#i didnt have any titles that made sense </3

[pcktknife]

changing my entire namecard early for next fest

[sockeye-station]

Wait is your four the captain? How did that happen?

YES! YES!! I GOT SOMEONE TO ASK ABOUT IT! I WIN!!!!

CLEARS THROAT. OKAY OKAY OKAY IVE HAD THIS ROTATING IN MY HEAD FOR A HOT FUCKN MINUTE AND ILL TRY MY BEST TO EXPLAIN IT IN A WAY THAT MAKES SENSE

OKAY. LETS REWIND ALL THE WAY BACK TO OCTO EXPANSION!!!

so! octo expansion goes all normally, we have our agent 8 fighting through the entire structure to escape, agent 3 gets brainwashed, they have to fight, yadda yadda. you probably know how it goes by now. But here's the thing.

what if i went ahead and changed a tiny thing. just the teensiest detail.

what if instead of spamming splashdowns, tartar decides to use one big fuck off booyah bomb.

"but, didn't booyah bomb come out after octo expansion?"

yes. yes it did. and that's why i chose booyah bomb specifically.

tartar whipped out the idea to use a booyah bomb from some prototypes it found out about after abducting god-knows-who, and used it despite its unstable build. No one, at that moment, knew whatever that was, what it did, how dangerous it was, or anything of the sort. This was some sort of last hurrah, as it knew that this was its last shot at stopping this failure from escaping the facility. And so it exerted Agent 3 into giving it everything he's got. Quite literally, even! It pushed him so hard, he too became unstable while trying to mantain and boost the energy ball.

The Booyah Bomb is thrown with as much power as Tartar could muster out of that creature, pretty much covering most of the arena. Once the ink settles, and Agent 8 gathers his senses, he looks around. Agent 3 is nowhere to be seen.

at no point in canon is sanitized agent 3 properly splatted throughout the fight — you only break their shield, they superjump back to their platform, and you eventually knock them out. you never splat them. so who's to say that, just like agent 8 during the ascent, they don't have a respawn anchor?

That's what I decided to play with here. Agent 3 is splatted with no respawn anchor. Agent 3 is dead.

The rest of octo expansion plays as normal, only that there's no passed out Agent 3 waiting at the helicopter.

Starting from here, Agent 8 becomes affiliated with the NSS through Cuttlefish after breaking the news, feeling like he needs to make it up for the loss they suffered as he feels responsible for it. He grows closer with Agent 4, and eventually they become closer friends, even staying at her place after she invited him once their friendship was more developed. This paragraph is mostly to explain how they know each other and how their friendship started, also explaining why my Agent 8 gives OtH Agent 4's number instead of Cuttlefish.

Okay! Now, back to the point of this ask. I actually had a bit of this typed out in a server I'm in!

[Agent 4] didn't really have a choice when it came to becoming Captain, being the fifth longest-standing member of the NSS after craig, the squisters and agent 3. craig was retiring, the squid sisters were still busy with their inkopolis celebrity scene, and [Agent 3] was dead. so she was the next best option.

she didnt really ask for this in the first place, and yet she accepted out of hopes of being acknowledged. When she was just an agent, the rest of the team didn't keep in touch with her much (except for Agent 8) after the events of OE, and at one point even stopped being called for whenever Callie got the shades on again. Whenever she patrolled, she did it without any previous call, and was rarely acknowledged by the others. She still kept visiting the canyon whenever she could after everyone else had moved on.

even after becoming the "captain", the others didnt usually reach out to her for assistance, and instead tended to act on their own. they never really took her as captain, rarely listening to her. so obviously this whole mess made her feel like absolute dogshit, questioning why she even decided to go through with this.

that title was meant for [Agent 3]. not for her. he was the one that came before her, and was better than her in so many ways. at least that's what the others kept repeating around her.

as much of a punch in the gut being constantly compared to someone else was, she kept pushing to try and make herself known, separate from the other's achievements. which is why she ended up accepting marina's request.

[zeravmeta]

Thoughts on RvB Restoration Finale

not really that long just my 2 cents

I wanna say I liked the movie because I did enjoy myself watching it, but honestly I'm very much gonna stick to the RvB17 open ended finale

Overall the movie was... ok? It wasn't unwatchably bad the way RvB Zero was but it also just made a lot of choices that I disagree with fundamentally both with the writing and the core themes of the series as a whole. I've had this take ever since RvB14 on the fanbase and the writers but this movie flat out says it:

The writers are fucking unable to let go of PFL and Chorus in a meaningful way.

For a series thats core message is about saying goodbye, they literally dont let that part of the show die. They are functionally unable to let go of the past peaks of the franchise and write something new. And I get it: RvB fundamentally cycles with its storytelling, but what was so refreshing to me about RvB14-17 was that it actually progressed itself Past those peaks of RvB10 and 11-13 (and honestly people REALLY dont appreciate the good in those later seasons). It felt like a natural (if wacky) progression, and it definitely wasnt perfect but it gave the extended cast more opportunities to shine in ways we didnt appreciate before

This movie just doesnt do that? Honestly the fact that they KILLED Sarge and Doc was so... disrespectful to me? Like not in the sense that it was as bad as how RvB Zero (fake) killed Tucker, but more like it felt like the writers killed them off because they were following a book titled "How To Write Story" and saw 'killing off characters is good writing'. Sarge got a dramatic send off that also didnt feel that impactful? And I did see it coming from the start but having Doc be Washs' guilt haunting him just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Its a really self contained story, a whole bunch of characters outside the main 3 reds and Caboose felt ooc, a good chunk of characters dont even show up (dude where was DONUT??? youre telling me he only has 5 seconds in Simmons' mind in a cheerleading costume?), it was composed of like 3-4 sets total, Carolina, Tex and 479er all just kind of Show Up to be badasses in the way The New Person would show up in an MCU movie...

Honestly watching this movie I kind of felt like it would have a twist ending. Like the credits would play and then itd zoom out to show the Reds and Blues post S17 in a movie theater watching this dramatic finale, because thats honestly what it felt like: The whole movie was a cheap facsimile of RvB as a whole. The fact that Trocadero wasn't allowed/signed on to make the music for this finale really does influence this movie, since they used a whole bunch of songs and osts that felt out of place (though I will admit Vale Deah softly playing as Grimmons said goodbye to each other did make me choke up a little)

Despite my negative review, I do still recommend watching it, since there was stuff I did like: Simmons in a leader role, Tex and the fun reveal during her fight with Tucker-Meta, Grif FINALLY getting to retire, Caboose as a whole was really well written, there IS good in this movie! And again it's not unwatchable bad, it just... kind of leaves a somber, sour taste in my mouth. This movie threw a whole bunch of stuff to the wall not to see what would stick but to break it all and leave for the insurance money. Just a "hey since we're sinking might as well make all these callbacks and break a bunch of stuff along the way."

Welp. Goodbye, RvB. At least this way I know that RT dies without riding your coattails any longer. And hey given that RvB technically has 3 endings (RvB17, Zero and RvB19) you can just take your pick on what you like best anyways. Quick edit no jutsu I forgor to mention there is the sequence at the beginning of the movie where it is implied RvB19 COULD also be one of the simulations in and of itself so. yeah you can in fact just take it as you will

[doveissummerstuck]

PAGE 1-10 ACT 1

we here chat

Ok this begins now,,,

The iconic a young man stands in his bedroom he really do be standing tho

but thats literally his name guys!!! and I got insulted,,, so sad literally cries

yeah ok pal,,, im still gonna call you zoosmell pooplord,, :/ anyways first character of the comic he's really silly guys look at that goofy smile bro is literally 8D

ok so first the room,, we sharin a bday ,, pretty cool next the fucking cake on the drawer..for what purpose john,, ok next the bed,, banger I love his sheets next the hot male above his bed,, smash /hj next the hammer and nails on the floor??? PICK THAT UP JOHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! chest go hard tho but why there a cake on it

yeah i can tell about the cakes,, I can tell johnny boy,, o em gee programmaer u nerd (i code for a living) I <3 paranormal lore yall,, and good for u as a magician but fuck dat have to do with the nails and on the floor and the cake on drawer,,,wait bars

i didnt even notice he didnt have his arms what (homestuck brainrot)

dumbass pooplord antics /lh

yea do that remove that oddly placed cake

WHY THE FUCK DID IT TURN BLUEBERRY ....

i would NOT do that ( i would absolutely do that) but I wouldn't put it on his bed,, I've eaten cake in bed to many crumbs :/

get yo arms my manz you you you armless

what the fuck,, WHY ARE YOU HOKDLING UR OWN ARMS,, also why the photo in the chest look like his dad

and they disapereadd with the captachalogeu

oh they fake ik that ( no I didnt) now get up to some silly antics my boy ,,, bruh is a captachaloguemaxxing syalldex sigma 😹 (sorry) anwyas look at the other items

first we got arms

next we got beans???

next we got ultimate silly antics disguise

a book titled Colonel Sasacare's Daunting text and Magicl Rivorioli and Practical Japripory

next we have a book titled wise guy

next we have a sword that looks like its made of white bamboo

a wizard hat that matches the chest

handcuffs

and more beans???????????????????

oh,, ik that tottally, :3 i mean i got most of them right ,, but tf is a beagle puss is that what its called,,, anyways

bro only got 4 lilttle logue thingies bruhh

isnt vernaclaur a vein or something what

yeah bro and u have 2 cakes pls put 2 AND 2 TOGETHER

this is finna be good!!!

ion think bro can equip it

knew he couldnt equpi it,, call me vriska cause I'm pyshcic (that joke made no sense sorry) ,, bro got the worst fecth modus every bro cant access shit,,, bros room finna be looking like he just got passed the blunt,, STACK DATA STRUTCTURE??? nerdy ass fetch modus bruh,, (I love the name) bro I find it puzzling and mildly irritating too bruh oml,,, "but with any hope" but with any hope.. but wwith any hope? but wvith any hope? but wvwith any hope?

sorry yrall ampora moment [the last 1 is my ampora oc guys :::::::;) ]

ok imma shut up now good night or good morning ,, imma contiunwe this later,,

[system-of-a-feather]

Trauma Talk 'n Shit

(TW: Neglect, Resource Scarcity)

Okay so like, a thing that really caught me off guard a while ago in therapy was our therapist asking what trauma I held was (with the qualifiers that its cool if not and that he didnt want to press and shit) and I honestly couldn't answer immediately cause honestly? I forgot 😂

Like I have some obvious ones that on paper are "traumatic" experiences but aren't really Trauma in reference to me as a part (the whole situation with my dad, the whole situation with my oldest sister) cause it just really isn't felt or experienced as anything I'd consider distressing or even disruptive to my life - at least to points in reference to other shit. Like, these days I reflex respond with how I've thrown my dad on his ass so many times, but thats registered as a fun proud moment for me. Parentification tends to be another one if I sit on it longer, but eh, thats not something that I would say really "hurt" me much

And yet I have always been sitting on and claiming the title trauma holder and I OBVIOUSLY am a very trauma adaptive individual and I remember said trauma set a large foundation of my early self and world views - and there I sat, drawing a non-dissociative blank on what my trauma was cause I genuinely forgot cause its genuinely been such a non-issue for like two years.

It's only now that I was able to actually like go "OH RIGHT THAT" and then go "oh yeah that used to really hurt XIV 1.0 back when I was just him and dude coped with so much vitrol and aggression" and - at least one of the top two things XIV 1.0 was formed for - was to compete for resources with our middle sister.

Growing up our parents fostered an EXTREMELY competitive dynamic between the two of us and often when it got down to it, food, comfort, safety and shelter was rewarded to the 1) most excelling and/or 2) loudest and most stressful party and/or 3) the party that was the hardest to make quiet / give up on what they needed

And so largely to cope with that and survive that environment XIV 1.0 was EXTREMELY bad at taking any form of a "no" or much of any forms of neglect from anything and anyone he held respect for, was EXTREMELY loud and EXTREMELY annoying and prone to extreme shock humor, fixated on being the most excelling in all grounds and places, and when anything that he wanted felt threatened / like it might not happen, he hyper escalated super fast and would be stuck on said escalated state for longer than needed to maintain the resource collected.

XIV 1.0 was an extremely "hunger" orientated part and was a feral starved werewolf about it - enough so that to get the system working and Riku 1.0 and XIV 1.0 working together, Ray had to sit both of them down and explain the boundaries to one another on playing nice - one of which was that "you can't say no to XIV 1.0 - at least not directly" cause honestly, XIV 1.0 was extremely sensitive to resource rejection, competition, and sense of unequal bargain - and at the time that did extend decently to attention and affection.

The system setting rules and boundaries fucking pissed me off in the sense that it made me feel restrained, which made me feel like I was not getting my needs met, which activated an emotional flashback (and sometimes proper one) of having to fight aggressively for basic shit and then would get me locked in like anywhere between an hour to like week or two long fits of being in what they would call a "pisser" because I'd be solely in a trauma-orientated "Ill piss everyone the fuck off and make everyone around me miserable until I get what I want"

The thing is though, after a lot of the rough trial and error and rough patches, the system really began fostering an environment where they really began to make it clear that no matter what - they will be serving to meet all my needs to the best of their ability REGARDLESS of if I play nice or not, and that at that point, the only thing in the way between me and my needs / wants was ME communicating them and me disrupting the system trying to get work done for everyone.

And in hindsight, I think that is why the infamous "Lucille got me a guitar" was so absolutely pivotal to me actually starting to work with the system. Cause prior to that I was nothing but a total Piece of Shit to the system trying to protect my resources and get my needs / wants met through the way I was accustomed to (tormenting and aggressively self destructing until I get my way) and the system had grown accustomed to listening but ignoring my massive displays and shit, and then out of no where - one of the things I only briefly half jokingly bugged them about to annoy them (getting a guitar cause itd be COOL) - Lucille just went "Oh yeah sure". And I was fucking BAFFLED cause I did not do any of my usual fucking song and dance of making everyone miserable to get what I want, dude just took me half joking - not even pushing - and went "yeah we can do that" and it just DID NOT compute to my traumatized ass and so fucking confused me that I actually like perked my ears up and was like "wait what ok wait what Ill take it but what is this, what world is this i didnt do shit, i did NEGATIVE shit what"

But ya know, between them actually hearing me out, the elders learning what I needed communication wise and my triggers and radically making accommodations for me, the sheer amount of respect and attention they gave me + that I literally never had to *fight* for my needs to be heard beyond with what we just physically couldn't do allowed me to really redirect that internally lashing out energy to the external world exclusively - which rapidly with maturity and learning to manage myself and fuses, manifested to the extreme focus, dedication, and persistence that I pride myself in

On top of that, parallel to it all, we ended up talking to and making amends with the sister I had that shit with and mutually addressed how the dynamic was extremely harmful and toxic to both of us and how we both - over the years - REALLY were disillusioned in the idea of fighting over needs, especially as adults, when we could just go and ya know, meet our needs by ourself if for one reason our parents or eachother were making it difficult. We both had tools to take care of ourselves, so why are we both having a self destructing / destructing competition when we could just go "eh ok well then ill take care of myself"

And so honestly - I really really haven't thought about the neglect and resource fighting that was once such a super super integral part of the identity of the old part (XIV 1.0) that I identify the most with and thats really just a fascinating thing to look back upon in hindsight.

I'm never really resource scared or concerned much (beyond dysphoria passively being there cause the concern of limitations of medical advancement vs needs may be something I can't just push through; that said, I also know that even if that happens I can figure it out what with the system) at all and I haven't felt challenged or threatened by really anyone internal or external in years; so with those two being the largest triggers for that shit and the fact that I am really hard to trigger in those regards at this point, I really, genuinely, have not thought about the neglect or resource scarcity trauma in literal years.

And our system has a rule of "don't share major triggers publicly" but genuinely? That trauma is so damn healed and all that I'm really just like??? I really don't mind sharing it? What is an anon gonna do, say "oh im gonna take away your starbucks" cause bitch come over here and try "ooooh im unfollowing" bitch I dont care about followers, if I loose all my audience so fucking be it like 😂 We aint on here with attention as a resource, we just throw shit at the wall and people chat sometimes I guess "ill fight you" bitch sure, that sounds like a good time its my love language

Anyways though, just a long post looking back on trauma and healing from one of the traumas we've basically so deeply moved on from that I literally authentically forgot that used to bother me.

TLDR: Healings possible and often happens without you noticing until you look back in hindsight and go "Oh."

[s0lar-ch3ri]

making this a series ig (spoilers, mostly minor, idk well just have to ROLL WITH IT AND SEE)

episode is starting from zero, episode 1 (quick note: i love how excited everyone is aty the beggining for this camoain, so heartwarming) "'for all you audio listeners your about to hear what a man catching on fire sounds like' 'and also a house catching on fire'" "so its like 3 belts? yeah" "this character sucks not enough belts" ok chip hasnt been described and hes already drawn blood "how much trouble does this woman have keeping her pants up holy shit" "anything that looks valueable, take it" "whats a barrel" instant love with this campaine from here "ill carry this" "ok" "but w h y" “this is the fastest I've ever committed arson in a campaign” "ok as soon as we light this ill let them know so they die an honorable death" "but the barrel is terrified of fire" "so this is a barrel" "lets blow up this popcicle place" hes trying guys "grab a barrel as well i need to study" "in you multitude of belts" when did i forget jay had so many and got bullied for it "i hope she didnt find any more belts in there" ok but whenever i hear marshal jon being described the dopamine just floods out "oh! that wasnt the bathroom!" "no it was not, it was the room where we got the explosives" "WHAT ARE YOU GRABBING THE EXPLOSIVES FOR" "to blow up your ship" bro i loved how gill interacted with people before what an idiot /pos "gill make a-dont make anything you told the truth" gotta love grizzly doing a save "and jay you go to kick this man in the back of the knee and you do you realise that his calf muscles are literally built like boulders" "i want to put my hand on his shoulder" and so it begins the convincing! yes gill go!! "hang on let me see that...big j" "JON, ITS YOUR CHOIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE" "as the door is blown off-" "did somebody fart?" ah yes gill you lit the explosive that makes people fart" "BACHOW!" please dont stop this man from making random noises its great "is your skin always wet or is it dry?" GRIZZ ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS!! "you are to learn a lesson from the moisture master!" remember when gill made his title canon now, its 6 seconds to 20 minutes in "THOSE PIRATES!" man knowing him now its kinda strange to hear him hunting them down "i just occasonally grab people and im like 'you can be better'" cant believe gill went from telling people to be better to just immedately trying to solve their problems (like not even 2 episodes later if im remembering right) "excellent jay you are a fog frog" "im gonna steal somebody's hat then run out the door" jay stealing chips job now "im passing the barrel out the window" i remember when hed just be a problem for any stealth kind of movements "MY FRIEND SAID HE DOESNT WANT YOU TO HAVE AN ADVANTAGE" "there is still time" ITS STARTING WOW "you get the sense this guy cannot see very well" i forgot he had sight problems "YOU BLEW A HOLE IN OUR TOWER" "and you blew a hole in my heart" ACCIDENTAL FORESHADOWING AND A GREAT MOMENT FOR SHIPPERS?? HOW MUCH IS CHARLIE FEEDING US WITH GILLION TIDESTRIDER!?!!? (spoiler: a lot) "can i make a persuasion check?" "sure" if charlie never said this we would never have the future pirate jon, IF HE NEVER GOT A 16 THINK WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED "you cant tell if i cry a single tear or if im usually that moist" the fact that he is can make for an angsty hc that nobody really would notice gill crying "jon didnt make it" oh this better not be another accidental foreshadow "you see, a pink frogtupus" everyone being excited for the preztal reveal was also all of us huh dont lie! "i look like a big flounder" fanartists canon gill description /j "god damn it big j" friendly reminder that (from what ive seen) marshal jon is the only character gill gave a nickname, and he had met him like 20+ minutes ago "YA BOY GILL ABOUTA BE FRIED" "ima just grab them both and jump" ngl i cant put my finger on it but calmer gillion probs the chaos control thats needed because of him being feral "jon this is for you" *proceeds to get an 8* (would have been epic if he suceeded that charisma tho) "jon, the power is- eyeh" "i look over wistfully (?) 'but w h y?'"

[okthatsgreat]

3, 23 and 76 (lgowab) for the ask game?

YAYAYAY!!!

3. describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic nothing TOO out there i dont think...... usually i have a very VERY loose outline of like. here is how the fic starts and here is how it will end, here is how these characters start and here is how they will end. yknow. and sometimes that outline doesnt even happen until a few chapters in LMFAOOOO sometimes i really am just making shit up on the fly !!!!!!!!!!!! i didnt have a set second protagonist in mind for lgowab until that fifth chapter lmfao!!!! IM A FRAUD

but THEN once ive gotten into the rhythm of it i usually write down ideas for further chapters/further dialogue down in an empty discord server, so while its still disconnected there is still SOME organization!!! which means i have a general idea of how these next chapters should go :)

23. best writing advice for other writers? ooooooo there are a few tips i would suggest! one of the more obvious is learn when to use line breaks definitely. don't just make it one big chunk of text! hurts the eyes and makes it less appealing for any new readers that are just chiming in!! also learn a bit more on writing dialogue, and remember that you don't have to add a name tag after every sentence of dialogue!! the readers are smart enough to know who is talking (ESPECIALLY IF ITS ONLY TWO PEOPLE) so constantly going back and forth between Person A said, Person B replied, Person A said, Person B replied gets repetitive!

and then one final piece of advice i TRY to follow for multi-chapter fics is the rule that the character whose pov we are reading from shouldnt be the exact same at the end of the chapter as they were at the beginning of the chapter. for example, if i wrote makoto to be tense at the beginning of the chapter, then the end of the chapter could have him more relaxed. if i wrote miu as confident in the beginning of the chapter, i could write her as unfulfilled and irritated at the end of it. this change can be subtle!!!! its a good tip for preventing stagnant characters/action as you move forward from chapter to chapter :)

76. did you have any ideas that didn't make the final cut of lgowab?

LMFAO HMMMMM LET ME THINK. IM DIVING DEEP INTO MY EMPTY DISCORD SERVER FOR THIS ONE also im just gonna throw this under a cut for spoilers GHFDJGB

ASK GAME!!!

a really REALLY early draft of the scene where makoto calls out a bunch of names had shuichi replacing kaede!! ultimately decided on kaede because it made a LOTTTTT more sense with mius story for her to be called, but i knew that i wanted somebody important from season 53 to be nominated in that scene and shuichi was chosen bc he was friends with himiko

korekiyo was also nearly on the list!

there was another danganronpa theatre event planned! i only wrote the title down so im not super sure about any details, but i thiinnnkkkkk this might have been an alternative scene to the himiko danganronpa theatre event we got (the one with rantaro). it would have starred the below characters and they would have been playing some kind of card game in the hospital. scrapped because the other event made a lot more sense for himiko

and then of course theres a whole bunch of dialogue thats just floating around LMAO

[hiscules]

hello tumblr, its been a while since i posted something personal and i think it is time. Just a recap of my life, 2022 was a fucking ride. I posted here my experience about my chronic headache tension, and how I thought it will never go away. Well, that's partly true, but like how things in my life go, things still worked out in the end. Turns out the pharmacy I've been getting my meds at, well, they are not working. And the same meds I got like from another pharmacy, they worked. That is why my headache is not getting any better. Adding also to the fire, I developed a headache because of overused of ibuprofen. Never in my life I have been prescribed of sleeping pills just because I can't sleep due to the continuous pain and what a bad way to discover that there is something called Auditory hallucinations. Yeah, there's such a thing. Most painful thing I experienced in my life. I feel so helpless and hopeless. Glad that I know how to deal with this since it's not entirely gone. Maybe I got better of managing it.

I also got promoted from work. Big achievement seeing how competitive it is in my department and how I got promoted being only there for more or less a year. Meanwhile, i dont even want to talk about my salary. Life is unfair.

I officially graduated in UST with marching and all. Pleased to see myself there and not in a zoom meeting haha.

I passed the CPALE. I've waited for more or less 3 years for this board exam, and when it finally came, I passed. Years of sacrifices, frustrations, self-doubt, hard work, continuous expenses. And it all has been realized. I don't know if this title is worthy of all the hard works though and not just for the aesthetics lol. I wish it does.

Started to not talk with my bestfriend. Will not go into details with this one.

Grabe, a lot has happened in 2022 and still, no love life in sight! Still grateful though. I'll take what's on the table haha.

These are only the milestones worth mentioning, I still havent mentioned the things that not as great but made me smile and made my 2022 bearable and not a fucking hell.

The Pink Revolution, I have never felt more alive, I have never felt so included--never felt so much hope. To do things with the same cause, to do things because you know they are good, not just for you but to do it for the whole country. Also worth mentioning, the memes at that time are fucking hilarious, the online wars between the one that made sense and with the one who doesn't. I went to Boracay around this time and felt really the Leni supporters there. One time at the club, amidst the loud music, there was this group who shouted "BBM" with the beat of the music. Girl, you didint know how that, THAT, riled up the whole fucking club. the whole club including me, all fucking drunk, jumping, shouting at the top of our lungs: "LENI!" our same goal is to over power their shouts. All Kakampinks had camaraderie there, hugging, dancing, singing, drinking shots together not to mention Kakampinks are cuties. I will never forget how we got robbed of such a great candidate. Will never forget this as long as I'm breathing.

My sister got married so that's a thing

Made a new set of friends. They are work friends, actually, that I really got along with. So, that's a happy thing.

Went to La Union with workmates. Kind of sad taht I didnt get any awards, but it is what it is I guess.

I know there are still more but these are the only things I remembered.

Grabe ang 2022, what a ride.

[sanstropfremir]

well the audition process is like any other audition for the most part. (i sent my 5050 audition online, their company is called attrakt and theyve been in entertainment for a while but they never debut a group before) ive only been to a few live ones. fnc and hybe geffen. hybes had us sign a nda though (not that people honored it??? it was rlly long and scary basically saying they were making a tv program and if you get accepted ((which i didnt)) you cant tell the public what the production team tells you to do) theres a panel of judges. 3 for hybe 2 for fnc and they have groups of 5 singers or dancers come in. i auditioned for singing both times and basically when you arrive you have a check in sheet then you get a number sticker. after that the judges set up you mingle with other auditinees and they call in a group of singers then dancers then singers then dance again etc. hybe's judges were two guys one woman who was really sweet and tried so hard not to be intimidating always smiling and nodding. they also had a camera man and a boom mic operator, im guessing for that reality show they havent made yet. and you had to say your name, ethnicity, and age (i said my nationality like a idiot) and i added in the title of the song i was singing then i gave a lackluster audition (lmao) however i will add both companies let people go overtime for their auditions despite saying to prepare one verse and chorus. ANDDD both said you can only audition for either vocals or dance but the judges like people who do both, theyre usually the ones who get held back.

OMG HI THANK YOU!! oh ok so it's like a general style audition, that makes a lot of sense. also omg that nda??????? and specifically that you're not allowed to say anything about what the production team tell you to do?????????? like we all know the shows are scripted but still......

[ma-lark-ey]

So I did this with Harry Potter, I’m working on doing it with Mortal Instruments. Only fair I do it with Grishaverse trilogy as well.

Will I read the novellas? Lol no probably not. Am I having a bopping time with the main series? Yeah. It’s good distraction of being a trans high schooler in America right now.

Here’s what I knew going in:

Nothing! I knew it was connected to Six of Crows and set up the fantasy better so I was recommended to read it first so I DID. i had no idea about ANY of this plot.

Spoilers for all of Shadow & Bone trilogy. I have thoughts <<3

1.) Shadow & Bone ( 24/3/23-27/3/23 )

(8/10)

I really liked this first book !! I wasn’t particularly. Attached to any one character but I will say that I fell for the Darkling hook line and sinker.

Alina is. Alina? I don’t hate her. I don’t love her. I think she’s a pretty basic main character, she’s definitely not my favourite mc ever. I think she’s certainly the right fit here, I know some books I read and go “this main character is NOT for this” but Alina !! She works.

I think this book could’ve been more interesting if Alina, rather than being like “the chosen one” was the kind of person who decided to make themself the chosen one. Does that make sense?

All this critique makes it sound like I hated this book, I think it’s genuinely really wonderful and totally worth it’s hype. I made playlists for this book. Like not just my standard “title - author” playlist. I’ve got playlists for Alina and the Darkling and Nikolai (WE’LL GET TO HIM.)

2.) Siege & Storm (27/3/23-30/3/23)

(7/10)

This book IS GOOD. im going to say that because I did enjoy. Almost all of this.

I think Mal and Nikolai’s little. Whatever that was. Was so funny and I think that so many problems could be avoided if they just had a little kiss. Throuple it up baby. Alina has two hands. Also Mal you’re DOWN BAD for the prince and we can ALL tell.

I LOOOOVED the pirate arc. Obsessed with it. Gobbled it down. It was SOO good. Love pirates. Love Sturmhond not taking the Darklings shit. Love the fact that none of these people take any of the grishas shit.

LOVED ALINA PUNCHING HIM.

i think Alina and Nikolai and Alina and Mal are both equally good endgames honestly. I wouldnt be mad with either. But IDEALLY they’re all holding hands and making out. I am PUSHING the Nikolai/Mal agenda. I am FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE.

The ending was mid. I didnt like it very much. I think the Darkling STILL SURVIVING was BULL.

And if NIKOLAI IS DEAD I WILL NOT FINISH RUINS AND RISING. I WONT

especially if we get a Darkling redemption arc like I think we might be.

I literally. Nikolai and the twins? I’d die for them. Alina and Mal can die and I wouldn’t mourn but if ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MY PIRATES I’M RUINED.

Be back when I finish R&R.

3.) Ruins & Rising (30/3/23–5/4/23)

8/10

My vow going into this book was that I’d be happy is Nikolai lived. I had so much faith. SO MUCH FAITH!! For 240 pages!! I was a FOOL!!! I was a stupid optimist who thought my lovely little princeling would get to live a happy life!! I was rooting for them !!

I WAS WRONG !!! Death is too good for our Nikolai even though he’s literally never done anything wromg EVER !!

Hi guys. This man ^^ up there?? In those paragraphs ^^ he was in the agonies.

Me? ME NOW? Me who just finished Ruins & Rising and is living my best life holding my babygirl? I’m thriving.

I. Literally. Texted my mate who had read this series and said “Does Nikolai get a happy ending yes or mo I’m dnfing if he doesnt. I cant do this.” And GUYS!!

He’s KING!!! KOROL REZNI!!!! My BOY!!

He is baby girl.

You know I COULD talk about how Alina’s relationship with the Darkling is very good portrayal of grooming victims/codependent relationships and I could go into how Mal’s whole deal was batshit in the best way or how Tamar is the love of my life. But this isn’t a book review.

This is Lark. Being gay. For the bastard pirate harpy prince boy. On main. I will NEVER be normal about him. I’m holding him like a soaked cat after a bath. Dont you love him.

Anyways yeah not doing a post mortum on every book like I did with HP bc I have no further tjoughts on any of the other books.

Stan Nikolai Lantsov, haters be SILENCED. I’ve heard that he has his own book and I??? Society isnt ready for me when I read that.

I would’ve liked to know what Alina and Mal changed their names to. Thats all I can think of in my hazy mess of Nikolai thoughts.

Also in my perfect world they’re in a throuple. Maybe Tolya is in there and its a polycule but its MUCH funnier if he’s acearo and covers for their stupid asses all the time and is SO annoyed by his king and his kings girlfriend and his kings boyfriend.

Thank you. That is all.

Time to go start Six of Crows so my little sister can get off my back about Kaz <<3

[luxmaeastra]

He knelt before Sarai, lifting her chin with his fingers.

"Queens don't cry."

She stared hollow eyed at Natalia, at Silba. At the way they laughed, their mates and jewels making them sparkle.

"I may dress like them but I'm not like them."

"No. You're not."

Brannon stepped back and held his hand out.

"They aren't afraid of their power like you are."

Sarai glared at him, standing. She didn't look at his hand, turning to the night gardens.

"Insults don't work as flattery won't.""I'm not trying to bed you Sarai. I'm trying to save you."

She turned to him, hands clenching at her sides.

"And I should trust you? You enslaved females, you keep one still by your side. Why should I think you're any different than all the males before you."

Brannon tilted his head, something slithered in those eyes.

"I was born a bastard, my mother died of a overdose when I was 3. My father was a high born Valg, he didn't care what happened to me. Your grandmother Lilith saved me. She raised me, taught me to embrace my nature."

He gestured to himself, to the legacy he'd cultivated.

"You hold her blood through Thanatos. I hate to see how they've declawed you Sarai. Let me return the favor and help you."

She stared at him, hearing her sister's laughter on the wind. Was this what Natalia and Maeve experienced? Random people pledging their support and resources to them for their blood?

Even her own uncle Uilleam hadn't bothered to send for when Maeve and Natalia went to his kingdom in Wendlyn.

She turned to the night gardens, walking deeper into the maze.

"I'm afraid of my magic, I have control -"

"I said your power not magic."

Sarai turned to him, Brannon stepped closer. He touched a night blooming jasmine. He held it out to her, she wasn't sure why she took it.

"Changelings had kingdoms once, we had Queens and Kings who ruled. My father wasn't one of them. He was a Prince though, when I got strong enough I tore his kingdom from him. I threw his body to the streets for the Lesser Dens to feed on."

He stepped closer, noting her disgust.

"Your nature, the blood mist, the deep well of rage in you - that's your power. You could make them all bend to you Sarai. You could have legions to your name like she did."

She turned away, holding the flower till it's thorns dug into her palm.

"I don't want to be feared. And I don't trust you."

"Fear is a motivator. Fear keeps people at arms length. But fine, what can I do to get you to trust me? Free Deanna?"

Sarai looked to him.

"Would you?"

Brannon rose an eyebrow at her.

"If my Queen asks me to I will. Ask it like a Queen Sarai."

Sarai titled her head, the lessons she'd overheard from Sive and Mala filtering through her mind.

She wasn't sure how she knew the correct words to say - but she did.

"Swear your soul to me Brannon. Swear your Den and your armies to my cause. Swear to me you will live to do my will alone."

He beamed, kneeling before her. He held his hand out, she gave him the flower. Her blood mixed with his as he tightened his grip around it.

He exhaled, and she felt it. The first link to a Den and a power she had never wanted. It soothed her in a way she didnt understand. She knew in her bones Brannon would do as she asked - he'd carry her will till his dying breath.

His eyes closed, the marks spiraling on his neck and down his body. He belonged, he finally belonged.

She understood then that Changelings like Theia suddenly. A Changeling female playing at Queen. She acted like she was the answer to changelings fear of loss. So much had been destroyed when Uilleam had locked the realms down. Changelings needed their Grand Dens, they needed direction and without their Conductors they would always feel a part of themselves missing.

She looked up to where Silba stood, she shone like a fallen star, flushing at something Lumas whispered in her ear.

She exhaled, Brannon's "erract" motivates made sense. He was trying to force a Queen, a conductor to give him in a direction where there was none.

"You will train Natalia, Maeve and I in our changeling magic. You will let Deanna go, let her live the life she wishes."

Brannon opened his eyes, taking a moment to focus on her.

"And if Deanna becomes a threat Tairi Amal?"

Queen Mother. Sarai rolled her shoulders, something in her unlocking. Several things did, she felt the nature around her thrumming with life. She felt the light of the moon on her shoulders. She touched his cheek, fingers running over the mark on his neck.

Undying loyalty is what he offered, an army and relief. Brannon was ruthless, they had an ally that would finally force Uilleam to take them seriously, take Theia seriously.

"Then you will rip her head off. And stop taunting Thurr and Mala, they are not our enemies."

He hummed, bowing his head.

"Yes, Tairi Amal."

------

"Sarai? Are you -"

Sarai brushed past Viren, he may have finally noticed her. But she was done focusing on children's fables. Brannon watched him from her shoulder. Viren frowned at the sudden pure white hawk on her shoulder. He jerked back when Brannon snapped his beak at him.

Sarai turned away, Brannon soared into one of the high rooms.

------

Maeve's lips thinned and she rose an eyebrow at Sarai.

"Are you sure this is the best idea?"

Sarai shrugged, stopping from glaring at Maeve. A wave of protectiveness for the one person who had looked to her when Maeve and Natalia were so much more powerful than her.

Brannon hissed in her head. He didn't choose weak Queens.

Sarai looked to Natalia and back to Maeve.

"No, but do we really want to have only the males connect to their changeling roots? We should be able connect to them as well - keep them in line."

It wasn’t a question of whether was it the best idea, but did she believe it was something that they could pull off? Natalia wasn’t as close to her changeling roots as her brother and mother were, and it seemed Sarai had a much stronger relationship with that side of herself than they were aware of.

“Would getting closer to those roots aid us?” Natalia finally asked. “I know the boys having that connection is hard, but would we be able to balance it? What happens if someone says we’re too one way?”

She needed to ensure this plan was fully thought out before she pledged herself to it, she believed in her friend and trusted her, but she needed to ensure everything was thought through.

[littlelambdrgnfly]

Ok since you reblogged that one post I hope you know I reread The Sum of Them for the 3rd time, maybe like a month ago, up until the last chapter and i never finished it cause i didnt want to experience it ending again (if that makes sense), i wish it never ended. I wish they could play baby games forever but its so important it does end because the ending is soo beautiful but so devastating, and it's beautiful because its so devastating, and my heart cant take experiencing that again :'-(

i already sent a message on here saying that your fic was the first fic to make me cry, possibly the first piece of LITERATURE in general to make me cry (i could be wrong but i cant remember any piece before that), and it made me cry 2 times when reading it for the first time. It is truly my favorite piece of McLennon fanfiction, but the only reason i dont fully consider it mine is that if someone were to ask me, it'd be too taboo/freaky to say but its truly one of the most heartfelt and complex ways ive ever seen anyone portray John and Paul while also feeling completely accurate and realistic. My god. And i love so many of your other fics too but The Sum of Them really means so much to me and I cant even say that enough. i wish you could just live as me and be inside my mind to fully grasp how much of an affect it had on me, I dont think i will ever be able to explain it sadly </3. But just know out of every McLennon fic ive ever read (and ive read many), THAT one is my very favorite out of like 100+. The way you characterize them is just so completely different from any other fic ive read and its so intimate and raw and holy shit i dont even have the words. Sorry i know im rambling at this point but I just think about it a lot! Also your fics are the only fics i enjoy anymore, (recent) beatles fics have gone down the drain in my opinion and yours are the only ones i can be satisfied with because, as far as im concerned, anything you write is automatically in-character for them after reading The Sum of Them lol x) thank you so SO much for writing cause it's truly exposed so many of my own desires and hidden , sensitive parts of myself that couldn't be excavated any other way without your work 💖

Dude... this is legitimately one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I wish I could memorize all of this and replay it for myself whenever I'm feeling blue. Thank you so so much, it means the world to me! I think all writers insert their own thoughts and emotions into their work, and I definitely do that in all of mine, but especially The Sum of Them. This fic is basically my wishlist of things I would do with a partner, as well as coming to better terms with my own kinks, so I'm glad it's been able to resonate with people. I'm also glad that I managed to keep John and Paul in character, even if John is crying every other paragraph lmao! I totally get what you're saying about wishing I could experience what you did, I wish I could too. Sometimes I reread my fics with the mindset of someone reading it for the first time, but it's just not the same. I'd give my left tit for more writers on my level or higher who wrote bottom!John or even ABDL fics, I swear. I don't read a lot of fics these days, but I'm usually disappointed whenever I check the Beatles tab. I'm also really really bad at remembering titles and author names, so I never remember what fics that I like! Thank God for bookmarks. I definitely understand not wanting to tell people that this is your favorite fic though, lol! I've been writing Beatles fics for a long time, but I created a new account on AO3 when I started writing these fics. I'm comfortable talking about this stuff, but only with the help of an alternate profile. I'm really really happy to help people explore this side of themselves though-- too often fics like mine are just really gross over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayals in my opinion, and I guess I wanted to bring something sweeter and more realistic to the table. <3

[tricorops]

#1 - *insert some sort of pretentious title *

welcome in ! here’s where everything starts…

i probably should have thought a bit more before starting this entry but alas. here we are ! i guess ill go chronologically so the story makes sense,, if i miss anythinging im positive futrure me will fill in the gaps, but my memory is pretty shit tbh.

Before we ~officially~ start i guess ill introduce myself. i have a name (as does everyone fucking duh) but ive recently realized i dont feel like my name is mine. cant really explan it exaclty right now but in the last couple of months, ive gotten really angry that people call me by name,, whose to know whyy /s. realistically it’s probably due to the fact that im not a woman and haven’t been for many years now. i think im just scared to really admit it ? like i really dont like who i am, i dont fit in, and im so fucking sad all the time but im scared to start exploring my gender identity for who knows what reason. if anyone knows, please enlighten me. im 25, single and have never had a parter, been on one failed date (yikes), and haven’t come out to my parents. big. oof yall. i have a job that is what i thought i wanted to do, but im second guessing it rn since there is so much im not able to address or even attempt to fix. FUN /s

cool intro down i guess. now to the beginning ish ?

my earliest memory is my mom feeling me smashed avocado, but apparently that never happened. im an only child who’s always wated a sibling. my childhood was very lonely. my parents essentially removed themselves from their families, so i didn’t grow up hanging out with cousins, grandparents, aunts/uncles, literally no one besides my 2 parents. the memories i have of my first house are fuzzy, but i feel like there were a lot of rooms for only 3 people. i lived on a quiet street with lots of families with children of different ages, but i dont have any memories of playing with kids on my street or going to anyone’s house for playdates and what not. not sure why.

i remember when i was really little (maybe like 4 or 5 ish??) we went on a trip to disneyland. i think we flew there instead of driving. one of the days my mom was putting my shoes on— they were brown winnie the pooh sandals with buckles at the ankle and i had this weird feeling. it felt like i was in a dream like i was maybe lucid dreamis sort of? and i had this weird oedipus complex for my mom. like i saw how much my dad loved her and i wanted that,, its odd nw that im reflecting on it and i know many people go through this stage of development but like why did 4 year old me think i could love and care for my mom the same way my dad did ?? fucking kid lol. anyway perhaps this is graphic but whatever. i remember i was on the edge of the bed and she was sitting on a chair she pulled up across from me. my foot was between he legs so she could buckle the strap on my shoe and my brain just told me to push my foot closer to her? idk idk. but i push my foot closer to her and like tapped it and i remeber feeling hmm like giddy ? like i was so happy i had done that and then i went to do it again and my mom had like thrown my foot off the chair and started yelling at me. rightfully so like totally not ok for a 4 year old to try and arouse their parent. but in that moment i went from being so fucking giddy and happy and almost proud to feeling so fucking ashamed and unloved. and as she was yelling at me i just cried and cried and i remember just not even wanting to go to disneyland anymore because i didnt want to be around my mom. wild. everything in my little world felt so fucking big that my parent telling me not to do somthing inappropriate made me not want to do the fucking disneyland run anymore.

i dont know what came out of the rest of the day but we Must have gone to disney or soemthing. now, you maay be thinking “oh getting yelled at for doing something made you not do it again” right? wrong. my dumb fucking pea brain wanted to chase that feeling agian so the next fucking day when my shoes were getting put on i tried to do it again. there wasnt any yelling that time though. i just remember my leg getting pushed again, my name being said sharply, and my mom telling me to put my shoes on by myself or to not wear shoes at all. and what do you think little me felt? disppointment, guilt, ashamed. all to be expected but it hit my world hard (again 4 years old. every little thing feels like the world is crashing).

how does this relate to the present? i dont fucking know but i might figure it out along the line. anywho theres other things i remember from this age of my life but they don’t really fit the theme im trying to follow so i wont bore yall with the extra details. didnt think this one would be so long but here we are. i cant wait for the highschool installments bc those are FOR SURE going to make me cry hahahahahahahahaha strap in.

on the dockett for next time: elementary school. probaly around 2nd or 3rd grade. little preview— the first time i was called a lesbian (derogatory) and, upon reflection, my first crush phew 😮‍💨

ps. i know there are probably spelling mistakes and im not following any grammar rules. stream of consciousness yall. cant really blame me plus its uhhh 3 am here so yall are already know whats up.

[rivthewriter]

For the WIP ask game, I'm really intrigued by "The land of the tender incident" (sounds like TGFC and HuaLian?? Maybe smut?!) and "The Untold Story".

Please enlighten me as to what these are about 😍🙏🏼😊

Hi hi! I'm so glad you chose these two! And thank you for asking! I completely forgot The Land Of The Tender Incident was listed in there tbh, and no worries of getting the name mixed up (I saw your other ask <3) I do that too, especially with the titles of my own works. it is indeed tgcf but, instead of hualian, its Mu Qing and Feng Xin, because im a little goober who loves the 'angsty cat type guy falls for the dog type guy he keeps hissing at' tropes, its not written too far, in all honesty idk if it'll ever even see the light of day (and it def wont remain that title. its just titled that so i remember what fandom its from lmao) But its around post tgcf, where the two of them have to investigate claims of some form of unrest just within the boundaries of both of their domains, They're arguing the *whole time* and end up not paying attention to whats going on around them (cuz they're too busy butting heads), and MQ ends up accidentally disturbing the beginning blooms of the land of tender, and it sends this, pollen/scent into the air (as it does) and the rest goes on from there >:3 The event leads MQ to accidentally letting it slip that just maybe he liked FX for quite a long time but always had a hard time accepting it or showing it because their rivalry was.. *fun* for him. They both knew how to get under eachother's skin after all.. and hey, even though they fight all the time they did seem to get along besides it.. for the most part.. I'm unsure if i want the smut to be during that incident or shortly after because i want to milk the angst and frustration aspect of it >:3 If i had to give a sneak peek.. well I leave you with this short section (which one day may be slightly adjusted since i wrote this at like. 4 am):

"...His Highness dealt with this before and made it through it without doing anything too.. strange.. you can make it through this too" Feng Xin replied, glancing at the other martial god, the light was starting to go down, casting shadows into the run-down building, they were lucky to have found it... despite the circumstances.

"He stabbed himself in the stomach with a sword to keep himself from breaking his cultivation. I'm not about to do that. My cultivation matters but for fucks sake I'm not that insa-" Mu Qing got cut off by a sharp shudder running through him "Insane." he finished, gritting his teeth.

And onto A Tale Untold! <3 A Tale Untold is a wip for Fragile Dreams, which is an older wii game that not many people know about. It takes place after the story of the game, years down the road, when Seto, the protagonist, stumbles upon a man suspended in a preservation tank, he then manages to release the man, and discovered that this stranger has no memory of how he got in there, why, or even what his name was. So, he dubbed the stranger 'Starling' and promised to help him recover his past. Chapter one is up on my ao3 (thankfully i beat the writers block for that chapter) and chapter two is in the works, its a sorta fix-it future fic where i decided "yknow what. this character didnt need to die in canon. im bringing him back and no one can stop me" I will say, this one is one of my favorites to just, sit down and brainstorm for. though if you ask my friends on discord you will find that I've had like, thorough discussions about "is this ethical? what about this? does the science behind this make any sense?" as if this isn't just a silly goofy fanfic im writing for the hell of it lmao

And i will give you a small sneak peek at chapter two! (and of course, it is subject to change, im constantly rewriting my stuff) :

Starling’s behavior stressed Seto out beyond measure, he was constantly worried Starling would fall and injure himself, or come face to face with some rabid, stray animal. But stress wasn’t the only feeling that had been bubbling in Seto. An odd sense of familiarity was building, each time he would chance a glance at Starling he would see a familiar flash of a multi-color coat, a yellow scarf.. It would make Seto pause for a moment, chest tightening. He didn’t really know why Starling reminded him of the friend he had forgotten.. The one who gave him the ring he couldn't bear to part with for even a second. Perhaps it was their happy-go-lucky natures that seemed similar.. Or their thrill-seeking behavior..  Starling and Crow were just.. *so* similar.

[lee-minhoe]

mel my love hi !!! it´s been a bit so sorry for taking so long to answer uni has been high key killing me ahdsjk. hope you´ve been well though !! sending you all the good vibes and hugs ! <3

'it didnt help that he was also in a sleeveless shirt for part of it and with the bw cap, thats one of my many weaknesses' SAME SAME LITERALLY ME.

and i know !!!! min with cats is truly one of the most healing things :(

and yes i did! watching that truly was an experience! i remember watching and seeing lix and min get eliminated and my heart just broke for them tbh my god. and the lix and chan part !!!!!!! forever crushes my soul. (also i tried to watch that video but literally had to pause after five seconds because i couldnt handle it ahfdjskg)

aaaaah dance teacher minho my beloved '(as if all the genres of lino arent my fav!!)' adshjf same again !! you truly truly get it mel <3. there's just something so soft about it! :(

and im glad to hear you've had fun getting into them ! 'felt like i was going insane when i first got into skz because their music is SO GOOD i was listening to it 24/7 and constantly had random parts of songs stuck in my head throughout the day LOL' ahjdskf valid !! was there a certain song/album that made you really get into them? or !! wait was case 143 your first comeback then? (i have no sense of time sorry asdkf) how'd you like the album? any faves? (i feel like you're going to say taste but besides that one agfdjkg)

and lix and jeongin !! i'll keep that in mind *eyes emoji*

also !!! omg you saw them at kcon how fun!!! idk who else was there but i hope you had a great time <3

and mark !! i actually love nct as well and mark is so beloved to me !! totally get you ! any other groups beside nct and skz you're into? i like a lot of groups so i'd love to know feel free to share !

also i may or may not have checked out all the fancam recs and !!!! A++++++ truly tyvm <3. like i said i never really watch them but this was so fun ! also because he's so silly before the song starts and then gets all serious when they perform and the contrast is just so hilarious like i was crying laughing at the domino one. man is just grabbing butts left and right ahjkhjdshfjk. but also all of the fits are so good my god. he truly is the prettiest *sigh*

anyways, i feel like this has gotten too long im so sorry !! wishing you a lovely day/night beloved !

-🌻 

santaa ur back i missed you!!

i remember the struggles of my uni days so i totally get it 😭 is it finals season right now? you got this <3 fighting!!

as for which album got me into skz, i remember i listened to the whole noeasy album straight through and i was like wow this album was literally no skips for me, maybe i gotta learn more about them?? and now the rest is history hahahaha. i also just really love a lot of their title tracks especially the ones like all in, miroh, and gods menu that are so hype (i had the DDU DDU DDU DDU DDU DDU part stuck in my head a lot when i was listening to skz music nonstop 😂 love that part). it's funny because i remember i tried listening to some skz music when i got into kpop in 2020, and i was like idk if this is for me....and now almost 3 years later i'm like THIS IS MY TYPE OF MUSIC LOL i love the noise music <3

case143 was kiiind of my first cb?? but not really in the sense that i wasn't anticipating it, since i was just learning about them when the album dropped (i fully got into skz like a few days before lino's birthday 😂 so that was good timing i guess since he ended up being my bias (and dare i say now...one of my ults....👀))

also LOL THE WAY YOU CORRECTLY GUESSED that my fav track on the maxident album is taste....ok but hear me out, besides the fact that lino is in it and the choreo is....the choreo (lol), i also love lino's falsetto in it (the "don't make me bad i'm addicted to you" asdjfhak i want to hear him sing more!! i think he has such a sweet voice 🥺) and the way that the song slowly builds up and then drops at the chorus with the beat! give me your tmi is my 2nd fav track on the album i think though

MAAAARK IS MY BELOVED I LOVE HIM :(((( i started off in kpop as an nct fan, and i have been slowly collecting more groups and i'm becoming a multi mess hahaha. besides nct and skz, i also like txt (soobin is my bias but i love all of the boys a lot <33 it was so hard to pick a bias); nine.i (a rookie group i discovered recently whose music IS SO GOOD??? one of their members produces the songs too i think and i highly recommend listening if you haven't heard of them - young boy and wasted youth are my favs but their whole discography is no skips for me); day6, p1h, svt, enhypen (in varying degrees of familiarity lol), and i also like kbands like xdh, nflying, the rose (i mostly listen to their songs and dont really know all their names but ONE DAY!). i'm mainly a bg stan, i dont have anything against ggs but i usually listen to their music and dont know their names lol (currently obsessed with stayc's songs). what groups do you like? :D

also im glad you enjoyed the lino fancams LOL (no shame here, i am the one who listed 12724 fancams after all jsahdfka) i love how he is so silly on stage and seems to truly enjoy it!! i always laugh at the thunderous fancams where his hand slowly slides down to changbins butt hahahaha. also i discovered this gods menu lino fancam today which i must share because it is insane and he went so hard especially in the chorus, i love how he really commits to all the moves and has so much power yet control in them. and yes, all his fits are amazing ugh he is sososo gorgeous

this also got really long so dont worry about it haha it just means we're having a good convo :)) hope you have a lovely day/night as well <33

[cnderyne]

Your Happy Ending.

Summary: You have your happy ending with Diluc. He was there to mend what Kaeya destroyed. It isnt the ending Kaeya wants.

Part 2 of He Was Supposed To Be Yours.

Part 3: You Were Supposed To Be His

Genre: fluff and a bit of angst.

Pairing: Diluc x Reader (fluff) Kaeya x Reader (angst and very little of the pair)

Warnings: like one swear word and it is kinda long

Word Count: 1,325

A/N: Thank you @reveltica for requesting a part 2 and thank you @imnikki for the idea :D. I... may have went a bit to overboard on the relationship with Diluc so no jealous Kaeya is in this but I promise I will do a part 3 of this v soon. I also changed the title of part 1 to 2nd person bc it really didnt fit. Anyways, thank you for reading <33

You never actually had such a malicious intention to break Kaeya using his brother and you still don't. Even through all the torment and emotionally abusive things Kaeya has done to you, using an innocent person is unfathomable to you. Diluc managed to hurt Kaeya because he wanted to court you. I'll give an overview of how you got to the point of a relationship. 

After you saw what Kaeya did, you avoided him. There was no dramatic fight nor was there any confrontation about what you witnessed. He just… stopped being in your life. Of course you needed to let him know you guys were over so you opted to just send him a letter that you wrote while drinking at Angel's Share. 

Dear Kaeya,

I knew you never wanted me so I will let you go. I hope you are happier with Traveler. 

Y/N xx

Those kisses were meaningless and you hoped he would see the humour in that last sentence. Tears still welled up as you wrote that. Emotions were hard to get rid off after all. Diluc saw this. Everytime you entered the Tavern, his eyes lingered on your graceful figure but always lowered his gaze whenever you would run into Kaeya's arms. Diluc was conflicted at the time. How dare he hold feelings for you while his brother held you. That feeling never left after seeing you hiding from Kaeya whenever you were both in the bar. I mean, you were his brother's ex. Oh but how he wanted to indulge in a relationship with you. 

That all changed one week. Kaeya was out on a mission for a week so you allowed yourself to meander around Mondstadt with finally a genuine smile on your glowing face. The townspeople, who knew of the situation, were affected by your change in mood and soon, the whole town of Mondstadt shared a similar feeling. 

A night alone at your house felt lovely but now you could roam around, so you decided to go to the tavern to waste all your money on alcohol. You seated yourself at the bar so you could get your drinks quicker. This was something you never did and Diluc realised that. He was aware of his brother's absence and was rather grateful because he got to see the gorgeous smile you rarely showed after the break up. It really suited your face and he couldn't help but fall for you again. This time there weren't any problems with his feelings. 

"Hi Diluc! May I have a glass of dandelion wine?" Your energetic voice filled his ears, soothing him like a melody Venti would play. You noticed his… dazed look so you called out to him. His eyes widened a bit and began to process your request.

"Sorry. Let me get that for you." When he turned to prepare your drink, a dust of pink covered his cheeks. Diluc gave you the drink, with a bit of fumbling. You took a sip of the wine and the refreshing taste cleansed your palate. The drink dwindled and but there was still a craving for more. After a lot few glasses, your speech started to slightly slur and you that familiar lightheaded feeling comes that happenes everytime you drink. However, there is warmth surrounding you instead of that empty and icy feeling that always hurts.

"Aaah Diluc, your drinks are always the best. You're just what I need," you looked up at him and was met with an averted gaze on flustered face. You continued to praise him, "Diluc, I am being serious. I really like being around you. It makes me feel so warm and comforting. Are you my panacea or something?"

"I-I think you've drunk a bit too much." Diluc slipped the glass out of your grasp and placed it behind him, while you were frowning and holding his arm to get it back.

"Please let me have one more drink," You begged and gave his arm a little squeeze. This resulted in you stating, "Oh my! How big are your muscles? Sheesh, you're so strong!" An innocently intended question made Diluc jolt his arm back and the colour of his faced matched his hair. Startled by his sudden movements you immediately apologised. You may have been drunk but you still knew when you messed up.

"It's not your fault. I was just... surprised what you said and if you keep drinking, you won't be able to walk back home."

"Then you can walk me home. If that is okay with you that is." He informed you that it will be really late by the time he can walk you home. You responded with, "It's okay. I can wait for you."

And so, you and Diluc got closer than ever. The conversations shared that night flowed with ease.

The walk home was filled with laughter and subtle glances. The night air felt uncomfortable on your skin as goosebumps were raised to keep your body warm despite Diluc feeling like a portable heater next to you. Diluc saw your hands rubbing your bare arms in attempt to gain heat so he plopped his large coat onto you. The smell of alcohol and sweat invaded your senses but it wasn't as bad of a smell as you would think. You nestled into the oversized coat and wished you could stay in it forever.

"My apologies that it doesn't smell good."

"Don't worry about it. It smells homely and your coat is really comfy." He let out a light chuckle and you continued the conversation.

You told him the story of how you once got your ass handed to you by a whopper flower. An embarrassing yet humorous tale. The dim street lights eluminated Diluc's face to bless your eyes with his tender smile, obviously smiling at your ridiculous telling of the story. In return, he told you “one of many” stories he has about things that happened while he was working at the Tavern. As that story came to a close, you were at the doorstep of you house.

"Thank you for walking me home! I had a lovely time with you today. Here is your coat back." Taking it off, your body was exposed to the chilling air, which made you shiver slightly. It was a shame you had to take it off. It was really fun to wear.

"I hope it was able to keep you warm," Diluc took it into his hands and put the coat back on him. "If it is okay with you, can I take you on a date?"

"Only if you give me a hug." You attempted to be playful only resulted in you wanting to die of embarrassment more than when you told that story. However, Diluc immediately embraced you. He didn't want to miss the opportunity to hug you and get a date with you. The hug was unlike any other. You relaxed into his hug absorbing the heat he emitted. His hand was carefully placed your waist and the back of your head. He curled up around you and held you close, as if you were about to leave him for good. You decided that the hug would definitely happen again.

His embrace weakened but was still unwilling to let go. Soon after, he withdrew himself from the hug. "I'll pick you up at 6." With that, he walked away.

Despite how reserved he is, Diluc was very good company that night. He was also very good company for the following days that soon turned into weeks.

You hopelessly and utterly fell for the red head that brought you the company you craved. Unlike how you begged Kaeya for attention, with Diluc, it felt healthy. It felt right. You got your happy ending with Diluc and you are happier than ever with him.

However, Kaeya found out that you and Diluc. Needless to say, he wanted his "doll" back.