didn't want you guys to read this and imagine reader with, like, fishnets by accident lmao

Time has anxiety and I'll not elaborate

I was gonna post this tomorrow, but ya know

TWs: Yanderism, stalking, suggestiveness, clothing stealing.

Yandere! LU! Time x Reader

In a way, Time was like a cat.

There was no way you could just ignore random articles of your clothes going missing every time you went to bath.

No matter where you went to clean yourself, it was like one part of your outfit was picked out by hand and evaporated, be it your undershirt, underpants, socks, and sometimes even your underwear!

You tried everything to prevent it, hiding your clothes, setting up traps… You only drew the line when it came to anything to do with poison, since you couldn't bear to possibly end up killing an innocent animal just for the sake of clothes.

Even if said clothes somehow always ended up randomly returning unscathed to the rest of your laundry.

Time and time again, this topic was brought up in conversations with the men you traveled alongside. Yet, for some reason, the matter was also time and time again swept under the rug. It never got solved, neither did it ever get discussed, more often than not.

Starkly different from your point of view, Time found it pretty cute how you got all fussy over some little clothes, clothes which he could easily just make you throw away and buy new ones, it's not like he was lacking the rupees for it, after all.

Yet, he couldn't find it within himself to keep pressing on that matter, not when you looked just so embarrassed protesting against the idea of throwing away your under clothes, stressing about how comfortable your clothes were and about how they were your favorite because of that exact reason.

From what he's noticed, you barely ever wore anything else, no matter how many clothes they could offer you, which was proof of just how much you adored that outfit, each part that composed it having been carefully thought out before being picked out by your hand back when they first went to the market to look for an appropriate Hyrulean attire for you.

It was more than obvious by now that you weren't planning on getting rid of it any time soon.

Still, despite all your best attempts to keep your clothes safe, you couldn't really stop them from randomly disappearing, that is, unless you stopped bathing, and that was something you obviously couldn't even consider doing.

So, you simply sighed with resolution as you took off your clothes to once again go into the river next to the camp, wanting to wash off any grime that may have rubbed on you from the last battle the Links went through before you guys left for the next village.

A little ways down in the same river, you knew the other men were washing themselves, that way, a scream would be all they needed know to come over to help you, should anything happen.

Not that anything had ever happened to you while you were bathing.

You kind of felt like you were being watched, but then again, you learned to not pay attention to that, after all, your brain always seemed to like playing tricks on you, be it making you think you saw the shadows in the corner of your eye moving, or strange noises coming from bushes, all of which always proved to be absolutely nothing at all. Especially the strangely distinctive smell of Time rubbing off on your clothes...

Besides, whenever you looked around yourself to see if your senses were correct, you'd only be able to hear the calm silence of the river waters, almost as if the fish itself held back from swimming every time you tensed up.

The regular calming ambiance noises returned when you finally stopped being paranoid, going back to washing yourself with a relieved sigh, knowing the feeling of being watched was just a product of your tricky mind.

Sound doesn't travel much underwater. Should it be sounds of heavy breathing, sounds of something much larger than the river fish swimming, or even the heavy sounds of metal boots sinking into the sandy floor of the river with every step their wearer took.

Time observed with certain amusement as you walked around the shallow part of the river, your head just above the surface, your feet dangling dangerously near the deeper part. One wrong step and you could risk drowning.  

However, you seemed to be having fun while cleaning yourself, enjoying the cool, clean water. The elder, though, was having his own fun watching you.

He had to give it to you though, no matter what you did, your movements were always so captivating to him. He had already seen a lot in his life, many races, creatures and even monsters. Yet you had such a… Human way of behaving. Even if humans were so alike hylians, you still seemed different in a way, a very good way in his eyes.

What was even more interesting to him was the fact that you were still different from the other humans he'd met through his life.

More often than not your actions were unpredictable and random, not at all serious, it was like you somehow weren't very phased after getting kicked out of whatever universe you originally belonged in and into another. An universe that was extremely dangerous and distinct from yours. His universe.

You were very, very far from your home, yet he could still see some of it in the way you spoke, behaved and reacted to the things and beings around you.

Sometimes, he'd catch himself becoming infatuated again with the stuff that he was already used to, simply because you seemed so surprised and excited by them. 

Things he saw in his everyday life and just happened to ignore. Places, people, animals, creatures, plants, you name it. You gave him a renewed view of life, the whole "enjoy the small things in life" a concept so simple that still managed to make him feel truly alive again.

When he was with you he felt like Hylia and the Golden Goddesses themselves were paying him back for all heroic deeds he performed. In his eyes, you saved him.

In no time, watching the stars with you became a new routine, you were always so interested in them, yet still didn't seem to mind when he preferred to do something else, as to avoid looking at the moon.

Therefore, counting and catching fireflies was the next best thing.

And before he even noticed, he had bought an extra satchel at the market just so he could collect and buy those things that reminded him of you, things he noticed you pointing out whenever you saw. Pretty rocks, shiny crystals, colorful shells, and even those silly little trinkets that, in his eyes were useless, yet brought happiness to yours.

You'd even managed to make him blush the other day, when you told him he was acting like a cat, placing gifts by your bedroll at night, while you were asleep.

Yes, you made him blush. Him, The elder, The Hero Of Time that was also The leader their group, a group made up of the strongest men known in the history of Hyrule.

But, in a way, you were actually correct. 

Cats are very attached to their favorite person, enough to follow them around and watch them do the most simple things, like sleeping, or bathing.

He didn't feel like admitting to those things though, especially not to stealing your clothes.

At first, he assured himself that he was doing all that watching just to make sure you were safe, after all, bathing time was the only moment of the day when you were “fully alone��� or so you thought. Time would never forgive himself if you accidentally got hurt because of his lack of attention to you, even if the “hurt” in question was merely a scratch on your knee from accidentally slipping while bathing.

He knew better than anyone that too much peace meant something bad could happen at any time, and too little peace was even worse! Therefore, there was no middle ground, you needed to be protected at all times. And the fact he also got a little fun out of guarding you didn't hurt anyone. After all, what the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel.

He didn't even try lying to himself about stealing your clothes, he wasn't that delusional, after all, liking your smell didn't sound like too good of an excuse to tell you, should you find out about that little habit of his.

In a way, he wasn't even hidden right now, per say, he was just not in plain view. 

In fact, sometimes even hoped you saw him, so that he'd be able to stop just watching and join you already.

After all, you wouldn't be able to get hurt if he was right there beside you, right?

Let him keep pretending that's the only reason he wanted to join you in the bath.

[maliland]

RESENTMENT: PT. 1

"i gotta look her in her eyes and see she's had half of me." part two

barbie(s): e-42 miles morales & black fem reader includes: flashbacks/backstory stuff, angst, infidelity, homewrecking, & heartbreak (men being disappointments per usual) synopsis: you used to describe your experience with love as one of complexity and simplicity all at once, but after you learn what your boyfriend did at a party with another girl while you were at home and sick, your heart is left with irreparable damage and an abundance of resentment. wc: 2669 banner credz: @/cafekitsune

a/n: first fic on this ho 😓 nervous. idk if i like this so i was procrastinating.. but lmk what y’all think! 🫣 i’ll post a post a poll the end of the fic. if y’all like it then i’ll finish up the second part and post it whenever i get a chance. i haven't proof read, but i'll fix any mistakes when i do.

(nd let me ease your nerves: this is not a fic where miles cheats on reader w/ gwen. she isn’t included in or mentioned in this part or the next 😭)

unfaithfulness might as well be a disease. not one that can be contracted, but one that stems from within. 

those who are unfaithful are unequivocally the weakest links. you? you've always presumed them to be snakes that were to join lucifer on earth at the very beginning of time, because they'd rather cause havoc and jeopardize how those they love perceive them rather than relish eternal peace in the clouds. had adam and eve left the forbidden fruit alone, the one thing that those unfaithful could've stayed faithful to was their identity as whispering serpents. alas, that's not how the story goes. and for the sake of free will, god decided they should reside on earth with those who know nothing but faith. 

betrayal isn't limited to one kind of person. whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, anyone can smile in your face, only to turn around and drive a pre-sharpened knife right through your back when you least expect it. you're left to bleed out while you try and make sense of why it had to be you.

you've been double-crossed before, but never bad enough to the point where you needed to make a huge deal out of it. it was usually stupid stuff, like your elementary friends ratting out your genius hiding spot during hide and seek after they got found, or your mom revoking her promise to take you to the park that one day after school when you were younger. your ex-best friend from middle school spreading nasty rumors about you was far more serious than all the other instances, and it was probably the worst one until now. 

you know that girls and guys alike get cheated on. you've heard stories and even seen it happen firsthand. infidelity occurs more frequently than you initially thought it did. then again, you tried not to think about it much because you were positive it would never happen to you. ever. especially not with your boyfriend, miles.

that was your first mistake—thinking you were immune.

you wanted to gauge your eyes out when your best friend video called you and showed you that photo of miles kissing another girl in a bedroom at a halloween party. 

the girl you were once worried about.

❤︎₊ ⊹

when you were younger, you were in love with the idea of being in love. 

many of your earliest memories consisted of your father reading you fairytales right before bed, since your mother was never around to do so. when he learned that you took a liking to stories that were more centered around love, he began to look for various fairytales pertaining to such that he could read to you. you adored how the love interests would always end up together by the end of each and every story. after enduring all the conflict getting in the way of their relationship thriving, it felt like a reward. you always felt secure knowing a happy ending was guaranteed no matter what transpired throughout the story. you liked that security, but your obsession with it inevitably flawed your perception of love itself. you grew up under the impression that love in the reality in which you reside wouldn't be all that different from the fairytales.

it hurt you when you finally discovered that that wasn't the case. in eighth grade, you had asked your crush to the winter formal. he had harshly rejected you, cracking the most heartless jokes in addition, in attempt to impress his friends, who were indeed laughing up a storm. that encounter alone was enough to ground you to earth. you discovered how disappointing the world and its inhabitants truly were, and how the unrealistic fairytales you once swooned over would never be real life. maybe it was insane of you to ever even think so, given the perilous city you live in.

seeing as dating these days is more detrimental than beneficial, during your sophomore year of high school, you decided that you'd steer clear from being romantically involved in any way, shape, or form entirely. of course, the universe always sends you someone or something you stopped wishing for ages ago when you least expect it. maybe something you didn't even long for anymore at all. you were perfectly okay with sticking to romance novels. you sure didn't want to put your peace on the line, especially not in the name of romance—but someone changed that.

miles.

you knew of his existence before you started dating him, but only briefly. you had an algebra class together your sophomore year, but the boy was quite reserved, only speaking when spoken to. trying to keep to himself and stay out of your school's public eye completely backfired on him, because he became the topic of everyone's conversations multiple times for a full week after his father, the former police captain, passed away. 

officer morales' death was a humbling reminder that brooklyn would only continue to grow more and more minacious. you haven't gone for a walk at night by yourself for as long as you can remember. you'd either be mugged, killed, or both. on the streets of new york, there was peril lurking around every corner. the city has more loose criminals than you were able to count on your fingers. you got used to living in such an environment, but your arm hairs never did stop shooting up whenever you had to step outside.

you recall giving your condolences to miles when he returned to school two weeks later. he had just nodded. you couldn't blame him though. everyone was constantly reminding him of something he'd rather not think about.

if he wasn't reticent and constrained to silence before, he was sure as hell was now. you tried your luck with him anyway, though.

whenever you'd see him sketching in his sketchbook in algebra, you'd compliment his skill or ask him what he was drawing. maybe it seemed a little invasive at the time, but your heart was in the right place. 

"i didn't know you could draw," you whispered to him. your desk was right next to his, so ignoring you wasn't really an option.

"yeah."

"that's cool, art takes skill—and patience," you had smiled.

"mhm."

you fell into a routine of asking miles what he was drawing every day in class. he was undoubtedly annoyed by it at first, but he eventually got used to it, and you finally got more than a one-word response. it was this conversation in particular that changed the way miles saw you.

"is that the prowler's suit you're drawing?" you whispered, surveying the page.

miles nodded and responded flatly. "yeah."

"i think it looks cool. i really like his suit design," you retorted. "especially the purple."

"you do?" he stopped drawing completely and looked up at you.

"hell yeah," you expressed with a faint grin. "he may be a criminal or whatever, but you gotta admit, his suit and his tech are pretty neat."

so then you two were friends for a couple of months. you'd do things like eat dinner at his house, help around the flat, and study together. surprisingly, miles' mom, rio, took a liking to you. she even taught you how to cook, and would let you assist with fixing dinner. 

miles had it was rare for his mama to warm up to people as fast as she did to you, and that made you feel special.

within the period of time in which you and miles would hang out, you ended up catching feelings for him, which you pushed to the side without a second thought. you still firmly believed that a relationship would bring you nothing but trouble. what you didn't know was that miles felt the same way about you as you did him, and eventually, he decided that he couldn't hide his feelings for you anymore.

miles confessed to you one night under the water tower on the roof of his apartment complex. you'd been watching the sun go down together and talking about whatever came to mind. you could've gazed into his perfectly sculpted face until the end of time. you doted on the way his eyes glowed gold when the sun hit them just right.

"you helped me open up. i didn't think that was something i was capable of doing anymore," he had told you. "i really do like you, [name]."

though you were terrified of putting yourself in a position to be played, you didn't want to say no, so you didn't. 

for the two years you've been with miles, you've never not trusted him. he's never given you a reason not to. he's always treated you like royalty, practically kneeling at your feet like being in your presence was a reward all by itself—at least that's what you felt like being his girlfriend equated to. 

it's no secret that miles tends to capture the attention of numerous girls without ever even having to try, whether they went to your school or simply passed him by on the street. miles didn't even have to lift a finger to have them drooling.

when you two got together, you didn't announce your relationship to the public like you were some kind of celebrity couple. that didn't stop people from gossiping like you were, though. according to everyone who went to visions, "miles and [name] popped out with each other out of nowhere!" and that was okay with you. nobody needed to know the ins and outs of you two's relationship. unfortunately, the obvious fact that you and miles were together didn't stop girls from constantly trying to have their way with him—one girl in particular was more persistent than the rest.

you'd be lying through your teeth if you said it didn't bother you at first, because it made you sick to your stomach. the thought of miles leaving you for one of those girls was one you couldn't bear. 

you vividly recall standing beside miles while he was situating his books in his locker before a girl who was well-known around campus, arielle, approached your boyfriend on the opposite side and 'not-so-subtly' flirted with him like you weren't even there. it was no secret that she didn't like you, so you were stuck between trying to figure out if she actually liked miles or was just trying to get under your skin. all you knew was the way she was twirling her perfectly spiraled, bouncy, brown curls around her index while she bit her lip bottom had you undeniably heated. 

"so miles, i've been learning how to braid hair," she had said. "honestly, i think i've pretty much mastered it. i want to practice cornrows... problem is, i couldn't find anyone with the type of hair i prefer to practice on, but then i saw you!"

you had to turn around and face the opposite direction just to hide the distaste that hastily painted your once-neutral expression. you brought your arm to your mouth and coughed twice so it wouldn't look like you were turning around for no reason. when you turned back around, arielle was looking you dead in the eyes, like you had done something horrible to her. you were surprised that she decided to give you even a fraction of her attention instead of acting like you were a ghost altogether.

you returned the energy, narrowing your eyes to slits. you weren't going to go toe to toe with another girl over a boy who was clearly yours. you had just redone miles' hair not even three full days ago, so she'd had to find another guy to practice on.

you shifted your gaze onto miles as he closed his locker. he hadn't even said a word to arielle up to that point, or even looked at her. when he finally made eye contact with the girl, she smiled innocently, as if she wasn't trying to murder you by burning holes through your skull with the way she was staring at you. 

you were no longer bothered by the time miles turned his head to look at you. the way his face was twisted was more than telling, with confusion written all over it. you read that boy like a book. 

"i mean, come on," arielle giggled. "you'd be the perfect person to practice on."

this girl didn't know when to stop. you were silently growing furious, wishing miles would take your hand and drag you away from that foolishness, but no. instead, he chose to engage in conversation with arielle.

"what do you think of my hair now?" miles asked.

this made your stomach drop, but it didn't show on your face. instead of saying anything or trying to figure out why miles cared what this random ass girl thought, you stood still where you were, waiting for the worst to be over. at the time, you and miles had only been together for about five and a half months. you didn't expect your first relationship to end that quickly. if this conversation didn't wrap up soon, you were sure that your head would start spinning and you'd pass out on the spot.

"of course! the two braids always look so good on you. i love them," arielle angled her head and leaned against the locker next to miles'.

"so do i," miles smirked, snaking one of his arms around your upper back to the shoulder furthest away from him. he pressed his palm against your arm and gently urged you closer to him, pointing to you with his free hand then looking back at arielle. "my girl got me right the other day, and she did a damn good job."

a smile crept up onto your face. for only half of a second, you didn't want to come off like one of those annoying moms of five who got the last 75" flat-screen tv during black friday and rubbed it in everyone's faces in the checkout line, until you remembered who's boyfriend miles was.

yours.

you had bragging rights.

"thanks, miles," you looked up at him, smiling brightly as any and all doubts left your mind. your eyes soon met with arielle's again, who was in disbelief. it seemed that you'd exchanged expressions. you were the one geeking now. 

"damn, i'd say gossip doesn't spread like it used to, but the looks you were giving me tell me you know we're together and don't care."

arielle shifted her weight off of the locker, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. she was never one to admit, let alone accept defeat.

"girl, c'mon. don't be lame. miles wouldn't cheat on me. it's even crazier that you thought he'd flirt back while i was standing right here."

"have it your way, but he's gonna crack."

with that, arielle scoffed, opting to leave the situation alone for the day. that wouldn't be the last time she tried something like that, and it probably wasn't the first either. you just happened to be around to see it that time. it made you wonder how miles reacted every other time. you were also quick to question why she claimed miles would "crack." it rubbed you the wrong way.

"she's jus' talkin' outta her ass, hermosa. she likes attention," miles assured you.

for whatever reason, that response alone didn't satisfy you. you had an uneasy feeling in your stomach for the rest of the day. you remember calling miles that same night while you both did homework. in the midst of the comfortable silence that had settled, you decided to bring up how you felt about what had happened.

"i won't lie, earlier today, i was a little scared," you admitted.

"of what?"

"i thought you were gonna ditch me for arielle," you replied, letting out a deep sigh at the same time.

"i'd never," miles promised you. "te amo, chica. and only you. i'm with you for a reason."

"i love you, too," you grinned, genuinely feeling at ease. "i was just paranoid. i know now that you'd never do that to me."

the invasive thoughts that often crowded your mind and kept you up late at night; the ones listing each and every reason why your relationship with miles would crash and burn? they haven't bothered you since then.

©maybemymali

[levi501ackerman]

That Day | Levi x Reader Angst

masterlist

Summary: Ever since That Day . . . Anytime you became lucid, Levi spent all the time with you that you could offer him.

Word Count: 10.1k ( about 50 mins to read)

Megan's Note: This popped into my head the other day and I had tunnel vision to write this. I have written 90% of Part 3 of Allegiance. I decided to write this in one part and it's not entirely proof read cuz now that I am done I need to focus on finals LMAO. Posted: 5/2/24

TRIGGER WARNING: torture, scars, mentions of underweight. (please lmk if there's anything else I should add because I've never written anything this dark.) It's supposed to be angsty AF. Please know I did my best and I understand for having medical stuff wrong or something unrealistic. Enjoy and lmk if you cried cuz I cried.

“This will not be discussed again,” Levi said firmly to the girl in front of his desk. She was frustrated and tearing up. Her dark hair was long and the girl had her arms crossed. Levi started pretending to read, hoping the girl would get the idea to leave. Annoyance crept up because the girl was still in front of Levi. He had nothing left to say. “Please, leave. I don’t want to discuss anything un-scout-related with you.” The girl sighed and headed toward the door. Before she could get near the threshold, there was a knock from outside.  

“Captain Levi, It’s Eren Jaeger.” The voice said behind the door. The girl glanced at Levi and then opened the door for him. Eren’s eyebrows were furrowed and raised, his eyes alert. Then suddenly dropped to confusion, “Oh hey Grace,” She walked passed without greeting him. Eren’s anxious tone returned, he was slightly sweaty and out of breath from dashing to the Captain’s office. “It’s Y/N. She’s lucid.” Levi looked at Eren, he slowly started rising from his desk. Engaged and forgetting anything else he was focused on. 

Hange and Moblit with a clipboard stood against the wall in an attempt to stay out of the way. They were quietly listening to the girl behind the curtain groan. A nurse could be heard trying to get the girl to drink water, but she kept rejecting the offer. The girl kept mentioning how cold she was. Hange had not visited Y/N in a few weeks. At the end of each lucid episode, it was filled with nothing but frustration and guilt. If only things went differently. Levi and a few others should be here any moment. The door opened and Sasha entered, quietly. She knew the protocol, she stood next to Moblit near the door and silently greeted Hange and Moblit. 

“NO! No, please! I don’t want shots!” Hange could hear you hoarsely beg. Hange breathed deeply. She thought to herself, you’re in the room. We are safe. “Can we wait?! Please, no!” You screamed. Behind the curtain, the nurse softly reassured you and asked you to lower your voice. 

“I think we’ll start as normal, have Doctor Winston Yates and Levi assess Y/N, and go off based on this first hour,” Hange whispered. Moblit and Sasha nodded. “I assumed Mikasa has been reminded of her role?” Sasha nodded again. The door opened again and Dr. Yates walked in. He gave Hange, Sasha, and Moblit a thumbs-up with a big smile. The older man brought a warm presence. He lively strode behind the curtains.

“Y/N! Good to see you awake . . . she’s on IV fluids?” He loudly greeted you. 

“Yes,” the nurse said. 

“Tell me how you feel right now, don’t hold back on me!” His chuckle is probably what you needed to hear. You didn’t hear much laughter anymore. 

“I’m tired . . .” You said softly. The door opened once again with Levi hastily entering the room, he glanced at the three and then went behind the curtain. Eren entered and held the door until it closed with a quiet click. “Levi!” You said and Levi sat in the chair next to your bed. You reached out your hand. He sat down and with a soft embrace he held your hand. 

“Y/N, how do you feel?” He asked in a low voice. 

“Good, I want to sit outside.” Levi smiled and Dr. Yates and the nurse laughed.

“That’s what we want to hear!” The nurse said.

“We can go outside, later,” Levi assured.

“We need to give her a shot, she’s on her usual IV with concentrated vitamins and minerals.” The nurse said lowly to Levi and Dr. Yates. You panicked and jerked away from the nurse. You couldn’t get far with the straps still clamping down your ankles. But you moved as close to Levi as you could. He wrapped an arm around you and then looked you in the eyes.

“Just a shot it’ll be over really quick.” Levi whispered.

“I’ll need her arm.” Levi freed you and held your hand with both of his. The nurse rubbed your arm and you felt the cool sensation. You closed your eyes. “Okay and you’re done.” 

“What!? I didn’t even feel it,” You said.

“There you go! Next time, bump her TPN to 2 liters,” Dr. Yates said, looking at your arms. 

“See nothing to worry about.” Levi said and you smiled at him. “Let’s brush your teeth and clean yourself a little then we can sit outside.” 

5th Debriefing Session:

Hange glanced at her notes before speaking. She sat in a comfortable chair at a table where the survey corps typically held meetings. Dr. Yates, Levi, Commander Erwin and Moblit sat at the table and turned their attention to Hange. Hange hated the debriefings. All of them did They only happened at the end of your lucid episodes. 

“According to this recent episode, Y/N stayed lucid for four days. Her 2nd longest lucid. This time she was showing a more closed off demeanor. She only wanted to socialize with Levi, Sasha Brause, Dr. Yates, and Eren Jaeger. She was opposed to physical touch except for Levi . . .” She looked at her clipboard and sniffled. “My hypothesis was correct that when Y/N showed signs of starting to revert and feel triggered, Sasha’s presence made Y/N feel safe. Twice during this episode, Y/N started screaming and Sasha was introduced and Y/N appeared to calm down and eventually went back to a neutral state. And like Dr. Yates mentioned in his therapy debriefing, Y/N is showing signs of improvement.”

“Day by day. She’s getting better,” Dr. Yates said to Levi. Levi was looking down at his lap. He hated these sessions too even though they were important. Though he did recognize signs of improvement, he felt defeated every time you got triggered. Guilt shredded him, as he went through the past seven months without you fully. Levi wanted you to live life with him.

“White pants or black pants?” Levi asked you, holding up both pairs. 

“Black.” For the first month after That Day, the pinstriped scars on your legs triggered you. As they healed and were less bloody, scabby and painful they didn’t visually trigger you anymore. That was the first success from Dr. Yates working with you. Levi went behind the curtain and pulled it behind him to give you some privacy. It was now only you two in the cold room. When you pulled back the curtain slowly you let out an unsure sound. “Um . . .” Levi looked over at you looking down at your big pants. His heart dropped, but wasn’t going to let you see his disappointment in you losing more weight.

“We’ll eat soon. Try rolling it.” He said.

“What?” He approached you and grabbed the pants and folded it down so the waist wouldn’t fall down. Levi couldn’t help but catch your eyes. He wanted to kiss you, but to him you were so fragile. You kissed him on the cheek and it elated him how lovingly you were this time. He wrapped one arm around you and squeezed you.

4th Debriefing Session:

 “Y/N’s overall behavior this episode . . .” Hange said and then let out a sigh. “Was . . .” 

“Aggressive.” Levi said. 

 Hange held two bowls of hearty soups with bread. One bread had an excessive amount of butter on it and in one of the bowls there was extra oil in the soup. She carefully walked with the meals in her hand. Moblit was next to her with the clipboard. 

“With the extra butter and oils, I’d track probably a thousand calories for this meal. If we can get her to eat again later, I’ll call that a success.” Hange said and Moblit was writing on the clipboard in his hand. They walked outside of the dining hall and saw you and Levi in the distance. You were sitting on a bench under a tree facing away. 

“Section Commander, her bread is as wet as the soup.” Moblit said, eyeing the pound of butter on your slice of bread. 

“ . . . I’ll do anything to have her be healthy again . . .” Hange said. Birds flew away from the tree Levi and you were sitting under. She sighed. Moblit looked at her and recognized her anguished expression.

“Don’t be hard on yourself. Torture trauma could take multiple years to recover from . . .” Moblit said.

“ . . . I just think about . . . only if . . .” Hange stared at the grass in front of her. Then she recognized the beauty of that moment. You were lucid and cooperative. Moblit was right to not be hard on herself. It was a good day because of the sun and the slight breeze. It has been Months since you were outside. Not only that, you wanted to go outside. Inbetween most of your lucid episodes, you were sedated, because you wouldn’t stop screaming or kicking. Your vocal cords would get shredded and you would lose your voice. “Good Morning, Levi! Y/N! Are you hungry?” Hange found it deep inside her to sound joyful. You whipped your head around toward the voice. You gasped excitedly and jogged toward Hange. Levi walked toward the three after.

“For me?” You asked.

“If you won't eat it, I will.” Hange bent a little to your height with a smile. Levi took the two bowls from Hange. When the food was out of the way you hugged Hange and she froze out of shock then embraced you lovingly. She hadn’t received a hug from you in a while. You seemed excited for her to be around. You hugged for more than five seconds and when you realized Hange wasn’t going to pull away you did.

“Thank you for the food!” You said, “Come sit with us!” You grabbed Hange’s wrist and pulled her toward the bench. “You too Moblit”. When you looked back, you saw him writing on his clipboard and then he grinned at you. When you got to the bench Levi handed you the bowl with the extra oils and butter. “Oh . . . I don’t think there’s room on the bench.” You scooted all the way next to Levi and assessed if Hange could fit in the small space. 

“Oh no worries—”

“Levi, get up.” You said and he obeyed, which Hange laughed. Levi faced you while still standing next to you. He didn’t want to leave your presence or miss anything you did. Hange sat down next to you. 

“She’s been asking about you,” Levi said to Hange then sipped his soup. Hange was certainly intrigued especially since the last time was not a good experience with you. She felt a sliver of hope.

“Have you been missing me?!” She asked. It was an eye opener for her, the last two months were not physically good for your health. Her heart dropped analysing you, you were skinny, looked dull and genuinely tired. She regretted not visiting you enough.

“Yes, I feel so . . . out of it. Like I woke up from the longest dream . . .” You said. Then took a spoonful of soup making sure to get a little bit of the chicken onto the spoon. 

“She was talking about the time you were teaching her how to braid hair.” Levi said. 

“Hmm. Are you sure that was me?” Hange asked.

“Oh well, I thought it was you, maybe not.” You laughed. 

“Hey, eat before it gets cold,” Levi said, tapping your ankle lightly with his foot.

“Yeah. Yeah. I just want to talk to Hange.” You said.

“Awe, you’re so cute. But Levi’s right, you wouldn’t want your food to get cold.” Hange said.  

“Could you have put any more butter on this bread?” You laughed and Hange laughed it off.

“Try it like this,” She took your bread and dunked it in the soup. The bread was dripping in broth, butter and oil. You took the soaked bread and attempted to take a bite out of it without dripping on yourself. 

5th Debriefing Session:

“Yes, day by day, Y/N is getting better. My only concern is that she stopped having an interest in eating. Levi informed me that she would push around her food and barely drink water. I sat a table over and noticed two evenings in a row she only took a few bites.” Hange read from her notes. “However, I noticed the start of a trend. She always finished a bowl of soup. Perhaps at least one of the meals for the day needs to be soup.”

“We can start a total parenteral nutrition IV when sedated. Then adjust the dosage.” Dr. Yates said and wrote the note down. 

“Great. Another thing I wanted to talk about which I mentioned before was her social behavior . . .” Hange took a deep breath then focused on her notes. “Y/N had a small improvement from her last episode. This episode Y/N wasn’t against socializing. Besides the few previously mentioned she seemed fearful or hesitant around some friends. I do not want to describe her as shy, just . . . disinterested.” Hange choked and then took another deep breath.

Levi stared at the books on the bookshelf. He couldn’t look at his friend.

“How are you?” You asked Levi. “You are more quiet today.” He smiled, grabbed your hand and lifted to kiss the back of your palm. The four of you were on a short walk. You were unknowingly walking toward your next few tests. Hange was on the other side of you with Moblit on her side. A few scouts would walk past and greet Levi. He ignored them.

“I’m at peace being with you.” He said softly knowing moments are fleeting. You thought he was being cute. You stepped in front of him, wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. It took him by surprise. But you were giving him a pleasure he wasn’t going to deny. He kissed you again, deeply and he thought how there is just no one else in his life he wanted. Levi was willing and planning on being patient for the time it took you to heal. Years. Decades. You made it through That Day. Levi knew you were worth the time to heal. He knew that healing was not linear. He intended to be with you for all of your moments. He remembered something and reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out your ring. “I cleaned it.” He grabbed your left hand and slid the ring on your left ring finger. Then he warmly smiled at you, gazing at his special girl. “Someday when you are healthy, we’ll get married . . .” Levi realized they were out in the open in public and glanced towards Moblit and Hange. Moblit was writing on his clipboard and Hange was acting like the bowls she was holding was the most interesting thing. He clasped your hand and continued walking, Hange and Moblit slowly trailed behind you. 

When you got closer to the entrance of the dining hall the more noise you could hear. There were scouts laughing with each other. Some people standing in groups talking to each other. Some were out in the front enjoying the sun. A few people grouped in the front. Some faces you recognized but you haven’t ever conversed with. It was getting louder as you approached the threshold. A girl with pretty dark hair caught your eye.

“Mikasa?” You asked a little unsure. The girl’s eyebrows raised and her eyes were wide. “Mikasa Ackerman?” She stepped closer to you. Hange, Moblit and Levi could see Mikasa’s eyes start to gloss over. 

“Y/N . . .” Mikasa said calmly. 

“I haven’t seen you in a long time,” You hugged her and she hugged you back tightly. Mikasa didn’t want to let go. She kept blinking, but her eyes were filling up with tears. You pulled away, “How are you?” You asked brightly. “Keeping Eren out of trouble?” She smiled through her tears. “ . . . What’s wrong?” 

“We haven’t seen each other in a while. It’s happy tears.” She sniffled and you laughed. 

“You look sad,” You said and touched her hair. 

“I have something for you . . .” Mikasa gently went through a small bag she usually did not have with her. 

“What is it, Mikasa?” Hange asked.

“She got me a present!” You said excitedly. Mikasa found what she was looking for. She gently brought out paper that was folded twice. 

“I found this a few weeks ago and I want you to have it.” She handed you the folded paper and you hesitantly took it. You carefully unfolded the paper. On the paper was a drawing of three girls. You gasped. It was a drawing of Mikasa, Sasha and you and the background you could tell was your room from your cadet days. Mikasa sniffled, blinked back tears, and quietly took a deep breath. “Remember? Jean drew us and Sasha when we were roommates in the cadet corp.” The drawing of you and your friends was done in pencil, but along the edge of the paper were names written in ink. In elegant penmanship was written: Mikasa, Sasha and Y/N. “I had it all these years, but I think you should have it.” Your heart felt like it was swelling in your chest. How could you not? You thought of the fun times you and Mikasa would plug Sasha’s nose when she was sleeping. She would swat and roll over leaving you and Mikasa giggling. You thought of the time when you peed your pants because Sasha made you laugh so hard. Another memory of Mikasa teaching Sasha how to braid hair and she tried it on you and put knots in your hair. Mikasa had to cut your hair. It ended up so badly that Mikasa braided your hair for the last year of the cadet corp. You thought of the time you stole Mikasa’s shirt for the day then when heading to bed your mattress was gone. Mikasa was like the sister you always wanted. You hugged Mikasa and she let a tear fall. She closed her eyes and enjoyed that moment. 

“ . . . You’re the one that taught me how to braid hair . . . This is so sentimental, Thank you.” You said and when you pulled away you analysed the drawing again. “Hey, how's Jean? I’m surprised I haven’t seen him yet . . . Where’s Eren? He’s usually . . .” You froze, you felt cold. You felt sick. Why did you feel scared? Mikasa stared back at you, her eyes grew bigger. 

“Y/N.” Levi grabbed your arm and held your head while embracing you. 

“How do you feel? Tell me your thoughts.” Hange said worryingly. She tugged on your shirt gently. You stared off and then you looked at Mikasa.

“I was just . . . wondering where Eren was . . . you two are usually together.” You said dazed and confused. 

“Let’s sit down . . .” Levi said and you stared at Mikasa. She was still in her stance. She looked at you carefully, she didn’t want to frazzle you. Though this moment for her was fleeting, she looked at you and appreciated that you were alive and lucid.

“Do you want to sit with me?” You asked Mikasa. More tears streamed down her face with a smile. 

3rd Debriefing Session:

“There’s not a clear indication why Y/N’s long term memory was affected. There are gaps—not remembering long term friendships, routines, and some milestone events. But with this episode lasting 28 days and with the evidence that over time her health did improve over the 28 days.” Dr. Yates said. Levi stared at the books he always did. The survey corps went on a large scale planned expedition and unfortunately, you became lucid the morning they left. 19 days they were gone. Apparently, you kept asking for Levi. You were a little moody sitting in the medical room not being allowed to do much. You asked to go outside, but once you were outside you just wanted to go back in. 

Levi was pissed when the survery corp returned and he received the message that you’ve been lucid since they left. He wasn’t there for the longest time you were lucid and he didn’t know how much time he had left. When he did return to you, you became happier and so you started becoming healthier. Dr. Yates let you stay with Levi for a couple nights. 

While staring at the books, his mind ended up thinking about one of the nights of you staying with him. You were on top of Levi practically begging to have sex. He thought about how you kissed his neck and palmed him teasing him with pleasure. You two haven’t had sex since before That Day. He rubbed your thigh gently, he tried to pretend he didn’t feel your pinstriped scars. You ran your hand through his hair, pleading with him to touch you. Levi felt like he was taking advantage of you and suggested going to bed. 

“I suggest we can add a couple tests when she’s lucid.” Hange’s bright tone pulled Levi away from the thought of you. 

“What are you thinking?” Commander Erwin asked. 

“Since Y/N could not recognize Mikasa Ackerman, even though she should have for knowing her for so long. They were roommates along with a few others including Sasha Braus since the Cadet Corp. We could have Mikasa walk by Y/N and see if she reacts, says hello or recognizes her slightly. If she doesn’t we could try having Mikasa approach her and have a light conversation to jog her memory. 

“Another thing I noticed was Y/N feels calm around Sasha Braus. Whether it's because they are long term friends or because of That Day. According to Sasha, she was the one that killed Hecate when she was torturing Y/N. We could conclude that subconsciously Y/N remembers Sasha saving her.

“One last hypothesis. I was thinking if Eren Jaeger was around Y/N. She would not think about where Eren could be as that was the information Hecate was trying to get from us.” Hange suggested. “I recognize these ‘tests’ do require the efforts of others, that are not mandatory. But I know they would want to help Y/N.” 

“How long do you think expect her friends to help her?” Commander Erwin asked. 

“With all due respect, I am not the doctor. I am just summarizing her social behavior. I can only help, but I can not solve anything.” Hange said and then there was silence in the room. A sense of apprehensiveness to speak. They were ignoring what needed to be said. 

“ . . . Levi, there’s a hospital in the capital that specializes—”

“Are you suggesting shipping off Y/N? She was lucid for almost a month. She’s improving.” Levi said sharply. Erwin let out a deep breath and decided to pin that suggestion for later. 

Your fourth lucid episode was two months after. Levi was worried that you were slowly dying and not going to have another lucid episode. When you did . . . it was the worst behavior to deal with. Hange and Levi had to restrain you while Moblit attempted to sedate you with a syringe. You scratched Hange’s face with your engagement ring.

As the day went on you felt tired. Though you did enjoy hanging and conversing with Mikasa, Eren and Armin. You were starting to feel out of it. Dinner was starting to be served and more of your friends came into the dining hall. 

“If I get you food will you eat it?” Levi asked.

“I’m just tired.” You said. It felt like a long day. Your social battery was starting to become drained. 

“You should eat, Y/N” Eren said. 

“Yeah we’re all going to get food. I think there’s soup.” Armin added. 

“I already had soup today.” You said, lethargically

“Are you saying F/N L/N has a limit on soup?!” A bright voice said behind you. You turned around and a jolt of energy burst from you as you sprung up to hug Sasha.

“SASHA!” Levi and Hange laughed. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while!”

“Is soup all you had today?” Sasha asked, but it seemed like she was more asking Hange. 

“I would like for her to eat more.” Hange said to Sasha. 

“Then let’s get in line I’m starving” Sasha grabbed your wrist and you guys went into the line. 

During dinner, Levi’s heart swelled watching you be with your friends. It was the first in a while where you were smiling and laughing with them. Jean told stupid jokes that made you laugh hard. You laughed so hard you cried. Sasha gave you some of her soup so you could eat more. Armin didn’t say much, but he enjoyed seeing you alive and healthy. Levi thought your smile was so warm and watching you from where he sat it was like he was seeing you for the first time again. 

Your laugh, your smile and you being with your friends. Levi remembers being so shy and nervous to talk to you. Your courage and initiation to talk to Levi is what started the relationship. He glanced at the ring on your finger. He just knew. Denied it to himself, Levi thought he was ridiculous for knowing he was going to marry you only after interacting with you a limited amount of times. But you were just so considerate of him and caring for him. He never had someone like him for him. He closed his eyes and tried not to cry. He was grateful you were in his life. Levi was going to be by yourside for the entire time you needed to heal. He will marry you. 

“Levi? Are you okay?” Hange asked. He opened his eyes and saw you intently listening to Eren’s story. 

“I just . . . want to marry her.” He said.

After you were done eating. You braided Sasha’s hair and then Mikasa stood behind you and braided yours. You french braided Sasha’s and Mikasa was also giving you a french braid. When you and Mikasa were done braiding. Mikasa sat down in front of you and you started braiding her hair. 

“Hange! I could braid your hair!” Sasha turned excitedly to Levi and Hange’s table. Hange raised her eyebrows.

“No! I want to braid her hair!” You said to Sasha.

“Oh come on please!” Sasha begged. 

“HANGE LET US BRAID YOUR HAIR! YOU WOULD LOOK SO CUTE WITH PIGTAILS. ” You demanded and Levi laughed. You dropped her hair and walked over to Hange, you started pulling her wrist but she was holding onto the table. “SASHA GRAB HER OTHER WRIST!” Sasha laughed and you both pulled Hange over to the other table. 

“Fine! Just normal, nothing fancy.” Hange appeased and sat down at your table. 

“You braid Mikasa’s hair. I want to do Hange’s.” You said. Then you started pulling out her ponytail and brushing it with your fingers. “Jeez, your hair is knotty.” Levi smiled. You braided her hair into pigtails and looked over at Sasha braiding Mikasa’s hair. “You look so cute, Mikasa!” Mikasa blushed. “Awe Hange you look so cute, too!” 

“We’ll all have braided hair, now!” Sasha said excitedly. 

“Jean needs to draw us!” You said. “Quick, we need to get a pencil and paper!” Jean froze with a spoon almost to his mouth. 

“When did I sign up for this?” He laughed. 

“Just do a quick one!” Mikasa said. Molblit handed Jean a blank sheet of paper and his pencil. He smiled. He did want to remember this moment. 

“Okay bunch up. Have Sasha and Hange stand behind you two.” You and Mikasa had an arm around each other and Hange and Sasha hugged you two from behind. It took a little, but you still chatted and talked with the rest of the table. Except for when Jean asked you all to smile. Then he let you get out of the pose. He continued drawing though and after a while he folded the paper twice. Then licked among the folds and split the paper into four. “Ladies of the braid. I have your drawing.” Jean handed Mikasa a fourth of a paper with a drawing of the four of you with your braids. Then handed you another fourth with the same drawing copied over. 

“Jean, you drew it four times?” You asked and Jean handed the last fourths of the paper to Hange and Sasha. The four of you lined up the drawings you received by the ripped folds. You all had the same drawing of the four of you smiling with your hair in braids. 

“You’re an amazing artist, thank you, Jean.” Hange said admiring the drawing. 

“Thanks, Jean!” Sasha brightly said. Mikasa picked up the pencil Jean was using from the table. 

“Y/N, hand me your drawing really quick.” She put your drawing on the table and wrote something on an open space of the drawing. Then she gave you the paper back. You looked at what Mikasa wrote. In elegant penmanship was written: Sasha, Hange, Mikasa and Y/N. 

“You have such nice handwriting, Mikasa.” You said and she smiled hopefully at you. Then you hugged Jean and thanked him for the drawing. You happily strolled to Levi and showed him the drawing. It was like the drawing Hange showed him a moment ago. Except yours had the names written. Levi recognized it was the same handwriting from the other drawing. 

5th Debriefing Session:

“We need to have a tough conversation,” Commander Erwin started. “When looking at the big picture of Y/N’s health. We are nearing the 6th month mark . . . Levi, the Survey Corps can only do so much . . . evaluating her when the one year mark—” Levi abruptly stood up with a loud screech from his chair. He began to walk toward the doors. “Hange wants to help Y/N! Her friends want to and are willing to help, but—” Levi ripped the door open.

“If you want to send her to a hospital in Mitras. Honorably discharge me. I’ll go with my wife.” Levi slammed the door. 

“Okay Hange. Yeah, okay.” Levi closed the door on Hange. He just wanted to spend some alone time with you. You carefully walked to the table while holding two cups of tea and gently on the table. For a moment you reminded him of his mother. You were so elegant and when you smiled at Levi his felt happy that you were his. He had love in his life and he was going to take care of you just like you have always taken care of him. He fondly looked at you and then he approached you and hugged you. You were his just like he knew he was yours. No matter what. “Sit, I want to get something.” He said and went off to the corner where he had a small bookshelf. He grabbed a leatherbound journal and a pencil. He put it in front of you. “Here.” You stared at it.

“What—”

“Remember it’s your journal. You haven’t written in it in a long time though. I want you to write an entry.” Levi gently said then he grabbed the drawing Jean gave you and he leaned it against some books on the bookshelf. 

“Oh yeah . . . I forgot . . . I used to write everyday. I had like 8 journals . . .” You trailed off.

“Yea, you wanted to keep a record of your life. Maybe write how you feel or just what went on today. I think the last entry you wrote was near when we got engaged.” Levi said. 

“ . . .we’re engaged?” You asked confused. Levi closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He tried to keep the mood light.

“Just a little entry.” He sat down next to you and sipped on his tea carefully. You smiled and started writing about your day. “Then we could go to sleep early.” Levi enjoyed sleeping with you because he had poor sleeping habits. But when you slept next to him he got a few more hours. He gave you a kiss on the cheek and you turned to kiss him again on the lips. His admiration for you only grew watching you write in your journal. These little moments are everything he has to accept for now.

“I don’t know what else to write . . .” You said lightly. Thoughts came into your mind and then disappeared. “I’m sorry.” Levi offered you his hand and when you took he gently helped you stand up and walked towards the bed. He then held your hand to his heart.

“Let’s lay down.” Levi said.

“Can I have a back massage?” You ask. Levi does his best to give you a shoulder massage, he carefully does his best to not hurt you, but he wants to relieve you of all pain. Levi tried to be as careful because to him you were so delicate and fragile looking. He wanted you to relax and be with him.  

“Is this okay . . .?” He asked.

“Keep going.” You ordered and he obeyed then smiled. He moved down your back, pressing little circles into your back and along your spine. 

“Let’s go brush our teeth and go—” Levi said, pulling away. 

“No more.” You put his hand back on your shoulders. He gave you a couple more seconds of massaging.

“Okay no more, your majesty.” He said. You jumped on him which took him by surprise. You attempt to pin him down on the bed and Levi let you. You kissed his forehead and he looked up at you fondly. Youre eyes looked so pretty. You trailed your hands slowly on Levi’s chest, feeling his carved muscles. You placed one of his hands on your thighs and you ran your fingers in his hair. To Levi you are everything. He reached towards your face and then touched your braid. “Let’s go to sleep.” You kissed him and fisted his shirt. Levi pulled away, “Y/N . . .”

“Please . . .” you mewled into his ear softly, knowing this is what gets to him. You put more pressure on him, feeling him getting harder. You tucked some of his fringe behind his ears. You looked into his steel grey eyes and the eye contact was making you feel heat in yourself, you haven’t felt in a while. You grinded your hips and Levi was starting to breathe heavily. “ . . . Levi,” you moaned, you knew it drove him crazy. “I love you so much.”

“I’m in love with you.” Levi said to you. You looked so pretty.  

“We haven’t . . . made love in a while.” You said and continued to grind on him and Levi was thinking of the pleasure’s he could have with you. He hasn't felt your body in a long time and Levi wanted to feel you wrapped around him. He wanted to hear you whimper in his ear. But clarity came to the forefront. 

“I can’t take advantage of you . . .” He said quietly.

“You’re not, I want you.” You started taking off your shirt. Levi stopped you. Pulling your shirt down. He sat up and hugged you, smelling you. 

“Y/N I can’t . . . please let’s go to sleep.” You pulled away and gave him another kiss.

“Ok.” 

When you slept next to Levi, he felt it easier to relax. His muscles untensed and he found it easier to fall asleep. Levi had terrible sleeping habits before you and when you slept next to him for the first time he realized you helped him. He slept a good six hours with you next to him. Levi realized you brought him a sense of peace and you always were positive and good natured. 

You always had taken good care of him, sometimes he saw his mom in you. You reminded him that he was worthy of love and he saw you as someone who wanted to give love to your friends. He admired that you made friends wherever you went. He knew how much your friends love you and you saw them as your family. Your kind heart is what drew people in. Levi was glad you had a large support system, something he didn’t have in life. He recognized that he wanted to marry you when he realized that you made up an entire family for him. He trusted that you would always be there for him and you were so supportive and loving. You made him laugh so much, feeling joy in life. 

Levi half asleep rolled over, he felt the bed empty. He sat up and he was alone. He heard you in the dark room whimpering quietly. He saw your dark silhouette on the floor against the wall. His heart dropped, more time he begged.

“Please,” you begged quietly. Levi cautiously approached you. “No, please don’t” You said as he got closer. He grabbed a syringe off of the table. 

“Y/N. It’s Levi.” He said almost pleading.

“NO!” You pleaded. Holding your hand out to him as if that was going to stop him. He started to feel tears in his eyes, this was the first time he had to do this alone. There was a hope that you just had a bad nightmare and you needed comfort.

“Come back to me . . .” He said. You screamed loudly and it pierced his ears. He had to jump on you. You thrashed and one of his tears landed on you. You slapped him and pushed Levi. He grunted. 

“Y/N!” He said, pining one of your arms against the wall. 

“NO! PLEASE DONT!” You cried out and screamed again. Levi used his weight to hold down your legs. He set the syringe down and did his best to pull your pants down. You panicked and fought him. “STOP! I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!” You pulled up your knee and tried to hit Levi in the croch. Levi cried. You were weak and Levi was much stronger than you. He managed to get a good surface of your thigh showing. You managed to get another slap on his face and he grunted. You screamed loudly, a cry in desperation. You whailed hoping someone would hear you and help you. 

“Please—”

“PLEASE STOP!” You screamed, he winced at the volume going into his ear. He picked up the syringed and shot it into your leg. You screamed and Levi looked at you in the eyes hoping to find you somewhere. You looked at him in desperation, pleading to spare you. Levi had to hold you down until you got physically worn out, he cried waiting for you to go unconscious. When you were weak. He hugged you, he knew you needed help. This was the life he was dealt with. 

Before he left his room, he laid you on his bed and pretended you were only sleeping. This time was so short again. What else could Levi do to help you? He knocked on the door and waited for a while. His eyes were puffy and his face was stained with tears. He knocked again and the door finally opened. Hange still had her pigtail braids in. Levi held up his empty syringe.

“Levi . . .” Hange said tiredly then she saw the syringe. 

“Y/N’s in my room.” Levi said dismaly. Hange leaned her head against the doorframe and sighed. 

“I’ll get Dr. Yates.” She said.

That Day:

They were in a large room of a house. The windows were large and revealed that there were no other buildings nearby. They were almost in the middle of nowhere. Somewhere northwest Wall Rose. One of Hecate’s men was holding a knife to Hange’s throat. Another was holding you by your waist and had a knife to your back. Levi and Erwin were on their knees and tied up. With another guy standing behind them. Hecate walked back and forth between the four of you. Her heels being the prominent sound on the hardwood floor. 

“I recognize you, scout regiment. You know where Eren Jaeger is. So which one of you is going to tell me where he is?” She said toyingly. She has been wanting to kill Eren for years. She came close to killing him twice. She played with the knife in her hand. “Commander Erwin . . . top dog. Leader of the scout regiment. Tell me.” She bent down to level with him. He stayed silent. Hecate grabbed his hair and yanked his head back then sliced into his collarbone. Erwin groaned, gritting his teeth. You grimacing looked away. 

“We don’t know where Eren is.” Erwin said lowly.

“Liar. Tell me where he is.” She said and Erwin didn’t respond. She kicked him in the balls and he let out a gutteral groan and fell on his side. The scouts were on their way, though there was no hope of getting out of the situation. They needed to get here before everyone was dead. Erwin painfully coughed. Then she walked over his body. 

“What about you?” She stood over Levi. He said nothing. You couldn’t help but watch what she was going to do to Levi. She grabbed his shirt and yanked him up. “Are you going to tell me, handsome?” You felt a rage, but your fear was more developed. You knew Levi wasn’t going to spill even if he was beaten to death. The four of you wouldn’t. She slapped Levi and you closed your eyes.

“That’s Captain Levi born from the underground. He’s not going to talk.” The guy behind Erwin and Levi gruffly said.

“Huh, that's so?” She looked at Levi and pushed him face forward to the ground. She lifted up his shirt revealing his back and dug the knife into him. “I’ll ask you one more time. Where is Eren?” You heard Levi muffly groan as Hecate dug the knife across his back. Beads of blood bursing from the cut. “Come on, Captain, I want answers.”

“I’m not answering you, bitch.” Levi spat at her. You raised your eyebows when you saw some of his blood. You wanted to tell Levi to not make her angry, but you stayed silent. She stood up from him and looked at him. 

“Huh, of course, Captain.” She kicked his face. You jerked, “I believe you.” She laughed. She glanced over at you and Hange. Your heart pulsed. She strolled over to you two while wiping her knife. “I know how the dynamics work, captain . . . your attempt to provoke me? I’ve seen it a thousand times. You’re not gonna talk.” You felt your heart in your throat when she eyes you and Hange. “But one of you will.” You kept your eyes down. She stood in front of Hange. “No need for that . . .” She said to the man holding Hange. He took the knife from her throat and put it in her back. “You’re quite pretty.” Hange scowled at her. Hecate took Hange’s glasses off then threw them on the ground then crushed her glasses with her boot. She kicked her in the stomach. She recoiled, the wind being knocked out of her and the man holding Hange caused her to not fall over. Tears started building in your eyes. “Tell me where Eren is and you and your friends will be left alone.” Hange said nothing. Hecate slapped Hange. She whimpered. “Tell me what I want to know. Where is Eren Jaeger?” Hange sniffled. Hecate breathed impatiently then looked at the ground she picked up a sharp glass edge from Hange’s glasses. Then lifted a part of her shirt and jabbed the glass into Hange’s abdomen. She cried out loudly and whimpered. Choking for air trying to regulate her breathing. Hecate walked over to you. You continued looking at the ground, noticing some blood was on her shoe. “Why are you crying? Do you not like seeing your friends get hurt?” She taunted. She slapped you. You yelped and some of your hair got in your face. “We don’t have to do this, you know. Let me know darling, where is Eren Jaeger?” You stayed silent. A tear rolled down your cheek begging that the scouts would save you four. She swiped the blade onto your collarbone. Blood drew from your cut. You moaned and whimpered. “Answer me. Or you’ll get another cut.” She grabbed you by your shirt and pointed the knife to your abdomen.

“Stop, she doesn’t know.” Hange huffed out. Hecate turned her attention on Hange. Then glanced at you.

“Bring Commander Erwin Smith over here, would you?” Hecate asked and the man brought a stumbling Erwin over in front of Hange. He made Erwin kneel. “Commander these pretty girls are your subordinates?” Erwin stayed silent looking at the ground. Hecate slapped him. “So fucking rude not to answer my question.” She went toward you and kicked you, knocking the wind out of you, making you fall to the ground. The man who was holding you put his foot on your side. You felt paralyzed and then the pain set in. “Where is Eren Jaeger? or these girls will get it.”

“I don’t know.” Erwin said.

“You do know.” Hecate said and then sliced a cut into Hange’s collar bones. She whimpered. “Tell me what I want.” She was starting to lose her patience. 

“Leave them alone, bitch,” Levi with a strained voice said. Hecate kicked you in the chest and forced you to let out a cry. 

“Say that again, Captain? I didn’t hear you. Get her up.” The man forced you to sit up. She knelt in front of you and Hange eyed both of you. You couldn’t hide your tears. “This time it’s your choice . . . which one will get my knife?” A tear dripped onto the floor in front of you. “Hmm?”  Hange swallowed and wheezed.

“Me. Just give—” Hecate cut your arm instead of Hange’s, making you shriek. You cried out, not being able to hold it in. You breathed hard. Erwin winced at the sight of you two. 

“Once again, you or you?” Hange and you stayed silent. She sighed and kicked you to the floor again. 

“She doesn’t know anything! Stop it!” Hanged yelled. Hecate grabbed Hange’s hair, forcing her head back. 

“I see . . . you care for her . . . ” She let go of Hange’s head. Then she stood in front of you. “Where’s Eren Jaeger?” She asked Hange. She then held down the same arm she cut into earlier. Hecate started cutting into your arm next to the other one. You screamed trying to thrash your legs, but the man was holding you down. When she was done slicing you, you sobbed into the floor. Hecate sighed. “Take them downstairs.” One of the man jerked you and Hange up. You couldn’t look at anyone. The one man forced Levi up and his nose was bloody. The last man got Erwin up and he was stumbling and wincing trying to keep up with the man. Hange coughed and her vision was blurry. They pulled you toward an area where the stairs went down. Levi was the first forced down the steps. “Hold on.” Everyone froze anticipating what Hecate was going to say. “I want to ask her some questions,” she pointed at you. Hange’s eyes went wide as she felt another man grabbing her. She watched as the man who was holding both of you, pushed you back towards Hecate.

“NO! WAIT! TAKE ME INSTEAD! LEAVE HER ALONE!” Hange, Erwin and Levi were pushed down the stairs by the other man. You went out of sight and Hange noticed Levi glaring at her. The men threw them in a cell, locking it and walking back upstairs. 

“Levi, untie my restraints,” Commander Erwin whispered. Levi turned around and tried his best to untie the knot while not being able to see it. Hange started crying again sitting down. Then Commander Erwin untied Levi who was pissed. He walked over to Hange and grabbed her shirt. 

“YOU IDIOT!” Levi couldn’t care about his volume. “HOW STUPID COULD YOU BE?! YOU NEVER SHOW—” Hange jerked away from his grasp.

“I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT Y/N!” Hange said harshly 

“DIDN’T WORK—”

“—I WOULD RATHER IT BE ME THAN HER!” Hange said. As Levi was about to retort back, the three of them heard you scream above them. Hange’s heart pounded and she started crying. Levi took off one of his shoes and threw it against the wall angrily. Erwin started untying Hange. She slid down the wall crouching into a ball. They could hear you begging.

“NO! NO, PLEASE!” Then they heard you scream louder. Hange put her fingers in her ears, she closed her eyes. The special operations squad should come any moment. Hange then felt a pull on her shirt, again. Levi with a bloody face and a fire in his eyes was holding her. 

“YOU FUCKING IDIOT. THE MOMENT YOU OPENED YOUR MOUTH. I KNEW THEY WOULD PICK HER!” Levi sneered.

“LEVI!” Erwin pulled Levi off Hange. Another scream was heard above.

“I was trying to get her to hurt me instead of Y/N!” Hange sobbed. 

“Because you opened your mouth she knew you cared about her! The moment you do that they’ll torture her to get you to fucking talk!” Levi said. “My fiance is going to die BECAUSE OF YOU!” He pushed Hange into the wall. 

“GET AWAY FROM HER!” Erwin asserted himself in front of Levi. “ENOUGH PULL IT TOGETHER! WE NEED TO THINK . . . let's look around and try to get out.” Levi put on his shoe and Hange covered her face, sobbing. 

“STOP! PLEASE! NO!” They heard you above them. Hange got up and started coughing. She went into the corner gagging. Hange threw up in the corner. Levi kicked the cell door, it clanked and didn’t budge. About ten minutes later. It was quiet. They didn’t hear you screaming and they didn’t hear yelling from Hecate. Suddenly they heard soft footsteps descending from the stairs. Hange’s hope rose only for it to deplete when Hecate walked up to them. The knife she was holding was covered in blood

“Comfy?” Hecate taunted. They couldn’t look at her. “Terrible of you to not do anything about your friend . . . hey gorgeous!” Hange ignored her. “Fine . . . Anyone want to tell me where Eren is?” She started backing away, smirking. “I’ll just ask your friend.” She walked back up the stairs.

“Where are they?” Hange whispered frustratedly. Levi leaned with his arm against the wall. He was facing the wall, the pressure was building in his nose and he was blinking away any tears forming in his eyes. They heard a thud and they heard you screaming above them, Hange plugged her ears. She continued crying. The three had dried blood on them and they stayed helpless in the cell. They heard you scream, beg and cry for a while longer. Hange felt paralyzed listening to you scream. She couldn’t think of a way to save you or them. To her it was her fault, she shouldve kept her mouth shut. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if she kept her mouth shut. She hugged her knees. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. She glanced at Levi who had his forehead against his arm. In the distance they heard shattering, then some yelling. “Commander Erwin, THEY’RE HERE!” Levi turned around. There was a large boom above them and more screams and yells. Then suddenly rapid footsteps were descending the stairs. Moblit and Jean appeared. 

“Section Commander!” Moblit exclaimed then he noticed the blood on Levi’s face and Erwin’s cuts. 

“How’s Y/N?” Erwin demanded. 

“Let us out!” Hange screamed. 

“HOWS Y/N!?” Levi yelled. Jean unlocked the door with the key from one of Hecate’s men. Levi ran out of the cell and dashed up the stairs, Hange followed after him. Hecate was dead on the ground and scattered on the floor were her men. Levi saw you slumped against the wall, Sasha was holding you. You had no pants on and instead there was blood dripping on your legs. Multiple long cuts down the length of your legs. 

“Captain!” Sasha exclaimed. “Captain, her pulse is faint.” Levi caressed you. Your eyes were closed and your head was nodded out. “I think she’ll need stitches.” He shook you a little waiting for a response. He was revolted at what Hecate did to you. He let anger get to him, gritted his teeth then went over to Hecate’s dead body and kicked her four times, grunting. 

“Levi!” Hange pulled him away and Levi pushed her off of him. Hange saw Mikasa crying at the sight of you with Armin comforting you. Levi went over you and Sasha. 

“She’ll need stitches, she lost a lot of blood. We need to get her to a hospital somewhere.”

“Sasha knows how stitch wounds.” Levi said.

“I don’t have any supplies.” Sasha said defeatedly. Connie ran into the room.

“I found a small first aid kit.” Connie said, panting. “We can clean her up and use whatever we can for now.” Sasha dashed over to Connie grabbing the first aid kit. 

“Captain Levi, are you wounded? There’s a bunch of blood on your back.” Moblit asked. 

“And on my face. Y/N is more important right now.” Levi said, his voice breaking. He could not lose another person he loves. 

6th Debriefing Session:

Levi didn’t want to sit. He listened to Hange and Dr. Yates relayed the details to Commander Erwin. His time with you this time felt so short. This time was the most you, you have been since That Day. He stared at the window. Having the trees fill his vision. Watching some scouts walk by or sit on the grass. The sunset was emitting an orange sky. Your favorite. Erwin was right. 

Levi leaned his forehead against the glass and closed his eyes. There was nothing left, but to wait for the next episode. Levi didn’t mean to zone out. His frustrated thoughts were consuming him and he was with you the whole time. He was defeated and didn’t know how to take the next steps. 

It felt like there was no improvement. As he gazed out the window, there were no positive thoughts. This was the life he was dealt. He abruptly turned around making Hange pause. 

“What is it, Levi?” She asked softly. He looked at the ground while walking past the table. Pressure building in his nose, his eyes starting to gloss over. He looked over his shoulder locking eyes with Erwin who had a sympathetic expression. With everything he had in him, he tried not to break.

“Start t-the paperwork, commander,” Levi did not win. 

Three weeks later:

Hange cautiously walked into your medical room. She held the door until it closed with a quiet click. She heard faint beeping and it was quiet. She knew Levi was behind the curtain sitting with you.

“I know it’s you, four-eyes.” Levi said shakenly. Hange walked around the curtain. Levi sat in a chair next to your bed. His arms were crossed and he was leaning back into the chair comfortably. Levi’s eyes were red and puffy. He looked at Hange and she saw the desperation in his eyes. Though he was sitting, there was no one around and so she stepped forward and hugged him. Levi nuzzled his face into her shoulder. Hidden, even though there was no one to hide from. Hange softly rubbed Levi’s back. 

“In the morning, right?” She asked.

“Yes . . .'' Levi pulled away from Hange and he stared at you. You looked like you were sleeping. He stood up from his chair and offered Hange his seat. They looked at you for a while. Both filled with thoughts. One thought after another. Begged for a change of fate. “Do me a favor . . .” Levi said and Hange didn’t look at him. “Stop blaming yourself . . .'' Hange put her face into her hands. “ . . . I was an asshole that day. I was wrong for calling you an idiot. Nothing was ever your fault”

“Levi . . .” she did her best to muffle her crying. “I thought if I could make it seem like I knew where Eren was . . . they would leave her alone . . . If only they questioned me instead . . .”

“Stop talking like that.” Levi said defeatedly. “I’ve forgiven you and you need to start forgiving yourself.” She sniffled.

“I wish I wasn’t losing my best friend . . .” Hange said and they looked at each other, knowingly. Years they have relied on each other and built years of trust. “And you.” They laughed. Hange wiped a tear from her eye.  

“Y/N would want you to visit.” Hange smiled.

“She would want all her friends to visit.” Hange said thinking of Sasha, Mikasa, Armin, Eren, Jean, Connie, Christa, and anyone she saw Y/N sharing joyful moments with. Everyone liked her, even Annie. 

“You don’t need to ask, drop by when you’re available. You could stay with us.” Levi said. 

“I will . . . I want to be there with her.” Hange whispered. She gasped because she saw your hand jolt. It was more than a twitch, Hange stood up anticipating for any more movement. “Her hand moved! She can hear us.” Levi grabbed your hand and they both hovered over you. Waiting for any other sign of consciousness. You did not move. Hange brushed your hair with her fingers. “ . . . Y/N, It’s Hange . . . If you can hear me, I love you so much . . .” No movement. No twitching or any indication of consciousness. “I’ll visit you when I can . . .” 

In the morning, Levi and you started traveling to Mitras. Erwin and Darius Zackly ensured to put you in one of the top hospitals in Mitras. Fortunatly you did improve. Your lucid episodes started becoming longer and the periods inbetween shortened. You were not triggered as much. Levi was by your side most of the time.

 Two and a half years later after That Day you, Levi, and the psychologists hit a huge milestone. For six months you were lucid, your triggers no longer  made you panic, scream and kick. You didn’t need to be sedated. You were able to relay the details of That Day without being triggered. Levi was allowed to take you out of the hospital and live togehter in the city. That day was now a painful memory. You didn’t cry when remembering it. Every now and then you would have nightmares about That Day, but when Levi woke you up you knew you were safe. You would calm down and then go back to sleep. 

Two years and nine months after that day, Levi and you officially were married. Though he already considered you his wife, he was elated that it was official. Friends who visited you in the hospital were there. Most of the scouts who you knew attended. Commander Erwin was happy to see you healthy and happy to see Levi happier. Everyone mentioned how happy they were to see you healthy and like your old self. You met Sasha’s boyfriend, Niccolo at the wedding. But when she showed you a ring on her finger you met her fiance. You cheered and jumped up and down excitedly. You planned to hang out for a day with Mikasa and Sasha. Eren wanted to come, but Mikasa told him no. 

Three years after that day, you barely thought of that day. You were free spirited and started to enjoy reading again. You mostly stayed home, cleaning, cooking and doing hobbies. Sometimes when the scouts were in town you’d invite your friends over for dinner. Most of the time you had a quiet and peaceful life. 

Three years and two months later, Levi brought up the idea that he would return to the Survey Corps. You were confused and almost begging him to not return. You didn’t want something to happen to him while he was away with the scouts. You absolutely did not want to go back. You wanted Levi to stay with you and continue the peaceful life you had with him. He agreed that he had everything he wanted. A home, a beautiful wife, a peaceful life on the surface, but he felt like he had a duty to fulfill. That he needed to payback Commander Erwin for helping him with everything he’s done. 

It took a while for you to come around, but you wanted Levi to feel fulfilled. You knew he was capable of doing everything he could to survive. You knew he would come back to you. 

Three and a half years after that day, Levi returned to being Captain of the special operations squad. You would visit each other in your free time. Sometimes you felt lonely, but you lived a peaceful and safe life which is what Levi wanted for you. 

Thank you for reading through the editing mistakes. It takes a good 50 mins to read through this whole story and I just need to study for finals rn LOL

Also i know the villians are random. Lol originally they were going to be Zeke Peick and Galliard but i couldnt imagine them doing shit that dark LMAO

masterlist

[sallage]

Red

The Unexpected Fight Series

Part 3

Warning: This is a tickle fic! - Crossed boundaries and ignored safe word.

Summary: With a renewed sense of determination, Bakugo prepares for his first round of training with Kirishima. Set up like an interrogation, Bakugo must try to withstand the pressure and make it through the full 20 minutes without giving in or giving up.

Pairing: Lee Bakugo, Ler Kirishima 

Words: 4,372

Reading Time: 17 Minutes 

A/N: So I lied and posted this earlier then I said I would which technically is still super late. I’ll admit I did not proof read this so it might be sloppy but I finished it and wanted it out there haha.

I'm going to sound like a broken record but I'm probably never going to be fully okay with the stories I post. I'll always be wishing I could either pump more into it, be more descriptive, stay true to characters, or add more dialogue. There will always be something I wish I can do or change, but then I wouild never post anything.

Anyways I hope you all enjoy! LOL

Read more ∘₊✧ Here ✧₊∘

Bakugo scowled at the clock as the minutes ticked by with relentless consistency. His gaze was unwavering in its focus as his eyes fixed on the hands, watching as they spun around the clock face in a slow revolution.

With each passing minute, the dread of meeting up with Kirishima for training weighed heavier and heavier upon his shoulders, and though he tried to resist, he could feel the pressure mounting for him to leave, sooner rather than later.

With the encounter in the forest still fresh in his mind, Bakugo felt a surge of renewed energy running through his body. There was a new fire burning within him, an intense and searing flame that would not be easily extinguished.

A knock at the door pulled Bakugo out of his introspective thoughts and set him on a trajectory for confrontation. He threw open the door, his aggressive eyes immediately finding Deku in the doorway, hand still stuck in the knocking position. Their gazes locked in a tense moment before Deku slowly lowered his hand.

“Hey,” Deku took a moment, choosing his words carefully. “I’m just reminding you about training. You should have left already.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Bakugo narrowed his eyes. “I know what time it is.”

He closed the door behind him and walked out.

Midoriya followed close behind. 

“We’re working on endurance today. We’re going to give you a code and you have to hold onto it for 20 minutes.” 

Bakugo’s scowl was his only response.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, the two rivals a healthy distance between one another before Midoriya worked up the nerve to speak again.

“I know this is… not what you’re used to,” Midoriya sighed, looking for words that wouldn’t get him pummeled. “Anyway, we’re all here for you.”

“Just… shut up.” Bakugo cringed. The lack of angst in his voice wasn't lost on Midoriya. His friend was nervous and didn't want to be catered to.

 After walking in silence for a bit longer, one sideways glance at the blonde told him all he needed to know about what his friend was silently wondering. 

“It’s at Ground Beta in one of the buildings towards the end of the campus. We got permission to use it and it’s far enough away that no one will hear you.” 

Bakugo scoffed but Midoriya swore he saw a bit of tension leave the blonde’s shoulders.

They walked the rest of the way in silence.

—

Once inside the building, they walked down a flight of stairs and entered the basement where Kirishima and Kaminari were lounging on a couple of bean bags playing Nintendo switches.

The boys paused their game and greeted them with energetic hellos. Bakugo looked past them and saw a random table next to a thick metal chair positioned right in the middle of the room with wrist and ankle cuffs attached to the arms and legs.

He resisted the urge to react as a bolt of nervous energy speared through him.

“Where’s Sero and Todoroki?” Midoriya wondered.

An irritated sigh sounded next to him.

“We figured Bakugo didn’t want people watching him get absolutely wrecked.” Kaminari teased with a smug smile, earning a growl from Bakugo. “Kiri lugged the chair up and I brought the bean bags and Switches. I guessed you were going to be late.”

“Besides,” Kirishima started before Bakugo could retort. “Todoroki’s got the next one, they’re going to be sparring.”

Bakugo’s lips quirked at that. He could already picture himself blasting that half and half bastard into oblivion.

“Bakugo!” Kaminari waved to get his attention. “You got your murder eyes on!” 

Bakugo looked at Kaminari and then back to Kirishima. “You idiots don’t expect me to sit in that.” He jerked his chin towards the center of the room.

Kirishima’s face tightened. “Yeah, sorry man. All that matters is that it can hold you without breaking or moving. It’s pretty heavy duty.” 

Bakugo clicked his tongue. “Whatever.” 

Midoriya clapped his hands. “I’m going to head back. I’ll see you guys after!” He waved as he exited the room. 

“Hey, wait up!” Kaminari put a hand on Bakugo’s shoulder, leaned in and whispered something into Bakugo’s ear. With another encouraging slap that earned a sneer, Kaminari disappeared up the stairs after Midoriya.

Once the sound of their footfalls faded, Kirishima turned to Bakugo.

“Alright!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together and gesturing towards the chair. “Let’s get started!”

Bakugo stood firm in his place, defiantly staring down at the chair and refusing to budge. He couldn't explain it, but he just could not bring himself to sit down. His body refused to obey the mental command. It was as if his pride and stubbornness had taken over and would not allow him to surrender to that damn chair.

“Bakugo,” Kirishima tilted his head. “You need to-” 

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do.” Bakugo snapped.

“Okay, then what’s stopping you?”

Bakugo's pride and stubbornness continued to war within him, keeping him on the brink of either giving in or resisting even further.

On one hand, a part of him could not bring himself to compromise his pride and dignity by losing control and being reduced to a blubbering mess in front of one of the only people he respected. And on the other hand, standing his ground and continuing to resist meant giving up completely and admitting defeat.

He was finding himself stuck in this weird state of limbo where he knew what he needed to do but physically could not make himself do it.

Kirishima was quick to notice the internal struggle that Bakugo was grappling with.

“We don’t have to do this.”

No responce.

Kirishima recognized that Bakugo's desire to not participate wasn’t a complete one. The blonde still stood there within the presence of the chair, which meant there was still some potential in convincing him to follow through. Kiri knew that all Bakugo needed was a slight push in the right direction.

Kirishima adopted a more challenging tone and delivered a playful smirk, knowing Bakugo's pride was the key. “I get why you might not want to do it. It might be too intense for you.”

Bakugo met kirishima’s stare, uncharacteristically quiet.

“I saw how you were in the forest,” Kirishima continued, shrugging. “If I were you, I probably couldn't handle it either. Lets go back.” He began walking towards the exit, but a quick glance over his shoulder confirmed that the other didn't follow.

Kirishima paused at the bottom of the stairs and crossed his arms over his chest.

Bakugo mumbled a few curses before walking up and plopping into the cold chair. Kirishima with a smile full of pride for his friend, rushed over to his side.

One look at the red head’s face and Bakugo was looking away with an eye roll. “This is just to prove your dumbass wrong.”

Kirishima shrugged and went to work, efficiently securing Bakugo's wrists and ankles to the four points of the chair. He took a few steps back to survey his work. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't resist letting out a slight chuckle at the scowl on Bakugo's face.

“Okay, try to get out.”

Bakugo grumbled and attempted to tug at the cuffs but the sturdy restraints didn’t give an inch. Bakugo's brows drew together as he wrenched at them harder. The cuffs were much sturdier than he anticipated, and he realized that the wiggle room he would typically get with thinner restraints was not an option due to the thick cuffs covering most of his wrists.

As he wrenched at them one more time, he was met with the same result and he realized that without the use of his quirk, he was truly stuck.

Bakugo felt a tug of uneasiness deep within him. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Was it doubt? Nervousness? Anxiety? Or was it something else altogether? He couldn't quite place it, but he knew it was something that he didn't particularly like.

Kirishima nodded encouragingly. “Ready?”

Bakugo attempted to maintain a bored and unbothered demeanor. “I’m not doing this role play garbage with you.”

Kirishima took out his phone and started the timer. 

Twenty Minutes.

He placed it on the table so they both could see it.

“We’re not roleplaying. Kaminari gave you a code and you’re not supposed to tell me.”

Bakugo scowled and tested the restraints again.

“I’ll ask nicely first,” 

Bakugo's face warped into a mix of a cringe and a scowl as Kirishima moved to stand directly in front of him.

“What did Kaminari tell you?”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “This is stupid.” 

Kirishima just smiled and patted his shoulder as he walked around the blonde’s chair. Bakugo found himself feeling a small twinge of relief as he no longer had to look at Kirishima, but this small comfort was soon replaced with a sensation of unease as Kirishima pushed two strong hands through the little gaps between the blonde’s sides and arms, leaving them poised to strike.

His body tensed.

But his expression remained unchanging as Kirishima pinched his sides repeatedly.

Even though Kirishima believed the blonde was just saving face, he was still surprised by the lack of reaction. He thought back to the forest, trying to remember what it was that initially set him off.

Then, it hit him.

He stopped the harsh poking and pinching and changed his approach, softly tracing his fingers over the fabric of Bakugo's shirt.

Bakugo's body stiffened and twitched as his muscles convulsed under the touch of Kirishima's tracing fingertips, which the red head took as a small victory.

There it was.

He continued the gentle approach, moving his tracing and scratching motions inward towards the the inner edges of Bakugo's sides where they turned into his stomach.

Bakugo's jaw was tight, then he bit down on the inside of his cheek. The gentle touch and light scribbles were making him flinch as his muscles began to twitch in response. Every time Kirishima's fingers moved across his skin, Bakugo's body reacted, causing him to bite his cheek harder to suppress them.

Kirishima's fingers shifted lower to Bakugo's waist and began teasing the space above his hips, right above the waistline of his pants, prompting the explosive blonde to let out a small twitch and perform some subtle micro-movements which Kirishima was quick to notice. Kirishima then moved his hands down to Bakugo's hips and hovered over them, motionless.

Bakugo clenched his teeth. “Stop messing with m-” 

Kirishima pressed his thumbs deep into Bakugo's hips, moving them in slow, deliberate circles. The intense and invasive prodding caused Bakugo to let out a soft groan before jerking his wrists and tugging at the cuffs in a moment of weakness.

Kirishima smiled triumphantly.

“I’m barely touching you, man.”

Kirishima found himself almost giddy with amusement, knowing he had the perfect thing to push Bakugo's buttons. Of course, he was well aware of Bakugo's fiery personality and explosive nature, but nothing had ever come close to shaking his composure or forcing him to let loose.

This newfound knowledge was proving to be quite valuable, and Kirishima couldn't help but wonder just how effective it would prove to be in keeping the unpredictable blonde in check in the future. It gave him a huge rush of accomplishment and satisfaction to realize how much he had thrown Bakugo's composure out the window with just the slight twitch of his fingers.

“Shut up.” Bakugo growled. 

Kirishima increased the pressure on his thumbs and sped up the movement, digging harder into Bakugo's hips. Bakugo's legs strained in effort and he let out a quick gasp, his breath starting to come in shorter and sharper inhales.

Kirishima didn’t even try to suppress the smirk on his face. “You just gotta tell me what Kaminari told you.” 

Bakugo could hear the amusement in Kirishima’s tone.

“What the hell are you smiling about?”

Kirishima snickered behind him and the blonde’s face grew red.

“Wipe that smirk off your damn face!”

Kirishima tutted. “You’re not really in a position to be making threats, you know.”

“You think I give a shit? I’ll wipe that stupid smirk off yo- GAH!”

Kirishima teased his way up towards the bottom of Bakugo's ribs, pushing past his attempt to speak. Bakugo tensed up and gripped the chair, awaiting the attack that-

Didn't come. 

Kirishima shifted, bringing his fingers back to Bakugo's hips and starting again with the slow, subtle, and teasing touches. Each time Kirishima seemed like he was beginning to attack Bakugo's ribs, he would quickly and smoothly transition back to the hips.

The constant shifting between the two points was causing Bakugo to flinch and spasm each time Kirishima faked out an attack.

The repetitive tickling motion was beginning to have a cumulative effect on Bakugo. The constant upward jerking of his body each time Kirishima's fingers danced closer to his ribs caused Bakugo's temper to flair.

Bakugo shouted out an expletive when Kirishima baited him yet again. Losing a toehold on his temper.

"Stop fucking with me," he shouted, his rage boiling over, "You're pissing me off!"

Bakugo was already on edge from the teasing and prodding, so when Kirishima shrugged and suddenly launched into an outright offensive attack on his lower rib cage, he let out a loud shout of surprise.

“FUHUCK!” Bakugo bit down on his lip and gritted his teeth as he struggled to hold in his laughter while Kirishima continued to relentlessly strike the soft and sensitive points on his lower rib cage.

Bakugo tried to cover the area by turning in his elbows, but he was tightly confined in place. Bakugo let out frustrated gasps and grunts in lieu of giggles as Kirishima continued to hit those sweet spots.

Kirishima was playing for keeps now, his expression serious and focused as he relentlessly pursued Bakugo's lower ribcage.

With his eyes starting to water from suppressing his laughter and the relentless attack from Kirishima's fingers, he glanced frantically around the room, searching for some type of distraction that could take his mind off the tickling. He set his eyes on Kirishima’s phone. 

Fifteen minutes left.

He knew that he was running out of time to keep any sort of composure and preserve any scrap of dignity he had left.

Unfortunately, Kirishima couldn't let that happen.

Kirishima adjusted his grip and spread out his fingers to provide himself with more of a surface area to work with. He quickly began to viciously burrow his fingers into Bakugo's ribcage, aggressively rubbing and vibrating them in a large circular motion with speed and intensity.

“AHHHAhahahaha!”

Bakugo arched his back and let out a loud burst of laughter, his restraint nearly completely broken as he was unable to hold back his reaction, caught off guard by Kirishima actually following through with the attack this time. 

Kirishima finally succeeded in pushing Bakugo close to the edge, and the explosive blonde’s embarrassment was evident in the way he wrenched at his bonds.

The red head was determined to see this through to the end, inching further and further up towards the spot he knew would make Bakugo spill all the marbles. The laughter became louder and more desperate as Kirishima moved closer to the sensitive area, causing Bakugo to struggle against the cuffs even harder.

Instead, Kirishima suddenly dropped his fingers back down to Bakugo's hips and started applying as much ticklish pressure as possible, pressing hard into the sensitive areas on the inside of the explosive blonde’s hips. Kirishima felt like he was getting close as Bakugo bucked and tried and failed to contain his laughter, spluttering and trying pull away from the excruciatingly ticklish sensations.

“ShihIHIHT! YOU MAHTHER FAHAHAHAKER! AGHH! STAHAHAHAP!”

“You know what you gotta tell me to make it stop!”

Bakugo continued to buck and pull on his arms and legs, desperate to get away from the maddening sensations. Kirishima continued his relentless attack on Bakugo's hips, keeping the pressure steady.

Bakugo could only manage a few inches of movement and Kirishima kept pace, not letting his friend have even a moment of respite.

“STAHAHAHHAP, KIRISHIMA DAMN IT! FAAAHAHAHAHAK!”

“Tell me!” Kirishima had to yell over Bakugo’s laughter so he could hear him. “Give it up and I’ll stop!”

Bakugo shook his head and slammed it against the headrest, his movements getting more desperate and wild as he tried to find some type of relief. Kirishima shifted himself forward and pushed his arms further through the gaps in the chair before moving down to the spaces below Bakugo's hips at the top of his thighs.

He used four fingers on each side to really dig into the ticklish blonde’s pelvis. Bakugo groaned as if he was experiencing some type of pain and tried to fold in on himself, lifting his shoulders only a few inches off of the backrest.

“AAAHHH! KIRISHIMA! DAMN IT STAHAHAHAHAHAP! ILL KIHIHIHIL YOU! AAHAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHO!”

“The code-”

“FAHAH- FUCK YOU! I CAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHNT REHEHAHAHAHAHAHA!” 

His laughter spiked when Kirishima squeezed his thighs, his voice getting hoarse.

“NOHOHOHO! SHIT STAHAHAHAP! WHAHAHT THE FAHAHAHAK!”

Kirishima stopped. Bakugo slumped, he felt sweat pool around his head and slide down his back. His eyes closed and his breathing was fast.

Time must have been up.

“Was- Was that tiiIIMMMAAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! NAAHAHAHAHA!”

Kirishima shoved his hands into the blonde’s armpits, causing his body to seize as if he had been struck by lightning. The intense and relentless rubbing and undulating of Kirishima's fingers caused a sensation that Bakugo did not expect, forcing him to let loose and release an unusually high-pitched scream as his body was overrun with intense, indescribable tickles.

The suddenness of Kirishima's move straight up overwhelmed Bakugo, and he struggled to clamp his arms down and move his body away, but the restraints simply would not budge. 

“AHHH! AHA AHAHAH NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

Kirishima watched Bakugo lose all composure. His laughter shifted to a grueling and desperate note, and Kirishima could see his resolve completely crumble when his eyebrows lifted and it looked like he was completely lost in the sensations. But Kirishima didn't relent, determined to tickle the information he needed out of his friend.

“RED! REHEHEHEHED! KIRISHIMA RED! I FAAHAHAHAHA- I FOHOHO- GAHAHAHAHA THAHAHA- NAAHAHAHA!”

Kirishima shook his head. Bakugo had the code and could easily end it at any instant, but he didn’t, instead using his safe word as a cop out.

Kirishima decided that he would have to give the code and only the code, admitting full defeat in the challenge, or Kirishima would continue until he truly gave up or until the twenty minutes were up.

He refused to give the blonde any kind of bragging rights, especially if he didn't deserve it. 

“Come on, man! You know you need to give up the code!”

Bakugo shook his head and repeatedly slammed his shoulders against the backrest. “STAHAHAHAHAP!”

Kirishima looked at the timer. 

Ten minutes left.

There was still time.

Kirishima moved his fingers downward slowly, and Bakugo's eyes shot open and his struggling intensified dramatically. The pitch of Bakugo's laughter began to rise in intensity and echo loudly through the basement, the sound magnified by the close walls and low ceilings.

Though he was moving his hands slowly towards the spot he knew Bakugo just could not stand, Kirishima was determined to reach the ultimate goal and cause his friend to completely give up.

“NO! NONONAHAHAHAHA! KIRI! WAIT- STAHAHAHP! AHH! NO DOHOHONT!”

When Kirishima finally hit it, the spot on his upper ribs right underneath his arms, there was a moment of silence as the blonde jerked violently in his restraints.

Then Bakugo screamed.

“AAAHHHHH AHAHAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

He banged his head against the headrest and violently pulled on his arms, the skin peaking through underneath the cuffs red and scratched. He bucked his hips and tried to twist his body. He clenched and unclenched his fists, baby explosions shooting out of them. But Kirishima kept going, knowing Bakugo was approaching his limit if not already there. He dug in harder and wiggled his fingers faster. 

“KIRIHIHIHHIHI———————— AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! REHEHE ——————————! STAHAHAHA——————————!  I CAHAH——————————!” 

As Bakugo's body was transported into the realm of silent laughter, tears flowed freely down his burning face. As if it were possible, the blonde struggled even harder against the restraints, his struggles becoming increasingly violent and frenetic as his body jerked and slammed around, slightly scooting the heavy chair. Bakugo's explosions grew in size, slowly expanding and beginning to sting Kirishima's skin.

For a moment, Kirishima regarded Bakugo’s dramatic reactions with confusion, wondering why he didn't just give up if it was that unbearable. Kirishima lightened his touch at the thought considering calling off the entire thing and giving his friend a break.

Then Bakugo took a rare breath and screamed.

“CEREAL! THE DAHAHAHAHMN CODE- IT’S CEREAL!’ NOHOW FUCKING STAAAHAAHAHAHHAHAP!”

Kirishima quickly backed off and dropped his hands. Bakugo dropped into the chair in a deep slump and breathed hard, his body exhausted and yet somehow continued to buzz with adrenaline. He kept his eyes shut and let out a loud and deep groan, attempting to collect himself as his aching body continued to respond with twitches and jolts to strong phantom tickles. His face and neck were flushed, and the small beads of sweat dripped off his hair, betraying the exertion he had just endured.

After a few minutes, Kirishima chewed his lip and spoke quietly. “You okay, man?”

Kirishima didn't receive any verbal response. 

He stood up and circled the chair, leaning over take a look at Bakugo from the side. The blonde looked horrible. His face and neck were all sweaty and he completely collapsed into that chair as if he were boneless.

Kirishima had a gut wrenching, agonizing feeling that he had inadvertently pushed his friend too far. It didn't feel like it even mattered at this point whether Bakugo was being honest or using the safe word merely as a cop-out in order to avoid a full concession of defeat. One look at his friend, and Kirishima knew he should have stopped. 

But why didn't he just give up the damn code?

“Why did you use the safe word instead of giving up the code?”

Again, no verbal response.

“Bakugo, answer me.”

“Don't give me orders.” Bakugo mumbled.

“Bakugo!”

“I forgot the fucking code.” Bakugo admitted coldly, spitting the words out like acid. 

Kirishima blanched.

There was too much going on, his mind must have been in shambles.

Bakugo regarded his look of sympathy with a disgusted scoff. “I ended up remembering it so it doesn't fucking matter.”

Kirishima was speechless. Bakugo had reached his limit long before he stopped, and he kept going. Guilt pounded into his chest like a jackhammer. Of course he would use the safe word if he forgot. 

It was a fucking safe word.

If Bakugo had any trust in him, Kirishima felt it dissolve like cotton candy dipped in water.

“I- I’m so-”

“Shut up. I don't want to hear it.”

“But-”

“I said to shut it, damn it!”

Sighing and turning his head, Kirishima understood that if he tried to push, it would only make things worse. Instead, he looked at his phone.

two minutes remained on the clock.

“You lasted a long time.”

Bakugo coughed, still looking exhausted. “No I didn’t, you idiot.”

Kirishima let silence hang in the air as he started undoing the cuffs.

Once freed, Bakugo stood out of the chair and stretched. 

Then they exited the basement together in silence.

—

 The air between Kirishima and Bakugo was thick as the two of them walked back to the main sidewalk in complete silence. Bakugo looked down toward the ground, keeping his hands in his pockets, appearing to be deep in thought. Kirishima kept side eyeing him, the expression on the blonde’s face unreadable.

Kirishima remained silent for the remainder of walk and allowed the tension to build and linger in the air, letting Bakugo stew in his own thoughts and emotions.

Once they reached the dorms, Kirishima whirled on Bakugo before he could reach for the handle on the front door.

“Look man, I know you don’t wanna hear it, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn't stop. I should’ve put two and two together and stopped the minute you said the safe word. It was dumb and a violation and-” Kirishima looked into his eyes, willing Bakugo to see his regret. “I’m sorry.”

Kirishima maintained his gaze, not breaking off for a second while waiting for Bakugo to make his decision. Bakugo's stare was filled with disdain and anger, as the flush on the blonde’s cheeks almost faded and his fists were clenched tightly in his pockets. They remained poised for a moment, before Bakugo gave a curt nod.

Kirishima sighed, the guilt he had been feeling still there, but less suffocating. He knew Bakugo was going to need time, but at least the blonde didn't completely hate him.

Kirishima turned and opened the door entering the building and holding it open for his friend.

The dorms were bustling with life and activity, as students settled in for the evening and gathered to partake in fun activities such as watching a movie and eating snacks. Kirishima sighed as Bakugo brushed past everyone and headed towards his room without a word, ignoring everyone who greeted him and offered an invite to stay. 

Midoriya turned to Kirishima a questioning look, but Kirishima could only shake his head in response.

Bakugo wasn't just mad at Kirishima.

He was mad because once again,

He’d lost.

[avalynlestrange]

Speak Now

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Reader: she/her pronouns

Warnings: I didn’t proof read this. Let me know if there are any mistakes or if there are other warnings I should add.

Category: Post-Hogwarts, ex to lovers, wedding interruption, songfic, one-shot, angst?, fluff?

Summary: In which you rudely barge in on a white veil occasion.

No Sneak Peak 😋

Author’s Note: I’ve been feeling uninspired and unwell recently but I’m back 💞 This is my entry to week 2 of @hpcottagecorefest

Word Count: <2k

To The Library (fics masterlist)

To The Kitchen (WIPs)

To More Draco Malfoy fics

To Speak Now Anthology

You are not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion. Yet here you are dressed in formal attire, sitting at the seventh to the front bench of the great hall of the Malfoy manor. You had to come to see groom and Draco was not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl. You would be lying if you said you weren’t taken aback at the news of his engagement to one Astoria Greengrass a few months ago but it had pained you to hear it; especially through the mouth of an acquaintance.

He didn’t even have the nerve to say it to you. Then again why would he? You had been broken up for nearly year. But everybody knew you would get back together.

Well, everybody thought you would.

You always did. It was the norm for your relationship. Sure, this was the longest you’ve been apart but he somehow dated and proposed to Astoria within that 10 months.

You scoff at that thought. Must be their families doing. That’s probably why you didn’t get an invitation.

So you did what you had to in order to get into the event. You snuck in and see your friends and her snotty little family all dressed in pastel. There were different entrances to Malfoy Manor. You knew them like the back of your hand. Days and nights were spent here, running around playing hide and seek that lead to romantic encounters in nooks and crannies. No one truly checks who enters the servant quarters and those working this event, luckily, did not know who you were or were too busy to care.

You are sitting next to Blaise, who said he would say that he brought you as his plus one. If any one asked. Pansy said she truly would have brought you, if not for her being a bridesmaid. She had known the Greengrass sisters since she was born but was only told she was part of the entourage a week prior.

It’s not like you didn’t know the sisters yourself. You were close with Daphne during your school years and met Astoria when you visited Daphne’s home during the summer after first year and she was not as carefree as her older sister, even as a nine year old.

“She’s probably yelling at a bridesmaid somewhere.” You whisper to Blaise.

“Yeah, Pansy texted me earlier that Astoria’s gown is shaped like a pastry.” He snickers as he shows you the picture Pansy had sent him. You feign a laugh. Astoria looked gorgeous in the photo.

But this is surely not what Draco thought it would be. After the second wizarding war he vowed not to be caught up in his parent’s views and expectations ever again. It had nearly gotten him killed. You recall the nights you comforted him in your arms as he sobbed and scrubbed the mark on his forearm. How you missed wrapping your arms around him and being wrapped by his.

A cough snaps you out of your daydream. You look up and see Daphne with her furrowed eyebrows.

“You can’t be here.” She gestures for you to stand up. “My mom has seen you and told Astoria. So you have to-”

“She’s my date.” Blaise interrupts.

“And you know bloody well that this would happen.” Daphne ushers you and you follow her to the back of the hall.

“Look as much as I was rooting for you and Draco, I have to side with my sister. You need to go.” She hears her name being called and rushes to them.

Once Daphne is no longer in sight, you sneak back into the far back left side of the hall where long curtains drape. This was your last chance to stop this all. You couldn’t try to stop the engagement, but you can definitely try and prevent the union. It wasn’t a choice you made so lightly. Many sleepless nights nearer the date and you had made your mind up.

You couldn’t lose Draco. You had gone through so much together. There was so much love still there. No matter how many times you broke up and made up. You were meant to be. You know he knows it. So you hide behind the curtains.

The organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march. In between the two curtains, you peak at the start of the ceremony. Out comes Gardenia Greengrass in mint green. She never did like you when you met. She and Narcissa had been close childhood friends who dreamt of their children being wed and uniting the families. However, when Draco mentioned that you were his girlfriend during fifth year, their hopes were shattered and they were not warm towards you.

You sneak out of the curtains and sit at the back bench. The hall is filled with familiar faces but luckily the person next to you was too watching the ceremony to notice you.

As the wedding processional order proceeds to the grandparents, fond gestures are exchanged.

Then he walks through the door.

They say time stops when you’re in love. They are right. The intense feeling you have as you see him in his white suit and mint pocket square, his platinum blond locks in low fade cut, and his ice grey eyes wandering the hall sent butterflies to your stomach.

But they are heavy. It’s all wrong. This isn’t how you imagined seeing him down an aisle. Your stomach drops at the weight of it all.

You and Draco often talked about how your wedding would be. Which colour palette to use, which flowers, which venue and you see nothing of his preferences in what is all around you.

Draco stands at the altar awaiting his bride.

The music changes.

Astoria floats down the aisle like a pageant queen. You look to Draco and back to his bride. The butterflies are dancing around in your stomach and you are feeling a little nauseous.

But you know he wishes it you.

Doesn’t he?

Draco fixes his tie and looks around the room. He squints as he pats down his blazer. You know all his tells. By the way he fidgets with his family ring. He’s nervous. He takes a sharp inhale when he realises that Astoria is in front of him. She takes his hands in hers. A part of you breaks when you see him smile as he looks into her eyes.

You pay no mind to the words until you hear the preacher say, “Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

There’s a silence. There’s your last chance. You stand up with shaking hands.

All eyes on you.

Horrified looks from everyone in the room but you’re only looking at Draco.

He drops Astoria’s hands and faces you fully. You walk to aisle. Astoria’s mother stands up, but you start to speak.

“I’m sorry… Actually, I’m not sorry at all. Draco don't say a single vow. Don’t say yes.”

Your eyes are on his. Gasps from the people around you echoes in the hall.

“Let’s just run away now.” You continue. “I'll meet you when you're out of the Manor, at the back door.”

Your legs feel like they are going to give up on you when silence ensues. Draco is still standing at the altar. Hushed whispers follows. He opens his mouth as if to say something but he shuts it as quickly. He looks back and forth from you to Astoria. He looks back to you and says nothing.

That’s when you lose all the hopes you had. He really must be in this for love and not for his parents sake. You bite your lower lip and pick at the skin.

You don’t say another word and you walk out the manor. The metallic taste of blood seeps onto your tongue as you hold back the sobs that threaten to creep out. And as soon as you are out the grand entrance you drop to sit on the cold steps. All the what ifs crawl all over you as you wait on whether he will follow you out. You shiver.

Time is dragging. It feels like an eternity.

So you run. As fast as your shoes can take you. To the meadows nearby. It’s not the summer memories that flood your mind. No. Not the picnics amidst the flowers where you now sit. But the missed opportunities.

You should have told him you wanted him back sooner. You should have said something before they even got engaged. You should have never gone to this event. How stupid of you.

The scent of the pastel blue and baby pink flowers linger in the air. He used to pick them for you and placed them in your hair. The compliments he would shower you as you adorn them. Now they are tainted with the memories of them being in the decorations of their wedding. They must have been here together.

You grab a fist full of flowers in your hands and pluck them forcefully, chucking it with all the strength you can muster.

You hear your name being gently called. It didn’t register as a voice from someone near you. You’ve heard it so many times before. Draco did often visit you in dreams.

He places himself next to you.

“What? Come to tell me the good news in person? I must be so special.” You pick at the flowers once more. He doesn’t speak for the longest time. The breeze cooling down your heated cheeks. Shouldn’t he be at the reception?

“Remember when I first brought you here? You were so nervous about telling my parents about us.”

“Of course! Narcissa already hated me since you lot blamed me for breaking her favourite vase.” You remark.

The decision of sharing a bottle of fire whiskey stolen from the cabinets and pretending to be studying at the manor library seemed like a good idea then.

“It wasn’t my idea! Goyle just said it to protect me. Crabbe just went along-“

“Plus she was already furious when she heard that you dated girls that wasn’t a Greengrass. Bet she’s happy now.” You scoff.

“She actually loved you.” He confesses. “Every time I visited home without you she made me bring you your favourite dish.”

“That’s why we always had a bunch of them in the fridge when you got back.”

“Where did you think they came from?”

“I don’t know! I thought you bought it somewhere. You never mentioned they came from your mom!”

“I did! The first time when I went after New Years cause you had work.”

“I don’t remember that was ages ago!”

He laughs and offers you flower crown he had made.

“I’ve missed this.”

“What? Us bickering?”

“Yeah and just you in general.”

You frown at him and ask, “Why are you here? Should you be back at the party?”

He props down the offering in between you then looks to the horizon.

“I didn’t say my vows.” He pauses to see your reaction. However, when you didn’t respond he carries on.

“My father was the one who arranged all of this. After all these years and he still has an influence on me. Which is why I’m so glad you were around when they said, ‘Speak Now’. Ever since we broke up, I’ve been a mess.

“I keep going to my fireplace to floo to you and when I finally did you had moved out of our place. Figured you’d moved on. Broke more vases. It drove me crazy when you never came to any social events. I’ve missed you so much. You’re the one I love.”

He motions his open palm to you and says, “Shall we run away now?”

[rainbowsky]

Dear Rainbow Sky,

I was the one who asked u the earlier question anonymously. I wish to send my heartfelt thanks to you for taking time to respond so fast even though I posted anonymously. Sorry for the long essay.

I did not know what is the right etiquette as I am new to tumblr (i created this account just so I could read your blog which I really enjoyed reading.) and IRL, I am just a middle aged asian lady who is not too internet savvy, stumbling into this, and honestly a little confused why I feel so emotionally invested in this, as you say!! (Sorry new turtle)

Wishing you a great weekend ahead! My thanks once again!!

🙏🙏🙏

This is in reference to a previous post.

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛

I have some advice for new turtles, so let's dig in.

Thank you for writing back, kaijumama, it is nice to be able to put a name to the message! No need to apologize or feel you've done anything wrong. I know I can come off as brusque sometimes, but I've gotten a lot of a certain tone of message lately and I'm trying to set some boundaries around what ends up in my inbox.

Anyway, I know what it feels like to be emotionally invested in GG and DD and their relationship. It is a difficult thing to explain to anyone who's outside of the fandom, but it's a feeling and a connection that builds, and sometimes it can become very emotional or feel very personal.

All I can tell you is, take your time, relax and find a region of turtledom that feels soothing and warm, and everything will rapidly improve for you.

When you are a new turtle it can feel like everything has a lot of significance. It can feel like everything is either proof they are together or proof they've broken up or never were together in the first place. I think a lot of turtles go through that phase and it can be a roller coaster.

It's important for all new turtles to realize that if a claim or narrative you're being told about GGDD or something relating to them makes you feel horrible about yourself and about being a turtle, chances are really good that it was intentionally crafted for that purpose by haters. Avoid, block and ignore.

Usually that experience becomes a lot more stable and relaxed as time goes by and you become more familiar with the fandom and with the various ideas and theories and bits of information we base our beliefs on, but getting there can be a struggle emotionally for people who are very invested.

All I can say to that is:

Enjoy GG and DD and their works. That should always be our main focus as fans. It has the added bonus of being very enjoyable and enriching to our lives.

Take your time to get to know other turtles, get familiar with relevant social media accounts, and get to know the core turtle content and theories.

Avoid and ignore anti messages (and if a message makes you feel like a bad person or like being a turtle is bad, it's an anti message - yes, even if it seems friendly. A lot of antis phrase things in a concen-trolling kind of way to get under people's radar). Block and ignore.

Exercise patience and restraint around new information and claims that seem unsettling. Don't immediately freak out. Take your time to learn more. Trust that if experienced turtles are not freaking out, tearing out their hair and crying, then everything's probably just fine. It's so easy to get sucked into despair and confusion as a new turtle because you don't yet know the significance or lack of significance of something. Experienced turtles do.

Use your feelings as a signal about where you should be. If you feel really bad and stressed out, you're probably in the wrong area or among the wrong people. Find a corner of turtledom that makes you happy and avoid the ones that don't.

Stick to turtle spaces at all times - especially if you're a new turtle. This is for your own well-being, so you won't get misled and abused by antis. That means staying away from all hashtags on Twitter (even bjyx and yizhan ones, because antis frequently post to those), this includes staying away from hashtags of GG and DD's individual names (staying off Twitter entirely, IMHO). Avoid all solo spaces, including GG and DD's individual supertopics and fan clubs. More on that here.

Do not engage in fan wars or arguments, especially if you're new. You'll get eaten alive, and nothing will be resolved. You're not going to change anyone's mind.

Understand that we will likely never be directly, clearly acknowledged or thanked by GG and DD as fans in a clear, unambiguous way. Quite the contrary, GG and DD will sometimes have to distance themselves from us for the good of their careers and to mollify solos. GG and DD give us what they can, but there's never going to be a grand public declaration of support and appreciation for us. The situation will never allow for that. GG and DD will always have to cater to solos above us, and that will always lead to solos feeling superior and being dicks to us. That's just the way things are.

Realize that part of being a turtle is being marginalized and hated. There are so many groups that will be out to get us. Homophobes, GG's solo fans, DD's solo fans, people who are against what they view as 'shipping real people' (I don't 'ship' anyone, I believe GG and DD are in a real relationship), people who think we are delusional creepy weirdos, people who are against fandom in general, people who hate celebrities and fan culture, people who hate GG and DD, people in our daily lives who 'don't get it' and feel annoyed by our fixation, etc. etc. It just goes with the territory.

Embrace uncertainty. This is not a fandom of knowns and for sures. GG and DD will almost certainly never come out and confirm their relationship. Most of the theories we have will never be confirmed or factually fully substantiated. We will likely always have to deal with a certain measure of doubt and uncertainty. That's just the nature of this fandom.

Remember turtles have shells. Build yours, because you're going to need it. Being a turtle is not for the faint of heart.

One important thing I can say to you and all new turtles:

Almost nothing we see about GG and DD will be significant to their relationship.

A lot of new turtles try to evaluate every bit of info about GG and DD through the lens of whether it proves they're together, or whether it proves they're not. In reality, almost none of the information we see will have any significance or connection to their relationship either way. Viewing things through such a lens is unnecessarily stressful and frankly a bit foolish.

They're both individuals first and foremost, so while it's nice to hunt for candy sometimes, it's also important to keep perspective and remember them as individuals who have their own lives. The vast majority of things we see/hear about have absolutely nothing to do with them as a couple. More on that toward the end of this post.

It's best to avoid seeing/interpreting everything through the lens of whether they're a couple or not. Most joy/pain extremes can be avoided that way. Just enjoy them and their works, and the rest will follow over time.

You might also find my fandom survival guide helpful.

As a new turtle you might also find my masterlist post helpful. A lot of older topics, common questions and background can be found there.

Here are a few posts I recommend for new turtles:

BXG Glossary

BXG Calendar

About Kadian

GG and DD’s projects

Is YiZhan real?

Which do you love more?

Proof they’re still together?

Fandom Survival Guide

BXG Fandom Etiquette

Why so much hate from solos?

“I came across a nasty rumor about them online”

[xxscarletxrosexx]

Addressing Watermarks on Official Merch Scans -- A Post Made to EDUCATE

I never thought this would need to be addressed, but I think to ignore this would do me injustice as someone who works in education. This message, at its core, is to educate, not attack anyone in particular.

I used to think how silly it was that people used watermarks on pictures and art, but after spending decades in multiple fandom groups, I learned that people are simply too lazy to find the source and credit accordingly and/or want the glory/validation that comes from claiming that particular art/picture as theirs.

I've had a picture stolen once, too. It was a picture of a mannequin that reminded me of Slender Man. I posted it on a public social media app just for laughs, and somehow, that picture ended up becoming a small meme. It WASN'T a huge meme, but it made its way to a niche of Slender Man memes. I haven't received credit for that picture and probably never will. The reason is that this picture was taken over a decade ago, so finding the source would be difficult for me to scroll through the app. Furthermore, I can't show proof that I have the original picture since it was from an old phone that I no longer owned. I had the picture backed up on an external hard drive, but it was deleted when the memory got wiped when I was dealing with a virus. Ultimately, I'm not here to air out my grievance for this picture, but I take it as a lesson to myself that I should be careful next time if I want to post a picture on the internet.

This now brings me to the present-day issue: why did I watermark my scans?

As you read from my previous experience, it's because people DON'T credit or share the source.

I am very much aware that this particular design of the Forgers is very rare to come by. The official art was posted by the official website, but it was never addressed again (I know because I am dying to have acrylic stands of this design). As of today, I tried to look for this specific design and the following images showed up when I spent the past 10 minutes scrolling:

If you were to click the link for the merch (middle image), you would find that the website is unavailable. So, yes, to find this design on a merch was INCREDIBLY lucky on my part. Now, I wasn't expecting to find this at Waku Waku Park, nor was it my mission to find this specific art during the duration of my trip. It just so happened to be at the shop. To my knowledge, other official SxF merch--other than the Waku Waku Park merch--supposedly changes. I compared my experience with two SxF moots who went in December (Ikebukuro/Tokyo location) and 1 week (Osaka location) before me, and they both don't recall finding this design during their visits to Waku Waku Park (I mean, justified because it's been ages ago). As a result, this makes this merch all the more difficult to find.

Technically, I wasn't allowed to take pictures of the merchandise when I was at the shop. I was approached by a store clerk after I had already completed taking pictures of every merch available at the shop. She was limited in her English but crossed her index fingers and told me: "Pictures prohibited." I have not, nor do I plan to, share merch pictures, hence why I edited to the clear file folders to show proof that I was there.

The reason why I am so hell-bent on having my watermark on MY PICTURES and MY SCANS is because of the amount of time, effort, and money I invested into getting it.

Just to give you guys an idea of how expensive it was:

$1,500 was spent on a 9-day round-trip ticket to Japan.

$180 was lost to an overnight night bus from Tokyo to Osaka that I didn't end up riding due to rushing and booking the wrong date. I was not allowed to cancel or refund.

$100 was spent on an airplane ticket from Tokyo to Osaka.

$90 was spent on a shinkansen (bullet train) from Kyoto to Tokyo (we took a fast metro ride from Osaka to Kyoto).

$100 was spent on a last-minute B&B in Osaka.

$50 was spent on Waku Waku Park tickets that came with merchandise (I paid for my friend's ticket as well as my own).

$12 (est.) was spent on purchasing this clear file folder.

Over $350 was spent on purchasing merch from Waku Waku Park alone.

$60 was invested in purchasing a scanner just to scan a high-quality image of this clear file for my friend, and anyone else who'd appreciate seeing this product.

To share how much time and effort it took to get to purchasing this:

My friend and I weren't able to book events for the trip despite purchasing our tickets 2 months in advance. Our jobs and schedules prevented us from meeting up and planning out places where we'd like to visit. As a result, many of our planned trips were booked days before we went, such was the case with Waku Waku Park. We literally bought the tickets the night before.

The flight, night bus, and shinkansen tickets from Tokyo to Osaka and from Kyoto to Tokyo were purchased the day before we bought the tickets, which was during our bus ride trip to Mount Fuji.

When purchasing tickets for Waku Waku Park, my SxF moots recommended I purchase online or at Lawson--I did the latter. For whatever reason, I just couldn't purchase the tickets online, so I went to Lawson and found a machine that sells general tickets to the public. I recall this experience being so frustrating because they did have an English translation option for the homepage ONLY. Once I clicked the platform that sold Waku Waku Park tickets, all text went back to Japanese. I couldn't read it, so I had to contact my SxF moot (who was fortunately still in Japan and went through this experience like me AND could read and speak in Japanese) explain to me what I was looking at. I also used Google Lens to help make sense of whatever I was reading. I probably spent over 10 minutes trying to figure that shit out until the shop clerk finally came over to see if he can help me complete the form and check out my purchase (poor kid didn't know English but we somehow managed).

When my friend and I arrived in Osaka, we had forgotten to book a B&B since we knew that there was a high likelihood that we'd stay overnight. I purchased a 1-day Osaka trip pass, assuming that we'd be able to go to every place offered on the list, but nope, my friend crashed after Waku Waku Park. As a result of booking so early in the morning, we were fortunate to have found a B&B that was ready by 1 PM (?) maybe 3 PM (?). I can't remember other than the fact that when I requested if we could come early, they told me we couldn't come until check-in time. So, we went to ATC Gallery (Waku Waku Park) with our luggages (fortunately, they were light but it was a nuisance to have carried it around). We were also fortunate that ATC Gallery, when arriving to the building via metro station, had a locker that could fit our luggage--so thank goodness we didn't have to carry it during the exhibit.

We learned that once you exit the exhibit--which means you exit the merch shop--you are NOT allowed to come back in. Even, when your companion was still inside, you couldn't go back in. My friend left the merch shop since there were no places for her to sit and wait for me. So she stepped out of the shop. Apparently, there are gates with workers preventing people from re-entering. And so, when I experienced problems with my card, I called my friend to have her lend me her credit card. That's when we experienced that problem. The officer was kind enough to allow my friend to hand me her card so that I could pay for my haul of merch. But imagine, if we both left the shop to go to a store to withdraw money? There was no Lawson store nearby so we'd have to take the metro and find one, buy a ticket, return to the venue, go through the exhibit AGAIN (I probably would have to repeat playing the minigames, collecting stamps, and having my photo taken out of courtesy rather than rushing through the exhibit), and then finally arrive at the merch shop. But considering the time we entered the park around 1:30 PM and spent 2 hours in the park, I believe that it would have ended with a very tight schedule (the park closes at 6:00 PM) and a very unhappy companion.

In conclusion, removing my watermarks means you (the watermark remover) discredit me and disrespect all of my time, effort, and money I invested just to get a high-quality scan of this clear file just for you to enjoy looking at and most likely saving it to your collection of SxF images. You are also a THIEF for not only stealing my scanned image and re-uploading my scan with a horrible cut and my watermarks removed with AI, but also for the fact that you DID NOT pay for a round-trip ticket to Japan, you DID NOT pay for your own ticket to Waku Waku Park, you DID NOT purchase this clear file yourself, and you DID NOT spend money on a scanner to get this high-quality image to post on the internet.

I know that this is MY SCANNED image of the official art because I can see ghost texts of my watermark between Loid and Yor and near Anya's finger and Bond's forehead. I can see the residual cut off of the weird light-blue scan found near Loid's head. The most obvious is that the red leaf between Yor and Loid was horribly "removed" by AI (dear, I use AI to edit out people from my photos, it doesn't take a trained and perfectionist eye to notice something looks fucked up).

Below is an example of me using AI, and this is not how it should look without people. There was a clear pathway behind the people but AI decided to cover it with grass. Keep in mind that to arrive to THIS AI edit, it took me over an hour to repeat the removal process since AI's edit is RANDOM every time. I am an extreme perfectionist, so I tend to waste hours on end to find AI edits that look convincing (I'm not gonna bother putting a watermark on this because my face is there).

Furthermore, as far as I'm aware (at this current time), I know that my scan is the only one that has resurfaced this image. The official merch image of this design is quite difficult to find and reference. I would've sourced it by now if I had already found it, but I've spent 6 hours writing this entire post as is and still couldn't find it.

The person who shared the removal of my watermark on Twitter/X was unaware of the importance for watermarking scans and had been cooperative by taking down her original post. I have provided a post to my scans on Twitter/X here, and a link to the original source found on my Ko-Fi shop. I currently have no beef with her, nor am I attacking her with this post. What she had presented to me was an opportunity to educate.

If you're looking for official merch that do not have watermarks slashed across their products, then your best bet is to find them from official merch websites and/or official merch images. Obviously, they want you to purchase their products. Second, they have the legal rights and trademark (TM) to flex that they own it, so I highly doubt anyone would go out of their way to edit an official work and claim it as their image.

My experience alone confirms that had I not put a watermark on my scan, I would have definitely gotten this scan stolen. As far as I'm aware, my scan is the ONLY ONE (at this current moment) that pops up in Google searches. It pops up via Tumblr from @yumeka-sxf Spy x Family miscellaneous collab scans - part 3 post.

I'm so grateful to have received advice from @yumeka-sxf because she encouraged me to protect my scans having experienced multiple thefts from her oldest scanned images in the past.

TLDR; Don't remove people's watermarks on scanned pictures (especially if they're put on official merch). We have the right to post watermarks on our pictures/scans because we spent ungodly time and effort to find them, spent money to purchase them, scanned/took high-quality pictures of them, and kindly shared our collection(s) FOR FREE for people to enjoy, share the experience, and/or inspire them to purchase one themselves. Unfortunately, the decision to put watermarks over purchased merch is because there are people who are willing to do whatever it takes to edit out credit and watermarks found in corners or in open spaces to claim ownership of the image. I have also seen merchants' product pictures being stolen by other sellers who just happen to have the same product (yes, I'm calling Ebay and Mercari out). That's why there are sellers who take pictures of their products next to their usernames.

If you have read everything until the very end, you have my gratitude. I hope that this post has been educational in helping everyone become aware that watermarks are used to credit people's time, effort, and money to share high-quality scans/pictures of official merch that they purchased. The reason you can see it is because of their efforts to share it.

[doberbutts]

hey can i ask you a question about this post of yours? (tumblr.com/doberbutts/731905953004437504)

in your response to the weird anon, you linked this al jazeera article/video (aljazeera.com/news/2023/10/19/what-hit-ahli-hospital-in-gaza) and said that it's "saying it probably wasn't intentional and it probably was a missile that originated in Gaza." however, i watched the video recently and it seems to me that what it says at the end was that the claim that it was a gazan misfire was false. am i just misinterpreting it?

(to be clear, im only talking about the first paragraph of your answer to the anon in that one post, not about any of the posts or any of the people harassing you)

It's like. Right there in the article. Al Jazeera does not think it was a misfire and believes it did originate in Gaza but was shot down by Israel's Iron Dome, which I also fielded as a possibility. Israel says it was a misfire of a missle coming from Gaza. The CNN article I read that morning discussed both possibilities. In either case, yes, it was probably not an intentional hit and was probably a missle that originated in Gaza, because that is the commonality between both sides.

When you are dealing with a huge potential for propaganda, the best course of action is to find what remains consistant no matter who tells it. Those two things- that the hospital was simply guilty of being in the way and not an intentional target, and that the missle seems to have originated from somewhere in Gaza- remain consistant even in pro-Palestinian news. The other thing that remains consistant is that Israel told the hospital to evacuate- but the 'why' changes based on who says it and that is harder to prove.

This is like. How to Not Fall For Propaganda 101. You cannot take snippets and social media posts and headlines and just run with them. You have to actually investigate what is being said and who it benefits by saying it.

The other piece is- how to tell truth from blatant lies. In the example of the hospital, a lot of my weird anon pushback has been relying on the idea that the hospital was instantly levelled- in fact they said that more than once as proof that it had to be Israel. However... the structures received fairly minimal damage, as the bulk of the damage was to the parking lot and cars within, and there was no instant levelling of any building. We have photographic evidence produced from many sources that show exactly that. So... if that source is relying on a lie such as "the hospital was instantly levelled" when it is very proveable that the buildings are still standing, what other things are they lying about or exaggerating?

In another example, the claim that Hamas beheaded babies originated from a handful of specific Israeli soldiers, who are already known to be an untrustworthy source. When challenged to produce evidence of this claim, both Israel and the US walked back the claim. Always ask for evidence, and if the reaction is anything besides actually providing evidence... then the claim was probably bunk to begin with. In this case the reaction was initially "trust me bro" and then "how dare you ask me to do this because [excuse]" and then "okay yeah it's not true".

Lastly, use logic. Let's say Israel did bomb the hospital. Well they missed any actual buildings and we know they have good enough aim to hit whatever building they're aiming for because they *have* hit hospitals and other civilian buildings on purpose in the past. It left a 3ft crater in the parking lot and burned up a bunch of cars. Well either that one was a dud or it was their own misfire because we also know the concussive force of their munitions should produce more damage. Ironically, that's one of Israel's arguments that they didn't do it, that if it was one of theirs the death total would be higher and the hospital would have been obliterated. Again, based on what we know of civilian buildings they've hit on purpose, we know that's not an inaccurate statement.

At the same time, what good would it have done anyone in Palestine to deliberately hit their own hospital? And, again, if they were actually aiming for the hospital... they missed because they hit the parking lot. If anyone wanted to actually hit the hospital, one of the buildings would have been the better target. And yet, all of the buildings remain standing with relatively minor damage because the thing blew up well away from any standing structure. I do find it interesting that no matter what Israel's story is- which has changed multiple times because again, known untrustworthy source, none of them that I've heard have said that it was a deliberate attack on the hospital from Palestine either. Likely because they know that there is no logical reason for Palestine to attack a Palestinian hospital, and bullshit would be called immediately if they tried.

Lastly, the reason I'm looking for commonaiity and not just picking a single source to listen to is because journalists have reported getting shot at and blown up and their media signalling ignored, and if journalists are getting targetted and killed, that means less journalists are going to show up to try and figure it out because they also don't want to die, which means there is a significantly higher likelihood for propaganda and incredibly biased reporting to spread like wildfire.

Most of this type of thing relies on a grain of truth and then spins an almost plausible lie that finishes with an appeal to emotion. I think it would benefit everyone to research propaganda and how it works and how to identify it and how to combat it from taking root in your sourcing. I also think it would benefit everyone to learn how to research and challenge sources in the first place. I remember doing this in school where any strong opinion paper had to also have an accompanying paper arguing *against* it, written by the same person, so you could better learn how to identify where you may have fallen for propaganda that you happened to agree with and thus didn't research further.

Finally,

[oh-saints]

erling again please!! can you do one where he attends your graduation?

OH OH THIS IS FRESH

absent

erling says he can't make it to your graduation, though...

erling haaland x you

word count: 0.7k

note: taking a little break from dad!rúben tirade bcs this prompt is too fun to be passed up. but as usual, i happen to write at dawn so this is not proof-read yet.

“i don’t think i can make it, babe,”

was what erling said the last time you and him shared a video call. he cited he had an away game and it was too far away for him to catch a flight to norway in time for your graduation. he truly sounded sad and disappointed over the phone, and you get it because it’s his job. you signed up for this the moment you kissed him back 2 years ago under the mistletoe in his house.

so you try to let his absence rain your parade. because that day is for you, after 3 years full of tears and blood. no matter how much you want to share it with erling because he was the one who persuaded you to stay in collage when things went roughly south.

you still involve erling in every step of the preparations, though. you ask for his advice regarding your valedictorian speech, what to fix and which part to emphasis. you send him pictures of your dress nominees. you do a poll for your make up look. and he reply at each and every one of your texts, no matter how busy he is, except the times when he had to play for a match.

on the day, you head straight to where you and your peer group are going to take a graduation picture together. erling had suggested it actually because he thought you should at least have a fun photo session with the ones who are truly there for you, physically and mentally, especially when you miss him a lot due to the long distance relationship.

you sport dozens of ridiculous shots that’s inspired by your 4-year journey together, on top of having cliché poses. you can’t thank erling enough for this idea because it throws you to a mini flashback where everything looks okay the first time you and your peer group sets your feet here. at the end of the session, you all have to hold back some tears because you don’t want to ruin your make up.

a deliveryman should be thanked for that because the moment he delivers you a bouquet of flowers from erling is the moment that makes you and your peer group break down to fits of laughter.

your peer group, friends, and colleagues alike all claps when you take the stage for your valedictorian speech and shouts when you close the speech with a bang. your family cheers for you when you take your diploma, and for a minute, you forget that erling is the only thing missing from this spectacular day.

only when your phone dings once, followed by thousand more notifications, do you realise you’re missing him for nothing.

erling posts a video on his story of you getting your diploma, with the caption of you go my girl <3 and the internet had a fucking meltdown. you, too, to be honest because you’re content with the hushed status of your relationship with erling. despite him not showing your face in the video, many has recognised you, probably mouth to mouth from people who actually go to your university hall.

but for once, you don’t care at all because he’s here. erling’s here, and it completes your day by a long mile. doesn’t matter now how he gets here or if he lies on purpose about him not being able to come down for your graduation.

as soon as they dismiss the biggest event of your life by far, you don’t think twice to call erling to ask where he is so you can tackle him down in a hug. and you did exactly that, when you find him standing tall like a giant he is underneath a tree nearby, looking dashing in a suit coloured to matchingly contrast your dress. fuck other people who try to take a picture of you two, or of erling in general because who the hell doesn’t know erling haaland?

but the good side of having a giant boyfriend is that he’s always there and ready to catch you.

“you’re here!”

“i wouldn’t miss it for the world, schnuppa.”

[rockinrpmemes]

I'm starting completely fresh in the Tumblr RPC. I'm from Discord and Amino to try looking for people willing to be CCs/Canon Character muses against my OCs. How exactly do I go about looking for that? How does searching for RP work here? I genuinely just have so many questions bc everything is really confusing to me. 🙇‍♀️

Hmmmm...I feel your frustration, as a someone that has been on this site since 2011, and in the Tumblr RPC since 2012, I can attest it's way harder now to get into rp than it did even 4 years ago. I'm going to answer this for anyone, not just your case, because I feel OC and Canon players of all kinds are trapped in this same problem!!!

The 2 major causes to difficulty connecting in the RPC:

People here have gotten way more prickly and cold and have 100 red flags and objections in their rules that make seeking out a partnership flimsy at best. (Dangerous to your mental health at worst.) If you see someone like this, don't bother trying to win them over. Chances are they are going to whine about everything you ask of them, think anything you do is offensive, or it's a huge "honor" to be even considered a mutual. RUN away from these types, and don't waste your time. They don't want partners, they want an audience to their personal drama, and will probably be an asshole to you OOC, and make you look like the bad guy to their sycophants. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

People here have also gotten way more FLAKEY and don't reach out and engage the way they used to. They post memes all day and beg for starters, but don't answer them once you have managed to snag them. They make 100 muses but never rp any of them except the one you don't want. Attention spans on here have gotten shorter than a fly's.

It seems daunting, but fortunately, the old ways to find partners still work....

Use the search function, for "RP STARTERS" and the like, BUT!! Don't reply to the starter until you've looked at the OP's blog. Read their rules. They may only post starters for mutuals, or selective fandom affliates. If you find you like that blogger, and decide to follow, it's a way in.

Post a "call out" for your blog. Make a Promo of some kind, but tag it: "RP BLOG" ; "OC RP" ; "RPC PROMO" ; "(genre name) RP," If your OC is affiliated to any fandoms, or could fit into desired fandoms, tag as such IE: "LOTR RP". Even if your OC is not fandom affiliated, you should tag it into popular fandoms you know would work with your muse. It at least gets views. And if someone happens to like or reblog your promo post, it gives you a window into more blogs.

Another "sneaky" but very effective way is to go into the notes of memes and starters and look at the likes/reblogs. Hit up those icons/urls, do some research on partners that may be a future choice. Again, read their rules, scroll through their posts, see if you think it's a good match for your character AND your writing style. For me, this is the best way to look for new blogs to interact with. It's living proof that there are STILL A LOT OF WRITERS LOOKING FOR INTERACTION!

Don't be afraid to tag yourself into things!!!! Remember, the first 5 tags get the most hits. Just don't spam tags that have nothing to do with your blog, as a courtesy.

Hope that helps! If anyone has any more tips, feel free to add in comments, etc.

[hxlyhoax]

Paralyzed

Based off of Paralyzed by Big Time Rush

Rowan Laslow x Reader

warning(s): I hate the ending. semi proof read. all mistakes are mine. if I need to add anything else let me know :)

━━━━━ © hxlyhoax 2023 do not steal, post on third party sites or translate my work. I do not own the rights to Wednesday or any of the canon characters mentioned.

You walked with Enid right by your side. You were new to Nevermore and she was showing you around while also keeping you up with the latest gossip around the school or in the next town over that was named Jericho.

“Dude” Xavier frowned at his roommate, hitting his arm. “Huh” the dazed boy let out, looking at the long haired boy. “You weren’t listening?”

Rowan shook his head, guilt clear in his features. “I got distracted.” he frowned, watching as Xavier furrowed his eyebrows and looked to where the shorter boy nodded his head. “Oh, They’re new.”

Rowan only nodded, biting his lip. You’d never notice him. He knew it. Xavier knew it. Hell, Enid probably already knew it.

The next time he saw you was when you were going against Bianca in fencing. He watched intensely as you and the siren went after each other, smiling once he realized you had won the match.

“Nice moves.” Bianca smiled, staring you down. “Thank you.” you nodded, smiling back before looking over to another student who wanted to go against you.

“You should talk to them.” Xavier whispered in the boys ear, smiling softly. “I- I can’t-” Rowan shook his head, taking a short breath. “And why is that?” the long haired boy frowned, tilting his head. “They’re out of my league. And i’ll make a fool out of myself if I do.” the boy frowned, looking to his roommate with a look similar to a wounded puppy. “Would you like me to talk to them for you?”

“You would do that?” Rowan asked, confused as why the boy who seemed to careless about him would help. “Yeah” Xavier nodded, looking towards you again, waving slightly when he noticed you were looking in their direction.

You waved back with a smile on your face. A smile that made Rowan melt. Oh, how he loved you.

The third time he saw you was at the carnival. You were accompanied by Xavier who was hopefully putting in a good word for him.

“So how are you liking Nevermore?” Xavier asked, smile on his face. “It’s alright” you shrugged, “Kind of like every other private school i’ve been to, just with more outcasts and I actually like the uniform.”

“You like the uniform?” the tall boy cringed, watching as you chuckled lightly and nodded. “Way better than my last ones. Those were hideous.”

“Do you like anyone?”

You stared at him for moment, head tilted. “I like a lot of people.”

“No, like like.”

“like like ?”

“like like.” Xavier nodded his head, trying to laugh at thought of you two just repeating two words. “Well, I don’t know. I don’t think I know anyone that much to “like like” them.” you shrugged, “But I am curious about someone.”

“Oh? do tell.”

“This boy. He wears glasses. He’s-”

“Rowan. His name is Rowan. He’s my roommate actually.”

“Oh- Did I do something wrong? Because it seems like he’s always avoiding me.” you frowned, placing your hands in your pockets.

“Oh, no. I can promise you, you did nothing wrong. He’s just really awkward that’s all. But, if you liked to meet him I can set something up.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” you shook your head, smiling softly. “But, thanks though.”

“No. I insist. He’s right over there actually.” Xavier pointed to a boy who was sitting alone at a bench. The same boy you had been curious about for weeks. The same boy you may have developed a little crush on. The same boy who-

“Well?”

“Uh, sure. Yeah, let’s go.” you nodded, missing the way he inaudibly chuckled to himself.

“Rowan” Xavier called out as the both of you walked over, watching as he turned his head, eyes going wide at the sight of you. “Oh, hi.” the boy smiled, pushing his glasses up, doing his best to control his breathing, keeping a tight fist on his inhaler that was in his pocket. “Rowan this is Yn. Yn this is Rowan.”

“Hi, Yn.” Rowan nodded, staring at you for a few seconds before looking to the ground again. “Hi, Rowan. It’s nice to finally meet you. Heard a lot of good things actually.”

“Good things?” he asked, looking up, cheeks going red as Xavier winked at him. He really was playing wingman. And he’d forever be in debt to the psychic. “Yeah. You’ve got yourself a good wingman over here.” you chuckled, sitting across from him.

“Oh- Uhm- Wingman? No-”

You stared at him as he used his inhaler, frowning slightly. “Do I make you nervous?”

The boy in the glasses looked at you, swallowing silently. “Not in a bad way.”

“In a good way then?”

“He likes you.” Xavier cut off the awkward encounter. “Xav-”

“I like you too.”

Both boys looked over at you. Xavier smiling in triumph and Rowan in shock. “You do?” Rowan began to smile, setting his inhaler down, controlling his breaths once again. “I do.”

[gralunaisland]

Gruvians saying juvia has had a "tremendous amount of growth since joining Fairy Tail" never fail to make me laugh. Happy had more character development than her. Also, they really should look up the definition of 'obsessive', because she literally embodies that word. Honestly there isn't much to her character, aside from lusting for Gray. I guess the main reason she's popular is because she's 'attractive'? I really don't see any other reason this kind of character would have such a massive fanbase.

Examples of juvia Lacking Character Growth, and Why People Might Like her

This is the oldest ask I have at the moment, so thank you very much for your patience, Anon, and I apologize that I haven't been able to answer this in a while!

I agree with you on all points! You made some great ones. I'll respond to each!

It's pretty hilarious that some Pro gr///vians truly believe that juvia is a much, if at all, better person now than who she was before. she seriously hasn't gotten any less obsessive over the years. If anything, I believe the more we see of her, the more she gets worse. Anyway, I could probably pick apart any instance of "character development" that a Pro might try to use as proof. Here's a couple:

juvia killing herself for Gray? Look no further than this post of mine where I explain this in more detail. she lacks utter agency and will to live outside of Gray, so her life is quite literally worthless to her if she doesn't have Gray, and therefore it's not her being selfless in taking her self-made-meaningless life when she didn't have a self in the first place.

juvia apologizing to Gray for killing the necromancer who controlled Gray's already dead dad? I've already picked apart how that was utter manipulation and disingenuousness on her part in many of my posts, so I'll summarize here:

First, juvia never actually apologizes (literally, go back and read the panels, she never ONCE said even something as simple as SORRY).

Second, juvia makes everything about herself by saying essentially "I don't deserve to love you anymore", as if this had ANYTHING to do with her "love" of Gray when in reality all it had to do with was her doing her FRICKING DUTY by KILLING THE ENEMY. What's more, she's sobbing in that scene not because of any sympathy for Gray losing his father again. she's literally only doing that because she feels she's somehow lost Gray's good graces, that by doing this she doesn't get to give her abusive love to Gray anymore, that she's somehow lost her nonexistent chance to be with him. This scene should not have been about her at all, and yet of course, she's only focusing on the one thing that is in her life, her obsession with Gray against his wishes.

Third, she also stalked him to Silver's grave. Gray didn't tell anyone about it, and yet of course she follows him without his permission or knowledge as per usual. To her, Gray has no right to privacy.

Fourth, her pseudo-apology (which again wasn't one) went right out the window (she literally starts blushing and stops crying and hugs him and says he's warm. Uh. Crocodile tears anyone? Clearly all she cares about is skin-ship with her Gray-sama. she didn't look the least bit concerned that he was crying) once Gray clasped her, breaking down into tears and apologizing to her. What did he do??? she's really broken him so badly that she manages to make her "uwu I'm so sad I don't get to uwu love you anymore" into the most heartbreaking heartfelt apology Gray's ever heard. That amount of emotional and psychological manipulation, even if not on purpose, is absolutely despicable. she's making him feel EVEN WORSE. Remember, Gray is at his father's grave, and she doesn't care. she invades his private time for grieving and centers everything on her abusive passion for him. And Gray is too screwed up to realize how awful of a human being she is for doing so. she's literally making her self-imposed guilt more important than his trauma and making it his problem. I cannot overstate how horrible that is. she doesn't feel bad for Gray grieving his dad or even crying right now in front of her whatsoever, because now that Gray's made it clear that he doesn't hold her accountable for killing the evil necromancer, she has no reason to feel sad anymore. she never once felt real guilt, she just mourned what she was losing. This is the same thing as a kid only apologizing to their mom for breaking a vase just so they can go to that birthday party they wanted to attend. her "apology" was a means to an end, and she absolutely obtained that end.

Fifth, and one of the most damning things against her in this scene, and that's saying a lot, juvia doesn't change her behavior at all after this pathetic excuse of an apology. Throughout the rest of the story, she continues her unwanted, extreme, intrusive behavior towards Gray. she doesn't change one darn thing about how she treats him. (And it continues all the way even through 100YQ [which of course I don't include in the FT canon, but Pros do, so I shall include it here], only from what I've seen, which thankfully isn't much, it may somehow be even worse). If she were really sorry, she would've decided to stop loving Gray regardless of if he forgave her. she didn't take any convincing that what she did was guiltless. I can't believe (but I can because it's juvia we're talking about here) that she wouldn't take any of the meager amount of time that she felt bad to self-reflect on how her actions have negatively affected Gray. Whom am I kidding, that would require character growth, and we all who aren't blind can tell that she's had absolutely none beyond leaving Phantom Lord, and even that was just because she had a crush on Gray, not because she wanted to apologize to FT or Lucy for all the egregious things she did to them.

If anyone has other instances they want me to break down, feel free to comment them or send me an ask! I don't want to make this impossibly long haha.

Anyway, onto your next point, Anon, as I sort of mentioned when linking my other post, I totally agree with you that "there isn't much to her character, aside from lusting for Gray". I would even go as far as to argue that there isn't anything to her character beyond her perverted tendencies towards him. Literally, if you strip Gray away from her theoretically, what is she? she has no hobbies, she basically has no friends whom she's gone out of her way to make and hang out with (because yes, Mashima made the stupid move of making all the girls in FT like her for literally zero reason because she's been hostile to most of them on the basis of Gray), she has no motivations or hopes and dreams. she is nothing without Gray. she is the definition of a "satellite character", a character written to only revolve around another one with no agency of their own. Don’t forget, she even began to adopt Gray’s habit (and perhaps trauma coping mechanism) of stripping. she lacks THAT much self that she begins to turn into the guy she likes. Wow. Disgusting.

Onto your last point, I think I'd agree with you, that a big reason why juvia is popular is just because people like how she looks. But she's the very typical slim-curvy woman with a huge chest and butt and giant eyes that Mashima loves to draw. There's nothing wrong with that body type, but it's not like she looks that different from anyone else in the show because of that, especially since she kept changing her looks to try to get Gray to like her and literally grew her hair out and stopped curling it to look more like Lucy, someone who is Gray's type canonically. she even starts to show more skin like the others, a far cry from the completely covered up Rain Woman. Perhaps they like her color scheme or her dead-fish eyes as well. I couldn't understand it myself, but to each their own really.

I personally thought that the biggest reason why people liked her was because they projected themselves onto her. juvia does what juvia wants, completely self-centered in every way, ignoring Gray's consent, and yet she still comes out on top, having secured poor Gray's affections by the time of 100YQ thanks to Mashima's poor writing. juvia acts however she wants towards other people, snarling and glaring and insulting other women in Gray's life to their faces just because of her inane jealousy, and yet she somehow ends up every single girl’s friend. juvia acts insane and delusional and has only eyes for one man, and yet she gets other people to hit on her all the time, most notably Lyon.

Who wouldn't want to act completely selfishly like juvia does and still gain everything you desire? Who wouldn't want to ignore everyone else's needs and wants and only care about yourself and still get all the attention and all the power and all the love and all the friends and all your dreams come true?

Sounds like such an easy, fun life, huh? But it's a totally self-absorbed and awful way to live, and it's exactly how juvia lives.

My guess is that people use her as a self-insert character and root for her in their own stead, but I think that's very subconscious, and most wouldn't admit to that. Otherwise, I would really love to see how people justify her behavior as laudable, but then again, I have seen those attempts, and none of them have made any real logical sense to me.

All in all, thank you so much for your patience and for sending this ask! I hope I answered it properly, and I appreciate you waiting so long!