#i feel like a complete failure

[24062]

failing at life </3

[notachair]

thinking about how Sypha described Alucard like a "cold spot in a room" in S2, and Alucard showing up at the end of Nocturne S1 looking all desaturated, though yes ethereal, but also in a sense cold and ghostly, all buttoned up at the front. Sypha saying his sadness being like an icy well. And here he'd been so soft and happy by the S4 finale 😭 I'm nervous- but excited. And I fear the new groupie got some walls to tear down

[ofswordsandpens]

I'm sincerely very happy for anyone who is enjoying the show but every time I see takes that the show has improved the book characterizations or that the book characters are underdeveloped in comparison to the show...

[disgruntled-lifeform]

Anyone else get reeeaaaallllly close to finishing an embroidery project and just...can't complete it?

Like, once I do these last bits, then that's it and there is some strange fear attached to it?

No? Just me?

[milkbreadtoast]

(random) ngl before i started learning korean i felt like the worst failure of a korean but now i feel like the best failure of a korean (/j) HAHA

like im struggling to speak but least im speaking..!! I feel like I've restored an essential piece of myself that was missing...

[angelic-waffles]

Someone on twt was talking about Fnafhs and I was like “Holy shit! I watched that!”

Well sorta, I watched it but I didn’t understand Spanish when I watched it. So, I just kinda watched it and didn’t know what was happening

[rainymoodlet]

[goldkirk]

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!

[l3ominor]

I think I've cried every day this week.

Something about being home I guess

[zhongrin]

Hello Miss Rin!!! Came back for another tea party because life's absolutely been kicking my ass lately and I've been taking the hits. (Such as crying) Anyway. How would you think wrio, Haithie and Li would respond to a S/o who's getting their ass kicked left right and centre for a pretty long time now and aren't sure what to do in life cause everything seems pretty clouded and whatever they'd planned years back , nothing has come to fruition? A depressive ask but you know I'm the king of angst <3 sending you lots of love!

hiii aether! pouring you tea and patting your head. take care of yourself okay? i'm sure you're doing great, you just need to take breaks and be kinder to yourself ᰔᩚ

i feel like they all would be super supportive in their own ways!!

zhongli's always there to listen and offer advices (and he's good at giving comforting words and advices after living for so long!) over some light, relaxing tea. and al haitham strikes me as the type who can provide you a very rational and logical input to any issues you have ー he might be a little blunt, but you'll notice he does try to word his sentences gentler when he picks up on your obvious distress! as for wriothesley, he's also smart in his own way so i can see him trying to work it out with you by brainstorming possible solutions together, but if you need him to just hold you close, he's a big cuddly bear!!

lastly, my own advice would be to say that ー no one knows 100% what they want and where they'll end up in life. there are too many factors that could mess up even the most meticulously planned plan. just accept that sometimes, things work out, and other times, things don't! and that's okay!! life isn't an exam where you can fail and that's it, you're doomed for life, nor it is a path laid out in front of you to follow ー that's not how life works. and even if that one door closes, you just have to find other open doors. there's always more to life and its meanings than that just one single success or breakthrough you're hoping for.

[evankinard]

gonna be honest there's actually been so many times when I feel like giving in to my instincts and stomping my foot and crying about how I don't want to do my work and the ghost of christopher diaz appears to me going "I complained once but it didn't work [so I] just kept on swimming" and suddenly I'm like fuck i guess you're right

[tehnakki]

I would just like to confidently state after watching Third Body Problem that--as someone who has had a floater in their left eye for a year that is large enough to block words while reading--that everyone who ended their work or killed themselves because of the countdown in their vision were weak.

[redysetdare]

I don't know who needs to hear this but... You don't need to finish that WIP. not everything you create has to be a Work In Progress. you can just sketch something or write out a draft and then never go any farther than that. you don't have to finish everything you create. not everything is meant to be finished.

also, starting a new WIP when you have another isn't bad. it doesn't stop you from going back to the old one. sometimes you get excited for an idea, sometimes you just need to get that idea down. Do it. start another WIP. nothing is stopping you from going back to the old one later.

the only one putting these barriers up is yourself. Stop holding yourself back. You'll find yourself a lot happier if you stop forcing yourself to follow these invisible rules on what you can and should be focusing on finishing.

[weird-life-of-a-closet-fangirl]

I love that even after fabian's crushing defeat at the hands of captain whitclaw, bill seacaster sees his son and immediately, with no shame, no disgust, no anger, goes "MY DARLING BOY", like its honestly so sweet, say what you want about bill seacaster you can never say he doesnt love his son

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

the higher-ups (and Yaga) immediately trying to leverage Gojo & Ieri's absence to put Yuuta on the roster??? God that's such a stark moment. Thank god Nanami and Gojo saw through that one immediately, because Yuuta wants to justify his own survival so badly he would've fallen straight into it.

That whole scene, with Yuuta immediately jumping on the opportunity to help people even though something is Extremely Wrong with him and he's on the brink of physical collapse--this boy is selfless to the point of self destruction and I am chewing the drywall about it. I love him so much.

If only he was able to summon his newly found homicidal rage in defense of himself, the higher-ups would no longer be a problem. Alas, this boy is Extremely Unwell.

(Sea Glass Gardens is absolutely incredible and i am obsessed with it in a way that is totally and 100% normal. I'm so normal about it, trust me <3 )

The thing about Yuuta is that he really is prime to be taken advantage of right now and the higher ups know it. They had him try to kill himself for them--they know that there's a window of opportunity that they can use to get him under their thumb and avoid The Problem of Gojo, which is, namely, having a human weapon who you cannot fully control. Gojo nailed it from the beginning: they want a magic gatling gun with no personality or free will. They learned their lesson with Gojo and are trying to rob Yuuta of his agency before he learns how to protect himself.

And Yaga's part in that scene really was meant to kind of emphasize how, even with the best intention's, he just doesn't work to protect the kids. Like. everything he said was technically true, and he meant it with the best of intentions. He's the guy who has to think of everyone's needs. he has to manage this crisis. he's got a lot of people hurt badly who just came out of a war, and a lot of people going into fights with some very aggravated curses spawning without sufficient manpower to address the danger and no healer to save them if they cut it a little too close. He didn't have the intention of manipulating or sacrificing Yuuta, but he was aware that it would come to his detriment and risk.

The issue is the higher ups. They don't give a shit about the people in their workforce. They should be the ones doing whatever it takes to solve this crisis and save their people--and if that means giving up on their machinations? They should have already done it. It's their responsibility.

They just don't care. They want Okkotsu Yuuta under their thumb, and their society hemorrhaging is treated like an opportunity, not a dire problem to be solved. They don't care if half a dozen of their own people need to die to do it. Hell, it's better if they do die--they can put it straight on Okkotsu for not being willing to sacrifice himself, when they should have been making whatever promises they had to in order to make this work.

Gojo's done this before, is the thing. He was Yuuta, a long time ago. Nanami was right there watching it happen. They both know what the higher ups do: They let society get to a crisis level and put all the responsibility on you to save it. they let you maneuver yourself into a vulnerable position as a result, and then they use it as leverage to put their goddamn boot on your neck.

The thing is that Gojo adopting megumi all those years ago really did put them into a crisis state. the zenin pitched the mother of all bitch fits trying to secure his unconditional return, and they were a huge percentage of jujutsu society's labor force and resource pools. instead of the higher ups managing the problem at all, they took advantage of the situation and shoved more and more of its weight and responsibility onto gojo, until he was dropping off his own kid at his abusers' compound thinking it was the only compromise that could resolve things. megumi paid the price for gojo not calling bullshit, and right now, with him in a hospital bed? gojo's less willing to repeat mistakes than ever.

he knows that they're going to use the safety and suffering of everyone else as the leverage against him, and he knows that as terrible as it is, he cannot blink first. He's played this game before, and he knows that the only way to get the higher ups to back off on something like this is to dig in your heels.

I think what happened to Megumi all those years ago and how bad it got before they put a stop to it is something that haunts all three of them. When they first started raising him, they were very young, and they were very broken, and they loved him very, very much. He was their little boy, and he was never the same after the Zenin. They were supposed to protect him, and they didn't, and not a single one of them has forgiven themselves for that.

Megumi was sort of sacrificed for the greater good when he was a kid. None of them thought that that was what they were doing when it happened, but that's what happened. His happiness, safety, and wellbeing were sacrificed to pacify the Zenin and make it easier on everyone else.

Megumi and Tsumiki had to become their non-negotiables after. They had to become the things they refused to compromise on. The Zenin would take miles and miles if you gave them a millimeter, let alone an inch.

Gojo didn't think he was compromising them when he left them on their own to deal with Geto's war. They were disgustingly self-sufficient kids. They had been alone for longer stretches of time when they were practically toddlers--they should have been fine on their own for a couple of weeks.

But they were still his kids, and he still left them alone for everyone else's sake, and now his kid is blind and half dead in a hospital bed. It's like being punched in the face by old mistakes.

So they're off the roster completely, all of them. And they're not compromising an inch on what their focus is, and they're not letting anything happen to any of the other kids in their care.

It's terrible that their coworkers are suffering, but it wouldn't be happening if the Zenin hadn't fucked with Gojo Satoru's kid, of all the goddamn people. It wouldn't be happening if the higher ups would actually do their job and start managing shit.

And if they use Yuuta as an anxiety riddled bandaid on the bullet hole in their society? Then they'd be sacrificing him the way they sacrificed Megumi all those years ago. And they have never been less willing to do that.

I'm so so glad you like the story! Thank you for talking with me!

[mariacallous]

question I already know the answer to

asking Him to be plus one at a wedding later this year is a bad idea, yes/yes?