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ms-demeanor · 2 days

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On insurance: I still live with my parents and don't know a lot yet about the sorts of things adults usually have to spend money on. I've always been skeptical of things like insurance and credit cards because it seems to me they wouldn't be selling that if they didn't expect to make money from it. I talked to my cousin a while ago about credit cards and basically came to the conclusion that they do that because they're betting on the customer getting sloppy and letting their debts stack up, and the way you beat that and get money from credit card companies is just by being careful.

I'm a little more confused about insurance though because it seems much more straightforwardly like a gamble they will simply not take if it won't pay off for them. Like, you don't go to a casino because every game they play at a casino is one they've done the math on and have determined that statistically most people will lose money on most of the time. Is insurance not kinda the same? Where they estimate the risk and then charge you an amount calculated to make sure it probably won't be worth it for you?

I know if you have a car you legally need car insurance so everyone knows you can pay for another car if you crash into someone, and I gather that here in the US at least health insurance companies have some kinda deal with hospitals so that the prices go down or something, and there's a reason I don't fully understand why not having health insurance is Really Bad. But we get to pet insurance, or like when I buy a concert ticket and it offers ticket insurance in case I can't make it to the show, and surely if they thought they were gonna lose money on that they just wouldn't sell it, right? Or they'd raise the price of it until it became worth the risk that something bad actually will happen? Wouldn't it only be worth it to buy insurance if you know something the insurance company doesn't?

So the deal is that most people don't use their insurance much, and often insurance companies will incentivize doing things that will make you use your insurance less.

So, for example, you can get a discount on car insurance if you have multiple cars because people who insure multiple cars are more likely to be responsible drivers (the ability to pay for multiple cars stands in as a representation of responsibility here). The longer you go without an accident, the lower your premiums get because that means that you are not costing your insurance company anything but you are paying into the system. The car insurance company's goal is to have the most responsible, safest drivers who never get into car accidents because they can predict (roughly) how much they're going to have to pay out to their customers and they want the number they pay out to be lower than what's paid in. So they try to discourage irresponsible drivers by raising their rates and encourage responsible drivers by giving them discounts.

Health insurance companies often do the same thing: I recently got a gift card from my health insurance company because I had a visit from a nurse who interviewed me about my overall health and made sure I had stable blood pressure and access to medications. It is literally cheaper for my insurance company to give me a $100 giftcard and hire a nurse to visit me than it is for me to go to my doctor's office a couple of times, so they try to make sure that their customers are getting preventative care and are seeing inexpensive medical professionals regularly so that they don't have to suddenly see very expensive professionals after a long time without care.

Insurance in the US has many, many, many problems and should be replaced with socialized healthcare for a huge number of reasons but right now, because it is an insurance-based system, you need to have insurance.

We're going to use Large Bastard as an example.

Large Bastard had insurance when he had his heart attack and when he needed multiple organs transplanted. He didn't *want* to be paying for insurance, because he thought he was healthy enough to get by, but I insisted. His premium is four hundred dollars a month, and his out of pocket maximum is eight thousand dollars a year. That means that every year, he pays about $5000 whether he uses his insurance or not, and if he DOES need to use the insurance, he pays the first $8k worth of care, so every year his insurance has the possibility of costing him thirteen thousand dollars.

The bill for his bypass surgery was a quarter million dollars.

The bill for his transplant was over one and a half million dollars.

His medication each month is around six hundred dollars. He needs to have multiple biopsies - which are surgeries - each year, and each one costs about twenty thousand dollars.

Without health insurance, he would very likely be dead, or we would be *even more* incapable of paying for his healthcare than we are right now. He almost ditched his insurance because he was a healthy-seeming 40-year-old and he didn't think he'd get sick. And then he proceeded to be the sickest human being I've ever known personally who did not actually die.

Health insurance costs a lot of money. It costs less money for people who are young and who are expected to be healthy. But the thing is, everybody pays into health insurance, and very, very few people end up using as much money for their medical expenses as Large Bastard did. There are a few thousand transplants in the US ever year, but there are hundreds of millions of people paying for insurance.

This ends up balancing out (sort of) so that people who pay for insurance get a much lower cost on care if they need it, hospitals get paid for the care they provide, and the insurance company makes enough money to continue to exist. Part of the reason that people don't like this scheme is because "insurance company" could feasibly be replaced by "government" and it would cost less and provide a better standard of care, but again, with things as they are now, you need to have insurance. Insurance companies are large entities that are able to negotiate down costs with the providers they work with, you are not. If you get hit by a car you may be able to get your medical bills significantly reduced through a number of means, but you're very unlikely to get your bills lower than the cost of insurance and a copay.

Because of the Affordable Care Act, which is flawed but which did a LOT of good, medical insurance companies cannot refuse to treat you because of preexisting conditions and also cannot jack up your premiums to intolerable rates - since Large Bastard got sick, he has had the standard price increases you'd expect from aging, but nothing like the gouging you might expect from an insurance company deciding you're not worth it.

Pet insurance works on the same model. Millions of people pay for the insurance, thousands of people end up needing it, a few hundred end up needing a LOT of it, and the insurance companies are able to make more money than they hand out, so they continue to exist. This is part of why it's less expensive to get pet insurance for younger animals - people who sign up puppies and kittens are likely to be paying for a very long time and are likely to provide a lot of preventative care for their animals, so they're a good bet for the insurer. Animals signed up when they are older are more likely to have health problems (and pet insurance CAN turn animals away for preexisting conditions) and are going to cost the insurance companies more, so they cost more to enroll (and animals over a certain age or with certain conditions may be denied entirely).

This weighing risk/reward is called actuarial science, and the insurance industry is built on it.

But yeah it's kind of betting. The insurance company says "I'll insure ten thousand dogs and I'm going to bet that only a hundred of them will need surgery at some point in the next year" and if they're correct, they make money and the dogs who need surgery get their surgery paid for out of the premiums from the nine thousand nine hundred dogs who didn't need surgery.

Your assessment of credit is correct: credit card companies expect that you will end up carrying a balance, and that balance will accrue interest, and the interest is how they make the money.

And it is EASY to fuck up financially as an adult. REALLY EASY. But you are still likely to need a good credit score so you will need a credit history. That means that the correct way to use a credit card is to have a card, but not carry a balance.

To do this, never buy anything on the card that you can't afford. In order to avoid needing the card for emergencies, start an emergency fund that is at least 3 months of your total pay *before* you get a credit card. That seems like a *lot* of savings to have, but from the perspective of someone who has had plenty of mess-ups, it's a lot easier to build up a $10k emergency fund than it is to pay off a $10k credit card debt.

If you don't understand how interest works on credit cards, or why a 10k savings is different than a 10k debt, here are some examples working with $10k of debt, 23% interest (an average-ish rate for people with average credit), and various payments.

With that debt and that interest, here's how much it costs and how long it would take to pay off with $200 as the monthly payment:

Fourteen years, and it would cost you about twenty four thousand dollars in interest, for a total amount paid of about thirty four thousand dollars.

To save $10k at $200 a month would take four years and two months.

Here's the same debt at $300 a month:

4.5 Years and it costs about six grand (again, just in interest - sixteen thousand dollars total). Saving ten thousand dollars at three hundred dollars a month would take just under three years.

Here's the same debt at $400 a month:

3 years, about $4000 dollars (fourteen thousand dollars total). Saving ten thousand dollars at $400 a month takes just over two years.

The thing is, with all of these models you're going to end up paying one way or another. Insurance vs out of pocket is you weighing the risk of losing a fair amount of money by signing up but not using the system, or potentially losing a catastrophic amount of money by not signing up.

For credit cards they really only work if you know you're never going to need them for an emergency, because an emergency is what you're not going to be able to pay off right away. I didn't have an emergency fund when Large Bastard had his heart attack and needed surgery, or when we moved between states suddenly, or when we moved between states suddenly AGAIN and needed to pay storage costs, or when Large Bastard needed a transplant, or when Tiny Bastard got in a fight with my MiL's dog, and the fact that I didn't have an emergency fund is still costing me a lot of money.

So, young folks out there: what's the takeaway?

Get insurance. Get the best deal possible, which usually ends up being the one you sign up for early. You may think you can let it ride without insurance, but man in the six months between when I graduate college (and lost my school insurance) and when care kicked in after 90 days at my job I got electrocuted and needed to go to the ER. If that hadn't been a worker's comp payout I would have had thousands of dollars in bills. Something could happen. You could break your leg, you could get hit by a car, you could suddenly find out that you actually have heart disease at twenty, you could develop cancer. Have insurance, you need insurance. You legally need car insurance in the US, and you financially need health insurance. If you have a pet, I think it's a good idea for them to have pet insurance.

Credit cards are not for emergencies, they are not for fun, they are not for buying things that are just ever so slightly out of your budget, they are for taking advantage of the credit card company and managing to get by in a system that demands you have a credit score. ONLY put purchases on your credit card that you already have cash for. Before you get a credit card, build up an emergency savings so that you aren't tempted to put emergency charges on your card.

If you DO end up with an interest-bearing debt, pay it off as fast as possible because letting it linger costs you a LOT of money in the long run.

Stay the fuck away from tobacco and nicotine products they are fucking terrible for you, they are fucking expensive, and they are not worth it put the vapes down put the zyns down put the cigarettes down I will begin manifesting in your house physically i swear to fuck. Knock that shit off and put the cash that you'd be spending on nicotine into a savings account.

Take care, sorry everything sucks, I promise that in some ways it actually sucks less than it did before and we're working on trying to make it suck even less but it's taking a while.

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br0kenangel · 2 days

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┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤ ♡ㅤㅤㅤ ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ┊ㅤ┊ㅤㅤㅤㅤ♡ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ♡ㅤㅤㅤ ┊ㅤ♡ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ♡ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

𝑌𝐴𝑁𝐷𝐸𝑅𝐸 𝐵𝑈𝐿𝐿𝑌 who's obsessed with your pussy ⁺¹⁸

Yandere bully who is so mean to you in public, constantly teasing and making you cry, taunting you in front of everyone, pushing your buttons just to see you break. "What's wrong, baby? Gonna cry again?" He grins, acting like the bitch he's known to be. But in private, he's on his knees, your obedient pet, begging to please you however you want.

Yandere bully who's addicted to you, desperate for your approval. He'll do anything to have you, anything to make you cum, anything to feel like he's worthy of your attention -even if it means pushing you to the brink of pleasure every chance he gets.

Yandere bully who gets you alone any chance he gets and makes you cum over and over again, his cruel exterior gone as he worships you with his mouth and hands. "You're so fucking beautiful when you cum for me. 'Il do anything for you, baby." His fingers don't stop, even when you're shaking, his lips constantly moving over your sensitive skin, drawing out orgasm after orgasm until you can't take it anymore.

Yandere bully who loves catching you off guard when you're trying to study, slipping under the table and spreading your legs without a word. His fingers slip inside you while his tongue circles your clit, licking and sucking on it like he can't get enough. You try to concentrate, but it's impossible, and he knows it. "Come on, baby, keep studying while I make you feel good." He smirks against you, watching you fall apart as he fingers you under the desk.

Yandere bully who loves to suck on his lollipop in front of you, popping it in and out of his mouth with a teasing grin, only to push it inside your pussy without warning. "How's that feel, baby? Bet you never thought this sweet thing could fuck you, huh?" He moves it in and out, his eyes locked on your expression as he watches you struggle. And when he's done, he pulls it out, licks it clean, and goes right back to sucking on it like nothing happened, savoring your taste mixed with the candy.

Yandere bully who acts like he's in control, always smug and cruel with the things he says, but the moment you're soaking wet and he's got his mouth on you, it's like he's a different person. "Fuck, I can't get enough of this. You taste so good, baby... I need more, please."

Yandere bully who moans like he's the one getting head whenever he's between your legs, his voice breaking as he eat you out. He can't help the sounds slipping out of his mouth, so lost in the taste of you that he's grinding himself against the mattress. "Fuck, baby... you taste so fucking good. I'm gonna lose it.." The pleasure in his voice is unreal, like he's the one being pleasured.

Yandere bully who gets absolutely lost between your legs, so pussy-drunk he forgets everything else around him. His mouth is buried between your thighs, licking and kissing like he's been deprived of it for days. He's groaning into you, the wet sounds echoing as he slurps up everything you give him, completely obsessed.

Yandere bully who talks directly to your pussy like it's a person, his voice low and ragged, whispering how good it is, how perfect it feels for him. "Fuck, baby, you're so fucking sweet.. So good for me. God, I'm never letting you go." He kisses it like it's his lips, muttering praises to it while his tongue laps you up.

Yandere bully who gets so messy and sloppy, his face drenched with your slick, but he doesn't care. The more you give him, the more he wants, making filthy, lewd noises as he fuck you with his tongue. "Shit... I can't get enough. I need more, more of you." He's never satisfied, his fingers spreading you open just so he can see how you pulse for him.

Yandere bully who doesn't just lick, he makes love to your pussy with his mouth, slow at first, dragging his tongue in long strokes like he's savoring every taste. Then he's frantic, desperate, his lips locking around your clit, sucking so hard you can't hold back your moans, and he loves it. "Fuck, baby, you're so wet for me. Keep making those sounds, I'm fucking addicted to this."

Yandere bully who can't keep his hands off, always pinching and smacking your pussy between sloppy licks, just to watch it bounce and twitch under his touch. "God, I love seeing you like this, so swollen and needy for me." He'd smack it again, the sound so lewd it makes you blush.

Yandere bully who loves to spits on your pussy, his eyes dark with lust as he watches his saliva drip onto you before diving in with his tongue. "Look at this, baby. So fucking messy for me, just how I like it." He grins, dragging his tongue through the wetness and your slick, slurping noisily like he's savoring every second of it.

Yandere bully who bites your pussy just to see your reaction, his teeth grazing over your swollen lips, nipping at your sensitive skin. "Come on, baby, don't squirm. You know you love it when I get a little rough with you." His voice is low, teasing, as he watches your body jerk at the sensation. He alternates between soft kisses and sharp bites, pushing your limits.

Yandere bully who buries his face deeper, tongue pushing into you as far as it can go while his nose grinds against your clit. He groans with each taste, like he's drowning in pleasure just from having you on his lips. "You're so fucking perfect. I could eat this forever:" His words are so slurred and desperate, like he's too far gone to think straight anymore.

Yandere bully who tells you he loves you for the first time when you squirt into his mouth, the taste driving him so insane that the confession slips out before he can stop it. "Fuck... I love you. I fucking love you." His voice is hoarse, and he's groaning like he's the one cumming, licking up every drop you give him as his face gets soaked in your release. He's a mess, panting, eyes wide as the reality of what he just said settles in, but he doesn't take it back.

Yandere bully who gets so overwhelmed eating you out that he cums in his pants without even touching himself, his body shaking with how much he's lost in it. He's a mess, his cock twitching in his soaked boxers while he keeps his mouth on you. "Oh god.. fuck.. I'm cumming... I can't- shit-"And even after he cums, he still doesn't stop, licking up every drop of you like it's his lifeline.

Yandere bully who grinds himself against the bed, getting off just by eating you out, humping the mattress as he moans into you, obsessed with how you taste and feel. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum just like this... you're too fucking good. I can't take it..."

Yandere bully who stays between your legs even after you're spent, lazily licking and kissing, his breath hot against your sensitive skin. "l'm not done... Stay still..." His voice is low, almost hoarse, as he presses one last kiss against your pussy, so utterly drunk on it that he can't stop himself.

Yandere bully who takes so many pictures of your pussy that his phone is filled with them. He's got one as his lock screen, grinning every time he unlocks his phone and sees it there. "God, you're so fucking pretty. I can't get enough." He pulls out his phone to take even more photos when you're spread out for him, snapping pictures while muttering to himself about how perfect you look. He's gross, but he doesn't care-he's obsessed with having every part of you to himself.

Yandere bully who wants to shave you himself, his hands steady as he moves the razor over your skin, but it always ends the same way-with him making you cum so hard that your pussy is swollen and puffy by the time he's done. "You look so cute like this... all swollen for me." His fingers trace over your sensitive skin, teasing you even more, knowing you're already overstimulated. He never stops until you've cum over and over again, leaving you a trembling, swollen mess.

Yandere bully who isn't satisfied until he's made you cum more times than you can count, watching you shake and scream, completely addicted to the way your body reacts. "Look at you.. all mine. No one else gets to touch you like this. Only me." He's possessive, obsessed, and so pussy-drunk that he's practically begging for more, even when you can't take it anymore.

Yandere bully who cries when you cum on his tongue, so overwhelmed by how sweet you taste that tears well up in his eyes. He's moaning and sobbing, his face soaked with a mixture of your wetness and his tears. "You're so fucking sweet.. so perfect... fuck, I can't take it..."He presses his face deeper into you, tongue flicking desperately, crying with how much he loves the way you feel.

Yandere bully who steals your dirty panties every chance he gets, slipping them into his pocket when you're not looking. He hides them away just so he can sniff and lick them later, getting off to your scent like a total pervert. "God, you smell so fucking good.. I can't stop thinking about İt." He presses the fabric to his nose, groaning as he grinds against the bed, cumming hard while licking your panties, completely high.

Yandere bully who can be the meanest, most disgusting version of himself, using your body for his pleasure, but you can feel the way he's addicted to you, how much he needs to please you. It's a twisted game between love and hate-he's cruel, mean, but the moment he's got his hands on you, he can't stop himself from worshipping you in the most filthy, desperate ways possible.

@ 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔.

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vivwritesfics · 3 days

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Hi! I saw that you said requests were open and I have an fic idea

Basically Max Verstappen × Singer!reader, and reader writes some new songs and invites him to spend time in the studio with her on winter break. And while she's recording a song, he realizes it's about his childhood, and she makes sure he's okay with the lyrics before she records it? Leads to a lot of fluff and angst.

(This may or may not be heavily influenced by Billie Eilish's song "Blue" )

Have a great day🥰

this is the shortest of short blurbs bc idk the song and billie eilish (i almost spelt it eyelash jeez man lmao) isn't my thing. just trust me on this one

Warnings: talks of abuse (no details) and trauma (no details)

Max loved joining her in the studio. He loved sitting there, watching her do her thing. The deal was that he couldn't listen as she was recording (that was fine with Max. He loved watching what she did, loved the dancing she couldn't stop herself from doing as she sang).

Her older music played softly while she streamed. He was the most supportive boyfriend she'd ever had, and she was the same to him. Where he played her music wherever he could to show his support, she wore her 33 necklace at all times (the 1 charm was added when he won his first championship).

There wasn't much Max knew about this album, just that it was called Maxie. Maxie. It was going to make him look sappy as shit when the world found out about it, but he didn't care.

Just like the rest of the world, Max was waiting for the album to drop. He didn't know he was going to be the first to listen to it.

He certainly didn't picture this. Her sitting on his lap as the first song in the new album played. It was a soft, slow, melodic song. Max listened to the lyrics, telling the story of how they first met.

The songs were about them, about him. About how much she loved him, about his career. Two hundred miles per hour, ready to make my heart shatter. Her fear around his career, wrapped around lyrics about how proud she was.

max. He wasn't ready for the song called max. The song about his childhood, a story told from the point of view of someone on the outside looking in. It's too late to save him, but she's there to pick up the pieces, to help him through the trauma. Trauma not realised until later.

"I wasn't sure about keeping that one on the album," she confessed as she looked at his face, looked at the tears gathering in his eyes. "I don't have to if you don't want me to."

Max pulled her closer. "I love you," he whispered and kissed her.

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why-animals-do-the-thing · 2 days

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Sorry if you've already covered this, but I was scrolling socials and saw that the San Antonio zoo got a large donation to expand their savanna habitat. The only thing that jarred me as I read through their expansion plans was apparently they're going to be outfitting some 'safari' vehicles so guests can be taken into the habitat to feed and interact with the animals (from within the vehicle). I was always under the impression that this kind of interaction wasn't necessarily good for either the humans or the animals-- is there a way it can be done ethically?? Anyway, I just thought it was interesting!

Ooo, okay, your question aligned with a thing I've been chewing on for a while, so let's talk ~ethics~ and ~philosophy~ aka this is gonna be a bit long. I do promise I'll answer your question, though!

The first thing I want to note is that you're really asking about two different things, which are almost always conflated these days when it comes to talking about animals: welfare (is the animal happy / healthy / safe) and ethics (is what's happening good / moral / acceptable). It's really important that we distinguish between the two, because welfare is an objective measure of physical and mental wellbeing, and ethics are a human construct that involves subjective interpretation.

A useful but highly oversimplified example of this is the bothering of cats for online videos. Pestering a cat to get a funny reaction once in a while may not impact their overall welfare. Welfare is the cumulative impact of an animal's experiences, which means that single acute moments may not weight heavily on the entire balance. If the cat is healthy, fed well, enriched, and has a good and positive bond with their humans, those momentary irritations for videos might not matter much. That doesn't mean that you or I, as viewers, might not still find bothering an animal for internet clout ethical. We can believe that humans shouldn't ever unnecessarily put their pet through negative experiences, and we can think that doing so just because it brings the human money or fame is distasteful. But! We have to recognize that as used in this example, those ethical stances aren't inherently tied to the animal's welfare state. Many people I know who dislike cat-bothering don't care if the animal has good welfare outside of that situation - they don't like that the situation occurs at all, ever.

So, back to your question. You're wanting to know if it's okay for a zoo to have a drive-through aspect of an exhibit where people get to feed the animals. You're asking if it's safe for the humans and for the animals (which is a welfare question) and if that type of interaction is ethical. I could just tell you that of course it's fine, San Antonio is an AZA zoo and their accreditation only allows them to do "good things" but that's now how it works here (nor is it the reality of accreditation).

The safety aspect is one I'm not worried about. It's actually a pretty common thing for reputable facilities to do some sort of vehicle tour in savanna habitats, whether in the guest's vehicle (safari parks) or on a hay-ride type vehicle (zoos). Many of those allow guests to feed out specific parts of their animals' diets. Offhand, I know Tampa and Fossil Rim both have feeding tours like this in a staff-driven vehicle. It's not specified from the zoo's press release, but I can guarantee you that guests will not be driving those vehicles - which means the interactions will be proctored by staff and what people are feeding out will be carefully regulated. The habitat is going to have rhino, giraffe, zebra, ostrich, and antelope/gazelle, and I'd guess that the drive-through is going to stick to those latter two and maybe additional species. Those are animals where a car is an appropriate safety barrier.

As to if it's ethical to do? It's spiny question, because it depends very directly on the ethical perspectives of the person you're asking. I think it's fine - you may not. Let's break down the different things that come into consideration on the ethical side, and my responses:

"The zoo is commercially exploiting animals by letting people pay to get closer." If the issue is that people paying to get closer to animals is using them for money, well, that's the business model of a zoo (non-profit or not, they still need revenue to operate). So IMHO it's not like it's "less ethical" than anything else the zoo is doing, using that framing.

"Zoo animals should be allowed to be wild and undisturbed by guests driving in their habitats." Zoo animals aren't wild, and their entire lives revolve around humans and the human work schedule. As long as a vehicle entering the habitat doesn't have a negative welfare impact (e.g. they're not scared of it), it's not very different from the rest of the routine of managed care.

"Feeding zoo animals will encourage people to try to feed wild animals." Thanks to obnoxiously viral content creators, people are going to try to feed wild animals no matter what. Doing it in a proctored situation where a staff member can try to do some education at the same time is probably the best possible scenario.

"People just do those tours to get close to cool animals." People are always going to want to touch the animals. If being able to pay for a tour keeps them from jumping the fence to try to pet a rhino, great.

There's one more that I want to talk about separately, because I think it's where a lot of confusion gets generated. It's this idea that "Humans shouldn't be interacting with animals at all, any interaction is unethical and bad for the animals." This is a welfare crossover, but not one actually informed by welfare science in a captive situation. And I think it's because the internet lacks nuance. Yes, it is absolutely correct to say that with wild animals, you should never ever try to feed a deer out of your car (or similar). It is incredibly harmful to those animals on both an acute and chronic timeline. But thanks to the rage-bait algorithms on social media and people endlessly justifying doing stupid, dangerous, bad things (and getting pushback for it), there's been a lot of bleed between the public's understanding of what wild animal welfare is and what captive animal welfare is. Combine that with the reality that captive animal welfare cannot be assessed or diagnosed from a single context-less clip, and that people with strong beliefs and no practical experience with the field/species/individual will pass judgement loudly to their audiences...

The result is almost a reflexive believe in many sectors of the internet that any human-animal interaction that isn't couched as a "rescue" is inherently unethical, for reasons people often can't articulate. Which is why, I think, so often people want to support certain aspects of captive animal management but feel guilty for doing so. I see this a lot in the questions the blogs gets, and I'm glad people feel comfortable asking, because it's important to think through not just the individual instances but the patterns leading us to question them.

So yes, I'd say that a staff-led experience in a vehicle chosen for safety is an ethical way to proctor an interaction between guests and certain savanna species. It will vary by facility - I'm always more wary about guests driving, although many drive-through safaris are fine - and by setup. I think what San Antonio is doing will be fine, though, and will be interested to see / hear about the setup when they start up.

If you've got a question about ethical captive management, I'm always happy to talk about it - but I'd invite you to poke around in your head a little and send me not just your question in the ask, but your thinking about why or why not something might be concerning. It's great practice for understanding why you relate to animal ethics the way you do, and where those beliefs come from.

#zoo ethics #zoo animal welfare #zoo philosophy #long post

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evansboyfriend · 2 days

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since the show is coming back tomorrow (!!!) and people seem to be a little bit confused about Tommy Kinard's canon character traits, as extrapolated from the source material, let's review, shall we?

Tommy put everything on the line, risked his job, not to mention entire life, by agreeing to fly Hen and Chimney and two more guys he's never even met before through a hurricane to maybe find (the wreckage of) a cruise ship that his old captain was on. He did it because Chimney called him and asked for a favour (also seen in 2x14, Broken) and because he trusts Hen's instincts (evidenced in 2x09, Hen Begins)

Tommy lied through his teeth to his co-worker when he stepped in to save Hen's unsuccessful bullshitting and made fake mouth static at the fire chief pretending the connection is bad before disconnecting the call. If there was nothing wrong with the cruise ship, he would have been fired, or at the very least suspended.

okay, what do we know so far? Tommy is loyal to his friends even if they haven't talked in years, he is dependable and will come through in a crisis.

we also know Tommy is a very skilled and competent pilot (given he's able to operate both the plane in 2x14 and helicopter in 7x03) and he flew said helicopter through a hurricane, landed it on the belly of a capsized ship, rescued the survivors, and flew everyone back to safety. and given the extremely dangerous conditions of the rogue rescue mission, I'd say he's also brave and/or a little bit reckless; when the situation calls for it, at least.

he's also super cool, an opinion shared by multiple characters (Buck, Christopher, and Chimney).

that being said, let's move on to 7x04

Tommy agreed to give Buck a tour of Harbor station, meaning he had to go to work on his day off, and then offered him flying lessons. So he's either super nice or he's interested in the cute guy (i think it's a little bit of both)

Tommy invited Eddie, a guy he barely knows, to a sold out big reunification bout, with ringside tickets that he got from the organiser, who he's apparently friends with, and flew them in a chopper! He's just a super nice dude.

Tommy offered to drive Eddie to the hospital, and talked about The Incident with him, because when he gets to Buck's loft, he says "he [Eddie] feels bad, in fact we both do" and honestly, he had no obligation to do any of that. He could have let Buck drive Eddie since he offered and wiped his hands clean of that mess. But he's a caring and considerate person, further evidenced by the fact that...

Tommy went to Buck's loft before he had to go to work, to talk to him in person and clear the air, saying he didn't want to do it on the phone or in a text. Tommy starts by apologising and stating very clearly that he never meant to come between Buck and Eddie and that neither of them meant to exclude Buck. He also easily reciprocated Buck's vulnerability. I think the loft scene alone does a great job at showing us that Tommy doesn't shy away from confrontation or a difficult conversation, is emotionally mature, values open and honest conversation, and owns up to his flaws and insecurities. (Yeah, I'm trying to be concise. There's meta upon meta about the goddamn loft scene)

He's also a little bit insane because why does hearing that the cute guy maimed his best friend make you want to kiss him. Tommy Kinard will see a red flag and pretend to be colourblind. (-> for tumblr purposes this is a joke)

anyway, moving on, Saturday rolls around...

Tommy noticed that Buck was a little tense, reassured him that no one's looking at them, and sympathised with him. He doesn't judge Buck, like, at all. I don't need to list all the ways Buck made an absolute fool of himself on their very first date. He also paid for the dinner.

Tommy cut the date short (abruptly, because this is a drama show) but before he left, he told Buck he's adorable, but not ready - and this is right after Buck forcefully shoved him back in the closet in front of their mutual friend, and especially after Tommy told him about his own difficult journey coming out of the closet.

Tommy showed up at the café, told Buck he has nothing to apologise for, and explained that he cut the date short because didn't want to pressure Buck.

Tommy asks Buck if he's absolutely sure, about Tommy being his date at his sister's wedding. Then says okay.

more character traits for Tommy Kinard: generous, non-judgmental, sympathetic, patient, and once again, a little bit insane.

night of Chimney's bachelor party/day of Maddie and Chimney's wedding:

Tommy shows up to the bachelor party even though he's on call for work, you know, as a firefighter pilot, and he could have spent this time sleeping or resting in case he gets called... and he does, to a wildfire! Before he goes he promises Buck that he'll try his damndest to make it to the wedding.

Tommy shows up as promised, after spending at least half a day fighting a wildfire? In his turnouts, covered in soot, but he shows up as promised.

I think this shows he is selfless first and foremost because he made time to show up to the (failed) bachelor party and he is honest and keeps his promises. Even if that means bringing a biohazard (himself) to a place full of vulnerable sick people (the hospital). Because, as previously established, he's a little bit insane.

these are the core Tommy episodes of season 7.

as for 7x09 and 7x10:

Tommy tenses up when confronted with his old captain Gerrard - who then subtly throws a slur at his face

Tommy is quick with the sass and will not indulge in his nosey friends' inquisitive questions

Tommy notices Buck's mood and checks in with him - he's caring and attentive

Tommy once again does not hesitate to admit to feeling jealous

Tommy doesn't really talk to his dad

Tommy likens his dad to captain Gerrard

Tommy admits that having Gerrard as his captain did not make him a better person (and okay, sidenote to talk about something that annoys me about this, because Tommy had different captains, including Bobby, while at the 118, and I think s7 canon seriously overestimated how long he worked under Gerrard, but let's say Gerrard was his first captain as a probie and influenced him to a certain extent)

some odd tidbits ~

Tommy has a sarcastic, deadpan sense of humour

Tommy is a goddamn flirt and unbelievably smooth

Tommy came out after he transferred from the 118 to the 217/Harbor Station

Tommy used to be a pilot in the army

Tommy flies for fun on his days off

Tommy plays basketball every other Thursday with Eddie and other first responders

Tommy knows muay thai

Tommy has a car lift and knows his way around an engine

Tommy likes watching half-naked pummel each other

Tommy likes karaoke trivia

Tommy likes craft beer, monster trucks, and the movie 'Love, Actually' (provided canon doesn't forget about this and/or retcons it for some reason)

#tommy kinard #my meta #hardly. i am stating canon facts.#send post

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cressidagrey · 3 days

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Stars all aligned - Chapter 1

Summary:

If there was one thing that both Azriel and Zahra Archeron had in common, it was that they were both very good at blending into the background.

They just never thought that their family were going to be the ones who never saw them at all.

Warning:

Bashing of like...every IC member? I think Rhys gets the worst though, definitely disordered eating, kinda depression?, isolation

(Lovely dividers thanks to @sweetmelodygraphics)

He found her deep inside the House of Wind. Far enough from the festivities of Starfall that it was startling to find her.

The second oldest Archeron Sister must have wandered off just like he had.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” Azriel asked her as he spied her sitting in a puddle of her skirts on one of the couches, staring at the empty fireplace.

“Why aren’t you?” Zahra gave back drily, not even looking up at him.

What exactly was he supposed to answer to that? Oh, I can't stomach watching your sister dance with her mate? And even if I could stomach that, Rhys's mental commentary to him about it had turned his stomach. Even when Azriel had kept away from Elain just like Rhysand had ordered him to do, ever since last year. So really...what was he supposed to answer?

“Dancing isn’t exactly my favourite activity,” Azriel finally replied. It wasn’t a lie.

"Yeah, well, mine neither," she answered with a shrug. "Not that I ever learned."

"You never learned?" he asked surprised. Nesta had learned. Elain had learned.

"Bastard, remember?" Zahra said drily. "I am lucky that I got to learn how to read and write and do basic math. I was not going to be molded into a perfect lady, because no self-respecting man would marry me anyway."

The blunt way Zahra was talking stunned Azriel momentarily. There was something harsh, something almost...bitter and resentful in her voice as she spoke.

It seemed like it didn't matter if one was born a bastard in Illyria or the Human lands. It was horrible either way.

"Your sisters will miss you," he said instead quietly. "And you'll miss the spectacle."

"I don't really care for the festivities," she said with another shrug. "I don’t like the holidays. Humans don’t have any. We… they are too busy trying to survive," Zahra corrected herself quietly. "And besides, I am only here anyway so I don't end up being an indentured servant until some of you decide that I am back in your good graces,” she gave back caustically.

He grimaced. That Zahra had vehemently disagreed about their treatment of Nesta was well known.

It had surprised him too because it was just as just as well known that Nesta seemed to not care for her half-sister on a good day. They weren't particularly close, in any way, shape or form.

Something in his chest clenched painfully. Not from the insult she threw in his direction, but from the defeated way she said it. That she thought that they would just…toss her aside like that.

She was one of them.

"We won't," he said firmly. Her eyes slowly turned toward him and there were dark shadows in those eyes. Out of all the Archeron Sisters, she was the only one with green eyes. Azriel wondered if she had inherited them from her late mother.

Zahra was only the half-sister after all. The result of her father’s dalliance with a maid. Her age put her somewhere between Nesta and Elain.

It was easy enough to pick out the differences between Nesta, Elain and Feyre and Zahra. Dark hair similar to Elain’s, but green eyes. Skin a few shades darker than any of theirs. Lips that looked like Feyre’s but a nose that looked like none of her sisters.

Zahra seemed to belong but didn’t.

And right now, these green eyes…something was wrong. Something was off with these eyes.

"You don’t know that," she said with a humourless laugh. "Do you want to lie to me too, and tell me that Rhysand has nothing to do with whatever happened between Elain and you?"

Azriel stiffened, a low sound escaping his throat. She knew. She knew.

"How did you-" he croaked hoarsely and Zahra cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Do you really think that I hadn't noticed the two of you dancing around each other for months? Or the fact that you two can barely manage to be in the same room together?" she asked dryly and Azriel averted his gaze. "There is no one as beautiful and kind as my sister," Zahra said drily. "I don't fault you for falling for her."

Azriel said nothing, the pain in his chest growing at her words. The pain...and the bitter realization that his feelings were not as well-hidden as he had thought they were.

"It doesn't matter," he said quietly. "She has a mate. She deserves better than me anyway."

"Did Rhysand tell you that too?" Zahra said drily. "You never tried to hide the fact that your mate was dying from the same, so you have that on him."

Azriel gritted his teeth, the pain in his chest becoming almost unbearable. "It doesn’t matter," he repeated firmly, the words tasting like ash in his mouth. "Elain is happy. I would do nothing to put that in danger."

"Yes, she is," Zahra agreed. "For what it's worth, I am sorry," she apologised to him, her voice honest.

Azriel swallowed, the pain in his chest lessening only to be replaced by something else. Something...much more complicated. Something like…pity.

He pitied her. This young female was so full of bitterness. He couldn’t even fault her for it either. She had been just a bastard. Even when they had first met the Archeron Sisters…Zahra had been working in the household as a maid. Half employee, half part of the family. Like their father couldn’t make up his mind what he should do with his bastard daughter.

"You don't have anything to apologise for," Azriel finally told her quietly. "Do you really not want to watch?" he asked her. "You are supposed to wish for something when you see the stars fall."

She snorted, the sound bitter. "What I want, I am never going to get," Zahra said, her voice brittle.

He took her in in more detail at that moment.

The simple green gown she wore, high necked and long sleeved...that long gown that did little to hide how thing she was. The dark brown hair, pulled into a braid, obviously trying to hide the pointed tips of her ears and failing...the way her skin, darker than all of her sisters, was nearly ashen.

They had all thought that she was doing well. That Zahra at least was adjusting well.

But she wasn't. She wasn’t doing better. She hadn't adjusted. Azriel would bet anything that all she wanted in her life was to be human again.

She hadn't adjusted. She just acted in a way that didn't bother anybody, that didn’t spell trouble for anybody. Zahra had gotten herself a job, managing the accounting at an apothecary in the city. She had gotten herself a little cottage to rent. She didn’t go out and get drunk. She didn’t use any money from Rhys or Feyre. She showed up for family dinners, staying quiet and polite.

And if she was miserable…well, then nobody cared, because she didn’t bother anybody. Azriel could understand that. The same was the case for him.

Azriel clenched his jaw, watching her quietly sitting here. The way she was trying to hide away. The dress that was more like a potato sack than anything else. The way her skin was almost...grey. That bitter voice.

The shadows were stirring and he was unable to look away from her. She looks upset, Master, they told him helpfully.

"Do you want to go home?" Azriel offered quietly. Home to her cottage? Maybe some peace and quiet would make her feel better.

Zahra shrugged, not looking at him. Not giving him an inch. That wall of bitterness and sarcasm was so firmly in place, that it was practically a solid wall between them.

“Don’t want to end like an indentured servant, remember?“ she quipped drily.

“You won’t,“ Azriel said evenly. “You had a headache. I brought you home.“

She still didn’t look at him, her hands tightly knotted into her skirts as she sat there. She was so thin, almost fragile-looking. Her skin was sickly grey. “Come on,” he said finally, walking towards her.

Zahra finally looked up at him. Those green eyes. A bitter and lonely light in them. “What are you doing?“ she muttered.

“I’m bringing you home,” he said simply, holding out his hand. “Come on, get up.“

Zahra looked at his hand, her gaze wary. “Why?“ she asked quietly.

“Because you look like you are about to keel over,” he said, more bluntly than intended.

“Gee, thanks,” she said dryly, her voice sarcastic and bitter. But she placed her hand into his own and let him pull her to her feet, even though he could feel the tension in her entire body.

Azriel wrapped his arm around her shoulders, steadying her. “Come on. Let’s get you home and into bed,” he said firmly.

He led her towards the balcony, the last few streaks of light painting the sky, and he grasped her tightly as they shout these few feet into the air until he could winnow to the cottage she rented.

It’s ugly, the shadows complained.

He had to agree with them. The cottage was an ugly little thing. Plain. Small. The type of thing that was more of a hovel in the outskirts, rather than anything else.

“Home sweet home,“ Zahra said dryly, pulling away from him and a key out of her purse.

That cottage was in serious need of some renovations when the red paint that was flaking off the door was anything to go by.

As she unlocked the door it became obvious that while she kept it clean and neat.. even that couldn’t help much. This is a hovel, the shadows hissed.

Azriel was inclined to agree. He looked around with a frown, as the shadows scuttered around the tiny cottage. “You live here?“ he couldn’t help but ask. It was a terrible hovel indeed.

Zahra shrugged as if she didn’t notice the disgust in his voice. “I couldn’t exactly afford anything else at first,” she said drily.

At least not without taking any money from Rhys and Feyre, and clearly that was nothing that Zahra wanted to do.

He was struck by how empty it all looked. There was a small kitchen space, a table with a few chairs a fireplace… And the door that led to her bedroom, he assumed.

“How long have you lived here?“ he asked carefully, taking in the bare emptiness. There were no pictures on the walls. No trinkets and little belongings anywhere. It was…lifeless. She shrugged again and kicked off her shoes, making her way towards the bedroom. “A year?“

The room was equally simple and bare. A bed, a few clothes. A little bathing chamber. That was it.

“You’ve lived here for over a year?“ Azriel repeated, his voice turning sharp as he looked at everything. There wasn’t even a mirror on the wall.

When she just shrugged again, he was done. He grabbed her arm and towed her back into the main room. “Stay,” he ordered, pointing at the table and one of the two rickety chairs.

“What are you doing?“ Zahra asked, raising both eyebrows at him. Her irritation had started to rise considerably. At least that had done something to the sickly colour of her skin.

“Making sure you eat something before you pass out on me,” Azriel muttered, turning back into the kitchen area, looking around with a frown.

There was…nothing. His shadows reported as much. She literally had a few pieces of bread and some cheese in the whole house. He was more than fuming. That was not enough that she was living in…this hovel, she was apparently also starving herself.

He pointed at the chair again. “Sit,” he ordered a little sharper than he had intended.

The glare she gave him did not surprise him. Zahra hated being ordered around. “No,” she said firmly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I’m not hungry.“

Azriel clenched his jaw, the anger flaring. How stubborn could she be?

“You clearly haven’t eaten in days,” he said, pointing out the obvious. “You have nothing in your house to eat.”

“I have what I need,” she retorted, her own anger flaring. Azriel gritted his teeth, the urge to snap at her almost overwhelming.

“You are skin and bones,” he hissed. “There is barely enough fat on you to keep out the cold.“

“Why do you care?“ she snapped right back.

The question hit him squarely in the chest. Why did he care? Why, he asked himself for a moment. Why indeed.

He wasn’t going to lie to himself and say that it was just because she was Feyre’s sister.

Thankfully, Azriel was saved from actually having to answer, when her stomach grumbled.

Loudly. Azriel almost chuckled at the sound of her own stomach betraying just how hungry she really was. “Clearly your body disagrees with you,” he said drily.

“Shut up,” Zahra snapped, her skin flushing at the sound of her own stomach.

“I will shut up after you’ve eaten something,” Azriel said firmly, folding his arms across his chest.

Zahra gave him a glare that could strip the paint from the walls, (but then, the paint was already flaking off anyway). Still, she grudgingly sank down on the chair, her eyes avoiding his.

He turned back into the kitchen, opening cupboards and drawers and found absolutely nothing. There was nothing. Not even some fruits or vegetables.

He slammed the last cupboard closed, almost causing the hinges to break, the anger flaring hotly in his chest. That stupid, stubborn, stubborn woman.

“I will personally come here every day and stuff you full until you burst,” he snapped before he could stop himself.

“Why?” she asked and he could hear the challenge in her voice. Her own anger rose to meet his own. “Why would you even bother?“

“Because you are starving yourself,” he said, spinning around to face her. “Because you are so thin, I could snap you in half with one hand. Because I’m pretty damn sure you haven’t eaten a proper meal in at least a year. That’s why.“

“Maybe I don’t deserve a proper meal,” she shot back and something inside of him snapped at the tone in her voice.

Because he knew that feeling. He knew. For just a moment he froze. They were far more similar than they should be.

It was a terrible realization. He knew what the self-hatred and bitterness was like. He understood it far better than he wanted to.

“Nobody is going to suddenly show up and care,” he told her quietly. He saw her eyes flare at the words and he knew she got the meaning behind them instantly.

She sat there, her jaw tensed. “And what do you know about it?” she snapped, her voice bitter.

“I know what it feels like to starve oneself,” he said calmly. “I know what it feels like to have not a single person notice or care.“

The words rang truer than they should. Her eyes widened for a moment, shock flashing through her.

“I know what it feels like to be the one be always at the edge of the family. I know what it feels like for everybody around me to meet their mate but not me.“

The words slipped out before he could stop them. The pain he had buried so deep, deep down flaring up. The pain and loneliness and bitter realization that would never have what everyone else had.

He realized only then how much they really had in common. How similar they were.

“I know what it feels like to be the afterthought,” he continued, unable to stop now. “I know how it feels to be shoved aside. I know how it feels to watch everyone around me find someone while I’m the one left behind.“

He took a step closer to where she was sitting, towering over her. “And I know how it feels to hate myself enough to deny myself the basic needs I actually have.“

The last words made her flinch. He was so close he could almost see the pain and guilt and bitter realization flit across her face. Her eyes were on her lap, her fingers wrapped around the edge of the table.

“I know what it feels like to feel as if I don’t deserve to eat,” he said quietly. “Because I’m not good enough. Not worthy enough. Not deserving enough.“

He knelt down in front of her, forcing her to look at him. To meet his eyes.

She tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let her. He wanted her to see. To understand that she wasn’t as alone as she thought. “I know what it feels like to punish myself by not giving myself what I actually need,” he said quietly.

Her breath hitched at the last words, her eyes widening ever so slightly. She was listening. Really listening to what he said.

“You’re not the only one who hates yourself, you know,” he said quietly. The look in her eyes shattered him. The look of realisation. Of bitter understanding. The realization that they were so much more similar than either of them had thought before.

Zahra bit her lip, the guilt flashing across her face. Her hands started trembling, ever so slightly.

“You don’t deserve to go hungry,” he said quietly, his voice firm and quiet. “You don’t deserve to starve yourself. You don’t deserve to live in this… hovel.

“The cauldron should just have killed me,” Zara said her voice brittle. “I don’t like this life.”

And didn’t that break his fucking heart?

She laughed bitterly, but there was no humour in it. “I’m not even surviving,” she said, a bitter smile on her thin lips. “I’m existing. There is a difference.“

The words hit him hard. She was right. She didn’t survive, she just existed. There was a difference and a huge one at that. “Then stop just existing,” he said quietly.

His hand was still cupping her cheek, his thumb stroking gently over her skin.

“Says the guy that just keeps moping around,” she quipped.

It was a low blow but also true. Azriel’s jaw tensed at the comment. “I don’t mope,” he bit. “I just..“

He didn’t really have a good argument in his defence at the moment.

He sighed. “We should both stop rotting away,” he said drily.

“Yeah, well, that’s easy to you to say,” Zahra said and he could hear the bitterness in her voice.

“Eat your cheese,” he responded.

She rolled her eyes and snatched away the slice of cheese off the table. “Happy now?“ she muttered.

“Delighted,” he gave back drily, as he moved towards her fireplace.

“You don’t need to do that,” Zahra said quietly. “I can do that.”

“Considering you’ve been too starved to think straight, you are going to let me do this,” Azriel cut across her calmly. “You are more than likely to burn yourself.”

“Don’t the flames bother you?” She asked him quietly. He froze.

Nobody else had ever asked him. They had just expected him to be over it by now. He had 500 years to be over it. His hands clenched.

“Yes,” he answered quietly. “They still do.” It was the honest truth. A truth he never told anyone before, least of all someone like her. The shadows curled around his shoulders and arms as if to calm him down. The flames still bothered him. They always would. “But I learnt to deal with it a long time ago,” he continued.

“That’s not fair to you,” Zahra said, her voice quiet. “You are always the one in discomfort. And nobody cares.”

Her words hit him square in the gut. It was true. It was painfully true. He was always the one being uncomfortable. Always the one on edge. It had always been expected of him to be over it by now, the pain and the hurt. The fear and the bitterness.

He finished building the fire. Using a match to light it carefully, then closing the door quickly.

“I can deal with it,” he answered quietly. “You should go to sleep,” he advised her.

“So should you,” Zahra told him just as quietly. “You look terrible.“ He knew he looked like crap. But that didn’t matter.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, brushing off her comment. Even though he knew it was a lie. Even though he knew they were both terrible at taking care of themselves.

“You are a terrible liar,” she quipped. He looked at her and was surprised to see a tiny smile on her face.

“And you’re a very stubborn, very stupid, very annoying woman,” he quipped back just as quietly.

The smile on her face broadened the tiniest bit at the comment. “I could say the same about you,” she shot back.

“Sleep,” he told her again.

And then he left that little cottage to get back to the House of Wind. He didn’t bother winnowing, instead, he shot up into the sky with one flap of his mighty wings. He wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway.

His mind was whirling as he flew back to the House of Wind. So much had happened in the last few hours and it was all still a lot to process.

He had always been good at keeping a rein on his thoughts and his emotions. But this time, he simply couldn’t.

Zahra and him, always on the outskirts of their family. Ignored and expected to get on with it.

They were so similar in so many ways. It was shocking to realize just how much they actually had in common.

The loneliness and solitude he had come to live with, she had experienced herself. The pain and the bitterness, he could recognize it on her, for he had felt it himself.

Where are you, Az? Rhys demanded at that moment mentally. Azriel would like to scratch out his eyes, but he didn’t.

I’m flying back to the House, he sent back curtly. Zahra had a headache, so I brought her home.

A headache, Rhys shot back incredulously. Azriel could almost see the look on his High Lord’s face. You really think I will buy that?

I don’t care if you believe me or not, Azriel responded icily, his temper rising already at the tone. It is the truth and I really don’t wish to have a discussion over it.

There was a pause in Rhys’ mind. Then a slight huff. You can be so unbelievably stubborn sometimes, you know that?

Azriel didn’t bother reacting to that.

Elain and Lucien are figuring things out. So keep away from her, Rhys told him sharply.

I am keeping away from her, Azriel shot back, irritation flaring. You really think I will go and ruin this for her?

I don’t know what you are up to, Rhys retorted, and Azriel knew the High Lord was irritated. But I really don’t have the time to deal with your crap right now. That’s an order.

Understood, High Lord, Azriel snarled back and he felt Rhys chuckle in his mind at the tone. I will keep away from your precious Elain, I promise.

Damn right you will, he heard Rhys mutter in his mind and the mental connection between the two of them snapped close.

Azriel snarled in irritation as he landed on his balcony and stalked into his room. It wasn’t enough that he was wrestling with his own emotions, No, he also had Rhys all up his ass about it.

And he was infuriated about the whole thing.

Nobody will suddenly show up and care, he has told Zahra. It was the truth. Nobody would care.

They only cared as long as they got what they wanted from him.

Chip away the pieces they didn’t like. Mould him into a person they could stomach.

Either it was Rhys ordering to keep away from Elain…or ordering him to behave around Mor and Emerie… and to be quite honest…Azriel was done.

It was always him that needed to bend to make everybody else comfortable. Nobody bends for him.

So many years of following orders, of keeping his mouth shut, of bottling up the anger.

Even when everyone around him was getting what they wanted. They got their happily ever after. And he was left behind. Not once did someone ever realize that he was struggling. Not once did someone notice that he needed something…anything. That he was hurting and in pain. Nobody even bothered to check on him, to ask how he was doing.

They all got what they wanted. Mor, Emerie, even Feyre. They all got the mate that they wanted. Rhys, Cassian and even Amren had Varian.

He was the one always helping everyone else. Always the one having to endure everything. Never anything for himself. No love for himself.

Orders, commands, demands…that’s all it ever was. He didn’t get a say in anything. They just expected him to be fine. And if he wasn’t…he had to push through it.

He was the tool that did whatever needed to be done. The spy that got the order to do the dirty work. The shadowsinger that just had to endure everything.

All for scraps of attention.

Azriel was done.

He was so done. With everything. With everyone. With the one-sided affection that he had given in a desperate attempt to feel…something, anything….

He needed to stop expecting to get anything from them.

Zahra did not. She seemed to have given that up a very long time ago

The cold realization that they had been doing the same to her hit him. She was also the tool they used when they needed it. She may not be a spy, but they used her just the same. Expected her to be fine.

She was alone just as much as he was.

Alone and isolated, an afterthought to their family just as much as he was.

***

It was quiet in the little cottage.

Peaceful.

Comfortable.

Sie should be happy. Or at the very least…she should be content, should she not?.

Zahra had a roof over her head. And if she wanted to…she could afford food.

Her job didn’t pay that well, but it wouldn’t leave her starving. She just wasn’t hungry. She seemingly never was.

That was a lie and she knew it. Deep down she was hungry all the time. She just refused to give in to eating. She refused to listen to her body screaming for sustenance. It didn’t matter, anyway. Nobody cared.

She didn’t care.

Something inside her had broken during her bath in that cauldron. Her humanity had burned away and with that…with that everything Zahra had ever wanted.

She didn’t crave anything anymore. Not love. Not affection. Not attention. Not food. It was all gone. All she felt was numb.

Cold, empty and numb. Like her shell had hardened and frozen over.

She had never thought it was possible to feel so damn tired without having done anything.

Zahra forced herself to get up. Forced herself to heat some water on the stove… to make tea. The cheapest tea she had been able to find at the market.

It wasn’t the best. The taste was bitter and the color was more brown than black. But it was tea and she was thirsty enough to drink it.

It wasn’t very warm and left a bitter aftertaste on the tongue. Like her life itself.

Maybe just dying would have been easier, she reflected bitterly. Was this how eternity would feel? Alone? Tucked away in this cottage?

All her sisters had been given a mating bond. They had been given another person who loved them unconditionally…that was at their side. That wanted them around. That wanted to spent time with them.

And then there was her.

She had been closest to Feyre during the years in that cottage. Nesta gave her the fault for seemingly everything htat had ever gone wrong in her life, though Zahra privately thought that for Nesta, Zahra was just the evidence of another of her father’s failings…Elain…well, Elain was more embarrassed than anything about Zahra’s very existence. But Feyre…well, Feyre hadn’t cared. And so Zahra had tried to dote on her as much as she could.

And then clearly she had been replaced in Feyre’s affections.

She didn’t fault her for that.

Feyre had made her own life. And she had every right to do that. She was busy with her mate and her son and Mor was her best friend and…there was seemingly no place for Zahra there.

Which was fine.

It was.

But if Zahra was completely honest with herself…she was unspeakably jealous of the mating bond of every single one of her sisters.

Of that promise of at least one person that would be on her side, come Hel or High Water.

Clearly, something was wrong with her that she hadn’t been given a Mating Bond.

She wasn’t worth a mate. Clearly, something was broken inside her. Otherwise, the cauldron would have given her a mate, right?

Maybe she was broken so thoroughly that nobody even wanted her.

Why would they? She was a shell of a person, a ghost of the woman she was supposed to be.

She was cold, empty and numb. Everything that nobody could possibly want.

Everyone else got a mate, love and happiness. Not her.

She had nothing.

Her hands clenched around her lukewarm cup of tea.

Some random sparks of light sparked against the mug. A gift from the cauldron. They didn’t seem to do anything but warm whatever they touched. Maybe that was that random power the cauldron had given her. Neither future or death…but…warmth. She supposed it was something.

She wasn’t quite sure what to do with it, and she had never bothered telling anybody about it.

Sometimes she allowed herself to play with them when she couldn’t sleep. They were strange and utterly useless.

It wasn’t the power of foresight or the power of a death god…no. She had the stupid power to create sparks. Useless sparks of light.

Oh well.

Complaining about her sparks wasn’t going to help her either.

So she pulled out her work and sat down to do her work as the sun came up and the day went on.

Zahra balanced the account ledgers for one of the apothecaries in Velaris. Which meant she had a whole box of receipts to sort through and put into said ledger.

One receipt at a time, one name after the other.

It kept her busy. It paid well enough. She seemed to have some kind of aptitude for it…maybe the fact that her father was a merchant had come through for once.

She worked until the late evening. Until her eyes couldn’t concentrate on the numbers anymore.Until her back and shoulders ached with pain. She stretched her shoulders back.

She wondered if she should eat something. Her cheese was gone, thanks to Azriel standing over her until she ate it…but she still had one or two slices of bread, didn’t she?

She could go food shopping…buy another bread, another chunk of cheese tomorrow.

Then Zahra heard a knock on the door.

Confusion spread through her. Who would knock on her door at that very late hour? It was after 9 pm already.

She got up, walked towards the door and opened it carefully.

It was the last person she would expected to be standing on the front porch. Azriel.

“I am making you dinner.“

Her eyes widened at that announcement. “You are what?” she asked him dumbly.

He just gave her a deadpan look and pushed past her. “I am cooking dinner because I am assuming that you haven’t eaten yet,” he told her plainly.

It was true. Zahra hadn’t eaten a proper meal in god knows how long. But why did he care?? “Why?” she blurted out. “Why do you care if I’ve eaten?”

He gave her a sharp look and pushed her towards the kitchen chair. “Sit down,” he simply ordered and she was too taken aback to protest against it.

He had brought his own ingredients. His own knives, all tucked away in a little basket that he put on her countertop. “Can you peel potatoes?” He asked her as he rummaged through it.

She could just stare at him.

“Who do you think cooked the meat Feyre hunted?” Zahra replied drily.

Azriel froze in the process of digging something out of the basket on the counter. “You can cook?” he asked her and she heard the surprise in his voice.

Zahra let out a snort. “Yes, I can cook,” she retorted. “What did you think I was doing this whole time in the cottage? Twiddling my thumbs?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I had no idea what you were up to,” he told her truthfully. “I thought you were as useless as Elain and Nesta were at that point,” he admitted.

“Nesta did all the cleaning and hacked the wook,” Zara corrected him quietly. “Elain mended. I cooked. Feyre was the only one who hunted. And yes, we should have done more, but I did help run the household. The only one who never helped was our father.” The bitterness bled into her voice at that.

There was a long pause after her admission. Then Azriel exhaled. “I guess I shouldn’t be as surprised as I am,” he muttered. “You don’t strike me as a pampered useless damsel.”

“Thank you for that assessment, Shadowsinger,” she quipped back. “I will make sure to remember it when I need a pick-me-up.”

He put a sack of potatoes in front of her. “I take it I’m peeling potatoes,” Zahra murmured, staring at the sack that was in front of her.

“Yes,” Azriel confirmed in that no-nonsense voice of his. “While I prep the meat. I do hope you like rabbit,” he added drily.

“Oh good,” she muttered, grabbing a knife and started to peel away at the potatoes. “Did you hunt it?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, his voice neutral. Zahra bit back a snarky remark and focused on the potatoes.

They worked like that in silence. Him preparing the meat, her peeling the potatoes and the carrots.

It was odd. This whole thing was odd. Sitting and cooking with Azriel. She hadn’t even known he could cook.

And yet…it was comfortable. Like the silence wasn’t awkward and neither of them felt the need to break it. It was a comfortable domestic kind of silence. Like they had done this a thousand times before.

“How are you with spicy food?” Azriel asked her after he had taken the potatoes from her.

Zahra blinked in surprise. “I have a pretty good tolerance, why?” she asked, curious.

“All the food I can cook is Illyrian,” Azriel answered drily. “I learned from Rhys’ mother and later from my own. It’s spicy.”

“I can handle a bit of spice,” she assured him. “It should be fine.” He nodded in response.

The sound of the fire crackling in the stove and him stirring up the meat were the only sounds filling the kitchen as they continued their work.

Zahra honestly had no idea Azriel could cook. He didn’t seem like the type of male who spent time cooped up in the kitchen, making meals. It was a little surprising.

And yet, the scents of spices and rabbit were filling her kitchen right now... It smelled almost heavenly.

She hadn’t smelled something as heavenly in a long time. And her stomach growled in response to the delicious scents of food. Zahra tried to remember when she’d last eaten something actually decent, but she couldn’t think straight. The food was distracting her.

“You look half starved,” Azriel observed in a deadpanned tone and she snapped her head up only to find him looking at her.

His eyes were focused on her, a frown playing on his forehead. “When was the last time you actually ate something properly?” he asked her, his voice firm.

She averted her gaze. “I don’t know,” she muttered, looking away from him and to the pot bubbling on the stove. “Maybe a week ago?”

He was silent for a moment. “That long?” he asked her, his voice carefully neutral. She just shrugged in response to keep herself from admitting that she actually couldn’t remember exactly.

He poured hot, thick stew into a bowl for her and then put it in front of her, holding out cutlery for her to take. “Why are you doing this?” Zahra asked him weakly.

“Because I wish somehow had done it for me,” Azriel responded

That simple statement made her blink in surprise. It was not an answer she had been expecting. She bit her lip, not really sure what to say.

And then he simply said. “Eat. You look like you’d blow away at the slightest breeze.”

She should have been angered by that blunt statement, but somehow she wasn’t.

So Zahra ate.

The food tasted incredibly good. She had to admit that the Shadowsinger was talented with cooking. The food was spiced just perfectly, hot and filled with flavour.

Every bite made her realize just how incredibly hungry she was. Her stomach filled slowly and the hunger abated with every spoonful. It was like her insides started to come back to life. The numbness was slowly disappearing, replaced by an odd sort of warmth flowing through her limbs.

"Thank you," she finally said weakly.

Azriel just nodded at her, watching her eat. “Of course,” he murmured and continued with his own food.

#acotar fanfiction #azriel x oc #azriel x reader #azriel fanfiction #azriel fanfic #Azriel x Archeron!Reader #Stars all aligned

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entitled-fangirl · 12 hours

Text

War prize.

Cregan Stark x Targaryen!reader

Summary: The North hates Cregan's wife and shows it rather harshly. Cregan is there to tell them off.

Warnings: violence, sexism, talks of losing virginity unwillingly, the poor reader just going through it😭

A/n: My writing is kinda eh on this one but I got it done which is all that matters. Huge italicized sections mean like a little flashback in case you needed to know that. Based on an ask!

Masterlist

........................................................

She watched her guard lock the door behind him.

How long had she been stuck in this castle?

She felt used. Taken as a trophy and nothing more. Purely a way to show status.

Purely a way to show who won the war.

Cregan Stark had won the war. And now she was his.

He was kind and caring, quick to compassion and slow to anger. If not for the others, she could've seen this as a happy marriage.

But the others made that impossible.

For the door was not locked to keep her in, but to keep others out.

Cregan saw the very actions his people tried against her, and he was concerned.

It didn't help that all of her dresses were green. A reminder of what had come to pass.

Anytime Cregan's back was turned, something happened to her. Whether it was harsh words, spitting at her feet, or even once a manhandling that almost turned into a mob.

Cregan knew she deserved better. She was kind. He hardly believed her to be a Hightower. At first glance that day in the Keep, he thought perhaps she was Aemond's wife, or another one of Aegon's whores he had always kept around.

But no. Aemond's twin sister.

…

He felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness when two men threw the woman to the ground in front of him.

Her dress was torn in places. Her hair was tangled and dirt ran from her temple to her chin, clearly having been thrown around a lot. She wiped the falling tears from her face with bruised hands.

"What is this?" He asked the men. Others began to crowd around them to see what would become of her.

The men had only seen prostitutes along the path from the North to the Keep, and even those were few. Seeing a highborn lady was a rare sight.

"Found her hiding away," the man on her right commented.

Cregan sighed and reached down, pulling her chin up so he could look at her. He tipped her face from side to side, observing her. "And what did you hope I'd say when you threw a princess down at my feet? Did you expect me to reward you?"

The man paled. "Well, this is a traitor, my lord. Surely-"

"-Her only crime was the womb she was born from."

"She wear their colors still, Lord Stark-"

"Is she? I can hardly tell under the mud you've drug her through." He huffed, "I want you two out of my sight."

They looked one another and nodded, moving to pick up the girl again. She jerked back in fear.

"Leave her," he grumbled. "Well? Be gone. All of you!"

Slowly, they filed out of the room. "Are you gravely injured?" He asked softly.

"Not particularly, my lord," she whimpered.

He sighed and bent at the knee, joining her on the ground. "Did any of them truly put their hands on you? More than to drag you here?"

She wiped her face again, "Are you hoping to take my innocence, my lord?"

A noise involuntarily left his throat. "What?"

"I… It is yours. Just please don't harm me," she sniffled.

Any motion he made to comfort her, he pulled away as if burned. "I'm not going to do that."

"No, no please don't leave me to them," she begged when he pulled away. "Please don't let them have me. I'll do anything."

"They won't have you," he tried again. "Nothing more is going to happen to you. Now, go get redressed and come back. You're not leaving my side until I get this situated."

…

After a few hours, Cregan unlocked the door and entered their shared chambers. "My love?"

He cursed under his breath when he noticed she had fallen asleep on the bed. He wouldn't have been so loud had he known.

He sat on the bed and brushed her hair from her face. "Wake up, dear wife."

She hummed in discontent.

His lips pulled into a thin line. Things had gone especially wrong lately and it had begun to show in her actions.

"C'mon." He began to pull her up.

She whined and began to lean into him, tucking her face into his neck.

He chuckled, "I have something for you."

Her eyes opened, "Oh, do you?"

…

There was outrage when Cregan took her as a wife. The North fought against the idea of having a Southern traitor as their Lady.

He had promised King Aegon III to be fair and just, and the boy said okay, knowing that he would stay honest to his word.

But the North hated her all the same.

Cregan never considered to fear for her safety, for she was the Warden's wife, and he thought the people would know better than to touch her.

That, and she hadn't told him of the things said right to her face when he wasn't around. She figured he knew.

They walked through the city, her arm in his as he showed her around. She took in every sight she could, entranced by the culture of the North.

But that also welcomed the stares.

Cregan had noticed them immediately, and he flipped her hood up. He didn't care about them, but he knew she would. So by doing so, he was hoping it would bring her a little more comfort.

Anyone in Westeros would recognize that silver hair.

He leaned down just a bit. "Just tell me when you grow tired or cold."

She nodded, "May I go explore?"

He smiled, "So eager to get away from me?"

"No," she corrects.

"I'm only jesting. Go on."

She grinned and began to look around, trying to decide where to go first.

"Don't wander off too far," he remarked as he moved towards a lord to chat.

She nodded and went, walking a little further down the road. She looked back occasionally to make sure she was still in his line of sight. In doing so, she bumped into a woman harshly.

Y/n pulled back and apologized. "Forgive me!"

The woman set her basket down and straightened her skirt. "Foolish girl. Watch where you step next time."

"I do apologize." She dug in her pocket, pulling out a few coins. "Here. For your trouble."

The woman's eyes widened. She pulled the coins from her hand accusingly. "Where did you get these?" She hissed.

"Well… I… just from…" she turned back to where she could see Cregan.

The woman grabbed her arm. "Did you steal these? Tell me where."

She jerked against the woman's movements. "No. No, I didn't."

"My lady, is this girl bothering you?" A tall man interfered, helping the woman.

The woman tilted her head, "She's throwing around coins like she's something of value. Look at 'er."

The man eyed her and reached up, pulling the princess' hood down. Their eyes widened.

She turned to try to catch Cregan's attention, but the man pulled her to him. "A Targaryen, eh? The usurper's bitch sister, aren't you?"

"Please let me go," she whimpered.

"A green traitor in Winterfell? Seems the rumors were right."

She tried to pull her arm away, "Unhand me."

"Shut it, traitor scum."

"CREGAN!" She yelled out of instinct.

Cregan's head snapped immediately, his heart dropping to his stomach. His eyes scanned the crowd, trying to find her amidst the people that had begun to gather. But he couldn't see her. His worry grew and he began to step out into the crowd in hope of finding her.

She fought against the man's grip. She remembered this feeling of helplessness from only weeks before. "Stop! Please… Please, I'll do anything! Just stop!"

Anyone around them was stopped now, onlooking or shouting at what was going on.

Cregan's jaw set as he figured she was in the midst of it, and he rolled his shoulders back.

"CREGAN!" He heard again, and that was all he needed.

He began to shove people to the side in an attempt to move through the mob that had begun to form. His angered shouts were drowned out.

Luckily, the Northern Warden was burly and built like a wall, so he was able to work through the crowd by sheer force alone.

Once towards the middle, he finally saw her.

The man held her tightly by her silver hair. Her hands were trying to lighten his harsh on her as she cried. She couldn't stop the other's hands from pulling at her skirt or the way they spit at her, but she could at least try to stop the pain erupting from her scalp.

"ENOUGH!" Cregan yelled. He finally made it to them, and his hand gripped the man's throat tightly and he leaned down to his ear. "Unhand her."

She sunk to the ground and clutched at her dress.

Cregan kept his hand firm but looked out at the others that still surrounded them. "Leave." he growled through his teeth. "All of you." When no one moved, he threw the man to the ground and turned to them in rage. "LEAVE!"

One by one they left quietly. He looked down at the man. "May the gods have mercy on you, for I have none."

…

"Keep your eyes closed," he chuckled when she almost stumbled. "I've got you."

"How far must we go?"

"Almost there, I assure you."

After a while, he finally sat her down and instructed her to hold on her arms.

A heavy weight was placed in them. Something soft. Something moving.

"Open."

"A dire wolf?" Her eyes widened.

"Mere pup now, but a mighty predator later. I felt I owed you one."

She frowned, "You don't owe me a thing. I… I feel as if I owe you."

He couldn't stop a bright laugh from escaping his throat. "Hardly."

"Cregan," she began, trying to ignore the way the pup cuddled into her for warmth. "You have saved me time and time again. Without you, I would be in some brothel, or maimed by a man without heart, or…" her voice faltered, "Paraded through King's Landing as a true war prize. But I am not. I'm your wife instead. That is a fate I did not deserve."

"But I failed you. I promised to protect you, but I find that I cannot do that as well as I had hoped. This war was hard on my people. While I cannot fault them for their anger, it is wrong to use it on their Lady of Winterfell." His voice grew persistent. "You are mine. You are no Hightower anymore. You and I both know that."

She nodded and began to pet the wolf. "I pray that the North does one day."

"They will," he confirmed. "I shall make them if I must."

"I just don't want to be stuck in this room anymore. These walls are driving me mad," she admitted.

He sighed. "I'm sure they are. But soon you shall have a protector for when I cannot be there." He leaned down at pet the small pup on her lap. "This too will pass eventually."

"Once I give you an heir?"

"Once we have a child," he corrected, "I'm sure they shall be lighter on you."

"And until then?"

He smiled sweetly, "I'll do all I can. Now." He brushed hair from her face. "Please say you like it," he said as he looked down at the pup.

Only then did she let herself truly consider that she now had a dire wolf. "It's beautiful. I just…"

He held a finger up, "Enough of that. I promise you that I and this pup will not let another hand touch you."

She flushed lightly and smiled. "Thank you. I do not say that enough."

He shrugged. "You do, it just usually looks like other things instead."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he looked down at her dress, "wearing the dress that I had made for you is a thank you in and of itself. Blue suits you well. I could name things for all eternity. You are a perfect wife. And I admire you greatly."

"You've only known me seven moons."

"And that is seven moons enough to know."

"Cregan, I am a trophy of your accomplishments."

"You are hardly that."

She sighed, "But that is what they see me as."

"Do I?"

She considered his question. "I don't believe so."

"Then does it matter? I respect you, and with time, I will make sure they do as well."

She nodded and adjusted the dog in her arms. "Very well. I trust you."

He smiled and stood. "That's all I ask for. Now, name your pup and dress for supper. I'll come collect you myself. Is that alright?"

She nodded again.

"The North will like you," he left off with as he closed the door behind him.

She heard the lock behind him.

In time.

Either they learn to like her, or they shall meet a Stark dire wolf closely.

The actual dire wolf or Cregan Stark, it didn't matter.

Their jaws would both equally snap at any threat.

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Taglist: @twinkletwinklenotastar, @kidd3ath,@yujyujj, @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia, @ashovertheriver,

#fanfiction #cregan stark x reader #game of thrones x reader #cregan stark x you #house of the dragon fanfiction #house of the dragon #cregan stark x y/n #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones fanfiction #game of thrones x y/n #game of thrones fic #house of the dragon fanfic #cregan stark imagine #cregan stark #cregan x reader #hotd cregan #cregan fanfiction #cregan stark x targaryen!reader #cregan stark x female reader

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yuuuhiii · 1 day

Text

dirty little secret ᡣ𐭩

sum : Satoru has always been popular. With his good-looking face and eccentric personality, it was no wonder. He's every girls dream guy, whether that be for a quick fuck or lover. However, amidst a game of seven minutes in heaven you find out his dirty little secret and use it against him.

includes : 5.8k words, SMUT! (minors go away.) , sub!satoru x dom!reader, reader is kinda mean…, enemies?? to lovers, situationship, loss of virginity, heavy miscommunication, maybe ooc Satoru?, college au, alcohol usage

Satoru was always the talk of your college's campus. They were always about the same thing.

"I heard he has a big dick and knows how to use it."

"I heard he has girls cumming in seconds."

It was honestly tiring to hear every single time you'd sit in your lecture. Did anyone ever have anything else to talk about.

You never liked him.

It's not like he ever did anything to you or said anything. You guys had never interacted actually. You just hated how popular he was and how everyone seemed to be obsessed with him.

Yea he was hot but so was his best friend so what made Satoru so special.

You were never popular, you'd say you were actually pretty irrelevant, but you never minded that. You liked your peaceful and somewhat lonely life.

You were never one for parties but one of your friends. More like your only friend, begged you to come. You had only agreed because when there's a party there's alcohol.

And who didn't love to drink a little and let loose.

The party was honestly less than disappointing. That could just be your opinion though, you loved to judge what could you say.

It was funnier the more you thought of it. Just a bunch of horny college kids in someone's house with wack ass lights and a stupid playlist. You never got the appeal but hey you were here so.

However never in a million years would you think literal adults would be playing seven minutes in heaven. The worst part was you were one of the adults in the circle. You had lost a game with your friend, so this was the outcome.

Now as you sit in the circle with a fat frown on your face, it deepens when you realize Satoru and his best friend are in the circle.

What were the odds you would land seven minutes in a stupid cramped closet with him. You'd say zero but—

shit.

Satoru locks eyes with you and blinks. No cheeky smile that he'd give every other girl, just a blank stare and flushed cheeks which you assumed was from the alcohol. The other girls in the circle whine and you roll your eyes, standing up and grabbing his wrist, dragging him in the closet.

"Don't have to much fun!" Suguru says as he locks the door.

It's quiet. Very quiet.

And dark.

You can barely see your clothes and even your hands. Ironically you can feel Satoru burning holes into your face.

"Stop staring." You grumble. He jumps and looks at his hands.

"Sorry." He mumbles.

Ok...weird? Why wasn't he making advances on you? Did he not find you attractive?

The thought of that has you rolling your eyes. It's not like you cared about what he thought but he surely wasn't living up to ‘his name’.

"You're not gonna do anything?" You break the silence, and he perks up.

"Hm?" He blinks and you shift on your feet.

"Nothing, it's just a little shocking. Thought you'd be trying to get in my pants by now." You laugh and he purses his lips.

"What do you mean?"

This guy.

"Oh, come on don't play stupid. You know what I mean." You cross your arms.

He blinks.

“You sleep with like every girl on campus!” You swing your hands and he messes with his hands. He awkwardly laughs and you are beyond confused right now.

“I-I’m a virgin.” He mumbles.

No.

Fucking.

Way.

You burst out laughing but quiet down as he just stands there.

“Wait. You’re serious?”

His silence has your jaw almost on the floor.

“Oh my god!” You laugh in amusement.

“It’s all a lie.” You laugh again and his brows pull together.

“N-No. I mean I make out with girls but I just don’t sleep with them.” He crosses his arms, tired of your humiliation.

“Yea but these girls think you’re like some sex god.” You smirk and he huffs.

“I wonder what everyone would say when they find out you’re a virgin.” You tap on your lips and he gasps.

“You wouldn’t.” He straightens up.

“Oh but I would.” You grin and he’s sweating bullets.

“I-I’ll do anything!” He pleads and your eyes widen in surprise.

You would be lying if you said having the most popular guy on campus like this wasn’t exciting for you.

“Anything?” You say slyly and he nods immediately.

Your mind is filled with lewd thoughts of him. Having this obnoxious confident boy begging at your feet had you riled up.

“So all of it’s an act huh?” You bite your lip, trying to hide your smile.

“This is gonna be fun.” You look at him and his heart skips a beat.

“Alright! Times up losers!” Suguru says as he opens the door.

He’s confused to see you both looking the same as when you entered. You push off the wall with a smirk but Satoru grabs your wrist.

“A-Are you gonna text me?” He looks so pathetic.

You look him up and down.

“I’ll see you soon.” You feign innocence and push past Suguru.

“Dude, what happened?” Suguru blinks between your retreating figure and Satoru.

“I think I missed up.” He runs a hand through his hair.

Satoru has been on edge this whole week. He’s so paranoid, you haven’t even texted him or anything.

Would you go back on your word?

You wouldn’t right?

Did you not wanna see him anymore?

He jumps when a buzz from his phone goes off. It’s a text from you saying to open the door and his eyes widen.

He flys out of his room and goes to open his door. It’s dead in the night and you’re standing there with a monotone look on your face.

“Uh, hi.” He mumbles and you look up at him, a smile rising to your face.

“Can I come in?” You blink and he opens the door, shuffling to the side.

He’s in grey sweatpants and a loose black shirt, his pale hair shooting everywhere.

“So, uh, why’re you here.” He’s messing with his hands, something you noticed he does when he’s nervous.

“I just finished studying and I couldn’t sleep so.” You drift off, looking around.

“Wanna have some fun?” You say with a mischievous glint in your eye.

“Fun..?” He gulps and you step closer to him.

“Mhm.” You hum, gliding your finger up his arm. His breathing is uneven, you catch on and you bite your lip.

“Only if you wanna of course.” You look around and he nods.

“Words.” You snap your eyes back to him.

“Yea, that’s fine.” He nods, a blush forming on his face.

Your arms fly to wrap his neck, pulling him into a kiss. He freezes for a second but then he’s kissing you back. His hands joining at your waist.

He was a good kisser at least but this only made you more curious to know just how far he’s gone.

You swipe your tongue over his mouth and he gives you entry. Your tongue wastes no time in meddling with his. He groans when your tongue flattens against his, his hands tightening on your waist. You pull away with a smile and his eyes are cloudy.

“Wanna go to your room?” He nods dumbly, leading you to his room.

It’s a little messy but pretty minimalistic at that.

“Are you always this nervous?” You blink up at him and he shuffles.

“No? I’m usually drunk when I’m making out with girls so.” He nods and you hum.

He looks small as he sits on his bed, fidgeting with his hands again. You feel a little bad.

“We don’t have to do anything.” You say and his eyes snaps towards you.

“No! I-I want to.” He licks his lips and you grin.

“Ok!” You hum, standing up and sitting yourself on his lap.

His breath hitches but before he can collect himself your lips are on his. His eyes flutter closed as your tongue dominates his, his hands rub along the small of your back, pulling you closer to him.

One of your hands drag down his chest, resting on his stomach. He stutters and you bite his lip making him moan. You pull away grinning at his now red puffy bottom lip.

“Wanna take these off?” You pull at his sweats and he gives you a meek nod. He wiggles them off and you palm him through his boxers. He hisses, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Have you ever been touched like this? Hm?” He shakes his head no and mindlessly squeeze your thighs together.

“How come?” You squeeze him and he lets out a whine, pre cum staining his boxers.

“I-I don’t know.” He breathes out and you kiss his tip through his underwear, his pupils are blown as he stares at you.

“That’s it? You don’t know?” You mumble as you pull down his boxers, his cock slapping against his stomach.

“How come someone knows your dick is big then.” You cock your head to the side, pumping him. He whimpers with his lip tugged between his teeth.

“Y—You—fuck—think I’m big?” His doe eyes boring into yours. You let him go and he whines.

“Answer my question.”

“S-Some girl groped me, I think.”

Your eyes darken.

“So you lied?” Your hand stops.

“N-No! I’m sorry don’t stop.” He moans, grabbing your hand and placing it on his cock.

“I told you I get drunk so I…don’t remember.” He sighs when your thumb glides along his slit.

“Hm.” You seem displeased and he gulps.

“Are you mad?” He breathes heavily and you shake your head. Your tongue gliding along the base of his cock.

“Oh fuck.” He moans. You finally take him in your mouth and he’s whining.

“So warm.” He rests on his elbows, not wanting to miss even a second of this.

You stare up at him and you feel his cock twitch, making your lips twitch upwards. You set a steady pace and jerk whatever you couldn’t fit in your mouth.

“Yes—yes.” He chants, shaking as he lifts a hand to move hair out of your face. You remove your hand and take the rest of him, his tip hitting the back of your throat.

“I’m cumming!” He yells, his legs shaking as his load shoots down your throat.

He’s moaning and panting as his high rushes over. You pull off with a pop but your hand keeps jerking him.

“N-No, s’to much.” He whimpers, too weak to stop you.

“You don’t want anyone to know right?” He shakes his head, not fully understanding what you said.

“Then take it and shut up.” You say and he whines.

You’re sucking his tip and he’s only letting out whimpers at this point. His eyes water, his balls tightening again.

“I’m gonna fucking cum.” He sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Your hand squeeze his balls and his mouth falls open but no noise comes out. You swallow all he gives you, even though it’s less this time. His white hair sticks to his forehead as he takes big gulps of air.

You pepper kisses on his thighs, making him jump when you suck a mark. You pull his boxers back up and he’s still in the same position. His mind fucked because of the mind blowing orgasm you just gave him. You wipe his lash line for any stray tears and he stares at you fondly.

“That was, amazing.” He huffs out and you laugh.

“Whatever I’ll see you later.” You peck his cheek and he flys up.

“You’re leaving?” He stares at you, you hate how he looks at you with doe eyes. Your stomach fluttering at the sight. He’s like a puppy.

“Um yea? It’s late.”

He looks down.

“Right. Will I see you again?” He peers up at you with hope pooling in his eyes. You narrow your eyes but smile.

“Maybe.” You say leaving his room, leaving him to dwell on what just happened.

For the rest of the week you don’t stop by but Satoru can’t keep you off his mind. He sees you around campus but all you do is send him a flirty look and smile as you walk away with your friends. He wants to talk to you but he’s not sure if you’d like that.

Would you be mad if he tried to go up and talk to you?

Did you only want things to be a secret?

What if you stopped seeing him?

Wait.

He was only doing this so you wouldn’t tell anyone his secret. At least that’s what he’d tell himself.

The next time you come over is a night when there’s supposed to be a party. He’s getting ready to leave but when he opens the door you’re there, Satoru and Suguru’s eyes widening.

“Y/n? What’re you doing here?” He blinks, his cheeks growing red.

Suguru looks amused and with a laugh he’s out the door.

“Hey, wait!” He goes to follow him but you catch his arm.

“You’re not going.” You say calmly and he’s confused.

“Huh? Why not?”

“Because I don’t want you to?” You say and you pull him into his apartment.

“Why do you wanna go? So you can make out with some random bitch? Or what, get your dick sucked?” You raise a brow and he pouts.

“Well, I didn’t know you were coming…I thought you ghosted me!” He points a finger at you and you laugh.

“Ghost you?” You look amused.

“Well, yes. You don’t talk to me or anything so.” You tilt your head.

“I won’t taint your reputation? It won’t be weird if you’re seen talking to me?” You grin and he’s puzzled.

“No…? Why does that matter?” His words make you freeze but you don’t let them affect you that much.

Hopefully he didn’t catch what he said because that basically contradicts this whole situation.

“Whatever, come on.” You drag him to his room but he stops you.

“Wait!” You face him and he glances away shyly.

“What?” You look at him skeptically.

“I…wanna make you feel good.” He says.

“I obviously don’t know how but I wanna try.” He looks at you and you bite your lip.

“Yea? You wanna make me feel good?” You smirk, stepping closer to him. You grab his hand.

“Where? Here?” You place his hand on your clothed cunt and he gulps. His adams apple bobbing.

“Y-Yea, there.”

“Mk, show me what you got.” You smile and he does too, eager to please you. He’s a little to happy when you lay down on his bed.

“Someone’s excited.” He pauses, blinking.

You roll your eyes.

“It’s cute.” He blushes and doesn’t say anything letting his lips connect with yours.

He doesn’t spend much time on your lips and leads kisses down your neck, making your breath hitch. He’s giddy, wanting to pull more noises out of you. His hands slip under your shirt, slowly sliding them up and grabbing your breasts.

“Pervert.” You gasp and he smiles.

“Can I take it off?” You nod and he helps you, throwing it behind him.

He scatters pecks all over your breasts, pushing your bra down and you unclasp it. He licks his lips before he takes your nipple in his mouth sucking and licking at it aggressively. Your hands tangle in his hair and he groans against your nipple, moving to your other one.

After teasing them he’s moving down until he reaches your pants. He looks up waiting for your approval and you nod. He unbuttons them and lets you slide them off. He’s met with your white panties, a bow right in the middle. But he stops and looks at you again.

“What’s wrong?” You ask and he gulps.

“C-Can you sit on my face.” He bites his lip. You blush to but try to hide it with your smile.

“You’re a freak you know that?” But you tug him up on his bed. He stares up at you as you remove your panties. His arms wrap around your thighs and he kisses your them, placing a kiss right on your slit.

Only then do you realize he’s mirroring your actions from when you gave him head and you smile. His eyes lock on to your pussy and you’re glistening and fuck he’s so hard. He lays his tongue flat against your cunt and you whine.

Then hell breaks loose.

He pulls you down and slurps you up like a mad man. His head moving side to side for more friction.

“Fuck, just like that ‘Toru.” You moan and he groans at the nickname.

He sucks on your clit and you tug at his hair, making him eat you faster. He inserts his tongue finger inside your gaping hole, loving the way it sucks him in. You gasp and he’s fucking you with his tongue.

“Oh my god.” You whine, pulling at his hair and grinding down on his face. He groans and the vibrations only stimulate you more.

“Gonna cum, keep going.” You pant, riding his face faster as he smothers his mouth with your pussy.

He pulls out his tongue and sucks your clit sending you off the edge. You whine loudly as you ride his face, holding his headboard for stability. Satoru slurps up everything you give him, kissing your thighs when you come down from your high.

You slide off of him, right on to his hard cock. He sits up, wiping his mouth.

“Did I do good?” He asks, massaging your thighs.

You hum, your head a little clouded as you rest your face on his shoulder. His stomach is doing back flips at your acknowledgment.

“You can sleep here if you want. You look tired.” He mumbles in your ear and you agree.

He places you on his bed gently as he gets up to find your panties. Once he gets them he stares at them.

“Uh, do you want boxers, they’re soaked.” You pout, as a blush rises to your cheeks.

“Depends, do they have skid marks.” His mouth drops in disgust.

“Ew!” He looks mortified and you laugh.

“I’ll take some you idiot.”

He grumbles as he goes and fetches some from his drawer. He slides them on you and plops down next to you. You both are laid on your back and he’s nervous. Tapping his fingers against his chest.

“Stop fidgeting.” You turn towards him and he stops.

He steals a glance at you but your eyes are closed, soft snores leaving you. He smiles softly, lights pushing hair behind your ear. He’s turns to you now, placing his chin on top of your head.

Your eyes blink open to a white fluff of hair, making you groan. You swipe it out of your face and look around you. Satoru’s arms are wrapped around you, hugging you close to him.

He’s sound asleep, his long white lashes resting on the apple of his cheeks. He really was handsome, ethereal even and that has you wondering on what the fuck you were doing.

You claimed to hate this man, but here you are in his arms and in his bed.

You never thought of yourself as a good person but not a bad one either, just mediocre. It didn’t really matter though, why should you care about his feelings. He only cares about his reputation plus he’s probably over the moon to have a girl he can fuck around with.

You’re using him and he’s using you too. You know after all this he’ll just show what he learned to whatever girl that falls at his feet. And actually, finally, live up to his stupid reputation.

You sigh and detach yourself from him. You slip out of his boxers and put your panties on along with your pants. You slip on your shoes and give him one last look before you’re tiptoeing to the front door.

“Had fun?” You freeze, you didn’t notice Suguru standing against the kitchen counter with a mug in his hands.

“There’s coffee if you want some.” He nods his head and you eye him, looking at the door again.

“I’m good.” You say reaching for the door knob.

“He likes you y’know, has for a while now.”

Your stomach churns.

What?

You turn to him but he’s already looking at you. He laughs at your face, shaking his head.

“That’s the only reason why he’s nervous, letting you do things with him, he doesn’t care for the reputation, he’s using it as an excuse to be with you.” Suguru looks you dead in the eye.

Well, that kinda makes sense for how he acted.

“So if you don’t like him let him down easy yea?” Suguru smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. You nod and finally open the door and leave.

What the fuck were you gonna do now.

You avoided Satoru like a plague, you didn’t look at him like you used to and you didn’t show up anymore.

Did he do something wrong?

Was it too far to have you sleepover?

Were you finally tired of him?

Satoru was sad and it hurt Suguru to see him like this. He didn’t even wanna go to parties anymore so Suguru takes it in his own hands talk to you. So when you’re walking with your friend, he appears in front of you.

“We gotta talk.” He doesn’t even let you say no because he’s pulling you away.

“Let go!” You rip your hand away from him and he stares at you angrily.

“What the fuck are you doing avoiding Satoru.”

Shit.

“I told you how he felt so you wouldn’t hurt him and you’re hurting him.”

You scoff.

“Oh please. He’ll find someone else soon enough.”

“Fuck off, that’s a lie and you know that.” He spits back.

You are.

You were too guilty to face Satoru. What were you gonna say.

‘Hey I know you like me but I was just using you for my selfish desires!’

That was only partly true. Because despite the ‘sex’ you’d catch yourself staring longer than you should’ve been, admiring his stupid face and loving his flushed cheeks.

“How does he even like me! We never talked once!” You throw your hands up.

“How should I know? He just came back to the apartment one day and wouldn’t stop talking about you.”

Your brows furrow as you glance at the ground.

“I don’t think I’m good for him, my intentions weren’t good. So how do you expect me to face him.” You mumble.

“Then tell him that. Stop being a bitch and avoiding him, we’re not kids. You’re a fucking adult so communicate your feelings.” Your eyes snap up to him.

“That’s rich coming from you. He hasn’t even told me how he felt!”

Suguru sighs, rubbing at his eyes.

“Gosh you women are so fucking complicated. Just talk to him.”

Is the last thing he says before he leaves. You chew at your lip and sigh. He was right, you did need to talk to him.

The next day, you knock on his door. When he opens it his eyes widen.

“Y/n?” His eyes are full again, bright and shining.

“Can we talk.” You mutter and he nods, letting you in.

“Look I’m sorry if last time was to far, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He rambles and you sigh.

“Satoru, you didn’t do anything.” You say but he cuts you off.

“Toru.” He says.

“What?”

“You called me Toru last time. So it’s Toru.”

You sigh.

“Satoru—”

His eyes are pleading.

“Toru… I know you like me. And I feel like shit because, well I didn’t know and I was just doing stuff with you because it got me riled up. I guess. So I avoided you.” You glance at the floor and he’s quiet. You look up at him and he has a small smile.

“I got you riled up?”

Your dumbfounded.

“This is serious. I was just using you. I-I’m sorry.”

He takes a step closer to you.

“You don’t…feel anything for me? Like besides the sex? Or whatever we were doing.” He gazes down at you.

“I’m gonna be honest. I used to not like you. I thought you were just some selfish popular prick but turns out I was just the selfish prick.” You grumble.

“But what about now. What do you think of me now.” He pushes and you flush up.

“Well you’re stupidly pretty. And funny. I like how timid you are around me, it makes me feel good. But that’s just me being a selfish. You’re kind though. Despite me treating you like shit. You’re still patient.”

He smiles.

“I forgive you.” He says and you look up at him.

“W-What? No. You should hate me.” You shake your head and he pouts.

“Why?”

“Because I treated you bad Toru.”

“Well, I lied to you. I said I cared about my reputation but that wasn’t true.”

“That isn’t merely as bad as what I did.” You deadpan.

“But I still like you.”

“Why?” You couldn’t understand.

“Because you’re stupidly pretty. You’re funny to and I love your smile and laugh. I like when you praise me but that might just be because I have a big fat crush on you.” He laughs and you smile at him copying you.

“I-I like you a lot and as bad as it is. I was too much of a pussy to tell you how I felt so I let you use me.”

You pout.

“We’re stupid.” You laugh and he smiles.

“Yea. We are.”

It’s silent but in no way awkward.

“Y/n?”

You glance up at him.

“Yea?”

“Can you take my virginity.” His eyes are lidded and your jaw drops.

“W-What? Toru no. I don’t know if—”

He stops you with his hands resting on your waist.

“Please. I wanna lose it to you.” He pleads, moving some hair behind your ear.

You chew at your lip, glancing around his apartment.

“Are—you sure.” You gaze up at him and he rests his forehead on yours.

“I’m reallyyy sure.” He smiles and you smile too. He peck your lips and leads you to his room.

He doesn’t seem nervous like all the other times but happy. He’s smiley when he kisses you and playful with his hands.

It doesn’t take long for you both to be bare and he’s showering you with kisses. You’re on top of him at the moment but he flips you over, his arms resting beside your head.

“You’re gonna have to coach me through this.” He laughs and you smile.

“Well I thought I was gonna do the work.” You snort and he shakes his head.

“I wanna make you feel good. Making you feel good makes me feel good.” He smiles and you peck his cheek.

“Well I mean there’s not much to it. You just put it in and fuck me.” You shrug and he narrows his eyes.

“Hm. Okay then. There’s no tips and tricks?” He purses his lips and you grin.

“That’s for you to find out.” He laughs, pumping himself, his smile fades and his face morphs into worry.

“Do you have a condom?” You blink.

“Uh, no? I didn’t really think this was how my night was gonna go.” He bites his lip, rubbing your hips.

“Maybe Suguru has some.” He ponders.

“I’m on the pill.” You mutter and he gazes at you.

“So I can like, cum inside you?”

“Well I mean it’s safer if you don’t but considering you’re a virgin I don’t think your pull out game will be strong.”

“Is that a challenge?” He grins and you laugh at his stupidity.

“No, Toru it’s a fact.” He still takes it as a challenge though. So when he goes back to jerking himself a bit, he rubs his member along your slick. He’s already moaning.

“Feels good.” He stutters, his tip teasing your hole.

“Put it in Toru.” You whine and he licks his lips, pushing his length inside you.

“So impatient—Oh fuck.” He groans, his hands gripping your thighs harshly. You moan at his size and he’s breathless.

“So warm—ngh—and tight.” He whimpers. He was gonna blow his fucking load if he didn’t calm himself down. He pulls back and gives an experimental thrust.

The both of you moaning.

“Shit, pussy so good.” He whispers. You wrap your legs around his waist.

“Move, Toru.”

So he does. With his hands moving to your hips he gives you no time as he’s fucking into you hard and fast.

“Mm, you feel so fucking good.” He’s biting his lip so hard, it’s a wonder how it’s not bleeding.

He’s so long and veiny you feel him so deep with every thrust. His tip continuously kissing your cervix.

“Fuck! Slow down!” You yelp, his hips snapping against yours.

“Can’t! It’s to good, to good.” He moans so prettily.

He’s getting desperate and pussy drunk. Without missing a beat he leans down to press messy kisses on your neck. He sucks bruises on them and some on your breasts.

“Toru.” You whine and he’s man handling you at this point.

Using the mattress as leverage to fuck you faster. You don’t know how he’s moving so fast and rolling his hips so good but you’re gripping his sheets, dragging your nails on his back. He groans at this, his hair sticking to his forehead.

“I’m gonna cum, fuck I’m gonna cum.” He repeats. His mind is already lost, the only thing he can think of is how fucking tight and warm you are.

“Cum with me baby please.” He whines in your ear, moving a hand down to flick your clit at a rapid speed. Your moans ring out through his ears, the way you writhe under him drives him fucking crazy.

“Fuck, you’re getting tighter.” He gasps, his legs shaking. He feels your walls flutter around him, your guys orgasm crashing down on the both of you.

“Cumming!” He throws his head back, his eyes rolling as he fucks his seed deep in you. You’re both gasping as you try to calm down. But with a squeeze of your cunt, he’s rutting into you again.

“Fuck! S-Satoru wait!” You moan, trying to get his hips from abusing your poor cunny.

“M’sorry, s’good.” He’s slurring, he’s fucked out and addicted. Nothing but guttural moans leave his mouth. Breathless whines of your name as tears well up in his eyes.

“S’tight.” He babbles, his tears falling onto your cheeks.

You’re both moaning so loud as he pushes your knees to your chest. The new position has you screaming as the coil in your belly snaps again. Satoru lets out a sob, his cock reaching deeper inside you with this new angle.

He doesn’t say anything when he finishes inside you again. His orgasm rakes through his whole body as he hunches over you. Pathetic moans leave his mouth as he holds you close to him, emptying all of him inside you.

He hiccups as he falls on top of you. His forehead resting on your shoulder as you both catch your breath.

He leans up and kisses you. His tongue connecting with yours. He moans in your mouth, pulling out of you and letting both of your juices spill out of you.

A string of saliva connects both your mouths when he pulls away. He rolls off of you, the both of your guys minds still fuzzy.

“I’m gonna use the restroom.” You mumble, your mind not quite all there. He looks at you in a daze.

“Let me help you. I have to clean you don’t I?” He holds your hand and you smile.

“Yea, that would feel better.” You huff out a laugh and he slides off the bed. His legs a little shaky. He grabs a random shirt, cautiously wiping you down.

“Here.” He places a shirt on you, his scent engulfing you. He throws on his boxers and picks you up.

“H-Hey!” You yelp your arms shooting around his neck. He smiles down at you, opening his door.

When he’s on his way to the bathroom, Suguru walks in the through the front door. All of you freezing, caught like a deer in headlights. Suguru blinks and you shove your face in Satrou’s chest.

“I’m guessing you guys did more than talk?” Suguru laughs.

“Mhm!” Satoru nods his head and your cheeks warm.

“Toru.” You whisper and he perks up.

“Shit. Sorry.” He waddles to the bathroom. He places you down and quickly leaves to let you do your thing.

“Let me know if you need help.” He says and you shake your head with a laugh. Satoru turns around and narrows his eyes.

“You! Go in your room or something.” He shoos at Suguru and they both glare at each other.

“This is my apartment too!” He whisper yells back.

“I can hear you guys.” You say from behind the door and they both straighten up.

Suguru glares at Satoru again before he goes in his room. You open the door and Satoru smiles. He grabs your hand and walks you back into his room.

“I’d offer to shower with you but I think I’d probably fuck you again.” He laughs and you playfully roll your eyes.

He pulls back his sheets and opens his arms for you to join him. You slide under with him and he’s pulling you flush against him. Your hands tangle in his hair as he shoves his face in the crook of your neck.

“How’s it feel to not be a virgin anymore.” You grin and he bites your neck.

“Ow!” You pout and he smiles against your skin.

“Amazing. I’d say let’s go for another round.” You whine at his words.

“I think I’d pass out.” You both laugh.

“We did this completely backwards.” He mumbles against your skin.

“I wanted to take you out on a nice cute date and see you dressed up all pretty as we shared our first kiss.” You laugh at his words.

“You had it all planned out hm?” He smiles, nodding.

“Of course. But I’ll take you out tomorrow and still kiss you and then ask you to be mine.” He sighs.

“You’re cute.” You smile, pecking his head.

“Would you say yes?”

He asks and you let out a long hum. He pinches your waist and you laugh. His smile growing wider at the sound.

“Of course I would you dummy.” Your hand glides along his soft hair.

“Good because I’d probably get on my knees and beg.”

“Oh?” You say seductively and he laughs.

“And you say I’m the pervert.”

You guys talk for hours in each other’s arms. Turns out Satoru had two secrets. But none of it mattered now.

He wasn’t a virgin anymore. And he was finally dating the girl he had a big fat crush on.

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