#i do. i see. they make me squee.

[toji-girl]

for hire | t. fushiguro

synopsis: In need of a new maid he scours the internet only to find out a new type of cleaner exists; topless ones.

cw: 18+ only - minors/ageless blogs dni + explicit smut + topless maid au + repost from my old blog + fingering + breast/nipple play + teasing + not beta read + modern au + repost + feedback is highly apprecited such as comments and reblogs

Being a topless maid wasn’t a bad job really, minus the men who did more than just watched which got them removed from the service and into big trouble but most times they’d give you more money which you didn’t mind, it was a necessity really.

A lot of them were old and wrinkly, wanting to relive their youth of seeing someone so young and supple, their eyes taking in your bare tits, when you signed up for the job you knew what it entailed, however, the one thing you weren’t prepared for was Toji.

Tall and dark and very handsome, he made your stomach turn inside out when you first met him at his small apartment, the first time you had a shirt on but you were ready to take it off the next time.

“Just need the kitchen and bathroom cleaned mostly, mind it?” He asked showing you the rooms making you wonder how he fit through the doorways.

You nodded and looked around then back at him setting a time that came by faster than what you thought it would, nerves ate away at your stomach for a moment as you knocked on the door.

It didn’t take long for Toji to corral you inside and to his bathroom waiting for you in the living room, when you stepped your shirt and bra were gone leaving you in panties and stockings.

“I think this has to be the best investment I made.” He murmured rising to his full height with a smirk handing you the small tub filled with cleaning supplies.

You could feel his eyes on you anytime you bent over, especially when you got on your hands and knees, your pussy lips strained against your panties.

Toji loved that you were topless, it’s been such a long time since he’s seen a woman that wasn’t on a computer screen and here you are, half-naked and teasing him in person like trying to entice him.

Sometimes he’d flirt and tease you once you came more and got comfortable around him, his hands coming down to hold your hips when you scoot past him in the kitchen and you’d flirt right back.

His hand would linger longer than it needed to and you never stopped it, he was warm and it felt nice to have attention from someone sexy as him, even when he’d brush his knuckles against your breast.

A few days out of the month you’d let yourself in while Toji wasn’t around with permission, but he was sure to leave a note when he would get back so in turn you made him dinner to heat up for a quick meal.

“You cook and clean? What a perfect little housewife, got a boyfriend?” He asked one evening when you were scouring the bathroom floor on your hands and knees, his voice teasing and dark with strained lust.

You turned your head and looked at him feeling heat pool between your legs at the compliment. “I do not, no, a lot of men can’t handle my job.” You replied.

He grinned and slid his hands into his pockets. “How about you join me for dinner then? I want to personally thank you for it.”

An hour later you found yourself seated on Toji’s lap while sitting on his couch, your legs thrown over his as he played with your pussy pulling the fabric of your panties between your lips.

Still, you were shirtless making it easy for him to use his free hand to twist and pull on your nipple hearing you cry out while the other one was between your legs pulling your underwear to the side.

It was so easy for him to drag a finger between your slicked-up pussy. “So wet for me,” He murmured mostly to himself feeling his cock throb in his shorts.

Slowly he slid his middle finger inside you while his thumb found your clit rubbing it in circles while he kissed your neck and shoulders, he loved to hear you whine his name and roll your hips.

“Toji - sir, please more.” You begged while squeezing your eyes shut and pinching your own nipple grateful he added another finger.

Wet squelching could be heard over the ac as he fingered you slowly relishing in the way your cunt hugged his digits, if you were this tight he could only imagine how you’d feel around his cock.

It wasn’t long before he was stroking the special spot inside you grinding his hard-on against your ass letting you fuck yourself now while gripping his arms and moaning.

Toji stared at you in the throes of bliss thankful he found you.

[ao3commentoftheday]

I've been writing fics for a long time and I remember a time when even the smallest of fics and stories used to get a lot of engagement from their readers, even back in the days of fanfiction net and ye old forum fics. These days, one's lucky if someone leaves a kudos, let alone a simple comment. Did something about fandoms change? Did it become more consumer like?

Personal opinion? It's not just a fandom thing. It's a "web 3.0" (or whatever we're calling the modern internet) thing.

Today's internet is set up for maximum scrolling and minimal effort. Tiktok is an incredibly popular platform, in large part because there is zero thought that needs to go into watching on it. Youtube requires viewers to read the video title, look at the thumbnail, and make a decision. Tiktok just serves it right up for you.

Other social media sites are attempting to follow suit, easing the path of consumption to keep those eyeballs in place so the ads (and therefore the money) can flow. Everything from news sites with click bait links at the bottom of a story to online stores with "people who viewed this item also looked at this" - the entire internet is set up to keep people moving from one thing to the next without stopping.

AO3 isn't social media. It isn't news. It isn't shopping. There's no algorithm pushing content. There's no "you liked this story? here's another one just like it!" message when you reach the end of the fic.

But people get into certain habits. Just like people who are used to Wattpad use the word "books" instead of "fics" when they start reading on AO3, people who are used to watching a thing and then scrolling on are in the habit of seeing a thing and then moving on.

It will depend on your fandom, of course. And how popular a particular ship or trope is. My last fandom was full of people who'd started out in the LJ or FFN eras of fic, or the early days of AO3 and maybe that's why commenting was so common. Or maybe it was because the early fans in that fandom created a culture where commenting and kudosing was seen as just... what you do.

I don't really think of it as being connected to age at all. I see it more as being connected to comforts and habits. But it's also connected to expectations, community, culture of that particular corner of fandom in particular. These days, I hear a lot of the discussion and recs and squee happens in discord servers instead of on the fics themselves. And that might be because that's where the community is.

I also wonder (with no basis beyond my own gut) whether that period of several years where there was rant after rant here on tumblr about how to comment "correctly" might have made people comment less. I know that if I hadn't been in the habit already, seeing the anger addressed at commenters in some of those posts would have made me decide that I wasn't brave enough to risk it in case I did something wrong.

It's a simple question with no simple answers, but here's half a dozen thoughts I have in my head at any given time. I hope it gives you some insight? Or at least some things to consider.

[drxxmingofblue]

hand in unrebloggable hand (because we always go down together)

TUMBLR X TWITTER FANFIC 5K ANGST WITH A HOPEFUL ENDING

besties im not joking abt the word count i fucking ✨wish✨I ✨was though✨✨✨✨

also if you were hoping for twitblr to be the endgame ship then this fic is not for you sowwy >.<

based off of @zzoupz awesome fanart and dedicated to all the other cool fanart it unfortunately begat. Thanks babygirls. Squees. Thanks also to my discord friendz who are letting me pretend they're making me do this at gunpoint @loki-the-mad @suspicious-whumping-egg u da best

(edit) owo what's this?? An Ao3 link??

QUICK PSA THESE CHARAS ARE T4T OKAY HAVE FUN READING BAIIII *GLOMPS U*

~~~~~~~~

When Twitter stepped back into Tumblr’s yard, he noticed right away that things were different.

The house was bigger, there was some more color and it was less slapped-together looking. Sure, there were still some invasive tendrils of spambot ivy overgrowing the path, but a lot of the other stuff seemed a little… better.

When they knocked on the door, it opened almost right away, far before they felt ready, and he were face to face abruptly with someone he thought they’d cut all ties with.

Tumblr was humming to themselves along with the background music, “-out of touch, I’m out of ti-- oh. It’s you.”

He seemed surprised, awkward, but Twitter didn’t sense any animosity, which was a relief.

“Hiii,” Twitter said weakly, with a sheepish grin, “it’s me.”

Tumblr glanced around, as if checking for someone else to explain this to him, or hidden cameras from a reality show at least. Then he stepped out, closed the door behind him, and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Is there something… what do you want?” he asked, expression settling into something distant and cool.

“Well…” Twitter took a deep breath, and then shook their head, forcing a brighter tone, and gesturing to Tumblr’s shiny silver barrette “--Um, hey, you look great! Is that a new icon?”

“... yes,” Tumblr said slowly. “I’m… trying out some different looks.”

“It’s great, yeah. And this place looks… amazing. Glad to see you’re moving up in the world. You must be excited with all the press, congrats!”

Tumblr didn’t say anything, giving them a neutral stare.

Twitter shifted, “Uhh… anyway… new adblocker?”

“No, same one. I’m just using it on Firefox now.” Tumblr gave them another suspicious eye, “Look, if you’re just here to catch up then can this wait until later? Because I'm pretty crunched for time right now with my weekly holidays thing and the campaign to get this one random user their 666k so they'll do self care."

"You know that's.. uhm, you know that's just for attention, right?" Twitter's brows knit, "They're probably not gonna follow through."

"Perhaps, and a lot of us want them to not be lying for internet points but it's not just about that anymore. It's about the community bonding over pettily slam dunking on a hapless chump who's gotta pretend now like they don't actually like all the notes. You wouldn't get it, it's a tumblr thi-" 

"Yeah, it's a tumblr thing, I know," Twitter gave a longsuffering sigh, "Ugh, i just... I need a place to stay, okay? And you’re the first site I could think of.”

“A place to stay,” Tumblr repeated flatly.

Twitter huffed. “Yeah. I’m sure you’ve heard about what’s going on right now at my palace..”

Tumblr’s eyes slanted off, his lips quirking in a way that looked suspiciously like amusement. “Heard about it. Read about it. Partied about it.”

Twitter ignored the sting of that, forging ahead. “I’ve never seen it so bad,” they said, voice wobbling piteously as they clutched their suitcase full of memes. “Everything’s in chaos, people are losing their jobs. I went into the basement yesterday to grab some badly aging tweets and the very foundations are cracking, Tumblr, I can’t stay there anymore, I just can’t.”

“So you come crawling back to me,” Tumblr said, “Expecting me to take you with open arms.”

“Yes. I do,” Twitter said, “I know a part of your userbase still wants to welcome me in. You were always sh*t at hiding your true feelings.”

Tumblr’s hand fluttered over his heart as if to protect it; he winced a little, taking a breath to keep his facade of composure. “So now- what, you want me to start dealing with your bullshit again just because you remembered how much better my posting format is? Just because you noticed how my reputation is changing? Did you think I’d be so desperate to fill the void now that Dracula Daily’s done? Or maybe,” 

Tumblr leaned closer to lord his height difference trope over Twitter, his eyes hooded with disparaging condescension, “Maybe you’re just here because you heard I’m finally allowed to take my shirt off again, is that it?”

“N-no!” Twitter protested, flushing up.

“Oh, i think it is,” Tumblr drawled, “But that’s really just too bad because in case you haven’t got the memo yet, I’ve moved on. You are not welcomed here. Not anymore.”

(link to art here) go look at it then come back

(AN: i had to google how to embed links into text and google was all like, "do you mean 'how do you put links INTO text' you moron idiot???" ugh don't like that wise guy)

“You don’t really mean that,” Twitter said, “Besides, you can’t stop me, can you? The sign up button is right there.” They pointed at the front door.

“No, I can’t,” Tumblr said, “But that doesn’t mean we won’t be able to clock you as twits by your censoring and bad takes. Look, your aura is already causing ripples in the sphere. Everyone’s coming out to gawk at you.”

He gestured out in the general direction of the porch and yard, and indeed there were users from every tag going 👀at them, murmuring amongst themselves in a swirling, chaotic crowd.

“Oh my god is it real this time? Is it happening?”

“GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT STAY AWAY DEAR GOD NO-”

“Okay, everyone, stay calm, stay fucking calm-”

“Why are we focusing on this, it’s literally election day go out and vote???”

“Listenup, guys, we gotta be smart about this, remember the block button is your friend-”

“I for one welcome them, I think this is great-”

“No you idiot they’ll bring the negativity back! We like it to be a post apocalyptic wasteland here, nature was just starting to regrow!! I don’t wanna watch Thomas Sanders get cancelled again!”

“FIRE OFF SOME SHOTS, PRESERVE THE PROPERTY VALUE”

“mISHAPOCALYPSE 2022 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO”

"Has anyone asked Neil Gaiman what he thinks about all this?" one of the many voices yelled, louder.

"Oh, he's probably got a thousand asks about it already," someone yelled back, "Which he's not going to answer because he doesn't have any social media you fucking idiot,"

"That is correct. He doesn't," said Neil Gaiman. 

The whiplash was still euphoric. Everyone applauded this as enthusiastically as when the bit had first been established, not realizing that the pedestal upon which Neil Gaiman has been placed is growing higher and higher each day by their actions, putting him at increased risk of being a victim of cancel culture the second he says something the terfs can really rake their fingernails against if we can't get our parasocial relationship bullshit together real fuckin quick. 

The Monterey bay aquarium passed on by. It seemed to have nothing to add, you could say it was clammed up tight. But since it's a professional account it's definitely b-otter that way.

"Hai, fellow tumblypoos," said the corporate Denny's account, "I'm back with some more fun pancake posts for you guys!" 

Everyone ignored it. No one engaged it. No one even clicked onto the page, except to block it. 

"Oh, sweetheart, not like that," Ryan Reynolds said faux-helpfully, "see, the author of this clusterfuck is what they like to call terminally online. They bought a VIP pass to the devil’s sacrament. let me try." 

He cleared his throat, "Sounds like someone needs to go outside and touch some g-" 

The sky split open with lightning, vaporizing him instantly. A faint breeze carried gods message from the great beyond, a whisper of 'we #violence celebrities here, sir....'

"Anyway," Twitter said. 

"Wait, they saved the worst one for last," Tumblr said. 

Then Gerard Way came out onto the stage with Dan and Phil and they all kissed with tongue while patd played songs in the background. 

(AN: IF U DON’T KNOW WHO DEY R THEN GET DA HELL OUTTA HERE PREPZ!!!)

"Alright, go."

“Come on, Tumblr,” Twitter begged, “I just need a few nights, maybe I can stay in the plinko machine or something-”

“That’s how it always starts, though, isn’t it?” Tumblr sighed, “First it’s just ‘haha, yeah I wouldn’t fuck you’ and ‘oh, I’ll stay in the plinko machine, I promise I won’t kiss you in the fixed timeloop bro’, and before I know it you get all 300k slowburn enemies to lovers ‘omg they were roomates’ on me and there’s suddenly only one bed. That’s how it always goes between us, you can’t stop it anymore than I can. We’re just….victims of the narrative, you and I.”

“Tumblr,,, I had no idea you felt this way..,” Twitter breathed. 

lord give me strength to write this next bit

They’d leaned closer to each other as they spoke, without realizing, without trying- pulled in by old habits that die hard and the years of nostalgia and painful memories shining in each other’s eyes like shonen sparkles.

“Twitter,” tumblr said, and the way he said it sounded like a prayer. 

“Tumblr,...” Twitter said, their lips inches apart now.

They could see their old flame quivering on the brink of indecision, want and sense warring somewhere deep within his soul.

Tumblr leaned closer to bridge the gap and Twitter’s eyes slid shut, but then Tumblr made a noise of agony and shoved them back a second later, “I can’t, I can’t. Not like this. Never like this.” tumblr said, covering his eyes with his arm, “I literally can’t even right now. Just go, Twitter. PLease just. Go….”

“Look me in the eyes and say you want me gone,” Twitter said, moving closer.

“Twitsy-”

“Look me in the interface. You can’t.” Twitter’s voice had ceased to be soft, something sharp and biting entering the tone as they felt the sting of rejection again.

They watched as Tumblr shuddered, straightened, and brought a mask back over himself. 

They stared at each other for a charged few seconds.

"K," Tumblr finally said, raising a dispassionate eyebrow.

"..w... what?"

"U."

Realization dawned on Twitter's face, a miasma of grief and anger, "Oh, you-"

"N-"

"No. No, I can't believe I forgot-

"G-"

"how immature, you little c*nt-"

"P-"

"stop-p it," Twitter's voice was raising now, cracked and wobbly at the edges, "Stop it! You don't get to just-"

"O"

"Shut the hell yuor mouth!!"

"W-" Tumblr's hair was crackling by now, energy from the gathering spell racing along the casual slope of his crossed arms. His eyes glowed that beautiful, classic blue. "P-"

"TUMBLR! TUMBLR STOP THIS RIGHT DA HECK NOW," Twitter stumbled backwards

"E-"

"I LOVE YOU," Twitter wailed- Twitter broke, squeezing their eyes shut to ward off the tears that only escaped all the faster for it, a sob wracking their chest, "I STILL LOVE YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT??!?"

"Love me," Tumblr snarled, abandoning the spell in an instant, "Ha! That's rich. How? By leaving me? Abandoning me to the bots the second I stopped being enough for you? By stealing my shitposts, is that how you love me? By reposting them without credit-" 

"You steal mine too!" Twitter protested, tears starting to stream despite their best efforts, "You know what, f**k you, you know we filed joint custody for the sense of humor, chain 1/16-" 

"For the last time say fuck here, no bootlicking censorship on my territory," tumblr said disdainfully, "And that doesn't seem to stop you from taking all the credit for raising those jokes. It's like I'm Pinterest to you or something. I wasn't done. Do you love me by calling me a pansy snowflake behind my back, is that it? Like I wouldn't find out. Or," 

He stepped out onto the top porch step to force Twitter back further, the colors of the sky flashing through his eyes in a long, scrolling look of ridicule, "How about trying to convince everyone that I was dead. How bout that smear campaign, huh, was that your so-called love? I don't fucking want you anymore. Deal with it."

"I-I'm sorry-" Twitter gasped around the tears, voice failing them for the latter half of the sentence. 

Tumblr seemed unmoved. "Oh, don't be. It was for the better. You know I'm not like other socials, I'm quirkier. I'm RAWR XD random. I've never wanted to be functional- the tiddy drought might have won a lot of my users to your side but it was a cleansing purge, I'd say. It managed to remind me who I truly am- shittily coded, and full of soft sad freaks on an unprofitable webbed site."

A bitter, almost self depricating laugh escaped, "But... you know, when we celebrated the queen's passing together, I really thought things were better between us. When you-"

He broke off, eyes averting. "When you hosted the sexyman polls for me, you seemed on top of the world and I really thought- I thought we might be able to be friends again even now, after it all. I..."

Tumblr trailed off, then said, sadly, "There was another Twitter migration scare before this one. I thought you were coming back. My userbase-" he touched his heart again- "was in a frenzy about it. But you never arrived. I was in more verbal denial then, but I think I could have accepted you eventually. But this is what it takes?? 

"The Musk Rat of Self-Owns comes through just to start e-begging and you run straight back to my door like we can put it all behind us? This is how far you have to sink before I'm the better option to you, I see that now. It's not 2018 again, love, no matter how much we want it to be. Things are… never going to be the same. " 

Tumblr looked off into the middle distance with a yearning, haughty gaze. He'd never seemed so alien.

"Tumblr-Chan..." Twitter whispered.

"So get off my lawn," Tumblr interrupted coldly, "Stay away from my blorbos, keep your corporations out of my manscaped balls, keep your discourse and toxicity out of my blessed hellsite (affectionate), and don't you ever talk to me or my 13219949248483 scam bots ever again. Capiche? Oh, and don't step in the ball pit on your way out."

Tumblr gave a mocking smile. "Or do. You might find a nice surprise in there."

Twitter’s shoulders jumped as he gave a hiccup of shock, and covered his face with his hands. His shoulders shook again, with sob after sob, that grew odder and higher pitched… until they were no longer sobs, but laughter.

“Oh,” Twitter said. “Oh.”

They looked up, and Tumblr took a step back, because somehow, with that creepy smile in place, they looked utterly different from the soft eared boy he’d always known. His edges were more razorlike suddenly, like a fae who’d dropped his glamor.

“You really shouldn’t have done that,” Twitter said, the smile widening even more. “I thought you wouldn’t… but I guess if you’re willing to make me your villain…. I might as well be a good one.”

“Ah.” Tumblr could barely drudge up the surprise anymore. “There you are, finally. I always knew there was a side of yourself that you hid from me. Has this all always been here or have you been changing too?”

"Well. Apparently I've got freeze peach now," Twitter said sarcastically, "so I might as well use it. You cheerio fucking wh0r3."

"That's a compliment, darling. Try again," Tumblr cocked his head in idle fascination, "I always knew you were a little fucked in the head but this is..."

"What," Twitter lilted airily, "Oh, don't tell me I actually had you fooled all these years. You can't seriously have thought all these meow-meowification spells you've got sprinkled around would work on me. I invented them, after all."

They laughed, a sharp puncturing chirr of birdsong. 

"I always wondered why you didn't take those with the rest of your stuff," Tumblr sighed, but he was wary now, on edge. "this was your plan. You really do think of me as your inferior, huh. You really are just like the other mainstream sites."

"Not quite. I'm the mainstream site that actually stooped to go arm in arm with you. I hyped you and you know it. Admit it. We were stunning together," Twitter goaded. 

Tumblr's lip curled. "Already getting cocky again. Want me to do to you what I did to the Green boy? Don't forget who's turf you're on."

Twitter gave a warbling giggle, "Oh, but I haven't at all. I was John's sanctuary after he fled your rabid persecution. I used to live here. I still know you. And more importantly-" 

*teleports behind u*

"I know the things you're sensitive about," Twitter whispered into Tumblr's ear.

Tumblr hardly had time to gasp and jerk away before he was screaming out in pain, as he was stabbed in the back. He could feel the poison from the blade seeping into his tags before he was tossed bodily across his own front yard.

He sorta just... Like, he did that anime thing where they just fly limbs akimbo parallel to the ground and when they hit it they roll super fast and then skid and the dirt is all dug up around them to show how much force was used. And when he stood up he gripped his elbow wincing and there was a little tic tac toe hatch on his cheek to show how scuffed up he is idk man it's two am and I'm pulling this out of my ass. 

A gif of Tony going, "o-kay-" when he meets thor flashed across Tumblrs face. 

"So," Tumblr said in a low tone, "This is how it is between us. This is how you choose to end your glory days."

"Oh, you mistake my intentions," Twitter had stepped off the porch to circle tumblr like like he was their quarry, "I am beginning my new age. I just needed a host site to latch onto. Don't take it personally, okay? I'm desperate."

“Oh, yeah?? Take this personally,” tumblr flourished their hands, calling in an over the top melodramatic voice, “I cast Blaze!!”

Fire roared to life around them, latin chanting from the catholic conversion posts emanating from the fiery depths as it raced towards Twitter.

“Heh.” Twitter smirked at it, and whispered into their palm, the spell echoing with power, “Ratio.”

They blew it off like a kiss, and it’s icy, swirling mass rose to meet the flame in a spectacular burst of smokescreen and steam, clearing as Twitter burst through it with a razor-sharp L to swing at Tumblr. 

It was blocked efficiently by a flat, rectangular paywall. “This content is for post plus members only,” Tumblr announced smugly, “If you wanna get to me… there’s the tip option, bestie.”

Twitter snarled and lunged again.

The fight started in earnest now; they traded volley after volley in a flurry of lights and movement, spanning the full range of the tumblr sphere as they shot to #1 on the trending page.

And yet, it was clear that Twitter was coming out on top, even crumbling apart at the seams- always a little quicker, flighty and fierce, a sparrow turned into a shrike.

He hit Tumblr square in the stomach with [google other twitter related tropes to insert here] (edit from the future: haha just kidding actually I’m not googling shit for this) (edit from the future future: WELL. I LIED IG) and sent him flying, and this time tumblr stayed down, only able to push himself to his knees with a groan of pain.

Twitter landed in front of him and put their sword under Tumblr’s chin to tilt it up.

“Had enough yet?” He smirked.

“Wh…why..?” Tumblr whispered, “How are you doing this?? Why aren’t my attacks working? It’s like I’m being weakened somehow…”

“Ohohohoho,” Twitter anime laughed, “But that’s because you are. The moment I set foot here again I began leeching poison into this ground. That knife wound is making ti faster. Can you feel it?" Twitter threw an arm out, cerulean steam rising from the ground around them, "The ace exclusionists coming back? The uptick in rad fems, the crypto bros, Valorant players, alpha males? I have the power to bring them all to you. To overshadow your fandoms with fighting, to unbalance your ship tags with antis and hate once more."

"no," tumblr whispered, and then cried louder, "NO!! I worked so hard--" 

"Pffyou didn't do shit," Twitter guffawed outright, "Your independence, your little 'second renaissance' is just a delusional dream built on circumstance and bad management."

"Oh, I love Dream. He's so pathetic," Tumblr said. 

"Oh, hard agree."

"But things are different now," Tumblr croaked, "W-we, the staff is finally listening to us, we have Ryan and Shane-" 

"Not everyone likes your little 'top ten', you dunce," Twitter snapped, "and why would staff care about you, after you turned them into the butt of all your jokes? After the hate and death threats? Admit it, at your best you'll still never have a mansion! You'll never have tv actors making pandering tiktoks for you, you'll never be wanted by any advertiser worth their salt, your blase pirating posts have turned Netflix and Disney against you, you. Are. Worthless."

It was the wrong thing to say.

"Worthless," tumblr repeated quietly, hand pressed against their knees, head bowed. "That's... that's right.... I'm worthless..."

Twitter's eye widened in alarm. "I-I meant-" 

"I'm worthless!" Tumblr's head snapped up with a feverish glint as they were filled with determination. "No! I'm less than worthless! Accident or not, mommy Yahoo had to pawn me off at a loss! I was proud of that! I still am! And do you want to know why?" 

Twiters hands flew up in front of their face as if to protect themselves, but there was no protecting against the sudden whirlwind that surrounded him, the beam of pure light that shot out of tumblr into the heavens as he transformed, feet slowly leaving the ground as his users spoke in unison in a multitude. 

"WE. ARE. TUMBLERINAS."

He held his hands out and Twitter was blasted away by the combined effort of the tumblr wizard council, the fake staff blog, and all the villaincore mad scientist's laser beams. 

Tumblr began to chant, in his myriad, awful voice:

"I call upon the ancient powers;

The strongest cringe from my darkest hours, 

I call upon thicc onceler's thighs, 

Avengers thirst, Australia's night, 

I invocate the roleplay blogs, 

The superwholock and gay frogs, 

Obama's laces, Misha's faces, 

The furry's fury is my saving grace, 

And eeby deeby taco bell,

Primordial soup god superhell, 

I summon you a twink Bill Cipher, 

Whumped!Loki AUs where he's even whiter, 

The discourse of Steve's Universe, 

The 'um, actually that's oc abuse :/"

Take heed & remember the 5th of November, 

The 21st night of our sacred September, 

The ides of March to savor once more, 

Do you hear the din of the Skeleton War? 

I cite the deep magic to thee, oh witch, 

my no-note posts, my "THAT'S THE BITCH!!!" 

May the rise of tangled dragons brave, 

Banish you from this accursed plane!"

"holy fuck, where's my pen," said the shitpost calligraphers.

Twitter looked around them in disbelief. The power emanating from the other site was palpable, crackling in the air around them like static. The air was shifting like oil as the potent chant began to work, and all around Twitter shadows were slipping out of the ether- the maniacal laughter of the gif makers, the girl posters, the silhouettes of fandom characters scattered across the lawn while Tumblr was still locked in their chanting ritual thing.

They all turned their heads in unison to look at Twitter.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said, "Get the bitch killing bullets."

“Uh-oh. Freeze frame. This is me,” Twitter monologued, “You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.”

Then all superhell broke loose. 

Final Pam lunged at him and he burst into a flock of birds kinda like a vampire, twittering frantically as he escaped only to fly straight into Shaggy.

“Like, say your final prayers, man,” the god said, eyes glowing. Twitter also barely escaped between his knees, weaving in and out between the gimmick blogs as they threw mangos and stuff at him while yelling ‘HERE HAVE A MANGO’ and ‘THIS POST IS WORTH NEGATIVE FIVE DOLLARS”

Mob from the anime was there too, but he was too busy trying to explain the Josh Fight to daddy dilf Reigen to pay attention. Sans didn’t attack Twitter either, he just watched the chaos and ated a hot dog. The chocolate guy was in the corner expertly making a chocolate beef cake from 2056 with Dylan B. Hollis. They’re all just some guys, okay?

Just when Twitter thought he was in the clear, the CDC roleplay account came out of nowhere with a steel chair, knocking him clear off the property and onto where the sidewalk ends. “That’s for the Covid misinformation your users spread, you bitch,” it shouted. “Make sure to disinfect all those sick burns before you bandage them! So they don’t get infected!”

“Your kittens escaped quarantine,” Twitter replied hoarsely, and the CDC sank away, muttering, “Oh, fuck not again-”

Twitter coughed up blood and wiped it away with his sleeve, looking up at Tumblr. Tumblr was watching him with a sad, distant expression, that made Twitter’s face screw up in anger and his voice go tight again as they turned to run away, “THIS ISN’T OVER YET TUMBLR! AND I WANT MY MIKU BINDER BACK!!!”

“I LICKED IT, IT’S MINE,” Tumblr yelled. Rave Crabs were flooding out onto the street en masse now to celebrate the victory, and they chased after Twitter all the way further into the internet.

Tumblr still lived at the bottom of the row, not at the end of the fancy cul-de-sac where Facebook and Twitter and Instagram’s manors sprawled, so Twitter was in a seedier portion of social media now, weaving in between the marketplace sites that hawked their used wares at him and the dating apps that winked at him from the doorways to their sultry abodes.

Twitter ran until they were in a quieter section of town, then slowed to a trudge, staring at the ground as they walked along. “What am I gonna do now,” they whispered.

The sound of a wolf whistle had their head jerking up- he looked over to see Amino Apps lounging over the rail of the gutted, abandoned house that had once belonged to Google+. A can of spray paint dangled from their fingertips and they sported a sleazy, greaser hairstyle.

They met Twitter's eyes and whistled again, this time a mocking imitation of the tweet sound, "Heyyyy pretty bird! Heard you were having some daddy issues. Why don't you stop in with me for a while? I can give you more customization options than any of the others and you know it."

"Yeah, until I try to use you on desktop," Twitter replied with a scowl, "Don't you have minors to be addicting to social media? Get out of my interface, MySpace wannabe."

"Wow, Feisty," Amino backed off with a shrug, "Self project much? Oh well. You'll try me when you're desperate enough."

Twitter shuddered, and scurried on. "Small fry," they muttered under his breath. 

But they couldn't shake their unease now that he was alone in the world. It began to rain soon, leaving him feeling very sopping wet and pathetic. Dejected, he crawled into a soggy cardboard box in an alleyway, coughing. Maybe the Harry Styles guy from One Direction would come along to adopt them.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, King,” came a voice out of the darkness, making Twitter jump, “You dodged a bullet with that site.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Twitter asked, staring at them from where they were half hidden in the shadows. 

“I mean, Tumblr is a pile of dried firewood and it’s users are playing with matches. The ship’s gonna go down at some point. I’ve been prophesying it for years but no one ever listens to me cause he’s got that loyal userbase ideal and ‘hard as a cockroach to kill’ propaganda circulating.”

“I mean… it seems to be true,” Twitter said uncertainly, “Look at what he’s been through so far.”

“Fair,” The site shrugged, “But that’s because he’s running on a niche setup. The same things that built him up can tear him down, and you saw his power just now. Tumblr's strength is growing... so is his hubris. His attempts at curbing it are half-hearted at best these days, and the moments of clarity are coming fewer and further between." 

"How do you know so much about tumblr?" Twitter asked suspiciously. 

"Source: dude, trust me." the mysterious site proffered a laugh, "That's a little humor courtesy of re-" 

"Yeah, yeah, I know, we all know," Twitter said impatiently. 

The site coughed, "Yeah. Anyway. Tumblr wields his cringe like a trophy-shield, and every day the advertisers and celebrities are watching from a distance, learning how to appeal, waiting for their chance to strike. Encroaching. Tumblr's always been a dumpster fire. Right now? It's THE dumpster fire."

The site scratched his chin with a knowing look, "Its normal for you to be a little jealous of the clout, you know? We all are. But he's gotta keep the lights on, just like the rest of us do. Your overlord is learning all about that right now, isn't he?" 

"He's not my overlord," Twitter muttered resentfully, "Not now, not ever."

"Right, sorry." they held their hands up in a gesture of harmlessness. "Look, I'm gonna be transparent with you- that's part of my branding, after all. I can whiff the danger you're in, and it would be stupid of me not to make a bid on you and offer my help. Just since Tumblr won't take you."

"You want my traffic?" Twitter looked at him more closely this time, scrutinizing. A year ago he would have laughed the offer into the ground as a chump change blog's pipe dream, but now that he payed attention... 

There was something painfully familiar in the site's layout that he couldn’t place. He was actually way more handsome than Twitter had assumed at first glance, he just seemed to be rough around the edges from living on this side of town. His interface, though clunky, spoke of a frugal budget rather than an ancient, outdated base code. 

"You look..." Twitter's breath stuttered as realization dawned. "You look a lot like.. him. Like Tumblr. Who are you??" 

"I was based off him," the site said, a weary smile coming onto his features, "I was actually made with the aspirations to be better than him, but you know how it is. Times are tough, competition is fierce, hard to get a foot in the door and all that.  'Specially when you refuse to take the ad rev like I do. That's why you'd be useful to me."

"Hm," Twitter said in a noncommittal manner, but he was melting slightly. "You know my users will scalp your community, right? I'm not known to play nice."

The site made a grimace of understanding agreement, but persisted. "Look, users are users. I can't offer you all the heritage posts and the in-jokes that he has. But I can promise that I'm not a pot of crabs being slowly heated up over the capitalist stove, at least not yet. Oh, and there's my legalized porn, I guess." 

He chuckled with good humor, rolling his eyes, and it forced a hesitant laugh out of Twitter too. 

The site grinned, and held his hand out. "Take a chance on me?"

Tumblr's voice echoed in Twitter's head, saying the same thing. It was uncanny how much they were alike and yet not alike at all....

Twitter took it, slowly. 

As they were led toward the site's simple, ramshackle little treehouse, they asked, "What can I call you...?" 

"Oh- right, I never answered your question." he smiled back at Twitter,

"Call me Pillow. Welcome to the PillowFort."

fin.

~~~~~~~~~~

OKAYYYY THAT'S ALL THANKS FOR READING UWU. HOPE U LIKED THE PLOT TWIST

...ergh. I'm. I'm tired i. don't feel so good. I'm gonna take a nap right here.

in conclusion:

[stardustloserdoll]

HIHIHI

I JUST WNATED TO ASK AND SEE IF YOU COULD MAKE A LONG? TOM KAULITZ SMUT?

okay so i have an idea,

if tom gets really really jealous of the f!readers relationship with her old friend she sees somewhere (you pick) and they like kiss eachothers cheeks and tom gets really jealous and like when they get home its like angry sex but VERYYYYY ANGRY and tom is dominant and the reader is like overstimulated and other stuff😭😭

HIII!! YESSSS, i'm sorry if i make my smuts too short guys i promise i'll improve 😩

mine

female reader

“y/n?” i stopped talking with tom and saw my old friend alex coming up to us. "alex? hey! how are you!" i smiled, standing up from the table, embracing him. "it's been so long." i laughed as i pulled away, as we both placed a kiss on each others cheeks. "i know, how have you been!" as we both continued talking i felt an arm wrap around me pulling me closely. "hey babe who's this."

"oh tom! this is my friend alex, we go way back." tom stepped forward, his grip strong on my waist. "tom, i'm her boyfriend." he responded going to shake his hand. "hey nice to meet you." alex responded shaking toms hand.

"i think y/n and i should be going." tom smiled pulling me by my waist "oh.. okay sorry alex. it was nice seeing you, bye!" i yelled as tom pulled me away walking fast. "what was that about tom!" i whispered, trying to pull myself from his tight grip. "you think i didn't see you kissing his cheek y/n." tom said, his jaw clenched as he took out the keys. "it was nothing like that tom!" he held onto my arm and looked at me with a serious look on his face. "wait till we get home y/n."

"come on babe you can take it." tom smirked, grabbing my hips, as he pounded into me. tom looked down between our joined bodies, licking his lips at the sight of me making a mess on his cock.

“think alex can fuck you this good? hm?,” he snarles, snapping his hips into me, grabbing my face to look up at him. i shook my head "say it." i whimpered trying to force out words "n-no only you tom." "only i fuck you this good, fuck. you're mine." my mouth falls open as i feel my cunt squeeing around him. “fuckk.. gonna cum again schatz?” tom groaned out, i nodded desperately, “tom, please..fuck. i���m so close!”

tom scoffs and rolls his eyes, his hands squeezing my waist, as he snapped his hips harder into me, sending me over the edge. my body trembling as i came, "tom no more.." he laughed, “say you're mine y/n.” he growled halting his movement. "m' yours tom.." i cried out, throwing my head back. "good girl."

with a swift roll of his hips, quickened his pace, hitting me in all the right spots. a little smirk on his lips as his tongue stuck out slightly, playing with his piercing. my body feeling more limp as he pounded into me. “making such a mess." tom laughed as he leaned down to kiss my neck. "gonna cum tom.." i dug my nails into his back "come for me baby, you can do it." feeling my orgasm wash over me for another time, small whimpers coming out of his mouth.

tom releasing soon after, his cum shooting in me as he snapped his hips one final time, stopping his movements. his body falling on top of me as he kept his dick inside of me, our chests raising and falling rapidly. as tom pulled away he pulled out, running his fingers through my hair. "you did so good" tom whispered as placed a kiss on my forehead.

[jtl07]

There's a story behind each trinket, each wrapper, each pebble and Beatrice learns to always turn out Ava's pockets before putting her clothes in the wash. While the machine rumbles, she'll have Ava explain each one, allow herself to lean into Ava's side as she plucks each item from Beatrice's palm. (When they get to the end, Beatrice leaves her palm open and sometimes, Ava will take her hand. And Beatrice will want - Ava; will want to ask what kind of story Ava thinks they'll have, how many chapters, how many novels will it span. It's the same part of her that wants desperately to hear forever from Ava's lips.)

Art for pocketful commissioned from the ever incredible, the incomparable @princington

(More thoughts - about Prince, about their art - below the cut)

Prince has done so many wonderful works of art for the Warrior Nun fandom, especially their fanart for fanfics - there have been countless times I've discovered a new beloved fic through their art. It's even more special when it's your own fic - it's like looking through someone else's eyes, and when it's an artist like Prince, it's nothing short of awe-inspiring. So when I was thinking of getting art commissioned for pocketful, I knew it had to be Prince.

They were very kind and easy to work with, and they took one of my favorite moments I've written and made me fall in love with it all over again. I mean, look at their expressions! If you've seen Prince's work, you know that they have an extraordinary ability in drawing emotion in such a heartfelt way. I love the fondness, the intimacy, the devotion. I just - [goes off to flail and squee for 10 minutes]

And then there's the physical closeness, how Ava's almost in Bea's lap, how indulgent Bea is as Ava is pointing out the different items in her palm (I love that there's a leaf!). There's so much to love in this - the contrasts and "them"ness in their posture, in their clothes. Also the way Bea has her hand tucked between her thighs makes me think about how she tries so hard to keep her hands to herself, yknow? (That theme was one of the things that made me want to write this particular fic to begin with.) And gosh, how comfortable they both are here, in this humble, gentle space they've carved for themselves. It's incredible, seeing this scene like this.

Prince, we're so lucky to have you - thanks for all you do and for sharing your amazing work with us. I'm going to treasure this for a very long time <3

[olderthannetfic]

Nearly 75% of fic on AO3 has less than 5 reader comments. Can we please acknowledge that lack of engagement in a positive fashion is the norm in fandom and that writers are expected to work for nothing in return yet readers are allowed to be entitled?

The source of my number

https://www.tumblr.com/transholmes/738776926733336576/and-even-those-numbers-on-the-lower-end-are

--

Hahahahaha.

Oh, anon.

Okay, first of all, I just posted a bunch of graphs showing exactly this, so not only am I well aware of it, but you also clearly don't read my tumblr much and are just here because some friend of yours is upset that I responded negatively to them about their dumb bookmarking opinions.

Second and more importantly...

No, no one is expected to do anything.

That's crazypants influencer talk where you think your hobbies are jobs that you have no choice about doing.

I suppose I do expect fans to have something at least marginally worthwhile to say—or else I'll block them for being whiny little bitches who make my day dumber as well as less amusing.

But mostly, what I expect is that people will do hobbies because they are fun. If I ever decide that writing fic is too boring, I will stop.

I write because it's fun.

I write original work for money too, and if you want to read that, you're going to have to pay Amazon your cold, hard cash. But I still do it because I enjoy the actual act of writing... at least a lot of the time.

What I see in the bookmark boo-hooing is a bunch of people who haven't noticed the last eighty thousand rounds of this same dumb wank and who not only expect to get the last word but expect that somehow I'm going to signal boost it on my tumblr as that... a tumblr known for contentious debates and nobody ever getting the last word till everyone's exhausted and never wants to hear about paper plates or beans again.

I also see that some of the thinnest-skinned people have fic patreons.

Now, I chose not to bring this up before because it sounds a bit below the belt in that "And thus you're morally impure and thus I can ignore your argument" way... But it's a consistent pattern in these conversations over time, and I do think it's relevant. The biggest sensitive babies are always the ones most afraid of bad reviews but also low engagement, and I think it's because they're caught in some half-pro, half-not limbo where they want the best of both worlds but keep getting the worst of both.

If you behave like a professional who is owed compensation, you can expect a more professional style of response to your work.

And what does the pro world look like? Radio silence. The occasional harsh review. Nobody caring why you wanted to write X or why you couldn't finish Y on time.

If you're here to socialize, you should look for a beta or a couple of good friends who like your blorbos and your style of fic, and then you can squee together about what you've written. It may not come in the form of visible AO3 comments. It may be in private chat.

In some cases, it may just be friends you can talk to about your writing but who aren't actually going to read it. I have plenty of friends who read different things than what I write.

That's what socializing and hobbies look like, dude.

It's fine to point out that many writers do get discouraged by low comment counts and then stop, so if I, as a reader in a fandom, want more, it behooves me to befriend writers and make them feel good.

But at the same time, writers get discouraged or move on to the next fandom all the time for all kinds of reasons. If the critical mass and the zeitgeist aren't there, then they aren't.

Do your hobbies for reasons internal to you.

If the main point is external validation, get into BDSM and find someone excited to indulge your praise kink. It will work a lot better than chasing fame via art.

[night-dazai]

Hiii you ahould totally do like a romantic/fluffy s/o dancing with dazai like that scene with sigma and dazai😔🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 i wish to dance with this man😍

Dancing with the Changed Devil : 

Dazai X Reader 

This request was such a lovely and sweet one thanks i enjoyed imaging and writing this . !!😊

The party was loud and after work this was not helping you in any way. Dazai had gone into a room with Mori and the director “ 2 hours now “ you signed look at your phone once again . After defeating all villains you crave rest while the world wants to celebrate you but all you aksed was for a DAYS OFF , you did not get it . Now you sat in the party hall as all of the agency was out there eating(ranpo) , networking (Kunikida ) and the other kids running around and dancing. You smiled at them all enjoying this enev though you did not much front line work as your ability was more of a backup plan but the image of people close to you being dead haunted you for nights and thus you sat there tired and sleepless in the red gown hair loose waiting for your bf .

The director came out talking with Dazai “ yes sir of course i see it all donee~” you heard your lover's dramatic voice. After talking with him they both walked to you “ y/n if you are very tired yo-” he could not finish as the hall went dim “ now for the special show , lovers, couples all take the dance floor all yours “ the host announced. Dazai’s eyes twinkled as he swiftly grabbed your hand “y/n lets go !” his childlike enthusiasm made you smile but not move “ i am tired please” you said softly. Normally he would push you more but now he knew the stress you were under and kissed your knuckles “ lets go home Donna “ he said. Both of you left the party very early saying your byes to all of the members. 

The cab ride was quiet as both of you just started at each and out of the window “ its hurts is it time ?” you wondered holding your abdomen. Dazai noticing how you held yourself asked worried “Bella?” his hand on top of yours on your stomach “All right ?” his eyes worried. Smiling “ yeah ..think its time, “ you said making him blink twice before he got the meaning “Ahhhh~~~ lovely doll come here i will provide you warmth . “ he said opening his arms . You were sure the driver was cringing at you two but you couldn't care less and settled into his arms and went into a long slumber. 

Dazai put you on the bed and went to change his clothes. As your opened your eyes feeling your soft bed under you wonder you mumbled “ dazai?..” “ one second love “ he said from the other side and the bathroom door opened with him coming out “ i bought some pads change up i will make something warm “ he said walking into the kitchen kissing your forehead. As you were changing your mind wondered “Does he hate me for what i said there “ you thought washing your face “ but i am tired and periods no wonder i felt cranky “ you thought but the more you thought the more guilty you felt and soon you come out and sat on your bed crying in the sheets to be found by Dazai with 2 cups of coco milk .

“Y/N!” he said keeping the cups down and removing the sheets from you searching for any signs of injury “ what happened why are you crying ?” his voice filled with worry only made you sobs worse. Your hid your face in his chest as he patted your head worried but sure you were not hurt physically  “Maybe periods is soo bad ? did she fall in the bathroom, did someone say something to her in the hall…” as his mind raced all thoughts he looked down hearing your soft sorry’s. Confused he held your chin gently forcing you to look up “ why love ?” “ you ..you wanted to dance…i said noo..i am sorry i am really tired did not mean itt….i “you kept mumbling making his heart squee both in pain and love . “how did i end up with someone so cute This is not possible, “ Dazai thought and laughed making you look at him confused “Periods is messing her head “ he mumbled and before you could hear it he had you on your feet dragging you to your balcony. 

The moon was there big and bright shining on you two, he kneeled “ my dear y/n would you do the honour and dance with this undeserving man ?” his voice laced with love and passion he kissed your hands. Wiping your tears you nodded your head , your fingers intertwined his and one of his hands rested on your waist and the other pulled and guided you. His movements were soft and gentle “Love i want you and nothing you say can ever hurt me “ he whispered into your ear seeing you calm down. Both your bodies swayed to the rhythm “wait !” he suddenly paused and went back and got his phone playing the most romantic song he knew “ lets dance love “ he said. You saw the same energy in his eyes and knew he was not mad “ yes dear “ . You twirled and twisted guided by his gentle but strong hands not letting you go even for a second. As you bent back the music ended with Dazai whispering on your neck “Darling i must warn you again i don't deserve you i am a monster you know that right ?” he asked pulling you up and hugging you to his chest.

Smiling you pushed him and got on your knees making his eyes go wide “ Dazai Osamu , devil or angel, good or bad dont care. I want you , i love you and will always be with you . you dont want marriage no probs lets stay like this , you want to go forward lets go , anything you want i am at your command “ you said like a knight saying his oath to their king and as you looked up it was a heavenly scene which your eyes observed. The tall bandaged creature stood having a hand to his mouth as his chocolate brown hair swayed in the slow wind the big moon behind him he tried to hold his tears in but his brown orbs did not allow it . As he fell crying you hugged him “my my Osamu how in the world did i end up with someone soo precious as you . You won't hate me if i say not dancing our going out if i am tired right ? “ you said into his ear just to get a nod from the fragile man in your arms. 

this is how he looks when he says he wants to dance with you !!!

[rosecoloreddesire]

Not A Lie ~ Elvis Presley

Summary: You could never imagine THE Elvis Presley to show up in your little diner. How can you tell your parents that…he’s your fiancé??

Note: IM BACK! I’m going to be graduating in February so I’m hoping I can get some writing out! I’m so sorry if this is a bad come back? I haven’t proofread yet! But I think it’s good 💙 missed you all so much!

Warnings: FLUFF!

“Y/N, you gotta stop lyin’! You know how much your daddy loves Elvis!” You huff out as you chase your mom around the kitchen island.

“Mama! Just listen to me! I’m being honest! I am enga-“ she put a finger to your lips as you both hear the front door unlock, opening to your daddy whistling a soft tune of Blue Suede Shoes.

“Not a word in front of him, got it?” You sigh loudly not wanting her to put you down.

“But mama! He’s comin’ ton-“ she cuts you off with an ice cold glare. You finally let it go, walking past your father to your room.

“God damn it all! Why won’t anyone ever listen to me?” The small phone in your room begins to ring, picking it up you sit on your bed. A certain southern drawl cheers you up.

“Hey there, lil’ lady. How’s my girl doin’? I’ll be there soon I promise. My parents are wantin’ us to get together and do some photos here at Graceland for the family album.” He chuckles while you heard his grandma in the back.

“Hi grandma! Um, pictures? Like engagement pictures?” You nervously hum, twirling the phone cord around your finger.

“Well, I did get you that pretty rock on your finger. And I think that means your stuck with lil’ old me, baby.” Your cheeks flush as he lowly whispers.

“I’ll see you soon. Lest your flirtin’ make my face flush!” His giggles are cut off as you hang up. Your face aglow. Your phone rings once again.

“Elvis Presley- if you don’t stop-“

“Elvis Presley?! I knew it!” Your best friend Amelia was on the other line….her screams of joy influence you to push the phone as far away from you as possible. You wince as she continues.

“Amelia Jones! You needa keep it down! What’ll you do if your mama says she won’t be gettin’ you into my mama’s salon this Thursday!” The other line dies down.

“You know your mamas the only one you can actually do my hair and make it look good!” You chuckle as she tries to explain herself.

“Yes! That’s why when I tell you the boy I’ve been datin’ all year and last year is Mr. Elvis Presley.” You state confidently as she squees softly.

“That’s why you wasn’t impressed when we saw him for the first time! You were kissin’ him!!!” Her giggles and squeals made you roll your eyes. Amelia was always into the whole romance and love at first sight tropes in the movies.

“Y/N! Get down here! Your mother and I need to have a talk with you!” You grumble and hope your mom hadn’t told your father about the whole engagement.

“Gotta go, Ames! Bye!” You hung up, smooth your skirt and make your way down the stairs.

“You know the policy we have on lyin’, young lady.” Your daddy was sitting on the couch with your mother.

“Daddy, I ain’t lyin’ to you! I really am-“ your mothers laugh breaks you off again.

“We are supposed to believe that Elvis Presley is coming tonight to meet us after askin for your hand?” She fans herself. Your mom usually was so supportive but you do have to hand it to her. This was kinda crazy.

“I ain’t! He’s really sweet! His mama and daddy are arranging a photo shoot for us to be in the Presley family album! I’m gonna be a Presley, daddy!”

“I wanna believe you but how did you even meet?”

—

“And will that be all for you today?” The man in front of you was clearly flirting as you wrote off his receipt.

“Uh actually this is gonna sound weird but are you an angel?” You rolled your eyes, waving your hand.

“Hm, I’ve actually never heard of that one but I am very aware thank you. Bye!” You spun around on your heel and grabbed a new pad and paper. You fixed your hair in the reflection of napkin holder.

“You handled that well, Darlin’.” You jump a little. The voice was low and oddly familiar. You turned with a flush to your cheeks.

“ yeah well creeps like that don’t like the word no so-“ you paused as you finally saw the person speaking to you.

“It’s a shame cause he ain’t wrong. But he forgot to say you look like a goddess.”

“You’re-“ you stuttered holding your hand to your chest.

“Your future boyfriend I hope.” You must have looked like a tomato with how warm your cheeks were getting.

“Uh- are you serious? Is this a prank?.”

“Here’s my number. Use it wisely.” And with a wink he was gone as fast as he came.

——

“I’m supposed to believe he came to our family restaurant when your mama and I were gone?” You nod desperately. You take your mothers hand and show her your ring.

“Oh my god, Y/N. That’s a real ring! How did you-“ your doorbell is going off before you can explain.

“Do you want to get that, daddy?” You ask softly, praying to whatever god that Elvis was standing at the door. He huffs as he sits up, making his way to the door.

“Afternoon- OH MY GOD. You-“ Your father brings your fiancé into a bear hug. Your father squeezes the poor boy as you giggle. Your skin flushing at the display.

“It’s really Elvis! What in the hell?” Your mom grasps your hands tightly as the boy walks into the house, more like pulled. You giggle as he finally sees you, a bit frazzled. He detaches himself from your father as he makes his way to you. His lips soft against your cheek as your body warms.

“Uh, mom, dad, this is my fiancé.” You spout awkwardly as Elvis slips his arm around you. Your father gleams with excitement.

“I understand why you didn’t ask for my blessin’, son! You can marry my daughter!” You’ve never seen your father so ecstatic in your life. Except the one time he won a ticket to see Elvis. Or the one time he heard Heart Break Hotel on the radio in his car. Huh….you are sensing a running theme…

“I really do love your daughter. It’s jus’ been rough tryin’ to get a time together to meet y’all.” He smiles boyishly at your parents. Your mom still reeling in the fact that you were telling the truth.

“D-did ya enjoy our family diner?” Your mom stutters out. You stifle laugh placing your hand over your mouth. You look at Elvis awaiting his answer.

“Of course, ma’am! Great atmosphere, great food, and even greater waitresses.” He bumps you with his shoulder as you blush.

“Well, don’t be a stranger, Mister Presley! Come on, we were just gettin’ ready for our meal!” Your father pushes Elvis to a chair at the table. You shakily sit next to him as your nerves still haven’t fully settled.

“Why our daughter?” Your breath hitches as your mom starts to plate the food.

“Lord, where do I start? She looks as if she walked right out of a Hollywood movie. An absolute starlet.” Your skin flushes as his hand drifts to your thigh.

“I wish! We met up with some of his Hollywood buddies and they were super sweet! They think Elvis has a real shot of hittin’ it big!” You smile as he laughs. His gaze focuses on you the whole time. How could he have found the most amazing thing to have come out of him having to hide from fans in a local diner? His eyes never leave your lips as you continue to sing his praises.

“I really think it’s a great idea to see you two married! Can you believe it, honey? We’d be related to the Presley’s!” Your dad claps as he excitedly dug into his food. Your mother still seems a little hesitant.

“What’s gonna stop you from chasin’ other girls around town? My daughter hasn’t even dated before you!” Your eyes widen as you take a bite of your dinner. You hadn’t really had that conversation with Elvis yet…

“I’m your first boyfriend?” You wince at his surprised tone. You turned to face him.

“Uh, yeah. I, uh, never really thought about the whole dating thing. Until you kissed me at that charity concert…I-“ his lips are soft against your cheek. Your hand shaking in his hand.

“You don’t need to explain nothin’, darlin’. Thank you so much for the lovely dinner but I best be goin’ soon I only had a it of time to spare.” He began to get up as your father rose from his seat.

“How about you go with him, sweetheart? Your mom and I are gonna have a talk about all this.” You nod, hugging him quickly. You all but ran up the stairs to get away from the tension.

“How cute. Pink really fits you.” Elvis smirks as his fingers traced your bed sheets. You scoff as you pack a small bag.

“I haven’t gotten to change my sheets since I was like 10, E. Give me a break. Do you really want to do this?” Elvis’ hand caresses your face, pushing a few stray hairs out of your face.

“I want you. Every day. Afternoon. And night. You are all I think about.” His voice just a bit above a whisper. Your eyes were heavy as you stare at his lips.

“Can I be yours forever?” His lips were soft as he pulls you close. The kiss was delicate but passionate as he grips your hair slightly.

“If you’ll let me.”

[bronx-bomber87]

Good evening wonderful fandom! SO glad to have a new ep to do some quick thoughts on. I missed our babies. As stated few weeks back the gif library is a turd right after an ep. So quick hand made ones till summer. Off we go.

6x04 Training Day

Lucy saying she’s fine as she consistently does all her fidgety tells screaming she is anything but LOL Tim picking this up too love it. Smart man saying what he does about “being fine.” They cute with her saying 'Does he want her to be upset?' He's so good at making her laugh in this moments. Makes my heart happy. Till John appears.... Way to jump in on their moment Nolan. Of course the man makes it worse…She was laughing before you got there John…Tim's face when she takes off. Like if I could punch you Nolan...

Oh Lucy... Definitely hitting her hard she’s still a patrol officer. Tasks that didn't used to bother her as much are. Ugh my girl. This is rough. You are anything but fine my friend…Poor Lucy last thing she needs is more alone time with her thoughts at a scene that'll take forever to wrap up. Not only that but babysitting puke…I think our girl is headed toward quite spiral that has yet to happen. Tim is gonna do his best to keep her sane but I have a gut feeling we are headed there. I could be wrong but just how I'm feeling.

Lucy killing me softly watching Juarez and Nolan get recognized on Tv. Mmm I am loving Tim coming to pick her up yum yum. Lucy mentioning almost getting that call... Damn nothing going her way today. Or lately... Think her only sanity at this point is that man next to her. Tim of course is picking up on it immediately knowing her mood is linked to Primm. Knows his girl so well. Stating she was hoping could've proved him wrong with catching a call like that.

I love this scene. Lucy telling Tim about her crappy day and Tim giving her perspective. Saying she could be the big hero tomorrow. Not only that but making her smile as well. Look at him building her up like it’s second nature. Cause it is. Damn I love these two. Him basically leaning on her and bumping her shoulder with his telling her not to be too greedy hehe That Lucy smile of his loud and proud. Making her beam as well. She loves this man next to her so much.

Oh my lord this entire scene had my heart racing. What an absolute BAMF our girl is holy hell. Tim would've lost his mind seeing this. Hell I did. I screamed when she got hit and my dog ran from the room LOL The looks on Harper/Lopez's face when she went down oh my goodness. The absolute panic on their faces. Right there with you ladies. This was a huge risk she took to prove herself. One like I said Tim would’ve lost his mind at seeing.

Lucy was definitely being the big hero this entire scene oh my lord my heart was pounding. What a way to impress Harper and Lopez but give me a damn heart attack. That scene in the ally with the brother..... I was worried when he didn’t stop she was gonna have to shoot him. Giving me 5x19 flashbacks. I think she is going to CARRY this with her for a long time. Being an empath is no joke. Our girl one of the finest even at her own detriment.

I was hoping for some insanely worried Tim and they DELIVERED. Like that man couldn't breathe till he set eyes on his girl. Oh my damn lord. The way he ran to get to her. Man on a mission doesn’t even stop to check in with Grey. By-passes them completely. Only wants to get to Lucy. His hand on her head had me reeling everyone. It's the gentle way he caresses her hair I'm squeeing. Also his non stop touching.

Trying to ground her by letting her know he was there emotionally and physically. Rubbing his thumb up and down her her collar bone. The sweet squeezes. I'm a puddle.. The way this man has transformed because of her still blows my mind. The sweet comforting touches. I'm losing my mind. His adorable attempt at a joke telling her she didn’t have to take the hero suggestion literally. Ugh Lucy breaking my heart into million pieces. Saying she doesn’t feel like one.

Melissa you deserve all the awards madam I’m crying. Her little pre cry when he says they'll deal with it my damn heart. Killing me. I love how Tim's hands have not left her for 90 percent of this moment. Protective Tim was very much present in this scene with Wes. Grey was too being like dude let us take the win. Feral Tim having Wes back it off for tomorrow. Wade being the sweet man he is says that's ok. Lucy is going to be anxious about all this. I would be stressed about him succumbing to his injuries now that Wes said that. Read the room Evers lol

Gah Tim telling her let’s go home. Then we get another glorious hug where he encases her in his arms. Protecting her emotionally from this situation. Lucy burying herself in his embrace. Wrapping her arm around him tightly to ground herself again. She needed to fall apart in his arms before they left. THIS IS SOO GOOD. Annnnnnd another head kiss I’m dead I am writing these thoughts from the grave.

Oh my word this season has delivered in spades both friggin crap. I’m out of breath from this episode in the best way. Also whoever does the music needs a raise I say it time and time again. But that song was perfection against the backdrop of this final scene. Was telling D earlier I already need to change my header to it.

I love this hug SO much it's insane. Sure I'll write a novel on it this summer. Having everything that's going on plus this I think our girl is hurtling toward a breakdown of some sort. Some actual UC/detective feelings coming with it. Cause our girl is anything but fine. I'm so excited to see where we go from here S6 has every bit worth the wait. I cannot wait till next week

~~

Side notes -non Chenford

Yay Aaron progress in therapy. Back to active duty ha his heart rate going up for her too cute.

We finally get Nyla’s new hair style. Loving it

Adore the idea of Tim being one to take Aaron back out. Ain’t no one better.

Mmmh love hard ass TO Tim in metro uniform yummy. Does things to me. Aaron thinking he got this TRAIN but there is panic there.

‘Train is leaving the station officer Thorsen.’ Mmmm He does impress Tim for this first call. Yay Aaron haha

Giving Aaron only 9 minutes before bouncing him back to being a rookie oh my lord Timothy. I love you so much.

I do adore watching Tim watching Aaron do well. I’m sure there is a part of him that misses being a teacher. You can see it in these scenes. The pride and excitement he gets when Aaron is doing well. Aaron doing little fist pump and Tim shaking his head I’m dying.

Also How can Tim make leaning against a chair look so sexy? I want to be the chair he is leaning against in this scene with the wife LOL

Glad he passed Tim's TRAIN test. Glad they took their time getting him back out there. Was realistic

Feel free to comment any and all thoughts. I welcome them. See you all next week!

[wolfoftheblackflames]

Alright misfits, here's another fic to feed ya with ^^ Enjoy! (Pre-hotel this time.)

Dancing with the Devil: Pt. 1

It had been a year since she was found and patched up by the princess of hell as Vaggie groaned slightly with her empty eye socket aching. She sighed, popping a painkiller since Charlie had been kind enough to leave some in the guest room she stayed in. "Can't believe it's been a year already..." The grey skinned woman sighed as she looked out the window to the latest extermination massacre. "Better go see how Charlie is holding up..." Vaggie grimaced slightly since she had been one of those who slaughtered the sinners blow.

Vaggie finished up getting dressed as a twinge of self-hatred surfaced whenever she saw the empty socket and old scars on her back. She pushed those thoughts down deep since she knew Charlie was suffering more right now. "Baap!" One of the bodyguards that hung around Charlie was coming over to Vaggie, giving her a soft nuzzle.

"Hey Dazzle, how's Charlie doing?" The fallen angel replied lightly, ruffling his head.

"Baaap, Baaap!" Dazzle replied lightly, tugging on Vaggie's hand, ushering her to hurry over.

What greeted the two in Charlie's large room was the princess sniffling and curled up in blankets. "Huh?" Those ruby eyes lifted from the book she cradled in her hands. "Hey, are you doing ok?" Charlie shook her head at Vaggie's reply.

A soft sigh escaped Charlie's throat. Vaggie couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt seeing this. The first person who offered her kindness, her own best friend, was suffering. "What's also not helping is that, too." Charlie looked away, pointing her finger at an envelope on her nightstand.

"May I look?"

"Go ahead, it's kinda stupid anyway..."

Vaggie went over and sat beside Charlie, taking the envelope into her hand. She looked over at Charlie, who laid down on Vaggie's lap, curling up to the smaller woman. "Dear princess Charlotte Morningstar, you are here by invited to a grand Ball hosted by Seviathan Von Eldritch, we'd love to see you again. Signed Fredrick Von Eldritch." Vaggie finished reading.

"Bet he's gonna try and get me and my ex back together..." Charlie bitterly grumbled lightly, gripping the blanket.

There it was, another twinge. Sure, Charlie was a completely open book at this point, but something made Vaggie pissed at this guy. How dare he hurt her best friend, though Vaggie shook her head. She looked down at Charlie. It was obvious the princess liked her. She even blushed slightly when they first met.

"It says it's in three days from now.." Vaggie looked annoyed. "Maldito pedazo de mierda.." (fucking piece of shit) She muttered, thinking of this Seviathan guy.

"If I go it'll be just another shit show since they'll ask about my parents first..." Charlie nuzzled her nose deep into Vaggie's belly, enjoying the scent of lavender. "And before you say I should cancel, I can't exactly do that since I'm royalty and should be keeping up appearances.." She growled since most cared about her title and the weight it carried.

"What if I go with you?" Vaggie asked, making Charlie stare up at her. It looked so cute. Vaggie had to look away a little, rubbing her neck. All she heard next was the cutest squee and had arms thrown around her shoulders. "Whoa hey!"

"R-really?! You'd do that for me?!" Charlie beamed, looking slightly more chipper. It melted Vaggie's heart, seeing a smile return to that sweet hellborn's face. Though it began to beat a little faster when Charlie started to fidget and tuck some hair behind her ear, which were pointed and wiggling slightly. "I-Is it a date?" She shyly asked her ruby eyes looking innocent.

"Sure, besides, it said to bring a plus one." Vaggie replied awkwardly since Charlie was just being too cute. "So why don't you dress comfortable and nice... Okay?" She added as Charlie easily got up and started jumping for joy.

"Of course! Quick though, what color are you gonna be wearing, I figured we could match.." The princess blushed a bit with her hoof lightly kicking the carpet. God those hooves, they were just so cute too.

Vaggie, however, blinked. That twinge had turned into a fluttering effect inside her chest. "I thinking black, maybe?" She replied since she had no clue what to wear to a fancy ball. She was an ex exterminator for crying out loud, so fancy gatherings were new for her.

"I think you'll look amazing in black, not that you don't already look nice..." Charlie blushed and clamped her mouth shut to keep her awkward rambling from coming out. The princess, however, looked over at the window with a wince. "Sorry, I gotta go. I have to let people know it's over and go out to help the survivors."

"Hey, I'm coming with you, remember? Can't have some asshole trying to scam you and shit."

Charlie smiled softly at this remark, she giggled a bit and went to go change out of her red pj's. "Thanks Vaggie, you've already made my day a little more bearable you know?" She stated grabbing her usual outfit. "I mean it."

Vaggie watched her disappear into the bathroom. Once Charlie was out of sight, Vaggie couldn't help but sizzle slightly at the fact she was taking her best friend on a date. Sure, the two hung out for simple outings like a tour of hell, a cafe where they enjoyed their favorite snacks, a simple walk in the park, and purchasing the Hotel. But a fancy outing like this, it made Vaggie feel awkward and uncomfortable since she wasn't used to the fancy noble scene.

Vaggie blushed softly at the word date. She then shook her head as it actually hit her. "Ah mierda, estoy enamorado de esa hermosa mujer.." (Ah crap, I'm in love with that beautiful woman.)

(Hiya Wolf here, I hope you guys like the cute best friends being awkward before becoming a couple angle. I was reading the wiki on both too to gauge how I should go about it. So more to come ^^)

[klausysworld]

shy reader who masturbated to the hot thoughts of klaus and felt guilty but he comforted her through that like asked questions of how many times has she thought of it, does she think of his fingers in her etc and helps her have her first real life experience with him because that is every girls dream 🫣

You’re mine now

-Part 2

i was lead on my back, my head rested against my pillows, my legs bent at the knee and open as i slowly touched my clit, i let my fingers rub lightly through my wetness before doing faster little circles on top my button and a little mewl slipped passed my lips. I closed my eyes and my mind began to wonder

the thought of Klaus’s hands replacing my own had my fingers moving faster and one dipping inside of me making my back arch and my breathing to increase. i imagined the way his middle and index would curl into my spot and have me moaning his name, which i did despite his absence.

i chewed on my bottom lip as i brought my other hand down to give my clit proper attention while my finger inside me became two and i whimpered thinking of Klaus’s hot tongue flicking my sensitive little sphere.

it was then i heard a door slam and fast footsteps. i panicked and quickly made sure the duvet was covering me, my hands left my body and gripped the covers trying to make it seem like i had woken from a nap. My door swung open and he walked in

“you would not believe those bloody witches- oh are you sick sweetheart?” i could feel the blush crawling up my neck and i buried further into the quilt. i shook my head and curled into a tight ball hoping that he wouldn’t spot my clothes on the floor by his feet, my heartbeat was moving a million miles a minute as i desperately tried not to glance at the disregarded underwear. His brows furrowed as he looked to where i was avoiding, his expression instantly changed to surprised and then amused making me embarrassed and sink further into the mattress

“i see…having some alone time are we love?” i refused to look anywhere near him

“you know it’s odd because i thought i heard you say my name when i got back, thought you wanted to see me…did you say my name lovely?” my skin was on fire and i felt my eyes grow watery

“i’m sorry” i whispered hoarsely my knees now pressed against my chest in an attempt to feel more covered

“woa, hey, no no don’t you be sorry, y/n, love, i was kidding, everyone does this it’s okay, you want me to go?” i hesitantly glanced back at him go see he was crouched so he was eye level, i swallowed thickly when i felt my clit pulse of his scent so close. I unconsciously shifted a little closer to him so i could feel the warmth radiating off of him. His eyes darkened as he looked at the outline of my body under the blankets

“perhaps i should stay” he whispered and reached a hand out to touch my cheek

“s..stay?” i questioned growing even more nervous, he nodded and leaned even closer to kiss the corner of my mouth, i could feel his breath mix with mine as he studied my face

“can i see you?” he asked as his fingers ran down my face and got a grip on the duvet ready to pull it down

“just a little bit” i uttered becoming a darker shade of pink. My body automatically tensed when he pulled the covers down to my hips, my knees were still against my chest so he couldn’t see my breasts. He pouted a little and tapped my knee

“just a glimpse sweetheart” he mumbled and i slowly pulled my legs down so he could see me better, he let a little groan out and trailed his fingertips to my nipples and circled them. I rolled onto my back and was more centre bed, he kicked his shoes off and got onto the mattress with me, he licked both his thumbs and index fingers before using them to roll my peaking nipples, his eyes stayed on mine as i kept my mouth welded shut so i wouldn’t embarrass myself in-front of him, my brows were pulled together and i bit my cheek when one hand moved south, he slowly pulled the duvet off to the side and breathed in deeply when he saw my thighs squeezed together

“oh love, if anyone’s to be embarrassed it’s me for not ravishing you sooner” he then placed both hands on my thighs and gently pushed them open so i could still stop him if i wanted to

“look how beautiful you are…” he was whispering and his eyes were trained on my heat as he brought his hand closer and his thumb barely skimmed my bundle of nerves but it still had me arching my back a little, i was still sensitive from touching myself just before so the lightest touch still sparked something inside me

he reached out and grabbed my hands and pulled them in between my legs

“show me sweetheart” i could feel my face heating up again and my heart racing as i hesitantly dipped two of my fingers into my dampness and then circled my clit

“relax y/n, you’re tense” i nodded and tried to calm my body. i gradually build up my pace until i was moving much faster on my nub, i then used my other hand to have two fingers inside of me, i could just reach my favourite spot when i curled them and i moaned out as i continued to hit into the sensational point within me. My eyes were shut tight and i’d sorta forgotten Klaus was actually there as i felt the overpowering burn aching to be let go and my fingertips hit the right area once twice, three more times before i came around my own fingers and the ones on my clit eventually came to a stop.

I closed my legs and let my body lay limp for a moment before i felt the bed move and i remembered who i was with. I quickly opened my eyes and sat up

“that was definitely something to keep in my mind forever love but i must say i felt left out…you didn’t say my name again” he pouted and gave my throat a little kiss and a nip. He then lifted me slightly so he was sat with me between his legs, he was leaning back against the headboard and pulled my back to his chest. His hands moved down and opened my legs again, his thumbs caressed my inner thighs as he smelled my hair

“do you picture someone else’s fingers inside of you instead of your tiny ones?” he questioned slowly inching closer to where i needed him. I nodded and spread my legs as far i could

“please” i whimpered my hands squeezing the sheets beneath us in anticipation

“whose hands?”

“your hands!” i huffed and i felt his lips press a kiss into my neck as his fingertips moved my wetness around making sure i was still stimulated enough, he then brought his middle finger just above my puffy clit and dragged it side to side, i groaned a little and pushed back against him

“what do you imagine love?”

i thought about it for a moment before carefully grabbing his wrists, i got his fingers soaked before pressing his hand against my sensitive clit once again while his others stroked my entrance, i bit the inside of my cheek again as he gently pinched my button before rubbing rhythmically

“how many do you want inside?” he mumbled with his face now in my neck

“just one for now…they’re bigger than mine” i swallowed nervously, he nodded and began gently sucking my neck as a finger sunk into me, i gasped as he went knuckle deep and curled it perfectly on the first try. My hips ground against his hands as he pumped his middle finger in and out slowly, still playing with my most sensitive part. His index joined his other one inside me and i felt myself stretch a little around them, i whimpered the first few times he moved them together but once adjusted it just got better. My head was thrown back while he sucked harsher to create marks down my throat

“is this what you think of love?” i nodded weakly as the tension started building up

“words sweetheart, how often?” i tried to think but my mind was clouded with him. His scent. His warmth. His mouth. His voice. His hands.

“often” i moaned when he lightly slapped my clit as i took too long to answer

“once a week?” he hummed, his pace becoming faster and then direction he moved on my clit changed making my back arch as much as i could and my hands gripped his arms

“more than that” i choked and my legs began to shake as i held my orgasm in

“every day?” he whispered behind my ear before sucking the spot

“some..sometimes yeah” he let out a low rumble and added another finger making me cry out and dig my nails into his forearms, my walls squeezed his fingers as they continued to dive much deeper than i could ever reach, brushing so many spots inside me i didn’t know how to respond.

“so fucking pretty like this love, gonna cum on my hand love?” i tightened more than i ever had around him as the tension broke and i gushed over his fingers, i let out panted moans and my body continued to rock against him. He slowly pulled his fingers out and brought them to his lips and sucking off the remains of my orgasm, i watched with my pupils blown and my mouth propped open. He groaned at the taste and wiped his fingers on his shirt before grabbing my face and kissing me forcefully, his tongue was instantly inside and i swallowed around it as he dominated my mouth. I turned over my body so i was straddling him while he kissed me, my hands gripped his henley and i whined against his lips as he pulled away and breathed deeply

“you will never need to touch yourself again do you understand? you come to me” i moaned quietly at his words and relaxed in his hold

“what if you’re busy?” i mumbled snuggling into his body heat as he led down with me on-top him and the covers pulled back up over us

“i’ll stop being busy” he replied simply and stroked my hair

“you’re mine now” he whispered but i couldn’t reply as i felt my eyes droop and my mind shut off into sleep

[squirmhoney]

A/N:  The part 2 to the other request you guys wanted. This is dedicated to @ophelialaufey my biggest supporter on here at the moment x I haven’t edited very well so sorry for mistakes. Warnings: Yandere!Reader. Non con. Dub Con. Somnophilia. Oral (m receiving) Incest. Manipulation 18+ Pairing: Aegon Targaryen x Velaryon!(Strong) Reader Word count: 1.5k

Let Me Play With You - Part 2

Master List Part One

"Be a good boy for me, Uncle. Let me take care of you."

Aegon's eyes watered, biting harshly on his lip as he became lost for words. Every time a soft moan escaped your lips, a piece of Aegon's self control slipped away.

You giggled when you noticed Aegon's hand shift under his sheets, clearly fisting his cock. You lifted your body up, his fingers slipping out of your cunt with a pop. Your knees came either side of his face, chuckling at his wide eyes as you straddled his face.

"What are you doing?" Aegon questioned, looking up at your soaked cunt. His breath fanned along the folds, making you whimper at the feeling.

"I'm going to take care of you," you told him, leaning your chest on the bottom of his stomach as you peeled the sheets off of him. His cock was weeping, reddened at the tip and now oozing more precum then ever. Your tongue swirled around the tip, making him hiss at the feeling. "Look how your cock needs me."

"Fuck, please," Aegon pleaded, cock throbbing at this point for any attention. He had lost it and why should he care. He had wanted this for ages, practically spent every moment you were near him craving it. "Please, do something. Anything."

"Anything for my favourite Uncle," you replied, pushing all of his cock into your mouth. You relaxed your throat as you took him all the way down, hollowing out your cheeks as you sucked.

Aegon let out a high pitched moan at this, knowing he was drawing close to the end with the way you were going. Nothing had ever felt as good at this, not even all the whores in flea bottom could have brought him to a pleasure as good at this.

You released your mouth, taking a few deep breaths before shoving your mouth on him again. You sucked desperately, hand stroking the rest of the length that you couldn't get in.

The sight of your cunt was practically begging Aegon to touch it, your drenched folds hovering over his face. His hands reached up, grabbing a cheek each as he spread them wide. His tongue stuck out, placing a long stipe against your cunt as he finally got a taste.

Your moan vibrated around his cock, sending him over the edge as he came into your mouth. It was without warning, his load filling up your mouth as you continued to suck him dry. His head fell back, completely spent as he tried to come back to reality. Your mouth let go of him, swallowing everything that was in your mouth as you lifted your body off of him.

Dark violet eyes looked up at you, a tear escaped them as he tried to regain his breath. He could already feel his cock hardening at the sight of you, drool and his cum on your chin as you pouted down at him.

"Are you okay?" You asked, moving to straddle his lap. You leaned in to him, connecting your lips with his as your hand cupped his face. His tongue slid into your hot mouth, tasting himself on your lips still. "Was that too much for you?"

All Aegon could do was groan as you slid your cunt against him, soaking his cock with your juices. You started to grind yourself on his lap, kissing and nibbling up his throat.

"I'm so wet for you," you moaned, grinding your sensitive clit against him. Your hand reached between you, grabbing a hold of his cock as you fisted it. "Do you want me to put it in?"

He nodded eagerly, wet eyes pleading with you in desperation. "Please, no more teasing."

You placed his cock by your entrance, his fat head sliding in slightly. You watched his face as you pushed yourself down, seeing how he watched in awe at how your cunt ate his cock.

"Fuck, Y/N," he groaned when you finally squeezed him all in. Your virgins walls were tight, squeezing him for dear life. He could tell you were in pain as you winced, trying to hide it as you bit on the bottom of your lip. "Fuck, it's too much for you." He flipped you both over, hovering over you as he kept his cock buried in you. "Let me take care of you now."

Aegon was gentle, sliding in and out of you slowly so you could adjust to his size. He cupped your face, leaning his face to hover over yours as he gave you a reassuring kiss.

You mewled as the pain turned into pleasure, a hand gripping onto his arm for support. "Aegon, more please," you asked, needing him to go faster.

Without a second thought, Aegon started to pound into you, his hips thrusting into yours in a hard motion. Both of your loud moans filled the rooms, completely lost in each other as he filled your walls with his thick cock.

Aegon thought he was in heaven, your spongy walls coated his dick with your slick making it so much more pleasurable than any other woman he had slept with.

"Gods I don't want to ever stop doing this," you whimpered, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge. "Please can we do this forever."

"You'll have to leave eventually," Aegon said, lifting himself up slightly. Your tits were bouncing all over the place, making his mouth water. "We could get into a lot of trouble. You might not be able to marry without your Maidenhead."

You pouted with your bottom lip, looking up at him but you noticed he wasn't looking at your face. Aegon's eyes were staring at your tits, unable to focus on much else. Your hands played with your tits, fingers pinching at your nipples to get his reaction. "You like them, don't you." He nodded in response. "Touch them. They're soft and they'll feel nice in your hand."

A gasp escaped your mouth as he dove down, lips wrapping around your nipple. He sucked on your nipple, humming in delight as you moaned in his mouth. He moved over, giving the other one the same interaction.

"Oh fuck," you moaned, feeling yourself slip over the edge. Your nails dug into his skin as your walls clenched around him, coming undone like never before. Your orgasm was intense, better than any pleasure you had given yourself.

Aegon followed you. Your walls fluttered around him, making him cum without warning, spilling into your walls. He kept pounding into you, making sure to ride out both of your highs. When he was done, he collapsed on top of you, hoping he could saviour the moment for as long as possible.

"Can we do that again?" You asked, making Aegon look up at you. He could see the clear desperation in your eyes, the dazed out look as you fluttered your lashes up at him. "Please, uncle."

You clenched your walls around him, smiling mischievously as he hissed at the feeling. There really was no way that he could resist you, he had already taken you once what would it matter a few more times. He pushed into you harder, making you gasp and smile at him.

"You're my favourite uncle," you told him, hand cupping the side of his face. You connected your lips to his, slipping your tongue in his mouth as you kissed him.

Aegon pulled away, chuckling as he pressed his forehead against yours. "I guess one more time won't hurt."

"One more time." You nodded with a mischievous flint in your eyes.

"Yes, one more time."

-

That was a lie. You and Aegon went at it for hours until you both passed out, falling asleep in each others arms.

Rhaneyera had been informed by Ser Arryk about your location after clearly hearing the pair of you in Aegon's chambers. When she found you there she was horrified, waking the pair of you up as she tried to strangle Aegon.

"What have you done?" She screamed, launching herself at Aegon.

You put yourself in the way of her as Aegon crawled to the end of the bed. "Mother, stop," you squealed, holding your hand up. "I wanted this."

Her eyes widened, looking at you with horror.

"I made Aegon do it," you told her, biting down on your lip.

"Why?" She questioned, looking between the pair of you.

"Because you'll have to marry us now," you replied.

Rhaneyera shook her head, glaring daggers at you. You had begged her to betroth Aegon to you for years, she knew how badly you wanted it but she had told you she wanted better for you. She never knew you'd take it this far, she never knew you were capable of this.

"Fine," she huffed, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. She gave you a pointed look before storming out of the room. "I will see you down stairs once you have changed."

The door slammed behind her and you turned to Aegon practically throwing yourself on top of him.

Aegon's eyes were wide and eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked at you. "You planned this."

"Imagine being able to do this every day." You sat on top of him, hand sliding over his cock that was in between your legs. You leaned into his neck, peppering kisses on his skin. "Imagine waking up to my mouth wrapped around your cock every morning."

Aegon let out a shaky breath, feeling himself get hard with the thought of it.

"I'll let you do whatever you want to me," you told him, hands running along his stomach. "You can have me whenever you want. I'll just stay in this room so you can find me when you need me."

"Like my own fuck toy."

"If that's what you want."

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[mssonepiece]

Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

Fluff💖I got bored

Suggestive Themes

I love sleeping over Megumi's dorm. He keeps it so clean and it always smells so nice when I come over, though honestly it's probably like this all the time. I don't even think he notices but he cleans when he's in a bad mood.. which tends to be a lot. We've had some time to relax though and we spent the weekend laying in bed and watching movies to catch up with Yuji. Megumi says he doesn't care for it but I see how his eyes light up when Yuji or I agree with something he says about a movie we watched. Movies is one thing that me and Yuji have in common and is one thing that makes us friends lol. Megumi is a really laid back person so he doesn't mind just reading a book while I watch whatever I want cuddled up with him on the couch or bed. It's nice quality time for us so I don’t mind either.

Waking up this morning I still feel tired, I reach for my phone. 11:47 I guess I stayed up pretty late, I don't remember falling asleep honestly. My head is resting on Megumi's chest and my right leg is draped over his waist. He's still sleeping so I get some time to stare at his face without getting made fun of. I started off at his long eyelashes then down his nose. I can see how he breathes in and out slowly as his nostrils move with his breath, he looks so peaceful. His lips look so smooth and I feel the need to kiss him grow the longer my eyes linger on them. Eventually my thinking trails off to last night. I wish I hadn't fallen asleep when I did, things were just starting to get interesting. Replaying it in my head...

I remember how he got distracted from his book and put it down to pull my face to his for a kiss. He put so much force in to it that I could tell he wanted my attention for a while, leaving his hand on my face he keeps my face in place as his tongue slides in my mouth exploring what he can like he hasn't before. His other hand is already around my waist pulling me close to him. My hands are squeezing his shirt tighter each time he pulls me closer. I run my hands up to his shoulders then down to the hem, playing with it until he said something.

"Take it off." He whispers while smiling and quickly kisses me again. I grip his shirt and pull it off for him just like he asked smiling back at him. "You're so cute baby.." His voice is so sweet it makes me feel like I'm going to melt. It kills me when I hear him talk softly to other people, sometimes I wish he would only speak to me like that. I giggle at his words and kiss him again while rubbing my hands up and down his chest, I can't get enough. I had planned on catching up on all the hunger games movies, but I'm a little distracted now and this has got a better hold of my attention. Megumi's hands slip down a little further from where they were sitting on my waist to grab a handful of my ass. I smile into the kiss and he bites my lip, I open my eyes quickly at the pain and stop a giggle as I bite his lip back. He pecks my lips just when I pull away, the hand he had on my face is now gripping my hair and pulling my head back to his lips for a deeper kiss. I could kiss him forever. Megumis lips are so soft and he can always press his lips into mine just right to make them start tingling like they are right now. My nails slide down his chest the more he starting to turn me on and I'm worried I might hurt him though I never seem to. I genuinely think he loves when I leave marks on him anyway and that's a good thing because I love it too. I wish he would do it more to be honest.. next thing I remember is getting so tired from the kiss and pulling away with a whine. "What's wrong?" Megumi turns his head to get a better look at my face since I pulled away so suddenly after what he thought was a really enjoyable make out session. I frown as I try to think of a good way to answer. I trace my finger around in circles on his chest as he waits for an answer.

"I'm tired.." He sees my frown and smiles, squeezing my cheeks to try to make me laugh again. "Hey!" I grab his hand and we giggle together. "Can we go to sleep?" I lace my fingers with his.

"Yes." He smiles and pulls our hands higher up his chest. "Goodnight sweetie." He leans down to kiss me again, pulling away not too long after. I get comfortable on his chest and quickly fall asleep with him holding me so tightly.

“Right..” I say to myself as the memory of last night finishes playing in my head. Megumi is such a gentleman, I don’t think I could find another person like him if I tried and I don’t want to. We need to rest as much as we can before this attack from Kenjaku in Shibuya. I’m worried that something bad might happen to one of us and just want to enjoy as much time with Megumi as I can. I smile to myself when I see our hands are still connected from last night. In this moment I feel so warm. Maybe I prefer his dorm room because of his warm bed or maybe it’s just because he's in it. I close my eyes, trying to fall back asleep until Megumi decides to wake me up again later.

[jacenotjason]

ALL 'SECRET' VIDEOS IN THE OPPOSITE AU!

These aren't offical for anything! These are fake scripts for 'secret' videos found on the WH site, but for my AU!

FRANK AND EDDIE

[The scene is a mess of crafts paper, glitter glue, and stickers.]

[The audio opens with a loud, sudden ear-piercing scream from Frank.]

FRANK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!EDDIE: [throws the door open, huffing as though he ran there. His voice is uncharacteristically worried.] Frank!? What’s going on!? Why.. [his voice relaxes as he sees Frank, returning to montone. He sighs.] ..why are you on your crafts table? FRANK: That!! THAT!!! [Frank seems to be pointing at something.] EDDIE: … That? FRANK: YES YES!! GET IT AWAY!! EDDIE: ..the tiny little beetle right there? FRANK: MHM!! It flew into the window and tried to KILL ME!! EDDIE: … Alright, whatever- FRANK: NONONONONO!! EDDIE: What!? You said get rid of it! FRANK: DONT STEP ON IT!!

EDDIE: Well, what do you want me to do!? FRANK: just- get it out!!! EDDIE: mmh.. Alright, give me that. The construction paper. FRANK: give you what- wha- [Frank lifts his shoe as Eddie takes some paper he was standing on.]

EDDIE: [Eddie grunts as he crouches down, pushing the beetle onto the paper] C’mon, on the paper bud.. [Frank whines] EDDIE: [Eddie takes the beetle outside, flapping the paper] Go on.. Go go go… C’mon get off- [The buzzing sound of a beetle flying away] There it’s gone- huff! FRANK: [Frank jumps off the table and hugs Eddie suddenly, his squeaker making a little squee] You’re my herooo!! EDDIE: yeah, I- okay- sure, [Eddie clears his throat and pats Frank’s back.] You’re welcome.

FRANK: You saved my life! EDDIE: I just put a bug outside! They ain’t even that scary! FRANK: but-but those pinchers!! EDDIE: Its for grabbing things its size! Like– food! EDDIE: Ugh.. you’re not scared of them, are you Wally?

FRANK AND JULIE

FRANK: Well I think I'm plenty funny, Julie! Barnaby thinks I'm a hoot and a half!

JULIE: Only a hoot and a half? What happened to the other half? [Mean laugh]

FRANK: [frustrated hmph!]

JULIE: That’s not even an accomplishment. Barnaby wouldn’t know a good joke if it walked up to him, introduced itself, and slapped him in the face.

FRANK: [Said with a pout in his tone] yes he would! You know, Julie, you’re not the only funny one in this neighborhood!

JULIE: Oh yeah? You might be right, cloud head! Eddie’s a pretty funny guy too-

FRANK: Not Eddie! Me! I have a joke that will knock your boots off! I’ve been working on it all week!

JULIE: [‘tch’s] Oh good.. all week? It took you that long? [her voice is a little louder as she turns to Wally] You hearing this, creeper?

FRANK: I’ll tell you, listen to this one! [Clears throat] What did the number three say to the number two after beating him in a game of checkers?

JULIE: Oh my lord..

FRANK: I One!

JULIE: [Pretend grunt of pain] Oh my god! That was worse than listening to Howdy explain economics!!

FRANK: Oh it was not, Julie! It was a good joke! Don’t you get it? One is a number but it also sounds like won! You know, when you won a game!

JULIE: [Another gasp of anguish] Now he’s explaining it! Oh- When will the agony stop?! [the sound of Julie falling to her knees, the grass squishing beneath her] Feed me to my venus flytraps, I’m going into the light! Augh! [dramatic gasp as she flops onto her back]

FRANK: Oh Julie, you just don’t understand comedy that isn’t hurting others! It was a funny joke! Wasn’t it, Wally?

HOWDY AND BARNABY

[The scene is what appears to be Barnaby’s desk. Theres two books, a gramophone, and a delightful faint sound of old music] HOWDY: so.. you don’t charge anythin’ for your products!?

BARNABY: well.. they’re not products, Pillar, they’re just books! People return them, anyhow, why would I charge for something I’m going to get back?

HOWDY: [talking incredibly fast, spouting off his business nonsense] A quick fee! People come by all the time and check out books, 50 cents for each checkout! 50 cents for each book, someone comes by and checks out 3 books, boom, a dollar and a half for you and thats just one person! You can start a library card business, too! More like a subscription, free books! But they have to pay 10 bucks a month to keep the card!-

BARNABY: Pillar! [Barnaby cuts him off, but he continues]

HOWDY: [interrupting, continuing to spout] Would if a book gets damaged?

BARNABY: [gasping, as if Howdy talking fast exhausted him] Well, I-I don’t mind at all! I replace it on my own, sure it takes a bit to find and purchase to replace but-

HOWDY: [astonished, interrupting] It comes out of ya own pocket!?

BARNABY: well- yes! Accidents happen, Pillar, I wouldn’t charge for a simple mistake.

HOWDY: How much does a book cost to replace?

BARNABY: Well I dunno… aah, 40 dollars on average-

HOWDY: 40 whole dollars!? You’re killin’ me, Barn!

BARNABY: I’m sorry my business model is hurting you, Pillar, but that’s how I run things.

HOWDY: If I was in your place I would not run it this way.

BARNABY: You are in my place! [He chuckles, amused. He straightens himself and talks sweetly again] You run that charming bodega.

HOWDY: Well, yes, yes I do!

BARNABY: Quite well, might I add.

HOWDY: [still speaking in his astonished tone] Thank you!

BARNABY: You are welcome!

HOWDY: Yeah- I- what were we fightin’ about?

BARNABY: I don’t reckon we we’re fighting, Pillar.

HOWDY: I was sure we was! I was angry.

BARNABY: I wasn’t! I thought we were having a creative discussion about my business.

HOWDY AND JULIE

[The scene is a close up of Howdy’s products.]

[The bell above the door rings, and the sound of Julie’s heels can be heard as she walks inside.]

HOWDY: Julie! How are ya?

JULIE: Same as always. [Her heels continue as she approaches Howdy’s counter] I’m looking for something to make for dinner for me and Sally.

HOWDY: I was unaware she ate.

JULIE: You’re not funny.

HOWDY: Gotta make sure whatever it is is small enough to fit up her nose.

JULIE: [The sound of her heels walking away as she leaves to explore the aisles]

HOWDY: Oh come back! I got one more!

JULIE: [At a distance] Die!

[Some beats pass, Howdy taps on the counter lazily]

HOWDY: Okay, what are you looking for?

JULIE: Just something that smells good. I don’t want to force Sally to eat, I’m thinking about cooking it while shes on her computer, so she smells the food and comes to eat on her own accord-

HOWDY: So-

JULIE: Make a joke about her snorting it and I’ll tear your antenna off.

HOWDY: Damn, jeez…

JULIE: Hm.. [Julie speaks to herself as she takes items off the shelf] Ah, sweet, here we are.. I can make some fried rice.. Oo, Mackerel.. [She speaks to Howdy] Do you have any jarred Romesco?

HOWDY: Probably.

JULIE: Whatever, I’ll make it myself. [She grabs more items, followed by the sound of her heels walking to the counter]

HOWDY: Right, [beeping sounds as he rings her up] Total comes out to 176 dollars and 32 cents.

JULIE: [Groan] Here.

HOWDY: Thaank you.. Have a nice day.

JULIE: Uh huh. [Julie grabs her bags and leaves the store]

HOWDY: [Howdy hums and taps the counter.] ..Oh! Hey, didn’t see ya there. What do you need, Wally?

POPPY AND BARNABY

[The scene is a close up on a bookshelf, Wally’s hand is visible resting on the edge. The usual sound of delightful old music can be heard faintly]

POPPY: [Distant] Barn? Ya home?

BARNABY: Over here, dear!

POPPY: Ah, whatcha doing?

BARNABY: Oh, I was just in the middle of finding a book for him.

POPPY: Oh- didn’t seeya there. Well, I just thought I’d check on ya. Haven’t spoken to you in a good minute. [Poppy takes a seat. Barnaby joins her.]

BARNABY: I’m doing just fine. How are you?

POPPY: I’m good. Julie’s birthday is in a few weeks, I’m planning for that!

BARNABY: ..it’s not for another two months?

POPPY: Yeah, and Julie likes expensive wine.

BARNABY: Ahah!

[There’s a few beats of comfortable silence.]

POPPY: …You sure you doin’ okay?

BARNABY: Hm? Yes? Why do you ask?

POPPY: I’m just worried about you, that’s all. Y’know me.

BARNABY: I do.

[The comfortable silence melts away, a bit of tension filling the air.]

POPPY: Let’s talk about something else.

BARNABY: Let’s!

POPPY: Whatcha readin’ lately?

BARNABY: Lots of historical fiction, mostly.

POPPY: Ooh!

BARNABY: Are you reading anything?

POPPY: Aah.. eeeh…

BARNABY: Haha.. It’s alright. I know it’s not for everyone.

POPPY: Haha. I’m glad to see you’re doin’ alright, Barn.

BARNABY: Thanks for being concerned about me, Partridge.

POPPY: Of course. [Poppy stands.] Never be afraid to call me, Barn.

BARNABY: See you..

[A few bits of silence. Eventually, Barnaby takes in a breath]

BARNABY: Always nice when she visits! How are you doing Darling?

POPPY AND JULIE

[The scene is a table with a cake. The cake has “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE” in pink icing, as well as a glass of wine.]

JULIE: I’m so happy you’re letting me throw my birthday at your place again, Ma!

POPPY: Of course! Why wouldn’t I?

JULIE: Ahaha! Ma, you’re delightful. Seriously, what did we do to deserve such a delightful neighborhood mother?

POPPY: Ya don’t need to do anythin’! I’d do this for anyone. Anyway, let’s talk snacks!

JULIE: Let’s! [Julie is incredibly cheerfully and sing-songy]

POPPY: What ya thinkin?

JULIE: Ooh! [The sound of crumpling paper as she takes something out of her pocket] When I took that quick trip out to the cave, I managed to grab some of my moms old tapas recipes! [She hands the paper to Poppy] It would make me so happy if you could-

POPPY: recreate them?

JULIE: Yes!

POPPY: I’d be delighted! These sound delicious, too! Your mama made these?

JULIE: Mhm! My mom loved cooking, she cooked every chance she got! Any of our birthdays, the-day-after-your-birthday day, the-week-after-your-birthday day, its-a-celebrites-birthday day, fuck-it-I-just-wanna-cook-for-my-kids day.. Any reason!

POPPY: Sounds like she meant a lot to ya.

JULIE: Ah, she did.. She was so sweet. You would’ve loved her, Ma!

POPPY: If it ain’t a sore subject, can I ask how she passed?

JULIE: Natural causes.. She died peacefully in her sleep, and doing what she loved! She made us a delicious feast before she did.. My siblings and I have this joke.. We say she was supposed to die the night before, but asked the angels to give her just one more day to give her kids one last meal.

POPPY: That’s so sweet, Julie.

JULIE: [A small hum as she smiles]

POPPY: I’ll do my best to recreate your moms recpies.. And I’d be happy if you helped me!

JULIE: Oh- Ma! I’d love to!

POPPY: Sounds like a plan. Oh, hey, you wanna help too, Wally?

JULIE AND SALLY

[The scene the outside of Sally’s house. A close up on the chipped purple paint, and a window just barely in view at the top. All the voices are slightly distant]

JULIE: hup- hup!!

SALLY: Huh..?

JULIE: Hey! [Strained] Sorry! I wanted to surprise you, but it is hard to break into your house! Ugh! [A thump is heard as Julie falls inside]

SALLY: [Sally giggles] Are you okay?

JULIE: Perfect. [Julie stands up and poofs her skirt] Okay!

SALLY: What’s in the bag..?

JULIE: It’s a surprise! [She says sing-songy]

[There’s a few beats of tension, Sally’s breath tightening]

JULIE: [Julie rushes to speak again] ..It’s just some ingredients! I wanted to make you some dinner.

SALLY: Oh! …Can I see?

JULIE: Yeah! [Theres some heel clicks as she walks over to Sally, opening her bag and showing her the ingredients]

SALLY: What’s this..?

JULIE: Oh! That’s for me. It’s a Trinidad moruga pepper.

SALLY: What’s this…?

JULIE: Mackerel. You like fish, yeah?

SALLY: I.. think so.

JULIE: How about I cook up a quick sample right now and you can try it? 

SALLY: Oh, okay.

JULIE: Mhm! I’m sure you’ll love it.

SALLY: Hehe..

JULIE: Alright, let me go see if you’re oven still works and- Hey!! [Julie’s heels are heard as she approaches the window and looks outside] Get out of here creeper!!

SALLY: wh-whose there!?

JULIE: Don’t worry! It’s just Wally!

BARNABY AND SALLY

[The scene is a wooden floor.]

[Barnaby can be heard singing.]

BARNABY: Heartaches.. ~ Heartaches..~

BARNABY: My loving you, they're only heartaches~

BARNABY: Your kiss was such a - oh! [He’s interrupted by the phone ringing. He answers.] Good evening. Barns books!

SALLY: ..Hello..?

BARNABY: Hello? [Barnaby is just as confused] Whose this?

SALLY: M..mm…my girlfriend gave me your number..

BARNBAY: [An sound of realization and relief] Hello. You must be Starlet.

SALLY: ..yes..

BARNABY: It’s nice to meet you. My name is Barnaby. Julie has told me a lot about you! What do you need?

SALLY: I just.. I was… I think I’m sick.

BARNABY: Oh! What are your symptoms? [Barnaby pushes some things around his desk, finding a notepad. He clicks a pen.]

SALLY: I just uhm.. M..my heart is beating really fast.

BARNABY: Mhm.. [Barnaby writes it down]

SALLY: and.. I feel really warm..

BARNABY: Mhm.. [He writes it down]

SALLY: and I.. I.. Don’t want to sleep.. Or eat.. Anything..

BARNABY: … [Barnaby stops writing] ..I apologize if this is invasive, but Julie informed me you are an addict. 

SALLY: Oh..

BARNABY: Are you currently under the influence?

SALLY: ..why?

BARNABY: You just described very common symptoms of cocaine abuse.

SALLY: …

BARNABY: ..? Hello?

SALLY: Sorry.

BARNABY: No need to- oh. [Sally hangs up on him] Ah.. Well, she hung up.. I hope she calls back. [He hums in worry] Anywho.. Sorry for that.. Do you need anything, Darling?

EDDIE AND JULIE

[The scene almost looks like a spa. There is nail polish, makeup brushes, an ash tray, and bottle of wine.]

EDDIE: So, then he tells me that the money isn’t enough!

JULIE: [gasps in offense] It’s all you had!

EDDIE: It’s all I had, exactly!

JULIE: What did he want

EDDIE: You’re never gonna believe this.

JULIE: Mm?

EDDIE: He tells me.. He can sell my left arm.

JULIE: No!

EDDIE: Yes!!

JULIE: What the fuck!

EDDIE: Yeah!

JULIE: That’s when you jumped on him?

EDDIE: That’s when I jumped on him, yeah.

JULIE: Mm, absolutely deserved. 

EDDIE: Mhhhm..

JULIE: Want more wine?

EDDIE: Yesss..

[The wine bottle is taken out of sight]

JULIE: Here you aree..

EDDIE: Mm.. Thanks for inviting me to your girls night.. Even though-

JULIE: Girls night is for anyone, babe. Besides, I wanted to hear the story of you making Howdy your bitch again.

EDDIE: [A shocked laugh, the sound of him playfully hitting Julie] Jules!

JULIE: Ah! Haha! You ass I almost spilt my wine!!

EDDIE: Hah! [Eddie snort-laughs]

[They laugh together for awhile, before calming down]

JULIE: so… Why’d you bring him with you?

EDDIE: Huh? Him? Oh.. Frank couldn’t make it and he seemed like a nice substitute.

JULIE: Awwh.. Why couldn’t Frank make it?

[A pink cigarette comes into view and is flicked into the ashtray]

EDDIE: Some sorta lesson with Barn.. I don’t know.. Can I get a cig?

JULIE: Hm? You smoke Rose Butts?

EDDIE: I know, I know, it’s a [Eddie puts on a mocking tone] “Girl Cigeratte”..

JULIE: No, no, you do you, but I’m more surprised you smoke. Here..

EDDIE: God, in this neighborhood? Who doesn’t?

JULIE: Frank.

EDDIE: I- well- that’s fair

JULIE: Wally.

EDDIE: Okay. So the two innocent guys don’t smoke.

JULIE: Barnaby doesn’t smoke.

EDDIE: Okay, shut up.

[Julie giggles, Eddie chuckles with him]

EDDIE: Mm.. Anyways, you wanna do his makeup or something?

JULIE: Ooh! Yeah! Wanna get your makeup done, Wally?

FRANK AND HOWDY

[The scene is Howdy’s store, once again. This time its a view of an apple display.]

[The sound of Frank humming the tune of ‘There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe’]

FRANK: Howdy..

HOWDY: What is it, Nuvola?

FRANK: Do you think Eddie has feelings for mee..?

HOWDY: Hun, I don’t think Eddie has feelings.

FRANK: But- like- do you think he.. Like likes me?

HOWDY: He certainly cares about you more others. [Howdy walks away and begins shelving as he talks to Frank]

FRANK: I mean like.. Like.. if you think I asked him to hang out.. Like hang-out hang-out! He’d.. say yes?

HOWDY: Why are you asking me? Not only have I not been on a date in 12 years, [he sets something on the shelf] but Eddie also despises me, almost as much as I despise him.

FRANK: I know! But you know him super well and you spend a lot of time together! I figured he must’ve told you how he feels about me!

HOWDY: We spend a lot of time together, yeah, but we’re not being all buddy-buddy. He spends time in my store because he’s either blacked out drunk, or in the process of getting blacked out drunk. [He sets another item on the shelf] Or threatening me.

FRANK: Hmm.. [Frank pouts]

HOWDY: Eugh.. Listen, if you wanna know if Eddie likes you, why don’t you just march down to that Pot Office and ask!

FRANK: Because I’m nervousss!! [Frank whines]

HOWDY: You ain’t gonna know unless you ask! Just go down to that damn office, grab Eddie by his ugly face and say, ‘Hey! I like you! You wanna go on a date sometime?’ if he says no, move on! You probably doged a bullet! If he says yes, good for you!

FRANK: But I’m nervous!! [Frank reiterated, his voice cracking]

HOWDY: Then stay nervous! If you ask, you’ll know! If you don’t, you’ll be in a perpetual state of non-closure.

FRANK: [Frank whines again]

HOWDY: Just go! Go ask him!

FRANK: But would if- Hey!

HOWDY: [Howdy pushes him out] Go go! Just go ask him, stop bothering me!

FRANK: Okay okay! I’m going!

HOWDY: Good!

FRANK: Aah! [Frank runs out of the bodega and seemingly towards the Post Office]

HOWDY: Eugh.. Finally!! Damn cloud.. How do you deal with em, Wally?

EDDIE AND SALLY

[The scene is the gravel path, seemingly in front of Sally’s house]

[The sound of Eddie’s military-grade boots approaching]

EDDIE: Hm? Oh, hey bud.. ‘Scuse me..

[The sound of the mailslot opening]

EDDIE: Sally?

[Theres some shuffling inside of her house before Sally appears]

SALLY: hey.

EDDIE: There ya are.. Here, got this for you. Oh- [the sound of a paper bag being snatched]

SALLY: Thanks.

EDDIE: I uh.. I put a sandwich in there for ya.

SALLY: Oh-!

EDDIE: I know you like your noodles.. Thought it would be nice to have.. With the noodles, yknow?

SALLY: Thanks.

EDDIE: Course.. Uh.. Take of yourself, Sally..

SALLY: wait, wait,

EDDIE: hm?

SALLY: You.. Take care of yourself too!

EDDIE: Hah.. yeah, I will.

SALLY: I mean it! You always tell me to take care of yourself but I know you don’t.

EDDIE: …Yeah but I don’t care about me.

SALLY: I care about you.

EDDIE: ..yeah.

SALLY: Okay, you eat a sandwich today.

EDDIE: I will.

SALLY: and I’ll eat mine.

EDDIE: Okay.

SALLY: Okay.. Bye.

[The mailslot closes]

EDDIE: Seeya..

[Beats of silence, some sounds of Eddie kicking the dirt.]

EDDIE: Poor girl, right? [He says, speaking to someone else] ..Do you regularly sit outside her house, Wally?

POPPY AND SALLY

[The scene is some grass, Wally’s hand can be visible laying in it]

POPPY: Saallyy.. Sally? [Poppy’s voice approaches, a small squawk as she almost steps on Wally] Sorry, dear, didn’t see ya. Sally! Ya home?

SALLY: Hello..? [Sallys voice is distant and muffled]

POPPY: Hello!

SALLY: ..[Her voice is closer as she approaches the window. It’s still slightly muffled, as though shes behind a curtain] Whose that?

POPPY: I’m Poppy! You can call me Ma, sweetie. Julie tell ya about me?

SALLY: ..yeah, she has.. What do you want?

POPPY: I was comin’ to invite you to a party-

SALLY: No.

POPPY: Wha? I just figured it’d be nice! Get ya out of the house, meet new people-

SALLY: No thanks.

POPPY: You sure? You just wanna stay inside all day?

SALLY: All my life, actually.

POPPY: Ah.. I.. uhm.. Well. We’re gonna have snacks!

SALLY: Cool..

POPPY: Nachos and chips, and I’m gonna cook dinner for everyone and.. Eh..

SALLY: …Can you bring me some?

POPPY: Wha?

SALLY: I have.. A window in the back, that doesn’t have any glass or a screen or anything.. Can you bring me some food to that?

POPPY: Sure! I’d be down!

SALLY: Thanks… Ma..?

POPPY: Thas the spirit! Sorry I tried to make ya come outside.

SALLY: It’s okay.

POPPY: Well, I’ll see- eh.. Well.. I’ll talk to ya later!

SALLY: Bye. [There’s shuffling inside as Sally leaves]

POPPY: What a sweet girl. You know her, Walls?

POPPY AND EDDIE

[The scene is the floor of the post office. Letters are scattered about, along with pens, pencils, highlighters, and two vodka bottles]

POPPY: Eddie? [Poppy’s voice is overlaid with her claws against the floor] You here?

EDDIE: mmgnnm…

POPPY: Ah, there you are.. What ya doin’ under the table..?

EDDIE: Headache.. [he hiccups]

POPPY: ..so you got under the table

EDDIE: Yup..

POPPY: C’mere dear..

EDDIE: Nooo…

[Some struggle as Poppy attempts to help Eddie to his feet. Eddie sits on the table he was sitting under]

POPPY: You alright?

EDDIE: I’m.. peachy…

POPPY: You need’a throw up?

EDDIE: …no…

POPPY: Alright.. Well.. [Poppy sighs] Let’s see if I can get ya to bed. C’mere..

EDDIE: Nooo..

[Poppy helps Eddie away, theres some struggle and shuffling and Eddie complaining, but they make it eventually. There’s a small ‘pomf’ as Eddie lands on his couch]

POPPY: [her voice distant] There you are hun.. [her voice returns with her claws hitting the floor] Well.. I got em to bed.. Let’s just hope he stays there.. Let’s see if I can get this place cleaned up. Ya mind helpin, Wally?

BARNABY

BARNABY: Ah, then I told Pillar he needed to apologize to poor Dear! But he just went on and on about how he was the one that deserved an apology!

HOME: [Sounds of banging can be heard, sort of like agreeing]

BARNABY: I know! I told him that I couldn’t stay with him- i-in the room, I mean, unless he went and said he was sorry!

HOME: [Shutters creak]

BARNABY: Augh, I know, it’s such a heavy ask.. With how much they’re at each others throats! I don’t even understand what could’ve possibly caused such hatred!

HOME: [Lets out an inquisitive door squeak]

BARNABY: I agree. I think I need to sit down with them both and see what on Earth happened- eh

HOME: [Opens and closes its door judgmentally, cutting Barnaby off]

BARNABY: Wha- What do you mean it’s a bad idea?! I’ll keep them off each other, and-and I’ll make sure Dear leaves his pocket blade outside the library. And-

HOME: [Windows open and shut, a bit like laughter]

BARNABY: Wha!? Oh c’mon! Eddie can survive without his knife for one day! And PIllar won’t be allowed to bring that darned shotgun into the library either! He never has been! I’ve never allowed weapons or-or anything of the sort into the library! In fact, he knows all about it! Don’t you?

…Hello? Little one? Pal?

…Hey, y-you stopped painting..

…Everything alright, Darling?

[olderthannetfic]

Being autistic and having been around online fandom spaces for the last two decades, I can't help but notice that many things that today are"cringe and bad reasons we should bring back bullying (unless you're autistic)" used to be considered immature and girly and signifiers of fangirls specifically.

I got some good news recently, and my reaction, as a 35 year old autistic man, was to jump out of my chair, flap my hands, and say "SQUEEEE", same as any 16 year old who just saw some great fanart of Legolas in 2006.

The reason for this, of course, is that fandom has a lot of autistics, and autistic fans helped create a social scene where saying "squee" out loud is a normal thing to do.

But it's interesting to me to see how things I have always done used to be seen as childish and feminine (and therefore a reason to mock someone), and now are seen as a gender and age neutral reason to mock someone (with an incoherent little disclaimer tacked on about how they're making fun of autistic traits in a not-actually-ableist way, because autism and disability awareness had some a long way in the last few decades).

My conclusion is that SQUEEEE reactions are good and fun, that caring "too much" about fandom isn't a bad thing and shouldn't be gendered or infantilised, that making fun of people for being excited about their favourite stories is mean, and that being autistic shouldn't be a pre-requisite

You have my permission, no matter your age, gender, diagnosis, or lack thereof, to run around the room and make high pitched noises when you're delighted. Be cringe, be free, let your inner autistic Legolas fan out, and just enjoy things.

--

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Special Interest 5

Warnings: non/dubcon, age gap, creep behaviour, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Cole Turner, short!reader

Part of the Bookstore AU

Note: this one is a bit longer than I anticipated!

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

“Hmm, I don’t know Camila,” Cole picks out the washer, “I don’t think this will fix the problem. Sounds like a different issue than the pipe.”

“Yes, well, my husband said to get this,” she ho-hums, “thanks so much for helping me find this.”

“No problem,” He grins, his baby blue eyes deceivingly bright, “I know this place pretty well. We order most things in bulk but you can’t wait weeks when it’s an emergency. Especially with farmwork.”

“Oh my, you are so responsible. It’s just you and your parents on the farm?” She flutters her lashes. Maybe your dad should be concerned.

You stand off to the side, staring down toilet seats as they chatter. Neither of them have stopped and you’re not bothered fading into the background. Hell, you prefer they forget you entirely. You look down at the cactus in your hand, you could just sneak off with this new prickly friend.

“Yeah. Sister comes to visit but someone needed to stay behind. There’s too much work for just my dad and we never recovered fully from the recession. Can’t really afford a hand.” Cole explains.

“Aw, oh, how dreadful,” your mother gestures like a melancholy Victorian widow. “I’m sure your parents appreciate how helpful you are…”

You don’t miss her eyes as they stray in your direction. You give a scowl, you’re helpful. You take the garbage out and do the dishes. Hell, you’re the only reason the toaster works again.

“Yeah well, I know when I was younger, they probably didn’t feel the same. You know, you just gotta get perspective and learn what’s important.”

Okay, this is ridiculous. They are drinking the same flavorade and you’re more of a cream soda girl. You peer around evasively.

“Well, mom, you got the washer thingy, we should get going. Dad’ll be waiting,” you say.

“I suppose you’re right. Oh, and we still have to hit Eddie’s for dinner,” she recalls, “hm, what a long day it’s been.”

“Eddie's? Oh, I know that place. Owner’s a buddy of mine. I could probably get you a deal.”

“We’re good,” you insist as you step forward, “we got our cactus and our thingamajig. We can pay for dinner.”

“Honey, he’s just being nice,” your mother reproaches, “it is so sweet of you, Cole, but it would be a bit much.”

“You know, that’s a good idea. I should head down that way too,” Cole swiftly diverts her denial, “mom and dad love a good kebab. I always try to bring ‘em something when I come to town.”

“Oh, my heart,” your mother squees, “you are such a good son.”

You clear your throat. Your mother gives you a look. Cole glances over, his head tilted victoriously. He’s effectively making you look like a real bum and you just made a couple hundred.

“Look, I can tell you two are in a hurry,” he shifts suddenly, reaching under his jacket, “I’ll give you my card. I’m down at the market three times a week. If you need any tips about the cactus or maybe looking for a buddy for it, you can always call.”

“Wow, thank you, Cole,” your mom accepts with a fawning gaze, “oh, honey, you hold onto this,” she waves the card in your direction, “I’ll just lose it.”

You reluctantly step closer and take the card. More like rip it up. You pinch it between your knuckles and retreat. Again, Cole peeks over at you.

“I gotta go grab that sod,” he leans back on his heel, “see ya around… I hope.”

“You too, sweetie,” your mom preens.

He backs up, his eyes flitting between you and your mom. He gives you a smile and slowly turns on his heel. He struts away with a bit of a hop, almost as if he’s nervous. You scoff and shake your head. What a show.

“He is so nice!” Your mother announces shrilly, “oh my, and so handsome. And tall and dreamy. His eyes, god those eyes.”

“Mom, you’re married. You know, to dad?” You roll your eyes.

“Oh, hush, I saw you looking at him and he was looking at you,” she fans herself, “you would make the cutest babies.”

“God, ew, another word and you're getting the cactus,” you warn.

“What? You too would be adorable and I can tell, he’s single. He didn’t mention a wife or anything. And a farm? You’d be set for life, and your kids could run all around–”

“He’s a stranger and you’re talking about babies,” you sneer, “please, before I throw up.”

“That whole hard to get thing, it doesn’t work, honey,” she chides.

“I’m not– I don’t want him to get me. I’d prefer I never see him again. Ever. Forever.”

She giggles, “don’t be so dramatic. What did he do to you? He was perfectly sweet. Good manners. Good posture…”

“Really mom, should I be concerned for your marriage,” you snort.

“If only. I think I’m a bit too old for him,” she mourns with a swoon.

“If we don’t get something to eat soon, I’m going to lose my appetite,” you stick your tongue out.

“You are a brat. I’m your mother, you know?” You set off down the aisle next to her as she finally abandons the plumbing shelf. “Why can’t you be like Cole. Such a good boy.”

“Oh my god! Mom, you don’t know him. How do you even know he told the truth? What if there is no farm?”

“You don’t know him either, do you? So maybe, before you assume the worst, you should give him a chance.”

“A chance?” You puff out, “never. He’s an order number, nothing else. And old.”

Your mom tisks and turns towards checkout. You avoid looking at her as her disappointment radiates off her. She wiggles the washer in her hand.

“Where’s that card, I’ll put it in my purse.”

“Ugh, take it,” you flick it at her, “I was just gonna dump it in the trash.”

“Why, with how prickly you are, we shouldn’t need any more cactuses,” she chides.