#i have no idea if my imagination of characters is anywhere near fanon but i enjoyed drawing her a lot

[dropthedemiurge]

A pretentious coffin, Jean had called it [the school] a month ago, when Renee asked after it. Fanciful and grim, she’d thought then, but now she understood. [...] Pretentious coffin, she silently agreed, and then, But not yours. [...]The only thing that mattered was the body on Riko’s floor. Not a body, Renee thought fiercely, and willed it to be true, but how could it be true when Jean looked like this? That Riko had just left him here like this was almost as horrifying as the state he was in, and she was trembling as she knelt on the ground by his head. [...] The gate rattled open, and Renee flashed Riko a peace sign out the window as she put the pedal to the floor. Unnecessary, she knew, but she could worry about her attitude later.

– lazarus, Nora Sakavic

Hey look, it's my first ever AFTG/TSC fanart! And of course, I chose to express the angst :D

[anghraine]

For no particular reason, I’ve been navel-gazing about obnoxious comments I’ve gotten on fic over the years.

Of course, “obnoxious comments” aren’t created equal. I basically divide the ones I’ve personally received into three types: 1) breaches of etiquette, 2) trivial shit, and 3) wtf?

#1 is stuff like leaving a comment on a new fic to ask when I’m going to update an older fic for a completely different fandom. Please don’t do this! But it’s not a huge deal. Or just saying “update soon” and nothing else like I’m some sort of fic-writing machine. Or trash-talking the genre or ship that I’m writing to emphasize that my fic is good even though my taste in ships/tropes is shit or something. I don’t like any of these things, but they’re essentially just different ideas of courtesy.

#2 are things like ... correcting me for making up a title for the blank Fitzwilliam earldom in P&P instead of going with “Earl of Matlock” (an invention of the 1995 P&P—I’ve gotten multiple complaints about not using it). Or the occasional complaint about calling my genderbent Luke Skywalker “Lucy” instead of something more obscure and space-y (as opposed to the obscure sci-fi name Luke, I guess). Or my physical descriptions of the characters not matching the casting in someone’s preferred adaptation (again, P&P 1995 fandom is particularly prone to this—one person felt the need to inform me that they always imagined my Darcy as Colin Firth, despite knowing of my dislike for the 1995 and the descriptions in the fics not matching him, in response to a fic where Darcy is a woman). Or there’s “well actually in the novelization/Expanded Universe/film/whatever...”

#3 is easily the least common. The most objectionable of the “wtf” genre of comment was undoubtedly the person who thought I was implying that Elizabeth Bennet is a WOC in Season of Courtship, and went on a screed about it. The weirdest was the person who asked if leaving Subsequent Connections unfinished made me feel desirable. I was also pretty “wtf” at the person who urged me to stop writing screenplay-format fic because it reminded them of a different fic writer who they disliked. And there was someone (at AO3, of all places) who told me that my fic was great but I was personally shitty.

There have also been some kind of peculiar edge cases, like someone responding to my Ivriniel fic with a pseudo-above-it-all comment about how hilarious they found the idea of anybody in Gondor ever resenting Aragorn (i.e. the premise of the fic). There was also some person who was indignant that the other comments on First Impressions were positive despite Henry not being manly (there actually were plenty of other people who had criticisms of First Impressions, but most were clustered at different sites than this commenter’s). Obviously not anywhere near as bad as the straight-up racism or homophobia, but those still struck me as weird and wanky beyond just fannish obsessing over minutia.

I have gotten criticisms that I don’t think of as obnoxious—some were (non-adaptation-based) corrections of genuine mistakes, like Americanisms and getting Italian phrases wrong and continuity errors and things. Some people have noted where longer fics meandered off track and the pacing got uneven or seemed directionless (fair!). Some people don’t like my readiness to give substantial roles to OCs/near-OCs. Others don’t like specific decisions I made, like the Rebellion’s limited roles for women in the Lucyverse or the justification for Catherine’s proposal in First Impressions. Okay!

Also, while obviously I’ve seen and remembered the obnoxious comments, they make up a small proportion of the overall comments I’ve received over the years. Most people are nice. I’ve very rarely received really nasty direct comments, despite writing sketchy things at times, deliberately rejecting popular fanons, etc.

And ... I mean, my two biggest fandoms by a mile are P&P and SW (in terms of what I’ve written fic for). And Austen fandom has always been the odd one out for me, fandom-wise. If I excluded the responses to Austen fic specifically, my experience of fic comments would be even more overwhelmingly pleasant (and the comments on Austen fic are mostly pleasant, but it is definitely the wankiest fandom I’ve ever been: both very particular about conformity to its norms and very Cult of Nice about addressing pretty much anything). I know that SW fandom does have awful people in it who leave worse comments than anything I’ve ever received—that’s just what my personal experience has been.

So, yeah, the occasional obnoxiousness I’ve encountered seems like ... not nothing, by any means, but given how much I’ve written, what I’ve chosen to write, and the basic contrariness of my nature, I’ve probably come out pretty lucky as far as fandom goes.

[pocketramblr]

other main character meta- Ochako, pt 1

<part 2>

“Could you send me there?” you ask, while i blink, confused. “The world where someone else is the main character? not because i have any hypocritical biases against the one i got, just curious how the fandom meta changes.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” I nod, thinking, before tapping my wand against your forehead. “Let’s start with Ochako.”

"I'm going to warn you now- I will have to slightly adjust the plot like I did with Mirio, just to actually let her be the main character."

"Yeah, that checks out." You nod, thinking about certain arcs where the female fighting teams get no coverage while the dudes get four different backstory reveals and full fight focus.

"Very well."

The show begins with a brief narration by the girl of quirks and super hero fights- all flashy. Then it zooms out to show the destruction, and a small construction team moving in as Ochako explains that just as there are new careers in society for heroes, there's also a bigger market for construction companies, one of which her own family runs.

"I've always wanted to help them with it, and my quirk would be useful"- a tiny, adorable Ochako finally appears, making rocks in a park float- "but to get a work license like that is expensive and selective- you've got to make a lot of court appearances and convince them why is a good idea and won't destroy the economy. It's much easier to get a hero license."

Then she explains: "Of course, once you have a hero license, you can make a lot more money than just by helping the company. Especially if... Your family company isn't doing very well." A series of tired but loving parents are shown working all hours to make ends meet.

"I want to help them- my parents. They've done everything for me, and they deserve a break. So that's why I'm going to be a hero- their hero."

The training montage is quick, using her quirk during school in training, after school in secret, around the house. She saves up money too, and studies, aiming for a scholarship.

She applies and tests for many hero schools, and the exams all vary widely.

The first episode ends with her looking up at UA, her final one, the one she really hopes to get into.

"Oh, that's nice." You nod. "And we even get to know her parents' quirks here."

"Yep." I agree. "In general, there's a lot more of a look at the financial side. It's pretty interesting."

"And the fandom?"

"Well, certain people get praised for the bare minimum, but I'll admit having a female lead is super uncommon for shonen jump." It's an improvement, though it's up in the air how much of one it will be. "There's also, because we saw a lot more hero schools, a ton of "students at different school" fics, either because they were expelled or because of the danger UA gets into."

"I do kinda feel like this universe is lucky for that sort of world building." You nod.

"It's very cool to see the takes on the aus. But, I will say there's a cost for this world building- the AfO stuff reeeeally comes out of nowhere and tends to not be popular with fans."

The next episode starts, and Ochako helps a boy from falling. "Love interest alert!" The fans notice quickly when the cute boy blushes and doesn't manage to say much before she walks away.

"They caught on quick." You note.

"And they aren't wrong." Not that it's any real feat to be right.

The exam starts, and Ochako is off in a flash. You see a few glimpses of future classmates- Iida, Aoyama, Kirishima.

She does well, racking up villain points and rescue points, until she's a little too ambitious and falls into the rubble. Her nausea is well established by now, everyone knows she's at her limit.

She can't get up.

The green haired boy comes back and stops the zero pointer.

And breaks every bone in the process.

Ochako saves him in return, lifting up the rubble and stopping his fall.

And then vomits violently afterwards.

"You know, I think quirks suck, actually." The fandom tends to agree on this after that episode/chapter. "But it is interesting that there's such a price for the powers, balances it really well."

"Ha." You shake your head. "They caught onto that, quicker."

"Yep." I can't even say it's more highlighted here, it's the exact same way it was shown in our universe- down to the sparkling rainbow puke.

"Though..." You can't quite imagine that's the only thing the fandom is saying isn't actually that great.

"Ding ding ding." I nod. "Did our own main character get treated just like a damsel in distress? Sure, she saved him back, but that just meant she could have floated away on her own in that time, even if it made her sick. Better that than dead. Is it the sexism?" I shrug. "Most decide to wait and see a bit, and by the time they work together in the first battle exercise figure it's a pretty even split between them saving each other."

"So no sexism?" You get happy at that thought.

I cough. "Ah, no. Both in the show and the fandom. You wouldn't believe how many grown men complain about the lady mc, even as they keep watching."

"And have her body pillow."

"Please don't make me think about that." I cover my eyes, but don't deny that it's true. "Anyway, yeah. Get ready for a lot of people to point out that even though the main character is a girl, every single other girl is flat as cardboard so far and that she only has developed friends that are guys."

"Hey, they aren't flat-"

"In the first season? Yeah they are. Unless you meant, physically, in which case..."

"I didn't." You protest. "But I guess I can see your point, at the start."

"Right. Let's continue on."

Uraraka goes to Present Mic to offer her points. The man pats her on the head, and skyrockets to the position of fandom dad.

"It's all about Dadmic and then Dadzawa here," I explain. "The fans were very disappointed to learn Mic wasn't her homeroom teacher, but yeah... He got a huge head start before Dadzawa fics got going."

"Nice. And it's all fanon?"

"Yeah, it may be a good thing he's not actually in it much, or they might realize how much they just made up on their own."

Then she gets accepted in, on hero and rescue points- she's third place overall, and she gets the scholarship.

On the first day of school, she actually gets to know her love interest's name- Midoriya!

There's also the quirk assessment, which really leads to the "expelled to another school" au and the "fire Aizawa and replace him with better Mic" aus, the first of which lasts much longer in the fandom use, but the second one was just as passionate for a while.

Iida becomes the second friend, and gives her the "Infinity Girl" nickname- which actually is the fandom assumption of what her hero name will be for quite a while, a la 'ground zero'.

Then it's time for All Might's first appearance on screen, to much applause of the students, and the announcement that they get their costumes.

During the first battle exercise, there's a lot more lingering camera work in the changing rooms. Ochako gets to expand a lot more on how she didn't want her costume to be that tight. It's uncomfortable, especially when she thinks about wearing it in front of everyone.

"Oh, I forgot she didn't like it at first... Does she just, get used to it here?" It sounds horrible for the plot to just say 'get used to it' to the main character being sexualized by costume makers outside of her control, especially as a child.

"Not on my watch." I mumble, waving the wand. "Don't worry, she'll actually get more costume changes each time, like some other characters."

"Oh good."

Mineta, regrettably, still exists. You find the fandom manages to be even more violent in his removal.

The battle does even out the opinions on Midoriya, as well as lead to a boost in Iida's with his charming little attempt at thinking villainously.

And cements Bakugo as rather hated. No one has really liked him, when the first thing he did was blow up at Midoriya, then get revealed to have called him a cruel nickname all this time. And then specifically hunt him down because all he cares about it beating him up.

"Yeah he's not gonna get a lot of fans here huh."

"He sure never gets first place in the popularity poll." I agree. "Most consider him the subversion of the rival trope to show is just stupid and violent and in real life, people like that don't go anywhere."

"Most?"

I look away. "How dumb of a discourse do you think you could see today?"

"Oh please, show me." You lean in. "It's nice to not have to deal with it in my universe, so I don't care."

The discourse is such.

Bakugo is gay-coded for Midoriya, the violence is a result of him being shoved off for a girl's love interest when she should be single and independent, and the homophobic creator is vilifying all gay people by saying they are predatory to poor straight boys with refused.

"They............... What."

"If it makes you feel better, that's a very brief minority of the fandom. My favorite response to it was "he's not gay-coded, he's bully coded you sanctimonious sumph of a shmuck.""

"Oh good," you sigh. "I'm glad we don't have to deal with actual queerphobic tropes like that."

I stare at you.

"What?"

I sigh. "Nothing, put a pin in that until I bring up the predatory bi thing with Toga."

Your eyes widen, and you start to have some regrets.

"Anyway, we can talk shipping later. Time for more."

The 'exit sign Iida' gives him a boost in being shipped with Ochako, (as well as Yaoyorozu) and also the general idea that "Ochako has two hands."

That one hand can have a boyfriend with a lot of cash to spare for her and the other is also played with.

"I missed the main trio, like this." You smile as they walk off into the sunset after school.

"Yeah." I agree. "Anyway, time for some near death experiences."

The USJ marks the start of the gradual, gradual growth of Dadzawa fics. It also focuses far more on Ochako, Mina, Sero, and Iida having to think strategically to get around Kurogiri. It's only after Iida escapes that we cut back to a slightly abridged version of how Midoriya was doing, then the other kids, before help arrives.

He does still through his first non bone breaking punch though, which makes the audience happy.

All Might saves the day. Aizawa is battered afterwards. Many fans start out by saying they were disappointed, since this was supposed to be the first big fight, and the kids didn't do much. Many others say in response that's the point- we're looking at first years, they had to think and help each other, but in the end they had to rely on adults.

And then the sports festival is announced. They want to do well, because this is how they get work-week placements, which could become internship offers.

Ochako thinks about Hado Nejire, the only intern of a top ten hero, and senior at UA, along with a few others who are on the up and up. She's determined.

"Really? You're bringing in the big three early?" You ask, glancing at my wand.

It's not sparkling.

I cross my arms with a huff. "Look. Nejire is at this point the only intern in the top ten, she would have been recognizable to the students for that, even if they didn't recognize the big three (which really means that they aren't actually called the Big Three by everyone, or at least not a wide enough group for it to be as big a deal as it's treated. Anyway.) But she wasn't, even if she should have been the most famous of the bunch, considering the coverage the first years got in just their first night. That's because a certain someone doesn't actually think of his female characters much, but he has to in this universe, so."

"Ok, yeah, that's fair. So does that change the sports festival?"

"Not... Much." I admit.

“What?”

“Well, keep in mind in the first universe, our main character didn’t make it past the second round in the one-on-one’s. So she’s not exactly guaranteed a win here either.”

You have to nod, admitting that is true.

“And the conflict isn’t so much about having to live up to any predecessor or breaking down some people’s walls via breaking bones.” I tap my wand against my chin, thinking. “There really is two- one about Midoriya, and one about Ochako’s parents.”

“Oh?”

“One, there’s been the Uraraka’s not happy about how much danger Ochako’s been in. Its been hinted at in the phone calls, but really shows up when we get to see them at home before the SF for the first time since she moved for school. They aren’t sure if she can stay there herself, or if the right thing to do would be to pull her out and maybe try a smaller school.”

“I suppose that's fair, if they haven't been able to actually see her or her progress.”

“Right. The second one is- well. in this, Izuku’s win of the first round, and then breaking out of brainwashing, is more about really piling on how good his mind is- all that brain power. This adds more pressure when we see Ochako being offered a plan from him to beat Bakugo.”

“Oh that does sound neat.”

“Yep- but of course, she still refuses. It’s held up as a worse thing, strategically, initially- but then she comes up with a plan that Midoriya confirms in the stands is better than his, and proves to her parents that she’s smart and skilled enough to handle continuing at the school.”

You smile. “That is a cool arc to do, i guess, if very not traditional. But what about all the character setup and growth with Shinsou and Todoroki?”

“Oh, Shinsou’s largely gets delegated all the way later for the joint training arc, where Ochako’s team is directly against him. Todoroki...” I begin to giggle.

You wait for me to answer, getting more concerned the longer i laugh.

“Pocket?”

“Sorry, sorry, yeah. He actually tells her himself in this canon, a bit after stain. Oh! right, i forgot- the cheerleader incident.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. of course they need this merch opportunity! But yes, it happens. The... shall we say, non-body-pillow portion of the fandom, generally saw it as the end of any goodwill to Kaminari, who had previously been seen as a tertiary possible love interest, since he’d flirted with her on the first day. Flirt, but harmless, and unlikely to be important. Then there was that breach of trust and international embarrassment, and anyway he’s basically the second least likely in 1a to be shipped with her now.”

“Wow. So none of that changed?”

“Well, the setup wasn’t under narration from Todoroki about how his mother was bought for her body and how much that sucked and impacted her and the family while on screen we see multiple girls tricked into barring their bodies and its treated as a laugh instead?”

You stare at me. “I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.”

“Neither am I.”

“So, the Todoroki reveal?”

“Right. So, first you need to know the Stain thing- the claims he has against ‘false’ heroes focusing on money is better spotlighted. After Stain’s arrest, Ochako hears a couple of sidekicks at Gunhead’s agency-”

“Wait!” you interrupt. “She still interned with Gunhead? Then what was the point of showing Nejire and Ryukyuu earlier?”

I try not to massage my forehead. “To build up to it. She only made it to the first of the final round, she couldn’t get an internship with a top tenner yet. She’s also got to learn how to disarm someone who fights with a knife. These things build up over more time, small steps.”

“Ah.” You’re satisfied, and let me continue.

“Right, so, Overhears a couple of them talking about Stain’s philosophy and ends up just feeling really bad about it for a bit, trying to figure out if she’s actually being selfish or a bad hero for, you know, wanting her family to not be crushed due to capitalism.”

“Poor girl.” You shake your head in sympathy, the freeze. “Oh. did not intend that pun.”

“It’s alright, i know what you mean. And yeah, she bottles it up for a bit, until the second day back at school. Then Iida reminds her that him bottling things up last week got several kids in mortal danger, and she begrudgingly admits that he has a point and tells them about what has been bugging her.”

“And they comfort her?”

“Well, Todoroki also offers to tell off Kaminari because at this point his mention of stain upset both her and iida, but yes, A lot of reassurances.”

You squint. “I feel like shippers.”

“You’re learning! Yes, Todoroki is just a bit behind Iida in terms of popularity shipping with her. and she does basically get shipped A Lot with each girl in her class too, like imagine double to triple the amount with each girl now, and for the minor guys- but yeah. There’s a lottttt of ships. This was basically called ‘todoroki’s introduction into ochako’s harem’ in the fandom.”

Shipping. fandom just can’t escape it.

“So, then she learns about Todoroki’s past? oh, and what about Hosu? Does she- and everyone else- actually think Endeavor saved the three??”

I snort. “Oh, no. Todoroki’s flat ‘yeah my father totally helped us, as you read on the official report’ basically tipped the fandom off that something else had. But nothing confirmed either, you know? Filling in the hosu gap is another trope in fics that is pretty common.”

“Neat.”

“Yep. But yeah Todoroki tells her his backstory a bit after his introduction into her ‘harem’ of friends. It’s really played up more to caution Ochako- its alright for her to want to help her family, and to work for money to do that. But Rei accepted the marriage offer for money for her family too, and it ended up breaking her. Ochako has to accept a balance- she can work to help her family, and its good, but there are some things she cannot morally do to help them, and other things that she shouldn’t do because she has to take care of her own health first.”

“Ohhhh.” You hadn’t quite expected that, but you sorta liked it, now that you thought about it.

I smile. “It is pretty neat, yeah.” I glance at my watch. “Look, i hate to cut you off, but this post is gonna end up thrice the length of Mirio’s and i think tumblr might stop me, so we’re gonna have to do a two-parter.”

“That’s fine.” You are gracious for what you’ve gotten so far, and do have questions that you’re excited to see answered for the rest of the series. “It’s been fun.”

“It has been.” I agree. “Lets take a break, but you can ask me any questions too, before I return for part two.”

<part 2>

[scripttorture]

Hello! I've browsed this blog a bit and came across the idea that torturers often develop mental illness because of their repeated exposure to the violence/trauma of seeing another person in pain, which I'd never considered before. A) Do you believe torturers can therefore be a type of victim as well, depending on the circumstances, and therefore deserving of compassion/therapy? B) Can you point me to more information about this/what kinds of mental illnesses develop in torturers? (1/2)

C) Do you think it's possible for a mass murderer/torturer character to have a realistic, satisfying redemption arc? Do you know any media that's pulled it off believably? Thank you so much for taking the time to read/answer this if you do! And for this excellent resource!

-

The most accessible sources that cover this are O’Mara’s Why Torture Doesn’t Work (good grounding, start with him), Rejali’s Torture and Democracy and the appendices to Fanon’s The Wretched of the Earth where he describes treating two torturers.

 The most current research is about 600 pages of print on demand untranslated French. If you’re fluent in French (I am not and lock down etc has got in the way of me getting this translated) Sironi Comment devient-on tortionnaire?

 Broadly speaking the symptoms appear to be the same as those survivors and witnesses develop.

 And I will go into this in more depth later but keep in mind there is not anywhere near enough research on torturers for us to be entirely sure about most of this. I’m working with the best information we have right now.

 The other two questions are subjective and sort of complicated. By definition a lot of this is going to be my opinion because well that’s what you’re asking for.

 I think we need to be really careful about describing torturers as ‘victims’.

 Yes they’re put in this situation by social structures beyond their control. It is not their fault that they weren’t given training or support in their job. It’s also not their fault that we have this global message that violence is effective or that so many workplaces are unnecessarily pressured/stressful. Most of the time they are drawn in to abusing others because of the social groups and structures within the organisation they join.

 Oversight (with a drive to eradicate torture), funding, training and clear consistent messages about the right way to handle difficult situations would probably prevent most cases of torture.

 This does not change the fact that on an individual level each of them chose to hurt other people.

 Some of them will have made that choice understanding there was a threat to their own safety if they did not. Some of them will have made that choice just because it was what everyone else was doing. Some of them genuinely believe what they did was the ‘right’ decision at the time.

 They still made that choice. And given that we have records of people in similar positions refusing, even when it put them at risk of attack or death, I don’t have a lot of sympathy with the choice torturers made.

 The fact I’m a pacifist factors into this. Consider my biases.

 Torturers typically show a very low understanding of the impact their actions have had on other people.

 They might regret their actions but this is typically framed in a very self-centred way. They usually don’t express more then cursory regard for the victims. They regret it because they’re suffering now, because they have nightmares, because they can’t keep a job. And oh it’s all so unfair.

 I don’t know why this is the case. But it’s a feature Sironi described in interviews about her work. And I’ve seen it over and over again in interviews with torturers.

 Yes torturers suffer. The symptoms they develop are terrible and have a lasting impact on their lives. They typically can’t hold down jobs and struggle to re-integrate into society in any meaningful fashion.

 And yes I believe they should be treated. I believe that anyone with a disease or condition which requires treatment should have access to care and treatment. Whoever they are. Whatever they did.

 I believe that as fellow human beings torturers are entitled to a degree of compassion. When I say that torture and mistreatment are wrong I mean it. My position doesn’t change just because the theoretical victim is a former torturer.

 I do not think that treatment and compassion should be dependant on a person being suitably victimised. For me the only thing it depends on is their need and their humanity. In the literal physical sense of them being a human.

 But we tend to think of ‘victim’ as a simple category that doesn’t overlap with mass murderers.

 And I don’t believe the position of torturers is that simple.

 Especially when so few of them are charged. Torture trials are rare. Convictions are rare. And sentences are short.

 And their victims deserve justice too.

 I feel conflicted about calling torturers ‘victims’ because of this complex reality. And because in fiction we have a tendency to focus on the torturers prioritising their voices over the survivors. I feel like presenting torturers as simple victims of society could risk adding to that.

 For me the focus has always got to be the survivors.

 And I think all of this feeds into how we handle redemption arcs.

 I don’t think that writing redemption arcs for villains, even torturers or mass murderers is ‘wrong’. In fact I think that it can be a really good idea. Showing how toxic the environments these people are in is a good thing. Puncturing the way it’s romanticised is a good thing. And showing a way out of it, even if it’s imagined, is not a bad thing.

 But if we’re going to do that in our stories then I think we need to think about what redemption means and in whose eyes the character is redeemed.

 There’s also a small problem: we don’t really know what recovery for torturers looks like.

 There isn’t enough research on them. Partly because of lack of interest but partly because the low conviction rates means sample sizes are small. We’re talking about a limited number of individuals who are jailed and we can’t really ‘prove’ that individuals who weren’t convicted were torturers. We don’t really know what the long term outcomes are, what treatments might be effective or- Much of anything.

 Studies on torturers are typically based on very small numbers of individuals. (For a long time Fanon’s work was the only example of a mental health professional talking about torturers specifically. He saw two of them.) They are not statistically sound. And a lot of resources were simply journalists or mental health professionals compiling notes on the handful of individuals they talked to.

 Everything I say about torturers is based on things like interviews, a handful of studies that have flaws and anecdotal evidence. Unfortunately as of right now it’s the best we’ve got.

 Personally I don’t think there’s enough research on torture generally. Or enough attempts to collate relevant research from other fields. But that’s a rant for another day.

 Let’s get back to that central question: what does redemption mean?

 I think that it’s pretty easy to write a character changing for the better. You can build up the character’s level of insight into what they’re doing/did over the course of the story. You can show them choosing to stop. You can show them shifting to oppose their former allies.

 But bundled up in the idea of a redemption arc is this: is it enough? And who is it enough for?

 I don’t think survivors should be obliged to forgive former torturers. I also don’t think they’re likely to interact positively.

 I’ve talked about this now and again when asked about the difference between legally defined torture and abuse. Because of the organised and widespread nature of legally defined torture there are usually communities of survivors. And communities that are collectively moving through a recovery process because even those people who weren’t directly attacked are likely to be witnesses, carers and relatives or friends of survivors.

 These things echo down generations.

 Cyprus gained independence from the British in 1960, my father is too young to have any real memory of the violence during the colonial period. But he referenced it in arguments with my English mother during my childhood. There are people throughout China today who won’t buy anything Japanese because of Japanese war crimes there during World War 2. There are people who won’t eat fish from the Black Sea, because the bodies of their ancestors were thrown into that sea during a genocide over a hundred years ago.

 I know that as a both a Greek Cypriot and an English person there are people all over the world who will not want anything to do with me based on what my people have done to theirs. And the fact I wasn’t alive at the time does not really factor into it.

 What I’m trying to illustrate here is that this is much bigger, broader and more complex then individual acts of forgiveness.

 Survivors are a highly varied group of individuals. And each torturer can have thousands or tens of thousands of victims. Expecting each impacted individual, and any witnesses and all their family members and friends, to forgive these people is… let’s say ‘unlikely’.

 So does redemption require forgiveness from the wounded party? Is there any possible action that can atone for the sheer scale of these atrocities?

 If we play a simple number game causing this level of harm can be achieved in months or years, but saving the equivalent number of lives takes decades of skilled, dedicated work. If we look at concepts like wergild or jail as ‘paying your debt to society’ then how do we measure something like torture where the numbers are so big?

 I haven’t seen a piece of fiction seriously tackle these questions. But then again I also haven’t actively looked for that fiction.

 I feel like a lot of fictional redemption arcs judge a character to be sufficiently redeemed based on audience sympathy and the main cast forgiving the character. They don’t typically go on to broaden the scope of the narrative and question whether any one else impacted by the former villain’s actions also sees the character as redeemed.

 One of my stories has a former torturer as a major character and I think they are a sympathetic character in many ways. I think that my readers would empathise with them through a lot of the story (which takes place decades after they stopped torturing).

 They’re a mentor figure to some of the younger cast members. They’ve acted as a protector to them and taught the younger generation a lot about the minority culture they themselves are from. And they do genuinely care about these people that they helped to raise, consistently sacrificing to protect these ‘kids’. (The ‘kids’ are 30s-20s at the time of the story.)

 But they’re also incredibly self centred. They don’t really interact with or have a lot of sympathy for the people they hurt. And while this particular family loves and forgives them society at large views them as a monster. Albeit one that is now leashed.

 Is this a redemption story? Is this character redeemed? I genuinely don’t know. In fact that’s part of my interest in writing the story: trying to work out if there is a point, as this character grows, develops and helps others, when I believe they’ve done ‘enough’.

 I think that redemption means different things for different people. A satisfying redemption story is different for different people. And if we can disagree so strongly about it with much simpler, smaller scale crimes then where does that leave us with torture?

 There isn’t a simple answer or a one-size-fits-all writing solution. There can’t be.

 My approach is to try and use the story to see if I can find an answer. Even if it’s only a limited one. For me the story itself is a forum for exploring human complexity and difficult ethical questions.

 I don’t think we have a good solution for how to deal with these people in reality yet. But I do hold out hope that a good solution is possible. Fiction is an arena where we can safely explore possible solutions.

 I guess in the end I’m not sure if there’s any story or arc that will work for everyone. I don’t think there are any hard rules for writing anything and I don’t think there’s ever a way to please everyone.

 Redemption and forgiveness are complicated topics. I think we do a much better job when we engage with that complexity then when we assume a character just has to do a, b and c in order to achieve it.

 When you consider someone to be truly redeemed is an ethical question that I can’t answer for you. I don’t think I should. The chances are you’ll know when you think your character has done enough.

 Just be open to the fact that it won’t be enough for everyone. Consider reflecting that with the characters, because that can make for truly powerful moments.

 In Midnight’s Children Shiva never forgives Saleem, even though Saleem isn’t responsible for Shiva ‘losing’ his life and family because they were both infants at the time. And damn there are a lot of flaws in the movie adaptation but that scene between them in the jail, when Saleem throws that in Shiva’s face hits hard. It shows us so much about both characters.

 And I think that’s a better way to approach it then trying to figure out if a character is redeemed yet: figuring out how they’ve progressed, how others respond to that progression and why.

 I hope that helps :)

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Disclaimer

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Ciule and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for sitting down with us for a chat.

SS/HG readers might be familiar with your stories “Awkward” and “Headmaster’s Wife”. 

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? Well, I sort of took one of my real names, swirled the letters around in the air with my imaginary wand, and I ended up with this. Can’t begin to imagine where I got the idea from... ;-) Later on, I realized that Ciule is actually a name in Romania. I had no idea, but there are people out there carrying this name for real. I guess I’m #sorrynotsorry?   Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? To be quite frank: No one, really. This is more about the characters I like, than truly identifying with them. I can relate to parts of some of them, but not the whole package. Primarily, I write about Hermione, Voldemort and Severus, and the one common thread between those three is the search for knowledge. That’s a trait I can identify with, but I’m neither an evil bastard, a grumpy protector nor a fretting, intelligent activist. I am, however, a swot. If you had asked who I’d want to be, the answer is clear. I want to be Albus Dumbledore. Though I can’t agree with the things he did, I feel absolutely certain that he’s the one who has the most fun during the books. I want to have that twinkling fun in face of absolute chaos.   Do you have a favourite genre to read (not in fic, just in general)? Fantasy! Definitely fantasy. While growing up, I read ‘everything’ in every genre, and in my twenties, I decided I’d spend my time reading what I loved the most. So, fantasy it is. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? You landed me in an existential crisis right there. I mean, there’s so many to choose from! ‘Wuthering Heights’, I think. It hurts so good. Or maybe ‘Rebecca’, at least, I loved that when I was younger. Or the fairly obscure ‘Lorna Doone.’ When I was a kid, I wanted to be a film director, shooting Lorna Doone into an epic film. Oh well, there might be a theme in this selection of books which reflects in my writing… At what age did you start writing? The creative process has gone on since forever. I’ve told myself thousands of stories in my head, but rarely written anything down. At the age of ten, I had a co-writing project with one of my friends. We created this secret room in her basement, and painstakingly wrote a ‘novel’. It was fun, though the writing ended as it became too cold down in the basement during winter. How did you get into writing fanfiction? In 2009, I became completely obsessed with a TV-show in the last episode. I was watching the entire series, casually enjoying the murder mystery, and in the last episode, the villain said: “I can do the math,” and I was literally gone. That obsession sparked writing my first fanfic stories. Those stories are still on FFnet, but they aren’t any good. *shrugs* What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? Compromise. The world isn’t a perfect place, and will never be. You can, however, make it more to your liking. It may not be perfect, but if you play the cards you are dealt, you might improve something. In Robert Jordan’s “the Wheel of Time”-series, one of the characters goes through a test in a parallel universe of sorts, and she thinks: “The world was not what she wanted, not anywhere near it.” I loved that: trying your best to make things as you want them to be in the face of dangers and difficulties.   And then there’s time travel! I love messing with time, and there are so many great Time-travelling fics. Plus, I have to say I have a certain love for the villains...   What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? Currently, I’m not writing for any other fandoms. I read Star Wars, GoT, POTO and LOTR, and in the past I read Smallville. Though it’s more of a type of ship for me, because I only read Reylo, SanSan, Erik/ Christine, Lex/Lana and ….drum roll… the extremely small and quite oddball ship of Eowyn/ Grìma Wormtongue. If you’ve never tried the last one, go search for the fantastic stories by auri_mynonys. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? One change: duh, that’s easy, isn’t it? Severus lives. Or, maybe Dumbledore acting more rational, not keeping so many secrets. Maybe telling McGonagall that Severus is on the Order’s side… (Interviewer is laughing - ”NOT so easy”) I do write Voldemort wins AUs, but I wouldn’t want canon Voldemort to win. I prefer him to be more sane than in canon. My absolute favourite piece of fanon has to be the Black library. I thought it was canon, but it’s not. This is a thing that really, really should exist in canon! Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? I’m very much inspired by music, and sometimes I listen as I write, but not always. Some fics are heavily inspired by music, such as ‘Absence’ and the last epilogue to ‘The Manipulation of Time and Matter’. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? Definitely ‘Two Steps from Hell,’ by the amazing Ssserpensssotia, but that’s a Volmione. This was such a wild ride, I felt like I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath the entire time. Those twists and turns were so unpredictable and … Well, I’m in awe. The SS/HG fandom is so massive, there’s a plethora of great stories out there. The unfinished ‘Self-Slain Gods on Strange Altars’ is a wonderful story by scumblackentropy, and I love Slytherpoufs stories, especially the wip ‘Ghosts’, but also ‘Angels to Fly’. And then there’s the one that got away - it means, I can’t find it. In this story, Severus watches the thestrals, befriending one of them, I think, but they’re unpredictable and maybe even dangerous. He’s heartbroken, and knows how it all will go down, having bitterly accepted his role. It made me cry. And then there’s the works by Aurette, and lena1987, Subversa, Kittenshift… Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process? I need (strike that: want) to draft the entire story before I post, to have some idea on how it goes. That makes it easier to write, but if it’s a long story, I’m happy as long as I know the general direction. This year, I finished a story that was on an unintended hiatus for two years, and I think part of my problem on getting back into writing it up was a too vague idea for the ending.   What is your writing genre of choice? Uh. I don’t know? Basically, you could argue that I’m a porn writer, or at least it’s fuelled by sexual tension and angst. So, romance or drama, bordering on erotica might be correct. To be frank, I haven’t really thought about categories after I started posting on AO3. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? Hard to say. I might go with “the Manipulation of Time and Matter,” because I think it’s the best plot I’ve created. Besides, I managed to write Hermione having a relationship with both Severus and Voldemort in the same fic. My favourite “clean” SSHG would be the short story ‘Grimmauld’. Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it? In Grimmauld, the house became a character. That was unexpected, and not something I had planned from the beginning. So the lesson would be “don’t start posting until you know what’s going to happen.” Or else, this story might have turned out very much different. I had to throw in a little made-up lore on how you set blood wards on a house too to make it sentient. That proved to be a quite chilling piece of magic.   How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? I love old houses. Exploring abandoned houses, going inside to see what remains of furniture, tapestries and everything is so exciting. (It can also be dangerous, but that’s another matter). Such houses makes me feel .. nostalgic, plus I get those nice little shivers down your spine that is a little like a horror story. So, I wanted to use Grimmauld as a setting to explore that in a fic, to really dig into the aching loneliness of a lost house. The story came very quickly to me, so I guess that helped me.   What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? Big question there. Hmm, I think … it’s hard to say. I’m a reader, really, and I couldn’t easily pick apart any influences. Though I have to say that one of the things I enjoyed when reading ‘Two Steps From Hell’ was the attention to magic. I think it’s important to include spells, rituals and the use of magic in my fics, because that’s what sets it apart from a Muggle AU, for example. That’s an important part of the world-building.   Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? My significant other knows. I didn’t tell him, but he found out for himself, probably by spying on me. When he told me, I almost couldn’t stop laughing, because he… erm, he said he had thought about reenacting a scene in my PWP ‘Twenty Points to Gryffindor’, where Severus shouts the title as he… well… you get the gist. If he had done that, I’d have had a heart attack. I would literally be dead. Instead, I laughed non stop for an hour.   How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? Haha, so true. You spend all those hours in front of your laptop - and if I wasn't motivated by doing it for myself, I can’t even see how I’d force myself through all those hours. It’s fun, though. I do this because I love it.   How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? Very important. I'm on the publishing sites (visible interaction is why I prefer AO3 instead of FFnet) and on Facebook, mainly. I love feedback (as all authors do), and when people form theories or make comments, I get an insight into my own writing. I know how it’s going to pan out, but the audience doesn’t, and how they perceive things might be different from how I think it is. At times, it influences how I go forward, mostly because I need to add things, to explain what’s going on. What is the best advice you've received about writing? Don’t post until you know the ending, and remember: the devil on your left shoulder will be at war with the angel on the right side. Listen to the angel telling you to wait a little longer, and not to the devil chanting: ‘Post, post, post!’ In the end, of course, you’ll give in to the devil, regretting it until you’re done. What do you do when you hit writer's block? Read. Read a lot. And read some more. Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? Certainly. I’m a foodie. For example, everything that Voldemort eats is stuff I love. His food habits are primarily mine, and I love cooking.   Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? It’s a short piece, maybe three or four chapters, with the title ‘Transference’. The point of departure from canon is during their time in the tent at DH. Hermione wakes up in a bed, in a room she doesn’t recognize, having no idea where she is, but she spots a large, moving picture on the drawer:  Feeling panic rising, she stared hard at the moving and smiling pictures, and her heart leapt into her throat, pulse hammering as she recognized herself in the largest picture. A slightly older Hermione, in a white wedding dress, kissing and laughing at someone who simply had to be a much younger Severus Snape. It had to be him: Long black hair, hooked nose, sallow skin - but then he looked so young, carefree and happy - expressions she had never seen on her dour Professor's face. Beside the picture, there were numerous cards, greetings and well-wishings for their wedding - the date an impossible 21 August 1982, and amongst the cards, the largest one stood out, the black ink showing an elegant handwriting: “Dear Hermione and Severus! Best wishes for your wedding, Lord Voldemort.” Any words of encouragement to other writers? Read and write, in that order. Don’t worry about trolls, because when you contribute something that you created, it makes you so much more than people spending their time just raining on anyone’s parade. You brought something new to the world, they’re just reacting to things. If someone accuses you of a self-insert, go ahead and lecture them on the intentional fallacy. I promise, you won’t regret looking it up. ;-)   And please, mind the normal physical limits when you’re writing smut. Unless you give the male a stamina potion or put him under the Imperius, it’s unlikely that his refractory period allows him to come five times in one hour. Realistic smut is so much more sexy, lol. Thanks again for speaking with us Ciule.

[onaperduamedee]

6, 14, 27

Hello! Thank you for asking!

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

Yes, Clara/Missy, although “a pairing that previously annoyed you” would be more accurate. I was not on-board because the power imbalance was too much for me to get behind it and generally I am not a fan of shipping antagonists hell-bent on hurting them with female protagonists who already often draw the short straw when it comes to love interest (I mean Danny was dead and then suffered horribly because of Missy and then he was still dead). 

But then Clara’s arc in season 10 turned out more twisted and dark than anticipated, and the fanartists, vidders and meta writers really made it work for me. I don’t ship it as passionately as River/Eleven for example, but I really enjoy the idea of Clara playing cat and mouse games with Missy, and vice versa. 

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

The Discovery fandom is the one I am the most active in at the moment, but I find it to be difficult. Regularly, the main tag is filled with indirect call-out posts and vagueblogging about ships or theories instead of gifsets, twitter is a bag of vaguely racist and misogynistic posts, or gatekeeping. Most discussions I have read about the show devolve into either this is not Star Trek, which means little to me as I had never really watched Trek before, or any criticism of the show (particularly its handling of lgbtq characters/women/POC) means you are a straight white entitled male geek who doesn’t understand The Art of Storytelling. It doesn’t encourage meta, constructive debate or creation, especially for new fans like me; it just saps the desire and energy to get involved.

I am talking very broadly here, of course; as always with big fandoms, I have found tons of lovely and fun people to be around, but this fandom as a whole is in need of moderating.

27. Least shippable character?

All the characters I don’t really care about. Generally white men that I don’t want anywhere near the characters I like. Quinn in Leverage. Lorca or Saru in Discovery. Coulson in AoS. Leo in Humans. As simple as that, although in varying degrees. Often they eat up valuable screentime from characters I love or just hurt them and get away with it because eh, men, so no I don’t enjoy imagining them in my fanon anymore than necessary, or at all.

Salty ask list

[elizabethrobertajones]

if destiel became canon i hope no destiel fan go around saying 'I TOLD U SO' to other ships and telling other ships their ship is meaningless. :((((

Wow, thanks for blessing my inbox with such a fantastically awful leading statement. What, you want me to say Destiel shippers won’t do that? I mean, there’s a bazillionity of them and a lot of them think Destiel is going canon or should do or at least would take canon as utter vindication of everything they’ve read in the text, which is a quantifiable, serious amount of storytelling and tropes which all directly imply Destiel. If people throw a street party because it happened, that’s their street party, you know? 

I am not very well qualified to talk about wider shipping culture but Destiel fans who see it in canon have a certain axe to grind with the show because of the feeling that it’s textually present and many (myself included) would not have thought to ship it until something in the text flipped them and sheer incredulity about the depth of this story brought them to fandom and interacting with others to analyse and understand the story better. 

I don’t believe other ships including ones involving Cas and Dean elsewhere have anywhere near the same textual level of storytelling and tropes to give them a shadow of what Dean and Cas have. I posted last night about how early Destiel was ship teasing without storytelling intent, and other prominent ships never moved beyond ship teasing and one of them certainly never will and can’t. But for YEARS Destiel has been running on the rails of a narrative between and about the characters which can be taken romantically. If it went canon it would not be the show just randomly picking one of 12 out of a hat and giving it their blessing.

Like, yes I suppose it does make the shippers look entitled if you ship on different means, e.g. chemistry, blurred lines between actor and character, which ones are hot and you think would look good fucking each other, and all the reasons which are great for shipping characters (and I’m not judging - I like ships which are completely implausible, not implied in canon, or are otherwise deeply unsuitable for shipping like Destiel. 3 of my coda fics this season were Mary/Charlie, Mary/Ketch and Cas/Benjamin instead of Destiel, and of those only Mary/Ketch was actually based on canon, and Mary/Charlie was hauling out a dead character who I thought would be great to ship Mary with from the realms of implausibility. And I can understand if you have all or a main ship which is in these sort of brackets instead of rooting for the canon storyline and waiting for it to provide you with all your material, then it’s different and feels different.) 

But I don’t think Destiel shippers enjoying the idea of it going canon (because this is what’s upsetting you RIGHT NOW, not the idea that it POTENTIALLY goes canon and everyone’s a dick, you obviously feel like people enjoying it IN canon are being dicks RIGHT NOW) is offensive to other shippers, or that if you meet us on the grounds of fanon where all the shipping goes on, we’re anything more than more well-fed by canon than other shippers who don’t ship off of canon, because we get a lot of material for our ship from canon. 

But great transformative works always add to the experience, and there’s so many interpretations of the characters in fanon which have moved 1000 miles from canon, in every possible way, which really just end up on what people LIKE to read, if they like D/s or AUs where they’re socially awkward hipsters or tentacle porn or canonverse but huge drastic changes. EVERY ship in every fandom has variations and fanon lives of the characters and if the fandoms are large enough, sub-fandoms within them that specifically enjoy certain dynamics. Canon HELPS but it does not define Destiel shippers in what we write about and how we enjoy the ship, and some people enjoy it only in fanon because they think canon Dean is a dick or they hate what’s happened to Cas since whenever or they just like an old dynamic which is easier to wallow in in increasingly AU settings and end up just reading coffee shop romances where the mains happen to be called Dean and Cas, and some people can probably only get into it if it’s so gritty and canon they can still taste the last episode on their tongue when they read the coda fic. 

As a cumulative experience of what fandom is, Destiel going canon is ONLY vindication, because we can enjoy it in fanon as is, but the issues around the canon debate and representation and what have you are an entirely other thing and on THAT playing field canon is the only vindication.

But in that world, it’s not about other ships at all. I’m sorry, but something like Sastiel is just not part of the argument because in canon it’s not teased, not laid down in the depths of the show’s foundations as important, and it’s not part of the massive metatextual, media and fandom and show dance about the show sucking it up and making Dean bi and Destiel canon because that is only the MEDIUM in which the show needs to deal with the representation problem. If the thing had been swirling around Sam n Cas the entire time, then the debate would be about Sam and Cas. But it’s not. It’s about Dean and Cas. 

Like, I’m sorry if other shippers want in on the idea of ship going canon vindication but on this show there’s such an entrenched, weird battle about Destiel’s place in the narrative, it’s 9 years too late on this one for it to be any other ship in any other way on this show. 

I mean I’d say to other shippers, don’t go out and be a dick to people if it DOES go canon, just enjoy it and try not to be too horrible even if you do get involved in ship wars, like, just take the win and be the bigger person, but that comment isn’t exactly going to do much because I’m not the queen of this ship issuing decrees which seems to be the only positive outcome you’d ever think you could get out of asking me this ridiculous question. Like. What the heck were you expecting me to say? Oh no boo hoo we’re so nice, we’d never do that? It’s a gazillion shippers and a lot of them feel bitter and disenfranchised and they’re not going to consider that they are somehow being rude to other ships, because this is not the side of fandom where you ought to be respectful to people’s fanon practices, but essentially a conflict and we all walked into it where the battle lines were already drawn and it’s this ship and it’s inherently political to ship it if you do so from canon rather than politely excusing yourself to fanon.

If you feel threatened by the ship’s presence in canon because you can see as well as everyone else and are just pretending there’s an equivalence between Destiel and other fanon ships, as if the fanon stage and the canon battle are the same thing, then  you’re just being deliberately obtuse as a troll. I mean, I don’t even fucking fight the canon thing that hard, I am a chill shipper who enjoys watching it unfold in canon and don’t make strong demands of canon, but I still know my ship is politicised on this stage about being canon or not and we have to think abou that all the time and if I HAVE to I will wade in as fight hard that it has full right to go canon and should, and that is NOT disrespecting other ships, it’s working with what I already have in my hands immediately from the moment I went “shit, there really is something to all this lovelorn staring they do at each other, isn’t there?”

Anyway YOUR SHIPS, DESTIEL INCLUDED, ARE SUPER DUPER IMPORTANT IN FANON AS MUCH AS EACH OTHER AND BECAUSE THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO WHOEVER IS SHIPPING THEM. END OF. 

But fanon is fanon and you’re making a ridiculous argument equating “meaning” aka what fans draw from shipping and what makes them feel good about it into creating transformative works about their ship, to the idea of Destiel going canon as if it’s somehow going to do ANYTHING to the fanon.

Like, people with radically different from canon ideas ABOUT DESTIEL can cope with the show consistently not actually being what they really dig but use it just as a jumping off point to their personal interests in what they use fanon for - whether it’s kink or emotional healing or personal empowerment or just for writing and imagination like the fic writers who mostly just enjoy creating stories and like using fanworks rather than original works to hone their craft and feel confident and comfortable with what they’re doing. I mean, fan artists do the same. They might have the faces of the characters but they’re being depicted in a million different ways nothing LIKE the show.

Fanon is not threatened by canon. Even when canon trounces fanon, fanon rolls its eyes and carries on. And mostly fanon is so far beyond the realm of canon that it’s fairly untouchable anyway. The show can’t do much to fuck up my Cas works in a diner and Dean comes and hangs with him there AU because Cas does not work in a diner and Dean is not exactly up to flirting with a dude across a diner counter all day every day while Sam is literally sitting in the corner the entire time rolling his eyes. If Destiel still goes canon, I still hold the means of production here - I get to decide on my own terms if and when one of them snaps and asks the other to marry them. I would have the luxury to put off making them canon in my fanon even though in real canon they already were together. It’s a fearsome power :P 

And I mean, something like Sabriel has enough little connections to canon that its fans can at least show them in the same room interacting and draw from that, but 99.99999999% of that ship is built out of tropes and fun and reading each other’s works and building off of that and creating a ship pretty much out of nowhere for their own amusement and gratification. Canon Destiel’s going to have a hard job doing anything to upset that boat, you know? If you’re offended you WANT to be offended.

Anyway I have now finished my cup of tea so that’s enough grumbling from me but seriously what the heck did you even send me this for? It’s such a petty, miserable view about fandom. If you enjoy your ships you enjoy your fucking ships and nothing can upset that and everyone should leave each others’ fanon fun the hell alone. 

[rxsmyers-a]

Dem rules: Answer the questions asked by the tagger, then list 11 questions and tag 11 people to answer your questions.

Tagged by: @brooklynislandgirl​

1. What have you done to overcome your fears?

Um, it depends on the fear.  I’ve gone whitewater rafting through category 4 rapids in an inflatable kayak.  I’ve hiked along paths barely wide enough for my feett.  I’ve gone back to school despite having failed every previous attempt.  I’ve said yes to an invitation from a friend I haven’t spoken to in nearly 10 years.  So, I mean, in general I’ve just faced my fears head on?  And not even always with a support net in place (if I’d fallen on that hike there was no rope to catch me) which is kind of exhilarating while being completely fucking terrifying.  

So I guess I just face them head on?  Sometimes with help (my parents and my psychiatrist have been super supportive of me going back to school).

2. What attracted you to your fandom in the first place?

I’m sure there are old followers who are getting tired of hearing this story.  But.  Vivian was conceived during a horrifically bad depressive episode (not to mention a medication withdrawal) when basically all I could do was lay on the couch/bed occasionally playing MCU films on repeat.  In general I kept watching Thor and Avengers.  In all truth, Thor’s abs were what first drew me into the MCU?  (I was prepared to be a ‘I never read the comics but the comics are better’ snob before I saw Hemsworth shirtless.)  I guess what drew me in was partly what makes me prefer Marvel to DC - I live near NYC, and the city is life to me, and always has been.  Ever since I was a child NYC was the place where anything could happen.  Adding superheroes to a place I loved just made it so much easier to imagine someone who shared my ‘weaknesses’ as being a part of their universe.

When I discovered there was an MCU RP community on tumbler, the rest was history.

3. Why did you choose a Canon over an OC {Or your OC over a Canon}, and which do you think is harder {if you have both}?

 I have both.  Though, to be honest, I’m closer to my OCs, mostly because I can get into their heads easier.  What does Vivian like to eat?  Anything I fucking say she does.  Can anyone contradict me?  Not at all.  Though, the real reason I chose her over a canon character when I decided to start RPing on tumblr is because no one’s written a canon character with the mix of mental illnesses that I deal with, and Vivian was conceived while I was both massively depressed and suffering medication withdrawal.  What I wanted, while I was suffering and miserable, was someone who felt my pain.  Someone who knew what it felt like to go into withdrawal over medications meant to keep them stable.  Someone who knew what my pain felt like.  And there was no canon character to fit that bill.

That being said, I’ve written canon and OC, and I’m tired of the battle between the two.  I know someone who insists that canons have it ‘easy’.   That somehow there’s no effort to writing them.  And I kind of want to smack them every time they say it, because that attitude is as bullshit as the idea that OCs are inherently easier than canons.

Both muses have their challenges.  OCs will find it harder to find partners.  They’ll be judged by unfair standards, especially if they’re female.  They’ll be called ‘Mary Sues’ for no good reason or ‘Overpowered’ because they share the same traits as a male canon.

But canons have as much shit.  You’e not ‘in character’ enough.  Gods forbid there’s another person who plays your character (or another 20+ if you’re playing a popular character) because then you’ll be constantly compared to all the others.  Unless you distinguish yourself as AU or canon divergent you’ll be criticized for every “out of character” choice you make - and even if you say you’re AU of canon divergent you’ll get the haters who can’t read.  Don’t ship the popular ship for your character?  Good luck finding people to RP with you.  Canons are constantly measured against the source material and, more importantly, against fanon expectations.  

4. If money were no object, what would be the one thing you’d buy to declare your nerd/fandom to the world?

Terry Pratchett’s original manuscripts for every Discworld novel.  They would be my most treasured possessions.  They’d live in an environmentally-controlled bookcase where people were allowed to look but not touch.  (And of course upon my death I’d bequeath them to a museum.)

5. Tesla or Edison? Why?

Tesla because he loved pigeons and Tamora Pierce has given me a love of pigeons after her Beka Cooper books.  Also he wanted to build a death ray and I can get behind that kind of thinking.  

6. If you could trade one family member for a Character of any fandom/media type, who would it be, who would you replace, and why?

You didn’t specify immediate family so I’m going to trade one of the aunts I don’t actually know (my mother’s father had a family in Hungary before he fled to the US.  Don’t feel bad for him, he was fleeing war crimes ahead of the Soviet invasion of Hungary) for, um.....   Sandry.  Sandrilene Fa Toren, of Emelan.  Not only is she kind and giving and rich, she’s a stitch witch who would ensure I had beautifully fitting clothing that would never get dirty or wrinkled ever again.  And for someone of my size, you don’t pass an opportunity like that up.

7. Brand New House…supernatural/otherworldly shenanigans, what do you do?

Call the Ghostbuters?  I hear they  have an all-female crew now.

8. Favourite Non-RP Hobby?

Knitting, usually while playing DnD or watching TV.

9. Where do you want to go on an all expenses paid 3 week holiday?

Europe.  I’ve decided, after 4 years of Vivian having the same dream trip, that I want to go on it myself.  (Said trip being a tour of all the major museums in Europe plus the cities that were the center of major art movements.)

10. Favourite childhood fairytale and why?

Beauty and the Beast.  She likes books.  He gives her a library.  She becomes a princess.  I fail to see the downside of this story.  (My bestie and I have always loved Belle ever since the animated movie came out when we were 11.  She was us.  Weird, a bookworm, brunette... )

11. Do you believe destiny/fate?

Absolutely not.  I think fate is what we make for ourselves.  Do coincidence and happenstance exist?  Yes, but they’re not fate.

New Questions: 1. You can choose three museums in the world to visit, and never visit any others.  Which three do you choose? 2. Everyone is attacking your fandom fave.  What do you say to defend them? 3. What shows/movies are in your ‘to watch’ list? 4. Do you drink alcohol?  What’s your favorite beverage?  If not, what’s your favorite alternative? 5. You’re at a deli.  What do you order to eat? 6. You can only watch one TV show and one movie ever again.  What are your choices? 7. Your fandom favorite is now your new roommate.  What is your new life like? 8. Why did you choose to play the character you do? 9. For the next year, you can go anywhere in the world you want, all expenses paid.  Where do you go, and why? 10. Vivian says you suck.  Why does Vivian say you suck? 11. I’m running out of questions in case you can’t tell.  Um.  What fandom would you like to break into/cross over into, and why?

Tagged: @lucxsnorth, @soldierwithoutaname, @icekingloki, @acreatureofpureirony, @morethanicantell, @sinnhelmingr, @deweydeadcimal,  @hellhuntin,