#i didn't understand what it meant to be cared for until i was 16 & things finally started getting better.

[trumpkinhotboy]

Chronic protective brother syndrome

Pairing: big brother!nick nelson x little sister!reader

Type: Request (thank you so much!!)

Warnings: Mention of fainting, having a chronic illness, but nothing too intense

Word count: 1900

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, twilight wolfpack, chronicles of narnia and harry potter

A/n: honestly… i dont have much to say except that i love writing for requests and that big brother nick makes me weak in the knees. Hope you enjoy angels xxx

*gif is not mine

Summary: The reader has been living with diabetes her whole life. She's grown quite accustomed to it and manages it well with the help of her supportive family. Although sometimes, support can feel a little suffocating...

Through your 14 years of existence, you have grown quite accustomed to life with type 1 diabetes. As you grew up and became more conscious of what it meant to live with a chronic disease, you learned to accept and care for yourself quite well. 

Your mother, Sarah, was a real trooper and never let you down, always carrying you when you felt exhausted and done with your condition, which did happen more often than you care to admit. Luckily, you also had someone else in your corner: your older brother. 

Nick is known to be quite protective. Especially with the people he cares for. However, that aspect of his personality gained a new high when you were born, and your mother explained why you could never do everything just as he did. Of course, you would still be able to do most of them. You would simply need to be a little more careful. 

Sarah remembers very clearly the look in little Nick’s eyes when she explained why you were always sick. You were resting in bed after a substantial flare-up when his eyes welled up with tears. That's when he finally understood that there was something in your own body that would always try to fight and hurt itself. That’s also when he promised himself he would do everything to protect you. Your mum still tells that story with a few tears welling up in her eyes. 

Nick knew you could have a lot of complications from your disease. To avoid them, he always made sure you had everything you needed at all times. You usually didn't mind, seeing how your ADHD sometimes made it a little harder for you to remember to pack your stuff. Plus, the fatigue diabetes often fogged you with did not help in that department. 

The thing is you were now 14 years old, finally starting to make new friends and explore the jungle that is social life in high school. So when your 16-year-old brother comes over, and all your lady friends swoon over him, or worse, when he comes over to baby you, it gets a little irritating. Luckily, Nick was quite stubborn about that stuff and was not about to let you get hurt just because of the image you wanted to project.

That was until you made quite a scene in front of everyone.

You had been feeling particularly irritated and moody that day. So when you saw your brother walk over to you with a backup diabetes kit, which was his creation, you felt anger boil in your blood.

It did not help to hear some nasty year 10 make jokes from a picnic table near your friends and you. "Oh, would you look at that? Diabetes Nelson still needs her big brother to bring her her little drugs. I don't understand how someone like him could be related to her."

It was stupid. It wasn't even a good insult. Plus, the people who kept making comments were not something to be impressed with. Still, you couldn't help the shame from creeping on your cheeks.

So this time, when your big brother came to check on you and offered you your safety pouch, you refused.

"I already have the normal one. I don't need this one."

"I know, but I don't think you've put the new insulin shots in. I brought you the safety one just in case."

The snickers you heard from the people behind had you gritting your teeth. You couldn't understand their exact words, but you knew it wasn't positive. 

"Don't you have anything better to do than watch over me all day?" you hissed. "I'm not stupid Nick."

Your diabetes also made you prone to mood swings, mostly when your blood sugar levels were too high or low. That's why Nick usually did not make a big deal out of these outbursts, but this time felt different. Hurt flashed in his eyes, and briefly, you regretted the words.

"I never said that. I just want to make sure you have everything you need. You know the risks." His tone was soft, his gaze focused on you. He tried as much as he could not to make a big deal out of this, but your reaction had the exact opposite effect. He knew how the fear of being judged could make a person act in such a terrible way. 

"I don't need you to remind me how weak and useless my body is, okay? I'm the one living with diabetes, Nick. Not you." You whispered angrily.

You grabbed your bag and left him planted there without looking back. Nick and you were usually like two peas in a pod, and to leave him there hurt much more than you would care to admit. 

You got back in class, trying to act normal, but after an hour in, you felt queasy and feeble. You had indulged in some sweets some friends offered after your altercation with Nick, brushing off the risk with your ongoing anger. Subtly, you pricked your finger and couldn't help your eyes from growing two sizes when you saw the little numbers your tracker presented. You were in hyperglycemia and urgently needed to get a shot of insulin. Swiftly, you asked to be excused from the class and headed for the bathroom. The walls seemed to shake around you, and your vision kept warping up. Cursing yourself for being this dumb, you opened your bag with shaking hands, searching for your shots.

"Shit."

There was only one thing worse than fighting with Nick, and it was when you realized he had been right. You mumbled under your breath, trying to stay calm and figure out a quick solution because this was becoming urgent, and you needed the care right now. Calling Nick would do no good since he was at Truham anyway. You decided to head back to class to ask for your teacher's help, but once you tried climbing the stairs, a thousand little dots started dancing around. You were able to mutter an 'I feel kinda dizzy' before everything turned black.

You awoke to a commotion. Distorted sounds and everything around you moved too fast to register. Someone was holding your hand while you felt a pinch in your arm. 

"It's okay, it's okay Y/n. You're going to be okay. I'm here."

You knew that voice. You lifted your gaze with an effort and only saw a flash of red hair before darkness swallowed you once more.

This time, when you woke up, everything was silent and peaceful. You were lying in a bed, a hospital bed, with an IV drip set up in your arm. Nick was resting in the chair next to you, his worried eyes set on his phone as he quickly typed.

"Hey," you croaked. 

His head whipped up in surprise when he heard your voice. He immediately dropped his phone to come by your side. His hand flew to your forehead. The coolness of it felt incredibly refreshing as you leaned into the touch.

"Hey, kid," he whispered. He tried putting a smile on his face, but it couldn't hide the worry he was truly feeling.

"So, I'm guessing I fainted? And someone found me? And they panicked ?"

"Panicked is an understatement."

He explained that Imogen found you at the bottom of the stairs. She didn't know whether you had fallen from them or just fainted at the bottom, so she immediately called for help and texted him.

"I ran to Higgs faster than Charlie ever could," he added with a smirk, his joke stealing a chuckle from your chest.

"I'm sorry for causing such a commotion. I should wear a bracelet that says fainting is normal for me so people won't worry."

His gaze hardened at your comment. "Fainting is not normal for you. It's a bad sign, and you know it."

You sheepishly dropped your gaze. Okay, he wasn't ready to make jokes about it yet. Charlie would have laughed, you secretly thought.

"I don't understand why you pulled that crap. I just wanted to help you." 

You lay back in bed with a sigh and covered your eyes with your forearm. You did know Nick only wanted to help, but still. His kind gestures irritated you so much sometimes.

"It's already hard enough to be the sick kid. That was my only thing when I was in middle school. I thought now I could step away from it, that I could be someone else. Be known for other things than my messed up immune system." 

You noticed Nick's expression softened once you uncovered your eyes. 

"And I know you want to help and trust me, I appreciate it. It's just that sometimes it feels like you don't believe in me. Like you don't think I'm capable of doing stuff. Instead of helping me become stronger, you keep worrying me with your horror scenarios."

It was now Nick's turn to look all sheepish and guilty. You might have been right in saying he tended to get a little paranoid when you wanted to try new things. He only thought about protecting you. He never realized the effect it would have on your self-esteem. 

"I'm tired of being afraid. I've looked it up, and there are so many people with diabetes who are doing amazing things. I can stay healthy and still be a badass kid who tries new stuff."

He looked up, his eyes holding so much uncertainty and fear. Though through it all, love was the strongest thing in his gaze. He grabbed your hand once again with a tight smile.

"I hear you, I'm sorry. I never thought it would make you feel like this, or else I wouldn't have done it."

"Nick." You gave him a knowing look.

"Okay, okay. I might have still done it, but only because you're my baby sister, and I want you to be healthy and have a long, long life, okay?"

You nodded while tightening your grip on his hand. 

"I promise I will be less overbearing, and I will support you in whatever new thing you want to try."

"Thanks, Nick, and for school, could you maybe not come and do your big brother number in front of all my friends? I appreciate the gesture, but I'm over dealing with the dumbasses." 

He sighed heavily but still agreed to your request. "About that, just a piece of advice. I've learned that sometimes the thing we are afraid will show our weakness or vulnerability only does when we allow it to. Once you reclaim your power and own it, it all switches around. Anyone who has something to say about it will suddenly disappear, or you won't care what they have to say anymore."

You nodded sheepishly. You honestly didn't care about your diabetes. I mean, it could be a gigantic pain, and you would have to be careful for the rest of your life. But all in all, you were pretty lucky. You had your condition mostly under control when you weren't a sassy dumbass, and you had the best support system someone could wish for. 

"Look at me. You're going to be okay kiddo." Your brother squeezed your hand tighter in a reassuring motion. 

You lifted your head to meet his supportive gaze and smiled in return. Yes, you would be okay.

[moonmeg]

Layout for next comic done, head empty only Breeil scenario once again - this time not in comic form!

TW// body insecurity (negativity), implied eating disorder

"Bree, what's the matter?"

"Look at me!", she freed herself from his arms, "Look at my chest, my arms, my legs, my stomach! How can ye think I'm pretty when I'm not as thin as I used to be?! How can ye love me when I look like this?!"

Neil stared at her. He didn't understand what she meant, where this was coming from. He never gave her reason to doubt his adoration for her - so he thought at least. Breena kept avoiding his eyes and quickly turned her back to him, hiding herself and her body from the man she loved. The thought that he will leave her now that her body is so different tortured her. She didn't want him to leave. Neil was the best thing to happen to her...

"Bree, you are beautiful to me. And I mean that wi' all my heart. A few additional pounds willna change that. Especially not because that's more than natural in yer circumstances."

"My circumstances?", she turned her head in his direction slightly.

"Aye, yer pregnancy. Ye're growing a person inside o' ya, love. Of course yer body is changing."

He slowly closed the gap between them and gently brushed a red curl out of her face. He examined her face and noticed her quivering lip and her still avoiding eyes becoming glassy. It's rare he saw his wife so upset and vulnerable. He knew a pregnancy had its impact on the becoming mother's emotionality but something told him there was more to Breena's feelings.

"I'm just wondering, where ye get the idea from that I only love ye when ye're thin? Did I make ye feel like that?", he traced his thumb down her cheek. His voice calm and soft.

"It's not you."

...

"Was it them?"

She closed her eyes and the longer she thought about "them" the more her brows furrowed above her red-brown lashes. "Them" referred to the people that Breena was raised by. She didn't think they were worth the title of "parents". Parents are loving, they're caring and they'd never cause their child to run away from home with 16 because it's become unbearable to live with them. To Breena those two people she had to live with were but merely her creators. That was also what she referred to them as whenever they still influenced her life... like now.

"Titan...", Neil sighed, knowing that he found the reason behind his wife's behavior. Breena's creators barely were a topic in their conversations or a part of their life but whenever they did come up, it was never in good context. "What did they tell you?"

She glanced at her husband. It wasn't long but Neil was happy she had met his eyes finally even if just for a second. It meant she was willing to open up about it to him and she was building up strength to reopen a part from that chapter of her life that she actually long had closed and desperately wanted to seal and lock away. It was hard for her. He knew that.

Caressing his palms over her arms until he reached her hands and curling his fingers around them, he let her take her time. His thumb carefully ran across her knuckles - back and forth. It was his way of reassuring her. He's here. He's listening. She has all his attention. She's not alone.

Breena squeezed his hand as she took a breath. She hated that she troubled him with her problems of the past. She learned to keep her frustration to herself and in fear of bothering people dear to her never let them out. Communication never worked in her home, why should it work outside of it? Of course, Breena never would've bothered her friends nor is she bothering Neil or her newly found family-in-law with her feelings. But unfortunately old habits break hard.

"Ever since I was a lass, no older than 6, I was told that my appearance is the most important thing I have to offer. If I'm not pretty and a certain weight, I dinna deserve affection or... love. Nobody wants me if I'm not thin. Nobody would think me worthy. If I'm not in the image of my creators, I'll be lonely til my last days. So I...", she paused, taking a shaky breath, "...I always tried to fit in that expectation. Whenever I didna fit it, I was called worthless, ugly and denied food. Whenever I did fit, I was praised... at least one thing I did right."

"Oh, mo gaol...", Neil whispered, "I'm so sorry."

He squeezes her trembling hand tightly. That was the reason behind her eating habits, he finally figured. She barely ate, only small portions if any at all, and his mother and himself were always trying to get her to eat more but without much success. With the pregnancy she had started eating more at last but she always felt bad afterwards and apologized for eating so much and would deny herself food "to make up for it". He had theorized there was a reason to it but he never wanted to push her to talk about it.

"They're so wrong.", he cupped her face and leaned his forehead on hers, "Ye're worthy of love no matter what yer body looks like and no matter what ye weigh. I love you regardless. I always will."

"Ye will?", she hicced.

"Aye. I asked ye to marry me because I dinna want to live a life wi'out ye. Bree, ye are so much more than yer looks. I'm sorry yer creators told you such terrible lies and treated ye so horribly. I only wish we had met sooner so that I could've proven them wrong and given you the love and affection that ye deserve earlier."

Breena sniffed as his thumbs caught her tears. She buried her face in his palm and gave her emotions uncontrolled freedom. Sobbing she threw herself onto her husband's chest, clenching his shirt. Instinctively, Neil wrapped his arms around her back, securing her in that position.

"Neil, I-"

"Shh. There's nothing more for you to say.", he turned his face to press a kiss to her temple. He held her for a while, let her cry, comforted her by brushing through her curls. "I can only imagine how difficult it must've been for ye and how difficult it still is but... if I may, and if ye want to, I will do everything in my power to help ye heal. I'm here."

She pulled away from his chest to look at him. Cracking a smile she was the one to cup his face now. "I am so lucky and thankful to have ye."

"Aye.", he smiled back adoringly, "And I'm afraid ye're stuck wi' me 'until death do us part'."

Breena chuckled at him quoting their vows. She brushed a brown lock behind his ear before she met his golden eyes once again, gazing at her as if she was a deity and the only thing he cared about. She never knew what love really felt like but when Neil was with her, looking at her, wrapping her tightly in his arms, kissing her and smiling at her, she was sure to have found it. And she was willing to allow him to help her actually heal and actually, at last, close the chapter of her past.

"I can live wi' that."

[wishlikes]

I started reading the One Punch Man manga a couple weeks ago. At one point started live blogging it to my sibling. Looking back, the specific screenshots I sent connected in a way that made me have even more feelings. I present: a transcription.

Me — 03/16/2024 10:58 PM caught between feeling Very Normal about this, and being like. yeah. those are the two states Genos exists in

Me — 03/18/2024 11:07 PM my feelings have been grievously injured. Genos realizing that he doesn't want to die and needing to be told that that's a good thing. Look at his face

Me — Yesterday at 4:32 PM this is a scene from an early chapter currently being remembered by the main character in chapter 166 after Something Happened. The only context you get is that I'm Going To Die

Me — Yesterday at 5:34 PM I AM ALIVE BUT I AM UNWELL

So yeah. Something something, Genos can handle himself until he can't, doesn't care about dying until he does. Something something, Saitama always shows up late, but it's never really mattered that much, until it's the only thing that matters, and then, by a miracle he can't even remember, he isn't late at all.

Something something, Genos saw complete self-destruction as a viable and acceptable emergency attack for so long. He attempts it in his introduction. He intends to attempt it again, and then can't bring himself to do so and thinks himself weak for it. He wants to live, and he doesn't understand it, and Saitama (says he) doesn't really understand either when Genos tries to explain. But he tells Genos that his continued survival must mean he's gotten stronger. And then Genos is murdered only minutes later.

What must Genos think? Thanks to Saitama, it didn't happen and no one else remembers it. Thanks to Saitama (refusing to let go of Genos' core), Genos does remember it. He was told that he's strong because he's alive, and then he died. That's not how Saitama meant it, but Genos doesn't know that because they're both shit at words. They value different kinds of strength. No wonder Genos is so concerned with and disappointed in his own physical strength in the following days.

[hretoprvdthepltnx]

would you please write a fic where a young Eddie Munson realizes he's trans ftm? I headcanon him as trans, and a good chunk of the trans Eddie fanfic is smut unfortunately

Boys Will Be Boys

FtM!Eddie Munson

Summary: a short drabble featuring Eddie Munson's experience as a trans guy

Content: brief mentions of gender dysphoria, Uncle Wayne once again being an A++ parent, Eddie Munson is trans, brief discussion of sex related topics and masturbation,

Rating: 16+ for some sexual conversational themes || 3.1k+ w.

Eddie was lucky. He had moved in with Uncle Wayne at a young age, in a place where no one knew him, with a strong support system that allowed him to be exactly who he was. Eddie Munson was and had always been a boy. So what if he didn't have a dick? Uncle Wayne didn't care, he had told Eddie on multiple occasions that getting worked up over the genitals people did or didn't have was weird. Especially if they were kids, like his nephew.

He told him it didn't matter if his body was different, because all bodies are different, and that was okay. Eddie moved to Hawkins as a boy and being there, that is all that he has ever been. Only he and Uncle Wayne knew what was different and his uncle warned him that it was important to keep it that way. "Not everyone is as understanding," Wayne had told him, "People are cruel, Eddie. You know that." And he did.

When he was still really young, Eddie didn't have to worry about much. His body matched the bodies of all the other boys, for the most part, and so he'd always felt safe and like he belonged. It was when puberty started that things got a bit more difficult. Uncle Wayne had been able to find him puberty blockers to help him out with a few problems early on and then had found a way to start him on testosterone later once Eddie started mentioning wanting to try to grow facial hair and deepen his voice like the other boys his age.

By tenth grade, the only way anyone would have been able to tell that Eddie was trans would have been to take him to bed, and it's not like there were many people lining up to have sex with the resident freak. Eddie didn't always mind that though, it kept things simple. No sex meant no one found out about his secret and so it was easier to keep it that way. It was safer.

However, it made being a teenager more difficult sometimes than it might have been if he didn't have to hide or if he had been born with a penis. It was hard to relate to some of his friends sometimes, the other boys, because his experiences weren't always the same. They would talk about things like masturbation or unfortunately timed boners, and he would have to pretend to know what they meant or find a way to avoid the conversation all together.

After a while, Eddie felt that he had gotten pretty good at bullshitting his friends when the time was right, but he was still cautious of slip ups. He was paranoid he would say something that would give him away, it was like being an undercover agent, although arguably more stressful and less cool. There were times that he wished he could be honest with his friends and open up to them about his own experiences as a teenager rather than attempting to mimick theirs.

It wouldn't be until his third attempt at a senior year - when Eddie met and became friends with Steve, Robin, and Nancy - that he would be comfortable enough in himself and those around him to be able to do just that. Having queer friends really helped him come to terms with the validity of his identity and eventually he would feel comfortable enough with himself to tell the other members of his party and band who he really was.

Spoiler alert - they didn't care.

|| masterlist || navigation ||

story by hretoprvdthepltnx©

Eddie Munson copyrighted by the Duffer Brothers©

[lady-ashfade]

Ok so I heard your call for Five prompts…*cracks knuckles* here we go bc I love ur writing!

Prompt Numbers: 3, 5, 8, 11, 13-16, 18, 20, 21, 23, 30, 31, 37-40

With an Aged!up Five x Wanda Powers!reader, and also angst with a happy ending.

(Basically I’m in a “these two people claim to hate/want to kill each other but also always flirt with each other and get jealous/angsty when the other actually tries to date someone” mood)

I hope this makes sense and has decent grammar to it.

It’s 3:34am where I am lol.

Your curse.

Five Hargreaves x female reader.

Notes: Five is always aged up here, also this isn’t really angsty so I apologize. I could do all of the prompt but I did most of them, except 21, 14 and replaced one with 28. Also things get very spicy, it’s been a long time since I’ve wrote something like this so I’m a bit rusty.

Prompts: {3} “i would die for you”, {5} “I need you.”, {8} “you matter to me”, {11} “Stop ignoring me”, {13} “ If I didn't know any better I'd say you have feelings for me”, {15} “What do you see in them that I don’t have”, {16} “I can’t stand to see you with them”, {18} “Your eyes say kiss me, but your mouth says fuck you”, {20} “You’re cute when you’re angry”, {23} “Are you jealous?”, {28} “You’re so full of yourself”, {30} “As soon as you walk into a room my head hurts.”, {31} “Why are you bleeding?”, {37} “You’re to cute not to tease”, {38} “What? I’m just kissing you”, {39} “You’re mine”, {40} “Was that a moan”.

Warnings: Sexual themes, suggested intimacy, jealously. Also bad grammar and poor writing, this sucks but I kinda like it. This is almost smut.

Five didn’t like to dwell on emotions because it wasn’t sometime he had time for or wanted to show. He had a very thick wall up in his mind to keep anything from getting out which is way he was a jerk sometimes.

Five didn’t like to dwell on emotions because it wasn’t sometime he had time for or wanted to show. He had a very thick wall up in his mind to keep anything from getting out which is way he was a jerk sometimes.

But you were something that got through so fast and he hated you for it, at first he didn’t understand it. Everyone time he looked at you he felt funny or the sound of your voice made him feel fuzzy, so he hated when you spoke.

Now he was truly sure how he felt, but this wasn’t a good time to come to terms with it. He was jealous to the point he threw a bottle of rum at the wall in frustration. You had gone out on a date with some guy you had just met.

He cared for you and it scared him so he pushed you away and you seemed to hate him too, but why wouldn’t you? After everything he’s said to you, he couldn’t blame you.

That was until he saw you from across his seat at the bar, soaking wet and had blood tripping down one of your legs. Panic set through him and he immediately ran to you.

“Why are you bleeding?” He sounded genuine but that slightly pissed you off more, thinking he was mocking you.

“Don’t patronize me five. I’m not in the mood.” you pushed passed him and walked towards the stairs. 

“I’m not mocking you. You look horrible.” That made you break even after everything that had happened he just made you break, like he always did.

“For once can you get off my ass and fuck off, you’re always trying to bring me down. So don’t acted like you give a shit about me.” You pushed your finger into his chest.

“Whether or not you and me like it…I care for you.” he pushed your fingers aside. He really meant it as he stared back into your eyes hoping you would believe him.

“Bullshit.” the words came out of you mouth like venom as you turned around and walked away from him.

He watched you leave with a broken heart, he knew he wasn’t going to get to talk with you today. But he could make it up with you, get you to see how much he truly cared for you.

Until two days later you hadn’t even spared a glance at him, leaving the room every time he walk into the room. Not to mention you acted like he wasn’t even there.

He found out from Victor that you tripped on your way home, the guy you went on a date was actually nice but to quote your words “He wasn’t my type” so you walked home in the rain.

“Get them, Steve.” You shouted at the tv in your room, silk gown on while you ate chinese food.

“Stop ignoring me.” You jumped as the man you’ve been ignoring just blinked into your room.

“Five, what the hell? I could have been naked.” He groaned as he watched you set down your takeout.

“Then stop ignoring me.” His clinched his hands into fists and you put your hands up to your forehead.

“As soon as you walk into a room my head hurts.” You couldn’t take it anymore, these past couple of days just took it out of you.

You hated being alone, you didn’t feel loved…The man you loved didn’t like you back and hated you. So you tried to cover it up with someone else for years but you just couldn’t get him out of you head.

Five Hargreaves was like a curse.

Your curse.

“Please just leave me alone, I can’t take it anymore.” You turned away from him and swing your feet off the bed and stare down at the floor.

“No, you’re going to listen because I can’t take it anymore.” he raised his voice and he was clearly wasn’t going to let it go. So you just sat there quite and waited for him to speak.

“Tonight you looked great, amazingly actually and I…” he couldn’t finish just by watching you throw your head back in a laugh.

“Oh, what. Are you jealous.” You were pissed and hurt. That’s why you found it funny.

“Goddamnit, y/n. I need you.” He yelled and before you could reacted he was right in front of you.

“What do you see in them that I don't have? I’ve watched you go on so many dates, one right after the other and I can't stand to see you with them.” You looked up at him, your cheeks heating up. Was he confessing to you? It felt like some sort of game to you.

“Five, don’t do that.” You stood up and walked past him going to the bottles of wine on the dresser.

“Don’t walk away from me, y/n. I know you feel it too, you have too.” That made you chuckle again, of course you did but he had no right to bring it up.

“After everything you’ve said to me you want me to just forget about it?” You put the cup to your lips and looking out at the small view you got through the blinds.

“You matter to me.” He took ahold of your waist and spun you around, now he was inches away and still gripping ahold of your waist.

“You have a have a funny way of showing it, asshole.” he could tell by the smell of your breath you had been drinking before he walked in.

“Tell me, why haven’t you slapped me?” He asked while pulling you closer. “Or run away from my touch. If I didn't know any better I'd say you have feelings for me.” Your breath hitched as he leaned a bit closer.

“Eat shit, asshole. You’re so full of yourself.” Rolling your eyes you set the drink down. It was the only thing you could do because you still wanted to be in his arms.

“Your eyes scream kiss me, but your mouth says fuck you.” He smirked as he felt you tension up and your breath get heavier as he got closer.

“Five..” he was painfully close and you couldn’t control yourself. You didn’t want him to just hurt you again but god. He just felt so right.

“You’re too cute not to tease.” He went closer and you closed your eyes to kiss him but his lips never came. Opening your eyes to find him have a very cocky smirk and it broke your heart and pissed you off.

“Fuck you.” You broke free and your eyes grew red with emotions. “You can’t do that.” He still smirked as he watched you walk away.

You went to open the door but soon you where spun around again and pinned against it.

“Don’t be like that love. You’re cute when you’re angry, so I had to.” He crashed his lips onto yours passionately, and rough.

He still held your waist against the door as kissed you. He couldn’t control himself, all that sexual tension and feelings just made him feral, not that you were complaining.

“You’re mine.” He growled and he sounded like he was angry and the pulling of your bottom lip between his teeth made you know he was.

You had no option but you agree with him, he was definitely possessive. Five smirked and every sparkle in his eyes darkened because was fueled by your submission.

He let your lip go and moved down into your neck, you pushed your body forward and his nails digs into your skin. Five started to lay kisses on your neck and you couldn’t hold back you’re voice any more because everything he was going made you go weak.

“Was that a moan?” You could feel his smirk and the proud and amusement in his voice. Feeling embarrassed, heat shot through your whole body. Being as powerful as you are and he still could just do this to you with ease.

“What? I’m just kissing you.” He whispered close to your ear making you shiver as his hot breath hit your skin.

You gripped onto his suit jacket and pulled it off of him, decided to take some charge back you pushed off the wall and made him walk back onto the bed.

“What are you doing?” He asked in amazement watching you try and take charge, it was adorable so he’ll let you have your fun.

You smirked and pushed him onto the bed and he fell back. You used your hands and made symbols with your magic and shot then at the wall.

“Now we can’t get a noise complaint.” You chuckled and stood before him in all glory, having him look up at you made you feel powerful.

“I would die for you.” He found his way up your legs and back to your waist.

“Five, you matter to me. So you’re not getting a chance to.” You put both of your legs on each side of him as he pulled you into his lap.

“I forgot to mention..” he trailed off and you felt him wrap his arms all the way around you then your weight shifted. Now you were on your back and him above you.

“I’m always on top” And with that his lips were back onto yours.

Help- I almost went to far- you have ideas how much I had to hold back. For so reasons my write gets shitty at times so if you don’t like is I really apologize because I tried.

[verdemoun]

jumping ahead in the timeswap au because i am the captain personally i headcanon jack not making it to 20. i think life had well and truly defeated him and he was too tired to keep running, and he ended up hanged for ross's murder.

side tangent a) imagine the emotional devastation the VDLs in modern era would feel reading that. there's a grainy photo/sketch and they can almost tell what jack looks like, how much he looks like john, how old he already looks at 19, and then there's the noose sitting on his shoulders waiting for the trapdoor to be pulled. the article portrays ross as a poor elderly man of honor killed by jack marston, outlaw, a dangerous sociopath

side tangent b) john and jack being reunited. john really struggling not to be angry because he wanted/expected so much better for jack: knowing he was never an ideal father (or even a good father) but how much he didn't want his son to be like him, how clear he had been to never become an outlaw. then, the grief. it's only been 3 years but being able to see how much those three years have changed jack, physically and mentally, just by the way he carries himself and that dead, destroyed look in his eyes. jack struggling not to be angry for a lot of the same reasons because at 16 he was left taking care of abigail as heartbreak and illness killed her, and a ranch they could barely take care of together. jack realising his mom, dad and little sister got to play happy family in current day without him.

well now that that's out of the way: dues-ex-isaac morgan

isaac morgan deciding jack marston is his personal responsibility. sure, the whole recipe of staying in a house for a few weeks slowly learning about the current day slowly works for most VDLs, but isaac understands that not only is jack 19 (a teenager) but the culture shock isn't quite as severe going from 1914 as it was 1899.

isaac throws rocks at the window until jack sneaks out his first night in modern day. he forces a helmet onto his head and gives a vague warning that 'it's going to be faster than a horse', before setting off at very illegal speeds on his motorbike

jack immediately loves it. it's very much what he needed: the adrenaline, feeling like he's rebelling, seeing the chrome and crowds of city as a blur become more and more recognizable in outdated suburbs until they're pushing 100mph on the highway

isaac strategically takes him out to the desert, because the desert really hasn't changed that much, and pulls out a bottle of whiskey. they lay down and trauma-bond about how fucked their lives have been (isaac, who experienced the timewarp like a child moving house and had to teach things to his 19th century mother, jack, who grew up in the chaos of the VDL gang with his mother as the only constant: deadbeat dads taken to the metaphorical extreme).

'there's only two things you really need to know: you can't buy alcohol until you're 21 and cigarettes are actually really bad for you' 'cigarettes are BAD??????'

isaac introduces him to cliche teenage emo music through a dodgy bluetooth speaker. jack marston actually listens to music for the first time

arthur getting a frantic phone call from john saying jack snuck out

charles offering to help track them down, because they immediately know isaac is involved

charles and arthur finding a drunk isaac and jack air guitaring to mcr in the middle of the desert

isaac and jack are instant best friends. instead of the coddling most of the gang do when something is new and initially intimidating, isaac laughs at him and it's honestly more comforting. like yeah, traffic lights take a hot second, but jack does feel dumb for not realising that the changing lights and loud beeping meant it was time to walk/run.

isaac literally doesn't hold his hand unless he has to, meanwhile jack has had months of living alone as an outlaw in 1914. they balance each other out in the worst ways. isaac will say they shouldn't walk through a dark alley and jack is like pfft if someone tries to mug us i can take them

their hangouts go from jack bookworm marston helping isaac study at college to isaac being the one calling his dad because 'heeey we might be in jail' in 3 hours. all parental figures involved are going grey with stress

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling Stuff

Hi Yearling Besties!

I have a few asks sitting in my inbox right now that I'm stalling on replying to. I usually reply to things that aren't for stories as soon as I have a spare minute but there are a lot with spoilers, so I'm going to leave all Yearling-related asks in my inbox (spoilers or otherwise) until Monday. Thank you for being patient with me!

On that note, there is something spoiler related below the cut. I've seen some questions about one big thing from Chapter 22 and I thought I'd lay some of it out!

If you're jumping away for now, thank you for reading and for being here. For everyone else, see you on the other side. Love you!

The big reveal in chapter 22 is what I've mentioned building toward in the past. Here's the breadcrumbs, for those who might want to revisit things!

Chapter 4: When Bambi thinks of how Joel might be tied to Ellie, she notes that they don't look alike but that they could be like and then stops herself. That was about herself and Savvy, less about specific appearance and more that they were family without being blood.

Chapter 6: Joel thanks Bambi for teaching Ellie how to dance. Bambi looks distant for a moment because she's thinking about Savvy.

Chapter 7: Bambi knows how to help William's teething because she helped Savvy through hers.

Chapter 8: When Bambi remembers Marisa and begging her to stay, she asks her to stay "for us." She didn't mean for her and Marisa, she meant for her and Savvy. She's also specifically grateful for another "adult" not another person when Marisa shows up. She had another person in Savvy.

Chapter 9: The dream Bambi has is the dream version of the memory of teaching Savvy how to shoot. They have the same conversation, almost word for word, in chapter 22. Bambi looks for her at the former raider encampment they find at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 10: Bambi says Ellie would understand if she's a parent. She's speaking from experience. The trip to her former home was to see if - maybe - Savvy had ever come back and left some sign that she was there.

Chapter 11: Bambi says she can't replace what she lost because she lost her child. Her interactions with Ellie in this chapter are particularly maternal.

Chapter 12: You see/hear Savvy's name for the first time. When Bambi remembers back to the night she first encountered Ben, she gives Ruger and Gattling the command Savvy. That's their command to protect her.

Chapter 14: At the start of the chapter, she was buying time for Savvy to escape.

Chapter 16: We meet Savvy's dad but no direct hints to Savvy.

Chapter 17: Bambi recognizes that her and Joel have suffered the same losses - their children.

Chapter 18: Bambi talks to Ellie like a parent and tells her she wouldn't fully understand until she's a parent. She's speaking from experience.

Chapter 19: Mark leaves because he's going to take care of Laurel in the last few months of her pregnancy and take care of his child when she's born. She also thinks this about Ellie: "She wasn’t your daughter but it felt like she could be. You’d protect her like your daughter." She was thinking about protecting her like she tried to do for Savvy. She tells Joel she's never "loved someone I haven't lost," that includes Savvy. She distinctly empathizes with Joel when he talks about he pain he was in after Sarah died.

Chapter 21: Bambi's sadness at lost time on Christmas morning was because she never had this with Savvy and the things that could be better or different was Savvy still being with her because she'd been able to keep her safe in a place like Jackson. Bambi looks for Savvy again when she sees the small footprint in the snow.

That's most of them, I think. I may have forgotten some, honestly! Some are definitely bigger than others. I was surprised no one questioned the teething stuff or when Bambi said she liked having another adult around with Marisa. But it's been very fun weaving a character that's unknown to the audience into this story! I hope you enjoy it now that you're in on it, too ❤️

Thank you so much for reading this whole thing!

[foxofsunholt]

What were the ROs like when they were kids? Asking for a fri- for science. A scientist friend.

Who is this scientist friend? Tell them I love this question. LOVE thinking about them as kids because it's so much of what shaped them into who they are now.

Now, many of the characters have had rough childhoods...and by many I mean all of them. AND THIS GOT LONG SO UNDER THE CUT

Adelaide (born and raised in Lyon, Sunholt)

Quiet, shy, and obedient; Adelaide was a very sad and somber child. She rarely smiled and even more rarely ever said anything more than a "yes" or "no" ("No" was rarely an acceptable thing for a princess to say, so it was mostly "yes"). Learning quickly that her excited outbursts were either ignored or met with disdain, she kept herself silent and pristine. Spending the majority of her time by herself, Adelaide learned to have a rich interior life; never once daring to reveal a more honest personality, lest people dislike her. When she felt safe (IE with Camille and Mars) she was cheerful, talkative, and curious. Her time alone allowed her to grow into an introspective and observant adult, and her childhood trauma gave her a strong sense of empathy. Adelaide attributes a lot of her better qualities to the people she admires: she learned her stubborn style of care from Camille and her gentle sense of compassion from Mars. Still, she has learned that there is nothing inside her worthy of praise; nothing that is all hers and only hers.

Camille (born and raised in Lyon, Sunholt)

Steadfast and stubborn, Camille as a child had a strong sense of justice and worked hard to keep the people she cared about safe. Once energetic and curious, Camille explored the castle as if she owned it, happily getting herself into trouble. She often snuck into Adelaide's room so the two could play, and broke Mars out of his training for the same reason. No one could say she wasn't a child who cared; she was well-liked as a kid. She always had a rebellious streak, and rarely ever did as she was told. Despite losing her parents at a young age--even then--she knew better than to let true emotion show. When she left Sunholt to study magic, she returned more like the woman you see her as now; cold, sarcastic, and bitter. Though pieces of the girl who cared for her friends so deeply she could rend rules apart for them remained, most of it was covered with the skin of a woman who actively sought to distance people from her. 20 friends turned into 10 who turned into just the 2 that were too attached to leave her.

Mars (born and raised in Lyon, Sunholt)

The child of the knight commander, Mars was not the son his father ever wanted. Sensitive, cowardly, and compassionate, Mars was unlike his father and showed little promise in becoming the knight he was meant to be. His days were spent training fiercely as his father hoped that if he could not act like a knight, he would at least be skilled like one. Mars was, to his credit, a hard worker. Mars cried often as a child, mostly over inconsequential events (oh no! someone stepped on a caterpillar! wahhhh). Even as a child, Mars carried a guilt complex and was often anxious and socially awkward. He always had a love and respect for life, though he didn't understand what the role of a knight entailed until he went into his first battle at 16. As a child, he idealized and romanticized fictional warrior symbols, a trap he does not fall into anymore. As the truth of his duty began to settle into his mind, the sensitive child steeled over to become the stoic knight. Mars hasn't cried in years now; he's barely sure he can.

Sidney (born and raised in Lion's Port, Sunholt)

An angry, aggressive, and paranoid child, Sid was often getting into fights he probably should have avoided. He didn't always win, in fact, he lost more. Always though, no matter what state he was in, he got up again and kept going. His childhood wasn't a story of survival, it was spite. Discarded by his parents, he took care of his sister and cursed the world that cast them out. In private, he was kind and quiet. He dreamed of better things but knew better than to hope for them. He had little reason to smile and rarely did so. It wasn't until a botched attempt to rob an old man that he learned what kindness could afford him. When the old man's generosity offered him a place on his fishing crew, he learned quickly how to work with people and how to make friends. Since then, he's never looked back at the kid he used to be. Except, you can still see it in the way he punches; like he doesn't care what happens to him or the person under him.

Yoon (born and raised in Fukirk, Craydor)

Despite his cheerful, friendly, and determined personality, Yoon was not popular in his village filled with humans. In the kingdom that saw the worst of The Famine of the South, and thusly a healthy fear of Fey and what they could do. It didn't help that his mother's infidelity was common knowledge; Yoon was considered a bastard in more ways than one. Still, he kept his head up and maintained a friendly smile on his lips. He was a nosy child, full to the brim with curiosity, and never once minded having to do some hard labor. With his natural charisma, he was able to win the hearts of a few people in his village, who encouraged him and his mother to move on to a friendlier place. The trip didn't work out as planned and without his mother's positive influence, Yoon's genuineness withered away. It'll be hard to ever get him to speak an honest word now, but once upon a time, it was the only kind of words he spoke.

Faith (born in Zarza, Noor later was moved to Coalfell, Noor)

There once was a shy orphan who possessed the uncanny ability to inspire hope into the hopeless. She herself was an optimistic young girl. When they took her away, to the cries of the children who had come to see her as a big sister, there was nothing but a smile on her face and a promise that all would be okay. The hopeful girl quickly transformed into one that was scared and quiet and obedient because she knew what happened to her if she wasn't. Then she became one that was angry. Then one with blood on her hands. Then one who has never stopped running.

Faith doesn't know anything about that little girl, not in any way she will ever admit to. She's always been flirty and confident and unafraid. That thing you just read above? That's just some silly story. It doesn't exist. Don't bother asking her about it.

If you run far enough away from yourself, you can forget that you exist at all. Then you can become something better, something cleaner. Why would you want to stay shy and naïve? Why would you want to remain sensitive and hope for love that never comes? How trite, anyway. Faith has always been the way that she is.

The Seventh RO (born and raised in ??????)

Shy, awkward, and easily frightened, once upon a time. So it's said, at least. What becomes of a child gifted the duty they will be bound to for the rest of their life? What is a child without an identity? These questions have no answer. There never was a child; not here, not once, not long ago, not in the killer who seeks you. There was no child. There could be no child.

[madlad-sadgal]

Goldenheart AU Pt. 3

I FOUND MY NOTEBOOK!

If you couldn't tell, I have found my notes about this AU and am finally able to make more parts (I could've just made new notes but for some reason my mind stopped everytime I tried to do that, so yeah). This part is gonna be about the band members' (Bal, Nimona and Meredith) backstories.

I highly suggest you check out these first if you wanna understand this, cuz it might not make sense: [Part 1] [Part 2]

(Edit: I'm an idiot and forgot to put the links when I first posted it)

Part 1 is just the base of the AU, and part 2 explains the Director/Livia's (the name I gave her) reasons to not want Goldenheart to be a thing.

Also, feel free to put any idea you might want to add on in the comments or the tags! I tend to look at them and take them in consideration. I don't tag you (some people don't want to be tagged), but if you want to be credited, just message me and I'll tag you if I use your idea!

Anyways, Enjoy!

Ballister Boldheart

Although he didn't live on the streets, Ballister wasn't part of a very fortunate family when it came to money.

Education was something his family struggled to provide to him, and food was thoroughly enjoyed as one never knew if the next meal would be provided or not

His parents worked in a quite successful company but were paid barely enough to survive despite the amount of work they did

Ballister also worked small jobs, such as helping the park keeper clean up garbage, helping the mailman deliver his letters and packages, and so on

When he properly met Ambrosius was when he was cleaning up the park

I say properly because everyone knows Ambrosius Goldenloin, future heir to the Goldenloin company, so when he walked up to a little boy with long dirty hair and worn down clothes, it was pretty safe to say he was wary of him at first

Slowly but surely, after they met up more and more, Ballister started to warm up to him until they became great friends

Ambrosius had tried many times to give money to his family or to buy him something, but Ballister always refused because 1) He wanted to prove he could help on his own, not thanks to some charity money, and 2) He really didn't need the rest of Ambrosius' friends to start rumors about how he was using him for money (It was pretty clear they didn't like him, mainly Todd Sureblade, the Sureblade's being long friends of the Goldenloins)

At some point in time, when they were about 9-10, Ambrosius had to leave cities because of something and the two boys wouldn't be able to talk anymore, so he left with heart wrenching goodbyes

After that, everything was basically shit

With Ambrosius no longer around, some of his old friends who had stayed behind picked on him (hiding the stuff he needed to work, throwing random objects at him when he was in the park, etc.)

His father succumbed to an illness he had been suffering from for a while which sent his mother spiraling into a depression and turning to drinks. She didn't abuse him, but behind her curtain of sadness, she basically forgot about him and it was up to Ballister to provide food and take care of the both of them

It didn't take long for child protection services to take note of this and, at 16, Ballister was placed in a foster home while his mother went to therapy and rehab

It was in the foster home that Ballister met Nimona (backstory later)

Nimona was younger than him by around ten years, a little six year old kid who looked harmless until you realized just how much chaos she could cause

Still, he enjoyed Nimona's company and his foster parents could tell, so they let the two kids be. It was a struggle to stop Nimona from causing chaos everytime they went to the market, but it was worth it if it meant they'd stay up until late into the night arguing about whether freestyle jazz was good or not, if pineapple belonged on pizza or not and what animals would be the best to have if you were running away from the police

Back to that last point, music (except freestyle jazz) was something that the two enjoyed greatly. Nimona enjoyed the drums, always getting a boost out of watching others go crazy on them. Ballister preferred bass (it may or may not be because he remembered Ambrosius had mentioned it being his favourite instrument once and he was desperately holding on to his old friend)

When Nimona turned 7, their parents' rights were terminated and Vivian and William (their foster parents) adopted them, and he was also adopted not long after because his mother's rights had been terminated as well, so now they were an actual little family

Ballister recieved a bass set on his seventeenth birthday, and Nimona received a drum set about three years later on her tenth birthday. By then, Ballister had gotten a lot better with handling and playing the bass and helped Nimona a little with her drums

When they were respectively 22 and 12, money became thin in their household and, having already been through it, Ballaiter didn't want to go through it again, so he decided he was gonna find a way to help his parents, except this time he knew little jobs at the park or helping the mailman wouldn't cut it

They knew they were talented and they could put their talents to good use, and the idea to create a band was somehow thrown into conversations

Only problem is, Bal is pretty good in technology, but he can't work backstage and on the bass at the same time, they'd need at least a third member

Enter Meredith Blitzmeyer

So I'm gonna stop this here because it's already pretty long, I'm exhausted and I'm pretty sure you can tell I got tired towards the end of this, but oh well.

Nimona's backstory's next.

And again, please add on to this with your ideas if you have any, I like hearing what you guys think.

[floridamanmike]

Ninjago/ATLA AU bc there's not enough of those.

Lloyd is the avatar and the Fire Prince and this boi is going thru it. He begins Fire Bending Training very young so by 10 years old he's pretty good but has not mastered it. When he was 11 he accidentally waterbent while feeding the turtleducks with Wu. Wu of course was like 'well shit' and helped Lloyd understand what it meant and also kept it a secret bc Garmadon would either get his son to help him take over the world or if he couldn't he'd probably just imprison him (to make sure he's not reincarnated.) He does actually care for his son but he cares about power just a bit more. When Lloyd turned 14, he and Wu left to travel the world and find teachers for Lloyd so that he could defeat Garmadon. They left at night undetected and now are being hunted down by the Fire Nation. Wu for 'kidnapping' and Lloyd to be brought back to the palace.

Fire Lord Garmadon. After taking the throne he decided he wanted to take over the world and started the war. :|

Wu. This mans never helped out in the war because he didn't agree with it at all. He hung out in the palace doing whatever it is the fire lord's brother does and helping raise Lloyd. When Lloyd was like 2 he left on a 'spiritual journey' for about a year- he just kinda wandered around the world.

Firebender Jay but he only uses lightening bc he went a little backwards in his self taught learning adventures. He accidentally figured out he can control lightening before fire. Upon trying to firebend he either can't even produce a spark or he basically just combustion bends but really badly and it explodes in his face. He doesn't keep trying bc he doesn't really care. Lightening is cool af dude who needs fire. Grew up in the middle of nowhere in the Fire Nation at Ed and Edna's Swap Shop. (Basically a junk yard.) Ed and Edna are nonbenders. (lmao just imagine you own a swap shop and someone just leaves a whole ass baby and takes a lamp or something while ur sleeping) Wu and Lloyd met Jay not long after they left the palace. They were taking back roads and less populated areas to remain unfound when they stumbled upon the Swap Shop. They figured, 'hey we should get less nice things because rich people are very noticeable actually.' Jay who is 16 was like 'mom and dad can I please join these travelers who are actually the fire prince/avatar and his uncle (jay saw a wanted poster) because a- the avatar needs to learn to control lightning bc it would be useful, and b- I want to travel please please please' and thus Lloyd and Wu gained their first moron.

Non-bender Misako. She left to find the avatar when Lloyd was still a baby- not knowing the avatar is her fucking son - bc she wants to stop FL Garmadon and figured committing treason wouldn't be the way to go about it. She wanted to take Lloyd but Garmadon wouldn't let her.

Cole (17) is an earthbender. He wanders the earth kingdom climbing mountains and shit after running away from home. His dad is a performer in Ba Sing Se. After Lilly died, Lou just threw himself into it, ignoring everything else and forcing Cole into dance lessons more often. He didn't want Cole using his bending/fighting because he relates it to Lilly's death. (Instead of resting and receiving treatment for her illness she continued fighting in the army until she got too sick to continue.) Wu meets Lilly while he's off doing his soul searching. Later when he's trying to find teachers for Lloyd, he searches for her, and they come across Cole instead. Cole had been taught by badgermoles after he ran away, and also earned cash by occasionally joining fighting rings in random towns and is a skilled earthbender so he joins to teach Lloyd and beat tf out of the fire lord.

Firebender Kai (16) and Waterbender Nya (14). Kai is a blacksmith and they live in an Earth Kingdom colony. He figured out he's a firebender when he was 12. Nya still hasn't figured out she's a waterbender. They don't know their parents were benders bc they died when Kai and Nya were both pretty young. (FALSE they were arrested bc mixed relationships were illegal in the fire nation. Kai and Nya don't know this bc from their pov their parents just kinda didn't come home one day.) Maya went with the warriors as a healer when they left the Southern Water Tribe. She and one of the men had stayed behind in a nearby earth Kingdom town bc he was wounded badly. She met Ray while he was making blacksmith deliveries. Wu finds Kai and Nya in the village when he's looking to repair Lloyd's sword. He learns of Kai's hatred of the war, and Nya's desire to Do Something and they end up joining the crew. Lloyd and Kai train together since Kai hasn't really had any proper training, and Lloyd is still learning firebending.

Zane (18) is a waterbender from the Northern Water Tribe. His fighting style is like 97% ice, 3% water. Wu and the gang travel to the NWT to find a waterbending teacher. (On the way Nya gets pissed at some fire nation soldier and accidentally freezes him - learns she's a waterbender) When they arrive, Lloyd starts his training under the prev. Master of Ice (do we ever learn his name??) but he won't teach Nya - very Pakku of him - She gets pissed off and Zane is like 'Master why not teach her? She clearly possesses the ability and desire to learn? To which Ice is like fuk that shes a girl. Anyway Zane agrees to teach Nya since he's pretty much a bending master already and Lloyd is like well I'd rather learn from a guy who's not a prick, too. Ice gets mad that Zane is teaching Nya and Zane is like well if she can't learn in the NWT perhaps we should leave so that she isn't in the NWT and then she can learn. Thus Zane has joined the group.

[teenandbeyond]

Heya! I hope you dont mind a dragon ball request (if you are tired of this i understand and you can delete the ask, its ok!!)

If you could, would you write an x reader for android 16 and/or yamcha with s/o that has separation anxiety/fear of abandonment? They are very rare characters and i love the so SO much, but no one writes for them :<

Yamcha x Anxious. Reader

I've never written Yamcha before, did some research too since I'm rusty on his character. Edit: Headcanon style and short bc today was rough.

Want more from me? Check out Masterlist 2!

☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆

⚾Don't Go⚾

Warning(s): None

You really love your boyfriend Yamcha, but you don't take being away from him very well.

✨✨✨✨✨✨

Honestly, when you met Yamcha your first impression was that he was kind of ditzy.

He would hit on you but wasn't as smooth as he thought he was.

You didn't really give him the time of day at first because you didn't get close to people, they always let you down and left.

Until he said something that stuck a cord with you.

"You know I'm never giving up on you, right?"

That was the first time you ever heard those words.

"Fine, I'll bite. You said something about a date?"

One date turned to two, two became four, and then you found yourself with a crush.

Which scared you.

But Yamcha assured you, he wouldn't leave you.

He took care of you in the best way he could, with affection, giving you surprises, making you laugh.

"I know I don't have much money but...I still want to make you happy anyway!"

You could care less that he didn't have much, you gave up on materialistic things long ago, they meant nothing to you over love.

You got to learn and understand each other.

He gained maturity by being with you.

He became a new man, you made him want to be better.

He's never been closer to anyone than he's been to you.

But one day you woke up and he wasn't there, no note like he'd do sometimes or anything.

Cue you beginning to panic.

Where did he go?

Did he get tired of you?

He left you, didn't he?

You didn't blame him. Everyone got tired of you, put you second, and left when they no longer had a use.

Your eyes watered, blurring your vision and you let them fall.

You never should've let him in.

You never should've trusted when he'd say he'd never leave you.

No one stayed.

You curled in on yourself.

"But...I don't want him to go."

You wanted him to be the one who stayed.

"[Name]?"

Now you were hearing him, way to make things worse.

"[Name]? Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

He stood in front of you, brows furrowed in concern.

You cried even harder, hugging his waist to cry into his stomach.

"Aww, baby. Shh. What happened? You want to tell me about it?" he chuckled, "I'm not the best at advice, but I'll listen."

"I thought you left me!"

Embarrassed, he explained he'd been rushing to get you a gift for your anniversary, and forgot to write a note.

"I told you I'd never leave you, babe, I meant that."

He...didn't leave you.

He's right, he'd never do that.

"You're not tired of me?"

"No! Not at all!"

He wasn't tired of you.

It's fine that you let him in.

He hasn't destroyed your fortress only to leave the door by its hinges on his way out.

"You know how much I love you, right?"

You nod, kissing his stomach through his shirt, "I love you, too."

He blushed at your gaze, "D-Don't look at me like that, that look means trouble!"

Trouble indeed.

[nekooru]

₊ ☾⋆ angst dialogue prompts ⋆⁺₊⋆

a list of prompts i use to inspire my writing. i hope they're helpful for you !

more prompt lists: x

˙⋆⁺₊⋆.

1. "you're allowed to fall apart sometimes, you know."

2. "what's the point in trying when i know i'll never be enough?"

3. "i wish your love wasn't conditional."

4. "when did things fall apart? i never noticed until it was done." / "that's exactly why things fell apart."

5. "you were my best friend. i wish i had been yours, too."

6. "i wasn't enough for you." / "no, you were too much."

7. "i thought i could learn to like it this way. i'm sorry i dragged this out."

8. "it's tiring, missing you when you're right here."

9. "you seemed to like me best when i was lying."

10. "don't pretend you missed me. i'm not as stupid as you clearly think i am."

11. "why are you drinking so much? what did you do?"

12. "please tell me i'm wrong. tell me i'm jumping to conclusions— that i'm misunderstanding. please, just say it..." / "..."

13. "you really love her, and she doesn't love you back...how ironic."

14. "you left the most bitter taste in my mouth. how could you bring it all up again when i'm trying to move on?"

15. "i fucked up. god, i fucked up."

16. "so that's it? we're just— over?"

17. "i wish i'd never met you. i wish this was a lesson i never had to learn."

18. "you're fucking insane."

19. "am i the reason you cry every night? be honest."

20. "well, how did you expect this to turn out? it's not my fault you've been in denial."

21. "i don't understand how you sleep at night, so blissfully uncaring of the pain you wreak."

22. "will you miss me at all?" / "very much so, unfortunately."

23. "are we doing the right thing? is there no other option?"

24. "i know when it's good, it's really good— but i don't think i can handle the lows anymore."

25. "when did you want to hurt me again? today? tomorrow? you know, so i can note it in my schedule."

26. "do you fantasize about a life without me?"

27. "you're not the same person i married." / "well, people change. you didn't get the memo?"

28. "i wish i could forget your phone number. and your face. and everything we ever did together."

29. "let's not get irrational here. we're going to talk sensibly, and take it outside— so i can punch you without breaking anything."

30. "you thought i cared for you? why? i made the opposite excruciatingly obvious."

31. "god, why do you have so much blood? i can put it back— don't cry, i can fix it. just don't leave me, please."

32. "you're so dramatic. is this really necessary?"

33. "i'll be better next time, i promise." / "next time? no. i won't be here to put the pieces of your life back together next time."

34. "i don't know how to ask for help."

35. "when was the last time you told me that you loved me?" / "..." / "hah...you can't remember, can you?"

36. "it's okay if you need time to heal. i'll still be here, waiting, for as long as it takes."

37. "i can't keep going when i'm the only one putting effort in. i'm done begging for what i deserve."

38. "i can't lose you. i won't lose you." / "what? after everything? you've already lost me."

39. "you left without saying goodbye. i finally moved on, and you expect me to let you pop back in just like that? no."

40. "i always said i'd die for you." / "idiot...i didn't believe you until now."

41. "i can't believe i thought you meant what you said."

42. "for what it's worth, i'll never give up on us."

43. "you keep going radio silent on me, and i can't handle that any more. wondering if you're dead in a ditch? or cheating on me? i don't deserve that."

44. "you are not your past, so stop acting like you are. that's not an excuse to keep hurting me and everyone around you."

45. "how many broken promises are we at now? you know, i'm starting to think you're doing it on purpose. is my face that pretty when i cry?"

46. "don't give me that look. no, what did you really expect?"

47. "he/she/they showed me more love than you ever did. isn't that sad? it makes me sad."

48. "oh, i see where it went wrong. you're a little confused, but you're almost there— you're supposed to break up with me, then fuck other people."

49. "don't even try to kiss me. get the fuck off me."

50. "don't worry, it's not my blood."

51. "i was stupid to think you would change for me. to think i was good enough to change for."

52. "quit crying. you're the one who hurt me, why are you making it about yourself?"

53. "no, i'm not just going to leave you here."

54. "i can't bear when you look at me like that. like i'm something from hell."

55. please— please, just...get out."

˙⋆⁺₊⋆.

☾. please like/reblog if this post was helpful !

[univvrse]

the coven (chapter 16)

reader x bakugou x shinsou x kaminari x kirishima

Coven- a formation of at least three or more vampires

He told you they were dangerous- why didn't you believe him?

previous parts can be found on my masterlist

on my ao3 if you'd prefer

1k words

The realization hit you before the searing pain did- pain like you’ve never felt in your short lifetime. A throbbing pain in your neck- where he’d bit you- a pain that vibrated through you like knives stabbing at every feasible part of your body. Shit. He’d bit you- a vampire just fucking bit you.

No no no.

Your train of thought was mostly interrupted by the sea of cold hands grabbing you- the others had clearly stopped fucking to see to you. This was bad. There still was a pulsing in your neck- well it started at your neck. The pain covered you like a thick heavy blanket- searing agony on every nerve in your body. Your heartbeat loudly in your chest- growing dimmer and dimmer every second. Quiet voices came from the men around you- clearly trying to get your attention; you couldn’t understand what they were saying, as if they were talking in a foreign tongue. The world you knew was disappearing second by second- you could barely breathe, you lungs burnt like you had smoked two packs a day for a decade. You felt sick- like you could throw up any second. You dry heaved- still trying to pull air into your dying lungs. You were dying- the realisation hit you like a bullet, there was no way you could survive this surely your body would give out. Shit; you were going to die here in this old house surrounded by cold-blooded vampires who would certainly drain your blood the second you saw the light.

But yet, all you could do was stare at the ceiling above you as the human world you had become accustomed to slowly but surely faded to black.

You had no idea of the state of panic you had sent everybody into. Katsuki practically shook you- yet you wouldn’t wake up- passing out from the sheer pain and shock of a vampire bite.

“Fuck- Ei I fucking killed her.” Bakugou practically shouted- still shaking you roughly by the shoulders.

“Kats- it’s fine- she’s gonna be okay I promise.” Eijiro said- his tone was even and yet he had no hint of calmness in his voice.

“You bit me on accident babe, and I turned out fine didn’t I?” Denki asked Katsuki rhetorically- trying to soothe him. God knows what would happen if he was angry with himself right now- Katsuki was usually the problem solver of the group, the one that always cleaned up the messes they left in their wake, and yet he was totally stumped on what to do.

Turning Denki was totally different- he was strong. Katsuki knew he could take the pain. He wasn’t so sure about you. That was probably misogynistic, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Denki hadn’t literally passed out in your arms the way you had. You were weak- you couldn’t take this. The initial pain was allegedly the easiest part- at least Eijiro had told him so between spurts of agony- Katsuki had lost almost complete recollection of his transform hundreds of years ago. He had truly fucked up this time- agreeing to fuck someone so weak, so puny, so endlessly human. In hindsight, he should have never agreed to the whole arrangement in the first place but, hindsight is a beautiful thing and a leisure that Katsuki never had- so- he had to deal with this, and fast.

Bakugou instantly got up from his bed, speeding to their cabinet of various medication- leaving you with his boyfriends who were likely more capable than he was. He searched through the cupboard- ibuprofen wouldn’t cut it for the worst pain a human would ever experience. He dug through allopurinol, codeine, eplerenone, Xanax until he found what he was looking for- pure morphine and a syringe that was probably clean. Not like he had to worry about infection- your body would kill it for you the second you started fully transforming.

God, he had totally forgot about what the transformation meant- he was going to have another person in his house- that was fine he decided. You were good, kind, pretty; he would like having you around maybe you would finally be able to decorate this house for him he’d been putting it off since at least the 1800s.

Katsuki heard the quiet steps of Hitoshi behind him.

“Was it worth it?” Katsuki asked the purple haired man speaking out loud to him- which was unusual for his coven, practically yelling at him.

“What?” Hitoshi frowned. “Was it worth it to get your rocks off? Was she the best fuck you’ve ever had Hitoshi? Better than all of us, yeah?”

Hitoshi couldn’t speak, left without air.

“Was it worth it to rob her of her life just so you could stick your dick in her?” Katsuki spat his words with venom. Before Hitoshi could begin to answer him the blonde shot past him. He hovered over you, brushing away the others to pump straight morphine into your system to combat the pain you could definitely still feel even in your unconscious state.

“Kats,” Denki said in his head to Katsuki- grabbing his attention in an instant, “Do you think she’s gonna be okay?” He had a shake in his voice, he had never been romantically or sexually attracted to you or any woman, but he cared for you deeply- the same as he cared for the others in his coven.

Katsuki sat up, pulling the needle out of your arm, “No clue to be honest; tell Hitoshi I say sorry- he’s not in my head.”

“Not in mine either,” Eijiro added smiling uneasily at Hitoshi who was now stood in the doorway, “He’s not thinking at all, he’s mad at himself Kats not at you, don’t worry about it- we have more pressing things to be concerned about,” he nodded at your passed out form.

Hitoshi walked over to the bed- slowly. Sitting on the edge, simply staring at you.

They all gathered together in one certainty- you would survive, and you would be theirs to have and to hold. Forever.

[tomyo]

Oshi no Ko and Celebrity (more specifically child celebrity with a large tangent on being a public persona)

So in my seasonal anime catch up, I finally watched Oshi no Ko.

Admittedly I was kinda not expecting something that great after they kill off their best character right away. Ai is left to be this great discovering mystery of who was she really when she wasn't being the perfect idol. I can't say I found it extremely profound but if there's something I do like, it makes clear some aspect of the focus on youth in the idol industry.

So like, there's a little bit of ick at points in the series. We meet our adult main character obsessed and possibly in love with a 16 year old idol. Ai herself is quite off putting being treated with some sense of adulthood despite being a teen mom. I still don't know how I feel about Ai overall, she talks in her last moments about wanting to have her kids join her in the industry that quite literally killed her on the day she became an adult. Initially I didn't think much of that aspect until we start to see more characters get added.

We meet characters like the adultified Arima who's already gone through a career fallout by highschool, Minami who is a gravure model (more or less soft lewd photos) already by her freshman year of high school (therefore pressumably started in middle school), Akane who is partially a victim of evil editing, and Memcho pretending to be a teenager to be in the industry (The 20 year age cut off was up until recently the age of legal adulthood in Japan). We see these unusual circumstances where we are meant to recognize these characters as children in questionable situations.

The small arcs Aqua follows in this first season basically all cover where an adult has failed. Questionable agencies trying to hire Ruby, uncaring directors on a show Arima cares deeply about, Akane being unsupported by the adults when she's a victim on online harassment, and so forth.

Aqua is played off as a character with only one goal in mind, to find out who is his biological father so he can get revenge of Ai's death. He's already been long worn down by the industry possibly from a mix of being a reborn adult, growing up with an idol mother, and then after working is the industry in the background while trying to learn of it to find out how to find his father. In contrast to Ruby's eye spark of naive hope for the industry, his eye tends to be sullen and turn black, particularly when he is manipulating the industry for his results.

However, Aqua tends to have a secret secondary goal that he himself isn't fully conscious of which is to not let someone else fall into the situation Ai found herself in. He will avoid connection while also leading change when something harms the other youth talent around him such as flipping the script to give Arima the performance she wanted for her favourite scene or organizing Akane's redemption PR with her castmates. Side note, plenty of talent industry stories tend to focus on ideas that performers hold beef and rivalry with each other all the time where thus far, Oshi no Ko has made that more of an outlier rather having cast members being extremely supportive of each other's work while the higher up are more so the problem. Even things like the maybe one good adult, Yoriko (the mangaka) still wanting to appreciate the adaptation of her series even if it was a subpar production shows how meaningful these relationships tend to be on a human level. Either way, it is always satisfying to see how Aqua try to foster a healthier industry with his more mature understanding.

So manga spoilers from here on out.

Akane's analysis of Ai was the first moment it occurred to me that Oshi no Ko had anything decent to say about the entertainment industry. Ai always gave off the energy of an unrestrained child which is actually what she turns out to be. She is a product of parental abuse who was scouted at the vulnerable age of 12 and quickly was hailed as a major success in that industry, certainly nothing short due to the fact she puts on an excitable and childish personality. She treats her pregnancy with coy jovialness as being described that she might be too small to naturally birth children. She has to be taught concepts like it's okay to say "I Love You" even if you don't mean it. When I play through her scenes, all I can feel is this weird contradiction of childish naivety mixed with disciplined skill. At home she dresses in this motherly way while acting very ditsy while being fully in control as an idol. She somewhat reminds me of the weathernews idol Saya Hiyama, ironically who is in her own scandal right now. If I were to picture Ai's smile in real life, I would imagine it the same as Saya Hiyama's with the always perfectly v like smile showing off her yaeba teeth. Giving this false sense of vulnerability with the watcher when she makes a mistake when she makes a mistake on the weather is somewhat I see Ai to be like except with a more mischievous air.

For another [long] side tangent, being in a personality industry, its interesting to see how fans fail to recognize a curated persona. Back when I spent more time as a cosplayer, I had learned how to act out a persona not only to be in character but also to attract others to you. Maybe the slight ill feeling this series gives me is the reminder of my own experiences as a teen to early adult delicately balancing a believable relatable image while showing only part of myself. There was some sense of that emptiness I felt like Ai's where there was disconnect between the loving emotions I would portray to reality of how unattached I felt (now I know I have BPD though). My relation to the characters lies somewhere between Ai and Memcho. Ai being more like my younger self where as Memcho hits pretty close with her tomboyish look, the bleached hair with the roots growing in, and the bubbly personality and bone structure that helps you get away with appearing younger. It's been a joke among my friends the last few years that I get mistaken for still being in my early to mid 20's despite nearing 30 in a few months and moreso, as an underweight 20 year old, I had experienced a lot of leering eyes determined to believe I was as young as 14 for bizarre and creepy reasons. Some aspect of that perceived youth gives me haunting memories and frustration of arrested development where I struggle to be treated as an adult while on the other side it is in fact part of my current business. One thing that is less thought about artist alley is that you do in fact make choices weather to buy or not based on the seller as well. It's not too rare to see kawaii artists invoking the same energy their art gives in how the present themselves. It's come to the point where I tend to spend a few hundred on a dye and cut right before a new show as well as there being a select wardrobe I pick from every trip I go on. I have a makeup bag always on the ready of some easy to put on products I rarely use outside of events and often a much more larger amount of hair tools to get something of a proper styling. These are things I wear because I love them but they are also almost exclusively used to match the appearance of my booth. Likewise, there is a semi exaggerated persona put on to create a welcoming air to my customers that is tweaked to match the energy of different types. Over Sakuracon, there was an embarrassing moment where I called out to a tiktoker while still switched into a more boisterous energy from a previous customer that I had yet to switch out off and horribly scared them off. It also tends to be easier to pull of this energy during or right after talking to fellow artists as it helps build up the approachable personality, its like we are all doing warm ups together. When I see people like Saya Hiyama pull off multiple instances of being so embarassed that she trips over her words with a big giggly smile, I truly admire the persona but am a bit shocked how much people have bought into it being fully real. Especially in the internet age, its very interesting to watch the gap between the viewpoint of creators and fans/consumers. While I'm much more of a smaller niche online personality, I do have behind the scenes experience with instragrammers in the 70k-160k range and the various parasocial experiences they have gone through. It's also a space where you get so accustomed to the mentality of an influencer (for lack of a better word) that it's hard to deal with someone not versed in that space; either from people who take internet clout as a vanity hobby or those who are actively seeking online privacy. Ai's double nature of being seen as the genius idol while feeling like a deceiving liar resonates pretty deeply on this front. There is a lot of sacrifice in identity that you give your fans in order to in return earn their respect and by extension business. Like Ai, I try to keep some note of regulars I meet at events but with going to multiple back to back events, it can get hard to keep hold of all that information.

Tumblr told me enough of this tangent so we'll move onto the short manga talk I meant to give.

From reading the wiki, It turns out that the twin's father is another actor who was molested in his childhood and in fact birthed a child at 11 as a result of that rape. Seeing as he is also the big bad, it points to the fact the focus on the story is not just the trauma industry workers go through but more specifically the abuse of power younger workers tend to face. While Aqua at current seeks revenge, I would not be surprised if the end goal is to process the line of trauma that has been dealt through out the show. Even if Aqua is a teenager, his previous life is thus far the oldest in terms of lived experience and possibly even older than Aqua's father at the present. He's had the most lived experience and the most chance to also live outside of entertainment that others have more so grown up in. The twin's father is currently an abuser most likely from the result of his own unprocessed abuse and to allow a new generation to grow up in a better industry than he or Ai did, it starts with stopping the past from repeating. Ultimately I think the best end state for Aqua is likely going to be some form of Manager or talent public relations keeper. The show doesn't necessarily show any sign of something like that but that would be the best route for such things.

Ultimately Japan's idol culture in reality needs to change as well as checking our parasocial expectations of celebrities. It's fair to have some critical views on celebrities in terms of say ethics but it's also important to keep in mind that anything put out in the world has some biased narrative, especially if its any form of production. The reality Ai portrayed as a dedicated idol was a lie, the reality LoveNow showed of Akane being a selfish girl was a lie. Maybe the most important lesson I've learned is not to put stock in anything that revolves around the presentation of a real person. Often I will admire and adore fictional creations but not it's creator for this reason. Those images of people you've never met on a personal level never hold up to the truth and can be hurtful on both ends. People are not myths, they are humans.

[letitrainathousandflames]

"kids cartoon" and "not much room for toxicity right?"

Oh my friend... You've never been deep in a fandom for one of those cartoons that got popular with adults, have you? They're all toxic because people can't comprehend that they're thinking too hard about a show for ten year olds. Voltron is probably winning because it was where the anti/pro shipper thing really took off (people were daring to ship the fictional cartoon 25 year old with his 16-18 year old friends, oh no!) so people are kinda traumatized from it and also some Voltron fans were so awful to the creative team (also over shipping, harassing them to make the fanon favorite canon) that by the end it kind of felt like even the writers didn't want to be there anymore.

Voltron is a good show with wonderful characters and story (until the last ten minutes) and world building. It had many good potential ships and canon friendships. It produced some of the most beautiful fan art and fan fic I've ever seen.

And it was also toxic as hell.

ooooh, right. I forgot about the adults making a huge ordeal out of media clearly meant for kids/teens/people that can understand it is just a tv show.

This reminds me of the literal adults demanding the characters from Avatar to be "emotionally mature".

Y'know, something perfectly normal to demand of a 12-year-old who just woke up from a 100 year nap in a world where his entire people had been wiped out and he, a monk from an order defined by being peaceful and kind, is expected to literally kill a mass-murdering Lord before he kills everyone he cares about.

Or the guy whose father burned his face off and kicked him out of his home at 14 with an order to find a legend that most likely didnt even exist. Or the 14-15 year old siblings whose father was taken as a P.O.W. and whose mother was killed in a raid.

It was soooo exhaustive to watch these ppl complain about these characters acting selfishly, or childishly, or carelessly, or, in any other way like... well, like teenagers living without any guidance or community to interact with and learn from, which is exactly what they were!

Anyway... RIP voltron fandom, it sucks that your joy was ruined by those weirdos. And guys... please don't harass creators, that's so fucking rude. Yikes.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 16 BRAN II (pages 221-237)

Bran continues his journey to come to grips with his physical limitations, gives people food for thought about the inheritance rights of bastards, and sits about listening to old men trying to keep the north running and preparing for winter.

-

"We were having a jape with Hodor," confessed Big Walder. "I am sorry if we offended Prince Bran. We only meant to be amusing." He at least had the grace to look abashed. Little Walder only looked peevish. "And me," he said. "I was only being amusing."

Not sure I care very much for the Walders. You notice neither actually apologised to Hodor, (even if he didn't understand what was going on) or actually to Bran, they were sorry for offending authority and even then only once they got in trouble for it, so they weren't really sorry for being a pair of asses, they were sorry they got caught.

"Can't you take a joke?" I can, but you haven't told one yet.

"A good lord comforts and protects the weak and helpless," he told the Freys. "I will not have you making Hodor the butt of cruel jests, do you hear me? He's a good-hearted lad, dutiful and obedient, which is more than I can say for either of you."

MVP Luwin back at it, this time bringing us a subtle but quality roast.

"Lord Bolton has never acknowledged the boy, so far as I am aware," Ser Rodrick said. "I confess, I do not know him." "Few do," she replied. "He lived with his mother until two years past, when young Domeric died and left Bolton without an heir. That was when he brought his bastard to the Dreadfort. -"

RIP Domeric, I hear you weren't complete trash, now excuse me... *rummages around in the storage trying to find the guillotine* I need to be ready for when that trash arrives.

Bran wanted to give the lady a hundred men to defend her rights, but Ser Rodrik only said, "He may look, but should he do more I promise you there will be dire retribution. You will be safe enough, my lady... though perhaps in time, when your grief has passed, you may find it prudent to wed again."

Hey, umm, Lady Hornwood is... she's the one who... brb, rethinking my stance on 'no human being deserves to be burnt alive'

Urgh, I'd suggest sending that trash and his smelly friend to a hell dimension, but there's a chance they'd still be the worst things there.

Finally all of the principal vassals of House Stark had been heard from save for Howland Reed the crannogman, who had not set foot outside his swamps for many a year, and the Cerwyns whose castle lay half a day's ride from Winterfell. Lord Cerwyn was a captive of the Lannisters, but his son, a lad of fourteen, arrived one bright, blustery morning at the head of two dozen lances. Bran was riding Dancer around the yard when they came through the gate. He trotted over to greet them. Cley Cerwyn had always been a friend to Bran and his brothers. "Good morrow, Bran," Cley called out cheerfully. "Or must I call you Prince Bran now?" "Only if you want." Cley laughed. "Why not? Everyone else is a king or a prince these days! -"

He seems nice. (genuine)

ngl, "should I call you Prince Bran" now just set off my brain: "What's your name?" "Darien." "Not for long! Soon you'll be Prince Darien. It's a big difference, you see."