#i feel like pure love is also about her relationship with taylor

[chastainromanova]

Tayley + Paramore songs

hate to see your heart break (self titled album) / rose colored boy (after laughter) / pure love (petals for armor) / hayley’s pitchfork interview / hayley’s ig post 

[requiemforthepoets]

hii do you write for franco? if yes can i request a fic where reader is short and insecure about her height so she’s afraid their relationship won’t survive his “f1 career” cause of the lifestyle and all the girls he’s going to meet so despite really loving him she tries to breakup with him but he won’t let her?

tell me that you’re still mine, tell me that we’ll be just fine 𖦹 FC43

PAIRINGS: franco colapinto x female!reader

SUMMARY: when you found out that franco will be racing for williams racing, you were so proud of him. though at the back of your mind, you can’t help but overthink about your relationship with him now that he’s finally in f1.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: hi! thank you so much for sending your request. it’s my first time writing for franco, but i really had fun. i hope you’ll like this one and it’s up to what you were expecting. enjoy! :)

REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

WARNINGS: not proofread, typos, insecurities (mostly comparing self to others), cursing, low self esteem, overthinking, anxiety, and no use of y/n

As you stand in the Williams garage, you can clearly hear the hum of the whole circuit buzzing all around, and you can’t help but feel so proud. Franco had just achieved what he had been dreaming of since childhood—his first official race in Formula 1. It should have been one of the happiest moments of your life, watching him stand there, helmet in hand, chatting animatedly with the engineers, that wide grin plastered on his face. You knew how hard he worked for this, how many nights you spent listening to his dreams, encouraging him through the frustrations of karting, and celebrating every win, every milestone. You were there through it all, and here he was now—your Franco, living his dream.

However, alongside the pride that you were feeling, a bitter feeling also crept in. It had been lurking at the back of your mind for days now, only growing stronger with each passing moment. It was not about Franco’s career, but more about where you fit into his new world. The glitz and glamor, cameras that seemed to follow every move, the polished and perfect people that surrounded him—people you had never imagined yourself fitting in with.

Lily, Alex’s girlfriend, had been nothing but sweet to you all weekend. You bonded with her quickly, her kind words and warmth is a welcoming comfort amidst the chaos. Yet, as much as you liked her, being around someone so gorgeous and effortlessly poised had only made you feel even smaller. You weren’t tall or glamorous like her or the other WAGs, nor were you used to the attention, and you barely have a successful career. You were just…you. A university student trying to get by through her classes, someone who barely knew what to do when a camera pointed your way, and someone who couldn’t help but wonder if you were truly cut out for this kind of life.

When Franco finally made his way back to you, you could hardly breathe. He greeted you with that same wide smile and a soft tender kiss on the lips, his eyes still sparkling from the thrill of the race.

“Can you believe it?” He laughed, pulling you into a hug. “I can’t believe I just raced in F1. This is really insane.”

You smiled weakly, arms wrapped around him. Trying to steady your racing heart. “I’m so proud of you,” you murmured against his chest. But the words felt heavy, there was something you needed to say, something you dreaded.

After the media frenzy died down and the team began to clear out, you knew it was time. You asked Franco if the two of you can go to his driver’s room, away from the lights, cameras, and the noise. He nodded and led you towards his driver’s room, completely oblivious to the storm brewing inside of you.

When you reached his driver’s room, he locked the room to give you two some privacy. Franco quickly sensed that something was off with you, immediately frowning.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, as your hands shook as you fumbled with the words. “Franco…I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?” His voice is gentle but confused.

“This. All of this.” You gestured around vaguely. “I don’t belong in this kind of world. I don’t look like the other girls in this kind environment, I don’t act like them. I just feel like…I’m not cut out for this, you know. For you.”

He blinked at you, and then—he laughed. A soft incredulous sound that only made your chest tighten. “You’re joking, right?” But you just shook your head, throat tightening painfully. “I’m serious, Franco.”

His smile faltered, eyes searching your face, and then he grew serious. “You’re breaking up with me?” He sounded like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing at all.

You bit your lip, feeling your resolve crack under the weight of his words. “I think I have to.”

Franco stepped closer, shaking his head in disbelief. “No. No way. Hell no. You’re not doing this.” He grabbed your hands, holding them tightly. “Tell me why. What’s really going on?”

You stared at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. How could you even tell him? How could you put into words the overwhelming insecurities that you had been drowning in.

“I’m not enough for this life, for your life,” you whispered, voice barely audible. “I’m just…me. You deserve someone who can handle all of this, someone who doesn’t feel like they are drowning every time the cameras turn their way. I’m scared that this will change us, that it will change you.”

Franco squeezed your hands tighter, forcing you to look at him. “You’re scared?” He asked softly. “Of what exactly? That I’ll stop loving you because I’m in F1 now?”

You nodded, chest tightening as tears began to fill your eyes. “I’m not like them, Franco. I don’t belong here.”

He pulled you into his arms, resting his chin on top of your head. “Listen to me, and you listen well,” he whispered. “You’ve been with me through everything, literally everything. Since my karting days. You’re the one I want with me, not some random model, not someone from this kind of environment. You.” He gently cupped your face, making sure that you were looking directly into his eyes. “I’m not breaking up with you. Not because of this, not because of anything. I love you so much. If this life makes you uncomfortable, we’ll figure it out. Together.”

You shook your head, still overwhelmed with doubts. “But I don’t know how to—”

“I don’t care,” he interrupted softly. “I don’t really care about any of that. All I care about is you. I’m not losing you just because you think that you’re not enough. You’ve always been more than enough for me.”

Tears finally spilled over, and Franco wiped them away with his thumb. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, okay?” He added.

You let out a choked laugh, burying your face in his chest. “Okay,” you whispered, feeling the weight of your fears slowly start to lift.

Franco kissed the top of your head as he kept you close, his voice soft but firm. “Look at me,” he said, lifting your chin so your eyes met his. “There’s no one else I see in my future but you. No one else who matters like you do. I don’t care about the noise or what other people say. Let them talk all they want, I don’t give a shit. You’re the most important person in my life.”

His words wrapped around you like a warm blanket chasing away the chill of insecurity. You couldn’t help the way your heart fluttered, how much you wanted to believe him. “But people will judge, Franco. They already are.”

Franco shook his head, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “I don’t care about them. They don’t know you like I do. I’ve seen you at your best and your worst, and I’ve loved you through it all. That’s what matters, not their opinions.”

You bit your lip, trying to push away the lingering doubts. “It’s just I don’t want to hold you back. You deserve someone who—”

“I already have someone I deserve,” he cut you off, voice unwavering. “You’ve been there for me through everything, you believed in me when no one else did, even when I wasn’t sure I believed in myself. I’m not letting you go because of some stupid insecurities about fitting in with this world. I don’t need someone from this world. All I need is you.”

Tears welled in your eyes again, but this time they weren’t from doubt or fear. They were from the overwhelming love you felt at that moment. “You��re sure?” You whispered, voice trembling. “You’re really sure?”

Franco smiled, the kind of smile that made everything else melt away. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. You’re my future, not them. Not anything else. Just you.”

As you stood there in his arms, you let yourself believe it. Because the way he looked at you, the way he spoke, it left no room for any doubts. You were the one he wanted, and that was enough.

After a long moment of silence, just feeling the comfort of being in his arms, you finally pulled back, wiping the last of your tears and giving him a small and sweet smile. The tension that had been weighing on you had lifted, already been replaced by the familiar warmth you always felt around Franco.

You wrinkled your nose playfully, trying to lighten the mood. “Okay, as sweet as this moment is, you really need to freshen up. You stink.” You teased, giving him a playful nudge.

Franco let out a laugh, the sound light and easy. “What? No way, I smell like pure victory,” he grinned, pulling you back into his arms, purposely trying to rub his post-race sweat on you.

“Franco!” You squealed, trying to push him away. “Ew, Franco! You’re all sweaty!”

He laughed harder, his arms tightening around you for a second before he finally let you go, raising his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright, I’ll go and freshen up,” he said, his grin still wide. “But don’t think I didn’t notice how you were crying on me. If anything, you owe me for that.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “Fine, fine. I’ll owe you. Just go clean up before I regret taking you back,” you teased, earning an exaggerated gasp from him.

Franco winked at you before heading off to freshen up, not forgetting to steal a kiss from you. “Don’t go anywhere, I’ve got plans for us to celebrate.” He threw a playful look over his shoulder.

You shook your head with a laugh, feeling lighter than you had in days. The doubts that once felt overwhelming now seemed small in comparison to the love you shared. Franco was right—together, you could figure out everything, just like how you both always do.

[candiehearts]

“I’m gonna get you back.”

Paring: Ex BF Logan Howlett x F!Reader

Summary: The thing about love is that it’s blinding. You never realize how poisonous it is until it’s already stuck its fangs into you.

Logan Howlett was the embodiment of everything you’ve ever loved. And you were the air that the man breathed. But hurt people hurt people.

Everyone knew how much pain you two cause each other, but everyone also knew how much the two of you needed each other — even when you two couldn’t see your future. You would always come back to one another.

Warnings: Toxic Relationships, mentions of death.

Taglist: Just ask to be added.

A/N: Inspired by Taylor Swift — “Imgonnagetyouback”

I could hear the engine of the bike pulling into the school. It could be only one person, the man that stole Scott’s bike, and my heart.

I saw Rouge jump up out of her spot on the couch and run to the door, greeting the man that walked through like he owned the place.

Logan fucking Howlett.

I had told myself that I hated him, that I was over him — but the ache in my chest told me all I needed to know. I had still loved him.

I watched the man leave the X-Men basement, the Wolverine. It was remarkable that he was still alive according to Scott.

“Hey solider.” His attention snapped to me and away from the kids running down the stairs. He took a step to me, looking ready to snap my neck but I just held my hands up in surrender.

“Follow me. I’ll take you to the boss of this place.” I dropped my hands, and waited for him to give the okay. “Who are you.”

“I’m Y/N. You?” I already knew his name, but it was still nice to hear him say it. “Logan.”

I snapped out of my day dream, and hurried to get out of the common area before he decided to make his way over.

“Get to the jet, new mission.”

The professors voice drifted inside my brain, and I was so glad I would be gone while Logan was here.

Rushing down to the basement I hurried into my suit, and walked onto the jet only to be met with the same man I was wanting to avoid.

I kept my gaze to the ground and silently clicked my self in. Not looking his — knowing it would hurt to much.

Jean and Scott loaded onto the jet too, and while they gave us a brief run down on the mission I zoned out, reliving the past.

“I just don’t think he likes me like that. I mean I’ve dropped hints after hints.” I explained to Ororo and Jean. I was doing on of my many rants about Logan. I had come to grow affectionate of him and the despite them trying to encourage my delusions, it wasn’t working.

At some point I just have to accept the facts. Fact is despite how much I wish it I just don’t see Logan Howlett liking me — instead I was convinced he liked Jean. Though I kept that part to myself.

“Why don’t you tell Logan how you feel?” Storm asked and I couldn’t help the sarcasm rolling out of my mouth.

“And what would I say? Hey Logan, I really really like you. Like in a very much romantic way and I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, and I can’t even talk to you without my brain turning into a fucking kebab because I’m probably fucking insane. Let’s grab dinner sometime.” 

I let out a sigh and felt a headache forming. Though that was washed away by the look of worry on Jean and Ororo faces. “Everything okay?”

“You what?” Pure dread washed over my body at the sound of the voice haunting my dreams. The deep rugged voice that always made me feel alive. I slowly looked over my shoulder to the wolverine.

And instead of being a big girl and dealing with my problems I bolted out of the kitchen and into the hall.

Hot on my heels Logan pulled my arm back and trapped me up against the hallway wall. “In a rush?” I had expected him to be upset, mad, or even regretful but instead all I saw on his face was amusement. “I must say I’m flattered.”

My breath hitched as he leaned his head down to the shell of my ear, whispering. “A pretty girl like you having feeling for me? Dream come true.” His breath fanned over my face — and I could feel my cheeks warming.

“So you’re not mad?” Hint of insecurity ran through my voice. “Quite the opposite. I like you too, pretty girl.”

A warmth spread through my chest — not just of relief but of a caring and calm feeling that felt so ever rushing.

“So wanna grab dinner sometime?”

A hand on my shoulder snapped me out of my day dream. Looking over the man who was the center of my thought stood there. He even had the audacity to smile at me. “We’re here.”

I unbuckled my seat, standing as fast as I could so I could get away from him. However that only made me dizzy and stumble — right into his arms.

“Easy there, pretty girl.” I started to push myself away but his grip on me tightened. And a look of seriousness washed over his face. “I missed you, you know?” I could have sworn uncertainty or more like insecurity wavers his voice. But I must’ve imagined it — after all Logan Howlett doesn’t do ‘this’.

I pushed away from his chest harder, “you walked away.” With that I brushed past him and made my way outside with the others.

“Looks like it’s really over this time.” Ororo voice washed through my head, and I looked over at her. “We weren’t ever right for each other.” Is all I told her — even if the words pained me to say it was the truth I’ve come to believe.

“Why are you with me when all you want is her?!” I asked, anger and hurt roughing my voice as tears fell down my cheeks.

“And why can’t you just drop it?!” I don’t know who started yelling first, but it’s been hours. Logan was calling out for Jean with such a loving voice in his sleep, it made me nauseous. He never held that much care for me in his voice — he never loved me like her.

“You’re not even denying it!” He wasn’t even trying to justify or explain it to me. He just expected me to roll over and forget about it like I was some dog.

He walked grabbed his jacket and walked to the door. “Where are you going?!” I asked him, it was late and I didn’t want him leaving the mansion. “Out, god I have to get away from you. I’m done with this. We’re done.”

We were in fact not done. He came back apologized the it happened all over again. Like a cycle on repeat. We’d have a nasty fight — break up, then it repeat. Until I finally had enough courage to end it completely, it really I guess Logan ended it, I just didn’t go after him.

“We should all split up. Find all the works, guards, and kids.” We were in a mutant trafficking ring. And even though this place appeared empty, we’d be sure to run into trouble at some point.

“Jean your with me, Ororo with Logan. Y/N you good on your own?” I gave Scott a confirming nod and we all went in different directions.

The halls were quiet too quiet. I could see, hear, or find another kid but as I walked further down I did hear ticking. It was faint but as i opened another door the ticking was louder and it was ten times faster.

Before I could scream all I heard was a loud bam as I focused my power on absorbing the energy of the bomb. Though just when I thought I had it under control a burning sensation filled my body inside out and I felt my self slam against a wall — blacking out.

Logan POV

We walked the only people we could find out side the base, meeting up with Scott and Jean. They found the kids and instead of a “mission accomplished” the two of them had a worried look on their face.

“Can any of y’all get in contact with Y/N.”

That was a sentence that changed my life. It was like a chain reaction. Cause right after that a big explosion came from the left side of the base.

Y/N.

I didn’t think nor wait before running right back I , right to the explosion, right to her.

Dammit I knew not to let her go off by herself. I know she didn’t want to talk to me, I know she was still mad at me — that’s why I let her go off. I should have trusted my instincts. I should have never left her, and not just this time.

The place was on fire, and I could see rubbles everywhere, but I couldn’t see her. I made my way over to the brunt of the explosion and I felt sick when I saw her laying there.

She was still so still, and I felt myself stubble to the ground. I brushed a strand of her hair out of her beautiful face — carful to be gentle.

“Y…Y/N?” I felt my breathing become irradiated as my voice broke. I could feel the tears began to form, but I swallowed whatever self pity I had, and picked her up.

“I got you, I got you honey. Come on — let’s go home, pretty girl.”

I walked over blacked rubble — and carried her out and onto the jet. Never letting go of her even when Jean was doing everything she can right stabilize her.

I wanted to tell her that I was home for good. That I’m better now — that I’m right for her. That I’m a good guy, the guy she deserves. 

I made do many mistakes, and all I want to do is make them right. So I can be with her. I know our relationship isn’t something you can immediately fix, but I want to fix it. And fuck I might no longer be able too.

Your POV

I watched, my vision blurred with tears as Logan put the last of the things he needed in his bag.

“Logan.” I hugged his back as he zipped up his bag. My voice trembled, and I bit my lip for a moment before continuing. “Please don’t go. I need you — I love you.” It was silent between us, and we stayed like that for an extra moment before he removed my hands and made his way out our bedroom door.

I followed after him, dread all throughout my body and soul. “Please don’t walk away.” I begged.

He opened the entrance door, and he stood still for a moment.

“If you walk out that door don’t expect me to just be waiting for you. You walk away and I won’t be here withering away waiting for you to return. This is the time to choose — if you want me, us.”

He didn’t say anything, he just walked out.

Beeping filled my ears, before I slowly opened my eyes. My mouth felt dry — and I tried to sit, only causing a wave of pain throughout my body.

“Might want to take it slow, Y/N.” I heard the professor say causing me to look over to him. I went to lift my hand — to rub the tiredness away, but I felt someone holding it.

I looked to my side to find Logan sleeping with his head on my bed, while he held my hand tightly.

The door opened and the entire team walked into the room, a smile across their faces. “You’re awake.” Scott pointed out the ever so obvious, while Jean checked my vitals and Ororo hugged me lightly.

I heard a deep groan coming from Logan before he started to wake himself up.

It took him a moment to process I was actually awake before he jumped up out his chair and started to become a worried mother.

“Are you okay? You in pain?” At the reminder of the pain I shifted uncomfortably. “You snore.” Is all I told him before I tried to get up.

“Lay back down, Y/N.” Doing as told I listened to the professor talk. “That explosion was to wipe out the entire base. You absorbed quite a bit of energy from that bomb, and when it became to much you essentially started to pop like ballon. You’re quite lucky to be alive.”

“Thanks professor.”

Just then everyone besides Logan started to leave the room, leaving just me and him. And all the complicated emotions.

“You scared me.” He was the first one to speak, his voice was quiet, trying to lead the conversation a gentle as possible. However nothing about us is gentle.

“Good.” It’s all I said, but I wanted to scream at him — about how scared I was when he crushed my heart.

“I’m sorry, god I’m so sorry. Not just for leaving, but for all the fights, the yelling, all of it. I didn’t treat you like you deserved, and I hate myself for it.” He breathed his shakily before continuing. “I’m not the most gentle man, I’m a solider, and I wish I could’ve been better for you sooner.”

I closed my eyes, not wanting him to see how much he had affected me. “You say ‘sooner’ as if you’re the good guy now.”

“I can be, I just need another chance.” Pleads entered his tone as he grabbed my hand again. “I love you, and I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I will be better — I am better now.”

I kept quiet not knowing what to say, and after a moment he spoke up again.

“I left so I could become a better man for you. Went on this whole journey, on why I am the way I am. On why I always need to fight, and can’t ever listen. You needed better, and baby I couldn’t give it to you the way I was. That’s why I left — and I didn’t tell you because I knew you would convince me you were happy as we were. But you weren’t.”

“I swear this to you. I’m gonna get you back, and when I do — I’ll be so fucking good. I’ll be the good guy.”

I looked over to him, and to my surprise his eyes were watering. And his lip trembled while he bit it.

“I can’t just give you another chance, when I have no idea if things between us will ever be good. I told you if you left me I wouldn’t wither away waiting for you, and then you walked out. I can’t just give you another chance.” Despite how much I want too.

He was quiet for a moment, as he kissed my forehead, and then kissed the back of my hand.

“I’ll prove to you that we’re meant for each other, I promise you Imma get you back.”

—

After you were finally healed you were welcomed back into your room with flowers waiting at your door, with it just a card with a note saying.

“I love you.”

And maybe, just maybe you and Logan were finally right for each other at the right time.

He went on to prove that for the rest of your life, he truly did become better. Everyone could see it.

—

Logan Howlett M.List, Navigation — other works!

A/N: I won’t lie — I had such a longer fic written about Logan’s and your journey on both of you becoming better, but it deleted. So this is the shortened version.

© CandieHearts

[kamotecue]

you make me crazier ꕥ a. russo

pairing: alessia russo x reader

summary: when the arsenal team gets invited to attend an international artist’s show, little did they know—one of their recent signings is secretly dating them. pop star!reader

you hummed playing with the strings of your guitar, a habit you always had ever since you were a child. currently, sound check was going on and you were waiting for the lucky ones, the arsenal women’s team—you’re a fan of football.

you noticed your manager who was monitoring you with a few of your tour staff. a small chuckle escaped your lips when you saw the way your manager looked at her watch frantically.

“it seems like the arsenal women’s team has arrived.” jenny said, as you hummed—giving her a small nod. as she scurried to greet them.

you strummed the strings of the guitar playing one of your favorite songs, crazier by taylor swift. not knowing that the team had entered already, nor how your favorite person watched with a small smile on her face.

“you lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around.” you sang as you thought about the time where you agreed to be alessia’s girlfriend. the wide smile she had, it was something you had fallen for.

“would you be mine, y/n?” alessia asked, as you gave her a shy soft smile. you gave her a nod, as she lifted you up from the ground—gently spinning you around in happiness.

“you make me crazier, crazier. feels like i’m falling and i—i’m lost in your eyes.” you opened your eyes, as you noticed the team watching you with a smile, some looked starstrucked, and some admired the way you sang. but one—was totally in love with you, and they didn’t know that.

“you make me crazier, crazier—crazier.” you stood up before giving them a small bow, as they had clapped when the song had ended. jenny giving you a knowing look, as she knew about the private relationship.

of course, she knew—your childhood bestfriend turned manager. a chaotic bunch the two of you were.

“did you guys like it?” you asked, giving a small hum. as leah, the team’s co-captain gave you a nod. alessia watched as you came closer, greeting the team.

the sound check was exactly how you wanted it to be, the team enjoyed it. but it’s not over yet, is it? there’s still the actual concert, the team had the closest view to you—as they had the front row.

the set list was simple, you were playing the second album you released—it truly was a hit. you watched as the crowd cheered the loudest, but you kept your eyes on a certain blonde.

it was the way her eyes shined when she watched you sang. the way she’d look at you with pure adoration, and would get a bit teary eyed as she acknowledges what you accomplished and is proud to have you as her lover.

when the last song ended, you stood up—the tour staff quickly entering the stage to grab your guitar, and other things.

“that was a great show, london. i’m glad to have come out here for my tour, and i really can’t wait to come back.” you said, as the crowd cheered. you blew a kiss, as you entered the backstage—knowing that the arsenal team already had passes.

henry, your bodyguard let the team pass as they waited outside of your dressing room. chatter was heard, as the door swung open—revealing you in a simple white long sleeved polo shirt, black pleated wide leg dressy trousers, white trainers and plaid pattern argyle print pocket v-sweater.

“hi, i’m y/n.” you softly said, as the team chuckled at your awkwardness—even jenny gave you a pointed look, snickering at you.

you chatted with the whole team, not minding how you held onto alessia’s pinky—it was covered by a jacket she had placed over her leg.

a simple post is what broke the internet, it also had the arsenal group chat blowing up.

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧ ┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧

pretend you’re the one alessia is hugging. an iconic photo this is.

liked by alessiarusso99, katie_mccabe11, leahwilliamsonn, and 12,253,042 others.

y/nl/n23: as a queen once said, you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. @alessiarusso99

⤷ alessiarusso99: likewise, love. you’re the best thing that’s ever been mine as well.

leahwilliamsonn: can’t believe you didn’t tell us, less.

⤷ alessiarusso99: sorry, cap. at least you know now

name1: no way, an arsenal and y/n l/n crossover.

name2: breaking the internet like it’s preath.

[titaswrld]

gryffindor characters modern! AU

according to me….

description: silly modern! AU head canons of the main gryffindor characters :)

pairing: harry, ron, fred, george, ginny and hermione x reader

contains: mentions of substances, alcohol and weed. mentions sexual acts (i think…)

|an: bored and decided i’d made something a little silly. literally just my thoughts lolll don’t take this too seriously

modern AU! harry potter who…

— definitely has a flip phone and refuses to be on any form of social media bc he thinks it’s awful for you

— i think being around his friends who do have social media would give him the spiel on most things tho

— oh he loveeesss house of dragon omg

— only listens to 70s 80s 90s music and some jazz tbh

— i feel like he’s just very old fashioned and he’s happy that way

— such a loving and caring bf since he’s hardly ever even touched the internet he’s pure lol

— def a lil goofball he’d say a little slang term the twins taught him and repeat it back to you…”harry who taught you that…”

— don’t ask him to do no substances i think he’d be kinda against them..not a smoker…occasional drinker.

modern AU! ron weasley who…

— is a stoner! thru and thru. i think he’s a bong rip typa fellow but a blunt or a joint would do it too. doesn’t strike me as a cart of eddie guy.

— big female rap supporter imo…def into latto and maybe dabbles into some meg that’s his girlll lol

— definitely a twea/seltzer guy oml cannot take shots is my hc

— heavy on the lowk himbo boyfriend

— not stupid at all but not super street smart i fear, more of a book smart type of guy.

— super cute and adorable bf overall, he’s a big boy. for sure.

—armmmmssss…. gymrat imo he loves to blow off steam at the gym

—i feel like isn’t a social media person as well…has an insta but doesn’t post on it nor have a lot of followers..no tiktok maybe twitter

—luv him but he was def on drakes side of the beef…definitely a champagne papi

—kinda a video game nerd imo but he’s definitely into the sports ones like FIFA

— buys you n him the crumbl cookie lineup every week and you review them tg in the car pretending to be those tiktok crumbl reviewers😭🫶 (he’s so cute)

modern AU! hermione granger who…

— is 100% on booktok

— do not ask her about the summer i turned pretty or bridgerton unless you wanna listen to her talk for hours.

— don’t play with her and noah kahan…

—or taylor swift

— or chappell roan..

—she’ll have a cute little mixed drink or perhaps a seltzer but do not give this girl no shots she don’t want none!

— her and colleen hoover….

— brings her digital camera everywhere and is most def the camera girl friend….”hermione pls send me the pics from last night”

modern AU! ginny weasley who...

— does not play about female wnba players at all.

— don’t even mention paige bueckers…that’s her girl.

— is a party animal just like her brother.

— loves her chappell roan too.

— always on social media u cannot get this girl off her phone. she’s like an ipad kid u couldn’t rip it out of her cold head hands.

— such a good girlfriend, definitely so protective over her s/o, especially on social media.

— “ginny why’d you respond to every comment under my post complimenting me with ‘& she/he mine..so’…”

modern AU! fred weasley who…

— definitely asks u “english or spanish?”

—definitely goes to too many parties…like at a function every weekend he loves the party scene.

—treats his girl RIGHTT i would compare the relationship to don toliver and kali uchis, flowers all the time, handsy. posting/supporting his girl allll the time

—“i❤️mygf” typa fellow, all his posts on socials are her! all his stories, his highlights and his posts.

— also a weed demon, doesn’t strike me as a beer or seltzer guy but ooooo that liqah….

— dress to impress demon. his gf definitely got him to play it and he got hooked and now he’s a fashion maven.

modern AU! george weasley who…

— is every girls dream man…im talking flowers, boo baskets, burr baskets, easter baskets, omg you say the word and he’s massaging your feet and feeding you grapes.

— always posting his girl just like his brother she’s on his absolutely everything and he has a highlight for her.

— type of guy to post those tiktoks of his girl on his account appreciating her all the time and the comments are like “omg on his account too!” and it’s so cute and adorable.

—isn’t much of a party guy like his brother…will go to a few but i feel like it’s not his thing at all and he’d rather be hanging out with friends instead of at a big function with strangers.

—literally the ken to your barbie and yes he took you to see the movie and yes he got into costume with you. and he did it happily.

— always hanging out with his girlfriend and wouldn’t want it any other way.

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

iv. you and me would be a big conversation

— the one where both of you have big reputations.

warnings: this one got a little long sorry, bashing towards charles and y/n (i love them ok), taylor swift references,2.6k words.

masterlist ✢ next

FROM DATF1GURL ON TIKTOK: "IS Y/N Y/LN AFTER CHARLES LECLERC NOW?"

[female voiceover]: ❝(...) while it is true she has a contract with Elix the new MAJOR sponsor for Ferrari—horrible drink by the way—rumor has it y/n's actual goal is to get the monegasque driver to spare a glance her way... Like, okay girl, but you left a 3-year relationship five minutes ago, chill.❞

IN pure Taylor Swift fashion, y/n y/ln has found her own ‘Getaway Car’ in none other than the 25-year-old Monegasque Formula 1 pilot, Charles Leclerc.

While nothing’s been confirmed, (come on now, what celebrity will just confirm rumors of their own free will in this day and age? Screw you, PR agents) the actress has been seen at two Grand Prix and the Elix contract gives her good camouflage for being constantly photographed with her new beau.

No matter how much sex-appeal these two exude, let’s not forget that we have a victim here: Aidan Kim. How can you leave a three year relationship with the man that gave you everything and not even two months later you’re already with someone else?

Is it a rebound or are we looking at something serious? In your humble writer’s opinion it’s most likely the former. And let’s not forget what Taylor Swift, in her infinite wisdom, said: “Nothing good starts in a getaway car”, it doesn’t matter if it’s a Ferrari.

SEE ALSO:

→ Aidan Kim buys new home in Sherman Oaks.

→ Every celebrity present at the Miami Grand Prix.

→ Is y/n y/ln really done with RomComs?

May 13th, Los Angeles, California.

“ARE you sure this is who you want as your rebound, babe?” Victoria places the magazine down and turns her head to look at you, using the precise force and tilt for her sunglasses to slide down to the tip of her nose.

“Stop reading that garbage,” you warn, not bothering to change your position in the chaise-longue, you don’t even look away from the script in your hands.

The day started pretty well, sunny Los Angeles made you feel hopeful for the first time in a while as you opened the script Mildred sent you when you got back from Miami. A drama about a young widow. You can work with that.

“I just mean—” Vic shifts her whole body in your direction, “—You have options, what about Timothée? I’m pretty sure the Kylie thing is fake. And he wouldn’t say no to you.”

“Stop that, Vic,” this time you do look her way for emphasis, you mean it. “I’m not looking for a rebound, or anything else for that matter. I want a job.”

“Fine,” Vic makes a show of capturing her lip between her teeth to pronounce the “F” and lies back in the chair. “I’m just saying…”

You’re glad to be wearing sunglasses, so she can’t see the way your eyes rollback. To be fair, you’re at Vic’s house so she has every right to occupy the same space as you at any given minute. Which is all the time.

After the breakup you ran to Vic’s Los Angeles home and left the SoHo apartment to Aidan. Vic's house is amazing, with eight rooms, five bathrooms, a black granite kitchen and of course, the pool. But you miss New York, even if you can fit your own room two times in one of Vic's. At least, according to rumors, Aidan is moving out of the apartment so you might be able to return to it soon.

“I think it’s bullshit that they see me breathing near a guy and suddenly we’re dating,” you drop the stack of papers on your legs, startling Vic with the sound. “Bullshit.”

“It’s just tabloids, babe.” Vic goes quiet, knowing she’s annoyed you and now you feel guilty about that too.

“I know,” you sigh, picking the script back up. Suddenly you don’t like it that much anymore.

Of course you know it’s just tabloids. People talk shit just for fun, but you’ve been their main target for a few weeks now and you cannot wait for them to move on. Which seems unlikely.

You've never been more glad about turning down a Yankees game invite.

Following Ferrari’s disappointing Sunday and the respective mandatory Elix pictures, you hung around the Suite a little longer in aims of gathering your thoughts and the will to leave to meet Vic at another after-party.

“Hola y/n! I thought you’d left,” Carlos carried his bag in one hand as he struggled to put his sunglasses with the other.

“I’m about to,” you smiled at him, locking your phone. “You too?”

“Yep, going straight to the airport. See you in Italy?” he asked, running his now free hand through his black hair, all set.

“See you there, Carlos.” you waved him goodbye before leaning back on the couch.

Vic had apologized for the shenanigans she'd pulled the previous night, saying she knew she should have asked you instead of just running with things. So you were looking forward to the after-party, it would be fun to hang out with your best friend after making up.

It wasn’t even five minutes before Charles came out too, hanging up a call in his half-destroyed iPhone.

“Oh hey!” He greeted cheerfully, the bad aftertaste from the race wasn't evident in his demeanor anymore. They had their debrief and Charles was willing to let go of the negativity momentarily.

“Hi Charles,” your not-as-cheerful tone didn’t bother him one bit. “Are you flying back today too?”

You couldn’t picture yourself in an eight hour flight after everything they’d done today, but they’re not really regular humans.

“We’re driving to New York, actually,” his hand hovered over the refreshment table, until he picked one of the leftover Elix. Charles examined the black can he chose before speaking again, “We’re going to a Yankees game tomorrow.”

“That’s very nice, Charles.”

He hates Elix as much as the next person so you can't help but wonder why he drinks them even when the cameras are off. Carlos and you never do.

“Would you like to join us?” He offered, the last word deafened by the click of the can as he opened it.

You took a few seconds to process the question, long enough for Charles to down about half the can in one gulp.

“Thank you, but I’m flying back to L.A. tomorrow.”

Charles' mouth went down in one corner and you were uncertain whether it was your answer or the taste that caused it. He tilted the can making the remaining liquid dance.

“Maybe another time,” he added, downing the rest of the blueberry flavored Elix. “Don’t worry.”

“Thanks for asking me, though,” you smiled, grabbing your purse from the couch. You had recovered enough energy already, and you didn't want to miss the DJ set at the party. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“Thanks y/n,” his mouth was still frozen in that slight wince and you shook your head gently at the sight of the empty Elix. “I'll see you in Italy, right?”

“I’ll be there.” you assured, although you hoped not. But a week didn’t seem like enough time to secure a gig.

YOU land in Italy the day the Grand Prix gets canceled. Which is very much just your luck. It’s for the better, though, safety must always come first.

It makes no sense to run back to America when you have nothing else to do, so you resolve to stay in Rome and catch up with a few friends you have around. Matilde Bassi being the best among them, and she would rather die than let you stay in a hotel instead of her house.

"I said no," she repeats, and her accent—although barely even there— reminds you of Charles for a split second, before your brain lets go of the image. "I've told you a million times to come visit, I won't let you stay in a hotel."

You give up after that because you don't want to annoy her. Matilde has quite the strong character, which is the reason she got to Broadway in the first place. After years of being in New York, where you met her, she decided to move back to Italy. Mati, still pursuing her passion, is currently the European public's favorite Juliet.

The fact that all of this goes down in a phone call gives you time to pick up what little stuff you've gotten out of your suitcase and check-out of the hotel before Matilde gets there to take you to her house.

─────────

"So, how are you doing?" she asks, refilling your wine before moving back to the stove, where she's cooking your favorite Italian meal.

"I'm fine, I've told you," you chuckle, sipping the drink. Her house is beautiful too, and spacious, but it feels homey compared to Vic's. "Taking it easy."

One thing you tend to forget about Matilde is how she is able to see right through your bullshit, and that's exactly what she's doing now.

"You never take it easy, y/n. And I mean how are you really? How do you feel? A lot has changed for you lately." she flips her head back to remove a stray curl of hair out of her eyes, "You can be honest."

"I'm fine, seriously, Mati," you know drinking so fast will make the wine go straight to your head but you'll do anything to avoid really talking about this. Which is unfair, Matilde is being genuine.

"You moved from one coast to the opposite and you're fine? What are you working on right now?"

You sigh, managing to smell your own alcoholic breath. "I'm with Victoria, and I've lived in Los Angeles before, while filming, it's not a big deal. As for work... I'm just– picking some stuff out, seeing the best options."

Matilde nods and turns around to grab two plates from the sky blue cupboards behind her. "Are you planning on going back to New York?"

"Yeah, hopefully," you get up to help her and she gestures for you to take a seat again. "My name was on the lease and Aidan is moving out of the apartment, according to People Magazine, anyway so..."

"Your apartment was amazing," Matilde smiles, reminiscing the girls' nights you spent together while she worked in New York, it was always so much fun to be with Mati. "I hope you can go back. If that makes you happy, that is."

She manages to carry both steaming plates and the bottle of wine to the table, and finally sits down. "Well, enjoy!"

"Thank you, Mati, this smells amazing," you missed Mati's cooking so much because no matter how many Italian restaurants you visit, nothing compares to hers, and you're also glad to have something on your stomach that will make the effects of the wine go away.

Or that's what you hoped for anyway, because you're halfway through another cup of wine, almost done with your food, when you drop the grenade you've left unpinned in your brain for 2 months.

"I don't miss him," you whisper, resting the fork gently on the edge of the plate, between two of the yellow flowers painted on it. "Am I a horrible person because I don't miss him?"

You gave it a lot of thought ever since you took the plane from New York to L.A. the night you said no. You thought—still think—there's something wrong with you because the feeling that something was ripped out of your life and the hole that it left would never be filled never even appeared. There was no hole, it was a scar already, and you picked at it trying to make it bleed. But nothing happened. Nothing ever happens.

"You're not a horrible person, y/n don't say that."

You're glad Mati doesn't let silence fall between you, it would have made you regret everything that left your mouth, but she's already reaching for your hand and you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Mourning the idea of someone is worse than mourning their absence. And you had missed Aidan for a long time, even when he was with you.

"I just feel awful for leaving and not wanting to go back, I hate myself for being okay."

The rejected proposal is something you keep close to you still. You love Mati, and you trust her, but you cannot bring yourself to touch that subject.

Mati squeezes your hand, her food forgotten as well. "I'm glad you're okay. I liked Aidan, too. But you're my friend, and I love you and all I want is for you to be better than okay."

"Thank you Mati," it's her words that actually get the tears flowing, and you wipe them quickly with your free hand. "Sorry for dumping this on you so suddenly." you give a choked laugh before clearing your throat.

"I did tell you you could be honest," she laughs, giving your hand a last squeeze before letting it go. "How about we just go straight to dessert?"

You nod, grateful that she leaves to get the tiramisu you bought on the way home from the fridge so you can pull yourself together.

MONACO welcomes you the Sunday before the Grand Prix. Which you are excited about, for the first time in a while.

Matilde proves to be the best company once again, knowing her way around Monaco like it's her own home. You're glad she's attending the Grand Prix too and you were able to get her into the Ferrari Suite with you, unlike your failed attempt at Miami with Vic.

One thing you find out about Monaco pretty soon, is that they're obsessed with Charles Leclerc. He's in buses and billboards and you can see people waiting to catch a glimpse of him outside grocery stores. It warms you up inside that he's so loved in his own country, not many people can relate.

You don't love, however, that the articles online have brought attention to your presence in Monaco too. And although it’s far less than the one Charles gets for obvious reasons, the heat that comes from it is closer to ire than affection.

Still, you take photos with those who ask on your way back from dinner with Mati and ignore the “you’re here for your boyfriend, huh?” Questions that come from people with their cameras millimeters away from your face. Saying “it’s not like that” isn’t worth the effort because it won’t work.

May 23rd Montecarlo, Monaco.

Mati is introducing you to other celebrities that attended the All-Stars game, when Charles comes back from signing autographs to the part of the stadium where you are. He's messy, dirty and all dimples—again— which you start to find annoying. Although it's mildly sweet how he always smiles at you when your eyes meet, you cannot allow yourself to think of that too often. He's a nice guy, he's being nice.

"Hi y/n, I thought I'd see you until the weekend," he greets you, still drying off the sweat from the back of his neck.

You shrug, making way for a couple of guys who give Charles a bro hug, joke about the several mistakes he made during the match and then leave, acknowledging you in the form of a quick scan.

"Good game," you can't help the small laugh that follows the compliment, but Charles only smiles wider.

"I'm a natural," he replies, but takes his hand to the place he hit when he face planted. "Don't you think?"

"Definitely," you laugh again, raising both eyebrows. "I'm just glad you stick to racing."

"Me too," it's his turn to shrug, and run a hand through his damp hair.

“How was New York?” You look over your shoulder to Mati, who’s holding her own conversation a few steps away. “Did you have fun?”

“It was really fun, noisy, big. It’s a shame you couldn’t come.”

“Thank you again for inviting me. I do miss New York, but i had things to do.” You let the air out of your lungs hoping, albeit stupidly, he can’t see in your face that the things you did was read stuff on the internet about the two of you together.

“Oh you live in New York? That’s wonderful, so you know your way around. Lorenzo and I got lost.”

You chuckle gently. “It happens to the best of us.”

“Ready to go?” Mati puts an arm around you, smiling. “Hello, Charles.”

So it is true everyone knows each other in these circles.

“Hello Matilde,” Charles smiles back at her, “I won’t keep you any longer, y/n.”

“No worries, it was nice seeing you.”

“I’ll see you soon, maybe I can show you a place or two in Monaco.” Charles is very casual, but his eyes don’t leave yours for a heartbeat.

Matilde tilts her head and her ponytail falls into your shoulder, the small hairs tickling your ear.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks Charles.” You shake your head away from Mati’s and wave Charles goodbye as he walks by you.

“My advice,” Mati is still holding you by the shoulder. “If I may be nosy… You don’t want to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Charles Leclerc. You don’t wanna do that, y/n.”

You roll your eyes but Mati is unbothered by the gesture. “I’m not doing anything, Mati. He’s being nice, we see each other every weekend.”

“He is a homie hopper, trust me, run don’t walk.”

You tsk, making her shake her head this time. “If it makes you feel better, I’m not doing that, never, ever.”

And although you intend to keep your promise, the first thing you do once your phone is hooked to the hotel’s wifi, is google Charles and his reputation.

Even if you know better than anyone that the internet is full of lies.

─── team principal radio: ❝hello! i really enjoyed creating this chapter, especially the fake media so i hope you've enjoyed it too. thanks for reading!♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @majx00

[theafterglow83]

Stray thoughts from an unhinged mind caused by a song called Robin

Since my teens, I have always been a Karlie Kloss fan. No amount of vitriol from the Swifty’s has ever strayed or strained my conviction that Karlie is on many levels, and aside from being absolutely gorgeous, a better human being than Taylor Swift.

By that I mean she seems to project a warmth and a level of kindness and humanity out into the world that is so pure and honest, when compared to Taylors, sometimes vengeful and darker persona ~as well as her being Queen Mother to one of the worlds most vindictive and exhausting cults who would gladly fillet anyone at “Mother’s “ request. Taylor (the brand) has made a career and a fortune from feeding her tales of romantic misfortune and presumed ex lovers to her hungry mob with merchandise to match.

Karlie on the other hand has a nurturing and supportive side to her and don’t let her beautiful and seductive exterior fool you for below that sultry surface she gives off a warm and fuzzy golden vibe- like a puppy. She’s sophisticated, highly intelligent, NYC chic and street smart , often silly and maturing like fine wine while somehow becoming more beautiful as she ages. She also appears to be one Hell of a good mother to those babies.

All that being said about their personalities is exactly why I believe Karlie’s sunshine is the perfect match for Taylor and her moody, broken, impulsive ,often over indulgent, midnight rain personality. Not only are they equal in status - they have a Yin Yang balance to them - Only that sunshine can dry up the rain in Taylor .

I’ll continue.

While listening to songs off of the TTPD I was stopped dead in my tracks when I came to the song, Robin. I listened three times and found a tear rolling down my right cheek. I was choked up and the tiny hairs on my arms stood up . To say I was moved would be an understatement. There was something so raw, so pure and so loving in those lyrics. I had to sit with my thoughts for a while but I feel the need to share them now among those who i consider “my people”.

The Kaylors.

Sidebar confession: Yes, I’m a Kaylor.

I firmly believe Taylor Swift, and Karlie Kloss had a long running romantic relationship. They were more than friends. They were lovers too. The level of denial it takes to doubt that is astonishing. It wasn’t just Kissgate that sealed the deal. It’s the way those two looked at each other and communicated in a secret language all their own. They were deeply in love.

I believe it all started prior to the public meet up at the VS Fashion Show and even long before the “your kitchen or mine cookie “tweet.

I believe Taylor and Karlie first met when Taylor was showing up at fashion shows that Karlie was walking in as far back as 2009. Where they had a relationship then? Probably not because they were both involved with others but the sparks were flying. Thats when the foundation was laid. The attraction was there. The seeds planted. Destiny and the Universe did the rest.

Think Love Story lyrics

“We were both young when I first saw you” which I believe Taylor wrote about Karlie and which also happens to be Karlies favorite song. I believe they had an ongoing relationship that continued on until late 2017-early 2018 and then I believe something happened and they broke up, as many long-term relationships often do. My guts tell me it was cheating and it was on Taylor’s part and the regret from that will haunt Taylor for her entire life because it caused the trajectory of their path to change.

Karlie married in 2018 yet many speculate they were still together and the unofficial story is the real trouble actually came in mid 2019.

Taylor was furious over the masters, fingers were pointing everywhere, cheating rumors flew. This entire story certainly has all the drama of a Netflix series that could easily do 8 seasons

There’s so much more to this Masters incident than the public is aware of. Also the fact that Josh’s families company ~ the Carlisle Group provided the funding to Scooter is an often overlooked storyline.

Was Taylor angry at Karlie for that but how could Karlie control that if she was even in that loop of that drama. Or~ was there more -because in any good mystery - there’s always several layers more .

What did Scooter have to leverage getting that kind of money from them to buy the masters? Being Karlie’s manager at the time perhaps he has something on her or Taylor or both of them and used it as that leverage . It’s a whole other rabbit hole that I don’t have time to visit right now but regardless Taylor is still angry about to this very day which tells me it goes way deeper and my gut feeling is that Taylor’s dad was the one involved with knowing things and not Karlie Kloss who got fed to the sharks over the situation.

So I’m going on record here saying I never believed Karlie had anything to do with Masters Heist. I believe that story was used as an explanation to explain their separation. I know there’s a whole other level of messy lore involving this and a love blackout and Trumps election and Karlie’s association with the Kushner’s but I’m going to skip over that season and move on -except to say that it was absolutely shameful the level of hate Karlie was forced to endure because of that and still her sun shinned while she was being made the villain online and much of it still continues to this day. At any point during that scandal Karlie could have spoken out but she didn’t. She quietly took one for the team.

I’m not going to pretend that I know what happened during that murky period or what is happening now - because honestly -I do not…but there have been a strange set clues and way too many “koincidences to simply chalk up to being coincidences.

It’s just a gut feeling but I also don’t believe their connection went fully went away or ever will for that matter. They are and will forever be tied together even in the times they are apart but I kinda think they reunited ( again) in early to mid 2020.

I’ve read all the theories. I’ve heard all the rumors ,I’ve been to the rabbit hole, I’ve climbed out, I’ve fallen back in, and most days now you’ll find me sitting on the edge dangling my feet still and kinda wondering. I live my life ~ they live theirs.

So am I a LSK?

No, not really, but some days …ok, maybe. You see for as much as I try to say no…there’s just this tiny string I can’t help but see so I keep my feet planted on the ground but my mind open.

By open I mean open to the possibility that Taylor and Karlie are in one of those kind of “relationships” where as hard as they try ~they just can’t seem to quit each other and they go through periods of on and off times. “pauses” is what I like to call the brakes or bumps along the way. You know that couple that’s over but they’re never really over ?

Where are they now? I have no idea.

Taylor has another year of touring and promoting and probably Travis. My money says Taylor Swift will be the halftime show at next years Super Bowl.

Karlie, along with her modeling contacts ( Carolina Herrera, Estée Lauder, Donna Karen etc ) is venturing into the business world. Along with running Kode with Klossy, she’s CEO of her newly formed media company. She bought I-D magazine and also Life magazine, which Josh also invested in , this year. She’s got a lot on her plate

Yes, Karlie is married but is she really married in the traditional sense of what we all consider marriage to be? On the surface, yes… but once again- the layers and the lore here is incredible.

What a character she’d be on that Netflix show I imagine in my head . Just give her an Emmy already.

Does she love Josh? I’m absolutely sure she does- but the real question is…is she IN love with Josh? You know- romantic love -which, I as an observer ~don’t believe she is or ever has been. You can just kinda tell and no matter how many pictures she posts the connection just isn’t there and whenever I see her with her beautiful babies (even if he’s in the photo) she gives off that “ single mother vibe “

That level of chemistry, no matter how the pictures are posed~ or the hand in hand walks are staged -the passion ~ the look in their eyes - it just isn’t there and honestly it never was.

They have always given off that bff energy and frankly ~ Karlie’s friendship with her “big brother “ Derek actually feels more real, relaxed and genuine.Then there are the gay rumors ( past and present) surrounding their entire little multiverse ~but we won’t go into them right now either. We’d be here all night.

And yes, Taylor has had her share of public relationships but have they been real? Have they had their moments? probably. Did some become more than PR for a brief period of time. Possibly She’s been linked to everyone she even walks by or talks to but somehow it all pales and fades in time. I’m sure there have been flings along the way but flings don’t fly and usually run their course in that 9 1/2 week period that flings seem to take.

If I’m being honest, as I observe from the treetops all of Taylor’s relationships and Karlies relationship with Josh, they never reach the level of the real connection and happiness that I saw between Taylor and Karlie. That’s something you just can’t fake or reproduce with another .

Whatever is going on with Travis is so cringey and sadly embarrassing.I tend to think it’s PR but if it’s real then he truly is her obnoxious karma and karma isn’t usually a good thing. But hey the moneys good. Maybe they’ll even get lavender married so she can stay in her closet and continue to throw red meat to the $wifties.

The future is yet unwritten.

All that being said, I’ll get back to my original point of this ramble and that’s a song called Robin.

So yes, I’ve heard the rumors, I’ve read the theories, I’ve seen photographs of visual evidence. Karlie Kloss was in Los Angeles during the pandemic, the same place where Taylor was in fort part of 2020. When she returned to NYC if you count the months - she was pregnant even if she didn’t look it. I also believe Karlie was there in the shadows during the Long Pond Studio recordings in Upstate NY. Jack kind of gave it away when he referenced “Joe the dog” as being who he thought Taylor was talking about when she said “ Joe and I wrote a song”

I’ve also heard the rumor that there was a ceremony between them that they tried to pass off as a ceremony between Taylor and Joe which Tree later denied that there was ever a ceremony of “any type”.

Ok buckle up because here it comes

I’ve seen the “turkey baster”( IVF ) post that Karlie made. Like who uses a turkey baster in May? What an odd thing to do unless you were signaling an IVF pregnancy situation. Regardless ~ she was extremely happy that day.

I’ve seen the cinnamon buns post ( think the expression “buns in the oven ) that Taylor made a few days later back in May 2020. She was “proud” of her cinnamon buns.

Happy & proud …hum

Is that a crazy set of coincidences? Hand on whatever holy book you set before me ~ I’d have to say “yes”

And it’s Absolutely crazy considering the fact that Levi was born a little over nine months later.

Add in the fact of how emotional Taylor got accepting her Grammy for Folklore when Arron thanked his “ wife and kids “during the acceptance speech.

For a few moments there you could feel the raw emotion in her as she nearly burst into tears andJack tried to console her. Blonde was gutted. It cut deep.

Sidebar:

Yes Aaron has a son named Robin but he’s 9 years old and other than the name cleverly used for gentle cover of the truth in case damage control is ever needed~ there is no connection to that child or a secret, no showmanship to cover it up or anything that would make Taylor react as she did. Other than his name there is no connection to the words in the song

But the fact that Levi’s birth was announced during the Grammys absolutely does connect.

So I’ll just put a pin in that and move on.

Listening to that ballad yesterday rocked my entire world . It was so soft, gentle and living. So heart wrenching that I just let my emotions flow through me as my mind wandered back gathering and processing all the previous rumors and lore I had heard along the way. It left me rattled as it tumbled through memories. Could it all have been true?

So now I’m just gonna say it out loud running the risk of being attacked and also sounding like a supermarket tabloid…here goes “could Levi be Karlie’s and Taylor’s child?”

I know it sounds crazy…secret love child but …

I’m not trying to out anyone and I want to respect the fact that a child is involved here. Honestly I had second and third thoughts about posting this but if I’m being real ~ it’s also a collective of things that have been shared openly about Taylor and Karlie here for years. Somehow the song was like a puzzle piece that snapped into place.

…those loving words ,the emotion in Taylor‘s voice as she sings about her strong heartfelt attachment to a young toddler, as she encourages him in being wild and free in his wonder years, playing with abandon and roaring at the dinosaurs~

There was real love in those words

.

.

Looking out his window over his kingdom (NYC) and speaking gibberish

She also advocates for him keeping his innocence for as long as possible and then speaks of a secret that a inner circle of people have chosen to keep from him” in sweetness” to protect him and the “showmanship” to cover up that secret that he has no idea of.

And as she watches his unabashed play in his toddler purity she prophesies there will come a time in the future when the world he faces will have harsh words for him and she reminds him that he will bounce back like he now does on his trampoline.

“ and you have no idea

Buried down deep and out of your reach

the secret we all vowed

to keep it from you in sweetness

strings tied to levers

slowed down clocks tethers

all the showman ship

to keep it from you in sweetness

way to go, tiger

I’m not crying , you are and Levi looks just like his mommy 🤍

.

Let’s keep this in the family ✌️🤍🏳️‍🌈

God I love this show .

Stay tuned for next season

[yelena-bellova]

Okay, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel compelled.

There is a difference between validly criticizing Taylor Swift and hating on her.

Validly Criticizing sounds like…

- Taylor Swift using a psych ward aesthetic and comparing her broken relationship to being committed is insensitive.

- Taylor Swift writing love songs about a man who has been openly racist is gross.

- Taylor Swift going off on her own fans in a song for calling her out one dating aforementioned racist man is unbelievably arrogant.

- Taylor Swift’s carbon emissions are harming the planet.

Hating On Her sounds like…

- She’s ugly

- She should d*e

- She deserves every horrible thing to happen to her

Every public figure is open to criticism purely by standing in the limelight. People like Taylor cannot chase fame like they do and not face backlash for bad decisions. That does not mean that people need to turn to the worst possible reaction and attack her personally.

Swifties also need to try and wrap their minds around the idea that every person is flawed, even their favorite artist. They cannot possibly stop every person who rightfully calls out their idol for her more thoughtless actions.

I’m a former devout Swiftie and I have zero issue with calling Taylor out on the things she’s pulling nowadays. But I know the line between being a hateful person and simply voicing my opinion. Learn that line too and put it into practice every time you speak about another person.

[baddestbittyontheblock]

alexia putellas fic recs (3)

you are responsible for the content you consume‼️

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ from that first moment alexia putellas x reader

-you looked up when you heard the bell on top of the door go, not really expecting anyone when most people were at home having dinner. it was only you and your best friend working with how quiet it had been and you could feel her gaze on you as the person approached the counter

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ instagram live alexia putellas x fem!reader | pure fluff, just alexia and you being so in love that it makes fans sick

-reader and alex do a live together and alexia looks at the reader with loving eyes and answers questions together all with cuteness.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ pinkie pie from my little pony alexia putellas x reader

-the bet

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ shout it out to the world alexia putellas x lioness!reader

-alexia and lioness reader fic from the world cup final? like they’ve been together for a while but haven’t told anyone so it sort of gets revealed when they congratulate/ comfort eachother

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ alexia blurb alexia putellas x reader

-you know I get so forgetful looking in her eyes.

-my heart is yours.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ golden alexia putellas x reader

-alexia had long been the attraction of many wanting females around the world. She had dealt with the attention relatively well, managing to remain somewhat private. That didn’t stop people from scrutinising her love life. 

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ sidelines alexia putellas x fem!reader | fluff, insecurities, brief mention of what happened last year with the Spanish federation.

-spain won the world cup. but she didn't care about it, she cares about the happiness that it brings to someone else.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ watch it alexia putellas x reader

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ caught alexia putellas x Fem!león!reader | acceptance, protective!mapi, fluff, suggestive themes, (slightly) implied smut, angst (im not sure if its angst but mapi is hurt she wasnt told)

-You had planned on telling your sister but, you kind of liked the secrecy and maybe one day you'll be like 'oh hey btw...'. That didn't come, your sisters girlfriend is the one who discorvers this relationship of yours

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ secret love alexia putellas x reader | smut, jealousy and insecurities.

-this story takes place during the 2023 World Cup in Australia. Part 2 is HERE

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ two’s a company, three’s a crowd alexia putellas x reader x lucy bronze | 18+ minors DNI (heavy smut, cunnilingus, fingering, sex toys)

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ prometeme (promise me) alexia putellas x streamer!reader | fluff

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ hindi ko na kaya [i can’t take it anymore] alexia putellas x reader

-you’re the one that lights up her world, so when she’s in the state of darkness, she needs the light.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ take me home alexia putellas x reader | smut

-it’s late, but you have a visitor you can’t turn away. (think ‘style’ by taylor swift)

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ secret love II alexia putellas x reader

-A few hours after leaving your hotel room, you return there hoping to be as discreet as you were before. Part one is HERE

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ give them something to talk about alexia putellas x reader

-you struggled at first, not playing beside Alexia after her injury put her out for so long. You had never gone this long without playing besides your girlfriend and the change was difficult.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ bello jelly. alexia putellas x reader | spanish!reader, stubborn and jealous alexia, middle wc, there is no difference between alexia and a child.

-Rule number one, never wear someone else's sweatshirt at your girlfriend's presence.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ i protect alexia putellas x reader

-reader being a bit younger maybe also a tad bit younger than Alba. But reader is really protective especially when they are out and get swarmed by fans and press. R protects Alba and makes sure that nothing bad happens. Alexia is super glad that her girl is such a gentlewomen.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ alexia jr. alexia putellas x reader | angst

-where R is Alexia’s and Alba's little sister and joins the Barca team. For some reason the whole team only seems to notice the older and the same goes for the international teams and media. R feels in the shadow and doesn’t want to hurt her sister's feelings so bottle everything up.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ sanctuary alexia putellas x reader | angst, fluff

-your limbs went limp as one of the things you had always wanted slid through your hands as the final whistle blew, and it felt as though your heart took its final beat.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ coffee and cupid alexia putellas x reader | fluff, strangers2lovers, barista!reader

-how you and Alexia meet

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ if i was a man mapi león/alexia putellas x readers | talk about the Rubiales case and it's a longer oneshot than usual

-OCs are sisters, face claims are the women in the picture underneath: Luisa Ruiz Moreno is a journalist and is dating Mapi Leon, Elena Ruiz Moreno is a football player for Barcelona and Spain, she's in a long-term relationship with Alexia Putellas

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ not the plan alexia putellas x reader | touchy men/unwanted touching, a little bit of angst, protective Alexia

-a man gets a bit too close to you during post-match celebrations, much to the displeasure of a certain Spanish midfielder.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part three alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader | explicit sexual content

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in our heart part 4 alexia putellas x reader

-at the same time you couldn’t deny that you would enjoy the quietness and especially the alone time with Alexia. Having an energetic four year old around all the time was one of the most tiring experiences you’d ever had.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ holy alexia putellas x afab!reader | top!reader, making out, riding, shy!R, resolved sexual tension, roommates, pervy!Alexia, daddy kink, frustrated sex

-alexia gets a pleasant surprise when you finally react to all her teasing

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ off limits (2) a.putellas x león!reader | angst

-"...alexia?"

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ new girlfriend alexia putellas x reader

-Only I belong with you and only you babe.

-I hope you find peace for yourself, -New girlfriend ain’t gonna fill the void.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ too hot alexia putellas x fem!reader | SMUT, oral (r giving), fingering (r receiving), strap-on (r receiving), slight mami kink, degradation? praise?

-you guys finally have a day to yourself so you can be as loud as you want

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ professional athletes alexia putellas x reader

-as a professional athlete in your own right,  you always thought you had a grasp on how crazy it can get, and how intrusive the fans could be. That was until you met Alexia Putellas. Once you were introduced to the Ballon D’or winner you realised how hard it was to have a private life and be a true professional athlete.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ olympics alexia putellas x reader | fluff

-making the Olympic team was a dream of yours ever since you 10 and you won your first junior golf tournament. Getting to represent Canada one the world stage was not something you had ever imagined. You had just received the phone call that you were selected for the Canadian Olympic golf team. You tried not to squeal, as you were in a quiet hallway after sneaking out of a press conference your girlfriend was the star of. 

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ las reinas alexia putellas x reader | fluff

-sneaking out of dinner with your national teammates was a common occurrence. They always teased you but they never knew who you snuck out to talk to. Finding a small closet just off the dining area you answered the face time call on your phone “Hi Babe.”

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ night whispers, beach blisters alexia putellas x fem!reader | fluff, slight angst, comfort

-it's late, possibly too late. But you're there with her. Somethings are bothering you, and she makes sure you know she's there for you. On that beach, in that car, forever and always.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ movin'. alexia putellas x reader

-2x Ballon D’or winner Alexia Putellas is set to move to Chelsea from Barcelona.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ she said yes alexia putellas x reader

-It was a day off for both of you, but Alexia was doing a podcast with two Americans because her manager thought it would be a good idea to interact with more English-speaking fans.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ labor omnia vincit. alexia putellas x reader | a little bit of drugs and alcohol

-well, it’s how you meet your wife (posh + becks style)

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ 10 things i hate about you (1) alexia putellas x reader

-FC Barcelona was set to play against Atletico Madrid on this Sunday. As you were getting ready with your team mates in the changing room, you could hear the fans slowly fill the stadium. You were in the motion of tying your shoes when Mapi bumped you with her hip. You looked up to see her grinning at you; “Your sister is in the stands and will watch us.“ “Yes, but I know she’ll mostly watch you.“, you replied, rolling your eyes with fondness. You watched the defenders cheeks flush red; “Me?“

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ 10 things i hate about you (2) alexia putellas x reader

-2017, your first day as a player for FC Barcelona was about to start. With a deep sigh you entered the facilities. Overwhelmed by the amount of new impressions, you didn’t realize that another person stepped to you. You flinched in surprise when you heard a female voice say; “Hola! Are you new here too?“

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ three things alexia putellas x reader

-a blurb about bf ale comforting reader after a nightmare

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ lap dance alexia putellas x reader | 18+ dni (strapons, smuts, cunnilingus, lap dances, stripping)

-stripper r x post world champs alexia

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part four alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader | explicit sexual content

-It didn’t stop after the first and it sure didn’t stop after the third, either. 

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ mess of a mind alexia putellas x reader | reader has ADHD

-Alexia's life is much more chaotic with you and your ADHD - but she wouldn't change it for a thing

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ fighting talk alexia putellas x reader

-England had beaten Australia and you knew what it meant.

Spain versus England in the World Cup Final.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ remotes and notebooks alexia putellas x reader

-reader is being purposely annoying alexia as good as she can

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ off limits (3) alexia putellas x león!reader

-if it was team cohesion alexia wanted, then you were determined to give it to her.

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ skinny dipping alexia putellas x reader

-based off the song 'skinny dipping' by Sabrina Carpenter

 ࣪𑁍 ˖ on the sidelines wag!alexia putellas x basketball player!reader

-“A triple double, Y/n, one incredible feat, how do you feel knowing that your team is through to the play offs?”

[longstoryshort22]

Peter is brand Taylor talking to real Taylor, I Look in People’s Windows is real Taylor talking to brand Taylor (the two were supposed to become one, but the more famous she gets the harder it is)😭😭

The whole theme of the album is Taylor herself and her career and how the industry has affected her, joe/matty/travis/kim are just red herrings bye im gonna go cry listening to Peter

(more details⬇️)

I’m not saying that some songs aren’t about those specific people, I’m just saying they’re only PART OF the theme, I believe her father (and other big heads in the industry) had a big influence on her career and forced her to stay in the closet from the very beginning, that messed her up, she had to hide her true self and keep bearding, and in 2019 she planned to come out but didn’t because of the masters heist, now it’s because she’s gotten more famous than ever that she has too much to lose. So maybe these men he dated, she did like them and she had multiple feelings when these relationships ended, but it’s all part of who the industry had made her into; she had one true love (maybe Karlie) but she couldn’t be with that person that’s why some songs are about a true deep love lost, but that’s still part of the “her career” theme, because of her career, she can’t be with that person. (more details⬇️)

What’s really interesting in this theme is that she’s calling out her father in multiple songs because he really made her life harder…

In Cassandra, (the obvious theory is that Cassandra representing gaylors bc we’ve been saying the truth but never believed. And the first verse is about her getting the news of her masters heist just before her coming out plan, and then “stone’s thrown” is referencing Stonewall.) And in the bridge “They knew the whole time that I was onto something. The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line. They all said nothing. Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll. Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul” she’s saying her family knew something but said nothing because greed and money, we saw the leaked emails of her father and how he cares more about making money out of Taylor’s career than caring about her as his daughter, so I think this bridge is about her father, also about religious trauma may or may not due to him.

In The Bolter, “A curious child, ever reviled by everyone except her own father. With a quite bewitching face, splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, excellent fun 'til you get to know her, then she runs like it's a race” she’s talking about herself being a precocious uniquely intelligent ambitious child, which everyone reviled except her father. why? because he wanted to invest money on her, he controlled how she conducted her career from the beginning.

What’s crazier is that Robin may be about her father too. That song sounds like a sweet song but she’s faking it like “all this showmanship to keep it for you in sweetness”. If she’s referring to her father (only wanting to make money out of her career) in this song then “you’re an animal, you are bloodthirsty” makes so much more sense. And the “buried down deep and out of your reach, the secret we all vowed to keep it from you in sweetness” her father probably knows about her queerness but wants her and everyone to keep it quiet.

In But Daddy I Love Him, “people only raise you to cage you” is pretty obvious about her father forcing her to stay in the closet, and “people try and save you cause they hate you” is literally about homophobes. “Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid” is about her father laying all the plans for her, which isn’t always what she wants. “I'd rather burn my whole life down, than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning. I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace” reminds me of that scene in Miss Americana where her father was lecturing why she couldn’t public her opinions. “Thinking it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me. And counteract the chemistry, and undo the destiny” is so queer coded. “Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see / You ain't gotta pray for me” another reference to religious trauma.

So all of this, about her father, about her lover and other men, it’s all connected to her career and she’s looking back at it, thinking and reflecting on it, that’s it that’s the blog

[romana-after-dark]

Room's on Fire 4: Tolerate It

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist : MainTaglist

Spotify playlist

Summery: Madonna learns more about her role and the dynamics of the household.

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence.

Extra warnings for chapter: 'incubus', emotional abuse, withholding of affection, more panic

This is not meant to be a statement about religion, Christianity, or Catholicism, this is simply my take on a cult. I am a religious person. I understand that some of this may be very offensive to religious people so if you don't like thing like AHS Asylum or Black Mass, maybe consider not reading.

A/n: next chapter things ramp up.

3.6k words

Support writers! Reblog and leave comments!

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid Use my best colors for your portrait Lay the table with the fancy shit And watch you tolerate it If it's all in my head, tell me now Tell me I've got it wrong somehow I know my love should be celebrated But you tolerate it ~Tolerate It, Taylor Swift

Your bed was comfortable, huge, with pillows and soft comforters all around you giving all the comfort surrounding you that you could need. This is a good thing, considering how exhausted you felt all the time. It was not easy keeping 4 men satisfied. Ben was near constant, and although Will took his time with you and both made you cum, it was still a lot. Francisco avoided you, only fucking you when Pope was there. Pope and Francisco… you didn’t know how to take it.

It was strange seeing your husbands kiss, and you struggled with how little Pope’s eyes were on you. It seemed he could only cum when he looked at Francisco. 

You woke up in the middle of the night, a cloud of darkness and pillowy soft as you lay on your back. Consciousness came to you slowly, a deep sleep attempted to keep you down, but the feeling between your legs refused to let you sleep. You were tired, so damn tired and so sore, your arms so heavy you couldn’t even lift them feel at the heaviness on your chest. Why did you hear breathing? Was it your own? You wanted to open your eyes but they were almost sealed shut. Panic began to bubble.

You’d heard of incubus’s before, demons that entered you in your sleep and violated you, but that wasn’t possible, was it? You’d remained sexually pure, physically and emotionally faithful to your husbands and them only. You attended prayers and were the model of wifery. This shouldn’t happen to a faithful servant of Divine Mother. Had you done something wrong? Were you not fulfilling your role? Had you been tainted by the actions of your fathers betrayal?

You were scared.

“Shhhhh” A voice whispered, but you were so delirious from the broken sleep cycle you couldn’t recognize if it was a voice you knew. “Shhhhh, go back to sleep…”

Not sure what to do, scared and completely out of control of your body you tried to fight it, tried to fight off the demon on top of you, but there was no energy left.

You sank into sleep as the rhythmic thrusts rocked you back into the haze.

*

Still tired, still unfocused and unclear, you wake up slowly. When you remember what happened last night, your eyes flash open in a start and the memories come back. They scared you, but the biggest concern was how wet you felt between your legs. Had the demon cum inside you? Were you to become pregnant with a demon's child. Anxious, you throw off the blanket and look down between your legs in your nightgown.

Blood.

You scream, fear from last night clouded any rational judgment and you scream when you see Reyansh. 

“What’s going on?!” He rushed in, gun drawn, looking about to room.

“GET OUT!”

He looks back to you, seeing the blood on the bed. He blinks. “Are you… okay?” He looks confused.

It begins to settle on you what happened, and now you’re embarrassed. You throw a pillow at him. “GET! OUT!”

The pillow smacks him right in the face. “Oof!” But after one more check over, eyeing you confused, he leaves.

You got your period. This did not calm your fears. You shouldn’t have your period, you should be pregnant with the savior. Something was wrong, something was horribly fucking wrong and it was somehow your fault. Was last night a nightmare, or were you being haunted? Either way, something was wrong because you were not found worthy. 

You were not pregnant.

Bleeding more and more, you needed to take care of this, but you didn’t have any sanitary products… No one expected you to need them.

Wrapping your blanket around your flimsy nightgown, You crack the door open, hands visibly shaking. “Reyansh?”

“Yeah?” He says kindly.

You didn’t want to talk about this with him, as nice as he was. Usually, Jonah was outside your door in the morning. You wanted him. “Um… where’s Jonah?”

“He’s the head of the guard, he went back to his normal duties. I’m gonna be your primary guard.” He chuckles a bit. “Sorry to disappoint.”

No… no you wanted Jonah… you trusted Jonah. “No, um… I want Jonah back, thank you…” You tried to sound in control. You were the Madonna, they needed to listen to you, right?

Reyansh sighs. “I’ll mention to Jonah, but I don’t think that’s happening. Miller wants him focusing on security. He just Jonah be around for a bit because you seemed comfortable.”

Fine. Problem for later. You could feel the blood dripping down. “Well then I want Iris!”

“Why? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He sounded concerned. 

“Reyanash please”

“It’s monday, she goes shopping on Mondays, it’ll be a few hou-”

“ARE THERE ANY GIRLS IN THIS DAMN BUILDING!” You snap.

There is a bit of silence before he says. “Ah. I’ll be back.”

When he walks away, you slump against the door and fall down, crying. As you bleed and cry into the comforter, you try not to let the panic settle in. It’s okay, it’s going to be okay. They loved you, they wouldn’t throw you out after one month! They loved you, they loved you, they loved you.

Knock Knock

“Come in…” You whisper, defeated and scoot enough for him to slip in, holding tampons and pads. You didn’t know how to use a tampon, only using pads before. You wanted to preserve your virginity. 

“I found these. They’re Iris’s, but she won’t mind.” He tries to hand them to you, but you don’t grab them.

“You can set them on the floor…” You whispered, and he does.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. Can you um… if you see Santi, let him know?” Santi was anxiously awaiting to hear if you were pregnant… he’s going to be so disappointed in you.

*

No one came to see you all day. Will and Ben were out in the town, working, and you didn’t expect Francisco, but the fact Pope didn’t show was enough to know he was angry with you. You had asked to talk to him, but Reyansh had said it “wasn’t the time.”

So, you went to your studio, Reyansh sitting outside, and went to work. You’d been working on a portrait of Pope. He liked to sit and watch you paint from behind your easel, but you didn’t tell him what you were painting. It was almost done, and you were adding the details by memory. You loved to study his face, all the fine lines and grays and sharp features of him as he fucked into you. He didn’t understand how much you adored him, how you relished the intimate moments not for the pleasure he gave, but for the closeness it brought.

But he didn’t look at you like you looked at him. When he did, it was almost too much; his eyes were fiery and alite. He made you feel like the center of the entire world when he dd, but for the most part, he didn’t. Not in bed. When he made love to you, if Francisco wasn’t there his eyes were closed.

“So you aren’t pregnant.” His voice broke through your thoughts. 

When you look up from your work, he’s standing in the doorway, arms crossed and hip cocked. He was not pleased.

You will yourself not to cry. “I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t say anything as he stalks forward and you set down your brush. He looks at your painting.

“It’s you.” You whisper. It’s his side profile, the background is in flames.

“Am I burning?” He asks, incredulous.

You were quick to disued the idea that you’d paint any harm happening to your beloved husband whom you adored completely. “No! No, not at all! The, the background is, you see?” You use the brush to gesture to his picture. “You’re perfectly unscathed. It’s meant to represent your power… And maybe me?”

He turns at that. “You?”

You nod. “The priestess… she said, well she likened me to fire.”

Pope scoffs before turning to you again. “The Madonna is fire. The mother of the savior is fire. You’ve yet to prove yourself.” He look another look at your portrait and rolls his eyes. “Needs work.” With that he walked away.

*

You had a plan. 

Maybe the reason you weren’t pregnant is you hadn’t won them over completely. You had Ben, William, and before this, Pope… the missing piece was Francisco.He wanted nothing to do with you, and how could you become pregnant when he didn’t want you? You were supposed to be one, a cohesive unit bound together. You needed him, and you needed to win back Pope.

Iris hadn’t been keen on the idea; she didn’t like people in her space, except for Reyansh it seemed. She allowed you in her kitchen with him if there were tasks she was comfortable letting you handle, or if you promised to stay out of her way. Today,however, you begged and pleaded to take over. You had very few personal items, but you had a cookbook from your mother, and you knew how to use it. It wasn’t like you were an amazing cook; that was Iris, she was incredible, but you were what you were doing.

“C’mooooon” Reyansh said, arms propped up against the table holding up his face as he gazed at her. “Take the night off.”

She laughed, but it wasn’t bad natured. She smiled when she talked to him. You wondered if they were in love, but no one had said anything. You hadn’t wanted to assume… but Reyansh looked her Iris the way Will looked at you.

“It wouldn’t be a night off, I’d have to stay here and make sure she doesn’t fuck it all up because it’s still my responsbility”

“I won’t mess it up!” You insist, following after her as she put groceries away. “I used to cook big meals for my dormitory all the time! And anything goes wrong I’ll take the blame!”

“No.”

You run in front of her, looking at her face pleadingly. “Iris, please, I’m begging you, I need to prove to them I can be a good wife!”

Iris looked at you, and you didn’t care how pathetic you looked. You needed this. She turns to Rey. 

“You could work on something here while she cooks, free up a little time tonight.” Did he wink at her?

It’s working, you can see her thinking. “Well… I guess I could work on my sewing… it would be nice to get ahead of work…”

“YES! YES YES YES YES!” You jump and hug her, and you catch her and Reyansh smiling at each other.

*

It took 2 hours, but you never asked for help once. Rey tried to help, but you wanted it to be all on your own. Instead, he helped Iris darn socks and fix holes and tighten or loosen clothes. At one point, Iris came up to you and checked a few measurements on your body but wouldn’t tell you for what. 

The meal was extensive, 7 courses. 

Muse-Bouche: Miniature crab cakes with a spicy remoulade sauce.

Soup: Creamy butternut squash soup.

Appetizer: Olives stuffed with blue cheese.

Salad: Arugula and pear salad with a honey mustard dressing.

Main Course: Herb-crusted salmon

Cheese Course: Pepper jack was all you had, but it’d do.

Dessert: Dark chocolate mousse with raspberries.

When it was done, you were sweating, ready to run off and change before helping serve the appetizer course with Iris, when she stopped you.

“Here” Iris places a fabric in your hands, lavender and lacy.

You blink. “What’s this?”

She pushed you out the door towards the bathroom to change. “A new dress, thought tonight was a good night to debut it.”

It was stunning. All made out of lavender lace, with straps but also the soft fabric going off your shoulders. It was short, about knee length, and an a-line skirt. You looked beautiful, you had to admit. You didn’t like to be prideful, but this was really Iris’s doing

*

“And what did we do to deserve such a treat?” Will said, drinking his whiskey on ice in the parlor as you served the appetizer and muse-brouche. His eyes scanned over your body hungrily, and you had a feeling you’d be blessed with his mouth tonight. 

You smile up at him, then try to catch the gaze of your other husbands. Francisco’s eyes averted to the floor, and Pope’s were icy cold. When you’d knocked on his door, excited and grinning to tell him you had cooked a feast for them all, he was unimpressed. Francisco was in his room, and you felt like you interrupted something, saying they’d be down in a few.

“Just wanted to show my appreciation for having such wonderful husbands.” You go on your tippytoes to kiss Will’s cheek Out of the corner of your eye, Iris passes Ben and you see her quickly turn around, and Will snaps.

“Ben!” 

Ben flips his brother off. You don’t know what he did.

During the meal,  the rest of the courses are served by Iris and Reynash. You haven't quite figured out Reyansh’s role here. He seemed to do a little bit of everything, lower level security that filled a variety of roles. Or maybe he was just around Iris a lot and she put him to work, you didn’t know.

Will and Benny complimented you, Benny wrapping you up in his arms and kissing you deeply as he told you how delicious it was.

You even get a small smile and thank you from Francisco, which is more than you got most days, and he let out a quiet mm eating the soup. It was a good sign, but it wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted him to love you, you wanted him to adore you the way you adored him. 

You wanted Pope to look at you with anything but disappointment.

“Do you like the desert, Pope?” 

He didn’t look up. You’d picked this out just for them, knowing how much he liked chocolate, and Iris said Raspberries were Francisco’s favorite fruit.

“Did Iris make this?” He said, poking at the half-eaten cake. 

“N-no, I made…”

“Hm.” Pope stood up, setting down his napkin. “I can tell.”

He pulled at Francisco's collar and Francosco followed after him. Ben took the rest of their cake.

“God fuck’n DAMN!” The youngest man shouted with a mouthful of chocolate. “Baby I’m gonna fuck you so good for this.”

Will took your hand. “We love the food, princess.” He kissed you tender. “Thank you so much for taking care of us.”

“It’s…” You stare off at the wall, your heart breaking in pieces but trying not to show it. You didn’t want to seem ungrateful for what you were given by your two loves… but you needed them all. You were incomplete without them. “It’s my honor to take care of my husbands…” You say quietly.

He sighed, taking your chin in his hands and lifting them up to his blue eyes. “Madonna, look at me.” You do. “Pope is… he’s complicated. His moods come and go, it’s not personal.”

“But… I think it is… because Francisco doesn’t like me either…” You hate how weak your voice sounds. You want to be strong, you want to be the goddess you are but you aren’t sure how. 

Ben’s mouth is full as he talks. “Frank don’t know a pretty girl if she slapped him, don’t worry about him.” 

But you did, you did worry about both of them. You worried they wouldn’t love you the way you loved them.

You spent the night with Will and Ben. On your hands and knees you pleasured Ben with your mouth with Will stuffing himself in your cunt, both brothers showering you in praise and love. Will was unbothered by the blood it seemed, nor by the way your body was bloated with your period. They must have known how badly you needed reassurance, because after Ben pulled out of your mouth to cum inside your hole lubed up with his brother’s cum, they took care of you. Will cleaned you up and placed underwear with a fresh pad under you while Ben laid your head on his lap, caressing your hair until you fell asleep. 

Or pretended to. You heard their conversation as they left you in your bed. 

“You gotta take it easier on her, Ben”

“What was that if not easy. She literally fell asleep on my lap, that was romantic as fuck.”

“Not today, today was fine, I mean in general and you have got to stop with-”

“Shh!”

“Well if it’s supposed to be a secret maybe stop pinching her ass in public!”

“Oh for-” Your eyes open just slightly, you watch Ben drag Will out of your room. They continue arguing outside your door but you can’t hear them.

You don’t sleep that night. Terror of the night before consuming you, fear of the demon or the nightmare or whatever it was an anxiety that your husbands didn’t love you anymore. Pope you could understand. You’d disappointed him, you’d mess up… But Francisco never wanted you, you can see that now. Were you that attractive? Unpleasant? He was clairvoyant, could he see into your heart that you weren’t worthy?

You felt another panic attack coming. Fear was surrounding you and the dark room didn’t help matters. You needed something, you needed someone’s reassurance but you couldn’t go to Ben and Will, afraid of what they’d say. Did you not trust them enough?

Jonah’s voice in your head. ‘if you ever need anything, anyone cause you problems you come to me, alright?’

Soon, you found yourself at Jonah’s door in his quarters, knocking. You were barefoot and in our nightgown, but it was the least of your worries. You needed help, and you trusted him.

When he opened the door, his loose sleep shirt unbuttoned to reveal his chest and light sweats on the bottom half, his eyes were wide.. “What are you doing here?!” He whispers, looking down both sides of the hall and yanking you inside his room.

It was simple, but clean for the most part. There was a pair of boxers on the floor and a bottle of whiskey vodka opened on the bedside table.

“Hey!” He whisper-shouted, not looking pleased. “What the hell are you doing here?” He repeats a little harsher this time.

You blink. “I… you said if I needed something to come to you?”

“I-” He sighs, softening a little but still looking irritated. Or angry. You couldn't tell which. “Yes, yes I did, but honey it’s 2 AM, is this an emergency?”

Your lips quiver, eyes filling with tears. “Francisco doesn’t love me.”

He looked more confused than before. “Huh?”

You begin sobbing loudly. “Francisco doesn’t love me! And I messed up with Pope and now he’s mad but I, I can fix that but it’s Francisco! He doesn’t want me here! He doesn’t want me to be his wife-”

Your mouth is suddenly covered “SHHHHH!!!” The back of your head is thrust against the wall and you’re suddenly scared and confused. Jonah pinches his brows together, eyes closed. “Hon, that’s not- this isn’t an emergency” His body was pressed up against yours, and as soon as he realized it, he moved back but his hand on your face. It’s large, and you think it could cover your whole face.

You tried to tell him it was to you, that this is your life, your future, but your mouth was covered by his rough, calloused hand and his dark brown eyes so close to yours. You could feel his breath on your face. He’d been drinking. 

He mutters a few swears, lets go of your mouth before running fingers through his graying hair. More swears.

“C’mon, let’s go.” He took your hand and cracked the door open, checking the hall again before pulling you out and dragging you several doors down the corridor, his loose shirt fluttering.

Iris opened the door to his knocks, and as soon as she saw you crying she ripped your hand out of Jonah’s and pulled you behind her. “What did you do!” She hissed quietly.

Jonah raised his hands in defense. “Nothing! She showed up-”

“Why is she wearing lingerie!”

He smacked his head. “It’s not like that, Iris! I didn’t touch her! She showed her here panicking about those assholes but you need to get her back to her room!”

You couldn’t see Iris’s face, but you got the feeling she didn’t believe him. “He’s telling the truth.” You whimpered through your tears. “I came to him,” Iris turned to you. “Because I was having a panic attack, but he didn’t touch me…”  You didn’t tell her the close proximity he was his, his mouth on your face. You didn’t think it happened for the reason Iris thought it did.

She held onto your hand, pausing, then spoke. “Go.”

Jonah looked at you once more, guilt on his face before he nodded, telling her to talk to him when she got back.

Iris took you back to your room, turning on the light and facing you. “You cannot be alone with Jonah like that, do you understand me?”

You weren’t sure why she was so aggressive. Jonah was no danger to you. “He didn’t-”

“I don’t care what he didn’t do this time, but you need to listen to me, you are dangerous fucking territory, and you need to watch your back every fucking step before you or someone else ends up dead, got it? Don’t be stupid.”

She slammed the door behind her.

You only slept when you cried out all your energy.

WELL WELL WELL I gave some Jonah description for you horny Jonah girlies....

BUT ALSO! Jonah lore??? Why did Iris freak out?

LEMME KNOW THOUGHTS OR THOTS

Short chapter, not super eventful or spicy, but next chapter RAMPS UP THE SPICE

If you havnt seen, i've put out two bonus content

1 is FishBen, adding context to their relationship.

2. is the tik tok trend asking your boyfriend to peel your orange

if you have ideas for bonus content or any questions, DROP BY THE ASK BOX!!

Love interaction <3 I know we preach reblogs here but if you arent comfortable with reblogging dark content or even commenting, please consider dropping by the ask to show your engagement, I allow anons!

LOVE YOU ALL!

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[hazbinstohell]

Maroon

Songfic Idea from the Song Maroon by Taylor Swift...(Because it just fit my aesthetic way too much) If you haven't heard it, find it on Youtube! (Also, this is purely self-indulgent, if you enjoy great! If not, don't like it XD My other fanfic will be updated soon, and it will move over to AO3! Hope to see you there!)

Summary - It wasn't supposed to be this way...but here we are, and the color made her want more.

It had begun innocently enough. A song to listen to. Talking about the hotel, or maybe even talking about the redemption of other sinners.

What led from innocent talks to hour-long debates, Charlie remembers at some point listening to the stories of his "old days" with a mixture of fear and awe. He was pretty entertaining on his own. She enjoyed the old vinyl records of songs that he would play over the radio and would take care of them like they were her own, cleaning and dusting the things that he didn't even let Nifty touch, and he loved to show her more of the jazzy tunes that he had.

One day, Charlie's fights were unbearable with Vaggie, so she took a whole bottle of Rosé up at first to drink away the sorrows in her own room, that was until she ended up in his bedroom...and somehow sitting on the edge of the couch in his room, somehow her feet had ended up in his lap as he tapped her shin absentmindedly as a jazzy tune played, and he'd talk about another silly thing or a murder from his days alive, which she would try to tear apart the wrongs of it and he'd just call her sweet.

Charlie took a moment to realize that they had somehow ended up on the floor and giggled as she wondered how they got there in the first place. Alastor waved the bottle as she laughed out loud, "It was the cheapest one I could find..."

Alastor gently filled her glass, "Well dear, I do think he isn't buying the majority of the liquor around here anyways..." It was the first of many more nights. It took her mind off responsibilities and allowed her to be close to one of the people she felt the farthest from. Another night, he had swept her right up into a dance, her giggling at the fact her shoes had fallen off at some point, and their drinks had been spilled, her white shirt having a stain from the wine that he had spilled in their shenanigans.

Charlie had hummed soft laughter as she tried to dab it with a cloth. It was right near her collar, staining it and her neck, "Shit, Al. This isn't going to come out..."

Alastor touched her collar, the sharp finger gently coming to unbutton a part of the shirt, where more of the wine had spilled. Charlie doesn't realize at that moment that the wine on her shirt has changed things, as Alastor watches her face a moment before leaning in to lick at her neck. Her skin flushes everywhere, and Alastor almost seems like he enjoys it as her skin becomes redder as his lips trail up to her own...

Days become weeks of this. Nights of music listening and talking and dancing become nights of lips and tongues and touches. She spends whole maroon nights in his room to leave early morning, marks being left on her neck and collarbone having to be hidden the best it can during the day. She cannot see him around the hotel, or her skin flushes the same color it does every night. Vaggie realizes that Charlie is no longer into their relationship, and they decide that maybe it's time to end it on a good note...instead of a hazy mess of sobbing and just nothing but anger.

At least, Vaggie thinks so. Charlie feels horrible lying to her, but, she had lied to her for THREE YEARS about who she really was. Alastor had agreed when she mentioned it, but she was already sitting on the edge of the bed, as his fingers were leaving trails on her thighs, maroon blood from the marks he left on her flesh. She'd realize that any memory of her was second to the legacy of him over her. Besides, her favorite color may have always been the same color of her blood and his coat.

[mylucayathoughts]

Little moments that I love in Red White and Royal Blue. PART 7 (cannot stop sorry 🙈)

When Nora says how "Prince Henry is so yummy" Alex doesn't really contest Noras comment on Henrys good looks (read yumminess 😏), he just says how he is not really a good person (which he believed at that time) but that's besides the point. The important thing is that Alex seemed to be in agreement with that view 😏

When Bea snatches Nora away from Alex, you cannot tell me this wasn't intentional because like a moment ago she was telling Henry how she thinks Alex is hot and asked whether Henry met him or not. And next thing she does before Henry is about to meet Alex is take the one person Alex came to the party with away from him and make sure that person sticks with her the whole time. I see what you did there Bea 😏 and she was the most amused when Alex and Henry was having their little fight and the cake fell on them 😆

When Alex sees Henry talking so cheerfully with the cancer patient and stops to stare at them. He couldn't match his idea of Henry with this version. I love how he looks confused yet curious here.

He was observing a very oblivious Henry intently, and subconsciously he was allowing Henry to change his mind about him.

During the new years party, while dancing, Alex sees Henry sitting alone and comes running towards him and almost hits Henry's face with his 😆 (baby boy was drunk 😏) I love the energy with which he tries to lift Henry's mood up - "it's aaalll in the hips, LOOSEN UP!!", laughs with his entire face, hears his song and screams "OH MY GOD, this is the song of my childhood!!!" and says "you're dancing" and then he grabs Henrys hand and pulls him towards the dance floor. He is adorable here, always trying to keep Henry close or around.

Henry making this face when he says that his brother is completely oblivious about him being gay -

I noticed it only like a few days ago on my millionth rewatch of the movie and laughed so hard I almost fell off my bed 🤣

When Henry says that he has to belong to himself and he can only belong to someone else momentarily and Alexs first instinct is to hold his hand 🤧🤧 lt was too pure, too kind ❤️ and Henry says "not here" (and you can tell he is devastated that he couldn't let Alex take his hand) and Alex understands the sentiment immediately.

It's not like Alex didn't know where they were, plus Henry and he were just talking about Henry not being out to anyone but Bea. Alex still wanted to comfort Henry and to him, taking Henry's hand wasn't a romantic gesture, he just wanted to be supportive and make him feel better. But he understood Henry's predicament and played along.

When Alex writes to Henry "I'm out here giving my all for my mother. I cant have smut filling my inbox, corrupting my mind and bulging my pants like this! look buddy, you know I'm incorrigible, so don't incorrige me" and Henry writes "I'll behave" you can tell that Henry is trying to stifle a laugh and that he is so proud that he can make Alex feel that way 🤣 I know that it's supposed to be a written part in the movie but they had Taylor and Nicholas say these out loud and you can hear the emotions in their voices and I absolutely love Nicholas's delivery here.

My dumbass noticed something else a few days ago as well. That Alex practices speaking in front of the mirror before delivering his speeches. My boy really worked so hard to get his Texan votes 🤧

All the little scenes where Alex is shown to work in his Texas campaign perfectly capture Alex's passion for politics, his dedication to the Texan campaign, his desire to help mom with her election and his wish to do something for people. I love how this part also portrays how mature he and Henrys relationship has become. It was not about just their physical needs anymore, which is still there (obviously 😏) but they act as each others support system. The way Alex tells Henry about his fear "I'll only admit this to you and no one else..." that he is gonna let his mother down, and the way Henry reassures him 🤧 and then Henry says how his ribbon cuttings are so meaningless and how he wished he could do meaningful things like Alex. And even though Henry is not proud of it, Alex still makes sure to watch Henry's appearances. I love how sweet and kind and supportive they are to one another. And the passion with which both Nicholas and Taylor read theirs emails 🤧😭 so good!

At the V&A when they were slow dancing, you can't take your eyes off Taylor and Nicholas's hands 😍 they just keep lovingly caressing each other. It's soo beautiful to watch. They are so gentle and caring in those scenes.. Their eyes are soft, full of love 🤧 This is yet another scene where you can't possibly ask more from Taylor and Nicholas. They really went all in 👏

Their soft little smiles in this scene 😍🥺 Henry looks so relaxed and happy! They make me cry ok 🤧

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

[euphoniumpets]

All of the girls you loved before | Nikolai Lantsov x Rietveld! Reader

Summary: You never thought falling in love with the captain of hummingbird, yet alone the prince of Ravka.

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Rietveld! Reader

A/N: i missed writing one-shots of my favorite characters and this came up my mind since i'm a sucker for the reader being Kaz's sister and something about taylor swift song send me feelings about this one.

Warnings: pure fluff, just some slight ptsd.

old masterlist | navi | new masterlist

Of all the plans you conjured over the years, this had to be, by far, the morst risky, inconvenient, fragile, stupid plan yet. Maybe you'd been a little vague from the moment you saw the private ship and decided to board on it when you left Ketterdam.

You'd always wanted to venture out into the world, seeing the possiblities and what's out there, unlike your brother, Kaz Brekker. When Jordie died, you two were never the same. You succumbed into the darkness and you tried everything in your power to survive of the cold streets of Ketterdam.

You swore that day to yourself that you would not be there again, trying to figure out on how to survive. Because that's what you two did, despite seeking out the vengance you longed for, you longed for the freedom.

Leaving Ketterdam was the hardest part since you would not have your brother next to you at all times. Kaz had been at your side ever since Jordie died, not letting go of you since he was afraid that the same thing would happen to you.

But you assured him that you would be fine and that you would send letters when you had time to assure him that you was alive and well. Inej and Jesper was sad that little Brekker was going out and you wished that Inej could be there with you, but some day when someone didn't owe her, you would tell her about the adventures and someday, the two of you would venture out in the world together.

Jesper had handed you guns that he had bought in order to ''keep you safe''. Although, you didn't want to admit it, but the guns were pretty useful and you understood why know he had the passion for his guns since he would always talk about them.

And so you did say goodbye to the city who caused you harm and ventured out in the world. With your ability to blend in with your Ravka accent and your clothing, you got on board with no trouble at all.

You got settled in quickly by the crew at the Hummingbird, and Sturmhond, the captain was kind enough to lend you a room. Tamar was the only one who ever questioned your background over the years, but you kept quiet about it.

Of course, Sturmhond knew your story was patchy, but he also understood running from your past was better than anyone. The relationship between you and Sturmhond started suddenly, nobody saw it coming, including the two of you. He didn't see coming the ability to shamelessly flirt with you, or when his heart would jump whenever you was near him.

Despite when Alina Starkov and Mal had arrived at the hummingbird was the recognition in their eyes when they knew that you was there. Being the great friends that the three of you were, they didn't say anything.

You were glad that they decided to keep their mouth shut, and in return, you helped them to find the Sea Whip along with Sturmhond. You and Alina talked about there was something about your captain that the two of you couldn't put the finger on it, but you never discussed it further.

Then the groups were splitting up, and it was only you and Sturmhond in the room. The plan was discussed in detail, turning over and over. He knew that you were intelligent, and you knew that he was lying to you. Maybe a little to intelligent for your liking, but that's what you had been when you and your brother would plan the heist together.

''There's just one thing, before we join hands and whatever we do, I want to know exactly who i'm running with,'' Sturmhond replied and looked up from the map. You looked at him with an amused expression.

''Who are you really?'' He asked.

''I should ask you the same,'' You replied and crossed your arms. Your eyes narrowed at your captain. ''I see,'' He replied before closing the door.

''Nikolai Lantsov,'' He spoke, waiting for your reaction. It didn't came a surprise to you, knowing that he struck a deal with Jesper and Kaz when they returned back to Ketterdam. ''Y/N Brekker, I figure out that you're the one who struck a deal with my brother,'' You responded.

''Indeed,'' He responded. ''Now, why are you here?'' He asked and went back to his position. ''I already told you from the beginning,'' You rolled your eyes. ''And I guess your answer still stays the same?'' He asked.

''Yes?'' You replied, although, your answer sounded more as a question.

''So, how much does this change?'' You frowned. ''About us,'' He explained.

''Nothing,'' You answered and you saw him approaching closer to you.

''Really?'' He asked and you felt him coming closer to your body. You froze and didn't dare to move.

''Really,'' You answered. You looked up from the ground, meeting his hazel brown eyes. You took a deep breath, preparing for the feeling of drowning. It had always been like that after Jordie died, you couldn't stand other people's touch, just like Kaz had been with others. It made you feel drownsy, like you couldn't breathe as the water suffocated your lungs while you tried to catch your breath.

But some people were able to pull you out and some people were Nikolai and suddenly, you didn't felt like drowning, but instead, floating around with peace.

[likeadevils]

Reputation Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Reputation in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing rep and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices

February 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue is published (likely conducted on January 14/15).

"I don’t worry that I haven’t started the next record yet. I don’t worry that I don’t know what it’s going to be. I’m not worried that I have absolutely no timetable as to when it needs to be done. It could be two years from now; it could be three, it could be four. Or it could be one. You get these bursts of inspiration right at the moment you’re not expecting to. You just have to live your life, and hopefully you’ll take the right risks."

March 2, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a studio. (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio).

May 20, 2015: Taylor's interview with Marie Claire is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Taylor is not even sure she'll have made another album by the time 2020 rolls around. "I'm not going to put out an album until I've made one that's better than this one and that's going to be really hard," she says. And how might her music evolve if she does find love? "If that does happen, I think I could find complexity in happiness," she says. "I don't think anything's ever simple. Just because you're happy in a relationship doesn't mean there aren't moments of confusion or frustration or loneliness or sadness. Hopefully, if I ever find some sort of meaningful relationship, I'll be able to still find inspiration, just through everyday ups and downs."

October 7, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a recording studio in New York.

November 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue Australia is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Every two years since 2006 she has released an album, followed by a tour, then moved onto the next one. But her latest album, 1989, might change plans a bit. “This album has produced more number ones than any album in the past, so we’re just going to go with it,” she says, going on to explain how the usual album cycle could be extended. “Then I’ll feel like I’ll need to give people a breather from me because at a certain point they’re going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so I’ll need to go away for a while then, depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are, I’ll decide when to put out the next album.” [...]  “I’ve been learning every single day what the right amount of sharing [of her personal life] is, and lately it’s been not natural because this album is such a snapshot of my life – it was so vivid, direct and honest.”

April 20, 2016: Taylor interview with Vogue is published (conducted in February).

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift? “I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music. Those who know her know this is chemically impossible. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says. “The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started. That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment.

August 29, 2016: Taylor writes in her diary "This summer is the apocalypse."

Gorgeous: Sep. 1-5, 16, 17, 19 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing this outfit in her Nashville apartment, which dates the song to September 17. From there, the rest of the dates are just math. 

King of My Heart: Sep. 6, 19, 20, 21 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing the same outfit in the Gorgeous video and the KOMH video. It's also the same outfit as a video she later posted to The Swift Life (RIP) where she talked about how excited she was to be working after a long break.

September 9, 2016: Gigi Hadid says "You know, [Taylor] is starting to go back to work in the studio again."

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Early Oct. (Speculation)

In a teaser for the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen in an unfamiliar outfit (black mesh top) with bleached hair and a thin gold choker that she was fond of in October 2016. She is not wearing her silver J pendant, which she got as a 27th birthday present (Dec 13, 2016). IDWLF is the only song with no video footage that was written in 2016. I don't recognize the studio in the clip, but she recorded IDWLF with Jack Antonoff, who is based in New York. Taylor was on the east coast until October 22nd, and was seen in New York between October 11-13.

Delicate: Oct. 24-26 (Speculation)

Taylor is seen wearing the aforementioned thin gold choker,  with her post Sep. 24 haircut (straight across bangs instead of a side part). Since she normally goes into the studio with Max Martin and Shellback with a few ideas, and creates multiple songs during their sessions, I'm inclined to group this song with IDSB and place it in late October.

I Did Something Bad: Oct. 14, 27 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, at 4:18 you can spot a gold temporary tattoo on the inside of her wrist, similar to ones she was wore at Drake’s Birthday Party on October 23. Since she is seen working until sundown (She leaves LA on October 28) and had to be in Nashville 13 days priar (She was seen in New York City until the 13), October 14 and 27th are the only dates that make sense. 

January 3, 2017: Taylor writes in her diary "I get all scared about the future because so much has changed in the last year of my life. I mean this time last year I was living in LA, getting ready for Grammys and now, I’m essentially based in London, hiding out trying to protect us from the nasty world that just wants to ruin things. We have been together and no one has found out for 3 months now. I want it to stay that way because I don’t want anything about this to change or become too complicated or intruded upon. But it’s senseless to worry about someday not being happy when I am happy now. Ok. Breathe."

Don't Blame Me: Jan. 10, 11, 12 (Inferring)

Taylor is seen wearing a similar jacket as she was papped wearing on the 11th in the Making of a Song video. (This is pure speculation on my part, but the mood also seems to be a bit lower than on other days). We know she was in LA around this time “for work.”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Jan. 11 (Confirmed)

This post explains the situation pretty well. There are multiple accounts of what seems to be a similar story. January 11th one of two times she is seen leaving the gym after a long paparazzi dry spell, the other being in July. Seeing as the song is produced by Max Martin, who is located in LA, and the July pictures are in New York, I’m inclined to agree with the original source.

Dress: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

Jack Antonoff: “Dress is my second favorite [from Reputation]. It's the first one we made for it." Taylor was mostly based in London in early 2017, but there’s two times we know she was in the states. The first is in early January, when Taylor was in California working with Max Martin and Shellback. The second time is in late January/early February, when she was in Nashville preparing for Super Saturday Night. My guess is this was written in Late January, mostly because she was on the east coast, but theoretically she could've done it earlier in the month, or even later in the year.

Look What You Made Me Do: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song Video, as well as in Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with straight hair and her J initial necklace (dating the song to post-Dec 13, 2016). Her hairstyle (the deep side part) is very Mid-2016. For most of 2017, she seems to favor the straight across braids with strands on the side. Long story short (ha), the hair makes me what to put this as early in the timeline as possible. We know Taylor was on the east coast (specifically Nashville) in early February, preparing for Super Saturday Night.

New Years Day: 2017 (Unknown)

There isn’t any footage of this, but Jack Antonoff has said that it came together fairly quickly and unexpectedly while they were hanging out at his house. 

...Ready For It?: May 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song series, as well as Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and not her Sapphire Evil Eye Ring, which starts showing up on June 27th (We don’t know exactly when or why she got the sapphire ring). . Since the song partially focuses on whether or not her lover is ready for the media frenzy that surrounds dating her, I’m inclined to place this song in May, when her and Joe’s relationship leaked to the press. The song was recorded in Sweden, and we can assume she was in Europe between May 15 and June 1, 2017. (That being said, we can assume she is in Europe for most of the first half of 2017). 

Call It What You Want: June 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and not her sapphire evil eye ring. Once again, I am tempted to put this after her relationship leaked to the press, probably in early June (She is in the states on the 1st and 3rd, and probably leaves sometime in mid-June).

End Game: Mid July (Confirmed)

Ed Sheeran has said that the song was written around July 14th, while he was playing in Connecticut and Taylor was in Rhode island. Ed: End Game was written - I was playing Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and she has a place in Rhode Island, which isn't too far. So she hits me up like, 'I know you're in Connecticut, come around.' I go around, she plays me some of what turned out to be reputation, and plays me this End Game, and I was like 'Man, I really like this. Can I do a verse? Can I do a rap verse?' And she was like, 'Yeah, for sure!' So the next day, I remember, I was in bed, and woke up and got my laptop out, put the song, just looped it, wrote this verse, and I went in with Max Martin, who she did the song with, and recorded it. Then Future did a verse, and then Taylor wrote a verse and we did the video.

Getaway Car: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring, placing the song sometime shortly before/after June 27th. We know she was in the states for most of July, and in New York City on the 17th and 24th.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring. For all the same reasons as Getaway Car, this song was probably recorded in July. The exact order of Getaway Car and TIWWCHNT is probably impossible for anyone not involved in the making of the song to know. I could see arguments for either order, but Taylor has said that reputation is in fairly chronological order, I’m putting it in order of tracklist.

So It Goes: September 2017 (Inferring)

Oscar Görres, a cowritter on the song, said he got a call from Max Martin, Shellback, and Taylor asking to use his track after he’d just had a child. According to social media, he had a daughter in 2015 and a son in September of 2017. The interview is a bit confusing, timeline-wise. On one had, Görres says “I’d just become a father,” but then he implies that Max and Shellback had already completed most of the album. (For context, English isn’t his first language). Personally, I believe the believe the September 2017 date. Multiple sessioners have said Taylor said all songs on the album were about her relationship with Joe, and the tracklists in the reputation magazines are out of order, suggesting a late change. Taylor has has also been known to add a song to the album incredibly last minute— most notably Forever & Always on Fearless, but also with Death By A Thousand Cuts on Lover, which had to have been written post April 20, 2019 (but that's for another album).

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

[hoosbandewan]

THE Billy Taylor Post

I have a love/hate relationship with The Halcyon as a show overall. I don't feel like all of it is written well, but the area in which it definitely excels is Billy Taylor's story. You know, the cutie pie bellboy that Ewan plays and who is always bugging out in all of the gifs we make of him. He's young, he's sweet, and he's insanely adorable.

And his story is also the best in the entire show. In my opinion!!

I also cry whenever I think about Billy for too long but we'll get into that later, hehe.

Spoilers for The Halcyon, btw!

If you haven't seen it, The Halcyon is set at a fancy hotel in London just as WWII has come to Britain. Also, fair warning that this post is a little bit all over the place because I have SO MANY BILLY TAYLOR FEELS

At the start of the show, Billy is seventeen and working at The Halcyon as a bellboy. He's portrayed by Ewan as someone who's maybe a little bit... no thoughts, head empty. I jokingly refer to Billy as having big NPC energy when he's in the background of scenes because it looks like he has radio static going through his head whenever he's not being interacted with. And like to think that it's not because it was Ewan's first gig as an actor. I think Billy genuinely is a little bit daft. He's the baby himbo. He's the golden retriever puppy who isn't the smartest in the room but he makes up for it with hard work and dedication and pure sweetness.

I mean, he's only seventeen and he appears to be one of the higher ranking bellboys at the hotel. He's given important tasks like welcoming ~secret guests to the hotel, showing new hires where to go, and personally taking care of high ranking guests' belongings. He's clearly trusted by the management and is, more importantly, very good at his job.

But, bless his heart... Billy can be kind of a mess. He's forgetful and sometimes just plain thick. He loses the family dog of the lord and lady who own the hotel while taking it out for a walk. (Literally how does that happen. Billy.) He bungles the staff poker game by revealing his hand without realizing. He's also a silly little dumbass when he and a couple of the other hotel staff are at the movie theater and see the lady who owns the hotel (who's there on a !secret date) and he straight up points at her from several aisles back with his eyes all bugging out. Be more obvious, Billy!

Billy is young and naive and maybe not the smartest guy around, but you know what? He's good at what he does (most of the time, lol) and he's a damn hard worker.

He's also someone who knows that people are reluctant to believe in him and he clearly doesn't like that. Billy signs up to join the army the moment he turns eighteen and, although we don't see it, his mum Peggy (who works at the hotel as the telephonist aka switchboard operator) mentions to the hotel general manager that there was a bit of an argument between them over it.

“Do you know why he was so upset that I didn’t want him signing up? He thought I was saying he wasn’t good enough.”

He also gets angry with his mum when his call-up papers do arrive. I know I called him daft before, so I'm giving him credit where credit is due - he actually very cleverly notices that the letter should have gone to his family's house, but it showed up at the hotel instead. And, upon learning that he's been assigned to the Royal Artillery instead of what he wanted - the engineers - he knows it was his mum (with the help of the hotel general manager, but he doesn't know that part) who moved things around so that Billy could stay close to home.

He angrily tells her, "I ain't a child no more," and storms out of the room. Billy wants to prove himself. He wants to be a grown up with responsibilities and he wants to be believed in.

You feel for him, but you also feel for his mum, who is watching her only son grow up and enlist in the war effort. At one point, Peggy mentions that she was only 19 or 20 by the time she'd had Billy, so she was a young mother (and still is!). Her worrying and fretting over him clearly annoys him because he's a teenager, but, god you feel for her. We also learn that Billy's dad, Jim, was drafted to fight in the war so she must be out of her mind with worry. I'll get more into my Billy feels as related to his mum in a bit. But I mean... just look at this line of Peggy's after Billy's joined the army:

“I pray. I fuss. I hold him a little tighter each time I see him."

Before I move on, GOSH, Billy is such a teenager when it comes to his interactions with his mum, lol. He doesn't want her fussing over him or being affectionate. He shrugs her off when she tries to fix his collar. He's reluctant to let her kiss his cheek... but he lets her do it anyway, of course.

Speaking of his family, Billy's relationship with his little sister, Dora, is also so cute and I love them. She tells another character that she doesn't miss him once he's moved out to join the army because she thinks he's "annoying" but she really does love him, lbr. And he's clearly very close with her, too.

At one point, their family home is destroyed in the Blitz so Peggy and Dora move into The Halcyon for a while. Billy watches his sister on mornings that he can get away from his army duties. He carries her around piggyback style. He lets her wear his army hat. He calls her "squirt." They're freaking adorable.

There's also a cute little moment during one of the Blitz raids where Billy's mum and sister are in the hotel shelter and Dora is frightened. Her mum tells her to listen for the sounds of the artillery and says, “That’s our Billy. He’s protecting us.”

And he is. Billy is a protector. He's always looking out for the people he cares about. When Kate, the maid he has a crush on, is SA'd by the Count, Billy angrily confronts him and even points the Count's own fucking gun at him. AND HE PULLS THE TRIGGER. He was about to fucking murder this man for doing what he did to Kate!

Billy is a fucking real one. God, he's the best character.

I don't have anywhere specific to put this, but I wanted to mention how much I love the little detail the writers added in about Billy's handiness and interest in machinery:

He is seen chatting with one of the waiters about the guns they use in the war and is later able to correctly identify the type of German plane flying over the hotel.

Later on in the season, The Halcyon's general manager and head concierge are trying to fix the hotel generator and lamenting that Billy was the one who always maintained it before he left to join the army. (I will come back to this later because omg)

Billy himself mentions to his mum at one point that he's planning on helping a neighbor with some things she needs done in her shelter and that he expects it to be a quick job.

When he joins the army, he's put in charge of operating one of the anti-aircraft guns - directing his fellow soldiers and being the one to manually operate the machine itself.

Now that I think I've covered every other Billy feel, I have to talk about... the worst one. The saddest one. His death. /:

I don't know how to say this without sounding like a complete [Michael Gavey voice] loooser, but I can't really think about Billy and his story in this show for too long without... crying? Oof.

I think that's a testament to just how well written his storyline was in this show. They make you care so fucking much about this sweet, innocent, pure-hearted, good to a fault, daft, brave young man so much that, when he dies in the Blitz, it really fucking hurts.

I swear, thinking about Billy Taylor deals psychic damage to me every time.

And I think that, part of the reason that Billy's death hurts so much is because of how it's shown to us. We all know the famous orange scene between Billy and Kate so I'm sorry for ruining it by making it sad, lol. But that scene ends with Kate telling Billy that she'll meet him the next morning to share the orange with him. So when morning comes and the hotel staff are arriving and see Kate waiting impatiently for "someone" who hasn't arrived, your heart fucking sinks immediately.

They don't even tell us about Billy's death by showing Peggy learning of the news. We're told through Kate's POV. He doesn't show up to their meeting in the morning and, when she arrives for her shift, the staff has been gathered around by the general manager. Only then do we learn that Billy was killed by a parachute mine the night before. And we follow Kate to the same closet where Billy gave her the orange, where she's sobbing and cradling the fruit in her hands.

But what's even sadder is that Billy remains a presence throughout the rest of the show. You, as the viewer, grieve him alongside not only his family, but also the people who knew him and worked with him.

When the hotel loses power during a bombing one night and the general manager and head concierge are trying to fix the generator, they're lost for what to do and even lost for words because Billy was the one who always handled the generator. They end up fixing the thing by taking a wrench and banging the side of it because "That's what Billy used to do." And it works. The generator turns back on thanks to Billy. Thanks to the memory of him. And the concierge look up and says, "Clever lad," as though Billy can hear him.

Of course, Peggy spends the rest of the season grappling with the loss of Billy, too. The other characters mention more than once that she's "talking about Billy as though he's still here" and that it's worrying them. Eventually, the general manager sits down with her and she says that she does know he's gone but that it's so hard to believe because she wants to think that he could just walk through the door at any moment.

But, oh my god, the saddest moment of the show for me... is the moment when Peggy is walking through the hallway in the staff area of the hotel and she sees one of the bellboys walking towards her. He has his head down so his face is in shadow but he's about the same height as Billy... and you can see in Peggy's face that she's allowing herself - just for that one moment - to imagine that it's Billy. To let herself think that he's still alive. You're watching her process the scene before her and seeing her think, "Could it be him?" for those few seconds... until she sees the bellboy's face. And, oh my god, it absolutely wrecks me every single time.

Billy's death is the reason that Peggy gives up the one thing she has left - Dora - and sends her away to the countryside along with the other children who are being evacuated from London. Because she can't bear the thought of losing her last living child.

Billy is the character who shows the audience how cruel and unforgiving the war is. That it can take anyone, no matter how sweet and kind and young and good the person is.

And it illustrates the enormity of the chasm they leave behind.

Billy's loss is felt in everyone, from his family to the people he worked with to the girl he had a crush on. AND IT'S FELT IN ME, TOO, GODDAMN

This was so long and I may not have even touched upon all of my feels but thanks for coming to my Billy Taylor TED Talk. I fucking love him. The writers did an amazing job writing him. 10/10, no notes whatsoever. I cry every single time.

He's such an underrated Ewan character and, I know I haven't mentioned it much, but Ewan's portrayal of him is flawless. He's perfect at capturing all the silliness, daftness, and earnestness that makes up our sweet little Billy!

Tl;dr - Everyone should love Billy Taylor!

Aaaand here's another gif of our sweet boy to end this massive post: