#i genuinely thought anyone could just walk the world until like 10 minutes ago

[starlooove]

I feel so connected to miles bc I also got that reaction when I had a B in Spanish

[jiminrings]

umm maybe this is me projecting bc i am messaging you during my break but for a drabble request, yoongi in a retail setting???? 😐😐😐😐 oc could either be a co-worker or a regular customer who asks too many questions 😔😌

retail-type beat

drabble week: day three

drabble week masterlist

pairing: customer!yoongi x retail worker!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "hi! almost thought you were hiding from me for a second. anyways, is this sweater wool or cotton?"

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

the last time you checked, work doesn’t start until nine

you kNEW it doesn’t start until 9 in the morning, so clearly that’s why you’re just wearing slides instead of your sneakers

the company uniform is either black or purple (it has to be from what the store is selling though so you can get to choose) with of course!!!! a lanyard!!!!

and you know this, because you’re still wearing your slides from home because it isn’t opening time yet

“goddamn it, i forgot to bring my slippers,” jin moans the moment he walks to see you, looking down on your feet that only reminds him he’d be stuck in his cool yet painfully uncomfy sneakers

he’s probably the only co-worker that you’re truly close with, not feeling the urge to sell him just to get a free day

“i told you to get the sneakers that nurses use!!”

hands-down one of the best purchases you’ve ever made

retail’s hard and it’s not exactly the best-paying job!!! thankfully the franchise owner is a bit more generous so that’s why you get slightly-higher hourly pay

“i would if they looked a little more seasoned,” jin snorts and stubbornly crosses his arms, “i might sacrifice my pride and buy some compression socks.”

OOOOOH THOSE ARE GOOD TOO

makes you feel like ur walking on air

but lol no seokjin isn’t ready to buy those just yet

he’ll settle on some blisters and putting salonpas patches because they look cooler that way, thank u very much <3

jin yawns, talking about finding a steam iron somewhere to replace a blowdryer so he could break in his shoes

“you wipe the glass this time.”

oh right he absolutely hates wiping down the glass — even before opening!!! even when there aren’t any grubby kids that would soil it instantly with their equally as grubby hands

you don’t mind it honestly

you might honestly like it

you prefer wiping the glass a hundred times over than steaming clothes

there is nOT a single thought in your head when you spray on the solution to the glass, rag and squeegee tucked between your fingers when-

maybe you should’ve hOLY FUCKING SHIT

it’s not opening!!!! it is nOT nine o’clock in the morning!!!!

you know that the shop you’re working in is pretty fucking famous and it’s located on one of the most populated streets ever BUT THERE’S ALREADY SOMEONE

although the bucket hat seems familiar from a distance and-

oh it’s just yoongi

yoongi?

yoongi’s already here????

:O

yoongi, the guy in question, is an always customer!!

no, not a regular customer — an always customer

he comes every week and maybe even twice within that period

he’s a nice talkative customer who likes asking questions and even occasionally guides the other customers on what to buy and where to find it

he’s yoongi!!! of course that’s expected of him

he’s been going here long since you ever started working here, and jin keeps iNSISTING that he’s been here more frequently since you started like a year ago

but doesn’t he come at eleven in the morning?

“woah, yoongi’s already here? — doesn’t he come at eleven in the morning?”

?!!?!!

“i was just thinking the exact same thing.”

jin bangs the glass with his fist and you automatically wince and frown

you dO like cleaning the glass panes!! you didn’t say you liked cleaning them a second time :(

“YOONGI!”

“YES??”

you push jin’s fist away to wipe at the smudge his hand left

“IT’S NOT OPENING YET!”

“I KNOW!!”

wow they’re uh

they’re really loud

sometimes you forget how seokjin could be since it’s been awhile since you heard him yell

lol no one’s been shoplifting recently so you haven’t been hearing him

a mind-blowing idea is for jin to come outside and talk to him in a normal talking voice, so your ears would stop ringing

“HEY! WHAT IF YOU JUST ENTER EARLY IN?”

“REALLY? IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED??”

"YOONGI, EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR KNOWS YOUR NAME. NAMJOON EVEN GAVE YOU A CUSTOMARY BIRTHDAY GIFT, AND WE DON'T GIVE CUSTOMARY BIRTHDAY GIFTS TO ANY OTHER CUSTOMER!!"

namjoon, who technically should be called mr. kim because no one really thinks to call the franchise owner with their government first name, is actually pretty cool

but he's too busy these days and haven't been visiting because he's too busy tending to his newly-opened coffee shop

as if the money he earns from opening his franchise in a day alone isn’t enough :0

"IF YOU SAY SO?"

you’re the one who hikes up the roll-up door in the slightest, enough for only yoongi to enter and not encourage anyone else to nOT enter when it’s still not opening time!!!!

he only has to crouch a little but he still has to dust his thousand-dollar pants as if he crawled through mud

his cream-colored slacks with a large black hoodie that has a giant bear embroidered on the middle of it and mules

... you don't hate his outfits

pretty cute, actually

it's yoongi!!

you'd never catch him lacking!!!

you don't even have to envision him rocking the shit out a paper bag

one time, he came in the store wearing the WRINKLIEST brown linen jumpsuit that no iron could possibly fix and he still pulled it off

toon-teen-ten!

oh god that’s the sound of the intercom

and the sound of the intercom equates to jungkook

... as in jeon jungkook who’s the floor manager and his constant top one goal for every month is to endearingly annoy seokjin

he’s young and mischievous!! but if you were to ask him, only you and jungkook are the people in this floor he’d actually get drinks with outside the shop

“seokjin come to the lingerie department right now, please.”

you see the thing is :D

“now this is just funny

there’s walkie-talkies for everyone here!! jungkook likes intercoms, and seokjin like yelling!!

“WHY ME AGAIN?? I’VE ALREADY FOLDED-“

“there’s a literal rat and i need yOU to catch it!! you know that i hate rodents!!”

him and jungkook are forever gonna be on this eldest-youngest brother dynamic and while jungkook pouts and shared the extras that he gets, jin is the one who kills the bugs :D

10/10 totally fair

fine then!! he’ll catch that goddamn rat

that leaves you and yoongi. alone.

“why did you come so early this time?”

you ask out of courtesy, genuinely baffled too because you know that yoongi’s a creature of habit

yoongi’s eyes pop out, head fervently shaking no

“i’m typically not the type to do that, no.”

???

is he-

are you-

are you both talking about the same thing

yoongi’s face flushes in embarrassment, his mind just then registering what you were actually saying

“o-oh! it’s because last night, i dreamt of the sweater i saw here last week!!"

oh right

typical :D

"need me to find it for you or do you already know the aisle?"

you align the folded shirts by the corners as you pass, looking at yoongi briefly while he trails behind yoh

“not unless you pulled it out already."

he's hoping that dear god you haven't

the black sweater with the moon aND buildings on it and when you turn on the flash, the windows of said building reflect it right back???

he SHUDDERS just by thinking about it

it’s gonna go with everything!!! an instant boost of serotonin every time he sees it

"for you, yoongi?" you shake your head, a small smile on your face that he only sees every once in a while, "i'd comb through the entire stock room."

wait

that’s sweet :((

“i’ll hold you to that.”

you know what??? you're less cranky when it's only him, and a couple of hundred people less

your smiles aren't for customer-service and you don't have misplaced clothes hanging from your shoulders and your walkie-talkie isn't talking in latin

or when no one’s asking you to reach something from the top shelf

or when you’re on the way to the intercom because a kid got separated from their mother

or when someone’s approaching for a refund for a shirt who has a stain that’s 100% no doubt customer error

his feet immediately move on its own because he’s memorized the outline of this too many times

there it is!!!

the sweater he’s dreamt about is already on his hands, only a handful few left

the piece is considerably more expensive than majority of the items here, so that’s why they’re all spaced-out instead of being clustered altogether

yoongi rarely goes to the dressing room, regardless if it's a full-house or not!!

he could just look at an item and immediately tell that it’s made for him ta know

he's beyond sure that this sweater fits him perfectly, but he may want to be here a little longer

yoongi may have say inside one of the fitting rooms and spent a little time in it just to sit on the chair inside, not fitting the sweater at all

he's gotten his item SO quick and he wished he could've just walked slower or pretended to not know where it was!!!

he wants to spend a little more time here

you don't hate yoongi!!! but sometimes he could just be... yoongi

he's quite talkative and strikes it whenever, making you unguarded

he could be overbearing but like an overbearing kind of nice

yoongi’s nice!! he’s the type to ask a lot of questions sure, but he’s also the type that would point the other customers what to buy and where to find it

he’s the type to find an obvious faulty stitch on a shirt, but he’d just quietly exchange it instead of asking for the manager

he’s the type you wouldn’t want to stand behind in line because it would take a long time for him to finish, but he’s also the same one who buys giftcards with generous amounts for family and friends

yoongi’s kind of cool and that’s cemented on your mind

"what do you got for me?"

he materializes out of nowhere, spooked because you thought he already ringed up and was out of the store already

it just happens to be ten minutes before opening and you’re doing last-minute arrangements on a new spread

well, yoongi most certainly is still here and his attention’s piqued

“we have... a new collection."

you clear your theory, awkwardly gesturing because you’re more than aware that yoongi hasn’t seen this either

“yeah, i know that. but like, what's going on??" he gestures to the displays and racks, squinting his eyes, "what's the theme? what's the material?"

:O

uhm you haven't read the brief about this

you aren't even sURE if there is one!!

doesn't everyone make up something on the spot in retail

or atleast that’s what seokjin tells you

“the theme," you clear your throat, scratching your temple before gesturing towards the full rack, "is everything."

“everything?

yoongi’s eyebrow is raised, not expecting that answer at all

you look back to the new feature, and nOW that you think about it,, there's no cohesion at all

“y-yes. the shop was going for the theme of uhm, everything... all at once — yeah, that's it. everything all at once."

it’s a nice way to put it when not one bit of the new collection goes together

“hmmmm. i like it,” yoongi nods solemnly and tilts his head, “and the material?"

"the material?"

you repeat, eyesight not the best so you can’t really tell anything off the bat or uh aNYTHING really

"t-the material is shirt."

they're all shirts!!! that’s it

yoongi grimaces in disgust, the first time you’ve seen of it

“what?? you can't say that.”

he outsretches his hand to the nearest article, holding it up by the hanger

"this, right here, is satin. see how it shines like silk, but doesn't feel like silk?"

uhm yes

you have a gist of what he’s saying but yes

yoongi picks up a pink button shirt this time, flipping it inside out

"this, is silk charmeuse. look at the inside, is it smooth?"

okay where is he going with this

he urges you to put your hand on the fabric and uhhh you didn't sign up for this???

it looks smooth, sure!! end of discussion

"yea-..."

“it's not. it's rough. it is smooth, but it's dull. silk charmeuse is still silk, but the backing it has is different from the lustrous part."

okay yoongi

you’re starting to feel uncomfortable and it has to do something with the tone he’s using on you

“can't believe you didn't know that!! how about this," he plucks out a shirt with a tiny print at the middle of it, "cotton or polyester and rayon?"

"i don't-"

there’s an itch in your neck that you want to scratch, a tell-tale sign that you just wANT to remove yourself from this situation

“come on!! it's a dead giveaway!!"

:((

why is he being like this?

toon-teen-ten!

“y/n, panty section please. jin almost got bit by a mouse and he needs comforting. two minutes until opening, people!!"

jungkook speaks at the right moment, and jin’s little incident is enough of a reason for you to bolt

yoongi's still looking at you but you can't afford to embarrass yourself further

“bye. happy shopping."

huh?

yoongi’s face falls when you leave as cold as that!! typically when you were going to show him out (when it’s regular shop hours), there’d be a smile :((

there's not even a customer service smile :(((

yoongi goes to the only cashier that's open so far and it happens to be far away from you and a teary seokjin

seokjin's fine he didn't even get bit!! that much he could say

but are you okay? uhhh you kinda went cold on him by the end and he thought he started on a good note

yoongi doesn't visit for another week and you don't find yourself counting the days until you meet him again

you did not have a devil wears prada moment where anne hathaway has an epiphany for fashion knowledge

you just felt belittled at a job that isn’t exactly what you wanted anyways

needed, yes. but wanted? not exactly

you know that basic knowledge about clothes is required in a retail job like this and you have it!! you do!!!!

you’d know more if only there were actual available resources for employees to know!!! nobody besides yoongi asks anyways

you’d know if you have time to yourself and aren’t working two jobs trying to make ends meet and tHEN you could pull up a book or something!!!

you’d know if your life is as lax as yoongi’s and could have the budget to buy new things for yourself every single week

“jin, i need to ask you something.”

he hums as called, looking at you briefly until you get on with it

“do you know the difference between silk and silk charmeuse?"

he shrugs casually while you're sitting inside one of the closed-off fitting rooms to catch a break, sharing a burger because the store’s packed-packed

why did you ask him? it’s too easy

“one's made by worms, and the other's a pokémon."

that,.,., could not possibly be righti* it brings you a laugh and you honestly don’t even try to correct him

it’s 11:15 and you kNOW it’s time to resume your shift, straightening your shirt because atleast one (1) person would hound you when they see a familiar red lanyard

oh you’re hounded alright

“hi! almost thought you were hiding from me for a second.”

yoongi????

oh

you haven’t seen him for a week and you don’t know what to feel in all honesty

"anyways, is this sweater wool or cotton?"

wow

you're quite speechless as he holds up the item

really?

this thing all over again???

why are you even surprised

the only thing that yoongi gets your customer service smile, fishing your hand from inside the sweater to show him

“70% wool."

that's it???

NO GOOD MORNING????

you're mad at him, aren't you?

he knew it :((

he knew something was wrong but he just didn’t know what

he’s gonna fix this!! he will

which is why the very next day, he takes the day off from his work and comes to the store at a time he knows you’d surely be there

you're on cashier duty and you like it actually :D

you have an option to sit and the way you’re just gonna scan pricetags (and occasionally enter the code if it doesn’t work) is really appealing

“good morning!"

you’re about to grab the items from the basket laid on the counter and your eyes could only see the very familiar hand

the same one you’ve seen go through racks and racks

yoongi??

he sets his items one by one, buying himself more time

the first one is the same exact sweater he came to wait for before opening

“you already bought this."

you tell him even before you could hold it back, looking back at him briefly before you scan the tag

“i know. i just wanted to see you."

oh

oh

yoongi threw a bunch of other items (individually) so it would be a longer talk, but you scan each item quickly that he’s grabbing things from the counter

hand sanitizer!!! hair ties!!! keychains!!!! yeah he needs them

“i'm sorry that i tend to spring shit on you most of the time. you don't need to know the difference between silk and silk charmeuse."

you only chuckle then, a meek smile on your face

"it's okay, yoongi.”

“it's not."

... it’s not?

yoongi fidgets, opening and closing his mouth like he’s nervous!!! he’s never had his credit card cancelled but he could only feel that this type of jitterness is more than the former

“can i make it up to you? no lanyards, no baskets, no customer service?? i don't wanna fuck things up with you."

“don't feel obligated-"

“i know i could be a condescending ass who expects people to automatically know fabric and whatnot, but i wanna make it up to you."

alright yoongi’s a really good apology-maker

you mIGHT be even flustered a little

“you're holding the line, yoongi.”

“i cleared my schedule."

“i haven’t!!!!!” - guy in the back

“dinner at my place at 8. i-i promise to make your hard-earned break after your shift worthwhile!!!"

hmmm

maybe that wouldn’t hurt

“okay. just because you're holding the line."

“fine by me."

:))

yoongi transfers all the items he bought, all but one, to his tote bag

he hands back the paper bag to you, scribbling his address on the back of the receipt before he does

he lingers a little while at the counter, the people behind him ALREADY switching lanes to the one seokjin’s just opened beside you

it's the sweater that he has too

yoongi scratches the back of his head, this time being the meek one

“what? m-matching sweaters for our first date. s'cute."

[siwoline]

“can we stay like this forever?” — [sjy.]

♫ : spaces by martti franca

word count: 1,901  |  angst, masochist

<masterlist> <prev> <next>

some, if not everyone, surely had a tower moment. a phase when everything seems to go downfall and you had no other choice but to surrender to wherever the universe takes you. some faced everything alone and some found a companion.

in your case, you had jake.

you met each other through a common friend back in high school. it was just a “hey, this is y/n. y/n, this is jake.” type of introduction and you just both went on with your lives separately, not minding each other’s business because you clearly had nothing to do with it. you weren’t interested with him and, on your point of view, he wasn’t too.

but suddenly, you passed by each other’s lives again, when he saw you sitting like a drunk single aunt by the gutter of an abandoned gas station. it was because you told your friends you’ll walk your way home even though your vision was spinning and your head hurt like hell.

you remember, “y/n?” jake mispronounced your name when he saw you then.

and you corrected him even though you’re drunk by saying, “it’s y/n! you stupid!”

“i’m sorry, y/n. do you need something?”

obviously! is this man really stupid? were your thoughts. you were looking at him meaningfully, trying to tell him that he’s unbelievable but he seems to not care about your stares. he just reached for your arms and guided you to wrap them around his broad shoulders.

this man’s caring. what the hell.

as much as you wanted to throw your shoes at jake that time, you just didn’t have the energy to fight and perhaps you wanted to thank him for somehow taking care of you even though you barely know each other.

after that night, you were informed that, apparently, jake studies in the same university and he lives near your pad. and according to your common friend, it’s just a 10-minute ride from yours.

your encounter with him did not stop there because you saw each other again on a party hosted by your friend. the moment you laid eyes at each other, he recognized you right away and walked towards you leaving a girl who’s clearly hitting on him that time.

that night, you two shared stories and even danced with some acquaintances, completely unaware that it was the start of something you didn’t anticipate.

“who’s this?” you said when you picked up the call of someone who’s bugging you at three in the morning, the day after your friend’s party.

that’s when you heard jake mumbling words you cannot decipher because first, it was, again, three in the morning, and second, he was a drunk zombie.

“where are you?” you asked him repetitively and still trying to respond to what he was saying until the bartender took over the phone and told you where he is.

you went to the bar to fetch him. jake looked so wrecked and tired from the world, he’s a complete mess when you saw him lying on the bar’s couch. when you went to him and woke him up, he looked at you and there you saw his stares. his intense eyes looked like he wanted someone to save him or just someone who’s willing to hear his stories.

and so you did.

it was almost everyday, at three in the morning, when you go out to see each other at the gas station where you first met as acquaintances. you’d bring snacks from your stock and he’d bring drinks bought from the convenience store he’ll pass by on his way to you.

you’d talk about everyday, how things went wrong and how things are going. you’d tell him that the only constant thing in the world is life fucking you up and his boisterous laugh would disturb anyone and anything near. he’d tell you how pretty the night sky is and how badly he wanted to travel just to see its end and you’d agree and tell jake you’ll go with him.

no one knew of the times you’re together, not even the friend who introduced you to each other. it was just a moment between you two, and you hate to admit but there are times that by thinking of it, the thought of seeing jake, made you feel things.

and god, as well as jake, knows how badly you hate feeling tickling emotions, those of the positive kind, because you know that there’s definitely an aftermath.

“how’s your brother?” he randomly asked when you were just talking about an online post you shared with each other through chat.

“he’s doing well. you want to see him next weekend?” then he nodded as a response.

it was not just you who grew fond of jake, some of your family members, only those whom he met, did as well. especially your little brother. they’d play games when you and jake would come over to your grandfather’s house where your brother temporarily lives. they would also talk about boy stuff, completely excluding you from the conversation, and you can see the both of them enjoying their time.

and, annoyingly, again, this made you feel more at ease with jake.

“do you still drink?” you asked meaninglessly.

“not anymore,” he shrugged, as if saying he doesn’t know why.

“as i am,” that’s when he looked at you, confused. “i don’t know. maybe i’m healed,” and you laughed with the absurdity of the thought.

but jake smiled with what you said, “that can be true.”

“what about you? you’re finally moved on from the woman you cried for when i first fetched you at the bar?”

he turned his head away, obviously feeling shy. “that was more than a year ago, y/n.” his lips are forming a pout. “plus, i’m being comforted in a much healthier way.”

you were shocked by his response. “you’re seeing someone again?”

he shook his head and said, “i just found comfort in someone’s presence.”

“isn’t that the same?”

he looked at you and said, “i don’t want to intervene in their peace.”

then all of a sudden, that was your last encounter with jake. you didn’t hear any news about him or his whereabouts for a good six months. when you were told that he’ll be attending a seminar, you woke up late which led to not seeing him around the campus ever since. just like that, jake was nowhere to be found.

and you cannot believe why jake’s no-show bothered you so much.

you thought of him almost everyday, thinking whether he’s doing fine or coping from his heartbreak and problems. you thought of how he’s doing in school because you haven’t seen his shadow from anywhere. you were dead worried of him yet no one knows that you still are.

“y/n, later! don’t pretend to forget, you brat,” you laughed and nodded as a response.

your friend is having a party tonight and you prepared for it the moment you arrived home. wearing the simplest attire, almost looking as if you’re not interested to go, you went to the party.

the moment you stepped foot at the bar, you were reminded of several things. and definitely one of them is jake.

weird how the loud bass and taste of beer feels so nostalgic for you. was it the long period of time that passed since you decided to quit drinking? or was it, again, him?

you shook your head, trying to brush off the thought you have in mind. you took your fifth glass of cuervo and looked at your wristwatch only to see that it’s about three in the morning. you stood up, with your head quite heavy, and went to find your friend so you could bid good bye and leave. 

only to be stopped at your tracks because a pair of eyes are staring at you intensely. it’s jake.

it was quite a moment when you stared at each other but you decided to pretend as if you didn’t see anything. you’re confused at what you’re feeling at the very moment because, for you, you’re not supposed to feel anger just because he didn’t show up nor feel as if you’re longing for his presence.

“y/n,” you heard him call your name and a cold palm touched your skin when he held your hands to stop you from walking away.

you faced him, trying to show a smile. and there you saw a cleaner look of jake, a more mature one you must say. you looked at his eyes and you were surprised with what you’re seeing. your smile grew wider, more genuine this time, because he definitely looks happier now.

“hey. long time no see,” was all you can utter.

“y/n, i’m sorry—”

“look, i have to go home. the apartment’s gate,” you were cut off by him telling you that, “there’s no curfew and you always have a key with you. you don’t forget that. you’re afraid to get locked out.”

right. of course, jake knows that.

you’re afraid to get locked out, you’re afraid to be left behind. without a word, without any notice. you find it hard to forget, especially the moments dear to you, the moments that kept you warm. he knows that but why did he leave was all over your head.

“i have to go,” you said and let go of his hand but he didn’t budge. you kept moving and telling him to, “let go, jake.”

“y/n, i like you.” was what jake needed to say to make you stop from struggling.

he reached for your right arm and now his intense stares feel as if it can see your soul. and what happens now is the very thing you’re afraid of.

“i like you, i love you, i,” he sighed in frustration. “the last time we saw each other, it was you i was referring to. it was you whom i do not want their peace to be ruined. god, i even wanted to talk to you when you were first introduced to me. i wanted to hear more of your stories, i wanted to be even just a small part of your life, y/n.”

“i was so afraid of telling you because i know you fear this the most. you fear feeling things, you fear giving and risking all that you have, you fear the warmth of what love could give, y/n. i know that and you’ve always reminded me about that.” he continued.

“then why are you telling me this now?” i said, almost shouting because of how frustrated i am with what he’s saying. “why are you telling me you love me after leaving me, jake?”

“because,” he paused, looking both tired and frustrated of what’s happening right now. “because i can never get over you. i tried but i can’t and maybe because i do not even want to, y/n. i hate—”

“i fear commitments, jake.”

he looked at you, stared even, and smiled as if he just got reminded of a detail he forced himself to set aside.

still looking at you, with eyes begging you to let out what you really do feel, he said, “you can take your time. please, just allow me to—”

“i fear commitments, jake,” you repeated what you said. “what’s so hard to understand—”

“then just have me by your side, like old times, please.”

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Sick - Tanaka x reader

Warnings: none

Words: 2282 

Summary: You and your neighbor walk your dogs at the same everyday, but what happens when he stops showing up 

A/n :! I am so so so so sorry for disappearing off the face of the earth, college is hard man and then it’s partially online and COVID and things and the depression really hit and I have started a new self care book and it is adding one thing back in my life at a time that I am passionate about and last week was French and this week it is writing because I really do miss it! I threw this together last night based off of a request I got forever ago and I hope it is liked <3 

You’ve lived in the same apartment for years and people always come and go, in and out, it feels like you see a new face everyday. In your three years there, you’ve only had one consistent fact, and that’s your bald neighbor who goes on walks with his dogs at the same time as you twice a day. At first you only saw him occasionally and now the two of you go out at 7:30 am and 6:30 pm on the dot. You have no idea how it started but now you get kinda excited to run into your neighbor on the stairs everyday and hopefully make a comment about how good his two big dogs are looking or even jsut the smallest acknowledgement with him.

   Speaking of your neighbor, he wasn’t out this morning before work, and you didn’t think too much of it because he works kinda funny hours and some random days misses the times. (Though he always tells you about it in the afternoon or the next time you see him) and because you’ve learned he’s a personal trainer he has finicky clients and sometimes is up wayy too early or way too late. It bugged you all day that you hadn’t seen him and no matter how hard you tried to focus at work you couldn’t imagine why he wasn’t out on a Wednesday. All of your explainations could make sense but you really don’t feel right about any of it. And when you got home and took your two babies out and he wasn’t there you were sure something was up. Tanaka loved his dogs more than anything and says that their routine keeps them together and that it keeps them well behaved. Something had to be wrong. Maybe he got a new girlfriend? Or he forgot? But he didn't forget and he hasn’t been with anyone ever, and if he was his dogs would still come first. You had no idea what you were thinking but when you came back up the stairs you kept walking and knocked on the door of the man you knew so completely and not at all. You quickly realized what you’d done and your heart was racing as you silent prayed that no one was home and that you could creep back to your door before anyone heard you.

   This was a great thought, except you forgot what happens when you knock with dogs. They bark. And unfortunately for you Tanaka doesn’t get a lot of guests so his dogs barked a lot. Like they could wake the entire neighborhood a lot. You had to grin and bear it and face the consequences of your irrational actions.

   After thirty or so seconds the door creeps open and there he is, Takana Ryuunosuke, in his pajamas and a beanie opening the door. He looked like a walking corpse and by the way he sniffed out a weak “hello” as he opened the door told you everything you needed to know. He was sick. Very sick, and you had just knocked at the door and now have to figure out what to say to him.

   “Oh, hey,” you stutter, “I was just checking on you to see if everything was alright, you weren’t out with your dogs and I was wondering if anything was up, or if you needed me to take them out for you because of their routine and everything,” you ramble on, hoping that somewhere your logic connected and this made sense.

   Takana stared at you blankly and you couldn’t help but mentally smack yourself because that was exactly what a stalker would say and you now seemed like his stalker.

   After a few more seconds of blank stares his expression caught up to your words and he broke out the goofy smile you love so much.

   “My dogs? Walk them?” He asked. Maybe they hadn’t caught up after all.

   “Well yeah, they weren’t out at their regular time and i wanted to make sure they were still going out and I have my two out and they are so well behaved and you clearly don’t feel well so it would really be no problem,” you rambled on again.

This time he was closely listening and nodded along with you before smiling once again. “No no no,” he chuckled, “ I can take them out” though he was laughing you could hear that he wasn’t feeling well and his energy was lower than you had ever heard.

   “Let me do this one favor for you, I can take them out, no big deal, okay?” You smiled.

   After you smiled it was a done deal for Tanaka, he grabbed the leash and thanked you about a hundred times. His dogs are fantastic and took you less than five minutes to walk before they’d used the restroom and were ready to go back inside. You took them back and he thanked you once again and you headed back to your apartment to make some dinner.

   You settled on a sun dried tomato soup with grilled cheese and happened *wink* accidentally *wink* make more than you could eat on your own and you’d hate for it to go to waste and you do have a neighbor who is sick and could probably use a hot meal right about now. So, you packed up a container for him and wrapped the sandwich in aluminum foil so that it would be hot for him and put some tea in a thermos and headed out your door once more. This time though, you were a little less bold and just rang the doorbell and ran back to your room. You did however, leave a little note saying “hope you feel better soon - room 420” on it and you hoped that it would at least help his night a little bit.

   Little do you know, Tanaka was so shocked to see this from you that he almost dropped the hot soup onto himself in a panic because this not only meant you paid attention to him but you cared for him. This was the best thing to ever happen to him. He finished every last bite and washed the container and thermos and placed them back by your door with a note of his own.

   When you got up the next morning and went to take your dog out you couldn’t help but beam when you saw your tupperware back in front of your door. You picked up the two items before seeing the little note on top of the container.

‘Best Soup Ever! -Room 419’

You beamed and did a little happy dance before deciding to go knock and see if he needed your help with his dogs again today, and boy are you lucky that you went. WHen he opened the door he somehow looked worse than yesterday, you could have swore that he had snot dried to his face and he was a total mouth breather and the bags under his eyes as well as tripled overnight. There were no arguments when you asked if he needed help with his dogs, because truthfully he really did.

   The walk was quick and the morning was over before you knew it. Another distracted day at work, you found yourself wondering how you could help him feel better, especially because he lived all alone and his closest family was something like an hour away last he told you.

You had a brilliant idea and decided to go to the store after work and make him a ‘get well’ basket. You filled the basket with cough drops, tissues, teas, chocolates and other little goodies that help him feel better and put him in a better mood. You got the groceries and were right on your way, practically skipping with excitement.

   Once again, you accidentally made an extra soup after you’d taken care of the dogs and happened to leave it with the basket later that evening.

   In the morning however, none of your dishes were by your door, which was no big deal, especially because he was feeling so under the weather, but what was even more strange is that he didn’t answer the door and the last thing you wanted to do was wake him up. So, you headed to work wondering if he liked what you did for him or if you’d crossed a line or if he was allergic to chicken noodle, or if he was too much of a health nut and you’d offended him, or if he’d… you had no idea, maybe died. This was not good for you and you could feel the stress starting to get to you when you got off work the sprint back home was exhausting and anxious. You rounded the corner of the stairs when you saw

Nothing.

You saw nothing.

That was fine, everything is fine. You are fine. Life is fine. If he doesn’t feel good you can’t expect him to do dishes or even leave his room. That’s best for everyone, no one wants a walking germ contaminating everything around, there were probably old ladies on this floor, you hadn’t seen any, but they were there, probably, so he was just doing the world a favor.

Again, he didnt answer the door for his dogs and you couldn’t force your kindness onto him so you had a night to yourself and went to bed way earlier than usual. You couldn’t help but wake up earlier than usual and instead of looking for things that weren’t there you got out and went to work early and got busy right away. You had a full day and worked until almost 8pm, hurrying back to hopefully get home before your local take away had closed. You made it, but just barely, and got your favorite meal to bring home with you to watch something horrible with.

   You got home and plopped on the couch completely exhausted. Immediatley you started eating and got about halfway through when you heard a knock at the door. Oh shit. You had no one in your life that would ever knock, well almost no one. THere was one person you were really hoping wasn’t on the other side of the door. You were in a t-shirt you got 10 years ago and a pair of crappy shorts from the general store, there was nothing remotely nice, or even tame about your appearance, you looked to be frank, crazy.

You creeped the door open and saw exactly who you were hoping not to see, Tanaka Ryuunosuke standing in front of your door beaming.

   “Hey?” You question nervously.

   “Hey, I noticed that you didn’t take your dogs out earlier and was wondering if you needed me to take them out for you?” He questioned genuinely, smiling from head to toe, clearly feeling better.

   You had no idea what to say or do but he just smiled as your dogs trotted out the door with him, without you saying a word. You awkwardly closed the door and stood there in shock. That was horrible. An embarrassment to you, an embarrassment to your family name and even worse an embarrassment to society. The shock still hadn’t worn off when you heard a second knock at your door, and well that was the man with your dogs and you couldn’t just leave them outside.

   This time when you opened the door you couldn’t help but gasp. Tanaka has a giant bouquet of red roses and a giant blush on his face.

   “Y/n, I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I have had a crush on you since I first met you, and I never knew how to tell you, every time I got close to you I just freeze and I started taking my dogs out when you do to try and get to know you and I could never make myself do it but you have been unbelievably kind to me and I can’t wait any longer. I want nothing more than to have a chance with someone as stunning as you are. Y/n, will you go on a date with me?”

   This time it was you standing there dumbstruck for longer than you should have. You heard every single one of his words and your heart was fluttering out of your chest. You’d had feelings for him for as long as you can remember and here he was with a bouquet of flowers standing in your doorway asking you to go on a date with him. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything so you just grinned and nodded at him enthusiastically, hoping he understood just how much this means to you.

   He beamed right back and handed you the bouquet of flowers, “perfect, then I’ll see you Friday at 7, I’ll pick you up.” He winked.

You were still dumbstruck and nodded again, and right as you were about to close the door for the night he stuck his foot in the doorway.

“One more thing y/n,” he pushed the door back open and had a basket of little goodies for you, as well as a homemade meal in the containers you’d given him with a little note that says ‘your soup warmed my soul, and my heart’. You couldn’t help but absolutely beam with happiness. You set the basket down and threw your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a big hug, repeatedly thanking him for his kindness. You two parted ways happier than you could have imagined and both in great anticipation for Friday.

   The next morning, you were both out at 7:30 on the dot, excited to see one another.

[thesleepiesthufflepuff]

My Favorite Fics 2020

Alrighty. I read a decent amount of fanfiction this year (mostly thanks to Wizards Hearts/Game of Drarry), and I’m here to list out some of my very favorites. Thank you to all of the creators out there who put so much time, effort, and energy into creating beautiful stories, and here’s to lots of reading in the new year 💜 also, this is in no particular order and all rec notes are from my personal fic tracker spreadsheet (if anyone wants details on how I set up my spreadsheet, etc. please feel free to send an ask!) 💕

1) Change on the Horizon by Static_abyss / @static-abyss [Explicit, 118.6k,]

When things settle down after the war, Harry has trouble figuring out who he’s supposed to be and what’s expected of him. At the same time, Draco finds himself having to decide between what his parents want and what he wants for himself. Together, Harry and Draco embark on a journey to figure out who they are as individuals and what that means for their future together.

A canon AU drarry fic based on the relationship between Mickey and Ian from Shameless.

Hands down one of the best fics I've ever read. Ana did the most amazing job at translating Micky and Ian's relationship to Harry and Draco, although it’s definitely not necessary to know Shameless in order to enjoy the story. The writing is stunning, and I loved every single bit of this

2) I’ll Play Your Game by JayseHasNoGrace [Mature, 52.2k]

After quitting the Auror department at the ripe old age of twenty two, Harry Potter finds a nice, uneventful job in an apothecary. At least, it's uneventful until his old rival Draco Malfoy comes into the shop.

They strike up an unlikely friendship, which evolves into an increasingly convoluted scheme, which then snowballs spectacularly out of control into a tangle of lies and blurred lines.

They'd agreed to a fake relationship — in Harry's case, to get the wizarding world to take him off his 'perfect saviour' pedestal, and in Draco's case, just to be given a chance in wizarding society at all — but neither of them expected just how difficult that might really turn out to be. Especially when the stakes grow ever higher, and they both start falling for each other. Just a little bit.

FAKE DATING!!! Ugh, this was so good. I love the media aspect of it, and the way that everything comes together is just brilliant. A must-read for anyone who loves fake dating!!

3) I Can be Your Lighthouse by orpheous87 / @orpheous87 [Teen, 4k]

When Harry gets called to investigate reports of Dark magic, the last thing he expects to find is an almost unconscious Draco Malfoy. After multiple instances, he resolves to find out what's going on.

inspired by the song The Lighthouse by The Used.

So, so sweet. I love Harry's determination to figure out what's going on. This is such a lovely fic, and I enjoyed every minute of it

4) Freedom to be by Quicksilvermaid / @quicksilvermaid [Explicit, 169.5k]

Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived.

12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends.

Only nothing feels perfect.

Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place.

This left such an impact on me, and it’s a fic I think about often. I can't even begin to explain how incredible everything about this is.

5) Dear Diary by AWickedMemory (TeddyLaCroix) [Teen, 20.4k]

// This can’t possibly go worse than the last time I kept a diary. //

After the war, Harry picks up a journal to write in… and it writes back. Luckily, it’s not a Horcrux on the other end this time.

Absolutely amazing. The relationship that develops between Harry and Draco as they write to each other was so soft and wonderful, and I would easily read 100k of this!

6) Grounds for Divorce by Tepre [Explicit, 122.2k]

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter.

A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

I loved this. It was so angsty at times, but well worth it. An absolute classic that I’m so pleased to be able to say I’ve read.

7) Nero Su Bianco by Zuzallove [Explicit, 40.5k]

September 1997. Hogwarts is under the regime of Voldemort and the Carrows. Finding himself alienated by both his friends and his supposed enemies, Draco puts quill to parchment, and writes letters. He addresses them to the only person he can think of, as Hogwarts rapidly falls into chaos and ruin: Harry Potter. He goes to great lengths to ensure the letters are never discovered, and he’s pretty certain he’s done a great job.

Until the day of his trial.

The letters were so much fun to read, even though they were heartbreaking at times. I loved Draco’s characterization in this, as well as how his relationship develops with Harry.

8) Thunder by Keyflight790 [Explicit, 21.5k]

The storm will disappear; the rain will subside; but what's left in its wake will last forever. A story of love and loss, redemption and thunder

I really loved how well Draco's addiction was written. I'm not a huge fan of past relationships, but this was done in such a beautiful way. Plus, talking to dragons!!!

9) dirtynumbangelboy by magpie_fngrl [Explicit, 39.4k]

After Harry’s unfortunate encounter with his ex, Draco Malfoy makes him a proposition. Draco wants his parents to stop matchmaking him and Harry wants to make his ex jealous. All they need to do is simply pretend they’re in love. Problem is… Draco already is.

Amazing. This has absolutely sucked me into the world of fake dating. I could ramble about this forever, to be honest. Simply incredible, and I love how snarky their relationship was. It was the epitome of a good Drarry fic.

10) just tell me when it’s alright by M0stlyVoid / @bonesliketambourines [Explicit, 23k]

Harry’s been fighting tooth and nail for any bit of normalcy he can get his hands on. He’s sick of feeling like something’s wrong with him, tired of feeling different. He thinks he’s finally gotten to the root of it, and has settled into a routine that makes him happy. Naturally, that’s when Draco Malfoy walks back into his life and upends it once again. Has Harry bitten off more than he can chew with his former rival?

YES!! I genuinely loved Harry’s clinginess. This fic was absolutely amazing, and the secret dating was lovely. Plus, bi awakening!!

11) When Hippogriffs and Pygmy Puffs Collide by oldenuf2nb [Mature, 32.7k]

Harry Potter bakes cakes, brilliantly. Draco Malfoy inks tattoos, brilliantly. Owls deliver post, including messages from clients, with an occasional lack of brilliance.

I was really surprised at how much I loved this, especially since I’ve not really read many fics with odd jobs. I absolutely adored the fact that Harry was a baker and Draco was a tattoo artist, and the characterizations were absolute perfection

12) You Send Me (Honest You Do) by firethesound [Explicit, 37k]

As far as potion accidents go in general, and deaging incidents go in particular, Draco knew this could have been so much worse. Harry only lost about ten years, and all his memories are still intact. But the sight of him looking as if he’s stepped straight out of Draco’s Hogwarts memories has dredged up a whole mess of complicated feelings Draco thought he’d buried years ago, and Draco really doesn’t know what to do with any of it.

I absolutely adored this, and I thought the de-aging aspect was done is such a tasteful way. Such a good read.

13) Highly (in)Compatible by daisymondays [Teen, 36.8k]

Draco’s been shagging The Prat Who Lived on and off for a few months when his soul mark starts to change. Draco’s had to accept a lot of adjustments to his life, but accepting that Harry Potter could be his soulmate is one step too far. It can’t be true? Can it?

I LOVED THIS! Oh man, that ending!  Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant

14) Kiss the Joy (Until the Sun Rise) by ICMezzo [Mature, 37.8k]

The Room of Requirement was severely damaged in the war, but not so much that it could not provide for one lost student and another young hero—especially when they needed each other most of all.

An amazing, beautiful, tender fic! The ROR has given them the gift of each other, and I honestly love that it's just the two of them and no other characters. An incredible and soft read

15) December Never Felt So Wrong by MaesterChill / @maesterchill [Explicit, 50k]

'Twas the month before Christmas and sixteen year old Draco Malfoy had never felt worse. His attempts to kill Dumbledore were failing and, as usual, Harry Fucking Potter was a constant thorn in his side.

All that suddenly changed when Draco woke up 15 years in the future and discovered that not only was he allegedly shagging Harry Fucking Potter, he also had thinning hair and a five year old son, and no fucking clue how he got there.

Truly brilliant, and I was laughing from the start. The combination of the aging up, Harry’s off-tune singing to Muggle songs, and soft parenthood were all things I immediately fell in love with. Will be reading again and again

16) Catch Me If I Fall by keeli_marie [Explicit, 38.2k]

When Draco Malfoy collides with Harry Potter one morning while dropping the kids off at school, things don’t go quite the way either of them would have expected.

Another absolute gem, and I'm still reeling from how amazing it was. I'm always a bit hesitant with kid fics, but this is one of the best depictions of love between Harry and Draco that I've read. I love how supportive Astoria is. Such a lovely fic  

16) Love Found by Peachpety / @peachpety [Explicit, 7.5k]

During Harry’s sixth year, Draco Malfoy joins the Order as a double-agent and continues with his task to get the Death Eaters into the castle as assigned by Voldemort. Draco succeeds with his mission the evening Harry returns from the caves with Dumbledore. The boys reunite on the Astronomy Tower and, with the Death Eater’s arrival, are forced to engage in a fight, driving Harry to come to terms with his feelings about true friendship and romantic love.

SUCH a good rewrite of the astronomy tower scene. I can’t describe how much I love the pre-existing relationship, which is a trope I typically steer clear from. And the snark!!! Such a good fucking fic

17) Taro Milk Tea with a side of Depression by Veelawings / @veelawings [Mature, 1k]

Draco sat through twenty grievous minutes of Ministry-mandated group therapy for Newly Registered Magical Beings & Creatures — then promptly stormed out.

Okay, I loved this. The play format was so cool and fit the narration so well. Absolute perfection and SO. GOOD.

18) The Dragon At The Bottom Of The Garden by Zopno [Explicit, 52.3k]

At 25 Harry Potter's life was simple; he flew, sculpted, and had the vault in the back of his mind to keep all unpleasant business. It was stable, but when Draco Malfoy literally hit him with a giant rock; all that changed.

I loved the storyline, especially Animagus bird Harry!! This was such a unique take on an Animagus and post-war fic, and I loved reading it so much   

19) Exposure by GallaPlacidia [Mature, 26.9k]

When Seamus uncovers Draco Malfoy's camboy profile, he, Harry and Ron decide to anonymously book a private show so as to humiliate him later. Fascinated by Draco's confidence, Harry keeps booking private shows under the disguise...

Self prompt: Draco is a camboy. Harry betrays him.

I can't give this enough praise. The hurt of it all was so brilliant. A new favorite for sure

20) you've got the antidote for me by Kandakicksass [Mature, 20.7k]

When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want.

He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try.

Fuck. Like...fuck. This was so sad and angsty and perfect in all the right ways. Watching everything unfold was so painful but so worth it. Another new favorite

21) A Room Up There (And You In It) by thestarryknight [Teen, 59.2k]

When Preservationist Draco Malfoy was assigned to work on Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he was excited to delve into the gorgeous Black family antiques. His excitement quickly ended when something in the House decided it did not like his presence one bit. Featuring a grumpy antiques lover who most certainly did not sign up for this, encounters with a vengeful apparition, and a healthy application of Christmas spirit.

Absolutely fucking fantastic. This fic reads intimacy all over, despite there being no sex. I love preservationist Draco and the way in which information about Harry unfolds. I can’t say enough how much I loved this advent fic, and Starry did such a great job

And now for three fics that I have yet to read/need to emotionally prepare myself for:

1) Modern Love by Tackytiger / @tackytigerfic [Explicit, 61.2k]

Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.

And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what's he doing right, that Harry isn’t?

Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years.

And that’s what starts it all.

2) Dragons Don't Know Paradise by  tainara_black / @teacup-tai [Explicit, 50.9k]

In 2004, when Remus spends two scary weeks in the ITU due to complications of pneumonia and his HIV condition, Sirius walks around the house like a ghost and Harry finds comfort and strength in Draco through a chat in an online LGBT forum. Harry falls for him, but Draco has a lot of secrets and, before long, will need to come clean—even if he believes that no one is able to understand a dragon.

This is a story about falling in love online and about facing the reality of death, but above all, this is a story about hope, finding love and acceptance. (Non-magical / bookshop AU, written for the 25 days of Drarry 2020)

3) Aeternus Solem by onbeinganangel / @onbeinganangel [Explicit, 36.9k]

On December 1st, Harry Potter gets sent halfway across the world to attempt to break a possibly fatal curse on an unnamed British Unspeakable — except said Unspeakable is not unnamed at all and Harry has been in love with him for over four years.

{If anyone spots any mistakes in this list, PLEASE let me know! I hope you all have a lovely New Year’s, and may 2021 be less of a dumpster on fire than its predecessor 💜}

[xsamuu]

HEYYYYY!! I saw your ask box was open and I was wondering if I could request a headcanon? Where the reader is in a massive fight with a friend they haven't seen for like 3 years and the friend takes it too far by saying something like "That's your boyfriend? How gross" "Ew why does he look like that? Couldn't grab someone better? Ugly ho" or whatever you come with? Tendou, Bokuto, Kenma, Kags, Nishinoya please, if you will?

I screeched when I saw this omg thank you I hope this is up to your standards bebs 😼👍🏾 but uh I should say some did come out a little bit like scenarios but I tried to stick to headcanons sorry for that still hope you enjoy 🎃😼

~Admin Rizzo

Tendou Satori

-you was minding your own business walking through a park your hands intertwined with your lover when a ✨m u s t y✨ old friend you knew had decided to share there unwanted opinions

-Tendou could see how uncomfortable you was and wanted to remove you from the situation but as he went to walk around the obstacle you stopped dead in your tracks

-“That’s who your with oh my god that’s fucking gross, I guess you’ll hook up with anyone you thot”

-It’s safe to say that tendou had come up with thousands of insults by the time the slur left there mouth

-Who even was this person?— WAIT WHO THEY CALLING A THOT?!

-you wasn’t a very confrontational person but nevertheless you wasn’t about to let this person who wasn’t even in your day to day life anymore talk smack about your man

-you went to retaliate when a big arm swooped around your shoulder catching you off guard

-“Babe lets go I wanted to bring you to the park today not a circus” 🤡

-Needless to say your ‘friend’ was shocked and maybe a little intimidated

-You on the other hand had to summon all the strength in your body not to laugh in there face

-With his arm still wrapped around he moved you away from the situation the both of you quickly changing the subject to something more important

Bokuto Kōtarō

-Bokuto loves spoiling you

-your the love of his life and he will make sure you know this not only through his words but also his actions

-this however works both ways there isn’t something you wouldn’t do to show him how much you support and love him

-You was sitting in the crowd at one of his games it was a very important one winning this match would definitely get him recognized by some powerhouse teams

-every time he would score a point for his team he would look up at you and every time you would be there imitating his celebration “HEY HEY HEY THATS MY ACE” You felt only pride and absolute infatuation with this man

-you was cheering your heart out when you suddenly felt someone bump your shoulder (a little too hard to be an accident—)

-You swung your head around only to come face to face with an old friend from middle school they looked bitter asf and your conscience was telling you to just ignore them

-“Oh you have nothing to say to me now Huh? I see your at another one of these boring ass games I thought you didn’t have time for people?”

-It’s true at one point you did say that but you didn’t think you’d loose one of your closest friends because of it even so you continue to ignore them hoping they’d get the message and leave

-they didn’t.

-“So you and number 4 are together I’m assuming. I guess ugly attracts ugly”

-immediately you saw red but you couldn’t ruin this for bokuto important people were here. As if he could sense your distress he shot his eyes up to where you were in the stand

-He called a time out, and started running out the gym everyone was confused but when he reappeared in the stands you knew all to well that he had caught on

-“Babe I just noticed your supposed to be closer to the match your an important guest” he smiled you mouthed him a thank you and gathered your things walking a few rows closer to the front

-Thankfully Akaashi was there looking up at you distracting you. The owllike man glared at your old friend “I don’t know what you did to Y/N but you better leave before you have another problem”

-When you looked back your ex friend was nowhere to be seen you giggled as bokuto gave you a big kiss before returning to the court

Kozume Kenma

-Kenma isn’t a contentious person in fact he would much rather settle an issue in the most inconspicuous way possible

-Even so if he feels that him or his partner was disrespected in anyway he will not hesitate

-You and Kenma was at a gaming convention you had been planning since the beginning of February (it’s now late April)

-You had sat through the entrance ceremony and was walking around admiring all the stalls and you were both having so much fun

-Kenma had left you for a split second to get someone’s autograph it was the animator from a game he played religiously you didn’t mind you stayed put and was scrolling through your phone

-“Long time no see y/n” you lifted your head to the sound of your name being called and made perfect eye contact with an old ‘friend’

-If you were being completely honest you hated them all they did was make you feel like an inferior insect whenever you two were together you hummed a ‘yo’ before going back to your phone

-“Still a quiet freak eh LuLu I guess you here on your own or something”

-Lulu was the name of a magical girl from a cartoon you used to love but upon finding out people would use it to mock and degrade you

-you was gonna walk away the ridiculous nickname when you heard a familiar voice

-“no y/n is with me and you are?” It was a genuine question but anyone who didn’t know Kenma would take his pack of expression as bored or sarcastic

-The person scoffed and pointed accusingly at Kenma “That’s who your with LuLu you couldn't do any better HE’S JUST AS LIFELESS AS YOU ARE”

-You tugged on Kenma sleeve motioning to just leave as you felt uncomfortable but Kenma wasn’t having it you had been so excited to be here and with him and this nobody came out of nowhere and started harassing you

-“Listen um going to say this in a way you could understand— he smirked at you and then opened his mouth again

-What escaped his mouth next left you shocked, scared, a little embarrassed for him even but mostly touched

-he cleared his throat

-“lifeless. I’m not lifeless in fact I have a burning hatred for you right now. And that why I feel no guilt in what I’m about to do.”

-You gulped and held on tighter to kenma’s sleeve mentally preparing yourself for what he was about to do

-“YoU HaTe LuLu’S tRanSforMatiOn sOng?!” He practically shouted. Instantly a horde or gamers, writers, weebs and more bombarded the area shouting and screaming and causing a scene

- From all the commotion it’s sounded like your ‘friend’ was ok but some of the words leaving the mouths of the mob were kinda cruel

-you smirked and Kenma led you away

-You know he doesn’t like being the center of attention but he still protected you and for that you’d be sure to thank him for that

Kageyama Tobio

-Kags never really liked leaving you behind when he had to go to different countries

-without you it made him anxious and you would reassure him that you’d be fine and eagerly awaiting his return

-Including the return of his big, fat juicy—

Ahem heart 🙂

-You had been sitting in a café Face Timing him

-You’d often have dates like this and you both enjoyed them you was talking to him when someone took up a seat next to you

-“Hey Y/n funny running into you here” a familiar voice echoed

-A w k w a r d you hadn’t seen or heard from this person since a fight you had a couple years ago why now?

-You had nearly forgotten about your boyfriend on the other side of your iPad screen until “Oh you bought a friend y/n”

-you was at a loss for words but before you could answer the unwanted annoyance to your left answered for you

-‘We’re not friends y/n cut me off because she’s toxic” it took kageyama a solid 10 seconds to realize that this wasn’t a real friend and that you were silently asking for help

-You rested your head in hand obscuring the person from kags field of vision therefore blocking there vision of your face and boyfriend

-hoping they’d get the message without you having to vocalize it

-they stood up and you let out a breath you didn’t know you was holding

-“I wasn’t checking out your friend don’t worry he isn’t my type I prefer cute boys” they spat

-Before you could even assess the fact that they pretty much called your boyfriend ugly you was already pissed at the fact that they referred to kags as your friend

-you stood up abruptly and it’s like they were waiting for you to loose your cool all hope was lost when you heard him clear his throat

-“[there Instagram name] Damn you was easy to find. I liked you post”

-You felt a tinge of confusion race through you but watching all the blood in there body rush to your friends face made you curious

-“DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW” people were definitely looking in your direction

-“Leave then I will” Now you was curious what the help did he do?

-seconds, literal seconds. The annoyance was nowhere to be seen

-“Kags..wha—”

“I shared there IP address in the comments :p”

- “PFFT kAgS!”

Nishinoya Yū

-Noya made sure that you felt like the only person in the world before he asked you out, so when you started dating you didn’t think he could get any more protective over you

-You was sitting in the cinema with him both smiling and listening on to the movie

-He fidgets a lot in his seat but you dont mind you know he cant help it besides you find it cute he is just so full of energy

-“Babe imma go to the toilet be right back” he kissed your cheek and left

-you continue to watch the movie until you feel someone slither into the seat next to you and hearing the voice your your temples irks and your expression one of annoyance

-One of your ex friends for how many years ago had to be in the same theatre at the same time on the SAME FUCKING DAY

-they didn't seem like they were moving so you just spoke first

- “can i help you.?” 

-No response :/

-You were even more irritated than before

-Noya came back a few minutes later and noticed another person had sat right next to you 

-Noya is dense VERY VERY DENSE he assumed you ran into one of your friends so he didn't question it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-After the movie finished you grabbed your things and rushed to get out of that situation

-The same person had finally said something after a whole hour

- “That’s who you came with.. You really know how to pick em an annoying toddler really Y/n your honestly pathetic--”

-It didn’t bother Noya he has been called short all his life this isn’t any different but this rando was obviously upsetting you and he would NOT have that

-Noya would step infront of you and confront the person they get a warning 

-one fucking warning 

-If they don’t take it i shit you not noya is going for the ankles periodt

- “I DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE BUT YOUR UPSETTING MY PARTNER THE FUCKING DOOR IS BEHIND YOU SO TURN AROUND”

-Noya looked like the aggressor and its safe to say he may have caused a scene but he would be a fool not to step in and protect you with all you got

[amindofstone]

Emptiness filled by sorrow

a/n: The moment I found out about Sabo and the way he grew up. The moment I learned about his amnesia. The moment I saw him take the pipe out of all the other weapons during his training as a kid, got me crying! I felt so bad for him. I was heartbroken! I was sobbing at 1 am and shedding tears. Damn me and my emotional and sensitive ass.

Words: 2332

Genre: anime imagine?

Warnings: This is going to be a bit sad. Just a bit, I guess. [Maybe grammar or spelling mistakes. (I genuinely apologize. English is not my mother tongue and I´m really trying to improve. So please be so kind and have mercy)]

Spoiler(s): Mention of the battle in Marineford, mention of Ace´s death, mention of his childhood with Ace and Luffy, mention of his amnesia. Other than that please don´t spoil me or any reader if there are any facts about him above that because I´m… well… I forgot what the title of the chapter was but Sanji is (I´m crying!!!!) getting married (?!). That´s where I am….

Character(s): Sabo/Chief of staff/ Sabo the revolutionary

Info: For better reading keep in mind that the words in italic are Sabo´s train of thoughts.

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. This took me a lot of time. So please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to the rightful owner. If anyone knows who drew this please tell me ASAP so I can give them the credits (found on the internet). !!!

                             -------------------------------------------------------          

“Thank you for helping me Koala. You were a huge help.”. the blond man smiled at his friend. “No need to thank me. I´m glad I could help. And besides I owned you anyways thinking about the last time you helped me reorganize the archive.”, the young lady kept talking to him while making sure to keep his mind occupied with anything but the news that put the world into a tremendous shook. “There we are. And now do all of us the favor and go to bed and rest. We can´t have you fall asleep in another meeting with Dragon.”, said the female partner and friend of the chief of staff. “No worries. I will definitely go to sleep. The amount of work I had to deal with today was enough.”, the tall blond man reassured his friend that he will rest before they both parted and wished each other a good night.

Sabo, the revolutionary army’s number 2, made his way to his room. His room that was a place in which he could drop the happy and jolly facet he had. His room, where he could stop pretending that he was fine. His room, his place, his four walls that could shield him from the eyes of the people who saw his as the strongest.

Sabo entered his room while he still had a little smile upon his lips. A smile he kept alive until he closed his door and locked it. He held onto the door handle tightly until his knuckles turned white and slowly laid his head on the door and closed his eyes. He tried his best to keep a hold of his mind. He tried his best to not let his mind trap him in scenarios that probably never happened. He tried to keep himself far away from his mind that told him that everything was his guilt. He tried his best to not listen to his mind that told him that if he wouldn´t have left and set sail 10 years ago the battle would have never happened. If only he could turn back the time and never leave his home. If only he stayed there and waited for a bit longer. If I stayed there. If I stayed in that hell of a whole that man called my home would I have been able to go back to Ace and Luffy? Would Ace be still alive?

Without knowing he was trapped in his mind all over again. Like every other night in the past three weeks. Sabo let go of the door handle and let out a heavy sigh.

He was exhausted. He was tired. He was restless.

It is not like he didn´t wanted to sleep. It´s just that he simply couldn´t sleep. Whenever he tried to close his eyes, whenever he searched for the comfort of his bed and sleep. His heart clenched while his soul asked him how he could sleep and rest when Luffy had to suffer all alone just by himself. Luffy, the boy he called his little brother.

Luffy. I wonder what you are doing right now. Did you eat? Did you sleep? Are you hurt? Are you alone or with your crew? I wish I could ask you but I don´t know if I would be able to look into your eyes after all the incidents and years that past. He felt numb. He felt small and weak, something he usually never felt. He was strong and a fantastic fighter. He was smart and a good man but he felt like all of that washed away. Fake is what he saw himself as, after he had all of his memories back. He felt like the person he grew into was not him. The person the entire world knew, feared and respected. The revolutionary army´s number 2 and chief of staff, Sabo.

The tall gracious looking man took of his beloved hat and placed it on his dresser that stood right next to his full length mirror. Who am I? What am I? Where is home? Who is home? He was lost. He felt lost like the moment he was nearly killed by a celestial dragon. He nearly got killed. He nearly was about to die. Die. Death. He never thought that he would ever want something like that. He never thought he ever would think about something as scary as that. But right at this moment that was exactly what he wanted. Death. He wanted to die. He wanted to be the one that got buried and not his brother. His brother that always suffered and was left alone. Ace. Sabo couldn´t bear looking at his face and turned his head to the side and closed his eyes. You didn´t deserve to die. Slow steps lead him to his closet which he opened with trembling hands. Left glove and then the right glove was taken off and neatly put away. Breath in, breath out. That’s what the young man told himself over and over again while trying to not tell himself that he selfishly left his brothers behind just to set sail alone although they promised each other to do that together when they were 17. We promised.

How could he leave his brothers alone? How could he be so selfish, when they promised to stay together forever and always? Tears threaded to fall down his cheeks but he held them back with all his might, when he remembered what Ace once said. “Did you guys know?! We can become brothers when we exchange this cup of sake!” He clearly remembers his voice. The voice of his brother he betrayed. He clearly remembers his little brothers laugh and excited look in his eyes when he heard what was said. A soft sob left Sabo and he put a hand over his mouth to hold back more. He tightly closed his eyes and tried his best to fight the guilt and pain in chest that grew with every minute passing.

He remembers the letter he wrote them. How could he forget the promise he gave them. He remembers every word he wrote. He remembers the joy he felt while writing to his brother. “We brothers should become pirates one of these days! Then we can meet again somewhere out there. This ocean is vast and free. We´ll meet again someday!”

He lied to him and Luffy. I lied. I lied and broke the promise. I lied and broke his trust in me. I lied. If he only could turn back the time. If he only set sail a bit later. If he only waited a bit longer. If he only waited for his brothers. If he only were a bit stronger. Weak is what I am. A traitor is what I am. His clenched fists trembled and he started to focus on his breathing again with the hope to calm down. Slow steps were made towards his balcony while his now open eyes were glued to the floor. His light blue curtain hid the door to his balcony that held him back to open the door and breath in the fresh air of the night. The fabric was thin and allowed the light of the moon dimly enter his bedroom that was other than that dark. Sabo pushed the thin fabric aside and let the light the moon put over the world shine into his room. The moon that filled his room with a bright light seemed to be his only comfort since the day he started to remember again. The door in front of the young man was now open what allowed the soft wind enter his room.

Careful steps were put to reach thr balustrade. As if someone might hear him. As if he would wake up every person on the island if he was to loud. With his head lowly hanging he reached for the barrier that stopped him from walking. That stopped him from falling and dying. How could he die? Ace, the little boy that never turned his back to any fight. The little boy that had no fear when it came to fights between stronger and taller opponents. The little boy that turned down any wild animal back at home. The little boy that always hunted the biggest animals with a huge grin on his face. The memories of him and his brothers as kids put a soft small smile on his lips. The thought about them coming back home with new wounds and a bunch of new scratches made a small chuckle leave the boy while hot tears streaming down his cheeks. “Ace. I´m so sorry.”, said the now fully crying revolutionary. “I´m sorry for not being able to keep my promise and see you and our little brother.”

“All this time I could have seen you. All this time I could have spend so much time with you, without having to fear anything. We could have watched over Luffy together. Oh, Ace…”, his hands that were tightly holding onto the balustrade turned his knuckles white from the pressure. He wanted to scream. He wanted to destroy anything around him. He didn´t know how to deal with the loose and the knowledge of him being able to have him around if only he would have been stronger. His legs turned weak and couldn´t hold him anymore so he fell on his knees. What did I do, that life hated me so much. I only wanted to be free and be left in peace. Am I asking for to much? His hands that were lying flat on the balconies floor turned into fists. They turned into fists only to be smashed against the floor over and over again. “Why!? Why!? Why did you have to die?!”, his heart was aching and his mind was going crazy. He didn´t know how to deal with the pain. The pain hurt him more than any weapon could. It pained him more than any war could. If only he could stop remembering. If only he could get back the emptiness that he felt in his heart. He might have felt empty and sometimes even lost but at least it didn´t hurt him as much as remembering did. He didn´t wanted to remember. He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget so badly.

Sabo didn´t know what to do anymore. He needed to let go. He couldn´t hold his emotion in anymore. He was in the verge of breaking and losing control. So he simply let go and let his emotions take overhand. He let the pain spread all over his body and let sorrow take over his mind and soul. The blond man sat up and looked up to the sky and screamed. He screamed from the top of his lungs while more and more tears wetted his cheeks. “You said you´ll never die!! What made you break your promise! Is it because I was unfaithful?! How could you betray our little brother!? How could you betray yourself!!”

Sabo let pain take over his mind and soul. He let his guards down and allowed himself to drown in sorrow and regret. The calm and peaceful night with the most beautiful full moon was confronted by the helpless screams and sobs of the heartbroken male. He forgot where he was. He forgot who he was and allowed himself to get lost in the emptiness that was now filled by hatred, pain and sorrow. Every person in the hideout could hear him. They could hear his scream and feel his pain. They felt horrible for the young man that always had a beautiful smile on his lips. They wanted to help him and comfort him but sadly no one knew how to. So it came that they all silently listened to his screams filled by pain and loneliness. And absolutely no one ´t dare to close their eyes to fall asleep while he suffered.

It took the heartbroken man a while until he calmed down. It took more than just an hour for his tears to stop falling and wetting his cheeks. But eventually they stopped. Stopped only for the boy wishing he could cry more. If only I were stronger.

The clear night sky over the revolutionary´s hideout was slowly darkening while the moon that shined brighter than any other night got bit by bit covered by dark clouds. Sabo couldn´t cry anymore but he wished he could. He wished he could cry away the pain over the loose of his treasure he called brother from the bottom of his heart. But he couldn´t. The quiet night that was his only comfort seemed to understand him and his pain that lingered upon his chest so it cried for him. It cried for him and over his lose like a mother would cry over the pain of its child.

Rain wetted his clothes and the land he was standing on. His head that was lowly hanging on his body looked up at the sky and let his face get wetted by the rain. His face that not even awhile ago was wetted by his hot tears, got now wetted by the tears of the night sky. And for once he felt understood and embraced with genuine love and support.

With a soft small smile upon his lips that barely could be seen, he stood up and slowly made his way back to his bedroom. Sabo was rain drenched from head to toe but he didn´t mind at all. He felt numb and at the same time relived. His eyes were burning from the huge amount of tears he shed and needed to rest just like his entire body. He looked around his room until his gaze fell on his bed to which he headed to only to let himself fall on it and close his eyes with only one thought on his mind.

I will find Luffy.

[btsqualityy]

Scripted: Part 10

Namjoon x Reader; Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, President!Namjoon, Head of Security!Jimin

Warnings: (Reluctant) open relationship, mentions of cheating

Author’s Note: This part is pretty short so I’m sorry but here it is! Hope you guys enjoy it!

“Jimin, let me go,” you giggled, trying but failing to get Jimin to unwrap his arms from around your waist.

“Noooo,” he whined playfully, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck from where he stood behind you. “I want you to stay.”

“I already let you convince me to stay again last night,” you pointed out. “I have to head back to the Blue House, because Namjoon and I have a dinner that we’re supposed to be hosting together.”

“And you’re really gonna go back there?” Jimin questioned and you sighed heavily as you nodded your head.

“I have to,” you shrugged. “At least until I figure out how to handle all of this.”

“I get it,” he nodded and you turned around in his arms and wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“Trust me, I’d much rather stay here with you and not look at his lying face,” you grumbled, making Jimin laugh at your expression.

“You gotta do what you gotta do baby bird,” he smiled. “But you can call me if you need me, ok?”

“Alright,” you nodded. “You work tomorrow right?”

“Yeah, I’ll be in my office most likely,” he replied. 

“Then I’ll stop by and see you,” you told him and he nodded. “Thank you again, for letting me stay here and for letting me vent. Also, for the amazing orgasms too,” you giggled, recalling how Jimin made you come on his fingers again when you woke up in his bed this morning, with him next to you this time.

“Stop thanking me,” Jimin chuckled. “I told you, I just want you to be happy and I meant that.”

“I know,” you whispered, leaning forward and kissing him gently. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Jimin said as he unwrapped his arms from around you. “Be safe baby bird.”

“I will,” you promised, waving at him one last time before you opened the front door to his apartment and stepped out into the hallway.

................................ 

As soon as you stepped foot into the Blue House, you could both hear and see the hustle and bustle that was going on as the workers were putting the finishing touches onto the house, specifically the large dining room, for the guests that would soon be arriving. 

As you began to make your way to your bedroom, you heard a familiar voice calling your name.

“Y/N!” You turned around and saw Momo running towards you, and a large grin fell onto your lips as she ran up to you and threw her arms around you in a tight hug. “God, I missed you!”

“I missed you too!” You chuckled as you hugged her back. 

“Remind me to never go home for family events as long as I live, ok?” Momo requested as she pulled away from the hug and you nodded your head. “Where have you been though? Namjoon’s been looking for you.”

“Oh, fuck him,” you let slip and Momo raised her eyebrows at you. Knowing that she’d want the full story, you grabbed her arm and pulled her into the first empty room that you saw, which just happened to be one of the bathrooms. Closing the door and locking it behind you, you turned around to see Momo leaning up against the counter top.

“What happened?” She demanded to know.

“I caught Namjoon with Hyejin two days ago,” you revealed and Momo’s eyes widened. 

“Are you serious?” She asked and you nodded your head. “Oh Y/N-ah, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, it gets worse,” you said. “They were in our bed.”

“Your bed?” Momo wondered as she pointed at you. “Like, the one that’s right down the hall?”

“Yeah, that one,” you confirmed.

“God, I know Namjoon’s been a dick but that’s low even for him,” she huffed. “So, what happened after that?”

“I kicked Hyejin’s ass,-”

“As you should have,” Momo interrupted you, nodding her approval. 

“I slapped Namjoon and then I ran out of here,” you told her. “I didn’t know where to go, so I called Jimin and went to his apartment.”

“Wait, why’d you call Jimin?” Momo questioned.

“Oh, I might’ve left out the part where Jimin and I kissed like an hour before I came home and caught Namjoon with Hyejin,” you admitted and Momo’s eyes widened.

“What?!” She shrieked happily and you threw your finger up to your lips, shushing her harshly because you didn’t want anyone hearing her. “Ok, I’m sorry but you and Jimin kissed?!”

“We did,” you smiled softly at the memory. “When I got to his place, I vented about catching them and he let me sleep over. The next day, he made me breakfast and I vented to him about everything. How me and Joon started dating, the first time I caught him with Hyejin, the arrangement, everything.”

“Wow,” Momo huffed.

“After that, he offered to let me stay with him and we did face masks together.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet and pure,” Momo smiled.

“And then I may or may not have let him finger me on his couch and then again this morning but that’s besides the point,” you shrugged.

“Ok, I take that back,” Momo smirked. “Who knew you still had a little hoe in you Y/N-ah?”

“Shut up,” you groaned. 

“So what, are you seeing Jimin now?” 

“I mean, we haven’t really defined anything,” you replied. “We just know that we like each other.”

“Well, I’m happy for you,” Momo said. “I haven’t seen you smile like this in months.”

“Thanks Momo,” you smiled before taking a second to look at the time that was on the clock hanging on the wall. “I guess I better go get ready.”

“Good luck,” Momo told you, giving you a quick hug before you unlocked the door and opened it, the both of you going your separate ways. You walked down the hall to your bedroom, opening the door and walking inside. Namjoon was there, working on fixing his cuff-links, and he looked up when he heard you.

“Hey,” he greeted you.

“Mm,” was all you said in response as you paced over to the walk-in closet, opening the door and going straight for your side of the closet. You found the dress that you had picked out for tonight, and you quickly shed your clothes to work on getting dressed.

“Are you not gonna talk to me?” Namjoon wondered and when you looked up, he was standing in the doorway of the closet.

“What do we have to talk about Namjoon?” You demanded to know as you looked up at him. “If you can’t tell me why you decided to fuck her again, out of all the women in the world, then we have nothing to discuss as far as I’m concerned.”

“It’s complicated,” he tried to say but you cut him off.

“Bullshit,” you spit harshly. “This whole arrangement has been fucked up from the beginning but you literally couldn’t do the one fucking thing that I asked of you, which was to not see her again.” A few minutes of silence passed between the two of you as you pulled on your dress, zipping it up and fixing it on your body.

“Maybe we should just stop fooling ourselves,” you spoke up as you turned around to look at Namjoon. “Maybe we should just say forget this whole thing and you can go be with Hyejin.”

“Y/N-ah, no,” Namjoon stated firmly as he stepped over to you, wrapping his hands around your arms. “We made an agreement and even if we hadn’t, I still love you.”

“How can you expect me to believe that when you don’t act like it or show it?” You asked him genuinely. 

“Have you ever even thought about why I agreed to this whole ‘open marriage’ thing?” Namjoon wondered. “Because I love you and I wanted our marriage to work.”

“But you’re still going out and fucking other women.”

“I didn’t start fucking other women until January, right before the inauguration,” he revealed.

“But, we made the arrangement in October,” you replied slowly.

“Exactly. I didn’t touch another woman for the first three months because I was trying to win back your trust and trying to work things out,” he explained. “You were so closed off, which is understandable, and you would barely talk to me unless we were in public and I didn’t know what else to do. I figured that you were set on our marriage just being the arrangement from now on, so I let it go.”

“You,-” you started to say but you were interrupted by multiple knocks on the door. “What is it?”

“It’s hair and makeup,” you heard your stylist, Joohyun, call out.

“Just a minute,” you replied but your reply was followed by a few more urgent knocks.

“We kind of need to get you in now Y/N-ah, if you and President Kim are going to be on time for the dinner,” Joohyun replied.

“Alright, alright,” you relented, turning to look at Namjoon for a few seconds before stepping around him and walking out of the closet. You started to move towards the door, but you paused when you saw that the bed was still there; the one that you had caught Namjoon and Hyejin in. You turned to look over your shoulder, seeing that Namjoon had followed you out of the closet and was leaning against the wall, watching you.

“And get rid of this fucking bed,” you spat, not waiting for Namjoon to reply before you went to let your stylist into the bedroom.

................................

“And now introducing, President and First Lady Kim,” one of the workers at The Blue House announced and you tightened your grip on Namjoon’s inner arm as he led you into the large dining room, where literally dozens of guests were waiting. Namjoon pulled your chair out for you and you smiled at him before taking a seat, watching as Namjoon then moved to stand at the head of the long table.

“Welcome and thank you all for coming tonight,” Namjoon began, immediately commanding the attention of everyone in the room. “Y/N and I are so happy that you all could join us tonight, as this dinner is something that we’ve been planning since I assumed office.”

As your husband spoke, you found it harder and harder to be able to sit there and at least pretend as though you were actively listening. With everything’s that’s happened to you in the past three days, you weren’t able to pull on your excellent faking skills and put on the face of a woman that was madly in love with her husband. In fact, the more you listened to Namjoon, the more that the feeling of resentment began to bubble up inside of you. He was the perfect President and he was great at portraying the image of being a wonderful husband; so, why couldn’t he actually be that for you?

“So again, on behalf of myself and my wife,” Namjoon sent you a soft smile as he glanced at you. “We’d like to thank you all again and we hope that you enjoy tonight.” Everyone began applauding then and the person that you were sitting next to, who happened to be the Minister of Oceans and Fisheries, leaning over to you.

“Your husband is an amazing speaker,” he told you and you immediately plastered on a fake smile.

“He is,” you nodded in agreement. “He’s very good at telling people what he thinks they need to hear.”

................................

Tag List:  @toddsgirl27 @leftieaquarius @joyfulkmusicfan @jennyjq @xcharlottemikaelsonx @pop228 @belatona @babebri144 @dragonqueen01 @paolaa9700 @yiarsan @sunshinein17 @daydreambrliever @lyralefayc @weirdestpersoninearth @peachesandcreamsthings @missseoulite @ramengrace @minyoongi-infiresme @0minabean0 @korkanswers @dchimminie @mysr3 @emily2404xx @leilalago​ @vonvi-blog @btsxdoll @heartfeltscribblings @nooooooooona​ @eternalmoonji​ @lyralefay​ 

[fromtheo-withlove]

Pt. 4 - A Reunion

Finally get to bring in a bit of comfort, I hope you guys enjoy! It’s been such an amazing experience getting to share this story with all of you. Apologies in advance - it’s a bit of a long chapter but I’m hoping it’s worth the read.

TW: prisoner shackled, emotional whump, guilt and self-loathing, mention of injuries

Tag-list: @ihaveacrushonjester @tears-and-lilies @starnight-whump

Masterlist | Previous | Next

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Even before her mother had passed away 4 years ago, Princess Aurelia had always been incredibly close to her father. She treasured the time she got to spend with him and wanted to be like him when she became a ruler herself. Stories of the adventures and bravery of his youth were legendary and he had a way of charming everyone he spoke to. And Aurelia loved him.

But after watching Bennett and Gabriel’s arrival unfold and hearing about her father’s plans for them, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to see him in that light again. He had been different since the war began, quicker to anger, quiet, but she didn’t think he’d do something like this.

He had admitted Gabriel was an innocent in all of this, yet he let him think he was going to die, left him terrified and blindfolded while he played mind games. He had even whispered to her that he wasn’t going to actually let him die, but told her that he’d make it worse for him if she was uncooperative. She just couldn’t forgive him for all of this.

“Well,” she thought, “he may be acting like a stubborn monster, but I inherited every bit of that stubbornness and I’m not backing down either.”

She didn’t have any ideas on how to get Bennett and Gabriel out of this mess, but she was determined to see them at least, take care of them as much as she could.

It ended up being relatively easy to make it happen. She sought out Robert, the head of the castle guard, and he had ultimately agreed to let her visit the dungeons while one of the guards he trusted was on duty. He had known the princes when they were young. He had even given them sword lessons for a time and had been a tough teacher, but had a soft spot for them as well. It appeared he still did.

“Aye, war is war, but those boys were good lads. It’s a shame it’s come to this. I’ve told my guards to take it easy with them, but half this damn castle is hungry for their blood. They could use a friend in this mess.”

The guard’s first shift was that night, just past sundown. She passed the preceding hours pacing her room, gathering food and medical supplies to smuggle in, and trying to mentally steel herself for the reunions she was about to have.

The dungeon was vast, spanning the length of the castle. The king had ordered the princes be kept separately to avoid conspiring, as if they posed any threat in chains, shackled down. She was worried about Gabriel, but she decided to visit Bennett first. She needed answers and she needed a clear head for this conversation.

As the guard let her into Bennett’s cell, he reassured her that the prince would be shacked down and wouldn’t harm her. She almost laughed at the absurdity of the reassurance before remembering the crimes everyone believed Bennett committed. Rather than laugh, she nodded politely and thanked the guard as he closed the door and went back to his post.

It had already grown dark outside and the cell would have been pitch black if not for the glow of the lantern that Aurelia held. Luckily, she thought, there isn’t much here to light. The cell was small – enough space to pace in circles if the prisoner wasn’t shackled and enough room for them to lay down, but not much beyond that. Bennett sat in the corner looking tired and wary, his hands shackled behind him on a chain bolted to the floor.

He was the first to speak up. “Why are you here?” he asked, his eyes mistrustful.

She didn’t blame him for such a blunt greeting under the circumstances.

“I needed to see you, talk to you. Apologize. What happened earlier, the show my father put on…. It… shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry.” She slowly walked closer as she spoke, then kneeled down near him.

She raised her hand to place it on his shoulder, confirm to herself that he was real and there, but he flinched and pulled away from her reach.

“I don’t deserve your time or pity, Auri. I wish I did. God, I wish I did. Please just go to Gabriel, he’s the innocent one in all of this. And do you want to know the worst part? He has every reason to hate me and he’s probably more worried about me than himself.” He let out a bitter laugh. “You know how good he is and you’ve already heard how much of a monster I am. Just go.”

Aurelia gave Bennett a hard glance. “Benn, stop it with all the self-loathing and self-sabotage. I’m going to see Gabriel after this. Let’s not waste time with you trying to convince me to leave, unless you truly have no wish to see me.”

In truth, he desperately wanted her company and in that moment he couldn’t bring himself to lie and say otherwise. When he stayed silent for a few seconds, she continued talking.

“I came here because I wanted to see you. I’m a grown woman now, I can make my own decisions.”

He finally spoke up, more quietly than before. “I know you can, I’m sorry… You have every right to stay here, but I don’t know what to say.”

“Well I didn’t come here to throw around accusations, you faced enough of that today, but, please, help me understand how things got to this point. Did you really murder innocents in those villages? I- I just can’t believe that. I need to hear it from you, without an audience. How could the same boy I knew, the one who wouldn’t hurt a fly, ever do something like that?”

She said that she couldn’t believe it, but Bennett noticed her stumble on her words, saw the fear in her eyes at his response. He knew her doubt in him was deserved, but it still somehow hurt.

“That boy you knew was pathetic, weak, naïve. When I returned to Lianhar, I had to see that and grow up. It’s the way the world works, Auri.”

Aurelia shook her head sadly. “Your father really did a number on you.” She stayed silent for a moment before asking quietly, “Do you remember the baby bird?”

“Obviously I do… why?”

“Humor me, what do you remember about that day, Benn?”

He knew what she was trying to do, but it had been so long since he’d been spoken to with compassion and a part of him wanted it to last as long as possible. “Okay… We were probably 11, maybe 12. It was springtime. It was that time of year when it’s finally starting to get warm but the weather keeps changing. There was that crazy wind and rain storm. The day after the storm we were so excited to collect fallen sticks and build our own little fortress.”

“We never did get around to building one,” Aurelia remarked with a small smile.

Bennett paused for a moment at Aurelia’s remark, but didn’t want to dwell on unfinished childhood dreams. It hurt too much to think about. He continued.

“Gabriel was inside, probably reading some textbook. We went down to the old oaks, and there was the baby bird, almost hidden in the tall grass. He was so small, and cute in an ugly way, with his feathers still growing in.”

Aurelia smiled genuinely at the memory. “You were amazed by it, shouting at me to come over. Until you saw its broken wing. I told you there was nothing we could do, tried to comfort you, but you were so upset about it.”

He nodded. “I was sad. I think I named him Momo.” He felt the corner of his mouth creep up in a smirk, the closest thing he’d had to a smile in weeks.

“You weren’t just sad, you were heartbroken. You laid near it crying and talking to it for almost an hour.”

“Auri, I get it, I was an overly dramatic child.”

“No Benn, you were loving and hated to see anyone or anything suffering. That bird would’ve died without you.”

Bennett scoffed. “No, your memory is way off. Gabriel was the one who saved him. I just sat there like a blubbering idiot.”

“I know he mended its wing, but he wouldn’t have even known about the bird if you hadn’t refused to come inside for lunch. He did always have a knack for medicine, but it was your heart that saved the bird.”

Bennett’s slight smirk was gone. He grew silent and leaned against the cell wall, no longer looking at Aurelia. When he spoke again, his voice had hardened.

“Well, regardless, real life isn’t like that bird story. And like I said, I had to grow up.”

“So you’re saying that you did kill them? Those innocent people?”

“No Auri,” Bennett snapped, his tone more annoyed than he intended. “I didn’t myself, but what difference does it make if I held the blade or my soldiers did? I didn’t stop them. That blood is on my hands.” He finally looked back at her, eyes narrowed, “I’m sorry if that gets in the way of you reminiscing on idyllic childhood memories.”

Aurelia raised her eyebrows, but didn’t take the bait. “So was it your idea? A plan to show strength? Did you want to do it?”

“Stop, it doesn’t matter.”

Aurelia stood up. “Just answer the question,” she commanded angrily. The sight of Bennett flinching at her demand was like a bucket of cold water on her anger. She quieted. “Please Benn, I need to know. If you still have any feelings of friendship towards me, tell me the truth.”

“You’re going to play that card?” Bennett said angrily. “What do you want me to say? That I never grew out of my weakness? That I didn’t want to lead a battalion, but conceded after just 10 minutes of pressure from my father? That my men never respected me, that they resented me for not allowing them their fun? That they killed my squire and pretended he died in an enemy attack? That they made veiled threats when Gabriel visited with medical supplies? That they were ready to stab me in the back because they felt my tactics were too passive? And instead of stamping out the disloyalty or, even better, dying for my own morals, that I gave up and handed my second-in-command the reigns?”

As he spoke, the anger in Bennett’s voice began to soften, but the bitterness and pain remained. “It doesn’t matter if I didn’t want them to pillage villages or harm civilians, I took a coward’s way out and convinced myself that what they did was out of my hands. I didn’t think they’d go so far.” His voice started to break.

“I really didn’t think they would, Auri. It will haunt me for any days I have left. But I should’ve known what I was doing. A good leader would’ve avoided that bloodshed. When I was a child, I’d cry about the injustices of the world, but then I actually had the power to change things and I was too much of a goddamn coward.”

Aurelia stood staring at her friend, tears in her eyes. “So, now you know,” he whispered. “You can leave with your answers.”

Instead of turning to the door, the princess knelt down face to face with Bennett and wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. The gesture broke down his last barriers, and he began to cry into her shoulder.

“Benn, listen to me. You were forced into an unfair situation from the start. You didn’t ask for any of this. You avoided innocent bloodshed for a long time. They killed someone close to you, threatened you and Gabriel. Put you in an impossible position. You do not deserve this.”

He continued to cry for a few minutes as Aurelia stroked his hair. It was better than he deserved, but he needed comfort more than he ever had and he knew there was a chance this embrace would be the last he ever received. He only regretted not being able to hug her back.

Eventually, he began to breathe more normally and Aurelia let him go.

She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. “I’ve been trying to change things for you both, I swear I’ve been trying, but… my father….”

“Auri, the fact that you even visited is more than I can ask for. I’ve already accepted that I’m not getting out of this mess, don’t anger your father over something impossible.” He paused, then continued, “But my brother…. I know it’s unfair to ask and it’s probably not doable, but if there’s any chance for Gabriel, if you see any way to convince your father to spare him, please try.”

“I promise I’ll keep trying, but I don’t want to give any false hopes about the odds.”

Bennett just nodded.

Aurelia’s eyes suddenly lit up as she remembered what she had smuggled in. “I almost forgot, I brought you some food!”

“I’m not sure I can stomach it right now to be honest.”

Aurelia looked skeptical. “When’s the last time you ate?”

Bennett didn’t even bother to answer the question. He sighed dramatically. “Fine, you’re right, I need food.”

“I knew it! You always hated to eat when you were stressed out, but then you’d end up exhausted and feeling worse.”

“I guess some things never change. Like you acting like a mother hen, trying to take care of me. “Benn, wear your jacket it’s cold. Benn, eat your breakfast. Benn, it’s not a good idea to jump off the stable roof into a tightly compacted bale of hay.” I guess I should’ve listened to you on that last one,” he said with a grin.

“And I guess I should just lean into the mother hen for today – I also brought medical supplies. Your shoulder and head looked injured earlier. Can I see them?”

He nodded. “They’re from the fight when I was captured, but they’re really not bad. I’ve had worse.”

She examined the wounds for a moment. “Okay tough guy, but they’re still pretty bad. I can’t leave anything visible like bandages unfortunately, but I’ll clean them out and apply some ointment to help numb them a bit. I’ll ask Robert if he’s willing to have the guards bandage them before tomorrow night, maybe under the guise of appearances for the banquet or something.”

The mention of the banquet brought Bennett back to reality. “Do you know what your father has planned?”

“No more than you do, I’m sorry. But I do know he plans to keep you both alive for a while, for better or for worse.”

Auri spent some time treating Bennett’s injuries, trying not to think about how many more she’d be caring for over the next few weeks. She needed to take things one day at a time.

When she was finished, she packed up her things and wrapped Bennett in one more hug. “I should go see Gabriel now, I can’t risk wandering around too late and having my father discover I’ve seen either of you. I’ll come back though, as much as I can.”

As she headed to the door, Bennett felt overcome with gratitude that she planned to come back. “Hey Auri?.... Thank you.”

-----

Keep reading: Next

[whereflowersbloom]

Alfred’s farewell

The sky had begun gloomy since even before the sun had the chance to rise. Mist was overshadowing the city of Gotham, and drops of dew are still littering every surface. The birds were unusually quiet, nestling safely under the warmth of their nest. A large group of grey clouds lingering above the place, promising unpleasant weather to deal with later on. Lighting crackled in the grey sky and snatched away any hope of a golden day. Only songs of sadness spread around, feeling the sorrow taking place. Even the world is holding its breath and everything is still, the earth seemed to be mourning as well the unexpected loss. The atmosphere was exceptionally dark and lifeless, each face filled with silent and bitter grief and regret. Tears do not fall, there’s a blackhole forming in place of his heart. This date…this date would be burned into his soul for the rest of his existence, it would be a permanent reminder to himself of how foolish he was, how everything…could change in matter of seconds. Seconds only a few more seconds would have made the difference. The tree that was once full of life, the one Alfred looked after kindly, because he planted it himself after coming to work for Thomas and Martha Wayne, was now barren as the weather grew colder and the icy wind blew the leaves away.

There’s people gathering, familiar faces and unknown ones. The solemn mode had settled between them, and soon the ceremony comes to an end. It’s time to say farewell.

Will I always, from now on, be this cold? Was Pennyworth really gone? He didn’t dare to pronounce his name. He discerned the sounds of footsteps slowly fading away and all that was heard afterwards was the thud of knees hitting the ground. Grayson. Even Dick was so lost and crushed, the man who always looked so high-spirited and brave, so even-tempered and filled with honor, seemed so weak now.

“Alfred, I am so sorry…” Richard whispered with a low-pitched and desperate sob as he caressed the stone with his trembling hand. His face, marred for life, had an even more painful expression plastered on his face as tears started to fall slowly onto the dirt. But it’s not your fault. Damian wanted to let him know. He wasn’t there to stop it. Unlike you his mind whispered.

Jason Todd remained silent. Todd had always been quick to emotion in general, to tears when someone else was sad, to contagious laughter when their siblings were smiling, quick-tempered, choleric when provoked. Surprisingly an empathetic sensitive soul, spent many years alone, hungry for tenderness and familial ties. And yet he was wearing an expressionless mask, but his body betrayed his affliction, shaking so badly that Tim had to grasp tightly at his arms to prevent him from going down. Drake. Tim was clearly having so much invisible burden on his shoulders. His curved jaw clenching tight, and his dark blue eyes cast downwards and unblinking. He didn’t have his daily cup of black coffee. No, he didn’t have a single drop of his precious caffeine today. He kept his head low the entire ceremony, maybe he didn’t have the heart to look up at the crying mess everyone was. Perhaps he thought somebody had to tough it out, specially considering Father’s absence.

Stephanie standing close to him, blonde curls dancing with the autumn wind, biting her lips the entire time. Stephanie who tried to be strong and now, after holding in for too long, the tears break out like a leaking dam. She was devastated and weeped openly, clinging to Tim’s coat as if her life depended on it, as if she were drowning, the sight made the hole in Damian’s chest squeeze around his heart. Guilt. Distress.

Cassandra was hardly moving from her spot. She had a deep crease on her brow, and face as hard as rock. She hugged herself in the arms, shielding her frame from the icy wind, when Duke swiftly placed his Armani cashmere coat on her shoulders, her hands were going cold, and the moment Duke noticed the way she shivers with small movements. He considerately held them between his, providing temporary warmth, trying to find some kind of comfort in each other, but Cassandra avoided making eye contact with anyone, her mind was really blank as a void. Possibly still attempting to process the reality. Duke Thomas, the only one that hasn’t lost his mind amid this consequent emotional instability, drops of tears still hanging from the corner of his eyes, while the rests were slowly drying on his cheeks. Damian wasn’t exactly close to Duke but he wondered how he managed to carry on. Where did he find the strength to persist? Damian walked closer to the tombstone, feeling resignation seep into his bones.

Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth, beloved father, grandfather, mentor, friend, heroic veteran, a talented cook, a man of family, with a great big heart. Alfred Pennyworth had been a man with many facets. He brought balance to this dysfunctional family, he was the peace and voice of reason. Alfred who made Dick stay in bed when he was badly injured and encouraged him to eat proper meals, lectured Jason for his vulgar language, introduced Jason into the culinary arts, trusting him with the top secret Pennyworth recipes, who secretly switched Tim’s coffee for decaffeinated when he had too much, who prepared Stephanie waffles after a night out patrolling, didn’t say a word of the nights she sneaked out with Kara, who enjoyed the company of Cassandra lurking around the manor, when she’s having a bad day he used to watch the stars with her, listening to Cass make up stories about each star, Alfred who never had to fix anything Duke broke because Thomas instantly apologized and offered to fix it himself, Alfred that found intriguing sudden Duke’s interest in gardening. Alfred... who who spend each and every Damian’s birthdays with him ‘every birthday is special and must be celebrated Master Damian’, gifted him a cat because it made him think of him, offered him a cup of hot chocolate or tea sleepless nights. Alfred, who told him he was proud of him. Alfred, who raised him and loved him wholeheartedly until his last breath.

Damian ran his hand down a large polished stone, ‘Wayne’ carved into it expertly. He sighed wearily and stood beside a gravestone, right next to the family stone, he absentmindedly ran his fingertips along the engraved letters.

‘Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth’

August 16, 1943

-

October 10, 2019

‘The light of our household is gone. Leaving only haunting echoes lingering in this home. A place is vacant in our hearts, which will never be filled.’

It was indeed fitting. Their light was Alfred and he was gone for good. For good the words echoed in his head like an incessant prayer. He felt a pang of pain surge through him as he recalled his last moments with the man who raised him. It felt as if his life was torn apart just yesterday.

‘I miss him already.’ Cassandra gestured in sign language, a single tear rolling down her cheeks. Damian didn’t know if she was saying it to him or his siblings, maybe she just wished to get the weight off her chest, when he didn’t think it could, his heart broke even more.

“Fuck.” Jason swore with pained voice, his turquoise eyes blurring with angry tears that he wiped away roughly. Not particularly at his siblings but himself. For not being able to protect the man who offered a ray of kindness to him, who nurtured his severely malnourished body to health. He didn’t blame Bruce or the others. He was supposed to be better, strong enough to defend his father. Dick was a fucking mess in the dirt,embracing the tombstone with all his strength, like it would somehow bring the dead man back to life. Steph wouldn’t stop crying. Tim was silently punishing himself in his own way, and Cass had been in a mental limbo until a a minute ago. Bruce wouldn’t leave his room for Pete’s sake. He isolated himself from everything and everyone, he simply existed in his bedroom. Not surprised. He should be here, saying goodbye to Alfred, who dedicate his entire life to help him, instead of retreating to a dark room and lying in bed, brooding over his problems. Damian. Damian was so young, he looked like hell, devastated as everyone else. Jason could detect the shadow of regret in his green eyes. He’s seen it before because he experienced it and he saw it every day in Bruce’s eyes. But at least Damian was here, dealing with the crude reality and his anguish.

It felt unreal, like this was only a horrible slow-motion nightmare and they would wake up any minute, a sharp knife that bore a hole through their hearts yet they kept on standing still.

Perhaps it was time to fulfill Alfred’s wishes. He wanted Bruce to set his thirst for justice aside and find happiness, maybe a companion, spend quality time with the children, who clearly weren’t children anymore. The youngest being Damian, who just turned fifteen a couple of months ago. He wanted Richard to start a family of his own with Barbara. He wanted Jason to come back home and stop fighting with a Bruce. He wanted a Tim to seek professional help, see a counselor, quit drinking that damned coffee in excess. Stephanie to stop denying her feelings for Tim and give their relationship a chance. Cassandra constantly suppressing her emotions, fearing to get attached, she was human not a machine trained to commit murder when ordered. Duke should leave behind any doubts to forge his own path and accept he was loved by their family. Damian who Alfred loved like his own grandchild, no matter what he did or what type of person he decided to become, Alfred would always be proud of Damian. ‘In the end, you makes you. No one else, Master Damian.’

“How are you holding up, shortstack?” Jason asked him unexpectedly, snapping out of it, he didn’t know how long his mind had been replaying fond memories with Alfred, he felt the weight of Jason’s hand falling on his shoulder, wearing a genuinely concerned expression.

A cold wind passed by, gracing the leaves and making some brief sounds. The wind leaving with a trail in the form of chilly, close to freezing air. Damian weighted the question in his head. There was only ever-growing emptiness in his chest. After a long moment he spoke.

“I will live.” Damian answered softly, eyes completely fixed on the stone. “I’ll miss him, too...brother.” The young Robin unreservedly confessed, Jason looked slightly taken aback at the words Damian muttered. Damian’s emotions were expressed with snarky comments, throwing daggers and knives, making deadly threats and intimidating stares. He had an aggressive and confrontational demeanor. Damian has never called Jason brother, but it made his lips curl into a small smile. Yes, he was his brother.

Damian was vaguely aware of Jason’s body heat now at his side, followed by Richard who was helped by Tim to stand up, his chest sore from sobbing, black suit covered in dirt but he didn’t seem to care. Meaningless material assets, nothing compared to the irreparable loss they suffered hours ago. Steph took a couple of steps closer to them, her eyes, twins pools of sadness, red and swollen, soon the Wayne siblings gathered around their youngest brother. Embracing tightly the teenager into a group hug.

They shared the same deep numbing pain, but it's more agonizing for Damian because he had been there when it happened, they all knew Damian was suffering so much. The feeling ate him inside, consuming and breaking every part of him miserably. But he isn’t alone anymore, he has his family with him. Damian’s tears are hot and travel down his tanned cheeks, he didn’t want to cry but he couldn’t hold it in any longer, the heartache, the loss, agony, guilt, everything was hitting him all at once. It hurt so much knowing full well that Alfred won't wake up ever again from this neverending deep sleep, buried under the ground lonely and cold and breathless. His grandfather.

It'll be just the the eight of them and it is frightening to accept the truth, that Alfred wouldn’t be around anymore to look after them like he did after all these years. Ever since he first set foot in the Wayne manor. He would me missed every single day. Rchard’s heart broke at the sight of Damian in such crumbling state, his characteristic composure fallen and so alien after living together so many years. Damian was broken too. Dick did the only thing he could think of, patted him affectionately on the back, rubbing it soothingly, mumbling quietly “We are here, Dami.” Letting him know they were all there for him in every possible way. They would try to carry our Alfred’s last wish, for them to get along, integrate, be an harmonious family. Be true siblings. Always Alfred’s children. Together they sang farewell to Alfred with broken chords.

I am not sure if I want to edit this later but here s the progress. I might add Bruce’s part later or tomorrow. My tribute to Alfred 💜❤️❤️❤️

@sofiii @chromium7sky @deep-in-mind67

[blkmxrvel]

Haven’t Forgotten My Way Home (19) - [CONVERTED]

Pairing: Kara Zor-El x Female!Reader

Summary: In the D/s society of National City, men and women abandoned by their Dom/mes or otherwise deemed unfit for life “outside” end up at the Mount Overland House for Orphaned Submissives. It is here that Kara Zor-El finds Y/N Hastings, broken and fearful from mistreatment at the hands of her former Dom. Can Kara coax Y/N back into the world that once so terrified her, and show her the true meaning of care and submission?

Warnings: Domestic Violence (Flashbacks, Mentions and Descriptions), Misogyny, Domination/Submission.

It seemed that she had spent the last three hours pacing her living room floor. Every now and then Kara would stop and squint downward, to see if she had worn a path in the carpet. And then she would glance at the door. Finally, she’d start pacing again. It had been the same routine since eight that morning. Her mind hadn’t rested since two twenty three.

Since she’d called Y/N.

“A-are you all right? Do you n-need anything?”

“Yes. Yes, Y/N, I do need something.”

“You’re not hurt, are you? Sick?”

“I need you to come see me. So we can talk. About everything. Can you do that for me, Y/N?”

“Okay, Kara.”

“Come to my house at eleven tomorrow morning? Not a moment later or earlier.”

“Yes.”

It wasn’t too late to back out, Kara thought. It was only 10:50, she still had ten minutes to come to her senses and put an end to all of this. It would be so easy just to tell Y/N that she was sorry things had turned out the way they had, and that she wished Y/N luck with finding a Dominant worthy of her.

But damn if Lena’s words kept replaying themselves in Kara’s head, over and over like a prayer.

Kara, you’re more than good enough.

And Kara kept seeing Y/N’s face, hurt and lost as it had been that day three days ago when Kara had buttoned up her coat and adjusted the collar, then sent her out into the rain. Away from her, away from them. She thought of herself, how big and lonely the house felt once again, even with Theo sticking close to her side because he was remarkably good at sensing her sadness. Kara thought of Y/N, of kissing her and holding her close, of wanting to see those Y/E/C eyes looking at her with love and trust.

And even before she heard the soft knock on the door ten minutes later, Kara knew there would be no way she’d back out.

Still, her hand trembled on the knob as she pulled open the door. But if Kara was nervous, Y/N was even more so, as she couldn’t even bring her eyes up to meet Kara’s. But she finally did look at her after a long minute, her gaze searching and unsure. Kara smiled, and slipped her hand down to grasp Y/N’s, locking their fingers together.

“You’re not wearing a coat,” she said softly, pulling the girl inside and closing the door behind them, locking it. “It’s cold out; I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I forgot,” Y/N said with a shrug. “I’ve kind of been anxious all morning? So I guess I just didn’t think about it.”

“You too, huh?” Kara’s smile didn’t waver; she willed it to be more reassuring, wanting Y/N to lose that uncertain expression, because it hurt. Seeing Y/N wary of being with her made something twist in Kara’s gut and she’d do anything to be rid of it.

“Come on, why don’t you sit down, I’ll make us a drink. Hot chocolate?”

Y/N sat and giggled a little as Theo immediately pounced on her with licks. “Hot chocolate sounds really nice,” she said, giving Kara a genuine smile, and Kara’s heart fluttered.

She made the hot chocolate quickly, listening as Y/N baby-talked Theo in the living room, and her hands shook less as she carried the two mugs back and handed one to Y/N. “Down, you big oaf,” Kara said, gently pushing Theo to the floor. “I want Y/N time too, I’ve missed it.”

The mug paused halfway to Y/N’s mouth. “You have?”

“I have,” Kara nodded. “It would be an understatement to say that I have grown rather fond of you, but other words seem to fail in describing my current emotional state.”

“You could try using less of them?” Y/N rolled her eyes, one corner of her mouth turning up a little as she took a sip of the hot chocolate.

Apparently Lena had been right; Kara really had met her match. It made her giddy, the thought of it, even as she pouted only slightly at the mild insult; but one look at the sparkle that had suddenly returned to Y/N’s eyes and Kara realized it was going to be easy to fall fast and hard for this brat.

“I’ve missed you,” she said honestly. She took a long drink of the hot chocolate, trying to use the heat of the liquid to muster up enough strength to say what she needed to. But Y/N stopped her before the words even came.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out, sounding on the edge of tears. “I’m sorry I was so disrespectful, I’m sorry I tried to push you, I’m sorry I was so awful, I—“

“Y/N, stop.”

This was not how she wanted this to go. The time for apologies would come soon enough, from Y/N at least, but the time wasn’t right then. Kara set her mug down on the coffee table and shifted on the couch so that she was sitting facing Y/N. Y/N was looking at her, almost frightened, a few stray tears trickling down her cheeks. Kara flexed her fingers, then reached up and brushed the tears away with her thumbs.

“I’m scared.”

And there it was, the two hardest words Kara Zor-el would ever say in her life. Even harder than “I’m sorry,” because she’d gotten quite a lot of practice – and baking experience – out of those. They were words that she’d always felt she wasn’t allowed to admit, even though that had been the first thing Lena had stressed to her – that if you didn’t admit you were scared, you could never learn to be strong.

And the other thing Lena had taught her: If you’re not strong when she needs you to be, your relationship will never work.

“Of what?” Y/N asked, sounding surprised and more than a little confused.

“Of everything?” Kara shrugged. “Mostly…” She toyed with her hands in her lap, and then glanced up when Y/N grasped her hands in hers. “Mostly of never getting to New York. And mostly… of this. Us. What if I mess everything up between us?”

“I’ve already messed things up between us.”

“No.” Kara shook her head. “No, you haven’t. I should have talked to you, I should have told you everything I was feeling and instead I… shut you down.” She’d have to tell Lena she was right. Again. Damn it.

“I’ve thought about New York every day since I was four. Then I turned eighteen and well, you know. I am incredibly used to doing my job and not thinking about how much I wish I was on stage. Then this Y/H/C haired Y/E/C eyed brat walked – well, rolled—“

“Hey!”

“—walked into my life, and now look at me.” Kara shrugged. “You’ve made me want everything just that much more, you’ve made me want you more than anything, and I am terrified of messing everything up and ending up with nothing.”

“Or…” Y/N spoke softly, haltingly, her gaze never leaving Kara’s. “You could stop looking at it as you doing it all. Maybe it’s… you and me against the world, Kara, like two awkward superheroes who only win the battle if they’re together. If we have each other, maybe we’ll end up with everything.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a dork?” Kara sniffed, not realizing she’d been crying until she reached up a hand to wipe at her eyes. “I mean, you’re adorable, but you really are quite a dork.”

“Just you, Kara.”

“Well, I’ll be quite happy to be the only one.”

“So does this mean…” Y/N trailed off, and Kara’s heart melted, seeing the hope written all over the girl’s face.

She took a deep breath. “I need you to choose a word. Or a phrase. Something that you would never find yourself using in every day conversation.”

It was now or never. Stay or jump. Sink or swim. Fall… or fly.

“I don’t understand,” Y/N said, brow furrowed in confusion.

“Just a word or a phrase, sweetheart. But I need to know what it is.”

“Um… Barbra?”

Kara blinked. “You are not using The Streisand as a safe word, Y/N Hastings.”

Y/N gaped. “S-safe word?”

Jump. Swim. Fly.

Kara nodded. “There are so many things we have to work out,” she admitted, “And I’m not going to use this dynamic with you anywhere but in my home. This means in public, or when you’re alone at Nia’s or out with friends, you make your own decisions and you don’t answer to me.”

“But—“

“No, Y/N. That’s the way this is going to work.” Kara turned one of her hands over and squeezed Y/N’s. “You still have a lot of healing to do, and… so do I. There’s a big world out there waiting for you, and I want you to discover it all. But I-I want this with you so much, and if you still do then… maybe we can try.”

She let her words rest there, as if she had put all of her cards out on the table and was now waiting for Y/N to fold. There was silence, nothing but the quietness of Theo snoring over on his mat in the corner, and Kara felt herself begin to panic. Maybe this had been a bad idea. Maybe Y/N didn’t want this after all and had only come over to tell her so. Maybe Y/N would leave in a huff and they’d never see each other ag—

“Supergirl.”

Kara blinked. “Supergirl?”

“For my safe word. Supergirl.”

“Supergirl,” Kara repeated dumbly, watching as the corners of Y/N’s mouth quirked upward into an amused smile.

“That is what I said. Supergirl.”

“You do realize I’ll never be able to see any DC production the same way again, now?”

“Yep.”

“… brat.”

“But I’m your brat, Miss Kara.”

She gave out something that sounded between a half-laugh and a half-sob; those two words had never sounded more like the most beautiful music in the world to her ears. Miss Kara. She hadn’t even realized how much she’d missed them. How much she’d missed her. And now Y/N was looking at Kara with a mixture of apprehension and contentment, and Kara moved quickly to hug her, to press her lips against the other girl’s. She’d have been happy to kiss for hours, to hold Y/N in her arms for the rest of the afternoon as they just kissed, softly and gently, but then Y/N pulled away with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Y/N?” Kara fought down the panic, the fear that Y/N was already changing her mind.

“I was so rude to you…”

“What? No you weren’t,” Kara said, confused.

“Yes, I was,” Y/N insisted. “When I left… what I said to you, I was so disrespectful, Miss Kara.”

“Oh, that,” Kara said, feeling relieved. “Y/N, we were both incredibly stressed out. It’s all right, really.”

Y/N shook her head. “It’s not all right to me. I haven’t been able to stop t-thinking about it. You’re so good to me, and I treated you that way… it’s not all right.”

Kara thought she already knew the answer, but she asked anyway. “What would make it all right, Y/N?”

She looked away. “You know what would.”

“I want you to tell me.”

“If you punished me.” Y/N’s voice was small, taking on a tone that Kara had never heard before, and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t send a pleasurable thrill over her skin.

“Are you sure?” Kara pressed, wanting to give Y/N every available out she possibly could. Once they did this, there would be no turning back. There would be no chance for Kara to stop herself from doing anything that could potentially hurt someone who was slowly becoming one of the most important things in her life.

She focused on Y/N, looking for any signs of discomfort as the girl bit her lip, but then Y/N took a deep breath, drawing herself up, and nodding.

“I’m sure, Miss Kara.”

Kara nodded herself. “What’s your safe word?” she asked.

This time, there was no trace of amusement in Y/N as she responded, “Supergirl.”

“Good.” Kara thought for a moment. “Go to my room. There is a bandana sitting on top of my desk. I want you to get it and bring it back to me.”

The change in Y/N was immediate as she stood. Kara had never seen the girl fall into herself so easily, had never seen her eyes so steady and her steps as purposeful as she said “Yes, Miss Kara,” and walked to her bedroom.

In seconds – seconds that seemed to take too long – Y/N was back, the argyle bandana fisted lightly in her hand. She held it out to Kara, but didn’t sit down when Kara took it.

Kara laid the bandana next to her on the couch, and then paused. Knowing that Y/N was watching her every move, Kara grabbed a pillow from the couch and sat it on the floor at her feet. She looked up at Y/N.

“Will you kneel for me, Y/N?”

There it was, the last out. A request, not a demand. The chance for Y/N to leave, for her to establish a clear boundary between herself and Kara. By the quiet inflection at the end of the question, Kara was telling Y/N that it was okay for her to decide, it was okay for her to make the choice that what they were doing wasn’t right for her.

Y/N met Kara’s eyes with her own, and slipped wordlessly to her knees on the pillow. She trembled, her head ducking and her hands moving to grasp her wrists behind her back.

Kara stood up, bracing herself momentarily on the arm of the couch, because her own legs were shaking so that she could hardly stand. She stayed next to Y/N for a moment, looking down at her, studying her form, before shaking her head. Reaching down, she gently untangled Y/N’s hands from themselves and brought them to the front, resting them palm-up atop the blue fabric of her dress over her knees. Y/N’s fists were clenched and Kara slowly, carefully unclenched them, leaving the girl’s hands open. Offering. She cupped Y/N’s chin in her hand and lifted her face so that Y/N was looking at her.

“Head and eyes up,” she said softly.

“Yes, Miss Kara. I’m sor—“

“Shh.” Kara touched Y/N’s lips with her index finger. “You’re doing just fine, Y/N. It’s all right.”

She stepped back a little to study Y/N again, and caught the flicker of insecurity that touched Y/N’s face. Kara smiled and reached to run a steady hand through Y/N’s hair.

“You,” she said, pronouncing each word firmly and carefully, “are so beautiful, little one.”

“Thank you, Miss Kara.”

The flush of Y/N’s ears to a deep pink told Kara that she had said the right thing. She stood there for another minute, lovingly stroking Y/N’s hair, before sitting back on the couch in front of her.

“Hands on my knees, Y/N, and look at me.”

“Yes, Miss Kara.”

Immediately Y/N did as she was told, looking at Kara with eyes that were wide and trusting, and Kara felt as if her heart was being shattered into a million pieces and being rebuilt even stronger, all at the same time, over and over again. She wanted to cry, to fold Y/N into her arms and hold her, but there would be time enough for that. She had to focus on Y/N’s needs, now; her own could come later.

“Limits?”

“Miss Kara?”

“What are your limits?” There’d be time to work on a comprehensive list later on, but Kara needed to know immediate ones.

“D-don’t hit me,” Y/N said, her voice faltering a little.

“I will never,” Kara said quietly. “You can trust me on that, Y/N.”

“All right.” Y/N took a breath and her hands tightened briefly around Kara’s knees. “All right.”

Kara leaned down and softly kissed Y/N’s forehead. “Do you know why you’re being punished, little one?”

“Because I was disrespectful to you the last time we spoke, Miss Kara.”

“That’s right,” Kara said. She looked into Y/N’s eyes. “Do you know why that hurts me?”

The look of shame was instantaneous, as were the tears that began to fall. Kara’s immediate instinct was to stop everything and pull the girl into her lap, but she struggled against it. Y/N needed this, needed Kara to establish her command, and everything they did from this point on would be for naught, if Kara didn’t take control.

“I—“

“Hush.” Y/N went silent immediately, her gaze darting to Kara’s hands as she picked up the argyle bandana and began to fold it. “Open.” When Y/N hesitated, Kara said, more firmly, “Open your mouth, Y/N, now.”

Y/N did as she was told and in seconds she was gagged, the bandana tied lightly but securely around her head. Her hands trembled violently on Kara’s knees, and Kara settled her own on top of Y/N’s.

“If you need to safe word, you will put your right hand on top of your head, is that understood?”

Y/N nodded.

“For years he took away your voice,” Kara said quietly. “He took away your right to speak your needs, your desires, and your fears. Everything. And when I came to visit you at the House, what did I want? For you to talk to me. I came every day, just because I wanted to hear you talk.” Kara leaned forward, saying evenly, “I will not tolerate disrespect, Y/N Hastings. When you speak to me it will be without attitude. I have not worked so hard to hear you speak, I don’t love your voice so much just to have you talk to me the way you did. Remember what it’s like not to have a voice, Y/N, and adjust yourself accordingly once this gag is removed.”

Y/N was crying fully now, the tears coursing down her cheeks and wetting the gag; Kara blinked back her own tears as she stood up, feeling Y/N’s hands slip from her knees. “Come with me,” she said, but stopped when Y/N moved as if to crawl behind her. “No,” she said, gentling her tone and leaning down to grasp Y/N’s hand.

“Stand up and walk, Y/N.” She picked up the pillow on the floor in her other hand, and led Y/N over to a far corner in the living room. She sat the pillow down, and pointed.

“On your knees, Y/N.”

Once again it was effortless, and Kara gently pressed her hand to the back of Y/N’s head, guiding her nose to the wall.

“I want you to stay there and think about your attitude, and how you can better express your emotions when you are under duress.”

She moved to walk away but was stopped by hands gripping at her waist, at Y/N shaking her head, garbled sounds coming from around the gag and her eyes wide with fear. Gagged or not, Kara understood what she was saying.

Don’t leave me.

Slowly she pulled Y/N’s hands away from her and once again guided the girl to the wall. She kept one hand on Y/N’s shoulder.

“If you want to safe word,” Kara said, “You know how to do it.”

She waited, but Y/N’s hands didn’t move from her sides. Kara could feel Y/N shake as she cried, and her heart ached. None of her classes had really prepared her for what it would be like to punish a submissive, and all she really knew about it she’d learned as a sub, with Lena. She knew she had to be strong, unyielding if there hadn’t been a safe word, and most importantly, she had to be there.

“I’m right here, little one,” Kara said tenderly. “You’re okay. Just stay there and think about things, okay?”

She felt Y/N go limp, felt her slump against the wall, and she smiled a little. She waited thirty seconds, and then dropped her hand from Y/N’s shoulder. She moved back, just a few steps, watching as the tension rose in Y/N’s body.

“I’m right here,” Kara said again, and again Y/N went limp, even as she was still crying.

She was beautiful, Kara thought. So breathtakingly beautiful, knelt in the corner with her blue dress bunched up around her knees and her slim, delicate hands once again slipping behind her back. Her eyes were closed, her lips tight against the gag in her mouth, Y/H/C hair almost melding with the white fabric of the cardigan she was wearing over her dress.

She looked, Kara thought, like an angel.

Moving back again, she sat on the coffee table, her eyes trained on Y/N. She watched as the girl grew a little restless, watched as Y/N dared to sneak a look over her shoulder. Kara raised an eyebrow when Y/N saw she’d been caught leaving position and she snapped back around to the corner, a flush rising at the base of her neck. Kara fought off a giggle.

“I’m right here,” she said once more.

After a few more minutes, Y/N had stopped crying, and all the tension had left her body. She was leaning against the corner now, relaxed, her breathing coming deep and shallow and for a moment Kara wondered if the girl had fallen asleep.

“Y/N,” she called softly, and the girl lifted her head. No, she hadn’t been asleep. “Come here, Y/N. Bring the pillow with you.” Kara didn’t wait to see if Y/N obeyed her; she knew she would, and so she got up from the coffee table and went back to the couch. By the time she had sat down, the pillow was on the floor and Y/N was kneeling in front of her.

Kara reached up and quickly untied the gag, pulling it from Y/N’s mouth. Y/N licked her lips but said nothing, staring at Kara. Waiting for instruction.

“Do you have anything you wish to say to me?”

“Yes, Miss Kara,” Y/N said. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I was disrespectful to you.”

Kara nodded. “And will it happen again?”

“No,” Y/N declared. “Never.”

Kara just barely managed not to roll her eyes; of course it would happen again. It was one of those things that would always happen, she knew. But that was all right. They’d deal with it. In the meantime, Y/N was still staring at her, waiting, expectant, and Kara leaned down, wrapped her arms around Y/N, and kissed her.

“Good girl,” she murmured against Y/N’s lips. “That’s my good girl.”

Y/N’s arms came to wrap around Kara’s neck, clinging tightly as she pressed her face into Kara’s skin, once again crying softly. Kara tugged until Y/N came off her knees and climbed onto the couch, settling herself into Kara’s lap. She rubbed Y/N’s back, stroked her hair, once again saying those words, over and over.

“Good girl, Y/N. Good girl.”

And then Kara was pressed back into the couch with the force of Y/N’s sobs, loud and anguished, and she had the sudden realization that something had just broken. It wasn’t the punishment, it wasn’t what they were doing, it was Y/N feeling, lost in the fact that no one had ever held her after a punishment before. Kara suddenly knew that Y/N was lost in memories of the past, of other punishments, and that something had awakened in her and now Y/N was… She was grieving. Grieving for the past, what she had thought her future would be, the child that was and the woman that was only now allowed to be.

Kara kept her arms strong and firm around Y/N, remembering herself just after her first punishment with Lena, how Lena had held her close, whispering reassurances in her ear. But Lena had never dealt with this; Kara had never been broken. And now Kara felt helpless, powerless to stave off the sobs that wracked Y/N’s body in wails and hitched breaths, and as she kept stroking her hair and trying to whisper words of comfort, Kara finally reached for the one thing she knew better than breathing.

“There were bells on the hill, but I never heard them ringing,” Kara sang quietly, pressing her lips close to Y/N’s ear. “No I never heard them at all, till there was you… “ She began to rock Y/N, smiling a little when Theo leapt up onto the couch and laid his head on Y/N’s leg, looking at Kara mournfully. She’d have to give him a treat later.

“There were birds in the sky, but I never saw them winging, no, I never saw them at all, till there was you…”

Her voice was stronger now, clear, as if she wasn’t singing in her house but on a stage in New York, to an audience of one. And Y/N was calming, her hands fisted in Kara’s shirt, her cries gradually subsiding as she listened.

“And there was music, and there were wonderful roses, they tell me, in sweet fragrant meadows of dawn and dew…”

Y/N had lifted her face now, hiccupping quietly, but she was smiling, and Kara gently brushed the tears away with her fingertips, kissing her. She held Y/N’s face in her hands, smiling at her as she sang the last lines.

“There was love all around, but I never heard it singing. No, I never heard it at all, till there was you…”

She touched Y/N’s lips with hers in a soft kiss before pulling the girl’s head back down to her shoulder. Never mind that it was probably too soon to say the word love. Never mind that she still wasn’t sure what they were doing was the right thing. Never mind that there was still so much for them to talk about, rules to establish and limits to set. Never mind that she had no clue how she was going to dominate Y/N only in her own home, but not in public or anywhere else. Never mind that she felt her stomach growl and she remembered she hadn’t eaten breakfast, because Y/N felt it too and was giggling against Kara’s neck, and all Kara could do was hug her tighter.

She’d once thought she’d forgotten how to sing.

Now there was Y/N.

[martialstories]

Tape to tape - chap. 1

Coops - High School AU

All credits for the world & the characters for @lumosinlove. (I’d also like to thank the list of 100 most popular baby names in Canada in 2019 and Most Common Last Names In Canada for helping me figure out names for side characters.)

I did some more research and found out that hich school in Montreal actually lasts only 3 years instead of 4. For the sake of my sanity, we are just going to ignore it since I have no idea how to work with that time frame.

With this chapter we jump backwards in time to see what the beginning of high school was like for Sirius.

PSA. The texts in cursive are inner dialogue. ;)

Enjoy!

(ps. Hazel, absolutely loved the new chapter but hated the cliffhanger. Please post the next one.)

_______________________________________________________________________

Sirius admitted that he was nervous. It was the first day of high school. He didn’t really stress about school since hockey was the only thing that mattered in his family. But he didn’t like things changing. And this was a big change.

You’d think that school wasn’t important for a hockey player. Partly you’d be right. But school was the only thing that made Sirius feel normal. There he wasn’t the hockey prodigy with a name widely recognised already at the age of 15. He wasn’t the family disappointment who had gotten beaten behind closed doors for years. There he was just a regular teen who isn’t the best of the class but passes every exam.

“Have a nice day Sirius!” Linda wished from the driver’s seat. “Try to relax a little. You’re gonna be fine!”

Sirius glanced at her with his face emotionless. “I’ll try. Bye.” He said before getting out of the car.

This was the part he hated. He hated the mask he had to put on every single day. He hated that he wasn’t sure if his little brother would remember who he really was or if he’d only remember this stonefaced teen who could only try to smile when sneaking into each other’s rooms. He wasn’t even sure if he remembered how to smile properly.

He hated this and wanted to get out of here but he knew he was still too young. If he wanted to pursue a career in the NHL he’d have to stay in school for a couple more years and get drafted after he graduated.

”Black! I didn’t know you’d come to our school! Listen up ladies and gents, this man will be the biggest name in the league one day.” Sirius turned towards the side of the main stairs. There he could see sitting around 10 boys and girls all wearing the same school uniform. A dark eyed boy with cornrows was smiling brightly towards him.

”Nice to see you Felix. And don’t jinx it.” Sirius said walking over. Felix raised his hand to ruffle Sirius’s hair but he was fast enough to duck.

”Alright, alright. It’s nice to see you too Little one.” Felix grinned at him cheekily.

Sirius groaned a little. ”Oh don’t start that again. This year there will actually be people my age in the team.”

”Oh I know. But you can’t blame me. You were actually tiny when you started last year. That name was earned.” Felix started explaining to his confused friends. ”Black here was way too good for his own age group so they decided to transfer him to play with us older ones last year. The thing was that this boy hadn’t really hit his puberty like the rest of us so he was about a head or two shorter than the rest of us.” That caused Felix’s friends to laugh. Sirius was shaking his head.

”Where’s your other half Felix? I thought you couldn’t do anything without him.” Felix’s twin brother, Levi, suddenly appeared at their side. The rest of the gang jumped a little but Sirius just ducked instinctively to avoid the hand trying to ruffle his hair.

Levi didn’t even try to act surprised. ”Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Hello, Little one. I still think it’s slightly creepy that no one can surprise you. What do you think Felix?” ”Definitely creepy.” ”As I said.”

Sirius just chuckled lightly and tried to move on as fast as he could. There definitely were reasons to his constant awareness of the things happening around him but he’d never say those reasons out loud. ”Alright boys. I have to head to class. You don’t mind telling me where the French classes are?”

”Yep, you just walk in, take the first stairs you see up to the third floor, turn right and you are in the language corridor. Then just look at the classroom numbers.” Levi guided him.

”Thanks Levi. I’ll see you at practice!” Sirius shouted over his shoulder while walking towards the doors.

Sirius had asked Linda to drop him off a little earlier than usual so he’d have time to find his first class. Bumping into the Wright brothers had cut that extra time down to a couple of minutes. As he walked along the corridor Sirius kept his eyes open in case he’d see any of his relatives that would need to be avoided. He knew that he’d have to face them at some point but the first day wasn’t the right time to do that. The longer he could avoid them the better.

Once Sirius finally reached his French class he could see it was almost full already. The teacher greeted him with a nod and told him to go sit at the back of the class where there were two free seats next to each other.

’Hopefully I am the last one. That way I wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone.’ Sirius thought as he lowered his bag to sit next to the desk. Sirius sat down and glanced around the room to see if he recognized anyone. There were a couple persons he knew from his old school but he didn’t know them enough for them to try to start a conversation with him.

Before he could let out a sigh of relief one last person walked through the door. Sirius watched as he walked towards the teacher who directed him to go sit at the back next to Sirius. As the boy started to walk across the class Sirius got a better look at him. Slightly taller than himself, kinda lanky but his stance was strong. Curly light brown hair, couple of freckles on his cheecks and hazel eyes. A small scar on his nose and he was one of the few people who could make the school uniform look actually good.

’Cute.’ Sirius thought. ’Wait, what? Since when have I thought boys were cute?’ ’Since him. And the cute ice cream vendor that we met during the summer with Reg. But mostly since this one. This one is also hot.’ ’What? No. Shut up.’

The boy had already sat down next to him as he was having that fun little piece of inner dialogue. (’More like the beginning of an existential cris-’ ’Shut up!’) The boy looked at him and offered him a small smile. Sirius just nodded and turned towards the front.

The teacher introduced herself and went over what to expect from this class. After 15 minutes she told the class to get to know the person sitting next to you as you’d be doing a lot of exersices with them.

Sirius eyes widened a little. ’Shit.’ ’YES! Now we get to know their name!’ ‘I still don’t get what you are talking about.’ Sirius turned towards the boy sitting next to him.

”I guess we are going to be a pair.” The boy said. (’Ah, his voice is like the prettiest dream.’ ’What does that even mean?’)

”Yeah, I guess so.” Sirius answered. (Stop being a jerk, idiot! Go on, introduce yourself.’ ’Shut it.’)

”I’m Remus.” (’Mon dieu! His name is Remus! Merde, I’m going to faint!’ ’Please, I beg you. Do that!’)

”I’m Sirius.”

”Nice to meet you.”

”Nice to meet you as well.”

After that they sat in silence for a few moments until Remus opened his mouth. ”Is French you first language?”

Sirius turned towards him. ”It is.”

”Oh, well in that case I think I should warn you.” Remus chuckled quietly and raised his hand to rub his neck. ”I’m really not that good in French. I just moved here like a week or two ago so I haven’t had the chance to learn. I actually am a year older than you but they put me with the younger class in French since I need to catch up on this subject.”

Sirius raised his eyebrow. ”I see. Where did you move from?”

”From Wisconsin. This city is quite the change from the small town I used to live in.” Remus told him.

”I can believe that. Did you learn any French before moving here?” Sirius asked, starting to get genuinely interested.

”Yes, I decided to take it as an elective subject two years ago but you can’t really learn a language in two years.”

”Well, it’s good that you don’t have to start from nothing.”

”D’accord! That’s enough. Now let’s go through the first chapter.” The teacher interrupted the chatter. Everyone started to focus on the teacher but Sirius was too busy gazing out the window and trying to figure out what he was feeling.

After French Sirius had a math class before lunch. There he found Felix and Levi again and sat with them. He knew it might have looked weird, a first year sitting in a group of third years, but he had no intentions to find new acquaintances. He had met the brothers last year and they were the few people he actually was friends with in the team. While Sirius played center, Felix and Levi were a pair of defencemen. They were also loyal and kind and Sirius liked them. After lunch he had two more classes before it was time for hockey practice.

The rink wasn’t far but Levi offered him a ride since they had to carry their equipment with them. Sirius accepted the offer so after school he climbed into Levi’s car. Once they arrived they got their gear on and headed to the ice.

”Okay, boys! Settle down and gather around! I know it must have been an exciting day but you can spare the talk for home. Today we are going to do warm-ups and then some drills. After those we should play some easy games to figure out the best positions for you.” Coach called from the bench.

Sirius didn’t really like this part of the season. They had started training a few weeks ago already but it was still confusing with the new players. The team dynamic always changed with older players leaving and younger ones coming in. It always took a little while for everyone to find their places.

”Let’s start with sprints, so skate around the rink and every time you reach a blue line sprint to the other one. Questions? Ok. Go!” Coach said and glanced at his watch. The team started to skate around the rink. Some players wanted to focus on the drill like Sirius but others were chatting casually.

Levi and Felix skated up to him. ”Look at the boy coach is talking with. Do you think he is gonna join our team?”

Sirius looked over to the bench but the boy there had already started to walk away from the rink. ”I don’t know. Didn’t see him.”

”Well he had skates on and looked to be around our age.” Levi reasoned.

Just as Sirius was going to answer Coach called them over. ”Good work! Next we are going to move onto the next drill but before that I want to welcome a new player to the team. This is Remus Lupin. He just moved here from Wisconsin, so be nice.”

Sirius froze a little. He watched as Remus came from the tunnel wearing a team jersey. He nodded at Coach and said hi to the team before kicking himself onto the ice. ’Oh this is wonderful.’ ’Stop. Focus!’ Sirius shook himself out of his frozen state as Remus skated over to stand next to him. They exchanged nods with each other and turned towards coach to hear him explain the next drill they were going to do.

For the first half of practice Coach made them do drills. While waiting for his turn Sirius could try and figure Remus out. He could see that Remus definitely knew what he was doing. His movement with the puck looked natural and easy.

At the beginning of the second half Coach gathered them around himself. Then he instructed the ones that played last year to find their old lines. Sirius stayed where he was as two guys skated towards him. Grayson Lee and Fenrir Greyback. Grayson was a smart guy and player and Sirius was glad to have him on his left wing. Greyback on the other hand was completely another story. In Sirius opinion he could have easily been a part of the Black family, with how racist and homophobic he was. Sirius really hoped he wouldn’t have to play another year with him but it seemed like he’d have to. None of the new players seemed good enough to compete with Greyback yet.

After they had gathered there was still about 10 guys left. ”Alright, now let’s see what we have left. Roy, you play left wing right? Go over there. Is here any defencemen? Ok, you can be a pair. Any centers? You can go…” Coach started distributing them into lines. At the end there was one new line created and the rest had been spread around the team. ”Let’s try with this. I’ll change your lines if needed. Black and Ricard, you first.”

Sirius won the first puck and immediately realized how much he had missed playing. During the summer they had had hockey camps and a few practices but it had been mostly other forms of training. He had missed how he could just play and forget about himself for a while.

Coach shouted directions and shift changes from the bench. These matches really didn’t have any winners. It was just to see who played well with who. When Sirius wasn’t playing he was following other players. Really he was just waiting for Remus to get on ice since he was the only one who he hadn’t seen play.

Finally coach shouted for Sirius’s line to get on. At the same time the opposing line was changed with the line Remus was in. ’Well, no we’ll see how he plays.’

The puck was dropped and Sirius won it. He passed it to Felix in defence who passed it back to him. Sirius started to circle opponents when suddenly someone came next to him and stole the puck from him. He turned quickly to see the other player already skating over the centerline. ’Is that Remus?!’

”Black! What are you doing?” Greyback shouted at him from across the ice.

Sirius just ignored him as he raced to get to Remus before he got the goal. Sirius could see Remus looking around him in search for his teammates to pass the puck to and realizing that they were still in their defensive zone.

’He’ll have to try to score by himself.’ Sirius thought. Remus seemed to have come to the same realization as he skirted around the goal. Remus managed to avoid Greyback trying to slam him against the boards and flipped the puck over Plante’s right shoulder. Coach blew his whistle in a mark for a goal and Remus’s teammates, who finally got to him, slammed into him. The bench was standing and thrumming the boards approvingly.

Coach shouted over the noise. ”Alright Lupin! We gotta change this up a bit, it’s clearly not working as it should. It sure is a pity there’s no tape on you as it would make my job a lot easier. Let’s put you with the older ones.” Coach decided to try Remus in Ricard’s line. Sirius’s line jumped over the boards for a break as another one settled to face Ricard’s.

Remus could clearly play better with Ricard’s line but the dynamic still wasn’t the best match. Ricard’s shift consisted of big guys who used their sizes in advantage. Remus on the other hand wasn’t as big but was one of the fastest players Sirius had ever seen. ’I wonder if we’d play well together.’

Ricard’s team scored a goal and it was Sirius’s turn. After they had played for a few minutes Coach whistled. ”Greyback! Switch with Lupin.”

Everyone stopped. It was rather rare that the top line would be altered. Especially with a newcomer.

”But Coach! Lupin hasn-” Greyback tried before Coach cut him off. ”Stop complaining. I want to try this out.” Coach nodded at Remus who was looking between him and Greyback. He jumped onto the ice as Greyback shot him a dirty look.

Remus took his place on the right side of Sirius and the puck dropped.

At the end of practice Sirius had already gotten used to the new dynamic of his line. He actually wondered how he had coped without it. Without Greyback Sirius’s line could simply use their speed and skill in advantage. Greyback was moved to Ricard’s line, where he in Sirius’s opinion fit well. He, after all, was on the bigger side and usually liked to use his size over his skill.

Remus on the other hand had been a complete surprise to Sirius. He didn’t often encounter players who could match his level but Remus was one of them. When Sirius may have been the best in handling the puck and one of the fastest, Remus was definitely the fastest and didn’t leave far behind in puck handling either. He also played well with Lee and Sirius was sure they would be a fatal trio this season.

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Wiping your tears away HCs

Warnings: Fluffy cute shit 

Characters: Suga and Oikawa

Words: 1653 

A/N GUYS I HAD TIME TO WRITE TONIGHT AND THIS IS SO BIG AND CALMING FOR ME LIKE I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I CAN EXPRESS THIS TO ANYONE BECAUSE I HAD BEEN WORKING ON 5 you read that right 5 whole essays for a midterm in one class that I only had a week to write and they were due yesterday so that was hard and took all of my energy but now midterms are over and I don’t have tests this week, I do have a couple appointments though (I’m thrilled to have a dermatologist appointment Tuesday) but sorry for the rant i am just happy and feeling like I am having a good start to my week 

Suga:

“Why am I such a baby” You kept asking yourself over and over as you found yourself sitting in the kitchen crying over...well you aren’t exactly sure what made you cry

It had been a day of tiny inconveniences and burning your food just ended up just causing you to break because it should not be possible to burn food from a bag but somehow you did

You were hungry and tired and now you couldn’t make anything happen right and the easiest thing to do was sit down and cry for a couple of minutes

What you didn’t realize was that in your couple minutes of crying Suga had come home

You heard the door open and immediately started to panic, he did not need to see you on the floor crying next to a pan of burnt food so you toss it in the trash and try to wipe your eyes and smile before he gets in the kitchen but you were too late he already saw you

“Babe??” You hear him practically make this face 🥺 at you and you turn to see him and can’t help but start tearing up again

“Babe” this time Suga whispers at you as he wraps his arms around your shoulders, “what’s wrong baby?” Asks quietly

His voice was so calm and caring that you couldn’t help but let the waterworks begin once again

You tried your hardest to look away from him so that he didn’t see you becoming a complete mess but Suga stopped you before you could turn your head

“Heyyy look at me” he cooed at you, his hands cupping your face as his thumbs came up to wipe your tears away, “tell me what’s wrong lovey and we can work through this together” you let out a big sigh as you try to choke down a little sob

Suga keeps one of his thumbs under your eye, wiping every tear before it falls and lets his other hand go to his cheek and start rubbing your cheek lightly as he calms your racing heart

Taking a deep breathe in he suddenly realizes the cause of your tears, burnt dinner, smiling to himself he pulls you to his chest and gives you a gentle hug as he rubs up and down your back gently as you try and get yourself together

“Didn’t I say it was my night to make dinner?” He smiled into your hair

You look up at him worried he is going to yell at you for wasting food (he would never but when you’re sad you never think through things logically)

“Go put your pajamas on and I’ll start dinner,” he smiles at you

You just stare up at him, unable to process what he has just said as one stray tear slips down your face which Suga promptly wipes off and gives you a little smile, “go on lovey, we can watch Halloweentown once I get this in the oven, okay?’

You give him a tiny smile that reflects right back at you on Suga’s face, he presses a quick kiss to your forehead before grabbing an apron and starting on something else for dinner

Oikawa:

It was one of the biggest of games of Oikawa’s career and you were on the edge of your seat for every play, it was now the third set and the score was 22-20 with Oikawa’s team down

You had been watching him prepare for this match for weeks, overworking himself and pushing as hard as he can in hopes that his team will make it to world championships this year

The amount of times you were accidentally awoken by Oikawa last night made it clear that he didn’t sleep, especially because you caught him watching past matches at approximately 3 am

He was up and out the door by 6 am, in a hurry to get to the court for extra practice because this game got them a straight shot to championships

You got to the arena before the game and as you watched the teams warm up you could feel the tension radiating from everyone, especially Oikawa, he was tense and his attitude sharp with everyone, not because he wanted to be mean but because he was worried and putting a lot of pressure on himself

In the past few weeks Oikawa had worked extraordinary hard on perfecting his jump serve but also adding curves to it and direction changes, you were impressed every time you saw it and never stopped complimenting him but it never seemed impressive enough to make him happy

Sitting there you couldn’t help but squeeze your eyes closed and pray to any god that would listen that this game would turn out in Oikawa’s favor, you needed them to catch up and quick

The ball was flying across the court in minute long volley’s each and you could feel everyone getting tired as the game dragged on

For the most part Oikawa had been absolutely crushing it, only letting up a couple of points but halfway through the second set the coach pulled him out and replaced him with a rookie so he could take a break and that was when things started to go poorly, you could see him on the side losing his mind as the rookie practically handed the second set to the other team and then continued to play until they were down 15-10 in the first set where finally Oikawa was put back in and he was fighting for every point with everything he had, clearly frustrated that he had been taken out for so long just to test someone else in one of the most important games of the season

Your eyes were fixed on Oikawa as he kept trying to take deep breaths as he maneuvered his way across the court, shit, the other team got the ball, and again, it was now 24-21 and you knew that this was about to end poorly

You collected your stuff and turned back to watch as the other team scored the game winning point, your eyes welling up as you saw the look of defeat on Oikawa’s face

You quickly wiped away your tears and tried to look brave as you went to go meet him outside of the locker room

No matter how strong you were trying to be you couldn’t help but start to cry because you felt so bad for him and you knew how hard he had been working

You stayed a little bit further back from the others who were waiting for the team so that no one had to see you crying which would have been fine until Oikawa walked out of the locker room and couldn’t see you over the crowd

Internally he panicked and walked straight past two men who were hounding him for an interview to come find you, you were always there and that was the one thing that was keeping him from crying himself but the moment he pushed past the reporter his heart sank, there you stood, clutching his jacket tightly around you as tears streamed down your face while you tried to force a smile when you made eye contact

Oikawa practically ran over to you and scooped you into his arms, “I’m sorry” you sob into his chest, he had absolutely no idea what you were sorry for and froze up as his mind began to think about the worst

You pulled back from him and sniffled as he looked down at you with genuine concern, “I know how much this meant to you, and how hard you worked and I just, I’m so sorry Tooru, I shouldn’t have kept you-“

His hands cupped your face suddenly as he planted a gentle kiss on the top of your head and wiped the tears from your cheeks, “stop it love” he whispered, “we lost this game but there are more, we will fight harder next time,” he pulled back and let out a little chuckle, “You’re absolutely adorable, you know that?” He teased, “I thought that you were crying because something was wrong, but no, you were crying because of me. Don’t do that lovey, I promise I’ll win the next one for you,” he smiles, but you can see the sadness behind his eyes which causes you to let out a little sob which he quickly soothes away with little words of affection and reassurance that you were loved but also mixed in his teasing that never failed to put a smile back on your face, especially when he told you that you were “only half as cute when you’re crying”

He got called to do an interview about the game so he kissed the top of your head once more as he followed the coach as you watched from the sidelines, he kept smiling over at you on breaks and when you got back to the car you didn’t go straight home, instead you went to the little diner where you met Oikawa for the first time

“Tooru, what’s this?” You asked, finding yourself tearing up again

“I wanted a chicken bacon avocado melt with my girl after a big day,” he said, not looking at you

You found yourself tearing up again, you and Tooru had met a year and a half ago at this exact cafe when you were given his sandwich and he was given yours, you both laughed about it and ended up sitting next to each other and talking for hours, the night you met him he lost another monumental game and said he needed some “comfort food” and tonight you were right back there beside him

“Hey hey hey” he sighed, wiping your tears away and forcing you to look at him, “we’re going to get cheesecake, you can’t cry” he smiles at you

[onlydarylnormanfic]

You’ll Start Again [Teaser]

A/N: Alright. I am finishing up the next BDS piece and working on All of You Part 9. BUT this is one of my own that I have just started that I need to write right now for me. Hilltop. Yes. Healing for me. Yes. I am loving the feel of this so far. Personal piece teaser... Daryl x Reader. S.9/10

-----

You wiped your tears away as you nodded.

“Okay. It’s over,” you said, taking a deep breath as you tried to hold back more tears from falling from your eyes.

Jake looked back over at you and nodded in agreement.

“Alright. I just think it’s the best thing,” he said, looking over at you with hard resolve, not showing an ounce of emotion.

This man you had thought you had known so well. This man you had thought of as your best friend, even before the world went to hell. This man you had loved so damn much was ending it with you.

You gulped and nodded, not sure what else to say, so you stared vacantly ahead of you as a few tears fell from your eyes.

Jake nodded again with understanding and walked over to the entrance of your trailer.

“I’ll come by and pick my things up tomorrow while you’re on duty,” he said matter-of-factly.

He said it as if the past years together had meant little to nothing to him.

You rolled your eyes and nodded, avoiding his eyes for fear that you would breakdown, which was the very last thing you wanted to do in front of him right now.

He looked over at you for a few seconds longer before turning and exiting the trailer you two had shared since you had found the Hilltop a few years ago.

You looked over and watched the door swing shut, bouncing back and forth a few times before finally closing. You got up and walked over to it, looking out of the screen door with sadness as you watched the only man you had ever loved walk away from you.

You took a haggard breath and then looked down at the lock. You brought your hand over and watched your fingers click the lock shut, as if you were watching someone else’s motions. Right now, you felt like all you could feel was the heartache running through every part of you. And your mind was racing with questions about how it had all went so wrong. When? Where? How? Why?

You were an exhausted mess. The two of you had spent the last few hours yelling, crying, and arguing with each other over all the things you two had to say that you had pent up over the years. And then it happened. He told you what you had been dreading to hear him say for a while now.

He was in love with someone else.

Her name was Lena and she worked with him on security detail. She was everything you weren’t. She was tough and resilient. She could hold her own with any walker or human. And you were just you. You worked here as a school teacher for the children. And truth be told you didn’t think you could protect yourself or anyone else from any sort of threat.

You shut the other door and locked it, walking over to your bed and flopping exhaustedly onto it. You looked up at the ceiling as you thought about what a failure you really had become in this new world. Not that you had asked for the world to go to hell. But it had. And all you could do was teach the kids how to do their arithmetic and write.

You got lost in your own minds for hours, too sad to sleep, yet too tired to move. A few hours later, you heard a dog barking and the sound of a motorcycle revving into the town.

You forced yourself off of the bed and looked out of your window. You watched as Daryl sped over to the barn with Dog in tow. You watched the strong man stop the bike, put down the kickstand, and swing his body over and off of it with ease.

He shook the hair out of his eyes and looked dutifully around the place, looking like he was making sure the town as at peace as it should be. When he was sure things were good and quiet, he patted the side of his leg, beckoning Dog to follow him up into the barn’s hayloft for the night.

You smiled, breathing a sigh of relief now knowing that one of the best protectors of this community and the rest was sleeping here tonight. It set you at more ease.

You walked back over to your bed and slumped down onto it, running your hands through your hair as you tried to assure yourself that you would be alright. You forced yourself to blow out the candles by your nightstand and settle into your bed and under the covers. You laid your head down onto your pillow, looking sadly over at the spot next to you where Jake used to sleep, not that he had been sleeping there much lately anyway anymore.

This was your new normal. A life alone. You tossed and turned as you tried to fall asleep, thinking only of everything you two had been through and how horrible it had been for you two together lately. Maybe this was all for the best. Still, you didn’t know how you were going to survive this life alone.

Your mind then wandered back to Daryl. He had done it. For a long time now. Even after Rick.

If he could do it, maybe you could too.

You turned to your side and snuggled into your blankets looking up at the window next to your bed with determined wonder. Maybe he could show you how to do just that, survive without Jake. You forced your eyes shut, telling yourself you should get some sleep before tomorrow.

Tomorrow you planned to approach the protector Daryl and ask him to teach you how to survive on your own.

You finally fell asleep into the wee hours of the early morning and awoke a few hours later to the sounds of everyone in the town getting to work for the day.

You squinted your eyes and looked up at the sun shining through your window with distain. You stretched, trying to awaken your tired body.

You then heard a knock on the door.

“Ms. Y/N! Ms. Y/N!” you could hear a few of the children call, tapping on the metallic door as they beckoned you.

You Forced yourself out of bed and walked over to the door, trying to fix your hair and face before you opened it.

You took a deep breath and opened your door, forcing a happy smile to your lips.

It was three of the children from class, Johnny, Lacy, and Margret. They were looking up at you with excitement in their eyes and happy smiles now that you had opened your door.

“It’s time for class, Ms. Y/N!” Margret said with excitement as she gripped onto her notepad and pencil, bouncing slightly up and down on her heels.

You smiled down at her and the other kids who were so excited to start their day of learning.

“I’m sorry everyone. Ms. Y/N had a hard night’s sleep. I’ll meet you all in the library in 15 minutes,” you said nodding over to them with another smile, this time more genuine.

You loved how much the children loved to learn. It gave you so much hope for their future and their kids after them.

“Why don’t you all run along and tell the others to start reading the story we are working on together until then,” you kindly instructed.

The kids all nodded in agreement and then went sprinting off to the main building to do just that.

You smiled genuinely to yourself at the sight, for a second forgetting the pain that was deep in your heart from your heartbreak last night. But once they were gone you were reminded of it again. Still, you had a job to do and it wasn’t the kids’ fault that any of this had happened to you.

So, you took a deep breath and went about your morning. You quickly brushed your teeth and hair. Then you changed your clothes, throwing the ones you had been wearing on the floor and looking at them in disgust. You never wanted to see them again. You picked them up and brought them to the garbage. You looked at them for a few seconds before dropping them in the trash.

You took a deep breath and turned to walk out the door.

Your feet hit the grass beneath you and you made your way through the trailer park city that had been created. Everyone nodded and greeted you with a friendly hello was you made your way out of the park and into the open space beyond. You looked over at the big building you were headed to and then glanced to your left at the barn, up towards the hayloft.

You saw Daryl sitting at the edge of the hayloft, legs dangling on the side as he pet Dog’s head and looked over the place with a look of satisfaction on his face. His eyes came to yours and you nodded a polite hello, trying to ignore the spark it created in your heart to have him focused on you.

He looked back over at you with hard curiosity for a moment before nodding back at you, keeping his eyes glued on you.

You forced your attention and focus forward and walked to work…

[alpaca-writes]

Mystics, Chapter 4

When Arch becomes hired on at Mystics, by Lyrem, everything seems to be going well- their life nearly becomes perfection. Soon enough, however, Arch realizes that perhaps not everything is as good as it seems....

Directory: [chapter one] [chapter two] [chapter three]

CW: deadname use, sickness/nausea/vomiting, torture obviously, minor character death.

CHAPTER FOUR: SOMEWHERE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH

Arch’s head lifted slowly from their pillow, in daze, they weren’t exactly certain of where they were, but soon they recognized the cheap wooden panels of their basement bedroom wall and closed their eyes again.

The alarm went off- not one that was programmed into their phone- as it almost never was- but the more reliable one calling their fake name from above.

“I’m up!” Arch’s own voice pained them to hear. Did they sneak drinks from their mom’s vodka stores last night? No, not last night...

Maybe they had caught the flu from somewhere. Thinking back to the previous night, Arch remembered an uneventful evening of low sales and walking home… Nothing amiss. They didn’t even remember catching a chill. They rolled over slowly, the room spinning above them to check their phone. It was 7:10 am. Their bus would be arriving shortly. The feeling of utter dread filled them as usual and then a sudden, unmistakable fear. The adrenaline alone was enough to launch them from their bed, but then Arch’s body fired back with an overwhelming nausea.

They were going to be sick.

Arch reached for the trash can in the corner as they fell with their knees to the floor and missed.

Puking up bile, and heaving, Arch heard the sound of rushing footsteps from above coming down.

“What on earth”-

Arch couldn’t reply, but their mother supplied them with a bucket and pressed a hand onto their back- as if that was supposed to help.

“What were you doing last night that’s got you so sick!?” She touted over them angrily. “Were you drinking? Doing drugs again?”

Arch was caught smoking pot once over a year ago- strange how they would never be able to live that down.

“For Pete’s sake, ----!” The alarm bell had been trilling for a long time. Arch was amazed that they could even hear it any more. “You were out past ten last night. Is it that new job keeping you late? That’s against child labour laws, you know! I’d like to have a word with your employer!”

Burping up an acidic aftertaste, Arch leaned away from the bucket and wiped their mouth slowly. The nausea was gone.

“Food poisoning.” They said breathlessly. “Must’ve been food poisoning.”

“Clean this up and then get back into bed!” Their mother snapped. “I’ll bring you some water, but then I’m going to work. Need to pay the bills here somehow!”

Arch took their mother’s advice, and cleaned up as much of their vomit off the carpet as they could. From the stairs Maleficent stared at the spot with keen interest as Arch looked at the cat with a disgusted sneer.

“You’re a nasty little creature,” they said.

Dropping back into their bed, they were teetering on the edge of a restless sleep when their phone buzzed next to them.

It was Lyrem. It still mildly amazed Arch that he was technologically adept for his age. The message read:

expecting delivery tonight so will be staying late. No need for you to come in if you’d rather catch up on schoolwork.

Ha. Catch up on schoolwork. Arch replied:

sure. much appreciated.

Serendipity was a term rarely used by Arch but in this particular moment, they were certainly thankful for how the universe seemed to be taking care of them. It certainly did a better job than anyone else they knew.

--------------------

The skull glared out from the showcase. The eyeholes seemed a little scratched from where someone had tried to clean it with the wrong instrument and the wrong solution.

Lyrem studied it from every angle he could. He had been at this for hours. The deliverers’ patience began to dwindle, along with that of their security guards. The seller had made it abundantly clear to give Lyrem as much time as he needed to decide how much he’d be willing to pay- so they straightened their back out, nearly forgetting their posture, and dealt with the man who seemed to be too nit-picky for their liking.

“You are sure it’s genuine Mayan?” He asked.

“A sacrifice to Quetzalcoatl himself,” the deliverer replied assuredly. “No others had been recovered in such pristine condition. Guaranteed.”

Lyrem breathed deeply and looked up at the deliverer. “Remove the barrier.” He requested.

The deliverer looked at him strangely. “I’m afraid that is against policy, sir.”

He raised a dark grey brow, his nose wrinkling with a sudden sour distaste that expressed his displeasure playfully.

“Your client knows who I am.” He spoke quietly. “Get them on the phone and explain to them that I will not make an offer until the barrier is removed.”

“Sir”-

“Now.” Lyrem interrupted, steeling his gaze.

The deliverer huffed, pulled out their phone and made the call outside the store. Lyrem watched them through the windows. After several minutes, they returned, shaking their head. He looked at them with a disappointed scowl.

“I don’t make deals on fakes,” he clarified. “Either remove the barrier or I will not make a deal- and I know that your client would love it if I made a deal.”

The deliverer frowned, and their eyes darted from the pedestal and back to Lyrem. He was standing there in the store, confident that they would make the right decision eventually. He approached them, and stared deeply into their blue eyes. His expression had a certain menacing charm.

“Think about the respect you could receive, the promotion, the splendor- if only I can know exactly what is behind this glass- it could all be yours,” he spoke softly.

This one had been broken well, but not well enough.

Retrieving a set of keys, the deliverer began to unscrew the locks from each side of the case; four of them in total.

Lyrem massaged one of his hands with the other as he watched the skull become uncovered. He held high hopes for this one. The security team moved in as he approached the piece, but were stopped by the deliverer in question. They had come this far. At this point, they had no choice but to trust Lyrem’s expert judgment.

The shop-keep closed his eyes, and in an instant, he was engulfed in shadow. The deliverer stepped away instinctively to avoid the darkening fog and watched on in terrified horror.

The shadows entered Lyrem until they were only visible through his eyes. Wisps of the fog slowly leaked from his orifices, and he approached the skull once more. He raised a hand, placing it over the top of the skull and spoke with a voice that belonged not entirely to himself:

“SHOW ME YOUR TRUTH”

The sound rung hollow through the store, as though it had transformed into a cavern for just those few seconds.

It only took a moment before the shadows drifted away, and Lyrem returned to himself. He pulled a napkin from his inside pocket and wiped away a couple drops of ectoplasm from underneath his eyes, and sniffed.

“Tell your client I will give him nothing.”

“What?” Forgetting themselves, the deliverer gasped, enraged by the decision. “I broke rules for you!”

“And aren’t you happy about that? Now you can race back to your little ‘client’ and tell them that the item they tried to sell me was a fake. I will not deal in a fake. I will never deal in fakes.” Lyrem stepped back from the pedestal, welcoming them to screw the locks back into the display. “This skull is Incan, not Mayan, and it’s certainly not a sacrifice- he was a fucking alpaca farmer for crying out loud.”

The deliverer shuddered. They couldn’t go back to their client with news like this, they wouldn’t live to see another day.

“This- this can’t be right.”

“It-it is, I am afraid.” Lyrem mocked ruthlessly. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind getting out. I’ll need to carry on a conversation with a few of my new friends- seeing as I’ve wasted much of my energy with you idiots.”

The stand was covered in a black cloth just as it had come in originally. Lyrem ushered them through the side door of the shop and followed them out, locking the door behind him.

The deliverer muttered to themselves, the confusion that had been dropped before them. Lyrem tutted with a fake sympathy.

“Before you leave,” he added, with just the slightest tinge of genuine wisdom to his voice, “Understand that I have my own bargains to uphold, just as you do. If your client is serious in gaining favour with my client, then cheap attempts to trick me, will not get them what they want. You can tell them that for me, if you wish.”

The deliverer nodded, and entered their black van as the object of interest had been secured into the back. They drove off slowly down the damp alleyway of reflected pools of streetlight. Lyrem turned, and unlocked the door to his storage area. He closed his eyes tightly, held his breath, and stepped over the threshold.

His eyes were opened the moment he heard the door click closed behind him. The darkness was unrelentingly thick. His footsteps sounded dull, and softened against the floor. Clapping his hands twice turned on some lighting from an indiscernible area.

The captives squealed as they hid away from the sudden brightness.

Lyrem smiled as he disturbed them. The shackles jingled heavily against the wall as they straightened out, pressing their backs further in, in the effort to keep away from the strange, looming man.

He looked to each of them fondly. None of them dared to speak. That was good. It meant that he had already left a lasting impression. It meant that they had already tried and failed to scream and be heard from someone outside. But this storage room was soundproof and built to perfection on the border between worlds; a mixture of celestial, earthly, and infernal construction. His absolute favourite style of architecture- besides Manueline, of course.

“Hm.” He hummed, and scratched the back of his head in thought. He only needed one of them to regain what energy he had lost. “Which one of you should I choose first?”

Marcus flinched backward. Lyrem shook his greying head at him.

“Oh, I will have to save you for last. I hope you don’t mind being locked away for weeks on end. In fact, I think I may save you for a more special occasion.”

He switched, turning his gaze onto the boy Kyle and met his eyes. The boy tried and failed to look away from him. His eyes darting back every second just to check if Lyrem was still studying him.

“What’s wrong? Having a bit of trouble speaking up?” Lyrem tutted. He angled his head towards the girl. “What about you? Will you pick up the mantle? Go on, sweety. Show these boys what true bravery is.”

Jess’ eyelashes had begun to fall down her face. Her make up smeared and ran down her cheeks from the constant tears, and was only worsened by Lyrem’s taunting hand, softly wiping them away as he squatted over her. He pouted, mimicking a sympathy that mocked her from head to toe.

“Don’t touch her!”

Lyrem lit up with joy.

“Finally! A winner!”

Jess sobbed as the attention was driven from her to Kyle. “N-no, no, no,” Her voice repeated incessantly. “Please stop- please. I’m so sorry for what we did. I-I promise, it- it won’t happen again.”

Lyrem stopped at Kyle, and moved his lips as he made his decision between them. He looked at Jess. He placed his elbow onto the back of his hand that sat across his upper abdomen. The other hand rested under his chin and it looked more like he was busy judging a piece of artwork, not debating who he would like to kill first.

“You really couldn’t make this decision easy on me, could you? On one hand I would love to make this piece of shit suffer,” He kicked Kyle’s manacled feet around lightly as he regarded Jess with gleeful sadism. “On the other hand, you are so adorable when you’re scared.”

Lyrem took another pause before fully making his decision. Pulling out a blade from his belt around his side, roughly the length of his forearm, he pointed it toward Kyle carefully and knelt down in front of him.

“This is for what you did to my Segovia album.”

Lyrem dragged the blade along the top of the boy’s cheekbone, giving him one smooth slice under his eye several inches long. Kyle whimpered, feeling the sharp sting linger for what seemed like an eternity and began to shout out as the blade continued into the more sensitive skin just underneath his eye. The jingling of chains around his arms and feet grew louder as he tried to ease the pain; too fearful to move his head, lest the point of the knife met his eye. The shouting cries and jingling ceased as Lyrem pulled the blade back.

“You scratched it, so now I scratched you.” Lyrem smiled lightly. “You see?”

Kyle’s eyes opened as blood poured down from one side. Sweat and tears mixed together to add to the stinging pain cut across his face. Lyrem cleaned off his blade onto Kyle’s shirt collar. He gasped as it reached dangerously close to his neck.

Lyrem stood over them again, waving his knife eloquently. His eyes rested on Kyle.

“Now, I do believe I have made my decision.”

Kyle closed his eyes tightly, knowing it would be him- certain of it. He heard a whimper, then a slice, and then gurgling.

He turned his head. Seeing Jess’ neck dripping a steady stream of blood down her blouse, he cried out; his mouth was left gaping as he had no hands available to cover it with.

Lyrem hovered over the body for a while, still gripping the hair that felt like nylon between his fingers. She was still somewhat alive- the expression was clear in her blue eyes that were beginning to look a glassier with each passing moment.

“The whining was already becoming a bit annoying, don’t you think?”

The boys didn’t answer Lyrem. They didn’t say anything as Jess’ spirit left her body. Lyrem licked Jess’ blood off the edge of his knife, grinning.

[puckinghell]

If It’s Just Pretend | Brock Boeser

Summary Request: “I’ve spent the last nine months telling my family about my amazing partner and they just dumped me before the winter break; please be my fake partner”  Word count: 5,4k Note: aka lou’s favorite cliche

---

“So,” you say, sliding onto the couch next to Brock and putting a beer on the coffee table in front of him, “why are you moping?” 

Brock’s eyebrows raise up as he looks up at you. “I’m not moping,” he says, but it sounds extremely mopey, so you roll your eyes.

“I know you better than that,” you tell him sternly, and take a sip of your drink. “You haven’t even made fun of Tuna once.” 

You pointedly shoot a glance at Jake, who’s wearing a Santa hat but no shirt as he loudly sings along to Britney Spears’ version of My Only Wish, and waltzes around Bo’s living room. 

Brock sighs. “Yeah, I guess that is unlike me, huh?” 

But he doesn’t expand. 

It’s the Canucks unofficial Christmas party, the one that comes after the official one at Rogers Arena with all the Canucks executives where everyone dresses up in suits and sparkly dresses and drinks champagne.

You’d been to that one too, but this one is the one you’ve been looking forward to. 

The one with your favorite people dressed in ugly Christmas sweaters (or no sweater, if you’re Jake Virtanen) singing Christmas songs and drinking beer and destroying Bo’s carefully decorated flat. 

You think you just heard Rouss yell something about fighting the Christmas tree. 

Now Brock is your best friend on the team - he’s been your best friend since he walked into the coffee shop where you work one day and made a pointed comment to some guy that was rude to you, after which you gave him a free coffee and your number - but you’ve spent so much time around the rest of the guys that they’re all kinda your friends, now. 

Team parties, movie nights, you’ve attended them all. Nobody ever thought it was weird that Brock brought you, not even when he had girlfriends that he probably should bring. He never did. He always brought you.

Until about 9 months ago, when he started bringing Amber around. But, even then, he made sure to always invite you, too. If it was an official team event where players were only allowed a plus one, he’d make Petey bring you.

(“I don’t mind,” Petey had said, “I like you a lot more than any other people I could bring”) 

It still... hurt, to say the least. You know it’s ridiculous, but it still felt like you had been replaced, still felt like you hadn’t been enough. 

It’s never been like that, for you and Brock, even if that’s what you wanted it to be in the beginning. It remained platonic, and you didn’t have the guts to move it along, and then Brock started dating other girls, so you just kinda gave up.

But the girls had never lasted, and you’d always been the first priority, so it was fine.

Until you weren’t, and it wasn’t. Until Amber. 

But tonight, Amber isn’t here, and Brock is sulking, so you turn around and smack Brock against the chest. He’s wearing a sweater with a gingerbread man on it, that you end up punching straight in the face.

“Stop ignoring me,” you chide. “Tell me what’s got you out of the Christmas spirit.” 

You know Brock loves Christmas: he goes all out every year, and this party is one of his favorite evenings of the year, so it must be something serious to have him sitting on the couch staring stoically ahead while nursing the same beer all evening. 

Brock sighs, and you can see the stubbornness leave his shoulders as they sag down. 

“Amber left me.” 

And... oh.

That’s not what you were expecting. 

“Oh, Brock,” you mumble, reaching out to squeeze his knee, “I’m sorry...” 

“No you’re not,” he interrupts, a little gruffly. “You never liked her. None of the guys did either.” 

You feel your cheeks flush: perhaps that’s true, but you didn’t think Brock ever noticed. He never let on that he did. 

It’s not even that you didn’t like Amber, as a person: she was fine. Not really your type of girl, but fine. You just didn’t like the way she spent her evenings clung to Brock’s arm; how you felt like you couldn’t truly be yourself with your best friend when she was around. You didn’t like the looks she shot you sometimes, as if you simply being there offended her. You didn’t like how Brock’s smile dimmed when she was around.

He always told you that he was happy, that she was great, but you never saw it reflected in the way he acted around her, or the way he looked at her. So you thought that even if they’d been together for over half a year, it probably wasn’t going to last. 

Except now he looks genuinely upset and you feel a bit bad for being right. 

“I’m not super sorry that she’s gone,” you admit, because lying to Brock is useless: he’s always been able to look straight through you. “But I’m sorry you’re upset. Why did she break up with you?” 

Brock fumbles with the label on his beer bottle. “Just, our lives didn’t really fit together...” he drawls, and you can tell he’s deflecting.

He’s not telling you everything, and any other day you would push him. But this isn’t the time, and it’s not the place, and at that time Jake trips over his own feet and nearly takes down the dinner table, so you get a little distracted.

It’s not until the end of the evening that you see Brock again. You would’ve stayed at his side like a good friend should, but it seemed like Petey had that covered, and Bo put you on Jake duty - “You’re the only sober person here, you watch him” - so you had your hands full. 

But at the end of the night, most people gone, Petey comes up to you with Brock trailing behind him. 

“He’s drunk,” Petey states, which is surprising because before you left Brock alone he’d been sipping the same beer all night, and now he’s suddenly stumbling over his feet as he’s got his big body draped over Petey’s back. “You take him home.” 

“Why do I have to do it?” You cross your arms, narrow your eyes at him. “Why can’t you do it?” 

Petey sighs, motions to Brock. He seems annoyed. “Brock, I’m going to take you home.” 

“Noooo,” Brock whines, and he’s drunker than you thought, his voice slurring and his words jumbling together. “I want Y/N.” 

Petey snorts and pushes Brock towards you. “Have fun with him.” 

“Y/N?” Brock slurs, wrapping his arms around you. “You’re here!” 

“Yep...” You nearly buckle as he puts all his weight on you. “You’re gonna have to put in some effort here, bud, I can’t carry you.” 

Brock giggles. “I could carry you though.” 

“Not right now you couldn’t.” You start guiding him to the door, that Bo already has opened for you.

“Uber’s outside,” he says, shooting a pitiful look at Brock. “Is he gonna be good?” 

“You know what, Cap, I have no idea,” you tell Bo truthfully, and then you begin the impossible task of getting Brock in the Uber.

It takes a full 10 minutes but finally you’re in the back of the car, driving towards Brock’s apartment. He’s awake but barely, his head keeps bobbing down, and finally he drops it onto your shoulder.

You feel something squeeze in your chest. You barely ever see Brock like this: he’s not the type of guy to hide his emotions, but he is genuinely a happy go lucky guy, always positive and cheerful even when things are going wrong. Even when bad things happen, he shoulders the pressure and stays strong. He always holds it together; always holds you together. 

But now he’s gripping your hand tightly, like you’re the last thing tethering him to the earth. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” you mumble, carefully carding your fingers through his hair. Brock exhales softly, and you can feel the tension slipping away from his body. 

“It’s not even about her,” he says, and the words are not only slurred together but also barely above a whisper.

You hear it, though.

“What’s it about, then?” 

“I spent... fuck, I spent nine months telling my parents how great she was, and they were so...” He pauses. “Happy, you know? That I found someone. Because they worry sometimes. About me. And they were finally gonna meet her at Christmas. And now they can’t and they’re gonna worry, my mom, she’s gonna be so worried and...” His voice trails off. “It’s not about losing her, it’s that I don’t have anyone now, and that’s gonna worry my mom, and I don’t want that.” 

Maybe, in another world, where Brock isn’t drunk on your shoulder, where you’ve got your feelings a little more under control and your heart isn’t beating in your chest, you would just pat his head and let him cry it out, leave an aspirin on the bedside table and text him tomorrow to find out if he’s still alive.

But you’ve never been good at hiding your feelings, when it comes to Brock, and Brock has never seemed so vulnerable, so you blurt out:

“I can pretend to be your girlfriend and come to your house for Christmas and your mom doesn’t have to worry.” 

The second the words leave your lips you feel your cheeks heat up: that’s stupid, obviously he’s not gonna want that, he wants Amber, not you...

But then Brock’s head snaps up and his eyes are wide as he asks: “Really? You’d do that for me?” 

You nod, and you don’t tell him you’d do just about anything for him, and somehow a week later you find yourself with Brock’s head on your shoulder again, except this time he’s asleep, not drunk, and you’re not in an Uber but on a plane to Minnesota. 

--

“This was a bad idea.” You’re standing in front of the house Brock grew up in, and you know his family is inside. Brock is next to you, holding a suitcase. 

“Why?” he frowns. “Are you nervous? You already know my parents.” 

“Yeah, but...” You don’t finish your sentence but you know Brock knows what you’re saying. You know his parents but you know them as Y/N, the friend, and not as Y/N, the girlfriend, and somehow it changes everything. 

“Hey,” Brock says gently, nudging you with his elbow. “They already love you, and they’re just gonna love you more now. It’s gonna be fine.”

And it means nothing, because he can’t know that, but something settles in your stomach. 

Then he takes your hand and you think, oh, and then, I’m screwed.

Because of course, in order to be his pretend girlfriend, you’re gonna have to act like his girlfriend. Which is just gonna be massive reminder of everything you can’t have, everything you can’t ask for.

Brock opens the front door.

“Mom, dad?” he calls out, dropping the suitcase at the door. The first person that appears is Jessica.

“Hey Jess,” he smiles, hugging her.

Suddenly, family appears from everywhere: Laurie comes out and then Paul, followed by a bunch of dogs, who are the first ones to acknowledge your presence. 

“Y/N, honey, you’re here!” Laurie says, reaching out to hug you too. “Brock, I thought you said you’d bring your girlfriend.” 

“Uhm,” he answers, and you can’t help the way your heart drops.

Because of course they wouldn’t think you’re his girlfriend. You’re just the friend. You’ve always been just a friend, you’ll always be just the friend. You’re just not girlfriend material, not for someone like Brock.

Brock scrapes his throat, hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you into his side. “Mom, Jess, Paul, you know Y/N. My girlfriend, Y/N.” 

There’s a silence, one beat, two. Then, it’s Jess that breaks out into a grin.

“Yay,” she says, “I like her.” 

And it’s like that’s it, the seal of approval; suddenly Laurie has her arm around you as she hoards you into the living room, chatting excitedly while Paul slaps Brock on the back. 

“Finally got your head out of your ass, huh?” you hear him say, but you don’t have time to overthink what that means, because Duke is there.

“Honey,” Laurie says, “it’s Y/N! She’s Brock’s girlfriend!” She turns to you. “I told him it was gonna be you but he didn’t think so, he said you were way too good for him.” 

“Hey, I heard that!” Brock protests. “Talking bad about me behind my back, pops?” 

And it’s easy, from that moment on: easy to let Laurie make you a hot chocolate, to sit by the fire talking to Paul, petting a dog, easy when Brock sits next to you and slings his arm around you. It feels comfortable, familiar; like you’re already part of the family. 

It’s easy that night too, to help Laurie with dinner, joke with Duke about football, join Paul when he teases Brock. 

“Evil, evil woman,” Brock groans, and he drops his head in your lap and you card your fingers through his hair and let yourself believe, for one night, that it’s real. 

Of course, that illusion shatters when it’s time for bed. 

“You’ll be staying in Brock’s room, I assume?” Laurie asks.

“Of course she will,” Brock says, and it’s not until you’re both in his old room that he turns to you with a frown.

“Are you okay with this?” he asks. He’s looking pointedly at the double bed. “I can sleep on the floor.” 

And, well, you’ve slept in a bed with Brock before, but only when you’re really drunk, and it doesn’t feel the same now; it feels like this is something, like it matters, not a stupid decision by two friends who both refused to take the couch.

But you’re here for three days and you’re not about to let Brock sleep on the floor at his own house, in his own bedroom, so you shrug.

“It’s fine.” 

It’s very much not fine, when Brock crawls into bed next to you wearing only sweatpants and you can feel the heat radiating off his body; or when you wake up in the middle of the night and he’s got one arm slung across your body, his warm breath stroking your cheek with every exhale. 

I’m just helping a friend, you tell yourself. It means nothing, and I can stop myself from feeling like it does. 

But then a soft snore escapes Brock’s lips and you know you’re absolutely, royally, completely fucked. 

---

The next morning Brock walks into the kitchen with his eyes half closed and his voice laced with sleep, as he mumbles a “good morning” and goes straight for the coffee maker.

You know he’s not much of a morning person but it’s still hilarious that it takes him a full ten minutes to notice. 

“Are you cooking?” His voice sounds a little more normal, but it’s still gruffer than normal and you wish it didn’t affect you so much. 

“I thought it would be nice to make breakfast for your family.” You send him a tentative smile; you didn’t discuss this, and you don’t know if you’re crossing some kinda boundary, but everyone is so busy making sure you’re taken care of that you can’t help but feel a little bad. 

Brock laughs. “Oh boy, if you thought they loved you before, they’re really gonna love you after you make them pancakes. They’re gonna be so upset when we...” 

He cuts himself off, and his eyes widen slightly. You know he didn’t realize what he was going to say, and that it’s probably not the place to say it. 

Anyone could walk in at any minute, and it wouldn’t be good if they overheard you talking about your breakup. 

Fake breakup. Whatever. 

You frown down at your pan. Maybe this breakfast thing was a bad idea, maybe...

“Hey,” Brock says softly. You look up from the pancakes and suddenly he’s standing right there, and he carefully threads his arms around your waist. “Don’t,” he mumbles, “don’t worry about it. That’s my problem, okay?”

It is his problem, but it very much feels like your problem; you don’t tell him that, though, instead smile and flip the pancake. 

“Be useful,” you scolds him, trying to get it to feel normal again, “and go set the table.” 

“Okay, babe,” Brock says, and he presses a quick kiss to the side of your head before going off to find some plates, and it very much feels not normal at all, because there was nobody around to act for. 

And so, this is where you ended, at some kinda crossroads where you can either remind yourself that it’s not real and feel miserable the entirety of Christmas, or you can allow yourself to pretend and feel miserable after. 

You watch Brock as he carefully sets down the plates, gets the coffee maker going again and baby talks the dogs as he pots around. 

It’s gonna hurt anyway. You might as well enjoy it, even if it’s just pretend. 

---

You have breakfast with the family, after which Laurie tells Brock to “go show you the town”. So you drive around the town and he shows you where he grew up: his school, old house, favorite park, and of course the rink. 

“Spent way too much time there.” The rink looks like every other ice rink in the world, but Brock is smiling at it so fondly you’d think it was a person. “That place kinda made me who I am now, you know.”

It feels strangely personal, to see this side of him. You thought you’d seen your best friend from every angle, but you’ve never seen nostalgia out of him. It softens his edges and makes everything in the car feel warm and fuzzy, a little like a dream. 

Then, on the drive back, Brock reaches over the console to grab your hand and you’re sure it must be a dream. 

He doesn’t look over at you, doesn’t speak. Christmas music is playing softly on the radio and it’s starting to snow; just small white puffs floating through the air. You allow him to thread his fingers through yours and then, suddenly, he’s smiling.

“I have an idea,” he says, and you’re proud of yourself for sounding relatively chill when you ask “what”. 

If someone would just hear your voice, they’d have no idea you’re freaking out on the inside. 

“Wanna go for a walk?” 

“Where?”

“Where” turns out to be a deserted pond, in the middle of a field. You have to climb a fence to get there and Brock ensures you that it’s not trespassing because he knows the owner, so you decide not to question it. The ice is thick and filled with bumps. 

“I used to skate on this pond,” Brock says. He carefully steps onto the ice and presses his foot into it, almost as if to make sure it’s really there. Then he holds out his hand and you step down, grasping his hand for support.

You’re not a professional hockey player, and you’re wearing boots with no profile; it’s not as foul proof as Brock might think, and you’d rather not break your leg in some abandoned field in Minnesota that might or might not be someone’s private property. 

“How?” you ask. “It’s so bumpy.”

Brock laughs. “It’s a pond. That’s how they work. But you’re right, I fell all the time.” He shrugs. “My mom says I used to come home so black and blue she was sure I would one day just not come home at all.” He pauses. “But she always let me go anyway. Knew it was the only place I wanted to be.” 

He walks to the middle. Your hand is still tightly in his, so he pulls you along, sliding on your shoes. In the middle, he stops, and you slide into his side; he doesn’t seem to mind, simply holds you there. 

Brock is staring at the sky when he speaks, almost like he’s talking to  himself, or the air, and not you. “Whenever I was upset about something,” he continues, “I would come here and I would stay here for hours. I always told myself I could just live here, until it got cold and then I went home.” He chuckles, then becomes somber again. “And now...” 

The air is charged with something, and you’re afraid to speak, afraid to break it. But the pause lasts too long, so you risk it anyway. 

“And now?” 

Brock smiles and looks at you; there’s something written all over his face but you can’t quite read it, can’t quite put a finger on it.

“Now I go hang out with you,” he finishes. 

You don’t know how you end up where you do, but Brock’s face is so close you can nearly count his eyelashes, and he’s staring at you intently, and you don’t know who leans in first but suddenly your lips are pressed together.

His hand comes up to cup your cheek, and his fingers are cold against your skin, a stark contrast with the warmth of his lips on yours. You’ve had a few first kisses but they never felt like this; they felt exciting, sure, but also scary, and unfamiliar.

With Brock, you don’t have to work to find your footing. You fit together like the perfect puzzle, and everything feels exciting, but in the same way it feels exciting to come home after a long day. Every nerve in your body settles, and you feel comfortable, safe. Like you belong. Like it’s real.

It’s not real. 

You step back, Brock’s hand dropping to his side almost comically slow. Instantly, he’s frowning.

It can’t be weird, you’re gonna die if you made it weird, because you still have to be his fake girlfriend for two days and...

How on earth are you going to survive this?

“No one to pretend for,” you joke, but it sounds foreign either to your own ears, like the words are coming from someone else. You hear a low buzz that you’re pretty sure is coming from inside your brain. 

“What?” Brock stammers. “No, Y/N, fuck, that’s not...” 

“I think,” you interrupt him, and you hear yourself sounding a little hysterical, now, “that it’s better if we go home! I promised Jess we’d watch Elf, tonight, and I wanna make some popcorn. Let’s go.” 

You jump off the ice and nearly run to the car, repeatedly reminding yourself not to cry, and spend the car ride staring out of the window with your arms wrapped around yourself. 

Brock doesn’t say anything, not until the car is in the driveway and he puts it in park. 

“Listen,” he sighs, and there’s no way you’re gonna make it through this conversation right now, so you jump out of the car and slam the door. 

The house is warm when you walk in, and almost immediately, you hear quick footsteps coming down the stairs. 

“Y/N!” It’s Jess. “I was about to paint my nails. Wanna come so I can do yours?” 

And you’re not in the mood, but it’s Jess, and it’s not her fault, and you know it’s a big deal for her to open up to people, so you plaster on the biggest smile you can muster. 

“Sure.” 

---

“Red?” Jess asks, showing you a bottle of nail polish. “For Christmas?” 

“Yeah, okay.” You really could not care less if you tried, but Jess doesn’t seem to notice. You’re sitting on her bed, in her room, and she falls down next to you comfortably, taking your hand and putting it on her leg as she opens the nail polish. 

There’s Christmas music playing.

“You’re a pretty big fan of Christmas, huh?” you ask her. 

She nods. “When I was little, I already had that.” She motions to the corner of the room, where a small plastic Christmas tree sits on a desk. “And I would put it up in October, even before Halloween. Everyone said it was crazy, and mom and dad always asked me to wait until after Thanksgiving at least, but Brock would help me put it up and say, if it brings you happiness, you keep it close to you as long as you can.” 

She smiles. “I’m glad he kept you close.” 

And you wanna yell at her: it’s not real, he doesn’t, it’s all fake, but you don’t, because with everything, he’s your best friend, and you wouldn’t do that to him. 

“Uh, yeah, me too,” you say, instead, and it comes out as a whisper. 

Jess switches hands, moving on to the other nails. 

“I know he can be a bit of an idiot, sometimes,” she muses. “But I knew even he’s not dumb enough to let go of you. Like, he never told us he was dating you, but we all kinda knew. He’s always talking about you, you know, and when he does he always sounds so in love. He just can’t keep it out of his voice. He’s an open book, like that. When he loves someone, it’s written all over him, and he clearly loves you.” 

Every single word that falls from her lips seems to hit you right in the chest, and by the time she lets go off your hand, nail polish done, your hands are shaking. 

Jess doesn’t notice. “I’m glad that it’s you,” she says, with a smile. “I never liked the girls he dated before, but I like you. I’ll tell him to stay with you forever.” 

And it’s in that moment that you decide you can’t do this anymore. 

---

“I’m going home.” 

The words are loud in a quiet living room. It’s just you and Brock; you waited until everyone else went to bed, after the movie. It was torture, to wait; your heart beating in your throat the entire 2 hours, and you were so sure Brock was going to feel it vibrate out of you, even though he kept his distance.

You guess you sufficiently freaked him out earlier, at the pond.

Now, his eyes widen and he sits up straight.

“What?” 

It’s too hard to look at him while you speak, so you stare at your hands. Red nail polish. You’ve already peeled it off because of the nerves.

“I have to go home, Brock. I can’t do this anymore.” 

Brock sits so still you can’t tell if he’s even still breathing. When he speaks, his voice is a little shaky. 

“Is it because I kissed you? Cause I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. It just kinda happened, and...” 

“And it didn’t mean anything?” you finish for him, and it’s like a switch gets flipped. Now you’re mad. “That’s exactly why I have to go, Brock, because it doesn’t mean anything to you but it means something to me!” 

You jump up, cross your arms.

“I know this is my own stupid fault, I should’ve never come here, but I was trying to be a good friend. Because that’s just the thing, that’s all I’m ever gonna be to you. A good friend. And I know that. But this? This is just one big reminder of what I want but can’t have. Having your family act like I belong here, having you act like I belong here, it’s too much because I know that I don’t.”

Brock stands up, now, but he doesn’t say anything and you don’t really give him the time. 

“I had to listen to Jess tell me that she’s so glad I’m your girlfriend, because she likes me, and how much she can see in your eyes that you love me. And I had to sit there and say nothing because I knew if I opened my mouth I would’ve told her that she’s wrong. I love you, but you don’t love me, and I thought I could just pretend, but I can’t, Brock. It hurts too much.” 

“I didn’t know...” Brock tries carefully, but you can’t let him finish that sentence, can’t let him attempt to let you down gently. 

“I know you didn’t, because you wouldn’t have invited me over here if you did,” you tell him softly. The anger has disappeared, now, floated out of you like it was never there at all. “But you know now. So I should leave.”

And with those words, you disappear upstairs to grab your stuff. 

A little, teeny tiny part of you hopes that Brock will follow. But he never does.

---

You’re sitting on the porch, waiting for your Uber to the airport. You don’t actually have a flight yet but you’d rather sit alone at a busy airport than stomach this for a second longer: you’re only just managing not to burst into tears. 

It’s no longer snowing, but there’s a thick layer of snow across the yard. Foot prints lead up to the door. Your footprints. Then, next to them, bigger ones; Brock’s. 

God, you hate this. 

You’ve just dropped your head in your hands when the door opens behind you. It creaks, then closes and clicks softly into the lock. 

You know it’s Brock before he even sits next to you. You don’t know if it’s the sound of his footsteps or the smell of his cologne or the fact that your heart seems so tethered to his that you can literally feel his presence, but you’re not surprised when his voice cuts through the quiet night. 

“I lied to you, about why Amber broke up with me. It had nothing to do with our lives being on different paths.” He pauses, and despite yourself, you look up. He’s staring straight ahead, but then he turns around and his eyes catch yours. 

Your stomach twists.

“She broke up with me because she didn’t want to spend her life being the second most important thing in my life.” 

“Hockey,” you say, because that’s what all WAGs joke about; how they have to be okay with being the most important thing after hockey. 

But Brock shakes his head. “No, you.” 

And, uhm, well, what?

“What I did to her wasn’t fair. I dated her because I knew I had to get over you and I thought she could help me do that. But if the both of you needed me at the same time, I would fly to the moon to be with you before I’d drive to the other side of Vancouver to be with her. And she knew it, and she finally decided she wasn’t going to put up with it anymore.” 

He shrugs. “I was upset, but for all the wrong reasons. Not because I lost her. But because I knew then, that I was never going to get over you.”

“But...” you start, but now it’s his time to cut you off.

“No,” he says, gently but firm, and he turns to you completely; his knee is pressed into your thigh and he reaches out, takes your gloved hand in his. “Let me say this. You say it hurts, because I’m making you feel like you belong here and you don’t. But that’s not true. You do belong here. And you belong in Vancouver. And you belong anywhere I am, because you belong with me. And God,” he laughs, humorlessly, “believe me, it hurt me too, to see you fitting in with my family so well, as I knew you would. I knew they would love you. Because they can always tell when I love someone.” He pauses, then, softly: “And I love you.” 

This time, you know it’s you who leans in and connects your lips, but Brock is right with it, presses the palm of his hand into your lower back as he deepens the kiss. 

It feels like hours and seconds at the same time, when he pulls back; only slightly, only enough to breath.

You sigh, happily this time. “This would probably be a lot more romantic if it was still snowing,” you mumble, a smile spreading across your face.

Brock seems unbothered as he shrugs.

“We can just pretend.”