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#i dont have the spoons for ids rn but i am feeling so many things about this drum.
redwinesupernova · 1 year
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x + x + x + x + x
frank iero interviews from 2017-2023, drum from mcr sydney
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cattles-bians · 3 years
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Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4
post directory
[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]
obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs
obsetress: once they are dating
obsetress: and thinkin thoughts
em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????
em: that’s hot but
em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot
obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!
obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down
obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth
em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship
obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet
obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes
obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)
obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)
obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes
em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine
em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies
obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”
obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like
obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just
obsetress: she just stays
em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em
obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just
obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like
em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter
em: viola isnt nearly as terrible
obsetress: esp vi post dani like
obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but
obsetress: radical love goes a long way!
obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”
em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally
em: lovingly! gently
but like, holding her accountable
em: also violas absolutely little spoon
em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon
obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”
em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent
em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'
obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm
em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible
obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn
em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee
obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like
obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"
obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn
em: wrow
em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'
obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"
obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"
em: HANNAH
em: BESTIE
obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK
obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"
obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone
em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!
em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely
[em edit: u can read here]
obsetress: god i love that lil scene
em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its
obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist
em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about
em: still cares about!
obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another
obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too
em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'
obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie
em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met
em: not that u think abt it or anything
obsetress: MAN i was just thnking
obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh
obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm
em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute
obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like
obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk
obsetress: but then i'm like
obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it
obsetress: oh GOD
obsetress: i got it
obsetress: ready
obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this
obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right
em: oooooh
obsetress: bex public housing attorney
em: OOH
obsetress: they meet at some conference
obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr
obsetress: and then
obsetress: comedy of errors
obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"
em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds
em: YES
obsetress: and then they just
em: WHEEZES
obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her
obsetress: and then like
obsetress: god for a while what if they just like
obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like
obsetress: the sex is so good???????
obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then
em: romeo and juliet situation
obsetress: yk how it goes
obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like
em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah
obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever
obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn
obsetress: honestly at this point i'm
obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind
obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered
em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other
obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile
obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf
em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified
em: hypocrits
em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing
em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people
obsetress: i mean could you imagine
obsetress: between vi and dani's just
obsetress: insatiable libido
em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH
obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––
em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally
em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)
obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"
obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but
obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:
obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse
em: GOD. viola is probably like
em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords
em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but
em: stupid morons in love
obsetress: yeah
obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like
obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out
obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like
obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world
obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that
obsetress: and so viola does
obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"
em: soft.....
obsetress: they always turn back to soft
obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own
em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft
obsetress: that's the mood
em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'
obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!
em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao
em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge
obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was
obsetress: giving viola her time
obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell
em: cracks knuckles
em: bestie....
obsetress: pls
obsetress: it's what i deserve
obsetress: first tho
obsetress: consider
obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures
obsetress: hold pls
em: soft......
obsetress: this one chief
obsetress: right here
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warlock119 · 3 years
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i am going to analyze my rings to figure out their meanings & what powers they give me when i wear them (-_-。)
silas: i stole this ring, it has five four petal flowers engraved on it. 5 is a number of purity & perfection, 4 is a number of stability. there are many 4 petal flowers & i can’t identify these, but as a whole 4 petal flowers symbolize wholeness, unity & beauty. it is named after my cat silas who is so beautiful & mischievous. silas is a name of latin origin & means essentially “of the forest”. its biblical connotations mean 3 or the 3rd. 3 has many different meanings, but those that come to mind are unity or “all”, resemblant of the triad.
osiris: i also stole this ring -__- it is a simple sterling silver band. i wear both silas & osiris on my left hand ring finger, which typically symbolizes marriage or engagement. they are both sterling silver, which is derivative of original silver or whatever which symbolizes wealth bc precious metal but also has lunar connotations, which are very feminine. osiris is the egyptian god of the underworld & agricultural fertility, he acts as a judge to the dead. he is killed by his brother seth, or set, the god of disorder. the myth has its share of incest & betrayal, but the most prevalent themes are death, theafterlife & the conflict between order & disorder
daedalus: i think this dude is sick as fuck for building the labyrinth id like to pick his brain im not gonna explain the myth bc i dont want to. this ring was my mothers, im not sure what the stone is but the colors remind me of blood & rust & ga red clay. it is an empty locket, i often fidgit with the little clasp. it is the largest ring that i own, i used to pretend it was a vampires ring when i was younger. there is no statement made by wearing a ring on ur left middle finger, but this site says since it is the largest finger of the hand it can symbolize power & responsibility, which i like. this ring grounds me the most, it feels very nice to rub my fingers across. ty daedalus
woodring: this is also my mothers, it is a celtic design, and i am not sure exactly which knot it is but i belive it is either a sailors knot or a love knot. the sailors knot symbolizes an unbreakable bond, and a love knot is meant to be shared between two people. it was made in silver by one of her friends. woodring is named after jim woodring, a cartoonist i really admire. his pieces are whimsical & disorienting & grimm. i love his mind. the pointer finger symbolizes confidence and authority/leadership.
narcissus: i named narcissus bc i really like the name but i can’t use it for myself. i thought it was fitting bc i am overly self absorbed & in both a relentless self hatred way & a could stare at my features for hours way. it was given to me by my friend who i have always considered to be a little magical. we have a lot of history together & she had convinced me she had powers when i was younger, but also little things have happened that reinforce it now. the stone is probably amber or glass, the orange feels more “happy” than the previous one. thumb rings are associated w masculinity & willpower.
clo: clo is named after a character i made when i was 12 she was pretty badass & i had forgotten about her entirely until i was thinking of names for my rings. this ring was given to me by a friend around a month ago. it is made of collage paper and resin, on the inside there are words that read “gradually crumbled my imagination.” i have wondered why they chose these words for me. does it seem like my imagination is deteriorating? this ring is mostly pale greens with gold ink & a pair of eyes to watch me. she is like a witness for everything that i do. beside the eyes there is a hand holding three swords, in tarot this symbolizes intense sorrow. the greens are pleasant and calming, but paired with the eyes they evoke mystery/secrecy to me.
lyra: this was my mothers spoon ring that she used to wear in college. she is named lyra after the protagonist of the golden compass trilogy, i really loved those books when i was younger. lyra is a greek name referring to the constellation of the lyre of orpheus, i will not talk abt all of the stars in lyre bc i do not want to do the research rn -__-. i hate to be a freak but spoons are certainly the most feminine cutlery this is basic shape analysis. i think that the rings on my left hand are more masculine & those on my right more feminine.
icarus: u know why this one is named icarus. it was one of my favorite stories when i was younger. the winged skull is symbolic of the transformative nature of death, it is a reminder of life’s impermanence. the wings evoke ascension&i am not religious but i am enamored with flight. i think remedios would also have been a good name for this ring, i may change it at some point. read 100 years of solitude. i have not fully decided what i believe will happen when we die.
noah: i wanted to name myself noah for awhile but it’s my friends older brothers name so i decided not to. noah means comfort or the wanderer. it is a very pretty ring, the stone winks blue in the light & it just felt right to give it a more masculine name. i like how soft it sounds to say.
leona: leona is my mothers claddagh, an irish symbol meaning friendship, loyalty and love. i wear it with the heart facing inwards which means my heart is closed or i’m in a relationship, but i don’t do this to adhere to symbolism i just do it bc i like to look at it this way. leona is the main character of one of my favorite webcomics from years ago called prague race which i’m not even really sure exists anymore. the creatures are incredible. the name leona is a feminine form of lion. i like the way these three look stacked together.
anura: also my mothers, anura is silver and round. definitely more feminine, my friend says it reminds them of a sunflower. anura is the order of amphibians classifying frogs & toads... i chose it because i love those creatures & it is a very pretty word. i am tired now & i haven’t even deciphered what powers they give me. that is fine. gn
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sewercentipede · 4 years
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i did An Activity yesterday and since id done one the previous day too my body feels like ive been poisoned. probably especially because i drank one (1) beer last evening and i knew i would regret it. feels like pure misery, like my whole body and brain are tryna die.
however i had a lot of fun yesterday, i spent money i dont have on artists’ stuff at an oddities/art fair . a lot of the art vendors were older women and so fucking cool and nice and 6 diff people commented on my “Vote Socialist Workers /Say Yes to E.R.A.” button and i was like !!!!!solidarity!!!!!! my boyfriend spent money he doesnt have on me too
so im smoking this weed i got rn mixed with regular weed and its helping so much along with my heating pad. normally i dont like smoking weed but when im in extra pain this shit rlly does work amazingly. also thank god for heating pads holy shit
there was one guy whos art was so, genunienly, amazingly relatable and chronic illness related and it deeply moved me but i was too poor to afford the pieces i wanted to buy and im mad at myself for not buying at least a cheap thing or two to have some of his art at least and give him a sale. so kinda kicking myself abt that but i have his card ..
Anyway after the fair we went bowling w our friends and it was lots of fun.i finally got to talk to amber like deeply and i think we need each other, spiritually. i think we are in rlly similar places in life and need each others friendship and i feel like itd have potential for healing for both of us.
its funny -- on thursday at therapy i was telling my therapist , how fucking depressed ive been this past week, far more than usual, getting out of bed nearly impossible, neglecting a lot of things, but having anxiety about it all. having just enough energy to care about  A Thing but not enough energy to do anything about it, which results in this horrible feeling i call anxiety. but literally the day after therapy, things started happening. particularly, very nice experiences and very nice people . like suddenly and without my planning or effort. thursday was So Weird too, it was beginning to storm during therapy and lightning was flashing, i was having computer trouble the day before (trying to watch The Grudge 2 made my computer crash and get all fucked up and my bf had to take my PC apart and figure it out). while my therapist was having bizarre phone problems during my session and all i could think was its scorpio season babey. especially w how deeply i feel connected with jay and amber from this weekend, and then how intense the rave was, my soul feels alive again when the past week it has felt like it was dying theres no other way to describe it.
im just rllly fuckin kinda not sure what im gonna do tomorrow cause the photay concert is tomorrow night and i straight up borrowed all of todays spoons this past weekend, and i fear some of tomorrows spoons as well. hoooo boy.
but i have a feeling its gonna be alright. im feeling grateful n thankful for how many wonderful things come to me. its good to be reminded i cant just assume what the futures gonna be like; it can be better than i am capable of imagining.
n now im gonna smoke more weed and watch something comforting and/or festive and hydrate
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Joe & Ronnie
Joe: how much you got on you rn Ronnie: enough for me Ronnie: you aint piggybacking Joe: enough for me then Joe: not suggesting you send it first class Joe: 'less you know how to do that Ronnie: I do but in what world mckenna Joe: however much you reckon you'd need to do it Joe: i'll double it Ronnie: use that ingenuity for your own score Joe: yeah whatever Joe: all chat Ronnie: like ive got anything to prove to you Ronnie: least of all how well i can be your bitch when you holler at me Ronnie: cry is more accurate Joe: fuck sake Joe: forget about it Joe: it's a stupid idea Joe: you gonna give me a better one Ronnie: not one for the scrapbook was it cunt Ronnie: dry your eyes & do your own running Ronnie: you need me to hold your hand everytime now Ronnie: big enough to take it go find it Joe: ha ha Joe: like I'm running anywhere Ronnie: this where we play doctor yeah Ronnie: you tell me how bad it hurts & I make it better for you Joe: exactly Joe: now we're on the same page Ronnie: nah you think you can tear out some pages & spit ball em at me to get my attention but why should I give a shit bout these playground games boy just 'cause you heading back home to your mammy Ronnie: im sound Ronnie: dont care how loud you're crying she's the one who's gotta show up for that Joe: i don't want yor attention Joe: i want some heroin Ronnie: maybe she's still got old school connections Ronnie: find her little black book son Joe: maybe Joe: one of you could be useful like Ronnie: wounded & bleeding Ronnie: shit junkie you are house full of people to shake up & shit to steal but you coming to me Joe: just looking for that big sisterly advice Joe: obviously Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you sound like the littlest one what is he 4 like Joe: feel it Ronnie: trying to make my heart bleed now yeah Ronnie: grow a fucking pair before it really hurts Joe: if you wanted to scare me you shouldn't have given me the gear Joe: realistically too late anyway but who wants to hear or think about my idyllic childhood yeah Ronnie: if you couldnt hack it you shouldve cried off then Ronnie: save the tears now Joe: and i thought i was the only one with obsessive thought spirals Joe: when i get some i'll remember to feel good about how much you miss me Ronnie: like youre special baby Ronnie: please Ronnie: weve all got mad minds hows that not clicked in yours Ronnie: how many kids shes squeezed out & you reckon were the only self medicating Ronnie: hit up another sibling to fix you Joe: am though Joe: she's always told me Joe: ⭐ boy Ronnie: talk her up with that foreplay Ronnie: be good for £££s Joe: no tah Joe: not my type Joe: and it's only ever worked on you Joe: but you've given me another idea so cheers Ronnie: i dunno whats funnier that youre trying to tell me you dont wanna slip your mum one or you reckon you know what works on me Joe: lemme know when you work it out Joe: 👍 Ronnie: let me know when youve stopped playing happy families Joe: you reckon i wanna be here Ronnie: didnt see no fingernail marks on my floor or walls Ronnie: still reckon you were dragged though yeah Joe: check your thighs Joe: ain't all perks being the favourite 💔 Ronnie: [sends him pics cos that bitch haha] Ronnie: grow a pair whipping boy Ronnie: before she says jump youre on the ledge Ronnie: its pathetic mckenna Joe: see Joe: ain't been that long Joe: only feels it, babe Ronnie: you'll need all that sweet talk for the local dope dealer Ronnie: but if you wanna think of me when you're turning tricks for them it'll go easier Joe: lovely as that'd be Joe: not in progressive london now Joe: gonna have to pay like the rest, worst luck Ronnie: go beg for your pocket money then kidda Ronnie: before she picks a new fave Ronnie: younger & prettier like Joe: nah Joe: we want her to Joe: remember Joe: then me and more importantly my student loans can come back Ronnie: bullshit if you wanted her to you wouldn't have gone Ronnie: you love it Joe: can't just go way uni and never come back Joe: send out a search party Ronnie: use your ⭐ as a beacon cant they Joe: let's hope not Joe: i come here Joe: keeps 'em away rest of the time Joe: yeah Ronnie: if you want em to fuck off commit to it Ronnie: stop being such a pussy Joe: ain't that easy Ronnie: find a ditch to lie down in Ronnie: it ain't hard Ronnie: youre a junkie motherfuckers don't support that Joe: far as they know Joe: i ain't Joe: let 'em catch up Ronnie: do it yourself if you wanna slam the door Joe: see how this goes Joe: not really thinking about them right now Joe: you know Ronnie: youre on one about that lot constantly Joe: just on one constantly full stop Joe: why else would i need the shit Ronnie: dont need to go that hard playing doctor baby Joe: 💘 Joe: you always know just what to say Ronnie: not used to you talking Joe: i know i know Joe: in an ideal world neither of us would be here Ronnie: like not born yeah Ronnie: but she cant keep her legs closed Joe: such a dreamer, you Ronnie: not the one who cant get high without their hand held Joe: n'awh Joe: that's the dream Joe: so romantic too Ronnie: yeah im living it loads of gear close & you far as Ronnie: greedy prick Joe: miss you too baby Joe: in a bit tho, gotta go pick up Ronnie: fuck off soft lad Ronnie: you miss me spoon feeding you Ronnie: you cant talk to me with a dealers cock in your mouth I know Ronnie: multitasking hard enough pretending not to be junkie scum yeah Joe: sure the whole mummy kink ain't your thing Joe: i'll try and get involved but kinda a mood killer Joe: which is kinda rude, know you don't want me to score Ronnie: thats all yours but I'll try anything once Ronnie: 'cause a whinging dope sick baby is really a turn on for me like Ronnie: just gotta keep that going Joe: no judgment here Joe: gotta do what you gotta do Ronnie: you gotta Ronnie: im sound Joe: and i'm happy for you Ronnie: lie to them don't lie to me Joe: alright Joe: will be a bit when I get mine but still Joe: you don't have to be here so Ronnie: you dont Ronnie: grow up & cut the fucking apron strings Joe: you've stopped being helpful for the day? Joe: right then Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: not flying over to fuck you cos your ma aint in the mood & thats as helpful as it gets Joe: why not Ronnie: youve got another sister Ronnie: see if shes into it Joe: but you're so special yeah Ronnie: but shes a good grooming age Joe: leave it out Ronnie: or what Joe: or what Ronnie: asked you first joseph Joe: alright veronica Ronnie: alright weak cunt Joe: probably Ronnie: pick up before you make me sick Ronnie: jesus Joe: waiting on the man Joe: as per Ronnie: if id known rattling had made you shit out your whole spine id have sucked his dick for you & sped things along Joe: so sweet Joe: one of the many things I like about you Ronnie: list just gets longer the longer youre away yeah Ronnie: dont come back & maybe you'll fall in love Joe: i know you want that less than you want me back Joe: don't lie Ronnie: you care what I want now Ronnie: 💘 Joe: only when it benefits me too, darling Joe: junkie scum 101 Joe: was on my timetable like Ronnie: theyve really done a number on you if youre on your knees for my truth Joe: who Joe: mummy dearest or my school Ronnie: take your pick Joe: ain't tryna hide it Joe: just doing my bit to be the whiny baby you want rn Ronnie: cheers then Ronnie: nailed that Ronnie: tell your ma i finally get how she feels 'cause its too late to get you scraped out Joe: 😂 Joe: on it Joe: assuming i ain't 'bout to get kneecapped Joe: or worse Joe: stood up 💔 Ronnie: i'll cross my fingers for raped & robbed Ronnie: standard Joe: you know i ain't gonna have that much of a good time without you 💘 Ronnie: stop trying to make me say I hate you so you can rub one out Ronnie: i dont do sexting Joe: worth a shot Joe: just killing time here Joe: trying not to puke Ronnie: hot Joe: mhmm Joe: like that attempt at enthusiasm Ronnie: you really know how to make a girl wet what can I say Ronnie: gotta romance my dealer out of want instead of need now Joe: thought I'd return the favour Joe: just how I roll Ronnie: course you do golden boy Joe: you ain't that mad about it Joe: i know Ronnie: i aint as fucking thick as you so again course Joe: true Joe: [time for drew to show and not deliver] Ronnie: made up about all these compliments Ronnie: who knew you could be this much on my tits from this distance Joe: just that good Joe: obviously Ronnie: you aint shit Ronnie: don't lie Joe: whatever Joe: can't touch me now Ronnie: only your ma is turned on at the sight of you Ronnie: but she will Joe: alright Joe: cba rn Ronnie: how are you still crying Ronnie: did he not show Joe: he did Joe: but he was about 12 and had no gear Joe: got enough tranqs to knock out an elephant but still Ronnie: when i told you to hit up your siblings i meant the freckled one not one of the toddlers Joe: yeah right Joe: like he knows a great smack dealer, even if we did talk Ronnie: hes a coke head Ronnie: give him 5 Joe: nah Joe: opposite direction Joe: only way is up Ronnie: whatever just get on a plane Joe: yeah Joe: i'm gonna Joe: fuck this Ronnie: ill be waiting with shit that aint a fucking joke Ronnie: you can owe me Joe: yeah? Joe: good Ronnie: don't talk me out of it Ronnie: christ you're annoying Joe: 🤐 Ronnie: only want you back on your feet so I can kick em out from under you myself Joe: hot Ronnie: like you said, it ain't been that long Ronnie: you know I am Joe: yeah Joe: where was this distraction when I really really needed it tho Ronnie: baby when have I ever been good for you Ronnie: selfish to my core Ronnie: we're here for me Joe: works for me Ronnie: just get to the airport & stop fannying about Joe: I've already taken 'em so hold on Joe: no packing now never mind going through customs Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: i had to Ronnie: when then Joe: still today Joe: just later Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: call me Ronnie: maybe i'll answer if it ain't too late Joe: can i call you now too Joe: i gotta stay awake Ronnie: I'm good but no guarantees I'm that good Joe: they ain't kicked in that good yet either Joe: just keep my eyes on the road yeah Ronnie: how much did you pay for baby aspirin mckenna Joe: was cheap as fuck at least Joe: just a kid Joe: barely broke a 50 for all of these so Joe: [photo] Ronnie: not as green as you feel yeah Joe: want me to bring some back Ronnie: too late to rob the boy now Ronnie: & you'll take em yourself before you see me I know you Joe: yeah Joe: i will Joe: but had good intentions, babe Ronnie: take em to church Ronnie: what use is that shit to me Ronnie: gimme bad ideas or don't come around Joe: got plenty of those come on Ronnie: like what Ronnie: come on Joe: what Joe: tryna focus here Ronnie: you wanna stay awake Ronnie: play the game Joe: alright Joe: yeah Joe: you gonna come back to mine Joe: flatmate's gone home Ronnie: are you gonna make it worth it if she's not there to kick in the teeth Joe: won't need to miss her once I'm back Ronnie: fucked her yet? Ronnie: we could do it together Ronnie: I dont normally slip one to virgins but I already made the exception for you Joe: no and funny Joe: keep me as the only exception Joe: how else will i feel special Ronnie: keep hitting up preteen dealers that'll help Joe: he was pretty Ronnie: if im ever in the area like Joe: i wish Ronnie: you & your ma both Ronnie: my turn to feel special Joe: weird ain't it Ronnie: for me Ronnie: you love it Joe: nah Ronnie: not a question Ronnie: you do Joe: don't Ronnie: liar Joe: maybe from you Joe: I'll allow it Ronnie: those pills better be kicking in Ronnie: if youre chatting this much shit sober you can stay in ireland Joe: 😂 Joe: they are Ronnie: book a flight Ronnie: i ain't your ma im not doing it Joe: lemme get home, like Joe: be more obvious you're tryna kill me Ronnie: what im trying to do Ronnie: you gonna call that your home now Joe: you know what i mean Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: i know youre full of shit, mckenna Joe: nah Joe: just bars Joe: make it up to you Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: x it as many times as fits Joe: k Joe: prove it when i see you Ronnie: you reckon Joe: not a question Ronnie: nah just bold claims for someone who still fucks like a virgin & has to check in with his ma Ronnie: can you without her permission Joe: get the slip signed if you're so worried Joe: chill out Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: couple of chewable vitamins & you're chill yeah Joe: you said you got loads Ronnie: I said enough Ronnie: & that was before babysitting you Ronnie: you make me need to spike every vein Joe: need Joe: want Joe: same diff we both know it Ronnie: not trying to make it matter baby Ronnie: put any words in my mouth you want Ronnie: or need Joe: here Joe: wish me luck on telling 'em i'm off Joe: or don't Ronnie: i'll do it for you Ronnie: point me at the relevant mckennas Joe: even stoned Joe: know that ain't a good idea Ronnie: pussy Joe: love u 2 Ronnie: 💋 Joe: [suitable amount of hours for the shit to wear off to a manageable level, avoid the parents and get out on the sly] Joe: [airport photo] Joe: tada Ronnie: we reckoned you'd bottled it Joe: taken a poll like Ronnie: yeah know you like to feel special Joe: warms my cold dead 💘 Joe: honest Ronnie: walk your corpse to me then Joe: and she says she don't sext Ronnie: you wanna be the only exception so bad or what Joe: you know how bad i want it Ronnie: dont leave again & maybe I'll buy it Joe: being dopesick was almost a nice distraction from thinking about you Ronnie: that warms my 🖤 Joe: thought so Joe: nothing does it quite like me being near-death yeah Ronnie: i do like you pathetic Ronnie: but don't think that any of it comes close to me yeah Joe: you saying you're better than heroin Ronnie: im saying you think you were hurting earlier Ronnie: ill show you pain Ronnie: all you have to do is fuck off again Joe: i won't Joe: i need to be there Joe: with you Ronnie: leave me & I will fucking break you Ronnie: i mean it Joe: i know Joe: i'm not gonna Ronnie: how did you get out Joe: parents weren't in but i said a uni friend was in a car accident and they couldn't get hold of his parents Joe: going hell anyway Joe: and someone on my course was hit by a car so if any of them are that concerned to go snooping Ronnie: thats beautiful Ronnie: you're not as much of a useless waster as youve sounded for most of the day like Joe: steady Joe: was almost not an insult Ronnie: who isn't turned on by a good lie Joe: only when I lie to you Joe: got it Ronnie: don't you fucking dare lie to me Joe: couldn't if i wanted to Ronnie: think about what kind of welcome back you want Ronnie: 'cause I can be nice or not nice Ronnie: its on you & what you say to me Joe: baby Joe: already told you I basically missed you more than heroin, how nice can one boy be Ronnie: you wont be saying that when I hand the gear over Joe: yeah i will Joe: been on you longer Ronnie: its fucking good though Joe: yeah Joe: ain't gonna say otherwise Ronnie: paid more & got better so you won't wanna leave Ronnie: dont have to rely on pretty preteens around here Joe: you know i didn't wanna leave in the first place Ronnie: i know you keep saying it like it makes a difference Joe: tell me what will and i'll do it Ronnie: i'll burn your passport that will Joe: burn my passport Joe: that's what you want? Ronnie: what do you have to go running to them for Ronnie: that's what I wanna know Ronnie: what the fuck is there for you Ronnie: cant even get a fix Joe: nothing, never has been Joe: it's obligation though Joe: you get it, i know you've done some shit just 'cos charlie wants to Joe: or 'cos bronson need it Ronnie: that's different Joe: why Ronnie: I ain't going round bullshitting how much i hate 'em on the one breath & in the other dropping everything for the pair of 'em Ronnie: ride or die is that Joe: okay so it is different Joe: it's more complicated Ronnie: fuck complicated its black & white Joe: nah like Joe: whatever i reckon about them Joe: i still owe 'em Joe: for now Joe: debts to pay like Ronnie: how ain't it been paid Ronnie: they ain't done you right since you were a kid Ronnie: if ever Ronnie: a roof & food that's easily totalled Joe: i dunno Joe: shit ton of interest Joe: learnt from the best debt collectors in liverpool, like Ronnie: write it off Ronnie: is when youre dead Joe: tell 'em that's my payment plan Ronnie: talking it out is your first mistake Ronnie: when the fuck has that worked on anyone who comes to collect Ronnie: dont even buy you time just makes you look a doss cunt more than you are Joe: maybe i can convince my da but you know she's biased Joe: all i have to do is get uni done and they can tick it off as a success Ronnie: i dont know jack about her Ronnie: how i want it Ronnie: if i aint read it off a file as a kid i don't need to hear it Joe: yeah Joe: but i ain't telling you i'm golden boy 'cos it seems cool am i Joe: whatever i'm gone now Ronnie: you're telling me 'cause you wanna trade wounds since I won't have your stories off you Ronnie: burn it into your arm deeper & maybe I'll pay attention Joe: you know it ain't about you, babe Joe: anyway, if we were still being nice I'd tell you none of the usual shit works to get you outta my head so thanks for that one Ronnie: ive been saying all day it's about her & I ain't competing with your fucking ma alright Ronnie: she smothered you poor baby Ronnie: you wanna try neglect its real easy Ronnie: feels better too Joe: you're the one who keeps bringing her up, yeah Joe: you want me to be that cunt Joe: easy Joe: I bet it was better, lucky you Ronnie: youre the one who ran home to have her tuck you in again Ronnie: youre that cunt Ronnie: mama's boy Joe: fuck's sake Joe: yeah alright Ronnie: you're the cunt who has the nerve to come crying to me when your mommy would shoot you up if you asked her to Joe: you reckon Joe: considering her dad was and she don't even hate yours as much i'll go with a no on that one Joe: plenty of sad stories I've heard and you ain't need to Ronnie: I reckon golden boy Ronnie: loves you as much as I love gear yeah Ronnie: & not trying to throw another baby away so you're welcome for the free pass Joe: cheers Joe: feels great Ronnie: you gonna cry again mckenna Joe: if i do i'll send you photos, don't worry Ronnie: 💘 Ronnie: send me some either way Joe: you're a headfuck you know Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: dealer said it last time I fucked him Joe: you want fresh line Joe: 👌 Ronnie: give it to me then Joe: give me the flight to think of something you ain't heard before Ronnie: it ain't long enough Joe: fair there's plenty of shit i can say that you ain't heard for real before Joe: but it'd be a copout so i'll keep trying Ronnie: like what Joe: how many of your brothers you fucked lik4 Ronnie: don't reckon freckles is interested Ronnie: leaves me the gay & the kid Ronnie: what about your sister that'd be hot like Joe: they're all kids, just so you know Ronnie: no they ain't Ronnie: i know you lost your virginity to me but don't reckon they're waiting Joe: you wish Joe: hopefully just on the first count Ronnie: you're a sick boy Ronnie: 💋🖕 Joe: you too baby Joe: 💘 Ronnie: thats not some shit I ain't heard before Joe: just truth though Joe: no lying Ronnie: feels like one Ronnie: I'm good Joe: what you want me to say to that Ronnie: say what you wanna say Ronnie: again not your ma Joe: i'm good then Ronnie: truth or lie Joe: lie but not a big one Joe: true once i'm off this plane Ronnie: you out of sweeties or they're just that sugar free Joe: i'm trying to time it just right Joe: then i can actually just a decent amount and not be in a coma for you Ronnie: alright fuck Ronnie: you win Ronnie: nobody's said that to me before Joe: i mean it Joe: i want you first Ronnie: don't say this shit when you're on the wrong side of a plane ride Ronnie: jesus mckenna Joe: gotta make sure you miss me too Ronnie: you're such a cunt Joe: yeah Joe: you still want me though Ronnie: shut the fuck up Joe: why Ronnie: what do you want me to say Joe: you don't have to say anything Joe: but I ain't gonna shut up about how I ain't been able to get you out of my head this whole time Ronnie: yeah you said im a headfuck Ronnie: more than your family & the gear Ronnie: I'll take it Joe: better though Joe: you know Joe: so I'll take it and all Ronnie: you're a headfuck Ronnie: what are you being nice to me for Joe: you said it could go one of two ways Joe: you want me to be mean Ronnie: I want you to be here Ronnie: but you ain't Joe: I'm coming Ronnie: & I'm waiting on you Ronnie: what the fuck Joe: I know Ronnie: I hate you Ronnie: I'm losing it, do you know that Joe: I'm sorry Ronnie: what am I gonna do with that Joe: I don't know Joe: what do you want me to do Ronnie: what can you do Ronnie: can't even score by yourself Ronnie: worse than a fucking kid Joe: was desperate Joe: and it was your idea Ronnie: thats how it is every time Ronnie: you don't have any fucking idea 'cause I'm here cupping your balls & wiping your arse for you Joe: you've been giving me an easy ride of it yeah Joe: alright Ronnie: youre gonna try & call bullshit on that yeah Joe: nah i just had no idea you were being so generous Joe: would've got you a keychain at least Ronnie: fuck you Joe: you too Ronnie: get one with sharp edges we can make a blood oath or some shit Ronnie: maybe after you'll grow the hell up Joe: sure Joe: it's my speciality yeah Ronnie: cutting's more mine but you can have it Ronnie: same old shit gets boring yeah Joe: we can share Joe: she'd be proud Ronnie: my aspiration in life Ronnie: cheers Joe: obvs mine too Ronnie: you brought her up then not me Joe: reckon you owed me that one so Joe: even Ronnie: 💋🖕 Joe: you're cute Ronnie: say that again & you'll be swallowing teeth Joe: don't worry, that was hot Joe: you won it back Ronnie: go to hell mckenna Joe: you wanna be with me forever Joe: 💘 Ronnie: just reckoning you'll get there quicker than you will this fucking airport Joe: just be glad I didn't try to get back in at rush hour Ronnie: be glad im still waiting Joe: ain't gonna waste words on it Joe: show you Ronnie: 💘
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