#i have no business asking my ex what his poly lifestyle is like

[genderfluid-druid]

on the razors edge of saying things that would start conversations i KNOW are destructive to both me and other people so hello tumblr. I'm posting here instead because those people are not here

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

🧚‍♀️ Anon here!

I have a few Fairytale ideas that I’d like to share to see your opinion on them and if their interesting or not (And some ideas from Movies)

Grim Yandere Tales

Hansel and Gretel (NO incest!): Reader is the mother who takes her children and runs from her abusive husband, with Leone and/or Bruno as the Witch (She adopted her children, who are Giorno, Narancia and maybe Trish)

Aladdin (I think you’ll like this): Reader is the street rat, Diavolo is the Sultan, Giorno and Bruno are visiting Royalty (Who plan to try and free Diavolo’s people either by killing him or taking his throne), Risotto is the sorcerer and Mista is the Genie

Thumbelina: Reader is a small human who was discovered by the Fairy Prince Bruno, only to be seen by Risotto/Doppio who’s either a normal human or a Dark Fae who wants her for himself

Movies

Dracula: Count Risotto and Bruno (With Reader being his fiancée)

Sleepy Hollow: Dio as the Headless Horseman

Corpse Bride: Not sure yet, what do you think?

Jekyll and Hyde: Either Diavolo and Doppio, Bruno and Risotto

Labyrinth: Risotto or Diavolo as the Goblin King

Legend: Diavolo as The Darkness with Doppio as his only way to go out in the sunlight, Reader is the Princess and Giorno is the hero who lives in the forest

I mentioned Diavolo, Bruno and Risotto a lot because there my favorites (It’s hard to stray from them)

I'm sorry I took so long to respond, been really busy lately packing.

I've actually had ideas for thumbelina and and corpse bride for a while now but never managed to get them written down so I'll cover those first

Thumbalina

I was thinking that Bruno would attempt to save darling. Thinking that they were another fae captured by a human. Darling explains the situation. It's revealed they're a fae who'd probably been taken far from their home. Bruno offers to take Darling back with him so they can be where they belong and get a pair of wings. Darling is hesitant on the idea and tells him they need a week to decide.

During that week two things could happen.

Another fae named doppio meets darling. Reader is unaware he's a dark fae, so when he asks them to help him and that he'll return them home straight after they agree non the wiser

Or

Darling is discovered by Risotto after their mother leaves for an emergency and is quickly snatched away. Initially he's looking to sell them for money but soon starts to fall for them and decides to keep them for himself

Corpse bride

Honestly I think Fugo. He was born into a wealthy lifestyle but could not stand the family around him. Believed he'd found love but in reality it was all a set up that lead to his death.

Darling is forced into marrying into wealth but doesn't want to. Tries running away into the forest and comes in possession of the now cursed ring originally meant for that first love that causes him to awaken and subsequently gets trapped in the underworld.

Hansel and Gretel

Ok so reader initially ran and hid away in a town. During this she took in the three. Their upbringings similar to canon. Narancia is 10 and had an eye infection that Darling was trying to earn the money to treat. Giorno and Trish are 8.

After being found by their ex again they run in the forest in night. For what seems like hours they keep going until they find a house with a door wide open and lights on.

They all go inside and call out to the owner but no response. Darling would try to leave but it's evident that the kids are too tired to keep running. So Darling decides to tuck them into one of the beds and wait for the owner to explain, however they fall asleep shortly after.

Now it could be either or a poly situation with both.

Bruno would be more outwardly willing to help while Abbacchio though still helping would be a bit more stern.

Darling wakes up in the morning where they meet the house owner and explain the situation. They're offered the spare bedrooms to stay in. Darling initially refuses the offer as they have to keep running. The kids wake up and it's immediately noticed that narancias eye's swelling has reduced. And that is how Darling would be hooked into staying.

Aladdin

Darling and her family used to be farmers but after harsh heatwaves are left with little to nothing left and Diavolo the newly crowned sultan attempts to arrange a marriage with darling but due to their hatred of the new sultan they refuse. After stealing food from traders they're caught and imprisoned and Risotto confronts them. He explains that he too hates Diavolo and that if darling were to help him retrieve a powerful artifact that he would offer them enough riches to let their family live without working another day in their life when he takes over.

So darling agrees but only if he allows them ownership of a particularly expensive ring he has until he fulfills his end of the deal.

So darling helps Risotto grab the artifact, some old lamp that they don't see any purpose of. As they're about to leave Risotto attempts to help them escape but the floor caves beneath darling and they fall in and he leaves.

Awhile after darling is found by Giorno and Bruno who have ropes to help darling escape and bring them back into town. They reveal they're both royalty from another land who've come to try and establish a trade route. However upon entering town they're meet by Diavolo who quickly has darling arrested, telling them that they're luck they weren't attacked as they have a record of stealing from traders and the like. The lamp being left in the hands of the two.

Dracula

Bruno and darling come to transylvania after receiving a letter from count Nero who wants to relocate to London and help with selling the castle.

They arrive and discuss with the count. Bruno and darling discuss the state of the castle and come to the conclusion that sell to the count will be easy however it'd take some work to clean areas of the castle to get photos good enough to try and convince potential buyers.

They're warned not to leave the bedroom at night however one night darling hears a scream in the night. Bruno is still asleep so they investigate on their own. They encounter Risotto while he's feasting and is pretty much frozen in fear. The next morning Bruno finds that both his fiancee and the count are gone. Bruno investigates only to find a journal written by the count that reveals the truth.

Headless horsemen

(Have not watched sleepy hollow unfortunately)

Darling is an aspiring novelist who moves into a small town after getting inheritance. They hope that the local legends will fuel their inspiration. Locals warn them they shouldn't be outside at nightfall. They investigate one night and grabbed by who the locals refer to as the headless horseman and dragged into the thick fog.

Jekyll and Hyde

Bruno is a detective who is trying to solve a string of crimes connected to a mysterious Diavolo. Darling a close friend to both bruno and Doppio (though doppio and bruno are only acquainted) begins to get stalked and eventually kidnapped. Now Doppio needs to hide them away from investigators as if he doesn't Diavolo vow to ruin their lives.

Labyrinth

I'd probably say Diavolo is best for the role of Jareth. Honestly this one will probably be as close to the movie as it gets from me.

Legend

(Another one I unfortunately haven't see)

Giorno and darling are taking a stroll through the forest when all of a sudden the weather changes to a harsh snow storm and are separated. Darling stumbles across the scene of doppio and the unicorn, hearing what he says to himself they decide to follow the man back to the castle after hearing all that is needed they attempt to leave only to be caught by Doppio.

Originally locked in the dungeon she is eventually moved to a room in the castle and is free to wonder. Given various gifts with letters of proposal until Diavolo decides to meet her in person.

[hellreads]

Hello, I just stumble on your blog. Seeing a comment from Wrienne which I also read on AO3, I wanted to ask if you also have AO3 recs..?

hi there darling, of course, I have some recs for you! since you didn’t ask for anything specific let me just share a few faves that you could only read/access on ao3 (I would also recommend you check my ficshelfs and use the ao3 filter to find stories exclusively posted there + i’ll still include wrienne’s works for other readers :3 ) | 🍒

OT7/MULTIPLE MEMBERS

❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity ➴ Infidelity!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Jimin | Series ➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.

❥ The Hills by minlouvre ➴ Vacation/Exes!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok | Series ➴ A ski trip with old friends sounds like a fun time, right?

when your ex-boyfriend (who you hate but somehow always end up in bed with) and your stepbrother (who you are harboring not-so-secret feelings for) tag along at the last minute, you have a feeling it won’t be an uneventful weekend.

but fun? debatable. that remains to be seen. ❥ A Hundred Percent Human by Wrienne ➴ Hybrid!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series ➴ In which you (reader) are forced to take care of seven hybrids in a twist of fate.

After your estranged mother passes away, you're left with an unwanted will and the heavy burden of responsibility. Although you're desperate not to stray from the familiar path you thought was laid out in front of you with a fully human boyfriend who loves you more than anything, your life is thrown upside down once more after another unfortunate incident (that may or may not have to do with said boyfriend) occurs.

Drunk and down on life, you finally decide to deal with the house and the unsavory business your mother left behind. However, to your shock, you find that seven very different hybrids are included with both the house - and the business. Seven hybrids you never even met before - even less agreed to take care of.

❥ Dead Leaves by Wrienne ➴ Detective/Exes!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series ➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency. ❥ See Both Sides Like Chanel by minlouvre ➴ FWB/Rich Kids!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot ➴ You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. 

Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

⤷ or alternatively: a little less twenty-one candles, a little more “touch me”

❥ Love Is A Dog From Hell by yourlocalhoney ➴ FWB/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook | Series ➴ You and Yoongi agreed on being good friends, co-workers, and friends who help each other out under the sheets. What you never agreed on was to catch feelings for each other.

Enter, accidental feelings.

Enter, Jeon Jungkook.

❥ The Uncanny by Sinsirella ➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Jungkook x Reader x Seokjin x Jimin | Series ➴ (Y/N) is a young girl whose Life turns upside down. One day her mother surprises her with news of her arranged husband, forcing her into her new chaotic lifestyle. Join her journey and experience her new life through her eyes. Will she get along with her husband? Or someone else? What are they hiding? ❥ Seven Deadly Sins by mintedmango ➴ Hell!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series ➴ You stood suddenly, chair being pushed away by the backs of your legs, the rest of the sins standing with you as you looked around in panic. All except Sloth who was out cold in the corner.

“Oh, little pet, indeed, I am still hungry.”

❥ Walk Through The Fire by shellflower ➴ Supernatural!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series ➴ In a world of supernatural beings, a normal human like yourself always found attraction and wonder towards these creatures. It was your kind heart that led you to become a doctor to treat such people. And it was your kind heart that led you into the arms of a young Alpha wolf who will accidentally force you down a path you were never meant to follow... ❥ Into Temptation by coconutty  ➴ Demon!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Two-Shot ➴ It was just a dare...

❥ Won’t Be Nice by coconutty ➴ Lovers/Poly!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot ➴ A night by the pool just got interesting...

KIM NAMJOON

❥ Covenant by fringesofsanity ➴ Arranged Marriage!AU | Namjoon x Reader | Series ➴ You are betrothed to Kim Namjoon, the heir of a real estate mogul. To say that it was a fairytale romance would be erroneous. You’re instead loped in the sad tale of the rich and melancholy.

❥ Read You Like A Book by coconutty ➴ University!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot ➴ Come get an attitude adjustment in the library, courtesy of Namjoon.

KIM SEOKJIN

❥ Éffleurer by @sugaurora / sugalights ➴ Office!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series ➴ There were always whispers in your office about what secrets Seokjin hid behind his clean image. Now, you knew at least one of them. ❥ The City Comes Alive by minlouvre ➴ Musician/S2L!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series ➴ Seokjin is a street performer who falls for a girl who is always passing him by. ❥ Seaside Sabbatical by dark_muse_iris ➴ Working Man!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot ➴ After an accountant in your firm is sent to prison, you are assigned to clean up the mess he left behind. Sorting out your clients’ disastrous business records proves beneficial when you meet the fisherman who teaches you the value of taking a break. ❥ Cake by yeyeniejjung ➴ Yandere/Killer!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series ➴ "I was always hungry for your love. Just once, I wanted to know what is was like to get my fill of it. I wanted to be fed so much love that I couldn't take it anymore, just once." ❥ The Lord Taketh Away by dark_muse_iris ➴ Medieval/Werewolf!AU | Seokjin x Reader | One-Shot ➴ Every autumn, the dwindling harvest summons fears for the impending winter and its promise of scarcity. For Seokjin and his wife, faith lies in God and their local lord’s generosity to provide what their ailing son needs to survive another year. With each season, however, the lord grows cold-hearted and greedy, squeezing the young family to the brink of despair.

MIN YOONGI

❥ Zelus by SugaAconcept ➴ Lovers/Sugar Daddy!AU | Yoongi x Reader | One-Shot ➴ Yoongi becomes jealous when your close friend Jungkook puts his hands all over you right infront of his face. So, Yoongi decides to make sure you know who you really belong to. ❥ Carpe Diem by fringesofsanity ➴ Idol/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader | Series ➴ Working for the UN, you are tasked to handle the poverty reduction campaign of a certain boy band. A certain rapper from the group however decides to mix business with pleasure.

JUNG HOSEOK

❥ Feel You From The Inside by coconutty  ➴ Idol/Staff!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You've been watching him for months, little did you know, he's been watching you.

❥ As You Are by fringesofsanity ➴ Lovers!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You're not the girl for Jung Hoseok. Him - who was sunshine and daisies and fireworks. You - who were back-alley darkness and used needles and burnt cigarettes. But he doesn't care. And you fucking hate yourself for it.

❥ The Thin Blue Line by bluesxde ➴ Pregnancy/E2L!AU | Hoseok x Reader | Series ➴ One badly-judged fling with Jung Hoseok, the son of a company-rival, leaves you with a little surprise.

PARK JIMIN

❥ His Throne by hseoks ➴ Royalty!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series ➴ You, a maid for the royal family, have sex with the irresistible Prince Park Jimin on his throne.

❥ Ineffable by fringesofsanity ➴ FWB!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You’ve only shared your body to Jimin, mostly silent after the act. The one time you decide to bare so much more, you find yourself baring your soul to him, far more than you bargained for.

❥ Blue Side by hoseokiehopie ➴ Ghost/Lovers!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You’re all too familiar with the legend that says the dead can walk freely on Halloween. It’s a secret you hold deeply within yourself. When a classmate starts to break down the walls you built so strongly after your boyfriend’s passing, you have to decide if you’re going to remain in the past with the dead, or live among the living.

KIM TAEHYUNG

❥ Effervescence by fringesofsanity ➴ Idol/Fling!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ Just like the fizz of a cola on a hot summer’s day, your encounter with Taehyung is short but sparkly sweet.

OR Getting married in three months, you and your girls attend Ultra Miami to cap your single life, a final hurrah of some sort. What you didn’t expect is meeting a beguiling boy with a boxy smile who gives you a festival you’ll forever reminisce.

❥ Minutiae by coconutty ➴ Stalker!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ Y/N meets a mysterious and alluring photographer and wants to interview him. Along the way things start getting a bit strange. What happens when you draw the attention of someone who always gets what they want?

❥ Flower Arrangements by iq_biased ➴ Pregnancy/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader | One-Shot ➴ From the moment you met Taehyung, his flourish for life drew you in completely. It wasn’t long before you fell head over heals for the tattoo artist who was so wrong for you, it felt right. But your story hasn’t always been an easy one, and just recently it’s become a whole lot more complicated…

❥ Freaks Forever by yeyeniejjung ➴ Criminal/Psych!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ "So tell me, Mister Kim, what's your ideal evening?"

"Ah..full moon, sex and drugs all night."

You are the psychologist to the world's most dangerous criminal, Kim Taehyung. Kim Taehyung is the man solely responsible for some of the most horrific crimes that the world has ever seen, from burglary, drug possession, sexual assaults, to brutal homicides of a total of 37 victims, though there are suspicions that there are more, that range from children to the elderly; both male and female. The two of you form an odd bond between your weekly sessions, causing you to somehow completely miss his blatant manipulation that soon controlled you in every aspect; resulting in his escape from prison and his bloodthirsty ways and eyes to be immediately turned onto you..but will he spare you in the end of the torturous time he keeps you or will your fate be the same as any other past victim of his?

❥ Slow Burn by fringesofsanity ➴ Idol/F2L!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series  ➴ He was just supposed to be one of those clients. But then he gives you a night you’ll never forget. ❥ Noona by yuu14045 ➴ Neighbors/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin lives in same apartment building. One day Taehyung received a mail for another Kim. She turned out to be Jimin's new neighbor.

❥ Snapped by Kpopyandere ➴ Yandere!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Series ➴ Your relationship with your boyfriend hasn't been going well lately. His twin, Kim Taehyung, decides to take advantage of this.

JEON JUNGKOOK

❥ If You’re Struggling Like I Am by @btssavedmylifeblr / bts_ruined_my_life ➴ Idol/Lovers!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series ➴ You are hired as a makeup artist for BigHit working with BTS. You are older than all of them, yet, despite your best efforts, you find yourself slowing falling in love with the youngest member.

❥ My Cheating Amnesic Fiancé by Wrienne ➴ Idol/Arranged Marriage!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series ➴ A series set in our world featuring Reader, the sole heiress of a multibillion-dollar company, and the Bangtan Boys' Golden Maknae - Jeon Jungkook. Mainly a romance, though doused with angst, drama and the twisted ways of fate. ❥ Return by Kpopyandere ➴ Yandere!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series ➴ As Seokjin's girlfriend, you're off-limits, but Jungkook doesn't see it that way

[polyamoroamer]

Rational Poly Men(TM)

So, you've been polyamorous for a little while, maybe even a big while. You meet this guy. He's funny, quick off the mark, intelligent, friendly. He's got a lot of polyamorous friends, some people even consider him a 'polyamory expert'. He may or may not modestly deny this. He isn't close to most of his ex partners, if any. They were frequently too controlling, too jealous, unwilling to do the necessary self work that polyamory requires. He's smooth. Maybe he even tells you he no longer really experiences jealousy, or gives some terribly minor, long-ago examples of it to prove empathy.

Maybe you end up dating him, or watching him date someone close to you. Let's say it's your friend, S. She's very empathetic, a warm, loving person. She's not completely new to polyamory, but she hasn't had many close relationships within this framework. She cares a lot about those around her and will always try to make time to show you she loves you. You regard S as a very good friend, and a good partner to those she dates - always willing to work on her own issues before taking it out on the other person.

You watch as she transitions from the initial elation and progressively becomes more and more unhappy and nervous, then happy again by turns. She confides in you, more than she ever has. Mr Rational has all these fights with his longterm primary partner. She hasn't spent much time with her, but she sounds pretty controlling. It's like she doesn't want Mr R to spend any time with S.

Of course, she says, he gives his primary so much leeway but he can only give her so much, right? They both agreed to polyamory, and it's not fair for her to ask him to stop seeing S entirely.

Eventually, S seems more steady, a bit more sure of her position. She's started spending time with Ms Primary, and they get on surprisingly well - both very courteous and always making sure they help each other get what they need in their relationships with Mr R, without hurting him in the process. It occurs to you that Mr R seems to be being very passive here - he's almost more like a toy letting himself be passed between two partners rather than a man with agency who can deliberately make time for either of them. He may or may not. seem to have one form of input, however: the suggestion that Ms P and S start seeing each other sexually too. S may view this as a kind willingness to share the affection of his partners.

Mr R starts seeing someone new. Suddenly S is nervous, vulnerable, confiding in you again, and closer to Ms Primary than ever before. They try to talk to Mr R together - even Ms P can see that Mr R is neglecting his relationship with S. Not to mention her own relationship with him. S tells you that Mr R doesn't do anything at the house, that Ms P is stuck doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry... Sometimes, she whispers, it's almost like he keeps her as a housekeeper rather than a partner.

They confront him together. Mr R accuses them both of jealousy, ganging up on him, of being controlling, too insecure to deal with the realities of polyamory. Because she is kind, and easily led to believe she is in the wrong, S starts working on her insecurities and issues with jealousy. You note that Mr R stays distant from this processing and doesn't offer noticeable support. Perhaps he is still too caught up in NRE.

This is a hypothetical situation, based off what I've seen in a few polycules I've encountered over the years. My first (secondhand) experience of polyamory was watching two (and then more) friends go through something akin to this. Mr R is one of my close friends, and so is Ms P, and now S, and many others. They are also Pete and Bea and Flora, they are also Franklin Veaux (Eve Rickert's coauthor in writing More Than Two) and his partners. They are also those guys I meet at festivals and out and about. The beautiful ones who are simultaneously drop dead gorgeous, charming and utterly yawn-inducing in their similarity. Mr 2Evolved4U.

Mr Rational Poly Man: Simultaneously active in the pursuit of new connections and absolutely, unbearably passive in the maintenance of current ones. The guys who start seeing someone new and it's down to whoever has the grabbiest hands to spend time with him. If you're sad about him not making the effort to see you, it's your fault for not demanding that time. If he doesn't want to spend that time with you, it's your fault for being too controlling. If you feel insecure or jealous, it's because you can't handle polyamory. Maybe you just want him to be monogamous with you, huh?

Mr Rational Poly Man frequently has at least one partner who bends over backwards to enable his lifestyle of pursuing new partners. Usually a woman, she takes on the role of mother, doing his laundry, his cooking, his cleaning, possibly even in some cases she is the sole breadwinner. She has little time to pursue new relationships herself, or even maintain the ones she does have. She is too busy being two adults, and looking after a man child.

This is more or less just a warning post, and a reminder that those guys who believe somehow that they're terribly rational are usually complete bellends. 'I don't feel jealousy anymore, I'm beyond it' often means: 'I have caring and empathetic partners who do their best to maintain our relationship as well as forming new ones, and I take it for granted'.

In my experience, when a Rational Poly Man feels jealousy, because his partner is maybe finally thinking of leaving him, or because they have formed a new, intense relationship and are maybe showing less care than they usually would, it's a messy explosion of rage. Because the coddling has momentarily stopped, and poor baby can't handle it.

M was not quite a Rational Poly Man, but he definitely sometimes bordered on it. The one time in our relationship where I behaved with a new partner the way he did every time (sexually interacting with them and not wanting to with him), he threw a complete tantrum and actually, it made me feel a little better about my behaviour in that moment, because while it was shitty, it was important for me to see how much I'd been catering to him and how little he'd been doing the same for me, though I genuinely believe he was trying to in his own way. And that was only a lowkey version of this.

Don't be taken in by Rational Poly Men. It's just a ballache waiting to happen, and a lacklustre experience in every way. Realistically though, they do tend to be very good in bed (or so I am led to believe) so it can be hard to let that go for a lot of people. Just remember there are always more people out there who either are good in bed, or are willing and quick to learn.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[ah17hh]

I thought I had this poly thing down... via /r/polyamory

I thought I had this poly thing down...

Backstory: I (38f) have been dating my boyfriend (46m) about 7 months. Sixth of those months I also dated his girlfriend, we were a happy little triad but I just wasn’t clicking with her so I de-escalated that relationship a few weeks ago. Since then he and I have struggled to find time to be together (I used to spend 2-3 nights a week at their house) and I live 30 minutes away, we both have a child and busy lives, etc. I was completely new to poly when he initially pursued me (dude vigorously pursued me even though I told him I wasn’t sure I could handle poly) but after 14 years of marriage where I kept falling in love with other people (and a LOT of research) it seems like a perfect fit for me...we had a closed triad, and we all agreed to not date outside of it (he mentioned that he’s not comfortable with his girlfriend dating other men, which I think is a sexist double standard, but that’s a convo I still need to have with him). Which leads to my current issue... Last night he said that he and a woman he met on Fetlife want to get together for coffee. He mentioned her a few months ago, and I asked him why he wants to meet women online if he says he's not going to date anyone else, and he said it's nice to find friends who live the lifestyle, blah blah blah. Last night he passed along the "I'm not a threat to your relationship" message that this women wanted me to hear. I thought that was interesting. On the surface it seems fine, but it absolutely gutted me and made me feel like shit. He's going to make time to see this woman while he and I can barely see each other once a week?! And I'm sorry, if you meet someone on a fetish website and want to meet them in person, are you really just looking for friendship?? So I was up at 3:30 this morning agonizing about whether poly is right for me. Whenever something that makes me feel really insecure happens, I agonize over it for days, then I eventually accept it because I don't want to keep him from living his life. It take me a few days to a few weeks to get to acceptance (and I usually look back and think, what was I even upset about?) so I know I’ll get there, but right now really sucks. I love him (gag, I know) and he loves me. He’s the most interesting, supportive, loving, intelligent & funny man I’ve ever met. Full disclosure, he’s also only the second serious boyfriend I’ve ever had, after my ex-husband. My question: are these moments of intense insecurity normal? Or do I need to further explore whether poly is right for me? I know I have some self work to do because these insecurities are ridiculous and need to be addressed outside of my relationships. I also know I need to have a convo with him about me dating other men (and women) so I’m getting all my needs met. Thank you for any advice or support you have to share!

Submitted August 14, 2020 at 10:13AM by buffykins82 via reddit https://ift.tt/2XY8RXF