#i had done a screenshot a bit ago but i added more stuff

[grapecaseschoices]

Hello! Dropout anon back again! I was wondering if u had a pinterest board for Lloyd and Hayden? I would love to see their aesthetic. 👀👀

i doooooooooo. but i am very - as ive said - nitpicky because i like to organize it a certain away. BUT you lucked out! my indecisive ass flipped a coin and it said to share it.

it actually isn't BAD as is, so that's part of my motivation of sharing it.

the board is split into sections. so here are there aesthetic sections:

lloyd duarte.

Hayden Moise.

[terranoctis]

I played Hades II a fair bit yesterday during my breaks and free time for Supergiant Games' technical test of the game. Part of me wants to keep playing today, but I got stuff to do and I do want to keep up the excitement for the early access. I wrote a rough, kind of unedited essay about it before I went to sleep last night though below, mostly for me to have record of my memories in written form. Some spoiler-y screenshots and random thoughts/analyses below if you want to read more. I mean it--there are spoilers and the most random long tangents because I like to analyze. (I do recommend playing first if you have a chance to)

First thing I'll say is that the game is pretty phenomenal and so damn fun. The experience reminds me of when I played Hades for the first time in their initial Early Access of the game years ago. Longtime Supergiant Games fan here (since Transistor release)! I remember running into a bug then and reporting it when I froze in-game, but I have not run into any noticeable bugs at all yet for Hades II. I've done some reports for minor bugs, but extremely minor ones that I actually feel bad for even reporting and adding to their list of messages to go through. Supergiant has their QA down, truly. I have so much respect for them and how they've developed the game. Darren Korb did an amazing job on the music again. It has that iconic Hades sound with the strings (that is not a guitar, I forget what it's called) while also being its own distinct soundtrack.

The 4th wall banter moments between Melinoë and Homer (who is revealed as narrator!) have been one of my favorite things about the story/narration execution. Her being cognizant of Homer does make it so there are rather funny moments, but also brings up the question of how that might shape the narrative later on. I'm so curious!

When I first started the game, I had a funny moment where I died almost instantly in the second room because I was testing out Melinoe's skillset and ran out of MP (?) and then got slapped because I wasn't actually doing damage when trying to use her bigger skills, heh. It did take me some time to get used to it, but Mel's skills and cast abilities are so much fun to use when utilized well. Her cast and its ability to hold your enemies for a time is one of the best upgrades to combat, in my opinion. For all I love the first Hades, I remember having to dash like crazy to escape exploding carts coming after me if I didn't have a good boon to mitigate or avoid that. With the cast for Melinoë, it'll change that to placing strategically some casts that can hold quick enemies or enemies that are very dangerous if they get close to you (wailers in this game are one such enemy). In terms of boons, Demeter's, Hestia's, and Apollo's have been some of my favorites. Aphrodite also has a phenomenal one for casts that will gather your enemies into your cast, making it an ideal combination with some devastating other boons that can easily damage groups of enemies all at once. Hephaestus also has a pretty fun one where I think he can explode in a certain proximity with your special or attack, I forget. I do wonder if they'll have to rebalance some of these boons because there are certain ones I can annihilate enemies with--but then again, maybe that is needed for later sections of the game.

The numerous references to the moon in the game are a nice nod to Melinoë's lore in Greek mythology and poetry too. Though she's more associated with being a goddess of ghosts (I find it a nice touch you can salute shades you meet in the Crossroads because of this) and nightmares (I don't think it's a coincidence Hypnos is the only other survivor of Hades' inner sanctum), Melinoë has at some point been referenced as a moon goddess as well of the underworld. Selene is the moon goddess and Artemis has also become known as a goddess of the moon in mythology in addition to being the goddess of the hunt. So that connection between the three and the friendship they share in the game is pretty cool in that regard (Selene calls you the "Silver Sisters.")

Having Artemis become your friend in Hades II, something akin to a friendly rivalry like Thanatos was to Zagreus, is such a fun story--and then you have Selene added into that mix as well. From the few runs I've done, I've gathered that Artemis and Hermes are the first of the Olympus gods who knew of Melinoë's existence in her youth as Hecate's pupil. She helped Hecate hide the truth of Melinoës survival (at least from the Olympus gods)--and when Melinoë was ready, it was only then that Artemis leaked through Apollo that Hades' daughter was coming to fight Chronos and had survived the fall of Hades. So the boons you get are because the twins, Artemis and Apollo, played a role in connecting you to Olympus for the fight against Chronos. There seems to be more in this background that I'm curious to learn about. Just from their banter, it's clear Artemis has spent much time with Melinoë and Selene in some form. I don't know if they have duo boons in this game (or boon-hex? Selene gives you a hex), but I'm curious to see what these two's duo boon(s) would be if they have them.

The game also does that thing the first game did so well of shifting the world as you progress and have changes in the relationships about you. Nemesis is one of the new characters in Hades II who doesn't seem to like you very much initially, but with your dialogue with Odysseus nearby, you get the sense that it wasn't always this way. When you gift her a nectar, Melinoë subtly starts calling her "Nem," and you can tell the two of them are very slowly mending whatever it is they have (Odysseus chuckles nearby probably seeing the progress). You also meet Doom Incarnate (Moros) and have to unlock having him at the Crossroads by invoking him, which is also pretty fun in terms of letting you slowly do more runs and experience the world more in order to gather enough "resources" to call him. It allows a natural progression of characterization and getting to know the people around Melinoë, in my opinion.

Dora's also one of my favorite character already. There's something so funny about Melinoë encouraging Dora as she tries to scare and haunt her as a proper ghost, but then also rather touching that she just accepts that Dora just likes to hang out in her room and not go out much. I love Arachne too, and how she's just chillin' like, I'm bored and alone and just spinning webs, so here Melinoë, have some clothes I made.

This game makes me love it as much as I loved the first one. In some ways, in terms of how they executed establishing background and connections between Melinoë and her companions (Odysseus' calls her a "little goddess" as a child! Hecate plays hide-and-go-seek with her!), I think they've started out much stronger than they did in the first game. And this one already starts with a sort of high-stakes situation from the get-go. Melinoë's entire family has been taken by Chronos and she grew up apart from them. The game does well of letting you step into the world even if you haven't played the first one--and playing on your affection for Hades, Persephone, and Zagreus if you did. After all, considering how hard you worked as Zagreus to bring back together that family in the first game, the second game logically comes back with a vengeance with Melinoë at the loss of such a family and a need for vengeance against Chronos for ruining it. The world feels familiar, yet the cast of characters are so different.

And the designs of all the new gods! And the new designs for the old gods! They're all extremely well-done. I've been a longtime fan of the artists for the characters and the environments. They've done stellar jobs on it again for this one, and there's more touches to icons and designs of the UI I like too. The dialogue log is one of my favorite things too, as someone who might miss a piece of dialogue here and there when I take off my headphones. The voice acting in this game is also a whole notch up from the previous game. Not to knock anyone from the first Hades, since I think they did a great job, but I do feel like the voices have been more professionally recorded this time around. Or something about it is a little more polished. Kudos to Supergiant for another game that's an A+ in my book thus far. Ahh!

I could keep going, but honestly, I think it's best to have people experience the game in Early Access. I mostly just wanted a record for myself to look back on for being a small part of Hades II's journey and share some of my excitement and the random analyses I had. It'll be fun for me to look back on how I read some things and how I felt when the finished version of the game comes out eventually.

[ultraviolet-cello]

Day 8 of the tristamp analysis marathon and jesus christ i am!!! really excited to do these now because people have been adding onto/being nice abt my stuff and that's super cool. Thank you again to @tristampparty for running this! I didn't manage to join in on the book club last year so it's nice to have a fun little event all the same

[But as for next book club,,,, well. I'm extremely transgender about trimax and would love to join in]

As always, spoilers for trigun stampede and trigun maximum! Also some CWs for Vash-typical passive suicidal tendencies and discussion of his psyche

So! Episode 8! I have.... mixed feelings, on how Tristamp portrays Knives. On one hand, I definitely think that we're being lead to believe that Vash has always been a peace-loving kid and that Knives has always had those tendencies, which would set up for season 2 to break that down. I hope.

The one thing I couldn't figure out, ofc, is the Knives not needing to eat thing - My friend millions-dykes theorized a black hole/white star dynamic a little while ago [as seen in the screenshot. I'm Organ, they are Nagito Malmonella]

aaaaaaaaanyway, we still get these little instances of knives just being a kid, and it's the funniest thing in the world to me. Vash is also apparently in tune with him enough to pick up on that and it's such twin behaviour.

There's also just a lot of cases of Knives smiling or being giggly around Rem, which,,,, he's such a mama's boy like we know this but it's so nice to have it reinforced. This theory of Knives having always been cold/standoffish just doesn't track - the only time he usually seems uncomfortable is when Rem touches him or when he talks about Plant stuff - particularly when he's talking about being different to Vash. Knives, to me at least, is a tad autism-coded :]

OKAY TO THE SCENE[TM]

So obviously this has changed from when we first saw Vash tell the story. Vash's sequence of events runs as follows:

Vash walks up to the little hill that Knives is laughing maniacally on top of -> Knives says "I finally did it! It worked! -> Vash confronts him with "How could you do that?" -> Knives reassures him with "Don't worry, I left the Plant ship" -> Knives says "I even got Rem killed!" -> Knives points out that Vash is his accomplice, but does not elaborate why. "Don't get mad. You're already my accomplice, isn't that right Vash?"

Now the sequence of events in this version is provably more accurate (the same audio is used in the black box recording discovered later), and goes as follows:

Vash wakes up from the escape pod and goes "Nai, where are you?" -> He spends some time following Knives' footsteps where he sees the crashed pods and fire and Knives laughing on the hill -> Knives says "I finally did it! It worked!" -> Vash says "I can't believe you killed Rem!" -> Knives says "Don't get mad. You're already my accomplice, it was you who told me the passcode - Am I right, Vash?"

So there are several inconsistencies in these two versions of events, most notably for me is that Vash is the one to bring up Rem. If the 1st telling was correct, it would imply that Knives wanted to kill Rem, but that part is conspicuously absent, because Vash is the one that brings her up.

Vash's retelling also omits the fact that he was the one to give Knives the passcode, shifting more blame onto Knives. It's very very interesting to me. Finally, Knives mostly has his back to Vash when he dissolves into laughter again. Which is a technique often used to hide if you've been crying or are having a hard time keeping some emotional responses down.

And I'm not even done with this flashback! The scene where Vash just lies down and wants to give up is,,, Well, in Trimax, ever since Tesla, Vash has struggled with suicidal ideation - he's the one that asks for Rem to just kill him, and that's heartbreaking, but we also see a bit of that leaking through here again, where he just wants to lie down and give up. It also gives me hope we're gonna see that Tesla aftermath scene in the next season, because that'll be breaking Vash down into his more complicated, messy parts.

Okay so I do think that the subtitles Aniwave uses are... a little bit Wack, I'm pretty sure that they're unofficial and probably a bit wonky, and I'm only slightly conversational in Japanese so I have 0 idea about this, but hey I think someone should inform Wolfwood, for no particular reas- [I am dragged away by security]

[I did check the dub, which referred to Plants giving birth which I think is much more likely to be accurate. But it'd still be funny for Wolfwood to have to sit through Plant sex ed so neither of them get pregnant]

Rem really was very, very young,,,,,

There are four photos here, but only one is given to Vash. I wonder why,,,, Possibly to gauge his recognition of Knives being in the photo, or keeping the other three to learn what they can about Knives.

The night/day progression cycle here doesn't really match up with Vash's little tally, so I don't think it's counting days. Given that he apparently went to say hello to everyone in cold sleep while on the ship, I think it's a little more likely that the tally marks are for them....

Do we ever actually get to hear Rem say the blank ticket thing in a flashback? I don't recall it, but it is said to Vash after the whole Stabbing Incident in Trimax, so that's possibly why they've kept it from us.

Theeee markings under this Plant's eyes match Elendira's, which. Obviously Elendira in tristamp is part plant there's just so many little details that lend themselves to it,,,

The HAIR COLOUR CHANGE AAAA

I like the little wall of Vash baby pics in the background here, but he still didn't get any of his 3 other ship pics back :(

Finally, Vash's line of "an Independent will make up for what an Independent has done" is interesting because his guilt complex really does spiral, huh. The reason Knives telling him "Oh, you just feel guilty for the Big Fall, huh?" in a later ep fucks him up so much is because like. That is kinda true to an extent. Vash is his own kind of self-deluding, but that only really starts spiraling at about this point in time.

Alright, setting up for a Day of analysis tomorrow, because I have many thoughts and feelings surrounding Knives (I love him very dearly and I hate him a lot (affectionate)) and we Will spend some time talking about Trimax Flavour Knives because my understanding of him is fundamental to my understanding of Tristamp Flavour Knives.

Thank y'all for the fun comments and theory addons!!! I'm having a lot of fun and we're really getting into how [normal] I am about Trigun!

[docilepillow]

2024 February Media Post Thingy : Featuring Movies Also

I've never really liked doing editing " do-overs". i think if this was like a normal year with no leaping ( As of starting this post a couple of minutes ago ( 4:51 PM ) , i only just learned that this year was a leap year? Just goes to show how little i pay attention..! But yea, on topic, on topic, i don't look back to edit these kind of thought pieces after i write them, it'd feel odd to do so, ,and january's post was a mile and a half to write , so, after finishing the Big Thing for this year, i'm starting the writing on this on the 28th so i dont have to finish it all in one sitting this time. I'm not sure when i'll drop or pick up on it, and its not like, done Live with the month, so the actual timeline of things won't be completely perfectly accurate, but anyways : the things covered here are in rough sequencial order, mostly focused around New Media i've tried this month, with an added blurb about anything ive revisited this year at the very end. I'll try to add a blurb about everything, but no guarentees. Also, i said i'd have more screenshots to share, but i forgot again. A significant number of games here were also on 3ds which i have no good way to get screenshots for. planning is hard This month was heavily characterized by the absolutely wonderful time i had for my birthday and the days surrounding it, because wow, am i in love with my boyfriend! after many, many months spent long distance, i'm extremely glad to say that the first few days of this month were absolutely heavenly, and i do absolutely "get" all the lovey dovey emotional stuff that surrounds it. While he was over, we got to watch a whole bunch of different movies and such, and most of the video game focus was directed towards one big game, being God Of War Ragnarok, which is an absolute behemoth of a triple a game and also one aattached to the very sentimental god of war that i've also shared with him in the past ( they're some of his favorite games of all time, and he's especially knowledge on Norse stuff, so it's cute to listen to him ramble about it whenever actual mythology stuff comes up. Its absolutely adorable the way his voice lights up..! ) So, you'd expect the first piece of media i got through this month would be God of War Ragnarok, after all the time i've spent hyping it up already, while it's still fresh in my mind as of typing, And i'm on a massive, sentimental tangent on it, But...! TRUMP VS ILLUMINATI < Least Romantic Movie I've Personally Made Out With Someone Over >

theres not all that much to say on this movie as the title'd show, actually, and, obviously, the movie's a complete joke, through and through ( the titular protagonist isn't even the real deal, he's just a clone of the guy who lives on mars for whatever reason as the last human alive (?) ); and it's so ameturishly put together that i'm almost certain the entire scripting process of it was put together by looking at the title of the movie and quipping in a discord call brainstorming for a couple of hours, but it's absolutely great for virgining couples beccause you'll want to watch the movie for a bit, a bit that's been going on for i want to say little over three quarters of a year, but then, when you actually get to watching, it, you'lll both decide unilaterally to make out sloppy style instead of watching the movie, wow!

by the way, most of the movie is just weird little stock models talking at each other for what i rememeber being 50 or so minutes. i dont tihnk this is a good movie buut i thought itd be funny to bring up because in a shirtless daze after watching it i had the mortifying realization that this shitty movie was gonna be on the top of my media diary if i chose to go through with it . so here it is ! ! ! CATS & DOGS < tulpa movie >

idk what to blurb about this movie i think its entertainment value comes from the varied" WHAT DOES THIS IMPLYYY " moments in the movie and how like

excessively silly it is im not sure if it was this movie in particular but i have a very specific anecdote of this movie as a child before my parents divorce where i was actually Forced to watch it for some reason with my dad and with an anecdote like that the only thing i can think to say about it is that i think i actually enjoyed it more then Wonka theres some puppetry with the cat villain in this movie thats actually pretty endearing actually. its a decently entertaining spy movie. DOCTOR STRANGE

not having a title for this one isnt like reverence or anything i still watched this with my boyfriend in our little place and it was very enjoyable, and, in particualr, this was actually the first movie i watched of this list that i actually wanted to seek out to watch, actually! i've never been an mcu guy ( And, if you expect my movie reviews to professionalize, with like, research on the actors anything, you're dead wrong, i think , also. i think when it comes to assosiating characters with their actors or whatever celebrity or director or whatever, i just. .dont do that. i can see why normal people do but i dont have that built into me. so if i refer to a character it'll be for their character. ) i think this is a good movie i think this is a neat movie i think this a very pretty movie and i like mister stranges arch alot and i think it was really well characterized and enjoyable and id watch this movie again sometime maybe. im not a live action head but i think this movie just looks cool and is well presented in general. i think as an asshole mister strange is very watchable which is unusal for me cus i wince whenever characters do a thing thats like regrettable like noooo dont do that like an autistic weirdo but that wasnt really a problem with me for this movie i think its cool how this prick gets grounded by the fantastical shit in the movie and i think his little mini arch over the movie really stands out as a good character piece. thats all i have to say about it as someone who doesnt super hero movie this movie movies really good and stands on its own. i think its cool. i think this is a very enjoyable movie. i think people should watch it if theyre on the fence on it beingg mcu bc i dont think its like thoose other movies at all. im repeating myself. w/e Alot of early febuaary is characterized by movies bc i want to make it clear that the main game i played in that arch of time was God of War, and there were very much Not Media things that were more pressing for my time. lol VIDEO GAMES!!!! VIDEOVERSE < Most Heartwarming Eboy Game >

the docism i picked for this game sounds demeaning but thhis game is absolutely worth i think everyones time and if theres a game from febuary i'd make as a general reccomendation to my friends, it'd be this one, i think! it's an absolutely heartwarming narrative about an early 2000s era internet community that's being shut down, and its very resonant to at least Me, as a wii u / 3ds era fan

though it kinda melds that kinda stuff with a more early internet aestetic , which i think the combo works Really Well in terms of like vibe alone. the game is very naked with how it presents an early internet community and id describe it as being like hypnospace outlaw but without you the player being in the seat of like an internet moderator. Like you can moderate in the game a little bit but it's much less of a focus compared to the being in a game community with your friend aspect

this games a very well executed narrative about this emmet guy ( in the image above this one, he's on the far left of the screen ) and playing it as the first non GOW game of the week was definitely a choice i made that made me kinda sappy and clingy ( since its very much about the internet anxiety of losing a bunch of friends you care about due to dumb internet social media crap, which feels pretty well timed with this whole tumblr drama going on. also, as someone in a long distance relationship, the romance thing in this game also is pretty relatable in parts )

idk! its a very short game. i played it on deck and it was a very short but sweet pair of game sessions. i think if u like what you see here i reccomend giving it a shot if you're looking for a visual novel . ithink it is cute. if you like cute things this game is for Cute PRINCESS REMEDY IN A WORLD OF HURT < cute em' up where nobody has to die ! >

i actually falsely appraised this as gameboy color style when its supposed to be dos evokative. i knew i was missing something.

this is a free top down shmup game from steam about a cute healer girl! the game has really cute writing and is about an hour long. i think the writing makes it worth giving a try if you have an afternoon! the final boss is litearlly a guy with Every Disease that also has a refrence to ff6, so me being charmed by this game was kind of a given. Oops! I think more people should look at this game! it's worth it !

also, since everyone in the world of hurt has some kind of injury for you to remedy, some of the ones that get picked out are pretty amusing, also. its usually structured around " heres the problem with me " dialogue and " thank goodness im better " dialogue. this game is also for the gays because u can marry whoever you want after the credits. Yay! SUPER MONKEY BALL 3D < worst game icon ive ever seen for a video game award >

the games just kind of mediocre and the only reason i downloaded it is bc it was on 3ds and i just want to point out the games icon is Just a low resolution picture of ai ais face on a white bg. i think thats funny but the games so easy that thats pretty much the only novelty you'll extract of it if youre a monkey ball fan. oops .

something like this ive spent longer trying to find this games home menu icon then thinking about the game after playing it sorry i dodnt think this game is worth that just kind of sad

MEGAMAN XTREME

no reverence for this either pretty much all the games thatre gonna be talked about thatre on 3ds were just me looking through hshop slightly interested in something to do while waiting for my bf to wake up for more gow

all i can really say is that this game is a gameboy demake of the x games thats just slightly worse and going in with that expectation is correct but also its just Really annoying sometimes is very much a game where the levels are short and easy and the boss fights are kind of choppily designed and difficult and i think finishing this game was kind of more of an act of stubbornness then anything. theres this one boss second to last from sigma thats just killing this boss that spams 4 nearly undodgable spammy fast projectiles while you're on two tiny platforms over death spikes and i think that kind of speaks for how much id reccomend this ( not at all ) i think this is the angriest ive been at a game in a bit actually remembering it . i think i said a funny misnomer about it but i dont remember. something about this contributing to why mega man fucking died or something. im realizing i didnt actually consume alot of good media this month took a break writing this on leap day and umm FIRE EMBLEM WARRIORS ( The 3ds version ) < POPCORN VIDEO GAME >

as someone whose never played a dynasty warriors type game this was actually a little less boring then i was expecting it ? you'd assume picking the switch or wii u version would be more ideal, but, as someone whose favorite console is the 3ds , and considering it'd take less time to download to my system, i ended up picking this version. it actually runs pretty well and my only real complaint is that the character i wanted to play as is thuroughly stuck into the post game ( Celica from FE echoes ).

functionally this is kind of just a game that exists to be a stim device while you're in like a voice call or something but at that its pretty good from what ive played. used minerva for most of it and it wasnt too hard but not especially annoying either. its okay. i never got to unlock celica though ( bummed out ) and its not bad at all for somemthing i pretty much only played to pass the time between when my BF was awake to watch me play god of war, which it succeeded at. ive played every FE naturally available on the 3ds. TOM AND JERRY WILL WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

huh what happened howd this happen

guh MARIO MAKER 3DS

game i actually owned legitimately that i forgot i did. technically since the games are going down in a month from now this is my way on reminicing on Maker in general , but i mostly just reflected back on itt as a cute wii u memory and that cute packet that comes boxed with the game. the 100 or so challenge levels in this are neat but not Especially special. kind of existed to pad out the games i've tried and finished this year so far to an even 15. its not bad or anything, it did remind me of a few interactions i didnt know about before. maybe sometime before maker 2 goes down ill finish making that super world i started on when the game was new... putting all my thoughts togetherrrrr GOD OF WAR RAGNAROK

Igod of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) god of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) ( I have screenshots of the game on my ps4, but as i'm a day late to uploading this in the first place, i'm too lazy to both fetch them with my capture card and upload them to an image sharing site, so here's a picture of Jalla, a cute cow critter you get to ride in the game thaat made me very happy . )

I've heard of games that take up entire segments of people's lives for months , and while i've played lots of " longer " games, gow despite being shorter then something like SMT 4 is definitely one of the first games i've played thats been defined like that to me. i dont wanna say too much on the plot because i think these games are worth playing back to back on their own merits, though for me the experience definitely was raised above by , you know, sharing it with the love of my life, haha. its very cute to listen to someone visibly light up when talking about a game and its definitely my boyfriends infectiousness for the game that motivated me to keep coming back to it and dig for all the little details, even if i play 3d games like this like a game's journalist.... but yea god of war is really good i dont want to spoil anything on it but even if you haavent played the past games but have a ps4 and an appreciation for storytelling, i'd definitely reccomend it. Surprisingly cozy, heartfelt story on parenting and war and lingering regret n junk. also i like mimir alot hes silly and brok theres alot of characters in this i like alot

if you know you know TERMINATOR 2

oh yea i watched terminator 2 also very gripping very cool top moms in media for sure i can see why this is a classic movie it abosluely rocks and i was technically present for the voice call where they watched the first movie but i wasnt paying attention to it at all whoops thats technically the last of the new media i did but i also tried out a pokemon X nuzlocke and i replayed king of cards which was really fun and i remembered how much i liked madam meeber

the nuzlocke was a disaster but i actually did do it so winner

im sure there was other stuff too but im tired of typing and i forgot CLICKING SEND!!!!!

[barbaracleboy]

Fun Fact! Did you know that Etrian Odyssey got a mobile game? It's fair if you don't, not only was said game Japan-only, but it was discontinued a while ago. It seems to be obscure enough to essentially be lost media, with very little of it remaining beyond a few screenshots and some music. Thankfully, one of the few remaining things relating to it can be found here (http://dihyhi.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-47.html). This page is all in Japanese, though, so speaking just for myself I had to use Google Translate to get rough ideas of what it says, and obviously that's not ideal. Thankfully, though, it's also got images, revealing the fun designs for (some of) the Characters within!

(Designs and me talking about them under the Keep Reading)

Here we have what appears to be the Innkeeper, a lovable-looking lady! Honestly I feel kinda bad for not having her in my "Characters with closed eyes" meme. If I knew about her she'd totally be part of that.

Apparently this woman runs a medicine shop. And her name might be Muse??? Again, take some of what I'm saying with a grain of salt, the translation tools I used aren't top notch. That said, it claims she has a "cold atmosphere", and I can believe it. She looks like a serious person.

I love this Dwarf-like dude. Apparently his name is Potasu and he's a blacksmith, selling weapons, armor, and stuff like that. Having weapons/armor and medicine sold in different shops sounds annoying, must have been done for Mobile Game Monetization Reasons™ (EDIT: So, apparently this is not a Mobile Game Monetization thing; EO1 just had medicine and equipment in different shops, and this game came out shortly after that one. Thanks to @/pbone64 for letting me know!...Also, sorry for updating this so late.)

Here we have a big guy that apparently acts as the resident Quest Giver, and he's neat. Kinda reminds me of Cass from EO2. According to what Google Translate says the page says, Quests were added often back when the game was still active, which sounds kinda interesting. Sort of makes me wish I was able to play it back then.

This lass's name is apparently Asuka, and she seems to be the Guildkeeper! A bit different from most of the Guildkeeper designs, ha...she's cute.

According to Google Translate, this person's name is "Freen"? You can apparently go to "Freen" to get and report Missions as well as update your Monster and Item Encyclopedias, making "Freen" analogous to other major leader-type Characters likethe Outland Count from EO4.

It's a shame that the Etrian Odyssey Mobile Game was lost, if only because we no longer have a decent way to see all these nice designs. Apparently the music's good too and I don't doubt that but I haven't heard it myself. Here's a playlist of some songs, you guys can judge based on it (https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuw2FaP0vGRLvpAbki0s_Z0S8WGsI0Cqx)

If there's anyone with more info on this game or better quality images of the designs from it I'd love to see or hear them. Otherwise, thanks if you read this, and whether or not you did I hope you have a good day!

[wolfram-everhearth]

BG3 Act 1 - The First Day

Figured I'd put some of my playthrough notes / headcannons / GaleFram / basically sitcom scripts out here for anyone interested. I also added several screenshots because the game is pretty.

See this post for the Pre-BG3 Tav backstory. (Minus 10 years in the Feywilds & 5 in Baldur's Gate which Wolfram tells the companions about as the game progresses. Please look forward to it! 😂)

Here's the Carrd (Better Organized)

This includes story stuff so don't read if you haven't played the game yet!

The Nautiloid

After ten years of serving his patron in the Feywild, Wolfram returned to the mortal realm. He gave up his powers after an argument with the archfey for deceiving him. He's been living in Baldur's Gate for the past five years. One day he wakes up aboard the Mindflayer ship with no recollection of how he got there.

Wolfram is trapped in the pod and calls out to his former patron in desperation. He apologizes for how he spoke to her at the end and says that her deception was his own fault for not being clever enough to ask more specific questions when creating the pact. He says he realized she was just trying to protect him a while ago but had let his pride get in the way of making amends.

The archfey tells him she'd never severed their connection because she knew he'd calm down eventually - she merely cut off the flow of power. She's glad he's come to his senses in time. Of course, she will help him escape but would like his aid with something as well.

Fey are being captured, tortured, and killed. Somewhere nearby. She wants him to find the cause and stop it. His patron will honor the initial pact and in exchange for her power, he will defend nature and fey kind from any threats. The 10-year term had been met so now he has more autonomy but she may have the occasional specific request. The worm has done something to him and it will take a bit of time for her to bestow all of his old powers to him. He accepts and thanks her. As the power surges into him she says she'll check on him when she can.

He blasts himself out of the pod, unable to stifle a giggle as he realizes how much he has missed his warlock abilities. He finds a longsword on the floor - which he uses to pry open the few remaining pods. Unfortunately, he doesn't find any survivors.

Wolfram goes into the next room and explores a bit, hoping to get his bearings on the alien ship. He curiously pokes at the creepy talking brain and then cringes, stabbing it repeatedly. 😂

He meets Lae'zel and thinks she’s abrasive, but chalks it up to being from a very closed culture. He lets the rudeness slide, happy to have help in the escape from someone who seems to understand these ships.

He insists on rescuing Shadowheart despite the Gith’s protests. He easily opens the pod with magic. She’s grateful and he introduces himself, saying he was happy to help, while giving Lae’zel a pointed look. Shadowheart gets something out of the pod but he puts off his curiosity about the artifact for later.

They continue on to the helm and escape the ship. He wakes up on the beach the next day and quickly finds Shadowheart. They decide to search the area for a healer.

Introductions and Meet-cute

He and Shadowheart sneak up on the intellect devourers and push them into the fire of the wreckage. Wolfram cheers as the brains shrivel up in the flames and Shadowheart quirks a brow at this oddly cheerful man - fighting an amused smile.

They come across a very pale elf shouting for help. Wolfram offers to aid Astarion. He sees the boar but is too slow and the rogue gets a blade on him. The warlock calmly motions to Shadowheart to not attack and talks Astarion down, saying he won't hold it against him. They're all a bit anxious after the ordeal. Wolfram notices the teeth marks and red eyes but he has read books on vampires and even met a few so he second-guesses his instinct since Astarion is in the sun.

They come across some swirling energy against a rock. Wolfram hears someone shouting for help from inside. He focuses on stabilizing the arcane energy and then pulls a man out of the portal, falling backward onto the ground. Gale falls on top of him. They look each other in the eyes. The warlock smiles “Hello there, handsome.” The wizard is a bit flustered “My apologies!” Wolfram points at Astarion and smirks “It’s alright. The last guy pulled a knife on me.” Gale looks around to see the others. Shadowheart standing with arms crossed and brow furrowed, holding in a chuckle. Astarion gestures to the mages on the ground “Well darling, if I’d known *this* was an option…” Wolfram laughs. Gale gets to his feet, muttering while dusting himself off “That was certainly not the softest of landings…” The warlock chuckles “I beg your pardon. Alas, all of my cushioning is gone after years of pulling random wizards from boulders.”

Gale laughs then extends a hand “Hello, I’m Gale of Waterdeep. Apologies, I’m usually better at this.” Wolfram snorts and shakes his hand “Better at introductions? I should hope so.” Gale chuckles “At magic…do I know you?” Wolf shrugs “I’m Wolfram of Sen - uh - of Baldur’s Gate? I’m quite certain we haven’t met before. I’d remember you.” Gale ponders “OH! I know! You were on the nautiloid as well!” The warlock eyes the stone “Nevermind the Nautiloid - how’d you end up in that blasted thing?” Gale starts explaining animatedly as if trying to entertain them. The rest of the party’s eyes glaze over but Wolfram just listens with an amused smile. “I don’t know what transpired exactly, but the ship broke into pieces and I suddenly found myself in freefall. As I was plummeting to certain death, I spied a glimmer quite near where I estimated my body to impact with less-than-savory propulsion. Recognizing this glimmer to be magical in nature, I reached out to it with a Weaving of words and found myself on the other side as it were.” Wolfram smirks “Ah, so in other words - a spell gone wrong. I’m glad we found you when we did.” He gestures to Shadowheart “Shadowheart and I escaped the Nautilid together and woke up on the beach. Not sure how we survived to be honest. There was another with us but we lost her after the crash.” He gestures to Astarion “And he -” Astarion scoffs “Oh you can leave me out of the introductions.” Wolfram smiles sweetly and points down the road. “Well then make yourself useful and go see if those goblins have anything good.” Astarion rolls his eyes but begins looting the corpses as the others walk slowly in the other direction.

He and Gale talk about the tadpoles and what may be done about them. When asking about a cleric ("uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?") Wolfram smugly states “Well, I am quite good with a needle, but otherwise I’m more adept at hurting than healing.” He points to Shadowheart “This lass is our best bet. She's a very talented cleric.” Shadowheart unamused “Lass? I’d warrant I have a few years on you full humans… and this is beyond most healers' expertise.” Wolfram winces “Just my way of speaking from living in - Aye, I’ll try to correct it.” He nods respectfully.

Gale smiles hopefully “So Wolfram, as you seem to be the leader of this party - How about we lend each other a helping hand once more and look for a healer together?” The warlock nods “Oh… I suppose I am? We’d be happy to have you join us.” Shadowheart shrugs “The more the merrier to deal with these little monsters in our heads.” Astarion groans audibly while catching up to them with a pack of new weapons. Gale smiles “Most excellent! A parasite shared is a parasite halved… Or something to that effect.” Wolfram snorts “That’s one way to look at it.” Gale stops walking and faces him “Oh! But before you think you’re about to embark on a journey with most ill-mannered a man: thank you for pulling me out of that stone. It was an act of foresighted kindness I assure you, for I have the feeling ample opportunities will present themselves for me to return the favor.” Wolfram winks “Oh I certainly hope so.” Gale confused. "I assure you I am most practiced in the arcane arts and pledge to make myself useful in combat." The warlock gives an awkward thumbs up and giggles then starts walking along the path. He mutters to himself to get it together, damned fey magics.

They continue on. Shadowheart listens quietly as Wolfram and Gale talk. Astarion follows at a distance, sticking to the shadows. Gale asks “You’re not versed in magic, are you?” The warlock looks uneasy “...Why do you ask?” Gale eyes the large sword on his back “Oh, I *do* apologize. I meant to ask: are you *studied* in magic? Which you are not." Wolfram smirks and nods “Indeed, I am not studied.” Gale continues "If you meet any elder wizards, let me know. There is a matter I’d like to seek advice on from a master.” Wolfram eyes him wearily “Well… I’m not close with any wizards exactly - but I am friends with a few powerful magic users. Those that live in this realm are in Baldur’s Gate though… which I have a feeling is quite the journey from here. Wherever here is.” Gale is confused but intrigued “In *this realm*?” The warlock smiles awkwardly and starts ranting about how pretty the trees are.

They find Lae’zel in a cage with two Tieflings arguing over what to do with her. Wolfram convinces the Tieflings he'll take care of Lae'zel and they should get to safety. After they leave he teasingly tells her to ask nicely to get her down. She responds with violence and he rolls his eyes and shoots her down. Shadowheart is upset and says they can't trust her. Gale says he's not met any Gith and would be happy to learn more about them. Astarion says this is all very dull but at the very least he must mention that she shouldn't be seen around these parts for a while because the next time she won't be so lucky. Lae’zel says she could defeat any of these ‘teeth-lings’ in combat. Wolfram says it's a shame she wants to explore with them because she's clearly the only one experienced enough to find an easily defensible campsite in case the Tieflings return. The others are impressed he was able to convince her to go find a patch of dirt to guard.

They take a short break. Wolfram goes off into the forest for a bit then returns, saying there is a place up ahead worth checking out.

The Ruins

They continue on to some ruins. Wolfram convinces the bandits at the entrance to leave. Gale Is impressed again "You certainly have a way with words." The warlock winks "I have been told I've got a good tongue." Gale scoffs “I believe the term is ‘silver tongue’” Wolfram shrugs “Yeah, that too.” Astarion amused, mutters "Someone thinks highly of themselves." Shadowheart chuckles "Wolfram, your charms will serve us well, but please let us focus on the task at hand." Wolf nods to Shadowheart. "Aye, sorry. I’m a bit out of sorts still. Anyroad, words won't be enough once we're in here. My friend just said there are about 10 more of them in the ruins. We'll likely need to fight. Shadowheart frowns in confusion "Your friend?" Wolfram beams "Felicia. I sense that she's very trustworthy." He points to the boar who has been following them from a distance since the cliffs "Alright my dear, thank you for showing me. As you make your way back to your family please do stay clear of that wreckage." Gale eyes him with an amused grin. Felicia grunts and runs off before Astarion can shoot her. Wolfram glares “Oy! Don’t kill her! She just helped us.” Astarion pouts. Shadowheart asks "Oh? Are they a druid?" The warlock chuckles. "No, just a normal boar. I make a habit of talking to everyone I come across. You never know who has good information. Now - let's see if I can talk our way in here.”

After Wolfram works his charms, the bandit guard opens the door to the unexpected guests. Gale manages to put the guard to sleep as he starts to shout for his friends. Wolfram gives an approving nod to the wizard, impressed. They position themselves in the shadows. Shadowheart and Astarion stand close to the next door. Gale stands back and Wolfram follows him. He eyes him with confusion "Surely this is too far back. Or do you plan to throw your sword?" Wolfram laughs "Ah, that's a bit of a last resort." He pauses then says, hesitantly. "I'm a warlock." Gale frowns in disappointment "Oh..." He recovers quickly and smiles "Well that's alright I suppose. You did get us in here. I don't mind doing the brunt of the spell work." Wolfram mocks gratitude "Oh well thank you so much! It's nice to have a proper magic user around." His hands crackle red with energy then he winks and hits the door with a powerful Eldritch blast, knocking it off the hinges and crushing two bandits under it.

After the bandits are defeated (and looted) they make their way to the dank crypt. Shadowheart notices the statue and says it's amusing that Jergal is here. Gale is curious about what information the scribes had that was worth killing over. As they're looting Astarion finds a book and unlocks it then sees the cover "Dead Gods? Sounds awfully boring." He sets it aside. Wolfram picks it up and thumbs through it, curious why some names are scratched out. He hands it to Gale who says maybe the book is why the scribes were killed. Whoever scratched out the names was clearly trying to hide something. Wolfram agrees. They look around the statue. Wolf notices a button and Astarion argues with him over who should get to push it. Gale inspects the device and the wall it's on and concludes that it likely opens a hidden door. Shadowheart says a secret room is likely trapped. Wolfram draws his blade and stands in front of the door while Astarion presses the button. The dead scribes rise and start towards them.

After defeating the undead they go into the room and meet Withers. They’re all a bit surprised with the talking skeleton, but it’s not the strangest thing that’s happened to them recently so they roll with it. Withers asks Wolfram what the value of one mortal life is. The warlock takes a moment to think as the others debate among themselves. Astarion scoffs and says the only life he cares about is his own. Anyone who says otherwise is an idealistic fool. Shadowheart says a life's worth should be measured in their devotion. What they're willing to do to remove the suffering of others. Gale says every life is precious in its own way. Full of potential…for good or ill - hopefully good.

Wolfram listens to them, smiling at Gale’s answer. He turns back to Withers and says, hesitantly "I suppose that depends on the person. Everyone approaches their life goals differently and therefore have a unique effect on the world around them. Ideally, the intentions behind their actions are judged along with the result. I’m certainly counting on that." Withers is satisfied with the answer and then cryptically says he'll see them again at the appropriate time and place.

They leave the tomb a bit confused… but they find an amulet that lets them speak to the dead so that's cool.

They return to Lae'zel at camp (She set it up in an open area near a stream). Wolfram thanks her for picking such an easily defensible position. He knew he could count on her. She scoffs and says she needs no thanks - but hopes they found some food.

As Wolfram is stacking wood for a fire Withers shows up and says he'll be there at camp to aid them. They're all a bit weary but he seems powerful so better to have him as an ally.

The First Night at Camp

Party Banter

Shadowheart: I'm a tad surprised you change into more comfortable garb at camp, Lae'zel. You strike me as the 'sleeps in her armor' type.

Lae'zel: It would cause too much noise during my nighttime…exertions. I do not wish to alert foes of our location.

Shadowheart: Nightime exertions… oh! I see. Well, considerate of you I suppose.

Wolfram: Who were you planning to uh… exert with?

Lae'zel: Whoever I wish, Wolf-rum.

Astarion: (giggles) I think you'll find a bit more effort is required to secure a partner around these parts…only a bit.

Gale: I'm surprised you're allowed to choose a partner outside your own people.

Lae'zel: We are to use and misuse every civilization in the stars in every way we know. I do not conquer by blade alone, Gale.

Gale: I can't imagine mother Gith would approve. Doesn't she prefer us lesser species enslaved? Or eviscerated?

Lae'zel: T’chk! And with that comment - this topic no longer concerns you.

Wolfram: (chuckles) What a shame, Gale. I hope you're not too heartbroken.

Lae'zel: What is this talk of breaking hearts? The wizard is still useful - I merely do not wish to lay with him. There is no cause to fear for his life.

Gale: Ah, well that's quite kind of you! Thank you for your mercy…on both counts.

The group is eating some fruit and dried meats they’d stolen from the bandits. (Astarion is just pretending to eat.) Lae’zel is sharpening her sword while chewing. Shadowheart asks Wolfram what he’d been doing before all this. He throws an apple core into the forest and then answers “I was a cook in Baldur’s Gate. Had my own place. Just a little 10-seater but I got by. A nice simple life. I'm eager to get back to it.” Gale laughs. Wolfram looks at him with a confused expression. Gale is surprised ‘Oh! You were serious? You don't seem the type.” Shadowheart frowns “After seeing you fight I must admit that’s a shock to me as well.” He shrugs “I’m full of surprises.” 

Shadowheart nods "Well it's quite the coincidence. I need to return there as well." Astarion looks at them with interest but says nothing. Wolfram asks Shadowheart if she has business there or is a resident. She says it's a bit of both but would rather say no more. It's a…sensitive matter. Gale nods then picks a scroll out of his pack and starts reading. The warlock holds up his hands saying he’s not the type to pry. 

Wolfram smiles "Perhaps once we have a cure we could travel there together?” Shadowheart nods "I don't see why not, Wolfram. You've proven yourself to be very helpful so far." He chuckles "Well, I'll take that as a compliment." She smirks "Perhaps it was." Lae'zel scoffs "You Fae-run denizens and your subtle courtship rituals. It's unnecessarily complicated." Wolfram and Shadowheart object at the same time. Shadowheart scolds "People can simply be friendly. Though I doubt you know the meaning of the word." The warlock scoffs smugly "I assure you I'm anything but subtle in my 'courtship'." Astarion giggles "I'll say, Wolfram. Your flirtations are completely artless. It's embarrassing really." The elf glances at Gale who is still intensely focused on reading a Ray of Sickness scroll they found. Wolf follows Astarion's eyes to Gale then shrugs "We’re in mortal peril, so why bother being subtle?"

Wolfram smiles awkwardly at Gale "How about you, handsome? What will you do after all of this is over." Gale keeps reading. Shadowheart and Astarion chuckle. Lae'zel scoffs and goes back to sharpening her blade. Wolf nudges Gale, who looks genuinely surprised as he sets down the scroll "Yes? Apologies, it's been some time since I learned that one. Quite an engaging read. I was miles away. How can I help you?" Wolfram smirks "I was asking what you plan to do once we've been healed." Gale's face falls briefly "Oh…" but a smile quickly returns "Well Wolfram, I suppose in a perfect world I'd return to Waterdeep. Back to my tower - surrounded by old tomes and having collected new tales to entertain my assistant." The warlock senses Gale is hiding something, but smiles "That sounds nice."

In time the sun sets and they all go to their tents. Wolfram goes to talk to Astarion. The elf complains about having to rough it outdoors. Wolf tries to reassure him and says it’s not so bad. Astarion frowns “It sounds like he’s done it before.” The warlock nods “Quite a bit. This is nothing compared to the time I managed to get some shuteye in a bog surrounded by will-o-wisp. …Although the normally peaceful forest with a satyr party raging outside my tent was its brand of challenging.” Astarion impressed “Oh my…how did you manage to rest during *that*?” Wolfram looks off dreamily “Oh I didn’t, not a wink. I failed miserably.” Astarion laughs “Well well! Our hero seems to have quite the past.” Wolf laughs “I’m no hero, but as for a past… I suspect we all do, right?” Astarion becomes guarded, furrowing his brow and crossing his arms. Wolfram smiles reassuringly “All I’m trying to say is that this place isn’t so bad. You’ll be fine.” Astarion's frown lifts a bit “Oh, alright. I suppose it’s only until we get these worms out of our heads. Then I'll find a decent inn with silk sheets and a nice drink.” The warlock nods “That does sound more comfortable. Well, good evening to you.” Wolfram walks off, muttering “What I wouldn’t give for a proper bath right now. Ilithids are nasty.” 

He talks with Shadowheart and asks how she’s feeling about the worm. She says there’s no point thinking about it. They need action. He nods and says that’s fair. They’ll continue looking first thing in the morning. She tries to warn him to be wary of Gale. Wolfram looks over at the mage pacing by the fire and smiles warmly “Aye, wizards may have a reputation…but who doesn't go a bit mad with power from time to time? I’ve a good feeling about this one.” Shadowheart shakes her head in disapproval as he walks away and mumbles “Lady guide me. Is there a reasonable one in this bunch?”

Wolfram talks to Lae’zel. She says they need to find a creche. She thinks one of the teeth-lings has seen her people. He asks if they'll be safe among them. She says they will so long as she's with them.

He goes over to Gale. (‘Go to Hell’ scene.) The warlock smirks "Good evening to you too." Gale chuckles “You’re a good sport.” The wizard is contemplative about the day's events. Wolfram stands next to him and looks into the fire. “I understand. We’ve been through a lot in a short time... and it's a scary situation we’ve found ourselves in. I’m trying to focus on other thoughts.” Gale nods “I must say - you seem more serious than earlier.” Wolf smiles awkwardly “Ah… well aboard the ship I was… under the influence of something that improves my mood.” Gale smirks “I won’t judge. I’ll confess I’d enjoyed the occasional recreational potion in my youth.” Wolfram laughs “I wasn’t high, Gale! Well, not under the effect of a potion anyroad.” Gale grins “Well, I’m pleased to see you taking things seriously now. Perhaps fewer attempts at humor? I have that domain covered.” The warlock chuckles “You certainly do, but I’ll have you know going forward I do tend to laugh in the face of danger. Rest assured I still take every fight seriously.”

Gale smiles, a bit more relaxed. Wolfram jokes around but is ultimately comforting. He offers Gale a drink to calm his nerves. Gale takes a sip of the liquor “I suppose this is one way to handle the situation we've found ourselves in. Alas, I have no books. A good read and a glass of wine do wonders for my constitution.” The warlock roots around in his bag and hands him two books he’d found in the ruins. “I guess I can share.” Gale is surprised “You looted them?” Wolfram shrugs “Of course. Some dusty tomes in an ancient ruin. How could I resist?” Gale smiles warmly “I seem to have judged you incorrectly. A fair few times today.” Wolf shrugs “In all honesty I’d expected it. You’re not the first wizard I’ve known.” He chuckles “A recent customer was quite possibly the most arrogant person I'd ever met. I suspect I won't need to cut you off and throw you out onto the street too?” Gale scoffs confidently “I’d like to see you try. Besides, I'm sure you're aware we're not all the same. I, for instance, am exceptionally humble despite my many impressive accomplishments.” Wolfram chuckles at Gale's smug expression then winks "I'm just teasing you. How about this, handsome - you keep an open mind and I’ll do the same?” Gale looks confused, more by the nickname than the proposition. He recovers and smiles apologetically “That sounds like a most excellent idea.”

After making the rounds, Wolfram returns to his tent. Despite his exhaustion, he can't sleep. He tries to think of home... his cozy apartment, the little bar and its odd clientele, the street urchins that may be going hungry without him to dole out scraps at closing time, the contracts he'll miss out on in his absence - likely to go to some bloodthirsty Guild member without care for casualties... Unfortunately, the only image that seems to stick is one of tentacles breaking through his skull. How will he lead this group of misfits amid his rising panic? How will he keep up his calm facade? A restless night of tossing and turning won't help, but that seems to be what's in store for him.

[gotnofucks]

Protected

Paring: dark!Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: How were you to know who’s a monster, who’s a savior when they all hide behind a mask

Words: 4.7k

Warnings: violence, manipulation, dark themes, language, 18+ ONLY

A/N: Aged up Peter Parker (obviously). No smut in here, even I surprised myself.

MASTERLIST

+++++

You stared in the mirror, hands clammy as you tried to angle the phone right. The lightening was not perfect, and you twisted, trying to see if you’ll need to turn on the flash. Just as you thought you’d found your position, your phone chimed and you jumped. Clicking on the notification you opened your messages and found another text from the private number.

Be quick

Just above this was the text you’d received 20 minutes ago that had you running into the bathroom and taking your top and bra off within minutes.

Send me a pic of your right nipple

It had started a couple weeks ago with the kidnapping of your boyfriend, Sammy. You didn’t realize he had been kidnapped at first. He worked as a driver for a rich family and they took him away without preamble overnight for visits into next town. You only noticed something was strange when all your calls and texts remained unanswered for two days and you finally made a call to his employers to figure out if everything was okay. It was a shock to realize that the family was in town and hadn’t seen him for two days too. You had jumped into action, barely making sure you were appropriately dressed as you made your way to the police station to report a missing person’s report. You had parked down and were just about to open your door when the first message pinged. You almost didn’t check your phone, but the notification said private number, so you clicked on it. Your world came crashing down.

It was a picture of your boyfriend tied to a metal chair in what looked like a warehouse with blood caking his hairline and mouth gagged. Tears were streaming down his face and you covered your mouth in shock. Another message chimed, this one reading:

Don’t even think of going inside. Turn around and go back to your home

You had whipped your head around, looking out of the window with terrified eyes as you tried to see anyone who looked suspicious or was paying attention to you. Nothing struck you out of the ordinary and you were more determined than ever to go in and file a report when another message popped up.

Go home or I can send your precious lover’s head to you in a parcel

Maybe you should have gone inside, maybe you should have told someone. But when someone is holding a gun to the love of your life, you do what the fuck they say. Common sense doesn’t come into play. Last minute solutions don’t play in your mind. It was real life, not a movie. You drove back to your house in tears, hands trembling. Your boyfriend was not missing, he’d been taken by someone. The drive back home was a blur and you barely made it without hitting someone or yourself. You parked outside and entered your home, locking the door behind. The moment you were in, another text alert:

Good girl

You locked all the doors and windows, the curtains drawn shut. You sat down in the living you, finally finding the nerve to text back.

Who are you? What do you want?

You waited for a reply, your eyes darting around your house. Did the person have camera’s in your house or were you simply followed? Would they really hurt Sammy or was that an empty threat? Should you call his parents? Your parents? Your phone dinged and quickly swiped up to open the text.

I want you to send me picture of your little toe

What the fuck? This had to be some sort of a joke. You were shaking in fear and anger, your hand clutching the phone in a dead grip. You should have gone and made the complaint. It was dark outside now, but you’d go to the police station first thing tomorrow morning. To hell with this person, you will not be scared of them. You took a screenshot of the messages and made sure your house was secure before retiring to your room with a knife. Sleep came late and restless, your worry keeping you from having a sated sleep. Horrible scenarios ran across your mind, each worse than the last.

You woke up early and dressed up. You needed to be at the station as soon as possible, Sammy was in danger. Whoever had him seemed addled in the brain. You were just pouring your coffee in your travelling mug when the doorbell rang. Your heart beat in your throat, your body seizing up in terror. You got your knife from the kitchen, creeping to the door on all fours trying to make the least amount of noise as possible. You leaned up slightly to peep out the peephole and saw a delivery man. He looked normal enough, cranky from an early delivery. You cautiously opened the door a few inches, hiding the knife behind your back.

“Y/n Y/l/n?” He asked and you nodded. He held out a small parcel to you along with a form to sign. You opened the door a few more inches and quickly scribbled your name across the form, taking the parcel with tentative hands. The man walked away without a goodbye and you sighed. Not everyone was out there to get you.

You placed the parcel on the table. It held only the delivery receipt, no other marks on it. It was small, almost like a jewelry box. You looked at the time and thought to open it first. You didn’t wanna deal with sleep deprived officers who refuse to take you seriously at the station. Getting out you scissors you cut the brown paper off and opened the plain carboard box. Inside was a jewelry box like you had expected, but who would send this to you? There was no note and you opened the flap.

It fell out of your hands as you screamed, your hands rushing to your mouth in horror. The thing that had been perched inside like a ring rolled out and fell on the floor, resting at your feet. It was a little toe. A severed, human little toe. And if your hunch was right, you knew who it belonged to. Your phone chimed at that very moment and you swallowed back the bile in your throat when you swiped up.

Next time, listen. I have no trouble sending his head to you.

P.S. Drink that coffee, looks delicious. And be a good girl and forget about the police if you give a damn about your piece of shit boyfriend.

P.P.S I’ll like a pic of your pinky finger

You send him the pic with shaky hands, tears falling down your cheeks.

This is how it went for a few weeks, them asking for pictures of different body parts. Each with a threat of the same part being chopped off Sammy’s body if you don’t comply. Whoever they were, they didn’t call you and you couldn’t call them. You rarely texted, only asking if Sammy was okay and you’ll get vague texts in reply saying, ‘that depends on you’.

The pictures were seemingly innocent enough at first. Your fingers, your knee, your shoulder, hair braided, hair in a pony. But then they got dangerous. The inside of your things, your ass in a pink pair of panties, your nipples. You gave them what they wanted. As long as Sammy was okay, but you didn’t know how long you could continue this. Something had to be done

+++++

You were probably making a big mistake, but you had no option. Police was out of question, but they weren’t the police. Not entirely.

The kidnapper could for some reason follow you everywhere, even look inside your home though you had scoured every corner and found no cameras. You needed people more powerful and they were the only ones who could help. You know they didn’t have time for something this small as they dealt with world endangering events, but you had to try. You entered the Avengers Tower, making your way to the front desk. The lady sitting behind looked kind enough, greeting you politely.

“Hello, how can I help you?” She asked with a practiced smile and you nervously smiled back.

“I uh, I want to make a complaint.” You winced as you said that, your eyes darting around. The lady however gave you a sympathetic smile, slipping you a form to fill.

“You can fill this one, but it may take a while to get to them. They can be very busy” She said, and you nodded, taking the form and going to sit on a couch to fill it out. You gave all the necessary information, adding in that you had picture proof. You hoped it reached someone here who could help, if not the avengers then someone from Shield. You got up to submit it when you bumped into somebody, making them drop their papers along with yours.

“Oh, I am so sorry” you apologized, bending down to gather their stuff as well as yours. A hand reached out to help and you looked up in the eyes of Sam Wilson. You blinked and then stammered another apology that he waved away. He got the papers from your hand, looking over and found your form.

“This yours miss?” He asked as he looked over the paper, his brow furrowing as he read on. You nodded and bit your lip. He turned it over and then looked back at you. “Do you have the picture evidence?” He asked tapping the paper and you nodded quickly. You showed him your phone, with the messages and pictures. He frowned, his handsome face pinched.

“Can you help me? They sent me his severed toe. For all I know he isn’t even alive now.” You croaked and Sam looked at you with kind eyes.

“Y/n, isn’t it?” He asked and you nodded. “Well, this looked very creepy and bad. I’ll take it up to the team okay? See if someone can spare sometime on it. Here, take my card. Call me if they approach you again.”

You almost sobbed with relief, glad that something seemingly good finally happened. You thanked him and pocketed his card, hoping you made the right call. It didn’t matter now anyway. You were in deep. Either the kidnappers find out and threaten you, possibly killing Sammy. Or they piss their pants and leave you the hell alone. You just wanted this to be over.

You returned to your flat with a lighter heart, having a full dinner after ages. You had the avengers on your case. The avengers. The guys who took down aliens and planet-wiping asshats. They will put an end to this, you were sure. You slept better that night too, heinous dreams not plaguing you for a change.

You went to work early that day. Usually your shift at the local clinic didn’t start until an hour later, but you were feeling hopeful. Helping people through the day by stitching their wounds or giving a kid a cartoon bandage took your mind off things. It was a smooth day, almost normal. No more texts from the kidnapper today and if Sammy were home, things would be perfect. You were only just leaving when another person walked in your station, a cut bleeding over their lip. You recognized the boy and gave him a reproachful look.

“Peter, again?” You groaned, your hands automatically reaching for the antiseptic wipes. He came in once every few weeks, battered from one thing or another. You were sure some gang was beating him up, but he never confided. He was your age, studying some cool physics stuff while you nursed here. He was a very regular patient.

“Hey Y/n, can you patch me up. Again.” He said, ruffling his hair awkwardly. You tended to him, being careful not to hurt him even though he barely flinched. He had tremendous pain tolerance and you didn’t wanna know how he built it up. He was a great guy, pretty cool and respectful.

“There you go, all done. Maybe listen to me for once and don’t do whatever it is you do.” You advised, and he sent you a bashful grin that you knew meant your words went in one ear and out of the other.

“Thanks. You look good today, happier. Something good happen?” He asked and you smiled a little.

“I think so. I’ll get to know soon enough. You look after yourself, mkay?” You say and pack up your stuff. You saw him lingering, feet shuffling around so you raised an eyebrow.

“Um, I was wondering if you’d wanna go out for a coffee or something?” He asked and now it was your turn to shuffle uneasily.

“Peter, I’m really flattered. But I’m in a relationship already.” You told him and saw him frown.

“You have a boyfriend?” He asked confused and you nodded. Sammy was still your boyfriend, regardless of everything. You weren’t going to go around dating behind his back. He will come home. You were sure he will. Peter’s face fell and before you could say something he nodded and left. You felt horrible, but you hoped he will come around.

You got a call from Sam right before you went to sleep.

“Hey, did the kidnappers contact you?” He asked and you said no. He hummed and spoke to someone in the background. “Can you come over to the tower tomorrow? We’ll have a look at your phone, try and track the number?”

You agreed to meet him there at noon and a smile spread on your face. Things seemed to be progressing. Maybe the kidnapper was too scared of the avengers to make any move. You hoped you’ll get Sammy back soon.

You reached the tower with ten minutes to spare. You had taken trouble dressing up today as you didn’t know if you’ll meet more avengers. It was a blessing to have them and you prayed things will turn out okay. Sam met you in the lobby, waving at you.

“Hey, come on up. We’ve got a tech team waiting” He said, and you followed him to the elevator. It seemed to rise up and up, and you got nervous. You were glad you hadn’t deleted anything from your phone but worried what they will say about it. You had after all sent nude pics to a stranger.

“Hey, don’t worry. It’s a safe space.” Sam promised you and you tried to force a smile.

You exited with him in what looked like a huge office space, with cabins and sleek furniture everywhere. He led you to the cabin at the end and held the door for you to enter. You took a step inside and almost stopped short. When Sam said tech team you didn’t know it would mean Black Widow and Tony Stark.

“Come on in, we don’t bite.” Tony teased you, waving you forward and you stumbled. They both shook your hands and offered you a seat where you sat gobsmacked. You kinda sat like a goldfish until manners and mobility returned and you greeted them with a high pitch hello.

“Hey kid, you don’t need to worry. We got a free day today and Wilson said a young lady needed saving. Romanoff loves the ladies you know.” Tony winked and Nat threw a stapler at him that he caught. You nervously smiled and then they got to business. You explained everything to them, showing them the texts and pictures.

“Hmm, it’s a private number. Let’s see if we can do something about it.” Nat said and connected your phone to her laptop, clattering away on the keys. As she did, her brows drew together and she huffed. “Oh, this one is good. Not good enough for me though.”

She kept at it for a few minutes and when her device beeped her mouth parted a little. She moved her head away and blinked before passing the laptop to Tony who looked baffled. He started his own clattering and you tensed. The laptop beeped again and just then the door opened. You looked up to see…a man wearing the spiderman mask.

“Hey kid, you know you can take that thing off in here.” Sam said.

“I’m good. I need to leave soon anyway.” The voice behind the mask said and it almost sounded familiar. He looked at you and waved and you returned the gesture. Of course, Spiderman’s identity was a secret. You were probably the reason he was wearing the mask in the first place.

“This doesn’t seem right.” Tony mused and he and Nat exchanged a look.

“What is it?” You asked and Sam echoed your question.

“Well, the signals of the phone trace back to this tower.” Tony answered and he seemed as bewildered as you.

“What? Like a shield agent? That would explain how they could spy on her without too much trouble.” Sam mused.

“You mind if I see Mr. Stark?” Spiderman asked and Tony passed the laptop to him, leaning back in his seat.

“I’ll have Friday run a scan all over the tower. We’ll have an identity soon. But damn, this is disturbing.” Tony said and you felt anticipation rise in you. You’ll have the name of the kidnapper soon, and after that Sammy can be home.

“Uh, Mr. Stark, something is going on here. I – I swear I didn’t do anything.” Spiderman called out in a panicked voice and Tony and Nat crowed around him.

“What the fuck? How did this happen?” Nat scowled, her face almost buried in the screen as Tony did whatever he did there. “This…this can’t just happen. Tony!”

They looked up at you genuinely confused as you stared back with wide eyes.

“It seems like someone just deleted all the data from the number, including the trace. That shouldn’t have been possible.” Nat explained and you willed your tears away. All the proof you had gathered was lost, including the only lead you’d had for months.

“Hey kid, don’t cry. We’ve got you, okay. We know its someone from inside the tower. We’ll keep a watch.” Tony assured you, patting your shoulder in a fatherly way. You sniffled and shifted in your seat, all the hopelessness coming back.

“I think someone should keep a watch with her.” Nat suggested. “Whoever they are, we know they are good. Must be some top shield agent. A stakeout at her place, that should clear shit up.”

The others nodded and you cringed. You didn’t want to trouble them or have your privacy invaded this way, but if that was what it took to get Sammy back, you’ll be okay with it. So, you agreed.

“I’ll see if Wanda is free.” Sam suggested when Spiderman stood up and waved goodbye.

“Now wait here Wilson, we got our friendly neighborhood hero right here. Kid, you look after her. Your people skills are depressing and maybe you’ll cheer up a bit.” Tony said and you saw Spiderman wring out his hands.

“Mr. Stark, I’ve got college.”

“She’s got work.” Tony looked at you and you nodded. “See it will be perfect. Go on, pack an overnight.”

You gave out your address and went back home, aggressively cleaning before Spiderman arrived. You felt kinda bad for him since you knew he didn’t wanna be here, but well, job’s a job. He arrived just as you’d finished shoving your stuff under the bed and you opened the door to him still wearing the mask.

“Hey, make yourself at home. I’d give you a tour but its only one room, bathroom and kitchen.” You said awkwardly, his red face looking around.

“It’s chill. I’ll make my bed on the couch. You don’t need to worry. I’ll keep you safe.” He promised. His voice wasn’t very rough, and you thought he must be somewhere around your age.

“You can uh, take your mask off if you wanna. I swear I won’t tell anyone” You promised but he shook his head.

“I’m fine. Please, don’t bother. Go about your day as usual. I’ll make myself scarce.” He set his bag on the coffee table and took out his books. Some complicated physics stuff. Well, Tony Stark wouldn’t just have a stupid rookie in his team.

You and Spiderman (Seriously, you can just call me Erek Trapper) had a simple dinner. You knew he’d given you a fake name, probably just an anagram but you didn’t push him. You valued your privacy too. He wasn’t too much trouble, always polite and never in your way. Only once you found him in your doorway watching you sleep, but he very embarrassedly told you that he needed an extra pillow to sleep. You gave him one after which he didn’t appear again.

He stayed for a week before shit happened. You were alone at home when your phone buzzed. “Erek” was still not back from his classes and you were making dinner. You picked up your phone and almost dropped it in fright. A private number.

Such a silly dumb girl you are.

Another buzz

You’re not good at taking orders, are you? We’re gonna work on that

Buzz

And here I thought you cared about this pathetic boy

Buzz

I should have really sent you his whole leg instead of the toe

Buzz

Look in your kitchen drawer

You turned around, sweat running down your neck and tremors hit you as you pulled out your drawer. You screamed, bloody fingernails inside a cup greeting you. You stumbled back and your windows started rattling all at once. You sat huddled in the kitchen, screaming with your head between your legs as knocks echoed around your apartment, multiple doors and windows banging. You sniffed and suddenly looked across the hall where a fire burned in your room.

“No!” You couldn’t get up, frozen in shock. The doors kept banging, smoke filling the house and your lungs, blurring your vision. Your throat was hoarse and dry and you coughed, trying and failing to stand up with support of the counter. You knocked against the drawer, the cup of nails tumbling down over you making you flail and howl.

You crawled away on shaky feet, feeling more exhausted than ever. Your lungs burned and you coughed, losing feeling of your body. The door was banging louder than ever and you shut your ears, tears making their way down your face.

It opened with a bang, a man nearly flying inside and to your side. Cool hands gripped your face and tapped your cheeks, urging you to keep your eyes open. You were in his arms, being lifted outside from your home.

“Mr. Stark, no, I got there in time. Yes sir. Taking her with me. Bring her to the tower? Yes sir. She’s okay – I don’t know. Maybe. Yes. Gonna be swinging with her.” He spoke to someone.

Air rushed against you and you barely opened your eyes before shutting them again. You were flying from building to building, only one arm around you keeping you safe. You hugged him tight, pressing your face into his neck.

“We’re almost there, Y/n. Damn it! I knew I should have controlled the drugs.”

You didn’t understand what he said and as the swinging motion grew frantic, your eyes shut.

+++++

Beeping of a machine greeted you and your eyes opened to the view of a hospital room. A tube was in your arm, a tv playing softly in the background. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and as your memories flooded you, you stood up. The beeping increased and a door opened to let in a man in middle age, with soft salt and pepper curls.

“Hey hey, its alright. You’re safe. You need to lay down.” He said. He looked so familiar and your eyes widened as you recognized him as Dr. Bruce Banner.

“I – what happened?” You asked. Before he could answer, Spiderman walked in and took the seat by your bed.

“I’ll let you guys talk. I’m going to be with Tony, Pete. Call me if you need something. And for god’s sake, take this goddamn mask off.” Bruce chided and left.

You looked at Spiderman who slowly took off his mask and your mouth dropped open. These brown eyes and hair.

“Peter?” You gasped and he nodded, abashed.

“I’m sorry I had to hide like this. I was going to let you know.” He explained. His eyes widened like he really really wanted you to understand.

“You’re Spiderman? So that’s where you got all those cuts from” You said, and he nodded. You raked a hand through your hair and winced when they tangled in some knots. “Thank you, Peter, for saving me. The fire, I – I don’t know what happened.”

Peter took your hands in his and placed a kiss on your knuckles. You frowned, trying to take your hand away but he resisted.

“Of course, I saved you. Sammy would have killed you otherwise.” He remarked and you started.

“Sammy? He’s here?” You almost jumped out the bed and Peter pushed down on your shoulder.

“Y/n, you don’t understand. Sammy was the kidnapper. He…he faked it.”

Peter was speaking but not making any sense. Why the hell would Sammy do that? You saw his bloodied pictures, you saw his torn off toe and fingernails.

“You’re mistaken.” You whisper but Peter shook his head.

“No, of course you’ll believe that. Sammy worked as a temp here last year. He got into Shield’s database and has been using that information to torture you. He faked it darling.” Peter said and pressed another kiss on your hand.

“That’s a lie. He never worked here! He was working for a family downtown!” You shouted and Peter nodded at you.

“Yes, but Friday’s data can be manipulated, and people paid off. They will never testify to knowing him.”

It took you a ridiculously long time to come to terms with what Peter said. His fingers were caressing up and down your arm, lips pressing soft kisses on your palm and wrist. You tried to wiggle it free, but he squeezed hard and you cried out.

“Don’t struggle, I don’t wanna hurt you anymore. I almost added too much hallucinogen to the smoke. You really scared me baby. Don’t do that again.” He scolded you and your eyes brimmed with tears. He wiped them away, cupping your cheek and you turned your face away.

“You?”

Peter nodded, his other hand playing with your hair.

“You were always so sweet Y/n. So nice to me, never asking too many questions. Being kind to me when I was beaten up. I have wanted you for months but then you kept talking to your friends about Sammy and it made me so sad. So, I took him away, kidnapped him. I tried to give you a closure, stage it properly. I would have killed him and sent you a picture, consoled you after his death. I asked you out, remember, and you still turned me down. But then you came here, to Mr. Stark. That day I barely managed to corrupt the filed on his laptop, they were so close to finding me. And well, I didn’t even have to manipulate him into sending me at your place. That worked out so smooth. Now, all the evidence is in play. Sammy will be indicted for conspiracy and attempt to murder. And you and me, we can be together.”

You opened your mouth to shout and his hand was promptly there, blocking all sound.

“Shh, don’t baby. I know you’re scared. I know. But Sammy is still with me. I can do anything. Right now, I’ve only cut off a toe and his nails. He’s still breathing. I think he’ll have a way better life in prison than in a grave, yeah?”

Peter leaned down and kissed your tears away, and when he removed his hands only sobs escaped your mouth. He cupped your face, looking so kind you doubted if whatever he said actually happened.

“No one will come between us. You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours.”

He pressed his lips to yours and you closed your eyes in surrender.

+++++

Taglist: @shooting-star-love @what-is-your-wish @littlegasps

Taglist is open 

[hufflautia]

Different Love Languages

✨COMMENTS+REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED✨  They motivate me and make me supes happy, so please pretty please reblog and/or comment!! It doesnt even have to be a coherent comment, keysmash if you must! ok fanks go read now and enjoy <3

Summary: Hufflepuff is the type of person to express her love verbally but Slytherin is different; he hardly says “I love you” and Hufflepuff worries that maybe it’s because he doesn’t love her as much as she loves him. Our darling puff will realize that this is simply not the case. People just have different love languages. 

Hufflepuff loved Slytherin. She really did. In fact, she reminded him frequently. 

“I love you,” she chortled during breakfast when Slytherin had cast a spell to make the bacon strips float around in a dancing manner so that she would cheer up after reading depressing news from the Daily Prophet. Another time, she cooed the term of endearment as he held her tightly in his arms, swaying to the sound of music in the background. 

The thing was that Slytherin rarely said “I love you” in the entirety of their relationship. Instead of saying it back to her, he often replied by cupping her cheeks tenderly and leaning in for another kiss. Other times, he responded with a loving smile, his eyes glowing with warmth and infatuation.

It’s not that Hufflepuff thought Slytherin didn’t love her. She could definitely see it in the way that he looked at her, in those stolen glances when he thought she wasn’t looking. She could feel it when he held her close at night, his arms wrapped protectively around her. 

However, a part of her- the small shadow of doubt within her heart that told her that Slytherin didn’t care for her as much as she did for him- just wished for some kind of affirmation, a clear signal that said, “I love you.” 

One day, Hufflepuff and Slytherin sat side by side in Potions class, listening to Professor Slughorn drone on and on about Felix Felicis. She was absentmindedly staring at the board when Slytherin slid his notes in front of her so that she could see the doodle he drew on the side of his paper. 

*Credit: Beastflaps*  

Hufflepuff bit her lip to suppress a laugh and squeezed his hand 3 times.  

Unfamiliar with the motion, Slytherin asked what the squeezes meant.

“It means I love you,” she whispered. Her voice was soft so that Professor Slughorn didn’t overhear their conversation.  

Nevertheless, Slytherin heard every word. A smile tugged at his lips and he immediately squeezed it back. He didn’t just stop there; he repeated the gesture about 6 times- and Potions class hadn’t even ended yet. 

From that day forward, Slytherin constantly told her I love you. Sometimes he squeezed her hand randomly- before he left for Quidditch practice, during breakfast when she passed him a plate of toast, and after he walked her back to the dormitory. 

Aside from that, he would occasionally tap out the gesture with his finger. 

Tap tap tap. 

Hufflepuff looked up from her book and made eye contact with Slytherin from across the room. She knew what it meant. She always did. 

Slytherin said I love you all the time now, more often than Hufflepuff’s verbal “I love you”. 

She realized that he had a different love language from her, and that was ok. It was the love itself that mattered. 

On their wedding day, as the officiant performed the ceremony, Hufflepuff looked up at Slytherin with adoration. “I love you,” she whispered. 

He smiled warmly at her and squeezed her hand four times. 

I love you too. 

~

Based on a true story! If you can’t see the link that I attached, here it is: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/ahb1c1/sometimes_i_forget_my_husband_has_a_different/ 

MASTERLIST ~(˘▾˘~) (click my profile to see the pinned post, aka my masterlist, if you cant see the link) 

Author’s note: YAYAY HI!!! DID YOU LIKE THAT?? 

probably yall @ me rn lmaoaoao

You might be wondering why i wrote this one-shot. There was no special occasion this time, I just got a bonk of inspiration one day. also i felt bad for reblogging my ice skating oneshot so much (i did it to respond to other peoples reblogs) and i sent an ask to my favorite fanfic writer, asking her about what happens if i reblog my own work and if it pushes my fanfic up the algorithm, and she answered my question but also said that she usually deletes her reblogs bc her followers would probably get annoyed if they kept seeing the same work over and over again. i felt bad bc i had just done that, and i didnt want yall to constantly see the same fanfic all the time, so i wanted to give u something new. also i was thinking back on that person who said that my writing was sporadic (they werent trying to be mean). Sporadic basically means spaced out and occuring at different intervals. i felt bad bc my writing is definitely spread out by one month for some reason. im not sure what this means for next month bc i never write 2 fanfics in one month. does this mean that i wont write a fanfic for november? hopefully not. ok that sounds sad, im sure it doesnt but who knows bc the college process thingies is killing me 

I wrote out the general details of the story at 1 am one night when i was trying to sleep lmaoao heres a screenshot: 

This is basically how I write for most of my fanfics at first, it consists of the general info along with some specific details.

At first, the one-shot was gonna be a drabble (aka a story that’s only 100 words long) but when I finished writing it, I went to wordcounter to check the number of words and it was 500! i was like oop ok im just gonna call it a oneshot then. i wrote part of the story on sunday morning and then i went to exercise in the park with my sister. afterwards, i wanted to keep working on it but then i became swamped with college stuff so i stopped. i started writing again today (its monday, but im posting it on tuesday, aka today for you- or maybe not if ur not reading this on the day that i posted it) and i surprisingly finished- but that was probably a bad idea to be writing the oneshot during this week because i have a lot of exams, but lets look at the bright side, i finished the story!

I didn’t think of the idea completely on my own. I actually read the reddit story (found it in a thread on insta) a few years ago, and I don’t know why but I was thinking about it that night and I decided to make a one-shot out of it! Isn’t it such a sweet story (the actual story, not this)?? It would be kinda nice if I reached out to the person and said, hey i wrote a story based on you and ur husband! 

Anyways, I just made a meme: 

i didnt actually get up, i just opened the notes app on my phone in the dark and wrote the details down. 

this isn’t related but i made a meme about the ice skating oneshot:

I’m gonna cut the authors note short (i usually write a lot. its funny when u go back and see my authors note in chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series, bc its so so short. wowza, times have rlly changed!) bc i think i have at least 2 exams tomorrow. this is gonna be me when i post this one-shot in the morning: 

bc i have to wake up early and i am most definitely not a morning person:/ OH GOD OK I HAVE TO STUDY NOW- 

Love you all, thank you for reading! TOODELOOOOOOO

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[namluve]

↳ take it down a peg | donghyuck x reader | 6.0k | one shot | 18+ genre: smut, fluff, established relationship warnings: sub!donghyuck, dom!y/n, hyuck in a maid dress, praise, dirty talk, handjob, use of toys, anal play, pegging, hyuck being a brat but what’s new?, hints of the sweet switch life 

❝ donghyuck overhears you one night talking about your love for boys in maid dresses and pegging. being the best boyfriend he is, he of course wants to make your dream into a reality. ❞

note: since boys in maid dresses have taken over my life I decided to write a maid trilogy, starting with yours truly donghyck. I have put way too much time into this fic but I regret nothing as it made writing fun once again. hope you enjoy!

Your day had been pretty much like any other day. You woke up, got dressed and went to school. Sat through your lessons, most of them which were boring thanks to the teachers that should have chosen another profession. Your lunch was spent as usual on campus with your closest classmates.

Your day had been going on as usual, until after lunch when Haechan, your boyfriend for almost a year now, had sent you an unusual snapchat to say the least. You had already replayed one of his snaps today, the boy liked to have a timeframe on his snaps and most of the time it wasn’t enough for you to read.

Today, however, he did it on purpose. Knowing you’d already replayed one of his snaps today he took a peculiar picture and set it on three seconds. You’d gasped when you’d received it and immediately switched to text him.

He acted clueless, as if he hadn’t just sent you a picture of himself in a maid outfit. And honestly, you didn’t know how to react. Texting him as soon as you’d gotten the picture. You barely even saw it, the thought of screenshotting it never occurring to you until after. Why did it make your cheeks glow red? And why couldn’t you stop thinking about it?

A month ago, you and your friends had hung out and of course the topic of tik tok trends was brought up. The girls (including you) started to gush about the recent trend of boys dressing up as maids. After a glass of wine, you didn’t hold back on your thoughts exactly.

“I don’t know why it’s hot, it just makes me feel a certain type of way!” You exclaimed at one point and your boyfriend started to pay more attention to your words. The conversation so livid you didn’t even notice that Donghyuck hadn’t spoken a single word after you’d said that. His focus all on you now.

You weren’t the type of girl who liked sharing your kinks and stuff you’d like to try in the bedroom with your partner. Far too shy despite what was going on behind closed doors with your partners. Donghyuck knew that. He had to draw out every single one of your kinks by tricking you into telling him, well that was until now.

Now you were just openly expressing your love for boys in maid outfits with your best friends and Donghyuck could barely believe what he was hearing. It was as if you didn’t know he was in the room, sitting beside you. What was more shocking though was when one of your best friends exposed one of your kinks, pegging.

She played it off as a joke but Donghyuck noticed how your cheeks turned a shade redder and how your whole body tensed. How quickly you moved on to the next conversation topic and how you nervously glanced at him.

And so, the thought of you pegging him was born in Donghyuck’s mind. A week later, he still couldn’t let it go. It didn’t help that that week when Donghyuck had been on top of you, you’d playfully squeezed his ass and the action had made him moan.

He was embarrassed about it and you’d noticed it, of course you noticed it and of course you used it to your advantage. You’d always liked the shape of his ass anyway so to playfully grab it in order to hear Donghyuck moan was a win win situation for you.

Two weeks ago, Donghyuck made the call to order some toys. Thinking of it as an early birthday present for you. He found the smallest strap-on he could find and added it to the cart, among with some other toys. A bullet vibrator and a buttplug he hoped to be able to use on you later. Preferably the next day so he could have you trembling underneath him and you wouldn’t be able to tease him. His plan was bulletproof.

While on the internet, he stumbled across a website with the name ��lolita’ in it. Who was he trying to fool? He’d googled maid outfits, thinking he could put one on and tease you with it. A grin on his face as he’d found the perfect one. One he could picture dressing you up in as well and reverse the rolls.

The toys arrived in his mailbox less than a week later. He hid them in his room beside the bed and waited for the maid outfit to come only to forget all about it a week later. Busy taking care of you as you worried about your exams. He’d taken a gap year and had decided to work for a year in order to figure out what he wanted to study while you’d already had your mind set on what you’d wanted to study.

Last week when you’d finished your exams Donghyuck couldn’t have been prouder of you. You had been studying so hard and he was happy to finally be able to spend some more time with you and treat you. He’d been thinking long and hard about what he wanted to do for you. Something to show how proud he was and how much he loved you and on Friday his answer arrived in the mail. The Lolita maiden dress.

Donghyuck spent the weekend panicking about it. He had been pretty cocky about it when he’d ordered it but now when he was trying it on it was a whole other story. To his own surprise, he actually loved wearing it. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it as to why he loved it, but he knew he did. It made him feel a certain type of way, as if he wanted to serve you. To be at your mercy per say.

Donghyuck loved being a sub, a bratty one yes, but a sub nonetheless. The maiden dress somehow made him want to be a good boy, rather than a bratty one. To follow your orders straight away for ones and not have you fight him for his submission. He wanted his submission to be earned but with the outfit he felt as if he’d discovered a new part of himself. A part he didn’t know existed.

And so on Monday, he sent you the picture on snapchat. He’d previously made you use your replay of his snaps already. He was not going to risk you screenshotting it, no matter how pretty he felt in it. No, he wanted to tease you. To act clueless about it. To have you beg for him to put the outfit on. He wanted to dom you in it.

What he didn’t expect was for you to show up at his doorstep half an hour after school had ended unannounced. This meant you had walked straight from school over to his place without a second thought. This wasn’t going according to plan. Usually, you always texted Haechan whenever you were on your way which would give him a heads up.

“Why did you send that?” You questioned as soon as he opened the door and Donghyuck shrugged. Slightly shocking his head as he looked at you confused. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He was acting just as clueless as he had done over text. Truthfully, Donghyuck was a bit taken aback by your sudden boldness and straight forward action. No teasing he’d done so far had gotten this strong of a reaction and he instantly felt smaller, even though he was taller than you as you walked past him into his apartment. Your movements fast and decisive as you threw your bag on the ground and took off your coat along with your shoes.

He closed the door behind you as he immediately started to regret his plan. This was going to backfire, and he had no way in hell to determine the outcome from it. He’d never seen you so riled up about something. You didn’t even look at him as you with determined steps walked over to his bedroom.

Donghyuck followed you closely, his back against his bedroom door as he observed as you took a quick look around the room. Your eyes on the lookout for something very peculiar. “Where is it?”

“Where is what?” Donghyuck countered your question with and you took a deep breath, rolling your eyes before staring right into his as you started to slowly walk towards him. He gulped as he started to feel smaller and smaller the closer you got to him, despite the fact that you had to now look up in order to meet his eyes. As you were now standing right in front of him, you crossed your arms over your chest. Tilting your head as you spoke your next words. “Where is the maid outfit?”

“I don’t-“

“And I don’t want to hear a single word out of your mouth unless it’s the answer to my question. Are you gonna be a good boy and tell me or do you want me to leave?” You cut Donghyuck off and watched as he inhaled a sharp breath, his pupils wide as his mouth went dry.

You had to admit that all your pent-up frustration thanks to the exams and therefor lack of sex was part of the reason for your harsh voice. The other part was you knew how much Donghyuck liked it. The brat loved being put in his place every now and then but even you had noticed there was something more to it today.

“No…” He admittedly pouts his defeat, still not breaking eye contact with you. His heart was racing, his hands sweating as you took one of your hands to caress his cheek. The touch gentle yet filled with so much power that Donghyuck almost melted from it. “Then… Will you be a good boy and put it on for me? Let me take care of you?”

Donghyuck nodded and you smiled softly as you took a step back, giving him some space. Snapping out his trance, Donghyuck carefully walked past you over to his wardrobe. Opening it, he carefully pulled out the maid outfit, the fabric soft in his hands. He almost felt shy as he turned around to face you with the dress in his hands. “Do you want me to?”

“Yes.” You’d instantly replied and Donghyuck looked down. Nervously chuckling before he met your gaze again. “Could you turn around while I…?” His words faded as he carefully asked the question. He’d been naked in front of you countless times, hell sometimes he would switch his shirts only to have you ogling at his bare chest but not today. This was unexplored territory.

You nodded and turned around. Donghyuck let out the breath he was holding in and quickly took off his clothes, leaving his boxers on as he switched to the maid dress. Catching a glimpse of his reflexion he could see that his hair was a little ruffled from how fast he’d taken off his shirt, cheeks painted with a slight pink shade.

“You can look now.” He nervously called out as his eyes diverted to focus on you again. You turned around and were stunned by the sight. The black flowy black maid dress with white details as well as a white apeiron stopped right above his knees. Donghyuck nervously played with the hem of it as you stared at him.

You felt yourself getting wet at the sight of it. A deep breath left your lips as you studied each of his body parts and how it looked on him. His waist slight defined, the short sleeves that stopped a bit above his elbow defined his arm muscles deliciously.

You were so caught up in watching him that you didn’t notice when his demeanour changed. Once he’d swallowed his nervousness and started to focus on you, he noticed how affected you were by the sight. The perfect opportunity to turn the tables had risen for him.

Slowly he made his way over to you. Your eyes never left his body, even as he was standing right in front of you. With a smirk on his face Donghyuck tilted your head up with one of his hands and captured your lips. With his plump lips on top of yours you couldn’t help but to melt for a moment. That was until he deepened the kiss, and you laid your hands on his body, the fabric off the dress immediately bringing you to your senses.

Letting one of your hands gently caress his hair you earned a soft moan from Donghyuck that quickly turned into a whine as you harshly pulled his head backwards, breaking the kiss. With his face all scrunched up in a mix between pain and pleasure you couldn’t help but to confess your thoughts.

“I wanna peg you so bad.” It was true, the mere thought of it made your heart race and pussy even wetter. What you didn’t expect was for Donghyuck to answer, “Then do it.”

Letting go of his hair, you looked at him surprised and he looked equally surprised back at you. He didn’t expect those words to leave his mouth so easily, especially since you hadn’t even done anything with him yet.

“Really?” You carefully asked, studying his face for his reaction as you waited for his response. You bit your lip and honestly, how could Donghyuck ever say no to you when you do that? “Yeah. I bought a strap on for you earlier when-”

“You did what?” You cut him off and his ears turned red as he looked down, his right hand nervously scratching the back of his head. “Yeah… I did it after what you said at Sunny’s birthday party.”

The memory was played back in your head and your mouth let out an ‘oh’ as you started to piece things together. “So… you have wanted me to peg you for a while now?”

“I guess… I mean… I want to try it. I don’t know if I’ll like it but yeah… if you want to, you can, you know?” He softly answered and you couldn’t help but smile. “Okay… then show me.”

“Show you what now?” Donghyuck asks a bit confused and you let out a giggle, your eyes sparkling as you do. “The toys, I want to see them.”

“Oh… that… yes.” Donghyuck nervously mumbles to himself as he turns around. You finally get to see the maid outfit from behind as he walks over to his bed and picks up a box that rests underneath his nightstand. As he places it on the bed you walk over and sit down next to it.

“May I?” You looked up at him as you asked, and he nodded. It’s a plain regular cardboard box but the contents of it were far from regular. Firstly, you take out a bottle of lube that you hold in your hands as you carefully read on the bottle. A water based one that seems to be your typical ‘starter pack lube’ for toys.

Secondly, you pull out a buttplug with a purple crystal on it. This one seemed to be purchased for you, considering Donghyuck knew purple was one of your favourite colours and you blushed slightly at the thought of wearing it. Putting it down on the bed next to the lube after looking at it for a moment. The entire time, Donghyuck held his breath nervously awaiting your reaction.

The next toy you pulled out was the small bullet vibrator he’d gotten. This toy you’d seen many times, although, you would never tell Donghyuck about it. The cocky grin on his face that would form if he ever found out you used toys at home.

Lastly, you pulled out the strap on. A simple black leather one with a dildo attached to it. You put your hands around it in order to try and determine its size. It was smaller than Donghyuck’s dick for sure, definitely not as girthy. You felt powerful holding it, tingles going down to your core at the thought of having Donghyuck at your mercy.

Putting it away next to the other toys, you looked up at Donghyuck. He was nervous, you could see it in his eyes and the way he nervously played with the hem of the dress. “You still want to do this?” You asked and he nodded.

“Yeah… I just don’t know… how… you know?” He mumbled and you nodded as you patted your hand on the bed on the spot next to you. “Sit down.”

He did as he was told, his hands still fumbling with the hem of the dress even as he sat next to you. Taking both of your hands, you cupped his face, placing a sweet kiss on his lips.

“Allow me to worry about that. I’ll take care of you and if you ever want me to stop you let me know okay?” You reassured and Donghyuck nodded once again. “Now lay down.”

He did as he was told and you crawled on top of him, hands freely roaming his body. Feeling the soft fabric of the maid outfit underneath your hands as you took your time with him. Wanting to appreciate every part of him.

“You look so good in a maid dress, you know that right?” You praise and Donghyuck looks away as he chuckles, shy under your gaze. “Stoooop.” He whines but you only smile at him.

“You really do. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do when you sent that pic to me earlier. Couldn’t focus the rest of the day.” This fed his ego, and you knew it. A grin on his face as he watched you caress his body. “Really?” He questioned and you knew your tactic was working.

“Mhmm, I just had to get my hands on you as quickly as possible.” You continued to praise and felt how Donghyuck began to relax in your embrace. Dropping your head, you started to place kisses on his neck. Quickly finding his soft spot as he moaned when you grazed over it.

“Made me just want to devour you.” You purr in his ear before placing your lips on his neck. This time leaving bruises as you sucked on the sensitive skin on his sweet spot that was located just above his collarbones. Donghyuck moaned, his hands going to rest on your thighs, rubbing slow circles on them.

As you started to grind down on him, you felt him getting hard underneath you and you let out a soft moan. The urge to kiss him became too strong so you let your lips wander upwards to find his lips. Once you found them, you kissed him hungrily and he quickly melted under your touch.

Donghyuck would never admit it but he wanted more, no scratch that, he needed more. And so, he began to rock his hips upwards to meet yours. “Someone’s a little eager.” You teased, mumbling against his lips and he almost growled. The thought of just flipping you around to wipe the grin of your face was in his brain until you stopped kissing him and began to place kisses going downwards. Crawling backwards as you placed kisses on his neck, chest and then stopping at his stomach. Placing yourself on your knees in between his legs.  

Your hands went to flip the skirt of his dress upwards and Donghyuck looked away because of the act, shy under your gaze again. The unexplored territory made him nervous. He quickly relaxed however when he felt your hand groping his dick outside of his boxers. The action made him slightly buck his hips upwards.

Satisfied with his reaction, you pulled his boxers down. Teasing him as you slowly dragged the material down his legs before throwing it away somewhere on his bedroom floor. His cock now almost fully erect laying against his stomach. Once his boxers were out of the way you wrapped your hand around his dick and started to slowly stroke it. Donghyuck hissed at the sudden contact and you felt as he grew harder with every stroke.

While giving Donghyuck a handjob you carefully thought about your next move. You needed lube and you needed better access to his ass. “Hyuckie.” You sweetly called and your boyfriend looked at you.

“Spread your legs and hold them close to your chest.”

“Why would I do that?” He questioned as he scrunched his face. You let out a deep sigh. “So that I can finger you properly, now do as you are told.”

Your tone was firm but filled with care and Donghyuck let out an ‘oh’. He’d totally forgotten about the pegging, happy and content with having your hands around his dick. He nodded as he did what he was told. With his legs now spread, his hands on the back of his thighs holding them close to his chest and the maid dress around his waist he looked eternal. You watched him for a second, hypnotized by the sight. Your panties had to be drenched by now.

Donghyuck whined and you were brought back to reality. He was impatient as well as nervous. He could see the hungry gaze in your eyes but was too shy to make a snarky comment about it. He’d never felt anything like it before. He liked being watched, loved it when you praised him but there was something special about being in a maid outfit all on display for you.

“I’m gonna put on some lube now, okay?” You informed as you grabbed the lube and you heard Donghyuck silently say ‘okay’ back. His breathing was ragged, and he couldn’t look at you as you opened the bottle and put some lube on your point and index finger. “It might be a little cold, but you let me know if anything is uncomfortable, okay?”

You waited until you saw your boyfriend take a deep breath and nod. He was nervous, no sassy comments left his mouth as usual and you knew you had to do something to make him relax. Otherwise, this wouldn’t work.

So you surprised him by taking hold of his dick with your other hand, going up and down his length just like before. A soft moan left his lips and as he slightly arched his back you took your time with spreading the lube around his ring muscle. Watching carefully as he hissed because of the sudden coldness but quickly relaxed as you made circular motions around the muscle with your two fingers.

Testing the waters, you allowed the tip of your point finger to enter his hole slowly for a little while before you pulled it out. Donghyuck hissed slightly but besides that he didn’t seem to be all too uncomfortable, your boyfriend not being shy on being vocal during sex.

Removing your fingers, you decided you would add more lube. If there was anything the internet had taught you is that there could never be too much lube. And so, you added more lube on your fingers and tried again. With more lube the tip of your finger entered Donghyuck much easier and a small moan was heard from your boyfriend.

“That feels good?” You questioned and he scoffed, clearly more comfortable and back to his usual bratty self. “You haven’t even done anything yet.” He snarked back and you ‘tsk’ at him.

Well, if that was how he wanted to play this out. Removing your fingers from him you swore you could hear a whine leave his lips as his hole was left empty. Beside you, you picked up the bullet vibrator and put lube on it. The hand that had been stroking his dick up and down now went down to settle on playing with his balls.

Donghyuck bucked his hips slightly backwards, his eyes suddenly searching for yours. “Okay, okay, I promise I won’t be bratty. Please don’t peg me yet. I don’t know if I’m ready.”

You chuckled slightly at his panic and smiled softly at him, placing a sweet kiss on his inner thigh. “Oh he’s even saying please? Where’s the Hyuckie I usually have to put in his place?”

“You just wait until tomorrow, t-then you won’t be smiling.” He warned poorly as he stuttered when you squeezed his balls a little harder than usual. “Aww, you gonna punish me tomorrow Hyuckie?” You taunted him and could see as his whole face tensed. Eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to think of anything to say back while trying to ignore the immense pleasure he was receiving from your hand. As a drop of sweat dripped down his forehead he was reminded of how hot his body was getting underneath the dress.

“I don’t think you’ll be punishing me tomorrow at all. I think you’ll be begging me to peg you.” You said with your voice low before he could come up with anything. The bullet vibrator that was fully lubed up and ready in your hand as you teasingly placed it a little bit around his hole. Going down to circle around it carefully as you watched Donghyuck’s reaction.

His face torn between pleasure and confusion. His hands gripped his thighs a little harder as you allowed the toy to push in just a little bit, the tip of the toy easily slipping inside of him. Donghyuck whined as it slipped out and you knew he was ready for more.

“Just like you’ll be doing today.” You said as you turned on the bullet vibrator. A loud moan erupted from your boyfriend as you circled the toy around his hole. The ring muscle twitching at the low vibrations coming from the toy. “Fuck, please…” He pleaded and you allowed once again the tip of the toy to enter him. You had a plan to get him desperate, and it was working.

This time he bucked his hips into your hand, making the toy enter him further. The moan that left his mouth this time was so loud you thought his neighbours must have heard it for sure. You kept the toy still and allowed Donghyuck to fuck himself on it, slightly bucking his hips upwards in a slow pace. His eyes closed, breathing ragged with low moans spilling out every now and then. He was getting close, you could see it in the way his dick would twitch.

“Look at yourself… fucking yourself on a small toy… Are you really that desperate for me? Do you really want me to peg you that bad?” You teased him and he shook his head. Of course he was going to be a brat about it.

You let go of his dick as well as taking away the bullet vibrator from him and he whined loudly, a single tear leaving his eyes. “Please, please, please…” He pleaded as he looked at you with desperation in his eyes. Crocking an eyebrow at him you asked, “please what?”

“Fuck… Peg me… Okay?... Fuck me… I don’t know… Just… Anything.” Donghyuck begged and you smiled at him. “Good boy…” You praised before continuing, “Play with yourself while I get ready, but you can’t cum. Behave and I’ll make you feel real good, alright?” Donghyuck nodded with enthusiasm as he allowed one of his hands to stroke his dick. It wasn’t the same as when your hands were wrapped around his dick but at least it was something.

Taking the strap on, you debated on whether or not you should wear it with your clothes on or not. Sensing your hesitation, Donghyuck looked up at you with a smirk on his face. “I heard that it feels better for the girl if she wears it completely naked.”

“Mmm, I bet your source is completely legit.” You said as you took off your shirt. “It’s totally legit, I read it in my discord chat, which by the way, is always right.” You rolled your eyes, remembering that one time you and Donghyuck were arguing and he went to his discord chat for back up and of course, he got it. All the boys stepped up in favour of his argument leading you to give them the side eye next time you met them.

You stripped down, listening to his foolish argument besides the fact that you decided to keep your panties on. Totally because you didn’t know if he’d washed the strap on or something. Not because your pussy was soaked and you didn’t want to get your wetness all over the strap. Totally not the reason at all.

Donghyuck didn’t seem to mind as he watched you with hungry eyes undress and put the strap on. Having to halter his movements in order not to cum at the sight. You looked sexy with the leather straps hooked around your body in a way that he couldn’t explain. Maybe it was because of the fact that he’d never seen you dressed up in a strap on, or maybe it was the power you held while having it on. Maybe it was because Donghyuck was excited about what was about to come.

“You look so hot.” He complimented and you couldn’t help but to feel your ears turn red. You were more or less fully naked while he still had the maid dress on. Both of you were a little shy under each other’s gazes. You thanked him as you placed yourself in position in between his legs on your knees again. “You ready?” You asked and he nodded.

You took the bottle of lube and placed plenty on top of the dildo that was now attached to your body. Taking the lube, you placed some more around Donghyuck’s hole and watched his face as he scrunched in discomfort because of the coldness. Finishing off, you placed some more lube on your fingers and started to do circular motions around his ring muscle again.

“Stop teasing...” Donghyuck whined and you carefully slid a finger inside of him, watching as he swallowed it with ease. “I’m not, I just wanna make sure you’re ready.” You explained and his face softened.

You continued to use one finger until you felt him buck into your hand. “More?” You asked and Donghyuck replied with; “please.”

Adding another finger, you fingered him slowly before you started to gently scissor him. Gradually making his ring muscle widder. When Donghyuck’s moans got louder and the hand he’d wrapped on his cock started to go faster you knew he was ready.

Pulling out your fingers out of him, Donghyuck whined and immediately complained. Pleads leaving his mouth as he desperately searched for more stimulations, that is, until he felt the tip of the strap on at his entrance.

He moaned loudly as you started to enter him, one of your hands kept on the bed for balance while the other was wrapped around the dildo. Carefully and slowly guiding it into your boyfriend’s ass. You watched Donghyuck’s face the entire time, his ass took the dildo with ease with how much lube you’d applied and warmed him up. Pure bliss written on his face.

“You okay?” You asked as you bottomed out and laid one hand on either side of his body. Your body now laying on top of his. “Mhmm, but I’d be feeling even better if you started moving.” He answered with a smile and you couldn’t help but to laugh at him. A soft chuckle left your lips as you bent down to kiss him.

“Beg for it.” You whispered against his lips and he looked at you confused. “You're already inside of me, why would I beg?”

“Because, I can just as easily slip out of you and leave you like this.” You answered his question as you started to pull your hips backwards slowly.

“Okay, okay, fuck, don’t do that!” Donghyuck whined as he let go of his cock to hold onto your hips in a desperate attempt to stop you from pulling out. “Fuck… please just fuck me, I want it so bad, you have no idea.”

“Then tell me.”

“You look so hot right now, I think I might cum just because of that. It feels so good, you feel so good and… fuck… please just fuck me…” Donghyuck confessed and you decided you’d have your fun teasing him. And so, you started to rock your hips forward.

With a steady rhythm you rocked into Donghyuck, his moans rapidly growing louder. The neighbours could probably hear him, but neither of you cared. You watched him as he withered underneath you. His face totally fucked out with his hands barely being able to hold onto his thighs. Precum leaking out of his dick and slowly making its way down onto the maiden dress. It was a pretty sight to say the least.

“You look so good all dressed up for me baby boy.” You praise Donghyuck and hear as his breath hitches, he was close now. He just needed that final push over the edge. Taking hold of his legs, you push them slightly more backwards, giving you a better angle to go deeper. “Think you could cum just like this? With me fucking you while you lay so prettily underneath me?”

“Fuuck… yes… yes… I think I’m gonna-“ Donghyuck couldn’t even finish his sentence before he suddenly came. His cum spurting out all over the dress, his legs shaking, face scrunched and voice hoarse as he groaned. You slowed down your movements, riding out his orgasm just like he usually did with yours.

You stopped moving for a few seconds, watching as his body started to relax and he laid down complete on the bed. His arms and legs going limp as he breathed heavily. Slowly, you slipped out of him, a whine leaving his lips as you did.

Catching your breath, you took off your strap on before laying down next to your boyfriend. You caressed his face gently, placing small kisses on his shoulder as you asked, “how are you feeling?”

“Never been better.” You chuckled at his response, his eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath.

“Is there anything I can do for you? Oil your bum? Get some-“

“Oil my bum? Did you read the wikihow on how to peg your boyfriend?” He cuts you off, clearly offended and you laugh at him.

“Okay, maybe I didn’t phrase it right but is there anything I can do for you?” You ask again and he hums softly as he opens his eyes to look at you. “You could get me some water, but in a minute. I just wanna cuddle you first for a little bit. Haven’t felt your boobs against me today.”

You playfully slap him on the chest as you warningly say his name and he laughs at you. With the biggest grin on his face, Donghyuck kisses you on your forehead.

“You’re the best girlfriend, you know that right?”

“And you’re the best boyfriend.” You smile as you look up at him. His smile faltered as if he’d thought of something. “Actually… there is something you could help me with right now…”

“What?”

“Get me out of this dress. It’s so sticky I can’t.” Donghyuck complains and you can’t help but to laugh at him. And so, you help him out of the dress and the two of you share a much needed shower after some cuddles. This had been both of yours first experience with pegging, but certainly not the last.

You may have even worn the maid outfit for Donghyuck, after a wash or two in the washing machine of course… 

[white-tulips]

I spent most of this morning continuing playing through the hikikomori route, more of my thoughts below!! (major spoilers ahead!!!!!)

if you haven’t but want to read my first post on my hikikomori playthrough, you can see it [here]!! it’s been a month since I last played any, aha...

I played for quite a few hours earlier but I don’t think I really progressed all that much aha. most of my time went towards grinding and wandering around and seeing little things. oh, and also playing through Orange Oasis. I never actually did that in my first run of the game. it was okay.

I really love how many little details and things to go back to that there are, but I’m still a little bitter at just. how long everything is. I talked about this a lot in my previous post, but it irritates me that the first 15-20 hours (give or take depending on how fast you’re able to blast through this game) is just. exactly the same as what you experience in the main route. especially since now my hikikomori save file is even longer than my main story file, and I think I still have a decent ways to go until I finish. I don’t actually know! I haven’t been spoiled for this route, thankfully, so I don’t really know how much is left. I have a vague idea of a couple areas I need to go to, but that’s about it.

ok, on to my thoughts!! this post is probably just going to be me rambling about tiny details I found interesting since I didn’t progress through much plot stuff, I think.

when I opened up my save file, I. completely forgot what I had been doing a month ago and what I wanted to do next, so I decided to go back to the Last Resort. I don’t know what compelled me to go, but there was a lot of fun stuff there so I’m glad that I did!

I had never tried to use Aubrey to go into the girls’ bathroom before? it was very cute, I liked it. I don’t know why, but as soon as I walked in it really reminded me of Basil. I think it’s all the flowers, photos hanging from the wall, and general soft cutesy vibe. I’m not really sure what to make of that, but it was just my general impression. hmmmm.

I have no words for this other than it just made me amused. go get your vacation, king.

also:

I didn’t know Hero had a confirmed age!! all this time I had been assuming he and Mari were 16 years old, so it’s nice to have something set in stone!

I have no words for these, either. seeing all of the Hero pictures just made me laugh out loud a little I loved it.

when I was standing in Jawsum’s office, I noticed that the elevator behind his desk was shaking. I went to examine it, and was surprised when this was where I ended up.

the black space elevator.

something I completely forgot to mention in my last hikikomori post was black space!! it had completely took me by surprise so I can’t believe I forgot to talk about it.

last time I played and went back to Last Resort, there was a completely black car on the highway and it had really freaked me out. as soon as I clicked on it, instead of giving me some kind of prompt Omori just got in and it drove off. I was so shocked because I wasn’t expecting it fhgjdfhgj. it ended up taking Omori back to one of the black space rooms, and I had no clue what to make of it. I wandered around for a little while, and ended up finding this... friend?

I’m... not sure! who are you......

anyways, so I got in the elevator and we’re back here, now with more spiders.

the spider wasn’t interactable. not sure whether to be upset or relieved.

aaaand then there was this guy in the treehouse. I want to know what these black space NPCs are!!! as soon as I tried to interact with it, the screen glitched out (intentionally) and then it was gone. one day I’ll know what it means.

oh, another thing I spent quite a bit of time doing at the Last Resort-

getting statues made of everyone!! RIP to all of my clams, but these are so cute.

cuuute.

I really liked the comment on Mari’s! it made me happy that it highlighted her playful side.

after I was done reexploring Last Resort, I wanted to go back to Sweetheart’s castle. I was walking through Pyrefly Forest, and I noticed one of the picnic blankets had a cooler open (signaling that you can see a new picnic cutscene) so I went to go sit down and have a picnic.

so, when I was going around earlier and doing some stuff, there were a few picnics that I think I had skipped for some reason so I was doing them and mindlessly skipping through the text for no reason other than it would bother be if I just left them. nothing about the conversations was different even though Basil is here now, so I didn’t think anything would be different for the one in Pyrefly Forest, but I was wrong!! I almost completely skipped through everything aha.

it started off the same, with Hero being scared of the spiders, and then Kel prompted Basil to say something positive to try and make him less scared.

it’s pretty insignificant, but I thought it was interesting that he said pretty much the exact same thing he says in the spider room in black space.

when I got to the castle, I went straight to the library. something about the pattern of going to black space, plus being able to go into the barn in Otherworld, just made me feel like there would be something there. and oh boy was I right. the entire place was crawling with Something.

very good.....

I wasn’t able to get screenshots of them, but there were a couple text popups that really stood out to me. my memory is so bad I can’t remember all of them even though it was only this morning,,, but I’m pretty sure one of them had a popup that was just “Liar.” and I was like HM....

it just really had me thinking....

in my previous post, I mentioned that I had a gut feeling that the Something in the barn was supposed to represent Basil, not Mari. this kind of added fuel to that thought!

the barn in Otherworld was only used in the main route in reference to Basil, with it literally showing Omori a vision of him, and also having Stranger walking into it. now, the library also has a lot of connection to Basil! after picking up one of the keys, it shows us another vision of him, and it’s also littered with egret orchids. I don’t think choosing to have all of these Somethings in both of these places is just a coincidence.

now, about the “Liar.” line. in any fight with Something, if there’s a text popup meant to be Something speaking, it’s always done like this-

with the “???:” to indicate character speech. but the “Liar.” popup was just a standalone line. and it instantly reminded me of this room in black space-

and this just kept making my brain whirl.

in this room, there were all of these popups with “Liar.” and then of course there was-

see here how there also weren’t indications of who was saying ‘liar”, but there was for Something? my idea for this room was always that it was Omori repeating it to himself. because we all know by now that Something is Mari, and her saying “I love you”, especially in this form, is nothing but pure torment. and I think here, we have Omori unwilling to believe it. there’s no way Mari could love him/Sunny. she has to be lying.

soooo then, this brings me back to the library. having the “Liar.” popup there, keeping in consideration that the Somethings there might represent Basil, what could that mean?? it could be in reference to Basil’s words “Everything is going to be okay” because clearly everything is not okay. if all of these Somethings are meant to be Basil, it could fit!!!

... so there’s my long winded theory. idk! I think it makes sense, but I could be wrong!! that’s just my first impressions right now, maybe my thoughts will change when I play more!

moving onto the piano room-

this was when I thought “ohhhh so that’s why the wall always felt hallow. it all makes sense now”

and then I spent the next 30 or so minutes fighting all of the Somethings

I LOVED this. this was the first time a fight was put on a time limit, and since Something was so much more powerful, it felt actually stressful. I was stressed! but I managed to make it with 2-3 turns left, and I didn’t die. I did die about 1 or 2 times to arachnophobia and thalassophobia though F. but it’s okay because I got an achievement and also Omori’s suffocate skill is really good.

anyways I did some more mindless walking around (I had to kill time waiting for all my statues to be built, you know!)

this made me really happy. Big Molio I love you you’re the mvp and you deserve the world.

... looking through my screenshots I wish I could forget this one-

,, do I need to even explain it.

I remember a while ago, I saw someone on twitter post this and iirc the caption was something like “isn’t it a bit morbid to have the jumprope there” and, at the time, I had never gone through Orange Oasis, so seeing that tweet I had the wind knocked out of me. I was just sitting there like “fuuuuuuuuck”. and then I went through Orange Oasis today, saw it again, went “fuuuuuuuuck” and then forgot I screenshot it. it’s just a lot.

okay who knows how I filled the rest of the 6 hours I played because I didn’t take many screenshots of the downtime and running around completing sidequests I never did. the last point of interest today was I had went back to Humphrey.

I didn’t do too much, but I did fight Mutantheart.

I adore her!!!! so cute!!! Mutantheart my beloved.

I lost to her once, because I was a bit confused, but once I caught on to the gimmick of her fight, it was actually pretty easy. rest in peace, queen, I love you...

and then, uh. Her-

I tried 3 times. I didn’t win... all of the characters are maxed leveled at 50, but this is so difficult... well, the first half of the fight I found to be pretty easy, actually. but once she switches into full power mode it’s over. I don’t know how I’m supposed to win. farewell my dream of completing the foe facts book, it was a nice goal while it was realistic. 

and then I stopped for the day! I think I needed that month of not playing, because coming back into the game after a lot of my rage and burnout settled was probably best, and I had a lot of fun playing! hopefully it doesn’t take me another month to continue.

if you made it all the way through this post, thank you for reading! I hope you like my thoughts~

I’ll leave on this note-

king shit

[literaryeagle]

For my seventieth Evangelion book review, here is EVANGELION Millennials 2, published by Poplar Sha. This is a new mook (magazine-book hybrid) that came out just a few weeks ago, and as you can probably guess by the title, it is a sequel to the first EVANGELION Millennials (which I covered back in my sixty-sixth review). So this is another mook that is focused on fashion, which is why the cover art in the above image shows Tentative Name: Rei Ayanami wearing a hoodie over her plugsuit. Wow, she looks super stylish like that!

Of course, this publication has new looks for the other pilots as well. Check out this illustration of Asuka, Shinji, Rei, Kaworu, and Mari:

The pilots are wearing clothes from the RADIO EVA brand. Even the bandanna tied around Kaworu's right ankle is from RADIO EVA! By the way, this mook is not available in English or French (although there are a few little bits of English text here and there), but there are plenty of full color pictures. There are also some extra special goodies… more on that later. Keep reading for the rest of the book review, plus a few more pictures!

After the Table of Contents, this mook starts with a recap of the first three installments in the Evangelion New Theatrical Edition (AKA the “Rebuild” movies). This recap mainly consists of several pages of screenshots, accompanied by brief story descriptions and quotes from the movies. There are also a few trivia questions about the dialogue, plus some pics of the Eva pilots in their plugsuits.

The next section is the MAI YONEYAMA Drawn Illustration Collection, which showcases art that Mai Yoneyama has done for the RADIO EVA clothing brand, including the first two images shown in this review. And yes, the cute cover picture of Asuka and Shinji from the first EVANGELION Millennials is also in here!

This is followed by the EVANGELION GOODS 2020 section, which starts with a catalog of new stuff from RADIO EVA. As I explained in my review of the first EVANGELION Millennials, the RADIO EVA brand specializes in everyday wear, and many of their garments tend to reference Evangelion in a subtle way. For example, here is a dress that has flowers on one arm, with the Spear of Longinus embroidered among the flowers:

Usually I find that RADIO EVA's clothes are a bit too plain for my tastes, however I have to admit that dress is kind of cute. Good job, RADIO EVA!

For those who don't need subtlety and would rather express their love for Evangelion in a more overt way, RADIO EVA has a few things for that as well. For example, one of the items shown below is a tote bag that has a Mai Yoneyama illustration of the Eva pilots:

In the above image, the two items underneath the tote bag are subtle ones again. The first is a simple purple hair tie that says "NERV" (the purple color is supposed to represent Evangelion Unit-01), and the other is a red key ring (the color represents Asuka). Oh, and for those who prefer more character merchandise, at the bottom of that page is a figurine of Rei wearing RADIO EVA clothes.

Moving on, the next part of this mook is a catalog of some items from the Evangelion Store, including a mug and a T-shirt bearing the name of the next movie, Evangelion: 3.0 + 1.0 Thrice Upon a Time. After that, there is the OFFICIAL SHOP GUIDE section with pictures and info about various Evangelion shops in Japan. The stores are described in both Japanese and English, to make things easier for tourists... once it's safe to travel again, I guess. Sigh.

Next is the EVANGELION NEWS section, which covers some Eva-related merchandise, events, and exhibits. For example, one of the exhibits is a huge Evangelion Unit-01 in a pool of LCL, located in Kyoto. This Eva is so big that you can pose for a photo standing in the palm of her hand!

After the NEWS, there is a page promoting the Eva Extra mobile app, and then an advertisement for the Evangelion Battlefields mobile game. Here is the Evangelion Battlefields ad:

And finally, on the back cover of the mook, you can see poster art for the upcoming movie Evangelion: 3.0 + 1.0 Thrice Upon a Time. Yay! Sure, you've probably seen this image online already, but it's nice to actually own a physical copy! The picture shows Shinji standing on train tracks. Here it is:

Yes, Shinji is there. He's standing in the distance, so he's very tiny in that picture. As for the film's release date, as you've most likely heard by now the movie was originally supposed to come out a few months ago (June 2020), but unfortunately it had to be delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic. So the Japanese text at the bottom of the poster simply says "Kinjitsu Koukai" (Coming Soon). Sorry, folks. I know that's disappointing for many people, however it's understandable that safety should come first. Until then, I hope you all stay healthy and safe, so when the movie does come out we can get excited together!  (EDIT, March 2021: The movie's new release date is March 8, 2021!)

Anyway, that's it for the mook itself, which is only 35 pages long. But wait, we’re not done yet! As I mentioned before, some extra special goodies are included. The first item is a white T-shirt that says "The Beast", courtesy of RADIO EVA:

If you're wondering why "The Beast" is written backwards, it's because of Mari's words "Invert mode. Backdoor code... 'The Beast'!". So the designer was inspired by the words invert and back, get it? Well, that and I'm pretty sure the font is a reference to The Beatles. I would make a joke about playing the Evangelion movies backwards to listen for hidden messages, except that actually works in the Evangelion 2.0 movie, during the scene when the Dummy System is activated inside Unit-01! Seriously, it's creepy.

Anyway, getting back to the T-shirt, it's one size only, but of course people come in different shapes and sizes. So in case you're concerned about the fit, I have translated the shirt's measurements as stated in the mook...

Length: approximately 70 cm

Width: approximately 52 cm

Shoulder Width: approximately 46 cm

Sleeve Length: approximately 21 cm

Sleeve Width: approximately 19 cm

I hope that helps! Moving on, the second bonus item is a RADIO EVA sacoche (pouch) with a cross-body strap. It can carry small items, such as a wallet and/or mobile phone. Check it out:

In case it's not clear in the above photo, the pattern on the sacoche consists of Evangelion heads. Here's a closer look at the pattern, so you can see it better:

Overall, I think the best thing about EVANGELION Millennials 2 is Mai Yoneyama's illustrations. She has a good eye for detail, and I think she draws some great poses as well. However, most of RADIO EVA's clothes aren't really to my taste, so when it comes to fashion-related publications I prefer Mode EVANGELION and Mode EVANGELION2. That's just my personal opinion, though. If you love RADIO EVA, you'll probably find this mook a lot more interesting than I did. And that's cool! There are plenty of brands that make garments inspired by Evangelion, so it's nice that they cater to different preferences.

So if this mook (or the included goodies!) looks interesting to you, then please support the artists by purchasing it if you can! Check if your favorite source for buying Japanese books has it, and if not then ask them if they can order it for you. ^_^

Well, that’s it for my seventieth Evangelion book review. I have plenty more Evangelion books to discuss, so keep checking my blog for new reviews!

[supportivespaceforsurvivors]

tw: potential (c)sa, parental abuse, sex ment

[also: i sent this ask to the old advice blog but it was not recovered ig. i took 5 screenshots of my ask before i sent it but have been unable to fully extract the text from them. however i have now done so and added a tiny bit more. this is my biggest concern, and i checked the old blog every few hours at least for 2 weeks anxiously awaiting a response. it's ok if y'all can't get to this obv, but i feel like saying that i would really really prefer that this be answered sooner rather than later as i have been wanting a response to this since the moment i first sent it a month ago...]

i'm wondering if some things my dad did when i was a teen was actually csa. and am wondering if i have repressed memories of other contact csa from him because... around that time, i also started having the worst nightmares in which he would physically sexually abuse me, and have had them ever since- they have reoccurred for years and have been my only reoccurring dreams. i have wondered if he'd done something i couldn't remember... I started racking my brain for memories of that age recently (im 20 now), and realized some other non contact things he did could've actually been csa.

- when i was 15, me (afab) and my afab boyfriend would have sex in my room when he'd come over now and again. we'd sometimes lock my door but usually not as my parents would think that meant we were doing stuff (and i thought my dad would get mad)... it was still kinda obvious, but at least not that blatant ig... anyways. my dad would always knock on my door when we'd be doing stuff, for various reasons, and every single time he'd open the door and look directly at us in the eye. we'd rarely have time to get ourselves decent again, so we usually kept tops on. sometimes though we didn't and he even would do this when we were under the blanket with no clothes. it was obvious what we were doing but he still fucking did that. i had no privacy. now just the thought of looking him in the eyes, of even seeing his face, makes me want to scream and do violent things to him. [also nobody bothered to tell me how to do sexual things safely, which i'm now realizing was probably also neglect and maybe also SA. I was 15 and knew nothing...]

- he also drove me home from school everyday and shout/curse at me the entire car ride. my stepmom always came home hours later than we did, so he and i were alone then. everyday i'd run straight to my room as i was under an unbelievable amount of anxiety/distress constantly back then every moment of my life and needed time to be alone etc... he would every time follow me and come up to my door and start shouting again and bang on my door. eventually/soon he'd get too angry at talking to a door with no response ig and force his way in. i couldnt lock it bc he'd get that much worse if i did. when i did start locking it though, i'd sit there and always listen to him work it open for 30-60 sec. i didnt want him to fucking come in, so sometimes i would say "dont come in, im changing!!!" to stop him, but he almost always came in anyways. sometimes i would actually be changing then, bc it was after school and i wore a binder and pants etc... I always did so in my closet out of his sight because my privacy was never guaranteed. he never asked to come in just forced his way in without my consent. even if i said i was changing, even if i actually was changing. again, i was a small teen and he was an adult man and nobody else was around to stop him from doing literally anything he desired.

- he would constantly make a point of violating my personal space around then just bc he could bc he was the adult i was the kid and "you dont tell me what to fuckin do. ill do what i fuckin want." he'd stick his bare dirty feet inches from me on the couch when i had nowhere else to sit and he still chose to lay down flat, and when i sat on the chair next to the couch he'd put his feet up on the sides of the chair in my face. he also stuck his elbow far onto my side of the car everyday always, despite me asking him to move it so i didnt have to fear him touching my arm. [i'm also autistic and have an extreme touch aversion, even before he knew i was autistic he knew this was an issue i had and greatly distressed me. he knew i had anxiety, ptsd, and depression and was in therapy for years.] [also it may be worth mentioning that i am more averse to touching him than any other human being ever. i haven't been able to hug him or say "ily" or aaaanything since before he took me in 7 years ago. he makes fun of me for yelping, screeching, etc whenever his arm brushes up against me for example. and fucking STILL touches me occasionally on purpose to get a rise out of me and then make fun of me. or touches me and pretends like it was "on accident" when i think he just wanted any excuse to touch his child, who has been utterly disgusted by him for nearly a decade...]

i still live with him (although am currently staying with a friend because i needed to get away from him; im terrified to go back tbh...). hes slightly better now but i still am extremely traumatized by him (he did MUCH MUCH more but this is just the personal space/potential SA things). i hate this. anyway. i know this is all not ok and was abuse. i also know i could Not be repressing more csa memories, i don't need to be told that. (nor do i want advice on how to cope with any of this.) my main concern is that: was any of this csa? could i have also been sexually abused in a contact sense and repressing it too? the nightmares affected me so much and were so vivid always. they could just be symbolic of him invading my privacy but its fucking weird that its always specifically sexual (contact) and again reoccurring for years.

Hey anon. I'm sorry it took so long for us to answer this. Originally a different mod claimed it and then everyone's lives got super busy and by then they realized they didn't really know how to.

What your dad did definitely sounds like a violation of your privacy and emotional and verbal abuse.

When it comes to your bolded question: It's possible that some of his behavior had sexual connotations to it, but we weren't there and without having been there it's really hard to tell you if it was abuse or not, because these things aren't as cut and dry as we sometimes hope they are.

It's possible that you were sexually abused by him and are repressing it, but ultimately there's no way to know for sure if you are repressing something unless you remember it, and we aren't in a position where we can tell if you are repressing something.

I would highly suggest you talk to a professional about this if you are able.

Good luck,

Mod Devyn

[letsbeoutoftouch]

Three days ago, I decided to start watching one of the Chinese dramas that had been sitting on my Netflix to-watch list for as long as I use it: 'A Love So Beautiful'.

I was (am) really excited over the Korean version because the FL is So Joo Yeon, whom I love since I watched 'Romantic Doctor Teacher Kim 2' last year―she's adorable!

However, I knew that the Korean version was a remake, so I figured I should start with the Chinese one first. Besides, a few years ago one of my ex-friends told me I should watch it, and she has a pretty good taste in dramas... So, well―I succumbed. And, oh my! I'm so glad I did!

· · ·

'A Love So Beautiful' is a coming of age drama, which depicts the lives of five friends as from the moment they meet in high school up to adulthood, and how they learn about love, friendship and life in general. It especially revolves around Chen Xiaoxi (Shen Yue, from 'Meteor Garden') and Jiang Chen (Hu Yi Tian, from 'Unrequited Love').

· · ·

♡ PLOT & EPISODES:

It is a really light-hearted drama, and its plot is uncomplicated. It is ideal for when you are in the mood for something that doesn't have twists and turns, and/or whose plot doesn't require a great effort to follow. If you feel like watching a drama like that, then I really recommend you to start this one.

Although it's made up of 23 episodes (and one special episode), they are approximately 40-minutes long each. Therefore, I didn't feel that they were tiresome to watch. Also, as a person who gets distracted quite easily ―I have the attention span of a goldfish―, I must emphasise that I didnt pause it at all―except, maybe, to go and grab some snacks... And to post that screenshot with a reference to Argentina, lol.

· · ·

♡ CHARACTERS:

Xiaoxi (FL): This character is a well-known one in dramaland―the typical female lead who is really (and when I say really, I mean extremely, blindly) in love with the male lead, no matter his actions or the words that leave his mouth.

I normally find this type of character annoying (yes, I'm looking at you, Nao). I find it painful to watch that she keeps resiliently following the male lead, even when he is continuously humilliating her. Of course, if you keep in mind that she is a teenager, then you may be able to understand the way she behaves―we were all a little bit like that during our younger years... Or, at least, I know I was. However, that's hard to remember when the story depicts her to be neither a teenager nor an adult, although she is supposed to be the former. By this I don't mean that teenagers can't go through situations that may force them to 'grow up' quickly, but stuff like 'living alone with my classmate' is not a normal situation for a teen (especially, with their parents consent ¿¿¿¿¿)―that's more adult-ish.

Anyways, back to Xiaoxi.

When I think about my younger self, I think she might ―in some points― relate to Xiaoxi. Why? That's simple―because she truly acts like a teenager. For her, the problems she faces are like the end of the world, and deals with them as (most) young people would.

Amongst those problems, love is obviously included. She's devoted to the love she feels, and doesn't waver. She's always true to her feelings and to her heart―sometimes, a little too much for my liking. However, her genuiness and stubborness are two of the traits I liked the most about her.

But Xiaoxi is not entirely naïve―not all the time, at least. She stood her ground in some parts of the story, as a teenager and, mostly, as an adult. I must admit that one kick was amazing―I was lying in bed and I literally had to sit up and scream 'APLICADÍSIMA' (an Argentinian slang that, in this context, could be translated as 'nicely done').

▫ ▫ ▫

Jiang Chen (ML): Yet another typical character in dramas. He's one of those guys who barely speaks, looks serious 24/7 and, the most important thing, has feelings but is unable to show them most of the time.

I'm not going to deny that people like that do exist in real life (now that I think about it, I may be like that irl, lol), but the real problem is how they are portrayed in dramas. I mean, the fact that a person gathers all those characteristics within them does not equal to being an a*shole (again, I'm so looking at you, Uehara).

Jian Chen sometimes acts like an a*shole, I'm not going to deny that. He mostly acts like that out of jealousy, which doesn't make it right. However, he's continuously growing out of that behaviour (maybe not so much out of jealousy 🙃), and that's what I liked about this character. Even if his character doesn't entirely lose his true essence (being serious is not a bad trait per se, just to name something), it was refreshing to see that, when he's with her, he wouldn't act like he doesn't care about her at all.

▫ ▫ ▫

Wu Bosong (SML): Oh, dear. He's the sweetest. For real.

I'm not the kind of person who usually falls for the second male lead (for example, in Heirs I was always team Kim Tan, although everyone loved Young Do and shipped Eun Sang with him). However, this time, I found myself falling for Bosong really, really hard.

His character is yet another cliché―the sweet boy who's always helping the FL and has to be content with watching her from the sidelines. However, his kind and tender nature slowly captured my heart.

*spoiler alert* It broke my soul that the story was unfair to him―he deserved way better. Not only romantically speaking―all the scenes where his grandma doesn't recognise him were so, so heartbreaking. I know life isn't fair, but it is a drama! Don't make the poor boy suffer that much 😭.

However, even though I loved this character a lot, I ―by no means― shipped him and Xiaoxi. He deserved someone who would give him their entire heart―and, let's face it, Xiaoxi would never grow out of her love for Jian Chen. *end of spoiler alert*

· · ·

♡ FRIENDSHIP:

As far as I'm concerned, most people are only interested in the romantic side of dramas ―which is fine, of course―, but I'm adding this item because it was seriously one of the things I enjoyed the most about this drama.

The chemistry between the five of them is awesome. Sometimes, it's not just about how nicely the leads are to each other―I think that portraying a great friendship is equally important. After all, life is not just about romantic love―it's about all the other kinds of love, as well.

It was sweet that they not only grew up together, but also that they stayed friends even if they had other things going on in their lives. They were unconditional to each other, but that didn't just stayed in high school―it followed them to their adult lives. They still tried to find the time to meet, even if they were busy (*spoiler alert* Xiaoxi's fansigning! *end of spoiler alert*), and supported and had each other's back no matter what.

I liked how friendship was one of the main topics in the drama.

· · ·

♡ SUMMARY:

If you're looking for a cute and light coming-of-age drama (and you don't mind a school drama―i.e., dealing with the fact that they are teenagers during most of it), then A Love So Beautiful is the one for you.

Also, if you haven't ever seen a Chinese drama (and you're up to a drama with the characteristics abovementioned), then I recommend you start with this one. It's not boring, chapters are relatively short (40-minutes-long episodes are considerably shorter than Korean drama's one-hour ones).

The acting was great (again, bear in mind that the characters are teenagers!), the chemistry between the leads was good, and, if you're like me, you'll enjoy the chemistry between the entire group (*spoiler alert* although Bosong and Jian Cheng are ready to throw hands at each other like 99% of the time *end of spoiler alert*).

If you have some time, I highly recommend you to watch it!

I'm leaving the trailer here, if you want to check it out:

A Love So Beautiful is available on NETFLIX, VIKI and YOUTUBE!

· · ·

I hope you liked this 'review'. I wanted to write one since I finished the drama, but I have been busy studying for my finals.

Sending lots of love during these weird times ♡

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

Wicked Game

Another round of the 5sos fic writing collab brought to you by @maluminspace​ and @h0tsos​. There are so many amazing writers involved and I highly recommend checking out the event master list linked below. Thank you to the Sagittarius sorceress  @sexgodashton​ for being very caring, patient, and kind while helping me tame this monster.  Massive shout out to @ghostofmashton​ for the photo edits, especially Ashton’s eye. that’s my favorite. You’re a rock star. Texas girls forever, love you to bits!

Event Master List

Prompt: Chef AU with Cashton

Dialogue Prompt: “Kissing you is all I’ve thought about since the moment we met” First person to spot it in the fic and send me a screenshot gets a personalized blurb request.

Word Count: 20K+ Team Long Winded Bitch strikes again, this will be posted in multiple parts over the next couple of days. This first part is about 5K

Rating: 18+ Slash fic Strong language, alcohol and drug use, and a misogynistic and racist comment. Sexual scenes including masturbation, toys, voyeurism, oral, and anal sex.

Summary: Ashton is ready to move on with his life after his painful divorce from Luke and the demise of the restaurant they’d built together. With the help of his protegee and sous chef Hima Singh, Ashton is ready to take on opening weekend of his new restaurant Anne-Marie’s. Calum is a reporter filling in on an assignment and is surprised when his past comes back to haunt him. Hima arranges an interview that takes an unexpected turn between the two men.

Part 1

"Great job, guys, we couldn't have had a better opening weekend. Thank you so much for making it happen," Ashton told the two staff members in the kitchen who'd closed as he unlocked the back door.

"No problem boss, glad to be here. We made money this weekend. See ya tomorrow," DeSean told him as he left.

Ashton locked the door behind them and walked out into the empty dining room, his steel-toed boots echoing heavily on the distressed blonde faux hardwood floors. He stopped to adjust a few tables, double-checking sightlines and looking over the layout of the tables. The upside-down chair legs cast long shadows in the soft pink neon glow. 

He looked up at the sign above the bar that read "Anne-Marie's." He smiled, not caring if anyone thought it was cheesy to name his restaurant after his mother.  His mom had always been his lucky star, and he couldn't have gotten through the last couple of years without her. 

"You look so serious,' a voice behind him startled him out of his thoughts.

"What the fuck Hima," Ashton yelped, clutching his chest dramatically. "I thought you were still in the kitchen." 

"The guys didn't leave me anything to do so I decided to change and have a drink with you before my brother gets here," she tossed her bag and chef's coat onto a stool grinning at Ashton. She hopped up to sit on the bar before swinging her legs around as she pushed off. Landing without a wobble she reached under the bar and grabbed a bottle of black label Bushmill's Irish Whiskey and two short glasses. 

"Straight for the good stuff, I like the way you think," Ashton smirked, taking a seat at the bar. 

"To simply mark the occasion, of course" she poured them each a shot before adding a splash of water.  She raised her glass, "Cheers to you, Boss, and to Anne-Marie's." 

They clinked glasses. "Couldn't have done it without you," he replied before taking a sip.

"Awwwwww thanks Ashtton, " she grinned at him. "Damn that's good, the whiskey makes me forgive the Irish for how dreadful Guinness is. Did you see Kevin Mackie snuck in last night? I expect a write up in the Metro on Tuesday and I know you saw Patricia Bennett," she rolled her eyes at the name.

"She makes herself hard to miss," he snorted. "I missed Mackie though. Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Because we were busy and I didn't have time for you to get all giggly and nervous. He got the crab puffs and the Mac and Brie and inhaled them. You were right about the nutmeg; I thought he was going to lick the plate."  She opened two bottles of beer before hopping back over the bar and taking a seat next to Ashton. 

"How did this weekend compare to the opening of ‘Lune Rouge’? Was it as good as the first time?" Hima finished her whiskey before shaking a pack of Camel Crush cigarettes out of her bag. 

"If you get ashes on the bar Paloma will flip her shit," Ashton warned. 

"I'm not afraid of her," Hima snipped, but she made sure to be careful. No sense in antagonizing their temperamental main bartender. 

"This opening was definitely smoother than the first one. We didn't know what the hell we were doing. The first night we ran out of duck fat and gorgonzola before the dinner rush was over. My sous chef's sister had to run to Whole Foods for emergency supplies. We got lucky the press ignored us for a couple weeks until we got a little buzz going. This time I knew what to expect but there was also more pressure," he paused, taking a pull on the bottle of beer. "This time I  expected to succeed right out of the gate." 

"You succeeded there," Hima stubbed her cigarette out in her empty glass. "I really need to quit." 

"You could get a puff bar and start vaping," he teased.

"I'm not a fucking junior varsity cheerleader. I can take my cancer like a big girl." She checked her phone. "Ugh it's almost nine, and it's gonna take me at least thirty minutes to get home. You're closing tomorrow with me right?" 

"Yeah, I'll be in around 11 all this week. Rafi is handling brunch with Gloria but I want to be here," Ashton double-checked his phone. "Tuesday I have that interview with Men's Life and they just emailed me." 

Hima saw his nose scrunch up as he read.  "What's wrong?" 

"I thought they were sending Taj, but instead of rescheduling the interview, they're sending Calum Hood," Ashton sneered. 

"Chill dude, it's not that bad," Hima was confused by the venom in his voice. "Yeah he's a bit of a goof, but he's hot and not a pretentious dickhead. They could've sent Felipe." 

"True, true," he grumbled as he saw a black Honda pull up outside. "Kabir is here." 

"Shit, ok see you tomorrow, Boss," she grabbed her stuff, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and ran out the door, locking it behind her. 

Ashton walked through once again. He made sure the lights were off in the employee lounge. Since many of his staff members used public transport or worked two jobs, Rafi had convinced Ashton to provide his staff with a decent place to take a break and get ready before or after work.  He built a small shower stall, lockers, and provided clean towels, and as his new kitchen manager, Rafi took responsibility for maintaining the space. Ashton took a last look at the bar, double-checking for any stray ashes Hima might have missed before setting the alarm, locking up, and heading home. 

Calum opened the email from his editor and swore loud enough to wake the scruffy brown terrier mix snoozing at his feet.

Hey Cal,

Sorry it's such short notice but Taj's mom had an emergency and I need you to cover for him. He's interviewing Ashton Irwin, remember him? He had the Lune Rouge a few years ago. Well, he's got a new place, diverse staff and we're doing a feature. Maybe even the cover if he's really pretty. Tuesday at 2 pm I'll send you the address and details after I talk to Taj. Oh, and my friend Nick is coming into town and I told him you'd show him around. It's been a while since you had a date but you'll like him. He's kinda short, but he's got big muscles, huge dick, perfect credit. You could do a lot worse.

Call me tomorrow

Sham

This isn't good, this isn't good. Calum's mind was racing. He rubbed his temples trying to think. Taj was notoriously reliable and responsible, so if he was taking off on short notice, it must be serious. It was just his bad luck it was Ashton Irwin. 

He usually covered travel and sports for Men's Life while Taj handled food and fashion. Calum didn't mind taking back food and dining for the time being. He'd started in that industry, working as a line cook while he went to school for journalism. He'd quit both when a flirty, older professor recommended him for an internship at California Culture and he managed to land a real job. Professor Davis had been highly disappointed to lose him as a student and catch him making out with her son who went to the same college. He'd found a tiny shitty apartment, spent his life on the road for work, and sent every penny he didn't need to live on to his family. He didn't even date for the longest time until he met a handsome blonde with sharp features and a sharper tongue.

He couldn't remember if it was four years ago or five, but he clearly recalled his review of Lune Rouge had not been nice. Calum was in a toxic relationship with the restaurant's sous chef at the time. He'd let his personal life spill over into his work for the first and only time. It wasn't something Calum was proud of and while he felt he owed Ashton an apology, the right time and place hadn't presented itself yet. He'd run into Ashton twice since then. The first time he was with his husband, and Calum wasn't about to humble himself in front of Luke. The second encounter came not long after their marriage broke up. Calum was dating a photographer at the time, when Ashton came to the photographer’s art show. They were briefly introduced but Ashton's chilly demeanor discouraged any further conversation, so Calum avoided him the rest of the evening. He remembered being unable to stop staring at the handsome chef with the sad eyes. He'd always hoped they'd bump into each other under better circumstances. I guess an interview will have to do.

********

Ashton sat out on his condo balcony overlooking Echo Park, taking in the night air and enjoying a second bottle of IPA. Hima was right, the opening had been a smash. Anne-Marie's had the best staff he'd ever had the pleasure of working with, and aside from a small mix up between gruyere and Havarti cheese, the opening had been smooth. The alcohol hummed in his veins as he allowed his mind to wander back five years. 

Lune Rouge's opening had been a chaotic mess of brilliance, balls, and blind luck. He was a year out of culinary school, newly married, and ecstatically in love with his husband. Luke was a trust fund baby; his dad ran a major studio. He put up the funding for their restaurant which procured a prime spot in trendy West Hollywood. Ashton had the idea of taking traditional French cuisine and turning it into "pub grub." Luke created a kitschy tacky cool interior with the ambiance of fairy light curtains, vintage 90's movie posters, an eye-popping pink and aqua come scheme.  Featuring a bartender who doubled as a DJ, the restaurant became an immediate hot spot.  

 The culinary press treated them like rock stars and it went to their head.  Ashton was portrayed as the mysterious boy genius, boisterous and foul-mouthed, he ran the back of the house, oversaw the business and created the menu. Luke, who's blonde-haired blue-eyed good looks were regularly described as "angelic", was the frontman, often schmoozing in the dining room, taking song requests, or slinging drinks behind the bar. They worked so well together until they didn't. 

Ashton shook his head, not allowing himself to linger on negative thoughts, not when he'd fought to regain balance. He'd spent the last year freeing himself from the wreckage of his partnership with Luke. Still, tonight after the opening, alone and overlooking the city lights, his mind kept going back to the exhilaration of that first opening night. After they stayed late with the crew for a drink to celebrate, Luke's hand wandered up Ashton's thigh causing him to almost choke on his tequila. Soon Luke started whining about all the paperwork he had to do before they could go home. The crew quickly bagged it out of there, not wanting to get roped into more work. 

Ashton swallowed at the memory before glancing around at the other balconies. It was late enough most of his neighbors should be asleep. Already hard, he reached down and squeezed his bulge through the thin fabric of his pajama pants. 

After letting everyone else out of Lune Rouge that first night he'd been puzzled to find Luke no longer at the bar. He heard noises coming from the office. When he opened the door, he found his husband, shirtless, and waiting for him. 

Ashton slid his hand into his pants swiping his thumb across the leaking tip. He heard a sliding glass door open and froze in place until he realized it was his neighbor below him chatting on the phone. He stroked himself and let his mind wander back to Luke. It had been too long since Ashton got laid, and Luke was still the best sex he'd ever had. He shuddered and bit his lip thinking about the way Luke grinned at him as he opened the office door. Before Ashton could say a word, Luke was sinking to his knees. A bit awkward given his long legs, but it didn't take long before he was letting Ashton fuck his throat. The thought of those blue eyes looking up at him as Ash's hands tangled in those blonde curls caused a moan to slip out, and his neighbor stopped talking at the sound. 

"I think somebody is having sex," he heard her whisper. He almost laughed. 

His dick was twitching flat against his stomach as he ducked back inside his bedroom, kicked off his pants, and grabbed a small tube of lube. Ashton shut off the light and stepped back outside. 

The breeze cooled his fevered skin as he stood there looking out at the city and stroking his dick. The idea that he could possibly be seen turned him on almost as much as his trip down memory lane.  He swallowed another moan thinking about how Luke's lips felt against his, their tongues tangled until he pulled back looking at Ashton with mischief and love before giving him a wink and turning around. 

Ashton's breath caught in his throat as he worked his cock thinking about it. The red and white striped pants his husband pranced around in that night had been blissful torment working him up until the moment he slid those pants down and bent over the desk.

"Come take what's yours, my love, I've been wanting you all night," he cooed, wiggling his hips. 

Luke was a whiny boy when he was getting pounded, and the memory sent Ashton closer to the edge. He felt his knees tremble as he increased his speed, the city lights becoming starbursts in his vision as he edged himself closer. At the moment of release, he swore he could feel Luke pushing back against him taking him in as deep as he could go. 

When Ashton opened his eyes, he found himself sweaty and streaked with his own seed. He was amazed he'd managed to stay quiet, but his neighbor was chatting away obliviously. He went back inside, cracked another beer, and took it with him into the shower, trying to focus on his day tomorrow.

 It was after midnight by the time he went to bed. His body was exhausted but the adrenaline from the opening weekend hadn't quite worn off. He found himself still restless and playing on his phone. After scrolling through Instagram, he found himself looking at the page belonging to the Galway Grill-- Ashton cringed at the name-- an Irish pub and microbrewery very recently opened by Luke and his boyfriend Finn. 

Ashton simmered with resentment perusing the menu; they'd recycled at least half of the Lune Rouge recipes, his creations. He'd heard they'd rushed their opening to launch the week before Anne-Marie's, and even with Daddy's deep pockets the decor looked slapped together, all flash no class. He came to a picture of the happy couple and couldn't help but notice how thin and tired Luke looked despite his huge smile. He felt a twinge of concern for his ex before pushing his phone away in disgust. Rolling out of bed, he headed to the bathroom and fished an orange prescription bottle out of the cabinet. He broke a valium in half and swallowed the smaller piece with a gulp of water straight from the faucet. He scrolled through different sounds on his phone before settling on crashing waves. He spent the next ten minutes stretching and practicing deep breathing to push out any lingering negativity and troubling thoughts. It was too late to drag up the past and there was nothing to be gained. Ashton crawled back under the duvet and sank into a deep sleep dreaming of blue eyes.

*********

Hima rolled into work a little after one, pleased to see a decent lunch crowd and multiple delivery orders going out. She ordered a chicken mojito wrap for her lunch and headed back to the office to find Ashton. She found him in his chair with his laptop open on his desk, a notebook in his lap while scrolling through his phone. 

"So what's the Monday morning report, Boss?" She asked, taking a seat across from him. 

Ashton was beaming as he spun the laptop around to show her. "We made 30% over our projected sales. We came in right at payroll, actually a little under if you can believe that." 

"I've checked the reservation book," she responded, flashing her phone. "We're booked solid for dinner Friday and Saturday and will call is 3 pm-7 pm. We're probably going to have to do that all week." 

"Whatever you need. This weekend is going to be bonkers. If you have any suggestions, I'd like to do something for the staff. That reminds me, I've got to talk to Maisie." He scribbled down a quick note.

"She's already on it," Hima laughed. "The servers who struggled are coming in for extra training with her and Dakota. I have no doubt she'll straighten them up or ship them out."  

Ashton nodded as Daniel knocked on the office door to bring their lunch. 

"How's it going out there? Let us know if you need anything," Ashton told him.

"We've got this, Boss, enjoy your lunch," Daniel closed the door behind him.

"He's Rafi's brother?" Hima asked before taking a big bite. 

"Cousin, Gloria is his sister," Ashton replied tucking into his roasted corn and quinoa salad with queso fresco. 

"Are you ready for this interview tomorrow? You look tired," Hima looked concerned. 

"I am tired," he shrugged. "I just wanna get this over with. I'm thrilled we're doing so well, but that's not what the press wants to talk about." 

"Don't think about it like that. Anne-Marie's will stand on her own. You've just gotta get through this week. I know it's a lot," her words were half-muffled by a napkin.

"Tomorrow is the worst of it. Mackie called and is available Tuesday at one or Thursday for dinner around four. Since he's already been here for dinner, I thought I'd let Rafi wow him this time," he told her.

"Good idea, try to keep it short because if he drinks he gets super chatty. He gave a lecture at school and came to the bar afterward; he would not shut up," she warned.

"Chatty bastard, got it," he replied and they both laughed. 

Anne-Marie's was his restaurant, but he couldn't have done it without Hima.  She was fresh out of culinary school working as a line cook at the Hilton when he'd discovered her a little over a year ago. Ashton only lasted four months before chafing under the corporate yoke and deciding to strike out on his own. She'd been the first person he'd hired for the restaurant, guaranteeing her first year's salary out of his own pocket. Rafi and DeSean were excellent managers for the kitchen, but Hima was a coach: she understood the business as a whole. He'd let her handle most of the press and promotion, and she'd scored two big interviews.

Gourmet Table had interviewed him last Thursday The piece wouldn't be that in-depth, but they'd spent three hours photographing food. He expected the Men's Life article to focus more on him and his personal life. Calum Hood was known for his sharp pen and take-no-prisoners style.  He'd given Lune Rouge two stars and a biting review during a brief stint at California Culture before he'd become known. It was five years ago, but Ashton still had the clipping somewhere. Calum had branded Lune's food as tasty and imaginative but thought the presentation was lacking in creativity. He'd ripped into the decor, calling it "somewhere between art house and frat house," and labeled Luke and Ashton "spoiled pretty boys pretending to be chefs." Luke had brushed it off with a laugh, but it still bothered Ashton. 

Unlike the Hemmings’, Ashton’s family didn't have money to throw around. He'd started at sixteen, washing dishes and peeling vegetables for Chef François at Bordeaux on Hollywood. He'd taken culinary classes after high school while working full time. Sadly, Chef François had a heart attack and retired around the time he met Luke. 

"You're not listening again," Hima complained, licking her fingers. "Rafi killed it with this wrap. The chicken is amazing, but the cucumber-mint salad and the tamarind chili mayo are next fucking level." 

"You're right, I'm not. Sorry about that," he pushed his plate aside.

"Ok, what's got you so rattled? You've handled the press like a champ up until now. Is it Mackie or Hood? Who needs to catch these hands?" Hima stood and assumed a fighter's stance, bouncing on her toes. 

"Easy there killer, I can defend my own honor. Mackie is an irritating little mosquito. He just wants gossip, but he's got enough readers so we all have to kiss his ass. Hood gave me one of the few bad reviews we got at Lune, and it stuck. He called us frat boys and said we were trying too hard," Ashton rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed by saying it out loud. 

Hima raised her eyebrows and smirked, "I love it when you're petty. You're always so perfect and Zen, it's annoying." 

"My therapist would disagree. Oh shit, that reminds me," he straightened up in his chair and grabbed his phone. "I've got an appointment at 2:30. I'll be back before 4," he dropped his eyes to the floor. 

"Ashton," her voice was soft but commanding, and he looked up. "I don't know what's going on, and if you don't want to tell me that's fine. I want you to take care of yourself, whatever that takes. Ok?" He nodded and she smiled, "You can tell Dr. Claire that I've confirmed her for 8 pm Saturday, and you're going to personally cook her dinner. We've got the 50th anniversary that night so maybe you could flex and make your Pavlova's? I'll get the berries myself." 

"It's a deal; we can comp them champagne, too. I'd better get going before I get yelled at. She's a stickler for punctuality, I think it's a British thing."  

"I'll hold things down until you get back," Hima gathered up the dishes and headed out with Ashton right behind her. 

*********

Ashton drew a deep breath and exhaled through his nose as the reporter settled in the chair across from him.  Kevin Mackie's column in L.A. Metro was the definitive opinion for restaurants on the West Coast. His readers loved the snarky tone, celeb sightings, and bitchy gossip that peppered his column. His reviews could make or break new restaurants. 

"Let me start off by saying I love the decor of this place. It's rustic, but not in that played out, hipster-in-the-woods nonsense," he leaned in and lowered his voice towards the end of the comment with a coy smirk. 

"You'll find no Mason jars here," Ashton replied, taking the bait. Kevin liked people who liked him, and his most recent column was a snarky takedown of "Pinterest style interiors." Ashton found the article tedious and uninspired, but there was no need to be antagonistic right out of the gate. 

Ashton watched as the reporter ordered his lunch from their server Zia. He guessed Kevin to be in his forties, and he thought he could see fresh hair plugs, bleached blonde, and a bit of Botox. Rumor had it, he'd recently split with his long-time girlfriend over a fling with a much younger waiter. Ashton tried not to pay attention to industry gossip. However, his personal problems made their way into the column more than once, and he couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of satisfaction at the other man's problems. 

After they'd both ordered, Kevin sat back and took a sip of his Pellegrino water and smacked his lips. "I was here the other night and I have to admit I was prepared to be underwhelmed. A menu based on sandwiches and comfort food sounded like an upscale Applebee's, but I really liked it despite myself. I was surprised to see your main girl was on the mature side, but she's efficient as hell so I get the trade-off." 

Ashton's body tensed at the insult to Maisie, and he took a deep breath. Exhaling through his nose he forced a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Kevin was prattling on with some bit of gossip as Ashton sipped on his iced coffee. 

"So let's start with something simple and ease our way into the rough stuff," Kevin set his voice recorder on the table between them. "Tell me how you formulated your top-secret house coffee blend." 

Ashton broke into a wide grin as he described taking two months to travel and sample different beans, learn more about the roasting and blending process. Kevin sipped his coffee and nodded as if deep in thought, but his eyes kept wandering to Ashton's biceps. He'd been baking this morning so he smelled of cinnamon, his black t-shirt damp and clingy from sweating under his chef coat.

"So we sell the house blend all year, but we have single-source coffee that's seasonal, all of it fair trade," Ashton finished proudly. 

"Coffee has always been your thing if I remember correctly," Kevin said.

"True, true, and once I started roasting my own beans it became a true obsession." 

Kevin followed it up with a couple more softball questions about menu details and sandwiches. Ashton expounded on his love of food. "Cooking for someone is a simple way to show care, to be enjoyed almost as much as dining should be. Food is caring and comfort; it sustains us. It brings people together in a shared experience."

 "Ooh that's a nice pull quote," Mackie chuckled. "I love when y'all have media training. It makes the bullshit flow much smoother.

Ashton seethed but said nothing. He'd watched this man's pettiness wreck a good opening, and Ashton couldn't do that to his crew. Zia brought their lunch. Ashton noticed Kevin had also ordered the chicken mojito wrap. 

"This looks delicious. I think it's a nice touch that you've got so much, let's say diversity, in your restaurant. That you're actually letting them make their own food makes your menu more interesting. Not all restaurants get it. Please tell me you've seen how horribly Finn ripped you off for that tacky Irish pub," Kevin glanced up at him a tiny smirk playing on

"I haven't paid any attention to that," Ashton wanted to end the interview right there. 

"Oh come on, you've had to see how much he's trying to recreate the magic you and Luke once had. The menu is tired, I don't give a fuck if he is Irish. Finn has no imagination yet fancies himself an impresario. Luke's still got it though. He even asked when I was coming here. I didn't tell him of course, I'm a professional after all." 

"Of course," Ashton nodded checking out of the conversation. The reporter talked as he ate which given the wrap he was eating proved especially messy and little flecks of food kept flying his way. Ashton watched the door, nodding at customers, silently willing someone to come and save him. Kevin was still talking about himself when Hima and Zia came out of the kitchen. Ashton tried to catch their eye when he felt a hand on his arm. 

"I wanna ask you about that one," Kevin leaned in so he could almost whisper.

"Who? Hima? What about her?" Ashton was pretty sure he wasn't going to like the answer. 

"What's the deal? I've only ever seen you with Luke. Did your palette change that much? India must've been a real spiritual awakening for you huh?" Kevin winked at him, thinking he was clever. 

Ashton controlled his breathing trying to keep his temper in check. He looked over at the reporter who kept talking oblivious to the situation. 

"Who doesn't like trying something exotic. She seems like a smart cookie. She's darker than most Indian girls you see, like a rich brown butter sauce. I bet she tastes like tumeric though." 

"Get out of my restaurant" Ashton hissed, his hands gripping the table to restrain himself from physical violence. "You are not going to insult my staff, my friends, in their restaurant." 

Kevin started to speak but Ashton cut him off.

"Not another fucking word" he kept his voice at a low growl so as not to cause a scene. He noticed a couple of the closest tables were already watching them. "You've said enough and I'm barely holding back as it is. Get out of my restaurant, don't ever come back, don't ever speak to me again, and if you trash me in this review I promise you I will find you and fuck you up personally." Ashton stood up and Kevin flinched, the sight would have made him laugh if he hadn't been so furious. He stepped back and the reporter scrambled out of his seat leaving his lunch unfinished. Ashton walked back into the kitchen, Hima fast on his heels. He kicked the door open to the break room and headed for the speed bag hanging in the corner. He'd learned the hard way punching walls usually resulted in the wall winning the fight so he'd given himself something easier on his hands. 

Hima watched him from the door, his back and biceps rippling as he went two minutes at full speed. When he finally turned around she could see the anger had cooled somewhat. She hated that her boss looked incredibly sexy when he was angry. 

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?" She asked when he turned back around. 

"Nope, it'll just piss me off all over again, and I gotta get ready for another fucking interview. With a guy who already doesn't like me," Ashton put this coat back on and headed into the line to check on Rafi. 

At least the second interview can't be worse, she thought, wishing she believed it. 

*********

Calum eased his beat up Range Rover into the parking lot of Anne-Marie's amongst the Mercedes, Audi's, and Teslas. He cursed the traffic when he checked the time. He was late, and they were busy. Not a good look he thought, grabbing his bag. 

He smiled at the ladies waiting for a table before introducing himself to the impossibly serene hostess. He was quickly led to a table in an alcove not far from the kitchen. As he pulled out his voice recorder and notebook, he noticed a young woman heading his way. Her black hair was knotted tightly in a bun on top of her head, and her chef's coat had a large streak of what might be hollandaise sauce. He remembered his editor, Jacqueline, telling him Anne-Marie's had a female sous chef. He checked the notes she'd given him quickly as she was stopped by a server. Hima, Culinary Institute of America graduate, 23, Indian maybe? 

"Hello I'm Hima Singh, you must be Calum Hood," she greeted him. From up close, he noticed that her eyes were a rich golden brown and that her smile didn't reach her eyes. He chalked it up to her youth; his editor said she was 23 but she looked like a teenager. He mentally stopped himself there. He'd become jaded by one too many husband/wife teams in recent years trying to rebrand a post-divorce startup as a "new adventure." While the divorce was true, Calum knew Ashton's history.

"Yup that's me, it's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Hima," he shook her hand, relieved to see her relax a bit. 

"Chef Irwin will be out shortly. He's helping with a problem in the back" she glanced towards the kitchen, and Calum had a feeling she was lying.

"Can I get you something while you wait? Do you like coffee? We have a house blend cold brew Chef Irwin selected himself that we roast and grind on-site," she asked motioning towards the sign listing the daily selection of teas and coffee. 

"Thanks, but maybe not coffee. I'm nervous enough without more caffeine," he admitted, "but the lavender and blackberry infused lemonade sounds amazing." He smiled and her face softened. 

"Absolutely," she signaled to Zia who brought Calum his drink and a basket of warm, fluffy yeast rolls with Anne Marie's cinnamon honey butter. The smell reminded Calum he'd skipped breakfast as his stomach began to rumble. 

"So you're Chef Irwin's sous chef? I heard a rumor you were a partner as well," he asked, almost drooling as he tore into the soft bread, watching the steam escape. 

"Yes sir," Hima's smile finally reached her eyes, and she sat down across from him. "When he got his core team together for Anne Marie's, there's three of us total. Desean and Rafi are his kitchen managers, and he gave us the opportunity to buy in as minority investors, no pun intended." 

"These rolls are incredible. Please take one before I finish this whole basket and ruin my lunch. How long have the three of you worked for Ashton, excuse me, Chef Irwin?" He asked.

"Desean and Rafi were part of his Lune Rouge crew. They go way back, but he met me fresh out of school and took me under his wing," she told him.

"Did you go to CIA?" Calum was jotting down notes, getting a feel for the story.

"I wish, it's so pretty up there. My twin brother attended Brown, and I went to Johnson and Wales so we could stay close." 

"You're a twin? Is he a chef as well?" Calum asked.

"Are you kidding? He's a lawyer, of course, my parents had to have one in the family," Hima laughed. 

Zia appeared beside their table. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Rafi is looking for you, Hima." 

A worried frown replaced her warm smile and Calum felt his nerves bubbling back up. He glanced around and caught sight of Ashton, flushed and sweaty from the heat of the kitchen, poking his head around the corner. Their eyes met, and Calum felt like he'd been hit by lightning.  

Hima saw his reaction and whipped around to see what Calum was looking at. Spotting her boss she quickly excused herself and hurried to the back. 

Zia cleared her throat and Calum realized she was still standing next to his table.

"Would you like to try Rafi's plantain skewers while you wait? It's my favorite thing here, and it'll leave room for whatever these geniuses cook up," she asked with a smile and a wink. 

He nodded and she headed to the server station to put the order in. Calum looked around and started taking notes.  The most striking thing about the decor was how they'd used diffused skylights for soft lighting to accent the Nakashima-style crafted wooden furniture.  Thanks to his Mom’s love of Antiques Roadshow when he was younger Calum discovered his preference for natural grain wood and bespoke pieces. He liked the use of pastel neon signs to complement the muted green and blue tones of the mosaic tile floors and he thought the framed pictures of what he assumed were family photos of the staff provided a really nice personal touch. The largest photo was in the bar of Ashton and his mother, the restaurant's namesake, Anne Marie. 

Zia set a plate down in front of him. "The boss will be out in a minute., Let me get you some more tea," she told him. 

The skewers consisted of chunks of pineapple, plantain, red onion, and sweet potato grilled and dusted with chili powder and brown sugar served with a yogurt sauce for dipping. 

Calum was almost finished with the first one when Ashton came out of the back, making his way towards him. The chef stopped to talk to several customers, the hostess, and Zia before he made it to Calum's table. Cal licked his fingers, wiping his hands clean with a Sani-wipe before standing up and offering a handshake. 

Ashton took his hand and Calum wasn't expecting it to feel so soft. Caught off guard Calum stammered out an introduction as he sat, but he noticed Ashton just nodded, barely listening. 

"If today isn't a good day we can reschedule," Calum sipped his tea, his throat suddenly dry.

"I'm here aren't I?" Ashton snapped. He folded his arms across his chest, his hazel eyes narrowing at Calum. "I still remember your first review you know."

Calum's pulse was racing. He hated confrontation, and he hadn't expected Ashton to kick off right away. He knew he'd better suck it up and apologize if this wasn't going to go completely off the rails. 

"Listen, I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have been such a dickhead."  As he spoke Ashton scoffed at him and Calum felt his cheeks get warm.  "I was young and stupid. I let something personal affect that review. I'm sorry." 

"Personal? With Luke? What do you mean by that?" Ashton went from annoyed to hostile.

Calum realized he'd said something wrong but wasn't sure what exactly. He was floundering trying to think of what to say next. 

"Nothing with Luke, no no no. I was involved with Finn and we weren't getting along. It's so stupid I know, but I think you're a great chef. The new place looks incredible, and Hima is a delight." 

The anger drained from Ashton's face, leaving him looking empty and sad. His head dropped to his chest, and Calum held his breath waiting for him to speak. 

"I'm really sorry, it's not you, but I can't do this right now. Maybe we can reschedule or something. My apologies, but I have to get back to work," Ashton mumbled, standing up. 

Calum spotted Hima watching them from the podium, chewing on her lip, her black eyes wide with concern as Ashton hurried back to the kitchen. Calum started to get up but she was too quick for him. 

"Well, aren't you lucky. I'm going on my lunch and I hate to eat alone," she slid back into the seat across from him. "Please forgive my boss. He's had a rough day, but I'm better company anyway." She waved to Zia who headed their way. "You gotta try the toasted gnocchi with gorgonzola cream sauce if you like cheese, but if you want something lighter the apple carrot kale wrap is excellent too," she smiled at him, and to her relief he smiled back, both of them realizing the situation might be salvageable after all.

(A/N: y’all my tag list, much like my life, is a hot mess. I know some of what I write isn’t for everyone. If you want tagged in part 2 of this fic or my upcoming smuts, pink kink series, or dad!calum series please let me know. I apologize for my previous mistake)

@sublimehood​ @tea4sykes​ @be-ready-when-i-say-go​ @scribblesos​ @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995​ @wildmichaelflower​ @castaway-cashton​ @damselindistressanu​ @notinthesameguey​ @cashtonasfuck​ @irwinkitten​ @mermaidcashton​ @malumsmermaid​

[5secondsofdrama]

Sierra Getting Signed

This was something I knew would eventually happen. One way or another, despite the massive screwup that happened in 2018, I felt like she would still get signed somehow. Back in 2018 when she tried to release music as a solo artist that for me is what really solidified my belief that this whole “relationship” was just a setup to get her noticed more. That none of it was real. 

Looking at the IG post that Unknown Music posted there’s a lot about the caption that just feels fabricated to me. I’ll use screenshots to show my point. And we will break the post down by paragraph as well seeing as she got two paragraphs. And out of all the posts made on August 14, 2020 she was one of 5 that actually got two paragraphs. Makes you wonder why she’s so special? Because personally, I don’t think she is.

We will start with the first paragraph and basically go sentence by sentence. The first sentence is pretty basic. We all know she grew up in Florida, but she was actually born in Philadelphia. Remember this for later, because there is a sentence within the second paragraph that is vastly misleading. We also know that she and Alex did move to Los Angeles after winning the X-Factor show in 2013. Most people don’t even know who Sierra is to begin with, let alone that she was a winner of the X-Factor US Show. Simple Google searches cover that if someone were really that curious. Basically, I am saying she is an unknown artist. So, maybe being signed to a label titled Unknown Music could potentially be beneficial. I don’t know. 

Moving on to sentence three where it talks about her touring. According to concertarchives.org she and Alex did a whopping total of FOURTEEN concerts. That doesn’t really equate to four plus years of touring in my personal opinion. But you can all be the judge of that. But if you look at songkick.com at their past shows it states that they had tours going as far as a February 2017 and started in 2012 before they even won The X-Factor US season 3. However, some of these dates don’t even seem to be plausible with how extensive being part of a national televised contest like the X-Factor really is. 

The final sentence claims she wants to pursue writing songs for other artists under a multi-award winning, multi-platinum selling American Songwriter named Ross Golan. Who, by the way if you simply look at his song writing credits on his Wikipedia page states that he wrote a song for the self-titled album 5SOS released. That’s right, he wrote the song Mrs. All American for 5SOS. So, it’s quite interesting that she would be signed under this guy. But not really. She can’t do anything without it being connected to 5SOS in some way.

Above, you’ll notice the second paragraph. It starts off with yet again mentioning her stint on The X-Factor US. Bringing it back to something that was done 7 years ago. However, looking at past episodes of their season Alex and Sierra didn’t even win on their talent. They simply won because they were “a cute couple”. Each and every performance they ever did all the judges could do was mention “how cute they were”. Not a single judge ever mentioned their vocal range or their “talent”. 

We all know that Alex is the reason they even won because he basically carried them both through the whole show. He’s the one with the natural talent. He’s the one who has successfully released EP’s for his solo career post Alex&Sierra Era. 

The second and third sentences go hand in hand because they both talk about her song writing abilities. Personally, I don’t think she’s that talented at it. She’s mediocre at best. She doesn't know how to write those smashing hits. It’s basic stuff. “Little Do You Know” is a song that I highly doubt would make anyone shed a tear.  Now, I did have Red look up the song on Spotify, and for whatever reason it really does have slightly over 400 million streams. How or why? I don’t know.

“She’s a Vietnamese woman” is an honest to god lie. And no, I am not erasing the fact that she is a Woman of Color/Person of Color. Sierra IS NOT a straight up Vietnamese woman. She was NOT born in Vietnam. She was born in America. Which makes her heritage HALF Vietnamese. It honestly seems like she’s trying to erase the fact that she was born in the US. This should have been written like this: “She’s of British and Vietnamese decent, because I do believe her dad was born in England and not America, but I could be wrong. However, she is American because she was born in America. 

Moving on to her “College” experience. Whether she was actually going to college with the intent to be a doctor is uncertain. From everything I have seen about her “college” experience she went into college for Public Relations and not to be a doctor at first. I get the feeling this was added in to maybe bring up the fact that her older sister happens to be a nurse.

Finally, the final sentence. She grows her own food and plays too much video games. Sierra has never once ever expressed ANY interest in video games or growing her own food until quarantine happened. So, this whole thing feels like a fabrication to me. Just to make her sound “relatable” or “well-rounded” I guess. Maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe I’m not. I know interests change and people change. But overall, she’s never struck me as the type to ever be interested in those things. 

And finally, we’ll take a look at the publishing partner Kobalt Music because honestly, I found this to be very interesting indeed. Recently, I took a look at the 5 Seconds of Summer BMI page again. And I looked at all the songs from the CALM album. 7 out of 12 songs from that album were published under Kobalt Music. It’s a bit strange to me that 5 Seconds of Summer would be affiliated with Cobalt right around the same time that Sierra gets signed. Again, it brings me to the conclusion that she can’t do anything on her own. She’s been handed opportunity after opportunity since being associated with the band and essentially squandered it all until now. 

She can’t do anything on her own merit. She can’t do any heavy lifting on her own. Something or basically EVERYTHING has to have some kind of affiliation to 5 Seconds of Summer somehow. I mean Unknown Music Publishing was founded just this year by Ross Golan, again someone who wrote a song for 5 Seconds of Summer in their early careers. Not a coincidence in my opinion. Overall, this just seems a little convenient but definitely something that was in the making from the moment she started becoming more known within the 5SOS “circle”.

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

26. I Hate This Fandom, and I Hate All of You

I absolutely stole this line from an old friend in the Glee fandom, because it’s one that I think about EVERY TIME a fandom gets on my nerves, much the way that even this fandom does and in particular Simon stans. Idk what to tell y’all if y’all feel some type of way... be better people. ANYWHO! Shoutout to my friend for a quote that still means a lot to me 10 years later. Word Count: 4119

Previous

There was a lot of buzz surrounding the mini vacation for Simon’s birthday. Their families were together in Belize. Simon’s photos only reflected Simon either being with Grace and Hazel on the trip, or Grace. For the type to hyperfixate and go through everyone’s pages, they could find entire group photos and stuff on Mr. Laurent’s and Mrs. Monroe’s pages as Mr. Monroe didn’t have social media and Mrs. Laurent’s wasn’t sophisticated (inspirational quotes and recipes and DIYs that she was never going to actually try). Simon’s selected photos always looked like professional stills of the scenery, candids and capturing all the beauty possible, while Grace took hundreds of photos of everything from hijinks and mishaps to food to selfies, and they always just looked like somebody living her best life.

But, someone asked, “Are you in Belize with Grace Monroe?” on Simon’s photo of a pair two pairs of bare feet in the dirt - one an older person, dark brown skin, several scars from previous damages and new callouses, and a younger person’s lighter brown skin and cutesy temporary tattoos on the base of their feet. 

“Grounding, also called earthing, is a therapeutic technique that involves doing activities that “ground” or electrically reconnect you to the earth. This practice relies on earthing science and grounding physics to explain how electrical charges from the earth can have positive effects on your body.” Simon had put as the caption. In the same photo set, you could see an image of his own feet in the dirt, and...

“These are Grace and Hazel Monroe’s feet, right???” When they flipped through the set, there was near the end of several pictures of the landscape and sky, silhouettes of two people in the sunset - remarkably shaped like Grace and Hazel dancing in the dirt.

“OMG OGM GOM MOG MG OOMG…”

“Simon and Grace are BACK ON y’all!”

“Grace is letting Simon post photos of her! You all know that she’s very secretive about Simon these days, and now they’re in Belize and he’s posting photos! We WON everybody!”

“GRACE???”

Grace’s comments were a little bit less like that. A little bit. She had almost forgotten how “Simon’s fans” could get. She had looked up one of those “foods to order when you’re in Belize” articles and gotten everything on the list, took a photo of the table top and captioned, “About to go IN!” And less than a few moments later, had SO MANY, “Are you with Simon/Simon is gonna eat most of that/Save some for Simon/What did Simon order/So jealous that you get to eat all of that! Save room for desert AKA Simon!” That was the point where she decided to go on a comments black out. There could be no more comments on whatever photos that she took for the rest of the trip. Simon left his open, though. It blew his mind that half a year ago, people were telling him that they were disappointed in him for hurting Grace and lying about it, or that they were disappointed in him for trusting Grace again after everything, and now SOME of those very same people were extremely excited just to see them having brunch together that they were already working on wedding date headcanons and pregnancy foreshadowing. This entertained him. Grace wasn’t as much of a fan and contacted Hazel’s social media rep to ensure that any comments or questions about Simon were promptly deleted from any of her pages. Sometimes, they did that too. That was less amusing to Simon. He really believed that kids should be left out of things like that.

Simon knew that he was the reason that they didn’t last, as friends or otherwise and he had come to terms with that, but he still wanted her to be able to forgive him someday, trust him again and let him be a part of her life. This wasn’t her intention with this trip, so he definitely couldn’t take it as a sign. She was enjoying Belize with her daughter and making the most of the fact that her parents had foolishly invited him along, thinking it could be beneficial in some way. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to enjoy his limited time with her to the fullest. 

Plus, he and Hazel had made some small steps to acceptance on her tour of their memory lane. Surprisingly to him, Grace was very open with Hazel about her wrongs. She did tell her about how she fought and hunted down Simon’s bullies, how she stabbed one with a fork and kept it just to remind herself of that day. She told her things that Simon never would have wanted to ever let his kids know that he had done. Hazel just hugged her, told her that she understood her pain better now and that she was proud of her for being able to be a good and strong person now. She posted something about her mom being her hero and being so glad that she had somebody like her in her life. It was really cute. 

Simon went to follow her on her social media and someone even noticed THAT. “Simon Laurent is now following Hazel Monroe on like everything!” They posted with screenshots of his name following each account and an eyeballs emoji. He… blocked the person. He didn’t block people very much, but where Hazel was concerned, he didn’t want any of his stuff to bleed over into her space. Grace wouldn’t like that and he didn’t like it, either. 

He and Hazel had spoken about the charm bracelet. She had been chronicling the charms with their stories, and said something like, “I feel like I’m wearing a sacred relic on my wrist.” 

“Speaking of…” Simon had said, and reached into his satchel. “I made you copies of something…” 

He showed her some pages of what could ONLY be two Esmoroth books and she squealed, hugged them to herself and stuck them in her own tote. “Expect my notes on them, soon.” He gave her a salute. Grace watched them interact and she couldn’t remember many moments that he talked to kids - like she had seen him at work with them and even sometimes whenever she caught part of one of his scouts things, but seeing him and Hazel sort of bonding affected her. She was equal parts cautious and soft. Simon seemed genuine though, and that only became more noticeable during the trip.

He was doing stuff like making sure she was walking on the inside when they went down streets, reflexively shielding her in crowds, helping her over, up onto stuff whenever she looked like she might struggle - things that Grace would normally do/try to do but wait it out to see if Hazel could do it herself or ask her if she needed help. Simon jumped into action and it didn’t seem to bother Hazel, so Grace was able to watch her get babied a little bit. It was cute. She snapped several photos, just for herself, though. 

They got back to the villa to see that Mrs. Monroe had arranged another dinner. “This woman, I swear,” Grace mumbled. Simon laughed a little. 

Mrs. Monroe announced, “We had a spa day and I got the Laurents makeovers. The three of you get washed up and dressed. The photographer is already here and I don’t want him to catch you three looking like… This.” she circled her hands at them, then waved them off. 

“What… should I wear?” Simon asked as they walked off.

“I’ve set your outfits out!” Mrs. Monroe called at his back, “All of you!” 

“I really feel like I’m 15 again,” Grace said shaking her head. Simon let out a grunt of agreement. 

Hazel wondered, “This is what 15 feels like???” Not her 15. Grace was NEVER gonna do this type of stuff to her. But, the occasional bossiness of GlamMother Monroe would be fine. ONLY on occasion. 

They reconvened with the family on the patio, overlooking the water as they were relaxed enough to not be as uncomfortable as at the birthday dinner. Hazel and Simon were talking about how far along she had gotten in his book, which she had her copy of at the table and was going over notes so far (she was pleased with where it was going and she enjoyed the angst between the Future King and the Idol Princess, “A lot more than I would have before everything I learned about you and my mom,” Grace heard her say. 

“Do you want more?” Grace heard an unfamiliar voice ask. 

She turned to see Mrs. Laurent staring at her with gray eyes… Simon’s eyes. Ugh… This is where he got those? She forced a smile and shrugged, “Someday.”

The woman leaned closer to her and said, “It gets tougher whenever there’s another. You have a hard time juggling the same amount of love that you have in you between more bodies.”

“I don’t think I’ll have that problem, but I’m going to take everything that the professionals say into consideration whenever I begin to think about expanding the family.”

“Simon was really easy. You just give him a little block set or something to build and he would leave you alone for hours. His sister needed constant attention. She just couldn’t stand not being focused on. I could easily leave Simon alone for half a day whenever he was 6. Hope couldn’t be left for a couple of hours, even having someone there with her…”

“Leave her alone,” they heard Simon growl at his mother in a low voice. The woman frowned and sat back in her seat. “Are you okay, Grace?” Simon looked at Grace’s hands clutching the table. She looked at them too, and released her grip, then saw Hazel, looking at her concerned and looking at Mrs. Laurent suspiciously.

“Yeah. She was just talking about motherhood.”

“About how she was terrible at it?” Simon asked.

“Simon…” Grace started.

But Hazel interjected, “Not everybody has a mom like you, Grace.”

“My mom isn’t perfect…”

“I think she meant a mom who is like you,” Simon said. Hazel nodded. “Some of us got hit a lot and yelled at, called names…”

“Abandoned in a field for days…”Hazel added. “Not to say that GlamMother was better! Just… sometimes it’s harder to trust people again, depending on what they did and well… as a mommy, doing bad stuff to your kid makes it so hard to even be nice.”

Grace nodded and adjusted Hazel’s braids. She had braided her hair whenever they were on the plane, to pass the time on the long flight. “I understand. I’ve been hurt by somebody that I thought really loved me before…” Simon blinked and turned away. Hazel gave him a sympathetic glance. Grace added, “But, I’m really trying not to be angry with them forever, and I think maybe our moms might be able to inherit a little bit of the same kind of forgiveness that we would want from others.”

Hazel scoffed, “She is definitely talking to you, Simon. There’s no way I’m forgiving any time soon.”

Simon said, “Noted,” and stared into his cup. He sat for a while longer and then took his cup and left the table. Hazel lowered her eyes, avoiding looking at Grace. 

Mrs. Laurent offered, “He’s always been really sensitive. I’ll go…”

“No,” Grace said. “You… stay.” She stood up, glanced at Mrs. Laurent, slid Hazel’s chair away from her a little, basically letting Hazel know not to engage with that woman (though Hazel seemed to be the only person that the woman was kind hearted to, probably reminded her of her daughter or something). Grace found Simon pacing and clenching his fists. She turned to leave. This was a private moment, but he glanced up, saw her and stopped moving. She winced and clasped her hands together, “I was coming to check on you.” He relaxed a little and sat down on the nearby stairs. 

She leaned against the rail and explained, “I’m not saying that you have to forgive your mom if you want me to forgive you. That’s not what I meant to convey. I just mean… that I try to think about things from the other person’s shoes a lot more than I used to. I remember right before I snapped, I asked my mom if you really believed all of the things you said about me, or if you were just a really good liar. I still don’t really know for sure what the answer is and I don’t think you do, either. And, whenever we don’t even fully know ourselves, how can we possibly know what others are going through? For all I know, you’re in the most pain that has ever pained anyone. I couldn’t say. What I can say is that I won’t let your pain be an excuse to hurt me, and as long as you aren’t hurting me, I see no reason to punish you.” She sat next to him. “But, maybe you and your mom can’t be like that, and that’s valid. I was just throwing something out in the air. I probably should have thought it through.”

“It’s true though. The stuff I did is just as unforgivable as the stuff she did. How can I expect you to ever trust me again when I’m not willing to do the same with her?”

“I mean… you and me are different people. You and her are different people. Not everything is interchangeable.”

“Any time I’m near Hazel, you look like at any moment, you expect me to throw her into the ocean. It feels really bad, but I get it. So… I know that she MIGHT be hurting too. It’s just… so hard. And to think that this is the way that I make you feel when I’m around, trying to pretend that I’m normal… It’s the most painful part. What can I do though? I made it this way. I did things that can’t be undone. Even in trying to rectify it, that’s just… treating an injury. I’ll never be able to remove the scars.” He had tears falling down his face, which he wiped away before she could have the chance to feel bad. “And you’re the last person that I should be whining to about it, because you’re the victim in this story.”

“A survivor,” she corrected. “Who has chosen to try to understand. Let’s give each other a little more space. We went around town, living in the old days and that maybe threw us a bit out of reality’s orbit. You were fine before we hung out..” He opened his mouth to debate, but she caught herself and corrected, “Well, not fine, but better. And… you need to get increasingly better. Until you’re well.” She got up and he watched her go back out and collect Hazel. They turned in early that night. He went back out to talk to his mom… 

.

The Laurents were awake early and the only ones in the kitchen with Hazel whenever Grace emerged from their quarters. Mr. Laurent had made pancakes and eggs, and Hazel was stuffing her face and reading. Simon was next to her, ready to protect her, if he had to, while his mother was nursing a cup of coffee with a full, cold plate in front of her. “Good morning!” Grace cheered and kissed Hazel on top of the head, then Simon, though she awkwardly cringed after she did. He blushed, but didn’t make a big deal out of it. Yeah, she requested space, but she was also always affectionate and they had been around each other a lot the past few days. 

“Good morning,” Mr. Laurent said. “Plenty of pancakes and eggs!” 

“I’m having breakfast with my parents, but thank you for the offer,” she said in a fake sweet voice. “Hazel, why don’t you go get ready for the day. We’re spending it with your grands.”

“Yes!!! They give the BEST day out presents!” Grace sat down, and Simon noticed that with the off the shoulders blouse she had on, he could see the tan marks on her now even darker brown skin. He… liked tan marks. And… her hair smelled really good. Her lips looked so moist… She squinted her eyes at him and he quickly turned away and grabbed his plate and Hazel’s to clear them from the table. 

“What do you all have planned for the day?” She asked.

“I’m going to take Samantha to the beach,” Simon said. 

“If you can find her. I told you to keep her in her crate,” Mrs. Laurent said.

“I let her out in my quarters, not in the entire villa. She’s somewhere in my space,” he said. They had been bickering. He told her that he was trying to forgive her, because forgiving her might mean being able to forgive himself for the things that he had done. She told him that even if she tried for the rest of her life, she couldn’t forgive him for what he did to Hope… So… They weren’t any closer to whatever it was Grace was at in her growth journey. “I might do something with my hair,” Simon said, shrugging his shoulders as he washed dishes and returning his attention to Grace’s question. “Since I have that patch on the side from getting kicked in the head, I sort of want to do something Viking looking or elvish… Maybe a braid and a side do.”

“That sounds hot,” Grace said. He blushed again. “There might be something in Hazel’s Celtic book! There were some hairstyles in there. She carries the thing around a lot. Every since we found out that she had it in her DNA, she’s sorta been obsessed with Celtic history and the fact that there’s hazel tree lore is her favorite coincidence in the world.” Simon smiled and put the clean dishes away. 

“She’s a great kid. You’re doing great with her.”

“It’s really not that hard. I just love her a lot and always try to give her what’s best for her and trust her to let me know if she doesn’t agree with what’s best for her… which isn’t often, at all. I worry that she sometimes maybe has too much emotional maturity. Like, if I shouldn’t coddle her a little more…” She bit her lip. “Like… how can you even tell when it’s what’s best?”

“She is happy and healthy. I trust that you do what’s best.” He cut his eyes at his mother and dismissed himself just as Hazel returned. They high fived each other when they crossed paths and Grace got up so that they could leave. She’d meet her parents elsewhere later. She couldn’t just stay in there with the Laurents, no matter how nice they were maybe trying to be.

.

She and Simon did well enough keeping their space through the rest of the trip. By Monday morning, when they were all back home, Grace wondered if Hazel needed a day to recover, but she was SO READY to get to school and brag to her friends about how she had been given drafts of the next two books of Esmoroth and how she wouldn’t tell them what happened and they would be SO jealous and think she’s SO cool. “They might even think that I’m lying. That’s why I have photos of me and Simon, with both of the drafts. They’re gonna be extremely, extremely envious.”

Grace laughed, “Why do you want your friends to be envious?”

“Because, that’s how you know it’s the good stuff.” Hazel still had her braids in. They probably wouldn’t last as long as that style would in Grace’s head, but Grace estimated she still had a few weeks before they would have to take them down. Also, Grace noticed that after giving Simon the leaf in her hair whenever they went to get on their planes home… She hadn’t replaced it. She put in one of her leaf clips and almost left the door without Grace! Grace caught up with her and the girl was as lively as ever. Grace didn’t have that same enthusiasm. 

The weekend was exhausting for her. Seeing her parents wore her out. Seeing them, the Laurents, and specifically Simon? She was about to sleep this entire day, until it was time to meet up with Hazel afterschool. Back in her own bed, with her own energy in her space, her own schedule and company (or lack thereof) it was great. 

.

 Simon had went live while he was working on styling his hair, to clear up all of the rumors about he and Grace rekindling their romance, which essentially boiled down to, “Grace and I are not together. We aren’t even friends again. The Monroes were nice enough to treat my family to a vacation for my birthday. I love, admire, adore, worship, would die for Grace, but I’ve done too much stuff for her to ever trust me again and I have to be okay with that, so all of you should be, too.”

Grace didn’t know until Hazel told her that Forgive Him Grace and Groveling for Grace were a thing. She watched the video and was amazed that they had taken his words and decided to do the complete opposite, because of course they did! She merely made a post, with no tags or links that said, “I hate this fandom, and I hate all of you.” Some were in the comments laughing, because they knew exactly what she was talking about. Some were asking her what fandom it was and offering words of kindness. Some were just flooding it with those stupid hashtags. 

Simon messaged her to apologize and insist that he didn’t mean for THIS to happen. She turned it into a video call, which he immediately picked up.

“Your followers have always been a very… special kind. Unreasonable. Stubborn. Obsessively defensive, even when you absolutely don’t deserve it.” He looked embarrassed. “You trained them too well. Jeesh.”

“They’re literally a little cult on the internet,” he said.

“Yup. They better not be bothering my baby.”

“No. I shut that shit down the moment I see it. I actually pinned an exile list to the top of my pages specifically for that.”

She checked and saw “For troubling Hazel Monroe, you will be exiled and your name will go upon this wall of shame.” It was followed by a list of names of people he blocked and at the bottom, “Leave her alone or you won’t be welcome here.” 

“This is kinda adorable,” she said. “I love how you are with her. It means a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, so she does too,” he said. She bit her lip and blew air through her lips. He smiled. “I love that you still do that. I was counting the similarities and differences.”

“I’d love to hear what you came up with!” She said.

“Okay. Similarities: You still do that brrrr thing with your mouth when you’re thinking or uncomfortable. You still play with people’s hair as a show of affection. You playfully tugged on Hazel’s braids so many times! Your feet still bother you… though they seem to be giving you more trouble than before. You still try to play nice with people and speak sweetly… Differences: You’re more confident. Not that you were insecure before, but you used to care what people think about you and now, you just don’t. It’s really sexy.” She blushed. “You’re independent. You don’t need anybody else and you used to always want somebody around. Like, you love Hazel and keep her close, but I can tell that you also allow her freedom and don’t demand her obedience like your parents did to you. And you’re… everything. I can’t believe that I convinced myself that you were nothing. You’re everything, and I would do anything for you.” They both just stared at each other a while. 

“Well… That’s a nice thought. I’ll think of you if I need anything.”

“Or if you want anything…. Anything at all, Grace. I swear.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you soon. Get your followers together!”

“I’m on it,” he said and rested his chin on his hands. She exited the conversation and took a deep breath. She didn’t know what he meant by any of that, but she had a feeling that it would be clear soon. Simon never made a declaration that he wasn’t going to come through about. Even “new” Simon. 

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