#i had this saved in my folders for a while omg

[call-me-nineki]

Another thing (probably last) from the Halloween event~ (':

[not-magdi]

Media Intern - Pt.1

Summary: Getting accepted at her dream job at FC Barcelona and starting a new journey that can lead her god nows where.

Warnings: None

Words: 1.3

Part 2

Deciding to study Sports Management, Y/N stood before the decision on which University she should study. Not having a single idea where she wanted to go she just sent applications to the five most attractive looking universities. These being the Universidad de Barcelona, the LUNEX University in Luxembourg, and three more in France and Austria, and England. 

After getting cancellations from three out of the five Universities she had to decide between Barcelona and England. After thinking for a long time she decided that she wanted to study in Barcelona, preferring the hot Spanish weather over the rainy English one. 

This leads her to now, after finding an apartment near campus and packing all her things to move to Spain she now is in the middle of her second semester. 

Starting to search for a roommate shortly into the first semester, after realizing that Barcelona is freaking expensive and paying for everything alone is impossible. Surprisingly just one hour after posting her offer online someone answered. 

Carmen Sanchez, 19 years old studying International Marketing. After meeting up and clicking immediately they ended up as roommates. 

Y/N was happy she was now not as alone anymore, having someone there when you come home has something comforting while living so far away from your home country. 

Now in the middle of her second semester, Y/N's desk was full of piles of books and folders, needing to study for various exams and projects she has to hand in, in the next few weeks. 

Finishing her last course of the day Y/N is about to head home as her professor stops her, "Y/N... wait a second, please." Turning around Y/N comes to a halt turning around to see her professor going up to her with a smile on his face. 

"Hello, Professor what can I do for you?" asking him as he stops in front of her fishing a little folder out of his bag. 

"Oh, nothing ... I just got this job offer from FC Barcelona, my cousin works there and sent me this. They are searching for an intern in their social media department. She sent it to me asking if one of my students would maybe be interested, and I thought of you." 

Handing her the folder she opens it, seeing the details of the offer. She once told him that she searches for a job as affording school supplies is really expensive and her savings are slowly coming to an end. 

"Thank you professor ... I will definitely look into it. " Y/N told him and put the folder into her bag trying not to freak out. 

"Please do that ... I think something like this would really fit you and benefit your studies. That's all, I just wanted to give you the folder. Hope you have a nice evening ... bye Y/N" waving him goodbye, Y/N continued her way home, the offer from Barcelona the only thing on her mind.

Football has always been a passion of Y/N, starting to watch it with her dad every Sunday and loving it just as much as him. 

Y/N always admired the reporters who got to travel around the world and getting to comment on the sport they love. Wanting to be just like them, Y/N worked her ass off to be able to study Sports Management and now getting this offer, Y/N was over the moon. 

Opening the front door she searched for Carmen to tell her the news, "Carmen where are you ... you can never guess what Professor Cruz just gave me !" Running into their living room she spots Carmen on the couch with her laptop on her lap. 

"What did he give you?", looking up from her laptop she chuckles at Y/N's excited behavior.

Jumping beside Carmen on the couch she pulls the folder out of her bag showing it to her. "Look ... it's a job offer from THE FUCKING FC BARCELONA!" Y/N tells Carmen squealing the last part.

"OMG really ... that's so cool. Please tell me you already sent something to them." 

Y/N looks at her, "No ... he gave me that thing thirty minutes ago, should I have done it while walking home?" Raising an eyebrow at Carmen she continues. "I wanted to do it now but I have no clue what I should write them, I think 'Hey I'm Y/N, I love football I have no clue what I should do at your club, and would really like the job' won't bring me in" 

"See this is why you have me ... you didnt even read the folder because if you would have read it, you would have seen that they gave you an exact list of what they want to know about you" 

Giving her the paper, Carmen closes the project she has been working on her laptop and opens an empty Word document. 

"They want my Instagram name too?" looking surprised Y/N looks at Carmen, "Why would they want that?" 

"They want to see what you post and if you could damage the image of the Club ... we had that last week in one of my courses. That's something many companies now do, most of the time big and famous companies, like FC Barcelona. These days something like that is mandatory." Carmen tells her. 

"Wow, that's kind of scary" speaks Y/N as she turns the page around.

"Yeah it kind of is ... but now let's go to work, let's start with your CV" Carmen takes the folder and looks at what the first thing on the list is. "They want to know what my work experience is ..."

It took them solid three hours and five Red Bulls but they're done. Before them now lays a complete CV with as many details as they could put into it, a Photo of Y/N, and a recommendation from Professor Cruz, ready to be sent. 

"You ready?" Carmen looks at Y/N, who holds her trembling finger over the sent button. 

"Y-yes ... I think so?", taking a deep breath she presses the send button and closes her eyes. 

Your application was successfully sent. 

"Omg ... I can't believe I just did that ... I think I need a beer", chuckling Carmen looks at her and adds, "Please bring me one too ... they have no choice but to accept you with that bomb CV we just wrote." 

Laughing Y/N stands up and goes to the kitchen to grab them a beer, they sat on the couch cuddled together watching TV until they both fell asleep. 

Y/N hasn't heard anything from them for several days, she slowly started to think she didn't get the job, so she tried to ignore it as best as possible, distracting herself with coursework and projects.

Currently walking home after having to do the shopping today Y/N felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Pulling it out her mouth fell open, they replied they really replied! Wanting to open it together with Carmen she started to walk home as fast as she could but was too impatient in the end. Opening the Email in the hallway of her apartment building. 

Dear Y/N Y/L/N,

We are happy to inform you that we choose you as our new Intern at th-

She got it, she really got the job!

Y/N read the mail over and over again, she started to believe it after the about sixteenth time. Running to her apartment as fast as she could, only tripping once she kicked the door open and shouting at Carmen. 

"I got the job! Carmen, they said yes ... I'm going to work at THE FC BARCELONA!"

[friendsoup]

Omg hello! So I am obsessed with Vertin and CANNOT find anything on her. Could you write an angsty fic between her and the reader? Like something where she and the reader obviously want something to develop between eachother, but refuse to go through with it for whatever reason? If not that's completely alright, I still adore your works.

Brave The Storm

Recipe: Angst, Hurt no comfort, Romantic pining, GN!reader, Reader x Vertin, Projecting myself onto Vertin by making her neurodivergent, v short v sad

WC: 987

AC: Wrote this in the ideal fanfiction writing setting. Home alone, on the couch, with my dog beside me, a cup of warm coffee on the table. I hope this isn't too short for you anon! I had run writing Vertin!

“Timekeeper?” You call, timidly from the doorway. You’ve never ventured into the Timekeeper’s office before, though few have. To your understanding, it was Vertin’s secret place, where she stowed herself away after every storm. Usually, she’d emerge a day later, ready to lead your team forward. But now was different. She hadn’t left the office in days, and everyone was beginning to grow worried. Restless without any commands from her. “Come in.” You hear her voice call from the other side. Your breath catches in your throat. You know that you’re about to see another side to Vertin, one that she’s shown very few people. Hesitantly, you twist the doorknob, and let yourself in. “Apologies for the mess.” Vertin says, shuffling through a box of files. She looks distraught, her eyes heavy with bags and her lips scratched to high hell. Her hair is pulled back into a haphazardly done ponytail, which hangs low. Stray hairs cover her face, it’s clear that she hasn’t fixed it in a while. It occurs to you then that you’ve never seen Vertin with her hair down. You hadn’t considered the true length of her hair, but with it unfurled from it’s bun, you see that it’s quite long. “I wasn’t expecting a guest.” She continues, snapping you out of your thoughts. “No, no, you’re fine.” You shake your head lightly. You can excuse the mess. It’s the work of a genius after all. Far be it from you to criticize. “I brought you something to eat.” You walk up beside her, placing the small tray of toast and water down beside her. It wasn’t the healthiest meal, but Sonetto had mentioned something about it being safe food. You knew better than to doubt her knowledge on the Timekeeper. “Thank you.” Vertin responded, bringing her hand up to her lip again. Absent-mindedly, she scratches at it, picking away another layer of skin.

Without thinking, you move your hand to hers, gently pushing it away from her face. Vertin’s eyes widen and look to you, shocked by this development. You notice the slightest blush on her cheeks. “Sorry!” You apologize quickly, glancing away. “I just… You shouldn’t pick at your skin, Timekeeper. It’s not good for you.”

“Vertin.” She mutters. “Please, call me Vertin.” She looks up to you with pleading eyes. You swallow harshly. “Vertin.” You correct, though the word feels wrong in your mouth, ”You shouldn’t pick at your lip. You could damage your skin.” 

“I know.” Vertin sighs. “It’s a bad habit, I’ve been doing it since I was a child. It’s difficult to quit though. I feel like it’s simply been built into me.” Her eyes fall back to her hands, to the box she was looking through.

You kneel next to her, peering into the box. You see the headlines of newspapers pop out in between the manilla folders. You recognize the dates, as times in the distant future. Vertin places the newest neatly inside. “The creator of the Storm must have a twisted sense of humor.” She says, suddenly. “I can bring as many items as I want with me into my suitcase… Yet the people I try to save stay lost forever.” Her voice is soft, fragile. As if she could shatter at any moment. You spend a second in silence, attempting to find some hopeful words. “You’ve saved many people, Vertin.” You whisper back, scared that if you’re too loud, she’d break. “Regulus, Sotheby,” You take in a breath, holding it in your chest for a moment,”Me.” “You?” Vertin asks, her gaze returning to you. “I don’t think you needed saving. You’re a capable fighter, you’re brave, you have a brilliant mind, you’re…” Her voice trails off, the slight blush returning to her cheeks. Silence falls between you once again. Hesitantly, you reach over, placing your hand over hers. She flinches initially, then calms, her shoulders falling and her breathing slowing. You feel your heart race in your chest at the contact. Her hand is cold, begging to be warmed. 

“The reason I keep fighting,” You begin, feeling your throat close up at the honesty, “The reason I’m so brave, and I try to be so smart, is because I want to make you happy. The Storm, it took so much from me. I wouldn’t have the strength to go on if you weren’t in my life. You are my purpose, Vertin.” “[Y/N]...” Vertin chokes on the word, her eyes beginning to tear. “Vertin, I-” “Don’t say it.” She interrupts, holding a finger to your lips. “Please, don’t say it.” Tears are falling quick now, rapid succession down her face. “I can’t take it. I can’t stand it.”

“Why?” You plea, squeezing her hand slightly. “Just let me in, Vertin. Let me help you. We can brave the Storm together!” “No.” Vertin shakes her head rapidly, pulling away from your touch. “You can’t. I can’t. It’s too much. I’ve lost so much over such a short period of time. Everything I gain turns to sand. I can’t let it happen again. Not to such a great extent.” “I won’t leave you!” You beg. “You don’t know that!” Vertin shouts, her eyes bloodshot. 

“Vertin…” You whisper, your shoulders falling in defeat. It’s true. You don’t know what’ll happen next time the Storm hits, or when the next attack happens. Though you want to assure Vertin you’ll be by her side through it all, you know that it’ll be an empty promise. Yet empty promises are all you’re able to provide. “Please.” Vertin sobs, her hands trembling. “Leave me be.”

You open your mouth to protest, but then she looks at you, and it sends a dagger straight through your heart. Her trembling lip, her fragile expression. You fear making things worse.

You stand, and make your way to the door.

“Goodnight, Vertin.” You tell her, before you leave. “Take care of yourself.”

[thisismeracing]

ok so since i had dance practice today

mick and hamilton!reader would absolutely be the types to dance in the kitchen

waltzing would be their sleepy, i want to touch you but also dance but also im dead on my feet but still want to dance

and since salsa requires more energy to at would be their we’re making lunch but the food needs to sit in the pan for a bit and we have the space and time to be wrapped up in each other dance

i think they wouldnt dance in public at first cause they want this to just be their thing before its something the world knows

but one day on the paddock someone accidentally connects to a bluetooth speaker and one of their salsa songs come son and before anyone knows it mick has pulled hamilton reader close and they are in their own world salsa-ing around

everyone is like where is this music coming from and why is it so loud??? and then they turn their heads towards them two and they just watch in stunned silence and adoration

lewis is a smiling wideeeeeeee cause thats his sister!!!!! and her man treats her so welllllll

[sidebar: lewis was the one to teach hamilton!reader the waltz, but reader and mick learned the salsa by themselves]

the engineer’s phone who was desperately trying to disconnect let the song run cause they arent going to take away this moment from them

and at the end the surrounding garages give a round of applause

(maybe lewis pulls him aside later and jokingly, but not really, and gives him his blessing and he better see a ring on his sisters ring soon. mick totally isnt shitting bricks when he says that and then reader, unknowingly saves him from her brother to take him away cause its time to go home)

☕️

first of all, it's so cool you dance!!! I love it <3

second, yes, hamilton!reader and mick would totally dance, they have their own playlist after all, we should expect something like this from these two. They would waltz to the piano version of King of my heart, Mick just got home from sim work, and Yn is super tired and had just gotten home too, she's putting something together for dinner, and their shared playlist just ended, so now Spotify is playing similar stuff, and for some reason, it started playing the piano version of their song. Mick, who had just reached the kitchen door, hugged her tight, kissing her temple, and relaxing with her scent and touch. It was seconds, and they were still hugging so one of them casually started to move, and the other followed, and then they were just quietly dancing in each other's arms.

It would take a bit for them to get the hang of Salsa, but it was so much fun to learn with each other. They would share some tutorials, and their algorithm would help by suggesting salsa songs and TikToks. She would make fun of him, but also encourage him - get this right and I'm kissing you on the lips, one step wrong the kiss is on the cheek, and so on, all while in the kitchen. Some days they would move the sessions to the living room, dragging the coffee table to the corner of the room, and just having their fun. Angie would bark here and there especially when they would laugh, she would love to watch those two.

OMG OMG But the look they would share the second the music started playing, silently deciding if they would dance to this or just pretend it wasn't happening, but then Mick was grabbing her hand, and it started small, just one foot here, other there, but then you were dancing for real, and the whole time they were smiling at each other, eyes never leaving the other.

Lewis is the proud brother, and he would totally snap a small video of it (that thing about having a shared folder with Gina), whereas he's also the protective brother so yeah, he would tell how happier reader seems to be and how Yn happy means he's happy too, and meanwhile Mick is just nodding unaware of this is going, sipping his coffee, and watching Lewis go through his salad, at this point, Lewis is more talking than eating his food. And then boom, he asks when he'll be seeing a ring on her finger, and Mick chokes on his coffee, gulps at the tricky situation, and before he can confess to Lewis that he, in fact, got his mom's ring just a few weeks back, but he would probably wait a bit, Yn barges into the room laughing with Bono and Mick breaths in relief.

Side note: I am in love with all your hamilton!reader thots <3 the way you got them is just *chef kiss*

King of My Heart Masterlist

[poppurini]

here’s a twst writers appreciation post bc i suddenly wanna show love and i totally encourage you to reblog and put your favs here too!! doesn’t matter if they’re already mentioned or if they’re a well known writer bc compliments are never too much <3

@rggie ┊ although their blog’s not active anymore i still recommend checking them out bc their smaus are so so funny they had me HOLLERING. and they don’t just have smaus their writing is also such a good read??? I LOVE THEM SMM

@fukashiin ┊ MY SOULMATE. ok listen listen i’m telling you when she posts i run and i mean RUN to read them bc they are gold. i check her blog sm tumblr tells me WAKE UP BABE YOUR WIFE POSTED i kid u not. her works are all so good especially the fluff ones??? she just has this way with words that i can’t help but get all giddy

@keedas ┊ whenever i read their works my hand’s always ALWAYS covering my mouth due to how cute and heart pounding they are!! i still reread some of your works like lipstick stain with leona and ballroom dancing with rook i want them tattooed to my heart

@leonaism ┊ [ *do note that this blog contains nsfw works as well !! make sure u check their byf/dni before doing anything 🫶 ] WHERE DO I EVEN START. another one with an immaculate theme and also!! salmon blesses many many fandoms with their awe-struck writing, i especially love their sfw ones!! it’s so fluffy and cute rah

@hisui-dreamer ┊ another amazing writer with lots of lots of content <3 unfortunately i haven’t had the time to properly sit down and read her works but i’ve skimmed through them whenever they pop up on my dash bc oh how could i resist and i just know i’ll gobble them up they already look so good sO IMAGINE IF I HAD THE TIME TO PROPERLY READ???? I HAVE SO MANY SAVED AS TBR

@flmer ┊ one of the ppl who has the most gorgeous and creative themes my jaw dropped to the molten core of earth when i first came across their blog it was so so eye-catching!! i haven’t had the time to read their other writings but this one fluff of theirs that i read already makes me the most impatient person on earth bc i can’t wait till i have the time to properly sit down and ABSORB

@wolken-himmel ┊ her works are always so so good !! i love how she could write for all the characters and the precision with their characterisation is so on point. anytime i need a good fluffy read i always go to her, and there’s always a read for each person bc she literally writes for ALL the characters including the staff! her platonic works are just as sweet and fun as the others. such a dedicated and creative writer!!

@mxzenpai ┊ oh my god i swear the ecstasy i got when i first read their leona oneshots were incomparable. was literally kicking my feet and giggling throughout my time reading it. i had to stop and do a silent scream bc the way they wrote leona in this made me blush HARD i was rereading that for days

@nthee ┊ extremely underrated !! deserves more recognition with her content and i always get excited whenever she posts i really look forward to read them <3

dark content creators

@kurimiaki ┊ SLAMS FOLDERS ON TABLE there’s so much i could say abt their writing each and every one is so wonderfully and beautifully written i find myself admiring their writing while reading their works RAH

@pomupom ┊ saikou writes yan content like no others omg there’s just smth that always ALWAYS draw me back to their writing when it comes to yan content!! i drop everything on hand and RUSH to their blog whenever i see that they posted

[feral-teeth]

🖌, 🕰, 👀 & 🍂 for the ask game 🫶

🖌️- Do you have/want any tattoos?

I dont have any, but I love the idea of tattoos and i get sick of seeing and feeling things being on my body really easily (like watches or like temp tattoos) so idk if its the best idea for me? I would probably only get something very abstract or something i really love.

Attached are the marble tattoos i would get on my arms and legs! Like i imagine black or gold marble along my shoulder and down, cutting off where there woukd be patchwork tattoos (like a mix of spencer agnews and anthony padillas)

Heres the link to my tattoo inspo board :3 - its among all of the other boards in that folder

I also know that once i get top surgery i want to put like, something cool on the new free real estate on my chest once it heals - like a cool feral dog or like stitches or something cool. To represent how fucking sick and badass being trans and getting top surgery is. And also being a furry i need like teeth or something feral looking on me (i wonder where i got my username from lol) ik someone on insta whos trans and he has these SICK tattoos like paw prints on the palm of his hands and some other rlly cool ones!! His name is Fox i think? Hes a huge inspo for me and my furry journey/trans journey for a while.

Also a tooth. Cuz fuck yeah

The future of having patchwork tattoos on my arms when i get money for it… it keeps me going. I cant wait to look fucking HOT esp w black ink cuz i find it super hot and more aesthetic on me.

I remember there was a self-love influencer and she had two tigers on her belly, and i loved the idea of that and to appreciate my stomach more.

. I also love the idea of having angel wing tattoos cause i used to always imagine having angel wings and wrapping them around me when i was scared or needed comfort. So they would represent that comfort. I also imagined them like, dragging on the ground behind me sometimes, like my wings were too big for my body. I imagined them as like gold and red and w like splashes of bright colours.

🕰️ - What time is it where you are rn?

Well its 6:01pm as i start to write this - lets see how long it takes for me to post it lol - checking in its 6:26pm - now its 6:35pm - 6:40pm abt to post

👀 - what colour are your eyes?

Brown, but golden in the sunlight! I have an old photo that i love when i was in British Colombia in the car and the sun was shining so perfectly and i got a picture of my golden eyes. Its such a beautiful picture i might just find it and post it here after i answer this <3 also reminds me of a photo i took of the mountains out the window that was literally a perfect screenshot of the beautiful moment. It makes me miss my old instagram where i used to only post aesthetic photos i took 😔probs gonna make my personal account do just that now 🫡

🍂-whats your favorite season?

Fall always! I love the season i was born in (i heard thats usually a proven thought) and even tho its moving into dead winter, it feels like new beginnings and a clean, fresh start because school used to start for me around then and its my bday in fall too so its like new school supplies? Presents? Money?? Amazing. This will surely change my life for the better! And all of this ruin and pain will fall behind me cuz i have new clean fresh pens and a new journal and a new schedule i know ill just drop after a month ! (Digital planners saved me sm omg)

But i also love every season and the poetry and meanings and atmospheres they bring. I always get so sad in the winter, but that sadness and pain being surrounded by so much joy and brightness and christmas lights and a hazy glow makes a good contrast for poetry and your own depression so 🤷 spring is new beginnings. The contrast between winter and spring and meaning new life and the dead rotting and turning into something that helps the fertilizer grow is such a strong concept for me. Summer being so hazy in the heat with heat lines coming off of the sidewalk, your ice cream melting onto the hot pavement, making it sizzle. The sadness that summer can bring too. The heat and fun and sun that everyone seems to be having while youre stuck inside or watching them through a haze of your own, you want to break the glass between you and the others but its just too thick, so you just slam on the glass, yelling, hoping that someone, anyone can hear you on the other side.

Back to fall - Now my bday just makes me sad 😔 whats funny is that it usually still feels like summer when its my bday, so its like im still in that hazy summer, preparing for the winter and dead leaves on the ground that are pronised every year.

From this ask game - get to know me! 💖

[toasted-spiders]

it turns out this wasnt explained but here's why i've been inactive (a real reason that made for a fun blog post)

ive actually been avoiding tumblr for weeks because. [deep breath] i STILL havent watched the new spiderverse movie and my dash IS FULL OF SPIDERVERSE CONTENT

why is it full of spiderverse content? cause im a dummy. i followed all the spiderverse tags in may because i was super super psyched. i just didn't KNOW that i wasn't going to watch the movie until [checks date] until OVER A MONTH LATER.

but so many people watched the movie the day it came out. and they were posting about it. a lot.

at first i was like ok thats fine, i can still use tumblr, i will just wade through all the cool spider-punk fanart - BAM!!! HUGE SPOILERS ABOUT THE MAN HIMSELF O'HARA

^ also it was accompanied by this image which is scary enough on its own thanks

I WAS HORRIFIED!

"so why don't you just unfollow the tag spy?" you ask reasonably, sipping juice from your #1 MUTUAL mug.

ok but that would require going near the posts to which the tag belongs. being able to see that post. clicking on the spiderverse tag. being able to see what's in the spiderverse tag. and then clicking unfollow,

and then repeating the process for all the other spiderverse-related tags i have followed. which is oh yeah EIGHTEEN. (or something.)

the risks are too high. the stakes, too great.

"but spy, you could still post things by going directly to your drafts folder," you reason reasonably.

i COULD. yes. certainly.

i COULD if me-from-several-weeks-ago had realized that if i save 40-odd posts to my drafts every day, in less than a week i would arrive at the Point Of No Return (To My Drafts Folder). thats 388 drafts, guys. what am i supposed to do with three-eighty-eight drafts? drown?

[steeples fingers] in conclusion, i will not be returning to tumblr until a) i have watched across the spiderverse and b) i can get over my visceral terror of the three-eighty-eight.

gasp good news! one of these will be easier than the other because

I'M GOING TO SEE ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE IN THEATRES IN LESS THAN AN HOUR

my mom actually told me WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS POST that my dad booked the tickets so i will FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT'S UP WITH MIGUEL O'HARA <- that last part was not her words

like i remember him from the first movie's post credits scene? he was so funny?? the part in '67 had me like "omg 😂😂" because that happened before we started using skulls and also i really loved this new spiderman ok,

but now he's SCARY? and also (aforementioned mild spoiler incoming) not really spiderman?? so i wa

wait wait oh crap

the movie's in LESS THAN AN HOUR!!

YEAH I GOTTA RUN BYE

[elfwreck]

Leverage Fic Nate-El-Soph

This was a bit I started on Tumblr a while ago and saved out into the WIP folder. Excerpt (omg my verb tenses are all over):

---

When Nate stops pacing and moves toward the liquor cabinet, Eliot moves. He grabs Nate by the lapels and slams him (gently) (...mostly gently) up against a wall and says, “STOP.”

Nate looks up at him, something wild and lost in his eyes. Whatever happened with Sterling, it was big. Eliot didn’t think it was about a case - Nate’s calm about case work; he’d’ve come in telling Hardison research-this and find-me-that, and asking Sophie if she spoke Turkish or something like that. This was personal, and Nate was terrible at personal.

The lost look was fading and Nate’s gaze flickered to the left, and he was starting to get that look again, the one where he was about to start bullshitting them all as he reached for a bottle. Fuck that.

Eliot slammed him to the wall again. (Gently.) (...Mostly gently.) Nate went still, stopped moving, but. Eliot couldn’t tell if he was actually calming down or about to make a run for it. He pressed closer, not giving Nate any chance to dive for the liquor cabinet or the front door, and heard Nate’s breath hitch.

That was... a very distinctive kind of hitch.

Eliot pushed even closer, slowly, as he said, “Look me in the eye and tell me to stop if you don’t want this.”

“I don’t want this,” Nate said reflexively, as he looked the floor.

“Look me in the eye,” said Eliot again. Nate twitched his head no, just once, and Eliot leaned even closer to whisper in his ear. “Is that ‘no, I don’t want this, or ‘no, I can’t say it to your face?’“

Nate shuddered, a full-body ripple, and Eliot instinctively pressed against him to feel all of it.

Nate twitched sharply and looked up. “Sophie---”

And yeah, Sophie was right here in the room, and Eliot didn’t know what he was thinking (he wasn’t thinking; thinking wasn’t his long suit)--

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” Sophie’s soft drawl came closer. “This is a... fascinating turn of events.” She reached Eliot’s side, and Nate was looking at her, couldn’t turn away. Eliot could hear the smile in her voice as she leaned close and whispered, “I want to watch.”

Nate closed his eyes and made a single, choked whimper, and that was too much, Eliot had to taste that--

[froghwon]

ALRIGHT I’VE HAD ENOUGH SLEEP TO FUNCTION AS A HUMAN BEAN, and im ready to talk about the amazing time i had seeing svt yesterday!!! 😊😊

i took some videos from the concert and saved them to this google drive folder for anyone thats interested: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1955YuE8GkDD6jw3XOwkDn5iDGaIvaf2_?usp=sharing

i’ll keep them in there until i see sunmi in september ^^

Ok rant starts below the read more :]

pre-show

got to the venue early to buy merch :]

waited in line for 45 mins :’’) but managed to get a cute crop top + a pc pack ^^ (apparently jun wore the crop top during the encore??? love that for us <333)

went to a nearby cafe that was doing a bday event for scoups for snacks <3

tripped on a curb while walking around, and ate concrete hard 🤡🤡🤡 had to ask the employees at a boba shop for a bandaid >.< (reason why my body hurts today #1)

MET UP WITH A LOVELY ANGEL BEFORE THE SHOW 💞💞💞💞 miss Lissa, aka @wonheons

the concert itself

the setlist was so good omg!!!!! a lot of the songs they did were fan faves and/or songs i just LOVE <333 i mean they did mostly title tracks obviously, but they did march and shadow, my fave songs on the FTS!!!! 🥰🥰

performance unit did my fav perf u song, moonwalker, the first half was rearranged to be slower, and it was ~sexy~ ^^

hhu did my fav hhu song, gam3 b01!!!! the hype was sooo real

other songs that made me go fucking ape: hot, hit, aju nice back it up, left and right, and mansae

they did aju nice in the middle, so i was worried we wouldn’t get a neverending aju nice encore, but i was fortunately proven wrong :’’)

vocal unit did a rearranged version of come to me which was absolutely gorgeous 😌

also they did imperfect love (which is not really one of my favs) and right before the bridge they’re like “come on~ you know the words, sing along!” and i felt like a highschooler being unprepared for a pop quiz like no the fuck i do not sdncksndjfkn the romanized lyrics on the big screens behind them was no help whatsoever LMAO :’’)

at the end when the lights go went down and we were chanting for an encore, my voice is absolutely shot and cracking in the middle of my screams :’’) (reason why my body hurts today #2)

the boys come to the part of the stage that’s closer to my seat, so i throw up a scrolling sign on my phone screen that says “ 부석순 2022!” (BOOSEOKSOON 2022!) in hopes that they see it, and it lights a fucking FIRE under their asses, c’mon fellas, the year is already halfway over!!!!! >.< (reason why my body hurts today #3, my arms are so sore fuck + i have a bruise on my right shoulder from falling before the concert, so it hurt to sleep on my side </3)

they did a few songs for the encore, ending with the never ending aju nice chorus (+ sometimes the bridge) and i fully went mental kjdfnksdskf jumping up and down and screaming omg (reason why my body hurts today #4) 

tldr: svt are absolutely incredible live performers (no surprise there), but getting to experience the music and see them live in the flesh, is just inexplicable 😌😌 no videos or online concerts can replicate that same feeling of excitement and connection 💗 you’d have to experience it for yourself to know >.< so i cant WAIT for the next opportunity to see them live again!!

[journalofsorts2]

okay, happy(er) post time. before everything leading up to the last post i saw a tiktok where the audio was truth hurts by lizzo and it sent me back in time. okay so before i finally downloaded tiktok (cause i used to be one of those people who were like 'tiktok is overrated' or whatever) i spent like all of my free time on instagram and my saved folder consisted of two things, art i liked, and edits. and there was this one edit of katara that i saw that i loved so much that had truth hurts in the background and it was one of my favorite edits ever. then shortly after i found that edit i got sent to a psych ward (nbd i think i've already talked about it, if not it's a post for another day). but while i was in the psych ward i couldn't have my phone and my activity choices consisted of: coloring shitty coloring sheets with dulled markers (we weren't allowed to have pencils), watching whatever they ended up putting on tv (when i first got there they were half way through zootopia and it calmed me down a lot), playing with cards (although you had to sort out a full deck first because they had like 3 half decks combined into one and whenever you sorted them they would put them back in the same stack), or doing origami (they had two origami books and one of them i took over because i did so much origami, fun fact: i actually bought a copy of that book after i got out). and so obviously after a seven (or maybe eight) day stay shit gets boring, and so i would replay edits that i could remember in my head to keep me sane because i got bored really quick, and that katara edit was one that i remembered really well so it ended up being one of the ones i played in my head the most. anyways that's the whole story, pretty boring ig but idk. i have so many stories from that shit hole omg, but that's for another time cause i'm gonna head to bed as soon as this download is done. idk

[lokis-army-77]

Omg can I request some Jay x reader where the reader is part of ALF? I hope thas good enough adhkdkjk (also preferably genderless reader?)

Distractions

Jay (Okja) x Reader (gender neutral)

Word Count: 1454

Distractions aren't allowed and you know it. it was only a matter of time before Jay came to talk to you about them.

Warning: Angst, fluffy end.

Inbox is open

Masterlist Taglist form

Being a part of this team was amazing, saving animals with some of my closest friends was what kept me going. Although I know I am becoming distracted. Distracted by Jay, our team captain and overall head of the ALF. It’s not very professional of me, but I can’t stop my eyes from wandering over to him every second I get a chance. I’ve become a liability in the field and it's been eating me up inside because I know Jay doesn't like when our job isn’t done properly or when we make mistakes. These things usually cause more harm than good. Like the Okja fiasco that happened when K knowingly chose to translate what Mija had spoken.

I have been waiting for the day he notices and kicks me out, strips me of my ALF membership forever. I just never thought that day would be today.

We were on another mission, still trying to take down the Mirando Corporation. While the others were out buying supplies, I was sitting at the small dining table in the Airbnb we were renting out. On a side note, this place was a lot nicer than the roach motels we usually stay at. Papers were scattered over the entire surface of the table, I was looking over the information we had gathered, sorting it into piles to then sort those piles into folders. It was tedious work but it was part of my job.

“Hey, do you mind coming with me for a moment? I need to talk with you.” I was startled out of my thoughts by the voice behind me. Almost jumping out of my chair I turned around to face Jay.

“Yeah, sure.” I agreed, following him through the house, up the stairs, and to the room he had been staying in.

As we entered he closed the door silently, then turned to face me. He was quiet for a moment, sighing as he threaded his fingers through his long black hair. “I’ve been noticing for a while that you seem to not be putting in one hundred percent like you used to.” Another sigh. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what happens when we aren’t on point all the time.”

I just nodded in response, afraid if I tried to speak, my voice would fail me.

“Do you want to tell me what seems to have taken up so much more of a priority than this organization?” His tone wasn’t harsh, but the underlying tone of his words was.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to think of what to tell him without actually telling him that he was what had taken up my attention. “I-I’m sorry,” I finally stuttered out. “I know it isn’t much of an excuse but I’ve just been distracted. A lot on my mind.” I offered a small lopsided smile.

“Yes, I get that, but I want to know exactly what.” He crossed his arms. I took a breath as the rolled-up sleeves of his white button-down traveled further up his arms.

“It’s nothing Jay, really.” Nerves making my voice unsteady.

“Now, I don’t believe that. I thought we all agreed to no secrets except for our names?” He took a step towards me.

“Jay, please. It’s personal, I really don’t want to disclose what it is.”

“I wish you would tell me,” His eyes were soft. “You know that I can’t keep you on this team if I can’t know for sure that you will still be able to do your job with, or without these personal distractions.” He took a few more stems until he was directly in front of me. “B,” he said my code name softly.

“Please, you can't kick me out. This is my life, this team is my life. I don’t know what to do without this.” My hands gestured out widely.

“Then tell me what it is.” He was becoming more insistent.

“No, I can’t.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Fine. You leave me with no choice.” The look on his face as he turned to walk back to the door almost killed me. The disappointment in the eyes of someone I loved. He left me standing in his room, dumbfounded and the fact I was going to lose the job I loved the most, the friends I truly considered family. All because I was distracted by him and I couldn’t admit it to his face lest I ruin our work dynamic with my feelings.

God, my mother was right. Never fall in love with a coworker. It just leads to heartbreak, no matter what route you take. Thinning my options over, I finally came to a decision. I would rather ruin what cordial work relationship Jay and I have than lose my entire family.

Wiping away the tears that had welled up in my eyes after Jay had left, I ran after him.

“Jay, wait,” I called from the top of the stairs. He appeared at the bottom within five seconds. His eyes looked up at me, green and waiting. “You.”

“Me?” He asked, confused.

“Yes, you. You are what has been distracting me, or more specifically, my feelings for you.”

“I- uh. Excuse me?” He seemed to be confounded. “What feelings?

“Well, Jay, it started so suddenly, the feelings of love that flooded my heart and my head every time you were near me. It’s only gotten worse over the last few months. I can’t stay focused because you are always around me and when you are, you consume my every waking thought. I’ve tried, trust me, I’ve tried to stop it. I know these feelings aren’t professional and they have no business displayed so carelessly to you now, but I really don’t want to lose the only family I have now because I happened to fall in love with you and didn’t want to tell you. So I am willing to bear my heart and put my feelings on the chopping block. If this changes how you view me from now on, then so be it, but please don’t kick me out, I'm begging you.” And there it was. I poured my heart and soul out to him on those stairs, my voice was raw from pushing through the tears and the ball forming in my throat.

He didn’t say anything for a long time. He just stood on the bottom step, leaning with one hand on the banister. The house was so quiet I was afraid he would be able to hear the pounding of my heart loud and clear. The only movement he made in those hour-long minutes was to run his fingers through his hair again, something he did when he was thinking.

“You, me?” I had never heard him so lost for words. He pointed a finger up at me and then turned it back on himself.

“Yes. I love you.” I confirmed his selectively worded question.

Slowly he started to ascend the stairs. I watched wide-eyed as he stopped on the stair below me, we were now almost at eye level. “Can you uh, can you say that again?”

“I love you?” No sooner had the words left my mouth than he had my head in his hands and was bringing me into him. A shocked gasp left my lips as they met his.

They were softer than I had imagined, and so was his hair. My hands had wrapped around his neck, fingers curling into his hair. I could feel his thumbs caressing the sides of my face as he kept kissing me.

I pulled away, only for Jay to follow me. “Jay, stop for a second, I need to catch my breath.”

“You don’t know how happy I am to have heard you say that.” He gave me a peck on each cheek. I just raised my eyebrows in question. “I will admit, I’ve had a thing for you since you joined the ALF, but only recently has it turned to something more.”

I smiled widely, hardly able to contain the excitement of my feelings being requited. “Does this mean I can-”

“That you can stay? Yes, but, and this is a big but, you need to try and stay focused on missions from here on out. Just because I run this organization does not mean that I can give you special treatment.”

“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” I exclaimed, kissing his lips in gratitude. He hummed in contentment, moving his hands from my face to where they would clasp around my waist, pulling me forward into him.

Maybe my mother was wrong after all and there is that one small road that leads to happiness.

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 10

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sam helps you out in planning for the launch while Bucky is away.

Word Count: 4.2k (woopsies)

Warnings: SMUT is back, angry unprotected sex, spitting, a tiny hint at scratching and choking, some hurtful words thrown in yada yada yada, kinda intense asjkcackansk

A/N: STRAP THE FUCK IN BECAUSE WE BOUTTA RIDE A DAMN ROLLERCOASTER OMG I’m nervous for this because I found this part very intense while writing it. And I hope it comes across as that to y’all as well because my fingers ached from how hard I was typing this part lmfao. Team Bucky vs Team Reader/Team Sam here we goooo sksksk enjoy

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

You didn't accept Sam's invitation to connect in LinkedIn. Not yet. But it did give you several ideas, like maybe submitting a resignation letter? Get away from Bucky and his toxic ass? He has Mackenzie now, he can easily have her take over your position anyway.

However, you were also torn because you loved your job at Bucky's company. It paved way for you to improve your skills and you experienced a lot of growth too. And well, Bucky's there too but god, you hated him right now. As much as you wanted to wave the white flag, you didn't feel like it was the right thing to do.

You wanted Bucky to learn that not everything he wants, he can easily get. And Mark was right, that you weren't just a trophy employee or whatever. You were so much more than what Bucky probably thinks of you.

And you were going to prove him that.

-

"Hey, Bev. Can you ring up your boss for me? Tell him I want to go over some of the plans I made for the launch before I discuss it with Mackenzie tomorrow." you asked.

Beverly was about to lift the phone up when an unexpected visitor arrived. None other than Sam Wilson himself.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop but did I hear you correctly? You've already made some plans for the launch?" he asked with interest.

You chuckled, "Sort of. Well, it's a rough draft of my ideas. I just thought it would be nice to get a headstart." you admitted.

Sam nodded and was about to say something when Bucky stepped out of his office, his brows furrowing upon seeing you and Sam conversing. Bucky eyed you before glancing over at Sam, patting his shoulder gently as a greeting.

"You checking up on us or what?" Bucky teased with a chuckle.

Sam shook his head, "Not really. Well, kinda. I figured that another presentation would be unnecessary, I mean. I'd love to work on the launch with your team instead of being on the sidelines for approvals." he admitted.

You shrugged, "I think that's a great idea too. Less time to waste, less back and forth." you pitched in.

Bucky frowned a bit, his jaw clenching at how you backed up Sam immediately. "That's fine, but I have a meeting in a few. Might last the entire day. Mackenzie won't be here until tomorrow too." he said.

"She and I can discuss her plans today and maybe I can pitch in some of my ideas too. She can present them tomorrow to you and Kenzie." Sam suggested, gesturing over to you.

Bucky stared at you and Sam alternately, his hands balling into fists at his sides. You could see his internal struggle about leaving you and Sam to discuss about the launch, without his presence.

You lifted up the folder in your hand, "I wanted to go over these plans with you but I didn't know you have a meeting. Sam and I can just refine these today, would save us a lot of time. We don't want to be rushing anything for this project at the last minute." you told him.

Bucky swallowed but nodded anyway, albeit with hesitation, "Yeah. Of course. I'll just catch up on the both of you later."

And with that, Bucky walked away but not without sparing you and Sam one final glance. His eyes met yours for a brief moment and you weren't sure, but you saw a flash of worry in his eyes before it was immediately replaced by his usual stern, ice-cold gaze.

You turned to Sam with a smile, "We can discuss in the conference room." you said and led the way.

-

The planning was seamless and you were surprised that you had so much fun exchanging ideas with Sam, to the point of almost forgetting about lunch break. It was quarter past noon when the both of you realized that it was way past lunch time.

"Do you want to grab lunch or order something instead? I honestly hate working lunch, just so you know." Sam said with a laugh.

You groaned, "I hate that too, honestly." you admitted with a chuckle.

Sam nodded, "Great, we can head out for a quick lunch?" he asked.

It didn't even cross your mind to hesitate, so you immediately agreed and even asked if you can take Beverly with you. You'd grown somewhat attached to her in the short time you've known her. Poor kid was being treated like an outcast by the other office girls. She always waited for you to have your lunch break too, especially that Mark has been pretty busy lately.

Sam was kind enough to agree about including Beverly for lunch. The two of you were about to head out of the conference room when Beverly peeked in, worry etched all over her face.

"I need your help." she whined, "I think I messed up Sir James' schedule. Mister Nakajima is on the phone and said that he's going to be an hour late for a meeting today. I forgot about Sir James’ meeting with another company today!" she explained, almost close to tears.

You rushed over to her and held her shoulders, "Hey, calm down. Did you tell Mister Nakajima?" you asked.

"I did and he got mad at me! Today is his only free day and he said that if he doesn't meet up with Sir James, the deal is off." Beverly said, stomping her foot on the ground.

You heaved out a sigh, knowing that the deal was very important. Mister Nakajima owned an auto manufacturing company which produces world-class materials for cars. Bucky had been working on convincing Mister Nakajima to be his permanent supplier for quite a while now. Big fucking deal.

You looked back at Sam, "Hey, I'm sorry. Can you give me a couple of minutes?" you asked with an apologetic expression.

"Take your time." Sam nodded with a smile.

You went over to Beverly's desk and took over the phone call, without knowing that Sam trailed behind you. He watched you carefully as you talked to Mister Nakajima, your demeanor calm yet confident.

"Hi, Mister Nakajima. I'm the company's Marketing Head and I would like to apologize for the mix up. Bucky has been working really hard on improving the quality of our products, he's been in meetings in and out. That being said, would it be alright if I take over this afternoon's meeting instead? Bucky worked on an amazing presentation and I honestly would love to go over it with you and just show you how this partnership would be beneficial for both our companies." you asked.

Fortunately, you were able to appease Mister Nakajima while also saving Beverly's ass for her honest mistake. As soon as the call was done, you reassured Beverly that everything was fine now and that you'll take care of Bucky. By the time you looked back at Sam, he was merely smiling at you.

"You're really good with people."

-

Lunch break passed by quickly, with you, Sam and Beverly engaging in all sorts of conversations. Even Beverly felt comfortable being around his presence. He mainly talked about his experiences at his first job, giving Beverly a couple of tips on how to navigate through the corporate world.

Sam was very kind.

The planning resumed after lunch and by the time Mister Nakajima and his associates arrived, the launch plan was pretty much refined with a lot of details. Sam excused himself to give you time to meet with Mister Nakajima, however, he said he'll be staying until Bucky comes back.

Presenting to Mister Nakajima made you nervous as fuck, especially that he didn't really work closely with you which might affect his decision. Luckily though, you knew Bucky's presentation like the back of your hand due to the fact that he had gone over it with you for a couple of times back when the two of you were still, well, fucking around.

Ah, the good old days.

The meeting with Mister Nakajima went perfectly well because as soon as you were done with the presentation, the old man simply asked for the contract to seal the deal. Although it wasn't you who actually worked on the deck, you had a sense of fulfillment. You were proud of yourself and you couldn't wait to dangle it right in front of Bucky's face.

"Thank you so much, Mister Nakajima. We are excited for this partnership." you said happily as you led him and his associates out of the conference room, just as when Bucky arrived.

He looked confused when Mister Nakajima greeted him happily, shaking his hand and telling him how good his presentation was. Bucky looked over at you, as if asking what the hell was going on. You merely shrugged and headed back inside the conference with Sam.

Bucky followed shortly and for some reason, he looked agitated. He was about to speak up when Sam beat him to it, giving him a hard pat on the back.

"The launch event is gonna be really good." he said confidently before glancing at you.

"You're lucky to have her, Bucky." he said before bidding goodbye, giving you one last look and a wink as well, something that Bucky immediately noticed.

When Sam left, so did the light atmosphere inside the conference room. Bucky turned to you with a scowl, his footsteps rushed and heavy as he approached you.

"What the hell happened with Mister Nakajima?" he asked gruffly.

You smiled as you handed him an envelope, "The partnership is a go. He signed the contract and his team will be keeping in contact with us and our factory soon." you explained proudly.

Bucky took the envelope from your hand and went through the contract before placing it back on the table. "I thought my meeting with him isn't until Friday."

"Beverly mixed up your schedule and before you even reprimand her, give the girl a break. It's her first job and with the amount of meetings you've been having, mix-ups are inevitable. What matters now is that I took over the presentation and Mister Nakajima signed the contract." you explained with nonchalance.

Bucky shook his head, "The end does not justify the means." he said. "Beverly should have been careful. My schedule is not a joke and if I miss another important meeting, that can fuck up the entire company."

You rolled your eyes, "Calm down, Beverly surely learned from today's mistake. It's done. The deal is on. Everything is peachy. The launch details have been planned out, Sam is happy with it. All I have to do is to secure your and Mackenzie's approval for it and then we can start with the execution. You're welcome." you said all in one breath, handing Bucky a USB containing the details of the launch.

You brushed past Bucky to leave the conference room but you were immediately pulled back with his hand around your arm. He looked down at you with an angry look on his face, almost fuming. You couldn't understand why the fuck he was so aggravated with you today. Sure, he had been testing your patience lately but it was the first time he actually looked like he was going to snap.

Not at the situation, but at you.

"Are you trying to impress Sam? Taking on my responsibilities while he's around?" he asked, eyes narrowing at you.

You scoffed, unable to believe what Bucky was accusing you of. Pulling your arm back, you took a step back and looked at him with disgust. "You're unbelievable, Bucky." you said.

"Had I not stepped in, we would have lost the deal. You promoted me for a reason, and I believe part of it is my leadership skills. And no, I'm not trying to impress Sam. I'm simply doing my fucking job." you hissed and tried to side step Bucky, only for him to block your way.

"Did he offer you a position in his company? What the fuck was the wink all about?" Bucky accused yet again.

"Oh my god, Bucky! You're blowing things out of proportion. He didn't. We talked about the event. That's it." you explained, pinching the bridge of your nose because Bucky was getting on your very last nerve.

Bucky had been fucking with you too much now and you could feel the last bits of your composure slowly slip away with every word that was coming out of his mouth. Coming for your job was one thing, but accusing you of flirting your way to another company? That was a low blow.

"Don't lie to me, I saw the notification on your phone the other day. Seems to me like Tinder matches don't work for you anymore, you moved on to LinkedIn now to find connections instead?" he asked and that particular statement struck a certain nerve.

You let out a bitter scoff, "Do you even hear yourself, Bucky? At least Sam was being professional and didn't use Tinder to hire a fucking consultant to threaten my damn job!" you slipped, unable to hold back.

The look on Bucky's face was a whirlwind of emotions-- shock, wrath, exhaustion-- and you felt like you were supposed to get scared. Gone were the blue orbs that used to make you feel safe, his eyes only held anger in them. And the thing was, your eyes looked the same as you held Bucky's gaze.

You were so fucking tired of everything, of Bucky.

"How did you-- it doesn't matter." Bucky said, shaking his head. "How much did Sam offer you?" he asked.

Your jaw dropped at the implication of Bucky's statement, "You are a fucking asshole, Bucky. Sam didn't offer me a fucking job. You really don't listen, Bucky. You never listen." you huffed out exasperatedly.

"Okay, maybe he hasn't laid down his offer yet. Perhaps, you let him fuck you too?"

Your vision blacked out upon hearing that and by the time you regained your senses, all you could feel was how your palm stung. You had walked up to Bucky and slapped him right across the face, hard enough to make the corner of his bottom lip bleed. Your entire body was trembling from rage as you stood in front of Bucky.

He tilted his head as he wiped the blood off from his lip, looking up at you with lust-filled eyes. And then his hand gripped your neck, tugging you close for a bruising kiss. You grunted against his mouth and pushed him away, slapping him again. Before Bucky could even recover, your fingers wrapped around his tie pulling him down to you for another kiss.

Walls crumbled down, tension was broken and needs were being fulfilled. The rush of emotions blurred the line between fury and lust with the latter obviously winning. All you could think about was the throb that you suddenly felt within your core begging for relief.

Relief that was denied from you for the past few weeks of playing cat and mouse with Bucky.

And with the way Bucky was kissing you, you knew he felt the same. It had been too long and both your minds were too hazy to even care that it was only five in the afternoon and that there were employees working just outside the conference room.

Was the fear of getting caught going to stop you? No, not now. Because you needed release and you were sure as hell going to get it. This wasn't like the other times you and Bucky fucked. You didn't care about Bucky at the moment, how he felt or what was going on in his mind. You just needed to release all your pent up emotions and you were going to use Bucky to get what you need.

Bucky pushed you against the table, your tailbone hitting the edge with such force that made you groan from pain.

"Yeah, why don't you make some noise so everyone can see how fucking needy you are for me?" Bucky growled, gripping your face with one hand, forcing you to keep your eyes on him as his other hand bunched your skirt up to your waist.

You let out a chuckle, "I'm not the one going to make noise here." you warned before reaching down to palm his erection.

Bucky hissed and bit his lip hard to prevent himself from eliciting a moan. His jaw ticked as he squeezed your face tighter, forcing you to open your mouth as his eyes scanned your features.

"Watch your fucking mouth, baby. I still own you, you're fucking mine." he said through gritted teeth, his eyes lidded as he looked down at you like a predator.

You kept your mouth closed but as soon as Bucky's fingers found your damp panties, you weren't able to stop your whimper. Bucky took the opportunity and spit in your mouth before crashing his lips against yours in a messy kiss. It was all tongue and spit, the way he kissed you as his fingers rubbed at your folds through the thin fabric of your underwear.

He kissed you like he owned you.

"I'm not yours, Bucky." you said as your hands quickly unbuckled his belt, unzipping his trousers and pulling out his hard cock from the confines of his boxers.

The groan that reverberated from Bucky's chest as you stroked him made you smirk. His hand on your face slid down to your neck, holding you tightly as he pushed aside your underwear and then he slid into you with no prior warning. The lack of foreplay made it hurt when he bottomed out, but the pain quickly turned into pleasure when Bucky started moving his hips against yours.

No words were further exchanged from then on. Only soft whimpers and hushed grunts could be heard. However, it was clear that even up until now, there was competition. You didn't want to make noise, didn't want to lose to Bucky. You didn't want to give him the pleasure of knowing how fucking good he was making you feel right now, with how each drag of his cock was making your toes curl inside your heels.

Your hands held onto his broad shoulders as he fucked you against the table, the fabric of his suit bunching up against your fingers. Bucky kept his gaze on you and not once did you falter, not even when the tip of his cock hit your cervix, almost punching the air out of your lungs.

Bucky held the back of your thighs and lifted you up, sitting you on the edge of the table and bending forward so he could angle his cock in a way that you would feel it deep within you. Your legs automatically wrapped around his waist, one of your hands scratching at his jaw as he continued to pound your sopping cunt.

"God, fucking missed this pussy. Can feel you clamping down on my cock, you gonna cum soon?" he asked, pressing the tip of his nose against yours.

You clamped a hand over your mouth, muffling the wanton moan that Bucky pounded out of you. Not wanting to be the only one to make noise, you clenched around him hard. Bucky let out a growl at how your walls squeezed his cock, his balls tightening as his own orgasm approached.

"Cum for me, Bucky." you whimpered, tipping your head up to lick at Bucky's mouth as your legs tightened around his waist to pull him deeper into you.

Bucky exhaled heavily through his nose, the veins on his neck popping out as he fucked your harder on the table. He kept his hand wrapped around your neck while the other held onto your waist so tight, you could feel his fingers digging deep into your skin. Even with your clothes on, you were sure that you'll be getting bruises from how hard his grip on you was.

"Go on, Bucky. Want your cum inside, want to feel you fill me up again." you moaned against his parted lips, darting your tongue out to taste his mouth.

The needy tone of your voice sent Bucky to the edge first. He uttered a string of curses under his breath as ropes of his cum painted your walls with their warmth with triggered your orgasm. Your body convulsed as waves of pleasure ran through your veins, starting from your fingertips down to your toes. Bucky kissed you and swallowed your moans as his thrusts slowed down.

It took a while for the both of you to recover from the intense fucking. Bucky nuzzled your neck with his nose, his heavy breaths warming up your sweaty skin. There was a short moment of peace that followed, the tension gone and was replaced by a heavy feeling.

You swallowed hard and slowly regained your senses. The release cleared your mind and the memories of the heated exchange from earlier were quick to come back. Bucky's accusations echoed in your ear and they were so clear it almost felt like he was saying them to you again.

Suddenly, you doubted Bucky's intentions when he promoted you. Was he really impressed of your skills at work or was it because you let him fuck you?

"Get off of me." you said, pushing at Bucky's chest until he straightened up.

Ignoring the emptiness you felt when his cock slipped out of you, you hopped down from the table and started fixing yourself. In the many times you had slept with Bucky, it was the first time that you felt disgusted with yourself.

You turned your back to Bucky as you adjusted your underwear, pulling down your skirt and pressing your palms against the fabric to iron out the creases. Your breath was heavy as you processed what had just happened. And just like that, your reserve broke and the strong facade you had built crumbled down into pieces, leaving you vulnerable.

"Hey, are you okay? Did I hurt you?" Bucky suddenly asked when he heard your sniffing, the darkness in his features gone.

His eyes were back to blue and there was nothing but genuine concern when he saw the tears in your eyes. Bucky tried to approach you but you quickly backed away from him, your arms wrapping around yourself as protection.

"Did you hurt me?" you scoffed. "In more ways than one, Bucky." you quickly added, wiping away your tears hastily with the back of your hand.

You were about to walk out of the conference but decided that it was probably time for you to actually speak up about everything. How you felt for him and how much you hated him for coming at you like that.

"I was going to admit that I like you. I thought about it and figured that I was too proud and a bit selfish for not considering your feelings when I rejected you." you explained.

Bucky blinked in confusion, "What? When?"

You shrugged, "The day you brought in Mackenzie. And I was more hurt than mad that you did that. Because you knew how much this job means to me and you had used it against me. You basically took advantage of my weakness, for what? To get me to cave in? Even when I clearly told you how fucking scared I was of the consequences of whatever kind of relationship we have?" you huffed out.

You didn't allow Bucky to speak, not yet. Not until you were done making him understand why you had been so hell-bent on keeping things professional.

"I wasn't born into a rich family like you, Bucky. I had to work my way up to where I am. Unlike you, I have a family to support and if I lose this job, it's not only me who would suffer. And it won't be easy for me to find another one, not after the reputation I'd have once we get busted." you further explained.

"I told you about it so many times and I wish you listened. Because maybe we could've figured shit out. Or I don't know, maybe the fucking was too good and you only wanted me for that." you shrugged.

Bucky quickly shook his head, "No. God no, you're more than that."

You chuckled again, a fresh wave of tears flooding the corners of your eyes. "It most definitely felt like it when you accused me of fucking Sam."

"Fuck, I'm sorry. Let me explain, please? I didn't mean to, I was too--"

"No, Bucky. You didn't listen to me when I told you how I felt about us. Now you're going to know how it feels to not to get what you want." you sternly said before walking over to the door.

You turned back at Bucky and refused to let his expression get to you. He looked devastated, his eyes glassy from the tears he had been holding back, his lips parted as he finally realized what he had done.

"Expect my resignation letter by tomorrow. As soon as we're done with the launch, I'm out."

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag @weird-mumbling @propertyofpoeandbucky @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mostly-marvel-musings @squishybabies @megzdoodle @suchababie @annathesillyfriend @xhollycowx @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @5-seconds-of-mendes @gogolucky13 @countonthesun @iloveshawnieboi​ @learisa @borikenlove @scarlet-natasha89

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @im-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman @reidbuck @lizzarooni @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky​

[itsallyscorner]

Hello, i saw that your request are close atm.😌 but can I request in advance? 😂 (mix!reader) where tom is reacting to fan made videos of the reader and he keeps on fanboying or something and ended up having her as his lockscreen🙃 if it make sense haha. (It just went to my head and share it with you🤓🥰) LOVE YOUR STORIES and i KEEP on re-reading them over and over💕 love lots and I’ll keep supporting you and your stories✨ have a great day

I’m pretty sure this is the request that one anon was referring to! Thank you for the love and support on my blog💕 Once again, sorry for the long wait! I hope you like it💖

💌.

Fanboy

I wanted to make this a headcanon because there’s just too many scenarios of Tom being a fanboy in my head that I can go on for days😭

If we haven’t established it enough on this blog: Tom is a hardcore and very proud Mixer.

Especially with you in the band, Tom’s support for the girl group was above and beyond.

We love a supportive boyfriend🥺

Obviously, you are his favorite member in the band.

He’s told you straight up that you were his favorite. It was also no secret because everyone knew of his crush on you even before the two of you dated.

He even exposed himself during interviews when asked who his celebrity crush was.

“My celebrity crush? (Y/n) (L/n) without a doubt.”

“You didn’t even hesitate to answer that.”

“Why would I? She’s always been my celebrity crush, she’s gorgeous and hilarious.”

His friends and family enjoyed taking the piss out of him. They constantly teased him about how whipped he was for you.

They pointed out how he would follow you around like a lost puppy and look at you as if you hung the moon and the stars in the sky.

As much as he hated the teasing, he knew they were all right.

He was absolutely in love with you. You were it for him. (Yes I’m quoting Cherry, leave me alone pls)

“Tom, you’re such a simp for (y/n).” Harrison teased him one day.

“Yes and what about it?” He would immediately answer back. Sassily, might I add.

Although Tom wasn’t that big with PDA, he never hid the way he felt for you.

He posted pictures of you on Instagram and freely talked about you during interviews or to anyone in general.

He would also promote the band’s new album or publicly congratulate you guys after winning an award. He’d be so cute, he’ll praise you guys and write about how proud he is of you and the girls🥺

Everyone knew about your relationship, but you guys weren’t the kind of couple to constantly post about your relationship on social media.

It wasn’t a secret but it was lowkey to the point where your relationship had privacy from the nosy world.

But basically, yes, everyone was aware of how much of a simp and major fanboy Tom was.

Many fans caught him liking fan edits of you on Instagram and Twitter.

There were also edits of you he found on Tiktok, but those likes were never found lmao.

Though you weren’t as aware as the fans of him looking at fan edits of you.

Tom enjoyed watching edits of you. Especially when he was away for filming or when you were on tour.

He literally has a folder on his Instagram to save all of his favorite fan edits of you to.

His favorite edits are the ones that show how cute and wholesome you are, the thirst edits, and his most favorite, the crack head edits.

Tom literally goes to YouTube and searches for these videos.

(Y/n) (L/n) being the baby of Little Mix for 10 minutes.

Funny (Y/n) (L/n) moments that butter my quakson.

(Y/n) (L/n) being clumsy on stage for 15 minutes straight.

(Y/n) (L/n) being unintentionally beautiful.

(Y/n) (L/n) moments that make me question my sexuality

You get the gist.

Sometimes you’ll catch him staring at his phone, smiling or biting his lip, while a song played over and over again.

That was just him watching an edit of you repeatedly but you didn’t know that.

Omg why do I see him saving one of those edits from TikTok as a live wallpaper and making it his lockscreen?

Which would probably be how you found out about his little fanboy secret on his phone.

“Darling, can you pass me my phone please?” He asked you from the kitchen. You took his phone from the coffee table in the living room and went to where he was.

Maybe your thumb was pressing down on the screen making the live wallpaper move. You know how it makes your phone like vibrate or something? Yeah, you felt that.

So you looked down and suddenly his wallpaper turned into clips of you. You stopped midway just to watch it.

There were clips of you from music videos, interviews, performances, and even red carpet events.

It was like one of those “play date” edits that were trending around TikTok.

Tom comes out to check on you only to find you smiling at his phone. His eyes widen when he sees what you’re looking at.

“I—uh, I can explain!”

He thought you would find it weird and creepy of him to have a live wallpaper of you as his lock screen.

But you didn’t find it weird, you thought it was cute and adorable of him. It made you realize how wholesome of a boyfriend he was.

He’s instantly relieved when you tell him that.

You’d ask him where he got it and he would open up TikTok, then open his favorites.

Which exposed him because it’s literally a bunch of edits of you.

“Why do you have so many edits of me?”

He shrugs, “I just like watching them. They also help me when we’re apart. The fans make so many good edits of you, you need to watch them.”

Tom then goes on to show you all the edits he’s saved from TikTok.

You guys cuddle on the couch while going through them.

After you’ve gone through most of the ones from TikTok he would open up Instagram.

“Wait, there’s more?”

“Yes, there’s more. I can make about 5 Marvel length films out of all of them.”

He’d be so adorable and click on specific ones to show you because they were his favorite.

“Ooo, baby let’s watch this one. It’s very cute and my favorite song is in it.”

“Can we please watch the thirst edits?”

“Look, this one’s an edit of us. Aren’t we the cutest couple ever?”

Later on you would admit that you also watch fan edits of him.

“Do you really?”

“Yeah, they always pop up on my feed and I end up going down a rabbit hole of fan edits of you.”

Then you guys would go through your phone and watch fan edits of him.

He’d find a lot of them ‘sick’ and asks you to send them to him.

Now that you both knew about your love for fan edits of each other, you guys would send edits to each other all the time🥺

Sometimes you’ll even share them to your stories.

Tom did this the most with edits of you. When he shared the edits to his story he would add comments like:

“😍😍😍😍”

“My beautiful girl”

“Thank you for making an edit of @yourinstagram just laughing. I’ve been missing her so much and this really made my day x”

*thirst edit of you* “I’m the luckiest man in the world😍”

Tom is just the most supportive boyfriend and your biggest fan.

He could watch fan edits of you all day if he could :)

Tags:

*tags with a cross through them do not work*

Little Mix!reader x Tom Holland Taglist

↪︎ @waxingmoonwrites @slutforsebstan @starslazyandcosy @xkonpinkx @dummiesshort @gypsystuf @kielemarie @wroetospidey @thatgirlangelb @have-aheart @adayasgeorgia @xeniarocks @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @agustdowney @itssmadelyn @tomsirishgirlx @imthebadguyyy @roseke @kaylans-imagines

Tom Holland Taglist

↪︎ @lovableparker @aprettyfleur @sunwardsss @dummiesshort @thotforcriminalminds @cuddlykoala101 @itstaskeen @whoslili @white-wolf1940 @tomsirishgirlx @roseke @kaylans-imagines @spideyspeaches @xxstrangegirlxxx @slutforsebstan

General Taglist

↪︎ @quxxnxfhxll @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @thegirlwiththediary @agustdowney

[girlgrouptrash101]

Lisa (Blackpink) as Your Girlfriend

Request: “HEADCANON’s are my thing. Can I request Lisa as your girlfriend, please?”

A/N: lovesick girls SOTY,,, that’s all i have to say

- C

Get ready to be treated like royalty,, miss manoban won’t settle for anything less when it comes to her baby

Lisa is always romantic, whether its taking you our for a candle-lit, romantic dinner or just staying at home and slow dancing around the living room together

Your guys’ apartment would be the perfect blend of both your tastes, with a gorgeous, retro, red jukebox in the living room that you and Lisa play music from whenever you’re at home

You have a big photograph wall in your room of all the memories you’ve had together,, with most of the pictures being taken by your very own personal photographer Lisa hehe

her camera goes everywhere with her, and she has millions of photos of you that you’ve never even seen, as Lisa loves to keep them to herself so she can look through them when she’s away and misses you

the rest of the pinks are basically your best friends, and they basically knew you before they even met you, thanks to Lisa’s constant gushing over how amazing you are and how lucky she is to be with you :’]

you’re always invited to their shows and concerts,,, and the absolute joy you get seeing all Lisa’s fans scream for her knowing she all yours at the end of the day simply cannot be put into words

on long days before comebacks, you often find yourself heading to Blackpink’s practice room with snacks in hand, reminding the girls to stop overworking themselves and put their health first!

Lisa always teaches you her new dances, even if you have two left feet lol

she loves watching you learn, and after a few months she’s really helped you improve - even if most of you lessons end up to you and her dancing to crazy frog around the practice room like maniacs

the most fun dates!! Like one time you and Lisa went to every single ice cream parlour in your city and reviewed each one to find out which one had the best ice cream around

like YES you were both stuffed and couldn’t touch ice cream for about a month after because you hadn’t recovered... but it was still worth it

the two of you also love to pack a picnic and a blanket, taking a drive out to the big fields in the country side

there’s nothing else around you for miles, just you, Lisa and the sound of birds as they fly by and nest in trees, the two of you just enjoying the blissful break from city life

Plus you get to make daisy chains and talk about the most random things as you lounge on the blanket you packed, completely at ease with life and with one another

you love talking to Lisa so much; your conversation can honestly range from questioning the creation of humanity to talking about your favourite flavour of ice cream (mint choco team rise up)

she always does that little thing with her thumb when she holds your hand, rubbing her thumb ever so softly across the back of your hand and it makes your heart go dsfjksskl

gives the BESTEST hugs ever omg

her head rests on top of yours as she loops her arms around her waist and yours drape around her shoulders, your head against her chest or on her shoulder as she holds you tight against her

also gives A+ cuddles too, she’s like your own personal teddy bear that you can just never pull away from,,, she’s too warm and soft,, you always end up spending hours in her arms whenever you can

INTENSE JUST DANCE BATTLES IN THE LIVING ROOM

rumour has it you almost broke your knees trying to beat Lisa at the rasputin dance - spoiler alert, she still won like she always does jndsfdklds

shopping dates!! which are actually really fun,, Lisa always picks out something for the both of you that’s absolutely ABSURD, and when you go and try it on the two of you end up cracking up with laughter

don’t tell anyone but half the time when Lisa buys clothes for herself she goes for things that you would like in hopes that you borrow them off her... because YOU... in HER CLOTHES... she might just cry uwu

dating Lisa and accidentally becoming a parent to all FOUR of her cats.. good luck i guess xoxo

she loves taking you to Thailand to meet her family, and bringing you to all her favourite spots as a child, wanting to make new memories there with you by her side

she’s also one to show up on your doorstep with two plane tickets and a suitcase packed for you - she doesn’t even tell you where you’re going, but she always has a plan and brings you on the most memorable and life changing trips around the world

she just wants to make so many memories with you and switch things up when you least expect; Lisa loves to keep you on your toes

plus,,,, more memories = more stories to tell your kids when you get to that milestone in the future

which Lisa definitely sees happening, she’s never, ever leaving you behind, it would be a crime to lose a love as strong as yours.

NSFW From Here:

kind of a service top tbh,,, like this girl just wants her baby to be feeling good and satisfied

will have her way with you any time any place though,, like she always catches you so off guard - you could be just cooking dinner and then all of a sudden she’s crept up behind you and her hand is down your pants

“and I’ll do it again” - Lisa after eating you out on the kitchen counter top x

It drives her fucking insane when you moan out her name, and it only spurs her on to fuck you harder and faster, listening to each heavenly scream spill from your lips

less into sending you nudes and more into sending you steamy choreographies that she’d been practicing just for you

Lisa feels the best when she’s dancing, and she knows just how worked up you get when you watch her dancing to something sexy, so she never hesitates to invite you to the practice room when she knows she’s going to be putting on a show

which usually ends up with you against the practice room mirror, begging for Lisa to go harder and harder - probably scaring away everyone else in the YG building </3

definitely has a rainbow coloured strap on because gay rights 

tbh you couldn’t care less what colour it is - you don’t even know anything except Lisa’s name when she’s using it, each thrust driving you closer and closer to that glorious edge

Lisa absolutely LOVES when you take care of her too, especially after a long day of schedules when she just gets to come home and ride your face until she crashes from tiredness

her favourite thing in the world is getting eaten out, her long legs wrapping around your head to keep her close to her core while her head is thrown back in pleasure

i could definitely see her being into wax play too, mainly because she think its so gorgeous,, the hot wax melting onto your skin and creating a beautiful picture on her favourite canvas

Lisa in thigh high boots......... and deep red lingerie........... thinking so many thoughts

absolutely LOVES receiving/sending nudes, and she saves every single one in a locked folder for her to look back on when she’s busy on tour and missing your touch 

and don’t be surprised if you get a facetime call in the middle of the night, filled with Lisa’s whines and moans as she touches herself over the phone, driving you crazy knowing you can’t be there to please her the way she so clearly desires

[foxilayde]

hi congratulations on your shit ton of followers haha!

for the ship game, i’m an aries, short, have long dark hair, and am tiny but loud in general lol. i tend to be pretty good in social situations and i just naturally take charge and am like the mom friend even though i consider myself introverted. in my free time i’m always watching a tv show/movie or reading a book/fanfic. i guess my hobbies include listening to music, going on long walks/hiking, and trying to cook or bake a new dish. i’m not addicted to caffeine (i think? lol) but i have a high tolerance for both caffeine and alcohol so i’m always drinking coffee and tea no matter how late it is. i go down wikipedia rabbit holes way too easily so i have a really weird arsenal of facts in my head at all times and i love reading about things like ancient civilizations or old hollywood and random shit like that. i think my perfect first date is a movie then dinner because i love going to movie theaters and i love trying new restaurants, so combining them is great (and gives you a conversation starter) i hope that’s enough info lmao thank you!

OMG OMG OMG I was so excited to get this because you’re literally the perfect match for my BABY BOYYYY, CECIL!!

Cecil fucking ADORES YOU okay. He believes you to be the most intelligent person he’s ever met and literally always brings you up in conversation when you aren’t around.

“Well, my girl says this…”

“you wouldn’t believe what my girl did yesterday, it was the cutest thing….”

He adores your baking and gives you profuse compliments. He’s never had anything so delicious in his life. He kisses all over your face, getting chocolate frosting on your cheeks and hairline. And when you tell him to “stop! You’re getting me all sticky” his eyes get all squinty with mirth and he goes “Oh yeah?” And puts a lil dollop of frosting on your nose with the tip of his finger. And maybe you have a mini food fight in the kitchen that results in less and less clothing... and frosting where frosting should never go.

He loves watching movies with you on the couch and his head is in your lap while you play with his curls. You got him into more… cerebral entertainment, like documentaries, and he asks you questions the whole time. Sometimes you shush him and other times you indulge him, twisting your fingers in his unruly locks.

How you met:

It was supposed to be a regular errand at the courthouse to file a standard document. But the clerk is giving you trouble.

“I can’t stamp it if you don’t have three forms of ID.”

“Three?!” You question loudly. “My drivers license and Social card aren’t enough??”

She shakes her head, “It’s policy… or if you brought someone with you here today who can verify your identity.”

Your shoulders drop and you sigh loudly. It took two hours just to get to this clerk's window and you’re going to have to repeat the process all OVER AGAIN. You start to gather your papers when someone steps up next to you.

“I can verify.”

You try to school your expression, taking in the disheveled man standing next to you. He’s unkempt in the most adorable way, and he is nodding earnestly at the clerk.

“I’ll sign whatever you need.”

Who IS this guy?

The clerk looks between you both dubiously, shakes her head and pushes a paper towards the man. He thanks her and takes the chained pen to sign his name. You’re trying not to act so surprised as to not draw attention to the absolute stranger verifying your identity.

She stamps your form and files it, you stare dumbly at the odd event.

“You can go, your form will be mailed to you within 8 to 10 business days.” She shoos you off and you take your folder and walk out to the exit, determined now to wait for the adorable stranger who saved you an extra two hours.

He emerges not long after and you catch him by the green canvased shoulder.

“Hey! Thanks… for that.”

“Pretty cool, right? Always wanted to do something like that.”

You bite your lip and shake your head.

“But why? You don’t know me.”

“Yeah… I don’t, I don’t know you… but I’d like to” his voice trails with an animated ease. Oh he’s going to be trouble.

[diningpageantry]

How (Not) To Get a Boyfriend

Chapter 3 of 6 (Archive of Our Own Link)

Read Chapters 1 and Chapter 2

Rating: Teen

Chapter Description: Simon slips up, and hopes it doesn't cost him what little he has built with Baz so far.

Note: haha wow..... ik i haven't updated this fic in two years haha (sweats), but it's back up and running now! i'm working on another project, but while that one's in progress, i'm coming around to finishing this one up! i hope everyone likes it, despite it being a short chapter in itself :)

----------

BAZ

I hadn’t, in any number of years that I’ve been sitting on these platforms, ever thought people would see me smile properly within the realm of my curated image.

Give it to Simon bloody Snow to cock that one up, apparently.

I’d caught it, at first, while watching the upload, tucked into my pitiful childhood bed back at the estate, days after my return to Hampshire. It dropped on a Friday (his usual upload time, too. It’s depressing that I know that).

The smallest shred of me had thought that I could keep my composure while inebriated. I had thought, at least, in the moment that I had maintained my image. Sure, I had figured I made a few, albeit uncalculated, quirks of the mouth, but as the night went on and Snow refilled my glass a few more times, I must’ve slipped.

And, apparently, not only did the camera catch it, but Snow did too.

And fucking amplified it.

My stomach dropped when I saw it. The little zoom in, barely a second of it, of me smiling down at Snow unceremoniously punching a dramatic hole into his sheet of metal, and ripping it a bit more than he intended. And I smiled. I actually cracked a fucking smile.

And he showed it.

In a zoom in.

So here I am, sitting at the kitchen table as my step siblings run about, arguing about something (school age twins will do little else, I suppose), and trying not to drown myself face-first into my mug of coffee while reading the seemingly endless stream of Twitter notifications.

OMG BAZ CRAFTS REAL?????!!!?!??!???!!11!? @baz.pitch @simoncrafts

@baz.pitch can actually smile this is a code red everybody

was someone going to tell me that baz pitch is actually in simon and penny’s house at 3 in the morning or was i supposed to see a gif of him smiling to find out

Dear Lord, some people have already started posting fanfictions.

Maybe I should drown myself. It’ll be so much easier.

I exit out, then pull up Instagram, ignoring the little notification tab as I tap into my direct messages and type out Snow’s username.

There are very few actual messages between us.

There is a few drop down comments from stories that I will absolutely never let anybody on this forsaken earth know that I screenshot and save into a folder, then just a few back and forth from after my trip to London last week. I read through them, trying my best not to seethe.

(simoncrafts): thx for staying to record btw

(simoncrafts): srry abt the hangover too, if you get one

(simoncrafts): think the mix got strong lol

baz.pitch: I am not, but the concern is noted

(simoncrafts): im gonna take that as a “wow thanks for checking in on me simon!”

(simoncrafts): and im going to say wow ur welcome baz!!

(simoncrafts): :)

Bastard.

It was days ago. Back when I was hopeful for something akin to company, or at least human normalcy between us, I suppose. Damn me for being thoughtful.

I type out a message, then delete it before I send, and type out a different one, swallowing sharply before I hit send and settle my phone down face-first.

baz.pitch: I’m not sure who you’re trying to humour, Snow, but I do not appreciate, nor take lightly, my character being shown in a light that I had not approved of.

I sink down further into my seat, staring down at the milky-brown liquid I’ve got in front of me. It’s probably more lukewarm to the touch now. I’ve let it sit for far too long, over the hate-scrolling I’ve set myself onto for all the absolute worst reasons.

Maybe I should be cursing my naïtivity first. For what, even? For even accepting Snow’s offer? For convincing myself that It would be a rightful move on both of our parts?

Fuck all, either way. He’s the one who kept the edit…

SIMON

I should’ve known I fucked up.

Right, well, I thought it was a bit funny. The moment seemed funny–I’d zoomed in on my fuck up, then his face, then my own drunken laugh, so I’d thought maybe it was fine to post.

Fuck me, right?

I’d thought maybe it was just a little fuck up at first, though. Just a little. I mean, probably not lawsuit worthy amount of fucking up, but just enough for possibly something bad happening…

Okay yes. Fuck it. I fucked it up quite a bit, and I know I did, even if I hadn’t thought about it in the moment as something people’d get all caught up in, but the social media sphere has been reminding me all morning that Baz and I’s relationship has gone completely tits-up because of a barely two-second clip.

And it isn’t like the clip has something damning, either. It isn’t his credit card front and back, and it isn’t him plotting the death of a royal figure, either.

It’s him smiling.

And now it’s trending on Twitter.

I can’t stand to look at it all. Gifs, pictures, everything me and Baz are tagged in. Fanfiction links, hastily thrown together fan art. Questions. Loads of questions, many of which too dizzying for me to even put a finger on now (I do not want to answer questions about whether or not I’d snog Baz. For many reasons). I was even thinking, before this, about just shutting my mobile off and tossing it out our seven-stories-up-window.

That was, until Baz’s DM pinged up, and made me want to liquify it then emulsify the bloody thing with my own nervous sweat.

I think I’ll puke into it for good measure.

simoncrafts: look mate, i can explain

(baz.pitch): It better be more than a sound answer, or else I’m putting you on a blacklist

simonncrafts: governmental, or otherwise?

simoncrafts: im kidding please dont block me

simoncrafts: look ok i didnt think theyd go absolutely mad over a little clip of u smiling

simoncrafts: id figured people would find it funny

simoncrafts: you know

simoncrafts: because you dont laugh

simoncrafts: wait no id meant like on camera

simoncrafts: you dont laugh on camera

(baz.pitch): Did it not occur to you that it was for a reason?

(baz.pitch): I’m playing a personality, not a moldable image like you toss about

(baz.pitch): I did not consent to having such footage of me presented, and I expect respect when presenting my face within your videos

(baz.pitch): Remove the snippet from your video immediately

simoncrafts: i am i am im sorry

simoncrafts: im doing it now

simoncrafts: look im sorry mate, i really didnt mean for this sort of reaction

simoncrafts: wasnt thinking, thats all

baz.pitch: When are you thinking, Snow?

simoncrafts: im sorry

simoncrafts: i thought it was sweet

simoncrafts: i didnt mean to baz, im sorry

simoncrafts: please just say something back

BAZ

I’ve left him on Read for three days now.

If I’m being fully honest, the first day felt justified. I had all but turned off my phone and left it where I couldn’t hurt myself further by overlooking pages where I shouldn’t be. There is only so much public humiliation I can physically endure before I throw myself into a lake.

The second day was more so through pettiness. Then Bunce messaged, just so see if I was alive (which, yes, I am. I’m significantly less upset at her, as she definitely had no input onto it, but my bitterness for everyone at the moment is at a solid 2 on my scale, so I gave myself just a few minutes before I’d given her a response). So, surely, Snow is aware that I am still kicking, and that hopefully dove the blade in a little deeper. A tad of salt into the wound of being marked aside, I’d hope.

Or maybe, it’s me who’s overthinking that.

It isn’t like we’re properly pals, or anything. I’m not one of the mates I’d assume he has, given he’s clearly a social butterfly by nature. If anything, I’m a professional acquaintance, and one that he’s justifiably upset at this very moment.

However, do I think he’s thinking about me?

Not particularly.

At least, by the third morning, I had assumed so, given he’s taken the silence so far as a particularly justified means to stop being a nuisance.

I should have filmed something yesterday, but I was in a bit of a stupor and did not want to push myself to even attempt something of quality. I don’t have anything planned, either way.

That’s a lie. I always have something planned. I have a list of topics and information I’d gladly cover, if something in particular isn’t striking my fancy at the given moment, however, I think if I tried to merely start a work, I would most likely just turn my camera off after a minute or two and mope even more than before.

So… I haven’t. Putting me behind schedule.

Fantastic.

The absolute smallest part of me wishes I could throw that into Snow’s face. A full “Look at what you’ve done to me–potentially damaging my entire career.”

But I was petty yesterday, and today I suppose I am just bitter. Or grieving. Whatever that grief may be of (myself? Dramatic).

(When am I not?)

It shocks me, though, when his notification slides down onto my screen. Like he could hear me pity myself from so far away.

(simoncrafts): youve got every right to still be mad and like… i dont know. probably ignore this text and keep going on about your life, but im hoping u dont

(simoncrafts): im really sorry for not asking before posting

(simoncrafts): i shouldve sent u a copy so u could okay it and it was unprofessional of me not to

(simoncrafts): i dont ever really collab so thats really on me not thinking abt it when i should have

I swipe down onto the screen, then let the chat pull up, staring at it with knit brows as I watch his chat bubble dance on screen, then stop when he sees I’ve read his messages. The messages between us are still for a good minute. I wait, then read his messages again, then the three dots reappear.

(simoncrafts): i actually liked working with u ur not as big of an arse in person as i thought u would be

(simoncrafts): i know i cocked this up and u really can ignore me again if u want i get it

(simoncrafts): but i dont want u to think i dont care bc i do and i feel really bad and dont want it to be awkwrd if u ever wanted to come see penny again so im putting this out there

(simoncrafts): i am really sorry, mate

I tap my index quietly against my phone, staring at the screen for an extended pause.

I’m not quite sure how to respond, frankly.

I didn’t want to be hopeful. Maybe to–what–squash my feelings for him? To treat this as something I can force myself to overlook, continue shagging men that fill a void that I’d created in my mind as something unobtainable?

That, when that image of a person I’d created so foolishly as an idea in my mind was something so different, so human up close, and only for him to disappoint me, then I thought I could finally get on with my life?

(If you ask anybody around me, they wouldn’t say these past few days have been me “getting on with my life”. Anything but. Daphne asked if I wanted to go on her morning jog with her today, which I’d known was code for “You look like you haven’t been outside in a concerningly long time, and it won’t be remedied unless you’re dragged out kicking and screaming to all heavens”).

I’m helpless. Beyond repair, apparently. Because even something that I’d most likely stomp out quickly and block over has become me getting weak over. Especially if some measly, pathetic texts can almost immediately tie me back into his good graces…

Who am I kidding? I had felt weak to him apologising the first time around. I am weak.

I pull up my keyboard, then watch the bar blink for a moment before delicately crafting out a response.

baz.pitch: I acknowledge your apology as well as your honesty and respect for my personal choices going forward. While I am still not pleased with your actions, I do not want it unsaid that I appreciate your timeliness in the removal of the snippet that I had addressed in concern.

It reads like a fucking business email. When did I become my father?

I cringe, rereading it then exhaling before I hit send. Better than nothing, I suppose.

He reads it immediately. He must’ve been waiting on the other end…

(simoncrafts): does that mean we’re good then?

(simoncrafts): or like

(simoncrafts): something not with u coming to rip my head off or something?

baz.pitch: Yes, Snow. We’re civil.