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#i hated drawing the background so I just poorly edited the running guy out
schadenfredde · 1 year
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Stone Ocean finale without context
Unblurred Emporio under cut
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caprica99 · 3 years
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Shadow and Bone rant, because I need it
Shadow and Bone has some incredible potential, both the books and the show, but neither actually lives up to it.
Alina could have been interesting. Cartographer is a rare profession for fictional characters, but in the books/show she's just a beginner (at 17/20 it's understandable). Make her at least 25 with 9 years of experience in the army, give her a promotion with subordinates she's responsible for and you would get a more interesting character who saw some serious shit in the army, acts like a soldier, and knows responsibility. (And maybe wants to stop the war at all cost, utilizing the Fold maybe.*wink, wink*)
It bothered me that we never saw her using cartography this profession that makes her unique for reaching her goals. In the show, she has dreams about the stag. It would have been interesting to see HER figuring out the whereabouts of the stag by using the stag's surroundings like mountains, specific types of trees, topography, etc. Work smarter, not harder.
Diana Bishop suffers from the same passiveness in the first book of the All Souls trilogy, but she actively uses her science historian background and those passages are the most interesting parts of her POV. Alina's interest in drawing and geography would give her a unique personality, and made her relatable to many (see ADoW and history nerds). Many YA heroines have a specific and useful skillset: Katniss-archery, Clary Fray-drawing, etc. Sadly, her entire personality is running away with Mal.
Mal's character feels pointless to me. The story depicts an oppressed minority group with special powers, and their struggles in the world, the heroine and the antagonist are both part of the said minority group, and he's constantly shown to be a bigot against the Grisha, so what makes him so important to the plot? His tracking skills? Give the job to a no-name tracker and I wouldn't miss him.
At least the show made him more likable, but Archie and Jessie still lack romantic chemistry. However his chemistry with his friends Mikhail and Dubrov was spot on, I really liked it. They showed life as a simple otkazat'sya soldier on the front, and their death was painful to watch. I thought that his friend's death would make a bigger impact on Mal, him wanting to get revenge on the fjerdans and end the war at all cost, and saying that maybe Kirigan's plan actually makes sense would make an interesting narrative. (They are at war dammit, there's no black and white only grey.)
Mal and Alina don't act like soldiers in a war-torn country, they act like American teenagers, and it's annoying. The General and Ivan are the only ones who act as soldiers in a 3 front war. When the villain shows the most responsibility in your story you should rewrite your heroes completely, or make the villain your hero.
The show is better than the books. It's a rare phenomenon but it is something everyone agrees upon. To me, the first book reads like a draft the author forgot to expand. The worldbuilding, the Grisha, and the characters were a perfect base to an original fantasy universe, but it all falls flat. The show made it richer by introducing multiple POVs and giving the actors more leeway (Ben Barnes ladies and gentlemen). But in the end, they had to stick to the books.
This is incredibly confusing to me because we have numerous fanfictions about Alina staying at the Little Palace, embracing her Grisha side, helping the Darkling because his plan makes sense, or changing his plan by coming up with a better one, or having dark!Alina etc... Clearly, this is what book fans wanted: giving Alina agency, make her realize that she had to work with the Darkling because she's Grisha too and they have the same goals but have different methods, let her be Professor X to Alexander's Magneto, ending the corrupt and incompetent Lantsov line, anything would have been better than taking Baghra's words at face value and running off.
Change I like: the whole West-Ravka storyline, it made the General decision understandable. Zlatan sold Grisha to the fjerdans, wanted to kill Alina and his actions could have led to a civil war, Kirigan only acted as a general of his time (not 21 century guys, we are talking about the unforgiving 19 century) and besides we only see the destruction of Zlatans army (BTW they were ready to kill everyone on the skiff) and not the whole city.
Change I don't like: making Alina half Shu. I'm not completely against it, but it was poorly executed. The racism Alina faces overshadows the Grisha-hate, rather than complementing it. Alina acts like being half Shu is somehow worse than being Grisha, eventough there are literal Holocausts going on against Grisha in two neighbouring countries, slavery in another, and the show never addresses it. This is the biggest problem with her character, she never embraces being Grisha, sides with the muggles, and makes her mission to kill the only person who stands between Grisha and persecution.
Would have been good: the show could have made little 5 minute scenes depicting the plight of Grisha in other countries. Either at the beginning or the end of every episode.
Episode 2: the Ice Court
Episode 3: the Shu concentration camps with the experimenting
Episode 4: slavery in Kerch
Episode 5: the Wandering Isle with consuming grisha blood
Episode 6: the Demon in the Woods storyline
Episode 7: Luda+Aleksander
And now... The Darkling/ Aleksander Morozov/ General Kirigan: the most interesting character in the entire series.
In the first half of SaB he was depicted as every soldier's dream general. Sitting and eating with his men, fighting side by side with them, constantly checking on his troops while other generals prefer to attend court. But in the second half, he transforms into a Mustache Twirling Villain TM and makes rather OOC decisions throughout the trilogy. He could have been a generic villain from the start, but why make him then a compelling character with understandable motivations?
In the books, I understood his motivations, but in the show, he was completely right. His backstory shows that he tried peaceful tactics but those never worked out. The only thing that worked against his enemies was power and violence. The price of hesitance was Luda's life (I'm willing to bet they were married). The Fold was actually a mistake born from desperation. He spent centuries in hiding, seeing his people persecuted. Even with the Little Palace and the Second Army Grisha are considered second-class citizens, they can't hold properties. He has to walk the fine line between usefulness and being a threat. He has to bow to incompetent Kings who don't give a shit about the state of the country. If Alina had to go through so much how would she end up? Because it's a miracle that Aleksander still has it in him to fight for the Grisha.
Many bring up Nikolai Lantsov as the Darklings foil ( or Diet Darkling as @ambitious-witch calls him) to show there is an alternative to Aleksander, but it's wrong. Because Nikolai was never part of an oppressed minority group, never had to fear centuries of persecution, he's an actual prince, it's easy to not be radicalized with his background.
Bonus: If Bardugo wanted to create a fictional world with tsarist Russia as a base, the least she could have done is to open a Wikipedia page or a dictionary for the correct names and terms. Starkov is a man's name: Alina Starkova is the correct form. Ilya Morozov, Aleksander Morozov, and Baghra Morozova would be the correct forms.
EDIT: They could have shown the building of the Little Palace and the start of the Second Army. I wanted to see the normal life at the Little Palace before Alina came along, little Grisha enjoying their powers, their reaction if the Darkling comes to see their training (I headcanon he visits the lessons at least once a year), the other teachers, and their reaction to Alina. Alina in canon is good with kids, maybe if she had spent time with little Grisha, she could have embraced her powers sooner. Having met with foreigners (Fjerdan, or Shu) and hearing their gruesome accounts of the foreign treatment of the Grisha would made her willing to fight for their future.
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christinaengela · 4 years
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Criticism. As writers, sooner or later we’re likely to encounter it. How we deal with it – either internally or externally – depends greatly on our personality, and also I suppose, on what sort of place we’re in at any particular moment.
Here are some of my thoughts on the subject.
So someone posted a nasty remark on one of your social media book shares, or left a shitty 1 star review and a harshly-worded comment for you on Amazon. You stare at it, re-read it a second time just to try and absorb any sense or usefulness in the words as you fight a rising tide of red anger surging up from your chest area.
Why did they do that? Was the book really all that bad? Was there really something wrong with your writing? How could they be so mean – don’t they realize I pored my heart and soul into this? Is what they said in any way helpful or – no matter how remote – possibly true?
There is a huge difference between someone being helpful (or trying to be) to a writer. “Perhaps you should’ve made the story longer? It was great – just too short!” or “You misspelled ‘bureaucracy’ on page 11!” are examples of positive criticism. My mom always used to praise my writing talent, but frequently criticized my choice in genre – she didn’t enjoy sci-fi – she suggested I write in more contemporary, mundane settings… in genres like suspense, drama, action and adventure! I used to counter with “but I can do that in sci-fi too!”
That sort of criticism is helpful, positive and constructive in nature – and they can be discerned on the basis of their intentions to help the writer to grow or improve their writing, not to break them down for it, or even to cause them to stop writing altogether.
There are numerous and even perhaps unfathomable reasons for people to criticize a writer or their writing in writing – by leaving nasty remarks, bad reviews and even by sending them hate-mail – and on the unhelpful side, they include everything from simple jealousy to disagreement with the writer or their statements, and even disapproval of their subject and the way they address or present it often form part of the motivation for it.
In the following example, a reader downloaded a FREE eBook of mine – a short story called “Death By Vampire”. They left a poor review and a rant on Barnes & Noble.
“This book was only 19 pgs. Had potential. ***spoiler seemed to have a lot of unnecessary information. Also the description of the blood diamonds didn’t make any sense, they are named for their color but the color is green? Needs some editing.” 2 stars – Anonymous
I know this person didn’t actually READ the story, because inside it there was a whole paragraph that EXPLAINED how the aliens called the green stones ‘blood diamonds’ because they had GREEN blood – but it “needs some editing” because he didn’t understand it? All this guy did was expose his illiteracy!
As to length, it was a free short story, but he obviously missed that part too.  Yet that story now has a 2-star review and a snotty comment from someone who obviously has problems with comprehension – and a narcissistic mean streak.
What can I take home from this? Not much – just that some people are basically mean-spirited and will make me the scapegoat for their own failures… but then, being part of an oft-persecuted social grouping blamed for everything from stock-market crashes to natural disasters, that’s nothing new to me. Should I take it personally? I’d like to think not – after all, what real value does unfair criticism really have?
In a technical sense, is there anything I can change or improve on the item involved? Were the words or sentences not clear enough? Were they confusing? Was a thorough spelling and grammar check done during the editing process? I honestly can’t see how I can make the story – or the facts of the story – any clearer without resorting to formatting the eBook using neon lettering, or replacing them with pictures to cater for the illiterate ‘reader’.
Moving on, negative reviews left at book sellers can and do damage a writer’s reputation – and in the long-run, their income. Reviews and ratings affect sales and distribution after all, mainly because readers will be more inclined to look at a book that has a bunch of 4 and 5 star ratings rather than a book that has one or many 1 or 2 stars. Let’s look at an example:
A few years ago I witnessed a writer falling under attack from his former small press, their writers – and everyone else they could rally to their cause. Lies and slander were spread broadly, and I personally witnessed calls being made for their cohort of cronies to ostracize him from the writing community and to even leave negative 1-star reviews on all his books! Other tactics and dirty tricks were employed against this poor undeserving writer, but this one is pertinent to my example. Suffice to say, that writer suffered a breakdown, has disappeared from social media – and hasn’t publishing anything since 2016. In that case it’s safe to say the bullies and haters won.
Any hostile criticism of our work as writers tends to have the potential to cause a writer to doubt themselves. Often that can also be one of the reasons why people leave nasty remarks – the writer or their work has (for whatever reason) offended them – and their intention might be to hurt them out of some feeling of vengeance or satisfaction. Some people, like the unfortunate author in my example are less resilient in the face of such attacks – while others, like me – well, I just don’t care for what the nasties say – anyway, I have more than enough fan-mail and great reviews to compensate. As far as I’m concerned, it’s water off a ducks back – and I’m a very oily duck.
Naturally, there are some things that spring to mind for every writer when faced with stinging and even personal criticism: are they right about me? Are they right about my work? After all, your writing might be utter crap laced with spelling and grammatical errors – and the story might make no sense, have plot holes big enough to drive a bus through, and your characterizations might be almost non-existent – right?
Are these critics giving you advice on how to improve your work? Is there anything of value in their ‘feedback’ you can learn from and use to produce a better story?
If the answer is no, and you’ve reason to believe they’re just being vindictive – such as making personal attacks and indulging in name-calling without giving any serious or pertinent pointers on how to improve your work, then their criticism is actually weaponized hatred intended to break you down! Let’s be honest – when someone criticizes your hard work, your ‘baby’, your pride and joy – it hurts a bit! Part of the answer – not the sum total of it – is of course to grow a thick skin.
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In my particular case, I write in the science fiction and horror genres – as well as in non-fiction from time to time. While a lot of my fiction writing contains the usual sci-fi or horror elements, some of it also focuses on LGBT issues and presents these in a sympathetic and favorable light – which naturally draws ire and derogatory remarks from the prejudiced and bigoted who seemingly can’t resist leaving snotty comments on social media ads or shares of my work.
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It’s not that my work is badly written or poorly presented – it’s that they despise the people I use as heroes and heroines in my stories and dare to explain and promote them in the face of their ignorance and hatred. I defy the established anti-LGBT stereotypes – and I flaunt it. It’s also that, once they do a little background check, they realize that I’m also part of that same group they’ve been programmed to despise! Add to that, once they confront me and I not only stand up to them, but also trounce them in a debate, that really makes them foam at the mouth!
How dare I? How dare I stand in the open, unashamedly writing about people they hate in a good positive way? How dare I not feel any guilt? How dare I even exist?
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In the below example, I held a free e-book giveaway contest in my Facebook author group in August 2016. I gave away a few books to contest winners. Soon after, the South African right wing ‘Christian’ (aka Levitican) community on Facebook went nuts about me promoting ‘demonic writings’, ‘homosexuality, sodomy and demon worship’! It was truly surreal!
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The vast majority of the hate-mail I’ve gathered over the years – and remember the ones I’m showing you in this article are just since the advent of Facebook, from about 2016 or so – have been directed at me for sharing my books or writing or website!
Many of these people express negative ideas and emotions towards me because I’m transgender, a lesbian, an atheist – and because I’ve steadfastly refused to remain silent in the face of the overwhelming wave of hatred looming for numerous diverse minority groups in the world today. This provides one reason – albeit a big one – why most of my hostile critics and haters are what they are, or at least explains why they’re hostile toward me and to my writing.
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My advice when receiving this sort of hate-mail or harsh personal criticism is “take it from whom it comes” – which means, consider who the person is that’s criticizing you or your work, and what their real reasons are for doing so – and give it a value or rating. Is their opinion worth your time? Are they trying to be helpful – or are they simply being hurtful? Should you even take what they say seriously? Should you care? Most of the time I laugh at the voluntary idiocy, poor grammar and spelling in the hate-mail sent my way, and casually toss it in the pile.
I have a use for haters and hate-mail you see, and they’re too obtuse to even realize it.
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By far most of my critics and haters are religious extremist fanatics who engage in lunatic fringe politics and vent homophobic, transphobic and often racist language because they see me as more than just an enemy of their personal beliefs – but the personification thereof.
99% of the time, the people sending me hate-mail or criticizing me as a writer are attacking ME directly as an individual, not the worth or quality of my writing. I’ve also had the occasional odd-ball attack me using the fact that I’m self-published as though it means I’m somehow ‘illegitimate’ and not a ‘real author’, when all this does is reveal their ignorance about the publishing industry.
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Here’s a clue, peeps – if self-publishing was in any way dishonest or dishonorable, I would have nothing to do with it. If was in any way, shape or form embarrassed or ashamed of self-publishing my work – or under the impression that it was in any way inferior to books by the big dogs, I wouldn’t be openly marketing myself or my writing as self-published!
It’s worth mentioning that within that same group of people who’ve sent me outright hate-mail, I’ve yet to encounter a single one who’s actually READ any of my books – they’re people who simply seized an opportunity to vent their hatred for me as a person because at that moment I represented the thing they hate.
In that light, this means that while my writing is good, even excellent, it is in their view ‘rubbish’ because what I write (or what I write about) contradicts their indoctrinated belief structure. To the folks who almost invariably misapply basic English words like “they’re/their/there” and “your/you’re”, I’m a ‘libral dirtbag’, a ‘libtard’, a ‘Christophobe’, a ‘commie queer’ and an ‘atheist fascist’ – and somehow inferior to them, not just because I’m part of the LGBT social group – but because I’m not afraid, acquiescent, silent or invisible.
I remind myself that these same characters tend to treat anyone more intelligent or in any way qualified, capable or talented than themselves – like scientists, doctors, artists – writers – and a variety of qualified professionals the exact same dismissive way – and I see them for what they are.
Over the last few decades of internet use, I’ve accumulated an archive of hateful remarks of all kinds, from people determined to convince me of the validity and value of their ignorance, to those who resort to childish mockery and blatant name-calling. (You can view it here if you like.)
I’ve always lived by the motto “if you piss off the right people, you’re doing something right”!
One fella wearing the crazy-pants ranted about how my children’s book on bullying, “Other Kids Are Kids Almost Just Like You” – aimed to teach children compassion for others – would ‘turn kids gay’ and that it was child abuse and I ought to be arrested!
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So how do I handle hate-mail? Easy. I shrug it off, have a few good laughs – then save it, take screenshots of it – and use it as promotional material! In fact, I actually look forward to getting hate-mail these days!
After all, so many haters can’t be wrong, can they? 😉
I hope you’ve found this useful!
Take care and have a lovely day!
If you would like to know more about Christina Engela and her writing, please feel free to browse her website.
If you’d like to send Christina Engela a question about her life as a writer or transactivist, please send an email to [email protected] or use the Contact form.
Show your appreciation for Christina’s work!
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All material copyright © Christina Engela, 2020.
How I Handle Hate-mail & Criticism As A Writer Criticism. As writers, sooner or later we're likely to encounter it. How we deal with it - either internally or externally - depends greatly on our personality, and also I suppose, on what sort of place we're in at any particular moment.
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thewadapan · 6 years
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I made a full 13-episode animated web series with Plotagon.
Creator’s Commentary
I was just messing around and then this happened.
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I stumbled upon Plotagon via Aris Martinian’s Worm Abridged series, itself a derivative work based on Wildbow’s epic web serial Worm. Impressed by the software’s results, I downloaded it on a whim. The editor soon draws you into its fast and intuitive user interface and before long I had a draft of what would become “I Hate You”.
Having seen Aris Martinian’s work on Worm Abridged and Satan’s Threads, I really wasn’t expecting to produce anything on that level of quality. Instead I saw it more as an outlet - and indeed, the themes of Are You Happy are representative of the kind of headspace I’ve been in. Most literally, a recent falling out inspired the rough outline of episode one.
I’ve gone on a bit of a kick lately in terms of using restrictive programs to tell stories. Plotagon’s plot editor is almost the antithesis of Marvel: Create Your Own (an online comic editor I used to create “Everything Is Red Now”) in that using it doesn’t feel like deliberate self-harm. Making stuff with Plotagon is actually a lot of fun.
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The “movie script” aspect of the editor is inspired and you can hit play at any point to see what you’ve got so far. Sure, there are restrictions - you can only have two characters in a scene, you often have next to no control over camera angles, there aren’t really enough actions (and, to a lesser extent, expressions) to choose from, strange intonation can often ruin the delivery of lines, and most of the program’s assets must be purchased via microtransactions. It’s far from a perfect experience, and yet at the same time I can’t get mad at Plotagon. There’s an infectious, self-aware excitement to be found throughout the developers’ promotional videos, and you can’t help but share that excitement at times.
Plotagon includes its own video-sharing service, which seems to mostly be used by middle-schoolers as a strange kind of social network. I left that aspect of the program alone, choosing instead to render my videos directly to mp4 and thumbnails as animated GIFs (features which feels almost too convenient for this program, but I’m not complaining).
I also chose to ignore the “record your own dialogue” feature and the optional subtitles. A theme I was going for was that these characters struggle to communicate, and the stilted auto-generated dialogue played into that. However, that same awkward delivery ended up making a fair few jokes fall flat. In hindsight I probably should’ve just changed the jokes.
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Plotagon gives you a few characters to start off - four teenagers and two adults in an even gender split, plus Santa. The two adults are Ms. Green, who I forgot to utilise, and Mr. Hernandez. The teenagers are Jessica, Samir, Lizzie, and Scott (the guy Mr. Hernandez picks a fight with in episode two). It also provides “Chris the custom character” as the only editable example.
I messed around in the character editor and created Katia and Philippe, and later made Detective Raymond and the devil (who I dubbed “Literally The Devil”) as the plot demanded. It’s only now that I realise I gave Philippe the same t-shirt and footwear as Chris - oh well. I’m also not really sure why I gave Katia red eyes like LTD.
I’d planned to give Raymond some kind of uniform, but everything good was locked. His strange outfit ended up informing his character.
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Literally The Devil was male at first, basically by default. I soon decided to avoid the traditional slick-hair-and-a-suit look in favour of a fiery haircut and casual clothing. Their t-shirt, which reads “Speak up against bullying!” was chosen on sight. Trying to find a combination of lower-body clothing that worked with this t-shirt proved difficult, and the decision to make LTD female was cemented when I realised that the red skirt looked far better than the other options (although how this turned out at the bus stop was unfortunate). Lizzie clearly had problems with authority, and I liked the idea that she identified with the devil on some level. I guess LTD’s design is just a manifestation of that.
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The decision to do thirteen episodes (the typical length of a “run” of TV) including a three-part finale was made at some point after episode seven, with the death of Mr. Hernandez death serving as a springboard for the rest of the story. Indeed, it isn’t until episode four that we get some kind of explicit continuity. The title of the finale, “The Agenda”, and its inconsistent numbering are a reference to the three-part Season 2 finale of Beast Wars: Transformers of all things.
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Three episodes of the series end with the line “bye Felicia(s)”, and another three end with “well shit”. There’s a parallel where Lizzie expresses disappointment in an authority figure using the latter phrase in her first and last episodes - Jessica’s use of the phrase in episode six is less disappointed and more surprised.
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“White-Hat Hacking” is, incidentally, my least favourite episode of the series. Most background music is available under the editor’s “music” category, but some falls under “sound” for some reason. Once a sound is played, it cannot be stopped manually - this means that the “pirate ditty” I wanted to use for Jessica needed to play for a set length of time and I needed to stall in order to get Raymond’s entrance right. This basically resulted in a bunch of low-effort jokes existing purely to support another low-effort joke - someone getting arrested for piracy.
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Other episodes I rate poorly include episode three, “What Are We Learning Today?”, and episode nine, “Ever Get Tired Of Movies?”. Episode three is barely thirty seconds long and consists of maybe two jokes, and the “well shit” line doesn’t really work in the moment.
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Episode nine, on the other hand, is the third-longest. With Jessica and Lizzie both under arrest I knew I was planning a breakout, so I grabbed two random characters I’d thrown together in the editor and sat them down on a sofa. I guess I find the idea of people watching a movie together occasionally weird, because it’s a kind of social interaction without social interaction (I suppose that’s why it’s such a popular choice for first dates), so I decided to use that as the basis of Katia’s insecurities. I’m not really happy with how her relationship with Philippe came across, and I think that’s mostly down to eccentricities in intonation and animation. The first draft of “Ever Get Tired of Movies?” was even less funny than the final draft, which says a lot. Still, it provides an interesting change of pace - the fact that Katia and Philippe’s flaws aren’t as blatant as those of the rest of the cast helps cement them as worthwhile additions in my opinion.
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I’m probably happiest with how episode seven, “The Faculty Bathroom”, turned out. Jessica’s monologue in episode six opened the door for a single-character episode, and something about the idea of showing Mr. Hernandez on his forty-five minute smoke break appealed to me. Only one bathroom is available freely, one which clearly belongs in a house, but most people often perceive their teachers as living in their schools and I like the idea that, on some level, Mr. Hernandez lives in this bathroom.
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We’ve all had teachers who are nice enough people but who are terrible at their jobs, and Mr. Hernandez falls squarely into that category. We don’t even know he’s a teacher until his second appearance, because in his first he’s too busy getting advice from a man dressed as Santa.
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A friend of mine suggested that Santa should quote Genghis Khan in “What is the Meaning of Life?”, and this quote ended up informing his behaviour in the rest of the series. I knew from the start that this man wasn’t really Santa, and I like the juxtaposition between who he is and how he presents himself.
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I didn’t set out to have a particular “protagonist” in this series, but Lizzie settled into that role and I ran with it as best as I could. The final episode, in my opinion, struck a good balance between humour and offbeat drama. I’d kept the weirdness firmly rooted in reality until that point, which makes LTD’s introduction all the more surprising. Incidentally, the sound effects used for the transitions to and from the green room were: “death beam”, “arrow hit”, “bone crack”, “fart”, “crash”, “soda can opening” and “swoosh”.
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Several people commented on the abruptness of the ending, saying that it lacked closure. Does LTD actually exist? Does hell? I’d say no, but it doesn’t really matter either way. I see the finale as being about Lizzie recognising that her life isn’t going in a direction she likes and deciding to change that, and I guess that was enough for me.
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I picked the title Are You Happy mostly on a whim - LTD asks Lizzie this question in the finale, and I think almost everyone in the show is unhappy about something or other. Bo Burnham has a song under the same title, but that wasn’t an intentional link. If I had to pick an overall theme for the series, I’d probably choose Precious Kid’s “Jaded”, not least because it includes the question “are you happy” in its lyrics.
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Plotagon remains on my taskbar for now, unopened. People have asked if I plan to make any more. Probably not, but you never know.
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