#i dont care u used to work here maybe try being a nice person next time

[teendirt-agebag]

if ur a man and are thinking of saying something to me while im at work: dont.

[ateezthings]

Hiiii

Can u do a non idol strangers to lovers scenario for san or seonghwa (or honestly whoever u want) pls🤠❤️

And also dont listen to ur boss ur writing is amazing

A painful meet-cute

Pairings: non-idol!San x genderneutral reader

Warnings: reader getting hurt by accident, blood, medication, San being a slight asshole in the beginning

Word count: 1,4k

Songs to listen to while reading:

cxlt., nuver – rays of light

gibran alcocer – idea 22 (sped up)

amistat – keep your head up

pvris – anywhere but here

the native - time

It was still light out, when you left the office at 8 pm. The sun had been shining all day, so the air was warm, a light breeze dancing through the streets. Some would say it was the perfect summer day.

You had a very stressful day at work, rushing from one meeting to the next. You barely had time for a bathroom break or getting something to drink. It seemed every single coworker had a task for you. Needless to say, you felt drained and in dire need of some food and relaxation.

As you slowly dragged your feet towards the train station, people passed you by, most of them smiling and talking to their friends. What were they so happy about? For you, life recently was simply getting ready for work, working, or getting home from work. These people however seemed to just be enjoying the nice summer evening.

Maybe that was the problem, maybe you should do things again outside of work, that made you enjoy life again. As you boarded the train you couldn’t think of anything that you wanted to do, so you decided to just take a walk along the river. That used to calm you down a few years ago.

Watching the blueish-greyish body of water helped you relax a lot in a short period of time. You watched couples having  picknicks on the grass, people taking their dogs for walks, some were even working out. As you walked along the river you racked your brain for activities you used to enjoy: Reading, going to cute cafes, dancing, meeting friends for boba. All of it lost its appeal when you thought about doing it. You hadn’t realized how grey and dull your life had become.

It was time to make a change. But how could you go about it, when work took up such a big part of your day?

You didn’t have time to ponder any longer, as a strong force suddenly knocked you down, making you fall over, face first. You were so surprised, you didn’t have time to stop the fall. Next thing you knew your nose was being squished on the ground. A throbbing pain started to spread from the center of your face.

“Ow, fuck” You tried to lift yourself up into a seated position.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, are you okay?” When you looked up to where the voice came from, you were met with dark, wide-open eyes. The person was wearing a hat and a black mask.  

“Obviously not, idiot, watch where you’re going, man” You felt hot liquid running down your face. Of course this had to happen to you. Perfect end to the perfect day.

“I’m really really sorry, my friend and I were trying to see who could run faster, and I totally didn’t see you… Shit, your nose is really bleeding”. The guy reached his hand out to you.

With one motion you slapped his hand away. “No need, I can take care of myself”

You got up, careful not to let any blood drop onto your shirt and got a tissue out of your bag. You pressed it into your nostrils. The tissue was full of blood, when you looked at it.

“Listen, I again am so sorry, for running into you like that, but I’m kind of in a hurry, will you be okay?” You picked up genuine regret from the tone of their voice, you couldn’t believe the audacity though. “Ugh, whatever, just go back to where you came from.” And he did.

For the first time, you lifted your gaze to see who the person was. He looked like a modern day ninja, wearing black workout clothes under baggy shorts. There was no telling who he was, as he was already turned away from you and about 20 feet in front of you. He had a broad back though, you had to give him that. Why were all hot people jerks?

…

The next day, you went to the doctor to get your nose checked. It was still throbbing and you were in pain. It turned out to be only a bruise and you should be fine in a few weeks. The doctor gave you a prescription for some pain killers. When you went to the pharmacy to get them, there was a long line of people in front of you. Great, as if you hadn’t already suffered enough.

Alas, you stood in the queue as there was nothing else to do. You scrolled through Instagram for a while. Somehow you were getting a lot of depressed but relatable millennial content on your feed. Times like these really made you scared if social media apps could somehow read your thoughts. No, don’t keep thinking about that brain, can’t go into full existential crisis mode.

Finally, it was your turn to talk to the pharmacist and you handed her your prescription. She looked at it for a while and pressed a few keys on her keyboard. Then she turned to look at you. “I’m really sorry, but it seemed we currently don’t have the exact ones you’ve been prescribed. Can I get you different ones? They’re not as strong as the original ones, but we currently don’t have any other pain killers.”

After you paid for your lower level pain killers you rushed to get out of there. What you didn’t expect was the tall man standing right around the corner, deeply immersed in his phone. You almost ran into him, but were able to stop before anything bad happened. He, however dropped his phone and a little box in surprise.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t see you there” As you apologized, you looked him in the eyes. Those eyes seemed kind of familiar. Yeah, you had seen them before. It took a second before you realized that those were the eyes of the person who ran into you last night. “It’s you…”

Before you could think of what to say, your phone started ringing. You rushed to pick up the call, it was your boss. “Hello? Is everything alright?” Your boss told you that there had been a series of emergency e-mails being sent to your whole department by one of your most important clients. They couldn’t reach you but had an ‘urgent matter’ to discuss with you. And apparently an ‘urgent matter’ couldn’t wait another hour for you to get back from your doctor’s appointment.

You groaned as you hung up. The mystery man, you almost ran into a few moments ago, was gone. You looked around for him, but found only the little box on the floor he had dropped earlier. It was the exact brand of pain killers your doctor had prescribed you.

…

A little sweet treat after dinner was a non-negotiable to you. So while you browsed the candy isle at the nearest convenience store, you couldn’t decide on just one treat. With your basket of sugary heaven you made your way to the cashier. There was only one person in front of you.

“Oh no, I think I left my wallet and card at home” You heard the person in front of you say.

“Well, then how do you intend to pay?” The cashier person retorted. There were just two vitamin drinks on the scanning table.

You immediately felt sorry for him. You had once been in that situation and it was so awkward and uncomfortable. Back then no one helped you and you were forced to return your items, leaving you with no sweet treat after a hard day’s work.

“I’ll pay for that.” You moved to the front, putting your stuff on the table for the cashier to scan. You noticed the person in front of you staring at you and your enormous amount of candy. You couldn’t care less though, seeing as they were depended on you in this situation. After paying, you put your yield in your bag and made your way towards the exit.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do that” It was the guy for whom you had just paid for.

“Oh, don’t mention it, I was in that same situation a few weeks ago and no one was there to help me so I was happy to help.”

It was only after you both had exited the store that you looked at him properly. You saw the same broad shoulders, same dark eyes, same black mask on his face. “It’s you again?...”

“Hey, I’m San” He pulled down his face mask, giving you a smile, that sent waves of warmth through your entire body.

...

[pluto-projectorrr]

Hi tumblr, let me give this page kind of a little note. Perhaps sometime i'll re-read this note.

2022 such an amazeeeng year, actually. So much lesson i earn that year and yes, it maybe same for next day or maybe i'll modify or have a new pov, so dynamic.

First, every destiny is good, even we need time to realized it. Like i mention before, that year i moved to small city near forest and lake. It takes more than 12 hours to reach provincial capital. Tbh this place good for vacation like 2-7 days, but u'll get boring so i felt it. Until i realize that is not so bad. I feel more alive here, no more overtime and no more impromptu task. I have time for myself, reading, writing, or do sport. I was thinking, it's litterally such on Quran 2:216, maybe u don't like it, but it's good for u, yes, He knows, always.

Second, there is out there we can't control. We have plan, but it doesn't work, we need to accept it, fast or slow, may God help us. Someone left me that year which is good for both of us. At first, so many question in my head, but i choose not to search that answer. For some case, ignorance is bliss. I remember the wise word, from Al Ghazali: what is destined for u, it will be urs even if it is under two mountains, and what it is not urs, u'll not get it even if it is already between ur lips.

Third, for some case, telling ur boundaries and telling ur intentions will save both of u. Several months ago, i know that beautiful lady, look like good girl, with adorable character. We know each other, like yea just know actually, not like "know" each other. How i explain it? So, i try to confess with her, her reaction is good, but yeah nice try, is okay. Couple weeks later, there is someone who i think, likes me (tbh i dont know if she try to reach me or what, but many friends and people around us told me that she is likes me). For beginning, she asked me about work-things, and i don't know, i just respond usually, like other friend ask me. But, maybe she think i interested to her as couple, but no. Sorry if i hurt u. One of my friend said, "way, u r so kind, too friendly, maybe if we have a same age or u r older than me, i'll fall in love with u", oh i got the point. I'll not change my personality, but i'll set boundaries. I feel sorry for the broken lady, but it give me lesson, so thank you.

Fourth, being surrounding positivity is sooooo f powerful. This lesson i take from the lady i adore couple months ago. She is always look happy, even i know she's not. Do u realized, our world full of complaining, in real life our co-worker complain, in social media (especially twitter) full of complain, so much people think this is the bad life but actually there is only bad day. Complaining is natural, is humanist. I did several times, but rarely right now (haha). If some sh*t happen to me, i'll try to see from other side or being positive thinking like 'it must be good for me, maybe later i realize it'. Afterthat, i feel more relieved. So i just live it. Remembering Kartini's word: it is better to seek the light than to curse the darkness.

Fifth, myself is more more more important. I really love myself right now, i love my life, and everything on me. Alhamdulilaaah, God give me perfect body-part, have a healthy brain, beautiful eyes, and everything. Mazkun was right: yang sebaiknya kau jaga, adalah dirimu sendiri (the things that u better take care of, is urself).

Yes, it is. Maybe i'll adding some note later, but yeah, let face 2023 with brightly smile, optismistic, and more "Alhamdulillaah". 2022 was a tough year, but alhamdulillaah i'm safe and sound.

Ps: video is my very very 1st time try airport train🚄

[babyboibucky]

Should’ve Known Better

Pairing: EB!Frank x Reader

Summary: You should have known better than to sleep with a friend.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Smut, FWB set-up, a little bit of toxic shit, angst

A/N: Frank got the most votes when I asked which other Seb character I should write for, so here it is! This is very personal to me lmfao it’s somewhat based on my own experience that really fucked me up a couple of years ago aksncajscna no but for real, stay away from the friends with benefits kind of relationship if you can’t keep shit purely sexual lmao also some guys are just fucking assholes even if they’re your friend lol

ALSO, I tagged those who are in my Everything Bucky Tag List. I’m not sure if I’ll write more Frank in the future too so I won’t be creating a separate tag list for him yet.

MAIN MASTERLIST

"Do you love me?"

It was a simple question that was supposed to make you think. Given your experiences and your personality in general, you were supposed to cringe and ignore it. Maybe even make a joke out of it, especially that it was Frank who was asking you this question.

He wasn't supposed to ask it too. He wasn't one to ask such thing, not especially with the relationship that the both of you have. It was clear from the get go that this was nothing serious.

So why was he asking it now?

And why did you respond to it right away, as if you knew your answer even before he asked?

-

"Come on, it'll be fun."

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"I'll make you feel good, you won't regret this."

It did feel good, you were going to give Frank that. Possibly the best, even. But the latter part? You weren't so sure. Were you regretting it? Honestly, no.

Maybe not yet.

You'd rather not think about it for now.

"What's there to lose? We know each other too much to develop feelings anyway, you said so yourself."

Oh there's plenty to lose. Maybe a decade's worth of platonic (was it really platonic from the beginning though?) friendship. Your self-esteem was on the line too, but you didn't know it yet. You'll get there though, whether you like it or not.

"I'm free next Friday, come over. Spend the night with me. What do you say?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Next Friday. I'll see you, okay?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Ugh, fine."

But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

-

That first night with Frank was something else. It was fun and he kept his promise to make you feel good. So, so good. You never thought that sex could be that fucking good. At least, not with your previous partners. Not that you had many in the first place.

But god, Frank knew what he was doing and he loved doing things to you. He loved the entire process of knowing your body, what you liked and what you loved. How you liked to be kissed and touched and fucked.

He studied your body like his fucking life depended on it and you let him. You let him own your body because you needed someone to. You needed to feel something, wanted to have a purpose even for just a short while, even if it meant being someone's fuck buddy.

You felt lost for the longest time, but as you laid on Frank's bed with his tongue lapping up your cunt, you actually felt like you belonged somewhere.

-

You weren't a booty call, definitely not. And when things escalated between the both of you, Frank was already single and had broken off with his recent girlfriend, Daphne. You weren't a doormat nor a side chick. Frank had been your friend for the longest time, one of your closest actually. He knew you the best and not just physically. Frank knew the darkest parts of you the same way you knew him like the back of your hand. He was the most open to you, he said so himself.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." he told you one time.

Frank wasn't afraid to show you his true colors; how he wasn't the kind to settle for one or how he would often end up with someone immature or toxic. He himself was toxic and for the most part, you tolerated him.

That was the mistake on your part.

You let him be himself, that's why you held a special place in his heart. Not even his past girlfriends could get rid of you. You were untouchable.

"Are you sure she's fine with us going out?" you asked Frank one time, as the both of you headed to the movies.

He scoffed, "Yeah, don't worry. I already told her you're my best friend. You're off limits." he chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you inside the cinema.

"You're fine." he reassured again, this time wrapping his arm around your shoulder and then cradling your head playfully.

-

Looking back, you sometimes ponder whether the friendship was really platonic. You were sure of it when the both of you first became friends; he was a couple of years older than you. You sort of looked up to him like an older brother for the first few years of your relationship. And he was very caring too, always looking out for you.

Your other friends were the first one to notice the closeness. They often told you that Frank seemed to have a thing for you. You brushed it off though, saying that it was impossible.

His girlfriend then was an acquaintance of yours. She was nice and wasn't bothered by how Frank was affectionate towards you.

Indeed, you were untouchable. You were the best friend after all.

-

"We fought again."

You rolled your eyes at Frank as he sat across from you at a local coffee shop near your place. It was your birthday and as always, you spent the most part of it with Frank.

It was like a tradition already, to celebrate your birthday with Frank first before you went out with your friends. Or even family. It was that kind of friendship.

"I'm sorry but who are we talking about again?" you joked.

Frank made a face, "Daphne." he responded. "I just told you about her like, two days ago."

You snickered, "I was kidding. But honestly though, you have to stop flirting with other girls. It's been really difficult for me to keep track of your record, Frank. And are you and Daphne even official?" you asked, taking a sip from your cold brew.

He rubbed his chin and shrugged, "Sorta. Well, we were official two weeks ago. Now though, I'm not so sure. Here's the thing, Daphne can be really..." he said, trying to search for the right words.

You hummed and shook your head, "Immature?" you said and mindlessly scrolled through your phone.

"You should really stop dating girls who are immature, Frank. I swear to god, this is like...I don't know, the fifth time you dated someone like her? Why don't you settle for someone who actually acts her age?" you blurted out.

Frank groaned and transferred to the seat next to you, his body facing yours and his hand landing on your thigh. You didn't mind, didn't think it was too touchy or intimate for someone who was in a relationship. It was pretty common for Frank to be this touchy with you anyway, you never paid much attention to it nor given it any malice.

"We fought because of you actually." Frank admitted with an apologetic smile.

Your head snapped towards him, a scowl etched on your face. "What did I do?!" you asked in defense.

"It was my fault. Daph saw your photo inside my wallet." he said.

"You should really throw away that photo. Jesus, why do you still have it anyway?" you complained.

Frank scoffed, "That's my favorite photo of you. I don't wanna get rid of it."

That was the last day that you considered your friendship with Frank platonic.

-

Come over

I miss u xoxo

Miss eating u out

Miss ur moans, wanna hear them again

You groaned at the continuous notifications that flooded your phone. While you were at work. After that first night with Frank, he had gotten extra clingy. No lies though, it felt nice to be wanted like this.

im free nxt Sat

Yay

Cant wait to see u, missed u a lot

dude, we were at the mall together just last wk

U really dont get attached do u?

Frowning at Frank's reply, you honestly didn't understand what he was implying.

what u mean?

Nothing

Work kept you busy for the entire week, with Frank bombarding you with sweet texts. You've avoided being sweet with him, it felt wrong. You weren't an affectionate person but Frank was, it was sort of one-sided. It wasn't a big deal anyway.

No one from the rest of your friends knew what had become of your friendship with Frank. You just thought it wasn't something that should be revealed. It was like your and Frank's little secret. You had to admit, the thrill only made the sex better.

Whenever the both of you went out with other people, the tension was there and it was fun. It was fun trying to brush off the way Frank's hand would steal touches from your waist, or how he'd subtly squeeze your thigh. The looks you exchanged from across the room; how Frank's "fuck me" eyes were meant for you and only you.

Things like that made you feel a certain type of way. But you never dwelled on it, or at least, you thought you didn't.

-

"Yeah, fuck...just like that, baby."

Frank's fingers dug deeply into the skin of your ass as he guided your hips. You gripped onto the back of the couch as you bounced on his cock, head thrown back from pleasure as Frank suckled one of your nipples. You could feel each of his fingers pressing down against your skin, it's probably going to leave bruises again.

"Frank, shit. I'm close." you panted against the skin of his neck, your arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him close.

Frank grunted and took your face in between his palms, forcing you to look at him as he began to thrust his hips upwards, eliciting a high-pitched whimper from you.

"Wanted to see you like this ever since." he breathed out, pressing his lips against your open mouth.

"Wanted you since we met, d'you know that?" he asked, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head back so he could nibble on your throat.

You shook your head and gripped his shoulders, nails scratching at his skin as you continued to ride his cock, "God, Frank...so close." you moaned.

You felt Frank's lips curl into a smirk against your neck, his fingers gripping your hair to keep you in place as his other hand slipped in between your bodies, finding your clit and rubbing it to help you reach your climax.

Every single time he touched you, you felt like your entire body was on fire. You felt the most alive, the most free whenever Frank fucked you. Maybe because he was truly gifted in bed or maybe he just knew your body and how to make it sing.

Or maybe it was because of the way he looked at you whenever you fall apart for him. Like he only had eyes for you, like it was only you that he could see.

Sweaty bodies and hoarse voices, the smell of smoke and sex lingering in the air. It was such a familiar ambiance by now. You liked how the aftermath of fucking Frank was never awkward, if any, it was a comfortable experience with the both of you just talking casually about how each other's day went.

"So I'm talking to this girl..." Frank said, turning you around so he could spoon you. Oh, the irony of the intimacy and conversation.

"Where'd you meet this girl?" you asked.

"Tinder." Frank snorted before pressing a kiss on your nape. "No, but she's different. I don't know, there's something about her."

You merely hummed in response.

"Think I might ask her out."

The first sting. The first realization. The first denial.

You should've said no. You should've known better.

-

The art exhibit wasn't a flop, but you wouldn't call it a success either. When you got a call from the organizer asking whether they can include your paintings in the exhibit, you said yes instantly. What can you say? You were a struggling artist who was seeking validation.

But now that you stood in front of your works with barely ten people attending the one-day exhibit, you thought that this wasn't a validation. It felt like a wake up call that maybe, art wasn't your calling and that you should probably give up on your dream.

"These are amazing."

You were on the verge of breaking down when you heard his voice. Turning around, you were surprised to see Frank. He was nodding his head as he approached you, his eyes scanning each of your painting.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had work." you asked.

Frank gave you a face, "Did you really think I'd miss out on your first exhibit?" he said and pulled you into a warm embrace.

"I'm proud of you." he whispered before kissing the crown of your head.

One validation from Frank was all it took for the walls to crumble down. He was the one who had been there for you all along and that was why you completely trusted him.

Frank will never hurt you, he'll never bring you down.

Or so you thought.

-

"Do you love me?"

It was a question that was supposed to make you think. But you didn't, because even before Frank decided to ask you that, you already had your answer.

You knew your answer for the longest time now, but decided to lock it into a box that you kept in the deepest part of your heart. It remained there unbothered and almost forgotten, up until this point.

That's why it was so easy for you to respond to it without even batting an eye.

"Yes."

It was too late when you realized that you had just admitted that you were in love with Frank. But you felt like it was the right time for you to bring out the key to that box, open it and just set your truth free.

They said that the truth will set you free, but why does it feel like it only imprisoned you?

"Shit, I was kidding." Frank said, his face panicked and body stiff from your unexpected admission.

Before you could even say something, Frank let out a nervous laugh as he ran his hand through his locks. "Wow, I didn't...are you serious?" he asked again.

It took you everything to brush off the pain, "Yeah, but it's no big deal. Come on." you shook your head and forced out a breathy chuckle.

Frank heaved out a deep sigh, "Fuck, I was messing with you. Are you sure it's fine? I mean, would this change anything?" he asked.

You deadpanned, "No, Frank. It wouldn't change anything. Like I said, get over it. It's not like I'm in love with you. I just love you...if that makes sense? You're my friend." you explained, more like lied.

"Look, it's not like I'm unattracted to you. I like you, I like spending time with you. It's just that I sort of don't see myself committing to you."

It didn't sink in to you immediately, Frank's statement. You didn't pay it any mind because again, you knew Frank. He wasn't one to commit so that was fine, you understand where he was coming from. It's not like you were going to force yourself on him too. But then you accidentally glanced at his phone and saw the messages he'd been exchanging with a certain someone.

When r u coming home?

In a little while, Daph

That night, Frank's statement hit you like a ton of bricks but again, you chose to deny what you actually felt. It's fine.

You're fine.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better.

Those words rang in your ears on the day that you found out. Your body turned cold, your vision blurred and your head spun. You'd never experienced hurt and anger like this, the kind that consumed you.

The kind that made you realized and admit that fuck, you'd truly fallen for Frank only for him to break your heart.

It didn't help that you were having such a terrible day at work. And Frank was so sweet to ask you whether you wanted to meet up with him. Not for sex, but to talk. The sex came rarely recently and was replaced with wholesome trips to the grocery, shit like that.

You knew there was something special going on. Even after he told you that he didn't see himself being with you, there was something.

Apparently, that something was just an assumption. Because when you asked Frank to meet you up that night, he said he couldn't and needed to be somewhere. That he'd meet with you the next day instead, a promise.

But then you saw him post a photo of him and Daphne. And it made your blood boil.

u back together?

No. Not really, been trying to fix it but u know how it is.

if ur trying to fix it with her then im out, frank

Wait what? Hey, are u mad?

r u fucking serious? u knew i love u and u come here parading ur ex, what the fuck is that all abt?

Shit, hey. Look, let's talk later, okay? Im out, will txt u when Im free.

Frank didn't text you back for the rest of the day.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

Were you regretting it? Yes. Sometimes.

You didn't know which hurt the most, the fact that Frank kept you in the dark while he was trying to patch things up with his ex, or that he considered you his best friend and still chose to break your heart.

He knew you the best, your relationship and trust issues and out of all the people, he really had to be the one to fuck you up the most. You trusted him so much, trusted him not to hurt you. Hell, if he doesn't want to commit then that's fine. But for him to treat you like a second option? Fuck that.

For him to confuse you with his actions, the intimacy...were all of those even real? All the times he came to your support when you had no one, when he was there for you on days you felt alone. What were those? He made you feel so fucking special, like it was possible to actually turn the friendship into something more than just fucking.

All this time you thought it was one-sided because you never actually showed Frank how much you meant to him the same way he did to you. Turned out that it was one-sided, but only because you were the only one who fell.

The following day, you received a voicemail from Frank. You pondered whether you were ready to listen to it but at the same time, you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was pretty stupid, he fucked you up and there was no excuse for that. But the friendship you had with him had a strong hold on you.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. That was my mistake." he started off. "I thought that this was really just sex and having fun, but I want you to know that I like you. I really do, you're special to me. Please give me a chance to make things right. Daph and I...I want to end things with her. Please stay, I don't know what I'd do without you."

“I just didn’t expect that you’d end up falling for me, I mean shit. You know the real me, how fucked up I am when it comes to relationships. Just please...please stay?”

Did you stay? Sort of. But you kept your distance, didn't meet up with Frank after that and only responded to his texts occasionally. Did he end things with Daph?

He didn't.

He said he would but instead, they got back together.

It was fucking selfish of Frank to ask for you to stay only for him to get back together with his ex. It'd be better for him to just slap you in the face then.

Being told that he couldn't see himself committing to you but then going back with his ex was the cherry on top. God, if that didn't mess up with your self-worth.

You totally stopped talking to Frank, ignored his texts and calls. You stayed away from him, tried to get over him and eventually, you did. But you'd be lying if you said that he never left an effect on you. Because he did, Frank did a number on you and it would take you a long fucking time to completely recover from the damage he inflicted on you.

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

And that's okay, because there's nothing wrong with taking risks and ending up in heartbreak.

You live, you love and you learn.

-

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[spacedikut]

my all ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x f!reader

summary:  “hey could i do a fic request for an x spencer? could u maybe do something with really touchstarved spencer (bc germaphobia) and him being at first too awkward to go n cuddle and then as he gains more confidence he gets much more touchy and huggy and stuff? and reader being shocked by how cuddly he is? plzplzplz? its totally ok if u dont write it but just wanted to send in the request!” 2689 words

a/n: i hope i did this justice! i love spencer reid!!!!!!!!!

masterlist

Spencer first realised how much he loves your touch after a case where he put himself directly in danger.

You ran up, flung your arms around him and pulled him against you so tightly he felt winded.

He was shocked, stunned, and everything in between, but the most important thing is that he hugged back. It felt natural, the right thing to do, and his arms felt so snug and perfect around you his heart stuttered.

You pulled back, noticed his expression, and winced despite his reciprocation, “Sorry. I just. You could’ve died, you moron. You scared me.”

All he did was give you a breathless smile and with a squeeze of his shoulders you let go, allowing him to get checked by a medic.

Spencer struggled to sleep on the jet home, plagued by the thoughts of you - you with your arms around him, how much he enjoyed how it felt.

It felt… wrong to like it as much as he did. Like, in theory, enjoying your physical touch went against his moral code – as a germaphobe, the thought of having to come into contact with anyone in any way makes him want to vomit. But, with you?

You smelt so good, even after running for God knows how long. You were so soft, yet so firm, so warm and welcoming and dear God Spencer has never wanted to touch every inch of someone so bad in his life.

The case was a rough one, so Garcia was waiting for you all with loving eyes and a pitiful smile, arms wide open for whoever may need it. Spencer instantly decides no thanks, but you swoop in and cuddle up to Garcia within seconds of seeing her.

You even place a series of kisses against her cheek, and Spencer is transported back to your hug.

If he was more like Garcia, open to any form of love as long as it’s love, would you have kissed him like that?

His pulse quickens, palms get sweaty and he has to clear his throat to bring himself back to Earth.

He can’t afford to think like that.

But your lips…

No. Paperwork? Let’s do that and not think about a colleague’s lips.

+++

You’re furious.

You told Spencer to wait for backup, to not do anything stupid or irrational and definitely do NOT go in there alone, genius!

And what did he do?

He didn’t wait for backup, did something very stupid and irrational, and definitely went in alone.

And now he’s dealing with a hefty concussion and flurry of other injuries; cuts, scratches, and bruises alike all dotted over him like he’s a connect-the-dots drawing.

The second he wakes up, you’re gonna kill him.

For the time being, you’ll gently thread your fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp, and watch his chest rise and fall to ensure he’s alive and breathing.

“Mmm,” A groan, “That feels nice.”

His eyes flutter open. You lean towards the table next to him, pick up the bottle of water and the jello cup, and offer him both.

“Thanks,” He says, hoarsely.

You sit back in your chair. Spencer doesn’t take his eyes off you once. Not when he drinks the whole bottle of water, or when he cracks open the jello and inhales it with one slurp.

Your brows furrow.

“You’re banned from work until you’re fully healed.”

“I’m suspended?!” He guffaws.

“No,” You shake your head, “I’m personally telling you you’re not welcome back until you’re okay.”

“I’m okay now.”

“Do a backflip, genius.”

Spencer giggles, “I can’t do that in peak physical condition, Y/N.”

“Sounds like a cop out to me. So, again, you’re banned from work until you’re fully healed.”

He considers fighting back, but then he remembers what you were doing when he woke up, what he felt when he woke up.

He was confused and, you know, in pain, but there was this tender and soft, repetitive touch that immediately eased him. His subconscious knew it was you, in all your glory and sweetness, that had stayed with him for however long, looking after him even when he wasn’t conscious to know it.

So he just keeps staring at you, spoonful of jello in his mouth.

+++

When you get to Spencer’s place, he looks around like it’s his first time seeing it – awe and wonder painted on his face.

Everything he’s doing, everything he’s going through, you’re putting it all down to his concussion.

On the way here, he told you the whole history of car air fresheners after taking a good five seconds to get a good sniff of the cherry blossom scent you have.

“Let’s get you settled in, huh?” You say quietly, guiding Spencer to his bedroom. He walks a little like a mummy, kinda stumpy and heavy, and he flops on the bed.

You give a lopsided grin as you watch him. He’s mumbling incoherently, shuffling up to the top of his bed to fall flat on his back.

He moans.

“Alright, alright,” You placate, “Let me go… gather some things.”

You don’t know Spencer’s place all that well, so it takes you a while to find even the simplest things like a glass, a flannel, a snack. You get lost in snooping around, trying not to profile him, and the one thing you deduct is his apartment is so him. So Spencer, so lovely and comforting and a little odd.

You can’t get enough.

There’s a weak call from his bedroom: “Y/N?”

“Coming!”

He hasn���t moved an inch from where you left him. He looks so pitiful, bruised eyes and a cut right through his lip, and you almost coo at him.

“I’m not a good cook, so I thought we could order some food later.” You hand him the water and gesture for him to drink. “In the meantime, you need to rest. Mind if I borrow a book while I keep you company?”

You turn to leave, but Spencer’s voice makes you pause.

“Could you play with my hair again?”

A part of you wants to say no, like this is some overly intimate thing he’s asking, but then you remind yourself that he’s injured, which has reverted him to acting like a sleepy child.

“Please?” He looks at you with glassy eyes and he looks adorable, “Only for a little while.”

You say nothing, sliding into bed next to him. He scoots over a little to make more room for you, curling into you before your back hits the bed entirely. One hand rests above the covers, naturally placed on his arm, thumb smoothing him back and forth. The other, the one wrapped around his head, cards through his lightly tangled hair, all warm and loving.

He falls asleep instantly and, not long after, you fall asleep, too.

You both dream of eachother and wake up blushing.

+++

Spencer’s back in work within four days. You’re working a new case the second you arrive.

There’s been a shift in your dynamic and everyone’s noticed it. No one questions it, however, because they’re all aware you looked after him while he was away, and they witnessed how worried you were when you found him, but they can’t help but ogle and whisper.

They might be federal agents, but gossip is gossip and they love it.

You’ve noticed it, too, obviously. JJ tried to tease you about it, after Spencer bought you your favourite coffee and morning muffin on the way to the precinct, but you shut her down (and yourself from thinking about it too much) by reminding her you spent several days caring for him. He’s repaying you, even though you’ve told him he doesn’t need to.

Ever heard of transference, JJ?

A shiver runs through you as you look into the interrogation room. It’s not because of the suspect, though, it’s because the AC has been turned up – a tactic Hotch promises will be worth it despite your chattering teeth.

Something’s wrapped around you, suddenly, light but cosy and adds some heat to you that you need.

It’s a cardigan. Grey, much too big for you, the sleeves falling way beyond your arms and length reaching your mid-thigh. There’s a little red heart with eyes stitched on the left breast.

It’s Spencer’s.

“You’re shivering,” Spencer chastises, seemingly appearing from nowhere, “You know, when we shiver, it’s our bodies doing the opposite of sweating – it tightens the skin and shakes the muscles, a process that conserves and generates heat. We shiver to get warm. Do you not have a coat?”

“Alright, dad,” You tease, “It’s in the conference room. I wasn’t prepared for Hotch to make the unsub an icicle.”

Spencer breathes a laugh, moving closer to reach an arm around you. His other hand presses against your bicep, his grip sturdy as he vigorously rubs up and down your arms to generate heat.

Whoa.

It certainly works. You feel hot, suddenly, but not because of the cardigan or whatever the hell he’s doing, because Spencer has voluntarily touched you and is standing so close you feel like you’re on fire from the inside out. You’re sure your heart skips a beat and you stare at him in bewilderment.

He shrugs, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world, “My mom used to do that for me when I was young and got cold. I thought you’d appreciate it.”

You give a shy smile, “Yeah, I appreciate it a lot, Spence. Thanks.”

When Hotch leaves the interrogation room, he half-halts when he sees you in Spencer’s cardigan. It’s the perfect Hotch reaction, combined with the rise of an eyebrow as he walks past you to reconvene with the team.

You don’t take it off when you all walk back to the conference room, and Spencer doesn’t ask for it back.

Everyone notices. A lot of eye contact is made with many questions silently asked.

You and Spencer pretend not to notice.

+++

There’s a knock on your door at precisely 10:12pm. You check because your first instinct is if I’m about to get robbed, I’m making sure the timestamps are correct.

It’s not a robber. It’s Spencer – frazzled, wrapped up all nice and warm like a pretty present, Spencer Reid.

His nose is slightly red from the biting cold outside.

Leaning against your doorframe, you say, “Hey there,”

“Hi,” He waves.

You stare for a couple of seconds, then remember the polite thing to do is invite him in: “Come in, come in! Do you want some tea? You look cold.”

“Coffee would be great, thank you.”

You move to your kitchen, not very far from your front door, but Spencer stays put and awkwardly glances around your place. He loves it, he decides. Very you.

You notice he hasn’t moved, “Make yourself comfortable, Spence. My cat is somewhere if you want to say hi.”

He slowly moves to your couch, removing his coat, scarf and satchel as he does it. Two drinks in hand, you join him and fling your fluffy sock-clad feet onto your coffee table.

“So what can I help you with?” You ask.

Spencer takes a sip of his burning drink, “What makes you think I want something?”

“Why else would you be here? You wanna watch Grey’s Anatomy with me?”

Spencer laughs lightly. You’re right. He’s here for a reason that isn’t to watch TV that he loves to correct with you.

He’s quiet, then, and does that thing where his tongue flicks out to lightly wet his lips in nervousness.

“Something’s been going on.” He starts, ambiguously, “And it’s left me asking a lot of questions.”

Your brows furrow. It’s not like Spencer to be cryptic like this.

“Did it mean anything?” He asks, finally, turning to look at you. “Any of it?”

“Did what mean anything?”

“The.. the playing with the hair, the over-all gentleness, the cuddling.”

Your shoulders tighten up and you hope he doesn’t notice.

He does.

“Spence,” You give a fake laugh, “You were hurt and I was comforting you. Looking after you. You know, like a friend does.”

“No one else did as much as you.”

“You wanted comfort, and I’m more than happy to provide that, Spence. Everyone else was busy.”

“You took time off for me.”

You don’t have an answer for that.

You’re trying to keep the conversation light and breezy to not show your true feelings. You’re not ready for that kind of conversation, but he’s right. You used your vacation days to stay with him and care for him.. and you know you didn’t do it platonically.

“You’re my friend, Spence,” You say, voice soft.

“That’s it? That’s all it was?” He doesn’t sound angry, or hurt, maybe peeved. He won’t look you in the eyes, though.

“What else would it be?”

Spencer scoffs.

He moves away from you, hands running through his hair in exasperation when he lets out a breath.

“We cuddled, Y/N. I haven’t done that with anyone in-in years! The last person was my mother when I was ten years old!”

“That’s supposed to mean something?!”

“I-I don’t know,” He sounds exhausted, as if the complications of his emotions are taking way too much energy out of him, “But I really liked it. And I really like you.”

You look at him, then, and he’s staring back. He looks… hopeful.

“I really like you, Y/N.”

You swallow deeply.

“I tried to show you with the uh, the cardigan thing,” He scratches the back of his neck, a laugh to mock himself leaving him, “But I’ve never been good with that stuff.”

He moves closer, shifting to face you, eyes remaining locked with yours.

“Say something.” He whispers.

“I-I-“ You stutter, “Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. I’ve spent the last week thinking about it non-stop.”

“Really?” You laugh in disbelief.

“Yeah!” He gives a small smile, “I-uh.. wrote to my mom about you, too. She told me that if I’m this caught up on you, you must be special. Which you are, by the way.”

“I’m special?” You grin teasingly.

“Very special.”

There’s a moment where you think he’s going to kiss you, but instead he shyly asks, “Do you feel the same?”

You bite your lip. “I do. Really, I do. I’m just.. a little apprehensive, I guess.”

“Of what?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Nothing is stupid when it comes to you.”

God, he’s so infuriatingly sweet. You wish you could kiss him all over.

You might be able to, if all this goes well.

“I don’t want things to be weird if we don’t work out.” You admit, adding a shrug to appear casual. It’s not like you’ve worried about this since you realised you liked him.

Spencer tilts his head at you, “You’re already thinking about a breakup when we haven’t even gone on a first date?”

You giggle, which he returns with a smile, “I mean- I like you, Spence, and have for a while. I’ve thought about all outcomes.”

“All?”

You roll your eyes as he gives you a look, “Yes, all. I’d want us to work out but.. what if we don’t?”

He places a now warmed up hand on yours, “Well, we won’t know unless we try, right?” His hold tightens, “I’m willing to give it my all if you are.”

You look from your hands to his face, and decide yes, if there’s one risk you want to take in your life, it’s a risk that could possibly result in you spending the rest of your life with your favourite person on this planet.

So you nod.

“I’ll give you my all, and then some.”

He grins, “That’s quite the promise.”

You don’t reply, instead swinging your legs over his lap and leaning into his side to cuddle up to him. He reciprocates like it’s second nature, hand slipping from yours to wrap around your waist and tug you closer.

“Wanna watch Star Trek as a mini first date?” You look up at him through your eyelashes.

You really are perfect for me, Spencer thinks.

“Yes. Yes I do.”

[rintarous]

fuckboy!suna

[ masterlist ]

kageyama | osamu | kita | tendou

my baby ++ my mind kinda loopy after reading killing stalking lmfao help me

suna the fuckboy

has a nice ring to it ngl

since he’s practically besties with the miya twins, you know this fool is gonna be accustomed to their antics

since him and the twins are like a package deal, they do shit together

even if it pains him, he’ll do it cs bro code and theyre just tight like that

at first he’s like “no wtf??” when he was first told abt the idea

but atsumu managed to convince him by saying “live a little you boring ass bitch”

and my dude LOVED it

he loved the attention

#attentionwhore

i picture him as this rich and lowkey bratty boy

so what he wants, what he gets

if he wants this specific person, he will get that person

no matter what it takes

probably already thought of 28931892 ways to get their attention

like kita, he has this appeal when he’s s i l e n t

cs he’s observing your daily actions

just like how a predator stalks its prey

how ironic it is that he looks like a fox lol

he also gets pretty bored easily

so if you’re a fling, you only last for like 2-3 business days with him then you’re out of the picture

it just works like that

if his flings decide to say the i love you word,,

he’s DEADASS just going to say “yikes”

just like the pic above ^^^

suna flings™: heart: crushed

suna: heart: breaker

its not his fault his flings fall for him hard

and i dont blame them

like he got looks, money, timid personality, etc

dream boy tbh

and then just like that, hes bored of u and now he’s onto another person

its a cycle

rinse, wash, repeat

also if you were a suna fling™ best believe you’re gonna get a few trinkets here and there

almost like a consolation gift from him that you caught his attention

LMFAOOOAOASFJSAKSAD

but if he really liked your company, he’s going to give his favorite food which is jelly fruit sticks or ice pops LMAFSKLDJAKLDJ

suna is just a big babie

but with,,,, an impressive appeal ASKJHASJD

the reason why he’s acting like this cs his great great love broke his heart

(atsumu only gave him a push to like finally let go or sumn but at least now we know this bitch has commitment issues)

to be fair, it was his fault to begin with but he never thought the day would come that you would leave him

he still remembers the day so vividly when you called him to meet up with you at the school gates

only to tell him that you were done with the relationship then u’re crying and shit and suna realized that he’s been neglecting you all this time

yeah that shit hurted huh

but what hurt you even more was the fact that after you broke up with him, he suddenly got this fuckboy reputation in school

anyway

time to time you and suna make eye contact in the hallways

as he is STILL your classmate

and you’d just roll your eyes then walk away leaving him all sad and shit

suna frowns seeing you breathing and shit without him and his mood worsens when his little suna fangirls are crowding him

bonus: atsumu: suna suna, tearing up: y/n used to call me that osamu: that’s because that’s your fucking name

a big chunk of him still wants you back

like who wouldn’t 

so maybe it was time to cut this fuckboy façade he had going on and try to reel you back in

he knows it wont be easy

HE DID NEGLECT YOU AS HE WAS GETTING BORED (of the relationship, never of u) 

not that he’d admit that or whatever haahah gotta keep that big boy pride

so one random ass day, he approaches you

“hey y/n”

“what do you want suna?” you say coldly

ouchies its been a long ass time since u called him suna

u used to call him rinrin or rin or taro or ro or babe

“aha nothing just checking up on u!!” he blurts out before he bolts out of the classroom leaving you like ????

“he’s probably already bored of his fuckboy act, tsk typical of him” you tsked, rolling your eyes as you pack shit into your bag as you move on to the next classroom 

since that interaction suna has been in a slump

where he doesnt want to do shit at all

like he just blankly stares down at all the people following, gawking over him

barely practices only unless kita forces him to

“i wonder what’s wrong with suna” osamu murmurs to atsumu as they sat down on the bleachers drinking water

“i heard he talked to y/n for the first time since their break up” atsumu replies

“he still wants her back huh” osamu comes to a conclusion 

“probably i mean, have you seen y/n? i’m surprised suna was able to sweep her away” atsumu smiles to himself, “if i were suna, i’d never let her go like fuck” 

too bad for the twins suna was listening the entire damn time

now he made it his mission to get you back

that and to get atsumu’s dirty hands off of you if he ever does get the chance to do so

suna starts small with his little plan to get you back 

like leaving anonymous letters at your locker

leaving you snacks and shit on your table when you weren’t looking

not very fuckboy of him but what else is he gonna do ???? he cant just walk up to you and call it a day 

he thinks he’s being secretive but you know your man

you caught on lmfao 

his handwriting was a dead giveaway and the fact he gives you jelly related snacks oh lord

not wanting to hurt his feelings, you just kept them for his sake

so gradually this went on for like several days

and now you get shit in your locker

homeboi still knows your password duh and u never changed it lol

you opened your locker and found a daisy sitting on top of your bento box 

tbh you were kinda touched that he still remembers the little things you like despite its been months since your break up

you felt someone staring at you and lo and behold as you turned around it was suna peeking from the corner of the hallway

(it was hard not to notice this dude is like 6′1 ft. tall) 

you caught his eye and you miraculously smiled at him

for what?? the first time in months?????

cue suna’s stomach exploding with fireworks

suna blushes and backs up from the corridor and rushes to his lunch table in peace

“ey someone’s happy” osamu comments as suna finally sits down with them

“its nothing, got a good grade at literature that’s all” suna quietly shares, still thinking about how beautiful your smile was

“pfft right.. like you’d look like you’re on cloud nine with a good grade” atsumu snickers, “who’s the lucky lady?” he wiggles his eyebrows

osamu gives him a look to which of course atsumu ignores

right off the bat you walked in the cafeteria with all your glory, with the daisy he gave you tucked in the front pocket of your blazer

suna’s eyes follows your figure as you sat beside your friends

atsumu starts whistling lowly, “dang y/l/n still looks beautiful as ever” he gives suna the side eye

and instantly suna’s mood took a 18- turn and now the dude was scowling

“i should ask her out” atsumu smirks, lowkey enjoying suna getting worked up

suna rolls his eyes and stands up and walks over to your table

“now look what you’ve done!” osamu scolds his brother

atsumu swats him away, “i did him a big ass favor” 

as you were chatting away with your friends, your friends suddenly stop talking and stared at something behind your back

“what?” you asked, turning around to see no one other than suna rintarou 

“he-”

and this mf kissed you 

IN FRONT OF EVERYONE iN THE CAFETERIA

“didn’t they break up?”

“doesnt suna have a new girlfriend right now or what?” 

hushed whispers from the inarizaki students when they basically witnessed the kiss

but you and suna didn’t care

what shocked suna is how you kissed him back

“if you wanted me back so bad then use your words, rin” you chuckled, pulling his necktie so he can sit next to you

“i’m sorry..” he squeaked, finding your hand under the table, “all i want is you and no one else” he murmurs, shying away from you

“i knew you couldn’t last being a fuckboy” you laughed, squeezing his hand. “tell atsumu his ass is done for” you rolled your eyes playfully but on the inside you were already thinking of ways to get back at atsumu

[thedevilliers]

this is less a tutorial and more a semi in-depth explanation on my process while taking screenies. my do’s and don’ts about lightning, angles, text/dialogue, close-ups and other!

as a disclaimer, anyone is free to take their screenies however they want and this is just my personal preference and opinions ♡ everything is under the cut! i did say its LONG so dont say i didnt warn u 😳

i use the nobluv2 and noglo mods by luumia! i recommend them 100000%

1. lightning

with its exceptions, this being i’m in a room with candles/chandelier/anything that doesnt naturally produce a white light OR ambiance reasons, my setting with screenies is with the ‘Neutral White’ color. this is for me, more visually appealing than just bathing your sim in yellow light.

EXAMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

warmer white:

poor lit:

good <3:

i usually test my lightning before i actually take any screenies so my sim is well-lit but also preventing overexposure bc of the lighting. an example of overexposure is when for example the lighting is SO strong, your sim looks like its ‘shining’

you can see it here on her chest highlights, her arm and her cheeks. i exaggerated it here so its more obvious. fixing overexposure is HARDER than upping the brightness in a poor-lit screenshot. overexposure and makin sims look like they are SHINING is a crime. JAIL

the best light ever tbh. just dont get... to carried away

1.2 outdoor lightning

this is one a bit trickier depending on your location but USUALLY your screenies would look well dark. again, test lightning before actually shooting screenies! i generally look for a lamp posts that have good lightning and shrink them down so if im taking angled shots, it doesnt get in the way. change the color to neutral white and if its too much lightning, just lower the dimmer:

2. just no

just no to all this:

in general, you can ZOOM to the max, and with the scroll-wheel zoom out THREE TIMES. four times we on the edge but its still acceptable. five times and you are goin to JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in general i also recommend having a semi-big room so you can move around without any problems. small rooms DO work but chances are while moving around you’re either going to go outside the room, run into a plant in the shot or into another decor item.

for example, this is a ‘small’ room. while taking photos i have run into the bookshelves for over the shoulder shots like 8000 times. still, doable, but why put myself thru the suffering>?????

2.2 fill the room

nothin sadder than, for example, doing a bedroom scene and there just being...a bed. the game comes with so much clutter and theres also a lot of clutter cc to make rooms seem more ‘lived in’. its also a lot more visually appealing than the room being empty.

3. angles for screenies

my controversial OPINION!!!! i dont care for FULL surroundings shots for more than for a singular panel. THERE I SAID IT!!! usually i show the surroundings/scene setting in ONE panel and then i move on to other angles. again, has exceptions. these being a banquet, party, ball, another sim joins the scene, montages, etc! ANYWHERE that has something happening with multiple people in general.

for example, i don’t see why repeat the same angle with different poses. i can do it for one panel, but for the next ones? there’s the option of over the shoulder shots,  detail shots, them looking at each other shots, cinammon tography shots........... more than likely your reader already has an idea of where your characters are so showing it in every single panel is not necessary.

always try and leave a lil breathin room for the heads on top so it isnt all CRAMPED! but this all depends on the pose, if theres a height difference included in said poses and the angle you are taking the screenshot from!

same thing about not just doing...full on surrounding shots for when something is HAPPENING. say, someone is fainting, collapsing...ANYTHIN!! theres so many shot options than just repeating the same angle over and over again. DONT BE SHY!!!! DO VARIETY !!!

we in photography class now. BUT yes keep these in mind ALSO while taking photos so it isnt just the same angle, same distance just different pose. your sim has a nice outfit? showing it once is enough! every panel? ummmm......... your sim is crying?  do a medium close up/medium shot and not a full body shot!

3.1 close ups

your close ups and ALL screenies in general, don’t have to be FRONTAL only. they can be right/left side, a lil angled...

waist/chest level is a good level for a close-up sim wise since if you ZOOM in too much WELL

4. text/dialogue

i’d recommend any SANS-SERIF fonts. serif fonts are so hard to read even if nice looking. usually a font-size of over 40px+ works and you can add outside stroke and even drop shadow!

i personally use calibri (bold italic) for my screenies, but other subtitle fonts like arial, myriad pro, helvetica...really any sans-serif ones work.

my stroke settings:

i also wouldn’t recommend putting 4000 word paragraphs in ONE screenie because it’s just visually exhausting. the MAXIMUM i’d do and thats if ABSOLUTELY necessary is FOUR!!!! lines of text. id keep it to three ONLY and thats if your text is the same size as mine. if bigger then two 😳

yes <3:

another no-no for readability is INSIDE stroke or adding bevel/emboss to the text. pick bright, contrasting colors to the background or even clothes your characters are wearing so it’s not hard to read.

something a lil extra i also recommend is if your dialogue has different sentences and one ends and another one starts in the same line, continue it on another line. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE ok lets see:

the “Yes, maybe I went on [...]” continues on the first line, but to make it a bit easier to read just press enter and move it to the second line so it’s on it’s own line.

same thing for the "Be nice or [...]” line! it gets cut off to the third line anyways, so just put it in a singular line. final result:

for me, this is easier to read, less I GUESS ‘immersion breaking’  and easier on the eyes too.

and just other quick things to keep in mind:

will the post be horizontal or vertical? if its vertical, you have to angle and move the camera around keeping in mind you’re going to crop it later. yes, the scenary might be nice if its horizontal, but a lil vertical photo is cute!

best times for OUTDOOR lightning photos are 2pm-4pm. morning light is a bit too dark, 12 pm is the slightest too bright, but 2pm-4pm is just ENOUGH!!!

and thats all : ) i THINK i talked about most things screenies wise??? if you have questions, my askbox is always open : ) and remember these are just my opinions : )

[heyitsyn]

There Once Was A Man With No Arms-

Goshiki x Manager!Tendou!FirstYear!Sister!Reader

a/n: that was a mouthful

anon request: ahhh i loved your headcanons of iwaizumi dating oikawa's sister!!! this time, can i request goshiki x tendou's first year sis na manager din ng team nila? salamatttt hehe ingat ka lagiii💞

this cute little bowl cut babie

so you are the little baby sister of our favorite red hair cutie and he was the one who offered you the manager position

ofc you accepted bc hello, you get to hang out w your brother and tease semi-semi-senpai everyday

pls let semi live

everyone likes you though bc you are their manager and you do a lot of things for them even though you dont need to

like sometimes, you stop by the store and pick up all kinds of snacks and if its really hot, popsicles and ice cream

ushijima farmer-san is known to be quite stoic and serious but he’s pretty chill around you and even ruffles your hair whenever you make a stupid joke

as a tendou, you are basically like a ctrl+v  with your brother 

the same cute teasing and bubbly personality but the quick change to serious and demeaning

the team gets stressed, especially mom, bc he has to take care of not one red-head freak but two

but he liked you more though bc you were a first year and you were this short little pumpkin and you were so nice and just all around A D O R A B L E

but you just didnt rub goshiki the right way

maybe bc he thought you were just doing this as an act and no person could really be this bubbly and cheerful

or hes just jealous his senpais attention is directed to you

he will DIE FOR HIS SENPAIS

whenever he gets a good spike, you cheer him on and say things like, ‘nice spike, tsu-chan!’ and he swears youre just doing this bc you want to kill him with a heart attack and he doesnt like feeling like this but you like torturing him

boi what is with this logic

even though he lives for praises, your praises and compliments just hits different than his senpais

before he even realized it, he started all out glaring at you and tendou, being the overprotective brother he was, pointed him out on it

‘oi, little kouhai, you got a problem with our y/n?’

at the mention of your name you turned around from talking to the coach and everyone turned to goshiki, expecting him to answer

unfortunately you didnt hear what your brother said so you were just confused

‘hm? i read the room and i am not comfortable with the energy in the gym today’

someone snorted while goshiki turned red at the attention being on him with the topic of you so he just walks away back to the court

‘oh? what was that all about?’ 

semi shushes tendou and gives you a smile

‘y/n, can you help tossing the ball for us?’

you nodded and quickly ran to the chair and waddled over to put it by the net before standing on it

everyone turned red, including goshiki and even shirabu, and busted their uwus

‘okay! let’s go!’

youve always noticed tsutomu and his determination to beat ushijima which youve appreciated bc he was so hard-working and he was talented enough

‘good one, tsu-chan!’

‘t-thanks, y/n-san’

even when no one noticed it, you were always there to give him compliments and he always grows flustered and hes just a big idiot babie and doesnt realize that your praises makes his heart beat faster bc he thinks youre freaking pretty and someone pretty complimenting him in his spikes boosts his ego

but eventually, it grew on him

instead of looking around for any senpai to praise him, he now turned to you and you would give him that adorable smile and he would bite his lip to stop himself from running over and hugging the life out of you

then he remembers who your brother is, well more like how protective the boys were

‘waka-senpai, nii-chan got sick so he wants you to stop by his dorm later today!’

‘okay’

since you were their teammate’s sister, theyve known you for a while and watched you grow from being this little middle school girl to a first year high schooler 

you were practically their sister

goshiki went to a different middle school so he never really realized how the guys treated you so differently but he knew it would be difficult to win them over for your hand

oops wait what

this thought struck him just as he was drinking water and he ended up choking on water causing you to run over from talking to semi so you could pat his back

‘omg, tsu-chan, you need to be careful!’

this was only the beginning of weeks of being weird

like he was so distracted and different that shirabu actually yelled at him and refused to give him any tosses

‘you talk big about being the ace but the slightest distraction could cost you a match. are you really being serious about being the ace or is it all just talk?’

he got all sad and mopey and he had to sit on the bench 

goshiki never got benched

he was too good to be benched!

but he was and he did not like it

you went over to him and sat next to him

‘tsu-chan, can you follow me?’

he looked up from the floor and he shrugged before following you out of the door

the others watched their first years exit the gym and they contemplated following

but tendou, surprise!, actually stopped them

‘my sister can sort him out herself. trust me’

goshiki didnt exactly know where you were taking him to until you stopped by by the baseball field where there was mud

‘y/n-san, why-’

‘you always say my name formally, why is that? im a first year too, tsu-chan’

he looked down

‘um, i-i don’t know-’

‘y/n-chan, tsu-chan. try it out’

‘y-y/n-chan’

you squealed at how cute he looked w red ears and a red face but you refrained from hugging him

then you remembered why you brought him out

‘oh right! come here, tsu-chan!’

you took a branch from a nearby tree and encouraged him to crouch down with you as you began to draw on the mud

‘there was once a man with no arms-’

you started happily singing and this was when goshiki really realized the resemblance between you and your brother

you both were happy and cheerful bc you wanted to radiate the energy to the others to be happy too

and it worked

tendou’s funny songs and jokes always made the others laugh and you did too

goshiki was happy that he was able to absorb that energy and he soon completely forgot about shirabu’s comments

once you were done, you have drawn a dog on the mud and the boy was so amazed at the sudden creation

he looked up at you with wide eyes and you laughed with a wide grin at his expression

‘hehe, its cool, right? nii-chan showed me something like that before when i got sad and it made me happy again. i thought it would work on you too’

he might have questionable feelings around you bc when you mentioned being sad, he felt weird

like he was relieved he wasnt there to see you sad bc he couldnt take it seeing your usual grin into a frown and your bright shining eyes filled with tears

‘y/n-chan, when you get sad, call me, okay? so i can go to you and make you smile like you did with me’

your eyes widened in surprise but you nodded, your grin even wider

‘im counting on you, tsu-chan!’

and he did

when he received a call late at night from you, he easily snuck out from his dorm and ran to the baseball field where he saw your crouching figure aimlessly dragging the stick in circles

‘y/n-chan!’

he huffed and panted after running so fast and you looked up before running to hug him

‘im here now. youre okay’

you didnt release out your problems on him bc you didnt want to burden him

but he understood and just hugged you until you felt better enough to return to your crouching

goshiki hurriedly grabbed the stick and began to do the same thing you did for him before

‘then he jumped onto the lake and got stung by bees?’

he stopped and frowned, realizing he wasnt right

but the frown lifted when he heard your giggle

‘tsu-chan, he got stung by bees first and then he jumped on the lake!’

the corners of his mouth lifted and he chuckled

‘heh, i guess he did. but this is my version so listen closely, okay y/n-chan?’

this might be the reason you got close w the first year

the others noticed it too since you seem to pamper him and take more time taking care of him than them

like you even started wiping his sweat for him while he just giggles when you pull on the long strands of his hair

‘tsu-chan, i want to cut it!’

‘no, y/n-chan!’

‘but-!’

he grabbed your hands and your arms around his torso so he could do the same to you and gently tugged on the ends of your long hair

‘you too then, y/n-chan. your hair is long too’

you pouted then gently punched his chest

‘mean, tsu-chan’

‘heh?! mean?! how?!’

tendou is like the best big brother ever and hes just like ‘yuhhhh get it tsutomu!!!!’

eventually, goshiki began playing even better

his complete spike percentage has increased and his jumping has gotten higher

but the team predicts that this was all because he’s trying to show off to you and your praising and compliments have motivated him to play better

forget being ace, he just wants you to praise him

‘y/n-chan! y/n-chan! did you see that?’

‘wahh!!!! so cool, tsu-chan!!”

bus trips to matches are so cute but yall lowkey annoy the players a bit

yall sit next to each other and are just leaning together as you giggle over stupid cat videos

like we get, goshiki is getting some quicker than us

i feel like before moving on to relationships, goshiki and you would be best friends first and then move on to the dating stuff

tbh, theres no difference bc yall have always been like that but theres just an offical label now

‘hey, tsu-chan, wanna date?’

‘u-um,, sure?’

yall would hang out in either his dorm or yours and yall would be alone bc the team actually trusts you but you dont know that they pass by the door ever 5 minutes and listen in to just to make sure yall are not doing anything bad

smh they so nosy but we luv them

you know of his insecurities about not being enough and his fears of not being the ace and his dreams of playing to the big leagues and his passion to continue playing on the court for as long as he can and how excited he is to be able to spend all those years with you

he knows of your insecurities about the way you look and being associated with your apparent freak of a brother but you didnt care about that and even fought someone when they said something and your deep protectiveness for the boys, especially your brother but it’s all because the boys were the ones to accept you with open arms and treat you like family

yall shared a lot of secrets amongst yourselves and tbh, your communication is just *chefs kiss*

so serious fights dont happen, like ever, just stupid little arguments that are usually resolved like an hour later

since youre also a manager, its also your job to make sure the boys are maintaining their good grades and you know that shira-senpai has given up on tutoring tsutomu

i mean,,, goshiki is smart but he gets distracted easily and ends up spacing out during lessons

yknow?

thats when the little arguments bc youd be trying to teach him the damn phythagorean theorem and hed be distracted at how come your hair was styled like that today

‘goshiki tsutomu, i will leave your ass to fail right now if you dont stop touching my hair’

‘but babyyyyyy’

‘no, ‘dont baby’ me, you idiot! you’ll be crying like a baby when you fail and you’re bench during the next game!’

oof also!

hes a protective little babie and he gets jealous easily so whenever yall have games, he literally hangs all over you 

like he makes a show of putting his jacket over you and kissing your forehead so that the other teams know to stop looking over at your direction and whispering about you

ofc this gets on your nerves but you cant help but think how cute he looks when he gets jealous

he gets all pouty and touchy and youre just like, take my uwus you big babie

even tendou is like, ‘im her brother yet hes more protective than me’

he demands to be hugged 24/7 but thats not appropriate if youre in public so he ltr drags you outside and away from people just so he could hug you

he likes hugging you bc youre shorter than him and it makes him feel all special and soft since you like to burrow your face into his chest and your sweater paws are just like ugggggghhhhhhhhh

whenever he gets nervous, you kiss his fingers and his knuckles bc it soothes him and youre just his good luck charm and he feels like he can take over the world w a single kiss from you

‘baby, didja see that?! i was so cool, right?!’

‘so proud of you, tsu-chan! youre so cool!’

‘i love y/n like a sister but if she inflates his ego more, i will have to tape her mouth’

can you guess who said that?

overall a relationship i strive for and i really want a goshiki now thanks byeeeeeee

a/n: ngl goshiki’s hair lowkey triggered me when i first saw him bc why the heck does it look like that?! but now i actually like it on him and i cant imagine any other hairstyle fitting him

[muwur]

Since requests were open I was wondering if I could request father headcanons for iwai + ushi + atsumu 🥺 btw your writing is vv tasty n I can’t wait to see you write more !! Keep up the good work n stay safe !!

haikyuu daddee headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for iwaizumi, ushijima, and atsumu

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.4k words

a/n: omg u called my writing taSTY Dx i cri tySM 💞 that is a high compliment for me AHAHAHAH ILY and ty for the request! 

also my lovelies i m back i m sry i was gone so long feojfe i miss yall <3 here u go enjoi, this was fun to write lmk if yall want more characetrs AHAHA

current listen: accidentally in love by sHREK AAHAH jkjk i mean counting crows, they cant take that away from me by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong, love the way you lie by eminem and rihanna

requests: open!

iwaizumi

✧ prePARED daddy

✧ picked up on this parenting thing p fast, also does a lot of research so he’s ready to face any situation

✧ teaches his kids how to behave n respect others

✧ also makes sure they know not to talk to strangers and teaches them some self defense

✧ be warned these kids are packing a surprise can of whOOP ASS,, dont fuck w them,, plus u wouldnt want buff daddee iwa on ur tail

✧ honestly his kids would be ANGELS ,,, n thats cuz he treats them all so w e l l

✧ mans is ATTENTIVE. he asks his kids about their days, their interests, and encourages discussion about their fEELINGS 🥺

✧ always offers them really valuable and light-hearted advice

✧ and gives them the love and transparency we all wanted but never had--

✧ however his kids are easily (n negatively) influenced esp when uncle oikawa comes to visit--

✧ but mostly bc iwa gets annoyed and slips out a lot of curse words and a “shittykawa” and then his kids started calling oikawa that and now it’s ingrained in them forever fjoefefgfvi (*distant phlattykawa crying noises*)

✧ gives them LOTS of head pats and ruffles as signs of affection

✧ PACKS THEIR SCHOOL LUNCHES and ensures they eat a balanced meal

✧ attends all their games/events,, will get a bit rowdy hype them up

✧ def lets his kids sleep with him when they’re having a bad night or woke up scared from a nightmare (and waits for them to fall asleep before going to sleep himself fojref)

✧ when they were babies he usually succeeded to get them to stop crying by pulling funny faces, showing them their favorite cartoons, or humming a lullaby

✧ when they get older,,, u bet iwa would be suPER protective esp when their kids start being iNtErEsTeD in other people

✧ you: “iwaizumi, they seem like a really nice kid, though”

✧ iwa: *sitting with you in the car, across the street from the ice cream parlor your child said they were at, and spying from the window* “you can’t trust everyone, of course they seem ‘nice,’ they just want our approval”

✧ definitely did not interrupt his child’s potential first kiss at their house’s doorstep by slamMINg the door open “sUDDENLY” cuz he “hEard TheIR vOicEs and THougHt TO lET them In”

✧ effectively traumatized both kids

✧ tho he felt bad after n u made him go apologize so he did (and he was forgiven, only if he agreed to never spy on them again--)

✧ doesn’t stop him from scrutinizing every person yalls kid introduces to you tho

✧ overall a super supportive dad, 11/10

ushijima

✧ ok dEF does not know much about parenting ,, at first

✧ stared at his child like ???nani when you both changed their first diaper

✧ also had plenty of staring contests with his babies ,,, called it bonding

✧ was curious and tasted baby food once,,, immediately regretted it

✧ once put a volleyball next to his child, who attempted to bite it, and took it as a sign that they liked it

✧ after sum time n practice, his mind becomes split between “how to volleyball” and “how to dad”

✧ catch him in the kitchen wearing an apron and whipping up his kids’ favorite smiley face pancakes 😤😤

✧ has an amazing ability to get his kids to stop crying, does really simple things like give them their favorite toy or place a gentle hand on their hand or attend to their needs (mans can tell if they want food or needa poop) and they calm down immediately

✧ carried them on his shoulders once and now they never stop asking him for shoulder rides (not that he minds anyway)

✧ if theres two kids he can probs carry one on each shoulder cuz cmon ,,, have u seen this man

✧ always goes to every performance/game/event his child takes part in

✧ man smiles so soft™ when he goes to the 1st grade play and sees his kid’s name in the program next to their role as “townsperson b” (next year, they upgraded to “singing carrot” in a play about the food pyramid)

✧ if his kid ends up enjoying volleyball, he will teach them e v e r y t h i n g they need to know

✧ but is overall super supportive of anything else his child pursues and doesn’t push anything onto them, would rather let them choose what they want to do

✧ had n o idea what to do when his kid asked him about the birds n the bees asfghkl

✧ couldnt sleep one night thinking about it and just randomly asks you while yall laying in bed in the dARk like “so our child asked me how babies are made and I told them they came from watermelon seeds” (you: 👁️👄👁️ “come again”)

✧ you: *at the grocery store with your child*

✧ child: *hands you watermelon* “I want a little brother!”

✧ you: “haha of course honey” 👁️👄👁️ what do i do (*later to ushijima* “duhfojhguf we needa get another baby i promised our child a younger brother fohurof” ; ushi: “wat” ; you: “itS YOUR FAULT”)

✧ yall eventually tell them not every watermelon can produce babies only really special ones that are really hard to get fhuoefkfotfi theyre not ready for the truth

✧ another great daddee, we stan

atsumu

✧ knew parenting was stressful esp with bABieS but was like eh it cant be that bad right

✧ think again

✧ g o o d b y e  s l e e p

✧ develops phat bags under his eyes, responds with a weak “aha im fine just that parenting life and the kids ykNOW” whenever his teammates ask if he’s oKAY

✧ tried to tempt his kids to eat their mush baby food by trying it himself, nearly gagged but was able to say “eughh yuMM”

✧ loves to lift them high up in the air, even throws them up a little and nearly drops them (yall almost died from feAR but babie was having so much fun,,, yall agreed to be just a bit more careful)

✧ rlly bad at getting them to stop crying, gets very stressed when he’s exhausted every option he can think of then calls you over for some help/advice (you: *immediately calms them down* ; ratsumu: “how--”)

✧ calls up osamu a lot to ask him how to make food ,, then simps whenever his twin brother comes over and the kids are in love with this man and his cooking (”dad why cant you make stuff as yummy as this”)

✧ very affectionate with his kids, gives them lots of hugs and kisses on the forehead

✧ plays with them a lot! whether it’s sports, just dance, animal crossing, or UNO, yOU NAME IT WE PLAY IT

✧ also has no mercy when playing competitive video or board games,, has made them cry more than once LOL

✧ so sometimes he toned it down n let them win,, until his kids actually got better and DEMOLISH him every time

✧ is cool with his kids cursing, just as long as they don’t do it in front of their teachers LMAO

✧ plays innocent when he gets a call from school saying his kid was using ‘inappropriate language’ and is like “whaaat? my child? im not even sure where they learned that, maybe check if the other kids in class are saying those things, too--”

✧ reminisces how much nicer his kids were to him when they were younger and all the time they spent together,,, bc now that they reached their tEeNS they want alone time

✧ wants to be B) cool dad so he tries kinda hard, esp in front of their friends but his kid’s just like dad pls dofjrgjigtgro

✧ also very supportive of whatever his kids want to pursue and dedicates time to help them in whatever ways he can (whether that be to help them practice, make sure he can provide transportation, get them supplies, etc)

✧ always playfully competing with you to see who’s the “better” parent (you win by default)

✧ PROTECTIVE dad and will easily intimidate ANYONE who crosses his kids

✧ takes sum adjustment and mental resilience but daddee atsumu perseveres  😤 absolutely loves his kids and would do anything for them  

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Can u do a Tom Holland x black actress reader( plays black cat ) has to dye hair silver they are costars in ffh now they are in Spider-Man 3 and they were fwb and now there filming Spider-Man 3 ( they all live in the same house ) and she gets pregnant but ends up having a miscarriage 🥺 and she only tells one person ( zendaya ) and z accidentally tells Tom and he goes crazy on set and security has to get him and he starts yelling at you he gets heated maybe ending in fluff.

THIS IS NOT MY BEST WORK BUT I DID TRY! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK- REQUESTS ARE CLOSED BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE-

Summary: oof

Warnings: fighting, 🔴TW MISCARRIAGE🔴 (bleeding, stomach pains) flushing toilets, people who thought wrong, crying, snapping, fluff, NOT PROOF READ- SORRY I DONT HAVE ANY OTHER PICS THIS IS SOOO LONG- FOR WHY?

You smiled as you looked at the test, thinking about having a child, until you thought about how Tom would feel. You bit your lip as you wrapped the test in toliet paper and threw it in the trash, you stood up and lifted your underwear and pants, very much excited and you washed your hands smiling to yourself in the mirror, you exited the bathroom and laid down with Tom again, he wrapped his arms around your waist “morning” he whispered, kissing your nose. “Morning” you smile, kissing his lips as he was to lazy to kiss back.

“I’m kinda hungry, I’m gonna go in the kitchen” “alright” he he let you go and you went to the kitchen, finding zendaya with the milk in her hand. “Hey” she smiled. “Hi” you shyly said. “What’s going on?” She asked, confused at your words, you quickly sat down next to her. “Well I know you don’t know this so don’t say anything, but I’m pregnant-“ “and who’s the dad?” You sighed before anwsering “Tom”. Her mouth fell agape as she overfilled the bowl and started flowing out. “I- what?” She whispered. “Toms the father” you whispered.

“Do you think he’d be happy?” She says, putting the milk down. “I don’t know” you shrugged. “I’m hoping that he will be-“ “good morning!” Haz says walking in looking at you both as you waved. “Welp we have work soon, we need to dye your hair” “then let’s do it at home!” You smiled, zendaya and haz looking at you as if your crazy. “Do you wanna be bald?” Harrison asked. “Shut up I trust you guys” “but we don’t trust ourselves”

You and Tom had a bond that nobody had, it’s nice honestly, you both started to be fwb whenever, I forgot so I can’t tell you. You killed the audition, had the perfect body, you were just perfect, you and zendaya became instant best friends, Jacob embarrassed himself infront of you which made you bond and haz and you got an emotional connection pretty fast.

“ITS BURNING!” you yelled, turning on the cold water and putting your head under it. “God dammit y/n I told you we shouldn’t have done this” Harrison rolls his eyes. Tom helps you rinse it out, massaging your scalp as he silently laughed at you “if you end up bald we still love you” he commented. “Don’t even Tom” you rolled your eyes, butterflies in your stomach.

It went magnificent! You flat ironed your hair as everyone high fives at their work dancing around you as you moved your waist. You and the rest of the crew went to your dressing rooms, Tom came to yours to get dressed with you. “You look amazing” he complamented, you look at yourself in the mirror, smiling to yourself as you told him thank you, he came behind you and gave a squeeze to your boobs as you let out a shriek. “Ow!” You say grabbing them. “Did I squeeze to hard? What- I squeeze you the same all the time!” He panicked, wondering why your boobs were so tender. “It’s fine they just hurt” you waved it off. “Why?” He asked, “I’m gonna start my period soon” you lied, he nodded at you and ask you to zip him up which you did.

“Alright!” The set manager says, you got ready, on a fake roof about to flip down. “And-“ the person snapped the take part and it was your time to shine.

Black cat flipped down meeting. “Peter Parker is it?” She asked hands behind her back as she walked around Spider-Man. “No- I’m Spider-Man” “stop lying, your boring me already” she said, rolling her eyes. “You sound like someone familiar- Felicia?” He asked, looking at her. “Peter?” She laughed.

“This doesn’t make any sense, your nice!” “And this isn’t nice? Sometimes being nice doesn’t get you anywhere” “look at where it got me!” He yelled raising his arms up like he’s a big shot. “You suck man” she only said. He webbed her hand a punched her in the stomach, making her groan and swipe his feet, climbing ontop of him and starting to claw his face,

“And scene!” You rolled off of him and next to him “nice job” you said. “Pound it” he whispered, raising his fist which you agreed, you gave him a fist bump.

As the week went by you got mood swings, you and Tom hasn’t had sex because you were to fragile, you were currently laying down with zendaya on your phone, silently chatting through text messages. You stomach started to cramp, slowly, as it turned into severe stomach pain, “fuck!” You shouted, holding your stomach. Zendaya placed her phone down as she looked at you “what’s wrong?” “Shit shit shit!” You screamed, clutching your stomach tightly, falling off the bed, holding onto the sheets with your free hand. “Y/n talk to me! What’s wrong?” Tears filled down your face “I-I don’t know- OW!” You sobbed as your stomach cramped more, looking down at your white leggings and seeing blood leaking out of it, zendaya quickly came out of bed and looked at your figure, taking your hand and pulling you to the bathroom, she helped you pull down your pants and your underwear, a bloody mess as you continued to cry, stomach to cramped to even sit down on the toliet.

“I can’t zendaya” you cried, “you have to sit down y/n, use the bathroom” you sat down on the toliet, pushing out something, it didn’t feel like you were pooping, it felt like something slipped out. You gasped as you tried making it leave out of you, squeezing zendayas hands for support as you cried more. “Zendaya?” You asked weakly. “Yes” she replied, worried about you. “Something doesn’t feel right” you looked in the toliet and so did zendaya, finding something in there, someone in there. You closed your legs and weeped, “my baby” you whispered, to desvesistated to talk out loud you didn’t let go of the word baby so quickly, zendaya fell down to her knees and hugged you, hearing your loud cries, sobs, just begging for air, for hope, like that wasn’t what just came out of you. “Zendaya-“ you sobbed “my- my baby” she only hugged you tighter. She started to cry with you, her face in your neck as you cried weakly, the blood in the toliet and the loss of your child. “I’m so sorry- I’m so sorry” she repeated, you held onto her, or at least trying to, your hands shaking as you sucked in your lip. She kissed your cheek on repeat, holding on to you so tight as you were shocked, everything went so fast, only a week past, you couldn’t even comprehend what just happened. It all went down to your stomach, your fear, your anxiety, it was all quaking.

You pushed zendaya away as you threw up in the shower right next to it, almost choking on it, you tried to breath and zendaya helped, “count-count y/n” she reminded you, she counted with you, slowly in and out as you calmed down. “Do you wanna flush?” She asked quietly. “Yeah” you sighed, you got up, pulling up your pants and looking at the small, very small body, you swallowed and zendaya took your hand, signaling you aren’t alone, your shaking hand heastantly flushed the toliet, she pulled you in for a tight hug. “Your gonna take a bath, I’m gonna clean you up and we won’t talk about it”she whispered. “I have to clean it up” “no I will, just go ahead on your room and I’ll set you up for a bath” she whispered. You let her go slowly and made quickly made way to your room, it was no one their but you and zendaya but that’s embarrassing.

You swallowed thickly as you waited for zendaya, mentally counting and zendaya came in, turning on your bath and running it to a tempeture, a nice one. “Hey can you clean yourself up before you get in the bath?” She asked and you nodded, taking care of yourself as zenday stood outside waiting for you. “I’m ready” you whispered, but loud enough for zendaya to hear, you went inside the bathtub, hugging your legs and resting your head on your knees. Zendaya grabbed a wash cloth, dipping it in the water and gently runner it over your back. “I know your not okay but if you need something I’m here, I’m right here” she reminded you, you only nodded as silent tears ran down your face. She continued to rinse you off, taking her time, she rinsed your hair, droplets falling down in the water. You both heard the alarm, someone coming in.

“Take your time, I’ll be right back” she dropped the towel in the water, gonna go see who it is. She left and you sat there, tears still strolling down your face “out of everyone it had to be me” you whispered, crossing your arms as you looked at the ceiling. Maybe this is what you get, maybe this is what you deserve, at least that’s what you thought. Everything happens for a reason? What reason? You quietly cried, covering your mouth to not make any noise. “Y/n?” Zendaya asked, coming in the bathroom. “Yeah?” You whispered. “He wants to see you, I didn’t tell him, he just wants to say hi, I tried to tell him that your doing something important but he says he’s gonna come up here himself soon” she whispered, sniffling. You nodded and she handed you your robe, getting up slowly and holding onto zendaya for support again, stepping out as she looked away, you put on the robe and zendaya said she’ll take care of it again, you put your hair in a bun.

You grabbed a towel to dry your legs and your arms, slowly making your way down you saw Tom, smiling at you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “Hiii” he said, rocking you side to side and laughing, but you couldn’t, you just held onto him tighter. “What’s wrong?” He asked, you only started to cry right infront of him, you couldn’t help it, he was clueless. “Nothing” you said. “Ohhh your on your period, I forgot about that, I’ll cuddle you if that’s what you want..” he smiled and you nodded, giving a weak smile. He set his stuff down and grabbed your hand to pull you to his room, you sat on the bed as he took off his shirt and pants, shoes and socks, and laid down with you, taking you into his arms silently, holding you tighter and kissing your forehead, comforting you.

Zendaya opened the door to say something to Tom, not knowing that you were their, from her point of view it looked as if you both were crying and holding onto each other, she closed the door and moved on with her day, she still wants to be there for you but you and Tom need your space.

“Has y/n changed to you?” Tom asked zendaya, both in their suits and outfit. “I mean yeah but we both know why, she’s going through a traumatic period” Tom was confused. “What why?” “What do you mean why... she had a miscarriage- the same day she started crying- I thought she told you-“ zendaya stopped middle sentence “fuck” she whispered. “What the fuck are you talking about zendaya?” He asked, harshly. “Nothing” zendaya remained silent. “So your telling me she had a fucking miscarriage and kept it a secret for two weeks?” Tom said, mostly to himself. “Don’t be hard on her, she’s in a depressing state Tom” zendaya sighed, looking down. “How am i- you know what” he turned around to you, across the room on your phone leaning against the wall, he walked up to you.

“Why the fuck would you tell me” he whispered. “What?” you asked, looking at him. “Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me?” Tom repeated, getting impatient. “What are you talking about?” You asked, turning off your phone and looking up at him, in fear. “Fuck- look I’m trying to be quiet with you” he banged his fist on the wall next to your head, your eyes started to water. “What are you talking about Tom?” You ask again. “Stop playing dumb!” He said harshly, causing attention to both of you. You jumped “Tommy what are you talking about?” You try to calm him down by placing a hand on his cheek, but he slapped it away, pure hatred filled his eyes. “Don’t fucking Tommy me!” He yelled and you jumped again, the tears falling down your cheeks know, his lips in a tight line. “Why the fuck. Wouldnt you. Tell. Me” you only stayed silent, he banged the wall again screaming at you, ‘why wouldn’t you tell me’ ‘for two weeks? You sat here for two weeks!’’

You tried backing up but you were against the wall, the security grabbed one of his arms while another latched on his other one. He just kept screaming at you, looking in his eyes as tears started to fall down his cheeks, trying to lunge at you, get an answer out of you, you feel down the wall as Tom was backed out, know falling to his knees “y/n, why would you tell me?” He whispered desperate. “I’m so sorry” you said crying in your arms as Harrison came over to you, soon zendaya to. “What happened?” Haz asked, you only cried more, slightly choking on your spit. Just repeating ‘I’m so sorry’ as Tom still tried to reach out to you.

As time passed they got you out of there, and into the house, you sat there in your room, Harrison and zendaya talking outside, crying and crying, your eyes stung and your tears hot, lips dry, sniffling trying to not cry anymore but it was forcing itself out of you. Zendaya stepped in and Harrison followed, sitting next to you and a head on each of your shoulders, you chewed on your lip. “Tom didn’t know what he was thinking, you are okay I promise he won’t hurt you anytime”

Haz whispered to you, rubbing your back as you slowly calmed down. “Out of everyone it was me, I-I don’t know why, I deserve it don’t I? I shouldn’t have anything” “no don’t say that” zendaya shut you up. “Don’t talk down about yourself, it isn’t healthy” “well having a miscarriage isn’t either, but that still happened” “it’s common y/n, your gonna be okay, next time it’ll work” Harrison reassures, smiling up at you and you nodded. Your lip quivered, “what do I say? How do I make it up to him? I kept it for two weeks” you whispered. “Would he ever wanna see me again? We were never together in the first place” you sighed. “He’s gonna be so happy to see you” zendaya said, rubbing your back. “You don’t know th-that” “yes I do, isn’t that right Harrison?” “She always knows, she’s like the writer of our lives, we she made us, it’s true” Harrison laughed, making you silently chuckle. “Seeeee!” Zendaya smiled.

“She didn’t tell me though” Tom said, beer on the coffee table. “How was she supposed to idiot! Oh hi Tom by the way I had a miscarriage” he faked your voice. “Yes! Exactly like that” Tom rolled his eyes. “You have no right to tell someone what to do with their lives, that’s not okay” Harry snapped. “Two weeks? Two fucking weeks! Try that! I could’ve been with her! We could’ve tried again, I was gonna be a father” he sadly sighed. “We could’ve went through it together-“ “your being selfish” “how?” “Who’s the one who carries the baby?” Harry asked, Tom hesitantly said “her” “who’s the one who can actually go through depression?” “Her” he whispered. “Exactly, so stop acting like your the victim when really she is” Tom only swallowed and took the beer for a sip. “Don’t talk to her, give her her time but don’t ignore her either” Harry gave the solution and Tom nodded, dreaming about it for a minute. “Buy her something, like a basket of something” he shrugged.

“I was gonna be a dad Harry” he whispered, biting his lip. “I know that, but somethings aren’t just meant to be” Tom looked at Harry and eyed him from his seat. “How are you gonna tell me it’s not fuckin meant to be? You don’t know shit, I’ll have a child with her one day, no matter how many times I have to fuck her, bust in her, I don’t care, fuck off” he scolded, picking up the beer and walking into the kitchen “thanks for the advice, I’ll put it into some good use” he mumbled, throwing the bottle away as Harry just shrugged as he watched Tom grab his keys and his coat, leaving out the door.

He was gonna give you your space while he bought a few things for you, including essentil oils, daisies, and a type writer with a huge pack of paper for it. He told the people he wasn’t really feeling the best and he had something to really take care of, which they really respected. He took his time driving home, not knowing what to say, he just won’t say anything he guessed.

You were slowly eating your food, haz made you a fruit bowl with some chocolate on the side, nothing to big but a little to make you feel better, you zoned out and z looked out you. “You think she’s ever gonna get past this?” She asked, haz shrugged “I mean she needs support” “it’s my fault though” she looked at haz. He raised his eyebrows at her. “I- I accidently told him, I thought he already knew” she looked down is disappointment. “Then it isn’t your fault, you didn’t know” haz shrugged as zendaya let out a soft sigh, biting her lip as she laid down taking in the silence.

The door opened slowly but the alarm gave it away, Tom walked in, his black shoes stepping in first. You jumped a bit looking infront of you and finding Tom, your anxiety raised through the roof, your hands shaking as you let go of the fruit. “Hey” he said, two bags in his hand as he walked past all of you and went to your room, setting them down. When he came back down he slowly walked to you, not saying any words as you got up and sat in the seat farthest from him, leaving the fruit there, he sighed and only came closer, holding out his hand for you to take, you looked at his hand then at him, what would he do? How does he feel? All these thoughts went through your head, what if’s, what nots. “Please?” He whispered, you swallowed. Putting your hand in his, he lifted you up and traced you to your room.

When you made it you started to speak. “I-“ he cut you off by his hand over your mouth, trying to take off your shirt as you looked at him confused, he only tugged softly, you raised your arms and he pulled it up and over your head, throwing it on the floor, he unbuckled your pants pulling them down, you took out your legs and covered yourself, although you were covered and he’s seen you before, but know it was just different, everything changed. He started to take off his clothes, once he was finished he closed the door and went to your blinds, closing them. He walked up to you and took your hand away, holding onto it and pulling you to your bed, you looked at him and he looked at you, pure silence but you know what he wanted, you laid down and he did infront of you, pulling your hand around his waist.

You both just breathed, his hand holding your wrist and your head on his back, legs under his. His back started to lift and drop as he exhaled roughly, you kissed his back. He broke down. Tears falling down his cheeks as he silently sniffled, you went over him, laying infront of him and he pulled you closer, hugging tightly as hips pressed his forehead to yours. You brushed your hands on his arm, his tears not stopping as he bit his lip, looking at you he shook his head a little. “I’m so sorry” he whispered weakly, and to that you wrapped your leg around his leg, your arm circled around his neck as he continued to cry in your chest, you kissed his head as silent tears ran down your face, looking at the picture of you both in your night stand, his body shaking from him crying and his rough and cold hands holded onto your back, “it’s okay, we can try again” you whispered “we can try again” you repeated, he looked up at him and nodded softly “do you wanna be together? Do you actually want a kid? We’ve only been friends with benefits, we can’t just bring a kid to the table... right?” He mumbled, his voice hoarse.

“Only if you want to” “I do” you nodded at him, agreeing and he hid back in your chest, taking in your scent and how comforting it is. It’s surprising, weren’t you the one who had the miscarriage? Why were you holding him? It didn’t matter, at least you had each other. You both dreamed of it for a while, being together, a small kid in the middle of you both while you sleep, Christmas and how he’d be glowed up to see aunt and uncle zendaya and haz, or even god parents. But the main picture was you two, as long as you to are together nothing can go wrong, he took his hand and brought it to yours, playing with it silently and holding onto it, looking up to you and finding you already asleep, he kissed your lips and squeezed your hand, tired himself.

[zodiac-monkey]

HELLOOOOOO!!! ;;W;; some time ago i received a PRECIOUS TREASURE BOX from @furubazine!!!!!

it’s PINK and has beautiful pictures on the cover inside of cute little riceball shapes!!!! 🍙🍙🍙🍙 it has a gentle, thankful feeling to look at, like looking into a window on all the seasons and the warm scenes of friendship and family--the words printed on simple, solid white feel so solemn and grateful all at once T--T i can’t stress enough that the presentation of this zine is GORGEOUS, everything is so carefully and beautifully packaged that i really feel like every item is a precious treasure that is looked after with loving care..!! \;;A;;/

SADLY THERE WAS TAPE ON THIS PART OF THE BOX and even though i was trying to handle it very carefully i am terribly clumsy and bad with boxes and accidentally injured this poor box!!! ;;A;; I AM SORRY!!!!! I WILL APOLOGIZE TO THIS BOX!!!!!! I WILL APOLOGIZE TO THE WORLD!!!!!!! m(__  __)m

look at this gorgeous collection of treasures!!! ;;w;; i feel like there should be sparkles flowing out as i open this, everything is so carefully and charmingly arranged and feels so cozy together!!! TwT

BEAUTIFUL RAT YUKI SAYING SUKI DESU IS SENDING ME OMG IM CRYING;;;; WHAT A GORGEOUS PIN WHAT A GORGEOUS BABY;;;;; ALL THE MERCH IS PRECIOUS WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ZINE AHHHHH;;;; \T/////T/

they sent me this beautiful thank-you note with a tiny adorable furuba trio on it!!! the lettering is so gorgeous and fancyyyy!! \;;A;;/ thank YOU for letting me be a part of this incredibly special and heartfelt project!!! >////< i really really enjoyed working on it, everyone was so nice and relaxed and supportive of each other--it’s an absolute joy and honor!!!!! T////T

THEY EVEN WROTE ME A LITTLE SPECIAL NOTE IN THEIR OWN HANDWRITING!!!!! \;;A;;/ IM CRYING WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS OMG???? they are the ones who are kind people!!!! T////T thank YOU so much for your hard work putting together so many beautiful treasure boxes for all of us!! ;;A;; they said nice things about my picture that’s sooo sweet im so happy they thought it was pretty!!!! >////<

also they even told me not to be embarrassed about what i love!!! /)/////(\ wahhhhh!!!! it even has a little heart too!! i suppose this is because i said something in the discord server about feeling embarrassed for drawing cross-dressing all the time ;;A;; this is so extremely thoughtful and considerate of them to remember!!!! thank you so much for such kindness please take all of these hearts too!!!! />/////</💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

the zine itself is gorgeous!! the cover art by lluluchwan feels so peaceful and warm--i love how the light falls on them through the sunlit flowers, so restful and bright, and tohru’s smile fills my heart with warmth and gratitude!! ;;w;;

the merch comes in these precious little cherry blossom pouches and the postcards even come in a package with a window to see how beautiful they are!! it’s like a little sleeping bag just their size!! ;;w;;

i LOVE this foil postcard by @magesup​ it’s SO gorgeous?? everyone crossing the bridge together with the blooming cherry blossoms is so precious, like everyone is moving together towards happiness!! ;;w;;

akito is leading the march and kyo and tohru at the back look so happy together, momiji’s energy is so precious (even if kisa seems a little shy or surprised by it), ayame being extra and hatori putting up with it as usual, shigure probably making some joke to kureno and kagura full of energy as usual, rin is leaning over the bridge away from the others--she and hiro look a little aloof about everyone’s commotion--but yuki looks so lively and engaged talking with haru, and even ritsu seems calm and at peace! (RITSUUUUU!!!!!!! IM SO HAPPY TO SEE RITCHAN HERE!!! \;;U;;/)

everyone is so beautiful and their personalities really shine!!! AND LOOK HOW THE BRIDGE IS SHINING GOLD!!!! i had no idea it would be like that, it’s so beautiful!!!! \TwT/

OMG LOOK HOW THE FOIL PICTURE FRAMES SHINE!!!! \;;O;;/ i LOVE how this work by AmySunHee showcases so many of the characters and moments of the series, with tohru clasping her hands in front of them all like every one is precious to her!! the gold really makes it feel like each one is a treasure!! ;;O;;

BABY TOHRU WITH HER PARENTS MY HEART!!!! T---T EVEN THE LITTLE GRANDPA AT TOHRU’S ELBOW and even akito is close to tohru, she cares no matter what ;A; momiji looks so peaceful playing his violin, the little flowers!! kagura glomping kyo, his expression is CLASSIC, haru and rin together look picture perfect sitting back to back, and kisa and hiro match perfectly in their outfits!! hana and uo and the student council, the mabudachi trio and mine showing off ayame--even the yuki fanclub is there AND OMG THAT PHOTO OF KYO AND YUKI HATORI TOOK,, THEY JUST HAD TO FRAME THAT.. he even got their question marks in the photo sfhsgdhg AND RITSU IS THERE IM SO HAPPY in classic form i love the expression!! the ornate detailing on all the frames is gorgeous!!! T////T i love the exquisite patterns so carefully carved into them!!

THE CHARMS HAVE LITTLE CAT RINGS HOW CUTE IS THAT?!!! >/////< each charm is like looking in on a little scene, i love them!! the kyo and yuki buttons by lulu are just gorgeously soft and precious, and i love the motion in the petals and leaves in the buttons by hackwolfin, i can feel the different moods and seasons in each one, from cheerful to melancholy ;;A;; AND kyo sleeping with tiny riceball and rat yuki on the enamel pin--AGAIN HOW CUTE IS THIS!!! T////T HOW CAN ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING BE SO PRECIOUS!!!! \;;A;;/

EVERYTHING IS SO SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL IM CRYING???!!! the die-cut stickers by samairu are so gorgeously detailed and smooth, i love how close and cozy the characters look framed in the circle windows, and the rich colors really make me feel the bright spring day and deep autumn night!

the school defense force stickers by sleepy-crayonn are so expressive, i love how each character portrait shows their personalities matched with a season, and the hilarious mini reaction images?! XD the little festival stickers by dewream are sooo precious everyone is so soft and cute and tiny!!! >////< (TRUE TO HIS NATURE KYO CAUGHT A FISH) tohru is so happy and i love how gracefully yuki holds that fan!!

this postcard by @lumiiki​ is just SHEER JOY AND BRIGHTNESS everyone so happy together on a sunny day, the boys looking on contentedly at tohru with her arms full of flowers as she just radiates happiness!! i love the detail in her flowers and straw hat, the strong shading makes it feel like the sun is really really bright!! TuT

@vitaminpop​‘s art style is so ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS i treasure these tiny little furuba cards so much???? everyone is SO SOFT i love the light inner outlines and highlights around the edges, tohru here with a big smile and flowers for everyone, yuki with this sweet little smile so tenderly holding the fresh strawberries he put so much work into growing himself, covered in dirt still from tending them but radiating this soft joy from the care he’s poured in T---T kyo so casually eating his food his big unconcerned eyes are so precious, shigure just taking his hat off like he’s come in from the cold, his smile is so soft;;

im blessed with all of these treasures omg!!! \T////T/

WAHHHH im so honored that my picture was put right next to the page for autumn?? \;;A;;/ thank you so much im sooo happy!! it looks so light and soft next to the soft leaves falling on the title page!! ;;/////;;

(of course looking at it in print im filled with thoughts like “maybe i should have left in more of the white border” and “i seem to have forgotten again that my monitor shows colors as more pink than they really are” BUT DONT WE ALL....)

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN for letting me be a part of this project, it’s so absolutely beautiful and heartfelt and im so thrilled and honored that i could contribute!!! >/////< thank you soooo much!!!! \;;W;;/

[lavendersage]

i saw that post from the girl who's girlfriend isn't quite ready to be out. if ur blog didnt seem to celebrate love of all kinds (and i'm not talking straight vs gay, i'm talking happy vs sad) i would have kept this to myself, but between ur response and the op's story itself, i think im going to take this chance of sharing a burden on my heart, maybe to help someone else, or just for the shot at becoming at peace with it. a couple weeks ago, when u asked for everyone to send u stories of their lovers, i wrote most of this out but didnt send it.

i (21F) am a college student (god, is this reddit?). my entire life, i have cultivated the cleanest good girl image that i could. my parents sacrificed so much for my sister and i to grow up far more comfortable then they did, so i have tried to honor them with a little golden child they could brag about. straight As, never missed school, did community service, perfect SATs. i worked tirelessly to be on-paper perfect.

one of the reasons i've worked so hard to earn Good Noodle Stars is to make up for the fact that i am terminally homosexual. i realized real early that i could literally cure cancer and the first comment on the news video will be, "okay, she cured cancer, but at least I'm not gay like she is." i could raise thousands for charity, and my aunts would still say, "our kids may not get off the couch but at least they have sex correctly." so they dont know. few people do, none outside my closest circle.

in walks Mars(21NB). Mars is an anachronism. they are both a romantic with and without a capital R. be still my Dark Academia heart.

we got very close before school broke for Covid. Mars wrote me a letter every other week, encrypted and folded so that the only way to open them was to rip a paper seam that would show if someone had tampered with it. it was intoxicating. it was the first time i felt able to communicate freely about anything. i dont know - i didnt hold back my emotions, emboldened by writing in cipher. i spent all summer waiting for those red sealed envelopes, filled with stories and poetry and honeyed nonsense, and i refused to not respond with mirrored passion.

it was all great until it set in that I was going to have to face Mars again, in person. i prayed our school would decide all students had to stay remote. of course I wanted to see Mars, i want to do much more than just see them, but i knew it would only be a matter of time between us being reunited and them asking me out.

this was a person who crafted a puzzle where the answers were flowers that were a declaration of fidelity in Victorian Flower Language. of course i ate that up with a spoon. u would have too. listen, i know all aesthetics are fads and all fads age badly, but if the cottagecore girls get to learn to sew and bake and grow, i owe dark academia for teaching me the vocabulary and actions of my most treasured relationship yet, and giving me permission to be earnest and vulnerable in this life for 10 goddamn minutes. Mars is handsome and a genius and i was not used to feeling connected to anyone. but for all that joy, i was also drowning with the thought of having to break their heart by explaining i cant date anyone AFAB.

so the semester starts. Mars asks me over for a homecooked meal since restaurants don't exist here at the end of the world. they made me a beautiful dinner with all my dietary needs in mind. just like everything else i ate it up. and i made no effort to stop them from inviting me over for food and conversation again and again and a fourth time just to make sure it really hurt.

they kissed me after the last dinner. and I kissed them back, before stopping. they apologized for moving too quickly, but i explained that they had moved at the perfect pace, just with the wrong person.

there is no nice ending to this. it's real life. Mars took it as a breakup and didnt reach out to me again. i sobbed from halloween to christmas, i swear. i'm the villain in this story.

i started this post off as a sign of solidarity to the other young lady, but now im realizing that this letter would be better read by her fearful beloved, not her. it is 4am where i live, so i apologize if this has all gotten away from me.

love is a garden u have to water yourself. ngl, my favorite part about this blog is all the posts about learning to love yourself, learning to see ur intrinsic value dispite the core facets of u that have been deemed flaws, and trust the relationship between me, myself, and i.

i started out telling myself i was writing this to help the high school kid, but i havent shared this with anyone. writing this out has helped me process a thing or two, or at least start to. i like this idea of lavendersage being a kindly cryptid who will alchemise ur heartache into calm.

i hope you dont mind if i try to make this a thing.

my story is in the shape of a love letter. its tearstained before it even hits the water. i drop it in your river and watch it float away.

y’all are breaking my heart with these stories this week 🤧i feel so sad to read them and so helpless to respond, because i know how deep that pain must run and i don’t know if there’s truly anything i could say or do to take it away. but if i can lessen it from 100 to 99, well, then i’ll have fulfilled my goal of existing on this website. at the very least, i’m glad that writing this message helped you process some things on your own, but i’m happy to share my thoughts anyway.

your mars sounds like a top tier human being. victorian flower language? i’m swooning. it’s no surprise to me that you fell for them, and they were clearly head over heels for you. folks don’t make grand gestures like that for just anyone, that’s for sure 🥺

and i’m very sad to hear about the way things ended. but, anon, i can’t help but wonder if it is indeed over, or if hope exists on the precipice of a great act of bravery performed by you--something i know from experience is much easier said than done, and something i’ve failed to do in the past, so i’m not trying to be a hypocrite here. the ball is definitely in your court, though.

also...it doesn’t sit well with me to hear you call yourself a villain. i understand why you see it that way, as it’s clear that you deeply care for this person. but for many folks...the fear of what our family will say or think or do weighs so heavily on us that it robs us of any possibility of happiness with someone who isn’t the kind of person our family wants us to end up with. i’m sure plenty of folks, myself included, can empathize with this. and i’m sure on some level, mars does too.

my love, as with all things, i hope whatever happens next works out for the best, and that you don’t let this experience darken your heart. if things change between you and mars, please feel free to drop me a note. i’ll always be here to listen 💚💚💚`

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Curious Cat pt 6

Summary. Shigaraki , feared villain. Has been hit with a quirk that has turned him into a moody mouthy cat. Reader takes him home and he slowly comes around, sort of. But the quirk has worn off now. And after a little quickie hes gone back to the hideout full of regret.

Shigaraki stomped all the way back to the hideout with his arms folded tight over his chest. Nice job, idiot. She knows it's you. Great. You were supposed to scare her not hesitate like some scaredy cat. He looked over his shoulder,not seeing you. Well , it's not like she will follow me. Not into villain territory. Stupid human.

You had fallen to your knees outside once you lost him . People looked down at you, your coffee stained apron, your shocked face. That was Shigaraki, a villain. He had Tomu’s collar , but why? Would he know where Tomu is-?

“Y/n!!!” Shouted a voice along with a door slam.

You looked back to see your boss Looking angry. “Go home! You're done for the day! Im taking that cup out of your paycheck!” The door slammed again getting a wince out of you. A passerby offered to help you up but you pushed yourself up brushing off your apron. You needed answers.

Shigaraki kicked the hideout door open to see Toga ‘helping’ Kurogiri wipe down the bar. She was using her sleeve. Kurogiri was less than happy about it but he let her help anyway. The door slam got them both to look up . Toga waved and Kurogiri said ‘hello’ . Shigaraki sat down with a hard thud clicking his teeth.

“Did you?” Kurogiri asked softly.

“I gave her the stupid collar back and left.”

“Did you explain the situation?”

“No”

“Tomura Shigaraki!”

The Leader clicked his teeth spinning around to see the rest of the hideout. This dump is not homey at all. Humans home was much more- He blinked , squeezing his folded arms tight.

Toga tapped his back so he would look at her. “Tomura, what if she comes here?”

“Shes a stupid Human , she wont know where to look.”

“You better hope your right Tomura Shigaraki.”

“Tch.” The Leader slid off his chair walking to his room, he slammed the door and threw himself on his bed staring at the wall. Stupid bed. Not even comfortable. He grabbed the blanket pulling it over his head burying his face in his pillow.

The days went on, and you had been doing all kinds of research on Shigaraki . You always found the same information , crimes, murders, the League. You just wanted to know where the hideout was.. Maybe you should look yourself. And with that awful idea you got up putting your phone away and grabbed a bag stuffing your phone in it. You left your house calling a taxi and made your way to the other side of the city.

Shigaraki was playing his switch on the couch with Toga next to him, asking him all sorts of annoying questions about being a cat. Spinner was at the bar trying to figure out what his Leader would look like as a cat and Kirogiri was wiping down the bar.

“Did you eat cat food?” Asked the girl

“Do you wanna die?” He snapped at her but she just giggled leaning on him.

“Pleaseeee Tomuraaa. Its important. What did you do when she left for work? I bet you threw a fit.”

“Shut up.”

“You did didn't you!!! Kurogiri!! Even as a kitty he was fussy!!!”

“I believe it Himiko”

Shigaraki flinched at their laughter rolling his eyes.

The door opened and Dabi walked in with his hand over his mouth and a paper in his free hand. He strolled over to his Leader chuckling. Shigaraki looked up and Toga jumped up to see the paper. She let out the loudest squeal Shigaraki had ever heard, he winced. Dabi flipped the paper over leaning down laughing loud. “IS THAT YOU!!!?”

It was a Missing Cat flyer. With a picture of him looking VERY angry at his cat toys. When the fuck did Human take this?!?. Shigaraki got up grabbing the flyer from the laughing villain and Kurogiri rushed over to see it too.

Missing Cat.

Tomu

Light blue, shaggy hair on his head

Fussy but very loveable

A phone number and a home address.

Fucking Human! God dammit.. What the hell is this?!? . It was obvious that the cat was him, if villains found out you had contact with him, or the Pros..

“LOOK AT YOU HAHA!!!!!!” Dabi weezed, leaning on Toga who couldn't stop making annoying noises.

Spinner snuck over getting a peek and his eyes got wide. He looked at Shigaraki then the flyer a few times. Kurogiri was chuckling and Shigaraki was staring at the flyer, crinkling its side.

“TOMUUU!!!” Teased Dabi.

“So cute!!!” Toga added.

“SHUT U-“

A quiet knock filled everyone's ears. The door opened slowly and Shigaraki dusted the flyer.

••

The taxi brought you just outside the sketchy part of the city. You thanked the man and he shrugged turning around driving away. You squeezed your bag looking at the bunched together buildings. Some villains were making themselves known too, walking around the area eyeing you. You had found an image online that looked like an old bar, it was your only lead unless you asked the villains..

Cautiously you walked down the sidewalk trying to ignore the villains you passed.

“Whats a pretty thing like you doing here huh?”

“Never seen you before”

“Looking for someone?”

“It's not safe here for a pretty lady…”

Even though the villains never approached you, them following you , talking in your ear was terrifying. You came to a rather large fancy building stopping in front of it to look in the mirrors. The villains dispersed and the door clicked open. You looked up to see an old man smiling down at you, he had on a fancy suit and a cigarette in his mouth.

“Can i help you, little lady?”

“I mean no trouble.. i'm looking for Shigaraki.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, closing the door behind him with a small smirk on his face. “Allow me to take you.”

“Thank you! I ..”

“Giran, sweetie.”

••

On the way there you explained why you were looking for him and Giran could not help but chuckle. Oh this was grand he thought. He knew Shigaraki was missing for a while but he never expected him to be turned into a cat . Giran brought you to a building that matched your photo and held the door open for you following you inside. The closer you got to the second door the louder the laughing you heard got.

You looked back once you reached the door and Giran smiled at you, lighting a new cigarette with his gun. Very slowly you pushed the door open peaking in.

Everyone looked back at you and Giran peered in over you waving. “Hello hello, I brought a friend.” He teased pushing the door open. The flyer turned to dust and Shigaraki pushed Dabi and Toga outta the way, stomping over to you .

What the hell is this. What the hell is this?!? How did she find me? Giran? Fucking HELL.

“Giran.” He spat out.

Giran put his hand on your head smiling. “She just wants to talk Tomu.”

Your eyes got big and you grabbed Shigarakis wrist, scaring him . “Tomu!!! Its you isn't it? “

Shigaraki shook you off stepping back. “Get her out of here. I don't know this person.”

You whimpered and Kurogiri walked over holding his hand out to you. “Miss. Welcome. I have a couple questions for you.”

You nodded fast letting him lead you to the bar while Shigaraki gave Giran the worst death look . The old man shrugged smiling , the door closing behind him.

Toga grabbed your hand squealing asking a bunch of questions, beaming about how pretty you were. Dabi went over too leaning on the bar asking you all about his Leader. Kurogiri offered you water and shot his Leader a look till he stomped over sitting down next to you. Spinner walked into the room seeing you , he jumped back behind the wall watching.

“What the hell are you thinking?” Shigaraki asked you with annoyance in his voice . “Do you realize how dangerous it is to be here? The fact that you know me . Your so stupid. Inconsiderate Human. “

“Tomura Shigaraki!!!” Kurogiri enforced.

The Leader crossed his arms and Kurogiri turned his attention back to you . You were gripping your bag tight trying not to look at him. It was him, your cat. Your cat was a villain. Slowly you looked up at Kurogiri . “What.. did you want to ask?” . While you and Kurogiri chatted Shigaraki was left with his thoughts.

I cannot believe this. I should have dusted her when I had the chance. How is Human getting home huh? These fucking villains around here wont be nice to Human. Its late in the day , your suppose to be home watching that stupid tv show you love so much . Eating that cheap food .

He looked over at you , his fists tightening. You turned to him once you caught him staring. Slowly you reached into your bag pulling the collar out and an apron.

Human. I dont want that stupid collar. I hated that thing. What is that cloth? He snatched it looking it over. The apron? The apron I slept on? What the fuck am i go-

“Tomu.. I want you to have these..” you sniffled and his gaze shot right to your face. You had tears pooling in your eyes. “I want you to know.. finding you. Was the happiest I've been in a very long time. I don't understand what happened-“

“I changed back and I fucked you.” Be upset.

That night when it was hot as fuck in your dump of a home.” Get out of here

Kurogiri raised his voice startling you. “Tomura Shigaraki!!!” But he just ignored it

“The quirk wore off and I took advantage of your sutty body .” It's not safe here, you'll get hurt.

You retracted your arm looking down at the collar, your tears hitting it.

“That stupid collar. I hated it. And this.. apron?” He tossed it over the bar . “Stupid.” Why aren't you leaving? “You were so tight around me , squeezing me just right”

“TOMURA SHIGARAKI”

“SHUT UP KUROGIRI!!” Shigaraki kicked his chair away. “ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. “ he turned his attention to you to see you wiping your eyes so you could see him. “Tomu.. you were so gentle with me… you even dressed me after….”

His heart nearly skipped a beat. Oh fuck.

••

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love @babayaga67 @Unknownweeabo

[daddy-daichis]

Yesterday the very beautiful and talented @fuwari-s tagged me in this game and since that post is already really long i figured id make a new one lol  (Also thank you for tagging me, it made me so happy)

The Game: Tag your 2D lovers + the other trend I saw yesterday and wanted to do which is Would you actually date them IRL. So ill put that under the cut because it is a lot.

HQ: Atsumu, Daichi, Issei, Bokuto, Hinata, and Kyoutani

BNHA: Bakugou, Denki, and Hawks

JJK: Sukuna and Mei Mei

Others: Kagami from KNB, Levi and Jean from AOT, and Mikoto Suoh from K

So if you want to know if i would date them irl that is below the cut lol

As for tagging... if you want to do it :) @eijirosriot @bokutosnumberonefan @hinosreis @tetsus-kitten @sugawarakoushihoe @mynameisjackattack and anyone else who wants to do one or both of these challenges.

Alright so would i date these men (+ mei mei) in real life. Short answer is yes lmao. Long answer, with some headcanons that may or may not  venture into 18+ category but only slightly. all aged up to be my age which is 26.

Atsumu - PLEASE, YES

we would be so chaotic together but he would also be really loving. As long as he can still prioritize me in a relationship, not over volleyball, just as much, then we will be golden. We would have such a good time and i feel like we would have a lot of fun bickering, which i really enjoy. Play fighting as a form of foreplay, if you will lmao. We’d probs be friends in HS and then get together after he starts playing for MSBY and he is secured in his position (and himself tbh). I just love this cocky bastard. he also gives me switch vibes and as a switch, i love that for me.

Daichi - YES

All i need is to be wrapped in his arms on the daily and i would be happy. Man would know how to take care of me and that is all. Love of my life, too good for this world. Wholesome husband. He would be able to manage my crazy side and chill me out when i get to anxious. I would want to be bratty just to get him to drop his good guy routine sometimes and I feel like he would like that.

Issei - YES

Funeral home employee can get it. Matsukawa Horse cock Issei can whisk me off my feet and straight into bed. we would have a lot of fun picking on oikawa together (out of love of course) but we would balance each other out a lot. His darker humor would go well against my lighter humor. Also I feel like our level of hotness is pretty comparable... like we aren't the prettiest in the friend group but still good (if that makes sense)

Bokuto - YES

Big ball of sunshine to light up my day, he would literally fuck the sad out of me every day I just know it. Like atsumu, as long as I am a priority to him itll work out. We also kind of have the same sad moods so I feel like we could either both just curl up on the couch together and watch a movie or bring the other out of a funk easily. I love this giant himbo so much.

Hinata - most likely yes

Pretty much the same reasons as bokuto but I feel like I would get drained of his energy faster, so he would def have to cuddle me more. For everyone else so far I can imagine being high school sweethearts, but with hinata i think he wouldnt settle down until later, or even start dating so it would probably be a lot of pining and watching him from the side lines for a while, which would be really hard tbh. but the way he would smile at me after a match would make it worth it so...

 Kyoutani - Hard YES

I love a boy with anger issues, what can i say... (cough couch my irl husband with anger issues couch couch) I would love to be his weak spot and the one person he would go to to help him not feel angry anymore. I think that my fun personality would help him to unbox himself a bit. I just want to give him cuddles and a place to feel accepted. id also i KNOW hes a monster in bed... 

Bakugou - FUCKING HARD YES, PLEASE

if he was real the things i would do to and for him... A lot like kyoutani i would want to give him a place where hes accepted, and a place where he is unconditionally loved. I would be able to handle his misguided anger and calm him down and give him space. I headcanon that hes very cuddly in private to just his S/O which is something that i love. I love his lil smirk and would do anything to get him to smirk at me. As long as he is able to set me as a priority it would work out, but that would be what he struggles with so it would be a thing we would have to talk about. But I also feel that once you say something about it he would check in with you because of course he has to be the best bf/husband. I feel like I could talk for hours about him so Ill just wrap it up by saying that I love me a passionate man who would probs be a lil possessive, and I would use that to my advantage. 

Denki - GOD YES

I really do think that denki and I are soulmates. we are both the perfect blend of funny, pervy, while still being soft. I feel like there would be a lot of mutual pining at first but he would end up the golden retriever gamer boy to my alt bisexual and thats just the perfect pairing. We would pull so much shit and then get away with it because thats just us being us. I see us being scolded by bakugou a lot for the stupid shit we would pull. Also late night drives in his shitty tuned car to taco bell while we sing alt rock songs from the 2010s. also the switch vibes are immaculate.

 Hawks - Probably

So it would honestly depend a lot on what version of hawks.. him in the hero commission is a no, because he wouldnt be able to be honest with me about a lot of stuff. Like his name, or when i can see him again, and that would give me too much anxiety. When hes free of them and is actually allowed to be himself I think it could work then. I know that he of course wants to still be the best hero, so he would have the same problems as bakugou with finding a balance, but if he wants to i think he could. He would also have a lot of trauma from his relationship with his parents and the commission so I dont know if he would be able to give his love away as freely as he wants so we could get therapy together. I love that for us. But i would happily wake up next to this beautiful birb man if he would have me.  

Sukuna - A hesitant yes

so.. the anger issues that ive mentioned before.. yes. I would like sukuna. I would be his lil bride and sit on his lap on his throne as long as he didnt kill my loved ones or my cats lmao. I would also be ok with being his and itadoris gf while hes living in itadoris head. being with him is just asking for an unhappy ending tho, whether its a life always on the run, or someones trying to kill me, or someones trying to kill him, or hes trying to kill someone. But yes i would like to be with him but that would mean sacrificing a lot. 

Mei Mei - god yessssss..

Please Mei Mei step on me and make me ur lil house wife. I see us living in a pent house apartment with the most breathtaking view of the Tokyo skyline. I would want for nothing and she could take me where ever she wanted and i would just follow her around with heart eyes.

 Kagami - YES

my basketball husband! i love him and would love to be loved by him. Id follow him wherever. He would take care of me and is just so dreamy.. also i guess the mild anger issues.. but hes really not that bad. He would just be such a good s/o. He would cook us nice dinners, wed have a few cats, and he would carry me around a lot because hes so strong. While were on the topic of strong... his stamina... everyone on this list probably has good if not great stamina... but kagami just hits different..... have you seen him in the zone? have you seen his thighs? his sex zone has got to be incredible. 

 Levi - Yes

I was going to say it depends, but really it doesn't... if were in the aot universe and hes my captain and I fall in love with him u can bet ur ass im gonna try and get with him because i could die at anytime. if its some au where he is here in our universe and somehow we meet... like of course im gonna be in love with him. our height difference isnt too bad, im only like an inch or 2 taller than him. I think we would both have a great time together. I would make him laugh, and he would help me clean, because lord knows I hate cleaning. BUT i hate cleaning because its something that I always have to do alone, and I feel like levi would have us be cleaning together like he makes the scouts do. and hes just so sexy... 

Jean - big yes

This beautiful handsome man... idk what to even say about him. Hes strong, funny, handsome, cocky, but very much full of love. would love to run away from the world with him. I feel like if he was in love with me before *tries not to give away spoilers* the marco incident (?) that after he would become very clingy and attached and im ok with that. There would have to be lots of cuddles and reassurances and i just want to see him happy and not at war, with both real life people and himself... id give him the best kisses and he would become addicted to them. 

Mikoto - No? But maybe...

I feel like we could be.. but if you watched the show then you know.. But i would love to be Homra’s princess TBH. No one would mess with me or they would have to face the wrath of my big fire boyfriend and his whole ass gang. But on the other hand I feel like Mikoto wouldnt allow himself to fall in love, so it would probably be a hush hush topic. everyone knows the boss and I are in an entanglement, but they cant talk about it. Then Anna starts asking questions to Mikoto and he has to come clean to her, which would be so cute. He tells her is a secret but she doesn't care lmao. in conclusion, I would want to, but I dont think he would let me.... Maybe friends with benefits tho....

............................................................................................

ok if you read all this im officially in love with you. Please take my heart. 

This took me like 2 hours to do because I love thinking about it so much. if you have any thoughts about any of this hop into my dms or comment on this because id love to hear them (especially if you think i belong with one more than the others lmao). 

[ao3gingerswag]

on the whole idea of the boys when they're older interacting with kids, what if one day a kid comes in with his family who's like rly shy and timid, like not bc of abuse he's just rly shy and with his family who are perhaps quite boisterous and he's not and he gets quite anxious and there's a whole thing where the boys are able to bring him out of his shell ;~; like when he and his family are sitting down for a meal dean comes out with their food and makes him relax bc hes so good with kids. he comes down during the night bc he heard a noise and got scared and cas is down there cleaning up for the night and talks to him about nature to calm him down and the boy is like :)) and then the next morning he's outside and there's other kids who are playing with sam and he's off to the side but sam notices and is able to bring him into the play and he ends up making friends with the other kids, and then by the time the family have to leave the inn he's like smiling and happy and he turns to his parents and is like 'can we come back here soon :D' and it's this rly nice moment, maybe from his perspective so we get to see others reactions to the boys :))

ALSO AS I WAS WRITING THIS I HAD AN EPIPHANY WHAT IF THE BOY IS JACK. DOESN'T NEED TO BE BUT IT WORKS KINDA WELL!!

awwww this is so cute!!! Maybe this could be combined with the prompt about cas helping the family with an autistic child and helping the parents understand their kid better....like maybe the kid is autistic and so he has a hard time talking sometimes and is withdrawn bc of difficulty interacting with others. and dean is so good with kids, even if he can't spot right away that the kid is autistic like cas would be able to, he can tell when he comes out with the food that the kid is in distress. like he's like and here's yours sir :) to the kid (dean is very polite but he is calling the kid sir as a bit of a joke to make the kid smile) and the kid like doesnt look up and the parents are like oh sorry he's just shy. and dean is like oh. hmmm. cause the kid has like his fingers clenched in his tunic. when he comes back out he like crouches next to the kid to make him feel more comfortable and is like hey :) i'm dean :) and the kid doesnt look up or say anything and the parents r like sorry he gets like this idk why. jack look at the nice boy and introduce yourself. (i didnt watch the later seasons but from what i see on tumblr.edu the consensus is that jack is autistic so!) and dean is like no thats ok he doesnt have to look at me/talk to me. and then to jack he's like. u know i have a friend who doesn't always look at people or talk to them and we get along just fine. so i think me and jack are gonna get along great :) and then to jack he's like. you know. my friend and i dont always talk using our voices. sometimes we use our hands! (i guess this is post meeting eileen- i've said this on a different post but once dean cas and sam r introduced to the concept of sign language they adopt it immediately bc cas feels so much more comfortable communicating like that when he's having trouble w/ words) and jack is like ??! so turns towards dean w/o making eye contact, clearly intrigued. and dean is like :) wanna see? :) and jack nods. and dean shows him a few basic signs and jack mimics him. and one of the words is upset. and then once jack learns it, dean signs "you upset?" to him. ;~; and jack nods. and dean is like. wanna tell me what's up? maybe i can help! and then jack does the shy kid thing of indicating with body language that they dont wanna say what's wrong out loud, so dean leans in and jack whispers into his ear "loud." and dean is like oh! i see! we can fix that :) can i tell your parents what you just told me? and jack nods. so dean says to the parents (who r looking on in bemusement) its a bit loud in here for jack. mind if i take him outside for a minute? and the parents are like oh! sweetheart why didnt you tell us? (they arent bad parents they just dont get jack and its the middle ages so its not like there is info out there) and jack shrugs and the parents sort of helplessly shrug at each other, bc jack not verbalizing issues is a common problem for them. and they r like um its ok u dont have to take him outside we will take him. but do u mind bringing our food outside and stuff. like can we eat there. and dean is like of course no problem! and theyre like r u sure? im sorry that u have to go out of ur way for us, im sorry about our son, he can be. kinda fussy sometimes. and dean is like literally dont worry about it!

so then jack's parents take him outside and they all eat on the porch, and dean keeps popping back over to check on them. and jack is clearly much happier and starts to become much more verbal now that he's not overstimulated. still shy and quiet but much more smiley and every time dean brings them something he's very quietly like "thank you."

omg! maybe dean notices that he's not eating his food and so he's like do we want something else? and the parents r like omg no omg im sorry he's just so particular about what he likes omg the food is great jack pls eat ur food dont be rude. and dean is like he's not being rude at all he's a very polite young man :) id be happy to bring something else out. and the parents r like. well. if you're sure...he likes things that r like. boring. like really really boring. like plain porridge with nothing in it and stuff like that. and dean is like mashed potatoes? and the parents r like yes! and jack perks up. and so he brings that out for jack. and he brings it out and the parents r like omg omg thank u SO much for going so out of ur way for our weird kid even tho he still wont look at u at all. they dont say that part they're not assholes to jack, its implied tho and jack kinda curls into himself bc hes embarrassed about causing problems. and dean ofc notices and is like. u know. my friend who talks with his hands can be very particular too. he doesnt like the noise in the dining room either, and he also only likes certain foods. and jack perks up again :)

ahhh he keeps coming out to check on them and he's like hey how u doing? and!! oh no maybe dean also taught him the sign for happy and he signs "happy" at dean ;~:

to be clear- dean doesn't make the connection that jack LIKE like cas, as in he's autistic, at least not yet. like i think he WOULD if he had more time with him, but cas is the only autistic person he's ever met, and he just met jack. dean def just thinks he's very shy, but he's great with kids and can tell right away that jack is upset, and he shows him the signs not cause he realizes that jack is actually non-verbal in that moment but because he really doesnt care if the kid doesn't want to talk to him, he just wants to help. and he shows him the signs and stuff bc he wants the kid to tell him whats wrong, but kids wont tell strangers that if u just ask upfront, you have to gain their trust a little first ;~; and dean understands all of this instinctually bc he's great with kids so he manages to figure out whats wrong and solve the problem even without realizing that jack is autistic. ;~;

the person who figures out that jack is autistic is definitely cas!! jack comes down in the middle of the night maybe not cause he hears a noise, maybe he just cant sleep bc he hates his routine being disrupted and being in a new place ;~; and the sheets feel all wrong and everything smells wrong and everything is different and he hates it ;~; so he comes downstairs maybe be he's crying and he doesnt want to wake his parents up. and cas is downstairs cleaning up still, it's totally quiet tho now so there is no overstimulation. and cas is like oh! a tiny person!! uuhhh.... he def panics a little bc he's not good w people and he's not sure what to do with a random crying child. maybe he briefly considers waking dean up bc dean is good with kids and also maybe he saw dean talking to jack earlier. but then hes like no dean is tired i dont want to bother him ill try to deal with it. and hes like um. hello. um. my name is castiel i am the owner of this inn. um i guess u dont care about that. um. r u ok? and then the kid signs "upset" ;~; and cas is like oh! bc thats their signs! so he signs "what's wrong, why are you upset?" back even tho like it's just their home signs so how would this kid know them. but he signed "upset" so cas responds kinda on instinct. and the kid does not understand anything other than upset bc dean only showed him like 5 signs and he kinda already forgot the other ones. but it doesnt matter! bc those r hand words like dean was talking about and showing him! which must mean this is his friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking!! and jack is verbally like. r u dean's friend who doesnt like looking at people or talking. and cas is like um? yeah i guess? thats me. and jack is like ! i am very particular too! and bc he trusts dean and now by extension cas, and believes dean about cas being "particular" like him, he doesnt feel embarrassed about admitting what's wrong. and he spills his guts hes like everything is WRONG i dont like how anything feels or smells or tastes and everything is different from how it is at home and i HATE it and mom and dad says thats rude but i dont want to be rude but i cant sleep bc everything is all wrong!!! ;~; and he says all this not looking at cas and waving his hands around his head. and cas is like......................................................................oh. hm. i see. this is Me.

so he's just very empathetic and is like im really sorry i totally understand, you're not being rude, i also feel that way whenever we travel and i also am very selective about what i can touch and eat and stuff and am very sensitive to the physical environment. i know i cant fix it all but is there anything i can do to help you feel better? do u want to try some different blankets? and he takes jack to the linen closet and is extremely patient as he brings down each blanket and lets jack touch each one and decide which is the best. and it DOESNT solve everything but just having someone take him seriously and listen to him makes jack feel so much better and hes eventually able to go back to sleep ;~;

in the morning theyre outside, sam who's like 16 or whatever is chasing the kids around playing tickle monster. and jack's parents try to get him to go play with sam and the other kids but he doesnt want to he's too shy and anxious. and cas keeps staring at jack like :( bc he KNOWS but he doesnt know what to do about it. he brings it up with dean and dean is like OH. i see THATS what was going on with him he's like you! and cas is like yeah :( idk what to do about it...

sam sees jack hanging around with his parents on the side and he's like hey! do u want to come play? and jack is like................ and his parents r like sorry hes really shy. and sam is like thats ok! i have an idea, why dont we change the game and we can play hide and seek! (bc that doesnt require jack to jump in to interacting with a big crowd of kids) he's like :) i bet u can hide real well! :) and jack is like! :D and he nods bc hes like whoa i CAN hide really well! and they play hide and ofc sam is the seeker but when he finds the kids he always kinda turns it into man hunt cause he's like ah HA i got u!!! and he chases them around. and eventually he finds jack and hes like mwahahahaha now im gonna EAT you!!! and jack like screeches and giggles and bolts away and sam chases him and the other kids, and basically he like tricks jack into playing the exact same game they were playing before by like easing him into it by not making the start of the game require walking up to a crowd of ppl. but then once they r in the game he's ok just running around with the other kids :)

meanwhile dean and cas watch this and dean is like. do u want to talk to the parents. and cas is like. :/ i dont know how to do that. like how would we even start that conversation. and dean is like. i can help u :) so he does! he's like hey u remember i was talking about my friend to ur son the other day? this is he! u met him when u were checking in! ive noticed that he's like really really similar to ur son and has some of the same issues, and we were wondering if u wanted to talk about how cas deals with some of those things? and basically dean eases them into the conversation and makes it unintimidating for both parties. and cas teaches the parents all about the concept of sign language, and how going non-verbal is more than just being shy, and like they start describing situations in which jack was like Weird theyre like one time he started screaming and crying and rocking in public we didnt know what to do! and cas is like well where were u? what was going on? and like helps them identify the kinds of sensory things that probably trigger jack and stuff. and just like. its a good convo.

omg and cas is literate by this point and maybe the parents r too and hes like. if u ever wanna write to me and ask me about more shit and whatever pls dont hesitate. and then they DO and basically they help this family understand and raise their autistic son and its great!!! :D

anyway this is a VERY long response i definitely just outlined a mini-fic here.