#i have had a VERY BAD NO GOOD DAY (genuinely fucked up personal shit) and so sillyposting is all i can do tn </3

[pepprs]

beaver gnawing on wood noises

[that-fic-girl]

HAZBIN HOTEL X READER HC #1

Head canon: what it would be like to date them.

characters: Alastor, angel dust, husk, vox

disclaimer: everything i write about these characters might not be accurate to the actual story, please take everything in the fic with a grain of salt, none of this is canon!!

Alastor

he hasnt been in an actual relationship in a while so being close and vulnerable with someone is quite hard for him, especially as someone who associates emotions with weakness.

First off, its safe to say he adores the ground you walk on. He's in love with everything about you, your clothes, the smell of your hair, your sickly sweet voice. his loves it all.

If there was ever a problem you needed fixing, a person you needed taken care of or even a errand you needed to run he would tend to it himself. he would not let you lift a finger.

PDA is a iffy thing for him, he wouldnt do grand big gestures but maybe a hand on the hip or a few words of affirmation.

everyone in the pride ring quickly learned of yours and radio demon's relationship. And no one dared to mess with you, ofcourse there was people who wanted to test their luck but they would have to pay the price later.

his love language is definitely words of affirmation, he will sweet talk the shit out of you. At night when it's just you two in bed, he will have his hands stroking through your hair whilst you rant to him about your day and he'll reply with sweet nothings

"oh darling, i've missed you all evening"

"you looked ravishing today my dear.."

"mm your hair smells amazing, my love"

Angel Dust

Angel is one of, if not, the horniest mother fuckers out there but somehow, he manages to somewhat make a healthy relationship with someone.

you two are seen as "the bad bitch" couple. you're always out together, always getting into dumb shit together. You'll get yelled at by vaggie at early hours in the morning because the two of you where playing a childish game of tag in the hotel halls.

his love language is definitely physical touch, he'll have his arms slung around your waist almost all the time. Kisses are a MUST every 5 minutes, like this boy will NOT part from you. especially in the mornings when you have to leave for work;

"mmnnnnoooooooo...stayyy for five minutes pleasseeeee"

"but sweets..you're soooo warm"

"sweetheart please, you feel so comfy"

yeah good luck with that.

nights with him are VERY eventful, if it wasn't obvious. You two would usually be at it late hours into the night but sometimes, when you two where too exhausted to fuck like rabbits, he would be sprawled across your lap whilst you stroked his fur.

Husk

Despite his harsh tone and uncompromising demeanor, you understood that Husk wasn't trying to be malicious towards you. It was simply his way of communicating, and you knew that his behavior wasn't personal. Even though he could be abrasive at times, you loved him for his rough edges and authentic personality

You and Husk's time together was mostly spent at the bar. You didn't like to drink much, but you loved seeing him work and make cocktails like a pro. You didn't mind that it wasn't considered a typical date, because you liked spending time with him in whatever way he felt most comfortable.

Husk is not used to receiving compliments, as he didn't often receive them in his past life. When you complimented him, it caught him off guard and he was surprised. But he eventually learned to appreciate it, and it even made him feel a little sentimental.

Despite the difficulty, you were able to help Husk realize that you genuinely cared about him. He had been used to being surrounded by dishonesty and hypocrisy, but you were always sincere and real. He held you in high regard, as you were the only source of light in his life, and he didn't want to lose you.

vox

You were known as a strong and independent person who didn't need assistance from others. You knew how to stand up for yourself, despite being harsh and tough at times. Despite your exterior, no one was aware of the soft spot in your heart that Vox's affection and touch alone could melt away your severity.

He appreciated seeing your affectionate side, as it felt special and intimate, like a shared secret between the two of you. He knew you valued your privacy, and he respected it by never sharing photos or other details on social media. He didn't want to betray your trust.

You were often feared and respected when you were with Vox. People found it hard to believe that someone as intimidating as yourself could have a tender, caring side that was kept hidden from most. Vox was glad that he was the only one who got to see that side of you. He didn't want to share something so special and personal with anyone else.

Quite often, he would call you on the phone, knowing that sweet words could be just as effective as a kiss. He enjoyed hearing how your voice softened from its usual seriousness to a more affectionate tone. He was aware that when he said loving phrases to you, you would blush and smile shyly, and sometimes he even regretted not being able to witness it in person.

"i've missed you today babe.."

"mhm look at my pretty girl/boy!"

[smoothoper44tor]

Tortuous love

(⛓️‍💥) Pairing: max verstappen x male! reader

(⛓️‍💥) Summary: Mark is willing to give Max a love he has never experienced before.

(⛓️‍💥) Genre: mostly fluff, angst

(⛓️‍💥) Warning: jos verstappen, child abuse, daddy issues, use of bad language, kinda cheesy, English is not my first language

masterlist

   Can you blame Max for finding relive in tortuous love? That’s all his father has ever taught him. Now he’s looking for his rude, soul devouring, soul taking love in everyone, and when he finds that person he holds them deeply with his long arms filled with hate. 

He can’t love like a normal person, and he can’t give a healthy expression of his love to the persons that deserve it. That’s the most likely reason to why Max hated him at the begging. He was easy to love, he liked most of the things Max did or said, admired them even, and called him out respectfully when he did something he did not agree with, he was open about his feelings. Open. About his feelings. A true nightmare of a teammate if you had to ask him, especially after Daniel.

   “God, Max- you’re so fucking amazing” his rookie teammate was hugging him as if his life depended on it, his sweat and the champagne rushing against Mark's blue helmet. He had won, but the brunette finished fourth, the first loser to miss the podium.

Max didn't felt that as a win, his father made sure he knew finishing first was his duty. Mark sure felt that as a win; he was congratulating him, telling him how amazing he was, and genuinely feeling happy for him. Truly a nightmare.

   "Thanks" he murmured, before letting himself be dragged by the crowd of Red Bull employees.

   Months after that, as they were preparing for the Emilia-Romagna Grand Prix, Mark had insisted in flying a couple of days early to enjoy the wonders of Italy. He had been trying to learn Italian for the last month, and Max can vividly remember the brunette hovering all over him with Italian catch-up lines.

When the brunette invited him to join his early flight he did, for some reason. He wasn't sure why he accepted, or why Mark invited him in the first place, but Max was happy about it. 

At least, until he founded out his teammate had also invited Lando. It was understandable, after all, you two started in f1 the very same year, and were also known for having a very deep, heart moving friendship. Max wished he hadn't felt as relieved as he did when he saw Carlos approaching with the papaya pilot. Carlos was never mentioned in the first place, but he was relieved the Spanish was there, hoping he would be enough to take Lando a bit away from Mark, so that way he wo- Wait, why the fuck did he wanted Mark’s attention in the first place?

   “Maxie” He was caught by the very one disturbing his mind. The brunette was giggling, his iPhone headphones hanging from his freckled neck. “You okay? You are not looking that good” Before Max could come with a cheap excuse, his teammate spoke again “I mean you do look good, you- shit! No. I didn’t mean it like- It’s not that I checked you out or anything, I just-" he was flustered, burning red colored all of his face. Max hadn’t even notice, been too focused on the other’s neck and the constellations forming there. 

   “It’s cool, I know what you meant” Mark sat next to him, hiding his face in between his hands. A brief smile danced in the blond face as he spoke again “I’m just thinking” Max leaned against the other, picking his shoulder “What are you listening?” The sudden, unexpected question seemed to erase every sight of blush. He jumped in his seat, practically throwing max one of the headphones in excitement.  

   Perhaps, Max had underestimated Mark’s abilities with language. When they arrived, he started speaking Italian more loosely than expected, not just catch-up lines, but actual sentences.

“You sound great” Max congratulated as the brunette handled him the ice cream he had just asked for. 

“Grazie mille, signori” Max giggled, provoking on the other a soft pink blush. Mark was quick to lace their arms together, as he guided the dutch to the McLaren drivers, that were rambling over their ice creams some meters above them.  

Max was still mad about his DNF in Belgium. He was demolished, not even the previous win in Germany was enough to make up for it. It was his duty after all, and every time he didn’t stand in the highest podium he was neglecting said duty. 

In Italy, he finished eighth. Mark made it to podium, third place. Max wanted to hug him and congratulate his job as much as the other always did. He even ignored his dad calling him out about today just to rush over Mark. They hugged, and it felt great, it compensated all the insults and daggers Jos throw at him later.

“You’re coming to the party, right?” Mark big chocolate eyes were begging him, with a puppy gesture. He was ignoring all the congratulations, all the pats in his shoulder, everything, just for Max. 

“Of course” He giggled, “Can’t miss your party”

Damn, maybe he should have missed the party. Max was blinded by the flashing lights and the stupidly loud music. Mark was nowhere to be seeing.

Daniel was the first person he bumped into. He was already tipsy, and offered the Dutch a shot of tequila. In a normal situation Max would have accepted it, hoping to easy his mind, but right now certain brunette who happened to be his teammate was the only thing occupying his mind, and the last he wanted was to kill that thought.

“Have you seen Mark?” His voice was came out a bit loud, hopping the Australian would hear him in between the nose. A subtle shade of red was covering his cheeks and the top of his ears.

“Markie?” Daniel screamed into him, making Max nod with discomfort. ”He was with Nando I think”

“Nando?” He furrowed his eyebrows at the mention of the Spanish man.

“No, wait. Not Nando, Lando!” Maybe Daniel had drink more than he thought in the first place. “I meant Lando! Yeah!” He screamed with a wide smile. Max gave the man a shy thanks, before starting his search for the other.

Mark was dancing with the other pilot, but soon left him when his eyes meet Max’s. Approaching him.

“You’re actually here” Max couldn’t bring himself to answer, too stunned by the way Mark’s big brown eyes seemed to shine. The man was truly beautiful.

“Can we go somewhere more private?” Max leaned into the other’s neck, almost brushing the freckles that adorned said skin with his lips. Mark shakes over the heat of Max breath hitting over him, gently rubbing the blond’s waist with his hand. He nodded, giving Lando a final look the dutch wasn’t able to describe. “It’s a great party” he said when they made it to the alley, his teammate’s hand was still in his waist, and Max was not going to be one to complain.

“You did well today. I’m not sure if I told you” Max got shy, again, when Mark mumbled his reassuring words. At this point Max found relieve in them, he no longer wanted to scream at him or punch him for them. Max had slowly come to terms with himself.

“I should be the one congratulating you” Max found himself leaning closer to the man, and the heat he emanated. “You did great Mark” His cocky grin expands at the dutch’s words.

“Thank you” Mark had his eyes glued at Max’s as they leaned closer. “Do I get a prize?” His other hand found the blond’s bareback as he still caressed his waist.

“For a third place?” Max mirrored the brunettes cocky gesture. They were centimetres apart, their breathings mixing in a heated sigh, battling to keep their hands for themselves.

“I did great, didn’t I?” Max leaned closer until there was no space left. He was kissing Mark, he was kissing the pink lips his found himself watching so often. Finally.

Mark pressed Max body against his, leaving no space between their bodies either. Right when the heat was emerging between them, Mark cracked a laugh, founding a confused pair of eyes locked at him. “That was great, like actually great”

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Ok well i had the brief thought “what about an ER nurse Eddie au?” and then this popped fully formed into existence so fuck it Friday pt 2.. warnings for smoking and vague references to critically injured kids

“That doesn’t seem very healthy.”

Smoke curls up from the cigarette held loosely in Eddie’s hand. “It’s not, particularly.”

Buck’s hands are in his pockets as he strolls away from the glass doors out into the ambulance bay where Eddie is doing the mature, professional equivalent of playing hide and seek. He comes to a stop barely a foot or two away from where Eddie leans against grimy concrete. “Didn’t know you were a smoker.”

“I’m not,” Eddie sighs, “Particularly.” He looks over Buck’s face as he takes a drag, cataloging bruises and cuts. He hadn’t been the one to look him over before he was discharged, probably because he was out here avoiding having to do so. “Only when it’s- only after the bad shifts.” And only once a month, even if the bad shifts come again and again. He bought this pack in January, it’s stale as shit.

Buck’s eyes follow the smoke as it drifts skyward. “Rough one today?”

Eddie thinks he probably doesn’t have to explain to Buck that it’s sometimes better when a kid is dead on arrival so he doesn’t have to try his best to administer care he knows will be useless. He doesn’t have to explain a day where nothing goes right and he loses more people than he can save and he still has to walk away from someone’s parent or wife or sister, left behind forever in a waiting room on the worst day of their life, and go on to lose the next person too. Doesn’t have to explain why he’s out here, and not in there. “Mm. We’ve got this repeat customer, always hate to have him back.”

Buck’s eyes flick to his face before they settle somewhere around his elbow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. He seems like a nice guy. I worry about him. He’s here too often.”

Buck doesn’t look up. “What was he in for this time?”

“Minor concussion. Bruising. Lacerations.” Eddie sucks cancer into his lungs. “Heard a house fell on him.” Exhales it into the night.

Buck does look up this time, eyes a darker blue out here in the shadows. “Part of a house. Just a staircase and the- like, the balcony, really.”

“Maybe he should stay away from those.”

“From houses?” Buck asks, half his mouth twitching into a smile.

Eddie rests his head on the wall behind him. “Guess that’s not really practical.”

“No.” Buck is quiet for a moment, one hand slipping out of his pocket and running through his hair. Eddie wonders what he looks like, when he’s not here. He’s more styled, sometimes, when things aren’t very bad. He wonders if he’s usually all gelled up and neat. Eddie kind of likes the loose curls. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Making your day worse.” Buck looks genuinely apologetic, and Eddie shakes his head.

“The guy made it out okay this time.” Buck is just close enough that Eddie can kick at his boot with his sensible orthopedic sneaker. “You didn’t even need stitches.”

“That’s good.” Eddie’s left foot is pressed along the inside of Buck’s right, and Buck is staring down at them. “His favorite nurse was on break. I would have missed you if someone else had to do them.”

Eddie laughs, just a few bursts of soundless oxygen. “You gotta find new ways to see me before something happens that I can’t fix.”

Buck moves, taking the few steps necessary to lean against the wall beside him. Carefully, he takes the cigarette from Eddie’s hand, holds it between two of his own fingers, and takes a drag. Eddie watches it happen like he’s monitoring somebody’s pulse ox, and when Buck coughs he laughs again, louder this time. “Fuck,” Buck says, laughing too. “Thought that would be cooler than it was.”

“Smoking isn’t cool, firefighter Buckley,” Eddie says, taking the cigarette back and pulling from it again between smiling lips.

“Hm,” Buck says, grinning out into the night. Then he sighs, and rolls his head along the concrete to look at Eddie. “I think there’s nothing you can’t fix.”

They’re very close. “There’s lots I can’t fix.”

Buck shrugs like he disagrees. “I also think I’d like to find other ways to see you.”

Buck’s eyes are even more in shadow at this angle, and they’re the color of the lake back in El Paso that he and a bunch of kids went to after graduation, drunk off beer somebody’s cousin got for them, skinny dipping with breathless terrified delight under bright constellations. “Then ask me.”

Buck inhales as Eddie exhales. “What time’s your shift end?”

“5:30 AM. So, probably 6:15.”

Buck traces the two fingers he’d used to hold the cigarette down Eddie’s arm. “You wanna get breakfast with me?”

“Yes. I would.”

Buck smiles, and Eddie snubs out the cigarette on the wall between them. “I’ll meet you here?”

“Alright.” He takes a step forward, then a step to the right so he’s standing in front of Buck. “Two hours.”

“Uh huh.”

He should really get back inside. They’re understaffed, as always, and there are too many patients, as always, and not enough beds, as always. “See you then.” He doesn’t make any move to leave.

“See you then,” Buck almost whispers. He leans forward, and Eddie still doesn’t move, so he presses a tiny kiss to the corner of his mouth for just a moment. His lips are warm. Eddie hadn’t noticed it was cold outside.

Buck pulls back and leans against the wall again. Eddie smiles, puts a hand in his pocket, and walks back toward the doors.

[grenade-maid]

there's a lot of reasons more people aren't into yuri that are troubling to consider, but equally, I genuinely think it cannot be understated how much of it comes down to most yuri being boring as hell. Like truly. I've been reading the front page of Dynasty Scans like it was the newspaper for 15 years I am not exaggerating I can show you the download file data 15 years.

You know what the complaint about yuri by yuri readers was back in 2009?

"wow that really was just 5 volumes of them blushing at each other and then they don't even kiss"

You know what the complaint about yuri by yuri readers is today in 2023?

"wow that really was just 5 volumes of them blushing at each other and then they don't even kiss"

Don't get me wrong, Yuri has grown a LOT in that time, to the point that most people today wouldn't even understand a Maria-sama reference if it were dropped in front of them (thank God). It's expanded and evolved to encompass more stories about adult women, wider varieties of scenarios, a greater acknowledgement of real life lesbianism, and is more comfortable showing girls kissing with tongue and having sex.

Yuri Manga is maybe the best is it's ever been, and it's also getting the widest readership it's ever had in the English speaking world. The titles we carry at work are always on back order with long queues, and, when I've asked them, most weebs of all gender or sexualities report keeping up with at least a few Yuri series.

At large though? Most of it is still really boring. That's not a bad thing necessarily. I like it because it goes down easy. For the most part any series you pick is gonna be pretty chill. Even shit from Sal Jiang which is PRETTY EDGY for yuri is a pretty breezy read. More serious ones like How Do We Relationship? cover some pretty real subjects about how intimacy is actually quite difficult even when both of you love each other, but it's not like... Exciting. Yuri isn't where you go to pump your fist or get perched on the edge of your seat.

So when the comparison is made to yaoi, well, I mean, have you READ any yaoi? Even in some of the more restrained titles those boys are likely to be sucking and fucking balls and all within the first volume or two. There's gonna be drama, intrigue, shit is gonna get messy, passions are gonna get heated, clothes are gonna be ripped off, people are gonna get sold to One Direction, it's stuff you can sit down with a bowl of popcorn with you know? Stuff you can message your friend and gush Hey Can You BELIEVE? A lot of it is pretty trashy, but that's the appeal. The generic state of yaoi is torrid and exciting and sexy. Ultimately, as a species many of us like to see pretty people fuck. In yaoi you'll get that. In yuri you won't. Nothing wrong with that, but it is gonna be a major contributing factor to their relative popularity.

It's also worth making the comparison to hetero romance manga, which has undergone a renaissance of it's own in recent years. There's now a whole meta around crafting a handful of mean shitty grouchy dysfunctional bully women and flinging them at the protagonist of the day who, unlike in years past, may actually have a face and personality. Most of these are also very trashy and truly scrape the bottom of the bucket in terms of writing.

AND YET?

I would bet money on the fact that you'll have heard of these women and probably even have a good idea what they're like without ever having touched a page of their manga.

I'm sorry but the straights are whipping donuts around the yuri girls in terms of delivering a wide variety of weird compelling fucked up women. How many yuri leading ladies by comparison can you point to as standout recognizable characters even divorced from their story? There's definitely a few, but not many. I'm not talking quality or depth of writing, I'm talking straight up pure recognizability. There are many beautifully written women in yuri, now more than ever. I can't think of many who'd like, get a figure made or have their face splashed on merch, though.

I don't really have a conclusion here. I love Yuri a lot, but at the end of the day this is just kinda the state of things right now.

[d0youc0py]

Hi 👋🏻 May I request a piece for Simon reacting to reader's scars which are pretty bad ? (could be from abuse,or from torture from being captured or self inflicted) scars he never saw before cause reader always hit them, and maybe Simon opens up about his as well as a way to comfort them?

Sorry if you are not comfortable with this... Have a great day!

“Ow…ow….ow…ow.”

“Toughen up.” Ghost growled.

“My arm doesn’t bend that way Lieu.” You yelped.

“That’s the point.” He snipped. “Showin’ you how to break someone’s arm.” For emphasis he bent your arm back a little more a loud pop ringing through the training room. It didn’t hurt but you instinctively said ‘ow’ causing another annoyed sigh to leave the bulky man. “Now you try on me.” He demanded flopping down on his stomach. You went to grab his arm and he quickly snatched it away. You tried again. He pulled away from you.

“What are you doing?”

“You didn’t think I was gonna make it easy, did ya?”

“I had my hopes up.” You groaned out. You tried again- this time putting in twice the effort. He grabbed you by the front of your shirt and flipped you down on the mat. The little action causing your shirt to ride up- revealing the one thing you tried your hardest to hide. You had scars almost everywhere, but the really nasty ones were on your stomach. His balaclava did nothing to hide his widened eyes. You pulled away and he quickly let go. “I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“For what?” Ghost asked quickly.

“You had to see those.” Your cheeks were bright red. You had a feeling this was something that was going to make you cry whenever you woke up at two in the morning and thought about.

“I didn’t see anything.” He lied. He could tell you were uncomfortable and didn’t want to add on to it.

He thought less of you. You just knew it. He didn’t even need to know how you got them- he thought you were weak.

“I didn’t take you for the lying type Lieu.” You mumbled. You scooted your knees close to your chest.

“I’m not.” He sighed. He sat down across from you, stretching his legs out so you were between them. He knows he doesn’t show it well but he’s always had a soft spot for you. He couldn’t help it. Something about you made him feel nice. Seeing your scars were just icing on the cake. He could relate to wanting to cover up the ‘bad’ bits of yourself. Although to him your only bad bits were your constant complaining during sparring- and during missions- and when it’s hot out- and when it’s too cold- and when you’re hungry- and when you didn’t sleep good- and- well you get the idea. All of this led up to what he was about to do now.

He took a deep breath causing you to look up at him. He gripped the edges of his balaclava slowly pulling it away from his face.

Of course he was gorgeous.

He wasn’t perfect.

But my god is he gorgeous.

You suddenly realized why he had done it. A deep scar starting at his cheekbone going all the way down to his jaw. Another one going over his eye. You had noticed one of his eyes seemed to open more than the other, but you didn’t see the scar till now. You reached your hand out and he didn’t pull away. Your pointer finger traced gently over his cheek. You waited for him to smack your hand away, but instead he closed his eyes letting you take your time.

You wondered how many people had the honor of doing this. The way his face heated up made you think very few- if any. Once you were done you rested your hand back in your lap. He opened his eyes.

“You saw my scars?” He asked.

You nodded your head.

“Do you think I’m ugly?” He questioned. Cocky bastard. He knew you wouldn’t say no.

“If this is your way of asking me if I like you Lieu, you’re going about it all wrong.”

He laughed. A rare, but genuinely lovely sound to hear.

“No, I don’t think you’re ugly.” You affirmed. He nodded his head, almost like he was agreeing with you.

“Scars don’t make you ugly, kid. A shit personality does.”

“Are you saying I have a bad personality?” You gasped.

“Fucking Hell, we’re gonna be here all night.” Simon groaned, wiping a hand across his forehead. “I think you know what I mean.” He pressed. You smiled at him.

“You’re not the only one who digs for complements Lieu.” You snickered. He smiled and you had to stop yourself from poking the dimple in his right cheek.

“Lieu?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Thank you for your request! I decide to leave the story behind the scars out to make it more applicable. Hope that’s okay!

[oikasugayama]

Helloooo! I love your posts and I was wondering if you could do one of your charts with the bsd men for when you’re anxious and if they’d be good at comforting you or if they’d try their best, tried but failed and if they’d be just straight up shit at it, hope you’ve had a nice day :3

I have a few similar requests for cheering you up when you're upset, so here are my general thoughts as someone who suffers from anxiety:

Fukuzawa has the wisdom to say something genuinely helpful and calming. He also helps you with mindful breathing and makes you some tea.

Nikolai, in one of his sentimental moods, teleports you to a calmer, more peaceful location where you can calm down and feel safer.

Junichiro tells you what helps him when he feels anxious, and he comforts you by relating and talking through the situation.

Chuuya doesn't really know how to help anxiety, but he asks questions and gets you to talk and work through what's bothering you. Oda also does this but with more experience (I just noticed he's in the wrong spot, he should be further left than Chuuya)

Ango can't do shit doesn't do shit. His own anxiety paralyzes him.

Kunikida technically tries to help but he ends up making you feel worse by telling you all the other shit you should be worrying about instead.

Atsushi really, really, really wants to help but the poor kid is the most anxious person you know so he ends up making himself anxious and then you feel bad for making him feel bad.

Mori surprisingly makes you feel a little better by just talking about other shit until you stop consciously thinking about what was bothering you. It's still in the background but not as intense.

Bram tells you not to worry and that all will be taken care of. To him he's not helping, but you believe that he really will take care of the situation on your behalf so it helps you to know someone is in your corner.

Poe offers you a new novel he was writing, so you get to play in a fictional world. It's the best distraction ever.

Sigma doesn't know what anxiety is so he has no idea how to help. He tells you you can use any of his resources and that's about it.

Dazai says he'll jump off the roof with you so you don't have to deal with it anymore, and it at least makes you giggle. He'll keep saying dumb shit and you don't doubt that he really thinks offing yourself is a solution, but you also don't take him seriously so the giggles help.

Ranpo says anxiety isn't real so just don't worry -_-

Mushitaro tells you some depressing ass story of a time he was very upset as well and it just fucking sucks.

Fyodor either tells you to look to the lord for strength (I am so not joking) or he finds a way to twist you being anxious into an argument about you not believing in his ability to protect you/have things go his way.

Akutagawa says he'll kill anyone or destroy anything that's upsetting you. You really don't dig the destruction and it makes you feel worse.

[copperbadge]

would you mind talking a little about enjoying traveling solo? I've always wanted to explore, but so many people paint traveling as this group activity, and I've always felt bad not having friends to do it with

My god, how much time do we have?

So, I could indulge in a little free therapy here and talk about some fucked-up experiences of travel I had as a child, but that's not really applicable, so...let's leave it at the fact that until I was out on my own, I didn't get to pick what happened to me on trips. I do often travel with my friends, who are always up to do the dumb shit I concoct for us, but any travel with another person involves compromise, and sometimes I just don't want to compromise, or to irritate my friends. Even though I know they probably won't be, I still worry they will, and sometimes I don't want to worry.

I also never internalized the idea that doing things alone was sad or weird. It's a social cue that I completely missed. The first time a friend of mine randomly came across me eating alone in a restaurant in college, she said, "Sam, why are you eating alone?" and I said, baffled, "Because I wanted dinner?"

I was twenty years old before it occurred to me that other people would feel strange eating alone in a restaurant, and then only because she told me she'd be too self-conscious. I was thirty before I realized most people would be self-conscious traveling alone, something I'd been doing since I was seventeen. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to be with other people -- some people love company or are nervous traveling alone or just plain don't get the appeal, and that's entirely fine.

But I love knowing that everything I do is for me alone. I can go to the weird museum or check out the odd store or do strange secret things to delight myself and never worry that I'm making life unpleasant for someone. I can be as selfish as I want. That's very rare for me and very precious. Also why I will probably never have a permanent romantic partner, but that's also free therapy for some other time.

The truth is, when you are alone, nobody actually knows that. Yes, if you're the only person at your table in a restaurant you're obviously alone, but nobody knows you aren't just getting a bite to eat before meeting up with your many cool friends. I don't look at anyone I see out in the world and go "Oh sad sack, look at them without anyone to hang out with." I think most of us worry everyone is saying that, and none of us actually are saying that.

And when I have been asked if I'm with someone and said, "Oh, I'm traveling on my own", people universally react with envy. "That must be amazing. I couldn't do it," or "I've never gone on a trip by myself, is it fun?" I've never had anyone say or imply that I'm a loser who couldn't find someone else to travel with. Quite the reverse.

Recently I had the thought that if I was more afraid of being alone I would probably have more intimate friendships or at any rate a much wider social circle, because I would need someone else to go with me on adventures and I would have to internalize the idea that it's okay to inconvenience or bore someone else at times, which I never really have. But that's kind of a tautology; "if I was less okay being alone I'd be less alone" is cyclical reasoning, when the truth is I'm someone who is a little fucked up about other people but also just genuinely enjoys solitude.

I love my friends, and I try very hard to form strong bonds with them despite that being really hard for me. I do get lonely, and I spend more time alone than is probably good for me. I get very anxious before solo trips. But I will also always need times when I am alone and only ever have to worry about myself. And once I'm launched on the trip I fucking love it. There are very few joys to rival walking out early in the morning into a strange city and knowing that the day and the city are both yours and yours alone.

Also sometimes I pretend I'm a spy, or an art historian on the trail of a stolen painting, or an academic writing a very important book. That's fun as hell.

Anyway, even when I do travel alone my friends are only a text message away, and I get to see cool stuff that I bring back to my room at night and share with all of you. I love sharing my adventures with you guys.

So yeah. My thesis is that nobody will even notice you're alone and if they do they'll probably think you're fucking cool for doing it, and meanwhile you get to do exactly what you want and nothing you don't. I think everyone should at least try it. You don't have to do a four-country trip through Europe for your first time out; you can just find something in another city that you want to see -- a museum or a zoo or a play or a cool burger joint -- book a trip, arrive Friday night and leave Sunday afternoon. And if it turns out you don't like traveling alone, that's okay too. There's no inherent moral virtue in being alone any more than there is in not wanting to be.

I just think it's super cool to sometimes go haring off on my own and do dumb shit. :D

[wonysugar]

it’s so over for me…. ch. 15

hiding spot (half written)

the loud thud of the door shutting against the frame made you flinch, you quickly turned off your phone and focused on not breathing too loudly. it was a life or death situation for you, basically.

on her end, it was, more than anything, really fucking annoying that she fucked you while she was drunk. and the thought that you probably still hated her despite all of that gave her goosebumps. she wanted to talk to you, she really did.

but how?

she was a stuck-up self egotistical bitch who only thought about drugs, booze, and coochie. how could a well-mannered and distinguished person such as you like her?? no chance, she thought.

she sighed heavily as she finished putting on her top, utterly unaware that you were in the same room as her. grabbing her phone from the counter next to the bathroom, getting ready to call up ning to pick her up–

hic.

she paused in her tracks, eyebrows furrowed as she turned her gaze to the couch, eyeing it and the weird strange noises coming out of it.

oh how fucking lovely, hiccups, now, is what you thought, in a state of immense panic from hearing her slow and loud footsteps approaching your hiding spot, you spoke up, you had to.

you said your first actual words to her, and they were ridiculous,

“aeri, i swear to god if you keep walking towards this couch, i will run out of this house butt naked.”

her eyes widened, she immediately recognized your voice and backed away. “y-y/n?? what the hell are you doing behind that couch? also why are you naked..”

“don’t ask questions and just- turn around, i need to get dressed.” you ordered her, and she obliged immediately, muttering a weak okay. you stood up and put on your outfit from yesterday, yknow, the one that reeked of liquor? yeah, you didn’t exactly have the luxury to get changed, so.

“okay. i’m done.” you sighed eventually, watching her slowly turn around, you were finally facing her properly after all of these days, weeks? it felt like she was after you for what seemed like years, at this point.

it was weird, seeing her in front of you in a setting where she wasn’t drunk, nor was she glaring at you. this time, she was just kinda looking at you. and you were looking at her back. it was a surprising, and kind of awkward, but very welcomed comfortable silence nonetheless.

until she spoke,

“why do you hate me, y/n?” she suddenly asked, her voice small. she seemed… incredibly distraught and hurt by the potential fact that you do hate her. you’ve never seen her this way?

you scoffed, looking away in slight embarrassment, “who said i hated you? okay well.. i kinda do but.. i was moreso scared of you at first.. kinda.”

when you looked back at her, all you saw was a baffled expression on her face, confusion visibly taking over her whole brain.

this was probably gonna take a while.

-

“so yeah, despite the fact that you made me paranoid for like a good week, glared at me everytime we passed by each other and indirectly threatened to murder me on twitter, i don’t hate you or anything.” she was listening to you throughout the whole thing, guiltily nodding along to your words, embarrassingly excited over the fact that you remembered everything she did, but that wasn’t the point.

you added, “like yeah, sure, i thought you were an annoying self-centered piece of shit at first, and, you kinda are! but it mostly just turns out that you simply don’t know how to talk to women.” she kept nodding, until that last part.

“i do talk to women, not too fucking much.”

“talking to women and giving women suicidal urges are not the same thing, aeri.” you smirked at her, enjoying the reactions you were getting out of her.

she dramatically groaned, mumbling a small still counts as she was fighting back a smile. a real smile. it wasn’t a wait-until-i-get-you-hoe kind of smile, it was moreso a oh-you’re-so-funny-i-need-you-so-bad kind of smile.

upon looking at her smiling this genuinely, you felt.. inexplicably warm? you wanted to deny it, just like you’ve been doing throughout this whole thing, but you couldn’t anymore.

she was insanely pretty.

you jumped from the unexpected sound of your ringtone accompanied by the just as sudden vibration that you felt in one of your front pockets, all of it interrupting your train of aeri-filled thoughts. you pulled out your phone, looked at the contact name and immediately tensed up.

you forgot that heejin was waiting for you.

“fuck- aeri, i gotta go. heejin wanted to meet up and i like- completely forgot about it, sorry..” you waved at her as you rushed to the door, not even looking back at her. “see yo—“

“y/n, wait.” she exclaimed, not super loud, but it was loud enough, so you heard, then you turned to look at her.

meeting her gaze again, she stumbled on her words when she saw your face, as if she was fully expecting you to just go when she called out to you.

“i… i-i wanna talk more. so. give me your fucking number. please.” she demanded, looking as nervous as ever, like she forgot that she whored herself out for you in the bathroom just last night.

and you, looked like a dork that was being asked out for the first time with how wide your smile was, because you apparently also forgot about last night.

-

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[pseudophan]

some post wad weekend thoughts...

i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes

first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.

guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.

most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).

and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.

ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.

i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately

anyway. back to work 💪

(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)

[lovelykil]

Dude you gotta make a Kyle version of him with a horny reader 🤭🤭 I was blushing the whole time reading the Kenny one

I couldn't decide on a song so you have both 💁🏾‍♀️

─Headcanons─

kyle x reader older ver.

hc; horny reader dating Kyle

cw; nsfw :33

note; I was thinking abt making one for him after Kenny cs yes. I feel like I kinda got carried away with this 😭 but anyway ⤵

How the hell did he even managed to bag such a horny mf, while him, himself isn't really a horny guy 😭?

Okay well it sorta went like this

Before dating you guys were close friends (yes I always do the friend thing cs I can, u can't stop me)

You two were always together, he liked being around you so much Stan took notice, he got very jealous for a few weeks till he realized Kyle was crushing HARD on you so he had no other choice but to get over his childish behavior and root for his best friend

Now you on the other hand were also crushing hard on this dork, you found him funny, cute, silly, tall.. very tall oh lord

He's a whooping 6'1 or 6'2, he towers you. And god did that do it for you.

You liked looking up at him whenever he'd talk, listening to his (somewhat) deep voice (he has like a high pitched voice but still has a deep voice😭) while fantasizing about him pinning your small figure down to the sheets of your bed.

His slightly large slender pale hands traveling to your thighs, caressing them slowly as he goes down to look into your eyes, he gives you a warm smile before making contact with your lips he looks back at you for some consent. Once you nod your head he connects his cherry flavored lips with yours, holding your face carefully whilst he's in between your legs.

"And then– Y/n? Are you listening? Y/n!"

"Huh?? Oh what- what did you say? Sorry.."

You are not sorry. You want him to top your small body, hovering ontop of you and thrust his length deep inside you as he praises you for taking him so good.

uhhmm anyway 😋..

Long story short one day you got the balls to ask him out, ask your bestfriend out.

At FIRST you were going confess to him over text.. but then you didn't wanna be a pussy, he was special, too special to send a lousy confession text to. You wanted him to see your genuine feelings for him in person, so that's exactly what you did.

After like 10+ failed attempts to tell him cause you were too nervous.

You fantasize about him fucking you but can't tell the man you LIKE him?

Oh my god

Literally after school came and you were just going to give up when he approached you, his shakey hands latching onto your shoulders in a nervous mess.

"Uhh Kyle are you okay?"

"Look I LIKE you, I like you alot, and I- uhm- I.."

"Oh my gosh- I like you too, please just shut up and kiss me now, like.. right NOW."

he took a moment to process before kissing you.

He's so CUTEE, his lips did infact take like cherry lip balm.

Now you two were together.. all the things you imagined with him...

Kyle did not know what he got himself into LMAO

It's cause you never mentioned any sexual stuff before well I mean sometimes you did, laughed and shit but it wasn't something he wouldn't think much of. Until now.

Oh wow you were now so uncontrollably horny around him, asking for a kiss 24/7 putting his hand in between your legs whenever you guys sat next to each other, whispering nasty stuff into his ear that made his face red as tomato.

It drives him CRAZY, (the good and bad mostly good or..)

There was this one time you sent him something very questionable, which meant something likeee nudes.

You sent him nudes.

It was just for funnsiez 🤷🏾‍♀️

He was all excited that you texted him back too then all of a sudden he opens his phone to see a very explicit picture of yourself in your favorite lingerie or something, he'd never turned red so fast setting his phone down in a HEART BEAT.

btw he was eating dinner with his family.

"Kyle, What'd I say about phones at the table."

"Sorry mom- I..uhm Y/n texted me."

"Oh! What'd she sa-"

"Nothing- she sent nothing. Anyway, this food is REALLY good ma, like woww."

Bro was PANICKING. 😞

Just know Kyle called you later and scolded you well tired he just ended up growing a boner mid-argument when he thought about the picture.

Speaking of boners

He never knew he could get so horny so much around you, just listening to your voice gets him turned on. When he feels it he gets so embarrassed, and guilty.

He loves you for youu but hormones are wild sometimes.

Your hormones on the other hand are insane, you're always horny for him and not afraid to tell him or even show him. You love him for him of course but GOD you just want his slender fingers inside you.

One day you two were watching a movie together in Kyle's room, with the exception of the door being opened by at least 3 inches.

Shelia doesn't mind your company she's grown a liking to you, but leave 2 teenagers alone in a bedroom and.. yeah so there was no arguing about that

But do you really think 3 INCHES was going to stop you?

No.

:3

During the movie your mind was else where, thinking about the most erotic scenarios with your boyfriend as possible, you could feel your pussy throb in your clothed panties. Your breath grew hot, as you leaned on Kyle your thighs rubbed against each other trying to relieve yourself a little but it wasn't enough.

Kyle took notice of your constant squirming, his hands finding its way around your waist slowly he then asked what was wrong in a low concerned whisper.

Once his hands found your waist it was all over from there, the gut wrecking butterflies flew into your stomach fluttering their way downward. You sat up and turned your body around to face him.

"I need to suck your dick right now."

"🧍"

"🧍🏾‍♀️"

"Turn around and watch the movie"

"Kyle- PLEASE"

"No."

"WHY"

"Well one the door is OPEN, two my MOTHER, and three NOOOO"

You took his hand and held it with yours, begging him, he looked at you like you were damn crazy, but blushing like crazy cause what the hell 😭

"Please I swear I'll be fast, I just desperately need you right now Kyle.."

Oh wow that did it for him, your whines and pleas for him made him hard.

He looked at you then at the door, his head screamed no but his body ached for your touch. He looked at you and sighed he held onto your hand pulling you toward him.

He neared your ear going in to whisper something.

"Alright, be a good girl and get on your knees for me, okay?" He leaned away, still holding onto your hand once he saw your face he slightly smirked, even though he was actually dying from embarrassment inside he knew it worked when he saw the flushed and yet shocked expression on your face when he pulled away.

"Woah- how'd you.. like-"

"You liked that didn't you?" He leaned close to you, growing slightly more confident.

You giggled stupidly, getting lost in his voice you loved, moving in.

"Yeah a bit, do it againn."

"Be a good girl and kiss me, yeah?"

"Okay yeahh." Kyle chuckled his smile going into the kiss, you smiled as well but soon stopping from the now serious make-out session starting. He let you lay him down slowly onto the pillows, your hand finding his face for the kiss to deepen.

A muffled moan escaped from your mouth right before you pulled away for air, your tounge no longer in touch with his. You panted, sitting on his lap he huffed slowly looking at you in the semi dark room. The only light source was the TV behind you.

"You ready?" You asked, at last catching your breath. He simply nodded, his face a tint pink. You smiled and kissed his nose lastly before going down on him.

Kyle checked the door once more then slipped off his sweat pants, you helping him underneath the blanket. When you came in contact with his boxers you slowly pulled them off and out sprung his member, hard just for you.

You slipped out underneath the blanket with a giggle "You're hard as fuck Ky, you reallyy must want me." You teased.

Kyle looked away with a flushed expression, he shoved you lightly back under the blanket.

"You're the one who got me like this.. asshole."

"You're so cutee."

You lightly tapped on his cock watching it twitch before tucking some hair behind your ear and taking him in. Once you had him in your mouth you bopped your head at a slow pace, your eyes closing. The ginger bit his lip down, his eyes closing on their own from the pleasure he was in.

His hands gripped his sheets when you picked up the pace, he let out a faint moan trying not to make any noise. If you could see his face he looked so cute, his eyes half-lided, mouth slightly agape with hot air escaping from it and some tears stinging his eyes.

He shifted some bit when you took him in whole, your tongue sliding against his dick in such a magnificent way that he couldn't help but whine loud. He held his mouth with his hand quickly after, but still failling to keep his voice down.

He threw his head back, his eyes rolling back he wanted to moan out loud so bad but he couldn't all he could do was try to hold in his pathetic whines from his mom so she wouldn't come into the room.

From below you could hear his muffled moans and whines you could feel yourself burn in heat, your cunt almost dripping. You rubbed yourself to his moans, feeling the euphoria flow inside you as you fingered yourself through your clothed temple.

You continued to suck him off wanting to hear him more even if he had his hand covering his mouth, this whole situation of trying to do sexual acts while his parents are around and trying not to get caught made you excited and hot inside.

As you made your way up and down his dick you felt his hand make its way ontop of your head, he lightly ran his fingers throughout your hair or kept it there hearing him whisper something.

"Oh.. shit you're doing so good y/n.. please keep going baby.." (oh my god)

Once you heard that sentence come from his mouth you blushed hard.. picking the pace up about ready to make this man cum inside your mouth, you wanted to swallow his warm seed and show him just to tell you what a good girl you were for doing so.

But we all can't get what we want now can we?

Some creak foot steps neared towards the door after a few minutes passed by from what Kyle last said that made you explode with butterflies. Despite Kyle being in such immense pleasure to the point his mouth was watering and his eyes tearing up he still kept alert and once he heard that creak he whispered yelled to you to get the HELL up QUICK.

"Y/n HURRY get UP FAST FAST FAST–"

"Whwat? why?" You replied, his dick still in your mouth.

"My MOM"

You suddenly stopped, peeking out of the blanket. "Oh shit."

You immediately rushed out from under the blanket almost falling ontop of Kyle to sit next to him, Kyle pulled up his boxers then his sweats quickly and grabbed his remote to the TV. You hurriedly sat beside him at a reasonable distance watching the TV with Kyle.

Just right when the door opened you had to wipe some spit off your face before setting your hand down fast as Kyle's mom came in, doing the parent check in.

She flipped on the light switch, and saw the two of you sitting next to each other innocently watching TV, acting like you weren't just having her son whine and moan.

"You guys okay here?" She asked, squinting hard at you two. Kyle could practically feel his heart trying to escape from his chest he was so anxious all he could do was give her a thumbs up with a nervous smile. You also gave her a thumbs up, your smile not so nervous but somewhat kinda jumpy.

Shelia nodded her head slowly in approval, "Bedtime is at 10 Kyle, night you two." She stated before turning off the light and closing the door shut. You and Kyle listened to her foot steps slowly fade away before sighing a big relief.

You laughed from being slightly nervous, nudging him in the arm.

"That was close wasn't it?" You joked, feeling your heart race. Kyle just sided eyed you.

"Alright nevermind then.."

You two sat in silence for a second.. like a long second but eventually you heard him sigh, he went underneath the blanket seemingly like he was crawling towards you. You watched in confusion before he peeked out from the blanket in between your legs. His big curly hair getting all messy.

You pulled away the blanket off him to see him clearly.

"What are you doing?" You asked, feeling a smile creep on your face. "I wanna make you feel good now, can I?" He sat up and leaned into you he held your hip with one hand and the other your cheek.

"But I didn't finish-"

"It's okay don't worry about it, I just.. wanna hear you moan from my doing this time." He shyly looked away, he put his hand down.

You felt your heart melt and your pussy throb, damn he could do BOTH.

"Okay whatever you want Ky." You pecked his cheek that brought his attention back to you. He smiled, kissing you quickly then going underneath the sheets. You helped him pull off your pj pants and let him slowly pull of your panties.

"You ready?" He asked you, laying a soft kiss on your stomach.

You nodded your head with a butterfly sick smile.

"I'm readyy."

Most times he deals with your horny self cause it's now normal to him, it makes him blush all the time but he still somehow puts up with it.

Other times he physically ends up putting up with it 🤨

Let's just say this other time.. at a restaurant.

You were sitting by him, doing your usual teasing saying stuff like

"You look soo hot right now, I want your dick in my mouth."

He gives the craziest side eye, his face already red. You giggle to yourself and look through the menu infront of you. You two were waiting for Stan and Wendy to come since it was going to be a double date (Wendy's idea, she thought it would be cute)

Once they came you and Kyle greeted them, you smiled innocently ignoring the obscure thing you just said to Kyle a few minutes ago.

"Hey guys! Glad you came!" Wendy exclaimed, sitting her self down next to Stan. "Babe they were practically forced by you to com–"

"ANYWAY- have you guys ordered yet?" Wendy cut Stan off to which he zipped his mouth with a huff. You shook your head, setting down your menu for a second then putting it back up.

"No we were waiting for you guys so I guess we can order now." Kyle said, going to look at his menu. Wendy nodded her head she then grabbed a menu and shared it with Stan, the both looked at the menu together, distracted.

You decided to make another move, you put your hand on Kyle's thigh soon rubbing it up high to his crotch. Kyle's eyes widen but his eyes still remained on the menu. You snickered, leaning over towards him.

"I want youuu Kylee." You muttered into his ear behind the menu, Kyle closed his eyes as his cheeks redden he was growing extremely nervous and trying to remain calm but holy shit you were making it very.. hard for him.

Suddenly in his last moments were he was about to loose it he had an idea. He looked at you and grinned, leaning down some to tell you something.

"Keep up and watch what happens Y/n." His words sent a shiver down your spine considering how kinda serious and hot he sounded, you were both intrigued and nervous to what he meant you just looked at him a little surprised his eyes went back to his menu, not paying attention to you.

You scoffed, looking at your menu.

What could he possibly do in such a place?

The answer was going to revealed very soon and it was the LEAST thing you expected Kyle to do.

A few minutes went by and everyone had an idea to what their order was, there was small table chat happening you talked a little but soon you tuned out to think about.. other things. As Kyle and Stan laughed you thought about Kyle's hand tracing over your bare stomach making his way downward, he licked the both of his middle and ring finger, slowly sliding them into your temple he leaned into your face and kissed you passionately to block your moans from getting out.

You felt your region throb in your seat, you ached for it to be touched but it would have to wait till later.

You just had to fantasize about something erotic 😒..

You cursed to yourself, stopping your brain from making anymore scenarios. You sighed watching the 3 of them talk and laugh. You looked over at Kyle he seemed to be settling down his laughs, he took a sip from his drink.

Wait when the hell did the drinks get here?

Nevermind anyway, you thought about what he said but soon stopped you just shrugged it off and proceeded to mess with him. You scotted closer towards him, putting your leg over his.

You waited for his reaction but he gave you nothing, you frowned trying something else. An that's when an amazing idea popped in your head (the WORST idea you ever had)

You mindlessly slipped your hand underneath his shirt, rubbing his bare skin. Now he reacted to this. He almost spat out his drink and looked at you stunned.

You looked at him, quickly removing your hand. You shot an innocent smile to him and pretend like nothing happened.

"What?" You asked, knowing damn well what you were doing. Kyle kept a keen eye on you, un amongst to you what he was planning on doing now. He sighed taking his finger towards your region.

You watched in puzzlement to what he was going to do but quickly you knew what he was doing when he started to rub your clit on the outside of whatever you are wearing, it was already wet to the touch when he rubbed it.

He let out a slight snicker to that as you began to mumble words under your breath.

"What.. the fuck.. are you doing Kyle?"

"I told you if you did something, watch what happens. You need to listen." He whispered, his finger hitting your clit hard. You nearly gasped, gripping your menu.

"Hey Kyle you alright?" Stan asked his friend, grabbing his drink. Kyle turned his attention towards him, he then smiled sweetly "Yeah I'm fine anyway what were we talking about?" He said casually, un amongst to the two of them on the other side he was rubbing his girlfriends cunt making you slowly pant in your seat.

"Oh yeah so what are your plans for summer! It's right around the corner. What about you Y/n?" The girl in her purple hat asked you.

Must she had asked you at such a horrible time??

You looked at Kyle he had a smug look, still using two fingers to massage your pussy. You thought he stop, I guess not.

You breathed in trying to act normal, "I uhm I don't- er I don't know-! Maybe.. like.. uhh.. -uhm watching movies or like.. something?? Oh fucking shit." You told her, hoping you came off as normal as possible. You also gave her a wide smile despite her not knowing you were being played with under the table.

You twitched, as she looked at you weird. "Are you okay? You look all twitchy.." Wendy asked, her voice worried. Your fingers tapped on the table quickly, swallowing a large amount of saliva as Kyle's fingers began rub your clit fast, he looked at you with a sly smirk.

"Yeah are you okay Y/n?" Now it was you giving him the side eye.

"Yes.. im.. fine. Mmh.."

You thought you would be enjoying this but god it felt like torture, but it felt so good at the same time.

Now this one of the few ways he puts up with you 😊.

[poppy-metal]

(Prettywomanau!) I can see older reader trying to be all "I'm a good person, I can ogle, but I WILL NOT fuck this young man."

And then Patrick goes and swims on the pool just when she's washing dishes (she can see the pool from the kitchen), and she's like....

"On a second thought..."

shes trying SOOOOO hard to not have any lustful cravings because its clear patrick needs a friend right now..... he has no one and even though he's an intensely sexual being she wants him to know she views him as more than that - that she actually values him. she keeps any ogling very secret and very private. she rarely touches herself because she lets patrick crash at hers more often than naught and she's too finicky to do anything- even alone in her bed.

she feels worse about it when they get closer and genuinely become friends - like she's some lecherous person but she's already an angel in patricks eyes. and he starts purposely flaunting his masculinity and sexuality more and more around her because his own feelings are getting harder to ignore. its true he was relieved you didn't ask for sex at the start but as he's gotten to know you.... man, he's down bad.

but he knows you deserve better than him. like you deserve a real man who's gonna put a ring on your finger and give you stability and all that fluffy shit - he can fuck you, he wants to fuck you, but he thinks that's all he's good for.

and you...... dont want a white picket fence kind of life. you had that - with your last marriage, and he cheated on you, was horrible to you - you're still recovering from the scars he left on your soul, like you just want a friend at first. but then you want more. but you think patrick probably needs a pretty young thing, at the end of the day. not some washed up ex housewife with too much money on her hands.

its funny because you both want eachother and you both think the other deserves better. aur.

[lixzey]

Hi again babe😊 So I thought of a request, it’s kinda long so I don’t mind if you want to put it off or something but here I go anyway.

Timmy is older than reader by quite a few years (no minors ofc💀) but they’re dating and Timmy starts to feel like he’s manipulating reader because of the age gap so he breaks up with her and is kinda mean to her. Reader is really sad cause she did love him and kinda throws herself at him. then one day she overhears him having sex with another girl and starts crying and he catches her and basically admits how he really felt bad. And then maybe makeup smut and fluff. 👍bye, happy Sunday💕

A/N: Changed it a bit, i hope it's alright! So far, this is the longest out of anything I've ever written. My first attempt at smut! This took me almost five hours to write 😭

wc: 3.4k

Info: angst, age gap, unprotected sex, oral male receiving, masturbation, read with caution

More Than Words.

Y/N loved Timothée more than anything in the world. Timothée was ten years older than her, but it didn't matter to her. The two were paired in a movie and sparks flew almost instantly. At first, Timothée was hesitant to pursue her, being older than her and all. But Y/N proved that age wasn't an issue between them, since they were both consenting adults, nothing was wrong with what they had. But being in his late thirties made him feel like he was using her. Timothée felt like he was manipulating her into being in a relationship with him. Y/N was all that he could ever want, but in the back of his mind, it felt too good to be true.

“Y/N, I don't want to do this anymore.” Timothée blurted out. He had taken Y/N to dinner at a fancy restaurant where there were a lot of people dining. 

Y/N stared at him, “What do you mean, love?”

“I want to break up, I want to end this.” Timothée said flatly, though it was more like he was trying to be intimidating—which he knew wouldn't work with her. 

Y/N was glaring at him, her (y/e/c) eyes were darkening at the sight of him, which made him feel genuinely scared of the younger woman in front of him.

“You took me out to a fancy place,” she said, looking around. “A very public place. Where I'm not allowed to scream at you without looking like a crazy bitch.” 

Timothée winced and looked down, reaching for the glass of red wine that was in front of him and drinking all of it in one go.

“You're smart, for taking me to a crowded place.” Y/N continued, her voice low, “I applaud you for that.”

“Y/N I—"

“I'm not stupid, Timothée,”Y/N snapped at him. “I know what you're doing, you fucker.”

“You're very young, younger than me . . . and . . .”

Y/N's eyes flashed dangerously, and Timothée knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing. 

“I'm going fucking punch your pretty face if you finish that motherfucking sentence.” Y/N growled. He believed her. Y/N L/N wasn't one to threaten a person, but when she did, she would absolutely hurt you. Timothée swallowed hard at the sight of the furious woman in front of him, who looked extremely sexy and made him want to kiss her hard and run his fingers in her long hair. 

Timothée did his best to look intimidating again, but he knew that it was pointless because this woman—who he dated for a year—knew him better than anyone else.  “Y/N, I don't want-” 

“You don't get to break up with me, Timothée Hal Chalamet.” Y/n shook her head defiantly. “You're not too old for me, you fucking shit! How many times have I told you-”

“I'm trying to do the right thing.” 

“Fuck that right thing bullshit, Timothée! We've been dating for almost a year and I've told you countless times, I don't care that you're older than me! I love you for you, not because of your age.” 

Timothée looked around, thankful that no one was paying them any attention. Still, a public display wasn't something that would do their careers good. Y/N being in love with her career, and living her dream. He wasn't going to let her throw her career away—her anger could be explosive, and that wasn't good if this conversation went south. He called the waiter and practically threw money at him, before grabbing Y/N's hand and pulling her out the establishment.

As soon as the two reached his car, he opened the door for the glaring woman. Timothée got in his car and drove back to Y/N's apartment. Once they arrived at her cozy apartment, Y/N had her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at him and waiting for him to explain. 

“I-uh-you're amazing, Y/N, really,” Timothée started, shifting slightly under her intense gaze, “But you deserve . . . you deserve—”

Y/N scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Someone younger? Someone more handsome? Someone who's not as thin as a stick?” 

“Yes! But hey! I am not as thin as a stick, thank you very much!” 

“I don't fucking care, Tim! I want you. I love you. Only you. Please don't do this.” 

“You deserve-”

Y/N closed the space between them and cupped his face, “I don't care what I deserve! I chose you, I made my goddamn choice to be with you, to be yours!” 

“No. No. You shouldn't have picked me, I don't deserve you. You're young, beautiful, and incredibly sexy which makes this so much harder.” Timothée insisted, gently removing her soft hands away from his face. He wanted nothing more than to pin her against the wall and fuck her senseless, but he didn't want to use her. This was already hard enough. Saying no to her took everything, and it was killing him to push her away. “You just don't know any better because we jumped right into this too fast, I manipulated you into this.” 

“What? You didn't fucking manipulate me Tim-”

“Yes, I did!” Timothée yelled, running his hands into his hair, “I manipulated you into being in a relationship with me! You didn't know any better!”

“Are you calling me stupid, Timothée Hal!?” Y/N snapped, “I chose to be with you-” 

“Maybe you are stupid! Stupid enough to fall for my bullshit!” 

“Timothée-” 

“You shouldn't have chosen me, hell,  we shouldn't have been together in the first place!” Timothée yelled, “I'm fucking thirty-eight, Y/N I'm two years closer to forty! And you're twenty fucking eight! Ten motherfuckimg years younger than me!”

“Tim, are you even hearing yourself!?” Y/N yelled back, poking his chest,  “You're fucking drowning in your insecurities!” 

Timothée looked straight into the eyes of the beautiful woman in front of him, “I just want you to be with someone who's better than me.” Timothée mumbled softly, nearly whispering as he looked down at his feet. He winced when she placed her hands on either side of his face. 

Y/N scoffed loudly. “Oh, please. You keep on thinking that you're not worthy, but you are. You are fucking worth it, worth all of the fucking things in this world.” She titled his head using her finger, making him face him. “I love you, Tim. I love you more than anything in this world. You aren't just some older guy,” Timothée winced when she said older guy, but she just chuckled, “You're mine.”

Timothée gazed into her eyes, seeing the soft look of love in them which made it much more difficult to leave her.

“You don't deserve an old man like me.” Timothée mumbled, averting his gaze away from her. 

Y/N stepped back, before sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose, “So you think just because you're older, I don't deserve you? You're going to just toss me to the side? Make it better for the both of us?” 

“Was hoping to.” Timothée mumbled. 

Y/N glared at him again. He was really pushing her buttons. She didn't give a damn that he was older, yet here he was, making a big deal of it like an idiot.

“You're a fucking idiot.” 

“I know, I'm an idiot for forcing you to be with me.” 

“If you say that you forced me, manipulated me, one more time, I swear to God I'm going to fucking break your jaw.” Y/N snapped, throwing him a threatening glare. Timothée fell silent, staring at her as the silence painfully wrapped them both. He was waiting for her to cry and hurt him, throw things at him, call him an asshole and slap him across the face, or literally anything. He was waiting for her to kick him out for breaking her heart or tell him she didn't even love him—even if it was a lie—anything. But she stood there, glossy eyed and fighting back tears. 

“Y/N, I-” 

“No. You're stuck with me, Timothée. I'm not going anywhere.”

Timothée sighed, this woman was going to be the death of him. She was absolutely stubborn, and could be a pain in the ass if she wanted to. “Y/N, you're being stubborn, love.” 

“Did I fucking stutter?” Y/N hissed, “I'm not going anywhere.” She enunciated each word as if he was a little kid or as if he was stupid. Maybe he was stupid. 

Timothée groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “Y/N, please don't make this any more harder—”

“No.” Y/N outright refused. “Haven't you met me? I'm not letting you go just because you're insecure. I'm stubborn? Hell yes, I fucking am.”

Timothée mentally kicked himself. He should have expected it when she refused to let him break up with her, he knew she wouldn't go down without a fight, and nothing will be easy with this stubborn woman—his stubborn woman. Timothée shut his eyes tightly; just looking at her, fighting for him, was painful. “Y/N,you don't know . . . you don't know what you're saying.”

Suddenly, Y/N crashed her lips into his, taking him off-guard. Timothée shut his eyes tight as he felt his knees buckle at the touch of her lips. Her fingers weaved through his curls, making him moan. Before he had the chance to think, he had his fingers buried in her long hair as he pushed his tongue inside her mouth, taking dominance. She tasted like heaven and sin, he was addicted. 

Y/N moaned, the sound of her moans made him crazy, making his already throbbing cock painfully twitch inside of his jeans. It was usually him taking dominance, and she loved it. But now, it was Y/N taking charge as she shoved him against the door, and he loved it. His hands went down to her ass, taking in handfuls of it. How he wanted to rip the dress off her and just devour her. Her lips felt like drugs, pulling him in deep every time. And then he finally realized what his intentions really were. He practically threw her off of him, feeling guilty when she yelped because she fell onto the floor.

“I'm sorry. I . . . I have to go,” Timothée said in a panic and ran out of her apartment, with Y/N trailing behind him. 

“Tim! Please, don't leave me….” Y/N called out to him from the doorway, tears in her eyes. He turned back and watched the tears stream down her cheeks. Timothée felt his heart break, he was being an dick to the woman he loved. Even if it was cowardice, he turned his back on her and walked away. 

Y/N felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. The man she loved, the man she wanted to grow old with, left and broke her heart. She wanted to scream and shout, she wanted to trash her apartment in rage and heartbreak. How was she supposed to live without him? Her other half? Y/N fell onto her knees and cried her heart out. 

An hour later she tried calling him, but he wasn't answering. She tried leaving voice messages, begging him to think about it and come back to her. She cursed him, yelled, cried, for hours until her body gave out and finally passed out.

A week later, Y/N was still crying her heart out. She was still leaving Timothée messages, still begging him to come back. But still, he wasn't answering. Her friends were getting worried, leaving her texts and calls as well, but she didn't answer any of her friends' calls and texts. 

Meanwhile, Timothée was drinking his guilt away. He kept on repeating each and every one of Y/N's voice messages. Hearing her cry and begging for him to come back made his insides twist, but he just wished that she'd forget about him and move on. But there was a part of him that hated himself for breaking her heart and wanted nothing more than to rush back to her place and kiss her, hug her, apologize for being such a dick. He would be lying to himself if he said that he didn't want to be with her. He wanted to marry her, have a family with her. But his insecurities got the best of  him. The past year of being in a relationship with her was the best year of his life. He missed her terribly, but he fucked it all up. 

Timothée sighed, before lowering his boxers. He stroked his throbbing length as he moaned her name. 

“Oh fuck, Y/N, oh baby.” he moaned as he moved his hand up and down his cock, quickening his pace as he relived the memory of fucking her against the balcony of his home. Her body, he wanted to worship her again. Timothée wanted to suck on her breasts as he traced every curve of her perfect body. He thrust his cock in his hand, grunting when he wasn't satisfied. Timothée wanted to drive back to Y/N's place so bad, he wanted her tight pussy to clench around his cock and fuck ber until she was screaming his name and came around him. He would just have to settle for his hands for the time being then. He got his phone from his nightstand and opened his gallery. He clicked open his private album of photos of her that he had taken while and after they had sex. He settled on one where her breasts and face were covered in his cum. 

“Oh, Y/N, fuck!” he moaned as he came, the sticky substance covering his hands. 

Another week later, he couldn't take it anymore. He missed her badly. He missed her smiles, her laugh, her sass, her care, her love, he missed her. Not having her body, not hearing her moans, not having her pussy clench against his cock, made him crazy. Timothée buried his face in his pillow, two weeks without her was absolutely killing him. But his pride was making it harder than it already was.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. He got up, silently cursing whoever was knocking on his door at this hour. It was fucking midnight, and he wasnt't expecting anyone. He opened the door and his breath caught in his throat. 

“Hi.” Y/N's soft voice echoed in his ears. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her hair was a mess. She was wearing sweatpants and a shirt two sizes larger. “Can I come in? Or should…..should I just go?”

“Uh, yeah. Come in.” Timothée opened the door wider and stepped aside to make way. “How…how are you?” he asked, scratching the back of his head. 

“Shitty. Absolutely shitty.” Y/N muttered as she made her way to his living room. “You?” 

Timothée stiffened, should he admit that he missed her so bad and was an absolute dickhead for everything? He stared at her, she looked miserable. She looked thinner since two weeks ago, her eyes were dull and practically lifeless. Timothée felt his heart break even more, the woman he loved was miserable because of him. 

“It's bullshit.” 

Y/N smirked at him, “Easier, huh?” 

Timothée chuckled nervously, “Nope, it isn't.” The two of them locked eyes, and before they knew it, they were kissing each other with the passion that burned inside of them. His fingers ran through her hair as his tongue entered her mouth, savoring the addicting taste of her. Y/N pulled away, which made him whine at the feeling.  

“What are we, Tim? I can't do this if you won't give me a proper answer.” Y/N whispered, her gaze slowly going down. 

Timothée tilted her head up, “I'm sorry for being an idiot.” 

“You're my idiot.” Y/N chuckled softly, “Are we okay again?” she asked hesitantly. Instead of answering her, he crushed his lips against hers. “Mine.” he moaned into the kiss. 

“Yours, forever yours.” 

Timothée picked her up, lips still locked together, her legs wrapping around his waist. He brought her up to his room and placed her gently on the bed. 

“I love you, I love you so fucking much, Y/N.” 

“I love you, Timmy. More than anything.” Timothée took off his shirt before pressing his lips back on hers, parting her lips with his tongue. He sucked on her tongue, savoring the sweet taste of her. Y/N bit on his lower lip, that made him moan into the miss. His hands trailed over her body while she pulled on his hair, whimpering at his touch. 

Timothée pulled away, tugging on her shirt, taking it off of her. He unclasped her lacy red bra with ease, taking off the offending fabric off of her chest.

“I missed these.” Y/N moaned as Timothée sucked on one of her breasts while her hands made their way to the waistband of his shorts, tugging them down along with his boxers. His cock was hard and throbbing as it sprung free.

“I still get surprised with how big you are.” Y/N chuckled, kitten licking the tip of his cock.

“Don't tease, princess.” Timothée whined. Y/N licked the tip one last time before bobbing up and down, taking his length in her mouth. 

“Merde! Princess, fuck, your mouth feels so fucking good.” he moaned, thrusting his hips forward making Y/N gag, drool dripping from the side of her mouth. She cupped his balls, sucking him harder and faster. 

“Oh, fuck, I-I'm g-gonna cum!” Timothée moaned as he released in her mouth. Y/N sucked hard, making sure to take every last drop of his cum. 

“Good girl. Now, on your back, princess.” he demanded, his voice husky. He slid her sweatpants down, taking her panties along with it. He slipped two fingers inside of her, making her whimper. He watched her as he moved his fingers in and out her, grinning when she gasped when he rubbed his thumb over her clit. “You like that, don't you, princess?” he whispered in her ear. “So wet for me, eager for my cock, aren't you?” 

“Yes, oh, f-fuck! Right there!” When he felt her walls beginning to clench around his fingers, he smirked and removed them, making her whine at the empty feeling. “Please, Tim, d-don't tease!” 

“What do you want, princess? You want my cock, huh, princess? Beg for it.” Timothée whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. 

“Please, Timmy, I want you, I need you! Fill me up with your cum until my knees give out!” Y/N begged, rubbing her thighs together to temporarily ease her desire. 

Timothée lined his cock up to her entrance, pushing in slow and deep, making her hiss. “So tight, fuck.” he groaned as thrust in and out of her at a slow pace, letting her adjust. He savored the feeling of being inside of her, her walls delectably suffocating his cock. He briefly pulled out of her only to thrust back in hard and deep, Y/N moaned loudly. “Fuck, harder! Please!” 

Timothée growled loudly and withdrew again, plunging back into her and hard and deep. “Mine,” he said in a gasping breath as he quickened his pace, Y/N's arms wrapping around him, her nails digging on his skin. Timothée gripped her hips, thrusting in and out rhythmically.

 “All yours, forever yours, only yours.” Y/N moaned. Timothée panted against her skin, growling and sucking at breasts. 

“I'm g-gonna cum!” Y/N whimpered, her nails digging deeper into his skin. 

“Cum for me, princess. Come around my cock. Gonna cum too, fuck!” 

“Oh fuck!” Y/N cried out, her arms and legs wrapping around him and gripping him tightly as she came hard around him. Timothée grunted as he spilled inside of her, “Fuck, I love you.” he whispered in her ear as he collapsed on top of her, kissing her neck up to her lips.

“I love you more.” Y/N chuckled tiredly. Timothée flipped her over so she was laying on top of him. He kissed the top of her head as she snuggled on his chest.

He missed her so much, and Timothée vowed never to let go of his woman ever again. 

“I love you, more than words can ever describe.”

@helens3amstuff @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @bobthe-turmpetman29

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

i have nowhere to go w any character rly,, just being beaten down and SO done with everything that has gone down in ur life, ending up on someone’s doorstep in the rain, asking for a moment of peace with them🥲🥲🥲

it ain't raining cause i wanted the pathetic fallacy to provide a happier setting than our dear reader's apartment - anyway, this one was fun, and is written extremely vaguely, in terms of your chosen character.

Seeking Peace - Drabble

Written with Iruka, Kakashi, Shisui, Shikamaru, Naruto, Shino, Choji, Kiba, Sai, and Neji in mind, but could work for others.

Warnings: swearing, angst, symptoms of depression (not showering, not eating), this might suck lmk

W/c: 612

Masterlist💿

You know it's gotten bad again, when you haven't had a good cup of tea in so long, that you start to forget how a proper cup should taste.

You know it's gotten bad again, when you realize you haven't showered in over a week; you can almost see the layer of dirt that clings to your skin, matting every hue.

You know it's gotten bad again, when you can't even finish a dinner roll in one sitting, even after having forgotten to eat for two days - though your stomach whales and gurgles, if you eat one bite too much, it all comes up.

You know it's gotten bad again.

Will it get better on it's own?

Stirring your tea until you can hear not a single sugar granule on the bottom, you sip the carefully brewed mixture with purpose - only to find it tastes of... ugh.

Sitting in the shower, your arms scream with exertion while washing your hair, battling the heavy tendrils with too much shampoo to quantify - but, can you find the energy to scrub your body? Ugh.

Drawing to the fridge, you hesitate to open it.

Fuck this, I need help.

So, you pull your favourite jumper over your t-shirt, and cover your legs with black track pants. Argyle socks had always ticked you, so you thought, for shits and giggles, why not?

Shoes were all you needed, then you got your keys and your coat, ready to leave.

You know where to go.

To the kindest person you know.

He was a constant presence in your life, on the sunny days and the rainy days. His door was always open, and his shoulder was always good to cry on. With him, he brought a homely warmth. one that drew you in, one that you craved, now, more than ever.

The streets are empty, and you realize it to be the dead of night. The village was asleep, washed in a silver glow and cool breeze.

The Moon tells you that it's a little past midnight, so you'd better hurry up. You heed her gentle advice, and could feel a beam of her shine along your face as a reward.

The beautiful Moon was very kind. So kind, that there was only one kinder than she.

And now you stood at his doorstep, your muscles tired, your mouth dry, and your heart heavy. Despite your thoughts that told you to go back to your apartment, you reach up and knock gently against his door. Then, wait.

And wait.

You rest your forehead against the door. Maybe you could just sleep here, on his doorstep... at least you'd be out of your apartment.

Then the door slowly cracks open.

Standing up straight, you gathered up whatever you could, and smile at him. He smiles right back, giving you a little boost.

Rubbing his eyes, he yawns, "What's the word, hummingbird? I haven't seen you in a bit."

"I'm sorry about that, and this - y'know, given the time and all..."

"Agh, don't worry about it," he assures you with a sleep-laced voice. He holds the door open wider, and motions you in. "Do you wanna come in to have a tea and a chat, or... I dunno, we could cuddle up on the couch maybe?"

He would always understand you, he would never question you - and you couldn't have been more grateful for his mere existence in the present moment. It was like he lifted the invisible weight from your shoulders, and allowed you to draw a proper breath, for the first time in what felt like ages.

"Whatever you want to do," you reply with a small, but genuine, smile. "I just want a moment of peace... with you."

[szollibisz]

Do you have any hcs abt how Curt and Owen "came out" to one another? (Using the term loosely cuz obviously they can't just be like "IM GAY") And also how they got together (who fell first etc etc)

Ok, so to preface this, my favourite thing about curtwen is just how many ways you can interpret their pre-canon relationship.

I try to keep their story relatively loose in my head, save for a few headcanons I very strongly believe in, because it's more fun this way.

For me, the #1 headcanon that's in all the iterations I think of, is that they hated each other at first. I think their personalities clash way too much for them to be all buddy-buddy on the first day. (Physical attraction? maybe. Was it minuscule compared to their irritation with each other? yes.)

I just think it's interesting how the two of them gradually (and begrudgingly) start to care about each other.

I think their "friendship stage" is one of my favourite parts about the whole thing. Now I refuse to believe either of those men have friends. Maybe coworkers and acquaintances, but not friends. Which is why this stage lasts so little.

As their work their way up to care for and respect each other, both of them go a little crazy about it.

It's the first time in years or even decades they felt genuine affection and maybe even trust, and both of them are extremely starved for it. So it really doesn't take much for them to fall for each other. (especially since the aforementioned physical attraction was always there and only getting stronger as they learned to tolerate each other)

I imagine, because of this, Owen was the one who fell first, and he employed his usual tactic for dealing with unwanted feelings: Being an ass and depriving himself of good things. He got more intense about his work, trying to immerse himself in it, so he'll stop thinking about Curt. He stayed up late, didn't even try to take it easy when he had a migraine, drank shit coffee and other great things.

It technically worked. He looked like shit, which in turn made Curt worried, and if Owen completely invalidated his worries the two of them would get into a fight, be mad at each other and not interact so much. Owen thought this would make him not yearn for Curt so bad (he still did, in fact, yearn for him that bad)

When Curt realized he was in love with Owen he was pretty horrified. Like listen. If someone has commitment issues it's Curt. Maybe he had a boyfriend or two during his teenage years/twenties, but they didn't end well, and since then he's been trying to keep everybody at arms length. He convinced himself Owen wasn't so bad because hey. They were just buddies (and Curt desperately needed a buddy.)

He tried to shove down and ignore his feelings, but moaning your friend's name while banging another guy may just be a little more than what you can avoid.

He never understood why Owen turned so cold suddenly, and he was terrified Owen just didn't like or trust him anymore. In turn he was also mad at him for trying to shut him out.

Their little hate renaissance could only last so long though. They were still each other's only friends and no matter what they did they kept being drawn back to each other.

This was a super long preface but. I am not normal about those two.

So. different scenarios and headcanons and whatnot

1. Either one of them somehow discovers the other is gay. This would probably mean Owen finding out about Curt, because, I wholeheartedly believe that man would leave during a mission sometimes just to get a quick fuck in. Maybe Owen finds out with evidence (fast & easy method) or he just starts strongly suspecting with his great spying and deduction skills (slow & torturous method, he'd try to convince himself he's just seeing what he wants to see) either way, the confrontation would be very uncomfortable for both of them. Curt would deny it ofc, and Owen would go through the internal battle of "tell him it's fine, you won't rat him out, but be a little homophobic about it, so maybe you can keep the only friend you have, but also be ok with the fact that he'll always be with other men and never you" or "tell him you're gay too, maybe he likes you, maybe not, and potentially risk losing your job and livelihood and everything you've ever worked for" He'd most likely end up doing the latter, surprising both Curt and himself. (He's already way more into Curt than he admits to himself) And things escalate from there.

2. Dramatic post mission (maybe a "I thought I'd never see you again" moment) This is where their friendship gets really interesting to me. For a scenario like this the months long yearning is a given, maybe even a lot of unresolved tension between the two (which would probably be resolved with violence anyways) They care very deeply about each other by now. They know each other better than anyone, and their idyllic relationship is only made into a living hell by all the pining. At this point I mean, they'd buy each other birthday gifts, go over to the other's house when they were in the same country and share way too much info over drinks. Their job is always dangerous, but even they can get scared. Maybe we're talking being crazy outnumbered, or a torture/hostage situations, or hell even a collapsing building. Point is, id either one of them thought the other (or both of them) may die, at this point they'd be impulsive enough to just say I love you or kiss the other. In the moment neither of them would care, and later on, when you'd normally talk about things like near death makeout sessions, they'd just. not. do that, because communication is for guys with better life prospects. This one has absolutely no coming-out talk in it, simply because they don't need it

3. Possibly drunk hookup Now clearly, we are talking about two of the most down bad men ever. This is one scenario, I think could also work really well when they still really hated each other. Maybe throughout their first few mission they both gathered enough evidence and sussed each other out, and after (yet another) explosive fight they might just. Alleviate the tension by not beating each other up but by. other means. They don't end up talking much about it, but it keeps happening, and wait maybe they don't even hate each other all that much. (This is the more sober option) The other one is where the "possibly drunk" comes in. If they've been friends for a while, they probably got used to working around each other and finding comfort in the other's presence. This includes little habits, inside jokes, and even (very small) physical touches. This probably wouldn't go down during a mission, it's more likely to happen at either Curt's or Owen's house, maybe during some holiday. Both of them realizing it's a pretty bad idea early on, because, without all the stress of the missions and navigating a foreign country all that's left is them and the feelings they have for each other. Owen would probably say no to drinks for the first few times, just to avoid a potentially dangerous situation, but Curt would wear him down eventually. Now, with both of them drunk and comfortable, it wouldn't take much for things to escalate. Maybe Curt forgets to take his hand off of Owen after patting him on the back, or Owen holds Curt gaze for a little too long. Either way, those two end up fucking. The next day both of them are a little horrified, but they manage to come clean about their feelings (even if it's in the most backwards and convoluted way possible)

Happy ending (or not) There's many more ways it could've happened, but I already wrote wayyyy too much I think.

In the end I don't think they'd ever have a proper conversation about homosexuality, even way into their relationship. It's something they slowly pick up on from each other. How ashamed are they, what makes them tick, what you shouldn't say etc. And then of course, since they don't communicate properly and sometimes purposefully hurt each other, they'd throw it all back in the other's face.

I'm not sure this is what you meant when you asked for hcs, but I got carried away.

[yuurivoice]

Hi Yuuri I just wanted to say I miss Howell. That’s all I hope you have a good day😊

I do too! There's still a lot about him I want to know and figure out. I was able to delve into him a bit more (and get some much needed closure) with some friends. I don't think he's really a character that I want to do various iterations of in different worlds and campaigns, because it's that specific story of his that I love. If it's removed from that world and story, I'd rather have another shot at a new character.

I was able to salvage a couple of relationships out of the rubble from the entire ordeal surrounding TnD, and I've got no beef with anyone who wasn't literal human trash, so Howell's place in my heart is unscathed in terms of being attached to a really shitty time and situation.

Reflecting on those days, that shit was a nightmare scenario. Obviously my own emotional turmoil pales in comparison to the literal criminal and victim in our midst, don't get that twisted because those most directly impacted by one asshole's actions should be the primary concern. It is a hell of a pill to swallow having something that dear to you go up in flames in such a public and grotesque way.

I don't blame anyone who feels any type of way about how it was handled and the aftermath of it. The truth of it all is, one person's really fucked up actions had widespread effects on a lot of people. The radius of that bomb was no joke.

Howell is very dear to me, and those Sundays were genuinely the favorite day of the week for me over that time. The backlash, anger, resentment, and then emptiness of it all really took its toll, as I'm sure it did on everyone caught in the blast zone.

The bad guy got got in the end, and I'm thankful for the folks who made sure that happened.

That year as a whole was really difficult. That wasn't the only heavy thing I had to work through that year. There was a stretch of six months that were probably the worst of my adult life in terms of interpersonal turmoil. The universe really took a bat to my kneecaps.

Saying ALLLLLLLL of that to say, if I had lost my love for Howell, it would have taken a significant toll on me creatively. I would not so freely share the parts of myself it takes to create the stories and characters I do now. I can pretty confidently say that something like Echoes or Shattered would never happen.

I struggled mightily with BitterSweet Chapter 3 for that reason. It was hard to want to carve out pieces of myself to share with the world, and certainly very difficult to work with anyone else out of fear that their bad actions could rob me of my passion even more.

But I learned a lot, and over that time I also think I was able to show my community how serious situations get handled while I'm at the helm. I hate that me and the team have been on the frontlines of a few really serious community PR nightmares, but I do think we've been able to exhibit an ability to treat things with maturity, respect, and direct action.

So Howell means a lot to me. We've been on two journeys, one fictional, and one real...and boy we've gotten our asses kicked more than a few times.

There is a chance, albeit a small one, that there's a DnD story to be told with Howell and some friends, for the world to partake in. Don't know if it'll happen, but the chances aren't 0%...