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widevibratobitch · 1 year

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Edouard de Max as Cardinal Richelieu playing with a kitten <333 Les Trois Mousquetaires (1921) dir. Henri Diamant Berger

#les trois mousquetaires #the three musketeers #i love this adaptation so much #this is not the only scene with richelieu and his cats btw!!!#but it's beyond adorable and yes YES finally an adaptation of t3m that shows the most important thing about richelieu #that he was a cat momma through and through #henri diamant berger #edouard de max #silent movies #1920s #this is already while they're at la rochelle #and i love it because this means he either took his cats from Paris to go with him to war #or he just picked up a random kitten he found at La Rochelle and adopted it #i dont know which option i like better

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vigilskeep · 5 months

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i wonder if merrill is the best fit...

#perusing my options as i get a better grasp of the character #mostly im realising how much scaea is kind of settling into this role #theres no returning to kirkwall and no living a life away from prying eyes you know #its worth saying fenris was my initial thought. id lose out on fen/bela worldstate again though which is wretched #fenris is complicated with the whole lyrium thing but thats at least interesting #theres isabela also!#i dont know that i would have gone for the white hair if i was thinking fenris skjghdksks #ah merrill/cadash is so fun though. like i say im stirring the pot #shall report back

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arts-i-enjoy · 1 month

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AHHHHHH

#this post brought to you by: me #i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses #i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP #like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready #anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT #and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk #and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message #even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL #AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year #i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job #which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind #so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something #on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now #on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT #but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to #richard started yelling and swearing el oh el #might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option #the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going #idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks #this is why i want to get out of here #also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about #not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!

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weirdbabs · 7 months

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i am once again thinking about how fucked it is that sacrificing like half to three fourths of the ships/crews to save 3 people is considered a paragon option but sacrificing about 75% of your unit to defeat the enemy is renegade. why would sacrificing thousands of people to save 3 be considered “compassionate” or “heroic” while sacrificing 75% of your unit (which is 7-14 people apparently, so like 5-11 people) to ensure you won is considered “ruthless” or “apathetic”

(i know why. its bc the first mass effect game doesnt really seem to have a grip on what it wants its morality to be much more than blue= nice, good and red= bad, mean)

#mass effect #the later games get it better imo. i really like how they did it in 3 where often times the choices lead to the same thing #like choosing the renegade vs paragon option in the geth/quarian conflict. both save both races but both speeches feel right for the option #you know?#the ME wiki describes renegade as ‘ruthless’ and ‘apathetic’ which like. *throws hands in the air* I GUESS #like personally i dont think of renegade shep as apathetic based on the ruthless background but whatever. to each their own #didnt feel like saying this when i typed it bc i was trying to get something to my mom so that took priority but i said 50-75% of the troops #bc each asset is worth 90 (75 if council saved). thats maybe 1/3 lost but im increasing it bc its been AT LEAST 2 years since the battle and #we KNOW that they had a surge of people enlisting post to fight the geth. figure in more people enlisting right after earth was hit and i #figure that numbers somewhere between 50 and 75% lost. especially since i couldnt find an actual number anywhere #personally i think me3 starts 3. maybe 3.5 years after the battle bc 2 years dead + me2 + 6 months under house arrest

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skaluli · 8 months

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"this wulf fellow has choice language"

#artluli #tf2 #i dont really like how this turned out its really bad #added shading to try and make it better but it looks worse but i guess ill post it anyway i suppose #if youre wondering why im sweating its because im terrified of playing online multiplayer games #that might sound weirdly specific but dude it gives me so so so much anxiety #ive been wanting to play more but i cant bring myself to do it because im too scared #“scared of what skaluli” the people and how well i perform #i would rather play a horror game because that shit doesnt scare me as much as fearing judgement of the people i play with because im shit #i know i shouldnt care what other people think and should just try and have fun but god this shit is scary #before anyone says anything i turned off voice chat straight away when i downloaded it thank god thats an option #but even without hearing their voices i feel like i can still hear their thoughts and judgement and anger #it took hours of trying to convince myself and then someone else telling me ill be okay just to play the game for a little bit #and when i got to leave i felt like i was having a fucking anxiety attack #anyway i really like this game but im way too scared to play it! which is fucking stupid that thats even a reason

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dishsaop · 2 months

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a hard part abt using multiple sets of names and pronouns is asking people to change it up a little without

A. implying theyve been doing anything wrong before now (they havent! you do use the names and pronouns theyve been using! but also variety is the spice of life),

B. implying theyd be doing anything wrong in the future if they DIDN'T mix it up (??its fine if they dont, they arent deadnaming or misgendering you so), or

C. having them totally stop using the name/pronouns they were using for you before, bc those are still also the right ones

#on the one hand ive found (w/exceptions) people who know me irl use mel and people who know me online use saf and almost no one uses he/him #which? like i dont even mind like i have no idea how to talk to people abt this without sounding like im sad theyve been doing it this way #but its just that. do u realize u have options. guys.#its also that i know *i* can be bad with using multiple sets of names and pronouns #which can be really shitty of me. i need to get better at asking people how they decline their neopronouns bc more than anything #ive found i dont always know how their personal neopronouns are declined and thats what keeps me defaulting to their #other set of pronouns (like when people use they/xe. theres a few ways to decline xe and i need to remember to ask instead of #only automatically using they. which IS shitty of me)#this was going somewhere. RIGHT #i have three names i use regularly and two sets of pronouns and i GENUINELY DO NOT MIND if you only ever use one of each #but have u heard the word. you can mix it up #m text

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paging-possum · 5 days

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Who up listening to good luck babe by chappell roan and having it resonate not in the way intended but resonating nonetheless. About to go ham in the tags about the overlap of being a lesbian and being aromantic...if u even care....

#my art #gore #organs #its 2am so not a lot of this is going to be very coherent but this song makes me feel a lot of things about it all #like. its the Expectations #the expectation that im going to date men and the expectation that im going to date at all have always felt equally stifling #theres that feeling of not trying hard enough or not realizing it at first or trying to lean into what you're told you should feel #and having it not pay off time and time again and wishing you could just make it work #because everyone else around you has it just fine and you dont get why you're struggling with it so much #THERE ARE MORE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE TWO IS WHAT IM SAYING #like obviously figuring out aromanticism is especially weird because its a lack of something BUT THEYRE PRETTY SIMILAR #realizing I dont want to date anyone mirrors realizing I didn't like boys but like. idk man its worse sometimes?#I wouldn't trade it for the world it means a lot to me but its almost like people go out of their way not to understand it sometimes #at the end of the day I am the you in that song #it was a very very long road to being okay with never falling in love because that was something I wanted for a very very long time #at the end of the day I will never have to be someones wife and I think its better that way #but its also hard not to get jealous sometimes #like I know its irrational I know I get physically ill at just the thought of being asked out but like #sometimes ill see my friends with their girlfriends and ill feel like clawing my own chest out with want #but also if anyone asks me out I will have to dig myself into a pit and never come out. I think.#I want to be with women but I dont want to Be With Women if that makes sense #its another layer of difficulty that I dont think I'll ever be able to get past #I feel like at this point I should just be trying to conditioning myself out of any form of desire because its just not an option for me #which definitely isn't true and like chappell roan says. you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.#but its also so tiring to have to sit here with the feeling and feel bad for having the feeling.#I dont know #I think if I felt a little more or a little less I’d be fine but I’m stuck in the middle #it feels very weird talking about this openly but also its very difficult to talk about with friends because most of them dont get it #anyways something something Josies monologue from bottoms #im going to bed

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bittwitchy · 9 days

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see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd #but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well #just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well #which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out #which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore #its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi #see the other thing is #if i talk about my mental health at all #people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint #or feel sorry for me which i also dont want #all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all #like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff #i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly #im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares #i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to #and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one #they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored #im losing my mind steadily #and thats not even onto the physical problems #but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying #‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket #if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your #fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces #sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues #but then i talk to other women and it is #it just doesnt make sense and i hate it #but i never rly got help on private insurance either so #tbd #depression cw

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trujellyfish · 21 days

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not to sound like a quitter, but.

#wat do u do wen ur in iceland with two of ur best friends #but u cant fucking sleep #and u dont have any of ur creature comforts and by gods are u a creature of comfort #and u have no money #and youve put very little effort towards this trip and even less money lmao #like wow i have ppl who will just. buy me plane tickets and tour tickets and food #which is lovely but ultimately soul crushing #bc im going to spend the next four years repaying that #bc i cant get it the fuck together with my spending habits #like ffs im almost 30 and i keep spending my money like a 10yo who found $5 in the street #and cash doesnt feel like a real option in iceland #and unfortunately i also screwed myself by not getting my new credit card #there is. a lot of negativity in my brain rn.#yeah its bc im tired as shit but with the insomnia #like i would pretend to sleep bc i know its better than doom scrolling but fuck #my brain refuses to be distracted from the self loathing rn #2hrs of lying there and i was like okay ill read fic for a bit so i stop. Thinking.#but then i close my eyes and my brain just fucking flushes itself again #anyway. screaming. hollering. homesick.#i only have unhealthy coping mechanisms at this point and unfortunately my fave one is illegal here sooooo.......#might try buying a pack of smokes tmrw lmao #provided i dont find anything sharp first heyyo

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craycraybluejay · 1 month

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sex and hormone therapy and killing my abusers and doing hard drugs will fix me

#who boutta fix me #its really easy those are the steps #also like turning my therapist immortal #but thats optional i dont wanna see her die tho :(#but um #*flirting* do you fw any mafias aha like do you know any hired guns yk haha like just asking #ive been out of the dating pool for awhile but when i dated i constantly was drawn to dangerous ppl #it was fun! i was like a weird protsgonist with a murderer-o-meter #i kinda hope i see my ex at an upcoming social function just so i can revel in that #i know what they did and its unlikely many others do #i just like the knowing #and networking around #which btw always network everywhere even if its not a networking event #u never ever know when someones skills or luck can be useful to you or when you can pay it forward and help someone else #capitalists dont want there to be upward mobility n ppl try to make networking sound hard #but the truth is its just meeting as many ppl as u can and being polite and friendly #and even making real friends!#also always know your worth skills wise and be able to pitch at just an amateur level #like 'hi i do art and ive been dabbling at my dads mechanic job'#is more than enough #or even 'hi nice to meet you-- you seem really cool what do you do?'#remember not to overthink and just be genuinely curious about other ppl and open and receptive to new social dynamics #and dont write off even the most drastic opportunities #if you need time to think on it just say that #anyway what was i saying #im gonna get better and if someone doesnt fix me i will fix me

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bunnyb34r · 4 months

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I know I have a severe case of dematillomania and trichotillomania bc I think ab getting surgical tools like multiple times a year when I have a particularly stubborn DEEP hair

#marquilla #i need: localized anesthetic. tiiiiiny scalpel. tiiiiiny hemostats. tiiiiny clamps. okay mostly i want a scalpel #ive thought ab using an exacto blade more than once. only thing stopping me is the probability of hitting an artery or blood vessel :/#it's too high. my fear of blood is severely diminished when im digging out a hair but it comes back when i see a gush from digging too far #well the pain also stops me i should add that. but mostly the blood vessel thing #i know i have a severe case but i dont intend on stopping bc none of the suggested coping mechanisms and alternatives help me #listen man it's this or smoking. i need something and this does less damage to my body #i can have a little self destructive coping mechanism as a treat #it'd be drinking if i could stomach alcohol. too self aware/cheap to do drugs. seriously consider smoking hence why this is my alternative #and why i dont talk to my therapists ab it anymore. and im too not poor but uhhh financially aware? to gamble #like ive gambled at carnivals lol and my mom will play this one game for hours if we let her (which is funny bc throughout my childhood the #guy running that booth every year was our neighbor we had beef with. we preteneded to not know each other during the carnival agsgdgdggd #i seriously consider smoking like 6x a year but the cosmetic damage (yellow teeth. yellow brittle nails. whatever the hell it does to fuck #up your skin) are more heavy deterrents than the health aspects. also im cheap and hate the smell of smoke sgdgdggd so lucky me huh?#so i need SOME unhealthy coping mechanism so this is better than the other options. besides this is KEEPING me from those so..

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kurtbrussels · 1 year

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drop your routine in the notes im genuinely curious