#i do NOT buy that. hes the illusions guy! hes the illusions guy. hey did u lads know hes the illusions guy. hes the fucking illusions guy

[dullahandyke]

autistically crafting ienzo thoughts in my brain

[lovifie]

Lift Me Off My Feet

Chapter 12: Finale

Masterlist

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

“You are not listening!” You shout, frustrated with the man.

In the couple of weeks that you have known and lived with them, you never expected that you would end up arguing with them. Even less with Price.

“No, Birdie. You are the one that needs to listen!” The man argued back.

“You got me fired, John! What else do you want me to hear?” You ask, running your hands through your hair. 

It finally set in, the reality that the idyllic life of living with the four of them without a worry was just an illusion. You were here because you were hiding, and they were here because they were hiding you. 

“I didn't get you fired, Birdie. Your boss did.” Price says, crossing his arms.

“Don't get sassy with me! He told you that they needed to know if I could get back to work any soon or they would be forced to fire me and you told them to do so!” You shout again, feeling like Price is lying to your face. “Why would you do that?!”

“Because you hate that job!” He shouts back. “And you don't need to work!”

“Yes, I do, Price! Yes, I do!” You say, a dry laugh leaving your throat. “Like everyone! I can't just live sponging off of you guys!”

“That's not what's happening and you know it, birdie!” He exclaims. “Don't manipulate the situation into making it look like a bloody transaction!”

“I'm manipulating the situation?!” You ask, pointing to yourself. 

“Yes! You are making it look like we are paying you to stay with us, birdie!” He explains, moving his hands to his hips.

“Oh, for god's sake, Price!” You exclaim, rubbing your face. “Why don't you exaggerate it a bit more?! I don't even know why I'm arguing with you about my job!”

“Neither do I?! Because I think it is pretty much settled!” He says, walking away towards the kitchen. 

“IT IS NOT SETTLE!” You scream, shocked by his response. “The reason why I don't know why we are arguing is because I don't know who gave you the right to choose over me!”

That makes him turn around, looking at you like you grow a second head. “Well, excuse me. For believing I have a say in your life, I just assumed I could since we bloody love each other and all that!”

“Don't pull that shit on me, Price! This has nothing to do with love!” You say, crossing your arms. “I don't have a say on your work! So why should you have it on me!”

“It's not the bloody same!” He says, rubbing his face.

“It's not for you because it doesn't benefit you!” You scream, looking back when you hear the door open as Gaz, Soap and Ghost enter the house. The three of them having left the house not too long ago to buy breakfast. 

“What's going on? We could hear the shouts from outside.” Gaz asks, entering first and looking between Price and you, seeing the wide cliff between the two of you.

“Nothing!” Price barks, crossing his arms again. 

You ignore the looks on everyone's face, instead walking to the door. 

“Where are you going now?!” Price asks, moving to be able to see you.

“Out! So I can fucking breathe without feeling I'm choking!” You say, opening the door after the boys closed it. 

“Don't go far!” Price says, still caring under all his bad mood 

“I KNOW I CAN'T GO FAR!” You say, slamming the door on your way out.

You hate screaming, hate shouting, hate raising your voice and even more if it is at Price or any of the men inside. It's not their fault and screaming at each other is not the way to fix it. But you can't help it, tired of being pushed around at everyone's mercy without asking what's your choice. 

Sitting down on the step right outside the house, not wanting or needing to go any further, you hide your face behind your hands, letting your palms get wet with your tears. 

“Hey, you alright?” A man's voice says, making you look up, to come face to face with an unfamiliar face. 

You don't have time to answer, because something hits the back of your head and everything blends to black.

Price updates the boys once you are out, he tells them your ex-boss called, told him you needed to get back to work the next day or he would fire you, he tells them how he told him to go ahead since you couldn't go back to work jet, he tells them about how he wasn't able to tell you about the empty position at base that you could filled to work with them because you started screaming, he tells them about how he lost his cool and just screamed back instead of explaining.

He tells them everything, feeling like the worst person in the world for making you leave the house with tears on your face. It's Gaz the first one to stand up. “I'll check on her.” He mumbles, as he walks outside to an empty staircase. He walks down, checking both sides of the street only to find it just as empty. 

An anxious feeling starts to brew on his stomach, entering back to the house with a worried expression on his face. “She's gone.” He says almost casually, as if not voicing one of the biggest fears the men around him have had for the last month.

“What do you mean she's gone?” Soap asks. “She must be around the block, she'll be back in a bit, mate.”

No one believes him, not even himself. You wouldn't have walked out of his sight like that, not without dragging them with you, not without a phone, not without telling them. 

There is a beat of silence, each debating whether it is plausible that you simply left, all of them feeling that the most possible chance is that something happened to you. 

“I'll check the car camera, it is parked right in front of the door.” Ghost says, taking his phone out to check it. 

They all check the screen, seeing the door open and close. They see you sit down, body shaking as you cry, Price feeling his heart shrunk at the sight knowing it was his doing. 

They then see the two men walking in front of you, how one of them takes advantage that you have your face covered to stand behind you, how the other calls your attention to look at your face, and how once he knows it's you he nods to the other man, who knocks you out hitting you with a bat at the back of your head.

The wave of all the different emotions hitting them at once keeps them in place for a second, paralyzed on their chair. Soap jumps first, talking about checking the cameras on the street, checking the cars, their licence place, anything. 

But it doesn't reach Price's ears, the only thing he can hear is the voices in his head telling him that he has failed twice now. The first one he wasn't able to keep you close enough when you left in the middle of the night, and now he was the one that pushed you away. 

You were just on the other side of the door a moment ago and now… now he didn't know where you were. All because he didn't explain himself and let his emotions take control of him.

“Price!” It's Ghost's voice that wakes him up, standing beside the sergeants. “Move.”

That's all he says, and that's all Price needs. 

They'll get you back, whatever it takes. 

Two weeks.

That is what it takes them to finally find a trail.

That is what it takes Price to breathe again.

That's what it takes Simon to let be seen outside the office.

That's what it takes Soap to let himself be embraced by any of the others.

That's what it takes Gaz to stop baring his teeth to everyone. 

They have a trail. 

And god knows that's all they need. 

What you need, is a doctor. A shower. A glass of water. A nap. Anything that is not forced or thrown at you. 

Two weeks of torture. 

Two weeks of just getting hurt, insulted, humiliated, all of it just for the purpose of causing you pain. 

The henchmen of the man you used to say good morning to were the ones that have stolen you away. 

The ones that have thrown you into an empty dark room.

The ones that have “interrogated” you about who you worked for. 

The ones that have “interrogated” you about how much they paid you. 

You didn't say a word, which usually resulted in a punch to the face or a kick to the ribs. 

You want to believe that they will find you. 

That they will take you back home.

That Price will forgive you for shouting at him.

Hell, if you die and the last thing you did was shout at him.

You'll live.

They'll find you.

Two weeks.

Of fighting with yourself.

The side that says you'll live.

And the side that tells you to give up already.

The second one usually wins.

Like today, when the man that enters the room every day walks up to you, limping and with a knife in his hand. 

He yanks your hair, pulling you up on your feet and pressing the knife on your throat. “Make a sound and it'll be the last thing you do.”

He moves you into a chokehold, pushing you in front of him as he walks down the hall. There is shouting and the sound of guns inside the building. 

The moment he sees the car where they push you in, the one they saw on the cameras; Price almost needs to pull Simon back from running inside the building.

This is it.

This is the headquarters they couldn't find for so long. 

The headquarters where all the important information and the guns they have looked for so long are at.

The headquarters where everything that matters is.

The headquarters where they kept you at. 

Price sends Ghost to the building on the other side of the road, not trusting the man in face to face with what they can find inside. 

And he obliges, hating the rank differences.

They move in, clearing room after room.

No sign of you.

The move to the second floor.

You are not there.

More and more people that hit the ground when they found them.

You are still missing. 

Until you see it. 

The unmistakable blue cap on Gaz's head.

And you shout.

You shout louder than you shout at Price.

You shout louder than when Soap scared you hiding behind the door. 

You shout louder than when you called for Ghost when you thought he fell on the shower but it was just the shampoo bottle.

You have never shouted at Gaz.

Until now.

And the moment you do you feel the blade dig into your skin, moving your hand between the knife and your neck.

The three of them turn to you, immediately updating Ghost and telling him to move. 

The window behind you is almost like a target for a perfect shot. 

But Ghost can't shoot.

Not when he can see your head.

Not when there is a possibility that he may hit you. 

But he can when you move.

When you grab the blade, breaking the skin of your fingers, and you pull back just enough to squish yourself down. 

You are still against his chest, the man still holding you. But Ghost can now see your head, lower than before. And the arms around you quickly go limp, falling forward taking you with him. 

A ringing in your ear keeps you from Price's voice calling your name. Everything is dizzy for a moment, there is a warm sensation on your elbow and when you look back a red pool of blood is bleeding onto your clothes.

You liked that t-shirt. 

You'll need to try with peroxide, see if you can take the stain out. 

Your brain ignores the corpse lying next to you, but for some reason you can't stop looking at the blood on your elbow.

It isn't until Price cups your face, your grimey, bloody and sunken face. And you look up to him, his blue eyes. 

And you let yourself cry.

After two weeks.

You cry.

So hard you can't see nor hear anything. 

You cling onto Price, hiding your face on his neck, digging your nails on his back needing to feel him under your skin. 

Apologies fly from one to the other.

For shouting, for pushing away, for failing to protect, for not shouting, for being taken away.

You feel two more pairs of arms around you, feeling the fourth person only when you start to leave the building. 

Not much longer an ambulance arrives, finally taking you to safety.

The four men in the car right behind. 

Recovery is just as slow.

No permanent physical damage.

But not all the wounds are on the skin.

Those heal quite fast. 

And soon you are back on your feet. 

On your scared, wobbly feet.

The boys are back around, always one of them close.

“I'm never leaving you out of my sight again.” Price says, cupping your face as he kisses your forehead. “I don't care if I sound like a madman.”

They make it easy to get back.

Price finally tells you about the job at base, which you gladly apply for.

Surprisingly you got it, and started working soon.

It was easy.

You got a better flat, easy to pay when four more people chime in for the bills. 

You got a better job, with better pay and a better boss.

You got, not only one, but four lovers. 

And you have all the time of your life to heal everything that's left. 

You still wonder how you managed to get into your garage that night. 

But now you're glad you did.

And with this, ladies and gentlemen.

Lift Me Off My Feet comes to an end ❤️.

Thanks for joining along, for all the support that you have given me the last couple of months, for the patience between chapters, special thanks to @darkangel4121 for listening to me complain so much and to everyone who has joined and will join the blog.

I love you, my lovelies 💗

TagList: @whos-fran @thevoidwriting @sklt987659 @kayden666 @dumb12bvtch1212 @thatonepupkai @darkangel4121 @cassiecasluciluce @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tired-writer04 @evolutionarry @prettykinkysoul @pagesfalling @skyler-loves-rick-grimes @readerofallthingss @onewattson6529 @mynameismothra   @renabear88 @lolliepopsicle @reap3erslov3 @tooloudarts @sodavrr @anirok2 @lilliumrorum @ladyxtiger @multy-fandom-lover @thriving-n-jiving @lotionlamp @spicyspicyliving @xxeiraxx @vampirekilmerfic @keiraslayz @risingofjupiter @witchthewriter @soupinasock @phantomly27 @arbesa-mind   @multifandomheathenannie  @spadekip @cmbghost @herefor-tojis-tits @tooloudarts @panikk-attackkk @reap3erslov3 @mothsdrabbles @ghosts-hoe

[horrorhot-line]

metanoia

(n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self or way of life. 

➵ pairing: saiki kusuo/reader

➵ word count: 13.9k

➵ genre: fluff with humour here and there

➵ warnings: none

➵ summary: for the life of you, you couldn’t understand why your peaceful life had been turned upside down. no matter what you did, you always found yourself dragged into saiki’s problems. worst of all? at first you wanted nothing to do with him, and slowly, without even realising it, you didn’t mind being around him as much. 

➵ masterlist  (requests are open)

➵ previous part - serendipity

horrorhot-line © 2023. all rights reserved.

before you read:

‘saiki telepathically communicating with reader.’

‘reader thinking or interacting with saiki through thoughts.’

“saiki talking without moving his mouth.”

“saiki talking using his mouth.”

notes: i know you guys were looking forward to him but i kid you not i can’t seem to get it right. ever heard of writers block? think writer’s boulder. anywho, it was either i worked on other pieces on the side like this on or stop updating for a year like i did last time. so enjoy this, and i promise i’ll get ‘for him’ out as soon as possible. this oneshot is based on s1 ep3. thank you for waitingggg!

rewritten: 02.08.2024

➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵       ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵

It all started when you ran into Saiki at the park.

He just happened to be there because your paths intertwined on the way home from school. You had taken a different route on purpose to avoid getting involved with the man, only to find yourself in the same crowd as him, watching a magic show.

You had decided from your first encounter with Saiki that you would do everything in your power to keep your distance, especially after you found out he was the most powerful psychic in the world. You had promised not to tell anyone his secret and made sure not to be caught near him, yet it happened anyway.

Truth be told, you were terrified of him. You didn't have enough fingers to count the times you noticed him in your peripherals, following you to make sure you held up your end of the bargain and didn't tell anyone of his powers. Which? Rude, first of all, bold of him to assume you were a snitch.

"Who's ready for another très bien trick by me? Master illusionist Uryoko Chono!" The magician performing the show asked as he pulled out a cone you recognised all too well from birthday parties, and you moved swiftly to the side so confetti wouldn't land in your hair. You didn't have the time to stand idly by and watch- you needed to be home for the new soap opera that would launch that day!

That, and you didn't want to get caught in any situation that involved a particular psychic. You decided to do a U-turn when you saw Saiki's pink hair in the crowd until the magician addressed you.

"Hey, student! Why don't you stay and join the fun? You too, pink hair! I'll do a trick to put a smile on those faces!" Chono exclaimed, leaning on the table before him and putting a hand out to stop the two of you. There was little chance of that happening; you were sure Saiki didn't even know how to stretch the corners of his mouth.

You sighed, turning on your heel only to be greeted by the crowd of people staring at you expectantly. Great! Now you had to stay. It seemed like Saiki felt the same, shooting a side glance your way before staring at the green-haired magician as the both of you decided in silence that the attention of leaving wasn't worth it— being a sheep was always the better option.

You deadpanned at the magician. "Oh! I see you're a sceptic." No, that wasn't it. It was more the fact that you could think of a million other things that called your attention, and this magic show wasn't one of them. "Well, once you see my show, you will become a believer in my powers to amaze." You could only purse your lips at the statement; you weren't buying it.

All magicians were hacks and used the ability of misdirection to achieve their illusions. That, and after finding out about Saiki and how vast his powers were, nothing this man had to offer would phase you. Yet, you watched anyway because walking away would be way too awkward now.

Saiki walked towards the crowd, joining it at your side. How had this caught his attention, you wondered. Did the magician really have supernatural powers? 'No— I'm watching, so he leaves me alone.' Saiki had yet to think something at you in weeks, and when he did, you nearly jumped out of your skin.

You were sure you'd never get used to his voice echoing inside your brain. At least he had cleared up your misunderstanding, you thought to yourself before moving away slightly, so the man in question wasn't too close to you. From where you stood before, you could practically feel his body heat and your touch-starved brai— Stop! Don't think anymore and just focus on the show.

The magician pulled out a box with a cartoon-like shooting star on it. "Right. I hold here an ordinary cardboard box." Chono stated, holding it up for the crowd to see. 'Nope, there's nothing ordinary about it.' Saiki thought at you, his expression dead, as always. You still couldn't understand why Saiki was talking to you. Curiosity peaked, you replied anyway, 'What do you mean by that?'

"As you can see, it's empty inside." The magician tilted the box, opening it so all could see, and he was right. 'At that angle, you can't tell there's a partition.' So that's how performers did it; you always wondered how they accomplished tricks like that. You were right— this guy was a hack! At least his showmanship was on point.

"But, watch! Just a couple taps and it's party time." Chono said as he tapped his cane on the box before opening it, only for birds to shoot out and fly away into the distance. "Aren't they amazing, folks?"

The crowd cheered and clapped for the magician, not knowing what you and Saiki did. "Hey there kids! Très bien, am I right?" The magician asked as he pointed a finger at the both of you. Not to you, they weren't, but the trick probably would have garnered your praise if it wasn't for Saiki telling you how the box worked.

'It's not très bien. If anything, I'm worried about that dove.' Saiki remarked, and you turned to look at him questioningly, his gaze fixed on the magician. 'What dove?' You inquired, confused as to what he meant. 'He has a dove under that hat, but I think he forgot about it.' You examined the magician's maroon hat, guessing Saiki could see through it with his X-ray vision. 'Shouldn't we tell him?' You looked from Saiki to the hat and back, your concern growing. 'After. I'll tell him once he's done here.' So the man did have a heart.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, please turn your attention here for the main event of our show, my super illusion!" Where had Chono pulled out those massive boxes from? His hat, you mused, chuckling quietly to yourself, stopping only when you noticed Saiki shoot a look of dismay your way. "Magically teleporting from one box to another will be my lovely assistant, Michael!"

Chono snapped his fingers before looking to his right, and you followed his line of sight only to see an old man with a straw hat on his unruly grey hair. 'Lovely is a stretch.' You grimaced, were those flies buzzing around hi— and what was that foul odour he was emanating? You had to agree with Saiki on that one, you could think of a lot of ways to describe him off the top of your head and lovely definitely wasn't one of them.

"The beautiful Michael is entering the box." The assistant was definitely not beautiful, either. Maybe Chono was blind? Now if that were true— it might’ve gotten a clap out of you. The magician narrated as you watched the old man get in before he shut the lid behind him. Chono snapped his fingers again, "And, drum roll." He said before doing some weird dance and making sound effects with his mouth to raise the level of excitement. You were expecting to be amazed. 'This is so sad.'

You nodded at Saiki's thought, 'It's almost painful to watch.' The second-hand embarrassment you were getting was through the roof, 5 more minutes of this and you were sure you'd be a victim of spontaneous human combustion. This had better be worth it; you did not waste 20 minutes of the airing of the new soap just to be disappointed. The crowd murmured in anticipation. 'What expression am I supposed to be making right now?'

Even you couldn't tell Saiki the answer to that, 'A smile maybe?' You mused, only for him to shoot a glare at you, causing you to put your hands up in surrender. Chono released the ball of confetti in his hand, and you watched as it fell to the ground. 'His overconfidence makes me cringe.' Your face scrunched at the scene— you weren't sure how much more you could take. 'You and me both.'

'And I'm still worried about that dove. Does that hat have air holes?' From what you could tell, no, it didn't. At least Saiki cared about the well-being of animals. 'I'm not worried, I just don't wanna be around to see a bird die.' You rolled your eyes as you folded your arms over your chest. Of course, he was the type to deny it. God forbid he actually had the ability to express concern for something.

"Alright, let's open the box!" Chono said as he walked over to the other box, putting his hand on top. 'Uh oh, lovely Mike isn't done teleporting yet.' You were beyond confused, turning to Saiki, who was still facing the stage. 'He's under the table.' Your eyebrows unfurrowed as realisation washed over you. That made sense, so the trick was to use the table to go to and from the box.

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, dreading what was to come. "3, 2, 1... It's party time!" Chono exclaimed, a huge grin on his face. Michael came out, alright— just not from the box. He emerged from underneath the table and raised his arms as if he had completed a feat. Chono stood with his back to Michael, his hand gesturing to the empty box.

A comical sweat bead formed on your forehead, and you cringed internally. You bit your fist as if that would help ease how uncomfortable you felt. Was it too late to make a run for it?

The crowd was deathly silent, and it was no wonder why. 'Now I really don't know what expression to make, maybe this one?' Saiki remarked as he observed the magician. You watched as Chono's expression fell, a hideous grimace taking its place as if he'd just witnessed a massacre of baby ducks. 'Yeah, that seems appropriate', Saiki confirmed, and you were glad his unintentional comedy saved you from the awkwardness.

The crowd dispersed shortly after that, and you stayed behind with Saiki to witness the aftermath.

"Why should I pay you for ruining the illusion?!" Chono exclaimed at Michael, who only retorted. "I moved at the normal speed— it was your darn pattern that got too fast. Now, you hand over that 500 yen." The assistant put his hand out, expecting his payment.

"No one tipped me for this performance, so I couldn't pay you even if I wanted to," Chono stated before he noticed your and Saiki's presence. "Hey, why are you two hanging around?" The magician said as he turned his back to Michael. Saiki wordlessly raised his finger to his head and bent it repeatedly.

"What, oh, you wanna give me a tip? Haha, I could never take money from a kid. The look of joy on your face-" Chono cut himself off when he looked down at the hat he took off his head. "-PICO!" That poor bird, you couldn't help but think.

"I completely forgot she was up there," Chono said, now sitting down as he stroked the dove. So that's why Saiki chose to linger even after the show had ended- he was still worried about the bird. Truth be told, you'd nearly forgotten after you saw the last trick. 'How can you forget there's a dove on your head?' Saiki stood at Chono's side as he looked down at the white creature.

You questioned the same thing- surely the animal had rustled and moved around up there. "So, you weren't trying to tip me; you were trying to remind me. Wait— does that mean... That you're a magician? That's how you knew she was up there." Saiki clenched his fist, a frown forming on his face. No, he was an esper. 'I should've kept walking.' Saiki lamented.

"With instincts that good, you must have hated my show." At least the green-haired man was right about one thing, Saiki had, in fact, hated his show, but he only had his powers to blame for that. "Maybe, I'm not cut out for the magician game after all." Cue the sad music in the background— where did the sound even come from? Was there a hidden speaker somewhere in the park?

You were sure the universe had some sort of playlist like a version of a 90s TV show's laughing track, the one that went off at the right moments. "Until a few months ago, I was your average office drone," Chono told the two of you, bowing his head as he sat on the park bench.

Hold it. You did not agree to listen to whatever existential crisis he had going on. "Then, I made a small mistake." Of course, you'd have to hear his sob story anyway. 'Oh, boy.' You sighed, waiting for the magician to get it all off his chest. "Corporate fat cats laid me off. Then, my wife skipped town." Damn, homeboy was really going through it, alright. 'Is it too late to walk away?' Saiki questioned no one in particular, but you answered anyway. 'It is.'

"With no job, I couldn't pay the mortgage anymore. One little mistake and my career, wife and home had all disappeared... and then it dawned on me, I should become an illusionist." This was heartbreaking and all, but you had to wonder where he was going with this story. “Wait- what?” Was it you, or was Saiki's voice hot as fu— No! Now was not the time!

"Because so many things had vanished from my life, I thought it must mean that disappearing them was my talent!" You nearly choked on your spit. Well, that took a turn. The plot twist gave you whiplash. Oh, dear. This poor man... somebody help slap some sense into him. “Your only talent is self-delusion,” Saiki was right- the man needed a reality check.

"So, even though I had been offered another office job, I turned it down to start my new life doing street magic." At least Chono looked pumped about it all. “Again, what?” You were just as bewildered as Saiki was, questioning the green-haired man's logic. "If I can save up 1 million yen, I can buy the 'sawing a body' in half trick— then, my wife is sure to come back!"

You shook your head in disappointment; the man had clearly lost his mind, another reason to add to the list of why not everyone should be allowed to procreate. If left like this, he'd end up a victim of loan sharks or worse. “Don't be so sure,” Saiki commented and you almost thought he was talking to you. He was addressing both. Why would his wife come back if he did that? And how did Chono plan on raising that kind of cash when he had just lost his lovely assistant? "But then I wonder if I chose the wrong path."

'Yes, yes you did.' Saiki thought bluntly, and you agreed mentally. At least the magician was finally seeing clarity and the error in his ways. He needs to quit street magic and get a real job.' You thought back. "Sorry, didn't mean to get so gloomy." Chono apologised, looking up at the two of you.

'What'll it take for him to give up?' You pondered at Saiki's question, bringing your hand up to your chin to think. Maybe showing him an impossible illusion? If it was something he'd never be able to do, he'd quit. "Let's get back to your background as an illusionist and how you knew I had a dove up there." Chono gestured at his hat and you watched realisation dawn on Saiki. Over what, you had no idea. 'That's it.'

You observed as Saiki wordlessly walked to stand directly parallel to Chono and you, pulling his school bag off his shoulders to hold it in front of him. "Whoa! Gonna pull something out of your bag?" Chono commented as you watched on. Saiki held up his other hand as his eyes widened. You raised an eyebrow; this was the most expressive you'd seen him since he found out about your immunity. 'I'll do a trick that's so beyond his ability, he'll realise how far gone he is and give up.' Was that why— Did Saiki take inspiration from your thoughts? He did.

"You're gonna pull out... a dove!" Chono guessed before stating he could pull out a bowling ball himself. 'Hmph.' Saiki's stoic expression remained, and your eyes widened when he pulled out the hand that was rummaging inside his bag. Nothing could have prepared you for what the psychic did.

He pulled out Michael by the hat on his head, though the man looked like a scrunched-up piece of paper. Saiki placed the old man on the floor, and you watched Chono's eyes bulge from his socket as he gasped. Surely, that would be enough to get the aspiring magician to stop his foolish ways. If you didn't know of Saikis's abilities, you would have become a believer.

"That's impossible!" Chono exclaimed as he fell to his knees, his jaw still slacking. 'Aren't you supposed to say très bien? At least this will make him give up.' Saiki stated as he moved to walk away and turned his back to Chono. You tried not to stare at Saiki's ass— and failed.

"Thank you. Now I can see. If your talent was hair, it'd be a flowing mane, while mine is just an eyelash." You stifled a laugh at the example Chono used and who could blame you? 'I don't quite understand using hair for that metaphor, but at least he's finally—' Saiki didn't get to finish that thought when he turned his head; Chono had already left your side to kneel behind the psychic.

"Make me your apprentice." The scene reminded you of One Punch Man, where Genos asked Saitama to make him a disciple. 'Should've seen it coming.' You only gazed over Saiki's shoulder to watch Michael hold up a 500 yen coin, talking about how he was going to eat a hot cup of soup.

Maybe sticking around and missing the airing of that soap opera was worth it— you had to admit, this was far more entertaining.

➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵  

Saiki may have walked the same way home as you, but his house came before yours. After the whole fiasco with the magician happened, and you realised your goal of not bumping into said psychic had failed, you chose not to take a detour, but walk with the pink-haired man instead.

No point wasting more time, you had reasoned. Your original plan to go home in hopes of catching the last few minutes of the TV show you wanted to watch was a bust because when you neared the Saiki household, you noticed Mrs Saiki standing outside the house in the front yard trimming bushes with gardening scissors.

Before you had a chance to make your getaway after greeting her, she exclaimed that it was far too late in the afternoon to walk home without eating, and even though you found her caring demeanour sweet, you weren't grateful for the sentiment when it meant spending more time with Saiki, he could still kill you after all. He would never, not when you gave him coffee jelly.

Sure he hadn't done anything yet, but the man did threaten to smite you off this earth the last time you were in his house. Could anyone really blame you for wanting to keep your distance? Try as you might though— you couldn't say no to the lovely woman who was Saiki's mother. Her smile threatened to blind you, and you didn't want to upset her by refusing.

Dinner with the Saikis was eventful, to say the least.

Mrs Saiki had ushered you inside quickly, but her son hadn't followed the two of you in. You didn't question it when she locked the front door. When he did step into the kitchen minutes later, he was followed by his dad. Mr Saiki didn't say anything to you— instead, he rushed over to his wife. "I can't believe you changed the locks on me again!" He complained, and you felt in that moment that you chose the wrong day to come over.

Were they having marital issues? You swore that the last time you were here they were getting along just fine. What had happened? "I hope you're hungry Ku-Ku. I'm making you breaded pork chops for dinner!" Mrs Saiki chose to ignore her husband, talking to her son instead as if the angry man behind her didn't exist.

"Hang on— now you're choosing to ignore me? Besides, I told you I wanted to have steak tonight!" Mr Saiki pointed his finger at his wife before raising his arm up and down as if he was throwing a tantrum - which he was. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot— but I can boil you a leather shoe." Mrs Saiki replied in a sickly sweet tone, turning back to her cooking. "I don't want a shoe, leather or not!"

You wanted to laugh but thought it wasn't the right time; you chose to snicker to yourself quietly from your seat on the sofa. 'I wonder when it went wrong for them. they used to be so passionate.' You watched on as Mr Saiki claimed his hate for his wife was as wide and deep as the Pacific Ocean, and she retorted by saying she hated him like a fish hated air. Why did you have to be caught in the middle of this?

'Well, they're still passionate now, but it's a little different.'

When the food was ready, you took up the seat next to Saiki, staying silent as you dug into the rice with your chopsticks. "Gorge yourself,  guys— I made a ton!" Mrs Saiki said with a smile on her face. "Hey, hey, hey! Hey!" Mr Saiki stood up from his seat at the dining table, slapping his hand on the surface like an angry restaurant customer.

You couldn't blame the guy, you and Saiki had gotten pork chops for dinner, but Mr Saiki had received a leather shoe garnished with gravy on top, filled with rice and had chopsticks placed inside it. "Is it good, Ku? Y/n— Oh, honey, would you like something else?" Mrs Saiki gave a closed-eyed grin to her husband, who stood in front of her. "No, because I bet it's just the other shoe."

"Bon Appetit!" Saiki's dad had guessed right, it was another shoe, but it was a blue sneaker. "That's not even from the same pair!" You watched steam flow out of the shoe, wondering how this situation was real. You felt like you had been sucked into some comedy show. 'They've been going at each other for a year.' Your eyebrows shot up at Saiki's revelation, watching on as the couple argued.

Mr Saiki gave up on trying to get his partner to be civil, turning to his son with the cooked leather shoe in his hand. "Hey, Kusuo— use your powers to turn this old shoe into a steak for Daddy." Saiki's thoughts flooded into your brain, stopping you from hearing his dad's rambling.

'So, in case you forgot, this pathetic dude's my dad, Kuniharu Saiki. He's lazy and irresponsible- and asks for help with everything in his life. But surprise, surprise, the more I help, the more useless he gets. So, lately, I've stopped doing him any favours.' Wow, Saiki sure was cold, dissing his father like it was nothing.

'I guessed all that already— Who are you talking to?'

'The audience.'

'...Stop breaking the fourth wall, please.'

You observed as Mr Saiki stopped rambling as he realised his son wasn't going to listen to him. "What?! How dare you take your mother's side in this?! Do you have any idea how many shoes I have to lick each day to buy that food you're eating now?!!" Mr Saiki shouted, and you watched as Saiki continued to eat his food quietly with no change in his expression.

"So, you do like to eat shoes?"

You guessed that much was enough for his father to realise his son wasn't going to lift a finger to help. Mr Saiki gave in, "Alright, I'll eat it—" He shovelled the rice into his mouth when he picked up the plate only to shoot up out of his seat seconds later, "It stinks! What did you do to this shoe?! Are you trying to poison your father?!" Mr Saiki exclaimed at his son.

"I'm pretty sure that's how they always smell, dummy," Saiki commented, still eating his rice. You watched as Mrs Saiki addressed her son when he put his bowl down, a shining bright aura around her. Where did that bright light come from? "Hey, Ku? Now, just remember what I've always said. Please don't use your powers for evil."

'This is my mom, Kurumi Saiki.' Mrs Saiki clasped her hand around her son's, "You must only use your powers to help those in need. Or those people who you're certain are genuinely nice—"

'She's a big reason why I haven't let my gifts turn me to the dark side.'

'Is that a Star Wars reference?'

Saiki ignored your question— continuing his not-so-inner monologue, 'She's a caring soul— well, to me.' You were taken aback when the sweet air around Mrs Saiki changed to something sinister. "—But, feel free to use your powers to hurt Daddy." This whole situation was getting more and more preposterous. 'She kinda has a dark side herself.' You could see that.

Mrs Saiki seemed to notice her husband scoffing down Saiki's food when she was distracted around the same time you did, and you watched as she slowly turned and her expression shifted from a smile to a cold glare. "Stop eating Kusuo's dinner, you thieving son of bitch!" Mrs Saiki looked extremely pissed off, a tick mark appearing on her face. Hang on— she knew how to swear?!

You felt sorry for Mr Saiki, but there was no way you'd get involved, you didn't want his wife to aim her anger at you instead. "That's it! We're taking this outside!" She shouted, and you had to admit the situation was getting interesting. Who would win? Your bets were on Saiki's mom. 'In truth, I could break up this fight whenever I feel like it, but this is something they're going to have to work out themselves.'

Did he think things at you on purpose even though he could just not talk to you? You didn't want to admit it, but the idea made something inside you churn. Were the two of you closer than you realised?

You watched Saiki's attention shift from the brawl to the dessert that was placed near him on the dining table when the food was laid out. 'Hm? Coffee-flavoured jelly? ...Hmm, doesn't taste bad— earthy with a slightly citrus finish. Don't let the name fool you— this jelly is a mature dignified treat.'

You couldn't pay attention to Saiki fangirling over the dessert, too busy watching Mrs Saiki handle her husband like she was some WWE fighter and he was her opponent. She put him in all types of chokeholds before raising him over her head, preparing to throw him. Was now a good time to take your chance and sneak away?

'Better still, when you add just a splash of whole milk, it becomes an entirely new flavoured sensation,' Saiki continued to eat the coffee jelly, turning away from his parents to take another bite, '—and that hint of decadence is everything I ask for in my dessert.' When you looked back at Saiki, you froze. The fight was long forgotten as you watched the corners of his mouth lift. You realised then, that was the first time you had seen Saiki smile. You didn't want to admit it, but he suited him. Really well, too well actually.

Saiki didn't get to eat any more of his treat, because when he raised his hand to his mouth to consume another spoonful, Mrs Saiki launched her husband across the room and he crashed into his son, which forced the jelly-filled utensil out of the pink-haired boy's hand. You watched the jelly fall from the psychic's hand in slow motion until you saw a flash of pink.

Saiki had managed to catch the dessert in his mouth before it fell to the floor. He was now on the floor and you couldn't help but think about what you had done for the universe to force you to stay at the Saiki household during this whole fiasco.

"You wanted to eat jelly that bad?" Mr Saiki had gotten up, whereas Saiki was still on his stomach on the floor, chewing what was in his mouth. "Forget the jelly— We got bigger problems! Your mothers turned into a monster!" Your eyes travelled to where Mr Saiki was pointing, thinking he was exaggerating.

He wasn't, Mrs Saiki's face had transformed into what could only be described as a Japanese Onii mask from folklore. "Stop running from me, you coward." Even her voice had changed as if she had been possessed. Oh, dear. "You've got to stop her! You're my only hope to stop her reign of terror. Do it! Slay the demon!" You wanted to run your hands down your face in exasperation, but you couldn't bring yourself to look away.

Mrs Saiki let out a demonic laugh as she grabbed onto the dining table. "You're not leaving 'til I say so!" She exclaimed before she raised the furniture above her head to throw it at her husband— how had the food not slid off? You wanted to leave but didn't want to incur Mrs Saiki's wrath. Mr Saiki tried to shield himself by bringing his arms up to cover his face as he closed his eyes. "Ahhh! Oh god! Ah— Huh?"

When he opened his eyes, Mr Saiki realised the table was floating above his head, all thanks to Saiki using his psychokinesis. "Hey, Kusuo!" Saiki's father went from shocked to smug, smirking as he realised he'd been saved. 'I've got the weirdest parents, I don't really care about stopping another pointless fight, but I can't help myself.' At least Saiki had stepped in, lest the house gets trashed and you get dragged into the war.

"So now you're on your dad's side? But I even made you pork chops!" Mrs Saiki's face was finally back to normal, her voice too, and you let out a sigh of relief. You were still confused by Saiki's comment. 'Why do I say it's pointless? Just wait.'

"I want nothing to do with either of you again!" When Mrs Saiki's voice flooded into your brain, you nearly jumped. 'That's a lie. Truth is, I love them!' Your head whipped to look at Saiki's back, guessing he must have used his powers on you. At least he had helped clear your confusion.

You couldn't help but wonder why she was lying, why she wasn't honest about her true feelings. What was the point of this fight again? 'No matter how hard they try, the voices in their hearts always bubble up. In other words, all these fights they have— are a sham.'

Your brain hurt— because trying to wrap your head around why the couple was acting like they despised each other when they didn't was nothing short of difficult. You rubbed at your temples, Saiki using another power you weren't used to had gotten to you. When Mr Saiki claimed he hated his wife and son, his inner thoughts told you he just wanted to snuggle.

They fought on the surface, but the voices in your head told you that they were just complimenting each other internally. 'Like I said, another pointless fight. There is one person here who has real reason to be upset, me—'

'Don't forget me. I didn't ask to be dragged into this.'

'—Those weirdos interrupted my dessert. I guess only a psychic can fix this.'

Mr and Mrs Saiki stopped arguing when they started saying they loved each other telepathically. You watched in amusement as they started blushing, getting confused as to why they could hear each other. Realisation dawned on them as they turned to their son, "Kusuo!" They both exclaimed.

'Forced shared telepathy. I used my psychic powers to link their minds at the neural level. In other words, thanks to me, they can now hear each other's thoughts.' Even though it was late, you were somewhat grateful he explained to you how you could hear what his parents were thinking.

Mr and Mrs Saiki told their son to stop his powers because they didn't want the other to realise they were still in love. What a disaster. At least the fighting had stopped. You watched the psychic's parents go from being embarrassed to pronouncing their adoration for each other.

With a hand on his wife's waist, Mr Saiki declared that he loved her, and she did the same. Where had the flowers surrounding them come from? 'Cool. The end.' Saiki deadpanned. Finally, the fighting was over.

While his parents apologised to each other profusely, the pink-haired boy went back to his seat at the dining table to finish his dessert. You sat across from him, relieved that the war in his living room had passed. 'What a pain. Normal people are complicated. At least now I can finish my dessert in peace.' This time around, when Saiki smiled, you had the chance to properly observe it.

He looked handsome, you had to admit. You knew the man was attractive but he looked 100x better when he was showing normal emotions. It was over dessert, but still! Did Saiki have a sweet tooth? Would he smile again if you got him something from the bakery? You shook your head, choosing to find interest in the furniture around the psychic's house.

You didn't know how to feel when you found out that the fight started when Mrs Saiki ate her husband's coffee jelly, overhearing the conclusion of their arguement. All of that was because of some dessert? This was ridiculous. You gazed on as Saiki's expression fell when Saiki's mom twirled over to her son and snatched the coffee jelly the psychic was eating right out of his hand so she could present it to Mr Saiki.

Saiki's smile was replaced by a dark expression as he stared at his hand where his snack had just been. Oh, no... He was super angry. You ignored the man's father claiming the dessert was a mature dignified treat, rummaging through your school bag to find what you needed.

The rumbling of the windows in the Saiki household stopped when you placed the bag on the floor beside your seat and used your hand to slide the coffee jelly you fished out onto Saiki's side of the table. It only took the psychic a few seconds to realise what exactly it was in front of him, and you smiled.

What could you say? The guy looked cute when he was confused. Burdened with the knowledge of how powerful he was, you sometimes forgot that the man sat across from way like any other human.

After a beat, he made eye contact with you and you swore you saw his eyes sparkle. Your smile dropped in slight shock, your lips parting.

'Coffee jelly?'

You gulped, catching your bearings.

'Yeah, I forgot to eat it at lunch— you can have it, Kusuo.'

When you called him by his first name without thinking, having heard it so many times today from his parents— you thought he'd complain. Instead, Saiki grabbed the treat and gingerly peeled back the seal before digging in, a soft smile gracing his face again. You ignored the weird feeling that washed over your heart.

Maybe the psychic wasn't all that bad.

➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵

When night fell, you headed up to Saiki's room. The psychic knew of your inner turmoil of not being able to catch the show you wanted to watch and said his mom had most likely recorded the pilot episode before you two had reached his house. 'I'm only doing this because I don't want to owe you for that coffee jelly.' That was fair, you couldn't fault a man who kept up with his debts.

Grabbing the cassette from his living room, Saiki walked past you and up the stairs. When you stood there in confusion, expecting to watch it on the living room TV, he turned around to tilt his head in the direction of his bedroom as if telling you to follow him.

'Hurry up. Before I change my mind.'

That is how you found yourself seated on Saiki's bed, with him sitting in the chair he had pulled from his desk so it was right in front of the television.

He had left the room earlier to change into more suitable clothes, a white sweatshirt with blue sleeves and brown pants. This was the first time you had seen him in casual clothes— when he kidnapped you to interrogate you on your first real meeting, he hadn't bothered to change out of his school uniform. You had to admit even though he didn't have an eye for colour coordination, he still managed to pull it off.

Truth be told, you were disappointed. The show didn't live up to the promotions you had seen all over social media. You were expecting a love story starring Mikoto Teruhashi. Was it you or was that name familiar? What you got was some twisted joke of a romance.

The female lead's family died in a car crash, she got cheated on with her sister no less, and she got married to a stranger to save her family only to find out that her ex-boyfriend didn't sleep with another woman; she had walked in on his long-lost twin brother instead. All in one episode.

You felt like you had whiplash with all those plot twists, and honestly, what a letdown— you expected better writing. Sighing, you shifted yourself on Saiki's bed when you felt pins and needles assault your feet. You chose to cross your legs, yawning into your hand. Was now a good time to go home?

"Is binge-watching shows your favourite pastime?" You asked, trying to make conversation in between the infomercials, better than telling him straight off the bat that you wanted to leave after he went through the trouble of doing you a favour. "I like watching TV. It's one of the few things that can surprise me. Because I can't hear the actor's thoughts, I don't know what's coming next." The psychic replied.

"Makes sense." You nodded, not really knowing what to say next. "Speaking of next, that new mystery show's supposed to start soon." Saiki moved to sit with one leg on his chair, his arm resting on his knee for support. When he used his index finger to change the channel, you nearly lost your mind.

Oh, yeah— he's a psychic; of course, he could do that, you thought to yourself, ignoring the fact that your brain had decided to short-circuit on you. "Tonight, you will witness a miracle!" Sure, you heard the host of the TV show talk but his words didn't quite reach you, too busy looking at his fingers and wondering what else they co— Dear, lord you needed to go outside and touch grass, hug a tree, probably both.

Clearing your throat and catching your bearings, you turned to the TV screen, a mixture of green and maroon pixels coming together slowly as the cameraman zoomed in. No way... that man in the distance looked way too familiar for your liking. It couldn't be. "What." Saiki mirrored your shock, his eyes widening. The host on the TV continued. "A stupendous amazing illusion performed by the former homeless man turned master magician, Uryoko Chono!"

"Now that's Très Bien!" Chono said through the screen, and you watched Saiki's face deadpan. "What did I tell you about TV surprising me?" You didn't have a witty reply for him this time— far too stunned by the fact that the magician from that afternoon had managed to get his own segment on live TV, mere hours after you met him.

Was that even possible? Then again, after the month you'd had, was there any point in questioning what was and wasn't achievable? "After losing it all, he became a street magician and mastered tricks that others can only dream of!" The host came into view— a mic in his hand, as he praised the green-haired man beside him. You brought a hand up to hold your head, baffled into silence.

"But this isn't just a surprise; it's unbelievable. How is a man who almost killed his dove, good enough to be on TV?" Even you didn't know the answer to that. You would've broken the fourth wall and asked the writer in your desperation if Saiki hadn't done it one too many times during his parents' argument. You watched as the pink-haired psychic stared at the screen, gobsmacked. "You might wanna close your mouth, flies will get in. Never mind that— we just saw him before. How's he gotten on TV so soon?"

"Blame the author; it's for plot convenience." Finding out your guess was correct brought you anything but relief. You exhaled in exasperation, a new headache forming in your skull. "There you go, breaking the fourth wall again." You commented, shaking your head as you tutted at him. "What I'm attempting tonight is the most dangerous escape you'll ever see!" Chono's voice coming from the TV filled the room.

Your face slowly lost its colour as they showed snippets of what was to come. A box, chains, then knives, followed by a drop, fire and— was that a bulldozer?! You were sure of it now; the green-haired magician was toast. "No way he's this good." Saiki had taken your advice and shut his mouth; it was no longer hanging open. You side-eyed him from the bed, "He's a goner."

"But live or not, they'd never put someone on TV that might get hurt, right?" You shook your head to yourself; they would— they had. "Don't be too sure. If he dies, the show's view count will skyrocket." You could already see the hashtags trending on Twitter X.

The camera panned to the magician in question. "As you can see, folks, Chono's hands and feet are both shackled. As he makes his way to the crate— Oh no, he fell!" You observed as Chono faceplanted and kissed the floor. Was this second-hand embarrassment you felt? "Just a trip; he should be fine." You weren't sure you fully believed that statement and by the sound of it, neither did Saiki.

"He's safely inside the box. And now, Mr Micheal— Chono's formerly homeless assistant, will lock him in." You could only watch on in horror as realisation dawned over the magician's face, and he exclaimed to wait— that he wasn't ready. You didn't like where this was going. From the tricks you had seen that afternoon, you highly doubted that the green-haired man could pull this off. He wasn't going to make it.

"Him screaming isn't a good sign. Neither is all that banging he's doing." Saiki's face paled at the implication. "No shit, Sherlock." The psychic only glared at you, and you were too busy biting your fist while watching the TV to notice. The host told the audience that Chono only had 5 minutes to escape or the box would be destroyed with him in it. The camera cut to a shot of the timer counting down.

"I'm sceptical he can do this." So were you. There was only 3 minutes left. "Should I help? I don't even think I can. I'm not close enough to jump in and save him without being seen." You were on the edge of your seat. Two minutes left. "Then again, if he fails, he dies, and I can't have that happen."  You imagined what was to come, the TV announcing that Chono was burning alive inside the crate.

"It would ruin my night." You swore the psychic was just talking to himself at that point. At least Saiki cared; the boy did have a heart, after all. The pink-haired psychic stood up from where he was sitting on the chair. "If he fails, the footage would cut into my mystery show—" You took your statement back; he was heartless. "Is there a way to teleport in without getting on TV? ...Yes. The one place the camera can't find me— inside the box itself."

With that, Saiki was gone. He vanished into thin air, and you guessed he was now inside the box. At least he was doing something, even if his heart wasn't quite in the right place. You just hoped he didn't get himself caught, or worse— hurt.

All alone in the room, the only thing you could do was keep your eyes glued to the screen, waiting with bated breath. 'Kusuo?' You hoped he could hear you over everyone else's thoughts, hoped he was within range. He did, and he was.

'He's not here.'

You breathed a sigh of relief when you heard his voice reverberate in your head. Then, his words hit you.

'What do you mean he's not there?!'

'...He really has gotten better. I mean he's not here, l/n— the banging was coming from a CD player.'

So Chono hadn't even been inside the box when they chained it up? Why wasn't Saiki back then? There was no point in him staying there. The 5-minute timer was up, and you watched Michael come into view, struggling to hold the swords he was about to pierce the crate with.

'Hurry, Kusuo— you need to come back.' You winced at the heavy concern lacing your voice— thought?

'I can't. I have to think fast; I can't just teleport back out. That power needs to be recharged for 3 minutes before I can use it again.'

You watched as the magician's assistant started to put the swords in one by one. 'Oh, crap.' 17 more to go.

'You still there?'

You couldn't help but stress when he didn't respond. Chewing on your bottom lip, you tried not to think about the cold sweat at the idea of Saiki not making it out. 3 swords left. How did Saiki plan on surviving this one?

'Yeah. No one could— except me. I dislocated almost every joint in my body.'

Just a few words from Saiki, and you felt as though a boulder had been lifted off your shoulders. The relief you felt was short-lived though, as dread pooled inside your stomach at his words.

'Are you okay?!'

'I'm not gonna lie— it hurts.'

You wracked your brain to try and find a way to help him, coming up empty. Sure, you wanted nothing to do with him, but you weren't comfortable knowing he was in pain. Why? You had no idea. You chose to blame it on common human decency but the feeling of your heart sinking suggested otherwise.

You watched as the TV crew hooked a line to the crate before it was announced that a crane would lift it and drop it from a 30-metre height. You raised your hands to cover your face because you weren't sure you wanted to see, only for you to move your fingers so you could peer at the screen seconds later.

'The only way to avoid certain death... is...' You watched the crate collide with the floor, the bottom of it crumpling from the impact. '...To jump. Flawless timing.'

You stopped tensing, visibly relaxing, when you heard Saiki in your head again, never more grateful than now for his telepathy. He managed to save himself again and you hadn't appreciated his powers more, than in that moment. After the dust from the crash settled, the host on TV announced that the box would be set on fire. You furrowed your eyebrows— did they really need to go that far? It was too much overkill in your opinion.

'Didn't even get a chance to catch my breath. At least with all the hot weather lately, I've been able to hone my psychic powers over temperature.' You honestly didn't know how to feel when the support crew doused the crate in gasoline, lit a match and set the box alight— only for the host of the show to reveal that fire wasn't the final boss.

'There's more?'

How was he planning on getting out in time when he hadn't passed his 3-minute limitation over teleportation? Wait— how had the crew managed to do so much damage in that window of time, anyway? The host confirmed your fears when they brought in a yellow steamroller. No way— were they planning to run over the box and flatten it completely, with Saiki still inside?!

You watched the stream roller reverse and then drive over the box, effectively crushing it under its wheels. You watched in silence, your heart practically beating out of your chest in worry. The host asked the audience how anyone could survive inside the box— until lights turned on behind him, showcasing Chono.

"Hold on, who is that I see? It's the miraculous illusionist himself, Uryoko Chono! He's alive!" The crowd went wild, breaking out into applause and screams at the trick. You couldn't care less! Where was Saiki?! Was he okay?!!

'How annoying. His wasn't the only great escape, but I got lucky. The soil was extra soft.'

It was your turn to go radio silent.

'...Did you dig a hole like some groundhog?'

You were just happy he was safe. God forbid you had to live with the fact that Saiki died and you had witnessed it. Then again, he was an all-powerful psychic— what did you expect? Of course, he'd make it out alive.

'I know. I said I liked TV because it can still surprise me— but this is too much.' You couldn't help but snort at the comment, his dry humour was growing on you. Saiki was right; the amount of turmoil the day involved was not something you had mentally prepared yourself to handle. Exhaustion took over you, and you let yourself fall back onto Saiki's bed.

Was Saiki's life always like this? Downright disastrous to the point where it was funny? You kinda felt sorry for him. "Tres Bien, right?" Chono exclaimed when the host stated that the escape was great. You exhaled, placing your hands on your stomach and trying to relax.

"Hey, stick around for what's next—" Your head shot up, recognising the voice from the countless trailers you had seen for months plastered every time you opened up an app. It was the male lead of the new mystery show everyone was looking forward to.

Your mind worked at a million miles per hour, and you were sure there were drawings of algebra floating around you. Saiki was a psychic, and if he was near the new show's star, he'd no doubt hear spoilers from the actor.

'Kusuo, come back.'

'I can't; I still have 13 seconds to go.'

Great. The show he was looking forward to, the very reason he went to save Chono, was going to be spoilt because he chose to be a good human being. All because the lead actor was around, and of course, the guy knew what was to come— he had just finished filming it, after all.

You made a decision then, one you knew you'd regret. Concentrating on getting your breathing under absolute control, you forced your mind to go blank. Then you imagined Saiki at the park he had transported to so he could save a certain magician.

You clenched your jaw. Saiki wasn't too far away, and if you used your immunity on him, it'd work, right? You had to try at least. You reached out your hand in your mind, and when it came into contact with his shoulder, you saw what you were looking for.

The familiar thin white strings, millions of them shooting off from his temples in all different directions and disappearing into the distance when your eyes tried to follow them. You had no doubt they were the strings that connected Saiki's mind to anyone in a 200-metre radius.

With your hand still on Saiki, you imagined the actor who starred in the show's premiere, the love interest. That's when you found the thin line connecting the two, all the others melting in front of you as you forced yourself to focus. You had to hurry, you didn't have much time.

"The world premiere of a mystery called, 'Love Fantasy.'" You tried to dismiss the voice of the actor; he sounded like he was speaking from right next to you and damn it if his yapping wasn't as distracting as it felt. "My character will try to uncover the mystery of his girlfriend's death."

You clenched your jaw at the pain invading your skull, ignoring it as you reached out, using your index and middle finger as make-shift scissors, closing the two to cut the string. All the while, you questioned why you had chosen to use your talents for the psychic. Oh, yeah— it was because you felt bad for the guy.

The moment you opened your eyes, the headache that you experienced for the better half of the day skyrocketed. Fuck, it hurt. You wished you had stayed on Saiki's bed.

As your vision began to swim, a familiar wave of nausea hit you. You felt the ground shift beneath you, unable to do anything as you realised you would fall face-first into Saiki's table. You hoped it wouldn't bruise. Closing your eyes, you braced for impact, expecting pain.

When it didn't come, you forced your eyelids to open, using the last ounce of energy you had left. Why did they have to feel so heavy? You still couldn't see clearly, but what you could tell was that someone had caught you before you kissed Saiki's carpet.

Your body was limp; try as you might, you couldn't get your limbs to listen to you. It hurt to breathe; the sharp pain in your ribs made sure of that. You couldn't even raise your head to see who had caught you. Was it Saiki's dad? Had to be.

"...od grief... what happene..." You strained your ears to hear whoever was talking to you, to no avail. You scrunched your eyes shut when another wave of nausea hit you. You felt yourself getting picked up before being placed on something soft. The bed?

You took in sharp breaths, trying to ease the pain. No such luck. When you felt a hand on your forehead, you opened and squinted your eyes to see. Even with your fuzzy vision, you knew you recognised the pink you saw.

'Kusuo?' You thought at the psychic, hoping you had guessed right. 'Yes?' The relief that filled you, when the pain seemed to ease at the sound of Saiki's voice in your head— was incomparable.

'Is that you?' A brief pause followed, and he answered before you could think of anything else. 'Who else? How did this happen?' Right, stupid question to ask. You closed your eyes again, assuming he was asking about your deteriorating condition. 'I used nullification on you.'

Silence followed for a few seconds, and you found yourself missing the sound of Saiki's voice inside your brain. 'Why?' Was all he had asked, and you looked at him. You could see his face clearly now, and if you weren't feeling like you were going to throw up the food Mrs Saiki had made for you earlier, you were sure you'd be flushed.

He was so close— you could feel his exhales fan your neck. You noticed the faint wrinkle in between his eyebrows. You returned to looking at his eyes, trying to name the emotion. Worry. 'Because you were looking forward to watching the show, and that actor would have spoilt it by accident.'

You shut your lids, feeling sheepish when you said it aloud; it wasn't like it was your job to care to begin with— but you did, and you couldn't understand why. That question would have to wait; first, you had to get better.

You didn't see Saiki move so much as felt it. The moment he tried to lift himself off you, your stomach churned, and Saiki halted altogether. Your tense muscles relaxed as the pain dulled with the psychic's gesture. You opened your eyes to look at him, finding him looking at you already.

Granted the pain wasn't as bad as the last few times— you still appreciated the action. He broke the silence first, the staring contest between you two along with it as he looked away. 'Good grief. Stop doing troublesome things.' Was all he replied with, and you had half a mind to furrow your eyebrows in disbelief when you realised he was referring to your last comment to him. Your lips parted to shoot a retort at him, and that's when you saw it.

The corners of his mouth twitched. You almost thought it was a trick of the light in your peripherals until you looked at his lips.

Utterly shell-shocked, your mouth gaped open at the sight. Was Saiki smiling at you? Where was the coffee jelly? It was gone with a flash, replaced by his iconic deadpan. 'I was not.' He totally was! What a tsundere— not even able to admit that some part of him was low-key touched that you had done something for him out of consideration. 'I'm not touched; what you did was stupid. You have a fever.' You could only huff at Saiki's statement with the last of your energy.

'Yeah, that's normal. I mean, you're the most powerful psychic out there, and there was another person involved.' You shouldn't have expected anything less. Simply turning off your immunity to using your nullification and severing a connection between two people was a huge leap. When Saiki didn't respond you couldn't help the thought that came to mind. 'So if two plus two is four, and five plus five is ten, then...'

Saiki's eyes narrowed once he registered your words. 'I want you to know I'm only tolerating that reference because you're sick. You didn't even get it right.' You chuckled softly at his comment, ribs not yet ready for a full laugh. Lips stretching into a grin from his leniency or his last statement, you weren't sure. Your cheeks hurt, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. That was until you realised how cold you actually felt, shivering when goosebumps appeared over your arms.

You hadn't felt like this since you were a kid, but could you be surprised at your situation? Especially when it involved the world's most potent psychic to ever live. It was no surprise that the fevers you experienced as a child when Saiki was running around changing human biology with crazy hair colours would make a comeback. You went back to resting your eyes.

You were in no position to retaliate when Saiki picked you up and transported the two of you into your bedroom. The familiar feeling of your mattress helped relax your body some more.

'I'm leaving the second I can transport again.'

You said nothing as the pink-haired boy made quick work of tucking you under the covers and placing a cold compress on your forehead, waiting until your hand was secured to it before he backed away.

You half expected him to place a kiss on your forehead like you had seen in all the romance manga you had read— where the female lead got sick, and the male lead took care of her. No kiss was exchanged, to your disappointment.

'Thank you.' That was all you could think at him, not knowing what other way to express your gratitude. He was silent for a bit, then he turned his back to you, and just like that he was gone. You sighed, running a hand through your hair— what a day.

Too busy dealing with your inner turmoil, you failed to realise Saiki had stayed for more than 3 minutes.

➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ 

The next day at school, nothing had changed— and you were glad for it somewhat. You had thought things between you and Saiki would be awkward.

They weren't; when he saw you that morning, all he had done was nod at you, acknowledging your existence before he turned to face the blackboard at the front of the class. You ignored the disappointment you felt, it's not like you expected him to be your best friend or something.

When the school bell signalled the end of the academic day, you got ready to pack your things and leave. That was until you noticed a light blue-haired boy walk up to Saiki, who was in front of you, who was also shoving his books in his bag so he could make his getaway. Too late.

"Guess what? I've been summoned." You deadpanned at Kaidou's statement, something you were sure you picked up off of Saiki. Was he rubbing off on you? Nah, no way. Not possible. "If I told you why, I'd have to kill you both."

Your expression relaxed when Kaidou's eyes met yours, and you gave him a confused smile, signalling one thing. 'I don't know what the fuck you're on about.' You watched as the blue-haired boy puffed his chest like some peacock.

"But for now, let's just say the world's in store for some pretty big changes." With that, Kaidou waddled away like some penguin. What was with that walk, and why was his ass swaying side to side as he continued down the hallway? PK couture, you mused to yourself— he was going for a catwalk.

"What? Did he make a friend?" Saiki asked, and you were surprised when he turned his head to the right to make eye contact with you. You looked back at him, still leaning half your body out of the classroom with your hands on the door frame. You simply shrugged your shoulders before the both of you gazed at where Kaidou had turned the corner.

When Saiki moved forward, going in the same direction, you took a step toward him. "Where are you going?" You asked, mind already guessing the answer. Saiki looked over his shoulder at you, "I'm going after him because I'm curious." He stated before continuing down the hallway. You decided you were too, so you followed in tow.

The two of you spotted Kaidou not long after, the light blue-haired boy walking up to the doors leading to the storage room on the second floor. He whipped his head around to see if anyone else was about. You didn't expect what came next; caught off guard when Saiki pulled on your arm to hide the two of you behind a wall.

You were brought face to face with the pink hair's chest, and when you looked up, you realised he was staring down at you. Damn, he had a sharp jawline. If you didn't know any better, you'd think Saiki was sculpted by the likes of Micheal Angelo himself. You felt your ears burn and chose to ignore them. Why the fuck did he have to be so close, and why was he caging you against the wall?

"It'll be troublesome if he sees us," Saiki stated as he stepped away from you. You shook your head to get rid of the thoughts swirling through your mind before the two of you peered at the blue-haired boy from your hidden spot. "Thurisaz, isaz, hagalaz, sowilo, gebo, fehu." You couldn't help but think Kaidou sounded like he was summoning a demon. Was it that Jet Black Wings nonsense, again?

When the door opened, the light blue-haired boy walked in. Saiki left your side and started to walk over to the door where Kaidou had been moments later. You followed soon after, and you strained your ears to hear what was happening in the room.

The following 5 minutes were nothing but painful. You heard two voices; one was Kiadou's, and the other, you guessed, was a student who must have been his friend.

You and Saiki listened as the blue-haired boy claimed it was hard to believe that he used to be part of the Dark Reunion before he figured out that the organisation was evil, went rogue, performed some technique when he got cornered and managed to transmigrate into Shun Kaidou's body when he was unborn.

Was this some— sort of weird realistic roleplay? Sure, it was nice to have his fantasies come true through acting, but you weren't sure it was a good idea to spur on his delusions. Kaidou was too far gone already. His 'friend' told him that they would do anything to help Kaidou get his memories back because his power was needed.

Who was 'they'? You couldn't help but question the whole situation. Something about it felt sketchy. Kaidou seemed to have the same thought in mind, wondering who his friend was referring to.

Apparently, there were four other phantoms in the room. It got weirder and weirder. You had to give it to both of them, you wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face if you were in there to save your life. The 'friend' claimed if Kaidou couldn't see them, that meant he could never help.

Kaidou jumped to try and save face, saying he could see the phantoms. What a joke. You weren't so curious anymore; now you just wanted to leave. You stopped paying attention to the conversation until you heard the 'friend' exclaim, "Stop!" followed by, "Mannaz, ingwaz, wunjo!"

Great, someone else who liked to talk in gibberish. You cringed when you heard Kaidou's friend state that the Dark Reunion had gotten into the room and killed the four phantoms. Since when could phantoms die? Wasn't all of this too much? You had to commend the 'friend' at least— for staying in character so long.

The friend stated they needed to create a barrier to protect them before telling Kaidou to place all metal objects into the bag since it would interfere. Now things were getting interesting. When Kaidou asked if the change had to be given as well, that's when the realisation hit you.

The whole thing was a scam. That kid was trying to steal all of Kaidou's money under the guise of roleplay! What was worse— was that the poor blue-haired boy believed the whole thing was real. The only thing Kaidou actually got out of the charade was losing his wallet. Poor guy didn't even get to take his train pass back. This new friend of his was pure evil.

'Good grief.' You heard Saiki think at you, 'Good grief, indeed.'

The 'friend' told Kaidou that the Jet Black Wings was a saviour and to come back at the same time tomorrow. Something about not forgetting to do the sworn ally absolution. Panic engulfed you when you heard the doorknob turn.

Looking left to right hurriedly, you barely had a chance to notice that Saiki wrapped a hand around your waist and teleported you inside the room. When your gaze refocused, you realised you were behind some sort of curtain. You had no idea why Saiki didn't decide to handle things on his own, instead opting to take you with him.

'Why couldn't you have just left me out there? I don't want to get involved—' You stopped mid-thought when Saiki looked down at you and glared. The audacity he had! To not only drag you into this mess but to shut you down when you rightfully complained? Meanie. You huffed to yourself in annoyance but stayed quiet nonetheless.

You proceeded to fold your arms over your chest, only to realise that in your exasperation, you hadn't noticed Saiki was still holding onto you. He stepped away, putting distance between you two the second the thought crossed your mind, something you tried not to be hurt over. Why? You didn't quite understand yourself.

You didn't have time to ponder anything else; the guy who scammed Kaidou stole your attention when he spoke up from behind the curtain. "That guy and his stupid fantasies are the best thing ever. He couldn't tell the absolution was my homework! All I had to do was play along with him. I even got the idiot to give me his wallet!" What a disaster. Poor Kaidou got ripped off and taken advantage of, all because of his love for make-believe.

'What a pain. Kaidou, as your one friend, I'm telling you— do a better job choosing your other friends.' The exasperation in Saiki's voice was palpable. How would you break the news to the poor blue-haired boy? That his new friend was a good-for-nothing liar.

The sad excuse of a swindler was still gushing over how he had tricked Kaidou, and you could only shake your head. Would dumping the truth work better? Or hinting at it? Saiki already had a plan in mind, you realised, as the lights turned off in the room. "What the? Who did that?" The scammer asked.

“Dark reunion.”

What happened to the guy in glasses next was not spoken of after.

When Kaidou dragged the both of you to the same room the day after, saying to keep it a secret no matter what— the whole place was trashed, and the words dark reunion were plastered on the wall. The graffiti had been your handiwork.

➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ 

"Hey buddy, ready for the beach? I was walking by, and I saw the last name Saiki on the mailbox, so I figured this must be where ol' Kusuo lives." Nendou stood on the step to Saiki's household, explaining himself as he pointed at the mailbox behind him, a blow-up dolphin in his other hand. He was dressed for the day, clad in a red shirt with floral patterns and shorts.

You made eye contact with Saiki only to get a glare back. You looked off to the side, feeling like you were in trouble. 'Why are you here?' That was an excellent question, indeed. If only you had stayed home, Nendou wouldn't have spotted you on the streets and dragged you along for a day by the seaside. You looked to Saiki again, 'I didn't choose to come here of my own free will.'

You were still somewhat peeved that you didn't get a say in the matter. Nendou had assumed a yes from you and decided for himself that you would accompany him, dragging you by the arm down the streets of your peaceful little town. You hadn't paid much attention to where he was taking you until he neared Saiki's neighbourhood, and before you could steer him in a different direction, he noticed a name on a mailbox. The rest was history.

"Ku— Ku— Kusuo, is this your friend?" For a second, you thought Mrs Saiki was terrified of Nendou. Something you wouldn't fault her for; he did look like a gangster, after all. "He's not my friend." Saiki's comment fell on deaf ears as Mrs Saiki burst into tears, a handkerchief manifesting into her hands out of nowhere. "Oh, dear! My little boy finally has another friend! In less than a week, too— I'm so happy!"

This was definitely one of the reasons why you loved Saiki's mom; she was just too precious. "Sorry girly girl, but me and him ain't friends— we're best buddies!" Mrs Saiki started weeping into her handkerchief again, "Oh, dear! My little boy's finally getting a normal life!" You wanted to comfort her but thought better of it since she was crying tears of joy and not sadness.

"I never knew you had a sister, pal." Nendou's comment practically made Mrs Saiki putty in his hands. She gushed about how the wannabe gangster thought she was young enough to look like Saiki's sister. You couldn't tell if Nendou was buttering her up or if he was being serious. Knowing him, it was probably the latter.

'How many times is he going to make her cry?' Saiki wondered from next to you. 'At least they're tears of happiness.' A warm smile stretched on your lips; the woman needed to be protected at all costs. Movement in your peripherals broke you from your thoughts. You turned to Saiki, who was now standing beside you; looking up at him when you felt his stare on you.

His lips parted as if he was about to say something when Saiki's mom commented that Nendou taking Saiki to the beach sounded like fun. "Uh, yeah, I'm not going." The smile on Mrs Saiki's face disappeared in an instant, and the glare she shot Saiki's way sent chills down your spine. "Your best buddy went out of his way to ask you in person. You're going to the beach, Kusuo."

"Oh, dear."

A snicker fell out your lips, and you immediately covered your mouth with your hand so as to not draw attention to yourself. By then, it was too late; your plans to quietly try and slip away from the group were foiled by your own hands. Mrs Saiki started to gush over you instead, and the plan to spend a lazy day indoors seemed to be further and further away.

➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ 

That's how you and Saiki ended up going to the beach. Kaidou had joined the group as well, a fact you pitied when you observed how much Nendou teased him about being afraid of the water. You watched from your seat on the blanket next to Saiki as Kaidou denied it all, fresh tears in his eyes. "N—no. Th—that's not true. I know how to swim, jerk! I—I'm not afraid of the water." You almost felt bad for him; why was he here again?

'Well, he's turned on the waterworks.' Ironic. Saiki's comment nearly made you choke on your drink, and you coughed. The psychic's hand on your back, patting lightly, surprised you, to say the least, but you welcomed it. Anything to clear your airways. You chalked up the help to him feeling guilty.

You watched as Kaidou proceeded to enter the sea, only to slip and start drowning in inch-deep water. That's when you decided the second-hand embarrassment was too much to handle, standing up to take off your top so you could go swimming.

You stopped in the middle of your task, your crossed hands still clasped around the ends of your top as you turned to Saiki, who stared you down. 'Yes, I'm leaving you here. You're on your own, nerd.' You thought at him, glancing between Saiki and his book. He stayed silent, only glaring at you over his glasses. You could tell what he was thinking already; how could you just leave him to deal with everyone else? Hah— so long, sucker!

You looked from Saiki to Hairo whose pants had slipped when he ran to save Kaidou from drowning, Nendou— who stared at the other girls on the beach with a blush and smirk on his face, then back to the psychic.

'Yeah, I'm not about to watch any more of their shenanigans; I'm out of here.'

You greeted Hairo briefly and walked towards the water in time to overhear that the red-haired boy had decided to volunteer as a lifeguard over the summer. Walking further into the water, you stopped when you couldn't feel the sand underneath your feet and started to swim further out until the voices of your classmates sounded distant enough that you couldn't make out the words.

Sighing, you floated on your back and stared up at the sun. The weather was way too warm, and you hated the heat because of how it caused you to sweat. At least now you could have some peace and quiet; your social battery had run out a while back.

The silence didn't last long, you felt a ripple in the water and opened one eye, only to realise the cause was Saiki. He sat on a blue swimming donut that had sun patterns on it. That's when you noticed he was shirtless, only wearing his yellow swimming trunks, and you tried not to stare, opting to look at the beach instead, coughing awkwardly.

You watched as a group of girls ran across the sand— Nendou not far behind, chasing them. "I don't want people knowing I'm with him." You had to agree with Saiki; being associated with Nendou was never a good thing. Looking away from the girls fleeing in terror on the beach, you turned back to the young esper.

'I get that— but why did you have to come here?'

'I draw less attention when I'm with you than when I'm by myself.'

'So, you're using me?'

‘...Don’t make it weird.’

When you made the comment, your mind had not been in the gutter, but now it certainly was. There was a brief pause before Saiki looked back at the beach. He sighed and closed his eyes— then he tilted his float sideways until his body crashed against the water. You shot up, no longer floating on your back. You kicked your legs to stay above the waves and looked around to see if you could spot Saiki who was no longer on the water donut.

'You won't find me, I'm all the way at the bottom. When I want to be alone or get some serious thinking done, I come down here. I find the seafloor relaxing.'

You jumped in your skin at the sound of his voice in your head. You raised an eyebrow to yourself when your brain registered what he had said. You didn't get the chance to reply to him, the sound of Nendou shouting stealing your attention.

"Saiki! You going pee-pee?!"

'Oh man, next time, I'll have to go deeper. Better go back before they start looking.'

You stopped paying attention to what Saiki was thinking at you when you noticed a girl in the water. Was she... She was drowning!

Your body moved before you could think. The water around you splashed violently as you started swimming, trying to get to her as fast as you could. You heard Nendou and Kaidou in the distance. Now hang on a minute, you swore the blue-haired boy had no idea how to swim— how had he made it this far out? As if on cue, Kaidou started drowning as well and you watched in horror.

You relaxed somewhat when you watched Nendou save the idiot, carrying him on his back. By then, you had made it to the girl, the other two boys still making their way towards you. You tried to grab onto her to save her, only for her to jump on you in her panic. She clawed her way up, trying to get on your shoulders. You realised then that both of you were screwed. "Calm down—" You didn't get to finish your sentence as you felt your body give way under her weight, water filling your mouth instantly.

You ended up underwater along with the girl, your legs spent and tired. Surely, this wasn't how things ended. You had so much left to do— so many sites to see! Your mind went into overdrive as you sank deeper.

When you felt something brush against your feet under the water, you nearly lost all your composure; the safety of your classmates and the random girl next to you was no longer your priority.

You calmed down when you recognised the pink underneath the clear waves. 'What a pain. Everyone around me is so needy.'

Saiki placed his hands on your waist and effortlessly lifted you up until your head was above water. Your fight or flight kicked in, adrenaline pumping through your veins, and your legs started kicking lightly to keep you afloat. You looked around until your eyes landed on Nendou, who was standing on the water as if it was a solid surface, with Hairo, Kaidou and the drowning girl from earlier on his back.

"What? Nendou, you're walking on water!" Hairo exclaimed as he looked down. "When'd you learn how to do that?!" Kaidou chimed in, and you already knew the answer. It was Saiki, using his strength to lift them all so they wouldn't drown. You watched as all four of them sped off towards the sand.

'See? I told him he'd have more luck walking on water than picking up girls.'

You snorted to yourself at Saiki's comment before tilting your body so you were on your back, letting the waves carry you as you caught your breath. You closed your eyes, exhaustion kicking in as the adrenaline ran out— only to open when you felt the water move, making you rock.

You opened your eyes, squinting as the sun invaded your gaze, only for you to see Saiki. He turned around in the water, showing you his back, "Get on. I'll carry you to the beach." His closed statement left no room for discussion, and even if you had it in you to retort, you were too tired to argue.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, mindful not to squeeze too hard and rested your head on him as he swam you back to the beach. You tried not to pay attention to how close the two of you were or how you could feel his body heat since he didn't have a top on.

After throwing your top back on, you watched as the girl who nearly drowned you apologised to Nendou. "Sorry I joked about how ugly your face is." She said and you guessed it was her way of thanking him for saving her.

"Hmph, I'm glad you didn't ask for her number in return for your heroics," Kaidou said, giving the wannabe gangster a nod of approval as you all packed to leave. "Heh, I try to be a gentleman, but if that hottie fell in love with me, I'm not gonna turn her down," Nendou replied, closing his eyes as if he was proud. You had to give it to him, the man had confidence. You walked alongside Saiki as the group left Hairo and the girl.

"She wouldn't," Kaidou whispered under his breath, a smirk on his face. Nendou whipped his head around to shout at him. "What'd you say?!" The day at the beach ended and finally, you could go home

➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ 

bonus:

 After the four of you got back in town, Nendou and Kaidou split off so they could head home. Truth be told, that was the plan for you as well until Saiki stopped you.

 "Do you want to come back to my house?" You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow at him at the suggestion. You were sure he thought of you as a nuisance like everyone else, yet here he was inviting you to his place.

  "Don't get any weird ideas. Mom told me to bring you back for dinner. She likes having you around." Mrs Saiki hadn't specifically told him to bring you back, but Saiki did know that she liked your company. A small smile graced your face at the sentiment. Being liked by someone else's parents was a different type of validation. You shrugged and walked beside him back to the Saiki Household, the day not yet over.

➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵       ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵ ➵

next part - alexithymia  

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[charliedawn]

Hi! I have a request! (I won't be mad if you choose not to write it, you do you)

Since the slashers can't leave the facility, how would they take you on a date? I feel like Freddy would take you on a date in your dreams, etc. Please include Penny! He's my favorite!!! Love your work, and hope you have a blessed day! ❤️

Penny would make a whole world appear just for you. He is not as powerful within the hospital as he’d normally be, but he could still make a pretty good illusion for you.

He’d probably make you see what you want and make sure you have as much fun as possible. He’d dig into your head for all of your most personal desires.

He’d also take as many opportunities to know you better and satisfy his curiosity as to why you’d ever want him too.

Penny *tilts his head curiously at you* : "Humans are so odd. Your hearts beat so loudly when you are afraid…But, yours has a different sound to it."

You *surprised* : "Really ? How does it sound ?"

Him *presses his ear against your chest to hear it closer and closes his eyes* : "…Different." *giggles* "Good different."

Arts and crafts. Jason love carving wood and making bird houses. He brought his passions with him when he first entered St Louis. He’d be excited to show you his masterpieces and show you how to do it.

You’d be sitting side by side while using your hands to try multiple different shapes, but would be careful as to not let you get hurt with the knife when you’d try to carve things.

Jason *smiles proudly while showing you his last wooden piece of work*

Jason isn’t comfortable sharing anything about himself so…It’d be a huge honour. He’d also show you his collection of frogs and let you pet them if you want.

He’d also hold your hand and show you his face if you’d want.

Jack is a pretty standard guy when it comes to dating. He was kind of the popular kid and did date a lot in his younger years.

He’d normally go for the classic cinema and restaurant. But, as he is trapped in the hospital…He’d do with what he’s got.

Netflix and chill.

He’d ask the other slashers not disturb the both of you as you take over the TV room and eat snacks together.

Jack *pretending to be yawning before lowering his arm over your shoulders to caress the skin with his thumb*

You *smile knowingly* : "Really ?"

Him *smiles and shrugs* : "…Hey. Am a big fan of the old technics…is it working ?"

You *smile before leaning back against him* : "~Maybe."

Pennywise would let you drag him anywhere, but he’s the type to not like big crowds so…the fact that he can’t go out won’t really be a problem.

He’d be just as happy staying inside and have some time with you. But, don’t expect him to have many date ideas.

Pennywise never dated anyone before, so he’d just let you decide or let you sleep on his lap. Tops.

However, he may sing you to sleep.

And his voice is really soothing when he hums while rocking back and forth on his rocking chair.

Pennywise *starts humming while holding you close and stroking your hair*

You : "…I thought you didn’t like people touching you ?"

Him *smiles* : "Guess you must be the exception, huh dollface ?"

Norman is a gentleman. He’d be holding you and gently swing you back and forth in his arms.

He’d be dancing a waltz with. Or cooking you a good meal. His mother taught him how to be a good cook and to always be as respectful and nice as he can be.

So, he’d also be the type to buy you dinner and buy scented candles and roses for the occasion. And he’d always ask you if you’d had a good time at the end.

Norman *holding you close* : "Was it alright ?"

You *smile and wrap your arms around his waist* : "Perfect."

He’d then smile and let out a relieved sigh.

Norman was taught to be perfect. He would be devastated if you didn’t have fun or didn’t enjoy your time with him.

Freddy can date. But, the dates he went on in the past weren’t exactly heartfelt. He just never got emotionally connected with someone enough to care.

So, he’d try simple at first.

Freddy would either invite you to get a drink or offer to take a look at his garden. Let’s not forget he used to be a gardener. So, he does love flowers.

He’d then wait until it gets dark to ask you if you want him to try something on you.

Freddy never used his powers for anything else than pain or to kill. So, he’d be nervous when first trying to think of the perfect dream date.

Freddy *smiles nervously before taking your hand* : "Trust me ?"

You *smile back* : "Always."

He’d then get inside your head and put his plan into motion. He’d be careful not to hurt you of course and try to make it as perfect as he can.

Because he knows you trust him. And that is something Freddy never got from anyone but the kids he used to love…before they betrayed him.

Bo : "…Beer ?"

Bo is a simple man. It’d normally be a truck ride and drinking beer while looking at the sky, or at whatever is around.

But, as he can’t really leave the facility…he’d just ask you to join him in the courtyard of the hospital to have some s’mores and look up at the sky.

No conversation necessary. But, he’d be happy either way.

Bo : "Thanks fer…Ya know…Sayin’ yes to the whole thing…"

You *smile and shrugs* : "No need. Believe it or not…I like hanging out with you, Bo."

Bo *is stunned before chuckling and handing you a cold drink of your choice* : "Whatever you say, darlin’…"

Bo would be happy to hear it, even if he wouldn’t believe it at first.

Because Bo has always been the failure of his family.

So, why would you ever like his company ? But, he’d let himself dream for a bit. Just for a moment.

Brahms would give you his favourite toys and ask you to play with him. He’d also share his favourite snacks with you and watch cartoons with you.

Brahms is a child at heart and he’d be happy to do anything with you, as long as he spends time with you.

He’d also insist on staying with you for the night.

Brahms *holds you close and starts breathing deeply* : "Nice…day ?"

You immediately understood what he was asking and hugged him back.

You : "Yes. I had a great day. Thank you, Brahms."

He was very happy to hear it and cuddled you closer—even letting you take a peek at his face. He’d become very clingy very quickly.

Brahms has a big fear of being a disappointment and abandonment. So, once he knows you like him ? There’s little chance he’d ever leave you alone.

Michael *A…date ?*

He’d be surprised and even a little nervous at first. Love is a tricky business for Michael, since he technically killed all of the people he ever cared about.

So, he’d be a little worried you’d end up with the same fate.

So, even making him agree to go on a date with you would be tricky.

Michael *frowns and sighs before taking your hand*

You *smile hopefully* : "Is that a yes ?"

Michael *nods after a while*

He’d then lead you to the kitchen and have a little cooking date with him. He knows how to handle a knife and was advised early on to find an activity which would soothe him. He found cooking.

But, cooking with you was different. It felt…better.

Seems like the bogeyman can get lonely too.

Unfortunately, Hannibal Sr. is considered too dangerous to leave his cell most of the time, as he arrived after all the others to St Louis.

So, he’d be either asking you to put on some music for him or to read to him. Two of his favourite things.

Hannibal Sr. *smiles as he tilts his head left and right to the music*

You *smile as you silently observe him* : "Tell me…Why did you ask me on a date ? I mean…You’re always in there. It seems pointless."

Him *stops tilting his head before opening his eyes slowly and smiling at you* : "But, that is precisely the game, my dear. Anticipation makes the deal all the sweeter…"

You : "So…You would rather wait and watch me all day rather than going out on an actual date ?"

Him *chuckles* : "Of course not, my dear…But, even if I never was set free…Spending a lifetime just watching you would be enough for me."

You stared at Hannibal Sr. for a while and he didn’t break eye contact for a second. He had just confessed that he’d be okay with just watching you until the end. And somehow, you believed him.

[mrsjobarnes]

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Summary: Jake and you have been secretly together for 5 months, what is the worst that could happen? 

Jake Sersin x Mitchell!Reader

Word count: 1.8 k 

Warning - 18+, Angst, Fluff, Illusion to Smut

Likes, Comments and Reblogs  are welcome!

Please do not steal my work! 

“Hey, baby, I'm pulling into the parking lot now. Are you sure you don’t want to come clean and tell Bradley?”

“Y/n have you lost your mind? Rooster and Maverick would kill me if they found out I was dating you, and I don’t know about you but I’d like to live” you giggled at what Jake had just said.  

“Okay but if they ask I’m not lying anymore,” you said.

“Deal, at least if they kill me I’ll have witness” you can’t help but laugh at the stupidity of your boyfriend

“If they see how happy you make me, they can’t hurt you. That’s the perk of being the only girl but in all seriousness, it doesn’t matter what they think, you’re my boyfriend and I love you. That’s all that matters” you quickly say your goodbyes and lock your car. As you walk into the bar you look around for your bean pole of a brother. After you spot him you walk over. “Hey, guys this is Maverick's daughter and my sister Y/n!” Rooster said. Everybody went around introducing themselves when Coyote aks the million-dollar question

“Soooo are you like adopted or something because you look nothing like Maverick,” he asks. Rooster goes to answer when you cut him off. 

“Am I adopted Bradley, how could you lie to me?” you say, the group goes dead silent. He rolled his eyes, while Jake bites his lip to keep from laughing. “I’m just kidding, yeah I'm adopted,” you say. Everybody lets out a collective sigh and hardy laugh.

“Long time no see,” said Nat while she gave you a bear hug. “Seriously where have you been? '' she asks. 

“Well unlike you guys some of us have regular 9 to 5 jobs,” you say smiling. 

“Y/n you and I both know you don’t work a 9 to 5,” Bradley says. It’s true you don’t, you’re an elementary teacher so you work overtime quite often. 

“Tis true brother, however winter break is around the corner! Thank god, I love kids but some of these crotch goblins are giving me a run for my money” you say with a serious look. Everyone burst into laughter. Nat offers to buy you a round and you graciously accept. The team goes on to talk about things that you could care less about. All you care about is the joy you see on Jake’s face when he gets to talking about something he is passionate about. You know how your brother feels about Jake. they didn’t have an excellent start to their relationship but he saved, your brother, and dad. They are working on building a relationship, which makes you very happy. 

As the night goes on you end up playing pool with Jake, Bob, Nat, and Bradley. You are bending over for your shot when Bradley asks “what the hell happened to your neck and chest Y/N” he asked with a very concerned tone, ready to beat whoever did that to you. 

“Oh this, it’s nothing.” you try to play it off but Nat interjects and tells Bradley that they are hickeys. Your face turns beet red as you tried to think of a way to change the conversation. Jake starts panicking because of the conversation you had in the car. “So has anyone seen the new episode of house of dragons?” a tv show you knew Bradley liked.

“You’re not getting out of this Y/n,” Bradley says with a stoic look on his face. He has always been super protective over you. He thought that if you were seeing someone you’d tell him. To be honest he was a little hurt. 

“Its, not a big deal, I’m seeing this guy and he got carried away. It’s not my fault I’m irresistible. Plus I’m a grown woman and if you think I look bad you should see him” you say. Jake smile remembering how she got those and why it looks like his abs and back were attacked by a cat. “Now can we move on to why you still have a caterpillar on your lip,” you ask. The group erupts in laughter. Pleased with the fact that he gets to live till tomorrow Jake buys the table a round. While he’s at the bar ordering a girl comes up and strikes up a conversation with him. 

“Oh look, hangman found someone already. He was doing so well too, almost 4 months.” Javy said. Everyone lets out a chuckle.  You turn around and see Jake talking to a girl. You try hard to not get jealous because you know he is a good guy. Before anyone else could comment they saw Jake shut down the girl’s advancements and head toward the table with their drinks. “Whoah Hangman are you sick,” Javy asks. 

Jake furrows his brows “No?” he said questioning why Javy would ask that, then it dawned on him. “Oh I just don’t feel like it tonight,” he said. 

“That’s been your excuse a lot recently, are you sure you’re okay” Javy ask genuinely concerned. Jake felt trapped, he could either fess up or keep lying. He looked at you, hoping you could give him an answer. You look at him as if giving an encouraging nod.  He quickly musters up some courage. 

“I am seeing someone” Jake said with a bashful smile. You smiled as well, although it wasn’t the full truth it was a step in the right direction. The group was silent until Bob congratulated him and said it was about time. The group quickly moved conversations to talk about the most recent football game. 

You walked over to Jake and whispered into his ear “Hey do you want to get out of here and come to my place?” He gave an enthusiastic yes and told the group that he was going to head out. 15 minutes later you also bid your goodbyes to the group and raced to your house to meet Jake. 

As you pulled into your driveway and parked Jake hopped out of his car and raced to you feverishly kissing you. Once he was done he put his hand out asking for your keys. Once he had them he threw you over his shoulder giving your ass a nice smack which elected a moan from you.

—

 You are awoken by the sun streaming through your blinds. You turn over and snuggle into Jake’s chest to hide from the sun’s harsh rays. He brings you closer as if that’s possible. “Good morning darling,” he said with his voice thick with sleep and southern charm, you smile and look up at him. 

“Moring,” you say kissing him, he kisses you back like a man starved. You giggle and straddle him and kiss down his neck when you hear the lock to your front door click and a pair of boots stomping around. 

“Y/n, are you up? You are late to brunch” your dad shouts

“Hurry up im starving” shouts Bradley stomping up the stairs. You quickly look at your clock and see that it’s 12:30. You are 30 minutes late to brunch. 

“Shit shit shit” you whisper as you get off of Jake and try to find a shirt. “Uhh give me a second, i'll be right out” you shout. Whispering profanity and telling Jake to get dressed and hide in the bathroom. It’s too late because Bradley opens the door right as Jake is getting out of bed to put his boxers back on. 

“What the fuck” Bradley yells frozen in the doorway, you hear another round of feet coming up the stairs. 

“What is it, Bradley,” your dad asks sounding super concerned. Once he appears at the door and lets out a grone. They both look ready to kill At this point, but the shock has worn off of you. 

“First of all knock”, you say in a stern tone. “Second of all calm down,lets talk about this when I’m fully dressed” shutting the door in their faces. Looking back a Jake you expect him to freak but he doesn’t he just pulls you in for a kiss. 

“It was nice to know you doll,” he says kissing you again. You roll your eyes and put on some PJs. Once you are both dressed you head downstairs into your kitchen. 

As soon as you walk in they start asking questions. You hold your hand up and say “First of all stop yelling, Second would you all like coffee?” you walk towards the coffee maker and turn it on. Jake stands at the door looking ready to run if they come after him. As the coffee starts to brew you go about making your cup while Bradley and your dad just stare at you knowing not to mess with you until you’ve had a cup. As soon as you’ve taken your first sip they start bum-barding you with questions. “Okay let me start from the beginning you say” walking over to the table and grabbing Jake along the way, as you all sit down. “Jake and I met at the Hard deck 5 months ago, he was very kind and not like how you all described him,” you say looking at Bradley. 

“YOU’VE BEEN DATING FOR 5 MONTHS” Bradley stands and shouts. You give him a look that screams ‘shut the fuck up’ he quietly sits back down and you continue explaining the ins and out of your relationship. Once you are done you all sit in silence while the two men across from you process this new information. “I still don’t like this,” said Bradley. You kick him under the table and glare. 

“I don’t care if you like it, it's my life and I can date who I want,” you say looking at Jake with doe eyes. Bradley just glares at Jake 

“Does he make you happy,” your dad asks. You shake your head yes. “Then that’s all I can ask for, but I swear Jake if you hurt my baby I will kill you,” he said. 

“Yes sir,” Jake said. “She is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love her and would do anything for her.” He said kissing your forehead. You look up at him and snuggle into him. 

“Okay, then that’s all I can ask as a father,” Maverick said sincerely. You smile at your dad and then look at Bradley. 

“I'm not happy that you kept this from me, however, if you are happy then I'm happy. Just keep the PDA to a minimum please,” he said with a small smile on his face. “I'm going to text the group that you don’t have an STI,” he said looking at Jake. 

“What,” the group said collectively. Bradley explained that when Jake stopped sleeping with a new girl every night, the team got concerned and Bob suggested that he may have gotten an incurable STI. They all burst into laughter. 

“Well, why don’t you two get dressed? We can go get food, I'm still hungry and I know Bradley is probably dying” said Maverick, you and Jake agreed and went to get ready. 

“See that didn’t go that bad,” you said, handing Jake some clothes. 

“Wait till they find out that I’m moving In,” he said, kissing your neck.

[houpss]

hey love! I'm in love your recent work like why and how so goooooodddd?!!!

"STRAY KIDS DIED,WHEN PROTECTING YOU" thank you sooo much for writing this I have a request tho. I was hoping that maybe the reader, in their next life would again date the partner they had in the prev life and they get to know how they died and then the reader actually dies protecting them but eventually comes back due to some supernatural power. This way they have their happy ending <3 :D I'm so sorry because im an emo bitch I need a happy ending my heart can't take this pain hehe.... Thanks for reading this !!! lots of loveee

IT IS SO GOOD! I'll change the concept a little and write it a little differently. thanks, love! 🩷🩷🩷

I only did this for Chan and Minho, I probably won’t write it for the rest, but anything is possible!

YOU MET A SKZ IN YOUR NEXT LIFE

P.S. this is an addition to the work (!), in which you promise to find each other in the next life, will you find each other?

Bang Chan

In that life, you died a little later after Chan's death.

In this life you live in Sydney (that's where you died, canonically)

All your life you felt heaviness and as if you were missing something, looking in the mirror you believed that something was wrong with you.

You lived with this feeling for so long, and all your relationships ended with you running away without explanation.

One summer day you went into a cafe to buy yourself an iced coffee.

There you saw him...Bang Christopher Chan. That name lit up in your head..who is it?

You frowned and walked up to this guy who smiled friendly, he was a barista. He asked what you would like to drink, you muttered your order, looking at his face.

How do you know him? What kind of guy? You saw his name on the badge...he's Chris, just Chris.

When he handed over your coffee, you flew out of the cafe, not noticing that he had left his contact number on the cup.

You will notice this already at home, after you find the group Stray kids, popular in 202* no one is alive anymore..stop

Bang Christopher Chan - group leader who died from a bullet wound

Memories burned in your memory, you remember everything perfectly...Channie,your dear Channie!

Tears flowed down your cheeks, after all, you found each other...

you immediately wrote to him asking to meet, you could have met?

○○○

Chan will remember you much later, after your first kiss

You've apologized to him so many times.

Chan adores you just as much as he did in that life

Chan is not just a barista, he is a dancer, he is such a good dancer! his main job is choreography

"You'll be my last love syndrome, Bang."

You are together again, your love is much stronger than death

"I won't let you go, never again"

It's quite strange because you are complete reincarnations of yourself.

Now he will definitely protect you, in any case.

It's so strange to realize that he is around again and he loves you again.

You will live a beautiful and long life

Lee Minho

You died in the illusion of happiness, you were never truly happy after Minho died. Yes, you had children, grandchildren and a husband... but you were never happy.

You died of old age, your last memory was Minho’s face, your sincere love.

You were reborn as a guy, it’s not strange

You're quite popular, but you're unhappy again. handsome and unhappy.

You're in high school, you have a lot of attention from girls and boys, but do you need it?

You're so annoyed by this new guy! and his name is strange..Lee Minho

That new boy in class is so loud and so cocky, he's always picking on you.

He has some kind of addiction to your ass. you're incredibly indignant

Everywhere this Lee Minho, Minho, Minho

You always quarrel with him, you have constant squabbles filled with sarcasm and black humor.

This went on for six months, until in one of the loud quarrels you grabbed his hand, as if memories illuminated you.

Minho understood everything first and stroked your head, and you touched his neck.

“You are meant for me, Y/N" ” he said it in a whisper, calling you by your name from that life, from his mouth it sounds so beautiful.

You hung on his neck without a word and heard his laughter, how is this possible?

He squeezed you tightly and spanked your ass, and you shushed him.

Your relationship is so chaotic that everyone at school was shocked.

You're so loud with him, Minho loves to flirt with you in front of everyone

Let everyone know that you are his

You pull Minho out of every scrape, he loves to create problems around himself.

Your relationship is even full of passion! Minho is so active, and you are too calm.

In this life you will again have three cats and of course their names are Soonie, Doongie and Dori

But you are happy again.

“I will protect you again if necessary” – “Just don’t leave again, I won’t be able to live without you a second time”

[iwoszareba]

Owlcatober 1: Protection

(post-game, demon Woljif, canon-typical violence)

_ _ _

"Listen pal, you pay what we agreed to and we can part as friends. Simple."

Woljif did a background check on this guy and nothing extraordinary came up, just a small fry demon like any other, but something about his nasty grin was saying I'm not very good at poker and I have an ace up my sleeve. 

"And how about I just take what I want? What could you possibly do about that, half-blood?"

Woljif winced, back on Golarion everyone was making a ruckus over his abyssal heritage and when actually in Abyss he got berated over his mortal origins. You just can't please these people, can you?

"I'm a more powerful demon than you ever will be." he hissed.

This dolt was clearly looking for a fight because that was enough to get him raging. He flipped the table that was between them with intention to brawl but big swings of his fists were slow and unfocused, Woljif had no problem dodging around them. In return he was able to send a jolt of magical energy through his fingers to his opponent, making him stagger.

"Last offer. We end this now and you won't get zapped no more."

The big guy let out a gurgling laugh and moved his hand to a dagger on his belt. The moment it was free of its sheath it started to glow with a web of complex runes. One glance was enough to tell Woljif this was bad news. Terrible even. But he had a contingency plan in place.

"You are givin' me no choice."

Woljif grabbed a purple crystal he wore as a necklace and whispered a few words. Several copies of his visage appeared around him and started to run in the demon's direction. As Woljif expected that blade was laced with some powerful magic making even this klutz fight with monstrous speed. Left and right his illusions were vanishing on impact, still it gave him a bit of a head start before the demon noticed him disappear around the corner. Woljif knew this area well by now and could navigate to his advantage for a while but even that was not enough to beat a magically charged demon. A powerful arm grabbed him by his collar and hoisted him up into the air, his legs dangling helplessly.

"You really thought these silly tricks would be enough?"

Woljif wriggled to no effect but there was a grin plastered on his face.

"Enough to buy me some time, sure."

In an instant the dark alley was filled with purple light and the sound of opening portal. The air became dense, shadows grew longer. Demon's eyes opened wider, but he did not turn around, seemingly frozen in place.

A voice came from behind his back.

"I don't know what your deal is but that's no way to treat an honest businessman."

Woljif was unceremoniously dropped to the ground and the demon finally found the courage to swing his weapon at the newcomer. The dagger connected with the flesh.

"Chief!"

Woljif couldn't stop himself from yelling out but the concern seemed unnecessary. While the blade was deep in chief's gut his clawed hands were firmly holding the arm of the confused and terrified demon.

"I accept your sharp gift! In return I decided to spare your lousy life."

In one swift move he pulled the demon closer, now staring directly into his eyes. Claws started digging into skin and muscle beneath.

"Tell others that if anyone tries this shit with Woljif again: I will find you. I will drag the worst nightmares directly from your skulls and I will make them reality. Understood?"

The demon was nodding furiously, tears falling from his eyes as he did.

"Good."

And with that chief released him completely. Woljif has never seen a demon this big run away so fast, you could almost believe he still had the dagger on him.

He got up, dusted himself off and came over to Knave who was licking his lips in contemplation.

"Did he taste any good?"

Woljif asked trying to sound calm. He still thought there was something incredibly weird about feeding on people's fear but hey, at this point what about the chief was normal.

"Not really. The guy was a coward, they are always a little insipid."

I hope I don't taste like that anymore was not a though Woljif expected to have today but he couldn't help himself. But for sure he was not going to ask for confirmation.

"Here." Knave took the dagger out of his stomach with barely a flinch and extended it towards Woljif "That should cover whatever he owed you."

A long moment passed as Woljif just stared at the blade, both of them standing there in awkward silence.

"Yeah, sorry about the blood."

Knave piped up eventually and started to sheepishly wipe the metal with the edge of his shirt.

"It's not that, chief. I think you should take it as a payment for your help "

"Why? I didn't care about your money before and I don't care about it now."

Woljif was not sure if this was a case of being facetious or genuinely confused. He was no expert on such things but wasn't there some basic rule about fey and debts? And even without that… nothing comes for free. It just wasn't the kind of relationship he wanted to foster with anyone anymore.

"I dragged you all the way here and you helped me out, but I don't want this lingering."

Chief made a thinking expression and tapped the tip of the dagger to his chin twice.

"I see. Well, if you want to repay me you could always do that in stories. That seems like a sensible currency to me. And you always had some fun ones to tell!"

Something at Woljif's core stirred and he had to squash that feeling back down. During the crusade he decided that the two of them can't be anything more than allies… but something about chief's mischievous grin always made him want to smile back. He grabbed once again offered dagger and with a sigh he conceded.

"Deal."

[runawaymazola]

New Life

chapter 5:

| Masterlist | previous | Next |

---------------------------------------

" SM Entertainment… " (Y/N) stared at the wrinkled card name in his hand while standing in front of the JYP building.

You see, the board members offered him a contract IF he showed them what he got to make them believe that (Y/N) is as talented as what Stray Kids said along with their managers.

So, he did. He showed some of the original demos he did before giving them to the 3Rachas for ideas. They were delighted hearing the demos and the beats and decided to give (Y/N) the contract of 1 year to him.

And that's what made him become doubtful with the offer. 1 hecking year? How much songs he could produce? Are they trying to squeeze his mental state? Make him overwork? Trying to produce and write lyrics all the time? The new album took like 3-5 months to prepare but that was after the lyrics and demos produced. But what about when it was from the raw start?

(Y/N) shook his head and was about to call the number on the business card but Chan came running to him, wearing a cap and a mask to avoid the attention of people walking around.

"Hey, how was the meeting? " Chan looked at his cousin with this hopeful eyes that he would work with them but it became sadness once he saw how the young lad in front of him has this doubtful kinda face. He knew he did not like what JYP offered him.

" 1 year contract. sighs i might be going to see if SM could offer me a better contract " (Y/N) looked at him and he nodded understanding. Chan looked down and saw the card in his hand.

(Y/N) raised the card and looked at Chan, waving it a little. " Who knows if they also interested in recruiting me to become their trainee huh? " Chan giggles and pushed his shoulder a little as (Y/N) started to chuckles too. " Having a cousin who is an idol also not that bad huh? Maybe all of us could hear you sing but this time with lots of audiences. "

" Nahh i'm not that good with lots of attention on me. Who knows if i do something embarassing without me knowing? "

" Speaking of that.. Stray Kids has been called Straight Kids on news… " Chan mumbled while having his eyes staring at the road.

" what. "

" A-anyways! Call that number and go to their building! "

. . . . . . . . . . . .

a few sounds of hard breathing could be heard through out the practice room as four girls could be seen in the center of the room panting after the Illusion dance practice.

"could use some cold juice right now.." Giselle spoke up as she stood up wiping her forehead with fresh towel, looking at the rest of the girls.

" I was about to ask for Mr.Lee for some juices but it seems like he got an important call earlier and dashed out of the room! " NingNing said, and leaning her body onto the nearby wall.

" Me and Winter could buy us some juices or mineral water tho. " Karina pulled out her mask and cap from her bag as Winter followed her actions and get ready to go out.

" Okie "

. . . . . . .

" after that, i have not managed to get more win-" Winter tried to tell Karina a story of her trying to solo push in PUBG but Karina pulled her arm as her eyes fixed onto two familiar males at the cafe inside SM.

"What?" Winter frowned and followed Karina's pointed finger towards a direction.

Two men that they saw was their manager and…

" Isn't it the guy who we saw at the yogurt stall?" Winter whispered as she linked her arm with Karina's, both eyes still staring at the both talking males at the cafe. Karina nodded and looked at Winter.

" We did not look that sweaty right? I still smell good right? You smelled good tho" Winter hold onto Karina's shoulders and nodded repeatedly, fixing Karina's long hair and put it rest on her shoulders.

" We're okay. " Both of them nodded to each other and proceeded to walk towards the cafe acting as if the two guys were not there. They casually walked to the counter and looked at the menu while taking a glance at them. They could not handle it but eavesdrop what they were conversing.

" That would be great- " Mr.Lee's eyes went from (Y/N) to the two obvious girls near the counter.

" Oh you two. What are you two ordering? " (Y/N) turned his head to the two girls and swear to god he felt familiar seeing them. But where..?

Seeing that Karina and Winter having their eyes on the new acquaintance, Mr. Lee coughed and started to introduce them three. "Girls, this is (Y/N). (Y/N) these are Karina and Winter. " The girls gave him a small wave as a small smile appeared on their faces.

" Aren't you the one that was from the yogurt stall back in LA? " Winter asked as she put out her hand to shake with (Y/N)'s. "P-pardon..? " Before they could shake hands, Karina's faster than Winter so shake hands with (Y/N) first before Winter could.

"H-hi I'm Ka-karina.. " Winter looked at her and smacked her shoulder, "unnie!"

"ow! What? "

while the two girls are silently bickering with each other,(Y/N) haven't touch a girl's hands before, and now holding.. i mean shaking hands with Karina, he does not want to let it go. It feels like Karina's hand is a missing piece of puzzle that he wanted to keep for as long as he wants to but it cut short when Winter pulled Karina's hand away from (Y/N)'s hold. Karina frowns as she immediately missed the warmth of the latter's hand.

" Anyways guys.. (Y/N) here has a business to do so, he gotta go " Mr.Lee patted (Y/N)'s shoulders and showed him the way to the office he was heading to at the first place after meeting with Mr.Lee. The young lad nodded and bowed to them before taking his leave to the office

" You know him? " Karina started the conversation as they started their way back to the practice room. Giselle and NingNing might have waited for so long for their juices to come

Mr.Lee explained to the two of them about (Y/N) and how he offered him for a job at SM. He felt like he wanted to tease them a little bit about what he just seen earlier at the cafe so he mentioned that (Y/N) wanted to write songs for aespa. Both of them just 'ooh-ed' at the new information and secretly likes it.

" Yah! Where have you guys been?! "

" WHERE'S OUR DRINK"

" Oh shoot we forgot.."

-------------------------------------

taglist (open) : @myouiiiiiiii @beawolfbealionbeyou @ehcyps @1luvkarina

[heroes-of-olympus-next-gen]

Day 3: Christmas cookies

Annabeth entered her house after a long day at the office. She had the illusion that people would ease up for the holidays, but the opposite was happening. Anxious and worried about Christmas, they wanted their houses on unreasonable timelines. Making her life a living hell.

At least her house smelled like heaven. She started walking towards the kitchen where she was sure was the source of the glorious smell. “What’s that smell? Are you making cookies?” She asked as she saw her two toddlers covered in cookie dough and her mother-in-law taking a batch of cookies from the oven.

“It was Percy’s idea. He is upstairs with Theo.” Sally said. “How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you my loves?” She turned her attention to her toddlers who seemed over the moon with their afternoon activity. She walked closer to them paying attention to what they are doing.

“We’re making cookies for Santa.” Zoe replied covered with flour. She was putting all of her energy like making cookies was the most important thing in the world. Well, If you considered how much her dad and grandma loved baking it wasn’t really a surprise.

“Do you want to try some?” Charlie gave her a plate that was next to him.

“Thank you.” She said as she tried one of them. Sally’s Christmas cookies were always heavenly and one of her favourite family traditions. “They are amazing. Good job guys. Do you want me to do anything?”

“Nope.” Zoe added as she focused on the dough in front of her. “You can sit here.” She motioned to the chair next to the kitchen island.

At the same time, Percy came downstairs, holding Theo in his arms. “Hey love. Did you see the cookies?” He quickly kissed her as Theo started reaching out to her. Annabeth took him from her husband’s arms and cuddled him.

“Daddy, you aren’t helping.” Zoe said while Charlie nodded in agreement.

“I’m coming.” Percy put more ingredients to the blender to make more dough. As always her family was going overboard with baked goods. Not that she was complaining as she loved eating them.

“The oven is ready for the next batch.” Sally said as she placed the previous cookies to one of the disks.

Percy reached to get one warm cookie only to hear Zoe’s gasp. “Those cookies were for Santa!” She panicked.

“My darling, the cookies will go stale if we leave them on the plate. Santa won’t come for another week.” Percy tried to calm her down.

“But-but what if we don’t have any cookies left.”

“We’re going to put some aside especially for Santa. Don’t worry.” Annabeth comforted her daughter.

“Okay then.”

At the end of their baking session, they were left with nearly 150 cookies. They had definitely gone overboard. Zoe and Charlie fell asleep on the couch which meant Annabeth and Percy had the kitchen all to themselves.

“I’m going to take some cookies to work. To lift the moods and everything.” Annabeth said as she put twenty cookies to a tin box. “Who’s going to eat all of them?”

“Zoe wants to give cookies to Bianca and to the rest of her preschool. I have already eaten 5.”

“I ate 6.”

Percy looked at her sideways. “How did you eat more than me? I’m impressed. The student has surpassed the master.”

“I was the student?” Annabeth raised her eyebrow.

“And I was the master.”

“Nope, that’s not right. Sally is the master.”

“I see what you did there.”

“Where did you put Santa’s cookies?”

“In the jar on the counter.”

“Speaking of Santa, we have to buy the rest of the gifts.” Annabeth said.

“What do we have left?”

“The lightsabres which will ruin my lamps. The mat for Theo and the doll Zoe wants.”

“We can go tomorrow. I can pick you up after work and then we can go out and eat dinner. My mum can look after the kids.”

“Are you sure? I think we call her way too often.”

“She made it crystal clear that she wants more time with her grandkids. Besides, Zoe and Charlie will be with Colin and Bianca until 6. We don’t have to stay out late. We can go to the Italian Place we wanted to try.”

“Alright. I love you. You know it, right?”

“I’m aware. I love you too, love.”

[purplesong1028]

A Forest Tale

Chapter 4: Control and Trust

!Fox Pacho !Shapeshifter Pacho

Rating: General Audience

Pairing: Chepe/Pacho

Words: 4,715

Chepe almost has a heart attack when he walks into the living room and sees Pacho and Navegante together, each holding a gun.

“Hey! What are you doing?” He shouts at them. It’s too fucking early in the day to deal with this shit.

“Buenos días, patrón.” Navegante smiles, “I’m just teaching your friend how to use a gun.”

“I see you carry one around all the time. I’m curious.” Pacho joins in naturally, still holding a pistol in his right hand.

“He said he never touched a gun, so I thought why not?” Navegante shrugs, as if the most normal reaction to someone who’s never touched a gun is to immediately teach them, in the living room.

“Alright, give me that.” Chepe walks over to Pacho and extends his hand, palm up. Thank God Pacho just gives him the gun without any hesitation or resistance.

He then turns to Navegante. “What are you doing here?”

Navegante spares a short glance at Pacho, silently asking if they can talk business in front of the stranger. Chepe nods, cause what’s there to worry? The guy is literally on his third day of being a person, and doesn’t even understand what coke is.

“Gilberto wanted to meet for lunch at his place, 1 pm, to talk about that recent incident.”

“You mean the warehouse fire?” Pacho cuts in out of nowhere, taking both of them by surprise.

“You know what,” Chepe rolls his eyes, and gives Pacho a gesture to the corridor, “why don’t you let us have this conversation privately?”

“Sure, I’ll just go hang out by the pool.”

Navegante watches Pacho leave like he’s trying to find some answers by just looking. “Does he work for us?”

“Not really, don’t worry about it,” He dismisses the question, “did Gilberto say anything else?”

“Yeah, he asked if that guy said anything else before he died, anything at all that could be useful.”

Chepe thinks back about the interrogation. He asked all the questions he needed to ask, and the guy certainly didn’t share anything else voluntarily. But maybe…

“Not that I can think of right now.” He says, better not to promise anything before he’s certain. “If I have something else I’ll bring it up later at lunch.”

“Yes, patrón.” Navegante then takes a step closer like he’s offering a secret. “Do you want us to keep an eye on your new friend?”

What? What the fuck does he mean by that? There’s something super weird with the way he said your new friend, not like Navegante isn’t always fucking weird, but it just feels even more unsettling than usual.

“Why?”

“No reason.” Navegante shrugs, “No one has seen him around before, so I thought it was better to be careful.”

Yeah, absolutely not. He can’t imagine what fiasco it will lead to if they get multiple people to actively observe Pacho every day!

“No, that’s not necessary. I know him, it’s all good.”

“Ok then.” With that, Navegante simply nods and walks away without saying anything else, or saying goodbye.

Chepe sighs deeply and pours himself a large cup of coffee, and then makes his way to the pool.

*

“Is that an illusion again?” He sits down next to the pool chair Pacho’s lying on. “I don’t remember buying you swimsuits yesterday.”

“It is.” Pacho takes a sip from a coconut, and Chepe wonders if he got it himself or asked a maid to bring him one.

“What do you think? Is it realistic?”

“What?”

“The swimsuit illusion! I haven’t seen a lot of these, so I can only come up with the most basic design.” Pacho traces the edge of his simple white super tight fake speedo, likely with very innocent intentions, but still, the action itself is so daring and straightforward that it just looks wrong, even to him.

“Yeah it’s fine.” He quickly moves his eyes somewhere else. “We can go get you more clothes later this week, but now I need to ask you something.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“About the guy we dealt with yesterday, did you see anything else when you were in his brain?”

“I took his soul, didn’t I?” Pacho grins proudly. “I know everything about him now.”

He didn’t know that was how it worked. Why would he? But nevertheless that’s great news, and at this point he’s starting to get used to not understanding whatever Pacho does. “Great, so? Do you know anything else relevant?”

“Relevant to the fire?”

“Yes, or anything about what they’re doing, like if they mentioned us in any way?” Chepe tries to find the right words, but it’s not easy to explain all that to someone who knows nothing about their business, or Cali, or Escobar. “Alright, how about this? Did he have any other recent interactions with La Quica?”

“Yeah, they’ve talked quite a few times.” Pacho closes his eyes, and he looks so serene like that, almost harmless, which is unfairly deceptive. “Do you want me to tell you about all their conversations? That would take a while.”

“Not all of them. How about when they mention us? Me, Gilberto or Miguel.” Now that he thinks about it, it’s probably not common for Escobar’s sicarios to refer to them individually. They’ve always been a team. “Or Cali, when they mention Cali.”

“Cali?” Pacho repeats it with a little smile, like he finds the word funny somehow. “Is that what you call yourselves?”

Technically yes, but not like that. They’re not some fucking boy band!

“It’s what our organization is called.” He answers patiently. “It’s also the name of this city, if you don’t already know.”

“Oh I know. That’s why I think it’s funny.” Pacho opens his eyes again, the beautiful hazel color is covered by a shade of gold under the sun. “Wait, do you guys represent the city or something?”

Chepe bursts out laughing. That couldn’t be further from the truth, well, at least not officially, but maybe the fox man is onto something here. They’re pretty much the first thought that comes to mind when someone mentions Cali to the cops or gringo DEAs, but that’s certainly not the kind of representation this city wants.

“No, we don’t represent this city at all!” He says, in the middle of laughing. “Hey, we’re the bad guys, remember?”

It’s supposed to be a joke, a callback to what they talked about yesterday, but Pacho seems to take it very seriously. “And the people who do represent the city, are they the good guys?”

“Wow, shit.” Chepe actually has to take a while to think, not about the answer, but how to answer it. “Your questions are getting more annoying everyday. You know that?”

“Really? Why?”

That is even more difficult to answer than the previous question, so Chepe skips back to that.

“They aren’t the good guys either.” He knows that for sure. How many people from the government have not taken their money? “Or maybe a few are, more or less, but overall? Not really.”

“So who are the good guys?”

“You know what? It’s just more complicated than that.” Chepe takes a sip of his forgotten coffee, which is starting to get cold now. “Remember what you said yesterday? I’m good to you, but that doesn’t make me good. Sometimes it all depends on who you ask.”

Pacho makes a low hum and looks away, tapping absent-mindedly on the coconut, seemingly very much occupied with the thoughts on morality. He wonders if the interest comes from simple curiosity or something deeper, something more intellectual or practical. Maybe understanding humans better would make it easier for Pacho to manipulate minds, or even take more souls?

He shakes that thought out of his head. This isn’t the right time. For now, he needs to get them back on track and find out more about Escobar’s plans before meeting with Gilberto.

“Ok, enough with this boring stuff for today.” Chepe puts down his coffee, and also takes the coconut away from Pacho’s hands. “I still need you to tell me more about what that guy knew, remember?”

“Of course,” Pacho rolls to the side, now completely facing him, and Chepe can’t help but notice how extremely noticeable his human parts are under that fake tight speedo. “So I’m thinking, since I don’t know exactly what you’re looking for, I can just share what I know with your mind, directly.”

“You can do that? Like, transferring data between two computers?!”

“I have no idea what you just said.”

Right. Of course.

“That’s fine. So how does it work exactly?”

“You give me access to your mind, and I let you see what I know.”

So basically he’ll need to let Pacho go into his brain again, and that’s not a pleasant idea at all. He saw what happened to that guy yesterday! Who in their right mind would willingly put themselves in that situation?

“I know you don’t like it, but it’s the easiest way, and it’ll only take a few minutes.” Pacho explains, trying to persuade him, but then his face changes, like he suddenly realized something he didn’t know before. “Are you…are you worried that I might hurt you?”

The question doesn’t sound like an accusation, far from it. It sounds confused, offended and even a little painful, like the possibility of him believing Pacho might hurt him already hurts Pacho in turn.

His first instinct is to deny it, to brush it over like he usually does when things get too personal. He already did it multiple times in the past two days, but part of him wonders how much longer that’s going to work. After all, what’s in front of him is more powerful than anyone he’s ever met, and it can literally read minds for fuck’s sake, so as much as he doesn’t want to admit, he can’t possibly avoid talking about emotions forever.

Chepe sighs deeply and looks into Pacho’s eyes, the same way Pacho does when he’s about to do the magic things.

“Alright, look, you need to really think about this. I’ve known you for what, three days? You with your illusions, your mind control and your soul sucking thing, all of that is pinche loco, ok? If I tell anyone else about any of that, they’d think I’ve gone insane!”

Pacho’s lips curve up into a subtle smirk, and Chepe just knows that he takes that as a compliment.

“Don’t you think it’s normal for me to not trust you yet, hmm? If I trusted people that easily, I’d have been dead a long time ago.”

“So what you’re saying is my powers make me a natural threat.” Pacho shifts on the pool chair to sit up, looking a lot more serious, like he’s really thinking hard about this, which is good. “What do I need to do to make you trust me then? Because I will always have my powers.”

“It’s hard to say, but trust often comes with time. People show their true colors eventually.” That’s true for everyone else, but Pacho can literally hide his true colors if he wants to. However, he knows it’s not smart to bring that up now, since it seems to close all doors for potential future trust, so he decides to test it out with a joke. “Unless one day you just decide to erase all my memories or something.”

Pacho laughs out, his posture instantly relaxed from the seriousness earlier. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t do that. I would like you to remember me.”

“And I don’t mind the time. I have plenty of that.” Pacho picks the coconut back up and sucks on the straw. “So are we on the same page?”

Chepe can feel himself smiling as he speaks. “I believe so.”

“Then let’s try that! Let me get in your mind. How would you ever know you can trust me without trying?” Pacho suddenly moves a lot closer, almost climbing to his chair.

“Hey, stop that! What are you doing?” Chepe holds him firmly on the shoulders, stopping him from leaning in more. No, they are not getting this close when Pacho’s nearly naked, fully naked actually! Fuck no! “Why do you need to do that? Can’t you just look at my eyes or something?”

“Well yeah, it’s just easier to hold the gaze from this angle, never mind.” Pacho blinks innocently, but retrieves back to his own chair anyway. “Ok, now you can look at me.”

*

At times like this, Chepe wonders if those eyes are mesmerizing because of the magic they carry, or simply because they’re that beautiful. Honestly, maybe both.

“Do I need to do something?”

“No, just relax. This is all me.”

Then something happens. The best way he can describe it is that the reality folds in on itself, and he’s suddenly standing in his own brain. That doesn’t make sense at all, but to his pleasant surprise, it’s not a bad feeling at all. He doesn’t feel like he’s being controlled or invaded. He can still feel himself; in fact, he’s never been more aware, more conscious of himself.

“See? Told you it’s not bad!”

He hears Pacho’s voice again, but not in front of him, more like surrounding him, coming from all directions at once.

“Yeah…this is fucking cool.” Did he speak in his mind only? Or did his body also speak? He doesn’t know.

Pacho laughs, pure and joyous like a happy kid. Was this what he did to their prisoner yesterday too? Did that guy also feel so blissful and relaxed before his soul got sucked out of him? If so, honestly that’s not a bad way to go at all.

“Alright, so here are his interactions with La Quica, I’m going to show you slowly, one by one.”

The scenery around him changes, like he’s suddenly transported to the streets in Medellín. He sees everything: the old buildings, the cars, people walking around, yet they’re all blurry like random backgrounds in movies that people don’t pay attention to. Maybe that’s exactly why. He’s seeing this piece of memory the exact way it was being remembered.

“Ay lobo!” La Quica shows up, putting his arm around the guy. “You made it! Come, I’ll show you my favorite one here!”

Lobo? The Wolf? This guy was the wolf, seriously? Judgment aside, Chepe keeps following the memory as they walk into a worn down house in a back alley, and the door opens into…a bunch of women with heavy makeup?

Wait…

“Quica!” A girl with pink hair puts her arm around La Quica’s arm, rubbing her boobs on him. “Where have you been? I’ve missed you!”

“What the fuck?” Chepe snaps, “No! Get that out of here!”

*

The space surrounding him becomes empty again momentarily, and then follows Pacho’s calm voice. “This isn’t what you’re looking for?”

“No! I told you to only include ones where they mention us!”

“They did mention Cali later.”

Part of him doesn’t even want to know how that plays out, but guess he has to, but again, it doesn’t mean he wants to look at it. “Fine, then just tell me what they said.”

“A lot. They were basically talking about the plan to burn down your warehouse.”

So these guys talked business right after fucking their whores? Great, why was he even surprised?

Chepe sighs heavily. “Ok, then can we just skip to that part?”

“Of course.” Pacho agrees so easily that he has no idea why they couldn’t have just done that in the first place.

*

The scenery slowly comes back again. He’s still in the same area, but a different house. It seems like one of their safe houses, or secret meeting spot. They’re sitting in a gloomy basement, with beer bottles and ashtrays on the wooden table.

“Ready for tonight?” La Quica asks, while lighting a cigarette.

“Yeah, we have more men than them. We burn these motherfuckers down.”

“Have you done that before, brother? Burn down a building?” La Quica laughs, completely relaxed, even a little excited. “If you shoot a motherfucker, he dies and that’s it, but fire?”

The sicario inhales deeply, and then slowly blows out the smoke. “Fire is the shit, man.”

Strangely, Chepe understands exactly what he means. The magnificence of it, slow yet massive, a tiny spark gradually building up to complete destruction.

The Medellín aren’t the only people who love fire.

“Here, we go through the woods, making a shortcut,” La Quica points at a large map on the table, “there might be people patrolling, so we either go around them or kill them.”

These motherfuckers did end up killing three of their men there, and by the time they found out, the warehouse was already caught on fire. They should definitely increase security in that part of the woods, which seems like a weak spot.

The conversation is still going on as they discuss details of the attack, but there’s nothing new at this point, since he already knows what happened that night.

However, just when Chepe’s about to tell Pacho to get him out, he notices something interesting on the map. It’s a faint mark in another area of the forest, not the same direction as the warehouse.

Does Cali have anything in that area? No, he knows everything they’ve built, from warehouses and labs to safe houses, and nothing is located around there. So why was it marked out? Is it a simple mistake? Just something irrelevant?

“Can you make the map bigger?” He asks Pacho.

“I don’t think so, sorry. This was how he remembered it.”

“Ok, then let me out. I need to do something.”

The scenario starts to fade out, and soon enough, the real world is once again in front of him. Chepe blinks a few times, squinting a little under the bright sunlight. He feels entirely normal, like nothing happened at all, which is actually weird considering the situation. He looks at his watch, and only less than five minutes has passed.

*

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m good!” Chepe take a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air. “It doesn’t feel like anything at all.”

“You shouldn’t. Unless I intentionally make you tired or miserable, you won’t feel anything.” Pacho stretches in his chair like a content large cat. “Not that bad, right?”

He would like to know more, like how exactly Pacho can make someone miserable or happy, whether it’s by invoking their own memories or creating raw emotions, but right now he needs to solve the issue on his hands first.

“It was very helpful, thank you, but now I need to figure out what that mark on the map means.”

He gets up to leave the pool area, but Pacho also gets up to follow him. “I know where it is. I know the forest around here pretty well.”

Actually that’s a good point. Who would know the forest better than someone who had literally lived there for hundreds of years?

“Alright, then come!” He nods at the door with a smile. “But put your clothes back on first.”

*

Chepe lays a map flat on the desk, but Pacho seems a lot more interested in the antiques in his office, from the pair of porcelain vases to small art crafts on the shelf.

“You didn’t make those, right?”

He snorts, “What do you think?”

“Probably not,” Pacho walks over to the desk, “doesn’t feel like you.”

He’s not sure if he hears a subtle teasing tone in these words. He doesn’t care if there is, but he’d be impressed with how fast this magical creature is picking up the more complex human mannerisms.

“So here is our warehouse, and they came this way, but here,” he makes a big circle with the red marker, “why did they mark it here?”

“Let’s see, give me a minute, I’m just trying to understand this.” Pacho carefully traces the map with fingertips, and it occurs to him that this might be the first time Pacho ever sees a map.

“We are here.” He points at where they are currently, and then at the marked location of their warehouse, “and this is where the fire was.”

“Oh, so basically it’s a smaller version of what everything looks like from above?”

“Sure, that’s one way to put it.”

“Alright, in that case,” Pacho slowly moves his hand to the unknown marked location, “if someone wants to get to the warehouse, I think they can go from here. It’s like a shortcut.”

“Wait what? From there?” That can’t be right. They’ve carefully surveyed the area before building anything in the forest, just so they can always find the most secure location. Besides that, he goes into the woods himself all the time, and he has never found a direct way between these two points. “I don’t think so. There’s like a fucking cliff in between.”

“Right, the small cliff is around here.” Pacho takes the marker from his hand and draws a line. “But there’s a specific part of that cliff that’s accessible. A lot of animals walk up and down there all the time. It’s still dangerous for humans I think, but it’s doable.”

“So you’re saying they can literally climb down a fucking cliff to get to the warehouse?”

“Maybe? But they might also fall down and die.”

Honestly, that would make sense. Maybe they discussed the possibility but decided not to take the risk. But still, that cliff? Seriously? He has to go there again himself just to see what the hell Pacho’s talking about.

Pacho puts down the marker and looks up at him expectantly. “So? Is this helpful?”

“Yeah, very much so!” He laughs and pats Pacho on the shoulder, which makes the other man immediately tense up, and then he remembers Pacho’s whole deal about not being used to touching humans.

“Right, sorry,” He drops his hand a bit awkwardly, “still not used to that?”

“Yeah, but it’s just a reaction. I don’t really mind you doing it.”

“What exactly do you feel?” Now he’s actually curious. What makes a simple touch have so much impact? “Does it hurt you or something?”

“No, I guess I don’t feel it much differently than how you feel it.” Pacho touches him on the shoulder in return, like that’s supposed to make a point somehow. “But just more intensely, since all my senses are better than humans’.”

“Oh.” His vocal cord kind of makes a sound on its own, and he doesn’t know how to respond. Better senses, isn’t that just…more sensitive?

“Is that bad?”

He snorts, “Not necessarily, I guess.” But there’s no way he’s getting into details about that now, or ever. “It might become a good thing, when you learn how to use it someday, to enjoy it even.”

“Yeah, maybe I will someday.” Pacho smiles unsuspectingly, but then meets his eyes with a slightly hesitant look. “But can you do me a favor? For now?”

He almost wants to say no immediately, because there’s no way this is heading in a good direction. But if he refuses, it will only raise more questions, so eventually he decides to give Pacho the benefit of the doubt. “What favor?”

“Can you just touch me on my shoulder again? And arm too?” Pacho puts his own palm on his left shoulder, massaging it a little. “I see people do that to each other a lot, especially guys, so I want to get used to it sooner than later. I don’t want to look weird that way.”

“Oh yeah, sure.” He relaxes immediately. Alright, that’s actually nothing. What the hell was he thinking?

“Ready?” He raises his hand.

“Yeah.” Pacho nods, and even leans his arm closer to him.

Chepe gently placed his palm on Pacho’s left shoulder, feeling the strong, tense muscles underneath. Everything is so authentically human, and he doesn’t know why he was expecting something else, something more novel, something better in a way.

“Is that alright?” He moves down along the upper arm slowly, and everywhere his hand travels to, he feels the muscles tense up and then relax after a few seconds.

“Yeah, it’s ok.” Pacho exhales, and then laughs out like he suddenly finds the scenario ridiculous. “It’s actually nothing. I don’t know why I was nervous about it.”

“Well, you did just get this body three days ago, didn’t you?” Chepe gives his triceps a few solid pats, and then moves away. “Don’t worry. I’d be uncomfortable with it too.”

“Wait.” Pacho suddenly reaches over to grab him again, taking him by surprise. “There’s one more thing I want to try.”

Before he could react, Pacho leans in and pulls him into a hug.

*

It wasn’t tight at all, and actually feels quite tentative, but it’s so warm with Pacho’s slightly higher body temperature, and he doesn’t know if that’s how it is, or if it’s because the other man is nervous.

“I see humans do this too, when they are close to each other.” The smooth voice is right next to his left ear, hot breath blowing on his earlobe, brushing his neck. Chepe freezes, like he’s controlled by another form of magic carried by physical touch. He opens his own arms to hug back and tries not to overthink, and not to notice the elevated heartbeat against his chest.

He doesn’t know whose heart is beating fast.

Does Pacho even have a human heart? Does it even beat?

“I’m sorry.” Pacho pulls away a little, probably notices his stiffness. “Was I not supposed to do that?”

“No! No, it’s fine.” Chepe pulls him back in and gives him a nice, right hug like a friend, a brother, although deep down, he’s not sure what he’s trying to convince himself of.

Chepe pats him on the back, using slightly more force than usual. Nothing he does can hurt this creature anyway, so there’s no need to be careful. “If you want a hug, at least do it properly.”

“And this is a proper one?” Pacho pats him on the back in return, with the exact same force which almost makes him cough, but he swallows it down.

“…Yup, there you go!”

They stay like that for a short while, no more than a minute, but it feels significant, and it is significant, at least to Pacho. It is the guy’s first hug after all. But it’s still interesting to think about it from that perspective, because that’s not even something meaningful to humans, is it?

He doesn’t remember his first hug, and he’s pretty sure no one else does. Hug isn’t seen as a big deal like kiss or sex, so it’s refreshing to see it meaning so much to someone. In a way, it’s even moving.

“Thank you, Chepe.” Pacho finally pulls away, and his eyes have never seemed more vivid, more human. “I’m glad I did that with you first.”

That definitely sounds fucking weird, but the worse part is he doesn’t even know how to explain to Pacho why it’s weird. “It’s not a big deal, but don’t put it like that.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“…You’ll learn later.”

“Alright,” thankfully Pacho doesn’t get fixated on this one, “it was nice though, I mean it.”

“And I mean don’t worry about it.” He looks at his watch, and it’s already 12:40. Navegante should be here to drive him to Gilberto’s place in a few minutes.

“You need to go somewhere?”

“Yeah, meeting with Gilberto and Miguel.” He doesn’t need to share that, but he thinks he should, or at least he doesn’t mind after Pacho helped him to make a major discovery. “You’ve helped a lot, so thank you.”

“Well, don’t worry about it.” Pacho mimics his tone with a teasing smile. “That’s the deal, right? You help me, I help you.”

“Sounds fair.”

There are a few knocks on the door, and Chepe opens the door to one of his guards standing outside with Navegante. He nods at Pacho and walks out. He doesn’t feel the need to leave specific instructions anymore. The house’s probably not going to burn down if he’s gone for a few hours.

He doesn’t see Pacho’s smirk after he’s gone.

Tag list: @ashlingiswriting @narcolini @drabbles-mc @mandaloria314 @yourlocalspacewitxch @cherixrosa @cositapreciosa @criatividad-e @alreadywritten @sikkui @dashavau @mon-capuccino @amane-otaku (let me know if you want to be added or taken off the tag list of this story)

[fabdante]

MORE reboot thoughts because I'm having fun with it:

-I keep thinking of Dante squatting in the abandoned remains of Paradise after the events of the game, when he's in a bad headspace and self isolating. Maybe feeds the local stray cats, too, and has kinda adopted a black cat as his own.

As a more positive thing: I also like the idea of him rebuilding the place as some kind of homeless shelter or halfway house- but one of the good ones, warded against demons and cops alike. Or maybe him giving it to Kat and them forming a new Order (maybe renaming it the Protectors, like from DMC2?) there.

I'm not sure where he'd get the money and manpower to rebuild the place, tho, unless he got a hold of Vergil's wealth or somehow made enough to buy the place (assuming Vergil didn't already buy it). There'd still be so many issues with paperwork. It's not like he can exactly prove that he's supposed to inherit the place, even if Sparda and Eva willed it to him. I'm not sure if he could even buy the place or run it how he'd want to, given his criminal record. Same issue with Kat's criminal record. But its still a nice idea.

Could also see Dante just going "fuck the paperwork" and warding the place against demons and veiling it from the cops* and letting (as much as he can of) the local homeless population just turn the place into a tent city. Not as good as actually having the place fixed up and running as something official, but its better than just letting all that space go to waste.

Not sure how much Dante would actually do this one, tbh, since I'm not sure how comfortable he'd be letting people in to his old home. Even if there's nothing really left there but ash and memories and his parents' paintings, it was still the place he and Vergil grew up. Might be too personal.

*= Its not really clear what the rules for the Nephilim's powers ARE, so maybe Dante can hide things from sight, like illusion magic? I mean, the demons kinda did that, so ??? But if not then ignore this, lol.

-Headcanon that there are a lot of half demons and people with demonic heritage running around after the end of the game, just given how many demons there were integrated into human society under Mundus. I doubt all of them would be on Mundus' side, even just out of fear. Maybe after Mundus is gone, they can all rally around Dante and Kat instead? And help him and Kat build a better future? Maybe some good demons too, that never had the courage or the power to really openly defy Mundus/protect humanity before this? Idk, I just like the idea of Dante not being the only non-human good guy around, y'know? Same with Sparda. And Eva, tbh. I mean, making a nephilim takes a demon AND an angel, so presumably Eva wasn't the only one to rebel and fall in love with a demon. It'd be neat if we could see more of that, even if it was just second or third hand accounts of the relationships.

-Headcanon that Dante hangs out by Assiel's statue, sometimes, post game. He's not really sure how aware she actually is, since Phineas said she was slain, but she still turned her head and spoke to Dante when he approached her for help, so he talks to her anyway. Thanked her for her help, telling her that they killed Mundus, told her what happened with Vergil, told her about Sparda and Eva... Just. Anything. He thinks of it as kinda being like hanging out with his cousin. Or at least visiting her grave. Or both, sometimes.

He probably repaired her statue, too, as much as he could. It'd probably take some welding gear and extra metal and such, assuming he couldn't just use his powers, but hey, he's got time. Maybe tried painting her statue, too- if that's not too weird.

-Kinda inspired by the Vergil Chronicles, but I like the idea of Dante just clearing out a space in Limbo for him and Kat to just chill in. Maybe go on a date in? Just. Somewhere nice, and pretty to look at, and fun to walk around. No demons. Not sure if Dante can bring snacks into Limbo with him, but maybe he'd try anyway, for her? Or they could just eat when they get back to the real world, whichever.

(Idk if Limbo is even a thing anymore by the end of the game, but this idea was cute, so I'm sticking it here.)

-Headcanon that Dante's ill-fitting jacket in the game is a keepsake from an old boyfriend of his. Dante bounced before being around him could get the guy killed, but they were still fond of one another, and it probably could've been good if Dante had stayed/things were different. Dante kept the jacket as a memento of their time together. (I know it doesn't have to be that deep, I just like this headcanon.)

Oh these are fun!

I have thought about the idea of Dante returning to Paradise after the events of the game. I know it's one the reboot fandom considers a lot and I like seeing everyone's different takes. Me and my girlfriend had an AU once set entirely around the concept of Dante, Kat, and other survivors of the crash of Limbo City rebuilding Paradise as a sort of home base and it was always a fun one.

I had also never considered Dante with illusion powers, that's interesting. It always seemed like something more in line with Vergil but like you said there's not really any info on what powers Nephilim in the context of the reboot do or don't have and how universal all of these abilities are!

I'm also a big proponent of there being more morally nebulous demons and half demons in Limbo City. In a lot of my writing (most of which are WIPs right now) there's a lot of characters who are either full or half demons who are fairly autonomous with a lot of moral range. It's something I always liked about the reboot specifically, how we get a lot of implications that the demons are more morally complex then a lot of the ones in the preboot (given we have characters like Phineas who confirm that there were demons rebelling against Mundus and such)

As for other accounts of Eva and Sparda's relationship in the reboot, I find them really interesting. I actually wrote a meta post about them once that's just highly speculative on the nature of Eva and such (Part 1, Part 2 there's two parts). I've been meaning to do a follow up also I just haven't had time to finish it up. I'd also like to write a one shot about my view of their relationship which might not be everyone's cup of tea but I find them very interesting.

The idea of Dante returning to Assiel is very sweet! And the idea of Kat and Dante having their own little zone in Limbo/hell is very fun to!

The jacket idea is fun to! I tend to headcanon that Dante is a bit of a magpie for jackets, so my explanation for it's size was that he'd shoplifted it a while back asdfghj I like the boyfriend angle though it's cute!

[pippytmi]

Supercorp + Hogwarts AU + meet messy + "is that the best you can do?"

“Hey, do you guys want to see a muggle magic trick?”

Kara doesn’t have to look up to know Alex and Kelly are exchanging glances over Nia’s head. Nia is the best witch in the fifth year hands-down, but her grasp of muggle illusions leave a lot to be desired.

“Sure…” Kelly agrees, politely but unsurely, while Alex shakes her head.

“If this is that stupid coin trick again, Nia—” she starts, but Nia is already squeezing between them on the grass, unfolding a pack of muggle playing cards.

“It is not,” Nia says. “Prepare to be amazed! Yvette says I’m really good at this one.”

“Oh, joy,” Alex mutters under her breath, which turns into a pained yelp when Kelly elbows her in the ribs.

Kara finally raises her gaze from the newspaper she’s been half-reading, fully prepared to commit to Nia’s trick, but then she catches a glimpse of dark hair and a brisk pace. It’s Lena Luthor, notorious loner, actually sitting outside by the black lake with her books.

It’s odd—Lena never sits outside. People talk; Lena doesn’t have many friends (someone even started a rumor that Lillian Luthor pays Jess, another sixth year, to hang out with Lena). In fact, the only time anyone really sees Lena is in class, or in the Slytherin common room when Jess is also there. Kara sees her even less (only when Slytherin and Gryffindor share classrooms), but that doesn’t make the hopeless crush she’s fostered on her since they were eleven any less potent.

Kelly starts clapping suddenly, reluctantly dragging Kara’s eyes from Lena (who is reading a book; Kara is wondering just what kind of book it is). “Aw, Nia, that was good!” she says. “Do it again!”

Even Alex is curiously lifting up the cards one by one, as if trying to determine the trick herself. “Did you use actual magic for this?” she asks.

“I’m just that good,” Nia brags, though the way she tries to expertly shuffle the cards right back into their box suggests otherwise; half of them spill onto the grass. “Oh man!”

“I’ve got this,” Kara says, absentmindedly reaching for her wand. “Accio—”

“Kara, no!”

Oh, that’s right, Kara thinks belatedly. My wand is broken. It had been an unfortunate event on the Quidditch pitch involving an overzealous Hufflepuff seeker (Winn is still very apologetic about it, but it can’t be helped now). Unfortunately, Kara never seems to quite remember that magic is off-limits until it can be fixed.

And even more unfortunate is the fact that her mind and her words have begun to converge; she’s thinking about the book Lena is reading while glancing at the cards, and her mouth is forming silent words, and really it’s not a surprise at all when said book rockets out of Lena’s hands and aims right for Nia’s head.

No one dies, though, nor do they have to make the unpleasant trudge to the infirmary—Kelly is far quicker than any of Kara’s botched magic, and the book explodes into nothing when she mutters a firm, “Evanesco.”

“Kelly!” Kara forgets, for a second, about the whole Nia-about-to-break-her-face thing; her heart drops to the pit of her stomach at the thought that something of Lena Luthor’s has been reduced to figurative dust. What if that book was personal? What if it was special? What if it was—

“Excuse me,” says a quiet, sudden voice, and Kara just about falls over in the grass at the sight of Lena Luthor standing there. “I think you summoned my book.”

Kelly winces. “Oh, actually—”

“I destroyed it,” Kara blurts out, because really, this is her fault and Nia still has a face so the least Kara can do is take a fall for a friend. “I’m sorry. My wand is broken, and I was trying to summon some cards, but I was looking at you and thinking about your book and it just…I’m sorry. Again. I can pay for it?” She immediately begins digging into the pockets of her robes, but all she manages to scrounge up is a broken sugar quill and a drawing on a torn sheet of paper that depicts Professor Grant as a dragon.

For a moment, all Lena does is stare down at Kara in a peculiarly quizzical way. She doesn’t seem mad or anything, just perplexed. A second later she says, “You were thinking about ‘Voyages with Vampires’ strongly enough to summon it? I don’t really enjoy Gilderoy Lockhart books myself.”

“To be fair,” Kara’s quick to defend herself, “I couldn’t read the title from this far.”

“Right. You decided you wanted to snatch my book from me because it was mine.” And just like that, the curious expression on Lena’s face drops entirely, twists into something resigned and exhausted. “Is that the best you can do? Petty little child games?”

“What? No, I would never—”

“Because last week Eve Tessmacher hit me with a furnunculus curse that was far more clever than this,” Lena all but sneers. “It’s always the pig-headed Gryffindors that aim out of their league.”

“You wanna say that again?” Alex is jumping up, her wand brandished out, and Lena glances from her to Kara to Kelly to Nia, as if just realizing how potentially outnumbered she could be.

Except, well, that’s so not the issue. Kara hastens to stand between Alex’s wand and Lena’s body, nearly knocking her sister over in the process. “No! No, I didn’t do that as a prank, I—” She pauses, feels her cheeks go hot, and then rushes out, “Ijustthinkyou’rereallypretty!”

Alex lowers her wand; Kara can tell, because Alex uses it to jab her in the ribs. “Oh, bloody hell,” Alex grumbles, and she nudges Kelly to join her. “I think that’s our cue. I’d rather study for Potions than watch this.”

Kelly obligingly drags Nia along, who looks like she wants to protest, but eventually Nia caves in—though not without trying to wink conspiringly at Kara, which doesn’t work because Nia “winks” with both eyes.

“But—” Kara watches as her friends scatter, and then she is left with the heavy, accusatory gaze of Lena Luthor. She tries to smile, but imagines her attempt is more of a wince than anything. “Did I mention that I’m sorry?”

Lena takes a step forward. She raises her chin in the air, no less guarded, but her eyes convey a tiny bit of that earlier curiosity all the same. “You’ve already had your fun, Kara Danvers,” she says. “But I will give you credit, no one has played the ‘I have a crush on you’ prank yet.”

Kara frowns. “Do people really play pranks on you so much?”

“I am the weird little sister of a boy who tried to blow up Hogwarts,” Lena all but deadpans. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re way more than Lex Luthor’s sister, and that’s just...really mean,” Kara says, words bursting out before she even pauses to rein them in. “I mean, you are so smart! Last year you saved a bunch of first years who wandered into the Forbidden Forest. A-and you never tried out for Quidditch, but sometimes you fly with Jess on the pitch and you’re so fast you could easily run circles around anyone on the Slytherin team. You’re the coolest person ever. Even when you were eleven, you—” Finally, her brain starts to catch up with her mouth, and Kara flushes hotter than she ever thought possible. “Oh, gosh. I’m sorry. I swear, I didn’t mean for that to sound…stalker-y. I only know about the first year thing because Professor Grant’s son was new that year and I was supposed to be babysitting him. And then the flying, well, sometimes I go to the pitch with Winn whenever he wants to practice—”

“Kara. You can breathe any time you want,” Lena prompts, and Kara pauses to do exactly that.

“Sorry,” Kara adds, again, after she’s let her lungs rest a bit. Her whole body feels shivery from head to toe, like she is seconds away from fainting, and honestly? She just might. “Anyway. Um. I can replace that book if you want. Or I can give you the money and you can pick out a better one, since you said you weren’t a fan? Whatever you want.”

Lena is quiet for a beat. “What were you going to say before? About when I was eleven?”

Kara bites her lip so hard she knows she will inevitably have to ask Kelly to heal it later. “Oh, that,” she says evasively. “I meant, when you were eleven, and I walked face-first into the wrong wall trying to get to platform nine and three quarters, and you didn’t even laugh at me. You just...helped me up, and promised you would walk with me to the train until I found my family again.”

“I remember,” Lena says, and her voice is softening, as is her expression. “You somehow got lost between platforms seven and eight. Your sister was furious when she caught up with us.”

“Yeah.” And Kara finds herself smiling at that memory; this time it’s a real smile, and she couldn’t stop it if she tried. “That was really nice.” She wants to mention more—how even when Lillian Luthor scowled at Kara’s hand-me-downs, Lena complimented her right away on the shirt that had once been Alex’s—but all Kara does right now is step back. “I’ve bothered you enough, I think. Will you…let me know? About the book?”

“I don’t care about the book,” Lena says, and she swallows, loud enough that Kara can hear it. “Do you mean it?”

“That you’re...nice?”

“Yes.” Lena’s cheeks are a faint pink color, and Kara’s entire mouth goes dry.

“Well, yeah,” Kara says, and in that moment—with Lena blushing, and Kara’s chest tightening—they both know that she’s confessing to so much more than thinking Lena is nice. “So. Um.” She squares her shoulders, and prepares to be brave enough to live up to the Gryffindor name: “Can I buy you something that’s not a book? Sometime? Maybe on our next trip to Hogsmeade?”

“Like a date?” Lena asks, so impossibly soft, and Kara nods.

“Exactly like a date,” Kara says, and honestly, she should demand ten points to Gryffindor herself because her voice does not waver once.

And Lena Luthor smiles, just cautious enough to show how unsure she is, but still warm enough that Kara’s heart skips a beat. “Okay,” she says. “But on one condition: I’ll handle any magic until then.”

“Deal,” Kara agrees, and it’s official; breaking her wand might have been the best thing that has ever happened to her, ever.

[seaside-writings]

Hello, all you wonderful people!

I hope you're all ready for another super long prompt list because today is the 10th anniversary of the one and only "Gravity Falls" which to this day is still one of my favorite shows in existence.

The world-building and the characters are top-notch in my opinion, and it doesn't matter how many times I watch it, it never gets old and I doubt it ever will.

This amazing show that touched so people first aired in 2012 on June 15th, where it completely stole my heart thanks to a gnome puking up a rainbow.

Since then it's become one of my comfort shows and never fails to put a smile on my face, so celebrate "Gravity Falls" and all its weirdness, I've made this prompt list of all of my favorite bits of dialogue from every character.

I do hope you all enjoy this prompt list, and if it doesn't help you write, I at least hope it makes you smile and gives a little bit of nostalgia.

I hope you all stay blessed and safe throughout your day.

Lots of Love & Wishes: Celia 💙

Prompt List:

"You think the world makes sense? NOTHING MAKES SENSE! SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL MAKE NONSENSE!" - "You're scared. Of growing up. And who could blame you; I'm scared, too," - "Remember! Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!" - "Three, four, five, six," "Your wife is going to be beautiful!" "Yes!" "Come on, we've got a big break in the case!" "Let's go!" "But will she love me?! - "Romance is like gum: Once it's lost its flavor, you just cram another one in." - If you accidentally eat the prize that comes inside your cereal, does that make you a specially-marked box?" - "He's looking at it, he's looking at it!" "Uhh, do you like me? Yes, definitely, absolutely?" "I rigged it!" - "Do we have a ladder?" "Studies show owning a ladder is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns, just in case some fool tries to sneak in here with a ladder," - "You! You can't even imagine what you just cost me! Do you have any idea what I'm like when I'm mad?" - "Is this legal?" "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!" - "Dude, am I a side character?" - "Hey, hey! Let go of my sister!" "Oh, hey there. You know this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in any danger. She's just marrying all 1,000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity. Isn't that right, honey?" "You guys are butt-faces!" - "The future is in the past. Onwards, Aoshima!" - "For one trillion years I've been trapped in my own decaying dimension, waiting for a new universe to call my own," - "Ugghh... I'm never gonna eat or do anything ever again," "Hey! There's still some left!" "EVIL!" - "But you can call me your new lord and master for all of eternity!" - "Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!" - "Now, who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?" "YAY!" "Wait, what?" - "I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price," "Twenty dollars?! I'll just take 'em when you're not lookin'," "What?" "I said I was gonna rob ya," - "You can't force someone to love you. The best you can do is strive to be someone worthy of loving," - "Time is dead and meaning has no meaning. Existence is upside-down and I reign supreme. Welcome, one and all, to Weirdmageddon!" - "Maybe that old guy was crazy after all..." "He did use the word "scrabdoodle"..." - "I don't know. I was in the friend zone, and then he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand!" - "He thinks there's no heroes in this world, but if we work together and fight back, we can defeat him. You wanna be her hero? Stand up to that psycho, and let us save her!" - "How many of these did you eat!?" "Beleven.. teen..." "Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man," - "You really think you can outwit me, boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!" - "Face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's... incident. - "Child, why have you come here? "Multibear, I seek your head! Or, one of them, anyway. There's like...six? Six heads?" - "What was that about?" "Nothing. I don't want to talk about it. Talk about what? Why is this table wet?" - "Food!" "Thanks there, sugar pot. I-I mean honey wasp, kitten baby, b-baby cow," "Ha! Silly... so silly," - "Okay, I'm not actually laid back. I'm stressed, like, 24/7. Have you met my family?" - “Stay curious, stay weird, stay kind, and don't let anyone ever tell you you aren't smart or brave or worthy enough," - "I'm legalizing everything!" - "We're gonna have to break in," "And here are your balloons; blue and pink!" "We're in," - "Oh, look. The "constable!" What are you gonna do? Throw me in "ye stocks?'" - "If you're watching this, you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot once the filming is complete. What? We're not doing? Ha! Well, that's a relief!" - "He is such a jerk," "Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar," - "I just wanted to tell you that everyone makes mistakes. And when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated," "Dude. You lost me," "I know," - "You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct," "It was those kids! And their leader, Waddles!" "That's a pig," - "You can hide, but you cannot hide!" - "I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never meet!" - What's going on out here, dudes? I heard a ruckus. Heh-heh, that's a funny word. "Ruckus"," - "I ate a man alive tonight," - "No, buts except yours out the door. now shut your yap and get to work," - "Well, we're still here," "Guess he forgot to go back," - "A darkness approaches. A day will come in the future when everything you care about will change... Until then I'll be watching you! I'll be watching you..." - Today, I learned that morality is relative!" - "I think I'm gonna go stare at a wall for a while and rethink everything," - "Why sweetheart, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head. If you agree to be my queen!" "NO! Never! I will fight you till the day I- Gummy Koalas!" - "Oh yeah, this is gonna be your worst plot yet. They're fine; I saw them playing in the yard minutes ago," - "I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!" - "Ow!" "I high-five hard," - "You know, kids? I've been thinkin'. At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes, or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together at one place and celebrate what really matters... PURE EVIL!" - "I'm giving none of this to charity!" - "YOU CAN RUN, BUT I'LL STILL BE IN YOUR NIGHTMARES!!" - "Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves," "Agreed," - "Yeah, dude. That sounds science-y enough to be true," - "Ah, the pool! Sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!" "Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus but wet." - "I am the lifeguard. I make the rules, sucka! Boosh!" - "Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?" "It's best not to think about it," - "Wow, you work here?" "I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges. Plus I get the best seat in the house," "Yeah, you do!" - "Yes, yes... burn the child!" - "How long ya in for?" "Two hours for roughhousing, but I'm innocent!" - "Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face! Let's roll!" - "I have never met anyone like you," "Me too. Except for a zombie, a gnome, and a couple of cute vampires," "I don't remember the vampires," "I don't tell you everything!" - "Well if it makes you feel better, the apocalypse is comin' soon! Bury your gold. You've been buying gold, right?" - "Me? Nothing. This? I was just eating some sour candy...so my lips did that...because the candy was so sour," "Can I have some candy?" "...No," - "Road safety laws prepare to be ignored!" - "Wait a second! Is something rooting through our trash? Hey, hey! Get outta here! Darn beautiful men always eating out of my trash. Wait what?" - "You can't put him outside! There's predators! And barbecues!" "That's just the natural order. It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious!" - "Oh, I get it. You're trying to guilt me! Well, it ain't working, pal! Who cares if you're her favorite thing in the world? I can live without the kid talking to me all the time. Telling me her jokes... making me laugh," - "I've been cheating the last eight turns," "Haha, that's my girl," - "Here! Deer teeth! For you, kid!" - "Gimme that back or I'll..." "Or you'll what, boy? You'll what? Huh? Huh!? No muscles, no brains - face it, you're nothin' without this!" - "The entire lower half of your body is on fire," "Shhh... we're having a moment," - "Karaoke isn't about sounding good. It's about sounding terrible together," - "All right, you undead jerks, you ready to die twice?!" - "What is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight? "Raise the dead," "And what did you do?" "Raise the dead," - "Hey, well at least you can't deny that magic exists anymore, right? "... Kid, I've always known," "What!?" - "The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is ME!" - "I'm not an idiot, kid, of course, this town is weird and the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous. I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it, to try to protect you from it. Looks like I didn't lie well enough," - "They're slow! Just power-walk away from them!" - "Dude, you're laying on my bra," - "Man, these movies are a lot less scary when you've actually fought real zombies," - "They sure are taking their time in there," "Didn't he say something about a monster!?" "Oh, no! I thought he was joking!" "You know his jokes are terrible!" - "You think you're so clever, don't you? But you have no idea what you're up against. You will never find the author! If you keep digging, you'll meet a fate worse than you can imagine," - "Would it be wrong to punch a child?" - "Don't stay up all night. The last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt," - It was just a job, kid! No hard feelings. And I've been keeping an eye on you since then, and I must say, I'm impressed! "Really?" "Yep, in fact, you deserve a prize! Here, have a head that's always screaming!" - "I'm gonna stop you! I'm going to find that journal before you do, and I'm gonna stop you!" "Heh, but how can you stop me...if you don't exist?" - "Did he just make out with his puppets?" "I might've dodged a bullet there," - "The point is, I like you. How's about you let me give you a hint, huh? I only ask for a small... favor in return," "I'd never do a favor for you! Don't forget who defeated you last time!" "Right, you "defeated me". Well, if you ever change your mind, I'll be here for you, ready to make a deeaaal," - "Movies are great! You watch the movie, you scare the girl, the girl snuggles up next to you - next thing you know, you gotta raise a kid, your life falls apart... Forget that last part," - "Well, that just put me 90 minutes closer to death. Time you kids learned to watch the classics from my day," "Ooooh, old people movies! Get ready for references we don't understand and words we can't repeat," - "Love God! sign my face!" "Only if you sign mine, baby! LET'S GET WEIRD!" - "You're the worst," - "Just gotta splash this sucker with some anointed water and he should be out of your probably fake blonde hair," - "I was right about you all along. You're just as bad as your parents. Another link in the world's worst chain!" - "Look at who you're talking to, boy. I'm hosting a party for the most powerful people in the world. You think they'd come here if they had to rub elbows with your kind?" "My kind?" - "A forest of death, a lesson learned! And now the manor will BURN!" - "Hey, ugly! Over here! You want me to let in the townsfolk? 'Cause I'll do it! Just change everyone back!" "You wish to prove yourself? Pull that lever and open the grand gate to the town! Fulfill your ancestors' promise!" - "Is this thing broken?" "Our family name is broken! And I'm gonna fix it!" - "Ow! Hot Belgian waffles! Wait, I'm alone. I can swear for real! SON OF A..." - "I wanted to say that you're gonna hear some bad things about me, and some of 'em are true, but trust me—everything I've worked for, everything I care about, it's all for this family!" - "Is this the part where one of us faints?" "Oh, I am so on it, dude," - "What...? W-who is that?" "The author of the journals... my brother," - "You owe us some answers: What's the deal with this portal? Why did you keep this a secret?" "And what happened between you and your brother?" "I hope all of this aligns exactly with my fan-fiction. If not, I will be very disappointed," - "Greetings. Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time," "Whoa, a six-fingered handshake? It's a full-finger friendlier than normal!" "Heha, I like this kid. She's weird," - "Look, you gonna explain what's going on, here? You're acting like Mom after her tenth cup of coffee," "Listen, there isn't must time. I've made huge mistakes and I don't know who I can trust anymore," "Hey, uh, easy there. Let's talk this through, okay?" - "I'd lost him. I didn't know if he was dead or alive in some distant galaxy, but I knew his journal must have the answer to getting him back. Somehow," - "No, no! You don't understand what I've been through! I've been to prison in three different countries! I once had to chew my way out of the trunk of a car! You think you've got problems? I've got a mullet!" - "That's IT?! You finally want to see me after ten years, and it's to tell me to get as far away from you as possible?!" - "Have you come to steal my eyes!?!" - "My boy, do you know what this means? We must stop everything I've been working on at once... and PLAY!" - "Kids, if I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than my brother," - "Look, it's time we stop trying to be so "perfect" and be who we really are. We're crazed, angry, sweaty animals! We're not unicorns, we're WOMEN! AND WE TAKE WHAT WE WANT!" - "You lied to me! Where does that portal really lead?!" "Hoho! Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart! Let's just say that when that portal finishes charging up, your dimension is gonna learn how to party! Right, guys?" - "MONEY!" - "TV lied, man! If you can avoid growing up, do it! I'd give anything to be twelve again," - "Well, it's a horrible opportunity for me! I had the worst day of my life! When we turn thirteen, summer ends and I have to leave everything behind. You're the only person I could count on, and now you're leaving me too?!" - "Look, things aren't gonna stay frozen this way. It's part of growing up. Things change. Summer ends," - "At last! At long, long last! The gate between worlds has opened! The event one billion years prophesied has come to pass! The day has come! THE WORLD IS FINALLY MINE!" - "I'll die before I join you!" - "Open up! This is the police. Time Police!" "Just play it cool, ditch the time-punch. Let me do the talking," - "This is crazy! I'm sorry about our fight, and I'm sorry things aren't great right now, but that doesn't mean you can stay in here forever!" - "Look, real-life stinks sometimes, okay, I'm not gonna lie. But there's a better way to get through it than denial, and that's with help from people who care about you," - "I thought you were living a fantasy, but look at me! I actually thought I was gonna stay here and be his apprentice! Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement with a lab coat? How ridiculous is that? I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but whatever it is, you don't have to fear because we'll do it together. I'm not taking his apprenticeship. We've traveled to Heck and back to get you and we're goin' back together. Leave this fantasy world. Let's beat this and grow up together," - "You mean it? You're really coming home with me?" "Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. Awkward sibling hug?" "... Sincere sibling hug," - "Aw, man, I never noticed how bright this place is, ugh! Have I actually been listening to the same song for an entire week?" - "Since the Mayor got captured, I elected myself de-facto Chief. The plan's to stay in here and eat brown meat until we run out. Then I vote we eat the gnomes," "Hey! I'm short, not deaf!" "Shh, shh! Stress will make you chewy!" - "You're insane if you think I'll help you!" "I'm insane either way, braniac!" - "Well, would you look at that! Those kids really care about you. And you care about them. DON'T YOU?!" - "Ohh, I can't believe this! The kids are gonna die and it's all my fault! All because I couldn't shake your stupid hand! Ugh, Dad was right about me. I am a screwup," "Don't blame yourself. I'm the one who made a deal with that psycho in the first place. I fell for all his easy flattery. You would've seen him for the scam artist he is," "... How did things get so messed up between us?" - "Do you really think he's gonna make good on that deal?" "What other choice do we have?" - "Heh-heh! Do a pretty good impression of my brother, don't I? Switch clothes and no one can tell us apart! Welcome to my mind. Surprised you didn't recognize it," - "Oh, yeah. You're goin' down. You're getting erased. Memory gun. Pretty clever, huh?" "Y-you idiot! Don't you realize you're destroying your own mind too?!" "Eh. It's not like I was using this space for much anyway," - "You're making a mistake! I'll give you anything! Money, fame, riches, infinite power, your own galaxy! Please! No...! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME...?!" - "Hey, look at me! Turn around and look at me, you one-eyed demon! You're a real wise guy, but you made one fatal mistake: you messed with my family!" - "MY TIME HAS COME TO BURN! I INVOKE THE ANCIENT POWER THAT I MAY RETURN!" - "Heh. Guess I was good for something after all," - "You're a hero," - "We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, oh I know we'll meet again some sunny day," - "Being a hero means fighting back even when it seems impossible," - "If you've ever taken a road trip through the Pacific Northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called Gravity Falls. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it. Some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there somewhere in the woods, waiting,"

[localvoidcat]

mark lives au incorrect quotes part uh. fucking 3. 333. is that anything. where am i

Jonah teaching Mark to drive and taking Adam along for the ride Jonah: That's a pothole. To the left! Mark: Take it back now y'all Drives into pothole Adam, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth. Mark: I don't think that's how the song goes. Jonah, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home. Mark: Country Roads. Adam: To the place. Mark and Adam in unison: I Belong! Jonah, crying harder: What the fuck?

Sarah: And what do I get out of this? Cesar: I will give you a dollar. Sarah: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar! Cesar: How bout two dollars? Sarah: You got yourself a deal.

Alt!Mark: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game… Mark, nodding: Knife Monopoly. Alt!Mark: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Sarah: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego. Sarah: My facebook photo is a landscape.

Thatcher: I’ve made a spread sheet of all the crime in Brooklyn. Thatcher: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.

Alt!Cesar: Wasn't iCarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? Cesar: ICARUS?

Adam: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Thatcher: Hey, what are you reading? Dave: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself. Thatcher: Impressive! I must have it for myself! Adam: So it’s just a Notebook? Dave: It’s just a Notebook.

Dave is fighting an alternate Mark: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it! Dave: The power to believe in myself!? Mark: No, a gun! Shoot it!

Mark: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces. Mark: waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro

Mark: So…This is my full potential? Jonah: Yes. Mark: So, then it's… Jonah: All downhill from here. Mark: Like Thatcher. Jonah: I do not know what this Thatcher is. But it sounds disappointing.

Alt!Mark: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable…and also assault with a deadly weapon.

Alt!Mark: Remain CALM! slaps Mark multiple times

Sarah: What if I lied this whole time and I'm actually 18? Dave: Sarah, stop trying to get drugs. Sarah: Don't suppress my interests.

Mark: What do you have? Alt!Cesar: A KNIFE! Mark: NO!

Dave: What happened to your nose? Thatcher: I used it to break some guy's fist.

Mark: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany! Mark, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Dave: Jonah, you're testifying in an aggravated assault case tomorrow, and the D.A. is worried about how you'll present yourself on the stand. Jonah: Why? I'm fine on the stand! flashback to Testimony #1 Jonah: Look, I'll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand. Jonah, to the jury: MAN DID CRIME. flashback to Testimony #2 Jonah: I'm sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face? Defense Attorney, next to the crying defendant: …Crying? flashback to Testimony #3 Jonah: And when this is over, I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna break those little fingers. Judge: Could the witness please stop threatening the stenographer?

Alt!Mark: You’re giving me a sticker? Alt!Cesar: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!” Alt!Mark: I’m not a preschooler. Alt!Cesar: Fine, I’ll take it back- Alt!Mark: I earned this, back off!

Cesar: That was a joke. Say ha. Alt!Cesar: Ha. Cesar: Now do it again. Alt!Cesar: Ha. Cesar: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party.

Dave: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

Sarah: N…No! Thatcher: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint: Y…Yes???

Mark: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Sarah: It was me… Mark: …Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Dave: Hey Mark, I’ve got an idea for how to solve this. Mark, pulling out a shotgun: Yeah? Dave: Wh- No! That’s not the idea, Mark!

Dave: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee. Thatcher: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

Alt!Mark: A butterfly! Hey, little guy, gal or nonbinary pal! Thatcher: Can a butterfly be nonbinary? Alt!Mark: I mean, maybe? I don't judge. Sarah, staring dreamily out of the window: Ah, have you ever imagine having butterfly wings? Then- Jonah: Then it would be inconvenient as fuck. Your wings would smack every doorframe and your clothes would have to have holes in the back. Alt!Cesar: Also, your wing's paper thin, so even a six year old aimed a NERF gun at it would… Yeah… Mark: sips coffee According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a- Sarah: No, nononono. You fuckers have already shattered my dream, you don't get the fucking privilege to make that reference. Thatcher: Also, it's about a butterfly, not a bee… Why would you make that reference? Alt!Mark: You clearly have not lived with them long enough.

Adam: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit. Jonah: Adam, is that legal? Adam: When the cops aren’t around, anything’s legal!

At a bank teller window Sarah, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit! Cesar: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU! Sarah: Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube Cesar: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

Dave: The only straight I am is a straight-up badass.

Dave, looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

Cesar: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down.

Mark: Takes a sip of milk and gags Mark: Oh my god, is this expired? Mark: Takes another sip of milk

Thatcher: I just want someone to take me out. Sarah: On a date? Cesar: With a sniper gun? Mark: Both if you're not a coward.

Alt!Mark: You can do it Mark! Alt!Mark: But if you can't, at least your death will be quick, painless, and really cool to watch.

Dave: I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood. Dave: I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040, and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong. And the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404". Dave: And I actually laughed out loud.

Sarah & Adam: accidentally set the kitchen on fire Sarah: We need an adult! Adam: Sarah, you are an adult! Sarah: We need an adultier adult! Get Thatcher!

Alt!Cesar: I have a problem. Alt!Mark: Kill it. Alt!Cesar: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

Thatcher: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

Dave: Are you having another depressive episode? Thatcher: A depressive episode? Thatcher: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

Dave: I don’t remember that. Mark: Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door? Dave: …No. Mark: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by those wild dogs for two miles? Dave: Not especially, no. Mark: It was in between those two things.

Alt!Cesar, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Alt!Mark: Is the pink panther a lion? Mark: Say that again but slower. Alt!Mark: I don’t get it. Mark: He’s a PANTHER. Alt!Mark: Is that a type of lion? Mark: No, it’s a fucking panther. Alt!Mark: googles panther They aren’t pink? Mark: AND LIONS ARE?!

Alt!Mark, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY! Thatcher, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

Cesar: I’m 80% awesome 20% water and 100% handsome. Thatcher: That’s 200%. Cesar: I’m twice the man you’ll ever be.

Sarah: I do two things and two things only. I devastate sorry motherfuckers, and get shit done as an awesome leader.

Thatcher: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store? Mark: I thought the animals might be lonely.

Cesar: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk. Sarah: Go the fuck to sleep Cesar.

Sarah: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. Sarah, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

Jonah: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Adam: Spear. Jonah: BLOCKED.

Adam: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Thatcher's birthday invitations. Dave: Well, what are they supposed to say? Adam: "Thatcher's birthday". Dave: So, what do they say instead? Adam: "Thatcher’s bi". Dave: Dave: Works out either way.

Cesar: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Jonah: I think you mean cards. Mark: They did not. Cesar, pulling out knives: I did not.

Sarah: Hey Mark, do you have any hobbies? Mark: Swimming.. Sarah: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to- Mark: In a pool of self hatred and regret.

Cesar: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff. Alt!Cesar: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

Mark: cocks gun Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

Dave: We call that a traumatic experience. Dave, turning to Mark: Not a "bruh moment". Dave, turning to Adam: Not "sadge". Dave, turning to Cesar: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Jonah: Yeah, I'll smoke a joint tonight, but let's not get too crazy. The gang proceeds to get arrested for blocking the road in large traffic cone costumes

Cesar: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves? Dave: Milfs. Alt!Cesar: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves. Cesar: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for??? Mark: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties. Mark: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago. Alt!Cesar: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck. Cesar: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK— Cesar: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY! Mark: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries? Dave: What? No! It isn't! Mark: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME! Alt!Cesar: Mark… Mark: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION! Alt!Cesar: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you. Mark: CESAR, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION! Cesar: The word milf has been ruined for me. Dave: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS! Alt!Cesar: Y'all are dumbasses.

Mark: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

Jonah: We need to open this locked door. Adam, give me your credit card. Adam: Here. Jonah, pocketing it: Thanks. Mark, break down the door.

Thatcher, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be? Dave: Well, that's you. Thatcher: Me?! Is that what I look like? Dave: You don't know? Thatcher: Busy day.

Thatcher, trying to impress Dave: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture. Mark: They turned it off and back on again.

Sarah: Mark! I thought you were dead! Mark: No, just in deep cover. Sarah: …But it was an open casket. Mark: It was very deep.

Mark: You saved me! Why? Cesar: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

Thatcher: Here you go, Dave, a nice hot cup of coffee! Dave: It's cold. Thatcher: A nice cup of coffee. Dave: It's horrible! Thatcher: Cup of coffee. Dave: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee. Thatcher: C U P.

Alt!Mark: Hopefully Mark has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings. Mark: Oh, shut up and die Alt!Mark.

Dave: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.

Cesar: Seriously, Mark, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to? Mark: That’s not important Cesar: I DISAGREE.

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Graveyard Siblings (3)

Some for revenge and some sibling bonding.

[Masterlist]

(Part 1)(Part 2)

-------

Adrien was next to be visited. Plagg woke him up from his sleep.

-------

“Kit, wake up. I want camembert.”

“Plagg, silence. You are not getting any cheese if you do that.”

“Sorry, Adrien but you are not my ‘master’ anymore.”

“Plagg? Why are you here? Where’s the ring?”

“The ring is as far away as possible and kept safely away. I am here because someone wants to talk to you.”

“Who?”

A cloaked, hooded figure stepped out of the shadows to his room.

“Kitty. My Chaton. Did you miss me?” A sweet, familiar but yet so terrifying voice came from the figure.

She pulled down the hood to reveal Ladybug with a wicked-looking black mask with white lenses.

“What am I talking about? You do miss me. Your Bugaboo. Too bad I don’t feel the same, Adrien.”

Lightning flashed and it started to rain. The mask was gone, revealing his dead classmate, Marinette with chilling red eyes. The pigtails grew longer and curved upwards, giving the illusion of her having horns. Twin blades flashed and she leaped towards him. (Damian gave them to her with some lessons in exchange for spending time with, babysitting, the kwamis.)

Adrien scrambled away from the bed in the nick of time. A sword impaling the spot where he just was.

“Plagg, help. Where is the ring? I need to transform.”

“Sorry, kitten. I am not telling you. Even if you did have the ring, it’s not going to be much help.”

“Kitty, stay still. Then, we can be together. Just like you wanted.”

Adrien continued to dodge.

“What do you mean?” He all but screamed at Plagg.

“Pigtails, here, is a vengeful spirit. She’s not going to stop until she is satisfied. How about asking her what she wants?”

“Ladybug, what do you want?”

“What I wanted was a partner I could rely on, someone I can trust with my life, someone who wouldn’t stab me in the back for his own selfish gain. I wanted a friend who would have my back and not tell me to keep quiet at the price of my mental health and my relationships with people I care about. WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!”

She managed to get a cut on his left cheek.

Soon, he was on the ground, bleeding out on the round.

“Tell Hawkmoth that he better watch out. Because-” lightning struck and Plagg and Ladybug had disappeared, “his downfall is coming.” Her voice echoed through his room.

Adrien laid bleeding until Natalie opened the door after hearing a crash from the room and came to check on him. As she called an ambulance for Adrien, she wondered if it wasn’t too late to ask for redemption and be spared from Ladybug’s wrath for her part in her murder.

Adrien had the word ‘TRAITOR’ carved into his back. Forever reminding him of his crimes.

--------

He wasn’t in school for a week after the incident. They all were told that Adrien had an accident while fencing.

Gabriel was a little panicking now.

He hired an exorcist, (John Constantine got a hefty amount and did a few flashy magic tricks to appease Gabriel but he didn’t lift the curse Maria put on the place. She is not someone to be on the bad side of and he thinks that he can’t lift it even if he wanted to.)

Emilie gets a little sus at Gabriel when he brought this strange man with a British accent into their home after their son got attacked in his own room with security tighter than Fort Knox.

She doesn’t buy that ‘accident’ bullshit that her husband, son and even Natalie tries to sell her. She thinks it is connected to what happened while she was in a coma.

-----

Adrien has a curse too.

(Credit to @raeuberprinzessin for giving me an idea)

He couldn’t act like the ‘Perfect Adrien’ in public anymore. Acting more like Chat Noir at first then, later a spoiled brat. His friends thought that he was finally rebelling against his father and encouraged it a lot.

Adrien started criticizing other people, strangers at first then to the people working on the photoshoots to his fans to his other school mates, people in his class and his friends. (The curse planted ideas into his head about what he should say and he said them all without thinking about the effect it has on other people)

People started avoiding him not liking his attitude and his comments about how they should behave and change something about them because he doesn’t like it that way and guilt-tripping them when he doesn’t get his way. Even Nino started to distance himself after he saw how Adrien talked to a fan.

The public thought it was a phase but as he got progressively worse, people started despising him. Adrien doesn’t realize this of course so far, happy that his father let him get away with ‘ruining the Agreste image.’ (Gabriel was worried about a potential vengeful ghost and making sure his wife didn't know about his stint as a supervillain. There was also the fact that the Afterlife made more sales than him again and managed to get on the cover of Vogue when he should have, dammit.) He was finally able to say what he wanted to without repercussions. Until he realized when Nino and everyone else cancelled for a hangout for the third time that week that he was slowly losing his friends.

He panics and tries to fix the situation. He didn’t want to be alone again.

He talks to Nino about it and to his horror, he couldn’t stop himself from saying many things that were a little hurtful. (Second part. The moment he realizes he is going to be alone. He is going to find out that yes, lies can hurt people. He is going to see it happen firsthand.)

Nino moved seats and told Adrien that their friendship was on hold until he apologized.

Soon, nearly every time his mouth opened, lies and insults about his friends or their embarrassing secrets came spilling out. Everyone hated him now and Mme. Bustier tried to give him a reprimand about his behaviour, which when he tried to defend himself, he found himself unable to speak.

He managed to explain to his father what caused his unpopularity by writing what happened to him. Unfortunately due to his poor behaviour before the second part of the curse was activated, his fan base was dwindling and people didn’t like him anymore so there was a hit on the Gabriel brand.

He no longer has to do modeling, clearing his schedule. But no one would spend time with him.

The best solution he could do with his predicament was to keep quiet and endure the loneliness and the glares of his classmates at school. Adrien was relegated to the back and nearly everyone avoided him. He was now a social pariah.

Even Lila avoided him because of her own curse which made Adrien turn into one of her previous victims. (She also didn’t ponder why Marinette rarely appears compared to the others.)

If Adrien felt a tiny bit remorseful or guilty for making Marinette keep quiet or betraying Ladybug, he can gain a little control over what he says.

The curse can be broken if he apologizes to Maria herself or to her grave.

------

The first few months, while Marinette adapted to living with the Waynes, Jason stayed over at Wayne Manor because having Maria living with him at his apartment wasn’t a good idea and he had no clue how to take care of a teenage girl.

On paper she is adopted by Bruce because Jason can’t. (Some CPS reasons.)

Making Jason a little more salty towards Bruce. “I found her first. I called dibs.”

Brought Maria to meet the other Outlaws and they adopted her too. “Hey, guys. She’s my sister first.”

Jason was the one to teach her how to shoot a gun because he was ‘the most capable’ of teaching her.

The first few months were a little tense with Marinette not fully trusting them and the same with the rest of the Batfam.

Jason warmed her up a bit to him by telling a little of why he took her here.

He was also the one to book them flight to Paris with Bruce’s credit card so she can tell her friends that she wasn’t dead in person.

They bonded more after stopping some nefarious plot in Paris while they were there. Let’s say Gentleman Ghost and something involving the catacombs in Paris. (I watched some Batman: Brave and the Bold for childhood nostalgia.)

Kwamis were animal-shaped and they were interesting creatures to be around. And very very curious.

There was a stressful day for Maria when all the Kwamis decided to play hide and seek. Damian somehow got roped into helping her as the only available person in the Manor and he will deny that he enjoyed it.

Damian is the little brother she always wanted and she is more tolerable compared to his brothers. There is also the fact that she trusts him with the kwamis and deep down, he feels super-honoured. (I just love older sister!Mari)

Tim and her being insomniac/coffee buddies. There has been many many interventions to stop this.

I get that Marinette is this selfless person and loves making people happy but she has siblings now and them eating the stuff she made for herself to enjoy, should get on her nerves after a while.

She makes a box with booby-traps in which she puts in her cookies and food.

There are many different layers of traps because this is the Batfam and each of them is non-lethal and more ridiculous.

Okay, I once read a fic about Marinette making a bear-trap style box to hide the Miracle Box so this box is also like that but kept for food. (Traps and Sneaks by quicksilversquared)

Someone (I vote a hungry Dick or Jason, maybe a suspicious Bruce) made a mistake of putting their hand into the box and the first trap activated.

Screams filled the house.

Everyone came down including Marinette.

Bruce asked, “Who did this?”

“It was me.”

“Why?”

“They kept eating the cookies.”

“There are other ways to stop them from doing that you know like a ‘Do Not Touch’ sign not a death trap box.”

“They are non-lethal.”

Bruce locked it away but Tim later stole it to tweak it and store his coffee. ------ (Part 4)

[scaryscarecrows]

Hey so quick question. What was the squad dynamic pre and post reveal? Because I’m imagining AK as like “you have a job, do it, and also don’t be so hecking stupid.” (Cough cough, Jimmy) Like, he’s an idiot (the corpse video call thing, driving, etc) but he’s also just done with their stupidity. And then the reveal happens and he’s like 19 or whatever. I just find it really funny if the character who is the most conventionally “adult” (Barring Frank and Mark.) is also the youngest. And also a disaster who’s trying to pretend he’s not. (Granted, I think everyone knew he’s not normal on sight. The suit is a pretty cool look though.)

So Jason wears a helmet for three reasons:

-When he started, he was literally a baby and paid or not, you're gonna have an uphill fight getting people to do what you want when you can't even buy booze or drive alone at night.

-That brand is really distinctive and also traumatic, better to just...not show that to the world. :/

-He has no poker face. None. The armor lets him keep the image he wants to portray; there's been plenty of times that he's cracking up, freaked out or otherwise Emoting Heavily, but the helmet lets him maintain the illusion of 'unflappable commanding officer who ran out of fucks in the womb'. (He's still plenty emotive, but sometimes you have to know where to look.)

End result...

Pre-Reveal

Early on, this guy is definitely dangerous and probably kind of unhinged. Later, they...they respect him when it really matters, and they're willing to keep up Professional Interactions in front of an audience, but they will tease him and/or lovingly bully him, same as they do with each other. Frank does not let him drive. Jason's stopped trying to pull rank to do so. Riley's also banned from being behind the wheel, which takes some of the sting out. There's definitely lines you do not cross (joking about Batman is a Bad Idea), but by and large, they don't have too many qualms about poking him once in a while. He's fine. Jimmy knocked himself out once (Jason startled him; that was an accident), got carried to medical, and woke up to Mark and Jason insisting that yes, the damage was so extensive that you're a head in a jar now, sorry man. Did he believe them? For a minute longer than he needed to, yes.

Post-Reveal

Jason: They bully me.

Mark: I told you to go to bed at a decent hour, you insisted that once you went three days without sleeping and I reminded you that I didn't give a shit, you weren't doing it this time.

Riley: Oh, yeah, I threw Scooby-Doo fruit snacks at him. Frank won't let him do anything to me, it was fine.

Jason: You threw fruit snacks at me on the damn job!

Riley: I didn't have any Snickers bars and you were raving about Bat-bullshit for like, the third time in half an hour. Frank said you were probably hungry.

Jason: He put you up to that?

Frank: Did you eat them?

Jason: ...yes.

Frank: Did they help?

Jason: Somewhat.

Frank: Then you were hungry. We threw 'em at Mark, too, don't feel too bad.

Mark: Yeah, but when it was me, you were bullying.