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apollos-boyfriend · 1 year

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a transcription of bagi and cellbit's conversation - 10/15/23

their convo starts at approximately 03:03:00 in cellbit's vod. there's a lot of screaming and yelling, so to save on being repetitive, anything after (screaming) continues the sentiment until i note their voices returning to normal.

C: What’s up?

B: Look deep into my eyes.

C: (long pause) . . . I’m looking.

B: Well? Nothing? (punches him, yelling) You asshole!

C: What? Wh-

B: (screaming) I looked for you for 15 years! And you forgot about me! You asshole!

C: (yelling) You abandoned me!

B: (crosstalk) You asshole!

C: You have no idea what I went through! You don’t know what I-what I lived through before this place! I don’t even know-

B: I spent the past few days in that stupid fucking house trying to remember your face!

C: I spent the last 15 years alone! In a war, in a jail, in a prison! I had to kill-I had to eat other people to stay alive! To be respected! Where were you? You were being coddled by mommy and daddy while I was out there, alone, bathed in blood! Half-dead! I never had a sister!

B: (pause, no longer screaming) You think mommy and daddy are still alive? What do you think I’ve been doing for the last 15, 20 years?

C: (pause, no longer screaming) I don’t know. And it doesn’t-

B: (raising her voice) What do you think I’ve been doing for the last 15 years of my life? Why do you think I’m on this shitty fucking island, you bastard?

C: (raising his voice) I don’t know! I just want to get out of here!

B: (voice cracking) You abandoned me, bastard! I spent the last 15 years chasing after you!

C: I don’t even remember this place. I don’t remember you! I don’t remember anything! How could I-how could I have abandoned you? (pause) You can believe whatever you want, but the place that I went to—the one far from here—I didn’t want to go there. The places I was taken to, I definitely never wanted to be taken there.

B: (softer) I found Roberto!

C: What is that? A worm . . .

B: It’s your worm, you dick! It was thanks to Roberto that I remembered you. (she tosses Roberto to him)

C: (he analyzes Roberto for a second) He’s-

B: (interrupting) You don’t remember Roberto?

C: No, but he’s cool.

B: You always wanted to have a pet worm.

C: He’s really cool.

B: You thought they were fucking sick.

C: No, genuinely, he’s really cool. I can’t deny that. (raising voice) But that doesn’t negate the fact that it doesn’t matter-wait, what do you mean, didn’t you have-what do you mean I have a sister, that makes absolutely no sense, where have you been all my life?

B: I was chasing after you! Looking for you! I located you in that shitty prison and you fucking ran away, damnit!

C: (screaming) Of course I did! You don’t have the slightest clue of what happened in that place! I had to do everything in my power to manage to get out of there! And yeah, I did-I did terrible stuff! But it’s what I-it-after you’ve spent 10 years in a fucking warzone needing to kill dozens of people a day to survive, that’s the least of what you have to do to survive!

B: Wait, what happened to you? I didn’t-I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I-I spent the last-I spent the last 15 years looking for you.

C: (solemn) And I spent the last 15 years trying to survive.

B: (long pause) You really didn’t remember me?

C: I didn’t remember anything. I just know that my-my first memory is me holding a fucking knife and a dead body right in front of me. And it was the only food I had. And it was like that for a long time. So, if you ask me, I’ve never had a family.

B: (crouching, crosstalk) You don’t remember us?

C: (increasingly more angry) I’ve never had a mom, or dad, or sister. I only had myself.

B: (broken) Seriously? You really don’t remember me?

C: I’m sorry, but no. I don’t remember you.

B: (long pause, stepping away) It’s okay.

C: (tossing her diary) This is yours.

B: What’s this? (long pause as she reads it) Looks like we’re no longer joined at the hip after all.

C: For me-

B: (interrupts, punching him) No, go fuck yourself, man! No, I’m not going to accept this! (screaming) I came to this shitty island, I’m stuck here with you, because I came searching for you! So now you’re going to accept me, damnit!

C: (screaming) You were already here before I got here!

B: (crosstalk) I’m your family! I’m your family, you fucker! Do you hear me? I’m stuck in this shit because of you, and I’m not leaving without you!

C: Well then, are you stupid? Because if you came here looking for me, I wasn’t even here! You got here before I did!

B: (speaking normally) I didn’t get here before you did, are you nuts?

C: How did you get on this fucking island, then?

B: (screaming) We lived on this island, dude!

C: (crosstalk) I never lived in this fucking hellhole! You think I would-are you-

B: (crosstalk) You were born here!

C: (squeaks) Huh? You’re nuts. Now you’re-now you’re in a whole new dimension. How was I born in this fucking place? What I want is to get out of here. I want to blow this place up.

B: (crosstalk, solemn) Do you want to see the house we grew up in? Maybe it’ll trigger some memories. I’m being serious.

C: (speaking normally) You have a-you know where-you have a-a-

B: (interrupting) I know where we grew up, yes. You don’t remember it, it’s okay, it happens. But . . . our house is here.

C: Uh-

B: Do you want to go there? Here, come with me. Let’s go to my house.

(They teleport to Bagi’s)

B: (breaking rp, laughing) [Your voice] is fucked to shit.

C: (not understanding what she means) What about yours?

B: (still laughing)

C: (breaking rp) Oh, I get it, you’re talking about my voice. (laughing) That I’m losing my voice, shit.

B: Mine is also fucked to shit. It feels like you have a boat stuck in there.

C: I do, I do, I do.

B: Put a boat down for me, please. Hold up, let me drive, let me drive. There.

(They get in the boat. Bagi starts driving)

C: (back in rp) We don’t even look similar, it doesn’t make any sense. Are you sure that that’s true?

B: (yelling) We don’t even look similar? You’re my fucking clone!

C: (yelling) Shut up, obviously not! The only thing-what man, you fucking dyed your hair to look like mine? It’s the only-wow, the only two people in the world-

B: I don’t even know why my hair looks like this! C: Neither do I! Maybe it’s-it has to be that fucking bear trying to get into our heads!

B: (speaking normally) Okay, look. Let me tell you something. Someone helped me get back my memories. I don’t know who.

C: (speaking normally) But-

B: (interrupting) Someone wanted me to remember you. And wait, where did you even find my fucking book? Were you spying on me?

C: No, it was in my castle!

B: What do you mean, it was in your castle?

C: I-I woke up—actually, that reminds me of something else, oh my god—I woke up, and then I went-I ate my breakfast, with my cake, in my beautiful dining room with my marvelous portraits, and there was a fucking mysterious black box (immitates thunder) pow! It starts raining, there’s lightning, and I’m like “Fuck, what’s going on?” and I went to check-

B: (interrupting) But it wasn’t from the Federation, was it?

C: I don’t think so, because usually the Federation is-is-when they reach out, it’s not with black boxes and lightning.

B: It happened to you too, then. There’s someone helping us find our missing memories! Why, I have no clue. I mean, I’m thankful, I’m really grateful, but . . . I don’t know why [they’re helping us]. (pause) Okay, hold on, let me see what the best route is to get there.

C: (long pause) How do you know about who was born on this island?

B: I don’t know who was born on this island, I just know that we were born here.

C: Is this-

B: (interrupting) Well, I don’t know if we were born here, I know that we grew up here.

C: There are houses here.

B: So. When we were younger, everyone always said that the island was the safest and most perfect place to live. Now. How you disappeared in the safest and most perfect place to live, I don’t know. Hold up, let me see if we can go through here. No, it’s better to go in farther ahead.

C: (long pause) Why have I wound up back in this place, then?

B: We’re here.

(They get out of the boat and begin approaching the house)

B: You don’t actually remember anything? Nothing?

C: No.

B: There’s someone-there’s someone helping me recover my memories. I-I didn’t remember why I was here. But now I do. I’ve spent the last few days [in our old home].

C: Honestly, it’s been so long since I’ve lost my memories that I stopped thinking about where I came from. I just kept moving forward. Because if I looked back, I may have seen things I’d rather have forgotten. (observing their house) What is this? Shit.

B: Things you’d rather have forgotten? You were the only good part of my childhood, why would you not want to remember that?

C: (long pause) Because . . . because between my childhood and now . . . there’s something much worse. (he enters the house) What is this-it looks like a cozy house.

B: It’s a bit dusty now.

C: (crosstalk) It looks-it feels very familiar, actually.

B: (excitedly) Come here! Do you remember our TV? That we needed to keep fiddling with the antenna that mom would make us put Bom Bril on? (Bom Bril is a Brazilian cleaning product made of steel wool.) Here! The TV!

C: (muttering, crosstalk) Bread with eggs. Bread with eggs. I once liked bread with eggs.

B: Um. When I got here—when something sent me here—all of your missing posters were all in the trash can. And . . . one book about the police investigation being dismissed because they didn’t have enough evidence to keep looking for you. You apparently left without leaving a single trace. Now, if you ran away because you wanted-or if because something-I don’t know.

C: (crosstalk, serious) I didn’t want to go where I went. I didn’t want to end up where I went. I didn’t want to be where I went.

B: (distressed) If this palace was supposed to be safe, then how come they kidnapped you?

C: Whoever took me-did you stay here?

B: I stayed here a little longer.

C: Was this the parents’ rooms?

B: Yeah.

C: And there was nothing of theirs left behind?

B: No. I don’t know how they are. I don’t know where they are. I don’t know if they’re still alive.

(Long pause as Cellbit enters their bedroom)

B: Roberto was here, in the thing you were always messing with, oops, sorry.

(Cellbit examines the small coffee mug on the table, then the brewing stand she was referring to)

C: What does this mean, Gabi? Why couldn’t I have a family?

B: Come here.

(Cellbit takes the coffee mug)

B: (raising her voice) You have a family, fucker! I came all this way just for you! Of course you have a family. You’re my brother! And you know that we’re fucked now, right? Because I was gonna let you fuck yourself over, because there’s someone trying to fuck you up, but now I can’t, because you’re my brother, and I won’t let go of your hand!

C: We’re-I give up.

B: (speaking normally) Come here. You left this in here.

C: My mystery novels. This one’s really good, actually, have you read it? (he tosses her And Then There Were None)

B: Which one? I read all of them, damnit. I read all of them. You left them behind. Obviously I read them. But this one’s really good, you’re right. You left something else here. Oh, hold on, there’s too much in my inventory. You left a cipher book. You taught me ciphers when we were kids. And whoever it was that’s been giving me clues gave me them all in ciphers. And I knew how to solve them, somehow, because you (punches him) taught me about them when we were kids.

C: (long pause) I’m not following. Who did this to me?

B: I’m going to find that fucker, and I’ll end him! Do you hear me?

C: But what . . . why . . . . what horrible atrocity could I have done as a kid to-to receive the penance I did, Bagi? I had a home. I had a family. (voice breaking) What did I do? Why was this all stolen from me?

B: (pause) It wasn’t stolen. I’m right here.

C: Why did-

B: (interrupting, firm) Do you hear me?

C: Why did they turn me into a monster?

B: (voice breaking) Get back here, I’m going to give you a hug! (Bagi raises her arms for a hug. Cellbit doesn’t reciprocate) You get back here, you asshole! I’ve missed you! You don’t remember, but I spent the past 15 years looking for you! When I finally found you in prison, what did you do? You ran away! You were a fugitive! You bastard! I’m never going to let you go again, do you hear me? I’m stuck on this fucking island, with-with a psychopathic killer bear that keeps coming after you, and I did it willingly. I’d do it all again if it was up to me.

C: I’m not the same person that you-that you grew up with.

B: (crosstalk) I don’t care!

C: (crosstalk) I’m not the same person.

B: (crosstalk) I don’t care! You’re my-we’re joined at the hip! A bit redundant, but we’re joined at the hip! (she finally steps away)

C: Maybe if I’d never left here, I’d still be your brother. But . . . I don’t-I’ve done things that I can never take back. And there’s broken parts of me that can never be fixed. I don’t-I don’t-I’ve never said this to anyone, Gabi. But I killed a Federation worker yesterday. And I liked it.

B: If you did it, there was a reason. There’s always a reason.

C: It felt good to kill someone again . . . .after so long. I’m not the same person you knew.

B: (pause) Fuck off. You’re my brother. I don’t know what I-what you went through. I have no idea. But you don’t know what I went through, either! And now I’m here. And we’ll get out of this place together. Even if you don’t want to.

C: At this point, I don’t know if leaving is my end goal anymore.

B: Your goal is to end them?

C: I want to make them feel what I felt. I want to make them understand what they did to me. Now that I know that they stole me from the life I could’ve had, I will do the same to them.

B: You won’t do it alone. You hear me? You don’t have to be alone anymore. You’ve been alone for too long. As have I.

C: So you better prepare yourself.

B: I was born ready.

C: To bathe yourself in blood.

B: Alright.

C: I need-I’m going-I need some time in my castle alone.

B: Me too.

C: Can I keep [Roberto]?

B: Obviously! Roberto was always yours. Actually, Roberto was [in the loft], I don’t know how he survived for this long. I got here and he was alive and kicking.

C: It’s because he kicks ass.

B: I don’t know where you got him, but be careful. He seems a little dangerous.

C: That’s what makes him so cool.

B: See you, Roberto.

C: Okay.

B: Roberto’s a little cute.

C: I need some time to process things, I can’t-I can’t-

B: It’s okay.

C: We’ll see each other-

B: (interrupting) When you need me, you know where to find me. When you don’t need me, too. At any time.

C: See you around.

#icarus speaks #qsmp translation #this took. an hour and a half to translate #i have a midterm due tomorrow but fuck that. i havev more important things clearly #this is 10 pages long btw

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