#i have no idea what this is

[murderedbyhomework]

The first 2ish seconds are why Cheng Yi is absolutely cat coded to me (cat demon character whennnn) lmaooooo

anyways xianxia au with cat demon llh, wolf demon dfs, and demon catcher fang duobing anyone?

link to original video for anyone who can use bilibili: 【原来男生看萌妹是这种感觉！好治愈！-哔哩哔哩】 https://b23.tv/1FZO6iy

[gojoest]

it’s 7:45am and in less than an hour satoru is supposed to leave town for a few days. but for the past 30 mins he’s been dramatically sloth hugging you in bed— chest glued to your back, face hidden in the crook of your neck from behind, and hands tightly circled around your waist. even his legs are carefully wrapped around your lower body. and if you just relax and stop moving around in attempts to break away and leave the bed (it’s all in vain anyway), you can almost feel his heartbeat as your own. it’s calm and slow but quickens like crazy the moment you try to pull away from him. it’s like his whole body is trained to be dramatic when you’re not around.

he inhales the scent of you deep into his lungs one more time, like it’s his last breath or something. says it makes your scent linger in his nostrils and he loves that. it’s like you’re with him even when you’re not.

“i’ll miss you”, he pouts.

“satoru.. it’s just 2 days”, you sigh and roll your eyes.

“that’s a lot of days without you”, he pulls you closer, or tries to at least, but quickly realizes he’s only squishing you in his arms and his grip immediately loosens. a bit but not too much and you still can’t move an inch away.

“we’ll talk and text plenty”

“can’t hug you like that through the phone”

“don’t anyway. you’re suffocating me”

“no. i can only breathe when i hold you like this. deal with it”

“stop stealing my oxygen, idiot. i will die”

“i’ll let you live if you come with me, meanie”

“as if”

[lackadaisicallizard]

Nicknames

“Can you pass me that book?” Regulus points to the text sitting next to James. 

“Are we going to do anything more interesting today?” James’ voice is bordering on whiney as he passes it across the table. 

“I told you I was studying. You were the one that decided to grace me with your ever annoying presence.” He opens the book and starts flipping through the pages. 

“You know you love it,” James’ teasing tone isn’t at all subtle. 

They’ve been playing this game for months now. The game where James flirts overtly and Regulus pretends that he doesn’t flirt back. Where they find excuses to spend time together. Where Regulus lets James interrupt his study session when it’s very clear he has no intention of letting him actually study. 

“Come on!” There’s no reply from the younger boy who would look entirely indifferent if it wasn’t for the small crease between his brows that indicates that he’s not doing a very good job at blocking James out. “Reggie.” 

He looks up then, eyebrows now knitted into a thick line. “No.” 

A smirk. “What?” 

“You are not calling me Reggie.” 

“Why? Sirius does.” 

“Sirius is my brother and incredibly annoying.” 

James’ smirk turns into a grin. “Oh so you don’t find me annoying then?” 

“I told you I did less than thirty seconds ago.” 

“You’re such a bad liar.” 

Regulus rolls his eyes in the way that makes James’ stomach do a little flip and goes back to ‘ignoring’ him. 

James is silent for approximately five seconds. “You can give me a nickname if you’d like.” 

“I’m good, thanks.” 

“Seriously, you can call me whatever you want.” 

“Noted.” 

“You can even call me tonight if you like.” 

That stops him. It also makes him look up and meet James’ eyes. “Really, Potter?” 

James raises his eyebrows, smiling again. “Didn’t like that one?” 

“You’re a walking, cliche.” 

James laughs. “So is that a no to the nickname then?”

A pause. “I’ll think about it.” 

— 

A week later and James walks into the Slytherin common room. 

“Potter, to what do we owe this honour?” Barty asks, not even bothering to get up from where’s he’s laying across Evan’s lap on one of the sofas, spinning his wand between his fingers. 

Pandora is reading cross legged in an armchair and looks up with a warm smile that contrasts her brother’s suspicious one. 

“Hi guys. Have you seen Regulus?” 

“Let him out of your sight for once, huh?” Evan asks with raised eyebrows. 

“Yes. Well, no- I mean. He’s not always-“ 

“Eloquent as ever, I see,” Barty laughs and Pandora shushes him. 

“Oh stop it you two,” she looks at James, “he’s upstairs. Sometimes he needs to escape from these idiots.” 

She shushes them again as they start to argue and they settle back down with a grumble. 

James nods. “Right, well do you think he’d mind if I drop something to him? I accidentally took his quill from the library the other day and I’m not sure I want to find out what happens if he thinks I stole it.” 

Evan shrugs. “He’s your boyfriend, Potter. Do what you want.” 

Everything stops. 

James can hear his heart beating in his ears. 

Pandora’s smile has dropped. “Are you okay James?” 

James takes a deep breath and nods his head, blinking so the room starts moving again. “Yep, all good. I’ll go deliver this quill to my… boyfriend.” 

The word comes out slowly as James gauges their reactions, waiting for one of them to laugh at him, to laugh at their joke. 

Instead they stare at him. “Okay…” Evan says eventually. 

James doesn’t remember walking through the common room or up the stairs. He doesn’t remember knocking on Regulus’ door or opening it to find him sitting cross legged on his bed, book opened in his lap and beautiful eyes wide in surprise at the sudden intrusion. He doesn’t remember anything before the words that fall out of his mouth. 

“Why did Evan just call me your boyfriend?” 

Recognition appears in his eyes, then and his mouth curls up into a knowing smile. “You told me I could call you anything.” 

“I was talking about a nickname, Regulus.” 

“And?” 

James has to stop himself from looking at the camera that’s surely filming him right now. This can’t be an actual conversation he’s having, surely? 

“Boyfriend is not a nickname. It’s a thing.”  He moves closer to Regulus’ bed as he talks, his words faster than usual. “It’s something a person is, it’s… romantic.”

Regulus blinks before putting down his book and getting up off his bed so they’re standing across from each other. “Thank you for defining the word boyfriend, Potter. And for the clarification.” His tone is definitely sarcastic but James has no idea how to respond.

“You’re welcome,” is what comes out. James kicks himself for it. 

“So are you saying you don't want me to call you that any more?” Regulus’ facial expression seems neutral but there’s a hint of something else there. 

“No,” the word escapes before he even realises he’s said it. “I mean yes. I mean-“ he stops and takes a breath before meeting Regulus’ eyes. They’re softer than usual. “Are you sure?” 

Regulus hums before he smiles and takes a step forward, reaching out to place his hand on James’ cheek and momentarily causing him to stop breathing. “It suits you, you know? Your new nickname, I mean.” 

James lets out a noise that sounds startlingly close to impatience before he finds himself leaning in, and then Regulus’ lips are on his and his hands are in his hair and he forgets any name he’s ever had for a second, a minute, an hour, an indeterminate amount of time before they pull apart again. 

He’s smiling now as his heart beats quickly in his chest, and as the younger boy smiles right back James only has one question:

“So can I call you Reggie now?” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Oh,” James pouts and Regulus rolls his eyes before reaching down to take his hand, lacing their fingers together. 

“I guess you’ll just have to settle for boyfriend.” 

James’ eyes move from their hands to Regulus’ face. “Oh.” His voice is softer now, light. “I think I can make that work.” 

[slowandsteddie]

Eddie: “hey, Steve. When did you first know you were gay?”

Steve: “ever since I first met you.”

Eddie: “wait what. No. This wasn’t supposed to be wholesome and make me cry. I was expecting something like ‘well, have you seen Tom Cruise?’ But not this.”

Steve: “well, have you seen you? Damn. Even pretty with tears running down your face.”

They then proceed to have the sex and Eddie has more than tears on his face and neck when they are done ❤️

[andypantsx3]

A few months into your relationship, Shouto catches on to your weird behavior around his apartment.

“I don’t want to ruin anything,” you finally admit when he notes his observation—about how you tiptoe around his living room of designer furnishings, how you never seem to settle comfortably into his couch, how you carry his glassware with all the pomp and ceremony of an Olympic torch.

“They are just things. This is a home,” Shouto says, like that at all negates the fact that you could break a single one of his salad bowls and spend the rest of your life repaying the debt.

“Hella expensive things in a very nice home,” you reply. “I am not falling asleep and accidentally drooling onto your ten bajillion dollar couch, Shouto.”

Only the tiniest of creases between his brows tell you he’s displeased. “I would like you to be comfortable here. I do mean that they are just things.”

You shake your head. Shouto can be as unfussed as he wants, on his pro hero salary with his fat inheritance slapped on top like a dollop of cream on life’s richest slice of pie. But you were raised in a hand-me-down home, furniture and housewares either inherited or thrifted from generations past, and you are not about to play any kind of game that would leave his couch as worn down as your family’s ancient, squashy sofa with the tears hidden on the undersides of the cushions.

“I’m good, Sho,” you say reassuringly. “I’m just going to take my best care of your things.” You pat his couch ever so lightly for emphasis, so gently it almost doesn’t make a sound.

Shouto watches you for a long moment. His eyes pick over you carefully, and he says nothing, until finally his expression shifts. 

You watch with suspicion as his face suddenly goes meticulously blank, and you realize you know that look. It’s the perfectly unreadable poker face that almost always precedes peak little shit behavior.

“Whatever thought you are having is a million percent no from me,” you say quickly, but Shouto’s hand is already closing over your thigh, tugging you closer to him across the luxurious fabric of the very couch you have tried never to crease.

“Shouto, do not fuck with this couch,” you tell him as the material of your pants makes a fwip across the sofa fabric. Shouto arches a perfect brow at you.

“If you will not believe me that I do not care about the state of this couch,” he pronounces evenly, “then I will just have to show you.”

Before you can even demand an explanation, he’s rearranging you to his liking, stretching out over you and pressing you down into the sofa with intent. 

Then it dawns on you exactly what he’s about to do.

“Wait, Sho—the bedroom—” you garble out, as your heart rate picks up into double time under his anchoring weight.

Shouto lowers his face to yours, mismatched eyes glittering like gemstones in the low light. “We’ll get there love,” he says, his low, soft tone shivering right up your spine. “But first, we’ll start here.”

His gaze grows heavier with promise, and a long-fingered hand skims up the side of your shirt. Your breathing stills. 

“I’m going to have you over every single surface in this apartment,” he says. “Again and again, love. Until you understand that there is only one thing in this house that I consider priceless.”

His mouth presses to yours, softly, as he shifts into the cradle of your thighs.

“And that,” he says against your mouth, sounding satisfied at the little shivery exhale this draws out of you, “that one, single priceless thing...is you.”

[teamblck]

COD characters as silly little stuffed animals i have found online

warning!! this is stupid!!

Price-

Soap-

Gaz-

Ghost-

Farah-

Alex-

Alejandro-

König-

[via-rant]

Jason: Whens your birthday?

Leo: Oh. I don't know.

Percy: You don't know?

Leo: Yeah. I don't know. As in, I don't remember.

Piper: Who doesn't remember their birthday?

Leo: Lots of people.

Annabeth: You've met lots of people who don't know their birthday?

Leo: Yeah. Orphanages don't really care for that kind of stuff. So many kids, we'd have a party every other week.

Frank: What about Foster Homes?

Leo: Please. If they did throw a party it wouldn't be for us. They'd just use it as an excuse to have one and get drunk.

Hazel: Aren't they supposed to take care of you?

Leo: 'Supposed to' yeah. The only reason the shitstains get you for is the money so they can buy more booze to throw at you and no one will believe you until you almost die or another kid dies. Anyway-

------

I know it's OOC but aw well. Here. This is such a random thought.

[satoandspice]

Sukuna has two dicks, one thicker than the other, which you don't understand why until it starts expanding inside of you, forcing in what you realize in horror to be eggs. It lasts forever, your stomach distending, and nausea worsening as the space inside you fills up more and more. Already exhausted, you can't get away from him, having been fucked and reduced to a drooling, sobbing mess. It's hard to breathe, being this full, and you wheeze when he pulls you off his cock, finally done stretching you out. Sagging in his arms, he slides you right back down on his other dick, and starts thrusting. The force would throw you off his lap, but his nails pierce your skin and hold you in place. What parts of you not held down flail around in a dizzying, embarrassing frenzy. This time when he cums so much it spills over and runs from between your thighs to your ankles you thank him for doing so, more relieved to be done than terrified about what has happened.

[itslikeaspaceship]

When Ellie found out that kids used to go to camp every summer, it was a bit of a shock to her system.

She couldn’t even begin to rationalize why they would want to leave home for weeks at a time without ever seeing their parents. The mere thought of being gone from Joel for more then a day made her want to vomit, nonetheless an entire week.

Sure they were “codependent” but she really didn’t give a shit, that was her Joel and Joel would never make her-

“WHAT?!”

Joel sighed, fingers pressing down on the bridge of his nose. “Ellie.”

“No, absolutely not.” Exasperated, she tossed down her backpack, standing frozen at the open door as she stared at Joel.

He’d been informed earlier today that each kid was going to have to choose a day camp to do over the summer. It would just be a couple hours during the day at some shop in the commune, and it was only for three weeks. They were supposed to be “educational” and “fun”, but Joel figured it was just a way for parents to get their kids off their back, or really parents off the kids back. However Ellie was not like most kids here in Jackson, and so the idea of being anywhere without Joel when she was promised every day with him was to much to handle.

“Joel I am not doing camp.”

“Ellie,” He sighed again.

“No you can’t make me.” She slammed the door shut, shoving her way past Joel and going up the stairs.

“Ellie baby, it’s only for three weeks. And Maria said you can even do it at the stables.” She still didn’t seem interested, but Joel pursued. She deserved the ability to do kid things with other kids, even if that meant she learned to ride and tack up a horse without him.

“No Joel, I don’t want to, please.” She sat down at her window seat, pulling off her flannel and tossing it to the side in what looked like a bout of anger.

And Joel would be the first to admit, he was confused. “Why you fightin me so hard on this? You love the stables, you love Shimmer. I thought you’d like the idea of getting to ride everyday.” He watched her take in a deep breath as she opened her mouth to speak but closed it when tears threatened to spill over.

She wasn’t gonna cry, she didn’t need to cry.

“Baby what’s wrong?”

But Joel’s voice was always so gentle, and he was always so patient, and she just needed him to know that she couldn’t bear going so long without hearing it. “I don’t, ugh-” She went quiet again as tears completely coated her cheeks now. She wasn’t sure when that happened but she felt embarrassed it did.

“Ellie it’s just three weeks, it’s not like I’m just gonna disappear.”

“I know but, it’s three weeks without you.”

Joel’s eyebrows furrowed, fingers gripping the door handle in utter confusion. “Ellie what-” Suddenly it all clicked, and he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“Oh Ellie no, no.” He laughed, walking over and squatting down in front of her. His knees protested every movement but he really didn’t care.

“Why are you laughing Joel, it’s not funny?!” She cried, head falling down on his shoulder.

“Baby,” He said, grabbing her hands. “It’s day camp.”

“Ugh what the fuck is day camp?!” She asked, another sob breaking through. But he couldn’t help but to laugh some more.

“It means you’re only gonna be gone during the day, almost like school. Except instead you’re gonna be down at the stables, learning about all the things they do down there.”

Cries quickly turned to sniffles as she lifted her head up, cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. “Oh.”

“Did you really think I was just gonna ship you off for three weeks? Without even seeing you?”

“Well I-”

Joel rolled his eyes, running his thumbs across her knuckles as he watched her. “Ellie I would never, okay. You understand me?”

“Mmhm.”

“Ellie?”

“Yes,” She said, smiling, “I understand.”

“Good.” He placed a kiss to her forehead as he stood up, taking a seat beside her.

They were silent for a moment, listening to the summer sounds through the cracked window. But something about Ellie’s tense shoulders told him she still wasn’t sure about this whole camp thing. “Hey, if you want, I can come eat lunch with you. Just maybe until you get comfortable enough to do it by yourself. Or with Dina, I think she’s supposed to be doing the stables to.” He watched her face flush again, fingers nervously picking at the fabric of the seat.

“Oh um, really?”

“Mmhm.” He mumbled, running a hand across her head. “You like her huh.”

Ellie went fire truck red, smacking Joel’s arm as she turned away. “No! Shutup, she’s just, she’s cool I guess, I don’t-”

“Right okay, cool. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Whatever.” Ellie said, laying her head on his shoulder. He placed a kiss to her hair, then another to her temple before allowing himself to relax against her.

“I want you to know kiddo, I was serious about earlier. I’m not ever going anywhere, ever.”

“You promise?” She whispered, arms wrapping around one of his.

“I promise baby girl. To infinity and beyond.”

“Infinity and beyond.” She repeated. “I like that.”

[very-feral-lesbian]

as eddie had found out that fateful night in the middle of the lake, steve harrington was a hairy man.

looking back now, it added up. i mean, the man was known for his hair, it was his fucking calling card for christs sake. but when that shirt came off that first time, every fiber in eddie body lit on fire and he was done for, right then and there.

pre-steve, he was very indifferent towards body hair. didn't think or it as either a positive or negative, could live with or without it.

then steve, well he kinda fucked up eddies whole trajectory generally but the chest hair, it did things to him.

the kids loved to make fun of it, because according to them, steve previously would shave his chest. self-conscious of what the girls he was trying to court would say. and per what steve had told him one late night a few months into their relationship, the chest hair had made him feel a little too much like his father.

regardless, the hair was a permanent fixture now. and eddie was determined to make sure of it.

during the summers when the group was enjoying the indiana sun, they tended to spend a lot of time at the lake behind eddie and steve's apartment. eddie wasn't as much of a fan of the sun as the rest of them, tending to hang back and enjoy everyone's presence (aka steve's chest) from afar.

there were multiple occasions where dustin or max or hell any of the kids would come up and pour water over his head, "stop being so horny, there are children around."

his favorite part though was when they were in bed and eddie just fully flopped on steve, burying his face in his chest.

steve was confused the first time, "whats' going on eds, you okay?"

eddie just sighed and dug deeper into his chest, fingers grazing the hair there, "just enjoying the forest."

[shadowspromise]

Touya walks into the room. 

“Grilled cheese.” 

You look at him. “Grilled cheese?” you ask.

“I want… grilled cheese,” he stands there, arms to his side, still as a statue.

“Okay. I will make you grilled cheese,” you answer. 

“Grillmd… chees…” he mumbles as he walks away. 

[noajakah236482]

Percabeth Texts~

Percy: I want you to focus on the first 3 words of this message

Annabeth: ...

Annabeth: Okay, anyways i need your help

Percy: I've got 1ply, 2ply but all I want is your re-ply to that, PLEASE

Annabeth: Fine, it was smooth, now I need your help

Percy: Yeah, wise girl? What'd you need?

Annabeth: My doctor said I'm lacking Vitamin-U

Percy: ?

Percy: Ohh

Percy: OHH

Percy: Fine you win

Annabeth: Of course i did. Dw you had me squealing too.

Annabeth: Oops BYE-

Percy: WAIT

Percy: WAIT REALLY TELL ME

Percy: CMON DON'T LEAVE ME ON READ! IM COMING OVER

[cheeseceli]

The urge to write academic rivals to lovers with lee know is STRONG

Like imagine the smirk he'd have anytime he got a better grade than yours (and secretly be happy when you have the highest score), or how he'd pretend to dispise you but would love to have debates with you because you're so smart?? And he hangs out with because you're the only one who can keep up with him, and the only feeling he has towards you is admiration, nothing more ofc

"Sadly, you're the only who who has more than one braincell in this room so I have to stick with you" that's the only reason to why he is always talking to you, 100% not because he is in love

[fellthemarvelous]

What if we get to Good Omens 3 and realize that Good Omens 2 just deadass happened in the middle of the Second Coming and everyone has been waiting for Aziraphale and Crowley to catch up with the program?

And just when they think they might actually be getting somewhere, Az and Crowley hurt each others' feelings and go their separate ways while everyone is facepalming in the background because these two lovesick dumbasses still aren't paying attention.

The Them and Adam are just standing there pacing or tapping and Anathema and Newt and Madame Tracy and Shadwell are all like "well someone is going to have to personally drag them over here kicking and screaming and it's not going to be me" and Jesus is like "can someone please explain the zombies to me?!?" 😱

[slasherdreamerbored]

Inspired by this interview bit of Emily Blunt & John Krasinski

[steveshairychest]

Steve hands his father's credit card, the one he's supposed to use to pay the bills for the house, to Eddie and kisses him on the cheek. "Buy yourself something nice, sweetheart." And then he shoos his very excited boyfriend off to the games store where he buys all the expensive dnd stuff he's been eyeing off for months.

Eddie comes out of the shop looking like a child on Christmas as he struggles to carry the two bags full of nerdy shit Steve's no doubt going to get a lesson on in the car. "Have fun?"

"Mhm. Are you sure this was ok? I spent like $200." Eddie whispers the amount like he's afraid Steve's going to get angry. Steve's anything but angry. His father called him that morning to tell him they're not coming back. Ever. He told Steve to give him back his credit card and to do whatever he wants with the house, sell it, demolish it, renovate it. They don't care. They've put enough money in his acc to last him multiple lifetimes as a way to buy his love and told him to come visit sometimes.

He's a little upset. Only a little. He wants to spend as much of his father's money as possible before his assistant comes to pick it up. He probably won't even notice the tiny dent in his money, but Steve doesn't care. He doesn't have the courage to start a fight with his dad, Mr Harrington is a scary man, so this is the next best thing.

"Is it ok if we get ice cream?" Eddie asks as Steve takes one of the bags from him so that they can hold hands.

"Of course it is. I'd buy you the whole damn shop if you asked." He could tell his dad he's going into the ice cream business.

Eddie laughs and swings their joined hands as they walk. "I'm OK with just two scoops of choc mint ice cream today."