#i get why they dont make them anymore though like people will mostly skip them in a binge watching era | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tastyykpop · 4 years

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𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-Final

Pairings: jaemin x reader

Genre: smut, fluff (mostly at the end but it's short 🤠)

Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, punishment, overstimulation, edging, face slapping (literally slaps her once), choking (wOw iM sO sHocKeD), hair grabbing, degradation, jaemins gets angrier throughout the story, fingering, finger sucking, praising, unprotected sex, soft sex, y/ns pretty dumb but I think we knew that by now, once again jaemin calls himself nana because shut up

Tag list: @ahgastayzen @allykookiez @wooyugta @dreamlesswonder86 @taetaeismy @nanaysa @patchi-chi @simplicitysbabe @sweetjaemss @huangvibez @kaitherring @xxjaemchenct

It was obvious how tense and awkward jaemin was the entire time you stayed at his house, which lasted longer than you thought. You stayed for two days, per jaemins request, and you thought what if he's finally angry and decides to break. No, it was the complete and utter opposite. Jaemin was sweet, something you've barely seen when he used to bully or make fun of you before all this happened. He made sure you were okay staying with him another night and took care of you when you weren't hungover.

Did anything special happen though? Nope, just you and jaemin cuddling every so often while binge watching Netflix shows while he sometimes cracked jokes here and there.

It was definitely a sight to see. Even made you wonder if this is what its like to date him.

"Nana," you spoke, jaemin lifting his head off your shoulders to give you his attention, "Get up, we need to go to school."

Jaemin groaned, putting his head down on your pillow like chest and began, "Can't we just skip school?" He whined, "Maybe play a bit too?" Jaemin lifted his chin up, placing it on top of your breasts as he pouted, waiting for you to give into his cuteness.

Wouldn't that be nice- but you weren't going to miss school to mess around with jaemin. No way. You weren't even his girlfriend yet and you were sure his little play thing, seulgi, wouldn't be too happy, shes been calling him since he brought you here.

"No." You grabbed him by his hair and peeled him off your body. Jaemin wasn't very amused by the action.

"Oh i get it." He mumbled, "You want to see jeno, right?"

The question caught you off guard. But jaemin being jealous wasn't unknown to you anymore. He was possessive, that much you knew, and he always found a way to guilt trip you about it.

"I mean, we have been talking a lot more so a lil bit." You smiled, earning an eye roll from jaemin as he got up with nothing else to say and stalked his closet for something to wear. You glanced at your clothes which were actually his. And since you never went back to your apartment to get another outfit, you had to wear what you wore at the party.

Eyes stared into your bare back after you threw off the shirt that covered your body. They lingered, but didn't settle on staying until you slipped the bralette on.

Jaemin was going to comment about it, yet kept his mouth shut because there was no use saying he could give you a t-shirt instead, youd just complain about how it didn't match.

But the skirt was a different story. It was a party skirt, something way too short for school. No wonder jeno liked it. And to be honest, jaemin didn't hate it himself, he'd just rather not have people like jeno staring at you and your thighs. You were his. At least in his head you were.

"Fuck!" You screamed, "My bags at home." Softening your voice, jaemin just about wanted to smack you for scaring the shit out of him. He actually thanked the heavens your bag wasn't here, it gave you a reason to change.

"Let's go to your place quickly before school starts." Jaemin grabbed his things and you nodded, following behind him almost speed walking because of how long his strides were. "And change when we get there too."

You looked down at your fit and hummed, stepping into the car ready for jaemin to go.

"I don't think I can handle trig anymore." You bit your lip at the paper in hand. Jaemin looked down over your shoulder and almost scoffed. It was the homework due today, of course it was also one of the hardest pages the professor had given the class too, making it ten times harder for you to finish.

"If you had come over these past few nights, you wouldn't be so stressed." Jaemin shrugged.

It was like you knew he would say that with the way you rolled your eyes and crumpled the paper up, "Im actually thinking of dropping that class." You stated.

"Dont." He rested a hand on your shoulder, "Come over later and I'll help you." It wasn't even a question, in fact it was him telling you to do something. Its clear jaemins had enough of you ignoring him and hes also fed up with your complaining. Even wondered why you held out this long.

"But-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer anymore." Jaemin stated sternly as he sighed, stopping in front of your classroom and put his hands in his pocket. "Stop trying to ignore me," he leaned forward, just inches away from your face, "its not working."

"Just because you think its not working doesn't mean its not working...." You tilted your head to the side questioning your own words, "Anyway, you're jealous." Crossing your arms and leaning against the wall, your ego fed off of jaemins glaring eyes.

"Bullshit," jaemin tsked, "why would I be jealous?"

You smirked despite knowing you were playing a dangerous game with him. And jaemins good at playing games, he's done it to you for years.

You took a step forward, ultimately getting closer to his still leaned over figure and said, "You kept staring at jeno and I at the cafe and you had an attitude the entire time. Its obvious you know." Slithering a hand up his cheek, you pinched his smooth skin, "Nanas jealous."

It was an understatement to say jaemin didn't feel shivers go up his spine from your low voice. For once jaemin didn't have anything to come up with. Nothing crossed his mind to tell you that what you saw of him wasn't him being jealous, but that would be the dumbest of lies.

"Quiet for once? That's a first." You snickered at the small shade of red on his cheeks. It was either anger or him actually getting flustered. Either way you still claimed victory for keeping him surprisingly quiet.

Jaemin pulled your hand away from his face and opened his mouth, "Admit that you're purposely doing it then. There's no way you and jeno are magically good friends now. You hate him just as much as you hated me."

"Im not purposely making you jealous," you lied, "And I never hated jeno, just strongly disliked him for being friends with you."

The older almost laughed in your face from how stupid your lie was. "If you want my attention, say it." He smirked, proceeding to push you against the wall behind you without a second thought making you uncross your arms, "Its not hard y/n."

His hands trailed down to your waist, intensly watching your face as you looked around him, afraid that what he'd do will go too far and some students will see a not so innocent sight.

"Youre full of yourself." You inhaled sharply as he leaned forward ever so closely, just barely brushing his lips over yours.

"And you'll be full of nana soon." Jaemin almost closed the space between you with his lips, but someone stopped him.

"Jaemin!!!" Seulgi came running up to jaemin in her cute high heeled shoes. Her hair bouncing perfectly against her back as she pulled him away from you and into a hug, not before she planted a kiss to his lips as if you weren't standing right there, "I haven't seen you in so long, babe. You didn't call." She pouted with more puppy eyes than normal.

You missed the way jaemin growled at her, almost throwing seulgi off him since you were so focused on them kissing. Never did you think you'd witness it either. Something about it made your stomach churn and you couldnt bare stand there for long before walking away, taking zero notice of the way jaemin called out for you.

"Let's get some coffee before the bell rings." Seulgi pulled jaemin, but his eyes still lingered on the door you entered.

You couldnt stop your mind from racing in class. It was like your mind was playing games on you, telling you that jaemin wasn't in the slightest interested in you and thats why he never answered you, because he was too embarrassed to be seen with someone like you.

But that was only you overthinking.

Obviously jaemin cared for you, he wouldnt have let you stay over his house, tutored you, or be possessive when it came to you. So why did he kiss her back? In front of you too? Was he actually dating her for real?

These questions ran through your head, giving you a mini headache from thinking too hard about it.

It was like you were in high school all over again where everything was dramatic for no reason, well in some aspects you made it this way, but your point still stands.

"Y/n," someone tapped the table repeatedly, bringing you back to reality, "Class is over." jeno looked at you with suspicion but brushed it off thinking you were probably tired.

You glanced around the empty room before looking back at jeno, "Oh...yeah."

"Well uh," he scratched the back of his head, "You should probably get to your next class."

That's the last thing you wanted to do. Jaemin would be there and so was one of seulgis minions that always kept an eye out for anything he did. As annoying as it was, you weren't surprised anymore.

"Im gonna skip."

Jeno grimaced as you stood up and grabbed your things, walking towards the rooms exit as he followed close behind, "You? Skip? What the fuck??"

You stopped in your tracks, jeno almost bumbing into you in the process, "Do I need to spell it out for you or something? S-k-"

"No shut up. Its just shocking that your skipping." Jeno half grinned at the way you stared at him stoically.

"What are you getting at?"

The man before you chuckled, "Im saying youre a goody two shoes and you've never done a bad thing in your life."

You can't say he was wrong, but you also have to admit that you have stepped out of your shell recently and maybe for the better.

"Everyone changes some time in their lives." You pointed out, strolling out of the class to nowhere specific. "Better run to class jeno, dont want the teacher calling you put again."

"Yeah yeah." He eye smiled, giving you a quick pat on the back before saying bye and walking to his class.

You couldnt help but smile at him as he moved further and further away. You had to admit, jeno wasn't as bad as you thought. Not anymore anyway. But as jeno soon disappeared around a corner, you sighed and sauntered to the library where you were going to do your work until class ended.

Students were scattered everywhere in the library, some typing away at their laptops or school computers while others had papers and books sprawled out in front of them. Unfortunately for you, you were going to be the ones with almost any school supply in front of them. And with a sigh and slouched shoulders, you sat at an empty desk near the front of the library, taking your homework out as well as some books.

Normally it wouldn't be a problem for you to focus, but it was stressful with so many things laid out for you. Face palming and groaning quietly at your trig paper, you attempted the first problem which honestly didn't seem too bad, but you weren't always so sure of yourself when doing these kinds of things. Mostly because you second guessed yourself making you pick the wrong answer when you were originally right.

"This is so fucking stupid." You threw your head into your hands, giving up on trying since it was useless anyway. You needed jaemin. He was the only reason you started getting some good grades on your work.

"Whats stupid?"

Speak of the devil.

"The trig home- wait why aren't you in class?" You gazed at him before averting your eyes, not trying to let them linger too long.

Jaemin pulled a chair out and sat closely beside you, raising a brow as you inched away from him. "I could ask you the same thing." He tipped the chair back a little, keeping his eyes locked on the side of your stoic face.

"Im doing something if you can't tell." You snapped, instantly regretting the way your voice raised once you noticed jaemin clenching his jaw out the corner of your eye. But you couldnt help it, you were still frustrated, embarrassed, and jealous from earlier.

"Whats wrong?" Jaemin calmed himself, not wanting to blow up at you.

"Nothing." You ignored his eyes that watched you do out the problem. Probably silently telling you that it was all wrong but you weren't trying to pay attention to him.

"Youre doing it again."

"Doing what? I'm just trying to do my work." After writing your answer down, you checked over tbe work before you smiled to yourself. This had to be the right answer.

"Stop playing dumb." he grabbed your chin, "You know what you're doing."

Wiggling out of his grasp was no use, jaemin managed to move his hand to your jaw to keep you still.

You winced at the sudden squeeze, "I dont know what you're talking about."

Jaemin had enough of this bullshit, now grabbing your neck instead. Your eyes wondered the room hoping no one was paying attention, "Im not playing games with you. Why are you ignoring me again?"

"That's a good question." You looked away and though jaemims grip was starting to hurt more each second, you still found a way to show your disinterest.

Jaemin sighed, letting his hand drop and you inhaled deeply without a second thought. "Whats wrong then?"

"I told you its nothing."

"Bullshit." Jaemin took the pencil out of your hand just as you were about to write, your hand flying up to try and take it back but he pulled away.

"You really wanna know then?" You asked sharply to which jaemin nodded, "You kissed seulgi. Happy now?"

Jaemins mouth fell at your confession. Yes he figured that upset you a bit, but he never thought it was enough for you to ignore him.

"I never even went that far with jeno."

"Never went that far, huh?" He snapped back, shaking his head in disbelief as his face once again was steaming with anger. "Need i remind you how you made out with him at the party. Or were you that wasted and cant remember?"

The new found anger overlapped the previous one with more than just anger, but annoyance. There was no way jaemin was telling the truth, you would never kiss jeno.

"No i didnt."

"Dont tell me you didn't, I fucking saw it." His hand found its way on the table creating a loud bam that startled not only you, but a few kids that even lifted their heads to see what caused the noise. "You were the first one to go that far, so blame yourself before you blame me."

Taking a deep breath, you had to calm down before you said something you'd regret. Knowing jaemin too, you already had something waiting for you at his house.

"I believe you." Jaemin was ready to open his mouth but you were quick and responded, "because i remember." The problem with this answer was because it was untruthful. You already dug yourself a whole from the beginning yet you knew what you were getting yourself into. There was something about playing with jaemins anger that made you go wild.

Determined with your lie, you kept the straightest face like it was proof you recalled that night. Jaemin too was focused only on your face, his hand balling into a fist ever so slowly.

"I remember....he was a really good kisser," you whispered, "And you looked so mad." Snickering away at your words, you placed a hand on jaemins lap and watched his expression go from anger to almost frothing at the mouth.

Bingo. He was too far gone to see through you at this point and this is where you smirked to yourself.

"You're unbelievable." He scoffed, rolling his eyes thinking about how fed up he was, "Lets go."

Despite being told what to do, you sat looking between jaemin and your sprawled out homework. "I have things to do."

Jaemin literally shoved all your papers into your bag, not caring how they crumpled in the small space as you complained and swatted at his arm. Of course though, jaemin payed no mind to it, grabbing your hand and bag before dragging you out of the library.

You fought and struggled to get out of his grip. From the start you knew what you were getting into, that's why you did what you did. Now being dragged to his house it dawned on you that it was time to suffer whatever he had in mind.

"When we get to my house," jaemin locked his eyes with yours as he led you to his car, "We'll study trig, and depending on my mood and your attitude after, I might go easy with the punishment later."

"Im not going over to study and then be punished afterwards." Your voice faltered as you saw a familiar someone walking towards you and jaemin.

Jenos eyes lit up sadistically, smiling at you, telling you to smile back for one reason: to set jaemin off.

You did without hesitation, jaemins hold getting tighter and tighter as he glared at his best friend who walked by, holding the proudest grin on his face.

Once at the car, jaemin shoved you inside the passenger seat, slamming the door before he situated himself in the drivers side. Your eyes watched in annoyance yet you were intrigued. Maybe because you haven't had any action with jaemin since about a week ago.

Resting your head against the headrest, you stared outside the window. There wasn't any way you could hold another conversation with the man, it would only drive your hormones insane.

Its been thirty minutes and to say you were paying attention would be the stupidest thing ever. every word that jaemin said went in one ear and out the other. Some part of you was purposely choosing to ignore him, but your attention span was almost non existent in the first place. So listening to jaemin talk about trigonometry was only boring you.

You tapped out, playing with your pencil or doodling on the paper. Each time you weren't paying attention, jaemin would ask you to write down the answer or a land a slap right on your thigh. It stung and made up jump with shock in your eyes as jaemin told you the same thing each time: "pay attention." But did you? God no. It was impossible. With the thought of a punishment too, it made your mind run like it was in a marathon.

"Little girl," jaemins voice once again brought you back to reality, "what did nana just say?" You shrugged your shoulders slightly, keeping your head down like you were shy yet you were far from it, holding a small grin on your innocent face.

"I dont know, nor do I care." You finally looked up. Jaemin was none too happy, letting his chest fall.

Shaking his head, he said once more to listen and pay attention.

Jaemin took your pencil so he could write out the problem for you, deciding to be nice even though you weren't returning it. You watched the way his pretty hands flexed with every number or letter he wrote. The subtle veins showing every so often too made you almost drool at the sight. Oh what you would do to have him wrap his hands around your neck again.

"Solve it." Jaemin threw the pencil down in front of you, resting his head in his hand to watch you. But you didn't move, not even a simple budge.

"No."

"Y/n its not that fucking hard, just solve it."

You glanced at the paper then the pencil that laid on the table before grabbing it and snapping it in half.

"Im not doing it." You faked a smile, ready for jaemin to snap just like the pencil.

"You need to pass this class, y/n. Stop messing around and pay attention."

You shot up from your seat, "I. Dont. Care. I'm going home."

It wasn't long before he suddenly stood up too, grabbing you by the hair and threw you on his bed, "Okay you wanna act up?" He hovered over you, pinning your arms down on the soft bed as he straddled your lower half. "I dont get why you continue to act like a brat when you know you're going to be punished. Unless you want it?" Jaemins face was merely inches in front of yours not until you blew into his face and smirked when he flinched and pulled away.

"Ever wonder why I act this way? Your easy to push, I can get in your head and make you get mad so I get exactly what I want." You snickered, "Not to mention its to make you suffer for not answering my question." A hand was placed on his covered chest, rubbing small circles on the fabric of the shirt.

Suddenly, jaemin laughed. Though, it wasn't a joyful one. It was more sadistic and filled with amusement, "How is it making me suffer if you're the one about to be punished?"

"Cuz i still get what I want in the end."

"My dick or my attention?"

"Both."

Jaemnn chuckled dryly, quickly sitting back and tearing your clothes off without a second thought.

You were ready to protest about your clothes until jaemin took matters in his own hands and shoved his fingers nearly down your throat to shut you up.

"Im tired of your voice." He spat, "All you talk is shit."

Whimpering around his fingers, you tried anything in your power to try and pry them out. He never moved back, sticking his fingers deeper and deeper until he heard you gag and whine the best you could. Your throat felt so tight and it was getting harder to breathe. Jaemin didn't care, deciding to just fuck your mouth with his fingers as he started pulling your pants and panties down, lifting his hips up so he can take them off all the way.

"It would be so much nicer if you weren't a brat you know." Jaemin began, easily shoving two fingers inside your dripping cunt, "Nana could've stuffed you full of his cock, made love to you, and made you happy. Instead," his fingers that were buried in your heat, curled and pushed in a certain way that made your eyes roll, "You wanted to be a little bitch."

You drew out a long hum, the pleasure felt so good after pushing jaemin for so long. All his anger was going to this one punishment and you should've felt scared, but you weren't. You were excited and loved every bit of it.

The way he fingered you was almost too surreal. It made your body crumple against his will and he wasn't even fucking you yet.

It was getting harder to breathe being filled by his two fingers. Just barely becoming too overwhelming so you tapped his hand to signal you needed to breathe. Jaemin took his hand out, watching your face to make sure you were okay as you gasped for air.

"Are y-you try-trying to kill me or s-something?" You moaned at one particular hard thrust that made your breath hitch.

"Oh shut up, I know you liked it. Probably imagined my cock down your throat." He bit his lip, taking in the thought of what you would look like on your knees for him before shaking it off.

"I-i was n-not."

Jaemin smirked devishly, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out more, but you kept clenching around him. Your hand grabbed his wrists in a death grip, moans fell from your open mouth and jaemin ate that all up. Loving how your body shook, knowing you were so close.

Right when you felt your orgasm coming, jaemin ripped his fingers out of you, essentially letting your juices flow out. But you didn't cum, no you were just that wet.

Your hips lifted up like you would get friction but there was nothing to get friction from, you looked dumb and pathetic.

"Not fair..." you mumbled, frowning at the annoying smirk on jaemins face.

"Punishments aren't supposed to be fair," he said a matter of factly, pushing your hips back down on your bed as he grazed his fingers over your wetness before pushing back in again.

This time setting a ruthless pace, taking in your fucked out expression.

"Jaemin- please im s-so close." Fidgeting and clawing at his wrists, the orgasm built back up. It got closer, closer, closer. Right there, it was right there, but jaemin took it away from you again.

"God, I love this way more than I should. Breaking a brat is so much fun." His fingers dripped with your arousal. He stared at the strand connecting his fingers. It was so much and so lewd, it should've been embarrassing to you yet it made him want more from you. "How many times should nana edge his pretty girl? Maybe-"

"Fuck you." You cried, ready to take this into your own hands and finish yourself off.

Jaemins hand made a perfect necklace on your neck, tightening his grip on the sides so you felt all his anger, "Thats the last thing I would say if I were you."

"W-what are y-you gonna do? Spank me?" Thinking he actually would if you said that, you were slapped across the face, eyes not staring at jaemin anymore but the wall next to the bed.

"Dont test me anymore, your already in for it." He growled into your ear. Leaving his hand wrapped around your neck, he slipped back inside, this time fucking his fingers into you at an antagonizing slow pace.

You wanted to scream and push him away for being a tease, but you reminded yourself that this is what you wanted, this was what you'll get. You had no idea how long this pain will continue though. All you could think about was cumming. In fact, that was the only thing on your mind as he fingered your tight pussy. The pain of not being able to orgasm was so unbearable, it just about made your eyes tear up. Were you that desperate that you'd cry over it?

"I wanna...c-cum so bad..."

The man above you stared at you in disbelief. He basically just started and you were already a mess.

"You really want to cum that badly?" You nodded hastily, tears at the brink of falling, you couldnt hold it in anymore, "Then apologize for all the shit you put us through. Starting with you ignoring me, fake dating jeno, and purposely pissing me off for the hell of it." Jaemin said with his whole chest. Being able to say it out loud reminded him of everything. From the time you started this crap, to now.

"I-im sorry- I'm so f-fucking sorry, jaemin." You forced yourself to look into his eyes, his angry red eyes that tore into your soul to find any lie, yet you had none. You meant what you said with full honesty, "Please nana, l-let me cum."

Jaemin simply gave you a nod and thats when you let everything out. You came all over his fingers but jaemin didn't stop nor slow down. He kept the same rough pace as before and you could only scream and cry from the sensitivity.

Then jaemin started rubbing and pinching your sensitive clit before giving your cunt a slap that made you jolt and cry out.

"Ahh- w-wait jae-mmm....s-so sensitive."

Jaemin rolled his eyes, "thought you wanted to cum? I'm giving you what you want, babe."

Your legs closed around his fingers though it didn't stop him from curling and fucking them inside. He could just easily push them open yet he found your sensitivity amusing which led you to cum again without warning.

"What a pathetic little fucking brat you are." He gathered the white substance that leaked from your clentching hole and shoved it back in, "Making such a mess of yourself."

Your back arched, even more sensitive than before.

The hand on your neck moved down to your breast, squeezing at your nipples and playing with everything he could get his hand on. Your nipples were so sensitive that that alone could make you cry and moan just from a simple touch.

His fingers brushed against your sweet spot where you screamed his name. Being over sensitive made everything feel more pleasurable and painful. Every small touch on your pussy brought you to a shaking pleasure that you couldnt control. It was becoming too much and too overwhelming.

"Fuck, are you gonna cum again? It hasn't even been five minutes." He watched, eyes filled with amazement as you shook and once again, came on his sheets and fingers.

Your shaking didn't stop though, it was like the kind of shake you get when your cold, though you were far from it. The intensity of this orgasm was just too much where even jaemin had to pull his fingers out and let you breathe for a moment.

"You okay, baby?" He asked quietly, kissing your temple as you nodded your head, "Can you give nana one more then?" Not wanting to stop, you nodded without a thought causing jaemin to smile and lean back.

Jaemin finally got rid of his clothing, crawling back on the bed before giving you a kiss so you wouldn't notice how he slipped his cock inside.

Surprisingly jaemin took his time pushing in, savoring your sweet little moans that drove him crazy. He started and kept a slow pace that made the overwhelming feeling dissolve away. Now you were wrapping your legs around his waist and staring into the soft eyes of jaemins that were just red a second ago.

Every vein against your walls made you feel ecstasy. Jaemin was careful with each thrust and it felt like pure love. They were passionate and he didn't fail to show it.

"Taking nanas cock so well, just like the good girl you are." Jaemin smiled at your beautiful face that contorted into pleasure. Both of your moans filled the room. More cuss words were thrown from you like it was the only thing in your dictionary.

The lewd sounds of your bodys bounced off the walls as jaemin fucked you slow and steady, grabbing your hips gently as he kissed all over your face, neck, and breasts. He sucked on your skin here and there, creating small bruises that looked like a tattoo as you grabbed the back of his head, lifting him up by the hair to bring his face to yours so you could place a kiss to his red lips.

The kiss was sloppy and slow. Neither of you cared though, both focused on your orgasms that kept coming closer.

Jaemins thrusts stuttered and his cock twitched inside you. The hand in jaemins hair pulled and messed up his locks, sure to create a messy sight later on.

" 'm gon-gonna cum." You moaned, lifting your hips up to meet his along the way.

"Cum, princess."

The final orgasm left your body feeling like it was on a cloud while all you saw were stars making jaemin coo at your fucked out face.

Pulling out, jaemin finished on your stomach before letting his body fall next to yours, wrapping an arm around your hips and pulling you into him..

You both panted out of tiredness, neither one bothering to move as you were both spent.

"Did I hurt you, princess? Are you feeling okay?"

You smiled into his chest, "no you didn't hurt me and I feel fine."

"Good." Jaemin smiled, petting your hair before laying his head on top of yours, "Wanna go on a date?"

You swear your heart stopped as your face heated up, "Jaemin, you're doing everything backwards."

"So is that a yes or no?"

"Of course its a yes!"

It was a peaceful restaurant that jaemin brought you to, saying it was supposed to be a place a lot of couples went to which you thought was absolutely sweet of him.

"So...uh." jaemin looked anywhere but your face like he didn't just have sex with you for the second time.

You snickered and sipped the drink in your hand, "Why are you so awkward all of a sudden? Its just me."

"I know it's just- I feel like I can't say what I wanna say because I'm afraid." Jaemin sighed.

"Of what exactly?" You placed the drink down, watching as jaemin fumbled with the menu before he covered his mouth and mumbled something you coulsnt quite grasp, "What did you say?"

"...nothing."

"Jaemin."

His doe eyes stared into yours like it was some sort of contest, wanting you to look away first but you and he did, "Alright fine. I said I'm a bit nervous if I were to ask you out."

Tilting your head to the side, you puffed your cheeks out in confusion, "Why?"

"The last relationship I had, the girl cheated on me. Afterwards she said it was because i wasn't good enough." He frowned, returning his attention back to the menu where you presumed was his hiding place for the time being.

"Well she's a bitch and is missing out on an amazing person." You pushed the menu down, "Is that why you acted that way when you saw jeno and I at the cafe? Did you think I thought you weren't good enough?"

Jaemin nodded slowly, "Kind of. I didn't want to lose someone I loved again."

"Loved? Na jaemin-"

"Dont say it." He groaned.

"You've gotten soft! Does this mean what I think it means?" You quirked a suggestive brow at him causing him to put his head in his hand.

"Yes, ill be your boyfriend." He said in his hand before you took it away and grabbed his face to kiss him. "I- princess when did you become do confident?"

"When did you become so shy?"

"Fair point."

Everything felt right all of a sudden. No more of jaemin being your bully. No more coffee being poured on your head. No more stupid high school drama that wasn't even drama in the first place. It was all right for once. And you couldnt say you could complain. After weeks, you got what you struggled to have before; na jaemin.

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traincat · 4 years

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if you dont mind i would love to hear your thoughts on how and why peter seems to be more fulfilled by lower paying jobs (i.e photography, teaching) rather than by high paying jobs in STEM

(Sorry for the wait, anon! I did get this first ask, as you can see, it’s just that sometimes I tend to hoard asks that I want to give long in-depth answers to and then they get buried.)

So I think to best answer this the first thing we have to do is look at Peter’s 616 employment history -- what jobs he’s had when and for approximately how long. So here we have a more or less definitive list -- I may have skipped over a few minor jobs that aren’t important in the long run of the character history, but for the most part this is accurate. For the sake of brevity I am not going to count things he’s done as Spider-Man that have earned him money, like a brief bodyguard stint or his occasional time with the Avengers, because this is really more about his identity as Peter Parker and how his civilian employment plays into his life as Spider-Man than about his life as Spider-Man.

Works for the Daily Bugle on and off, through a variety of positions from part time to salaried, from the age of 15 onwards. Primarily a photographer. How good of a photographer Peter actually is varies from writer to writer, but he remains unmatched in his ability to get certain shots ranging from ones of Spider-Man (duh) to particularly high risk environments (different duh). He also briefly worked for rival newspaper the Daily Globe, the Bugle’s main competitor. His position as a full time newspaper photographer is his most well known (and most consistent) job.

A TA in grad school at Empire State University. At this point in time he labeled himself as having “the wrong temperament” for teaching -- and I would personally say I think his stints teaching college are much less engaging than high school.

Published author. His book, Webs, a collection of his Spider-Man photography, was a major bestseller that sent him on a book tour around the country. I hesitated sticking this on here because it’s very tied into his work with the Bugle -- and he was still working for the Bugle when the book was published -- but I figured it was worth including for the novelty of the fact that Peter’s technically a best selling author/artist.

Peter worked as a scientist at Galannan Alternative Research for Immunization Development (GARID) in Portland after his clone Ben Reilly took over the identity of Spider-Man. Although often overlooked in discussions of Peter’s job history, I think his stint at GARID is important in part because it illustrates how much of Peter’s time being Spider-Man took up and how a job with flexible hours was necessary for that balancing act. When he was working at GARID, Peter wasn’t Spider-Man, so it wasn’t difficult for him to keep a position at a laboratory.

I mean granted the GARID job didn’t last long and there was sort of a whole big mutated monster case going on with it but you know. Anyway he pretty quickly moved back to New York and started working for the Bugle again.

Peter’s next major job at a lab comes in another period where he’s supposed to have quit being Spider-Man. (Which he did, very temporarily, and then he very much didn’t. Anyway, you’re seeing the pattern here.) He briefly worked at Tricorp, a private brain trust. This is a really short-lived position, even as Peter’s science gigs go, because -- Spider-Man.

At this point things get dicey employment-wise as Peter heads into a weird period of canon where Mary Jane was presumed dead. She wasn’t! But everyone thought she was. It was weird. When MJ came back (and promptly left for LA, not that I blame her), Peter exited this period of limbo by becoming a science teacher at his old school, Midtown High. This is the main career, beside news photography, that I think he really shines in.

Civil War/One More Day/Brand New Day hit and completely tank the direction of Spider-Man history. Peter’s marriage is erased by the devil and also he’s not a high school teacher anymore, for some reason, even though nobody remembers he’s Spider-Man anymore which is the reason he initially lost the Midtown High job. Make it make sense. Anyway, in Marvel’s desperate scramble to take Spider-Man back to the unmarried basics, as if they even got new readers that way, Peter returned to photography. When Dexter Bennett bought the Bugle out from under JJJ while JJJ was sick, Peter began working for the newly minted “DB” as a tabloid photographer. It wasn’t great.

He also briefly at some point in here worked at a comic book store for like five minutes. Mostly he complained about people who read comic books and made jokes about how he doesn’t get along with the X-Men.

Under Slott’s run, Peter began working at Horizon Labs. Slott had a pretty major problem with Peter’s genius not being “recognized enough” and constantly had him inventing new things, showing off, etc.

Horizon Lab became Parker Industries under Otto Octavius when he bodyjacked Peter during Superior Spider-Man and made himself CEO. When Peter got his body back, he was still CEO. It was bad but Peter did tank the company on purpose so that Otto and also nazis couldn’t get their hands on it, which was sort of fun.

Peter went back to work for the Bugle, but as their science editor, because Slott was still in charge and there was some weird commentary about photography not being an adult job. Which I think is pretty weird in a medium that’s very dependent on visual art. But okay.

Then Peter got fired because he was busted for plagiarism of Otto Octavius’ work... that Otto did himself... while he was in Peter’s body... and Peter couldn’t reveal this because then he’d have to explain... and maybe I hate comics.

In MC2 he becomes a forensic scientist! I really like this for him actually. I think it combines his interests and experiences in a very thoughtful way. But I do want to note it’s after a Spider-Man career ending injury, so again there’s not a real conflict there between his work as Spider-Man and a career.

Peter I think is an especially interesting case in how his character ties into his employment history because one of the first things he does in his story is figure out how to make money, and he does this because the Parkers don’t have any. If Ben and May were comfortable -- even comfortable enough that their teenaged nephew was unaware of financial pressures -- Spider-Man’s story would be completely different. But Peter immediately feels he pressure to use his new powers to earn money, at first with brute strength. And what he says he’s going to do with his earnings is that he’s going to take care of Ben and May:

(Amazing Fantasy #15) So the concept of Peter as someone who is very aware of financial pressure and who is pretty explicitly linking money to support is present from the absolute beginning. But at the same time, there’s a kind of selfishness presented in him here -- he’s only going to take care of Ben and May. They’re the only ones he cares about here, because as he’s stated they’re the only ones who have ever “been kind” to him. Peter at the beginning of his story is very rooted in his anger and his bitterness, and it takes him losing Uncle Ben -- because it wasn’t Peter’s “job” to stop the burglar -- to get him to the point where he starts to be able to see beyond that.

Ben’s death also heightens the Parker’s financial pressures -- Ben is the primary earner in the household. (Aunt May in the original context of the early 1960s was most likely a homemaker, and as an older woman especially she wouldn’t be expected to have a job. But even moving the timescale up to a point where she would be expected as a woman to hold down a job, it’s important to note that early in Spider-Man canon Aunt May is depicted as being in very poor physical health.) While it’s not clear in the initial Spider-Man stories what Ben did, it’s clear that with his death whatever income the Parkers had coming in abruptly stops:

(ASM #1) This sets in concrete one of the central conflicts Peter and May have -- both of them lie to protect the other. Peter feigns being an ordinary boy in order to protect May from the stress of his secret life as Spider-Man, worried that she wouldn’t be strong enough to handle the danger he regularly puts himself in. But this is a learned behavior, and here we see that he most likely learned it from May: she doesn’t want him to worry about the very deep financial troubles they’re obviously in, so she pawns her jewelry, and she stresses to him the importance of his education. Again I have to note that there are some pretty significant social differences between the 1960s and today in regards to this story -- Betty Brant, for example, notes that she had to drop out of school and become a secretary because of her own family’s financial problems, something she’s ashamed of. So early Spider-Man is very rooted in money, class, education, and how those things intersect. I think it should be noted that the only early Spider-Man characters who are financially well-off are Liz, Gwen, and Harry. (We don’t know anything about Flash’s financial situation in early Spider-Man comics but retroactively we know his family situation is not well-off.) In high school, Liz’s father is a bigshot who owns a dining club, but later on the Allans experience financial hardship with Liz quite literally being on the streets when Peter reunites with her when he’s in college. Harry’s father is a rich businessman, but from the beginning he’s depicted as emotionally negligent, caring more about money than spending time with his son:

(ASM #40) “After all... I had a business to care of! Money was the most important thing of all! I had to get rich! I needed wealth... for that was the key to power!” So right away you have this link between wealth, corruption, and negligence. Norman’s pursuit of wealth is his given reason for his neglect of Harry. Later on we’d learn that Norman’s father was also abusive and that that abuse formed Norman’s ideas about power and wealth. (Spider-Man! It’s about cycles of abuse!) There’s a very contrast between Norman’s attitudes here and the Parkers loving (but poor) household. Gwen is the only exception here -- she and her father are depicted as comfortable, most likely edging into wealthy, although on nowhere the level the Osborns have been elevated to. But compared to Peter, Flash, and Mary Jane especially -- all from poor households, with MJ and Flash’s fathers both being abusive -- Gwen’s home situation is the picture of stability, both in terms of economic status and in terms of her loving and very present father.

My goal in outlining all of this isn’t to say that Spider-Man’s message is definitively “money is bad” because I don’t think it is. I think as a series Spider-Man is very aware of the comfort that money can provide. But I think there is a frequent message about excess in Spider-Man -- excess power, excess wealth. As Norman says above, in his eyes, money is the key to power. With great power, comes great responsibility. In Norman hoarding and abusing his wealth, he abuses his power. If he provides for Harry, it is solely through money -- there is no love or devotion in Norman’s money-focused world. And I think that’s important when you look at where Peter starts in his story, before Uncle Ben’s death. He’s going to use his powers to make a lot of money and he’s going to provide for Ben and May but he’s not going to care about the world outside of that. I think one of the interesting things about Peter -- and this is where Slott’s run especially fails the character -- is that he’s not interesting in getting rich. He’d like to be comfortable, for sure -- he’d like to have enough money to not have worry about it, to not have the need to hustle impede what he can do as Spider-Man, to be able to take care of his family. (And there’s some machismo stuff linked in here for him too -- in the early days of their marriage the fact that Mary Jane earns much more than him is something he struggles with.) But he doesn’t care about being rich. He doesn’t care about the money; he cares about the support that the money would bring.

That feels like a simple statement but I think it’s actually a really big distinction, especially when you’re analyzing a character. And I think it’s because Peter understands that value that it makes him so empathetic to others who have financial struggles. One of my favorite short self-contained Spider-Man stories is called Windfall, from Marvel Fanfare #42, where a mixup with a check embroils Peter in the personal affairs of a bank teller, a young single mother who is fired from her job ultimately because she refused the advances of her boss. Peter gets her her job back -- through blackmailing the boss for his other sexual affairs, which some people might think is immoral of him, but I think really speaks to Peter’s understanding of how the greater world works, and what he’s prepared to do to get bigger justice. But more importantly he uses his own money to pay the young woman’s rent, and he does it in a way where she never even knows it’s him. Because he understands her situation, the way someone who had grown up comfortable never could. And that understanding I think puts him a place where it’s more important for him to both keep that understanding and maintain that ability to act relatively freely, in the way that bigger, more prestigious positions in scientific fields might restrict him. There’s a reason he keeps getting fired from these scientific positions and it’s not that he can’t get them, because we can see from his employment history very clearly that he can. It’s because the freedom to act as Spider-Man and what he can do as Spider-Man is ultimately more important to him.

And while high school teacher is my number one favorite profession Peter has ever had, I think that his position as a newspaper photographer is also very important to the character’s history, in part because the Bugle is such a big part of his life and the connections he’s made but also because the Daily Bugle itself is important. I think it’s interesting to note that two of the biggest superheroes of all time from both of the big companies -- Spider-Man from Marvel and Superman from DC -- have had long running journalism jobs, Peter as a photographer and Clark as a reporter. I don’t think I really have to go into a whole thing about how good journalists are so important and why it matters that we have these incredibly famous mythic figures that are positioned in the roll of journalists specifically. But I do think it is important to Peter that he’s put in that position as someone who cares about uncovering the truth. So ultimately I think what I mean when I say Peter is more fulfilled by his jobs as a photojournalist and as a high school teacher than by his comparatively more high paying stints working as a scientist in a lab is that Peter gets the most fulfillment out of careers where he can actively see, day by day, that what he’s doing is helping people, and that it’s a very direct line from him to the people he’s helping. His efforts can’t be twisted, they can’t be used for other purposes the way they can within a larger organization. He has a line of control in what he can do to help other people. It’s like how Spider-Man functions best as a street level hero: what he does best is saving and helping individual people, on a case by case basis. And you can turn around and demonstrate that in his civilian life best in jobs where he gets to directly interact with people. And ultimately to Peter making that difference is more important than a better salary.

(Marvel Knights Spider-Man #9)

#peter parker #marvel comics #traincat talks comics #long post/

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cottoncandyjester · 4 years

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Wait....Top Wholesome Y/N gets terrifying jealous. Can I request that!? Y/N wrap their arms around the yandere's waist (hugging them from behind) and lay their forehead on their shoulder. Y/N takes a deep sigh and looks at them with a glare full of anger (or horniness...but mostly Y/N being piss off.) Y/N whisper in their ear, "Let's go home...I need to release some steam." Yandere is unable to walk the next morning. (Can you write it about the yanderes who are just...bottoms? Or become a bottom when Y/N is a top? Thank you)

I just adore the thought of the yanderes being bottoms to a possessive y/n

Skipped hikaru cause he has a whole story bout him being a bottom

Didn't add scarlett cause there is no way she is a bottom, the only way she would ever bottom is if maybe she was with a feral reader

This story contains: smut, jealous reader, reader giving off soft yandere vibes

Theodore

Theo was incredibly handsome so it's only natural that someone would wish to flirt with him. He had took you to one of his favorite coffee shop for a relaxing date, all it took was you leaving to the bathroom only to return to have a flock of girls around him. "Oh, well thank you for such kind words but I'm on a date" it seems they weren't getting the hint so you walked over before simply plopping down in theo's lap a sharp glare on your face while the male pushed up his glasses his face red before he placed a hand on your thigh. "Theo, let's go home now."

Your hands gripped the male's hair as he felt like his hips were breaking from you slamming down on his cock over and over and over. "Y-y/n~ y-you're being too rough on me i-i cant-" his shaky words were met with a rough kiss before you pulled back watching his eyes get teary. "Who owns you and this cock?" Your voice was low and filled with a burning rage that you just had to release. With that you continued to ride him in such a way that drove him absolutely insane, you were definitely in control of this situation "y-you do! I-im all yours!"

Axis

"oh so you're blind? Poor baby. Must be hard on you."

Axis nervously stood waiting for you to show up to the movie theater for your date and while waiting some older women decided that he was just too adorable to pass up. The male tried to explain that he was on a date but it seems they weren't getting it "y-you all a-are really k-kind but I'm waiting for my-" his words were cut off when a scent hit his nose and like an excited dog he turned his head towards the smell before feeling a soft hand against his arm. It's you! He knew that smell anywhere! You wrapped your arms around his waist your breathing tickling his neck.

"hey babe, let's go home and watch movies instead okay?"

Axis drooled as he felt you grip his hair yanking his head close to your sex making him pleasure you while you pumped your fingers deeper into his hole. "You're such a sweetie, but you shouldn't be so kind to strangers ax it makes me sad" your pouting tone made the male whine and whimper as he trailed his tongue along your more sensitive of areas

"i-i never wanna make you sad..never! P-please forgive me y/n!"

Salem

Salem had his nature of docile and calm, moments where you two can go on a date on public without making a scene. Though feeling someone rub against him always riled him up so when you excused yourself to the bathroom while you do were eating breakfast at a diner it wasn't long until he had some flirty strangers sit beside him and rub along his thigh trying to take him home.

"you're hair is so pretty, I've never seen a boy with such pretty long hair" their voice was making salem's head spin though he wasn't sure if that was good or bad. His instant thought was downright gruesome they weren't you, so it was okay to eat them..right?

Salem started to drool which they must've taken as intense pleasure cause it wasn't long until he was backed into the corner of the booth trying to hold in his cannibalistic urges while he felt hands trail up his thighs. And soon the feeling was whipped away as you pulled the stranger away before grabbing salem's hand your eyes cold and filled with rage. It was time to go home

"who owns you?! Who owns everything about you?!"

Your voice was drowned out by salem's loud squeals and moans as you thrusted deep into his hole your hands gripping the leash connected to the collar around his neck that choked him. "Y/n! Y/n! Y/n!" His chanted got more and more whinier as you fucked him harder until he was sobbing and shaking under you. Salem was such a good boy

Prince

Prince was a total ladies man or at least he was until he met you, he had to let all his many one night stands know that he was off the market though some just didn't get the memo. "Come now princey, you really gonna say no to me? Don't you remember what we did right here after hours...we were so loud I'm sure the whole area heard it" prince nervously gazed at the female who sat at his bar clearly wanting another ride. His main worry was you coming back thinking he was unfaithful.

"Sorry but I don't put my dick just anywhere anymore"

"but you could, you always hated commitment so why bother now?"

Before prince can utter a word you were hopping over the bar without a single care in the world. "Hey babe, you done working?"

Prince admired your badass nature and simply nodded ready to go, though he missed that deadly glare you shot towards the slut.

"if your groupies can only see you now, whining and whimpering to feel an ounce of pleasure" you spoke lowly as prince bucked his hips up as you stroked his cock and fingered his hole but gave a frustrated huff when you stopped for the third time that moment, just as he was close you would stop and he was going crazy.

"p-please, have mercy"

"I'll think about it."

Yuki

Yuki gave off huge 'dont bother me' vibes but even still with that people would come up to him thinking they have a chance. You two were at the arcade and had split up since he had to use the bathroom, as he started to walk back to where you were he bumped into someone causing him to stumble back lightly. He looked and saw that it wasn't you so he proceeded to keep walking without speaking a word.

"don't leave a guy hanging now hot stuff!" The male stranger followed yuki who now scrolled through his phone ignoring the stranger but soon noticed they blocked his path. With a frustrated sigh he looked up his green eyes clearly bored and uninterested

"you're quite the looker..how about we go out together?"

"no."

They definitely wasn't expecting his dry and short response but when yuki suddenly felt himself being touched he cringed lightly making an expression one can see as cute. Having someone touch his chest that wasn't you gave him bad vibes, he didn't like that. Before he could take action you were at his side hugging against him calming his nerves down

"please don't touch him okay? He has anxiety" your sweet tone did not match your sharp glare or light scowl. With that you dragged yuki along who was more than eager to cling to you.

Yuki panted softly his back arching as you thrusted slowly inside of him making it unbearably slow, he needed more so much more and your teasing was making him crazy. "Come now, you can be louder than that can't you? Tell me what you want yuki"

"y-you, I want you..please y/n"

Rocket

Your beefed up boyfriend always got attention wherever he went, so going to the beach was probably a terrible idea honestly. You two found a perfect spot and once all set up rocket excitedly stripped out of his shirt, you definitely noticed all the stares from both male and females. Of course it wasn't long until a group of girls came up to him blushing and giggling, clearly wanting to ask him out

You sat next to him on the towel while he started to put sunscreen on, your glare was sharp as the girls started to flirt and gawk. "You're really ripped, do you work out or something?" Rocket who was oblivious as always proceeded to entertain them with his innocent answer. "Well we're going to play volleyball, of your sibling doesn't mind you leaving then maybe you can join us?"

SIBLING?! utter rage filled you but you forced a smile now standing up, rocket glanced your way and was about to correct the girls but you simply interrupted him. "Hey babe I think it's gonna start raining soon we should go" you were met by a pouty rocket who really wanted to go swimming but the two of you packed it up and went home.

The water grew cold as you stroked rocket's thick cock while standing behind him trailing kisses along his back feeling him shudder and squirm against your touch. "B-babe, I'm gonna- ngh! So good" his small moans always made you even hornier and it wasn't long until you had him pressed against the shower wall sliding inside of him and feeling his large body shiver at the feeling. Your hands going straight to his chest now groping it and squeezing his nipples

"I'll show you who you belong to"

Yuuta& yuuji

Having two boys meant twice the flirting and twice the annoying sluts bothering them. You three had taken a vacation to disneyworld and when your three weren't in the hotel fucking each other's brains out you were at the amusment park walking around and doing things.

"hey how about we ride that?" Yuuji pointed at a big roller coaster that made both you and yuuta worry about your life. As you three waited in line yuuta felt someone brush their hand against his waist, thinking that it was you he settled down not minding it until he nothing both your hands gripped yuuji's arm.

with wide eyes he turned only to see a random girl touching him but to make matters worse it seems yuuji got targeted as well by a boy, the twins had a look of discomfort. "Sorry me and my brother were wondering if you two would be open to a double date, you two are very cute and-" you cut them off with a loud fake yawn causing both boys to look towards you in worry their attention on you now.

"oh sweetie! Are you tired? We can go back to the hotel if you want?"

"damn y/n if you're sleepy you should have let us know!"

Wasn't long until you held both boys hands the three of you walking back to the hotel while you shot the strangers a hard glare.

"you two really are so cute, no wonder people fall for you." You eyed the two boys who both had their hands tied above their heads, blindfolds on while a line of sex toys sat at the end of the bed. You've been teasing their holes for the last hour and they couldn't take it much longer.

You pumped the toys into each of their holes watching their reactions, yuuji always gave the cutest moans while yuuta whined and let out small cries of bliss.

#yandere imagines #yandere ocs #yandere

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palmett-hoes · 4 years

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what's your take on the foxes mbti?

oh buddy ur never gonna believe this but i wrote a foxes MBTI post YEARS ago

im also not into mbti anymore and haven't been for many years so that post is probably still more accurate and in-depth than what i could give you now. i’m just gonna copy the whole thing but i read it over and it still totally vibes w how i understand the characters, like way more than i was expecting it to. i only made one edit (it’s marked) and it was to add a detail not change anything

i hope you’re really really into mbti otherwise this’ll probably be gobbeldegook

i used to be obessively into mbti so here’s an analysis based on cognitive functions mostly.

SKIP IF YOU WANT. for anyone with no idea how it works, here’s a quick rundown: cognitive functions are about the way people think, process, and prioritize information, not necessarily how they act, though people who think the same way often act the same. the 8 letters that make up a type represent how people process and prioritize internal and external stimuli. every letter actually has an ‘internal’ and 'external’ form so there’s Thinking (internal(ti) and external(te)), Feeling (internal(fi) and external(fe)), Sensing (internal(si) and external(se)), and iNtuition(internal(ni) and external(ne)) t’s always go with a corresponding and opposite f (like ti and fe always go together), same with s’s and n’s (ex: si and ne always go together). a set of t, f, s, and n in a specific order makes an mbti type.

neil: intp (ti ne si fe)

neil has incredible analytical ability although it’s very programmed for survival but he’s also a fast thinker and very quick to adapt to new environments. he also approaches things from original angles that other people dont consider, all that sounds like high ti/ne. the lower functions fit well too. in times of stress, he returns to old habits and falls back on what’s familiar, that’s classic low si. his emotions are also very exterior. he’s bad with other people from lack of exposure, but he’s committed to harmony between those close to him and has an impeccable ability to read the emotional states of others while being completely oblivious of his own, and his sense of self is tied to exterior things like exy, friends, keys, and legal documents (lol) that’s fe

andrew: intj (ni te fi se)

ni is really hard to describe but it has to do with being able to draw conclusions from scattered input, which fits with andrew’s uncanny ability to spot lies and obsession with finding out the truth, especially with high te, which is about spatial order and logic, think of how prioritized he is with the physical order of things: who sits where, who wears what, etc. a lot of people want to make andrew infj i bet as like a “subversive reading” but he’s definitely not. i used to be really close to an infj and they have hyper-empathy, as in she would describe not just caring about other people and being able to read their emotional states but literally feeling the things the people around her felt. this is a common result of the ni/fe combo, and the reason why andrew is definitely not infj. tertiary fi fits very well instead because andrew is deeply attuned to his own inner emotional state. he’s self-confident and doesn’t care about other people’s perception of him, but he’s also very concerned with his own feelings and understanding them, even if they’re repressed. he’s also very aware of his physical surroundings, which plays into his deductive ability, although it’s not his focus. that’s low se

kevin: estj (te si ne fi)

kevin is a classic estj. he’s controlling, demanding, and driven. he tries to control the actions of those around him and gets very distressed when things dont run smoothly, as well as having strong feelings about improving efficiency. high te people make great managers. kevin’s whole story arc is about breaking old habits, which is a very si problem. it has to do with trusting and craving memory and familiarity, and explains kevins need for endless repetition. he’s innovative, though, coming up with new strategies and drills (ne), it’s just based on what’s already familiar, and you can see him spiral into creating all possible worst-case scenarios when he’s stressed (low ne stress reaction, they like to be prepared). finally, he’s a dick, but he cares about other people and wants to improve their lives, as well as being very reliant on other people’s perceptions of him to define his own self-image (low fe)

dan: esfj (fe si ne ti)

dan’s top priority, over everything else, is her team. she wants her team to improve, she wants her team to win, she wants her team to work together. it’s all about the collective. we also see that she’s very open with others and makes a lot of effort to both make new ties and maintain old ones, that’s high fe. she’s sentimental and attached to the past too (si) esp the photo wall, but we also see her very unwilling to let go of the past ie the monsters but eventually willing to change and grow to mend team cohesion (ne). we also see the fight in underlying logic (low ti) with her: she knows the team needs the monsters to cooperate but she cant figure out how to do it

matt: enfj (fe ni se ti)

so enfj’s experience infj hyper-empathy too, but to a slightly lesser extent (primary fe is more group cohesion, secondary fe is more understanding others), and through this we see matt’s easy-going open friendliness and ability to befriend even prickly little neil, because he has an extremely good sense of what other people are feeling and need, it also explains why he doesn’t hold a grudge against the cousins in the same way dan does, because he understands where they were coming from. se is associated with a general boisterousness for life, as it’s about experiencing the world around you, which explains matt’s happy-go-lucky disposition and puppydog behavior. the ti aspects mostly go into supporting fe/ni empathic senses

allison: entj (te ni se fi)

i mean, allison’s controlling, both in that she orders other people around and in that her physical being and space are very planned and organized (her clothes, her hair, her makeup, etc) but at the same time there isn’t much sentimentality to her, like how she doesn’t care when her car was destroyed. she easily replaces things because she cares about the object’s purpose, not its history and that all smacks of high te/ni. and i mean, the se definitely contributes to her love of designer things and killer looks, because she cares about the world immediately around her, and why live if not in luxury? and fi? is there any character more aggressively self-confident than allison reynolds?? going against her parents’ wishes for her takes a really strong, independent sense of self, but we also see the problems that can come from not worrying about other people, in how she starts fights and can be abrasive and catty

renee: infp (fi ne si te)

okay this one was really hard tbh. a list of other considerations: isfp, istp, and infj. it’s very easy to read renee as high fe because she’s kind, but i think it’s a mischaracteration of why she’s kind. it’s not because it comes naturally to her, it’s because it’s a conscious choice that makes her feel better about herself. high fi people often read as fe because they’re so comfortable with themselves and in tune with their own needs that they can then go and provide for others. i associate her religion with ne, because contemplation and acceptance of the divine later in life is a very metaphysical undertaking that undoubtedly requires a lot of abstract thought. renee’s storyline also revolves a lot around using things from her past and putting a conscious effort into leaving things from her past behind (how she still uses the skills she learned from her past in new ways ie sparring with andrew and protecting the upperclassmen v/s how she held on to her knives even when she knew it was detrimental to her moving on) this sounds like si. her protective instincts also feed into the te need for order, but it’s a looser leash than say andrew, as it’s lower on her function stack but still present

nicky: esfp (se fi te ni)

godd nicky is like a prototypical esfp. i mean nicholas “sex, drugs, and parties” hemmick cant be anything but se dominant. nicky is all about living it up and living in the moment. like he’s sporadic and ive seen it lead people to think he could be enfp but he doesn’t think enough about the meaning of things to be ne dominant (like how he makes somewhat predatory jokes and such, he’s all about the here-and-now while ne is about the past and future simultaneously). also he of all characters has incredibly prominent fi, as his whole character is about living unashamedly as himself as a gay man and the immense self-awareness and inner strength it takes not only to come out to unaccepting parents but also to leave and start a new life when they rejected him. however, fi is also indicative of his communication problems with his family, as he’s unable to tell that the cousins are fundamentally different from him in their needs and boundaries, leading him to pushing them, making them uncomfortable, and being unable to help them, because he’s unable to understand them. the rest are much more hidden, but a party boy shopaholic like nicky would probably need some amount of te order in like an organized chaos fashion (and he’s often headcanoned as liking to throw parties) and you do see him become somewhat pushy, even controlling in those scenarios. ni is the hardest but could maybe be seen in how he’s attuned to the cousins reactions for all that he cant predict them/doesn’t do anything on his own part to prevent them (the way he handles andrew is like if someone poked a rattlesnake knowing damn well what it would do and then freaked out when he got bit)

aaron: istj (si te fi ne)

im a little iffy on this one and worry it might be an analysis based on his trauma instead of complimentary to it, but aaron’s arc is about breaking out of his habit of holding on to the past. he refuses to work towards moving on from his mother’s death, refuses to listen to things that contradict his preconceived notions, and refuses to make changes in his life that could improve it. that’s unhealthy si. he’s really a very unhealthy istj, and most of his traits manifest through his unhappiness with his life. take his te. that would imply that he needs control over his surroundings, but aaron is incredibly bitter and unhappy BECAUSE he doesn’t have control of his surroundings. he doesn’t get to make his own choices, he doesn’t get to control his space, and he hates it. his relationship with katelyn is also indicative of being an istj. it’s stable, not a passionate fling, but aaron is mocked for wanting that white picket fence, married with kids in the suburbs kind of life, and his relationship, which is his primary source of happiness, is built on stability, which is a very si thing to do. in terms of fi, it is aaron that ultimately forces change between himself and andrew. he may have been pushed but he ultimately came down to him knowing what made him happy and what made him miserable and acting on that. also, he’s an ornery asshole who clearly doesn’t care what other people think of him. fi. i dont really have anything to say in terms of ne, probably because he’s so unhealthy but also because he’s not too explored. heyy istj’s make great doctors

wymack: isfj (si fe ti ne)

okay this one was genuinely the hardest to decide on but ultimately i came to the conclusion that wymack, much like renee, is such a developed person that he loses many defining traits of the functions, and can be read in many different ways. so: wymack’s primary goal is the safety and betterment of other people (ie his team). he wants to help people overcome their pasts, which is a very atypical approach to si, but is si nonetheless. on a personal level, too, he’s never able to move on from people, and specifically never moved on from kayleigh, continuing their shared dream of an exy team for abused kids long after her death. as ive said before, fe in a secondary position is about deep understanding of other people, and wymack’s ability to understand what other people are struggling through is legendary. the ti mostly serves as support to the fe, serving as the analytical backup in allowing him to understand others. as for ne: he is most definitely an innovator with unusual ideas, or the foxes wouldn’t exist

riko: estp (se ti fe ni)

riko is basically what happens when an estp goes bad down to the core. he’s obsessed with personal glory and immediate self-fulfillment (se) he has no impulse control or fear of consequences. interestingly, high se is often associated with athleticism, because high se people are intensly focused on their surroundings (exy). his ti is also super unhealthy as he gets obsessed with ideas that dont really work with objective reality, like his obsession with ownership and power dynamics despite them not actually being efficient, even backwards. the tertiary fe he uses to manipulate. he doesn’t empathize with others, but he can tell their emotional state and what’s important to them, and uses it to coerce them and destroy their sense of self, like how he knew he could get neil to the nest by threatening andrew. EDIT: /additionally, fe people especially in the lower half of the function stack tend to derive their sense of self from the perceptions of others around them, which riko very much shows in how he needs to be acknowledged as the best and won’t allow any competition for his title, as well as his desperation for acknowledgement from his family/. finally, that ni allowed him to keep multiple plans in place focused on one ultimate goal: getting kevin back. the sheer amount of schemes he sets up in order to fool and push people the way he wants is honestly kinda impressive, but he’s a toxic shithead and im glad he’s rotting. definitely not representative of all estp’s

this is honestly SO funny to read back a few years later bc HOOOOO boy was i way too into this stuff. and this was written a couple years after my Peak MBTI Obsession, which was honestly scary

#txt #the foxes #dan wilds #kevin day #andrew minyard #matt boyd #aaron minyard #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #renee walker #neil josten #wymack #riko moriyama #my posts #im talkin #ask #anon #anonymous

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theravencawsatmidnight · 4 years

Text

Pink Chains Sequel

The oldest. Male, twin. Souta.(Means A sudden wind or sound)

The middle. Male. Twin. Kaito. (Means sea or ocean)

Youngest. Female. Kana. (Means powerful)

@galagcica @squeaky-ducky @kozushiki @haikyuu-but-low-iq @lunebabie @derpeedoo @kayisweird @zopzoop

“We do now!!!!” You told him, rubbing your stomach

“Swee..sweetie are you serious?” He climbed over the desk grabbing you and pulling you between his legs.

“Yep!!! Surprise Kyo!!!”

He was a little shocked for a few minutes, you were telling him how excited you were but he could not register it. A kid, not one but three. Will they be like him? Scary? Will they think hes scary?!?

“Kyo?” You lightly tugged his shirt so he would look at you. “Kyo whats wrong?”

He squeezed you sighing deep. “Im nervous sweetie thats all.”

You laid your head on his chest. “Well.. i am too . But! I have you to help and you have me. Not to mention all your friends. “ you took his ring hand to hold it and nuzzled his sleeve. “I love you, we will be fine Kyo.”

Kyo took in a deep breath and kissed your head. “Yeah, we will. I love you so much sweetie.”

It was an interesting nine months for everyone. Kyo had gotten his friends together for beach volleyball one night , you were there too but you were sitting with a sundress on looking excited.

“Soo...” Iwaizumi said, rubbing his head. “Whats this about?”

Oikawa and Mattsun were stumped too, so was Yahaba. Bokuto was trying to piece it together as well.

You got up and turned to the side and Kyo put his hand on your stomach. “Well... lets just hope you can deal with more of me”

Safe to say Kyo got tackled into the sand by everyone.

Time Skip to the kids being 7.

💕Kyo and Reader still live in his home. Iwaizumi does too since he owns the basement half of the house.

💕Chicken Legs had trouble adjusting to the children but Readers cats have helped relax and calm him. He's not so shaky anymore.

💕King is the kids number one fan. He is always there to help them with a prank on their father or to help them up and down the stairs.

💕Rex gets brushed every five minutes and he *loves it*. Kana also likes putting ribbons on his tail.

💕Mango is carried around everywhere by Kaito because he is small and “fun to carry”

💕The twins get up to no good alot. Souta is like the wind, no one ever knows if he's gonna do something. Kaito is more calm, like the ocean . But just like his brother, he's right there to lend a hand in mischief

💕Kana is attached to Kyo and Readers hip nearly 24/7 because she is scared of everything. She was tiny at birth. A “runt of the litter” Kyo called it, which gave her the nickname “Kana Pup” by Kyo. Everything is bigger than her and she doesn't like it. She's scared of Oikawa and it makes him sad.

💕Kyo and Reader own a bigger building together that they turned into The Dog House. They sell apparel but with Readers designs now too. The kids hangout at the shop usually after school.

💕The building has an upper floor or office area where Reader works on new designs / manages the finances while Kyo works the floor.

💕Souta and Kaito spend their days greeting customers and telling them specials (as best they can) . If Kana is not with her mother she is with Kyo at the register coloring under the desk so no one can see her.

💕kyo does not know what to do about Kana, he's worried she won't have friends and isolate herself. Iwaizumi suggests a hobby or club for middle school and Oikawa suggests volleyball.

💕its at the beach Kana realizes how fun volleyball is. She even lets Oikawa show her how to play.

💕Mattsun still has his tattoo shop. Kyo now has a back piece too. It's three wolf pups .

💕Kana joins the volleyball club

💕the twins join an art club and it is very interesting to them . Souta & Kaito are naturals at coming up with designs

💕iwaizumi babysits when Kyo and reader need alone time at the house

💕every now and then Kyo will check in on his kids at night, he leans on the wall of the door just watching them sleep. It's been a few years since they were born and he's still dumbfounded he could make such blessings

💕Kanas first game is a little rocky, she's nervous about people watching her. That is until Bokuto yells for the stands ‘all eyes on you because you are the star of this court!!!’ . She pulls through and turns out she spikes just like her father. They win because of her. Reader cries tears of joy and the twins are going nuts , Kyo pulls reader close kissing her

💕The twins debut a simple design. It's a crow with its wings out with a chain collar on its neck. Their parents love it.

Time skip to HighSchool

💕The kids go to Karasuno

💕The twins are in a design/business club

💕Kana is the wing spiker of her team. She is tall like her father and brings her team to Nationals.

💕Mattsun has a pretty little happy girl come into his shop one day asking for a fluffy kitty tattoo . Mattsun thanks god this is happening and gets her number

💕Oikawa & Iwaizumi still work at the Dog House. Oikawa now has the same volleyball tattoo his friends have. Iwaizumi helps the twins bring their designs up to sell online

After High School.

💕Kana plays for the Black Jackals. The twins have a successful online business selling their designs on different things.

💕Kyo and Reader have expanded the Dog House and it has more locations now.

💕Every friday night they spend their time laying on Kyos car with music on watching the stars in their backyard.

The end 💕

Little bonus mini drabbles!!

“raaaa!!!!!” Yelled Kaito

“Aaaarrgg!!!!” Yelled Souta.

Kana had her ears covered and had Chicken Legs laying down next to her with his paw over his eyes. She was sitting on the floor coloring in her book when her siblings rushed down the stairs with toilet paper and heavy eye makeup on their face and body. King, Rex and Mango were close behind with equal amounts of toilet paper on them too. This was a regular saturday...

Iwaizumi was on the couch watching these terrors run around the house . He pat Kana on the head counting quietly. “And 5...4...3...2...1...” The garage door could be heard and the twins and dogs stopped. Heavy steps and giggling were getting closer.

“Kaito.”

“Yes Souta?”

“It appears we are going to die today”

“Yes i believe so.”

Kana peaked at Iwaizumi and he just gave her that smile that made her get red in the face. The door opened and you and Kyo saw your kids covered in toilet paper and makeup. The dogs too. Kyo rubbed between his eyes and you giggled going over to Kana who was holding her arms up to you.

“Souta?”

“Yes Kaito?”

“It was nice knowing you.”

“Likewise”

(Whenever Kyo asks Iwai why he allows this he just shrugs and says “hey they aint my kids 😋”)

*💕

Kyo had picked the kids up from school and went straight into work. No one minded that the kids were there, they behaved. Mostly.

“Welcome to The Dog House!!!” Yelled the twins“The finest dogs and the biggest house!!! At your service!!!!”

Youd never seen so many metal heads giggle and chuckle like little kids before. Kana though, was under the register coloring and leaning on her fathers leg. Kyo leaned on the register looking down at his daughter.

“Kana pup”

“Papa..?” She asked, looking up, brushing her hair from her face.

“Do you wanna greet customers with your brothers?

She shrugged pulling the book closer. “N-no..”

He rolled his shoulders looking back up to see his friends frowning at him.

“Maybe a club will help”

“Or volleyball!!!”

*💕

The twins were running around the beach with Mattsun chasing them , Kyo, Iwa, and Kawa were tossing the ball to each other. And you were sitting on a towel under an umbrella with Kana clinging to your arm. You had noticed she was fixed on what her father was doing and you signaled to get his attention and pointed at yoir daughter.

“Kana pup.” He said, catching the ball. “Cmere for a second.”

She shook her head and you rubbed her side.”just for a second baby.”

Kana gets up joining her father and he crouches down behind her. “Put your fists together , be still okay?”

“ dont.. wanna get hit..”

“You wont i promise.” He nodded to Iwaizumi and he lightly tossed the ball to Kana . “Now just move your wrist down. Then connect with the ball semding it up”

As soon as the ball hit her wrists she whined turning around to hug her father. “Kana, look.” He turned her head . The ball was in the air . “You did it.”

“I.. i hit it.”

“Maybe Oikawa can explain better.” He said, getting up and Oikawa crouched down next to her. Kana whined giving him a scared look and he just held his hands out to recieve the ball.

“Its easy, promise!” The ball bounced off his wrists.

After a few tries Kana got the positioning right and even asked Oikawa to help and show her more.

*💕

One night Mattsun is at his shop filling in his laptop with appointments, transactions, bills. Its late, maybe almost 10. He liked to stay open when he had late nights like this. No one ever came by but.. it made him hope someone would. Mattsun was covered head to toe in tattoos. The bell dinged and he looked up from his desk and fell forward.

It was a girl; pink shoes, dyed highlighted pink hair, a white belly top and shorts. “Hey Mr!!!! Can i get a tattoo please?! A fluffy kitty or kitten? Do you do those? “

Mattsun smiled up at his ceiling . “Whoevers watching , thank you.”

He looked back over at the huffy girl. “Yeah i can do that Kitty, let me get a sketch going and you can tell me what you think.” He said with a very big smile. “Whats your name?” He asked , going around his desk to his wheely chair .

“Y/n!! “ the girl skipped over sitting in the chair criss cross. “Can you do it here?” She pointed to her inner thigh .

Mattsun thanked whoever was watching over him again but in his head. “I sure can y/n. I sure can.”

“No no!! Kitty!! I like it.”

Mattsun had a silly grin on his face now. “Okay kitty”

*💕

Its late at night and the only one up is Kyo. He was leaning on the wall watching his kids, ‘how did i get here?’ He asked himself while eyeing his bruised knuckles. Slowly he looked up. “I love you guys so much...”

“And i love you.” He heard behind him. A giggle too.

#kyotani 💕#kyotani x reader #kyotani headcanons #pink chains

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platonic-prompts · 3 years

Text

Okay, time for your daily dose of wattpad drama

There was a person who dropped a random spoiler into my comment section. It had nothing to do with the book or fandom. It was a random, unprompted spoiler with the name of the show attached to it. So I was like ‘hey, you know that’s a spoiler right”

And they said yes lol

You do realize you just could have spoiled a show I wanted to watch, right?

“What’s the big deal spoilers are inevitable? Several plot points for the shown are all over articles---” Etc

Anyway, this went on for a while, since I was trying to convince them it was a crappy thing to do, since I have my comments on so I can reply to questions about the story. If they had said, oh, sorry, that would’ve been the end of it.

But no, no, that couldnt be the end of it. Time went on, and they twisted my words “Go ahead, call me an asshole to my face. I dont care”

Even though I never once called them that, instead referring to a kid I went to school with who spoiled endgame because he’s an asshole. More comments, and more of them acting like they’re not at fault, that people ‘don’t mind spoilers because they enjoy the shows more’ and ‘i didn’t know you watch the show’

I don’t but I was planning to and you spoiled a big plot point.

Anyway, time skip to this morning because I muted them and deleted the comments last night so I wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore. Now this is where the drama comes in. This person has a habit of, if they mute me i make a post about it.

Samples include: This person just came at me all posh and whatever cause I called their portrayal of Zoë Nightshade OOC. She was also OOC for no reason whatsoever. I get it if she's like that because of some background story or smt but not without reason. It just seems like a bad writer to me and they're just coming up with excuses.

So…aparrently I offended someone because of something petty. This Wattpad user muted me cause I did something they didn't like (pretty sure they're a 'she' cause her profile description said 'lesbian' but I'm not assuming). I was reading one of their books and saw something interesting that wasn't canon. Something about demigods having golden specks in their blood. I was confused and curious. So naturally, I asked a question. Then this user who took people questioning them to a whole new level, muted me! (In referral to a person who has stated that they don’t like it when people do so and to please refrain from doing so)

And there’s also another one, but they drop the username of a twelve year old because they muted them for calling what they do annoying. But I’m not showing that one because again, child.

How does this factor in? Well, my dear dear children

Lmao this person petty af. They muted me after I ACCIDENTALLY spoiled something that I didn't even consider as a spoiler since the fanfic was unrelated to what I was talking about. I felt no need to apologise because of this and they acting to serious like I've commited a crime. Just get over it. There are worse problems to deal with than spoilers. Why so triggered?

I was replying back with no emotion whatsoever. It's hilarious at how angry they are and how long their comments were. I didn't even bother reading them.

Let’s break this down piece by piece. It is not an accidental spoiler when you drop a major plot point into an unrelated piece of media along with the name of what its from. They admitted that they put the name in there because people might not understand it, but the people who wouldn’t understand it would be people who haven’t seen the show or aren’t up to that part yet.

The equivalent to this would be going to a random BnHA fanfic on Ao3 and saying *SPOILER FOR THE BARTIMEUS TRILOGY* I just finished reading Bartimaus being forced out of Nathaniel’s mind so he wouldn’t die too, In Ptolomy’s Gate! and then the (girl’s name) summons him at the end and it was so sad.

*SPOILER OVER*

Even if it was an accidental spoiler, which highly highly doubt considering they showed no surprise at it being a spoiler and literally said yes lol, it’s still a crappy thing to do.

Next point: IT”S STILL A SPOILER EVEN IF ITS NOT RELATED TO THE FANFIC

Next: No need to apologize. Really? I straight up said I was planning to watch the the show and that I had avoided spoilers for years so I could watch it blind. And then they proceed to say ‘I didn’t know you watched the show” which again, i have not and now never will because my enjoyment of closely serialized shows hinges on not knowing what happens next. Soap operas are boring for me, and downright cringe worthy because they repeat the same plot points again and again. But then when they throw in a new plot (Or victor decides to be a good grandparent) I find myself enjoying it. Only for that to be yanked away if someone were to say, oh yeah x goes to jail for murder and then y breaks them out and they go live on an island somewhere.

Also their reason for not apologizing is because people are still mad at you afterwards, also that it doesn’t change anything, but I share that so first part only. People are no obligated to forgive you just because you apologize. Sorry doesn’t wipe away their emotions and free will. Even if you don’t mean it sorry shows that you recognize you did something wrong. (Although I fall into a pit where my sincere apologies seem insincere which is not fun for me)

Next: As for why I kept replying to them. Because they were acting like they did nothing wrong and pushed the blame onto me. I wasn’t acting like it was a crime, I was saying it was a crappy thing to do and maybe dont do it because you can ruin a piece of media for something. But oh no, now I’m triggered I guess. I guess having concern for other peoples enjoyment is a crime now, take me away officer.

Next point: So, if they didn’t bother reading my comments, how did they know I was ‘angry’ Oh, I know. Because they assumed I was getting upset after they shoved words in my mouth. I don’t really get angry. Upset, sure, but not really angry. And even better? Those long comments? less than 1000 characters. Characters, not words. Just because I’m trying to point out that they did something crappy, I’m an angry person. Also???? Replying with no emotion. No they weren’t. I get that tone doesn’t translate in text, but by god they were one of the most combatant and defensive people I’ve seen on wattpad.

Since I can’t see the activity that led to the other things on their message board i can’t say what happened there, but based off of my own experience with them, I’m assuming they’ve twisted the narrative to suit their own needs. Which by the way, can be insanely damaging

I’ve had enough interaction on my account with people, and enough A/Ns for people to get the general vibe i give off, so this probably won’t be much of a problem for me. But if they had dropped my username and I had like 10 followers? It’s a lot easier to trash a reputation than it is to build on. “Oh hey, I like a book by this person” “that persons a jerk didn’t you see that one post”

People fall into a false sense of security that wattpad is sunshine and rainbows because its mostly young teens on it, but there are plenty of jerks who will twist your words and reactions to fit their needs.

Sorry for the long post, but I can’t reply to the message on their message board unless I want to implicate myself with either of my accounts. So you get this because otherwise my side of things is unknown to the world.

#not a prompt #long post

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hisakata-resutomoshibi · 4 years

Note

Not to bother you, but I've been wondering what would happen next in that Inner Demon! Kuro au. It randomly popped into my head and now im curious lol. I'm not asking for another chapter if you dont want to write it, I just wanna know what u think would happen next! Your ideas are amazing and I love hearing from you! 🧡

Ah, you’re so sweet! Don’t take this too seriously as I haven’t planned any of it and barely edited it LOL but here you go my dear~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, and what am I supposed to make of that?"

It was hours later, or perhaps just minutes, and Mahiru found himself staring up at the slightly damp, bug riddled ceiling of the cave. He seemed to have fallen to the ground after Kuro had released his grip; maybe he had taken too much blood? The thought froze his muscles in visceral terror and his mind in a bid to remain sane immediately rejected the idea. Either way, he did distinctly remember hearing Kuro say that he belonged to Mahiru now, or something to that effect, and really, who wanted to have a psycho like this?

"What does what means?"

Kuro's eyes popped in to view over Mahiru's face and he flinched back, bashing his head further on the cold stone. Frowning in irritation, at the pain in his skull, the situation in general, he sighed. "What do you mean you're mine?"

The bright red that had flooded through Kuro's irises hadn't faded, in fact it seemed to have almost solidified against the former blue, looking like a small pool of swirling metallic paint splashed across the sky. As he watched, entranced, Kuro grinned.

"Pretty, right?" He blinked slowly, demonstratively. "The red is a nice touch, a very easy way to identify contracts."

"Contracts?" Mahiru repeated curiously. "What- no, I mean, how did your eyes change color?"

"This is your blood, Mahiru." Kuro said matter-of-factly. "I didn't expect it to be so beautiful, to be honest. Most blood mixes in like mud. Such a disappointing shade of brown. But this!" Kuro paused, fluttering a hand in front of his face.

"This is gorgeous. We must be compatible."

"Compatible..." Mahiru echoed, laughing weakly. "Great."

"You wanted to go home. I'll take you there."

"Hold on just a second." He pushed out a hand into the scant air between them and Kuro obligingly sat back, his head cocked in innocent puzzlement. "How do you know where I live?"

"I know everything that is YOU, now."

"Again, what exactly does that mean?"

Kuro smiled wickedly, leaning forward suddenly, a blur of vitality in the dank air of the cave. "Take it literally. Anything that means something to you, makes up a part of your identity, it's mine now. And in exchange-" He gestured down at himself, "you get this, anything you could possibly want."

Startled into silence, Mahiru felt his tongue form the sardonic comment before he could think better of it. "You're quite confident." As soon as the words were out he regretted them, praying that the offense they caused wouldn't be enough to get him ripped into little pieces, but Kuro only laughed, lighter and softer than anything Mahiru had heard before.

"Of course I'm confident. Do you still not know who I am, Mahiru?" His lips curled up mischievously and he ran a graceful, delicate finger, along Mahiru's jaw. "You're a bit thick, aren't you? Ah well, no matter! You're mine as well now, no turning back." Before Mahiru had the chance to feel offended, he continued. "I knew you were special the second I saw you."

The conversation was running in circles and it was only a matter of time before Mahiru got motion sickness trying to follow it, so, trying to decide the simplest course of action, he chose, simply, to ignore it. Obviously Kuro was not who he had originally thought, the eyes, the horns, the preternatural speed, no, there was no way to fake that, he was something else entirely, but the question was, what? Mahiru glanced over to find Kuro staring at him raptly and he couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped. "Where am I supposed to hide you?"

"Is this just something that people like you can do?" Mahiru asked flatly, staring down at the tiny kitten at his feet. It turned it's wide, luminescent eyes (red like his blood, he thought) up to him and blinked. "I don't know what that means."

"You really are a demanding little one." Kuro muttered as he phased back into existence, occupying the space the cat had previously. "Of course not all of us can, it is something unique to I and a few others." He paused, seeming to think carefully before speaking. "Eight total."

There are seven others that can turn into animals?"

Kuro nodded slowly, almost regretfully. "Yes. Seven. But you don't need to worry about them."

"I'm not particularly worried." Mahiru sighed. "More like amazed." He watched for a moment as Kuro crept around his room, so cat like in his movements Mahiru almost laughed, and began to poke at several of the books piled haphazardly on his desk. "I do have a question."

As though he had been in anticipation, Kuro spun on his heel, books and exploration forgotten and a lopsided smile in place. "Yes?"

"Well, er-" Mahiru hesitated, biting his lip. "Not to be offensive or anything but, you're acting very... different now."

"Oh?"

"Uh, yeah..."

"How so?"

"Well." Mahiru glanced over, quickly looking away again when he met Kuro's amused gaze. "Well, to be blunt, you're not acting like a total nut job anymore."

"A nut job." Kuro paused, digesting the phrase for a moment. "I do not know that one either." Four rapid steps had him directly in front of Mahiru again and he grinned. "There's so much you must tell me! But before that, what is the question?"

"Why?" Mahiu blurted. "Why are you suddenly..." He trailed off and, at a loss for definition, gestured vaguely at Kuro. "Like this?"

Shrugging casually, Kuro raised a brow. "One would act differently after becoming someone else, no?"

Putting a finger to his brow in fatigued annoyance, Mahiru groaned. "No w I just know you're fucking with me."

"Not yet, I assure you." Kuro said brightly, his grin widening impossibly when Mahiru blanched. "What can I say to make you understand?" He crossed his arms, gaze traveling lazily around the room. When his eyes lit upon the chair near the door and he paused. "I took from you and so you must take from me." He glanced over, his eyes shining through the shifting blacks and whites of his hair. "Give and take, tit for tat, you are a part of me and so I must honor that change. Act according to the new blood."

Mahiru frowned, attempting to construct something realistic or even vaguely understandable from what Kuro had just said. "So, you're different because of me?"

"Precisely. Perhaps if you were less stubborn I would not be quite so composed?" Kuro laughed, just a shadow of the maniacal, wild abandon from previously and shrugged. "It's an interesting change." He raised his eyes to the ceiling, as though looking up into the sky. "Not unwelcome. Certainly different from what I am used to."

"What you're used to?" Mahiru prompted him after a moment.

"Things at the court can be unbalanced." Kuro said slowly. "And so for the most part we are... unpredictable."

Forgoing asking who exactly "we" was because he was fairly certain he didn't want to know anyway, Mahiru frowned darkly, remembering the shattered stalls and engulfing flames he had so barely escaped earlier."You seemed like a psycho."

Kuro laughed happily. "That sounds like a compliment!"

"It's not." Mahiru said flatly. "Psycho is bad." He too glanced around the small room quickly, taking in the limited space and lack of guest furniture. "So now what? I accept that you are some kind of- of- mythical creature. But I do not accept that I am stuck with you."

"Whether you accept or not is of no consequence." Kuro sang, reaching out and plucking a sweater from where it lay draped over the foot of the bed. "We have a contract." He began to twist it back and forth, inspecting it from every angle, eyes wide in puzzlement.

"About that. I didn't agree to any contract. So I don't really think it's legally binding." Mahiru crossed his arms, attempting his best impersonation of authority.

Kuro shrugged, pulling the sweater over his head, horns turning to a bright translucent fog for a moment to allow for the collar to pass over them, and smiled, something quick and genuine, and Mahiru felt his heart skip a beat. "Unfortunate for you then that the fae do not care for legality."

It was an hour later, Mahiru standing in front of the cupboard contemplating it's bare shelving, that he finally admitted to himself that he was not the best at entertaining visitors. Not even a spare loaf of bread. He slammed the door shut in frustration and glanced into the living room, finding Kuri still curled up on the couch, eyes glued to the TV. Mahiru had turned it on in desperation about forty minutes ago and Kuro had not moved since. It was currently airing some strange episodic gum commercial but judging by Kuro's expression you would have thought it was a documentary of the end of the world.

"How do they do this?" Kuro asked suddenly and Mahiru turned fully, watching as he pointed to the screen upon which was a helicopter view of the city.

"Do what?"

"Record this? Is that what you called it? It's so detailed!"

Mahiru wandered closer, unable to ignore the impulse and peered over Kuro's shoulder. "You said you were some magical being but you've never seen a TV? Where have you been all this time?"

"In the woods, mostly." Kuro answered casually. "It seems I should have ventured farther into town sooner!"

Briefly imagining the utter devastation Kuro would have wrought unchecked had he indeed entered the heart of the town Mahiru held back a shiver and shook his head. "No. No way. You are way too much trouble."

"It is not I that wishes for such destruction." Kuro said, flicking his sharp gaze up to Mahiru. "I only embody what you desire."

"You keep saying that." Mahiru muttered, looking away in discomfort. "Listen. Do you need food? Or..." He trailed off in embarrassment, completely gobsmacked that the next words were about to leave his mouth. "Or are you actually a vampire?"

"Vampire." Kuro rolled the word around for a moment and shrugged. "Call me what you will. You humans have always had such curious need to name everything. Regardless, it will not change that I simply am."

Mahiru sighed. He really was getting so tired of all this mystical bullshit. "So then, did you want to get dinner?"

Kuro froze, his shoulders going taut beneath the blanket he had huddled up in. "Dinner?" His eyes were darting from side to side as though in worry, though there was nothing but an innocuous soap opera preview on.

"Yeah? You know, we go somewhere and get food? I honestly hate the idea of bringing you in public, but I don't have anything here." Mahiru admitted, frowning. "You have to behave."

"Ah, I see." Kuro turned, fixing Mahiru with a strange look. "You need to eat then?"

"I take it, based on this conversation that you don't actually require food." Mahiru muttered sarcastically. "But yes, I'm hungry."

"Very well. Let's go." Kuro stood in one quick move, the blanket falling from his shoulders and to the couch and Mahiru flinched back a step, having completely forgotten just how tall Kuro really was. At his jerking retreat, Kuro raised a brow and a mocking smile flew across his face. "Do you truly find me so frightening?"

An immediate affirmation withered on Mahiru's tongue as he studied Kuro's expression. It was neutral and empty but somewhere, deep beneath the veneer of indifference, he thought he could see a wiggling of disappointment. He didn't know what possessed him to do what he did, or even why he would care to do so in the first place but he found himself snorting and reaching out to wrap his hand around Kuro's wrist, tugging him roughly around the back of the couch and towards the kitchen. "Of course not, idiot. What's scary about you?"

#servamp #asks #blackcat!Kuro #my writing #should I add the tag #fae!Kuro #?#ever since Kat said I can't get it out of my head #as evidenced here LOL #Mahiru Shirota #hmmm

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araisbored · 4 years

Text

Obelisk

That’s the only quirky title I could come up to make this a little bit more interesting.

I’m reviewing my favorite book again. More like making another post about it. Because I seem like the type of person to not shut up about something she truly, truly, deeply love. Though, I won’t really making a review. Because I am in no state to make one of those. I don’t know I just I’m not that qualified to that yet. Though I read millions of books, I still won’t. I re-read my last “review” and it just make me cringe because I can’t understand what I’m saying and there’s a bunch of errors on my sentence. Not that this whole post won’t containing grammar errors, but still. Also, the cringing intensifies when I saw that Jennifer Niven (the author of this book) liked my bizarrely wrong blog entry. Ms. Niven, if by any chance, reading this again, I love your work and I’m sorry for a lot of grammatical errors. Ms. Niven, your work changed my life and help me get through a rough time. Sounds cliché but its the truth.

To repeat what I typed, I won’t make a review. Yet, I’ll post a very private diary log which where I somehow discuss my opinions about this book. So here it is.

Trigger warning: Suicide topics, cutting and mental issues might come up on the next following paragraph. And it’s really graphic. Because it is a personal log on my digital diary. Beware.

May 17, 2019: Theodore’s death, Avengers: End game and GoT discussion.

I never had a proper review of this book. Because lets be real here. Its me and probably won’t matter. Last time or more like last last year, I made a book recommendation/favourites about this book. And I emphasize on that blog post that it’s not a book review. NOT A BOOK REVIEW. At all.

Because:

I am scared of the internet scrutinizing my opinions and views about this book.

It’s about mental health or part of it. So it is really a sensitive topic and I even haven’t figured myself out. So I’m not really sure if I’m the right person you want to have an opinion regarding with this topic. One thing about me is that you don’t go asking me questions on how you figured your life or how you deal with depression because, oh boy oh boy you’re in a wrong place honey.

Last night I searched Theodore Finch on twitter. Yes, twitter. Because that is where you get the real opinions. Real tea. As well as the stupid ones. And I read one thread or whatever you call it, some sort of a conversation or replies from one girl to another. (I just assumed you’re girl and I’m sorry if you’re not. I am really sorry for misgendering you.) The other girl said that she’s kind of annoyed how everyone around Theodore doesn’t get the signs when it’s literally on their faces. When you come to think of it. Its true. All the signs of Theodore’s disease was there. Bluntly on their faces. It’s kind of fascinating how it’s not noticed by his family and friends or even Violet. But again right now thinking about it, maybe because it happened when this world just slowly noticing or paying attention about mental health. Hold a second, let me search when it was published. Yeah, I'm right its 2015. A year of coming of age for the late Baby Boomers are introduced to depression and when people, mostly teenagers are committing suicide. I would be very harsh on my words because it was just me talking to myself anyways. So yeah, that's also the year where I'm cutting myself and wanted to kill myself. So no wonder Finch’s family have no idea about his mishaps and adventures. So about that discussion, it was already solved. That year was just the year where naïve people are introduced to mental health and issues. Anyways, back to that conversation. The other girl defended the book/author. That the author, Jenifer Niven, was just portraying real life happenings. That these things happens in real life. People really die because of mental health issues. By the way, Finch mental diagnosis wasn’t really mentioned on the book directly. As far as I can remember. That’s why I'm re-reading it again now. But so far zero mentioned of diagnosis or bipolarity(Is that even a word? idc.). Just the mention of him wanting to kill himself, the erotic changes in his moods, lack of appetite and being insomniac. He doesn’t sleep one night or he sleeps then have very bad nightmares after that. It’s pretty obvious but again, let’s refer to the points given above. Oh, oh! Then there’s one time he repainted his bedroom from blood red to blue. If that’s not alarming enough then idk anymore. But yes, 2015. The coming of age and the year where we birthed more stupid late boomers. But, yes. Wild book. A very wild and very BRILLIANT book. It’s the stupid characters or the people in Finch’s life that suck. Which is why I kind of sided to the girl who said that that the author doesn’t really write the characters well. Let’s call her Girl A. And the other girl who defend Niven, Girl B. I’m pretty sure you’re both girls but just in case, I’m gonna apologize again if I'm misgendering you. Or if you don’t wanna be called a girl. I can’t say or disclose that Girl B was wrong because he clearly have a point too. It happens in real life. People die from depression and I might be one soon.

Just wanna say that It’s a good discourse. Arguments like that are my favorites where both sides are not wrong nor right either, makes you really think. A read. Both the book and that twitter discourse. If you happened to read it, good. But if not sorry I can’t link it for you.

So for my opinion (oh no, here we go) I agree on both of them , as if its not yet obvious. I guess if it was written in the present days the author could’ve change the characters and made Finch alive. Or checked-in in a mental institution or he’ll be given a medical assistance he really needs. Because the only medical attention he was given was thru his Guidance councilor, Embryo. Which is a good thing, but also I think Finch’s situation needs more professional attention. No offence to all guidance councilors out there. I know you guys try your best. But you know, Niven can make Finch visit a psychiatrist in a clinic/mental institution right? Like violet. I know Finch’s financial state is bad but.. idk there’s something can be done here. But again it was during that time where people are shouting “Depression isn’t real”, stupid people posting tweets and Facebook status on how “Suicide is for the week”; they watch 13 reasons why and decided to skip the whole point of the show and just assumed that “yeah depression is for the weaklings”. It only shows how ignorant people are. They’re the kind of people who standby when you get punch on the face or laugh when people spreads rumors and lies about you. Basically, bystanders. I’m sorry I’m a little snappy. If you haven’t noticed. I don’t know I’m just mad today.

I think the book still holds it. And justify the ending. Though part of me really hate it too. But it kind of made me realized about a lot of things, not just about me but also about how I should interact with other human beings. I hate the ending because it breaks my heart but I guess it was necessary?? Or not. Any how, It was a good ending. Maybe its just me because I’m a masochist. But I can not think of any other impactful and realistic way on ending it. (Rereading this again and I just need to clear things up. That IM NOT A MURDERER OR A KILLER. I DONT NORMALIZE SUICIDE, but from a standing point the ending is justified. Its sad but its, again, realistic.) But still, breaks my heart, Theodore is a precious boy. Who deserves nothing but love. And I hope his story was more known by the people so jackasses would know how to treat their family and friends better.

[This part was cut because I talked about Avengers and GoT ending; Which is very relevant to this topic]

Love,

Ara xx

So yeah, that’s some of my diary entry. Re-reading it makes me realized how funny I am. Jesus I should read more of these. Who knows, I might post it here. If it’s not that personal. I’ll end this here now. I hope wherever you are you’re having a good day.

Ttyl, Ara!

#books #jennifer niven #All the Bright Places

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sadsongsandwaltzes · 4 years

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Thank you for taking the time to answer that, it was very helpful! I’ll try and listen to more podcasts and YouTube videos on the matter as well as prayer 🙌🏻

One more specific question I had though and probably the biggest thing I’m scared to talk about with friends anyway is lgbtq community. Before I found the lord I had a lot of friends who said they were gay or liked women and one of my girl- friends in particular I still see sometimes makes me feel like she’s flirting or is very touchy... I don’t even know where I fully stand because again, a few ‘Christians’ have said being with another woman is fine and I don’t actually feel I want to anyway but I just don’t know how to talk to her or talk about the subject in general. Sorry for blabbering on btw, I hope this makes sense !

This is a subject that is never fun to talk about. People often take personal offense to it. Mostly because they’ve staked their entire identity into their current sexuality rather than where it should be: in Christ.

It helps to clear your mind on the subject and how to articulate it when you remember there’s a difference between biblical love and worldly love. True love requires us to stand for truth. True love demands sacrifice. True love is not subject to the whims of human emotions. True love cares for the well being of your fellow man over your own. And I’m not just taking within romantic relationships. True, biblical love means that we have to have these uncomfortable conversations and lead others to Truth. We cannot be passive. Understanding what biblical love looks like amongst all humans and also specifically in marriage helps make this discussion easier.

Ultimately, our romantic relationships are a choice. And we should not enter one if it’s not within the boundaries set in the Bible. And those romantic relationships should actually be based on sacrificial love rather than the romantic love (romance is supplemental).

We are not our sexualities. We are followers of Christ. Though we can’t always help things such as who we are attracted to or our intrusive thoughts, we can control our actions and reactions.

People entering romantic relationships based entirely on their own feelings and what makes them happy are ultimately entering those relationships selfishly. Romance certainly is a drug. But as soon as those feelings waver, that’s when these types of relationships fall apart. The person no longer “feels” in love, so they stop serving and doing loving things for their partner because the relationship is no long self serving. They aren’t getting the emotional high anymore, so why continue on? It’s selfish in the truest sense of the word.

We all are born broken and with a sin nature. We all have our struggles. For someone, that may be their sexuality. But just because you “feel” something doesn’t mean it’s okay to act on it. “Feelings” dont automatically validate our actions. Imagine if someone tried to justify beating their partner based on “I felt angry.” We rightfully call those people abusers. And the argument that “anger and love aren’t comparable” doesn’t apply because, as I’ve already stated, the worldly idea of “love” is not true love.

If you stand for Truth, expect backlash. It is bound to happen. But this a subject that is very much going to force the question: do you live for Christ or for yourself? The world doesn’t like being told that they are wrong. None of us do. Our flesh desires sin. We don’t like being told to turn away from that or that we are in the wrong. It offends the flesh. I’m offended at times by the truth. I’m always being called out on my own sins and the initial reaction sometimes is offense. Sometimes I can skip the offended stage and go immediately to the sorrowful stage, but we are prideful creatures. But, as a Christian, I understand that if my thinking doesn’t align with the Bible, then I am the one who is in the wrong. So I submit and trust the Lord and follow his teachings, even if I don’t always understand the “why” right away. I just know that if the Bible says it is so, then it is so. And usually, through submission and continual prayer and conviction, those things will eventually end up making sense. But just because we may not always understand why God has commanded what He has, that doesn’t give us a pass not to follow those commands and live by His word.

When discussing this with others, you need to stand firm in what is true, but you don’t have to come in guns a blazing about hellfire. Neither should you buckle and refuse to call sin a sin. It can be difficult sometimes to find that line where you can be firm but gentle. I’m not sure how to tell you how to find it other than prayer and careful consideration.

Anyone who has told you that homosexual “marriage” is okay is very clearly living for themselves rather than Christ. They have the world, but they don’t have Christ. And Christ is what matters. So you might need to prepare yourself for not only dissent, but maybe even the loss of a friend. Always be compassionate to others, but if others require that you cave on Christ to be friends with them, then the choice is clear... even if it is painful.

I truly do wish you well and will be praying for you. This is a very rough spot to be in, trying to figure things out and stand for what is right without having the clearest understanding. I think we all as Christians have been there. Don’t ever be afraid to reach out for support!

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

Text

random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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arthurflecksgirl · 4 years

Text

Mysterious stranger /Arthur being stalked by you

This was a request by someone on Twitter :)

Arthur is being stalked by a pretty girl /YOU

I decited to write from Arthurs view and the girls view.

So it switches.

Arthur and reader

Romance

Warnings: Nothing really, mentions of mental illness,

ENJOY :) <3

ARTHUR I just woke up all sweaty in in the middle of the night one more time. My insomnia was getting bad again. I felt like it has been getting worse since mum was at the hospital. I was worried about her condition. I even forgot to take my meds yesterday, which was bad. The pills helped me to find some rest at night. Without them my mind was racing, keeping me awake. Driving me INSANE. I usually started to write in my journal when I couldnt sleep but without my medication there were just black scribbles all over the diary when I looked at the pages. The last time I was off my meds I wrote the whole night through and when I looked in my journal the next morning,there was nothing but blank pages. Nothing. So, there is a reason I shouldnt forget to take them. But too many thoughts ran through my head yesterday, I just didnt thought of anything else. First of all I thought about Penny and if I was the reason she ended up at the hospital. I felt like I am a burden to her. She always told me I was brought into the world to spread joy and laughter. But she doesnt even think i`m funny. Imagin what a disappointment I must be to her.I was born for a reason and I couldnt even fullfill my destiny. This shit really kept me awake. And some other thing... A week ago I just came home from my therapist. And when I was waiting on the tram station, there was this girl in the middle of the crowd. She just kept on staring at me like... I don`t know. She just did. And it kinda scared me.I wasnt used to peope staring at me like that. Usually I was the one observing things around me. Watching people. I always tried to observe. I need it for my jokes. The best jokes are inspired by real life actions. Stuff you see happening on the streets. I also watched people closely to understand what they are laughing about and how they react to jokes. Sometimes I sat on a table at Pogos and made little notes about what I think is important. I really wanted people to like me. I wanted be a light for them. Gotham needs some light. I wanted to be listened to and I wanted to be seen. I`ve got a lot to say but I`ve never talked to others cuz I didn`t knew how to start a conversation. So I watched and learned how others managed to do that. I realized that my timing is a bit off when I laughed at others jokes. I`m wasn`t sure why. I needed to find out. Anyway, I wasn`t used to someone staring at me. I always wished someone did and when I saw that girl I should have been happy that she saw me but I didnt knew what to do about it. I wasnt sure WHY she was looking at me the way she did. If it was for good or for bad reasons. And I guess thats what made me insecure about the whole situation. As soon as I got in the tram I kinda forgot about it but two days later I saw her again. I was standing in the pharmacy and was just about to pay, when I saw her standing outside the window. She was beautiful. There is no doubt it was the same girl. She was looking at me again. I payed and when I turned around she was gone. For a moment there I was scared it might be another episode of hallucinations. That would be really bad. But it could be. I mean... why should a pretty face like her standing there, staring at me TWICE? I`m afraid this isnt really happening. Dr Kane said I should watch out for more hallucinations, especially about girls. So I will.

YOU This city made me sick. It`s beent two weeks since I moved here and already hated it here. It was grey, it smelled and people were rude. I didnt wanted to become one of the peole here. It seemed like it was a bad desicion to move here in the first place, but I couldnt afford to pay rent anymore, so I ended up here, in this really bad neighborhood. I felt like I screwed up my life. Sleep was something I barely remembered. Every night I was lying awake, afraid of someone might brak into my apartment. Like I said... bad neighborhood.You couldnt trust anyone here. A week ago I got so nerveous while trying to sleep that I got up, made some tea and watched out the window. Even at night people walked down the streets, mostly homeless guys. It was one ugly, rainy, cold night. I sipped on my tea and watched the raindrops falling on the dark pavement. Like the whole city was crying out loud. I burned my tongue on the hot cup . I swear I saw someone standing in the window across the street. But it was no one there. Oh great, I thought. Two weeks here in Anderson avenue and you already start to see shadowns at night. But then I saw it again. It wasnt a shadow. It was a man standing in his kitchen, smoking a cigarette. Oh, just a neighbor, no shadows. Good. I realized that I could see most of the kitchen, his curtains were kinda see though. He turned around so I could see his profile. He had almost shoulder long, bown hair, slightly curly, a beautiful jawline and high cheekbones. I could tell from the distance that he was indeed very beautiful. I turnedmy light off to make sure he couldnt see me standing at the window, looking into his. But he didnt looked out the window anyway. It looked like he was talking to someone, but as far as I could tell he was the only one in the room. I watched him puttig down his cigarette as he took off his dark red sweater. I didnt expected him to be this thin. It seemed like he stopped talking and suddenly he started to raise his hands above his head, moving gracefully. He was dancing all alone by himself. In his kitchen. I couldnt help but staring at him and started to feel kinda bad for watching this behind my curtain. But something about him was just so insanly attractive. i stared at his fragile chest, his bony ribs, his messy bed hair. I guess he couldn`t find sleep, just like me. I wondered if he was sleepwalking. The way he moved was extraordinary. Suddenly he stopped. I almost got scared because I was so drawn to his dance moves, it seemed so unnatural to just stop. I took a step back from my window because he came a step closer to his. But he just leaned over the sink now. It looked like he was crying. Something about this hurted my heart. I didnt even knew him but I couldnt help but feeling empathy for this beautiful, fragile man across the street, He was crying harder now. I felt my eyes watering as he slapped his own face. Why would he do that? Then he watched out the window. I was hiding in the corner of my room so fast I guess my curtains moved. I hope he didnt caught me staring. My heart was racing. Was he still there? I waited two minutes till I watched out the window again. He was gone.

ARTHUR I decited to go through the pages again I had written a week ago. I have to figure out why I remembered writing something that wasnt there in the morning. I skipped though the paged and stopped at a page that didnt even looked familir to me. Little drawings of catladies smoking cigs. i don`t remenber drawing this and start to read. "Insomnia is choking me again. It wrappes its strong arms around my neck, smothering me to death. At least thats how it feels while lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. So last night I wandered around the apartment for at least two hours straight. I smoked two packs of cigs as the music started playing in my head again. There is always music in my head, well, most of the time. Sometimes it gets so loud I can`t ignore it anymore. Its just floathing althrough my body, like energy. It holds me in its warm arms and I have to obey. It wanted me to dance again last night, so I moved around the kitchen to the music and it was so tragically beautiful in between the movements it made me do, that it almost started to hurt my body. So I stopped and wished for the sound to stop but it didnt and I just stood there and started to cry. Watching my tears falling into the kitchen sink, like the rain outside. The music still playing in my head. I slapped my face. Hard. Still noisy. I watched out the window. Gotham was crying, too. The city was just as depressed as I was. I swear I could see a shadow in the window across the street. But thats impossible. The neighbors there moved out some weeks ago. Must be my visions again."

YOU I couldnt stop thinking about the man across the street since I saw him. I watched out the window for so many times but I didnt got to see him for about thee days. But then I saw him crossing the street as I was just about to go buy some food. I know it wasnt the right thing to do but I followed him. I just needed to see him closer. I kept my distance so he won`t notice me. He was walking like someone that just got beaten up, his thin body hidden behind a brown sweater , and a jacket that looked way too huge on his small shoulders. He kept looking to the ground, his brown curls hanging sweaty upon his forehead. Even though his body language looked sad, he still managed to be extremly attractive to me. He was walking to the tram station and waited on his tram to arrive as I tried to be just a face in the crowsd, so I could take a closer look at him. I passed some people standing in the way until I found the right spot. There he was. Just about some foots away from me.And suddenly, as I was staring, he was looking right at me. God, I felt like my heart just sopped. Never ever have I seen more beautiful eyes in my life. So intense, piercing right though me, green but so very sad. I dont know if it was just my mind playing tricks on me but i felt like he caught me staring. I wanted to turn around and leave imediately but his tram arrived and he got in there before I could even react. At night his pretty face appeared in my mind. Againa nd again. I just couldnt get him out of my head.I was closing my eyes, and caught myself dreaming about kissing him. I laughed at myself. Silly girl ! Dreaming about the mysterious new neighbor was such a clishe. But it wouldnt help. I still wanted to get to know him. there was something so mysterious about him. His little dance in the kitchen. The crying at the sink.... his eyes! I thought about ways to just talk to him, I mean we were neigbors, right? I could find a reason to just go to him and say something. But nothing came to my mind. So I decited to follow him one more time. Maybe he would just ran into me and we would talk. Two days later I saw him leaving the house again, so I threw a jacket over my shoulder and got downstairs in a hurry. This time there weren`t much people around so it was even harder for me to follow him without getting caught. Something about watching him started to turn me on.It was fun to fantasize about someone who didnt even knew you existed. But at the same time I wanted him to know that I exist. Maybe not yet but... He went to the pharmacy. I stopped outside. I thought about going in and pretend I wanted to buy something. But I forgot my purse so this would have been embarrassing. I saw him from behind, his blue pants looked baggy on him. Everything did. And just when I thought this was a good situation to stalk him, he turned around again and I knew he saw me. He looked me right into my eyes! I captured the moment he looked at me in my mind and tought about it in the afternoon, when I was lying in my bed, dreaming about touching his beautiful face. Soon he became my fave fantasie. I couldnt even find pleasure in any other daydream anymore. He was my sexy secret and I liked it that way. But I just knew that soon this wouldnt be enough. I had to get closer. I wanted him to see me. Not just from across the street. I wanted to get to know him as a person. I needed to know his story, I needed to know why he was so sad.

ARTHUR I just couldnt figure out my very own diary anymore. Something definitaly went wrong at the moment. I guess all the lonelyness got too much. I mean, I must have been used to this but i wasnt. It got harder every day of my life. I wished for someone to love me so much that I had visions about girls. I tend to get them a lot but then it stopped for a while and now it seemed to start again. I was kinda worried about my condition and took two more pills today. I knew I shouldnt but I thought it would be better than forgetting to take them again. The slight overdose made me sweat a lot so I was in underwear only for the whole day, just lying on the coouch, watching all my fave episodes of teh Murray Franklin show. The only thing that made me stay up was going to the kitchen to make some coffe. I watched out the window while waiting for the water to bowl. There she was again. the girls I saw at the tram stationa nd at the pharmacy. She was crossing the street. I checked my forehead for fever. I was burning up. Must be the overdose. "She`s not really there" I whispered to myself "Arthur, she`s not real, don`t even look". But I looked. And I could swear she was looking up my window before she headed to my house. I blushed. But I guess that was also caused by the fever. God, she looked like an angel. Such a sweet girl. She would never even give me a look in real life. I knew that. And if she did... I wouldn´t even know what to do. I`ve never been with a woman before in my whole life. I never even kissed someone before. I`m just a loner. All I have are my fantasies. And Dr Kane wants to take them away from me,too. Maybe I should just give in and accept them. What if it wasnt a hallucination this time? What if this girl really saw me? What if?

You I did it. I wrote him a postcard. I held the card in my hands for like an hour and stared at it. I thought I wasnt brave enough to actually throw it in his letter box. But I did.I sneaked into the house and when I was standing in front of the letter boxes I wondered which one could be his. Thank god some lady just got out of the elevator and I asked her which letter box belongs to the window with the thin curtain. And she told me that they belong to apartment 8J. It just took me about some seconds to find the right box. P. FLECK. There it was. FLECK. I threw my postcard in without giving it a second thought, otherwise I would have changed my mind. I was heading back home, blushing.

ARTHUR I woke up with a bad headache. Another appointment with Dr. Kane. I wanted to take a bath but I was too lazy and decited to let it be. I just brushed my hair back, lighted a cig and went out the house. I checked the letter box and hoped for a letter from Thomas Wayne, I mean, I knew there wouldnt be one but it would make my mother happy so I still hoped for it. Somehow she was obsessed with Wayne and I didnt even knew why. My heart just skipped a beat as I saw an hand written postcard. Wayne? I started reading it. "Dear mysetrious stranger, You don`t know who I am but I saw you out on the streets some days ago and I think I fell in love with you. I even dreamed about you at night. I really hope you`re doing fine. Kisses The girl who loves you"

I just kept staring at the letters. I rubbed my eyes. the letters were still there. The girl who loves you. I must have blushed. Was this real? I let my fingers slide over the paper. It felt real. I turned the card around. A plain red heart on white background. I touched it so many times and hoped for a proof that this was eighter real or a dream. Sometimes I am not sure anymore. Who would ever send me a card? I searched for a stamp. None. Someone must have threw it in the letter boy by themself. The girl ! The girl I saw on the street. Now it all made sense to me. Was she following me? I smiled. The thought of this pretty girl having a crush on me was wonderful. But I got scared at the same time. I could never get up and talk to her. How could I? I bet she thinks I am some sexy guy who knows how to get it on. She was dreaming about me? What dreams? I imagined her touching herself while thinking about me and I giggled to myself. "Nahh she wouldnt do that" I said to myself. Reading the postcard again "Or would you, sweet strange girl?" I put the postcard close to my heart. Her fingers must have touched the paper all over when she was writing me these lines. Does she want to touchme with those fingers? Oh I would love to touch her fingers. But what if she ever comes up to me personally and I would just stand there, frozen. Not a word coming out of my mouth? The thought of this scared me a lot. My biggest fear was to laugh in her presence.The laugh that wasnt really one. My condition. That would scare her away for sure. I felt my eyes watering and a tear fell on the postcard, right on the word "kisses". It smeared, which made me even sadder. I needed this card to be perfect. I felt the urge to laugh coming up my throath. But then something else came to my mind. What if I showed the card to Dr. Kane? She could proof to me that this card truly exists. The urge to laugh was gone. I put the card into my paper bag and hurried up to see Dr. Kane.

"Hello, Arthur. How have you been thoughthe last week? Any negative thoughts?" Dr Kane was repeating her same old questions again as I smoked my cig. Next thing would be asking me about my journal. BUT I would have something much more interesting with me this time. "I brought something with me today" I said as I grabbed the card. "I wondered if you could take a look and tell me what you think about this?" Dr Kane took the card out of my hands. She read it. "Who gave it to you, Arthur?" "The girl who loves me" Dr Kane gave me that look "Arhur..." "Well... it says `The girl who loves you ` there at the end, right? "Right" "So, you see it too?" "Sure, Arthur" She gives me the card back. I smiled. It was real. The card was real. Which meant the girl was real,too. No hallucinations. No visions. "Good" "So someone send it to you?" "I found it in my letter box, it has no stamp" "No stamp? Are you sure you didnt wrote it yourself?" she looked confused. I bet she couldnt imagin someone falling in love me me eighter. "Dr Kane, you know how my handwriting looks like." "Right. Can I see it again?" I gave her the card back. Her eyes are focused on it. "No typos" she whispered to herself. "Looks like someone really likes you, Arthur. Be careful" "W-what do you mean?" "You know that you sometimes... well... you tend to lose sense of reality sometimes. It could be difficult to meet up with a girl for you". I put the card back in my bag. "You think I couldnt handle it to have a girlfriend?" "Thats not what I said..." "It is exactly what you said" I got up and left the room. "See you next week, Dr Kane. I cant do this today" I got back home and placed the card under my pillow. I wanted to sleep on it. It was the first love note I ever got and felt so special. I grabbed my Pjs out of my wardrobe and looked at the red suit hanging in there. I never put it on by now. I always felt like it is waiting for a special event in my life. But nothing special ever happens. Until now. The card. the love note. The girl. I grab the suit and walk to the mirror. Holding it in front of my body to see how it would look like on me. I felt so insecure when thinking about dating a girl. I didnt knew how to react in front of her. Maybe the suit would help? I shook my head. Nahh. Just a stupid thought. Back in bed I imagined how it would be to have a girlfriend. To go out on dates with her, walking hand in hand across the streets. I bet Gotham wouldnt be half as bad as if its now. Sharing my life with someone. My bed. Having someone to cuddle with at night. Someone to calm down my bouncing leg. Someone to have sex with, It would be sweet. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

YOU Its been a day since I threw the card in the letter box. No answer. Of course not. He didnt even knew who I was. I watched out the window and hoped to see him in his apartment again. I got lucky this time. I saw him lying on the couch watching tv. He wora a cosy PJ and looked so cute in it. Still sexy though. I could eat him up. I wish I could just go over, knock on his door and tell him that i am the girl who send him the card. I wonder if he even got it yet. maybe he didnt open the letter box since then. I saw him smoking, writing down some notes. I tried to see more details of the living room. There was a clown mask and a costume hanging beside a mirror. It seemed like he had a thing for clowns, which made me think. maybe I`ll have a lil surprise for him... I searched through my stuff and found the big, red flower that used to be part of a Clown outfit I was wearing years ago when I dressed up with my best friends. It looked brand new. Maybe he would like it. I put a little note on it and decited to put it in front of his door. Tomorrow. I couldn`t wait. The next morning I got out of bed early, to wait till he got out of the house. When he did I sneaked into the house and waited till someone came out again, which lastet at least 50 minutes but it was worth it. I got in the elevator and walked to the door which said 8J. I hold my breath for a second. That was were he lived. He walked through that door every day. I wish I could just walk through it and go into his apartment.Looking though his stuff. I was a bit shamed of myself for having those kinda feelings. I felt like a stalker. But I couldnt stop my own thoughts from wanting him. I put the big plush Flower down on the doormat and touched the door knob. Just to touch it. To touch what he touched some about an hour ago. It felt sexy.

ARTHUR I just came home from work at Haha`s and felt drained. It was a long day. I got out of the elevator and saw something lying on my doormat. A big, red plush flower. Like one for clowns! My heart jumped when I picked it up. There was a little note saying "Dear stranger, if you want to meet me , I`ll be at the little fountain in the park today at 7 O`Clock . The one with the litlle bird stature. It would be a pleasure to get to know you better. Kisses, The girl who loves you"

I bit my lips. Another note. She wanted to meet me. My hands were shaking while reading the note one more time. I actually was shaking so much I had troubles to get my keys into the lock. I threw my jacket on the couch, sat down and pressed the plushy flower to my chest. It felt so soft to the touch. A present. I never got presents. Not even when I was a kid or on my birthdays. Everything about this felt so special. I wanted to meet her so bad but at the same time I was so scared about meeting her, I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my reflection. I looked tired. Drained. Like someone sucked the life out of my. Heavy bags under my yes, from not getting enough sleep. I brushed my hair back. Better. At least a lil bit. I checked the time and realized it was already after 5 O`clock. I got no time to waste. Should I really go there? Or was Dr Kane right?

YOU I got ready for my potential date. I didnt even knew if he would show up but i hoped so. I dressed up in my usual clothes. I wanted to be my authentic self around him. I was already waiting on the spot 30 minutes too early. I just couldnt wait any longer. I needed to know if he would come. I wanted to get to know him so bad.

ARTHUR Alright, I could never forgive myself if i wouldnt take the chance, so I decited to show up. I took a bath to feel fresh, washed my hair and put on some nice clothes. Not the red suit though. I picked dark red pants, a matching vest and a white shirt under it. I hope I looked decent in it and bought some roses before I made my way to the park. I bought them from the last dollars I had but I didnt cared. I wanted to give her some nice flowers. Gotham looked different today while watching out of the trams window. Less dark and depressing. But I guess it was just me feeling better as usual. I just wanted it to be a nice date. I just wanted her to like me for who I am. I got out of the tram, walking into the park. I saw her from a distance already. There was just one person standing at the fountain, so it must have been her. She was so beautiful, I couldnt belive she was waiting FOR ME. My hands holding the roses started to get all sweaty and I wiped them off on my pants. I stumbled right in front of her as I arrived and the flowers fell out of my hands. "Ooooppps...I`m...I`m so sorry.. I...." my nervousness killed me. She similed at me as I picked up the flowers and handed them to her "I....um....brought you...som..something...um..." I stuttered. She gave me the sweetest hug "Thats so sweet of you...? Um... I don`t even know your name" she was blushing. "Arthur. My name is Arthur." "Hey Arthur. I`m Y/N. Nice to meet you. Thank ou so much for the roses. They`re beautiful". "Yeah... thank you for the notes...I don`t know what to say...you`re beautiful". Y/N smiled from cheek to cheek. "Thank you, Arthur. Would you like to take a walk though the park and get some coffee later? It would be a nice way to get to know each other. What do you think?" "I think this sounds just wonderful". She gently wrapped her arm around my waist as we were walking though the park. It was a late summer evening and for the first time ever I noticed the birds singing. The music in my head stopped. Maybe Gotham wasn`t as bad after all.

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck fanfic #arthurfleckfanfiction #joker #joker fanfiction #dc #stalking #fanfiction #romance #joaquinphoenix

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fluffychubbyrose · 5 years

Text

Tony Stark x Chubby Self Conscious reader.

One Shot.

Requested.

Warnings- Slight Language, Slight NSFW so slight if you blink you'll miss it, Tony Stark might be more OC than some may like, insecurities, and light bullying.

(Also I don't own any of these pictures I just made the collages.)

Tony decided today instead of staying in the tower and relaxing, maybe having a movie marathon or something that we should go shopping to get me some more clothes since I keep telling him that I only have a few outfits to wear that are comfortable when he asks why I'm wearing the same outfits again and again.

The outfits are mostly my old sweats and sweatshirts along with a couple of baggy dress shirts and dress pants that I feel comfortable lounging around the tower or going out in, because they cover me completely and hide my plushness from the prying and judging eyes of other people.

I've been wearing the same outfits on rotation for the past month or two instead of wearing the new dresses or skirts I said I loved and fit good when he bought them for me, even when they were a bit snugger and showed more skin than I'd like them to. But at the time they seemed like a great idea to get because while they were a bit snug, they were beautiful, soft, and lovely material that highlighted my figure and bust. But lately I haven't been as confident as I was when I first got those outfits and wore them around and out and about.

But now looking at myself in these dresses, skirts, and tight shirts they just show to much of me and dont look right on my body anymore, they show too many of my rolls and plushness. "You need more than a measly few outfits to wear love and you know it. If those clothes we bought didn't fit comfortably you should have just said something and we could have gotten a different style or size for you that would have been more comfortable."

He says with a sigh not budging about going shopping and seemingly pouting that I didn't tell him about the clothes not fitting comfortably until now especially since some of the ones I'm refusing to wear are his personal favorites. "I don't think they have any bigger sizes." I muttered. "Hmm what was that?" "Nothing give me a minute to get ready and we can go." I said heading to our shared bedroom to put some light makeup on, tame my hair, and change out of my sweats.

Once I'm finished I walk out and over hear Tony talking to someone so I stay behind the corner to eavesdrop. "Yeah Y/n and I are planning on going on a quick shopping spree but I'll see if she wants to go to afterwards and meet up with everyone and maybe I can talk her into getting a new bikini while we're out to wear to the beach."

"Okay we'll see you there but don't try to trick her into wearing anything she isn't comfortable with Tony." I think that was Steve he was talking to and said "we'll" see you there so is the whole team going to be there? If it's just us that could be fun but last time the "private" beach we went to was anything but. Luckily I had my one piece on and could cover up with my towel. Tony takes any opportunity and turns it into a party. "Me!?! Trick her! Never!" He said sounding appalled making me giggle and reveal my hiding spot.

Knowing very well that he's always up to something and trying to get me to do all kinds of crazy things from experiments in the lab, to getting me drunk from the expensive alcohols that he loves but I can't really stand the taste of. Knowing I was busted I walked around the corner and kissed Tony on the cheek from behind. "Oh there you are Y/n! Are you ready to go sweetheart?" He asks smirking at me with playful look for catching my eavesdropping. "Yeah I'm ready."

(Small timeskip to the shopping center.)

"Oooh I like this one!" Tony says swinging around showing me a nearly see threw black button up shirt with a plunging neckline. "Tony that's basically see threw I can't wear that!" I said embarrassed cheeks heating up at the thought of anybody seeing me in something like that. "Yes you can, if you only wear it for me!" He says with a cheeky grin. I sigh and continue look it through the rack of clothes in front of me.

Most if not all of these clothes are way to small for me. I sigh and continue down the isle looking for cute but comfy clothes that won't hug my body. Which is proving to be more and more difficult with nothing being in my size, and with Tony only picking out provocative clothing. I'm feeling more discouraged and upset by the minute deciding to give up on finding anything today I turn to tell Tony let's just go to the bathing suit store to pick out a new bathing suit for the "not a party at the beach" he managed to convince me into going to.

Until I see Tony with an armful of clothes that upon further investigation are a bunch of outfits I wanted to get but were way to small for me to wear there must be 20 something outfits in his arms while he's talking to the sales associate. "Hi, yes I need all of these 3-4 sizes bigger." He says dumping the clothes into her arms. Looking closer it looks like he got the biggest ones of each outfit which would only need to be 2-3 sizes bigger to fit me well. "I'm sorry sir but these are as big as we carry and besides these would just be a waste on someone like her if that's who their meant for. I mean no offense but they wouldn't even fit like they were made to on someone of her size." She spat sounding irritated and disgusted not apologetic by any means.

"The way they fit, or look, are up to her to decide. Not you or anyone else and say something like that again and I'll have your job by the end of the hour. So again I would like all of these 3-4 sizes bigger so they are comfortable for my girl over there." He motions to me with his head looking as pissed off as he sounds, and the way he said 'my girl' was very possessive. My eyes widen and my face heats up from embarrassment from what she said and the confrontation in general but I'm touched and happy with how he's defending me.

"And if you don't have any bigger sizes then custom tailor it to fit. If you need her measurements I'll send them to you. Here's my card and I expect to be contacted by the end of the day with all of these resized and ready for pickup." The women looks deathly pale after taking and reading the card realising she just offended Tony Stark. Knowing that his threat to her job moments ago was in fact real and emanate if she didn't comply. Seeing her so petrified makes a part of me smug knowing next time she'll think before she speaks at least.

"Yes! Right away, I'm so sorry sir they will be ready by the end of the day! You can pay for them then. I'll be right back." She squeaks out and runs off with the clothes with her head down and tail tucked between her legs hopefully feeling as embarassed and upset as am from her comments. I wrap my arms around my self with head down now that she's gone I feel tears pricking the edges of my eyes hearing her say that just proved what I've been thinking about myself is true that I'm so big that it's repulsive to be this size, hell I can't even fit into a single thing in this entire store without it being tailored to fit, that should say something.

"Hey don't listen to her sweetheart she's just jealous I'm with you and not her. Everything she said was just a spiteful lie trying to get under your skin." He says lifting my head up and wiping under my eyes where a few silent tears slipped past without me knowing. He kisses me softly and hugs me tucking me under his chin while his hands rub up and down my back. I snuggle closer with my eyes closed holding him tight. "C'mon Y/n let's go pick out that swim suit!" He says sounding excited and let's go of me grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the store and down to the next trying to get my mind off of the rude sales associate.

(Another small time skip where we just arrived at the beach.)

"Hey you guys made it!" Steve runs up in just his swim trunks, hair wet, and sand sticking to him like someone pushed him down onto the sandy shore of the beach just moments before. "Yeah we're just gonna go set up our stuff then we'll join you guys in the water." Tony replies with his arm wrapped around me. Steve smiles and nods then runs off down the beach. I'm not sure about getting into the water looking around there's a lot of strangers here all swarming the infamous Avengers wanting to get pictures with them or of them.

The beach isn't packed but it defiantly isn't as dead as it should be if just the team was here, and I don't want a rerun of what happened earlier especially now that Tony talked me into a bikini after all. Though I picked it out and hid it from his view until I changed into it. When I put it on and it actually fit really well supporting me and being snug but not tight when I wasn't expecting it to fit at all with just how small it looked, I couldn't just put it back and pick out a different one. (It's the bikini in the pic above.)

But thinking about it now I should have picked a much less revealing bikini, but I knew Tony would appreciate the colors if you know what I mean. So I put it on in the changing room and put my clothes back on over it, only taking the price tags up to the cashier so I could pay for it and said I wouldn't let him see it until we got here because I was worried I would loose my nerve and pick out another one piece bathing suit after all. Plus I knew that if I let him see me in it that we would never make it to the beach and would more than likely be banned from the store. So he's been rushing to get here and to get me out of my dress shirt and knee high shorts since I checked out at the store. "Hurry Y/n I can't wait to get into the water!" Tony yells twenty or so feet away and winks at me suggestively, dropping our things onto the sand not bothering to actually set anything up.

"Don't lie Stark you only want to see her in her new bikini! You don't really care about getting in the water!" Natasha yells back at him from a ways down the beach playing volleyball with Wanda and few other people I don't recognize against the boys. Both of them wearing their own bikinis. 'That's probably how Steve got covered in sand.' "How did you know about that?" He yelled back pouting harder than he would willingly admit, because she's seen me in my new bikini but he hasn't been aloud to. Natasha stopped playing and said something to a couple of the people I didn't recognize that were on her team and walked up with Wanda right behind her.

"Oh don't get your panties in a twist Stark she sent me and Wanda a few photos wanting some feed back before deciding which swim suit to get." She grumped at him. "But trust me you'll like what she picked out." Wanda said with a knowing smirk. My face heats up when his gaze locks with mine. "Oh I never doubted that I wouldn't like it. Now come on let's get into the water that's the whole point of going to the beach." He said pulling on my hand. "Fine but I have to take these clothes off and I'm not comfortable just stripping on the beach and you have get changed to."

I say holding my towel close to me nervous about showing so much of myself in front of everyone, especially in front of strangers. Tony not needing me to tell him twice took off to the changing rooms with his swim trunks yelling for me join him. "No way or I won't get to swim today! I'll change and be out in a few." I say while walking towards an empty room. I strip out of my clothes and look at myself in the full length mirror they had in the changing room. Feeling insecure and like this was a very bad idea all of a sudden.

Seeing all of my rolls and stretch marks in plain sight is making me feel ugly and disgusted with my self. I'm about to say hell with it all and put my clothes back on and say I'm feeling sick and that I want to go home even though Tony will know its a lie and will be worried about me, I can't handle this, I'm not ready, this is to much. That's when Tony's voice comes through the door. "Almost done in their my beautiful girl? You aren't going to keep me waiting all day are you? I could just come in there and get you if you'd prefer?" He purrs out but sounds worried.

I hurriedly wrap my towel around myself and unlock the door but I don't make a move to come out. "I'm not sure I can do this Tony. This is a bad idea I wanna go home." I'm hugging myself again degrading and upsetting thoughts are rushing through my head making me so overwhelmed that I don't notice Tony's in the changing room with me until he wraps his arms around me from behind making me jump. "Where's all of this coming from? Is it because of what that lady said earlier because she's wrong, so so wrong baby girl your beautiful in everyway!" I cringe trying not to cry knowing what he's saying is true but I can't help but let what she said and what I've been thinking lately get to me anyways.

I whimper and turn around in his arms letting him hold me again. "I'm sorry I don't know what's going on I've been more and more insecure lately for no real reason. That's why I don't wear those clothes you bought me anymore, they fit but they show to much of everything I hate and I wanted to cover up by wearing my old baggy clothes." I pull back looking up at him. Tony's silent for a moment looking at me with a thoughtful expression. "Well we'll just have to fix that now won't we?" He smiles softly grabbing my hand and leaning towards the door.

"Tony no I really don't want to go out there not like this at least." I say pulling back and looking down. "Like what? Your all covered up by your towel. I cant even see that little swim suit you bought earlier that I've been dying to see since we left the store. I love every single part of your body but if you don't want to go out there we don't have to. We can go home or stay right here in this changing room. Hell I bet if I text Capsicle he'll bring us something eat and drink then we can stay in here all day." I giggled at that imagining a confused and flustered Steve coming to the changing room bringing food and water.

"There's my girl." Tony coo's running his hands up my sides trying to tickle me. "Hey hey, No, Tony, Dont you dare!" I squeaked out jumping back hitting the wall of the changing room realizing I'm trapped my eyes widen and I'm about to yell at him again when he launches at me tickling me and I don't feel my towel falling while trying to squirm away laughing until I feel Tony's bare hands on my hips and he stops tickling me. I look up worried about the sudden stop in his "attack" and his silence until I see the desire in his eyes.

"As much as I absolutely love this." He leans close to my ear his grip tightening on my hips. "I'd love even more to see it off and on the floor." He kissed my neck once he finished. Making me gasp as heat floods my cheeks. He mumbles into my neck. "How about I show you just how beautiful you really are." Pressing his body up against mine nipping the sweet spot on my neck.

Let's just say I never got to go swimming in my new swim suit and Steve got more than just an eyeful when he came to check on us because we forgot to lock the door.

@lilacprincessofrecovery

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demonboidies · 5 years

Text

𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓴𝓵𝔂 - 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓳𝓲𝓶𝓲𝓷, 𝓴𝓲𝓶 𝓽𝓪𝓮𝓱𝔂𝓾𝓷𝓰, 𝓳𝓮𝓸𝓷 𝓳𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓰𝓾𝓴

pt. 6

word count; 4,855

tag list: @taezeus @jooniescupcakes @aesthetically-messed-up @okpoke @aysha489 @iwannabeanidol (comment under this post to be added, if you comment anywhere else i won’t see it)

➣park jimin

23 years old with blonde hair (dna/mic drop era) and is an ambitious dancer, singer, and all around performer. he has been creative since he was a young child and it's a big part of his life.

you locked the door after telling Namjoon you had to pick up the boys. well, technically, you were picking jimin up for his lunch/co-curricular. then following that would be taehyung, and jungkook. they all had separate break times considering they had different schedules. the rest of the boys even noted to you that jungkook would spend extra hours in the practice room at their university. dancing his heart out, skipping his lunch.

so you had patiently waited outside the entrance of his school, where he said to wait for him. so when you saw a tuffle of blonde hair bounce amongst the other students, you smiled softly knowing that it was jimin.

so you waved to get his attention, successfully achieving it. he came over to you with a bright smile and the first words out of his mouth were, "Let's get tacos!"

you didnt argue, i mean who would. a brightly smiling park jimin is offering to eat tacos, now how does one reject such an offer.

so you drive to a local taco restaurant, jimin baking your ear off as to how good their carne asada is(today he was just craving tacos. so he ordered his food, as you did your own. and while you patiently waited, you began starting up conversation.

"so how were your classes?"

a groan left his lips. "excuse my french, but annoying as hell."

you had to hold in your laughter, he didnt even curse when he said to excuse his french. "and why were they annoying?" you took a sip from your drink as he ran a hand through his hair.

"dont get me wrong, i love dancing and singing and performing, but it's too technical! i dont know if it's just at this school or something, but these classes require me to take more notes than to actually exhibit my skill." you nodded, wishing you could say you could relate but obviously couldnt. you were glad as a college student to just take notes and learn a lesson through the day, work, and go to your dorm to just study more. jimin was the complete opposite. he had a drive of passion and you admired him for that. he had something to live, and you didn't know if it was dancing, nonetheless his love for performing amazedly amzed you.

"well, at least you get to perform at shows right? i mean, i can kinda relate with how boring lessons are, especially with the most boring of teachers. but at least you get to show how really talented you are, right?" you said with a weak smile. "hey, if it makes you feel any better...one time i tripped in front of a thousand people at my orientation."

it took less than a second for him to break out into a wide grin, his childish giggle ringing through your ear. "what does that have to do with anything?" he said through his boisterous laughter.

"absolutely nothing. just wanted you to feel better and cheer up a bit," you said with a shrug and light blush. i mean your plan worked, but he now just had potential blackmail on you.

your statement seemed to make his shoulders shake even more. "you're so amusing, noona~ ah, we're lucky to have you."

i'm lucky to have you

the twinkle in his eye made you smile wider, brushing off your embarrassment. "please, i'm lucky to have you guys. you guys are seriously too generous." his eyes turn into crescents, wordlessly nodding his head.

you ate your food in silence, eating quickly to fill your empty stomach. jimin was talking through the lunch period, filling you in on the past of the boys.

"jin, he's a next-to-be heir of his father's company. he is the main source of money that goes to our house, food, and generally everything. he's well put off, to make it simply." jimin stated when you asked about the eldest brother. "we all met in high school though. i was first friends with jungkook and yoongi, so i'm really the closest to them. but i treat all of them like they're my brothers. but soon after we became all really close, we got a lot of un-needed attention. we didn't like it, especially yoongi, jungkook, and i. our anxiety really kicked in during our highschool years. the attention was too much for us and we barely made it through our last year. so jin bought the house we live in now, which is far away from the town, because we didn't want to have anything to do with the townspeople after that."

your mouth formed into a small 'o', taking in all of that information. learning about how they were treated in highscool made you sympathsize with them. naturally, when there are several attractive, young men going to a school, the females (and males) will do anything for their attention. at least, that's what it's like in the TV shows. it all seems glorious, but hearing how much it affected them now was sadening. you could only think of how they were treated.

jimin's plump lips curled into a small smirk, seeing the flash of emotions cross your face. mostly were pity and sympathy, and it was a great feeling for him. you had trusted them and gotten close them so quickly in the few days you had been acquainted. if it continued up, jin's plan would be working perfectly.

'jin isn't the only proficient liar in the house, dear,' jimin thought, happy you had fallen so easily into the trap. however, it was just the beginning and they had to work even harder for you to become even closer.

"yeah, it was relly terrible. i hate to self-pity myself, but those girls there...were really out of hand. they would give obnoxious gifts, throw themselves onto us like we were zoo animals, and the way they acted surely would've disappointed their mothers and fathers." jimin said, a pout on his lips as he worked up tears. his eyes were glossing as he looked at you with a weak smile, "you aren't like that, right noona?"

your heart broke. the look of absolute sadness on his face was enough for you to grasp his hands into yours. "of course not, i wouldn't dare to even act like that. this is my job and no matter what, i will keep myself in check. i wouldn't want you boys to relapse or anything," a kind smile was on your lips, and jimin couldn't help but mimic your expression.

"thank you so much for agreeing to this job, although it might be a bit more than you bargained for," a light chuckle left his mouth as he wiped his eyes of his almost falling tears. you nodded slowly, looking down at your empty plate. you were ready to pack up and leave, considering you already paid for the bill. but when you looked up, you saw that jimin had barely eaten his burrito bowl.

"jimin, aren't you hungry?"

he looked at his plate, smiling nervously. "no, no. i already had a few bites, that's enough to suffience me for the rest of the day."

you recalled back to when you were reading their documents, remembering the eating disorder that was listed among his other diagnoses. a weak smile trailed your lips, picking up a spoon to scoop up some of his burrito bowl. "come on, just a few more bites. and if you don't want anymore, i'm sure the other boys will appreciate this."

so, when your crush of the longest time is holding out a spoon to you, begging you to eat you food, what're you gonna say? no?

"just one more bite," jimin said with a shy smile, his face a bright red. he had never thought he would be this close to you, you were feeding him food! his brain couldn't take it so he simply leaned forward to have a bite of his own food.

"there ya go," you said happily, glad you were able to get the poor man to eat something.

so you took the burrito bowl in a to-go box, driving jimin back since his lunch period was almost up. you had talked at the restaurant longer than you had expected.

"tae should be waiting in the same spot you picked me up at, but if he isn't you can text him." jimin said as he got out of the car. he was leaned down, arm resting on the top of the car so he could talk to you.

"text me when he comes so i know he doesn't keep you waiting or something."

you both chuckled, until you heard a yell directed towards you two. "ya! jimin i'm not always late to things!"

➣kim taehyung

23 years old. dark brown hair, almost black(LY:TEAR era). a photography major, travels far every now and then when he wants to capture the perfect image. treasures art since it has been apart of his life since he could remember.

jimin rolled his eyes, looking up at the new arriving male, "you usually are though." he argued as taehyung closed in on the car. he was now standing next to jimin with his boxy smile, eyes lingering with his for a moment. that is before he whipped his head to look at you.

"hi noona!" his cheerful tone made you smile and wave in greeting. "okay, jimin scadoodle, you got a class to catch." taehyung circled the car, opening up the passenger's seat and settling in.

jimin was reluctant to leave you alone with the hyper male, but he had no choice considering he did need to catch his class. "alright i'll see you at dis-"

"yeah yeah bye!" taehyung leaned over you lap, pulling your window up for you to shut the older one out. when it was sealed shut, taehyung looks at you excitedly. "what do you have in mind for the next 45 minutes noona?"

taehyung hasn't moved from your lap, cuing a blush to arise on your cheeks. "the park?" your tone was shaking out of nerves and because you were so flustered, then taehyung finally got off of your lap.

"sure i don't mind." he calmed down a bit, playing with his thumbs which laid in his lap. "but, would you mind if we stopped for ice cream?"

the familiar boxy smile was on his face as he waited for your response. you couldn't turn down the energetic boy's request even if you wanted to, it has to be illegal to say no to that face. so you exaggeratedly sighed in defeat, although the smile on your face proved to taehyung that you were in fact okay with getting ice cream. i mean ice cream in the park was an even better idea than the original you had proposed.

so you drove a little down the road and to the small ice cream parlor, where a nice old lady was waiting. she greeted you with a smile, but when she saw taehyung's figure her face turned a bit glum. you didn't miss it, but taehyung didn't catch it as he was too busy looking at the assortments of ice cream.

so you told the lady what you wished to order, she gladly taking it and putting the ice cream you wanted in a cup. taehyung looked up at her and her eyes once again turned a bit glum, face falling at the sight of his face. you ignored it and moved to the cashier, missing the deadly glare that taehyung gave her. if looks could kill she surely would've been dead.

another girl had gotten your order rung up at the cashier, what the other lady was doing you didn't care for. so you simply paid for the ice cream, going back to taehyung who was sitting at the table patiently.

"here is your ice cream taehyung, let's go to the park, yeah?" he nodded, smiling widely.

"we can go to the campus park, it's closer than the other one." taehyung informs and you didn't even bother arguing, the faster you could get back to pick jungkook up would be easier and more convenient anyway. so you drove according to his directions, parking in the open lot.

he eagerly hopped out of the vehicle, practically bouncing over to sit on one of the benches. miraculously, his ice cream was fine with all his erratic movement.

you locked the car door, joining him on the bench. you licked your ice cream and observed the scenery. it was a beautiful little park, a blue pond sitting in the corner of the landscape. trees were blooming, little pink buds at the end of several branches.

"so, noona," he started breaking the silence, "why did you become a maid rather than a translator?"

you thought for a moment, humming slightly in thought. "i mean, i would be happy with either jobs. but my friend was telling me about how her grandma had passed because no one was watching over her, it made me re-think my decision." you spoke the truth to taehyung, a soft smile on your face. "i got really lucky with this job, however. you guys are really too generous."

he shook his head and took a lick of his ice cream, "no, we just know how to treat people correctly. jin and yoongi are the heads of the house, unofficially but they are the most responsible, and they both agree that they both don't like it when people arent treated correctly. or aren't paid the amount they should."

your heart warmed at how sweet the two boys were. they were so considerate and kind, it was really heart warming to know there were people still like that.

"oh, i'm glad that they're equal minded. you all seem equal minded and open." he nodded in agreement to your words, an appreciative smile on his lips. you finished your ice cream and stood up to find a nearby trash can to throw the cup away.

"wait, i have another question, don't go yet," he said hurriedly, like he was afraid you were going to leave him at the park. his hand shot out to your wrist, holding you still.

a short chuckle left your lips, "tae, chill. I'm just going to throw this out."

he stared at you for a moment, "you promise?" the tone of seriousness laced in his voice was a bit alarming but you brushed it off. "yes, tae, i promise." he finally let you go, nodding slowly. as you walked to the nearby trashcan you could feel his eyes trail after you.

so when you joined his side, he clasped his hands with yours. "i'm sorry, just feeling a little stressed right now." he emphasized the word 'stressed' and you nodded. remembering on his file, it said too much stress could lead to an episode of his. you held his hand equally as tight, looking at him with a soft smile.

"i'm not gonna ask wh-"

"i thought you were going to leave me here," he said with a ragged breath, "it's a little thing, but i got worried, sorry. i get worried easily."

you nodded in understanding, waving your hand dismissively, "don't apologize. what were you wanting to ask earlier?" your thumb rubbed against the back of his hand and you didn't know how thankful he was for your touch. his worries were dying down already, positively because of your prescence and touch. if he was at home alone, he would've snapped already. you really were a blessing to have. it was a shame he had to share you.

"have you had any other jobs before this one?"

"yes, i did." you answered openly. "i was offered to be a translator for an american company stationed here. they needed a translator, but the way i was treated there made me quit. besides, that place had shut down a few weeks later, so i guess i got really lucky. after that i applied for a job at the nursing home. occasionally, i had side jobs to care for those with mental disorders and such."

he nodded along, already knowing that information. in fact, he felt he knew it too well. he remembered when jin had conveyed that message to him. he snapped that day when he heard you were being mistreated. he was also the one who wanted you to come and join them instead, encouraging the others to send that letter to you.

"i see, well the job must've sucked anyway." he said, beginning to lighten the mood. "we're happy we have you though. you're not the only grateful one~"

his comments made you smile, forgetting about what you were previously talking about.

"why are you so curious anyway?"

he lifted an eyebrow, pouting a bit, "can't be curious about our sweet little maid." your nose scrunched at the comment, not sure if it was a negative or positive.

"i mean, i guess you're right. curiosity did kill the cat though," you winked playfully, chuckling alongside him.

"however, i am satisfied with those answers." he smirked back, taking a bite out of his cone. as he chewed his phone began to ring. his hands were full however, one of his hands holding his cone, the other holding yours. his grip on your hand tightened a bit, telling you he didn't want to let go.

he nodded, saying it was alright to check his phone. so, hesitantly however, you grabbed his phone and your expression eased when you read the name.

'jungkookie'

"its jungkook."

"oh just answer it," he nods once again, "what does he need now?"

you swiped on the screen if his phone, putting it on speaker so taehyung could talk.

"what do you need kookie?" he spoke casually, biting off another piece of cone.

"i-i need you to come get me, please. i-can't b-breathe."

taehyung was more on guard now, getting up and biting down the last of the ice cream cone. "we gotta go back to the university. quickly." you swallowed harshly, getting up and starting the car. taehyung got in after you, calmly (surprisingly) speaking to jungkook on the other end.

"hey, kook, listen to me. i know it feels suffocating, but listen to me okay," heavy breathing was heard on the other end, "y/n is here, okay? she's here. she is here."

you glanced at taehyung questionably, wondering why it mattered whether or not you were, in fact, here.

"y-y-y/n?" his voice was shaky, hiccupping heard afterwords. "yo-you're there?" a strong wheeze was heard after that. it encouraged you to really race through the streets, no matter how close it was. he needed someone, now.

"yeah, i'm here. where are you jungkook? me and tae are gonna get you, okay? focus for a moment and tell us where you are." your words were rushed and you were afraid he wouldnt be able to comprehend what you were saying.

"eas-east building, floor-r 1, right by econ."

you shut your door, loud enough for a lot of people to stare in confusion. taehyung led you to the building and inside to where jungkook said he was.

you saw the younger boy, knees to his chest, tears streaming down his face, the hand clenching his phone so tightly you swore you almost saw a crack forming.

"kook!" taehyung called out, rushing to kneel by his younger friend's side. "you're okay. i got you, i got you."

➣jeon jeongguk

21 years old. medium dark brown hair(wings/ynwa era). takes singing and dancing seriously, passionate about both activities. has terrible anxiety, but still is able to attract all the girls on campus with his seemingly innocent and boyish look. however, jungkook only has his eyes on one girl.

jungkook shook his head 'no,' pushing past him to stumble to his legs. he got up and ran into your arms, sobbing into your shoulder. his grip was tight around you, like he never wished to let go. softly, you could hear your name being muttered over and over. his body shook, the wetness of his tears soaking through your shirt's fabric.

"hey. it's alright, i'm here. i'm here, it's okay."

his body shook even more violently with his sobs, squeezing you even tighter. "do-don't go, st-stay."

"i'm not going anywhere. hey, breathe in and out with me, okay?" you didn't care about your surroundings and brought you two down to the ground. "look at me, listen to me."

he did as told, staring at you with his red, doe eyes. when you made sure he was paying attention, you took in deep breaths for him to mimic. his eyes stayed on your lips, following after you. although he did have hiccups in between some breaths, he managed to steady himself.

taehyung, slightly jealous, stayed silent. jungkook was wrapped in your arms, head resting in the crook of your neck. you looked at taehyung, nodding to him, saying he should go to his class now before he misses it. he hesitantly leaves, waving bye to you as you try to comfort jungkook more.

from your experience with past patients and by what recently happened, you could assume jungkook had a panic attack. you shuffled both of you over to sit on the couch which was in the corner of the room. students had poured into the building, following their schedule. some paid no mind as others didn't bother hiding their stare. even when his sniffles were gone and the tears were long gone, he was still holding tightly onto you. his arm wrapped around your own, making him look like a lost child.

suddenly, there was a man that walked up to you two. "hey, is mr. jeon doing alright?"

with the way he held himself, his speech, and his clothing, you could only think that he was the dean of their school. "yes, he should be alright, now." he nodded and looked at the cowering jungkook.

"jungkook, you can take the day off if you would like. some students were telling me this episode was worse than the ones before." you turned to jungkook, asking if he would like going home. he nods, pushing himself closer to you.

"if it's alright, jungkookie would like to leave with noona," he says in a quiet voice. the dean nods, holding his hand for you to shake which you do briefly. he leaves the building and you turn to jungkook with a soft smile.

"if you have everything on you now, we can go home." speaking softly, you gently squeeze his hand. ever since he had calmed down, he seemed to be a bit aloof. you weren't going to question it, assuming he was just really coming back and calming down.

so you picked the backpack up for him, guiding the straps to his shoulders and walked hand-in-hand with him to the car. you opened his door for him, reminding him to put his seat belt on before you entered through your side of the car.

"noona," his quiet voice started, "jungkookie is sorry for causing trouble. i-i was just really anxious and ever-rything felt too close." there was a tremble in his tone and you shook your head in objection to his apologies.

"hey, you don't need to apologise, there should be no need for you to apologize for something you couldn't control. and don't even call it trouble, you caused me no trouble," although your eyes were trained on the road, the smile on your lips was directed to him.

jungkook chewed on his lip, watching your soft expression. he felt like there were butterflies in his stomach from the sweet, kind smile on your face. he had only dreamt of seeing it up close and have it directed to him before.

"noona, jungkookie thinks you're sooo pretty! this pretty!" he blurted, stretching his arms wide open, almost hitting you with his palm.

you flinched slightly at the sudden outburst, stopping at the red light and taking your time to inspect him. "jungkook, you alright?"

"jungkookie is okay now! now that noona is here! and she's sharing all of her happiness and smiles, so of course jungkookie okay."

his tone, which was lighter and higher than usual, his words, speaking in third person, his sudden switch in action - he had changed to an alter of his. why had it taken you so long to figure that much out? it said on his file he had DID, why couldn't you piece two aand two together?

you also read that same night when you were researching their own disorders, people switch alters or heads when they might be feeling temendously anxious or they were triggered to. some people with DID find it to be a protecting or shielding mechanism. what exactly happened at school with jungkook today?

"well, jungkookie," you started slowly. he had nodded eagerly, loving the sound of his name falling off of your lips.

"yes noona?" you swear, there were hearts twirling around his head as stars filled his eyes.

"how about i drop you off at home, we can watch some shows, and then we can go pick up the two others together?"

"hmm," he hummed thoughtfully, lower lip jutted out, "jungkookie is a little tired. but maybe if i take a nappy, i can be okay!"

the cheerful and childish response made you smile in relief. who knows maybe it would be better if jungkook stayed home when you went to pick up the boys. so you parked the car in their driveway, bouncing over to open jungkook's door for him.

you unlocked the house door with your own key and the ones inside the house immediately padded over.

"the dean called. said jungkookie had a panic attack and was excused from class. he isn't hurt is he?" you shook your head silently, watching the 3 boys, minus yoongi (he was watching carefully from the sidelines though), was inspecting jungkook, asking him all kinds of questions.

"he isn't hurt," you answered for them, "but he changed alters."

there was a silent pause between everyone, except jungkook who was thumping his foot against the floor. "hyungs! can i take y/n upstairs so we can play with my games?" he had bounced around jin's wheel chair, an excited smile on his face.

"hold on a second bunny, why don't you set up while we talk to y/n here?" the youngest settled for that idea, running up the stairs. when all of them made sure it was clear, they heaved a sigh of relief.

"jungkook in his headspace is usually really in control, so i hope he didn't cause too much trouble for you," jin said with an apologetic smile.

"no he was perfectly fine. it just shocked me a bit, i didn't expect to see jungkook in his little mind space for a while." namjoon leaned over, lowering his voice in safety so jungkook could hear, "it means he trusts you enough to become a little."

the rest of them nodded, agreeing with namjoon. they were about to say something when your phone started vibrating. jimin was calling.

"hello-"

"5th avenue, the corner of that street, right in front of the McDonald's! come quick!!"

it became obvious they needed a ride so you hung up, turning back to the boys.

"he'll be okay with me gone, right?"

they shared a glance before nodding, urging you to get the rest of the boys. so you left, going to the address jimin said in his quick message.

little did you know that while you were gone, jungkook would only get more stubborn and whiney, as the eldest hyungs had to deal with their giant man-baby who had been repeatedly yelling your name after finding out you had left. surprisingly he wasn't crying, just stomping his feet out of frustration.

it didn't matter to jin, the headache he felt was the same from the continuous cry of your name. let's just hope you don't come back home to see how terrible they were at controlling a little jungkook.

YO this chapter literally has double the words than it does with hyung line....I feel bad but i swear i dont have a preference for either line!!

anyway, I apologize for any mistakes and just a side note - its undecided what Jungkook's little age is but I'm gonna range it from 3-5 or smth like that.........(he does have other personalities/ alters - they just haven't been triggered yet 👀)

#yandere bts #yandere kpop #bts #kpop #yandere imagines #bts x reader #yandere x reader #yandere bts x reader #yandere ot7 #yandere bts ot7 #bts ot7 #sickly ff #bts sickly ff #yandere sickly #yandere ff #bts imagines #ot7 x reader #ot7 imagines

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dylinski · 5 years

Text

Wasting Time

Request from Anon: How about #1 I love you, please dont go for sterek

Warnings: language, angst, little make out sesh

Relationships: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale

Word Count: 2079

Author: @dylan-obrien-fanblog

A/N: Sorry this took me so long, I just couldn’t find the inspiration but I found it!!!! this is also what ignited my little sterek rant post I posted yesterday. i hope ya’ll like it.

Listen to THIS. It was my inspiration and is now my new favorite Sterek song.

Derek grunted as he turned in his bed for the hundredth time that night. No matter what he did, he couldn’t get comfortable and fall asleep despite being exhausted. Sleeping in a shitty motel bed didn’t help much either. He had been on the run for almost a year with the FBI chasing after him. Being framed for mass murder sucked, but thankfully Stiles intervened when they were just about to catch him. That was a couple months ago, so Stiles has had time to recover from his ‘injury’. He was still a wanted man, but Stiles was using all the power he had with the FBI to throw them off his tracks or to find evidence that proved Derek’s innocence. There have been a few leads, but none of them ever panned out and only led to dead ends.

In order to stay under the radar, Derek would move around to different motels every couple nights, but never too far from where Stiles was. At first, he only stuck around to make sure he was okay and recovered from the botched field op, which was mostly Stiles fault, but it was for Derek. He knew that it was a risk for him to save his ass, especially with only being an intern. He still couldn’t believe that he somehow convinced them to take an intern with little to no experience on a field op, he was also surprised he didn’t sway them to let him lead the damn thing. That was Stiles though, a relentless little bastard. After Stiles got better though, they had spent so much time together that it reminded Derek of the old days in Beacon Hills, fighting the bad guys and saving the world. Stiles begged him to stay and let him help to clear Hale name, and Derek just couldn’t say no to those whiskey eyes.

That wasn’t how things stayed though, tonight was terrible. Derek replayed the memory in his mind, going back to every word that was said and how each one cut him like a knife.

“Stiles, we haven’t had a new lead in weeks. This is getting ridiculous.”

“I know. I’m checking a few other things out, but it will take a while for my sources to get back to me.” Stiles rummaged through some papers that were laying on the bed, trying to make a connection between something, anything.

Derek sat at the small square table in the corner of the room, scanning his own pile of papers, but gave up on them a while ago. After some tense silence, Derek finally spoke. “I’m leaving in the morning Stiles.”

Stiles froze and slowly looked up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his face laced with anger and confusion. “What the fuck do you mean you’re leaving in the morning?”

“I mean exactly what is sounds like. How is that confusing?” Derek was befuddled as to why Stiles didn't understand him.

“I know what you said asshat! I just don’t believe it!” Stiles was now standing as he shouted at the raven haired man from across the room. He started pacing as Derek leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “You can’t leave, we said we were going to figure this out together.” Stiles started biting his thumb as he stared at his feet, continuing to tread back and forth. He suddenly stopped and looked up at Derek with weepy eyes. “You said you would let me help you.”

“You tried helping and we’ve gotten nowhere. It’s time for me to move on and search for other solutions.” Derek spoke calmly with a-matter-of- fact tone, hiding his own despair behind his stolid mug.

Stiles eyes dried quickly and his tears were replaced with rage. He scrunched up his nose in the way he does when he’s trying to stop himself from lashing out, which was evident by his clenched fist at his side. “Move on from Virginia or move on from me?” He couldn’t look Derek in the eyes when he asked his question through gritted teeth and found himself fixed on a point somewhere beyond the careless man.

Derek subtly flinched at Stiles’ last few words and his heart skipped. He kept his forthright features, despite everything he was feeling. His words were caught in his throat, so he spoke as few as possible fearing they would betray his composure. “Both.” He swallowed the lump in his throat as he heard Stiles whine in his throat, like a cry for help, he wouldn’t had heard it if it weren't for his wolf hearing.

“FINE! THEN FUCKING LEAVE!” Stiles grabbed his suit coat and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. His absence was felt and the room became silent and cold. Derek could feel the sorrow brimming at his eyes. He never wanted to hurt the boy, but that was all he knew how to do. Everyone he ever loved got hurt because of him, he was just better off on his own. There was no point in him dragging Stiles down with him, possibly ruining his career and reputation and even the smallest possibility of getting him killed. It was a stretch for him to even accept his help in the first place, but he had been here too long and it was time to press on, leaving Stiles behind...again.

Derek just laid there, staring at the ceiling repeating Stiles’ words in his head only hours after he spoke them. He hated that he left things that way, but there was no point in bothering the brunette when he was angry and had his mind set on something. He had no intention of seeing him again before he left at dawn, unable to deal with confrontation and emotions. He shifted in his bed, yet again, and closed his eyes trying to push out the sound of pain in his friend’s voice. Lost in thought, a knock at the door drowned out all the noise in his head. He sat up and immediately knew it was Stiles from his scent and the sound of his heartbeat, which was racing. He got up and opened the door, leaning against it wearing only sweatpants.

Stiles was soaked from the rain, still wearing his suit which meant he never went home after their argument. He looked up at Derek, his hair matted to his forehead and eyes full of tears that were indistinguishable from the droplets of rain that rested on his cheeks. Neither of them needed to speak, and Derek let him into the small room as he went to the bathroom to get him a towel. He grabbed an extra pair of sweatpants and a shirt from his already packed bag and handed them to the wet man while he was roughly scrubbing his head. The towel left his hair sticking up in all directions and Derek couldn’t hold back a smile as he remembered the young boy who used to wear his hair spiked up all the time. Stiles didn’t bother with his hair anymore and he wasn’t that young boy anymore either. Stiles peeled off the damp clothes and changed into the dry ones, causing Derek to blush. He had never even seen him shirtless before, but it was different than seeing another man topless...it was Stiles. It was always Stiles. He always did something to him that no one else did, something he couldn’t explain or begin to understand.

Once the spiky haired boy was settled, he sat down at the foot of the bed and let his head fall. He gulped, like he was nervous and preparing to make a speech which was not unforeseen for him. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and then looked up to Derek standing in front of him, looming with his arms crossed. Most people had resting bitch face, Derek had resting bitch arms.

“Derek...:” His voice croaked and sounded raw, like he had been crying and screaming for an unreasonable amount of time. Derek could see the pain in his eyes when the dark chestnut orbs took him in. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but the thing I regret the most is that I didn’t ask you to stay after Mexico. I know we’re both different people now and we’ve changed since you left, but I still feel like we haven’t.” He was crying again, avoiding eye contact as he stared at his feet. Derek had let his arms fall to his sides and his face more empathetic. He kneeled down to meet the boys face and squeezed his arm.

Stiles still didn’t look up, but continued on his monologue. “I’ve wasted so much time...spent countless nights trying to push you down, ignoring this hole in my chest that manifested the second you walked away. You said you’d be back, but I knew in my heart you wouldn’t. It was just by chance that the FBI was hunting you and I got on the team. If that hadn’t happened, would I have ever seen you again?” The question was rhetorical, but Derek didn’t have an answer either way. He hooded his eyes in disappointment in himself as Stiles wiped his nose on the sleeve of the borrowed shirt. He held it under his nose for a minute, inhaling the smell of Derek that clung to the fabric.

“I know this a lot, Derek, and I don’t understand much of it myself, but I can’t keep pretending I don’t have these emotions and I can’t go through this again. I can’t watch you leave, not knowing if I’ll ever see you again, not when I feel this way.” Stiles finally looked up, staring into Derek’s eyes with a longing he had never seen in those honey iris’ before. “I’m not going to let you leave again, at least not without trying. So Derek...I love you and I’m begging you, please don’t go.”

Derek couldn’t hold back his tears or his own emotions anymore, he cupped Stiles cheek and searched his eyes for answers or some kind of sign that this wasn’t all just a dream. He could feel everything he was feeling by looking at his face and he wanted to take all the pain away, let him know that he wasn’t crazy, that this wasn’t stupid, that he loved him too. Derek leaned in and pressed his lips to Stiles’, leaving him awestruck as his eyes widened. Once it kicked in what was happening, he screwed his eyes shut and kissed him back passionately, turning the kiss into more than just that, but something fueled with desire and longing that had been begging to escape for years. Derek pressed against Stiles, causing him to crawl backwards up the bed, refusing to break the unrelenting kiss. Derek straddled Stiles as his tongue dug into his mouth, searching it’s depths and creating a dance between their lips.

Hearts were racing and chests were heaving as Derek pulled back for air, placing his forehead against Stiles’. Their breaths mingled as their lips brushed, still processing what was actually happening. Stiles pulled his head back and ran his fingers through the black hair of the man staring back at him, giving him a crooked smile that made Derek blush.

He pulled his leg over so that he could settle down next to the brunette and draped his arm around his shoulders. Stiles turned into his firm body and nuzzled his nose into the crevice of his arm, wrapping his arms in an enclosed circle around his waist. He could hear Derek’s heart through his chest, strong and rapid. Derek rested his head on top of Stiles’ spiky hair and whispered, “I’ll stay.” He could feel Stiles smile against his chest eliciting a smile of his own.

“Good, now I don’t have to resort to plan B.”

“Plan B?” Derek leaned back so he could see Stiles.

Stiles just giggled into his chest, “Yeah, I was going to break in and circle the room in mountain ash.” Stiles looked straight at Derek with a serious expression as if it was the most logical solution.

Stiles couldn’t help but smile again as he thought back to Derek’s words. It meant more than what laid at the surface. In his own way when he said ‘I’ll stay’, he was actually saying ‘I love you too’.

Taglist: @bitch-banshee

#sterek #eternalsterek #sterek fanfiction #stiles stilinski #derek hale #mostly fluff #wasting time #post season 6A #pre season 6B #my writing

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