#i have noticed a lot of posts complaining about not being able to find fluff or angst beyond smut

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

"Why is everything smut 😭 why can't I just find fluff fics or angst fics"

1) smut is fun

2) as usual, if you are having difficulty 'finding' the kind of fics you enjoy reading, write them yourself

3) smut can be an amazing emotional character study and it's not just about sexual titillation or being horny constantly

4) even if it is just about being horny, people deserve to have fun with it

5) I have noticed that my pure angst fics do not do as well as my smut fics, so I do not write them as often (more often if I want to write angst, I write smut with angsty undertones)

[centipede-gutzz]

🍞 KENTO NANAMI RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

A/N: ah...i love this man so much. sorry for not posting, haven't been in the writing mood too much. can you tell that this was starting to become more like a fic rather than a simple headcanon list ?

WARNINGS: N/A

TYPE: headcanons, gn reader, platonic/romantic, fluff

Companionship was always hard to achieve in your life. Ever since you were little, you were always seeing creatures roaming around that no one else seemed to notice. You've tried countless times to point them out; countless drawings of the horrid things you had to witness. Yet, everyone just saw you as an odd child with a wild imagination.

You've learned to ignore them as you grew older, perhaps it was for the best. Friends were still never easy; how is it possible to look someone in the eye when they have something clinging to their body as they complain about the constant feeling of dread and body pain?

An office job was the best thing you could settle for. Something to keep you busy from the amount of curses you see more and more each day. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, seeing how many times you had to stay late at night to finish multiple assignments that were given to you by your boss or others because you always said yes to help out.

Despite everything, there was always one person to stand out to you in your job. Never asking you to help, always in his own space, and the only other person to stay after work hours. Kento Nanami, you've learned the name after seeing some interactions with him and the other coworkers.

You don't know what made him so interesting to you. Perhaps because he was so similar to you in multiple ways, and in another that you don't know yet. For the first time in who knows how long, you decide to pursue some sort of acquaintance with someone else, throwing out the fears of being avoided that plagued you for years.

PLATONIC

☆- you honestly didn't know how to converse with him as you start to gather up some courage. simple "good mornings" will have to do for now. you give a small nod to him and muster up a kind smile (that seems more tired than you'd like it to be).

☆- he seems to warm up to it, eventually starting to say good morning back to you and the occasional wave.

☆- nanami seemed to be a bit more comfortable with small talk, asking you about your day and if things have been treating you well. you both know the answer to that, but it still means a lot to you that he asks about your wellbeing.

☆- one day, you gave him an extra sandwich you bought for lunch. he didn't have anything for once, and you wanted him to eat to get more energy for the day. he refused at first, saying that it was your own but you only insisted he take it. he eventually did, thanking you with a small smile on his face (you knew he was capable of smiling, but it still felt like some rare occurrence).

☆- he started to help you with more late work, the constant workload on your shoulders easing up as time went by. both of you got into a little rhythm of helping each other out with whatever else needed to be done.

☆- you both finally had some time to bond outside of work, going to some food places to try out new things that both of you wanted the other to try. food always seemed to be a topic each day from then on.

☆- it was a normal day at work, lunch break was taking place as you and nanami eat some leftovers that he made from dinner (a recipe that he wanted to try and offered to make you some). a curse popped up on your shoulder, making you jump and swat away at it.

☆- nanami could only look at you in surprise, asking you if you were able to see the curse as well. your eyes widen as you quietly nod, explaining how you were never able to find someone like you and were unable to get rid of them no matter how hard you tried.

☆- he stayed silent for a moment before swiping his hand in front of the curse, making it disappear with a small shriek. you rub your shoulder and look at him in amazement, expressing your thanks.

☆- a lot is to be shared after this moment. you both share each other's personal experience with curses, with his being more informed and in depth with people he's lost and the world he left behind.

☆- "you don't to seem to be faring any better here too," you tell him. he sighs, agreeing with a small, tired smile.

☆- despite his work troubles, you were there to make things more better for him. he enjoys your company and wishes for it to stay that way. "as selfish as that may seem," he says with a sheepish laugh.

☆- you assure him that it's not selfish to want companionship, since it's something you've been wanting your whole life. he's someone who's become prominent in your lonely life now, and you hope that he sticks around.

ROMANTIC

☆- a more deeper relationship is something that you would have to ask for. nanami is unsure about how you feel and gives you that choice to pursue something more.

☆- if you don't say anything or wish for things to stay the same, he quietly accepts the friendship you both have. if you do feel the same...he wouldn't mind a simple confession. or anything that just feels like something you would do.

☆- it could be a normal day at work or lunch, with the addition of asking him if he wants the relationship to be something more. perhaps you treat him out to a nice restaurant that he's been eyeing lately and pop the question there. whatever you decide, he hopes that you don't notice the extreme giddiness he feels behind the warm smile he gives you as he accepts.

☆- not much else changed once you two got together, just add more romantic gestures and inviting you to dinner at his place.

☆- he's not much of a PDA person...everything is indoors. he'll hold your hand or keep you close to him in crowded places.

☆- nanami remembers EVERYTHING that you like and dislike, especially when it comes to food. you would think he has it all written down somewhere, but it's all just mental notes. and god, his heart just flutters if you do the same for him.

☆- it's takes a good bit before you both share a kiss. he took you back home late at night after a nice outing, leaving a small kiss on your lips. it's a reoccurring topic, your flushed face always being one of the things he will never forget (to your embarrassment).

☆- when he decides to return to his roots as a jujutsu sorcerer, he's REALLY worried about you being somewhat involved of having to experience that same loss he did back then.

☆- you have to assure him that he's strong and won't let anything kill him that easily. no matter how he dies, he won't go down without taking something down with him.

☆- it's a steady start back, but it's not long until you meet some of nanami's old "friends". gojo seems to be the one who pisses him off the most.

☆- he's all around nanami, asking questions about you and "how did you manage to bag such a cutie with an attitude like yours?" his voice is teasing and nanami looks like he wants to quit already.

☆- you both are often visiting each other's homes. he comes over for dinner and tells you about his day (possibly leaving out a few gorey details). he never fails to notice that lovestruck look in your eyes whenever you listen to him talk.

☆- dinner ends up being a little movie date on your couch, ending up with either one of you falling asleep on the other. you smile in your sleep whenever he kisses you on the forehead and whispers sweet words to you.

[bonny-kookoo]

Yoongi

𝓣𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓮. | Homesick

He's not sure what's worse- the fact that he now knows what's wrong, or the fact that he now knows he can't do anything to help you.

Tags/Warnings: Spin off, Doctor!Yoongi, Cat Hybrid!Reader, mentions of hospitals, Mentions of a coma, major angst, slight fluff?, a lot of hurt, it's your daily dose of angst you masochists

Length: Drabble

There is no taglist for this fic

-> Masterlist

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There's not much Yoongi truly regrets. After all, he's a firm believer that even the bad things in life happen for a reason- it's all somewhat connected. It all leads you to the next step in life.

But if that's the case, then why did the world gift him you, just to have you taken away like this?

He knows it's only a matter of time until your body gives up. It's already happening, after all- your breathing has become less regulated, blood pressure steadily declining. He knows it's unrealistic to think that you'll forever stay in this state. You won't.

Even if you wake up now, you won't be the same. You'll probably have to fight the aftereffects and impact on your brain for months if not years. And that's a very optimistic prognosis.

The more realistic one would be to assume that you'll be a case of permanent full on care. If you ever wake up.

He dreads the question soon to be asked. What does he want to do?

Can he let you go?

In times like these, when being at home makes him homesick to the point of nausea, he tends to visit you, no matter how late. It's how he finds himself at your bedside again, steady tune of your bpm monitor reassuring him that for now, you're still here.

No matter how much of you.

Watching you sleep like this makes it hard to really comprehend that there's not much to do here at all. There's nothing he can do to help you recover because, at the end of the day, the diagnosis is still being studied.

He can't help. He can only hope.

Holding your hand has begun to feel odd now. Like a tune not played quite right, it feels off to just cling to your body like this, when your soul might've very well already left you long ago. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do.." he mumbles to himself, mostly.

Or maybe he's just at the end of his hope.

Maybe he's the one losing this battle now.

"I know I have to let you go, but I don't want to." He shakes his head. "I didn't even get to experience anything with you." He sighs to himself. "Fuck.." the doctor wipes his face with his free hand.

He sighs again, and gets up to leave-

But your fingers cling to his own, holding a lot more tightly than usual. Maybe a simple muscle memory response- nothing to be excited about. He's learned to keep those feelings in check by now, after having been disappointed time and time again.

So he gently pulls your fingers away from his hand.

And you.. whine?

Your bpm is rising a little, machine complaining with a chime about the change in tempo, and he looks at you a bit more focused, noticing the way your breathing doesn't seem as calm as it usually is.

"No, you're not-!" He curses, turning the lights of the room back on. "You're not fucking taking her from me yet-!" He argues to no one.

When your fingers wrap around his wrist where his hand is pushing down on the hospital bed to gain better leverage to look at your monitor.

"No way.." he breathes out, leaning closer to you as he watches the tears run down your cheeks. It's not new that you're able to cry- you've randomly done that in the past, but during post comatose wakefulness, that's not unusual.

But he hopes. He wants to hope.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asks. "Is that it? Come on, you know how it works, give me an answer-" he begs in a whispered tone,

But nothing happens.

"God dammit what am I supposed to do?!" He breaks down, falling back into the chair next to your bed, finally breaking as he cries into the sheets.

And your hand is suddenly moving around again, as if searching for something, before it settles in his hair, on his head.

And as he lifts it to look at you, your eyes are open. But not just open- because that's what they've done for weeks now, time and time again, hurting him with every empty gaze.

Because this time, albeit a bit tearful-

They're not just open.

They're looking at him.

You're looking at him.

You're back.

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[bambirex]

Tell It With Your Heart

Pairing: Geraskier

Characters: Jaskier/Dandelion, Geralt of Rivia

Additional tags: fluff, tooth-rotting fluff, acts of kindness, soft Geralt of Rivia, soft Jaskier/Dandelion, getting together, domestic fluff, friends to lovers

Word count: 2,504

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: While Jaskier always says what's on his mind, Geralt works a little differently. That doesn't mean he cannot tell Jaskier how he feels - he just does that without words.

Author's notes: for @wren-of-the-woods!! Wren, dear, we've talked so much about the different love languages the Witcher characters would have, and we both agreed Geralt's would be acts of service, so I had to gift this to you! I hope you'll like it, thank you so much for brainstorming with me ❤️

It's really nice finally being back with some fluff! There's a scene that might be familiar to some as it's directly taken from the Spirit cartoon hehe

Read on Ao3

**

Geralt wasn't a man of many words, Jaskier was well aware of that. For the first few months that they've spent traveling together, Jaskier was mostly met with grunts and an awful lot of "hm"s, and if Geralt has graced him with a sentence consisting of more than three words, Jaskier was practically over the moon.

It wasn't because he was dumb as many people believed witchers to be: Geralt was very intelligent, he was just simply very closed-off. He had many walls pulled up around his heart, protecting him from the harshness of the world. Armor on his body and on his soul, Jaskier mused about it one day.

It took a while for Jaskier to understand Geralt. The bard was very talkative, has been that way all his life: he's talked his way out of the worst situations, has seduced his lovers with his kind words, and has made himself a name with his poetry. For him, it was hard to imagine there were ways to talk without using words, until he met Geralt.

That was why he needed some time to put the pieces together after the first time Geralt has returned with two rabbits dangling over his shoulders one day.

It was a couple of months after Jaskier's joined Geralt on the path. Money was scarce, and so the food was too, and Jaskier may have complained a little about being hungry. Geralt has growled at him that if he wanted to eat, he was more than welcome to go and find food for himself. Jaskier decided it was wiser if he didn't do that on his own.

When Geralt told him to stay in one place while he disappeared into the woods, Jaskier was sure Geralt has left him behind. He cursed himself for being so stupid to whine about being hungry while he knew right well that Geralt was working his ass off trying to gather enough for the both of them. Now he really did it, he annoyed Geralt to the point that he wouldn't come back for him.

But Geralt returned, with one tiny, scrawny rabbit and a large, fat one. He did not say a single word, he just sat down on a tree trunk and started skinning them. Jaskier stood there confused, anxiously rubbing his fingers together while Geralt got to cooking the meat.

Once he was done, he handed Jaskier the much bigger rabbit. It smelled deliciously, and Jaskier noticed that Geralt cooked his rabbit so much better than his own, Jaskier's meat being pink and juicy, while Geralt's looking bony and half raw.

"We can share mine, I won't be able to eat all of this anyway," Jaskier offered. Geralt shook his head, not even looking up as he started tearing at his own food.

"You need it more than me," was all he said. Jaskier tried a couple more times, but Geralt refused his offer.

"Thank you," Jaskier said softly when they were done eating. His stomach was full, and he felt warm and comfortable. Maybe it was the post-lunch daze that made him see things that weren't there, but it seemed like Geralt looked satisfied as he watched Jaskier rest a hand on his full belly.

*

The night was cold, possibly the coldest all winter. They were refused from every single inn. Things seemed more hopeless than ever, and the night was slowly creeping up on them. Jaskier pulled his furs tighter around his body, his teeth chattering loudly as they wandered around, trying to find a place to rest.

They eventually found a tiny stable. It was an old, ragged building, not very warm and the hay was dusty and dry, but it was better than nothing.

Geralt placed both their blankets over the hay, then gestured at Jaskier to lie down on them. Jaskier raised an eyebrow in question.

"What about you?"

"Lie down, Jaskier."

Jaskier did, but his confusion remained as Geralt took his own fur off and laid it over him.

"Geralt, you're going to be cold," Jaskier protested. He tried to hand the fur back, but Geralt threw it back at him.

"Burrow in," Geralt said. He leaned down and wrapped the furs around Jaskier as tight as he could, cocooning him until he was as warm as he could be. "It's only going to get colder. I'll be okay."

"Geralt," Jaskier sighed, "please. I don't want you to freeze to death. At least... come a little closer, then?"

Jaskier could swear he saw a hint of a blush on Geralt's cheeks. The witcher hesitated for a moment before he lay next to Jaskier, shifting close enough that their sides touched.

It was the best sleep Jaskier has gotten in weeks. He felt safe and warm against Geralt's side, who seemed to have shifted even closer to him during the night. Jaskier didn't mind, not even a little bit.

*

"Oh, this is really pretty," Jaskier sighed dreamily, "very lovely."

"It would look marvelous on you," the vendor mused as he held up the necklace for Jaskier. The thin golden chain glimmered in the candlelight. The medallion, forming a tiny bird, dangled off the vendor's hand.

"That's so kind of you to say, but it's a bit expensive," Jaskier sighed. He fell in love with that necklace the second he's laid his eyes on it, but they weren't here to buy jewelry with the small amount of coins they had. Geralt was browsing the shelves for the necessary supplies they needed for the path. He had his back to Jaskier, but Jaskier was sure he was rolling his eyes over Jaskier's ridiculous love for pretty jewelry.

Jaskier tried not to show his disappointment when they left the shop. He stared down at his boots and bit his lip, imagining how that necklace would have looked on him.

They barely even made a few meters when Geralt abruptly turned around.

"I forgot something," he said, all but storming back in the shop.

He was back soon, holding a tiny bag in his hand. Jaskier eyed it curiously.

"What is it? Something for Roach?"

Geralt cleared his throat a little awkwardly before he squeezed out a "no". Then, he gave the bag to Jaskier.

"It's mine?"

"It's yours."

"Well, that should be interesting," Jaskier chuckled softly as he peeled the bag open. He let out a loud gasp when he saw what was inside.

"Geralt..." Jaskier whispered, his throat constricting around the words. "You shouldn't have..."

"I know you liked it," Geralt replied. He didn't look at Jaskier, instead stared at a small rock on the ground. He kicked it, watching it roll away as if it was the most interesting thing he has ever seen. "So, there."

Jaskier suddenly didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to run back to the shop and give it back, he wanted to berate Geralt for spending so much on something so useless, but he also wanted to sob and throw himself into Geralt's arms.

He did the latter, clutching Geralt so hard that the witcher let out a surprised huff. Jaskier buried his face in Geralt's neck, his eyes welling up with tears.

"I don't know why you're being so kind to me," Jaskier whispered, "you shouldn't have to do all this for me."

"I should," Geralt said. He brought up a hand and placed it onto Jaskier's back, a slightly awkward but very endearing attempt at a hug. "You're welcome."

*

Jaskier sat in the grass, scribbling in his notebook while Geralt sat next to him, working on his bestiary. It was a nice and comfortable way to spend time together: just being close to each other, both working on their own thing while not having to be alone. As years have passed, Jaskier has learned to appreciate these moments. He used to think of them as boring, awkward silence, but now he understood just how precious it was to be together like this.

He glanced over at Geralt. The witcher was deeply lost in his thoughts, a furrow between his brows, his face half-covered by his hair. Jaskier felt his heart flutter just looking at him.

Geralt must have sensed he was staring, because he looked up, shooting Jaskier a questioning look. Jaskier quickly looked away, redirecting his eyes upwards to the tree above them and pretending like he hasn't been staring at Geralt for the past few minutes- and the past decade, really.

He spotted a beautifully ripe apple on one of the branches above him. It was harsh red and perfectly round. Jaskier could imagine the taste of it on his tongue.

"When I was young," he started, speaking more to himself than Geralt, "I would always pick at fruits while I was working on a song. I would lie belly down on the grass, scribbling with one hand and stuffing my face with the other."

"Did it help you create better?"

"I don't know. It was a nice habit. And at least I didn't forget to eat while I was writing. I tend to do that."

"I know," there was an almost soft tone to Geralt's voice. It made Jaskier smile.

Jaskier peered up at the apple again. It sat on a high branch, and there was no way Jaskier would have reached it, even if he jumped for it. He decided he'd rather just wait until a fruit fell on the ground.

He picked up his notebook again. He didn't manage to write the next sentence down, because from the corner of his eye, he saw a quick movement that made him look up.

Jaskier's jaw dropped when he saw Geralt jumping up so high, it looked like he was practically flying. Taking good advantage of his advanced strength and reflexes, Geralt grabbed the apple from the branch before he landed again on the ground with a soft thud.

He opened his palm and showed the apple to Jaskier, making him snort.

"Way to humiliate me, Geralt," Jaskier rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry I can't fly. I didn't even know witchers could do that. Eh. Show-off."

"No," Geralt reached out again. "I got it for you."

"For me?" Jaskier whispered in awe. He stared at the apple in Geralt's hand, then up at Geralt. He blinked at him in surprise. Geralt hummed.

"Do you not want it?"

"I do," Jaskier replied. The muscles in his face ached as his lips curled into a wide smile. His heart swelled so big in his chest, he was worried it would burst. "But only if I can share it with you."

"Alright," Geralt concluded. His own lips twitched into a smile as he reached into his satchel, looking for a dagger.

Their knees touched as they sat, passing apple slices between each other. Once again, Jaskier found it hard to look at anywhere but Geralt's face, that lovely face that looked so content now, Jaskier wished he could kiss it.

*

The years have officially caught up to Jaskier. He wasn't old, not by any means, but he wasn't exactly young either. He started to tire out easier, his legs aching after having to walk so long. His joints often creaked and popped when he stood up, and to his absolute horror, he even noticed a gray hair at his temple.

"I don't mean to complain... well, I kind of do. I know it must be hard being a witcher but at least your lower back doesn't try to kill you if you sit a little weird for a few minutes!"

Jaskier groaned as he sunk into the water. The warmth felt heavenly for his tired bones, his cramping muscles easing up slowly as he leaned back in the tub. He rested his head against the edge, letting out a big sigh.

"And I'm only thirty-five!"

"You're thirty-eight, Jaskier."

"It's awfully rude to bring up a lady's age, Geralt!"

"You brought it up first. And you're not a lady."

"No, I'm an old man," Jaskier whined pathetically, closing his eyes. "I'm withering away."

His eyes snapped open again when he felt a touch against his shoulder. He twisted around to see Geralt standing behind the tub.

"Relax," Geralt told him. Before Jaskier could ask what he meant, Geralt pressed his thumb into a sore spot gently, making Jaskier keen in his throat.

"Heavens," he sighed, "this is incredible."

Geralt hummed, a pleased little sound. He ground the heel of his hand into the knots in the back of Jaskier's neck, drawing content little noises out of him.

Jaskier couldn't help but grin when he smelled the chamomile oil. He wanted to make a joke about the tables turning, but he could only manage a blissful moan when Geralt massaged the oil into his skin.

"You know, you do an awful lot of things for me," Jaskier pointed out. "You take care of me a lot."

"You take care of me as well."

"Yes, but it's different for you, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've been thinking," Jaskier admitted. He let out another happy sigh as Geralt rubbed over his shoulder. "I had a lot of time to do that in the past fifteen years or so. You're not very talkative. Sometimes, when you're in the right mood, you talk a bit more. But even then, not as much as me."

Jaskier could hear the grin in Geralt's voice when he said "No one can talk as much as you."

Jaskier snorted. "Alright, maybe the comparison is a little unfair. But my point is, I've told you many times that I love you. You just never seemed to hear me. And I was wondering if it was because you didn't want to hear it, or because your way of telling me is much different."

Geralt's hands stilled. Jaskier turned back, glaring up into amber eyes.

"You're doing all of this for me, buying me things, feeding me, spoiling me, because you don't know how else to tell me."

He reached for Geralt's hand. He smiled when Geralt - even though a little tentatively - laced their fingers together.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to understand your language," Jaskier said softly, "but I get it now. I mean... I get it, right? Oh, gods, it would be very awkward if I misinterpreted this and..."

He didn't get to finish his rambling as Geralt pressed their lips together, his hand still holding Jaskier's. Jaskier felt like melting into the warm water as Geralt kissed him, a little too careful for Jaskier's taste, but so perfectly like no one else could.

"Are you happy?" Geralt asked as he pulled back. Jaskier definitely didn't just imagine the flush on his cheeks this time.

"Very," Jaskier grinned. He kissed the back of Geralt's hand, holding it against his cheek for a moment. "I love you."

Geralt leaned down to kiss him again, carding his fingers through Jaskier's damp hair. Very quietly, very gently, he said the same thing against Jaskier's lips.

[starsstuddedsky]

Shall We?

gn reader x chan 

summary: having a crush on your best friend made everything more complicated. would you be able to tell him how you felt, or will you be stuck in this limbo forever?

 genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, university au, sports au, non idol au

warnings: none, inaccurate soccer, both main characters are dumb?

wc: 6.3k

a/n: this is the first story I’m posting!!! it was really a gift for a friend but I enjoyed it a lot so hopefully y’all do too! thank you for reading :) i wrote it in first person bc second is kinda awk for me

title: Shall We? - CHEN 

masterlist

I wasn’t the type to have crushes. I could count on one hand the number of people I’d ever admitted to having a crush on, and three of them were fictional characters. It wasn’t that I didn’t find people attractive - there were plenty of people in that category. Crushes just didn’t come easily.

That was why I couldn’t decide how to deal with the big fat crush I had on our school’s star forward, Lee Chan. I wasn’t used to having butterflies when I talked to him, losing focus in class, wondering what he was doing, dropping my phone when he posted (his second ever picture on Instagram) what could only be labeled as a thirst trap.

The worst part was that he was my best friend. I’d known him since kindergarten where I ironically swore to hate him for ruining my art project. I couldn’t escape these feelings, no matter how recently they’d come upon me. I glared at Seungkwan, who sat next to me on the sofa. It wasn’t fair that the athletes got better dorms when all they did was kick some balls around, but I stopped complaining out loud when I realized I had enough friends that lived in the athlete dorms that I could stay in their rooms (with actual bathrooms!) as much as I wanted.

“First of all, you’ve been in love with him at least since freshman year,” Seungkwan said. “That’s being generous, actually, it was probably middle school. I can’t be sure it wasn’t elementary school. Maybe it was love at first sight, actually, no, I take it back, you guys are probably soulmates.”

“Are you finished yet?”

Seungkwan laughed. “All I’m saying is that I have been saying that you have been in love with him for years.”

“But I haven’t!” I punched his arm when he scoffed. “I’m serious! These feelings are new and weird and I don’t like them, and Chan is one of my best friends- actually, he is my best friend because you’re being annoying.”

“I take offense to that.”

“Good, you were meant to,” I said. “Now shut up and let me rant. I really like him, Seungkwan, I can’t even think about him without my stomach getting butterflies. There’s no way he hasn’t noticed how weird I am around him, and just can’t imagine my life without him in it.” I buried my face into a pillow. “Why does my stupid heart ruin everything?”

Seungkwan patted me on the back. “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

“I have been friends with Chan my entire life,” I said, raising myself from the cushion. “I think it’s worth being dramatic over.”

“What if it were me? And we were fighting and you were worried we would never be friends again?”

“Ew, gross,” I said automatically. “No offense, but I’d be glad to be rid of you.”

“First of all, you can’t say no offense and expect it to cancel out the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me. Also, I don’t believe you at all; who else have you told about your little crush?”

“No one,” I mumbled.

“That’s what I thought.” Seungkwan sounded smug. “Now, I’m going to assume confessing is out of the question?”

“Don’t even joke about it,” I hugged the pillow against my chest.

Seungkwan whipped his phone out, snapping a picture. “Sorry, I’ve literally never seen you this vulnerable, and I’m going to need blackmail at some point.”

“You are the worst, I gave you the best blackmail in the world, do you really need a picture, too?”

“Oh, yn, I can never have enough blackmail.” Not for the first time, I was scared of Seungkwan.

“Can’t you just give me advice?” I asked. “Weren’t you known for being the love doctor or whatever in high school?”

“First of all, I was not called the love doctor, that sounds weird, please never call me that again,” Seungkwan said. “And it was a lot easier to give advice to people that weren’t both my friends. I think I have to be Switzerland on this one.”

“You’re worthless,” I said, sliding onto the floor.

“Wow, I was just about to offer you food as compensation,” Seungkwan sighed.

“Did I ever tell you that you are my best friend in the entire world?”

Having a newly realized crush on your best friend apparently doesn’t excuse you from going to all of his games, no matter how strangely nervous it made you. Normally I came early to say hi during warmups (a tradition that began during the preseason because Chan forgot something every other day, but spending so much time with two teammates meant that I got to know pretty much the entire team). The thought of trying to act like everything was fine in front of the entire team, including Seungkwan, who would undoubtedly tease me, made me sick, so I texted Chan, telling him I needed to do homework but would be there in time for the game.

It technically wasn’t a lie, but all I did was I sit in my dorm, staring at the door, watching the seconds pass by one at a time. I wondered if he would even notice if I wasn’t there.

“Don’t you have to go?” My roommate asked. “The game starts in like five minutes.”

When I didn’t answer, she said, “You’re usually at every game like half an hour early. Is everything okay?”

I shrugged. “I’m that predictable?”

She smiled. “Did you and Chan fight?”

“No, nothing like that!” I paused. “Wait, why did you ask about Chan?”

“You’re going to be late,” she said, turning back to her desk.

I was torn between questioning exactly why she thought something happened between me and Chan or going to the game. I decided going to the game would at least involve less conflict.

I had to sprint to the stadium so that I wasn’t late, for once grateful Chan made me train with him every once in a while. Luckily it was one of the regulars checking tickets, and they waved me in as soon as they saw me sprinting.

I made it to the fence line just as they finished announcing the lineup for the opposing team. I didn’t need his number to pick him out, at the far end of the field, swaying back and forth a little, tapping the toe of his left cleat to the ground and sliding his foot forward until it was flat on the turf, then doing the same with his right. I couldn’t see him clearly from this far away, but I still knew his eyes were closed, and he was taking a slow deep breath, the same routine he’d performed since he first started playing soccer.

I’d seen him in his uniform since the beginning, but in the last few days, something had changed about the way he looks, as if I was only just now noticing the toned muscles in his arms, the way the uniform was loose yet still showed off shoulders that I knew from experience were firm and perfectly fit for my head. How many times had I rested my head on those shoulders without feeling a thing? Why was everything different now?

They were halfway down the lineup when he turned to the crowd. I watched him as his head turned slightly, scanning the stands, then lowering his chin and looking along the fence line. I could see the moment his eyes passed over me, fully expecting him to continue looking at the crowd. Instead, he stopped, holding my gaze despite the fact that I could barely see him. I froze when he smiled and lifted his hand in a tiny wave, forcing myself to wave back.

I was a grinning idiot, even when he forgot to pay attention to his own name and Vernon had to push him forward when his name was announced. He hastily waved towards the crowd, though I could have sworn his eyes were still on me.

The team went into a quick huddle, whispering among each other for a few seconds, then chanting the school mascot until the entire crowd took it up and the noise was deafening. I had always been curious about what they said in those huddles and finally remembered to ask a few weeks ago.

“Usually it’s just, like, ‘let’s get this done,’ or repeating something coach said about the other team,” he said. “But every once in a while it’s something dumb.”

“Like what?”

“Like jokes and bets between us,” he said, taking a sudden interest in the forks at the restaurant. We had gone out to eat after they lost their first game of the season.

“What was it today?”

He shrugged, shoving the food on his plate around. “Nothing interesting.”

As soon as the referee blew the whistle everyone was moving. It might look like chaos, but I’d seen enough soccer to know that it was an organized dance, how, much like all sports, there were patterns that were followed. My eyes followed Chan as he jogged ahead, waiting for someone to pass him the ball. Our team had taken control of the ball first, one of the seniors, Joshua, dodging around their defense before passing the ball across the field to Jun, the left forward.

Chan was in a good spot to score, the defense mostly focused on Jun, all he had to do was get the ball to him. I could feel the tension building, not just on the field, but in the crowd, as Jun dodged them again and again, then suddenly kicked the ball straight across the field. It looked like the ball wasn’t going anywhere, sliding across the fake grass without anyone from either team to stop it. And then Chan was there. Even I had lost him while watching Jun and the ball. He seemed to have come out of nowhere, kicking the ball as hard as he could before any of the defenders could react, sending it soaring up, the goalie reaching in vain, the ball soaring just over his hands and into the top corner of the goal.

The crowd erupted into cheers, myself the loudest of them all. Chan sprinted back to the home side of the field, grinning like an idiot. He ran past where I stood on the fence line and I could have sworn he winked at me. The rest of the team half tackled him as if he’d scored the game winning goal, chanting, “Dino! Dino! Dino!”

I frowned. Where had they learned that? As far as I knew, I was the only one to ever call him that. I supposed it wasn’t a big deal that other people called him by that name, but it still felt strange. I didn’t like that something that was ours was suddenly shared.

The referee blew his whistle and they finally reorganized themselves. Scoring a goal so early on could be dangerous, encouraging them to relax and let their defenses down. As they spread out on the field, I didn’t notice any of that. Chan was focused from the second the referee blew his whistle and the game play started again. I glanced at the team, and they all seemed equally intense.

I tried to think of why they were so focused. Were they playing a rival? The other team was good and a win would count toward their conference ranking, but it wasn’t anyone I thought warranted this level of focus. Maybe they were still upset that they lost the game last week, though they’d swept the tournament they played this past weekend.

The rest of the first half was uneventful, neither team able to score. Chan and Minghao, another forward, both came close but the balls were stopped by the other team’s goalie. Jihoon, our own goalie, only had to stop one ball. Everything else was stopped by what we affectionately called the Great Wall. Mingyu and Seungcheol were the main defenders, and were famous in our region for rarely letting a ball through our defense.

After the quick break, the teams returned to the field, switching sides. Now Chan would be closer to my side, running most of the offense almost in front of me. As soon as the whistle was blown he was moving, running right past me. I was probably imagining the smell of his detergent as he passed me by.

About half an hour in, I thought they might be able to score, but Chan lost the ball to one of their defenders and it was sent halfway across the field to their midfielders. Seungcheol and Mingyu did a good job, but even they weren’t quite able to stop the other team from pushing them down the field, closer to our goal. I held my breath as their forward got a good kick on the ball.

People tended to underestimate our goalie because he was pretty short. They didn’t know how quickly Jihoon could move, how good he was at anticipating where the ball would be kicked. I wondered if he was consciously aware of what he was seeing or if it was all instinct now. He made snagging the ball out of the air look easy, hanging on to it until the outfielders were back on the other side of the field.

Chan passed by me again as Jihoon threw the ball across the field, staying just in front of the defenders. They passed the ball around, not able to get past the defense, but also not giving up possession. Five minutes passed, then ten, and still neither team scored. We were still up by one, but as the time ticked down, the other team grew more desperate.

At 4 minutes and 47 seconds, they pushed through the defense. One of their forwards swung his foot back to kick the ball but turned slightly at the last second, slamming his foot into Mingyu’s shin. The taller boy dropped to the ground, but no whistle was blown, and the forward got a shot off. Jihoon couldn’t quite get to the ball and it just barely made it in.

1-1

While Seungcheol, the captain, and the coach shouted at the referee at the blatant foul that wasn’t called, the rest of the team regrouped. Mingyu had gotten up after a couple seconds, and from where I was looking he looked fine, though clearly mad. The referee gave Seungcheol a yellow card and he finally backed down, and our coach called a time out.

The crowd began the usual chants, though there was more passion after the horrible calls. When I was in the stands, I was normally screaming along with them, sometimes even leading them. I didn’t have any energy tonight to join in.

The time out wasn’t nearly long enough to cool them down. I could tell by the way they stalked back out onto the field that most of them were still mad, and I couldn’t blame them. The second the referee blew the whistle they were on the attack, sending the ball down the field recklessly fast. Chan was moving better than I’d ever seen before, anticipating where the defense would be and dodging before they even moved into position. The ball was passed to him quickly, though he immediately shot it off to one of the midfielders.

The lower the time got, the more desperate each team was. We somehow still held control of the ball for two full minutes, still unable to get a shot off.

At 2 minutes and 13 seconds, Chan had the ball again. He was moving like everyone else was stuck in quicksand, dodging the defenders and driving a path towards the goal. I could feel that he was going to get past them, going to score, and then he found and opening, swinging his foot back and-

And he got slammed to the ground by one of their defenders. This time the referee couldn’t ignore it, blowing his whistle. I was pretty sure there was about to be a fight, but I couldn’t look away from Chan, who was still on the ground. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat as I waited for him to get up, for him to move. He was only a few feet away from me. The idiotic part of me wanted to hop the fence and jump onto the field but what would I do? Yell at him until he woke up?

His back was to me and the longer he went without moving the more scared I got. Had he hit his head? Was something broken? I desperately wanted him to do something to at least show he was still alive.

Jun and Minghao, the other forwards, got to him first, kneeling next to him until the trainer finally reached him. I was vaguely aware of Mingyu and Seungkwan holding Seungcheol back as he yelled at the other team, but I couldn’t look away from Chan. From my angle, I could only see him reach his arm out, but I felt like I could finally breathe again. He was alive, at least.

The trainer spoke to him for a minute or two, then apparently decided he could be moved. Jun and Minghao helped him up and half carried him off the field, setting him on the table the trainer had set up to treat the athletes. It was foolish, but all I wanted to do was run over there, to see with my own eyes that he was okay.

After another time out, this time by the other team, the game started again. I couldn’t pay attention to anything, only watching Chan from across the field as the trainer made him go through yet more exercises, finally gesturing for him to follow her to the athletics building. I tried to decide if that was a good thing or not. It meant that he was well enough to walk on his own, but what did she need in the building? Did he need specialized treatment?

I had given up on paying attention to the match. The second half ended with the score still tied but all I could think of was Chan, suffering alone.

“Screw it,” I muttered. I pushed off the fence, walking towards the building with long strides. I’d been there more than a few times with Chan while we were hanging out before practice, sometimes wandering the building but often while he got treatment in the trainer’s office. Sometimes it felt like I was around Chan so much that I might as well be a part of the team.

I knew exactly where the office was. A week ago I wouldn’t have been nervous making this trip. I probably wouldn’t have left the stands at such an intense match, though I might have been a little worried. Everything had changed so quickly. I could feel adrenaline coursing through my veins as if I had been the one on the field playing.

I got to the trainer’s office and froze. Normally I would walk in without a thought to it, but I was suddenly not sure of anything. What if he just wanted to be alone? Or what if he didn’t want me there?

I decided I would at least rather see that he was alive. I knocked once then opened the door.

“Yn,” the trainer said with a warm smile. She’d been so happy when I told her I was interested in athletic medicine, inviting me to come with Chan whenever I wanted. The whole summer she’d been hinting at a relationship between me and Chan, despite both of our protests.

I waved, looking for Chan. He was laying on one of the tables on his stomach shirtless, wires hooked up to something on his back covered by ice packs, his eyes closed, looking like he was asleep.

“Is he okay?” I asked softly.

“Oh he’s fine,” she answered. “And he’s not sleeping, I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling.” His eyes flicked open and he glared at her.

“Well, I need to see if anyone else decided to get hurt while you get pampered,” she said. “I’ll be back in like five minutes, so just don’t die.” Chan gave her a thumbs up and she was gone.

I pulled a chair next to his table, leaning against the side. Chan’s arm only a few inches away from mine.

“Did we win?” He asked before I had a chance to say anything.

“That’s seriously all you want to know? You’re not even going to tell me if you’re okay?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Fine,” I said, “I have no idea, it went into overtime so I came here.” He was silent. “Are you okay?“ I asked again.

He let out a dramatic sigh. “I got the wind knocked the fuck out of me. Seriously, I’ve been hit before but that hurt. You need to check my chest for shoulder marks later.”

My cheeks flushed at the thought of being in front of him while he was shirtless, and I was happy his face was pressed into the leather cushion. I’d seen him shirtless plenty of times, but thinking about it now…

“What’s this?” I asked, brushing my fingers lightly on the wires, trying not to think about brushing them against the bare skin of his back.

“Stim,” he said. “My back was sore from getting knocked into the ground by that asshole and I just thought it would feel nice.” He turned his head at an awkward angle so that he could look at me. I could only meet his gaze for a few seconds before I looked away.

“Do you think it’s over yet?” He asked, breaking the silence that lasted for nearly a minute.

“You could have gotten seriously hurt and you’re still more worried about the game? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

“Hey I am concussion free!” Chan said. “She did the test and everything. I just- I want to know if we won or not! It’s important that we don’t lose to assholes that body slam people!”

He was right, but I had known Chan for too long. He was lying.

“Besides, since when have you been worried about me?” He turned so that he could see me. “When I almost broke my wrist two years ago you said you would rather die than miss the end of the game.”

“That was playoffs!”

“We were up by four goals!”

I opened my mouth to argue back, but he was right. I was different now. I just didn’t have the guts to tell him why.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know I’m not always the best friend to you.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Chan said immediately, brushing his hand against mine. He looked so uncomfortable trying to face me while laying flat on his stomach. I slipped out of the chair, sitting on the floor in front of the table so that he could look straight at me, trying not to think about how he almost held on to my hand.

We stayed like that for a moment, Chan staring into my eyes and me staring right back. In the end I couldn’t take his gaze, looking down at the tile floor and realizing the pattern was really fascinating, even if it was clearly from 1990.

“I’m sorry,” Chan said. “I’m not upset about something from two years ago. I just… I want to tell you something but I don’t know if it’s right and they said I should do it when it’s right but I have no idea what that means, and then they said that maybe it wouldn’t ever be right, so I just… I don’t know.”

I could feel all of my courage crumbling as I looked back at him, dark eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. I felt like he could see right through me.

“Chan…” I said. “You’re my best friend. I’ve known you for so long I don’t think I know who I am without you, and I think that’s what really scares me. You’re like this weird carrot that’s grown next to my carrot and we’ve coiled around each other and they exist on their own as separate carrots, but if they aren’t together, it just looks lonely.”

I peeked at Chan and he was frowning. Not my best metaphor. “I’m trying to say that I don’t like who I am without you. You mean everything to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, too,” he said slowly.

I groaned. “You’re not getting it! I’m trying to tell you that I like you, Chan!”

He quiet for a moment. “Yn, did you just confess to me while I’m laying on a table after being knocked out?”

“When you put it like that…” I stared at my hands. So that’s what I felt like to ruin everything.

“Yn.”

I wondered if I could successfully vanish, maybe start a new life raising sheep in Mongolia.

“Hey,” Chan said, reaching his hand out to brush against my cheek. “You’re an idiot.”

“I feel so much better,” I said, burying my face in my hands. “Thank you for that.”

“Please look me in the eyes for this,” Chan said. As much as I wanted to dig a hole and rot away in it, I couldn’t deny him this, especially not when he was using such a gentle yet firm tone. I forced myself to meet his eyes, finding comfort in the familiarity, even if I knew everything had changed and it was my fault.

“I have been trying to tell you I like you for months and you do it in pretty much the least romantic way possible,” he said. “Seriously, there are electrical impulses being shot down my back.”

“I take it back, I feel nothing,” I said, standing up.

He laughed, that stupid, infectious laugh that never failed to make me smile, reaching out and catching my hand. “Can you give me like five seconds to at least be sitting upright?”

I nodded, still facing the door so that he couldn’t see my smile.

“I might need some help, actually,” Chan said after a moment. “This stuff is kinda stuck to my back.”

I turned to him, taking in the situation. He’d gotten the ice packs off but the pads for stim were stuck to his back. This wasn’t the first time I’d helped him with stim, in fact I’d done it for half the team (albeit usually on their knees or shoulders). Helping Chan now, my cheeks were probably bright red, fingers tingling every time they brushed against his skin. The four pads came off easily and I stuck them back onto the plastic they normally were stuck to, turning off the machine and putting everything back where it should be. When I turned around, Chan was sitting up rolling his shoulders back. If my face wasn’t already a tomato it was now. Chan laughed as I looked anywhere but at him.

“You’re not going to check for shoulder marks?” He asked. He was probably batting his eyes and pretending to be innocent.

I glanced him over, trying hard to force my eyes past his bare chest, then tossed his shirt at him. “Shoulder mark free.”

“Are you sure, because you didn’t look very hard and-”

“Oh my god, Chan, just put on the shirt!”

He laughed, pulling it over his head. “You’re so easy to tease.” He caught my hands when I tried to step away again, gently tugging on them so that I was facing him while he still sat on the table.

“Yn,” he said softly, running his thumbs over my knuckles. “I had a whole plan of how I was going to tell you how I felt. We’d go to that cafe, or sometimes I planned it for the library, and once I even planned to try to tell you on the field. None of them worked because every time I saw you I couldn’t figure out a way to get the words in my heart out so that you could hear them.” He held my gaze and I knew he wasn’t lying. I hadn’t lasted a week with these feelings. How had Chan been able to stand it?

“I really, really like you,” Chan said. “And I-”

The door was slammed open and all of a sudden the room was filled with noise. I let go of one of his hands as half the team came streaming in. With the hand he still held, Chan pulled me closer to him until I was shoulder to shoulder with him, lacing his fingers with mine.

“Chan you’re alive!” Seokmin shouted.

“Yeah I was going to go to the light but I remembered you guys are hopeless without me.”

“Hopeless?” Soonyoung laughed. “Just for that I’m not telling you who won.”

“I don’t think that matters anymore,” Jeonghan said, gesturing to me and Chan.

“Hey!” Seokmin shouted. “That’s cheating!”

“What’s going on?” I whispered in Chan’s ear.

“I’ll explain later,” he whispered back, then said to everyone, “I appreciate your concern for my love life, but seriously, did we win or not?”

Seungcheol leaned against the counter with a smug smile. “You think we’d let a team like that win?”

Chan grinned, turning to me. I hoped he couldn’t hear how loud my heart was beating when he turned his gaze on me like that. “Yn, will you go on a date with me?”

I forgot about the team who were hollering around us, forgot about the game, forgot about everything except me and Chan. “Of course.”

Chan only let go of my hand once as we walked back to the apartment, and it was only to let me put on his sweatshirt. As soon as I pulled my arms through the sleeves, his hand was back in mine. It should have felt weird to be this intimate after a lifetime of friendship. It felt like we should have been like this from the beginning.

“You’re sure you feel the same way?“ Chan asked.

“If you ask me one more time I’m going to change my mind,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I had resigned myself to being your b-f ‘best friend,’ not b-f ‘boyfriend.’”

“First of all, Seungkwan is my best friend,” I said.

“Um, wrong, I’ve known you for longer.”

“That’s not the point but I have a feeling you’re going to win this one so I’m just going to give up now.” I turned to look him in the eyes. “But seriously, how long have you liked me? And don’t you dare say from the moment I met you or some bullshit because I know that’s not true.”

“No, I’m not that dramatic. I think the moment I realized it was at graduation.” He smiled at the memory, pausing on the sidewalk.

“Do you remember how we went straight from the ceremony to the beach and that first night we stayed up all night talking about the future and we watched the sunrise over the water?” He waited for my nod. “I remember listening to you talk about your life plans and realizing how lucky I am to know you, and then realizing that I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it.

“Do you know how magical you looked watching the sunrise? I know it’s the cheesiest line ever, but you really were prettier than the sunrise and ever since then I haven’t been able to think of anyone but you.” Chan smiled and my heart felt like it was going to explode. I leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, then suddenly felt shy, turning and continuing to walk. Chan didn’t move until I was tugging on his hand.

“Your turn,” he said after a few moments passed and the heat in my cheeks had finally died down. “When did you realize?”

“Last week,” I said. “Right before you left for the tournament you asked for a kiss goodbye, and I thought it was just a joke but then I spent all weekend thinking about your lips and about how that’s definitely not best friend thoughts, and then I started thinking about you and then I realized that for everything in my life I go to you, and you are the only person in the world who knows how to make me smile when I am having a horrible day, and you don’t complain when I’m being mean or grumpy, and you are the only person I could ever see myself spending the rest of my life with.

“I know it’s not as romantic as watching the sunrise with you and maybe you think these five days aren’t long enough to feel anything as strong as you, but, Chan, I swear I know my heart and you are the only one in it, and the only one that will ever be in it.” It was terrifying to say these things out loud, but I turned to Chan and he had the biggest smile on his face.

He stepped closer to me until there were only a few inches between us, bringing one hand to my cheek. “Can I kiss you?” He asked so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

I nodded, closing my eyes as he leaned closer, nose brushing against mine, and it was not a gentle kiss like mine had been. His hand slid to the back of my head, the other one finally letting go and slipping to hold my waist. I wrapped my own arms around his neck, pulling him as close as I could.

Chan pulled away first, though his arms stayed wrapped around me. “Feedback?”

I laughed, burying my head in his chest. ‘Feedback’ was always for class presentations, or how I thought he did in his last game. “Only if you tell me why your team calls you Dino.”

I disentangled myself from his arms, lacing our fingers back together and beginning to walk again.

“You better not be mad about that because it’s your fault,” he said, catching up to me easily. “Seokmin and Soonyoung saw you spamming me with those dinosaur stickers while we were at an away game and I had to explain to them that you made the nickname when we were six and already a cruel monster.”

“It’s not my fault you cried unless you brought your stuffie to school with you.”

“Don’t you dare tell them that part!” He said. “They’ll never let it go, it’s bad enough I have Seungkwan holding it over me.”

I laughed. “You haven’t explained what was going on in the training room either, by the way.”

“Right.” I glanced at him and he avoided my eyes.

“What is it?”

“It’s embarrassing,” he whined.

“More embarrassing than getting dumped fifteen minutes after the relationship started?”

“You wouldn’t,” Chan said and he was right, but it still worked because he let out a dramatic sigh and kept walking. “Do you remember last week after we lost and we went out to eat and you asked me about what we say in the pregame huddles?” He waited until I nodded to continue. “Well, apparently my crush was obvious to everyone other than you and Seokmin and Soonyoung specifically were determined to ‘help’ me confess so they thought it would be funny to say ‘when we win Chan has to tell yn how he feels,’ but then we lost and someone said that maybe we just weren’t meant to be and it was a joke, but I’ve been overthinking it since then.

“Then today, Seungcheol said it, and I think it was supposed to be a joke but everyone took it really seriously and I don’t know, I really felt like if we didn’t win today then maybe we really wouldn’t ever work out.

“But then you showed up and confessed to me in the least romantic way possible and I realized how dumb I was,” Chan said, grinning.

“You’re kind of an idiot,” I said.

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot,” he said, leaning into me.

“You’re ridiculous.” I tried unsuccessfully to hide my smile.

He snuck closer, pressing a kiss to my cheek, then wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him. I couldn’t think of any more insults to throw at him, so I leaned into him.

“So, are you going to give me feedback on my kissing or not?”

“I’m not sure, I think I need to try again before forming an opinion.”

Chan laughed, turning to face me with a smile that could break hearts. “You better pay attention this time.” He kissed me and I was floating.

When I finally pushed back, he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“Two out of ten, honestly, I’m disappointed, I thought you could do better than this,” I said, pushing his arms off of me before I could react and sprinting away.

“Hey!” He shouted. “I’m still handicapped! I got knocked out today!” Despite his protests, he caught up to me easily, wrapping his arms around me from behind, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“Want to try again?”

“Hm, nope,” I said, giggling when he wrapped his arms even tighter.

“You are so lucky I love you,” he said, pressing another kiss on my cheek. I wondered if he noticed that he let the word slip. I settled my hands on his arms, holding him to me just as tightly as he was. There was a gentle breeze in the air, the streetlights warm and cozy, and I decided I would spend the rest of my life like this, me and Chan, together.

[cjsinkythoughts]

The Conversation

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)

Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There

A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:

I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!

I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!

On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)

“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”

“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”

You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”

“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”

You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.

“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”

You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.

“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.

“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”

“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.

You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”

He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”

“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”

“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”

“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”

You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”

“Oh.”

His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”

He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.

“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”

“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”

He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.

***************

Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.

When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.

“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.

He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”

You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly,  tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“They’re probably at the docks, then.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?”

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”

“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”

Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”

You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”

“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”

You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”

“Thank you?”

Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”

The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.

“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”

“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”

You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.

“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.

“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”

Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”

Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.

“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.

“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”

You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”

“Nothing!”

“Well then get your ass over here!”

You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.

“I don’t have any plans.”

Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”

You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”

“Ah…Sarah.”

“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.

“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.

He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”

“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.

Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.

Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.

Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.

“Gonna dance, Barnes?”

He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”

Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.

A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.

“Buck!”

He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”

He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.

“Sit in something there, Barnes?”

“What?”

Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Y/N!”

“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”

“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.

You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”

“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!

You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”

“Oops?”

“I’m gonna kill you!”

“Try me old man!”

“Fuck!

“Doll!”

“Oh my God!”

Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.

You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water. 

“Doll!”

“Cher, you good?!” 

The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”

The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”

“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.” 

“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.

“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”

“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”

Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”

************

You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.

“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.

“Sammy’s.”

Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.

Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”

“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”

“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”

“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.

“But don’t flirt with my sister.”

You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”

“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”

“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”

Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”

You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”

He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.

“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”

“What?” You gaped at him.

“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”

“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”

You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”

He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”

“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”

“Tomorrow or nothing.”

“Sam-”

Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”

“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”

The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”

“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”

Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.

“Hey-”

“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”

Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over. 

“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”

******************

“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”

“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”

You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”

“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.

“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”

Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.

“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.

“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”

You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”

You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“No. I fall asleep better with you.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.

“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.

He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”

“Your own what?”

“Family.”

You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”

A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.

“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.

“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”

He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”

“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”

He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”

You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”

“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”

You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”

You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”

“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”

“The goats?”

You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.

“Our goats, huh?”

But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”

He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”

Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.

“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”

“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”

“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”

He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots. 

You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”

“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”

******************

“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”

You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”

“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.” 

“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.

******************

The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.

“Boys!”

“Sorry!”

You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”

“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”

Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”

You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”

“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”

You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”

She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”

“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”

You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”

She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”

“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”

“And Bucky?”

You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”

“Does he want kids?”

“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”

“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”

You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”

Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”

“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”

“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”

You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?

“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”

Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”

“I’m kinda in love with him-”

She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”

And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.

But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.

******************

You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.

“Hi, Sarah.”

Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”

“Yep, Samuel.”

You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”

You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.

“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”

“It’s tough love.”

You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.

“Oh my God. A prowess?”

“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”

“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”

“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”

“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”

“She got you so good, Sammy!”

“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”

“It’s my natural charm.”

“Charm? What charm?”

“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”

****************

“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.” 

Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”

“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”

You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”

“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…

“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”

“Can I talk to you?”

Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.

“I wanna have the conversation.”

He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”

You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”

“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”

“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.

“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Buck-”

“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”

He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.

“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”

You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.

His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.

“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”

His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.

“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”

You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”

“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.

“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”

Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence. 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”

You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.

“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”

“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.

“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”

Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”

He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.

You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.

“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.

You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”

Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.

“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”

~

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.

“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”

Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”

“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”

“I know…I just hope I can.”

Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”

Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”

Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.

Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”

“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”

Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”

Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”

Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”

“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”

“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.

“Nope!”

“We’re not that good.”

“Definitely not.”

“We’re professionals.”

“Definitely.”

“And, uh, we’re partners.”

Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”

“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”

“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”

“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”

“I can live with that.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”

Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”

“Dumbasses?”

“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”

Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”

“Until then, cher.”

Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.

“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”

[starstuddeddsky]

Shall We?

gn reader x chan 

summary: having a crush on your best friend made everything more complicated. would you be able to tell him how you felt, or will you be stuck in this limbo forever?

 genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, university au, sports au, non idol au

warnings: none, inaccurate soccer, both main characters are dumb?

wc: 6.3k

a/n: this is the first story I’m posting!!! it was really a gift for a friend but I enjoyed it a lot so hopefully y’all do too! thank you for reading :) i wrote it in first person bc second is kinda awk for me

title: Shall We? - CHEN 

I wasn’t the type to have crushes. I could count on one hand the number of people I’d ever admitted to having a crush on, and three of them were fictional characters. It wasn’t that I didn’t find people attractive - there were plenty of people in that category. Crushes just didn’t come easily.

That was why I couldn’t decide how to deal with the big fat crush I had on our school’s star forward, Lee Chan. I wasn’t used to having butterflies when I talked to him, losing focus in class, wondering what he was doing, dropping my phone when he posted (his second ever picture on Instagram) what could only be labeled as a thirst trap.

The worst part was that he was my best friend. I’d known him since kindergarten where I ironically swore to hate him for ruining my art project. I couldn’t escape these feelings, no matter how recently they’d come upon me. I glared at Seungkwan, who sat next to me on the sofa. It wasn’t fair that the athletes got better dorms when all they did was kick some balls around, but I stopped complaining out loud when I realized I had enough friends that lived in the athlete dorms that I could stay in their rooms (with actual bathrooms!) as much as I wanted.

“First of all, you’ve been in love with him at least since freshman year,” Seungkwan said. “That’s being generous, actually, it was probably middle school. I can’t be sure it wasn’t elementary school. Maybe it was love at first sight, actually, no, I take it back, you guys are probably soulmates.”

“Are you finished yet?”

Seungkwan laughed. “All I’m saying is that I have been saying that you have been in love with him for years.”

“But I haven’t!” I punched his arm when he scoffed. “I’m serious! These feelings are new and weird and I don’t like them, and Chan is one of my best friends- actually, he is my best friend because you’re being annoying.”

“I take offense to that.”

“Good, you were meant to,” I said. “Now shut up and let me rant. I really like him, Seungkwan, I can’t even think about him without my stomach getting butterflies. There’s no way he hasn’t noticed how weird I am around him, and just can’t imagine my life without him in it.” I buried my face into a pillow. “Why does my stupid heart ruin everything?”

Seungkwan patted me on the back. “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

“I have been friends with Chan my entire life,” I said, raising myself from the cushion. “I think it’s worth being dramatic over.”

“What if it were me? And we were fighting and you were worried we would never be friends again?”

“Ew, gross,” I said automatically. “No offense, but I’d be glad to be rid of you.”

“First of all, you can’t say no offense and expect it to cancel out the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me. Also, I don’t believe you at all; who else have you told about your little crush?”

“No one,” I mumbled.

“That’s what I thought.” Seungkwan sounded smug. “Now, I’m going to assume confessing is out of the question?”

“Don’t even joke about it,” I hugged the pillow against my chest.

Seungkwan whipped his phone out, snapping a picture. “Sorry, I’ve literally never seen you this vulnerable, and I’m going to need blackmail at some point.”

“You are the worst, I gave you the best blackmail in the world, do you really need a picture, too?”

“Oh, yn, I can never have enough blackmail.” Not for the first time, I was scared of Seungkwan.

“Can’t you just give me advice?” I asked. “Weren’t you known for being the love doctor or whatever in high school?”

“First of all, I was not called the love doctor, that sounds weird, please never call me that again,” Seungkwan said. “And it was a lot easier to give advice to people that weren’t both my friends. I think I have to be Switzerland on this one.”

“You’re worthless,” I said, sliding onto the floor.

“Wow, I was just about to offer you food as compensation,” Seungkwan sighed.

“Did I ever tell you that you are my best friend in the entire world?”

Having a newly realized crush on your best friend apparently doesn’t excuse you from going to all of his games, no matter how strangely nervous it made you. Normally I came early to say hi during warmups (a tradition that began during the preseason because Chan forgot something every other day, but spending so much time with two teammates meant that I got to know pretty much the entire team). The thought of trying to act like everything was fine in front of the entire team, including Seungkwan, who would undoubtedly tease me, made me sick, so I texted Chan, telling him I needed to do homework but would be there in time for the game.

It technically wasn’t a lie, but all I did was I sit in my dorm, staring at the door, watching the seconds pass by one at a time. I wondered if he would even notice if I wasn’t there.

“Don’t you have to go?” My roommate asked. “The game starts in like five minutes.”

When I didn’t answer, she said, “You’re usually at every game like half an hour early. Is everything okay?”

I shrugged. “I’m that predictable?”

She smiled. “Did you and Chan fight?”

“No, nothing like that!” I paused. “Wait, why did you ask about Chan?”

“You’re going to be late,” she said, turning back to her desk.

I was torn between questioning exactly why she thought something happened between me and Chan or going to the game. I decided going to the game would at least involve less conflict.

I had to sprint to the stadium so that I wasn’t late, for once grateful Chan made me train with him every once in a while. Luckily it was one of the regulars checking tickets, and they waved me in as soon as they saw me sprinting.

I made it to the fence line just as they finished announcing the lineup for the opposing team. I didn’t need his number to pick him out, at the far end of the field, swaying back and forth a little, tapping the toe of his left cleat to the ground and sliding his foot forward until it was flat on the turf, then doing the same with his right. I couldn’t see him clearly from this far away, but I still knew his eyes were closed, and he was taking a slow deep breath, the same routine he’d performed since he first started playing soccer.

I’d seen him in his uniform since the beginning, but in the last few days, something had changed about the way he looks, as if I was only just now noticing the toned muscles in his arms, the way the uniform was loose yet still showed off shoulders that I knew from experience were firm and perfectly fit for my head. How many times had I rested my head on those shoulders without feeling a thing? Why was everything different now?

They were halfway down the lineup when he turned to the crowd. I watched him as his head turned slightly, scanning the stands, then lowering his chin and looking along the fence line. I could see the moment his eyes passed over me, fully expecting him to continue looking at the crowd. Instead, he stopped, holding my gaze despite the fact that I could barely see him. I froze when he smiled and lifted his hand in a tiny wave, forcing myself to wave back.

I was a grinning idiot, even when he forgot to pay attention to his own name and Vernon had to push him forward when his name was announced. He hastily waved towards the crowd, though I could have sworn his eyes were still on me.

The team went into a quick huddle, whispering among each other for a few seconds, then chanting the school mascot until the entire crowd took it up and the noise was deafening. I had always been curious about what they said in those huddles and finally remembered to ask a few weeks ago.

“Usually it’s just, like, ‘let’s get this done,’ or repeating something coach said about the other team,” he said. “But every once in a while it’s something dumb.”

“Like what?”

“Like jokes and bets between us,” he said, taking a sudden interest in the forks at the restaurant. We had gone out to eat after they lost their first game of the season.

“What was it today?”

He shrugged, shoving the food on his plate around. “Nothing interesting.”

As soon as the referee blew the whistle everyone was moving. It might look like chaos, but I’d seen enough soccer to know that it was an organized dance, how, much like all sports, there were patterns that were followed. My eyes followed Chan as he jogged ahead, waiting for someone to pass him the ball. Our team had taken control of the ball first, one of the seniors, Joshua, dodging around their defense before passing the ball across the field to Jun, the left forward.

Chan was in a good spot to score, the defense mostly focused on Jun, all he had to do was get the ball to him. I could feel the tension building, not just on the field, but in the crowd, as Jun dodged them again and again, then suddenly kicked the ball straight across the field. It looked like the ball wasn’t going anywhere, sliding across the fake grass without anyone from either team to stop it. And then Chan was there. Even I had lost him while watching Jun and the ball. He seemed to have come out of nowhere, kicking the ball as hard as he could before any of the defenders could react, sending it soaring up, the goalie reaching in vain, the ball soaring just over his hands and into the top corner of the goal.

The crowd erupted into cheers, myself the loudest of them all. Chan sprinted back to the home side of the field, grinning like an idiot. He ran past where I stood on the fence line and I could have sworn he winked at me. The rest of the team half tackled him as if he’d scored the game winning goal, chanting, “Dino! Dino! Dino!”

I frowned. Where had they learned that? As far as I knew, I was the only one to ever call him that. I supposed it wasn’t a big deal that other people called him by that name, but it still felt strange. I didn’t like that something that was ours was suddenly shared.

The referee blew his whistle and they finally reorganized themselves. Scoring a goal so early on could be dangerous, encouraging them to relax and let their defenses down. As they spread out on the field, I didn’t notice any of that. Chan was focused from the second the referee blew his whistle and the game play started again. I glanced at the team, and they all seemed equally intense.

I tried to think of why they were so focused. Were they playing a rival? The other team was good and a win would count toward their conference ranking, but it wasn’t anyone I thought warranted this level of focus. Maybe they were still upset that they lost the game last week, though they’d swept the tournament they played this past weekend.

The rest of the first half was uneventful, neither team able to score. Chan and Minghao, another forward, both came close but the balls were stopped by the other team’s goalie. Jihoon, our own goalie, only had to stop one ball. Everything else was stopped by what we affectionately called the Great Wall. Mingyu and Seungcheol were the main defenders, and were famous in our region for rarely letting a ball through our defense.

After the quick break, the teams returned to the field, switching sides. Now Chan would be closer to my side, running most of the offense almost in front of me. As soon as the whistle was blown he was moving, running right past me. I was probably imagining the smell of his detergent as he passed me by.

About half an hour in, I thought they might be able to score, but Chan lost the ball to one of their defenders and it was sent halfway across the field to their midfielders. Seungcheol and Mingyu did a good job, but even they weren’t quite able to stop the other team from pushing them down the field, closer to our goal. I held my breath as their forward got a good kick on the ball.

People tended to underestimate our goalie because he was pretty short. They didn’t know how quickly Jihoon could move, how good he was at anticipating where the ball would be kicked. I wondered if he was consciously aware of what he was seeing or if it was all instinct now. He made snagging the ball out of the air look easy, hanging on to it until the outfielders were back on the other side of the field.

Chan passed by me again as Jihoon threw the ball across the field, staying just in front of the defenders. They passed the ball around, not able to get past the defense, but also not giving up possession. Five minutes passed, then ten, and still neither team scored. We were still up by one, but as the time ticked down, the other team grew more desperate.

At 4 minutes and 47 seconds, they pushed through the defense. One of their forwards swung his foot back to kick the ball but turned slightly at the last second, slamming his foot into Mingyu’s shin. The taller boy dropped to the ground, but no whistle was blown, and the forward got a shot off. Jihoon couldn’t quite get to the ball and it just barely made it in.

1-1

While Seungcheol, the captain, and the coach shouted at the referee at the blatant foul that wasn’t called, the rest of the team regrouped. Mingyu had gotten up after a couple seconds, and from where I was looking he looked fine, though clearly mad. The referee gave Seungcheol a yellow card and he finally backed down, and our coach called a time out.

The crowd began the usual chants, though there was more passion after the horrible calls. When I was in the stands, I was normally screaming along with them, sometimes even leading them. I didn’t have any energy tonight to join in.

The time out wasn’t nearly long enough to cool them down. I could tell by the way they stalked back out onto the field that most of them were still mad, and I couldn’t blame them. The second the referee blew the whistle they were on the attack, sending the ball down the field recklessly fast. Chan was moving better than I’d ever seen before, anticipating where the defense would be and dodging before they even moved into position. The ball was passed to him quickly, though he immediately shot it off to one of the midfielders.

The lower the time got, the more desperate each team was. We somehow still held control of the ball for two full minutes, still unable to get a shot off.

At 2 minutes and 13 seconds, Chan had the ball again. He was moving like everyone else was stuck in quicksand, dodging the defenders and driving a path towards the goal. I could feel that he was going to get past them, going to score, and then he found and opening, swinging his foot back and-

And he got slammed to the ground by one of their defenders. This time the referee couldn’t ignore it, blowing his whistle. I was pretty sure there was about to be a fight, but I couldn’t look away from Chan, who was still on the ground. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat as I waited for him to get up, for him to move. He was only a few feet away from me. The idiotic part of me wanted to hop the fence and jump onto the field but what would I do? Yell at him until he woke up?

His back was to me and the longer he went without moving the more scared I got. Had he hit his head? Was something broken? I desperately wanted him to do something to at least show he was still alive.

Jun and Minghao, the other forwards, got to him first, kneeling next to him until the trainer finally reached him. I was vaguely aware of Mingyu and Seungkwan holding Seungcheol back as he yelled at the other team, but I couldn’t look away from Chan. From my angle, I could only see him reach his arm out, but I felt like I could finally breathe again. He was alive, at least.

The trainer spoke to him for a minute or two, then apparently decided he could be moved. Jun and Minghao helped him up and half carried him off the field, setting him on the table the trainer had set up to treat the athletes. It was foolish, but all I wanted to do was run over there, to see with my own eyes that he was okay.

After another time out, this time by the other team, the game started again. I couldn’t pay attention to anything, only watching Chan from across the field as the trainer made him go through yet more exercises, finally gesturing for him to follow her to the athletics building. I tried to decide if that was a good thing or not. It meant that he was well enough to walk on his own, but what did she need in the building? Did he need specialized treatment?

I had given up on paying attention to the match. The second half ended with the score still tied but all I could think of was Chan, suffering alone.

“Screw it,” I muttered. I pushed off the fence, walking towards the building with long strides. I’d been there more than a few times with Chan while we were hanging out before practice, sometimes wandering the building but often while he got treatment in the trainer’s office. Sometimes it felt like I was around Chan so much that I might as well be a part of the team.

I knew exactly where the office was. A week ago I wouldn’t have been nervous making this trip. I probably wouldn’t have left the stands at such an intense match, though I might have been a little worried. Everything had changed so quickly. I could feel adrenaline coursing through my veins as if I had been the one on the field playing.

I got to the trainer’s office and froze. Normally I would walk in without a thought to it, but I was suddenly not sure of anything. What if he just wanted to be alone? Or what if he didn’t want me there?

I decided I would at least rather see that he was alive. I knocked once then opened the door.

“Yn,” the trainer said with a warm smile. She’d been so happy when I told her I was interested in athletic medicine, inviting me to come with Chan whenever I wanted. The whole summer she’d been hinting at a relationship between me and Chan, despite both of our protests.

I waved, looking for Chan. He was laying on one of the tables on his stomach shirtless, wires hooked up to something on his back covered by ice packs, his eyes closed, looking like he was asleep.

“Is he okay?” I asked softly.

“Oh he’s fine,” she answered. “And he’s not sleeping, I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling.” His eyes flicked open and he glared at her.

“Well, I need to see if anyone else decided to get hurt while you get pampered,” she said. “I’ll be back in like five minutes, so just don’t die.” Chan gave her a thumbs up and she was gone.

I pulled a chair next to his table, leaning against the side. Chan’s arm only a few inches away from mine.

“Did we win?” He asked before I had a chance to say anything.

“That’s seriously all you want to know? You’re not even going to tell me if you’re okay?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Fine,” I said, “I have no idea, it went into overtime so I came here.” He was silent. “Are you okay?“ I asked again.

He let out a dramatic sigh. “I got the wind knocked the fuck out of me. Seriously, I’ve been hit before but that hurt. You need to check my chest for shoulder marks later.”

My cheeks flushed at the thought of being in front of him while he was shirtless, and I was happy his face was pressed into the leather cushion. I’d seen him shirtless plenty of times, but thinking about it now…

“What’s this?” I asked, brushing my fingers lightly on the wires, trying not to think about brushing them against the bare skin of his back.

“Stim,” he said. “My back was sore from getting knocked into the ground by that asshole and I just thought it would feel nice.” He turned his head at an awkward angle so that he could look at me. I could only meet his gaze for a few seconds before I looked away.

“Do you think it’s over yet?” He asked, breaking the silence that lasted for nearly a minute.

“You could have gotten seriously hurt and you’re still more worried about the game? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

“Hey I am concussion free!” Chan said. “She did the test and everything. I just- I want to know if we won or not! It’s important that we don’t lose to assholes that body slam people!”

He was right, but I had known Chan for too long. He was lying.

“Besides, since when have you been worried about me?” He turned so that he could see me. “When I almost broke my wrist two years ago you said you would rather die than miss the end of the game.”

“That was playoffs!”

“We were up by four goals!”

I opened my mouth to argue back, but he was right. I was different now. I just didn’t have the guts to tell him why.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know I’m not always the best friend to you.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Chan said immediately, brushing his hand against mine. He looked so uncomfortable trying to face me while laying flat on his stomach. I slipped out of the chair, sitting on the floor in front of the table so that he could look straight at me, trying not to think about how he almost held on to my hand.

We stayed like that for a moment, Chan staring into my eyes and me staring right back. In the end I couldn’t take his gaze, looking down at the tile floor and realizing the pattern was really fascinating, even if it was clearly from 1990.

“I’m sorry,” Chan said. “I’m not upset about something from two years ago. I just… I want to tell you something but I don’t know if it’s right and they said I should do it when it’s right but I have no idea what that means, and then they said that maybe it wouldn’t ever be right, so I just… I don’t know.”

I could feel all of my courage crumbling as I looked back at him, dark eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. I felt like he could see right through me.

“Chan…” I said. “You’re my best friend. I’ve known you for so long I don’t think I know who I am without you, and I think that’s what really scares me. You’re like this weird carrot that’s grown next to my carrot and we’ve coiled around each other and they exist on their own as separate carrots, but if they aren’t together, it just looks lonely.”

I peeked at Chan and he was frowning. Not my best metaphor. “I’m trying to say that I don’t like who I am without you. You mean everything to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, too,” he said slowly.

I groaned. “You’re not getting it! I’m trying to tell you that I like you, Chan!”

He quiet for a moment. “Yn, did you just confess to me while I’m laying on a table after being knocked out?”

“When you put it like that…” I stared at my hands. So that’s what I felt like to ruin everything.

“Yn.”

I wondered if I could successfully vanish, maybe start a new life raising sheep in Mongolia.

“Hey,” Chan said, reaching his hand out to brush against my cheek. “You’re an idiot.”

“I feel so much better,” I said, burying my face in my hands. “Thank you for that.”

“Please look me in the eyes for this,” Chan said. As much as I wanted to dig a hole and rot away in it, I couldn’t deny him this, especially not when he was using such a gentle yet firm tone. I forced myself to meet his eyes, finding comfort in the familiarity, even if I knew everything had changed and it was my fault.

“I have been trying to tell you I like you for months and you do it in pretty much the least romantic way possible,” he said. “Seriously, there are electrical impulses being shot down my back.”

“I take it back, I feel nothing,” I said, standing up.

He laughed, that stupid, infectious laugh that never failed to make me smile, reaching out and catching my hand. “Can you give me like five seconds to at least be sitting upright?”

I nodded, still facing the door so that he couldn’t see my smile.

“I might need some help, actually,” Chan said after a moment. “This stuff is kinda stuck to my back.”

I turned to him, taking in the situation. He’d gotten the ice packs off but the pads for stim were stuck to his back. This wasn’t the first time I’d helped him with stim, in fact I’d done it for half the team (albeit usually on their knees or shoulders). Helping Chan now, my cheeks were probably bright red, fingers tingling every time they brushed against his skin. The four pads came off easily and I stuck them back onto the plastic they normally were stuck to, turning off the machine and putting everything back where it should be. When I turned around, Chan was sitting up rolling his shoulders back. If my face wasn’t already a tomato it was now. Chan laughed as I looked anywhere but at him.

“You’re not going to check for shoulder marks?” He asked. He was probably batting his eyes and pretending to be innocent.

I glanced him over, trying hard to force my eyes past his bare chest, then tossed his shirt at him. “Shoulder mark free.”

“Are you sure, because you didn’t look very hard and-”

“Oh my god, Chan, just put on the shirt!”

He laughed, pulling it over his head. “You’re so easy to tease.” He caught my hands when I tried to step away again, gently tugging on them so that I was facing him while he still sat on the table.

“Yn,” he said softly, running his thumbs over my knuckles. “I had a whole plan of how I was going to tell you how I felt. We’d go to that cafe, or sometimes I planned it for the library, and once I even planned to try to tell you on the field. None of them worked because every time I saw you I couldn't figure out a way to get the words in my heart out so that you could hear them.” He held my gaze and I knew he wasn’t lying. I hadn’t lasted a week with these feelings. How had Chan been able to stand it?

“I really, really like you,” Chan said. “And I-”

The door was slammed open and all of a sudden the room was filled with noise. I let go of one of his hands as half the team came streaming in. With the hand he still held, Chan pulled me closer to him until I was shoulder to shoulder with him, lacing his fingers with mine.

“Chan you’re alive!” Seokmin shouted.

“Yeah I was going to go to the light but I remembered you guys are hopeless without me.”

“Hopeless?” Soonyoung laughed. “Just for that I’m not telling you who won.”

“I don’t think that matters anymore,” Jeonghan said, gesturing to me and Chan.

“Hey!” Seokmin shouted. “That’s cheating!”

“What’s going on?” I whispered in Chan’s ear.

“I’ll explain later,” he whispered back, then said to everyone, “I appreciate your concern for my love life, but seriously, did we win or not?”

Seungcheol leaned against the counter with a smug smile. “You think we’d let a team like that win?”

Chan grinned, turning to me. I hoped he couldn’t hear how loud my heart was beating when he turned his gaze on me like that. “Yn, will you go on a date with me?”

I forgot about the team who were hollering around us, forgot about the game, forgot about everything except me and Chan. “Of course.”

Chan only let go of my hand once as we walked back to the apartment, and it was only to let me put on his sweatshirt. As soon as I pulled my arms through the sleeves, his hand was back in mine. It should have felt weird to be this intimate after a lifetime of friendship. It felt like we should have been like this from the beginning.

“You’re sure you feel the same way?“ Chan asked.

“If you ask me one more time I’m going to change my mind,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I had resigned myself to being your b-f ‘best friend,’ not b-f ‘boyfriend.’”

“First of all, Seungkwan is my best friend,” I said.

“Um, wrong, I’ve known you for longer.”

“That’s not the point but I have a feeling you’re going to win this one so I’m just going to give up now.” I turned to look him in the eyes. “But seriously, how long have you liked me? And don’t you dare say from the moment I met you or some bullshit because I know that’s not true.”

“No, I’m not that dramatic. I think the moment I realized it was at graduation.” He smiled at the memory, pausing on the sidewalk.

“Do you remember how we went straight from the ceremony to the beach and that first night we stayed up all night talking about the future and we watched the sunrise over the water?” He waited for my nod. “I remember listening to you talk about your life plans and realizing how lucky I am to know you, and then realizing that I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it.

“Do you know how magical you looked watching the sunrise? I know it’s the cheesiest line ever, but you really were prettier than the sunrise and ever since then I haven’t been able to think of anyone but you.” Chan smiled and my heart felt like it was going to explode. I leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, then suddenly felt shy, turning and continuing to walk. Chan didn’t move until I was tugging on his hand.

“Your turn,” he said after a few moments passed and the heat in my cheeks had finally died down. “When did you realize?”

“Last week,” I said. “Right before you left for the tournament you asked for a kiss goodbye, and I thought it was just a joke but then I spent all weekend thinking about your lips and about how that’s definitely not best friend thoughts, and then I started thinking about you and then I realized that for everything in my life I go to you, and you are the only person in the world who knows how to make me smile when I am having a horrible day, and you don’t complain when I’m being mean or grumpy, and you are the only person I could ever see myself spending the rest of my life with.

“I know it’s not as romantic as watching the sunrise with you and maybe you think these five days aren’t long enough to feel anything as strong as you, but, Chan, I swear I know my heart and you are the only one in it, and the only one that will ever be in it.” It was terrifying to say these things out loud, but I turned to Chan and he had the biggest smile on his face.

He stepped closer to me until there were only a few inches between us, bringing one hand to my cheek. “Can I kiss you?” He asked so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

I nodded, closing my eyes as he leaned closer, nose brushing against mine, and it was not a gentle kiss like mine had been. His hand slid to the back of my head, the other one finally letting go and slipping to hold my waist. I wrapped my own arms around his neck, pulling him as close as I could.

Chan pulled away first, though his arms stayed wrapped around me. “Feedback?”

I laughed, burying my head in his chest. ‘Feedback’ was always for class presentations, or how I thought he did in his last game. “Only if you tell me why your team calls you Dino.”

I disentangled myself from his arms, lacing our fingers back together and beginning to walk again.

“You better not be mad about that because it’s your fault,” he said, catching up to me easily. “Seokmin and Soonyoung saw you spamming me with those dinosaur stickers while we were at an away game and I had to explain to them that you made the nickname when we were six and already a cruel monster.”

“It’s not my fault you cried unless you brought your stuffie to school with you.”

“Don’t you dare tell them that part!” He said. “They’ll never let it go, it’s bad enough I have Seungkwan holding it over me.”

I laughed. “You haven’t explained what was going on in the training room either, by the way.”

“Right.” I glanced at him and he avoided my eyes.

“What is it?”

“It’s embarrassing,” he whined.

“More embarrassing than getting dumped fifteen minutes after the relationship started?”

“You wouldn’t,” Chan said and he was right, but it still worked because he let out a dramatic sigh and kept walking. “Do you remember last week after we lost and we went out to eat and you asked me about what we say in the pregame huddles?” He waited until I nodded to continue. “Well, apparently my crush was obvious to everyone other than you and Seokmin and Soonyoung specifically were determined to ‘help’ me confess so they thought it would be funny to say ‘when we win Chan has to tell yn how he feels,’ but then we lost and someone said that maybe we just weren’t meant to be and it was a joke, but I’ve been overthinking it since then.

“Then today, Seungcheol said it, and I think it was supposed to be a joke but everyone took it really seriously and I don’t know, I really felt like if we didn’t win today then maybe we really wouldn’t ever work out.

“But then you showed up and confessed to me in the least romantic way possible and I realized how dumb I was,” Chan said, grinning.

“You’re kind of an idiot,” I said.

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot,” he said, leaning into me.

“You’re ridiculous.” I tried unsuccessfully to hide my smile.

He snuck closer, pressing a kiss to my cheek, then wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him. I couldn’t think of any more insults to throw at him, so I leaned into him.

“So, are you going to give me feedback on my kissing or not?”

“I’m not sure, I think I need to try again before forming an opinion.”

Chan laughed, turning to face me with a smile that could break hearts. “You better pay attention this time.” He kissed me and I was floating.

When I finally pushed back, he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“Two out of ten, honestly, I’m disappointed, I thought you could do better than this,” I said, pushing his arms off of me before I could react and sprinting away.

“Hey!” He shouted. “I’m still handicapped! I got knocked out today!” Despite his protests, he caught up to me easily, wrapping his arms around me from behind, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“Want to try again?”

“Hm, nope,” I said, giggling when he wrapped his arms even tighter.

“You are so lucky I love you,” he said, pressing another kiss on my cheek. I wondered if he noticed that he let the word slip. I settled my hands on his arms, holding him to me just as tightly as he was. There was a gentle breeze in the air, the streetlights warm and cozy, and I decided I would spend the rest of my life like this, me and Chan, together.

[solaroptile]

hi hello i absolutely love your one shots!! may i request a Camilo x Male Reader?👀

absolutely! you didn't include a prompt so i just generated one

camilo madrigal with an affectionate s/o || camilo x male!reader

pairing(s): camilo madrigal x male!reader

warnings: pure fluff and the slightest bit of angst

word count: 856

summary: you can't help but shower your partner camilo in love and adoration at any given turn. lucky for you, he's just as receptive.

adults/18+ dni camilo's 15 just remember people go to jail for this

(requests are open! please read my pinned post for more info; any requests already sent in are currently being worked on <3)

"ay, amor," camilo hummed, shivering with delight as your fingers raked through his hair once again. "you do know we have more chores to do before the sun sets, right?"

you clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth, a soft smile painted delicately on your features. "they can wait for us," you said quietly in return. "besides, you deserve just a quick break; i noticed when we got here that you're a bit more tense than usual."

it was a warm day within the walls of the encanto. you and your boyfriend camilo had been working tirelessly these last few weeks, whether it be due to chores, an overwhelmingly busy schedule, or just simply not having the time to go see one another, you both were feeling a bit burnt out. as such, you decided today would be a good day to take a break and simply enjoy yourselves. the sun was a constant beam of light in the sky, and it was clear that the rest of the townsfolk were in just about a good mood as pepa.

so, when a majority of your chores were finished for the day, you searched high and low all throughout the town in search of your little shapeshifter and eventually found him entertaining some kids with his gift. while you typically loved to sit still and watch, today was not one of those days, and you swept him away before he could complain otherwise.

eventually you find yourself in a small clearing on the edge of the encanto, hidden away by a circle of large trees providing a canopy of leaves and branches. the borderline intensity of the sun above provided small gaps of light to push through said canopy, illuminating the clearing with just enough to be able to see camilo's face in full view.

you both had been here for at least an hour or two now, and eventually found yourselves curled up together with camilo's head in your lap and his upper body resting against your thigh. your hand found purchase in his hair a while ago, and so you both just sat throwing meaningless conversation topics back and forth as you played with his curly brown locks.

camilo chuckled at your airy dismissal. "i just shapeshifted a lot today, amor. that's all, i promise."

your expression twisted into a small frown. "well, you know that i love you for you, right?" you asked, and detached your hand from his scalp to tip his chin back ever so slightly and make eye contact. "and that you're so much more than your gift, no matter how many people demand you change into someone else more strong or tall?"

camilo hesitated for just the slightest of seconds, and the action would've went unnoticed if it wasn't for how close your face was to his. "i know," he muttered, seemingly unconvinced. "you tell me that all the time, corazón- how could i not?"

"just because i say that doesn't mean you believe me, i know that much," you retorted. "c'mere."

camilo slid off your lap, only to then let you capture him in a tight embrace. "i know you're not going to believe me just because i reassure you all the time. all of that self esteem stuff just comes with time and patience. i just want you to remember that i love you no matter what, amor, for who you are, not what other people want you to be. i tell you that so often because i mean it, and i'll tell you as many times as i have to until you finally start to believe it."

"i know. i know," he whispered, and you swear you could feel camilo inch closer towards you as if he was silently begging for physical comfort. you pulled him as close as physically possible and simply let him attach onto you similar to a koala to a piece of bamboo.

"now, with all of the heavy stuff out of the way, i have a gift for you." your boyfriend perked up at that, and the immediate boost in mood make you laugh under your breath. you let him escape your embrace and instead leaned over to grab a small brown bag you had brought with you on your little escapade. from it you revealed a simple flower crown, entwined with a multitude of flowers from carnations to daisies, and shuffled over to place it atop camilo's head, his eyes sparkling as you did so.

you pulled back to admire his new look, making him laugh in embarrassment. "did isabela make this for you, amor?" he asked, and you quickly shook your head. "100% authentic and not from the hands of your prima, don't worry. i just found some wildflowers and thought they'd look cute on you. i guess i was right."

camilo huffed at that, cheeks flushed a soft red. "when did you become such a sweet talker, corazón?" he asked teasingly, and reached up to adjust the flower crown so it remained perfectly straight atop his head.

"who knows. maybe i finally found someone worth trying for."

[spine-buster]

the secret's out.

gif credit @/9116

A/N: We begin our regularly schedule posting of this series with more fluff and with something that is truly fiction: William Andrew Michael Junior Nylander Altelius having more than one (1) thought.

“So how’s your secret girlfriend?” William asked as he and Rasmus dressed for practice together. Rasmus was busy putting his elbow pads on while William was sitting in his gear, waiting to just put on his jersey.

Rasmus noticed William’s skates weren’t tied yet, and he wanted to tie them together so William would trip and fall. He loved William like a brother, and William was most definitely his mentor, but there was no way he was going to tell him just yet. “I don’t have a secret girlfriend, you idiot.”

***

“Is that your secret girlfriend?” William asked as he watched Rasmus type away on his phone during dinner. Rasmus was texting his brother, but as he was doing so a notification popped up that Lusine had sent him a text too, which led him to smile down at his screen.

“What secret girlfriend?” Jason Spezza barely waited two seconds before chiming in too. He looked between Rasmus and Willy, highly skeptical.

Rasmus rolled his eyes. “I don’t have a secret girlfriend!” he hissed at William.

Jason leaned back in his seat slightly, all of the sudden not so uptight. “Why are you teasing him about a secret girlfriend?” he asked Willy.

“Because he has a secret girlfriend.”

“So?” Jason eyed him. “You had—” he stopped dead in his tracks at the same moment William dropped his fork loudly into his plate of pasta below.

“He had what?” Rasmus asked.

Jason cleared his throat. “He had blue balls for Aberdeen for an entire year. He can’t make fun of anyone else’s love life.”

Rasmus laughed, grabbing William by the shoulder and shaking him. William, for his part, was making a face at Jason. “Best year of our lives being able to make fun of him like that,” he smiled.

“Yeah. It was hilarious,” Willy deadpanned.

***

***

Rasmus had never been intimidated by a building before – not any hockey arena, church, house, what have you – but he was intimidated by Robarts Library. It was just so…big. And ugly. And there was so much going on – so many students and books and workers and computers and just so many…things. That didn’t even take into account the energy of the place: if stress had an origin, it began at Robarts. The only thing was that he was lucky he blended in with most of the students, seeing as he was around their age, anyway. He saw the turnstiles, which were just one obstacle in Operation Find Lusine.

“Fuck it dude. I’m gonna fail anyway, what’s the fucking point?” a guy in a baseball cap and hoodie complained to his friend as they walked close towards Rasmus and the turnstiles.

“Hey bro,” Rasmus got their attention suddenly, not even knowing exactly what he was going to say. “I uh, I forgot my student card upstairs. You mind?”

The guy didn’t even blink twice. “Yeah bro, come on,” he motioned with his head, swiping the card and letting Rasmus through. Well that was easy enough. Rasmus followed them towards the elevators, and as they were waiting, looked up to see where the ‘history’ floor would be.

Only it wasn’t that simple. Of-fucking-course.

For some reason everything started at the 9th floor. And for some reason, things were organized into alphabetical order, not subject.

9th floor

AC–AZ | B–BX | C–CT | D | Oversize

10th floor

DA–DX | E | F–FC

11th floor

G–GV | H–HX | J–JZ | K–KZD

12th floor

L–LT | M–MT | N–NX | P–PM

13th floor

PN–PT | TR,TT | U–UH | V–VM | Z–ZA

Rasmus gulped.

“What floor you need, bro?” the kind young man who had offered his student card asked.

“Uh…9th,” Rasmus said, not quite knowing what exactly he was going to do. Should he work his way up? Down? How the fuck did people do this? He should have thought this through a hell of a lot more, but when it came to Lusine, he didn’t really think much because he was convinced he just knew.

The elevator brought him and the boys up to the 9th floor. They were going to the 12th. “Good luck bro,” one of them said as Rasmus exited, and he nodded back at them as if he was going on a secret mission and it was the last time he’d see them. Both those things were technically true. Once the elevator doors closed, Rasmus was greeted with an absolute behemoth. There were bookshelves everywhere. Desks everywhere. Stress everywhere. He looked towards the wall and saw the floor map, right next to the fire escape instructions.

He took a deep breath.

He looked at every face in every cubby he saw on the inner perimeters first before looking at every face sitting on the outer perimeters in the desks. He’d never seen so many desolate faces in his life. She wasn’t in any of them. So he went up a floor and did the same for all the cubbies and all the desks on the 10th floor. She wasn’t in any of them. So he went up a floor and did the same for all the cubbies and all the desks on the 11th floor.

And there she was. Huddled over, earphones in, a stack of books next to her, typing away furiously on her laptop. He stopped walking and just watched her for a few moments, watched her as she looked back and forth between an open book and her screen, typing out the words before turning the page. He smiled to himself. Rasmus didn’t want to cause a ruckus. He knew that if he did, he’d get nasty stares and probably get kicked out. So all he did was slip into the empty cubby next to her.

When she looked up to see who in God’s name was taking the seat right next to her while there were so many available, her jaw dropped onto the floor. Rasmus was smiling back at her. She pulled her headphones down. “Rasmus?!” she half-yelled, half-whispered, covering her mouth when she realized how relatively loud she was in the silence of the library. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d keep you company,” he whispered, taking his phone out of his pocket and plopping it on the desk.

Lusine couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “How’d you find me?”

“Started on the 9th floor.”

Her heart melted.

***

Rasmus didn’t complain once throughout the four hours they stayed at Robarts. He had been on his phone the whole time, scrolling Instagram or watching hockey highlights. He held down their little two-desk fort when Lusine had to go back in the stacks to find another book, and he tried to give menacing stares at people who tried to sit relatively close to them. He wanted their own space. Lusine needed her own space.

It was just passed nine when Lusine was finished her essay and ready to go. Rasmus helped her put the books she took out on the restock cart. They stepped onto the elevator in silence. When the doors closed, Lusine looked up at Rasmus. “Were you planning to do that the entire time?” she asked.

“Of course,” Rasmus said. “When you texted. I had to see you.”

Lusine swooned. She never imagined a boy saying these sorts of things to her. For such a long time, she didn’t think it would have ever been a reality for her. But Rasmus was real. Somehow. He wasn’t a figment of her imagination. She knew so because she saw him on TV. That had to make him real, right? She would never have guessed a hockey player. “You’re something else.”

Lusine felt his hand cover hers. “You hungry?”

“I’m tired,” she chuckled. “I just wanna go to bed.”

“When’s the essay due?”

“In two weeks.”

“And you’re doing it now?”

“Why wouldn’t I do it now?”

“I don’t know, don’t university students, like, wait to get stuff done until the night before and pull all-nighters?”

Lusine couldn’t help but giggle. For someone who wasn’t going to university and never did, he got the stereotype pretty dead-on. “I’m trying not to be that irresponsible,” she said. “With work and now you, I have to make sure I make time for everything.”

***

Rasmus was with Willy and Aberdeen. They invited him over for a homemade brunch because they wanted to make sure he was getting his proper nutrients. He’d reminded the both of them that in his and Willy’s relationship, he was the cook. That didn’t matter. It was actually quite nice that they invited him over, if he was being honest. Aberdeen knew how to poach eggs, and he’d rather pay zero dollars for Aberdeen’s homemade poached eggs than $20 for poached eggs at some restaurant.

The team had won 5-4 against the Detroit Red Wings last night, but it had been a tight game – tighter than Rasmus would have liked, but they got the win regardless. It was Halloween night at Scotiabank Arena too, and though the team had their own Halloween party earlier in October, it was nice to see some fans, especially kids, get festive. He couldn’t even keep track of how many Auston-style moustaches he saw on the kids pressed up against the glass during warmups.

Lusine had gone out last night to a Halloween party with Bianca and her friends. He’d checked his phone after the game only to see a series of five pictures Lusine had sent him of her in a skin-tight Catwoman costume. He almost didn’t make it home. He had half the mind to ditch his car at Scotiabank Arena and scour every club in Toronto to see if she was there, much like he did in Robarts. But instead, he kept his cool. And he kept looking at the photos until he dozed off and his phone dropped on his face.

She was texting him now, as he was sitting at the table, complaining about her hangover. He tried not to seem too preoccupied with his phone, but the attempt was meaningless. “How’s your secret girlfriend?” William asked as he sat down in his seat, cup of coffee in his hand.

“I don’t have a secret girlfriend,” he mumbled, typing out a message to Lusine about Advil and Gatorade.

“Will you stop with that?” Aberdeen chastised her boyfriend as she put Rasmus’s plate full of food in front of him. “Rasmus, do you want more coffee?”

“Is that who you’re texting now? Your secret girlfriend?” Willy pushed.

“William, will you sto—”

“—She can’t be my girlfriend yet if we haven’t even kissed,” Rasmus blurted out without thinking.

The entire apartment went silent. Rasmus’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach once he’d realized what he’d said. He shot his head up to look at Aberdeen and Willy. Aberdeen’s jaw was on the floor. William’s eyes were bulging out of their sockets. Within a few seconds, William had banged his fist down on the table. “I KNEW IT!!!!!” he screamed.

“Will—” Rasmus tried to say, in Swedish, but it was no use.

“VIIIIINDICAAATIOOOOOOOOOONNN!!!” William screamed at the top of his lungs. “I WAS RIIIIIGHT!”

“You have a girlfriend?” Aberdeen was exasperated, her jaw still on the floor from the shock. “How? When? Who? What?!”

Rasmus facepalmed with both his hands. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Not like this. “Guys, please…” he pleaded.

“Who is she? What’s her name?” William asked. “Give me all the details now, Sandy.”

There was no use trying to hide it any longer. He was caught. He framed himself for that matter. He’d never forgive himself for this. Trying to look for a silver lining, he guessed that if any two people found out first, he was happy that it was his best friend and his girlfriend. “Her name is Lusine,” he revealed.

“Lusine what?”

“Lusine Forrester. She goes to U of T.”

“Oh!” Aberdeen exclaimed. “You got yourself a university girl! I already like her. What’s she studying?”

“History major.”

“This seems promising. What year?”

“Second.”

“Is she from Toronto?” William asked.

“She grew up in like a small town or something outside of Toronto, but like…yeah, she’s from here,” Rasmus said. “She moved to Toronto to go to university. She’s living in an apartment in the Annex right now with a roommate.”

“What’s she look like?”

There was zero percent chance Rasmus was going to show them the pictures she’d sent of herself from last night, so he gave them her Instagram handle instead. Aberdeen typed it in on her phone and William leaned into her to check the profile. “Are you dating a model?” she asked, exasperated, hoping that Rasmus wasn’t turning into another Kasperi. “She’s stunning, Sandy. How on earth did you even meet her?”

“She’s not a model,” he corrected Aberdeen.

“She’s not?”

He shook his head. “I was in a coffee shop and overheard a disaster date she was on and I, like, went up to her pretending to know her to help get her out of it.”

Aberdeen leaned back in her chair dramatically. “Oh my God, Rasmus! Are you kidding me?!”

“Wait,” William said dramatically. “Have you invited her to a game yet?”

“No.”

“Oh, but she has to come!” Aberdeen said. “Invite her on Saturday. Hockey Night in Canada. I promise to take care of her. Me and Bee, anyway.”

Rasmus loved Bee, so the thought of Aberdeen and Bee being with her at the game calmed him down a little bit. If he and Lusine were going to be doing this, coming to a game was a logical next step. He just wondered if it would be too much for her too soon. He didn’t want to jeopardize anything. “Yeah. Okay. Maybe. We’ll see.”

William shook his head, grabbing his knife and fork to finally dig into his brunch. “I’m never letting you live this down,” he told Rasmus before stabbing his poached egg with the knife.

[rek1s-headband]

hi! figured i’d drop a request for you :))! Maybe some general bf hcs for reki and langa? Just in general how they would be as a boyfriend or how they would act in a relationship?

Hi!! Thank you so much for your request, I’ve been excited to do one of these. I hope you enjoy it!

➯ random boyfriend headcannons

➯ characters: Reki Kyan and Langa Hasegawa x gn reader

➯ warnings: none! Just some fluff for these two boys:)

Reki:

-Literally the most enthusiastic person you’ve ever seen. He’d be happy to just sit in silence with you because come on, it’s YOU. There’s no one he’d rather be wasting the hours away with.

-Your biggest hype man, EVER. You post something on Instagram? Get ready for a flood of comments, all from him. You could put your phone down for two minutes after posting, and you’ll come back to 99+ notifications of just reki commenting along the lines of “woah suddenly I’m on one knee” “DAMNNNN” and many, many more.

-Never leave your phone unattended around him. He won’t snoop, but be prepared to come back to your camera roll flooded with just zoomed in pictures of his face, his mouth, his eye, ANYWHERE. Mf is spamming your whole phone with pictures of him for you to come back to.

-He has to always be touching you in some way. Whether it’s holding your hand, your waist, a casual arm around your shoulder, there has to be something. He’ll put his hand on your ass sometimes while you walk in public.

-Honestly doesn’t even think PDA is anything out of the ordinary. Like, you’re his s/o??? Yes you’re in his lap, yes you’re in the middle of the skatepark, so what? You’re his, and he’s happy he can make everyone aware of that.

-I saw a post on here that said he would peel stickers off fruit and stick them to peoples’ foreheads, and I fully stand by this. However, it doesn’t just stop at fruit stickers. Anything remotely sticky, whether it’s tags from clothes, tape from a food box, even random sequins and bits of glitter he finds around, it’s immediately being stuck to some part of your face.

-Loves casual dates. Stopping by food stalls, browsing in clothes and game stores for a few hours, and skating around with you until it’s time to go home is a dream for him. Be prepared for day-long dates, because he will clear his entire schedule just to spend the day with you.

-His family adores you. His mother is always goading him to bring you over more, complaining that she misses her "honorary son/daughter/child". His sisters love you too. Any time you come over there’s immediately three tiny bodies shooting at you, grabbing you by the waist and dragging you over to wherever they’re playing. Reki tries to drag you away, wanting to have you for himself, but you always try and stay for at least five or ten minutes. Secretly, he loves that you get along so well with his siblings, going soft at the thought of how you would act with children of your own.

-He loves playing video games with you. Sitting in his lap, the two of you could spend hours switching from game to game. One minute you could be burning down a village in Minecraft, the next complaining while Reki whoops your ass in Mario Kart. His mom brings you food for your breaks between games, and she’ll even stay for a few minutes to talk to you while Reki shifts underneath you, glowing red from embarassment.

-If you can’t skate, he would beg to teach you. If you accept, he goes all out. He’ll make you your own customised board just for practicing, making sure it’s absolutely perfert for you to learn on. But if you can skate, get ready for endless races and competitions to see who can nail a new trick the quickest.

-Adores when you come to S to support him. He loves looking into the crowd and seeing you there cheering him on before he goes into a beef. If he wins, he’ll race over to where you are in the crowd, picking you up and spinning you around, kissing you without a care in the world. However, if he loses he’s thankful you’re always there to pick him back up and make him feel better afterwards.

-Loves cleaning you up after a big fall, kissing your bruises and cuts better. He’ll carefully wrap each injury with care, telling you how brave you are, no matter how small the cut. Secretly, he loves when you baby him after he falls himself. Seeing you wipe away the blood from a new cut and place a small plaster on it with such tenderness melts his heart in a way only you could.

-Speaking of plasters, this man has one for every occasion. Princesses, pirates, aliens, cats, dogs, sparkles, stripes, you name it, he’s got it.

-The type to sneak you out at two in the morning to get a slushee with him. Honestly, he’s up so late making boards for people he just has no perception of time.

-Spams your phone with TikToks or other funny things that reminds him of you. It could be a very specific thing, or a flower or cloud. If he thinks of you when he sees it(which is fairly often), it gets sent to you.

-Talks with his hands a lot. He’s a very expressive talker, so when he’s telling you a story it feels like you’re right there in the story with him.

-Please just kiss him. His cheeks, his forehead, his hand, his shoulder, his temples, his lips. Anywhere, he’ll melt under you. Mf is touch starved to the max.

-Always knows how to make you laugh. His laugh is infectious, it could get you out of your darkest moods.

-Sleeps with his head on your chest, and one hand in your shirt little perv.

-His social media is like a SHRINE for you. His highlights, his posts, his stories, EVERYWHERE. He’s just so proud to be able to call you his that he wants the whole world to know.

-Kisses in the rain while you run home, skateboards in your hands after the weather forecast failed you once again. He’s just so happy in the moment that he can’t contain himself, so he’s pulling you into him in the pouring rain, kissing you hard while your hair gets drenched.

-You don’t need to steal his clothes, he will literally give them to you because “you just look so cute wearing them”. Occasionally, he’ll take one of your hoodies, and even if it doesn’t exactly fit him, he’ll still keep it near him while he sleeps so he can keep your scent close to him.

Langa:

-This man is so oblivious to obvious hints, but still manages to pick up on the smallest of details? It’s incredible, honestly. He could describe the exact colour of your eyes with the most insane detail, but he still won’t notice when you try and hint that you like him in the first place!

-You two have a bit more of a low-key relationship, but you’ll make your usual appearance in his Instagram posts, or on his Snapchat story with a casual caption like a simple heart, or “my love<3”

-Not very big on PDA, not because he doesn’t like it, but because he doesn’t think of it. However, when he does feel like he’s being too physically distant, he’ll link pinkies with you as you walk along, or rest his head on your shoulder while you watch a video on your phone.

-His mom adores you, which is why Langa despises bringing you to his house. You always seem to leave with seven of his baby photos from his time snowboarding in Canada, a new recipe from his mother that you complimented, another one of his hoodies, and more miscellaneous stuff that you don’t even know how it ended up in your bag. He has a little shelf in your room specifically for this random stuff, and he always adds to the collection when he comes to your house. He’ll leave a keyring, a small toy, a Polaroid, anything honestly.

-Loves dates that you can experience. The movies, aquariums, museums and the zoo are common dates for the two of you to go on, but other than that, he adores going skateboarding with you. He’s been improving, and he loves when you notice little things he’s been picking up on, whether it be a new trick or simply how he balances himself on the board.

-Adores old Disney movies. Yall will binge a ton of them in one day, having full-blown musicals in Langa’s living room. When any of the romantic songs come on, like “So this is Love” from Cinderella, Langa will stand up and offer his hand to you, as the two of you waltz around his sitting room, humming the tune of the song.

-Study dates are frequent with the two of you. If you happen to stay up late studying and fall asleep on each other, his mother will cover the two of you with a blanket, tidying some of your books and leaving with a smile, happy with the knowledge you were making her son the happiest he’s been in quite a while.

-Slow dancing in the kitchen while you cook is a regular. When a particularly sappy love song comes on while he stirs the pot, he’ll turn around and hold you close to him, twirling you around the kitchen.

-Reki constantly jokes that he is a third wheel, poking fun at the two of you, Cherry and Joe, and Shadow and “his little girlfriend back at the flower shop”. He’ll hang out of Miya, whining about them having to stick together since they’re the only two “lone wolves”. He’ll usually get a well-earned thump into the back of the head from Miya, but it’s still funny to watch the whole thing go down.

-Tends to be shy when giving you clothes, so instead of asking you to wear them he’ll leave them out in places he knows you’ll find them, or he’ll come up behind you and plop it in your lap, murmuring about how cute it would look on you.

-Please do this man’s makeup. He will sit so still for you, waiting patiently while you dab eyeshadow at his eyes, trying not to blink so you don’t mess up his mascara. He’ll sit there mesmerised for a few minutes, taking in how he looks, and simply whisper “you do this every day?”

-Evem though he’s not a very openly affectionate person, he is stuck to your hip behind closed doors. He’ll lie in your lap for hours, staring up at you while you mess with his hair, pulling it into little plaits and pigtails.

-I can’t even describe how the two of you sleep. It’s simply a mass of limbs, and no one knows exactly what belongs to who. Somehow one of yall will end up upside down, and-why is Langa on the floor??

-He could talk about his time in Canada for hours, and you’d just lie on his chest and listen to him. Every once in a while he’ll look down at you to see if you’re still listening, and his heart will melt a little every time he sees you staring back up at him, eyes wide with interest.

-This man NEVER gets jealous. You’d literally have to cling to another man for it to click in his brain that Oh. He doesn’t like that.

-He’s not big on texting, but if you call him he will stay on that call with you for hours, even after the two of you fall asleep.

-Whenever he falls(which is quite often), you’ll always have plasters on hand to help fix him up. He always flushes bright red when you kiss his cuts better, and never knows just what to do with himself afterwards.

-When he skates against tough opponents, you’ll always give him a kiss for good luck. Of course, this doesn’t stop you worrying, but you know Langa wouldn’t go out of his way to get injured. And if he does, well, at least he’ll have you there to kiss his bruises better.

[starglitterz]

HI DUDHWHWH IT STILL SAYS YOUR EVENT IS OPEN SO I HOPE IM NOT TOO LATE BUT I THOUGHT OF A LAST MINUTE ORDER!!! Can I have a chocolate caramel(celebrity au!!) pudding? (Zhongli, Childe [separately]) The reader would be a normal person, preferably not a fan of the two but happen to get noticed by them? Maybe they come across one of y/ns posts, or they bump into her or somethignjehdh but it’s up to you! Those were just some ideas :3 Thank you!

HIIIIII AKJSKASD DW YOU WERE JUST IN TIME HAHA

request; zhongli fluff, celebrity au, normal reader who isn't a fan

childe ver will be posted tmrw and linked here !

please reblog ! it helps a lot :)

( @viagiraffe )

zhongli.

zhongli honestly has no idea how or why on earth he is so popular, or why he tends to have fans swooning over his incredibly deep voice whenever he answers an interviewer. his manager claims it's because he's the type of guy who seems rare nowadays - polite, kind, friendly, smart... the list goes on and on. zhongli really appreciates the support of his fans, and he knows he'd be nowhere without them, but sometimes it truly does get overwhelming. so today, he's decided he's going to take some time off for himself.

zhongli's at his favourite cafe, it's one he used to frequent back when he was still a d-list celeb who had no chance of being recognised and mobbed. he hasn't been here in ages, and the familiar ambiance washes over him like a warm hug. a sigh of relief escapes his throat, causing him to tug his mask higher up on his face to hide his features. he's really praying that nobody notices him, because he likes the quiet tranquility of this hole-in-the-wall cafe, it's like his little secret which he doesn't want to share, not to mention the fact that he doesn't feel like dealing with the paparazzi today.

"hi sir, welcome to genshin cafe! what can i get for you on this lovely spring day?" you skip up to him and ask, already whipping out your pen and notebook to jot down his order. zhongli holds his breath as he turns to face you, though it's almost knocked out of his lungs as he realises just how gorgeous you are. he thanks celestia the mask conceals his expression, because he doesn't even want to think of how embarrassing it would be if you caught him gaping at you. "i'd like a cup of glaze lily tea and a couple of scones, please," he quickly formulates a coherent reply, hoping you don't mention the pause before he answered. you tuck the pen back into your pocket with a shining grin, "sure, coming right up!"

eventually you come back to serve him the dishes, with a friendly wish, "i hope you enjoy your meal, sir." "thank you, i'm sure i will," zhongli says, smiling up at you before taking a sip of the tea. his eyes widen in surprise, and he files a question away in his mind before starting to snack on the scones. later, as he's paying the bill, he asks, "did you brew tea from earlier?" you ring up the total, glad that he isn't complaining about it, "yup! did you like it?" "honestly speaking, it was one of the best brewed cups i've ever had the pleasure of tasting," zhongli compliments you, genuineness spilling into his tone, "how did you do it?" giggling, you wink, "that's a secret! perhaps you'll be able to find out if you meet me after work."

he laughs, "i think i will," prompting you to chuckle in reply as you hand him the receipt. and when zhongli notices the hastily scrawled phone number with the message 'call me' scribbled onto the piece of paper, he doesn't bother thinking about what his manager will say, or his fanbase, or his co-workers - he's just too full of excitement to meet with you later. was this what those characters he played in his long repertoire of movies meant when they talked about love at first sight?

quill speaks !

hiii i hope u liked how i wrote ur request ! i think it turned out p cute :]

aaaa i'm too tired to write a long a/n HAHA

sooo i hope you enjoy your stay at quill’s dessert cafe, and do check out the menu if you'd like ! 🍭

© starglitterz 2021. do not repost or modify in any way.

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing v.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 2, 435

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a glimpse into the past

“Yes. I’ve literally just stepped foot into my apartment.” Jungkook huffs with his phone between his ears and his shoulders as he attempts to multitask, hands moving a box of the dining table.

But Jimin is persistent and he’s yapping his ear off, something about dropping by in a few but Jungkook is barely paying attention, not when the existential crisis of no longer being a high school student that could hide under an institution with a false sense of security. College was different. He was on his own, even with the presence of his friends; and Jungkook was both terrified and excited.

He’d always dream of the start of his college life. Jungkook was a bit of a dreamer, and he aimed to live out the best life possible; all while trying to juggle his academics and do some extracurriculars on the side. When he told Taehyung about his ambitions, his friend just blinked and him and offered a snort; with an almost taunting pat on his shoulder.

You’ll see.

Jungkook didn’t know what he meant then, and he can only wait to find out.

“Do you need help moving in? Tae and I just finished a lecture and we’ve got the rest of the day off.” Jimin asks over the phone, and while Jungkook wants to start off his journey being independent; there were boxes of his belongings that looked way too unappealing to deal with alone.

“You’d to that?” Jungkook sighs, eyebrows furrowing when he searches for the box that goes into his bedroom.

“Come on, Kook.” Jimin whines, “You think your own hyungs won’t help you out?” His jibe is lighthearted, which only makes Jungkook roll his eyes at his friends' words.

“I know.” Jungkook affirms, “Just college life, you know? Thought you’d be busy having your third existential crisis of the week to help out.”

Jimin snorts over the line, “Try this day, kid.”

Jungkook chuckles, and mumbles something under his breath before puffing; grabbing his phone with his hand as he thinks of a question he’s meant to ask for a while, ever since he stepped foot onto campus and his accommodation.

“Is ____ with you?” Jungkook asks.

Jungkook did so some growing in the time after you’d graduated, and he supposes that he relied a little too much on you as well as Jimin and Taehyung growing up in high school. Because once the three of you graduated, Jungkook was essentially left to fend for himself when you no longer were able to pick him up with a call away or help him out with difficult math problems when you had college to worry about.

It was horrible at first, purely because Jungkook missed you and your kindness. Sure, phone calls and texts worked—but your presence was always more than what words could ever offer, and Jungkook found himself searching for other methods to survive the next two years in high school without you there looking over him.

His football teammates had always been just his football teammates until he was forced to fraternise with them on a deeper level, and he realised that they weren’t too bad. They were fun and full of life, definitely the type of people that he found himself having fun with. He’s always been surrounded with people that were older than him, you, Jimin and Taehyung for example—and having peers his age to hang out with was a pandora box he never knew he’d ever get used to.

Take Eunwoo for example. Jungkook was petrified of him because there was no way a sixteen-year-old could look that could, and if he looked like that before puberty finished its course—then what the hell was he going to look like after?

But he was a nice guy, a fun person to hang out with and he definitely taught Jungkook some things he’d never dare ask Jimin or Taehyung. Things about women and men; the interrelationships that could be navigated with enough practice.

And enter Yuna, the first girl he’s ever had the ability to get to know in his life besides you. It was the typical cheerleader-meets-footballer trope that Jungkook would always scoff at, but according to Eunwoo “it’s only right that the same type of people minded together.”

Jungkook furrowed his brows when Eunwoo clasped him on his back when he told him that with a wink, suggestive eyes when he exposed a not-so-secret that Yuna had on Jungkook after one of their football games during his senior year.

But Jungkook thought otherwise, probably because he remembered you telling him that people were fundamentally different and social interactions with different walks of life only made life more beautiful and worth living. Seeing the diversity in cultures and experiences opens up our hearts to a world that doesn’t exist for us—it keeps us humble.

Jungkook blindly agreed then, likely entranced with you in general to consider the weight of your words. But Eunwoo was like a constant reminder, and he was older then—a little more subdued enough to pay attention to the words of his friend.

And when Jungkook continued his high school life, it seemed like more and more people seemed to pay attention to him. It wasn’t like he was unpopular before, he definitely caught the eyes of many—but it was different then. It was like Jungkook was his own person and people thought he was cool enough to approach.

So when Yuna shyly asked him out for a date, Jungkook said yes even though he still thought of you.

And when Eunwoo slapped a pack of condoms into his palm while his other football teammates hollered, Jungkook took the leap of faith and lost his virginity the same night.

So, yeah. Jungkook did some growing up—and he hopes that it’ll be enough for you to see him as a man.

“—she’s always doing so much that she barely has time for us and I get that she’s always been an overachiever but we miss her, you know?” Jimin complains, and Jungkook just about returns back from his flashback.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Jungkook says sheepishly.

“Were you not listening to me rant for the past five minutes?” Jimin exasperates and Jungkook hears some shuffling and a chuckle, possibly coming from Taehyung, on the other end of the line.

“You do have the tendency to go off tangent, Jimin,” Jungkook mutters.

Jimin scoffs, “It’s called paying attention to the details you brat. But anyway, to sum it up for you since you wanna be annoying—_____ isn’t with us. She’s got this student council thing and a meeting with a bunch of ambassadors visiting the campus in the evening.”

Jungkook blinks, taking a moment to process the information. He smiles fondly to himself, realising that you always did fine on your own—and he supposes it’s always been that way. You were quiet and never imposing, but you still did your best.

“Oh.” Jungkook says, “Will I be able to see her soon?”

Jimin snorts on the other end.

“Why are you asking me? You have her number right?” Jimin retorts, “Though it may be difficult reaching her cause she takes like five business days to reply if you aren’t work-related.”

Jungkook chuckles while he fiddles with his thumb. He can see you working hard, eyebrows furrowed as you type out emails and organise events like the efficient woman you were.

He’s seen pictures of you on social media, courtesy of Jimin and Taehyung who’d post stories of your pouts when they’d drag you out for some social time, according to their captions. And God, did you grow up even more beautiful than you were in high school.

Jungkook saw you as the girl he admired in high school and it was mostly his puppy-loved up brain thinking of you like this super smart and out of his reach senior that he wanted to respect. But now that Jungkook was … older. He still thinks you’re admirable and smart, but he can’t lie and say he didn’t notice other things.

Like how certain tops flatter your collarbones so nicely that he wonders what it’s like to sink his teeth into them. Or how you’ve experimented with tennis skirts that look like easy access for a territory Jungkook’s used as one of many of his spank bank materials. Even the way your eyes innocently glance up in pictures makes Jungkook’s brain hazy.

Jungkook was older, and so were you. The two of you were in college and it was different. You weren’t just his high school senior and he wasn’t just the little kid that worshipped you. It was free game and Jungkook wanted to make to most out of it.

“I will.” Jungkook nods with a declaration and a sense of determination in his chest. “What time does she finish?”

A brief moment of silence until Jimin responds, snorting to himself.

“She usually gets off her meetings at—10 pm?” Jimin ponders out loud. “You’re really going to wait for her?”

Jungkook wants to add he’s been doing that all this while, but keeps it to himself.

“Just can’t wait to see her.” He shrugs casually.

“You still have that schoolboy crush on her?” Jimin teases. But Jungkook doesn’t flush this time. He’s had his handful of experiences to navigate his way with feelings and desire.

“Not a crush.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. But he wasn’t going to admit that to Jimin or Taehyung just yet. “Is it bad to want to see an old friend?”

“Whatever you say, Jungkook.” Jimin sing-songs. “But I will warn you; _____ isn’t the type.”

At this, Jungkook furrows his eyebrows.

“What?”

Jimin sighs, “Whatever it is you’re thinking … stop.” And his words oddly set off an uneasy feeling in Jungkook’s chest that he doesn’t like. “You know _____. She’s not the kind of person that dates or fucks around. I don’t think she’s even looked at any guy on campus ever since we were enrolled two years ago.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, feeling slightly ashamed that he’s been caught so early on. But along with growing up, Jungkook’s grown quite a bit of an ego too.

“What makes you think I want to fuck her? What if I really just miss her?” Jungkook snaps.

“Kook, I love you and you’re my best friend but I’ve seen your Instagram stories and escapades. I have no problem with you being sexually active or whatever—you do you, as long as it’s consensual and within respectable boundaries. I know you think college is like this unobstructed territory where you can just fuck around with people but _____ really isn’t like that. I’ve been there and I’m telling you to drop it.”

Jungkook clenches his jaw, “You’ve wanted to fuck her?” Jungkook accuses.

He can practically hear and feel Jimin’s eye roll over the phone.

“No, you idiot.” Jimin sighs, “I’ve had the same intentions as you with other women. While they may be receiving and comfortable with that, _____ won’t be. I hear and recognise your tone and I’m warning you against it.”

Jungkook purses his lips, wanting to defend himself further. But he realises, who is Jimin to tell him what to do with his life? He isn’t a kid anymore.

“You’re reaching.” Jungkook tells Jimin, “You don’t have to worry okay? I just miss ____ and I want to see her before orientation on Friday. Is that a crime?”

“Again, I don’t know what you really want so I won’t project anymore. But I’m telling you, ______ is _____. You don’t think dudes have tried with her before?”

Somehow the revelation of the fact that you did have two years to mingle around with other people and potentially get with men (or women) that weren’t him causes a different type of dread to fill his stomach, an ugly emotion of jealousy. One that he’s never felt before and he doesn’t like it at all.

“God, I haven’t even seen you yet and you’re already micromanaging my entire life.” Jungkook scowls.

“The double standard is real.” Jimin scoffs, “You used to follow _____ around like a lost puppy when we knew each other first? I feel betrayed, man.” Jimin is joking but the reminder makes Jungkook still.

"That's ... different." Jungkook protests.

Jimin snorts as if he doesn't believe his friend.

"Oh, it is different all right. You, my friend, are whipped." He snickers, "Too bad the two of you are basically polar opposites, huh?"

Jungkook freezes on the other end when Jimin casually lets it slip the thought that somewhat plagues his mind, too.

"We're not that different." Jungkook defends himself.

"Says you Mr Athlete all throughout high school. I bet you ten bucks that you were already recruited by one of the football dudes here."

Jungkook scowls because Jimin was spot on.

"Okay. I do sports and she doesn't. That's it." Jungkook snaps.

Jimin clicks his tongue, "You're all for the attention, dude. _____ always keeps it on the down-low while you do your best when people are cheering you on. It's like the spotlight follows you wherever you go and she does her best avoiding it."

Jimin clenches his jaw because while Jimin's words were lighthearted, and he knew better than to ever put you down because the three of you were all good friends—the fact that someone as close to the two of you as Jimin; was laying out the obvious makes Jungkook doubt himself a lot more.

"Oh, and you're the best at psychoanalysing people right?" Jungkook sneers.

Jimin snickers on the other end but Jungkook can't find it in himself to laugh.

"Relax. I'm joking, all right?" Jimin reassures his friend. "You don't even like her that way, right? That's what you said anyway."

Right. He didn't. That's what he told Jimin.

"Right," Jungkook says stiffly.

"If the two of you ever ended up together, though ..." It's as if Jimin was the one dead-set on pushing for it as Jungkook wishes for him to drop it. "Nah. It wouldn't happen. It probably wouldn't work out either."

Jungkook forces a dry chuckle before muttering a lame excuse and hanging up.

He loved Jimin, the guy was a good friend on an average day and an absolute sweetheart on better ones. And Jungkook knew that Jimin meant no malice when he spoke of the potential relationship between you and Jungkook because, well ... Jungkook has always been the younger guy. And that would be weird, wouldn't it?

But Jungkook knows he's done some growing up. And he'll prove it—in whatever way possible.

Jimin doesn’t need to know.

[candlelight27]

Reiner - NSFW Alphabet

Reiner x F!reader

A/N: I really wanted to write something for Reiner and this happened! I hope you enjoy it. I might have added way too much drama for a simple nsfw alphabet but I have so many strong feelings for Reiner that I CAN'T. I'm just a simp... Okay, so keep in mind I made this thinking of post-timeskip Reiner.

Warnings: NSFW, obviously. Smut, fluff, angst. Some kinks discussed.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

First things first, he’ll help you get cleaned up. He will either get a clean rug or you’ll share a shower. He won’t leave you alone, asking if you’re okay, if you need help, leaving several kisses on your shoulders and lips.

He’s rather emotional afterwards too. When you are lying on your bed in the dead of the night, he doesn’t understand how you are able to love him after all he’s done. He embraces your body and buries his face right in the crook of your neck. Reiner inhales your scent as you trace random patterns in the broad expanse of his back. He trembles in the slightest of manners, and you hear a faint sob, but you don’t say anything. You let him stay like that for as long as he likes. Sometimes it takes five minutes for him to calm down, while other times, it takes hours. But you don’t mind, and let his warmth surround you. He’s ever grateful of your love and carefulness. It’s not easy to forget all he’s done, and it’s even more difficult to accept he must live with the weight of his sins, so these moments of some kind of normality crush him. But you’re there, ready to help him.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He might be biased because of his training as the Armoured Titan, but he loves his arms and back. Reiner is strong and he uses it to his advantage. It makes him feel powerful and in control, more so when he has an opportunity in bed to show off his strength. He’s always elated when you absentmindedly caress his shoulders, arms and back.

Risking being vulgar, Reiner adores your ass. He takes a handful whenever he can – yes, even in public. If you wear something that accentuates your rear, the blond completely loses it, and it takes all his willpower not to kiss you and take you right there and then. During sex, it turns him on to see it, so he’s all into fucking in front of a mirror, or any position that lets him stare at your bum.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Reiner’s favourite place to cum is inside of you. He’s always a little scared, even with all the preventive measures, because the last thing he wants is getting you pregnant. Still, as a forbidden fruit, Reiner will enjoy every moment he’s releasing his seed inside of you, filling you to the brim. Unless you’ve gone a few rounds, Reiner’s cum is usually thick and abundant, always leaving a mess behind.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Reiner legit steals your underwear. He will regret it afterwards. But he does it anyways and more than once, he’s masturbated to your smell. To be fair, he would also steal other items that smell like you for those times you’re not around. Your scent helps him fall asleep and comforts him a lot.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He wasn’t that experience, although he had done the deed before. You live in a world where you could die in any moment, so he hasn’t held his urges that much. However, until he met you, he hadn’t let any of his previous partners see his most vulnerable side. Reiner always had that façade of confidence and assurance, that he always knew what he was doing, when in reality he was just faking it and hoping no one would notice. With you, that came to an end and he finally admitted he wasn’t as sure as he was supposed to be. Of course, it led you to a journey of exploration and you’d confidently say he’s now an expert. Reiner knows your body like the back of his hands, and he know exactly what to do to make you moan the way he likes. And of course, he’s an expert in making you cum whenever he wants, and for him, that’s enough experience.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

His favourite position is the one where you ride him with your ass facing him. He loves the view of your rear, that you can use him as you like for your own pleasure and that he can touch wherever he wants. He just sees advantages this way. Reiner would start eating you out while you were on all fours, getting you wet and ready for his cock. He’ll take his time as he savours your essence. Then, with his strong arms, he’d help you slide into his dick and grope your waist and your butt.

Since you often complain of him getting the best views, he’s committed to try as many positions as humanly possible. So, every other day, it’s an adventure.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It really depends on Reiner’s humour. Sometimes, when sadness hits him, he just wants the solace of your body. During those times, he barely talks, and you answer to his silent pleas with actions rather than words. On the other hand, when he’s in a good mood, he loves teasing you. He’ll banter until you get slightly offended, all heated and cute, and then kiss you everywhere.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Reiner doesn’t have that much time to shave, so he just does labours of maintenance from time to time. And yes, the carpet matches the drapes. He’s got a dirty blond mop of hair down there.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

The blond gets too into it. He looks at you in the eye and smiles adoringly. He whispers sweet nothings in your ear when he’s embracing you, your skin on his. He repeats all the time how much he loves you, how amazing you are. Reiner’s the whole romantic package. It may backfire, though, because if it becomes too emotional, he might cry. He doesn’t believe he deserve any happiness, much less with you involved, so an uncontrollable, deep horror takes his heart until he can’t take it anymore. Thankfully, your reassuring words help him forget all those intrusive thoughts. You’re quite used to Reiner’s ups and downs, so it won’t ruin the mood that much, and you will continue your activities at some point during the night – or right away if Reiner insists.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he steals your underwear, it’s inside his coat’s pocket. Reiner takes them with one big hand, while the other goes to his girthy cock. He’s working on paperwork, most likely, and alone in his room or an office. He starts slowly pumping his dick up and down, turned on by your smell. Then, he thinks of the last time you were with him and his pace increases until he can’t take it anymore.

His favourite place to masturbate is the shower, though. His muscles relax under the hot water and he can let go all the tension that’s been accumulating there all day. Reiner can spend hours there. And he’s so kicked back, that his hands slowly roam his body and find his dick. He will lean against the wall, supporting himself with this free arm. His quiet moans get drowned by the noise of the shower, and he can take as long as he wants. So he strokes himself slowly, lazily into completion. One of the best parts is that he doesn’t have to clean all the mess he leaves, since he’s already under the running water. One of the worst parts is that he’s alone and, even though he enjoys it, but it’s not the same as being with a partner.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Is dry humping a kink? Because he adores it. Reiner loved watching your body rub against his with clothes on. This way, he can see how your face becomes more and more desperate for him to take you, and he loved the feel of being needed. So, yeah, he’s all into you both wherever you are – the chair, the sofa, the bed – making out, his tongue exploring your mouth, while you are riding his thigh, or your crotches rub together.

Reiner is into spanking, too. Not as a punishment. He’s just so turned on that he forgets all his manners and morals and spanks you sporadically. However, when the skin he’s hit turns red, he regrets it deeply. He feels bad, because it reminds him of all the harm he’s done, and you are always so loving… You like it anyways, so when you see the shadow of doubt grace his face, you reassure him that you enjoy it just as much as him. He still feels like a brute, but a happy one.

Finally, edging. Reiner has never had the reins of his own fate. Never. He became a warrior to please his mom and basically, his life has been determined by the decisions of other people. Most of the time, he feels helpless. Therefore, his love for edging roots in the control it grants him. He can decide when you are going to cum, when he’s going to give you your reward, and he loves that. It’s weird, because he’s not usually attracted by the idea of dominance over you, but this does it for him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Truth be told, he’d make love to you anywhere. He likes the risk of both of you being caught, so I’d say an unfrequented yet public place. And he’ll never lock the doors, because there’s something appealing at someone seeing with their own two eyes that you love him, that he’s a great lover and that you chose him. He might be into exhibitionism a bit, but at the same time, he’s too shy to be open about it. In the end, he’ll try; Reiner kisses you deeply in the secluded but risky space, like the cleaning supplies closet, but just when things get heavy and sexy and you slide your hands to grab his dick, the blond proposes moving to somewhere more private. You’ll tease him a lot, and you’ll convince him to have sex in a place where you’ll get caught. On those rare occasions, you notice Reiner is hornier than usual. Actually, whenever you are in bed, just the fleeting mention of those episodes makes him lose his mind.

Other locations he enjoys, or rather pieces of furniture, are armchairs and sofas. The close contact it gives you, because you can’t lie down, makes him be able to reach any part of your body and cage you, so he’s all into it. Besides, it’s quite refreshing from always doing it on the bed. And it’s a plus if it’s not his or yours, for tainting an space that’s not yours adds to the spice and the fantasy.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your whole self gets him going. You ass, mainly, but also your cute and gorgeous face, your voice, your body… When you dress up for him, it’s a treat. There’s no better gift. He can’t believe how lucky he is that someone like you loved him. Apart from those things, what gets him going is dirty talking. Mention his kinks and he’ll be up and ready to fulfil his duty. He’s filled with energy, love and anxiousness, so Reiner is nearly always up for sex.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Reiner is a bit possessive, so I think a threesome would be kind of a turn off, even though he might enjoy it if he tries it with someone he trusts. He’ll be reluctant to try toys, simply because the idea makes him all shy and uneasy.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Our favourite blond gives oral like a starved man. Your taste enticed him, and he can never get enough of you. He laps and laps all over your clit time after time, then lets his tongue roam inside your hole. At some point, he uses his fingers as well, because he doesn’t have the heart to tease you and wants to make you come. He’s going to give you more orgasms afterwards, so he won’t skimp on the pleasure he gives you.

There are few times in which you give him a blowjob and he’s not eating you out. During those rare occasions, he treats you as if you were made out of glass. His fingers caress your face and your hair delicately, and he tries staying as still as he can. Even when you scratch his thighs lightly, or play with his balls, he’ll behave, as disciplined as the soldier he is.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Reiner always starts slow and sensual, but it doesn’t last long. Not in the least. He gets impatient and once his mind is set and he sees you like it, his rhythm becomes relentless. It’s quite the experience, to be ravished in that way, but he can’t help it. Yet, in the rounds following the first one of the day, he’ll relax and control himself better. That’s when your most tender moments during sex are shared. He’s no longer chasing your high, but enjoying the moment, and you share loving words. This can last a lot, until you are oversensitive and cum because you’ve been at it for so long, you can’t take it anymore. Reiner, on the other hand, just comes at the same time because he can’t contain himself when you’re contracting around his cock.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn’t like quickies. If there’s no other option, he’ll take it. Sometimes you can’t see each other as frequently, and you’ll have a mere hour together, so those are the occasions where he might accept a quickie, but it’s not his style. He needs his time to properly adore you. Otherwise, it leaves him cold a confused. Reiner considers quickies a bit soulless and he gets a bit paranoid that you’re distant or angry. Because of this, he prefers avoiding quickies altogether, because even though he knows those thoughts aren’t real, they make his heart ache even more in your absence.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Reiner likes to experiment different positions. He will try every position at least once – or almost any position. And he takes mental notes of the ones you enjoy the most, for real. Yet the only real risk he takes is having sex in semi public places, and it happens really far in between and at your constant begging. Reiner loves the idea of exhibitionism but can’t handle his shyness.

When it’s late at night, and you are in an office where anyone can enter, you kiss his lips with passion. He knows where this is going, and he’s torn. But your lips are so soft, and your hands roam across the muscles of his shoulders and arms… and he’s forgotten almost everything already. He’s sat on an armchair, so you climb onto his lap, straddling him with your legs. Your fingers begin to undo the buttons of his shirt, and his dick is already hard and pressed against your sex.

“What are you doing?”, he murmurs.

“Nothing”, you answer. You slowly sway your hips back and forth and Reinter lets out a moan. You let your tongue roam his mouth as you pull on the blond locks of his hair, then his hands find your waist. He’s squeezing you, and he answers to your movements with his own.

There are voices outside, but you don’t care. You undo his pants, and his dick breaks free. You discard your underwear, grunting at the lost of contact, but quickly come back to him.

“So?”, you tease.

“Let me have you already”, he sighs. You’ve caught him unarmed, and he’s ready to surrender. During the hour you are there, nobody interrupts you, but the noise outside is constant. You know he notices because his cock twitches every time. But you can see, at the same time, that he’s having way too much fun.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Reiner’s first round is usually the shortest, because he’s dying to have sex with you. Still, compared to other guys, it’s a long period of time. But once he’s come and breathe a bit, he wants more rounds. And this time, he’ll last much longer because he will be focused on enjoying all you have to offer instead of being overwhelmed with your presence. Reiner, all in all, is a guy with a lot of stamina, and being a warrior only enhances that aspect.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own toys and he’s reluctant to use them. You might be able to convince him little by little. First, you could introduce him with toys he can use with you… but it will take long and a lot of patience.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

You tease him way more that he does tease you. Instead, he loves to spoil you, and even when he’s edging you, if you plead way too much, he’ll let you come. He’s got a heart of gold deep inside, and he can’t avoid not giving you something you want. Reiner’s just like that, attentive and helpful.

He enjoys teasing you with words, though. And he’ll tease you about every little thing you can think of. Until he finds a certain aspect that particularly irritates you, which he will use to his own benefit. He loves when you seem angry, but can’t resist his advances.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s usually silent, releasing a moan here or there. But he will dirty talk a lot, so be ready. He starts with obscene sentences, but he softens and ends up being a flustered mess saying loving words. But the things he says, corny or not, do turn you on.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Modern AU! Reiner is not the kind of guy to send dick pics. However, the first time you were sexting, he sent a video without a warning. You hadn’t even sent each other a picture, so it caught you by surprise. It was incredibly sexy, as he was caressing his dick through his underwear, then taking it out and pumping it up and down. However, it took a few minutes to reach, which were enough to make Reiner paranoid. He started apologizing, until you phoned him and told him to come to your place right away.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Reiner is not the longest, but he’s thick. And when I mean thick, I mean that he has to make an effort to make you wet and ready for him. You love it, because it fills you completely and you can feel every little movement, so the stimulation washes over your whole body. He’s very confident in the way he makes you feel, so he likes his size. It’s also slightly curved upwards and a bit to the right, and his head is bright pink. He has foreskin and there’s a big vein gracing the left side. He’s never really thought about his dick at any level – he hasn’t done that thing of comparing his prick to his friends’ – but he can feel his heart swell with pride when you compliment him and praise him, and when you worship him with your mouth.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

This man always wants sex. Unless he’s really, really sad, in which case he needs a good hug… and it sometimes leads to sex because your body pressed against his own and he can’t control his urges. Fortunately, you’re almost always as needy as him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Reiner has a lot of troubles falling asleep. You’re more likely to drift off first. He’s always dwelling on something, but he won’t be anxious. Instead, when your asleep right next to him, even if he’s awake, he feels calm and a sense of peace.

[loving-all-for-loki]

Your writing is so wonderful! Could I maybe request something comforting? I’m currently recovering from a surgery to repair my foot with bone anchors and I’ll be bed ridden for 6 weeks. Maybe something with Loki being very supportive and caring for the reader 24/7, moving into her room etc. and the team are just surprised at how helpful he’s being to her. 🤗.

A/N: I’m sorry if I posted this at a weird time, but I have the next chapter to my series Voiceless Love coming out and I wanted to give this fic some time to be seen before that got posted. It’s also a little short, but I felt like this was perfect as a short and sweet fic, instead of a 2k+ story, haha. Also, I know it isn’t 100% exactly what you wanted, but I get stuck with one idea and run with it, oops. I hope you are getting better with your foot. That stinks so much and I’ve been there with my own ankle injuries. If you have any requests for some fics while you recover, send them my way! I always need some inspo and if I can give you some entertainment during your recovery, that would be great. Now, read this, get some sleep, and drink some water. I hope you heal nicely <3

Lucky

Loki x reader

Word count: 1533

Warnings: Pure fluff, just fluff, fluffiness, maybe a bit of sexualizing Loki (I couldn’t help myself)

Seeing your friends carrying big heavy boxes for you swells your heart. It’s also hilarious to see Thor actually struggling to carry something. Tony finds it amusing too given that he’s not doing any of the work but it’s sipping mimosas next to you. Thor grumbles about getting all the heavy boxes, but you also know Sam and Bucky purposely avoid the big ones.

If someone were to tell you ten years ago that you’d be saved from getting tortured by Hydra and become an Avenger, you’d tell them they’re delusional, but this is your life. Even after years of torture and pain, you considered yourself lucky. You could have been the new Soldat, ruined over and over again to be a war machine, but now you’re a trained assassin like Bucky and Nat with a broken leg.

You lean yourself against a wall in your room with your crutches beside you (along with Tony, of course, that lazy bum). Steve, Bucky, and Thor are carrying in boxes while Sam, Nat, and Peter help unpack some things. Today is the day you officially move into the tower with the rest of your teammates and due to your current disability, the other avengers offered to help you. Another reason why you consider yourself lucky.

Peter is by far the most adorable on the team. He’s fully unpacking for you, even arranging the frames on your shelves and the organizers on your desk. He at point made your bed when Steve brought in your blankets and sheets. Bucky has been super sweet, too, giving you funny looks every time he passes by and asking where the best spot for the box he is carrying to go.

But the one “avenger” you didn’t expect to be as helpful as he is, is Loki. The others told him to move out of the way, not wanting his condescending attitude to ruin the fun day, but Loki started to carry boxes in as well. The first time, the avengers were stunned by him, but then they were gracious because he used his magic to transport them, making the job go by quicker. Loki just stands at the bottom of the truck outside and wipes his hand over each cardboard box, sending it to your room.

You really are lucky.

-

Two days pass by and you decide to ignore your laziness and finally unpack the rest of your boxes. You attempt to push some photo boxes on the top of your shelves, but you find yourself stretching so hard to reach the top. Your foot injury really is stupid and you just want to be able to normal walk, or jump, or even go on your tip toes.

Then you hear a sly chuckle coming from behind you. You let out a frustrated sign knowing exactly who it is.

“Loki, if you’re going to stand there and laugh at me, could you least help me and laugh at me?”

“Of course, darling.” He jokes.

He comes up behind you and takes the box from your struggling fingertips and carefully paces it on top of the shelf.

“Is there anything else you helpless being needs help with?”

“I could use help with hanging my window curtains.”

You point to the box in the corner with your large sheer curtains folded in them. He chuckles and goes over the box, carefully picking them up and hanging them on the frame. You can’t help but notice his figure as he hangs them. He is a marvelous being and who are you to deny your eyes of such a sight?

The sight in front of you proved that you are lucky

-

Tony gathers the group for a game night and it results in everyone becoming drunk and children. At some point, it becomes a truth or drink game night and everyone has their poison. You have your legs laid over Loki’s lap, who was really hard to convince to join the game, and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice in your hand, only because Tony didn’t have anything else. Loki’s slowly running his fingers over your legs, but higher than your cast.

“Okay, Steve,” Natasha coos, “your turn. Have you ever done drugs?”

“I did marijuana in high school once.”

The whole team gasps and whistles at his answer.

“Captain ain’t so wholesome, now, is he?” Sam cackles.

“I remember that night,” Bucky laughs, “You were so high.”

Steve chuckles and nods his head before looking to see you cuddled up next to Loki and gets a wicked idea.

“Loki, you’ve been quiet. Your turn.”

“Please no, I’m beyond your little games.”

“Aw come on, brother! One question won’t hurt you,” Thor laughs.

“Who in this room would ever kiss?”

Tony whistles and takes a sip of his drink as everyone else laughs. You can feel the ice giant get slightly warm out of embarrassment. His face is flushed with a rose pink color as you get nervous, lightly chuckling to himself.

“I uh…”

“Answer it. Answer it. Answer it.” Sam chants.

Everyone chuckles at the clear uncomfortableness of the god, not seeing him like this often.

“Y/N.” He whispers, almost too quiet for you to even hear.

“Louder, brother. I couldn’t hear you,” Thor says innocently.

“Y/N.”

You smile up at Loki in shock. He won’t look down to meet your eyes but stares straight out the window past Tony. The entire team cheers and chuckles.

“Oh, we’re never letting that one down.”

“How lucky am I?” You laugh.

-

You attempt to cook yourself some lunch but your stupid cast is getting in the way of moving around. It’s getting tiring to pick up your crutches every time you need a tool two feet away from you. Letting out a frustrated sigh, you hit the edge of the counter with the spatula in your hand.

“What is wrong, dearest?”

You turn your head to see Loki standing behind you with a concerned look on his face, this time not here to make fun of you.

“I’m tired of my stupid foot getting in the way of doing normal activities.”

“Darling, sit down. I’ll make lunch for you.”

“Loki, you really-”

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”

Loki picks you up and sets you down on the couch while also handing you the remote. He goes to the kitchen and attempts to resume your lunch.

“Sweetest, what are you cooking?”

You laugh really hard at his confusion.

“Fajitas.”

“What are those?”

“See Loki, it’s fine! You really don’t have to.”

“And I’m not going to. I’ll make Stark do it.”

Loki orders JARVIS to get Tony and finish making lunch for you. You laugh and shake your head at Loki as he sits down beside you on the couch. He starts to run his fingers through your hair but keeps getting caught in the tangles.

“Why is your hair like this?”

“It’s hard to do anything while standing up. I can barely brush my teeth without falling over.”

“Well, it looks like I’ll do that for you, too.”

“Loki, I swear if you-”

“No point in arguing. I’m going to assist you.”

You rolls your eyes at the cocky god as he smiles at you. Nuzzling your head into his neck, Loki holds you tightly in an embrace. Tony comes in to see you two cuddling and shakes his head.

“You are so lucky we love you.”

-

You wake up the next day to see Loki sleeping beside you on your bed. You try to remember anything that happened last night, but you were so tired, nothing comes to mind. If you didn’t have a broken foot, you would be concerned about waking up next to a god, but you also know he wouldn’t have done anything with your injury. He’s too kind (much to some disbelief).

“Good morning, darling.”

Loki leans over to you and kisses you on the forehead. He wasn’t as asleep as you thought he was, but you’re not complaining. Waking up beside this adonis isn’t the worst way to spend a morning.

“Good morning.”

“I don’t care what you say,” Loki smiles, brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear, “you’re staying in bed and I’m waiting on you.”

“That’s very sweet. Thank you.”

“I’m glad someone learned something last night.”

“Actually, I don’t remember a lot from last night. I was tired.”

“We bickered about me waiting on you, hand and foot.”

“Hmm, that sounds about right.”

“So, today I’m treating you like a proper princess.”

“Does that mean we’re together?”

Loki looks at you confused, but his face lights up when he realizes what you’re implying.

“I suppose so. In that case, my princess, I will wait on you.”

You watched as the god all day served you lunch and dinner. He brushed your hair and teeth. Helped you change clothes. Played your music to cheer you up. Even carried you to the bathroom when you had to go.

Thinking about all the things your friends have done for you and all of the things that Loki, your prince, has done, all you can say is how lucky you are.

[viastro]

second life | xu minghao

ミ★ synopsis: in which jun and jeonghan pick out a book titled, Second Life, and find a message written to someone on the title page. it’s only then that they learn the untold story of two lovers who met at a library 35 years ago.

ミ★ genre: soulmate!au (kinda ?), multiple lives!au, fluff, light angst

ミ★ warnings: major character death (it’s not bad i promise)

ミ★ word count: 4,219

ミ★ pairings: xu minghao x female reader

ミ★ notes: hi guys! when i wrote this oneshot, i couldn’t think of any other published book, so i decided to reference @sunlightwoo​‘s series, Second Life, which is really good so make sure to check it out ! i’m going to be a bit busy these upcoming weeks because i have finals soon, and i also just got a job as a boba barista ! i’ll try to post a oneshot at least once a week, but we’ll see how that goes HAHAHA as always, make sure to give lots of love to minghao <3 i hope you guys enjoy this one !!

“Who would wanna go to the library over the amusement park? And why is it you instead of Minghao?” Jun rolls his eyes at Jeonghan’s questions as the two of them step into the city library. They bow their heads in the elderly librarian’s direction, before walking further into the pretty empty space.

“Minghao keeps telling me to read more cause he’s tired of me bothering him.” Jun mutters as his eyes trail across the numerous books on the shelves. Jeonghan purses his lips, before nodding his head in agreement, knowing that Minghao is on the verge of possibly committing homicide if Jun barges into his apartment one more time unannounced.

“This looks nice.” Jun says quietly to himself as he pulls out the story titled, Second Life. He opens the cover, only to tilt his head at the writing scrawled on the title page. Jeonghan raises an eyebrow at Jun’s confused expression, so he leans in close to check out what he’s looking at. 

for yn,

as a reminder for a fairly wonderful day. i hope for many more to come. 

affectionately yours, 

xmh

“I guess this book was donated?” Jeonghan asks, glancing down at the page to see that it was published long before the two were alive. Jun nods his head, and they head over to the front desk to rent the story. 

“Ah, no one’s checked out this book in a long time.” The librarian says softly, hand grazing slightly over the written words. Jun and Jeonghan share a glance, before turning back towards the elderly woman. “Do you perhaps… know the person who wrote that message?” 

She glances up at the two handsome men, seeing their curious expressions on their faces. The librarian lets out a smile, nodding her head as she stamps the sticker in the book and slides it back in Jun’s direction. 

“They were a beautiful couple. I was just a young girl starting my first job as a librarian when they first met here, actually.” Jun finds himself growing more intrigued, as does Jeonghan since the two appear to be holding onto the librarians every word. 

“Can we hear their story?” Jeonghan asks, and they watch as the librarian smiles, before nodding her head. She gestures for them to move towards the couches, and she walks out from behind the desk and sits in front of the two. 

“It’s a bit of a long one, if that’s okay.” The librarian warns, and Jun and Jeonghan shake their heads, telling her that it’s no problem. She lets out a sigh, glancing out the window to see the yellow rays from the warm, summer sun shine into the library. 

“It was a beautiful spring day when they first met.”

Fucking hate pollen, you think grumpily to yourself as you rub your nose in an attempt to hold back the monstrous sneeze that threatens to escape if you inhale one more breath of the spring air. You notice the library around the corner, and quicken your pace as you walk over to escape from the allergy infested air. 

Once you’re there, you practically rip open the door and jump inside the quiet building. You let out a sigh of relief once the door closes behind you, and you pause, realizing how loud you must’ve been when you entered the library. So you turn your head slowly, just to find the relatively young librarian standing there with wide eyes, and you let out a small smile. 

“I’m so sor-” The words die in your throat when you feel that familiar feeling in the back of your nose, and you quietly try to fight it back. 

god, please. I’m in the place that’s supposed to be quiet, so if you humiliate me and make me sne-

You let out a loud sneeze that resembles the sound of the large stampede of wildebeest that killed Mufasa in the Lion King, and it makes you want to shrivel up and die right in the entrance of the library. You wouldn’t mind, really. It’d be a peaceful way to go out, just right here. In this library. Actually, it’d be rather pleasa-

“Do you need a tissue?” You turn your head to see the young librarian holding out a tissue box from her desk, and you let out an embarrassed smile. Shaking your head, you lift up your hand to tell her that you’re fine, only to stop and turn when you hear the door open from behind you. 

A tall man walks in with long red hair that’s parted down the middle. He’s wearing a black turtleneck with a sheer blue button down over it. Running a hand through his hair, he glances up from the floor and locks eyes with you once the door closes.

Love at first sight. You never believed it, didn’t understand the concept, really. Even thought it was stupid. How could you fall in love with someone just from a first glance? 

So why is it that you can’t seem to be able to breathe as you stare up into his deep, brown eyes that seem to hold millions of thoughts as they bore into yours. Feeling heat rush up to your cheeks, you turn away first, and he quietly coughs into his shoulder. 

“Sorry.” You mumble as you step to the side, feeling embarrassed for just staring at the ethereal man with an awed expression. You’re sure that he thinks you’re weird, and you debate on ways to escape the library while also being able to handle your allergies.

if i just shove the pieces of tissue up my nose, then i won’t sneeze every five seconds. brilliant.

However, the thoughts come to a stop when you find his hand outstretched towards you. Slowly, you glance up at the man, just to find a small smile on his face as he stares at you. 

“Hi, I’m Minghao.” Biting the inside of your cheek, you slowly reach out and grasp his hand softly, letting out a grin when you do so. You watch as his eyes seem to twinkle in the sunlight, and you wonder how someone can be so ethereal as you say, 

“Hi, I’m yn.”

“This book is taking a rather tragic turn.” You mutter as you turn the page, and Minghao glances at you out of the corner of his eye. He bites back a smile when he sees you upside down on the beanbag chair, reading Romeo and Juliet as you do so. Letting out a breath he responds, “You’ve read that book three times already, you should know that it’s not a good story.”

Rolling your eyes, you close the book and shoot the pretty man a glare. Minghao giggles when he sees you grumble to yourself about him always attacking you whenever you pick up any work of Shakespeares. You don’t blame him, Romeo and Juliet sucks, but you read the story for entertainment purposes. 

“Always ruining my fun.” You complain as you move to the aisle to pick up another story. Minghao grins, placing his book down after marking his spot and following after you. 

It’s been three months since you and Minghao met at this library, and the two of you have been meeting here almost every weekend just to read together. You’ve discovered that Minghao is not only physically pretty, but his talent and personality is truly unmatched. While Minghao has noticed that you shine brighter than all the stars in the sky whenever you speak of a book you’ve come to love. 

Secretly the two of you have developed feelings for the other, but as always, neither of you have made a move.

“Are you going to pick out another boring story?” Minghao teases from beside you, and you shoot him a glare, “You stink.”  

Minghao smiles, about to poke fun at you again, only to stop when he takes notice of the young librarian standing at the end of the aisle, holding up two glasses of water. You turn to glance in the direction Minghao is staring in, and immediately grin when you lock eyes with Areum.

“Areum! Are you going to read with us today?” You ask as you and Minghao walk over, quietly thanking her for the beverage as you both take a sip. She grins, shaking her head, and you immediately pout. “Why not?”

“I’m still on my shift, and I know how much you two enjoy your time together.” Areum says with a wink, and you feel the warmth rising to your face in an instant, quietly cursing Areum for her comments about you and Minghao. 

Minghao clears his throat when Areum wiggles her eyebrows at him, and she smiles brightly at the two of you. “I’ll try and join you guys when I finish my shift, but just come to the front desk if you need anything.” 

You both nod your head and watch as Areum turns and leaves the aisle. Letting out a breath, you turn and pull out a soft yellow book from the shelf, before walking back over to you and Minghao’s designated reading spot in the back of the library. 

“What lame book did you get this time?” Minghao asks, and you scoff as you sit back down in the comfortable chair. You turn over so that you’re upside down, and he giggles at your strange position. “You’re lame.”

“Rude.” You grin at his response before holding out the book you chose, watching as the silver letters of the title reflect back at you. “It’s called, Second Life, I actually haven’t read this one before.”  

Minghao purses his lips at the unfamiliar name, and you turn the book around so that he can also get a good look at it. Nodding his head, he pulls open his book again, “It seems interesting.” 

“Wow, that’s the first time you didn’t call one of the books I chose, lame.” You joke, and Minghao chuckles. He shrugs his shoulders, turning to glance at you, only to find you already staring back at him. 

Feeling the air shift between the two of you, you turn away after staring at each other in silence, and open up to the first page of the story. Minghao bites the inside of his cheek, before looking away and going back into his book as well.

The three unspoken words are left lingering in his brain as he glances over his book to take a peek at you, only to look back down.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” You ask as you watch Minghao look through the numerous books on the shelf to try to figure out what to read. He halts his movements, turning to glance down at you. “Do you?” 

Shrugging your shoulders, you glance down at the book you hold in your hands as you recall what you felt the first moment you and Minghao locked eyes. The pretty man purses his lips, feeling his heart thump within his chest as he finally pulls out a book he decided to read. 

“I didn’t, originally.” Minghao begins, and you raise an eyebrow. He stays quiet for a second, debating on whether or not he should continue as you tilt your head to the side at his silence. Running a hand through your hair you ask, “What happened that made you change your mind?” 

Minghao turns towards you, and your eyes widen slightly when you take in how nervous he looks. He bites the inside of his cheek, rethinking his decision one more time. 

you can back out, there’s no reason to say anyth-

“Then I met you.” Minghao says softly, completely ignoring his rampant thoughts, and the two of you stare at each other in silence for a long time as you let his words soak in. He lets out a sad laugh at the shocked expression on your face, running a hand through his pretty red hair as he nods his head with a tight-lipped smile. “It’s okay, I understand-”

You take a step forward and wrap your arms around his waist, making the rest of Minghao’s words die in his throat. A smile forms on your face when you feel his arms tentatively wrap around your body, his hand moving to cradle your head. 

“You love me too?” Minghao asks, sounding breathless due to the shock of the feeling being mutual. You nod your head, closing your eyes when you hear his rapid heartbeat against your ear. 

“At first sight.” You mutter softly, and Minghao smiles at your words. He rests his cheek on the top of your head, and the two of you stay like that for a while in the library aisle. Books that are in your grasp now forgotten as you hold each other.

Areum glances up when she hears the doors to the library open, and lets out a small smile when she sees you and Minghao walking in, fingers intertwined as you both immediately head towards the front desk to greet the young librarian. 

“Hi Areum!” You whisper excitedly, and Areum greets you and Minghao with just as much enthusiasm. Minghao watches with a fond smile when the two of you begin to discuss any strange customers walking into the library, and Areum grins when she catches sight of this.

You and Minghao have been dating for six months, and still manage to come to the library almost every weekend. Areum is sure that the two of you have read every single book in this library by now, but she doesn’t question it. She enjoys your guys’ company. 

“I’m going to set up our spot, are you gonna talk to Areum?” You ask Minghao once you and Areum finish your conversation on the guy who walked into the library just to look for any dust. Minghao nods his head, and you shoot him a thumbs up, before walking over to the reading spot. 

“Did you need something, Minghao?” Areum asks as she begins to sort through the books atop of her desk. Minghao nods his head, glancing over in the direction you walked off to see if you’ll hear anything. She raises an eyebrow when Minghao pulls out a book from the pocket on the inside of his jacket, watching as he places it in front of her. 

“Second Life? Are you returning this?” Areum asks, and Minghao shakes his head. He purses his lips, before pointing at the book with his finger as he grabs a pen. “I was wondering if I could buy it. It’s the book yn was reading when I confessed to her, and I think it’d be ni-”

“Of course!” Minghao’s eyes widen slightly when Areum scans the book, having not expected it to be that easy.

“Really? Are you sure I don’t have to go through a process to get the book or like-”

“Nope, just pay the cost and the book is yours. It’s not a big deal.” Areum reassures with a smile, only to internally slap herself when she realizes she’ll have to order another one later in her shift. 

Curse Minghao and yn for being the most precious couple ever.

“Thank you so much, Areum.” Minghao says as he hands her money to cover the cost of the book. She grins, nodding her head as she hands back then leftover change. Once the transaction goes through, Minghao open the book to the first page and clicks the pen. 

“Are you going to write a message?” Areum asks, and Minghao nods his head with a small smile on his face. She watches as the words make their way onto the page, and she feels her heart warm when he places the pen back down on the table. 

“Thank you so much for letting me buy this. I’m gonna go head to the back with yn, are you gonna join us to read later?” Areum nods her head with a smile, and Minghao shoots her a thumbs up. He turns and walks to the back where you are, and Areum lets out a happy sigh. 

“Never thought soulmates could be real until I saw those two.” Areum mutters to herself, chuckling when she hears you let out an awe, most likely due to Minghao handing you the book as a present. 

“Maybe I should leave the painting to you, huh?” You say as you take a step back to stare at your canvas, and Minghao hums when he turns around from his own creation to take a look at yours. He lets out a smile at the numerous smiley faces and flowers you painted, thinking that the painting is rather endearing. “I think it looks nice.” 

You scoff with a playful grin, pointing over at his painting that numerous different colors, all splattered onto the canvas. You don’t understand how he was able to make paint splatters look beautiful, but this is Xu Minghao we’re talking about. The most talented man you know. 

“Says the reincarnated Picasso over here.” You joke, and Minghao rolls his eyes. He places his paintbrush into the cup and walks over to you, wrapping his arms around the back of your shoulders and resting his chin on the top of your head. 

“Yours is sweet, it speaks volumes on your personality.” Minghao explains, grinning at the excessive use of yellow. You squint at the painting, turning to glance up at your boyfriend, causing him to smile down at you. “Which is?”

Minghao purses his lips, glancing back at the painting once more to think about his response. He giggles, looking back down at you with a teasing smile on his face. 

“Someone who doesn’t know how to paint.” You reach out and slap his stomach, making him double over in laughter as you chuckle in response. Minghao lets out a happy sigh, finally calmed down from his joke as he stands back up at his full height. He leans over and presses a soft kiss to your lips, before pulling away and grinning. “I’m kidding, art is whatever you want it to be. I’ll hang this up in my room when it dries.”

You roll your eyes with a smile, watching as Minghao walks back over to his painting to start cleaning up. You watch as he quietly hums a song to himself, and you let out a content sigh, ignoring the pain in your head in order to enjoy what’s going on in front of you. Minghao feels your eyes on him, and he turns back to see you smiling softly at him. 

“Mmm, you’re staring again.” Minghao murmurs as he places the paint tubes back into their container. You shrug your shoulders, a sad smile on your face as you stare at your pretty boyfriend, “I just like seeing you.” 

Minghao pauses, a slight blush rising to his cheeks as he proceeds to continue cleaning up. You grin, before turning back to start cleaning up your area as well, grimacing from the growing pain in your head that you’re trying to ignore. Minghao turns and catches sight of the sunlight casting a glow on your face, and he smiles softly. 

“I like seeing you too, yn.” 

Areum walks over to the front desk, moving to check back in the books that were returned, only to hear the bells of the door. She raises an eyebrow, only to let out a smile when she sees Minghao walking in. 

“Hey Minghao! Where’s yn? The two of you haven’t been here for a few months.” Areum says cheerfully, only to feel her heart fall slightly at the sad smile Minghao sends her way. He bites his lip as he walks over and rests his hands on the top of the desk. 

His long red hair isn’t styled like it usually is, instead just laying over his forehead. She takes notice of the dark bags under his eyes, and the slight hollowness to his cheeks. Areum opens her mouth to ask if everything’s alright, only to stop when Minghao places the soft yellow book face up on the desk. She stares at the cover, and slowly looks up at Minghao, trying to see if what she’s thinking isn’t true when she locks eyes with the pretty man whose face always held a smile when he was in the library with you. 

“Yn’s gone.” Minghao mutters softly, thumb grazing over the letters of the title on the book. Areum clenches her fist tightly together at her side, refusing to believe his words. Minghao bites the inside of his cheek harshly, before pushing the yellow book he bought towards Areum’s direction. 

“It’s yours now. Thank you for the kindness you showed yn and I whenever we came here, I know she appreciated it a lot.” Minghao tells Areum, before turning around to walk out. Areum’s eyes widen slightly, and she walks out from behind the desk and stands right behind the tall man.

“W-why does this sound like goodbye? You’re coming back, aren’t you?” Areum asks, eyes frantically searching Minghao’s when he turns to glance at her. He reaches out and softly pats Areum’s shoulder, giving her a smile that no longer holds any light. “Maybe if my second life is kind to me, then I’ll be back.” 

And with that, Minghao turns and walks out of the library, leaving Areum to stand there, sadness overcoming her heart as she watches his figure slowly shrink until it disappears.

“His name is Minghao?” Jun asks once Areum finishes the story, and she nods her head, taking a sip of water to fix her parched throat. Jeonghan and Jun share a glance, before turning back towards the librarian. “Did you ever hear from him after that?” 

Areum nods her head again, letting out a small smile. “He sent me a letter from Singapore a few years after he left the library, but I learned that he got into a car accident a month prior to when I received it. He passed at an early age, but I’m glad to hear that he was doing alright. It’s been maybe, 25 years since he passed.” 

Jeonghan purses his lips, glancing at the book Jun grabbed. He leans forward in the seat, and Areum glances up at him. “We actually have a friend named-”

“I didn’t think you guys would actually go to a library.” The three turn to glance at the sound of the voice, finding Minghao standing at the doorway with a bright smile on his face. Areum’s eyes widen, and she slowly stands up from the couch in shock at the sight. 

It’s Minghao, she thinks to herself as she stares at him. His hair is now its natural shade of black, a contrast to his long red hair years ago, but it’s still a similar length. He looks up and locks eyes with Areum, and he tilts his head to the side, a smile still on his face as he bows in her direction. “Hello, I’m Minghao.” 

Jun and Jeonghan glance at each other when they see the shocked expression on Areum’s face, and the pieces of the puzzle slowly make their way together when suddenly the bell on the door rings again. The three of them glance at the door, and Minghao slowly turns his head, just to feel his breath get caught in his throat. 

Your eyes widen slightly at all the people crowded near the door, and you stop when you realize someone is right in front of you. You glance up and lock eyes with the prettiest man you’ve ever seen, and all the thoughts in your brain disappear at the sight of him. A familiar feeling floods your senses, one that you can only relate to the feeling of coming home. 

Unbeknownst to you, Minghao is feeling the exact same thing. Except he feels more emotional as he stares down at you, heart pounding against his chest when he catches the sparkle in your eye.

Areum’s mouth drops open when she sees the exact same scene she saw 35 years ago when you and Minghao first met. Her heart thumps against her chest, and she slowly raises her hand until it rests against her heart as she stares at the two of you. 

“You look familiar, have we met before?” You ask in a small voice, letting out a smile when you catch sight of the redness to his ears. Minghao clears his throat, smiling when he sees the brightness to your eyes. “I was going to ask you the same thing.” 

The two of you stare at each other for a moment longer, before you extend your hand in his direction. You tilt your head to the side with a shy smile on your face, “Hi, I’m yn.” 

Minghao bites the inside of his cheek, grinning when he reaches out and grasps your hand. He feels warmth flood his features at the contact, finding you both beautiful, and familiar. It’s as if he’s experiencing deja vu when he says, “Hi, I’m Minghao.” 

Jun and Jeonghan turn and look at the soft yellow book resting on the table, and Jun let's out a breathless chuckle. He runs his hand over the title, smiling when he looks back towards you and Minghao. 

“His second life. He found you again in his second life.”

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

Shower Friends (Miya Atsumu x F!reader)

The dorm you live in has co-ed bathrooms. Why that’s remotely a good idea is beyond you; and recently, your precious shower time is being interrupted by a certain blonde haired setter for the volleyball team. When he lies to his teammates that he has a girlfriend, somehow you get roped into his scheme.

genre(s): college!au, fake dating, angst, fluff, mutual pining, enemies to lovers (kinda), eventual smut (maybe)  words: 3.5k

a/n: ah the sweet sweet smell of mutual pining. also 3 more chapters are planned, not written yet though bc i just decided i’d be writing them lmao. hopefully can get started on that this weekend and post them next week 🤗

taglist:  @apollochjld @kurosarium @vicassa @carbs-need-more-love @underratedmage @idek-at-thispoint @wtfeverbrandi @food8me @yikes-buddy @ntimacy @nyxiie @oikawasbooty @chocolate3010 @sugawarabby @greenyiplier @kritiiiii @tokyosdawn @youstydiaa @h3llok1ttygirl 

one | two 

Chapter Three

“You want me to help you with what?” You ask, a bit stunned when he showed up at the door, a terribly annoying but also cute pleading expression on his face.

He groans, his shoulders hunching forward in exasperation. “Ya really gunna make me repeat it?”

You peer closer at the top of his head and see that he’s being serious. The roots of his hair growing in are a dark brown and it had never even occurred to you that he dyes his hair the blonde color you’re so used to. “No, but why do you need my help?”

This is so embarrassing. Normally his roommate or a teammate can help him but none of them are available today and he’s already let the roots grow longer than he likes. But when one of them suggested you help him out instead, something inside him rebelled. For some reason, the thought of having you dye his hair for him made him uncomfortable, like he’s showing you an intimate part of him. This hair has been a part of him so long he can’t remember the last time he’d let it grow out.

“I can’t see if I got everything,” he admits. It took a lot of pacing around his room and staring at his roots for him to get up the courage to come over here to ask you. He can’t really explain why he was so against it, especially since you don’t seem to mind after you got over the initial shock of realizing this isn’t his natural hair.

A wave of relief washes over him when you sigh, conceding, “Alright. Just let me change into something I can get bleach on. I’ll meet you at your dorm.”

While he waits for you, he busies himself with mixing the dye together so it’s ready for you, and when you arrive in a t-shirt and shorts with paint splatters all over them, he mentally kicks himself for thinking about how even wearing something so simple you still look better than anyone he’s ever seen. Crossing your arms, you motion for him to take a seat at his desk. Before he does so, he reaches behind his neck to grab at the collar of his shirt and pull it over his head.

You stand there dumbfounded for a moment, it taking you a second to process that he’s now standing before you shirtless and you’re free to ogle his muscular chest and arms to your hearts content. He doesn’t pay any attention to you, knowing if he meets your gaze, he won’t be able to stop the heat threatening to crawl up his neck. Instead, he wraps a towel around his waist to protect his shorts and sits in the chair to wait for you.  

Except now, you have free reign to stare at his back, which is just as defined as the front of him and you need a few more seconds to reel your thoughts back.

“Whaddya waitin’ for darling?” He drawls, throwing you a glance over his shoulder, not expecting you to be standing there frozen, eyes pinned to his now bare chest.

He opens his mouth to tease you further, but your eyes snap to his and you practically shout, “Do you have another towel?” He just cocks a brow and then points to his closet where another towel is hanging on a hook. Snatching it, you return to him and drape it over his shoulders, hiding most of his annoyingly toned body. “Don’t want to get any bleach on your skin,” you explain, no way in hell ever admitting to him that you’re finding it hard to focus with him on display like that.

Absentmindedly, he hands you one of the clips he bought a long time ago, one that’s almost completely bleached itself and you start running your fingers through his hair to section it. He closes his eyes, focusing intently on the soothing sensation of your fingers on his scalp, doing his best not to groan out loud at how good it feels. With anyone else, this isn’t anything special, normally he sits as patiently as he can whilst trying not to annoy whoever is doing his hair (lest they decide to ‘mess up’ as punishment). But with you, it’s a different feeling entirely.

It's jarringly intimate as you clip his hair back and reach over him to grab the plastic gloves that came with the dye. Lathering up the applicator brush, you start slathering it onto his hair, trying your hardest to make sure it’s evenly distributed and surrounding each strand. As you do so, you ask, “How long have you been doing this?”

He resists the urge to shrug, not wanting to jostle you, replying, “Osamu and I started in middle school.”

“Osamu dyes his hair too?”

“Yeah, he goes for gray. But I’d heard blondes have more fun so—here we are.”

He grits his teeth as your fingers skim over his scalp, glad for the towel you wrapped around him to hide the goosebumps skittering along his bare skin.

“Let me guess,” you muse. “You guys did it because people couldn’t tell you apart?”

“That,” he laughs, “And we thought it would look cool. The first time we did it, it looked like shit.”

Your answering laugh warms his heart as you unclip a section of hair and keep working. “I can’t imagine your mom being too happy about it.”

“Livid. We got bleach everywhere.”

You laugh, continuing to move through his hair methodically. It doesn’t take very long as you’re just dying his roots and they weren’t that bad to begin with, contrary to what Atsumu thinks. When you finish, he gives you a sheepish look and has to swallow his pride to ask you to help him wash it out. Every time he’s tried to do it himself, he always ends up leaving a huge chunk of bleach somewhere.

You oblige, following him to the bathroom, not bothering to care about the looks you get along the way. If they want to stare at a shirtless Atsumu and then glare at you for having that all to yourself, that’s their prerogative. It does wonders for your confidence, regardless that all of this is a ruse.

Luckily, the bathroom is empty and Atsumu dutifully bends over the sink to let you start washing the dye out of his hair. He’s immensely grateful his eyes are shut, and his face is shoved into the sink to hide his flushed cheeks as he thoroughly enjoys your fingers running through his hair. The sensation of your fingernails lightly scraping over his scalp makes him ball his fists as he has to bite his lip to keep from making any sounds.

You’re unbothered, until you notice the towel has slipped from his shoulders and with the way he’s bracing himself against the counter every muscle in his back and arms is on display for you to see. It’s an effort to continue your task as if nothing is wrong and force yourself to look off into the distance instead of eyeing him up.

It’s no easy feat. Especially when you finish and he rises, scrubbing at his face with the discarded towel before moving on to his hair. You press your lips into a firm line and let yourself indulge just a little bit looking at the way his muscles flex with the movement, droplets from his damp hair trailing down the planes of his chest towards the waistband of his shorts and—your attention is broken at the sound of him chuckling and you snap your gaze to his.

You find him staring at you with mischief sparkling in his eyes, so you speak before he can tease you. “Is that it?”

“We have to actually dye it now.”

“Oh.” You turn on your heels desperate to escape his gaze. “Let’s go then.” A smirk plays across his lips, but he refrains from teasing you, solely because he very much enjoyed the way you were looking at him and doesn’t want you to stop.

And yeah—sue him if he thinks about your hands in his hair for the rest of the day. In the end, he might be a little grateful no one else was available to help him.

When mid-semester break arrives, it comes as a surprise that you actually miss each other. What surprises you even further, is that he’s the one to bring it up. Within the first night, he video calls you, a sheepish expression on his face, explaining he needed someone to complain to.

“What do you mean?” You teased. “Sounds like you’re getting stuffed with good food from Osamu and you have plenty to brag about.” You winked, smiling devilishly at him and pointing to yourself. You’re only joking. Slightly. You aren’t sure what will come about if he tells his family about you, or if that’s even a good idea. It’d be much easier to break this off cleanly without the involvement of each other’s families.

He sighs, flopping down on his bed and scrubbing his face with one hand. “They’re just dyin’ to meet you now.”

Your brows lift, half-expecting him to have tried to keep this a secret. “You told them?”

“I wasn’t gunna,” he explains. “But apparently some college sports news channel caught um—,” he coughs awkwardly, remembering very vividly this day, yet the two of you haven’t acknowledged it since. “Our—uh—celebration.”

Eyes widening, you stare at him a moment before the both of you burst out laughing. Between your giggles you manage to say, “Oops.”

Laughing alongside you, he grins, despite the pang in his heart at the voice in his head desperately trying to remind him all of this isn’t real. You aren’t his girlfriend and the moment all of this ends, you probably won’t bat an eye at him ever again. He hates how much that hurts.

Forging onward towards his demise he discloses, “I am now a very proud owner of a very jealous brother now, so thank you.”

That only makes you keep grinning, setting a hand on your cheek and dramatically saying, “What? Of little ol’ me?”

He fights the urge to tell you that yes—jealous of little ol’ you. The girl who is slowly becoming the girl of his dreams. The beautiful, funny girl who deals with him and everything that comes with him. He swallows all that, keeping the mood and saying, “He refuses to let me try any of his onigiri. A crime, really.”

“Of the highest caliber,” you agree, stifling your laughter. “Though I’m sure you steal some when he isn’t looking.”

“Yeah, but he caught me and hit me on the head with his spoon.”

“How dare he. Lucky for me, my family is clueless.”

“What do they think yer doin’ right now then?”

Shrugging you say, “I told them I had a project to work on with a classmate. Which isn’t entirely a lie, I do have a project to work on. But someone interrupted.”

He smirks. “Wonder who that could be.”

“Beats me.” His responding grin does something to you that’s been happening a lot more frequently lately. Making you feel like all the air has been punched out of you and like your heart is going to beat out of your chest. Though, you’ve gotten quite good at hiding it.

In the distance, you hear someone calling his name. He panics, it’s bad enough his family knows about you now, but he isn’t sure if he’s ready for them to meet you. Especially Osamu, who he has the sinking feeling is already suspicious of this. It’ll be a miracle if he can slip this by him.

“Gotta go!” He says quickly, and before he ends the call, he hears you chuckle and say, “Beware the spoon.”

Every day his situation only gets worse.

The next night he can’t get Osamu off his back. Enough that when he tries to retreat to his bedroom to give you a call, pathetically missing you again, Osamu bursts in when he’s about two minutes into the video call with you. He tries to shove him out, embarrassed and afraid Osamu will see straight through him. But Osamu is stubborn, and he hears you laughing on the other end of the call before saying, “Aww, Atsumu won’t you at least let me try to charm the pants off him?”

He grits his teeth, the thought that he wants you to charm the pants off of him, not his brother flitting through his head before he can stop it. But he relents, letting Osamu sit backwards on his desk chair to join the conversation.

He isn’t sure how, but somehow you get Osamu to believe this is real in a matter of minutes. You have him laughing and talking about culinary school and he almost feels jealous that your attention is now on Osamu instead of him. It’s a ridiculous notion, he knows it, but it doesn’t stop him from keeping the camera on him as much as possible.

When the call ends, Osamu looks at him seriously, and for a moment Atsumu thinks he’s just been pretending to believe you this entire time. However, he breaks into a smile and smacks him on the back saying, “Got yerself a keeper, there.”

Atsumu tries to grin with as much sincerity as he can. Yeah—he knows he does. But that isn’t going to stop this from ending.

That night, both of you go to bed feeling like you’re getting in too deep.

And as per usual, when school starts back up again, neither of you bring it up. You’re happy to keep ignoring it, hating yourself for liking this arrangement and him more and more every day. It sad really, how much time in your day is spent thinking about him. Wondering if there’s any possibility that the two of you could just transition to a real relationship. Because to you, that’s already what this is. Nothing would change, but at least you’d stop feeling guilty every time you enjoy his hand in yours or the soft press of his lips to the top of your head.

A few days after returning to school, you find yourself alone with him in his dorm room studying. He’s sitting at his desk, hunched over a textbook while you lay on his bed, head propped up by an elbow. You can feel your eyes drooping, the words blurring together, it becoming harder and harder to stay awake. His bed is too comfortable and smells overwhelmingly like him, a scent you’ve come to enjoy every time you’re pressed up against him. A mixture of his body wash and the ever-present faint smell of the volleyball court. Eventually you’re powerless against the solace of sleep.

When Atsumu notices you, his heart jumps into his throat. You look so serene and peaceful, your chest rising and falling ever so slightly, part of him wants to crawl in beside you and press his face into your neck and fall asleep right along with you.

But he too has begun to feel like this game has gone too far. The moment he had to tell his family, lie to Osamu, he knew he’d crossed a line. It isn’t fair to you. No longer does he need to pretend for his teammates that he can have a serious relationship, there isn’t a reason to torture himself and keep you tied to him anymore.

Yet, thinking about not being without you, no longer eating lunch together, studying together, or having you in the stands at his games wrenches his heart in such a way he actually feels like it’s crumpling inside his chest. He hasn’t been able to admit it, but at some point along the way, he thinks he fell in love with you. And it just hurts too much to keep pretending. Especially when you’re only doing this for peace and quiet during your showers.

For you, he shouldn’t drag this on any longer.

So, a couple days later, you texted him telling him you were in the library and can join him anytime if he wants. A harmless text, one you’ve sent him many times since this whole thing started, but this one makes his heart sink. Knowing this is the opportunity he’s been waiting for to talk to you. He tries to not think about it, trying to let volleyball take over his thoughts, but it’s futile. All he can think about is saying those words to you, and how it’s quite possibly going to utterly destroy him.

But you take it well, as he expects, squashing the hope that you might feel something for him too.

That night in the library feels particularly lonely. There’s no quick-witted remark from the boy who carved himself a place in your life, no one there to make you laugh when you’re struggling with a problem. Instead, you’re met with nothing but the darkness and silence of the library. It’s almost too much to bear, and once the silence starts closing in on you—you force yourself to leave, refusing to let yourself wallow.

The next weeks are hard. He never imagined that he’d think that after all of this was over. He keeps showering in the mornings to avoid you and uphold the deal you two struck months ago. He ignores the empty hole in his chest when he eats lunch without you, or studies late alone. The most jarring thing is your absence at his games. He constantly finds himself searching the crowd for your face, before remembering you won’t be there. He misses that intense gaze he could always feel on his back, the one that kept him awake at night when he let his thoughts run wild.

He feels as though something has been ripped from his life, leaving nothing but a gaping hole behind that seems intent on devouring him whole.

The same can be said for you.

Who knew you’d ever miss his teasing remarks while you shower? Or miss how you could complain to him endlessly about classes and then have him comfort you in the warm solace of his arms? Even the little things like walking to class together, now that you do it alone, it feels like there’s something missing.

The two you go on like that, thinking of the other every night before sleeping, tossing and turning with the thought of what could have been.

And eventually, you reach the point where you’re over it. Over pining after him day after day, peering out your door to make sure he isn’t around, or taking detours just to avoid him in the hallways. You’re over it. Enough that you’re willing to swallow your pride and confess to him, even if he doesn’t feel the same way—maybe you can fucking move on then.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you stomp to his dorm room, his roommate opening the door; his eyes widening upon seeing you. Immediately, he grabs his keys saying into the room, “I forgot I need to go to the store Atsumu, see you later.”

He leaves no time for Atsumu to protest, out the door in a matter of moments, leaving you standing in the doorway. Atsumu is just sitting in his desk chair, looking dumfounded at you, having fully expected to never see you again.

The gears in his head grind to a halt as you say, “This is stupid.”

He gives you a bewildered look, unsure what exactly you mean by that.

You steel your courage and press on. “I like you. And you like me. I think. And all this pretending that we don’t is stupid.”

After a few moments, his lips curve into a smile, the mischievous one you used to hate but now feel relief seeing. He can’t help the joy building in his chest at your confession. How many sleepless nights thinking about this very moment did he endure?

“You said it,” he teases.

Despite giving him a look, you do nothing to stop the grin rising to your lips. “Well, it didn’t seem like you were going to.”

His smile only widens, and he motions you into the room. “Get yer butt over here already.”

You move on instinct, striding into the room and climbing into his lap, settling your legs on either side of his you wrap your arms around his neck. The overwhelming sense that yes—this is exactly where you want to be, washes over you. He smirks up at you, his large hands resting at your waist, waiting for your next move.

“I can’t believe I actually missed that stupid smirk,” you say, lowering your lips to his, fingers slipping into the short hair at the base of his neck.

His smile hasn’t faltered, muttering against your lips teasing, “Does this mean I can shower at night again?”

A laugh bubbles out of you, but he smothers it in another kiss and refuses to let go.