#i dont really feel it in lack of concentration or anything but in headaches and lack of social anxiety

[curiouschaosstarlight]

I wish I could say something good happened to make me so chatty and hyperactive, but this is actually just option 2 of me being sleep deprived

[llimerrence]

mass hc post for louie because im in a mood

He's allergic to peanuts. Not severely, but enough to make his tongue 'feel fuzzy'. And Donald thinks he should carry medication in case it ever did get bad enough; but Louie doesn't.

Louie suffers from Clinical Depression & General Anxiety Disorder

His symptoms include: 

Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness

Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters

Loss of interest or pleasure in most normal activities

Insomnia

Has trouble falling asleep & staying asleep

Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort

Reduced appetite and weight loss, binge eating, stress eating

Feelings of worthlessness and guilt

Trouble concentrating

Trouble remembering things

False Memories (rare, but they freak him out)

Self harm and suicidal ideation 

Avoidance of social situations

Poor attendance at school

Has trouble controlling their worries or feelings of nervousness

Easily startled

Has unexplained headaches

Louie takes anti-depressants & anxiety medication. 

He’s still working with his doctor to get the right dosage

he tends to forget to take them. but he’s supposed to take them with his breakfast

Sometimes, for a few days, he won’t take them simply due to feeling ‘better’ only to fall back into depression (wow almost like,,, the medication is making him feel better)

Only Huey, Dewey, Valerie, Donald, and Scrooge know he is taking the medications. He doesn’t want to tell Webby or any of their other friends. 

Val has instilled certain set of morals into Louie when it comes to money, even if he doesn’t always follow them.

eat the rich

dont con ur family, that’s rude.

family comes first, even over money

don’t be ashamed for not having money; who you are as a person means more

don’t take money from ur family without asking. never ask for more than you need.

eat the rich.

Names Louie has had in his phone for Val:

Valerie

Val

Aunt Valerie 

Aunt Val

Mother

Mom

Care giver

CALL BACK RIGHT NOW

Momma mia (here we go again)

law maker

houseboat CEO

not my drug dealer.

maybe my drug dealer?

legal drug dealer

Captain  (he only answered phone with ‘ahoy mate’)

louie’s hoodie covers his arms because he has a lot of self harm scars, his body is constantly exhausted because of his depression, lack of sleep, and the fact that he tends to binge eat or only drink pep for days at a time. he also doesn’t take nearly as good care of his body as he should simply due to the energy it would take to do things like shower and such, so he just does bare minimum and yes he owns like 15 versions of the same hoodie, but he’ll wear the same outfit like 3 or 4 days in a row to save on energy. and he lays around and doesnt do anything for days at a time due to his depression and exhaustion and he purposefully makes people believe he’s lazy so they don’t know when hes actually having a bad day vs a good day because he doesnt want people to worry about him especially not his brothers and–

Hi, so, yeah Louie does self harm. I’ll never go into detail with it, like describing him doing it because that’s triggering for *me* to write. That said, I will write after care and talk about it if my partner is okay with it, or if it’s for a meta or a drabble. That said, if I ever mention it, and you want me to change it? of course. No biggie. 

That said, Louie does self harm on his right wrist and on both forearms. He doesn’t do it often, and it is usually far between when he does it. He always bandages himself up once he is feeling better, and always disinfects his wounds.

Louie is trying to get better, and while he does go to therapy once a month, he tries to cover up when he relapses and tends to only tell Donald or his brothers when he’s doing really badly. He wants to fix his issues on his own, even though he needs help to do so properly. 

Louie was hospitalized for a suicide attempt once. he was in-patient for a little over a week. Huey and Dewey were not allowed to visit him due to not being old enough. Only Donald was allowed to visit him. This was shortly before their time at the mansion.

He’s been hospitalized two times for self harm; both times he was out-patient for about three weeks. These were both during their time at the mansion.

[pink-enby-in-distress]

okayyyyyy,, welcome to Reese’s v long post (literally an essay sorry-) of confusion on finding out why body in pain so much a lot:)

Please note im not** diagnosing myself with anything. I just looked up stuff n im kinda just,, finding stuff to talk to my doctor about because I’m very confused n idk where to look specifically except google!! If you have any tips on managing pain and symptoms or resources please please pls reply or message me:)

(i apologize in advance for the lack of spaces and grammatical errors. im proofreading rn 1. myspace bar is broken. and 2. my arm is aching a fuck ton n it causes me more pain to type with it so im gonna be typing with one hand for a lot of parts)

1. fibromyalgia. the first thing that popped up for my symptoms. The hallmark symptom of fibromyalgia is significant muscle pain, stiffness, and tenderness all over your body. Headaches, numb hands and feet, and abdominal pain are other agonizing indications a person may have this affliction. i will bold my symptoms. Widespread pain, Fatigue, Weakness, Unrefreshing sleep, Muscle pain and cramps, Depression and other mood changes, Balance problems and frequent falls, Dysfunctional nervous system, Overactive immune system, Possibly, autoimmunity and inflammation, at least in some cases. Also, trouble focusing or paying attention, pain or a dull ache in the lower belly, dry eyes, memory lapses, difficulty concentrating, trouble staying alert. (Had a feeling this might be it but i dont wanna determine a serious health condition like that soooo...) There are a lot more symptoms though from what little i saw

2. vitamin d deficiency,, what i originally thought was the problem. at my age youre supposed to get around 600iu a day. if im good n i remember i take  like 5 or 7 a day. so 6-7000iu a day for at l e a s t 5 days if i remember. idrk if it works bc i often don't remember to take them daily . sometimes i'll have like 8-9000 for a couple days. idrk tho because they dont really do anything. Or sometimes they do but, not for long or it takes a while for them to work. btw!! vitamin d deficiency m i g h t lead to fibromyalgia?

3.Sciatica. reeled me in bc my left side hurts more than my right a lot of times. but,, my arms and upper back are affected too, so i dont think it’s the cause. Pain originates in the spine and radiates down the back of the leg. Sciatica typically affects only one side of the body. There are many causes for sciatic nerve pain, which can last up to 4 – 8 weeks if left untreated. Approximately 1 – 10% of the population experience sciatic pain or sciatica at some point in their life and are typically between the ages of 25 – 45 years old.

4. polymyositis, idk much about tbh, like what's different bout it and how it might fit me more than the others. idk if it fits me but,,i can talk to my doc about it. Those who suffer from polymyositis (PM) experience weakness in their shoulders, neck, and back, as well as their hips and thighs. The weakness may come on gradually over the course of several months, or may degenerate over a few days. Sometimes body aches and tenderness come with it, too. Although PM can cause a lot of discomfort, it is usually not life-threatening. For unknown reasons, polymyositis causes your body's immune system to attack muscle fibers. It comes on after age 20 typically

5. chronic fatigue syndrome. Along with extreme exhaustion, people with chronic fatigue syndrome often experience common symptoms like deep, persistent joint and muscle pain. Their skin might feel sore when touched, and pressure headaches can also result. Other symptoms include weakness, impaired memory or concentration, insomnia, muscle pain, and fatigue following exertion that lasts more than 24 hours. The causes of CFS are unknown, and there is no specific test to diagnose the condition. It is diagnosed through exclusion, that is, ruling out other illnesses with similar symptoms. n addition to prolonged fatigue, a person must have four or more of the following symptoms to be diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome: impairment in short-term memory or concentration, sore throat, (maybe to this but i cant fucking rememberrr)tender lymph nodes, muscle pain, joint pain without swelling or redness, headaches of a new type, pattern, or severity, unrefreshing sleep, post-exertional malaise. I’m really scared of thinking I’m getting some symptoms from this and it  actually being my adhd

6.Polymyalgia rheumatica,, v unlikely i feel like. specifically bc of the age but,, who knows. is an inflammatory disorder causing muscle pain and stiffness around the shoulders and hips. Most people develop polymyalgia rheumatica after age 50. Symptoms usually develop quickly and include aching of the shoulders, neck, or hips

7. Myofascial pain syndrome is a chronic pain disorder. came right after fibro popped up,, possible!! i looked the sensitive points chart tho anddd,, idrk if i have specific triggers. and it's more than just those sensitive points that i saw. In this condition, pressure on sensitive points in your muscles (trigger points) causes pain in the muscle and sometimes in seemingly unrelated parts of your body. This is called referred pain

I saw a hormonal thyroid disease, don’t think that’s it tho. It might be!! But it had visible signs that i dont have. Also saw growing pains which i didnt have, and they’re supposed to stop around 12 anyways. I’m 15

[purrdymonster06]

I have ADHD no it's not an excuse to zone out it’s not when you are hyper and use it as a reason . It is not fake, It is a mental illness>Attention-deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. You know what attention means when you  actively seek it by being sooo ADHD,when really you're just bored.Deficit the amount by which something is too small. First two words mean having  too little attention span. Hyperactive abnormally or extremely active or “hyper”. Disorder meaning there is something wrong with me.. “Stop lying you don’t have ADHD it does not exist your just dumb” oh excuse me lets see the  Symptoms of ADHD 

Difficulty paying attention. CHECK  

Being self focused. People with this disorder have trouble seeing outside of their world; they often interrupt a conversation even when they are not involved. CHECK

Fidgeting/hyperactivity i don't think i need to explain but another CHECK

Ignoring danger.When they get hurt they dont always learn from it.or we don't realize the consequence to our action, CHECK   

Lack of impulse control, think before you act in fancy words CHECK 

Not reaching potential, Becoming easily bored and not finishing a project. Guess what … CHECK 

Those are the most obvious symptoms and they all sound very familiar, 

By now if you’re reading this attentively( that was a big word) I can't keep a writing style it keeps changing. The only reason being I can't keep up with one style.

Some would say “but there is medication for that” yes but what are the side effects of these medication, 

Side effects to a common ADHD medication

Nervousness 

Trouble sleeping

Loss of appetite,

Nausea ,Vomiting 

Headaches 

This is not an official side effect but i call it Zombie mode, i was medicated from 1st grade to the middle of 8th grade. During zombie mode Im not Hungry, i don't have a personality im sluggish, tired. Sure I can concentrate and do my work but at what cost. I admit for the first couple of years i really did need the meds but i was close to miserable,i was unable to function. Do you know what kind of funny in an ironic way (did i use that word right) anyway most ADHD medications are A speed to a normal person but it slows us down,

Not so fun fact ADHD brains are serotonin  deficient, (serotonin  the brain chemical that makes you happy) so when we complete a small task such as cleaning your room or doing household chores we don’t really feel anything but a “normal brain” become satisfied that they did sometimes i believe it's one of the reason we often become overwhelmed by small tasks. I know that was a big speech but people need to stop saying that my mental disorder is fake because it makes us feel bad about ourselves. I know this was all over the place blame my poor organisation skills

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Hey, can you please write something for Icy/Ogron? I dont know where that comes from...I just though of it and idk really liked it. Maybe their first kiss?

Sorry for the wait lol. Warning for drug abuse mentions. 

Also sorry for the formatting issues; idk why some letters are bolded lol.

The lights cut out and the final echos of a wailing guitar lose themselves in a fair sized crowd. They are lost further beneath a round of cheers and claps. It is an exhilarating energy. Yet Icy can’t say that she shares it. In fact she is the first to leave the stage. She takes her guitar and heads off. She is certain that Darcy and Stormy aren’t particularly pleased with this new habit of hers. 

It is better than her old habit.

Perhaps if they knew then they would understand. But she has kept things under wraps.

She probably shouldn’t have come along on the tour at all, she can hardly last a full setlist, by the end of it she is physically shaky and exhausted.  

She leans her guitar against the wall and runs a hand through her hair. God, her head hurt. She can hear Darcy making their closing statements and Stormy promising an acapella encore. The third one of the tour.

The crowds are probably getting aggravated with her for leaving the stage so early. She wonders if she should even be in the band anymore. 

Icy rummages through her purse and picks out a stick of peppermint. It does a decent job of stimulating the feeling of a cigarette between her lips, but it lacks the kick she craves. That her body craves. 

The withdrawal symptoms are tapering off, but not enough to alleviate the longing. She tries to focus in on the taste of peppermint. It is strong and potent and somehow soothing. She leans back in her chair and stares at the ceiling. 

“Hey.” 

Icy’s head snaps in the direction of the voice. 

“Sorry.” Ogron mutters. 

“I thought that you went back to your tour bus.”

“I left my wallet here somewhere, I think.”  

“And here I thought I’d get to keep it.” She reaches into her pocket and holds it up. 

“How’d your show go?” He asks as he takes the wallet. 

“Not as well as yours. Perhaps your band ought to headline instead.” 

He pulls out a chair. “Eh…” He shrugs. “Wizards Of The Black Circle isn’t as well known as The Trix.” 

“True.” She mutters her agreement. “Our band is the greatest band in the magical dimension.” But she wouldn’t mind passing the headline act to the Wizards if it means a break from the headache inducing flashing lights. “You haven’t heard, have you?”

“Heard what?” Ogron inquires.

“That the quality of our shows have been declining and that it’s my fault.” She shrugs.

“No, I haven’t heard anything of the sort. I feel like your shoes have been excellent.” He replies.

Icy gives an indignant sniff. “They have been subpar.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I have a tendency to leave stage early. It’s hard to have an encore with no guitar.”

“Why don’t you go back on then?”

“I probably shouldn’t be performing in the first place.” Icy shrugs. “That’s what my doctor says. My addiction therapist says that I should leave the rock scene entirely.” She takes a small bite if the peppermint stick. “Too many drugs here or something like that.” She is well aware that Ogron reeks of tobacco. Whether it is from his own cigarettes or the perfume of his tour bus, she can’t say.

“How long you been clean for?”

She twirls the peppermint stick between her fingers, “about a month and a half.”

“Oh so pretty recent then…” He trails off. “Gotta give you props for going on stage at all. Been a little over a year for me.” He nods. “Gantlos doesn’t make staying that way easy. I know he means well when offering me a light, but I’m worried that one of these days I’ll say yes.”

Icy nods. She supposes that Stormy’s offers have the same effect. It helps even less when Lucy and her crew blow smoke in her face and ask when she’d become such a buzzkill. “Sex drugs and rock n roll.” Lucy quoted. “You used to be fun. You used to be the most badass rocker in the industry.” Icy is almost certain that this is what her therapist meant by the rock scene being detrimental to her progress.

And perhaps Lucy’s commentary was justified after years of Icy mocking her for being new to the industry. Not that that had stopped Icy from snapping at her. She snaps at Darcy when the woman suggests that she tries to last a full show.

She goes off on most everyone for the simplest things. Her hair stylist had quit some days back.

“It gets easier the longer you’re clean.”

It sounds about right, but at the moment Icy isn’t so certain, “sure, if you say so.” She rolls her eyes.

“It does.” He insists and she decides that he is probably right. She has gone through the worst of it; the sleepless nights of sweating and inexplicable anxiety. The nausea and the unbearable headaches.

Her concentration still wavers and sleep is still hard to come by, especially when the headaches persist; even if they aren’t so intense as they were the first few days. She is irritable and edgy on most days but at least the sickly feeling has gone. At least she can take care of herself again.

“Lucy is a pain in the ass.” She grumbles.

“The front woman of Draconian Era?”

Icy nods.

“I’m sure she won’t be as unbearable when her voice is hoarse while yours is still strong.”

“I don’t do vocals.” Icy mutters, “that’s Darcy’s job.”

“Still.” Ogron shrugs. “I feel like it’s some kind of display of strength and power to resist the cravings.”

Icy almost laughs. So the man knew what to say to get her to see his point. “I do like power…”

She isn’t sure why she hasn’t talked to him more before tonight.

“I’ve heard.” He chuckles. “Weren’t you trying to take over the world before this?”

Icy nods.

“So how do three witches go from conquerors to rockstars?”

“The same way that evil fairy hunters do, I imagine. Honestly having a large fandom is close enough to having subjects.” Icy finishes her peppermint stick. “They do what I tell them to; I say sing along, they do. I say clap, they clap. I’ve gotten my fans to buy my drinks and carry my guitar. That’s close enough to taking over the world for me.”

“Brilliant.” Ogron laughs, “I wish I thought of that.”

She catches him looking at his watch. She can feel the headache coming on anyhow and realizes that she is well overdue for a cup of tea. That usually helps with the pounding.

“Hey, well, we can chat more before the show tomorrow” he offers, “maybe go out for drinks…or lunch.”

“Sure.” Icy says.

He leans over and kisses her forehead. “Night.” He gives her a small salute and begins walking away.

She lets him walk a few paces before deciding that she doesn’t want to spend another night alone–not that she hasn’t requested such and left Darcy and Stormy in a separate hotel room. “Come to the tour bus with me?” She requests.

Ogron pauses. “I guess I can use a break from cigarette smoke and Duman’s sexcapades. "Let me just tell the guys.”

“Works for me.” Icy replies. “Going to the hotel separate will probably spare us some headlines anyhow.”

[transrightsjimin]

lol i finished the introduction to my policy proposal, got to the part where i realized i had to include theory abd thus have to concentrate on reading articles, got a headache amd panicked, went to my friend's room, bothered him ab t it, somehow ended up stressing out abt life after university, had an existential crisis abt not knowing what my capabilities are besides drawing (which i also rarely do nowadays) and i dont want to lie about being capable bc i hate lying unless it is to protect someone, i just cant lie anymore since i stopped living w my parents and i especially dont want to lie abt things i cant do, but apparently you need to in order to make it in life but i just consistently make so many mistakes bc of autism nd adhd (clumsiness / bad concentration / forgetful, like i dont even remember most of c my colleagues' names / lack of insight / being slow / taking very very long to learn practical things / issues with processing sensory input timely / panicking when not given clear instructions / fatigue from social interaction) and they just wont get better and i dont want to lie abt it bc i a. dont want to be a dishonest person, b. i am not that confident to pretend im someone skilled, which im not and c. i will never get better at these things bc illl have these issues for life. and i really dont know what profession ill end up doing in the future bc i dont have much knowledge in any arts discipline or field or whatever, and especially contemporary art and entrepreneurial stuff is big in the arts where i live and i just dont know shit abt that aside from general trends / conventions and it doesnt interest me anyway. i dont know any arts field tht rly interest me that much and the most interestung stuff is prob what depends on mainly volunteers. idk man. i just feel depressed and keep crying bc ill either end up with a parttine job and financial struggles, a typical working class job like my current mail delivery one bc thats at least something i know im somewhat capable of, or ill end uo on welfare but idk bc the last time i applied for welfare as an adult they sent me in this course for people to learn how to make resumes and job motivations, which i know how to do, but i cant do the shit that comes after that. i just dont know what i can do bc ive never been able to do anything well except drawing but i cant make it as an illustrator bc that takes a lot of entrepreneurship which i just dont have nor want to have. i just want to be able to live. im also worried bc of the fusion between PostNL and SANDD bc we still have no idea whats going to happen but colleagues are very sure that people will be fired / wont have their contracts prolonged and since im now at the age for adult wage and work only 4 hours a week in my contract, i dont know how much they would want to keep me as a worker for them. i rly worry that ill lose this small job bc it still creates a small additional income of 175-300 euros per month (depending on the amount of extra hours) and i rly need that income bc the loan i'm taking for studying is almost the maximum of what is allowed (my loan is 920 euros) and i will by the end of 2019 / early 2020 not have the right to free usage of public transport in midweeks anymore. though i can get discounts for students itll still get so expensive? or maybe i should cycle to school, which is another possibility but idk. everything is just so expensive and im overwhelmed and just keep sobbing since an hour agi and i feel bad for bothering my friend w my sudden existential crisis

[the-bubblegum-girl]

Explaining an Eating Disorder

It’s being woken up at 4 am because your stomach is growling and it hurts.

It’s midnight binges because you have only eaten 300 calories that day.

It’s not eating past 7 o clock because you want to give your body time to get digest all of the food you ate that day so you dont gain.

It’s binge eating because the cravings have gotten too much for you and you can’t take it anymore.

It’s hating yourself after eating absolutely anything.

It’s an overwhelming fear of gaining weight if you eat something, even though you know that eating a single item wont make you gain.

It’s weighing yourself multiple times a day in fear that you’ve gained.

It’s feeling faint a lot because you haven’t eaten properly in months.

It’s muscles that ache because you wont stop working out because you have to burn as many calories as you possibly can.

It’s constantly comparing yourself to others because no matter what, you have to be the one who eats the least.

It’s mental breakdowns and restless nights, when you can’t stop thinking. You can’t concentrate on anything but your weight.

It’s cutting off people because they’re going to get in the way of your goals.

It’s fear of leaving the house because when people look at you, you’re worried they’re staring at your fat.

It’s counting calories and having limits, and when you go over the limit, you think you’re not good enough.

It’s restricting food and fasting in your desperate attempt to be thin.

It’s ‘that cheeseburger looks so good right now, but I know it’s high calorie’ and ‘I really, really want to eat that’ and sometimes giving into the temptation.

It’s good days when you think it’s all going to be ok, and you have it under control.

It’s bad days when you’re in tears and pinching at your fat, staring into the kitchen, but never going in.

It’s telling everyone you have it under control even though you know you don’t. It controls you, but you may never admit that out loud.

It’s convincing yourself you’ll stop at your goal weight, but you know at this rate, stopping seems impossible.

It’s not wanting to stop because it’s the only thing you have, you feel you have control over it and you’re in way too deep to stop now.

It’s still feeling hungry after eating because you really haven’t eaten that much, yet you’re convinced you’ve eaten too much.

It’s hating the feeling of being full because it means you lost control.

It’s liking the feeling of being hungry cause you imagine the growls of your stomach to be your fat screaming.

It’s going for the salads and vegetables because they have less calories and fat.

It’s googling the calories in everything.

It’s searching for thinspo and motivation because you feel you need it.

It’s wanting to breakdown to your friends and to tell your family, but you never do.

It’s believing you’re too fat to have an eating disorder.

It’s hunger headaches and ‘just feeling tired’ because yes, you do feel tired, but it’s because you haven’t eaten enough that day.

It’s planning for when you’re skinnier and buying clothes in a smaller size because you’re using it as thinspo and you’ll get there one day.

It’s brittle hair from lack of nutrients and fingernails that are discolouring.

Its layers of concealer to hide the bags under your eyes.

It’s stress in social situations when food is involved.

It’s wanting to talk about it with someone so much, yet being so terrified to.

It’s planning and cutting up and dividing food, eating half of what’s in front of you.

It’s throwing up your food if you feel like you’ve eaten too much, then feeling guilty after you do it.

It’s feeling like you’re cured of Ana because Mia came along, but then realising the hard truth when you can’t get normal eating habits back.

It’s freaking out, just thinking about eating around 2000 calories, and you’ve been this way for so long that you feel you’ll never get it back.

It’s pinching, punching and pulling at your fat, desperately trying to get it off.

It’s never being satisfied with the number on your scale.

It’s never feeling good enough, no matter what you do.

It’s still eating, because it’s not starving yourself all the time, it’s the voices in your head calling you fat, telling you you’re not good enough, and if you eat that, you’ll gain weight.

It’s hiding and throwing out food so you don’t have to eat.

It’s knowing your organs are slowly shutting down and accepting that.

It’s wanting to kill yourself if you gain weight.

It’s really wanting it to stop but it never does.

(If you have any suggestions for anything that should be here, tell me. 😊 Also, sorry for any mistakes or repeated lines.)