#i gotta be up in uhhhhhhhh

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Dannys class gets into a heated debate over how ghosts are formed and so Mr. William Lancer, wanting the class to get back on topic, decided to ask Danny Fenton. “Maybe Mr.Fenton could shed some light on this for us?” Of course the whole class turns to face him. He doesnt shrink from the attention anymore, far to tired. Before he can respond Dash blurts out a taunt “Fentianas parents hunt ghosts, what could he possibly know about making one!” A little chuckle of a laugh from Danny chills the whole class. “Oh i know plenty about how a ghosts is formed Dash. Its when someone dies but they still have a stronge emotional bond with the living world.” And in a softer voice he adds “that or theirs enough ectoplasm around.” His voice isnt taunting. Its empty but they can all almost feel how tired the words make him. And that last bit. How could he know. He sounds so sure of it. Not a hint of doubt. How does he know. That bit about the ectoplasm. Just how did the Fentons get the ghosts they studied. They are ghost hunters but not very good ones, that much was clear. Are they… are they making them?

No one dares to ask. What if their next. “Well there you have it class… Now back to the topic we had been previously discussing!” Mr. WILLIAM Lancer tries to forget what he just heard. He isnt paid nearly enough for that. He just wants to teach English. The students are also eager to forget the implications of Fentons words welcome the change in subject.

Its probably the most interactive and engaging he has ever had a class.

[ziracona]

Playing OWB, I always knock out lobotomites because they're victims, instead of kill them. Which sucks, because I only have boxing tape on me. It ain't easy :'-) but I've had several weird what must be glitch encounters with ones that are marked hostile but quit attacking now, and my experiences got me thinking about story stuff in OWB, so a little piece from the POV of a lobotomite experiencing my Courier 6. Which is a very interesting and fragmented pov to write, but I liked doing something very different.

-

-

I see something leaving the big house.

They come one by one usually, the ones not like us. They hurt us. Always.

Everything here hurts.

So, we kill them. We stop them.

One of us makes a sound in his throat, nods towards the shape. We’re all alert with the sound, turn to look. Take out weapons.

I draw my gun. My fingers know the trigger. Know the barrel like it’s another finger. I aim at the shape. It walks towards us and pauses at the top of the stairs, sees us see it. Takes a step back.

Good. Maybe an easy fight for us then.

The man who pointed the figure out charges, drawing his spear. Another of us runs with him, saturnite fist ready. I stay back behind, and shoot.

I hit it. I see my bullet clip the shoulder. The thing cries out and falls back a step. Somehow, not hurt bad. Armor, I guess. We don’t have it. I have the dress they give at a hospital. I don’t remember what I had before.

It makes me angry, so I walk closer, keep shooting.

My companions reach it, and I see them fighting. I see the figure has a gun on their hip, a spear at their back. But, they don’t draw the gun. No bullets maybe? They hit, bare fists. Pound, pound, pound. Crack, crack, crack.

Cuts open up on them, along their face and body, their back, their hands. They jam something into their side and fall back a step, and I see cuts close like magic. They’re afraid though. Eyes big. Surely, just fists against us, we must win.

But we don’t. It fights fast, hard, and above all, with stamina. It won’t go down. Heals itself again and again somehow, and hits and hits until the leader goes down. I feel a pang of fear. The second goes down a few seconds later, a fast upper-cut from this things. Then it turns to me.

I feel real fear. But. Surely. I must win, against this? A human. Wrapped fists. Nothing else.

It meets my eyes, and I see determination. It rushes me.

Panic. I fire, I fire, I fire. I know I hit it. A bullet even grazes its head. But then it’s on me, and a fist finds my face.

Pain. Hurts, bad. I lose strength from it. I keep trying to shoot, and I hit it, even so close, but it hits me too. Crack, Crack, Crack.

I feel myself breaking down. It gets me in the head, and I’m gone.

I think ‘I have died?’

Fear.

Then I’m gone.

Only. I’m…not?

I…wake up.

Not sure when. …Later. It’s gone now.

I sit up, head aches, confused. Why? Must have thought I was dead, I guess. But, I reach for my gun. It’s gone. Stolen. But everything else is here. My cloth I wear, my head strap I can’t get off, the lighter I picked up. And…an apple?

Confused more, I feel it in the gown pocket, take it out.

Fresh. Fresh apple. Smells…good? I take a bite, because I am hungry. It tastes good too.

Amazing. Usually all I eat is meat from something killed, or maybe old spoils found. Stale chip, can of beans, or if very lucky, these cakes of falling apart breads with sugars in tiny boxes. This is fresh, like it’s not old at all. Pretty, bright red.

I eat it all. Around me, I see the other two get up too. Alive. One takes out a pear. Confused too. I think about fighting him for the pear, but I haven’t finished my apple, and he eats the pear by the time I do. The other has an apple too. We eat. We move on.

-

I see the human again, same day maybe. Later. Far away from the big dome now. It’s leaving one of the smaller houses, full of horrible things. I see it from a distance and don’t know it’s the same one. Just hear fighting. I’m with different members of the group, and they run off. I follow. We see the figure fighting off the snakedogs. It has a big fist, like a saturnite fist, but bigger. It’s punching off their heads. I don’t recognize it. Just the saturnite fist weapon, and that it isn’t one of us. I draw my gun, and start shooting. The other two rush in, hoping to get to it while some of the snakedogs are up, so it will be more overwhelmed.

It sees us coming. I watch its head snap up. See panic through the visor I can’t take off. It hurries to turn, punch a snakedog. The head comes off. Last one. Turns to face the others of my group as they reach it, and I see it let go of the fist. Drop the big, powerful thing on the ground, and swing an empty fist at the one of us with a flaming sword.

Then I recognize it. I think ‘So strange. Lost its good weapon?’ and I remember. I remember, from this morning, and I see it closer and see it has the same long blue coat on, red hat.

I am not mad by the armor this time. I am confused. Curious. Still nervous too. Have to kill it before it kills us. I shoot, watching, to see how it heals. See if it can walk off bullets more. See if it keeps hitting.

It does. Keeps taking out little white…things. Like scissors. Some of me thinks ‘that’s a heal’ but what that means? I don’t know. It is a heal though. Makes flaming knife cuts go away. Good for it, because it takes punishment I couldn’t believe. Hits back with little wrapped fists. Crack, crack, crack. Hit, hit, hit. I hear, I see. I watch my people go down.

I hesitate as it turns, bloody, and rushes me again, breathing hard. I remember to keep firing. It knocks the gun out of my hand and I look down in surprise. Blink. It hits me. I hit back. Panic now. Remember it will kill me. Hit, hit, hit, but it hits harder. I go out.

I think, ‘I died.’

But, I wake up. Again. Before me, the other two are already up. Starting to stand, and looking for weapons gone now. I look for my new gun, sad. Know the thing took it again. It did. But there’s an apple. Fresh. My pocket, again. Pink apple this time. I hold it and smell it. Think ‘where it gets the apples?’ And eat it.

So good. Even better than red apple.

The others have things too. The knife companion takes out a drink. Fights a while before biting off the cap, and drinks it. I am very jealous. Almost jump him for it. Too busy thinking. Other has apple too.

I think hard.

Wonder.

-

I see it again, going to find a new gun. On my way out, I hear guns, and I follow, careful. Haven’t got new gun for me yet. Very hard like that to stay alive.

But, there it is. Blue coat, bright red hat. Tall. I see it shooting snake dogs again. Shooting the skeletons in the suits that help us sometimes. A dog with robot legs jumps it, and it punches that one. Interesting. I am curious.

Once it leaves, I sneak up, look at the dog.

No apples…

I keep following.

I see some of us attack it soon. Another group. I think about helping, but, I want apples. I don’t want to get hit again, though. So, this is my idea.

It hits them, like it hit me. It gets hurt, bad, doing it. But keeps healing. Keeps hitting. And, it wins.

After, it breathes hard. I hear it talking to itself. Sounds like a woman, maybe. Not close enough to hear it well. It spotted me once, so I’m careful now. Still no new gun, you know? Got to be careful.

I sneak little closer though. Watch.

It puts its big saturnite but bigger fist back on, wipes blood off forehead. Walks over to the unconscious bodies it fought, and I see it take their guns, their spears. Leaves bugglegum, leaves a drink, leaves a pear. An apple.

After trading food for gun or knife, it goes on. Once it’s gone on enough, I sneak over. I pick up the stuff it left. I take the gum and put it in my gown pocket. I eat the pear. I open the drink and it hurts my teeth, but it’s worth it. So good! A part of me tastes it, and I want to..cry?

Confused, I stop walking. Look down at it. Drink a little more.

I think ‘sarsaparilla,’ but, I don’t know what sarsaparilla is. Something in me very desperate asks me to know, but I don’t remember. It’s a brown word, and a sweet word. Spicy. A tree? I try, but I know I am wrong. I sit, hold the drink. Drink it slow between two rocks, hidden safe in a shadow. Hold sarsaparilla. There is a word on the bottle. Can’t read it, but I trace it with finger. Think. Girl on the bottle—picture. I almost remember something, but…

It hurts too much. Can’t. Put head in hands, breathe. Pain goes away. I keep drinking. In head, I see a picture of a tree that isn’t there. I sit beneath it in my head. I drink this in my head too, but a different one. It’s a good feeling, but, sad.

I don’t understand why.

Tree smells. Like…sarsaparilla? Brain says ‘pine.’ Not sarsaparilla. But I can’t remember ‘pine.’ Good word. Green word.

I get up.

I keep the apple. I hold it in pocket, and take out to smell. But don’t eat. Saving it. Save the bottle too, to smell. Smells like sarsaparilla and thinking about green pine words.

I chew the gun thoughtful, and try to find blue coat again.

I find her pretty slow this time. So fast! Unbelievable. All the way across the empty, she is sneaking. I run into her—almost for real. See her slide against a wall and hold breath when I almost step on her. I don’t want punched unconscious again. Too much hurt, even for apple. Besides. I have apple. If she sees it, what if she doesn’t leave new one too? So I pretend not to see. Keep walking.

Mutter, like she did alone.

She buys it.

Very proud, I walk around a ways, then sneak back.

Hah!

Worked. Very, very well. She is sneaking off towards the big robots. NO clue I sneak after!

Hmmm…Big robots…

I am nervous. Those will shoot me. I got new gun off a box, but not great gun. Big robots sometimes shoot missiles. Besides, she won’t leave apple on big robots, so nothing to get.

Still, I follow. Too interested now.

I see her checking out already dead robot, poking at stuff. Hm. Closer, I see her wipe forehead, and past bangs, she has head marks almost like mine. But, not one of us… We would be able to tell. Can always tell.  And, she doesn’t act like…? Must be wrong?

Hm.

Some of us hear her poking around. I pull back, and watch her fight in fascination. Some of the big robots hear the commotion as she hits my people off her, and they come running too. Uh-oh, I think, because they will shoot right through us. To surprise, I see her panic too. She looks ‘uh-oh’ at them, and shoves one of us off her. She snags gun off her shoulder, big, long rifle, and shoots a robot. It falls, but two more come. I see one of us take bullets from it and stumble back. She sees too, runs towards the shot man, and moves between him and robot. I see her get shot. She takes it like she does, and shoots the robot twice. It falls. One left. But she pauses, to look back at the man. He’s alive. Confused. And hitting her with his saturnite fist. She grimaces, falls forward, misses a shot at robot, and ignores him. Shoots robot. All three of my kind attacking her are still up, and one shoots her, knocks off aim.

Uh-oh, I think, more worry in the uh-oh. She is not doing as well.

Still, she ignores the man shooting her. Takes shot at robot, using free hand to block a hit from the spear the last member of their group has. Robot goes down this time.

Bloody and relieved, she turns, frantically starts hitting them. Amazed, I watch. She takes down all three.

Bloody, barely able to stand, she huffs. Grabs a chunk of broken concrete, and slides to ground against it. Sits there, tilts head back.

“This is the worst,” she says mournful.

Tired, she raises her wrist. What I thought was another, broken saturnite fist is on her left arm. She raises it. Taps it. I hear sound come out of it. Songing.

I remember…this sound.

Been…I think a long time.

Woman’s voice, but not her, plays from the arm. Says words my ears don’t know anymore. But, says not many words. I like that. Same words keep being said. ‘Night.’ ‘Your.’ ‘We.’ ‘Where.’ ‘When.’ ‘Begin.’

I don’t remember ‘night.’ Don’t remember ‘begin.’ Don’t remember…’when, where.’ I remember ‘we.’ We is…me, plus someone else. Me and someone.

I am proud; I remember.

I never remember.

But I know ‘We.’

She has no we though, unless it is the woman with song in her wrist. Many of us, just one of her.

I listen to the song too. She sings with it, quiet, just a few words. Just the last words, holding the last one long, much longer than the song. She turns off the thing on her wrist, but holds the song word. Then sighs, lets it go.

Stands alone, looks at the bodies.

Odd expression on her face. I wonder with a strange chest feeling, from where I hide in shadows, if she will get angry and crush them under her feet.

She does not.

Takes their weapons, slower than before, wincing as she stoops. Leaves a drink, leaves a cake box, leaves an apple.

-

I follow her for the next two days.

Sometimes, I lose her. She will go in a building, and I will not do that. Too many monsters. She maybe can be shot 400 times. I die if shot 400 times. I do not want a plant to eat me. I do not want to be explosion’d by robot.

Sometimes, she is just so fast, I lose her.

But, she is very loud. Thankful for that. Never lose her for too long.

I eat a lot of delicious apples.

Always keep one on me, too, to look at. To smell.

If I find the drink that smells like green word ‘pine’ and the brown word thought ‘sarsaparilla,’ I drink it, and keep the bottle to smell, replace the last with it.

She does the same thing, always. Will kill snakedogs. Kill robots, kill suits with skeletons, kill scorpions, kill bugs. Kills robot dog if scared. Never kills us.

Don’t know why. Won’t, though. Always takes weapons, always knocks out with wrapped fists, always leaves a little gift.

I don’t know if the gift is trade, or maybe, I think, ‘sorry’? Can’t remember what it means, but it makes sense. It thinks in my head like ‘backing off’ a little maybe. It seems right?

I don’t know for sure. I keep following. Sometimes, if she thinks she is alone, she turns on the song. It is not always that song, but that song she hears the most. It’s the best, because the others are too fast with too much words. That one is slow, very few words, very short, and a word I know. I like to hear it.

A couple times, she spots me, and I have to run away. She doesn’t chase if I do, though, so no more punching. Good, because head still hurts a little from before. Girl punches hard…

Day two, late, she sees me and I run and she calls out. I keep running till I’m far, and check to see if she is watching. She is. Standing still, staring at me. I pause. She crouches, puts out her hands, palms to me. No weapon. I know her fists are weapons though. Very painful.

I watch still, interested. Look back. She calls again, soft. Motions towards herself.

I think she is trying to lure me back.

Too smart, I don’t do that. I keep running, hide.

Sneak back after a few minutes, from a side. Still, she is watching where I went, head tilted.

Strange look on her face. Sad and not sad at same time.

I think about that.

-

Third day.

I see her fight many things.

Robot scorpions (10), many of us (many), big robots (4), different kind of big robot (2), skeleton suits (forgot to count), green plant monster (2, very bad), snakedog (18 maybe).

Good day for me. Lots of food. Found a glowing drink. Maybe saw god after drinking it. Was funny again for a minute too.

Felt very happy.

I like following her. Very interesting to do. Different. I forgot about different. Different is not very safe, but is other things. Like full of food.

She is doing better. Avoids places with big robots mostly now. Sneaks more. Walks on the big pipes a lot, which makes harder to follow her because if I do, she sees me and have to hide. Still, I am better at following now too. Getting pretty skilled.

And then, she gets too close to us.

I don’t realize, because I watch her, not where she goes. But we get close to the cave. To home cave.

I don’t realize, until one of us runs past and sees me, and calls to me a sound I know. ‘Again!’ A call to fight. One of the words we remember.

I stand up automatic at the sound, then blink, see more and more of us. Not just from by me, from past too. Maybe eleven, twelve? So many. She was looking at a box, but hears us coming. Looks up and sees. Tries to run.

She can’t get past. Too many come in from the left side of the big rocks now, and there is nowhere up on the rocks to go. She doesn’t see how many are on my side yet. Starts trying to fight. We push her into a corner. I don’t realize I’ve followed until I’m at the edge of the group, watching up close as she punches one of us unconscious like before.

I am waiting for her to win and waiting for her to die. Different parts of memory both sure of outcome.

I feel nothing.

Just far far away.

Then I am shoved forward. I am close to her, watching. Right on her.

She is scared. Hits me. I fall back, surprised. Two jump her from behind with knives.

I see her heal herself, but too many of us from too many angles at once. We are winning for once.

She tries to push through and run.

Almost makes it, but one of us catches her on fire. Loses sight in the fire, loses footing. Falls. Snaps an ankle when she hits rock below. We go after her like a wave.

I think ‘she is going to die now,’ without anything beyond thought. Then I think ‘I can take all the apples off her if she dies.’

But. I don’t want them that way.

I am sure they will not taste so good if I take them off her pockets.

I am suddenly very frustrated.

If they kill her, the apples won’t be the same at all.

I push forward, push past.

They don’t fight me. We are all fighting her.

I see her struggling. Made it up to one foot. I see the gun at her hip. I see the bigger than a saturnite fist on her belt. I see the spear on her back. Still, she hits with fists. She got some of us, unconscious. But we are still five, and she is trying to heal as I get close.  Jams the little white thing into her side as I reach her. One of the others hits her so hard, he knocks it out of her side, and she cries out. Not a sound like the song. I realize she is about to go down.

She sees me.

I hit her.

She falls, covered in blood from guns and knives and bruises from fists.

I go down on top of her.

The others make sounds. Want to see what she has too. I growl at them and snap, and they back off. They are all hurt from her punches, but she only hit me once. I have my gun.

I look back down at her as they back away, lose their interest.

I try to remember death and unconscious, the way to tell. Heart tells. Heartbeat.

I pick her up from shoulders, put my ear to chest, listen. There is a sound. Brain doesn’t think heartbeat sound, but what other sound in chest is there? Doesn’t matter, I think, because sound is alive. Dead is quiet.

That seems sure to me, so, relieved, I pick up the blue coat woman, and put her over a shoulder.

We are by my home, so I turn. The others ignore me now. I claimed the body, it’s mine. We bring meat home. We bring findings. We bring anything we want.

I pass into the cave, past the graves we put outside, past some of the things we keep. Past a few of the others inside, with their own beds and memories, and special things like my apple and my bottle, but not as good.

Keep walking, far in. Find my little bed. Raised bed, like a table, but soft. I think it was for hospital once, like my cloth I wear. I tap the dolls I hung from the post by the bed. It’s nice to be home.

Set her body on the bed table. Put ear to the chest again to be sure, but it makes its not quite heartbeat sound.

Good, I think, You are alive.

That’s alright then. She will get back up and leave apples. We keep going like before. All will be good.

I felt nervous, but now I feel okay.

Still, after a few minutes, she is still quiet. I listen several times. Chest sound is going. The blood from cuts stopped, but she is not waking up fast.

With time, I get curious. Poke around a little. Don’t go through pockets, because I don’t want to know how many apples. But I remember the marks I saw once, and I push back her hair.

I am right. There are cuts around her head too. I feel for my own. Mine still hurt. She has them, like all of us, and I am excited, then confused. If…she is one of us, why can’t we tell? Why we kill her? Why she fights us? I’m not remembering. We can just tell, with each other, if they are us. She is not. Not sure how I know. But I don’t know why now.

She has our marks though, I think, confused again. Marks, but not us. Strange.

Maybe she is broken.

I can’t remember where we got marks. I try, and shudder. My head says ‘don’t look.’ It scares me. Like the answer will kill me if I look behind the corner to see it. I quit looking.

Instead, I trace the marks on her head.

She makes a sound of pain, and scrunches her face. Her eyes open. She blinks, squints, finds me above her. I tilt my head, forget to be scared of punches. Relieved it didn’t take so long to not be dead.

Behind me, I hear an angry hiss.

I turn, and to surprise, there is one of the others. He gets close, trying to look past me. Sees the girl, and snaps at me. Anger, alarm. Pushes past.

I realize to surprise he is going to grab her.

“No!” I hiss back. Grab his arm, drag him hard to the side and shove back.

He falls, and drags himself up, angry. Others hear, come towards us. See her, start to hiss and shout. Start to try to get her too. I swing at the first who comes, and hit hard with body of my gun.

“Stop you!” I warn in a growl.

She is MINE! Why are they -?!

They do not stop. They come again, try to get at her. Hiss, growl, call out. I shove one, hit another.

“Stop you!” I shout louder. Behind me, I hear the girl move. Look, and see her trying to sit up.

I worry she will hit me too.

A gun crack. I turn, see one of us with a rifle. Look back, worried, as I hear her cry. She is holding an arm. New, fresh blood. No, no, no! She was so close to dead. More hits, she dies! No more anything!

Enraged, I raise my own gun. She will not kill us. I will. I shoot him.

I hit.

The others attack me then.

I shoot, I hit, and I don’t remember. Something gets me, hard, in the head, then another.

I go down.

I think very angry, very sad, it is not fair. Can’t remember why this is cruel. It is not right though. It’s…it’s….

Gone then.

I am sure I am dead this time.

-

But, I wake.

I think, fuzzy, ‘maybe a new apple.’ Feel relief.

Everything hurt.

But, something is good too. …The ground is good. I used to know it. It feels familiar. Like I could sleep here forever maybe.

I try and open my eyes, because that seems okay.

It’s harder than I think. Eyes feel heavy, tired. Head is wrong…er, than usual. Not sure why. Everything is fuzzying, like I am dying from no water, but in a way that feels warm and good. Like dying, if I liked it.

There is light, and as eyes start to work, I see blue coat looking down at me.

I am not so worried, because I know she will just hit me and leave an apple if she notices I am not dead.

I decide that is okay. Watch, stunted, as she moves. She sees me see her then. Stops fiddling with this thing above me, and turns to face.

“Hey,” her voice is soft, like water when I am hot in the sun, cools me, “You’re okay. Just hold still, okay? I’m not gonna hurt you.”

I don’t know the words. I think ‘you’ maybe is me. But not the rest. It feels familiar though. She doesn’t talk like she will bite. I am too fuzzy to care. Just blink eyes heavy, watch her. Something is stuck in my arm I notice, and I wonder if that will hurt me, but it’s hard to feel worried. Hard to feel anything but fuzzy.

“Can’t you do anything?” she asks something behind her.

I don’t know those words. I thought ‘you’ was me. But, she is not looking now.

“Not without a brain,” comes a new voice.

I do feel panic then. She will hit and leave an apple. Anything else kills me.

I struggle to sit up so I can fight or run away.

 So hard to do, and that scares me more.

“No no!” she calls, and I know that word. Not a good one. “Hey, easy,” she says, catching me with her hands and trying to push me back down, “Just calm down.”

Her voice is soft, but I am very scared. I struggle back, trying to see the other voice. I see no one, and that is bad. Could be anywhere.

The blue coat lets go with one hand and taps the thing stuck in my arm quickly. I suddenly feel calmer, almost like I might throw up, but so fuzzy I want to shut my eyes. I try to struggle, but I forget why as the fuzziness gets heavier. After a few seconds, the blue coat’s hand lifts carefully off my chest. I can’t remember why I was getting up before, so I lay still. It seems better there.

“Look,” she says, glancing behind her again, “I will GET you a brain—the right one! But there has to be something in the meantime. He’s not brain dead! He doesn’t act routine. His pockets are full of stuff I’ve left behind. He’s been following me. They all keep keepsakes around. They’re not brain dead, not totally. The connection must at least be marginally existent for them!”

“I can’t help you without his brain,” says the same man voice before. Still, I see nobody. That seems worrying still, but not enough to move for now.

“What about you?” asks the blue coat in frustration, turning in another direction, “Switch—lights!” she adds, sounding excited, “Smart lights!”

“Oh, good idea sweetie!” comes another girl voice. Not the wrist voice, and not blue coat.

Lights switch on around me then, bright, blinding, and I squeeze my eyes shut.

And feel.

Oh my god.

Despair, and horror, revulsion, and agony, hate, terror. I am filled. I can’t speak. I can barely think and stay alive.

I remember. Things I can’t usually understand.

There was a robot. Arms and knives, whirring saws. I was held down, screaming. I remember the vices, the grips. I remember the scoop, ripping out my brain. Metal pieces screwed into my skull.

No, I think. Praying for the understanding to go away.

It stays. It plays and replays. I see other lobotomized people, I see memories of killing. Eating raw meat. Animal. Not a person anymore. Not anything.

I am shaking. I can almost remember. Half remember words, half remember feelings and thoughts. Half remember people. I know I loved them, but I can’t remember what they were, I can’t remember their faces. I see them, then forget them immediately.

I can’t remember my face. I can’t remember my name.

I remember the snapping of greymatter as my brain went out.

I remember things…I remember pieces of things.

I remember the pine tree and pine is a word, not the color green, but I can’t remember what it looked like anymore. Why I loved it.

I don’t know who I am.

“I…I’m already dead,” I whisper. I find words again, and those are them. I feel myself remember how to cry, and I do, because I feel too much despair and terror to keep inside. I have to get it out. I would eject it any way I can.

This is a person, above me. I know that now.

I see her. Try to ask for her to help me, but I don’t know how to fix me. I don’t know what to ask. I don’t know how to explain.

I try, to find the words. ‘My brain,’ I think, ‘please.’

But I can’t. I can’t find the words I think, not as words I can remember to speak. I know what happened, but human words are gone.

I’m dead. I’m a corpse.

“It’s okay,” says the blue coat woman. I see worry in her face. Her hand touches my shoulder.

I spasm with my shaking.

Terror in me, I realize the clarity I have can go away.

I lose my sanity completely.

Terrified, I find motor control and reach a hand to her and grab her arm. “Help me.”

I find words. “Help me help me help me!” I beg. Find the arm with my other hand, cling to her. Try to drag myself up to her and hold on tighter, afraid now she will leave me to be dead again. That she will turn off whatever she turned on to raise me from my grave. “Please please please! Please help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me, please, please, please help me! Please help! Help me!”

I am sobbing. She is answering me, but I don’t hear it past my wails for several tries.

“I’ll help you, it’s okay! I’m going to fix you—I’ll fix you! I’ll help you,” she calls back, and I don’t know the words.

I can only think ‘Help me’—don’t forget don’t forget the words oh please please don’t forget don’t lose them they’re the only words I know to save me. I keep using them. ‘Help me help me help me.’ I am trying to climb up her arms and dig my fingers into her spine so she can’t be rid of me. So I won’t die in the cracks of the ground I’ve been living in. Terrified like I can breathe fear and it is me.

Her arms go around me and she goes down onto the bed with me, wraps her legs and arms around me, buries my head against her chest. Lays her head on top of mine. Holds tight. I cling back. Shaking. Trying to grab more and more and more, until I realize I have grabbed her finally as solidly as I can. My hands still fidget. I plead and plead and plead until I lose my unused voice. I can only hear choked, awful whispers from my throat, but still I try. Finally, past my own dying begs, I hear her making sound back.

I begin to hear it slowly, very slowly, when I can’t hear me anymore.

She clings to me, holding strong, but not crushing. She is saying, “It’s okay.” She says. “You’re going to be okay. I will fix you. I will heal you. You aren’t dead. You’ll be alive again. I promise. It’ll be okay.”

‘Alive again.’

I hear that.

I think ‘again, that’s in the song.’

‘Begin again,’ I know the words now. The meaning.

I feel some kind of clarity. Comfort. Like the song was a promise too. Like the right words.

“Alive again,” I start trying to repeat. I can’t hear myself beyond a hiss anymore, but I try. I try, I try, I try.

She must hear it somehow. She says, “Yes, alive again. I’ll fix you. I promise. It’s okay. Calm down, okay? I can heal you.”

Heal.

I think of the little white…stimpacks, I almost remember. ‘Heal.’

I think of closed cuts.

Heal.

I try to shut my eyes. Try to not cry anymore.

So tired. Maybe I will die from the crying. I worry sincerely then that I might.

“There you go,” she whispers, and her grip loosens, “It’s okay.”

I panic. “No,” I beg, opening my eyes, shaking again, trying to find her face and pull her closer to me, “No don’t go Apple don’t go please!”

I am crying again. I see her face, surprised. Pain. She must be hurt too.

“Don’t put me back please,” I weep, “Don’t make me like I was please please! Do anything! Anything! Don’t break me again, please! Please don’t!”

I think she will cry.

“I won’t.” Her voice shakes.

I am too scared to believe her.

Trembling all along my body, I tug my head against her chest again and try to hold tight to make it hard for her to go. I can’t breathe slowly, and I can’t get enough breath in my lungs. It scares me too. I am afraid it means I am already dying again. So soon.

“No please,” I whimper, “Please Apple. Please. Don’t hurt me anymore. Don’t break me again. I’m sorry. Please. Don’t break me. Don’t kill me again. Please, I want to be a person. Don’t take me away. Don’t. Please don’t. Help me. Please, please. Please. Help.”

“Okay,” she promises, not moving anymore, “Okay.”

She stays a long time. I beg, and cry, and plead. She says words I remember and words I don’t and words I half know, voice soft like the bed, and sad, worried. Kind.

She holds on to me.

I am so exhausted from begging and crying and being a corpse, I lose consciousness finally, after hours.

I’m already dead.

I was the whole time. I just didn’t know it.

-

When I wake up again, I feel heavy. Stiffness like a corpse. I am sure that is what I am now. I am afraid to open my eyes and see it. I know she will be gone. Everything is gone.

But, I open my eyes.

She is still there.

I am curled up on her, clinging. She is quiet, watching me. Awake, and still there. She did not leave me.

“Hey,” she says softly. I stare. “How are you doing?”

I try hard to remember what that means. Makes my head ache to try.

But.

…’am I okay’. I turn the sound into words into meaning. Try to go the other way and turn meaning into words into sound.

“I am alive?” I check worriedly.

She nods. “Yes.”

I think. My voice cracks. “I can stay alive?”

“You will,” says Apple, “I promise.”

I cry again. Pull myself closer to her, worried. “You help me?” I ask when I can make words.

“Yes,” she promises, arms wrapping gently around me, “I’ll help. Don’t worry. We’ll fix you up. Like new. I’m really good at medicine; I’ll make sure you’re okay.”

I try to express gratefulness, but all the words I can think of are ‘We.’ That she called us ‘we’. Me, plus somebody else. Her, and me. Not alone now. Not alone.

“We?” I manage.

“Yes, we,” she agrees, “We’re together now. You’re not alone.”

I try to believe it. Try to calm down. “Two of us?” I suggest.

“Two of us,” she agrees, and there’s something important in her face.

[aidyaiden]

didnt read enough acswy today, in my honest opinion

[risingsunresistance]

he is looking

[faultsofyouth]

can't decide if I want to be a gynecologist or if I want to marry one

[rainbow-arrow]

i love love love love when people take days to read untitled (valid it's 320k words) and they document it in the comments

[mrrharper]

Waiting For The Roommate

Max sat in the passenger seat of his roommate's truck, waiting for Buck, who needed to quickly come back to their dorm room. As he waited he took off his tank top, it was fuckin' hot inside. He rolled down the window to get some fresh inside the car.

As he stuck his head out the window to breathe in some fresh air he saw some nerd approach him. He was wearing a dark brown button-down shirt and had a stack of papers in his hand.

"Max, is that you?" The nerd asked, looking at him. A smile appeared on his face.

"uhhhhhhhh... dude, do i know ya?" He asked, convincing himself not to call the guy a loser or a nerd. Coach said he had to get better at dealing with strangers.

"Max, it's me - Michael. We went to high school together!" The other guy replied, clearly convinced that they knew each other. High school? Max's head was covered with a fog, he couldn't conjure up any specific memories from high school.

"you sure bro?"

"Damn, Max, we had like half our classes together!" The nerd was getting a bit frustrated for some reason. "We talked about going to the same uni, and so much more! And now you say you don't know me?"

Max tried to focus. High school, friends, classes, college. It felt like his brain was fighting against him, a thick fog covering everything. His thoughts began turning towards his next workout. Damn, he'll be doing arms and chest. Yea-- Holy shit, he knew that guy!

"oh fuck, mike, yeah, of course, how are you brah?" Max extended his hand for Mike to bump, but he just awkwardly looked at it. Max ignored it.

"Oh my god, for a moment I thought you weren't joking" A half-hearted laugh escaped Mike's mouth. Max just grinned. "I'm fine, settled into college life. Found a study group--" Mike continued talking but Max didn't register another word. He was this guy's good bro - apparently - but that didn't mean he would be able to tolerate that nerd bullshit. He was made for different things than studying - like workin' out with his best bro Buck.

"Anyway" Mike looked straight at Max, whose attention came back. "How was your first year. You look... like a different person!"

"what you mean bruh?" Max asked. What did that ner-- what did Mike mean? Different? He was always a badass jock.

"I mean, you're jacked! In high school you hated gym class, and here you are, buff and all."

"dude, am like, ya know, a real bro, dude. gotta be jacked as hell" He responded and flexed his right arm, his biceps moving and bulging under his skin.

"I mean, that's quite the change. Like, we kinda lost contact after the summer, and you didn't give any sign of life, and I thought... but you're here!" Mike was clearly excited and Max smiled. Wait, what was this dude's deal? He was textin' and talkin' with a nerd like that? Nah, this didn't make sense... where the fuck was Buck where he needed him!

"huhuhuhuhuhuh, yeah bruh" Max just chuckled like the dumb jock he was, he didn't know what to say. He shifted in his seat and scratched his armpit.

"Anyway" Mike went on "how was your first year in college? Were you able to get into that engineering program you've talked about?"

Engineeri-- what? "huhuhuh bro, are you high dude, i ain't here for some weird soundin' shit like that bro. am here to get drunk, work out and crush State, fuck yeah duhuhuhuh." Oh yeah, Max remembered the last game they played, State's lame ass defence couldn't stop the brute force of their offensive line. And the look on their faces when their WR1 tore a muscle in his leg... fuckin' priceless dude!

Mike was clearly not prepared for that answer, which Max found weird, cause he thought his jacked bod was proof enough that he wasn't a stupid nerd.

"Wait, so..." He was clearly confused "if you're not doing engineering then what is your major?"

"major?" Max had no idea what that guy meant... Major... what was a major... Coach talked to him about something like that... It was something along the lines of... "uhhhhh, general ed? dunno bro, never really been a guy to focus on shit."

"What, general education?" Mike seemed shocked. "But, like... I don't understand, Max, you... You said you wanted that, so that you could do a PhD... Why did you change your mind... Like, really, why did you change so much?!"

All that talk 'bout changes made Max's head spin a little bit. Like, what changes? He's been a fuckin' bro since he came here, got a room with Buck, cause before that-- his brain again began filling with fog, his thoughts slowing down to a halt, but not before he blurted out a response.

"duuuuude, like, bro, ive been a real bruh, like, forever dude, duuuuuuuh, like i got my bro Buck, and he got me to Coach, and uhhhhhhhhh, ya know, he worked on me and huhuhuh--" and his mind went blank, a dumb grin stuck on his face.

"What do you mean? A coach 'worked on' you? That sounds... concerning, you know that, right?" Mike adjusted his glasses and looked at Max, clearly concerned.

But Max... Max's brain had shut off. He was sitting in the passenger seat of his best bro Buck's truck, chuckling like a dumb idiot and drooling slightly.

"duhuhuhuhuhuh, duuuude... fuckin' hot today brah, gotta get that pump huhuhuhuh" He flexed his arm and touched his bulging biceps.

"Jesus, did they do something to you? Did you have some traumatic head injury?" Mike leaned on the car, looking inside the vehicle to see what was happening with Max. "God, did they brainwash you? You're a completely different person... and a dumb jock!"

It took a while for Max's fog-covered brain to register what the nerd said. And before he even began formulating a response Buck approached the car.

Buck was wearing a loose tank top that revealed his broad shoulders and giant guns, while also showing off his chest. His shorts, like second skin on his thick thighs, left nothing to imagination with his bulge clearly visible. He was a jock. An alpha. Max's best bro.

"duuude, ya won't believe the chick i saw while gettin' out of the dorm--" He started speaking as he opened the door on the driver's side, but then he noticed Mike standing by Max's window. "ey bruh, who's that loser?"

"huh?" Max turned to Buck, his grin disappearing and his his brow now furrowed. "i... dunno, bro..."

Buck and Mike looked at each other for a moment, the first one annoyed, the second slightly terrified.

"get away from the car" Buck barked as he sad down in front of the steering wheel.

"Wait, please, just a moment, you know what happened to Max? Pleas i just want to--"

"Go away, you fuckin' nerd" was the response Mike got. He took a step away from the car but didn't go away. Meanwhile Max realized what was happening. Some nerd was disturbing them and not listening to Buck's commands. And that wasn't the right thing to do. He turned his head to face the nerd.

"why you starin' at me, nerd" Max growled. His mind, completely covered by the fog, was now following Buck's lead. And Buck didn't like the nerd. So Max didn't like the nerd.

"Max, what... what happened?" Terror shifted into confusion as Mike tried to comprehend Max's sudden change in mood.

"oh, just fuck off, loser" Max responded and Buck took that as a sign. He turned the engine on and drove away, leaving Michael alone in the parking lot.

"uhhhhhh, do we know this guy?" Max asked a few minutes later. "that nerd form before?"

"nah, bro, of course not. we're real jocks, we're not gonna fraternize with fuckin' losers." Buck let our a low and dumb laugh. "by the way, tomorrow we're gonna get ya to Coach for a check up, just in case"

[tangledinink]

your vampire rpg game looks SO COOL OMG!!!! would you mind if you told us a bit about it? also i love your art SO MUCH OH EM GEE!!!!! the lineart and the shading and the coloring!!!!! have a great day/night!! 🫶

GIGGLING WILDLY. omg i'd love to--

Our game takes place in current-day Blackwater Bay, a make-believe city in California under Anarch with hella crime, just to keep things fun and funky. Our original party make-up included Prescott, a young Nosferatu with a penchant for dirt-bike-racing, auto mechanics, and being clueless, Tomasso, a ghoul-turned-vampire Lasombra who worked with organized crime in the city, his hired muscle, Dimitri, a massive Russian Gangrel with 0 braincells and a badger for a ghoul, and Candle, a (secret) Ravnos who travels the country in his van with his pet rabbit Brooklyn and has recently found himself in Blackwater. Tomasso (Tommy) eventually got his shit wrecked (got blown up) and Candle basically ended up Taking Ownership of Dimitri. Tommy previously provided him with housing, salary, etc etc, so Candle took up this mantle in Tommy's absence, as how lucrative career as a stripper left him with more than enough pocket change to Sugar Daddy.

Candle and Dimitri were easily the most fun dynamic in the game because they'd just Do Whatever. They're constantly just fucking around and doing shit. There's half a braincell between them and they're constantly prepared to fuck around and find out. Candle just tells Dimitri to do stuff and they do it. Hey, Dimitri, wanna go clubbing? Hey, have you ever been on a ferris wheel before? Dimitri let me paint your nails. Let me braid your hair. Let's play truth or dare. I dare you to pick up that guy and throw him as hard as you can--

Candle has HELLA high charisma stats and can talk just about anyone into anything, and though he's not super well-suited for combat, Dimitri sure is, which made them an absolute delightful power couple. On the rare occasion Candle was unable to talk someone down, he could just sic his Gangrel on them. Candle is very sassy, outgoing, and talkative, but also has a bit of a temper and when he tells people to SHUT UP AND LET HIM TALK people LISTEN because he just has that level of authority. And also, he has Dimitri.

My other favorite thing about Candle is that he's a ridiculously effective hunter. Stripping is both how he makes his money and finds his food-- one song on stage and the entire club is pretty much invariably enraptured with him, and he basically has his pick of the herd. All he's gotta do is suggest they go to the bathroom, to the back, to the alley, etc. for some fun and then uhhhhhhhh bite the shit out of them and drink their blood <3 works like a charm every time. He is so good at this, in fact, that he 1) sugar daddies the entire party, as he's by far the most effective moneymaker 2) when we're in a rush or if people aren't up for a long hunt, he will literally HUNT FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY FOR THEM and just bring people back to their hiding places to feed, because he basically NEVER misses and it takes SO little effort for him to do this.

And the whole time he's running around being this cute lil strawberry blonde with a rabbit in his purse ;3c

[overkaffeinated]

what’s your au about? Other than Mac being a belly dancer and Wukong liking to look at him

(looks at the meager storyline I wrote before passing tf out) uhhhhhhhh (ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

Thank you for the comment!

Ngl, that was the main plot point of this au lol. I really wanted to point out how Wukong was a MASSIVE simp, so my tired brain decided, "got nothing to lose, why not?" But there is a story besides that, I promise!

The idea starts with one of the gods (probably Guan Yin or Nezha, but it really hasn't been decided yet) asking a 'small' favour from Mk and his friends. A pretty big shot demon with a hell of a lot of influence somehow got their hands on an important Celestial artifact and the gods need it back, but they can't outright snag it back because they don't want to create conflict with this demon and all his supporters (Big guy owns a large ring of popular casinos and/or bars, and a lot of items get gambled away because of betting). So instead, they go "Oh you guys are mortal and don't have any direct connection with us, you do it and we'll all be happy!"

So the Monkie Kids (Wukong + Redson got dragged into this as well) all try and figure out how tf they're supposed to sneak into this demon's terrain, get what they need, and sneak out again without getting killed or causing a potential war. Tang and Redson start looking through some of the info they got on this guy and realizes that he hires lots of performers to keep he and his customers entertained, so Tang absent-mindedly brings up the idea of having someone be a distraction. Redson latches onto that idea and claims that he knows a guy and rushes away. (*cough cough* monkey uncle who *cough cough*)

So the night of the heist finally arrives, and everyone gets all dressed up in nice clothes to fit in with everyone else. Redson refuses to tell who the 'distraction' is, claiming they'll know when they see him. They sit around and wait for the cue, when an announcer comes up and tells the crowd that they have a special event lined up for the evening. The spotlights turn on, everyone looks to where they are pointing, and out comes Macaque in all his belly dancer glory.

Cue Wukong almost dying of a nose bleed.

Everyone kinda sits there in shock, before Macaque spots them, gives them a subtle nod and starts dancing, to which Redson grabs Mk, kicks Wukong, and tells them it's time to go. They all, as discretely as they can with Wukong stopping to gawk every now and then, sneak over to where the demon is and start interacting with his lackeys while Mk shifts in his smaller form to snag the artifact, which has been placed on this nice little pedestal RIGHT next to where the big bad sits.

He almost sneaks away with it before the demon shifts and starts turning towards Mk. He starts panicking, and then Macaque is suddenly in front of the demon, taking his attention while secretly dropping Mk through the shadows. The rest excuse themselves and rush out, finding Mk in a dumpster in the alleyway out back behind the building.

They get back to Pigsy's, celebrate a job well done, and Macaque pops up after a bit to drop Redson off at his family's base. He gets hit with a lot of thank yous and 'holy shit you know how to DANCE?! You gotta teach me sometime' (Mei), before noticing how red Wukong is. He teases him over it, and they all laugh at how flustered he gets.

Anddddddddd that's a wrap! I might add more defining details later on if I get around to it, but that should be about it. It's kinda a lot tho, sorry about that (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

Essentially, this entire story was a sleep deprived idea that came to me at around 3 or so in the morning while listening to music (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

I hope this answers your question!

[oneirataxia-girl]

Relationship asks!! # 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 10, 12, 15, 20, 21, 36, 39, 45, 48! I realize this might get a little long but I want answers for both Keller and Midlaw hehehe

hadley lovely you're so right this was long af 😭 so I split this into one post for Keller (this one) and another for Midlaw (link here!) but without further ado, let's jump in! tagging the other op anime girlie @auxiliarydetective bc I don't wanna spoil the others

1. How did they meet and what were their first impressions of each other?

Sabaody arc, when the Heart, Kid, and Strawhat pirates leave the auction house and they're surrounded by Marines. Killer jumps in and takes out one of them just as the man is about to attack Kenji's unknowing back; cue Kenji's eyes widening like dinner plates watching Killer land on the ground in slow motion and Killer thinking wow this guy is so dumb (affectionate) like my captain when we were young KID TF ARE YOU TOYING WITH THESE MARINES FOR WE GOTTA GO-

2. What kind of dynamic do they have with each other?

smartass x dumbass, sunshine protector x sunshine, "I'd die for you" "who said you could die??? WHO SAID YOU COULD DIE KILLER I NEED NAMES"

3. What do others think of them?

Kid is like ???????? at Killer's choice of a boyfriend, but Killer's taste is all his fault because Kenji like him in some ways (much to Kenji's horror but we'll get to that another time) and Killer is basically programmed to like that type; the other Kid Pirates, after grilling Kenji about his intentions of their beloved second-in-command, are pretty supportive of the two; Mari approved of Killer before they even got together; the other Strawhats also become fond of him, Franky and Usopp are the (joking) exception since both of them had to put up with Kenji ranting about Killer's weapons for weeks after Wano, Jimbei is the fishman Kenji goes to ask about having a crush and it’s very fluffy, then Brook, Sanji and Chopper pop in and it dissolves into teasing jabs, Robin mentions offhandedly to Nami about Kenji’s not-so-subtle attempt to ask after Killer in the day’s newspaper and Nami is iffy on whether the other pirate is good enough, but keeps those thoughts to herself until she can access Killer’s potential herself. Zoro pretends to be asleep through all this but he’s glad that Kenji doesn’t know about his fight with Killer as Kamazo (and has no plans of telling him that), and Luffy’s just glad that his crew is getting along with Jaggy’s

5. Is their joint future bright or bleak?

uhhhhhhhh... ideally yes. but it might have to change for canon events, but I do think they get a happy ending

7. Do they have a desire to protect each other?

YES. Killer is of the opinion that Kenji can't fight, and although that's objectively Not True, Kenji's combat levels are a lot lower than Killer's, so when their crews fight together, Killer tries to keep an eye on Kenji. Kenji is also fiercely protective of his Kil, so when anyone makes a snide remark about Killer's time on Wano, the poor sod has to face a very angry red ball of fluff (Kid) and a similarly furious, gun-cocking blacksmith

10. Who would win in a fight?

Killer. no diff, if they're forced to fight (which would be the only scenario either of them would raise a weapon at the other), Kenji would be out without question

12. Who is a better caregiver?

it’s a close one but Kenji. Killer is good at caring for everyone but himself, but Kenji is a firm believer of "you can't take care of anyone if you don't care for yourself" so Kenji is the deliverer of sunshine and smiles, and he's mentally okay while doing it!

15. Who has better fashion sense?

I really wanna say Kenji because he is the crew's secondary fashionista (behind Nami but before Sanji), but I believe that Killer's polka dot era is going to come back and that Killer was iconic af. so for now it's a tie

20. What's the worst thing about them teaming up?

Killer would constantly check up on Kenji, which could impact his focus and allow the opponent to get some hits that normally Killer could block. Killer's checkups and possible injuries could also affect Kenji's aim, as he might abandon logic and charge at the enemy without even loading his guns

21. What's the best thing about them teaming up?

if Killer does close range combat while Kenji takes care of mid-range, with both of them equipped with a talkie-walkie version of a transponder snail to communicate, then they could deal some serious damage to anyone facing them. other than the battlefield, they're also a pretty fire duo when it comes to making drinks (Killer watches in loving astonishment as Kenji comes up with the weirdest mixes that always turn out delicious); if both of them + Sanji are in the kitchen, the crews just know they'll be eating and drinking well

36. What is a gift one would give to the other?

Kenji would give him little metal decorations like bracelets or brooches with his mask's design integrated into the pieces. Killer would buy fun trinkets when the Victoria Punk docks on islands to show his boyfriend when they meet again

39. What's an inside joke they'd have together?

"when will Kid and Mari and Trafalgar finally kiss, I wonder?" "my sister has WAY better taste than those ruffians, Kil" "Ken, I'm one of Kid's 'ruffians'" "but you're the best ruffian to ruff, and Mari doesn't settle for anything other than the best, so she's definitely not getting with Jaggy or Tra-guy or both of them"

a ton of angst, lots of yelling, and three confessions later...

"so..." "don't. just lemme mope in peace, Kil"

Killer never lets Kenji forget this. it later becomes a joke that Kenji is actively terrible at predicting romantic relationships and he has fun making the wildest matches ever

45. If one of them was in trouble, what would the other do?

look... all I'm saying is if a guy named "Massacre Soldier" Killer has a boyfriend who apparently once used a person's blood to make his bullets, I would think twice before trying to hurt either one of them. rip(ieces) to those who do otherwise but I value my life

48. If they swapped bodies, how would they handle it?

first, Kenji would claim this as the reason why Mari should leave Law (Mari's typical poker face nearly breaks at the sight of big beefy Killer waving his arms around in typical Kenji fashion); then he'd get Killer to teach him how to use his Punishers, which leads to Killer strapping the blades to Kenji's body to prevent Kenji from hurting himself, which leads to a pouting Kenji, which leads to Killer petting his own head (wow Ken wasn't lying his hair really feels nice in these hands), which leads to Midlaw & co stifling their snorts at the sight of a (compared to Killer) smol twig of a guy stroking back the hair of someone twice his size that practically has a raincloud over his head. let's just say that after this, Law had to endure quite a few dirty glances and passive aggressive remarks from his brother-in-law for a while

give me a number + relationship and I'll tell you something about that relationship!

[the-furies]

System ask questions. All of them.

YAY YIPPEE

Which headmates are the iconic couple - probably Inland and Concept tbh!!

Which headmates are the unlikely couple - Vol & PT tbh. quote from the night they became official:

Which headmates were enemies at first and now best friends and/or a couple - Inland and Auth. they fuckin hated each other for SO LONG AJSKDJCJCJZ no idea what changed between em but I'm glad it changed goddamn

Which headmate is the most different from the body? - i meannnn. All of us tbh DBDJSJFJCJXKD

Which headmates are city folk - Shivers 1000% tbh

Which headmates are country folk - idk actually!

Which headmates have the most unique music taste? - idk actually!! our music tastes r either v similar to each other or not very unique to begin with hmmmm

Which headmate has the most specific role? - either Auth [their role is to Be Cared For And Doted On when up front] or Suggestion [Its role is To Be A Sapient Stim Toy. Its role is to Literally be thrown around and hit. do not worry this doesn't hurt him at all and he enjoys it JAKAAKSJDJFJDJD]

Are there any headmates from a specific state/country/etc different from the body? - I mean technically all us Skills are fantasy French i guess. does that count

Which headmates are emo/punk/goth etc? - Aesthetic-wise? I don't think any of us actually!

What are some pet peeves headmates have about other headmates? - Scio & Cass are super annoyed by Mr. Soot's voice and demeanor tbh if that counts. Like the three do not get along well at all SJDJSJSKFJF

What headmate was the biggest surpise? - FUCKING CHILCHUCK??????????? BRO WE WERE EXPECTING SENSHI. WHERE DID YOU COME FROM AJAISJDJFDJ

What headmate has a skill that the body doesn't usually, but when they front the body gets it (or almost gets it)? - PT is hella skilled at friendship bracelet making meanwhile the rest of us suck at anything that isn't a chevron or smth really simple HSDJSJDJFJD so all the bracelets we make she's gotta be up front for

What headmate makes the most typos? - I DO AJAKAKSDJFJFJDJD i type FAST and unless I'm typoing my name I don't care to fix em because the typos add Flavour. They add Character. Also i dont feel like fixing em. Also Logic!! due to uhhhhhhhh psychosis shit he's really uncoordinated w the body now and has poor motor skills

What headmate has the weirdest (/pos) way of talking/typing? - idk!! rn we don't really have anyone w unusual typing quirks outside of Logic & his typos [lh] but talking-wise hmmmm. I guess Shivers! She kinda blasts her voice all through the headspace & into our minds when she talks and she is VERY loud but that's expected ig since she embodies the spirit of a city and all. and also Logic again actually, it's not Weird per se but he slurs his words a lot usually as a side effect of our last Big Psychosis Episode™. Also shoutout to Esprit who primarily speaks through barking and other animal sounds, love that 4 you but pleaze stop barking directly in my ear when u front AIAJSJSKD OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABT RHETORIC he sounds like he's choking when he speaks. Which. He is. On. His own neck LMAO

-Electrochem

[cheeriecherrymain]

I uhhhhhhhh,,,,,,,

,,,,,would like to issue a formal apology about these last several months. By which I mean, my complete and utter radio silence (aside from the occasional shitpost).

Life has been hectic! In great ways, in wonderful ways, and,,,,in some not so good ways, too.

In June, my baby sister was born! She's amazing and incredible, and she's so so cute! I've never wanted kids of my own (neither adopted or biological) but I love taking care of kids. I love teaching them, and playing with them, and I love seeing what kinds of wacky shit they do.

I've been really involved with helping my parents with my sister, and such a duty has taken up a lot of my time. My whole world has basically been revolving around this tiny little human, and around the rest of my family.

And as such, I started neglecting my desire to write. At least in the beginning.

In April of 2023, something happened. I don't really know what, but I can pinpoint the exact day that my mood shifted. Nothing overly concerning, but a moment in time to be slightly suspicious of: a feeling I haven't felt in many years.

Depression.

Not a crisis or anything like that, but the beginning of what could become a months-long episode, if I wasn't careful. I've dealt with this kind of thing for nearly twenty years now, which means I know my own signs. I know not to ignore those seemingly-small actions and thoughts, because they can absolutely lead to something bigger.

So for a little while, I tried to really focus on writing - something I love. Something that I'm passionate about. I tried to focus on art, and on painting, and on music. But it slowly became harder and harder. My thoughts grew muddled and slow, new ideas weren't forming, no matter how hard I tried. Even when trying to find different subjects, it was the same.

My creativity had just. Stopped.

So I set it all down for a bit. Slowed down my progress, and gave myself permission to rest and recuperate and take care of myself. I was hoping that I had just 'sprained my brain', and that soon I'd be back on my dramatic nonsense, typing away and having fun.

But that...didn't happen.

And my mood kept sinking lower and lower. No matter how I kept up my self care routines, no matter how much I tried to do the things I know that I enjoy.

Just.

Grey.

So I talked to my parents. I set up an appointment with my doctor. I got in to see my therapist again. I feel like I'm failing, for not being able to keep up with a community I love. I know that I'm not, deep down, but the anxiety is still there, on the surface.

I'm sad that I'm not able to write anything right now. I'm sad that I'm not able to create art. I'm sad that I can't sit down and read, and enjoy, and scream about all sorts of beautiful pieces that get posted. I'm sad that i'm not able to keep up with the friends I've made here.

Having a supportive household has been an incredible benefit for me, it always has. But especially now, when my own brain is kicking me in the ass for reasons I can't even figure out.

I'm so grateful to have a tiny human to focus on, during a time when I'm not able to do much else. All these people bring light and happiness and peace to my life, and I don't know where I'd be without them.

All this being said, I hope you guys understand! I'm not going away any time soon: I'm still here. Lurking. And I absolutely plan on coming back to writing, eventually. That's not something I'd ever give up. Ever.

But I am taking a break, for my own benefit. We gotta take care of ourselves, the same way we desire to take care of others!

So instead of 'goodbye', I'll say this instead: I'll see you guys in a while!

With love,

Cherry <3

[yaoxsblog]

Bosnia horny headcanons NOW 🔥🔥🔥

GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE 🫡🫡🫡

Ok as per usual CW: mentions of sex, fetishes and overall gross stuff, if you don’t want to see it don’t read

Oh and also disclaimer, my version of Enis is a cis male bisexual, and most if not all of this will apply to his relationship with herze, i mean what else Did you expect of me really.

I actually think he’s not 100% a bottom. Yeah i know throwing tomatoes because that joke that herze tops him is so old it sprouted roots in my brain but just hear me out. Cause when he gets to actually be dominant he’s got that dog in him (i don’t even know what that means)

What i wanted to say basically is dom bos is more agressive.

Sub bos is way different. Good boy, very obedient 10/10

Giving oral >>>recieving oral

His sex drive is actually pretty low, out of him and herze you would think hes to more horny one but no lol

Totally into being choked, also probably enjoys being tied up in some way

WOW THATS A LOT OF EDGING like a lot a lot

Hes actually pretty quiet, sometimes whimpers but almost never moans. Instead he prefers for his partner to be loud

^^^ doesn’t even have to ask herze for it, she’s just loud in general, screaming with the s this time

… ass guy. All I’m gonna say. Ass and Hips are Top tier.

Fav position is probably some variation of cowgirl or lotus (oh and any form of face riding)

Very much enjoys taking his time, teasing or being teased, leaving little kisses everywhere and slowly undressing his partner (contrary to herze who would just like to unzip his pants and hop on Top)

Sigh… okay fine he has a snail trail (but i very much prefer the polish term for it because ścieżka do leszka is objectively funnier)

And MAYBE… because im not sure but cum gutters???

Fav place to finish on… well nowhere on the outside hehe *gets electrocuted*

Sigh besides that probably his partner’s stomach

ACTUALLY doesn’t smoke right after he finishes, but that is literally just because herze doesn’t like it when he does, thats the only time of day when she wants to cuddle so you gotta make use of that

Doesn’t actually have the balls to do it but probably fantasizes about doing it in public

When he was little uncle turkey told him masturbation is haram and therefore he doesn’t do it even now (and when he does he cries after)

This comes as no surprise but he enjoys being pegged. You knew this was gonna be mentioned and here it is

Not super horny but super filrty and probably says shit like „hey bbg u wanna tie me up and drip wax on my dick????”

Im not gonna do cock size and color headcanons. If you can imagine he has one i think thats enough to think about

I mentioned that he likes touching well uhhhhhhhh this also applies here. Def grabs herze’s Hips whenever he can

Likes sundresses, skirts, anything that can give you ‚easy access’ *gets electrocuted again*

Ok i think thats enough bye lolll

[luckyedie]

Soooooo I answered some Hancock prompts and did a doodle for @gloomytk.

LOVED writing these. Thanks gloomy! 🫶

How do you feel about glitter?

Why? Wh-….you ‘ain’t got any on ya, right? Tell me you don’t have glitter. Sister, you gotta burn that stuff when you see it, you gotta burn it! It-it-it gets in the skin, listen I’m a ghoul, it’ll stay there forever! I-I’m just gonna stand over here until I know you’re clean. Nuh-nononono! You stay over there, yeah. Just gonna, climb this…in case it gets on the floor.

What do you think of as you fall asleep?

I’m usually worryin’ Shaun is gonna sneak in and put a pillow over my face.

Hah, don't look at me like that! I'm just messin'.

That’s a tough question though…uh. The booze used to help out with that, but since I cut back I just try to think of blue skies, lighthouses. Y’know, peaceful shit.

Do you know the Brotherhood has a giant robot?

Christ, they have a giant robot?! Man I really needed to keep a better eye on those guys. Well that just spoiled my whole day.

What are your thoughts on Deacons pathological lying?

I 'aint tryin' to be rude, but if I was that guy I would wanna pretend to be anyone else.

Hm…I guess I was tryin' to be rude.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Sister, when you've hallucinated as much as I have, you become a really bad case study for paranormal activity.

If you could get a tattoo, what would it be?

I used to have a bunch but they all kinda fell off. If they can get the tattoo to stick I'd get somethin' original this time, like one of the kids' names, or a heart with barbed-wire around it or somethin’.

Why are you laughin’? You like the funny ghoul?

Would you ever quit smoking cigarettes?

I’d only quit if you wanted to kick the habit. Cancer is the least of my worries, but you gotta keep an eye on those free radicals sunshine, and I 'aint referring to me.

Have you ever thought about owning a Time-Share?

What? I don't got a watch.

Do you think Deathclaws are capable of being tamed?

I dunno, ask Baby, she's likes talkin’ to the wildlife. I think she’s gonna grow up vegantarian.

What's the best high you've ever experienced?

Uhhhhhhhh…..

He proceeds to disappear into his own mind for five solid minutes.

What's some of your pet peeves?

Bad catering at an orgy. Next question.

Do you have games on your phone?

Huh? What, like phone sex? Sugar, the phones don’t work anymore, but we can talk dirty over the radio if you wanna.

Star Wars or Star Trek?

Is that a book or somethin'? You been to the library? Hey, next time you go can you find out what a time share is?

What would you say to someone going through extreme trauma?

Uh, I'm pretty slow on the uptake with the emotional side of things. I'd usually offer chems I guess, but with a gal though, I'd just hold ‘em and be there, and try not to flap my mouth too much.

How do you feel about the totality of human existence?

People are funny. I like ‘em. There’s a few bad apples, but they stop being a problem after they stop being alive.

Do you consider yourself a monster (as in monstrous personality, not appearance)

Sometimes. Yeah... Sometimes I think I'm a hot commodity. Never got the balance right.

What’s with all the questions? Are we doing the pillow-talk first today?

How do you want people to remember you?

A decent guy who left the world a better place than how he found it.

Chocolate or Peanut Butter?

Chocolate survived the bombs better. Peanut butter went wrong. Dunno what it used to be like but now it’s…eugh… I know you told me it used to taste good but - Let's change the subject, I went out last night and I'm feelin' kinda nauseous as it is.

What makes you feel alive?

Nearly dying is a rush. Dying not so much, I wouldn’t recommend it. Yeah I know I didn’t, technically.

I am tryin’ not to get shot quite so much these days.

No, no no. See, that guy came outta nowhere. That doesn’t count!

What's your favorite smell?

Hm…you smell good in the morning. Maybe not the breath quite so much.

Ow, careful with the bullet wound.

How do I look?

Delightful, as usual. Oh, you want me to elaborate? I like watchin’ ya walk away in that vault getup sunshine, I could eat ya right up.

Will you please drink all of this purified water bottle?

Only if you order me around.

Forest or Beach?

Beach. The forests kinda give me the creeps. I get jumpy.

Will you drive me to the store so I can get some gluten-free ice cream?

Yeah. What flavor? Hey we can eat them on the docks and watch the dead dolphins float. It’ll be romantic.

Does the hat stay on during sex?

Hah! Until it falls off. We could give it a test drive later if you want, see how long I can keep it on my head.

Can I wear it?

Sure.

Well look atcha, cute as a button. You look about ready to instate a political system of some kind. Politicians are supposed to be cute, right? That’s the angle I was going for anyway.

What is your honest opinion of Kent Conolly?

Considerin’ you were one of the few things that got him outta the lounger, I’d say he's got a little crush on you. Don’t blame the guy either

Why have you never started a community garden in Goodneighbor?

Because Codsworth would come and micromanage the hell out of it. I heard about the fiasco in Sanctuary, with the gnomes.

What's your favorite swear?

Ah man I like ‘em all. Hm, blasphemy too….That shit’s got tenure. Goddamn rolls off the tongue quite nice, don't ya think?

I know, I'm so classy.

Can I hold your hand?

Sure, don't pull too hard though, it might fall off.

…Hey, wanna go make out behind that dumpster before the raiders get here?

What does your skin feel like?

Uh… dunno. Just feels lumpy to me, my fingers are all messed up. You tell me, hold up, I'll unbutton my shirt.

Lumpy. See? That’s what I said! Okay and warm. Mm. This is nice.

What's your opinion on Fisto?

Hah! What? Fisto? Is that like a punchin' bot?

Can I leave him here? Thanks.

Ohhh! Frank mentioned this guy! Haha! Put him right next to the drinkin' buddy and we got a party right there.

During really scary and stressful moments in life, what do you remind yourself of to stay strong and keep cool?

Usually when shit goes down, it’s instinctual. I’m in the moment and not really thinkin’ of much at all. After, I’d just walk it off with a cigarette or lock myself in a room with some Jet or something to get the heart-rate down. I guess If I died… it was my time, and that was it.

Since we’re doing the family thing though it’s fuckin’ different. I’ll tell ya that much. Soon as I get home, I go to pieces if I think I put you or the kids in danger. Yeah I do. You think I’d let you see that? See, now I said it, you’re gonna worry about me too, and now it’s a whole thing.

Socks on or off?

Off. Socks on if I wanna make ya laugh, but it’s kinda a mood killer.

Do you pay Ham, or is he just part of The Third Rail?

Haha he just came with the place. Nah, really, I paid him good money. He got extra if there was a lotta blood or some broken glass to deal with, to be honest he probably took home as much as Mags did.

You shoulda seen his apartment in Goodneighbor, he kept it all real neat and tidy, liked to keep stuff perpendicular.

Can you give Edward Deegan my number? I need someone to come fix my plumbing. Thanks, man.

Hah! He has been looking for work lately… what? You don’t trust in my DIY abilities? I can be a porn extra. That guy looks the part but he’s always so serious, he might even fix the pipes and not try to sleep with ya.

Why's the sky blue?

Because…is it sky uh, bacteria? Cloud…particles. Listen sugar, I can think of better and more naked ways to pass the time than tryin' to figure than out right now.

Will you hold me while I cry?

Hey, hey. Was I bein’ a jerk just now? What’s got you upset? No, you don’t gotta say a thing. C’mon let’s go sit down for a sec, over here. I gotcha. Yeah you get nice and comfortable on me. Just like that.

S’all gonna be okay, sunshine. I’ll always be here.

I'm sorry if I pass out on your shoulder; I'm just mentally wrecked…

Stay as long as you need. I live a long time, I mean I might need to go to the bathroom at some point…but - see? That’s the smile I fell in love with.

You go ahead and zone out.

What's your favorite kind of fight?

Gahh this is a tough question.

As a spectator I like the clumsy brawls with guys that don't usually throw hands, y’know? That just tickles me. As a participant though? Who doesn’t love a knife fight?

Let's blow up the Brotherhood balloon together.

Hell yeah! Let's go right now! Shaun has blueprints of the whole place, I got a bag packed and everything.

Fuck…I’m gettin’ all misty. Oh shit, don’t look at me right now, I didn’t expect to get emotional. Been wantin’ to do this for a long time…

Sunrise, or sunset?

Both. They're both romantic as hell, don’t ya think? Hey, wanna hang out on the beach this afternoon? I’ve been starin’ at that view for a while and I could use the company now I got it.

How do you get over your fear of the unknown?

Eh. It’s kinda like people. The unknown is only scary until you get to know it. You didn’t know me once and I ‘ain’t that scary now, am I?

But, other people still think so, right?

Good.

[fearowkenya]

Cold-blooded, ruthlessly efficient, and cruel in its methods. These are words that can be applied to an alligator, sizing up its target as it lurks beneath the surface and waits for the perfect opportunity to drag it into the depths. The same words can equally apply to Shuuji’s father, who never stops watching his every move, judging Shuuji for missteps he doesn’t even know he’s making as he tries to live up to unclear and impossible expectations.

Stressed, scared senseless, and operating entirely on adrenaline. These are words that can be applied to somebody attempting to escape from an alligator, desperate for a shred of hope. The same words can equally apply to a participant in a game of capture the flag, where one team’s lone survivor fights for their life in hopes that a singular small success will turn the tides.

Shuuji gets a weird text at the worst possible time. Ryo risks his neck for the sake of the team. There’s alligators.

yeah im not posting the entire fic under the readmore , im not prepared to spend another two hours of trial-and-error on formatting. anyway i have so much to say about digisurvive but im unfortunately not the type to talk about stuff unprompted until im much more confident n comfortable. instead i'll talk about the First Ficwriting Experience Since 2016

ive seen all four endings but i havent done what im calling my Victory Lap playthrough yet. what i mean by Victory Lap is that i got my guys at lvl 80+ and the only real purpose of going thru it all again is to see any early-game missed dialogue and take unnecessarily-meticulous character notes

im not about to claim to be a Blorbo Expert w a PhD or anything but i think ive got a pretty solid understanding of the bulk of the characters and can manage a pretty accurate portrayal . shuuji and ryo are definitely the easiest characters for me to write , and im anticipating that the same will be true for kaito. i cant say for certain tho since i havent explored his voice much yet but im more or less confident that i can do a good job

at first i was like oh god oh fuck i cant write aoi but i thought about it for 2 seconds and it turns out that uhhhhhhhh i was a lot like her when i was a teenager. the insecurities are exactly the same, it is so horrifyingly uncanny. so for me, saki is the one that i find the most difficult to characterize and i love that because it seems so deliberate. this girl DOES NOT want you to perceive her and is doing her best to ensure that you do not notice that she has anything to hide. if you are good at writing saki, i have a lot of respect for your tremendous power

but thankfully sakis presence in this is minimal so i dont have to worry about that just yet. what i AM worried about are my formatting choices. i think theres a lot of potential in fucking around with indentation, typeface, and text placement, so im taking a swing at trying to push it further than i have before. i think it can serve so well to imply when something is happening, what else is happening at the same time, and how it makes the characters feel without having to outright say so. i dont want it looking like a geronimo stilton book tho so i gotta learn to strike a balance lmao

SO much of the way i enjoy character portrayal comes from tone and nonverbal communication, especially really subtle stuff like eye movement and body language. i think it can be so challenging to write that stuff in a way that doesn't feel clunky or encumber the pacing. the thing im practicing right now is saying stuff without saying it, and also trying to improve my imagery & symbolic language. im having a lot of fun with it

mkay im actually late for work so i need to post this damn thing and move on my with my day. thanks for your time!!

[iamthecomet]

I have two fic ideas I'm working on.

One is the fic attached to the recent poll I did, where Swiss, Aether, and Rain will be getting up to some shenanigans, and the other is more Drywall with Dew wearing a habit again.

And I am debating tying them together somehow.

I'm thinking some kind of sex based ritual or something, I dunno.

I just think it would be funny if the boys accidentally unleashed a curse and panicked about it, only for Mountain and Dew to "fix the problem" unknowingly, like.

Could you imagine.

Your buddies are up to no good and unleash a horror movie style curse, and you just so happen to be getting it on, like, upstairs, and fulfill some ancient requirement of... I dunno, rawing it with a reckless abandon?

Like Mountain going, "Okay, okay, hear me out, we fuck on the ritual table they use to summon ghouls-"

I just... I don't know what kinda curse it's gonna be, and it can't be something to do with virginity, because that ship sailed for the ghouls looooong ago.

So yeah.

Hope the weather is nice where you are~

Oh... oh LAMP PLEASE DO THIS. Please I need Swiss, Aether and Rain accidently fucking something up BAD and Dew and Mountain unknowingly fixing it just because they decided to have some freaky sex right at that moment. Maybe it's just a sex ritual, right timing, right place. All you need to do to fix the problem is fuck nasty on the altar and everything is ALL good. Gotta spill some seed on sacred stone and problems solved like it's nothing. Laughing at the image of Rain and Swiss and Aether running around the Abbey in a panic and then everything just...going back to normal. And they're just...like "uhhhhhhhh" Meanwhile, Dew and Mountain have no idea what happens until the others tell them about it and they're like "Oh, ...oh....maybe that was us?" Please I need this it's so good.