#i gave protecting my peace or whatever a shot but I'm someone who derives my joy from being a fly on the walls of a hundred different rooms

[dykrophone]

when the same people who wouldn't shut up about you giving too much to everyone and asking you to hold back start complaining that you seem more reserved and don't have the same love and joy for the world and everyone in it as you used to once you actually take their advice...I fucking called it. I knew I should've trusted my gut. I'm not built for holding back and rationing my love and being careful with my heart. I have a big fucking heart and my love isn't expendable it grows the more of it I give and im built to love strangers and listen to people's stories and hold little parts of them in me wherever I go. I'm tired of being careful. I love people and yeah I keep getting my heart broken but it grows back bigger and stronger every time. I wouldn't trade the experiences for anything. im built to be a best friend to whoever needs me because that's what gives me joy. not all of it is a transaction and its okay if everyone doesn't return my love and kindness with the same intensity. im not doing it for a reward. im doing it because knowing a person for however long is a unique and beautiful experience and the reward in itself. I fucking love people you're the reason I want to live