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#i dunno. these days night has felt so burdensome and limiting. so much pressure and so little rest
pl4n
·
4 months
Text
clouds
#my art
#some bg elements... who am i
#once again posting bc i am filled w thoughts and feelings
#i feel so nostalgic...
#its a warm night and im lying in the dark
#the light of my computer glowing blue in the corner
#listening to music from my childhood
#i was staring at the ceiling.. and i really felt the presense of night and remembered how endless it used to feel
#made me wonder
#when was the last time i could go to bed without worrying abt the things i should do the next day
#i dunno. these days night has felt so burdensome and limiting. so much pressure and so little rest
#i remember looking out the window at night and seeing the sky tinted pink with light pollution
#honestly i always thought it was beautiful. the whole night was dawn.. and there was so much time to enjoy it
#and i would explore all my little thoughts and ideas and worries and fears and wishes
#and somehow id fall asleep
#idk what i even think about these days
#i just stress about the small stupid things and how i need to sleep and how desperate i am to distract myself from that anxiety
#so ofc i cant sleep lol
#ahh i miss hearing the sound of the train in the middle of the night
#i need to work on letting my thoughts flow freely again.. instead of all these controlled thoughts about what i should do and how and when
#i can just feel my little brain shrinking from the lack of breath
#i miss thinking and reflecting and dreaming and imagining and all that shit
#what am i doinggg man
#how did i let my head get this clogged up
#fuckkkk ok well anyways im glad im having this time in my feels lmfaoo
#ahhh i miss going to the beach at night and lying in the sand and seeing the darkness stretched out endlessly and the city lights in the
#distance and just talking about anything thru the night without a single worry about sleeping early to go to work or whatever
#ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
#i miss wasting time pointlessly and enjoying it without being so painfully aware of the time going by
#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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