#i gotta draw her with her priest soon

[pink-cubus]

The correct way to restrain a demon

[freswoe]

as always when i get Too Into a Thing i gotta make some ocs for it SO please put your hands together for:

The Birdcatchers, my fantasy high oc party! they’re currently level 12 juniors like the bad kids :D

(called the birdcatchers cause due to some shenaniganery and japes they spent their first day meeting each other while chasing after a flock of birds that had stolen their possessions)

OUR CAST:

Malory Clara Dorothy Eleanor Mildmay, (she/her), Warforged Storm Sorcerer. Basically an Enid Blyton/post-WW2 English boarding school girl dropped into an 80s American high school setting and is having a Bad Time. she is excessively polite, uses honourifics copiously, is deeply nervous and a very good liar. doesn’t talk much about her family.

Zeke Ambercrown, (he/him), Way of the Drunken Master Monk Satyr. very lithe jock kid, plays bloodrush, a lot smarter than he lets on. learnt the monk technique from his family, who love him dearly. lives at the Ambercrown brewery and enjoys experimenting with different fermenting processes to make new drinks - loves chemistry, but is willing to play the ‘dumb jock’ so he can be underestimated. following the events of their freshman year, zeke opened up the older, disused secondary brewery and worked to transform it into a place for everyone to live, work, and be safe.

Trib Ferrier, (they/them), Oath of Vengeance Goblin Paladin. very serious, and comes from a long line of Jesters. considered a disappointment to their lineage, they have instead taken on a blood oath against a rival house of dreaded Mimes to redeem themself in the eye of their family. picture the smallest goblin possible with Hugemassive eyes, the aura of a depressed businessman, and the attire of a court jester. bells and all.

Talaria (Tally) Beira, (she/her), College of Whispers High Elf Bard. tally is a prankster and a bit of a shithead, plays the bass as her channeling tool for her magic (resents being compared to Fig, as in Tally’s eyes she’s been playing the bass way longer than Fig). badly split-dyed hair, jean jacket, and missing half of one ear, she loves nothing more than planning out a good prank. despite this, she’s a terrible coward and is loathe to face consequences for her actions. she hates this part of herself but doesn’t know how to change it. but hey funny water bucket on door sick bass riff right!! haha that’s funny right!! right?

Orfeo Ravocrath, (he/him), Grave Cleric/Phantom Rogue White Dragonborn. despite being a six and a half foot tall white dragonborn wearing a black cowboy hat, orfeo is pretty hard to spot. when he wants to be seen, though, he’s seen - he’s got that southern charm, chill personality, and is also a perfect priest of death, and also seems to be the most popular of the birdcatchers. he’s a little bemused by this, as all he really wants is to go with the flow and doesn’t much care about popularity (which infuriates some of his party members to no end). rumour goes, though, that he’s not actually a cowboy - just a theatre kid who’s really, really method.

Rose Orry, (she/her), Ancestral Guardians Barbarian Tiefling. rose comes from a prestigious house of fashion designers, and she’s never seen without her signature sunglasses. she’s a classic mean bitch, vain about her appearance and prideful about her fashion designing talents, and the most annoying thing about her is that she’s actually really fucking good. beneath that bubblegum-pink, knife-sharp exterior, though, seems to be a normal high school student, forced to grow up too soon and terrified of never finding her true love.

these are the Greachurs and i love them dearly. might try to draw them soon <3 more of a ref post for me anyways

[hanawrites404]

Do u have favourite ocs from your mutuals? I know u like Farris but is there any more ocs u simp or like from other friends?

I'm glad you asked, Anon! But get ready because it's a lot uehehehehhe...

@aesopsbaby : I like all of their characters but my favourite has got to be Nathan. I dunno! I like that old-fashioned lover boy vibes lol. I would wanna see more of him.

@naciela : Sir, she is the queen of making hottest characters and this syndrome is so bad that I would have to name a whole list of family whom I like 😭. But for now, I would stick to two of her characters. That is, Li Shui and Raafa.

@kumaronoa : KAI!!!! KAI!!!!! KAI!!!!!

HE IS THE ICON! THE LEGEND! THE MOMENT HIMSELF!!!

and he has a free pass of stepping on me fr. Jen is a legend herself. Good art but also good characters?! Get a load of her!

@babufactory : They are also one of the artist friends whom I really enjoy. I have watched their streams and it's honestly a vibe jam. Of course, I would have to go with Nielh as my favourite. They are a very well-written and sexy character and I love that so damn much.

@boiling-potato : I'm very sorry but I seriously gotta mention the sweet potat herself, okay? Other than Farris, I also enjoy Luke and Cyrus. Talking about the girls, I absolutely adore Ink (and Lunie too. I miss her bitter face fr 😭)

@boundinparchment : Karina My Beloved, please marry me. I have a ring pop to offer~

I mean, yes! Juni's characters are very deep and likeable. I like how much love and effort she puts in all of her characters. It's very intresting and enjoyable to watch them through their stories how they bloom and wilt and bloom bigger than ever! If you are to search ‘character development' in urban dictionary, Juni's name is ought to be there.

@the-soupiest-artist : I!!! ABSOLUTELY!!! ADORE!!! HER!!!! CHARACTER!!! DESIGNS!!!!

There is just something about her art that really draws me in. It's not only the character development but also I love how enthusiastic Layne is! And honestly it would pain me to choose a favourite out of her characters. But if I'm very obliged to, I would take the horny bastard, Sebastièn.

@honey-para : That priest dude from the unholy trinity? He has my heart, sir. He can step on me and drown me in holy water, I will not complain.

Honey can take any fandom and turn it magically sexy by their bomb art, prove me wrong. They have literally sucked me in through their fandom content, it's addictive 😭!!!

@kerwixi : ANOTHER UNDERRATED ARTIST!!! I enjoy their works too!! They have cool character designs and colour schemes. I honestly like Navere the most. And since Fontaine is soon about to arrive, I anticipate him shining more!

@vodyaniks : Crow aesthetic? Check. Lovecraftian elderich horror? Check. The coolest artist around? Check!

Y'all have a full package of a super cool person right here, lovelies! Plus, they have a lot of OCs but my favourite is Maya (pls marry me).

I think that's all I can recall. If I have forgotten anybody, I'm very sorry AHH. If y'all are reading this, I LOVE Y'ALLS OCS AND EACH OF THEM GET A WEDDING RING POP FROM MEEEEEEE!!!!!

[verycharismaticdragon]

Got tagged by @thatlittlemouse to list 9 books I intend to read in 2022 (like a month ago but lets not dwell on that)

tagging uhhhhhh @seeorseem @danhoemei @izumiphoenix @fairandfatalasfair @snailcomicz if any of you guys want to give it a go!

MDZS - the only of MXTX's I didn't read before it went official, so I got an ebook version instead of physical copies like the other two. Stars however haven't been in position for me to start it yet.

Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov - so my bestie's Dostoevsky has been living on my bookshelf for... ten years?ish? and I figure someday I gotta actually get to reading it. I loved C&P when I was in high school, so I have some hopes.

A Sword of Frost by Yu Xiao Lan Shan - this is the only wuxia/gufeng novel of YXLS I've yet to read. Since YXLS tends towards lighter texts - like, her 'drama' (Tong Gui) is less heavy than pipi's 'easy' (You Yi) - I'm keeping this one for propping up my mental health next time I get tired of knifey stuff.

Character Design - my friends got me this baby for my bday last summer, but I've only read like three sections because studies take a lot out of me. I do want to work my way through it this year though.

Tai Sui - so we all know how I feel about priest (read 8 of her novels by now), and I've decided I wanna see her final form. Fully expect this one to rearrange me on a molecular level.

Drawing Hands & Feet by Giovanni Civardi - yet another book that has been living in my room, unread, for years. Idk where it came from actually? But anyway: while I'm pretty satisfied w/ the way I draw hands, I'm utterly plagued by leg trouble. Will it help? Who knows? I'd actually have to open it to find out though, which seems just unreasonable.

Qian Qiu - @izumiphoenix hiiiiiiii! Anyway, I've been recced this from all sides, and I've started it, but it's been slow going so far because uh. worldbuilding! politics! i wish i was getting all this info less densely!.. I assume I will eat this up as soon as the plot & character stuff picks up tho who knows.

(abridged version of) Journey to the West - I've read this one a while ago, but I'm very curious how I will see it after absorbing some cultural info from (modern) cnovels. I have considered trying the full version but reason won so far. And reading physical is easier on the eyes too, which is a huge plus for me...

Wushuang - due to my QQ troubles, I wonder if I should just start from the second book. Hey, that worked for me this far! (I've read TYK before Qi Ye and You Yi after nearly dropping ZJLY. Both times The Clowns have proven to be an easier entry point, and good motivation for finishing the other one.)

+bonus: ~Mystery Novels~ (1) an untranslated danmei novel that I've started but haven't finished yet, which will either be extremely good or I will regret ever picking it up. The plot twist that I've largely seen coming still managed to take me out at kneecaps, so it's promising! At the same time, I'm deeply afraid of the author failing to stick the landing on all of the (potentially) amazing stuff they've set up so far. The reason I'm not naming names here is that I want to be able to pretend I never picked it up if it turns out shite. (2) a novel by Mu Su Li - haven't decided which yet, but I loved Copper Coins, so I wanna read more by this author. Panguan seems like the most popular choice and was recced to me before; I'm also curious about Heitian, I've seen someone read it very tastily. (3) a novel by Cyan Wings - same as previous, I loved one of their novels (Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know) and want to read more. I know there are two translated by e.danglars, so perhaps I'll start with one of those.

[glytchfic]

We started as a spark. PART 2.

David Dastmalchian x Fem!Reader

Bonjour! There goes Part 2, it’s a bit longer than Part 1. Look, i was truly inspired, okay? Anyway, i’m letting you guys decide which Tom is it, it’s up to you - wink wink -. And I’ve decided to change the name of the story, it’s still from the same song but i thought it was more fitting. 

Special thanks to everyone who’s reading me, i really appreciate it. Comments, complaints, the usual!

PS: Since i’m pretty new to the whole Tumblr thing, can anyone explain to me how am i suppose to do a ‘read more’ option on my post so people who doesn’t want to read it don’t have to scroll for so long? lol, i feel stupidddddd.

Enjoy!

Rating: 18+

Warnings: slow burn, foul language, flirting, sexual tension, drinking, brief mention of marital problems. 

Inspired by the song False Alarm by Matoma and Becky Hills.

___________________________________________________________

‘How about this one?’

‘You are not gonna get laid in this one, trust me.’ my friend tells me.

‘What if, and it might sound totally crazy, I don’t wanna get laid?’ I say, amused.

‘At a wedding? Bullshit.’  

I laugh a bit and go back to my cabin to change again. I look at all the possibilities in front of me, pink puffy dress, green silk dress and a white dress. I scowl looking at the white dress. As if I would wear that to someone else’s wedding. I draw the curtains of the cabin, only in my underwear, and look at Alica.

‘I’m desperate. For the love of God, find me something.’ I whine.

‘Why do you care so much about this wedding anyway?’ she says as she browses through a bunch of dresses behind her.

‘David will be there.’

‘The guy who looks like a serial killer?’

‘He does not -’ I begin, walking towards her, ‘he’s a sweet guy.’  

‘And he’s married.’ she states.

‘Yes, he is.’ I mutter.

After a long silence, she gently slaps me on my arm, ‘Oh my god! Are you serious? I thought you didn’t sleep with married men!’

‘I don’t!’ I defend myself, ‘I just – I don’t know. I wanna be smoking hot at Sean’s wedding and the fact that David is there might or might not have a direct link to my desperate search for the perfect dress. We might never know.’ I say with a bit of sarcasm.

‘Sweetie,’ she puts her hands on my shoulders, ‘I’m sure he’s a fantastic guy, but don’t get too hyped about him. You’re gonna get yourself hurt.’ she says in a gentle tone.

‘I -’ I stammer, ‘Look, it’s just a dumb crush. I’ll be over it after a new one-night stand.’

‘Are you sure?’ she questions me.

‘Sure. I mean, yeah, I’d climb this guy like a fucking tree -’

‘You’re unbelievable.’ she cuts me off.

‘Buuuuuut -’ I motion to her to let me finish, ‘I can’t, and I won’t. I honestly think David and I can be good friends. Whether you believe me or not, I really do think that.’ I reassure her.

‘I do believe you, but please, just be careful. I’m telling you this because I care about you.’ she says while putting a strand of my hair behind my ear.  

‘I know and if you were in my shoes, I would be telling you the same thing.’ I smile at her.

‘I know.’ she smiles back.

I hesitate a few seconds, ‘So anyway, as I was saying: like a fucking tree -’ I joke and start laughing.

‘Oh my god!’ she throws a black dress at my face, ‘go try this one. Hopefully, it’ll help you get some.’

_

Car keys in hands, I lock my car and walk toward the ceremony. I put my keys in my purse and see I have a text message from Alica wishing me good luck for the evening and all. I text back a simple ‘Thanks, love you xx’ and I put in back in my purse. I stop in front of the door, and I observe my surroundings. I see a few faces I recognize, and they wave at me. I wave back and smile at them. This event won’t be that bad. I’ll probably run into lots of people I know – from the industry – that I haven’t seen in a long time. Good opportunity to catch up.

‘Wow! You look beautiful!’

I hear a familiar voice and turn around. I see Daniela – Melchior, aka Ratcatcher 2 – trotting towards me. She opens her arms; I do the same and we hug each other more tightly than I thought we would. I really do enjoy Daniela’s presence, but she lives in Portugal and only come to the USA from time to time for the pre-production of the film so I haven’t had the chance to get to know her as much as I would have liked.

‘I didn’t think you would be here!’ I say, surprised.

‘Me neither, but James convinced Warner Bros to pay for my plane ticket and told them it was work related.’ she says, excited.

I laugh, ‘Of course he did that.’

I’ve known James for years and I would’ve been surprised if he hadn’t arranged for Daniela to be here for his brother’s wedding. James is always like that; he wants to create a sense of family with his crew, and no one is left behind.  

‘I’m so nervous.’ Daniela says quietly.

‘How come?’

‘I don’t know anyone here except for the Suicide Squad gang.’ she muttered, looking down.

‘Hey, gotta start somewhere, right?’ I gently put my hand under her chin, and I slowly raise her head. ‘don’t worry about anything, we got you.’ I wink at her, and a beautiful smile appears on her face.

‘Thanks.’

Daniela is, by far, the youngest of the group. She’s barely 23 years old, she’s from Portugal, English is not her first language, and The Suicide Squad is her first big international role. I remember the first time I saw her, she looked so intimidated being surrounded by all of us, but she’s learning so fast and I can’t wait to see what she’ll give us once we’re on set.

‘Let’s go, it’ll probably starts soon.’ I wrap a protective arm around her, and we walk through the front door.

_

‘I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!’ the priest exclaims.

Sean grabs Nathasha – now officially his wife – by her waist and they kiss each other passionately. Everyone stands up and applauds to congratulate the newly married couple. Daniela grabs my arm, all excited by Sean and Nathasha walking down the aisle. I look at them, a huge smile on my face, and something – someone – caught my attention in the background.

‘What are you looking at?’ Daniela questions me, ‘hey look, David is over there!’ she says pointing in his direction.

Oh, poor child, if only you knew. Everyone starts following the married couple down the aisle and Daniela gently grabs my hand so we can’t get separated. Walking through this crown of Sean and Nathasha’s friends, Daniela and I find the exit and get there just in time to see the newly married couple leaving the place to go to the reception. I smile as I look at the car disappearing from my sight, I turn around towards Daniela and I freeze, my smile slowly fading away.

‘What’s the matter?’ Daniela asks, worried.

She follows my gaze and sees what I was looking at. David walking towards us, hand in hand with his – I assume – his wife. He waves at us and Daniela waves back at him while I’m still not moving. This shouldn’t be a surprise really. It makes perfect sense that he’s at a wedding ceremony with his wife and – fucking hell – she's pretty.

‘Hi, I’m Evelyn!’ she says with enthusiasm.

And she seems so nice. And has a good vibe. And they look like a great couple. And – fuck – I feel horrible for all the thoughts I’ve had – and still have – about her husband in the last two months. Daniela, still holding my hand, looks between me and her a few times and squeezes my hand a bit as if she was comforting me. I can hear them make small talk about the wedding and all, but I’m not paying attention. I see David trying to catch my gaze, but every time I either look at Daniela or his wife. I feel like such a spoiled brat, I shouldn’t be affected that much by this. I don’t want to marry him goddamn it, I just wanna – but I won’t - have sex with him. It’s just an attraction. A deep, intense and consuming attraction, but still an attraction, nonetheless. Why am I like this?  

‘Are you okay?’ Daniela asks, still worried.

I don’t answer as I look David and his wife walking towards their car, probably on their way to the ceremony. Daniela put her other hand on my back and hugs me a little.

‘I know what it feels like.’ she simply whispers close to my ear.

‘What do you mean?’ I mutter, getting back to reality.

‘I have been there before. It will be fine, trust me.’ she hugs me a bit tighter.

I turn my head towards her, and she gives me a warm smile.

‘Is it really that obvious?’

She laughs, ‘Come on, we have to go.’

Fuck, she knows.

_

Drink in hand, I’m on the dance floor with Daniela and we’re giving everything we have. Screaming the lyrics to the Icona Pop song ‘All Night’, she takes my free hand, and we start spinning, laughing and stumbling around. The last note of the song echoed on the dance floor, and I look at Daniela, out of breath.

‘How long have we been here? Jesus.’ I say catching my breath.

‘Long enough for this guy at the bar to completely undress you with his eyes.’ she subtly points me the direction with her chin.

I turn around to see the handsome stranger and I chuckle a bit. It’s no stranger, I know this guy. I look at Daniela as I finish my drink, I put it on the table next to us and I wink at her before leaving.

‘Hey Tom.’ I say seductively.  

‘Good evening, gorgeous.’ He flirts back in his English accent.  

Tom and I aren’t at our first ride together. We have history together, nothing serious really, but we do appreciate each other a lot. And he’s a good fuck, there I said it. For what feels like hours – who knows how long – we catch up, flirt, have a few drinks, hands wandering here and there. I feel myself getting more and more tipsy as the minute goes by. As Tom was whispering sweet nothings in my ear, something else caught my attention a bit far away. David and his wife, talking. They both move their hands a lot. Oh. I’m an idiot. They’re arguing. Not the ‘imma-scream-and-make-a-scene’ type of argument, but you can clearly see something is going on. After a few minutes, they both seem to have calm down. David put his hand on Evelyn’s hips and tries to kiss her, but she turns her head away, kissing her cheek instead. She gives him a weak smile and leaves. David sighs, rubs his forehead and walks towards the bar.

‘Tom, could you give me a moment, please? I think my friend’s not feeling good.’ I say, worried.

‘Of course, darling.’  

I get up and finally realize that I’m a bit more drunk that I thought I was, but nothing too crazy. I’ve seen worse, way much worse. I stabilize myself and walk towards the other bar where David was sitting all by himself, leaning his forehead against the palm of his left hand as the other was mindlessly scrolling on his phone.  

‘What is a handsome place like this doing in a man like you?’ I say, thinking I’m incredibly funny.

He turns around to look at me, a weak smile on his lips.

‘That was dumb as fuck, I’m sorry. Can -’ I sit down next to him, ‘can I buy you a drink or something?’

‘That’s very nice of you, but I don’t drink.’ He simply says.

‘Oh.’

I look around, a bit awkward. Even though there’s loud music playing permanently, it feels like there’s a heavy silence between us. I decide to stay right next to him and I start scrolling on my phone too.

‘You don’t have to do this, you know.’ He mutters.

‘Oh, I insist! S’cuse me, sir -’ the barman turns towards me, ‘can I have two glasses of water pretty please?’ the barman nods.

‘You’re unstoppable, aren’t you?’ Another weak smile appears on his lips.

‘Always. So -’ the barman puts down the glasses in front of us, ‘you wanna talk about it?’ I risk myself.

‘Not really, actually.’ He sighs.

‘It’s perfectly fine! So, hmm, ah yes! I watched this horror movie the other day, I’m sure you would have love it! There’s this girl, y’know? She slept with a guy she went on a movie date with. After their sexy time this asshole fucking drugs her with – what's it called – that liquid they use on washcloths in movie to make people fall asleep and kidnap them?’

‘Chloroform.’ He chuckles.

‘This! Yes! So anyway, she falls asleep and when she wakes up, she’s tied up on a chair! And then there’s this weird looking naked woman walking towards the girl and turns out this woman is actually a ghost now chasing the girl and the guy slept with her because you can pass this ghost curse through sex. Can you fucking believe that?’

‘I cannot believe it.’ He says, clearly amused.

‘Does it make sense? Should I stop? Sorry, I’ve been drinking tonight.’ I say, a bit embarrassed.

‘No, no! Please, tell me more.’

And I keep babbling about the movie It Follows and as I go, I realize that most of the things I say don’t make any sense at all, but as long as David keeps smiling and laughing, I’ll just keep going. At one point of the story, he bursts out laughing which makes me smile so much that my jaw is almost hurting.  

‘There it is. That smile.’ I simply say.

Hu blushes, ‘Thanks.’

We look at each other for a few seconds and I motion him to drink water, which he does. I do the same and I almost choke on my water when I hear ‘Dance With Me Tonight’ by Olly Murs starts playing. I put down my glass and take David by the arm with enthusiasm.  

‘That’s my song, come on David!’ I pull on his arm.

He laughs and I can feel him letting himself go. He follows me on the dance floor, and I start dancing, encouraging him. He looks around, with a small smile on his lips and he looks back at me, rubbing his neck with his hand. I reach out to him, and he grabs my hands. Laughing and moving around, we can’t stop looking at each other as we’re having the time of our life. I suddenly stop when I feel a hand – not David’s - on my shoulder.

‘I was looking everywhere for you, darling.’ he says slipping his hand down my back, ‘I’m Tom.’ he stares at my partner.

‘David.’ he simply answers.

‘I’m going back to my place, darling. Care to join me?’ he gets closer to me.

Still holding David’s hand, I look between him and Tom, unsure of myself. I glance at David who gives me a reassuring smile. I know he wouldn’t be mad at me. I mean, I do wanna get laid. But.

‘Sorry, Tom. I’m staying.’ I say confidently as I feel David’s hands gently squeezing mine.

‘Oh, I see.’ he bends towards me and kiss me on the temple, ‘call me, okay?’

I nod and watch him leave the place. I exhale deeply and turn back towards David who has a cheeky smile on his face. He rubs my hand a little bit with his thumbs, and he laughs.

‘Did I just cock-blocked you?’

‘I think you did.’ I laugh back.

He hesitates, ‘It’s not too late if you want to join him.’ he says looking in the direction Tom left.

‘No! I -’ I cut him off, ‘I’d rather stay here.’ I say under my breath.

He smiles, ‘Where were we?’ he starts dancing again.

_

Quoting our favorite movies, David and I are walking down my street. I would be lying if I said I was still drunk, I’m not. I haven’t had a drink since I went to see David at the bar, but I don’t feel like I need the effect of alcohol to enjoy myself right at this moment.  

‘You didn’t have to walk me home, y’know?’ I shiver.

‘I know, but I wanted to.’ hey says as he wraps his jacket around my shoulders.

I blush and look down at my feet. We walk down the rest of the street in a comfortable silence and I’m here, wondering what would happen next if he wasn’t married. I push those thoughts away as I see my apartment complex in front of me.

‘Home sweet home.’ I sigh, not wanting this night to ever end.

‘Home sweet home, indeed.’ he replies, ‘look,’ he hesitates a few seconds, ‘thank you for tonight. I truly mean it.’ he says with a warm smile.

I feel my heart beating faster, ‘Anything for you, David.’

He looks down, bites his lips and looks back at me, ‘I forgot to tell you,’ he gets closer, ‘you looked lovely tonight.’ he gently takes back his jacket from my shoulders.

I catch my breath, ‘Thanks.’

‘Sweet dreams.’ he whispers.

‘Good night.’ I whisper back and he smiles.

He turns around and starts walking again. I look at him for a few seconds before I enter my apartment complex with a sigh of – I don’t know – frustration or relief, I wouldn’t be able to say which one.

‘Are you okay, miss?’ Alexander, the night shift lobbyist, asks me.  

‘Yes, I’m fine.’  

No, Alexander, I’m not fine. My core is throbbing, my heart is racing, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this fucking horny.  

[hongism]

Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3

[yamithediaperdork]

Cutest widdle champion part 2

To say the last 24 hours of Umbraby's life had been interesting would be a understatement. Having gone from one of the most handsome and dashing Starlit angel knights in service of his god he was now now basically a toddler and was learning to deal with the enhanced powers his new form gifted him with, as well as the limits and draw backs.

He was stronger then before of course but that came with a lost of reach, His flying skills were vastly improved and he was a aerial ace now but that had come with a lose of speed and balance while on the ground, due to his new stubby legs and well the thick massive diapers his Goddess (Who insisted on being referred as mommy now, a term and arrange he was rapidly warming up to) had made clear he needed.

As a godly force he had never learned to use the potty and in such a small body well, let's just say he had gone though more then a couple of diaper changes. (he wasn't keeping count though Mommy was, but she was nice and didn't bring it up.)

The other Starlit angel's, those that reminded loyal to their diminished goddess had been confused when she had invited them to meet her new champion. Quick beat, the second in command asking if she was allowed to just abduct a helpless little boy from the mortal plain, and asking if Allimir had been made aware of this.

upon finding out the former head of the knights had been given a promotion and was in fact the cute widdle guy being cradled by the goddess and being bottle fed, all worries were addressed and some chuckles rang out among the knights, as well as comments about how adorable and cute the former captain was.

"Congratulations on your promotion friend. You deserve." Quick beat said, smiling widely and while there was hint of teasing in it, the other angel meant it, and even offered to take over feeding his friend.

well fed and a diaper change later, Lulnyq didn't want there to be any doubts that her chosen form for the new champion was a mistake and also wanted to give her cute widdle champ a chance to adept to combat in his adorable new body and so arranged a series of matches between the starlit angels as Umbraby sat in her lap, sucking his thumb with the winners of each match then getting a chance to spar with the former captain.

Umbraby naturally struggled with the first few matches but before long was dominating the fights, even the one against the now captain of the guard quick beat and sharing a hearty handshake with his friend, a awesome moment somewhat marred by the fact that Umbraby had started to soil himself again and cried for mommy.

deemed ready for his mission he was escorted by Mommy and all his 'brothers and sisters' as he saw them now, Clad in his heroic champions grab and playing with his cloak as mommy worked to prepare a portal to take him to the exact location where her three worshipers were waiting.

"i didn't have a temple in the area the tournament is being held, but the three children you'll be meeting know everything about you and were more then willing to host you. they know about your 'needs' and don't mind handling that so make sure your on your best behavior." Mommy was saying, kneeling down and putting her hands on his shoulders and trying to ignore the soft comments about her ample backside coming from the other starlit angels. "Your representing mommy..heck all of us." She added and kissed Umbraby's forehead.

Maybe it was his small size, maybe it was he'd never actually left the realm before, but Umbraby suddenly felt more like Allimir, as in less of a champion and wanted to cry and toss his arms around his goddess, his mommy and beg to stay. to offer up the role of champion to anyone else.

Mommy clearly could see what he was thinking and gave him anther kiss , this time on his cheek. "You'll be ok little champion. I stocked everything you'll need in your cloak, and you can call upon them as needed. in fact the cloak itself can shape change into a soft and warm blankie should you find yourself missing us."

Reach into the cloak herself she pulled out a soft and cute bat stuffie and offered it to her scared widdle champion who hugged it and seemed to draw courage from it.

"There's a book in there about the other god's and their champions, more about the rules, Your weapon Night Blade and of course the most important thing.." And she paused and winked before finishing. "Lots and LOTS of extra diapers." She giggled and tickled his tummy.

Allimir blushed and went to argue, but one does not merely ignore the tickles of a mommy, let alone a goddess.

with some last words of encouragement from his brothers and sisters, and a last second diaper check from mommy, Allimir/Umbraby took a big breath and stepped into the portal, not quite sure what to expect.

Dwere nibbled on her lip, checking a wall clock. The goddess had said to expect the champion half a hour ago and she couldn't be out of bed much longer as it was nearing the nightly bed check.

14 year's old and average size for her age, she had her long brunette hair loose around her shoulders and was in a light black nightgown with it being so late.

She was a priestess in training at the wayward soul's Orphanage and the only worshiper of the night goddess in the city (or for a good 400 miles around at that)

As a priestess she wanted to be there when Allimir arrived and greet him but at the same time while some of the non priests or priestesses in training were given more leeway on night time wandering (it still wasn't smiled upon) it was a very big nay nay.

"I hope he shows up soon, oh gosh, what if he doesn't show up!? Those papers i forged will be left with no child to prove an-" she started to whine and then suddenly the back of her nightie was lifted and her modest white bloomers were suddenly yanked up between her cheeks and Dwere had to clamp her hands over her mouth to keep from shrieking.

"Relax will ya, he'll git here when he git's here!" Giggled the prankster of the gathered gathers, A dirty blond 4 year old who hair was cut short because she loved to play in the dirty and would get tangled with leaves and the like and this just saved time.

Vivi was her name, and unlike the girl ten years her senior she was clad in just layers of faded white cloth diapers, secured with a oversized safety pin.

She was yanked out from under the nightie by the third and final member of the group, who was chuckling softly and trying and failing to scold Vivi.

Dressed in a pair of tight olive green shorts and a faded white top, his hair was in a semi mohawk and was light grey, contrasting with his light grayish skin as a half drow.

"Vivi, I think we've had this talk before, you can't -snk- just go around yanking on peoples undies." Selen scolded, picking her up and cradling the four year old in his strong despite his slim frame arms.

Dwere turned around, fire in her eyes and Vivi say the wisdom in seeking shelter in the arms of the slightly girlish half drow.

"Gosh, I'm Sooooo sorry Dwere." Vivi said, the words and tone making you think she was but the HUGE grin on her face as the oldest of the three (Selen being 7) glared and yanked at her crack.

And wouldn't you know it, with her back to the area where the champion was suppose to show and a hand digging at her wedige, the portal opened and out came Allimir, who paused for a moment, watching Dwere and tilting his head, then rubbed the back of his head.

"Uh.. Is that how you greet people on the mortal plain?" he asked cutely, and started to turn around and grab at his behind.

"NO!"

One misunderstanding explained later, and introductions made, Allimir had lots of other questions for the trio even as he hugged his stuffie and looked around the room.

"ok..First question.what's with all the mini prison beds in the room and that large table over there?" he asked, pointing at cribs and then a changing table.

"heh, never seen a nursery before?" Vivi asked. "It's where diaper butt like you n me sleep! Those are called cribs, and that's a changing table where they can put you while changing yer diapies." Vivi said, then after a second added. "Oh you'll be bunking with me by the way, but don't think you'll ever out do me when it comes to booms!"

"Vivi! we do NOT challenge a champion of our goddess to a boom boom contest!" Dwere hissed, not for the first time wishing there was a minimal age requirement to worship the goddess.

"Though you gotta admit that would be cute to watch.. from a distance." Selen chimed in.

"I'm sure that the champion of the goddess does NOT go boom boom th-" Dwere started and then was cut off.

"Actually I'm open to any and all challenges, and I was told I was a super duper big boomer by mo- I mean my goddess and fellow Starlit angels." Allimir chimed in and smiled.

"..Can we PLEASE try and get off the topic of boom boom diapers?" Dwere asked, face palming.

"ehehehe sorry. Ok, why so many beds when it's just the three of you, and are you two diapered as well?" Allimir asked, thinking this was just the three kid's home.

"Oh sweetie, this is a orphanage. a nice and open one that that offers training in priest and priestess's and offers training for any religion. they keep a big nursery because you can never be sure HOW many babies they'll have in here. Normally most of the kids here are potty trained by 2 or three at the latest bu-" Selen was explaining when Vivi cut him off

"But who wants to give up AWESOME diapies n' being able to just go whenever fer icky undies and having to sit on a smelly potty?" Vivi giggled.

"..what's a potty?" Allimir asked. " I just learned about getting rid of body waste like, 24 hours ago.."

"And now you being in diapers makes sooo much sense." Dwere said, then wrinkled her nose as a smell started to fill the nursery. "Speaking of.. ok which one of you?"

"heh, if it was ME ya would know it." Vivi said and winked, turning around and wiggling her butt and slapping it.

Allimir meanwhile was hiding his face in his plushie and whining softly.

"I'll handle changing him, you better get moving double time Dwere, it's almost bed check." Selen said, nodding at a clock and goiving over to the changing table, then frowning as he looked in the compartment for diapers.

"oh uh.. yeahhh they hafa wash more diapies because I kinda you know.." Vivi said said sheepishly.

"We CAN NOT leave a champion in stinky diapers!" Dwere whined, panicking and getting ready to offer her Nightie for the cause when Allimir chimed in.

"it's s'ok, I got this." he said, setting his Bat plushie down and then reaching into his cloak as the three mortal watched, eyes going big as saucers and he pulled out a spare diaper. "Mommy looks after me!" he beamed happily.

with the with the champion changed and Vivi seeing she had some serious competition in the nursery, the champ and the brat were put in her crib and quickly conked out, Allimir sucking on his thumb and hugging his stuffie while Vivi hugged a silver fox plushie, though instead of sucking on her own thumb she was sucking on Allimir's.

Dwere made it back to her own room just in time and had to explain why she was so out of breath and getting a lecture on proper behavior for young girls, but otherwise was left alone with cheeks burning red.

Selen was spotted in the halls and started to get a semi lecture on wandering the halls before saying he heard some of the little ones crying and wanted to help out and changed the diapers. Thankful to not have to do the dirty deed themselves, the caretakers who'd caught him let him go with a pat on the head and telling him what a good boy he was.

All was calm and good, at least until the next morning.

Vivi couldn't be sure exactly what time it was, having not bothered to learn how to read anything as of yet, but she was woken up by the panicked screams and whimpers of terror of Allimir and sat up in their crib, rubbing a eye and basking in the morning sunlight.

Despite the crib rail still being up, she was alone in the crib, and as she listened, she could make out the cry's of terror from UNDER the crib and pulled herself up, JUST too short to get out of the crib on her own.

"Allimir? Buddy? what's wrong?" She called out, trying to get her face between the bars so she could look down, though the bar's were JUST too close together.

"S-Something awful and strange is happening! it's some sort of energy attack or something!" Allimir Cried out.

"Huh? I don't see anything.." Vivi said, turning her head towards the window.

All she saw was a bright and sunny day out.

"But..but..it's so bright out there!! What's going on!?!" Allimir whined and whimpered, choking back a sob of terror and doing something else, as the smell reached Vivi.

Ironically it was as the funk reached her it clicked what was going on.

"Heh..hehehehehehehe Allimir that's called daylight. didn't you have that back home?" She giggled, thinking of how silly it was. "Daylight can't hurt you..well as long as your not out in it too long." Vivi added, thinking of the time she had played outside all day and gotten wicked sun burn.

The sniffles slowed down and Allimir slowly came into view, coming out from under the bed and locking his tear filled eyes with Vivi's amused ones.

"Y-You promise?" he asked, hovering in the air, making his diaper droop more then it normally would of as he hiccuped and ran a arm across his eyes.

"Swear by the goddess." Vivi said and gave him a warm smile, then added "but you better get your stinky butt back in here, if a caretaker find your hovering that's gonna be all SORTS of questions."

Allimir nodded slowly and floated back into the crib, though he made a grossed out face as he plopped down on his muddy back side, Just in time as the door opened and in came one of the adults.

"Oh great..anther stinker.. as if there weren't enough of them in here." The balding older man said, rolling his eyes.

"heh, G'morning ta you took Kalect!" Vivi giggled, then turned to Allimir. "That's Kalect and he's the one who gets the pleasure of wiping our BUTTS!"

Hearing the utter delight in Vivi's voice and seeing the older human frown, Allimir couldn't help but break into a fit of toddlerish giggles.

One series of diaper changes later and Allimir was trying to get used to the outfit he'd been dressed in, Mortal clothing was just so weird!

his own clothes had been taken away to be washed,save for the cloak which he had turned into a blankie and the caretaker let him keep with him at least.

but bow he was in a pair of grayish white socks, a white diaper shirt and a pair of shortalls over them, and was trying to adjust to the mortal diapers that just didn't feel right on his sensitive booty and had him wiggling like he had ant's in his pants. (he hadn't told to take out extra diapers when he'd gotten his change the night before and a look from Vivi told him that offering one now might not be a good idea)

"How are you not bugged by how rough this material is!?" Allimir whined for the forth time as Vivi in just her diapers (they had given up long ago on trying to dress her for the most part) snugged.

"I never knew anything else. but hey, your a CHAMP right?" She said, putting a arm around him and pulling him in. "You gotta get used to a little discomfort."

"Ngggh.. I suppose that tr.." Allimir trailed off, as his nostrils flared and then he covered his nose and gagged."whats that awful stench!?! I thought a poopie diaper was bad!" he cried out.

"Heh, this is where all the stupid big kids go tinkle and boom boom. it's called a bathroom." Vivi explained then added. "and NOW you see why I just go in mah diapie."

"Really, I thought that's just because you like tormenting other people." Selen said, coming out and smirking, and getting a raspberry blown at him but no denial from Vivi.

"How's my favorite little pamper packers?" he asked, Bending a knee and drawing both of the diaper butts in for a big hug.

"Eh, We're ok..Right Allimir?" Vivi said the asked, she had agreed to keep his little fit to herself to help him save face.

"Uhh yeah! Totally! no crying fits or hiding under the crib here!" Allimir said, blushing and giving a shaky grin, and making Selen raise a eyebrow.

"where's Dwere?" Vivi asked, trying to change the topic.

"oh she got roped into helping make the morning portage to teach her purity or something like that." Selen said and shrugged. "Anyways, ready for your first taste of mortal food little guy?"

"Yeah!" Allimir said, giggling and holding up his arms to be carried.

To be continued

[thawte-wills]

Memories of Faith (the beginning)

"You can't just leave!"

An outspoken little girl stood on the front steps of the Sandpoint Chapel while yelling at an older man. She stood on one of the highest steps, just to look him in his eye (Or at least as close as possible). Beside her, another little girl was holding onto her hand while bawling her eyes out.

Periodically people of all types would come out of the house of worship; more than most being people of the cloth peeking out of the front doors at the two 'new acolytes'.

"We're just kids! You're our dad, you can't just leave us here!"

A soft shushing sound reverberated from the door as it opened to show a bald man with a white beard cooing lightly. The outspoken little girl turned with fury on her face, angered that an adult dare speak to her like a child; but ignored it when she realized the soft words were for her crying little sister.

As she continued to yell at her father; the bald man spoke to the little girl crying. "Hello there, little one. Things seem to be quite loud out here, would you want to see some of the pretty drawings in this chapel?" Doing her best to choke back tears and wipe them away, the little girl looked to her sister for a second, and the louder of the two nodded back to her as they loosened their grips.

The old man scooped the girl in his arms, getting a thankful look from the dejected father as the priest cradled the girl and walked inside. "My name is Ezakien Tobyn. You may call me Father Tobyn. What is your name?"

"F-Fay-'Ith." The little girl replied, making sure to split her name in half like her father taught her, as she wiped away the last of her tears. "You're a father?" The man seemed to walk with a purpose, yet whenever the girl paid attention to his steps it seemed like he was doing little more than wandering

"I'm a father to everyone of any religion. But I do have a little one of my own, about your age. I'm sure you'll be the best of friends. Her name is Nualia." "That's a pretty name." "So is yours, Faith." With a few less sniffles, she corrected him, "Fay-'Ith Father Tobyn" "Ah, right, right. Here we are now"

As the little girl looked away from the dark amber eyes of Father Tobyn, she looked to see multiple murals drawn decorating many different figures.

A taldan man decked in golden armor with multiple gold keys at his side, coins and scales decorating the empty space with a golden key behind him; An elven woman clothed in a delicate and translucent gown with butterfly wings, with stars and butterflies decorating around her; An ulfen man with elk horns with a branch-like bow, with decorations of the wild around him; A mwangi pair connected, a weathered old man with a long white beard and a young and beautiful woman with wild green hair, framed by clouds and waves; A bronze angelic beauty with golden hair composed of flowing flame with light filling the space around her; and an amazingly beautifully drawn woman with bright eyes of a blueish silver with a long glaive.

"Of these, do you see one you like?" "The beautiful woman looks nice.. and I like the angel girl! But the butterfly woman is the prettiest to me. I like her wings" "I like her too. Her name is Desna, she's one of many gods. All of them are good gods to follow, but maybe you'll end up walking a path like mine as a part of her flutter." The little girl's eyes would light up as she turned to look at the old man in surprise. "You're a butterfly person?! I wanna be one too!"

"My my, sounds like you've made a disciple out of her already, Father. Soon we'll have our own personal kaleidoscope, no?" "Ah, Brother Zantus; This is Fai—" The wise priest caught the eye of the little girl making a face at him, "Fay'Ith. She seems to favor Desna, just like both of us!" "Well little Fay'Ith, if you ever want to know any of her stories, don't hesitate to ask me. But Religion is hard work. Things always work out if you try your hardest. You just gotta have faith."

The little girl frowned at the acolyte's sour joke and shook her head at the bad pun. "I suppose I was testing my luck with that one, then." Brother Zantus gave a chuckle and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly at his jest. "Well, back to the studies then, gotta stock up on stories in case our new butterfly ever gets curious!"

As he'd walk away, Faith would say quietly to Tobyn, "He's silly. I like him though." "He's also one of my favorites. When its time for me to step down, I think I may make him the Head Priest after me." "And what about after him?" "After he's an old man and ready to step down too? Who knows, maybe even you, little Fay'Ith." "I don't know if I could be a Head Priest." Father Tobyn would chuckle to himself, "Well, I guess you've gotta have faith."

Hearing the pun again, Faith would stick her tongue out at the Priest playfully.

[dovechim]

Power Play (m)

⇥ written as part of the Lights, Camera, Action! pornstar collab ⇤

➾ 27.6k 

➾ warnings: degradation/ humiliation, unprotected sex, creampies, cum eating, thigh riding, ass play, spitting, mentions of religion (porn scene involving a Catholic priest and school girl- please skip over if this offends you!), mentions of impregnation

➾ a/n: thank you so much to my deli fairy @jimlingss for hearing me out when i was ranting about how hard it was to write this. you gave me so much inspiration and motivation to write, and this fic would not be here without you :D @parkmuse you are the absolute mvp for offering to beta read this monster. thank you for validating me when i needed it TT i know you’ll just nut over this so enjoy ;-) and of course!!!! @winetae I'm so happy and grateful to be a part of this collaboration 😭 im honoured to be able to fulfil your porn star dreams :”D 

happy valentine’s day 🌹❤️ 

please do check out the other lovely writers in the collab too!!

➾ summary: You know him as the A lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.  

“Longer thrusts, we want to see that cock sliding in and out, and more power please,” the director calls out as Jimin grunts mid thrust. “And watch your expression! You look like you’re fucking a garbage disposal. Get it together, Park!”

Sweat is pouring down his face as he gathers the last bit of his strength to push his co-star’s legs up onto his shoulders. Below him is one of his fellow A listers, the hottest, most on demand porn star in the industry. Everything from Sana’s bouncing, voluptuous breasts to her tiny squeaks and moans should serve as motivation for him and help him to perform his best, but there’s somehow… something lacking.

He’d been wanting to work with Sana for the longest time ever, even his manager was enthusiastic about two top A-listers coming together (no pun intended), but looking down at her now, it’s blatantly obvious that he isn’t as physically attracted to her as he thought.

“Cut, makeup team please,” the director motions for a touchup to be done, and Jimin groans as he pauses his thrusts and a few stylists fuss with his hair and his face. The sweat is carefully sponged off his forehead, the shading on his abs touched up a little, and being in this position, with this many strangers crowding around him nearly makes him go soft inside Sana’s pussy.

“You okay?” Sana frowns in concern as she can feel him start to slide out of her, gripping him with her walls tighter.

Jimin brushes aside her concern with a nod, just as the director calls for them to resume, and he starts pumping his hips into her again, driving deep with every thrust. Something he’s doing must be right, since the director is calling for close up shots and urging him to go faster and harder.

“Money shot in two minutes, Park please get ready,” the script writer reminds him somewhere from behind, and he grunts low in his throat, reaching down to wrap his hands around Sana’s waist to pull her onto his cock more firmly. “When you’re ready, pull out till just the tip. We want a nice big creampie there, tell us if you need the backup…”

Jimin forces himself to go harder, feeling his balls tighten up as he tries to cum on command, something he’s never had trouble with since the beginning of his career. He’s practically built his entire reputation as a porn star on creampies and facials, not to mention he knows he looks like sin incarnate when he throws his head back while he cums.

“Oh fuck, yes,” Sana gasps under him, and when her walls flutter around him, it occurs to Jimin that she’s not acting right now, she’s actually about to cum around him. “Pl-lease cum inside me, I want your cum so bad, fill my pussy up.”

Her passionate moans make her scripted lines even more believable, this is why she’s an A-lister, because she actually enjoys having sex on camera. Hearing her beg for his cum is almost enough to push him over the edge, just almost. But today he needs just a little bit more, so he squeezes his eyes shut and calls to mind a random image from his wank bank.

The first thing that comes to mind is a red plaid skirt under him and his hands around a waist, translucent white shirt stretched tight over small, perky breasts. His gaze travels up to her neck, and just almost reaches her face before—

“Fuck,” Jimin swears under his breath, hopefully disguising it as a grunt of pleasure when he realises that he doesn’t have the money shot today, too distracted by the suddenness of that mental image. He makes a discreet gesture behind his back, hidden from the camera, and that’s when one of the assistants steps in with a tube in between his spread legs.

The tube goes below his cock and inserted shallowly unto Sana’s pussy, so when Jimin groans and jerks himself off with one hand, the assistant pumps the lube up into the tube, making it seem as if Jimin had just blown his load. He feels the lube surround the head of his cock as he attempts a few small thrusts to spread it around a little, make it more realistic, before pulling out.

The fake cum that drips from Sana’s pussy looks far too realistic, that even Jimin himself is amazed. He spreads her lips with both fingers to show the camera the thick white liquid leaking from her, playing with her clit and coating it with the mixture as he rubs her to a final orgasm that makes her walls clench around nothing, squeezing out even more of the fake cum onto the mattress.

And then he moves off the bed as the camera zooms in for the last frame as Sana spreads her legs wide to show off her creamed pussy, fingers dipping into the mess and then licking it clean with her tongue, giggling as she licks her lips.

“Cut!” The director draws the final scene to a close, and just in time too, because Jimin’s cock is going soft even though he didn’t even cum.

Sana flashes him a smile in thanks as she sits up to peer in between her legs, and a few assistants help her to clean up.  

“Hey, you okay?” Manager Sejin hurries over to bring him his robe and a wet wipe, and Jimin shrugs it on silently, swiping half-heartedly at his thighs just to go through the motion of it all before he ties his robe closed and runs a hand through his sweaty hair, adamantly turning his back towards the director who is still talking with a few set assistants and script writers.

Not a few minutes later, the director strides over with a few script writers and exchanges a few laughs and jokes with Sejin, and Jimin is forced to turn around as well.

“The famous Park Jimin, what a show stopper,” he grins, slapping Jimin on the shoulder a few times with a huge grin on his face, seemingly pleased with how the whole shoot went today. “I knew it was a good call casting you and Sana together. You both look like a real on-screen couple! Both hot as fuck with bodies to die for, now that’s what I call chemistry!”

Jimin can only manage a half-hearted smile, which the director is entirely smitten with as he makes promises with Sejin to be in touch for Jimin’s next project soon. If that’s what the director thinks is chemistry, then he hasn’t seen many movies. But then again, what counts as chemistry in the porn industry is totally different from Hollywood. Here, as long as you act like you’re having a good time, say your cheesy lines and cum on command, anything goes.

His teeth sink into his lower lip as he makes his way to the car, getting in without a single word. Fooling the director is one thing, but there’s one person he’ll never be able to fool, and that’s himself. Jimin has never felt as if he was on the verge of losing an erection during a scene. The first five minutes of the car ride is spent in silence as he reproaches himself over and over, and Sejin casts him a wary glance.

“You’re doing it again, aren’t you? Blaming yourself over something that can’t be changed,” Sejin interrupts his thoughts.

“No, it’s just…” Jimin denies it, but gives in a second later. “I was struggling during that last scene. Like really, honestly struggling. I think I’m losing it.”

To admit it out loud might be the scariest thing he’s ever done in his entire life to date. Saying it out loud makes it seem all the more real, and although it might be childish, Jimin thinks that if he keeps all these thoughts buried away in the corners of his mind, then everything will be alright again. All his doubts and insecurities will turn out to be nothing but lies, and everything will be okay.

“I know. I saw,” Sejin says. “Everyone struggles once in a while. What’s important is that you pulled through.”

His sincere words somehow makes Jimin want to keep talking. “I think… I’m tired. Tired of fake cumming in girls, tired of slapping random asses every day. The director said we had fucking chemistry. Can you believe that? Sana and I wouldn’t last two seconds in a science lab.”

Sejin chuckles as Jimin gets himself all worked up, muttering under his breath. “People see what they want to see, kid.”

“Do you remember anything about a girl in a white shirt and red plaid skirt?” Jimin asks suddenly, and Sejin is somewhat derailed by the change in topic, but decides to go along with his plucky charge’s demands. “Maybe one of my ex co-stars?”

“Park, this is porn. Red plaid skirt is a porn category all on its own, you must have fucked at least a dozen girls in that get up. So you gotta be more specific,” Sejin says as he turns into Jimin’s driveway, bringing the car to a stop.

“Oh. Right.” Visibly disappointed, Jimin leans back in his seat for a moment before reaching for the seatbelt to unbuckle it. “Well, thanks for today, hyung. I’ll get going now—“

“Wait, Park, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about this for a while now,” Sejin turns to Jimin with a contemplative look on his face. “It’s about a new project I had in mind. I’ve been discussing this with a few people from the brand department, and I think it’ll get you out of your slump.”

“That’s what we thought about Sana, remember?” Jimin fidgets with the tie on his robe. “Who is it this time? Another blonde bombshell? We pretty much exhausted the entire A listers already, so I don’t see who else—“

“Except she’s not an A lister,” Sejin turns and rummages around the mess that is the backseat of his car for a few minutes before pulling out a tablet and unlocking it with a few swipes. “But she’s a rising star. A face you don’t really see that often in porn, and her concept is unique too.”

He clicks open a few folders and swipes through a few albums before he finds what he wants, handing the tablet to Jimin. “Here. This girl. I don’t think you’ve ever worked with her before, but—“

The tablet feels like stone in his hands as he stares at the image, and suddenly, he’s able to put a face to that girl in the white shirt and plaid skirt from earlier. This must be a slightly newer picture, since your hair looks different from how he remembers it. You’re wearing a white lace babydoll set, looking more innocent and pure than anything he’s ever seen in his entire life.

Jimin’s seen way too many girls in lingerie by now, such that he’s almost desensitized to it already. But there’s something different about this picture that makes his blood rush through his veins almost immediately. Unlike the hundreds of girls he’s seen, you’re more modestly covered in this picture, your breasts are fully covered in the delicate cloth, and Jimin has to tear his gaze away from it before his mouth starts to water, the lace allowing him peeks of your skin through the material. The way you’re seated on that chair—luscious thighs spread apart, your pussy just hidden from view—is the most provocative sight he’s ever seen. Your head is propped on your hand and you are looking somewhere off camera in a slightly bored expression, but it enraptures him nevertheless.

“As you can see, her concept isn’t about showing as much skin as possible. Her brand is pretty much the opposite of yours—softcore domination, that is—and since opposites attract, I was thinking a miniseries… that is, if you guys have the chemistry. If you really like her and you gusy can work well together…” Sejin glances over at Jimin to gauge his reaction, only to find him still staring at the picture on the screen with a laser like intensity. The tell-tale bulge in his dress pants makes Sejin burst out in laughter. “I’m guessing little Park approves? What’s with you, popping a boner just by seeing a girl in underwear?”

Jimin sends him a side eyed glare, hastily using the tablet to cover his lap as he mumbles defensively, “it’s leftover from the shoot just now.”

Sejin hits the steering wheel with a victorious fist. “I knew it! I knew you’d like her. When I first saw one of her videos a few days ago, I immediately thought of you. I don’t know why she looked so familiar, but I guess there aren’t many girls doing the modest concept these days—“

“You’re wrong, hyung,” Jimin interrupts before Sejin can get too carried away. “I haveworked with her before, five years ago.” Jimin’s memory is now crystal clear, he remembers that day as if it was yesterday.

“Really? You have?” Sejin frowns in confusion. “I think I’d remember a face like that…”

Jimin sighs as he tosses the tablet into the backseat in resignation. “Your project sounds great and all, but it’ll never work.”

“What? Why?” Sejin fumbles for the tablet again, struggling to understand Jimin’s sudden change in mood.

“Because she hates me to the core. There’s no way she’ll ever agree to work with me.”

“And that’s a wrap, thank you!” The slates clap one last time, and your co-star breaks character immediately to brush his thumb at the corner of your eye to make sure that one bit of cum doesn’t accidentally get inside. Inwardly your heart stops at his tender gesture, as if you hadn’t been on edge the whole scene.

Cha Eun Woo is one of the most handsome porn stars you’ve ever seen. His face is a work of the gods; when he smiles he is all shy boyish charm that has all his older female viewers quaking in their panties (you included), but when he clenches his jaw tight he is anything but a flower boy. You consider it a privilege to get to work with someone like him, and even though this scene isn’t exactly up your alley—bondage and face fucking—you’d do it all over again if it only meant getting to look at his beautiful face.

Eun Woo reaches for the restraints on your wrists and starts undoing them before his manager drapes a robe over him and tries to usher him away. Good looking and has manners? You need to get on that dick immediately, preferably not with a dozen cameras surrounding you.

He insists on undoing at least one side of your restraints before he allows himself to be dragged away by his manager who insists that he has another shoot to get to. He throws you an apologetic smile over his shoulder which you return as one of the set assistants helps you with your wrists and hands you a robe along with a wet wipe for your face. The back view of him isn’t too bad either, in fact it’s just as good as the front. You continue staring till it’s regrettably covered by his robe, and then you migrate your gaze down to his thighs.

You wish you’d written your number on the backs of those hard as steel thighs. Never mind that you don’t have a pen, there’s plenty of cum on your face for you to-

“Done ogling your co-star yet? Didn’t you get enough in the past four hours already?” You sigh in disappointment when your manager finally appears in your field of vision, blocking your view of Eun Woo’s thighs as she hands you a bottle of water.

Regrettably, you unscrew the cap and take a sip, following Wendy to the changing room. “Even a lifetime together with that man wouldn’t be enough.”

Before you enter the changing rooms, there is a flurry of activity behind you and a few screams here and there. You whip your head around, clutching your robe to your chest in terror as the most horrifying scenes cross your mind. Maybe you’ll be burnt alive before you can collect your day’s pay, resigned to a tragic death without ever having a chance to try that new all you can eat buffet. Or maybe it’s a gunman looking to shoot down the most attractive person in this set, and seeing as Eun Woo has left the building long ago-

“It’s Park Jimin, oh my god!!!” Wendy squeals in your ear, abruptly putting an end to your macabre imagination as she scurries towards the set, stopping halfway when she realises your expression has darkened over.

You can spot a gaggle of fangirls- mostly set assistants and even the director himself- crowding around him as he runs an unbothered hand through his silver hair, pushing his dark circle lenses further up his nose as he shoots them a polite smile. Jerk. Asshat. Pretentious bastard. Who the hell wears sunglasses indoors? You hope he trips an invisible crack on the floor and falls flat on his stupid face. Why would an A-lister like Park Jimin be here in the first place?

Just then, the man in question raises his head as if he’s looking for something, and while you can’t exactly be sure, you feel his gaze lock onto you, and you hurriedly turn away to the safety of the changing rooms.

You open your locker to start changing into your shirt dress, your robe half off your frame when you hear the door open. Thinking that it’s Wendy, you don’t bother to speed up your actions at all; she’s seen you naked plenty of times. Sometimes when she breaks into your house to wake you up for morning schedules you don’t even bother putting on clothes till the very last minute, so—

“I must say, you’re a lot hotter than I thought you’d be. You look like you’ve grown a cup size or two.”

The sound of a male voice makes your heart leap into your throat, and you drop everything you’re holding, but thankfully your robe remains clasped under your arms. Park Jimin lowers his sunglasses to the very end of his nose as his eyes linger on every bit of exposed skin, even tiptoeing to get a better look, the bastard.

“Long-time no see, hmm?”

He looks conspicuously out of place in his immaculately pressed dress pants and white silk shirt, arms folded against his chest with an amused look on his face as you scramble to cover yourself up as quickly as you can. Arming yourself with a glare, you turn around to face him fully, your back against the lockers and feeling as if you’re being cornered.

For the first time in five years, you come face to face with the source of all your misery. He looks just as cocky and suave as he did all those years ago when you were just a rookie starting out in the porn industry, fresh faced and hopeful, desperate to make a quick buck to pay off all your tuition fees.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” you deliberately force yourself to turn back to your locker, acting as if his gaze on your back doesn’t bother you in the least. “What are you doing here? It’s not your shoot.”

Jimin looks a little disappointed when you’re decent again. “Why so shy all of a sudden? It’s not like I don’t know what you look like under there. That video where you get titty fucked? They’ve definitely grown a cup or two since then.”

You cast a cursory glance towards the entrance of the changing room, wondering why Wendy isn’t storming in by now. Granted, people in the porn industry are a lot more relaxed when it comes to nudity and personal space. In fact, just last month, management proposed to merge both sexes’ changing rooms into one in favour of an onsite barista serving custom made coffee and drinks, and everyone jumped on that bandwagon like a man with blue balls at an orgy.

Thankfully some people still had brains enough to protest it and overturn that decision.

“As if you’ve ever seen any of my videos,” you tell him with a roll of your eyes, fumbling around for your underwear so that you can get the hell out of there as fast as you can, to spare yourself from any more humiliation in front of this man. “As if that tiny pea brain of yours could contemplate anyone else’s existence other than your own.”

“Ouch, that’s harsh,” Jimin pretends as if you shot him straight in the heart, and you honestly wish you had a gun just so you could. The world would be a much happier place without him.

Jimin bends down to pick something up from the ground, and you’re horrified when you realise that it’s your plain old white cotton bra, the ratty one that’s been in the wash one too many times and may or may not have its underwire poking out. He dangles it from his finger by the strap with an accompanying smirk on his face as he examines it thoroughly, eyes flitting towards your face every now and then.

“Looking for this? I was right. You did grow a cup size.”

You snatch it from him and decide to bite the bullet, shoving your robe off and pulling your shirt dress over your body as fast as you can. You can already feel him gearing up to make a greasy comment about your lack of underwear, but you stop him in his tracks as you slam the locker closed.

“Watch it, Park. My body’s only a free for all when the cameras are on. Apart from that, I charge by the minute.” You swing your tote bag over your shoulder and make a beeline for the doors, but Jimin isn’t letting you get away so easily.

“Then how about I film you with my phone? Does that count?” He grins cheerfully as he whips out his phone from his pocket, but all you see is just sleaze personified on his face. “I’ve never done amateur porn before, but I’d do anything to fuck that pussy of yours.”

The nerve of this guy. Just because he’s an A lister, he thinks he can just show up all willy nilly at someone else’s shoot, scare them while they’re half naked and say these kinds of disgusting, lewd things. Honestly, you have no idea why he’s even here at your shoot in the first place when he could be doing a number of other things instead. Namely, working out and ingesting copious amounts of protein, and also checking himself out in the mirror. You can’t say that you’re intimately familiar with his hobbies, but it seems about right for someone as vain and cocky as Park Jimin.

“In your dreams. Now if you don’t mind, I have other places to be.” You shut him down again as you head outside to look for Wendy’s car.

“I’m serious. I have a preposition for you.” Jimin stops you with a hand on your arm. “A mini-series with me.”

“Save it, Park. Why would I want to do a scene with you?” You wrinkle your nose at him as you unscrew the lid of a bottle of water to take a few sips. “Actually, scratch that. I’d love to do a scene with you. It could be the shortest shoot ever in the history of porn. A tiny dick like yours couldn’t last even an hour. We’d be done in thirty minutes!”

While you are exclaiming in glee to yourself, clapping your hands with mirth at the thought of poor little Park Jimin prematurely ejaculating all over himself while the rest of the set watches on in disappointment, you don’t notice his eyes narrow and his lips press together in a firm line. You’re all too absorbed in the fantasy of watching Park Jimin embarrass himself in front of you and a whole bunch of other people, instead of it being the other way around, for karma to kick his ass and give him what he deserves after all these years.

You turn back to him when a thought suddenly strikes you. “Hey, you were there watching me and Eun Woo today right?”

Jimin folds his arms across his chest, all traces of glee wiped clean from his face. “Yeah… why?”

“Did you see how long he lasted? He didn’t even need a fluffer in between scenes. He fucked me like a pro,” you sigh dreamily, unconsciously gripping the bottle tight as you call to mind how thick his cock was. “And he’s so good looking too. I heard he once sat on a nail and he didn’t even feel a thing. Can you imagine how fine that ass of his must be?”

“My ass is pretty great too…” Jimin mumbles in consternation. “Why won’t you do a scene with me? Look, if it matters that much to you, I’ll even sit on a nail too. I’ll sit on two nails. Just to prove it.”

You don’t hear him over the sound of your phone chiming with a text. Unlocking it to check your messages, you throw in a few random belongings from your locker into your bag and get ready to leave, but Jimin still has more to say.

“My team’s already done the market research and analysis, you’re just that tiny bit short of making it to A list. If we collaborate, I’m pretty sure you’ll sky rocket to fame—“

You shrug his hand away violently, turning to face him with the immense urge to slap him hard. “What if I don’t want to be an A lister? Ever thought of that, Park? I’m no longer a charity case for people like you who’ve had it smooth sailing all along to take pity on. I made it this far on my own merit alone, and I sure as hell don’t need your help now—“

“Is this because I turned you down that one time?”

For someone who hasn’t seen you in five years, Park Jimin sure knows you well enough to hit you where it still hurts. Before you can stop it, the memories of that terrible, awful day come filtering back in despite your feeble attempts to block it out.

“Who’s this?” Park Jimin wrinkled his nose as he glanced at your poor fitting outfit.

You were well aware that your attempt at a sexy schoolgirl outfit didn’t quite meet the mark- it had come out of your own closet after all- but still, there was no reason for him to be quite so harsh, and you were at a loss for words. “I-I’m—“

“Is this my co-star?” Clothed in his perfectly pressed suit with his hair perfectly coiffed and standing at the other end of the table, Jimin glanced off to the side at the camera crew in doubt. At their confirmation, Jimin turned back to you and broke out into laughter. “PD-nim, I know you were aiming for an innocent school girl getting punished, but isn’t this a little too much?”

The entire set went silent, all eyes were on you and Jimin as you pushed yourself into a sitting position. Now that you looked down at yourself, you saw everything that was wrong- your skirt should have been a good three inches shorter, your blouse tighter, and you should have thrown on that pair of knee socks too-

“I-if there’s something wrong with my outfit, o-or my makeup, I’ll fix it real quick, I promise,” you were mumbling, tripping over your words in anxiety. You knew that this was your big break- appearing on screen with someone as famous as Park Jimin would give you the exposure you needed. More pragmatically, that day’s pay alone would be enough to pay off three months of rent that you’d been late on, and buy some much needed food other than instant noodles and bread and-

“This isn’t something that can be fixed with clothes or makeup,” Jimin shook his head as he turned away to walk off set. “PD-nim, I specifically requested a hot co-star right? Not her. She’s just too cute. No one would take her seriously. She looks like she belongs in a church choir! I’d feel like I was committing a cardinal sin. I don’t even think I could get it up!”

And you were left staring at his back as he walked away, pride wounded. You could hear some of the staff whispering amongst themselves, shooting you looks of pity. But the thought of the bills stacking up made you fight back tears and push yourself off the table as you ran after him.

“M-Mr Park, please, I really need this,” you hated the way your voice sounded, hated putting yourself at someone else’s mercy. But having this opportunity disappear right in front of your eyes made you desperate, you were already clutching at straws, right at the end of your rope, and this was all you had. “Just tell me what I need to change. I’ll do anything.”

“Nothing you do could make me want to fuck you.” Jimin shrugged out of your grip as he pushes back the sleeve of his blazer to reveal a gold Rolex on his wrist. He began to unbuckle the watch from his wrist. “Here. Take this. Compensation for your time.”

He threw the watch onto the ground carelessly as he walked away with his hands in his pockets.

You turn to face him fully, clenching your jaw as you force the remnants of the past back where they belong: out of sight and out of mind. “So what if it is? You think just because you’re an A lister everyone is dying to work with you? I wouldn’t work with Mr Four Inches even if you begged me to.”

How the tables have turned; if only someone had told you on that fateful day after Park Jimin left you in tears, that five years later he’d be crawling back and asking you to work with him. But revenge is sweet and a dish best served cold.

“Listen, back then I was an arrogant jerk, and I said things I shouldn’t have,” Jimin removes his sunglasses so that you can see his eyes now, and it actually looks as if the bastard is truly sorry. Too bad a mere apology won’t fix things now; neither will it negate all the hardship you went through just to make a name for yourself. “Just tell me what it’ll take for you to agree to work with me. I’m open to anything.”

You take a step closer to him, securing yourself a front row seat to the guilt and remorse that plays out on his face as he averts his gaze downwards. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for the past five years, even fantasised about it while going to bed hungry only to wake up at the crack of dawn the next morning to get to your shoot by yourself. This is the moment that makes all that suffering worth it.

“Nothing you do could make me want to fuck you.”

On days that you don’t have a schedule, your guilty pleasure is lying in bed doing nothing. Maybe scroll through some social media on your phone. Go back to sleep for a couple of hours. Nothing strenuous like getting out of bed even for food though. And besides, no one ever visits you other than your manager anyway.

So when your doorbell rings on your day off, you groan and push yourself out of bed, taking a whole five minutes just to muster the energy to get to your feet. Your body is still healing and recovering from your last session with Eun Woo—the script had called for some love bites and marks, and you have to let them fade a little before you can do your next shoot.

You stumble to the door and open it, only to find Park Jimin at your doorstep.

“What the fuck are you doing here? How did you know where I live?” You’re almost instantly awake now, fumbling for your phone. “Get the fuck out of here, or I’m calling the police.”

“Wait, please,” Jimin pushes against the door as you attempt to slam it in his face. “Just hear me out. Five minutes, that’s all. Please.”

Something about the tone of his voice makes you hesitate, and Jimin is able to shove the door open a little wider and wedge his body in between the small space. You’re pressed up intimately against him, much closer than you’d like to be, so you back away immediately just to put some distance in between you. You should have kicked this cocky bastard out when you had the chance.

To put aside his pride and humble himself, coming all the way to your doorstep to beg for you to hear him out takes more out of Jimin than he’d ever thought. But your moment of hesitation means a chance for him, and he’ll take it.

“The clock is ticking,” you show him the timer on your phone as you cross your arms.

Jimin almost laughs, he never thought you’d actually be timing him.

“I’m sorry,” he says, figuring that the simplest approach is the best one. “Look, I’m not going weave you a sob story about how much I’ve changed since then, since you most likely won’t buy it anyway. Instead of that, I’ll be honest with you. I’m in a slump.”

You snort with laughter as you cross your arms, leaning back against the counter. This isn’t all too bad, seeing Park Jimin get all desperate in front of you actually helps close those wounds a little. “The great Park Jimin, most sought after porn star in the entire industry, in a slump? Yeah, right. Tell that to your viewers, tell that to someone who actually cares.”

“It’s true,” Jimin insists, and he clenches his fists tight. As much as it hurts him to admit it, he knows this is the only way he’ll ever have a chance of getting through to you. “I know it may not seem like it but I… I’m just sick of fucking a random girl every day. Every shoot feels like a blur, and I’m just… not happy with my performance. If you watch any of my recent videos, I-“

“Watch your videos? Why would I want to watch someone with a tiny dick acting like he’s got it all?” You toss your hair over your shoulder as you walk towards the kitchen. Since you’re up, you might as well get something to eat. “Hey, I have a question. How does the cameraman manage to get a good shot with your big head in the way?”

Okay, he definitely deserves all this, but that doesn’t mean that your insults don’t hurt. Jimin follows a few steps behind you, casting a surreptitious glance downwards. Is his dick really that small? He knows he doesn’t conform to the porn industry norm of seven and up, but he knows he’s got a good girth, and none of his co-stars have ever complained about his size…

“Just… please. It’s not like you aren’t getting anything out of this either, you’ll get on the A list in no time-“

“Do you think that’s what I really want? To get on that fucking A list?” You shoot back at him, fury reignited once more at the mention of rankings. Someone like Park Jimin would never understand how hard you had to work just to get here. And why to be offered a leg up to ride on his coattails is all the more insulting. “Even if it meant more money, even if it meant more fame, I’d rather die than be on that list, if it’ll make me turn into someone like you, who looks down on others beneath them. Newsflash: not everyone is as obsessed with rankings as you are. Some of us are happy with things the way they are, if it’s enough to get by on, then that’s all I need.”

Jimin looks as if he’s been slapped, and his eyes dart around uncertainly, well aware of your indignance, but having no idea how to proceed from this point on. “I’m sorry if I made it sound like that. I was just trying to help you out too, but I-“

“Thanks, but I don’t need it,” you shove his chest, pointing to the door. “Get out of my sight.”

“I haven’t had an orgasm in ages, alright?” Jimin finally exhales in defeat, shoulders slumping as he admits the one thing that he hasn’t told anyone, not even his manager. “And you can laugh at me all you want, and I deserve it, but it’s hard to even get it up these days. There’s only so many pills you can take before it starts to fuck with your health, and if that snowballs, there goes my entire career, my everything-“

Jimin cuts himself off, turning to face you with an inscrutable look on his face.

His sudden confession has you stumped, and you struggle to find the right words as you stare at the man that has been the bane of your existence during the most difficult time of your life. Your first instinct is to mock him and gloat over his misfortune, but the man standing in front of you isn’t the Park Jimin that you know and hate- making fun of him now wouldn’t be morally right. You know of plenty of porn stars who’d been through the entire system and come out the other side worse for wear.

“So? What does that have to do with me? What makes you think I’m the miracle cure to all your problems?”

Jimin is encouraged when you don’t immediately chase him out or laugh at him. To think of how the tables have turned since five years ago makes him feel like an utter jerk- he hadn’t even given you the time of day back then. You’re a better person than he could ever be.

“I’m attracted to you. Physically, at the very least.” Jimin doesn’t have anything to lose now as he shrugs. He’s always been shameless to a large extent. “I popped a boner for the first time on my own when my manager showed me your photo.”

Now this is just plain ridiculous. Your eyes immediately drop to his crotch out of instinct, and the greasy little shit actually smirks. Before you can avert your gaze, he grabs his own dick through his dress pants, and your cheeks immediately heat up as you look away.

“And you expect me to believe that? Out of all the girls you’ve fucked, you’re not attracted to any single one of them, but you pop a tiny little boner for me?” You clear your throat hastily, trying to get your cheeks to cool down. It feels as if the room suddenly became a few degrees hotter, and-

“Why not? Is it that hard to believe?” Jimin shrugs as if it’s no big deal, leaning against your kitchen counter as he watches you gulp an entire glass of water.

“Listen, Park. I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing here, or if this is just one of your tricks to humiliate me again-“

“I’ll prove it!” Jimin is at his wits end, the timer on your phone ran out what seemed like ages ago, and he’s getting kicked out any second now.

“Prove what?” You turn around, and nearly drop the glass you’re holding.

Park Jimin is most definitely not Mr Four Inches. His pants are bunched up around his thick thighs- you’re privy to the very intimate fact that Park Jimin likes to go commando when he wears dress pants- and his dick is standing straight at attention. Even though he must have only been half hard when he grabbed himself just a few minutes ago, right now he is sporting a full erection, and you can’t help but stare at his one-eyed monster with a horrified look on your face.

You’ve seen many dicks in porn while sucking and fucking your way to the top. Park Jimin’s dick should not have this effect on you. But for some reason you can’t take your eyes off it no matter how hard you try, you can’t meet his eyes. “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

This at least seems to shake his confidence a little. “Wh-what do you mean? If you’re talking about the underwear, it’s good for my balls-”

“How are you hard that fast? Just a second ago you were-“ you cut yourself off as you close your eyes, massaging your throbbing temples. It feels as if you’ve aged ten years since Park Jimin showed up at your house and flashed you his dick in your kitchen.

“This isn’t even my final form yet, if you show me your pussy I can-“

“Did you get a boner just from arguing with me? Wait, you know what, I don’t care. I really don’t care. Just get out. There are knives in this kitchen and I’m not afraid to use them. In fact, I have this special knife I like to use just for long things like pickles and sausages.”  You mime a chopping action while staring directly at his exposed dick, and Jimin winces, covering himself instinctively.

Grabbing him by his ear, you half drag him to the door, giving him almost no time to pull his pants up before you toss him out on his ass. Tomorrow you’re putting in a request to end your lease and shift somewhere into the corner of the city so he’ll never be able to harass you again.

That’s the last you’ll ever see of Park Jimin.

You must be drunk. You must be out of your mind.

At least one of the above is true, judging from the almost empty bottle of wine on the table, and if sitting in front of your computer browsing porn in your underwear is considered normal, then you can write off the second one.

But this still doesn’t account for the fact that you’re on Jimin’s homepage scrolling through his top ten most popular videos, learning from his bio the very precise measurements of his dick. And very bizarrely, the fact that he has an especially tiny pinky is… cute?

There must be a virus on your computer. How else would you explain the fact that your mouse is moving of its own volition towards the most popular video on his page and clicking on it? Someone must be controlling your computer from a remote location, forcing you to watch porn videos of this stupid punk who probably can’t even last more than a minute max-

No, no, you can’t do this. You close your eyes tightly as the video buffers. You’ve never seen a single video of his in your entire life, and you’d do anything to keep it that way. But then the sound of Jimin’s low grunts and whines forces your eyes open again, and you’re met with an intimate view of his spread legs as he wraps one hand around his cock. The sight of his precum dripping over his knuckles as he grips himself harder makes you squeeze your thighs together in response. From this perspective his balls look so tightly drawn and swollen, and your mouth waters at the prospect of taking them into your mouth, wondering how he tastes like.

There is a giggle from a girl offscreen, and Jimin looks off to the side with a smirk on his face, spreading his thick thighs wider and letting his cock fall against his abs with a heavy thump. “Your pussy looks so tight, you sure you can take me?”

The camera pans to his female co-star, and you recognise her to be Sana, top A-lister who has a body to die for. She giggles and spreads her lips, lowering herself down on Jimin’s cock as he hooks his arms under her knees. Sana leans back against Jimin’s chest as he begins to fuck into her roughly, her stuffed pussy front and center on camera as her breasts bounce and she screams and cries his name.

Your underwear is suspiciously wet, and you shift uncomfortably, unable to take your eyes off his cock, pumping in and out of her pussy. Sana is actually one of your role models, and you’ve seen enough of her videos to know when she’s putting on an act and when she’s truly screaming her head off from being dicked down so hard. They change positions several times, and it looks as if she manages to have an orgasm every single time.

You forward to the end, somehow curious to see Park Jimin’s famous money shot. The last thirty seconds of the video shows Jimin’s tip buried in her pussy as he jerks off furiously, sweat shining on his abs as he grunts. Sana is egging him on, asking him to cum inside her, and Jimin complies with a groan, giving a few thrusts with his hips as white liquid begins to seep out around Sana’s pussy. You recognise it immediately as the fake stuff even as Jimin thrusts a few times to make it more realistic, before pulling out. The camera switches angles to focus on his fingers that are pulling her lips apart, exposing her to the camera as he leisurely plays with the fake cum, licking his lips and following the stream of cum with his eyes as it drips from her.

The close up shot of his face doesn’t lie- Park Jimin is one hell of an actor. If he hadn’t told you he was struggling, you’d be entirely fooled by the way he’s kissing Sana’s inner thighs on-screen, post orgasm glow on his rosy cheeks as he praises her for taking his cum so well. Jimin’s face is lit up with reverence and fascination as he runs his fingers through her used cunt, spreading his cum around and using it to rub her clit. The camera then focuses on Sana’s face, gasping and writhing from Jimin’s fingers, but the sound of his voice telling her to cum like the dirty girl she is, suck up all his cum deep inside where it belongs, steals your attention.

You can’t help but start to fan yourself. The soothing lilt of Jimin’s baritone voice is enough to make you feel like he’s actually talking to you right through the screen. With Sana’s face cut off from the frame, it’s easy to just close your eyes and immerse yourself in his praise, like some kind of ASMR porn. Your panties are unbelievably sticky. Now you know just why Park Jimin is an A lister, not because of his good looks or just Lady Luck smiling down on him, or god forbid, his not-as-small-as-you-thought dick. He is truly talented, he works hard, and he knows he’s good at what he does.

As much as you hate to admit it. But you are a person who gives credit where credit is due.

If what he says is true- that partnering with you will go a long way in helping his performance- then you wonder just how well this man can fuck. But yet… collaborating with him would mean having to deal with his insufferable cockiness, not to mention that you’ve already seen enough of him to last a lifetime by now.

But the stickiness between your thighs that just begs for your attention conjures up the filthiest, nastiest thoughts of what it would be like for Jimin to actually say all those things to you. Since everyone says he’s just that good at his job, why shouldn’t you test him out for yourself to see if he really lives up to his name? It’ll be like test driving a car with no intention to buy it whatsoever. Or just going to the showroom for the free biscuits and coffee. No commitment, no getting involved, nothing.

Easy as pie.

A part of you hesitates as you reach for your phone, fingers hovering over the send button long after you’ve typed out your message. Indecision has always been your weak spot.

Oh fuck it, what’s the worst that could happen? You hit the button and send the message to your manager before giving in to temptation and reaching for the rarely used vibrator that you stash away at the corner of your desk drawer.

Tell Park I’m in.

“Mr Park will see you now,” the receptionist gestures you toward a meeting room down the hallway, and you have to force yourself to aim a friendly smile at her instead of just turning right around and leaving immediately. 

After having been made to wait a good ten minutes past the agreed meeting time- you can see through the damn meeting room’s glass doors that Jimin is just twiddling his thumbs, doing absolutely nothing at all- you utterly regret your decision. You should never have agreed to work with this prideful asshole.

Park Jimin is absolutely obnoxious. You’ll bet a hundred bucks that he told the poor receptionist to quote that line from Fifty Shades. 

“Well well well… look who we have here,” Jimin grins smugly from his seat when you enter, legs spread wide so that your eyes are forced to take in the broad expanse of his well-muscled thighs and slowly travel up… up to-

Already beyond annoyed that you had to come all the way here- your number one rule when it comes to men and business is to let them come to you- you plop yourself down on the plush sofa, feeling out of place in your denim skirt and white shirt. Jimin, as usual, is dressed to the nines, white dress pants stretched tight over his thighs, and his light blue shirt draping slightly off one shoulder.

“What made you change your mind?” Jimin twirls a pen with interest as he crosses one leg over the other, nodding his thanks when a man clad in a full suit sets a tray with tea and coffee on the table. “Let me guess. I’ll bet it was my dick. It was, wasn’t it?”

This man is so full of himself, it makes your temples pound immediately. Yet, you can’t bring yourself to disagree entirely, even as you try not to gape at how luxurious Jimin’s label company is. This entire room alone is bigger than your company’s entire office, and you’ve most certainly never been served tea and biscuits at a contract negotiation before.

“I’m…” you fumble around for a plausible excuse to feed him even as you panic a little. “I’m adopting a cat!”

Jimin’s brows furrow in slight confusion. “O-ookay?”

You want to kick yourself. When you go home today, you need to write out a list of excuses to use in a pinch when cocky bastards ask if you like their dicks. Jimin looks amused as he raises his eyebrows, that stupid infuriating smirk telling you that he sees through your excuse as if it’s nothing but cling wrap. But you’ve made your bed. And now you have to lie in it. “A-and I figured the extra money couldn’t hurt.”

“How much money does one need to adopt a cat?” Jimin queries, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees now. The stupid little punk has a tiny smirk on his lips, but his eyes seem as if he is genuinely curious.

“It’s a… a very expensive cat, a purebred,” you say defensively. You’re just pulling all this out of your ass now, but you can’t, refuse to back down. “He’s gonna need lots of vet checks and toys and um… cat things.”

“Cat things. Right. Very expensive, those. I would know, since I know pussies very intimately.” Jimin nods, the corners of his lips twitching as he struggles to fight back a grin.

“You told her to say that, didn’t you,” you accuse him, desperate to change the subject. “On purpose, just to annoy me.” 

Jimin merely raises his brows, taking a slow sip of his tea and staring at you from over the rim of his cup. Stupid, cocky, obnoxious, handsome bastard. 

You roll your eyes and tilt your chin toward the reception. “’Mr Park will see you now’.”

Jimin’s eyes light up with mirth immediately as he sets his cup down, licking his lips, feigning innocence. Or ignorance. Or both. “I’m not sure what you mean by that... she is a receptionist, and that is her job, so I’m not sure why you’d think-”

“You were waiting in here doing nothing for ten minutes!” You finally explode, pointing a finger at him. “I fucking saw you through the glass door!”

Jimin seems to be utterly amused by your explosive anger, and he only shrugs nonchalantly. He has this stupid shit eating grin on his face as he revels in your irritation.

“Ah yes, that. I was meditating, you see. Very good way of calming the mind and the body,” Jimin is still grinning from ear to ear as he twiddles his thumbs. “Speaking of, you might want to try it yourself. Maybe you can get rid of some of that... pent up anger.” 

You are still fuming at him, grabbing a biscuit off the plate and popping it into your mouth, chewing silently for a few minutes as you continue to seethe. Jimin admits you look cute like this- cheeks puffed out from chewing- bickering with you is actually fun, and it’s entertaining to see how easily he can rile you up. 

Jimin silently praises himself for coming up with that idea, beyond pleased that Sandra came through as promised- if only he could have seen the look on your face when she said that to you. 

He clears his throat, resting his arms on his knees and lacing his fingers together. “Anyway, before you sign anything, I just wanted you to know what you’re getting yourself into.”

Immediately, you narrow your eyes in suspicion, turning your knees away from his lewd gaze as he eats up the expanse of your legs with his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I’m sure you know by now, after much… research,” Jimin pauses to lick his lips- that bastard knows exactly what he’s insinuating- as he uncrosses his legs. “You’ll know all about my style, and I guess you could call it a brand that I made for myself. Mainly I do submissive and occasionally softcore dom-“

“Wait, what?” You nearly spit out your coffee. Images of your late night ‘research’ session assault you, and although you would never admit it, Park Jimin is anything but submissive and softcore dom. You remember being awed at his hidden strength as he tosses his girls around, bending them into positions that give the camera the best view, almost felt the stinging sensation of his spanks on your own ass, the sharp bite of his teeth sinking into your own skin, marking you all over. His girls end up thoroughly fucked and marked, and his trademark is that his videos always end with a leaking pussy. Jimin likes to play around with the cunts that he’s fucked, tongue lingering teasingly around his girls’ inner thighs, almost but never quite coming close to licking up the mess that he just made. The video would always cut to black in a very unsatisfying manner, and that’s how you found yourself clicking from one video to another in the hopes of finding one where he actually eats his own cum. Or the fake cum, that is.

“You? Submissive? Softcore?” You nearly snort with laughter. “Maybe in your next lifetime, Park-“

The shit eating grin that spreads across his face lets you know that you’ve been caught red handed. Park Jimin pushes himself off his seat to join you on the sofa, crowding into your space as he sits so close to you that his thigh brushes yours. One arm goes around the back of the sofa to curl around you, and the other casually rests on your bare knee. His agonizingly plump lips just brush against the shell of your ear. “Caught you, princess. Been watching my videos? No wonder you look like you didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“I wasn’t- I just…” words elude you for the nth time today, and a bubble of frustration rises in your chest. Just what is it about this man that makes you so tongue tied, when usually you have no problem saying whatever comes to mind?

“What if I told you I’ve watched every single one of your videos too?” Jimin’s lips ghost across your cheek, following your jawline. “And I like the ones where it’s just you on camera. Your lips sucking my cock, eyes tearing up because I’m fucking your mouth so good. Your pussy getting creamed and filled up so that it leaks everywhere. Your ass bouncing on my cock while you whine and moan because you’re just that. fucking. tight.”

You do all you can to keep your breathing level, even though your body reacts instinctively to his words just as it had the night before. The tone of his voice, the filth that spews from his sweet plush lips awakens your lust once more, lust that you spent the better part of last night trying to quench. The difference is, this time Park Jimin is actually here whispering these words into your ear and you can reach out and just-

His thigh feels like steel under your touch. You slide your fingers up till you almost reach the apex as his breaths on your neck cause your nipples to harden and ache for his tongue.

Abruptly, Jimin draws away with a satisfied smirk on his lips. “There. I think I gave you just a tiny little taste of the weeks to come hmm? Now, let’s go over the contract together, shall we?”

The contract ended up to be pretty standard, nothing you’ve never seen before, except for the exclusive part. You’re bound to Jimin for three shoots exclusively, and over the span of these shoots, you’re not allowed to take on any other projects, and neither is he. As for the actual script and content of each shoot, Jimin left it open to negotiation. But having spent the past few years doing every single porn cliché imaginable, you’re pretty much fresh out of ideas and don’t really mind leaving it up to Jimin, as long as he runs it through you for your approval first. A part of you is actually even a little curious to see what he can cook up that he hasn’t already done.

And with that, you’d just entered an exclusive contract with your nemesis, the man you swore you’d never fuck. He’d turned you down all those years ago and left you high and dry, what’s to say that he won’t do the same again this time? For years after you’d cringe at yourself when you look in the mirror, forced yourself to fight through the crippling panic attacks before every single shoot as his words come to mind again and again.

Everyone is their own worst critic, but your own self-degradation is only bolstered by the ghost of his words uttered when you were at your lowest. Even the memory of letting someone see you at your most desperate and dire causes a physical shudder to run through your body. Never again will you be in such a position.

But at least now if he decides to revert back to his arrogant self again, you’ll be protected by the contract you signed. You’ll make sure to sue his balls off.

When Jimin emails you the first script, you’re too shocked for words when you read through it. It’s nothing he’s ever done before, at least not from what you remember. The premise is you as a high end prostitute being rented out exclusively by CEO Jimin, only he’s found out that you’ve been seeing other customers behind his back. His lines are definitely not soft-core, nowhere near it. It is degrading, slightly humiliating, and there is plenty of name calling.

Just the thought of letting Jimin have the upper hand in this scene brings back all the unpleasant memories, and bile threatens to rise in your throat. It seems like he wasn’t joking when he said he likes to dominate his girls. You know you could always just write him back and tell him that it’s too much, too fast for you. While Jimin might be an insufferable bastard with the biggest ego you’ve ever seen, he isn’t unprofessional. He’ll change the script if you tell him to, no questions asked.

But a stubborn part of you is desperate to prove to him that the events of five years ago no longer hold any power over you. To show him, and maybe yourself too, that you’ve long ago moved on from it. You don’t want to run from it anymore, and the best way to do it would be to accept this script, willingly put yourself in a subservient position below the man who’d rejected and humiliated you all those years ago.

You sigh and reach for a bottle of wine before you read any further. Why can’t moving past trauma be as easy as finishing an entire bottle of wine by yourself?

Nursing a glass of wine, you read on. The kinks… oh god.  Spanking, for one. There’s also a part where you’re required to do a lapdance for him, accompanied with stripping. As you read through both your parts, you try and visualise the entire scene in your head. There’s no way you’ll be able to dance confidently, that’s for sure. The rest of it is a slight stretch, but for now that’s the only change you want to make, and you type back a brief line to Jimin.  

And then, there’s nothing left to do but search for strip tease videos and learn the heck out of them.

Doing a shoot with Park Jimin has its perks.

Proper make-up artists, for one. And an actual chair to sit in while your hair and makeup gets done professionally. There’s even a manicurist on call who gives you a quick touch up when she sees your bare nails. And the wardrobe… usually the lingerie that gets shoved at you is two sizes too small, scratchy and doesn’t fit well, and even once or twice looks like it hasn’t been washed. But today the stylists prepared a custom fit scarlet lace bralette that supports you just right, enhancing your natural cleavage and making you more confident than you’ve ever been about your tits. The lace of it just skims your waist, accentuating the petite curve of it, while the low rise panties come with matching garters. You’re also given a black lace see through cardigan to drape over your shoulders, and overall the entire outfit is very tasteful, very much your style of not exposing too much skin.

As you sit in the chair and go over the script one last time, you can’t help but feel the nerves right in the pit of your stomach. The makeup artists are working their magic on you, transforming you into an entirely different person altogether, so when you look at yourself in the mirror, it feels foreign. After they’re done, you ask to be left alone just for a moment so you can calm yourself down.

“Hey… how’re you doing?” Wendy approaches you and places her hands on your shoulders from behind. “Okay? Nervous?”

You put on a brave smile for her, meeting her eyes in the mirror. “No, not nervous. I mean, maybe a little.”

“It’s normal,” she reassures you, kneading your shoulders to get at the tense knots. “You’ve never done something so… intense. Actually, I was surprised you even accepted it in the first place.”

You give her a muted shrug as you focus on looking through your script. You haven’t seen Jimin since stepping on set, assuming that he is off somewhere also getting his hair and makeup done.

The director’s assistant pops her head in soon after to let you know that it’s time for the preliminary lighting checks. Placing your script on the table in front of you, you take a deep breath, meeting your own eyes in the mirror once more before sliding your feet into your four inch black heels that you’d been given and making your way to the main set area.

Today’s set is simple- what looks like the interior of a bachelor’s pad. The first scene takes place in the living room over the sofa, and you wait awkwardly by the side for the director’s cue. You notice Jimin laughing and joking with him from afar, giving him a brief side hug before he notices you staring at him and makes his way over.

“Morning,” your co-star greets you with a lazy half smile, and you wobble on your heels, nearly twisting an ankle. Irritated with yourself, you bite your lip hard.

Jimin reaches out to steady you with his hands on your waist through the flimsy material of your cardigan, and when he sees what you’re wearing, he raises an eyebrow in approval. He doesn’t take his hands off your waist, seeing it fit to pull you into his body so that you can feel his hips against yours. You can feel the ice cold metal of his rings on your skin, and it makes you shiver. Jimin doesn’t look all that different since he is wearing a suit, but his hair is slicked back and his makeup dark and smouldering. He exudes an aura of power and control.

“Morning,” you mutter back, taking a step away from him and averting your gaze to calm your racing heart.

Jimin lets you go with a chuckle, but then he glances down at your heels. “Are those bothering you? You should take them off if it’s uncomfortable.”

A little taken aback at his sudden concern, you glance down at your feet. “It’s fine. Maybe later, during the strip tease. For this scene I won’t really be standing much anyway.”

Jimin hums an agreement as he absent mindedly plays with his rings, briefly directing his attention to the set technicians as they adjust the lighting and check the camera angles. Having his eyes off you sets you at ease a little, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding, causing Jimin to turn to you.

“You look a little tense,” he comments, noting your crossed arms and hunched shoulders. “Was there anything else you wanted me to change in the script? I’m still open to last minute changes. Don’t force yourself to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’m serious about that, I’ll handle everything with the director, so don’t hesitate.”

At the mention of the director, you turn your head toward where he is currently surrounded by a few script writers. This director is known for being short tempered and very direct, although of course Jimin has an excellent relationship with him. The director probably doesn’t even know who you are, doesn’t care about a nobody like you.

“Nothing?” Jimin raises his eyebrows. “Last chance to cop out before you forget everything but my name.”

The bastard is grinning like a Cheshire cat now, and in spite of your nerves, it actually sets you at ease to see Jimin acting the way you’ve always known him to be.

“Please. I think it’s you who should be nervous,” you roll your eyes at him, glancing at his crotch pointedly. The material of his dress pants are dark so you can’t really tell if he’s hard or not. “Little Park up to the task today? Or maybe you need me to flash you first? Are you gonna cum once you see my tits?”

The back and forth banter feels familiar. It feels right.

“Are you offering a sneak peek? I’m not in a position to turn that down, although…” Jimin actually reaches forward to grab your hand and pull it to his crotch, and you gasp when you’re met with his semi-erect state. “I’ll make you eat your words today.”

The playful glint in his eyes makes you forget about everything you were nervous about.

“Maybe you should have written in some against the wall action,” you direct your gaze down to his covered thighs. “Your thighs and ass look like they need some work.”

Jimin just laughs as if the thought had never occured to him before. He does suppose his ass has got a little flat recently... and Jimin can think of more than one way to get his famous bubble butt back. One that involves you being naked, on his back while he does some squats.

“You’ll be seeing plenty of my ass and thighs, I assure you,” he lowers his voice as his lips brush against the shell of your ear. 

One of the assistant producers directs you on set, and you walk ahead of Jimin and take up your opening position against the back of the sofa. Jimin follows and crowds up against you, every inch of his body against yours as you spread your thighs to accommodate him. He presses his nose into the crook of your neck, his hand running up your side and lifting your cardigan so that your ass is exposed. He cups your cheek with his other hand, and up close like this, it’s actually quite magical to witness Park Jimin getting into character.

All traces of humour and boyish playfulness fades, and in its place is a poker face: eyes hard and unforgiving, jaw clenched with a muscle that jumps in his cheek. His grip around your waist is punishing and no doubt leaving finger marks, yet the way he strokes your cheek is completely opposite; a gentle caress with his thumb on your chin, playing with your bottom lip. Your heart skips a beat from how cold his gaze is. 

The director gives his approval for the cameras to start rolling. “Scene one, action!”

“My favourite whore,” Jimin mumbles with a slow smile, eyes dipping down to appreciate your cleavage from his vantage point. His hand leaves your cheek to tangle in your hair, giving it a few firm tugs as the camera focuses on your side profiles. “I’ve missed that mouth of yours around my cock so much.”

He reaches to push the lace cardigan off your shoulders, and it falls to your feet, exposing you to the camera and also to his gaze. Wearing a devious smirk, you let one bra strap fall off your shoulder. “I missed you too, Mr Park.”

“Oh really?” He comments with a raised eyebrow when the other strap falls down too, and you lean forward to show off your cleavage to the camera circling the both of you. “Then maybe you’d care to explain why one of my acquaintances just bragged to me mere hours ago about fucking that sweet pussy of yours?”

As the script calls, you freeze immediately in his gaze. But there is no need for you to put on any sort of pretense, because the look on Jimin’s face is enough to make your heart skip a few beats. He looks genuinely displeased, unimpressed with the little show you’re putting on for him that it makes you doubt if you’re doing a good job at playing the sultry prostitute or not.

He makes his way over to the couch, sitting with his thighs spread, motioning you to stand in between them.

“I-I wasn’t, Mr Park, I just-“

“Save it, dollface,” he waves your excuse away with a disappointed sigh. His eyes travel the length of your body passively. “The terms and conditions of being my whore were clear, were they not? Surely even a slut that’s as cock hungry as you would understand how many girls out there would kill to be my personal fuck toy. I don’t share my toys, and I don’t fuck sloppy seconds either.”

Jimin waits a beat or two before he continues, his voice now a low growl. “Take your panties off, turn around, and bend over. I want to see your pussy.”

Trembling in your heels, you do as he says, inching the lace fabric down over your hips as the camera relocates behind you. The humiliation that burns on your cheeks is real even though you keep reminding yourself that it’s just a scene. You bend over so that your chest touches your thighs, putting yourself fully on display for him. You can only imagine what kind of view the camera; and by extension, Jimin, is getting now.

“Spread your lips with your fingers. Let me see inside,” he demands, and you reach back to pull apart your already damp pussy lips with both hands.

“Look at that,” Jimin marvels. “Didn’t even bother to clean up before you came over to fuck me. What a fucking cumslut you are, you let him cum in your pussy? You think you could fool me? Make me take disgusting sloppy seconds?”

There is a hitch in your breath when Jimin goes slightly off script, mentioning cum that isn’t in your pussy. Thankfully you aren’t too far gone to think on your feet. “N-no Sir! I made him use a condom.”

A sudden sharp sting on your ass elicits a cry from you.

“It still doesn’t excuse your behaviour. In case you forgot, I’ll remind you again. Your. Pussy. Is. Mine.” Jimin punctuates each word with a slap, causing you to wobble on your heels as your walls clench around nothing. “Dripping for me already?”

You can feel your pussy start to drip down your inner thighs, and a blush heats up your cheeks involuntarily.

“Why don’t you get on my thigh and show me how sorry you are, and maybe I’ll consider letting you suck my cock. And lose the bra.”

Scrambling to kick off your underwear, you turn around to face Jimin again, and he is leaning back against the sofa, a proud smirk on his lips as he spreads his thighs invitingly. You manage to take a few steps towards him before Jimin grabs your waist and pulls you down, situating his firm, thick thigh right against your bare center. Embarrassingly, you can feel yourself start to soak through his dress pants almost immediately as he watches your chest heave with an unimpressed raise of his eyebrow.

Jimin tugs down the lace cups of your bra to expose your breasts, pinching your nipples harshly. “What’s a slut like you doing wearing underwear? Cumwhores like you should go around with a bare pussy, since you like cock so much, hmmm? Don’t you think?”

With his hands around your hips securing you on his lap, Jimin makes eye contact with you for a brief second to check your reaction. Imperceptibly, his thumb brushes against your skin softly, and the touch reassures you that it’s all just for the camera, and you relax slightly.

“Yes, sir,” you whisper as you arch your hips up, showing the camera your pussy and Jimin’s soaked lap.

“Good girl, now grind like you mean it,” Jimin spits onto your right nipple, watching perversely as his saliva drips over your erect bud, soaking the red lace.

With a moan, you begin to work your hips against his thigh, feeling his muscles tense to give you just the right amount of friction. Your clit rubs against him just right, and Jimin reaches down to spank your ass before he gropes it lewdly.

“That’s it… fuck, I knew a whore like you’d be good at this. Show me how much you want my cock. Look at your dirty pussy, you made such a mess of me.” He spreads your ass cheeks apart to show the camera your tight asshole, and you lift your hips for a moment to grant your poor clit some reprieve before you cum prematurely like a rookie. Jimin reprimands you with a sharp slap. “Did I say you could stop, whore?”

With a barely concealed whimper, you lower your cunt onto his thigh and start to grind again, but Jimin shoves you off roughly, and you land on the couch with your thighs spread, pussy already red and swollen. Jimin pushes himself to his feet with a disappointed sigh as he looks at you, utterly unimpressed as he delivers a spank to your clit, followed by three more. You sob and cry for mercy, thighs quivering as you jerk and wriggle on the couch, trying to close your legs.

“Keep your fucking legs spread, or I’ll have to tie you to a spreader bar,” Jimin growls as he digs his nails into the soft flesh of your inner thigh. His eyes are hard, cruel and cold as he spanks you a few more times. “Sluts like you should know how to keep their legs spread right?”

“Please, Sir, please,” you pant and whine, tears gathering in the corner of your eyes as he soothes the crescent shaped indents with a caress.

“Give me one reason why you deserve my cock. A dirty little whore like you who fucks every man she meets.” Jimin slaps your clit again before spitting at it in disgust. You can feel his saliva on your clit, dripping down over your slit. “That’s all you are; a desperate, cock hungry slut.”

“M-make it yours,” you gasp, thighs trembling in Jimin’s grasp even as your breath comes in uneven heaves, cheeks burning in humiliation that is all too real. “Make my cunt yours, Sir.”

“Should I?” Jimin pretends to consider for a moment, and the ice cold sensation of his rings against your skin are the only thing keeping you sane right now. Your cunt is throbbing, desperate for any kind of relief, you are covered in sweat, tears and Jimin’s spit, utterly wrecked and he hasn’t even taken off a single article of clothing yet. “We’ll see how well you suck cock, whore. Get up.” 

“And cut!” The director calls an end to the first scene, and Jimin immediately releases his grip on your thighs.

The director’s voice is like a wakeup call, and you take in the sight of the cameras and crew surrounding you with a renewed clarity. The cut came at a good time; for a moment there you almost forgot that this is merely a scene from a porn script, and it’s never happened to you before. Your breaths are coming in harsh pants and you recognise that you are about to hyperventilate if you don’t regulate your breathing soon.

You push yourself to a seating position and close your thighs, taking a moment to regain your senses as Jimin crouches in front of you. He is fussing with a tissue at your tearstained cheeks even though there are two make-up artists hovering behind him, and you are thrown off by this 180 degree change.

“I didn’t hurt you did I?” Jimin frowns as he glances at your thighs. “I cut my nails this morning, but…”

“I’m fine,” your voice is wobbly as you push his hand away and get to your feet, stepping around him and letting the makeup artists do their thing. Letting your impeccable mask slide back into place as the tears are sponged off your face. A few swipes of a brush here and there, and they step back. And you are good as new. No sign whatsoever to indicate that you were this close to almost breaking into tears. 

Jimin is still way too close for comfort, you feel as if having him look at you up close like this is enough for him to realise how affected you were by that scene. And that’s not something you’re willing to divulge just yet.

Jimin looks as if he’s about to protest, but then the director cuts in, ordering everyone to move to the bedroom for the next scene. You start to walk towards the set, but Jimin stops you with a hand on your wrist.

“Hey, look at me. Are you okay? I need to know before we go any further,” his grip on you is insistent as he pins you in place with his eyes. “This is a rough scene and I need you to tell me when you need a break or if it gets too much.”

Jimin is genuinely concerned as he searches your expression, refusing to relinquish his grip on you till you give him an answer. He doesn’t seem to care that the director is left waiting on the new set; all his attention is focused on you only.

“The dialogue was a little much,” you admit as you look away from him, crossing your arms over your naked chest self-consciously. The thought of admitting just how much it affected you nearly makes you sick to your stomach. “But it’s fine. I just need to get used to it.”

Jimin releases a breath as he nods to himself. “Good. And also- I should have asked you this earlier, but my partners and I have a signal we use for each other during scenes to act as a non-verbal safeword. Are you familiar with that kind of practice?”

You hesitate a little before answering, since it’s hard to reconcile this Jimin with the domineering, cold man just moments ago. Also, you’ve never done shoots that even came close to requiring such a protocol. “No. I can’t say I’m very familiar with that.”

“Just touch my earlobe once if you need to slow down. Twice to stop completely.” He says as he begins to lead you to the bedroom. “In my shoots, my girls have all the power. Just one word from them and everything stops. I’m serious, ______.”

Thrown off by how seriously he takes all this, you take a seat on the foot of the bed first. Hearing him refer to you as ‘his girl’ admittedly makes you a little giddy, and what makes it worse is when Jimin kneels down between your thighs with one hand stroking your knee, eyes fixed on you intently as he studies your expression. You’d never expected this degree of attention and concern from your co-star, but it seems as if your pre-conceived notions about Park Jimin may have been wrong.

You’re aware that every single pair of eyes in the room is on you, waiting for your signal to go ahead. Suddenly you don’t feel like the no-name extra on set any more like you’re used to. Even the director himself looks concerned as he strides over to check if everything is alright, calling over a few scriptwriters too. It’s clear that they are all waiting for your approval to go ahead, and you just barely hear Jimin’s voice when he checks in with you.

“Hey, you okay? Get her some water,” he says to an assistant, but you wave her away.

“I’m fine, it’s fine,” you scramble to reassure everybody. “We can continue, really. I’m good.”

“You sure?” Jimin confirms one last time, and you reply with a nod. Then, all the crew and the director return to their assigned spots, and you shift off the bed onto your knees to prepare for the next scene.

Jimin positions himself in front of you so that his crotch is directly at eye level, and you realise that he’s only half hard. It must have been all the delay in between scenes, but when you consider helping him out, Jimin looks down at you, and you can feel his eyes appraising every inch of your body.

“You look so good down there on your knees. Can I?” Jimin palms himself with one hand and the other reaches down, gently cupping your breast when you nod.

The cameras aren’t even rolling yet, and the director is busy checking some camera angle, so you whisper-hiss at Jimin, “what are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” He shrugs nonchalantly, rolling a nipple between his fingers and tugging at it, letting it go to watch how your breast bounces. “I’m getting myself hard. Usually I’d sneak a pill right about now, but with you around I don’t think I need it. Maybe you’re my Viagra.”

“Gee, thanks, what an honour,” you grumble under your breath, but you can’t really complain because his warm hands feel quite nice on your skin. The air conditioning is ramped up on set, so your skin feels a little chilly, but Jimin continues to massage and tweak your nipples, and you can feel yourself start to drip onto the floor, shifting from your position to rub your thighs together.

His knowing, cocky grin irks the shit out of you as he switches to the other breast, abandoning his grip on his dick to push both tits together as he admires your cleavage. “Y’know, I think I’ll write in some titty fucking in the next one. What do you think about that?”

“Let’s see if you even have that much dick first,” you quip back at him just as the director calls for everyone to be on standby.

“Rolling for scene two, let’s go!”

Immediately Jimin’s face shuts down into a cold, sombre expression as he slaps your breasts hard. You feel the heavy weight of them swinging under his gaze as he buries one hand into the hair at the base of your neck as he tugs your head up to look at him.

“Take me out. No hands, use that filthy mouth of yours, whore,” Jimin’s voice is bone-chillingly sharp, and you rush to do as he says.

Undoing his dress pants and dragging down his zipper with your teeth is something you’re practically an expert at, having done it for practically every single shoot since you started porn. It’s part of the niche that you carved for yourself as the innocent, angel incarnate. You can tell that Jimin is slightly surprised at how fast you are and how easily you drag his pants down to reveal his fully hard cock by the slight widening of his eyes before he covers it up by slapping his cock against your cheek, leaving a sticky trail of precum.

You can see the pleasure in his face when he drags his cock all over your face, ruining your makeup as he slaps his cock against your cheek several times. You open your mouth for him, showing him your tongue as Jimin buries his cock into your mouth at an angle, pushing against the side of your mouth and thrusting a few times so that your cheek protrudes obscenely. Then he lies his dick on the centre of your face so that your mouth touches his balls and his tip is leaking onto your forehead, precum dripping down your skin. This is ultimate degradation, your face is used as nothing but a bed for his cock.

“Lick my balls like the cockslut you are. Don’t miss a single inch, bitch.”

You comply and lave his balls with your tongue reverently, taking them into your mouth as Jimin spreads his thighs for the camera to get a good view. You take one of them into your mouth and suck on it, wishing you could play with the other one with your hands. He feels big in your mouth, heavy on your tongue as you roll him around, coating his balls in saliva. Jimin pulls your head away and pushes his cockhead against your lips, demanding you to open up for him.

You part your lips and he slides in almost immediately, sinking all the way into your throat without a warning. He may not be as big as some of your other co-stars you’ve had before, but damn is he thick. Your eyes water immediately and you gag a little, to which Jimin grunts in approval as he strokes your cheek.

“Choking already? Shouldn’t a whore like you do better than that? Show me how well you can suck dick, I know you’re better than this.”

You glance up to meet Jimin’s eyes directly- with the camera focusing on your face, Jimin lets his stone cold expression loosen a little as he raises an eyebrow- issuing you a direct challenge. Somehow the mischievous spark in his eyes motivates you to reduce him to nothing but a whining, moaning mess just with your mouth, so you force down your gag reflex and start sucking him as if your life depends on it.

Spit and saliva is everywhere- all over his dick, covering your chin, dripping down to your breasts- but you don’t give in as you deepthroat him completely, swallowing a few times before pulling back and running your tongue along the veins of his cock. Jimin is so thick that your jaw actually starts to ache, but a tiny little flicker in his expression when you let his head touch the back of your throat spurs you on. Somewhere in the distance you can hear the director’s approval, but all you can concentrate on is the sloppy sounds emanating from your own mouth, and Jimin’s dark, heady gaze trained on you as he supports your head with his hand, gathering your hair into a messy ponytail.

He is biting his lip hard, a surefire sign that you’re affecting him at least a little bit. Jimin, for his part, is doing his best to fuck your throat evenly and keep his expression unreadable, but when your throat closes and grips his dick, he has to pull you off his cock before he loses his load way too early.

Jimin can see the look of triumph on your face as you pant for air, lipstick smeared around your lips and mascara running down your cheeks. He grips his dick at the base hard, breathing heavily for a few moments to regain control before he bends down to grab you by the waist, tossing you onto the bed.

“Arch for me,” Jimin whispers just under his breath, palm smoothing along the dip in your back. There is a grunt of approval when you push your ass out for his viewing pleasure. “I knew you were good with that mouth, but your punishment isn’t over yet, baby.”

A visible shudder runs throughout your entire frame at the unexpected nickname, exacerbated by the way Jimin strokes the small of your back almost reverently. He spreads your ass cheeks apart to appraise your most intimate parts, and he chuckles when he sees your dripping pussy.

“So here’s what’s going to happen next,” Jimin palms a handful of your ass as he strokes his dick with the other. “I’m going to spank this pretty ass, and you’re not allowed to make a single noise. If you do, there will be consequences.”

Your cheek against the mattress, ass up high for Jimin, you can feel yourself start to drip down your thigh. “Wh-what consequences, Sir?”

Jimin makes no answer, but suddenly you feel the blunt head of his cock against your unlubed asshole, and you pretend to whine and wriggle away from his grasp.

“No, Sir please, please not there,” you are struggling as Jimin grips your waist and pulls you against him just as the script calls for.

“It starts now, slut. Every little noise you make means one inch in your tight ass.” Jimin pulls your cheeks apart to see the head of his cock pressed against your asshole, and he delivers a slap to your right cheek before he leans down so that his tongue traces your earlobe. “I’ll go up to fifteen today, I think. And as much as I’d like to tear that pretty ass open… I’d advise you to keep quiet, dollface.”

Jimin has one hand on the base of his cock, the other alternating between your left and right cheeks, so that your skin burns a bright red with every strike. You can feel Jimin actually putting in his full effort with every slap, not the kind of half-hearted pretending that you’re used to with your co-stars. On his seventh slap you can’t help but cry out into the sheets, the burn on your skin radiating right down to your clit, and Jimin clucks his tongue in disappointment.

“We were so close too…” Jimin sighs as he taps his cock few times at your tight entrance, and you sob in response, clenching your muscles automatically. You can feel Jimin chuckle in amusement as he draws his cock away for a brief moment, and you hear him spit, before feeling a wet and warm substance drip down your asshole. He spreads it around a little with the head of his cock, and despite your scripted pleas and cries, Jimin pushes his cock into your barely lubed ass.

“How’s that feel, slut?” He murmurs as he caresses your bright red and sore ass.

All you have is his saliva and precum lubing you up, but it doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. You can feel Jimin’s tender touches on your waist as his way of checking in with you, and the minute action sets you at ease even though you can’t see or touch him to activate your safeword.

“It-it hurts, Sir,” your voice is a low sob as you bury your cheek into the soft bedding, amidst all your arousal, it’s a wonder how you can still remember your lines.

“Then you’ll keep that slutty mouth of yours shut the next time,” Jimin responds with another strike, and this time he can feel the way your muscles clench around his cock, and he swears under his breath, grabbing a handful of your ass to keep him grounded. “Fuck, I can feel your tight little ass around my cock. What a disgusting whore you are, so desperate to get fucked up the ass, hmm?”

Jimin spits again, and his saliva lands right on his cock buried in your ass. He withdraws the tip just a little to work his spit into your ass, as he delivers more spanks. You manage to bite back your cries until the twelfth strike, where you barely whimper against the sheets, but Jimin’s keen ears pick it up. His hips work to drive his cock another inch into your ass, spreading your cheeks apart so that the camera captures every sordid detail.

His cock isn’t the biggest you’ve ever taken, but having him slowly go deeper into your ass like this somehow makes it feel as if he’s stretching you out so good. Your muscles are trembling and you can barely remember to keep your back arched for the camera and Jimin, but if he feels this big in your ass only two inches in, how is he going to feel when he’s balls deep? You clench involuntarily around him on that thought, and a part of you is tempted to just fuck the script and make him bury himself inside your ass fully.

Jimin completes the fifteen slaps sooner than you would have liked, and he rewards you with a kiss between your shoulder blades as he smooths his hands over your ass, pulling his dick out slowly to watch your ass gape for him and the camera.

“Fuck, that’s so hot. Turn around and legs spread, whore, I want to fuck you now,” Jimin climbs onto the bed on his knees, hand on his cock guiding himself to your soaked entrance.

His hands grip the back of your knees, forcing your thighs apart for him as he sinks his cock into your pussy. The burn of his penetration nearly makes your eyes roll back into your head- the satisfying girth of him stretches you wide in ways that you’ve never felt before. Jimin works his way deep into your pussy with small strokes, finally bottoming out with your legs on his shoulders and his balls against your ass.

“How are you so fucking tight still? After fucking so many men,” Jimin grunts as he secures your thighs against his chest, leaning over your body and folding you in half. “How many cocks have you had other than mine? Answer me!”

His mouth is against your neck, teeth sinking into your flesh as he marks you. Between his deep thrusts hitting your cervix and his hands around your neck, the cold metal of his rings digging into your skin, it’s all you can do to summon your lines from the recesses of your memory. “Just o-one Sir, I swe-ar, please.”

“Stupid fucking whore,” he growls as he slaps your cheek hard. “How dare you fucking lie to me? Your slutty pussy needs to be stuffed with cock all the time, and you dare tell me you only fucked one other man? I’ll say it was at least five. Five cocks have been in this whore cunt. Tell me, did you make them take turns? Or did you get fucked by two dicks at once?”

“I di-didn’t, please, I’m sorry Sir,” your voice comes in sobs and whines. You scrabble for purchase against his still clothed torso, and you wish you could feel his heated skin under your fingers, mark him with your nails.

“Did you let them cum inside?” Jimin demands again, drawing back and pushing your thighs to your chest so that he can see his cock spreading your pussy lips apart, see your tiny little clit practically begging for attention. “Tell me!”

“No, I didn’t,” you answer him immediately, and something about the possessiveness of his voice seems a little too real, the jealous glint in his eyes that fuels his anger sends a very real thrill that sings through your veins. All you can see is his dark eyes as he fucks into you with his cock, and it is a gaze that is all-consuming, a gaze that makes you forget about all the cameras and the crew, erases them from the background until it is just you and him alone.

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll fuck all their cum out of you,” Jimin holds your legs apart as he drives himself deeper into your cunt, stopping when he’s balls deep. “No one can ever fuck you as deep and hard as I can.”

The sounds of skin against skin resonates throughout the set, accompanied by your whines and sobs as Jimin sneaks a hand down to rub your clit even though it isn’t in the script. Caught unaware by his sudden move, it sends you over the edge as you orgasm around him, walls clenching deliciously and body contorting under his grip, screaming his name. He fucks you through your orgasm without missing a beat, and you moan and thrash under his grip from overstimulation, but Jimin only grips your waist with both hands.

“Take it, fucking take my cock, you whore,” he demands as sweat drips down his forehead. “I’m gonna cum so deep inside your pussy, and you’re taking every drop. After that you’re going to walk out of here with cum dripping down your thighs so that everyone knows what a cum slut you are. My favourite little cumslut.”

His thrusts are getting harder and sloppier as a few assistants crowd around behind him, ready to deliver the fake cumshot, but Jimin waves them away impatiently. He can feel his balls churning with the biggest load of his life, and with the camera trained on your bouncing tits, he glances at the director to let him know he’s ready. With the director’s go ahead, he skips to his final few lines just before he cums.

“You ready for my cum, slut? Say it, I want to hear you beg me to cum inside you.” Jimin slaps your cheek once with measured strength. “Fucking beg, or else I’ll finish all over your tits instead.”

“Fuck, no please, don’t cum on my tits,” your mouth is open, clinging on to Jimin’s shoulders as he fucks you into the bed, pounding your cunt with every last bit of strength he has. “In my pussy, please cum in my pussy. I want it, so fucking bad, please sir!”

Jimin is apparently pleased with your begging, and he rewards you with a rare smile, stroking your cheek to soothe the stinging slap he gave you earlier. “Good girl… that’s my cumslut.”

You glance down to where his cock is fucking in and out of your pussy, and Jimin focuses the rest of his attention to hitting you as deep as possible, throwing his head back and letting out a strangled moan as he cums deep inside you, filling you with warm, real cum for the first time in any of your shoots. The real stuff feels so good, so wet and messy, and Jimin’s cock twitching against your walls feels intimate as he thrusts to prolong his orgasm.

From your vantage point you have a front row seat to watch Park Jimin as he revels in his pleasure, and everything from his moans to the way he throws his head back is entirely intoxicating, and you find yourself squeezing your walls around him to prolong his pleasure.

“Fuck, that’s my whore,” he pants as he slowly comes back to his senses, allowing the camera to zoom in on your cunt as he slowly slips out of your used core.

Following the tradition of every one of his videos, Park Jimin gets on his elbows and spreads your pussy lips wide, showing off the globs of real cum that drip from your center as you squeeze your walls to make it even messier. He whispers praise against your skin as he dips two fingers into the unholy mess and coats your clit with it, rubbing you to a final orgasm that makes you whimper and moan, fingers clutching the sheets and hips bucking under his grasp.

“And that’s a cut! Well done everyone!” The director interrupts with a gleeful clapping of his hands, but to your surprise, Jimin doesn’t move from his position between your thighs, not even when his manager comes up behind him with his robe and a bottle of water.

He is still staring at his cum leaking in a steady stream from your pussy, running his fingers through it and playing with your folds with an intrigued look on his face. When you make a move to get up, he glances at you first, then at his manager.

“Hyung, just give me a minute?” Jimin directs this at Sejin, and the older man looks a little confused, but nods and turns away. Around the two of you, all the crew is starting to dismantle the equipment and hurrying around, but Jimin remains focused on you. “Can I?”

“C-can you… what?” Now that the scene is over and the cameras are off, it’s as if the spell has been broken, you are once again self-conscious and all too aware of how vulnerable you seem to be around this man. When Jimin dips his eyes to your pussy and back up to your eyes, your heart nearly stops in your chest. He can’t possibly be… why would he want to…?

“Can I?” Jimin strokes his thumbs against your inner thighs softly, placing a gentle kiss on one side as he licks his lips. “Please? I really want to.”

Breathless, you nod at him, afraid that one more word out of you will make Jimin realise exactly what he’s offering to do, and that he’ll snap out of his lust induced haze. And then gone will be that genuine smile that lights up his entire face, only to be replaced by the condescending smirk that you know all too well.

Jimin starts with wet kisses on both inner thighs, kissing his way to your soaked lips as he begins to gently lick up his spilled cum, gathering it with his fingers to make sure he gets every last drop. This is the scene that you’d been waiting for all this time, clicked through nearly a hundred of his videos in vain. But nothing could compare to seeing it live and up close in person like this. Watching him eat you out when there are no cameras around is strangely intimate, what’s even weirder is the way he maintains eye contact as he continues to suck at your clit, his own cum smeared around his lips as he eats your pussy as if it’s the best dessert in the world.

“Delicious,” he draws back and wipes the back of his mouth with his hand. “Your pussy tastes exactly like how I imagined it. Better with my cum too.”

You clear your throat, still a little sore from deepthroating him earlier as you awkwardly close your legs and scoot away from him, feeling a burning desire to get as far away from this damned man as you can before he sees right through you. “Do you do that with all your co-stars?”

“Would you be jealous if I did?” He shoots you a cocky little wink as he gets to his feet, reaching over to help you up from the bed with his hands around your waist, dipping down to inspect a few bruises on your neck with his fingers. His touches are so gentle and tender that they don’t hurt at all, but you brush him away.

“Jealous? Who? Me?” You laugh it off as Wendy hands you your robe and you snuggle into the warmth of it. As you hide your naked body from his view, your walls come back up, and the defensive mask slides back into place. “You wish, Park. Although I might have to be a little concerned, since fake cum tastes like shit.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know,” he shrugs. “I only eat the real stuff, and it wasn’t bad, for a first taste.”

Jimin lets his eyes linger on yours for a few moments to allow his words sink in before he turns away to pull on a pair of grey sweatpants and perhaps review the footage a little. “Rest well before next week.”

This is just ironic. Plain and simple, Park Jimin is trying to mess with you.

The second script is a cardinal sin. That’s all you can describe it as. Father Park Jimin with a Catholic schoolgirl confessing her sins in a confession booth.

You run your fingers through your hair in distress. Noting that the costume requirements are red plaid skirt and white shirt. As you read through the entire script, it is a short one, but still present are the elements of degradation and humiliation that require you to position yourself as subservient to the man who shattered your hopes and dreams all those years ago.

It must be a coincidence. There’s no way Park Jimin remembers exactly what he said to you all those years ago.

For you, it might have been a life or death experience that remains etched in your memory forever. But for him, it was just another day on another set humiliating some poor rookie. 

It’s fine. You did it once before and you survived. So who’s to say you won’t survive this one either? You are stubborn and obstinate, you refuse to write that damn email to Jimin and tell him you can’t do this. So you just have to pussy up and fucking commit to this, dammit. Just two more damn shoots.

You have to give it to him though, he is pretty creative as a scriptwriter himself. Or maybe these are just his lewd fantasises? 

Thankfully there’s nothing in this script that requires any preparation, other than learning your lines. Over the next few days as you go about your routine on none schedule days- working out at the gym, indulging in wine and movies, you can’t help but keep the pit of nerves at bay in your stomach. Acknowledging them would give it too much power over you.

When shoot day comes, you nervously change into the outfit provided for you once you reach on set. Donning these clothes bring with them a hoard of heart pounding memories and associations, and it’s all that you can do not to throw up right then and there. You are unusually sweaty as you sit in the chair for hair and makeup.

“Everything okay?” Your makeup artist checks in with you as she powders your nose for the third time. “Nervous?”

You pretend to laugh it off a little. “Yeah, a bit.”

“From what I heard, you and Jimin killed it last shoot,” she grins at you as she replaces the cap on one of her lip glosses. “Don’t need to sweat. Just keep doing whatever you did last time.”

You accept her encouragement with a strained smile even as you stare at yourself in the mirror. From your vantage point, it feels as if you have regressed to that shy, insecure girl from five years ago- you might as well be looking at her now. The same scared expression, except maybe the clothes are better fitting and you’ve definitely grown into your body a little.

“Ready?” The director’s assistant pops her head in with a smile. “We’re all set up and raring to go.”

Shakily, you get up from your chair and follow her with a wobble in your step and an uneven breath. The plaid skirt is tight around your waist and restricts your breathing a little, but you force it to the back of your mind as you see Jimin adjusting his robe. Today he has his hair in a deep side part off his forehead with circle glasses perched at the end of his nose. The rest of him is concealed in long priest robes, and when he spots you, his face lights up.

“______! What do you think of my outfit?” He flourishes his robes and raises his eyebrows. Typical of him to ask someone to tell him how good he looks. Park Jimin looks damn good alright, and he knows it, but it’s not enough unless someone compliments him.

“Very, um… sinful,” you offer him half-heartedly before turning away to let your stylist adjust your hair. You are not in the mood to jibe with him today, even less to stroke his ego.

“What did you think of the script? You didn’t reply to my email, and I realised I don’t have your phone number so I can’t contact you except through your manager, so…” Jimin frowns as he turns to face you. “Ironic, isn’t it?”

His comment catches you off guard. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“Me. Committing a cardinal sin. Like I said all those years ago,” Jimin casually turns to face the set, fluffing his hair with a careless hand. “I’m really getting my just desserts, aren’t I?”

A sharp intake of breath betrays your surprise, and you cross your arms tightly over your chest, wanting so badly to just disappear right at that moment. He remembers? He can’t have. Why would someone like Park Jimin remember some fleeting comment he made about not wanting to fuck a rookie? Sure, it may have cut deep for you, but surely for him it can’t have been that memorable. Is he doing all this just to mess with you? What could he possibly want?

“_____? Why aren’t you saying anything?” Jimin’s expression turns sombre as the cocky look on his face disappears. “Is it the script? Is it too much? I can change it if you need me to-“

“Is this some kind of joke?” You accuse him, deciding to just strike first with aggression rather than risk being ridiculed in front of the entire crew later. “Some kind of sick little torture to recreate… this? For your own twisted pleasure?”

Faced with your overly defensive posture reminds him that he’s not dealing with that girl from five years ago anymore. You have changed, the years hardening you over and coating you in a hard little shell that’s almost impossible to break through. Jimin almost wonders why you always immediately assume that everyone is out to belittle or hurt you, but then he realises with a guilty start that it’s partially his own fault.

Blame it all on the stupid arrogant jerk he was five years ago.

“No, it’s not a joke, and neither is it some petty revenge,” Jimin says as calmly as he can. “I don’t know if its sunken in by now, but I told you before that in my shoots, my girls have all the power. So yes, at surface level it may seem like I’m dominating and humiliating you, but what the camera doesn’t see is that you are the one who controls me. A single word from you and I stop.”

His breath is stuck somewhere in his chest. Never before has he felt so vulnerable in front of someone else. Not only do you seem to throw a wrench in the casual uninterested disposition he’s carved out for himself with it comes to his co-stars, there’s something about the way you truly hold his heart in the palm of your hand, even if you don’t know it yet.

Your eyes are brimming with disbelief, posture still defensive as the director calls for everyone to take their places. But you remain silent, thinking his words over as you heed the instructions given by the crew. Jimin follows you closely till you stop just outside the small wooden confession box.

His hands are slightly sweaty as he steps in front of you. Reaching out slowly, to gauge your reaction, Jimin gently places his hand on your chin to tilt your head up towards him. “I’ve always been a believer in actions speaking louder than words. I know you still think of me as that arrogant small dicked jerk who can’t think about anyone other than himself. But let me prove to you that I’ve changed. That’s why I wrote this scene. I want to show you that you are the one in control of me, not the other way around.”

Looking into your eyes, Jimin can see the residual fear and trauma leftover from that incident all those years ago. Silently he begs for a chance, knowing full well that you could just walk out right now and he can’t do a damn thing. Just one chance for him to remedy his mistakes and prove to you that he’s a changed man.

“Let’s get this over with,” you say as you turn and step inside the box, and Jimin lets out a sigh of relief as a staff member ushers him into the other side.

Your knees are shaking slightly as you perch on the chair inside the confession box. Separating you and Jimin is a mesh screen that obscures most of his features, and on the table in front of you are a few props- some candles, a rosary and a fake Bible that looks almost real.

“Scene one rolling in three, two, one… action!”

You pick up the rosary in front of you, feeling the beads with your fingers as you settle into your role, trying your best to drown out your obsessive thoughts and worries. The dark confession booth lends you some anonymity- you’re sure that the lighting has been purposely fixed so that the camera can only catch a glimpse of your silhouette.

“Father, forgive me, for I have sinned,” you recite your first line, clasping the rosary beads in your hands and bowing your head in repentance. “I have come here to confess, Father, to a terrible sin that has been occupying my mind and soul for the past few weeks.”

“Pray, tell my child. What is bothering you?” Jimin’s low, soothing voice comes from the other side. “The truth shall set you free.”

“In school, I can’t concentrate on the lessons, and in mass, my mind is always somewhere else… lately I’ve been feeling so restless, Father,” you sigh, resting your head in your hands. “My thoughts haven’t exactly been… pure.”

There is a brief noise from the other side, as if Jimin is shifting in his seat. “What kind of thoughts are you having? Child, if you do not come clean with me, I cannot cleanse you of your sins.”

You play it up for the camera as it focuses on your face, wearing an expression of conflict, embarrassment and distress all in one. This script that Jimin wrote really tests your acting abilities. “U-unholy ones, Father. They get worse at night, when it’s just me alone in my bed… I can’t help it, it just gets so unbearable…”

“Child, sins of the flesh are against the Holy Scripture,” Jimin clucks in disappointment, and you can feel his look of disapproval singe your skin directly, even though you can’t even see his face. “What do you do in your bed when you’re all alone? Are you engaging with these unholy thoughts? Come clean with your Father if you want absolution.”

“I…” you swallow hard in embarrassment, pressing your thighs tightly together as you tug your skirt down, playing the role of the innocent school girl. The skirt is barely long enough for you to sit on, so you can feel your ass, left bare by the thong you’re wearing underneath it, come into direct contact with the chair underneath you. “I… I touch myself, Father.”

Another sigh of disappointment from Jimin as you hear him flipping a few pages of the fake Bible. “You have to be more specific, my child. Where do you touch yourself? Tell me, or else I cannot help you, and you shall be damned to Hell.”

“M-my… I touch myself… down there,” you whimper, feeling yourself dampen against your thong as you start to grind into the chair, thighs parting sinfully as the camera relocates itself to between your legs. You give it a few glimpses of your covered core as your hips rotate slowly. “Please don’t make me say any more, Father… it’s so sinful, so embarrassing, and I…”

There is a slam on the other side as if Jimin has closed the Bible forcefully. “A sinful whore like you, embarrassed? I think not. Look at yourself. Confessing to your Father that you touch yourself, and you can’t even bring yourself to say the word ‘pussy’. You think you’re still an innocent little girl, but your actions tell me otherwise. Go on with your confession, slut. We’re not done yet.”

You whimper as your thong is getting more and more soaked, and your breasts are heaving against your tight shirt. “I… I think about it at school too, Father. At mass. I sneak out in the middle to rub myself in the toilet, and then I… I come back to mass. Sweaty and my fingers still sticky.”

“In school too?” Father Jimin’s voice is a low purr now that sends shockwaves all the way to your core, and you can’t help but rub yourself against the chair, legs parting all the way. To a certain extent, the embarrassment on your cheeks is real, for Jimin has yet to touch you or even see you to get you this worked up, and even though you despise it, his degrading and humiliating words only serve to spur you on and add to your performance.

He surely knows how to bring out the best of you.

“What about boys?” Father Jimin suddenly demands. “Do you have a boyfriend? Do you let him touch your sweet little pussy? Put his fingers inside you at mass while you recite the Holy Scripture? Rub your pretty little clit until your sinful mouth cries out? I bet a little slut like you wants all the cock she can get. Tell me, do you lift your little plaid skirt for any boy who passes by?”

Hearing the jealousy and possessiveness in his voice only sends a fresh wave of arousal to soak your panties, and at this point you’re pretty sure that the chair is wet too.

“No! No Father Jimin, no boys,” you beg and plead earnestly. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Jimin makes a low groan in his throat, a noise that makes your nipples ache. “Fuck, then you’re a tease. Nothing but a little cocktease. Look at you. Do you really think I don’t know you’re rubbing your little pussy against the chair while you confess your sins?”

You gasp in shock as the script calls for, hips immediately stilling. “Father Jimin, please, I can’t help myself.”

“If I have any say in it, your sweet pussy will remain pure and untouched except by the Father himself,” Jimin groans lowly from the other side, and you can hear his slight panting. “Tell me, my child. Do you want to receive forgiveness for your carnal sins?”

“Yes,” you gasp immediately, feeling your hips jerk and your clit catch deliciously against the chair through your soaked underwear. “Please, Father forgive me. For I have sinned.”

“Ask and you shall be rewarded, seek and you shall find,” Jimin says as he gets up from his chair. “Bend over the table for me, sweet child.”

Raising yourself on shaky legs, you prop the upper half of your body on the table, back arched as the camera relocates behind you to give Jimin time to cross over from his side of the confession booth. You can feel your thigh high socks rub against each other as your thighs chafe in your impatience.

“Look how slutty you are in your school uniform… fuck, boys would be all over this ass in an instant,” Jimin gives you a harsh spank to your right cheek, and you gasp and writhe under him. “In order for me to rid you of your sins, I have to thoroughly cleanse you here.”

His fingers massage your ass, splitting your cheeks open and revealing your most intimate places to him and the camera. Jimin runs his fingers along your inner thigh, just shy of your thigh high socks, up until he brushes against your swollen pussy lips. The crotch of your little white thong is soaked, and Jimin uses his fingers to push it into your pussy.

“That’s it, sweet child… show Father Jimin all your sins,” he massages your panties deeper into your pussy with two fingers. “Show Father Jimin how sweet your pussy looks when its stuffed.”

“Father,” you whine low in your throat, wiggling your ass against his thighs. To which he responds with a sharp spank on your left cheek that smarts.

“On your knees, harlot,” Father Jimin commands, pulling you off the table by your hair and taking a seat on your chair, spreading his legs. “I think you need a taste of the Holy Staff to cleanse that impure mouth of yours.” He parts his robes to reveal his dress pants, unzipping and revealing his cock, red and throbbing with precum already leaking out of it. “Time for Holy Communion, my sweet child. Open up wide and receive the gift of Christ.”

You feel the saltiness of his cock against your tongue as he slides in deep, spearing your throat open as he thrusts into your face. Jimin’s balls brush against your chin as you swallow him deep, tears springing to your eyes as he controls your movements with his hand buried in your hair. You are choking and gasping around his cock noisily, and Jimin just eats up every single sound as he continues to ravish your mouth mercilessly.

From his viewpoint, seeing you on your knees has Jimin confident enough that he can muster up two loads for this scene. He just wants to watch your mouth fill with his cum, watch you swallow every drop of his salty essence, and show him your empty mouth after that.

“Suck me, yes, good, just like that, harlot,” Jimin demands as he pushes you down on his cock. “Suck your Father and feel my cum fill your mouth. Swallow down my blessing, so that you may strive for the salvation and absolution that you so seek.”

He can feel you twitch in surprise at the sudden demand for you to swallow his cum, but you sink down on his cock readily, looking up at him with wide and innocent eyes that nearly makes him blow his load right then and there. He looks off to the side to the director to gain his approval before Jimin starts to thrust again, feeling his balls tighten. With a strangled groan, Jimin feels his cock swell in your perfect mouth between those red lips, and he unleashes a torrent of bitter, salty cum into your mouth, swearing as you suckle on his cock like an infant, coaxing every drop from him.

“Swallow every drop,” Jimin pulls away from your mouth, his spent length twitching. You flash him a naughty little smirk as you clean a drop of cum from your mouth salaciously, opening your mouth to show him the reservoir of cum inside before your throat swallows, and you show him your empty mouth.

“Enough, harlot,” he declares as he pulls you up. Jimin watches as you pant desperately for air, tear stained cheeks and precum staining your chin. “You have dabbled in impure and unholy thoughts, my child. Sins of the flesh must be purified, for your body is a gift from God and not a receptacle for lust. Your body must be kept pure and untouched except for the man God intends you to marry and have babies with.”

Jimin leans back, thighs spread as his eyes linger over your thighs. “Sweet child, have you followed the rules of the Catholic Church? Are you on birth control, or any form of contraception that isn’t allowed by the Church?”

“N-no, Father,” you whimper. “My body is pure and untouched, as nature intended it to be.”

A pleased yet somehow also wicked smile crosses his face, but vanishes just a second later. “Good, my child. Be seated on your Father’s lap.”

“And cut!” The director yells, and Jimin lets go of you immediately, his spent length limp against his inner thigh. You turn around to watch a stylist clean him up carefully, an odd sensation in your throat when you see how unbothered Jimin is as he lets random strangers touch his soft cock.

Jimin is coated in a thin sheen of sweat, his thick, plush lips parted and looking like the devil himself as he gulps down some water that someone hands him, running his hand through his sweat soaked hair. Droplets of water travel down his neck as he drinks carelessly from the bottle, and you can feel your core pulse painfully. He catches you looking at him as an assistant sponges his soft cock, and he raises his eyebrows before glancing down at his crotch.

You step outside to have a few breaths of fresh air.

Jimin looks over at you as his stylist removes his circle glasses for a polish. “Doing okay? First half was intense.”

In your mind’s eye you have no doubt that you look wrecked beyond belief. Cheeks flushed with arousal, nipples hard and straining against your thin shirt- they didn’t give you a bra today- and you try and tamp down your embarrassment, replacing it with professionalism instead as you give him a taciturn nod. “Was alright.”

Someone hands you a bottle of water and you gulp gratefully. You can feel the wet stickiness between your thighs start to drip, and hope to whatever deity residing above you that Jimin can’t smell it.

“You were doing great,” Jimin says unexpectedly, getting up and tucking himself back into his pants just for modesty’s sake, especially as he moves closer to you. “Really got me so fucking turned on without even seeing you.” With his nose and lips dangerously close to your neck, you can feel your heart pounding against your ribs. “Now I know why you’re so good at what you do. The innocent yet naughty thing really works for you.” Jimin gives you his greasy little smile that doesn’t make you feel as disgusted as you thought you would be and is almost… endearing?

And as a scriptwriter he knew perfectly well what kind of role would suit you. You didn’t see it before, but you’re able to show off your innocent charm in the best ways possible with this script, and Jimin as an actor complements you perfectly as well. 

As much as you try to deny it- you have to admit that this man turns you on. Park Jimin has this intriguing charisma with his offscreen personality that draws you in. Although it’s a whiplash from his cold, domineering onscreen persona, you can’t say that his dominance isn’t equally arousing either- it’s all just so confusing. You never thought you’d enjoy letting the most hated man in your life dominate you, but here you are, getting wet after a few insults from him.

“Can I kiss you?” He says suddenly, and you realise he’s been staring at your lips for a while. 

The question shocks you to your core, and you take a step back involuntarily but Jimin follows your body with his, his hand coming around your back, but not touching your skin. Around you, various crew are still running around changing the lighting and modifying the set and doing who knows what, so no one is paying any attention to the two of you. Jimin still holds your hand in his as he stands with his body mere inches away from yours. “Just once. Please.”

You realise you’ve never kissed any of your co-stars before, much less outside of a scene. Jimin looks at you so earnestly that you almost can’t recognise him as the man who so cruelly put you down all those years ago, nor can you reconcile it with your perception of him as a selfish, cold bastard. Your head dips ever so slightly, and Jimin grins as he leans in.

His lips are soft and pleasant against yours, a very relaxed kiss with him leading and his hand soft against your back. It seems to be over far too quickly though, for he pulls back with a genuine smile on his lips.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I saw you that day in the locker room,” he admits as he glances away, rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture that you recognise as embarrassment.

The great Park Jimin, embarrassed? You must be seeing things. He grins at your expression and boldly takes your hand in his, pulling you to feel his crotch where his cock is hard, again. In a mere span of minutes, just from kissing you alone.

Your cheeks heat up, whether in embarrassment, arousal, or flattery, you have no idea. But Park Jimin doesn’t seem the least bit ashamed as he palms his cock with your hand over it, licking his sinful, thick lips as he admires the curve of your neck, the soft flesh that he wants to mark with his teeth.

“It… it wasn’t a bad kiss,” you begrudgingly allow him to grin at your half-hearted compliment. “Not the best, though.”

You feel Jimin chuckle briefly against your neck, his breath skimming your heated skin. “Playing hard to get. I love it. You’re better than Viagra for me, sweetheart.”

Before you can react to the tender nickname, the director calls for everyone to take their places, and you step away from him with your heart pounding, back into your side of the confession booth. Standing in front of the chair as per where you left off last time, you feel more than see Jimin follow you into your side now. His thighs brush against your ass as he sits down, getting his once again hard cock out of his pants before he places his hands on your waist. With your back to him it’s easier to calm your racing heart even as you prepare yourself for the next scene.

“It’s gonna get a little rough from here on, you know that right?” Jimin’s voice is a low murmur as you feel his hands on your waist soothingly. “Just remember you can tap out anytime. You have all the power.”

“Okay.” You turn your cheek to the side to get a glimpse of him smiling back at you. Once the director starts rolling, however, it disappears entirely into a cold mask again, and porn star actor Park Jimin is back.

You turn and step backwards, feeling his hands on your waist guiding you as you start to sit down. His cock brushes against your ass, and you whimper in fear as the script calls, struggling to stand up again.

“Shhhh, my child, do not be afraid, for your Father is here,” Jimin whispers, pulling you firmly down and spreading your thighs for the camera. His sticky cockhead brushes against your inner thighs, and you fight against his strength as Jimin seeks to impale your tiny virgin hole with his cock. “My beautiful child, cursed and sinful harlot, are you ready to receive your anointing? Are you ready for the Holy Spirit to enter your impure body and cleanse you from the inside out?”

Your pussy is still wet and dripping despite the cut, and you can almost feel Jimin smirk as he takes in the implications of this.

“Yes, Father Jimin please… please enter me,” your legs are trembling as Jimin slowly lowers you onto his cock, and the head of him breaches your entrance.

“Lower yourself fully, my child, and accept your position at the Lord’s feet where you belong,” Father Jimin pulls you to sit fully upon him, cock now buried deep in your supposedly virgin pussy as you cry out. He bends to gather your thighs in his grip, fully opening your legs and exposing your stuffed cunt to the camera, bidding you to rest your full weight upon him. “Recite your rosary, sweet child, and rejoice in your blessing.”

And then he begins to fuck up into your cunt with measured strokes, reciting a prayer under his breath as he does so. His hands grip your thighs apart and his thrusts are harsh, punishing against you as his cock bottoms out all the way to your womb.

“Fuck, this sweet pussy, meant to be used for your Father’s pleasure, meant to worship your Father’s cock with reverence,” Father Jimin pants as he watches his cock disappear into your pussy. “You won’t let any other boy touch it, will you my sweet? Only Father Jimin.”

“O-only Father Jimin,” you repeat after him as he fondles your clit with his expert fingers that makes you wail and thrash on top of him, the camera zooming in to capture your expression as your orgasm around him, switching to your pussy to focus on how it grips him like perfect velvet.

His thrusts are speeding up and getting sloppy now- you recognise the cadence of it as he races for his climax.

“Are you ready to receive your blessing, harlot?” Father Jimin growls as he tightens a hand around your throat, cutting off your air supply. “F-fuck, forgive me, God!” He groans loudly as his hips thrust a few more times and he is spilling into your depths, filling you up with his second load of the day, covering your cervix with his thick, warm anointment and blessing.

You can do nothing but writhe on his cock as your walls clench around him, feeling your womb swell with his gifts. He is still twitching and spurting inside you; it feels strangely intimate for him to hold you as he comes down from his high. Whether it’s because Park Jimin is the first man to ever cum inside you bare like this, or if it’s because of something else, you’ll never know. The camera focuses on his rapidly softening cock as it slips from your pussy, cream immediately leaking from your centre and dripping down your ass and inner thighs.

Jimin’s fingers skim down your body to play with the remnants of his offering left at your altar, and his other hand is over your lower belly suggestively. His fingers slide over your dripping slit, gathering up some of his cum mixed with your arousal as he brings it up to your clit, rubbing and pinching as you continue to leak his cum all over his softening cock that is resting against your inner thigh.

With a cry, you cum again, swollen cunt clenching around nothing and oozing more of his cum out. Jimin soothes you with a few kisses to your neck that feels oddly intimate, and are definitely not in the script as you come down from your high. 

His lips are poised close to your ear as he delivers the final lines of the scene. “My sweet child, I have a feeling you’ll be back here with another confession in 9 months. May your time away from me bear fruit.”

“CUT! Brilliant, amazing, I was blown away!” The director claps his hands as you sag against Jimin, thighs slipping off his frame. “Someone help them clean up, and it’s a wrap! Thank you!”

Jimin situates you more firmly on his lap so that you won’t fall off, carefully helping you stand up as his cum leaks from your centre. An assistant hands you a wet tissue and you take a few steps away from Jimin so you can clean yourself up, but he follows you, snatching the wet tissue from you and cleaning your inner thighs himself.

“Jimin, stop, I can do it myself,” you start to protest, but it seems like nothing can stand in the way of Jimin’s obsession with his cum on you. He purposely catches a glob of it on his finger and brings it to his mouth, making eye contact with you as he licks his finger sinfully.

“Any chance of doing a sequel with that?” Jimin grins perversely, pushing himself to stand as he hands the used wipe to an assistant. “The title can be, ‘Blessed with my Father’s Baby’. What do you think?”

“I’m not doing a pregnancy porn shoot with you, Park,” you roll your eyes and put on the robe your manager hands you. “If that’s the last script, consider me out. I’m breaking the contract.”

Even as you walk out with Jimin’s amused gaze still on your back, a thought occurs to you that this shoot wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. There was no signs of the panic attacks, traumatic memories and actual, real humiliation even though you spent most of the scene grovelling at Park Jimin’s feet, sucking his cock and being used thoroughly by him. In fact, as you walk away from the man himself, you start to realise that maybe he is right about this whole domination business—you had the upper hand all along.

The last scene is so unlike the previous two that you have to pause and make sure that the sender of the email is Park Jimin. After you confirmed it three times, you click back to the pdf file and read it through again, just to make sure you’re not seeing things.

A newly-wed couple on their wedding night, consummating their marriage for the first time.

You swallow hard, noting that there isn’t any of the dominance and humiliation that Jimin usually has in his scripts. Instead, it seems to require intimacy and chemistry between the two actors, seeing as there are barely any lines for you to memorise. All he’s given you is a brief premise and description of positions from start to finish, and at the end he put a director’s note that all of this is to be very loosely followed.

The premise of the script remains in your mind even as you go through your workouts at the gym. Sweat drips down your face as you increase the speed on the treadmill, wishing that life was as easy as just running away from all your problems like this.

Can you even act that well? Jimin seems to have too much faith in your acting skills, though you know that he probably has no problem mustering up the appropriate emotions for this scene. But you on the other hand… your feelings towards Jimin have been getting more and more confusing. If this goes on any longer, it’ll be hard for you to draw a firm line between the two of you, much less keep on convincing yourself that he is the selfish, proud and egotistical bastard you always thought he was.

Why does he have to write such a corny and awful script? This will really put your acting skills to the test. You swear at him under your breath as you punch the stop button on the treadmill, grabbing your towel and stepping off. Taking a swig of your water, you continue to curse his obnoxiously handsome face as you walk to the locker room—

“Did you just say my name?” A familiar voice startles you and you nearly drop your phone as you turn around.

Jimin has his silver hair slightly matted and damp, sticking to his forehead. He’s obviously here for a workout, dressed in a thin white shirt that is see through with his sweat, and some workout shorts that show off the thickness of his thighs. You’ve never seen him in anything but a suit or perfectly pressed dress pants, and you can’t help but let your eyes wander over how built his physique is. Slim, yet wiry, he is the epitome of sleek, elegant power as he pushes his sweaty hair off his forehead, giving you a glimpse of his firm biceps as he does so.

“Wh-when did you start coming to this gym?” You avert your gaze by taking a gulp of water.

“Since I heard you went here,” he grins shamelessly, stopping at the water cooler for a refill.

This is the first time you’ve interacted with him outside of a porn shoot, and even though you’ve practically seen his dick, had it inside you, done all sorts of sordid things with him— you feel awkward around him, especially when you think about the shoot you’ll have to do with him soon.

“I’ll um… see you tomorrow then. Ha-have a good workout,” you mumble under your breath, making a wide berth around him to head for the lockers and showers. The stutter in your voice makes you cringe.

“Hey— you didn’t get back to me about the script. Is it okay?” Jimin turns off the tap at the water cooler and follows you for a few steps.

You turn back to him and study his face carefully. He doesn’t seem to be teasing you or making fun of you, in fact he is completely serious. Should you be honest and tell him what you’re really worried about, or should you beat around the bush?

“… it’s a different script. Different from what you usually do,” you finally say.

Jimin shrugs, unperturbed. “Different, yes. But different is good, and I wanted to try something new since… since it’s with you. I thought since our last two shoots were more of my style, we could incorporate yours for the final one. So that there’s some kind of balance. Is there a problem? Or did you change your mind about that pregnancy shoot?”

His little teasing voice makes your cheeks heat up involuntarily. You are irritated with yourself, at how you always seem to be at a loss for words around him, at how he always affects you just so.

“It’s just… it’s very brief. I’m not sure I know how you want it to go.” You fret with your hands a little, avoiding eye contact with Jimin. “If there were more lines, more stage directions, more things like that. I’d feel more confident about doing it with you.”

“Ah, it’s about that,” Jimin makes a humming noise in his throat as he considers your words. “I purposely didn’t include many scripted lines because I thought it wouldn’t fit with how I envisioned this entire scene to go. In my mind I saw two lovers, passionate yet innocent, celebrating their love for the first time. Lines would make everything kind of awkward and artificial, don’t you think? We should let it flow naturally. Get into the mood and character with each other.”

While Jimin is speaking, you can sense that he really does have a passion for acting, and not just the scripted trash that porn actors usually dole out. You’ve witnessed his genuine talent when it comes to immersing himself in a scene, admired him for how he seems to have two sides to his personality, and how he can switch between his on and off screen persona so fluidly.

“I definitely won’t have a problem getting into character. I could help you if you need me to… but somehow I feel like you don’t.” His voice is a low baritone against the shell of your ear, and his words are suggestive. Jimin smiles confidently as he steps closer to you. “At least, I hope by now you don’t think I’m still that stuck up jerk.”

Jimin’s eyes are fixated on your forehead, and he’s so close that you can feel his breath on your skin. He reaches up to wipe a drop of sweat from your forehead, and then his thumb brushes against your cheek. “If you need more stage directions… then let me just say I think we’ll be doing a lot of kissing. A lot.”

He lets his hand drop as he meets your eyes again, waiting for your response as a he grins at you. Jimin drops his eyes to your lips as his tongue dips out to caress his own plush ones. You think back to the last time he kissed you in between scenes, and you can feel your traitorous heart skip a beat in your chest. It flusters you so much that you can only step away from him and throw a hasty goodbye over your shoulder as you flee.

“Last shoot of the contract!” Wendy sings as she brings you your iced coffee. “Are you relieved?”

The useless script sits in front of you as you take a sip from your drink absently. “Why would I be relieved?”

“You get paid after this, and they’ll be releasing the first film shortly after. And I thought you hated Park Jimin, so isn’t it a relief that you won’t have to work with him anymore?”

You consider her words carefully as a few stylists adjust your outfit, hair and makeup. Today you are wearing all white, a lace bralette that skims your waist and accentuates your breasts, along with a pair of matching panties and a garter set. Over it all you have a sheer lace cardigan that drapes over your shoulders. “I don’t exactly… hate him, I guess. He isn’t as bad as I thought he was.”

You set aside the script and take a few sips of your drink before handing it to Wendy, nerves fluttering in your stomach as you follow the assistant director’s cue to get ready on set. As usual, Jimin is already on set and mixing with the crew, but when he sees you, he comes over straightaway.

His eyes are taking you in from head to toe, and for once it’s his turn to be speechless. This is exactly what he fell for the moment Sejin hyung showed him your picture, an angel draped in white. For a moment Jimin actually lets himself believe that all of this is real, that you and him are actually newly-weds waiting to consummate your marriage... all for the sake of helping him get into character, of course. Not for anything else.

“You look beautiful,” he says honestly, nervously putting his hands in his pockets to keep him from running them through his hair and ruining his stylist’s hard work. “I’m a lucky man.”

Jimin is talking as if all of this is real, and it sets you on edge. This is dangerous. You should never have agreed to doing this script in the first place. Out of all the shoots you’ve done with him, you feel as if this is the most nerve wracking and outside your comfort zone you’ve ever been.

It’s all for the shoot, you remind yourself, forcing yourself to put aside your feelings and remain professional. All for the shoot, and nothing else. Since Jimin has a distinction between his on screen and off screen persona, you should have one too.

“Everyone on set, and initial positions please!” The director calls, and Jimin takes your hand in his, leading you to the door frame of the bedroom set they have today.

He pulls you in closer to him, arms around your waist so that your body is touching his intimately. Abruptly his legs give out and you fall into his lap, his arms around your waist and chest to chest with Park Jimin as he grins insufferably. 

You make a sound of protest even as you try to get off his lap- this position is far too intimate, you can feel the heat of his thighs against your core- but Jimin halts your movements with a pout. He nestles you comfortably straddling his hips, eyes glittering as he grins at you. 

“Jimin, filming hasn’t started yet-”

“I know, I know, get into the mood with me? C’mon, I promise it’ll help. We’re supposed to be married, you know.” He plays with a strand of your hair in his fingers, tucking it behind your ear. 

Reluctantly, you start to relax in his lap as you wait for the crew to get ready. Being on his lap like this isn’t all that bad. It isn’t awkward like you thought it would be. Jimin is holding your waist and humming in his throat as he leans in to smell your hair, his lips ghosting against the shell of your ear. Each and every one of his actions is so natural and thoughtless that if you let yourself go for one moment- you could almost believe this is real and not reel. 

The thin layers of your lingerie do nothing to obscure how warm and firm he feels, and you can see Jimin admiring every inch of your body with unabashed hunger in his eyes, and another emotion that you can’t quite identify. Being this close to him has your heart rate and temperature sky rocketing, and you can feel him rapidly growing hard against your stomach. Jimin’s eyes are soft as he leans in to kiss you even before the director says anything else.

Surprisingly, the kiss settles your nerves rather than worsens them, and you feel yourself relaxing into his touch, closing your eyes and forgetting about everyone else other than the man kissing you right now. Jimin is soft and gentle with his touches, even more tender with his kisses today, and your head lolls to the side to give him more access when he starts to kiss down your neck, sucking along your collarbone and pushing your lace cardigan off your shoulder.

Belatedly you realise that filming must have already started— but then why didn’t you hear the director’s voice…? Jimin brings your attention back to him with his wet tongue on your chest, licking and suckling bruises into your skin.

“Can’t fucking believe you’re all mine,” he moans into your skin, sinking his teeth into the lace and pulling it away from your breast, only to let it snap back into place. “After all these years of running from me, finally, you’re here.”

A jolt runs through your frame as you take in his words; they sound way too specific to your situation. To hide your shock, you moan his name and play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Jimin, I—“

“I love you, so much,” Jimin interrupts you as he starts to undo your bra, his eyes bright and lips swollen. To you he looks exactly the same as five minutes ago, you really can’t tell if he’s acting or not. He didn’t But he must be acting— this is a scene, and there’s no way he’s actually in love with you… right?

“I love you too,” you whisper back as your breasts are bared to the camera and to Jimin’s reverent gaze. He takes them in his hands, one nipple in his mouth as he sucks on it, occasionally flicking it with his tongue.

“On the bed, baby. Let me love you like you deserve tonight.” Jimin helps you to lie down on the white canopy bed, and the camera shifts to take in an overhead shot of you on your back as Jimin positions himself between your legs.

From anyone else those lines would have sounded cheesy. Heck, if you knew they were scripted, you would have been struggling not to cringe right then and there. But somehow, knowing that Park Jimin is just throwing himself fully into his character, that he’s fully present with you in this scene makes it hyper realistic, such that if not for the cameras around you, you’d have trouble differentiating between real and reel.

Jimin starts from your bare breasts, kissing his way down your stomach till he reaches the tops of your thighs. This is a Jimin you’ve never seen before. He is soft, loving and looks as if he is content to spend the rest of his life between your thighs worshipping you.

“Wet already? And I haven’t even done much yet,” he smirks as he notices the wet spot on your panties, rubbing his thumb into it so that you can feel your own stickiness on your skin. The camera zooms in to capture the evidence of your arousal, and Jimin slowly starts to peel your panties off, his other hand on your inner thigh, spreading your legs for him as he sucks another bruise into your skin. “Gonna mark you and make you nice and pretty for me, hmmm?”

He spreads you with his thick fingers, examining your most intimate places with a reverent gaze that makes your cheeks heat up. Jimin glances at your reaction with a tiny little chuckle at how cute you are, then he teases you with little licks at your clit that have you mewling and whining under his touch.

“You just need your pussy to be eaten out real good, right baby? No one eats this pussy better than me. Tell me.” Jimin pauses with his lips shining from your arousal.

Being far too used to the dominant side of him, seeing needy little Jimin who aches for your praise nearly makes you cum all over his tongue right away.

“J-Jimin, you’re the only man who can eat me so good,” you weave your fingers into his hair, pulling him closer as you beg for his tongue once more. “Please baby, I- I want to cum. Want your cock now.”

“Begging already?” He grins as he buries his face into your pussy, lewd little sucking sounds emanating as he tastes you from the inside out, tongue delving deep into your folds and spreading you apart for him. “My greedy girl. You’re so sweet, look at this pussy. Dripping so much, and it’s all for me. Can you cum like this for me first?”

Your hips are starting to arch off the bed with every lick and suck he gives you. Park Jimin truly is number one at pussy eating, and to have him praising you like this, calling you his while in between your thighs elicits a flutter in your stomach, a racing of your heart that you can’t seem to control. Jimin allows your hips to move freely, grinding into his face as you ride his tongue to your orgasm, thighs trembling and his name spilling from your lips as he licks every inch of your pussy.

“Jimin.” You whine needily and stretch out your arms for him, and Jimin chuckles as he crawls up the bed to meet your lips with his. You can taste yourself on his lips, but it doesn’t throw you off in the least as your tongues clash and moans spill from the both of you.

“Tell me I did well. Tell me how good I made you feel,” Jimin whispers against your neck. 

Your legs come up to circle his waist, cradling him intimately into your centre, and you can feel his hard cock rub against you. “So, so good, you made me feel so good baby,” your chest heaves as your arch your body into his. “The only man who can make me feel like that.” 

Jimin shifts back onto his knees to admire how fucked out you already look, hair spilling over the pillow and cheeks all flushed, lips swollen from his kisses. He places his hands behind your knees, pushing your thighs back to your chest to further expose your swollen pussy lips and your dripping center to him.

“Fuck, you look so fucking pretty like this,” Jimin caresses the lace garter on your thighs. “All spread out and dripping for me. Say what you want and I’ll give it to you, princess.”

His thumb caresses your clit lightly, and your thighs twitch, a whine spilling from your lips. “Your cock. I want your cock. Fuck me, please.”

“Such a sweet but dirty little mouth,” Jimin grins, satisfied as he reaches down to kiss you again, one hand on his cock and brushing his head against your lips. You can feel his sticky precum spread all over you as he thrusts forward with his fluid hips.

The first stretch of his cock makes you arch your back, and Jimin presses your thighs to your chest further, feeling you tighten around him. He continues to work his cock into your soaked depths, praising you for how tight and good you feel around him as he finally bottoms out. His lips are brushing against your collarbone as his cock grinds against your cervix, but the pain is a welcome one.

You brush a few strands of sweat soaked hair out of his eyes, watching his expression as he closes his eyes and withdraws from your clenching pussy. Today Jimin seems to be closer to the edge than usual even though you didn’t even suck him off, and he seems to be trying his best not to blow his load right now as he delivers hard thrusts into your pussy. He flashes you a shy little grin that makes your stomach flip as your eyes meet, and as you purse your lips to give him a tiny little kiss at the corner of his mouth, that’s when you realise it— you are actually in love with Park Jimin.

Somehow, somewhere along the lines, you stopped acting. Maybe it was never an act all along. But what about Jimin?

“So tight, so pretty, so wet for me,” Jimin grunts into your neck as his hips speed up, cock battering your pussy as you feel yourself dripping all around him, wetness coating his balls and his base. “I can’t wait to start a family with you. Like this. Just the two of us.”

The talk of starting a family once again reminds you that this is a shoot where you’re supposed to be newlyweds.

“Give it to me,” you stroke his cheek with your thumb, smiling up at him gently as he presses your thighs to your chest, grunting with the effort of fucking into you with his cock. “Want your baby.”

As you lock eyes with him, you realise that Jimin isn’t acting either. Unlike the previous shoots where the transition from his offscreen to onscreen persona was painfully obvious, this time Jimin’s face isn’t the cold mask he puts on during shoots. Park Jimin wears all his emotions on his face— and all this while you thought he was a heartless, cold bastard.

Then, it becomes painfully clear to you why he didn’t write any lines for the two of you, simply because they aren’t needed. This intimate gaze between the two of you says it all, and it conveys more than what a few lines ever could. You raise your head to meet his lips again, and the feeling of his cock thrusting in and out of your pussy slowly, his lips against yours and his tongue licking your bottom lip tenderly makes you feel as if you are really lovers.

“I can’t hold it much longer,” Jimin admits, pushing himself onto his knees and letting your legs stretch out to rest on his shoulders. From this here he can see every inch of your beautiful body, breasts bouncing with every thrust of his, and the way your pussy takes his cock so well.

“Cum for me?” You reach down to brush your fingers across his firm abdomen, walls starting to clench around his cock as Jimin circles his thumb around your clit. “Please?”

At the sound of your sweet begging, Jimin decides to throw all caution to the wind and chase his orgasm just how he’s dying to— pounding into your wet cunt with his cock and feeling you clench around him; your little whines and moans egging him on. A few more thrusts inside your warmth and he buries himself as deep as he can go, throwing his head back and exposing his pretty throat as he cums inside you.

The warmth of his cum seeps into your pussy as he fills you up to the brim, even more than he’s ever cum before. Even after he’s done spurting into your depths, Jimin continues to thrust lazily, fucking his cum deeper into you and chasing your lips with his. When his cock has softened too much for him to keep going, he pulls out and positions himself in between your thighs.

“You didn’t cum yet did you baby?”

“N-no, not yet, oh! Jimin, what are you—“ Even though this isn’t the first Jimin eats his cum from your used pussy, it never fails to bring a blush onto your cheeks, watching him slurp and kiss your lower lips messily with his semen all over his chin.

But he licks it all up like it’s the rarest delicacy in the entire world.

You’re so absorbed by his endearing little grin as he licks his plush lips that you almost don’t hear the director call cut.

“Park, _____, this may be your best work yet!” He is starstruck, eyes shining with admiration as he clasps his hands to his chest. “I could really feel all the emotion, for a moment I really believed that you were lovers! Well done, both of you. It’d be my pleasure to work with you again!”

You call out a thanks to the director as you start to get up from the bed, closing your thighs. But Jimin has his arms around your waist and stops you from getting up, pulling you closer into his side. Now, you feel as if it’s time to address the elephant in the room. There was a definite chemistry sparking in between the two of you just now, you’d be a fool to deny it.

“Jimin…”

“Shhh, just a while more. I’m tired.” Jimin whines, pressing a kiss to your lips to quiet you, and his casual yet intimate gesture despite the cameras being off only makes you melt even more. There is a comfortable silence between you for a moment.

“You weren’t acting just now, were you?” You reach out to pinch his cheek, and he grins shamelessly. “You wrote this last scene on purpose. Trying something new my ass.”

“Am I that obvious?” Jimin’s eyes light up with mischief. “But it wasn’t to annoy you this time. I just knew you’d fall in love with me once I made love to you.”

You place a hand on his chest and push him away slightly. “Excuse me? In love? Getting cocky now aren’t we, Mr Park?” 

Jimin doesn’t deny it as he buries his face into your neck, giggling. “Stop or I’ll get hard again.” 

“You get hard by hearing me call you Mr Park?” 

“Can we role-play Fifty Shades next?” Jimin asks. “I think I have a kink for Mr Park. I always wanted to be a rich CEO. Can I gag you with my tie?” 

“You kinky bastard,” you mutter under your breath even as a smile tugs at your lips. “But wait. Our contract is over.”

Jimin hums in thought as he kisses your shoulder. “I thought we could enter a different contract this time.”

“Different? Like how?”

“A more personal one, with no scripts involved. Still exclusive, though,” Jimin is grinning, the sneaky little punk.

“Oh really? What exactly does this contract entail?”

Jimin pretends to think for a while before he answers. “Roleplaying Fifty Shades with me, for one. I was thinking we could do a professor student one too. Oh and also, a nursemaid one. And last but not least... go on a date with me.”

He’s so sneaky that it makes you laugh. “Signed, sealed and delivered. But just so you know, I’m fucking your ass this time.”  

[poptod]

The Dead Heed No Lies (Ch. 11)

Description: There is a difference between what’s good for the individual versus what’s good for the many, a divide you wished didn’t exist.

Notes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Word Count: 4k

Chapter Eleven: More Important Things

You began to lose track of how many hours, how many days you'd been searching through the library. Time spent there seemed to both crawl and quicken, the only indicator of passing time being the angle of the sun's light through the windows, which you paid very little attention to, if any at all. The whole ordeal wasn't actually affecting you too badly – your only issue was that you forgot the day of the week quite often. McPhee would remind you whenever he called. But no, for the most part you were fine, and all that mattered was that you were still sane enough to keep sifting through the library's documents. Sac appeared to be fine as well – she adored the different lands and the foreign marks on the maps, loved decoding them and picturing it all in her head.

It was Ahk that was the problem. Again. He was beginning to stress, worrying constantly about how far along Anubis was. His worries weren't entirely unwarranted, but when he began obsessively taking stacks of books and scrolls off the shelves and landing a massive pile of them on the table, insisting the two of you needed to finish that amount by that night, that was irritating.

"Ahk, be reasonable," you pleaded with him, fully over this shenanigan of his by the third time he suggested it.

"This isn't even the entirety of one shelf!" He said, as if that would make it better. "We haven't put a dent into this library and it's been what, I don't know, a week? Two?"

"Six days," you grumbled, leaning your forehead against your palm.

"Six days?! This - we are going to spend forever in here," he hissed as he leant down to face you.

"This is just what studying is, Ahk. Time taking."

"Yes well - studying is fine, but not when we've got a time limit," he said, making to sit down beside you. He squished in, already grabbing a scroll and unravelling it, showing off the Chinese lettering. He looked at it for a moment, stunned into silence.

"Ahk," you mumbled, feeling horribly tired.

"What... is this?" He asked quietly.

"That's fucking Chinese. What were you doing in the Chinese section," you grumbled, voice cracking in your exhaustion.

"I don't... I don't know?"

"I think you two have been in here for too long," came a voice behind you. Turning slowly, you came face to face with Sac, who held a scroll in her gloved hand.

"Probably," you sighed. "What've you got?"

"I don't know," she said, handing Ahk the scroll. "It's filled with your hieroglyphs, but I found it in the map section."

Scooting over, the three of you clumped together on the bench, one person on either side of Ahk as he unravelled it.

"Hetep di nesiw inperw hen -" Ahk began slowly, before you reminded him quietly that neither you nor Sac could audibly understand the Egyptian language.

"An offering the King gives Anubis," you read, your interest suddenly caught at the mention of Anubis. But you knew this formula, this type of letter – it was plastered on every tomb, and you knew the words by heart. "In front at the God's booth; voice offering for governor, overseer of priests - I know this. It's from Mereri's tomb in Dendereh. I don't think it'll be of much help."

"In the least we can return it to its' proper place," Sac said with a small shrug, standing and taking the parchment from Ahk. She rolled it back up, found a secure place on one of the shelves, and returned a moment later.

"There's so much information here," you grumbled, rubbing your face tiredly with your hands.

You hadn't had much of a break as of recent, either – the three of you didn't find any amusement in breaks anymore. Instead, you remained in the library for as long as possible, and by the end of the day your energy was drained entirely. It left for little else to do but return to the hotel and sleep off the night, dreaming that maybe you'll find what you're looking for. Even as your concentration began to waver in the evening you did not stop, writing down every pertinent fact, recording every image that might be important.

It felt an awful lot like university again.

"Maybe we need a break from it all," Sac suggested quietly on the long walk back to your hotel.

"I don't think we have time for a break," Ahk said, his nails digging anxiously into his palm.

"I think you're both right," you said with a sigh, unsure of how you could cater to both those things. "We need a break, desperately... but we gotta remember Anubis isn't taking any breaks."

"If we rest for a bit, we could revitalize, and then it won't be so hard to look for what we need," Sac said, bringing up a valid point – when you studied while exhausted and burnt out, you absorbed close to nothing. Even Ahk seemed to be in careful agreement.

"Maybe. We can discuss this in the morning," you said, opening the hotel doors for them. They agreed, and with that, the three of you passed out on the beds.

In the morning, you found Ahk fidgeting on the pull out bed, his back turned to you and the sheets crumbled into a ball in his fist. Staying as quiet as possible, you snuck up behind him. With a grab to his shoulder he jumped, whipping around to face you, currently laughing as you knelt on the empty mattress.

"Morning Ahk," you said, cooling down the fit of giggles you'd launched into. Laughing from the shock, he took a breath to calm down, a vacant smile still on his face.

"Hi... what time is it?" He asked in a daze. Moving down beside him, he wrapped his arm around you, allowing you to grab at his hand playfully.

"Eight o clock," you said, his arms dancing limp in your grasp.

"Is Sac up?"

"Yep, she's in the bath right now. I'm thinking we spend half the day in the library and the other half relaxing, so we don't lose a whole day," you said as he began to sit up, the white sheets falling from his naked torso.

"Alright. I suppose I could compromise to that," he said, his voice still rough with sleep. His hair sat a black, tangled mess on top of his head – it was odd, but it never grew. Yours did, and it was becoming a proper mess ever since you left New York.

That felt like forever ago, that night in the snow, leaving everything behind at the drop of a hat. You barely knew Sac, only spoken to her once before that moment. Ahk you knew a little better, but not nearly as well as you did now, watching him find comfort in your touch as he kept near you. Leaning against you he rested his head on your shoulder, his right side pressed against yours. He yawned, letting a long breath draw from him as he melted down, his muscles relaxing entirely.

"I never asked you this, I meant to but I sort of forgot, but... can you feel the sun?" You asked quietly, hearing the rush of bathwater coming from the bathroom halt. The window across from the bed stretched into the living area, the morning sunshine pouring through the white curtains and onto your skin and his.

"I can. I nearly cried when I first felt it," he mumbled.

"That's good... I'm glad you can feel it."

For the remainder of the morning, you hurried through your morning prep before arriving at the library early, your I.D. already in hand to give to the desk lady, who still would not tell you her name. You didn't care to insist on it either, considering how suspicious she would get of you three every time you came by. It became a running joke between you, Ahk, and Sac – overanalyzing the simplest of things while the other two burst into giggles. Lately you hadn't gotten much time for joking. The three of you were almost always separated, trying to cover as much information as you could in the short allotted time.

By noon you found nothing, which you'd been expecting, though that didn't make it any less disappointing. Ahk looked equally annoyed and resigned, a look which frightened you. He was never the type to look defeated. Sac came over to find you a little while later, informing you she hadn't found anything either.

"I say we go back to the hotel, take a nap or somethin', then we can go have fun," you said, stretching your hands to the ceiling as you stood. Twisting your torso, your spine crackled all the way down, alarming all three of you.

"Um.. yeah, yeah - that way we've got skin for that time," Ahk said, clearly already tired.

You put away the books and scrolls, making sure you adhered to the alphabetical order of the library. As you left the building, the desk lady gave you an odd stare, peering over the top of her glasses. She probably found it strange, you three leaving so soon – at least, that seemed like the most realistic reason. It didn't matter anyway. You were far too tired to dwell on it too much; maybe all that studying really was weighing on you. With your mind blank of thoughts, you trudged up the cobblestone streets, keeping to the side whenever a car or scooter passed you by.

The three of you collapsed on the unmade bed that technically only fit two of you, if that – as usual, things in Europe were a good deal smaller. Crammed in tight, you enjoyed the dull heat of their bodies in the cold room, curling into a ball around a pillow you hugged. You distantly recognized Ahk beside you and Sac draped across your waist, but all that went fuzzy when you fell asleep.

You awoke to buzzing in your pocket. Lifting your head from the pillow, your whole head feeling heavy and dry, you palmed at your thighs, trying to find your pocket. Finally finding it, you dug in and pulled out your phone. 3.57 and McPhee was calling you. Again. Despite your annoyance you picked up, gently shaking Ahk and Sac awake as the call connected.

"Hi! How are things going? It's been a little while since I checked in," McPhee said, a bright smile across his face. Looking behind him, you saw the background of his office, the shutters closed tight.

"It's been like a day," you mumbled, your throat dry.

"Still, have you made any progress?"

You could physically feel the stress from his question bubbling in your heart, and watching Ahk's face, you could see him fall right back into that anxiety you'd been trying so hard to heal.

"Not yet," you said with a sniff, fully sitting up now with Ahk and Sac both awake. Neither of them bothered to look at the phone though, simply listening from their positions. "I feel like we're almost there."

"Right, well, if there's any changes call me. I'm happy to help long as you're willing to keep working," he said, still grinning brightly.

"Thanks. Better get back to it then. See you around," you said, waiting for him to bid good bye before you hung up, tucking your phone back in your pocket.

"Should we get going?" Sac asked, making to sit up.

"Yeah, sure. Any ideas on what you guys want to do?"

"Eat?" Ahk suggested. You looked at each other before you shrugged, agreeing.

Situating the clothes that had grown messy and wrinkly from the nap back onto yourselves, you headed out of the hotel. Walking down the roads, you decided that maybe they'd like to see the ocean, since that was something not everyone in the ancient world could do. You didn't pull out your phone for directions – the distant water was an easy sight to see through the sloped streets. Leading the way, you paused by a shop for gelato, deciding that it couldn't hurt to get something delicious that wasn't quite as expensive as a dinner.

You ordered vanilla, a plain choice that almost always satiated you. Sac went with a sorbet, even though you told her the gelato is better, but she just said if she wanted to try it she'd take a bite of yours. Ahk had a much harder time choosing. You assumed that was probably because he'd never seen ice cream before, and had very little idea as to how it tasted. None of you could blame him for that, but the line behind you and the employees didn't understand that very well, and grew a little impatient. Eventually you intervened.

"What types of flavors do you like? Ones that are sweet," you asked, pushing him gently to the side so you could see the array of options.

"Um," he looked to you, then back at the glass case, "honey, and fig, I suppose."

"I think you'll like black raspberry."

By the time you paid he still hadn't taken a bite of it, giving it suspicious looks as it melted away in his cone. Pulling the both of them out of the shop to make room for the other people waiting to order, you continued on your way to the ocean, an early sunset already coloring the sky in hues of pink and red blush.

"You're going to have to lick it at some point," you said to him when part of it began to melt, dripping onto his fingers.

"Why is it so cold?" He asked, still looking at it suspiciously.

"Jesus Christ, you're acting like it's covered in blood. Just fuckin' eat it, it's really good," you said with a laugh, licking away at your own cone. Hesitantly he looked to you before looking back down at it, taking his first taste. The cobblestone beneath your feet faded into sand, squishing down as you took your first steps onto the beach, digging your sandaled feet into it.

"It's... it feels wrong but it's also very good?" He said, sounding horribly confused.

"Just make sure to eat it before it all turns to liquid."

For how warm that day was compared to the days before, the beach was relatively empty – there were still children there, wading in the low waves, alongside couples who strolled down the sand, their hands intertwined. You kept your eye on the water, excitement fueling your energy. As a child, the ocean was something wonderful to see, something you adored to be near, even if the Mediterranean had all those tiny biting fish. Standing beside you and keeping you at an even pace, Sac didn't seem too excited – you sort of expected that. She'd seen beautiful things before. But Ahk, flanking your other side, he didn't look pleasantly relaxed or excited; he looked lonesome. For only a moment you wondered what was wrong, trailing his stare to the couples sitting together and standing too close with each other. After that, you left it alone, and did not think about it. The ocean was in front of you.

Pulling off your sandals and rolling up your pants, you waded into the shallow water, feeling the push and pull of the waves, the sand disappearing beneath your feet the longer you stood. The setting sun cast its red glow against your skin, warming what little it could before it set. Taking the last few bites of your ice cream, you waded out deeper, feeling your self restraint fade away as the waves crashed up, soaking your pants up to your knees. After tossing away her ice cream cup, Sac joined you, her skirt allowing for her to wade deeper. Even with your pants growing heavy and wet, you followed her out into the sea.

Laughing at the way the waves rolled against your bare skin, you turned back to shore, beckoning Ahk to join you. Smiling he declined, telling you over the crash of the waves that he didn't care to get wet. Soon after you headed back to shore, followed by Sac a little while later, the three of you resuming your little walk down the beach. The sun sank below the water, a plum dusk encapsulating the land.

"I hate to ruin your mood, but I don't think we'll make it in time," Ahk said in a quiet voice when the beach grew lonely, the people spaced far away from each other.

"Probably not, but that doesn't mean the journey is over," Sac said, making a weak smile cross Ahk's face.

"If there's a door to Duat, that means we can enter through it, right? If there's no other choice, I'd be willing to do it," you said, once more promising something that would almost certainly leave you scarred and at least a little traumatized.

"God, everything.. everything feels like too much," he said, staring off across the ocean.

"What do you mean?" You asked, pausing your stroll to look him in the eye. He wouldn't meet your gaze, but Sac patted your shoulder, leaving to god knows where, just when you needed her most. She took her talent for deescalation with her.

"Just - we have so much to do, and it doesn't feel like it's physically possible to do," he said, sitting down in the sand, his knees pulled up to rest his elbows on. You sat beside him, leaning close. "The ocean, it's so big, there's just - there's so much I don't know, so many things I wish I could've had."

"It can be difficult to see a future you can't easily partake in, I understand," you said in a soft voice, remembering all those times you dreamed of living forever, if only to see how it all ends.

"What's even at the other side of this friggin' ocean? Is it New York?"

"Um, not quite... that's the Mediterranean sea, so technically what's across from Italy is Africa, where you're from," you said, looking at the horizon.

"Wait, wait - that tiny little lake thing above Africa, that's this?" He asked incredulously, turning to you with wide eyes.

"Things are a lot bigger in person than they are on maps," you said with a shrug. That was a reality no one could escape.

"Ugh," he groaned, burying his face in his hands, his knees pulled up tight against his chest. "And there's so many people."

"Yeah," you agreed. "The world has so many cultures, I think it's interesting to see how humans come up with the same things time after time, just in different ways - I guess it's a way to forget that each civilization had hundreds, if not thousands of people."

"Do you people even have a vague count on how many civilizations there are and were?"

"Well, we have a count on the most prominent and advanced ones. Around six, including Egypt. You guys were really ahead of your time," you said, nudging him gently.

"You're not counting the different tribes though, are you?" He asked quietly.

"No," you admitted. "If I did, we'd be here forever while I tried remembering them all."

"To think, when I was alive I thought all there was was Egypt, those who loved us, and those who hated us," he scoffed, leaning his cheek against his hand. "I was foolish to think we were the only ones."

"No, you weren't foolish at all. You were intelligent, you cared for your people better than almost every other civilization did. Your medicine actually worked, you performed surgeries before basically everyone else, you charted the stars and you grew fields of food in a barren desert, Ahk – that isn't worth nothing. Your home isn't worth nothing, what you did still impacts the modern world to this day. What you did impacted me, too, you know."

"How?" He asked, his voice rough and low.

"I... I never really told anyone this, but when I was a kid, my parents took me to the Natural History Museum, you know, the one you were originally from?"

He nodded, his interest piqued.

"I found your exhibit, I must've been seven or eight at the time. Um, I saw the drawings on the wall, the hieroglyphs all over your exhibit, and it sort of spurred me on to learn more about Egypt. I learned as much as I could, I got really interested in different Kings and priests. By the time I was old enough to realize you were a real person, I had forgotten your name," you said, chuckling nervously as you rubbed the back of neck, anxious to see his reaction.

"So I inspired you to get a doctorate in my religion?"

"Sort of?"

He laughed, first slow and growing, till he belted out, leaning back into the sand till he lay down, his knees still in the air. You scooted closer to him, moving so you could see him a little better.

"That's funny, honestly. I..." he looked up at you from where he lay, falling suddenly silent as his hand came beside yours, playing with your lax fingers. "Can I say something?"

"Of course," you said, anxiety overtaking you at his words. Usually when people asked to talk, things didn't end well, and this instance had you going over every single interaction you'd had with him, wondering where you could've gone wrong.

"You're so... kind, and generous. You take care of me so much. I wish I could do the same for you," he said, and though you tried to respond, he wasn't finished. "It's hard to believe how loyal you are. You didn't have to do any of this, you didn't have to help me. After all, not many people really care about people who are already dead, or..." he glanced to Sac in the distance, "people who weren't ever alive in the first place."

"What are you trying to say?" You asked, feeling a lump in your throat.

"I think," his voice grew to a whisper, "I think I'm in love with you."

You couldn't breath. Were you moving? Was your heart still even beating? It certainly didn't feel like it – no, it felt more like someone had just blocked out every single one of your senses. You were no longer aware of the sand beneath you, the ocean beside you, the warmth off his skin, it all dissipated. No, no, this couldn't be happening; God, you'd wanted so badly for him to like you again from that time that felt so long ago. Now you couldn't think of anything worse than him liking you, especially in this way. There was no room for love on this venture, you knew that, and now he loved you. That would not help you in the underworld. You couldn't have him trying to protect you too fiercely, you couldn't have him in that way, even if you wanted nothing more than that. There were more important things to focus on than a single emotion.

He was still looking at you, eyes glittering with tears ready to brim and keep like dew on his eyelashes.

"I..."

Would you have to lie? Couldn't you just say you felt the same, but that you wouldn't condone any action taken off that feeling as anything distracting could fail the mission? Or would a simple lie, a simple, heartbreaking lie force him to think of nothing else but the mission?

What would help?

What could you say?

Just don't answer, a voice whispered at the back of your head, the only advice you felt as though you could physically handle.

Clearing your throat, you stared off at the dead sunset, the first stars appearing in the night sky.

"We have things to do," you said in a small voice, the words forced from your thoughts into fruition.

"I know," he mumbled, the warmth of his fingers intertwined with yours leaving, and with that all touch ceased.

You closed your eyes tight. It was the only way. You couldn't trust yourself or him to stay on track, you would not risk such an ancient artifact on your affections for one person, you would not let go of magic for one person, even if it was him. Him – well, he meant the world to you, but he didn't mean the world to everyone. Just you, and that was why what you felt didn't matter.

There were more important things than you and him.

[cheshasleverage]

The Miracle Job Rewatch

Wow it sure took me a while to watch this episode damn. Also I’m gonna start putting these under read mores because they’re too long

Anyways, I think I understand why they might’ve switched the Two Horse Job with The Wedding Job, on account of it would explain why Nate is ordained and can marry off a couple without anyone questioning the validity of it

If we think about it going in the order it was supposed to though, with Nate marrying off the couple before telling the team he was a priest (or was going to be anyways) its kind of funny because that means the team didn’t care about its validity and just wanted to get the con over with

The mural in the church though, it’s gorgeous. The statue? can’t stop laughing at his little Y arms

The priest is definitely a guy Nate would be friends with, what with his humor and all

Listen I’m not religious and I know this is a running theme throughout the episode but seriously who beats up a priest, or any holy man for that matter? Unless the guys a fucking asshole I understand but come on

How did Sophie get that role? Knowing her the actual cast member dropped out or something and she jumped on the chance to play

Eliot playing Russian roulette with a bunch of criminals is somehow not as bad as watching Sophie’s play and I want to think he’s just exaggerating to get his point across but also Death of a Salesman is almost 2 and half hours long so maybe it really was that bad (either way I think Eliot needs to lighten up on Sophie)

Ok Ok, smooth Nate really smooth

Do you think Nate actually watched the play? He probably already knows the premise of Death of a Salesman so he can cover his ass if he fell asleep but the way he was watching Sophie in the first episode makes me think that maybe he is just fascinated with watching how her version plays out

First mention of Maggie, and with Sophie’s tone and with what we already know, we can kind of figure out that whatever she’s telling Nate is important and that the client is possibly connected to Nate (great writing tbh)

“You read the police report?” “Yeah, I do that.” 

The back and forth with Nate being All Business and Paul trying to get him to tell him if it had been Maggie he was talking to is very.... telling of how Nate feels about his “job” and his old life. Nate lost everything, including the wife he really loved, and now he’s driven himself into the ground trying to do anything that might distract him from what happened to Sam and his old life basically. 

I never realized before but parker has probably never actually experienced church or interacted with any religion in a....... religious way

Nate trying desperately to convince the team to help out his old friend like they hadn’t already helped out Sophie’s against the mob, or like they wouldn’t be all over it after learning some dudes jumped a priest. 

They have better hearts than I think themselves, and Nate, give them credit for

They were fully prepared for Nate! Hardison knew he was gonna start asking about who wanted the church and got signs of each place.

“I don’t do gangs” Do you think this is the episode that Hardison started to learn how to defend himself from attackers?

oof, look at how happy and proud Nate looks. That little boy was his life

This scene really drives home the fact that Hardison and Eliot have had very different experiences in life. While Hardison has mainly done cons behind the safety of his hacking and never really had to fight anyone, Eliot has done this before. He knows where gangs have their hideouts, he knows walking into their turf will draw them out, he knows they’ll pull guns or knives etc.

Side note: Eliot grabbing that dudes gun and holding it down his pants while he interrogates them? kind of hot ngl

“A specific range of efficacy” Yeah ok sure, he hates them because most inexperienced people use them in the least effective range instead of the fact that he’s probably got PTSD 

ANYWAYS DISARMING THAT DUDE WITH A HEADBUTT IS KIND OF HOT ALSO

However, Hardison freaking out is exactly how I would feel in that situation, mainly because I (and Hardison) realize that Eliot is there and after seeing what Eliot can do there’s very little chance he would let anything happen

What was that move, Hardison? Did he shove him??

Hey, at least he noticed that dude was acting weird. He’s very observant and picks up on a lot of things which helps out when he’s hacking

“Somebody’s gotta fight the injured, shoot that’s my niche”

Can we talk about how Eliot keeps looking back? Like he’s expecting a gunshot, whether it’s at the gang member or at them

God when the team is going hard against someone they really go hard. First smacking him with wood and changing his pills, then dumping his assistant on the floor to get him alone in an elevator

“You gave speed?” Hardison’s half-assed attempt to make an excuse for Parker because he did beat up a priest but also, speed?

Parker is so smart. Like, especially when she’s doing anything involving stealing but there are moments like this where she comes up with an elegant way of saying “let's ruin this dude”. 

I peg Hardison for being agnostic. Or something along those lines. Mainly because I feel somewhat similarly toward what they’re doing. Cus there’s a difference between taking advantage of someone’s greeds/fears vs taking advantage of their religion and faith

DID PARKER REALLY DRAW BLOOD FROM HIM

Sophie is vicious. I think they all are in their own way but Sophie gets next to her mark, gets cozy and they trust her and then she turns around and uses them for her con

1) Hardison is an amazing artist 

2) Eliot’s got a point because at 10 feet when you’re not moving and your target is standing still, you should have time to aim and hit it

Alright so digging in: Nate harbors guilt over Sam’s death and the falling apart of his marriage..... and his little game of cat and mouse with Sophie. He never cheated on Maggie, there may have been some flirting but he was honest and never slept with Sophie or anyone else, and I highly doubt Sophie ever tried to push him to sleep with her knowing he was married. But he still feels guilty because, well come on, one guilt piles on another and soon it’s snowballing. He’s thinking about every little mistake, whether Maggie cared about it or not, and wondering if he could’ve done things differently, how would things have turned out?

Sophie, on the other hand, knows he was honest, knows there’s nothing he should be feeling guilty about, at least not when it comes to what they had before the team. Maybe she harbors some envy toward Maggie, but she’s also in a very unstable and unsure spot. She doesn’t know where she stands with Nate personally, only professionally as a grifter on his team. And maybe she does feel somewhat guilty, but she’s trying to lessen the burden that Nate’s put on himself (not that she’s supposed to do that, and it’s another reason I’m glad the writers pushed off their romance)

You know you fucked up when the Vatican rolls up

(now I wanna see a job that takes place in/near the Vatican where the team has to avoid the Vatican and try not to get themselves smited for another fake miracle because Hardison, Parker, and Eliot booked it as soon as they heard the Vatican)

Paul really nailed Nate. At this point, Nate is an alcoholic and he’s depressed, like severely. Nate is using this team as a way to maybe redeem some part of himself, and possibly end him in a way that’s well.... it either does some good for someone or it ruins his reputation

I also wonder if Nate ever did go back before they moved. Maybe just once or twice, even if it was just to talk to Paul. 

Also very clever to use Saint Nicholas. After digging around (googling about him) I found out he’s technically the patron saint of repentant thieves

[llodblinky]

Chapter 3:

On his flight to Gridania, Llod takes note of the sights he's seeing on his way. The lush greenery is a nice change of pace at least, from the overbearing heat of Ul'dah. But no sightseeing until X'tolzia is back on both of her legs. Cirina mentioned the Archer Guild and her own parents would be of assistance. That's where he'll start.

The airship begins its descent. Once it lands Llod takes in the sights, noting how much more peaceful it feels with all the nature surrounding every inch. After he's had his fill, he hastens toward the Archers Guild to see if they can help locate the Rosillea. The herb needed to fix X'tolzia's disjointed aether.

Once he enters, he speaks with the Guild's secretary.

"Hello miss, I was looking for the guild leader. Is he by chance still here?" He inquires.

"Oh, hello there. Why he just left a little while ago, but I'm sure he'll be back soon. Off on a little errand with some trainees." She informs. "But perhaps his higher ranking disciples may be of assistance."

He informs her that he is a friend of Cirinas and that she knew someone who could help locate a rare herb.

"I see, I believe she may have meant Keryll. He is quite skilled at locating rare herbs and has a vast knowledge of our local flora and fauna!" She exclaims, with a bright warm smile. "One moment please."

Llod waits at the desk as she moves to the backroom to fetch Keryll. He twiddles with his thumbs as he waits, her return only a couple minutes later.

"And her is Keryll. Cirina and him work together often, so I'm sure he can be of assistance." She presents Keryll, assuming a gentle motherly aura.

"Ah Keryll, I hear your an expert of the local foliage around here." Llod states. "I request your help through advisement of Cirina to locate a specific herb." He folds his arms, stern in tone.

Keryll stunned at the request, looks a little to the side of Llod. A bit embarrassed.

"O-oh, Cirina mentioned my n-name? That I'd be of a-assistance?" He stutters a bit, shifting his arms about nervously.

"Aye, she said you'd be a great help."

Llod still stern in tone. Wondering why the lad is so nerve wracked over something this simple. He takes note of his gestures and little movements. He lacks confidence in something he excels at? That's a first for mine eyes.

"W-well...I do know much about our ecosystem. What is i-it you're looking for?" Keryll questions nervously.

Llod explains the situation and what had transpired recently. That an herb to repair his friend's aether is needed and it is located in Gridania. The herb is called Rosillea.

"I need to find some for her, please. Do you know where some is located?" Llod pleads.

Keryll rubs his neck, afraid to help the young warrior and his friend. With a long pause, Keryll speaks up.

"Okay. I know where some are. But i-it's a quite dangerous, I've never gone there w-without Cirina." He explains.

"I'll keep you safe, no need to worry about that chap!" Llod beams with confidence, even though now he is unsure if he can. Like with X, doubt creeps into the back of his mind.

Keryll nods, they gather some supplies and head the Kobold mines to the north of Gridania. Llod makes sure to note some of the sights, wishing to come back with X'tolzia for a bit once she is better. Once they reach the Northern Shroud, Keryll expertly leads Llod through the terrain and they come to a clearing with view of the mines. And Kobolds everywhere, no way is fighting on the way in an option. They would never reach the mine.

"We can sneak around to t-there, and there's a small cavern on the side we can s-sneak in f-from." Keryll's voice dropping a bit.

"Are you scared? And be honest." Llod asks with a firm tone.

Keryll shakes his head up and down a bit frantically. Llod gestures to him to stay behind him once they're inside. They go along the side against the rock wall, sticking to shadows and eventually get inside. The caverns are very dim with light, only enough to barely see.

"Our eyes will adjust, but im used to it. I'll guide your steps Llod." Keryll tells him. Grabbing his shoulder and whispering to him.

He explains some gestures he'll press into Llod's back while they move to signal stopping, going, turning, and dangers. Just like Cirina did when she brought him here his first time. Once Llod understands they continue deeper inside. Its not too far from where they came in at least. A couple of right turns and a left, they reach their destination.

"Oh d-drat, seems they plucked most of them. Hopefully a c-couple are enough for your doctor friend." He states with worry on his face.

"Should be enough, he didn't specify how many, but it didn't sound like much was needed either." He whispers, preserving a few and placing them into his sack.

As they turn around, they are surprised by a kobold priest, who sounds the alarm! Now the whole system knows about their presence. Llod quickly bashes it on the head to knock it out, and they hasten to their exit. But a large rumbling sends the shaft into a bit of a quake and collapses their exit. Now they have to fight their way out.

"Gods Damn it, so bloody close too! Stay with me Keryll, we gotta move fast before they trap us inside." Llod exclaims, Keryll nodding drawing his bow.

They fly through the first few sections, the kobolds still trying to pinpoint the intruders so only a few are taken out along the way. About halfway through they meet greater resistance but manage to get through with only scrapes and bruises. The Kobolds erratic fighting and careless abandon, even hurling their bodies at the duo, making close quarters combat difficult.

They are able to make it to the larger, front door, entrance but their way to the outside is impeded by a much, much larger kobold. Measuring roughly ten times the size of a regular one, perhaps a rare gene it was born with. No matter, they have to get through it one way or the other. The trailing Kobolds gather behind the two and they're now trapped inside with the outside ones blocking the exit as well.

"Simmar will pummel you!"

"Yes yes, Simmar strongest of us all!"

"Simmar crush you good!"

The Kobolds yell excessively, Simmar, the giant Kobold standing over them, must needs be defeated if they hope to escape.

"Okay Keryll, just stay back while I keep hi-"

Before he can complete his sentence, Llod is sent into the wall by Simmers large club. Rather fast given his size and strength to match. Keryll standing there, in complete shock, and now frozen in place as Simmar turns to him. Llod gets to his feet quickly, thankful his armor held.

"-his attention." He wipes blood from his mouth, thinking he'll need a doctor's visit now. Looking up and seeing Simmar staring Keryll down.

Keryll whimpers in fear, unable to move or speak. Simmar takes a quick step, winds his arm back, and brings it down atop Keryll.

Clang!

Llod barely makes it in time to block it with his shield.

"Keryll! Back!" He yells, breaking the archer out of his trance and obeying the order.

As he retreats he lets loose a volley of arrows but they do little to waver the brutish kobold. Llod gathers his strength and pushes Simmar back with enough force to allow some breathing room. Then makes his own move and slides past Simmars swing and slices at his leg and arm, to no avail. Llod takes note of the broken arrows, coming to the conclusion his skin is too thick to pierce.

"There has to be a weak area on his body somewhere." Noting his eyes are vulnerable to Keryll's arrows at least.

Maybe we can blind him, and cause him to fall over? He thinks to himself, as Simmar does a 180° spin and swinging his club with great force. Llod avoids it sliding between Simmar's legs, the club hitting the rock wall. But Llod is grabbed soon after by Simmar's free hand, tossed up into the air, and smashed back to the ground by his fist! It causes Llod to lose his breath, and he's gasping for air. As Simmar winds up to crush Llod, he yells with what breath he can gather.

"Eyes....go...for the eyes!" A weakened and desperate Llod blurts out.

Keryll hears his words, but is frozen with fear. Just like always, he always freezes when it matters most. He can't break free, he closes his eyes, shaking. Llod slowly turns back to Simmar winding his club. Still struggling to breathe, yells out during what may be his last moment of life.

"KERYLL!!...."

He snaps to, taking in the scene in front of him for a second. Takes a deep breath, and its as if time slows to a crawl. The brutish kobold's club begins its descent aiming to crush Llod to a bloody pulp. His eyes grow wide and his thoughts go immediately to X, how he failed her.

CRASH!!

Simmers weapon slams the ground right next to Llod, he looks up and hears a hellish roar of pain. The giant's eye was pierced by an arrow, Keryll! He gets to his feet and looks back toward his compatriot, who sighs with relief and simply smiles at Llod.

"Its not over, we have to knock him down!" Keryll orders, taking command of the situation.

Llod nods and moves for Simmers ankles to impair his movement. Slicing them from behind as Keryll makes quick work nocking explosive arrows and launching them at the ceiling. Causing some of the rubble to land atop Simmar, also losing grasp of his weapon. He attempts to get back into his feet, but Llod, after charging light energy into his shield, lunges shield first into Simmars back. Crippling the beast, as it writhes in pain on the floor.

Llod goes to put an end to his life, but Keryll stops him, motioning to the other Kobolds who are watching in horror.

"Simmar lose....that...cant"

"He strongest of us all...we can't survive if he gone"

"Not Simmar...please spare him"

"No......no..."

Llod brings his sword up high above his head, Simmar staring up awaiting his demise. Only to watch Llod sheathe it.

"We have triumphed over your champion. We shall not slay him, so long as our path put remains clear!" He shouts toward the crowd, moving away from the cave entrance. So Llod and Keryll withdraw, as the Kobolds tend to the fallen giant Simmar.

After some time has passed they return to Gridania to report to the Archer's Guild that the mission was a success.

"Well that was quite an experience, Cirina'll be upset she missed it." Keryll jokes.

"True, but at least we got the herb right? Now I can head back to Ul'Dah and help get X'tolzia back on her feet." He smiles to himself.

Llod pats Keryll on the back in appreciation of his help.

"Couldnt have done it without ya though, thanks a lot Keryll. And hey, your stutter is gone I noticed." He says.

"Oh hey, it is haha. And no need to thank me, happy to h-help." He blushes for a moment. "W-well it WAS g-gone for a bit. Hahaha."

They laugh heartily, share a couple of drinks, and then depart. Llod heading to the airship back for Ul'Dah. Catching some sleep on the way, exhausted from the battling. Being woken up by one of the airship's attendants. A stern voice greets him.

"Sir, we have landed. Please exit the airship so the next boarding party may enter."

Still in a daze, he agrees and exits the airship. Once he shakes off the grogginess he heads straight for the doctor's, eager to see X. He's once again greeted by Jaynee.

"Oh Llod, you're back already? That was a qui-...h-hey!" She greets him, but he is making haste to Wodrick and X.

He bursts into X'tolzia's room where she, Cirina, and the doctor are casually talking. He's panting as he's been running since he got off the airship only to collapse onto one knee. The pains of his fighting finally taking their toll with the adrenaline fully worn off it seems. Wodrick and Jaynee, who just entered as Llod collapsed help him up. He holds up the preserved herbs that he was asked to retrieve for X's condition and everyone just looks in awe.

A tearful smile rushing over X'tolzia's face, Cirina cheering from her bed with a big grin. Wodrick and Jaynee sighing happily, the good doctor knowing Llod needs treatment and bed rest for the wounds he suffered. Amazed he made it back in that condition without rest.

"While I'm sure we're all glad you are back safe Llod, you could have gotten your injuries treated before your return." Wodrick states, scolding Llod.

"Sorry..doc. Wanted X to get these as soon as possible." He says, chuckling lightly.

They help him to a neighboring room so they can start treating him, and Wodrick begins making the concoction to fix X'tolzia's aether disruption. Once its done, she simply takes it, her hair and tail standing on end from the horrid taste. After some odd hours pass, she is able to use her leg again, but takes it slow as a few days bed rest and not using it still left a limp feeling. Cirina is up and at em too, dancing and stretching to get limbered up again as if its been ages.

Llod however, is locked to best rest and Jaynee is making sure he stays put. Everyone comes in to check on him and to wish him a swift recovery. He nods as he dozes off to sleep, Wodrick bringing the lot in tow. X gestures to have one minute more by his side, and as she was the one he risked life and limb he allows it.

X'tolzia stands next to Llod at his bedside, smiling at him. His battered body telling her what he had gone through, the bruises showing her just how committed he was to aiding her. She becomes saddened by this, shedding a couple of tears, resolving to never make him have to go through such pain again. He could have lost his life, all for me...you idiot. You really care for me that much? As she contemplates this, she leans in closer to him, and plants a kiss on his cheek. As she heads to leave, she turns back and makes him a promise.

"Thank you Llod, so much.....I promise to live up to your kindness. To make your efforts worthwhile." She whispers.

Then X leaves the room, rejoining her sister as they head for the nearby inn to rest for the night.

[unpack-my-heart]

IT Fandom Prompt Week - Day 7 - Famous / Band AU

@constantreaderfool​ @xandertheundead​ @tinyarmedtrex​

Final Prompt for IT Prompt week 2019. 

Read on AO3 HERE

Like many people, the first metal band that Eddie listened to was Metallica. He was 16, and had spent the day at Bev’s house, the balmy evening sun hanging heavy and bloated in the sky. They’d sat at the bottom of her garden, legs bare and grass between their toes. Bev’s old cassette tape player was balanced precariously on a rickety wooden chair, the tapes lay scattered around the grass, like plastic flowers. Eye’s half-closed, Eddie was listening to Bev tell him about the book she’d been reading, and how he should read it before they start their college degrees in the fall. Bev’s voice, pitchy and animated, fought with Morrissey’s crooning voice, and Eddie let himself swim in the noise. That was, until Bev changed the tape, and an unrelenting guitar riff came booming out of the tinny speakers. Eddie’s eyes snapped open.

“Who’s this?” Eddie asked, shifting so he was propped up against the fence.

“Huh? Oh, Metallica. They’re pretty good, right!”

“Yeah,” Eddie mused, bobbing his head slightly along with the rhythmic chugging of the guitar, “yeah they’re pretty good”

That night, Eddie had practically skipped home, fanny-pack stuffed with as many cassette tapes as Bev could wedge in there without breaking the zip. The bands are those he has never heard of before, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Nine Inch Nails. Bev promised that he’ll love them, and he trusted her.

A few days later, Eddie escaped the stifling confines of his mother’s house to join Bev on a trip to the local record store. Bev immediately tugged him over to the ‘rock and metal’ section, where they spent ages flicking through the tapes, Bev filling Eddie’s hands with tapes in a matter of minutes. Eddie, who had felt out of place in a dingy record store in his pressed khakis and pastel yellow polo shirt, had immediately struck up a conversation with the friendly guy behind the counter, who couldn’t have been any older than he was.

“First time?” The guy asked, picking through the tapes that Eddie had dumped on the counter, looking for the price stickers.

“Pardon?”  

“First time somewhere like this? You have the first time kinda look, like you’re afraid the tapes will bite you or something”

“Oh,” Eddie replied, scuffing his feet on the floor, “Yeah, it’s my first time. Bev said she’d been in here loads and it’s cheaper than the store downtown, so…”

The guy laughed, a warm laugh that rang in the quiet store like a bell.

“Yeah, Bev’s in here a lot. Doesn’t spend much money, though !”

“Bite me, Hanlon”

“Ever the charmer, Miss Marsh,” The guy turned back to Eddie, “As rude as she is, Bev has good taste. You’re definitely in safe hands, but you can always come in here and I can help you, if you get sick of her forcing you to listen to Trent Reznor’s entire discography over and over and over again”

“I’m warning you, Michael!” Bev hollered, brandishing a vinyl record like a weapon.

– X –

Soon enough, Eddie fell into a routine. He’d wait until his mother fell into a deep, sleeping-pill induced sleep in front of her soap operas, and shut the lounge room door, painfully slowly to stop it creaking. Then, he’d charge upstairs as fast as his legs would carry him. Whilst Eddie looked everything the picture-perfect poster-boy for “good boys” everywhere, from his perfectly coiffed hair, his crisp, 100% cotton polo shirts, and even down to his sensible, chalk-white sketchers,  he had a secret hiding under his bed.

Under his bed, behind the stacks of biology and chemistry textbooks and old shoes that don’t fit him anymore, lurks a small metal box, and a rusty cassette player. The metal box is home to his ever expanding collection of tapes, and he’d take great pleasure in passing his fingers over the spines of the cases, like he was choosing the biggest, most decadent chocolate in the box. His fingers almost always landed on Metallica first, his gate-way drug. He’d disrobe the tape, and place it into the cassette player, but not before he’d plugged his monstrously large headphones into the jack. Cranking up the volume, Eddie would place the cassette player next to him on the bed, and lie back, and drift.

Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams Blinded by me, you can't see a thing

Eddie would spend hours listening to Rob Halford’s demonic screaming if his mother had been particularly taxing that evening, or if his day had been slow and lazy, Ozzy Osborne would sing him to sleep, regaling him with tales of faeries dancing with dwarves. Soon enough, and without any real effort, Eddie became a secret, but die-hard, metal-head.

– X –

A note hit the back of Eddie’s head in chemistry.

Anthrax are playing at oil slick in Bangor! We gotta go. B x

Eddie tries to protest, he really does. He sits under the bleachers with Bev at lunch, and tries to convince her that he’d never be allowed to go to a show in Bangor, that his mother would never let him, that he can’t lie to her, really Bev, I’ve tried, I’m a terrible liar.

She doesn’t take no for an answer, and sure enough, when the night of the show arrives, Eddie is sat in his bedroom at half past six, practically vibrating with nerves. He knew that his mother would be dead to the world in a few minutes, passed out for a whole twelve hours. Eddie thanked the God of Nyquil and prescription medicine. When the familiar rumble of his mother’s snores starts to seep through his floorboards, Eddie throws open his window, takes a deep breath, and leaps like a frog onto the branch of the big tree that stands dormant outside his window.

He runs straight to Bev’s aunts house, and they both clamber in her rickety Sedan, Bev, who had recently turned 17 and was now trusted with her Aunt’s car, at the wheel. Eddie was wearing the black straight-leg jeans he’d begged his mother to buy him, and Beverly Marsh, his lord and saviour, had lent him one of her old leather jackets and her Iron Maiden tour shirt that fit him like a glove. Together with Bev clad in enough leather to upholster a couch, they drove to Bangor.

Eddie had the best night of his life, and crawled back in through his bedroom window at four am the next morning, sweaty and disgusting, but happier than he’d been in years.

– X –

When Bev’s aunt gets a PR job at Iron Horns, the best heavy metal festival this side of the Atlantic, Eddie almost squeezes the life out of Bev when she invites him to go with them. He was eighteen, and on the precipice of adulthood. He’s staring down the crevasse of responsibility, college degrees, mortgages and student loan repayments, and the void is staring straight back at him. He toyed with the idea of telling his mother that her little Eddie-Bear spends his weekends lurking in dive bars listening to boys with longer hair than most girls scream into the microphone, and he plans on getting dirty in a field for a weekend with his best friend.

He, of course, doesn’t do this, and instead told his mother that Bill and Ben have invited him to go camping with them, and he wanted to go. Predictably, she wasn’t happy, and bleated on at him about bears and poison ivy until she was blue in the face and panting, but she couldn’t catch Eddie as he sprinted down the path, backpack bulging on his back, pop-up tent in hand.

Iron Horn’s was huge. The site was a sprawling sea of grass, tents and stages, and as they drove down the make-shift drive-way to the staff car-park, Eddie could feel himself begin to panic. His hand instinctively tried to find the inhaler he has stashed in his fanny-pack, but Bev’s hand caught his hand in hers and squeezed. They held hands until they got out of the car.

Bev’s Aunt Lucy was ‘head of logistics’ for the entire festival, something that makes Eddie gawp with awe, and because she was such an important cog in the machine of the festival, they had arrived one day before the music started. Lucy was also able to throw her weight around a bit and swing them a camping plot in the staff and VIP section of the festival, something that calmed Eddie’s nervous jitters. The staff camping had a regular block of toilets, so he wouldn’t have to venture into alien territory … the dreaded porta-loo.

The staff camping ground is made up of plots of grass for people to pitch tents, but it also had porta-cabins for the musicians. Eddie scanned the names on the doors, finding that he recognises all but one of the bands.

“Bev, who are Crimson Nightmare?” Eddie asked Bev, trying to help her pitch their tent, but mostly just getting in her way.

“Huh. I have no idea, but they’re headlining the second day so I guess they’re probably pretty good”  Bev huffed, trying to bash the tent-pegs into the firm ground with the heel of her boot.

Once they (or rather, Bev) had finished pitching their tent, they both clambered inside with their bags, and proceeded to get changed out of their travelling clothes. Most of the clothes that Eddie has brought with him are Bev’s hand-me-downs, or things that she’s bought him for Christmas, or just because. Eddie changes into one of Bev’s ripped Judas Priest shirts, and a pair of her tightest black skinny jeans that just about fit him if he doesn’t breathe too deeply. Luckily, because Bev’s feet are the size of common shrews, Eddie has his own boots that he’d saved up for with money from various birthday’s. Obviously he can’t keep the boots at home because his mother would find them and burn them in a sacrifice to the God’s of easy listening music, so they live in the trunk of Bev’s Aunt’s car for him to change into when they go to shows. They’re beaten up old black Docs that he bought in a thrift shop. He swapped out the characteristic yellow laces for rainbow ones, and he let Bill draw dancing skeletons on them in white sharpie. Eddie treasured those damn boots.

Once they’re changed, Eddie and Bev head over to the VIP tent where they grab some food. The VIP tent was home to a catering service, and a small bar for the staff and the musicians to wind down in the evening. Upon walking through the entrance flap, Eddie was immediately star-struck. There are people from his favourite bands milling around, talking to each other, laughing, shouting, existing. As he looked around, Eddie realised that no-one else looked quite as starstruck as he did, which made him feel all sorts of ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. He continued to stare at Layne Staley.

Once Eddie and Bev had finished their food, and Eddie was trying not to stare at the lead singer from Steel Martyr too much, he caught the eye of a tall guy with intense dark eyes and a wicked smile leaning nonchalantly against the bar. Eddie doesn’t recognise him, so he assumed that he must be a light tech, or an audio engineer, or maybe even a roadie. He also looks very young, perhaps no older than nineteen. This, accompanied with the fact that he’s wearing sweatpants with an old hoodie, suggested to Eddie that he couldn’t be a member of a metal band. The guy held Eddie’s gaze for a beat too long, and before he glanced back to the bartender, the stranger winked at Eddie.

Against his will, Eddie felt the all too familiar heat in his cheeks – an unfortunate indication that his face was blooming a violent scarlet red. Eddie snapped his head away, eliciting an loud bark of laughter from the stranger at the bar. Bev, who had been too busy trying to surreptitiously roll a joint under the table, looks up when she heard the laugh.

“Eddie, why is that guy over there staring at you?”

“…Wuh-What?,” Eddie stutters, fertilizing the glint in Bev’s eye, “What guy? There’s no guy”

“Uh… Yeah there is, that one” Bev snorts, and turned in her seat to point directly at the stranger, who waved at her.

“Him? What about him? I don’t even know him” Eddie mumbled, staring very intently at an interesting speck of dirt on the floor.

“Well, he’s been staring at you since we got here, he laughed at you about thirty seconds ago, and now he’s coming over here”

“WHAT!”

“Yeah, he’s totally coming over here!” Bev squealed, looking positively gleeful.

Eddie snapped his head up, and sure enough, the stranger in the sweatpants was striding over purposefully, his eyes glued on Eddie.

Eddie stared back at him, eyes owlish and ridiculous.

“I guess I’m gonna have to make the first move, then?” was the first thing the sweatpants-stranger said, as he plonked himself down in the empty seat to Eddie’s right.

“Um” was all Eddie said in response.

Bev was thirty seconds away from howling with laughter judging by the look on her face, and Eddie prayed that embarrassment was a painless way to die.

“Hi! I’m Bev, and this beetroot looking thing here is Eddie”

“Nice to meetcha, Red. The name’s Richie. D’ya have a voice, short-stack?”

“I do as it happens” Eddie replied, snottily.

“Oof. I like ‘em spicy. Come here often?”

“Do you speak only in pick-up lines or are you capable of stringing a coherent sentence together?”

“Get yer coat love, you’ve pulled”

Eddie rolled his eyes, and angled his body away from Richie’s.

He knew what this game was, and he intended to play to win.

“Hey now, I’m just playing with you” Richie cooed, taking Eddie’s bait, “In all seriousness, whatcha doing here? You performing this weekend?”

“Naw, my Aunt is the head of logistics for the fest so we came along for the ride. Couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see Tool for the fifth time!” Bev responded, speaking for Eddie, who raised his eyebrows at her gratefully.

“Ah, of course. Gotta admit, I’m pretty heartbroken I’m not gonna get to see little Eddie Spaghetti losing his shit on that big stage, though. I bet that’s a real pretty sight”

“And what are you doing here, then? Light tech, or something?” Eddie interjected, a feeble attempt to steer the conversation away from himself.

“Something like that. A bitta’ this, a bitta’ that. Jack of all trades, me”

Eddie wasn’t entirely satisfied with that answer, but he didn’t push it any further.

“Can I get you both a drink?” Richie asked, drawing Eddie out of his introspection.

“Are you over twenty-one?” Eddie affirmed, sceptical.

“Nah, but I’ve known Jonsey for a few years now. He’s not worried about silly little things like legal drinking ages”

“Uh ..,” Eddie looked at Bev for confirmation, and much to his chagrin Bev gave him the most ridiculous, and most unsubtle thumbs up ever.

“Okay, sure,” Eddie relents, “just get me whatever you’re having”

“Are you sure you can handle that?” Richard said with a wink. Eddie stared at the floor again, eyes wandering over Richie’s boots. The laces were not proper laces at all, and were instead blue string, frayed and threadbare.

“I’ll have a jack and coke, if you’d be so kind. Lotta Jack, not so much coke” Bev asks, smiling up at Richie.

“That’s a lot of booze for a young lady like yourself” Richie drawled in something Eddie supposed was supposed to be a southern accent.

“Bite me”

“If you’re sure”

Eddie sort of expected Bev to tell Richie to fuck off, but she doesn’t. She did something much more surprising.

“Hey Eddie, why don’t you go and help Richie carry the drinks? I’m just gonna –“ she gestures to the opening of the tent and waggles the spliff between her fingers.

“Aw, man. I’m hitting on the wrong person here. Any chance of a do-over, Red?”

“Not a fuckin’ chance, Trashmouth. I’ll be back in a few, Eddie, go help with the drinks!” Bev says again, a little bit more insistent this time.

“What a marvellous idea! Come on, Spaghetti” Richie announced, sending a look towards Bev that Eddie didn’t understand.

Eddie stood up, wordless, and followed Richie towards the bar, but not before sending a silent “what the fuck?!” Bev’s way. She just smiled at him, stuck her thumbs up, and disappeared out of the tent.

Eddie waited at the bar with Richie, who was drumming out the beat of a song that Eddie doesn’t recognise on the polished wood.

“Bev has a girlfriend, you know,” Eddie blurted out before he could stop himself, “just so you, y’know … know”

“Does she? That’s nice. Now, do you have a boytoy, Mr Eds?”

“but … aren’t you trying to hit on her?”

“Uh, I’m definitely trying to hit on someone, but it ain’t Red”

“Then … who …”

Richie looked at Eddie square in the face with epitome of are you shitting me written across his face.

“…oh”

“Yeah, Oh” Richie mocked, laughing. Eddie couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were glittering despite the low light of the tent.

Unsure of what to say, Eddie remained silent for a few beats too long, but he was saved when the bartender came over to take their order. Richie orders Bev’s drink, before also ordering two pints of hard cider, one of which he passes to Eddie.

“So, to return to our previous conversation, is there a Mrs Eddie Spaghetti waiting for you at home?”

“Okay, you gotta stop with all this spaghetti stuff. It’s just Eddie”

“Sure. Is there a Mrs Just-Eddie waiting for you at home?”

“Wait – hang on. How did you even know I like men?”

“Lucky guess” Richie boasted, waggling his eyebrows.

Eddie stared at him until Richie burst out laughing.

“No, Seriously! It was a lucky guess. I was fully prepared for you to tell me that Red was your girl and that I’d have to slink off with my tail in between my legs”

“Bev will find that hilarious when I tell her that”

“C’mon, S’getti you’re killing me,” Richie groaned, “should I persist in my pathetic attempts to woo you or am I wasting my time?”

Eddie pretended to think, and rubbed his chin with the hand that wasn’t holding his cider.

“I’m not sure I wanna tell you, yet. I’m quite enjoying watching you squirm”

“You sadist” Richie shot back immediately.

Eddie stood up on his tiptoes and whispered, “you don’t know the half of it” directly into the shell of Richie’s ear, before he swiftly turned on his heel and slinked back to the table.

“I’m taking that as a ‘Yes, Richie, please continue trying to get into my pants!’” Richie yelled after him.

Eddie threw his head back, and laughed.

– X –

When they got back to their tent that evening after staggering back across the field, Bev and Eddie collapsed onto the same tiny air mattress and curled around each other like inebriated kittens.

“Sooooo?” Bev drawled, as she tried to pull her boots off without unlacing them first.

“Whazzit? What?”

“Richie? D’ya like him? Because I’m pretty sure he’s gone all kissy-kissy-mushy-mushy over a certain little spaghetttiiiiii”

“oh m’god, shut’p,” Eddie slurred, and he tried to hit Bev on the arm but missed by a good six inches, “he’s just … uh … flirtatious”

“Naw, Eddie, he’s desperate to, y’know, get in there!” Bev laughed hysterically, as she pointed at Eddie’s crotch.

Eddie rolled his eyes, at least he thought he did, he’s definitely too drunk to tell.

“C’mere, tiny, I wanna spooooon” Bev moaned, grabbing Eddie.

They both fell asleep almost instantly after that, Bev’s arm wrapped snugly around Eddie’s waist.

– X –

The next morning Eddie woke up with a mouth that tasted like he’d gargled with white spirit, and, surprisingly, no headache and a stomach that only felt a tiny bit like a whirlpool.

Bev, on the other hand, wailed like a banshee when Eddie shifted on the air mattress to open the tent flap, letting a stream of cool air into the tent.

“Edward, I will cut off you bollocks if you let any more light in”

Eddie slipped out of the tent, leaving Bev to her hangover. The sun was already high in the sky, and Eddie guessed it couldn’t have been earlier than eleven or midday. His mother would definitely never have let him sleep in this late. The music started today, the first band taking to the main stage at 3pm. There seemed to be more people than Eddie had ever seen in his life charging around the staff camping grounds, carrying various bits of rigging, instruments and electrical equipment. Eddie sat on the grass outside his tent, trying to psyche himself up enough to make the long, arduous 500 metre walk to the bathrooms to brush his teeth, when a large hand clamped on his shoulder. Eddie barely managed to suppress his scream.

“Howdy, neighbour!”

“Oh my God, it’s you”

“That isn’t a very nice way to greet your beloved now is it, Eddie?”

“I thought I’d dreamt you up in an alcohol-induced fever dream” Eddie deadpanned as Richie all but threw himself down on the grass next to him.

“Naw,” was all Richie said, closing his eyes against the light of the sun. Eddie swore he could see the freckles scattered across the bridge of Richie’s nose multiply in front of his eyes.

They sat without talking for a while, listening to the hustle and bustle of the campsite. Richie looked exhausted, and Eddie wanted to let Richie rest his head in his lap while he stroked Richie’s wild hair until he was snoring.

“So … plan on seeing any good bands today?” Eddie asked awkwardly, consciously aware of the fact that the Dutch courage previously coursing through his veins had evaporated overnight.

“I dunno, yet. Who are you going to see?”

“Bev wants to see Def Leppard, who I’m not majorly fussed about, but I have to go see ‘em if she’ll even think about coming with me to see Kiss”

“Where is Red this morning, anyway? Is that … is that tent of yours empty?”

“She’s still asleep”

“Cockblock” Richie cursed under his breath, just loud enough for Eddie to hear it.

“You’re very presumptuous, has anyone ever told you that?”

“Believe it or not, I don’t make a habit of this” Richie replied, with a serious edge to his voice.

Eddie blinked.

“Make a habit of what?” Eddie asked, dumbly.

“This,” Richie gestured to Eddie and then back to himself and repeated the action, “I’m not … I don’t do this stuff”

“Richie, I’m confused”

“Never mind, sugar. I’ll explain it to you when you’re older”

Before Eddie could protest that he wanted Richie to explain his cryptic message now and not later, a rather dishevelled and grumpy looking Bev poked her head out of the tent.

“Okay. One, Eddie, I love you but you are so dense that light bends around you. Two, can you guys go flirt somewhere else please, it’s making my stomach churn”

“Top o’the mornin’ to ya, lassie!” Richie bellowed in an awful Irish accent, shuffling closer to Eddie to allow Bev more space to clamber out of the tent.

Bev collapsed on the grass next to them, rubbing her head.

“Do you have any painkillers in that magic fanny-pack of yours?” She asked Eddie, a pitiful twang to her voice.

Eddie nodded, and climbed back into the tent to search for the fanny-pack. When he’d grabbed it and climbed back out of the tent, Bev and Richie were sitting close, heads together, whispering frantically about something that Eddie couldn’t hear. Bev’s face was stern, like she was scolding a small child who had broken her favourite mug, and Richie’s eyebrows looked very insistent, but also vaguely scared. They sprang apart when Eddie climbed back out of the tent, painkillers in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. He passed both items to Bev, who hoovered up two painkillers quicker than Eddie could blink.

“I gotta skedaddle now, my love. Promise you’ll stay faithful as you wait for me,” Richie announced as he stood up, and brushed stray blades of grass off his jeans.

“I won’t make a promise I can’t keep, Rich,” Eddie tried to joke, but it fell flat as Richie’s smile, only for the briefest of seconds, was replaced by a mask of hurt.

“I guess I’ll see you around then,” and with that, Richie sauntered off, hands shoved deep in his pockets, head hanging uncharacteristically low.

“Eddie, what I need you to do right now, is go after him and apologise for being a dick”

“What did I do?!”

“You know exactly what you did”

Eddie did know.

The truth was, Eddie was harbouring a crush on Richie that was growing exponentially. He’d spotted him immediately as they’d walked into the VIP tent the day before. His heart had thumped wildly the entire time they sat close together, drinking cider and laughing, and he’d almost vomited every time Richie’s arm brushed his. Eddie had it bad. He knew this. But, try as he might, something kept him from entirely letting go. Something about the fact they’d met at a festival, miles and miles away from Eddie’s home town, and they’d probably never see each other again. He’d never experimented with casual sex, a nice fuck and a see you never! arrangement. He’d never given it much thought. Maybe he should.

Without another word, Eddie sprung up and chased after Richie, who was now rounding the corner by the toilet block.

“Rich!” Eddie called out, panting.

Richie turned around, and beamed at Eddie.

Eddie felt lighter.

“I’m sorry I’m a dick”

“You’re not a dick”

“I am, and I’m sorry. Do you … I dunno, do you wanna come see Def Leppard with us later, maybe? I mean – you don’t have to, I just meant if you have nothing better to –”

“I’d love to”

– X –

“POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!” Eddie screamed along with Joe Elliott, thousands of other people, and Richie.

Bev had disappeared a few songs ago, pushing her way to the front barrier, but Eddie had hung back. He was stood directly in front of Richie, who had been whispering (or, more accurately, shouting) into his ear occasionally, and even in one delicious, ridiculous moment, picked Eddie up and stuck him on his shoulders. That didn’t last long because Eddie was terrified he’d fall off, but having his thighs wrapped around Richie’s neck was exhilarating for the four minutes it lasted.

“Eds, this might be the best day of my life,” Richie shouted, hot, moist breath tickling Eddie’s ear.

“I think me too!” Eddie shouted back, and the Richie did something that made Eddie’s brain shortcircuit.

Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist, crossing them over his stomach, and placed a large, wet-sounding kiss on the top of Eddie’s head.

Eddie didn’t dare blink, breathe, move or think.

“Thank you for inviting me” Richie whispered, and it was a real whisper this time, spoken directly into Eddie’s heart.

“it’s uh – no problem”

The band ripped into a cover of The Who’s ‘My Generation’, and much to Eddie’s annoyance, Richie released Eddie from his cobra-hold and tugged him forward, forward, forward until they ran into Bev at the barrier. Bev’s long orange hair was piled on top of her head, her face was sweaty and pink, and she looked absolutely radiant.

“This is our fucking song now!” Richie bellowed, hoisting Bev up on his shoulders like he had done to Eddie a few songs earlier.

Eddie grabbed Bev’s ankle and squeezed it. She smiled down at him, all teeth and tongue and happy, happy, happy.

– X –

The sun had fully set behind the massive stage, and Def Leppard had just finished their encore. The mass of people that had been surrounding Eddie, a coagulated mass of shadows and sharp elbows, parted like red sea as people slowly started to trickle out of the main arena and back towards the campsites. As they walked, shoulders bumping together occasionally, Eddie noticed several people staring at Richie, or pointing at him and whispering. Eddie glanced up at Richie to see if he’d noticed, only to find Richie looking down at him with soft eyes and a small, but genuine, smile.

“You okay, Eds?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fucking great, Rich. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as I did”

“Ah, that’s because I was there, obviously” Richie boasted.

Eddie could tell that he was joking, that he was just playing the game they’d been playing for the past twenty-four hours, but that didn’t stop Eddie from saying “yeah, it probably was”, as honest as the day is long.

Eddie’s honesty seemed to hit Richie in the stomach like a sucker punch, because he made this weird spluttering noise.

“Fucking hell, Sugar, you can’t just say stuff like that”

“Why?”

“Because – Never mind, I’m gonna walk you back to your tent, c’mon”

Eddie stopped walking, and tugged on Richie’s arm to get him to stop too. Richie swung around so he was facing Eddie, boot toe to boot toe.

“Richie, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Eddie”

“Do what?”

“I can’t just keep this up. I can’t keep fucking – fucking dancing with you, laughing with you, letting you smile at me like that, and then when you cuddled with me during the show I was like, ‘oh my God, this is it, he does feel the same’  but then … then you go all cold on me or you glare at me or …” Richie trailed off, his eyes flickered between Eddie’s eyes and mouth.

“Richie, I – ”

“Please don’t, please don’t pity me or say you’re sorry, or anything like that. God, I’ll drop down dead if you say you’re sorry, Eds. It isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I wasn’t joking about walking you back, though, c’mon, Bev will kill me if we’re back much later than – ”

Richie stopped talking because Eddie had kissed him.

Eddie curled his hand around Richie’s neck and dragged his face down, before he smashed his lips to Richie’s in a kiss that started off almost violent in its awkwardness but soon became soft and hesitant. Richie didn’t move at first, and Eddie almost pulled away, ready to sprint off to the campsite fuelled on nothing but mortal embarrassment, but just as Eddie had pulled his lips a millimetre away from Richie’s, Richie opened his mouth slightly, just barely, and kissed Eddie back.

They kissed, Richie’s hands cradling Eddie’s face, until someone came careening into Eddie’s back, sending him flying forwards into Richie’s chest, arms flailing wildly.

“Sorry, mate!”

“No problem, bro” Richie responded, voice low and gruff, and from his position squished up against Richie’s chest, Eddie laughed, poking at the soft flesh of Richie’s tummy with his index finger.

“Bro?” Eddie mocked.

“What?”

“You’re ridiculous”

“And yet, you kissed me”

“I did”

“So that makes you ridiculous as well”

“It does”

“Wanna do it again?”

“Yes”

This time, Richie kissed Eddie.

– X –

By the time they’d gotten back to the tent, Eddie wasn’t done with Richie. Not even close. They’d stopped a few times on the way back, mostly Richie cutting Eddie off with his tongue, or one time that Eddie got so frustrated with Richie doing that he shoved him up against a tree and kissed him until Richie couldn’t breathe. It still wasn’t enough. However, Eddie didn’t know how to ask for more, how to ask Richie to climb into his tent with him.

Bev wasn’t in the tent when Eddie poked his head in, but there was a note lying on the air mattress.

With my mom tonight, wanted to give you some space WINK WINK

Love you be safe I’ll kick his ass if he hurts you

Don’t show his this note

Or you can if you want

Richard I’ll kill you if you hurt him okay

Love you love you love you

Eddie loved Beverly so much he could scream.

“Uh… are you tired yet?” Eddie asked, trying to remain inconspicuous, but subtlety was never his strong point.

“Nope” Richie responded, popping the ‘P’.

“Do you wanna, come in? I can’t offer you coffee because … well, I don’t have any way of making any but I can offer you … lukewarm water?��

“Eds?”

“Yeah?”

“Cut the shit”

Richie all but threw himself through the entrance of the tent, pouncing on Eddie with a loud ‘oof’. They both sprawled backwards, and Richie hovered over Eddie, his eyes dark.

“Are you sure?”

“More sure than I’ve been of anything for a very long time”

“Do you have … the necessarily equipment?”

“Are you talking about whether or not I have a dick? Because …” Eddie gestured to his crotch where, yes, it was very obvious that he was packing heat, thank you very much.

“No, you goof, I meant lube and stuff”

“Oh… yeah I do, hang on”

“You’re very … prepared”

“Jealous?”

“I would be if it wasn’t me in this tent with you right now”

“Well it is, so shut up and kiss me”

– X –

The next morning, Eddie had woken up with a crick in his neck. Richie had gone. What lay on the pillow where Richie’s head should have been, was Bev’s note. Or, rather, another note, scrawled on the back of Bev’s note.

Please get as close to the barrier as possible during Crimson Nightmare’s set

Please please please please

You fuckin’ rocked my world last night Eds

R x

– X –

Eddie looked behind him at the pulsing mass of people, blurring into one lacquered mass in the darkness of the night, random faces illuminated by the spotlights. Raucous chants surrounded him, a war cry, “CRIMSON NIGHTMARE! CRIMSON NIGHTMARE! CRIMSON NIGHTMARE!”. It was cultish, and Eddie could feel himself becoming indoctrinated.

Without warning, the huge fluttering black cloth that had been obscuring the stage was sucked through a gap in the ceiling, and revealed the stage. The entire set was decked out to look like an industrial hellscape, all juddering fans, sharp looking pieces of metal jutting every which way and large metal platforms. Several huge industrial fans were stood in the centre of the stage, acting as a podium for an obscenely large drumkit. Eddie hardly noticed the stage, though, as he was preoccupied with looking at the elaborate venetian masks the band were wearing. They obscured almost their entire faces, and looked like they were made of a buttery-soft leather with horns curling skywards. The bassist was stood on a large piece of scaffolding stage right, and the lead guitarist was standing on the floor surrounded by shards of metal poking out of the floor stage left. The screams and hollers of the crowd grew deafening, and the guitarist ripped straight into a blistering riff that sounded like it’d been spat from the mouth of the devil himself. A scream tore its way out of Eddie’s body, and he began jumping up and down with the crowd, coagulating until he had become One with the throbbing mass of people.

Like Richie’s note had said, Eddie was right at the barrier. His ribs were being crushed against the hard metal every time he leapt up and down, but he hardly noticed it once the vocalist walked out onto stage. The vocalist walked with a swagger that punched Eddie straight in the gut, and before they had even managed to spit out a single syllable, Eddie almost collapsed on the floor. He was held up by Bev, who shot him a questioning look. Eddie didn’t dare speak, move, breath, blink.

“Aw man, look at you see of sexy bitches come all this way to see little old me?” the vocalist brayed, stamping his feet in time with the rhythmic booming of the bass drum.

The crowd roared back in response. Eddie couldn’t breathe.

The vocalist was wearing the same mask as the rest of his bandmates, but that didn’t matter.

“All this noise for me? Too fuckin’ bad I’m gonna make your ears fucking bleeeeeed. This one’s called ‘You’ll Float Too’ and you’re gonna fucking love it” Richie yelled, before screaming like a banshee and launching into the first song.

It was Richie.

It was Richie’s voice.

It was Richie’s voice, Richie’s raspy growl, Richie’s beaten up old boots.

The frontman of the last headliner of Iron Horns was the guy that Eddie had ridden on his shitty little air mattress in his shitty little tent the night before.

Eddie tapped Bev on the shoulder, and soon the taps became almighty whacks when she wouldn’t turn around, but when she did, Eddie knew that she knew.

“IS THAT?!”

“IT IS!”

“FUCKING HELL”

“I KNOW”

Richie paraded up and down the stage, the big black coat he was wearing flapping in the breeze of the industrial fans. Eddie was mesmerised by the way Richie made screaming into the microphone with such tenacity look easy, and the way that Richie leapt around the stage effortlessly. The crowd were screaming, and a pit opened up directly behind Eddie, who clung to the barrier, knuckles bright white, to avoid getting sucked into its depths. Bev, as she always did, disappeared into the centre of the hurricane, and was spat out again several minutes later, eyes gleaming, hair tousled.

– X –

Half way through their last song, Richie locked eyes with Eddie.

Eddie hadn’t been sure that Richie had seen him there, a fleck of sand on the beach, faceless amongst the crowd. But, half way through ‘No Dread, No Desire’, Richie’s eyes locked with his. Of course, Eddie initially thought that Richie could have just so happened to have been staring in his general direction, but when Richie practically ran to the spot directly in front of where Eddie was standing, all doubts dissolved. Richie dropped to his knees and belted the rest of the song directly at Eddie, who needed Bev to hold him up once more.

– X –

Even after Richie had sung the last note of the encore, and bid the crowd farewell, Eddie couldn’t move. He was glued to the spot, practically growing roots. Bev stood next to him, saying nothing, just breathing, loud and heavy breaths curling into the black sky like smoke.

“So”

“So”

“Richie’s in a band”

“Richie’s in … a fucking good band”

“You slept with him”

“I did”

“You slept with a guy in a band”

“I did”

“Are you a groupie now?”

“Fuck off”

A figure appeared on stage, and shuffled towards them. A figure wearing sweatpants and boots with laces that weren’t real laces, but were instead blue, frayed string.  

The figure crouched in front of them.

“Did you like the set?”

“You’re fucking famous” Eddie blurted out, tongue thick and fat in his mouth.

“M’not, not really. The vocalist of Crimson Nightmare is kinda famous, but he’s … he’s not really me. M’just Richie”

“But … Aren’t you the vocalist?”

“Well, yes, I mean technically, but I wear that mask n’ all so… It’s also sort of, not me?”

“Richie I have no idea what to say, I’m like … I’m fucking shaking”

“Good shaking? Bad shaking? Did you hate it? That growl in the third song came out so fucking janky, and I know that I sounded kinda flat in a few of the songs but –“

“You were … spectacular” Eddie breathed, and stared up at Richie with wide, earnest eyes.

“Aw, shit. You’re gonna make me blush, Eddie Spaghetti”

Richie hopped down off the stage, crowding into Eddie’s space. They were separated by a thin metal fence. It was too much distance.

“Beverly, if you don’t want to watch me shove my tongue down Eddie’s throat, I suggest that you avert your eyes, otherwise, enjoy the fuckin’ show”

Bev’s indignant squawk was drowned out by the all-consuming taste on Eddie’s tongue.

– X –

From: Sugar Daddy:

[youtube link]

From: Sugar Daddy:

Last night in Denver. I think you’ll like it <3

Eddie opened the link. It was a video of Crimson Nightmare headlining a spot at Denver arena. The camera was shaky, and the audio screechy, but it was clear enough so Eddie could hear everything Richie was saying.

“Alright, alright, now, I know this is gonna come as a fuckin’ surprise to some of you, or maybe it won’t, but I dedicate this next song to the boy who inspired it. Eddie Spaghetti, this one’s for you, my love, my one, my only”

Screeching guitar and guttural screams filtered out of the shitty speakers of Eddie’s phone. Eddie lay back on his bed, closed his eyes, and drifted.

To: Sugar Daddy:

I love you

[loveistherootofhappiness]

Written for Bathena Week Day 1

Word Count: 2100

Summary: L.A.’s been said to be a weird place, but no truly one knows just how weird it is. No one truly knows what type of people lurk beneath the surface of the city’s famed glamour.

Also read here & here

xxxxx

A loud scream echoed through the small shop, followed by “stop it, Jalen.” The few patrons turned towards the source to see two small children running around. A boy, who is assumed to be Jalen, was chasing the little girl with vampire fangs in his mouth and fake blood on his face.

“But I want to suck your blood, Sophie,” Jalen said with an attempted accent as her chased the little girl, Sophie around the shop.

Jalen, Sophie!” A young woman called out to them, causing the children to stop in their tracks. “I told you guys to stop kidding around. Now get over here.” Sophie and Jalen ran to where the woman was standing. “I’m so sorry about them,” she put the items she wanted to purchase on the counter, “I don’t what’s getting into them, must be the full moon.”

“Oh they’re fine. One of mine gets real rowdy during the full moon,” Athena told her as she rung up the woman’s items. Out of her peripheral vision she could see Robert smiling in amusement. After telling her the total, she paid, “have a great one.”

The woman took the bag from her, “thanks, you too,” she and her kids left.

The few customers that were in the shop payed for the items they had and left. Soon it was empty and there was no one but Robert and Athena in the store.

Robert took advantage of the moment alone. While she was distracted by the books she was writing in, he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, “Have I told how much I love this little shop you’ve got here?” he breathed into her neck. He had to resist the urge to attach his lips to her pulse point.

“Robert, stop, someone could come in at any second.”

“That’s why you should close up shop for a while and come take a walk with me.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” Athena silently moved out of his hold and moved towards the door. “Well, come on before I change my mind.” Athena made sure to lock up behind them when they left.

They weren’t even outside for two second before they heard a woman scream, “my purse!” Bobby and Athena looked back to see a man dressed and all black clothing running with the purse and two other men chasing after him.

Robert looked over at Athena. Her eyes took on their familiar yellow glow. He returned his focus to the guy, who seemed to suddenly trip over his own feet and fall, unceremoniously, to the concrete. The two guys running after were able to retrieve the purse and, deservingly, rough him up a bit.

He smirked as he looked back over at Athena. Her eyes had returned to their natural brown. She turned around and kept walking like nothing happened, “not a word Robert.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Mm hmm.”

“I just find it cute that you always love to help the mortals.” As long as he’d known her and it had been a very long time, over 300 years, she’d always used her magic to help others. It was one of the things he loved most about her.

Athena glared at him and raised a hand. “Your magic doesn’t work on me, treasure. You know that.” He grabbed the hand and kissed the inside of her wrist.

“I don’t need magic to kill you, dearest.” She snatched her arm back. “I know your weaknesses.”

“It funny,” Robert said as he placed his hands behind his back. “You’ve been saying that, practically, since the day we met. Hasn’t happened yet.”

“That’s the amazing thing about immortality, there’s nothing but opportunity.”

“I’m hurt, treasure. Is this the thanks I get for saving you from that burning?”

“Must you always bring that up. And you saved me from nothing. It was laughable that piece of shit priest thought he could kill me.”

“You were tied to a pole, over a fire pit, surrounded by chanting idiots.”

“Semantics.” Athena waved it off as they kept walking, “though, I guess It was fun to see the fear in their eyes and you didn’t leave too much destruction in our wake. Didn’t even kill anyone.”

“Luckily for them I didn’t have to take it that far. They knew not to fuck with you ever again, hell that whole village did, and I knew I couldn’t violate the Wiccan Rede. You’d have been pissed.”

“I’d like to think I would have made an exception for those bastards.”

“After all the restraint I had to muster to completely mutilate them, now she tells me.” She ignored him as they kept walking. They walked in comfortable silence until they reached the Clubhouse a couple of blocks over.

“I should have known we were coming here.”

“Yes, you should have.” Robert saw the look he was giving her, “don’t look at me like that, you know you love it here. Plus, I thought I could use a drink.” His voice dropped an octave.

“You don’t drink alcohol.” Athena said cheekily, pretending she didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Not what I meant, treasure.” He smiled slyly as his pupils dilated and fangs descended.

As they walked into the club, Elaine gave them a wave as they passed the bar on the main floor and headed for his office in the back. As soon the door closed, he picked her up, placed her on the desk, and attached his lips to hers. He kissed along her jawline and moved down to the column of her neck.

“Don’t take too much, have me out here looking ashy like you did last time,” she grumbled.

He chuckled and said, “no promises, your fault you have the sweetest blood I’ve ever tasted,” before his fangs sunk in it the flesh of her neck. She moaned as her blood rushed into his mouth and down her throat. Hers was a taste unlike any other and he’d never tire of it.

His hands moved up her thighs, completely hating she was wearing pants today. Both of them were completely out of it, lost in what he was doing to her when, “oh fuck, sorry.”

Robert, reluctantly, retracted his fangs and lifted his head from Athena’s neck, at the sound of Buck’s voice. He was surprised that he’d been so distracted that he didn’t hear him coming. Athena swiped two fingers along her next and the holes he’d made there had healed. “Yes, Buck, what is it?”

“Oh, um, Lainey said you were back here. I was just coming to see if you needed anything from me, but you’re busy. I’ll come back-“

“It’s fine Buck,” Bobby smelled the strong sent of watermelon as backed up a bit from Athena “Buck did you go raiding watermelon patches again?

“Yeah, but it’s not my fault. There was some really good looking watermelons and I was hungry.”

“Did you let anyone catch you?” Athena asked him.

“No! Of course not. I’m smarter than that most... some of.... well, I was smarter than that today.” Athena raises as an eyebrow at him skeptically, but didn’t say anything further.

“I hope so,” Bobby said remembering what he and Athena had to do last time Buck had been caught shifting into wolf form. Granted he’s done many things he wasn’t proud of in his 350+ years of life, but even he had to hold back a shudder at that. “In any case, go shower and I’ll need your help with bartending when we get busy later.”

“Got it, Pops,” Buck said affectionately, using his term he’s called since they took him and his sister into their little group.

As he was going to close the door, Athena yelled out “and don’t go sniffing that new human bartender, Eddie, when he gets here.”

“No promises,” Buck answered back, never being one to resist the urge to be a little shit. He closed the door leaving Bobby and Athena alone again.

“He’s going to get himself killed.” Athena said with a little worry.

“He’ll be alright. He’s got us.”

“And I love him , but I’m not cleaning up another one of his messes.” She hopped down off the desk, smoothed out her clothing and using the tie on her wrist to pull her braids back.

Robert chuckled as he looked in the mirror. He whipped the traces of blood from his mouth and righted his clothing. “The others are here.”

“Yes, I feel their energy too. I think you’ve had your fill of me. Let’s go out there with them.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, treasure.” He strolled back over to where she was standing and gave her a peck on the lips “I could never have my fill of you.”

“I love you, too, Robert,” she said simply.

“Woah, you said that without sass or snark. I might need to be scared.”

“And I immediately regret it.” Robert went to respond but she stopped him, “let’s just go.”

Athena rolled her eyes at the laughter she behind her as she walked ahead of him. The walked out of the office and through the people scattered around to head to the section upstairs. Sitting in one of the booths at the end they found Hen, Chim, Maddie, and Buck already in the middle of a discussion. Robert and Athena slid into the booth beside them.

“With the full moon this week, Karen and I thought it’d be a good time to take Denny on his first hunt, but I don’t know if around Halloween is the best time to take him. He’s been begging us and he’s mastered shifting, but there are so many crazies in this town this time of year.” Hen said.

Maddie removed her arm from around Chimney to touch Hen’s shoulder. “Yeah, it can be scary, I remember when I took Buck on his first hunt. I was so worried his inexperience was going to draw unwanted attention. Unfortunately, it’s crazies out every day of the year. But he’s gotta learn how to hold his own.”

“This is L.A. of course this town is full of crazies trying to catch a glimpse of the supernatural and paranormal. One person out out a video of a possible sighting and now this place is chock full of amateur hunters trying to get cannon fodder for their bullshit YouTube channels. Speak of the devil, excuse me for a sec,” Chimney disappeared in a flash and reappeared just as quickly, “sorry about that some kids were playing around with a Ouija board trying to conjure a demon. So I gave them one. Scared the shit outta all of them.”

Everyone else, not phased and used to what just happened continued on as normal. “I remember the days when speaking of the possibility of stuff like this got people tossed in asylums.” Bobby commented.

“Right?” Athena agreed. “Might need to return to that, shits getting out of hand.”

“Well, I think it’s cool that humans are so cool with the idea of the supernatural and paranormal. Certainly makes it easier to exist and coexist with them,” Buck leaned across the table to steal some of Maddie’s food.

“You only say that because you want that bartender that just started working here.” Chimney deadpanned.

“No. Well, I do want him, but that’s not the only reason I said that.”

“Well whatever, I’m just glad we have a place like this where us supers can just be free and not have to worry about walking on eggshells around humans.”

“And we have Bobby to thank for it.” Hen held up her glass in salute.

“Thank Athena, she came up with the concept of this place. I just brought it to life.” Robert kissed Athena on the temple and brought her closer to him, “also when I do hire humans I make sure they are okay with everything that could take place here.” He looked directly at Buck.

Buck eyed them both. “he’s here, he’s at the bar now.” Athena told him. Buck was up and out of the booth and practically sprinted down the stairs like the over eager pup that he was.

Athena and Robert turned around to see Buck down at the bar, leaning over the counter, talking to Eddie.

“I hope this goes well,” Athena commented as they watched them. She thought about listening in on the conversation, but she ultimately decided against it.

“Of course it will, treasure, you’ve never been wrong before. He’ll be the one that keeps him out of trouble.”

A little supernatural au for your morning. I left it open just in case I wanted to go back and do more. Were you able to guess what everyone was (hopefully I made it obvious enough).

[timelock97]

Love Without A Name

Chapter Five: The Morning Of

Word Count: 2605

Masterlist

Warnings: Language

A/N: I used a church setting, I have never been to another wedding besides catholic weddings so I skipped the more religious parts just to let you know in advance!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wakey, wakey, bitch!" Celine yells, walking into the shared hotel room where Mae, Joyce, and I had been previously peacefully sleeping. "It's show day!"

"Correction" Mae murmurs, muffled against her pillow, "it's her wedding day, not a show day."

"Hush, it's still gonna be amazing!" Celine jumps on the bed and begins to bounce on her knees until she is practically on top of me, "C'mon, you still gotta shower and eat. Then we can head to the church!" When I don't move, Celine turns until her back is facing me and plants herself on top of me, a groan leaving my lips at the sudden weight." C'mon (Y/N), it's the big day!"

"Please tell me you at least brought breakfast?" I uncover my head slightly, peeking out from under the duvet to find her eyes in the dimly lit room.

"You know it!" She calls as sits up and bounces to the end of the bed. Once off, she takes the last bit of effort she knows will force me out of bed by flinging off the covers, revealing my pajama clad body that was no match against the small chill in the room. She makes her way back to her backpack where she begins to pull out three other Starbucks reusable cups from inside. How she got back here without spilling them is a mystery in itself.

I groan, finally rolling out of bed and making my way over to have a small sip of coffee and attempt to snatch a bit of one of the bagels she has brought with her, only to have my hand slapped away.

"Nope! This will be waiting here for you after a quick shower! The hot water will cause you to not digest as easily!"

"Who told you that, Cel?" I grumble, taking my coffee with me to the small bathroom.

"You did!" She sings back, a breathy chuckle leaving my lips as I shake my head at her.

Shutting the door behind me, I lean against it. I take a slow breathe in through my nose, and let it out slowly through my mouth before meeting my own gaze in the mirror. My pajama shirt was falling to one side, and pulled forward so that the collar of the shirt showed off the bareness of my chest. My hair that had been up in a bun before bed was falling out excessively around my shoulders. I can't help but smile at my reflection. "Today's the day." I whisper to my reflection. A small squeal falls past my lips as I begin undressing before hopping into the shower to wash the grim of the night away. Taking the time to exfoliate and shave, making sure to not miss any spots (or at least trying to), nearly cutting myself when a loud bang comes from the door.

"Your food's gonna be cold, let's go our beautiful bride!" Celine calls, making Mae and Joyce giggle along with her.

"Be out in a minute!" I call, rinsing out my hair out one more time before turning off the water and hopping out. I lather lotion down my legs and arms before dressing into a tee shirt and shorts, throwing my hair into a clip, and joining the girls back at the table. Today was the first day to the rest of my life.

When we arrive at the church, I take a minute to wave the girls off to the room we'd be spending a few hours in before the ceremony. I stand in the main space looking at the little kid drawings from past Sunday school classes and events. I walk slowly over to the main doors of the church hall, placing my hands on the handles and pushing them open. The room was dimly lit from the morning light flooding in from the vast windows. The pews were decorated with small flower arrangements, bits of lavender and forget-me-nots shining through the most. I brush my fingers against a few of the petals as I walk down to the first pew. I sit softly, fold my hands, and shut my eyes, letting any insecurities into the air to be filtered away from my heart for the remaining afternoon. Please, please, please, let today go better than planned.

"Hello." My head snaps up to look at the man in front of me; I immediately recognize that he had to be the priest. "Having a nice conversation?" He smiles gently before motioning if he can sit down.

"Yeah," I move to the side a bit so that he can sit beside me. "It helps with the stress, getting all my anxieties out to him, and making a few wishes too."

He hums, nodding his head. "What are some things you're wishing for?"

"Uh, a happy marriage," I giggle, watching the smile spread further across his face, "That everyone enjoys the day, that my fiancé isn't disappointed in who I am."

His eyes light up, smile growing impossibly bigger. "So my suspicions were correct, you're the bride."

"Yeah," I stick my hand out for the man to shake, "I'm (Y/N)."

"Father Richard Hall. Your fiancé has been excited for this day for a while; told me all about you."

"Really?" I giggle.

"Mhm," he lets go of my hand after giving it another firm squeeze. "Talks about how beautiful and how down to earth you are; says he couldn't be getting married to a more perfect girl."

"He hasn't even seen me-"

"Love doesn't have to see to know." He gives me another smile before standing, "Well, I will leave you to finish your conversation. It was nice to talk to you." He waves softly before walking to a side door and disappearing inside.

I let out another sigh before standing, walking out the main doors, and down the hall looking at all the signs to point me and my soon-to-be husband in the right direction without bumping into each other. The conversation between Mae, Celine, Joyce, and Hazel lead me to the room, the three of them giggling while a woman is set at the counter pulling out makeup and hair products as well as another woman who has her camera ready to take pictures who smile happily at me when I enter.

"There you are!" Hazel proclaims, walking away from the girls to pull me into a quick hug. She is dressed in a royal purple, knee length dress with capped sleeves. "Get changed, then Miranda can get started on your hair!"

I giggle and nod, walking past the girls who make a few silly faces at me as I pass before slipping into the bathroom and undress, changing the bra and panties for a nude pair and a body shaper, pulled and clipped to the bra to keep me looking slim. I grab the robe and slip it over my shoulders, tying it around the waist before stepping out and walking over to the woman who would be doing both my makeup and hair today.

"You ready, darling?" She muses, smiling at me through the mirror, hands already unclipping my hair to play with.

"As I will ever be," I whisper as she turns me away from the mirror.

Through the whole process of getting my hair and makeup done, I busied myself by conversating with Mae and Celine, checking with Hazel about a few things for the day that she had kept hidden from me (most at which she still did), and playing on my phone to post a few pictures from the past week.

"Alright, (Y/N), are you ready to see your final look?" Miranda giggles, standing in front of me.

"Turn me around!" I place my hands in front of my face as she does. A soft gasp falls past my lips, "Holy cow!" I tilt my head to the side; the half up half down curled hairdo framed my face perfectly, and let's not gets started on the make-up. She had done it naturally, making my eyes pop and gave my skin a healthy glow. "Miranda, I love it, thank you!" I turn in the chair to the side so I can stand and pull her into a warm hug.

"No problem, sweetie. Let me spray your face with the setting spray then we will be done! And I will stick around to make sure you don't need a touch up before or after the ceremony."

"I appreciate it," I giggle, shutting my eyes for the setting spray, the mist cooling my skin. "Now I just have to get dressed!"

"I am gonna step out for a few minutes, no misbehaving!" Hazel calls with her phone going to her ear, leaving us alone in the room.

My eyes dart over to Celine, who was already dressed in her light salmon pink dress that billows around her waist. She makes eye contact with me, shooting me a mischievous smile. "You think you can sneak out and deliver it now?"

"Oh hells yes, she won't even notice I'm gone." Celine walks over to me, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

"What did you do again?" Mae laughs, walking over to the two of us, Joyce not too far behind.

"Well, my fiancé likes Marvel stuff too, Spider-Man especially, so I got him a pair of socks and a note that says, 'just in case you get cold feet, I'll see you soon.' as well as a few other things that are for his eyes only with my name signed at the bottom; figured it would be nice since we haven't heard from each other in a week."

"Hand it over before I get caught!" Celine giggles, taking the small box from my hands. "Wish me luck! Get changed so we can do some quick girl photos before Hazel kicks us out."

"Luck!" I call as she slips out of the door. I turn and grab my wedding dress from off the hanger. "Wait, Cathy?" I look at the photographer, "did you happen to get a picture of the dress on the hanger?"

"Yup, you are all set, (Y/N)."

"Okay, perfect," I slip off the robe, not bothering to care about who was in the room since it was just the girls. I slip on the dress, Mae helping me fiddle it into place and zip me up. I turn and look in the mirror and let out a soft sigh, "Oh my God."

"You look beautiful, (Y/N)." Mae whispers, moving a little closer beside me; Joyce joining on the other side bouncing on the balls of her feet in agreement.

"You really do, sis." A voice mutters behind me, causing me to spin on the balls of my feet to see Lucas and Mark standing in the doorway, tears pricking their eyes.

Mark nods, lifting a hand to carefully wipe a tear from his eye. "Look gorgeous, pipsqueak."

"What are you two doing here?" I breathe, a hand coming to my chest to hold a small necklace that had been my grandmothers and the other goes to holds Mae's for comfort. My bare feet feel glued to the hardwood floor, but I want nothing more than to close the distance and to see my brothers up close after four months silence.

"You really didn't think we would miss our baby sister getting married, did you?" Mark snarks.

I turn my head to the side, the hand on my necklace tightening. "Honestly, yeah I did." I look up to see both their faces fall, but I continue, eyes directed at them only. "I figured I would, and that really broke my heart. But seriously, what are you two doing here?"

Lucas runs a hand through his hair before letting out a light laugh. "Your fiancé paid us a visit at the shop."

"We were pretty surprised too. He walked in, gave us his name and said he was the man that was marrying our little sister." Mark states, scuffing his foot on the floor. "He hoped if he were to tell us about how much you meant to him and how lucky he was to have you that we would come around."

"He said, and I quote, 'I fell for your sister without knowing what she looked like, it's the most simple of love I have. I don't have to be able to see her to know she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know she wants you to be there, you're her family, so I am trying to make it right by coming by and talking it out.' We were definitely surprised to say the least, but we decided that we still don't like or trust him, but we respect him." Lucas smiles gently, shrugging.

"And we love you, and we want you to be happy, so here we are. Ready to support whatever decision you make, even if we think you aren't making the best decision."

"And Mom and Dad?" I whisper.

"Waiting for us to apologize in case it went south." Mark laughs, quickly getting elbowed in the ribs by Lucas. "What, it's true!"

"Then go grab them, dipshit-" Lucas shoves him to the side.

"Hey," Mark points a finger at Lucas, "we are in a church-"

"Right, my bad. Go grab them, ya narwhal."

Mark rolls his eyes at Lucas and walks to the door, motioning just outside the door. My parents walk in and my mother lets out a gasp when she sees me, her hands flying to her face to attempt to fan away the tears. "Look at you, baby, you look so beautiful."

I pull her into my arms, hugging her tightly once she is close enough. Soon I look over her shoulder at my father. "Daddy?"

He visibly swallows, tears in his eyes. "Will you still allow me to walk you down the aisle, (Y/N)?" He whispers, tears finally falling. I reach for him, pulling him into the hug as well. Lucas and Mark quickly join, squishing me between the four of them.

"I love you guys," I whisper, going to wipe my eyes only to realize I had makeup on. "Fuck, Miranda, help." I whine.

She giggles from her place on the wall before walking toward me. "I can fix that."

"Thank, God." I giggle, "I don't wanna look like a raccoon walking down the aisle."

The door creaking open catches my attention, as well as everyone else's. "My other un-biological baby sister, where you been?" Mark calls, pulling Celine into a quick, tight hug.

"Running an errand for your actual sister." Celine states, but I can hear the slight, nervous tremor in her voice.

"You okay, Cel?"

"Yeah," I watch as she straightens up, giving me a bright smile before setting a small piece of paper on the counter. It has your name on it, and the handwriting almost looks too perfect. "I got this for you, but let's take pictures first yeah?"

"Yeah, then you guys can go find your seats." I state back, standing and grabbing the girls for a few pictures as well as my family. Once done, and everyone is still mingling, my eyes find the envelope that was left on a small coffee table. I grab the it, and tear open the top, fishing my hand inside to grab a piece of stiff card stock.

___

My love,

I hope you don't get cold feet either. I am beyond excited to finally see you. 2 o'clock cannot come any faster. See you soon.

I love you.

Thomas Holland

___

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! 

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[mucky-puddler]

So, I’m doing a module on Kubrick, and I’m bringing you along for the ride

Context; I’m required to upload weekly blogs about the lectures and screenings and readings from the week. This is that.

Okay, so first is the lecture; one of the first things Nathan said is that Kubrick is that he has a film in every genre other than a western - we were not given a reason why; I guess he just hates them.

After my first introduction to Kubrick, I didn’t really know what to think about him - he seems a little high maintenance because he was very nit-picky about something changing on his set, whether that was a slight difference in the lighting or a prop had shifted. It should come as a surprise to no-one that Kubrick was an avid photographer as a young man because the skills he learnt whilst as a photographer at Look Magazine have bled through into his film-making. I also enjoy photography, so I connected with him at least on a very surface level. His other hobbies, like chess and other physical sports, also can be seen manifesting themselves through his work - some good, brief examples are his three short docu-style films. Day of the Fight illustrates his passion for sport and shows how he experimented with his photography at the same time; a good example of this is what I am calling the ‘under-the-fight’ shot, where the boxers are shot from underneath - we can see both of their faces and where the blows are hitting, and it gives the audience a glimpse into what it might have been like to see the fight live. Perhaps his strength and talent in photography lead people to see him as a “New York Intellectual” - part of me thinks that the deep and entwining themes came along after his experience as a photographer.

As most filmmakers do, Kubrick responded to the debates and ideas of his time, and made films within the context of those issues (more on this later). He seemed a little stuck up, especially when considering that he did not compromise his stylistic or intellectual integrity; some might say that that is noble of him, that he remains true to himself and the standards he upholds, but try thinking about it from the other crew’s point of view - he might have turned down their ideas because they did not align with his. This is, of course, speculation and I have no evidence to prove either way. Also, I’ve been informed that he had to check everything himself and didn’t trust other people to make his imagination come to life, which seems controlling to me - for example, he would often insist on holding the camera himself in order to effectively portray a point of view or something. I think if he could direct, hold the camera, do all the edits, record the sound, and act all the characters, he would. It would appear that he wanted everything to be just how he wanted it - but maybe that’s my pessimistic mindset coming through.

Let’s talk about the first three shorts Kubrick was commissioned to do. The first was called “Day of the Fight” in 1951 and is a documentary about Walter Cartier, an Irish middleweight boxer preparing for a fight. The narration, paired with the footage shot by Kubrick himself, informs the audience of how a semi-professional boxer prepares for a fight. Through this short piece, we can see Kubricks interests creep in - his enjoyment of sport and passion for chess is represented by the boxing itself, but also his love for animals can be seen through his inclusion of Cartier's dog. It is in this piece that the first ‘under-the-fight’ shot is used, emphasising his love for interesting shot and photography. His next short is called “The Flying Padre” (also 1951) and is another docu-piece about the priest Father Fred Stadtmuller who used his plane to spread the word of God and reach as many people as possible. He is portrayed as a lawful good hero, a Superman type. This is the shortest of the three, and there isn’t much more to say about it. The final short Kubrick released was made in 1953 called “The Seafarers”, and contained information about the perks that these navy-esque men receive for their service. It sheds an innocently positive light on the domestic aspects of their work and the options available for them (although they do say the word ‘seafarers’ far too much). It looks like some of the short were staged, especially as Kubrick probably would have had only one camera, but that is a common method to use when creating docu-style pieces. One question I did have though, nothing to do with Kubrick though, is how are the families of the seafarers perceived? Are they judged or pitied for not having a man around (because it was the 50′s, ya know)?

I’ll briefly (or not) discuss the other two feature-length films that Kubrick released about the same time. In 1955 he released “The Killers Kiss” whose story revolved around an ex-boxer and a dancer who fell in love and wanted to run away together to escape her creepy boss. As is the case with all of Kubrick’s films so far, this one started with some internal monologuing. The first 15 minutes or so heavily mirror “Day of the Fight”, from the vanity inspection beforehand to the ‘under-the-fight’ shot, which makes sense - Kubrick was only in his 20s when both of these films were released and his experience (like most of ours) was limited at the time (also we all draw inspiration from previous work/real life or whatever). Other than the glaring social issues (gotta love the 50′s) and peculiar plot holes, I felt that the music offset the desired atmosphere during scenes that were meant to be particularly tense - we learned that Kubrick enjoyed his music, jazz, in particular, so I find it strange that he would not try to better match the music with the intensity of the scene; perhaps it was that he did not have much music to work with. Kubrick uses a lot of noir features in this film e.g. harsh shadows, casting light through slatted blinds, utilising the aesthetic of smoking and fedora hats standing at street corners and at the ends of dark alleys, which I always enjoy. The second film we were introduced to was “The Killing” from 1956 - according to Nathan, this film inspired Tarantino to use split narrative, and this is one of the worlds first heist films. I don’t have as much to say about this one, both sport and chess can be seen within it illustrating Kubrick’s love for them both, it has a lot of noir tropes, and I think there was a gay couple in it? But I might be reading into it a little too deeply. There was an interesting switch of gender roles between two couples - in one, the man was dominant and overbearing, but in the other couple it was the woman who essentially bullied her partner, which was potentially quite progressive when considering the time in which it was released.

Here’s a brief (actually, this time) intro to the film I want to focus on - “Fear and Desire” was the first Kubrick film I watched, I had no expectations or thoughts about it beforehand and didn’t really know what to make notes on. After doing some reading, certain things became clearer, so I’ll pair the reading with some of my notes on the film itself.

In the introduction of the reading, James Enyeart talks a lot about the implications and developments of photography in the mid 19th century - these are some of the attributes he gives it;

- highly graphic and structures

- photographers had a keener eye

- composition gave structure and harmony

- gave a more aesthetically pleasing view of the world

- the more graphic an image and the more dramatic it’s presentation, the stronger the emotion

I agree with these conclusions - obviously, technology has advances since then, but these comments still ring true today. Additionally, Enyeart discusses photos in relation to the context they provide, and I have a theory; if a collection of photos can give more context than a single image, therefore a film (which is a series of photos shown in quick succession) can give the maximum amount of context? Alternatively, it could have the opportunity to convey multiple contexts, which could be considered themes?

Word of the day; Apotheosis – a perfect form or example of something, the highest or best part of something, elevation to a divine status.

I also agree with Enyeart’s comment suggesting that the overlap of cinematic photography, fiction, reality, and documentary style is the apotheosis of film.

Cherchi Usai’s chapter on Kubrick and “Fear and Desire” is more tailored to discussing the film – also I didn’t read any of the other chapters because I didn’t have time and that shit is long.

One of the biggest things discussed is how Kubrick hated the film in question (and I have to partially agree – it’s not great), but what is interesting is that no one can seem to agree whether it is a masterpiece or not. After the film was made and ready to be distributed, Kubrick was in love with it, as any young creative is with their most recent work. It is said he called “it’s structure; allegorical. It’s conception; poetic.” However, soon after its public release, critics called it “amateur” and said nothing more. However, after the initial hype, Kubrick ignored the fact that it ever existed, and it was after that that critics and fanatics thought the work to be more than it’s original worth. To me, it feels like a stranger wandered into Kubrick’s childhood bedroom and riffled through his GCSE artwork to find something for a museum – I do not understand why “Fear and Desire” is obsessed over.

It was at this point that I debated whether I wanted or even cared about the origins of the film, but my degree told me yes.

Also, keeping a camera in a paper bag is terrible camera care and hurts my physically.

One of the main points that were discussed was the theme of obsession – Kubrick had obsessions in his life, and he made films surrounding obsessions of different themes; death, lust, war, money, fear (also narration and film noir for Kubrick himself). In the film “Fear and Desire”, those obsessions are made manifest through Mac’s conversation with Corby about the Governor – he is obsessed with killing the enemy and winning the war, so much so that he died for his cause.

The final point to discuss is the double use of the actors – the actor for Corby also plays the Governor, which adds an air of humanity. Additionally, the narration played over their images is existential and inward-looking, therefore humanising both sides of the war.