#i hate myself why do i have overactive imagination ajdsknajndsk
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#im so sad#it's peyton's 21st birthday today and i cant be there with him bc im still in washington for winter break#all i wanna do is kiss him :( it's been a week since ive seen him meh and i still have 2 wait another week this SUCKS#i was typing out his happy bday text 2 send at midnight and i cried a lil lmao#birth control rly makes me cry a lot more than usual lmfao and by that i mean i used to cry like ......... only during some movies lmfaoefds#also ive just been stressed and kind of nervous abt him going downtown and blacking out from drinking#bc on ur bday people like pump drinks into u and u get a lot of free booze and im afriad he'll overdo it#both bc he's had alcohol poisoning in the past and he might get hurt and he just like .. .. makes dumb choices#obviously he wouldn't cheat but ive seen him do things that are just Dumb while blackout and not at all himself so :(#idk is that a dumb fear i feel like hormones are just making me overly paranoid lmao#and then i just tell myself it's the hormones but then i'll think abt it again in like an hour it's stupid#i hate myself why do i have overactive imagination ajdsknajndsk#time 2 enter the fy luhan archive 2 heal my soul
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