#i feel like i'm fighting the fucking kraken

[one-winged-dreams]

FUCKING TRAZODONE SCRIPT GET, I am PHYSICALLY SICK AND DELIRIOUS FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION, let's see if this shit works

[girlbossblackbeard]

S2 TRAILER ANALYSIS WITH 1 BILLION SCREENSHOTS

obligatory warning that this post is gonna be SOOOOOOOOOOOOO foolishly long and rambling with all my silly little theories and thoughts and if you ALSO have silly little theories and thoughts you should ABSOLUTELY share them here please!!!! we can clown so much harder when our cacophonous honking harmonizes!!!!!!!

NOW ONTO THE POST (putting it under a read more so tumblr doesn't literally explode):

-the revenge looks BUSTED AF: i don't know if this is from general disrepair when ed is in his kraken era or if she was in a battle but her sails are all dirty in the opening shot of the trailer, and later we see stede on her deck with tattered sails and ropes everywhere, AND i'm like 99% sure that the shot of buttons ziplining from one ship to another is him going from the Chinese warfleet ship to the revenge, which i'm guessing is essentially stuck bc the sails are so torn they would never be able to catch the wind strongly enough to move her. I also wonder if the shot of roach shooting a canon at something is him shooting a canon at her since we had all those allusions to her exploding from samba, vico, and david on twitter all those months ago

-stede's earring: he DOES NOT HAVE THE EARRING when we see him lying on the deck next to roach and sighing dramatically nor does he have it during his conversation with Olu about stede dumping him, but he DOES have the earring in later shots like the beach english fight and when he's talking about being a failure his whole life which means WE WILL GET TO SEE STEDE GET HIS EAR PIERCED!!!!!!!!!! we'll get to see him make the decision to look even hotter and who knows who does the piercing for him idk!!!!!! @sluterastede had a dastardly beautiful thought in her brain about ed giving stede the piercing and stede making groaning noises and izzy once again thinking they're flapping their jacks right there on the deck in front of god and everybody!!!!!

-stede is spilling his heart out ("i let him down. i should've just told him how i feel") to susan on her ship (you can tell it's her by the long hair)

-interesting that there's a drawing of a donkey next to ed's wanted poster considering s1 had the line "a rich donkey is still a donkey". also i can't really read what the surrounding posters say other than "WANTED 20 GUINEAS". is this in the republic of pirates?

-stede says "i will find him" meaning ed may be actively avoiding stede at the beginning of the season???? (or the basic laws of travel physics have finally caught up to them)

-"look, captain, you know blackbeard's gonna murder you" i just think it's interesting that Olu is referring to him as blackbeard again even though ed told everyone in his pink robe era to call him ed. like it makes sense that he'd say blackbeard considering ed is on a rampage but it just made my brain wheels start spinning

-the Kraken crew are eating cake :)

-ed is holding a torch while letting the storm rain down on him: i don't think the laugh we hear is his because i don't think his mouth is even open during that slow-mo shot

-STEDE with a TEAR in his EYE as he says "i think i hurt him pretty bad"

-ed sobbing on the floor while the little bride cake topper is next to his head

-ed choking on the weed smoke i'm ACTUALLY crying, but also: where the fuck is ed when he's sitting in the chair smoking??? i thought it was on deck at first bc above his head is really dark and it looks like the lanterns we see on the deck of the revenge but there's a chandelier too?? it might be whatever shop Anne Bonny and her friend "you two know each other?" run bc behind ed in that chair is just a bunch of random furniture and a chandelier like we see when ed and stede are at the market. in fact, i think ed is smoking with Anne Bonny because I think that's her hand in the corner of that shot:

-"no more booze, no more drugs, and no more _____" not sure what the end of that sentence could be but we know that the "stede" that was put in there is NOT what he actually says!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-"you two know each other?" now hold on a sec because it kinda sounds like stede met Anne Bonny and Co. separately from Ed/before that market scene (maybe in the teaser clip of Anne on Stede's lap??) WHAT IF WE GET THE AITA SCENARIO WHERE ED AND STEDE TELL PEOPLE ABOUT THEIR VERSION OF EVENTS AND NO ONE REALIZES THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT EACH OTHER UNTIL THAT MOMENT BC THEY'RE BOTH SO BIASED ABOUT ONE ANOTHER

-the evil guy definitely got his nose sliced off by Jackie. good for her :D I also don't think the evil guy is Hornigold, i'm still holding onto my theory that the man in the white rags we saw in the teaser and this trailer is hornigold's "ghost" that ed needs to contend with to find his inner peace or whatever a la stede with nigel's "ghost". but i DO think the evil guy is the rich prince dude from that leaked audition tape from rhys's friend. if memory serves, the guy wants to buy his way into the pirate lifestyle but he's pompous and entitled which makes him reckless. based off the production stills we also got today, he still had a nose when he went into Spanish Jackie's...but i don't think he leaves with one. so because he gets butthurt over invading a space that was NOT meant for him and faces the consequences of purposely disobeying their customs, he defects to the english navy and goes on a rampage against all piracy, very MRA energy :/ also, later izzy says to him "you don't know the first thing about piracy" which would further support that this guy just tried to buy his way in

-izzy gets an honest-to-god pegleg but he doesn't start the season off with it because we see him in several shots with both legs, like the wedding raid and swordfighting stede on the beach. unsure if he loses it due to infection from the toe situation or if he gets shot in the knee like i've seen some posts talk about, but @sluterastede mentioned that one of the leaked audition tapes for archie included dialogue about an amputation so maybe that character has to uh. Get Her Roach On

-as i mentioned before with the teaser analysis, izzy is clearly training stede for something and now im guessing it's the english but like we kinda knew that !

-olu is in a bar fight??

-THE "ED GETS CAUGHT IN A BUCKET ON A ROPE DURING THE STORM AND GOES OVERBOARD" THEORY IS OUT. THE "ED TIES HIMSELF TO A MF BIG ASS ROCK AND JUMPS OFF A GOD DAMN CLIFF TO GO ON SOME SOUL-SEARCHING JOURNEY UNDER THE SEA" THEORY IS IN. and what the FUCK is the rag man doing with ed up on that cliff hello?????? if my theory is correct and that is in fact hornigold's ghost or whatever, what advice or harmful shit is he saying that makes ed do that?????????????????????? but do note the large rock with the rope around it in the first pic

-the revenge crew is blowing up SOMETHING on the side of a building. maybe to cause a distraction or gain access inside the building? is it the side of Spanish Jackie's?? also hiiiiiiii lucius <3

-"our entire escape relies on this" i'm just assuming they're trying to escape from the english bc that seems to be the Big Bad of the season??

-not plot related but during the rope swinging training session izzy slaps stede on the ass and makes this face (sir??????):

>he also has his pegleg here so their mentorship may ramp up after izzy is out of commission for hand-to-hand combat. maybe izzy was supposed to have a larger fighting role alongside ed in defeating the english but once he became incapacitated he realized he would need to train someone else up for the job so ed would be sufficiently protected. but it also had to be someone izzy knew would be willing to die for ed to save his life if it came to that, just like izzy would

-"i've been a failure my whole life. it's not so bad once you get used to it" is stede talking to ed here? is that ed's hair in the corner of the frame??

>side note: as mentioned above, stede also has his earring by this point!!

-"you're going through that 'if i was a regular dude' phase" first of all, SPANISH JACKIE AND EDWARD TEACH BEST FRIENDS TRUTHERS RISE UP. second, why would ed be considered a regular dude now?? how did he lose his reputation? did he willingly give it up or was it taken from him? is this permanent or just temporary? or did he fake his own death with the cliff and the rock thing so he could retire and live a more normal life?? the swede doesn't seem scared of him at all in the final clip from the trailer, straight up asking him if he's poor and going "back to basics". of course, that could just be a power trip from being one of Jackie's newest husbands (or at least her waitstaff)

-possibly totally minor/just a continuity error thing, but: ed has a red ring. we saw it in s1 as he picks up the rather fine cashmere and we see it as ed dramatically drapes himself across the ship's helm with his head on his hand. we do not see it in the scene where he's smoking (see above) or the scene where he's talking to the rabbit. now, if you'll allow me a little bit of clownery for a moment, red has been explicitly coded in this show to be a symbol of love/the heart, especially as it pertains to edward like his red silk scarf as a metaphor for his heart in s1. what if. what if he. gave the red ring (his heart) to. SomeOne. because.....................because his heart belongs to st--[GUNSHOTS]

-olu, jim, and archie with garlic around their necks and making a cross with their fingers - clearly they think someone is a vampire on the ship. @sluterastede proposed it could be izzy, especially if he's on the brink of death due to an infection and frenchie managed to spread his superstitions to other people on the ship!

-THIS FUCKIN GUY. WHO ARE YOU??? it seems like he kidnaps stede and his crew and throws a party on the ship and drugs the drinks which is why everyone is kinda tripping/laughing in some parts. but then everyone gets tied down (stede to the mast, wee john's hands get squished, olu and roach's heads get squished, and jim and archie's feet get secured to the ship's railing i think??). also that wide shot is definitely the rando dude hitting some shrill high note at the same moment the revenge crew cry out in pain from all the squishing (except maybe jim and archie - they might just be laughing at the others bc they're badasses and this pain is nothing). also don't know what the guy is looking at when we first see him but im thinking maybe it's a wanted poster of stede and he's looking at the description of the gentleman pirate to confirm it's the dude right in front of him/that he's captured?? also i think roach is wearing flowers from the drug party in his apron when he fires that canon, so maybe he's tripping too and shoots a canon?? i need a prayer circle for the revenge's safety at this time

-stede has a bullet hole???????????????? did ed fucking shoot him in the heart?????????????????????????? he also notably does NOT have the earring in this scene but he does have the sexy stiddies (blue) shirt like we see in the other shot where he DOES have the earring. maybe this weirdo dude pierces stede's ear bc he thinks stede needs to look more piratey?? or stede gets absolutely sloshed (or drugged) and gets his ear pierced idk !!! maybe jim does it bc they're effortlessly cool and has a bunch of ear piercings!!!

-idk if this is a coincidence or not but i'm pretty sure stede in his training scenes with izzy is wearing the clothes he wore in that final shot of s1 as he rows to find the crew on the island (white linen shirt, dark pants, brown belt and boots). so either costume changes are happening later in the season, they're reusing outfits like normal people do, or the training montage happens extremely early on in the season

-so originally with the teaser trailer i thought ed falling in the water was followed by the shot of ed coming out of the water on the beach. i don't know if i fully believe that anymore because ed is NOT wearing his jacket on the cliff (see above), but he IS wearing it as he comes up out of the water, so either it's two different events and ed just spends a lot of time in the water this season or he puts his jacket on before jumping off the cliff

-ed his holding his right side as he slashes that dude on the beach so he definitely got hurt in battle but i hope it's not him getting stabbed bc ur supposed to cleverly take the sword on the left where all the unimportant bits are :(((

-I VERY STRONGLY BELIEVE that the person in the scene where stede turns around and shoots his gun into the air and everyone else on deck suddenly draws their weapons against that person is our boy lucius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's wearing a beret?????????? @sluterastede proposed that lucius got picked up by the english navy after getting thrown overboard and that's why we see him in the english navy garb (which we later see frenchie in too?? i believe an infiltration fuckery is afoot). also the fact that the shot immediately after this one is of Black Pete doing a happy little fist pump which i'm choosing to interpret as a cute little easter egg symbolizing Pete gets reunited with his love. i also also also believe lucius is in the shot of buttons about to zipline from one ship to the other. i missed him :')

-okay i know i said in an earlier post that stede running across the beach was romantic but i changed my mind and i think izzy is just making stede do cardio as part of his training lol. his outfit matches the one he's wearing when swordfighting izzy in that earlier wideshot and i think he even still has the scarf belt and the full beard in both scenes (explained at the end of this post via production stills) so maybe they have an honest to god training montage that takes course over several days and we get an incredible 80s powerballad to play on top of it while stede thinks of ed to motivate him or whatever. david jenkins hire me to help write season 3 i have ideas

-i think jim is behind stede as he breaks into the weirdly religious room we saw in the teaser when stede punches that guy??

-ed is pretty bloodied in the shot of stede leaning over him and saying VERY worriedly "ed????" so my theory is that ed got hurt in battle or he was taken captive by the Chinese warfleet and stede was worried he was grievously injured. however, once ed comes to and realizes who's kneeling over him, he gets pissed and headbutts stede because he's still mad at him for breaking his heart, and maybe his hands are restrained/his body is too weak so he can't push stede away. or maybe they had to begrudgingly work together on some mission and stede fucked it up and ed got hurt so he's mad about that idk!! ALSO HE'S WEARING THE CRAVAT HELLO

-ed in buttons's shirt looking so PEACEFUL what the HELL. obviously it's from the same general time as him being in Spanish Jackie's when she's talking to him about being a regular dude and later when the swede asks him if he's poor addkjfajdfhlkefh i fucking love this show and its writing so much. but ed says "no, i'm just trying something different man >:/" so i wonder if this is ed at the end of s2 or if this is more towards the middle as he's still in the thick of his healing journey. maybe buttons teaches ed about meditation and/or the tai chi he practiced with the Chinese warfleet crew??

-the BTS production still of ed with his "trust no one" tattoo also features what i believe is the treasure chest we see jim carrying off the ship in the shot where fang is smashing two dudes' heads together!

-i also think the BTS production still of stede with the beard is early on in ep 1 because he has a full beard (that im hoping someone on the revenge bullies him into shaving off to the scruff we see in the rest of the promo materials) and ALSO because he's wearing a long red scarf around his waist, which we never see again in any of the other promo material - except, however, around his neck as a makeshift cravat:

>it's the same exact material and everything! my guess is he gets his ass handed to him in a fight (maybe against izzy??) and his scarf belt gets destroyed, so he repurposes the shredded fabric into his necktie

-there's literal gold bars in the background of this production still lmao the kraken crew got BUSY during ed's goth era

>speaking of, the fucking hair dye dripping down izzy's forehead in this production still:

*sad clown noises*

in conclusion:

WE'RE BACK BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

anyway that's my second dissertation on less than 2 minutes of content that turned out to be quite literally 6 pages long :)

[alexanderwales]

Movie Review: I Saw the TV Glow

Spoilers follow. Content warning: death, transphobia, homophobia

I don't review most things I watch. I'm a writer, not a reviewer, and most things just sort of pass by having been consumed and thought about in a way that I don't feel the need to share with others. I'll be upfront: I Saw the TV Glow did not land for me. I think it's a good movie for the people that it resonated with, but I find the disconnect interesting, because it's perhaps the first time a horror movie has failed to hit me so completely that I'm left thinking that I just don't have the fear button it's trying to hit.

I Saw the TV Glow is a trans allegory. I'm not entirely sure that it can be read as anything else, but I'll try to make some comparisons later on.

In 1999 I was in eighth grade, and was the token boy in a group of girls who had all been friends for ages. I enjoyed hanging out with them, which went on for about two years until they started getting older boyfriends and I drifted toward spending time with other friend groups. There was one particular party where they talked me into dressing up as a girl and putting makeup on me, and when they had eagerly accomplished this they told me what a pretty girl I was. This was pretty much a non-event in my life, something that made close to zero impact on me and my self image. I had no gender feelings about it. I am cisgendered, in a way where I have sufficiently explored my feelings and found this to be true about myself. (Similarly, I have sufficiently explored my feelings to understand that I'm straight: in high school I kissed a few boys during games like spin the bottle or truth or dare, and it just did nothing for me. I've watched gay porn for the sake of science and don't get anything from it.)

The horror that I Saw the TV Glow taps into is idea of hiding your true self and not accepting who you truly are, running away from these realities of your personal identity because you deeply fear either that truth or the consequences of that truth. It's not a fear that I've ever had cause to experience, as much as I have (at times) been a disappointment to my parents and a social outcast. This is almost certainly a form of privilege, but it means that I was watching the movie at two steps removed, understanding what it was trying to get at but not feeling it, trying to run a janky simulation of a main character I did not at all relate to.

In the late 1990s there were a spate of movies about white men who were being slowly killed by working in cubicles, their True Nature repressed by the corporate hellscape. Fight Club, American Beauty, Falling Down, The Matrix, Office Space ... they really had a moment. Most of those movies worked for me, and when I was a teenager, some of them really worked for me. Fight Club and The Matrix came out in the same year, 1999, and both had similar messages of "you are trapped by this bullshit corporate life that demands you be weak and without purpose". As a fourteen-year-old white boy living in the Midwest, this really resonated with me. Fuck the system! Rage against the machine! But neither of those movies was about the how and the why of being trapped in a life that doesn't suit you. The Matrix has its own refusal of the call, but it's very brief, and not central.

There's a recurring theme in tons of movies about being an outsider and an outcast and hiding your true self, but eventually you can't keep up with the lies, and it all comes spilling out, and the people who you thought would hate you have to confront their prejudice or whatever. Sometimes the protagonist isn't even hiding it, it's just out in front for anyone to see, but I think that's gotten a little less common over the years. We got Luca and then Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken and it's really all over the place. I genuinely think that "I am different and no one understands me" is one of the stock experiences for teenagers. But the lesson imparted by those movies (and shows and books) usually starts with the premise that our protagonist is clearly and obviously different, and the message of "shine your light" can only really work if you've accepted that there's a light to shine.

Owen refuses the call over and over. Uncharitably, he's a coward. If I'm to be charitable, I think I would have to make a case for cowardice. It's scary to defy social expectations. It's scary to have this truth inside of you that demands you leave everything you've known behind, which is the explicit thing being asked of him during that first refusal of the call. I can relate to the fear and self-doubt. Owen has more to lose than Maddy, at least at that point. Later on, there's another refusal of the call, this time with more excuses that are transparently denial, and it's less easy to understand, though the imagery is that of death: buried in a hole in the ground, the burial of the old self to become the new. And at the end, it's just sad brokeness, understanding yourself and deciding that it's too late, even if the street chalk says that it's never too late.

(The character's name is Owen, who I have seen referred to with she/her pronouns as Isabel by some people, but I'm going to go with what the end credits say rather than attaching an identity to a character who has explicitly rejected that identity multiple times.)

In 1998, a year before The Matrix came out, a year before I would be dressing up like a girl for the pleasure of my friends, Matthew Shepard was beaten and tied to a fence, later dying of his injuries. I feel like I'm old enough now that the name Matthew Shepard has been replaced by other names in the collective consciousness as "the face of anti-queer violence", but at the time it was huge in the news and deeply affected me. This is the era of nostalgia that I Saw the TV Glow is harkening back to, and I think if you're hearing about a gay man being beaten to death in Colorado, watching something with ambiguous queer rep like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Xena: Warrior Princess would easily be a lifeline, much more than something that's explicitly queer. That's my guess, anyway, at what the movie is trying to model. The Matthew Shepard thing has always stuck with me as one of the news stories that defined my teenage years, and I cannot imagine how much more it would have affected me if I were gay.

Even in that context I find Owen to be awkward and unsympathetic, and I don't necessarily feel like this is an unendorsed reading of the film. If there's a lesson that the film wants us to take, it's "embrace the you inside", and if there are two lessons the second one is, "it's never too late". The reason it's a horror/drama is that the protagonist teaches us these lessons by suffering for not embodying the lessons. They're lessons I generally endorse. But the horror doesn't land for me because I've never been in that situation of holding back from some personal truth I wasn't willing to accept. I've always freely probed at the edges of my identity.

The other major theme of the movie is finding yourself by way of media, and sometimes artistically questionable media. Here, I think the movie works a little better for me. The show-within-a-movie is The Pink Opaque, which we get to see a lot of, and which represents ... probably a few things, but I think the major one that fits best with the overall themes is "queerness". Maddy escapes the world the film is set within, which is actually Mr. Melancholy's "midnight realm", and comes out in The Pink Opaque, which is then inferred to be the "real world". Maddy comes back for Owen, trying to help him escape, and the metaphor here is someone openly queer trying to help someone who's still in the closet. (This is also the subtext of Maddy leaving Owen behind.)

There's a bit later in the movie where Owen finds The Pink Opaque on a streaming service and finds it to be much more childish than he remembered it to be, and what we're shown of it also conflicts with earlier depictions. I don't know what this means from within the logic of the movie (probably that Mr. Melancholy's plans are working), but within the metaphorical logic of the movie, it's a comment on how the thing that was real was the way it made them feel and what it revealed to them about themselves. I think that's sort of neat, and there's definitely formative media that I haven't gone back to specifically because I worry that it won't hold up to what I created in my mind. My guess, from reading a few things, is that Buffy was the main inspiration, but I think for a lot of teenagers who grew up around the same time it might have been something else: something with subtext rather than something gay. Xena, maybe. There's probably something about the deniability of it that helps people who are questioning: when you're at the point of watching every season of Queer as Folk on DVD as it comes out, I think you're past the point where you're pushing down these feelings. (Note: I did watch every season of Queer as Folk on DVD as they came out, it was a high school ritual with a friend of mine.)

I thought the movie was interesting, but I didn't like it. I think it's personal in a way that some media is, not just personal to the people with the creative vision, but personal to the people it's meant to speak to. It's not a movie for me, and I'm left trying to engage with it by reconstructing some of the emotions from first principles. There are probably bits of imagery and dialogue that will stick with me, and it was cause for reflection, which I think is the mark of a good film, even if I didn't enjoy myself or feel any kind of personal impact. Some of this is just privilege on my part.

If you've struggled with identity issues and self-acceptance ... I don't know. I can't imagine that watching this movie would would feel good, given the ending, but that seems to be who the movie is squarely aimed at. I recommend it overall, even if I think the hit rate will probably be low.

[ethereal-night-fairy]

Weird Ask Wednesday™

So for this week's Weird Ask Wednesday™ we'll be doing things a little differently. I'm going to phrase the question at the end of this dungeons and dragons style opening and what my lovely mutuals and friends have to do is use an oc (or use a self insert) and answer the question. The outcome of your answers will depend on a D20 dice roll. Let me know if you prefer questions like these or if your prefer my old method of asking.

Opening

Krakens do not like dogs…or cats…or humans for that matter…

Yet somehow you find yourself in the lashing rain stuck on a boat that is WAAAY too small to capture said Kraken and both your dog and cat have unfortunately embedded their teeth into the creatures tentacles. You watch in horror as they trash while they get lifted 30 feet into the air…

Mr Kraken isn't pleased by your ill behaved pets…

What will you do to save your pets? You better do something before all three of you get eaten…

Your Hp: 95

Cat Hp: 72

Dog HP: 86

-

(You can approach this question however you like. You can try to negotiate with the Kraken or jump straight into fighting. And if you're feeling bold you could try to seduce the kraken though I highly discourage people from doing that…Please don't try to seduce the Kraken…I can't even fathom how I would go about writing that scene.)

Best of luck everyone! Try to make the scene your own, it doesn't have to be long and you can be as absurd as you want to be (just don't fuck the Kraken please). I'll write the outcome to your answers depending on your dice roll. You have to tell me the number you get from your d20 dice roll in order for me to write the outcome of the scene.

No pressure tags: @ghouljams @gogh-with-the-flow @groguspicklejar @glossysoap @meadow-of-daisies-and-lavender @warenai @waves-against-a-cliff @all-purpose-dish-soap @tinypandacakes @mortuarywriting @peachesofteal @kyletogaz @fulltacs @the-californicationist @yeyinde @s-coquette @duskier anyone else who wanted to play.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Ok, Dungeons and Dragons au because I can. And because a mutual asked for their main stats and now im thinking thoughts. They've all got the pirate background unless stated otherwise. I'm also only going to give Buttons a race but I imagine that porting them into D&D would make them elves and halflings and the like.

So there's like a few parties going on here. There's Ed's original Adventuring party which has since split up:

Ed: Warlock, fathomless pact, pirate background, Level 17, Str: 11 Dex: 14 Con: 15 Int: 20 Wis: 19 Cha: 20; strong focus in illusion spells, his patron, the Kraken has protected him at pivotal moments but overall their relationship is antagonistic.

Jack: Rogue, Swashbuckler archetype, level 17, Str: 13 Dex: 17 Con: 18 Int: 8 Wis: 15 Cha: 20, Whip is his main weapon and he's not like other swashbucklers tm

Anne: Rogue, Assassin archetype, Noble background (fight me about it), level 17, Str: 8; Dex: 20; Con: 14; Int: 14; Wis: 12; Cha: 17

Mary: Fighter, Champion because it's the best one, Level 17, Str: 20, Dex: 13, Con: 16, Int: 12, Wis: 15, Cha: 9

Fang: Ranger, Beastmaster archetype (I'm sorry from the perspective that it is the worst ranger subclass but yay puppy), Level 17, Str: 20, Dex: 11, Con: 15, Int: 13, Wis: 20, Cha: 13, used to have a dog but it died and it was Eds fault that it died. Now his animal companion is a goat. The goat drinks rum.

---

And then there's the revenge crew who is yet another group, they used standard array and get a racial +2/+1 for my convenience:

Jim: Rogue, Assassin archetype, probably some homebrew raised in a cult background that I can't believe they haven't put out yet, or maybe haunted one but that seems wrong, Level 5, Str: 8; Dex: 17; Con: 14; Int: 13; Wis: 13; Cha: 10.

Olu: Paladin, oath of devotion, pirate also seems wrong for him but idk; Level 5: Str: 14; Dex: 10; Con: 13; Int: 11; Wis: 12; Cha: 15, the oath is of devotion to his family which is Jim xoxo.

Lucius: Eloquence Bard, guild artisan background which lists scribes; Level 5; Str: 8; Dex: 12; Con: 10; Int: 15; Wis: 13; Cha: 17

Pete: Fighter, not sure what subclass open to suggestions, Level 5; Str: 16; Dex: 13; Con: 16; Int: 12; Wis: 10; Cha: 8

Frenchie: Artificer (I feel like a homebrew subclass or alchemist), Entertainer background, Level 5; Str: 8; Dex: 10; Con: 12; Int: 17; Wis: 13; Cha: 15

Wee John: Eldritch Knight fighter, level 5; Str: 17; Dex: 8; Con: 12; Int: 14; Wis: 10; Cha: 14; The DM is letting him take a bunch of evocation spells because the base rules for this subclass are dumb as fuck (i know the spells are school locked i just dont remember to which two schools) he will be able to cast fire ball by 13th level. Let Eldritch Knight and Arcane trickster take whatever spells they want 2k24 rogues don't need to be more invisible they do need to be able to cast identify.

Roach: life cleric, level 5; Str: 8; Dex: 13; Con: 15; Int: 12; Wis: 17; Cha: 10; his god is a homebrew deity who is the patron of all things that refuse to die and its holiest creature is the humble cockroach and once they entered the temple and the dm pulled up a gospel cover of I'm a Survivor by destiny's child for background music.

Buttons: Druid, Circle of the Moon, Hermit Background, Hexblood lineage, level 5; Str: 12; Dex: 11; Con: 14; Int: 13; Wis: 17; Cha: 8

Swede: Bard, College of Glamor (mostly because I'm still not convinced his name wasn't stolen by the fey), level 5; Str: 13; Dex: 12; Con: 16; Int: 8; Wis: 10; Cha: 16

Archie: Barbarian, zealot, same background as Jim but a different cult, level (whatever they're at by season 2); Str: 14; Dex: 13; Con: 17; Int: 8; Wis: 10; Cha: 13 (plus an ASI presumably which would go into strength); Archie and Ivan have the same Player that's why Ivan died. Very sad. Oh well there's other fighters.

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Miscellaneous

Zheng: Bard, College of Eloquence or College of swords, Level 17; Str: 9; Dex: 20; Con: 14; Int: 17; Wis: 12; Cha: 20; alternatively? Hexblade Warlock (to parallel Ed) and Auntie is the sword. Same stats if true

Spanish Jackie: Mastermind Rogue, criminal background (it's like a pirate background but less boat oriented), Level 15; Str: 10; Dex: 18; Con: 13; Int: 20; Wis: 15; Cha: 18; retired adventurer who owns a bar that the party doesn't find out has levels until they fuck around and find out in her bar

Ivan: Fighter, Champion, Level 10; Str: 19; Dex: 10; Con: 16; Int: 10; Wis: 12; Cha: 13; player got board of playing a fighter and didn't really flesh him out :(

Izzy: Fighter, Champion, Soldier background (no water vehicle proficiency), Level 3 (he has not leveled up in 8 years, very sad); Str: 15 ; Dex: 14 ; Con: 6; Int: 8; Wis: 5; Cha: 6; I actually rolled this one up. 3d6 no rerolls, no dice box, and if it falls on the floor it's a one. Believe it or not this is after the +2/+1 to any stat. Anyway I'm an Izzy apologist now. Yes he did awful things but truly how can we blame the little guy when his charisma modifier is a -2 and his wisdom modifier is a -3. He had no idea what was going on and he couldn't talk his way out of a wet paper bag.

Stede: Barbarian, path of wild magic, Noble background, level 2 (wow, he's only been adventuring for a few weeks and he's already leveled up!); Str: 17; Dex: 8; Con: 15; Int: 16; Wis: 11; Cha: 10; I also rolled this stat array but this time 4d6 drop lowest. Also he's taking the lucky feat as his first feat. Whether that's at level one because he's human or at level 4 because he's something else is up to interpretation.

[beautitudes]

Beautitudes Masterlist

please do not upload my fanfiction to any ai bots or other ai services. do not print or bind my fics without asking me first. do not write fanfiction for my fanfiction. feel free to contact me any time–i'm always happy to discuss my works, old, new and even those that do not yet exist outside my head.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

I'm Leaving to Christmas Town

(E, 8,836 words)

Not another Hallmark AU!

Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach have a perfect life. They've been together for two years and one month, they are planning a wedding and they are absolutely in love with each other. However, one big fight smashes it all. Ed accepts an offer from an old friend and books a flight to Christmas Town. Will Stede follow his fiancé and try and get him back? And who the fuck is Calico Jack?!

Thunder, thunder

(T, 2,068 words)

Ed is afraid of thunderstorms, has been for as long as he can remember. They make him hear and feel things that aren't–can't be–real. The roaring of the deep, wild sea. The salt on his lips. The all-encompassing cold...

Stede offers him a different perspective.

Breathing the Same Air

(T, 1,223 words)

Stede is enjoying some time off in the sun, immersed in his book, when everything turns to chaos.

The Kraken and the Teller of Tales

(M, 4,427 words)

“There once was the Teller of Tales…”

“Who was also a merman. Right?” Edward interrupted him and looked at his face.

“Of course. Who was also a merman. He lived at the bottom of the deep blue sea and his life was alright, really. He had a family. He had gold, jewellery and the all finest little trinkets he could find on sunken ships. But he had an unhappy heart, a troubled mind and no one to talk to about his grievances...”

---

Edward and Stede take a vacation from work in their inn on board the Revenge. Ed can't sleep and Stede tells him a story. Next night, it's Ed's turn.

And in Your Touch There's the Sea

(G, 1,180 words)

Loving the sea, Stede Bonnet thought, is the foulest misfortune.

🌻🌻

Butterflies

(M, incomplete)

To Paul, photography in its essence was the overwhelming need to grab a camera and capture a single, remarkable moment in time for its fleeting beauty. Just like one would catch a pretty butterfly, pin it under the glass and hang it up on the wall.

And love... Love had similar mechanisms.

Pygmalion and other stories

(M, 2,025 words)

A collection of tiny moments shared by Paul and Julian throughout their time together.

Dollhouses

(T, 1,638 words)

While Paul was writing a life story for Julian in his head at orientation, Julian was most likely doing the same, but my story is not just about that.

What do you think would happen if Paul and Julian met again a couple years later? Bear that thought in mind.

This piece features an airport (I was sure at first it was going to be called The Terminal, but then it didn’t sound right), flowery dresses, dolls, drama students (because of course it does), summer trips, games and birds.

Sleepless in Milwaukee

(M, 5,085 words)

Ten years ago, Julian Fromme met Paul Fleischer. When he fled Pittsburgh, he built himself a completely new life and identity. Has he found happiness though, or is happiness a notion he left far behind?

A story, featuring: Lake Michigan, the scarlet scarf, late night radio shows, one very fluffy cat and, most importantly, several letters.

[zillanovikov]

there are many ways to deal with living on a dying planet

none of them are healthy

i have tried most of them

I have so many mental illnesses they all start to blend together into a dysfunctional rainbow. I used to cry about how if fascism overcame and civilization collapsed no one would feed my stupid cat. (The smart cat could catch her own food.) Now I'm on meds and I don't cry so much.

I have tried working inside the system to make change. But the master's tools can never dismantle the master's house.

I have tried working outside the system to make change. I haven't made any progress that way either.

This is why reading cascade hit me so hard. I have been there.

I don't have magic to predict the future and know exactly how this story ends like Ian does but I've read the IPCC report, or at least the chapter summaries, and you don't need to be a wizard to know where we're heading

I haven't been on a research vessel to find a kraken at the bottom of the ocean, I've never tried to facefuck an eldritch abomination with science, but I've been the egghead nerd who wants to run down the corridor screaming about the truth and I don't because, like Blythe, I know no one is listening, or maybe they all already know and, like me, they don't know what to do about it

that's eric. he knows. eric has read the ipcc report. eric thinks that if he works for the Good Government inside the system, they can make things better and salve his conscience. but doing the Right Thing (tm) just feels like complicity and he can't help the feeling that his left-wing allies despise him for his cowardice just as much as his conservative family does for his bravery

cascade has magic in the apocalyse, yes, and maybe that's unrealistic, but 2.5 degree warming is unrealistic, losing entire island nations is unrealistic, 60% fewer insects is unrealistic, mass drought leading to mass starvation is unrealistic. we are living through the kind of story we all know the ending to.

and it's nice to see that story on the page. to see people like me trying to figure out what survival looks like, what fighting back looks like, when the enemy is our own destruction of the planet and our own apathy.

and fascists. fascists are also the fucking enemy.

anyway you need to read cascade. i need to have people to talk to about it. it's by rachel a rosen.

[oldmanffucker]

I feel there’s a lot of misunderstanding about Ed and Stede’s motivations/intentions/states of mind in ep 7 so these are my 2 cents cobbled together from 4am texts

Stede just has autism!! He’s acting “weird” this episode bc he's never felt SEEN before. At least not by strangers, and not for being Cool. And Ed doesn't get that really, he doesn't see that stede isn't really just Super Into Being a Cool Pirate Guy all of a sudden - We know stede is into ED rather than piracy, and if Ed wanted to not be a pirate stede would be like bet let's have an inn.l - But Ed sees this moment as him being different than Ed is ready for him to be rn bc of where he’s at emotionally now rn. And that's valid! He IS in a big transition moment. (But also he was pretty accepting of his fame, offering tips and tricks until Jackie mentions he might not be enough for stede anymore and his hackles are immediately up) But when stede finds him and is like ‘I set him ablaze then said something witty and everyone laughed!’ Stede isn't In Big Pirate mode he's literally celebrating Being Laughed With not At. He's calling all these people his friends bc he's never FELT any of this before. He doesn't GET these experiences.

And I'm so glad Ed realized he doesn't want to be a pirate! And realized he doesn't know himself! And realized he's confused about things. But for them to be on different pages NOW of all times IS THE issue!!! Bc they're both experiencing completely new things to them that are Common place for the other and therefore neither can see the importance of the moment for their partner.

I feel like that’s why Stede yelled "you're a coward!" And seemed like he meant it. Bc he doesn't GET why Ed doesn't Get him right now. STEDE overcoming his cowardice is being bold and brash and seems to be glazing over the face that ED'S bravery is in choosing himself - choosing to listen to the desire to throw his leathers overboard and be contemplative today and try to find a quiet not piratey life.

Neither of them mean the mean things they say. Ed doesn’t really think last night was a mistake but he’s not used to change and the change in the dynamic is scary to him. piracy is violence and violence means his love is more likely to be in harms way and he doesn’t know how to reconcile the idea of losing him fr. They just need to talk!!! Please!!!!!!!!

And then after all that and Ed calling last night a mistake is when stede starts acting like kraken Ed (in his own way) (albeit a very mild version Imfao) - being impulsive, starting fights for no reason but to prove himself (to whom?) Getting into dangerous situations to provoke someone into hurting him to let him show he is capable because he needs someone to know he's capable. But at what cost? He wouldn't have stopped if the bombs hadn't gone off. He would have kept going until she fucked him up. He thinks he needs to be bigger and stronger for Ed and can’t realize that that isn’t true bc he keeps seeming to lose him for reasons he can’t discern and he’s losing his crew after he got what he thought he wanted and is realizing he doesn’t know what he needs to be in order to keep people around him and doesn’t realize that it’s not *him* that is making olu choose Zheng or even Ed leaving. Correlation not causation.

[i-found-you-justine-time]

On Izzy in S2. Spoilers below the cut.

I wasn't going to actually post anything. Was just having fun looking through gifsets but I have so many feelings about Izzy and these three episodes I just had to ramble and get it off my chest. I was never a big Izzy "fan" per se. As in, he wasn't in my top fav characters in season 1 and at most I just really enjoyed hating him. But the way he's developed is just so fucking fascinating and heart breaking.

Cause the reason he's fun to hate in season 1 is because of how much of a dick he is. But it's because he's so desperate to hold on to what he has. Izzy loved his life as first mate of Blackbeard's crew. And yeah, he loved Blackbeard. He was so comfortable in that life he was going to do anything to keep it going. But Blackbeard was dying long before Stede showed up. Ed talks about how fucking bored he is. And the way he and Izzy interact it's pretty clear that he's acting more and more like a child Izzy has to keep focused. And Ed falling for Stede was the final nail in the coffin. But Izzy couldn't accept that. So he did everything he could to get Blackbeard back. Cept, instead of bringing back Blackbeard he awakened the Kraken. And so when we see Izzy again at the top of this season he's tired and scared and broken because he's slowly realizing that what he was fighting for is not what he has. He's created a monster and is now at that monster's mercy. And yeah, in the midst of that Stede and his crew's influence is breaking through. Now Izzy has nothing left but to try to walk back what he did. Try to "talk it through" and all that. Try to share his feelings. It's just so raw and heartbreaking and I'm living for it. And I'm wondering where he's gonna go next. Anyway, thanks for letting me get that out of my head.

[fand0mswithbunny]

the second golden bolt tournament premiere review/analysis 🔩

Welcome ladies, gentlemen, and gentlethems to the first of many Battlebots episode reviews and analysis. I was going to do a liveblog but I feel asleep not even half way through and I finished the episode earlier today. If you haven't seen the new episode I highly suggest you do, there's a lot of things that went down and its just a good premiere and episode, but if you haven't you might wanna scroll. (also this is going to be a long one who prepare your nuts people YES I MEANT WHAT I SAID.)

Anyhow LETS GET IT ON, *BRO*

First of, I wanna start with the changes with this show and the differences between this season and the last one. The most notable one is the removal of the matchup with the gatekeeper from the last season. I thought they were going to reveal it in the end or make it so that the final competitor standing does not know who they're fighting until near the end, but no! They don't even mention it beforehand at all in the episode and the last bot standing instantly goes to the finals. Idk why they removed it, I THOUGHT THEY WERENT BUT I GUESS NOT?? Based on the little clips they showed at the start they showed Will Bales, and I thought this was because Hypershock was going to be a gatekeeper for this season but IDK THEY REMOVED IT?? I do kinda miss that aspect of the show because its what made it more interesting for sure but it did really caught me off-guard with it. Maybe Hypershock will be in one of the brackets? Or maybe they just won't compete at all. Idk, its just something I thought was worth mentioning because I couldn't really find it being discussed anywhere. Also I love Kenny's Key and their.... interesting connotations. Aside from that there's no big changes, so let's get to the fights themselves! SHREDDIT BRO! vs Skorpios - Wow. Whoever predicted Shreddit Bro was going to come out like Minotaur on this one should be given an gold medal WHAT AN OPENING FIGHT. Idk what Evan Arias did to the robot before this but they're looking like a beast out there. The Bro™ was so dominant and all over Skorpios the full fight, if you showed this fight to someone who's never seen the show they'll think its some top tier contender for the title. NO ITS JUST SHREDDIT BRO AND THEY JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE- also I just realized Zach look kinda as his bot was being counted out UEUEUEUEUE I WANNA GIVE HIM A HUG :( YOU TRIED YOUR BEST PRODUCERS JUST REALLY FUCKED THEM OVER BY GIVING THEM A DRUM </3333333 Overall great opener, really good start for Shreddit Bro.

Rotator vs Terrortops - Idk if I have much to say about this fight as much as the last one, but Terrortops didn't do too bad here, they survived a while against Rotator which is not easy. But yeah, this was Rotator's fight to win and its pretty satisfying seeing them be so dominant again.

Switchback vs Kraken - WOAH YOU GUYS IT WENT TO THE JUDGES HOW SHOCKING! Yeahh Kraken got pretty beaten here, I realized these two are pretty similar in design but Switchback just kept delivering the hits. I don't have anything else to say except good performance from Switchback and this is Matt Spurk's TENTH loss in a row since Rusty jabbed Kraken's face out. Like that is just brutal. SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A HUG AND A GOOD OPPONENT PLS </333

Valkyrie vs Ominous - I'm starting to see a pattern here that all the winners had something to prove and has mostly really improved since last season. I thought Ominous would've held on a bit better because of that big plow but yk. yeah. This fight was honestly the best they've performed in a while until the next fights, like I think something simultaneously clicked for all the winning teams in the pits and they decided to POP TF OFF- and honestly?? good for them. good for them.

(okay that took a while to write but its okay. just. 3. more. fights.)

SHREDDIT BRO! vs Switchback - Okay if Minotaur and Shreddit Bro doesn't happen in season 8 I'm rioting. BUT ALSO Switchback, yk in the first 5 seconds WASNT DOING BAD and then he lost the chain. At that point The Bro™ the starting chewing away at him like he was Minotaur. SERIOUSLY HOW? BUT ALSO IM REALLY IMPRESSED. Like I love how this episode was just full of twists and turns and the fandom were collectively shocked at how out of nowhere their wins and dominance are. LIKE THAT LAST HIT WAS INSANE and usually Switchback's pretty durable and bulky. I think if they can figure out a way to protect the wheels, maybe some armor, and get their weapon to not hit the floor, they can be a force to be recon with. (also ik what I described is basically Minotaur but listen let Evan cook okay.) This was the fight I started becoming a Broliever one would say. I believe in the bro that brolieves in me. ooh yeah gottem. (im not mentally stable someone help)

Rotator vs Valkyrie - We all knew producers were going to hype up this rematch and it did not disappoint. Both robots held up really well against each other but Rotator's plow was a really good choice. I do think that Rotator would've had a chance if they'd boxrush them, but otherwise Valkyrie was winning this. Credits to Lucy for staying aggressive and if there were more time I think the plow and side armor would've been completely ripped out. I do prefer the first fight but this fight was still really good.

Okay. That was a lot of fights. But lets take a break and get on with the AWARDS!! First off, the Excellence in Sportsmanship went to Rory Mangles of Monsoon. I didn't know who he was at first but when I was looking through Reddit and seeing the stories, yeah, this guy deserves it. What an absolute chad. This did get me thinking, with this award and the Founder's Award, it got me thinking that these awards can now be awarded to an individual person and not just a full team which is really cool. Now onto the Most Destructive which NOT ONLY DIDNT GO TO SHITTIDE BUT WENT TO MY BOY HUUUUUUGE!! WOOOOOOOO YEAHHH BABY!! THATS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR, THATS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT!!!!!!!! ahem Okay seriously I thought it was either going to Shittide or Copperhead 100% and I understand why ppl would be surprised at this BUT I AM NOT COMPLAINING WE TAKE THIS W. EAT SHIT ETHAN. Onto the Grant Imahara: Best Design Award goes to RIPperoni and honestly I didn't see it going anyother way, maybe except Horizon but theyre design wasn't performing well, so RIPperoni was really the only pick. And finally, the Founder's Award which goes to Martin Mason! HONESTLY REALLY DESERVED he is the spirit of the sport and overall he just seems like such a great guy. Good for him. Good for him. Now, with all that aside, its time for the finals.

SHREDDIT BRO! vs Valkyrie - Coming into this fight I wanted The Bro™ to win because of their story, but Valkyrie really did good by breaking their drum, but Evan did amazing trying to adapt and get Valkyrie to break their spinner. Just shows that even when Evan is being this cool guy character he's really smart and tactical. I'm so excited for what's to come from this bot and congrats to Evan. Good for him. Good for him.

This episode was a really good start to the season and next weeks episode is a really stacked lineup. I personally think Black Dragon, and MadCatter or Whiplash are my picks for the finals but I'm personally rooting for my boy REESE EWERT FROM FUSION LETS GOOO REESE FUCK THEM UP!! As for SHREDDIT BRO!, I think they lose against Sawblaze, a pretty good chance against Tantrum, and 50/50 against End Game. THINK ABOUT IT we live in a timeline where SHREDDIT BRO has a good chance at beating the former champions. LET THAT SINK IN THE DOOR. I do kinda think the pacing was kinda off this episode but overall this is a really good start to the season, a solid 8/10 episode for me.

ok now im going to sit down time to rest. good night tristate area.

[nicnacsnonsense]

“I don't even need to be on the boat.”

You say it like, “It’s all so fucking boring,” reaching for that answer because it’s the easy one, the obvious one. You used to be happy (didn’t you?) and what else has changed since then except that all the thrill and challenge is gone now? It must be the boredom to blame for this crushing emptiness inside you. You don’t ask yourself if it really is all so easy, then why do you always feel stressed? (You don’t ask yourself a lot of things.)

You say it like, “I just wasn’t built for sitting idle, man,” but you don’t know you mean it like “I don’t have any friends.” “What kind of pirate has a friend?”

“The Gentleman Pirate, I presume?”

and

“We need to be a lighthouse.”

and

“You wear fine things well.”

But even as the emptiness inside you fills, even still, you don’t realize it. Not until the knife is inches from his back and won’t go any closer.

He says, “Hey, I’m your friend.”

He says, “That bizarre little man over there likes you very much.”

You both say, “Co-captains?”

You lean your head against his hand, and you think oh, this is what it feels like to not be lonely.

“And making a turtle fight a crab? That's just mean!”

You can’t look him in the eye. You feel guilty because he’s upset. You feel guilty because he’s only here because you asked him to be. You feel guilty because he’s right; it is mean. And you didn’t even notice.

“This is me.” You say it like, “I’m not a good person, Stede,” and you think it’s over.

But

But

Butbutbut

“I don't know if I want to go back to the old days. Just drinking all day and biting the heads off turtles, or... making some poor bloke eat his own toes as a laugh.” Because maybe you’re not a good person, but maybe you can choose to be one anyway.

“You really don't have to do this.” “Yeah, I know I don't.”

You sign your life away because you don’t want that life anymore anyway. You shave your beard off because you don’t want Blackbeard anymore either. You just want to be Edward. You’re adrift, floating, and the only thing tethering you is his hand in your hand, his side touching your side, his lips pressed to your lips.

Love is a very fine thing indeed, and you wear it well.

Until it

All

Comes

Crashing

Down

You’ve been here before. Treading water, waiting to drown.

“What if it's not a death? What if life just... begins again?”

What if? What if you could still choose happiness? What if you still have friends? What if you could still just be Edward? What if? And why not?

“Edward better watch his fucking step.”

Oh right.

“We’re all just in various stages of fucking each other over.”

“The love of a pet makes a man weak.”

“I am the Kraken.”

That’s why.

“I don't even need to be on the boat. I'm a ghost.”

[carmillas-girlfriend]

🎨 and 🐍 for the ask game :)

Thank you for playing my silly little game!

Mary Allamby Bonnet - I REALLY love Mary!! I know a lot of people are like "theyre three apples tall :)" about characters they really love and that is Mary to me. She was so real for KNOWING that Stede had left and hadn't died but starting a Widows Support Group anyway. I wish her a long and happy life with Doug, Alma, and Louis. I know she will because she has all of Stede's money now. Also I've read a couple Stede/Ed/Mary fics and they're rolling around in my head now if anyone cares.

Archie - I headcanon that Archie has Jack's Disease and is actually only four years old.

I remember Madeleine Sami posting on their insta that Archie was a "big, dumb joy" to play and that is a characterization that I wholeheartedly agree with. I wonder how Archie ended up being picked up by Ed's crew but I'm glad that it happened! I also wonder what kind of fuck ass life she must have led before being picked up by the crew where she's telling a story about being stuck inside of a snake with a HUGE smile on her face and then the explanation "you know cuz it was my birthday! 😃"

On a more serious note, I am also wondering more about Archie's backstory for specifically her actions during the suicide/mutiny night. Ed threatens to kill the entire crew unless Jim and Archie fight to the death, and Jim is immediately arguing with him "your crazy, I'm not doing that, yadda yadda" and then ARCHIE JUST FUCKING DECKS JIM. and then they DO fight a lot. But it's only when Archie is laid out on the deck and Jim is about to kill Archie in an attempt to save the crew that Archie says, "it's okay, its just life". I really wonder what is going on in her head. How much of it is something from her past that makes her feel like her life is so....not valuable? How much of it is her trying to sacrifice herself to save the crew? And how much is it from being on Trauma Crew with the Kraken so long that she also may be suicidal?

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Wayward Waters Chapter 7

——————————————————————————

Hello everyone! Chapter 7! time for some action! (and vore)

time to explore more of the world!

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always Reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

AO3 Link for those that prefer the layout there;

AO3 Wayward waters

——————————————————————————

Being trapped underwater was bad enough but being trapped underwater with a bunch of rocks pinning me in place while a small bird legged person was in my mouth was even worse.

To Jamie’s credit they were less freaked out than I had expected.

They did however mutter Profanities that would make any saint faint.

“...fucking pirates i hope those Hobnockers get dragged to the driest hell that exists by the Kraken itself! Shooting at us! such absolute…”

Yeah that sounded about right, and the rest of that sentence was something I never ever would repeat in front of anyone.

But now what? While I could hold my breath for longer than before thanks to Imik, I was still stuck underwater!

There was one boulder pressing down on my shoulder that I was sure if I could dislodge it I could get free.

The problem was that the Ardua forms shoulder was not made for reaching over to my back.

I could probably get to it and yank it free if I could use my teeth, but alas Jamie was still in my mouth, cursing something fierce.

No other option then, and i couldn't even tell Jamie it was okay, fuck.

Well, I'm sure they'd forgive me later after I explained, after all this was better than drowning, probably.

So, tipping my head back I let Jamie slide farther backwards,  the angle making it a little weird as I swallowed.

Unlike what I had expected Jamie was not panicking, still cursing words i could never repeat in front of anyone of course, but made no move to stop me.

Were they alright?

As far as I could tell they did not seem injured, or did I miss something?

Well, i couldn't really check on that underwater so i swallowed again.

There was some movement from Jamie, 

but they only seemed nervous instead of afraid.

As puzzling as that was, I could ponder over it later,  for now I had to get to air!

So I swallowed again, sending Jamie into the pouch where they curled up without a fight which was VERY strange knowing them.

No time to dwell on that.

I turned my head as much as i could, opening my mouth and grabbing the boulder with my teeth, seeing bubbles escape from my mouth.

Gripping the boulder as hard as I could, which probably was not good for my teeth, I yanked at it, propelling myself forward and out from under the landslide that had half buried me.

Without missing a beat I began to swim upwards as my lungs started to burn.

The surface was still so far away though,  and my lungs strained with the need to breathe.

Fuck, i needed to get to the surface! 

It wasn't just my life on the line! Jamie was with me as well!

And since I swallowed them they had no means of fending for themself.

Though they were still a LOT calmer than I had expected them to be.

Head injury maybe?

Fuck fuck FUCK.

Suddenly something grabbed me by the scruff and twisted around to see what it was. 

I caught a glimpse of a long blue body with a paler underside.

Imugi! She was way better at swimming and dragged me to the surface like the wet cat I surely resembled now.

Imugi dragged my head up to the surface, holding me as I gasped for air desperately, coughing out some water I had gotten into me as I moved the boulder.

My limbs were shaking, and I was just sucking in air to refill my lungs.

Then there was an indignant kick in my pouch, JAMIE!

Hoo fuck, they still didn't know they were safe! Though with how calm they were right now they might have figured it out?

While chaotic as hell Jamie wasn't dumb, but still, they probably wanted out.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

They were quite a bit disoriented, one moment they were nearly drowning after getting tangled in the rope of the research crane the next Donovan had freed them while in his big green form.

Then the entire underwater cliffside came crashing down on them.

And now they found themselves in Donova'ns mouth, being pressed against the ridged palate as the surrounding water was flushed out.

Then air filled the limited space they had and they gasped, The air was not exactly fresh and somehow had a very faint hint of cinnamon but it was better than water.

Okay, so, Donovan was likely trapped under the landslide, and at least tried to not let them drown so that was a plus.

Though Jamie could think of a lot of things that were better than sitting halfway in a giant mouth.

Now what? Their legs were not made for swimming at all! Way too thin to ever be effective at treading water.

And Donovan didn't have air forever either.

They started to curse out the pirates with every insult and swear that came to mind, and that was a lot.

When people said cursing like a sailor then Jamie surely could do that.

They could tell that Donovan was thinking, moving his head around, likely to look for anything helpful.

Suddenly the space they were in tipped, sending them fully into the mouth, eurch but at least like that getting bitten on accident was less likely.

And then it kept tipping.

What was that Landrat turned wet cat doing?

Their head hit the dangly thing in the back of his throat, Uvula Ronan had called it? And were sucked into the weirdly squishy throat with a gulp.

What the fuck was Donovan doing?

They cursed some more, had Donovan seen something? Another Seamonster that wasn't Imugi?

Jamie did not believe that Donovan would do this out of malice, he'd jumped after them to help them, so obviously he had to have a plan.

Maybe he needed his teeth again? He used them to cut the rope, maybe he got partially tangled as well? Or needed to defend himself?

As stupid as it was to trust someone they had known for less than a week they decided to trust him.

And from Ronan’s biology rambles they knew they could at least survive ten to twenty minutes largely unharmed.

Another swallow tugged them farther and they let out a string of curses but tried to keep calm otherwise aside from some nervous twitching.

There was another swallow and Jamie ended up in something akin to an oversized fleshy hammock that shifted with Donovan's movements, Was he already trying to free himself?

Judging by the very muted sounds and moving about which made the muscles around them flex that was likely the case.

The wild moving about was replaced by rhythmic movements, swimming, Donvan got free!

They could hear his hearts beat wildy, both of them straining to keep the large body working in the absence of air.

Fuck Donovan must be running out of breath very soon, He was a land dweller after all. 

It was kind of impressive he'd managed thus far.

They really hoped Donovan could get to air soon, aside from the fact they wanted out seeing as they were in a literal fucking STOMACH they were aware that if Donovan should drown they were done for as well.

Still, they tried to keep calm, while they knew little about Donovan he had seemed like quite an alright guy, going as far as to spill some of his secrets like the shifting thing so he could help Ronan.

There was the sudden sensation of Donovan being yanked upwards, an attack?

But as there was no trashing and instead he was dragged upwards it was very likely that Imugi had grabbed the big Idiot that surrounded them right now.

Thank God! Even if Jamie was an agnostic.

Jamie could feel as they breached the surface, and then hear it as Donovan coughed loudly.

They put their hands over their ears to protect against the volume as they felt Donovan's lungs strain with effort to get fresh air.

Yeah, fresh air would be very nice right now.

While nothing had happened thus far somehow, not even the slightest itch or tingle they sure as fuck wanted out!

They kicked at the nearest wall once, to make clear they were displeased with the situation and wanted out.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Imugi dragged my soggy body over to the ship which at least seemed largely unharmed and tried her best to nudge me onboard.

Not even a second on the Boat i began to retch, wanting to let Jamie out as soon as possible while ignoring the confused shouts and questions from Imik and Ronan, Akeem still staying calm somehow.

Not even a minute later Jamie was sitting on the deck and flinging a mix of slime and seawater from their hoodie.

“YOU DIDN'T HAVE A BETTER IDEA THAN THAT?”

Yep, not happy at all, and now Imik and Ronan were staring at me like i had grown a second head, Akeem was still as stone faced as ever for obvious reasons.

Before I could answer something I started coughing again, turning my head away to not do it into their confused faces.

While I coughed my lungs out that would rather get air inside instead of immediately trying to expel it Ronan came up to me and placed a hand on my soggy arm.

“Are you okay? What the hell happened? And why the fuck did you eat Jamie?”

As much as I wanted to answer, my lungs were busy trying to escape my body as I coughed more, the taste of saltwater still present.

Though it was astounding none of them accused me of attempted murder or where otherwise freaked out about it.

Then again those guys had more than a few screws loose.

“Yeah! Fucking gross dude”

Complained a soggy Jamie and flicked a mix of seawater and slime from their sleeve, hands still hidden away.

“I- *cough* didn't want Jamie to- *cough* drown! I'm sorry about it but i- *cough* assure you Jamie was Safe! *cough*”

They looked at me like I told them seawater as drinkable but didn't ask any more questions for now as my lungs tried to exit my body by force.

“Okay, maybe we should all calm down till our nerves aren't as high strung anymore, and Donovan manages to keep his lungs in, we probably can understand him better if he isn't trying to eject his respiratory system anyway”

That was surprisingly reasonable considering they just saw me throw up their friend after almost drowning.

Ronan awkwardly patted my soggy fur and got immediately distracted by the texture of it while Imik handed Jamie a towel who yanked it from him and wrapped themselves into it.

Akeem had already disappeared to who knew where.

I looked over to the other side of the ship and saw that the Pirates were leaving as fast as they could, why?

Oh wait, if Imugi had been able to help me then she probably scared away the other ship.

I couldn't believe I owed a Sea serpent.

Well, if i ever found something nice for a sea monster i'd give it to her.

What the hell did sea serpents even like? Whatever.

I let my head bonk against the floor of the deck, right now just trying to get my breath back, feeling kinda nauseous.

Probably for the better that i let Jamie out then, they would have cursed me to hell and then some.

“Hey are you okay? How deep down did you end up? I’ll question the stuff with Jamie later but right now you don't look so good”

Oh right, Ronan was still there, and why would it matter how deep down I went?

“I'm fine? I think I'm just tired, a little headache maybe?  so don't worry about me”

He didn't look too convinced of that.

“Okay, so fatigue and headaches, any numbness or weakness? Aching joints? Any of these?”

Well, now that he mentioned it.

“Uh, now that you say it, kinda? That underwater rockslide did have quite a punch though”

I could see him mouth the words ‘underwater rockslide?’ before shaking his head.

“Oookay, you might have divers sickness, just, don't move and don't shift. 

I have no idea if that would make it worse honestly, just lay down and don't move, okay?”

Divers sickness? What?

“Uh what? What is-”

Ronan shoved at my face with both hands before I could finish the sentence.

“Shut, go lay down right now, Divers sickness is when you dive down really deep and then resurface too fast, there might be bubbles in your bloodstream right now!”

There might be WHAT in my blood? Now that did not sound good.

So I heeded his advice and laid down where I was, just feeling tired and with a stupid headache that only got worse.

“About Jamie-”

“Don't worry, Imik and Akeem are looking after them, and we will talk later about what the hell was going on, just rest for now? 

If you have divers sickness Jamie probably does as well so i'm going to check in with the others for a moment.

I'll be right back! Don't fall off the deck!”

With that Ronan walked into the doorframe due to missing the actual doorway before actually going into the ship, leaving me alone.

Well, almost alone, Imugi was still there and making concerned and confused whistle-clicks.

I turned my head a little so I could see her and she immediately bonked her head against me softly.

She made a chirping noise and then licked my forehead like an over affectionate cat.

“Thanks, for the save not the grooming”

She made a clicking sound and continued to try and groom the seawater out of my soggy fur.

Well, the plants on my back probably didn't like saltwater anyway so why not?

Though I had no idea how much she understood of what I said, I did the polite thing and thanked her for saving me, and by proxy Jamie.

I let my head rest on the wood while Imugi was still busy with getting the saltwater out of my fur, feeling just tired.

Maybe a nap would be nice, the headache might even go away in the meantime.

So I closed my eyes and let Imugi do whatever, after saving me she deserved to be like an affectionate cat.

The next time I woke up it was to someone shoving a measuring stick into my ear.

“GAH! What are you doing?”

I shook my head like a dog to get the weird feeling out of my ear canal, looking annoyed at Ronan who tried and failed to put on an innocent face.

“Sorry, i was just curious, also i wanted to see if you had any other symptoms! Are you better now? You slept for like four hours!”

Four hours? Huh, well, at least i felt better now.

“I'm okay now? I think? The headache is gone at least, also what did you put a stick into my ear for?”

While not painful it sure had been a weird sensation, and not one I liked.

“Oh, uh, well I've been bored since they don't let me do anything right now, eel injuries and the like, yaknow, so you're kinda the only interesting thing here?”

I rolled my eyes, great, there had been comments he was a biology nerd or whatever but this guy sure was something else.

“You could at least ask, i don't really mind it all that much as long as you tell me what you're doing”

His eyes lit up and I felt like I had made a mistake as he seemed to try to not explode with energy.

“REALLY? Ohh thank you! Normally people tell me to fuck off! 

I've got so many questions now! Where to start?”

Well, my own fault really, and now the inside of my ear was itchy.

These guys really had something odd about them, maybe they were too long on the boat? Nemas had also seemed like a weird person.

Maybe staying away from land for so long made someone's brain fried?

They did spend a lot of time out in the sun after all.

But he looked so excited I didn't have the heart, err hearts, to tell him no.

“Okayy, before you conked out you said something about Jamie being safe? What did you mean by that? 

Oh also Jamie is fine, no divers sickness, just grumpy as usual”

Well, of course that's what would be asked first, but good to know Jamie was okay, at least something had gone right in all that chaos.

“Well, as you can probably tell i'm a half elf hybrid, though at this point i'm not entirely sure anymore if the other half is actually human?

Whatever,  The point is I'm a weird bastard with even weirder anatomy to match.

Basically I've got some of my organs doubled, like my heart as you know, but also my stomach, though the second one doesn't work and I can just, put things in there? Like a built in pocket i guess”

His eyes literally sparkled at the information.

“So you just have extra organs? That's so cool! 

Though if you were a bird that extra stomach would probably be a crop? Maybe? Whatever, what else is doubled? 

And how do you know where to send stuff? 

What if you send it the wrong way? 

Did that ever happen?

What's the biggest thing you put in there? 

Don't tell me it was Jamie! They would get so pissed! 

Or maybe not? Jamie is kinda tiny so no idea.

How much space does it even have anyway?

Ohhh wait wait wait, if it really is safe would it be possible for me to take a look? 

No wait forget the last question, Imik would murder me”

Well, that sure was one wall of text, also the only thing he was concerned about was Imik kicking his ass and not getting eaten?

Yep, these guys must have SOME sort of brain damage.

I just looked incredulously at him.

“Could you maybe just ask one question at once? I already forgot the first one!

As for what else is doubled, that would be my kidneys,  got four of em, well three now, DON'T ask about that.

And I guess it happened a few times that I've sent things the wrong way? I did have to practice at first.

The biggest thing i ever put in there was uhh-”

Well, technically Rikaad, or Fable, one was Bulky the other lanky so no idea, but i sure wasn't about to tell him that.

“-well not sure really, but bigger than Jamie for sure.

Also do you have self preservation? Nobody in their right mind would ask to get eaten on the mere assurance of a stranger that it is safe!”

Ronan however didn't seem to be deterred any,  He was standing there and doing a flapping motion with his hands.

Guy got excited to the point where he had to physically move huh?

And pacing on the boat got probably boring real fast,  not to mention i took up most of the deck right now.

I know, I know! It's just that, well, i'm seen as a freak and considering i'm not a medic nobody really lets me poke at stuff!

But I just want to know things! Like, like texture, size, how does each and every individual differ? 

Are the drawings in the medicinal books even accurate? 

What if they're suddenly wrong for someone? 

And some operation gets botched?

I WOULD share all the things i found out! For free! Wouldn't it be great to have a reliable source for anatomy things?”

Well, hard to disagree with that,  Also this was probably the happiest I'd seen the guy.

I was painfully reminded of Robin,  who probably was still looking out to the ocean to search for me.

I shook my head, moping wouldn't help anyone and as much as i wanted to be home already i really couldn't rush them.

They were already helping me, I couldn't demand from them to go faster.

“You know what? Fine! But you have to tell the other guys! 

I don't want to get stabbed or whatever”

Ronan nodded so fast that I wondered how he didn't get dizzy.

“REALLY?! Ohh thank you! I know the request is strange as fuck! 

I'll go get my stuff and tell Akeem what I'm doing! 

He won't let anyone get angry at you!”

Yeah Akeem seemed competent, a good choice.

“Yeah yeah,  see it as a thank you gift for dragging my sorry ass closer to home!”

Ronan just gave a thumbs up and ran towards the door that led into the ship, nearly slamming face first into it.

Well, I told him I'd let him, so no take backs now.

But I sincerely doubted the guy meant harm, but if he brought anything sharp with him he'd have to leave it on the deck!

Probably better to inspect every item as well, just to be sure.

On the way back to the deck he walked right into the door.

Akeem appeared behind him and just picked him by the scruff like a misbehaving dog.

The glass man was still the weirdest here, at least to me.

Akeem put Ronan down in front of me and then went to distract Imugi.

Smart move, who knew how she'd react to me eating her,  uh, owner? Friend? The guy that found her as a baby.

Looked like I was really doing this huh?

Well, Ronan looked so excited, and had brought a weird rock with him?

“What's the rock for?”

The thing looked to be weirdly bumpy and was a boring color.

“This? Oh it glows in the dark! I think it has to do with minerals!”

Oh so like the glowing crystal Oakley had! But less magic.

“Huh, sounds useful”

Ronan nodded and held the rock up, which didn't show anything as it was day and no clouds were in the sky.

“It is! I use it to read sometimes! Better than a candle! Now uh, do I need to do anything? 

I'm only bringing the rock as paper would just get soggy”

Yeah paper would be useless, and he didn't look like he had anything aside from the rock on him.

“Uh, take off your shoes? Don't wanna know what you stepped in,  also they'd get a bit slimy as well”

Ronan nodded and was quick to pull his shoes off,  tossing them against the door, and missing completely.

“Aight! Uhh, anything I should do now? Like, instructions?”

He did the flappy thing with his hands again,  though this time he was also clutching the rock.

“Um… just keep calm? That's really all,  as long as you don't freak out it'll be fine”

There really wasn't much to say to it, besides,  as much as i didn't like it i was the one in control, sorta at least.

“Okay! I'll just cross my arms? I guess?”

He awkwardly crossed his arms and fumbled with the rock in his hands.

“Yeah sure, that works, now you sure you want to do this? 

Last chance to back out”

“No way! It's not everyday I get to see the anatomy of a living being so close! Also I don't mind getting soggy,  I basically live on the ocean so whatever!”

True, to both of those, though I doubted he'd see much as my innards were not see through at all.

“Okay, then brace yourself I guess?”

He nodded and held the rock tightly, drumming over it with his fingers.

Seemed the injuries from the eels weren't that bad in the end, 

though I'd still do my best to be careful.

So with that thought in mind I slowly opened my mouth and carefully brought him inside, his top half laying on my tongue.

There were still bandages, what a dumbass.

Why even do this if he was still injured?

well curiosity and all that probably.

Since there was no protest I drew him in further, upon which he immediately started poking at my teeth and gums,  completely forgetting that he was told to stay still.

Curious little idiot, well as long as he didn't cut himself on my teeth it was fine, if a bit distracting.

He'd get bored of it soon enough. 

Or not, as he had been examining each tooth individually. 

"Hey did you know that you have another pair of canine teeth ready to grow in place of your current ones?"

What? Was that why He'd been poking at my palate?

Also I couldn't respond with him in my mouth. 

So I leaned forward and let him slide out of my mouth. 

He didn't say anything against it but I could tell he was still a bit disappointed. 

"What? Are you a dentist now or something?"

ANOTHER set of sharp teeth? Really?

Ronan shook his head to the question. 

"Biologist more like, but uuh, yeah? You really didn't know that? What?”

I let my head flop onto the deck, no I had not.

Though, Fables one off comment about me having baby teeth suddenly made a lot more sense.

“Nope, though now i'm sure my halfbrother knew, should have asked what the fuck he meant”

Ronan tried to suppress a grin, failed, and then started laughing loudly.

“Your brother knew but you didn't?! How did that happen?” He laughed some more and I decided to poke him carefully with a claw, which caused him to laugh more.

Ticklish huh?

“Well, as a bastard there's some funky stuff going on! The hell you think I know? Can't exactly dissect myself can i?”

I rolled my eyes at him, at least one of us found it amusing.

Meanwhile he had grabbed my paw and was examining the claws it was tipped with.

“I guess, also if you're alive it's called vivisection and not dissection, that's for dead stuff! Hey do your claws extend? Ya know, like cats?”

There was a difference between those things? Also claws extend? Uhh

Hadn't really done that consciously before, eh, couldn't be that hard.

I tried flexing my fingers and the claws indeed popped out even more.

They were the size of Ronan's Torso.

I immediately took them back, with the way Ronan was fidgeting that was just an accident waiting to happen.

“Ohh you really can! Wait, show me again! I want to measure them! They're, like, at least three feet long! And they had a groove on the bottom! I bet you can dig well with them!”

A groove on the underside? For digging? 

Yeah made sense for the Ardua.

He prodded and poked to get me to do it again,  but out of the corner of my eye I saw Akeem shake his head.

Fair, so far all Ronan had been very accident prone,  better not tempt fate.

“Eh i'd rather not, i feel like Akeem would shove me overboard or something, not keen on having another saltwater bath”

Ronan shrugged.

“I doubt he'd actually do anything! Aside from his trademark disappointing glare! But fine, can I look at the plants on your back? 

I want to know how the fuck they grow there!”

Good question actually,  as far as i knew i was still made of flesh as an Ardua.

“Yeah sure, if you find out tell me”

Since I was already laying on the wooden floor I didn't have to move, there wasn't really enough space anyway.

Ronan however did have to move, which he did and immediately climbed on my back, pulling a magnifying glass from who knew where.

This order of examination was probably better than his original plan anyway, I really was not too keen on eating two people in one day.

Though he'd probably insist again later anyway.

Though i would not mention anything till then.

While I couldn't see what the bandaged man was doing I could feel it, was he looking at each plant individually? 

That was going to take a long ass time.

“Donovan? I have to say this does not make sense! At all! 

They grow from you like hair! But i can't see the roots,  if they even have them,  so no idea how they actually grow from your skin”

Well, yeah, only looking at the part outside of my skin was not going to show much, duh.

Though, my own curiosity had been peaked now.

“Rip one out and look again”

Couldn't be worse than ripping out a hair right?

Ronan froze.

“You sure? No idea if and how much thats gonna hurt”

“Yeah, do it, i'm kinda curious now too so you better tell me what you find out”

“Okay, I'll take a smaller one! three, two, one!”

He yanked and it felt only a little bit worse than ripping out a particularly big hair, so pretty tame really.

“THEY DO HAVE ROOTS! What the fuck! 

This does not make ANY sense!”

They did? What the hell?

And now Ronan was examining the place where he had torn the plant out in detail.

“Okay i can't really see anything, also you're bleeding a little bit sorry!

Wait, is that a scar? How long is it?”

Aaand now he was scrambling to find out what the scar looked like.

Though there was no doubt which one it was.

“Oh yeah, that one, someone threw a sword at me, which is the wrong weapon to do that really”

Ronan fell off my back, landing with a thump on the deck.

“Someone THREW a SWORD at you? What? 

Well now I gotta know that story!”

Of course, though the story was rather boring.

“Not much to say really, bastard half elf walking the streets and some drunk guard decides to do his job i guess, and failed”

“Ohh right, you're from a Kingdom with a fuckton of weird laws and the like! Hey, have you got any more cool stories?”

Before I could answer, Imik walked outside with a new bunch of sandwiches, Jamie in tow, who was heckling him and trying to swipe at his heels with their clawed feet.

“Heyo! It's midday! Ronan, you can bother Donovan later again! Speaking of! Donovan, you want something to eat too?”

If it lets me avoid putting Ronan into my mouth again, sure.

Also i could hear Jamie muttering something unflattering about me,  well, already having eaten them.

They didn't really seem angry though, more annoyed.

“Uh yeah sure, let me shift first though”

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

[chesthighwater]

sidenote i just finished return of the obra dinn and am feeling a little insane. random bits from my playthrough (AND SPOILERS) under the cut.

no seriously you all know i'm very pro-spoilers that is my ideology but this is one of the rare pieces of media where even i say "yeah no you have to go in blind". so. if you think you might want to play it, go do that now.

OKAY ANYWAY

maba was one of the very first people i identified (after the captain-abigail-hoscut tutorial trio) via his tattoos [so i also avoided the whole "where's my frenchman" misdirection that got a lot of people] and so i developed a sort of camaraderie towards him for no reason. like, i'd walk into some absolute carnage, no idea who anyone is, trying to find my footing, and then i'd see him and be like "HEY THERE'S MABA! THERE'S MY GUY!". a friendly face in a sea of strangers. thank you maba my early game anchor.

brennan took me way longer than he should have- i had him pinned as someone else via accent due to a misattributed voiceline- but like everyone else i too felt very smart when i noticed his shot in the execution scene. good call on the game's part for not tackling the uh Philosophical Implications of firing squads.

THE MIDSHIPMEN. GOD. thomas is my favourite, obviously. regarding peter's death, i initially just assumed he missed/misjudged the powder throw due to being in an adrenaline fight or flight "OH GOD OH GOD GET IT OFF ME" situation. like, he was hoping to aim it lower, or elsewhere in hopes of injuring the kraken and getting it to let go, and just missed. if you've ever been in a near death Must React Fast situation you know it's not exactly rational thinking and precise flawless action you just do the thing. but then i read a theory that he lit the powder before he was grabbed, and then he forgot about it (on account of actively being grabbed), and by the time thomas noticed the lit powder it was too late. i quite like that interpretation. anyway, why is no one making them gay? must i do everything myself?

oh also! thank fuck for the glossary because i am Not an age of sail person. i think i have like... below average knowledge of ships. i stepped onto the deck like "hmm what the fuck is a bostun". why did anyone hire me for this investigation. i'd have to spend significantly more time googling if i didn't have the option to flip through the book every time i realise i don't know what a purser is. i'd really love to play this game with someone who actually knows their shit, it would be fascinating hearing how someone well-versed in the subject interprets the little details.

of course i also went through the initial "how the fuck am i supposed to figure any of this out" hitch, but once i got the right gameflow down it was a BREEZE. so incredibly fun. what i did was essentially decide on someone i want to figure out, bookmark all their memories, and just go through them in order observing that person, who they're with and what they're doing... those mini personal investigations were the most fun part for me.

immediate post-game heartache, by the way. as soon as i finished i thought "man, i wish this game was procedurally generated so i could replay it" IMMEDIATELY followed by "no, with the amount of attention to detail? impossible. this is a piece of art. handcrafted. an Experience. man i wish i could go back in time so i can replay it"

i had time to flip through some of the localisations as well and they were shockingly good (with only very minor inaccuracies that i noticed), and i know for a fact that that was no easy task. even beyond that, any gripes i have with this game are EXTREMELY minor. nitpicky. i'm not even gonna say them they're that insignificant. it's just an excellent game.

also i never noticed the mermaids have Three Pairs Of Boobs until i read the wiki

anyway. people i accidentally guessed correctly: peters brothers, two of the four chinese topmen (actually figured out the shoes trick for the other two!), george shirley. people i identified wrongly for way too long: brennan, martin, olus wiater, nicholas botterel (?sp). most fun had: when reconstructing an individual person's journey through all the memories they appear in. figuring out where they went and when and how and why they got there.

in conclusion talk to me about this game if you also played it okay i love you bye

[kahluah]

Bro, the original storyboard are still up. Chelsea being Nerissa was a last minute change , which is why the twist doesn't make much sense. If you watch directors interviews you'll find that they intended Chelsea to be a Regina George mean-girl. Also they describe the twist as fun lmao.

Look, I understand there are storyboards. I also understand that stories can change while they are in production. I'm not doubting the storyboards exist and that an initial draft of the movie at some point had them as two characters.

There are interviews where they discuss how the story was still open for input, so, you know, suggestions, changes, alterations, all that good work currently in production stuff, when the studio opened back up with the hybrid set up about half way through the development. Just because some of the storyboards in the beginning had something does not mean it will always be there in the final product. Things change. "You'll find they intended Chelsea to be a Regina George mean-girl" fine, but it obviously didn't stay that way. And, as I've said before, there is enough information in the movie for the reveal to be guessable. I'll say once again, I figured it out when "plan get the Trident" was suggested by Chelsea. I'm sorry if you feel it makes no sense, but like I've talked to multiple people that were able to predict the twist so idk what to tell you there.

But, I am also just dubious of how you guys keep pushing this whole "last minute" change thing. In the storyboards I saw, even as separate people, Chelsea is still evil and turning into a giant fucking mermaid to enact revenge. Other than the name of the character, and a portion of her motivation being that she was avenging her mom (with the whole other bit still being the whole "becoming ruler of the ocean and taking over everything" thing), the overall reason for the end fight is the same. Chelsea would have still been manipulating Ruby for that goal of getting the Trident, killing the krakens, and becoming Queen herself. The only thing that would really truly change with these storyboards is her age, so to me it sounds like this "it's a last minute storyboard change that makes no sense!" is some form of excuse/denial so that people feel alright to ship them again and write good end fix it fics.

Also to be a bit more snarky here...

If you watch the directors interviews, you'll find that they say that Ruby is a character "stuck between really strong women; amazingly strong women... and a lot of people have a lot of ideas about how she should be living her life, and this journey she goes on is figuring out how she wants to... because her heart's in the right place in every frame of the film; she has no ulterior motive, and she's so empathetic to her friends and everyone around her. I think that was really the sweet spot that we, working with the animators and with Lana - You know we love that you're doing that because that was really the goal in an idea about this coming of age story." Gee that kind of sounds like what I've been saying this movie is about; her relationship with these women. Multiple other interviews also put emphasis on the relationship between Ruby and her mom, Her mom and Grand Mama, Ruby and Grand Mama, Ruby and Chelsea. You know, the people I've mentioned in my other posts. It's clear that by the time production was wrapping up that this was the direction and intention of the movie.

To be fair I've also seen where they describe Chelsea as a Regina George type mean girl, and it really fits the high schooler vibe she has going on, but it's clear that not all of that stayed through till the end of production.

I can also imagine a version or original idea for this movie being one where the kraken family and the mermaid family were supposed to be foils of each other, but to be fully fleshed out we would have needed more world building and the plot would have had more focus on the war itself since that would have been the ideal point to sure how these two families diverged from each other. They would both have the starting point of the end of the war, and a broken relationship between mother and daughter (one because the mother was killed and the other because Agatha left). But from the multiple interviews I've seen where they wanted the focus of the movie to be on Ruby herself and how she interacts with the other women in her life during this coming of age story, that plot wouldn't do it justice. There is too much background information that you would have to supply to showcase both sides of the story and Ruby's personal journey would suffer for it.

When talking about production of the film, multiple interviews also talk about how they developed the feel for land/the town vs under the water, the humans vs the sea creature, and some of the actual character design elements like Nerissa's water hair. I haven't seen one where they talk about the lore of the war and how they fleshed out how the under the sea politics work and how those were a super important part of developing the story and production direction of the movie... At this point who knows how much of that they had ideas for, we would have to wait for more storyboards or an art book, but my point is that it isn't what they wanted the focus of the end product to be about.

Those storyboards were ultimately changed and by combining Chelsea with Nerissa and having her be an adult, it tightened up the core of the movie being Ruby and her relationships with women in her life (since one was no longer a peer). The story of Ruby growing into her own was able to have the sole spotlight rather than having to split it between two different family stories.

A lot of people who work on and promote things in interviews will describe it as fun. It is a very easy way to get across "I enjoy and approve of this thing we did". What do you want them to do? Break the flow of the interview and take up all the remaining time by explaining in exacting detail when and why the change happened during the development, and their exact thought process in doing it, and who exactly suggested it, and who supported it, and how much of the story that they had at that point in time of production was changed by it? Like I'll admit I'm curious to when it changed, but when I'm watching a 10-20 minute interview on YouTube I would rather they cover more than just one little thing.

[jellydishes]

JELLYYYYYYYY my friend my pal my brother in bite, I SEEN YA REBLOG and now I am HERE to get UP in your BUSINESS with QUESTIONs about your OCS who are ALSO MY BELOVEDS. (please)

I can't resist asking 7 and 18 about Edyiss my darling For Tsurin I absolutely need 16 and 23 And for Sorrow (asking for Tank and myself): 5, 20, and 21 And because I am perpetually curious about your marvellous creations, I'm enclosing a free space where you can pick a question you've been dying to be asked about the OC of your choice. THANK YOU I AM ENCLOSING BITE 8D

oh man you have released the kraken of ranting about characters lmao

now!! as for ed, i would bounce these questions back at the actual owner of edyiss, @pen99, but as far as my INTERPRETATIONS of edyiss hawke go for the purposes of my stories featuring her!

number 7, What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?: edyiss has more or less remained consistent since i started writing her, though she's definitely more self aware than the rough framework my initial studies for the first story would've indicated! she just doesn't like making a big deal out of it or actually changing because of it :v

number 18, Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?: edyiss is a fascinating mix of both depending on context and how pissed off she is, but in general i would say she'd more up close and personal in terms of her emotional/internal reactions, while often SEEMING cold and detached

tsurin tabris!

number 16, What is your OC's pain tolerance like?: medium, as least based from the perspective of some body who regularly suffers through migraines! i think she would be much better at handling sudden and short term pain rather than chronic issues tbh, it would fuck with her intensely, which is why the lingering issues from her burn scars after fighting the archdemon are the WORST for her

number 23, What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?: i would say the hardest emotion for tsurin to process is grief, she's been struggling with it since her mother died in her early teens and it sends spiderweb cracks out into basically most of if not everything she does, while the hardest for her to express around most people is genuine affection/trust. she only really knows how to do it around family she's known her whole life. shit's tough!!

sorrow cousland/shepard!!

number 5, How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?: in terms of what he thinks is strategically sound, VERY FAR. in mass effect he sacrificed the council for instance bc he thought it just made sense while in dragon age he sacrificed isolde! in terms of personal desires, he is far less willing to pursue THINGS he wants, but in terms of RELATIONSHIPS, he is pretty intense about pursuing somebody unless it's made obvious that his affections aren't wanted

number 20, Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?: sort of! he's polyamorous in name, but he does get insecure and grumpy/withdrawn if he feels his partner(s) aren't seeing to his emotional needs in favor of somebody else, and i can easily see him getting snippy if pressed because he doesn't! want to talk about it! it's FINE!!

number 21, Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?: aside from his stutter, sorrow has tremors in his hands due to chronic pain, which is one reason he has his weapons modified so he can't drop them! though the answer you're looking for is, "never talk about it ever at all to the point that some of his companions had no idea he had chronic pain at all for MONTHS"

aaaaand for the one question! i do in fact have a song i associate with tsurin tabris from WAY BACK