#i dont like that side of my family! especially my grandpa!

[the-kneesbees]

any band I like be in boston on my birthday challenge

[nyx-is-missing]

SUNSET PART 1

Or early summer!

Clarisse La Rue x Cassandra De Young (oc! Apollo's kid)

Summary: When Cassandra gets involved in a scandal early in the day, she goes to camp early.

Warnings: men....thats all i could think of actualy.

First read this!

Part 2 is here!

Cassandra De Young

Im fucked.

That's it, that's all i can say.

I knew it as soon as my hand reached his face and stinged, as soon as i heard a camera's flash, and as soon as i stepped into my mom's apartment.

Let's just rewind a bit, okay?

My family own a big business, that you already know by now, the thing is, when they reeaally want to do business with someone they go extreme, the most common technique is to get on the good side of everyone in the family, everyone.

They research, pretend to have things in common, to like the same things, to have the same views of life, and to make it more believable they always go for the person who is closest in age with them.

Usually i dont get involved in this situations because im younger than everyone else, the only teen in the family.

The thing is, this family also had someone around my age.

A 18 year old guy.....eighteen.

Let me tell you, i really wasn't going for trouble today, i tought he may be a normal guy, just with a little money, someone i could have a conversation with, drink some coffe, laugh and go back home and think "hey, not so bad"

He.was.not.

All he could talk about is how much money his family had, where he went for winter break, his pure blood horse, that only ate (attention to this one) IMPORTED GRASS.

Overall a huge dick.

But that i could handle, i've met people like this, i could handle a shitty talk for some hours, what i could not handle was having to go through all this with his hand on my knee bellow the table.

And here i was, spending one of my last days of spring being tortured by the fates.

"You're not paying much attention to the conversation are you?" He said, and gods that accent was almost making me want to jump out of a cliff, or push him out of a cliff, both would work.

"Oh sorry i was-"

"No need to apologize, people get bored i know" Not that he did something criminal by not letting me finish my sentence but, my gods every action coming from him its making me want to die right now "Its okay, i could find some way to make you focus"

Okay, im done

"Im gonna need you to stop saying odd shit" I looked him dead in the eye with a bothered look, and by the surprised look he gave me back i was 100% sure nobody ever told him to shut up when he was saying nonsense.

"C'mon, dont be like that-" he said trying to get his hand a little but upwards, and i only realized i slapped him when i felt my hand burning.

"Oh my gods im sorry i-" And then i heard the camera flashes.

Im going to need you to imagine the scene, my hand was still up, his hand was till on his cheek, and he had a scared look in his face, as did most of the people at the fancy coffe shop.

Do i smile now? Strike a pose? This one is definetly getting front pages at every place.

I chose the safest choice, got out of that straight to my house.

No..i did not payed the bill.

The whole way home i was trying really hard to think of something to say that was not going to make my family mad, especially my grandfather, but considering whe has always mad with something, that felt like a impossible mission.

First thing i saw when i opened the door of the penthouse was my mom, standing in front of the television, and sure enough, my face was on it.

She turned to me, but before she could even say something i started to explain myself.

"Its not what it looks like mom, i swear, i didn't do it on pourpose, let me explain please-" i couldnt actually read the look on her face, but she didnt say anything, so  i took that as a go ahead.

When i explained her what happened her face relaxed a bit, but not completely, and she had a look that said your grandpa is getting in my nerves because of this.

"I'll talk to your grandfather about this, but you need to know that the way you acted wasn't appropriate, there is cameras all around and you need to be careful...lets just thank the gods you didnt pulled out a dagger right?" She walked closer to me, and i knew she was trying to comfort me, its a pitty actually, i knew she didnt wanted kids when she had me, i knew how grandpa treated her when he found out, to me, it was enough that she at least tried to love me enough.  "You already have your things packed to camp right? I know you have some more days of school but ill call them and tell them you are sick, its best for you to leave earlier this year, then your grandfather wont talk your ears out...you okay with that?"

"Yes mama, ill just finish packing some small things...do i leave today?" I felt her hands on my shoulders, and heard a silent im sorry.

"Yes, but dont be like that, think that you at least wont have to see the news talking about you..youll just be there, with your siblings, eating strawberies and..whatever else demigods do daily, right?"

Like i said, it is enough to me that she tries, even when she isnt great all the time, i know people who dont even have this.

I nodded and went to my room, making sure not to accidentally hit a new sculpture, placed in the corridor.

I didnt wait for her when i finished packing.

I knew she wouldnt be the one to take me there, she never is, she has things to do with the family business, its what ive always heard.

So when i got to the underground garage with my bags i automatically searched for one of the family drivers, sure enough, he was there.

He was a nice guy, but quiet, i knew that he probably had orders not to talk to the family members unless spoken to, grandpa did this with all of them, i also knew he never actually knows where hes been taking me, he takes me there almos every year, but always stops at the road in front of the forest, maybe this sad look he has on his face its because he thinks he is taking me to one of those crazy wilderness therapies as a punishment.

Granpa would absolutely do that if he hadnt had to live with a great public appearence.

"Miss? We are here" He looked at me in the rearview mirror, i only realized i had doze of when my eyes met his and i blinked. "Hold on tight, im going to help you with your luggage okay?"

"Oh..thank you mr bell" He opened the trunk, and then the back door for me, extending his hand to help me get out of the car "thank you, again"

"Sure miss, just let me take your bags out and we are all set okay?-"

Another car dor noise made us both look to the right, to find Clarisse La rue, closing a taxi door, with just one big suitcase in hand.

Now, my story with Clarisse is kind of complicated, i've met her when he were, eight i guess, her family bought some shares in the family business and we saw each other very regulaly, and ever since then everything everyone told me about her is that she is a troublesome girl, that i should stay far.

But she was the one who realized i was a demigodess, and took me straight to camp when a monster found me, and she was the one who, many times when we were little, comforted me when my family made me cry.

It seems like she forgot all of that because she never even looks at me.

If you ask her, she has never even met me at all actually.

"Clarisse, you're early"

"Cassandra, you too-"

"Cass actually, i prefer cass" i corrected her, to wich she just rolled her eyes and muffled a whatever. "Thats all you are taking? One suitcase?"

"And you are taking all that? How do you plan on walking the whole way with all that? Im assuming he wont go with you" she said looking at mr bell, and its true, he could not walk the whole way with me, and i could not walk with all that alone...fuck

"....you could help m-"

"No, dont even think about it"

"C'mon Clarisse!" She didnt even answered me this time actually. "Arent you a Ares-" i looked at the driver taking the suitcases out. "A ares...type of kid? You will pass on the oportunity to demonstrate your muscles or whatever?"

She started to walk away with a bored look, did i already said fuck?

"C'mon ill do whatever! I- i dont know.. 20 dracmas!, no?, ill help you with the cleaning duty you'll eventually have when you fuck it up? I..ill do that AND ill cure you anytime you want, everyday, no matter the time!"

She stopped walking.

Yes! I knew it, one of the many problems clarisse had its that she likes to go out at night to train alone, and when she gets hurt she cant ask anyone to help her, because she would get caught

"Give me those suitcases already and shut up-" she was interrupted by a very happy me hugging her.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouclarisse!"

I felt her hands on my arms and realized she was going to push me away, so i took a step back

"Geez Clarisse, you could've just told me to back off, dont be like that... just take these and ill take those"

I said pointing to the suitcases, and saying goodbye to mr bell.

Can i already welcome summer and his crazy energy? No? Okay.

[mrmrswales]

Is it just my wretched soul, or is it toxic as fuck to insist that either side in this conflict should make up with the other? Like, I dont know, maybe I missed a bit of pop psychology, but telling people, any people, that they should forgive, play nice and accept back into their lives family that has caused them pain and humiliation just because “family is good” or “grandpa is old” or “what will ppl think?” seems psychotic to me.

anon you are preaching to the choir and the amount of anons I get about how dare I wish William to never reconcile with his once beloved brother means I truly don't care for him etc etc etc can rightly fuck off

and it's like nope it means I don't want toxic ass people in his life and in his family's life.. why the fuck would I want him to be surrounded by a brother who literally sold him out for a quick buck? who shared deeply personal things that he had no business sharing with the whole fucking world? like who the fuck does it serve to share that your brother is fucking circumcised?!!!!

as a long time William girl I know damn well that one of the most important things to him is trust and his family.. so why would I want the asshole that violated both things soo thoroughly back in his life?

also big fuck you to the people that especially put the responsibility on William to reconcile.. the whole be the bigger brother, be the future king bullshit.. no fuck you and the high horse you rode on

Team 2KCutToxicFamilyOut23

[meatriarch]

my brain is hurting today but bc its now on the mind,

i think what makes luda so interesting to write for is just truly that strong maternal presence within the family but also just? her openness, too, that allows for her to be sympathetic and almost regretful at times towards the familys' victims.

within this blogs' base canon across the board the sawyers already have a very Interesting history re: how they keep their family afloat ( ie. the c.annibalism, the murders ) but, the hewitts side? never did until both luda joined the family yes but mainly once h*yt returned from his deployment & p.ow experience. luda, however, never took part in the sawyer traditions - or, perhaps, not knowingly. there's always the chance that during hard times her parents / grandparents had silently put food on the table by any means necessary - but, even canonically to the remakes, with exception to how cold her personality was in '03, like. luda does appear to be fairly polite and gentle to a point with outsiders. and sure maybe thats just part of the front the family puts up to coax victims in but, i do think luda also is just. more of a warmer personality by default. strong and at times stubborn as hell, but warm regardless.

but speaking in terms of the dire au's where maria and lee, for example, are brought into the family by johnny, luda takes to them both fairly quickly. whether thats in cc, or nosy, or dusk. regardless of how them being held captive and eventually assimilated in pans out, if johnny brings them over to the hewitt property, luda has always treated them as kindly as possible.

and part of that yes is because of her closeness to johnny, but its also that initial meeting she had with lee - during the friendgroups' searches - where she took to him pretty fast, and quietly gave him a warning to get his friends and leave before they got caught up into any trouble. luda tried to give him an out. he was kind. he was polite. not at all like many of the younger folk that pass through town, you know? she tried. he didnt listen - none of the friends had. and seeing him dragged in beat to shit and everything was upsetting to her, deep down. but perhaps thats why she always resolved to be gentle towards him - harsh, scolding - but gentle. like a mother. like a grandmother.

and with maria, the poor girl in luda's eyes was just scared. and she knows very well why that is, and understands it completely. when you dont live among the types of family dynamics the sawyers & hewitts do, their way of living and survival is horrifying. but, despite all the horrors and feeling completely alone, she watched as maria remained polite too. gentle. kind. timid. how she'd offer to help her around the house, or helped her with cooking or baking something. she saw how maria, in turn, slowly started to influence how johnny was too. and knew that elsewhere within the family, it'd be far more difficult to try and welcome her as one of their own.

i think its just like. the hewitt family side is so fractured, so spread out, so limited in their contact with one another. luda i think misses what the sawyer side had in her younger years - those bonds, that tight-knit, supportive family unit. with the families both respectively suffering especially as grandpa sawyer really declined, i think luda just wants that feeling of family again. and even though bringing in outsiders who may not fully understand what the family has to do to survive and may never build up that same loyalty to one another as the family does, i think shes so partial to both maria & lee especially because they both bring to the table that sense of normalcy the familys missing - that sense of love, of compassion, of care. something not so rooted in just fighting to live day by day but to live in the moment, too.

idk its just. luda reads at times as such an outlier in comparison to the rest of the family and its very interesting to compare how she is to other notable members like nancy or drayton or earl etc.

[daegall]

HII oh my gosh sorry for not dropping in 😅 life's been really hectic lately HAHA

i heard you got tickets to the dream show !!!! congrats !!!! have sm fun there <3 and also happy sweet 17 cuz ik thats a special age for ppl in indo, my friend's alw talking about getting presents for her friends cuz most of them r turning 17 this year HAHA

i hope you're still taking care of urself <3 i'm so happy to hear all ur tests are going well,, and that you're working out too!!

and tbh i kinda get what you mean about politics? personally i'm trying really hard to catch up but the thing is school life is so busy 😭

life has been an entire rollercoaster lately </3 i fell sick three weeks ago and getting better took so long 😭 and then now i'm getting back to dance and my time management is not managing 😭

lately i've had less deadlines but this friday oh my days 😨😨😨 everything is piling up 😬😬 luckily we have wednesday off for eid and thursday is also like a day off but with more homework so !! hopefully i get everything done soon 🤞🤞

HBU HOW HAS UR WEEK BEEN!! are you muslim btw? cuz ik a lot of people in indo r looking forward to lebaran 🤩

- 🥬

HI BBY FIRSTLY THANK UOUUU 💓💓💓💓💓 im so happy i can gooo alsp the tickets r lowkey my birthday present so !!! yeah!!!! super exctied super happy 💞

oh noooo i know exactky how that feels to fall behidn bc of sickness 💔💔💔 you'll get back on ur feet honey i know u can!!!! just take yoyr time, and dont rush things!!! and always believe yourself <3

i am not muslim actually!!! i have a lot of family from my mom's side that are, but I'm christian 🤟🤟 LOL but ywah!!! i celebrate with my aunties and ubcles and especially with my grandpa!!! we sent him a lot of food this year since we cant spend it with him :(( i miss him a lotn💔💔 but i hope you have an amazing lebaran too if you celebrate it!! 💗💗💗 so good to hear from you again ^3^

[musigrusi]

More random Headcanons of 141

And since I'm a horse girly, we gon add unnecessary amounts of equines (including my own)

Soap is the kinda guy who would love animals like no other, but with the same amount of knowledge as a chicken has about being a shark, you get me?

Ask the man to feed a cat, yES he will do so, but don't be surprised when you find the cat eating pizza.

Bestie says he would be the second half to my demonic stallion (I agree wholeheartedly)

While Soap and my good-for-nothing horse (his name is Legolas by the way... I *had* hopes when I named him... not anymore) would be partners in crime by unintentionally causing the most chaotic of accidents, baby stallion (whose name was almost Hades but I changed it to Leviathan) and Soap would *intentionally* cause the most chaos fathomable to the laws of physics.

Ghost, man... I would put him in a horse therapy group. You know what you do during equine therapy sessions?

You pet them

You brush them

Sometimes you go on a quick spin on them (definitely am not bitter that my family didnt put me in an equine therapy program as a kid, not me, not at all)

Ghost has a handful of cats he just randomly collects from the side of the road too. They got their own cat room, cat TV, couch, a bazillion cat beds in all shapes and forms and... indoor grown, well trimmed cat grass.

Gaz... I feel like he's one of those guys that like animals but dont seek them out? But when they befriend one, it's for LIFE and they will do anything for em?

Which makes him best friend material for dumbass Leggy (or the very pissy matriarch of my collection, Titan)

Rudy has a Banana Ball Python he named "Pasta". Alejandro is deadly afraid of her while Valeria is besties with her (it started off as her befriending danger noodle out of spite for Alejandro but turned into a true and beautifully sinister friendship).

Graves' grandpa is an old farmer and the brat defo helped him out on the ranch before. Boy is a proper cowboy.

And for that exact reason I would dare him to work with Titan (my pissy mare).

Dude will either become her new favorite human or learn physics like never before. 20/80, not in his favor.

I'd put Shepard on her too, especially when she's in one of her shitty moods. Couple that with his old values of "you break em and build em back up" and you got his death reciept guaranteed.

Alejandro loves cows. He wants a full ranch of em for the sole purpouse of cuddling, grooming and petting. I'm also feeling like he would be slightly intimidated by horses (lol especially the pissy one, who isnt tho. Also not helping that if he would be introfuced to mine... well I only have giants, no ponies or normally sized horses around my stables) so he'd either play farmer with a trusty old quad, should he ever settle down. Or he would get a sturdy lil Quarter pony, maybe even a Mustang (I totally see him as one of those "Wendy" girls, "wE hAvE suCh A StRoNg CoNNeCtIoN" those chicks? yeah he is one of em and he defo watched the movie Spirit, then went out and bought a Buckskin/Dun Mustang and named him Spirit too)

Since we're on the topic of "what horse do they ride", here's my own list: Alejandro and his sturdy lil Dun/Buckskin Spirit

Graves would ride his Gramps' old strawberry roan bronc named "Bob" who's probs been considered old before Graves was even born and yet he's still going strong

Shepard, god I hate this guy, he gets a good old American Saddlebred, Chestnut, constantly looks like she's on the acid trip of her life (I find saddlebreds' expressions so fucken entertaining, 10/10) and her name is "Sandy"

Soap gets a Haflinger to A) deal with his bullshit like a champ and B) add to the crazies. The name is probably "Alastaire". Haflingers only come in flaxen chestnut (varying in shade, rarely pure chestnut) so there u go for the colour

RUDY MY LOVE gets a Criollo, suitable in location and even more suitable in their firey nature. defo has an Overo/Sabino Roan+Buckskin Paint named "Fernandito". Fernandito is a cool dude, only scared of Chihuahuas tho.

Valeria has a GIGANTIC Lusitano Stallion, either pitch black with mean eyes or a golden chestnut Pearl with green ones (yes they do actually have green-ish eyes sometimes) His name is something like "Gladiolus" or "Cor Leonis" any FF15 fans eh?

Ghost... I think he probs walked in to an auction once bc he saw a sign and found a scared little ugly duckling, felt a connection and bought him for like 300 bucks (basically Leggy's OG story, that's why I thought these two would click) His name is "Spooky" and he's a blue roan dun with a white face and blue eyes

Gaz first took over his neighbor's shetland after she passed away and then decided, fuck it, and went out to buy another horse as a companion. Now, I would believe he's the kinda guy who would pay top buck for whatever he wants. And he decided on a top grade low 6 figure Warmblood he imported from Germany with the likes of Donnerhall, Franziskus, Totilas and Quarterback all stuffed into his pedigree which made one(1) dangly silky coated long noodle. The shetty is probably a lump of semi white-ish furr named "Chickeb Nugget" and the Warmblood is probably a basic ass bay, 4 white socks named "Kevin". He has an official name (something like "dancing shadows" or "Donner's Hall" or whatever other whackey play on speech the germans come up with) but that name was too official for Kyle so he only calls his 6 FIGURE HORSE "Kevin". Extra brownie points when he exclusively goes on walks with the two of them and gets dragged regularly by Nugget. Not even rides Kevin, let alone have other people ride or even compete him ... no, Kevin, top grade dressage horse, spends his days in the field, caked in mud and living his 6 figure life.

Also Gaz bought all the top grade gear and stuff for his furr babies. 6k saddle that he never uses? Check. Custom made Bridles that he too does not ever use? Check. A collection of saddlepads, leg protection and fly bonnets that would make This Esme go pale? double check. 12 thousand blankets for any change in temperature (even for the hermetically sealed Nugget)? Check. Monthly checkup by the chiro/massage therapist, visits to an aqua trainer, top grade supplements and only bio apples and carrots for Nugget and Kevin? Check Check and Check. A 80k horse box to drive them around once every blue moon? check, he also had it custop wrapped with their pictures on it.

Price gets an icelandic horse. They are pretty small ranging from 125cm to 150cm but incredibly sturdy and strong, meaning, the PERFECT CAMPING BUDDY. Plus Icelandic Horses can eat fish so Price has someone to feed the fish he catches to lol. I immagine that he got an averagely sized 140cm tall girl he named „Fish“ because A) he loves fishing and B) „Fish“ likes to eat fish (premium dad joke right there). Fish is a silver dapple (they are super rare and hella cool) with so much hair that Price either puts in an ugly ass braid or just all together ties it to the side.

For Laswell I’m torn between a tennessee walker or a friesan, so lets just say she has both. The tennessee walker is a proper golden palomino (a real ass barbie horse) and her name is Jodie. Jodie has one braincell. The friesan I immagine is a big boy, and since friesans only come as black, he‘s black. His name is „The dark Emperor“ and is primarily Kate‘s wife‘s horsey, they nickname him dumbo because he got unreasonably large ears. Dumbo and Jodie share her braincell and are the perfect „old married horse couple“.

König my man. His uncle took over the family‘s farm and König used to help out by driving the horse cart around and such. He found a Noriker mare at a market once and immediately fell in love and bought her. She now vibes at his uncle‘s farm with the cows and occasionally will help out with the local forest work (pulling tree trunks in remote areas). He named her „Sissi“, sometimes calls her „Punktle“ tho (little dot) and she’s a dotted thicc chick. They have a shaby old horse trailer that is basically a metal frame with old moldy wood and a rug as a roof, Sissi doesn‘t complain tho, she once trailered on the back of his pickup. She‘s also the town‘s favorite pony to ride when they do a town fare (She gets beer afterwards as a reward).

Roach found the shittiest OTTB out there and said „That one is perfect, I take it“. This thing has more issues than Payboy magazine. GIGANTIC and skinny as shit, suuuper hard to gain weight and has one mental meltdown after another but Roach deals phenominally with it. Her name is probably „Roach“ as an homage to his own callsign but also to „The Witcher“ lol. Roach is a dull brown kind of bay.

Farah gets an Arabian Mare no Qs asked. A dark liver chestnut, absolutely stunning, looks like she‘s coloured with dried blood and her name is Safanad after the mare from King Solomon‘s legend. Fiesty around anyone but Farah and loyal to a T. Absolutely hates the feeling of gras tho lol.

Alex I immagine would get himself a Fjord and go camping with Price with it. He named her „Mjölnir“ after Thor‘s hammer, since Fjords are a Norwegian breed but can‘t pronounce her name so he just calls her Milly instead for short (And to save himself the embarassement). Milly is a simple creature, give her food, water, somewhere to sleep and she‘ll be beyond content. He defo got her a whole western rig, but rides her bitless in a ropehalter because he tried a bit once and she was so upset with him, she didn‘t accept treats for a week (Sounds familliar to me lol). Mjölnir is a typical dun, as all Fjords are, but I immagine her to be slightly darker and after living out his „Fjord roached mane“ phase, let the mane grow out into a messy fluff.

I went overboard again lol… never mind, I think I will do some more hc‘s along the lines of „What kinda X does Y have?“

Also, for all my non horsey people, here are the respective horsies in whatever order (Alejandro, Graves, Shepard, Soap, Rudy, Valeria option 1 and 2, Ghost, Gaz small horse, big horse, Price, Laswell, König, Roach, Farah and Alex)

Also bonus for those that scrolled all the way down, here‘s a pic of my Leggy gremlin

[navysealt4t]

@misty-lilies ROCKS !!!!! ok actually the majority of them arent rlly rocks but. ROCKSS

FIRST OFF!!!! CORAL!

these are dead pieces of coral me and my mom found on a beach in hawaii!!! they have a rlly funny texture, especially the ones with all the tiny holes in em :) also while collecting them i spotted a hawaiian monk seal on the beach!! which is like. my favorite sea creature ever <3

NOW SEASHELLS

i collected these on a beach in florida with my aunt :) these are the ones i got and my sister stole all the cooler ones below </3 also i can stack all my sea shells up really cool they all fit into each other nicely :) makes brain go happy

OK NOW ACTUALLY ROCKS!!!!! well. more specifically FLINTS!!!!

these ones i did not collect!!! these flints were collected by my great grandma and great grandpa in at a mountain in utah :) i got the jar of them at a family reunion because i guessed the closest number of flints!! i also won a jar of tiny sea shells they collected but i was too lazy to find it </3

also. theres a REALLY COOL flint that was sharpened into the shape of an arrowhead and it was like pitch black n rlly cool but i dont know where it went :((

we got some really big flints, kinda transparent and shiny flints, and a lil piece i think is like really really dried wood??? it doesnt feel like rock but its way too hard to be like fresh wood so. petrified wood maybe? idk but theyre stored in this rlly cute jar!!!

NOW... SEA GLASS!!!!

i was taking a big roadtrip down the west coast of the us (washington to oregon to california!) and we stopped at a glass beach in either oregon or cali!!! anyway its cool seeing where all the glass is from! most of the brown sea glass is from beer bottles !!! white/clear and brown are definitely the most common :)

also !!! take this cool piece of fake gold i found on the side of the road <3 have no clue what it actually is but its sick as fuck!

and finally . i leave u with my parting words.

clay among us figures i made in art class <3

[ashtraysystem]

honestly, if i felt like i could handle it i would totally go live with my grandparents for the summer.

idk if i could be that far away from my partner for that long tho. and idk if my grandparents would be chill about me and my homo partner staying with them.

i mean they've met my partner, idk if they really know that they are my partner tho??? i dont think ive ever told them????? i dont remember,,,

but like going out there for the summer, hanging with my grandparents, helping grandma with the garden, maybe learn how to drive grandpa's old truck, gods that sounds so fun and chill. especially after so much school nonsense.

id overheat and burn like hell but i feel like it would be worth it.

i kinda miss all the fun times and grandparent's house. pushpops on the porch watching the others play football in the yard and almost dent the cars, idly pulling weeds in the flower beds just to spend time outside, the neighbors dog that you had to be careful of bc she would pee on you immediately bc shes so happy to see you (i think she may have passed at this point, rip), fresh raspberries warm from the summer sun....

godssssssss i miss it so much. but can i go back? can i go back and suffer through the medical reasons we left?

bc last time i went back there i realized its so much dryer and harder to breathe up there. the air is thinner, but thick with smog from being trapped in the mountains. and the dry heat bakes me alive, making me literally sick from overheating which is part of why i stayed indoors so often.

someday i wish to find my own version of that, preferrably out here where its cooler. i could tolerate going a little bit south tho tbh.

i want a cute little cottage with a luscious garden full of raspberries, strawberries, spinach, maybe even peas!!! there are some peas i dont mind as much as other peas, and fresh off the plant peas cannot be beat! ooh a giant honeysuckle that maybe some kids wandering through find, and steal a snack from. a lemon tree so i could make the most delicious lemonade. have little tea parties with the creatures in the garden. build a little pond side house for frogs, some houses for birds and bats, have a large, lanky cat that roams the garden with me while outside but then comes back in when it's time to pull pie out of the oven for tonights dinner with family (and that mostly includes found family mind you). Return to my room and read a book while sipping on a cup of tea, not too sweet but not too bitter, not too hot and not too cold, the perfect balance.

oh how i long for the day when my fantasies can perhaps become realities.

[whitepassingpocs]

I dont like to say it because some white people might be weird about it but...

(Happy vent? Happy rant? Infodump? Idk if this is accepted here cause its not really a question just me being happy and proud but ye!)

I was raised white american with some dutch and polish influence because that was the closest my family had to their cultures on my mom's side with my dad's side being an enigma due to family dieing while my parents generation was quite young and disconnecting and a butt load of trauma. That and some light sprinkles from my half brothers(my dads son, we dont share a mom) italian side and the whispers of scotch-irish my great grandpa gave us.

As a kid, ive always felt a connection to native american culture. I really loved movies about it and it felt right. Ive always had a sort of connection to nature with impecible intuition. Ive felt watched over and protected by natural spirits that i couldnt see and felt a deep and on going connection to the earth. I could see spirits and creatures no one else could and picked up things others didnt. I felt ig... "Awake" to nature and the spirit world.

I substituted myself with wiccanism and paganism because it felt the most right at the time and did my best to keep it white/celtic/polish as to not appropriate other cultures. I was like this from basically 12 to 19. I came out as bi around 13 and trans/nonbinary around 16.

Finally, when i was 19, my mom bothered to mention that my great grandpa on her mom's side was an inuit man(some form of first Nations Canadian) and my great grandma on her dad's side was cherokee. Suddenly i had all these native american heritages that made so much more sense, especially concerning our more native features.

The more i read up on my native cultures and two-spiritism, everything in my life started to make more sense. My gender finally felt right, my orientation, my masculinity, my affinity towards nature and natural sources. The fact that two spirits, in many tribes, are considered closer to the great spirit and a blessing unto the tribe and the family( when i was made to feel unwanted and burdenous to my family due to disability and mental illness). It showed me that even if white society never understood me, i would of been and am loved and respected by my native communities and sometimes i cant help but cry when i think about it.

Being native is hard and every new tragedy being unearthed makes it even harder. Thanksgiving is becoming unbearable by the year but honestly, reconnecting and acknowledging this part of me i subconsciously knew was there and finally learning about my native ancestors has given me so much healing and pride. Ik pple tend to dislike the combinations of what white pple call "horoscope gemstone instagram magic stupidity" aka natural religious practices and non-white community but knowing all this time that even if i cant prove it, what i see and feel is real and that my spirituality, gender, orientation and race are combined in just the label two spirit is what makes me... Well me just brings me so much happiness. It fits like a glove.

Ik that just because you feel a connection to a culture throughout your life dosent mean you are that culture obviously but to me... Idk. Not to get spiritual but it feels like some source of power, be it ancestors or whatever, was always pushing me to investigate and now everything suddenly feels so right. The final puzzle piece of my nativeness was placed and it makes me feel so complete 💚💚💚

thank you for sharing your beautiful story 💕

[prowl-autism-extraordinaire]

people who didnt grow up in the bible belt- especially athiests who didnt grow up in the bible belt- are so difficult to talk to. you dont get it! the only reason my grandpa agreed to go to the er is because it was a catholic hospital!! my dad's side of the family almost refused to see my brother when he was born in a catholic hospital and not baptist!! people straight up will just not get medical care rather than go to a secular facility or even a facility of a different sect. and even if i manage to convey this information, i have to deal with people ranting about how stupid it is like fuck offffffffff. it isnt stupid to believe in something. are principles only a good thing when you like them? dont answer that

[usertiff]

i thought you said once you were jewish but you talk only about being indigenous and white?

sorry for the delay in answering this i had to mull over how strange it was at first to have someone like analyzing my ethnicity or remembering aspects LOL but im going to assume possibly you're someone struggling with your own identity or smth??? and answer

but tbh if you're looking for help with rediscovering being jewish, i am not the one to ask and the reason for that will be clear below. if you need help reconnecting to indigeneity however, that's a different story.

long story, bc i weirdly am giving u way too much background info for an anon LMAO but a tldr is included

to begin, my ethnicity is as follows: norwegian, german, chatiks si chatiks, niitsitapi, and well, ashkenazi jewish

so, yes, i'm ethnically ashkenazi jewish on my maternal grandma's side (indigenous on my maternal grandmother's side as well, my great grandma was jewish, my great grandpa indigenous). however, i was not raised with the knowledge of it. i did some digging, talking to my my grandpa, my mom and my aunt's (who knew all along but are gen x'ers and a boomer, and just... didn't really care at all except my mom and one aunt who also felt kind of sad about it), and they all said the same thing: my great-grandma chose to whitewash us (and therefore didn't even tell her kids, including my grandma, until later in life) because her mother and father did as well, for mostly safety reasons, but also fitting in reasons, because where i live was where most germans settled. (like for example, my paternal ancestry is literally just norwegian and german. my dad is half norwegian and german lmao, my paternal grandma immigrated from norway, and my paternal grandfather's was like a 2nd-gen immigrant or smth, they came over quite awhile after my cousins side of the family came over a loooong time ago idfk it's stupid i dont really care about all that.) and it might be silly to some but it was important to my grandparents i guess, especially because one of my grandpa's was a general(??? something???) in ww2.

TLDR anyway, long story short, my grandparents hid who we are, didn't raise their kids as jewish neither in religion nor even by telling them their ethnicity til they were older. SO i don't feel comfortable claiming my jewish ethnicity? like... idk it is weird because since finding out i am jewish, i feel this weird sense of heartbreak that 1. i partially don't know who i am, 2. that my grandparents were so desperate to fit in they literally hid a major part of themselves, 3. i lost out on a lot of culture because they simply chose to omit this part of our lives, idk i could go on???

so while part of me wants to try and reconnect what it means to be jewish, there's another part of me that feels uncomfortable doing so, as if ... idk... like i'm not allowed? it's a much different feeling than being indigenous and reconnecting, especially because i grew up knowing i'm indigenous and already having bits and pieces of that culture.

unnecessary information of me rambling on below

and as for my indigeneity, there wasn't really any hiding the color of my great-grandpa's skin. even as our genes have been passed down through my family, while some of us (me, a few cousins) ended up white as hell (for me it's thanks to my snow-white scandinavian/germanic father) others, such as my sister, have my grandpa's complexion, his eyes, his hair. it's beautiful. it sounds privileged as hell to say this, because i understand i have white privilege to the max, but i am a lil jealous of my sister. she's just so beautiful in my eyes, and really represents the ancestry in my family. it's lovely to me.

anyway, congrats, u have way more info than u needed

[coridallasmultipass]

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[crenandos]

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[mrfoox]

I hate how my country bought into r*acebioligy and used it to oppress others, mainly our native people who already had been harassed and looked down upon through our history

Also hate how it's basically not discussed or taught in school

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

Hello i hope you are having a good day. I love your writing btw especially the top gun bob one shots I've read all three! 

I hope you dont mind i leave this here its not a request just a thought. I wonder what would happen if the Top Gun Maverick team was on a mission and was outnumbered when suddenly a unknown old jet a McDonnell Douglas F-4 Phantom II from the 1960’s shows up. It shoots down one allowing Phoenix and Bob to just focus on the other enemy plane shooting it down. Later on they pull a maneuver cutting in low between rooster and an enemy plane turning the F-4 Phantom on its side brushing the lake so the wing leaves a wall off water behind them blocking the enemy planes view so they don’t have time to register the mountain wall and it takes out that plane. But when the old plane takes some hits Fanboy helps them out.

 I don’t have every detail but basically this pilot helps even the odds and turns things around so the team didn’t suffer any losses.

Everyone gets back to the ship landing and the mystery plane lands last, everyone is watching and it turns out the (I’m making this person up) generals granddaughter (she’s in her early 20’s) whose applications he had pulled time and time again because she has health issues is the mystery pilot. She had gotten just a civilian pilots license and the old F-4 phantom she flew was her grandfathers one she often helped him work on. (That’s all I got) 

Sorry if I rambled 😅 it’s just always been my dream to be in the air force or a navy pilot just flying those jets and helping protect the country that so many others have died protecting. My grandpa was actually air force and a pilot but not a general. I have other family members in the military etc. So it was irritating when got this autoimmune disease and all applications denied because of it. On the bright side I found another passion in helping animals and am studying to be a veterinarian. 

Hi anon! 💖 First of all, thank you for reading my fics and I am so glad you like them! 🥰

Second of all, thank you for sharing this! I LOVED IT! I think it is both powerful and heartwarming. I'm so sorry you weren't able to follow your dream of being an air force or navy pilot, but I am so glad to hear you found another passion! And I think it is so cool that you took your old dream and family history and were able to turn it into something creative like this! It is so awesome! 💖

[uncanny-tranny]

i feel like, at least in my experience as a trans man, that cishets are actually pretty good about respecting your name and pronouns??

so im in school, and im out as male. not really out as *trans*, but out as male. the name i go by isnt the one in the system.

but, i've found that cishets are actually really good about my name and pronouns?? even when they know my deadname?? like i thought this one guy was transphobic or whatever but??? he isnt???

and for some reason i have it in my head that unless im violently masc, they arent gonna respect my name and pronouns because idk why, but it was just? drilled into my head that every cishet boy in highschool is against me? and i know that's the case for some people, but i dont see it talked about often enough about how cishets *can* be good about names and pronouns, and while they def can be terrible about them and such, they can still be good. i feel like we need to talk more about *both* sides, for people who've experienced *both*, so you dont have people like me who was ready to be so violently masc just because i thought that it was gonna be the only way for me to get my name and pronouns respected even tho ik im not obligated to but i still wanted that respect n stuff

sorry if this is too ramble-y and stuff or doesnt make sense but i just see what cis people expect of me to gain their respect and i still try to conform to it because otherwise im afraid of the dysphoria from disrespect

(also, i've noticed that it's mostly adults that knew me beforehand that dont respect my name and pronouns??? like, literally every other adult does it??? without question???)

I totally empathize with you! I think you're correct - there are many transphobic cis people, and that is a terrible thing - but from what I've experienced, there have been more trans-affirming cis people than I anticipated. I certainly over-compensated for my fear of transphobia by being overtly and overly masculine, and it really messed up my view of myself and how I see masculinity because of how forced it was. A cis friend of mine said that he sussed out that I'm trans because I jokingly referred to his as "his grandpa," and ever since then, he has never once misgendered me. It was really kind of him, looking back. I was very awkward about talking about being trans at that time, and him silently correcting himself felt like an act of compassion. Teachers have done their best to affirm me, too, and my school has been accommodating (I have access to a separate faculty restroom which I also use to avoid the lockerooms lol). I feel blessed, and I know how lucky I got. I was insanely lucky, because I live in a very religious and conservative town, and some of my family (which is religious and conservative) have shown that not every have religious person or conservative is accepting. I hope that acceptance like we've seen before becomes the norm for trans people. We deserve to feel safe. We shouldn't have to worry about being accepted. We shouldn't have to debate about if we should sacrifice our comfort or our safety. But we should also recognize when we are shown compassion and kindness and joy toward our transness by others (especially when they're cis). I certainly hope that more cis people become welcoming toward trans people, but for the cis people who already are, I am very happy for them.