#i have lots of jokes

[cinistrs]

You tell Cyno a joke! It... has an effect, you think.

consider this my summoning ritual for cyno. i have 55 wishes, no guaranteed and a dream 😎

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[reineydraws]

three is a pattern, shanks!

[shkspr]

time for my oddly specific dni that is a joke and not real. ofc tag how many apply to you. dni if you:

like ranch dressing

think you “Get” the movie inception

are an only child

were/are into supernatural AND sherlock but NOT doctor who

were born after st patricks day 2002

dont like fruit or vegetables

took german in high school

have happily married parents

have a strong preference for the xbox over other consoles

have a name that was one of the top 100 in your country the year you were born

have or want more than two dogs

are a libra

are against writing/highlighting in books (like morally against it, even other people doing it in books that arent yours and have nothing to do with you)

have never worked customer service

like thunderstorms

are a man who works in tech

dont remember your dreams

dont have a favorite color

regularly wear jeans to bed

look good in hats

[finedinereception]

“lilith got charlie in the divorce” “lucifer got charlie in the divorce” actually alastor got her

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

You ever have those moments where an idea just... won't leave your head?

[dedusmuln]

yeah you support trans people but are you normal about trans men who choose to get pregnant

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Embrace the truth

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[ca-3]

I don't think I've posted these here, but P5 shitposts from my twt again lolol

[ingravinoveritas]

Michael on the Zoe Ball Show on March 1st: "And he looks good in a kilt as well, doesn't he?"

David on Comic Relief tonight:

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Danny as Fenton takes a hit that no human boy should survive while in a different city (im going crossover here) and just transforms into phantom and pretends to be all sad that he died. Just for a moment. He then proceeds to kick the baddies ass. Claims he got ghost powers and fucks off. Imagine if Captain America or Batman saw this while failing ti protect him, hell or any hero type. Danny doesn’t think much on it and just goes on with his week. Continues being Fenton of course but what if he runs into whatever hero, but out if costume, saw him do that.

“How are you here? And alive?”

Danny holding a smoothie:”uhhhh I made a miraculous recovery”

He just shrugs it off and goes about his day. It isn’t until he finally gets some sleep later that night that he wakes up in a cold sweat realising he now knows their secret identity. “Oh well it’s neat I guess” starts to go back to sleep only to bolt back up “oh god now they know my secret identity”

Meanwhile said hero is too busy trying to figure out how to help this random kid to even be worried about the fact that they outed themselves. Someone else probably points it out to them and has to explain it twice before it gets thru.

[temeyes]

anatomy of Annie Riley a.k.a Ghost's little Bub (a somewhat continuation of [this] lol)

[inkskinned]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[the1trueanon]

hehehehe finally got these done!! Reboot is so fun to draw; I swear drawing him just bursting into laughter immediately made me feel so much better about literally everything 🥰 He has such a pretty smile, especially when it's genuine. I love him being silly and giggly 🥰 I want him to just be able to laugh and be happy .....buuuut at the same time I also want to put him through so many of The Horrors(TM), so maybe my wants shouldn't be trusted XD

As always, Welcome Home belongs to Clown (partycoffin), and Reboot!Wally/the Reboot AU belongs to @bloodrediscream!💖💖

[allastoredeer]

I don’t know why but I think it would be hilarious to see how Alastor and Lucifer would react to a reporter asking about their relationship in ur fic, since they would need to keep their facade and such.

Lucifer probably teaching Alastor how to act, since he has ‘more experience’ in romance, while Alastor reminds him that he has been dumped two times and doesn’t trust a single thing. That mental image is so priceless 😆😆

Also imagine a reporter going like “everyone in hell want to know who tops in bed?”, and lucifer almost proud goes “ofc it’s me”, meanwhile Alastor ace ass is confused as hell, cause he isn’t familiar with the term, but feels offended nonetheless lmao

Meanwhile vox is crying and eating ice cream in bed

Yes, Vox is watching this and he is crying, sobbing, on the floor.

Hehehehe Lucifer is going to have his work cut out for him in the fic, though. He's got more experience than Alastor does, and knows how to at least come off as being in a typical, allosexual relationship.

Alastor is sitting there, zoning out, because hhhhhhhhhh why does this require more effort than he thought it would.

Alastor: Let's pretend to be in a relationship

Alastor when he actually has to pretend to be in a relationship: