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#i didn’t want to make this too long
dahyun · 4 months
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i’m really sorry to post this, but i am struggling a lot right now and i could use some help. my job search has come to a standstill because i no longer have a reliable means of transportation. i have been using what little money i have left to help buy food for my family. i don’t know what i’m going to do once it’s all gone
any little amount will help immensely and if anyone can share this i would be extremely grateful!!!
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(here is a pic of hazel as a token of apology lol)
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turtleblogatlast · 2 months
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Headcanon that Leo really loved to give his family massages growing up. We know that he’s good at them from the episode “You Got Served” and we know he likes spas and relaxation and getting massages himself from when he tried to get these in “Bad Hair Day” and from when Donnie made a tennis ball massage machine in “Smart Lair.”
So I think it’d be cute to think that maybe one day Leo overheard Splinter complaining about a bad back and immediately Leo thinks back to a comic or movie or something he saw where a massage helped so he offers to give one and it actually ends up helping Splinter.
Then April swings by the Lair at a later time and mentions her back hurting because of her backpack from school and Leo’s all like “I gotcha!”
From there, he occasionally manages to convince Donnie to sit for one because Donnie’s shrimp posture does not help him any (Leo pokes fun at how sandpaper-y Donnie’s shell is despite knowing it’s always like that and Donnie smacks him for it.) Donnie usually prefers hand massages instead however as all his typing and inventing adds up over time, and shoulder massages too once he starts wearing his battle shells more. Leo also figures out how to give massages to Raph and Mikey’s shells as well, though it’s a struggle at first to not scratch his hands on Raph’s spikes.
I think since Leo has such bad luck with spas and the like, he tries giving himself massages (though it’s not as helpful.) Like, with how his abilities work his legs are probably always aching from his portal jumping and one foot landings, so maybe he branches past back massages out of a need to help his own aches too. (Though he really wants a shell massage himself, the same way he’d give them…the one time with Donnie’s tennis ball massage machine was but a short moment of what Leo’s been missing out on and what he’ll continue missing out on…)
I don’t know, I just think it’d be cute to think Leo could have honed his massaging skill this way in order to help out his family (and also partially because he wants a massage himself.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#this unironically is a smidge pointing to the medic Leo headcanon too#because massages are really good at relieving pain you didn’t even know you had#not just for backs but for your hands your feet your neck#poor Leo just wants to be the one getting a massage for once in ‘Bad Hair Day’ but no#he’s really good at getting everyone else to chill and rest and relax in general it’s very interesting to see#unironically I wonder if Leo could be really good at meditation so long as you call it relaxation instead#also after the invasion I’d imagine everyone has some aches and pains#ironically enough Leo himself likely has the most from the sheer amount of blunt force trauma and potential broken bones#so it’s sad to think the one who massages best is the one who needs it most alas#imagine a time where Draxum finally manages to get on Leo’s good side and Leo hears him complaining that his cafeteria job gives back pains#and Leo’s like UGH FINE I GUESS I’LL HELP#I also like to think that for all they tease Raph for his ‘chasm’ Leo sometimes will massage Raph’s face#and when he does Raph finally relaxes enough to look his age#when Mikey starts growing hair he loves when Leo massages his scalp esp if he’s helping to wash it too#mayhem doesn’t like Leo much at first but QUICKLY warms up to him because of how good his pets are#smart lair shows they all canonically love massages actually I was reminded! so this makes even more sense with that too
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dreamyintersexouppy · 23 days
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all the tme intersex people i used to know suddenly jumping on the newest transmisogynistic bandwagon and immediately spewing all the same “ur just overreacting, you call everything transmisogyny, stop being hysterical!!!” bullshit really puts into perspective how the intersex community on here gained any traction to begin with, y’all are not immune to pulling the same bullshit perisex people do and you’re calling the intersex transfems arguing against you perisex??? just to let afabs pretend to be us so you have that idealized quiet trans woman again, like i’m sorry but this is a strawman on par with “white trans woman” nothing has changed and at some point you need to realize that your conception of what these terms mean just doesn’t reflect their actual rhetorical use in real conversations about queerness
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tennessoui · 11 days
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it’s like baby gorl there’s no way I, the author who wrote the fic you’re commenting on and who is the intended audience for this comment, am gonna agree with you 😿🙏 some things can just stay on your chest 🙏
#there’s a threshold I think of what I accept in comments about characters#and their actions or about who is in the wrong or what should happen#because I do like reading people’s opinions#and sometimes when someone is like I didn’t like obi-wan in this fic#I’m like makes sense! maybe you weren’t supposed to or maybe the argument they had was supposed to not be clear cut on who is right#because arguments in real life don’t always have a clear cut winner or morally superior person lmao#I’m ok with that I’m ok with comments saying boo this character is annoying#because sometimes they just are (eg the amount of people who just don’t like obiwan in pbatmb like?? yeah of course he’s not gonna be nice#but I digress lol#anyway but there’s a threshold of when comments about not liking a character go too far and you’re just like.#saying mean things about the writing itself and that’s not something lm gonna allow to be normalized#no matter the intention behind it#you do not type a comment like this knowing it wil be send to an author#who will get an email notification about a comment#click on it and go oooo long comment :D and then go oh.#you don’t do that it’s rude it’s being a jerk#I’ve been here for like 3 almost 4 years I feel ancient in this fandom sometimes#and I’ve gotten so much feedback on my work through that time and so many nice comments and community#but mean comments can really hurt especially new writers#and they can make people who maybe would write fic for a fandom decide to not#like this isn’t even that mean I can almost see the writer just wanting to say how they feel#but sometimes you do not have to 🙏#also I just think this understanding of the characterizations in the fic and probably their understanding of the characters in the films#is a wee bit trash but that’s for me to say in the long tags of my own blog post and not for me to comment on their fics for the fandom#(they don’t have any but I did check because 3am kit felt nosy)
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supercalime · 5 months
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No one asked but I have a take haha.
I have zero problem with buck and eddie being an item, the biggest problem I have is their stans acting the way they are now with the current storyline with tommy.
I mean, I hate to break it to the b*ddie st*ns but you can think your friends are hot and like, not want to pursue them, whether you realize you’re queer or not. The fans are undermining so much of the current storyline that it makes me sad.
Im as aroace as one can be, but also I have eyes lol. I see hot/attractive people, I of course can admit that they are hot/attractive. It doesn’t mean that I want to be with them specifically sexually or romantically.
Also, figuring out your sexuality is confusing and weird. I definitely thought I had a crush on a friend solely because they were a person I got along with and spent a lot of time with and thought that was what I was supposed to do (by the time I thought I was allo).
What I mean is that it’s not always black and white when it comes to what attraction is.
Another thing, and this is pure speculation on my part: the actors are VERY aware of b*ddie and know that it’s one of the biggest reasons people keep watching the show, so they might keep on stirring the pot a bit in the interviews because they know it can create enough buzz for the show to trend and make the network/producers/investors keep renewing it so they can keep their jobs for as long as possible.
Im not saying b*ddie fans are delusional or anything like that but I am really disappointed how many of them (or at least a loud minority) is treating the canon ship as if it’s a stepping stone for another that has yet to be fully confirmed on screen. Sure there are signs in retrospect, but like I said, you can think someone is attractive without wanting to be with them.
This whole thing of buck having always been in love with eddie irks me a bit as it falls in a trope I don’t personally like (someone sticking around because they are pining over their friend the whole time and the friendship is a stepping stone to romance). I mean, if b*ddie happens and it’s done well, I’m all for it. What I really don’t want to happen is the trope I mentioned above. If it’s meant to happen, the best way in my opinion is for the two guys to develop those feelings with time, not it being a realization that they were in love the whole time. Heck, there are dcoms that did friends to lovers quite decently in the past and it wasn’t a “it has always been youuu” situation.
In conclusion, the only thing we gotta take is what is confirmed on screen, in canon. If we are supposed to listen to anyone talking about ships and storyline is Tim Menear and the other writers. And what has been confirmed so far by Tim is that Buck was jealous of Eddie being with Tommy because he was attracted to Tommy without realizing it. In canon so far, that’s what is happening and you have to accept that. The story is about Buck coming to terms with his bisexuality and him and Tommy being in a romantic relationship.
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9ofspades · 3 months
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It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.
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only-god-canstopme · 1 year
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aaron forgiving andrew for killing tilda when he has children of his own because he thinks that if she were around he never would’ve let her meet them.
(and if he didn’t want his children near her, or any children near her, that means that he, as a child, should’ve never been near her. and he gets what andrew did bc he would kill to keep these children safe too.)
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sableeira · 9 months
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always wanted to arrange my artworks in a gradient and since I started drawing again over a year ago, I was finally able to put this together 🫶
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aalghul · 3 months
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comics are difficult to get into and the inconsistencies can be annoying/confusing and there is a lot of material to get through if you want to read major characters. but: it’s never so serious that you should let this stuff overwhelm you. just pick stuff up and try to figure out what’s going on. if you have a hard time going through a character’s reading order chronologically, just pick an event and read the issues for that specific story (trade paperbacks will make your life easier here). it’s literally not a commitment, tou can jump around however you like. reading comics isn’t homework, it should be fun
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grapestones · 12 days
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Still thinking about Shen Jiu and Jiang Cheng, so what if it's Shen Jiu transmigration into mdzs after reading the novel and he sees aspects of Jiang Cheng and feels them and becomes protective of him. So when he becomes an npc, whether a Jiang disciple from the start or someone else, going from rogue cultivator to a loyal disciple, he becomes insanely protective and even possessive of Jiang Cheng.
Man the possibilities. If he's there before the massacre, Shen Jiu trying to prevent it, and failing that he would guard Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli so much. Hate Wei Wuxian, but being careful with it (he understand what it's like to have a shitty childhood, but he's also jealous because Wei Wuxian did have a better life after being a street rat, not like Shen Jiu, who was abused way more as a slave, and he blames Wei Wuxian a lot. Guy is a hater lmao), and oh, he would adore Jiang Yanli, only the best for her. Yu Ziyuan is a boss and Jiang Fengmian's a rat in his eyes.
And if it's after, during the rebuilding of Lotus Pier, Shen Jiu would support Jiang Cheng so fucking much. My guy might be filled with hate and anger, but he's loyal (at least that's what fandom wiki tells me, I honestly don't remember enough which is such a fucking shame), he's smart, he can rise to be a second in command easily.
He would be there for Jiang Cheng, he would try to save Jiang Yanli, would give a firm talking to Jin Zixuan, threaten Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian, watch for Jin Gungyao and Nie Huaisang and be awkward as hell with Jin Ling.
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turtleblogatlast · 2 months
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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gumy-shark · 8 hours
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Do you ever think about Mobs repressed anger. Do you ever think about his manga lines about just how badly Reigens lies fucked him up. Do you ever think about how he felt like nobody would actually come to help him, nobody would actually be there if he needed, nobody would actually be around him if it wasn't for the Mob persona. Do you ever think about how he felt like any good traits in him were a lie he made to be liked. Do you ever think about how he thinks the only way to be truly seen is to tear apart his life from the ground up so nobody will try to use him anymore. Do you ever think about Shigeo
”the only one who ever saved me was me” but angry! because he shouldn’t have had to save himself! (and also him Needing to shatter everyone’s perception of him in the most destructive way possible because if there’s even a chance that they genuinely liked him. that they would accept him even when he’s the monster he’s been afraid of his whole life. then everything he’s done and believed and every part of himself he’s suffocated to death- wasn’t necessary. if people other than tsubomi (or possibly ritsu as per the manga) can understand and accept him as he “truly is” then he could’ve been a Person this entire time!!)
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meltedmush · 3 months
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how long does it take you to draw your sketches/doodles? also do you have any tips to draw faster? 🙇‍♀️
I generally take 30 - 60 minutes a sketch,,,, but honestly really depends on how detailed it is.
Like a Chibi will be done in 20 - 25 minutes (Counting in the extra time I spend on minute details like a perfectionist 😭)
I for some reason really like spending egregious amounts of time on random objects too??? Unless it’s the in the background, I’ll spend 40 minutes refining it.
Random characters that are fully colored and rendered with take like 80 minutes.
The comics take usually take an hour or two per page. (If I decide to cross hatch it, my entire day will be gone with 4 pages… so I’ve been trying to find shortcuts. But not without sacrificing the quality for time lol)
I don’t think there’s any trick or magic to drawing faster. It’s really about weaponizing your artistic knowledge, and finding what’s comfortable or convenient for you!
There was a period of time where I would spend 11 or 12 hours on an illustration, and it wASS UGLYYYYY. (Some of these artworks are still available on my tumblr,,, but it’s SO LONG AGO, AND IT WAS MY 1ST OR 2ND YEAR GETTING INTO DIGITAL ART)
Overtime I learned what worked best for me, and practiced till I felt more comfortable with what I was drawing. Eventually I managed to shorten the time to 4 hours or less! Ambition was my biggest enemy but at the same time my biggest motivator. (And it still is LMFAO) 😭
EDIT (bit more to my way too long tangent): ALSO??? BRO DON’T BE AFRAID TO USE YOUR MESSY SKETCH AS LINEART OR DRAW ON TOP OF IT. I’VE DONE IT FOR YEARS NOW AND IT ADDS SUCH A GOOD EXTRA BIT OF TEXTURE,, AT THIS POINT I DON’T EVEN USE LINE-ART ANY MORE UNLESS IT’S A COMMISSION,, (IT’LL ADD LIKE AN 2-4 HOURS TO MY WORK)
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#mushyrt#asks#that word minute bothers me so much#I look at it and want to refer to it as the time minute#this sketch took about 3 minutes when it should’ve been 1 minute#BUT I WAS SO HYPERFIXATED ON THE EYESSS#i say these pretty words#but THE REAL TIP IS HONESTLY THE LASSO TOOL#LASSO TOOL IS THE BEST#IT’S MY FAVORITE TOOL FOR MAKING BACKGROUNDS OR QUICK SHADING OR COLORING#OR ALSO THE MASK TOOL#TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM#THEY’RE SO GOOD#Procreate mask tool kinda sucksss#SO USE ALPHA LOCK IF YOU ARE A CONFIDENT PERSON#OR NOT AFRAID TO F**K UP#Bro I sometimes draw on 1 layer and use alpha lock and my friends look at me like I’m a menace#BUT IT!S USEFULLLL AND SO EASY#This little tangent definitely should’ve been my answer for the ‘how much do you draw’ question#but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time#AND I’M A MANIAC WHEN IT COMES TO DRAWING 😭😭#even if you rob me of a paper or pencil I WILL FIND A WAY TO DRAW#I WILL SCRATCH INTO YOUR SHIRT AND ROCKS AND MAKE AN ARTWORK OUT OF WATER OR CAT FUR#YOU WILL NOT DEPRIVE ME OF MY CREATIVE ENDEAVORS#This didn’t stick out to me until one of my friends said ‘omg ofc she’s drawing’ under her breath#like I spend every second of free time I have drawing unless I find something else interesting#The only time I’m not drawing is when I’m on the toilet or doing random everyday stuff#I forgot to talk about this but greyscale to color is insanely useful too; it teaches you different values while also being super fast#i tend to use greyscale to color when I do a BW sketch I end up liking#TL;DR - Lasso Tool + Layer Mask + Alpha Lock + Sketch as lineart
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writingsfromhome · 2 years
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Things to Learn
Request: hiii idk if youve thought about this but what about a mean girl!yn and nerd!harry high school fic or something like that :))
A/N: it is what the request says, idk if this is exactly what you wanted but writing a mean girl!yn was different for me. I also wrote this from Harry’s third pov so that’s also different lol. Hope you enjoy it? Thanks for the req :) <3
Part 1 / 2 / 3 /
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Harry hated girls like her. Hate was a strong word, he knew that. And he used it still.
He eyes her again as she sits on the lunch table and talks animatedly to her friends about something shallow or irrelevant. He goes back to the sandwich he had for lunch.
“She’s out of your league mate,” Harry’s best friend tells him.
“What?”
“YN? You’re staring at her. She’s out of your league. Like so far that even if you climbed a mountain and looked over everything you wouldn’t be able to see-“
“I got it,” Harry didn’t like her. He knew she was well out of his league and he didn’t care. He had one more year of this shite called high school and then he was off to uni. His sister always told him high school labels didn’t follow you there. “I don’t even like her. I was just looking.”
His friend makes a noise, he didn’t believe him.
“I’m serious. Ms. Easton partnered us in history probably because she’s not doing well. I’ve got the highest grade. But she’s insufferable.”
“You’re insufferable,” his friend shoots back. “If I was partnered with her I’d be shooting my shot. Every chance.”
“I’d rather shoot myself,” Harry mutters. He had history next period and he wasn’t looking forward to it. Their class had booked the library for research period and that meant suffering through it with YN.
He’s first to arrive at the library and books a computer. They were researching the royal family, he didn’t know what angle the paper was going to be from but he would figure it out later. Alone. Because YN was always too busy not giving a shit.
The truth was, he just didn’t understand girls like YN. How they could be so shallow and rude for no reason, he didn’t think the world was rainbows and unicorns but it was decent to just be a little nicer. She was judgemental, loud, and of course attractive as hell. But her personality ruined any good looks in his opinion. So even though he was staring at lunch, he didn’t find her very attractive.
“I guess we’re sitting here,” speak of the devil. Surprisingly YN is here before the bell goes off. She sits in the seat next to Harry and her bag is thrown on the floor.
“Hi to you too,” Harry mutters. He ignores her, continuing to flip through his textbook for the correct chapter.
“Have we decided on a topic?”
Harry grits his teeth. I don’t know YN have we? Instead he says, “No.”
“Oh, well why not just do it on what’s going on right now?”
“Because it’s a history class,” Harry finally look at her. He remembers it was a little nerve wracking to do that when they were first partnered but now his annoyance triumphed any nerves.
“And?” She scrunches her brows. “Isn’t that the point?”
She had no idea what she was talking about. He shakes his head and goes back to his textbook.
“You don’t have to be such a nerd all the time you know that?” She continues.
Harry ignores her.
“Hello?” She snaps her fingers. Who did she think she was?
“Can we just work?” Harry couldn’t stand her.
The bell rings. YN picks up her phone in a huff and Harry goes back to Googling for their project.
***
Harry packs his bag with the books he needs as students rush past him to go home. His bag weighed a million pounds and he’s pretty sure it aged his back 40 years but it was either his grades or his back that suffered.
“Hey Harry,” a voice calls out to him as we heads out the door. He turns to it; Raina, one of YN’s friends. She twirls her blonde hair and tilts her head. “It is Harry right?”
“Uhm,” suddenly Harry’s throat was parched. Raina was gorgeous and gorgeous girls never spoke to him.
“You’re cute,” she gets up close and personal with Harry and everything in that big brain of his liquifies and slides away. “So I heard you’re giving my bestie a hard time.”
“Your-uh,” what was wrong with him? Focus!
“My bestie! YN?”
“Oh,” the name snaps him out. Was this a prank, why was Raina talking to him? “W-what?”
“I thought you were smart,” she tilts her head again, this time Harry understands it to be condescending. “Did you not understand the question?”
Harry hears a snicker from behind him. His heart drops, he knew what was happening yet he walked right into it.
“Harry’s really smart,” YN’s voice comes from behind. “So smart he can’t even talk to me. Like, I’ll bring down your IQ or something right?”
“I never said that,” Harry turns, back to the wall like he was in some sort of fight for his life and he had to cover all his angles.
“Then what’s your problem?” YN demands. Her friend takes a back seat, staring at him from behind YN’s shoulder.
“I didn’t say I had one,” Harry mumbles.
“What? Speak up!” With one hand on her hip, YN was the image of a mean girl. Harry’s gaze flickers up to her face and he realizes she was actually angry. At him. He looks away.
“You’re so pathetic,” she tells him. “You can barely look me in the eye when I’m talking to you but you think you’re a hot shot just cuz you get straight As. You can take your intellectual superiority and shove it up your ass.”
He was surprised to hear her say intellectual superiority, then he realizes the irony of thinking that.
“This guy bothering you?”
Great. Harry hitches his backback higher on his shoulders. One of YN’s soccer star boyfriends had joined. He looks Harry up and down with a condescending smirk.
“No, I got it.” YN says but her friend opens her big mouth.
“He thinks he’s the smartest person here, he treats YN like shite.”
“Really?” He turns to Harry and now is when Harry realizes he was deep in. There was no way out.
“I’m sorry,” he looks YN in the eye and only her. He had to make a quick exit, find a way out of this before these meatheads decided to defend YN’s honour or something like that.
“Too late for sorry,” Raina says. Another guy—Brett joins the crowd.
“What’s going on?” He asks.
“Nothing,” YN says while her eyes stay on Harry.
“Hey Harry! Mate! This guy helped me pass my maths last semester.”
“Yeah he’s a nerd,” the other guy says to Brett. “That’s the point.”
“Hey Brett,” Harry nods. He should go, he thinks. Make a move. Get out of this circle forming around him.
“He’s a dick to YN,” Raina reminds everyone. What was her issue? “And he’s always staring at her like a creep.”
YN turns to look at her friend. Raina widens her eyes and shrugs.
“What the fuck?” The other guy, Harry had no idea what his name was, steps closer to Harry. “Are you a fucking perv?”
Statistically, this guy with his brute force and reactivity was probably more likely to be a perv over the years than Harry. But Harry doesn’t think it’s a good time to say that.
“Anyway,” YN says and with that all eyes are on her. “Apology not accepted. I’m over this let’s go.”
She walks away from him, Raina eyes him and follows. Their friend gives Harry the stink eye and follows too. Brett’s left. He shrugs and finally leaves Harry alone.
Little by little the breath comes back to his lungs and with shaky steps Harry exits the building. Some students lingering in the hall stare as he goes, probably the audience to what almost went down. And this was why Harry hated YN.
***
Over the next week Harry tries to be less intellectually superior to YN and practices looking her in the eye. He doesn’t know why it was so hard.
And it surprises him when the words coming out of her mouth aren’t entirely superficial and basic. But she continues to verbally abuse and belittle him and Harry continues to take it, his ire growing more by the day.
Just on Tuesday, at lunch she’d sent one of her boyfriends to sit at his table where he threatened Harry. Harry’s friend had stared at his phone the whole time, traitor. And yesterday YN had listed for him all the ways he could improve his appearance during class.
“Your hair could use a nice trim,” she tells him. “And your glasses are so 1970s. Like not in a trendy way. And honestly Harry why do you wear clothes that are too big and too old. Like seriously…”
It was hard not to be a know-it-all when that’s what she wanted to spend her time talking about.
“My appearance isn’t really a priority for me,” Harry had said hoping to shut her up.
“It really should be. Hey,” she’d called out to a friend of hers in class. “Don’t you think Harry’s style is sad?”
“Him?” Her friend had asked, like she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to say it in front of him. Harry had burned with embarrassment. “Yeah I reckon he could use a makeover.”
“Yeah maybe then he’d get a girlfriend. Get his nose out of his books.”
They laughed and the sound was haunting. Harry stayed staring at his book, gritting his teeth. He’d never had a girlfriend, gone on two dates in his life. It didn’t usually bother him but somehow YN made it feel like an open wound.
On Thursday, they have another research period.
“And how are we doing here?” Ms. Easton leans down and balances on their table. Harry and YN opted for a table and books this period.
“Good,” YN sits up. “Just finishing our research.”
“Good,” Ms. Easton smiles. “Did you two decide on a topic?”
Harry doesn’t look but he can feel her rolling her eyes. “Yeah. Harry wanted to do the royal family and their war legacy.”
“Hm.”
Harry was sensitive to feedback. When you’re smart you don’t get a lot of criticism, and when you do, it’s a hard pill to swallow. That’s why he was so sensitive to the tone of his teacher’s voice. He looks up to her. Was it just him or did she look a bit disappointed.
“S’not a good topic?” Harry asks. YN glances at him.
“Well,” the teacher crosses an arm over her abdomen and waves the other hand. She was choosing her words. “I was hoping putting the two of you together would produce an interesting project. Something out of the ordinary.”
“Oh.” Harry feels his grade flash in front of his eyes. Well, not flash but plummet.
“Hmph,” YN says in satisfaction. “Well Harry here felt very strongly about the topic.”
“Okay,” Ms. Easton pursues her lips. “It is a good topic. I’m looking forward to hearing all about it at the end of the month!”
As soon as their teacher is out of hearing range YN turns to Harry.
“I told you so.”
With that, she gets out of her seat and walks away. Out of the library, swiping the hall pass on her way out.
Suddenly he was hot. Very hot. Harry could feel the sweat dampen his shirt and he pulls the collar away from his neck. His project was disappointing? He was doing something wrong?
He stumbles up and finds Ms. Easton.
“Yes Harry?” She addresses him when she’s done with the pair she’d been talking to.
“Um what you said,” Harry clears his throat. “About the project. And pairing me with YN. I don’t understand…should we change it?”
“Up to you two to decide!” She says vaguely. “I can’t pick your topics for you. And you should only change it if you think you have enough time.”
“But our topic is disappointing?” Harry didn’t understand why Ms. Easton would make those comments and not just tell them upfront what she wants.
“No not at all!” she guides Harry to a bookshelf where it’s quieter. “War is a classic topic. But it’s also a very…straightforward topic do you understand?”
Classic was good. Classic was timeless, is that not what she wanted!?
“Harry,” she chides when he continues staring at her. “Listen. You’re a bright kid. Really, proper smart. I know you’ll do amazing in your future regardless of what I say in this class.”
It was YN. There was a but coming and she was going to say something about YN.
“But I’ve had a few bright kids in my class before. The thing about history is it repeats and the pattern I see is that there’s a creative energy even in something like history that’s lost on big brains like yours. That’s why I paired you with YN. I thought you two would complement the way you think really well. I was hoping to see a new topic come out of it. That’s not to say your current topic isn’t fabulous. I think if you want to continue with it, I’m excited to learn more.”
Harry doesn’t have anything to say. Actually, he’s embarrassed. This whole time he thought being partnered with YN was because she was failing or doing horribly. When really it was because the teacher thought he could use some help. Intellectual superiority 100, Harry 0.
“You two are getting along right?” Ms. Easton probes.
“Yeah,” Harry lies.
“She’s letting you call the shots?” She asks casually.
“Ehm,” Harry wavers. He had taken the reigns immediately because he didn’t think she could handle them. He feels his face turn more pink.
“The great thing about this project is to collaborate. Throughout history some of the best things were brought from collaborating…”
Harry zones her out and looks back at their desk. YN is still not there. Maybe she was skipping. But he spots her bag, that wasn’t true.
“Oh I better go help out your classmate,” Ms. Easton points to where someone has their hand up. “You’re alright?”
“Yeah,” Harry shakes the funk off. Maybe he’ll listen to YN more now but they only had a week and a half and it would be crazy to change their topic now.
But as he sits in his seat and waits for YN to return, to collaborate with, he feels it again. The sinking feeling. Like something was his fault.
YN was the mean girl but he hasn’t been the most friendly either.
After another 10 minutes go by he gets out of his seat and grabs the second hall pass.
He spots around the toilets, moves through the halls, and makes his way back to a stairwell. There YN leans against a wall on her phone. She doesn’t look up as he walks down until he stands in front of her.
“Oh,” the glow of her phone moves off her face, muffled by her sweater. “I thought you were random.”
“Are you coming back?” Harry asks. Still, his eyes flit from her face to her neck, settling on the wall behind her.
“Why does it matter? You’re doing the project with or without me.”
His throat feels like it’s stuffed with cotton as he swallows. He should apologize. He should-
“Why are you so awkward for?” She demands. “Like. You’re smart and all but you’re kind of weird.”
Nevermind. He was so not apologizing.
“Hello? And then you go so quiet when I say anything direct. You can be smart as shite but you’re not making it anywhere if you can’t even talk to a girl without staring a hole into the space beside her.”
Harry’s mum always said to be himself. This was him, smart (nerdy—fine), quiet, awkward, and bookish. But it wasn’t easy to be this way when girls like YN existed. They were confident and loud, and she called him out like his sister did. But she was nothing like her. She was beautiful and she knew it. And she was rude, but maybe her mum told her to be herself too and this was it.
“What are you thinking?” She demands.
“What?” Harry asks in surprise.
“I want to know what the fuck you’re thinking in that big brain! You’re so awkward! Jeez!”
“I’m-I-why?”
“I don’t get you.” She gives him a once over. “So? What were you thinking?“
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit.”
“Seriously I-“
“Tell me.”
“I…” Harry trails away. He turns away from her and walks to the other end of the stairwell, pivots, and stands a few feet in front of her. “I was just wondering if this is who you really are.”
“Me? How am I?” Eyes narrowed, she sounds both curious and defensive.
“Really?” Harry meets her eye. “You’ve got such an attitude, you’re rude and loud and pushy, and I don’t know why you don’t like me but you’re always so condescending so I was just wondering if that’s who you are. Like when your mum says to be yourself, is that who you chose?”
Her mouth drops, then it snaps shut and her arms cross over in defence.
“You know why I don’t like you?” She asks. “Because you’ve got an attitude. You’re rude and pushy and condescending to fuck. So let me ask you—is that who you are? Is that who mummy tucks into bed each night?”
Harry’s impressed how she’s turned it around on him. He doesn’t take it seriously until she breaks eye contact and looks away.
“If I listened to my mom’s advice, I would be a bloody doormat in this place. I’d be used and discarded like a wet wipe. I have to be rude and pushy. And don’t even get me started on boys like you, who call girls pushy just because they know what they want. I can’t afford to be who I am, like you can, because I don’t have the privilege of being a bloke.”
They have a stare-off, mostly Harry is just surprised at everything coming out of her mouth. She goes on.
“I know who you are Harry. I know you’ve got a mum and sister you’re close with. I’ve seen you around town. For someone with two women like that in your life you can look up to, you sure are a misogynistic prick.”
Harry’s left stunned. He didn’t think she ever noticed him let alone know him. He replays her words, her glimpse of vulnerability. If her words were an essay, there would be no red ink. It was hard for him to accept but she was right. From the start, when Ms. Easton paired them he made a million assumptions about her. That were all proven wrong. And Ms. Easton was right too: he was smart and good at being smart but maybe there was more than that.
“Now you’re quiet again!?” YN sounds defeated.
“No wait,” Harry speaks up before she leaves. “I’m sorry. Seriously.”
“Yeah whatever,” she rolls her eyes. “I’m over this.”
“Actually,” he steps in the same direction she does as she heads for the door. She stops in surprise. “Actually I am sorry. I was being intellectually superior. You’re smart too. I’m sorry.”
She looks at him warily, like he was going to laugh at her and tell her he was joking. When he doesn’t, when he maintains eye contact even though it kills him inside she backs away. Her face relaxes, like she’s accepted backing down. It was quite a sight for Harry, to see YN the Mean Girl who’s been making the last couple weeks hell for him, transform into something softer. Something that—he was still nervous to look at for too long, but one he could look at a little easier.
“I don’t want to write about the royal family and their fucking war legacy.”
Harry wasn’t expecting that.
“That’s basic as hell, I’m falling asleep just imagining us presenting it. It’s like buying drugstore when we can be buying Sephora.”
She squints at him, waiting for a rebuttle but he lets her have this one. After what Ms. Easton said, Harry was realizing that being smart didn’t mean you were right all the time. And he also had no idea what her example meant.
“Wow. Nothing?”
“No, I agree.” Harry smiles, a little embarrassed but wow. Her mouth splits into a grin and it changes her whole face. She’s suddenly younger, carefree, in that moment as Harry remembers how to breathe, he sees the person her mother tells her to be.
“What?” The staircase dims as she takes the smile back. “Are you going to go back to being mute.”
“No,” I was just admiring how beautiful you looked right now. Maybe you’re not who I thought you were. But you’re also way out of my league so now I have to act cool about it. “I just don’t know if we have time-“
“Stop.” She puts her hand up and walks towards him, back to the doors. “I’m going to come up with a pitch so good I’ll be picking your jaw off the floor and wiring it shut again. And…you can pitch your sad topic to me. The best one wins.”
“But we can just vote our own,” Harry points out the flaw in her plan, ignoring her threat.
“I think we’re both mature enough to hear each other out?” She opens the door back to the hall and Harry scrambles through it to keep up.
“I know I am,” Harry says it before he can think. Uh oh.
“You’re cheeky,” YN eyes him but she doesn’t look upset. Actually, she looks delighted. “Not just a quiet nerd hm?”
Harry shrugs, they had really been their stereotypes the last few weeks.
“So what you said before, you think I’m smart?”
“Well, yeah. I guess.” Harry felt uncomfortable now on the spot.
“So like you think I can be the future prime minister?”
“I…don’t know about that.” Harry side eyes her to notice she’s smiling. She was teasing him.
The bell rings out as they near the library.
“Talk to you tomorrow,” she says to him. She shoots him another smile and Harry tries to memorize it, second guessing he ever thought she was unattractive.
***
That Friday it’s like Harry and YN never had that conversation. She ignores him in the halls as usual, her friends sneer at him when they catch him looking their way. As much as Harry didn’t want to be disappointed, he was. Why did he think anything was going to be different?
But he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her smile was a loop in his head any time his mind wanders. No wonder their whole grade was in love with her.
“You’re staring. Again.” Harry’s mate says at lunch. This time Harry looks away quickly, embarrassed. “What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing,” he says quickly. “She’s just been making my life hell since we partnered up.”
“Yeah I heard those guys roughened you up at lunch the other day.”
They didn’t. But they did aim a basketball around the net as Harry was walking by yesterday and it had hit him. His glasses had fallen off but luckily nothing broke.
“Just one more week,” Harry mutters. Earlier this week he was counting down the days. Now he wasn’t so sure.
When the bell rings signalling the end of lunch, Harry is surprised when YN falls in line with him to their class.
“Pitch ready?” She asks. She smelled amazing like flowers and tea. Focus.
“Yep,” Harry didn’t put much effort into it. He didn’t have the same passion he did before and he was curious what YN had.
They get the last 20 minutes of class to work on their project. YN sits behind Harry so he turns when their time starts.
“Me first,” YN brings out a binder. She pulls out a folded piece of paper that she hands. He opens it and glitter falls into his lap.
“Ugh!” Harry jumps up but despite that his crotch sparkles. “What is this?”
YN’s eyes are lit up and she hides her giggles behind her hand. Harry stares, turning pink. Why would she do that?
“I’m so-“ she covers her mouth again. “I’m sorry!” She’s shaking as she tries to stop laughing. It’s kind of contagious and Harry cracks a smile.
“My pants are covered in glitter,” he deadpans which send her head onto the table as she shakes with laughter.
“It was just supposed to lighten the mood ohmygod,” YN can barely finish her sentence.
That was it. Harry tries to pick up whatever glitter he can, using the paper (he realizes it was her pitch) as a dustpan. He taps her behind the shoulder and she jumps up to turn, in that moment he dumps the paper on her and sits back down in satisfaction.
“Now we’re even,” Harry tell her. Her mouth is open in shock.
“No!” She tries to dust it off but her crotch, that Harry glances at, is also shimmering. “We were even after I did that to you! This is! Oh my god.”
She stands over Harry, her eyes glancing at his pants. A snicker escapes. Then she’s back in her seat laughing.
“I have to say your pitch is not going well,” Harry reminds her.
“Oh my god,” she tried to get serious but she’s still grinning. Harry doesn’t mind.
“Should I go first?” He asks.
“No no I got this. Okay. The royal family and…their influence on food. Now before you think it’s stupid did you know the matriarch actually has a list of forbidden foods. And if we go back, and look at the countries they invaded we can see…” YN grows serious, but passionate, as she begins pitching the topic. And before anything just her passion alone convinces Harry they had to do this topic. “From land to table.”
“Okay.” Harry says.
“Okay? Like that was just okay?”
“No, I vote your topic.”
“Oh my god really?” She lights up and it’s blinding. Harry wanted to make her light up every chance he got. Focus.
“Yeah I think it’s interesting. And different. But we only have a week.”
“That’s okay!” YN opens her binder and pulls out another sheet. “I did a bunch of research. I couldn’t really sleep last night cuz of…anyway. So our library has all these books that can help. And we can spend the weekend catching up right? We can meet at the local library and work. So we’re caught up by Monday.”
Wow. She really thought this through.
“Isn’t that too nerdy for you?” Harry has to ask. Didn’t she have something cooler to do on the weekend.
“Oh my god,” she rolls her eyes. That was the YN he knew. “Just because I’m not a nerd doesn’t mean I don’t care about my grades. You should know my lowest grade has been 82 this year.”
Wow. Even though Harry never scored below 95 that was still impressive coming from her. Which it shouldn’t be, he reminds himself. She was smart—just in a different way.
“Okay let’s do it!” Harry was excited. He suddenly understood what Ms. Easton was trying to say, he was missing creativity.
“Yay!” She squeezes his arm and Harry’s never felt more aware of his arm in his life. YN notices him freezing and she pulls away. “Sorry. I didn’t give you my cooties did I?”
She was quick. But it was funny and Harry can’t help but let out a snort.
“Is that a laugh? Are you laughing at something I said about you?”
Harry shakes his head and turns in his seat but his face is stuck in the grin. YN continues to heckle him from behind but she’s interrupted by the bell.
“Give me your number,” she says as he packs up. “So we can coordinate tomorrow.”
“Oh yeah,” Harry pulls up his contacts and hands her his phone. “Just put yours in.”
“Okay, I’m texting myself too,” she types for a while and then hands it back. It’s only later when she texts him at the end of the day does he click her contact.
Future Prime Minister YN ❤️
The picture is one of her from below with a serious face on. When he squints he realizes she’s flipping him off. It’s funny, and Harry feels like he sees her now. Even though she couldn’t always be herself like he could, Harry now understood her enough to recognize the glimpses of herself she was giving him.
It’s destined that every nerd falls for the mean girl. Harry never believed that until now. As YN becomes more recognizable to him, his crush grows a little more. He had to nip this in the bud, he realizes. Because she would never feel the same way. In a million years. But maybe they could be friends. Maybe it was time for Harry to discover who he could be when he wasn’t spending all his time being nerdy. He had a lot to learn from her, he realizes. And the one thing he was good at was studying.
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pippin-pippout · 3 months
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I just watched MelonTeee's video on Ace and Worth and man the internal debate I have with myself on whether I agree with the choice or not...
Her video explains the fandom's love for the character so well, as well as why the tragedy hit so hard. For me personally I have not been that affected by a character death in a LONG time.
And I understand it from a certain narrative perspective – mainly how Ace's past continues to feature in the story a decade later, and Whitebeard's line that someone would carry Ace's flame, because that clearly describing Luffy. He goes after the mera mera no mi and finishes what Ace started in Wano.
But there are two major narrative reasons given for Ace's death that I disagree with. And are largely why I think it shouldn't have happened, and also why the death has hit me so hard.
This is going to get long, but I would really love to hear everyone's thoughts on it if you choose to read!
To give Luffy the push he needed to be stronger: I am pretty confident this is Oda's stated reason (in addition to Oda wanting to prove he could kill characters which I guess he said at one point and which is bleh given the level of injury a character sustains seems to have nothing to do with whether they die or not lol it's just what the author wants to happen). Anyway. That push already happened on Sabaody when Luffy lost everyone to Duma. He was HELPLESS. More helpless than he was through most of marineford. And when Rayleigh convinces Luffy to do the 2 years training, Rayleigh only brings up their epic defeat on Sabaody. He does not bring up marineford or Ace's death as a reason Luffy needs to get stronger. Because Luffy did not need that reason. The only argument I can think of is that maybe once he landed on Amazon Lily, and he realized the strawhats were likely alive, the terror he felt on Sabaody abated slightly. And therefore maybe he needed a reminder of what "loss" truly is to re-motivate him. However, I don't think that is really fitting with his character or the story.
Ace's dream was fulfilled: Oda has talked about the reason he doesn't kill villains is because not having your dream fulfilled is a worse fate than death. I think part of the tragedy of Ace's death was that his dream wasn't fulfilled. Even for those who accept his last words - that he had only one regret which was not seeing Luffy accomplish his dream - the amount of time he got to live with that dream was literally the last moments of his life. But I don't think just because you die with no regrets, does not mean your dream is fulfilled. Especially when Ace never truly internalized what his dream was. His final choice to turn around showed HOW MUCH he still was that lonely, scared little kid he was at 10 despite his warm smile and his growing family. The most heartbreaking part of the flashback was not Sabo's death. It was watching Ace asking the question "do I deserve to exist?" and giving all his devotion to those who said yes. It was him making the exact same decision he would make 10 years later, to refuse to run, because he felt like if he ran he would lose everything and Luffy was standing behind him. Ace's final words do more than state he has no regrets. He also gives the answer to the question he'd asked Garp, and that Garp had said only his actions could decide. Ace died thanking Luffy and his family for loving him despite the "worthless" or "good for nothing" person he was. Ace was moved to tears to hear his family emphatically saying "YES. You do deserve to live! We want you to live!" But Ace never actually believed it. His last words were a reflection of gratitude for the love he was given that he didn't feel he deserved. And thus his final answer to the question "Do I deserve to exist?" was no.
That he was too "good" This is kind of the most upsetting one I've heard (thankfully not a lot) and also the one easiest to dismiss. Ace, being the actual son of the pirate king, being super powerful, growing in strength and reputation faster than Luffy (debatable), put him narratively in competition with Luffy. What I mean by that is it positions him as too much the golden character, the mary sue, the typical protagonist, when One Piece is about Luffy's story, not Ace's. I disagree with the premise of seeing Ace's character that way. But also even he was "that" character, it's pretty clear Ace's dream would have taken him to becoming Whitebeard's heir - whose dream it was to build a family - while Luffy is Gol D Roger's heir. So Ace's journey would have supported the main story of One Piece and also be narratively satisfying.
---
What Was Ace's Dream?
The dreams Ace stated out loud were more reflections of his actual, deeper dream. "I want to be the king of the pirates" - because he wanted to prove his existence and his worth to the world. Which switched to "I want to make whitebeard the king of the pirates" - because Whitebeard loved him despite his blood, and so even if that wasn't what Whitebeard wanted, it was how Ace understood he could repay Whitebeard.
Both of those stated dreams get back to this question he'd been asking his whole life - that of worth. Worth and Love, which, for Ace's character, are inseparable.
For Ace's dream to truly be fulfilled, it's not enough for him to accept he was loved – which he did on the scaffolds, crying from happiness – he had to believe he was worth that love. He had to love himself.
Ace died with that dream tragically unfulfilled.
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The Purpose of One Piece
Of course the decision to kill Ace makes the story more realistic and of course it is heartbreaking, tragic, moving, and obviously inspires deeper discussion.
However, what rankled me from when I first learned about his death, which was way before I was even introduced to the character in Alabasta, was that he is the only character of the younger generation (outside of flashbacks) to die.
Honestly when I first heard Ace was one of the only characters to die, I was just worried it would make him seem weaker or stupider than every other character, which is a personal pet peeve of mine. Luckily for most fans, it didn't do that.
Instead, what wound up upsetting me was how it seemed to contradict the purpose of the story that is One Piece (at least what I think the purpose is). In doing so, it opposes the meaning that many fans find in this absurd, ridiculous, inspiring, heartfelt, heroic tale about a boy made of rubber.
One Piece is an escapist story about a boy named Luffy who inspires every good guy he meets to pursue and achieve their dream. It's also about Luffy beating up every bad guy who punishments are that they cannot fulfill their morally reprehensible dreams.
Because of Ace's premature death, he is the only good guy character in the main timeline who does not get to pursue his dream. And what's extra tragic is that he is also one of the most deserving of seeing his dream fulfilled.
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whereismyhat5678 · 9 months
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Bold of you to assume Stick isn't also black out drunk with them and Brick and Burton have to drag all three home
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Awww….This is funny but also kinda cute ngl-
Also I’d totally see Mr. Stick fighting Peppino (while drunk) over something stupid- which is why Brick had to call his husband 😭 (and of course because he’s also drunk but that’s kind of the main issue-)
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