#i freaked out so hard just to sort through it and realize i was upset bc i thought this meant i had to give up my life to fix my parents

[faggotryandtransjesterism]

okay well in retrospect what all that meant was i do not like my parents or want them in my life and seeing them is distressing. PSA if making your parents into decent people is a full time job it is not worth it and you should prolly just let them sink or swim

[moneymartin]

OKOK SO I JUST SAW THE NOTIF!!

so hear me out…maybe reader is like a fam friend of Kate’s. They were best friends and played together all the time. They went to Iowa together, and are roommates. Reader plays volleyball, soccer, softball, wtv you want. And like a slow burn friends to lovers!!?? (i’m a whore for friends to lovers) i’m talking mutual pining, years of attraction and feelings…literally brewing for 22 years (kate’s going to be 24 soon, so like they’re moms were bestfriends so Kate and readers friendship started when they were like 2?)

PLSPLSPLSPLS IF U CAN!?😋

・❥・- no hard feelings.

summary: basically the req lol. r plays soccer at uoi and kate is a nervous wreck 😭

warnings: none rlly… just the use of y/n if that even counts as one??? 💀

rpf!!! don’t read it if ur uncomfortable 😣

wc: 2.25k

a/n: not my usual stuff, i know. i’ve just been itching to write something about kate :( plz don’t unfollow me guys and don’t leave me mooties </3 🤧 i swear i’m going back on my yjs grind once school ends. every divider is a timeskip btw cuz this is lowk long and im layz asfk… also kind of messy i’m so sorry

NOT PROOFREAD!!!!

22 years. you and kate have been friends for 22 fucking years, and she hasn’t picked up yet. your very obvious feelings for her are starting to fade the more she’s been avoiding them. it sucks so fucking much.

these stupid feelings started when both of you ended up at the same university and the same dorm. you never saw kate in that light. she was your mom’s best friend’s kid, and the rest was history. you played tackle football with her when she had nobody else to play with, practiced basketball with her. you two were practically attached to the hip. the same elementary, middle school, highschool, and the same damn college.

it wasn’t like you could just leave too. the scholarship you were offered for soccer was totally worth the taking, and you couldn’t leave behind the team either. the first few times you gained feelings for kate was when you were in middle school. ‘experimenting’ with your feelings. well, that was your guys’ excuse after you two losers got caught by her mom. after that it was just dating stupid boys to get your head out of it and your head off of kate. thankfully, she was trying to do the same exact solution. you knew a lot about her.

but the one thing you didn’t know was that she felt the exact same. she was just too scared to say it. its not like she wants to lose a 22 year friendship over her uncontrollable feelings. first thing she did was go to caitlin, and she was practically freaking the hell out over it. cait was definitely the anchor between the both of you. helping you with accidental arguments so you didn’t lose kate, helping you out with what to say when she was upset. it was good having someone like that, but it was so incredibly stressful having to consistently ask for some sort of advice.

eventually you were tired of it. tired of waiting for something to happen. waiting for a move to be made by kate or maybe just a few little hints that kept you going. although you couldn’t anymore. it was draining, like someone who didn’t realize what you felt about them. you told caitlin everything after that reality set in for you. it was the blinding of your feelings that let everything slip through your mind and basically fly over your head. how could you be so naive to believe that she did and you were just trying hard for nothing in return. it was dumb, and you knew that much.

one night after a long day of testing and practice, you stumble your way into your dorm, the door locked and a frown crossing your face. the keys were in your stupid locker. “open the door, please..” you murmur, voice tired and confused. you bring your fist up to the door and knock softly, the sound of the lock clicking and the door creaking open. “jeez. soccer must’ve been a pain in the ass. you look like shit.” kate laughs, grabbing your arm gently to stable your body. letting out a heavy huff of breath, you lean slightly into her and drop your arms to your sides. “tell me about it.” she smiles and hoists you up carefully, locking the door and bringing you to the living room.

the moment your butt hits the couch cushion you let out a soft sigh and look at kate, her big stupid and soft eyes locking onto yours. the corners of your lips curl up slightly and you snicker, raising your eyebrows. “do you really wanna know? cause its a stupid story.” you exaggerate and rub the back of your neck. kate takes the spot next to you and nods continuously, her head leaning onto your shoulder. “trust me, dude. i wanna hear it.”

“kay, well… coach dilanni was being a total douche about what i wanted to practice. i mean, its fucking practice for a reason. i’m supposed to practice what i need to practice! not what he wants me to practice.” your voice gets a little low and you start to slur out your words. the repeated words and slow murmurs make her laugh a little, her arm hooking around your neck and bringing your head towards hers. “and he gave me so much attitude. like, the more i tried to defend myself the more he spoke over me. the old head was thinking about benching me during the champ game!!!” you blurt out and let out a groan.

she starts to realize just how tired you are and pouts, her head moving away, and her hands cupping your face. your head involuntarily moves to stare at hers, your eyes half open, your lips pursed slightly, and your head dropped down a little. “he looks like a nice old guy but deep down that man has some serious problems,” you grumble. “and don’t even get me started on the tests i had to take.” kate’s eyebrows raise and her face stills for a moment when you bury your face deep into her neck. your breath tickles at her skin and she feels shivers running up and down her back. you’re so tired you don’t even realize what you’re doing.

“y/n…” she breathes out heavily and you hear her swallow down whatever she needs to say. your head pulls out and you look at her with big eyes too, just like how she did earlier. water forms in your ducts as you try to fight off the sleepiness, but the way kate is looking at you makes it hard to get off of her. “hm?” you hum and drop your head against her shoulder. “never mind, okay.” her voice drops too and softens a bit, a familiar heat rushing up to your face when she runs her fingers up and down your back.

the warmth of her body and the relief you feel when you hear her voice makes your head spin like crazy. its like she knows what you feel about her and is just doing this to mess with you. the second your eyes shut, kate sucks in a sharp breath in through her teeth and practically manhandles you. gently, of course. but shes picked you up like a damn baby and you don’t have the slightest intention of stopping her from doing it.

your stomach spins and churns awkwardly from the contact. you’ve known kate all your life, but right now it feels like you just saw her on campus for the first time. after you got that news you guys shared a room together. you suddenly get the reminder of your feelings for her, like a shit ton of fireworks igniting in your stomach. more so reigniting. she brushes her fingers up against your face to move a few strands of hair from it.

kate likes you. she really fucking does, and its just the fact that she can’t spit it out no matter how much she wants to. no matter how much she wants to scream it from the rooftop and tell the whole world about how she feels. she thinks you’re the prettiest girl she’s ever seen and she has that gut feeling where she believes that you feel the same way. she isn’t stupid but shes smitten and that’s blinding her as well. just like how it did to you.

“y’know how we’ve been friends for like.. a bajillion years?” she laughs nervously and curls her lips downwards a bit. you know that shes nervous and its starting to make you nervous too. you’re starting to sweat a little underneath your shirt and you can somehow feel it under your skin. “yeah, why?” you ask and open your eyes to look at her face. its all red, her eyes open wide with anxiety, and her mouth slightly parted.

“okay, listen to me and don’t freak out… please.” kate squeaks out and moves her hands away from you. her reactions and jitters cause you to sit up and watch her every move just to make sure she really doesn’t start to freak. theres a feeling in your stomach that can’t really be put into words. it’s that feeling where you wanna throw up because of your nerves and the wanna jump off a bridge before you hear what she says. “i won’t go crazy, you idiot. what’s wrong with you?” you ask with a little chuckle but it quickly fades away when you realize what she’s about to say.

you’re not feeling this because you’re embarrassed of what she’s feeling. you’re just nervous and not used to it. at least thats what you’re telling yourself. there’s a little voice in your head repeatedly telling you to “calm the fuck down!” and it isn’t really helping. your brain is fried from the tiredness you feel too, but this seems really important. “nothing is wrong with me, i just dunno.. need to tell you something before its too late.” she whispers and tilts her head to the side a little, figuring out how she has to say it and if she really should let you know. now that she’s declared that she needs to say this little thing before its ‘too late’ confirms everything you need to know.

“this probably sounds stupid and dumb and i’m going to sound like the biggest loser in the world,” she starts, her voice cracking and her face contorting in different ways you’ve never seen before. in all the years you’ve know kate, shes never been so anxious and nervous about something like this before. its kinda scary. “but i think i’m like.. really in love with you.” she stumbles over her words and buries her face into her hands. it takes you a moment to process what she says as the sleepiness corrupts your mind. “i’m sorry, what?” you mutter.

“i said i like you!!!” kate blurts out and you watch her face turn the reddest you’ve ever seen it. you’ve been with her for almost all of her relationships and this is the first time her face has ever looked like that. her previous partners have never had her like this, they’ve never had her the way you have, and you’re realizing that just now. “oh.” you gulp. the words you’ve been waiting to hear for more than half of your life have finally been said, and it is the greatest relief you’ve ever felt in your life. and everything makes sense now.

the way kate brushes up against you in the halls, the fact she always walks you to your classes no matter how far hers is from it, her taking you to soccer practice, her watching your games like how you watch her, and the fact that you are the reason she blushes like she’s embarrassed herself. although she hasn’t, she’s just so into you, and nothing is gonna change the way she feels. “‘oh?’ is that it?” kate spits out and starts to panic a little. after she’s just admitted, she’s expected something different from you. maybe the same thing? she doesn’t know what she was expecting, it just wasn’t that.

your eyes widen and your face grows redder the longer you stare at her and when your tiny tired peabrain registers that she reciprocates what you feel. “no! that’s not it, stupid, i like you too!” you blurt out as well and push her shoulders. kate has a look of something on her face. you can’t tell what it is but she seems happy about what you said, and that makes your emotions explode. “okay, you know what? i love you, actually! i love you, i love you, i love you!!!!!!!!” you stutter out a bunch of times. years and years of hoping and waiting that she’ll finally do something comes to a stop. “i have my whole damn life.” you murmur, catching your breath slightly from the continuous shouting of your feelings at her. the burning and churning in your stomach goes away and is replaced with a certain sense of relief. a relief that you haven’t felt in ages.

“oh so, you’re serious, serious?”

“yes, okay. i’m not joking, like i meant everything.”

“say you swear or i won’t believe one word you say.”

“i swear on coach dilanni’s life.” you giggle, fingers threading through kate’s blonde strands. her head is propped up on your chest and her eyes are slightly open. you two have been sitting there for about ten minutes, talking about why or how you even got these stupid little feelings for each other. but none of you are complaining. matter of fact, you’re both on the verge of falling asleep but the presence from each other makes you both wanna stay up all damn night if you could.

“he’s not gonna like that...” she murmurs, voice soft and slurring a bit. kate wraps her arms tight around your waist, her head moving into a more comfortable position. your hands are all over the place and you’re basically just messing up her hair, one of her eyes closing when a few strands get in her face. “you have no idea what you’re doing, huh?” her lips turn into that smile you know all too well now, and her eyes closing completely. a yawn escapes from in between your lips and she hears it, snapping her head upwards, that smile turning into a smirk.

“kiss me.”

and you do.

[harmonysanreads]

If you're still taking writing requests or suggestions, may I suggest the 5wirl boys comforting reader after the reader has a nightmare about losing them?

The timing of this ask lol I've been having weird (or interesting depending on the view) nightmares recently as well so some comfort after the disturbing experience would be very appreciated indeed. That aside, my personal headcannon is that all of the anemo boys have nightmares quite regularly, too. So, they'd probably understand better than anyone :)

──⚝ venti

If Venti's not passed out from drinking, it takes little hue and cry for him to notice. At first, he'd freak out a little, checking you over for injuries or anything of that sort. Then, he sighs in relief realizing it was just a nightmare that'd gotten you upset. Immediately, his whole countenance changes and he's guiding you to his hold, rocking you back and forth and vanishing your worries with the bestest melodies. His songs aren't just mere tunes, they're full on declaration of his eternal sentiment — you honestly become a little flustered in your sleepy haze. Venti has no shame admitting what he feels for you though, that cheeky smile you've come to adore never leaving his lips. And even if Venti was passed out from drinking, his tight embrace alone would reassure you that he'd never leave you or let you leave him.

──⚝ aether

One word : panic. He's immediately frantically trying to calm you down, holding you, wiping your tears, making funny faces to bring a smile to your face — the whole shebang. It's almost like you're a child he'd accidentally upsetted instead and when nothing works, starts crying with you, too. You're confused, he's confused and this abnormal reaction calms you down enough to croak out the reason of this predicament. Aether stops dead in the middle of wiping the tears off his face, deadpans and pulls your cheeks. Silly, silly, silly — take a good look at the state he's in, he'd rather drown in his own tears than ever leaving you.

──⚝ kaedehara kazuha

The calmest of the boys, he handles the situation so well that he deserves an award. When he's woken from his sleep with a perturbed you by his side, he's already cradling you in the safest embrace, whispering sweet nothings. He doesn't directly coax you to share your mind, but all his lulling actions offer such a sense of security you cannot help but bare your heart out to him. He's not deterred from his ministrations, either. Ever so intuitive, he guesses something else must've happened for your brain to conjure up something like that. Perhaps it was a person? That could be likely considering his idol disposition. Kazuha frowns, turning you to face him eye-to-eye, his hands hold yours firmly in an oath and he confesses that he belongs, and will forever belong to you and solely you ; this would be changed by no one, not even your subconscious.

──⚝ xiao

I think we all can agree he'd have the most nightmares out of all the anemo boys. Therefore, it's usually you comforting him and making him feel the most blessed man in existence. Xiao is nowhere near ungrateful either, so he harbours great appreciation for your kindness, taking mental notes in case the positions were to be switched. He engraves in his mind how nice it feels when you hold him and run your hand through his hair, humming gentle tunes but never probing him to recount what he'd seen, showing through your actions instead how much you treasure him. He may be extremely inexperienced in all of this but he's quick and determined to learn for you. When the predicted shift did happen though, he was a little panicked as well but not as intense as Aether. If anything, seeing him try so hard to comfort you makes you the happiest anyway. Ends up composing songs to confess the things he couldn't say to you in the moment <3

──⚝ shikanoin heizou

Detective Heizou had sensed something amiss the moment he found the other side of the bed vacant. He at first tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but when a considerable amount of time had passed with no signs of you returning, he decided to follow the clues. A mystery indeed, sounds of sniffing, weary figure— he deducted you were bothered by another nightmare again. Sneakily, he snaked his arms around your form from behind and began spinning you around til you couldn't keep the giggles in and now both of you were laughing like teenagers over silly jokes. Much more relaxed, he asked you what the nightmare was about. With some reluctance, you shared the contents. You felt the earlier horror returning to you but Heizou was having none of it ; scooping you up in a princess carry (you wonder where he gets such strength, honestly), sweet whisperings lost in the moonlight. Sshh, do not worry, just let him show you how much he loves you so that such fickle dreams won't ever bother you again.

[starryredpandawrites]

Bendy Bites 8: Hunting

Guess who's back with another fluffy siblinks idea?

So, after Audrey and Bendy escape the Ink Machine world, adjusting to this new life is going to be especially hard for Bendy in his Ink Demon form. Is it worth it? Absolutely yes. But he’s still going from a world where he can basically do and kill whatever he wants to a functioning society with rules that are very, very different from what he’s used to. I have another post planned I’m going to make about how Audrey goes about teaching him those rules, but that’s a story for another day.

One of his main struggles is going to be with his kill drive. He really enjoyed the thrill of the hunt and lording his power over weaker ink creatures. When he leaves that world, he’s going to miss it. 

Audrey knows this and again, worries that someday he’s going to end up snapping. She’s made back-up plan after back-up plan just in case that happens, but she would prefer to prevent it if possible. (Quick side note: Audrey is completely ride or die for Bendy at this point, and several of her back-up plans include covering up murders)

One thing she tries to do is get him outside as much as possible. This is challenging for many obvious reasons. Eventually, after she learns how to do it, accumulates some supplies, and possibly steals a car, she takes Bendy on regular camping trips. They have to go to some fairly remote locations because the whole point is to get Bendy out into the world in a place he can safely be himself in both forms without worrying about the Gent corporation finding them. 

While they’re camping, at one point Audrey catches the Ink Demon right as he kills something (a bird or a deer or a raccoon idk). Insert image of Ink Demon looking super ashamed like a dog caught with something they know they shouldn't have while he waits for Audrey to scold him.

Initially, Audrey is upset but after some deep thinking she realizes this could be a good thing and lays out some ground rules. 

At least once a year, they’ll go on a hunting trip (this rule is more for Audrey to incentivize him to follow the rest of the rules)

Bendy can only kill what he and Audrey can eat on that trip. No killing just for sport.

If there are any hunting rules for the area they're camping in, such as no killing doe or avoiding certain animals during certain seasons, he has to follow them.

(this one is already a rule but she says it again just to hammer it in) No showing himself to anyone, even if he's mid-hunt. If some rando shows up, he's gotta abandon his prey and leave the area.

Despite rule #4, Audrey knows someone is gonna see him eventually no matter how careful he is but she figures they can get away with some Ink Demon sightings because the woods have a long history of cryptid sightings and she doesn’t think they could get back to the Gent corporation. 

((Quick disclaimer: I’m not a fan of hunting. I won’t judge anyone if that's their interest but if someone offered to take me hunting I would decline. I do think in this specific scenario it would be really good for the Ink Demon to have some sort of outlet for his craving for violence. ))

Anyways, these trips quickly become a tradition and something they both look forward to all year. Audrey didn't really use her time off before this but now she uses every day she can for these vacations. She probably still draws but would change her focus to more nature-oriented things. I could also see her packing paints and mini canvases so she and Bendy can paint nature scenes while they're out there (If you've never done that while camping, I highly recommend it).

Bendy in his toon form is enchanted with nature and spends a lot of time doing little kid things like playing in creeks, running through the trees, staring at weird bugs and bringing them to Audrey so she can scream at them (He probably didn't mean to scare her the first time, but he quickly challenges himself to see what bugs will freak her out the most. Little brother things, yanno?).

When he's in his Ink Demon form he revels in the open spaces. He can run as far and as fast as he wants and he relishes in the freedom. At first, he would be frustrated with the hunting limits Audrey put on him, thinking he should be allowed to kill whatever he pleases, but eventually he develops a deeper understanding and appreciation of nature and only taking what you need. He probably starts watching nature documentaries at home and is like, huh, maybe I shouldn't just kill everything I see just because I can. Life is hard for animals too.

He takes a break from killing deer after watching Bambi for the first time. Audrey ate a lot of weird things that year.

IMAGINE: Audrey buys a book about edible things in nature just for some light reading. Bendy asks her to read it to him and/or reads over her shoulder so when he's out hunting he starts recognizing those things and brings them back to the campsite. Suddenly, he's bringing back less and less fresh kills and more and more roots, berries, and mushrooms. GIVE ME A HUNTER/GATHERER INK DEMON

Okay, this post is getting long so I might need to make a part two for this Bendy Bite lol

Feel free to share any other Siblink camping ideas y'all might have and I might expand on/include them in the next post.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for bringing the girl I loved back from the dead without really thinking about how she’d feel about it?

There’s this girl I love. More than anything. She’s… my best friend. The most important person in the whole wide world. We grew up together, and for a long time she was the only friend I had. She’s amazing, beautiful, and I’d do almost anything for her.

Which is… maybe the problem, I’m starting to think?

You see, I got her killed. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident— the worst mistake I ever made. I… I wanted to get her a gift, and so I hunted down an ancient artifact that I felt was befitting of her, I thought it would be a grand gesture.

But I didn’t understand the forces I was messing with. That thing was evil. It slowly drove her mad, destroying her from the inside out. At first it wasn’t too bad— she was just overconfident, maybe a little mean, but it got worse and worse. She started doing very, vey bad things, culminating in her ruling over our country with an iron fist. She… hurt a lot of innocent people, and she even hurt me. Eventually it got so bad we had to…

Well, me and some new friends I made had to stop her. Permanently.

It’s been a long time since then, and I’ve made a lot of new friends, but I’ve never forgotten that girl: my best friend, the only person I ever loved. I’ve never forgotten the ways that I failed her or how I wished things could have been different.

That was why I was so ecstatic when I realized there was a way for me to meet the grim reaper, recently! I vowed I’d summon it, then bargain with it to reclaim her soul. I’d bring her back, and we’d finally have the happy ending we deserved.

And I WAS able to. Maybe not as easily as I hoped, but I was. And all I had to do was… well, uh…

Sacrifice half of my life span to give it to her, meaning I’ll definitely die young?

But that was a sacrifice I was willing to make! That part I don’t regret! I agreed. Readily.

But when she came back, she was…

Troubled.

The good news is her personality was back to normal— the grim reaper made sure of that, but when I explained what I’d done (NOT the deal, just that I’d revived her) and why she was alive, she… got mad?

She started screaming at me, tears in her eyes. She asked how I could seriously do something like that after “everything she did.” How I could “even bear to look at her after she became such a monster.”

And as she did, something sort of strange happened. Her body started to shift. You see, the girl I loved… she, um, stole a few bodies while she was in the throes of madness, and although she was initially herself when I brought her back, that didn’t last. Her body is constantly changing. Most of the time she’s something in between what she used to look like and who she was at the end of her life. A few friends of mine have theorized it’s because she isn’t really sure who she is anymore, and her body isn’t either.

She freaked out even more. She started to panic, asking “what I’d done to her.” I said I didn’t know. She ended up passing out.

Some friends of mine explained the situation to her— what had happened while she was gone and helped her calm down. The next time I saw her, she was less upset.

She apologized for her outburst, saying it seemed I had “suffered a lot because of her.” She said she didn’t mean to seem ungrateful— she was just scared and haunted by the things she’d done.

I told her it was okay and that we’d work through it together.

But things… haven’t gone swimmingly. We got run out of our home because the rest of our country hates us. She’s still upset about everything she did, especially to me. She won’t even let me call her by her name, saying that after what she did she “no longer deserves it.”

And her body keeps changing. Which is… really hard on her. Her appearance has always been important to her, and she hates how she looks. She says her old body is the body of an ugly, unlovable freak and that her newer body is the body of a sick and evil monster, and that it’s even worse being something in between.

No matter what she looks like on any given day, she hates it, and she’s even started hiding her face. She made us take down all the mirrors at the place we’ve been staying at and wears a mask all the time, saying she “can’t bear to look at herself, and doesn’t want anyone else to see her either.”

It breaks my heart. I still think she’s beautiful, no matter what she looks like, but she doesn’t believe me. She says I’m just saying that to make her feel better.

She… tries to be strong for me. We’re in a relationship now (we couldn’t be before— too many societal customs holding us back). She says she IS grateful for what I did… that she wants to give me the happy ending I deserve after everything I’ve been through, but…

Sometimes I hear her crying in her room at night when she thinks I’m not listening, and I wonder if I made the right decision. I remember the terror and anger she screamed at me with when she first came back and I feel sick to my stomach. She’s always saying these terrible things about herself. She has so much to grapple with. She never actually seems HAPPY.

And even worse, a few other friends of mine recently learned about what I did— the deal I made, that is, and they were very upset with me. They said I shouldn’t have done that— that they couldn’t believe I’d sacrificed my own life.

The girl I love still doesn’t know, but I know if she learned, it would destroy her, too. She’d probably hate herself and hate me even more than she already does. I’m really scared of her finding out.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I made the right decision anymore. I just wanted my friend back, but I’m starting to think I didn’t think about what SHE’D want at all. I didn’t even stop to think about how much guilt she’d have to deal with— all the things she’d have to process.

…Did I do something selfish? And if I did, how can I even begin to fix it?

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

WHWD: AE-Team and C-Team interaction scenario (Conner)

I would like to apologize that it took me so long to send this, was trying to figure out a scenario. The others are still a wip, so who knows when they will be sent

I like to think the scent from a candle help calm down CR whenever she’s overwhelmed with stress. AE-Conner had help CR by informing her which candle scents won’t bother him or C-Conner, but she’s afraid to light them even when C-Conner isn’t around. One day while C-Con was out and CR was overwhelmed, AE-Con encouraged her to light one of the candles while C-Con is away.

No one was aware that C-Con would return sooner that day; and while C-Con was slightly annoyed when he caught a faint scene of a lit candle… it didn’t bothered him at all. He noticed how his counterpart wasn’t bothered by it either (or he probably refuses to even acknowledge it), so no reason to get upset about it… right?

C-Con does bring it up to CR one day, and he will see how she tensed up and become fidgety while avoiding eye contact with him. C-Con is slightly annoyed because it was just a question, but if he were to use his super hearing, he’ll be able to hear how CR’s heart rate is steadily increasing as a panic attack is forming mostly because CR is recalling the time C-Con yelled at her about the candles and believes he’s angry at her again. Luckily someone (who cares for CR well-being) was there to notice the signs and intervened, guiding CR away while she quickly mutters an apologize to C-Con. C-Con is just confused now at how CR reacted. It sort of… scares him a bit to see someone who’s not an enemy, but a teammate, be afraid of him.

I'm so sorry I took so long to reply to this. I was going through personal shit but now that I'm better, I'm getting back to writing and stuff I thought I'd take another shot at answering this

I like where it's going and I really wanna love this but I just don't think that any version of Conner would be this empathetic, AE or not. But I do definitely agree with the first part. AER and AE-Conner most definitely went out for a designated candle shopping day and he almost passed out in a bath and body works.

It was interspaced with many breaks, temper tantrums and lowkey panic attacks (Conner was the one panicking not AER). So they both kind of collaborated and compromised. AER chose a scent that was barely there and also soothing to him. But since the trip, she's been very careful about lighting them. (Not out of fear but just consideration for him)

If C-Conner had calmly explained to YJR why the candles bothered him so much instead of freaking out and yelling at an already insecure version of her they probably would have come to the same conclusion.

But no such luck.

I don't think AE Conner would have helped YJR pick another candle scent because at this point, he already knows his counterpart hates any single scent and he'd be more concerned about why YJR is so panicked and anxious whenever he tries to talk to her.

It's like she's scared of him

And he realizes very quickly he needs to knock some sense into C-Conner

Basically tells him to get his shit together, stop acting like a little bitch and apologize for throwing a hissy fit.

C-Conner does not take it well but does admit that it's unfair of him to make a big deal about just lighting a candle and reluctantly agrees to apologize.

Boy, it does not go well.

YJR won't even make eye contact with him and he can practically hear how loud your heart is ramming against your ribs. The amount of stimulation disturbs him more than the scent of a candle. He can practically feel his eardrums vibrating with each beat.

YJR just wants to run away and looks for the quickest moment to cut the conversation short.

Luckily AE-Conner catches them just in time and is like "I thought I told you to apologize?"

C-Conner is just like "I'm trying!"

"Clearly not hard enough! She's terrified!"

And it's then he realizes that the heart pounding in your chest is because you were scared of him. Not because you were nervous, or awkward or shy. You were frightened. Of him in particular.

And then he realized just how badly he had been behaving and understands that when it comes to you, he needs to be even more gentle.

He doesn't want anyone to fear him. Not like this.

He offers a sincere apology and then next week YJR finds a bottle of lotion on her table. It's the same scent as her favourite candle.

"I know it's not a candle but I hope this is a good compromise."

YJR applies it every time she feels anxious and when C-Conner can smell it, he knows that she needs comforting.

[snugglebeans3000]

MMMMMMM Laza you know how you pick out some gOOd hc’s for me to brEw

Tsubasa would constantly stumble upon Ryuga randomly in the woods like he’s discovering a freaking Cryptid. There have been many times where Ryuga doesn’t realize that Tsubasa is close and Tsubasa just suddenly is there behind him asking him what he’s doing all the way out in this part of the woods. Ryuga would get freaked out by this at least twice a week.

I think Ryuga when they first met thought Tsubasa was pretty cool. Not that he would ever admit to it of course. This is mostly based on the fact that the only time that Ryuga ever stammered in fusion was when he was battling Tsubasa on top of the roof of the dark nebula right before Tsubasa was rescued by Phoenix. The thought of him being like ‘I gotta make this sound EXTRA cool’ but then stumbling over his words like an absolute dork is so very funny to me

Tsubasa would TOTALLY recommend books for Ryuga to read. For a while, I had an HC that Ryuga actually had dyslexia, and so it would be hard for him to read most things, but I think if I were to incorporate that hc into this one, I feel like Tsubasa would realize that he has trouble with reading and patiently help him through it. That is, if Ryuga had the humility to accept his help most of the time.

As I’ve said before, Ryuga is VERY intrigued by Tsubasa’s Eagle. Seeing such a cool animal up close is amazing and he does love all sorts of critters. However, this love is not reciprocated because Eagle remembers what Ryuga did to Tsubasa. The only time that Eagle will calm down enough for Ryuga to get close is when he’s perched on Tsubasa’s arm— and even then he will puff up and hiss.

Ryuga would randomly break into Tsubasa’s cabin and steal herbs and cooking spices so much that if Tsubasa came home and saw Ryuga climbing through his kitchen window he wouldn’t be surprised. Ryuga pays him back by leaving fish, mushrooms, and sometimes random bones at his door. He would leave the bones because he thinks they're cool.

Actuallyactuallyactually working off of some of your HC of Tsubasa knowing sign language because he was non-verbal is something that I really really enjoy in the fact that would be something that Ryuga and Tsubasa would bond over. Ryuga would give a lot of nonverbal cues when he is overstimulated and Tsubasa would probably be the only one able to translate what he’s trying to communicate. On the other hand, Ryuga would enjoy having someone to communicate with more freely. Both would try and learn ASL and would practice with each other.

It’s a little bit complicated with how Tsubasa’s friendship with Ryuga would work. After everything Ryuga’s done– the dark power, how he hurt his friends, how he abandoned Yu… It’s not something that can be easily dismissed. The man is insane– And that’s something that Tsubasa can recognize, but Tsubasa also knows he’s changed. Granted– it is a SLOW change, but he knows it’s happening. There are often times when Tsubasa will lose his patience trying to put up with Ryuga’s unknown insensitivity, and this causes Ryuga to grow distant. This is mostly what puts a gap in their friendship from growing, because on some level, Ryuga does think that all the bad things that are said about him are true and so he isolates himself even more trying to avoid making any more harmful mistakes. He steers clear of Tsubasa’s cabin when Yu comes to visit, lest he upset the little guy by his mere presence. Most of the feelings he has towards their friendship is based on guilt that Ryuga can’t get over. Needless to say they don’t interact much anymore. I think on some sort of level, Tsubasa actually likes it that way.

[swamp-spirit]

So I have a hoarding problem -

I haven't accepted this until very recently. I knew I 'struggled to keep my house clean', I even knew mental illness was a big part of this, but I never called it hoarding. It's even more recent that I'd be able to talk about it, but I've been learning how common it is, especially for people with anxiety, depression, ADHD, and OCD, so I wanted to talk a bit about my experience because I think it might help somebody else. Hoarding makes you feel gross and disgusting. It makes you feel like you should just go die and clean the world up a little.

If you see yourself in any of this, I want you to know that's good. Accepting this was a problem felt... physically painful, but it has been such a relief. Hoarding is usually less of a mental illness and more of a symptom of other mental illnesses. Realizing so many of my issues were rooted not just in executive function issues, but how those issues combined with my OCD. Like many other issues, the biggest turning point in hoarding is accepting that

A) You have a problem

B) You can get better

I feel so lucky to have realized what was happening so young (I'm thirty, while my two relatives with hoarding refused to deal with it until their 60s and 70s).

I knew my wife had hoarding issues. (FYI, she read over this and it's all shared with permission) She has what I've always thought of as hoarding: sentimental hoarding. It's the kind I think gets talked about the most, but some of the most emotionally painful to deal with. For various reasons, holding onto stuff from her past is really important to her, and it can be hard to get rid of any objects she connects to certain times, experiences, and people. I was able to recognize this as hoarding, but it took me a lot longer to recognize my own problem.

Two years ago, I moved into a new apartment with my wife. We never unpacked most of the boxes. Instead, they slowly became buried.

We couldn't use most of our house. I couldn't access most of my things. The shame was... intense. Every time apartment maintenance had to come in for three minutes to check something, I'd have panic attacks the whole week. Even now, even knowing it might help other people, it's hard for me to discuss the details of how my home looked and smelled. I never had a friend over the whole time I lived there.

So it turns out what I mostly deal with is trash hoarding.

On syndicated hoarding freak shows, trash hoarding is combined with sentimental hoarding. We can be fascinated by how anybody could have an emotional attachment to a bunch of old soda cans.

But I didn't have any attachment to my kitchen full of dirty, empty peanut butter jars. No, I just “cared about the planet”.

Let's break down how 'wanting to recycle' can become life-ruining.

OCD – I have, during quarantine, realized a lot of the overwhelming shame that's dominated my life is a form of OCD called 'moral-scrupulosity'. I want to go through life never doing harm, never hurting anyone's feelings, having any 'bad' opinions, liking any 'bad' media, or thinking any 'bad' thoughts. When I was in my agoraphobia phase, I became so scared of stepping on an insect that the thought of moving upset me.

Recycling is a big part of this. Being a human that creates waste is unacceptable. If it can be recycled, it should be. If it can't be, I shouldn't buy it. If I need it, ???. I should die? Self-flagellate until my carbon sins are atoned?

Hole covered shirts could be mended or cut into rags! And that broken laptop, wow, you can just get rid of a whole laptop? Okay, Bezos. People are starving to death, but I guess we can just afford to not salvage that for parts.

My parents are fantastic at recycling. They buy most things used, recycle everything they can, including driving boxes of sorted items out to the dump since there isn't a robust recycling program in my hometown.

So shouldn't I just be an obsessive recycler? Well, that's where we get

ADHD & Physical Disability

If you have the obsessive need to recycle, and the ability to recycle, you still have a problem. You may have a clean house and a reduced carbon footprint, but it will never feel good enough, because that's not how OCD works.

On the other hand, if you have the obsessive need to recycle, but not the ability... well, that's when you get 30 moldy peanut butter jars scattered throughout your kitchen. Which makes cleaning anything else in your kitchen more overwhelming, which makes it harder to get to the jars, and you're well on your way to spending the next decade hating yourself more and more as your home turns into a biohazard.

My apartment wasn't filled with trash because I 'thought it might be useful', my house was filled with trash because I was physically and mentally unable to recycle, but felt like accepting this and throwing it in the garbage was unforgivable. It doesn't help that there are people who will treat this as unforgivable, who won't understand why I felt the task was insurmountable, but it was, and I wasn't recycling. If I'd kept up what I was doing, all I would have done would be leaving a mess for somebody else to clean up when I died.

It Takes Two!

If I didn't have OCD, I could probably accept my limits and recycle what I could instead of trying to meet impossible standards. Actually, I'd probably recycle more if it was easier to give myself a clean work area. If I didn't have ADHD, I'd probably, you know, recycle the damn peanut jars more often.

Obviously this isn't the combination for everyone. Perhaps throwing things away makes you anxious, but depression has sapped your motivation to sort them.

Listen, if there's parts of your house you can't use (a room, a door, etc), if you're afraid to have people over because there's a pile of trash, it's time to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you're hoarding.

If you are, qualified help is probably best. There are professionals, both mental health and organization specialists, who do this for a living. There are also many great books on the subject and related subjects. (A friend recently recommended 'How to Keep House When You're Drowning' and I think it contains some great advice.)

One of the biggest things that has changed, however, is realizing why I act the way I do has been vital to getting myself out of it. I spent years trying to shame myself into keeping a cleaner space. Recently, I've been working on a practical, compassionate approach, figuring out how to make cleaning more accessible and tolerable. It's worked better than shame, but... well, it didn't clean the damn peanut butter jars, and it didn't convince me to throw them out.

I thought that keeping trash around to recycle later was better than throwing it out and ‘giving up’. It turns out keeping trash around actually just filled my house with trash, and seeing the overall pattern really helped me make those hard decisions. During my move across state, I got rid of three broken laptops. My wife and I recycled, donated, and, when necessary, trashed about half of what was in our home and... it's such a relief. It was hard. It was painful. I am so glad I did it.

I am not cured. Not falling into the same patterns will take work. I will need help. My home will never be clean enough to make that voice that says I'm disgusting and don't deserve to exist shut up, but I have been fighting that fight for years and have long passed the place where that felt pointless.

The shame is still raw, but shame makes you want to not talk about it, and... I know how much easier the past few years would have been if I'd seen more people openly talk about struggling with cleaning or hygiene, and when they do, somebody always comes in to say “actually, it's not acceptable to let it get that bad. You should be (showering every day/mopping every week/cleaning your sheets every week/recycling everything you can)”. Any attempt to provide comfort and connection when your struggle is less “my counter is a bit cluttered” and more “I can no longer use my kitchen” is met with the accusation that you're enabling bad behavior, that you are disgusting, you should be ashamed, and maybe if you just try, you won't be so gross. Honestly, I’ve really only ever heard about hoarding from the perspective of people struggling with a loved ones hoarding, and though dealing with a loved one's mental health struggles is painful and people should be encouraged to openly talk about it, if us hoarders don’t talk, it means only hearing about our mental illness from the perspective of how difficult it makes things for other people. (or with a recovery arc that fits into a 45 minute episode)

I can't say I'm not ashamed. I have a hoarding problem, it got bad, not even half as bad as it can get, but bad, and the shame is still enough to make me too ill to eat, but I am starting to feel like I don't deserve that shame. And if you struggle with hoarding, or any other problem you feel like is too 'gross' to talk about, I want to tell you that you don't deserve to feel this way.

[quartings]

Just some thoughts on “Open-Mindedness” …

There might be a more accurate psychology term for what I’m trying to describe, but I’ll try and sum it up here as best I can.

Lately I’ve realized that a mental trap most people get themselves into is building up preconceptions of things and letting them act as a sort of “negativity filter” forever. Like everything that comes from a bad person/show/movie/group has to be bad, instead of acknowledging that bad things can all range from say, 0% good to 49% good (Just simplifying for clarity, this isn’t exact math of course) Because it’s simpler and easier to say all bad things are 100% bad- and because sometimes we’re worried other people will hate us if we say anything positive about a bad thing, even if it’s true.

To provide a much less confusing example, let’s use CinemaSins. On the surface, there’s nothing wrong with criticizing the bad parts of movies and stories. Feedback and criticism is a good part of helping storytellers improve, after all. The real problem comes from the fact that sinning movies is their business.

This means that in order to make money and survive, the people behind the channel have to constantly be looking for bad movies to critique, or more importantly, good movies to find flaws in. And regardless of whether the criticism is good content for their audience, having that mindset all the time probably isn’t great for the channel owners. They HAVE to reach a certain sin quota per movie so the video is long enough, and each flaw is usually worth 1 sin, no matter how big or small. The movie saying child abuse is good is worth 1 sin, but also a character’s socks changing color between scenes is also worth 1 sin. If they stop hating things, they run out of content to make money off, so they HAVE to keep hating things forever or else. And I do feel kind of bad for them because of that.

So, because no movie is perfect, even if someone watches a fantastic movie with a CinemaSins mentality, they’re going to find small flaws (or even good things that could be better) that will lower their enjoyment of their things. This isn’t to say that the flaws don’t exist, of course they still do. Just that the flaws aren’t worth being upset over.

And so, I’ve noticed that having this kind of mentality for simple things can risk it bleeding through into big things as well. People who aren’t racist/sexist/etc can still discriminate just as badly based on other stereotypes and preconceptions because of this. Being a jerk to someone because they like pineapple on pizza can be just as bad if not worse than racism depending on how harshly the discriminator acts on their beliefs. (To clarify, I don’t like pineapple on pizza) I will admit I have been and still kinda am guilty of stuff like this, too.

Essentially, you run the risk of becoming that kind of tiger parent who freaks out at their kid for getting 99% on a test because of that missing 1%.

It’s really hard to address this issue because oftentimes it sounds like a whole lot of “Just think positively and you’ll be happier!” which is NOT what I’m trying to say at all, don’t worry. As a kid, whenever something bad happened to me, certain adults would say “Don’t be sad! Try to find something positive about this tragedy and be happy about it!” Which would never work at all, because you can’t magically fully convert a bad thing into a good thing with positive thinking. Positive thinking can’t really counter chronic major problems like illnesses, abuse, or climate anxiety. The tips I’m about to suggest are only meant to remedy minor problems.

First, if you’re ever feeling annoyed or anxious about something- just take a break. Hating it won’t make it go away, it’ll still be there for you to hate when you come back from your break. Arguing with people, online or in real life, won’t make it go away either. That doesn’t mean it’s not bad, just that putting in extra energy to hate isn’t worth it. For example, imagine if I dedicated all future posts on this blog to hating on the people who cancelled Bionicle twice, instead of posting art and animations. Do those people deserve that much hatred? Yes and more, actually! But unless I magically gain the power to painfully disintegrate all of them at once, hating them isn’t going to make anyone’s lives better, especially not for you guys, who would probably prefer if I spent my time on more productive things instead.

Second, it can also be helpful to take a step back and think about WHY exactly you love or hate a thing. Is it consistent with your other preferences? You’d be surprised at how many people there are out there who say things like “I hate musicals because characters who stop to sing are unrealistic, and also my favorite movie is (movie that has musical numbers in it)” or “I hate CGI, it always looks so fake. Also my favorite movie is (movie with tons of good un-noticeable CGI)”

Finally, and this is a little harder to do, is to take the energy from hating bad things and channel it not into liking bad things, but liking good things. Sing praises of things you love without putting other things down! Is there an underrated thing in your life you wish more people knew about? Let everyone know how much you like it and why you like it! Here’s one for me- I only discovered tres leches cake last year, and now it’s my favorite kind of cake. I can’t believe I’ve never heard anyone talk about it for most of my life, it’s amazing! Literally cake marinated in icing!

Is there something you love from many years ago that you forgot about until now? Revisit it and take a fun nostalgic trip down memory lane! For me, I’ve recently dived down the Animorphs rabbit hole again- man that was such a good book series.

But yeah, I hope this has helped some of you with anything you may be dealing with! I was inspired to make this because I recently met an unbelievably positive and kind person, and wanted to try my hand at passing some of that along! Thanks for reading this far!

[iguessitsjustme]

Now I’m upset at em because when he had the time to fix the situation with name he just made it seem like name shouldn’t feel the way he is feeling also I hated how he got frustrated when mama didn’t answer him as fast as he normally would (now you see how name feels every time you said you would call but didn’t) that part made me so freaking mad! I was heated but to go to his mama like what plan does he have with his mother? Neither of them realize they are making him pull himself even more away from both of them

Hello my dear anon!

So I'm going to preface this by saying that I am also angry at Em. I don't think he's handling the situation very well and I am glad the rest of the friend group is keeping him in check. I also love Name so much. I would sell my soul for Name's happiness.

That being said, I don't think Em deserves all of the hate he is getting here on tumblr.com. I think it's important that despite his flaws, we recognize that he is still trying. He is now making a concentrated effort to let Name know when he is unavailable. He is trying.

I'm not sure who was on the other end of that phone call. I really hope it wasn't Name's mom because I would be livid. But I am going to hold off on my judgement and my anger until I am 100% sure. But even if it is Name's mother, Em has no way to know what she's been putting Name through. He's not there. He hasn't heard her guilt Name for not speaking. As far as he knows, Name is pulling away and isolating himself because he's left behind and lonely and it has nothing to do with his muteness.

And I love Name. Absolutely adore him and I will tear the world down if it meant he would start smiling again. But I think it's also important that we don't put Name on this pedestal of being some sort of perfect person incapable of mistakes. Not that he's made any mistakes. BUT as much as I love him and as much as it is not his fault, he is actively pushing the people closest to him away. He is choosing words that will hurt everyone, including himself. Again, it's in no way his fault, but I think it's important to note that the person on the receiving end of those messages is Em. Em is allowed to be hurt by them too. And when he noticed Name is being self destructive, his first instinct was to call...someone. Presumably someone he thought was in a position to help Name.

I don't think Em realizes the full extent of what Name is going through because he has no way to know. He's far away and he will only know what Name tells him. So from Em's perspective, he is super busy and exhausted all the time, and Name is lashing out about that. Because, again, Em has no way to know what Name's mother is doing to him. To Em, it's just a silly fight because he doesn't know any better. To Em, it's just Name angry that he's not available all of the time and it has nothing to do with his muteness. And Em is still trying to keep in contact. He's still trying to let Name know. He really listened to Gun's advice and he is trying. But he is not responsible for how Name responds. He can't control how upset Name is. And he can't help Name if he doesn't know what actually is wrong.

And as much as I love Name and as much as I want to rake his mother over the coals for her treatment of him, at some point, Name has to tell Em what's really bothering him. And trust me, I get it. I know how hard that is. I am also a person that tends to isolate myself and go silent when I'm going through it, but it's not the world's responsibility to fix my problems. My friends can't help if they don't know.

So while Em has most definitely fucked up, and owes Name the hugest of apologies, I think it's important to remember that he is still young and he is still human. He might be the catalyst for Name's breakdown but he's not the cause. Name's mother guilting him and pressuring him to "fix" himself when there's nothing wrong is the cause and she's the one placing all of the burden to help her son in the hands of Em, who seems like he's also struggling to keep it together.

[timeoverload]

Everything sort of makes sense now. I stumbled across some new information by accident that I wish I would have known before. I just got on facebook for the first time in a while to see if I had any notifications and got sent down the rabbit hole. I am not going to get back on there again for a long time because something bad happens every time I do. I'm not trying to be creepy and sometimes things just pop up. I guess the universe has a way of presenting information to me when I'm ready to receive it. Sometimes I just have to find things out the hard way.

Obviously I still don't know the whole story so I'm not going to jump to conclusions right now. I wish I knew what was going on but I'm not going to freak out about it anymore. I'm not going to be angry about anything. I'm not trying to attack you or make you feel bad. I hope this doesn't upset you and I don't want to embarrass you. I don't want to be rude. I am hurting a lot but I will be ok. I suppose it's none of my business otherwise you would have told me yourself. I respect your privacy and I understand now why you have been so secretive. I know that you have been through a lot of trauma and I don't want to add to that. I don't want you to feel like you have to share anything with me unless you feel comfortable doing so.

I'm actually very calm right now surprisingly. I'm very thankful that I took my anxiety meds earlier. I do feel kind of dumb for getting so worked up about things in the past. I feel really bad. I have made a fool of myself the past couple years but at least it has helped me grow a lot as a person. I have learned a lot about myself that I probably wouldn't have figured out otherwise. I realize that I have had a lot of issues that you weren't prepared to help me with and I don't expect you to do anything for me. I'm sure you have a lot going on too. I understand that you need to be there for your son and take care of him because that's very important. I can tell that you are a good dad.

This whole situation has been very confusing for me and I've felt like I've been kept in the dark for so long but I get it. I don't feel so crazy now and that's a relief. I knew that you were trying to avoid scaring me away or hurting me. I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to leave you alone. I'm still here if you ever want to talk about stuff someday.

Thank you for listening to me all this time when no one else did. I still appreciate you and everything you have done for me. I wouldn't have made it though a lot of tough times without your support. I don't know if I would still be here if I hadn't met you. Thank you for being so respectful and patient with me because I know I can be difficult sometimes. I know that you are a good person and you have been so sweet to me. I think you are still very special to me and I will always care about you. You are still my favorite person. I still trust you and feel safe with you. I'm still glad the universe let me meet you. I really hope that you are doing ok and I truly want you to be happy no matter what happens. I worry about you all the time and wish I could be there for you. I miss you. I'm always thinking of you.

I think I need a couple days to process things so I might not be on here as much. I will be more active once I'm feeling better. I want to reiterate that I am fine and I'm not going to have an episode. I want to apologize again for acting so crazy in the past. I'm not sure if I'm going to sleep much tonight either so I will probably be too tired to post much. My medication is starting to make me feel loopy so I should probably be quiet now since I'm starting to have a difficult time thinking clearly. Tomorrow is going to be a rough day but I'm going to stay positive anyway. I know that things will get better in the future. I hope that you have a good day tomorrow and enjoy the rest of your week.

Maxwell, I love you unconditionally.

💖💖💖💖💖💖

[marvelous-maeve]

11. ”Please don’t say anything, just stay. Please?”

reader sees a hurt billy but he says this before reader can freak out too badly

Thank you so much for all the requests darling!! A few of them should be out today, I hope you enjoy these!! <3

Reader if gender neutral/POC friendly! (0.4k words)

Adjusting my headphones, I turn on up the volume on my Walkman - Mӧtley Crüe blasting my ear drums. Mӧtley Crüe isn’t usually my sort of jam, but god does it remind me of him, Billy. The hot-heated boy who has learnt in recent times how to control his anger around me (thank God). 

I continue to copy down stupid history facts for my history assignment due tomorrow; suddenly my window starts to inch open. I don’t realize it happening until it’s fully open, and a body is suddenly falling through the relatively small gap. I shriek and throw my Walkman at the person as hard as I can, and by the gruff grunt because of the force, I see it’s Billy.

“Christ, princess. You tryna kill me?” he says, jokingly, standing up and rubbing his neck in pain. 

“Oh my God, Billy! What the hell is wrong with you?! I coulda killed you with that thing!” I yell back in frustration, clearly I’m upset by the oaf of a man randomly lugging himself through my window at one in the morning.

“Killed by a Walkman, what a way to go, huh?” he tosses my Walkman, chuckling, clearly not convinced that I have the strength to. “Sorry, tho. I didn’t mean to scare you, hon.” he seems genuine in his apology so I tug his hand to sit next to me on my bed. “You okay, B?” I ask, “You seem a bit dull, something happened?”.

He looks away from me, purposefully not catching my eye; “Nah, nothing you should worry about, doll.” I raise my eyebrows, clearly not convinced, “Just some shit at home, the usual.” he rolls his eyes and falls back into my pillows with a dramatic sigh. His shirt rides up as he does this, revealing a few yellow bruises on his arms and stomach. I go to run my hands across them gently, he flinches, I pull away.

“Billy-”

“Please don’t say anything, just stay.” he pleads, patting his chest. “Please.” his voice breaks ever so slightly, but it’s enough to break my heart. 

“Oh B, I’m sorry.” I say, moving towards his chest to ease him. It’s almost like I can feel the ache in his heart by just laying on his chest. “You’re always safe with me, you know that right?” I murmur under my breath, just loud enough so he can hear. His hand runs through my hair, my hands run down his arms in acts of comfort to each other. 

“I know, sweetheart,” he looks me in the eye for the first time tonight. “I know.” his hand soon falls from my hair, soft snores indicating his slumber. A smile breaks across my face. I reach to stroke his cheek gently, “You’re home now, you’re always safe here.” I smile again, sleep fog dazing me, “always.”

***********************************************************************

[arkhamsrevenge]

Lost and Resurrected Pt. 2

A little while later, Jason and I were still walking away from the house of Al Ghul.  

“Alive.” Jason finally whispered.  

“Yeah. Yeah, we both are.” I whispered back.  

“No, no, the Joker’s still alive. He killed me and he’s still alive to murder and maim and hurt others. Why didn’t Batman...why didn’t...” 

“Why didn’t Batman kill the Joker? He hasn’t any other time the Joker killed someone.” I said softly.  

“I’m different. I was Robin.” HOLD THE PHONE WHAT?!?! 

“You-I-UH what?” I stuttered. Jason stopped walking. “You’re..you were Robin so that means you personally knew Batman. And Batman is Bruce Wayne.” I can’t believe I didn't put that together sooner. Shit. Jason nodded slowly.  

“How’d you put that together?” 

“I know you’re the boy Jason Todd who died in a bombing in Ethiopia caused by The Joker.” I answered.  

“Who are you?” Jason asked. I blinked, realizing we never got far introduction wise.   

“Y/N L/N.” I answered.   “Wait. Elliots kid?” I nodded. “You’re the daughter of Thomas Elliot the world-famous doctor.?” I nodded again. “You’re supposed to be dead.” I smirked.   “So are you.” Jason shook his head.  

“Fuck. This is nuts. Do you remember what happened?”  

“Uh, no. I remember my dad calling to me and then nothing. I woke up in the pit, then I was next to you.” I lowered my eyes.  

“Huh.” Then Jason kept walking. I followed him, like a lost puppy. Where was I supposed to go? Suddenly Jason stopped and turned back around. “I have no idea how to even tell you this, but your father is dead. Shot by the Joker after he abused an Oprea.” Jason’s vomit left me speechless. How long have I been dead? My father’s now dead? Why wasn’t I crying or breaking down? What’s wrong with me? 

“How do you know?” I asked calmly. Jason’s eyes were burning into me waiting for a bigger reaction.  

“I-was there. Next to Bruce Wayne.” I blinked, hello? Why aren’t I sad? 

“They were childhood best friends.” I stated. Jason seemed to be waiting, for a tear, a sob, anything.  

“Yeah.” 

“Huh.” I mimicked Jason’s cool tone from earlier then started walking again. Jason soon followed behind me.  

“Where are we going?” Jason asked.  

“I don’t know to be honest.” I answered.  

“Are you ok?” Jason’s tone was odd, like he was sort of freaked out. I stopped to face him.  

“Uh, yeah. I’m...good.” I said smiling. I felt pretty good, free.  

“Really?” Jason grabbed my shoulders hard, bringing me close. “Because I just flat out told you that your father is dead and you’re smiling.” He said through his teeth. His grip was stronger than before and HURT. But still, I wasn't upset or felt scared. Just nothing. “Yeah. As I said, I’m good.” I blinked not knowing what else he wanted. Jason studied with me a bit more. “You’re gonna leave bruises.” I finally said after a couple of minutes of silence. Jason let go instantly. Like I was the one hurting him. 

“Sorry. I just...I’m angry right now.” I shrugged.  

“You have every right to be. Batman’s supposed to protect people. Protect you and when he didn’t. He could have at least killed the Joker. I mean, he killed you, his Robin.” Jason’s eyes met mine.  

“Batman never did care about his Robins anyway. I think I know why I was brought back.” I tilted my head. “I’m back to do what must be done. I’m going to kill Batman. I’m to kill the myth of him as well.” Jason growled.  

“Funny thing about a myth. It wasn’t real to begin with.” I said my eyes were brightening. Jason thought for a second, his brow furrowed. He swallowed and opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but was hesitant.  

“I’d like to help.” I said, taking his anxiety away a bit. Jason relaxed his brow.  

“OK.” I smiled again.  

“OK.” I stretched out my hand to Jason. He took my hand into his. He’s still cold. His hands felt like ice.  

“OK Y/N, keep up. You’re in for a hell of a ride.”  

Jason took me back to Gotham City where he is currently in a ridiculous-looking black wet suit attaching a bomb to the Batmobile. I watched, ready with the detonator in hand. Jason was going to give a signal when he was all set and out of range.  He attached the bomb successfully and slunk away.  I watched him like a hawk. He perched himself a couple of feet away from my hiding spot. Batman appeared and got into his Batmobile. My thumb sat on the trigger; eyes focused on Jason. Waiting for him to give me the signal. My heart pounded in my ears, my lips were dry, and my eyes were starting to sting from not blinking. Afraid I’d miss the signal, but it never came. Jason just kept staring at the Batmobile. Eventually, it drove away.  I molded into the shadows as Jason made his way back over to me. Without a word he took the detonator and started walking away. I followed a few inches behind him.  Soon we entered our safe house. 2 bedrooms, one bath, and a small kitchen. All founded by Talia.   

“It’s not what you guys think.” Jason finally said his back hunched, hands gripping the sink. “I didn’t lose my nerve.” Talia appeared behind me, her eyes flickering to me and then back to Jason. “I just...it would have been too easy.” I breathed out a laugh.  

“You want more.” Jason faced Talila and me. “You want more, yes?” Jason closed his eyes and nodded. “So, let’s take more than just the myth. Let’s take the city, the wealth, the crime. EVERYTHING. Watch him watch his city turn on him, then end him. That part you do yourself of course.” I added. Jason opened his eyes and a ghost of a smirk appeared.  

“You’re nuts. But right. I want all that and more. Will you help me?” Jason asked.  

“Me or Talia?” I questioned. Jason paused for a moment.  

“Both.” I turned to Talia.  

“Of course,” she stated, lowering her eyes. I didn’t know it then, but she would tell me later that at that moment she realized she had released a curse upon this world.  

Talia paid for us to spend time with this German named Egon. He’s a hit make for hire with...side hustles let's say and drinks the same gross ass cherry energy drink all day. Wonder how this guy sleeps but anyway, he refused to teach me because I’m a woman but at night when everyone's asleep, Jason teaches me everything. I also...stole some books from Egon. He has a lot of books on the mystic arts. Heaven knows why but during the day when Jason is training, I teach myself magic. There’s some dark shit in here but hey, this will give us an advantage. So, I read practice, and learn all I can. I even wrote all my shit in code that only I read just in case some of Egon’s guys go snooping. One of them already tried something with me. It was late, Jason was asleep, just came back from getting x-rays of his ribs, they were broken but I fixed them. He just needed to sleep off the wave of exhaustion that took over him after he was finally not in pain, though he tried to hide it from me. I had walked to the bathroom, usually, Jason would have been with me as he insists on doing so, (I don’t know why concerning he doesn’t care if I die but whatever). Anyway, I was walking back when a man whistled at me. I ignored it when,  

“It’s not polite to ignore someone,” I remember picking up the pace a bit more annoyed if anything.  “Hey, bitch. I’m talking to you!” This guy roared and grabbed me by the throat, pinning me against the wall. “I haven’t been this close to a woman long.” His breath reeked of tobacco.   “And you won’t get this one.” I sneered, I raised my hand and grabbed the one holding my throat. It broke instantly. The man screamed in agony on his knees. I grabbed his jaw and snapped that too. “Now you can’t use this dirty mouth for a while.” And then I left him there, screaming. Jason had woken up from the noise, noticed I was gone, and met me just before I entered our room. He was about to yell at me when his eyes caught something on my neck. I bet that jackass left a mark. Oh well. “Yes?” I questioned. His eyes slowly looked back up at mine. He then moved aside and let me walk into our shared room. I was headed for my bed when Jason caught my wrist. He closed the door behind him and locked it. Jason’s hand moved from my wrist to the top of my back, the other clicked the light switch above us. He then slowly bent me backward; taking his free hand and placing it behind my head. I was confused at first but then realized he was trying to look at my neck more closely but didn’t want me to stain it by looking up. I didn’t dare move, but we stayed like that for a couple of seconds until he brought me back up again. My eyes never leaving him, I wondered what on earth was going through his head. Then, then, he did something even odder, he took the hand that was resting on the top of my back and started to trace all over my throat.  

“Does this hurt?” Jason’s voice was quiet. We’ve been here 3 months and never once had he acted like...this. Whatever this is. I stepped away from him slowly. Taking his hand in mine and placing it by his side.  

“No. I’m good. Go back to sleep, you had broken ribs today.” Jason was about to say something when I clicked the light back off. But that morning, Jason was Jason again. Scoffing at me reading all the “magic bullshit” books that LITERALLY healed his ribs not too long ago. He complained like always at the end of the day when I asked him to teach me everything, he learned that day. Even though Jason constantly told me I was a pain in his ass, he never went to sleep without knowing I mastered everything he had.   

“Hey, Princess,” Ah and yes Jason started calling me ‘Princess’ cause I’m cooped up all day reading like I’m locked in a tower. I closed my book and looked up at him.  

“Yeah?” I called back.  

“We gotta go.” I blinked  

“Why?”  

“Egon’s running a child trafficking ring and we gotta catch up to the truck he has with all the kids in it and then kill him.” Jason explained. I sat there for a second, then raised my hand, and instantly all our things were packed up.  

“OK, lead the way.”  

[harveybwabbit92]

Misunderstanding: Emmet x Reader.

Summary: You are a drag king who works a host bar, and had had just moved in with your boyfriend Emmet, things seem to be going great! until you get a strange text from Elesa...

===============================================

{Get your cheating ass over here and pack your shit.] You stared at your phone baffled as you were were washing off your make-up off, you had to read it a few times just to confirm it was really Elesa's number and not a wrong number. You texted her back asking what she was talking about, what was going on? but she left you on read... You finished up, got dressed in your hoodie and jeans, said good bye to the guys, and caught a cab as you exited the bar and went straight home, as soon as you walked through the front door a suitcase was throw at you! and a seething Elesa stood before you.

"Elesa, what the hell?! you snapped rubbing the sore spot on your shoulder where suitcase had hit you. "Shut up, get your shit together I can't believe I considered you my friend!" she was shaking in anger, again you were confused as to what the hell this was about? and tried to calm the model down, but your voice just seemed to irritate her more! Before you knew it Elesa had marched into your room and started throwing your clothes, shoes and decorations at you while screaming "Stop acting innocent! you know what you did!" all you could do was curl into a ball and cry as she yelled all sorts of profanities at you.

That's what Emmet walked into as he had also gotten a weird text from Elesa, telling him that she knows something about you that will hurt him, and not to come back to his apartment until she's dealt with you! Freaked out Emmet called out of work early and rushed home, to find his best friend attacking his S/o! "What the hells going on here?!" Emmet snapped. "Emmet I told you to stay away!" Elesa huffed as she stopped throwing things at you.

 "I don't know.." you sobbed completely shaken by Elesa's violent reaction, the model glared at you. "Just admit your cheating on Emmet!" She sneered is disdain as Emmet and you gawked at her like she grown eight heads, Emmet spoke up as you were shaken up to speak. "What are you talking about? Y/n isn't cheating on me!" Elesa looked like she was going cry as she showed Emmet a picture of you making-out with a tall silver haired woman in a red dress, Emmet's face went serious.

"I saw them yesterday at the park, At first I didn't realize it was Y/n..."

"Er....Elesa."

"I know you're probably confused and very upset right, now but we can-"

"Elesa, just calm down and let me tal-"

"You'll move through this, there are plenty of others out there who wil-"

Emmet lost his nerve. "Elesa Ambrose Fleming!" He bellowed causing Elesa to freeze, Emmet almost never raises his voice much less full name her, so she knows she's in trouble! Elesa clamed right up and gawked at her friend who pointed at a chair, silently telling her to sit down, The ravenette complied and watched in annoyance as Emmet immediate started checking on Y/n helping them up, he asked if they were okay? he gave them a bottle of water and told the to go lie down in his room while he dealt Elesa.

"Why are you helping that homewrecker!" The conductor held his finger up, and she quieted down. "As I said before, Y/n isn't cheating on me." the model went to protest this she knows what she saw! and showed him the proof, the picture! "Because that woman in the picture is me." Emmet awkwardly stated, Elesa's face was mélange of emotions; mainly confusion and disbelief. "Wh-what?....just what?" The model's brain was having a hard time processing what her friend just told her.

Emmet explain that he wanted to have just one date with Y/n, where he wasn't constantly hounded by the paparazzi, so Y/n came up with an idea! Have Emmet crossdress with them! They lent Emmet one of their dresses, bought him a wig and got him all dolled up and then the couple went on their date. They had great time with no interruptions from Emmet's fan club, conspiracy theorists asking about Ingo or the tabloid stalkers! "I guess Y/n's plan must've worked a little too well, if you couldn't recognize me..." Elesa was still stalled on something... She kept looking between Emmet and the picture, he had D-cups! "b-but....you, how???" She gestured towards his chest. "Oh, the fake boobs? yeah, Y/n ordered them from same the cosplay shop they got their fake pecs from." Elesa immediately looked down at all of Y/n's belonging she'd thrown and broken, they were scattered all over the place, immediately Elesa felt horrible.

She got up from the chair. "I need to apolo-" but Emmet stopped her with a rare frown on his face. "uh, I don't think that's good Idea right now, just let me talk to them first, and let them decide what happens next, ok?" Elesa nodded and left Emmet's apartment and went to Skyla's and told her what happened. "That's why I said "go talk with Emmet in private." before jumping to conclusions." Her girlfriend chided Skyla understands that Elesa's has been extra protective of Emmet since Ingo went missing, The younger Trevithick twin was a wreck when his brother disappeared.

Emmet was just an empty husk of himself! he hardly ate, slept or talked to anyone... Elesa was seriously terrified that she was going to lose another friend! And then he met Y/n. over time the light slowly came back into Emmet's life, he was smiling again! and it almost seemed like Emmet back to his old self! But, Elesa was wary it's not that she didn't like Y/n, she was just paranoid that Y/n would leave and Emmet would go back to that dark place and never come back! And after what happened today, Elesa was soo sure she just lost a decade long friendship over a misunderstanding!

The next few days were uneventful and silent, Emmet and Y/n still haven't called or texted Elesa who was riddled with guilt and was absolutely gutted, Skyla said that they probably needed some time, but Elesa was sure they never wanted to speak to her again, until one day while she was leaving the gym and she was greeted by a odd looking couple at one of the parks cafe's, it took her a moment to realize it was Emmet and Y/n crossdressing.

They noticed Elesa and waved her over, the model reluctantly made her way over to them, The model winced seeing the fading bruises on Y/n's arms from where Elesa had thrown things at them. "I'm sorry Y/n." Elesa blurted out, she explained how she saw you and making out with Emmet while he was in disguise and she thought you were cheating on him! She didn't want see him hurt and wasting again, after things had been going so well!

You waited until Elesa was done explaining her actions to you. Pretty much it was the same thing Emmet had told you, It was all just one big misunderstanding, That could've been avoided if Elesa had taken Skyla's advice to just stay calm, pull Emmet aside and showed him the picture, Knowing Emmet, he would've laughed calmed her down and explained the whole situation to her, but instead Elesa just assumed the worst and went full blown Mama Ursaring on you. After hearing Elesa's side and seeing that she was genuinely remorseful for how she acted towards you.

You forgave her and Elesa even offered to take you shopping to replace some of your stuff that she had broken, Emmet smiled nudged you forward. "Actually, Me and Emmet were heading the mall. Um, we kind of want your help pick out stuff that would looked good on us?" You asked flustered needless to say, Elesa didn't have to be asked twice as she practically carried You and Emmet to mall, where you all had great time.

----------------------

Not quite sure about that ending, I was kinda in a rush.

[jello-in-my-bello]

It’s time that we had a real conversation about Aang...

For the main character of a television series, Aang somehow almost always finds himself under-rated and dismissed in fans’ posts. You see all these posts and, when they do reference him, it’s usually accompanied by the phrases “immature” and “12-year-old boy.” I mean honestly, in some ATLA fans posts, it seems as if Aang’s name is almost synonymous with the word immaturity--and it’s been that way for years. I’ve always wondered why people discredited him. Was it because they saw his age and immediately ruled him out? Is it an excuse for Katara and Aang to have never happened? Was calling him the most immature character a way to bring up their favorite characters? Or did they simply get conditioned to think Aang was immature because everyone just... said he was? Well, I think Aang’s the most mature character (from start to finish) on the show, and Imma tell you why. 

I think that Book 1 Aang is the Aang that everyone has stuck in their head. We get introduced to Aang in a strange way: he’s a boy frozen in an iceberg, and the first thing he asks is to go penguin sledding. Then he boldly explores a fire navy ship after being told it might not be a great idea. This kid’s kinda stupid, we think. Why does he care about penguin sledding? Why does he explore something he is told not to? Then he stops at Kyoshi Island to ride the Unagi, then he stops at Omashu to ride the delivery service, and then he lets the gang stop at other locations—having mini adventures—without worrying about learning waterbending on any sort of timeline. Why does he choose to explore all these different places at first rather than master the four elements? Doesn’t he even care about being the Avatar? Ah... that’s right. He’s only 12. 

Except surmising his entire maturity (or lack thereof) to the fact that he stops for these adventures means that you are ignoring one glaring detail of the show: Airbender and nomad culture. Aang asking Katara to go penguin sledding instead of what year it was and taking his friends to all those random stops in B1 so that he can explore can not be chalked up to immaturity. Because then you are ignoring an entire culture. We don’t get to see a lot of airbenders, and I think that plays into the problem, but from what we do know, we learn that a critical part of their culture is that they travel. A lot. And experience different cultures. A lot. Think about all the different places he’s referenced going to 100 years ago in the series. Then think about all the friends he’s talked about having in these obscure places—and it always sounded like he visited them more than once. Traveling, experiencing different cities, and meeting new people was a part of him and a part of his culture. He wasn’t being a 12-year-old when he stopped to ride the Unagi or the delivery shoots in Omashu, he was being an air nomad

On a similar note, one of Aang’s most notable traits is saying, “Hey, check this out,” excitedly while doing some air bending trick that seems juvenile--like spinning marbles around or doing an air scooter.  People look at him doing this and his previously mentioned traits and go, “Oh, what a kid.” But here’s the thing: we can’t roll our eyes at his persistent need to show people marbles floating in the air or his air scooter. In the episode “Southern Air Temple,” we see Monk Gyatso—an extremely old, wise air bender—throwing cakes on other monks’ heads, and then we’re told throughout the series that Airbenders were known for their playful nature. Airbenders didn’t use their bending the same way other benders do. For example, Waterbenders might show off their skills by creating a giant wave and being like, “Look how cool!” (See: Katara, like every time she learns a new move.) We know Airbenders have some pretty powerful moves--we’ve seen the tornado Aang created, the air body imprint of Aang that slammed Zuko back--but they don’t show off those moves because they’re so combative and not so fun. They show off the good-natured side of air bending (ex: Gyasto’s staff surfing when he was a child).  So those marble/air scooter tricks can’t be watered down to 12-year-old immaturity. Because he’s not being a kid when he does those things, he’s being an Airbender. People also tend to look over the fact that he is a survivor of a genocide. You need to keep in mind that he is a living relic and the only example left of what his race was. So even later in the series when he continues to show people those tricks, he’s showing them not just for fun, but to keep his culture alive. And what do you think he’s going to show them: a tornado with random objects flying around in it or two marbles flying in his hands? Which is a better representation of Airbender culture?

Also, do not forget that Aang earned his arrows. Airbenders are not just regular benders; they are known for being especially enlightened. You don’t just need to be a master at airbending to get your arrows—you also need to be a master at their culture. Aang was an enlightened boi. Look at all the speeches that he gave as the series continued. He didn’t just magically become wise in the course of a few months because he had to fight the Firelord, he just tapped into what was always there and never showed. The maturity was always there, and the receipts are in the arrows. 

So, I’ve gone over why he’s not as immature as everyone thinks, but why do I think he’s the most mature on the show? It’s because his emotional maturity is freaking through the roof. He’s part of a genocide, his culture is mocked, the few things—his clothing and glider—that he had left from his home were completely destroyed, and he had to do something that severely went against what he believes in. And he almost never loses his shit. In fact, we only ever see him get actually upset (we’re not counting the Avatar state cause that’s a whole different thing) 3 times in the series: when he was telling Katara about how the monks wanted to take him away from Gyatso, the episode when Appa was stolen, and when he was explaining that no one understands the position he is in (in terms of killing Ozai). Think about how much we saw everyone else freak out over the course of the show? About even smaller things.

Katara and Zuko are generally accepted as the two most mature characters of the series. But why? Zuko is continuously snapping at everyone, and, yes, he matured. But he is not completely there yet. He still somewhat believes in revenge (See: Southern Raiders), and it’s only at the last episode of the series that he understands violence is not the answer. And Katara? She acts very mature towards everyone else, but when it comes to her own emotions? She’s a whole basket full of mess. (See: Southern Raiders, again. Or anytime she uses anger as her way to show she’s “passionate.”) A good way to showcase the difference between Aang and these two is realizing that all of them lost a parent from the war and analyzing at how they handled it. (For Zuko let’s focus on the idea that he never really had a father) Katara lost her mother, Zuko his father, and Aang his father, Gyatso. Throughout the series, losing their parent was a huge topic point for both Katara and Zuko so much so that it was as if they thought no one else had ever suffered. (Katara, we see you telling Sokka that he didn’t love your mom the same). Aang, however, acknowledges his pain, tells stories of Gyatso and uses him as an example of what he wants to live up to— eventually coming full circle at the end wearing Gyatso’s beads and an identical outfit. I can’t imagine a more mature way to handle what happened than that.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, maturity isn’t based on how you have fun, it’s based on how you react to hard situations. And nobody, nobody reacted better in those situations than Aang. So if you watched Avatar and thought it was a story about a young boy maturing, then you misjudged. It wasn’t a story about an immature boy growing up. It was a story of an Airbender becoming an avatar. 

[snoopdoodle]

Could o requests some tony stark and male reader where the reader was a top worker at SI but then peter came around and now he isnt seen/recognized as much, and tony just walks in on male!reader crying? Hope You can do it, love your writing so far :p

SOBS I LOVE THIS- also I think I tried really hard on this, so :] i hope it was up to your standards, and please tell me if you enjoy !! this was my first Tony request, so I tried really hard :} also I went really angsty for this so-

----

Tell Him Later

SECOND PART - Part 2

platonic!Tony Stark x male!reader

pronouns: he/him

summary: life had been hard for you, but your escape is Stark Industries. What happens when your escape turned against you too?

WARNINGS: divorce, blood, panic attacks, scratching at skin

 “No!” You yelled as your project flew off to the other. Tony was cackling while holding his stomach. “O-Oh my go-o-o-od…” He dragged out between laughter. His hand slapped the table and there were tears in his eyes. He was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath again and you looked over at him. “Tony! It isn’t funny! It’s gonna break!” You yelled back at him, although this was the wrong choice as he doubled over in laughter. The table was a mess and you were near tears of laughter from the situation and anger for your project not working. “O-Ok.. come on kid l.. Hehe… let’s get back to working on this… what is this?” He spoke, looking at the mangled robot. He thought it would make you laugh, but it sadly did the opposite. You frowned, your face leaning into your hands as you sighed. 

“Tony…” you spoke. You felt tired and upset. Lately things haven’t been going well at home, so the Industry was your only escape. You mother had been yelling at your dad more, for stupid things that he didn’t even do most of the time! The sun beamed down in the lab, signaling that your escape-hours were ending. “Sorry, Tony. I gotta go, Mom’s been wanting me home earlier.” You spoke, lying through your teeth. There was a hint of dread in your already tired sounding voice. ‘Why do things never go as planned for me..?’ You asked yourself in your head. You frowned as your nose felt warm. That was a signal that you would start crying soon. It always happened, and you didn’t know why. Maybe it was genetic.

Tony looked at you, his eyes softening. “Hey, kid… you know, you can talk to me whenever you want.” He spoke, patting your shoulder. You stifled a cry and nodded, your voice was weak with the feeling of tears welling up in your eyes. Tony pat your shoulder again. That was your que. You sped out of the lab room, backpack on your back and your headphones plugged into your phone. You turned on your Spotify playlist as you listened to the opening. Your tears fell at the song. Freaks by Surf Course. You smiled as the song played and as the tears fell down your face. ‘Maybe tomorrow,’ you thought to yourself, ‘maybe tomorrow I’ll tell Tony what’s been happening.. Maybe he can help me.’

It didn’t happen tomorrow. Or the Next day. Or the Next. Tony was gone. ‘Probably fighting... he’s an Avenger, after all. Just hope he stays safe.’ You would tell yourself. Tony came back, although it was after 2 weeks. He brought this kid with him. You thought nothing of it, probably a newbie, maybe he’s showing him around? ‘Weird, how’d he get accepted at this time?’ That question popped in your head so many times, it was almost like the plague. It was strange… eh, whatever. You’d tell Tony what was happening during your lab time today.

‘He didn’t show up…. He didn’t show up! What was happening? Maybe that new kid was asking him a bunch of questions. He'll be back tomorrow.’ 

.

.

.

Why do you get your hopes up?

.

.

.

.

2 weeks. It had been 2 weeks since he had turned up to your daily lab time. Your parents had gotten the divorce they needed, but you were still in shambles. The divorce was ugly too. Screaming from both sides, including some yelling from you. However, you were still turning up to work everyday as this would go down at home. Somehow you had remained at the top of the leaderboards in Stark Industries. The first place rank thing, that was the only keeping you motivated to work. You wanted to be like how Tony had described you, “the son he never had.”  But there was this one kid, Peter Parker. He had passed your name and made it to first place.

You cried when that happened. It wasn’t even something to cry over, you just bursted out in tears. At other times, this would motivate you, but without Tony’s words of encouragement and with what was happening in your life, it brought you down into a new low. You were full on sobbing, your head ached from the tears, your hands were numb from working. Your eyes hurt and you were  sure the whole building could hear your cries. “Why won’t you stop crying, Y/N?! You’re such a baby, mom was right!” you yelled at yourself, crying even more at the thought. Your hands tore at your hair and your breathing got heavier. It was to the point where your chest had hurt and your ears were ringing, but you continued to spew hateful words at yourself. You could barely hear Tony yelling for you.

Tony had been walking down the halls of Stark Industries. He saw that Peter had beat you, and was shocked and proud of him. He wanted to see how you were doing, because he knew that you could bounce back to be even better… or so he thought. When he heard crying, he thought you had hurt yourself, so he turned to the supply closet near the room that he had passed. He waltzed over to there speedily, hoping the injury wasn’t too bad. But when he heard “Why won’t you stop crying, Y/N?! You’re such a baby, mom was right!” come out of your mouth, he clutched onto the med kit and ran to your lab room. When he got there, he was shocked, frozen in place.

Your desk was a wreck and you were full on sobbing. You were tearing at your hair and you had blood coating your hands. ‘That’s… from his scalp..’ Tony realized, his eyes growing wider at the thought. He jogged over to you, noticing your breathing was getting heavier by the second. “JARVIS, What’s wrong with him?!” Tony demanded as he called out to you. “K-kid… hey, can you hear me?!” You looked up with a dead look in your eyes. He was scared for your health, your head was bleeding at an alarming rate from the way you had scratched at it. “It appears he’s suffering through a panic-attack right now, sir. From what is happening, it looks like he will need medical assessment for his scalp.” JARVIS spoke, informing that man who was trying to get your attention.

Tony looked at you, and then around. “W-well how do I help him?!” Tony stuttered back. He couldn’t handle his own anxiety attacks, how was he supposed to help someone through a panic attack?! “Try to get his breathing levels at a normal rate, sir. It could help tremendously.” JARVIS informed. ‘O-Ok..’ Tony tried, you were still scratching at your scalp, the blood was dripping from your hands onto the ground. Your breathing was still heavy. He grabbed your shoulders, and in the calmest voice he could, he started speaking. “Hey, kiddo, look at me. Look, follow my breathing.” You sort of followed, your breathing wasn’t steady in the slightest, and you could barely hear him, but you were trying.

He smiled at the attempt, but still made you follow it. 4 in, 6 hold, 5 out. It probably wasn’t the right breathing method, but it was working. It took 13 minutes for you to get your breathing steady. Tears were still flowing from your eyes, and blood had stained your hair. Tony held your shoulder and you started to feel the pain in your scalp increasing. “I-I’m sorry, Tony…” You spoke, hiccupping during your words. Tony turned over to you, shocked at what you had said. “What do you mean you’re sorry, Kid?” He asked, the worry in his eyes showing. “I was acting like a child, I should’ve been better…” At this point you were spewing all the nonsense out of your mouth that your brain could come up with. Tony was confused at your words and patted your shoulder, stopping your rant. 

“Kid, you don’t have to apologize for a panic-attack. You were, and probably are still hurting. Mentally and physically, which by the way, we should get you checked up.” He cut himself off, which made you laugh. “JARVIS-” He spoke, but the AI cut him off before he could speak. “I’ve already gotten medical help, sir. The wait will be 2-3 minutes.” Tony smiled, as you yawned. “Kid, don’t you dare fall asleep, cause I don’t want you dying on me.” Tony spoke, seriousness in his voice as he was keen on keeping you awake and alive. You lulled your head over, sleepily, but your head was hurting. “I want to rest…” You spoke, tired. “Nope, MEDIC!” He yelled as he plucked you from your spot in the ground, alerting the medic of where you two were.

 Yeah, you’d tell him later.