#i guess this also stems from the idea that his obsession has clouded his good memories

[mfdragon]

The Revelation

*screams* Can't believe I managed to complete 12 pages of something!

But yea this was an idea born from the good!Vlad au I'm coming up with; the idea of "what would need to happen for Vlad to actually make the first move and reach out to Jack and Maddie?"

I hope his suffering brings you joy :3

Next >

[idontblushsrry]

Hikaru Hitachiin||SFW Alphabet

A/N: Will this include Hikaru slander? Yes. Hikaru stans come get ur food, enjoy!

Word Count: 2219

A: Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Hikaru shows affection physically. He’s much too prideful to admit (bar the rare and private confessions of adoration and love) his love for you through words or actions and he prefers to receive instead of give gifts. But a little arm around your shoulder, holding your hand in his pocket, small pecks on the cheek and you more than know how much Hikaru loves you.

B: Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Hikaru likely becomes best friends with you via pranks. He takes note of you when you catch him trying to mess with Tamaki and give him a few pointers on how to better scare the poor blonde. From there, it’s history.

C: Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Hikaru loves to cuddle. He becomes especially clingy at night at which point all he wants to do is hold you. When he’s away from you, he still prefers to cuddle with something so he’ll substitute you for a pillow. Not the same but it gets the job done until he can return home to you and get wrapped up in your arms again.

D: Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Hikaru likes the idea of settling down. He’d definitely want to head to the countryside or somewhere mountainous that’s surrounded by beaches. He likes the thought of you and him being together in your own little pocket of the world. As for cooking and cleaning, he can’t do either and has no interest in doing so, so he’d probably pay a few servants to do the work for him.

E: Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If Hikaru had to break up with you, it’d likely be the result of both of you needing to part ways so that you can work on yourselves before trying to give the relationship another shot. Hikaru generally acts unaffected (and depending on the length of your relationship, he is) but deep down he resolves to become better for you.

F: Fiance(e) (How would they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He doesn’t really like the idea of marriage because he views it as an expensive mess that ends in an even more expensive divorce. He does like the idea of spending his life with you but if yall ever got married he might just get a pre-nup. Overall though, he’s not really the sort for marriage, the legal part of it especially gives him anxiety, and to be honest, when he knows that he’s committed to you, it just is. Loving and being with you becomes as natural as breathing for him.

G: Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Hikaru isn’t really gentle at all. Like he definitely tries to be soft and tender with you but also he likes to pinch your butt when you walk past, and really is he so terrible for that? (Kind of, that shit be hurtin mf)

H: Hugs( Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Please hug Hikaru, he won’t ask for it or initiate aside from throwing his arm around your waist/shoulder. He craves your hugs and whenever you hug him it’s like the clouds part and a rainbow shines down onto your relationship. Hikaru’s hugs, as a result of his refusal to just ask for a hug, are always a little clingy, desperate to hold you tight to him for as long as possible.

I: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word)

One of Hikaru’s biggest regrets is how fast he said ‘I love you’. It was spur of the moment and he didn’t mean it, he just thought he had to say it because you’d both been dating for 3 months and he just straight up didn’t mean it. The look on your face was filled with so much joy that he feels disgusted with himself whenever he thinks back to it. Now every time he says he loves you, he tries his hardest to make sure that you understand just how much he means it. He never wants you to doubt the depth of his devotion for you.

J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous)

He and Kaoru are already getting that gleam in their eye. In all seriousness though, he gets really pouty and everything becomes a competition between him and the person he’s jealous of. It’s like, “Oh, you’re on track to become an olympic class track runner? That’s cool I guess, what’s really impressive is the fact that I’m 5′9″. It’s embarrassing for both of you, and you just apologize for him before walking away, dragging him along with you.

K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Hikaru’s kisses are a lot like him in the sense that they’re exciting with a hint of trouble. Hikaru enjoys flustering you by kissing you in as many public places as passionately as possible before walking off and acting like everything’s all normal. He likes to smirk into kisses and his kisses are so intense that most times they turn into makeout sessions despite neither of you really planning it.

L: Little ones (How are they around children)

Hikaru is kid of awkward around kids. He doesn’t really care too much for them and so whenever they’re around, he tends to just hand them off to the nearest person who cares for children. He genuinely doesn’t know what to do so if he’s left alone with a kid he’ll just kinda stare and ask if they need food or something.

M: Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Hikaru are sweet but stressful. Hikaru has an alarm that plays music and sends confetti instead of a more traditional one, and while Hikaru’s used to the sound of his alarm clock, you aren’t, and sleep right through it. Does Hikaru think ‘oh maybe I should wake Y/N up?’ Nope. He just sits there and stares at you until you naturally wake up on your own. You wake up so peacefully and stare at him until you get a glimpse at the time and start panicking and yelling at him for not waking you up sooner. 

N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Hikaru are the calmest you’ll ever see him. He’s very sleepy and gets 1000% clingier. Whether it’s wrapping his arms and legs around you as he sleeps or you letting him sit on your lap while he applies both your and his face mask, nighttime Hikaru is just a clingy sweetheart trying to make up for a day of him acting like he’s not fully in love with you.

O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Hikaru is a very layered person. Just when you think you’ve discovered something about him, you actually just barely scratched the surface. He tries to be more and more open with you, hiding less from you. But it’s not exactly easy to break his habit of not/fear of being open.

P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Hikaru is a little brat, which means if he doesn’t get his way he will resort to mischief and then angry pouting. He gets angry kind of easily but he’s just gotten good at hiding it. Over the course of his relationship with you, he does start to chill out a bit, not getting his way doesn’t bother him as much anymore.

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you?  Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Hikaru remembers weird bits of information about you at the strangest and most inopportune moments. Like you’ll be talking to Kyoya while Hikaru is talking with his clients and he’ll just suddenly remember mid-act that you were like school council president at your elementary school or something and completely freeze and break character. 

R: Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment in your relationship (although this was technically before the two of you were together) was after the host club’s ball, you walked up to him like “I know the party’s over but may I have this dance.” He accepted of course and you both danced the night away. Just thinking about that day sends butterflies running through his stomach and he swoons for you all over again.

S: Security (How protective are they? How would they like to be protected?)

Hikaru is super protective over you. If he’s out and about with you somewhere and he feels like you’re in danger (not too common but always a risk with him being rich), he’s activating emergency defense protocol procedures. He’s also kinda dramatic about it like if you bump into the edge of the coffee table he’ll laugh at you but then while you aren’t looking, he’s calling to have the whole table removed. Have mercy on whoever decides to bother you though because he and Kaoru are not above jumping.

T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Hikaru puts a lot of effort into your dates, he enjoys the challenge of trying to one up his last attempt as well as trying to surprise you each time. He’s not really the type to give gifts unless they’re in the form of clothes, but he’d much rather get gifts than give them. He does get a little upset if he starts feeling like he’s the only one trying so shake things up by surprising him instead (wipe that all-knowing grin off his face). Despite the fact that he’ll try to act like he doesn’t try that hard, he really does want to impress you and he tries his hardest to do so.

U: Ugly (What are some bad habits of theirs? (I’m gonna add arguments here because they aren’t on the prompt list I found))

A bad habit of Hikaru’s is that he has a tendency to try and pick fights. No matter where this stems from, he tends to try and bait you into fights or disagreements. He doesn’t even realize that he does this until you point it out to him. (Well honestly you pointed it out, then in disbelief he went and asked the host club at which point, they agreed, and he was left in shock at their lack of hesitation).

V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Hikaru, like Tamaki, is obsessed with his looks. He often lies and says that it’s Kaoru who’s obsessed with looks, but Hikaru goes absolutely feral if someone so much as touches any of his beauty products. He honestly doesn’t even want you to touch them unless you’re coming back from buying his stuff at the store.

W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

At first, Hikaru kinda treats your relationship with him like an exchange. He’s terrified you’re only interested in him for his looks or his money and so he does everything possible to make you stay because he was scared of what it would be like to be a person without you. He does break out of that dependent mindset eventually though. To be completely honest, you both probably break up because of Hikaru’s dependent tendencies and only get back together once both of you grew without the other for a while.

X: (E)xes (Any previous relationship experience. How does that factor into your current relationship?)

 Hikaru has absolutely no relationship experience as he’s spent the last however may years of his life fending off all potential interaction with people who weren’t Kaoru with a stick.

Y: Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner)

Hikaru’s only real turn-offs are people with no sense of style. Of course, it’s not a huge deal breaker but you pretty much have to be ok with being Hikaru’s personal doll. He also really dislikes boring people, like if your life can be summed up in a resume, he’s skipping past you. Another thing that he looks for in his partner is, obviously, the ability to tell the difference between him and his twin. If you can’t do that, he’s already written you off completely.

Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Hikaru sleeps fully and completely in the nude, like no boxers or anything. Initially, it was kind of a joke/ look at me thing but now he can’t help himself. Now, it’s fine between the two of you now, but the first time you spent the night at Hikaru’s house, only to find he’d somehow stripped all the way down in his sleep come morning, was...surprising to say the least. (You couldn’t look him in the eye for almost a month afterwards)

[whatiwillsay]

t 2017 playlist analysis

Alright folks, whether you’re newly indoctrinated in the swiftgron faith, or have been here for a while, buckle up because boy is there crack coming your way.  It should be important to note that these are of course reaches and should be taken with a grain/pound of salt.  What you’re about to read is a lyrical analysis of a playlist made by Dianna on her private spotify, titled ‘t 2017.’  Therefore, the only real ‘evidence’ we have to make connections lies in the lyrics, and the general vibe of the playlist.

The following lyrical analyses stems from the idea that Taylor and Dianna may, and I strongly say may have hooked up, possibly around late 2016, or early 2017 (right when this playlist was made).  If you haven’t already, I highly suggest reading Cam’s Swiftgron timeline that she has meticulously and laboriously outlined for all of us, so you have more background knowledge on any reaches/connections made.  Also listen to her pod for extra serotonin cause I know you bitches want it.  Anyway, I digress– I’ll be pointing out only the songs/lyrics that I think are most relevant (and to make this post shorter, I apologize in advance) but I urge y’all to take a look at each songs’ lyrics to see for yourself, because some of these songs seem loud af.  Ok happy reading!

Genesis- Grimes

My heart, I never feel I never see I never know Oh, heart And then it falls And then I fall And then I know

This verse talks about the unpredictable nature of love, you never know when those feelings could come rushing in, and there could be days when you feel like you’re never going to love again– gives me cowboy like me vibes with that particular sentiment.

Home and I know Playing the deck above It’s always different I am the one in love

Ok I don’t think this one needs any explanation other than tis the damn season.

1998- Chet Faker

We used to be friends We used to be inner circle I don’t understand What have I become to you

This verse is giving me major the 1 vibes– “rosé flowing with your chosen family” kinda thing.  Relationships (yes, even hookups) are hard, especially when you go from knowing someone like the back of your hand, to a being a mere memory.  It’s even harder when you run in the same social circles and are bound to bump into each other.  What are you to do with all those unresolved emotions/lack of closure?  I just find this a bit funny because two years later at SNL, Dianna is actually considered Taylor’s ‘inner circle’ at the afterparty.  

Drops- Jungle

When you’re so high, you When you fall from the sky, you So come down from the clouds Come down on me

I’ve been loving you too long

I’ve been loving you too long

This song sort of encapsulates the feeling of love that is intoxicating, one might even say addicting.  In that sense, I’m getting major Style vibes, in that they keep coming back to each other because of that high and intoxicated love.  More than anything, this verse reminds me of Clean, and of course Dianna’s infamous tweet, “withdrawals…clearly we had fun” (see Cam’s swiftgron masterpost/timeline for receipts).

Ritual Union- Little Dragon

Straight off the bat, this song gives off major infidelity vibes (something Taylor has been obsessed with as evidenced by Evermore, and of course Babe which btw had a lot of social media signalling/shenanginas happening in 2017/2018).  Perhaps Winston was the cuck after all and we did get a swiftgron hookup? 

Ritual union’s got me in trouble again I was wonderin’ of a white dress And the mistress And a spirit holding my hand!

You do the math with that one– ivy anyone?

Daniel- Bat For Lashes

Daniel when I first saw you I knew that you had a flame in your heart And under our blue skies Marble movie skies I found a home in your eyes We’ll never be apart

I only have two words to explain this verse– Begin Again

But in a goodbye bed With my arms around your neck Into our love the tears crept Just catch in the eye of the storm

With this verse in particular, there’s this sense of a heartbreaking parting of ways in a relationship.  It feels eerily similar to This Love– “your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave.”  There’s also a mention of a storm, and we all love a good old storm in the swiftgron universe (Clean, DBATC, CIWYW).

Can’t Do Without You- Caribou

I swear to god these are the only two lyrics

Can’t do without

I can’t do without you

Make of that what you will.

Touch- Shura

This was the song that had me fully convinced that swiftrgon might’ve hooked up again in the recent past.  It’s so fucking loud and I did audibly gasp when I read these lyrics.  I’m so tempted to post the entire song because honestly every lyric fits their narrative almost to a t, but I’ll try putting the loudest lyrics here.

There’s a love between us still But something’s changed and I don’t know why And all I wanna do is go home with you But I know I’m out of my mind

This love is good, this love is bad.  This slope is treacherous, I like it.  If the hookup did happen, it’s clear that it’s a bit hard to just pick up immediately from where you left off.  Of course there’s still a lot of love there, it just takes time for those years to melt away.

I wanna touch you but I’m too late I wanna touch you but there’s history I can’t believe that it’s been three years Now when I see you, it’s so bittersweet

Ok this is basically swiftgron’s story right here, I mean come on?!?

I’m running down a dream like Tom Petty, I’m a heartbreaker But then you changed up a relationship, I’m mostly bankrupt There’s a new kid on your block, I gotta hang tough

Cowboy like me anyone?

Yeah, the effect of touch hands is like a miracle How is it you’re halfway across the world when I’m still feeling you? Just a touch of my love, just a little bit Ain’t no love without trust, we gotta deal with this

Gives me treacherous and wonderland vibes– “I’ll do anything you say if you say it with your hands” and “you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had.”

iT- Christine and the Queens

I feel like this song gives off major Reputation vibes– controlling your narrative/ ridiculing what other people thought you were, etc. 

With it I become the death Dickinson feared With it I’m the red admiral on his ship And I raise with infants for my coronation I’ve ruled over my all my dead impersonations

‘Cause I’ve got it I’m a man now

Sunday Love- Bat For Lashes

This is a literal weekend hookup anthem (major tis the damn season vibes) and is also one of the other songs that convinced me of the swiftgron hookup.  Again, please look at all the lyrics and deduce for yourself and freak out like I did, but I’m putting the loudest lyrics down.

See her in blue eyes Numb and shining In the face of strangers In the city lights Where he’s climbing Cupid’s diving And I know that she’s come To spend the night

She is in my bedroom Now I can’t fight 

Blue eyed lady coming to your house to fuck you. Ok Dianna, real subtle with that. I’m joking but I snorted when I saw this lyric.

I see her in every place I go Sunday love is so cold Even though I’m falling apart I want Sunday love in my heart

You could call me babe for the weekend cause it’s the damn season.  Also “I see you everywhere the only thing we share is this small town.”

Sweet Talk- Jessie Ware

There’s never any doubts when i need you It’s just that you can always make me feel like I am slipping in way too deep And let the shadows hope to hide or break the dreaming, dreaming of us

The vibe of this song is that there’s someone who always pulls you in because they know exactly what to say.  They found wonderland and got lost in it. 

Dear To Me- Electric Guest

When it’s bad Feels like I don’t know which way I should go But over time I come back and remember The one thing that I know

You’re dear to me and I know 

I know I’ve tied so many songs to ttds, but I guess it’s all the more reason to claim that one for swiftgron nation?  This verse reminds me of  “the road not taken looks real good now, and it always leads to you and my hometown.”

Got It Bad- Leisure

This song was added much later to the playlist on Taylor’s birthday in 2019. All other songs were added early feb of 2017.  With this song, I don’t get much except cowboy like me vibes.

Got our different ways with the same old payout Had our own dreams with the same old outcome Had a bad extreme and the same old break down Worked it to the bone with the same old habit

Et voila, that’s the end! I know this was super long so thanks for sticking through.  Again please note that these reaches were made because we are a little biased through a swiftgron lens.  It’s very possible that Dianna simply likes these songs and put it on a playlist, but let’s be real, gays practically communicate through spotify.  This is not fact and not proof for anyone to hound Dianna or invade in her or Taylor’s personal life, this is just for swiftgron fun.  That said, I’m personally inclined to believe that something did happen between Taylor and Dianna in 2017 possibly.  That’s all I have to say, thanks!

submission⬆️⬆️⬆️

ANON THIS WAS AMAZING YOU JUST MADE MY MORNING!!!

you should make a gaylor blog if you don’t have one already we NEED more of this content!

[rainbowcarousels]

You can blame @aimeelouart for asking about my keeping track of how each relationship between AGSZC progresses for the fact this meta now exists. It was somewhat hastily written in the back of my maths textbook so please excuse the lack of polish and put it down to the fact I couldn’t take another 2 hours of algebra.

Fives Company, not a Crowd

Relationships with Love

(or how AGSZC functions in the JBSWM universe*)

Cloud

Love is something that is given without expectation of return. This is applicable both platonically and romantically, he's willing to put everything on the line for the people he loves but he doesn't really expect them to do the same for him. Some of that comes from the fallout from his and Tifa's trip up the mountains and the subsequent responsibility placed on him for that but other parts stem from wanting to feel included but not being able to put himself out there so it's a lot easier to  be prickly and pretend you don't care when in reality, I think Cloud loves incredibly deeply and it's why he's easily hurt by it no matter how strong a front he puts up. At eighteen, he's still trying to find a balance between keeping everyone at bay so he doesn't get hurt and letting himself figure things out and take those risks. There's a fun parallel to Sephiroth there in that neither cut themselves any slack for mistakes so it's hard to get out there when you might make one when making a mistake – especially in his first real adult relationship –  feels like the end of the world. His only really obvious love up till that point is his mother and I do think he misses her a lot, but is also deathly afraid of letting her down and that weighs on their relationship.

The rest under the cut!

Zack

Loves to love (and he loves to dance, kudos to anyone who got that reference). The walking embodiment of a carebear, loves quickly, easily and casually. The more affection and love you throw at him, you'll get it back tenfold. The trick with Zack is that he lives his life with his heart so open that he has a natural connection with most people but it does make it more difficult to spot the differences between puppy love and intense, romantic love. This is one of the reasons he and Gen clash so much, Gen is 10000% passion and intensity and Zack always seems casual even when he's not. Ultimately, Zack is only 20 and still has a lot of trouble balancing his life between love, friendship and work. Since he's a social creature by nature compared with Cloud's more introverted nature, he's pretty decent at reading people and what they're feeling and absolutely wants to listen to them and hear about what they're feeling instead of having to guess. Compared with any of the other four really, he grew up with a strong sense of his social community and it helped instil a lot of compassion and resilience in his ability to love.

Sephiroth

Big yikes on this front. A walking talking advertisement for dysfunctional attachment and it would not surprise me in the least if he has some kind of attachment disorder as a leftover from a childhood which has probably left it's fair share of emotional scars. If I consult my Master timeline (and my attempts to make sense of Gast's timeline since he appears to have left Shinra on a fact finding mission around the time Sephiroth was born and left again for real this time two years before Aerith was born taking Ifalna with him), his first experiences of emotional connection are Hojo (yikes), Gast (who must come back sporadically from his fact finding between 1979 and 1983 so even before he dies when Sephiroth is four it's probably difficult to pinpoint as a positive attachment), Ifalna (here is where I get a little creative with canon but I do quite like the idea that if she did end up at Shinra before Gast left that he would have wanted to be like LOOK AN ANCIENT BABY and have her be like um no no that is not but also he was probably a toddler at the time and has no real strong recollection of her) and then SOLDIER. We know he served with adult SOLDIERs so I really doubt he connected in any strong way with them having had an extremely sheltered upbringing and oh yeah HE'S TWELVE. Man this one needs splitting up because it's Sephiroth.

So Enter Gen & Angeal when he's around 13, maybe closer to 14. What we know from Zack!Cloud and see from some of Zack's memories in CC, Sephiroth is not cruel but he is a hell a taskmaster and I think there's two big reasons why I put his connection with Angeal first. One, Angeal is a hard worker, he tries to do as much as he can and get himself out there and Sephiroth can respect that.Genesis on the other hand is talented, which...means he actually has to work hard at the things that don't come naturally to him for the first time and since he had the hero worship thing going on and Sephiroth was not social, they did not get along easily until they had a better understanding of each other. This is the same understanding that Gen gradually loses through degradation in canon, whereas Angeal and Sephiroth remain close-ish. Two, Angeal doesn't take anything personally and remains at a respectful distance, even when trying to connect. Sephiroth for his part was perplexed by his continual attention and has no idea what to make of it. It's only when Angeal is still doing it a few months down the line, when Gen has calmed down a little from his perceived slight, that they're able to forge stronger connections and I think there's a tandem effect with those two where Angeal is emotionally open and unobtrusive and Gen is not about to talk about anything emotional but he's physically affectionate. Most importantly of all, they aren't afraid of him, even the parts that a lot of other SOLDIERs may find disturbing, Angeal wants to just check in on and Genesis is mostly thinking 'meh, I could do that'. So ultimately, what would end up being his relationship with love is largely impacted by people who keep him at a distance or leave for a long time and then it's like a bus, you wait for one friend and two come along at once.

So then we have his concept of love being defined largely by friendship because his concept of it is so heavily defined by two people who were friends with each other and him first. The potential problem being that his world gets very wrapped up in only two people and as such, he's obsessive and possessive of them because it's all he has. Then Zack comes along and he's hyper affectionate, social, loving basically in a way he hasn't really had thrown at him and he doesn't fully know what to do with. To a degree, Cloud is easier – he's independent, prickly and does not get on with people which for him is relatable. Zack comes in like nothing he's ever experienced and the way he loves is so different that it's left him trying to figure out how he feels about this new kind of love coming into his life.

Angeal

Hands down a nurturer. It's all about putting his time and energy and heart into a relationship and letting whatever kind of love blooms happen naturally. While I don't think he forms connections easily, he tries to keep himself open and supportive of people around him and that lends itself to connecting with people. I do think he had a strong, loving role model in his parents (well, mother and stepfather, fuck you Hollander) and he had good relationships with them so he has some model by which to judge what love looks like. I also think canonly this is the thing he never really gets over losing, his mother and his connection to his parents.

I think Genesis has always been his great love story. They were, when they were a couple, one that would tell the story of how they met bit by bit until Angeal let Genesis take over telling it because he knows Gen never ever stops talking. I think it's one of the reasons they work well together – Angeal has the calm, quiet and cosy sort of love compared with Genesis who is passion and intensity 24/7. They balance each other out because Angeal does also try to push at his partners to behave, he will be passive aggressive or take small measures to try and correct things (a good example in 7s9s is that he will lock the liquor up knowing Genesis can break it but it's the fact he at least tried to get him to behave that helps him sleep at night) but ultimately, he is more passive as a person. When it was just the trio, Sephiroth added to some of the calm from Angeal but also more than matches Gen for obsessiveness. As things progress, Zack's casual nature adds to the calm but his excitement adds to the intensity and Cloud's introversion adds to the quiet but he's also a mouthy little shit.

One of the major things Angeal brings to the table is that his default setting is to care, same as Zack and that everyone at this table needs taking care of in some way. Cloud is obvious, he's struggling the most but he also feels that way with Zack because he can't completely separate the mentor-ship role even he tries to respect Zack as a First Class in his own right, Sephiroth has so few connections that being able to read him and react in a way as needed is extremely valuable and Genesis is just extremely responsive to the first instance of a seemingly unconditional love in his life and even if he would hate to admit it, loves that Angeal tries to take care of him. I think he's happiest when he can express how he feels to each person in turn in their own language and watch them respond.

Genesis

I think with Genesis there's a very large difference between his relationship with love and his relationship with romance. Romance is easy, he can be lyrical and affectionate and flirtatious at the drop of a hat but the emotion behind it being love is tricky at best. For some reason, I've always viewed him as someone who was a very clingy kid, who wanted parental attention constantly, was constantly seeking reassurance and often didn't get it. We know that Gen at that point was confined to Banora so I do think his parents would leave a decent amount when he was young and it's one of the reasons he latches on so hard when he meets Angeal. Angeal is not only present all the time but wants his attention and doesn't seem to mind that he chatters on and on. It's probably something to do with the idea if he keeps talking, he'll stay longer or trying to just fill silence because I think quiet disturbs him on some level because he's actually terrified of loneliness.

As he's gotten older and he turned out to be good at a few things, he got some of the loving responses he'd wanted but I also think as much as this reinforced the idea love is earned and you have to pay for it, a part of him from Angeal, from seeing his parents relationship with him covetously, knows that love can be unconditional but fears it's not so for him and probably spent a great deal of their early romantic relationship waiting for Angeal to realise and leave.

It's why his relationship with Sephiroth when they make the decision to expand the relationship to include him is initially categorised as casual, he can walk away any time and so can they, it's super casual, okay? Except I don't really think it was, it was just an out and then with Zack, he has no out. Zack is happening and it's love or bust. There's no out and then Zack does not seem that into making an effort and he is Not Happy about that. If you then contrast that to Cloud, who is incredibly responsive to his attentions but without demanding it. There's a lot of control on his end when it comes to his relationship with Cloud so it felt a lot less high stakes. Then Hojo happened and all of that went out the window because it was obvious how deep in he was at that point, he was willing to try and comfort Zack and keep him out of trouble, he was willing to care for Cloud in a way that isn't totally to his nature (if Angeal is the gardener, he's a very finicky plant – needs much attention and the right amount of everything to grow properly and will pretend to be dying if you miss a day) and show concern where he would usually rather jump off the plate headfirst than show emotions that vulnerable.

*This is your standard disclaimer that this only applies to how I see them in this verse, it's not applicable elsewhere but I might use examples from elsewhere to back up the point.

[voltageotome]

Voltage Inc. Developer Interview – Pt. 3

It’s here! Pt. 3 of our interview with the talented M-san!

What went into Irresistible Mistakes’ development? What stories did she find particularly challenging to make? How does she feel about Scorpio and Zyglavis taking the top two spots during the Fans’ Choice Awards?!

The answers are right here, fans!

Click Keep Reading for the interview!

Pt. 1 can be found HERE and Pt. 2 can be found HERE

Scorpio contemplates life as he watches the Tokyo sunset from the office window…

Scorpio is a definite fan-favorite overseas. His story is also unlike a lot of Voltage stories in that it deals with a really serious topic. What compelled you to make a story that deviated so heavily from the norm?

We didn’t start out wanting to make something heavy... It just happened. Haha! I feel like most of Voltage Inc.’s stories are pretty light-hearted and just fun to read. But I wanted to write something bigger than just a sweet romance, something with a little more weight to it. Love can be intense... It can transcend death, and that’s really the kind of story I wanted to make. So from there it just went... all dark. Haha.

With Scorpio, he didn’t just hate the heroine – he hated humanity itself. And this isn’t just “Oh, I don’t like you as a person” sort of hate. He harbors this deep animosity that stems from this horrible, sad past. For Scorpio, I wanted to make a story where I could ask the player, ‘How much love can you offer him until those past scars heal? Can they ever heal?’

I didn’t mean to make it all dark and depressing, honestly. All I wanted was to write a story that was about more than just sweetness and light. I wanted to get into the nitty-gritty of what ‘love’ truly means.

What inspired you to create Leon’s story?

...Well, Leo is one of the most domineering of all the star signs, and what I feel to be the most “god-like” out of all of them. I also thought it’d be super sexy to give him control over pleasure as well. Because who doesn’t love pleasure? ...And ta-da, it became a super sexy story. Haha! I also thought ‘Hm, okay, if this super pompous, nasty god were to snap his fingers, what would he do...? Oh, duh, he’d rip my clothes off!’ Hahaha! I’m a sucker for the sexy, sadistic, domineering types. ...I mean, the star sign Leo has such a fiery image, you know?

Are there any characters or stories from Star that you wish you could go back and redo, or tweak in any way?

Oh geez... I don’t have any complaints about their stories. Hm, okay, well if we’re being honest here... I came up with all of the 12 characters’ original stories and personalities, but I wasn’t the one who plotted each and every one; someone else did. If I could change one thing, I’d change that. I wanted to do all of them! I love all of these characters so, so much... I would’ve loved to have worked on Zyglavis. It was so fun coming up with his original concept. Of course, it wasn’t JUST me making all of these wonderful stories... There were a lot of people on the project, each with lots of ideas.

Out of all the characters you’ve made, which character’s story was the most difficult to develop?

Butler Until Midnight’s Yuma Akagi... I was in a bit of funk when I made him. Is that okay to say? I don’t know... But I was in a funk. I created BUM immediately after SCM, but SCM took so much of my time and SO much of my energy, my heart and my head were still very much with that app while I was creating Yuma. I was absolutely in love with Leon and Huedhaut and all of those characters, so it was rough going for a while, trying to make Yuma’s story... As the days went on, of course, I started feeling more confident about Yuma and his story.

It was hard going from something as magical and grand as gods to, you know, normal-old humans. In the end I felt like we made a really good character with Yuma, but it was tough getting to that point.

Which character do you relate to the most or feel most attached to?

Argh, gosh... Okita... Leon... Hm, Okita? Oh no, Leon. No. Wait. Takasugi? Tachibana... Uggghh... Leon, Okita, Takasugi...? Or maybe Huedhaut? Or Tachibana. Never mind. I can’t choose. Next question.

What kind of world would you prefer to live in: Star-Crossed Myth, Butler Until Midnight or Era of Samurai: Code of Love

This is tough. Oh god, I would HATE to live in EOS:COL’s world. Yikes.

I want to live in SCM’s world, no question. I mean, just a snap and I could get anything I wanted! I also think it’d be fun to take a walk among the clouds, see the world in a new way. Plus I’d still be able to live in Tokyo.

Overseas fans are obsessed with the king of the heavens! What's your take on him?

Oh, I just love him... Love him. He’s so beautiful, it’s literally terrifying. You never know whether he’s friend or foe... and it changes depending on the story you’re reading. He can change at any time and you never know what his real goal is. I love that you can’t pin him down – you never know what he’s really about. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to release a Main Story for him, but I’m worried it might undermine a lot of the other characters, Leon especially. We’ve already established that he’s the de facto leader of the twelve gods, and I’m just scared if we add the king to that mix it gives the whole app this weird power shift.

Irresistible Mistakes is about one-night stands. Why do you think users wanted a story about that?

One-night stands aren’t exactly... seen in the best light, I guess? There’s a stigma about it in society. But it’s the forbidden fruit effect, really... You probably shouldn’t do it, but it’s so tempting at the same time. It’s sexy in the sense that it’s taboo, you probably shouldn’t do it... but you’re going to do it anyway.

Is there a character that stood out to you?

Shunichiro Tachibana. Definitely Shunichiro. I mean, I love the heck out of Dr. Maki, but it’d have to be Shunichiro.

In the Fans’ Choice Awards, Scorpio came in first and Zyglavis second. What’s your take on that?

What the heck, Wishes? Where’s your hustle?! C’mon, man... Two Punishments gods duking it out for first? Oh well. I just love the relationship between Leon and Zyglavis – they’re rivals, always fighting. I love their arguments. So it would’ve been fun to see them at the top. Haha!

...Where is the power balance? Wishes and Punishments need an equal amount of power, they have to balance each other out, otherwise it’ll throw the Heavens into chaos! Please, fans! You have to vote for Leon! Haha.

And that’s the end of our second interview series! We hope you enjoyed it!

[pfzg]

v

20th Feb 2018

Today Sammy and I had a workshop with Claire and her participants at the Yorkshire Sculpture Park (The other three in the group had attended theirs the previous Saturday). Before we ventured out to the park we met Claire’s participants beforehand for a coffee to introduce ourselves and what are roles were. Even though we had discussed the role that ethics play in scenarios like this, it became clear to me why it was covered in such detail. While everyone was very cordial and friendly, there was a slight undercurrent of unease I felt to proceedings which I attributed to a lack of familiarity amongst the group especially considering the nature of the walk today. Obviously this would more than likely dissipate as the day went on, but both Sammy and I explaining our role as university researchers and maintaining a professional decorum I felt was important in the early stages of this endeavour. Filing out the ethics forms was also helpful in this regard as it showcased our seriousness towards the project and how highly we valued confidentiality.

The walk itself was largely uneventful. There wasn’t a lot of overt talk amongst the group about the sculptures or even what role they played in regards mindfulness. Some within the group were frequent visitors to the park so there wasn’t much in the way of exposition about the park or the sculptures themselves which was helpful for me as I wasn’t very familiar still with the layout or the nature of most of the sculptures. After our walk through the park, which was expedited near the end due to the cold, we convened in a room in the reception building that Claire had again booked for our use. The following is a few excerpts from the conversation we had where I engage with the participants and ask a few questions that I was interested to know after walking around with them.

The discussion starts about how some walks in reaction to wellbeing can be somewhat generic and leads onto the existence of a DIY school visitors pack for children pack. I then ask:

Me (Paul)

Do you think though that, considering we use our phones so often, that coming here would be a way of, or excuse to not even take on so much information? I kind of see it as a break away from using my phone or the outside world.

Person 1

It's a bit chicken and egg isn't it, because that is where I am but on the other hand some teenagers they wouldn't be at all interested, well I will just sit in the car and wait while you go and look at trees and sculptures.

Paul

So you think if you have something to keep them occupied? Okay, yeah.

Person 1

Because I remember my nieces as teenagers when they went on holiday, they went to the States, they went to the national parks, the giant cedars and all that, 'well it's just a tree, we'll just sit here and wait'.

The discussion continues about children at the park.

Person 2

Because using their hands, just using their bodies and stuff they are more likely to remember if they have got a big piece of chalk, or they are using their body in a certain way rather than on the phone because you could do that anywhere.

Paul

Even if you had some kind of clay something and there was like in relation to the Henry Moore stuff.

Person 2

Kids love, in school there is this putty stuff and I use fidget toys with the kids and stuff and play dough and things, but they are obsessed with this shiny, stretchy glittery sticky stuff, something like that which is physical.

Paul

They would look at it differently if they thought they could create something like it.

Person 2

Rather than looking at art and thinking oh someone else did that, I would never be able to do that.

We then move onto the map and get more specific about the sculptures we saw today. We start with the first place we visited, Seizure.

Person 3

It's like a hidden place, hidden gem.

Paul

It was like a cave wasn't it?

Person 1

Yes I wrote down that it was like being in a cave.

Paul

You know with the crystals in it, it made me, it was good to start off as a group that way because we were all in a confined space and sharing this together or something like that, I thought it was a good starting point.

Person 3

Yeah maybe that is something as well, when you start doing a walk it is good to have enclosed space to start with almost, because normally I will start off going to the Deer Shelter and going straight there, sitting down and having a moment, and that is the opposite of that because it is dark and enclosed but maybe it is the same thing, starting off.

Person 2

It is the same idea, of team building almost, that shared experience so you instantly start off on the same level or foundation with people, like you are not usually going to come to the Yorkshire Sculpture Park with people that you know but I guess if you are coming as part of a group or support group for wellbeing then I suppose you would do, and that would be really important to think about the structure of the route and stuff like that.

We talk about our experience near Barbara Hepworth’s Family of Man.

Paul

I liked the way there was like life imitating art, because when you were talking about those people I saw the grandparents with the kids you know and it was nice looking at a sculpture that is going from early man you know the patriarch at the top and then just opposite you have a kid with his grandparents, it was nice the way that there was a symmetry going on, you know real life and something next to it, and an open space like that allows that to happen, it allows you to see static things but it also allows you to see life as well and snippets of other people's lives aswell.

Person 2

Another thing I thought of was the Barbara Hepworth, my grandma loved her work and I was instantly thinking about my grandma and just the different generations of art and different generations of people visiting and there is something for everyone.

Person 4

I felt quite happy down there because they have got, its one of my favourite sculptures which all stems back to when I first came here, which was Square and Two Circles which disappeared for a while but they brought it back, which just looks brilliant again, so I was like oh yay, a bit nostalgic, but pleased that it was back, so revisiting sort of the familiar sculpture I guess, but in a different light, it's all about light I think.

We then talk about Peter Randall-Page’s Shapes in the Clouds iii

Person 2

It is almost like a physical form isn't it, like a body, it is just comforting as if you were a child or a baby and you were holding on to your mother or something, for me that is what I think of, human form.

Person 3

Yeah, which is interesting because it is nothing to do with that, and this is another one where I find the plaque to be different to my experience of it, because it is a molecule, or something like that or like a mathematical shape, or something, the form of it. Whereas I see it as being human, almost.

Paul

There was a moment where you were at the marble and you all had your hands on it, and I was stood back, and it was like a baptism, you were all like it was a communal effort or something with this marble.

Person 3

Extracting the energies from the stone, it is, its like you can't not touch it.

Paul

It's like one of those photos where you are looking down at the earth you know, the topography of the earth.

Person 3

I remember last time, you overheard I think, when the kids were, there was one kid that  was like 'it looks like its 3D' and the other one said ' it is 3D!'

The talk then moves to Magnificent Desolation one.

Person 3

I have the same experience, when it first arrived I was like 'what's this' and you know went straight to it, and then thought ooh, no I don't like it, I can't deal with this very well, I don't know what it is, to me it looked like melting people, I don't like it, and then made myself go back to it again and again, but that fascination has gone now, I've gone through it which is a shame because I kind of miss it now, I miss having that strong experience now that it is almost evened out to nothing, it is just kind of fine now.

Person 1

Like it has become powerless.

Paul

It was my first time seeing it properly, I think last time we kind of skipped past it, I really liked it. It is just because there was context to it, and I could understand it and I liked the marble for different reasons, but I kind of got more out of this because I could see a theme to it or something and I liked even though it was just different shapes and stuff but obviously it was people, I like the contrast with the marble, and again if there is a story behind something I do like that. So when you were talking about Chernobyl or listening to other people's reactions to it I liked that, it was less abstract.

Person 3

Yeah there was some content to it. There is some quite interesting cognitive science theory about how aesthetic experiences can be transformative, and it is basically it says that when you are confronted with something that is not in your schema, so it is something that doesn't fit in with your understanding of the world in an aesthetic environment you have a number of options of what you can do, you can escape, you can kind of rationalise why you don't understand it, so it's not art, it's bad art, it's not relevant all this stuff, these are all escape mechanisms to rationalise why that doesn't fit, but then if you can't do that for whatever reason, because you class yourself as an 'art person' so you have to be able to understand, or you are in a social situation where other people are understanding it, or for example in the mindfulness, that kind of group, when you are sat there and you have to keep looking at it, what happens then is that you have, that is then when you have the potential for a transformative experience, you then have to kind of evaluate yourself and why you don't understand why this isn't fitting in with you schema and then make a new one, and that is the transformative power of art, which I think is really interesting. But what we are saying here is that it is really easy to escape.

.....

Paul

Isn't it different if you go on your own, or if you go in a group you know, you make your own decisions if you go on you own, whereas with a group, it is whoever is the more dominant person might lead the group, and you might be able to retreat back into yourself.

Person 1

I mean that is the other difficult thing, talking about the journey thing, I was really, really enjoying it and then we got to down here, and I was getting cold and anxiety started to creep in, but everyone else is enjoying it I should be enjoying it, and then I started to worry about whatever I have been worrying about the past few days, and then I'm like oh god I need to get that back, the feeling that I've had at the beginning, but I can't get it back and then I kind of calmed down a bit when we went to the James Turrell thing and I'd been calmed down again but I think the combination of the cold, not enjoying the pieces of art and feeling like I wasn't like everyone else that set me off, so it is an interesting, I think you could do a lot of research into the group dynamics are different every single time with different people but in terms of wellbeing, what would be most beneficial and can you structure it so there is alone time, I just think it's like the weather or whatever, it was constantly changing from sunny to cloudy, and to be able to allow yourself to go with that and then come back up at the end because it not going be perfect the whole way is it.

Six Mourners and the One Alone

Person 1

That just got me straight away, I was like [gasping for breath] and it was almost because you were looking out on the lake and you've got the geese and everything, it's that kind of shock, because it so small writing but it has got such a big impact and then that kind of, I was having a laugh with you and then.

The Deer Shelter

Person 4

That sense of togetherness again, at the end, we started with that and we sort of ended with that.

Paul

Yeah it was like waking up from a sleep or something, if you could bottle that up.

Person 1

And it is so simple isn't it, but we don't do it. Why do I not just lie on the grass if it is a nice day and just look at the sky, because I was saying to [CB] that it reminded of being in a cable car and going up a mountain or something and it is that, you can hear the noise of the motorway or you can hear the motor in a cable car and you are seeing the sky and it is just so peaceful.

Person 3

And you can't do anything else.

The discussion veers off and we start talking about art and how it is viewed by certain demographics, some who might not be able to access places like the YSP.

Paul

But his father would say, reading about the Turner prize, or say Tracey Emin's bed or whatever and saying what a load of rubbish and he is hearing, because of his background, he is hearing that and thinking I'm not going to be drawing because that is what my father thinks of art, it's just there is a difference, we are open to experience things without context.

Person 3

But even my friend, I was up in Glasgow, and she is very successful, and she laughs at me for being 'arty', and I'm like I'm not 'arty' I did design first of all, but secondly, why am I arty? Because I'm not wearing heels and a dress or whatever? But she goes I just don't get art, that Tracey Emin, she always uses the Tracey Emin thing but I'm like but that is contemporary art, that is one aspect of art, but it is such a huge spectrum and people just are so quick judge it because they don't understand so it is allowing the opportunities for people to be embarrassed or afraid and to.

Person 5

Be non-judgemental.

Person 6

I had a similar experience, I was in the Picasso Museum in Spain with a friend and she said 'I'm sorry Person 6', she is whispering across to me looking at this Picasso, 'I don't get it, I don't get it, a five year old could do that', so I said well, come with me, and we went and stood in a completely different place and looked at it from an angle as opposed to looking at it straight on, and she said 'my god, it's completely different', just like that, and it just that letting people having their own experience I think rather than trying to frame it, this is what it is about, and turning it into some kind of academic exercise.

Our discussion ended with us believing that a form of inferiority complex can be bourn from those who view art suspiciously because they might feel that a lack of knowledge should equal a lack of opinion. Thinking about art in such circumstances could also extend to the idea of mindfulness. Even some of the classes that the YSP provide seem to be only accessible to those who have both the means to access the park and also the income to pay for it.

The discussion was very informative in noting how people warmed to discussing the sculptures once there was a talking point provided. While everyone has an opinion, it is easy to see that it isn't always given if there is no platform for it to be given. When it comes to mindfulness, being heard and feeling free to express an opinion, especially if one is keen to give it, is important for one’s sense of wellbeing. Talking to the participants in a comfortable setting where everyone is at ease with each other, is a vital ingredient to this process and using art, or in this case sculptures as a tool to do so can be very beneficial.