#i got myself a ride with this person and the ride situation somehow split so this person and i would be in the car alone

[p-receh]

I was reading your long post on the elementals and got whiplash in the end with your Allahuakbar in the tags 😭

And then i saw your profile having a hijab and went "oh yea shes muslim. Neat :D"

Anyway aside from that

Love the ted talk that was a very nice read :]

It amazes me how much you try to find information despite beimg on hiatus for 8 years. There was.. ALOT of phases but the fandom has stayed relatively the same, the only phase i really miss is the threads and occasional "boi life update"

Pretty sure bbb is in fact ambidextrous! We never see him write with his left hand but he uses weapons with it (sword, bows, etc) and you need a lot of coordination to do that

Surprised how you didn't talk about the biggest worry of if boi has complete amnesia, there were a lot of speculation back then of what would happen if a situation where boi was alone and was split for a long time, we speculated that the elements would create its own concious with a mix of boi's beliefs and personality. But at that point would they even WANT to combine back?

At the time we were all just "oh haha just what-ifs tho, no need to worry" and then a teaser art work of bbb movie 3 was shown where boi was ALONE.

Boi is never alone, he always had his friends, even in movie 2 he had Gopal, this time hes alone. Not even ochobot is with him.

So there was a moment everyone went WILD it was beautiful, now obviously most people speculated that he was trying to find his dad or was searching something for Tok Aba

But there were a couple people who were like "hey guys what happens if boi split haha, who gonna get him back together haha, whos gonna remind him haha... oh god what if the elements seperate.." annnnnnddd that kinda got me thinking..

If boi got split for too long to the point of the elements becoming they're own 'person' obviously Boi's friends (and tapops) will eventually get them to combine back again

But which memories would boi get? All of them? If he split into 3 he'll have 3 memories but what if he split into 5? Which memories would dominate?

Can boi tell which are really his and which are the elements?

What if specific elements made new friends? Would boi feel guilty? Would boi care about these characters like how his elements cared for them? The elements are him after all

But where does the line end between him and the elements? Where is evern the line drawn that separates him with them?

How can he differentiate which action of his was himself and not pushed by a certain element personality?

How can boi live with himself with the fact he might be keeping 7 people from living?

Hehe I'm delighted . Assalamualaikum, Anon ^^

It amazes me how much you try to find information despite beimg on hiatus for 8 years. There was.. ALOT of phases but the fandom has stayed relatively the same, the only phase i really miss is the threads and occasional "boi life update"

Tbh, It's a wild short ride if I remembered it again. I didn't know there's the comic ver of Galaxy season 1 and movie 2; the battle card sets; action figures; magazines; heck, when the movie 2 come out in theater, I did not managed to watch it.

A funny story how I went back to this series. When I was on staycation at the hotel this year, that night, my sister stumbled upon one of my local tv(uuuuh I forgot whether it's mnc tv or rtv) that showing one of Galaxy season 1 episode. She asked me how Boboiboy's get bigger and why am I did not watch this series anymore. My reason is same as what I've mentioned about Duri and Solar here and that's the end of it.

But later when I'm back home, I somehow... Felt an urge to re-watch its series? I have to tell you first, I followed Boboiboy's account on Twitter like two years ago, I read some issues when Monsta released season 2 comic on webtoon but I stopped shortly after.

So when people hyped about the upcoming Sori, I myself didn't feel like to watch it since I constantly reminded myself to finish the galaxy season 1 first.

Therefore I hurriedly marathon-ed all series. A bit of back and forth between Galaxy series and original series to refresh my mind before went to movie 2 and Sori. And even then I stopped my read at issue 6 to watch Sori in blind. Counting all that I finished this series within.... Three... Weeks or more I guess?

For now I only own the Google play book ones, baby steps to buy all the physical comic books and the card packs too I guess. (Aaaaaaaaa I want the galaxy season 1 and movie 2 comic books SO BAD >:[ )

Surprised how you didn't talk about the biggest worry of if boi has complete amnesia, there were a lot of speculation back then of what would happen if a situation where boi was alone and was split for a long time, we speculated that the elements would create its own concious with a mix of boi's beliefs and personality. But at that point would they even WANT to combine back?

I MISSED THAT IMPORTANT PART WADEFA—

Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya me too, anon, ME TOO!

Windara and Gur'latan arc made me absolutely concerned with boi's mental health.

When talking about amnesia awareness. We had this line from both comic and Sori.

Yet the final episode of Sori piqued my interest.

Monsta surprisingly didn't dwell this deeper in comic book ver. They didn't show how much the effect could impact the elemental's well being.

edit: I really want to highlight how much Hali's big will to fight his amnesia illnesses. When others starts to forget their surroundings, Hali on the other hand decided to increase his pace. Desperately find a way to meet his other twins. Notice how Hali forgetting Gopal's name but not Yaya at first... Until Hali also forgotten her name.

Yet Yaya somehow understood Hali's frustration by accepting her temporary name. All that scene made my eyes wide when I compared it to comic ver.

(btw how about I call him "Oboi" like many people call him since it's cuter and easier to type? We good? moving on.)

The comic ver only portrayed a fainted Oboi, whereas Sori purposely added an extra few frames of him "suffering" and said more than just felt dizzy.

(my pc record program got error again, and my phone didn't support internal audio. Apologies for the mute sound m(__)m)

This scene is peculiar indeed. Aside from how pretty the recombined animation is, this scene made me realize: "Oh? Oooooooh? Okay, Monsta. Let's see where this is going."

Can I say I'm very, veerry much in gratitude to Monsta that they added those extra scenes more detailed and logical? People need to remind that Boboiboy is a freaking human. A FRAGILE LIVING BEING THAT IS STILL. A MIDDLE. SCHOOLER.

he's no superman or spiderman genes shit. He and Kokotiam gang are purely normal teenagers with no special genes inside them. It's all because of the special power tool that came from a robot. That's it.

I forgot where I got this fact, please please PLEASE tell me I'm wrong, but when I stumbled upon some random trivia on the internet, I was mouth agape with the line:

"All season 2 events happened in 3 months"

My brain.exe stopped working at the moment. All I could think was, "Wallahi THAT'S FUCKING TIGHT EVENTS!! WTF??!!"

Another reason why TAPOPS is useless and just let youngsters did all the dirty work. Just like how this tweet deliberately writes it. Couldn't agree more.

(I won't translate it to English since its a long thread. So please read it yourself 😅)

ehem. moving on.

At the time we were all just "oh haha just what-ifs tho, no need to worry" and then a teaser art work of bbb movie 3 was shown where boi was ALONE.

(where did you get that, anon? O.O)

So there was a moment everyone went WILD it was beautiful, now obviously most people speculated that he was trying to find his dad or was searching something for Tok Aba

Anon, I was frantically screaming when I saw this in the opening vid of motion comic series.

Like,

WHY WOULD YOU TEASE THIS IMAGE WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN FIND ONE IN YOUR COMIC, MONSTA????

Ehem.

Also, I thought when boi said this

It means all Kokotiam gang's are staying on earth, right? as usual? back to what they did in eps 1 or issue 1 in both season 2 events?

But after you mentioned it I ... somehow reminded myself of Tok Aba's worrying physical illness.

If...

If what you say about the movie 3 teaser is true, anon...

Then does Boboiboy is alone after he...?

... some people say that Tok Aba was hiding his painful disease all from Boboiboy like how he spotted in ... gosh I forgot which issue is it and the last one. Also, I guess Kokotiam gang didn't too. No idea about Ochobot though, I went 50/50 with that...

...please tell me this isn't true...

...please...

fuck where are you and your wife, Amato? >:/

HOOOLD—ONE AT THE TIME ANON

I'm at my Tumblr image post limit, so I'll continue this topic in reblog.

Update: I made it into separate post here

[choochoochoochoochoochoochoo]

Ace Attorney Case 3 Thoughts:

Coming into this case I had 0 expectations, and I was actually pleased with it. This case placed a big emphasis on the exploration of its setting, in this instance, the studio, its lots, and the dressing room. This change caught me off guard at first, I'm not particularly used to backtracking or returning to areas that I had explored previously. But in this case, it proved important to do so, revisiting the dressing room to find Sal, and coming back to the employee area to find Cody. After a bit of trial and error (sad to admit that I got lost for like 5 minutes before I returned to the dressing room to find Sal) I eventually got used to the notion of having to check locations multiple times.

A comment in my last post let me know that some people believed this case unnecessary. I had a lot of fun with it, this is not to say it's without its problems which I will get into later on. Despite the issues, the case felt like a wild ride in which I had to constantly guess the killer and the possible motives for the killing. This feeling kept me on my toes throughout the course of the case. My initial guess which I thought would make the killer a bit too obvious was Penny. When given the security cam photo of the suspected killer the first thing I noted was the pants dragging. Subjectively speaking I feel like other people must've had the same thought as I did. Instead, the game emphasized the leg dragging behind which would indicate Powers due to his ankle injury. Even though my initial thought was incorrect I found the usage of the limp to more than make up for my surprise. The writing in terms of the limp was great, it made it so technically only people at the rehearsal could imitate Powers, narrowing it down to 4 people who could don the suit, Powers, Vasquez, Oldbag, and Hammer (which at the time would seem unthinkable). With Oldbag getting ruled out early on the rest of our focus pivots to the rest of the people in the room. Unlike the 1st and 2nd trials, the vast variety of possible suspects made the case really thrilling. Having to narrow down possible suspects one by one is something I hope returns in future cases. (I for a split second thought it might've been the kid but that would be too dark for this game..... surely.)

The most interesting portion for me, well portions, for me were 1. Hammer being the "killer" and 2. THE DANG TBONE STEAKS. First off my thoughts on Hammer, his storyline is actually a bit sad, someone who was accidentally involved in a tragedy. In the world, emphatically we can understand why he chose to try and kill Vasquez, he had been held hostage for 5 years, for something completely out of his control, a freak accident. This turmoil and anger caused him to stoop as low as to possibly implicate Powers in the murder, essentially ruining an innocent person's life. I found this fact ironic because it similarly mirrors his own situation, ruining one's life for a death they did not cause. It's easy to say he's in the wrong (which he is) but at the same time, grief and sadness can cause people to do things they normally would never think of doing. I thought the twist of having him be an attempted murderer to be super interesting, something I thought wasn't possible or plausible coming into this case. Now going into the real important tidbit, the T-bone steaks in what world would anyone expect T-bone steaks to be vital information in a court case, not to be used only once but twice... When I first entered the employee's area I was a bit befuddled as to why they specified the steaks to be T-bones, I laughed it off musing to myself "Surely they aren't important". When I first entered studio 2 and saw the plates it hit me "huh no bones". At that point, I knew that somehow as some absurd affront to God, the T-bones became VITAL to the case. (I'm so so so glad that the game made reference to them somehow eating the bones as well it's so funny)

Before I get into the gripes I had about the case I wanted to go over my thoughts on Edgeworth turning a new leaf. In my last post, I talked about how his methodology seemed cold but fair, and how I wanted to get more insight into his character. This case delivered in this aspect, with him taking a 180 and pulling back once he realized Phoenix was about to lose his chance at fully freeing Powers of his indictment. My personal canon built in my mind from only knowing Edgeworth from two cases is that he had built his career on always attaining a guilty verdict. Without much care for right or wrong, he simply pursued his role in the court. After his last run-in with Phoenix, I suspect his view had changed, the realization that he potentially could've ruined the lives of both Wright and Maya, their innocence, and his subsequent loss in the previous trial would cause him to rethink his outlook on his role as a prosecutor. I suppose future cases will go further in-depth to explain this because as with Phoenix and the rest of the jury, it seemingly came out of left-field leaving us wondering why Edgeworth would risk his own job to protect the defense. Gumshoe also has a minor redemption in the form of protecting Maya and Phoenix from getting wiped by the mafia which I thought was a fun little bit.

Now as for my problems with this case, I mainly only have two, 1 Being Sal as a whole, and 2 the aftermath of the case especially pertaining to Vasquez. I'll start off with Vasquez, I'm no lawyer but in my eyes, she is liable for multiple very serious offenses, namely the covering up of the truth of events in a death 5 years past, and her involvement with the mafia. She had also recently killed an individual in self-defense, as well as almost going through with the murder of a 17-year-old and a defense attorney, with Gumshoe being a witness in the latter incident. I'm left wondering if I had missed something in the aftermath of what happened to Vasquez, or possibly it just being something that's left up to the imagination. It's not entirely out of the picture that I'll get a follow-up to the case in the future, all I can really do is wait and see.

Now on to my main problem Sal, now without mincing words or tip-toeing around it, he's just weird and unnecessary. We see this type of character pop up a lot in media, the pervy nerd, a lot of the time I'm left wondering why they exist. I've played a couple other similar games to AA namely AITSF, the Zero Escape series, and Dangan Ronpa and they all to some extent suffer from similar archetypes with the severity ranging from title to title. My problem with the character kind of starts and ends with my initial statement, he isn't necessary to the plot and just kind of comes off as a pervert as some sort of comedic punch. I understand that it's most likely a case of something not aging well, with the game being originally released back in 2001, but even back then I would've been disappointed with him as a character. I found this trial to have a large cast of characters/suspects, all having their own possible motives, and I found each of them to be interesting, having a part in the greater narrative of the case. I feel like they could've done so much more with the role of the producer, especially since he's seemingly overworked and/or being pushed around by Vasquez. I think my disappointment comes from that, him being an unlikeable character, on top of the potential of the role his character could've played, which just left a bad taste in my mouth. It's not to say he completely ruins the case, It's precisely because it's a good case that I have such a problem with him.

Before I close off I wanted to say I really liked Penny and I'm glad she wasn't the killer or anything despite my initial thoughts (the pants sagging in the security photo made me think someone of her stature could've been wearing it...) Overall thought this was a good case, which gives us more insight into the cast, as well as providing more depth to Edgeworth's role in the game. I do in the future hope to get Maya more involved, as of now it seems that Mia is too big of a crutch still for Phoenix, but I fully expect them to tackle this later on. Thank you to anyone who read this far, I would like to note that I'm not a good writer and this post is probably evidence of that. Just a lot of mindless rambling, but I do find it very fun to be able to summarize my thoughts and put them to text, which in turn makes the game more enjoyable for me. I'll probably try to cut down the writing in future posts this one was really long for no reason. Anyways gotta go buy a tbonesteak or something i needa know what all the fuss is about...

[fakeoutbf]

.

[adhd-disaster-willie]

seventeen and strung out on confusion; chapter 2/4

So, I don’t really like this chapter as much as the other one but it’s fine. :/ I don’t have the patience to redo it, so this is what you get :)

Warnings: Homophobia, child abuse, non-graphic description of wounds, panic attacks

chapter 1

---

Alex didn’t quite know how long he’d been curled up on the sidewalk when a figure began approaching him; but he was shivering and crying and really not in the mood to be murdered. The person may not have been headed directly towards him, but they sure were biking fast in his direction and once again, being kicked out and killed on the same night didn’t sound like much fun. So, swearing underneath his breath, Alex stood up and began jogging away, still unsure of where he was headed.

The bike came barrelling towards Alex but came to a screeching halt immediately after passing him. 

“Alex?!” The person, who had a guitar strapped to their back, hopped off the bike and stumbled towards Alex.

“Luke?” Alex whispered, baffled. “What are you-” But he didn’t get to finish his sentence before Luke wrapped him in a hug, burying his face in Alex’s shoulder. Alex decided not to mention Luke’s damp, red cheeks. 

“Dude, what are you doing?” Luke asked, pulling away.

Alex snorted at that. “I could ask you the same thing.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and began rocking on his heels, counting down the seconds until Luke read him like he always does and Alex had to stop him from marching back up the block and yelling at the Mercers until his voice was hoarse.

“Your parents,” Luke muttered, his voice hardening, bitter. “They kicked you out didn’t they?” Luke didn’t get angry very often. Sure, he got upset and disappointed and frustrated, but he wasn’t one to get genuinely furious. He was now though. Alex grabbed his wrist and shook his head. 

“Yes, but Luke, please don’t.”

Luke narrowed his eyes, but backed off. “I’m gonna kill them,” He hissed beneath his breath.

“Not if you die from the cold. What are you even doing out here?”

Luke grew quiet, his gaze shifting to the ground. “Nothing, nothing I was just… I was headed to Bobby’s. The studio.”

Alex nodded, internally berating himself for not having thought of that. But he didn’t want to bother anyone. Staying in the studio for the night was entirely different from asking to live there. But he didn’t have much of a choice. 

Luke, somehow sensing Alex’s thoughts, sighed. “I’m gonna go grab your bike,”he said, giving Alex a quick hug before turning to walk up the sidewalk.

“Luke, you don’t have to-”

“Nah, I do. I’m not gonna make you go back there, and we sure as hell aren’t walking all the way to Bobby’s.”

“Fine. But you need to tell me what happened!” Alex shouted after him, but he was already far enough to pretend he hadn’t heard anything. 

---

Alex’s hands were practically numb after 10 minutes of biking, and his backpack felt like it had doubled in size. Not to mention the only light was people’s Christmas decorations and the occasional street light, and he’d only ever gone to Bobby’s in the day so he was relying about 80% on muscle memory. All in all, not a great situation. 

“Dude, why the fuck is Bobby’s house so far away?” Alex complained, adjusting his grip on his bike handles in hopes that it’d bring back some sort of feeling in his fingers. 

Luke shrugged. He’d been uncharacteristically quiet the whole ride and was yet to explain why he’d run off in the middle of the night, but Alex knew he’d open up in time… hopefully. If it had to be pried out of him, it would; but Luke was never one to keep secrets. At least Alex leaving in the middle of the night wouldn’t take much explanation, except to Bobby’s parents. No one had dared say it out loud, but for the whole year it’d felt like the seconds Alex had before being kicked out were just slowly running out. And this was the last straw. 

“Can we- can we stop for a minute?” Alex breathed, his legs burning. “I have like, no stamina.”

Luke chuckled weakly, coming to a slow stop. They leaned their bikes on the side of the curb before sitting down, feeling relieved that they recognized the area; it was just a few blocks from Reggie and roughly another 5 minutes to Bobby’s place. 

Alex let out a shaky breath. “It doesn’t even feel real,” he whispered, dropping his head and burying his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “God, they kicked me out.” It was finally settling in and Alex felt sick. “Dad wasn’t even there. It was- it was just Mom and she… She didn’t even seem sorry. She looked at me like I was nothing.” He choked down a sob. “Like I was never her son. I didn’t think she’d ever hate me, but look at where we are now.” Alex didn’t bother fighting the tears this time. His shoulders shook and he brought his knees up to his chest, breathing in slowly in hopes to prevent a panic attack. 

Luke moved in closer, wrapping an arm around Alex’s shoulder and squeezing. “Hey, it’ll be alright. We’ve got each other. And Bobby, and Reggie-”

“Luke, Alex?”

Both boys snapped to attention; they would’ve recognized that voice anywhere.

“Reg?” Luke stood up and took two long strides to meet Reggie, clasping his thin, hunched shoulders. “Shit. Reggie, dude.”

Alex wiped his eyes furiously as he walked over to where Reggie and Luke stood and he once again recognized the pure anger dripping from Luke’s words. Then Reggie moved closer to the streetlight and Alex’s heart plummeted to his feet. 

Reggie’s face was blotchy and pink and his eyes were swollen from crying. His hair was slightly damp and Alex felt sick upon seeing the shards of glass in it. There was dried blood on his cheek and Alex was afraid for him to take his jacket off, but Luke tore it off anyway, inspecting the bruises running up and down Reggie’s forearms and wrapped around his wrists.

Reggie squeaked in protest and snatched the jacket back, his hands shaking.

“They are dead,” Luke muttered coldly. He gestured to both Alex and Reggie. “I am going to actually kill both of your guys’ parents.”

Reggie looked over to Alex. “What did Alex’s parents…” He trailed off, face darkening in realization. 

“Where were you gonna go?” Alex asked quietly, his grip on his fannypack strap tightening. 

Reggie shrugged and went to sit down on the curb. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “But I can’t just leave forever. Sammy… I can’t leave him alone with them.” He shook his head. “I’d hate myself if I just left him there.”

“Olivia moved out last year and left you guys alone!” Luke countered, sitting beside Reggie. “Reg, dude, you can’t stay there!”

Reggie’s expression hardened in a way Alex had never seen. Reggie Peters was basically a human puppy and it seemed Alex had gotten all to used to that fact. “Yea but she knew we had each other, Luke. You don’t get it. Sammy’s just 13, I can’t just leave him. I can’t.” Reggie’s tone grew more hopeless at the last sentence, his lip quivering.

“Fine,” Luke grumbled. “But at least come with us tonight. We’re going to Bobby’s.”

“But what if-”

“No buts. You’re hurt and you smell like beer, we’re not gonna leave you out here.”

“But Sammy-”

“Sammy’ll be ok,” Alex cut in. He squeezed Reggie shoulder and gave a half-hearted smile. “He’s a tough kid.”

Reggie nodded. A quiet sob ripped through him and he buried his head in his knees, leaving damp spots on his jeans from his hair which would probably smell like alcohol for a week.

Alex lay an arm around Reggie’s shoulder and Luke chuckled. “Yea, group hug,” he whispered feebly, joining the embrace.

The temperature was rapidly dropping and Alex could feel Luke shivering and Reggie’s teeth chattering, his own feet growing numb in his shoes. But for just a split second, none of that mattered. He didn’t have to look to know that they were all crying and that Reggies hair was sticking to his cheek and Luke’s guitar case was digging into someone’s shoulder. They were a family. A stupid, dysfunctional, scarily codependent family, but still. It was something.

---

March, 1995

Despite protest, Bobby’s parents had started giving Alex and Luke monthly allowances; claiming that if they were gonna live there, they were family, not guests. Reggie refused to accept the money; he was still returning to his house at least two nights a week for fear that his parents would take their anger out on Sammy. But the money meant that Alex was finally able to get a new hoodie; one that wasn’t too tight around the shoulders and didn’t ride up every time he lifted his arms. It was nice, too. Sure it’d taken a couple months of allowance to buy, but it was soft and comfortable and his favorite shade of pink. 

“Alex,��� Luke whined, drawing out the vowel like a small child begging for candy. “You can’t leave us like this!”

“Luke-”

“It’s betrayal! You- I thought you were our friend!”

“Stop being dramatic,” Alex replied, smacking Luke’s shoulder lightly. 

“Ow.”

“It’s one band practice. If I don’t retake this test, I’ll fail Algebra.”

“Algebra is a stupid subject anyway,” Luke pouted, kicking a rock angrily.

“Bobby’s mom got ice cream,” Alex said. “Now go.” He waved Luke off, smiling impatiently.

Luke trudged away from Alex’s locker and towards the exit, his head hung low. “You’re the worst,” He shouted before walking out of sight.

Alex sighed and chuckled lightly as he turned back to rifle through his locker in search of a pencil; he’d lost his favorite one in English earlier that day (more like Bobby stole it, but same difference). He didn’t like pens because the concept of not being able to fix mistakes was more daunting than it probably should be, and he refused to use any non-mechanical pencils (“Shut it Luke, I’m allowed to be picky about my pencils!”) because he hated having to sharpen them constantly and he had a bad habit of pressing down too hard and breaking the lead. So he couldn't find a damn pencil and Mr. Thomas had said he had to be in classroom by 4:30 if he wanted to retake the test but he couldn’t find a stupid pencil. Alex swallowed and breathed in shakily, glancing up at the clock which seemed to be moving too fast because there’s no way it was already 4:25. Logically, he could just ask Mr. Thomas if he could borrow a pencil, but he didn’t want to be a bother, and he knew there was a pencil somewhere in here. 

Alex cried out in frustration, slipping his backpack from his shoulders and unzipping the small front pocket which he’d reserved specifically for writing utensils. Nothing. Ok. Fine, he’d just borrow one. It isn’t that hard to ask to use a pencil. Right.

Halfway across the hallway, Alex heard snickering drifting from around the corner. He froze and gripped his backpack straps tighter. It was useless, willing himself to keep walking. Not when that laughing was sickeningly familiar. God, Alex hated football players. 

“Awe look he got a new jaaacket.” Someone -Alex refused to try and decipher who- cooed mockingly.

Alex didn’t turn around.

“Y’know when you stopped wearing the other one, we were really hoping your parents had finally beat some sense into you.”

Alex looked at the clock. 4:28. He willed himself to move forward, ignoring the twisting in his stomach. He played out the beat to Now or Never on his backpack straps. 

“Hey! We’re talking to you!”

Why was the hallway so long? Alex had begun to think it had doubled in size since he’d started walking. His hoodie felt too hot all of the sudden and he could practically feel someone breathing down the back of his neck. They were talking to him, but it was muffled, like he was underwater. He tried breathing in slowly. 4:29. His steps quickened. 

“F*g!” 

He couldn’t breathe. Alex couldn’t breathe and he felt like someone had stabbed him in the stomach and was twisting the knife over and over and over again. 4:30. Oh god. They were yelling at him and drawing closer and closer and now he’d missed his chance and was gonna fail algebra and they’d call his parents and then the school would know he’d been kicked out and-

Someone had hit him. He wished he could pinpoint where, but his entire body was numb and throbbing and everything was blurry. He wondered briefly if the shouting was in his head or out of it. And this might be where he could say he’d blacked out, but that wasn’t quite what had happened. He stumbled blindly across the rest of the hall, mostly on autopilot, unable to see through tears and why was he crying??? He never really fainted, but no matter how hard he tried, Alex couldn’t remember what’d happened next. 

---

“Alex!” 

That was Luke, Alex was sure of it. 

“ ‘Lex, come on.” 

Reggie shook Alex’s shoulder and his vision began to clear. Oh. 

“What, why am I in the studio?” He asked frantically. “How did I- my test!” He stood up and not bothering to figure out why he was dizzy, Alex rushed to the doorway. 

“Nope.” Bobby clasped his shoulder tightly and steered him back to the couch. “Sit down, idiot, you almost passed out.”

“Dude, who punched you?” Luke asked, scooting in closer to Alex and gazing furiously at the bruise on his face.

Alex shrugged. “I don’t- I’m not- it’s…”

“Mr. Thomas said you came into his classroom and tried to ask for the test but he wouldn’t let you since you’d just been beat up and then Bobby heard you in the room cause, cause he came up to the school to give you a ride so you didn’t have to walk-”

“Reggie slow down, you’re gonna give him another panic attack!” Luke scolded, swatting Reggie’s chest and shoving him lightly. 

Bobby sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Mr. Thomas is letting you retake the test next week, drink some water.” 

Alex took the glass gratefully and took a hesitant sip. He set the water down and breathed in, settling into the couch, still tense. “ ‘M sorry,” he muttered.

“Sorry? Dude what?” Luke looked at Alex, completely baffled. “What are you apologizing for?”

“I made you cancel practice so I could take my test but I didn’t even take it.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Reggie chided. “We’re not mad at you-”

“Yea it’s whatever asshat punched you that we’re mad at.”

“Bobby, we’re not killing anyone.”

“Yea please don’t get yourself arrested for me,” Alex laughed softly. 

Bobby shook his head and flopped down on the couch beside Reggie. “Fine.”

“Hey,” Luke shook Alex gently. “You want some chocolate? Reg got some of that fancy stuff-”

“No, I draw the line at giving him my chocolates,” Reggie complained, reaching across Alex to slap a hand over Luke’s mouth. “Ew! Dude, you licked me!” Reggie whined loudly as he shook his hand, pretending to gag. “That’s just low.”

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“You’re both stupid.”

Alex let his head fall against the back of the couch, a small smile creeping onto his face.

---

I’m not great at angst, so I’m not quite sure why I thought I’d do well with this fic akhfkldsfh

please tell me if there’s anything else I should add a warning for, I tried to do everything but I could’ve overlooked something. 

chapter 3

chapter 4

[knight-queen]

Lunatic Parade Azusa Mukami–(Chapter 3)

[O1] [O2] [O3] [O4] [Final] [Care for Vampire]

Place: Grimmer Main Street, Wagon Street 

Yui: (For some reason, I was worrying because his behave was rather suspicious… however...)

Vampire Child B: Excuse me. Is there any bouquet of Gerbera here?

Flower Boy: Yes, there are! These are for presents and you need these kinds of flowers, right?

Yui: (Certainly, I have been depressed lately for everything we went through yesterday...but I think my prediction for him was wrong)

Azusa: Eve, I wonder if he’s hiding his real attitude…

Yui: Who knows...I have noticed that he’s behaving much more cheerful than yesterday...

Azusa: As expected...we better...accompany him...right?

Yui: Yeah, it’s important to search where Butler San is but...we just can’t leave him alone.

(What on the Earth shall we do…?)

Flower Boy: Thank you for your efforts. You can go for the bath right now if you prefer.

Yui: Um...but…

Flower Boy: Please, leave the shop to me! It’s because you were always giving a hand until now...

Today, the stall of Kebab will be released at the plaza and definitely look forward to that!

Azusa: ...

Yui: …kh...

Place: ディアマンテの泉 / Diamante Fountain

Yui: ...Haa…

Azusa: Eve...the kebab we get after a long wait...will get cold...

Yui: Oh, you are right.

Sorry. Even though we are having lunch only two of us together...I was making a gloomy expression.

Azusa: No...it couldn’t be helped…

The boy of that flower-shop...I am also confused about... what to do about him…

Yui: I think we will go crazy making a decision…

(Looks like the people who are having meals and conversations nearby are having fun and enjoying themselves...It’s only us who are not enjoying it at all.)

Yui: Huh…? Come to think...that woman?

(I am not sure whether she is that woman from earlier or not but, I am feeling like I’ve seen this woman before…)

Vampire Woman G: ―So, guess what? That guy was screaming, I think?

(I just want to see your smile. That is the only thing that makes me smile too. Won’t you let me meet you again?)

*Continuing conversations* 

Vampire Woman: Right~? It’s making me to laugh...fufu!~

Vampire Woman C: Then? Did you bring him back after all, huh?

Vampire Woman G: No, I didn’t! I want to spoil him one more time!

He said, “If you follow me around like this, I will sue you like a stalker” ya’ know?

Vampire Woman C: Uwaa―… You also do rigorous things like him, afterall~...

Vampire Woman G: I did the right thing! That nonsense boy, he was playing around from the beginning.

Rather, I want him to think it like he is able to play with such a beautiful woman like me.

Yui: (Those women are having conversations about a man…...how cruel…!)

Azusa: Hey...they are talking about...the boy from the flower shop…?

Yui: Yes...it looks like so.

(Their talking’s already enough to make me hurt… moreover, they are having a conversation about him putting on such a smiling face...unforgivable… )

*Yui stands*

Azusa: Eve...why…? Standing up so suddenly…

Yui: Sorry, Azusa Kun. Me...I can’t tolerate this kind of gossiping about him…

Azusa: You can’t...If you want to tell them something...then I will go….

Yui: No, I will go.

*Yui starts walking*

Yui: Um...Can I say something....

Vampire Woman G: Haah? Who’s it, a lil’ girl. Hey, have we met before?

I don’t think I have met such a tiny woman before.

Yui: Are you talking about the boy from the flower shop?

Vampire Woman C: Fu!...Is this girl talking about your ex-boyfriend? Seriously~!

Yui: You are free to ignore your boyfriend’s feelings if you want to, don’t answer to him.

But, talking bad about him by laughing like that…! I don’t think it's a good thing to do…!

Vampire Woman G: Tch!...Annoying. Suddenly appearing out of nowhere and starting to grumble about this?

Won’t you disappear from our sight already? You are a disturbance.

Yui: Impossible…! Apologize to him!

Vampire G: I can’t apologize! It’s stupid to get easily melted just for receiving a little bit kindness from him.

Yui: ...ugh…

Vampire Woman G: What with those eyes? Do you still have any business?

I strongly hate justice minded women like you, ...ya’ know?

Good lil’ girl or whatever, just disappear from here―― AAH!!

Yui: (― I am gonna get hit?)

Azusa: You can’t...I won’t forgive them who will raise a hand pointing at her…

Yui: …!? Azusa kun…

Azusa: You withdraw and step back...I will manage to do something…

Yui: ―...Yes!

Vampire Woman G: You are planning to be “Knight-like”, huh? If it’s the case, then you are ultra super annoying than her!

Vampire Woman C: Two of us were just having fun chatting and you guys are just being troublesome. Why’s that?

Azusa: Your…way of talking was not fun…

Speaking about his feelings... like mud-painting...will turn out bad. That’s all.

Vampire Woman G: Haa? What are you saying? She’s the one who’s the most disturbance.

Vampire C: We meant we won’t withdraw! Do you know that all the complaints we have is about this little girl!

Azusa: I won't accept that.

Because... Yui san is my precious person…

It’s my responsibility to protect...the person I love...if she is facing with evil people

I think...the people who haven’t loved anyone before...won’t understand this spirit…

Vampire Woman G: What’s now...Every single one of you is just raising the facts about the boy that I have thrown away…!

Could it be...that you are just having objections to me because that guy asked you to do so?

Azusa: You are wrong...We are doing it for our own convenience…

He...used to love you...For this...he won’t want you to get hurt…

Same goes for you...you should also...consider to...accompany him more…

If you just continue to hurt others...someday...you will have to...face a critical situation…

Vampire Woman G: ...ugh…

Tch!...I got it. You don't have to say anything.

Vampire Woman C: Hey?...Are you sure?

Vampire Woman G: It’s ‘cuz, they have come here for bending for their own selfish reason. Plus, I am tired now.

Yui: Ah…!

Thank you so much!

Azusa: Yes...Thank you…

Vampire Woman G: .......

What are ya’ saying..? How stupid!?

Really you guys are stupid to go that far for that boy.

Azusa: That’s because...he is a nice person...as far I know…

Yui: We are showing our gratitude for him…

Vampire Woman G: Haa, let’s go.

I don’t want to breathe in the same air.

Vampire C: Isn’t it? Let’s go to our usual cafe~.

Yui: (Even though they don’t understand anything right now, but someday, they should come to realize his feelings.)

Thank you for helping me, Azusa kun.

Azusa: No, you don’t have to thank me...but…

By doing this...we can’t say that he will become...satisfied…

Yui: (Azusa kun…)

Don’t worry...I am sure that he will understand if you explain everything…

Azusa: I wonder…

Flower Boy: ....uuh..*Crying* I understand...everything!...guh, uuh! *Crying*

Yui: Huh? Why are you here...—

Oh no! Are you okay…!?

(Flower boy...His face full of tears is becoming more crumpled…)

Flower Boy: I am sorry…*still crying* I ended up hearing everything…

Azusa: I am so sorry...I couldn’t do anything for you…

Flower Boy: It’s not something like that! Just with those feelings...ugh!...

And also...I am a clear conception now…

I will forget about that person at once…!

I will start finding a new route!

Yui: Now way...which means that you will not continue the flower shop?

Flower Boy: No, I won’t.

I am a dumb who is good for nothing but, together, we were continuing to handle the flower shop in a artistic way.

I was inspired...I will drag myself to work even more…

More importantly, everything you did until now, I must have to thank you for those efforts…

I don’t know whether I will be useful or not, however, please let me join with you for searching Butler san…!

Yui: Thank you so much! Same here, you are very welcome to join us.

*After a while*

Yui: (Like this, we three of us are searching Butler san, but…)

Azusa: Well...I think the best idea will be...to split ourselves into groups…

Flower Boy: Yeah, but remember that he is thought to appear in unexpected places…

Since, at the same time, you have to look for the places where there are strange things at the same time.

Yui: (Places of strange things…)

Flower Boy: I will also have a look one more time at the Saint Honore park, where I saw him yesterday.

You two don't know much details about this street, so, at first, we will divide it into two.

Yui: Then, we will search on the mountain side….

Azusa: Um...come to think of it...I never went there...not even...once…

Flower Boy: In that place, if you manage to find him, then you can use familiars out there to contact me.

Azusa: Yes, understood…

Flower Boy: See you again!

*They split in groups for searching Butler*

Place: 湖 / Lake

Yui: (This is the famous Tilkeys lake...)

(Certainly, this has become a popular date spot for couples…)

Azusa: Even though this place is...quite...but there’s a...lot of people…

Yui: I am somehow...tired…

(As expected...looks like Butler san is not here…)

*Azusa gets closer*

Azusa: Eve, I think that’s…

Yui: That’s a swan boat.

Looks like there’s a huge number of couples who are riding on that. Once two people will swing the paddle, it will take you directly onto the water.

Azusa: Two people…?

…...

Yui: (Azusa kun’s is staring like he has freezed...Did he get interested in that?)

Do you want to ride?

Azusa: Is that okay…?

Yui: It’s fine. We can search Butler san from the lake.

Azusa: Thank you...Eve...

*Fades into CG*

Azusa: Uh!... ...Is it okay like this?

Yui: Yes, it’s perfect I think.

Azusa: Thank you… …. It’s so fun...

Yui: Fufu! That’s true.

(Looks like Azusa lun liked it. I am glad that we were invited for this.)

Azusa: Hey, Yui san… ... Let’s go to the opposite shore now.

Yui: Yea, I got it… ...Oops.

….!Ah! Azusa kun!

Azusa: What is it?

Yui: There is a man who is drinking tea on the opposite shore, his forehead! There is a red Granate

Azusa: Red Granate on his forehead….Butler san!?

*Changed to CG (2)*

Azusa: Let’s go, Yui san….

Since I will paddle.... with all my might. Follow me.

Yui: Follow you?ーー...Ah!?

AAH!

Much faster than before..! Is Azusa kun paddling?

(His paddle is moving too fast...I can’t keep up with this speed…)

Azusa: Try your best. There is … just a little left...

Yui: (ーー! Yes…!)

*CG Fades*

Yui: (ーkh, Phew...Finally we’ve reached the shore...)

Azusa: Eve, hold on...Before going any further...let’s send a familiar to the flower boy.

Yui: Got it.

*Flying sound of bats*

Azusa: Let’s go now, Eve…

Unlike usual days, we can’t chase after him by RUNNING. Don’t let your guard down…

Yui: (Uuh...this time, I have to approach as smoothly as I can…!)

Azusa: Um...excuse me

Butler: Uh… ...It’s you…?

Azusa: I am apologizing at first...I am sorry for chasing after you…

Yui: M-me too!. I am so sorry for suddenly scaring you like this…!

Butler: Ugh…

Azusa: But, we have a serious request to you…

Yui: Anyhow, please accept us as workers for the castle…!

Even if it is an odd job...we will do anything! But let us work for the castle…!

I am begging you…! 

Butler: ...haa…

I am really apologizing but currently, we have enough manpower.

By the way, I am not the authority for labourers. I want you to give up already.

Yui: Such a…

Azusa: I won’t give up…!

I can’t move from here...until I say it to you...over and over again…!

Butler: Even if you say that…

???: Isn’t it fine, if you hire them?

Yui: You are…!

(So, the familiars have reached our message to him successfully.)

Flower Boy: Never mind for interrupting you so suddenly.

I work at a flower shop in the castle town.

It should be fine if you give a little time to listen to our story, right?

Monologueー

[Afterwards, the flower boy opened his mouth to the Butler san.

He said that he has been working for a flower shop for the past few days, but he’s very grateful for the work.]

[The number of customers has increased several times, and the products in the store had a good reputation. 

[If you try that work even though it’s for only one time, you will be able to understand it’s merit…” We all were complimenting him for saying this.]

End of Monologue

Butler: I see. Umm...how many laborers can be available right now…

Azusa: We want to work for the castle in any condition…

Butler: I want to fulfil your wish, but my priority is not sufficient to do it all by myself…

No...By the chance, my manager may have an interest in accepting something...then you may give it a try..?

Azusa: The thing that Earl has interest…?

Butler: Yeah. He has the treasure that is unique in this world...by some chance…

Yui: (What it could be? We don’t have such a treasure…)

Azusa: I understand. Well then...tomorrow...I will bring that treasure with me…

Yui: Wha!?

(He has declared these words without even hesitating...is that gonna be alright!?)

Azusa: Please...tell Earl that...we will meet with him tomorrow…

Best wishes for you…

Butler: Ho...Seeming like you are well prepared.

I got it. I will pass your words to him.

Place: Rubean Canal / ルビーン 運河

Yui: (The view scenery is so beautiful from the gondola…. ) (boat, esp.in Venice)

Umm...Really thank you so much for earlier…!

Azusa: Thanks to you...I was rescued from trouble…

Flower Boy: Nope...it was just a little thank you that I showed.

More importantly, it’s AZUSA SAN who is wonderful! It’s because you accept the deal without any hesitation.

Azusa: Me…?

Yui: ...Oh that’s...at that time, Azusa kun, you were having so much confidence. Do you really have treasure?

Azusa: No...I don’t

Yui: Huh? Then why did you tell him such a thing…!?

Azusa: I didn’t see any chance but this one... in order to help you…

For this...I didn’t want to miss...even though I had to lie…

Yui: (He was thinking it like that...even though in that kind of situation, he thought about me..)

Flower Boy: That’s really amazing…

I also want to become cool like you…

Azusa: I…

Yui: You were cool, Azusa kun.

Azusa: Oh, yes...thank you…

Place: Hotel • Mortstein Guest Room / ホテル • モーントシュタイン 客室

Yui: (Since we come in the parade, I am seeing Azusa’s showing so many unusual sights, I think.)

(He has become more like a man, much more reliable than before…)

(But, these are still the nice Azusa…)

*Azusa appeared*

My new pair of shoes is already dirty.

and me. 

Azusa: What’s wrong, Eve. You haven’t slept yet.

Yui: Ah, sorry for that. You can sleep before me, Azusa kun.

Azusa: I want us to sleep together...I will be awake…

*Azusa hugged Yui*

Yui: ….uuh…

Azusa: So, if you have any distress...tell me...I want to be a little helpful…

Yui: Umm...Actually, there’s nothing which is bothering me or something…

I am always thinking about you...Azusa kun…

Azusa: About me…?

Yui: Yes...I was thinking that, I am seeing a different Azusa than before…

Ofcourse that Azusa kun was friendly but...the Azusa kun of now is much stronger and reliable, I feel…

Azusa: Say...that means I am cool right…?

Yui: Yes, But I think both Azusa kun are nice…

Azusa: Okay, tell me then, Yui san…

*Azusa get more closer*

Azusa: Which one of you do you like the most…?

Yui: Eeh!?

Azusa: I want to know...what are you thinking about it…

Yui: That’s…

Selectionー

I like the Azusa of before

I like the Azusa of now (+Correct)

Yui: Certainly, I used to like the Azusa before, but…

I also like Azusa Kun now…

Azusa: Thank you Eve...I am happy…

Yui: Uuh! Suddenly thanking me like this…

Azusa: You like any side of me, this is why...I'm thanking you…

Yui: That’s…! Despite these, I am also happy that you said something like these to me…

Azusa: Ne~ Eve, what about “this me right now”?

*Azusa undresses Yui*

*Bed creaking sound*

Yui: …!?

Yui: (I was pushed down by Azusa kun!?)

Azusa: Hehe!...I haven't  done it before...looking at you from the above…

Even if you said earlier...I wonder how do you feel...about my unexpected side…?

*Touch her more*

Azusa: Ne~ I want you more…*kiss*

Yui: …nh!?

Azusa: A kiss is not enough for me...Ne~ I want your blood next...nh…

Yui: (ーKh, this time, he’s digging his fangs around my neck…!)

Azusa: Nh…...nnh ...nh...Haa ...

Your face is...turning red...fufu~ how cute…

Yui: ...!?...

(No! It’s embarrassing…!)

Azusa: Don’t refuse...don’t hide your face...just look at me…

You each and every expression is cute...I like only you…

Yui: I also like you, Azusa kun…

Azusa: Yes...Thank you…!

ー The End of Chapter O 3 

[thatgirlwhowrites01]

hot head

part 11 | masterlist

social media au

zuko x reader

this is a very long and fluffy update and I hope it makes up for my lack of posting these past couple days 🥺🥺💕💕💕

Zuko POV

“What is your partner’s name again?”

“Uncle, they aren’t my partner,” carrying a tray of used tea cups towards the back of the shop, I cleared my throat as I set it down by the sink for washing later. “Their name is y/n.” I folded my arms across my chest and faced towards Iroh, a grin displayed clearly.

“You’re telling me that my nephew is doing all this work for a friend?” he laughed.

“I’m doing all this work because you’re letting us stay in the loft,” my hands pointed to the stairs, “Besides, I owe them a favor and they’ve never been to Ba Sing Se, it’s the least I could do.” Which wasn’t a complete lie. I did owe them a favor, after everything I did I’m surprised they even responded to my initial dm. The only problem was keeping uncle out of the loop. He always had a knack for knowing when I was being sneaky and although it was a sense that came in handy when I was a child, as a fully capable adult it has now become annoying.

“What do you plan on doing tonight?”

“Um, I’m not too sure, I’m just planning on showing them the main spots of the city and then maybe some dinner.” I tried to play it off cool, but inside my heart was pounding at a rate far from healthy.

“Just make sure when you guys get back to lock the doors and wash any dishes you use, I’ll be in around nine in the morning tomorrow.”

“I will, don’t worry.” I watched as uncle took the shop key off the hook on the back wall. He tossed it to me with a wink, “Have fun Zuko.”

The shop was now mine for the night and I still had a couple hours before I had to leave to pick y/n up. There wasn’t much left to do since I had been here all day to help with customers and cleaning. I finished setting up the loft early this morning, it wasn’t anything super fancy. A couch that could be folded into a bed was pressed to the side wall and a nice mattress layed towards the back. I set up some fairy lights and a couple lanterns placed on tables around the room to add a relaxed ambience when lit tonight.

I can’t explain the feelings I’m having, nervous? Excited? I’m not sure, it’s hard to say. When Azula first told me about y/n she described them as this ugly, manipulative, mean person. But they aren’t like that at all. I remember when I first watched their video, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of them. They were beautiful, and the way they laughed made me feel warm inside, something I haven't felt in a long time. Azula insisted they were bad, and unfortunately I believed her. When they retaliated against me I didn’t know how to act, it filled me with rage because no one ever retaliates against me. I genuinely did hate them for a while but when the private investigator told me about what happened with their mom I wanted to take everything back. They had already been through so much and I was taking away something that could potentially work out really well. Despite what happened in the past I want this night to be a sort of ‘peace treaty’ if possible.

Y/N POV

The circumstances weren’t exactly ideal.. Zuko, the one who bullied me relentlessly with his twitter fingers was going to be my tour guide of Ba Sing Se for the night. The warnings from Katara and all my other friends wouldn’t leave my head and I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that they were right. I did forgive too easily, but it was too late to cancel and plus I’ve never been to the city before.

I packed a small bag with a change of clothes and a couple miscellaneous items, being unsure of what the night would bring I made sure to pack some pepper spray too. I don’t think Zuko would try to hurt me, but being in a big city with one of the biggest jerks I know I had to come prepared.

It’s nearing five in the afternoon and my nerves are starting to get the better of me. Anytime now Zuko would be here and I’m starting to realize how awful this situation is. I could taste blood in my mouth from chewing on the inside of my cheek, “fuck,” I said while reaching for my phone. Almost on instinct my fingers swiped to Katara’s name in my contacts. The monotone ring droned on until I heard her pick up on the other line.

“Hello?”

“Katara, I’m freaking out, Zuko’s gonna be here at any moment and I don’t know what to do,”

“Hey it’s gonna be okay, are you sure you want to do this? I can always just make up an excuse for you so you don’t have to go?” I can tell she desperately wants me to say yes, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

“No it’s okay, I just really need someone to talk to until he gets here,”

“Okay, I promise it’s gonna be alright. You’ve got a whole army waiting up tonight to make sure you’ll be okay. Sokka, Suki, and Toph are gonna come over to Aang’s house with me and we’re not going to sleep until you’re back at wherever you’re staying.”

“Okay,” I laughed “If I don’t send updates by 11 send someone”

“Will do, Toph said she’s been ready to practice some knew boxing moves”

“Can’t wait,”

Our conversation went on for several minutes until I heard a knock on my door. “Coming!” I yelled and quickly ended the call, rushing to grab my bag. My hand curled around the handle and realization hit when I opened the door to see Zuko holding a bouquet of sunflowers. I smiled “Are these for me?”

“Yeah, I figured it’s the least I could do to make up for stuff.”

“Thank you,”

He seemed different than in his videos. His face was softer and his voice less harsh. I followed him to his car which was, to put it lightly, much nicer than my mini-van. I’m not even a car person but it was polished black with dark tinted windows and red rims, definitely something I could see him driving. He opened my door,  allowing me to slide in and fully appreciate the car. Leather seats accompanied a ‘new car’ smell and the front displayed a touch screen for controls. Shitty person or not, he rides in style.

After pulling away from my apartment the car fills with a low volume of slow RnB, “I’m not too sure if you  have anything specific in mind that you want to do, so I figured I’d show you my favorite parts of the city and grab something to eat, maybe some drinks?”

“That sounds great to me,” I smiled.

The rest of the car ride was silent, but with the mix of the sun close to setting, RnB, and the scenery I didn’t feel the need to talk. For a Friday night the traffic wasn’t that bad, we worked our way through it easily and stopped outside of a tea shop.

“This is my Uncle’s shop, there’s a loft on the top he said we could use for the night.”

“That’s so nice of him,  I’ll have to come back sometime to say thank you.”

I waited behind Zuko as he fiddled with the door. Now that I am standing next to him it was clear how muscular he was. The tight green shirt fit snug around his shoulders and biceps, his back muscles flexed while giggling the door handle. Finally it popped open and my focus changed to the space we were entering. It was cute and tiny, tables lined the walls and the bar had several stools flipped on top. I followed Zuko as he climbed the stairs to the loft.

“I washed and made the bed for you so you don’t have to worry about bugs or  anything,” Zuko pointed to the bed. I walked over to throw my bag down on the mattress “This place is so adorable, I love it!”

“Tea is my uncle's passion, when I was younger and he first started this shop I worked for him. This place is practically my home away from home.” He sat down on the couch facing me.”

I nodded, taking the place in. Fairy lights danced around the ceiling twinkling in a way that was mesmerizing. “Are you hungry?” Zuko asked.

“Is that even a question?” we both shared a laugh, “Come one, I know the best place for some pho.”

***

“And then, I practically threw up all over the place!” I laughed uncontrollably through my mouth full of pho,  “I can’t believe that,  in the middle of church?!” Zuko’s comment made me laugh even harder. “I swear! My mom was so mad it took everything in her power to not to drag me out by my hair!”

The night was going incredibly well. After a couple awkward ice breakers we somehow got on the subject of disappointing our parents and now we were the loudest table in the restaurant. Zuko was so much easier to talk to than I expected, and we had a lot in common.

“Excuse me, but would you and your partner like any dessert?” I was too busy laughing, I didn't even see the waiter approaching.

“Oh, they aren’t my partner.” I couldn’t help but snort which in turn made Zuko start laughing again, “I think we’re ready for the check if that’s alright” he said with as much composure and he could muster. I waited until the waiter was out of sight, “Partner” I snorted again. “Hey, the guy was just trying to find out if you were single,” I rolled my  eyes at Zuko’s comment. “Whatever..”

“It’s the truth! I bet everytime you go out you’re bombarded with people trying to get  with you!”

“Mhmm for sure, but I only  grace them with attention if they can guess my favorite color.”

“What’s your favorite color?” Zuko stared at me, rolling his lips to hide his smile.

“Why would you want to know? Are you trying to gain my attention?”

“I just want to make sure I know who I’m dealing with, they say you can learn a lot from people’s favorite color you know..”

“And who exactly is ‘they’?” I asked while crossing my arms.

“I prefer to keep that a secret.” He said while mimicking my stance.

We laughed together again at the stupidity of our argument. The waiter came back with the check and I reached for the cash I brought but before I could even get it to the table Zuko handed him a few $20’s telling him to keep the change. Warmth rose to my face “Thank you, I could’ve at least split it with you,”

“No worries, this is your trip and I wanna make it special.” he smiled, “Come on, there’s something I want to show you.”

We began walking the silent streets of Ba Sing Se, I admired all the little shops along the way. There was so much to do here and so many different people to meet. I think I have fallen in love with the city. When we came upon a small turn Zuko asked me to close my eyes.

“Why?” I smiled, I didn’t really care for the reason but I enjoyed teasing him.

“Just do it,”

With my eyes closed he grabbed my hand. I felt a jolt of energy race through my body. His hands were warm and calloused and much bigger than mine. The same warmth I felt at dinner returned as I tried suppressing my smile to no avail.

“You’re gonna love this.” he said, I could almost see his grin in my imagination. As he guided me I could hear water splashing and turtle ducks quacking. I was so excited I almost opened my eyes. Eventually he stopped me, “Can I open my eyes now?” I asked, wanting to know what he had led me to. “One sec,”

He shifted behind me, I could tell he was standing close because the heat radiating off of his body touched the back of my neck. “Okay, open.”

I was greeted with the sight of a beautiful fountain lit from all around, I felt like I had entered another world. It was so beautiful, the lights reflecting off the water made it even brighter. “What do you think?”

“Zuko, this is so pretty. I love it”

“I’m glad, this is one of my favorite spots. Especially at night.”

“I can see why,”

He made his way right next to me. We were standing so close our fingers grazed each other. I smiled at him nervously, unsure of what to do. “Do you want to feed the turtle ducks? I’ve got some bread”

“Yes!!” I said while practically running towards the animals in the fountain. I sat on the ledge which was a bit wet but not uncomfortable and Zuko took a seat next to me pulling a bag out of his pocket. He handed me a couple pieces to throw into the fountain and I wasted no time throwing it in.

They swarmed the area close to us splashing water as they ate. Zuko and I krept closer and closer together, if I moved my head it would bump into his shoulder.

I felt his hand fall on top of mine and I looked up. His eyes looked into mine and fell to my lips, the tension building had me leaning closer. His hand came up to gently cup my cheek while my eyes fluttered closed. Our lips met  with a heat, my breath caught in my chest due to the sudden sensation.

The kiss was slow, but short. This was better than the kiss Haru and I shared back at Aang’s grandparent’s house. This was electric and made me feel something.  We pulled away, my forehead falling on his. I could feel my heart beating through my chest.

This felt right.

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[another-emotional-wreck]

My Only Sunshine -- chapter 1

Warnings: Mentions of blood, language

Word Count: 2.5k

Author's note: this fic takes place during 1983 but I need to clarify some things. In this universe, DOFP never happens because Peter was born in ‘66 instead of ‘56 to avoid anything weird between him and OC. Also, while the events of First Class take place, Erik eventually just comes to stay with the X-men and lives there full-time. He’s still Peter’s father, it just happens later than it does in canon, and no one knows yet.

Nyah Walker's physical appearance for anyone who wants it :)

1 | 2 |

***************************************************************************

We passed through the front gates and I sighed once again. I was already pissed, and the gloomy weather really wasn’t helping.

My dad rolled his eyes at my attitude. “It’s for your own good, Nyah. Not just yours, but for me and your siblings, too.”

“I know,” the sound was muffled from behind my fist. The trees were blurry and covered in snow as we drove down the path leading to the school. “Couldn’t we have waited till the end of the school year, at least?”

“You know the answer to that question.”

I turned towards the window again, hating the fact that he was right. The school was a large part of why I was in this situation in the first place, but it didn’t matter. I don’t even know what really happened-- how come I got expelled just cause the school didn’t wanna believe me?

The rest of the car ride was silent, but the falling snow brings a feeling of peace over the awkward quiet. We finally reach our destination and I see a building that looks as if it was built in the decades before I was born. I stepped out of the passenger side and somehow the building managed to practically double in size. The sky seemed to be getting darker and the building started to lean over me and I got dizzy up at it and it wasn’t until my dad greeted the man in front of us that I snapped back to reality.

My dad extended his hand to greet a man in a wheelchair. “Grayson Walker,” he said.

“Professor Charles Xavier.” He smiled, and it seemed genuine.

Just behind Charles stood another man wearing a dark brown vest under a beige jacket. He was fidgety, and couldn’t meet my eye for more than about a second.

While I studied the man, Charles stuck his hand out to me. It took a nudge from my dad to realize that he was trying to get my attention.

“And your name is?” He asked politely.

I hesitated before speaking. “Nyah Walker.” Sure, Charles seemed nice enough, but there was something about him that seemed strange. Not bad, just different-- as if he were hiding something.

“Wonderful to meet you, Nyah. The man behind me is Hank McCoy.”

“Hello, both of you.” He offered a small smile which I couldn’t help but return, but even he seemed to have something else on his mind.

“I suppose we ought to get inside,” the Professor broke the silence, turning the joystick on his wheelchair. “I’d hate for any of you to catch a cold.”

Despite the bitter cold, I had completely forgotten about the snow. Wrapping my coat tighter around myself and adjusting the bag on my shoulder, my dad and I followed Hank and the Professor through the doors of the mansion.

The place managed to look bigger on the inside than it outside. A staircase in the back of the main hall split in two directions, leading to what I assumed was the dorms and classrooms. Hank and the Professor led us farther down to an office, having both my dad and I take seats on the same side of the desk.

“So,” the Professor began. “Nyah, if you wouldn’t mind, could you walk us through what exactly happened that day?”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. “Take your time,” said Hank. “it’s uh-- it’s not something that’s easy for everyone to talk about.” At that, he gave the man next to him a pointed look.

“Right...” I began. It definitely took me a little while longer than it should have to gather my thoughts. “Well, uh. About a month ago I got into an… altercation. Some prick--” my dad made a point of clearing his throat. “A kid from my homeroom, Jackson Dill, made some sick joke about my mom.”

I noticed Charles rest his chin on his fist. “I swear I’m not an angry person, but he just kept pushing. Saying stuff about how funny it was that my mom was dead, cause usually, it’s the dad who’s gone in families like mine.”

Hank looked confused. “Families like--” Charles cleared his throat and glared at Hank.

“I did my best to keep my cool. My friends came to my defense cause the teacher just so happened to not hear anything, but it still ended with me storming out of the classroom. Naturally, my teacher chose that time to look up from her papers and followed me out. Not sure how, but I ended up in the bathroom. The halls were pretty dark, so maybe I just lost my way?”

My gaze slowly moved from the men in front of me to my shoes and my voice got quieter as I began to mutter more to myself. “Honestly-- the more I think about it, the more I realize that I don’t even remember walking from the classroom to the bathroom.”

Hank opened his mouth to speak, his brow furrowed. The Professor held his hand up. “Let her finish, Hank.”

My stare flickered between the two before I continued. “Instead of locking myself into a stall like someone with common sense, I was hunched over the sink. My head was spinning and my stomach was churning and I had heard of people seeing red when they get angry enough, but that felt like something so much worse.”

There was so much darkness, I could hardly lift my head enough to look in the mirror and see that my eyes were all red and my hair was everywhere-- I think my nose might have been bleeding, not sure though. The most noticeable thing was that the lights started flickering…” My words petered out at the end of the sentence.

Was this even worth going over again?

“What’s the matter?” The Professor asked when I stopped. “Is that all?”

“No,” I muttered. “It’s just that things get a little… hard to believe from this point. I don’t even think my dad believes me.”

“That’s not true Nyah, I just--”

“Yeah. You just think I don’t know what I’m talking about. I get it.”

The two men in front of us looked mildly uncomfortable, so I took that as my sign to keep talking. “There was no weird weather or anything. Actually, it was pretty nice for December, so the weird thing with the lights went out outta nowhere. It wasn’t until a while later that I began thinking that the flickering might have been caused cause of me.”

God, my mouth was so dry. Since when did my heartbeat get that loud?

“The school says that what got me expelled was what happened to the teacher who came after me. In my defense, no one really liked her. She was always rude and her class was hard for no reason other than the sake of being difficult.” My dad, never one to appreciate my jokes, glared at me.

I sighed. “The point is, she came into the bathroom and grabbed my arm. I’ve never been a huge fan of being touched in the first place, and the fact that I felt like my body was being turned inside out wasn’t exactly helping.”

“Almost automatically, as if-- like I knew what I was supposed to do-- my eyes locked on her shadow-- don’t ask me why cause I don’t know. The next thing I knew, she was on the opposite side of the bathroom, unconscious. My eyes grew wider than I ever thought possible and in an instant, I was back in the classroom. Things were back to normal, except my teacher was gone and the entire school was pitch black.

Things happened. The teacher claimed that I shoved her-- as if I could throw her all the way across the bathroom, and the final decision was to expel me without pressing charges. About two weeks after all of that, my dad got a call from someone saying that they could help me.”

The whole thing was insane. Everyone was talking about it, especially how Mrs. Rio came out of it with a fractured spine and I just-- appeared in the back of the classroom looking shaken and sporting a bloody nose.”

The last time something like this happened, some kid blasted a hole through the stalls in the boys’ bathroom.

Hank and the Professor looked at each other for a while, seeming to have an entire conversation with nothing but their eyes.

Bits of words and phrases came out of their mouths.

“She’s… than anything we’ve…”

“But are we sure we… nothing’s ever…”

“We’ll just have to… and… as we go.”

My dad broke into the conversation. “Excuse me,” I could hear the impatience in his voice. “What’s going on?”

“Well, she’s enrolled.” The Professor said finally, turning towards me. “That is if you’d like to be.”

*********

“You’d be allowed to leave whenever you choose, of course.” The four of us walked in line with the Professor. “We would never make you do anything against your will, but I do hope you understand that everything we do here is for your safety.”

“Of course,” I said. “I understand.”

The bell rang signaling the end of the school day. Kids of all ages flooded the halls and at that moment I couldn’t help but think that I may have been in over my head. The students here used their mutations so… freely.

Apparently, I said that last part out loud. “Yeah,” Hank smiled at the passing students. “No one’s shunned here, Nyah. You’ll be in an environment where you can learn and grow along with everyone else.”

My dad turned to me. “I think these people will be good for you. Might as well try it out, right?”

A grey blur flew past us making everyone’s hair and clothes blow everywhere.

“Yeah,” I croaked. “Might as well.”

*********

“And this is your new room!” the white-haired girl smiled at me warmly as she stood in front of the open door.

I nodded awkwardly, taking in the room. It was small enough for me, with the bed in the corner and a window that had a view of the yard-- full of children running around in winter coats and laughing.

A little boy caught my eye. His head was tossed back and his mouth was open, and it took me a moment to realize that it was still snowing and that he was trying to catch snowflakes on his tongue.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself, which I immediately stopped once I noticed Ororo staring at me awkwardly. “Thanks again, uh--”

“Ororo. Ororo Munroe.”

“Thank you, Ororo.” I tossed my duffel bag on my bed and plopped down right next to it. Ororo still stood in the doorway, almost unsure.

“Everything alright?” I asked.

“Of course,” she said, her smile fading slightly. “It's just that you seem, uh, nervous.”

I thought I had been hiding it well enough. “How’d you know?” I asked. “Is knowing people’s emotions your, what’s it called? Your uhm…”

“My mutation?” She grinned at my sheepish nod. “No, but would you like to see it?”

I nodded again. God, I felt like a little kid, barely knowing what to say or using my words.

Ororo’s grin managed to grow even bigger. “Watch this.”

Her feet left the ground and she crossed her legs under her. A ball of lightning formed in her hands and grew as she expanded them. Her smile grew into a frown as she concentrated on making it bigger, eventually making it the size of her head. She clapped her hands together just as her feet came back to the ground, sparks flying like fireworks.

I clapped in excitement as Ororo took an overdramatic bow. I giggled once again as she walked over to me, her eyes asking for permission to sit. I nodded.

“So what exactly is your mutation?” My smile faded and Ororo’s face grew worried. “Oh no, I’m not trying to pressure you! You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, I was just--”

I smiled slightly. “It’s alright, I just have no real idea how to explain it.” a sigh left my lips as I fell back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Feeling Ororo do the same next to me, I turned towards her.

“It’s only happened a few times since the incident at school. I still don’t know how my teacher ended up against the wall on the other side of the bathroom, but I swear I don’t remember touching her.”

She thought for a moment. “Telekinesis maybe? I know someone who can do that.”

“I’m not sure.”

“Wanna try it?”

*********

I had been staring at the pencil in front of me for about five minutes before I turned to Ororo in exasperation. “I feel stupid.”

“Yeah, you don’t look much better.” Ororo deadpanned.

I shot her an annoyed look and she raised her hands in mock surrender.

“Alright, alright. Just sayin’.”

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Welp, telekinesis is off the table--”

“Same thing goes for mind-reading, elemental manipulation, teleportation--”

“Yeah, okay, I get it.” I snapped.

Ororo looked mildly annoyed at my reaction before her gaze softened. “Hey, we’ll figure it out, you just need time.”

“That’s easy for someone who both knows how to use and enjoys having their powers.”

She snorted. “I’m not exaggerating when I say it took me years to become comfortable with my abilities. I was terrified of who I was-- what I was-- for so long. But here, while it has its flaws, I felt at home. Accepted. Being around people like you can do so much more than you think.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “I guess you’re right.”

Ororo looked at me for a moment before shooting up from where she sat. “I have an idea!” Her eyes were wide and I could see the gears in her head turning.

“Something tells me I should be worried…”

“No no, it’ll be fine, but I just remembered--” somehow, her eyes managed to grow wider than before. Something about her eagerness to try whatever she had in mind was slightly unsettling. “Whenever new students are having trouble using their powers for the first time, the Professor will make them feel whatever they were feeling the very first time their mutation emerged.”

“Wait a minute.” I squinted, trying to figure out exactly what she was getting at. “So you--”

“Think we should try and replicate the emotions you were feeling the day your mutation first arose? Yes. Yes, we should.”

“But… you don’t have any sort of mind control. How are we gonna do that?”

“I’ve already got that figured out!”

Ororo took one look at my anxious face and rolled her eyes playfully. “You’ll be fine. There’s just someone I need you to meet.”

[mnxxlove]

POURED DAISIES #1 #2

Pairing: Harry Styles

Prompts:

11; multi chapter

16; just fluff

20; soulmates as friends or lovers

AU; picnic date

AU; rainy day

Word Count: 3327

Summary: It’s late September, Y/n and Harry have decided to make a picnic, in one of their favourite locations. He has been away for almost six months, having also on count that he has been really busy working in his new album. Reader supposes that they were going to do such as the other times, having a snack, listening to some music singing with his guitar, and even if it sounded unbelievably corny, taking pictures of themselves there. But he had in mind prepared something more exciting.

warnings: a lot of fluffiness, a bit of angst but it’s a little I promise.

author’s note: I wanted to make this short story because I’ve been trying to search for anything alike, but sadly, as far as I know, there weren’t any fanfiction or imagines. But no worries, I made one myself. For the moment, it only will have two chapters. If you want me to tag u, please tell me 🌼

•From me; to all of you. 🥰

gif not mine

It was Friday in the afternoon, he was driving on it’s way to her house, and as much as Harry desired that day to be as sunny as possible, it was actually very much cloudy. But still, that wasn’t enough of an excuse for them to cancel their most wanted date. They have been apart for almost six months. And although they used to call each other every few days, they still had to work, which was always a big issue that kept them separated for a long period of time… But luckily, he has already finished the album which he had taken some time in. And knowing that he was going to be back in town, they decided to make plans, but somehow what, at the end he couldn’t make it. She was a bit disappointed, but not angry as he expected her to be. And even when she made clear, the fact that it was fine, he knew it wasn’t. And that she was just trying to be kind with him, something that he really appreciated, although he just right deep down, just knew it wasn’t right...

His thumbs played cheerfully on the black leather wheel, while he enjoyed the instrumental of one of his favourite songs. Harry was feeling calmed, but at the same time, he could swear that if happiness was his superpower, he would be already touching the grey clouds of the sky. There was a sweet grin, curving his thin lips most of the time, but he couldn’t help but giggle, once so often to himself. He was feeling like a complete teenager, and it has been so long, ever since the last time, he has ever felt that way. Part of him wanted to scream of excitement, but the other part just wanted to run and hide under his bed, just when he used to do when he was younger. But he knew, he needed to do it. They made plans two weeks ago, but he got distracted with his family, and knowing he wouldn’t be able to make it, he warned her five hours before the hour they chose, to meet each other at the cafeteria. He felt bad for it, but he wanted to spend the rest of the day with his family, most specifically his sister, which was going to go on vacation for a few days. When he cancelled their plans for that day, Harry thought about giving her an excuse, but at the end, he just apologised. But he was going to compensate her today. He just asked her if it was possible for her to be out for the rest of the day and to dress comfy. Y/n had no idea where he was going to take her to, and she hated surprises so badly, and he knew it, which it was even funnier for him to do so.

Her neighbourhood wasn’t far away from his childhood house, but he still insisted on picking her up. Even if they were only ten minutes away, he always used to take the long way to her house, and even though he always did it, she still made it after him. Y/n always being the one finding him parked outside her house. But this time was different. He didn’t take the long road, he went for the shortest one instead. However, even if he was already picturing himself waiting for her outside the car.

The moment his car passed by, he saw her sitting on the porch waiting for him. Her hair was longer, and as she had told him a few months ago, she had lost a little weight, because of the stress that she needed to deal with, these past few months. A lot of stuff happened, he left and she stayed, but their lives kept going and the world kept rotating. Meaning, that it has been longer than he ever expected. Harry didn’t even think about it, and he parked the car. Making her to immediately raise her chin. Clumsily, he got out of his car and once he got out, he closed it behind him, Harry walked rapidly towards her, and so did she, almost tripping on the way. Laughing, they embraced each other.

“Oh my god! You look lovely, Harry.” She mumbled, her voice being way more higher-pitched than normal.

Harry was having his back a bit bend, because of their noticeable, different height difference. Arms kept her close to his chest, his chin was rested on her left shoulder, whereas Y/n kept herself closer to him, her short arms passed by his back, the sleeves of her oversized cardigan hiding her wrists. She was having her head rested on his chest, and meanwhile she was having her eyes closed and a big grin marked on her face, he was having his eyes closed while he just couldn’t help but to feel himself fade away with the sweet smell of her perfume.

“I missed you like crazy.” Harry whispered, while caressing her back with one of his hands.

Just after that, they didn’t say anything else. And it was at that precise moment, that they then, began to feel alright again. Not just the feeling of home came back just to him, but for her again. And even if she wouldn’t ever admit it out loud, she needed him more than ever. There wasn’t anyone that could be compared, and if that was possible they weren’t interested in finding it. Both feeling flustered, just decided to break the long embrace, they formed a few minutes ago.

On one hand, he was grinning, a big smile from ear to ear. His green eyes shining, bright as crystal, letting her know that he was moved by the situation. And on the other hand, she just looked at him in the same way, but the only difference was that she was hiding her big smile behind her hands, that were pressed together and just placed on her mouth shyly. Harry let out a chuckle which Y/n shared too. Bowing his head a bit, he just took a step towards her, to then, holding both her hands. It felt unbelievably good being together again, and they just looked at each other happily. Harry stretched their arms, and he saw her up and down and he just smiled, heart eyes staring directly to her.

“I was tired of looking at pictures. It’s just not the same...” He affirmed softly, which just made her to bow her head to a side, shocking her head.

They couldn’t picture each other as a third person would, but if they could, they would definitely melt.

They looked like children in love, and they had no idea.

“Where are you taking me?” She giggled, walking straight to the co-pilot seat that was on the right side of the car. Harry didn’t give her an answer. He just limited himself to hum while rolling his eyes instead.

Y/n not getting anything back, she turned around on her feet, now staring at him in the eyes, her head being now raised. Before saying anything, he stared at her, his eyes narrowed.

“I can’t tell.” He gasped and she nodded, letting out a sigh.

“Hey, it is alright. You’ll love it!” His voice softened this time. Y/n knew, that he was aware that she hated surprises. But he did it only because he knew she’d love it… And that is mostly the only excuse he always had in mind, to make her a surprise.

“Trust me, love.” He added, now helping her with the door. Y/n gazed at him, eyes now narrowed.

She was feeling quite too intrigued but still, she had no idea where they were going or even, what they were going to do… Once, Y/n was in, she turned her head, and she saw on the backseats his guitar, with a green notebook and a purple pen. She wondered if there’s a chance that he has been writing or composing lately. But knowing it was private, she preferred to not ask. When he opened the door, she just pretended to put on her seatbelt, to then, staring up at him.

The ride didn’t feel long, or at least, thirty minutes beside him felt like that. The car was silent, the only thing that it could be heard was the music sounding, leaving it as a good background music.

It was delicate and it felt slowed down... Being with him felt peaceful, loving and exciting such as it always felt like it. If it weren’t because they have made memories not including each other, it would feel like they have never gotten separated. Harry loved it. Being with her again felt fresh and homelike, but even if it felt heart-whelming, it also was heartbreaking, just thinking that he would be gone again in a few months. Which by just having that kind of thought running around his mind, made his mood to change drastically. He wasn’t smiling anymore, and he was now looking straight at the highway and it’s traffic signs. His jaw was tightened and a frown was formed within seconds.

“What’s wrong?” Her voice disconcerted him, making him turn his head, to gaze at her for a split of a second.

“It’s just… Everytime I come back, it makes it harder for me to go.” He let out a deep sigh.

She wasn’t expecting that answer, which at first left her speechless, but she then just placed her cold hand on his, which was placed on the gear lever. Y/n understood how difficult it could be for him. He was alone most of the time, and the only close persons he really had after his family was her. And sadly, they were always far away from him, which always broke him.

“One day, you’ll have to go and never come back in a longer period than just six months…” She added, thinking it would be good. But she was wrong.

“Are you trying to make me sadder?” He cut her ironically, having both his eyebrows raised in expectation.

“Of course not, you silly... I’m just saying that sooner or later, you’ll find the way to get away with this.” Y/n continued, but he just scoffed mentally.

“I’ll never find a way to get away with this. This my home, and it’ll always be my home. The people I love the most are here. And I’ll never forget it.” Harry affirmed, her hand slightly gripping his own.

“...I missed you too.” She suddenly said, copying the same four words he had told her, when his arms were embracing her tightly. Harry just opened his hand, his fingers stretching before her hand, so she could intertwine her fingers with his own.

Before they would notice, they were already approaching the old field, they were used to go often, when they were way much younger. At some point they just decided to stop going. Which they didn’t even know when that happened... The last time they went there was a day before he left London, and it’s been six months. They expected it to look the same, mostly her, but it looked differently... It wasn’t freshed cut as always. And it seemed that it had bloomed flower, after all.

“This cannot be real. You really got us back here?” She told, eyes staring straight at her window.

Harry hearing how happy she turned, it made him happy too. But, somehow, that mix of nostalgia couldn’t fade away...

Just when he parked the car, both got out of the vehicle. And they helped each other place everything up. Just when everything was placed, they sat down on the big white cloth.

“I wanted it to be sunny, but the Sun just decided to not cooperate today.” He scoffed, to then take the basket that was just at the edge from where they were sitting.

“I like it cloudy.” Y/n smiled, not taking her eyes off the field. Feeling herself free, she closed her eyes and calmed, she breathed in deeply, to then letting out all the air. The dampness in the air mixed with the smell of flowers and glass made her smile. And Harry noticed, not helping it but grinning, too then looking down. He opened a few crystal Tupperwares, and he left them there, the tape just being left on. There were seasonal fruits, such as blueberries, the seeds of the pomegranate and white grapes which were their favourite. They were also sandwiches and cookies which he dedicated to prepare just for themselves. And knowing how much she loved the cake he always prepares, he brought some just for her.

“Oh, I love you, I freaking love you.” She repeated after taking a bite of the cake. Harry just let out a guffaw once she told that.

“I know you’d like it.” He laughed.

“I meant you, but ok.” Y/n joked, blinking in surprise.

Still eating, she saw how he grabbed his Polaroid camera, and before he would take the picture she just tried to pose, her eyes were wide opened, both her hands holding the little piece of cake with frosting on it.

It was a surprise picture, and even if she wouldn’t like it, she knew it would be a memory and she really didn’t care if she looked bad or anything, because they were the only ones who had those pictures.

“Does it look good?” Y/n joked, leaving the rest of the cake inside the Tupperware, to then, cleaning her hands with a paper tissue that was inside the basket.

“Adorable.” He affirmed, and she just shocked her head.

The minutes passed and within the sky turned way more darker, letting them believe that it was possibly that it was going to rain. But they just didn’t care.

“I thought about it... I brought a parasol, don’t worry.” He added, rapidly standing up from the cloth, to then getting closer to the car. Y/n turned her head around, to look at him. Without thinking if he would require any help, she just stood up.

Luckily they put it on, and sat just when it felt like it was about to rain. And that’s when he then decided it was going to be an excellent moment to take his guitar, at first he started to improvise, but he then decided to take it seriously. She was laying down, on the white cotton fabric cloth, using both her forearms as a pillow. His voice sounded deep but soothing at the same time. And it was relaxing to hear him sing with the rain in the background. He had his eyes closed most of the time, or at least they were until she took the camera to then take a picture of him. When the flash sounded he opened his eyes abruptly, to then getting flustered, her cheeks flushed.

“Just stop your crying, It'll be alright.. They told me that the end is near. We gotta get away from here. Remember, everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere. Somewhere far away from here... We never learn, we've been here before. Why are we always stuck and running from.. The bullets, the bullets…?” He sang, his voice mixing with the raindrops collapsing to the waterproof parasol.

It was heavenly peaceful, and she couldn’t stop staring at him.

“...Wanna join me?” He continued playing, and she just nodded, but just after Harry gave her the signal to sing the chorus, the cold wind brushed the field. The smell of lavender embraced them, and not expecting it, luckily they were lucky enough to behold the most wonderful thing, such as how millions of daisies were plucked, and just flew towards them, leaving them having the white cloth covered with daisies and a few lavenders. They looked amazed, it was the very first time in their entire lives that they’ve ever seen that happen in real life. And even if they got a bit wet because of the wind mixed with rain, they loved it still.

Harry stopped playing his guitar, just at the exact moment the flowers started to fly. It was one of those special moments, which anyone would like to take a picture of, to remember it. But they just stared at it hopeful, trying to keep that feeling of freedom and live. Keeping his breath, he left his instrument aside, to then look at her. She just stared at her, eyes wide opened.

She looked beautiful, her hair wasn’t disheveled as she expected it to be. It was more likely brushed, and left falling behind her back. But what she wasn’t able to see was that there were petals and a few flowers lying on a few strands of her hair.

“Do not dare to move.” He demanded which made her stay firm but scared at the same time.

“Do I have a bug on my hair?” Y/n low voice stuttered.

Harry just took the camera and took a pic of her.

“Two bugs?...-Three??” She continued, still being scared. Y/n tried to touch her hair with her fingertips, but was too unsure to touch it. Harry then held both her hands and made her approach. Y/n just took a few steps with both her knees and she then sat in front of him.

“Take it off, please.” She sighed, closing her eyes tightly. Which he just found completely adorable.

Delicately, he collected the petals and the few flowers that were still in her hair, and he left them on one of the palm of his hands.

“Look.” Harry added, showing her his hand. But she didn’t look at it.

“Are you crazy? I’m not going to look!” She overreacted, which made him smirk.

“Ok… Then, smell it.” He affirmed, making her frown ironically. Sighing, she just bowed her head and not after swallowing hard, she then moved her head towards him, her chin being now raised. Harry just held one little daisy and he took it carefully near her nose.

Shyly, Y/n smelled the flower and just let out a chuckle.

“It’s a freaking flower!” Y/n laughed, opening her eyes.

She felt embarrassed but she just decided to laugh while lowering her head.

“You had this all over your hair.” Harry smiled, looking down at the flower. He rounded it on his fingers, making the white petals dance, repeatedly in circles.

Without thinking about it, she just stood up on her knees to then embrace him. Harry didn’t expected her to do that, and even if for first seconds he could be able to hold her, he just let himself fall backwards, having her held tight to him. They spend more than five minutes just laughing to themselves, and they then just stay in that same composure for a long period of time.

Both his arms were placed around her back, and once in a while he would caress her back trying to comfort her. Meanwhile, on the other hand, she was resting her head and chest on him.

“Do you wanna stay the night at my place?” He whispered and she just raised her head now finding him looking down, so he could see her. Y/n just nodded her head slightly. They kept eye contact for a split of a second, to then hide her face in his brown jumper. Feeling a bit awkward, she tried to move but Harry didn’t let her.

“I don’t wanna leave. Not just now.” He sighed, his chest lowered after her.

“Just one more minute…” Harry added lowly, while looking straight up to the clouds, who were still looking dark-grey and dense. Y/n didn’t hesitate, in fact she liked to be with him like that. And she didn’t want the seconds and minutes to pass. But it always did.

[marwritesgood]

Match | O. Diaz

Pairing: Oscar x Finnie!Reader

Timeframe: Season 2 - Season 3 (SPOILERS)

Summary: It’s hard what they have had to go through, but they’ve always had each other.

masterlist

A/N: lemme make one thing clear, siblings who have had to assume parental roles in their younger sibling’s life because of incompetent parents are nothing to glamourise or sensationalise. that shit is so hard and so unfair on everyone involved, because it robs so many kids of the luxury of getting to be a kid. no one deserves to have to grow up so fast. i am so touched by how this was represented this season. cheers xox

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Monse was packing a bag and really about to make a decision I could already tell she would live to regret. With Cesar and her broken up, and out last conversation being a tumultuous argument, it seemed she didn’t care about the people she was leaving behind.

“Are you really gonna keep ignoring me, Monse?”

My little sister turns to glare at me, only to turn back around and zip her bag up, before placing the strap over her shoulder. For the past few weeks, she said all but two words to me (”fuck you”), the rest of our communication were made up of me talking and her glaring holes through all the sides of my head.

“Dad?” Monse calls out, as she heads into our kitchen, with me following after her. Our dad was drinking a mug of coffee, when he turned up to see us standing on the opposite side of our kitchen island. “Can we go now? I’m starting to sense a negative presence in the room”

“Oh grow up,” I retorted, folding my arms as once again, Monse spoke of me indirectly, but glared at me in the most direct way possible.

“Actually sweetie,” my dad began, before awkwardly reaching for the car keys in his pocket, and handing them to me as he continued. “I’m gonna let Y/n drive you there.”

Monse may as well have thrown a full-blown tantrum with the way she scoffed aloud, crossed her arms and stormed off to where my dad’s car was parked. I predicted that perhaps Jamal’s dramatic tendencies were beginning to rub off on her.

The first few minutes of the car ride were silent. Monse had opted to listening to music as opposed to listening to me, but when her phone died, I quietly thanked the universe for giving me a chance to make amends with my sister.

“Monse?”

“What?” She answered harshly, turning her head to the view outside her window as opposed to looking at me.

“... I’m sorry, okay?” She shifted her posture so she was sitting taller, and glanced my way for a split second- sure sign that she was willing to listen to me, finally. I wasn’t one to be the first to say sorry, Spooky could tell you all about that. “You have a right to know who our mom is, and I shouldn’t have tried to stop you from finding out.”

Monse nodded, which was enough for me to feel lighter now that things were better between us. The next few minutes were silent against, but it was far more bearable this time around.

“She’s changed you know,” Monse whispers only just loud enough for me to hear. And just like that, my heart dropped. I was so afraid of her getting hurt, but it seemed like she was already setting herself up for that without even realising. “You could stay for dinner... See it for yourself.”

I sighed. I wanted to be honest with Monse. I wanted to tell her the brutal truth about what happened between our parents from the time we were born to the time she left us for good. But seeing how happy Monse was, packing her things and looking to spend time with the one person she’s yearned to know for so long. What kind of a person would I be to ruin that for her?

“Maybe another time, Mon.”

That’s all I needed to say for Monse to drop the topic. The fact that I didn’t respond in an outrage was enough for her, it seemed. Little did she know how hard it was to keep myself from yelling and bawling both at the same time.

Once we got to Julia’s house, I helped Monse with the one suitcase she had packed, while she carried the other backpack she brought with her. We didn’t even need to knock for the door to swing open, and for Julia to embrace Monse in a warm hug. Nice to know she was capable of showing affection to her daughter.

As they pulled apart from one another, I coughed quietly to fill the evidently awkward silence. When I looked up, I saw Julia gazing at me, tears brimming in her eyes. How I wished I had just sprinted to my dad’s car and drove off. I signed up for making amends with Monse, not reuniting with the woman who ruined my life.

“Y/n?” She place her hand over her mouth, and inhaled deeply. I stared at her, emotionless, because I knew getting angry or upset would make things worse between Monse and I. I didn’t need that. “You’ve grown up so beautifully.”

That was far different from how she treated me in the few years she stuck around. I wanted to slap her then and there.

“I’m gonna go say hi to the kids,” Monse said, as she wheeled her suitcase inside, right after taking her shoes off beside their coat rack. 2 seconds in and she was already changing her habits to fit in. I didn’t want to know what she’d be like when I pick her up in a month or so. I secretly hoped she would be begging to come home by then.

With Monse gone, Julia’s expression turned from joyful to regretful. I already had my fair share in life to know white tears when I saw them. For some reason, I stuck around long enough witness them fall again.

“Y/n... I am so sorry,” she wept. She had the audacity to cry in front of me, like she was the one who dealt with the brunt of her actions. I knew then that she hadn’t changed. Not enough for me to ever consider sticking around for dinner, so much as a conversation.

“Monse didn’t specify how long she’ll be staying, but she has my number and unlimited texts.” I wasn’t about to be vulnerable in front of this woman. I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of talking out what she did to her daughter. She didn’t deserve that. She never would. “She knows most of the important stuff she needs to know, but if anything comes up, just get her to call or text me.”

Julia nods silently, understanding that just because Monse wanted a relationship with her, didn’t mean she was any less dead to me than she was the last time she abandoned my family. 

I was about to turn around and leave, but there was one thing I needed to get off my chest. Not for my sake. Not for Julia’s. But for Monse’s.

“She’s been looking forward to this for a really long time,” I began, looking over Julia’s shoulder and watching Monse run around the living room with Julia’s youngest kids. “Longer than you know... So I swear to God, Julia... If you hurt her the way you hurt me, I will make sure you live to regret it.”

The way she held her breath, as I coldly threatened her, was enough for me to be satisfied. I drove off without saying goodbye. Without even looking back to see if Julia was still standing on her front doorstep, but I knew she was. I wonder if she understood the irony in that.

With little to do, now that Monse was out of the house and my dad was getting ready to hit the road again, I decided to stop at Oscar’s on my way back home. For most of my life, he was the person I went to when I needed to vent to someone who got me.

And that was the thing that made me fall for him so quickly. He just... got me.

“You saw her?” He asked, as he fixed the both of us cups of coffee. Neither one of us were going to be sleeping anytime soon. Not with all the shit we had going on in our lives.

“Yeah,” I answered sadly, fiddling with the mug handle. Spooky took hold of my other hand; a thing he’d do anytime I started fidgeting with something. “She hasn’t changed... I wish Monse would see that.”

“You spent your whole life protecting her from Julia,” he reasoned. “She never had to know what she did to you guys... You didn’t want her to hurt the way you did growing up.”

I nodded. He was right, but that didn’t make the situation any less painful than it already was.

“I’m scared it’s gonna happen though,” I whispered, staring down at my mug as a way of keeping me from tearing up. “You should’ve seen how happy she was... How much trust she has that Julia’s actually changed.”

Oscar runs his hand over his mouth and down his chin, before gently squeezing my hand. 

“She has to find out somehow,” he stated, looking at me apologetically because nothing he could say could change what would inevitably happen. “We can’t protect them from everything... no matter how badly we wanna.”

And we couldn’t. I couldn’t protect Monse from our mom. Oscar couldn’t protect Cesar the world of the Santos. But we really wanted to. We really really did.

***

It had been a good handful of months since Monse and I saw Julia last. Much like I predicted, she hadn’t changed. And unfortunately for Monse, this meant she had to find out the hard way that our mother was an awful person. 

“You’re really not gonna go to the funeral?”

Monse and my dad were both dressed in their nicest black attire, whilst I was still wearing what I had gone to sleep in. I told them I wouldn’t step foot in Brentwood again, but it seemed that they only now understood how serious I was.

“Y/n,” my dad always spoke softly to the two of us, particularly when we were at a disagreement. “I really think you should come with us.”

I took a spoonful of cereal to my mouth and chewed loudly, before speaking again. This was my way of emphasising how little I cared for the matter at hand. Julia was dead to me a long time ago. I already did my grieving. She didn’t deserve so my respect, so I wasn’t about to pay that to her anytime soon.

“I’m not coming.” I looked at my dad and shook my head. He sighed, and took hold of the car keys, before grabbing his coat. Monse however wasn’t having any of it.

“I can’t believe you,” she said loudly, despite my dad’s attempts at calling her to go to the car. “Our mother is dead, Y/n. Don’t you think it’s important you go to her funeral?!”

I placed my bowl down abruptly, making my dad walk back into the kitchen, because anytime Monse and I dropped what was in our hands, shit was about to go down. 

“She’s been dead to me for a long time, Monse, I don’t owe that woman anything.”

I could feel my dad’s eyes widen, and I knew I was beginning to cross a line. Talking bad about Julia to my dad and Oscar before was one thing, but now that she was dead, and since this was Monse I was talking to, we were in uncharted territory.

“What about me, or her kids? You’re being so selfish, Y/n!” I ignored her and began putting my dishes away. It hurt hearing her say what she did, but I wasn’t in the mood to argue. Monse, however, apparently was. “You know you’re a lot more like her than you wanna believe.”

And I thought I was crossing a line.

“You better watch your mouth, Monse,” I growled, trying to keep myself from throwing something at my little sister. A spoon perhaps? “You have no right to say that to me. Unlike her, I’ve looked out for you from the beginning.”

We moved away from the kitchen island, and were now standing opposite each other, with all but my dad in our way. He held both his hands out, almost as a precaution in case one of us threw a punch.

“Oh please,” she spat. My dad glanced over at me. Knowing where this was heading, he knew how personal this was becoming for me especially. “I never asked you to become my mother.”

I gasped quietly, only just loud enough for my dad and I to hear.

“Y/n-”

I shook my head. There was no coming from this, at least not today. No matter how softly my dad spoke to me or how hurt Monse was by everything that had happened, I couldn’t bring myself to pretend like things were okay. They weren’t. They hadn’t been for a while, even before we found out about Julia.

No longer able to stand in the same room as Monse, I walked out of the kitchen and out of the house, making sure not to tear up until I was positive that I was definitely on my own. This wouldn’t last for long though because, just as I did in any time of crisis or mental breakdown, I headed towards Spooky’s place.

And just as well, by the time I got there, I saw his father walking away from the house, a duffel bag in his clutched hand- the same he had when he arrived from prison. I waited around the corner until he left, before approaching Oscar. 

I could tell that whatever argument they were having, it wasn’t one I needed to get involved in. 

“Spooky?”

Once realising I had seen what happened, he shakes his head, runs his hand over his mount and sits on the steps of his front door. Making no sudden movements, I slowly sat beside him.

“Did he leave?”

He flares his nostrils and looks up at the streetlights before nodding.

Shifting closer to him, I placed on hand around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder, only after placing a small kiss on the bare skin. 

“You not going to the funeral?”

I shook my head, before leaning into him. He takes his arm and wraps it around my frame, allowing me to lean into his chest. He was so good at showing me love, despite never receiving any from the people he needed it most from.

“How are you gonna tell Cesar?” I asked, looking up at him concerningly.

“... I don’t know,” he sighs.

“Why do we have to go through this?” I cried, placing my head in my hands. Oscar rubs my back gently all the while. “It sucks so much, you know? When Monse was staying at Brentwood she looked so happy... Why couldn’t we have had that growing up? Julia can give that to her white kids... but not to us.”

It was a rhetorical question of course. Spooky and I had our fair share of pain. We both knew how messed up things are for no apparent reason. 

“You know she wrote her a letter?” Again, a rhetorical question. I knew for a fact that Monse told Spooky about it in a drunken haze. “Despite everything that happened, Monse still cared about her.”

“... How about you?”

My lips began to tremble, because I finally began to understand why I held so much anger towards Julia. Why, even when she showed some kindness to Monse, I still couldn’t look at her without feeling so much rage in my heart.

As I began to tear up again, Oscar held me until I started to recover. I hated how much power that woman still ad over me. That even when she projected all of her internalised insecurities onto me for a good chunk of my life, I was still distraught that she was gone. That we’d never be able to reconcile our relationship.

The sun began to set when I rested my head on Spooky’s shoulder, and stared out into the block we called home; thinking about our two siblings, of whom we had to look out for. Of the innocence we were robbed of. Of the childhood we never got to enjoy.

“Do you think they’re gonna be okay?” He asks, staring just as intently as I was into the streets. 

“Yeah... They will.” And I really believed that.

“What about us?” This time he turns his to me and gazes into my eyes, emphasising how serious and intimate his question was. “Think we’ll make it?”

I couldn’t think of an answer that would accurately encapsulate my enthusiasm and confidence, so I took hold of his face and kissed him softly. And I could feel him smiling as I did so, pulling me closer to him with the strength of his arms. 

[cpd5021]

How to Save a Life (2)

The first chapter was ridiculously long, so I tried to keep this one shorter. I ended up splitting it into chapters two and three because I couldn’t find an ending I liked without just abruptly ending it. This one is also full of angst, as most of this fic will be. Thanks for all the wonderful feedback I’ve received from this fic already, it means a lot!!! 

Chapter Two - Paralyzed

Where are my feelings,

I no longer feel things

     Three days. Three days since Voight had pulled us into his office, informing us that Gael had been released. Three days since I drove Vanessa to the warehouse neither of us should have been at. Three days since I heard the gunshot and watched the life drain from her eyes, holding her limp and bloody body in my arms, only relinquishing my grip when Jay pulled me away. I had let him loosen my hands, clutching desperately to her bloodstained clothing, had allowed him to pull me into a standing position and walk me away from her body, and had even let him drive me home. Not because I wanted to do any of those things, but because as I watched the light fade from her face everything inside me faded away as well. I had no will to fight, no desire to argue or push him away. A small part of me recognized that I needed him to do those things for me because I never would have accomplished them myself. But as he had led me up to my front door, looking more than ready to settle in at my house with no thought of leaving ever again, something inside me flickered just enough to send him away. He pushed at first, telling me he wasn’t leaving me alone, not like this, but I hadn’t budged. He left with the door slammed in his face and if I had had anything left in me, the sight of his face just before it shut would have broken me. But it was too late for that. I was already broken. 

    I had shuffled aimlessly into my entryway, briefly debating where I wanted to go next, before dragging myself up the stairs. Deciding to skip a much needed shower, necessary to wash the dried blood off that caked my exposed skin, I had simply stripped out of my clothes and climbed into bed. And that is where I have been ever since. But now it was Friday, the day of her funeral. A part of me considered not going. After all, her death was my fault. I had set in motion the events that led up to her getting shot and I didn’t think I was worthy of being there for her send off. I glanced over at my alarm clock, groaning when the red numbers only flashed 5am. I rolled back over, pulling a pillow over my head and hoping that I would never wake up. A pounding on my door downstairs was the next thing I heard and when I lifted the pillow back off my head I realized it was much lighter in my room now. The clock displayed 8am. The pounding sounded again and I laid there trying to ignore it, hoping whoever it was would go away. There was a lapse in the loud banging and right when I was starting to feel some relief, my phone buzzed on the table beside me. A message from Voight. 

You have about two seconds to open this door or I’m kicking it down.

I read the message twice before jumping out of bed with a groan, knowing he wasn’t kidding. I threw on some sweats that had been tossed aside a few days prior and made my way downstairs. I could see his frame looming through the tiny window on the door before I pulled it open, squinting in the bright daylight. His face was stern but his eyes were soft as he took me in. I could only imagine what I looked like. 

“I figured you might want a ride to the funeral.”

He stepped inside the door frame, causing me to take a step back. The silent message that he wasn’t leaving without me loud and clear. 

“I’m not going.”

I said weakly, hoping he wouldn’t fight me. He did, of course. His eyes bore into mine, assessing my mental state with precision skill. 

“You are.”

He informed me, once again relaying that I wasn’t going to win this. I couldn’t look at him any longer and instead let my head hang. I certainly didn’t trust my voice to speak so I let the silence linger between us. 

“Go take a shower and get in your blues. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Having nothing left in me to fight him with, I turned and padded my way back up the stairs. Entering the bathroom I took in the mess scattered before me, remnants of my roommates hungover rush to get ready for work. The sight bringing a lump to my throat. I quickly stripped out of the sweats and turned the water on as hot as it would go. Stepping under the stream, I let myself melt into the heat for just a moment before I started washing up, moving on autopilot with no real desire behind any of it. Once I was as clean as I was going to get, I stepped back out, tugging a towel on and shuffling towards my bedroom. The dress blues were tucked into the very back of my closet and under any other circumstance I would have pulled them out to freshen up. It was too late for that now as I worked to put it on and pin everything to the right place. Once dressed, I headed back to the bathroom to assess my hair. Deciding drying it and actually making it look nice was not something I could manage at this moment, I put a quick braid through the damp hair and called it good. I returned downstairs to find Voight right where I had left him and nodded towards the door to let him know I was ready to go. We silently climbed into his vehicle and he pulled out of my driveway, letting the silence hang between us. About halfway there he spoke and his sudden voice broke through the haze I had settled in too. 

“Coffee?”

I simply shook my head no, my eyes never shifting from the front window. 

“When’s the last time you ate?”

I could tell he was looking at me but I refused to look at him. 

“This morning.”

I lied, giving a shrug for added measure. I wasn’t sure if he believed me or not but he didn’t press the issue. Finally, or should I say, all too soon, we were pulling into the lot. I instantly spotted Jay standing next to Kevin and the constant lump in my throat burned even more. We climbed out and I followed after Voight with my head hung low. I came to stand beside Jay, risking just a small glance up at him before I registered the look of worry in his eyes and darted mine away. I couldn’t handle him looking at me like that and if I stared too long I knew I would fall apart. 

     Somehow I made it through the service, although to be honest, I don’t remember much of it. I had allowed the haze to settle back over me, blocking out the words and funeral music blaring from the speakers. It was over. She was gone. And I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into my bed and never get out. Except, as I recalled the morning’s events, I realized I didn’t have a ride. Voight was now tied up with the formalities that come with being a sergeant who’s lost a member of his unit. I surveyed the crowd, hoping to spot a patrol officer that could give me a quick ride, but instead I locked eyes with Jay. He hesitated for a moment before he made his way over to me, closing the gap quickly but leaving plenty of space between us. 

“I can drive you home.”

He offered, aware of my situation. Not seeing any other real option I gave him a quick nod and followed him to the truck. The ride back to my place was silent, something I was becoming all too familiar with. None of the usual banter that Jay and I usually exchanged. He pulled into my driveway and shut his truck off right as I was about to jump out. I sent him a look, telling him he could go but he climbed out behind me. I got to my door, unlocking it and stepping inside just as he rounded the top step. 

“Can I come in?”

He asked, his eyes pleading with me to not shut him out. Normally I would have been grateful for his presence, happily welcoming him in to do “our thing”. But everything was different now. We couldn’t do our thing because that required two things, him and me. And the ‘me’ part wasn’t here anymore. Her death, being the one to blame, this wasn’t something I would recover from and it wasn’t something I had any drive to even try to heal from. I was done. Empty. Nothing. 

“No.”

I all but whispered, moving to shut the door. But he was faster and his boot blocked me from closing it. 

“Hailey...don’t do this.”

He pleaded, making no motion to push the door open, only keep the gap to talk to me.

“You can go Jay. This isn’t something for you to fix.”

My words were harsher this time and I knew if he kept pushing I would hurt him. I wanted him to go, I didn’t want to be the broken person he felt the need to fix. 

“Hailey…”

My name left his lips so softly I almost felt a twinge of pain, but the numbness that had settled over me blocked it out. I wasn’t sure I was capable of feeling anything anymore. My core was shattered. 

“I’m not leaving you like this. I know what you’re thinking and this isn’t your fault.”

His words sparked something in me and I whipped the door back open to face him. 

“Isn’t my fault? Are you stupid? This is all my fault! I’m the one who planted the drugs, I’m the reason he got out, I’m the reason she was there, the reason she’s dead!”

By the time I finished I was screaming at him, my face burning red as I felt tears threaten to gather in my eyes. This line of thinking wasn’t new, it hadn’t left my mind since the moment she died, but it was the first time I had voiced it out loud. 

“She would have gone either way, you know that.”

He tried to reason, only fueling the fire.

“Jay, she never would have been a target if I hadn’t done what I did. This is all on me. I’m sorry you try to find the good in everyone but you can’t do that this time. I’m the reason she’s dead!” 

The tears were falling now, only making me more angry. I hated the way he was looking at me. 

“You’re my partner Hailey, I’m not leaving.”

I gripped the door between my hands, ready to force it shut as soon as I had the chance. 

“I’m not your partner Jay, not anymore. I’m done. Go away.”

My voice shook as I spoke and whatever tiny little bit I had left in me broke as I watched the hurt cross over his face. He removed his foot and the second the block was no longer there I slammed the door shut. I turned around, letting my body slump against the cool surface and collapsed onto the floor. Tears flowed down my face and sobs rose into my chest. I hadn’t cried yet, not really. But losing Jay, pushing him away, was the final straw and I fell apart.

[simplyyeol]

back then (when we used to)

—pairing; byun baekhyun x reader

—genre; fluff, college! au, childhood friends to nobodies to lovers! au lmao

—tws; swearing

—word count; 16.439 (whew)

—synopsis; when push comes to shove, and baekhyun suddenly appears in your life again taking your heart as he walked along the road beside you, you wonder if you really could have a happily ever after, with him, just like back then, when you used to.

—author’s note; hi guys! it’s me, cough, aj. you probably all forgot who i am right? well anyways! i made this after a long time of not writing since im on break. thank you all so much for the love you’ve given me so far. it means the world to me. i hope you love this one as much as my last work. thank you so much for supporting me !!11!11 (ugly cries)

“I mean, Baekhyun is cute and all, but I don’t know why you like like him that much if you haven’t even had a proper conversation with him,” Sehun explains as he takes a sip of his orange juice. “It seems kind of... farfetched, you know?” You roll your eyes as you take a bite of your sandwich. “Don’t be a drama queen.”

“I mean! Why don’t you like someone like...” he taps his chin in thought, fork stabbing through the lettuce leaves before he looks back to you, signature smirk in place. “Jongdae.”

You choke on the food.

“He’s pretty cute. And he’s really nice too. He’s even on the baseball team with Baekhyun and you guys seem to get along well. It’s a win-win situation.”

You shrug. “He’s cool, but he’s just a friend. And since when do you care about my love life?”

“Nonexistent love life,” he snarkily corrects and you stick your tongue at him.

“And you’re some best friend. Totally supporting me in my silent love affair.”

“I’m being realistic,” he defends, shrugging.

“And a horrible best friend,” you retort, grimly.

“Maybe you’re just going through this phase—” he starts.

“Okay, look,” you interject, dropping your sandwich on the table. “I have a crush on one of the star players of our college’s team. That just makes me one of the many of the girls fantasizing to be her. That’s all it is. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw myself at him and forget who I actually am or some stupid shit like that.” You narrow your eyes at him and pick up your sandwich. “Period.” And then you take a bite.

Sehun drops his fork in his bowl, the clatter ringing even through all the chatter in the cafe. “Wow, Y/N.”

“What?” you bark, bread in mouth, so it sounds more like ‘mwa.’ Even if Sehun is monotone in basically everything that comes out of his stupid mouth, you can hear the smirk.

He shakes his head. “Nevermind. But... since we’re already on this road. You know Park Chanyeol.”

You nod and swallow. “Yeah. Why?”

“Well, he gave me two tickets to his game since Mina and I were gonna go, but you know...” he trailed off and you look at him. He just broke up again with Mina. His now ex. They have an on and off relationship. You don’t really get it.

“I dunno,” you say, eyes flitting from the table to his face. You didn’t want him to go alone, sure, but more often than not, when he takes you to these kind of things, he usually gets sidetracked and well, forgets about you.

“Oh, come on, I won’t leave you this time, I swear,” he says, fist slamming the table.

“Sehun,” you breathe, talking to him as if he was a child. “You said that last time for that basketball guy’s party. And do you remember what happened then?”

His eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. Apparently your best friend has horrible memory as well.

“You went home with Mina, asshole,” you spit. “And yes, you are my bestfriend and deserve the best romantic life, but you can’t just leave me. Jeez, you’re heartless, Sehun.”

“I won’t leave you this time,” he pleads once more, puppy eyes now in place, hands placed together under his chin. “Please, noona?”

You stick your tongue out at him and continue with your sandwich.

“Oh, come on, I want to go with my bestest friend in the world, and not anyone else. And we’ll have so much fun and I won’t even leave your side, or anything, and as a bonus! I will personally get you a jersey as an added bonus with a certain Byun printed on the back.”

Your eyes flicked to his for a split second at the sound of a certain man’s name.

“I can even arrange a chance at the after party for the two of us, so you can have some even more fun. There’s gonna be free drinks too!” he tries.

You raise an eyebrow at this offer.

“Free food, too!” he chimes.

“We’ll see,” is your final answer.

His straight posture is slumped at your answer, pout adorning his face as he dejectedly looked at his salad that was a part of his so-called, healthy diet, that he put together himself. His eyes flicked to yours as you took another bite of your BLT.

You waved it at him. “Want some?”

He looks back to his salad before dropping his fork and stretching his hand out. You hand the sandwich to him and he takes a few bites before giving it back to you.

The rest of lunch is spent in light banter, talk about classes and upcoming finals.

The two of you have been close since the start of college after there was a mix up in the dorm distribution and you ended up in the only co-ed dorm in college. With a playboy of course. You would think you’d somehow fall in love with him, but the boy being two years your dongsaeng, the spark was never there. He became a little brother figure who you could bully whenever he came over to you to gush about his new girlfriend at how pretty she is. It’s cute enough to pinch his cheeks like you were a distant relative who claimed to used to change Sehun’s diapers. He hated it, which is exactly why you loved it.

He doesn’t bring up the game until you see Byun Baekhyun walk through the cafe doors. You being the shy person that you are, immediately duck your head and finish the rest of your sandwich in one bite, and stand up announcing your departure to Sehun.

“What? I’m not finished yet, wait another minute. We’ll go together.”

“Uh, I actually forgot I’ve got to meet a friend before class starts,” you explain, twisting and untwisting your fingers, eyes locked on Baekhyun’s figure that was currently walking towards you and Sehun’s table, which was conveniently in front of the register. 

Sehun looks at you, nose scrunched then looking somewhere behind you, and then it dawned on him, your predicament. “Oh,” he breathes.

And Sehun being the asshole he is calls Byun Baekhyun over. You never wanted more for the ground to open up and swallow you whole than at this moment.

“Hey, Sehun, what’s up?” Baekhyun says, his honey voice rolling over you in waves. You couldn’t leave due to the iron grip Sehun had on your wrist, caging you and erasing all attempts of escape.

“Hey, hyung. I just needed an opinion. Do you know, Y/N?” Sehun nods to you and you freeze as Baekhyun finally sees you. You hold your breath, waiting for the answer on the tips of your toes even though you were the one who didn’t want it.

His eyes lock with yours and you see the warmth even standing nowhere close to him. You see the small mole on top of his lip, the bridge of his nose, the cherry pink of his lips and all you can think is how he hasn’t changed one bit. 

His eyes flit down to your wrist in Sehun’s hand and you quickly pull it away. Sehun doesn’t hold you back. And then he’s looking away as fast as he saw you, and you miss the warmth that he brought with just a look but you’re glad for the lack of his fierce gaze on you alone.

He hums. “Yeah, I know Y/N. We went to the same middle school but you probably already know that,” he states matter of factly. You purse your lips. Sehun didn’t know that.

Sehun’s jaw goes slack. “Wait, what?” He turns to you, eyes narrowed. “You never told me that!”

“Uhhh—” you dumbly respond as Baekhyun looks between the two of you.

“Right, I just wanted to know,” Sehun clears his throat, grasping Baekhyun’s attention once again, “if we could come to the party after the game?”

“Oh, you’re coming to the game?” He poses the question towards the both of you, but he only looks at you.

“Well, I’m going, but Y/N doesn’t know yet—”

“You should come,” Baekhyun states simply, looking into the depths of your soul. Your heart beats just the tiniest bit faster.

“I’ll see,” you mutter under your breath.

“Well, I’ll see you guys later then?” Baekhyun waves, the corner of his lips raised, and eyes sparkling in a way that only fits Baekhyun. 

Sehun’s arm falls on your shoulder as he rises to his full height, effectively breaking you out of the haze that Baekhyun put on you unknowingly. You scowl at him as you grab your backpack.

“How come you never told me this precious piece of information that came from Baekhyun himself. I’m so disappointed in you,” he remarks as you exit the cafe. You dare not look back.

You shrug, a small shiver running up your spine from the breeze. “It never came up.”

“Bullshit. This stuff is already supposed to be established in our,” he motions exasperatedly in the space between the two of you, “relationship.”

You snort. “I’m not dating you.”

“We’re best friends!”

“That we are,” you deadpan.

“Were you guys only classmates?” he inquires, shoving his hands in his pockets and blowing out a breath.

“If you’re asking if we dated, no. But we were friends, I guess.” 

An understatement but you don’t say.

Starting middle school in a whole new city was overwhelming to say the least. Having just moved to Seoul was already climbing in on itself over you. The whole car ride you refused to meet your parent’s eye on the trip to your new house. They pointed out famous landmarks and beautiful scenery of the ocean on the way, and yet, you refused, the stubborn 11-year old side of you coming out, as you blinked the tears away, never letting them fall.

And then came Baekhyun, a whirlwind of a boy, all smiling, eyes crescents, and hair a raven-colored ruffled. He flew into your life and you were grateful to him. He suddenly became a staple in your life but really you should’ve seen it coming sooner.

As fast as he entered, he left, and you didn’t like to think about whether it was your fault or his. One day, he stopped trying. Avoiding you, or maybe he just became too busy for you. He grew out of the pre-teen Baekhyun, a child in and of itself and became the popular teen Baekhyun who suddenly became the star of your junior high. You drifted apart, as Baekhyun entered the spotlight and you steered towards the sidelines, suddenly becoming a wallflower in Baekhyun’s life. And then you weren’t in it anymore. But you watched him grow up and everytime you passed him in the hallways in highschool and eventually college, a part of your heart clenched, happy that he was happy and sad because you couldn’t share that happiness with him.

Sehun saw the lingering glances, the almost spoken hello’s to the star player and deemed that you had a crush. He wasn’t wrong so you never corrected him.

“Earth to Y/N?” Sehun called, hand waving in front of your vision. You blinked, slowly turning over to him. “Blanked out there, for a little. You good?”

“Oh, um, yeah. Just thinking.”

“About a Byun Baekhyun?”

“Shut up,” you mumble and he snickers.

A few beats of silence pass as you walk side to side, shoulders brushing against each other.

“You’re not telling me something,” he says.

“No,” you respond.

“Yes,” he retorts.

“Whatever you say.”

“I’ll get it out of you, sometime. I already have a lead.”

“What? Are you Sherlock?” you tease, lips quirked.

He slides in front of you and you stop watching as he dumbly salutes, fingers all crooked. “Holmes, reporting for duty,” he announces.

You laugh and then he smiles. 

Most of the spots are filled when you enter the auditorium, a mess of hair, clothes and Y/N.

You spit out some of the hair caught in your mouth, which probably happened somewhere between where you left the pet store, your part-time job, in a hurry after seeing the time and from now, where you stood, just barely making it into class as the professor entered through the adjacent door . You got a little carried away with the new puppers that had just arrived and that was all your fault. Not that you regretted it, though.

The professor set up his laptop, plugging in wires and setting papers aside, that you really hoped weren’t of the test you took last week. You scrambled to your regular seat, right next to the TA, Kim Minseok’s desk, and next to Kim Jongdae. 

You dipped your head in greeting at Jongdae as you slipped past him to the seat and muttered your ‘hello’ to Minseok who waved you back.

“Please don’t tell me those are our tests from last week,” you say to absolutely no one. 

Jongdae, from beside you, hears this and turns to you. “Those are totally not our tests from last week.”

“Those are totally your tests from last week,” Minseok pipes from the other side of you. You swivel towards him, lips pursed, frown in place.

“Is it bad?” you ask, grimly.

“Can’t say,” he grins. 

“A hint?” you egg and Jongdae echoes your question.

Minseok shakes his head no and points towards the front just as the professor starts speaking. You melt into your seat, hoping that time would tick just the tiniest bit faster, if only to finish this hell you’re in.

45 minutes pass, not that you’re counting every second of it but you just happen to see after sneaking a glance at the clock hung on the opposite wall, when the professor finally announces the very dreadful thing that has you in a slump.

“And now for your tests!”

A series of groans echo your sentiments and you wait as he calls out the names of the other students, fists clenched, nails digging into the skin of your palm. He goes through a few people before stopping on the nervous human sitting right next to you.

“Kim Jongdae!” he calls and you give a pitiful look at Jongdae as he stands up to retrieve it. His face looks almost like a kicked puppy. The professor hands him the paper, says something, that you can’t hear (distance), or read (bad eyesight), but there’s a smile on his face. You sit at the edge of your seat waiting as Jongdae gets closer to you, his eyes lighting up as he reads the grade and when he comes to stand next to you, showing it to you, a cheshire-grin stretching across his lips.

Your jaw drops. “An A? That’s amazing!” He has his hand out towards yours and you high-five it, smiling for him. You sit back down waiting your turn, back straight, hairs raised.

“Y/N!” 

You get up, walking as fast as your legs could take you, grasping the paper with eager hands. The professor smiles and says that it was better than your last and then your walking back, not daring to peak at the letter.

“Did you see it?” Jongdae calls when you get back to your seat. 

You shake your head. “Can’t. You do it.”

You hand the paper to Jongdae and he chuckles leaning over. He faces the paper towards you, back slanting so he’s looking at it as well.

“A B!” you cry.

“An 89!” he exclaims.

“If you round up,” you start excitedly.

“An A!” he finishes.

“Yes!” you yell, fist pumping in the air and once again before exchanging another set of high-fives.

The two of you sit back at your seats ruffling through your tests exchanging answers for the questions you got wrong. The teacher rambles on about how well you all did this time, much better than the last. You paid it no attention, though, wincing as you saw another question you got wrong. You even remember studying about that one!

“Okay, students!” the teacher finally announces and you look up, setting the paper down on the table. “You’ll be doing a project—”

A series of groans cut him off.

“Now, now don’t be like that. It gets even better; you’ll be doing it in partners! The person next to you should do—oh! Would you look at the time? I better be off! Class dismissed!”

The screeching of chairs being pushed in, the mull of the chatter of students, and the scratching of pencils on paper fill the silence that the teacher brought and you stared at Jongdae, dumbfounded. And Jongdae stared at you.

“Is this real?” you breathed, voice ragged.

“I really hope not,” he answers back. “Maybe it's all just a dream.”

“More so a nightmare,” you remark.

Minseok snickers at the two of you. “Don’t be dramatic and get out of here, you two.”

You frown at Minseok as he shoots you out of the auditorium with the rest of the lingering students. You handle your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, carelessly, before turning to Jongdae who walked to your side with another classmate.

You wait for a gap in their conversation before pulling Jongdae away. “Do you have class right now?”

He shakes his head. “No, you?”

You mirror him, before cocking your thumb behind you, head tilted. “Library?”

“Better now than never,” he grins.

Jongdae steps off to the side when someone asks him something about plans on Friday night. You tell him you’ll save him a seat and wave before leaving, begrudgingly thinking about the fact that you wished to have plans on Friday night, ugh.

The library is vacant, spare the few students like you who thought to actually use it other than the librarian that no one ever sees. You tensely smile at a girl who you really can’t remember the name of but told her that one time in that one class after she made eye contact with you. A second later, though, no later, you looked away, wincing because if that wasn’t awkward. 

The tables in the library were settled in clusters if you make your way through the library, high shelves of the paperback on your left, and non-fiction on the right. It’s almost like a maze as you enter the space, and really it's no surprise, when you spot ten people. Max.

You take a seat at the nearest empty table, pulling out your textbook and your laptop. It only takes a minute for you to get sidetracked after you tap in your password the already open tab of Twitter pulling you in.

It wasn’t your fault really! The posts kept rolling in and sucking you deeper and when finally your throat felt parched and you took a sip of water, checking the time, still not seeing Jongdae, did you see half an hour had already passed.

“The fuck is the dude, doing?” you mutter under your breath, opening a seperate tab for your email. The chair across from you screeches and you think, finally, before your eyes land on the person currently sat across from you.

His hair was ruffled and the tip of his nose and cheeks were blushing red, as if he ran. And it wasn’t Jongdae.

“Oh,” he mumbles, more to himself. “Y/N.” A deep breath then, “hey.”

“Oh, um, Baekhyun. Hi,” you dumbly respond, stomach flipping at the sight of him. Your tongue had the sudden urge to fail you at the moment, barely making the cut.

“Sorry, to, um, bother your studying,” he starts, eyes flickering to your open screen which displayed the email log-in page. Thank god he did not see your Twitter account. Maybe you would have actually died. “But, uh, I’ll just sit here for a few minutes and then leave.”

The way he’s fidgeting in his seat makes it seem like he’s trying to avoid someone. “Oh, okay. That’s, um, fine?”

His eyes narrow at you as you purse your lips. Awkward. You are very awkward and you know that. You shuffle in your seat when he looks away and chuckles silently. “Thanks,” he says.

A few beats pass before you deem it awkward enough to drag your laptop closer to you, and look through the few emails that were unread in your inbox. Okay, lie. You weren’t actually reading. It was more so that your eyes skimmed over the same from email at fifteen times, your brain not registering the contact.

Baekhyun apparently decided to break the ice, starting with a deep breath. “So, what class are you working for?”

“Um, microbiology. I’ve got this partner essay and decided to get started on it,” you explain, biting your lip from a nervousness that you’re not sure the cause of.

“Partner?” he asks.

“Yeah... partner,” you repeat, thinking that he needed clarification.

“Oh, are you waiting for them?”

You nod. “He was literally right behind me too, jeez, what is he doing?” you ramble, picking up your phone and searching for Jongdae’s contacts.

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything else as you type a text to a certain essay partner.

jongdae!!!!

You set the phone back down on the table and sneak a peek at Baekhyun who looks, even at a first glance, stressed. Eye circles ring underneath his eyes, the hint of purple tinting his fair skin. His eyes look puffy, like he just took a nap, even though it's the middle of the day, and your heart clenches at the thought that he doesn’t get enough sleep. You notice the way his fingers drum silently along the table, his teeth worrying his chapped lips, like he’s always doing that. Maybe a habit...?

“Are you... okay?” The question comes tumbling out of your mouth in a hushed whisper, like some dirty secret that can’t be revealed. Your eyes rake over him with worry as he looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights.

He’s wary, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly as he forms an answer. “What do you mean?” he finally responds. Answering a question with a question. 

“You look tired,” you point, motioning to the undersides of his eyes. 

He winces, hands fisted as he rubs his eyes, laughing half-heartedly. “It’s nothing. Just got a big game to prep for—speaking of,” and then his eyes turn to you, determined, fiery, fist placed on the table and any sign of tiredness in his eyes vanished. “Are you going to come to the game?”

“Uh—”

“You’re going to the game?” 

Your head whips towards the side as Jongdae strolls in to the area, nonchalant. You take your pen and whip it at him with all the aim you could muster at such a short notice.

“I’m sorry!” he yells as he catches the pen and holds it to his heart before gently setting it down on the table a distance away from your hand.

“Thirty minutes,” you huff, as Jongdae takes a seat beside you. His attention turns toward Baekhyun who looks between the two of you. You can’t tell what the furrow of his brows or the scrunch of his nose conveys.

Jongdae ignores your complaint and addresses Baekhyun. You turn away pointedly, hands crossed over your chest, lip slightly jutted. 

“What are you doing in the library, Baekhyun?” Jongdae questions.

“Um, just, you know, talking to Y/N—”

“Is that Eunha?” Jongdae interjects, leaning over the table, jaw dropped.

“Who?” you ask, curious.

“Yeah, who?” Baekhyun repeats, feigning innocence. You see the way, he blinks at Jongdae owlishly, and his straight posture.

“Your ex-girlfriend, Eunha! Is that why—”

Baekhyun’s over at Jongdae’s side in an instant, hand clamping over the blabbermouth’s mouth, looking around the library maniacally to see if anyone overheard. You choke, not sure what to feel about the new information, but when she leaves out of view, you figure it's her since she is the only one there that wasn’t there a moment ago. You look towards the two idiots at your side.

And if that wasn’t any worse, Eunha suddenly reappeared again right in front of you three. And she looked Baekhyun up and down, and then it was Jongdae. And lastly you.

With her sleek black hair sectioned off into braids, her makeup flawless, and her clothes without a single crinkle in them, you envied her from head to toe.

“Baekhyun what are you doing? Really? Running away?” She gives Baekhyun an incredulous look as he retracts his hand from Jongdae’s mouth, sheepish look pasted on his face. 

“Um, actually—” he starts.

“Seriously, I just wanted to talk. I won’t bite,” she promises taking a step closer. You see Baekhyun’s eyes flit to anywhere but Eunha, and then you see him take a step closer to Jongdae, his hand suddenly coming down onto Jongdae’s shoulder. Hard.

“I’m dating Jongdae!” 

Eunha’s jaw drops open, you choke on air, Jongdae shrieks and falls out of his chair, and Baekhyun colors a scarlet in the next few moments as crickets chirp through the library.

“What?” Eunha breathes, looking as if she just got slapped in the face. And in this case, you felt that it would have been a better situation. “You’re dating—” she stopped mid-sentence, closing her eyes, straightening her back, and taking a long, deep breath. “Jongdae? Is he lying?”

You watch as Baekhyun pinches Jongdae’s back as he opens his mouth, and proceeds to say the words that you are just dying to hear with some popcorn in hand. “Uh... no.”

Eunha’s eyes are almost about to fall out her head as she looks between the two of them. Baekhyun laughs a small laugh, pressing his index finger to his lips, and shushing Eunha. She barks a laugh, hikes her bag up her shoulder, and stomps out of the clearing.

Jongdae’s chair is thrown to the side courtesy his legs as he stands, towering over Baekhyun. “What the fuck—” 

Baekhyun claps his hands together in front of his face, eyes clenched together. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise!” he squeaks.

“I should’ve just let you suffer—”

“—and I am so, so grateful you didn’t—”

“—in pain. Why the hell do I—”

“Coffee, for a month?” Baekhyun pleads.

Jongdae narrows his eyes at Baekhyun. “Two.”

“One and a half?”

“One and three weeks.”

“Okay, okay,” he surrenders, plopping into the chair next to you before turning to meet your eyes. “I am so dead.”

You smile. “I didn’t know you were gay.”

“Y/N!” he whines. “You know what? I am leaving, I have had way too much drama for today, and I feel my wrinkles popping out, god dammit.”

He walks away from the table as you erupt into snickers and Jongdae hollers an ‘8:45 AM sharp!’ after him.

“Don’t be late! I have class first thing and need my supply!”

Baekhyun doesn’t turn around, opting to flip off Jongdae, back still turned. Jongdae swears at him, and you laugh even harder.

What you don’t see is the small smile gracing Baekhyun’s lips as he exits the library doors, a little skip in his step.

Having to take an advanced sociology class for your major made absolutely no sense other than the fact that the people, whoever they were, that assigned the classes, were absolute idiots. You would know since you’re always surrounded by them.

The class ran for two terms but you only needed one, joining in at the beginning of the second this year. Everyone already had managed to find a place to sit, some people to work with, and a nice view of the screen in front of the room. You just wedged into some seats with some of the more friendlier looking girls and somehow managed to blend in to the wall, only needing a passing grade for this class.

You didn’t know many people in this class, but you at least recognized their faces. And that guy sitting at your desk with the suspicious looking hood was not one of them. You stood a few feet away from him, wondering if you should demand your seat back or just sit next to him. Or in front. 

But that’s your seat.

Well. Your inability to communicate with people caught up to you and you took a seat right next to him.

It wasn’t until the end of class that you figured out who he was. You could hear a faint purr from the hooded boy next to you, his pencil strewn next to his head that was lain on the table carelessly. A string of drool marked the paper and you chuckled. But you couldn’t judge. That would be you today if it weren’t for the fact he was giving apparently important information from the girl on your right.

You pondered on the thought if you should just leave him, but if class had finished while you were sleeping you would want someone to wake you up. What if he had a class after this?

You drew closer to him and tapped his shoulder. “Hey. Wake up. Class is over.”

The boy groaned, shifted in his seat the tiniest bit, and continued sleeping. You tapped him a bit harder this time. “Hey. Hey. Wake up.” 

You checked the time on your phone, before placing it back on the table. Taking your time, you placed your notebook back in your bag and zipped it up before tossing a look back to the boy. Still sleeping. The pencil and pen in your bag as well. Another look. Not even a little.

Boy, was this kid tired.

You tried again, and again, with even more force and smiled when the guy stirred, blinking his eyes, movements hazy. He smacked his lips a few times before finally moving his head up and locking eyes with you.

“Baekhyun?”

“Y/N?”

“You take this class?” you both said in unison.

A look passed between the two of you, as you blinked and he started giggling with you following shortly after.

“I take this class, but I’m pretty sure you don’t,” you finally say, smile placed on your lips.

“I owed my friend one and filled in for the day to take some notes.”

You snickered before motioning to the side of your face, your fingers ghosting your skin. “You have drool here.”

“What?” he squawks, hands wiping the opposite side of his face. 

You shake your head. “Other side.”

He pulls the sleeve of his hoodie up and finding the drool, quickly wiping it off before embarrassingly pulling his hoodie on his head tighter.

“What’s with the get up?” you question, as Baekhyun grabs his notebook and you grab your backpack, both walking towards the door. 

A group of students brush passed you and you notice how Baekhyun makes sure to duck his head down as he whispers to you. “You didn’t hear...?”

“Hear what? you whisper back.

He pouts at you and you shrug. “The rumors?” he tries again.

You filter through any gossip Sehun might’ve told you about in the past few days and come up blank. “Nothing,” you state.

He groans, hand coming up to slide down his face. “Come on, man. The rumors?” he harshly whispers, face turned towards you whilst walking, hands outstretched at his sides, and eyes blown out. 

You suck in a harsh breath as he comes closer to your face, and that weird feeling in your chest blooms again. Almost like an eruption of lava, but more lowkey. A good volcanic eruption.

“Me being gay?”

He pulls back when he sees your lips pursed, smile begging to be released. “Oh, from when—”

“Oh my god,” he groans, walking faster in front of you.

“Okay, okay, sorry, I won’t laugh!” you exclaim, speeding up your pace and walking next to him. He took a look at the twinkle in your eyes and the smile playing on your lips and huffs before looking away. Drama queen.

“Seriously!” you repeat again. “Okay, wait, wait, slow down a little.”

He begrudgingly complies, hands now folded over his chest as you swing your backpack to your front and bring out your notebook. You zip it up and he sneaks a glance before voicing his curiosity. “What’s that for?”

You shoot him a smile. “Your favor?”

His eyes widen. “Oh shit! I fell asleep!”

“That you did, but I take pity and give you this.”

You hand him the notebook and he takes it, hand almost brushing yours but you can’t tell from how fast its gone even though the aftermath leaves your heart beating a mile a minute. You don’t even notice.

“You are an angel,” he breathes and sends you the most breathtaking smile that you think he could ever send you.

“Your welcome,” you state, voice soft.

“Thank you,” he says back. 

You continue walking, where? You don’t know. But you move closer to him as he opens the notebook and you show him the pages that you wrote down today. You stop at a small bench on the side of the hallway where Baekhyun sets it down and takes pictures of the pages.

He slides his glasses up when they fall off his nose, before tapping the screen to make sure that its readable. You watch to the side as he ruffles through the pages make sure he got everything. His bangs falling over his eyes, and he shakes his head, the hair stubbornly staying put.

“Baekhyun!” someone calls from the side. You look over and recognize him to be from the baseball team. You forgot his name, though. Something starting with Jong but you weren’t sure. He jogs over to Baekhyun, talking about a late baseball practice and where the hell he’s been.

Baekhyun looked sheepish as Jong-something scolds him, calling him hyung and you can’t help but smile at the interaction. 

“Oh right, that reminds me!” Baekhyun turns towards you suddenly and you feel warm under his and Jong-something’s (Jongin? Is that his name?) gaze. “Are you still not sure about the game?”

You inhale, looking at the way, Baekhyun pulls out his lower lip just the slightest and how it looks adorable (you’re cringing on the inside at your thoughts) on him. “Uh... yeah. Still don’t know,” you mutter.

“Well,” Baekhyun says, looking straight at you and placing his hand on your shoulder, “I hope you come.” 

And then he sends you a smile and you feel your heart strings tugging at each other as he turns around, jogging to the rest of the team. Jongdae shoots you a small smile when he sees you and you wave back but then he’s gone.

It’s not until a good twenty minutes later do you remember that Baekhyun didn’t give you your notebook. You rushed back to the bench where you saw it last. It wasn’t there also.

Well, shit. You’re screwed for that test next week.

hey, this is Y/N. i don’t have your number so i’m texting you though sehun’s. 

You read over the text and groan. Why would he care if you have his number or not—of course you don’t. Delete.

uhhh, anyways, do you still have that notebook you took pictures of? I can't remember if I took it back or not haha

‘uhhh, anyways’ is too awkward, dammit. Delete that as well.

hey this is Y/N. do you still have my notebook you took pictures of? I can't remember if I took it back or not haha

Okay, okay. Not bad, straight to the point. A little laugh in the end to ease the awkwardness. Hit send, Y/N, before you freak out even more. You press the blue button and thrust the phone back into Sehun’s hand before diving into your pasta. Nothing like food to hit your biggest worries.

“You’re such a coward, worrying about texting him,” Sehun snarks, tapping on the screen.

You glare at him, mouth stuffed, and he glances a look at you, smirking at your appearance. “Ass,” you mutter.

“That’s me.” 

The door to the cafe jingles open and it's almost like a fairy tale when your eyes dart to the customer in the almost empty restaurant, with you sitting directly in sight of the door, and lock eyes with Baekhyun.

“Oh, Y/N! Sehun!” he exclaims, waving at the two of you with his signature smile, fingers straight as a stick, gaps wide between them in that weird way he waves at people (he still makes it cute).

You smile a small smile, and Sehun gives a weird ass cool nod that Baekhyun takes a greeting does a weird nod back. He pulls a chair from the empty table next to you, dropping the bag and sitting in the middle, your left, Sehun’s right. His side profile was astonishing.

You looked back to your food, taking another bite, as they engaged in baseball talk, wallowing about whether or not you should bring up the elephant in your room.

Thankfully, Baekhyun, ever the one with many gifts from God, looks towards you abruptly, slamming his hand on the table. You flinch, eyes startled to his, wide in shock, almost mirroring his.

He chuckles and you clamp your lips and relax your posture, eyes drifting away. Well, that’s embarrassing.

“Sorry,” he snickers. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“She’s a coward. She’s always scared,” Sehun interjects.

“No one asked you,” you retort, throwing the closest object to you (a napkin) hoping it would hit him straight in the eye (it didn’t; it floated to a stop in the middle of the table).

“Anyways, your notebook. It’s in my locker, I totally forgot to give it back, my bad.” His hand comes up to unconsciously rub at the back of his neck and you inwardly coo at the small pout on his—no! ”If you want, we can go now to the lockers since I have practice. Do you have a class?”

Your mind went blank for some strange reason and the only thing that came out was an “uh...”

Sehun, the sometimes-angel he is, saves you and you are so very grateful. “She doesn’t.”

Baekhyun looks between you and Sehun, an unrecognizable expression on his face, before his lips turn into a smile. “Great!”

He makes small talk while you finish your food, helping Sehun occasionally on the essay he was pumping out. He leaned over Sehun’s shoulder, his glasses slipping down his nose, and his eyebrows scrunched as they glazed over the screen. He’d gotten annoyed from his bangs that he clipped them up exposing his forehead, and—oh god, what is wrong with you.

“Okay!” you announce,  a little too high pitched and chair screeching back at a screech that resonated through the empty shop. You freeze, coughing awkwardly when Baekhyun looks up at you through his circle lenses and Sehun snickers in the back. You chuckle, smile tense, before grabbing your backpack in light speed, fixing your jacket.

You cock your finger back towards the door, and tilt your head. “Sehun are you coming? Let’s go.” Your heart pounds—probably because you made a fool of yourself. Sehun shrugs before packing his stuff, Baekhyun following.

Sehun and Baekhyun, with their longer legs and faster pace, strode in front of you on the too thin sidewalk. You lingered behind sometimes joining in on the conversation but you felt as if you’d interrupt them with all the sporty jock language they were using.

You just decided to stare at Baekhyun. And admire. And daydream about what it would be like to marry and have tiny babies together. But at the moment. Admire.

Even the back of his head was adorable, added to the fact he was wearing the team’s hat and hoodie combined. Really, whoever designed them was genius. Baekhyun looks absolutely swallowed, only the tips of his fingers peeking out from the sweater paws.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Sehun knocks on your head, and your eyes immediately snap towards his the moment Baekhyun’s eyes meet yours. “Is the back of his head that fascinating?”

“Wh-what? No, what the—” you end up smacking Sehun feeling the nape of your neck warming up and letting your hair curtain over your face on the side that Baekhyun faced towards you.

“Woah, there, no need to get violent, I was just joking,” he intonates the last word, a smirk voiced and you glare up at him hoping your message traveled light years fast. You take back what you said about him being a sometimes-angel. He’s the devil reincarnate.

Baekhyun laughed his small cute laugh like ’hahaha’ and said something about zoning out. You nodded dumbly and continued to trail along with him.

“As I was saying...” Sehun says, hand waving in the air nonchalantly, “Y/N’s just using me as an excuse for leaving her at the game because she’s probably just embarrassed that she doesn’t want to miss the new episode of Extraordinary You—ow! What was that for?”

You smile up at him, lips pursed, words venomous, “what?”

He looks away, pouting muttering how you’re a big fat meanie. Baby.

“Oh Extraordinary You is so good. Are you caught up with all the episodes? I haven’t had time to watch the last two,” Baekhyun comments and your neck snaps as you look up at him.

“Oh, uh...” with the thought that he didn’t find it embarrassing that you spend your free time watching romantic dramas that could never actually happen in real life, you spoke up. “I’m caught up.” You still mentally threw Sehun into the pits of hell where he belonged.

Sehun snorts as Baekhyun hums.

A curious smile peaks over the edges of Baekhyun’s lips as he looks at Sehun. “Why... is it weird or something?”

“No, just, she thinks that she’s uncool to watch dramas twenty-four seven—mmmph—what are you—!”

Your hand stays at Sehun’s side as you smile at Baekhyun. “Just ignore him. He spouts bullshit twenty-four seven,” you give a pointed look towards Sehun at the end. 

Baekhyun laughs. “Okay, then.” 

“He spouts bullshit twenty-four seven,” Sehun imitates, voice pitches higher.

“I don’t talk like that!”

The walk to the locker rooms aren’t too far, just outside the school campus. It’s only a 10-minute walk from the food court area and you’re there in no time. 

Luhan from the baseball team, which you know of from how much he frequents your apartment to hang out with Sehun, stole the younger boy, stating that they’d be back in a minute after stepping out of the locker rooms. You sat on the bench in the middle of the locker rooms while Baekhyun shuffled through his lockers that was packed to the brim.

“I’m not usually this messy,” Baekhyun mumbles as he takes out another bundle of what looks like an old sport jacket. “I’ve just been really busy these days,” he adds.

“It’s fine, take your time,” you commented, twiddling your fingers.

A few boys stepped in to the locker room, and you looked up briefly recognizing their faces but not their names. 

“Oh, Baekhyun?” one of them called. “You brought a girl into the locker rooms? You never did that with anyone, even Eunha.” The two at his sides snickered and you watched as Baekhyun’s ears turned red at the implications.

“It’s not like that,” Baekhyun barked as he continued ruffling through his lockers. “They’re idiots, don’t listen to them.”

You chuckle softly. “Okay.”

“Found it!” he grins, spinning it around and holding it out towards you.

“Oh, cool, thanks,” you state, taking the book from him.

“Yeah, but I should be telling you that,” he chuckles. “Why do you use a notebook anyway? Laptops are a thing, you know?”

“Yeah, but I like writing the stuff. It helps me remember everything,” you say, stuffing the notebook into your bag.

Baekhyun hums. “Good point, but the hand cramps are so not worth it.”

You shrug it off. “Whatever, Byun.”

“Hey, Baekhyun! Practice is starting. Your girlfriend can stay if she wants, I already asked coach,” one of the boys called.

Your face warms up at the title, and you’re meek ‘I’m not his girlfriend’ is muted by the raucous of the other boys coming in. Baekhyun sends you a shy smile and shakes his head. “Again, idiots, but you can stay if you want.”

“No, it’s alright,” you breathe, “I have class anyways, so it’s time I go. Can you remind Sehun to buy dinner, and say no chicken, please?”

“Yeah, sure. Isn’t his phone broken or something like that?”

“He’s an idiot also.”

“Looks like everyone on this team is an idiot.”

You hum, thinking over the words, one thought shining brightly in the midst of all the others.

The next thing you say is totally uncalled for and if you were in a less delirious state and not around Byun Baekhyun, it would’ve never escaped your mouth. “You’re not, though. That’s why I l love—”

Baekhyun suddenly frowns and your heart drops. You idiot! Why would you say something like that? What if he—shit. You totally messed up. The whole getting to know him, shit, shit, shit. You totally messed up. He doesn’t have time to respond as one of the boys steals him, shoveling him out of the room, throwing you a beaming smile in compensation. You can’t seem to reciprocate.

The locker room is awfully quiet, now.

It has been exactly one day since you spilled your mouth in front of Baekhyun and it has been exactly one day since you have regretted saying that. You saw him this morning, at the coffee shop down the street. He was just minding his own business, looking through his phone while taking a few sips of his drink here and there when you accidentally bumped into him. Nothing precarious happened, like you fell into his arms or his coffee spilled all over your shirt and he let you wear his spare.

No. You blushed as red as a tomato and stuttered a sorry, before scurrying off like a mouse at the stony gaze pointed directly at you.

Why did you even open your mouth and say something stupid like that? You weren’t an idiot. You knew what was implied with those words, and yet you had to go and say it. You probably ruined the friendship you had slowly progressed with Baekhyun, too. What a stupid person you are.

You walked in to the microbiology class with a huff, no regular coffee in hand as you were far too flummoxed after the run-in with Baekhyun to go back into the cafe. Jongdae had noticed something was off and shared a look with Minseok. The TA shrugged. 

You made a small burrow surrounding yourself with first, your books, second, your water bottle, and third, your bag, making a small barrier that you wished would shield you from all the remorse you felt upon yourself. Once the professor had walked in and started the presentation, you pride yourself from behind the wall. 

Your motions were robotic as you copied important things from the presentation, highlighted key concepts in your textbook, and answered questions prompted by the professor. But it was as if your mind and body were separate and your soul was nowhere to be found.

At the end of class, the professor had called you and Jongdae up, mentioning something about the project. 

You forlornly walked up beside Jongdae, the scuffling of your feet earning another worried stare from the boy.

“Y/N, Jongdae, I just wanted to note that since there’s a new student in the class, and an odd number of people, I would like for him to work with you,” the professor explains.

You nod numbly. Jongdae questions as to who. 

“Oh, he actually attend today’s class, I told him to meet me as well… oh, there he is!”

You felt someone sidle next to you and Jongdae shifted to look towards him. “Oh, Baekhyun!”

Your head snapped towards the side, and true to his words, Baekhyun stood to your side, not bothering you a glance. He smiled at Jongdae then at the professor, thanking him.

Jongdae glanced to you, your mouth agape. “Y/N, do you want to come with us?”

“H-huh?” you stutter as you look towards Jongdae. “Sorry, zoned out.”

“Yeah… uh, do you want to come with us for lunch? We’re having pizza,” Jongdae reiterates.

Your eyes flicker towards Baekhyun and sure enough, the cold stare from this morning and the last time you saw him were still there. 

“No, I’m fine. Thank you, though,” you say, lips pulled in a tight smile. 

“Oh, okay, then. See ya!” Jongdae grins, before turning towards Baekhyun who still stared at you. He nudged Baekhyun’s side. “Let’s go, then.”

His eyes are clouded as he looks at you. You can’t tell what he’s thinking and it makes your skin tingle from all the attention. He finally pulls them away from you and you let out the breath you were unknowingly holding. “Yeah, let’s go.”

What an idiot you are.

The smell of meat filled the room packed to the brim with college students. Baekhyun sat stuck in the middle of Chanyeol and Jongdae and was somehow appointed to the meat as he got the lowest runs during practice. The room was far too hot, even for Baekhyun and he grabbed the air conditioner remote, setting it at the coolest. The boys burst into raucous laughter at a story that Junmyeon was recalling but Baekhyun couldn’t find it in himself to laugh. He merely blinked as he flipped another piece of samgyeopsal.

His thoughts were running all over the place, like a hurricane. But it was all trained on you. 

Like that one time when he’d been coming from his class, he’d somehow spotted you in the midst of the crowd. You yawned, pulling down the hood covering your face and he had to hold back a snort at the way your flyaways stuck up filled with static energy. He started walking towards you, wanting to pet down the hairs but he stopped midway. Why would he want to do that? And he stood there like a fool, in the middle of the courtyard staring as you walked away from him.

He’d seen you so many other times and each time you drew him in to you and he didn’t know what was happening. Why his heart sped up at the sight of you so much, as if it were about to burst out of his chest. Why he had the urge to hug the living daylights out of you at the sight of you, as if you were his lover and he was yours. Why he blushed whenever you complimented him like a lovesick teenage boy. 

The not an idiot thing was the last straw. And what followed scared him to the deepest parts of his soul. You couldn’t just go around telling people those kinds of things with that much sincerity and stupid sparkle like you held the sun, stars, and meteorites in your eyes. It made him realize something. This whatever he felt, was different. 

It felt like how he used to feel back when he would consider you his best friend in the skip of a beat if anyone asked. It felt like that, but even more. And it scared him.

It was different from anything he felt when he was with any one of his past girlfriends. It was similar but far too different to even be compared. It was much more than that.

Was it friendship? Was it attraction? Could it maybe be… love?

Chanyeol knocked his elbow into Baekhyun’s ribs, lightly. “Baek, the meat’s burning.”

“Shit,” Baekhyun muttered to himself, still in a daze. This could be called love, couldn’t it? He always went on and on about how, all the girls he’s dated, he’s never loved. His heart was never full enough whenever he was around them to even be considered love. But around you—

“Baek,” Chanyeol called more loudly, this time jolting Baekhyun.

Baekhyun snapped his head towards Chanyeol, voice clearer. “Shit.”

“Yes, shit, the meat is burning,” Chanyeol pointed out and it finally registered in Baekhyun’s mind as to where he was. 

Baekhyun scrambled to save the meat, hurriedly flipping them, and blowing out a sigh as they were still edible.

“What’s wrong?” Chanyeol breathed, mouth full with meat. He placed a piece in a perilla leaf, adding a tiny dollop of ssamjang and placing it in Baekhyun’s hand.

Baekhyun takes it, mulling over the question. “I don’t know.” He put the wrap in his mouth, slowly chewing. “You know Y/N, right?”

Chanyeol nods, sipping his water and swallowing. 

“What do you think about her?”

Chanyeol hums. “She’s nice. Why? Do you like her?”

Baekhyun chokes on the water he’s drinking. “What? Me? Like her?”

Chanyeol shrugs. “You asked me what I thought.”

“But I don’t like her,” he wrongfully states. The way those words fall out of his lips, every word placed in it, feels wrong.

“Didn’t she used to be your friend or something like that?” Chanyeol reasons, eyebrows furrowing.

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Okay, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol interjects, seeing the inner conflict and what exactly Baekhyun was trying to get at here. “I’m going to ask you three questions.”

Baekhyun stares at him, confused. “About what?”

“One.” Chanyeol holds up his index finger, ignoring his question. “Do you like spending time with Y/N?”

Baekhyun blinks but slowly nods. Over the past few weeks where your interactions with him have slowly raised, he realized that whatever time spent with you, whether it was just a few moments, or hours on end, he never despised it. He even sometimes looked forward to it. No matter how cold he acted towards you. 

“Two.” Chanyeol pops another finger up. “Do you think she’s pretty?”

“W-what? How is that even… relevant—?”

“Answer the question, Byun.”

Baekhyun bites his lip. “Okay, yeah, she’s pretty, I guess.” This question doesn’t take long for him to answer. When you were little, Baekhyun always figured you were pretty with your blinding smile and sparkly eyes, and as you grow up, your features maturing and becoming more distinct, he’d say you’d become beautiful. In his eyes at least.

Chanyeol claps his hand, a smile spilling over his features. “Close your eyes for a minute.”

Baekhyun complies, albeit hesitantly, just in case this was just some prank and Chanyeol is just sneaking some raw garlic in his wrap. But Chanyeol’s words pull him in.

“You’re standing there, okay?”

Baekhyun imagines this well enough. He stood in the middle of a road that he’s never seen before, alone. He doesn’t know what Chanyeol’s point is but he doesn’t open his eyes just yet, intrigued as to what comes next.

“Y/N is there next to you,” his deep voice continues.

Baekhyun places you right in front of him. You’re standing there how he saw you the last time you crossed paths. Bundled up in an oversized hoodie, and jeans, your go to outfit everytime he sees you. Hair pulled into a low ponytail because as you said, it’s annoying when its down, and it hurts when it’s too high up. And only a touch of lip balm because makeup takes too much time and according to you, doesn’t fit you. He thinks you’d look pretty in anything—wait, no! This is exactly what he’s not supposed to be thinking. However, the butterflies in his stomach start to stir.

“And then she’s leaning closer  and closer…” Chanyeol hums again. 

The you behind his eyes, mirrors the actions and he watches, wide eyed as you’re almost nose to nose with him. Your breath fans over his cheeks and you flutter your eyes shut, standing there, waiting. He knows what comes next and his heart aches, his skin tingles, waiting for him to continue. He can’t even pinpoint whatever he’s feeling. He needs to repress it, he knows that he should or else it will just end up absolutely horrible. Baekhyun can’t seem to make a decision. His lips press into a thin line before his body is moving before he can react.

And he’s kissing you.

Baekhyun’s eyes fly open. He’s met with Chanyeol’s trademark grin set in place and a slight rise to his eyebrows. “So? What did you see?”

“We…” Baekhyun voice was barely above a whisper and he felt his skin tingle. That was it wasn’t it? “We kissed.” The butterflies raged and he let them.

Jongdae knows the tension between you and Baekhyun. He can quite literally feel it when he’s in close proximity between the two of you. It’s so thick it suffocates him. But he knows he can fix it. He’s good friends with the both of you and he knows where the two of you went wrong. Baekhyun is scared and running away from his feelings and you are beating yourself over having feelings for him. It’s a never ending cycle and Jongdae just wants it to stop. Which is why he’s strategically planned this last work study to the tiniest detail naming it: Let’s Get Them Together Because Everyone is Fucking Sick of it. The name needs work but the sentiment is still there.

The warmth of the cafe drafts over him as he opens the door, with you following closely behind him. He meets Baekhyun’s eyes for a split second before they immediately go towards you as you hide behind Jongdae like he’s some barrier. He doesn’t appreciate this and would prefer more eye contact between the two of you as to initiate something, so he moves away. 

Jongdae reaches the table and hovers, as you take a seat on the edge seeing that Baekhyun took the other. You face each other, but don’t dare to look at one another. The both of you were thoughtful enough to leave a seat for him straight in the middle, so there was that at least.

Operation Let’s Get Them Together because Everyone is Fucking Sick of it is now a go.

“Y/N! Why don’t you show Baekhyun that thing you showed me last night?” Jongdae chimes, smiling. Baekhyun looks questionably between the two of you before focusing his attention on you where you pulled out your laptop and materials. “Would the two of you like anything to drink?” He further questions, inwardly patting himself on the back when the two of you scoot closer together to ‘see’ your screen.

“I’m fine,” you chimed, voice soft. “Thank you.”

“Baekhyun?” Jongdae questions before looking at the cup Baekhyun taps at.

“I’m good too.” 

“Alrighty, then!” Jongdae exclaims, clapping his hands together, before narrowing his eyes at you. “Make sure you tell Byunnie here, everything alright? And in detail too!” 

Jongdae proceeds to skip off, laughing heartily at the weird stares you probably shared behind his back. Jongdae wasn’t planning on doing anything. Just fueling the spark that already came between the two of you.

Baekhyun’s eyes have opened into a new dimension and he knows about what’s driving him to act like this towards you. Well of course, he knows, he’s always known but always chose to ignore it. But now, he wants to change. He wants to change but now, he doesn’t know how. 

It’s been one week since his talk with Chanyeol and the three of you had met up almost everyday, seeing as you didn’t have much time to cram it all into the last day. He felt his walls breaking around you. A small smile whenever you scrunched your nose at a term you didn’t understand, turning to Jongdae all confused with some tech problem only to find out that it was something stupid—you would turn in to a blushing mess after. Whenever he met eyes with you, you would immediately look away and it made his heart clench. 

Sometimes you made yourself so small, he forgot you were even there, letting his walls break down thinking he was only in front of Jongdae. He would then remember that you were present, making eye contact and he would then see the pretty blush you would sport. He’d shut up straight away.

Jongdae had planned to meet at a cafe this time, going out for ice cream later in celebration for finishing. Baekhyun had come far too early, going straight after his last class just in case he came too late—a bad habit of his. And once the two of you arrived together, he’d straightened, ready to get this done and over with. He still didn’t know what was going to happen with the two of you, but has accepted that whatever would happen, would happen. But after that weird encounter with Jongdae, he felt like something was up.

“That was… weird right?” Baekhyun spoke, looking at you.

“Yeah,” you breathed, “totally weird.” You didn’t look him in the eyes as you said this.

There were a few moments of silence that drifted between the two of you, the ambiance of the cafe seeming to make up for the lack of conversation, before you spoke up.

“Did you manage to find the stuff about the stool analysis? That’s what Jongdae was talking about earlier, I guess. He told me about it and I found some stuff just in case you didn’t,” you started shifting your computer towards him.

He leaned over, hoping with the depths of his soul that you couldn’t hear how loud his heart was beating in front of you. You pointed out the parts that you found interesting and the differences between the analysis you’d come up with the days before. Baekhyun hummed, nodding along to everything you were saying, before one point caught his eye. He pointed this out. “This one seems nice to use.”

You grinned, before flipping open your notebook. “Right? I thought so too. I found some additional information about that specimen and compiled them so we could add it to our presentation.” You slid the notebook over to Baekhyun as well, and he had to scoot his chair closer to see. 

“If we use this in our presentation...” he started, lifting his head up and locking eyes with yours. His voice faltered. 

You were a breath away from him, nose almost brushing into his. He stayed there, frozen, wondering as to what to do in this situation, mind running a mile a minute and yet doing nothing at all. You were the first to move, coughing haphazardly, and leaning away from him, before pulling open a few more tabs saved on your bookmarks.

It would be okay, right? It was just you that his heart was beating for. Baekhyun was just a little too late in realizing that.

Jongdae entered at just the right time and Baekhyun spent the rest of the time, avoiding your eye now and trying his very best to control the beating of his heart.

Night had fallen as they exited out of the cafe. Baekhyun and you both carried a drink, yours being hot chocolate and Baekhyun’s another coffee to keep him awake for the rest of the night. With increased practice for baseball came less time for him to focus on his studies. And he really needed that stable GPA.

“Well, I go this way,” Jongdae states, cocking his thumb to the right. You and Baekhyun turn to look at him, confusedly.

“Isn’t your apartment like right next to mine, though?” you ask, confusedly.

“Well, yes, but I promised to meet someone earlier. Sorry I can’t walk you home, Y/N, and no ice cream,” he apologizes before his eyes brighten up again. “Oh, Baekhyun! Can’t you just walk her home? You’re headed in somewhat the same direction, right?”

Baekhyun scratches the back of his head. “I guess?”

“Great!” Jongdae exclaims before skipping off once again.

“Jongdae is acting really weird today…” you comment and Baekhyun can’t help but nod his head in agreement.

It’s a twenty minute walk from where you are now to your apartment building. Half of the time is spent silent with Baekhyun. 

Until you meet Sehun at the crosswalk.

“Oh, Y/N-noona, Baekhyun-hyung!” Sehun calls, and you wave at the familiar face, Baekhyun nodding in greeting. “Didn’t know you were such a gentleman, hyung,” Sehun teases, poking at Baekhyun’s sides. The older man swats at his arm in retaliation sticking his tongue out at the former. You laugh to the side at the two children it feels like you’re walking home.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you pull it out, eyes lighting up at the name.

“Who is it?” Sehun asks, as he slides next to you.

“My mom,” you reply.

The words are falling out of Baekhyun’s lips before he could stop them. “Tell her I said hi.”

You smile. “Okay.”

You pick up the phone, voice soft as you slowly walk in front of the two boys. “Hi, Mom.”

“Yes, yes, I’m good. Oh, by the way, Baekhyun says hello. Yes, the one from next door.”

You look back at Baekhyun. “My mom says hello back and that you should come over some time,” you state. “You don’t have to if you want to, though,” you add as an afterthought.

“I’ll come over if I have some time later,” he tries.

“Sure,” you answer, relaying his words to your mom. Baekhyun can’t help but look endearingly at you from the back.

Sehun brings Baekhyun’s attention on to him, then. “Hyung.”

He looks over, eyes blinking, as he places his hands in his pockets, craving the warmth as a particularly fierce wind drafts through. “What’s up?”

“You like her, don’t you?”

Baekhyun blushes at the sudden confrontation. He thinks about it for a second before replying, not once thinking that it not be true. “Yeah, I do. Why do you ask?”

“She… talked to me earlier about you. Like a few days ago,” Sehun started, voice lowering. The three of you passed the crosswalk and continued on the side of the road. Sehun and Baekhyun lagged the tiniest bit as you walked along unaware of the conversation being shared between the two boys.

“Yeah?”

“She said she said something to you and you just turned cold and it was all her fault. I didn’t push her, but I asked her why she didn’t just play it off and say that she didn’t mean it,” Sehun started, getting straight to the point. Baekhyun waited on the balls of his heels for the answer. “You know what she said?”

Baekhyun shook his head.

“It’s better this way. What if I grow too attached and he just leaves again. I don’t think I can do that.” Sehun looked at Baekhyun gauging him for an answer.

So... that’s how she felt?

Baekhyun didn’t like to think about the period when you stopped being friends. He thought it would be better for you, to stay away from his crowd. You would always used to point to them, saying that you didn’t like them because of how snotty there were. And when Baekhyun joined the baseball team, with those same people, he thought you would hate him for that or at least grow to hate him so he just... distanced himself before he could get hurt. Because he was childish. And immature. He didn’t account to how you would feel, thinking that you would get over it. Maybe Baekhyun was as much a stable in your life as you were in his.

“I’m telling you this, because I know you’re a good person and I really don’t want you to hurt her again. When you left her before, I think it affected her more than she lets on. She doesn’t show it much, but I think that’s why she’s so wary with people in general. I really don’t want to see her like that, ever. So please—”

“It’s okay, Sehunnie,” Baekhyun interjects. “I know. I’m planning on making things right between us and I don’t plan on letting her go.”

“Are you sure?” Sehun asks warily.

Baekhyun nodded in confirmation as you finally turn back, hanging up on your phone call and noticing the distance between you and the two of you boys.

You laugh. “You guys are so slow!”

Yes, Baekhyun is sure. He knows what he wants to do. What he needs to do.

You shivered under the touch of the cool autumn sky, the breeze ruffling up your hair. As an attempt to block yourself from the harsh winds, you pulled up your hoodie, the fabric covering your ears giving you just the warmth you crave. 

A familiar mud green slide that twirled around like a pretzel came into view as you turned the corner. Your heart felt full at the images of sunny days and fall evenings spent in the very same space years ago, with a certain child.

It was surreal when you turned towards the swings and saw the same kid that you remember from your childhood. Tousled mop hair that went past the eyebrows, button nose, rosy cheeks, and the poutiest of pouts adorned his lips as he glared at the rock a few meters away. His jean clad legs, swung back and forth and the momentum carried him down then up then down and up again, a repeating cycle. As a child, you could never stand the swings for long—they made you get butterflies in your stomach, and not the good kind.

He spotted you, eyes widening and legs skidding across the wood chips to halt his flight, before you could even wonder whether you wanted to be there or not. It looked as if you’d intruded on a rather private moment. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

You stepped out of the shadows, clammy hands gripping the strap of your bag. “I’d ask the same to you.”

The swing only slightly rocked back and forth now and you walked up to him, taking the adjacent seat. You didn’t look at him, absentmindedly kicking your legs back and forth but then decided against it when a wave of nausea passed over you. Some things never change. 

Baekhyun exhaled a heavy breath that somehow had layers to it. The creaking of the metal joints, rusted over years of children taking turns and calling dibs, showing, as he rocked back and forth. “You remember this place?”

You look towards the side, his voice drawing your attention. Clear, resolute, brights, but at this moment it sounded much different than the Baekhyun you remember. His head was tilted back, eyes closed and face relaxed, serene, and you couldn’t help but feel that way too. This place did something like that to you. All the jitters, and nervous butterflies were drowned out by the aura of this place, and it made you feel calm, comfortable. Home. “Of course I do,” you whispered. You were afraid that if you spoke too loud, something would break, and this, whatever this was would go with it. Your voice merely echoed through the space between the two of you, the buzz of cicadas quickly rebutting it.

“I come here sometimes,” he looks towards you as he says this, and you hold his eyes. Your eyes wander across his face. He looks so tired. “To think.”

You smile a small smile. “Funny.” He cocks an eyebrow at your comment. You shake your head at his pointed look. “I came here just to do that.”

“Do you come here often?” 

Your breath comes out in visible puffs in front of you. “No.” Another, but larger. “Yes.” 

He chuckles, his signature laugh making your smile grow even bigger. “And we’ve never seen each other before today? Crazy.”

“Yeah,” you grin. “Crazy.”

Your eyes bore into him, as Baekhyun, and as you see the way his shoulders hunch back, the furrow of his eyebrows, how his skin almost sags, the shadows bringing out the darkness under his eyes. You can’t help but ask, again. “Are you okay?”

His head tilts to your side and he opens one of his eyes, peering at you almost upside down, sideways. “Of course I am,” he chirps, “just a little tired ‘s all.”

“Then why don’t you go sleep?” 

He tilts his head back up, eyes closing. “Can’t.” Silence looms over the two of you, but he breaks it, once again. “I actually need to apologize to you.”

You turn towards him, confusion etched over your face. “Apologize?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “I’m really sorry for being super... distant to you these past weeks. I don’t really know what got over me.”

“No, no, I mean,” you stutter, grasping his words and reason for an apology. “I should be apologizing. I guess, I stepped over a line, and your reaction was normal for what I did—”

“For what you did?” he interjects, puzzled. “I don’t get it, are we even talking about the same thing?”

“The locker rooms?” you try, wincing at the harsh memory and its outcome.

“Yeah… but you didn’t say anything like that—”

“Yes, but I said something that were implied in my words and—”

“Okay,” he grins and you warily meet his eyes. “How about we just forget that ever happened and start over again?” He cocks his head cutely and you inwardly coo, being reminded of the child you once knew (and now know again).

“Okay,” you agree, smiling.

The small smile he sported suddenly turned larger and much more wary. A mischievous grin pulled at the corner of his lips as he stood up to his full height, the swing twirling erratically at the loss of his weight. “I have an idea.” He bends down to pick up the backpack perched on the corner pole of frame when he looks at you, almost shy, and you were transported once again to the time when you were just a child and didn’t know anything better in the world. “You don’t need to be anywhere soon, do you?”

You shake your head no as you mirror him, dusting off your behind for remaining dirt, and straightening out your jacket.

“Great,” he beamed. “Let’s go!”

The arcade was still the same as you remember it. When you came to, wondering where in the hell Byun Baekhyun was taking you and whether you should’ve followed or him or just ditched to a sauna for the rest of the night was swiped clear out of your memory when you arrived at the front. A few of the letters balanced on a hilt of the building, were fused out, the A, C, and E, black in the darkness of the night. The sign now spelled, ‘RAD’ but you remembered the time when all of the letters dazzled bright colors all on their own.

Baekhyun shot you one of his award winning smiles when you looked at him, incredulously, mouth agape. “This was still here?” you marveled, breathlessly. 

He nodded, excitingly. “It hasn’t changed one bit.”

And he wasn’t wrong. 

The entrance was dimly lit, only one person over the counter and the teenage boy looked eerily dead, the light above him flickering on and off. When the bell chimed as you entered, he jolted, eyes glazing over the two of you.

“For two?” He queried, monotonously.

“Yes, please,” Baekhyun replied, bouncing on the tips of his toes.

The boy registered and handed you the tickets as you and Baekhyun paid for your own. Baekhyun tried paying for you saying that he dragged you into it, but you stared him down, and he eventually caved. Why would he even pay for you? It’s not like the two of you were on a—no! Y/N, don’t go there! Bad territory to be roaming around especially this close to a guy in a seemingly empty space. You shake your head free of thoughts as you focused back on the game at hand.

Baekhyun had got the lead when you glanced at his screen, but you quickly overpassed him, a trick from so long ago, now muscle memory, taking over you.

He groaned and you cheered as the tickets from under piled out and a crown displayed on your screen and a frowny face on his. You had an urge to soothe the scrunch between his brows when you saw him gloating off the number of tickets you accumulated over the time you’d been here. 

As you headed to the counter filled with different toys and stuffed animals, the clock behind it showed that it was almost 10. You’d been here for two hours? It barely felt like 1.

Baekhyun’s eyes were trained on a pikachu plushie to the corner. He didn’t have enough tickets to buy them.

“I’ll get the Pikachu, over there,” you pointed, and couldn’t help but coo at the small almost inaudible whine that blew past Baekhyun’s lips. “Are you going to get anything?”

His eyes flitted between the number of tickets displayed on the machine and back to the wall of toys. 

“How about that tiger over there? It kinda looks like you,” you nudged, smiling, when his eyes brightened up again at the sight. 

“Okay,” he states. “I’ll take that one.”

The walk back was heavy, silent. The impending doom and the utter discomfort at not having a bed for the night loomed over you and you cursed yourself for ever giving in to your roommate's enticing offers. Dammit, you and your weak heart.

Baekhyun took a deep breath as the ticking of the crosswalk, halted you from the street. “I go this way.”

He points towards his left and you know your apartment is in the opposite direction but you can’t help but want to lie and walk with him just a little bit more. Everything about today had just been so... nice. There was no other way to describe. It made your cheeks blush red, your breath unsteady, your legs stagger and you heart beat so hard you felt as if it would burst out of your chest.

The words were falling past your lips and you wished to take them back as soon as they escaped when you saw the worry fall onto his face. “I was just gonna crash at a cafe for the night.”

“Too much homework?” he questioned.

“Well, yes, and I’ve been kicked out of my room for the night,” you laughed the last part off, hoping that it didn’t sound as bad as it really should. And then you realized that it did sound as bad as it did and you were quick to rebuke just in case a tiny part of Baekhyun worried for you. “I mean! It’s not a big deal or anything, just I owe Sehun a big favor and apparently his plus one’s house is under plumbing or something and I do have that essay do the day after, and I guess, it just all works out...?”

“You don’t have anywhere else?”

You nervously chuckled. “I already tried...? And it’s fine. Not the first time—”

“You can stay with me,” Baekhyun interjected. You coughed a sudden cough. “If you want to, I mean.”

“Uhhhh, well—”

“You’ll have to owe me a favor, of course, it’s not every day I let someone borrow the mattress under my bed, but it’s fine if its you, as long as it is a big favor.”

You stood speechless for the minutest of moments. “I—is that okay?”

“Yeah, it's cool. A big favor, though, okay,” he pointed. 

You held your hands up in surrender. “A big favor,” you repeated. 

He dropped his finger and a lazy smile that brightened up his face all the more, washed over him. “Let’s go then, I’m bunked.”

You startled awake, eyes shooting open. Darkness meets you and it takes a few moments to register the room you’re in with the only light source being from the tiny gap in the curtain. Curtains. Blue curtains. You don’t have blue curtains. 

You’re currently on the floor. Laying on a mattress. There are two bunk beds on either side of you. One of them occupied with Byun Baekhyun who is currently dangling from the bed and drooling. Your brain finally registers awake and reruns everything that happened the night before, starting from your unexpected meeting all the way to Baekhyun’s gracious offer. Considering where you are now, last night wasn’t a dream.

You throw off the covers, suddenly feeling hot. Did he always sleep with no air conditioner? You wondered whether or not you should stay until he woke up, or if you’d be overstaying your welcome. Padding around for your phone, it was half past nine. You didn’t have any classes until the afternoon. You decided to kill time going through your social media, having nothing else to do. But your eyes soon got bored and trailed towards Baekhyun’s almost right above you.

You could make out his distinct features in the dim lights, the ones you are used to and everyone saw, but there was something so peaceful with the way his eyelashes laid against his cheeks and his lips and cheeks a rosy pink. And the drool. You stifled a laugh when the drool started to roll down his chin, threatening to drop off.

It wasn’t long for your heart to start pounding in your eardrums at the serenity of this environment and how quiet everything is. It starts getting louder, almost deafening until you peel your eyes away from Baekhyun.

You suddenly make eye contact with Chanyeol, who gazes at you blankly, face held in his palm.

You intake a sharp breath at the confrontation as he narrows his eyes at you. “Did Baekhyun bring you here?” he whispers.

You nod slowly before realizing the implication of the statement. “Wait, no! Not like that,” your harsh whisper makes Baekhyun stir and your wide-eyed as Chanyeol hold his finger to his lips. Like a deer caught in headlights you slowly nod in understanding. “I just didn’t have a place to stay, and Baekhyun offered. That’s all.”

Chanyeol’s eyes are clouded. You can’t tell what he’s thinking. For such an expressive person that everyone claims him to be he seems far too intimidating in front of you right now. “Do you like him?”

“What? No! Of course not.” you refute harshly. Chanyeol’s eyes narrow down at you. You wither under his gaze. “Okay, maybe a little. But don’t tell him, alright?”

“And why is that?” he presses.

“Just, please, I—” 

I’m scared. You choke back the words.

“I don’t want to lose him as a friend.”

Chanyeol nods. “Okay. Just be careful with him, okay? Some people use him because he’s Byun Baekhyun and he just lets it happen because he’s too nice and won’t say anything, so just when you’re with him, take care of him alright?”

You look at him questionably. “Why are you telling me this?”

He laughs, waving the question off. “It’s nothing.”

“Huh... you’re awake?” Baekhyun slurs from above you.

“Oh, Baekhyun!” Chanyeol grins. “I was just about to make breakfast, Y/N, will you join me?” A flip had switched in Chanyeol’s demeanor and your eyes don’t leave his, even as he shuffles out of his bed, his earlier words bouncing off the walls in your head. 

Baekhyun groans and flips his covers on top of his head, muffling a five minutes. Chanyeol cocked his towards you. “Coming?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, trailing behind Chanyeol.

xxx - xxx - xxxx [6:15 PM]: hey, Y/N! this is baekhyun! I got ur number from sehunnie if ur wondering 

xxx - xxx - xxxx [6:15 PM]: i gave sehun a lil something for you :) make sure you wear it to the game tomorrow!

xxx - xxx - xxxx [6:15 PM]: also u forgot your pikachu at mine

‘xxx - xxx - xxxx has been added as a new contact: baekhyun’

y/n [6:16 PM]: ...should i be worried?

y/n [6:16 PM]: and you can keep it. u probably wanted it more than me. think of it as... payment? for letting me stay the night

baekhyun [6:17 PM]: it’ll look cute on u i swear!!! just please :,( for me??

baekhyun [6:17 PM]: also the pikachu will do

y/n [6:18 PM]: i hope ur not lying 

baekhyun [6:18 PM]: i'm not!!!

y/n [6:19 PM]: sehun just came so i hope u stick to ur word

baekhyun [6:19 PM]: you’ll love it, trust me ;)

baekhyun [6:19 PM]: oh, i’ve gotta go now, duty calls

y/n [6:19 PM]: oh okay

y/n [6:20 PM]: get lots of rest and gl for tomorrow!!!

baekhyun [6:21 PM]: dw ill win it :)

baekhyun [6:21 PM]: just for you 

‘message failed to send. try again?’

Baekhyun gave you one of his old jerseys, and a yellow t-shirt. You got the reference, his favorite color being yellow, and ‘byun’ printed on the back of the jersey.

“All the Baekhyun fans have one of these, but hyung said this one was special since he got it personally for you or some bullshit.” You didn’t care much for Sehun’s snarkiness, taking the clothing with gentle hands and scurrying off into your bedroom to squeal because Baekhyun got this just for you!!!

You’d tucked it into a pair of loose-fitted jeans the afternoon after, spending hours doing your hair and makeup before topping it off with a team hat. You’d gone for a minimalistic look, trying too much to make sure it didn’t look like you actually spent hours on it. Not that you were dressing up for a certain someone—who are you kidding, you are totally dressing to impress. Sehun took one look at you and snorted. You swatted his arm ignoring the look he gave you. “I haven’t seen this much effort since prom in senior year.”

You huffed a whatever, stalking out of your apartment and placing yourself in the backseat of his car, as you went to pick up Mina. Apparently the two of them were together again. You figured you knew when that happened.

When you get to the field, Sehun announced that he’s hungry and went off to the hot dog stand. You and Mina, meanwhile, climb up to your seats taking in the view. The bleachers are filled to the brim with people from your school and also people from not. You underestimated the sheer popularity of the baseball team in your state.

And you also noticed many other girls dressed up similarly to you. 

“So there’s something between you and Baekhyun?” Mina spoke up, from beside you.

Your head whipped towards her and your mouth opened and closed like a fish, unable to make a response. 

She glanced towards your shirt and then to the fine print of ‘byun’ across your back and raised an eyebrow at your lack of an answer.

“W-were just friends,” you finally stuttered out.

Mina’s eyebrows raise up another level. “Sure…” she says, sounding totally not convinced. “Because friends blush at the mention of another friend’s name.”

Your hands fly to your cheeks patting them down. “I’m not blushing,” you frown.

She laughs. “Whatever you say, but I personally think you’d be good together.”

You look at her, curiously, egging her to go on.

“I mean, Baekhyun doesn’t really date that often. Eunha—was a stupid decision on his part, I don’t know what got into him. But he’s a good guy and I think he really likes you, Y/N.”

“He likes h-h-uh?” you bumble, head spinning.

Mina snickers. “Yeah, I think he does. And I’m the best when figuring out these types of things,” she grins, adding a cheeky wink towards you. 

Your left to mull about her words, as Sehun enters, handing you your hot dog and soda.

“Oh, it’s starting!” Sehun comments and the pitcher throws the first ball. The crowd goes wild.

The game ends with your team winning 6-4 and you find yourself cheering for them along with the others in the crowd.

Sehun drags you towards the locker rooms, telling you that it’ll be fine, and Baekhyun will totally not be weirded out by you visiting him after the game and telling him a good job. 

“Sehun!” One of the team called out as you entered the locker room. A horde of sweaty boys swatted at your friend and took the compliments he threw out. You craned your neck searching to find a familiar pink-haired boy before someone called your name from behind.

You turned to find Baekhyun, with a towel slung over his neck, bangs sticking to his forehead, and cheeks flushed. Not to mention the smile that spread over his face like he just saw an angel. He looked effortlessly hot. So unfair.

He jogged towards you and before you could even say a hello, he threw his arms around your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You froze for a split second before wrapping your arms around his shoulders, a small smile playing on your lips. You forgot that he was really touchy realizing he must’ve never outgrown the habit, not that it was a particularily bad one. His drooling was far worse. With how tight he was hugging you, you figured it must’ve been out of relief. You knew it. He really was worried for the game.

“You did really well,” you breathed, lips hovering over his ear. He smelled like sweat, undoubtedly and you were sure the warmth would stick to your skin soon enough, but didn’t dare shy away from his hold. He would always hold you like this back then as well and you felt comfort from that fact. Some things really do never change. 

He groaned, voice muffled by your skin. His lips moving against your neck sent shivers through your skin so even if you did hear it, your mind was on another level. Finally he pulled his head back, still crouched so he looked up at you, a smirk sporting his lips. 

“You wore it.”

You rolled your eyes, and pulled your hands away from him, as he stood to his full height. “You’re the one who begged me to, Byun,” you huffed.

“No, I didn’t!” he exclaimed, sounding aghast at your presumption.

“Oh, really?” you egged, eyes sparkling. “Please? Just for me? Ring any bell?”

“Okay, okay, whatever, you say,” he grinned, hand coming up to ruffle your hair.

You frowned playfully before continuing. “But you did a really good job! You worried over nothing.”

“Who said I worried?” he pouted.

You laughed before motioning to his eye bags. He swatted at your hands, before the two of you burst into giggles. 

And then suddenly he’s grabbing your free hand, his encasing yours in warmth and raising it up into the air before shouting a loud ‘let’s go!’ to the rest of the people in the room.

The team chorused shouts in answer before Baekhyun tugged at your arm, eyes smiling like they held the galaxy and stars back at you before pulling you with the crowd that filed out of the cramped room. 

You lost Baekhyun to the crowd once you got to the party. Migrating towards the kitchen, you grabbed a soda from the fridge, deciding to pass on the drinks tonight, no matter how enticing they were. Sehun found you brooding in the corner not two minutes later, and true to his word, didn’t leave your side. You, Sehun, and Mina, played in a beer pong game with some guys you vaguely recognize from your sociology class, but can’t put a name on. You played rock, paper, scissors, every time to see who’d drink and it was as if Sehun got on the wrong side of Dionysus tonight. You quickly got bored, however, gravitating away from the crowd when Sehun and Mina headed out on to the dance floor. It couldn’t really be called that when really it was just the living room with some strobe lights and stereos that blasted half-assed music.

You took a seat on the empty two seater, sipping on your soda, and looking up when Jongdae came down to sit next to you.

“Having fun?” he asked, voice almost muffled by the music even though he was practically screaming.

“I think I’ve had enough for the night,” you laughed. “I’ll just find Baekhyun and Sehun and tell them I’m leaving before I go,” you say before getting up.

“Oh, I think I saw Baekhyun before, I’ll take you to him,” he commented, before leading the way.

It isn’t hard to find Baekhyun, what with his eccentric hair color and white outfit. However, Jongdae suddenly stops in front of you, making you bump into him. 

His mouth opened to say something and you peeked over his shoulder, thinking that there was something there that you just had to see. “What is it—”

Your voice falters and then you lock eyes with Byun Baekhyun. And he’s kissing someone. He’s kissing Eunha.

Baekhyun regrets it the moment it happened. His eyes fly open, when her mouth comes into contact with his and he sees your eyes undoubtedly meet his across the crowds of people hovering over the shoulder of Kim Jongdae. You stare into his eyes and before he can even pull away or shout your name, your gone, surrounding yourself in the shadows with Jongdae running behind you. He snaps his head back, glaring at Eunha.

He doesn’t bother to speak a word to her, opting to run after the way you came from. Shit, shit, shit, this probably would not end well. No, no, no need for negative thoughts, he will make it end well.

He doesn’t find you in the kitchen which was the way you were headed but he found Sehun and pounced on his immediately.

“Did you see, Y/N?”

“Huh, no, why?” Sehun asked, eyebrows furrowed. The smile was wiped off his face and in place a frown. “Hyung…”

“Just, see if she texted you maybe?” Baekhyun pleads, voice growing louder at the upturn of music. Sehun cocks his head but does as he said, eyes widening before showing him the text.

y/n: sorry sehunnie, didn’t feel too well. went back home if you need me ^^

Baekhyun’s heart runs into overdrive, and he’s out of the door a split second after. His feet are carrying him as fast as possible and when he’s finally on the elevator going up to your floor, eyes blown out and breath ragged from running, he takes a moment to conserve himself. It was a mistake. And you have to understand that. Because what Baekhyun realized as he was egging the taxi driver to go faster across the city, was that he wanted you there with him. He wanted to kiss you. Not Eunha. Not anyone else. And he wanted to kiss you really fucking bad. 

The door dings open and he sees the color of your jacket as you shuffle through your bag, presumably looking for your keys.

He’s by your side in a second and you turn and look around to see what's all the raucous. You visibly stiffen. Your face is streaked with tears, eyes puffy, cheeks blotchy, and lips a dark rouge as if you’ve been biting them for hours. 

“Y/N…” Baekhyun starts hand reaching for your wrist unconsciously. You shift away from this and Baekhyun notices that deflating.

“What are you doing here?” you question, voice wobbling, as if you were about to start crying any second now. And from the way it looked, it seemed to be true.

“That kiss—” he starts, and Baekhyun realizes his voice is far too loud for the quiet of the empty hallway and as you flinch, he takes a sharp breath. “That kiss meant nothing. Eunha doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. She’s just an ex, and I guess she thought since I was being nice to her that meant that we could be together again, and really it isn’t anything like that because I don’t like her anymore.”

You blink owlishly at him, looking as if you aren't digesting what he was saying, which made Baekhyun halt. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Be-because, you saw! You saw me kissing Eunha, and I obviously had to explain it or else there would be too many misconceptions—”

“You don’t have to tell me that. It’s not like I’m your girlfriend or anything.” You laugh heartlessly and sniffle. “I’m just some delusional girl who thinks that just because she used to be your friend ages ago, she would somehow have even a sliver of a chance that you would like her, but again that’s delusional! Because it somehow managed to slip my mind that you’re Byun Baekhyun of the baseball team. Handsome, smart, athletic, kind, caring, loving and not the Byun Baekhyun who’d tripped over his own feet and have dirt and drool over his face all the time—”

Your crying as Baekhyun kisses you.

His weight leans into you and you take small steps back as your back hits the wall behind you. He adds more pressure, tilting his head, hand gripping your hand more just in case you felt as if this wasn’t real, which he believed what would be running through your mind now. 

He feels like absolute putty when you soften at his touch and splay a delicate hand over his chest, and when he bites down on your lip you make a noncommittal noise from the back of your throat that has him falling. 

You squeak when Baekhyun’s hands, one placed on your hip and the other on your neck and in your hair and everywhere, tilt your head higher, bringing him deeper into the kiss. It isn’t until you gently push him back, breathless, and eyes hooded that he takes a moment to consider the predicament he stood in. 

“I’m not dreaming, am I?” you breathe, wiping the stray tears away from your face.

Baekhyun chuckles softly, patting down your hair. “I thought you would say that.”

The clicking of a lock from the other side of the hall, snaps both your attention towards it. Baekhyun is amused as you look at him wide-eyed as the clicks continue. You pick up the key that somehow dropped to the floor in the midst of everything and are quick to open your door pulling Baekhyun in. 

When the door shuts behind Baekhyun, with you leaning against his chest, breathing deep, and Baekhyun leaning against the door, he can’t help but feel like the luckiest man in the world.

His hands snake their way into your hair, one of them tilting your chin up. “Round two?” he smiles, cheekily.

You blush a pretty red before nodding and meeting him in the middle for a kiss.

[horrible-monstrosity]

I find myself increasingly concerned with the direction Legends Arceus is taking the relation between humans and Pokemens. No, I'm not talking about the bit with Pokemans attacking the player directly when you don't have your own Pokeymans ready, that was going to happen eventually, but just... the Sinnoh myths had stories about humans and Pokemon being so close they were considered the same sort of being, there's marriages, what have you, coming from thousands of years back. But this game apparently taking place only some hundreds of years ago... and it's "before Pokemons and humans lived together uwu"? The fuck? I feel like the games have been significantly moving away from humans and Pokemon being equals of a sort who both benefit from being together to Pokemons being some superior beings who humans benefit from but not vice versa and Pokemans are the superior creatures who humans should grovel in gratitude to and put up with all the shit from while never daring to burden them in any way. See gen 7, where living in haaaaarmony means having their lives and culture corralled by some asshole fairies because people can't be arsed to fight the ultra beasts, except the trainers who're forced to become kahunas fight the UBs themselves anyway (where they're forced to become fanatical enough about fighting to become strong enough to do so, but they're not even expected to be strong to fight UBs it's to lead their community... don't try understanding it just eat fairy shit and get excited for more fairy shit I guess). Why not just have a culture of the trainers who want to be strongest, or who have the greatest talent, being lauded as UB-fighters and becoming community leaders as well? Naw man, doing everything as the fairies want is haaaaarmony. Humans can't be strong enough with their Pokemon teams to fight the UBs, but have to be strong for other reasons ordained by The System, but then the ordained stronk humans have to fight the UBs anyway. But the fairies help, I guess. I fucking hate fairies man. Fucking elves of the Pokemon world. Smug sparkling fucks, fuck em I keep forgetting about the ride Pokemon but it still feels like the humans are supposed to bow and scrape to earn the gift of basic movement services so I don't think it really counts Gen 8 I don't know as well but it seems to go like this: Doggos are responsible for all good, their trainers or whatever their human companions are might as well not even exist. The postgame story is about those eeeeevil humans thinking they have some relevance to the doggos or something, eeevil I must say, so they have to do something evil to prove that.... um, something. Just some dumb shit that feels like a strawman argument against humans having any place in this world. Grovel to doggos.

Gen 6 was around the point where the weird cynicism started to creep into the franchise, mostly ORAS's weird abandoned ship segment, but it's pretty clear of this... aside from one random ace trainer or something late in XY who asks you, humans benefit from Pokemons, but how Pokemons benefit from huamn??? huh??? You're expecting an answer from him but he's just like, I bet you can't think of anything huh, hmmm??? Grovel, human.

You compare this to gen 5, and I'm not even talking about the Plasma plot (which was clearly bait on Plasma's part to get the public's sympathy anyway), but things like using Excadrill to dig out the mines. The 'drills were getting to do what they loved- dig- and being treated well by the humans in exchange for digging this spot in that way as directed. An equitable relationship that produced resources. This sort of thing existed as a counterpoint to N and Plasma's stated beliefs that humans were nothing but horrible for Pokemon and that they could never live together... Ironically what the later games are leaning towards, except that there is a way, and that's for humans to go fuck themselves. And again, Sinnoh's old myths, as well as any other myths that involve people and Pokemon together going back thousands of years.

I'd really thought the idea of this series was that Pokemon and humans were practically made for each other, that they were together from the very beginning. Raising Pokemon allows them to have a crafted moveset including TM and tutor moves, gain EVs, use held items aside from the few random ones they find in the wild... it's baked into the game itself completely incidentally. But no, I guess it's a Pokeyman's world and humans are just intruding on it somehow. What the fuck. Sigh.

I'm hoping that "Pokemans are so dangerouse man" line is just about the red-eyed frenzied Pokemon and that we aren't going into all Pokemons attacking humans and humans living forever at their mercy and deserving to scrape and grovel just to survive their onslaught.

By the way, my autistic retard fanfiction: First off, when the wall breaks and the doggo statues are found that make everyone realise who the "real" heroes are (something we can THANK Bede for by the way, because if he hadn't destroyed a priceless cultural artifact Eternatus would have gone off unopposed... but no one ever acknowledges this, as Bede is shat on and disowned by Rose for following what Rose taught him and then forced to trune out by trunny granny. figures she's a fairy trainer, I fucking hate fairies)- the idea that the doggos alone are the "real" heroes is actually a misconception brought on by people/society's tendency to elevate Pokemon, similar to why people bought PLasma's bullshit back in Unova. So when Eternatus is starting its nukes, people are just waiting for the doggos to get going and beat it... but when Hop sees the doggo statues, his budding professor brain immediately sees the truth- both the doggos and their human trainers are needed to unlock the true power of the sword and shield items. This even makes some sense with the game mechanics, as Pokemon typically can't use items more complicated than a berry... so with Leon and co busy fighting the dynamax mons and knowing no one would listen to him, Hop turns to the only person he can ask- you, who saw the doggos in the foggos at the beginning with him, to go retrieve the items so the doggos can actually do their thing. Also, Rose was radicalised and groomed by some crazy apocalypse cult, an ironic inversion of his supposed grooming of Bede (here he actually has a heartwarming father-son relationship of sorts with him). They pushed him to push the darkest day plan up like he did, convincing him there's a desperate energy situation but secretly just wanting the maximum apocalypse-ness out of a single action (while possibly believing themselves that there's an energy crisis but that the real solution is to destroy shit so less people and things use energy). So there's that. In the end he's taken to jail, but it's not some absurdly mundane ending where he just gets arrested for apocalypse crimes, rather he's being questioned for what he can tell them about the cult, on understanding that he was coerced into this, and that he can pay for his crimes by giving information on the cult itself. Bede relates this to you with some concern for his sort-of dad. The Swordward and Shieldbert plot (I forget if that's their actual names but whatever) has the two bros asking you to aid in investigating the apoc cult while preparing to accept their destiny as the doggos' masters. You see, they've been raised for this, learning all about Pokemon companionship but having no actual close contact with Pokemon at all (to prevent any Pokemon from forming a bond with them closer than what they'd have with the doggo- your first Pokemon is special, after all). Book smart but street dumb, in other words. You know, as opposed to some inexplicable dumb shit because Mother 3 ruined an entire generation of game writers. They call on the doggos to battle the baddies and are disappointed they go to you and Hop instead of them, but ultimately accept it. Afterwards, Hop contacts Sonia with a request... soon he has the two brothers over to choose their very first Pokemon. Swordbro was going on about Swordog's nobility and Shieldbro about wanting to touch Shieldog's fluffy mane, so Hop has out a Yamper and a Wooloo, presented as a choice, but he knows exactly which one they'll each choose. This is another manifestation of his potential as a professor- not only doing the professor thing of handing out first Pokemon, but considering what Pokemon they'd work well with. Isn't that nice? Also there's something in there about Bede's long lost identical twin who's also being used as a pawn by the apoco-cult but I'll explain that later

My idea for the origin of the Pokemon world as we know it- Arceus didn't create Pokemon, or the world itself, but it is responsible for the way the world is now. Once upon a time, when humans and Pokemon were one kind of being, there was too much strife and disagreement among the groups and nobody was learning their lesson, so Arceus got fed up and split the world into two types of beings that would have to get along in order to thrive. It instated the "rules" of Pokemon battles, that attacks have set damage ranges and types have well-defined interactions, that attacks in battles only deplete some abstract hit points level instead of causing the damage they "should" for what they are (this doesn't apply to wild-on-wild predation necessarily, so it's a privilege enjoyed by Pokemon being aided or advised by a human). Outsider beings- aliens, maybe ultra beasts, etc- are "converted" into Pokemon when they enter "Earth"'s airspace, which is why even beings from the furthest depths of space follow the rules and biology of earthbound species. These "rules" require Arceus' powers but don't rely on its constant action, so it can be captured and hang out with a trainer for a while, play by its own rules to see how things are going, without disrupting the system. I'd never expected anything even vaguely like this to turn canon of course, because it's so specific and particular to the sort of ideas I tend to have, but... not like this man

[girlsgonemildblog]

Who Made You Queen of Anything - The Bachelor, Season 25, Week 2 Recap

Image from abc.com

As I (and everybody else on the planet) predicted, Victoria made herself the center of attention for the entirety of this episode. We begin with Bri getting a one-on-one date, which causes all the other girls to mope about not getting the first one-on-on, Victoria included. One of the other girls who isn’t interesting enough for me to have learned her name yet tries to be friendly and comfort Victoria by saying, “It’s okay. We’re all jealous.”

Victoria then has an absolutely incredible response; “I’m not jealous; I just want what she has.” For anyone not familiar with this word, “wanting what someone else has” is the definition of jealousy. My jaw dropped at this line. And yet, that was somehow not the most shocking thing Victoria did in this episode.

Image from abc.com

Bri’s date was pretty boring; the two ride ATV bikes, and the rest of the girls watch them leave from 10 feet away. I live for this type of awkardness. They have a staged fall in the mud, then Matt chops wood shirtless, for some reason (I am not complaining), and I think there may have been a hot tub, but honestly, I was making myself a sandwich during the day portion of the date. During the night portion, the two bonded over both being raised by single mothers, and Matt gives her the rose. Overall, pretty blah date.

Back at the ranch (i.e., the “chateau” the women are staying in), the drama starts. Victoria, out of nowhere, decides to pick a fight with her roommate, Marylynn, for a reason I cannot figure out. From what I understand, Marylynn told Victoria that she wanted to get to know her better since they were sleeping in the same room. Victoria somehow interpreted this as “bullying” and decides to sleep on a couch in the living room instead of having to share a room with someone so evil as to ask her what she likes to do for fun. Marylynn will come back up later in the episode, so here’s a photo of her for those who may not remember who she is:

Image from abc.com

The next date is a group date of 18 girls. Usually, even at the beginning of the seasons, group dates max out at around a dozen people per date. Immediately, I knew this was going to be intense. The date begins with the girls getting into wedding dresses and taking fake-wedding photos with Matt. While this may seem insane to a bachelor-nation newcomer, this date actually happens every season. Victoria and Matt’s photo is laugh-out-loud funny and makes it abundantly clear that she is a producer plant:

Image from Twitter

While the photo shoot is going on, Chris Harrison emerges to announce the second half to the date; the girls are split into two teams of nine for a Hunger-Games-style round of Capture-The-Flag, and only the winners will go to the night-portion of the date. The producers clearly expected the girls to be a lot more vicious than they were; it was mostly giggling and flailing and over all boring.

Image from abc.com

During the cocktail hour, Lauren bonds with Matt because of the importance of religion in both of their lives. If you watched The Bachelorette last season, you will know that Tayshia broke up with one of her final three because their religious beliefs did not line up, so Matt giving Lauren the rose here seems significant.

Image from abc.com

The third date is another one-on-one with Sarah. The day-portion consists of them flying around in a bi-plane and landing in the middle of the woods. If it weren’t for the camera-crews and producers, Sarah probably would have been terrified she was about to get murdered. During the night portion, She tells Matt about how she quit her job to become a full time caretaker for her dad who is dying of ALS. This is a moving moment, but, as my mom and sister pointed out to me, it is a bit overshadowed by the fact that she is spending a portion the six-months her father has left to live on a reality show. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe she is trying to expedite the marriage process so that he can be there for her wedding. That sounds believable, right? Maybe? Anyway, Matt deems her trauma-dump worthy of a rose and she gets to remain for another week.

The next evening at the pre-rose-ceremony cocktail party, shit hits the fan. While having some private time with Marylynn, Matt presents her with orchids because he remembers they are her favorite flower. (Note: it is not common for the bachelor to do things like this.) Marylynn then rejoins the girls who, obviously, ask her where she got the flowers. She politely and humbly explains, and Victoria’s brain breaks. She rushes to go sit down with Matt and tells him that Marylynn is “toxic” and “bullying” her, but does not give any proof (because she has none).

Matt then speaks to Marylynn to clear up the situation, and, I think, realizes that nothing Victoria said makes any sense with Marylynn’s gentle personality. Marylynn is, understandably, upset and then tries to take Victoria aside so they can discuss their issues. Marylynn handles the situation politely and maturely, and Victoria refuses to let Marylynn even sit next to her on the couch. Even in the face of this ridiculousness, Marylynn still manages to stay calm and collected. Marylynn is impressively nice and I will be truly pissed off if she gets sent home because Victoria dragged her into made-up drama. That being said, Marylynn may be too well-adjusted to be on this show.

The rose ceremony starts, but in the middle of it, Sarah faints. The producers take her aside and Matt goes to comfort her and the episode ends on a cliffhanger. The Bachelor does a lot of lame cliffhangers, but this might be the worst. She already has a rose, so they’ll likely let her sit out of the rest of the ceremony and give her a glass of water and we’ll be on our merry way. Still, there are just things that go together; peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, The Bachelor producers and manufactured drama.

[christineeej94]

Falling again❤

a/n: something is telling me that I will have a long and excited summer and that’s because of you beautiful people. Thank you for you appreciation. Kisses🌻

The request:

Anonymous said:

Your writing is really good!! I was hoping to see if you can write an Aron Piper imagine where he & the reader are on a break but they’re both on elite & one night they all go out to club & he starts to get jealous that a guy is trying to get her attention but she doesn’t allow him to because she still has feelings for Aron & in the end they somehow end up back together? If you can somehow involve his song ‘Sigo’ in it that would be great! Wooo that was kinda a lot but I hope I make sense lmao

Warnings: fluff and bad language.

Word count:1.944

 Mina hands me a cup of coffee and I rub my forehead tired. We are on set and we just filmed a night scene at the club.  I smooth the soles of my silver dress and I take a sip from my drink. The flavored coffee wakes me up a little from my sleepiness. I see Arón smoking with Miguel and Itzan beside the trailer. It’s so hard to see him every day after we decided to have a break in our relationship.

It’s been a month from the moment when we split. I remember our fight every day. It was on a late night when we got home from set. I was so sleepy and I tired after a long day on set. I fell quickly asleep, but at 3 in the morning some loud laughs from the living room. Sometimes Arón loves to stay all night awake, listening to music or watching movies. He always is telling me that he thinks better at night. But when I got up so tired at 3 a.m. and I found him in the living room with 3 of his friends and a girl who I didn’t know I got so pissed. Not because he is awake at that hour, but he didn’t care about me and he was drunk and drugged. “What the fuck, Arón? It’s three in the morning and tomorrow we should be on set at 8.” He looked dizzy at me and a friend of his comment. “He can do what he wants, he didn’t need a chick to command his life.” I looked furious at him and I raised my finger to him. “Shut your month off, get your friends and get out of this apartment.” I yelled and they looked very amused, but they get out. I turned around to my boyfriend. “What’s in your mind? You didn’t care about your body and me. It’s late and tomorrow…” Arón interrupts me. “Give me a break, (Y/N). When we first met and we started to date, you were so fun, but now? Now you are like an old lady. You are right for me.” “Oh, you need a break Piper? Then we should have a break.” I yelled and I went back in the bedroom to get a part of my stuff.

 “You two are better?” Mina’s voice it takes me out of my thinking state. “Me and Arón? We barely speak to each other.” I respond I looked in her calm eyes. Me and Mina are best friends and we have similar personalities. We like same things and we are having a calm and chill temperament. “You know that you can stay with me, I have enough space for both of us.” She speaks and I nodded. “I know, but I want to find a place of my own.” I mumbled and I put my head on her shoulder. “I miss him. But he ignores me and it’s doesn’t look he wants to get back together.” I speak on a crying voice and she sighs. “You should speak with him, to clarify the situation. And, I wanted to ask you something. Are you coming to his launching party?” I nodded. His launching party for his song ‘SIGO’. I was thinking not to go at the party, but he wrote the song for me and I feeling very grateful for this. “Yeah, I’m coming if he doesn’t cut me from the guest list.” I smiled softly and Mina giggles.

“Mina, Omar, Arón and (Y/N) come here and let’s film the last scene for today. I got up and coming closer to Omar and Arón. My boyfriend perfume got me so dizzy. “(Y/N), you look so tired.” Omar smiled cute to me and I responded with a light smile. “I don’t rest that much in the last time.” I replied and I feel Arón strenuously. I can’t look at him right now because I know that I’m gonna cry.

 I got back at the hotel and fell on the bed. It’s 1 in the morning and I’m looking like a desperate person at the phone. Should I call him or should I text him? My life is so fucked up in this moment. I move my hands stressfully on my head. I call him, he should be awake right now. After the second tone a girly voice respond. “Hello?” I frowned my brows. “I think I call a wrong number.” I wanted to decline but the girl stopped me. “Arón is in shower right now, what’s your name?” I decline and I collapsed back in the sheets. FUCK FUCK FUCK. He already forgot me and I think that I interrupt something. I’m so happy because tomorrow is my free day, cause after this call I wouldn’t sleep well.

At 10 when I woke up with a huge headache, I called Mina to go shopping together. All night I was staring at walls and thinking at him being with another woman. This thought is making me very sad. We had 3 years together and I appreciate him so much, support him and love him like I never loved someone before.

Every morning he used to wake me up with a kiss and some coffee. We lunched always together and we visited so many places. I can’t open my phone gallery and looking at the photos because I will cry like a baby. “Come back to Earth, (Y/N).” Mina moves her hands in front of my face. She is showing me a red velvet dress and a black lace jumpsuit. “I think those are perfect for you, for tonight.” Mina moves her brows instigator. “I’m not going to impress someone. I want something simple, like a potato bag.” She laughs loud and pinch my arm, becoming serious. “Beautiful, you just need to impress me, fuck everybody else.” She cursed and put in my arms the two outfits which she chose for me. After long decisions I decided to the velvet dress. We went to my hotel and got ready together.

Now I’m in front of the club and I don’t want to get inside. I told Mina to go first, then I will come too. But now I don’t know what to do. First, I can say that he is inside with the girl from last night and secondly, he maybe doesn’t want me here. But, after all, what I can lose? I lose him and that’s enough for me to drink everything I get to forget him. Almost all our friends are here and they know that we are on a break or we were before he decided for both of us. Everybody is looking weird at me and I’m feeling so dumb being here. “Hello, beautiful.” Omar hugged me and my body feels so warm right now. He is also my best friend and we spend so much time together. “Hey. You look good.” I said and he rolled his eyes. “You outdo me.” “Thanks, but I’m feeling awful. Everyone is staring at me like I am a piece of garbage in a room full of roses.” I cried and he giggled. ”Maybe a piece of art in a room full of garbage. You are like that because that girl answered to you last night?” I looked shocked at him. “Mina told you, doesn’t she?” “Yup, she informed me. You should talk with Arón and if it’s over don’t get mad on yourself, you want everything good for that cabrón.” I nodded and walked with Omar to the bar.

“4 shots.” I yelled to the barman then I looked to my best friend. “What do you want, it’s on my account.”

After almost 6 shots, 1 bottle of champagne and now some wine I feeling very drunk. And, of course, he is fucking here with his new girlfriend. I wanted to go to him and slap his nice face and beat the girl beside him, but a solid guy stopped me. “I can see a beautiful woman in front of me. Please, let me get you a place at my table.” He smirks and he knows that I’m drunk as fuck. “Fuck you, muchaco.” I said and he catches my arm in his big hand. “Not that quick, princesa. You look very good and I watched you for the last two hours, you are alone here.” “And? I’m happy alone.” I wanted to go but he tightens his hand around me. I’m too dizzy to fight with this gorilla.

“I have a boyfriend.” I said loud and when I said it the music stops. Some people, including Arón are turning around to see me.  Our glances were intersected and I’m feeling like I’m going to collapse in any second. It’s too much for me. “If you have a boyfriend, then, where is he?” I still looking into Arón eyes and I can see regret and pain. “We are over, but I still love him.” Everybody is looking at us, waiting to continue my speech but I run away. I destroy his party, he was right. I’m not perfect for him. In the cab back to the hotel I cried so much and the driver told me that I should not pay for the ride.

In my room I sit on the floor crying, my phone called continue and the battery died. I think at a moment I fell asleep and I woke up when I heard some beating in my door. I got up slowly and the beating is getting strong. “I’m coming” I yelled desperate to make the person stop. “What?” I said when I open the door and I found my boyfriend in front of me. “Baby.” I love when he calls me like this. I moved myself to let him in and I closed the door. “I’m sorry for your launching party, it was so important to you.” “Shut up, (Y/N), I’m not here for your apologizes. I’m came to tell me again your last sentence.” I stayed a little bit to think but my head is feeling like is going to explode in any second. “I’m drunk, Arón. If you came here to make me feel bad then you succeed.” He caught my face in his hands and rubbed my cheeks with his fingers. Arón smiled softly and that’s made me blush.

“I love you.” I mumbled and he grinned. “I love you too, mi amor.” His ‘mi amor’ hits different. I smiled and I pinched my arm. “I’m not dreaming.” I said and he giggles. “Me neither. (Y/N), I’m sorry. You are everything for me, my love. I don’t know why I was so stupid to let you go. I love you too much.” He kisses softly my cheek and my forehead. “But that girl who answer to your phone. Isn’t she your new girlfriend?” “How? My cousin? Oh, she prefers girls, my love and this sounds very incestuous when I think at me and her together.” I giggled at his remark and I put my arm around his body in a tight hug. “And who the hell was that guy?” he is jealous right now. “A fuckboy, don’t be jealous, I don’t know him.” I kissed his miffed lips and he responds me fast. “Now you are coming back home?” I nodded and we fell on the bed.

He starts to sing for me his song.

“Sigo matándome, yeh

Sigo buscando las maneras de tenerte y no sufrirte

Sigo llamándola, eh”

What Arón doesn’t know is that he is my home. And everywhere I will go and he will be with me, I would be home.

[poorrichardslegacy]

Kacxa Week Day 5 - Conversation in the Black Lion

Icebreaker

SUMMARY: What happened between Keith and Acxa between the time they blew up the Pirate cruiser and they made their way to Acxa’s base camp?

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26892517

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Rating: Teen and Up Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Acxa/Keith (Voltron) Characters: Acxa (Voltron), Keith (Voltron), Keith’s Wolf (Voltron) Original Child Character(s), Original Galran Character(s), Keith's Family (Voltron) Additional Tags: Kacxa Week 2020, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family Dynamics

---------------

Keith checks the star charts as he maneuvers his way through the asteroid field. Acxa comes forward, looks over his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“Does this area look familiar, Acxa?”

“Yes, it does. I spent the better part of two decaphoebs here. Androse should be just ahead.”

From the rear of the shuttle Keith and Acxa’s sixteen-year old daughters step into the cockpit. “So, Mom, you’ve been here before?”

“Yup. Back when I fought with the Voltron Coalition. Your father and I were…reunited here after he was missing for three decaphoebs.”

“NO WAY! This is where you fought with the Voltron Coalition? Where did you meet up with Dad? On some super-secret mission where you swept him off his feet and you fell hopelessly in love with him.”

“Well…Not quite. We met up on a pirate ship…run by Zethrid and Ezor.”

“NO WAY! Aunt Zethrid and Aunt Ezor were pirates?”

Keith chuckles, his attention still fixed on the asteroid field. “So was your mother at one time.”

“NO WAY!”

Acxa gives Keith a light smack on the back of the head for that wisecrack. “I was a pirate for about two movements. Then I joined the Voltron Coalition. When Voltron returned after being missing for three decaphoebs, your father and the other Paladins managed to get themselves captured. I broke into the pirate ship and got them out.”

Keith loudly clears his throat. “Acxa…love…if you’re going to tell them the story, tell them the whole story of how creative we were when we got off that ship.”

“Creative? NO WAY! That’s dad-speak for blowing something up! Mom did you blow something up?”

“No…but your father certainly did. He had the Paladins blow up some Synthian Nitrate canisters in the cargo hold. He blew a large hole in the side of that ship. We were lucky we got out alive. In fact, that’s how I got my first and only ride in the Black Lion.”

“NO WAY! YOU RODE IN THE BLACK LION?”

Keith glances over his shoulder at his daughter. “Do you know any words other than ‘no way’?”

Mireya stands erect before her father, folds her hands in front of her, and speaks formally to Keith. “Why yes father. Thanks to mother I am endowed with a large vocabulary of extraneous and sizable words of dubious import that no one knows the meaning of that I use when the situation requires it. Indubitably, people are impressed by my syntax and the breadth and intellectual depths of my comments.”

Keith turns and stares deadpan at Mireya while Acxa and Cataleya do everything in their power to keep from splitting their sides with laughter.

“You got the sarcasm gene from your mother, didn’t you?”

Having made her point, Mireya resumes her usual demeanor. “Maybe. I got the stubborn gene from you. So, Dad, are you going to tell us about how you and Mom took your first ride together in the Black Lion?”

“You want a story? Here’s one for you…”

---------------

He grips her hand tightly as he and his fellow half-Galra jetpack at full speed away from the exploding pirate cruiser. Ahead, the Black Lion awaits them, its jaws open in anticipation of their arrival. Keith looks back at the woman who just risked everything to save the Paladins.

“I’ve got you. Don’t let go.”

She grips his hand tighter, an expression of determination on her face, and trust in her eyes. “I won’t.”

They land in the jaws of the Lion. They close, and after a moment the atmosphere within the jaws is restored and the hatch to the interior of the Lion opens. Still holding her hand, he looks back to her and smiles, a lock of his hair hanging down in front of his eyes.

“Welcome back to the Black Lion. Come on, we need to get to the cockpit.”

---------------

He leads her to the cockpit, where he checks in with the Paladins.

“Keith, where are we going?”

“I’m not entirely sure yet, Hunk.”

Acxa puts her hand on his shoulder. “I have a base camp about three vargas away from here.”

Lance overhears the conversation, guesses what the Black Paladin is thinking, and calls him on it. “Keith, can we trust her?”

Keith looks Acxa squarely in the eye. “We can trust her. She risked her life to help us.”

Acxa pulls up a star chart on her wrist device and shows it to Keith. “Set a course for Androse. There is a ruined base there. Just below it is a plain where the Lions can touch down. My base is in a cave in the hillside just off that plain.”

Seeing movement in the rear of the cockpit, Acxa spies Cosmo, and greets him.

“Hello…I don’t suppose you remember me?”

---------------

It has been just over three decaphoebs since she last saw Keith’s loyal Cosmic Dire Wolf. Following their last fight against one another, just before Lotor’s meltdown, Acxa critically wounded the Black Paladin. Establishing contact with a semi-conscious Keith following the battle and realizing what she had done, she pleaded with Cosmo to teleport her into the ship so she could tend to the rapidly fading Paladin’s wounds and save his life.

Suspicious of her motives at first, Cosmo watched Acxa carefully and saw that she truly had Keith’s best interests at heart. Cosmo asked her why she was so concerned with saving his life after she tried to kill him.

Her emotional reply was telling.

“I wasn’t trying to kill him. I never wanted this. I just…wanted to scare him away.”

Watching the care that Acxa took with Keith and listening to the remorse in her voice on the recording she left for him told the perceptive wolf one thing. Before taking Acxa back to her ship, he shared his thoughts. “There is more here than meets the eye, Corillian. Hopefully, some day you will see what I see. For your sake and for his.”

---------------

Cosmo saunters over to greet her. “I remember you, Corillian.”

Acxa scratches Cosmo behind his ears with both hands, an act that the giant wolf greatly appreciates.

Not wanting to overdo it, Acxa sits back on her haunches and admires him. “A Cosmic Dire Wolf. Before Braylar IV I had never seen one.”

Keith is grateful to have an icebreaker to get Acxa talking. Something that does not involve pirates or exploding cruisers. “Neither had I. I had a dog when I was a boy. I loved him. He was really attached to Dad. The dog fell into a funk when he died, and I was separated from him when I was taken to the orphanage.”

Acxa detects the sadness in Keith’s eyes and reaches out with her words to offer empathy. “I’m sorry about your father, Keith. I lost my parents as well. My father when I was 2, my mother when I was 9. I too spent time in an orphanage.”

“Sounds like we have a few things in common.”

Acxa gives him a wry smile. “Yes, it does.”

So much for the icebreaker. They fall into silence for a varga, as Keith focuses on piloting around the minefields laid by Zethrid and Ezor. Acxa gives him the information he needs to navigate through them then moves away so as not to crowd him.

She sits back and watches him, trying to understand the feelings she has for the Black Paladin. Feelings that drove her to sneak onto the pirate cruiser to free him. He was gone for three decaphoebs. She expected any feelings she had for him to have faded.

They have done anything but fade.

Sensing she is feeling blue, Cosmo comes over to comfort her. He speaks softly so only she can hear him. “Still haven’t figured it out, have you Corillian?”

“Obviously not, since I’m still trying to figure out what I haven’t figured out yet. I don’t suppose you could call me Acxa? That would go a long way to making me feel better. At least I’d know I had one person on my side.”

Cosmo curls up next to her and places his chin on her lap. “Don’t sell yourself short, Acxa. Keith over there…he is your biggest advocate. Cheer up. He really is glad to see you.””

Acxa scratches the wolf behind his ears. “Thank you. That’s good to know.”

Keith, blissfully oblivious to the dialog between Acxa and Cosmo, looks over his shoulder at the two of them. “I think he likes you. I always knew that wolf had good taste.”

---------------

Finally clear of the minefield, Keith puts Black on autopilot. “It’s going to take about a varga for us to get there. The power in the lions is low, or we’d be there by now.”

“It’s ok. I doubt those pirates are coming after us. You badly crippled them by blowing up that cargo hold.”

Keith notices something about her. “Your uniform. I didn’t notice it in all the excitement. That’s a Voltron Coalition uniform.”

“It is. I was part of Matt Holt’s rebel cell for two decaphoebs. I joined them after I split away from Zethrid and Ezor.

“Wow…so, you fought against the Galra Empire? With Matt Holt of all people?”

“Yes. We fought together for almost two decaphoebs. It was not an easy life. We were constantly on the run. At the end it was almost as if we were being hunted. As if somehow the Galra military and the factions knew where to find us.”

“Interesting. How did you wind up with Matt Holt? I seem to recall the first time you two met he wanted to throttle you for kidnapping his father.”1

“After I left Zethrid and Ezor, I put feelers out that I was interested in joining the Coalition. After a few phoebs with no response, Matt suddenly showed up. He did not trust me at first. I had to prove myself on my first mission. I guess I did that. He let me stay on.”

“So, I hate to bring up bad memories, but why did you leave Zethrid and Ezor?”

Acxa stares at the floor, silent for more than a few ticks. “I had my reasons.”

Before she can go any further into her explanation, they come upon a dense asteroid field. She perks up and stands behind Keith to get a good head-on view of the navigational screen.

“We’re close to my base. Pull up the star chart and I’ll guide you in.”

The Lions approach the ruined base on Androse. The buildings have the look of being abandoned for decaphoebs. Several of them have collapsed from neglect or the impact of meteors.

“At one time this was a forward listening post for the Empire. When they conquered this sector, they didn’t need it anymore and they abandoned it.”

She points to a flat plain at the foot of the hill on which the base rests. “Set down over there.”

---------------

Acxa greets the Paladins and the rest of Keith’s entourage once they are safely on the ground. Everyone seems standoffish, which is what she expected. Trust is something that take time to develop. Still, she cannot help but notice the critical in not outwardly hostile eye Keith’s mother uses to look her over. Acxa wonders if it will ever be possible to win Krolia’s trust.

Keith notices Krolia’s hard stares at Acxa and he cannot help but see that Acxa is bothered by it. He approaches her and whispers in her ear. “Don’t let Krolia’s stare get to you. She’ll come around.”

After showing the Paladins around the area Acxa turns to Keith, the one person in the whole group she knows trusts her. “It gets cold here on Androse at night. I have some firewood we can use to start a fire. We’ll need to gather more to make one big enough to keep all of us warm.”

“I can help with that. I just need to check the Lions first. Just tell me where it is, and I’ll bring it when I come back.” Getting directions to the firewood source, Hunk excuses himself to check on the Lions.

Keith gently takes her arm and looks her in the eye. “You’ve done so much for us today. Take a break. I’ll start the fire; Hunk and the others will bring the wood in to keep it going.”

Acxa gives Keith a shy smile. “Thank you.

---------------

“That sounds cool, Dad. So, what did you guys talk about at the campfire on Androse?”

Before Keith can answer, a notification pops up on the star chart. “We’re getting close to Braylar IV. About a varga out.” He looks to Acxa and smiles, then he turns to his daughters. “The story about what your mother and I talked about during and immediately after that campfire is one we’re happy to share, but on another day. It’s too long to tell with the time we have left in this trip.”

“Ok, I guess we can cut you some slack this time. But you’re not getting out of it. No way! Deal?”

Seeing the mischievous look in Mireya’s eyes, Keith can only chuckle. “Deal.”

Acxa studies the star chart carefully as Keith makes his approach to Braylar IV. “I wonder what Ashira and Soran have been up to all these years. And Cosmo. I wonder what Mr. Sassypants has been up to since he left to go home to rejoin the Sonai. Well, I guess we’re about to find out. Everyone, get ready to strap in. It’s time to pay a visit to some old family friends.”

1. Rise of the Black Paladin, Chapter 4, Blood Duel

[secret-engima]

Axis, Shield of Nox Izunia, meets Axis, traitor Kingsglaive. Just, for once, it's not Nox/Noctis tripping across dimensions, it's Axis. But it's an Axis who's barely accepted that he doesn't want his idiot LC to disappear from his life entirely, never even to brush shadows, who's barely ADMITTED he has a LC. And then, meeting his canon counterpart, bitter, traitor. N!Axis: Where's Nox? MUST FIND PERSONAL IDIOT! C!Axis: Nyx is over there, but he's more of Libertus' personal idiot.

Oh.

Oh boy.

Ohhhhhh boy.

Angsttttttt. Prepare for angst and lots of rage and insults coming your way because Axis has a temper and this turned into a ficlet.

So this is non-canon, but would hypothetically take place pre-Axis learning Ardyn is an LC in the Nox verse and just a year or so before the Kingsglaive movie in Canon.

-It’s a very short meeting. No more than a day or so. Of course all the glaives are very weirded out when Axis accidentally cuts himself on a rock and the Solheim ruin they’re passing through glows at the touch of his blood before spitting out a very confused double dressed in Hunter garb rather than glaive garb. But after some shouting and wary staring, both sides conclude the other aren’t demons trying to steal any souls.

-That’s when Tredd notices that the new Axis is not just dressed in Hunter Garb he’s ... younger. Years younger. This Axis looks just on the border between teen and adult. Only a year or so out from the Burning. They ask and N!Axis confirms their suspicions, then looks around in agitation, as if expecting to find someone. They assume he’s looking for his Tredd and Luche. But some searching reveals no one but N!Axis and he ends up going with them through the ruins toward their outpost. Since he had no idea how to get back and they couldn’t just let him wander off and get hurt.

-N!Axis meets C!Axis and feels ... unease. There’s something about his counterpart he doesn’t like, something dark and bitter. And yes, N!Axis knows he’s bitter about a lot of things but this feels different. This feels ... poisonous.

-He notices with dread that C!Tredd and C!Luche feel the same way too.

-That evening in the outpost, the Glaives get to talking over (smuggled) drinks while N!Axis lurks and frets internally (Nox was in those ruins when he got pulled, had Nox come too? Or was he out there all alone, looking for Axis and getting into trouble without him? Did N!Axis really care? (Yes, yes he does, so badly it hurts and he refuses to think why) and then N!Axis tunes back into the chatter when Crowe angrily tells Tredd to “knock it off”. “It” being some astonishingly hateful diatribe against Insomnia and Insomnia nobles. It’s not slander against the royal family, not treason by the letter of the law, but ... the intent is there. The intent is there and N!Axis can see agreement in his counterpart’s eyes, burning and bitter and deadly as a snake and something inside him goes very, very cold.

-Nyx (who is male in this world, weird) tries to defuse the situation, but Tredd is drunk and on a roll now and N!Axis knows only Luche or C!Axis could stop him but they- won’t. They AREN’T. Tredd out and blurts something to the order of how “They” (possibly meaning Insomnia nobility in general but everyone knows he means the royal family) don’t have any clue what it’s like out here, that none of them can fight worth anything, none born of their blood have ever had a hard day in their lives-

-And N!Axis thinks of Nox. Of Nox who has so many scars. Of Nox who can’t remember when to eat or how to take care of himself. Of Nox who watches the world with inhumanly old, broken eyes sometimes that make him seem a hundred thousand years older than he really is. Of Nox who fights, who wades into Imperial Bases, alone save for when Axis finds him and tags along. Of Nox who has already lost so much (a blindspot the shape of a man, his innocence, his ability to care for himself, so many hints Axis tries not to notice but can’t help seeing anyway). Of Nox with a Niflheim Chancellor for an uncle who is just as much of a broken human disaster for all he doesn’t have the magic burning under his skin like his nephew.

-Of Nox who’s magic burns him. Carves him up so that all that’s left some days is a shell working on instinct, staring out at the world like it is a stranger while thunder and wrath and grief as deep as Leviathan’s tides press against mortal skin, trying to shatter him from the inside out and break free into the open air. Axis has seen it, the suffering that comes with magic, and while the Glaives hold only a portion, only enough to use without hurting, Nox is an LC of blood and soul and Axis has seen the toll that takes. The way he looks like some days he’s one step away from burning up and turning to dust in the wind unless he does something to bleed it off and out even when so many spells in a row leave him shaking from pain-.

-N!Axis is in the crowd of glaives, knuckles stained with blood and Tredd gaping at him from the floor before N!Axis is even aware of leaving his corner, “You take that back,” he growls and all the glaive take a collective step back because they have never heard Axis use that tone at a fellow Galahdian, a fellow Glaive. Let alone directed at Tredd. N!Axis breathes and can feel his blood pounding in his veins, a faint ringing in his ears from trying to suppress the red in his vision. Maybe it’s his Amicitia blood acting up, loyalty imprinted into his bones after generations of magic and oaths. Maybe he’s just stressed from being in this parallel world.

-Secretly he knows it’s neither. It’s all him. It’s all Axis Arra, the refugee and Hunter who stumbled across a Lucis Caelum teen outside a ruined Nif base and somehow can’t seem to let go of him not matter how much he tries not to be attached in the first place.

-In the astonished silence that follows his words, N!Axis bares his teeth, voice a near-Coeurl snarl that sends shivers down more than one spine (the wrath of an Arra is a rare thing, the wrath of an Arra given sound is an even rarer, more dangerous one), “You. Take. That. Back.” A breath, a flex of the fist with Tredd’s blood on it (he’s broken Tredd’s nose, he’s broken the nose of one of his oldest friends for Nox and he doesn’t regret it), “How dare you. How dare you pretend to know what it’s like. How dare you wish our fate on anyone, let alone the Chief who took you in. Maybe our conditions could be better, and maybe he doesn’t do enough but at least he tries. You hold his magic in your skin and you think that gives you the right to curse his entire Clan and say none of them ever suffered?”

-Tredd bristles on the floor, but lying there holding his broken nose he seems too afraid to speak up. C!Axis breaks the silence, stepping forward and moving to rest a hand on N!Axis’s shoulder, “All he means is-.”

-N!Axis swats the hand aside, looks into his counterparts eyes and sees the same venom, the same ignorance. And he knows- he knows in a heartbeat that Nox does not exist in this world. That he died before C!Axis could meet him, could know him, could learn because otherwise this counterpart would never agree with the poison coming out of Tredd’s mouth. “I know what he means,” snarls N!Axis, “and I know he’s full of pyre-ash. If you had any idea what it’s like to have been born with their full weight of magic, the full touch of the Draconian’s Blessing rather than the pittance you think makes you impressive-.”

-Tredd sits up, but still doesn’t dare stand, “What and you do?”

-N!Axis growls down at him, wordless and warning and Tredd stills in shock.

-Nyx and Libertus intervene, push their way between and Nyx starts nudging N!Axis away, “Ignore Tredd, he’s just drunk and trying to start something. We all need to take a minute and cool our heads, yeah?” N!Axis lets Nyx nudge him a few steps away, breathes past his rage and tries to let it go-.

-“Someday,” Tredd says as Luche finally helps him up, “someday you’re gonna think just like me. You might think he’s kind and just trying his best now, but give it a few years and you’ll know that he doesn’t care beyond making sure we’re good little soldiers.”

-“Tredd!” several glaives snap in horror, because now he’d definitely gone too far.

-N!Axis looks past Nyx’s arm to lock eyes with Tredd, his rage suddenly going from burning to freezing as something in his mind replaces King Regis for Nox in the “he” of Tredd’s words. He pushes Nyx’s arm very slowly down so that it isn’t in the way, looks Tredd, then Axis, then Luche all straight in their eyes before refocusing on Tredd-

-And spitting on the ground at his feet, “Storm-Father as my witness,” N!Axis intones with far more calm than he actually feels, “I’ll gut myself with my mother’s blades and feed my entrails to the Voretooths before I become a filthy little Pink-Tongue like you.”

-Tredd roars and lunges, because this time it’s N!Axis who has pushed too far, said too much, and while all the glaive freeze in astonished horror that any version of Axis would call his best friend a Pink-Tongue (not referring to the color of the mouth, but the colors of Galahd, of poison and betrayal. Liar, Axis has called him, Poisoner and Betrayer of Clans, because a tongue dyed in poison is a single step away from hands drenched in the colors of Kinslayers), N!Axis lunges to meet Tredd halfway. Tredd is bigger, more experienced, he’s been a glaive for years now. N!Axis can feel his lip split and his cheek get cut open by the force of the hits. But N!Axis has been traveling with Nox for months, fighting Nifs and keeping up with a wayward LC despite having no magic of his own. He fights hard and dirty and doesn’t flinch as he brings his knee up into Tredd’s groin, rides the screeching Glaive down as he falls and begins beating the redhead’s skull against the ground before he’s forced off and winded by Tredd’s brutal kick.

-The Glaives snap out of their shock and fall on the two en masse, pulling them apart, shouting and struggling to stop the two from going at each other’s throats and N!Axis thinks his own voice might be in the clamor, screaming at Tredd and Luche and his own counterpart, calling them Pink-Tongues and White-Wearers. Traitors to their Chief, blind to what they’ve been given and what that gift must cost.

-In the end, N!Axis has to be dragged to the far side of the outpost and kept under guard by Nyx and Libertus for the rest of the night, far away from the three he has just given full grounds to challenge him to a death match.

-He sits and broods the entire night, listening to the daemons scream far past the lights and contemplates his hurts (he refused to take the potion Libertus had stiffly offered, he picked that fight and they were soldiers, they would need it more than he did).

-He contemplates the fact that he just called the counterparts of himself and his two best friends the worst kinds of traitors.

-He ponders over the fact that he doesn’t regret a single word of it.

-The next morning, he’s woken from his doze by an alert going up from the watch. Someone is approaching the Outpost. A civilian kid by the look of it. He hears hubbub and chatter, confusion and disbelief and then suddenly Nox is there, right in front of him in all his tiny, scraggly glory, a gaggle of Glaives following behind and staring in confusion as he smiles at N!Axis, “Hey, Axis,” he says easily, as if they just ran into each other in the wilds like normal and aren’t in another dimension.

-He stares, sighs, stands up and he sees Nox eyes sharpen on his injuries, “What are you even doing here, idiot?” N!Axis grumbles because seriously, how.

-Nox is still staring at his injuries as he answers, “Called in a favor from a friend. We got an hour to get back, so we should start walking.” He pulls a potion out of his pocket and shoves it at N!Axis with a scowl, who would laugh at the hypocrisy of Nox fretting over injuries when he’s the one always halfway dead from fighting things too big for him to handle alone. Instead he takes it and uses it, feels his lip heal about halfway before stopping, it’s been hours since the injury was inflicted after all, potions lose potency the older the injury is. Nox’s eyes glitter red for a fraction of a second and then go back to blue as he starts leading N!Axis out of the base. The Glaives trail behind, whispering over the kid and a few calling out goodbyes to N!Axis even though he’s done the opposite of making friends.

-N!Axis hears angry footsteps behind him and a furious curse that is probably supposed to be his name and starts to turn, braced for a last-minute punch from the counterpart of Tredd.

-Instead Nox is suddenly there and the air is seething with magic, heavy like storm clouds and churning like waves. C!Tredd and all the other Glaives freeze at the sight of a ghostly blue-white armiger, rotating slowly in the air, all blades pointed directly at Tredd’s heart. “Are we going to have a problem?” Nox asks with a false sort of serenity, his voice rumbling with the faintest undertones of Other. Other voices, older voices, cold and cruel ones that Axis has only heard bleed into Nox’s voice once before.

-N!Axis rests a hand on Nox’s arm, “It’s fine. Let’s just go.” Nox accepts the dismissal, lets his armiger fade as he possessively grips N!Axis’s hand and resumes leading the way. A glance over his shoulder and N!Axis meets the eyes of his counterpart and his counterpart’s two best friends one last time.

-Mine, he knows his eyes say, and I will fight to keep it that way.

-Traitor, their eyes say back without words, bootlicker. Naive.

-N!Axis turns his head and resumes looking forward. He tries not to feel the yawning chasm between himself and the counterparts, uncrossable and deadly, that he leaves behind. They’re wrong. Wrong to think that, wrong to say and agree to what was said last night and Axis will not be moved from that stance. Perhaps if he’d never met Nox, their words would have seemed like the truth. Perhaps if he’d never seen Nox and all the things both great and terrible and eerie his magic could do and in turn did to its wielder, he would have believed their poison. But Nox is here, having crossed dimensions to find him and bring him home, Nox is here and ready to fight an entire outpost of Kingsglaive if they threaten Axis.

-And Axis knows he will not regret his own choice. His own opinion. His own loyalty.

-Nox leads them back to the ruins, there’s a flicker of magic like thunder and ozone, and when Axis opens his eyes, they’re back in their world where they belong.

-A few days later, Axis meets up with the others- with his glaives, and doesn’t breathe a word about what he saw and said. He just watches his Tredd and Luche and feels something tight in his chest unwind in relief when he sees no poison in their eyes or on their lips.

-Words echo in his memory, Someday ... someday you’re gonna think just like me. You might think he’s kind and just trying his best now, but give it a few years and you’ll know that he doesn’t care beyond making sure we’re good little soldiers.

-Leaning on the shoulder of his Tredd and listening to them laugh over something that happened in their training, Axis snorts. Maybe when the Rock of Ravatogh freezes over. But until then? He might not like King Regis that much, not when Axis’s father was the King’s Shield, but the way he saw it, Nox had to get his idiotic levels of compassion from somewhere and ... well.

-He hadn’t gotten it from his Izunia blood. That was certain.