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#i didnt want to tell everyone i wouldnt be there
rocknroll7575 · 2 days
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The Lonely Arc
Nora watched as Jaune sat away from everyone, away from all of their friends and allies, and away from all the noise, he was simply looking at the night sky and the stars that came with it.
She knew why he was alone, why he was away from all the happy people... because they all had someone, even her.
Jaune, meanwhile, had given up his love, his dreams of a future and a family, for them...
"Do you love him?" Nora asked her.
Gillian looked up at Nora with sad amethyst eyes. "I do..." she began. Gillian then looked down as she sniffled. "Please don't take him away from me..."
Nora eyes widened with shock before she became confused, "What do you mean?" She asked.
"He love you all, he do anything for you, he'd give up everything if you or Ren, or that Ruby girl told him to stay away from me, that it wouldn't be safe or right to love someone like me... You can do it, you know that don't you? All you have to do is say the words and he'd never see me again..."
Nora was taken aback by Gillians words, "Jaune... Jaune wouldnt do that..."
Gillian nodded, "He would," She replied. "He doesnt care about his own happiness, only thise around him, you know that, you've seen it, he took that mission to be undercover to protect Ren, he didnt care if he branded himself a traitor, or if Ren or you hated him, as long as you were safe and happy, he would be fine... know I've never given you any reason not to do it, but please don't do that to me... don't take him away from me..." Gillian told Nora, as tears finally fell from amethyst eyes.
Nora walked up to Jaune, and stood next to him, "Hey," she greeted.
Jaune seem to jump a little as he turned to face her, a small and soft smile on his lips, "Hey, Nora," He greeted back.
"Are you alright?" She asked.
"I'm..." He began. He took a deep breath in before letting out a heavy sigh, "I'm fine," He said.
Those words struck Nora's heart like a knife and she could feel that Jaune said those words with such sadness that it could be mistaken as the final words of a man who would never see a loved one again.
"You should go to her," Nora told him
Jaune's head snapped to her, "what?" He asked with a confused and shocked tone.
"Gillian," Nora said. "Go to her, see her, tell her... tell her you love her Jaune, and that no matter what, you won't leave her,"
Jaune’s eyes looked at her with worry, "But what about-"
Nora set her hand on his shoulder, stopping him from finishing his sentence as she looked at him with a gentle smile. "I'll support you, I'll back you up when it comes to her and you, so go to her, and don't think about what the others will say or want... just do what you feel is right in your heart," she told him.
Jaune was shocked, "Nora... why?" he asked.
Nora's gentle smile didn't waver, "Because you deserve to be happy, Jaune," She said
Jaune's expression turned sad, and without a moment of hesitation, brought her into a hug, which at first, shocked her for a few seconds, but she reciprocated it.
At that moment, Jaune had regained his sister, and Nora got her brother back.
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wonder2realities · 2 days
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having trouble with manifesting physical results?
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when it comes to manifestation, i feel like everyone acts like theres a limit and usually that limit revolves around physical changes. "you cant lose weight unless you work out AND listen to subliminals, you have to put in the work!!!" — what if i were to tell you that you can manifest literally any physical change without even moving? you probably wouldnt believe me because of the idea that you need to "work" to earn something...and yet with all of the physical changes i've manifested, i havent "worked" for anything. how? here's a little list of the rules i stick by !
1. SHAMELESSNESS IS KEY!
i'm someone who gets embarrassed very easily, over the smallest things but when it comes to manifesting anything...you gotta be shameless. yes i am waking up with a BBL and a 2-inch waist, what about it. you can pull up to my house, with scientific evidence of how thats not possible but idc cuz its happening. infact, it ALREADY happened "but you look the same" idc it still happened. like literally, no matter what its happening and its happened and it will happen ; whether it be past future or present point is ITS THERE.
2. YOU ARE ENERGY, NOT YOUR BODY
this ones a bit hard to word out but essentially, your physical body doesnt make up what you are. meaning, you can view yourself as this ball of energy that can be stretched and pulled out and morphed into everything and anything.
so lets say you want a symmetrical face :
1. dont go overanalysing your face, just sit down & take it easy
2. think of how your symmetrical face that youve always had. i mean you could honestly be a model, your facial structure is amazing. and just allow yourself to sink into those thoughts, whether its through you repeating affirmations or through subliminals — let it all sink in that your face is symmetrical. having doubtful thoughts? let them fly past, dont cling onto them. just allow yourself to sink deeper into the fact that your face is perfectly symmetrical.
3. acknowledge it and live with it. dont go eyeing your mirror and reflection every 2 seconds, dont go panicking and repeating affirmations nonstop and stressing...just acknowledge it and go on with your day.
^ its that easy. you dont need to even see your physical body morphing into it, the point is that you are able to morph and change into whatever you wish because you are not limited to your physical body.
3. NO OVERCOMPLICATIONS
you dont need to do a 40 minute workout to make sure you get results, you dont need to drink 3L of water, you dont need to write down 500 affirmations, you dont need to do a 20step skincare routine if you want to make sure you get clear skin...if you want to do these things, do them as much as you wish to. do you have to? no.
when i was younger, i got a bad injury and because of that one of my cheekbones were larger than the other — through manifestation they look identical now. like as in, if i were to tell you the injury i got into and said "my cheekbone was larger and there was a huge line under it" youd think i was making it up (sidenote : i had to show someone my passport photo from when i was like 8 to prove that i had that injury 😭 CUZ THEY DIDNT BELIEVE ME.) and mind you, i didnt even have a routine - my routine was literally just playing cute subliminals , vibing to the music and then going to sleep. i promise you, you dont need to do any form of "work" to get what you desire.
4. GO WITH YOUR GUT
probably the most important thing i stick by, i always go with my gut. meaning, if i feel like i can listen to a 5 second subliminal and i got it - i leave it there. i dont force anything, i dont push myself into anything and i dont do anything that someone else does if it doesnt vibe well with me. (this also means if youre reading this and going "this doesnt really work with me" - thatll be better than you forcing yourself to follow these rules just because these have worked for me). you need to always remember that when it comes to manifesting things, your preference comes first. so, if you wanna run 5 miles and that helps you believe that you have gotten your desires - do it.
5. DONT LET OTHERS GET TO YOU
if youre minding your business and youre talking abt your desires and someone goes "erm...🤓👆🏽 thats...not possible" - instead of secondguessing yourself literally ignore them. the concept of whats possible and whats real all boils down to what you BELIEVE is possible/real. the only reason something could not be possible or not be real is you believe it isnt, or you letting someone else who doesnt believe in it take over your beliefs (obviously this specifically applies to manifestation and not things that are tied to disorders or any form of unhealthy thinking. dont take my words out of this context.)
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and thats all ! obviously i have other parts of my mindset that arent mentioned here that help me manifest faster and easier but it would take too long for me to get into everything </3 but consider these my 5 golden rules that will hopefully help anyone whos struggling with physical results.
rmbr that you are forever limitless & changing ★
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bunnysre · 16 hours
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In My Feelings | Abby Anderson ( Dream II/ ? )
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Word Count // 0.7k Pt.1
Warnings - Angst. kissing. Pining. Owen
NOT PROOFREAD DAILY CLICK
You felt the sun beam on your face as you slowly opened your eyes. It had been a week since you and Abby’s friendship had been broken off. You felt the memories of Abby everywhere you looked and to say it had taken a toll on you was an understatement. You hadn’t talked to anyone. To say everyone was worried about you would be true. Everywhere you went, Looks of pity would be thrown your way. You felt heartbroken. And nothing could change that.
You wished you could call her, tell her how much you missed having her around. But she has a boyfriend. And by now, she was surely infuriated with the thought of you.
You felt the pain as you thought about Abby. How she would’ve been at your door by now. Waiting to go on patrol with you. A warm smile painted on her face. But things had changed.  You knew she wouldnt show up at the door any time soon. You missed her. But all remember what she had said to you that night. The look of anger on her face. The way she accused you of trying to ruin her relationship. It took a toll on your mental health. You wouldn’t forget it anytime soon.
After you had gotten ready you headed to sign in for patrol. After signing, you turned around expecting manny , your patrol partner to be behind you. But you didnt expect  to see Abby staring at you from afar. But she didn’t  have that angry look on her face since the last time you saw her.  Instead there was a face of sympathy. You felt your stomach turn as you glared into her eyes.  Breaking eye contact you  walked away, your back towards abby. 
Nothing felt really anymore. It was just a loop everyday. You’d wake up , get ready , get to patrol , and go to bed. It was the same thing every day. Atleast in your eyes. But to today , today was different. When you got back from patrol , you immediately saw  Abby. Standing there with that look on her face. The look of guilt and sorrow. You quickly made eye contact with her then looked away. You were everything but happy to see her. And you knew Abby could tell.
After you got out of the truck, you felt tired. Wanting to  eat and head to sleep. You quickly walked into a tent which seemed empty. You heard the zipper open and close. Turning around, you looked to see the face of Abby. It felt time freeze as you looked into Abby’s eyes. 
“What do you want?” You spoke in a low voice , careful so nobody would hear you. God you missed everything about her , her face , her scent . But you were soon snapped put of your thoughts as you saw Abby moving closer. Eventually pressing her lips on yours 
‘This had to be a dream.’ you thought. You felt like you were drifting into another universe. But your thoughts were interrupted by another one. 
‘What about Owen?’.  by the time the kiss broke , Abby had said everything you needed to know.  
“Don’t worry about him, just focus on me kay?”
No way was this real. You felt her lips plant small kisses your neck. What was she doing?
Abby was making you feel amazing But at the same time you felt guilty. You knew you had to stop this. Abby had a boyfriend, and you didn’t want to ruin that. You pulled away farther from Abby. And soon enough Owen had stepped into the tent. When he saw me with Abby he grew more furious than before. He quickly grabbed Abby’s arm dragging her out of the tent with him. 
“Why are you with her? Didn’t we talk about this? I thought you told me you wouldn’t be friends with her , what about that? Did you lie?” He began rambling on as he dragged Abby further away from the tent. 
He was obviously angry and I mean who wouldn’t be. I just felt lucky he didn’t see  anything me and Abby had done, or else many more words would’ve been exchanged.
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idontknowiknow · 2 years
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Hate when several disorganised uncommunicative people have to organise and communicate together and then do a bad job and everybody makes each other feel bad
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carnivalcarrion · 9 months
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why didn't anyone tell me that Hannibal is a comedy
#its absolutely Absurd lmfao#'you wouldnt like me psychoanalyzed' SIR????????#what is he??? autistic hulk??? s i r ?????#i really didnt expect them to reveal Yeah Hannibal is The Cannibal literally in his first appearance#i thought it was gonna be like... Hinted at... maybe the reveal is in the season finale or a later season#NOPE. they were immediately like 'yeah heres our main villain. hes a therapist. everyone likes him. hes so sus but no one picks up on it'#and then. fuckin. will didn't make it One Episode before eating human meat#will describing the 'copycat' killer's work as Art etc & then we cut to hannibal smiling at this description#motherfucker isnt slick. this is hysterical#every five minutes theres a reference to the copycat or cannibals or whatever#and immediately theres a shot of hannibal standing off to the side like 🧍#HES SO FUNNY AND FOR WHAT#absolutely unprompted#god and hannibal. like. bringing link sausages to feed will's dogs. what in the cartoony ass villain fuckery is this#its Also funny how like three different people - including hannibal - are trying to rizz up will#so far the only one actively succeeding from what i can tell is hannibal#and then - then fuckin. will is all like 'i feel responsible for abigail 🥺' and lowkey hinting that he wants to take care of her#smash cut to hannibal making her his murder kid. the fuck. hes so transparent#hannibal 'abigail is a bit like both of us<3' lecter#and him continuously having dinner with jack and jack being like Ohhhh This Dinner Is So Good Whats The Meat#hannibal: *suspicious pause* rabbit#theres just so many funny moments from all of the characters#all functionally unintentional. but still. love this show#i was gonna finish naruto or watch warrior nun but fuck!!! didnt do that!!! watching the gay subtext cannibal show!#literally in the first ep when will was like 'this guy is killing and eating women bc he loves them' i was Immediately like#ohhhh so this is like A Killer Per Episode show. bc theres no way thats hannibal lmfao#also jack and wills dynamic... jacks like 'this is my special little guy <3' and then points to will whos huddled shaking in the corner#this show is so entertaining. i expected it to be boring. its fuckin weird and i Like It#i hope it gets sooooo fucked up. cant wait for hannibal to really lean into the manipulation to convert will to Murderism. its already begu
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good-beanswrites · 14 days
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Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.
Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!
Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...
I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm
Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.
Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.
“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.
She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store. 
Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore. 
“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.
It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”
She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath. 
Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.
She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.
Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her. 
So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death. 
“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno. 
“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying. 
At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”
Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.
“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”
The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.
But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.
Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well? 
At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe. 
“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”
#milgram#mahiru shiina#yuno kashiki#amane and fuuta mentioned#i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂#oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk#i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that#anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0#drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result#i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together#the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices#im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd#i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything --#i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared#but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off#not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky#i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person...#i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon#and *shes* the odd one out for craving company#then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else#i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...?#AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃#*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit*#drabbles
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hella1975 · 7 months
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just full force threw a shoe at my sister's face and when my mum got me alone after she was like 'you shouldn't clobber her. but i get it' 😭
#it kicked off today but in my defence she's actually proper in the wrong this time even my DAD called her a bitch and my mum is FUMING#baso my sister came into my work with her mate when i was closing the other day and all the staff GLARED at them bc of aforementioned#close so i was being v chill so everyone 1) knew it was my sister and not some customer coming in late and 2) her friend wouldnt be uncomfy#like that's the real kicker her i was being extra laid back FOR her friend so he'd feel more at ease. and one thing about me is yes ive#said countless times i have a rural accent but my mum also raised me to know when and how to speak nice if need be bc people are cunts here#so when im waitressing i speak nicely bc it's a stuck up restaurant w stuck up customers but when im with my sister? making a point of#being laid back? my normal accent came through. and her mate when i was gone said i sounded 'really [from the county we live in]'#which WOULD NOT BE A COMPLIMENT. it's baso saying 'your sister sounds local and chavy' without using such explosive words#and my sister LET HIM SAY IT. SHE DIDNT DEFEND ME. and she told my mum about it later bc SHE THOUGHT SHE'D TELL ME OFF#LIKE SHE DID IT TO SNITCH. THERE WAS NO SCENARIO WHERE MY SISTER WASNT BEING A CUNT. and my mum hit the ROOF#one thing she's rlly been big on is loyalty bc it's always been the 3 of us so when she found out my sister let him say that she FLIPPED#and this all happened last night and i only found out this morning bc i overheard them screaming at each other and turns out my mum#tried to keep it from me bc she didnt want my feelings hurt and IM pissed bc it actually did hurt more than i thought it would#like i KNOW what people say about my accent but it's a guy i know? my sister's been friends w him for years? i was being nice?#it's EMBARRASSING like i was clueless & friendly and turned around for him to be like 'look at this stupid local girl' like??#and my sister did NOTHING? it just sucks so i STORMED upstairs when i found out and had it out with my sister#and she knew she was fucked so she did all 'im not talking to you i have nothing to say' AND PUT HER EARPHONES IN?#the way i RIPPED them out. got in her face like okay girl u think i sound like a chav ill act like a chav lets GO#and it just got really aggressive and i wound up grabbing HER OWN SANDAL and full force hurling it at her face 😭 oops#from close range too like i was already in her face so i basically just smacked her with a sandal DSHGJKSH#now we're sat in silence bc alas we still share a room. WHAT the fuck. insane tbh but it's a bit funny. im so angry rn i could KILL#hella goes home
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bulldyke-rider · 8 months
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I hate how people will encourage you to do something and then when you experience a bunch of complications and uncomfortable shit, they're just like "yeah, that happens"
Like WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME
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hoodienanami · 5 months
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ppl on this site will be like 'the sex pistols were soooo mean and evil and terrible so theyre not punk!!!' and then worship bad brains
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hearties-circus · 2 months
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Oh g-d I've been withdrawing
#gamer txt.#i keep typong up posts and tags and delstinv them withoit thinking too much about it recentlu but k never usually dp that#theyve all been needy and attention seeking and thats why i was eriting them in the first place but thats ehy i keep deleting them#because i want attention#and that scares tge hell out of me#how bad do i have to be to be this desperate for some sort of contact yet this scared of losing everyone eho moght give it to me#why am u rhis scared of people thinking im annoying ive been feleting needy posts for months thats not . like me#even when im bad im usually better than that i dont. i dont understand ahy this is different#hell i relapsed a few months ago and i couldnt bring myself to even say i cut myself again outright bc i didnt want to be bother#since when the hell have i put up the illusion of being ok on this blog why am i so comcerned#are my trust issues really that bad? am i really that worried everyone who cares about me will fold the second i inconveniene them?#g-d thats. yeah fuck no wonder my friends were insulted when i gave them a 6/10 for 'ppl i would talk to if i had issues'#that is insulting#and whats worse is that its a lie#6/10 should be over half i should tell them my problems about half of the time#i dont do it. ever#and usually thats not too bad because i unload wverything here anyways but now ive stsrted stopping kyself frkm doi g thst#i want help and attention and to stop being so svared but im too scared to ask for those#i had to drag myself out of bed to make rhis post bc if i left it till morning i wouldnt do kt#also thats why all the typos btw no glssses its dark and i stsrted crying at some point#i dont know if its just how ive been feeling lateky or if theres some truth to it but i feel like my text posts have been getting seen less#im honestly kinda really twrrified im gonna wake up and no one will have seen this post and im just gonna pretend to be ok#bevause i would i think i would really just give up#i dont know what gl do#ive never been this scaredwithout a discernable cause before#ive stsrted cryung way harder andb u dont even know why#i think i think thats more or lees everything off my chest#im gonna try to sleep
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wonder2realities · 3 days
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the importance of self-trust in shifting.
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when i first got into shifting, i relied a lot on shifttok but also on ppl who had shifted - id practically worship them and treat them like they were my mentors but that put me in such a vulnerable state that i ended up getting hurt from it.
there was this experienced shifter who id talk to, and they even said theyd help me with spirituality advice and such so i listened to them but nothing they were saying resonated...at all. no matter the topic, no matter how "factual" they pushed it as ; it wasnt resonating and i couldnt relate to it but since they had shifted i assumed that i was the problem.
"if they shifted theyd know better than me, what would i know? i know nothing." — this was my mindset for a year and it stunted me...heavily. i felt like i was this stupid newbie to this and i had to do everything an experienced shifter would tell me but again - that ended up stabbing me in the back because that experienced shifter was a horrible person to me and it got to a point where my mental health plummetted. i thought to myself that it was all over for me, i let go of someone who (in my eyes) knew everything even if they were horrible to me.
id meditate daily, clearing my head out to try and figure out what i should do because i knew shifting was real but i kept feeling as if i couldnt shift...like i was the problem. it wasnt until i had a moment to myself where i realised that my only problem was that i didnt trust myself.
i went out of my way to believe everyone and anyone but not myself, i believed that others would know me better than i do when in reality - id know what makes me shift or not because i am me. i know what annoys me, what would help me relax, what would help me think and connect with my drs so much better than someone who couldve known me since i was born because i FEEL these things.
and after i had that realisation and understood my power and understood that i was never a problem, i kept shifting and manifesting like it was nothing. i kept getting things i wanted in my cr, i kept going to different realities - even when i didnt shift for whatever reason i was fine. i never got mad at myself, i never blamed myself, i simply just let it go and went on with my day. if i wanted to stay in my cr for something important that i wanted to experience, id script out my day mentally and it would follow that script. not because i followed something, or because i learnt something new but because i realised that the most knowledgeable things i could learn come from myself.
whether its my higher self, my inner self or just...myself in general - i know all sorts of things about how i function and that would affect how i shift. that level of knowledge wouldnt be found anywhere else, so why would i trust others to give me that knowledge?
"i know myself better than anyone, if i want to shift i will and if i want to manifest things i will. noone else can control or stop that because this is my life, not theirs. they only gain control when i let them have control." — this became my way of viewing things and i still stick to it ; noone can control or change or make me do things unless i let them.
if you dont trust yourself or believe in yourself, you'll never find the answers youre seeking. sure, other experienced shifters can give you advice but only you know what will work for you. never let someone control your journey and never let them be the ones to claim your growth.
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gibbearish · 3 months
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its interesting to think abt how honestly im probably lucky / better off specifically because my case is more on the technically severe side. like even way before i had a name to do research on, my shit was like a brick wall so i knew /something/ had to be off basically as soon as i learned about how its supposed to work. and then in having penetration never be on the table at all meant i got to avoid forcing myself through painful sex because i didnt know any better and has made it easier to take my time in the therapy cause im like "eh ive been fine without it this long its no biggie". its funny how that works out
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strwbrymlkshake · 1 year
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LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND
#mine#🎸#vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever#the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH#why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS#i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work#idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to#learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW#love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!!#if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!!#if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this#so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just#make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do#and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely#i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book –_–#everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings#if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this#im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane
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minarcana · 1 year
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#ok guess what fuckers youre going to be on another tag ramble adventure with me#ive been afflicted with the same images in my brain tumbling around and the only way to free my brain is to write them out#and anyways i have been contemplating wol au uri for a bit due to various reasons (he came up and then i got this image and couldnt be free#shb with uri as the wol is. after killing vauthry. he is SO fucked up that raha STILL wont just let him die#he was supposed to have raha send him to the rift with the light and let him die there but now that he cant stop him rahas taking it himsel#and theres the whole. 'no we really cannot have the wol die.' thing.#that makes it infinitely worse to uri. him just yelling through blood to let him die! let him have his turn! he WANTS to die!#the idea of bring told that the wol CANT die makes it so much more unfair to him#'you wouldnt know what to do if i died? i didnt know what to do for years after louisoux died! i still dont know what to do without moenbry#da! papalymo can sacrifice himself and everyone adapts! shtola has thrown herself to the lifestream twice! minfilia died! i had to stay sil#ent and let ryne choose her own path if she died or not! i cant tell people that i would be lost yet everyone gets to tell ME that?#do you think i am better than them do you think them worth less why do they have the right to die and i do not!'#he is SO SO SO much worse as a wol and it falls out in one outburst after hes quizzed as to why he thought he could sacrifice himself#but he also realizes that its really fucked up to say that aloud so yknow. yknow what. yknow.#hell bottle up all his feelings and then one day hell either die or start crying and it looks like he aint allowed to die!#he still takes the aid from ardbert at amaurot with the statement that#'if i dont try and save who i might then ill never be able to face moenbryda'#anyways cannot stop thinking about me giving uri the echo like 'this will be funny!' and hes just 'my life has become infinitely worse'#HEAD IN MY HANDS
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fleshdyke · 7 months
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#not a great first day. augh.#as we are all aware a bunch of my closest friends stopped talking to me and wouldnt tell me why. so seeing them again and especially seeing#them all talk to each other and have fun stung a bit. and then my phone died and i couldnt remember what room my math class was in so i got#there late. and when i walked in when i tell you that everyone started laughing im so fucking serious.#and i just grabbed a random seat and the girls who were sitting there were i shit you not the most stereotypical high school mean girls you#have ever fucking met. like they were laughing at me when i sat down and kept looking at their friends and were texting each other and#laughing in that way you can Tell theyre bullying you. like when you’ve been bullied your entire life you can tell. but its not like i have#any proof of them doing this so i cant really do anything. and this group of boys were just openly making fun of me like 🧍‍♂️#and whenever i ticced which was a lot bc this was fucking stressful these girls i was sitting with would stare at me and then giggle to each#other like STOP. i quite literally didnt do anything but sit there and they were bullying me for fucking existing#and then the entirety of my old friend group was in my art class and its so nerve wracking being around them bc i still dont know what i did#like i want to kind of spite them by being happy without them but i also kinda wish i could just drop dead so they could know how much#that effected me. idk man. it sucks#and then theres the whole thing with getting on the wrong bus and walking home and im in so much pain rn. just. not a great start.#rambles#vent
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rivilu · 4 months
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A bit conflicted on the act 2 relationship progression options with Astarion (talking to what's-her-name or just getting to Exceptional approval) on this fine night
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