#i have just woken up. i am not going to reread this because then the anxiety will get the better of me and i will vanish into a hole again

[dragon-swords-prophecies]

Hi, I've been meaning to do this for several months, executive dysfunction got the better of me, and it's 1 in the morning (or, it was, but then I fell asleep while writing this, but 95% of it was written at 1 in the morning), but, hi, hello, your friendly neighborhood [insert adequate descriptor here, I'm too tired to come up with anything right now]!

I have not posted anything original on this blog for. uh. months. my best guess running at actual long form not fulfilling a tag game thing is november. of 2022 (I can't check I'm on mobile). which is much time ago! (the last tag game fulfilling writing posting was in like may) hi, I'm not dead and I haven't stopped writing forever, I just had one fucking hell of a year for mental health and school and moving up schools

but! it's summer now, I'm some twenty ish days into break, and I suddenly have spoons again. wow. I forgot what that feels like. I've done So Many Things recently it's insane, anyway--

I have been writing things! I'm doing an impromptu (as in started it on July 13th) camp nano challenge of typing up 3000 words of the massive amount of Enna's prequel I handwrote in a notebook at varying distressingly late hours of the night. I am actually decently close to done with that, I got a shitload done the other day, that's to say:

this lovely little blog of mine has been unintentionally mostly dormant for a while now, but it has been woken up and there will be things here again! tomorrow, even! (or today. timezones.)

lots of things have changed, in the stories, I have finally figured out a MASSIVE AND HELLISH plot hole in Enna's prequel story, and it's all figured out now, and I'm so fucking happy it's awesome can my brain feel like this all the time please the serotonin is excellent, but fixing that plot hole means that I need to redo so much lore and and backstories now it's ridiculous

to everyone who's sent me asks and tagged me in games and etc in the last few months/year. I'm sorry. I'll do most (hopefully almost all) of them. (Sleepy especially, I'm sorry, I'm not really sure if that means anything to you I probably sound like a broken record but I do mean it genuinely, I'm sorry, I will answer all of the ones you've sent me)

[dotster001]

Waking Him up with a Kiss

Summary: Malleus/Silver/Jamil x Gn!Reader. You wake your lover up with a kiss.

Requested by an anon. Fuck you, Tumblr.

CW: Jamil is kinda sus but I wouldn't be doing him justice if he wasn't.

Also! Always get consent from your partner before kissing them in their sleep! That's a cool kid thing to do!

He'd been hinting at this for a while now. All his life, Lilia had regaled him with fairy tales where the sleeping prince or princess was woken with true love's kiss. Malleus had always been a hopeless romantic, and, damn, did he want that!

He'd left the books out when he slept over. He made sure that if he knew you would come looking for him, he'd nap on his back. He sighs dreamily (and loudly) whenever he rereads those fairytales next to you. He waxes on and on about how romantic being awoken with a kiss is. He knows he's dense. But he thinks you're worse.

Lilia giggles and says to be patient, Silver says to just tell you what he wants, and Sebek says to just banish you for the treason of making him sad. He decides that Lilia has never steered him wrong before, so he decides to be patient.

And one day it happens. He's dreaming of you, walking through a meadow, hand in hand. You turn to him, your radiant smile glowing brighter than the sun of his dreams. You press your lips to his, gentle as a cloud, and it feels so real that he doesn't want to wake up.

But he does, and he moans a little as he regrets losing the dream world. But the feeling of your lips doesn't fade. Light as a cloud, gentle as a dove, a feeling that makes him feel so full inside he thinks he'll burst.

His eyes flutter open, and there you are, on your knees in the grass, smiling softly as you push one of his dark bangs away from his eyes. He smiles sleepily, putting together that his dream came true.

“Now that you've given me a taste, I hope you know that I am insatiable,” he said, his voice still husky with sleep. You giggled, as though you thought he was joking.

Oh, you sweet little human.

He is not joking.

He has told you this on many occasions. If you are hanging out, and he falls asleep, do whatever you need to to wake him up. He originally tried to be chill about it, but eventually he let on just how much it distressed him when he missed time with you. He didn't want to miss out on any time with you. Yes, it was partially for you. But if he was honest, it was mostly for him. It hurt his chest to think about losing time with someone he loved. Being around the fae taught him every moment mattered.

Usually, you try everything. You shake him, you steal his pillow, you bang a pot, you set three alarms to go off at the same time. But today, you tried something different.

Silver blinked his eyes open, only to be met by your uncertain ones staring back at him, your face hovering a few inches above his.

He gently lifted a hand to his lips, the ghost of your kiss lingering. He may not have been fully awake for it, but he knows it happened.

His mind was immediately transported to a moment in his youth. He was sitting by his father, sniffling sadly because he fell asleep during Lilia's birthday party. 

“Ah, my sweet son,” Lilia said with a warm smile, gently nuzzling his cheek against Silver's. “I know it's not your fault. Even doctors have told you you can't help it. I am not upset at all.”

“But it's your birthday,” Silver sniffled. “I feel like I must be cursed.”

Lilia's eyes widened in understanding.

“That must be it!” He said excitedly. He ran to the nearby bookshelf and pulled off a book, before nodding sagely.

“Yes, that must be it, look,” he flipped to a page in the story, pointing to a picture of a sleeping princess being kissed awake by a knight in shining armor. “I know this curse! When you find true love, perhaps their kiss will save you!”

Silver excitedly nodded at the picture, his eyes wide.

Lilia snapped the book shut, authoritatively. “But until then, I don't want you to be sad when you fall asleep. Your hero will save you one day. And they might be sad that they took a long time to save you. So if you are less hard on yourself, it might help them feel better. Promise?”

Silver nodded happily.

Lilia is a menace, filling his son's heads with fairytales. /Affectionate

In the present, Silver smiled softly.

“Did you kiss me awake?”

“Sorry, I know I should have asked, but I figured when you said wake me up however I can-”

“That's correct. I could have said it plainly, but this is definitely what I pictured when I said that. But in case you need me to verbally say it, yes, please continue to wake me up like this. I think I will wake up every single time.”

You smiled at him, still hovering over him, making him long for your kiss again.

“You know, I wasn't awake for the last one. Would you please kiss me again?”

You giggled, then leaned in and pressed your lips to his.

“I feel like I need more ways to show my love for you,” you said thoughtfully. Jamil sat next to you on your bed in Ramshackle, reading over your report, and checking for mistakes.

“And what makes you say that?” He hummed in amusement.

“Seriously? You do everything for me! And I'm just kinda here!”

“I'm perfectly satisfied with that. In fact, I'd rather do all the hard stuff so that you have the energy to shower me in affection when I'm done,” he snickered to himself. If anything, a small selfish part of him liked the idea of you feeling like you had something to prove. It made you a very physically affectionate lover to “make up for it”. And while he was easily flustered, he very much liked the gentle caresses, warm embraces, and hungry kisses you gave him.

“Tell you what,” he hummed, handing you back the marked up report. It would take you hours to make the corrections. He loved you, but you were at a disadvantage when it came to college courses in the laws of magic. “I'm going to take a nap. When you finish, I'd really feel loved if you kissed me awake.”

He laid down, resting an arm over his eyes. 

“You could just stay the night if you're that tired,” you said in that tone of voice that only came when you were pouting.

“Can't. Kalim has a test tomorrow, and I need to make sure he wakes up for it.”

You grumbled something, but he was already out cold.

He felt…warm. He softly sighed, as he felt your kiss deepen. Still not opening his eyes, he wrapped an arm around your neck, and continued sleepily kissing you. Yeah. This is the life he wanted. To be rewarded for his hard work with your affection.

He finally opened his eyes with a scowl when you pulled away.

“I didn't say to stop. This is about expressing your love, right?” He snickered.

You pouted. “I miss when every single thing would fluster you.”

He scowled and stood up, stretching away the sleepiness as he prepared for his trek back to his dorm.

“I don't.”

You smiled sweetly, then reached out for his hair.

“Luckily,  I can still make you all blushy when I play with your hair.”

Tag list- @shytastemakerthing @eccedentesiast-sapphic @leoll @stygianoir @pikeru565

“Good night love,” he scowled as he stormed out of the room.

....

[shouldhavebeenpersephone]

In GTN chapter 36, Cytherea says “None of you have learned how to die gracefully. I learned over 10,000 years ago"

Do you know/have a theory as to how Cyth could have learned anything pre-resurrection? She was not one of the original lyctors present for the resurrection and it was only 10,000 years ago. It could be hyperbole but I am suspicious of the “over 10,000 years”.

Thank you so much for the ask! I wanted to take my time with it, I hope you didn't mind the wait.

I actually had been chewing on this with my most recent GtN reread. Bear with me as I cut and paste all the pieces that form my thoughts on this - hopefully it's somewhat coherent to read.

Could "over 10000 years" be a hyperbole? Maybe. A lot of characters tell the 'truth' as far as they believe it to be so even if it's factually incorrect. I don't think, however, that Tamsyn would make Cytherea say it in this specific way if it was a hyperbole. In GtN chapter 35 where Palamedes confronts Cytherea we get the following lines, which are what feed my intuition about this:

"Don't lie to me, please."

Dulcinea said, "I have never lied to any of you."

Cytherea has no reason to lie, especially not after being confronted by Palamedes. She tells him herself - she has been giving pieces of the truth and using those to manipulate the narrative. Because of this and because it's much more fun if it isn't a hyperbole I see no point to dismiss it as an emotional inaccuracy.

So let's say she is over 10,000 years old. How does that work?

First thing I went looking for while trying to figure this out was the question of Cytherea's birth. On the fandom wiki, it states that Cytherea was born into the established Seventh. I have been combing through the books, and I cannot find anything in canon that truly confirms this. What we do know of the timeline and her age is the following from HtN chapter 9:

"When they first brought her to Canaan House, I thought there'd been some mistake. - She was just shy of thirty then, I recall. -

-Was she the first gen, or second?"

"Second," said God. "Early second. We were still experimenting with getting the Sixth installation up and running. Some of the Houses were empty."

Mercymorn spoke up: "No. We had it running by then. Because Valancy was with us, and Anastasia."

-"Yes, you're right. We were all there to meet her. All sixteen of us -

'Some of the houses were empty' is the important line here, because in NtN John 5:4 Harrow describes how the resurrection happened:

-You resurrected some of them. You wake up fewer still. You start out with a few thousand, then, later, some hundred thousand, then millions, but never more than millions. You teach them how to live all over again. You teach yourself. -

The houses are named in order of resurrection. The Seventh, then, comes after the Sixth, which should make it obvious that by the time Cytherea arrived the Sixth was already established - or the Seventh wouldn't have existed. Yet, for some reason, for John this is not as obvious. I have found what could be an explanation in HtN chapter 2:

He said, "No. I haven't truly resurrected anyone in ten thousand years. But at that time... I set many aside, for safety... and I've often felt bad about just keeping them as insurance. They've been asleep all this myriad, Harrow, -

The difference wouldn't be as obvious to John, because he didn't resurrect the houses one by one. He resurrected a chunk of the earth's population, kept them dormant, and piece by piece woke them up to populate the houses. Beyond the fact that Cytherea is never said to have been born on the Seventh in canon (again, to my knowledge - please correct me if I missed it), the following from HtN chapter 2 really seals the deal in my eyes that she was not born on the Seventh but rather woken up for the Seventh.

The emperor said gently, "She needs to go home, Harrow."

"That was never her home," he said.

You did not look. "And will the Seventh House accept her?"

I also considered John might feel Cytherea belongs at home with the other Lyctors and therefore denies that the Seventh is her home, but then remembered the following from the same chapter:

He said, "No Lyctor has ever returned home, once we understood the reprecussions... no Lyctor except one, who knew I would come to intercept her for that very reason."

He is talking about how Harrow cannot go home to the Ninth, and referring to Cytherea going home by returning to Canaan house located on earth. John also talks about the kind of people he resurrected in NtN John 5:4:

-We'll get them all back... some of them, anyway... or at least, the ones I want to bring back. Anyone I feel didn't do it. Anyone I feel had no part in it. Anyone I can look at the face of and forgive. -

Part of the same chapter I included above in combination with this one make me itchy almost. Harrow says 'You teach them how to live all over again.' That almost feels like it should be people who recently learned how to live. Like John only resurrected kids.

Think about it. He resurrects his loved ones and ones he can forgive. People who did not take part in the destruction of earth in his eyes. Who other than children could he really be talking about? Children, babies, who have no power to decide or influence to exert, who - even if they did have the power - do not have the capacity to understand the consequences of their actions. Whose memories will be easiest to erase because there is so little to begin with.

It then also makes sense why there were two generations of Lyctors. The population he woke up had to grow up into adults first. Why else would he have half a band of Lyctors trying to settle all of the Houses? If he was able to pick adults worthy of resurrection, he would have been able to pick adults capable of establishing his houses and becoming his hands and gestures.

One final point that drives this home is the following from the very beginning of GtN in chapter 7 when Teacher tells the Ninth about Dulcinea's condition:

"Dulcinea Septimus was not meant to live to twenty-five,"-

Dulcinea's hereditary disease is the same as Cytherea's. John did not know she was sick when she first was brought to Canaan house, which means that when he resurrected her, she must have been young enough to not be actively dying yet. Perhaps a toddler or a child who had been sick for some time - long enough to know what it feels like to slowly be dying.

So, all in all, my answer is that Cytherea was not born on the Seventh. I am not sure where the idea that the second generation was born on their planets of origin came from, but I honestly doubt any of them were born instead of woken. Cytherea claiming to have learned something 10,000 years ago would be a great way for Tamsyn to give us just enough to figure it out - this is, after all, the same author who gave us the big reveal of the second book in the first sentence of the first book of her series.

[jelliezellie]

hi!! could i request levi falling in love with a workaholic reader and he tries to push it down but literally cannot keep himself away 😭

A/N: Your guys’ requests are amazing!! I love this one, I’m gonna reread this every time I stay up all night working on my book. I'm not sure if this is good enough because I barely proofread it but enjoy!

Workaholic - Levi x Reader

You signed another paper after spending twenty minutes writing about a single incident that happened in the field. It was nothing major; nobody got hurt. Two cadets went off-course for a moment but came back immediately. Yet, you were stuck doing paperwork for them because of their mistakes. 

You sighed, placing the paper on top of the “finished work” pile. You stared at the intimidating stack of paperwork you were given and grabbed another.

Footsteps approached your room, then everything went quiet. Your eyes flickered to your door, then back to your paperwork when nothing happened. A few moments later, someone knocked. “Y/n,” Levi called, “can I come in?”

“Yes,” you replied, not setting your pen down as you continued to fill out paperwork. 

Levi slowly opened the door and stared at you. His eyes were baggy and his voice was rough but soft as if he had just woken up. “Why are you still awake?” He questioned, crossing his arms. 

“The sun just set,” you replied, signing your name, “I just need to finish these papers.”

Levi scoffed and sat across from you, tilting his head. “What time do you think it is?” He asked, staring at your paperwork. 

You shrugged. “10 PM? 11? I don’t know.”

“It’s 2 AM,” he deadpanned, “and we have a mission tomorrow.” You didn’t respond as you kept filling out papers. “Y/n, look at me.”

You sighed and looked at him with unamused eyes. He frowned when he noticed the exhaustion that spread across your face. He noticed how your lips were cracked from biting your lip while you were deep in thought, something he always found charming about you. He noticed how dark the bags under your eyes were. 

“What do you want?”

“I want you to go to bed.”

“Not until I finish all of this.” You took another paper from the stack but Levi grabbed your wrist. 

“Then,” he hesitated. “Then let me help. You’re running out of ink for your pen and you don’t even have folders to file anything in,” he said, letting your hand go. “We’ll get everything done.”

You stared at him, then at the stack of papers. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. Come on; take the papers with you. I have ink and folders in my office.” 

You stood, carrying the papers behind Levi as he led you to his office and opened the door. You sat on one side of his desk while he sat on the other, sliding pens and ink and folders to you. 

Together, you worked in silence for a little while. Every now and then, you could feel his eyes on you, but you didn’t say anything or even look his way. He was charming, but you were too focused on the work. Finally, he broke the silence. “Are you alright?”

“Fine.”

He looked up from the work and stared at you again. “Your hand is trembling. Do you need to take a break?”

“No.”

He sighed and stood, walking away for a moment. You noticed, as you worked, that missed his presence near you. You missed the quiet sighs and the sounds of his fingers grabbing a pen to write in his perfect handwriting. You missed the way he’d grab a paper and his hand would get so close to yours. 

Finally, you looked up from the work and blinked for the first time in what felt like hours. Levi returned with tea for you and for him. You sipped from it, staring at him with a soft smile as he sat down again. “You remembered how I like my tea,” you mumbled.

“Yeah.”

“I only told you once,” you replied with a grin.

He stared at you. “I only needed to hear it once.”

You nodded and continued working, going back into the trance of concentration. Your hand ached but at least you were getting a lot done. 

An hour later, Levi picked up the last paper and filled it out, then stood and stretched. He opened his mouth to say something but then noticed how you were sound asleep on his desk, your arms supporting your head. “Nuisance,” he muttered under his breath, trying to suppress his smile.

Bonus: (slight one-bed trope)

He couldn’t just leave you there. Levi sighed and lifted you up gently, taking note of how your head rested on his shoulder so perfectly. He took you back to your room and place you on your bed. Your arms were still wrapped around his shoulders as he tucked you in and tried to pull away.

“Stay,” you mumbled. Levi couldn’t tell if you were asleep or not when you said that, but his heart melted in his chest as he sat on your bed beside you. He pulled the covers over himself, too, as your hands still wrapped around him. 

“Idiot,” he whispered as he closed his eyes.

[subbe93]

It Has Always Been You, Chapter 4

Shinichi and Ran met each other and cleared the air between them. Everything is fine. Or is it?

A/N: Hello! Here we have another chapter and didn’t take as long as the last one! :’D Well, to be honest, I planned to publish this a week ago, but sadly I got sick and didn’t have the energy to work with this. And it’s sad because this week had been so busy with everything else, but since I wanted so badly to publish this, I decided to find time to finish this! And I’m so excited! Every time I reread this chapter, I get so excited to continue this! I am also so happy that I got the last week of this semester on next week, so after that, I start my holiday and hopefully have more time to write this ^^ I’m so excited to get my hands on the next chapter!

But before we get the next chapter done, I hope you enjoy this one :3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4: "Are you sure?"

Ran looked at that American woman whom Shinichi had asked her to meet. She listened to how this woman told her in English how she and Shinichi had met - the same story that Shinichi had told her, but a longer version. It has more descriptions and more details. It was a version that Ran wasn’t sure if she really wanted to hear about. Julia smiled all the time and talked about him with so much enthusiasm. She didn’t even hide how much Shinichi had told her about Ran and even told her how Shinichi had told about their breakup and how it had broken his heart…

It made her feel bad. It really did. She almost wanted to stand up and go to the table where Shinichi sat, reading something and sipping his coffee. He had come with them, just in case there was going to be some kind of language barrier between them, but told them that he was going to take another table and just be there by himself. But Ran just wanted to stand up, go to him, and apologize - again. She hadn’t done very well with their breakup. She had always claimed to be there for him, and yet she realised now how she had just thrown him away, forgotten him until he had disappeared.

And Ran wanted to hate Julia. She wanted to hate how happy she looked, how she told her everything about them and their relationship and asked questions about Ran and her relationship with Shinichi. Julia didn’t even seem to think that maybe Ran wouldn’t want to share with her. And some kind of monster part of her has woken up in her. Like she wanted to share things that only she knew about Shinichi. Those were only hers to know, and if Shinichi hadn’t revealed them to Julia, she didn’t see any reason why she should share them!

But Ran knew she was just being selfish. What in the world she would do with that knowledge anymore? And another thing was, she really couldn’t hate Julia. She seemed to be nice and kind, straightforward and eager. Curious. And she talked about Shinichi so highly.

“Shinichi is so awesome, right?” Julia asked. “He is reliable and righteous and so brave! But he is also nice and kind and romantic. He is someone who you can always lean on and who makes you feel safe.”

Like she needed to tell those things to Ran. She knew it. God, she wanted to say that she knew better than anyone else! But still, she just smiled and told her that she was right. In the end, Shinichi deserved only the best, and Julia seemed to be one who genuinely liked him - loved him.

And it felt terrible to admit it. Ran wondered if she should have declined that offer when Shinichi had asked her to meet Julia. She was doubting if she really wanted to meet her, just because she felt heartbroken and wasn’t sure if she was ready, but at the same time, she hadn’t had the heart to decline it.

But now she was sure that she hadn’t been ready for this.

“I love him”, Julia said with the happiest smile on her face. “I love him so, so much! I love him more than anything!”

“Ran?”

Ran shook her head and turned to look at Sonoko, who smiled at her. “Let’s go, the game is going to start soon!”

Ran needed a moment to look around to get herself back to this moment and remind herself that she wasn’t in that cafe anymore. Instead, she saw familiar faces from her high school years, smiling and talking and ready to move inside. Everyone seemed to be so excited about the laser tag that they were planning to play before going to a restaurant. And that excitement started to catch Ran too.

“Yeah, let’s go”, she answered. She followed Sonoko and almost promised herself just to enjoy tonight, but then she saw a glimpse of Shinichi, who was talking and laughing with others. And somehow something heavy dropped on her heart. She looked at that smile that had always made her heart race in her chest and butterflies fly in her stomach, and she remembered Julia, how happy she had looked yesterday when they had met. When she had told Ran how much she loved Shinichi…

“I love him so, so much! I love him more than anything!”

She knew she shouldn’t have been bothered by those words. She knew she should move on, just be happy for him, for them. But at the same time, she also remembered those times when Shinichi had told her that he loved her. He had always said he loved her more than anything. He never repeated those words too often, which was the reason that it sounded so special when he had said them.

She wondered if he had said those same words to Julia too. And if something, that made her heart ache.

But it was her own fault. She had let him go. And it was only right that he had moved on. And… she was happy about it.

She still remembered the moment before they had parted away yesterday. All that time, Ran had wanted to tell Julia to take good care of Shinichi, because he was still so special and important to her, but at the same time, she hadn’t got those words out of her mouth. She knew that part of her had been scared to let go of him. She knew she should, but… but…

She just wasn’t ready.

And she moved her eyes away from Shinichi, trying to concentrate on what other women were talking about. She was here, having fun with others! And she would do it! And since Julia wasn’t here, she could pretend this one evening that everything was like before. She could pretend that they were still friends like in high school, she could forget that he had a fiancée… And she could forget that tomorrow, he was going back to America and she wouldn’t see him ever again.

She would survive, right?

“Hah, you were losers from the start!”

“Shut up, Tashiro-san! We almost won!”

“In your dreams!”

“Yeah, we would have”, Aizawa continued, and Shinichi saw how he angrily glanced at him. “If someone wouldn’t have been so weak and given that win for Mouri-san.”

Shinichi put a dry smile on his lips. “Speaks the one who dropped out the first.”

Aizawa grimaced. “Come on, you could have won! It was just you and Mouri-san, you could have won!”

“Well, can’t help it”, Hidaka interrupted. “Ran-san just is better than Kudo-kun…”

“Hah! He lost only because it was Mouri!”

“Now now, you two…”

“Hey, don’t listen to him”, Shinichi heard Nakamichi say. He felt a hand on his shoulder. “He is just a bad loser.”

“I don’t care”, Shinichi answered and looked at his old friend with a grin. “It was fun.”

Women versus men were their teams. It had been the fastest way to make teams and start the game.

To be honest, he hadn’t been a big fan of the idea of laser tag. Like… could there be anything more childish? But he couldn’t lie, as soon as he had seen how excited others had been, he had decided to go along - and finally got excited too and given his all.

He did. He really did. When other boys from his team had dropped out one by one, he had fought his way and took out girls as much as possible.

Until it had been he against Ran. How they had stared at each for a moment, realising that it was only two of them. And that grin… God, somehow Shinichi had remembered how much they had hated to lose each other. He had met an opponent who wasn’t easy to take down.

That fight had been very enjoyable. Ran didn’t go easy on him, and he had done everything to win her. He had needed all his skills and senses awake, concentrating only on what Ran had done.

But he had lost. Sadly. But he wasn’t mad about it. It seemed to irritate some of his team members because they believed that he had let Ran have that one, but why in the world he would have done that? Ran was a pretty capable woman and she would have destroyed him if he would go easy on her.

But they didn’t know her like he did.

And Shinichi admitted it, Ran had been on edge. There was a moment when Shinichi had thought that he had her, but sadly, he hadn’t been careful enough. One little mistake and Ran had taken him down.

“Okay, let’s forget it already”, someone shouted, taking Shinichi out of his thoughts. “Let’s go to eat!”

They were reserved a few tables for themselves. From the start, they were sharing what was going on in their lives, what they were doing, and if they still lived in Tokyo. Some of them were married and some even had family already. And some were still single. Shinichi was pretty surprised to see that no one asked anything about him and Ran or what happened to their relationship. When he mentioned that he was engaged to Julia, everyone seemed to be silent before congratulating him. Well, it wasn’t like he minded it because part of him didn’t like to get too much attention on himself, but truthfully their congratulations had been a little bit silent.

But at the same time, Shinichi wondered if they had been just in shock. In the end, everyone believed in him and Ran being together forever. And he didn’t blame anyone, because he had believed in that too.

But things had changed and he was just happy that no one didn’t snooped anything else. They didn’t ask what happened to them, and they asked only a little about Julia. Just who she was and how they met.

Of course, after Ran had told them that she was single right now and concentrating on her career, Iwata opened his mouth and asked if she would like to go on a date with him. Which wasn’t a surprise, because Ran was still a beautiful and kind woman, who would get anyone she ever liked to. But like people needed to try to hit her like that? Shinichi almost wanted to go and hit that idiot and teach him some manners, but Ran was faster and refused, saying that he wasn’t the man that she was looking for. Others laughed at him, and Shinichi felt happy. He couldn’t believe that Iwata had thought Ran to be easy prey, and he was happy to know that Ran wasn’t falling for a man like him. Of course, he wasn’t sure how much Iwata had changed during these years but Ran deserved so much better.

But after those so-called formalities, they started to reminisce and talk about everything else. And somehow, pretty fast, it started to feel like they were high schoolers again. Everything turned out to be relaxing and they were joking and laughing at the same things as back then. Shinichi found himself to enjoy about it. Even though he had always been conscientious and enjoyed doing detective work even in high school, he had missed his old classmates and that relaxing atmosphere with them. How playful they could be back then and how much fun they had had.

The food was served and eaten, and they decided to stay for longer, to wait an hour before the nightclub would open and they could start their party. Someone told them that they had a table reserved in the nightclub too, which sounded nice, but Shinichi was still pretty sure that when they left the restaurant, he would go back to the hotel. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t like to spend more time with others, and it wasn’t like he didn’t drink any alcohol, but he just didn’t care about the idea of being in the loud place where everyone was drinking until they were done…

He just liked to spend time with others, drink a drink or two, and just talk. But he believed that the time in the restaurant would be enough for him.

“Hey, Kudo-kun?”

Shinichi ripped himself away from one of those conversations that was going on and looked over his shoulder. He was a little bit surprised to see Sonoko there, looking at him.

“What’s up?” he asked. He started to feel a little nervous because he hadn’t talked with Sonoko after the breakup. Part of him liked how easily she seemed to approach him, but it was Sonoko, and he was pretty sure that anything could come out of her mouth.

“Can we talk a little bit?” she asked.

Shinichi looked at those bluish eyes for a moment, trying to find any hint of what she wanted from him. But all he could see was her seriousness, which kind of told him that it could be anything. Not really helping. But if it was something serious, he felt like there wasn’t a chance to decline. So he shrugged as an answer and stood up.

No one questioned where they were going, so Shinichi just followed Sonoko to another part of the restaurant, a little further from the others. And it only made Shinichi feel restless, even though he tried to ignore it. What in the world did Sonoko want to talk about if she needed to take him this far from others? If she just wanted to fish for information about Julia, she could have done it in front of others. He had already told everyone about his fiancee, so it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. The same goes if she just wanted to hear how he was doing.

So he was sure that the reason for the distance was because she wanted to talk about the breakup. He started to be pretty sure that she was going to blame him for the breakup and his leaving without saying anything. Which would be stupid, because she would have had her chance and it was five years ago. It was a little bit late for that, and besides, since it was Ran’s decision and she got over him, he didn’t know why Sonoko would blame him.

But it was surprisingly nervous just to follow her, without knowing what she wanted to talk about. And even though he was over Ran, he wasn’t in the mood to go through that case all over again. He had done his share already, wasn’t it time to let it go once and for all?

Finally, Sonoko stopped and turned to look at him. Shinichi stopped in front of her and put his hands in his pockets, waiting. It was surprising how Sonoko hadn’t seemed to change at all over five years. Well, maybe she looked a little more mature and used more makeup, but still, she seemed to be the same one as back then.

She opened her mouth, then shut it. Then she took a deep breath and tried again, but let out a sigh. She looked frustrated.

“It’s been five years and you don’t have anything nice to say to me?” Shinichi asked and smiled. “I’m happy that some things never change.”

Sonoko glared at him for a moment. “Kind of wish you would have stayed where you were”, she said. Shinichi let out a laugh. If someone else had said that to him, he would have maybe felt a little bit bad, but since it was Sonoko…

“Well, now I am more than happy that I made that trip”, he said. “This made it worth it.”

“I’m happy to hear that”, she said before straightening herself. “Okay, I’ll go straight to the point, okay?”

“Fine by me”, Shinichi answered.

Sonoko closed her eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. Then she met his eyes. “Are you sure about your marriage?”

Well, that… he hadn’t waited. Yet, he kept his eyes on Sonoko’s. “I am”, he answered.

“Hundred percent sure?”

“Two hundred percent sure”, he answered.

Sonoko narrowed her eyes. “Like if you could marry anyone you ever want, she would be the one -sure?”

Shinichi let out a sigh and looked away. “You know, if you want to marry me, you could just ask, and I would answer no”, he said and looked at her again. “I’m sure I want to marry Julia, okay?”

“As sure as you were with Ran?”

Shinichi stared at Sonoko, who stared at him back. Why in the world she was worried about his marriage? It wasn’t a surprise that he couldn’t follow Sonoko’s thoughts, because to be honest, Sonoko had always been the kind of girl who didn’t act most of the time like Shinichi would predict. Even though Shinichi had known Sonoko as long as Ran, even though he knew Ran and could predict most of her actions or words, Sonoko was totally another thing. She always seemed to surprise Shinichi with her decisions, and they weren’t always good ones.

But this time he couldn’t even guess what she was after. Not at all.

“Listen”, he started finally. “I loved Ran, I really did, and of course, I thought that we would fix our problems and I would ask her to marry me and we would have got family together. But like you know, things didn’t work out. Things changed”, Shinichi said. “And we moved on…”

“First of all, she didn’t”, Sonoko interrupted.

“She did”, Shinichi objected. “She was the one who was happy and free after our breakup. She was the one who jumped to other relationships like I didn’t matter anymore.” He let out a sigh, trying to keep those memories away. “And I don’t say she did anything wrong, okay? She had thought about it, and she knew she wanted someone else. And I’m happy that she moved on.”

“But she is still single”, Sonoko said.

Shinichi shrugged. “And what could I do for it?”

“She is single because she hasn’t found anyone like you”, Sonoko explained, though, for Shinichi, it didn’t mean anything. “We both know that she could get anyone she ever wanted to. And I believe that the reason why she hasn’t found the one is because she still loves you and wants to be with you.”

He doubted it. “Has she said that herself?” Shinichi still asked.

Sonoko frowned. “No, of course not”, she answered. “But it’s clear.”

“It’s your speculation”, he said. “Who knows, maybe she just hasn’t found anyone who she would like…”

“Yeah, because she is searching for someone who is like you.”

Shinichi let out a laugh. “Nonsense.”

“Besides”, Sonoko continued, totally ignoring him. “The day, after you two met first time after five years, we met after that.”

“Ran said that much”, Shinichi admitted.

“And she was looking sad, she was in her own thoughts. And after I asked, she told me that she met you and that you had a fiancée.”

“Yes, because I introduced them…”

“No, that’s not the point”, Sonoko interrupted. “The point is that she was sad, bothered by it. Because she still loves you and waited that you would come back and you would give her a chance, but then you had fiancée and she was shocked and sad about it.”

He just stared at Sonoko, and he wasn’t sure what to feel. Well, he was sure that what Sonoko said, would explain some things. The day they met first time after five years, he remembered how Ran’s behavior had changed when Julia tried to introduce herself. The day they met in the cafe, he remembered how Ran’s mood had gone down a little bit when he mentioned that Julia wanted to meet her. And the day she and Julia had met, he remembered how Ran had seemed to be a little bit off…

But… It couldn’t be, right?

“Did she say so?” Shinichi asked again. Even though he knew the answer.

Sonoko let out a laugh. “Of course not, you know her”, she answered.

“So again, this is another your speculation”, Shinichi said, feeling a little bit frustrated. “Listen…”

“But you also know that she is a terrible liar”, Sonoko interrupted again. “Come on, if you would have been there, you could have read the same from her face and behavior! It clearly bothered her, and even though she didn’t admit it, it showed that she still loves you and was so disappointed that you have someone else who you are going to marry.”

Shinichi still kept his eyes on Sonoko’s determined eyes, trying to find any kind of clue why Sonoko was doing this, what she was after… Maybe a hint of a lie or… or… something. But she seemed to be sure and spoke the truth.

And it was true that Ran wasn’t a very good liar, but he still wondered… Could she still really love him? He wanted to believe that Ran would have said something, but at the same time, he had known Ran for years, and he also knew that Ran always thought other’s best. Part of him believed that if Ran really had feelings for him, she wouldn’t say anything, because he loved someone else.

Which was a little bit troubling, but…

But wouldn’t he have seen it himself if Ran would have had some feelings for him? Of course, there had been moments where he had seen that something had been wrong with her, but those had been only a few moments. Moments that had been gone, and he had been sure that he had just imagined them. That he was just thinking too much, or… or something.

Ran wouldn’t love him anymore. She made that decision and was sure about that. Nothing would change my mind, she had told him. So where in the world she would have got those feelings back? If she had still loved him, would she have moved on so easily?

But maybe it was Sonoko who hadn’t gotten over them. Sonoko had always been there for them, so maybe their breakup had been more shock to her than to them. And now that Shinichi was back in Tokyo and all, maybe Sonoko had seen some kind of chance and decided to fix things and get them back together like before.

Knowing Sonoko, that wouldn’t surprise him. But things didn’t work like that. She needed to understand that things were different now and even when she meant well, she needed to let go of them.

“You are imagining things, Sonoko”, Shinichi said finally and let out a sigh. “I know you supported us and I’m still grateful, but you know, things changed. And I’m the one who to blame.” He shrugged, trying to move his memories from the past away. This wasn’t the right time to go through them. “Besides, she was the one who started to date others. Believe me when I say: She moved on, okay?”

Sonoko inhaled, and Shinichi knew that it wasn’t a mark to give up. He opened his mouth to interrupt her before she could say anything else, but he wasn’t fast enough.

“And second, you didn’t move on either.”

Shinichi shut his mouth and surprised, stared at Sonoko. She looked at him so determined, so sure… “What are you talking about?” he asked finally and let out a laugh. “I did. I’m over her.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I am.”

“You still love her.”

Shinichi wanted to laugh it off and tell her that she was joking, but somehow he felt irritated and angry. For many reasons, on many levels.

“So”, he said finally. “You believed that I’m faking my love for Julia and going to marry her just for fun?” And even the thought made him boil. He couldn’t believe how Sonoko, from all the people he had known, dared even suggest something like that.

“I don’t say that you wouldn’t love this Julia-san”, Sonoko said, looking a little bit softer. “And to be honest, I don’t even know anything about you and her, but… Come on, if you really love her that much, why you haven’t talked anything about her? Tell anything more than how you met and how you are going to marry her?”

“What else there is to tell?” Shinichi asked frustrated. “No one has asked anything, and I don’t feel like I need to force anyone to listen about my life.”

“But anyone else seemed to be so excited about their own marriage.”

Yeah, Shinichi didn’t deny it, but… “I haven’t met these people in many years”, he claimed. “I don’t expect anyone to be interested anymore in what I am doing or where…”

Sonoko shook her head. “That doesn’t explain anything.”

And I don’t even wait for you to understand, Shinichi wanted to say. He had seen how silent everyone was when he told about his marriage. And he didn’t blame them, because their classmates had believed that he would end up with Ran. And he didn’t want to make a show about it. It was okay and he just wanted to have fun with others like in the old days, not to answer questions about what happened to him and Ran or that people would ask too much about it from Ran. Of course, he wasn’t sure if they had asked about it when he hadn’t been around, but no one had brought it up with him, so he wanted to believe that others understood that something had happened and that’s it.

Of course, he wouldn’t mind telling others what happened, but he preferred to have fun, instead of remembering something that hurt and made him feel sad, regret some things…

“This reunion isn’t about me, okay”, Shinichi said finally, when Sonoko didn’t give up. “We are here together, having fun, right? I’m not here to talk about myself and my fiancée.”

Sonoko hummed and looked like she wasn’t impressed. “Fine then”, she said. “Then explain to me why are you still looking after Ran?”

Shinichi just stared at her. Has he? He hadn’t, and he was sure of it. He hadn’t done anything special towards Ran. Yes, when they met first time, they had hugged. But he didn’t think it to be anything weird: They were still childhood friends, they had gone through so much. After five years, it was only natural, right? Yes, he bought Ran a piece of cake, but there wasn’t any meaning behind it. He had just wanted to be nice and offer something to her because she still was too polite to take anything. And there wasn’t anything special to introduce Julia and Ran to each other. They had wanted it.

There was nothing.

“I’m not looking after her”, Shinichi denied. “I haven’t done anything like that to her. Not today, not days before.”

“You stared at her.”

“I don’t”, Shinichi said.

“You do”, Sonoko insisted. “Hah, and don’t try to deny it! I have seen how every time you look around, you just stop to stare at Ran!”

But he hadn’t! He has just looked around like anyone else has probably done too! Yeah, he knew he had looked at Ran, how she had smiled and laughed with others, but he was pretty sure that he hadn’t stared at her any longer than anyone else.

“I have looked at others too”, Shinichi denied again. “Now you are just imagining things.”

“And why did you get so angry when Iwata-kun asked her out?”

“I wasn’t angry”, he said. “Ran just deserved so much better and we both probably agree with that.”

Sonoko nodded. “Well, true that”, she admitted before her face changed determined again. “But you looked so angry…”

“I didn’t”, Shinichi interrupted.

“And I saw how your hands clenched.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“But it bothers you, more than you think”, she continued.

“It doesn’t”, he hissed. He started to get enough of this.

Sonoko sighed. “Come on, Kudo! If you only would see how you look at her…”

“I’m not!”

And Shinichi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Yeah, he had shouted that, much louder than he had thought, but Sonoko was breaking limits. He didn’t remember that Sonoko would have ever succeeded in getting on his nerves like that. But now? She was gone too far, even for him.

“Okay, listen”, he continued when he felt a little bit calmer and opened his eyes to meet hers. “I know you mean well, I really do, but believe me when I say: Ran made her mind long ago. I got over her, and found Julia and fell in love with her”, he said. “So please, don’t interrupt with things that you don’t know.”

“And believe me, I’m not trying to break or destroy anything, okay”, Sonoko said more gently. “I have always wanted the best for both of you. And if you are happy with Julia-san, then I can live with that. But I don’t want you to do anything that you would regret later.”

“Sonoko…”

“If you would only see how you look at her, you would understand…”

“Hey, what's up you two?”

Shinichi felt how something tightened in his heart, but he didn’t move his eyes from Sonoko. It was like she tried to tell him with that one more glance to think about it until she moved her eyes away. Only then did he glance at Ran, who had come closer with her kind smile.

And suddenly he just had the urge to leave. Just… go back to the hotel, sleep, and tomorrow, fly back to America, and continue with his life like before, far from all these people.

“Nothing”, Sonoko answered and offered him a smile before turning back to Ran. “Just wanted to hear myself how our detective geek is doing.”

Ran let out a laugh. “Well, it’s been so long since we have been together like this”, she said. “Just three of us.”

Shinichi turned his head away and closed his eyes for a moment. He felt somehow so angry and frustrated and… and… to be honest, he felt like all his emotions were running so wild. Why in the world did others need to intervene in his life, his decision? Like he didn’t know what he wanted or how he felt? Why everyone needed to…

“Shinichi, are you okay?”

Shinichi felt how something touched his arm. Fast he glanced at Ran who looked at him worriedly.

Fine. That’s what he needed with all the other things.

“Everything is okay”, he answered even when he felt like anyone could have heard how it wasn’t more than a big lie. “Just didn’t remember how tiring it is to spend time with her”, he continued and nodded toward Sonoko.

“Just saying, you are more dryer companion than anyone else in this room”, Sonoko answered. “And most stubborn too, probably.”

Shinichi showed her a toxic glance before turning and going back with the others. He really needed something else to think about right now.

Chapter 5

[moonshine-nightlight]

Hello! I Just wanted to let you know that I LOVED the published ver. of "Don't Shoot the Messenger". And I was so excited to hear that Dale and Sana's story might get published too.

At first I was really unsure about getting the book, as I didn't want to be disappointed if the changes made didn't translate well compared to the original. BUT YOU KNOCKED MY EXPECTATIONS RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER!! IT WAS SO GOOD!!

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm so excited for your future projects. And I wish you luck on your future publishing endeavours because I will be buying all future published books by you. And no one can stop me haha >:D

I also wanted to ask if there's a chance that any of your other previous works will also be published? Of course it's a huge effort of time and resources to publish something. But I do hold out hope that I might one day hold Heshi's story in my hands because truthfully it's such a comfort to me and I go back to it periodically to reread. I love that snakey boi. NO PRESSURE THO. If that's not in the cards, just the fact that it exists as a story is wonderful. Thank you so much for all the writing you do.

anyway, bye

@annjo-wolfe

hi! thanks so much! i really liked what DSM actually was and focused on my own edits and that of my editors just honing it to be the best version of itself - so i'm glad that came through and you liked it!

if ur interested in too much info about my self-publishing plans, pls see under the read more

Dale and Sana's story definitely will be self-published,its just a matter of when. it's also probably gonna get more tweaks than DSM due to the length and the way the story evolved over 2 years lol

thank you so much for your support and encouragement with publishing! i'm so happy people are excited about actually buying my stories lol

As for previous short stories that getting published, the answer is yes, i do have plans to publish them as well, they're just a lower priority for multiple reasons. firstly, me and everyone wants NWWD the most so its #1.

For 'Finally Woken' i actually already have the first 2 chapters converted to 3rd POV, however, its shorter than DSM and so would cost nearly as much to have edited but would sell for less (and amazon will try to tell me the spine is too narrow lol) so my current thoughts are to bundle it with 'Selfish' (helpfully already in 3rd person) and make a Naga Novella (called like 'Tangled Up in Tails' or something lol) with both of them in it so i can release it priced similarly to DSM.

For 'Sacrifice', i actually have plans to make that a 5 novella series about different forgotten deities returning to the same town, with 'Sacrifice' likely being offered as a cheaper, first book about a month or so before the second is published to get people into the series. the rest of the novellas would likely not go up on tumblr/AO3 at all and would only be published. i'd like to use this hypothetical series to see how that sort of model would work for me. i've planned out the 5 novellas to some extent but nothings really written yet besides 'Sacrifice'. as a complete project, its very low on my list after everything i'll b posting here and NWWD publishing, so since 'Sacrifice' is tied to that, its not likely to get published anytime soon.

For 'Snapped', i'd likely do something similar to 'Finally Woken' - write another short Sci-Fi/Alien story and bundle them together for publishing. However, i dont currently have anything written that would work so that's also a low priority evn if 'Snapped' is already 3rd POV.

I'm really excited to self-publish my work, but its expensive and what I've made from DSM has come nowhere close to covering my costs and likely won't. the only good thing is basically all the costs are up-front so its easy to jsut keep the books out there and making money when ppl buy it. i have a good job and am happy to spend my money to get my work out there and hope over time self-publishing will break-even, but that will take years at a minimum so it'll be slow going in the beginning.

my goal is to get everything self-published so it'll just be a matter of time - i too want to hold a copy of Heshi's story in my hands lol

thank you for all your support and giving me a chance to ramble about all my self-publishing plans!

[kaygee-doodles]

Just feeding my local author here!

I have reread your Gloom and Doom fic no less than 7 times

I have a sudden urge to see if nightmares goop is flammable now because of you after what he did to dust lol

I have literally fallen asleep reading your fics and got woken up by my heavy ass phone smacking me in the face

I have downloaded a pdf file of your whole story just so I can read it offline when I don't have wifi on my phone

I desperately wanna nap with dust on top of axe/horror while watching shitty TV shows (or true crime documentaries that's always fun!)

I also now wish to know what the readers favorite sushi equivalent would be irl

I need a Snickers...

Oh right! And while Dust has always been my favorite bad sans you have only deepened my obsession with him lol

10/10 would probably make him my go to skeleton out of all the boys in the castle for some company

I now have the inexplicable urge to make pillow forts of my own every time I dare read an Undertale au fanfic and I entirely blame you

I now have issues sleeping without making my 'Ilxina Nest' of snacks and bad TV while intermittently checking to see if you updated (not rushing you I am just paranoid that I'm going to miss a chapter and be the last to know about it lol)

I have officially adopted the name 'naptime' as the 'nickname' for reader because honestly... Dude fucking same man 😩

I used to raise chickens and mine were the sweetest things (all incubated and hand raised) and I literally could walk into their nesting boxes and take eggs right out of them without them having a care in the world and your little bit of having reader help gather eggs sparked this memory (I gathered eggs in the evening since they laid throughout the day... And it was always hot in the summer lol)

I feel like killer is plotting to do something something to reader and I refuse to be told otherwise... Shenanigans and dusts murderous rage is bound to make an appearance at some point lol

Lol hope you have a good day/night, stay hydrated, and get plenty of sleep (we all know that last one is a hope in vain since you're an author but still lol) 🫀

I am nourished and fed and writing the next chapter.

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

A Cup of Tea and Paracetamol pt 4/4

The final installment is done! Phew, thanks for sticking with me, I know this was a long story and idk how people feel about that. This last part is pretty much just sneeze p0rn lmao, so I hope you guys like it. Let me know if there are any scenarios/story ideas you’d like to see with these two next, because I don’t have any WIPs currently!

A prewarning, this is of course not beta’d or reread because I am a full dunce and I shit out snz and then run away. 

Love you all, enjoy

“Listen,” Elijah rasped the next morning, as he and Greyson waited for their cab to approach the hotel, “I’m gonna need you to pull it together.”

“Lij, I – HGDSTHH-oo! Hnn-NGSTSH-uhh! Huh…”

“See, this is what I’m talking -”

“HUHHHESTCHH-ue!”

“-about.” Elijah coughed into his elbow, while Greyson fished a paper-thin hotel tissue out of his pocket and blew his nose. They made quite the pair, really. Greyson grimaced and tossed the tissue into a waiting trashcan before turning to his boss and clearing his throat.

“Lij,” Greyson said, his voice sticky and congested. “I dond’t thindk I’mb gonna mbake it.” He swallowed back a cough as the cab rolled up to the valet. “Whend I’mb gone, tell mby staff I loved – HRFFSHH! GTSHH-ue! HRSSHHH-oo! God-fucking-dammit.”

“Remember when I said pull it together?” Elijah asked, his voice once again cutting out completely. He yanked the cab door open, pulled a mask out of his back pocket, and mouthed “Pull. It. Together.”

Greyson sucked in through his nose futilely, then cleared his throat again as he pulled up his own mask and lowered himself into the car next to his boss. “Hi there,” he said, actively avoiding any m’s or n’s. “Airport, please.”

The driver grunted in understanding and set off through the early-morning traffic. Greyson gave Elijah a thumbs up as if to say Pulled it together pretty well, huh? Elijah rolled his eyes in response and collapsed over his own lap to cough as quietly as he could.

“Need some water?” the driver asked, producing a small bottle from a chest on the passenger’s seat. Elijah shook his head in Greyson’s direction.

“He’s good.” Greyson said, rubbing his nose behind the mask. He wondered silently how much longer the ride was going to be; it had felt like a short drive on the way in, but that may have had something to do with the fact that he didn’t have the constant feeling of needing to sneeze on the way in.

Sometime between the end of the event yesterday afternoon and when he’d gone to bed around midnight, Greyson’s body had suddenly decided that it was going to cut the bullshit and start sneezing like it was his job. Greyson assumed it had been sometime after his fourth drink; that’s when things started getting hazy, anyway. He’d woken up this morning with sinuses packed, a throbbing head, and a note on his arm that read, Call me when that cold’s cleared up -Alex with what he assumed was a London phone number scrawled beneath it. Alex’s face, location, and gender were, at this point, a toss-up.

“Huhh…” Greyson’s breath hitched audibly then, and Elijah sat up suddenly and shook his head. Greyson understood his meaning; between their matching pallor and Elijah’s coughing, he was sure they were already on thin ice with this driver. No need to cause a scene and get them kicked out of the cab. Greyson pawed at his nose again and held his breath – to no avail.

“HXTSH-uhh!” Greyson attempted to hold the sneeze back, but his body clearly had other plans. He gave Elijah a watery, apologetic look before collapsing into a fit of sneezes, directed into his elbow. “HFSHH-uh! Huh...hehh...HGSTHH-ue! HRSSHH! NGTSHH! HUHESSTCHOO! Fuck mbe,” Greyson grumbled into his elbow.

“Is everything alright back there?” the driver asked, tentatively. Elijah cleared his throat as best he could to take over the speaking role.

“We’re okay,” he managed, his voice barely above a whisper. “Just a cold.”

“Hell of a cold,” the driver grumbled, pulling up to the airport gate. “Need help with your things?”

“We’re okay,” Greyson said, throwing the door open the moment the car came to a stop. “Thangks.” He handed the driver a wad of cash – far more than they owed, to make up for the disinfecting this guy was going to have to do – and dragged Elijah out of the car. They quickly collected their bags from the trunk and made their way into the airport.

“Did I or did I not tell you to pull it together?” Elijah asked, voice cracking. Greyson gave his boss the dirtiest look he could muster while they got in line for their boarding passes.

“That was mbe pulling it together,” he said, sniffling behind the mask. “Trust mbe, you dond’t wandt to see mbe letting loose.”

They made it through ticketing and security with little incident, and once they found their gate, Greyson declared, “Great, it exists. Let’s go get drungk.”

The two ill men plopped themselves down at a corner table in the darkest airport bar they could find. Once drinks were ordered, they ripped off their masks and stared at one another, dead-eyed. Elijah was the first to break the silence.

“Huh-GTSHH-ue!” he sneezed into his elbow, which propelled him into a fit of coughing. Greyson sucked in through his nose, and let out an irritated cough in sympathy.

“Is that what I have to look forward to ndext?” he asked, nodding at the server when a beer was placed in front of him. Elijah rolled his eyes and shot his whiskey before giving Greyson the middle finger.

“Yeah, enjoy,” he rasped, pulling a hand down his face in misery. Greyson chuckled darkly and sucked down the beer in a few gulps, then raised a hand toward the bar to get the server’s attention.

“Keep ’emb combing,” he called out.

“Alcohol’s only going to make it worse,” Elijah rasped. Greyson laughed in earnest this time.

“You think it could get worse?” he asked, and Elijah returned the laugh.

“Fair enough,” he said. He quietly thanked the server who brought their second round, and lifted his rocks glass. “You know what would really hit the spot right now?”

“A lobotomy?” Greyson guessed.

“Some nyquil.”

Greyson nearly moaned at the thought of it. “Dond’t even say its precious name,” he said, sucking down the second beer. He placed the half-empty glass back down on the table when his breath began to hitch once again. “HGSTHH-uhhh. NGXTSHH-nn! HXTSHH! HTSH!”

“Will you just sneeze like a normal person and get it over with?” Elijah asked, downing the remainder of his drink. “Holding them in just makes it worse.”

“You’re such an expert ind how I’mb mbaking it worse, and yet you dond’t seem to be doing mbuch better thand mbe,” Greyson said, blowing his nose quietly. “So I don’t think I’ll be taking my advice from you, thangks.”

Elijah shrugged. “Fair enough,” he whispered, turning to signal for the check.

“Hey, I wandted another,” Greyson said, coughing into his sleeve. Elijah raised an eyebrow.

“I think you’re good,” he said pointedly. Greyson grumbled while Elijah produced a credit card and signed the check. “I’ll make it up to you,” he told the chef, pushing his chair backand gathering their things.

“Mmmb, how’re you gonna do that?” Greyson asked, pressing his palm into an aching eyeball. Elijah shrugged.

“I was thinking maybe a cup of tea?” he said, attempting a British accent with his mangled voice. “Perhaps a paracetamol?”

Greyson couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, fuck off, Lij.” Elijah laughed, too.

“Let’s get this flight over with,” Elijah whispered. “And, Grey?”

“Y – HFSHHH-uhh! Fuggck. Snf. Yeah?” Greyson asked, his eyes watering. Elijah attempted a smile.

“Let’s go ahead and keep the restaurant closed this weekend.”

Greyson coughed out a laugh. “Ndow,” he said, “you’re speaking my language.”

[marta-bee]

I've been fixating a bit (okay, more than a bit) on Agnes Nutter, to the point it's keeping me from pressing on with my reread. I'm just ... sitting here thinking about her, and reveling in the delicious parallels going on with her and Crowley. Or rather, with what I thought was a parallel, and is actually a pretty big difference, but is no less interesting for that fact.

Per usual, let's start with the text. Also per usual, it's a bit long and worth sharing in its entirety if only because the wry sense of humor makes me smile, so under the readmore it goes.

The English, by and large, being a crass and indolent race, were not as keen on burning women as other countries in Europe. In Germany the bonfires were built and burned with regular Teutonic thoroughness. Even the pious Scots, locked throughout history in a long-drawn-out battle with their arch-enemies the Scots, managed a few burnings to while away the long winter evenings. But the English never seemed to have the heart for it. One reason for this may have to do with the manner of Agnes Nutter's death, which more or less marked the end of the serious witchhunting craze in England. A howling mob, reduced to utter fury by her habit of going around being intelligent and curing people, arrived at her house one April evening to find her sitting with her coat on, waiting for them. "Ye're tardie," she said to them. "I shoulde have beene aflame ten minutes since." Then she got up and hobbled slowly through the suddenly silent crowd, out of the cottage, and to the bonfire that had been hastily thrown together on the village green. Legend says that she climbed awkwardly onto the pyre and thrust her arms around the stake behind her. "Tye yt well," she said to the astonished witchfinder. And then, as the villagers sidled toward the pyre, she raised her handsome head in the firelight and said, "Gather ye ryte close, goode people. Come close untyl the fire near scorch ye, for I charge ye that alle must see how thee last true wytch in England dies. For wytch I am, for soe I am judged, yette I knoe not what my true Cryme may be. And therefore let myne deathe be a messuage to the worlde. Gather ye ryte close, I saye, and marke well the fate of alle who meddle with suche as theye do none understande." And, apparently, she smiled and looked up at the sky over the village and added, "That goes for you as welle, yowe daft old foole." And after that strange blasphemy she said no more. She let them gag her, and stood imperiously as the torches were put to the dry wood. The crowd grew nearer, one or two of its members a little uncertain as to whether they'd done the right thing, now they came to think about it. Thirty seconds later an explosion took out the village green, scythed the valley clean of every living thing, and was seen as far away as Halifax. There was much subsequent debate as to whether this had been sent by God or by Satan, but a note later found in Agnes Nutter's cottage indicated that any divine or devilish intervention had been materially helped by the contents of Agnes's petticoats, wherein she had with some foresight concealed eighty pounds of gunpowder and forty pounds of roofing nails. What Agnes also left behind, on the kitchen table beside a note cancelling the milk, was a box and a book. There were specific instructions as to what should be done with the box, and equally specific instructions about what should be done with the book; it was to be sent to Agnes's son, John Device. The people who found it-who were from the next village, and had been woken up by the explosion-considered ignoring the instructions and just burning the cottage, and then looked around at the twinkling fires and nail-studded wreckage and decided not to. Besides, Agnes's note included painfully precise predictions about what would happen to people who did not carry out her orders. The man who put the torch to Agnes Nutter was a Witchfinder Major. They found his hat in a tree two miles away.

I mentioned before how fascinated I was by Agnes just accepting the witchy label: "For wytch I am, for soe I am judged, yette I knoe not what my true Cryme may be." Anathema seems more like a witch in a more real sense; Agnes is someone who just somehow knows things and tries to use that to help her neighbors. And its not beyond the pale she would have known about what caused disease and helped her neighbors live more healthy lives. (A sort of proto-germ theory was written about in European medical circles by at least the 1300s, and in the Islamic world before that; though it wasn't mainstream science and certainly not well-known outside more academic circles.) How someone with Agnes's background would have learned about it is a much bigger stretch. And yes, it's absolutely plausible that her knowing that stuff and it actually working would seem like witchcraft to her neighbors. But if she was well-read, independently minded, or just stumbled on the right book somehow, certainly not impossible she could have known.

Of course, Good Omens isn't historical fiction, and I suspect Agnes knows because the plot demands it. ""A howling mob, reduced to utter fury by her habit of going around being intelligent"? Especially when the her is, well, a her? Sadly, that's hardly beyond the pale either, historically speaking.

What's fascinating is Agnes seems to blame the people around her, or at least hold them responsible, for not knowing things I really don't see why they should have known. Germ theory is one thing. It's a stretch that a bunch of 16th-century (or whenever exactly this is) provincials would be up on Ibn Sina's or Fracastoro's theories, and the real problem is them giving in to fear at their lack of control when she knows something they didn't. Couldn't have known, even, at least not practically.

That's even more the case with her death. I'm not saying it's not justified: they're trying to kill her, completely unjustifiably. But she doesn't say she's killing them in revenge for killing her, or in self-defense; rather: "Gather ye ryte close, I saye, and marke well the fate of alle who meddle with suche as theye do none understande." They're dead because they didn't understand what they were working with?

Which, to be clear, was not a vengeful God or Satan, but a woman who'd "with some foresight concealed eighty pounds of gunpowder and forty pounds of roofing nails" in her petticoats. And I suppose, yes, if someone had checked her garments for combustibles it's the kind of thing they could have found and a veteran of some sort could have recognized the danger there. But who would really think to look? Again: it's knowable in a technical sense. The knowledge is out there. But practically speaking, do we really hold them accountable for that.

Which brings me to Crowley. When I started this I was remembering some exchanges from the show about Crowley's driving, specifically:

Aziraphale: So we only have to find the birth records. Go through the hospital files. Crowley: And then what? A: And then we find the child. C: And then what? A: Watch out for that pedestrian. C: She's on the street. She knows the risk she's taking. A: Just watch the-- watch the road. Wh - where is this hospital, anyway? C: A village near Oxford, Tadfield. A: Crowley, you can't do 90 miles per hour in Central London. C: Why not? A: You'll get us killed. Well, inconveniently discorporated. (pause) Music. Why don't I put on a little... music?

Which isn't actually quite the way it happens in the book.

"I suppose - get off the road you clown - your people wouldn't consider--and the scooter you rode in on!-giving me asylum?" "I was going to ask you the same thing - Watch out for that pedestrian!" "It's on the street, it knows the risks it's taking!" said Crowley, easing the accelerating car between a parked car and a taxi and leaving a space which would have barely accepted even the best credit card. "Watch the road! Watch the road! Where is this hospital, anyway?" "Somewhere south of Oxford!" Aziraphale grabbed the dashboard. "You can't do ninety miles an hour in Central London!" Crowley peered at the dial. "Why not?" he said. "You'll get us killed!" Aziraphale hesitated. "Inconveniently discorporated," he corrected, lamely, relaxing a little. "Anyway, you might kill other people." Crowley shrugged. The angel had never really come to grips with the twentieth century, and didn't realize that it is perfectly possible to do ninety miles an hour down Oxford Street. You just arranged matters so that no one was in the way. And since everyone knew that it was impossible to do ninety miles an hour down Oxford Street, no one noticed.

So Crowley's not actually saying if he plows over a pedestrian speeding through London it's the pedestrian's fault in the books, though the show's dialogue can fairly be read that way. He knows he can miracle things so no one gets hurt, meaning there's nothing really to worry about. He's stressed over the whole missing antichrist thing, he's driven to distraction, and he indulges in a little bit of road rage as a treat.

But he's not really saying it would be the pedestrian's fault. Because while it's technically possible someone would be speeding through London and pedestrians should be aware of it, practically? Well, I've spent the last decade as a non-driver in another major cities. And on inner-city streets? You just don't expect cars to come barrelling down on you at those speeds. Because pedestrians are common and there's too much traffic for cars to go at those speeds. Technically it's a possibility you could get hit by a car speeding through (it happens), but it's not like you'd be negligent to think any car on the street would come slow enough you could see it and react.

Crowley seems to agree, and is only so lax about his criticism ("They know the risks!") because he also knows he can manage things so it just will never happen. But I doubt Agnes would be so generous.

I think that's what's so frustrating and fascinating to me about Agnes, in equal measure. She just sort of knows by fate or divine writ or whatever; and she holds everyone else to the same standard. If they'd searched her they could have known she'd essentially strapped herself with a bomb and shrapnel, so if they want to go and get themselves blown up that's their affair. Never mind that no one would think to search her. It's a fact, it's out there to be known, and that's enough.

Whereas Crowley at least is willing to introduce a bit of understanding into his thinking, and understands that just because something is technically discoverable doesn't mean everyone actually has the wherewithal to do said discovering. It reminds me of that conversation about free will I discussed a while back:

Aziraphale had tried to explain it to him once. The whole point, he'd said-this was somewhere around 1020, when they'd first reached their little Arrangement-the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be. Whereas people like Crowley and, of course, himself, were set in their ways right from the start. People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked. Crowley had thought about this for some time and, around about 1023, had said, Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, okay? You can't start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a -castle. Ah, Aziraphale had said, that's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. Crowley had said, That's lunatic. No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

I guess --for me at least-- it makes Agnes's foresight seem a bit like God's omniscience. It makes sense but also isn't a compliment. Objectivity can be blinding in its way, and while Agnes may know, I don't think it can be truthfully said that she's doing much seeing here.

[trephacard]

ONLY READ THIS AFTER YOU WATCHED ALL SEASON 1 OF NOCTURNE!!!!!

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I am SO normal about the ending of Nocturne season 1 (lies). 😀 AAAAAAAAAAAaaAaAaAaaa

*Insert that quote with "Tress will still grow, birds will still sing, but you won't be here and you won't be here" that another post reminded me of.*

Okay, so theory time now!! I choose to believe the character redesign they made for Alucard was way more deliberate than the simple surface level "Let's make him look even closer to his SOTN game counterpart!". Don't get me wrong, I actually love both of his series designs, which is why I have to look into the second one with minutious detail now, sorry.

So my theory is: Since Alucard is half vampire and vampires need blood to live => Alucard would require blood. The question is, in what capacity not drinking blood affects him? I don't think it kills him, since it can't, but I believe it keeps him from fully thriving. After all, when we saw him in the original series, he had just woken up from a year long slumber in which blood was pumped into him, probably for healing or maintenance purposes (or both!). So it'd be safe to assume that blood has him thriving.

The reason why not consuming blood didn't really affect him in the OG series? See above reason, I think he was still burning thru that boost he already accumulated in that one year.

So, because he made a deliberate choice to put the human part of himself first due to Lisa's influence (aside for the moment when he got traumatized and went full Dracula-Trevor hybrid bad coping mechanisms), he probably didn't wish to go back to drinking blood after the epilogue of Castlevania, maybe aside from consenting situations, wink wink, nudge nudge. Definitely do not imagine Sypha and Trevor having to watch as life drained from his features the same way Alucard was watching life drain from their bodies thru aging <3!

Fast forward 300 years, the man wakes up white as a sheet because the blood was the thing that, ironically enough, kept his appearence more human. Do I think the deaths of beloved Sypha and Trevor (and Greta) also had an impact on him and his recent looks? Absolutely!

There was also that theory on tumblr about his hair turning an off-white because his physical body "aged" in an unusual way and now he outlived his human side with a lot of years, which is why more Dracula like features emerged.

TL;DR: Alucard is probably old, depressed and hasn't had a proper vampire drink in 300 years, which is why he's white as fuck.

Honestly would be very cool if he started drinking vampire blood in season 2, JUST SAYING. Nocturne writers, I'm watching u, I know u can find a reason for this to happen. Some bonkers dhampir privileges.

omg okay I just got to this and I had to reread this. was it stated that alucard specifically needed blood for sustenance?

you know this theory is actually really interesting because his lack of coloring has to be intentional right? he’ll never age beyond how he is now but he somehow looks older and younger at the want time.

that’s interesting though!

[bunny584]

Out of curiosity, what's your writing style? Do you plot everything out from the start? Go with the flow? Write ahead then go back and fix stuff in previous chapters? Mine is like...60% just writing random ideas down to toss somewhere into a story, 10% filling in the gaps between said ideas, and 30% going with the flow (these numbers have been pulled from my ass and are completely arbitrary) I refuse to talk about how I am my own beta reader and proof read 100 times over and still make fuck ups I don't like to post fics while I'm still writing them because I have ADHD and could potentially drop a fic in the middle of it, and I don't wanna subject any potential readers to the disappointment of a dead fic ;-;

Ooo I love this question my love. We are kindred spirits. 🩷

My writing style is manic. Utterly insane. For a full length story I have a barebones skeleton of characters, major events. Never have an ending planned out because I think conclusions naturally reveal themselves.

Like you, I do the feverish scribbling of ideas. This all goes into the notes app on my phone. And at all hours of the day/night. Legit have woken up at 3 am to write an idea down. My out-of-ass percentage is also 60.

The rest is purely raw dogging the shit of the story 😅 I’ll write around phrases/metaphors/statements I want to include and then hope for the best.

It’s humiliating how many times I reread over my stuff and still find a way to include typos. I just hope y’all glaze over it. I’ll pick it up eventually.

Then after birthing a chaotic prose baby I’m happy with. I’ll publish it then not look at it for like a week. I’m so dramatic. I blame being a Pisces for this trait.

Can also relate to dropping fics like hot potatoes. But for me, it’s usually when I’m uninspired. Like the process is no longer romantic and full of feelings and tortured etc etc etc. I can’t stand writing when I’m bored, you know?

Ugh, sorry for the length. You got me on a soap box

Besos, my love 🩵

[reinedescauchemars]

the college experience, so far:

made a title ix complaint because of a presentation that it was mandatory for me to attend that allowed mockery of gender identities, including my gender identity

would have made a larger complaint about how that presentation also allowed mockery of socioeconomic backgrounds and sexual orientations but i only felt like i had enough proof for for harassment based on gender identity

reread a survey consent form to make sure that i didn't accidentally consent to my responses being shared verbatim, as that is what had happened during the presentation

had to explain to the student life office for the housing i live in that i moved in four times

found out the resource center specifically for queer students is only open four hours a day and discovered that those times do not work well for me

had to re-enroll in a new section of one of my classes because they opened up too many seats in the previous sections and decided to drop everyone and then make us all re-enroll literally three days before classes start

tried wearing press-on nails because i didn't have enough time in one go to paint my nails but they popped off when i helped a friend assemble some furniture

discovered my go-to dining hall food from my go-to dining hall got taken off the menu (also it was the only vegetarian option for that dish and i don't like eating the meats that dish normally includes)

spent a ridiculous amount of money to buy a physical copy of one (1) textbook because my parents didn't want me to just pirate it even though i told them my professor said, in the vaguest of terms so as to not cause legal trouble, to just pirate the textbook

have been mostly surviving by skipping meals and free food because i'm not a morning person and there is so much free food as part of welcome events

got woken up by garbage trucks and loud cars every single morning because i live above a major road

bled out of an orifice i shouldn't bleed out of, which was probably due to a health condition i likely have but am ignoring because i don't even have the time to deal with my one diagnosed chronic health condition

had a major pain flare because of a vaccine reaction, but i guess i'm glad i'm vaccinated against the flu and covid, even if it put me through hell

tentatively agreed to go to rush week to rush for sororities even though i am not interested in greek life

almost got hit by a car, because drivers here apparently think it's a good idea to start going through an intersection as people are crossing at the sidewalk right in front of them

stopped feeling emotions the way i used to, which is kind of disturbing but i'm going to assume it's fine

the sports team with a pride flag at their table tried to recruit me, which means i either looked gay to them, they're desperate for new players, or both

got offered lactaid at a pizza lunch and didn't take it even though i know i'm lactose intolerant because i didn't have the energy to care

received a beanie with the name of the department my major is in on it because i was able to remember the name of a program that was mentioned in a presentation (it is also rather warm where my university is and it is permanently the wrong season for wearing a beanie)

found out how many ambulances are in the city across the border from us and somehow remembered this information even though it has no relevancy to me

ended up sitting still on a towel on the shower room floor for so long that the motion-activated light turned off

but y'know what? this is still fucking better than high school

[verfound]

Dingo files... tie me up

🤣🤣🤣 Did you actually remember this one or did you just get lucky? Bc I'm pretty sure I only half remembered it. 😂

It actually ties into another DF, "Who's Mary?" That one is set before Dingo meets Marinette. Dingo spends the night on the boat when Luka has an explicit dream about Marinette. Luka may have said some things in his sleep, so the next day Dingo's giving him shit about Mary, the name Luka had been moaning in his sleep (Mari).

"Tie Me Up" goes into detail about that dream. Rereading what I have here, I'm not sure how much I actually like it. I still like the concept/set up, but this is probably gonna get scrapped/rewritten before y'all see the finished bit. 🤔

Luka didn’t usually dream about Ladybug.

Even having realized a long time ago who was under the spotted mask, Ladybug wasn’t usually the pigtailed, blue-eyed beauty playing the starring role in his dreams.  Especially his more…intimate dreams.  But as the two girls in question were in fact the same girl, it wasn’t completely unheard of.  It was just…not as common.

Luka wasn’t in love with Ladybug, after all.  He thought she was amazing and incredibly brave, sure, but if he loved Ladybug it was only because he had loved Marinette first, so Marinette was the one who usually showed up in some compromising state of dress or compromising position or…and that’s the way he preferred it.

But when Ladybug had been blasted by Heart’s Desire, an akuma who had received some bad advice from a tabloid column and was encouraging everyone she hit to go after what they truly desired, and had turned to Viperion, looking at him like he was her favorite snack and she couldn’t wait to devour him…well, Viperion had done what any sensible eighteen-year-old boy would do when confronted with his longtime crush turning on him like that.

He turned tail and ran.

And if Ladybug had shot her yoyo at him, tying him up and sending him tumbling to the ground before she’d pounced on him…well, he couldn’t be blamed if it had given his subconscious mind an entirely new avenue of fantasy fodder to explore.

…even if Marinette didn’t remember any of it.  Even if she couldn’t be held accountable for any of it, as everything she had done had been under the akuma’s influence.  Even if the akuma had been telling her to chase after her heart’s desire.

He hadn’t realized that was him.  As perceptive as he was, he had thought her sights were still set on blonde hair and green eyes and…but the akuma had set Ladybug after who she truly longed for, and Ladybug hadn’t tied up Adrien Agreste.

So when he’d gone to sleep that night and had a perfectly innocent dream of standing under the stars above deck, Claire slung over his neck and noodling the song he hadn’t been able to get out of his head since the first time beautiful blue eyes had stared at him in horror…it hadn’t really surprised him when a zipping whirr rang out above the chords.  It hadn’t really surprised him when Ladybug had landed on the deck not five paces away from where he was leaning against the rail, and it hadn’t surprised him when she’d stalked towards him, her yoyo still swinging by her side.

“I am going to tie you up, Luka Couffaine,” she’d purred, and Claire had disappeared in that way things do in dreams when Ladybug reached him, her fingers dancing up his chest.  His throat had bobbed as he swallowed, her eyes sinfully dark as she smiled up at him.  When her fingers had reached his shoulder, they’d slid up along his neck and into his hair, tugging his head down to crash their mouths together.  He was panting heavily when she finally pulled back, her teeth catching his lower lip to bite on her retreat.  “We were interrupted earlier.  I didn’t like that.”

His alarm had woken him up entirely too soon, and he had been painfully hard upon waking.  If he had rushed to the bathroom a little quicker than usual that morning, Juleka hadn’t said anything.

[allycryz]

Amh ... I couldn't resist.

This is the Thancred/Nerys get back together fic. Going in I thought the bulk of the story would happen in Amh Araeng but it's actually occurring all through the expac

It's been a bit of a struggle--because I want to acknowledge the ups and downs of Thancred grappling with grief without just rereading ground. More and more I am releasing myself from following what happens too closely.

Here is a little excerpt, a moment of calm before a storm where Thancred and Nerys are sleeping in the infirmary and Haurchefant is watching over them

His hands curl in her hair. His voice is a caress. “...You’ll wake up, sweetheart. I promise.”

She sleeps depending on that promise. Dreams of unspeakable things, dreams of nothing at all, dreams of loss, of a city burning around her, of fire and smoke climbing to the heavens, a mask shattered on the ground, of abstract colors and shapes and endless, awful, searing white light.

A warm body against her. Arms hard to move. Backs of fingers against her cheek. A soft voice.

“Dear heart.”

Haurche sits in a chair at her bedside. Thancred curls into himself on her other side.

Nerys tries to move before she recognizes the heavy white coat wrapped around her like a swaddling cloth. Or a shroud, her mind supplies before she can get ahold of her thoughts. The next attempt is more successful once she lifts her hips to release the garment from beneath her.

“Thancred said you wanted to be woken after a few bells.” Haurche slips helpful hands under her to better free her limbs. His voice is quiet, murmured close to her ear. “His condition for agreeing to sleep.”

“Oh.” Nerys looks to the other man. It has been some time since she witnessed this—Thancred is a light sleeper by training. She has only seen him in such deep slumber a handful of times before. 

Her hand reaches for his hair. She catches herself. Looks back to Haurche who has a forcibly neutral expression.

“Lyna? The others?”

“Seen to, resting, or if not resting at least sitting down and eating.” He rubs up and down her spine. “Chessamile says that I may take you to your rooms if you like.”

Again she looks to Thancred. After all that…she cannot leave him. Not after she made him stay and watch over her. Not with so much still…

“Or you may remain here.” Haurche whispers. “Frankly, I have been very comfortable and am loathe to move. Whatever they make these chairs of-”

“Chairs?” There is a rush of movement on her other side, startling the pair into grabbing each other. Thancred blinks at them once, twice, groans. “S’bright out.”

“Yes, sleepy boy.” Haurchefant reaches past her to pat Thancred’s hip. The tight black clothing shows exactly the curve of it, the line leading up to his broad chest and shoulders.

[semper-legens]

164. Over Sea, Under Stone, by Susan Cooper

Owned?: Yes Page count: 175 My summary: On holiday in Cornwall, the three Drew children are bored on a rainy day when they discover a long-forgotten secret hidden in the attic. With their great-uncle Merriman, they are soon pulled into a world of legend, when great kings walked the land and did battle with their foes. But there are enemies after their secret. Will the children find the holy grail, or lose it forever? My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

Yep, it’s that time of year again, for the third time on this blog we’re talking about the Dark Is Rising sequence! That text links back to the tag that contains all my previous posts about these books, check them out if you’re interested because I’m going to try not to cover old ground when I talk about these books. I love them. They’re like a slightly more grown-up Narnia - based on English and Welsh folklore and folk traditions, featuring a struggle between all that is good and all that is evil, old magic and high magic and wild magic. That said, this book in particular is more of a mashup of Narnia and the Famous Five. Posh kids on holiday find the Holy Grail! It’s a lot lighter in tone than the rest of the series, but I love it all the same.

One of the things I’m really appreciating on this readthrough is how likeable and credible these kids are. Sure, they talk a lot more posh and formally than any kid I’d know today, but also these are kids from the 1960s, before my mother was born. I’m willing to believe kids did genuinely talk differently then. But the Drew kids bicker and snipe at each other like real kids, they make dumb choices and weird assumptions like real kids, they love and want to protect each other like real kids. The other thing I really like about the kids is seeing glimpses of the character traits that would become relevant in later books. In particular, Jane’s empathy. Jane is going to be basically the main character of the third book, Greenwitch, and arguably the inciting incident of that whole plot is Jane feeling sorry for the titular Greenwitch, an (as far as she knows) inanimate offering given ritualistically to the sea. We see this here, with her feeling sorry for the Dark characters, or her innately understanding the emotions of other characters. Sure, it’s likely a side effect of her being The Girl of the team, but it’s also a nice character trait for her to have, and one I like seeing as heroic in this kind of media.

I feel like I say this every year, but Merriman, your plans are bad. Merriman’s heavily implied to be literally Merlin, yet he can’t come up with a better plan than ‘let these random kids loose in a house and hope they trip over the plot’? It would be a bit better for me if, say, the kids just happened to have tripped over the plot and Merriman just went along with it because hey, they’re involved now. But no, it’s almost explicitly stated that Merriman’s plan was to bring these kids here and involve them in the fight against the Dark. Good going, Merlin! It’s also kind of weird in retrospect that we see Merriman more as a regular human being and less of an Old One - he’s fooled by Mrs Palk telling him the kids have gone elsewhere, and we even see him having just woken up, something I can’t really imagine of the later Merriman. It’s not too jarring, but it is a bit weird in hindsight.

And while I keep calling this the lighter of the series (because it is) I am reminded on this reread that, yeah, this book has its darker edges too. The Drew kids are fighting the tide in the climax, and if they were a little slower they totally could have died. Barney gets kidnapped, and had he not managed to snap out of it, who knows what the agents of the Dark might have done to him. The house gets burgled by the Dark, and mention is made of the Dark’s agents searching the kids’ bedroom, although this didn’t actually happen. And the Dark’s agents are totally willing to kill kids! It’s not as dark as the later books would become (I’ve overused the word ‘dark’ here horribly) but damn, it’s not all sunshine and roses either.

Next up, the next in this series, as the Dark comes rising.

[manicpixiedreamcurl]

I say this with the utmost respect. Your writing disgusts me, and by disgust I mean gives me so many feels it hurts.

Please please please tell me there isn’t another shoe that is going to fall when it comes to Eddie and Shy!Reader because they are perfect. So absolutely perfect and I will never forgive you if you hurt them (points finger aggressively). I need to see them 5-10 years down the road. I need to see her by Rockstar!Eddie side when he makes it big.

But really your writing is so breathtaking. I just finished chapter 8 and I want to turn around and reread and reread and reread it. Your description makes everything feel tangible. Please never stop writing this story.

You have a gift and I hate you for it (she says with love as she wallows in writers block self pity)

…okay I’m done…

So I have a bad habit of opening Tumblr the second I wake up (bad, bad, don't do it) and I cannot express the confusion the first sentence brought me before my brain had fully woken up and I could barely keep my eyes open. I was like 'eh...respect...disgust??? Um wait wait gimme ten more minutes' then I came back after snoozing and got it lmao. So thank you very much!

👀

Listen listen I've said from the beginning it will be a happy ending but we goooootta sprinkle a little angst in there somewhere right??? But whatever happens I promise they're both gonna be big squishy gross in love together by the end and also I have a LONG (unusual for me I know) epilogue planned so we are gonna see them further down the line.

Thank you so much friend, this is such a lovely (threatening) message, it's so nice to read people's reactions like this, I can't even tell you. I will finish it, I am determined, but mayyyy take a while 😬 cause I am right there with you on the wallowing in writers block self pity, I've been there for like a year and a half lol.

Either way, thank you!!! Truly this was so funny to wake up to and super kind of you, I really really am so happy with the reaction the fic gets and I'm so so glad you're enjoying it. And it is motivating as hell until I get that Google doc open 🥲